#but the sad girl autumn version really tears you apart

[planetsandthefates]

i don’t think we’ve comprehended the fact that taylor somehow managed to make all too well (10 minute version) 100x more emotional with the sad girl autumn version like!!!!!!! im going to die actually this song was already so fucking emotionally powerful and she made it that much more so with merely a piano. i just.

[youknowwhoiamperiod]

sweet girl ariel, i hope you're doing well!! i'm bringing you some shells and bits of coral as offerings, as well as some nosy questions:

how do you and jason part with summer? are there any special traditions you guys have? and what are your favourite things to do in fall, both by yourself and with him?

if jariel was a season, which do you think you guys would be?

and if you went on a holiday abroad, where would you guys choose to go? what would be on the itinerary?

all my love <3333

aurore sweetheart!! taking your little offering so delicately and cherishing it forever :((( i've had by far the roughest week this year but!! trying to stay positive!! (tearing my shirt like that wolf pic or wtv) i hope you're doing well angel <333

oof parting with summer for him is probably the best time of the year, jason's totally the type to hate warm weather and can't handle heat. fall/winter are probably his favourite seasons so he's definitely having an amazing transition which is NOT my case at all. summer's my fav ever :(( parting with it is so sad and i hate hate hate the cold weather. we're literal polar opposites but i think he'd still feel super bad for me so he'd take me for one last trip to the beach, one last long midnight drive, a full pool day at the manor and an ice cream date!!!

we do have a couple of traditions with fall!! it's when uni starts, so i like to think that in an au where we both attend it we'd start going on study dates in libraries or just go on week ends to read together (i find that libraries tend to become even warmer and cozier during autumn). we'd also start going on more and more coffee and restaurant dates. during colder days or rainy ones we cuddle together under warm blankets and have a period movies/shows marathon. but my favourite (and most self indulgent one) is the fact that my birthday is during fall (i like to think it's the main reason why he loves it sm :,) )... so he takes it very seriously and makes the most of it, to the point that if i mention my hatred for it and how i'd rather not have a big celebration he genuinely gets offended. i know that he's cooking up something for me when i hear him blasting red (taylor's version), this is what it feels like or hozier, he says it's so he can get into the mood and get inspired lol. during the "happy" day he wakes me up with midnights because that's MY album like taylor literally dropped it on my day so it's a gift so it's mine. (and he also really likes it) (he won't admit it tho). we'd also do halloween!! it's my fav holiday and even if it's not as celebrated as it used to be we still do. we definitely buy themed decorations for our apartment and even go pumpkin craving. some years i succeed in convincing him to attend a friend's party but we only stay for 3 hours max because we get horny halfway through it and need to get back home asap. but we never miss the halloween mini gathering at the manor where we have dinner and spend the night telling stupid spooky stories or playing one of those detective games (all the guys are (un)surprisingly bad at it, for top tier daily detectives)

sunnie kind of beat you to this question i've already answered it here hahah!! but to keep it short. if jariel were to fit in a trope it'd ennemies to friends to lovers , so it's very much winter slowly turning into spring vibes. we're very moody, so we go back and forth between cold and warm, sometimes we want each other's head on a spike and 5 minutes later we're giving each other head, but we know our banter is most of the time never that serious.

aaaaaah this question is so interesting because i love the concept of exploring new places with different traditions and cultures but i actually hate travelling lawl. it makes me so nostalgic. but i think that in this case he's the living version of home so i'd be more than happy to go anywhere!! we're both from different countries so i'd very much enjoy it if he took me anywhere in the us. in this universe i'd probably been there multiple times but i'd still love to experience it with him, plus he probably knows some niche spots i don't. then i'd take him to my home country morocco, he'll probably complain about it at first because of how hot it is but he'll adjust to it lol. and i love the beaches there so he's in for a ride. i think he'd enjoy it a lot once i take him to museums and historical sites. or just having moroccan tea and some dinner with my mom is enough fun for him. but i'd also sooo enjoy going on a european tour with him. i live in france now so i'd bring him here too. 100% taking him to paris even if it's much more dangerous and less friendly than it looks but. still paris. we're going on multiple dates there and what better place to get him more into french literature. but i'd also love to visit italy or greece with him. actually i'd love to go anywhere as long as it's with him.

thank you so so so much for sending this aurore i had so much fun thinking about these questions and answering them!!! nosy questions are the best ever love you so much sending you so much kisses mwah <333

[starkerotic]

i melt in your mouth, girl, not in your hands. [part 1]

[based on the stress-baking prompt from this au post.]

If anyone had asked Bucky only three years before, he never would have thought that he would eventually end up here, back in the same apartment complex from his youth - updated and much more expensive than the fifty dollars or so he remembers Steve’s mother fretting over so many times before she died, his own mother patting Sarah’s frail hands as she reassured her that everything would work out in the end, but very much the same.

(It’s… comforting, in a way he’s not felt since he went off to The War, pride in his heart and fear buried deep below, his mother’s tears wet on his cheek and the warmth of Steve’s farewell - or, at least, see you soon, as it turned out - hug still surrounding him, his heart beating strong, as quick as a hummingbird’s wings, as he boarded the bus and sat with the other men ready to lay their lives on the line for their country and their god and their loved ones.)

“Buck! Open up, I’ve got pizza!”

New floors, news appliances, new owners… same old Steve. (Well, still a punk that picks fights too big for him, anyway.)

“If you knock down my door again, you’re explaining to Stark why he’s paying for the same damage a third time.” He doesn’t have to raise his voice much louder than his normal speaking volume. Steve’s enhanced hearing is just as good as his own - even better, perhaps; he is, after the original super soldier, while Bucky’s serum was hardly more than a diluted mimicry with a side of mind control.

Steve’s big, dumb grin greets him once the door opens, as bright and carefree and happy as Bucky remembers from before The Fall and before The War and after Bucky could hear his trigger words (longing, rusted, seventeen…) and keep his mind his own. (Once upon a time, that stupid grin would have fluttered his heart, sent his pulse a little higher, set his smile a little wider, but too many things have changed between them for Bucky to feel that same connection now.)

“I don’t think he’d mind, because it means I’m not busy-” Steve frowns, carefully setting all four pizza boxes down on Bucky’s small kitchen island. “-‘killing his vibe’.”

The pleasant aroma of chocolate chip cookies (it’s been faint all evening, but with the door open, it hits him full-force) drifts from the apartment across the hall, just like it used to when he and Steve were boys and one of their mothers (and, in one disastrous incident, Bucky’s sister) had enough spare ingredients and time to bake a baker’s dozen or two. It makes Bucky long (longing, rusted, seventeen…) for those days so far gone, when things were bad but never dismal and his mother’s soft humming and his sister’s giddy laughter rang through the halls, sweet and familiar and-

The door snaps shut, Bucky’s vibranium fingers curling over the wooden frame. It does nothing to remove the scent of the other tenant’s baking, but he feels better with the flimsy barrier.

“Buck?”

Sleek metal shines in the light as Bucky releases the frame and flexes his fist for a moment, careful to take the deep breaths his court-appointed therapist (and, god, what a joke that is, expecting him to open up to a woman with no idea of where he comes from, of what used to make him Bucky that the serum and HYDRA stole away from him) recommended in their first session. It never helps, not really (he has too much anger built up, he surmises, ready to boil and burn and destroy in all the same ways he was once ordered to by both his own government and the enemy), but he’s trying.

“Sorry,” rasps Bucky. He swallows down the sudden lump in his throat, but offers no excuse or explanation for his behavior. (He doesn’t owe anyone anything - not even Steve.)

The grin isn’t quite as wide anymore, but the blond doesn’t look like he’s readying himself to attack, so Bucky moves nearer, flesh hand reaching for the nearest box: a simple cheese with extra sauce. “Thanks,” Bucky mutters and downs half a slice in one bite, the cheese almost too hot, the sauce with the exact right consistency and flavor. The simple pie is Bucky’s (unofficial) favorite, a reminder that not everything has changed.

“Any time.” Steve stares at him for a few moments longer - long enough that Bucky’s back stiffens - but he only offers Bucky a slice of a second pizza (red peppers and ricotta and Italian sausage) before he holds up the stack of boxes he’s supporting with his left hand. “I’ve got Sorry! and Scrabble and,” he sighs, put-upon in a way only Steve Rogers can be, “Clue - the Avengers version.”

Bucky snorts, and his muddled mind clears of familiar feminine laughter and warm chocolate chip cookies.

“It’s always the Widow.”

*

(Natasha, in fact, is the culprit two times out of three. Bucky has more fun in the two hours they play, bullshitting his questions and pretending to think much too long on Steve’s when he only has one of the answers to give up, than he’s had since he first woke from his programming.)

*

Steve has been gone for at least fifteen minutes when there’s a knock at his door.

“I told you the last slice was mine when you left, punk, so don’t-”

He’s let the familiar surroundings lull him into what bit of security he can still feel because, rather than Steve on his doorstep, it’s… Well, he isn’t positive who it is, but judging by the open door across from him and the overwhelming scent of home and freshly-baked cookies, Bucky makes an assumption. “You must be the baker.” His words are gruff, but he tries to keep his tone level and as kind as he can make it without his usual scowl creeping over his face.

