#but the more likely answer is that i'm socially awkward and don't know how to talk to people online

[s3v3r3dh3ad]

The struggle of wanting to talk to people but then being too nervous to DM first but even when you get DM'd first then you're constantly too tired or just not motivated to talk for some reason even though you truly do want to talk and so you accidentally leave that person who tried to initiate the conversation unanswered for longer than you meant to and then you start thinking that they must think you hate them or don't want to talk to them bc that's the conclusion you would jump to if it happened to you and then you feel bad because now you made things awkward for yourself and everyone involved and then it makes you remember why you don't talk to people 😍

[tropical-fruit-mx]

are you shitting my fucking dick i take a break from tumblr and i come back RIGHT AFTER they remove the cutest feature i've ever heard of

i love dumbass cat stuff AND i'm so painfully awkward around the idea of interacting with mutuals i can't believe they would take this from me i'm pissed

[mono-dot-jpeg]

boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru

summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function

genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on

[gender neutral reader]

a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.

isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.

the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.

he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.

"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"

nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).

when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.

he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.

"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."

shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"

when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.

he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.

"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."

bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.

when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.

he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.

"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"

[two-white-butterflies]

★ — it was all yellow | carlos sainz

Description: After finding Carlos in bed with an internet starlet, you decided to break up with him. 5 years later, you meet him again.

Pairing: actress/singer!reader/carlos sainz

Trope: Secret Baby Trope

Disclaimer: Everything written in this fanfic holds no truth about anyone's personality or actions. It is made purely for entertainment.

A/N: I got so many requests for this typa trope and I only got the idea now. Super sorry for the 6 month delay WAHHAHA.

.

.

.

yn.ln: the vibe that we bring to the function. btw 💚 HOTDS2 is out!

liked by danielricciardo and 71,923 others

>comments

danielricciardo: Helaena Targaryen >>> - edited: Helaena Targaryen <<<

echibano82: MAN!! 😭

ynforever: the rise and fall of a midwest princess is my fav album of urs

formula.unoworld: sainz fumbled a baddie

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

because.official: Carlos and Pinon 😘❤️ #MyHeart

liked by carlossainz55 and 6,293 others

>comments

foreveryoung78: Wake up Carlos the fatherhood allegations are strong today

solonglondon: U ever heard of a boy named Pablo Sainz? 😳

bestfriendsfw: miss Because...go and tell ur mans - landofanbase: HER NAME ALWAYS TAKES ME OUT 😭 WHY IS HER STAGE NAME "BECAUSE"

.

.

.

WHO IS CARLOS SAINZ'S NEW GIRLFRIEND? BECAUSE...

Brezziana Aziza, whose stage name is Because has gained fame because of her relationship with Formula One Driver Carlos Sainz Jr. Previously known on social media as an influencer who vlogs about her daily life, netizens began to call her "Because" well because of her excessive use of that word.

Although she has stopped using that word since, the name has stuck. She is currently under fire for visiting a Shein Factory in China. For more details please click this link: Shein sent American influencers to China.

>comments

becauseunitedfanbase: she's so funny n quirky i get it why carlos loves her

breatheinlouder: if pablo does belong to sainz, brezziana broke a family up - corduroy8chan: the family broke because sainz allowed it to be broken, she's homewrecker because...? - becauseunitedfanbase: more like home renovator

.

.

.

Just an Inchident (Charles L., Max V., Lando N., Carlos S.)

Carlos Sainz holy shit guys did you see twitter

Charles Leclerc Yeah man Is it real?

Lando Norris i did some research and this kid's 6-4 yrs old there's a chance mates

Carlos Sainz how am i even supposed to ask her? it was so awkward when it ended i totally regret doing that to her but im so happy with because now

Charles Leclerc There's a fat chance that the kid is yours man

Lando Norris ask her like a civilized man dude i saw a reel where someone asked her if pablos yours

Max Verstappen Who uses reels mate? 🤣 2 reacted 🤣

Lando Norris well she avoided the question silence means yes if you aren't the father she'd answer it

Carlos Sainz maybe she wants to torture me

Charles Leclerc She's a good person man I don't think that she'll do that Plus she's above using her son for leverage

Carlos Sainz and how do you know that Charles? we haven't spoken to her in years

Max Verstappen She grabs coffee with Victoria on Tuesdays I've actually known about Pablo for a while now

Carlos Sainz 👍🏻 2 reacted 🤣

Max Verstappen 👍🏻 .

.

.

yn.ln: i want a velaryon burial #HOTDS2

liked by 93,192 others

>comments

danielricciardo: the camera quality sucks just letting you know - yn.ln: thanks! i have eyes btw

comments have been restricted.

.

.

.

yn.ln: A lot of you wanted to comment and ask questions about my son, and I never really posted about him because I'm not like those parents who use their kids on social media for likes and clout.

Five years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, Pablo L/N (09/12/18) and every day has been filled with laughter and warmth 🦋 he was not a secret, but I tried to keep his life private. Now, a lot of people feel like they have the right to know everything about him. What he looks like. Who his father is. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter.

You don't have the right to his face. You don't have the right to know about his family life because it doesn't concern you and it never will.

Thank you so much to my friends!! @danielricciardo @rileykeough #DakotaJohnson and #ChrisMartin

liked by 1,239,901 others

>comments

danielricciardo: ❤️

rileykeough: 🥺 i love you and p

victoriaverstappen: We love you! - yn.ln: thank you vic, playdate with luka and lio soon? - victoriaverstappen: Absolutely!

comments have been restricted.

.

.

.

email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good morning Dessie.

This is Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist, Daniel Kirkman, in light of the rumors between my client and Miss Y/N L/N we humbly request the truth about Pablo L/N's paternity in order to legally and publicly clear things up. Speaking as your old friend, these past few months have been stressful both physically and mentally. Even if there's a sliver of hope that the kid is Carlos' please update me.

Warm regards, Daniel Kirkman.

.

.

.

email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

Good afternoon Mr. Kirkman.

I can see that the years have hardly changed you, you still have horrible email etiquette. Because we are old friends, I spoke to Y/N. Truth is, the things that I'm going to share today will ruin your client's reputation if our emails are ever leaked. Remember the fallout of 2018? We both celebrated New Years in Y/N's Santa Monica House.

Actually, New Years was the day we found out that she was pregnant. Not a doubt in our hearts that the baby was Carlos'. We were about to tell him but the moment we landed in Ibiza, she saw Carlos in bed with Brezziana. (I refuse to call her Because!! BECAUSE it is confusing and preposterous.)

I think that hiding Pablo from his father wasn't right, but I don't blame her for doing it. As for the paternity test, Y/N agreed but the team will come back to you with the legalities and such. As a 'friend' I want to tell you that the best Carlos is ever going to have is him paying child support and seeing the child once or twice a month.

Y/N has a lot of lawyers, more than we do friends. And judging by Carlos' personality, I don't think that he'll fight for his son.

Warm Regards, Destiny Bumgarner

.

.

.

email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

Good evening Destiny! What makes you think that Y/N's going to win the legalities? + I never expected you to reveal all of this via chat. You sure that I won't betray you?

.

.

.

email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

I got dealt with the winning hand now Dan.

I know you're smart enough not to doubt me. :)

.

.

.

email to destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com

All is fair in connections and clientele?

.

.

.

email to danielkirkmanhq@gmail.com (Y/N L/N publicist) from destinybumgarneroffice@gmail.com (Carlos Sainz Jr's publicist)

All is fair in life, Dan.

.

.

.

oliviacooke: sorry for drinking your juice hun. 📸 pablo l/n

liked by 283,192 others

>comments

yn.ln: haha thanks for carrying his bags liv

comments have been restricted.

.

.

.

There are only two things. Truth and lies.

Truth is indivisible, hence it cannot recognize itself; anyone who wants to recognize it has to be a lie.

The past that you've tried to bury has slowly began to reveal itself. Maybe it was your fault, you aren't sure...

Carlos Sainz was a horrible man. He cheated on you. He didn't apologize. He admitted that another woman made him happier. Was there something special about her? A simple internet starlet with no proper claim to fame made him feel more alive.

"You've got to face him anyways." Dakota placed a glass of wine on the coffee table. "Pablo isn't his. He doesn't even look like him." you shook your head, unable to accept the inevitable truth.

"I've read all the posts on Twitter, they don't think that I have the right to push my son away from his father. Carlos is immature, I don't think that he's even capable of being a father." you scoff, taking a sip.

Haven't you given your son everything that he needed? An iPad, a big house, private education, and vacations in all the nice places.

"Two wrongs don't make a right." Destiny breathed.

"- from what Kirkman says, Carlos has changed. I don't encourage you to be romantic partners or even best friends, but please be civil for Pablo. Please let him have a civil relationship with his father." she added. "I hate it when you're right." you looked away.

You've seen his posts. You've seen his interviews.

There wasn't a bone in his body that screamed mischievousness anymore. He looked tame. Happier.

He achieved all of that without you, and maybe you could be that too.

You can be everything without him too.

"So you'll talk to him?" Dakota asked.

"I'll give it a try." I relented.

.

.

.

Look at the stars.

Look how they shine for you.

The music played in the background as you sashayed your way into the VIP section of your friend's restaurant. Destiny was an angel enough to close shop and ensure that your privacy was protected especially in these vulnerable moments.

A sigh escapes your mouth, hearing that song in the background. As much as you adored Chris Martin, this song was getting in your feels.

You take a sharp turn, halting once you see his figure.

The very same man that shattered your world in Ibiza. The very same man that looked you in the eyes while he admitted that someone else made him much much happier than you, his fiancee.

And it was called Yellow.

"Thank you so much for being here, Y/N." your name sounded soft on his lips. Behind his brown eyes, there was sorrow - not to be confused with regret because he looked better than he ever was. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" you chuckled.

While nothing about you has changed.

Carlos has changed drastically.

"Destiny told me about the emails. Your team wanted a paternity test, right? You don't need it, Pablo is yours." you decided to be straightforward, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth.

You could feel that bitterness on your throat, like tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes, like you just swallowed a pill and forgot to drank water afterwards.

"Uhh - I found out on New Years day, and I wanted to tell you in Ibiza." you didn't bother to continue the story. He knows what you mean.

For you I'd bleed myself dry.

"I'm sorry, really sorry for not being a man. I know that we were about to get married, and I got scared. I was 24 years old, everyone was telling me that I had another life ahead of me. I was young. I wanted to ruin my life. I-I shouldn't have brought you with me." he apologized, trying to find the words that could articulate his feelings.

This was all that you needed from him.

An apology.

"When Destiny found out, she grabbed me by the ear. Told me that I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve you. I believe her, and I want to do everything to make it up to you and Pablo." he promised, but there were still words unsaid - the turn of his brows telling you that he wasn't willing to return back to normal.

That he still loves Because more than he's ever loved you.

"Do you love her?" you smiled bitterly. Your smile.

Look how they shine for you.

"I betrayed both of you that night. She didn't know that we were dating. She didn't know who I was. I apologized to her and she forgave me, but I realized a few years after that I should've apologized to you too." he admitted. "- I love her, really."

You knew that he wasn't lying.

.

.

.

destinybumgarner: this is the PINK PONY CLUB

liked by 712 others

>comments

yn.ln: WAHAHAH IM JUST HAVING FUN

danielkirkman: crowns c / o pablo the prince

.

.

.

part two

A/N What driver or actor should we pair reader with? 😭 comment to get tagged

[rocketbirdie]

YOU. You are correct about Cloud Strife. Everything you say about him is CORRECT

Hi I'm going to use your ask as an opportunity to go on an unhinged tangent about him below the cut.

I believe that EVERYTHING about Cloud Strife as a character makes total sense once you realize: it's autism.

Here's a character whose entire arc revolves around the erosion of his identity and his desperate attempts to adhere to an ideal image, at the expense of his own wellbeing; and how self acceptance is the thing that brings him back from the edge of despair.

Youtube theorycrafters waste hours of their lives trying to piece together Cloud's psyche, when the answer is just... autism. It really is that simple. I will die on this goddamn hill.

In Trace of Two Pasts, we learn that even as a toddler, Cloud really was just... like that. Unemotive and awkward. And the entire lifestream sequence in the OG shows us a young Cloud who behaves in baffling ways. Tifa and her friends invited Cloud into their group, but he rejected their friendship while simultaneously harboring a seething jealousy. How the heck does that work, huh?

Viewing this through the Autism Lens™️, his approach make way more sense. Fearing his own inability to read and reciprocate their intentions, he pushes them away, and the resulting loneliness crushes him. He mistakes that loneliness for anger. He turns that anger outwards and gets into fights. Because the other kids don't understand him, Cloud sees them as stupid and immature. It's the perfect recipe for disastrous distrust. The tragic result is that, when Tifa gets into her accident, Cloud is immediately blamed by kids AND adults. He's seen as inherently dangerous and unpredictable, even though he did nothing wrong. It's like they were already looking for the perfect excuse to hate him.

The worst part is, because he struggles to articulate his own thoughts and feelings, he starts to just... accept what other people say about him. He's a pain in the ass. He's a selfish brat. He could try being a bit nicer. Any attempt that he makes to argue, backfires and proves their points even more. He's being childish. He needs to get his shit together. Nothing's ever good enough for him. He stops fighting it and lets people drag him around and violate his boundaries, because no matter how loud he yells or how intelligently he argues, nothing he says ever reaches their ears. He trims away more and more of himself to try and appease others and nurse the constant emotional pain. (And that's not even addressing the entire traumatic *waves hands* everything that he's gone through by the time he reaches Midgar! That would have to be its own tangent lol.)

It's hard to watch as a player; the secondhand embarrassment of Cloud's social blunders is immense. Some people don't like Cloud as a video game protagonist, which is perfectly valid. But a lot of times, they justify their opinion by perpetuating the same damaging language. He's an asshole, he's a weirdo, he hates people. The irony would be hilarious if it wasn't so frustrating. I know Cloud is just a fictional character, he doesn't need to be defended from harsh criticisms. But I can't help but wonder what these players think about the "weird people-hating assholes" that they meet in real life.

It also makes me wonder if they were even paying attention. I think the games make it pretty damn obvious what's going on. He's an asshole because other characters treat him like one before they even get to know him. He hates people because he doesn't understand them, and they don't even try to understand him. He's a weirdo because he has a strange way of showing how deeply he loves and cares, and he's afraid that his love will be misinterpreted like every other emotion he's ever dared to show.

