#but the latter apparently doesnt fucking exist

[beecreeper]

Me: Hey I'm a fat woman looking for swimwear

Swimsuit makers: Say no more. We have plenty of one pieces and tankinis that will hide your horrible disgusting midriff

Me: Actually I...

Swimsuit makers: you still want your whole pussy out, though, right?

[tomwaterbabies]

this got long lol

so for hugo's bike, with it being steam-powered (look at him and his kingdom, theres no way it isnt), there's likely an alternative to coal he uses. the boiler would use some sort of concoction instead of coal as a heat source (side note, we're working with this with the prerequisite that this is a fantastical world, so the boiler fucking exploding isnt as big of a risk- and eco-friendly and relatively safe alternatives to coal exist)

enter varian and his creation of Flynnolium right. the stuff he made to heat up the boilers under corona which eventually lead it to be the first kingdom with a running hot water system (beating the industrial kingdom, apparently). the stuff is POTENT. so the idea here is, after giving the bike some excitable and genuine praise, for varian to suggest adding it to hugo's steam cycle- to which hugo vehemently refuses. why would he use something that could blow up his bike AND named after flynn rider of all things (its mostly the latter, lets be real)

(btw this is all in hugo's kingdom, i think hugo keeps his bike around that area and never too far outside of it)

so fast forward later. lets say theres a chase happening in his kingdom. lots of fun shots with hugo zipping around expertly through the twisted streets (and even rooftops) of his kingdom. but whatever is chasing them is keeping a steady pace so varian, again and again, is telling hugo we have GOT to use the flynnolium. they argue a little, mostly hugo refusing more and more stubbornly. but finally he literally has to give in bc theyre getting dangerously close to getting caught so after another yell from varian, he just lets out a dramatic groan and leans over and whispers to his bike something like "im sorry" and tells varian to do it. and naturally this makes the bike go fucking fast. it helps them get out of there AND ! it doesnt explode. isnt that fun. after that hugo has to swallow his stubborn pride and admit its a really, really good component for the steam cycle (but, yknow, maybe consider renaming it)

[bandaidcrybaby]

Hi! I don't use this blog!

In fact, it took me 20 minutes to even figure out how to log in! I only remembered it's existance because some bot sent me an ask and it pinged the email I have to use for medical stuff- but i'll give the like. 6 people here, plus anyone who's scrolling through the blog for archival reasons, a quick update on myself and my life, because boy! was i wrong! and being told incorrect information!

So a lot of posts on here are tagged schizophrenia - a diagnosis that several of my doctors very well believed I had. Turns out, if you have been severely and repetitively traumatized for most of your childhood, your brain kinda. puts up walls and is functionally completely disconnected. and when you're a teenager and your brain is supposed to be growing neural connections between itself as it takes on its final leg of the growing journey, if there's Walls in the Way, it results in a degree of weird faux-hallucinations and outrageously unreal beliefs, the latter mostly from you trying to come to a rational conclusion for why you get told weird uncomfortable stories about yourself and are wildly unsure what the fuck they did to you in the hospital to fuck your memory like this. And the answer is nothing, you were in there for 3 days and just cried the whole time, the reason youre missing three weeks is, well. because you have DID. And apparently my therapist had been suspecting this since I was referred to him in the first place, since I was way too lucid and with it to actually be schizophrenic, but my former psych is also his bestie and had told him straight up "oh yeah, I know they were a conflict of interest, but. Its not every day you hear about the kinds of things this kid goes through, find out theyre true, but they only remember some of them at wildly different times, and then get to see DID form before your very eyes." and so on 2/22/22 I was handed my official paperwork because my team was like "i think we need to address some things." and uh. Yeah it came like a wet fish to the face. Turns out Antipsychs were causing half my balance and mood problems AND didnt get rid of the hallucinations because oops, thats not how that kind of 'hallucinating' works! that's the rest of your brain screaming for help! I don't really. publically say much about the kinds of problems my other parts cause for me. its not anyone elses business! you don't need to know! because all of me is Winnie! Regardless of how I choose to spell that or shorten it at any given time! (which is also not a parts thing, thats just a 'my name is hardly as important to me over who i am as a person' thing.) and yeah, I do have to own up to Dumb Shit(tm) the my other parts do regardless of the fact of if I remember doing it or not, because at the end of the day, I, as a singular human being, still did that thing!! I've kinda had to learn what's wrong and right, appropriate and innapropriate, and attone for such. People get very upset with me for referring to my parts as just that-parts. Lots of folk think that I should be calling them "alters", but that simply doesnt fit, for me. It makes the parts of me that are very clearly broken feel more separate, more defined-- which is the exact opposite of what I want. I WANT to be NORMAL. This disease is life ruining. I'm spending most of my adult life being up the shattered pottery that is my childhood- I don't want to be defined as pieces of a broken vase. I am defined as the Vase itself, wether or not you like the kintsugi is a You Problem. this is not your illness; (nor your version of the illness, if you, too, have it, as no two 'vases' break the same.) I personally refuse to not acknowledge the whole vase on any person who does have it. you dont throw away any pieces. that's not how this works. your arent 4 separate people jsut because you dont want to be associated with yourself. you break and mend and break and mend and cry and scream and accept and forgive and hurt and forgive again and become whole. To do anything else rejects your function as exactly what you are- perfectly human, an animal with neatly clipped claws and blunt teeth and marked skin and stands upright on its hind legs, defined only by its ability to create a taxonic system that cleanly defines it and then outwardly reject that very same label.

tumblr has a character limit, part 2 soon.

[warpweighted]

okay my beloved mutual has almost finished the untamed now I get to be specific!!!

the untamed may have needed to do all the flashbacks in one chunk for the sake of a smooth translation from book to screen however I will forever remain attached to the pacing of mdzs for many specific examples the first of which being the even distribution of Lan Sizhui, Certified Good Lad and the second of which being the one that is forever in my heart!!! is when wwx, after multiple books of never so much as alluding to this, devotes ONE SENTENCE of internal monologue to A-Yuan's existence. we get nothing more than (a) wwx had a son and (b) if he was still alive he'd be a teenager by now

which is of course a MASSIVE bombshell to drop before we get the burial mounds/yllz flashback and which has you counting years and looking ahead to the amount of flashback time we havent covered yet (not much, and none that doesnt promise tragedy based on the allusions in the present) and then which has you considering the options for how wwx came to have and lose a child (none of them good), and has you considering the latter especially in the face of the fact that wwx apparently cannot bear to even touch the concept of his child even in the privacy of his own mind (exceptional character moment. also fucking devastating)

and then it might have you reconsidering that wwx died in the "siege of the Burial Mounds," which does make sense just on the bare fact that he is a demonic cultivator and that's where he would be the strongest, but also like. why a siege? -> theoretically he could have used the resentful energy to shore up his defenses and escape -> so why was his last stand a siege specifically? -> why couldnt he have run? -> what was he protecting? -> oh no. oh god

feel like pure shit just want to see lan sizhui again... the untamed pacing structure why must you torment me so

[jigukmins-archive]

.

