#but the stakes are so high that it really doesnt make sense to panic

[utopianparadoxist]

What’s your thoughts on all the Viz and Homestuckdotcom stuff

Mainly, I’m sad about the fine folks at WP who lost their jobs. I’m concerned about Hiveswap, too, but not the way most of the fandom seems to be.

Just to be clear, I don’t have any special insight or anything. Everything I’m about to say is wildly speculatory, but well, so is pretty much all of the doomsaying already out here. I don’t really think all is lost, so if I can provide any comfort, I may as well offer my perspective.

Let’s break this down, because a lot of facts are getting mixed in with people making assumptions. Here’s what happened yesterday:

1) Cohen and Shelby tweeted that they were looking for work. That’s not an official statement on anything, but combined with WP’s branding being removed from the Hiveswap website and Poinko and James leaving, things certainly look bad for WP.

2) On the same day, VIZ launched the new version of the Homestuck website, with a redesign meant to render the comic more accessible--particularly for mobile users--and start future proofing the parts of the comic made on technology that is soon being rendered obsolete and largely unusable, like Flash.

These two things don’t seem innately related. Viz hasn’t done anything except update/future proof the website, which I already expected from the partnership. They also released a news post alluding to new stuff being on the way, which sounds like an update on the epilogue Hussie said he was working on with them. 

Even so, the overall look of the move has the fandom crying foul because they suspect VIZ is instigating some sort of corporate takeover. And while I think it’s good to be careful, I just don’t see the evidence for that yet.

I’m wary of corporate overlords, so I’ve sort of worried about VIZ along those lines before. And that is a risk I am continuing to look out for. But if I was worried about corporate censorship/manipulation of Homestuck, the only thing I’d immediately worry about is the LGBT stuff.And for a corporation, Viz’s track record on LGBT stuff is fairly solid.They’re in charge of re-dubbing the Sailor Moon anime, and have garnered positive press for NOT censoring the LGBT stuff the original dub did. They’ve published some LGBT manga. They’re not an LGBT corporation or anything, but their track record veers positive, is all I’m saying.

I can’t really think of what else they’d mess with. I’ve heard of them censoring religious imagery, and Homestuck does deal in some heavy spiritual/mythological themes, but I definitely wouldnt say anything in the comic is overtly religious.

More to the point, if they were going to mess with the actual comic, I don’t see why they wouldn’t have done so now, while they were doing the redesign. And while we’re at it, I should mention its questionable that VIZ actually has control over Homestuck’s actual IP.

The Homestuck website is copyrighted to Viz *and* Homestuck itself, which is the legal entity I’d expect holds all the actual creative rights. That probably wouldn’t matter if VIZ wanted to just strongarm Hussie with lawyers, though-- billion dollar corporations are dangerous that way.

I’m just saying, I don’t know that having partial control of the site at all implies Hussie just “handed off” creative control to VIZ. That seems like a wild assumption.

Also an assumption is the idea that VIZ “fired” WP so that they could develop the game themselves, which...I don’t really buy at all right now. Its not clear to me that VIZ has the expertise, manpower, or even interest in developing Hiveswap themselves.

Again, I am not claiming to have facts here. This is just an alternate line of fandom speculation. Please, for the love of fuck, don’t treat me like an expert. But here’s how things look from my perspective.

Because VIZ is largely a soulless corporation, the only motivation I can confidently ascribe to them is the one all companies have: making money.And Hiveswap doesn’t exactly seem like it sold gangbusters, honestly.

@sometipsygnostalgic has noted how lackluster the advertising for the game was, and its true they seemed to be relying on word of mouth and hype to get the game sold. That doesn’t seem to have happened.

I find it hard to believe VIZ would watch this commercial flop unfold, and come out of it thinking its best move is to invest MORE money in the endeavor. Corporations don’t typically respond to market failure by doubling down on their investments, just in general.

But more to the point, I don’t see that VIZ has a clear route to do so. The company only JUST involved itself in narrative driven indie games-- and it’s involved itself as a publisher, NOT a developer. It partnered with two developers that we currently know of: 1) Rose City Games, the devs of The World Next Door, and until now, 2) What Pumpkin.

Rose City Games looks a lot like WP, staff-wise--it seems to be a small indie team of about a dozen and a half people, working on their first game. They’ve done some organizational work and stuff like that, but nothing that suggests to me that they’d be prepared or willing to just...take on Hiveswap in WP’s stead.

And there IS NO IN-HOUSE GAME DEV STUDIO at Viz. It doesn’t exist. Making Hiveswap themselves would mean building one, just like WP had to, and I don’t see why they’d want to take the risk with the less than promising results of Act 1.

While it’s possible this is some kind of takeover situation, that is a big IF to me right now. VIZ would be making some legit hard business decisions in pursuing that maneuver, and it’s not clear they’re going to. I think its at least as possible that development on the game is simply canceled, or ideally, frozen until there's enough funds to actually pay people.

That last point is what I think fans should focus on. IF it’s a matter of simple lack of funs forcing What Pumpkin to close doors because there isn't, uh, the money to friggin pay people, then...there’s probably hope.

Like I said, VIZ did just allude to more news coming. IF whatever they’re working on with Hussie is good/interesting enough to, say, get new people reading Homestuck, then all of a sudden the comic would be drawing new interest while also advertising to incoming readers about...Hiveswap, which is now advertised for on the web-site through pop up ads.

Kind of invasive? Sure. But word of mouth didn’t get the game sold, so if some old-fashioned advertising does and Hiveswap/Homestuck collectively start collecting enough hype and profit that the staff of WP can be rehired, I won’t complain.

All in all, I’ll just say we’ll have a much better idea of what this partnership between Hussie and VIZ looks like--and what VIZ’s intent is--once we see some actual content they’ve produced together. I suggest the fandom wait it out to see what this Epilogue is, and what kind of content might be coming after.

With any luck, that wait will only last until 4/13.

[mcmactictac]

Hi 🙋‍♂️

What do you think about jasons death ? In my opinion it made sense because it made the emprrors seem like a true threat but in the other hand i wish his character arc had been finished before that . Jason was suppossed to be a Bridge between greeks and romans and yet we barely See him in that role.Also i would have loved to See platonic jiper .... .....

Oh I have SO many thought about this I’m so glad you asked.