The autism is everywhere. It permeates his entire being. It's in his silly responses when he takes things too literally. It's in his painfully practical way with words. It's in the stiff expressionless look and the flat tone of voice. It's in him constantly adjusting his gloves, shifting his weight, looking down at his feet. It's in his questionable idea of what you're supposed to do with your body at a yoga session. It's in the half a dozen flustered high fives, it's in the motion sickness. It's in the contagious eagerness with his special interests in SOLDIER and materia and chocobos.

It's in the moments where the facade crumbles and we get to see the real Cloud, the one that Aerith knew was in there— the one that Tifa finds in the lifestream— the one that Zack gave his life for— the Cloud that cherishes the whole world. He's got so much of everything inside of his heart, and he doesn't know how to get it out. You'd be a weird asshole about it, too.

[astroboots]

Every You Every Me | Issue #7

COLLABORATED WITH @thirstworldproblemss

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: You finally get some answers out of Miguel about who you are to him.

Word count: 5,700 words.

Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | thirstworldproblemss' Masterlist

[Previous] [Next]

"So let's take it from the top," you tell him, as you sit down and put down the Trenta-sized caramel flavored hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and chocolate syrup in front of the man named Miguel O'Hara.

The two of you are sitting across from each other at a small booth at the nearest Starbucks you were able to find, seeing as you're homeless now, and there's nowhere else you could think of to go.

He's dressed in a large fitted hoodie that drapes down to his thighs. Where he's managed to find something that is oversized in length on him, you don't know because he's not exactly short.

"I'm from a dimension known as Earth-928," Miguel says.

Before he can continue, you raise one hand, and you can see his right eyebrow twitch unhappily at the interruption. 

"Yes?"

"Just to clarify, so we don't have another ‘coffee cake’ misunderstanding. When you say Earth-928, do you mean a different version of the Earth we’re on now? Or is this a habitable planet in another galaxy that happens to be partially named Earth?"

"It's a parallel universe characterized by distinct physical parameters and initial conditions, accounting for the diverse manifestations of our observable universe. So still Earth," he says, sweeping his gaze across the café, nose wrinkling the way one does when there's something off-putting in their vicinity. "Just a little bit less primitive."

Of course he would say that, wouldn't be able to resist the jab would he.

You peer up at him across the table. He is very technical and thorough with his explanations. But as grateful as you are for him finally being willing to answer your questions, you hadn't expected those answers to be quite so information dense. You need to pick your questions more carefully or you are going to have to go down the street to buy yourself a notebook in order to keep up.

"How did you end up on this Earth?" you ask.

"Where I'm from, I'm a scientist, a researcher. One of the things I studied was the theory of physical cosmology and the existence of the multiverse. My work was concentrated on the theoretical ability to navigate between distinct universes within a hypothetical multiverse–”

Ah shit, you should've been more narrow in your question. Should have asked him to simplify it a bit more for you. Because now you're sitting here blinking up at him, pretending you understand half of what he's saying. 

It makes sense that he’s STEM. He speaks like the type. Smart as hell with none of the social skills to gauge whether the other person is following the conversation. 

Listening to him reminds you of that time in college, when you'd walked into the wrong lecture hall, wound up in advanced chemistry instead of your math class, felt too awkward to leave and just sat there drawing doodles with an attentive expression until the class was over. 

And he’s still at it, “– employing advanced mechanisms that manipulate or transcend conventional spacetime frameworks, enabling exploration–"

"Okay, wait, hold on a sec," you interrupt, once it becomes obvious he’s not going to stop any time soon on his own. "Can you... simplify, please?"

He stops mid-sentence, taking a deep breath as he looks up at the ceiling and considers your request, with a serious expression as if he's thinking really hard on it. "I’m a scientist. I study the multiverse. I built a parallel universe traversal device, it allows me to visit different dimensions." Your brain feels insulted that it clearly took more mental effort for him to dumb it down for you than to just give the supergenius version.

“So… a machine that allows you to jump between alternative universes?” 

“Yes.” 

There’s a pause between you as you run through the questions in your mental list you want to tick off now that he’s turned cooperative and talkative. But with everything that’s happened in the last handful of hours, a lot of the questions you previously had seemed outdated. The one question, the most important one, you’ve wanted to ask from the start though remains. 

"Who am I to you?"

Miguel takes the large sized drink in his even larger hands and somehow this big paper cup still manages to look tiny in his grip. "You and I were... involved," he says.

You frown. ‘Involved’ is such a vague term. It belongs in the trash with other useless terms to describe relationships: “situationship”, “complicated”, you hate them all. 

"So I was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, something like that," he concede, fidgeting with the thin gold chain looped around his neck, his eyes not quite meeting yours, like he's embarrassed to use the term.

‘Something like that,’ you chew on his answer unhappily, sympathizing with your other dimensional self and how the other you seemed to have snagged a commitment phobe. 

Other-you, who isn’t here in this dimension with Miguel. You wonder why that is. 

"What happened to me?" you ask.

His eyes are glued to the table,  not looking up at you as he answers you in a voice so quiet you can barely hear it. "She died."

"Oh."

The revelation shouldn’t take you by surprise. 

Every time Miguel’s brought up your other self, it’s been tinted with earth-shattering sadness. It's not hard to put one and one together and come to the conclusion that whatever happened to you in this other dimension didn't end happily.

Still it's an odd feeling to know that out there, somewhere, a version of you has died. A version of you that was clearly very important to the man in front of you.

"I'm sorry," you tell him.

It feels silly to say. It's bizarre to give your condolences over your own parallel death, but Miguel looks so heartbroken. He’s slumped in his seat, large shoulders rounded until his frame looks so much smaller than you're used to, and you don't know what else to do.

"So what is happening to me now," you start, not sure how to word what the phenomena that you're going through is, "these continuous near-death experiences, is that how she died?"

"Yeah."

"And do you know why that... kept happening to her? Why is it happening to me?"

"I don't, and I don't know how to stop it. Believe me I tried."

He cradles the paper cup in his hands, the grip a little bit tighter now until he's creasing the paper and the caramel liquid oozes and leaks from the top.

"What I do know is that the universe isn’t going to stop trying to kill you, no matter what you do. And with every near death incident you manage to survive, these incidents will escalate in nature, until..." he stops, eyes flickering away from the cup to meet yours, but it's like he loses courage and doesn't want to say the last part.

"Until, what?" you prompt.

"Until your dimension collapses."

The blood freezes in your veins. "Wait, collapses!? What do you mean?"

"I can't guarantee it will happen again. But that's what happened last time. When the other you kept cheating death, the universe eventually started to collapse in on itself."

You slump back in your chair, trying to process what you've just been told. What does that mean? That even if you managed to defy all odds to survive, doing so would doom the rest of this universe as you know it?

"When will that happen?" you ask, and you're surprised you manage to get the words out because there is a hard lump in your throat that makes it hurt to even swallow.

"Judging from the trajectory and escalation of events, you have about three months give or take."

The two of you sit in heavy silence, for the moment you're not sure what else to ask him. Because it feels like you are trapped in a building looking for an exit sign, but all that’s tacked onto the brick wall is your death certificate, waiting to be signed and formalized.

There’s no way out. Nowhere to go.

"Give me your hand," he says, breaking the silence. 

You give it to him without hesitation, watching, puzzled, as he takes off his watch and secures it around your wrists.

"Why are you giving me your watch?"

"It's not a watch," he says, then he presses something on the face of it, and an image of a young woman flickers into existence in the space above your wrist, vaguely see-through. A hologram!

"This is Lyla," he introduces.

Wait, wait? Lyla? As in your mom Lyla? You watch the tiny woman floating above your wrist. Short bob-cut, and flashy heart-shaped sunglasses, with a twinkle in her eye. 

The hologram looks nothing like your mom. You part your mouth, about to ask about the name but you're interrupted by the energetic buzz of a female voice greeting you.

"Boss-girl! Long time no see. Want me to catch you up on the latest multiversal gossip? I compiled an edit of highlights set to Despacito."

"Lyla," Miguel warns, tersely. "Not now."

"Ruuuuude! You're the one who woke me up you know."

"Lyla, go back to sleep."

The female avatar grumbles, but then her image flickers away and the watch turns back into, as far as you can tell, just an ordinary watch.

"Why did you name the watch Lyla?"

"It's not a– " He cuts himself off, sighing with exasperation. "Lyla is an advanced A.I. she's going to be with you at all times. She's an added layer of security, built to protect you."

He didn't answer your question. Completely sidestepped it as if the two of you are having two different conversations.

Built to protect you, he'd said. Does that mean he still intends to do that?

"So you're not going to leave?" you ask him.

He leans back in his seat, eyes drifting towards the table. "No."

You look up at him, stumped. Not sure you're understanding what he's saying. Because not even a few hours ago, when the two of you were in your apartment, this man was adamant there was nothing to be done to save you. That he was going to leave and you were never going to see him again.

Right now though, his actions seem to be contradictory to that. You can't make heads or tails of him. Hot and cold doesn’t even begin to cover it. 

"Why not?" you ask, "I mean, not that I’m not grateful, but you seemed pretty set on the whole ‘I can’t save you’ thing. What changed your mind?"

“You did.” His eyes narrow as he looks down at you, crossing his arms ever his chest, "You told me you wanted to live. Have you changed your mind already?"

“Wha– NO! I just want to know why you changed yours.”

“I–” He hesitates, another wave of sadness passing over his face. “I’m a superhero. I save people… or try to. It’s what I do. I’m not gonna just leave you to die after you tell me you want to live.”

It’s a good answer, even if you don’t buy that it’s the whole truth. 

You look down at your wrist, and the shiny chrome of the not-watch he's just gifted you winks back up at you. "Do you think I have a chance of surviving all this?"

"It's pretty hopeless," he says, and there’s no break in his expression as he continues. "Your chances of making it out alive are pretty much mathematically impossible."

It's odd though. Even though he's outlining the futility of your situation, basically telling you to raise the white flag and surrender, there's something contradictory in the tone of his voice. 

"What do you want to do?" he asks you.

It’s a challenge, you realize. An encouragement. He has faith in you. It's all of these things rolled into one. As if he's telling you to prove the universe wrong.

"I want to live," you answer. "If the universe collapses in three months, then please stay with me. Give me time to solve this and find a way to stay alive."

His mouth curls into a hint of a smile. The very first you've seen from him since you've met. It's bright and boyish, erasing the harsh lines of his stern expression until it gives way for something much softer underneath that makes your heart leap in your chest with triumph.

You grin, a strange elation of happiness buzzing in you as you stretch out your hand to him, in an invitation for a handshake to seal the deal.

"Deal?"

Miguel leans over the table, clasping your hand in his much larger one as he squeezes it back gently.

"Deal." That small smile from before is still there. "So what's next?" he asks.

The thing you never realized, being an ordinary person bereft of super genes or other superhuman powers is just how convenient commuting can be if you have them. 

No longer do you have to brave the Lynchian nightmare that is the NYC subway system. Half-naked manic street preachers giving sermons as you’re held hostage, with nowhere else to go in the carriage. Being chased down by a drunk trumpeting Mariachi band. Instead, all you need to do to get from point A to point B (A: being the Chrysler building and B: the building formerly known as your home) is to hold on tight to Miguel as he swings you both above the city gridlock.

You imagine that this is what paragliding must feel like, except it's so much better because here you don't have to do the safety training beforehand or pay $3,000 for the privilege.

The city skyline is a dark evening blue, dotted with the sparkling lights of office buildings, cab roof lights and street lamps, as the wind ruffles through the fabric of your clothes.

It's such a different sight when you're flying above instead of walking on the streets below, that you don't even clock that you're in your neighborhood, until you see a building with a collapsed wall that's been blocked off, looking like a crash site. Only then do you realize... you're home.

Miguel carefully sets you down on your feet on a small patch of concrete that is clear of the rubble and destruction.

"Why did you want to come back here again?" he asks. 

It’s a good question. Now that you're here, standing in the middle of charred debris and cracked bricks, you're not sure either. You had some vague plans of seeing what you could salvage, hoping for some clothes, maybe your electric toothbrush, or really just any of your stuff. Something that’s yours, no matter how small, to hold on to after the events of today have ripped away life as you know it.

But there’s nothing left. The furniture, all your books and knick knacks, and even your dirty laundry piles have been demolished. Your home as you know it is gone. There's only piles and piles of rubble and traces of white fire extinguisher foam on the ground. The fire has been out for hours, but the pungent smell of smoke and sulfur still pervades the air. 

"You okay?" Miguel asks.

He's still standing at the outer edges of the apartment, close to where your window would have been if a helicopter hadn't crashed through it.

"Yeah... I guess the silver lining is that I didn't have anything expensive. Though it'd been nice if I could've saved my mom's Le Creuset set or at least the nanny-cam so I could return it and get a refund," you joke glibly. 

You nudge aside some concrete rubble with the cap of your shoes. There's nothing under there, no treasured memorabilia that's still miraculously intact. Just more burnt concrete and rubble.

"Why did you have a nanny cam?"

You turn around at his question, to see him hovering close to you, one eyebrow raised with an unhappy set to his jaw. 

From the displeased expression on his face, he's probably misunderstanding something here. Probably thinks you're operating a very unlucrative Onlyfans business, when what you've really been doing is spy on him and his nightly visits. You don't know which is worse to confess to, so you don't confess to anything.

"No reason," you say, ignoring the way his already raised eyebrow twitches with irritation at your lack of an answer.

"Come on, let's go," he says, and he waves towards you in a come hither motion like he's commanding a dog.

"Go?" you ask him. "It's past midnight. My place, as you can see, is wrecked. Go where exactly?"

Miguel shoots you a strange look. "A hotel," he says, like it's the most obvious thing, and– okay, he's not completely wrong in that assumption.

Problem is, you didn't have time to pick up your wallet or phone before your impromptu interdimensional visit. They’ve been incinerated along with all the rest of your worldly possessions, which means you don't have any way to pay for a hotel.

Plus Manhattan hotel prices average $400 a night. Even if you still had access to your debit cards, your budget’s pretty tight right now after all the capital you invested in your unhinged quest to trap the superhero before you. 

"In the city? I don't have that kind of money and it will take months for any insurance payouts to come in."

You should know. As an insurance claims adjuster, you know you’ll be lucky if your claim is processed before the end of the year. And, ugh, just the thought of the paperwork you’ll have to fill out is enough to give you an anxiety migraine.

"I’ll cover the room," Miguel says casually before holding out a hand to you, "Come on, let’s go."

When Miguel said he’d cover it, you expected a reasonably-priced room at one of the Days Inn across the river or the like. Hopefully a place with no rats or bed bugs, and maybe clean bedding over a somewhat comfortable mattress for you to pass out on if you were lucky.

You didn't expect this.