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

[foulserpent]

adore ur remake of oblivion so i have to ask. how would u remake skyrim.

thats something i havent thought out as extensively so it wont be as good as my oblivion rewrite idea. ill just focus on main questlines rather than all the issues with the world itself

heres a summary bc in spite of what i just said, this is long as fuck:

get rid of or completely rebuild the civil war plot (use new vegas formula a bit here).

create real choices and real consequences for the dragonborn and how their rise to power will influence them.

throw in a little ambiguity and make them have to work for their hero status

rewrite miraak to be a more effective foil to the dragonborn

adjust alduin

adjust the blades

civil war:

i think the biggest thing that needs to just happen IMMEDIaTELY is either just. removing the civil war or rebuilding it from the ground up. if they want to keep the factions the same, literally they should go with a new vegas approach where the conflict is largely between imperialists and fascists, playing the fascist questline is treated as a pretty unquestionably evil option, and theres a separate independent ending. also either way i think the stormcloaks have to be rewritten to be less appealing to white nationalists lol. its okay for Bad People to exist in videogames, but it should not be something irl racists can unite behind.

so if youre going to keep it, add in an independent resolution, maybe even two (a more "no gods no masters" kind, and maybe one where the dragonborn seizes control, which would have to involve the main quest probably)

main quest:

i think the dragonborn should struggle more. it doesnt hve to be like the nerevarine but their “chosen one” status should not just be handed to them. let there be more ambiguity in the prophecy, more question about how predetermined fate is. if theyre really super special, let them earn it.

a major theme should be grappling with power, and questions of the dragonborn's own nature. you should have to make real decisions about the kind of person you want to be and whether you will embrace a powerhungry nature or deny it, and your absorption of souls should have an effect. maybe you dont Need souls to unlock shouts, but it makes the function easier and more powerful or smth. the more souls you absorb, your character should be changed. not enough to ruin the game, but NPCs will be a little scared of you. maybe you even look a little different. you are a mortal body with dozens of godshards inside you and youre extremely powerful, it should be like that.

it would have to be done carefully to not come off as some shitty slapped on moral of "wow youre such a bad person for involuntarily absorbing the souls of dragons who try to kill you", id envision it as like. if your character makes actual powerhungry choices in the plot, its monstrous, if they strive to be a good person but are warped by all the souls, its tragic, and you can find ways to abstain from it entirely. alternate routes to fighting dragons. challenging them to duels etc

on that note, dragons need to be more people and less just monsters. each one of them is a person, and that should be very apparent. you should be able to engage with them in ways other than just killing outside of a few plot relevant ones, and even ones who just fight you should at least like. talk to you.

also alduin needs work, at least have his motivations be more clear. like why exactly is he so determined to enslave mortals rather than fufilling his duties as world eater? also its written really fucking confusingly bc on one hand its like "alduin has abandoned his duties and is just running around being a dragon" but then at a few points its implied that he IS trying to end the kalpa as hes supposed to, which is like...which one is it. im pretty sure its supposed to be the former so lets just pick a narrative and stick with it.

so like honestly i think the basic structure of the main quest can stay, it just needs to Know what its doing rather than just kind of flailing around

dragonborn dlc:

i think it needs work, mostly in the miraak department, since they set him up as like a big intimidating villain but hes kind of nothing . stop trying to make him live up to dagoth ur, and instead really hone in on him being a foil to the dragonborn. he is an example of what the dragonborn could become. from that point, either: make him actually really intimidating, or make the playing field feel very level to play up how this is hermaeus mora ultimately pitting prospective tools against each other.

i would go for the latter approach, though miraak should still have to be a convincing villain. set up miraak as the big bad, but make it become increasingly clear that hes just another chucklefuck ensared in mora's tentacles. which i think they were TRYING to do but werent very successful. like i like that YOU dont get to kill him, mora just decides hes not needed anymore and does it himself. really shows that this is all just kind of a farce. i even like the idea that maybe miraak is like, kind of a hollowed out meatpuppet for mora at that point but idk. 

either way id want the dlc to actually challenge how superspecial and stuff dragonborn are, by making the Legendary Duel Of The First and Last Dragonborn be very clearly be like the equivalent of bugs in a jar being made to fight.

The Blades:

the blades need work, but i actually think their depiction is.. accidentally? good. i think their insistence on killing paarthurnax is good and makes sense, but it needs to be reworked and yeah you do need to be able to talk them out of it or handle it otherwise (even by killing them) bc its such a meaningless quest.

make their motivation more clear like delphine and esbern dont want him dead for just his 10000000 year old war crimes, its really about them being incredibly fucking paranoid individuals and needing the ultimate proof that they can trust you. so beef up the whole blades - you - paarthurnax dynamic. give them all more meaningful and complex interactions. this doesnt mean Make Paarthurnax Bad, but maybe give like more of a legitimate reason for the blades to want him killed (legitimate does not mean Good, like it could be they percieve him as a threat to the empire)

[dirtreally]

kokkuri3replied to your post“every time i publicly complain about an artist that isn’t japanese but...”

No I want to see your long post about this this is interesting

Okay this ended up being a lot because this is something i’ve been thinking about a lot so here’s too many words about me being too mad about anime

I first have to preface this by talking about a very deep uncertainty: i don’t know what i’m talking about but i only know what i’m talking about. everything i am about to say is based on what i feel are fundamental truths. everything i am about to say feels so deeply obvious that half the time i spend thinking about this is spent wondering if i’m just running in circles. But also like: every artist i am about to mention here has some level of large, clout-able, mainstream success but like, 0 substantial critique whatsoever(critique that isn’t just: hey check out this artist cuz i like them/we’re collabing), much less critique that even pokes at any of these deeply obvious truths. So i’m stuck here wondering if i’m a crazy person or if like, all the cool epic kids Whose Art I Personally Like already realise this, but like they comprehend it so thoroughly that such a thing doesn’t even need to be said. To some extent, the latter has to be true, cuz like, the Cool Epic Kids don’t usually fuck with a lot of the art i’m about to shit on, so on some level we must realise these same things about this art. But at the same time that kind of doesnt matter? because both possibilities (either that you already think of this in the same way that i do OR that you have a different understanding about what i’m about to talk about) BOTH have to end with the same conclusion: that by the end of this post, it will be deeply obvious that this has been an exercise in running around in circles. this post is the seinfeld of talking about anime.

okay so i get mad about this specific thing a lot but let’s just look at the specific studio that kicked it off today:

and here’s the thing i got mad at for good measure:

Okay so here’s the background info: local singaporean graffiti studio, they really like anime, and they were the source of that one dumb ass screenshot i posted earlier. and like just look at this

this literally just looks like youtube is recommending me a future bass playlist but in real life. This tells me nothing about anything that has ever mattered. This is a math equation. This is just: kitschy faux-retro aesthetics because they’re popular, rendered in a modern cel-shaded style cuz it’s popular, and with katakana thrown in because if cool anime art wasn’t enough to convince you that these guys were hip then maybe some fucking  A E S T H E T I C S will. Nothing about this communicates to me that anybody who had any part in the creation of this actually wanted to be here. This goes beyond any idea of like, art competency, or even being good at art. if you want you can change the subject matter, make your art more dynamic, sure:

But even this piece, arguably the studiomoonchild work with the most energy to it, feels completely lifeless. Like yeah, i could say that it’s cuz all of their anime girls have like those weird dead eyes but that’s almost certainly a copout: the simple truth is that this thing and the earlier one with the robot are the exact same piece of art. they are both interchangeable, they both tell me the exact same nothing.