Perfectly rosy cheeks look to darken even further as his neighbor looks up from Bucky’s chest, surprise and awe appearing and disappearing, quick as a flash across his face. Brown eyes (they remind Bucky of autumn, of warm days and cool nights and leaves crunching along a woodland trail) widen for only a moment on the black-and-gold vibranium weapon that serves as his arm.

Bucky braces himself for a flurry of questions about the arm, the Avengers, Captain America-

“I’m sorry. Do the smells bother you?” Perfectly straight teeth, pearly white except for the slightest smudge of chocolate on the left canine, show in a nervous smile. He hides his eyes, ducking his head just enough to avoid Bucky’s, as he rambles, “I’m really sorry about that; it’s just an easy way for me to destress, I guess - ha - and I didn’t think it would be an issue with anyone because I usually bake a ton and give them to everyone in the building and-”

“It’s not a problem,” Bucky interrupts, and the other man smiles and- Wow. Bucky can’t remember ever seeing another person so delighted and… cute.

“You’re sure?” Cute Neighbor asks. His arms shift, muscles flexing just the tiniest bit as he tightens his grip around a Tupperware container in his hands.

Bucky takes a moment (two, three, four…) to soften his features, to relax his tense shoulders and look less likely to snap someone’s neck. “Positive,” he reassures and, just to see those cheeks pinken up a second time, he winks. “Reminds me of home.”

The blush comes along with another smile, bright and kind and much less big and dumb than the one Steve had greeted him with earlier, though a tinge of sadness dulls it. “Same,” he murmurs, almost to himself, before he startles and shoves the Tupperware out in front of him in an offering to Bucky - homemade cookies for the feared Winter Soldier. “Everyone else has already gotten theirs,” he tells Bucky. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t go without.”

And that’s just-

Bucky’s chest expands on a breath, holds… and releases. “Thanks, doll.” The endearment slips out like it’s nothing, as easy as it always used to back in the forties.

His neighbor only laughs, a little breathless, and says, “I’m Peter. Peter Parker,” before going on his way, blessing Bucky with one last smile before he shuts the door to his apartment.

Peter Parker.

The cookies are a small taste of whatever heaven may exist after this life, the chocolate chips melting as soon as the cookie touches his tongue, and Bucky can’t help but to hope that Peter finds himself stressed again sooner rather than later.

[i-am-finally-clean-13]

Taylor Swift Songs by Season

I don't know about you guys, but I get strong seasonal vibes from many of the Taylor Swift songs. So, since I have no life, I decided to sort all of them by the season they remind me of.

Winter:

These songs are ones I would consider cold. These songs tend to be sadder and slower than the others, and have a crisp, clean sound to them. Of the albums, the only full album that I would classify as Winter-y is Evermore.

Teardrops on My Guitar

Cold As You

Invisible

White Horse

Breathe

You're Not Sorry

Forever & Always (Piano Version)

Back To December

Last Kiss

The Last Time

I Wish You Would

Clean

So It Goes...

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

New Year's Day

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Exile

The Lakes

Champagne Problems

'Tis The Damn Season

Tolerate It

Happiness

Coney Island

Evermore

It's Time To Go

We Were Happy

Spring:

These songs tend to be happier, more optimistic and upbeat than the winter songs - but these aren't the super peppy songs, or the overwhelmingly happy songs (for the most part). I'd classify the original Fearless album and Folklore as Spring albums.

A Place in This World

Stay Beautiful

A Perfectly Good Heart

Fearless

Love Story

Hey Stephen

The Best Day

Jump Then Fall

Superstar

Mine

Speak Now

Never Grow Up

Enchanted

Ours

Superman

State of Grace

Stay Stay Stay

Everything Has Changed

Starlight

Girl At Home

All You Had To Do Was Stay

I Know Places

You Are In Love

Delicate

Dress

Call It What You Want

Lover

Death By a Thousand Cuts

London Boy

Me!

Daylight

The 1

My Tears Ricochet

Seven

Illicit Affairs

Invisible String

Willow

Long Story Short

Today Was a Fairytale

That's When

Don't You

Summer:

These songs are the ones that I'd classify as hot. The intense emotions - primarily happiness and anger. These are the super upbeat songs, the ones that you can dance to, and the majority of the big radio singles fall under this category. Of the albums, 1989, Reputation, and Lover are all Summer albums.

Mary's Song (Oh My My My)

Our Song

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

You Belong With me

Forever & Always

Change

Sparks Fly

Long Live

I Knew You Were Trouble

22

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Welcome To New York

Blank Space

Shake It Off

Bad Blood

Wildest Dreams

Wonderland

New Romantics

...Ready For It?

I Did Something Bad

Don't Blame Me

Gorgeous

King of My Heart

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

I Forgot That You Existed

Cruel Summer

The Man

I Think He Knows

Paper Rings

False God

You Need To Calm Down

The Last Great American Dynasty

Mirrorball

August

Mad Woman

Betty

Gold Rush

Dorothea

Mr. Perfectly Fine

Fall/Autumn:

These are the cool songs, falling somewhere between slow and upbeat. There is less hope in these songs than there is in the Spring and Summer songs. They frequently detail the decay of a relationship, when things are falling apart. These songs have the largest variety of emotions - and there are more songs on this list than any of the others. Of the albums, Taylor Swift (debut), Speak Now, Red, and Fearless (Taylor's Version) are the ones I'd consider autumn albums. The songs from the vault are what pushed Fearless (Taylor's Version) onto this list when the original Fearless is on the Spring list.

Tim McGraw

Picture to Burn

The Outside

Tied Together With a Smile

Should've Said No

I Heart ?

Fifteen

Tell Me Why

The Way I Loved You

Untouchable

Come In With the Rain

The Other Side of the Door

Dear John

Mean

The Story of Us

Better Than Revenge

Innocent

Haunted

If This Was a Movie

Red

Treacherous

All Too Well

I Almost Do

Holy Ground

Sad Beautiful Tragic

The Lucky One

Begin Again

The Moment I Knew

Come Back... Be Here

Style

Out of the Woods

How You Get the Girl

This Love

End Game

Look What You Made Me Do

Getaway Car

The Archer

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince

Cornelia Street

Soon You'll Get Better

Afterglow

Cardigan

This Is Me Trying

Epiphany

Peace

Hoax

No Body, No Crime

Ivy

Cowboy Like Me

Marjorie

Closure

Right Where You Left Me

You All Over Me

Bye Bye Baby

I really enjoy sorting and classifying Taylor's songs into different emotions and categories - there was a time I sorted them based on Hogwarts houses and Zodiac signs, which I may post here at some point.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[browniefox]

Above Drinking Age Isekai

Isekai - usually referring to Japanese stories (anime, manga, light novels or web novels) which involve the main character being transported into another world.

Phoenix, Miles, and Larry went to the magical world of Kesaii for six months when they were 9. Now, they're 24, and apparetly it isn't done with them just yet.

A series of scattered throughts and plot moments for this au.

1/?

oOo

There are some days when Phoenix doesn’t want to leave his apartment.

He’s familiar with everything in his apartment. He knows where all the items are, he knows how the light streams in through the windows, and which doors are a little squeaky, and he knows what to expect.

Outside his door? Back out on the streets? Who knew what he was going to see.

But Larry is wanted for murder, and Phoenix isn’t going to let his oldest friend get arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. He gets out of bed again, and puts on his blue suit, and bikes to the courthouse.

He almost hits a tree when he sees someone he knows.

He screeches to a halt, staring at the person. Their hair is longer than he remembers, and they’re dressed in casual clothes instead of the yukatas that were more popular in Mitama. They’re talking to a friend, and smiling, and he remembers that this voice sounded like a crisp autumn breeze and had brought the same chill physically, as if they were a slice of the season itself in mortal form. They had run their hands through Phoenix’s hair and smiled sweetly and told him to be careful, to remember that the leaves change color as they die but the tree isn’t dead, not yet, please remember that the tree hasn’t died.

Phoenix bites the inside of his mouth and starts peddling again.

It’s rude to stare, and he reminds himself that he’s never met that person before in his life.

oOo

There’s a lot of things adults don’t tell kids about magical fantasy worlds.

The first is that they exist.

The second is that settling back into home won’t ever feel quite the same.

Phoenix remembers stumbling out of the park with Larry right next to them. It wasn’t clear who was leaning on who, but they were both so terribly terribly tired. All of the rips and tears that had been magically mended over the past few months are all back at once. Phoenix lost one of his sandals at one point, and it makes his already-limping gait even more pronounced. One of his hands keeps going up and grabbing at his collarbone where his catalyst is supposed to be. It should be there, it’s always there, but now it’s suddenly and jarring gone.

“A-any sign of M-miles?” Phoenix stutters, looking around. His head is pounding. Thinking hurts. The light hurts. Every part of him feels sore and tired. Some part of him recognizes where they are, recognizes the so so familiar city, but the rest of him hasn’t entirely caught on yet. He has only one thought in mind, one goal.