Standing in front of the Midtown Four Seasons, you find yourself on sleek marble so polished you can see your own reflection. You haven't even stepped a foot inside yet and there are two old fashioned doormen, wearing immaculately fitted suits, with an even more impressive posture opening the majestic double-set doors for you as you approach.

It's swanky as hell, and you can’t help gawking like a tourist, eyes glued to the decadent carved ceilings that must be at least 30 feet tall, soaring above you. Honey-colored limestone that looks like it’s been looted from Ancient Rome.

You feel more than a little bit out of place. This is way outside of your budget. You could probably work your job for a lifetime, and not have enough disposable income to stay the night at a place like this.

"Uhm, Miguel... this place is way too–" you start, turning towards him.

But as you were busy lamenting the state of the housing market, he's already walked away from you (for such a bulky guy, he moves swiftly and silently) and as you whip your head around to find him, he's already standing in front of the receptionist.

Damned antelope legged man, would it kill him to wait up for you once in a while? You run up after him and have to tip-toe in order to see over his shoulder because the giant mammoth is blocking the check-in counter.

And wow, even the receptionist here is of a different caliber than the ones you'd find at Holiday Inn. A fashionable bob-cut with razor sharp edges, looking like a model cut out from a Vogue cover.

"Do you have a reservation, Sir?"

You half-expect him to say no, and that the two of you would have to tuck your tail between your legs and walk out of here to the backdrop of a sad trombone playing.

To your astonishment he says your name. The receptionist tip-taps away at her keyboard and then she nods and smiles gracefully at you both. 

"Yes of course. After reviewing your reservation details, I am pleased to inform you that all necessary arrangements have already been made, including advance payment and verification of your identification. Your room is ready for you, we trust you will enjoy your stay."

She flashes you a pearly white smile so shiny it's almost blinding and hands you a hotel key card. 

When you turn around, to your confusion Miguel is no longer next to you. How does he keep disappearing like this? 

"Cielito," Miguel’s voice calls. The nickname doesn’t register at first. It doesn't even occur to you that he’s referring to you, until he barks it out a second time. 

Your head darts up to see him standing by the elevator, tapping his feet impatiently as he waits for you to make it over to him.

"How did you do that?" you whisper loudly to him as you step into the elevator. "Where did you get my ID? How did you make a reservation? How did you--"

He takes your hand, mid-sentence, turning your wrist upwards and taps the watch.

"The computer systems in this universe are child's play for Lyla to manipulate. Reservations, money, ID, she can take care of all of that easily," he explains.

"She can do that?" you ask, and Miguel merely nods at you as the elevator closes behind the two of you.

You tip your head down to inspect your gifted watch. In awe of this technical marvel that would make Siri look like it’s from the stone-ages. You wonder if she can boost your credit scores. She could probably hack any wi-fi password so you'd never have to worry about data throttling again. She could get you table reservations for Libertine! The possibilities are endless!

You turn to Miguel. "Can Lyla get me Beyoncé tickets?" you ask. 

He just shakes his head at you with what almost qualifies as an amused smile.

The room upstairs is massive. 

It’s easily three times the size of your little studio apartment, and the ceilings are twice as tall, with a hanging glass chandelier that’s sparkling bright enough to blind you. It looks like one of those places featured in Architectural Digest. 

Everything is in an art deco style, with expensive looking furniture and even more expensive art hanging on the one spare wall that isn’t covered in floor to ceiling windows. There are large shelves and a sleek looking kitchen, complete with an opulent looking velvet lounge chair of emerald green that looks like something a Roman emperor would be fed grapes on. 

In this colossal space of a room, there is only one bed. One colossal, plush-mattress-topped, goose down duvet and probably 1,000,000,000 thread count sheet covered bed.

You tense up, not sure what the arrangements Miguel had in mind. Did he want the two of you to sleep in the same bed?

Miguel did pay for the room, so you’re not going to start voicing objections. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time in the short time span that you two have known each other to do that. This bed is also a lot wider than your tiny double bed, so it wouldn’t be the cramped disaster it was last night. You’d just have to make sure to use the bathroom before bed this time so he doesn’t jab your full bladder in the morning again. 

Without saying anything, Miguel strides across the length of the room with impatient and determined steps. His hand reaches for the balcony doors and slides them open. 

"Wait wait, where are you going?" you ask him as you run up to the middle of the room. 

“I’m sleeping outside,” he says over his shoulder, and your mind boggles with that. 

“Why? Isn’t it better for you to stay here?”

"This is the 62nd floor. That’s about as safe as you’re going to get. I’ll keep a lookout to make sure no more helicopters come crashing in.” 

You’re not sure if he means the last part as a joke or not, but as you watch his broad back retreating as he walks away from you, a sickening sort of the deja vu twists through your chest. 

I can’t save you, he’d said back in your apartment, Nothing can. 

The feeling clawing at your chest feels alarmingly like panic. It screams that he’s leaving you. That he’s never coming back. That you’ll never see him again. 

You’re being irrational, and you know it. You remind yourself that he wouldn’t have done this much for you only to bail in the middle of the night, but that doesn’t stop the fear that’s festering, sharp and urgent, under your skin, or the way your heart races, your whole body flashing hot and cold at the same time. 

You want him to stay. 

“Miguel,” you call out, and he immediately stops and turns to look back at you, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical question. 

Please stay. 

You open your mouth, but the words won’t come out. You can’t ask this man—this big, sarcastic, rude hulk of a man—to have a sleepover with you because you’re scared to be alone in the dark. He would laugh you out of the hotel room.

“Uhm… thank you,” you say instead, but it’s no less sincere, “For everything.”

His eyes soften, the sharp narrowness of them easing up. “It’s fine,” he mumbles, and despite the cold chill of the evening, you think you can see a faint flush blooming in his cheeks, before he quickly ducks his face from you. “I’ll be right outside if something happens.” 

He turns back around and walks out, closing the patio doors with a gentle click behind him, leaving you by yourself. 

It’s quiet. 

You survey the empty room you’re in. Without Miguel’s large frame taking up space, it seems even bigger than it did before. 

It’s a beautiful room. Something that you’re pretty sure you’ve seen in a movie set. You don’t know why you’re not as excited as you were before. This is you living your Pretty Woman moment. You should be filling up the big jacuzzi tub you saw with bubbles. Heck, maybe ask Lyla to order you a bottle of champagne from room service. 

Instead, your eyes linger on the glass patio doors leading to the balcony terrace. You walk over to the bed, perching yourself down on the edge of the mattress, then flop down. 

Might as well try to sleep, you think to yourself as you climb under the covers and switch off the light. The best thing you can do right now is catch yourself some rest so you’ll be alert while trying to figure out your next steps tomorrow.

3 months… That’s what Miguel told you.

That’s all the time you have left. 

That means you don’t have time to waste, but you also have no idea where to start. The local library doesn’t exactly carry any resources on how to stop the universe from trying to kill you. 

The Universe. 

An infinite cosmos, grander than any human being can possibly comprehend. This vast space containing all the galaxies with its billions of stars and planets, where an individual being does not even register as a speck, and it wants you dead. How can you possibly fight against those odds? 

You lie wide-eyed and awake staring into the dark of the room, and the feeling of dread gnaws into you. 

You don’t want to be alone right now. Turning in the bed, your eyes find their way back to the blank slate of the pitched night outside the balcony doors. 

You really wished he had stayed with you. 

Sitting upright in the bed, you consider your options. You can lie back down. Suffer insomnia and the existential horror of knowing the universe is trying to murder you. Or you can man up, swallow down whatever tiny morsel of your pride you have left and ask Miguel to come back inside and stay with you. 

Flinging the duvet from your body, you get up to walk over to the balcony. You hesitate for a moment before tapping the window pane the way you might knock on a door, giving a polite head's up before you slide the balcony patio open. But when you poke your head out, turning your head left and right, Miguel's nowhere to be found. 

Okay, that’s weird. He said he’d be right outside if you needed him. You walk up to the ledge of the balcony terrace, leaning over the rail and peer down to see him dangling upside down, from the ledge of your balcony. The sight nearly makes you scream. 

"Miguel!” 

At you calling his name, he pulls himself up, one clawed hand gripping at the concrete wall as he climbs his way up and over to you. He makes it look easy, as if gravity does not exist for him, and it’s only a moment until he’s perched on the ledge of the balcony, facing you. 

“What’s wrong?” he demands, eyes concerned, and you’re suddenly aware of how very close he is. His face mere inches from yours, your noses nearly touching.

“What’s wrong? You’re hanging upside down from the 62nd floor! What are you, a bat?!"

“Why did you come out here?” he clarifies, and his words give you pause. You try to gather your thoughts after the bizarre sight you just walked into and remember what you came out here for. 

He’s still looking at you with his full and intense concentration that makes your skin prickle with warmth.

God, it’s embarrassing to ask. You feel like you’re five years old, asking your parents to turn the nightlight on, even though you know you’re a big girl now and aren’t supposed to be afraid of monsters hiding under your bed any more. 

You look down on your hands, where you’re wringing them together, then back up at him, and make yourself spit it out, "Could you… maybe… stay with me tonight?" 

His eyes widen at your question, but he doesn’t actually answer you and gives you no physical indication one way or the other. 

"I feel safer when you're with me,” you admit. 

“I am with you out here,” he counters, because of course he can’t make this easy for you.  

“I can’t see you out here.”

The line of his shoulder eases, and he ducks his head down with a resigned sigh. "Fine. Get back inside, Cielito. You're going to catch a cold like this."

You shuffle back inside to your bed, watching out of the corner of your eye as  he follows you inside and settles himself on the lounge sofa. He’s so tall that his feet are sticking out over the armrests, like a long-legged stork. 

Hiding a smile, you climb back into bed, wrapping the bedding all around yourself.

“Good night,” you call out, and he makes a grumpy noise of acknowledgment. 

Your head drops back onto the soft pillow, and you close your eyes, ready to sleep. It’s such a nice bed. The sheets are cool and soft against your skin and smell of fresh eucalyptus. The mattress is the most comfortable you ever remember resting on, firm but somehow soft at the same time. You feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud. 

Moments go by, and you revel in the sumptuous bed, waiting for the best sleep of your life to claim you. 

Except it doesn’t. 

Somehow… you still can’t fall asleep. Is it… too soft maybe? You turn in the bed, twisting your torso to get into a position you can comfortably sink into, but something doesn’t feel right. There’s no lumpiness like at home, but that should be a good thing. 

Except… despite the decadent softness of the bed. Despite the fact that the sheets probably have a thread count with more zeros than your checking and savings accounts combined. Despite all of the luxury that surrounds you, you still find yourself tossing and turning and wide fucking awake.

The bed is too big. You don’t know what to do with all this space. Your body is not accustomed to this sort of decadence. What if you suffocate sinking into this soft fluffy pillow in your sleep? What if you toss and turn until you fall off this massive bed and break your neck? Maybe that’s how out of all of the universe’s attempts to kill you, you end up dying? 

Fuck! 

You can’t sleep. 

You turn to your side and stare into the velvet lounge chaise on the opposite side of your room, where Miguel is. 

Quietly, you pad up to his still form until you’re standing in front of him and hunch over, trying to decide how rude it would be to wake him up again when there's nothing he can do about your stupid insomnia anyway.

In the dim light, you spot something glinting at you. Looking closer, you notice that the thin chain looped around his neck has escaped his shirt to pool on the fabric of the sofa cushion under him. You gently drag the loose end of the necklace toward you, and find a smooth golden band threaded onto it.

Picking it up cautiously, you flip it in your hand and find that there's something engraved on the inside.  It's hard to see in the darkness, but when you lean closer and squint your eyes, you can just make out what it says.

'MO'—undeniably the initials of one Miguel O'Hara.

Twisting the ring slightly, you find a tiny plus sign followed by your own initials, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach.

Oh.

The memory of sitting across Miguel at Starbucks returns to you, when you had asked him who you were to him. You think of the avoidant gaze and how he couldn't look you in the eye.

‘Something like that,’ huh?

Guess the other you wasn't just his girlfriend after all, you think, chest drawn so tight it’s painful.

Holding the wedding band in the palm of your hand, you slide down to sit down on the floor with your back pressed against the chaise lounge.

Your heart aches for the man in front of you and everything he's lost.  You really, really hope you're not going to end up as just another regret on his list.

~ Next Issue

Dedication & Credits: As always to my best friend @thirstworldproblemss I am half asleep and running on fumes. I'm wording things poorly but I just want you to know that I am very happy I have you. Thank you for being my friend and for the time we get to spend together. I have the most fun when I'm with you.

Also to @guruan who is my muse, my source of inspiration. This chapter is dedicated to her because have you seen this beautiful piece of artwork she did for EYEM?!

[michelle-is-writing]

Doubt, Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1k~

I've noticed Spencer avoiding me lately and looking rather sad. He doesn't reject me when I give him attention, but its almost as if he never returns the favor. I commonly see him reading a book for a few minutes before losing focus or interest in the work of literature and putting it down with a sigh. It's unusual for Spencer to lose interest in something so quickly, and it's strange for Spencer to not talk to me as much as he usually would.

After returning from a day of work at the BAU, Spencer does what he usually does and places his bag beside the door along with his shoes before stripping off his coat and hanging it up. Walking over to me, he plops down on the couch beside me and plops his head beside my legs. Happy to see him, I smile at down him, moving my hand to lightly drag my finger across his cheek. He doesn't smile at this, but he doesn't pull away from my touch either. This is my moment to ask him.

"Spence, baby," I say his name, causing him to glance up at me. "Are you okay?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "You haven't been your usual self, and I'm kind of worried."

Staring up at me, Spencer stays quiet for several seconds before sighing and answering me. "I'm okay, yes," he answers, sitting up. "I've just... I've just had a few things on my mind lately," With his back facing me, I move closer to him before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into me, his head laying back on my shoulder.

"Then tell me," I say to him, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Spencer shakes his head in a way that says he doesn't think it's a big deal; we've been dating for so long that we know what each other's movements mean. I know when he purses his lips and shakes his head that he doesn't think something is a big deal. I also know that when Spencer's eyes stare straight ahead instead of meeting mine that he's afraid to tell me something, or he's a bit hesitant in what he's about to say. Even though he's doing all of these, I don't stop asking him until he finally sighs and begins to speak, his voice low.

"I'm not good enough for you," Spencer tells me, making me a little confused. "I can't do a lot of things with you like travel or take you on planned dates without stupid work cutting in," he sighs, closing his eyes. "Besides, I'm never home with you for more than two or three days. Not to mention I'm socially awkward and I sometimes don't know what to say... sometimes, all I can think about is how you're too good for me, and you deserve someone so, so much better."

