#but the one place that love and optimism is lacking is for himself. he can't forgive himself. he can't believe in himself.

[jacks347]

I feel like hurting people so let's talk about Redacted characters fatal flaws.

David - Obligation

I was originally going to say David's flaw was loyalty but I thought that was too surface level so I dug a little deeper and found something a bit more important. David carries a heavy weight of obligation on his shoulders. He runs the pack and the security company because it's what his dad would've wanted, he works to keep the pack going because people depend on him, he only met Angel cause Caelum made him. Everything in his life is because of feels obligated to keep said things going. He didn't want to be in this situation, he doesn't want to have to work as hard as he does but he knows he has to in order to maintain everything his father left him. David takes on so much because he thinks he has to and that kind of weight will crush him eventually. He's pulling himself in so many directions, something has to give. To put it in his own words, one of these times when he throws himself at the wall it won't be the thing that breaks.

Asher - Optimism

Asher, you sweet sweet bean, your joy will be the thing that destroys you. Asher has the Polites problem (see, I know Greek characters) in where his optimism is the thing that drives the group into a far more dangerous situation. Asher's hopeful belief that they could get through the Inversion almost got him killed. He is the sunshine character, he's the one that everyone expects to be happy, he holds the morale of the pack on his shoulders and that kind of pressure would be enough to make anyone crack. How long will it be until the happy-go-lucky attitude snaps under the weight?

Milo - Dedication

It's easy to say Milo is loyal to a fault. It's hard to say he has a gravely misplaced sense of dedication. Milo feels he has something to prove, he always has. Prove to himself and the rest of the pack that he's useful, he has a place, he has a purpose in this pack. Milo has dedicated his life to proving his worth and that dedication to a harmful cause will be the thing that kills him. Hell, it already almost did. If another event like the Inversion happens, he might not make it out.

Sam - Independence

Sam is an interesting case because his need to be independent won't kill him physically as much as it will mentally. He has worked so hard to make sure other people's actions don't define him that he instinctively isolates himself. He keeps everyone at arm's length so that if and when they do something that hurts the people around them, he won't be caught in the blast radius. But that changes when he meets Darlin, someone who also keeps people at arm's length and doesn't let anyone get close. There's an argument to be made in how Sam seems himself in Darlin and that's why he felt so inclined to help them (beyond just hating Quinn) but not the point I'm making. Sam runs from problems before they can affect him and when the pack dies, he'll be stuck in a problem he can't run from. Sam may not die after the pack is gone but he will fade into the background. Sam will be lost in time, clinging to memories of a time that he let people in as those too eventually fade into the aether of history.

Vincent - Naivety

I heavily considered giving Vincent independence as his fatal flaw too cause it very well could be but we don't do doubles in this house and there is a far more deadly flaw in him and that's his naivety. Vincent is blind to his situation, he doesn't understand most of it because he's been shielded from it. He lacks understanding of what it really means to be a vampire, let alone one in such a well known house. And it's in that where we see his mistake with Lovely. Vincent turned Lovely without fully understanding his own place and therefore doesn't understand the responsibilities he's putting onto Lovely by bringing them into it. It's the blind leading the blind. This lack of real understanding I think will be what tears him apart.

Porter - Peace

Now, this one is hard to explain. How is peace a fatal flaw? Rather simply, actually. You find peace in a situation that you choose not to change. Porter is William's guard dog because he doesn't feel like he deserves to be anything more. He does as asked because he thinks it's all he good for. He had made his peace with the fact that he believes he's not worth anything more than the blood he can spill. Which is wrong and flawed. And it's in that peace in the situation he doesn't believe he deserves to change that will get him killed. If he doesn't convince himself he's worth more than this, it'll be the thing that does him in.

Gavin - Humanity

Gavin's sense of humanity may not necessarily kill him but it will cause an untold amount of pain. Gavin has distanced himself so far from the world of demons in order to choose his own path and be who he is that he's forgotten this world isn't his. Elegy owes him nothing and it'll give him as much. It's the immortal lover problem, he will survive long after Freelancer and the others are gone and it will break him. I've mentioned before that Gavin and Porter are two sides of the same character but what's interesting is how their stories seem to be going in opposite directions until they eventually switch places. When Gavin loses the people that give him a sense of humanity, he will fall to what he believes he has to be in order to survive while Porter is learning that he can be more than what's expected of him and will hold that sense of pride I believe long after Treasure is gone.

Escaped, you're next. Prepare.

[alagaesia-headcanons]

I genuinely love Eragon, I think he's a good person, but his attitude towards Murtagh specifically has this distinct, almost cold lack of empathy. And it's strange he feels like that in this particular situation because Murtagh's fate- his capture, his torture, his dragon used like a hostage, their enslavement- that exact fate in its entirety is bearing down on Eragon through the whole story. Because that's exactly what would happen to Eragon if he's ever captured. That fate is snapping at his heels; it gets close enough to draw blood. Yet Eragon tends to act like he's above Murtagh's situation. He looks on it with pity, but also disgust, all with an air of distance and separation. There's never a horrified realization that this is what's waiting for him if Galbatorix captures him.

For that reason, I think Eragon's lack of empathy for Murtagh stems in part from a rather desperate optimism. He refrains from considering the worst possibilities to avoid despair over what he can't control. But that leads to this jarring disregard for the suffering of a man he is irrevocably connected to. Murtagh is a mirror of Eragon, reflecting what would become of him if the king ever gets his hands on him. Eragon is not above this; he is, in fact, so terrifyingly vulnerable to it. Even as he fails to imagine himself in Murtagh's place and understand him in that way, Eragon is the one most likely to end up in that place.

That alone should warrant empathy, but Murtagh is more than just a mirror. Eragon's luck has not held out, he has not been fortunate enough to outright avoid what Murtagh fell victim to, and the singular reason he's been spared that fate is Murtagh himself. Three times. Once outside of Dras Leona when he rescues him from the Ra'zac, again in Gil'ead when he'd been captured by Durza, and a third time on the Burning Plains when he lets him go despite his orders. Murtagh saves Eragon from capture, torture, and enslavement under Galbatorix and he does it over and over. Murtagh simultaneously exemplifies the worst fate Eragon could suffer while singlehandedly protecting him from it. And Eragon never once acknowledges it.

[doctorprofessorsong]

Destiel Fic Recs

It's that time of year where nobody knows what day it is or how they got there, so why not hide from your family/boss to read Destiel fics. And friends, this last list of 2022 may be the best so far.

The Leap by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 82k words)

I don't know how to explain the way 91W lit up my brain like one of those old electricity balls at Spencer's but I thought I would never have that experience again until this fic came along. It's a very different, much softer story, but this fic has the 91W vibes that make you want to crunch on your own bones (vintage gay sadness is the tag we live in here). Its so deeply rooted in a sense of place and time. Dean and Cas are so clearly and immediately bonded and kept apart by circumstance. The longing y'all. The way they can't help but fall in love at the risk of their lives and freedom. It's gorgeous.

The fic is set in post WWII occupied Berlin in a divided Germany just before the wall goes up. Cas is a closeted police officer in East Berlin, trying his best to survive under a brutal dictatorship in an environment in which reporting your neighbors is not just encouraged, but expected. Dean is an American-born mechanic residing in West Berlin. For both of them, falling in love with a man could mean arrest, prosecution, and worse.

But they can't help the instant attraction between them. Neither of them is ready to walk away from the hope of a future together, as impossible of a dream as that is.

Beyond the 91W vibes, the thing about this fic is that the canon parallels are just so beautiful. Cas is expected to comply with a rigid hierarchy and to obey absolutely. Dean is trying his best to find optimism for those around him, and he has an irresistible early seasons charm and brashness that makes you fall instantly in love with him. And while there is period homophobia and oppression in this fic, FriendofCarlotta also pulls so much queer joy into the story. A slice of gorgeous community built against all odds and euphoria at finding love and family and shelter in the most hostile of places.

This story made me ugly cry (a true feat) and it's one of those stories you finish and consider turning back to Chapter 1 and reading it all over again. Seriously. Go read it then yell at me about it.

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog @awed-frog (Mature, 60k)

This is the fic you have to read in one sitting because you don't want to be crushed by a falling desk like in Mystery Spot and never see the ending. It is gorgeous in a way that I think may have irrevocably changed me. A testament to love and devotion that left me absolutely breathless.

Cas, Angel of Tears, is assigned to watch over the lives of two brothers, tied together and experiencing hundreds of lifetimes of sorrow and joy in preparation for some mysterious Heavenly plan. His mission is to watch over a green-eyed boy, to guide him into each next life. The human doesn't know, doesn't remember (mostly), but it's impossible to ignore the growing bond between them. Cas finds himself inexorably changed by watching the many lives he experiences.

This is a canon fic (and tbh if you don't know canon the middle is going to confuse you because it's a reimagining of canon events with this context). That means awed-frog has somehow managed to make the crunchy Destiel scenes even more heart wrenching (extra crispy?).

