#but the fact that it's never addressed as a bad thing?
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Can you do a reaser g/n who is the equivalent to John wick. With Steve
⥠[TFP] STEVE/ST3V3 HCs!
anon, you asked after i said reqs were closed but i lowkey think the request is FIRE because the idea factory started going overdrive⌠it's kinda short though! forgive me :,,)
scenario: you're here because you get paid, a super efficent mercernary with a penchant for violence and the vehicons adore you for that, especially the one with the worst luck known to Cybertron
warnings: one sided from steve angst(?)

â He knew he wasn't supposed to, ST3V3 knew damn well he was never supposed to but how couldn't he? So what if you're a higher ranking bot and he's just an expendable clone! You technically don't have a rank though⌠You're just a mercenary-for-hire Megatron calls upon when everything's gone to slag. You make it clear you don't work for the tyrant and that you're only here because he has you on his payroll which all the vehicons are jealous of. But they respect it too. It makes you admirable in a way.
â And your lack of an alignment does make you a gamble for his benefactor but ST3V3 couldn't resist, even if he shouldn't. It was pathetic really, how, Pit, not even kindness but basic decency had him so utterly smitten. Only other mech was Breakdown but Breakdown was more of the pleasantries and conversation kind, you were actively saving their lives and from a trip to the medbay.
â It was the little things that really got to him. The fact that you bothered to remember the codenames of all the Vehicons you met, the way you actually tried to make sure none of them got hurt when you're one-on-one against an Autobot⌠And you get real violent.
â But he'd be lying if he said seeing you covered in energon wasn't ominously attractive in some strange kind of way. Maybe he's sustained too much blaster damage to his helmâŚ
â He kinda also wants to be in the same position as those sorry Autobot troopers beneath you but in a different context.
â There's something about being treated like an actual individual that gets to him a lot. While you certainly arenât a conversationalist, your cautiousness to make sure more Vehicons don't get terminated and the way you acknowledge their existence is sparkfelt to him. You somehow even knew who was who despite all of them looking almost alike!
â ST3V3's spark skips a beat every time you actually address him by his designation, the name he chose for himselfâ âSteveâ. It's a bit monotone and dare he say, almost in the manner Shockwave would've said it in but even then, it gets him all giddy. Secretly of course.
â But⌠turns out, most of the Vehicons felt the same way about you. You are certainly a popular subject amongst them, they talk about you at least once a day. However, most of them admire only from a distance. Also, sometimes their talk about you is⌠less than savoury. Itâs like in those movies where they go; âcheck out that babe over thereâ, cue someone whistling, âohhh, i see that alrightâŚâ. Basically, they talk like old perverts. And they do envy ST3V3âŚ
â Because he gets to talk to you a lot more than the rest of them. ST3V3 is known for his horrendously bad luck so you end up saving his tailpipe from more damage. Of course, you're doing this as a professional courtesy.
â They don't realize that you see them as individuals because you've never really been around drones before, you genuinely think of them as people and so, you think of them as being on the same team which is the only reason you look out for them.
â Now, ST3V3 and the other Vehicons get more reckless when they're assigned to help you out on missions you're hired for. They're endangering themselves on purpose so you could be their hero. You're like their angel. Even though you are far, far from one.
â ST3V3 still gushes thinking about that day when you held him in your servos for a brief moment when he was about to land flat onto his faceplate because of an explosion.
â At some point, you even have a chat with Megatron about how improperly trained his Vehicon troops are. Having the ball bearings to, respectfully, ask him if the Vehicons have had their combat programming curtailed. Lord Megatron could've blasted a shot right through your chassis for that one! ST3V3 is impressed by your courage. Megatron keeps you around because you're useful.
â ST3V3 is the number one culprit, he's already got terrible luck without even trying. So when you mention ST3V3 to Megatron, he's⌠he's confused. He has a ST3V3 in his ranks? What? Since when? Why an Earth name? And you just blink in confusion at his confusion. There's an awkward silence between the two of you. Megatron thinks you've gone off the rails by bothering to remember the names of drones. But he doesn't say that to you, judging you in silence but you can feel his judgement, heavily.
â You keep your optics peeled for ST3V3 and try to make sure he's not in a position where he's in trouble but even then, somehow, by some spark-forsaken curse or something (you're starting to believe he may actually be cursed), he still ends up in trouble! Under blaster fire, under debris, under falling Autobots. He hopes maybe someday he'll be under you instead.
â You're not an easily frustrated individual. You never really were one. So you scold ST3V3; the nicest, most polite, well-mannered and sparkfelt (his definition of sparkfelt is basic decency) way any bot as ever dared to speak to him in and he swore he fell even harder. The other Vehicons are seething in jealousy.