“Not yet.” Larry grunts.

There’s a gasp from somewhere to their right and they both spin around. A surge of adrenaline rushes through Phoenix, enough to stand on his own for a moment. He reaches for the magatama - and again, his hand closes on empty air. Larry is running his fingers through the hair on the side of his head, as if the paintbrush that was supposed to be tucked behind his ear had somehow gotten lost in the short strands.

“Oh my god,” An adult is looking at them, hand to her mouth, “Oh. my. God! You’re those-those-those kids! From the tv!” She rambles. Phoenix looks over at Larry and Larry shrugs. She’s clearly human, not one of the noxious.

“E-excuse me, ma’am,” Phoenix says, taking a step forward. Larry clearly picks up on the fact that his legs are shaking and quickly resumes his position helping him stay standing, “M-ma’am, have you seen a-a-another kid, our age, gray ha-air?”

The woman isn’t listening to them. She’s pulled out a phone and has it held up to her ear.

“I don’t think she’s going to be much help.” Larry says and Phoenix nods.

“Maybe we left him, uh, left him in the park?” Phoenix considers. Larry shrugs, but they start to turn around and head back the way they came from.

“Wait! Stop! No, it’s okay, I’m going to help you, alright? The police are on their way, and I’ll, I’ll,” The woman digs around in her purse and then pulls out a black cylinder, “I’ll hurt anybody who tries to hurt you again, okay? I promise, you’re going to be safe!” The woman assures them. Phoenix looks over at Larry once more. Larry seems as confused as he is.

“No, that’s okay, we just need to find Edgey.” Larry tells her. There’s a loud and piercing whine and it’s not helping at all. Phoenix screws up his face and shakes his head as if it’ll help with the headache. It doesn’t. It’s only getting worse, and he sits down on the ground, holding his head in his hands, “Whoa, Nicky, you okay?”

“Y-yeah, just… just tired. You know how I am after, after…” Phoenix’s voice drifts off as he loses focus. His heart is beating in his chest and it hurts like a deep set longing. The world seems to shut down around him until all he can hear is that beating. His eyes are shut, but he swears if he opened them he’d see the Heart of Kesaii before him, still and silent.

That’s the last thing Phoenix remembers of that first night back on Earth.

oOo

Phoenix makes some rules for himself.

They help keep him going, especially in the very early days, when he half expects to find himself in the magical land of Kesaii at any second but he’s still trying to be normal around everybody else.

The first rule is not to mention Kesaii. It’s an unsaid rule between himself and Larry. Phoenix had tried, only once, to his mom when he first saw her again after the six months away. He’d said ‘I know you probably didn’t go to Kesaii, but does everybody go to a magical world?’ She’d worried and fretted over him, checking his temperature and completely baffled by the yukata he was wearing. She’d never answered, but she’d given him a very worried look, and then Phoenix had remembered seeing her on the other side of a raging river, trying to shout to her, and never being heard, never being understood, and he has his answer all the same.

The second rule is to ignore all of his memories. They can’t be trusted anymore, because he’s never shouted to his mom while standing on the other side of a raging river, the spray of it almost soaking him, chilling him to the bone as he tries to tell her, trying to get her to understand him. It never happened, and yet the memory is nestled in his head just like the rest of them. So he tries to make sure to reintroduce himself to everybody and make as few references to past events as possible.

The third rule is the first rule, but again, because he can’t be too careful.

The fourth rule is that he needs to find Miles.

He doesn’t know where Miles lives anymore. Miles never told them. He’d said that maybe, once they go the Heart beating again, he’d tell them what had happened to them. That moment never came, though, so Phoenix is left to try and find him.

He starts wearing a necklace. It’s not his magatama, not his catalyst, but it’s a weight around his neck and it’s like a safety blanket, a comfort. He notices how often Larry has pencils behind his ear after that, tucked where his own catalyst used to go.

They rarely talk about Kesaii, even to each other. Phoenix wonders if Larry keeps waking up and expecting to be back there, if everytime he closes his eyes he can hear the silence of the Heart, how his own heartbeat sounds mocking, a laughter in his own chest as it mocks their own failure.

Probably not. That’s probably just another ‘him’ thing.

oOo

“I can’t go back.”

It’s almost a whisper, but Phoenix chokes it out of his throat anyway. The young girl who had been kneeling next to Mia (her dead dead dead dead body) has woken back up and she blinks at him with sad and confused eyes.

“Huh?”

“I can’t go back, not right now,” Phoenix repeats himself with more force. He’d recognize those robes anywhere. Everyone in Mitama had own them. Phoenix himself had worn a version of them for the duration of his stay in that other world, “My boss - friend - Chief - is, is, is dead, and I need to, to do something about that, and I’m so close now, so close to actually really finding Miles, and-and-and I can’t go back right now, okay?” Phoenix flings the words out there and he realizes that he’s crying. His heart beat sounds too loud and erratic. His face is wet.

“You’re… Phoenix, right?” The girl says, slowly.

“Phoenix Wright.” Phoenix agrees and gives a strangled half-laugh half-sob. He’s shaking. Mia’s death feels like it’s only just becoming solid to him. God, he’d felt her body grow cold.

“I’m Maya. Maya Fey,” The girl says, “I’m Mia’s sister.”

“Mia’s… sister? Mia was from Kesaii?” Phoenix asks. Something isn’t adding up here.

“We’re from Kurain. I don’t know what Kesaii is.” She tells him. Phoenix nods numbly at that. It doesn’t make sense, because she’s dressed like she’s from the Mitama kingdom, and yet she’s here on Earth and Mia Fey’s sister and nothing makes sense anymore, nothing. “M-my sister, she’s-”

She doesn’t get through the rest of the sentence before Phoenix has surged forward and wrapped his arms around her. She’s warm, unlike Mia’s dead corpse in the other room, and her arms secure themselves around him. She’s sobbing into his shoulder now, both of them trembling like leaves in a storm.

Maybe nothing makes sense, but Phoenix knows that this girl is that little sister Mia was always talking about, and this girl just lost her sister, and holding her right now is all he can do for her.

“Police! Open up!”

There’s the sound of a door trying to slam open and Phoenix looks over to the front door to the office. It’s rattling to be opened, trying so hard to swing inwards, but there’s cold metal chain criss-crossing it and keeping it from opening up.

Phoenix shuts his eyes and shakes his head. He must be seeing things.

When he opens them again, the chains are gone, the door swings open, and the police flood into the room.

oOo

There’s never a good chance to talk to Miles during the case, and Phoenix wonders if at some point over the last fifteen years he missed his chance of actually really finding Miles Edgeworth. The man before him is a mockering of the boy Phoenix once knew, and it hurts him to his core.

The morning after the case is done, Phoenix wakes up and goes through his usual routine. His alarm clock blares at him and he sits up, sleep and dreams making his brain all foggy. He grabs his magatama off his desk, slipping it around his neck, and stumbling into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He sways on his feet and thinks about all the clean up that still needs to be done to the office. He doesn’t know how to get blood out of carpet, but he’s going to find out today. There’s also all the glass shards, and he hopes they’ll be big enough to easily pick out of the carpet. Maybe he should just see about getting an entirely new carpet. Oh, but that’s going to be so much money, and he’s only had two clients, one who never paid him and one who he took on pro bono. Hm, maybe-

Wait.

Wait.

Wait a fucking second.

Phoenix eyes, which had drifted closed as he scrubbed at his molars, snap open and star at his chest in the mirror. Specifically, they lock onto the green stone that is hanging from his neck. Chains come off of either side of it, fading completely and seamlessly into the gem where they meet it, and then the two chains cross over each other behind his neck. The rest of the chains wave through the air like streamers in a gentle breeze, simply turning their noses up at gravity.

Phoenix almost chokes on his toothpaste. He coughs and spits it into his sink. He reaches up and grabs his magatama, and his hand really does close around the smooth surface. It’s just barely warm enough to be unnatural.

“What,” Phoenix whispers under his breath, “The fuck.”

[cosmiclatte28]

I Saw it Jae (Jaehyun x you)

some angsty but happy end one shot! 

Jaehyun x you + TAEYONG IS YOUR BIG BROTHER 💖💖

"I saw it Jae, you don't have to explain a single thing. Everything is pretty self explanatory." You force a smile, your eyes are bloodshot, the waters are collecting under your lid, and you bite your trembling lip.

"No sweetheart, I swear... it's not what you think." Jaehyun begs you, he reaches for your hand, but you fold them nicely out of his reach.

"No need Jae, and please stop calling me that. We two are no longer a thing." You wipe his hand off from reaching you together with the first drop of tears.

You leave Jaehyun through your blurry vision. You can't see him well for the last time because of your flooding tears, but you run as fast as you could before he can reach you and melt your heart.

You exit the lobby, well earlier you planned to make a surprise visit to Jaehyun. You saw a girl exiting his door and when you open his door, Jaehyun's hair was messy, his shirt crumpled, and you clearly saw the red lipstick stain that got transferred during their hot session. He tried to deny it, but it was too convincing and too real to not be considered cheating. Jung Jaehyun, your boyfriend for two and a half year, cheated on you.