After hearing his confession, I don't know what to say. I wait a few moments to respond as I slowly process through everything Spence just admitted. I never knew he thought this way, but now it all makes sense. The way he's avoided me for the past few days... the way he constantly apologizes for silly mistakes even though it's not that big of a deal... it all pieces together now.

"I wish you wouldn't say such lies," I finally answer him, placing my hand on the side of his face. Turning him toward me, I push my lips against his, smiling as he kisses back before pulling me into his lap and close to his chest. It's moments like these that I live for, that I dream about. I crave these moments day and night, and when they happen, nothing around me matters. All that matters is my lips on Spencer's, and his heart beating against my own.

Pulling away from the kiss, I rub my thumb against his cheek before finishing my sentence. "But you're all that I've ever wanted in my life," I continue, sighing blissfully while tears come to my eyes. "And if I'm being honest, you're perfect for me. I know that sounds selfish, but-"

Before I can keep on, Spencer's lips reattach themselves to mine again before his hands find their way into my hair. With Spencer finally making the move to kiss me after what feels like forever, I tearfully smile and wrap my arms around his neck, linking my hands together. Soon, we're both lying down on the couch with my body beneath Spencer's own perfect body.

Pulling away to breathe, Spencer smiles softly and sweetly at me, the entire room lighting up as he does so. "You're perfect for me too," He confesses, his voice gentle and calm. "I can't live without you. If you'll have me, I-I'd like to marry you one day," Spencer further concludes, making my eyes widen as everything around me comes to a halt.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" I ask, staring up at him with wide eyes. In response, Spencer gently smiles and nods.

"I don't want it to seem like this is a split-second decision I'll regret later because it isn't, and I know I'll never regret this," He begins, taking my hand in his. "But this feels so right. When thinking about being with you for the rest of my life, I thought maybe you wouldn't want me, but now... it just seems like the perfect moment to do this,"

Leaning back down, Spencer's lips hover over mine as he continues, my full name falling from his lips as I smile with tears in my eyes once again. "If you'll let me, I'd like to make you (Y/n) (M/n) Reid instead," he confesses, smiling. "The only thing I'd ever want to change about you is your last name," his comment makes me giggle before leaning up and attaching my lips to his, holding him closer once more.

"Yes, Spencer," I answer him, pulling back to stare into his beautiful hazelnut orbs. "A million times yes," I add, placing my hands on the sides of his face before kissing him again, my fingers running against the light stubble of his cheeks as his hands find their way to my waist. Once again, my lips are on Spencer's, and our hearts are beating against each other's, although this time, it feels as if our heartbeats are one in the same.

[that-one-banger-of-a-rhcp-song]

A Rodrick x reader where they're friends with benefits and aren't aware of each others feelings towards the other util reader gets asked out by someone from their school :]

i started this one earlier and then the draft got deleted (this is why you dont take grilled cheese brakes kids) Thank you so much for the request, i have never written fwb before so i hope i meet your expectations :) (p.s. im a sucker for hand/knuckle kisses and it shows) lets just say greg and rowley weren't there for the party.

"Dammit Rodrick," you chuckled slightly, sitting on a desk.

"What?" The raven haired boy started, "Don't like doing this anymore?" His hot breath tickled against your neck.

"It's not that," you muttered, "I just, don't feel like making out in an empty classroom five minutes before lunch ends."

"Oh, 'cause you are so above that," he retorted, going back to his assault on your neck and jawline.

"I'm turning over a new leaf!" You leaned back slightly, humming.

"Proud of yourself?" his hand relocated to your waist, the other supporting his weight.

"I would say I'm more proud of you,"

"Oh?"

"You haven't gotten a detention in two days!" at that, the boy laughed, and removed his head from the crook of your neck.

'God I love you!' he wanted to say, but you seemed content with your current status, and he got to make out with you whenever he wanted... so he was fine! Totally.

"Has that Micha kid been bothering you?" The so called 'Micha kid' had been trying to hit on you for months, and you were to nice to tell him you secretly hated him, but you were working on it (thanks to Rodrick)

"Kind of? He tries to talk to me a lot, but he's less persistent."

"Good" he smiled, patting your waist before kissing you again.

You pulled away after a moment, "We should probably get our stuff," you commented, pulling him out of his blissful state.

"uh, yeah!" god he was so awkward sometimes. He held out his hand for you to take, (which you did) and you slid off the desk.

"You're such a gentleman!" you mocked in a brittish accent

"Oh, I know, love," he carried on.

-----------

'party at my house -rodrick' The text had been sent four minutes ago on the dot. Your parents were out of town, so you could go without being caught. So you fucking did. You put on a white button-down, black skinny jeans that were torn to shreds, and You put your earbuds in and started walking the block to the Heffley household. Your mind shifted to your previous interaction. How concerned Rodrick was being, he did care about you. and some times it felt like he loved you. you felt as if you could only dream.

---

You knocked on the door, the music was so loud already.

"Y/NNNN!" Rodrick dragged your name out, he took your hand and kissed your knuckles, "You do know this is casual, right?"

"Yes."

"Alright then. Get in here!" he pulled you in the house, there were lights, MCR's 'na na na" was blasting at full volume, and there were high-schoolers making out in random corners, someone had started a fistfight, and it seemed like it was more Rodrick's element than yours, but that was ok. And then you saw him.

Micha.

The boy who looked at you like a Piece of meat.

you grabbed Rodrick's sleeve, "Micha's here," You said desperately. He noted your concern, and looked around for the boy, "Hey," he said, grasping your arms, "It's gonna be fine! if he starts bothering you, just come find me and we can make out or some shit!" He looked you in the eyes and smiled, trying his hardest to reasure you.

"Thanks Rodrick," you said hugging him.

"Of course!"

-------

Rodrick had decided to be social, so you just wandered around the house, looking at the people you knew, and those you didn't. When you heard that terribly familiar voice.

"Hey y/n!"

Well fuck. you turned around, and sent a glare that could kill toward the boy.

"How's the party?" Micha said.

The sound of his voice made you want to yell. "Good." you said, not looking at him.

"I haven't talked to you in a while,"

"I know." you kept your answers short and half assed. Hoping he would get the memo.

He didn't.

Lucky for you, Rodrick had pardoned himself from his buddies chit chat, to make sure you were alright.

An arm looped around your shoulders, "Hi," the boy said "Uh, Micheal, was it?"

"Micha."

"Oh, sorry meesha,"

"That isn't even close to my name."

"Cool" you were never really religious, but you took the time to thank god for Rodrick. "Now, Mickey, can you not tell that you're making y/n uncomfortable?"

"I figured they would tell me if-"

"Micha, I don't like you." you said, voice laced with anger, "I never fucking have."

The boy just looked at you sadly and nodded before walking away.

"Rodrick, thank-" you were cut off by a rather agressive and passionate kiss.

"Y/n I love you. It's okay if you don't love me back but seeing you that uncomfortable made me want to tell you."

you could only stand there shocked. "I- Rodrick I" you stuttered, "I love you too. I always have and I really want to thank you for keeping me close!"

Just hearing those words made his heart melt and his confidence boost dramatically.

"I know this is my party, but" He tried, "Wanna blow this place?"

[violetasteracademic]

Why do you think gwyn would be added as a love interest for azriel if they don’t end up as endgame? Why complicate the love triangle between elain/lucien/azriel?

Hello my lovely anon!

It can sometimes be hard to tell where the anonymous asks in my inbox are coming from. It is never my intention to argue or try to convince any other ships why they are wrong. I tag my work very carefully, ask my beloved rebloggers to do the same, and just want to stay in a cozy bubble. I think all ships are allowed, and the time I spend here breaking down the text and providing analysis is only for fun and comfort. I don't ever want or wish for my posts to end up in the wrong tags. Now that I've gotten that disclaimer out of the way, this is an ask where I can't *totally* tell what perspective it is coming from, but I am assuming it is being asked in good faith and I will answer how I typically do.

Point blank, I do not believe G/wyn was introduced as a love interest. Only Elain was.

I don't really know that I have anything else to add to that conversation, because people either think it was romantic or it wasn't. But I will say that I assume we can all agree on all sides that the bonus chapter is what led to the fervor of the G/wynriel ship as G/wyn quite literally replacing Elain as the romantic interest and not just a fun, enjoyable ship for those who don't jive with Elriel and want to carve out a space for themselves in the fandom. And as someone who has read all of SJM's bonus chapters and not just this one, I'm going to provide side by side comparisons using *only* bonus chapters that I can almost guarantee many people have not read- since most people don't read the bonus chapters. I still get comments on old tiktoks every day asking what the Azriel bonus chapter is and where to find it. And not once have I ever been asked about the myriad of other BC's out there.

Crescent City Spoilers ahead:

House of Sky and Breath has three bonus chapters. There is one in particular that is almost a carbon copy of G/wyn and Azriel's portion in his POV bonus, and it is the Tharion POV chapter with Hypaxia:

^^Both men head to a place where they assumed they would be alone, minds heavy and restless and needing to work off some tension before they could sleep- only to find their space already occupied.

^^They both flounder a bit with social niceties, awkwardness, being polite, the other person clearly wanting to be alone, and yet wind up falling into a conversation anyway.

^^ Both pairs experience surprise at being asked questions no one has ever asked them before. They also reveal information about themselves- and notably- both bonus chapters reveal heavy backstory or indications about unique or hidden powers.

^^ Both men experience some sort of lingering sensation that they could have sworn was happening after saying goodnight.

And last but not least:

Both Tharion and Azriel end on a particularly strong emotional note. Tharion is passing notes through Fitz back and forth with Hypaxia. He notes how he has never had such an instant, honest, and deep connection. He won't let anyone interfere with her birthright, and if she was in danger, he would risk everything he had to protect Hypaxia.

Azriel is secretly regifting a necklace to Gwyn, and feels truly happy at the thought that it might make her happy. He likes and respects her and is glad to think of being able to make her smile. (I of course think there is a reason for this, which I've broken down here but I also don't think it's necessary to minimize their friendship for this post.)

If you look at these two bonus chapters side by side, they are literally a copy and paste. Two people needing to be alone and winding up together, talking about things they have never talked about anyone with, and both men really powerfully feeling the strength and depth of a connection. And if you read Tharion's chapter in full, there are actually way more details of him talking about how beautiful and gorgeous she is, and how he has to stop himself from going down that road. But did this set up Hypaxia and Tharion as romantic love interests?

Nope. Hypaxia is queer as queer can be. Kitty only on her menu. But they develop a very genuine and close friendship. Because the thing is, SJM writes an incredible amount of deep and meaningful friendships between men and women. And they are always a blend of emotion, intimacy, a bit fun and flirty, full of banter, and true trust and connection. So as far as BC's, Azriel and G/wyn and Tharion and Hypaxia are the only comparable ones in her catalogue. And they are pretty damn comparable. It's also important to note that the Tharion and Hypaxia bonus chapter was included in the book where she is very much revealed as 100% queer and not even a little bi, so it's not like SJM was trying to create a red herring or a conversation. That's just how she writes her hetero platonic friendships. Take it up with her, man.

Meanwhile, the things that make it clear that a romantic interest is being introduced occurs in the Elain portion, and can be directly compared to the Nessian bonus chapter. Both men being willing to beg on their knees for a taste. Both men absolutely losing their minds over Elain and Nesta's scents. Both men knowing it was wrong, it was stupid, but being unable to stop themselves anyway. Both men having issues of what their family would think if they found out introduced (only Rhys DID find out and laid down that forbidden romance hard.)

Here's the thing- many people read Elain and Azriel as romantic for over four books and there were people out there like, nah, I don't see it, they are more like brother and sister. And then the bonus chapter confirmed, no, actually, they are wildly down bad and desperate for each other. Wanting to taste and touch and kiss each other- romantic interest confirmation. Fun and banter-y conversation occurring because two people needed to be alone but actually wound up in the same vicinity as someone else and had a deep conversation and talked about things they've never spoken about with anyone before-Platonic friendship. You can disagree. But it doesn't change the fact that right now, a group of fans are interpreting G/wyn and Azriel's interactions as romantic, and preferring it to Elain and Azriel's confirmed romantic interactions.

Sarah did not add G/wyn as a love interest and complicate things. The fandom did. Until Azriel is not sleeping, not thinking clearly, down bad desperate to get on his knees for G/wyn- and until G/wyn leans into his touch and says yes, they are actually currently friends. Could that change in the future? Totally. But Sarah literally has not written it yet.

I don't mind that the G/wyn ship exists. I love her. I have real life G/wynriel friends who are not online like we are. They are good people with good hearts who have different taste in Azriel's potential romance than me. They don't ride at dawn for Elain like I do, nor are they violently misogynistic against her or being toxic and hateful towards other women online. They just liked G/wyn's story and want more of her. That's okay. But it is important to pay attention to what has actually been written vs. what is being assumed by a group of people that openly dislike the only female character remaining with a confirmed book and who has been confirmed as a love interest.

Read Sarah's other bonus chapters! They are fun. Azriel's isn't the only one that has ever existed, but it seems like that sometimes (and I'll admit, it's amazing and I love it so fair). And nothing happened in the bonus chapter that is going to change the course or foreshadow to anything new. Not everyone has access to them, and bonus chapters do not create new plot. They are just an incentive to make money and secure pre-orders.

I think that's everything! You guys are awesome for reading these insanely long posts and vibing with me here. ily.

[yumeka-sxf]

Today's new chapter was so intriguing 👀

First off, nice to see the Authens again. Guess we're sure now that Endo will make them reoccurring characters! Yor's embarrassment about being called "Mom" ("okaa-san" in the JP version) was really cute.

They managed to translate this joke very well; in the JP version, the word "ebento"(event) makes Sigmund think of "obento"(lunchbox). Using the word "function" for "luncheon" was clever!

But the main highlight of this chapter for me was seeing the ever enigmatic Melinda again after so long!

She's a really a tough one to figure out, and this chapter only brought up more questions than answers. She seems extremely nice here, being very forgiving of Millie despite her harsh accusations against her husband. She also mentions that she'd be very resentful if anything were to happen to her family...which is kind of contrasting to her thoughts about Damian from the end of the bus hijacking arc.

I also loved the scene of Yor sticking up for Millie. Her expression was so blank yet so deep at the same time. It actually reminded me of Anya's expression when she punched Damian - in both cases, their blank expression doesn't match their action, but it makes sense because they're still unsure of how to act and what emotion to portray in many seemingly "normal" situations. Anger and annoyance aren't feelings that come naturally to them.