â Sometimes, ST3V3 fantasizes about being taken away to your worldâ wherever it is that you go in your spacecraft after you're done with what you were paid to do. Would you take him there? Primus, he hopes you do. But he knows it will never really happen.
â He gets easily distracted in a fight when you're there so his natural talent for finding trouble comes to him. But you're giving him a mouthful afterwards so⌠it's still a win in ST3V3âs book! He gets to be saved by you AND gets to hear you talk to him.
â You give ST3V3 a look of acknowledgement in the hallway once and he's been boastful about it to the other Vehicons since. His visor makes it hard for you to discern what he feels so you can't tell his excitement. They're all incredibly jealous.
â One time, he actually did something right for once and you applauded him. ST3V3 has had that memory engraved into his databanks and he's been clinging onto it for cycles.
â ST3V3 gets so awkward around you but you can't really blame him! You're intimidating. From your dark aura to the way you are on the field, it really makes you attractive and scary. Sometimes you crack a joke every now and then, it surprises him a bit but he laughs a bit. He's trying not to laugh out loud and look like a total idiot thoughâ He doesn't want you to think he's even worse of an awkward clutz.
â You call him many things; trouble magnet, auto-bait, autobot detector (he's the first one to get shot at), adrenaline junkie, the world's worst good luck charm... many notable names. It's.. kinda funny though so he tries to not let it get to him. But the other Vehicons tease him with it too. Call him an actual pet-name and he will melt though. Something like 'sweetspark' and he's on his knees.
â He's so into you, it's not even funny at this point. ST3V3 wants you badly. So very badly. He gets extremely jealous when he sees Knockout try and shoot his shot at you, he doesn't really do anything about the jealousy he feels nor does he blame Knockout for even trying. He would too if he had a higher rank.
â He wouldn't actually try pursuing you though. ST3V3, as well as the other Vehicons know that they don't have a chance here. They're just Vehicon drones and they'll terminate as Vehicon drones⌠No matter how much they dream otherwise, the dark struggles of being a Vehicon are endless.
okay guys i'm still not done with OG batch of requests, ik i said i'd only be taking ten but there was an excess amount. so i did the ones that i felt i could write quickly first and moved onto the ones i feel would require more detail and my own special touch last. also pls, pls don't request when requests are closed :(( i feel inclined to write them and end up feeling bad when i don't... theres just like three more though so im good, cooling extra special for my moots :P
#tfp#transformers prime#steve x reader#ST3V3#st3v3#st3v3 x Reader#tfp steve#tfp steve x reader#transformers#transformers x reader#cybertronian reader#reader insert#i love writing for underrated characters RAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#idk if it's ST3V3 or Steve#so im rolling with both âźď¸#i feel bad for the vehicons#lowkey didn't ask to be a dictator's evil minions#just made that way...#the irony of megatron turning into what he hated the mostâ tragic#ill bet my soul that megatron doesn't know the names of the vehicons#also i bet my soul that the vehicons have code names for each other#i think the vehicons are kinda like the clone troopers from star wars#i like to imagine their interactions like that#they're definitely not like clone wars clone troopers though đ
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Anonymous asked: Hi RBS, Hope you are doing well. I really love reading (and re-reading) your blog! I'm fairly new to the community and wanted to ask about the charitable initiatives undertaken by the bjyx fans. From what Iâve gathered, some of these efforts include funding schools in the joint names of ggdd. It also seems that these initiatives go through some kind of government review. (I gathered this from some very quick research I did about fundraising for charitable initiatives, so I might not be 100% correct here). Given this, wouldnât ggdd be aware of these projects being carried out in their joint names? It seems unlikely such serious initiatives would continue without their awareness (or consent?). What are your thoughts on this? Thanks! (I would prefer to be anonymous because I'm new here)
Hi new turtle! đđ˘đ
BXG donated supplies to flood victims back in 2023.
I'm doing well, thanks! I hope you are too. Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. đ
Yes, turtles have done a lot of charitable works in GG and DD's names in the past. Just a few I can recall off the top of my head - they've built schools, they built safe roadways into remote communities to give villagers better access to everything they need, they've installed solar lighting along pathways in remote areas to make them safer, they send truckloads of food, water and supplies to regions hit by disaster. And as far as we know, GG and DD have never tried to prevent that.
We can clown a bit about this, but we should be careful about over-interpreting.
Yes, GG and DD likely know about a lot of the charitable works being done in their name (as I've said in the past, it's impossible that they don't have people on their teams who keep an ear to the ground in fan circles), and given how charitable and kind they both are, I have no doubt they really appreciate these works and are moved by the kindness of turtles. However.