If you like go through all of their work it’s basically the exact same thing through where like everything they do has this exact feeling of “nobody really had to be here”. even the way this art is produced reflects this because studiomoonchild and their contemporaries are all part of the same sycopanthic surge in the popularity of “”legal graffiti”” in singapore that’s all just this problem repeated for infinity. nobody doing legal graffiti in singapore actually really cares. there is so much art that is absolutely nothing other than like, 1. YO IS THIS HIP? 2. YO DOES THIS TOE THE LINE OF BEING EDGY? 3. YO IS THIS IMMEDIATELY SAFE ENOUGH TO NOT ACTUALLY CHALLENGE OR COMMUNICATE ANYTHING? all of this is literally just stock music but with extra steps i don’t want anybody to tell me how much they fucking hate kevin macleod ukeleles while liking this its all the same bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But here’s the kicker: studiomoonchild actually has art that pulls away from this i mean look at this!!

it’s definitely still pulling on that same vein of like, youtubebait anime art, but there’s an undeniable sense of PRESENCE that doesn’t exist in any of their other work. It feels like the people who drew this actually WANTED to draw this, and it’s vibrant and fluid in a way that no amount of weird katakana placement and anime lo fi hip hop girl playlist thumbnail type art can convey. AND LIKE even then, it doesn’t shake off the gender thing, where in the world of studiomoonchild, the female subjects can only ever be pretty and silent and cool or cute while the dudes are actually allowed to have flesh in their face, to have big defined noses and cheekbones and laugh lines, and perhaps most importantly, to transcend the flesh by being a cool robot that gets to shoot all the laser beams and like how apparently this is their entire conception of anime. OH WELL we can’t hit it out of the park every time i guess.

CONCLUSION

conventional thinking about art and the way it exists in society suggests that it is better, perhaps even more virtuous, to be technically skilled but stylistically conventional than it is to be unique but unrefined. think about every single “ohhhh i could draw that though???” type comment ever.  Like, there’s this buzzfeed draw-off video ive posted about before where hae-joon and jonni phillips redraw superman

the comments are basically what you expect: 

this is just two of them but like its sooooo much worse literally every single top comment is some version of shitting on jonni but like heres the thing; all of these bitches will, without a shadow of a doubt, remember jonni’s superman before hae-joons’. A single look at jonni’s superman already communicates so much. we understand that it’s not supposed to be a literal 1:1 depiction of the truth of superman as he appears in the cartoons or comics or movies but rather a rendering of her own emotional truth on the subject of superman: he’s literally just kinda whatever!!! he’s just a strong cool man who wins fights epicly and has all the powers and loves his wife and has Logo That Makes Grown Men Spend 27 Dollars On Mug. Jonni understands this and is able to use this to her advantage, creating this single drawing tgat is apathetic, disdainful, and playful all at once. 

You kind of can say the same thing about hae-joon’s art, but you kinda can’t? There’s the same core idea here: that hae-joon also has no strong feelings on superman apart from “i know of him, and i know you know of him”. But the thing is that like: he knows it, but he doesn’t Know it. hae-joon cannot take this fundamental, deeply funny, truth, that one of the biggest fictional characters ever mainly exists as the emotional, narrative, and aesthetic equivalent of white bread, and bring it to its logical conclusion.

[mellz117]

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

[rarebuzzships]

drewgene headcanon

submitted by @thehumblehumdrum

O K A Y so i have this headcanon i just made up about hours ago and revolves much around andrew/eugene and it all starts with the “dudes complimenting each other” video in which they’re featured in and i could see a bit of the tension between them. and that inspired me to make this MESS of an au headcanon.

heads up, just a warning for those reading – the story gets pretty steamy and explicit at some point. other than that, it’s crazy!

without further ado, here’s the whole story:

• this one is mostly from andrew’s pov • this is set in early 2015 when the video came out so a few days after the shoot for that, andrew and eugene find themselves at a house party one of their coworkers are holding (lets say quinta’s) • at this time, andrew has been thinking about the compliments he had received from eugene the other day for a while, to a point when he just like… has so many questions. the questions may vary from why was he that tense? to stuff like he knows most things about me but does he have something that i’m not supposed to know about? that kind of stuff • also, compliments in general. other than eugene being that tense, andrew didnt give too much compliments to him. was he a bit nervous? too shy? etc etc

(the rest is under a cut cause it’s pretty long)

• andrew was eager to know more about eugene so…. he decides he talk to him. eugene was probably already done chatting with some of the female coworkers about work and things so andrew gets the chance to do that step • they begin chatting with each other about simple things. and then, andrew went straight to the point - he asks eugene how it felt to tell compliments • since the alcohol may have started to seep into both of their systems, eugene becomes… more honest… like he admits he just doesnt like being given compliments and the fact that he can be uncomfortable with that. it might have personal factors but yeah i hope you get the point • and then andrew becomes also as vulnerable as eugene when it comes to compliments of course they talk about compliments and just went to a deeper conversation about it. • what happens is that they end up talking for more than an hour now (?) (wow idk why time flies) and by those times andrew gets a bit of an attraction towards him. and, because they’re slowly getting drunk at this point, while eugene is still talking, andrew makes a move that he instantly regrets fast enough. andrew leans in to kiss eugene for a short moment until regret hits our cryptid blonde boy like a TRUCK

• immediately, things start to become awkward between andrew and eugene. just after a sudden kiss, andrew dismisses that it happened and then he said goodbye to eugene without any proper explanation or context. andrew left the party early and shortly after, he tries his very best to avoid eugene at work or even at least everywhere outside work. • andrew somehow just doesnt completely ignore eugene altogether. because sometimes andrew tells himself to stop panicking over something that unimportant (like a kiss after a long conversation about compliments), and, when he abides this promise to himself miraculously, eugene, like, appears out of fucking nowhere, to ask him about paperwork. andrew wants to die a little inside knowing this mysterious man can not be avoided. • this little game that andrew wished never happened lasts for an amount of around 6 or 7 months since that kiss. then, one day, andrew looks back and thinks through, and decides to stop acting such a pussy about this situation and be brave enough to confront eugene. • so, one day at work, during lunchtime he asks eugene if he’d like see each other just to hang out in a cool bar next friday. not exactly a date but… a hang out. andrew may bring his friends over, eugene may bring his own as well. and eugene’s reaction was like, casual. he just was okay with it, nothing too serious about it • so to andrew, they finally agreed to hash whatever this is out. but he’s a littleeeee bit nervous of the outcome

• okay next thing. a week has passed since they agreed, and andrew walks into the bar to see his friend adam and a new buzfeed intern (probably niki, or annie) waiting for him. • he tries to look around for eugene, only to find nothing except some other familiar faces he had seen from work. like thespi, andrew’s longtime friend from college (and not his actual partner in this au, im so sorry you’ve been pulled into this), chatting with safiya and freddie about a new set of video ideas probably. she waves at him and smiles, he waves back. other than that, nothing else. for now though • andrew finally reaches to his friends who have been staying at a booth for a while now. eventually eugene comes in, partly to andrew’s relief. and also to andrew’s surprise, because eugene somehow just showed up with no one else beside him… i guess thats how it is then huh • eugene joins them and after a few more drinks, both he and andrew feel more loose from the stress of work and of life, and he gets to share that too with adam and the other intern friend. • like eugene, who tends to drink more than any other person in any room, andrew is about 7 drinks in. he’s also as equally tolerant to alcohol as eugene too so that’s neat. somehow the amount of alcohol leaves adam and the intern friend feeling a bit worried • but whatever, eventually the tightening tension between andrew and eugene have loosened up now so thats good. buuuut andrew doesnt want to end up becoming too comfortable around him and too drunk to be shitfaced to be aware of his self. • so he tries to think deeper and eventually asks eugene to go outside for some fresh air. the latter agreed. so they’re outside now. • at this time, andrew takes his time to think of anything sensible to say, especially about that kiss and the compliments and shit. he is surprised that as andrew was planning to open his mouth to talk, eugene steals his plan instead and goes to tell him that… he admitted he really was tense when he complimented andrew like months ago. • so eugene basically goes on to admit that he was trying his best to hide some other certain topics from that last conversation that he thought might make andrew uncomfortable • andrew leaves himself more surprised when eugene, a good minute later, asks immediately about the kiss. like… just casually “about that kiss…. i didnt… expect that from you. at all.” • now both of them seem prepared to finally (FINALLY) go to the topic and… in the end, there is a certain amount of relief and clarity between eugene and andrew. they’re glad (actually andrew’s the most glad) that they have patched up together and gained a better understanding from that issue. andrew is glad he’s gotten a satisfying response from eugene, that it’s “no hard feelings” like eugene just understands him well, andrew thought.