"Am I not good enough?" you playback the question you asked right the moment you enter his room..

His face was shocked, sad, and he knew he fucked up. He knew he made a great mistake- an unforgivable one-

"Jae, you know how much I love you?" you ask that calmly. Your heart is broken already, and your warm personality snaps into the cold version of yourself.

He nods, looks into his feet and asks, " You're not leaving me right? I'm sorry... it was the air-" he holds your hand "- I'm really sorry, look I never intended that..."

You shake your hand to break free from his grip and you spit out your anger after a good thirty second of thinking how mean he is. "I saw it Jae..."

Your frustrated steps reach the bus stop and you take the line to your brother's house. You're supposed to sleep over at Jaehyun's house tonight, but now your relationship is in the edge of breaking down.

You're positive your brother will accept you and comfort you. He can even have answers and solutions on what you should do next.

You send a short message to him, "Coming over, need a shoulder :") "

He directly calls you after receiving the text, you let it in the busy line as you run from the bus stop to his apartment number.

"Taeyong hyung-" you run into his open arms as soon as you see him. He did not ask you a question, but he knows something bad happened when he saw your red puffy eyes when you enter this room.

You finish all of your tears there and you make sure Taeyong needs to change his clothes if he doesn't want to get sick.

"Hyung, what will you do if you catch your girlfriend cheating on you?" you ask while playing with the hem of Taeyong's clothes.

Taeyong frowns, "Why are you asking this? Does Jaehyun cheat on you?"

You hopelessly nod " I clearly saw the girl leaving the room, and Jaehyun's appearance is enough. He denies me, but the evidence is too clear." Taeyong pulls you into a tighter hug, "So have you made your decision?"

You stare into the wall ahead of you and shake your head helplessly, "It hurts seeing him cheat, but it hurts me more to leave him."

Taeyong pulls a comfortable blanket over both of your body; he makes sure you are warm from the cold autumn air. You're already on the bed, ready to sleep whenever you close your eyes.

"Take your time making the decision, you don't want anger to take over and make silly decisions you will regret." Taeyong extends his hand and turns the lights off.

"Aren't you sad to know the bitter truth?" Taeyong asks while laying down on his back while looking to the ceiling.

You copy him and stare at the dark ceiling, you think for a moment or two before replying.

"I have too many good memories with him." You sigh and Taeyong takes the cue as to stop tonight's discussion.

He hums beside you and hugs your loosely from behind. You smile and speak in a low voice, "You remind me of him... We used to cuddle and he will sing me lullaby. I'd wake up in his embrace, peppering him butterfly kisses." You wipe a tear that escapes your eyes.

Taeyong sees that and he quickly steps in, "Know what? You're not in your right mind tonight. So it's better for me to drive you to sleep now and treat you for yummy foods tomorrow. How do you like it?"

You nod your head, "I need that. I need a fresh mind and a good mood to make decisions I won't regret."

With that being said, you snuggle yourself into your brother's embrace then steadily lets your mind and heart rest for a moment.

Being held in a brother's embrace is different than that of a boyfriend; you know a brother will never stab you in the back. You thank Taeyong for accepting your sudden visit to his house, messed his night plan, cried so much, and even forced him to sleep together in the tight bed.

"Morning sunshine," Taeyong leans in to peck your cheek like he used to every day when you're younger.

He is a loving brother, the one who stands up for you, the one who takes the blame, the one who will be the first to beat a person who bullies you, and of course Taeyong loves you as much as you love him.

"Breakfast is ready," Taeyong tells me as he tidies up his bed.

You go to brush your teeth and see how swollen your eyes are, "Ice creams for breakfast?"

He chuckles, "Ice creams after lunch!"

You start your day with a better heart, and a fresh mind. You will meet your boyfriend first and talk with him nicely. Yes, you will ask him the truth and if he really did tell the truth, you'll forgive him. After all, you can't imagine yourself living without Jaehyun.

[atinyrabbit]

love/hate songs

Since 8tracks is messed up and playmoss is gonna disappear and Spotify doesn't have many songs, I’m posting some of my playlists here. This is a list of songs about love/hate relationships for pairings. Enemies to lovers, tsundere personalities, hero/villain couplings, opposites attract, loving someone you know you shouldn't. This list is several years old so the songs are older and kinda ‘scene.’

Major trigger warnings for the lyrics of these songs. Some songs have violent lyrics. This playlist romanticizes conflict.

Song list under read more:

Love to Hate You - Erasure Nicotine - Panic! at the Disco Don't Let It Go To Your Head - Fefe Dobson Your Love Will Kill Me - Daniel Lavoie Bruises and Bitemarks (Remix) - Good With Grenades October & April - The Rasmus feat. Anette Olzon Violator - Son of Rust Sick Amore - El Creepo Disgusting - Ke$ha Dangerous - Depeche Mode Oleander - Mother Mother Fear & Delight - The Correspondents Love is a Suicide - Natalia Kills Sex as a Weapon - Pat Benatar I'd Love To Kill You - Katie Melua Before I Ever Met You - Banks Rent - Pet Shop Boys Helpless When She Smiles - Backstreet Boys Holy - Zolita Strangelove - Depeche Mode I Won't Say (I'm In Love) - Susan Egan Can't Feel My Face - The Weeknd Only You - Ellie Goulding Devil Devil - Milck Livin' In A World Without You - The Rasmus  