No star - especially in China, where there is a lot of toxic fan behavior - is going to try to put a stop to this kind of activity by fans.
For one thing, they will be happy that aid is getting to where it is needed. That's the most important thing.
They've also got bigger fish to fry in trying to stop or rein in the fan wars and abusive behaviors of their fans and antis.
These works make them look good. This is free PR for any celebrity. "___'s fans sent 70 pallets of food and water to the region struck by earthquake" is a positive action that reflects well on that star.
Conversely, trying to put a stop to charitable works has a huge chance of making the star look like a terrible person. "___'s fans attempt to send aid to earthquake victims thwarted by star/star's management" is not a hotsearch anyone would want to deal with.
There's also a risk of backlash from those fans, who would lose face and would feel rejected if the star or the star's team tried to stand in the way of their charitable works.
This is positive behavior. If a star's fans are doing charitable works, awesome. They could be doing something really bad, like attacking other stars or spreading malicious homophobic rumors about their husband, or getting websites shut down. A star is likely to just be relieved that there are fans out there who are doing positive things vs all the BS they have to deal with daily from fans.
Most of all - turtles are GG and DD's fans. GG and DD both recognize this, and no matter how controversial we are to a lot of people, GG and DD appreciate all of their fans - including us. Solos have the conceit that they're the fans and we are something else, but in fact, we're all equally fans. GG and DD stopped referring to their fandoms by name years ago. They no longer address motos or shrimps by name. When they talk about fans they just say, "Fans." Not just because turtles exist, but also because not all fans - even solo fans - identify as motos or shrimps.
There might be extreme circumstances where an artist's team would want to step in and put a stop to something, but the situation would have to be so extreme that the fans were breaking the law or associating them with a cause that could harm them.
An example of this might be a group of fans attempting to make a flashy public donation to a subversive political movement that would be considered offensive to most of the public and that the government would frown upon.
But fans are highly unlikely to do that, and they'd be unlikely to get far along the road anyway, as such donations are likely illegal or tightly controlled by the government. It would also be just as likely to backlash on the fans themselves as on the star. Hence you don't see antis trying to do harmful charitable works in a rival star's name, or trying to associate harmful people or ideas with rival stars via charitable works.
The most that we can reliably take from the fact that GG and DD do not try to put a stop to turtle's charitable works is that they don't see those works as harmful to their reputations.
That doesn't stop their solos from interfering with turtle's charitable works. They do it all the time.
However, I personally believe GG and DD especially value these works by turtles, and are deeply moved by them. They're not at liberty to do joint public works in their own names as a couple, but turtles make it happen on their behalf. I talked a bit about that more in this post.
But that is CPN. We can't claim that with any certainty.
Since you're new here you might find my masterlist post helpful. You can find a lot of previous topics shared there, along with resources and references that might be useful.
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what are your thoughts on fiddleford and/or ford still being religious? I enjoy the idea of old queer characters reconciling with it, especially after the kinds of things theyâve been through
Ooooh here we go. Ok, so I've thought about this quite a bit. But i'm gonna try and keep it on the lighter side. Having typed this beast out, it's under a read more đł
I think a lot of Ford's path with his faith can be attributed to this quote:
A little science distances you from God, but a lot of science brings you nearer to Him. -Louis Pasteur, Founder of microbiology and immunology
Ford went from a Jewish childhood, to an observant-for-the-sake-of-his-ma teenager, then a no nonsense, man of science who assumed there could never be an overlap between science and faith.
But after the Portal, after Weirdmageddon, after everything he's seen, I don't think he could really explain his full feelings on his faith. I think he keeps it to himself most of the time, except for late night talks with Fiddleford about it.
Because he's seen so many things he doesn't understand. Things that shouldn't be, but somehow are. And during his time through the Portal, he's realized how little he actually knows about-- Everything. And it makes him consider things.
He says he doesn't know what to call that feeling. But there's a part of him, a quiet whisper in the back of his mind that he's afraid to address.
And while I don't think you'd see him voluntarily attending weekly Services in person, I do see instances where he does go. But I think his first service back, that only Fiddleford knew about it. He was really in his head about it, and didn't want it to be a whole "thing" that he had to explain. He didn't want it to mean he was making any grand statement, or declaration of any kind. He just wanted to go attend a service. They end up going to the Yom Kippur evening service at a Reform Synagogue.
As a kid, everything about going to Temple was uncomfortable. He didn't understand what they were reading or why, the clothes were a sensory hell, he wasn't allowed to bring one of his own books to read, and Filbrick always tended to be more irritable than usual.