This fic had me crying by Chapter 2. It's just a beautiful sweeping epic. And it does have a soft and beautiful landing. I will be thinking about it for awhile.

Märchen by tiamatv (Mature, 93k)

Fairy tale princess Dean Winchester. That's the delightful headline for this really fun and inventive fic. Dean of Winchester is the eldest prince but he lacks magic, making his brother the heir. What else do you do with a spare but promise to marry him off for political reasons, in this case to Michael, an Angel from a neighboring kingdom who lent his swords to Winchester to defeat the demons.

But Dean isn't gonna be some kept pretty thing, so he shocks everyone by saying no. Michael won't marry Dean without his consent, but that term is used very loosely, as angels do. So Dean is locked in a tower full of monsters where he is cursed to remain until he consents or finds his true love.

It's a tale as old as time (yes I said that), but there are some delightfully fresh elements. From Charlie the dragon princess (marry me, Charlie) to a sentient carnivorous hedge, the quirky characters make this fic impossible to put down. There are also some delightful genre choices such as an omnipotent narrator that make this fic feel comforting yet fresh.

In the end, you will be rooting for the angel knight and his prince to slay their inner demons.

A Crash Course in Computer Safety by followthattardis @debatchery (Explicit, 29k)

I love a good fusion and as a fan of the show Chuck, this Chuck Destiel AU absolutely slaps. If you are unfamiliar with the show, it's still an absolutely fun ride. Dean is stuck working at a Best Buy rip off as essentially a member of the Geek Squad. His life is in shambles after his best friend got him expelled from Stanford and stole his girlfriend, but he's making due.

That is until a mysterious email from his ex best friend throws him into a world of intrigue. Suddenly he's got the CIA and the NSA breathing down his neck. Even worse, he has to pretend to be dating the scorching hot CIA operative as a cover.

The Destiel feels are surprisingly potent for a mash-up, and the story is paced so well you won't want to put it down. Bonus points for perfect use of Henriksen.

Buckle up and cue up Short Skirt-Long Jacket by Cake.

The Shadow in the Corner by MalMuses @malmuses (Explicit, 47k)

I don't know that there are many fic writers who excel so thoroughly at classic romance as MalMuses. Her fics bring such a fantastic mix of horny, humor and softness. This one is no exception.

A Victorian steampunk story, this one is set in an alternative timeline where magic is known and the MOL openly fight monsters. Dean aka the Red Hand is tasked with a special investigation - to solve why a monster seems to be targeting the head of the agency's little brother, Castiel.

There's a good bit if mystery and intrigue, but the the headline for me was the delightful way Dean and Cas were both very aware of this instant connection and slowly orbiting each other as gravity pulled them closer. There's a softness to their relationship and it's largely external angst that keeps them apart as long as they are, but you never doubt that they are entirely gone for one another. Yes they suffer from perpetual horniness around each other, but its also very clear they genuinely like each other in a way that melted my cold dead heart.

In the end, a fun read with an exceptionally satisfying ending.

4:08 to Tombstone by Zuzeca (Explicit, 20k)

Cas is a Seraph with a mission: to save Dean Winchester, to retrieve the Michael Sword from Hell. But Dean perceives Hell not as it is, but instead as the wild west. Thrown into a bisexual cowboy fantasy, Cas has to navigate a dangerous escape while protecting this beautiful soul from those who would destroy it.

This fic is an absolute treasure. Amazing trueform angel descriptions, some gorgeous treatment of Dean’s Hell trauma, and a poignant bond between Dean and Cas that makes it a really sweet read (though mind the tags it gets dark). Its a really fun and novel take on the escape from Hell.

All That Remains by DoctorProfessorSong (Mature, 16k)

I am going to be annoying and self-rec here but I just released a fic I am super proud of. It's bittersweet and emotional and I poured my grief and parts of my soul into it. The tags are daunting but I do think it ends in a satisfying and hopeful place.

The stabfest story examines a canon divergent world where Dean is turned into a demon by the MOC, and Cas is forced to kill him to free him. He has a plan to save Dean, but it fails and Dean makes a deal with the Shadow to escape the Empty. The same deal as Cas. What follows is a reinterpretation of canon where both of them are unable to speak the truth because they risk losing it all.

It's a story about love and loss and hope. And perhaps most importantly it's a story about faith, not as some cheap fix-all, but as something that you hold in your heart in the darkest places.

Tag list below the cut. Let me know if you want to be tagged in future lists.

@varlysca @naturallyathief @greatbigbuggerer @fandoms-and-things @cascodedtech @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @deanwasalwaysbi @fellshish @valleydean @raspberry-tooth @the15yearhatecrime

[farewellsickle]

a guy will make a self insert specifically to make sure his favorite guy gets the love and care he needs . anyhow

this is Death Sickle, preferably known as Sickle! a ratman human who has been surviving in the Greater Canadian woods for... must have been over a decade by now. don't cringe too hard at his name, he was named by a literal eight year old. nonetheless.

by a stroke of luck and coincidence, he stumbles upon Robert the day after he escaped the Ivory household, and has been his caretaker since. he didnt always have a bandaged up hand; Robert bit him so hard he had to stitch himself up and apply bandages. hopefully this injury doesn't give him issues later...

post-Lucid21, Robert suffers from cognitive issues (memory loss, motor function, thought cloudiness, etc) as a result of losing his connection to the ratmen, and must rely on Sickle to help with communication, healing injuries, food and water. he's slowly gaining lucidity back, but the trauma of Lucid21 still affects him greatly - difficult sleep, fear of the dark and wide / open spaces.

he initially takes an existentialist / nihilist mindset - why bother do anything if there's no point - but quickly changes it when in the presence of another person who isn't a part of him. he isn't sure how to deal with his new life situation. went from fighting for his life just to die - to being waited on and cared for by a stranger. new philosophy: figure out what to do with his newly singular life.

Sickle as a person is very pessimistic and cynical, he can't see optimism or positives. additionally he tends to get frustrated very easily and lash out, but always feels extreme guilt afterwards, usually overcompensating to feel like things are "okay" again. he hasn't seen another conscious / lucid person in years, so mind him if he seems loud crass and overbearing. he can't lose the one friend he's allowed to have.

at first he is annoyed with having to care for Robert. having only ever known a master/pet dynamic, he thinks of Robert as a "pet" he must care for. but he ultimately values Robert's presence, however meager, more than he values his resources. he would put his life on the line to make sure someone knew he existed and died. theme: a loneliness is a fate greater than death.

attached below will just be more art of them :3 i also have a "whiteboard bible" where im writing down everything to do with them because. im obsessed. TW for self harm past the bible area (i allowed my beloved mutuals to draw freely in the same whiteboard)

thank u for reading about my goobers

Robert is NAWT a smoker so it takes him a few to get used to it. despite running low on cigarettes, Sickle insists on teaching him to smoke, if not for the associated "skills" (holding breath, igniting a lighter). Robert still prefers to drink.

i actually think Robert can hold his alcohol moderately well, he only got so drunk in canon because he was on an empty stomach

for a good few weeks, Sickle lacks the appropriate first aid materials to treat Robert's eye injury, having used the last of his bandages to patch up his hand. he uses scraps to place over Robert's eye. he has a small scrap bandage that he tears up for Robert's clean bandages.

after scavenging some clean and sterile medical supplies, Sickle changes Robert's bandages, ensures he finally has somewhat proper clean medical treatment and changes his bandages. "these are supposed to be changed out every day, or you risk infection." Robert's attention is drawn to Sickle's bandaged hand. he never saw them get changed even once.

[nayialovecat]

Mane 6 new generation (en+pl)

I'm sick and bored, so I decided to rate the new Mane 6 out of boredom. Remember, this is my review - you have the right to disagree with it, but respect it!

First, a little reminder of how I rate the Mane 6 from the previous generation:

Twilight Sparkle - she was better without the wings (kidding), I actually like her a lot, even if she was neurotic at times. Or that's why. In character, she most resembled me, especially in trying to reconcile social maladjustment and introversion with the role of a leader. I also like her colours.

Pinkie Pie - die, pink horse and never come back... Seriously, I can count on one hand the number of episodes with this fucked up mare that I liked! But I like her absurdly Amish family. The only thing I like about her appearance is her functional hair that acts like a fifth limb.

Rarity - my favourite mare. She has all the qualities I value most in others: hard work, generosity, ambition and a rich imagination. She also shares many traits with me, including a tendency to dramatize. And I love her design.

Applejack - I like her for similar reasons as Rarity, plus she's from the countryside, values ​​family ties and has the overprotective older sister syndrome. My characteristics. She also has a big plus for freckles.

Rainbow Dash - most of the time she annoyed me as much as Pinkie Pie, especially when she showed a lack of loyalty (her own element!). I don't like poseurs and liars, but sometimes she was okay. I don't like her look - I understand why she's blue, but that mane would look nicer with some other fur colour.

Fluttershy - my second favorite filly! What I liked most was that she was true to herself. And her shipping with Discord - Nayia likes this! And her colour combination is charmingly pastel.