Hate Love - Adelitas Way Suddenly - Peter Heppner Sick and Twisted Affair - My Darkest Days Radioactive Mirrors - Amazinglyjon Dangerous - Cascada Violence (Club Mix) - Grimes & i_o This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller Make Hate To Me - Citizen Soldier Gently Break It - Beck Pete Portrait of a Female - Cruel Youth This Could Be Love - Alkaline Trio Lie, Lie, Lie - Myra You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi I Only Wanna Be With You - Volbeat Maybe You're Not the Worst Thing Ever - Cast of Galavant I've Got You Under My Skin - Seether Human - Oh Land Le Bien Qui Fait Mal - Mozart, L'Opera Rock Can't Help Falling In Love [Light x Dark Remix] - feat. Brooke Tommee Profitt Fell For You - Green Day Stupid Grin - Dragonette Broken - Lauren Hoffman Take Me to Church - Hozier Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis Whip - Mr.Kitty   Get You Off - Fefe Dobson Crazy Girl - Ke$ha Vice - POP ETC Cannibal - Silversun Pickups Rest in Peace - Original Cast of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Hem of Your Garment - Cake Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge Truth Or Dare - Marianas Trench We Sink - CHVRCHES Gingerbread Man - Melanie Martinez You Stupid Girl - Framing Hanley   Die For You - Red F*cking Boyfriend - The Bird & The Bee Mean - Nicole Dollanganger Must Be Crazy for Me - Melissa Etheridge That Girl - Alexz Johnson FMLYHM - Seether Bad Romance - Halestorm Aquarius - Within Temptation Flirt (With Me) - Zeromancer I'm With Stupid - Pet Shop Boys Stop This Song (Love Sick Melody) - Paramore Trying Not To Love You - Nickelback Kill for You - Zolita A Love Like War - All Time Low You Need Me - SWANS Hatef--k - The Bravery Bottled Affection - Cold War Kids True Love - ThouShaltNot Terrible Thing - Ag I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters Exit Wounds - The Romanovs Gun - Chvrches Every Breath You Take - Chase Holfelder Whole Lotta Love - Smash Mouth Bloodsport - Sneaker Pimps XXX - Imran-C Bitter Rivals - Sleigh Bells Destruction Of Us - Mr.Kitty Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer Love Me Dead - Ludo Paralyzed - The Used River - Bishop Briggs Neon - VERSA Sucker For Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons I'm Your Villain - Franz Ferdinand Beautiful Monster - Ne-Yo I Own You - Birgit Let Me Be Your Armor - ASSEMBLAGE 23 Perfect Enemy - t.A.T.u. Straight for the Knife - Sia One More Night - Maroon 5 I Hate You (Don't Leave Me) - Ke$ha The Moth - Aimee Mann Mad Love - The Veronicas Toxic (Acoustic Britney Spears Cover) - Johnny Goth Bad Intentions - Digital Daggers Shut Up - Nick Lachey Soldier - Bitter Ruin First Bad Habit - Vanessa Hudgens In The Darkness - Dead By Sunrise Tearin' Up My Heart - *NSYNC You'll Be Back - Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton & Jonathan Groff Crazy In A Good Way - VERIDIA Combat Baby - Metric In Bluebeard's Castle - Unwoman When Doves Cry - Prince State of Seduction - Digital Daggers Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert Broken Inside - Broken Iris Murder (feat. Minx, Chilled) - Boyinaband Why Do You Love Me - Charlotte Lawrence Follow You Home - Nickelback Love To See You Cry - Enrique Iglesias Impressed - Natalie Imbruglia Die For You - Megan McCauley Your Kind (Speak to Me) - Danger Radio Tyrant - The Bravery Violent Games - Polica Toxicated Love - NEO Nemeses (feat. John Roderick) - Jonathan Coulton Miserable - Lit Running From My Shadow - The Velvet Teaparty Barricade - Stars Trouble (Stripped) - Halsey Brutal Hearts - Bedouin Soundclash Desire - Meg Myers Sticks And Stones - The Pierces Just the Girl - The Click Five Himerus and Eros - The Spill Canvas Blood - In This Moment I'm Insane - Myah Marie Fiction (Dreams In Digital) - Orgy Whore - In This Moment Monster - Ryan Adames Foundations - Kate Nash Only When I Lose Myself - Depeche Mode Hatchet - Archive The Beginning of the Twist - The Futureheads Change - Deftones Trust Me - Marc Senter Love Me Hate Kiss Me Kill Me (Scndl Remix) - Fukkk Offf Big Bad Handsome Man - Imelda May The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy My Obsession - Cinema Bizarre Stitches - Orgy Miss Kiss Kiss Bang - Alex Swings Oscar Sings! Sweet Dreams - Beyonce Fuel To The Fire - The Maine Closer (Nine Inch Nails Cover) - Niki Barr Band Clueless - Orla Gartland Devil Woman - Cliff Richard Hatefuck - Motionless In White I Love You But I Don’t Like You - Molly Moore Overpower Thee - AUF dER MAUR Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me - All Time Low Post Blue - Placebo Genghis Khan - Miike Snow Poison - Alice Cooper I Know I'm A Wolf - Young Heretics Little Toy Gun - honeyhoney I Miss the Misery - Halestorm Dirty Sticky Floors (radio mix) - Dave Gahan Clarity - Zedd I Get A Kick Out Of You - Frank Sinatra I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Die for You - Otherwise Labyrinth - Oomph! Black Black Heart - David Usher I Want to Destroy Something Beautiful - Josh Woodward I'm a Priest - Daniel Lavoie You Need Me - SWANS Afraid of the Dark - Phildel Virus - Ryan Adames I Wanna Be Your Dog (remix) - Emilie Simon Hello Goodbye - The Beatles Sarcasm (Album Version) - Get Scared Use Me - Hinder Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars Pretty When You Cry - VAST Tainted Love - Soft Cell Scream - Avenged Sevenfold Think About It - Danger Radio Gallery Piece - Of Montreal Bang Bang Bang Bang - Sohodolls Little Girls - Say Anything I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace Love Runs Out - OneRepublic Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins Hit Me Like a Man - The Pretty Reckless Bang Bang (feat. Adam Levine) - K'naan Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp Addicted - Kelly Clarkson Whiplash - FEMM Paralyzer - Finger Eleven Crime - Temposhark Misery Loves Company - Emilie Autumn It Was Good for You Too - Marian Call Price Of Company - The White Tie Affair Burn! - Kobra And The Lotus I Love My Lawyer - Ofelia K I Want Blood - empires (I Always Kill) The Things I Love (ft. The Real Tuesday Weld) - Claudia Brucken Misery (Cutmore Radio) - Maroon 5 Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar I Lust You - Neon Neon Pistol Whipped - Marilyn Manson Bitches Brew - Crosses A Formidable Marinade - Mikelangelo And The Black Sea Gentlemen Control - Puddle of Mudd Scary Love - Skye Sweetnam Loveyouhateyou - Sad Robot Untangle Me - Snow Ghosts A Little Taste - Skyler Stonestreet E.V.O.L - Marina and the Diamonds   (You're the) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley Shut Up & Kiss - Me Orianthi Cool for Chaos - Nostalghia Oyeme - Enrique Iglesias I Hate You - Sick Puppies GirlShapedLoveDrug - Gomez You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk - Pet Shop Boys Need You Like A Drug - Zeromancer Werewolf - Cat Power Bathwater - No Doubt Bad Dog - Neon Hitch Guns And Horses - Ellie Goulding Rev 22-20 - Puscifer Won't You Please Be Nice - Nellie McKay The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails Until The Day I Die - Story of the Year Womanizer - Britney Spears Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations I Think I Love You David Cassidy Stalkers - Mindless Self Indulgence   Kill Me Every Time - Blue Stahli Preface - FKA twigs Every You Every Me - Placebo Want - Disturbed Spit It Out - IAMX Destroy Me - Mr Kitty My Sweet Prince - Placebo Psycho - Imelda May Monster - Meg Myers Figured You Out - Nickelback Suffocated Love - Tricky Satisfy Me One More Time - Frank Sinatra This Love - Maroon 5 Miss Jackson (feat. Lolo) - Panic! At The Disco Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar Every Other Time Lyte - Funky Ones How Do You Love Someone - Ashley Tisdale Poison - Gin Wigmore Bitter and Sick - One Two The Outsider - Marina & the Diamonds True Love (feat Lily Rose Cooper) - Pink Bad Boy - Cascada Irresistible - Temposhark Painkiller - The Queenstons Born to Die / Russian Roulette - Amazinglyjon Like Sugar - Matchbox Twenty Mad About You - Hooverphonic Stupify - Disturbed Problems - Mother Mother What Is Love - Haddaway Animal - The Cab Marionette - Antonia I Hate You But I Love You - Russian Red Carve A Name - Mother Mother Criminal - Britney Spears Danger - Hilary Duff Fell in Love w/an Android - Simon Curtis Demon Lover - Róisín Murphy Always - Saliva Too Close - Alex Clare Little of Your Time - Maroon 5 Sex and Violence - Scissor Sisters Electric Storm - Delta Goodrem Black widow - Susanne Sundfør Dangerous Kind - Rasmus You've Really Got a Hold on Me - The Miracles Over and Over - Three Days Grace Devour - Marilyn Manson Nature of Inviting - IAMX The Odd Couple - Weezer Hurt Me Harder - Zolita Terrible Love - The National Mad Love - Jojo Boomerang - Reliant K Bad News - Sleeper Agent I Was An Island (EP Version) - Allison Weiss Rock Bottom - Hailee Steinfeld You’re the One That I Want - Lo Fang Poison - Rita Ora Kill For You - Skylar Grey ft Eminem Wouldn't Be Love - Ritual Hate Me - Nico Collins Irresistible - Fall Out Boy I Love You... I'll Kill You - Enigma

[simsadventures]

Yours Forever

Summary: You enjoy the summer with your boyfriend, Captain America, who, sometimes, need assurance that you’ll love him no matter what

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff, smut (MUST BE 18+ TO READ THE PART BETWEEN WARNINGS!, the warnings will be before and after the smut, so that those who aren’t comfortable reading, won’t have to), semi-public sex, jealousy

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2402

A/N: This piece was written for the loveliest @the-soulofdevil​, who requested a one-shot for my 500 Followers Celebration, and her song of choice was either Love or Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey, and I kinda combined the two of them (I got carried away, I’m so sorry if it isn’t what you expected love). Also this is my first Steve fic, so be gentle with me. Hope you’ll enjoy it guys.

Masterlist

Steve has been home from a mission for about a week, and you couldn’t get enough of him. It was mid-July, so you could spend most of your time outside, either beside the pool at the compound, or just wandering through the streets of New York, and especially Brooklyn.

Steve loved to show you around his once own neighbourhood, his stories revolving mainly around places where he got beaten up. You would always caress his cheek, letting him know that you were there and that even if he got shrunken back, you’d still want him and kick the asses of those guys.

Steve was always a little worried, that most women wanted him for his looks, once he got enhanced, and that nobody really saw through it. It was a huge struggle at the beginning of your relationship, because whenever you’d compliment his physique, he would always go into this defensive state of mind, and would be pissed for pretty much the rest of the day. You didn’t understand it, because, sure, his body was a blessing and you couldn’t look at it without your knees going a little soft, but other than that, you loved Steve for who he was, and not for what he looked like.

It was only when you found out what the problem was that you sat him down and talked sense into him. It was that night that you and Steve made love for the first time. Until then, you always fucked, but that night was a breakthrough in your relationship, and something shifted to the better. There were still moments when you had to remind Steve of why you actually loved him, and today was one of those days.

You were in front of the compound, being too lazy to actually get up and leave the comfort of what you now called home. Although you weren’t part of the team and were actually a nurse, Steve insisted that you were most protected there, that even if he wasn’t around, there were still other people who could take care of you, and there was also FRIDAY. You tried to tell him that everyone knew where the compound was, even the bad guys and that you were much safer in your old apartment, but Steve wouldn’t have it. He was probably the most stubborn man you’ve ever met.

You were laying by the pool, a big part of the team surrounding you, enjoying the free day they had. Earth didn’t need its saviours for a while, and they all couldn’t get enough of the summer in the city. You were in your bikini, absorbing as much of vitamin D as you could, trying to store in for autumn and winter, where you knew you’d need it. You just hoped it would work. Bucky was sitting behind you, chatting with you, both of you completely relaxed. You laughed at one of his jokes, throwing your head back. The guy was cheesy as hell, but his heart was golden, and you were glad Steve had him back in his life.