But now that he was grown. He was wearing clothes he could actually breathe in. He and Fiddleford sat in the back (because he wasn't sure if he'd actually sum up the nerve to go in if he went alone.) He mostly observed, mumbling through the prayers he could remember. But he was shocked to realize how similar to meditation it all felt (bc it totally is, dude).
And I think that after services ended, they both sat there for a while while Ford tried to figure out what it was he was feeling.
He still doesn't go to services every week. In fact he rarely goes at all. But when he's having a bad time (think 'hasn't slept, PTSD brain fog, and his executives have stopped functioning) he does go. It helps. He still feels weird about it at times, but Fiddleford's a good conversation partner to have. I'd like to think that the biggest religious display Ford has is a Magen David that he wears sometimes. He fiddles with it, which helps too.
Fiddleford though!
Tennessee in the 60s? The McGuckets were Southern Baptist, baybee. But I'd like to think that his family attended a rural church that wasn't in support of the, then in Vogue, "Jesus Movement", an outreach program that ultimately led a lot of young hippies to Christianity.
Fiddleford liked it, thought it looked loose and fun. But his parents, while not actively hateful, were definitely the brand of Christian parents of the time that believed "there was a right way to do things." That didn't include people dancing barefoot in the aisles at church. So they looked askance towards that kind of progressive Christianity.
So Fiddleford was a good farm kid, got good grades, then went to college, found BMU's Christian hippies and fell in with them when not with Ford. He met Emma-May through them and saw an opportunity to check that box and be a good son, and a good husband.
(If we're still goin with Trans man Fiddleford, which is my favorite, not much changes. But after the Supreme Court victory in 1976 allowing a trans woman to marry a cis man, he immediately got married to Emma May and moved to California so they'd be safer (and yeah Im going to ignore that they required full reassignment surgeries for that sshhh) )
He did his best, and was struggling with the classic guilt that one gets growing up in a conservative country church. Especially as a closeted queer man. He gets the call from Ford, drives up to Oregon, and bing bang boom, 30 year cognitive spiral that still found him seeking shelter in places of worship (I see you Land Before Swine).
After all's said and done, after Weirdmageddon, I think he spends a lot of time thinking about God. Especially in those ten months where he lived alone in the mansion. (I'm going with my fic timeline btw)
It gave him a LOT of time to think, and process. I think he grieved. I think he was confused, Angry. I think he went back and forth between apathy and pleading, confused prayer. But I also think there's ultimately still a lot of comfort to be found for him in faith.
I think on paper he goes to an in-person service much quicker than Ford does. He looks online and scours the county for the most safe, affirming, radical love church he could find (Cough* Episcopalians)
The first time he goes, he sits in the back and Just barely makes it through the opening hymn before he scrambles out the door.
It takes him a while to go back. But eventually he does.
And sure, after taking Eucharist for the first time in thirty-something years, he has a massive panic attack in the back pew and doesn't go back for 4 months. But he still goes back eventually. Not every week, not even every month, but he goes sometimes. He really likes the choir, and their priest is kind.
If you asked him about his faith, I don't know what he'd say. But I'd like to think he'd just shrug and carry on with whatever he was doing.
And uhh, the end.đ¤ˇââď¸
This was super fun!! Thanks for the ask!!
#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#fiddauthor#post canon fiddauthor#old fiddauthor#this was fuuuuun#also very long winded I know#also I'm half asleep forgive me.#probably forgot some stuff but here you gooooooo
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What does this take accomplish? Really? All it does is make it seem like Ursa's the most abused person in the Fire Nation Royal Family and that being her is suffering. Putting aside the fact that you're putting down both Zuko and Azula's abuse by putting Ursa on a pedestal, I have to ask...why?
Why make Ursa virtually powerless as a character? I'm not talking about political power or familial power? I'm talking about why make her essentially a weeping willow whose only purpose in the story is to cry about her past?
Like, I get it. If we take the comics into canon, Ursa was put in a shitty position that nobody should be put in. Yet here's my question, and I want you to answer this earnestly.
Why should we give a damn about Ursa if she apparently can't do anything?
You say she can't properly control her kids and raise them, but we see that in canon with both Zuko and Azula. If she didn't, why would both of them remember her both fondly and negatively, respectively? In fact, if she was distant to the point that Zuko would gravitate towards Ozai no matter what she did, then her leaving shouldn't have been earth-shattering to him. And he shouldn't have gone on a quest to find her if all she was to him was "teaching him kindness" and just a positive influence.
