#but the rest never made sense to me
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Surely, surely there are spells that dust, clean, scrub bathrooms, wash clothing? House elves can do it with a snap of their fingers, wizards can do it just as easily with a wave of their wand.
So why do house elves clean dorms and do laundry at Hogwarts? There’s only one explanation:
It has nothing to do with how easy the task is, and everything to do with it actually getting done. In other words, teenagers.
Living in dorms with other teenagers.
At some point in Hogwarts history, there had to have been teenagers running around in three week old uniform shirts and genuinely not realising it was a problem.
Like, it had to be bad enough that someone decided it was enough of an issue to call a meeting about it. House elves have been washing Hogwarts uniforms on a nightly basis ever since.
#House elves in the kitchens make sense#food being the primary exception to Gamp’s Law#but the rest never made sense to me#this is all mostly a joke#like we’ve all been teenagers and puberty is rough#shoutout to anyone who’s ever walked into a year 8 locker bay and made it out alive#anyone who went to a co-ed high school#*shudders*#let’s spare a thought for the poor Hogwarts kids with no guidance#a dorm of boys with no present parental figures to suggest they maybe try showering a bit more frequently for the next few years#also who’s teaching them to shave?#like are they all running around with those little sparse beards?#until they go home for the holidays and hopefully have a living father figure to show them?#that seems like a bit of a gamble given the survival rate of parents in the wizarding world#Hogwarts#Harry Potter#marauders era#marauders
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making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me
anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.
but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.
and she’s so, so sorry.
they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.
he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.
unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.
especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.
harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?
he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”
famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”
and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.
we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.
and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.
there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.
amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.
but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.
and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.
he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.
even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.
it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one’s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.
he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.
one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.
#harvey specter#mike ross#donna paulsen#marvey#suits#suits usa#suits tv#listen uhhh sorry this got so long??? i take no responsibility that this ran away from me you are warned now this is what happens when#you get me started on a story idea hdhdhd#of course mike realises what he’s done and how STUPID he was about it all and he runs back to harvey attempting to fix it all#not at all expecting the two children in the condo#and when harvey tells him everything and mike realises the damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused he doesn’t know if he can fix it#if he can make it right. if he even deserves another chance at this because shit harvey i’m so sorry. i didn’t know. god i’m such an idiot#knowing donna was hurting it made me panic but realising that you were hurting even more just… god. you didn’t deserve that. i’m so sorry. ‘#and harvey gives him a sad smile because he’s known all along that mike was in his head about it and that he was being stupid and self-#sacrificial. only that he didn’t just sacrifice himself but harvey too. and he had hoped GOD had he hoped that mike would come back to him.#‘can i come in? i’d understand if you never wanna see me again though’ mike asks and harvey opens the door with a shrug. ‘course you can.’#and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about charlie and elias. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about#selene. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey looks up and wraps his arms around mike because he doesn’t want to hear it but he does#not want to let go of him either. never wants to let him go again. they cry a little bit about it. but it’s okay because mike wipes his#tears away and harvey lets him before resting their foreheads together. ‘don’t leave again’ he tells him. ‘i won’t’ mike promises.#and he doesn’t. and their family gets a bit more fragile then but also stronger for it. somehow it makes sense.
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My personal Theory/Headcanon for the seasonal courts in acotar
I like to think that the seasonal court’s actually do have seasons, its just not as varied as normal seasons.
for example (i will be using our months and for reference i live in the northern hemisphere)
Spring- During the typical spring months (march-may) its very well. spring. Very average spring temps at 50-60 Fahrenheit, lots of spring showers but low humidity, very misty in the morning. Now in summer (june-mid september) it gets a bit more humid, temps peaking at probably 80-ish, theres less rain-showers but when it does rain its very dramatic storms. Fall (mid september-mid november) is similar to typical spring, its the period where plants start to ‘die off’ and stuff starts fresh. it gets a bit colder but never super cold and humidity goes back down. Winter (november-february) is the coldest with lows in roughly the 40s, its very foggy in the mornings and early afternoon.