After a while, you looked up, your hand shading the sun from burning your eyes out of your head, looking for Steve. You could see him standing by the nearest wall, shadow on his face, both literal and metaphorical. You frowned a little and called his name to get his attention. You only got a wave of a hand as an answer, and you thought it was even odder. You knew he was excited to see you on your new bikini, white with golden circles all over it and with little gold beads on the straps. But he seemed to not care about your attire at all.

You excused yourself to Bucky, who just cocked his eyebrow, looking at his best friend. “Go easy on him, Y/N. I think he’s jealous that you’ve been talking to me the whole time.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, James.” He just made a gesture like you-wait-and-see, and let you go discover what was bugging Steve.

The closer you were getting, the more you noticed how rigid his whole body was. He was standing there like a sculpture, moving and perfect, with a very serious face. He was beautiful, just in his blue swim trunks reaching only his mid-thigh. But you couldn’t enjoy the sight too much, because he’s pissed off, and maybe sad face wasn’t fitting the image.

“What is it, baby?” You asked meekly when you reached him and tried to touch him but almost jumped away from your touch, the wrinkle on your forehead only deepening.

“Nothing, go back to having fun.” He mumbled, now pouting like a little child. Was it possible that he was jealous, just like Bucky said?

“But I’m not having that much fun when you’re not around.” You stepped closer to him, but this time keeping your hands to yourself, although it took all your willpower to do so.

“Yeah, you and Buck looked like you were having a terrible time, laughing like crazy there.”

You sighed, and even though he wanted to protest, you flung your arms around his neck and made him look at you that way. “Are you really jealous of your best friend, Steve?”

He closed his eyes, and you could see there was a fight behind his eyelids. One side won, the better one for you, and he let his hands grip your hips.

“It’s just that… I don’t know. Bucky has always been the one getting all the girls, and if there were two of them, they still wanted him and never me. And I’m just worried that you’ll see that he is the better man and leave me.” He whispered the last part of the sentence because tears were forming in his eyes. Your poor shy boy from Brooklyn.

“Baby, look at me, please,” you pleaded gently, and Steve obediently opened his eyes. “I love you with all my heart. Yeah, I was laughing with Bucky, but that’s about it. I laugh with you, I cry with you, I fall asleep with you, and so much more. And I’d do all that if you were the skinny boy again, because sure, the body of yours has its advantages, especially in particular area, but other than that? I care about what inside, and you’re the best guy.

I don’t care about your looks if we’re thirty, or two hundred. I’ll love you no matter what Steve. When we’re both old and wrinkly, I’ll love just as much as I love you right now, and maybe a little more, because you’ll have put up with me for ages by then.”

Steve was looking at you intently, drinking in everything you said. He couldn’t believe his own luck to have someone like you beside him. He knew it was stupid of him to be jealous, but sometimes, he just couldn’t help himself. Just like he couldn’t help himself now, finally seeing through his sadness and fear of losing you, and seeing what you were wearing.

“What areas are we talking about?” He said with a raised eyebrow and a smirk playing on his lips.

You had to laugh at that. “That’s the only thing you heard, you perv?” He wiggled his brows, and you just shook your head. He was in a better mood, and that was the goal. He leaned down to be on your level, his hands flying to your head and he kissed you with so much passion that you thought you’d faint right there. From the shy boy standing in front of you just second ago, he transformed into this dominant man, ready to devour you and show you who you belonged to. And you loved both versions equally, even if each of them with a different bodily part.

You let him take what was rightfully his, putting no obstacles in his way. You opened your mouth willingly, letting him explore it with his tongue. When he felt you were running out of your breath, he moved to give your neck the same attention he gave to your mouth. You were standing impossible close to each other, and you could feel his member pushing against your leg, getting some sort of friction.

Warning: smut ahead

You moaned softly, which only spurred Steve forward. He loved hearing the little noises coming out of your mouth, and he wanted to hear more. You, on the other hand, was very much aware of the environment in which you still were, his team-mates all around you, and because a lot of them were super-humans, you were pretty sure they could hear your every ragged breath.

Steve didn’t understand why you were pushing against his shoulder and wanted to continue with the activity at hand, but you pushed a little harder this time, calling his name as well.

“What? I’m having fun, sweetheart!” He said with a small pout which you couldn’t help but tried and kissed it away.

“So am I, Steve, but your buddies are all over the place and not for nothing, but I don’t need all of them seeing my bare ass, or worse.” Steve seemed to have thought about it for a second before he picked you up as if you weighted nothing, threw you over his shoulder and marched towards the door leading inside.

When he felt like you were far enough from the prying eyes, he let you stand up on your own. You looked around, seeing you were still in a very much public place, in a hallway. It was not the main hallway people would use when leaving the pool, but still.

“Can’t we go to our room?” You squeaked, but Steve wasn’t listening anymore. He was pushing the top of your bikini away, revealing your boobs. He growled at the sight of them, your nipples standing erect from the kissing session you and Steve had mere seconds ago. He didn’t waste any time, and sucked on one of them, while his fingers played and tugged on the other one. You involuntarily arched up against his touch, wanted more, even if you wanted it in the confines of your own private room.

Steve could feel the change in your body, the will to fight him about the place leaving your body, being replaced by sheer lust. That was the exact moment Steve waited on. He released your nipple with a pop and looked at you through his lust-hooded eyes. He smirked at you, and you knew what was coming, and suddenly you couldn’t give to fucks about someone finding you two. You just needed him, and he seemed to be as eager as you were.

He released his painfully hard cock from his shorts, rubbing it against your leg, as he kissed you again, conveying all of his emotions in this kiss. You could feel the love he was pouring into it, and you were drunk on it. He pulled only to put his forehead against yours. “I love you so much, Y/N. And I always will, I promise. Even if we’re now young and in love and it might seem like a plain promise, but I mean what I say. And anyhow, I’m basically an ancient guy now, so…” he trailed off, and you smiled up at him.

You gently grabbed his cock, rubbing your hand up and down his length, and from the hisses and silent curses falling from Steve’s lips, you assumed he enjoyed what you were doing. But you still wanted more. You pushed your panties away, not wanting to waste time pulling them down, and put your legs a little wider apart, for Steve to have enough room to operate.

Steve obviously got the message, as he grabbed your right leg and locked his arm under your knee, opening you even more. Then it was just easy for him to slide home. You were so wet, not only from the physical touch but also from all the confessions, that he didn’t need to prepare you at all.

He slid in with one thrust, revelling at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. No matter how many times you two slept together, he would always be little too large for you, and you’d still need a little time to adjust to his magnificent size. Steve waited patiently, until your hips bucked against his, giving him a sign that you were ready for all he had to give to you.

Steve didn’t hesitate and started thrusting into you mercilessly, both from his own horniness and from the possibility someone could walk in on the two of you.

He knew exactly how to make you undone in minutes. All he had to do was thrust deep enough to hit your sweet spot, and massage your little bundle of nerves, and you’d be gone in no time. For him, it was just the feeling of your velvety walls when you came that always did it for him. He always had to make sure you came before him, so he could marvel at the sight of you, in the highest state of pleasure possible.

And it really took him not even 10 minutes, before you were silently whispering his name, chanting it like a prayer, your face contorting in ecstasy. That was all it took for him to feel the wave of pleasure rolling over him so hard his toes curled and he gave a few sloppy thrusts before he was coming deep inside your pussy. He was breathing hard into your neck, both of you sweaty and sticky from the activity and the humidity in the hallway.

Warning ending

You could hear voices coming from the other hallway, and you snuggled a little closer to Steve as if to shield yourself from any visitors.

“You two done? We thought we’d play water polo, but we’re missing two players.” Bucky hollered at you, and your cheeks were suddenly burning, and you knew they were bright red.

Steve just laughed and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah, give us a sec, and we’re with you.”

“Sure, just be so kind and have a shower first.” You could hear the smirk on Bucky’s face, and you rolled your eyes.

“Asshole,” you muttered, earning a chuckle from Steve and a loud Ouch from Bucky. Damn them and their enhanced hearing.

Marvel Taglist

@waiting4inspiration​ @voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​

Forever Tags:

@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​

If you’d like to be tagged comment/message/send an ask. If you like the story, please reblog :) any comments are appreciated, even the critical ones. Always a space to get better, so let me know what you guys think.

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[this-year-ive-read]

Books I’ve Read in 2019 (A List in Progress)

The Devil and Sherlock Holmes - David Grann (***)

“The course of human events is not permanently altered by the great deeds of history, nor by the great men but by the small daily doings of the little men.”

Killers of the Flower Moon - The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI - David Grann (**)

“History is a merciless judge. It lays bare our tragic blunders and foolish missteps and exposes our most intimate secrets, wielding the power of hindsight like an arrogant detective who seems to know the end of the mystery from the outset.”

The Things They Carried - Tim O’Brien (****)

“They carried the sky. The whole atmosphere, they carried it, the humidity, the monsoons, the stink of fungus and decay, all of it, they carried gravity.”

“I survived, but it's not a happy ending.”

“But this too is true: stories can save us.”

Every Word You Cannot Say - Lain S Thomas (***)

“There are days when everyone needs you to be strong, even if you're dying inside, and you can only cry when no one's looking because you're petrified of letting them down.”