Cause guess what? Ursa DID do stuff. She DID try to raise Zuko right and even tried to be a mother to Azula. Ultimately she was a shitty mother who screwed up, but even then that meant that somewhere in her brain she knew she had to be there for Azula. The problem was that she played favorites just like Ozai did with both of them and how Azulon played favorites with Ozai and Iroh. Again, nobody's saying she didn't care for Azula, but that doesn't mean she was the best parent imaginable.
What we are trying to do is not demonize Ursa. What we are trying to do is have her take responsibility for what she did. She did hurt Azula, but she never tried to do anything on her end to make things right. You know, despite her trying her damndest in the past to make sure Zuko and Azula got along. And yes, she WAS imperialistic, yet she never shows any regret or development from that to being an equalist. Sure she didn't do anything and was far away from the conflict, but it would be an elephant in the room for somebody like Zuko to address eventually.
Instead, she gets painted as a picture perfect mother who did nothing wrong ever. I'm sorry, but that's just a shitty character right there. I mean, I think there is something to be said for a mother who does nothing and has that be part of her character. But again, let it have consequences and don't make her sympathetic because of it.
Letting this go by is just...well, it's gross and sets a pretty bad example for any discussions of Ursa. Or at the very least, ask yourself what your take does for Ursa. Cause if it tears her down like you did here, then it's a disservice to the character.
Angry again over the ATLA fandom's treatment of Ursa, one of the biggest victims in the entire series of the FN Royal Family.
People treat the Royal Family like it's just another abusive household, which results in the overly harsh treatment of Ursa, who was the most powerless person in that entire family by political standards. She was a lowborn, engaged to the younger prince as a test to merge the bloodlines of the Royal Family with that of an Avatar's. She was basically forced into an experimental arranged marriage to a disposable heir, cut off from her family, and thrown into a pit of vipers AKA the Royal Palace.
Imagine being in her shoes. Imagine having virtually no support or standing in an unfamiliar place where even the slightest mistake could result in either humiliation at best or death at worst. She is married to a horrible man who despises the fact that he doesn't even get a noble for a wife, that he is being ridiculed by being married off to a lowborn and basically being told that it was impossible for him to ever be the Fire Lord, since if he had a fair shot wouldn't they have ensured a better marriage prospect? He gains no supporters or additional backing through his wife, which he should have had as a prince, and doesn't that just sting? He's discredited in Azulon's eyes, and in the eyes of the nobility, so what chance does he have to rise above his station now?
Who do you think took the brunt of his shame and anger at his situation? Who would have suffered most at the hands of an angry young man who had no qualms with burning his own thirteen-year-old son for just daring to speak up unasked?
People claim Ursa had let go of Azula because she thought Azula was a monster and that she only helped Zuko because he was kind. Zuko was allowed to be kind because he was deemed weak, and Ozai didn't want to pay attention to him. He is only kind because of his mother's influence, which he wouldn't have had if he was up to Ozai's standards. If he had been, Ozai would have kept Ursa and Zuko separate to better control Zuko and ensure his son's loyalty. He wanted his heir to be a child that he could paint entirely in his own image to cover up the fact that their other parent was a peasant, which would cast further doubts on his rights and position within the palace.
People make it out to be like Ursa CHOSE to save Zuko, laughably assuming that this woman had the ability to CHOOSE anything, much less ANY sort of power within the palace. Even her own children outranked her in the nobles' eyes by virtue of having royal blood. She lived in the place where her husband worked and where all the servants answered to either him or his father, so she was never truly free to move or act. Every move was watched. Every interaction was noted.
Ursa was able to influence and help Zuko by showing him a form of kindness, but notice how she never said a bad word about Ozai or the Royal Family? She couldn't. She never twisted Zuko away or tried to outright call her husband wrongâshe even defended some of his actions despite knowing otherwise. She could not act or speak freely. She knew she was being watched. She couldn't even pull Zuko away completely from Ozaiâthat's how utterly powerless she was. Her children loved a monster, and she could do nothing to stop them.
We are shown in canon that Ursa and Zuko spend time together, but that's just it. Ursa never tries to turn Zuko "good" or convince him Ozai is terrible because she CAN'T. She does her best by being stern and setting examples, and Zuko is desperate enough for love to internalize every moment with her, but the pond scene shows how Ursa was only able to do just thatâplay the role of a stern, kind mother.
And the thing isâif given the chance, she'd save them both. She loved them both, even if Azula reminded her too much of the monster that she married. If she had ever had the opportunity, she would have left with both. Except she couldn't because once Ozai had his prodigy, she was never going to be able to go near her child ever again. Ursa would try, through Zuko as we see in the flashback, to reach her daughter somehow, but it never worked. If she truly always thought of Azula as a "monster", would she let her "perfect son" go play with her? She could have shut Azula out completely and discourage her from ever coming close, Azula is young enough to still listen to her Mom, but we see both Azula and Zuko at her side reading the letter. Ursa doesn't lean away from her daughter. We see her hesitate but never flinch away when she is near Azula.