Here’s the thing. Jason had the potential to be a really interesting character in hero’s of olympus, but a lot of it was tossed to the side because there was so much other stuff going on with the plot. I know everyone complained about how boring he was and how he did literally nothing. Although his character has amazing potential, it was never going to be properly explored.

The one thing they could do to Jason’s character to make him more interesting and sympathetic is kill him off. Although it frustrates me that his death is really only there for Apollo’s development, it made his character more interesting. I feel like it adds threats we don’t usually see with demigods.

Within the first series they talk a lot about how demigods usually don’t make it past like 20, but then no one really dies beside in the war. I think Jason’s death is a good way to show that accidents happen on quests, even the most qualified and put together person can slip up, can lose and can die just as easily as everyone else.

I know I personally found Jason’s character the most interesting in the burning maze because he’s given something he wants. He’s in school, he’s not in a relationship with Piper so his character arc centers around himself, not around his relationship, and he wants to rebuild camp Jupiter. He doesn’t just have a goal he has to complete, he has something that he WANTS.

This makes his death hurt way more because Jason really hasn’t had anything he cared about for? His character was very responsibility and mission driven, so to see him focus on something for himself only to have it ripped away? Very interesting. It makes his feel ty more impactful because it wasn’t the end of his arc, he had things he wanted and like he wasn’t DONE. And he wasn’t expecting to die like he was on a quest

That being said because I am petty. Blood of olympus had very low stakes for me. The climax was over pretty quickly and although I know it’s a children’s book like. No one actually “dying” felt like a cop out. The whole series has been building up to that with the promise someone is going to die and then Leo has an anticlimactic “death” before coming right back. I wanted to see one of them get like. A really rough ending I guess? Obviously I love them all and I wouldn’t want any of them to hurt but like. To spill the blood, someone should have died. Someone should have sacrificed themselves to protect someone else. And it should have been a clear death, a permanent there’s no coming back where you see the body. When I read the book I assumed Rick didn’t do it just because it’s a children’s book and since we get POV’s from everyone it would be kind of graphic for kids to see that character die but like.

If we were going to properly kill someone, I wish we did it in hero’s of olympus. Although I think Jason’s death sets good stakes in trials of Apollo, he really didn’t get much to work with character wise. He should have been killed off In his own series where he was one of the people who was SUPPOSED to die. It would have been better for his character since we could have the POV’s of Piper, Leo and people who are really invested in him, not just Apollo.

Now I have many many thoughts about where Jason’s character should have gone especially since everyone in HOO had such interesting backstories that were just kind of thrown away and not talked about again. Like. (Tw for suicide skip to next paragraph to avoid it)

I wanna talk about Percy and his clearly suicidal tendencies. How quickly he gave up once they landed in the river, how much he struggled when he was “drowning”. I wanted to see him have some ptsd from that. A percy who can’t stay long underwater because it sends him into a panic attack. Same with Frank he had so much potential with that stick and it was just. Not there. Now correct me if this did happen I haven’t read the books in a while but I want to see a Frank who lights it on purpose, to try and save other people. Frank who screws up on a big mission, gets people hurt and sits on his bed with a lighter in one hand and the stick in the other. He was responsible for so many deaths he thinks, shouldnt i die a bit too? I know these are dark topics for a kids book but I think it’s important to talk about them and expose them to the concept so they feel less alone if they have that.

An Annabeth who’s tired, and done, and DOESNT have all the answers anymore. Shes an anxious kid who keeps losing everything, and she can’t always keep everything together. At some point, she should have cracked. Lost control for a bit and broke down, before putting the pieces back together. It’s not functional to keep being that high strung all the time. A Hazel who is terrified of herself, who won’t touch other people because her mother would say things like “you ruin everything you touch”. A Hazel who has to address and unpack the trauma from being a young child forced to care for her bad mother, dealing with her own problems and coping with her literal death. That’s way too much for a 14 year old to handle and be as stable as she is. Especially after getting thrown back into the mortal world.

A leo who has to fight the urge to run away. He’s been running for so long, when things get bad on the Argo he runs down and packs a bag. And he goes to run because he learned he just makes things worse, no one wants him and they’ll all be better if he just leaves. But this time someone stops him. Percy is there and he helps Leo because he’s been there before. And Percy doesn’t try to trap him there, if he needs to go he needs to go. But he lets him know that he’s valued here and this isn’t a place he needs to run anymore. Leo who finally feels safe for the first time in years who silently goes back downstairs and unpacks his bag. He sits silently and cries on his bed because he feels SEEN. A Piper who struggled more with her sexuality!!! I would have loved to see the POV of a child of Aphrodite who thinks she might like girls too. Piper who isn’t Just “Jason and Piper” or “Leo and Piper” but Is just PIPER. Her character isn’t tied into everyone else’s, and is given a chance to be her own person, explore herself,

And a Jason who is his own. Not just a leader or a figurehead but just JASON. Who’s allowed to have a personality, to explore, figure out what role he wants to have. A Jason who isn’t rooted in duty anymore, but wants to live his life. Jason who lives for himself, not for other people.

But we were never going to get that, so yeah I think it was a good but tragic end to his character. Makes him more likeable, gives him a final little bit of personality before writing him out. But yeah!! Thanks for asking!

[writerofshit]

For the first like 2 months after joining the crew Jeremy was *certain* the Vagabond didn't like him or didn't trust him because every time he was just hanging out in the penthouse that mask would be staring at him constantly and he was so paranoid. The reality was V was crushing hard and usually could hide it but Jeremy always took his jacket off inside and his arms were sending Ryan into gay panic and it only became clear when he forgot his mask one day and the blush/heart eyes were evident

God, I adore 'big bad vagabond is secretly a dork with a huge crush' and I will never be over it

I imagine that at first, Ryan is in his head like 'oh god he's hot, look at those muscles. He could crush me like a tin can and I'd say thank you, what a way to go' but he can, for the most part, ignore that part of his brain.

Then they work one whole job together and Ryan is gone for him. That humor? That personality? That laugh? The fact that he obviously cares so deeply and so fiercely about the crew, the people Ryan considers family? And so quickly, too? Stick a goddamn fork in him, he's so done.

But he's still The Vagabond, and he has a Reputation™ to protect, so he leans pretty heavily on the mask. Jeremy has seen his face a handful of times, so it's not really necessary to the whole disguise thing, but. It's certainly useful to the 'I'm ever so fucked by how much I like you and how much I blush everytime you say a goddamn word to me' thing.