“I don’t know if I’m ever, really, ‘Here’”

Everything I Never Told You - Celeste NG (***)

“Before that she hadn’t realized how fragile happiness was, how if you were careless, you could knock it over and shatter it.”

“You never got what you wanted; you just learned to get by without it.”

Night - Elie Wiesel (****)

“To forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time.

“Those who kept silent yesterday will remain silent tomorrow”

The Alice Network - Kate Quinn (**)

“Poetry is like passion--it should not be merely pretty; it should overwhelm and bruise.”

“What did it matter if something scared you, when it simply had to be done”

Love her wild - Atticus (***)

“We are made of all those who have built and broken us”

“A sky

full

of stars

and he

was staring

at her.”

When we Left Cuba - Chanel Cleeton (****)

“For the dreams that slip through our fingers.

May we hold them in our arms one day.”

“You can love someone and still not lose your reason.”

“Not all of us have the luxury of setting the world on fire, simply because we’re angry.”

Crush - Richard Siken (***)

“A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river

           but then he’s still leftwith the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away

           but then he’s still left with his hands.”

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.”

“They want you to love the whole damn world but you won’t, you want it all narrowed down to one fleshy man in a bath who knows what to do with his body, with his hands.”

War of the Foxes - Richard Siken (**)

“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.”

“I want to give you more but not everything. You don’t need everything.”

Murder on the Orient Express - Agatha Christie (**)

“The impossible could not have happened, therefore the impossible must be possible in spite of appearances.”

Fool Me Once - Harlan Coben (***)

“All love stories,” Maya’s father had told her many years ago, “end in tragedy.”

“There are moments in life when everything changes.”

Pirate Hunters - Robert Kurson (*****)

“They made a sound I’d never heard before but somehow had known my whole life, a waterfall of muted chimes, dense and deep and old”

“When John asked his grandfather about being heroic, Arison told him that he had not done anything special, just what he thought was right”

“The world came alive when a person got a chance to be good”

“Do it now. Tomorrow is promised to no one”

“And promised himself that no matter what, he wouldn’t put off until tomorrow what his heart told him to go for today.”

“He just looked out at the world knowing it was finally too late for his father to have an adventure, and nothing seemed in color anymore.”

The Lost City of the Monkey God - Douglas Preston (***)

“But then the teules [foreigners] arrived and everything fell apart. They brought fear, and they came to wither the flowers.”

Crashing Through - Robert Kurson (****)

“It wasn't who a person believed himself to be or what he pretended he would do in a given situation. It was what he did when he got there that defined him.”

“May opened his eyes. Electric dots of silver-white, as many as the sound of a rainstorm, ran to every space in the world, and when he tried to see where they led there was no world anymore, they led everywhere, across a blanket of night that had no edges, and for a moment May didn’t know where he was among these stars, if he was under them or around them or beyond them, they were everywhere and he was everywhere, he was where he wanted to be.”

Shadow Divers - Robert Kurson (*****)

“This is where the hangers on, and wannabes, and also rans, and once greats keep believing in the sea.”

“I love you and you’re not here for me.”

Ross Poldark - Winston Graham (***)

“The greatest thing is to have someone who loves you and—and to love in return”

“Autumn lingered on as if fond of its own perfection.”

Demelza - Winston Graham (***)

“Strange sometimes how easy bitter words came, how hard the kind ones.”

“Let me stay a little longer in the sun.”

Love Looks Pretty on You - Lang Leav (****)

“You turn him into poetry because you can’t have him any other way.”

“I have been quiet lately, I know. Not because I don’t have anything to say but because I have too much.”

“I struggle with things that are as easy to others as breathing.”

“Here is the story of my life. Hoping they would care about me or wishing they wouldn’t care so much.”

“When love swept in like the ocean

And left me in drops, like rain.”

Jeremy Poldark - Winston Graham (***)

“Resentment and bitterness and old grudges were dead things, which rotted the hands that grasped them.”

“It isn’t where you’re born in this world, it’s what you do.”

Edgar: an Autobiography - Edgar Martinez (***)

“I concentrate on the moment and Don’t let the past or the future overwhelm me.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the greatest mariner of all time.”

Warleggan - Winston Graham (***)

“Their lives had been the tragedy of one woman who could not make up her mind.”

“It was not the cold of the night that she felt but an inner cold that no coat would cure.”

“Remember this she thought. In times of jealousy and neglect, remember this. He said: “so you are not to be rid of me, my love.” “So I am not to be rid of you, my love.””

The Black Moon - Winston Graham (**)

“Blemishes on the beauty of a person one loves are like grace notes adding something to a piece of music.”

“We can’t alter the world, we can only adapt ourselves to it.”

The Lost Girls of Paris - Pam Jenoff (*)

“It is simply not enough to be as good as the men. They don’t believe we can do this and so we have to be better.”

Emma - Jane Austen (***)

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

“I may have lost my heart, but not my self control.”

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë (****)

“Because he’s more myself than I am.  Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

“I have not broken your heart—you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.”

“The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her!”

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall - Anne Brontë (****)

“beauty is that quality which, next to money, is generally the most attractive to the worst kinds of men;”

“But smiles and tears are so alike with me, they are neither of them confined to any particular feelings: I often cry when I am happy, and smile when I am sad.”

“If she gives you her heart,’ said I, ‘you must take it, thankfully, and use it well, and not pull it in pieces, and laugh in her face, because she cannot snatch it away.”

“This rose is not so fragrant as a summer flower, but it has stood through hardships none of them could bear: the cold rain of winter has sufficed to nourish it, and its faint sun to warm it; the bleak winds have not blanched it, or broken its stem, and the keen frost has not blighted it.  Look, Gilbert, it is still fresh and blooming as a flower can be, with the cold snow even now on its petals.—Will you have it?”

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë (*****) {Reread}

“You think I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or kindness; but I cannot live so”

“He made me love him without looking at me.”

“I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you—especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame.  And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.”

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will”

“Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless?  You think wrong!—I have as much soul as you,—and full as much heart!  And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you.”

[la-paritalienne]

also reply to all the quetions.. 50k words for each one

vfghjklkgk this is quite demanding but quite funny and cute so. 

♡

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please! — mmm i feel like i’m at the gates of a new life bc i’m truly about to start looking for a job and i guess i’m like… nostalgic for something that i haven’t really left behind yet? i might have ups and downs but i love my life, being ‘free’ all day, talking to my friends, going to the gym whenever etc… it’s kind of scary that everything is about to change, i’ll have real responsibilities and a tight schedule and idk, it’s just going to be different and possibly how the rest of my life could look indefinitely. but i’m also also excited, and also very grateful for what i have, i’m having a very nice night and i love my friends 

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? — bits and pieces of my life. it’s small moments but they mean everything. being on the beach with no worries at all. going to the cinema with my brother to see the new star wars movie, how i’m always about to tear up as it starts. crying happy tears in the metro while going the gym. how i feel when i see my parents at the airport in rome and everything that might weighing me down

lemon; what’s your comfort food? — it has to include lots of melted cheese and possibly carbs, so either pizza or a grilled cheese sandwich basically, but also a parmigiana di melanzane wouldn’t be half bad 

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? — idk if i believe in this concept, especially when it comes to songs… like music is supposed to be music and there’s no guilt in listening to like, ‘lighter’ stuff i guess? like i would say ‘what makes you beautiful’ but that pleasure is so not guilty… maybe atm i kinda feel like that with ‘dove e quando’ by benji e fede but like… it’s a jam so gjggkgkg ok this is a stupid reply, i’m sorry! 

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of! — mmmmm just discovered i’m not sure, but quite recently (beginning on this summer) this amazing artist named skott who also has a new song out these days (still need to listen to it) 

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home? — mm… a while ago i would have said here and only here in paris but tbh, my parents’ home in rome also always feels like home, although in a different way, as if i go back to being younger, a slightly different version of myself back there. so yeah, maybe paris would be the number one place, but where my family is, i feel at home, also at the seaside.

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? — myself, my mom, my dad and my brother 

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend. — i have a few very close friends and i love them all a looot, but i’ll choose one in particular for the purposes of this reply, sooo. ummm i love her so much and i want to be there for her no matter what, i think she’s super fun and we have great times together, but we also talk about serious stuff, she’s been there for me through a lot. she’s interesting and cute, but also quite a deep and complex person, which is something i really appreciate and find quite fascinating, like i love being around people like that, i love when they share thoughts / ideas / views of the world that i wouldn’t have come up with myself, i find it enriching. of course i wish she was always happy and serene and that’s not always the case, but who is? and i mean, she’s my friend, i just love the whole package. she is an amazing listener and for that i’ll never stop being grateful, gives amazing advice, has the best stories that often make me crack tf up, great taste in music and in general... and a lot more 

golden deep; what’s your favorite season? — i love summer, but i also like a chilly autumn, especially on a sunny day, with the wind kind of brisk… but not necessarily, rainy days are cool too and idk, autumn is underrated but i love it, i love how cosy it feels, how comforting it feels when the weather sucks and you don’t feel ‘guilty’ for lazying around the house, how sweating at the gym becomes more satisfactory, love layered clothes etc… yay 

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off? — go to the gym, make a meal for myself (i like making big salads with lots of different things in them, especially if some elements require cooking, it feels like a treat to me bc i normally don’t have the time / the energy for actual cooking), indulge in some dessert, a walk by myself or with some friend…

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? — yes, my friends are quite dependable (hope this is the right word?), like maybe not all of them all the time, but there’s always someone willing to listen. + my brother

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? — why not both gkgkggkgk but i’m actually more productive in the morning and i don’t really mind starting my day as soon as i wake up, so i’ll go for evenings. 