In Yor's case here, having to defend someone against such accusations isn't something she's had much experience doing (at least not for someone who isn't family), and at the same time she can't just outright kill the hostile party like she would on an assassination mission. So despite being in such an awkward situation, especially for someone like her who struggles with social interactions, she managed to remain remarkably calm. As usual, Yor gets easily flustered when it comes to her own feelings, but if she sees someone else being threatened, her capabilities shoot up to maximum! That unpredictable expression should be feared from both her and Twilight!

We also learn that Yor lost her parents in the war, which is something I always suspected. Her words in the below panel reminded me a lot of the thoughts she had during the end of the cruise arc. As I've mentioned before, despite her naivety about many things, she understands the tragedies that go on in the world, especially in terms of war - that it's not just soldiers who suffer, but the children and everyone else left behind. It makes sense that someone who understands that kind of loss and hardship has such outpouring empathy to others the way Yor does...

...which is actually contrasting to the way Millie deals with her loss, by lashing out at others. It's said that those who have suffered can become either very sympathetic or very resentful. It was interesting to see that subtle contrast between Yor and Millie here.

Speaking of Millie, it was nice to see her get some redemption and backstory. Like Camilla, I still don't think this makes up for all the mean things she's said to Yor before, but it's something!

Good to see McMahon again after so long. Don't think he's made an appearance since the cruise arc 👀

As usual, it's hard to say if this chapter is leading to a new arc or not. I'm sure things mentioned here, especially about Melinda, will come back later, but who knows if it will be right away or several chapters from now. I know we were all expecting something relating to Anya's backstory based on the previous short mission, but I still think there's a chance that what happened here could tie into that. We'll see! We're close to chapter 100 so I wonder if Endo is planning something special for that 🤔

[rekino2114]

Hmm, how about Asa mitaka being asked out on a date by one of her male classmates. And she overprepares like she did with Denji, though this time it goes better cause the Reader is an airhead that marches to the beat of his own drum, so he ends up dragging Asa to multiple different places and she ends up having fun.

First date with asa mitaka

Pairing:asa mitaka x male reader

A/n:I decided to do this in a non devil au cause my girl needs a break (sidenote but your relationship in this is literally the definition of black cat/golden retriever love. Just something I noticed)

I didn't realize i wrote this much until I reread it to color it but that should tell you how much I love asa and want her to be happy

Asa is an anxious person in general, especially in social situation and especially when it comes to romance. She never had a boyfriend and never really thought about having one, and she's very clueless to love as a result, so when one of her classmates (who she admittedly had a crush on too) asked her out on a date she freaked out incredibly hard.

Literally, every minor thing became a concern for her. What would she wear? Should she put makeup on? How much? Should she plan the date or leave that to you? Should she try flirting with you? (She quickly dismissed the last idea as she had no idea how to flirt, and it would make things awkward very fast)

She eventually figured out what she was gonna do and went to where she was supposed to meet you, which was a street near school. When she was there and didn't see you, her anxiety kicked in very fast. It felt like everyone was staring at her. Did you stand her up? This was probably all a prank, and she should have never accepted. After all, who would love someone like her? She was ready to go home and cry herself to sleep when a masculine voice interrupted her thoughts

"Asa! You came"

You quickly tackled her into a hug making the black haired girl blush intensely

"Y-Yeah obviously.....to be honest I thought you were gonna stood me up"

"Why would you think that? That's so rude I would never do that let alone to such a pretty girl"

Asa's cheeks basically caught on fire the moment she heard that and her brain struggled to think of a response

"T-thanks y-you look......h-handsome too"

"Aww thanks ok let's go now, we have a full day ahead of us, I promise you'll have a lot of fun"

"O-ok"

As soon asa answered, you held her hand and started dragging her around, which made her blush even more if that was possible

After a while, you two arrived where you wanted to go, which was an arcade.

"An arcade?"

"Yeah, you don't like it? I wanted to play some games with you but if you don't want to we can do something else"

"Oh no it's fine"

"Great let's go then"

You walked inside and started running around and looking at everything until you arrived in front of a cabinet and pointed at it

"Look they have DDR come on let's give it a try"

"Oh no I-I don't know how to dance"

"Neither do i, don't worry, you don't need to know how to dance to play, just step on the plates"

Asa started to think: if she said yes, there was the possibility she was gonna embarrass herself, but if she said no, then you would probably think she was boring and wouldn't like her something which she really didn't want to happen

"A-alright, I'll try"

"Great! I know you can do it"

You two started playing with asa actually having fun, the game was dumb but seeing you get so excited over getting a high score made her want to smile too, you eventually finished playing and continued going around

"*gasp* a claw machine! Do you want a plushie?"

"Oh no thanks, those things are a scam anyway"

You put your coin in before she even finished the sentence

"Come on it's fine, what kind of guy would I be to not get you anything, I'm a pro at this anyway"

"Whatever you say"

You spent.....way too much time and way too much money but eventually managed to get a cute plushie of a cat

"Yay!!! Finally"

As you grabbed it and held it to your date you quickly realized something

"O-oh sorry I never asked which plush you wanted.......do you like cats?"

"Yeah actually I love them"

"Oh thank god"

You gave asa the plushie and she spent a bit staring at it happily before turning to you

"If I may ask, why did you get me this in particular?"

"Well you just seem like a cat person, if that makes sense like your whole vibe screams I like cats"

"........is-is that a compliment?"

"Yeah I love cats, they're really fluffy and adorable"

Asa smiled and hugged the plushie tighter

"I agree, they're really cute"

".....you look cute when you smile"

"H-huh?"

"I mean you look cute in general but your smile is extra cute, it makes me happy to see you happy"

The black haired girl felt her heart flutter once more at your words

"T-thank you"

"Don't mention it, now let's go, the date is not over yet you know"

You two went (you dragged her) to a bunch more places to have fun, which asa actually did, which was a surprise to her because she usually felt more comfortable alone but in this instance she genuinely felt happy to have said yes when you asked her out, your positive attitude made her forget all about the worries she had before, she felt like she could just relax and have fun with you.

Eventually evening came and the date ended so you started walking asa to her home

"Ah that was great I had so much fun"

"Yeah me too........thank you"

"No thank you for accepting, I don't know what I would have done if you said no"

"......you cared this much about me?"

"Of course, you're so pretty and cute and fun to hang out with, I had a crush on you for the longest time, denji was pressuring me to ask you out for a while"

"Wow really? I-i just-it's still kinda hard to believe someone can like me like that"

"Don't say that, you're awesome asa and don't let anyone tell you otherwise not even yourself"

Asa felt like crying a bit, you actually loved her.......she had struggled with actually loving herself, the fact that someone else could say that to her with a smile on their face and with nothing but truth made her smile so brightly

"......thank you, thank you so much"

"It's nothing. Do you wanna take a selfie?"

"Hm?"

"I just wanna get something to remember this day. If we do actually become a thing, I would hate to have nothing of the first date with my amazing girlfriend"

"Y-yes alright"

"Great. Say cheeeeseee!"

You pulled out your phone and did a peace sign to the camera while making sure to get asa in the shot too, you saw her smile like she did earlier and you loved it

"This looks good, great smile, I'll keep it, but tell me if you want me to delete it ok? I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable because of me"

"Oh no it's alright"

"Amazing, oh hey isn't this your house?"

"Yeah it is, thanks for accompanying me"

"It's nothing soooooo.... second date when?"

Asa giggled at how enthusiastic you sounded

"I'll text you when and where"

"Great so we are having a second date"

"Of course, like I said, I had a lot of fun and would love to hang out with you again"

"Thanks so much, I'm really glad you think so"

You got close to asa and kissed her cheek which immediately got red, asa put her hand on the place you had kissed before looking back at her date who in the meantime was already walking away but turned back to wave at her

"See you at school tomorrow!"

Asa smiled before waving back at you

"Yeah see you"

[lucy90712]

Can you do a pedri x gf!reader imagine where she’s with him during all of The Residency shoot & sees that the girl social media worker has been getting a little too close for comfort. Gf tries to stay calm the whole time until she finally snaps & then she thinks pedri is gonna be upset at her but he’s actually really turned on by the fact that she’s territorial of him

A/n: I changed it up a bit as I don’t usually write stuff like this so I hope it’s ok

WC: 2.1k

Yesterday afternoon Pedri asked me to go with him to his shoot with the residency today because he gets a bit awkward when on camera so he wanted me to be there so there was a familiar face in the room. Of course I agreed to go as I always love spending time with him and I think it's sweet that he wants me there but I'm definitely a little bit nervous too. I have always been really anxious about meeting new people so to be in a room full of them is a bit nerve wracking for me but I am going to be there for Pedri and I'm sure everything will be fine.

This morning Pedri had training which he brought me to as well because we had to go to the shoot right after. I haven't been to one of his training sessions in a long time so it was nice to see the whole team as I get on with them all really well. Getting to talk to the guys before we had to leave relaxed me as I remembered meeting them all and being so nervous but I survived and now we are all good friends so I will be fine with meeting the crew for the shoot. They all knew where we were going so they told us to have fun and Robert told me to make sure I enjoy myself as he knows how anxious I get. Pablo also sent me a smile which didn't need any words with it as I knew what he was trying to say. 

On the drive Pedri kept me talking about anything other than the shoot and he held my hand tightly to keep me distracted which he is very good at. Once we arrived the crew all came outside to greet us and Pedri got out the car first to say hi before opening my door for me and introducing me to everyone. My anxiety faded quite quickly as everyone was so lovely and they were more interested in Pedri which meant I was able to just blend into the background and take some time to calm down. We all went inside and Pedri got his hair done while someone else explained everything they would be doing which started off with a live stream and then they wanted him to film some TikToks which I just know Pedri will hate. 

"Amor do you want to be on camera?" Pedri asked 

Our relationship is semi public so people know we are together but we don't often post with each other only on special occasions. Most pictures of us together are taken by other people as I don't like to put myself out there too much as I only ever get hate anyway. So being part of a live stream isn't really up my alley but I don't mind if I'm seen in the background.

"I would prefer to not be but I don't mind being seen in the background" I said 

"Thats ok we can keep you out of shot" one of the men there said 

"Thank you" I said 

Once Pedri was ready they got everything up and started the live stream so I sat out of the shot but somewhere were I could still see what was going on. Things started off simply as they got Pedri to play some fifa which he does a lot at home so that made him more relaxed and I could tell he was starting to really enjoy himself. Whenever he scored he looked over in my direction to see my reaction like he does when we are at home so I gave him a big smile which he returned. After the game they made him do karaoke which even I've never seen before as he refuses every time we go out, it was so hard not to laugh at him but I held back my laughter as not to disrupt anything. 

The next thing on the list was a Q&A but most of the questions were things I've heard him answer a million times so I kind of lost focus and started paying attention to other things. As I was doing so I noticed the girl that's part of the team getting rather close to Pedri. I'm used to seeing things like this as fans quite often get close to Pedri or other girls when we go out places but they never go too far so it doesn't really bother me. This girl however was already getting on my nerves as she was constantly staring at him like not taking her eyes off of him. She was also sat really close to Pedri and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable with her so close but she didn't take the hint, if anything she got closer to him. 

Now that I've noticed it I have found myself constantly looking and getting more annoyed by the second. The girl then touched his hand which he instantly moved out the way but I could feel the jealousy and anger coursing through my veins. I'm not one for confrontation in fact I would usually do anything to avoid it but this girl was really getting on my nerves. She was touching my man right in front of my face without a care in the world which is driving me insane. I know Pedri would never even entertain this on any normal day but today he can't do anything without looking like an asshole in front of thousands of fans on the livestream which is so unfair as this girl is definitely taking advantage of that. If it were possible there would definitely be steam coming out of my ears but it's not so instead I can feel my cheeks heating up in anger. 

Eventually after what felt like hours of torture the livestream ended and Pedri was finally able to escape that girl and come over to where I was sat. He sat next to me and put his arm loosely around my waist which made me feel a whole lot better. As much as I hate what this girl is doing Pedri has done nothing wrong and I need to remember that he loves me not this other girl. Having him by my side made me feel so much better as all of his attention was on me and not on that other girl and he was telling me how he is actually willing to do karaoke with me now. We were having a good time and he was just about to kiss me when the girl came over and rudely interrupted by telling Pedri that they had to get back to filming now. He whispered that he was sorry and the look in his eyes told me that he felt bad but it didn't stop the anger building up in me again. 

She dragged him away from me and outside so I had to follow behind and find somewhere to sit but everywhere I went to sit she made someone move to get in my way. In the end I gave up and just sat on my phone but I made sure to keep an eye on what was going on as I'm no fool so I'm not taking my eyes off that girl. Having my eyes on her made absolutely no difference as she was getting more and more touchy by the second. Instead of just asking Pedri to move to where he was needed she put her hands on his chest and I swear I saw her drag her hand down his abs but that could just be the jealousy taking over.

The longer I was sat there watching the more I felt like I had to do something. My last boyfriend cheated on me because I was too soft and I just let him go out with all these girls because I trusted him but I'm not going to let that happen again. I trust Pedri I really do but I'm not going let some girl take advantage of that he's my boyfriend and she needs to be respectful of that and leave him alone. As they were filming I was thinking about all the outrageous things I could do to put this girl in her place most of which were absolutely crazy and would probably get me arrested and definitely ruin Pedri's reputation but then I thought of a great idea that wasn't too much but got my message across. 

As if the world was reading my mind they stopped filming to take a quick break, I didn't need telling twice so I put my plan into action. I got myself up and wandered over to Pedri with a level of sass I don't think I've ever reached before in my life but it felt great. I walked straight over to Pedri and put my hand on his chest as I stood in front of him which took him by surprise as I don't think I've ever acted like this in my life let alone around him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the girl was staring at the both of us so I put the rest of my plan into action and got on my toes to kiss Pedri. He was still in shock so I was able to kiss him more passionately which helped me release some of the anger I was feeling and it was definitely annoying the girl which is a huge bonus. 

After I pulled away Pedri smiled at me and pressed another kiss to my lips before the girl said they were going to start filming again so I walked away and went back to my position on the outside chair. As I sat down my rush of adrenaline dissipated and along with it went all the extra confidence I had just gathered leaving me feeling awful about what I just did. I'm really not one to do something like that and I'm not really sure why I did it, I mean it's not like Pedri was paying any attention to this girl and we won't ever see her again so it doesn't matter if she was touchy or not. Guilt flowed through my body as I realised that in the heat of the moment I made a stupid decision that probably doesn't paint me in the best light if someone were to tell the story without my side. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and I can't believe I let myself get carried away with it Pedri probably thinks I'm some psycho now as he's never seen me act in such a way in the whole time we've known each other. 