It comes to a head one morning when Ryan comes downstairs without his mask, and finds Jeremy in a tank top and pajama pants, leaning against the kitchen counter eating cereal. Jeremy greets him with a cheerful "Hey Ryan!" (Because even though he's terrified that Ryan hates him, he's not about to let the man know that.)

Ryan trips over a response that doesnt sound like words at all, turns bright red and all but runs back upstairs.

Jeremy goes to Jack because if anybody is gonna know what the fuck is up with Ryan, it's her. She always has all of the information on them, somehow. Super useful in situations like these, less stellar when Jeremy is drunk and trying desperately to convince her that he's 'totally taking this stake out seriously, ok, how dare you accuse me of being drunk on a rooftop!!'

But anyhow, he asks her if Ryan always resembles a tomato mixed with a high schooler giving an oral report, has he just not noticed somehow? If yes, wow, he should start paying more attention. If no, then... Why?

Jack, ever the adult of the crew, patiently explains that "it's because he likes you, you oblivious moron." Which doesnt make total sense to Jeremy (did Ryan forget the part where he used to be a goddamn model, and still could be, and Jeremy is an idiot who wears godawful color combos and a shitty cowboy hat?) But you know, Jack is smart about this shit so there must be some truth to it.

He immediately goes to Ryan (who is back to hiding behind his mask) because either Jack is wrong and they might get a laugh out of it, or Jack is right and... Well he doesn't really count on that, and doesn't bother to figure out that outcome.

Which he really should have, because yes, Ryan has been crushing on him, and now they're both blushing idiots. There's a long talk that mostly involves them tripping over their words and making surprised pikachu faces at each other. It's exactly as adorable as it sounds.

[thesugarace]

Alright

I finished HLITF season 1 for Kaga and I SWEAR TO ALL 12 ZODIAC GODS

VOLTAGE. PEAKED!!!! AT KAGA’S SEQUEL

THIS STORY IS AN ABSOLUTE 

(Early warning: minor/major spoilers and a lot of rants/fangirling/thirst etc etc all bec I just absolutely love this story and I feel the need to share this love with everyone. Also, I keep seeing everyone hating on MC in this but I actually really liked her here and so I MUST defend her)

Okay

First of all look. loOK. LOOK AT THESE CGS!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GET A HOT AND SEXY KAGA CG, A LITERALLY STEAMY ROMANTIC CG AND A BOMB AF STORY ALL FOR $3 EYE-

And oh my huedhaut dont even get me started on the story. It was absolutely on point. It has everything a HLITF story promises to have:

justice in the eyes of our straightlaced MC vs the PSD ✔️

Conflict btwn Kaga and MC precisely because of that ✔️

Our girl pulling a vanishing act bec she refused to compromise her values ✔️

the refusal of each side to back down and their love for each other TEARING THEM APART INSIDE ✔️

OUR GIRL SHOWING OFF HOW INSIGHTFUL SHE REALLY IS AND FINDING A SOLID AF LEAD ✔️

MC’S GROWTH in finding a somewhat compromise between her principles and what is required of her as a PSD detective ✔️

And of course, my absolute favourite: ANGSTY ANGSTY MY-WORLD-IS-ENDING-BECAUSE-MY-MC-IS-IN-DANGER-ANGSTY KAGA ✔️

Okay, I need to address the one thing that everyone just hates about this story en masse and it’s MC. Personally, I dont agree with her about the some parts, especially the interrogation because she did hinder an investigation and in law enforcement that is one big No-No but I do see where she’s coming from, especially with the surveillance thing and the whole copping out and literally running away to the countryside. I saw reviews abt her being completely naive but seriously, put yourself in the position of the one being spied. She’s so against it because to the suspect, what they’re doing could be harmful to him, especially so if he was innocent. I think as a person, she believes in the more publically-accepted justice - the kind of justice that everyone wants but is really very difficult to obtain.

And this is where we get to the beauty of this story. As per their MO, the PSD is ready to do whatever it takes to get the culprit even it means breaking the law. They’re desperate to get the culprit because people are actually getting hurt and the longer this guy gives them the slip, the more people are going to get hurt. Even in MSB, its been established that to the PSD, the end ALWAYS justify the means and they dont give a shit if they look like criminals for it. So this is where the conflict arises between MC and the PSD guys. For the PSD, there’s an opportunity where they might get the culprit but its illegal and for MC, what the PSD wants to do is too risky for something only based on suspicion; she wants to stay on the legal path but she has no lead whatsoever and time is not on either side. People dont seem to realise the weight of MC’s viewpoint and have a tendency to think of ‘officers doing something illegal’ as something as light as jaywalking or smt. No, these institutions have a wide reach and one misstep could bring harmful repercussions onto countless innocent people not to mention the implications of their actions on their integrity as an institution of the law and the integrity of the entire justice system. However, the PSD’s side is a lot more true to reality albeit in more complex situations: their duty beyond all else is to prevent crime and there are times when there really seems to be no way. I’ve been working in law for the past few years and this is a classic dilemma that has been simplified but quite well executed in this context. Justice is not as clear cut as the right way, the right end. The law may simply be black words on white paper but different circumstances dye it with their own colours. This is where MC is lacking. She’s like a freshman at law school - someone who truly believes in the importance of justice but actually has little idea what that actually entails. She is not entirely naive but more in a sense that she’s never been confronted with these kind of complex high-stakes situations (she worked in a police box before this for Ichthys’s sake) and that inexperience disables her from seeing and evaluating the entire situation from the PSD’s pov. For her, its like playing poker for the first time and she’s already betting with the million dollar chips.