+ Spike - poor little pony slave. I have nothing against the character himself, but his attitude in the group always irritated me - he was something between a sidekick, a pet, and a slave and it irritated me the hell out of him. I was waiting for the moment when he would start to be respected. It wasn't happen. He has purple and green colours - a plus, although as an adult it becomes quite unattractive (in all his versions).

And now the next generation Mane 6! (yes, Mane 6 - if I spoiled this to anyone at this point, I'm sorry...)

Sunny Starscout - too Mary Sue at times. She has contradictory character traits, as if the creators didn't know whether she should be shy or brave, intelligent or stupid. Which is why, from my point of view, he has at least schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder. I don't like it or the design - somehow I don't like the combination of orange and magenta.

Hitch Trailblazer - yay, it's guy! Finally a guy among the main characters! I really like the character of Hitch in the first film, I also like his design - but from the moment he finds and hatches this stupid egg, something strange happens to him and he becomes another schizophrenic. I get that he couldn't be normal being friends with Sunny, but seriously?

Izzy Moonbow - I miss Pinkie Pie... I can't describe why I don't like Izzy so much - she looked cool, I like that she's a bit of a combination of Pinkie's chaoticism and optimism with Rarity's talent, but why does it have to be a total comic relief? Couldn't she be a little more serious? In fact, the entire unicorn race is kind of fucked up in this generation... I only tolerate the singing chick and the big guy from the tea shop. A big plus for Izzy's design - a beautiful combination of colours and wonderful mane and tail. I love.

Zipp Storm - I didn't think something like this would happen and the pony who replaced Rainbow Dash would do it, but officially... Zipp is my favourite from G5 Mane 6! She may be a bit obsessive in places, but she's lovely about it. She is a princess, but she has her own passions, she has the makings of a detective, and she practices parkour! She is what I would like to be if it weren't for my health problems (except maybe being a princess). I like the wings in her design, but the colors and hair look are a bit meh.

Pipp Petals - let me start with her appearance - since she had to look like one of the others, I would rather have her look like her sister than Izzy. I don't like her design. Or the structure of her wings. Am I the only one who thinks that Pipp would have gained a lot if, with all her character without the slightest change, she was a boy? As a girl, she's just annoying. But maybe that's me and my aversion to girl-influencers.

Misty Brightdawn - oh yes, the second successful pony! First of all - character. Maybe being raised by Opaline, but I like that she's not as crazy as the other unicorns. She is shy, but knows how to stand her ground. She's bold, but not overly so. She is well-balanced and undergoes meaningful transformations throughout the series. I also like her design, especially after recolouring her mane in the episode celebrating the stamp's release. She's just cool!

+ Sparky - I honestly miss Spike. No, seriously. The series tries to convince us that this thing is cute and is the mascot of the series - AND IT FAILS. He's an annoying little pain most of the time and is seriously hard to like. Or is it just my impression? I don't like the design of this thing either... I wouldn't mind the colour, but the shape of the head, the eyes, uh, everything... Most of the time I try not to remember it exists.

What do you think about the new Mane 6 and their mascot (well, not a slave, but give Sparky a few years...)?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jestem chora i nudzi mi się, więc postanowiłam sobie z tych nudów ocenić nowe Mane 6. Pamiętajcie, to moja ocena - macie prawo się z nią nie zgadzać, ale uszanujcie ją!

Na początek małe przypomnienie, jak oceniałam Mane 6 z poprzedniej generacji:

Twilight Sparkle - była lepsza bez skrzydeł (żartuję), tak naprawdę bardzo ją lubię, nawet, jeśli momentami była neurotyczna. Albo właśnie dlatego. Z charakteru najbardziej przypominała mnie, zwłaszcza próby godzenia nieprzystosowania społecznego i introwertyczności z rolą przywódcy. Lubię też jej kolorystykę.

Pinkie Pie - umrzyj różowy koniu i nigdy nie wracaj... Serio, na palcach jednej ręki mogę policzyć odcinki z tą zjebaną klacza, które mi się podobały! Za to lubię jej absurdalnie amiszowatą rodzinkę. W jej wyglądzie lubię tylko jej funkcjonalne, zachowujące się jak piąta kończyna włosy.

Rarity - moja ulubiona klacz. Ma wszystkie cechy, które najbardziej cenię w innych: pracowitość, szczodrość, ambicje i bogatą wyobraźnię. Także dzieli ze mną wiele cech, chociażby skłonność do dramatyzowania. No i uwielbiam jej design.

Applejack - lubię ją z podobnych powodów, co Rarity, poza tym jest ze wsi, ceni więzi rodzinne i ma syndrom nadopiekuńczej starszej siostry. Moje cechy. Ma też dużego plusa za piegi.

Rainbow Dash - większość czasu wkurzała mnie niemniej niż Pinkie Pie, zwłaszcza, gdy wykazywała się brakiem lojalności (jej własnego elementu!). Nie lubię pozerów i zakłamańców, ale czasami była w porządku. Nie przepadam za jej wyglądem - rozumiem, czemu jest niebieska, ale ta grzywa wyglądałaby fajniej w zestawieniu z jakimś innym kolorem.

Fluttershy - moja druga ulubiona klaczka! Najbardziej podobało mi się, że pozostawała w zgodzie z sobą. No i jej shipping z Discordem - Nayia lubi to! A połączenie jej kolorów jest uroczo pastelowe.

+ Spike - biedny, mały niewolnik kucyków. Nic nie mam do samej postaci, ale jego stosunek w grupie zawsze mnie irytował - był czymś pomiędzy sidekicka, zwierzątka, a niewolnika i to szalenie irytowało. Czekałam na moment, kiedy zacznie być szanowany. Nie doczekałam się. Ma fioletowy i zielony kolor - za to plus, chociaż jako dorosły staje się dosyć nieatrakcyjny (we wszystkich swoich wersjach).

A teraz Mane 6 nowej generacji! (tak, Mane 6 - jeśli komuś w tym momencie zaspoilerowałam, to sorry...)

Sunny Starscout - momentami za bardzo Mary Sue. Ma sprzeczne cechy charakteru, jakby twórcy nie wiedzili, czy ma być nieśmiała, czy brawurowa, inteligentna, czy głupiutka. Przez co z mojego punktu widzenia ma co najmniej schizofrenię z osobowością wieloraką. Nie przepadam ani za nią, ani za designem - jakoś nie przepadam za połączniem pomarańczy i magendy.

Hitch Trailblazer - jej, facet! Wreszcie facet wśród głównych postaci! Bardzo lubię postać Hitcha w pierwszym filmie, lubię też jego design - jednak od momentu znalezienia i wyklucia tego pierońskiego jajka robi się z nim coś dziwnego i staje się kolejnym schizofrenikiem. Rozumiem, że przyjaźniąc się z Sunny nie mógł być normalny, ale serio?

Izzy Moonbow - zatęskniłam za Pinkie Pie... Nie umiem opisać, dlaczego tak nie lubię Izzy - zapowiadała się fajnie, podoba mi się, że jest trochę połączeniem chaotyczności i optymizmu Pinkie z talentem Rarity, ale czemu musi być przy tym totalnym comic relief? Nie mogłaby być odrobinę poważniejsza? W ogóle cała rasa jednorożców jest jakaś taka zjebana w tej generacji... toleruję tylko laskę od śpiewu i wielkoluda ze sklebu herbacianego. Za to duży plus za design Izzy - piękne połączenie kolorów i wspaniałe grzywa i ogon. Kocham.

Zipp Storm - nie sądziłam, że takie coś nastąpi i kucyk, który wszedł na miejsce Rainbow Dash tego dokona, ale oficjalnie... Zipp jest moją ulubienicą z G5 Mane 6! Może miejscami jest nieco obsesyjna, ale jest w tym urocza. Jest księżniczką, ale ma swoje pasje, ma zadatki na detektywa, do tego uprawia parkour! Jest tym, czym chciałabym być, gdyby nie moje problemy zdrowotne (może poza byciem księżniczką). W jej designie podobają mi się skrzydła, ale kolorystyka i wygląd fryzury trochę meh.

Pipp Petals - zacznę wyjątkowo od wyglądu - jak już musiała być podobna do kogoś z pozostałych z wyglądu, wolałabym, żeby była podobna do swojej siostry niż do Izzy. Nie lubie jej designu. Ani budowy jej skrzydeł. W ogóle czy tylko ja uważam, że Pipp wiele by zyskała, gdyby przy całym swoim charakterze bez jego najmniejszej zmiany, była chłopcem? Jako dziewczyna jest po prostu irytująca. Ale to może ja i moja niechęć do influencerek.

Misty Brightdawn - o tak, drugi udany kucyk! Po pierwsze - charakter. Może przy wychowanie przez Opaline, ale podoba mi się, że nie jest tak zjebana jak inne jednorożce. Jest nieśmiała, ale umie postawić na swoim. Jest odważna, ale nie przesadnie. Jest dobrze wyważona i przechodzi sensowne przemiany w ramach serialu. Lubię też jej design, zwłaszcza po rekolorowaniu fryzury w odcinku z uczczeniem wyjścia znaczka. Po prostu jest fajna!