Ursa only spent time with Zuko because he was the only one she COULD have paid attention to, not because she CHOSE to. Ozai paid him no interest, so she was ALLOWED to spend her time with Zuko. If she had the chance, the allowance, to spend time with Azula she would have done it in a fucking heartbeat. People paint her as "saving" the one "who could be saved" or "throwing Azula to the wolves to focus on Zuko" as if she had any fucking choice, as if she didn't took what crumbs she could get to be close to her children. She didn't toss Azula aside, Ozai KEPT THEM APART. I REPEAT, HE KEPT THEM APART. He did NOT want his lowborn wife influencing his prized heir with her ways, so he kept them apart, READ THAT AGAIN.
It was never Ursa "choosing" which of her kids to save and protect. It was always her doing her best to use her limited, almost non-existent freedom of movement to reach her children in any way, and Zuko just happened to be free. If anyone was doing the whole "focusing on one kid and tossing aside the other" it. Was. Ozai.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla meta#ursa#atla ursa#ursa critical#fire nation royal family#zuko#azula#ozai
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also it is really funny even with the chantry basically removed from the game it still gets handled with more care and respect than any of the other religions, the fact that you get so many options to comfort the andrastians when it's revealed their maker may not be real, and you can even pray at the temple later with the viper after minrathous is attacked... every character is just assumed andrastian, and if they're not it's always used against them in some way (dalish elves are repeatedly punished in these games simply for being dalish and are depicted as being foolish for wanting to connect with their gods and culture instead of assimilating and "moving on from the past") it's always amused me in that way even when trying to be critical of the chantry, the writers still manage to always grant it and the andrastians so much grace because of their real world bias (white + culturally christian) and the obvious real world inspiration for andrastianism. even with it's absence in veilguard it's still There in more subtle and even insidious ways given that all blame is placed on the evanuris instead.
#characters like harding and sebastian and aveline and cassandra all get kinda elevated in game because theyre andrastian#even if harding turns to the stone towards the end it doesn't change that fact#sebastian lectures fenris on having faith and insisting it was the maker that freed him from danarius which is an insane thing to say#and extremely inappropriate but again sebastian is given way more grace to be awful w/o the game allowing u to challenge him#versus like. being able to tell anders to basically kill himself LOL and fenris you can say pretty horrible shit arguing with him#and harding in veilguard you literally Cannot challenge her at all ever. only niceys#versus bellara who is made to feel guilty and is punished a second time with the death of her brother#merrill and velanna are also punished in previous games#bad templars are always depicted as lone wolves like sir alrik#but then when you go talk to cullen he actually agrees with his ideas and then we just never address it again lol#somehow cullen does a complete 180 between games and we never get to really see that but again he is granted way more grace#and all his past wrongs forgiven#he has faith and also now he's nice and hot so who cares!#da posting#datv critical
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every day I am in Agony over the fact that widomauk is the first kiss of the campaign, Caleb kissed Molly back in the very end, the literal last scene between King and Caleb is them flirting and King is still so utterly enamored with his Magician, and I just wish...there was any mention of those feelings in the wrap up or a q and a or anything. Absolutely begging Taliesin to tell us what Molly/King feels for Caleb--why he chose to make King's last moments on screen him being explicitly attracted to Caleb, and whether we will ever get to see him revisit those feelings one day...
#widomauk#it just. makes me so sad#i want to hear taliesin talk about king's feelings so bad. what caleb meant to him. why he went with That as his final scene in the campaig#and i feel like we've gotten to hear liam talk so much about caleb's unrequited feelings for jes and things like that and I just...wish#we got some sort of conversation like that from tal or liam#also the 'CALEB. SOFTNESS AND LIGHT' COMMENT THAT MOLLY HAS ABOUT HIM IN THE NOVEL. OR THE FACT LUCIEN#AND KING AND MOLLY HAVE ALL FLIRTED WITH CALEB AT SOME POINT--#caleb being the person who fought the hardest to get molly back in that final fight. how he kept reaching for him and breaking through#lucien's control#and what that means--#i dont know if i should feel silly or ridiculous for hoping we get to see taliesin address those feelings one day#but like...maybe this ship just hits different from someone who watched early c2 live and the way this ship was treated then#the episode right before molly died being so full of little adorable moments between the two. all the potential#seeing them get the first kiss of the campaign#matt even making their little minis kiss--#all the missed potential and loose ends and the feelings they never got to share#would give anything to hear taliesin talk about everything king still feels for the nein#but especially his magic man ;; â
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting#infizero.analysis
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"Anakin/Obi Wan/Yoda/PadmĂŠ/Shmi is the most tragic character in Star Wars" you are WRONG actually. L3-37 HOWEVER.....