The second thing I REALLY must defend her in is the whole quitting from the academy. For the love of Zyglavis, she did NOT run away just because Kaga told her she’s not suited for PSD, it was just the trigger. Lemme put it in a different scenario (btw this scenario is not meant to mirror the situation, its only meant to evoke how MC felt in the story) Imagine you live in a city and you and your significant other are living together. A pandemic has struck your city but everyone refuses to wear a mask and the government is even encouraging people not to wear a mask. You know that wearing a mask slows down the spread of the virus and you are trying to convince people to wear one but they just ignore you. The number of cases is dropping and people think its because they dont wear masks unlike other cities but you know that people should still wear masks or the numbers might spike. So you try to convince everyone to wear a mask and people start berating you for being so stupid as to believe that masks will slow down the spread of the virus when the numbers are dropping without the city wearing them. You go home and your significant other berates you for forcing other people to wear a mask and says ‘since you wanna wear a mask so badly, get out of my house and move out of town’ That’s what it felt like for MC: the absolute frustration + sadness from the rejection of what she truly believes in by the people she’s surrounded by. Time and time again in the story, she’s confronted with the fact that the justice she believes in is not the justice PSD serves. For someone who is working towards joining the PSD, that has to be killing her inside every time. It just serves as a reminder that she is not suited for PSD nor is she what PSD wants in a detective, something she has been struggling with since MS1 but she perseveres perhaps because of her dream to become a detective or because of her aspirations to someday be Kaga’s equal or at least be someone he considers he can rely on. I really believe it’s the second one, after all, it was his rejection of her that really broke her inside and finally convinced her to quit. That’s why if you buy the ending set, you’ll see in the extra stories that Kaga gets extremely angry AT HIMSELF that MC quit the academy. He knows that our persistent Kappa doesnt give up so easily, not even when he scolded her for ruining his interrogation. Its because all these factors built up and he was the one to push her over her limit. So yes, our girl is not fragile yall. She’s just been through so much and I honestly dont blame her for leaving like one order of R&R for our MC here, she deserves it thanks. 

Okay, I need to end this soon cause its starting to get too long but what made me really love her here is the whole LIME thing. That part made love her so much because even when she quit on the academy, there’s still a fire inside her to do what it takes to achieve justice, even if it meant relying on the people she didnt agree with. Even when she was so broken inside believing that she’s not one of them, she’s not needed by them, she’s not worthy of helping them; she just wants to help!

IM SO FREAKING SOFT FOR HER BECAUSE THIS GIRL WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IS STILL FIGHTING IN HER OWN WAY AND JKASHFHASKJHAKSHKJHGA BRB CRYING

ALSO 

THAT BLOODY PHONE CALL OH MY FREAKING SCORPIO THAT PHONE CALL. I died when he told her that quitting is not an excuse to leave his side. THESE TWO EYE-

Okay, you have to read that phone call scene from both sides because then you’ll see how much these two are being stubborn because they still dont accept the other’s pov abt the case but at the same time how much they love and miss each other is gnawing at them inside AND THEYRE STRUGGLING TO HOLD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK WHEN THEY HEAR EACH OTHERS’ VOICES OVER THE PHONE FREAKING KRIOFF TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading season 1 for Kaga, especially because of his MC - I see her actually growing from the small police box officer to a PSD cadet and the sequel, especially, shows promise in how she’s going to navigate the world of law enforcement and facing difficult choices. Our girl really decided to return to the academy without finding a proper middle ground between her values and what PSD requires of her but she showed determination to work on it so I really hope we get to see more of that in later seasons. Also, WHIPPED Kaga is my fav but soft Kaga is up there as well. MC SAYING HE SOUNDED SAD OVER THE PHONE AND HER TEARING UP I CANT. THESE TWO ARE BAD FOR MY HEART.

Okay, Im not sure what I’ll be reading next. I kinda wanna start on his season 2 but considering how amazing this season is for Kaga, Im really curious abt the other characters so I might start on them before starting any season 2s. Also, idk if I would make these long argumentative-ish essays a thing but just idk why, my brain is really good at spewing essays out when it comes to HLITF and I think its fuelled by the panic from all my unfinished work so yay 

Thanks for reading!!!

[aceldrake]

Why wont he love me?

Im standing in the kitchen. My back is straight, and I'm chewing on my thumbnail. I do that a lot, chew on my nail until I bleed. The sting is a distraction. A small distraction. nothing can dull out the sense of dread that spreads through my entire body. numbing my nerve endings. This happens every day, at a half past 4 .Me standing in the kitchen trying not to panic. Because it means I have one hour. 60 minuets to myself before he pulls into the driveway. 60 minuets before the garage door hums into life and begins its slow decent upwards. 60 mins before he walks across the garage, opens the door and steps into the house. Our house...No. His house. It's his. Everything is his. He doesnt allow me to stake claim to anything. Everything is his. 60 mins to enjoy the calm and peace. 60 mins left of the kids being happy and content. 1 hour of pain free, anxiety free, solitude. 1 hour before my husband come's home. I hate it when he's home. He's tired and annoyed, and if I dont have a hot meal on the table....and I wont...hes going to be angry. He's always angry. I think my mere presence pisses him off. The way I look, or maybe the way I don't look...shit. I knew he'd notice the 3 pounds I put on over the holiday's... the way I talk...he hates me. I dont know why. I cant figure out why he cant stand me. I'm his wife, shouldn't he love me? take care of me? protect me? But he doesn't. hes the most painful part of my life. He gets off on hurting me. And I deserve it, I think? Im not sure, Honestly. He says I do but he never tells me WHY I deserve it. Just that I do and ive just started believing it. Maybe its true, maybe its not. but there is no point in arguing with him about it. That just makes him even more upset, which just makes it hurt that much more. Better to just clench my teeth take it and pretend it didnt happen. Bruises fade, bones heal. Cuts and scrapes scab over and eventually disappear. The scars hes left...at least the physical ones...are easy enough to tuck out of site. The lies I tell myself and others flow freely from my tongue, and eventually I can convince myself that they are, in fact, truths. I love him, thats all that matters, right? Thats the only thing that is important. I love him. I've always loved him. I can love enough for the both of us. My affection and constant, unwavering loyalty makes up for everything. I'ts my fault. I should have hugged him tighter. Kissed him harder, deeper. With more passion. I shouldn't have faked that orgasm...or at the very least, I should have been more convincing. It's my body, not his performance thats the problem. He's good in bed...amazing. Hes never not been able to satisfy his partner....its my fault. Silly me, of course its my fault.

A toddlers shriek of excitement makes me jump. I glance at the clock...five thirty...my mouth goes dry. Oh god. Hes home. I stare out the front window and my blood goes cold. His red car is in the driveway. Hes still seated in the drivers seat, head bent. Hes on his phone, probably telling Her to give him a few personal minuets and then , Yes. She can come over. At least when shes here he only hurts me with his words. Thats a small comfort. Im frantically hurrying around the living room, trying to clean, trying to tidy up the mess the babies have left in the living room. Stupid. How could I lose track of time. The house has to be clean before hes home. Its a requirement. His requirement. The door opens. I freeze. I hear him scuff.  He takes off his cover. His boots....Pulls his belt out of the loops and toss it over the arm of the couch. The same routine every day. Come in. Strip in the laundry room, so his uniform can be freshly washed before work the next morning. I remain in the front room, still on my knees, hand froze over the toy bin.