+ Sparky - szczerze tęsknię za Spike'iem. Nie, serio. Serial próbuje przekonać nas, że to coś jest urocze i jest maskotką serialu - I MU NIE WYCHODZI. Większość czasu jest irytującym, małym wrzodem i serio trudno go lubić. Czy to może tylko moje wrażenie? Nie lubię też designu tego czegoś... jeszcze kolor bym darowała, ale kształt głowy, oczy, uch, wszystko... Większość czasu staram się nie pamiętać, ze to istnieje.

A co Wy myślicie o nowym Mane 6 i ich maskotce (dobrze, że nie niewolniku, ale dajcie Sparky'emu kilka lat...)?

[storm-stone]

02: feeling thankful

I'm feeling really grateful for my partner this week, and honestly, I simply wanted to share.

My brain has been all over the place. Work has been a little crazy. We have new leadership at my company, so there's a lot of new information to take in. My work laptop died, and the replacement was slightly delayed. But mostly, I'm gearing up for the dreaded return-to-office.

My team and I are more globally distributed than other groups in our company, so we currently work completely remotely. However, we're now being asked to return to the office for some time every month. It may seem like a small thing, but it has admittedly disrupted our work-life balance. It has impacted some of my team members extremely strongly, and their lives have essentially been turned upside down.

All week, I've been holding spaces for difficult conversations. Sometimes they happen via work chats on our messaging platform. Sometimes there are random questions or outbursts in 1:1s. Our team meeting this week was focused just on getting feedback about the change. But thankfully, my team is very kind. The feedback, while passionate and rightly negative, has never felt inappropriate or burdensome.

I will admit, though, that I'm feeling a little burnt out from holding the space for those conversations. I can't do anything about the policy, and I don't have any additional answers to their questions, so I'm in between a rock and a hard place -- the Middle Earth of middle management.

How am I going to get out of this?

I feel disoriented. I've been distracted. I'm forgetting things. I even accidentally left a candle burning for much longer than I planned. I keep visiting ismercuryinretrograde.com even though I know the answer is NO. It's particularly frustrating after such a successful and heartwarming beginning to the year with the team that I manage.

Perhaps as one way to recapture the feeling of having control over my life, I went on a whole reorganizing binge. I cleaned out my closet. I reorganized my dresser. I bagged up clothes for donation. I ordered a new side table for my workspace. I set up some new workflows for my new work laptop to help streamline the things I had been simply coping with on my old laptop.

My partner has watched me in my mini-tornado, like the most controlled of chaoses taking place in the Middle Earth of middle management.

After having a frustrating day of his own, my partner took some personal time and left work two hours early, to come home and find me attempting to put my new side table together while also getting my new work laptop set up, all after having given myself a blister from holding the screwdriver wrong (hah I'm literally useless!).

What did he do upon finding me in this condition?

He started building the side table himself. He walked me through all my questions about how to set up my work station. Even laughed with me when I quipped that I shouldn't care so much, given that we're going back into the office part-time anyway. And even spent some of our time during dinner Googling how to optimize my workspace, i.e., give me the dream set up that I've been saying that I've always wanted.

I asked him how he had so much stamina to put up with all of my requests and swirling.

And he said that he didn't find me annoying at all. That every question or need that I have had is valid. That we're a team, and we help each other out. And that he likes doing these things for me, simply because he loves me, and he likes seeing me smile.

Which made me smile.

I don't know how I got so lucky. And I know there are times when my mind swirls. But this week... I just feel so damn lucky with how easy our love is. How our journey isn't really about trying to be better for each other, or compensate for what we've lacked. It really just is about how much fun we're having while sharing space, and time, and life.

There are so many articles out there listing out ways to know you've found the right one. 8 Ways You Can Tell They're Your Soulmate. 10 Ways You Know They're Committed to You. 20 Things to Watch for in a Partner. 500 Red Flags (and 5 Green Ones!).

But this one is the one that makes the most sense to me:

When you're around them... can you just be?

[prince876]

6 Early Warning Signs Of Emotional Well-being Deterioration

When we hear “Emotional Wellbeing”, we think of pleasant associations such as excitement, happiness, love, and acceptance. However, how we handle the unpleasant feelings we experience is an important indicator of our emotional well-being. 

According to Psychology Today, the definition of emotional well-being is “the ability to practice stress-management techniques, be resilient, and generate the emotions that lead to good feelings.”

No one knows us better than us, making us the first person to know whether our emotional well-being is deteriorating or not. But some of us are unable to recognize the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration and that might lead to a mental breakdown.

One such individual was Siddharth who continued to ignore the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration. He then ended up spending a night in the hospital because of it. Siddharth had self-doubt issues but it didn’t affect his life much so he didn’t bother about them. But after losing his job, thoughts of self-doubt started increasing. He started to feel that he was not good enough and was never going to achieve anything in life.

Siddharth felt helpless and hopeless about his future endeavours. He tried applying to other places but the fear of rejection made him not want to try. He isolated himself in his room and one night when he was unable to take the burden, he started getting thoughts of ending his life. Luckily his roommate found him and admitted him to the hospital.

The story of Siddharth is the story of many of us too. It may not be that extreme, but we all have faced self-doubt and emotional turmoil brewing up inside our minds. This has an impact on our physical health as well.

We can avoid all that by seeking early treatment, but for that, we need to know what the early signs of emotional well-being deterioration are. Here is a list of the early signs:

Increased feelings of agitation and irritation

 Feeling distant from your loved ones

Feelings of Hopelessness

Feeling helpless all the time

Feeling worthless

Lack of personal care

Increased feelings of agitation and irritation

One of the first early signs of emotional well-being deterioration is a significant increase in feelings of agitation and irritation. You might notice yourself getting upset at things and people more frequently than before. You feel frustrated with your life and might have problems controlling your temper or unable to calm down. Watch out if you feel uncharacteristically angry, anxious, agitated, or moody. 

Feeling distant from your loved ones

An early sign of emotional well-being is that you begin to distance yourself from your loved ones by avoiding meeting them, going out for parties, or other social gatherings. Slowly you start spending more time alone in your room than with your loved ones. You withdraw or isolate yourself from other people. You may stop taking part in activities you used to enjoy before. Do not confuse it with being introverted. It is seen as a change in your typical sociability. 

Feelings of Hopelessness

Another early sign is feeling hopeless about your future. You notice your general optimism starting to decrease and now can't find anything to be hopeful about. You start to see the negatives in every situation and suffer from feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Feeling helpless all the time

You might feel stuck in your life problems with no way out or no one out there who would understand and help you. You feel all alone in this world with no one to support you. You feel helpless and lost, having no idea how to stop the emotional well-being from deteriorating and for things to go back to being good.

Feeling worthless

Your emotional well being might be deteriorating if you have a prolonged feeling of worthlessness. You have no self-confidence and your self-esteem takes a hit. You see yourself as flawed and full of shortcomings, there is no confidence in your abilities and you doubt your every move. According to you, nothing you do is right. People in this situation may say that the world would be better off without them, suggesting suicidal thinking.

Lack of personal care 

Not all are emotional, they can be physical signs also. Your emotional well being might be deteriorating when you start to let go of taking care of your physical self. This involves skipping your meals, not taking baths regularly, and ignoring proper hygiene. The surroundings also start to clutter up with piles of dishes in the sink, clothes in the laundry basket, and an empty fridge. You might find these basic but necessary tasks to be overwhelming or just forget to pay importance to them.

It is necessary to recognize these early signs of emotional well-being deterioration to nub it in the bud and get help before things get worse. You may want to get a self-assessment done to find out more about your mental wellbeing or use the self-help content available. Also, it is always better to seek the help of mental health professionals than wait for the problem to worsen.

[knot-ee]

The man said one thing and did another. Not bothering to involve himself in the matters of curses, yet he erupted inside a domain like it was nothing and then proceeded to attack him before changing his mind. It was bullshit. If he truly did not care, he would not have involved himself in the first place. By the voracious grin and glint inside his eyes, Megumi could tell there was an egotistical side of him and a side of him which loved violence. Maybe dropping into a heated battle was purely to please his blood hungry. In that case though, Megumi, a teenage jujutsu sorcerer, hardly counted as optimal prey. Nanami Kento surely would have made a better target who was in the immediate vicinity. Dark hair, incredibly powerful and fast with the lack of ability and cursed energy... Megumi could only think of one other person. He didn't allow himself to go down that route. It didn't make sense. Why was he thinking about Zen'in Maki? Megumi threw thoughts aside as his agitation grew.

He was very nearly about to leave. The pointless encounter doing nothing. There were actual important matters to get to. Then, it hit him. Strong as The King of Curses' punch. Deja vu. Memory. With the stranger's back turned to him, Megumi remembered scribbling things as a child. Their decrepit home, birds, stray cats, and the picture of his father leaving. It was the only memory he had of his father, and it was skewed at best in the perspective of a toddler. He had no memories whatsoever of his mother, and the only memory he had of his father was the man walking away. Broad shoulders, dark hair, and a feeling of depression. Megumi remembered the feeling of being so helpless as his father walked away for the last time. The child's pictures had long been thrown out, but the memory was so painfully crisp that it all came crashing back.