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? — i replied to this one but not right now, the i-land was cool tho! 

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? — i think i’m a mix of both in a way that like… i’m neither?? i try to be analytical but i’m too emotional and i guess i’m creative but i’m not truly an artist so i really don’t know, maybe from the outside someone could interpret me better? if i think about it, i think i manage to be quite analytical when it comes to others, but as far as i’m personally concerned, i live in fantasy, hypothesis, this sort of nostalgic and ‘artsy’ world of mine, maybe?

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? — nothing that comes to my mind like that, my favorite artists don’t exactly bring me peace, i like art that’s kind of exciting and often colorful (matisse, kandinsky, picasso, rothko) so i’m not sure, but my parents have the print of a beautiful gaugin painting in their room, and that’s always reminded me of home and calm and it’s also gorgeous, so i generally associate gauguin’s girls to this peaceful, blissful feeling.

english red; what animal do you relate to most? — a house cat. lazy but at times gets the urge to jump around and tire itself just so then they can lay on the sofa with more satisfaction. eating is what makes it get up 90 per cent of the time. cuddlier and more affectionate than it looks

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? — mmmm i love a british accent but i also love lots of italian accents, especially on my friends, like if i associate it to them i like it even more.

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? — not really, i just want to be loved tbh. i mean of course there’s some personality traits that i always find attractive and i had a gym girl phase but i wouldn’t say i have a type, i’m open to anything 

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. — well she’s gorgeous, talented, an advocate for body positivity, an amazing singer, feminist icon, savvy businesswoman, looks good w any kind of hair, she’s richer than beyoncé and also nicer tbh... she has a makeup brand which i’m obsessed with, a lingerie brand, a (super expensive sadly) clothing brand... the most amazing eyes....... i love her 

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? — mm nice dinner somewhere cosy and warm but not too noisy so we can talk, ideally there’s no awkward silences and we just talk about ourselves, find out we have some stuff in common, there’s laughter etc. nothing extra, just a nice night with someone i like 

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? — like the first one but we know each other better so maybe something even chiller like a picnic or a dinner at home??

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? — yeah i mean it depends on the mood, the chemistry, the connection etc. also like if it’s a date w someone i already knew then that’s more likely to happen, if it’s a date that kind of started off like a date... idk, not exactly blind but like we haven’t exactly been friends before, then maybe there’s some pressure and i’m not sure if that would happen, but i wouldn’t say no as a rule.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? — a friend of mine from the gym and her daughter (also a friend but i know the mom better) spontaneously offered to help me with my curriculum, to make it look prettier and more appealing. i mean it’s nothing huge and i could mention my friends or my family but i think it’s clear that i love them and that they’re a positive part of my life, so i thought i’d share this little bit of unexpected kindness that i’ve been receiving. 

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? — mahmood’s concert!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? — an airy, luminous apartment in paris, not necessarily huge but bigger than the one i have right now, neatly furnished w the kind of stuff i would reblog on tumblr bc it’s so aesthetic, lots of white, gold and pops of color like dusty pink, peach, yellow. ancient parquet, high ceilings, white walls but maybe not all of them... like some color could be nice but that will depend on how the house is structured. a fireplace w mirror above (classic parisian), huge windows, a balcony big enough for a table where i can have breakfast in the sun and a chaise where i can tan and relax, and a beautiful view. a fancy bathroom with beautiful tiles or a mosaic, a bath tub is mandatory. and i’d like a walk-in closet

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? — i think i’ve settled where i like, but who knows!

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? — not exactly, like when i realized paris felt like home i thought ‘so maybe i have no idea what i want to do with my life, but at least i know where i wanna be’ so that’s it

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? — probably tunisia, but i’ve recently been to normandy and i feel like i left a piece of my heart there, i feel like it’s going to be a special place for me, where i’ll go back often and make memories, if that makes sense

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? — i think last night (when i started replying to this) simply because i was having fun w a friend. i’m not in a bad mood now but it’s like normal, plus i’m talking to my mom bc my grandma broke her foot so there’s stress in the air 

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? — ooooh just last night i dreamed that i was babysitting the kids i used to babysit until last year, they had two houses and they were old enough to be alone in one of them as i cleaned the other, which i didn’t have to do tho bc the floor was already wet as if someone had just cleaned it, which made me happy! i then had to wash some dishes but the kids arrived and we started eating leftovers

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? — (mom, dad, brother (2 years younger than me) and luna, fluffy, fat, adorably mean huge cat, she’s 15 but super healthy (except for neurotically licking her own belly so much that she has no hair there -.-), she’s our love) i had read what does your family look like gjgjgffjgfkgkgkgmfmgkk sorryyyy luckily i checked. well then in that case my wife, two kids (ideally the eldest is a girl and then a boy but like gender is a social construct you know) and definitely a cat or two 

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? — i do! no, i don’t think so. sometimes i think about how names are just names and like... we’re people beyond that but at the same time i feel like i am my name, you know? so i’m cool with it and i couldn’t see myself w another 

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? — the one that comes out of bakeries, like fresh bread or cakes, so distinctive and warming... mlmlmlml

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? — i love tea in general, but black rose & vanilla tea is my absolute fav

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? — i don’t have a green thumb, i think, but peonies first of all 

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? — probably, idk if i’d show my face bc i think i’d feel weird, but maybe after a while if i get comfortable? why not? you get a community who cares about you and most of all the chance to distract / entertain people and maybe even help them through hard times. ...and gifts djgjgkgkkgjk

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. — gjgkhkhk a challenge but i appreciate it, i can’t be all words and no facts about body positivity. it’s minute, slightly curvy, decently toned, stronger than it looks, and it’s healthy 

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? — i see a light blue sky, my feet sink in the grass but just a bit, the grass is not extremely high (otherwise i’d freak about there being insects that i can’t notice), on the horizon it looks like a pastel colored painting bc there’s flowers. i hear the birds singing and the sound of a light breeze

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? — i can’t complain, but a job would be grand (i mean... i don’t really want to work and i don’t think that’s what makes you accomplished as a person, but it’s capitalism baby)

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? — japan, mexico, tanzania. yes for the last one bc i know someone who’s just moved there and she invited me and my mom to go visit. 

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? — italian bc i’m italian and french bc i live in france... sadly no others, but i want to. i’ve always wanted to learn arabic or japanese, but maybe i’ll start w something simpler and more similar to what i know already

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? — i can’t choose one, i have too many that touched my life at the time i read them and made me go like wow, this is my fave. i’ll mention: the red and the black by stendhal, the enchanted mountain by thomas mann, persuasion by jane austen, the remains of the day and never let me go by ishiguro, the trilogy of the city of k by agota kristoff...

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? — i’ll start a book called sorcières (witches) and i’m curious and excited about it, i’ll let you know

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? — the holy trinity of my happy go to movies: monster in law, mean girls and the devil wears prada

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? — going to the gym!

umber; have you drank enough water today? — the day has just started and i’ve had two cups of tea. i try to stick to 2lt per day, but i’ve not been able to do it recently, which i plan to change.

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? — ghgkhkgkfkgk i thought for a second this was about a clothing store outlet. normally i try and talk it out w one of my friends, my mom or brother if it’s very serious or not something i wanna burden my friends with, but i also distract myself with some tv show or (yay capitalism -.-) retail therapy 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. — a nice chat w a friend, an exhausting workout, finding (or being suggested) new music that i immediately feel myself getting obsessed with, saying yes to spontaneous, last minute plans and really enjoying myself although i often have that moment of ‘i don’t want to go’, being sent photos or memes 

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? — probably something that ‘golden ochre’ said to me... but also something that really warms my heart is when my friend eleonora says that i’m the smartest person she knows and like... really means it. i don’t think she’s right, it’s not even about the compliment per se, but that’s she’s so serious when she says it, it makes me happy

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? — light grey parisian skies, a pink sunrise over the sea, glittery makeup... glittery everything tbh, notebooks filled w memories - pressed flowers, cinema tickets, photos of places i loved... mermaids, fluffy cats, pastel colors, tiny gold jewelry, a decadent buffet, a bouquet of peonies, huge empty beaches, a walk-in closet filled with incredible clothes, lana del rey x vogue italia june 2019

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! — fhgjgkgkg this is the most recent, closest thing i have to a selfie that’s not w some other people. it’s from pride and i was happy of my rainbow eye makeup but it doesn’t even show... sorryyyyy 

thank you for asking all of theseeee ♡