Hes mad. Hes pissed. I can hear it in the way hes banging around the laundry room. Is he mad at me, or was work just particularly rough today...Ether way, im paying the price for it. I quickly take stock of my body....flexing muscles. Legs are sore...left arm fine. Right arm still throbbing from two days ago. My head will probably be fine, but I guess it depends on how rough he is. Maybe a concussion or hopefully, if im lucky, it will just be ringing in my ears and a headache. I take a deep breath and stand. My hands fist nervously at my side.

I walk around the corner and my words die in my throat. The expression on his face says everything. He glares at me and goes to the fridge, opens it, and pulls out a beer. My blood is ice inside my veins. White noise in my ears. I turn, grab my babies and hurry them upstairs. My hands shake and I drop the ROKU remote twice before I can get the TV working and a cartoon playing. I raise the volume as high as their little ears can handle, and hope that its loud enough. I kiss their sweet, innocent little faces, my lips tremble but I fight back the rising panic. I close the door behind me, swear under my breath when I hear my sons soft voice cry out in protest and his sister plead with me to stay. I close my eyes and bite down on my lower lip. I hate doing it, but it has to be done. For their safety. I lock the door. Effectively sealing them inside the master bedroom. If they are locked behind a door, they wont see it. They wont see what I know is about to happen. They wont get in the way, and he wont hurt them. I dont think he would ever intentionally hurt them, but accidents happen and I'm not willing to take that risk. I would never really know if it was an accident or not. Cant risk that.  I stand at the top of the stairs. I force my mouth into a smile and make my legs move. My home is a nightmare. My husband hates me. And I dont know why.

[blackjacketmuses]

hc; poe 3

Bibliography

Poe has written nine mystery novels between the ages of 13 and 22 --- they’re very popular and sell very well, usually near the top of the best-sellers list in the mystery genre, and he makes a good bit of money of the royalties. 

The books star a detective named Benjamin Lapin, an amateur mystery writer just out of university with a fascination with the occult and a brilliant mind, able to see things a way most others can’t and pick up on things others dismiss. He’s friendly and cheerful and charming, a bit too eager to discuss his interests, and a bit unable to understand what’s not appropriate to talk about cheerily (ie gory murder details); but he can get serious when it comes time for the reveals, and he has a very strong sense of justice. He doesn’t have any assistants, but the main police officer he works with, the stiff and uptight but honorable Detective Pym, is a recurring character, as is the mysterious woman named Annalise.

The mysteries themselves are always incredibly well-written, tight, and very clever, with no room for any plot holes or errors. There’s always a last minute twist and a shocking reveal that seems out of nowhere, but when the mystery is explained, one can look back and see every single clue was there the whole time, and an attentive reader can catch and figure out the mystery perfectly well, even before Lapin himself. In his later books, starting with the third, he begins to incorporate mild supernatural elements that don’t detract or ruin the mystery, but add an layer of intrigue and something to think about once the book is over, whether or not it really was supernatural, as a rational explanation is given and it’s up to the reader to choose whether or not to believe.

The books are as follows:

The Black Theatre -- Rumors have begun to spread that a local theatre is cursed, given two people have died there mysteriously, so Lapin --- curious about this curse more than anything --- goes to visit, and a third death happens while he’s there. Drawn into the mystery at that point, especially when the detective on the case seems to think they’re just accidents, Lapin ends up uncovering an old scandal that had remained buried for a decade and reveals that the killer is the cleaning man, who had had an affair with a popular actress who was tormented for her fame and killed herself. The cleaning man kills himself on stage when caught out, to join her, but the mystery is solved and Lapin and Pym become friends.

The Town of Clocks -- Lapin is called out to an old college friend’s wedding, to a town in the middle of nowhere, and it seems the town is very odd, as there are clocks on nearly every surface available, all telling the same (incorrect) time. Apparently it’s tradition, and the friend has no idea where it began. The father of the groom, however, is murdered horrifically, and so the investigation begins. The clues as more people die begin to point towards Lapin’s friend, but in the end the twist comes in that it was his fiancee (whom he had not met until now) the whole time...or was it? She in turn reveals that she is not the fiancee, but someone else, and the real fiancee is, in fact, the killer --- seeking to reveal the grisly truth behind the clocks. After the chaos of the reveal, the false fiancee (a woman named Annalise) disappears with some important documents, fascinating Lapin, but the mystery is solved.

The Ninth Circle -- It’s winter, and Lapin heads up to a mansion-style vacation hotel in the mountains for some time to write. His trip coincides with a theatre troupe’s visit to the same hotel to practice their next play. They get snowed in, and murders start to happen during the blizzard. Whispers start circulating among the guests that it’s the doing of a local legend, an evil monster that lurks in the mountains to hunt prey, and at first it seems that’s the only option, given some of the inexplicable circumstances of the murders. However, it turns out to be one of the troupe members, using the legend to their advantage to take revenge on the leader of the troupe by taking everything away from him. The mystery is solved, though it’s left a little ambiguous how some of the finer details of the murder were committed, and maybe some of it was supernatural, after all. (Hint hint ability user hint.)

The Witch’s Island -- Lapin is dragged along by another old college friend to an island off the coast, where a treasure hunt is occurring for what’s said to be a stockpile of gold. The guests are all rather eccentric, and it’s revealed that the clues to the treasure’s whereabouts are hidden in a vaguely creepy old nursery rhyme. The rhyme gets creepier when people start to die in ways relating to it, and it’s linked to the legend of a witch on the island, who was burnt at the stake for reasons involving the treasure. Eventually, though, one of the so-called treasure hunters is revealed as the culprit, a self-proclaimed descendant of the witch trying to clear her name and reveal the true story, but also protecting the treasure from any who dare try to take it. During the climax, one of the other treasure hunters is revealed to be Annalise, and it’s implied that she made off with some of the treasure, or at least the monetary part of it, as the rest is not what it had been implied to be, being something only valuable in sentimental terms. It’s never determined either way whether the so-called witch really was a witch or not, however.