His father had seemed so large when he was a toddler even as the man's figure faded in the distance. Years later, nearly Megumi's entire lifetime, and feeling of melancholy and dominance returned. Even though he was much taller now as a teenager, the man's stance seemed just as large as he imagined it as a child. It couldn't be. It can't be. The gears of his mind were working quickly. Black hair but it was flat unlike Megumi's erect hairs. The fact he cared to ask for Megumi's family name. Maybe some could see the resemblance between Megumi and the stranger. Heart was a jackhammer inside his chest as his throat finally grew tight. The air suddenly became painfully thin.

“ You know me... don't you. I know you. You.... ”

Are my father. No. Nonono. It wasn't possible. He had disappeared and Satoru had taken the children in. Megumi could not jump to such sharp conclusions for the sake of his emotions and his mind. Megumi was a rational person; he had to keep it that way.

“ You are a Zen'in, aren't you? ”

Toji could keep telling himself that this kid meant nothing anymore and wasn't his problem anymore, over and over again. Yet he still couldn't help but take him in. Now that he was more conscious of himself than during their last encounter. He doesn't miss the way those green eyes stare at him, piercing and demanding even. He almost chuckled, his smirk growing. This kid has some guts. There was something about Megumi that reminded him of himself yet so much more about him was so different and he couldn't be more glad for that. He had never wanted Megumi to come out like him.

The older man doesn't so much as react at Megumi's demand. His eyes only glint with a hint of amusement and he grins widely for a moment before letting out a low chuckle. Definitely a demanding brat. He's a little annoyed it reminds him of Gojo a bit.

"I don't know anything about stupid curses. As if is align myself with a bunch of weaklings." Toji snorts.

After a moment he then adds on.

"I didn't kill you because I didn't feel like it. It's simple as that. Now beat it, kid."

His gaze turning dark and he almost grimaces as his smirk fades and his expression changed. Almost as if saying: Trust me kid you don't want anything to do with me. Things are better off this way.

Toji turns to walk away. Ignoring those pesty feelings making his chest tight, telling him to turn back around to get another good look at his beautiful son one more time. But he forces himself to not look back. The less interaction he has with him the better. He obviously doesn't remember him or at least not remember much. It's for the best. Megumi is better off not remembering him. It was also selfish of him to wish that because better if he didn't remember him at all than remember the dad who left him.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Actually so emotional about Andrew Peter...just like. He just loves so much. He chooses to love life when it would be so easy to hate it. He loves people who aren't here anymore and people he never really knew, he loves people who tried to kill him and after all this time he's still trying to save them, he loves people he doesn't know but who love a different version of him, he loves those reflections of himself so much that he goes out of his way to tell them he does and to call them his brothers after so short a time...and they give him that love back, and they tell him he is worthy of it, and after everything, he hates himself a little less.

[yandere-romanticaa]

A little experiment for Tighnari if you will. While his design is all over the place and simply looking at him felt a little odd to me but I adore his personality and how gentle he is, especially with Collei. I'm still not too familiar with him but I did finish the first part of the Archon quest in which he appears. I hope I did him justice!

The scent of herbal tea and cooked food filled the room as you lay in bed, dizzy to the point where you can't stand on your feet and so sick that the food that would usually tempt anything and anyone into having a bite was doing the exact opposite for you. The choice of becoming a forest ranger was a sudden one but over the past few months you've been here you started to see the charms of this place despite the many dangers that lurked above and beyond the sky high trees.

As a forest ranger you had many different duties to perform, some mundane while others that could have almost cost you your life - but no matter what you took on all of the challenges with a bright smile, even if you did end up being covered in blood in bruises by the end of it.

The endless courage and optimism was something to be proud of but the same could not be said for the lack of your knowledge in botany and anything related to plans...

Forest rangers were required to take several different tests throughout different times of the year, ranging from their physical education and endurance, the strength of their emotional stability and general knowledge about the flora and fauna of Sumeru, possibly from even beyond that if the situation called for it. It would be a lie to say that you passed your tests with flying colours but you did manage to get by, just enough to earn a comfortable salary and stay close to your new friends.

Tighnari being one of them.

He was the best teacher anyone could dreamed of having - from his endless patience and understanding to his sharp wit and kind heart, it was impossible not to like the guy. There were times when you were more than tempted to rough up his tail and ears but you knew better.

It also didn't help that he'd catch you staring at him every single time.

Despite spending so much time with him you were still utterly clueless when it came to plants and Tighnari would do everything in his power to change that. Whenever your hand would be draped in thorn covered wines you'd come running to him, tears in your eyes and tears falling down your cheeks as he sat you down on the floor, always bandaging you and maybe even lightly kissing the pain away if he was feeling more bold that evening. It was a chase kiss that never lingered for too long, always on the inside of you wrist too, where your pulse was.

You never asked him why he did that. You simply took it as a token as his endless gratitude.

And that's why you were here now, in bed with a fever with Tighnari himself nursing you back to health. Like it or not he was ready to shove the harsh medicine down your throat if need be but you just decided to go down the path of least resistance and just went along with his rules.

Tighnari always warned you never to fully trust anyone and that you ought to watch you back lest someone tried to do something vile to you. He included himself in that statement too because at this very moment he was giving you just a third of the required medicine, to keep you docile but still just healthy enough to stand on your feet.

The forests of Sumeru hid many secrets but the one Tighnari hid was one of the biggest ones yes. His burning love was consuming him and unless he put his foot down, archons know what would happen to him.

🍒 TAGS: @genshinarchives, @mod-kisa-blog, @morigumy, @juuuuuj101010

[reilliane]

Intertwined ✤ Venti

I n t e r t w i n e d

A/N: Even though I already have Venti, I still did his trial run lolol ashdjdhkahda good luck on your pulls, lovelies! ✤ SAGAU Concept: Characters are aware that they are codes, pixels, and are sentient in the player's gaming platform. When the player is offline, their programming is turned off and they gain free will. ✤ [P/Name] = Player name ✤ she/her Words: 650

「 Venti please come home again, my teapot is way better than Angel's Share- I have a whole bar decorated for you in that one realm 」

「 My bartending skills are amazing, I got classes from Charles! 」

As if he doesn't already know that.

[P/Name], in control of Aether, has attained the highest possible points in the event 'Drink A-Dreaming'.

Venti wished for nothing more but to break past the shackles of his programming and appear as one of the customers, but he can't risk deletion.

So all that he can do is watch until it is time for his banner to arrive.

It's been so long.

The last time he has freely interacted with [P/Name] the most was during 1.4's Windblume. But now—now he has a chance.

Just please—let [P/Name] win her 50/50.

���This must be what that old buffoon felt,”

Venti chortles, though it lacks the supposed optimism. He successfully beat the risks, didn't he?

Oh, he can only hope for this wish to be the same. He has waited so long.. so long.. ever since the launch of the game.

He's her first five star.

Not once has [P/Name] discarded him or anything, but there is something special.. in feeling the attention on him as if he's her center. It feels like he's gone back the clock.

When it only used to be him, with the starter characters and the Traveler. He does not have anything against the newer characters, of course—but the past is special.

Any moment, he corrects himself, is special.

Venti jolts when he feels a tap on his shoulder, followed by a short giggle.

“It is time,” Yunjin points towards the moving cursor.

Watching it makes the archon swallow and clasp his clammy palms, knowing the pity count to be around seventy-six. Anytime now, and..

“Just believe a little!” beams Xiangling as she gets enveloped with a pretty violet glow, indicating her summoning, “The gacha is rather merciful this time!”

He doesn't doubt that. Sucrose has just been summoned a while ago, and now before he knows it—he is all alone... aside from the clutter of three-starred weapons in the abyss.

Venti places his hand against the digital cover of his banner, parallel to the golden cursor that's paused against the wish button.

I want to feel it again, he closes his eyes. Your happiness.

If only there is a way to reach past the screen and tell their player how thankful they are for each time being put into their arsenal—certainly, they all would've done it already.

The teapot function has thankfully given them enough luxury to personally talk to the 'Traveler', but it isn't enough.

“[P/Name],” he murmurs, feeling his body growing light, “Bring me home again.”

The sight of gold almost sends you toppling to the floor and you grasp the armrests of your chair, unprepared to see who or what has blessed your wishes.

Your youtube audience is beaming in the chat, both nervous and excited, chanting the name of the windborne bard as if it'll be able to reel him in for the second time.

Nibbling down on your lower lip, you click away at the three stars and a copy of a sacrificial sword, counting down with each passing item. For another time, you click—and a bloom of aureate light glues you in place.

And then you're squealing.

“Ahhh! He really came! Chat, he's here! For the second time!”

As the chat rejoices with you in your little bubble of happiness, you enter the character screen to activate the newly acquired constellation, your voice growing louder afterward.