• after a brief moment of relief shared between the two of them and a few hearty smiles and laughs, andrew, ready to shoot for the next topic, comfortably and confidently compliments eugene’s chameleon hair (he deserves better compliments other than ‘great posture’); to his appreciation, eugene follows suit. • when eugene compliments anything about andrew this time around, he seems… more relaxed and confident in himself than he was the day of thr shoot. there is a little change that would probably affect him for the rest of his life, but of course in a good way. • then it’s all smiles in the end.

• like i said, andrew was glad he finally got to talk through properly with eugene and then get a sense of relief after months of tension. • but there is a catch! • somehow, andrew has no fucking clue whatsoever how he managed to end up in a restroom stall, leaning against the partition wall from the overriding pleasure he’s receiving right now, his dick in eugene’s mouth. • there must be an explanation how they have ended up here. maybe the alcohol finally got the best of them? maybe them becoming as more laxed than they both were the entire time? maybe appreciating compliments better than early that year, to a point where both of them want to explore a bit further? • there are so many questions, but it seems that they don’t give a single shit tonight. andrew may probably think that this could be a bad idea that could risk their friendship, and eugene looks like he shares the same sentiment as well, but now apparently they’re liking how all this is leading to. now andrew just hopes they stay good friends and co-workers in the end after they sleep at eugene’s place. • (they eventually stay good friends after a night of oddly wild sex and some very pleasing compliments. and they stay like that months after. and they still stay like that when they get themselves their big breaks – andrew with the success of steven’s show “worth it” in which he eventually becomes more active in its production, and eugene with his best friends, the tryguys, who are taking small steps in starting their own company independent from buzfeed.) • (they still remain friends in the end, despite the incoming pressures of work and social media fame. and it’s all good)

• aaand a whine escapes from andrew’s lips the moment he’s almost ALMOST close to the edge, when he doesn’t feel the tongue anywhere around his hard-on. then, eugene catches his breath and says, looking more flushed than he was, “we should continue somewhere else. don’t want anyone else to hear us… not even our work friends.” • andrew agrees. “yeah,” he whispers. • then, always the sneaky person he is, eugene woos him with a little tease here and there. and worse, he isnt even touching andrew now; instead, their faces are at their closest, distance is just non-existent. • andrew needs him tonight. he needs to touch eugene and hear him moan in pleasure. he just craves more than compliments at this point. he craves total attention. see the other guy fall apart in the same way he did to andrew. • and, a smirk appears on andrew’s face. if eugene wants to play fire, then he’s definitely game. so he dries off and zips his pants again, and he and eugene are leaving the restroom satisfied, out of the bar, and into eugene’s place…. • and they spotted another familiar face from work. just staring at them as if he just had a weird fucking experience. • oh • andrew and eugene quickly (and tries to casually) act on that reaction. then eugene just smiles a smoldering smile (of course one of them has to do that what the shit) and greets “hey. have a great night” to the shellshocked man. • then andrew with “i’m so sorry you had to hear that,” then they leave quickly to bid andrew’s friends and other familiar faces goodbye.

• and the wide-eyed man, who may have just heard two co-workers enjoying each other with a blowjob and saw them leave, reconsiders his life choices at this point.

• that wide-eyed man… that was ryan.

+ bonus: ▪ ryan, after what felt like fucking forever, eventually decides to call it a night early on. ▪ so he bids the rest of “the test friends” (shane, daysha, and maycie are at a table a few blocks away from the booth where eugene and andrew with his friends used to occupy earlier. jen couldn’t make it with them that night.) farewell for the night. one of ryan’s companions, daysha, saw something odd written all over his face… did he see/hear something else he wasnt supposed to see/hear? ▪ so daysha took notice and asks ryan if he’s okay or if something happened in the restroom. to which ryan replied in his vaguest of expressions. (yep, he definitely witnessed too much.) ▪ he just has to leave the bar because of what happened back in the restroom. he profusely apologizes to his friends about leaving this early, that he could make that up with something (a new test friends video idea maybe?) ▪ moments after ryan’s sudden leave, the rest of the friends share some vague looks. eventually one of them decides to change the topic so the atmosphere doesn’t get more weird. ▪ maycie brings up a conversation, a topic that revolves around some juicy office rumour almost half of the buzzfeed l.a. office knows about. ▪ she basically introduces that rumour to shane and daysha, who until this point had not been aware of that. then, maycie moves further to the real deal, the hot topic: something that has to do between the “cryptid” and the “hot guy.” ▪ shane and daysha take their own time to digest what maycie’s been talking about… then one of them finally figures out. ▪ shane, immediately recalling almost everything as maycie had recently mentioned, somehow in his mind plots some of those – cryptid and hot guy, awkward tension, stuff like that – with ryan’s scared expression from the restroom… and. ▪ oh ▪ shane’s face starts to mimic the same way as ryan’s, only leaving the girls with more questions and… oh. OH. ▪ i guess they somehow figured out now the outcome.

god… that took me an entire night to make that up

well, hope you enjoyed! (hopefully no one else from buzzfeed or anyone involved sees this pleaSe)

[ajaegerpilot]

idk. its been on my mind lately wrt radfe/minism assigning moral value to certain .. demographics over others. like i get that there’s some type of appeal there. to be a lesbian, one of the most oppressed groups, and then to assign moral value to your oppression. but i mean, it doesn’t actually track. we’re all just humans. for good and ill. the way the world’s been split up, it could’ve split up differently and then we’d be shitty to each other in different ways. as it is, the dice fell where they lay and i’m not going to for example champion against misa/ndry where it doesnt exist. but saying that men are inherently oppressive.. they don’t have some type of gene that makes them hurt women. or even some unbreakable socialization. some assholes historically brute-forced or slowly boiled the frog to the point where equality was no longer an option socially or economically. there’s nothing genetically unique to white ppl that had us ripping apart the world. conversely there’s nothing about women or poc that invites oppression onto them. oppression isn’t logical.. (in the sense that you could justify oppression of a group, though oppressors try and indeed some members of oppressed groups eg te/rfs agree with them) beyond the logic of abuse and the benefits oppressors reap in a social system that allows them to and does not punish them for harming their victims.

idk. my - way of relating to this world has i think been guided by my desire to reduce pain. that’s why i’m confident in interacting with ppl i disagree with. if their way turns out to reduce pain then i’ll change my mind, as i’ve done in the past. but idk. its wild to me that some people can make some leaps of logic that i just can’t see how to bridge. like i was talking to some white supremacist on fucking runescape the other night (Dont ask how ThIs Shit got started) and like idk. that guy is kind of - okay like first of all. you know what fuck it. i know his game. his game is that he’s accepted a hierarchy of races at which he’s coincidentally at the top, and thus he views equality of other races as a threat to his position (and he’s correct!). and he views degeneracy (lgbt-ness) and probably women’s rights as a threat to his hierarchical position in patriarchal heterosexuality (and he’s correct!) he thinks that people would be happier and in less pain if europe was some white heaven and all the degenerates and poc were excluded, but that has nothing to do with how poc/degenerates are fairing, because he doesnt value them as full human like himself. so for him, everyone that matters is taken care of and pain has been reduced/eliminated (i mean, white supremacy is not sustainable like - it wouldn’t work, there is no white supremacist utopia because its an inherently violent ideology that requires subjugation of SOMEBODY to function it will never stop). but for me, everyone matters, unless they’re causing others pain.