The Schoolyard Murders -- Detective Pym requests Lapin’s help on a personal matter; his niece, Madeline, a high school girl, goes to a school in which there has been a murder. Lapin agrees to assist him, and the two go to investigate the school. Almost all the students insist that it’s the ghost of a boy who killed himself decades ago, the school’s legend, because the school is trying to tear down the old building where he died. During the investigation, a few more people die, and a very strange black cat is seen on the premises, that people think is an ill omen. Eventually, however, it comes to light that a teacher is murdering the students who had stumbled across an innocuous thing in the old building that ends up proving the student had not killed himself, but was killed by the same teacher for discovering his illicit relationship with another student, and now the teacher is trying to cover it up. In the end the case is solved, and it seems that the cat had been helpful after all, as it wanders off into the old building and seems to vanish after having helped reveal the damning clue.

An Ancient Curse -- One of Lapin’s favorite teachers, also a famous archaeologist, invites him to the opening of an exhibit of a bunch of artifacts he’d discovered on a dig in Africa. The exhibit goes well, but after hours, the teacher is killed, and the camera footage shows that it seems as if it were some kind of ancient spirit that did it. The staff flies into a panic, but Lapin, fascinated and excited, dives right into the mystery. Several more members of the archaeological team are killed, and it seems like there really is a curse, or that the foreign member of the team is doing it as revenge for the artifacts’ ‘theft’, but in the end, it is revealed that the head of the museum is committing the murders and intending to frame the foreign team member and use the entire incident as a publicity stunt. He is arrested, but at the end it is revealed he died in custody, seemingly of a heart attack over the stress of the ordeal, but...was that really it?

The Siren’s Call -- A college friend of Lapin’s, a reporter, calls him telling him excitedly that he has a big scoop on something strange happening in a coastal town, a clue to a big mystery, but then something happens and the call is cut off. Concerned, Lapin heads out to the town in time for them to find his friend’s drowned body. The town doesn’t seem to like outsiders, but he finds a friend in the innkeeper and his teenage son Ernest, who tells him that a lot of people end up drowned around here, and they say its because of the nasty currents around the beach. But there’s also a legend of a sea monster in the caves beneath the town. As Lapin investigates, he discovers that the whole town believes in the sea monster, the Siren Mother, and treat her as a local deity, and the deaths are sacrifices to her. Ernest, too young to know about this, helps Lapin investigate further, and they discover beneath the town a large cavern with the mummified body of a woman, as well as Lapin’s friend’s bag, in which there is evidence that the town’s founder murdered a local native woman over land disputes and fabricated the Siren Mother to cover it up and control his people. The current mayor/leader of the ‘cult’ knows this, and he’s the one who killed Lapin’s friend to hide it. He shows up in the cavern, and during the struggle, both he and Ernest fall into the water. Somehow, however, Ernest survives, and he swears he heard someone humming a lullaby as they pushed him out of the water. There is no proof of that, though, and it’s written off as luck, and in the end, Ernest’s father becomes the new mayor, and the secrets are all revealed. It will take a while for the town to readjust, but Ernest and his father are willing to try.

The Red Death -- Lapin is shocked one day when Annalise appears on his doorstep, inviting him to a party at a very rich art collector’s house, implying both that she intends to steal something and that something worse might happen. Intrigued, he accepts her invitation, and they go together to the party. At the party, one of the major guests dies of a ‘strange illness’, and a murder case begins. Lapin and Annalise investigate, more guests die, and it’s uncertain whether or not it’s poison or something else, exacerbated by the mysterious man in a red coat seen around the mansion. It turns out that it is poison, the daughter of a painter who was exploited by the collector to make counterfeits taking revenge on those who abused her father. She takes her own life with the poison and jumps off the balcony, but her body is not there, and the man in the red coat is seen vanishing into the forest. Her body is found later on, laid out in the collector’s gallery beneath her father’s real paintings, with a red coat over her like a shroud. The man is never found, and Annalise does make off with a painting, but not before she says farewell to Lapin and disappears, seemingly into thin air.

The Circus Act -- Lapin goes with Pym and Madeline to a circus, and at the magician’s show, the festivities are interrupted when one of the acrobats dies in the middle of the show. An investigation begins, then, and it’s not long before a web of deceit and affairs and secrets come to light that makes it so that almost everyone has a motive for everyone else’s death. A few more people die, all in ways befitting their act in the circus, and the surviving acrobat, Berenice, fears that she is next. Lapin is in her room investigating when the killer attacks him and nearly kills him, and he wakes up bound and gagged in a box during the magician’s magic show, and realizes the magician himself is the killer. He barely survives the trick he’s stuck in, and at the climax of the show bursts out of the box to accuse the killer. The magician tries to kill Berenice, motivated by an obsession with her, and chases her up into the top of the circus tent. He tries to grab her, but falls off of the platforms above and dies. Berenice was nowhere near him, but insists that he was pushed, and wonders if it was her partner’s ghost protecting her. Either that, or he fell. Lapin is taken to the hospital, still wounded, and in addition to the get well presents from Pym and Madeline, a single rose finds its way to his hospital room with a tag reading ‘From A’.

[johnnythirteenguns]

just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take! 

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

[theanatomyletter]

here is a perfectly sane response to the climate emergency

Right so like 3 days ago once everyone found out a couple weeks too late that the literal amazon rainforest is on fire I went into a sort of anxiety/depressive spiral and it was terrifying!!! I was scared and shocked out of doing anything and kept thinking of all the bad things that are happening and how we are all going 2 die and kept thinking of how to make more ppl understand that climate destruction is part of the same racist project as white imperialism and I’m !!! Stressed !! And I was scared and freaked out!!! I remember as a kid one of my favourite things ever was the book Journey To The River Sea by Eva Ibbotson and I s2g that book made me a person it taught me so many things about what it means to love a place and to be alive in the world and how to sustain a sense of self and community in meaningful connection with that it means to be alive and here and breathing and it’s a book about the rainforest and the river and so I’ve just been,, thinking of it a lot, little blue butterfly from the cover floating thru my brain and all that. It’s hard!!! I thought I was afraid of not saving/earning enough money to do a masters next year but I was actually afraid of the consequences of the climate emergency. Pay more attention to your emotions and honour them for what they are and figure out what is at stake for you, what does it make you feel that the world is in crisis. I think that’s important