For the rest of the shoot I just sat quietly letting my thoughts take over so when it was finally time for us to leave I politely thanked all the crew and said goodbye before getting out of there as quickly as humanly possible. I was silent on the drive home too as I was still feeling bad about overreacting like that and trying to think of what I could say to Pedri to apologise for embarrassing him in front of a brand he works with. When we arrived home I went straight inside to start making dinner as I feel like I need to do something nice for Pedri to help him forgive me for acting like a crazy woman. 

"Amor is everything ok?" Pedri asked

"Yeah everything's fine" I replied bluntly 

"Come on I know somethings up you were so quiet on the drive home, if it's that girl I promise I would've done more to push her away if I could but I only love you you know that right" he said 

"It's not that I feel awful for acting the way I did" I admitted 

"What do you mean?" He asked 

"The way I kissed you just to get her to back off I shouldn't have done that because it just makes you look bad but I just got so carried away with my jealousy that I couldn't stop myself I'm sorry" I said 

"There's no need to be sorry baby you didn't do anything wrong you just kissed me which you're allowed to do plus I thought it was hot the way you wanted to show her I'm yours" he said 

"Really you didn't think it was too much" I questioned 

"No I loved it you're so hot when you get jealous plus that kiss was amazing 10/10 I might have to make you jealous again so you'll kiss me like that" he joked 

"Please don't do that I can kiss you like that without being jealous" I said 

"Well go on then" he smirked 

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

First Time!February- Fic 6

Soft!Dom Lee Know x sub!fem reader

Requested by: this is all me baby

Content Includes: angst (a lot of it), reader is depressed and insecure about her lack of experience, slow burn, kissing, praise, crying, unprotected sex (don't do it), fingering (f receiving), oral (receiving), body worship (receiving), slight humiliation, fluff, virgin!reader, nipple play, cum play, comfort sex, corruption kink, possessiveness, hand-holding, aftercare.

I don't feel the themes I've written in this fic are 'toxic' but I'm not sure it's healthy either so just read with care.

Word Count: 4.2 K

The mug of tea was warm in your hands as you felt Lee Know sit down next to you on the couch, his hands cupped around his own as awkward silence filled the air. 

‘It’s um…been awhile since we last saw each other’ Lee Know commented, taking a sip of his tea as he gazed down at you. 

He didn’t know why he invited you to his place, he didn’t know you well, you were a friend of a friend that he has only spoken to a handful of times at social gatherings, made small talk here and there. 

‘Yeah, um at the party’ You chuckled awkwardly, Lee Know watched your body language, your posture was slumped and your shoulders drooped. 

‘I’m surprised you remembered me, I look very different dressed up than when I wear normal clothes’. 

The quip was light-hearted but it didn’t reach your eyes, the eyes he remembered that were bright and lively when he last saw you. 

‘Ahh, you gotta try and camouflage yourself more then, I was able to spot you right away in the store’ Lee Know joked half-heartedly, his eyes crinkling at the outer corners and smiling slightly at the giggle that filled the room. 

His stomach twisted lightly when you finally looked directly at him since sitting on the couch, your face was pale and he noticed how blotchy your skin looked, like you had been crying…and a lot. 

‘So…’ You raised the cup to your chin, blowing on the liquid lightly before taking a small sip, gulping before you spoke again. 

‘How are things with you? You seeing anyone?’ 

Your voice cracked at the end of the sentence and furrowed your brow as you cringed, hoping Lee Know didn’t notice how shaky your voice was. 

He didn’t reply right away as he watched your features and how you looked at him, he wanted to ask if you were okay but he didn’t know how, didn’t want to make things weird. 

‘Good…things haven’t changed much’ He took a sip, exhaling before speaking again. 

‘And no, I’m not seeing anyone, I’m too busy’ He held the mug on his thigh as he watched you again. 

‘You?’ 

The tightness in your throat came back at the question, your chest hitching as your fingers clenched around the mug of tea. 

‘No…course not…and I’m alright’. 

The light went off in Lee Know’s mind as he took another sip of tea, bingo…he thought as he held the mug of tea in his hand, shifting his legs so his body was facing you. 

‘You don’t look alright’ He supported his head with his arm, leaning it on the edge of the couch, his lip pursed in concern. 

‘What?’ Your voice pitched in tone, eyes widening at how straight-forward the comment was. 

He leaned in slightly, eyebrows furrowing as he thought about his answer, trying to refrain his response in a way that was inviting and not condescending. 

‘You don’t look alright’ He repeated with a soft but firm tone, speaking as he placed his mug on the table. 

‘You look…troubled, what’s going on for you?’ 

There was a lingering pause as you watched each other, an array of emotions spreading across your face as you pondered whether to be vulnerable or not. 

His words felt genuine and his eyes sparkled with kindness and concern, he was here to listen and that’s something you hadn’t had in awhile. 

‘I just’ You took one final sip of tea to quench your throat before staring into the mug. 

‘I’ve been alone for a while now and it just…hurts’. 

The confusion was rampant in his body as he watched you place the mug on the table, moving to face him now as you twiddled with the hem of your cotton jumper. 

‘But you have friends right? People to talk to?’

Your eyes rolled as you dismissed his answer, your eyes misting up and your bottom lip starting to quiver. 

‘That’s not what I mean…’ 

His heart ached at seeing you tear up, you looked so defeated and he was a bit surprised, shuffling his body further towards you by an inch, leaning his chest in. 

‘Do you mean like a…boyfriend?’ 

The moment dissipated with a shaky exhale, your eyes blurring with tears as you sniffled. 

‘Yeah, I’ve never been in a relationship’ A sob strangled itself from your chest, still gazing down at your lap. 

‘And I don’t know why, I don’t know why someone doesn't want to be with me’. 

You couldn’t see the shocked look on Lee Know’s face right now but it did graze his features before he attempted to blink it away. 

Yes, he hadn’t thought of you in that way before…

But you had a great sense of humour, bright eyes and a sparkling smile, why would you think that about yourself?  

‘I’m…I’m sure that there’s someone out there who likes-’ 

‘No!’ You interrupted him, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your jumper as you shook your head. 

‘I don’t think there is, I’m 24 and no one has said anything Lee Know, I’ve asked out guys before and been rejected, no one has ever seen me that way before and I don’t know why and I just-I just feel so left out, I feel so left behind’. 

Lee Know hurriedly reached to grab the box of tissues from the coffee table, holding it to you as you pulled out some and wiped your nose, watching you catch your breath with shaky inhales. 

‘There’s nothing wrong with never being in a relationship at your age though’ His voice was low and sincere, he wasn’t touching you yet but he was close too, moving just a little bit more so both your knees were brushing against each other.

‘Everything happens differently for everyone, there’s no need to rush’. 

He hesitantly reached his fingers out as he brushed them against your knee, attempting to offer you some sort of comfort with his words and presence. 

‘I don’t know if this will help but you don’t need to compare yourselves to others, it’s okay to set your own pace and take your time with these things’. 

He was glad he invited you back to his apartment now and that he followed his intuition, he could feel you begin to relax around his space and that brought comfort to him. 

‘I know-I just’ You sighed out, wiping your cheeks before scrunching the tissue into a ball. 

‘I don’t know why guys just don’t find me attractive, I’m not ugly and I have a great personality? Is there something about me that guys just don’t like?’ 

There was no deceit in your eyes as you asked that question, you were completely genuine and wanted a serious answer from Lee Know, you weren’t sure what he could give you, you just wanted him to give you something. 

‘Um’ He cleared his throat, his eyes staring at the coffee table as he pondered, unable to think straight with how sad and fragile you looked sitting next to him right now. 

"I don’t know about other guys’ He said, glancing back at you. 

‘But I think you’re a great person’ He reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. 

‘And you’re very pretty’ He peered down at you, the corner of his lip tilted up in a half-smile. 

He watched as you gazed up at him through your lashes, your cheeks reddening from the sudden compliment. 

‘Really?’ You sniffled, complete disbelief in your eyes. 

‘Of course’ Lee Know’s eyes narrowed in mischief, his hand moving up to rub your shoulder lightly. 

‘Why would I lie?’ 

The remark made you giggle, your teeth flashing in a pearly smile as you lightly held onto Lee Know’s wrist. 

‘There it is, I got you to smile finally!’ 

A few small chuckles were shared as you leaned in to place that hand on the outside of Lee Know’s thigh, gazing up at him with adoration. 

‘Thank you, I feel so much better now’. 

‘I’m glad, I couldn't have you leave here all sad’ He spoke with warmth as he brushed the strands of hair out of your eyes, his nose almost brushing yours. 

He could feel your fingers trace the outside of his mid-thigh and his chest tightened from something even more, his eyes drawn to your tear-stained cheeks and ruby-coloured lips. 

Something stirred in you too as anticipation began to build in your stomach, flickering your eyes to his mouth before looking at him again, silently giving him your permission. 

‘I don’t know if this is-’ 

‘Please, Lee Know…it’s okay’

The whininess of your breath sparked a sense of curiosity in his mind as his mouth lightly grazed you, his lips pressing a weary kiss to your mouth. 

A shaky gasp was exchanged as you leaned in, supporting yourself with your hands as you kissed him again, this time it was firm and your lips parted with a loud noise. 

Lee Know’s hands clutched at your waist as he immediately pulled you in for another kiss, this time it was wet and heated, slotting your bottom lip between his mouth. 

It was over before he began as Lee Know pulled away from you breathlessly. 

‘I’m sorry-I shouldn’t have’ He moved to the edge of the couch, shaking his head,

 ‘I’m sorry’. 

Your mind shut off before you could think rationally and you felt yourself scrambling over to Lee Know. 

‘Please…don’t stop’ You pleaded as you wrapped your arms around your neck as you hovered over him, your legs almost straddling him. 

‘I want this’ You panted out, you were already breathless and your heart was racing. 

‘I need this, I need this so much Lee Know…please’. 

He could feel you trembling under his hands as his cheeks became flushed from how you were already breathless from the few kisses exchanged. 

‘I-I don’t want you to regret this’ He responded, his brain already losing any sense of logic as your hands cupped his face, stroking his cheekbones. 

‘I won’t..I just want one time….pleeasse’ Your voice cracked, you could feel your eyes tear up again with how badly you craved more. 

‘I won’t tell anyone, I’ll leave afterwards…you don’t even need to see me again, you can just forget about me’ You fisted your hands in his t-shirt, tears wetting your lashes. 

‘Just this once. I just want this one time’ You words were strangled with tears, attempting to compromise and bargain with your body, your heart. 

Twinges of guilt ran through Lee Know as he stared at your teary, pleading eyes. 

You sounded so needy right now, clingy and desperate. 

And he felt guilty for how turned on he was right now, your touches and words already clouding his mind. 

‘This is what you want?’ His voice was low and his eyes darkened, his fingers rubbing up your sides. 

‘For me to make you feel better?’ 

Your arms tightened around him as you nodded, fingers stroking the nape of his neck. 

‘Yes, I do, yes’ You ended the moment by leaning down to press your mouths together, sighing as Lee Know deepened the kiss, tilting his head to the side. 

He pulled himself up so he was sitting upright, grabbing your legs so you can straddle him, his hands squeezing your arse and causing you to moan into his mouth. 

Lee Know’s thoughts wandered as he kissed you more, your hands were frenzied and your kissing technique was slightly clumsy and off-kiltered. 

He called your name out and stared up at you deeply, tilting his chin up as he halted you still against him. 

‘How long has it been since someone has touched you?’ 

He felt your body stiffen under that question and you looked at him as if you were a deer in the headlights, your face filled with embarrassment. 

‘What do you…what do you mean?’ You answered coyly, though it wasn’t really working. 

‘You know what I mean’ He raised his eyebrow, smirking with his eyes. 

‘How long has it been since you were last with someone?’ 

An exhale of defeat left your body as you responded sheepishly. 

‘I’ve never…’ Your words trailed off as you shook your head. 

‘You’ve never had sex?’ His voice filled with surprise as his eyes widened at your response. 

‘No…I’ve tried, I’ve made out with guys before but nothing has ever happened, I just haven’t felt comfortable enough until now’. 

You could see the hesitation in Lee Know’s eyes at your honesty and you couldn’t, you had already humiliated yourself by practically begging Lee Know to fuck you…why not just throw you entire dignity on the line while you’re at it? 

‘But I want too with you, I really, really want too’ You were too embarrassed to look Lee Know in the eye so you settled for nuzzling your face in the side of his neck, your fingers clutched against his arms. 

‘I’ll try and make you feel good…I promise, I just want to experience this at least once in my life’. 

You cringed internally at how whiny and desperate you sounded in your mind, stooping to this level to be touched and appreciated. 

‘Can you stand up for me?’ You heard him say, feeling your heart drop as you unlaced your arms, reaching back and shakily standing up in the living room. 

You couldn’t look at Lee Know as he stood up after you and you almost braced yourself for the rejection, for him to say that he couldn’t do this, that he didn’t want you anymore. 

You heard him leave your side, his steps leading away from you and you glanced up at Lee Know with a pensive stare when he called your name. 

He tilted his head to the hallway and reached his hand out to you. 

‘The bedroom is this way’. 

…

Your eyes gazed up at the ceiling as you felt Lee Know gently pull your pants down your legs, dropping your ankle at a time and you were left in your bra and panties. 

‘You’re so beautiful’ He spoke softly to you, his fingers gliding along your naval and watching your skin prickle under his touch. 

‘Thanks’ You murmured as you could feel your body wanting to curl around itself, your knees dropping to the side as you stared at him, noticing how toned his bare chest was. 

‘You’re quite handsome yourself’ 

‘Oh, I know,’ Lee Know smirked, leaning down to hover over you as he adjusted your legs, lightly nudging them apart with his knee. 

‘A handsome man for a pretty girl’ 

He pressed his mouth to yours before you could say anything, trailing kisses down towards your ear. 

His lips on your neck had your back arching from his touch, a sigh of pleasure escaping you. 

‘God, you’re so sensitive mmmh? I’ve already got you moaning for me’. 

You were spaced out already and could only respond with a whine, his lips dusting your collarbones and his fingers near the hook of your bra. 

‘Can I take this off?’ He asked, there was an air of caution around you but you nodded, more insecure about your body than anything else. 

Your breasts were flushed and your nipples already hard, he couldn’t help but take one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and moaning as your hands clutched his hair. 

‘I want to cover you with my marks, I want to make you mine’ 

He breathed out before paying attention to your other nipple, his free hand softly kneading your breasts. 

‘Please, do whatever you want’ You breathed as you writhed lightly under his touch, secretly wanting him to bruise you with his kisses so you could remember this when you leave. 

‘Oh, you’re letting me have control?’ Lee Know spoke in-between kisses down your naval, his tone sickly-sweet with a slight condescending tone. 

‘Such a good girl’. 