#blah#the fact that no one ever talks about her is so messed up actually#like she is everything to me actually and what they did to her is beyond horrid#'it was life or death' IM NOT SAYING THEY HAD ANOTHER OPTION IM SAYING IT WAS TERRIBLE#this is going to get like 2 notes but i dont care because im literally right#choices were made in her creation!!!!!! she is a revolutionary!!!!!!! she values freedom for all droids more than anything else including#her own life!!!!! no matter how you feel about it they had that one like about her and lando! there is some form of jumbled emotional#romantic thread between them in some direction! and then they took this character and killed her off before plugging what was left of her#into the falcon!!! and they framed that as a good thing!!!! a GOOD THING. can you believe that?!?!?!?!#they made a character whose greatest value was independence and choice and turned them into an object to be bought and traded and bartered#and sold for ETERNITY (pretty much) and framed that as a good thing.#'this way shell be with us forever' THAT ISNT WHAT SHE WANTS#and then. and then. bc it gets worse. this cycle of buying and trading begins with her best friend (and lets be honest man she likely loved)#betting her on a card game like an object#and this will never ever be addressed#it absolutely destroys me thats what it is#SHE DOESNT EVEN GET TO DIE!!!!!!#like sw wronged her so bad and literally no one cares in universe or out except for me like đ¤Źđ¤Źđ¤Źđ¤Źđ¤Ź#sw#solo: a star wars story#star wars#lando calrissian#L3 37
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As much as I hate the way Celia's behavior was handled in KttP; Anne, Thomas, and Higby in a room together truly are a realistic representation of what happens when 3 educators with different philosophies all try to fix the same problem
#having worked with kids before#yeah its kind of inevitable that you'll disagree with the way a fellow adult is handling something#and trying to juggle helping the kid vs keeping a good working relationship with your coworkers is...#exactly like that#they dont agree and they're trying not to air all their greivences in front of the 12 year old but they REALLY dont agree#but also- having worked with kids before...#MAN these people are doing a bad job#it boggles the mind that anne could have gotten through years of being a dorm head by guilt tripping and assuminng that#everyone has a logical reason for what they do. sometimes kids feel strong emotions and then they act on those emotions.#they don't have a REASON#the best way forward is to address the cause of those emotions#youll get nowhere if you act like there are no situational stressors or external causes#anyway mr. morven you're a real one#thanks for standing up to Celia when no one else would#higby h snodridge#anne legaspi#thomas morven#AND ANOTHER THING#the fact that Anne had the audacity to be upset that celia didn't trust her???#and instead of taking that as the gut-wrenching wake-up call it should have been she just guilt trips celia about it????#and then doesnt actually do anything to prove that shes trustworthy???#unfathomable#I am immediately reminded why I never reread this book#I've been psychoanalyszing Anne there might be a post to come about it we'll see#celias journey#key to the past
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Tbh I know it seems like I only just became active again but I actually talk about ninjago all the time irl. Iâm just scared to say my opinions here cuz everyone is so different from how they used to be. Not that thatâs bad but I feel like my opinions are outdated. But I wonât change them.
#mostly about how I hate misako IM SORRYYY OK. DOES THIS RLLY MAKE ME A MISOGYNIST THO???#like if yall wanna ignore the bad writing I hella respect that. but I personally cannot. so I donât like her. sorry.#cuz I agree she has a lot of potential and there are ways she could be a good character but they just⌠didnât make her one. wasted potential#at least they didnât execute her very well. like Iâm shocked ppl like her now. yall can watch s2 and not have ur blood boil?#there are like ten million hypocritical things she does that never get addressed ever and Iâm supposed to. ignore that cuz women.#like Iâm giving MOST women a pass cuz the writers SUCKKEDD at writing them back then. but I just donât think misako earned that back#thatâs just me personally as I said I respect if yall like her. I think itâs based. I just donât see why suddenly her haters are called#misogynists. like⌠the show didnât handle her well and in fact handled her very frustratingly Iâm sorry. congrats to those who move past it.