Depressing chat aside after I panicked and felt radicalised (what does that even mean?) I found this twitter thread which was basically like these are all the terrible things that can happen and here is how we stop them and at first I felt SO SCARED because there’s NO WAY we can actually organise mass strikes at this scale!!!! We have never had to organise at this scale before, I panicked and got really scared and went on a rant about how we have to use existing structures to fix things because we don’t have the time or resources to organise at this scale but like. I now think we actually do, I found this resource for organising strikes globally from 20TH TO 27TH SEPTEMBER and like, we have the Internet and we have a month to plan and prepare and if you are able to strike you absolutely should !!!!!! There are people smarter than me speaking to the urgency of this, I’m just having some feelings and writing this on my phone notes, but like. Read about strikes in your area. If there aren’t any, find resources to help organise one. Text your friends your colleagues your family whatsapp group the people you went to school with, spread the word and organise how you will sustain your community in that time

As a side note after I went on panic rants all over my social media I think I realised that terrifying people into frenzied action won’t work because it’ll often just scare them into inaction (that’s what it did to me) and I felt better only once I found that resource for actual organisation, the mass general strike felt like an impossible project until I found out it’s already being planned. So like, don’t be helplessly scared, we have multiple years to fix things, and I think this is important: REMEMBER TO BE ALIVE AND HERE AND BREATHING, it’s important to actually feel the absolute miracle that is consciousness otherwise all of the saving the world will have been for nothing. Take photos of your friends and give hugs to your pets and get drunk and go dancing and remember that what matters is that feeling of being so achingly alive and aware of your existence in the world when you look at the sky and feel dizzy with how small you are and how yet the whole universe is inside of your brain, remember to breathe and feel glorious and loud and bright and reckless.

On that note, I was having a hard time giving a shit about much but I copped on a bit after I talked to my friend Naoise Dolan (buy her book it is out soon !!!) I felt like calmer and more like I was allowed to enjoy things and write things (that’s why I finally pulled it together enough to do this) and so I LISTENED TO THE NEW TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM ON REPEAT and I’ve decided I love it, here is my ranking of all its songs from worst to best, I have so many thoughts, the lyrics are golden, I’m so happy to be alive in the world at a time we can make things better and listen to music like this that’s tailor made (sorry) for us to forget about any guilt we may feel from bopping to boardroom produced songs about corporate feminism

18. Miss Americana and whoever the fuck

Idk what this obsession is with high school motifs (shout out Mike Dolan for pointing this out) like it’s just weird for a 29 yr old to use school as a metaphor for her love life. The “you win stupid prizes” bit sounds nice though. It’s like a low-key creepy obsessive song like why is she doing that funny voice? Is it meant to sound vaguely haunted? What’s going on

I’m also just tired of “America” (the white kind) as a cultural construct and it being used as an expression of identity in popular culture like we get it you built a nationalism out of “gas stations” and “hallways” and “whatever” but you’re still racist, Stop. Like it’s just an inherently violent construct and nobody white is reckoning with it responsibly so at least maybe stop romanticising it or just shut up. Heck yea I’m reading too much into this. I do what I want

17. You Need to Calm Down

This song is bad. It’s so bad. The lyrics are pointless, the ohoHHHH is annoying, her voice is irritating, it’s also just gross and patronising and tries to do twelve things at once (are we leading a parade to pat ourselves on the back for telling homophobes to “take several seats” or are we saying we “all have crowns” wtv that means?)

This song is actually just gross and it doesnt even SOUND GOOD

16. ME

It’s less problematic than you need to calm down and that’s the only reason it’s slightly less bad. It’s a garbage song idk why it exists i’m so mad at it

15. Paper rings

IM SORRY tHe mOoN is HIGH like your friends were the night that we first met I’m sorry WHAT miss swift we get it you have been near drugs, Jesus CHRIST this song is a juvenile childish self important mess. The lyrics r awful and her voice is sneaky and weird and she does weird noises and the chorus is dumb like the “uhuh that’s right” makes me want to give CHITTAR. Also she says darling WAY too much in this album like we get it you’re dating a Brit. It’s not The Worst song because if you pay zero attention to the lyrics or her voice it’s kind of fine sounding? It’s so bad tho lol, I remember when she wrote Mine and the video came out I was like wow wild this is weird and adult and why are you pregnant but this one is even MORE weird. I also HATE every time she says dreary mondays and “baby boy” (GROSS) and I hate that she keeps repeating it lol. The I hate accidents line is kind of fine

14. I forgot that you existed

I hate the lyrics and I hate the premise (we get it you’re indifferent that’s why you wrote a whole song about it) BUT it’s such a bop, it’s very /this feels like a perfect night to make fun of our exes/ vibes and I would be LYING if I said I didn’t enjoy that. Yes we exists

We are pretending her fake laughter and starting to talk in the middle of songs things isn’t real though. It wasn’t cute in we are never ever etc and isn’t cute now

13. I think he knows

I love the 16th avenue bit, it fills me with giddy happiness, the rest of the song is shit, and also lazy. Also stop being obsessed with being 17, it was weird in starlight and is weird now

The bridge is also sort of nice but not nice enough to redeem the rest of it

12. London Boy

Im sorry I promise I know this song is bad. It is bad. I hope it’s ironic? But it’s bad. It’s a weird colonialism complex fetishisation of posh brit whiteness and its even more gross when it’s like “btw IM american, DOUBLE whiteness”, it’s icky and bad. It is a bad song. I apologise for enjoying it and I promise I am ashamed but also u know what, if you ignore the lyrics entirely and pretend you’re 15 and un-enlightened about the violence inherent to the fetishisation of an english identity……….maybe a fun tune. I know. I know. I am sorry. I promise I enjoy it only ironically

11. The man

Corporate white lady feminism? With the word HUSTLE in it? In this economy? Yes obviously

The lyrics are a bit ehhhh but some of them are quite clever and I think she’s quite honest in this song in a rare sort of way without trying to exaggerate it for shock value and it’s a very like, this is my life, here you go, sort of tune, it doesn’t do anything for women’s rights but I think it sounds nice and is probably fun to dance to, and “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man” and “if I were a man, I’d be the man” are fUN lines !!! Idk how wild this comparison is but like, I feel this song is trying to deal with similar things as I know places (a very privileged rant, if you will, without much self awareness) but I think The Man does it better because it’s less self important and has less ambition about it solving or expressing the world’s worst problems.