#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#sarah j maas#sjm#seasonal courts#spring court#i have ideas for the rest but spring court inspired me#Because just one static state for the courts never made sense beacuse theres lots of different types of seasons i guess#like the dark damp springs and not just bright flowery springs#you know what i mean#i may be biased tho cause spring is my favorite season#i just think it adds some interesting depth#tamlin#acotar theories#acotar headcanons
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what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you’ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that
#at this point I’m begging people to see the overlap with adhd too bc anecdotally it seems like everyone I know also has that#and the overlap with bpd and hpd but I think the main difference is. being stuck in that high energy state. even when the energy turns sad#and bitter and hopeless. it’s essentially just overstimulation from your own brain. gets stuck overstimulating itself to cope maybe?#like i know people say it’s not triggered by life events but they sometimes can trigger it. but imho depression is gonna trigger it too#eventually. anything where everything is Too Much can start the positive feedback loop that’s almost impossible to turn off#which if you don’t know what a positive feedback loop is. means smth triggers smth which goes back and triggers its original trigger#thus getting bigger and bigger in magnitude. it’s like the chicken and the egg. egg makes chicken and chicken makes egg. more egg more#chicken and more chicken more egg. as opposed to a negative feedback loop which by the time there gets enough of smth it stops triggering#making more of it. your body relies on negative feedback loops for smth called homeostasis which is basically keeping everything stable#so obv positive feedback loops are gonna do the opposite of stable. in this case for your energy and your mood#most people are able to sleep better when they’re tired. my hypothesis of hypomania is when being tired makes you less able to rest#and that obviously spirals in on itself. mania would just be an extension of that I guess? but in some people it does happen really fast so#I get the narrative that it’s a chemical imbalance bc it is. but the specific imbalance being the tendency to a positive feedback loop make#more sense to me too. and can be why predictability and external cycles to ground yourself to are so important#there’s also never a 0% chance of you ever having a manic episode btw. anyones brain can theoretically get into this loop it’s just that if#you’re genetically predisposed to bipolar you’re much more likely to! and that’s okay. you can manage it with meds and lifestyle#but it makes sense why lowering stress (which can trigger this cycle) is such an important part of treatment and management#anyway. hopefully I’m not like. horribly horribly wrong or smth. in the end I can only speak for my experience so lmk if I’m missing smth#bipolar awareness#bipolar 2#hypomania#personal mental health tag#neurodivergence#would you believe I was reminiscing about a concert I went to once. and it made me think of all this
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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taylor swift lyrics that keep u up at night?
*takes a deep breath*
remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.
(oversharing in the tags)
#i know it's not the most obvious choice and i think i've never talked about this line before#but i think it will keep me up at night for the rest of my life#so when i heard you're losing me for the first time i was in a very similar situation#most of you don't even know i was engaged and had the most terrible break up this year#it's easier when someone breaks up with you#it's much harder when you have to make that decision#and the hardest when you know you made this decision already but you're not sure if it's actually the time...#and i feel like both taylor and i knew it was the only option but we were never 100% sure if it's time to go#if that makes sense#i did eventually#i still remember moving into our apartment 3+ years ago when we were still happy#and then spending last six months of our relationship alone in this apartment knowing it's going nowhere and i have to leave eventually#and moving out in june to my own small cozy place i live in now#but i never even got closure#so i still didn't fully recover#and it will haunt me forever#trust me this line always makes me cry#ugh#sorry for that#i still miss him sometimes even tho he was a bad person#thanks for the ask tho#i feel like i wanted to say all of that long ago and you just gave me a perfect opportunity to do that#so i'm grateful ❤️#yes i got your letter yes i'm doing better*
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the red flag in me wishes the father is not logan, not jess but the wookie.
#i know it’s not possible bc of the timeline#but asp timelines have never made sense anyway#anything to make her not connected to logan for the rest of her life#also jess as the father is the worst idea ever#don’t even get me started#gilmore girls asks#gilmore girls#rory gilmore#a year in the life#gilmore girls ayitl#rory’s baby daddy#teddypickerry
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Song of the Day: March 27
"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks
#song of the day#I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs#this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere#(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive'#turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy)#the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it#but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc#it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work#'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul#now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash#they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone'#it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context#because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002#so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time#versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way'#(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right)#already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang#(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country#and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me)#and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time#(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process)#and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up#that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense#no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall#not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft'#but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry#a very good righteous-anger song
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I found an old journal from 10+ years ago and remebered I wrote down some of my OG Créa bg ideas and world building and it was SO amusing to look through bc I was only JUST dipping my toes into tolkien and had NO clue how to navigate lore. I had decent ideas to build on but it’s sooooooo funny being like “damn wtf is this girl this doesn’t work at all” and is somewhat embarrassing but still makes me smile and see how far I’ve come.