You glance over his crowned talents before pausing to take a moment to enlighten your audience with contagious excitement. To this, you fail to see the nuanced detail of Venti's features.

He's grinning—the sight appearing as if he can see through the monitor itself.

Ah, he's home again.

intertwined

a/n: venti is such a lovely character to play, may everyone who wishes for him be able to get him!!

@cherryflushz @e7t3 @scarlet-halos @lordbugs @nebulaera @annoying-and-upset @hanniejji @applepi1415 @tjjjrsj @azirajane @hey-comrade-hold-stil @limelightsuperhero @chloeloe @loptido @windyventi @nejibot @ganyuqrt @justrinnn @aryllechan @epioneemersyn

[fairyprince7]

SO FUN!

Happiness Charge Precure, Iona Hikawa. my second favourite pretty cure, but my favourite season so... HER. I loved that she was a pretty cure who did not want to work with the others. very rare for magical girl shows from what I've seen. has good backstory and a really good arc and her learning to forgive Hime and become best buddies is so (≧∇≦)ﾉ

Mr. Men, Mr. Bump. he's a self explanatory little guy. lives right up to his name in being clumsy in extremely comical ways you couldn't make up, but its his resilience and going "oops, silly me!" and getting right back up or going "um, I need a hand" that wins me over. I wonder if he has a reserved room in the Happyland Hospital....

OHSHC, Tamaki Suoh. MY FAVOURITE GUY OF ALL TIME. OH MY GOSH I could ramble on about him for ages. I've realised I absolutely love the type of guy who seems so suave and cool when you meet him but is a LOSER™️, and I blame Tamaki for my love of that trait <3. but its also his undying love for people and the world and sheer optimism and ray of sunshine-ness, and his stupidity. the stupidity's always good too <3

Pokemon, Steven Stone. My F/O, and the handsomest guy I've ever seen what can I say <3. he's an autistic little dork and so charming, I would listen to him ramble about rocks and crystals all day. and he gave me a new appreciation of the Metagross line, love those funky little robots now.

Sonic, Amy Rose. she is PINK. and so so kind and the sweetest while also being a tough badass and I mean, who doesn't love little girls with weapons bigger than them. I think she and Winry Rockbell should be best friends.

Tenkai Knights, Ceylan Jones. He's a funny jokester. a silly little guy. you're gonna have beef with a little guy? for shame (quote). the second I saw him in the show I knew he'd be my favourite because he was sitting there leaning back in his chair cracking stupid jokes. But he's also a stupid little kid who's too full of himself and also kinda sorta very gay so like. instant fave.

Arthur, Buster Baxter. absolute DORK. I love his silly naivety to believe everything everyone tells him ("you really think that? that people would go on the internet and tell lies?") and he's also a silly jokester. my favourite episode of the entire show is that one where he tries to sell chocolates but lacks self control so eats them all and has to learn how to make new ones. there's something SO neurodivergent about this kid and I can't get enough of him. and he loves space too so 🤝

Sesame Street, Murray Monster. my 100% definite least common fave on this list. idk something about him just. is so comforting. he just rocks up with his little sheep, goes travelling around to different places, teaches kids fun science stuff while they teach him about different jobs, and he fails at all of them cause he's silly and dumb <3. and he's so optimistic about it and his joy is contagious. and how he hardly lasted on the show before his performer quit just makes him even more of an enigma to me and makes me OOUGH

Rainbow Magic, Jae the Boy Band Fairy. Charles the Coronation Fairy isn't real and can't hurt you, Jae is the only boy fairy to me, and because I automatically love every token boy character in any show he's instant fave. and his design with the letterman jacket and ripped jeans is SO gender to me. his story was honestly so fun as well, most Rainbow Magic stories nowadays feel a bit samey but his felt different. Maybe its just me lol. but I love this funky little fairy dude

Super Mario, Bowser. DO I NEED TO SAY ANYTHING. BOWSER. KING BOWSER. THE MAN HIMSELF. -mic drop-

I'm tagging.....

@yourblueberrymajesty @fragglez @roseofcards90 @the-pastel-kitsune @wavygrayvy @kirbyofthestars @ybcpatrick @charmsterz @facetedd @elinekeit

got tagged by @oceans-bluem and @celshii! 10 fandoms/10 characters/10 tags

fma (mangahood): roy mustang. yeah. the cringefail loser guy. love that weird codependent mutual satellite character death pact team rocket thing he and hawkeye have going on it's very worrying and also very sexy

orv: han suyeong. han suyeong. han suyeong. han suyeong. i can't think about her too long or i'll scream.

malevolent: arthur lester the saddest most pathetic-wet-cat guy ever. he has 5 tragic backstories i want to study him in a lab

tma: jon he makes me sad

aurora: erin ruunaser. [shakes him like a can of skittles until the dragon falls out of his brain] TELL ME YOUR LORE YOU CAGEY LITTLE NERD

star wars: ahsoka tano :) i haven't thought about her in a while but i love her. fun to draw. also the you-can't-go-back-home of it all. what do you mean she left her home and her family always intending to go back to them and then she turned around and they were gone. what do you mean. the live-action show is dead to me though hope this helps

osp: odysseus. yes i do mean specifically the osp version of him. he looks like solid snake

nevermore: lenore... she is so very gender and so very cool and i hope she enjoys her villain arc B)

doctor who: martha jones! she is cool and she deserved so much better and everyone who hates her is wrong. btw.

dracula: mina harker, THE train fiend!! the nerd ever. also the way she talks about herself in her post-oct-3 entries is so fucked up and sad

tagging @inkedmyths @fairyprince7 and anyone else who wants to do this!

[pompompurin1028]

Heyyy 🥰

Okay okay, a thought: Dazai has a similar mind to Mori's, but the day Oda dies he decides to let his emotions influence his decisicion. Which means he's actually a highly emotional person, right? But what if part from his great suffering comes from him not being able to UNDERSTAND all his emotions. What if he has a sky-high analytical intelligence and is therefore skilled at deciphering other peoples' emotions, but can't seem to understand and hence accept himself?

Summary: Dazai is an highly emotional person? And his intense emotions are what is causing his suffering?

Ooo this is a very interesting thought Jade!!😌

Mori and Dazai are definitely quite similar, they are complex and intelligent characters that are seemingly logic driven with the tendency to look at the whole picture of a situation!

But I actually do highly agree with you that Dazai is actually a highly emotional person🤔 I have always felt that about him. But I don't believe that I have enough evidence to support my claim unfortunately, at least canonical evidence, but I will still talk about my thoughts below cause I’ve been thinking about this a lot. But my belief is actually opposite to yours, I believe that his suffering comes from being too sensitive to his emotions and understanding and feeling them too deeply. But I would love to hear your thoughts as well after reading this!

We can see this with Oda of course, as you’ve said! The fact that Oda's words and his death alone is able to drive him out of the mafia, despite not really knowing about what the future could hold and all the uncertain factors that could happen if he left the mafia, somewhere where he is extremely familiar with to one that is unpredictable kinda shows that he is an emotional person. Because this is definitely not a rational decision, and as you said one driven by emotions.

Another thing that I think might have actually shown that he may actually be, originally, an emotional person is that he numbs himself of emotions. Yes perhaps it may seen paradoxical, but sensitive people are actually more prone to suffering from emotional numbness surprisingly, or so I've read. Because it is in human nature to defend against pain, and with emotional sensitive and intense people, it is extremely easy to be able to feel everything around them. And I personally believe Dazai is actually a sensitive person (I will talk about why I feel this more later), and this coupled with his high intelligence is extremely self destructive to him. 

This is because as you said he has a sky-high analytical intelligence, I mean he is able to at a young age of 15/14 to understand the idea that there is no point in the act of living. He is able to see the deepest truth in life, and a knowledge of the universe beyond our common understanding that some of us are not even able to comprehend in a lifetime, thus showcasing his absolutely high analytical ability. But the understanding of the hopelessness of the world, and the lack of a meaning in living in this life is what is hurting him the most, especially if he is extremely sensitive. This would explain his utter hopelessness and emptiness he feels. Also may explain why his emotions are stunted or seemingly so, as it may actually be his own mind using it as a self-defense mechanism to prevent further sources of pain and suffering. 

This can also be supported by a quote from Dazai-sensei himself in one of the short stories from Blue Bamboo (I believe it is The Samurai and the Mermaid) which says “how I envy those self-satisfied commoners who, seeing nothing and comprehending nothing are convinced they know it all. There are in this world things of such mysteries and awesome beauty that the small minded cannot even imagine them. There are, yet he who discovers them risk falling into a bottomless hell”.

Him being highly emotional could also explain why he is such a good strategist, as we’ve seen throughout the anime. Dazai in his plans doesn’t simply manipulate people to do what he wants them to do, I’m not saying he doesn’t because it can definitely be seen that he does in a few different cases. But in a lot of scenarios especially in his long term plans, we actually also see him predicting how other people will react to different situations presented to them rather than him guiding them like pawns on a chessboard to establish his plans. (Prime example of this is his plan with Chuuya in Dead Apple). 