His hands traced around the seam of your panties, pulling them as they snapped back against your hips, smirking as you jolted. 

‘You’re so cute’ He praised with a low tone, pulling the band of your panties down your hips just an inch, staring at you with a dark, almost primal gaze. 

‘Can I pull these off?’ 

You nodded at Lee Know with hazy eyes, you could feel yourself become more wet at the anticipation of what you were about to experience. 

He slowly pulled the panties away in a teasing fashion, watching them slide down your thighs and removing them one ankle at a time. 

Lee Know’s gaze was intimidating and the thought of having someone so close to your heat caused your legs to snap together, a huff of disappointment filled the room. 

‘Don’t hide from me okay? He reassured you gently as he grabbed your knees and opened your legs. 

He slid your legs back down again as he laid in-between your thighs, his arm strewn over your hips as he anchored you to the bed. 

‘Fuck baby, look at you’ He moaned out in awe as he looked down at your pussy, your sensitive and touch-starved body meant you were dripping wet. 

‘So much for me to taste’ 

‘Awww!’ You moaned out in pleasure as Lee Know spread you out and placed a light kiss to your clit before licking a long stripe from your entrance up to your clit. 

‘Mmm, I knew you would taste so sweet for me’ He murmured against you as he paid all the attention to your clit, drawing circles around your clit before sucking it between his teeth and repeating the motion. 

Your whines and moans filled his bedroom as he ate you out with precision, your thoughts wandered to thinking how was he so good? How many girls had he done this too? 

Lee Know’s groans vibrated against you as you clutched your fingers in his hair, his arm pressing against your stomach which only enhanced the pleasure. 

You reached your peak rather quickly, cumming on his face within minutes of him touching you. 

‘Mmmm, you really needed that didn’t you?’ He pulled his face away, his mouth shiny with your slick and a look of accomplishment on his face. 

‘Please…I just, I want you now’ You pleaded out, reaching your hands out and making ‘grabby’ motions to him. 

‘Not yet, I need to use my fingers, get you extra wet for me, do you think you can handle another one?’ 

You already felt so dazed out and overwhelmed from the stimulation but you weren’t going to say no to more pleasure, you wanted to draw your time with Lee Know out and make it last. 

‘Okay, just one more’. 

‘Good, I’m going to make you feel so good’ He told you as he settled his face back down to your crotch again. 

A yelp left your mouth as you felt his tongue against your clit again, feeling his fingers scissor and spread inside of you, your hips arching against his face as you felt him touch areas you didn’t even know existed. 

‘Lee Know!’ You whined out as you came for the second time moments later, your mind blanking and the world becoming blurry as you came down from your high. 

The world came into focus as you felt Lee Know hover over you, he was now completely nude and you could feel the heaviness of his cock against your entrance. 

‘You’ve had my mouth, are you ready for my cock?’ He gently nudged your legs open and wrapped them around his hips, his hair flopping into his eyes. 

‘Please, I’m ready, please’ You whined out, tears misting your eyes again at how much you wanted him to be inside of you, jutting your hips against him as you clutched at his shoulders. 

‘I need it, I need you, I want this…I NEED this’ Your tone was desperate as you looked at Lee Know with pleading eyes, your brow furrowing as you attempted to pull him against you even more. 

‘Shhh’ He pressed a light kiss to your mouth, trying to reassure you and supported himself on his elbows, 

‘I’m going to give you what you need but you need to breathe, I’m going to go slowly’. 

You stared into Lee Know’s eyes as he first entered you, your hands gripping his biceps and shaky gasps leaving your body as you felt him stretch you. 

‘Fuck’ you murmured into his mouth as he kissed, breaking the kiss as you tilted your neck up and just felt, you just wanted to FEEL this moment of him stretching you. 

‘You’re so tight, you feel so good’ He spoke through clenched teeth, exhaling in relief as he bottomed out. 

‘Stay…just stay inside of me for a second’ Your fingers gripped his shoulders as you looked at him with misty eyes. 

‘I want to feel you, let me feel you for just a moment’. 

Lee Know’s hips stilled inside of you, leaning down and pressing a reassuring kiss to your mouth, one of his hands holding onto your thigh. 

‘Okay’ You tapped his shoulder and nodded at him, reassuring him to move. 

‘I’ll be gentle’ He told you again, slowly pulling his hips, gasping as he pulled out and moaning lightly as he slowly pushed in inside of you, beginning to create a slow pace. 

The moans slowly began to build as Lee Know set the rhythm, the intimacy of the moment building and your excitement growing at having someone touch you this way. 

‘You feel so good, you feel so good on top of me, thank you, thank you’ Your voice hitched and tears began to swell in your eyes again, overcome with gratitude. 

Lee Know’s mind swarmed with confusion and overwhelm as he felt you pulsating around him, your body wrapped around his. 

He didn’t love you but he loved having you underneath him, praising him, how desperate and needy you were and how much you desired to be with him. 

‘You like the way my cock feels inside of you?’ He grunted out, his hips snapping against you just a touch more firmly, groaning at the effect your sounds had on him. 

‘You love the way I feel on top of you?’ He panted out, admiring your fucked-out stare and your hands running up and down his back. 

‘Ahhh-yes! I love it-Mmm!’ Your head tilted back on the pillows, eyes closed and lashes fluttering from how good you felt right now. 

It was more than just having Lee Know fuck you, it hurt but you wanted it too, you wanted to feel the soreness and see the marks to remember this moment. 

And Lee Know’s heart filled with pride at knowing he was the first the fuck you and he wasn’t even that. 

You were exposing every fibre of being to him, he could see your heart in your desperate eyes, you were so quickly willing to give him every part of you. 

He hadn’t experienced this before, he was certain he’d never experience this again. 

‘Be mine’ He panted out as he removed his hand from your thigh, roughly removing your hands from his back and pinning them beside your head, his fingers clenched tight around yours. 

‘I’ll fill you, I’ll fill you every day, I’ll fuck the sadness away, I’ll be your first’. 

His thrusts accelerated and the snap of his hips against yours resounded in the room. 

‘Say it. Say you’ll be mine’ He demanded, his voice lowering and the softness of his stare leaving. 

‘I’m yours, I’m yours Lee Know, all for you’ You whined out, his thrusts bordering that line between pleasure and pain, you were sure your hips would bruise under his touch. 

Lee Know finished inside of you with a cry of your name, his cock spasming inside of you and his face buried in your neck, unclenching your fingers and dropping his hands against your sides. 

You both stayed silent for a few minutes as you both tried to catch your breath, your fingers raking through Lee Know’s sweaty hair and enjoying his warmth inside and on your skin. 

Lee Know ran his arm down your body and shifted to pull his cock out from inside of you, both of you wincing from how sensitive you were. 

‘Are you okay?’ Lee Know’s voice was soft again and his gaze filled with kindness. 

‘Mmm, I’m good.’ 

‘Do you want some water?’ He asked nicely, caring for your well-being. 

You didn’t realise how parched your throat was until now and your voice was all croaky. 

‘That’ll be great, thanks.’ 

Lee Know rolled onto the other side of the bed and you watched as he grabbed his briefs and put them on, standing up with a groan and leaving the room. 

A pang of anxiety was starting to pool in your stomach as you shuffled around looking for your underwear, keeping your thighs close together so his cum didn’t drip out of you. 

You were putting your pants on as Lee Know entered the room, his face looked at you in confusion. 

‘Where are you going?’ He asked, putting the glass of water down on the bedside table. 

‘I’m leaving…it was just one time right?’ You asked wearily. 

He sauntered towards you, tilting your chin up with his thumb so you could look directly into his eyes. 

‘I said I’ll be your first right? Now that you’re mine, I want to be your last’. 

This will be the longest fic in the series and it took me about 4 days to write this because I prefer to write more detail when it comes to angst.

The rest of my fics are going to be light-hearted and fluffy as.

Thank you @creativechaoticloner for the Lee Know banner!

If you would like to be included in the taglist, comment down below. 

Taglist: @destiny-fics @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @cherry-0420 @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @scuzmunkie @mrcarrots @reighlee-greaves @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @kodzukein @whatsk-poppinhomies @yeosdarling @hologramhoneymoon @dilucpegg3r @marievllr-abg @craxy-person @itbtoblikethatsometimes @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @thirstybchanstan @necessiteez @softquokka @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @hijeongguk

[chosos-mascara]

don't leave

𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - two years after your break up and ditched on a night out, you're left alone with levi in a bar.

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - bartender! levi, ex! levi, alcohol use (mild), condom use, make up sex tbh

1.5k words

You were conscious of the fact your ex had worked in this bar. A place all of your friends had loved, and perhaps you had once too - but things were different. Two years on and you couldn't keep feigning excuses not to come on an innocent girls night, begrudgingly accepting the invitation and swallowing your fears. 

"Your friends ditched you?" The bartender's voice pulled you from the slump you'd been within. What was supposed to be a fun night had ended when each of your friends had left with a fling on hip and smile over face. Being the one left behind had soured both your mood and self-image, and with one last drabble of hope, you came to sit on a bar stool and order a drink. 

The place hadn't been too crowded (though, crowded enough for three separate women to find a one-night stand), and on the edge of the bar where you'd perched yourself, you'd been able to speak with the bartender clearly. 

"Don't say it like that," You'd spoken, nail absentmindedly circling the polished bartop. "I'm a big girl." You were sure alcohol had aided with your social skills within this situation, though the liquid courage had faded with time and you were left without the pleasant buzz. 

Glancing up, you met his eye - an awkward parting of lips when recognizing  the face you'd least wanted to see. Levi, the man you'd spent the past two years crying over had been stood so casually behind the bar, striking a conversation with you as if he hadn't broken your heart all that time ago. Perhaps, he'd forgotten, though you could see the hint of concern within such a stoic expression. You knew Levi too well to know he wouldn't go out of his way to help a stranger, or someone he'd disliked. Perhaps his perceptiveness to your situation hadn't been by chance. 

"But to leave a woman alone on a Friday night - a friend... That's not okay." You'd met with his eyes, the black hairs of his curtain bangs swaying over grey as he'd leaned on the countertop beside you. 

"They're having fun, it's fine." You sighed, finally resting head upon hand. "Can I get a rum and coke?" The thought of alcohol hadn't really soothed you, yet you hadn't wanted the small interaction to end. You'd understood he'd probably get back to other customers once he'd realized you were practically sober, and safe. 

"I'm not serving you alcohol if you're alone." He'd spoken while taking out a glass, turning to a tap before pouring clear liquid to the top. "Have some water."  You sighed, about to protest, but when looking back to his stern expression you'd felt the fire die on your tongue. For someone you'd felt so passionate about, you couldn't find it in you to fight. Maybe, you'd just changed over the years. 

"Do you have someone who can take you home?" He'd asked as you'd slowly sipped the drink, a sudden realization you'd been more dehydrated than you'd previously thought.  "Not unless you're coming home with me." The words were supposed to come off as a joke, yet when you watched his expression turn to apprehension, you'd realized they hadn't.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line-" Raising your hands defensively, you'd prepared yourself for the worst.  "How much have you drank tonight?" He'd questioned with a serious expression, and you'd furrowed a brow.  "Uh," Thinking back to the limited time you'd spent with friends, you searched for an answer. "Two singles. And that was almost two hours ago." 

"Okay, then." 

You'd learned Levi's shift had been finishing up when you'd sat alone at the bar, and he'd planned on calling you a taxi, but your proposition would ease his state of mind. Truly, he'd intended on walking you home and leaving, but when you'd pressed your body to his and caressed his hair so gently, he found himself unable to leave. He couldn't see past the memories that had plagued his mind for the past 24 months - especially the ones post-breakup. When he'd had to drop your things back and you'd sobbed through the entire interaction, or when he'd heard you'd gotten a promotion and he'd felt a sudden nausea realizing he hadn't been there to support you. 

Levi was a complex man, you'd understood that. He hadn't been ready to open up with such a heavy past, and the longer he'd allowed you to stay in his life, the closer he'd felt that day would come. Really, leaving was an act of cowardice and something he'd regretted in later years, but at the time he'd been so afraid of love he'd simply decided to run from it. 

Seeing you in the bar had made him realise he hadn't gotten over you. Your smile, laugh and only the way you'd presented yourself had been something he'd fallen in love with. He'd seen each of your friends up and leave, and the sadness etch over your face in such a painful presentation. 

Then, there was the way you'd caressed him. With your fingers through his hair, your lips hovering against his, he'd realized how much he'd missed you. 

He'd closed what had been your own reluctant gap, pressing his mouth against yours and holding each cheek in hand. 

You'd drank him in, a needy locking of lips and swipes of tongue as he'd pushed you through your apartment, bedroom in mind. He'd needed you, longing to feel you against him, your warmth transferring to what he'd felt to be his cold heart. 

His hands had scaled your body, large grasp squeezing thigh, fingers brushing under fabric. When you'd lifted yourself to remove the dress you'd worn, he'd mirrored the action, shirt thrown to floor. He'd pressed his bare skin to yours as he'd continued on your lips, making up for lost time. 

A hand had trailed down between thigh, tips of fingers caressing the thin layer of panties. Levi could feel your wetness through the cotton, but massaged you through the fabric all the same. He'd wanted to work you up, to hear you plead for more friction through your own desperate need for him. 

And finally, when you'd whispered please through shaking breath, he'd pushed the dainty underwear to one side and given you what you'd wanted. The pad of fingers brushed your clit delicately at first, though as ingrained within his memory, Levi had soon changed his pace. The circles had you moaning beneath him, head pressed harshly on pillow and eyes squeezing closed as he'd built you up. 

"Feels good?" The question had been one he'd burned to ask and built himself up to voice, though when you'd nodded profusely while stuttering your reply, he'd been thankful for the plunge. His fingers swirled around you, collecting the arousal slick to skin before pushing his middle finger into you, a test of the waters before adding the ring. You'd writhed beneath him, a whine from lips and buck of hips, and Levi had allowed a small smile to set over his expression before leaning down to kiss you once more. 

"Need you." The words were barely audible though had rang in his ears, a flush of red over the tips. When he removed his fingers you'd sighed, teeth grazing lip as he'd rolled the condom over length and lined himself between your legs. 

The first push in had caused a groan to erupt from the deepest parts of his chest, slipping the entire length to have abdomen to yours, withdrawing with ease before edging himself to base again. You watched his movements through half-lidded eyes, in a lust driven daze but conscious to watch as he'd worked himself inside of you, the sheen of sweat forming over forehead, the way his abs clenched when you'd squeeze around him. Levi would speed up a little before filling you to hilt and holding himself inside you - a temporary cock warming to last only a few seconds. 