#now I’m the lore freak that literally everyone comes to for questions and advice#I love answering questions and delving into lore and working (and breaking) canon#it was SO funny th#bc I always forget but Créa was originally Dúnedain before she was ever a ranger! and it made way more sense later on for her to be a range#*ranger#but I also always had it that she died in her early 20’s so. I never explored it much until a few years later and the rest is history#I’m glad I got to let Créa live and flourish and explore her character in these last 10 years#and I am so lucky to have had so many friends and talented writers who took a chance on me to write with me#and still do!
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#Creepy chatter#My yeehaw school required every one of us to be musical little babies#You could spot the choir kids bc they never were hauling instrument cases#And we had like monthly concerts since every student was guaranteed to be in band choir or orchestra#I remember my mom heavily suggesting I pick smth small like a flute on instrument day#And I came home with a trombone as big as me like :3#I could only practice at school tho lmao...my poor mom was only thinking of our neighbors in the building#Then I ended up doubling up w french horn after riding as 1st chair trombone for a year and a half#I was 1st chair frenchie for the rest of middle school but I think trombone was more fun#French horn is definitely prettier to me though#String instruments have never made sense to me but boy howdy can I toot
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there is not enough 92sies sprace. i know what you all are doing. 92sies fans did not get on their knees and pick up crumbs to ship spot and race for the rest of us to run off with it and apply it to livesies where not only do they not even directly interact, but fanon prefers because they find the actors more attractive, and then proceed to boil their characters down to 1-2 traits each and ship them in a weird almost f/tishy "dumb feminine man x angry masculine man" way. guys this is a class war not the yaoi war.
#& dont get me wrong NOT all sprace content is like this. it's just Enough#i know this is gonna be controversial but as much as i love sprace ive finally realized why a lot of the fan content doesnt appeal to me#or is just straight up uncomfortable#and it kind of goes with the sexification of funny characters in general which race has fallen victim to#in which ppl remove their depth; give them more sex appeal; and add a pinch of frat boy to the mixture#to make this unhinged sexful comic relief#now im just as in love with btc as the rest of yall but race fell victim to this because he was in the proshot and ppl were attracted 2 him#which is fine#BUT leads to a lot of like.#misinterpretation of his character or just heavily exaggerating certain aspects that made him initially attractive to ppl#which then ends up consuming fanon like a poisoned water supply#it's kinda a variation of sexymanification. fanon making a character stereotypically queer but in a way that is attractive and consumable#and completely overtakes canon aspects of the character. it is not inherently f*tishy but it can definitely acquire those vibes#source: kuroo tetsurou warrior who survived 2016 era haikyuu fandom#92sies sprace is a funny rarepair while livesies sprace is like when the bbc sherlock fandom shipped lestrade and mycroft for no reason#but with the vibes of the ppl who Made Up A Man to ship moriarty with. does that make sense.#the never-interacted rarepair mixed with the yaoiful (derogatory) vibes of 'if this man has no one to ship with i'll just make one myself'#and again i dont think all (livesies) sprace content falls victim to this nor do all people Intend to characterize them this way#i can totally get Not realizing you're portraying them this way until someone points it out#and i couldnt even articulate why i didn't like a lot of sprace content until i saw some passing mentions of this like. An Hour ago#newsies#sprace#dontlistento me
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book 5 of the year done!!!! im literally one book away from halfway to my goal and the first month of the year isn't even over yet fjsksk i am DEFINITELY going to hit it this year!
#SUUUUPER bummed to say tho that ive made it to the first book of the year i havent enjoyed :/#the worst part is — its the first in a series apparently and like. i WANT to know what happens next#but also i dont CARE enough to want to keep reading the rest of the series yknow?#like. this first book was just SOOOO disjointed#it was ALL exposition#it spent 500 pages giving individual backstories for each of the characters. as in each character l i t e r a l l y told their story#which first of all absolutely BORING way to get to know your characters and second of all NONE od these characters were even likeable!!!#and the worldbuilding was just. weird. it kind of didnt make sense and felt all over the place#and FULLY felt like he was just throwing random sci-fi-y words around to make it sound cooler but like. it wasnt.#and like all these characters are together on this pilgrimage right#but it is NEVER really revealed why/what they plan to do when they get to their end destination/anything like that#and im between each of these character backstories it feels like the same stuff one person is like oh wow what a story lets get some sleep#and then they do and they wake up and they do the tiniest bit of traveling#(which is like. described in the most lackluster barebones way) and then they eat and share another story and rinse and repeat#it was SO boring#it honestly reminded me of the movie the eternals LMAO#all these characters and you get to know a little about them but not enoguh to become invested and none of them are all that interesting#and the purpose of their journey/the purpose of THEM is completely unknown is completely devoid#like it felt like there was no plot#it was. ough not good.#so yeah would NOT recommend hyperion by dan simmons :/#mack reads
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future for scientist, bound for cadaver, and monster for both of them? 🤔
future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?