ugh this is not cohesive!! but i lit a fire under my ass because i understand this dude again. but anyway, it’s frustrating because you really cannot convince people of universal humanity when their ideology and self-worth is hinged on there being hierarchies. transphobic radfeminism or like similar types of movements (i wont get into them because i’d be sticking my ass out of my lane) of people assigning hierarchical worth to their own oppression are different but similar. for one, the end result of transphobic radfeminism is, if you follow the logic - the assignment of babies as male or female, and the elimination of all males. like - there is the understanding that men are biologically predisposed to oppressing ‘females’, and that ‘females’ are inherently more worthy because they are biological martyrs in that sense, they are not tainted by a genetic compulsion or ability to oppress (incorrect of course for a number of reasons). so the only solution is to avoid relationships with ‘males’ and if you do they will without fail mistreat you and you’ve brought on your own suffering (by being a bi or straight woman). like i literally saw some terf say ‘welp it sucks that straight women are straight lmao lets get them robot boyfriends’ like WHAT?? there’s this huge disconnect to humanity and reality there, and a huge disconnect from empathy to vast swathes of the human population. it approaches things this bizarre sort of value judgement based on happenstance of birth (birthright, so to speak) from a different angle than ur average runescape white supremacist, but i think why there are parallels b/w te/rfs and white supremacists is because they both draw the same conclusion. like te/rfs say that men are subhuman because they biologically oppress women (and i’d agree within the sense that ppl who oppress others are less humane, except that te/rfs link it to something inescapable), white supremacists will say that poc/degenerates/women are less human because again - something apparently inescapable. the results of either of these ideologies is either genocide or seperatism, the former of which is horrifying and the latter of which is not actually feasible (at least without violence). it is the attempt of a scoundrel to comfort themselves by having pride in something they had no say in rather than their actions.

liike we have to understand that humans are like all CAPABLE of good shit, AND bad shit, and the fact that men (for example) can choose to fight for equality with women and don’t is what makes them uniquely bad. this is also is the only thing that brings hope. like, there’s also the fact that it is real. we are all working with humanity here. its just very hard to argue with people i think if they can’t agree with that premise. am i unique here? did my parents do me wrong by raising me to believe in my inherent humanity and the inherent humanity of others? i don’t think this was very coherent... but basically there is no value or worth that is granted to an individual being because they are a certain race or gender or sexuality. we are all the same damn dirty human worldwide, contending with lines that were drawn to subjugate some to raise up a few. but these lines were drawn, they are artificial. time to rip it down ykwim ;3c

[jukaizek]

TL;DR just found out about my neptune actually being in the 1st house instead of the 12th (kinda still a noob with this natal shit so i probably dk what im talking about😂)

//sorry for long post dump but idk how tf to cut this shit short in mobile and already ran out of pages in my journal ages ago so yay for public rambling. barely got any sleep so already forgot 90% of what i said-- can you spell regret//

for the longest time i was attached to the idea of having it in the 12th house because i wanted it to make sense. and its kinda ironic cause the more i read about the qualities of a 1st house neptunian, the more i realized why i even wanted my illusion to be part of my identity so badly-- i had no "real" identity to cling on to. just constantly lost. lost to who i really am as person. so much so that i unconsciously started chasing whatever image everyone else has been trying to project onto me. tried to be the ideal person they wanted to me to be, or thought i was. it was pretty easy since apparently 1st house nepts are impressionable and tend to absorb emotional tones of their surroundings. even their tastes and views get warped into the people they surrounded themselves the most with.

when i look at my chart and see the number, read about it countless of times, i didnt get any of my answers. i thought lucid dreaming 24/7 and having vivid dreams in general checked it off as accurate but i never really understood the rest of the stuff the descriptions had as well. i was unsure about all the "spiritual" bs and "being so out of touch with reality cause ive transcended this plane of existence" just never stuck to me. they never sounded right, as much as i wanted to have all of those qualities. i started having dreams where i feel like i was being warned about something to come-- and the dreams about my brother's accident was the final push that tipped me further into believing the "psychic" shit of that placement lmao. still, i wanna believe some part of that applies.

im trying to figure out how tf this confusion even happened in the first place. i used a bunch of birth chart calculators and half would say 1st house while the other the 12th. and the latter just happened to be the first version i recorded when i started out delving deeper into my natal chart.

now ive got mixed feelings about it. bummed cause ive spent so much time taking that shit too seriously that ive idealized the placement too much-- relying on it to manifest itself perfectly somehow instead of figuring it out internally. but happy that i learned more. and should probably stop doing the rest to my other placements from here on.

a lot of things make more sense to me now. like how both my saturn in 3rd and jupiter in 3rd gives me deep-rooted issues when it comes to communication/expressing my thoughts fluently. i was always so frustrated at how i couldnt get the exact shit i had on my mind out. insecure and jealous of other piscean mercury natives cause i couldnt apply the same placement in my chart as well as i thought i should have been able to. my lack of confidence turning a conversation i shouldve been naturally so passionate about to laconic ass interactions. its just so unnecessary. like why am i even fucking anxious about butchering my own self expression in the first place. coming out so off base that others would get the wrong idea? or maybe worse case, id offend people when i didnt mean to. so afraid of how it will come out that i cant even form a cohesive sentence in person. probably why it's so easy for neptune in the 1st people to be molded into other people's ideal personas in the first place. it feels safer to just submit-- driving my scorpio mars INSANE cause it just gives people the impression that "not having opinions" = idgaf about how they treat me. which is why im thankful for my aries sun (also in the 3rd--100%talkative child in a nut)to at least make up for that pussy mentality and just punch myself inside into submission until i forget my fears and just wallow in regret later 😂. gotta love that ego-seesaw stg

also explains why i seem to attract different types people like magnets for only so long until they finally realize how far off their first impression of me really was. or they're just straight up as confused as i am lmao. aqua dom/ uranus in the 1st / venus gemini doesnt help either cause of course my fickle ass cant resist switching shells and faces real quick or else i die out of boredom.

and neptune isnt even a major planet so idk why im getting so worked up about anything😂

anyways, gonna go back to reading about it some more cause i still cant believe my lazy ass somehow didnt figure to check it out more closely even when i first started having doubts about that placement years ago.

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

(St:discovery spoilers)

Not to like... Trigger anyone by asking you to think of this....so by all means pass on by.. if you are having a good or bad day and dont want to think some bad thoughts maybe you shouldnt read this. And i’m only @ ing a few people because i know they would have a good opinion IF they are in the mood to share. if you dont want to then dont. I dont want to make you feel bad.

but like... at Discount Tires the tv was showing Horns (Daniel Radcliffe....horns, ect) and it was near the end and i had to purposefully avoid watching because of this one moment i hated.

It reminded of what happened with Star Trek Discovery. I’m glad i didnt watch it but apparently in their mid season premier they violently murdered the black gay doctor. and like ...most star trek time shenanigans usually happen in the same episode. IDK if there was a cut away or if they violently murdered him on screen (based on the show i’d guess the latter)

Naturally of course, based on an article covering interviews with the director and actors, apparently they think this isnt ‘bury your gays” because there was a reason for it?  “He wasnt murdered because he was gay he was murdered because he was the smartest one on the ship and figured something out”

Oh shit well i guess us never ever in any tv show not explicitely made by us, being able to have a happy ending is ok so long as there is a Good reason for it.