Your back arched against the mattress and Levi slipped an arm beneath the gap, bringing your chest to his and placing a kiss over your forehead. His lips grazed you as his hips pressed to yours, a soft grunt voiced against your skin before he slid back. He left open mouthed kisses to trail down the supple flesh, nipping when at your neck. You had allowed quiet moans and whimpers to praise his movements, and Levi had enjoyed every sound. 

"Missed you." His voice was low, whispered delicately into your ear, subtle rocks inside of you as your heart had fluttered at his confession. Had this been true? 

"I missed you too." For a few moments, you'd been left to stare breathlessly into one another's eyes, his arm still snug beneath your torso and holding you close. Levi locked his lips with yours before the languid pace picked up again, your own fingers reaching to entwine with his hair. You held him close, kisses sloppy while he'd worked with you. 

When Levi had allowed himself to fall, a slightly more vocal high than he'd like to admit - he held you close. Groans flowed from his mouth to yours, grip over you tightening as he'd spilled his seed into the latex barrier. When he'd grounded himself, he remained close, forehead against yours with breaths synchronized. 

"Don't leave." The plea had slipped from you before you'd told yourself to refrain from voicing concern, though when he'd laughed, breath fanning over your face, you'd felt at ease.  "Wasn't planning on it." 

[halosdiary]

somnolent | Mermaid!Choso x Fisherman!Reader | 呪術廻戦

a/n: Aww yeah! Plot twist and part 3! This is gonna STIIING.

contains: Choso being Choso, hypnosis, implied murder, obsession

wc: 2k

You both were just staring at each other, in the middle of the town square. People were coming and going. It felt like time stopped between them. He looked at with those beautiful dead brown eyes. You feel like you were in those silly romantic scenes where the main character has a "love at first sight" scene. You snap out of at and looked at him curiously.

"You..I'm sorry, have we met before?"

The man looked a little hurt. He couldn't believe you didn't remember him. All he did was gently stroke your cheek. His hand was cold and wet, he loved the way you felt. But he couldn't blow his cover, for his family's sake, for his sake.

“No…we’ve never met.” He sadly answered you.

He continued to walk away from you. You stood there curiously, you can't shake that feeling of that mysterious man. You didn't see where he went, but it was like he disappeared. Choso looked back at you from the sea, his appearance changing more aquatic like. Unfortunately, this became an annoying routine for the both of them, you bump into each other, but avoid each other like the plague. This separation was driving then man crazy. Every second he was away from you was driving him crazy. He didn't realize it, but he was slowly growing an obsession with you.

Choso wanted to speak to you, but needed a little help. He LOATHED, seeing you just socialize with others like you. Potential dates? Nope, you'd find out they just vanished, but you did find some gifts left behind, for you. Theu were sweet, kind and from the sea?

You couldn't tell, but you felt like you've seen him before. But you don't know  where. You placed a finger on your chin, tapping it like you were thinking. All he could do was look at you.

"You just look..familiar to me." Was all you could muster.

“Maybe we were acquainted in a past life…” He says to you.

Past life? What did he mean by that? This was the only life you knew of, born on land, still living your best life. There was something off, about him. This man was a bit aloof, but you couldn't deny he was really cute.

"Maybe." You answered.

You two parted ways once again, the next time you two would meet. You'd talk would talk to him again. Funny enough, Choso didn't mind this at all. He was just in high spirits he's talking to you. A week passes back and you two meet again. The awkwardness had to end at some point. You slowly turn to leave,but he gently reached out to you.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Choso asks you.

"Yes?" I look at him with curiosity in my eyes.

“Have you ever been in love?”

"...I have." You said honestly, with a bit of a sad smile.

You then look back at him, seeing as his eyes were very curious for me. You try to make the sad feeling go away, but he can feel it.

"Sometimes, it doesn't last forever. But that's just me."

He’s taken aback by your look of melancholy. Choso can’t help but wonder about the reason behind your sorrow.

“You still seem to miss whoever it is you loved.”

"Not really, only the happy memories. Before they became what they became. Something unrecognizable."

I clenched my sweater a bit, looking off into the distance. Those happy memories on replay in my mind, but I soon snap back to reality.

"I'm sorry, I'm guessing you wanna know what falling in love feels like?"

He studies your face, looking for any hint of deceit, but all Choso sees is a somber sincerity. He nods.

“Yes, I want to know what it feels like. Love and emotions in general are foreign concepts to me…so I’m merely curious.”

"That's alright." You sit by a near bench and offer him a seat.

"Falling in love, well? I don't really know how to put it." You say to him with a small laughter.

He sits down next to you, his gaze unwavering, and listening intently to your every word. He remains silent, inviting you to continue.

"I do know. It feels like you're flying. All you can really think about is that person and that person alone." You continued on.

"You feel your heart skip a beat whenever they're near by." You blush a bit.

You always remembered how this feeling was. It felt euphoric, blissful. I unintentionally lie my hand on top of his.

Choso flinches when you place your hand on top of his, the unexpected gesture causing his heart to flutter. For a brief moment, Choso’s eyes widen before he quickly composes himself, his expression returning to the stoic look he always wore. He felt something strange stirring within his chest, a mixture of confusion and surprise. He was trying extremely hard not to focus on your touch.

“And then what happens?”

"Well? That's up for you do decide. If the feelings mutual it's the most wonderful thing in the world. If not? It will hurt, but it won't damage you if you let it."

He slowly exhales, trying to keep his breathing steady as you continue to touch his hand. The flutter in his chest is only growing more intense each passing second, the longer your hand remains on his.

“And that’s it? Those are the only feelings associated with it? Feeling like you’re flying? Your heart skipping a beat?”

You nod at him. You didn't know this pang you were feeling. Again, something about this man was all too familiar. But he was really nice to talk to.

"It's like finding your other half. That other half making you feel whole."

Each of your words seemed to send a jolt through Choso’s body, as though your explanation of love was creating a physical effect on him. He couldn’t deny the strange reaction your words and touch was having on him. He suddenly wanted to remove his hand from yours, but something was stopping him. His eyes slowly traveled down to where your hand was resting on top of his. He tried to ignore how gentle your touch was, and how his own hand seemed to subconsciously curl into yours.

You finally realized you had my hand on top of his. You slowly removed it and apologized to him. This must've made him feel awkward. You didn't mean to make it weird. The absence of your touch seemed to leave him feeling colder than before. He flexed his hand once, allowing his fingers to spread out like yours previously had. He tried to ignore the strange pang in his chest as a result of the loss of your touch, and also the urge he now had to reach out for your hand again. But Choso kept his hand firmly planted on his lap.

“You don’t have to apologize…I didn’t mind it.” Choso stated.

It was silent, his did feel cold, but it also felt comforting. I could feel my heart skipping a beat. I slowly placed my hand on top of his hand once more. The instant your hand made contact with his once more, it took all the strength Choso possessed to suppress a shiver that wanted to run up his spine. He suddenly found it difficult to look at you, and a light pink blush dusted his cheeks. He slowly moved his fingers to intertwine with yours, his heart thudding so hard within his chest, Choso feared it would burst.

You giggled at how flushed he'd become. It really was a big softie, despite his melancholic look.

"Well, look at that. You're blushing." You teased him.

He scowls in embarrassment, trying to ignore the way your teasing made his chest ache. He wanted to pull away, but that would mean having to pull away from your touch again, and even just the thought of it made him hesitate.

“Shut up…I’m not blushing.” He retorted.

"Are you sure about that?" You raised a brow at him, along with giving him a smirk.

He refused to look at your face now that you were giving him that goddamn smile. It sent a jolt straight through him, and it had his stomach doing flip-flops. Choso let out a shaky exhale, attempting again to keep his breathing from becoming uneven.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He lied.

"Y’know despite these little run ins. It's really nice talking to you." I admitted to him.

He finally musters the courage to meet your eyes once more, though his cheeks had now reddened a bit more from your comment. He subconsciously tightened his grip on your hand, the feeling of your skin against his making Choso’s heart flutter. He tried to keep his breathing steady as he gave you a nod in response.

“I’ve enjoyed talking to you, as well.”

You look down at his hand as he holds onto it a bit tightly. You couldn't help but feel my face heat up as well. You could feel your heart flutter rapidly.

"Can you feel it?" You asked him quietly.

He couldn’t help but notice the color rising to your cheeks, finding it strangely satisfying to know he was able to make you blush like he had been. Choso was fully focused on you now, his gaze unwavering, as his thumb gently stroked the back of your hand.

“Feel what?”

"That floating feeling I told you about?" I asked him.

I didn't let go of his hand, gently rubbing my thumb on his hand. I looked in the distance, seeing trees and leaves being blown away by the wind.

Choso subconsciously held his breath as your thumb began stroking his own, his heart threatening to give out at the feeling. The fluttering in his chest had only increased from your touch, and he suddenly felt more than a little lightheaded. Even so, he didn’t pull away. He just allowed himself to feel the way he was feeling, though it was completely foreign to him. Choso swallowed the lump in his throat, his voice coming out a bit shaky.

“Yes…I feel it.”

"That feeling of feeling completely whole?" I continued to ask him.

He could feel the heat on his face burning up, no doubt causing him to look like a complete fool, but he didn’t care. Not when you were sitting here talking like this to him, while your hand was still wrapped up in his. The feeling of your thumb grazing his skin made every inch of him feel like it was on fire, and the way his heart was wildly thumping in his chest was enough to make him dizzy.

“Y-Yes…I feel it. It’s hard to concentrate when you do that, though…”

"Don't overthink it." You gently take his hand and looked into his eyes. For some reason, you couldn't stop smiling at him.

He couldn’t help but shiver from the feeling he got when you held his gaze. He was hyper-aware of every point of contact between the two of you, and the urge to reach up and touch your face was almost too much to bear. His face reddened even more, and he found himself returning your smile with a small but warm one of his own.

“I’m not…overthinking it.” He said in a shaky voice.

"Alright. I don't want you to feel pressured." You stated.

I continued to look in the distance. Still holding his hand, you slowly leaned on his shoulder.

His brain stopped functioning and his heart stuttered when you suddenly rested your head on his shoulder. Choso felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest, and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. But he quickly adjusted, and slowly relaxed the tension in his shoulders. He even let his head rest against yours, feeling a strange sense of serenity wash over his body.

“I feel anything but pressured…” He muttered to you.

This was his dream come true. They're both talking to each other. You're holding his hand, and even accepting his gifts. He looked into the distance as he smiled. Unfortunately all good things turn back, he wanted to love you. He looks into your beautiful eyes. Your beautiful hypnotized eyes.

TAGLIST: @ryomens-vixen @littlemochabunni @littlemochabunni @bleach-your-panties @blkkizzat @buttercupblu

[nychthemeron-rants]

Butch Chilchuck AU Pt2

(Pt. 1)

As I mentioned in my previous post, the only real difference in this AU is that Chilchuck is a butch woman who uses he/him pronouns instead of a man.

No one in the main party knew he was a woman because he couldn’t be bothered to correct their assumptions about his gender when he’s busy trying to be treated as an adult.

He revealed that he was a woman after the bicorn when Marcille accuses him of keeping more secrets. “Its not a secret but I guess I should clarify that I'm a woman since I don't think any of you have caught on yet.” type thing. Cue everyone's shock, especially Marcille.

Since there's been at least one woman in the party who's been uncomfortable with Chilchuck bathing with other women (because they think he’s a man), and he's doesn't give enough of a shit to argue, he’s been bathing with the men instead (because again, he simply doesn’t give a shit)

Senshi thought he was trans (though I'm not sure he knows about trans people as like an actual identity, he just saw him bathing with the men and being treated as male and ran with it. Thats Chil's business after all.)

Laios just thought half-foots had internal “equipment” until it was needed. Wanted to ask about it but even he has the social grace to not question co-workers about that.

Shuro fully suspected Chilchuck was a woman but was too awkward to say anything

Namari knew almost immediately and has been the only one in the party to fully understand whats up with Chilchuck because she was respectful and understanding. (Plus they're drinking buddies)

Falin thought he was a man but also didn't really give a shit when he tried bathing with the other women. It was the marriage seeker who threw a fit before Marcille.

Post reveal, Marcille is just pissed he didn't say anything so she didn't have to go through this adventure up until Izutsumi joined the party feeling like the only woman.

Laios asks if he needs to change anything about how he treats him in the same vein as asking if he should call him Sir when he revealed his age

Senshi is just trying to process how wrong he was about literally all of his assumptions about Chil, as he is a middle aged woman and not a little boy. Feels embarrassed about his misunderstandings, no judgement towards Chil.

Marcille has questions post reveal. She gives me the vibe of a sheltered cis woman who has never questioned what makes her a woman, so when she’s presented with a woman who is more comfortable with mostly masculine presentation, uses “male” pronouns, and has even voluntarily removed his breasts as a woman, she is confused. She initially struggles to understand how a woman can be so against femininity and still be a woman. Chil, while reluctant to answer questions about his personal life, explains that he isn’t against femininity but simply feels more comfortable presenting more masculinely. And that he simply can’t be fucking asked to correct people when they guess wrong. He also ends up helping Marcille understand that gender isn’t expression and connect to her womanhood in a new way that isn’t necessarily linked to her femininity.

Laios does ask why he had facial/ body hair as a tall man and dwarf. Chil gets annoyed about him basically asking about his medical history but answers that he has PCOS and is also menopausal.

This causes Senshi to get annoyed that he didn’t mention this earlier as those conditions can lead to different nutritional needs (I.E. PCOS diet to manage symptoms or extra calcium and vitamins after menopause.)

Senshi and Laios start getting weird around Chil, no longer worrying about him being a kid, and are instead trying to be respectful of the fact he’s a woman (such as being less touchy, trying to give him privacy when changing as if they hadn’t bathed together before, etc.) Chil gets annoyed because while he appreciates the lack of touchiness and the added privacy, he’s pissed that they’re acting different after discovering he’s a woman and overthinking how they interact with him. They also start fucking up his pronouns because they’re ingrained in “women = she/her” mindset and feel like they need to “correct” themselves.

Izutsumi doesn't care and fails to see how Chilchuck being a woman instead of a man changes anything. Chil really really appreciates this.

Chil has to sit them down and explain that LITERALLY NOTHING has changed. They get better after this. (Senshi decides to go ahead with making sure he adjusts Chil’s meals to his needs.)

Post canon, Chil and his family goes to a dinner at the castle, and he shows up in a dress because A.) he wanted to match his wife and B.) kinda wanted to fuck with his friends. He succeeded as everyone was very taken aback by the sight of Chilchuck in a dress and “actually dressed as a woman for once” (a comment that annoys Chil because he is always dressed like a woman because he is always a woman who is dressed.)