SO unfortunately for scientist i think the worst outcome for her is. achieving immortality FJNFJFN despite that being the one thing shes working towards yk. i think deepdown she knows this but shes still pursuing it bc shes basically in denial abt it... i think her being immortal would rly enhance some of her worst traits. like she already feels disconnected/dofferent/isolated from other people (which is partially why shes pursuing immortality in the first place) but if she got it it would just be. soooo much worse. i truly believe if she did become immortal shed fuck off to like. the most isolated place on earth and shed never talk to another person ever again. Which she might think is a good thing but it absolutely would not be
bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?
soo this one is difficult bc cadavers backstory im changing my mind on it majorly atm... previously i did have him being arrested and held in prison for a while and then being broken out/recaptured by scientist but im not sure if i still want all that .. the like. nature of his ... Whole thing has changed a lot since i originally came up with her so im not sure if that still works. like it Could but idk... so this one is a bit of a weird question to answer atm bc i havent fully decided yet... i suppose depending on how much control you view cadaver as having you could say like. living with scientist is imprisonment but i do think if cadaver actually wanted to get out it probably could. SO idk... also scars r also being reconsidered in my mind bc previously i had him Getting scars but now im not sure if that actually makes sense with the healing thing... but the issue is one of the main reasons i made him is bc i think autopsy scars r cool 😭😭😭 so i dont know...
monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?
scientist: YAY so i think scientist has always felt inherently other. but i think meeting cadaver RLY changed her for the worst like. she literally regularly murders another person. and yeah he gets better but you dont just like... even if its not permanent you cant just become ok with killing someone without being a little bit off. yk. i think physically shes human (unless i decide that she Does take on the whole possession thing. constant flipflopping in connorland) but i think mentally she goes from being like. kind of a misanthropic loner to being like. she basically simultaneously views cadaver as an ideal that shes jealous of (bc he has the one thing she wants, and bc she feels a sort of connection w it bc they have like.. similar but different motivations. yk...). and if the only person youve ever felt any sort of similarity to is a corpse possessed by ambiguous force i dont think youre like . you know ...
cadaver: so this is soo fun bc ive actually been considering having cadaver a bit more monstrous like. physically. bc obviously shes not human anymore BUT i think itd be fun if the possession had some physical effects on him... currently he just has the extreme healing/resurrection abilities but id imagine hed probably have some sort of enhanced strength as well. and i just love when possession has a physical component... but yes. EMOTIONALLY i think cadaver is weirdly in denial abt being a monster. like. i think she views the original part of her the one that died as like. the monstrous one. it feels more human now that its possessed bc prior to her death she was like. Somewhat similar to scientist in that she was very isolated but it was less of a choice if this makes sense. like scientist consciously isolates herself from ppl bc she just Assumes that they arent like. sorry im turning this into being about scientist again DJFNJF cadaver go lay at the bottom of the pool or something im busy. but yk she has that like. a view of herself thats seperate from other people/from humanity so she just doesnt bother talking to other people bc she assumes they would never understand. yk. so it is A choice to isolate from ppl (altho she also like..does not have social skills at all. as a result of this choice. so yk...) but w cadaver cadaver was alllways desperate for connection but in a like. rather than searching for One specific like. Unattainable kind of connection he wanted anything. and thats why she was so enthusiastic abt the connection bc it meant there would always be like. Someone. yk. and obv post connection shes a lot more like. confident and Able to make friends despite being physically more disconnected from humanity if this makes sense. so yes. i think cadaver is Literally more monstrous than scientist but i dont think thats how he feels abt himself at all.
link to ask game!