Like there was a reason for WIllow’s love to be killed, there are reasons everywhere. Thats never been the issue.

and anyways, I guess i’m pissed because.....these fuckos almost got me. They had me doubting myself, gaslighting me into thinking it was acceptable. even got the actors who played the gay characters to support it to the point i thought i was wrong.

Then i see this Horns and i remember. I remember the part when daniel’s character is getting harrassed. because everyone thinks he murdered his girlfriend and the horns is bringing out peoples deepest desires. and for some police officers in his small town that includes violently taking out murderers. but the two of them get distracted when one says he’s going to jack off later thinking about the other  strangling daniel’s character. And this leads to him getting away while they make out.

And i was at first a bit pleased. Yea there was some heavy sin imagery in this movie but it was deconstructing that. the horns didnt MAKE people sin it just brought out their truth and amplified it a bit. So while it was an awkward way to come about i thought that this happy accident might lead to in the background of this story of two closeted men finding each other.

and then it gets to the climax of the story and the officer feels bad for how he’s acted and is in on the truth, that it was Daniel’s FRIEND who killed her and he’s going to help him take him out. and in the ensuing fight in the forest a struggle happens and the officer’s shotgun is aimed at his head and his entire face is blown off.

Just....abrubtly ...on screen...I LITERALLY see a closeted man who through magical help came out to himself a day or two before literally have his existence bloodily snuffed out, having only a half second to comprehend the gun in his face before his body is turned into meat and he’s doomed to a closed casket funeral because he literally doesnt have a head anymore. not because its decapitated but because its in a thousand little bloody chunky brainy boney pieces all over the forest.

And thats why i’m renewed in my anger. These FUCKING neo liberal assholes who think they are SO progressive like creators like True Blood and American Horror story. thinking NOT “lets have a diverse liberal cast” but instead “Hey you know how fucked up gays are? how about we CELEBRATE how fucked up they are by having some of our characters be these fucking QU*ers. We’ll get such good ratings due to our Progressive points and beign Edgy cus of our Gays and the only thing that will make our show edgier? lots of death. Death and gays. The only thing better is Death, gays, and black people. Yep Killing people. violent sex murders against women, violently killing our MULTIPLE black cast and having our sweet summer child gays violently killed despite how much of a precious bean they are”

These fuckos got me and others like me doubting myself. “well maybe it isnt that bad” but I REMEMBER how i felt. I remember how happy i was to think that even as a non main character that there was a gay man who was going to be happy cus he had another gay man to be with and then his BRAINS WERE SPATTERED ALL OVER THE FOREST!

And I’m SO glad now i didnt watch that episode. I can just imagine my apprehension at the suspicioun. my concern as the doctor sees something is weird. The realization that  the Arab trauma survivor Is indeed a klingon sleeper agent. The anxiety i get when he confronts him about it instead of going immediately to the captain. The fear as he doesnt realize how much danger he’s in and the Revulsion and horror as i literally watch a gay mans life snuffed out with a 1 second action  by another man

Anyways so I was just wondering if anyone else would be interested in telling about how they got suckered in and utterly betrayed by fucking faking progressive show makers who not only queerbait but seem to have no idea how harmful, prevelant and universal Bury Your Gays, is.

@pastaspoon @fitzefitcher @nintendette

[dinoblip]

i found guardians of the galaxy vol 2 a bit shit

I saw it a little less than a week ago and I’m still disappointed.

I prefer to think of this post more of an “analysis” than a rant but itll probably be more the latter.

also these are all just opinions, if you liked it thats fine.

(spoilers ahead)

1. the writing

i mean i wasnt expecting it to be a masterpiece, hardly any sequels are, but the humour of the first film was 100% tied to the clever screen writing. 

and here it felt like the writer was hamfistedly trying SO GODDAMN HARD to be funny and it never really seemed to land except in 1 or 2 scenes (the groot button scene and the scene where groot is explaining why he doesnt like hats).

This might just be my dumb sense of humour here, i know plenty of people who did find it funny but so many lines just left me cold or rolling my eyes.

An example is this fruit gag and the set-up is okay. 

One of the first things nebula says in the film that she wants a piece of fruit which she is then denied because it isn’t ripe yet. This is fine, its humorous because of the casual tone of the question and the somewhat overly stern and ridiculous answer, the outright denial perhaps being because gamora doesnt want to be charitable to her sister at all. It works. 

Then it gets reestablished: theyre now fighting people and the fruit is on the ground in the fray and nebula is still a prisoner. Now she asks Drax for the fruit and Drax yells over his gun “no its still not ripe”. This doesnt work quite as well cause it doesnt make quite as much logical sense and its basically the same conversation as before. So its not funny here.

Then the pay-off doesnt work because its too hamfisted. There is a reveal that nebula has managed to escape and now has a gun in one hand and the fruit in the other. That alone would have been a good pay-off because theres a sense of misplaced priorities, maybe simply because she kept getting denied it she went out of her way to bring it with her. I chuckled at that.

But then the script makes her triumphantly take a bite out of it, spit it out dramatically as if its disgusting and then explain “it wasnt ripe”. And they film it as if thats the punchline. It was too hammy to be funny, it seemed like such a waste of an opportunity. 

Like they could have made it more understated like they could have stretched it out a little. Here’s an idea for what they could have done instead. Shes quite a proud character so her taking a bite in triumph fits her character fine but once she takes a bite, she smiles for a bit that sorta slowly turns into a bit of a grimace but continues chewing determinedly, her face a picture of disgust. that could be the end of the scene or it could continue by then having a ravager break the silence to ask if shes alright. she sorta manages to swallow it down but when she next talks her voice could be a bit claggy and constantly sounding like shes on the verge of coughing which would undermine her authority over the situation. 

This is one of the few times they attempt a recurring joke and it doesnt work at all (off the top of my head i cant even remember one other one and the first film had so many). Other examples of failed jokes include pretty much all lines said by Drax who only seems to laugh manically and insult Mantis and nothing else including one which doesnt even work within his character (this one: mantis is watching all the raider funeral fireworks and she says that theyre beautiful and drax is staring at her and says “yes, beautiful” pause “on the inside” ITS ESTABLISHED OVER AND OVER THAT HE IS LITERAL MINDED SO WHY IS HE SAYING THAT). And I would also say that alot of the jokes with Groot aren’t very good either and neither is his character in this film but dont worry I’m gonna justify that in a second. I plan on giving him an entire fucking section.

So not only did the jokes not work but even the normal conversations felt stilted. And so often it almost looked like the actors werent sure of how they were meant to say lines in a way that would sound natural. Peter Quill wasn’t sounding like Peter Quill all of a sudden, Gamora didnt feel like Gamora.

It made for a confusing experience. I kept having to question myself for not laughing at a joke or feeling emotionally invested in what was happening. i ended up asking myself alot “this is a guardians of the galaxy film, why arent i having fun?”

2. the story

I freaking loved where they went with the character development of yandu and nebula (she and gamora are my favs) but it made me realise how mindless the main story is. The only thing i found exciting about the main storyline was yandu’s backstory and then his redemption AND THEN THEY KILLED HIM. SO WHATEVER. NEVERMIND. Just so they could have a tearjerker ending.

anyway back on track, the main storyline, starlord’s was pretty standard and you could see the fact that starlord’s dad is evil from the beginning, mainly cause he’s shown to be too cool and flawless at first which is a big warning sign. It was more just boring than anything else. Though the cg for Ego rematerialising in really disgusting ways was amazing. But thats hardly a substitute really.