So the main question you may be asking right now then is probably, where did the assumption that he is emotionally sensitive come from in the first place then? I have this assumption because Dazai-sensei himself is a very emotionally sensitive person, this can also be observed in No Longer Human as well. 

One of the quotes from No Longer Human that could support this is “The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness”. You can also see it subtly in this quote "For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces”. The fact that he is always trying to read the expression on other people’s faces shows that he fears rejection, and is extremely anxious about how other people see him and view him, but also at the same time craves acceptance.

“I have always shook with fright before human beings. Unable as I was to feel the least particle of confidence in my ability to speak and act like a human being, I kept my solitary agonies locked in my breast. I kept my melancholy and my agitation hidden, careful lest any trace should be left exposed. I feigned an innocent optimism; I gradually perfected myself in the role of the farcical eccentric.” Here’s another quote from No Longer Human, once again fearing and is extremely anxious of what others think about him and seems to be sensitive to criticism and being called out as an outsider, and being different, and the mask that he wears is actually a defense mechanism used to protect himself.

Of course No Longer Human is not the only source that shows Dazai-sensei’s sensitivity. Other short stories have also showcases similar themes such as this. His short story 《候鳥》 I wasn't able to find the English equivalent wrote 「太敏感的人會體諒到他人的痛苦，自然就無法輕易做到坦率。所謂的坦率，其實就是暴力。」 It means people who are too sensitive can understand the pain of others, naturally they are unable to be frank. For "frankness" is equivalent to violence.

I also remember somewhere it talked about Dazai-sensei being too anxious to visit someone as well and was pacing outside of their house? I don't remember where I read it though and I can't find it again😭

Therefore from these many examples, I have a few that Dazai is actually a sensitive person judging by how much he is also described as such in other articles; and Yozo as well in academic journals and articles I have read.

And so I believe that he may be able to feel emotions quite deeply, not only that but also understand the world deeply as well. And it is this deep understanding that is the source of his despair, his difference from other humans, because they are not able to understand him on that level. It is actually the fact the he might be too human that he ceased to become human. But the reason why I am still thinking about whether or not this is true is mainly because how he treated Akutagawa, which I feel doesn’t really fit this idea.

[rye-views]

A Promised Land by Barack Obama. 8/10

I would recommend this book to my friends. I would reread this book.

There are certain things that Barack articulates that I’m thankful for. His over-optimism and feelings of eccentricity. I completely related to its isolating feelings even though it wasn’t the same situation and experience as mine. It’s nice to see something similar from someone different. I also liked his description of feeling everything in its entirety and how it was like a movie splice. I have felt this many times and it’s a beautiful way to describe it. I like how so much of what Barack says, thinks, and feels are so genuine and relatable. It's nice to see someone articulate and empathize this well, esp. from a man and a man in power.

I love learning that Michelle was disappointed by the situation caused by his choices at times. Other things were more important at the time and nice to see it be relevant.

It’s interesting to see the difference between this book and “Becoming.” They have different aims, but it still shows me a difference between a man and woman. I also notice that when men are described, it’s always physical. When it’s women, it’s more character and personality.

Crazy how intelligent and emotionally aware Barack is. When he stated how he couldn't just pick and choose the good things of Reverend Wright's church, I was like true and wow.

The things that Toot taught Barack is what someone should've taught me as I grew up.

Barack comparing the rides to Noah's Ark is amusing.

When he mentions translations of what the Big 4 are saying, I think about how we can't be straightforward in politics. Why not?

It took me forever to read this because I really wanted to absorb the knowledge. There's a lot of events that are covered and things I had no idea about. I love how this catalogues so much of history that were relevant to my lifetime.

Memorable Quotes: “gives even my roughest drafts too smooth a gloss and lends half-baked thoughts the mask of tidiness” “I needed to focus on only those things to come.” “Much of what I read I only dimly understood” “a bond between those who had once seemed far apart.” “Whatever it was, I knew I wasn’t ready.” “An America that could explain me.” “I suffered rejections and insults often enough to stop fearing them.” “Enthusiasm makes up for a host of deficiencies.” “Failure and want were all around you.” “It should have been enough.” “but my mother was never one to see hard work as anything but good.” “On top of my sorrow, I felt a great shame.” “There’s a physical feeling, a current of emotion that passes back and forth between you and the crowd, as if your lives and theirs are suddenly spliced together, like a movie reel, projecting backward and forward in time, and your voice creeps right up to the edge of cracking, because for an instant, you feel them deeply; you can see them whole. You’ve tapped into some collective spirit, a thing we all know and wish for – a sense of connection that overrides our differences and replaces them with a giant swell of possibility – and like all things that matter most, you know the moment is fleeting and that soon the spell will be broken.” “To be a workhorse not a show horse – that was my goal.” “I had become a mere conduit through which people might recognize the value of their own stories, their own worth, and share them with one another.” "Yes we can." “the personal really was political” “I had to listen to, and not just theorize about, what mattered to people.” “it wasn’t so much what he did as how he made you feel. Like anything was possible. Like the world was yours to remake.” “It’s hard, in retrospect, to understand why you did something stupid.” “In fact, you shouldn’t even count on my vote.” “What do you consider your place in history?” “I could take a punch. And I didn’t give up.” “I knew I could afford to be patient.” “but the only way for Daddy to disguise himself is if he has an operation to pin back his ears.” “Forgotten people and forgotten voices remained everywhere.” “the more troops would become targets of an enemy they often could not see and did not understand.” “The power to inspire is rare. Moments like this are rare. You think you may not be ready, that you’ll do it at more convenient time. But you don’t choose the time. The time chooses you.” “people were moved by emotion, not facts.” “Beneath the low-key person and deep convictions, he just plain liked the combat.” "defined not by what they are but what they can never be." "To the relief of his keepers, the bear became accustomed to captivity." "he understood better than most the complications of race, religion, and family, and how good and bad, love and hate, might be hopelessly tangled in the same heart" "She was one of those quiet heroes that we have all across America." "But I worry that my memories of that night, like so much else that's happened these past twelve years, are shaded by the images that I've seen, the footage of our family walking across the stage, the photographs of the crowds and lights and magnificent backdrops." "a keeper of values we'd once thought ordinary but had learned were more rare than we had ever imagined." ""It's going to be hard to get the public excited about food stamps and repaving roads," Axe said. "Not real sexy."" "This time I said nothing, admiring his occasional, almost endearing ability to state the obvious." "You must be under the mistaken impression that I care." "all of them unified only in their common desire to be somewhere else." "ready to die for eternal joy--or maybe just a taste of something better." "But make no mistake, it was weird." "the unspoken regrets." "my supporters lacked all conviction, while my opponents were full of passionate intensity." "Michelle was someone who started from the heart and not the head, from experience rather than abstractions." "I wanted to believe that the ability to connect was still there. My wife wasn't so sure." “The

audacity of hope.” "Sometimes your most important work involved the stuff nobody noticed." "forgotten under the accumulation of the new joys and paints that make up a life." "you learn to improvise to meet your objectives--or at least to cut your losses." "They would take for granted that their aunt was on the U.S. Supreme Court, shaping the life of a nation--as would kids across the country. Which was fine. That's what progress was like." "Did they miss the rhythms of ordinary life? Were they lonely? Did they sometimes feel a jolt in their heart and wonder how it was that they had ended up where they were?" "I reminded myself that every president felt saddled with the previous administration's choices and mistakes, that 90 percent of the job was navigating inherited problems and unanticipated crises. Only if you did that well enough, with discipline and purpose, did you get a real shot at shaping the future." "Was it possible that abstract principles and high-minded ideals were and always would be nothing more than a pretense, a palliative, a way to beat back despair, but no match for the more primal urges that really moved us, so that no matter what we said or did, history was sure to run along its predetermined course, an endless cycle of fear, hunger and conflict, dominance and weakness?" "meant to be a reminder--in a place premised on hate and intolerance--of the common humanity we share." "A man making up for things." "For war was contradiction, as was the history of America." "To be known. To be heard. To have one's unique identity recognized and seen as worthy. It was a universal human desire" "pleasures that cost nothing, belonged to no one, and were accessible to all." "I suppose, when the world slows down, your strivings get pushed to the back of your mind." "whether in my seeming calm as crises piled up, my insistence that everything would work out in the end, I was really just protecting my self--and contributing to her loneliness." "It was a lonely thought at a lonely time." "You never looked as smart as the ex-president did on the sidelines." "Get exposed to other people's truths, I thought, and attitudes change." "It wasn't often, I thought, that a true act of conscience is recognized that way." "their struggles and resentments troubling but remote." "are mere conduits for the deep, relentless currents of the times or whether we're at least partly the authors of what's to come." "contemplating the knife's edge between perceived success and potential catastrophe" "daily, unheralded acts of people who weren't seeking attention but simply knew what they were doing and did it with pride." "She makes me better as a person and better on the page."