#i hope this makes sense i rambled so bad i love thinking abt like. their views of themselves. yk..#the parallels between predeath cadaver and scientist r rly rly fascinating to me which is funny bc I made them up DJFNFJFN but like.#bc w scientist like. her motivation for immortality is bc she wants to know Everything. she wants to transcend like. humanity and she wants#fully seperate herself from the human part of herself that shes always hated. which is the part that Wants connection and wants to feel#understood. she basically wants to be a robot or a god or something like that. yk. a part of her wants to remain human and the rest of her#Hates that part. yk. whereas w cadaver her immortality motivation was kind of like. tbh the immortality was a side effect NDNFJFNF he was#just like Ooh boy a thing who lives in my head who will intrinsically get me and never leave me and well be together forever. And bonus will#help me talk to people and everyone will love me and view me as a god. YAYYYY YAYYYY. and then the immortality is just kind of another bonus#bc w cadaver it just loves like. attention. and being seen in ANY way. so post death i think likeee. bc of its immortality other ppl tend to#revere it . yk. its personality is sort of magnetic despite the feeling of it judt being like. off. yk. i think that fulfills the need and#it kind of doesnt care that its like. they still dont actually understand him yk. hes still An other to them. she just views it as adoration#which is what it wants. you know. i think theres a partnof cadaver that still feels empty and longs for like. Genuine care#if this makes any sense at all. BUT YA IDK. THIS MAY MAKE NOOO SENSE AT ALL. the ramblerrr
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no, no, because imagine. we get a shot of eddie looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. he touches his mustache and sighs. the next shot is someone knocking on the door of the loft. buck opens it, and it's eddie on the other side, freshly shaven and finally ready to acknowledge what buck means to him
#im so ready for eddies arc in season 8#we get the mustache (for awhile)#we get the hot priest back#we get eddie diaz in church#eddie girlies we are winning so hard this season#anyway lemme write my fanfiction in the rest of these tags#buck is like. oh hey---you shaved??#yeah. it uh was time for it to go.#buck gets them beers because ofc he does. i thought it was a yk sign of change. an eddie 2.0 kind of thing?#uh more just. idk trying it out. figuring things out. uh like a transition period i guess. that was eddie 1.5 and uh now im eddie 2.0?#and then buck watches eddie suck down like half of beer and he just looks at him with that look that always makes eddie tell him everything#and eddie says. how did you know? like how were you sure that you liked guys?#uh. i didnt? not consciously anyway. i didnt really know until tommy kissed me and then it all just kinda made sense...#right. right. so it was just always there? the uh attraction to men?#yeah. idk i thought everyone thought men were just as hot as women. i never really thought about dating men until yk i was dating one#cool. cool. and maybe eddie changes the subject. lets buck ramble his ear off for awhile before they clean up their empty bottles#and eddie catches bucks arm and looks at him and buck says. what?#kiss me#what?? eddie what?#i need to---ive been figuring things out and i need it to be you#me? why me?#cuz. cuz youre the only one i trust. the only one i want to trust. i want it to be you. i need it to be you cuz its you buck its always you#anyway buddie canon season 8
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Toji is my least favorite character.. IM SORRY TUMBLR
I just don’t think that being attractive to others makes you not evil when you do bad things-
There’s definitely people out there that only like Toji because he’s hot and good for them tbh! I personally don’t think he’s a villain because it would be hypocritical of me.
JJK has brought up how children should be allowed to be children multiple times. Nanami says it. Gojo says it. It’s easy to put this into practice when it’s Itadori or Megumi. We know these boys. We love these boys. They’re good kids.
It’s a lot harder when it’s Toji, isn’t it?
He’s not a good kid. He’s not even a kid! We see him as a grown man terrorizing our beloved hs Gojo and Geto. The jokes have a tinge of reality to them - why is he thirty beefing with high schoolers 🤨?
But Toji was a kid once too, and if I ignore that, I would feel like I’m cherry-picking the themes of JJK to suit what’s most palatable to me, as if because Toji’s harder to sympathize with, he’s less deserving. You don’t start over as a blank slate once you become an adult. What Toji is at thirty is derived from what happened to him when he was younger. If I believe in what Gojo says, that we should preserve the youth of children, then isn’t it hypocritical of me to approach Toji from a one dimensional perspective? Didn’t the Toji that was being abused by the Zenin clan as a child deserve to be saved?
It’s undeniable that he’s a pretty shitty adult. But I can’t bring myself to singlemindedly despise him ☹️ I think he’s very tragic and he breaks my heart (to care about him because I’m a Gojo stan lol).
#I’m begging you guys to stop making me defend toji sjshdisgsiv#I hope that all made sense! I’m a Gojo stan through and through so toji’s not my favorite either lol#I can’t be that mad at him when Gojo got his get back though like we’re even now#(just kidding. I will think about Riko Amanai every day for the rest of my life)#everyone else moved on but I will never forget u Riko!#also you should take everything I say with a grain of salt because I read JJK for fun#I was really banging two brain cells together trying to formulate a response as to why I’m not a die hard toji anti lmao
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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