It’s just: chris pratt goes to find father -> turns out his dads a planet therefore chris pratt is Special™ -> oh no his dads bad what a shocker and he’s wanting galactic domination -> now they gotta fight and they do.

Everything else (which is alot by the way, there is so much “everything else”) is basically unrelated except yandu’s story but even then he has this mutiny happening on his ship for a bunch of the film which has nothing to do with most things. And then after a bloodbath he ends up flying his own ship again so none of that mattered and any consequences of killing an entire crew (that you would guess would be around for some reason like, i don’t know, maintaining the ship so it can fly places) simply do not exist. And then after that up til the Big Fight, yandu, yandu’s right-hand man (cant remember his name) and rocket scream into the camera for a while while they warp through apparently too many warp points or something. cause it seems like they had to fill up 3 minutes.

Meanwhile Chris Pratt and gamora have romantic tension or something while he tries to come onto her and stuff and she isn’t into it and then her development is her coming round to him? She doesnt have any other story except being attacked by nebula sometimes and not doing anything in the Big Fight for some reason????? She and nebula fall off a ledge which they cling to for most of the fight while mantis does her mind-fuckery til she gets knocked out and then the dudes take care of it.

Rocket’s character development is mainly yandu telling him not to push people away and that he knows what its like to be in rocket’s shoes yadda yadda. so that gives rocket some time to be angsty cause they need to fill there angst quota somewhere.

like i said i did like nebula’s character development and her backstory but it wasnt really relevant either. it did flesh her out as a character tho.

my main issue with the story was there was an emphasis on these character subplots which ususally I’m all for. But if there was a main plotline which actually tied it all together then it would have worked. It was all well themeatically of having all these characters choosing their families over their bloodties. But having all these subplots almost occur in a vaccum away from all the other subplots AND the main storyline, makes for a really slowww film. in which once a scene ends, more often than not, you have to ask yourself “and what was the point of that”.

And also once you start giving fleshed out character development for the sake of fleshed out character development and not for the overall plot, it makes the fact that some character’s weren’t given this treatment all the more apparent.

Like Drax, in the first film he was a very well developed character. But as i said earlier, literally all he does in GotG2 is laugh alot and tell mantis she’s ugly.

and then there’s groot’s character develop- HA NO

3. GROOT

there is no character development for groot because groot has no character.

groot has ceased to exist and a vacuous void has been been put in his place. that is the only explanation i can come up with for the way he is depicted: he died at the end of the last film, his consciousness vacated his body and then when he was being regrown, no consciousness was left to get put into it.

look

i really dont like being pandered to and here marvel was clearly pandering to anyone who thought little stick groot dancing at the end of the first film was adorable. and i did, obviously. who didnt? but when you try to replace character and motivation with cute, it wont work.

he is dancing and when he’s not dancing he’s misunderstanding information or being near useless in battles. All while he has that creepy vacant smile is on his face.

the camera freaking loves this idiot. to the point that the title sequence just has him dancing to mr blue sky while looking straight into the fucking camera, WHILE A WHOLE FIGHT IS HAPPENING AROUND HIM THAT I WOULD MUCH RATHER SEE.

for one thing, its an injustice to mr blue sky. that shits my jam.

for another thing, there is no music playing within the scene, its non-diegetic. so why’s he dancing?????

in the first film it makes sense cause not only cause the music matters to starlord but also cause it is happening in the scene, he’s listening to it on his headphones and it goes away when he takes them off. it also serves for conveying his character. and also the cinematography is great:the sweeping camera moves and visual gags really make you excited for the film to come.

Here, not only does it not make sense for him to be dancing as there’s no music, it also doesnt make sense for him to be dancing in the middle of a battle or dancing for a camera that he knows the presence off (this aint no 4th wall breaker or it shouldnt be). also the cinematography sucks cause hes too fucking small now so if you go for a wide shot you cant see the fucker. and also youd get distracted from his dancing because of all the action thats happening and WE CANT HAVE THAT. And the animation is good (i mean of course its good its fucking marvel) but they went so out of their way to kid-ify him that his arms and legs are really quite small compared to his head. Which would be fine, but with a dance-number, big arm and leg movements feel very small and don’t match the big music. I really felt a disconnect between what i was seeing and the music i was hearing. it didnt fit (while in the first film it so totally did).

the biggest issue i have with it is that it prioritises the wrong character. it prioritises groot when groot doesnt even have a semblence of a story. he does 2 things in the whole film: unlock a cage and carry a bomb for a little bit (because they realised that he wasnt doing anything so they threw him a bone).

then youve got the other characters getting introduced by telling him off for dancing. which is fair enough but it introduces them as sticks in the mud which is a weird way to introduce the main characters of a Fun Quirky Comedy film. 

like i watched this opening and not only got annoyed at how long it felt but i also genuinely thought “oh i guess this is a groot film”. 

I cannot even begin to explain how much could have gone wrong for me to think that.

I kinda hope the 3rd film (which you can bet your ass Marvel is making right now) is better or at least maybe not as rushed cause i did love the first film and it would be a shame for it to get chewed up in the haste to make make as much money off it as possible before it becomes irrelevant.

C’mon James Gunn. you’re better than this. Sometimes.

P.S. the gold people lol

[lawlightfan42069]

iyo when you write non-straight characters should you specify their sexuality/gender? I mean I'm personally a very 'not into labels at all' person for my own sexuality but support ppl who do find comfort in labels. but when I write I also tend to go toward the 'he just loves who he loves !!!' that sounded stupid but idk how to explain it.. so... like I was wondering why you feel strongly about explicitly stating someone's queerness instead of it being implied (at least u come off as that sorta)

i do definitely feel like that so!! i happen to have a lot of feelings about this so get ready for a Long Ramble. this is a precaution before ive even started typing i just know im gonna write a lot

i think before we start saying anything, we’ve got to acknowledge the difference between people who say that they dont like labels, and writing characters who Don’t Like Labels™. pointing out the problems of the latter is not a condemnation of the former. if someone rly doesnt feel like labeling their sexuality or gender, thats totally alright. the difference between these two is the person is a nuanced, multifaceted human being who may have lots of personal reasons for feeling that way, while the second is a fictional character that is Created and informed by cultural views of the creator. a person is not “created” by one single author and characters arent like…real living agents that have their Own Free Will, they are what their creators make of them. anyway i just feel like this is a rly important distinction that gets lost often!! i’m also more willing to look favorably on someone who self describes that way writing characters based on their own experiences, bc this perspective is inherently different from a straight person writing these sorts of characters. but moving on. 

whats also important to understand, beyond writing characters, is how being openly not straight is shunned. queer people are not allowed to Exist as openly queer and they have not been allowed historically. even these days among people who consider themselves progressive, you’ll often hear that “its alright if someone is gay but do they have to shove it in my face all the time.” this attitude isnt somehow formed in vacuum, but created in a society that treats been openly queer as a taboo. we aren’t allowed to be open about our sexualities the way straight people are. we can’t acknowledge that we’re queer lest someone tells us to Stop Shoving It In Their Face (not missing the irony as we’re surrounded by 400 billboards of hetero couples everywhere). i dont wan’t to delve into other aspects of discrimination and get too off track here, i just want to focus on how being Openly queer is treated as a taboo, particularly among people who still want to call themselves ‘accepting.’ the only way society allows queer people to exist is if they never remind anyone, Ever that they are not straight.