[shineyma]

1st, I am beyond excited and grateful that you took the time to write all this!! I asked for a rant, Amy, you delivered. 2nd, /I/ should apologize because my reply's probs gonna be long. (Half an ask already. Ugh, I'm hopeless, and you extremely polite.) I'd seen Fitz said Deke's the worst to be their grandson, but not that he persisted! GO, FITZ!! Didn't Iain use to say back in S1 that he didn't want FS to happen? I loved him for it, esp when Liz can't seem to do anything other than wax (1/9)

the rest go under the cut because it’s a lot of asks XD

poetic about FS. (Whyyy, Liz?? Seriously, does she talk about anything other than FS?) LBR though, Fitz is #relatable here. I’ve watched 3 S5 eps and seen many spoilers, and Deke’s 95% a dick, right?? I think TPTB might’ve been going for that particular FS brand of determined, unapologetic, do-what’s-necessary but their compassion and drive to protect were always evident even in their “harsher/colder” actions/attitudes/treatments. (I’m missing the right words but you know, right??) /But/ (2/9)

they missed the mark by 100 miles. Anyway. Frankly, Amy, Jemma fighting viciously Fitz’s pessimism and fatalism, esp by putting forth a positive twist on fatalism (for lack of a better word) has rubbed me so wrong for so long. It’s not necessarily ooc?? But it’s also not Jemma in a right mental and emotional state?? (You’re getting a terrible description of what I mean but I’m no good for anything else right now.) Like she’s broken, resigned, fighting for some thing that just happened, (3/9)

that she didn’t consciously choose, it was forced on her through guilt of her own and of others’ making, and through others pushing for it, and she’s sort of accepted it, it’s just part of her life now, vaguely, automatically placed under the “good stuff” category, and everything around her is in chaos, so she just fights for /it/? I don’t know. There’s a difference between “the universe says we’re gonna be together, look at the signs!!” and “we want to be together and we’ll work for it”. (4/9)

About the logic fail, Jemma probs grabbed onto that “my mom told me the ‘right direction’ thing which her mom had told her”, ergo she raised her some, and coupled with the need to make Fitz feel better and the talk with yet another always unhelpful team member (😒), she just went for that stupid line. Does that make it not ooc? Well, /no/. *makes a paper plane out of your last 3 bullet points and shoots it @ TPTB, yelling “TAKE NOTES!”* Amy, in the AOS house we don’t perform surgery to the (5/9)

tune of melodies that calm and steady and help us concentrate. In the AOS house, we perform surgery while conversing on things that test our ability to hold back tears and shouts and shaking and violence, because we’re hardcore. So, the dog thing. @ Hydra WTF??!!?! Yeah, I’m glad I missed that. And OK, can someone finally confirm if Ward shot Buddy??!! It’s getting ridiculous. I say probs nah, because John used to prod him too often for not being cruel enough, but… I don’t know. Also, (6/9)

I’m so glad Ward didn’t attend Hydra’s School for Young Octopi!! I mean, everything does point to that!! :D Teen!Ward busted out at 17 and dumped in the woods, switching to Brett!Ward still in the woods, John alluding to Ward shooting Buddy and finally leaving the woods as the end of his training and immediate beginning of his SHIELD career… If he attended any Academy, that was SHIELD Ops. It’s canon! New Ward backstory! I LOVE IT!! OK, because Hydra has that elitist vibe, I’m imagining (7/9)

more of a posh-secret-club-inside-the-academy kind of thing?? You know, like the actual Piggate scandal with the UK PM, and there’s many a movie too that show secret societies inside colleges etc, whose members are wealthy kids of old families, and their fathers were members before them, and their grandfathers, and they have weird, twisted rituals. You know the kind. Malick, his daughter and the council of people they had brought to meet Hive, they remind me of that. Anyway, I’m still not (8/9)

forgiving Ruby for what she did to Elena, but the dog thing and the Hydra-engineered super-baby thing are something…?? I’d have to watch S5 to pass judgement and LOL NO, I ain’t about to do that. I thiiink I’m done. Man, I hope that was some damn good strawberry shortcake. I’m gonna need all the favor I can get. 😇 ❤❤❤❤ Also, what’s a strawberry shortcake and why are people discriminating against its physique??? Ah, and why do you use that squiggly line (~) at the end of some words??? (9/9)

Okay! Here we go! XD

First off, I…..go back and forth on Liz’s support of fs. On the one hand, it’s silly to hold it against her; it’s not like attacking her own storyline would be a smart move, either with fans (who for some reason overwhelmingly support it) or with Jed&Mo (who, after all, have made clear that they based fs’ relationship off their own). Sure, Iain got away with it, but look at the way the show treats Fitz vs. Jemma……he’s clearly the favorite. *side eyes aos* Plus, fs being together gets her more scenes with more people (gotta have everyone reminding her how destined~ she and Fitz are after all!!), so it’s understandable she’d like it.

That said….HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HOW TERRIBLE IT IS? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

And we could talk about that all day so…moving on!

Deke started out as the harsh/cold/doing what’s necessary to survive in a terrible environment character (he SOLD DAISY TO KASIUS because he was afraid her search for Jemma would endanger the rest of them), but the show kind of….dropped that? And tried to switch him to the lovable moron instead? It’s weird.

As for Jemma’s optimism……I guess I can’t totally blame her. Like, she does love Fitz, that’s clear enough. I personally don’t think she’d have gotten there if she hadn’t been constantly pushed towards him, or if he hadn’t made a big deal of “I can’t be just friends,” therefore forcing her to choose between a romantic relationship with her best friend or NOTHING AT ALL of him, but. Whatever.

My point was, she loves him. And he is CONSTANTLY going on about how they’re cursed and they’re never gonna work out and how ‘doesn’t sound great for the girlfriend’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’ and blah blah negativity. And it is just super not fair to her that she has to forever fight this attitude of his and try to keep him positive about THEIR RELATIONSHIP, something he should be excited and positive about ON HIS OWN. Ugh.

So from that perspective, I guess I can see why she’d cling to this, as evidence~ they’re not doomed and they’re gonna be okay. Good point, nonnie!

And another good point: I’d forgotten about the daughter saying that her mom had said the steps in the right direction stuff! to her That makes Jemma’s logic fail a little less egregious, I feel better now.

Oh, right, silly me. Of course aos is way too hardcore to want to focus on the situation at hand when surgery is underway!

I think the show kinda confirmed that it was Grant who shot Buddy? In 2x21 when Bobbi was trying to talk Kara out of the whole….torture thing that was about to happen, she tried to convince her that Grant was grooming her and that he probably started small and probably was started small himself, and Kara was like “yeah, Garrett made him shoot his dog.” So that probably counts as confirmation.

(But I am all about #denial so I choose to ignore it. Alternate explanation: Garrett was the one who did it but Grant wanted to use the story to connect to Kara, so he was creative with the truth. See? It still works!)

And yep! Garrett said, when he finally got Grant from the woods, that he’d gotten him into the ops academy! Which admittedly was four whole seasons before this mess and probably they didn’t know yet they were gonna give Hydra its own Academy, but why would Garrett make Grant do the dog test in the woods if he was about to go to Hydra and have to do it all over again? Doesn’t make sense! So yes, definitely Grant went to SHIELD Academy.

As for the “posh” sense you get of Hydra, nonnie, you are SO NOT WRONG. Hydra’s Academy was seriously SO prep school vibes, I can’t even fully describe it. They had UNIFORMS, nonnie! Suit and tie uniforms with HYDRA LOGOS on the breast pocket!!!! It was…….ridiculous. Ri. di. cu. lous.

And right? TOTALLY NOT COOL that Ruby cut off Elena’s arms, but I have some sympathy for her now. Some.

And thank you for asking, the strawberry shortcake was DELICIOUS! And it’s not discrimination (XD; I literally lol’d, nonnie, thanks for that)—strawberry shortcake is a dessert with sliced, sugared strawberries, whipped cream, and a kind of cake that’s called “shortcake” because of its crumbly, sometimes crispy texture. It is THE BEST and I’m so sad it doesn’t exist in your life. I’m sorry, nonnie.

ETA: sometimes people use spongecake instead of shortcake when making strawberry shortcake. these people are wrong and should not be trusted.

As for the squiggly line, it’s hard to explain! 

Sometimes, I use it to add a note of sarcasm or mocking. Since tone is hard to convey online, it helps me get my meaning across (and feels necessarily mean, in such statements as “Jemma and Fitz are destined~”)!

Other times, it’s more…..hm…..like a gesture, maybe? Like in my rant I wrote “the glory of Hive~” and the sguiggly was meant to convey a kind of handwave, like “the glory of Hive and all that stuff the Hive-worshiping parts of Hydra would concern themselves with.” Does that make sense?

I don’t know, it’s kind of like the tumblr habit of randomly capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence, you know? Sometimes it’s for emphasis, sometimes it’s for sarcasm, sometimes it’s just because it feels right. I hope that makes at least a little sense. XD

Thanks very much for the conversation, nonnie! Sorry it was such a struggle getting your thoughts to me!