10. False God

Ok, so, what is it with the religious motifs in this album, i don’t get it, though it kinda works a lot in this song? I wanted to rank this higher but after a few listens it got slightly grating, the beginning is a bit unecessary too? Like it’s trying to create this weirdly artificial aura of glamour and sophistication, it’s quite an unnerving and haunting song and I quite like that about it and it makes me a bit surprised and startled. This thing she’s doing with like slow, building, repeating tunes i think has worked the best in this song (we might just, get away with this, religion’s in your lips e-,ven if its a False gOd) also, THE ALTAR’S IN MY HIPS, OOF, the chorus does the trick honestly and i love when she’s like slightly laughing but in a wry sort of way. Love it tbh, something about it just makes me a bit stressed though and not in an intentional way (i think)

9. It’s Nice To Have a Friend

Miss taylor who gave you the RIGHT, to shove your hand into my chest and grab my heart and step all over it. I love it and it makes me cry and it’s so soft and sweet. Zero complaints abt it it’s a beautiful song. There r just MULTIPLE EXTREMELY GOOD SONGS that’s why it’s not like my absolute fav and im confused too as to why it’s so low but like. Idk. it is a very soft and sweet song. I love it. If anything maybe it’s a bit uncreative n lazy but i think that’s slightly on purpose so doesn’t rlly constitute a criticism

8. Death by a thousand cuts

I like this song a lot a lot. The lyrics are SO GOOD IM SO HAPPY SHES DOING GOOD LYRICS AGAIN. I love the “one for the agEs” line and i’m generally a slut for any mention of chandeliers in music or poetry (dont ask), her voice is delicate but proud and wild and i’m a fan, honestly, cannot wait to bop to this. The My my my bit is annoying tho

7. The archer

I HATE the bit where she says CoMbAt but otherwise this song is soft and lovely and gentle and I love it !!!!! I love the lyrics and I love her gentle restraint of how she slowly unfurls them and then let’s go in “help me hold onto you”, there is such a commanding frankness to it, it’s an ask for collaboration, an ask for honesty, an ask for I want to do this with you

I think it’s one of the strongest tracks lyrically and she also shows like great skill vocally which has been annoyingly missing from so much of what she’s recently produced. I feel like there’s a bunch of annoying stylistic choices (the they see right thru me bit is grating) but like the song overall is lovely, I think you can feel in her voice she knows she’s created something good and it’s not the usually insufferable IM A GENIUS vibe. WHO COULD EVER LEAVE ME DARLING, BUT WHO COULD STAY !!!

6. Soon you’ll get better

Made me cry. We’re not talking about this one

5. Lover

This song is soft loving, slow whispers, careful realisations that you can build a life with whatever you like and love will save everything, I love it, I love it I love it I love it, “can I go where you go?” moves me to tEARS it is such a soft and gentle expression of care, it is such a kindness, it’s such surrendering, such reckless care, I love it so much, it’s so hopeful and also sure, it’s so frightful but also unafraid. I think this is one of Taylor’s most earnest songs ever and it does the thing of combining that earnestness with brazen daring that doesn’t turn into embarrassment only because she commands her lyrics with such certainty, and that’s rare and often I think that daring has ended badly for her (LOL most of reputation) but here it’s done so beautifully and w so much happiness and LOVE, this song is truly just a beautiful lil piece of art with so much happiness dripping thru it

4. Cornelia Street

This song. This SONG. It builds up so beautifully with this ever so slightly hesitant fascination with its own emotions, i’m so obsessed with it, the lyrics are lovely and perfect, i was expecting it to feel slightly forced and oddly specific because wtf is a cornelia street anyway, but it WORKS. I think it wants me to think of like a glowy streetlighty street and it DOES THAT, “filling in the blanks as we gooooo” sounds so gorgeous and does that thing with her voice which literally is just showing off that Yes She Does Know How To Sing and it’s so certain and sure and restrained and open and bare (again in “i thought you were leading me onnnnn”). Also, “the city screams your name” should be a tired cliche but its just an excited expression of abandon im,, in love. The song is so shaky and uncertain but completely confident and relaxed at the same time and it FEELS EXACTLY LIKE COMING TO TERMS WITH BEING IN LOVE AND WANTING IT TO LAST FOREVER, also like, when did she learn how to write good bridges again because yEs

3. Daylight

Solely for the lines “i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye // i don’t want to look at anything else now that i saw you” she deserves a grammy it actually pierces my emotions and makes me want 2 explode, this song is sooooo lovely and it has the vibe that makes me feel like i’ve already heard it years ago (but maybe thats because ive had the album on repeat 2 days straight) but it’s just,,, very good and it feels like sunset and glitter and i think is a perfect ending to a great album i love how it builds intensity and then strips it down and just,,, love it.

2. Afterglow

This is i think, one of the most beautiful things this woman has ever produced, one of the loveliest and most powerful songs ever made, i love it so very much. She finally learnt how to do autotune properly lol, this song is like, a crescendo of emotion, everything is falling down around it and it’s like a little haven of bare, frank honesty and complete surrender, of complete vulnerability, the whole song sounds like an act of care and an act of expressing pure emotion, it’s so gorgeous. It moves so softly and doubles in on itself and she’s sorry and sad but so proud of this love and so certain of its importance, “i’m the one who burnt us down”, it’s such a zooming in on a very specific emotion and it’s done so well, i love it

1. Cruel summer

I LOVE THIS SONG. I LOVE THIS SONG. The lyrics are flighty and exciting and shivery, WHAT DOESNT KILL ME MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE- plug that shit into my VEINS. This song makes me feel like it’s 2015 and nothing is real yet and I’m living inside a YA novel and my biggest problem is my crush being mean to me and I’m RELISHING in that freedom and indulging every last drop of emotion because being alive and paying attention to it is incredible and Extremely Cool Actually (I DONT WANT TO KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU, dead right gal)

That said. Organise for the climate strike. Read up on what’s going on so you can answer questions in your family whatsapp group. Field those conversation, DO THAT EMOTIONAL LABOUR (again, what even), spread the word. But take care of yourself !!!! Listen to Taylor swift and remember that we are an absolute joke of a species, we went to the MOON, we can do this, I love you