this is Integral to understanding why the i Don’t Like Labels characters are so frustrating. the unwillingness to Explicitly talk about queer people carries over quite handily to media. the same faux progressive people that demand queer people never talk about being queer bc its Too Much Information, will praise queer coded characters that hint at their sexuality but never confirm it. the reason these characters are written is not to genuinely explore why someone might feel uncomfortable with applying labels to themselves, but to appease people who will accept queerness as long as they never have to acknowledge it. this way, u can court queer people interested in representation And people who might like the story but will be uncomfortable with explicit queerness. its an attempt for writers to cash in on peoples desires for interesting queer characters without ever actually fully committing to representing them. you dont get to claim to support queer people if ur also out there providing comfort for peoples homophobia. you cant have a foot in both doors. 

describing queer experiences without calling them queer means that youre okay with this story as long as u dont acknowledge it as something Explicitly not straight and like…why?? why is it suddenly not okay when u take that bundle of experiences and use the word that theyre defining?? theres Weight behind using words like bi, gay, lesbian and if u reject them are u Really okay with lgbtq people? or are you okay with them Despite the fact that theyre lgbtq and not because you take into account theyre lgbtq. acceptance is not tolerating people Despite something, its acknowledging it and validating it as an okay thing to be. especially when it is something that historically Not been validated as okay. dismantling structural systems of queerphobia does not go about by ignoring queerphobia…shit this doesnt just fade away by chance, it takes active work. and part of this active work is Acknowledging Peoples Queerness As Something that is okay Out In The Open. the You in this isnt directed at you anon, just people who have these sentiments. 

throwing vague statements like ‘they just love who they love’ Also creates this level of ambiguity. you might say “well why do u need the certainty when ur describing what is at the very least, something obviously very not straight” and to that i say youd be fucking surprised at how goddamn hard straight people will try to erase the queerness out of a character. like i’m going to use a game called life is strange as a example. i’ll give some background: in the game, the main character max can romance both chloe and warren. note that max is not one of those blank state wholly customisable bioware-esque player characters, she has a personality outside of the choices u make. anyway, the conclusion that is Logically drawn from this is that she is most likely bisexual. or at the very least in some way, not straight. and Yet i have seen discussions that say “she doesnt have a set sexuality it just depends on the playthrough so shes not rly a Queer Character.” even more than that, ive seen people that saw “well even in the chloe one shes not necessarily gay or bi maybe shes just Making an Exception for chloe bc their relationship transcends sexuality” and like ??? Why??? why cant she just be bi?? even when given a queer romance, why do u try and interpret it in a way that sets her up as straight?? ive seen people say “its not a romance its just something that Transcends Words” as if this is… mutually exclusive from being a romance. like… Why doesnt this happen when hetero relationships are depicted?? ive literally never seen someone say “u know, maybe hes not attracted to women and just Making an Exception so hes not straight” why dont u see people try to erase the romance aspect out of hetero romances by claiming their relationship is “Beyond Words.” this treatment is 1000% only ever afforded to queer characters. this attempt to play off romance as not rly romantic is only done to queer characters, even if its done subconsciously. people will Refuse to accept a character is queer as fuck if you dodge around it, because heteronormativity is so ingrained in every interaction that even obviously queer characters get filtered through this lens. the problem with this isnt necessarily apparent until u look at it within historical context, where queer people are repeatedly not allowed to be openly queer. these arent isolated incidents, but manifestations of the idea that queer people shouldnt ever be open about their sexuality. youve got to tackle the discomfort that people have with words like gay/lesbian/bi/etc

i think this particular character trope wouldnt bother me so much if it wasnt like… the only narrative ever present. time and time again, i have to see characters proclaim that they dont like labels while never once even hearing people breathe the word bisexual. if it existed alongside characters who were explicitly queer it would be less frustrating But its literally one of the few ways (semi positive attempts at least) queer characters are ever portrayed. this is particularly true for bisexual characters lmao like… yes…theres people who dont like labels…but theres also millions of bi people that just wanna see a fucking bi character Talk about being bi and all we ever get is a vague “i dont like labels” (that is often never explored further than that and treated as a throwaway line anyway). is creating characters who say that a genuine attempt to characterize someones struggles with labels or is it just a way to avoid saying the word Bisexual.

same with queer romance in media. its only ever Okay if u just hint at it- see dumbledore being gay. see- the korrasami thing (though i dont fault the writers for this bc they pushed hard for what they got, its issues with the network). why are queer people relegated to drawn out stares that May imply something while straight characters are allowed to get into explicit relationships. when u create ambiguous characters that May be interpreted as straight (even if youve really gotta stretch) ur prefer to maintain the negative “neutral” of the heteronormative status quo and allow homophobes to live with their views unchallenged more than u care about addressing queerness in characters. 

 its not a coincidence that we dont do this to straight romance or straight characters. this is particularly important for queer kids!! its good to see queer characters out there being openly queer. while me and u can often pick up on queer themes and narratives, a 8 year old is not going to get that. especially when theyve been conditioned to see straight romance as the only feasible choice. they wont realize the character youre writing is gay or bi or whatever Because they havent been exposed to the connotations we associate w certain phrases. its so important for queer kids to see queer characters Owning that theyre queer. its especially importantly to normalize words like gay or bi or pan. being gay is often Extremely hypersexualized (which is why so many people will tell u they dont care what u do in the bedroom bc they can only picture queerness is a sexual context) so when u Dont treat these words as things only adults can say, u help get rid of the stigma surrounding them. u help remove the idea that being queer is inappropriate for kids to hear about and that the only possible aspect to being queer is sexual. 

anyway this has been Quite the Ramble but the point is that yes, we need to write more characters who are absolutely explicit about their sexuality and move away from the expectation that queer people need to create euphemisms to comfort homophobes desires to never hear about queerness.

[asecretthirdthing]

im at the point where david could tell me he's renouncing his beliefs and i would prob still pursue mormonism anyway.

there is a lot of bullshit within the *church* and we both agree on that. for example one thing id apparently have to do before getting baptized is repent for my *homosexual activities* and my abortion. which he doesnt know what that entails cause he didnt have to do it but lord knows i will fight to get baptized without doing that. and ofc the missionaries abroad are racist. and that this is intristic to the church and you cant escape this. but we believe that the prophet joseph smith did translate the book of mormon from the golden plates (while its obviously not able to be absolutely proven, i could write about this seperately but there is very reasonable evidence and the rest is up to faith/personally for us being critical towards it and still receiving the holy spirit) we believe that jesus is the son of god, and that while the original intention of the bible is the word of god and still carries heavy weight that it has become corrupt by humans. all latter day saints believe that. and i believe in the corruption of the religion by humans, and so does he. and we respect exmormons who have been abused by the church and speak out against it, and not just them but everybody in every religion who has done so. so what do you do when you still believe in the religion? i will let you know that over my dead body will i repent for being bisexual and having my abortion. i always am and always will be bisexual and my abortion, while it was traumatic because i really wanted to keep it, was the right decision and that grief and sorrow exists in the fact that it was the right decision, and i am convinced that was gods plan for me, and i know god created me bisexual on purpose, nothing will ever change that. i will have to figure something else out if like, they seriously wont let me get baptized. even if maybe i have to be conniving and lie to the church, get baptized, then once im in the church speak out against it. idk. maybe we can be conniving since david has the authority to baptize me anyway maybe we can just say i repented for "all" of my sins (which would be true, just not what they would think) idk how it works also we have decided to raise our kids to be critical about everything they are taught and also we have no problem if they dont want to be a part of it and will always keep that line open and check in on how they feel about it. just i dont know ever since ive been investigating it seriously it was just so we could get married but its important to me now despite the fucked up shit. and i love it as well because i still feel complete freedom to be myself, if not more. divine intervention really. anyway. 102 more hours.