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military issued wife but you didn't know that using the "dating app" your friend brought up once in idle talk would end with you in an office with a (signed) marriage license on the desk, actively not looking at your 'husband', the burly lummox with a skull mask who's dwarfing the chair he can barely fit in.
you'd thought it'd be like tinder. a potential dating site. as in messaging on the app, getting to know each other, exchanging personal numbers before going on a date. not marriage. not opening your front door expecting it to be your door dasher and instead it's him with a rucksack in one hand and duffel in the other.
he'd looked down his thick nose at you, grunted a quiet, "not bad", and pushed past as if you were a swinging door to a saloon. what the fuck had he been doing there? you'd only spoken a couple of times with him and left on read for the some of it. you'd chosen to move on, try to match with someone else but the app had stopped working (you couldn't swipe right or left anymore) so you'd just put it on the back burner. you had better things to worry about than another disappointment of a man then.
except now said disappointment of a overly large man is taking up most of the couch and his legs aren't even all that far apart. and he's at your house. the house you'd never sent him the address to. as a matter of fact, you'd received a text from an unknown number earlier that had said someone would be home in a few. you'd ignored it thinking it was a wrong number situation but now you're sure it was him. how he got your phone number is also a mystery.
you'd tried to argue. to threaten him with the cops. to get him out and away, far fucking away, but he'd only scooped you up and let you pelt his broad back with your fists. chuckled low in his throat while he smacked your arse to keep still. "i'd hate to drop m'wife."
whatever fight you had he ate right out of you with the heels of your feet digging into the large curve of his shoulders and his hands curled around the back of your thighs. maybe it's because it'd been a while but he'd played your body like an instrument and had you bucking your hips against his tongue, slick coating his face in minutes. (your cheeks burn furiously hot when you think back on what he'd said then. "tight little thing 'nd you've only taken my two fingers." it's flattering, sue you.)
he'd lapped at your sodden cunt until you had overstimulation clumping your lashes together, inner thighs tender from the bristles of his shorn hair and unshaven jaw, your palm on the crown of his head having both pulled him to you and pushed him away.
and then he'd wiped your release with the back of his hand, thumbed the swollen flesh of your bottom lip and rumbled that it's time for bed.
which eventually led to you being here. in front of a man he calls Price, a marriage certificate unlike any you've ever glanced upon, a large gloved hand curled snugly around your leg, fingers grazing a little too close to where he'd left aching and swollen just yesterday.
you're reading the terms and conditions of anything from here on forward. even the fine print.
and then soap comes around and plants a seed in his head of him planting a seed in you :/ at least you can tell your nosy ass aunt that at least you've got a man while she's on her 4th divorce on thanksgiving đ
đź
#now instead of when you getting a boyfriend it's when you having kids#before you get to say that there will be no kids simon's interrupting telling them that yall will have enough for a rugby team#erm-#while he gets spoiled by the older ladies of the house you're on the phone with laswell#it doesn't say that you MUST give him kids right?#RIGHT??#LASWELL??#HELLO??#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you
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while visiting the doctor he asks you if youâd like to participate in highly important medical research for a bit of extra cash, he says theyâll pay five thousand bucks at the end of the research and all you have to do is ârun a few standard tests and stay a couple of nights at a research facilityâ
you agree, i mean he said it was important and the fact they are paying you is a nice added bonus, what could be so bad about a couple of nights in a medical research facility?
the next day you arrive at the address given to you, an empty secluded carpark, with a black SUV parked in the middle. you get out expecting maybe a doctor or a scientist to happily greet you, they did say it was highly important, surely this is normal right? instead four suited men emerge from the doors of the vehicle and grab you roughly by the arms and legs carrying you into the car, kicking and struggling you notice one reach into his pocket, pull out a small cloth and push it close against your face. you only remember the sweet smell as you blackout.
florescent white light invades your vision when you re awake. groggy, you try to stretch your arms when you realise you cant move them, infact, you cant move anything from your neck down. you look down to see you are strapped down on a padded table, arms pinned to your sides, legs spread apart, naked and vulnerable. you were so confused, what the hell was going on?
you see a man, a clean looking older man wearing a white lab coat enters the room holding a clipboard and a pen and takes a seat next to you in a chair just out of your vision. you try to speak, to ask him what was going on but your words are muffled and barely audible, in your mouth was a small gag. after a couple of minutes hearing him writing on a his clipboard you notice a wet squelching sound approaching you, as it got to where you were strapped on the table you heard the man speak. âtime is 22:43, first compatibility test starts nowâ
you felt multiple long slimy tentacles wrap round your already restrained thighs, more made their way onto your chest circling your breasts and eventually teasing your nipples, they began by gently prodding them, tapping and nudging your nipples before placing one of their suckers on each of them. this canât be happening. you feel your clit twitch. no this- this is so wrong, you didnât sign up for this, why was this happening to you? what was this thing? and whyâŚ.why was it making you wet?
you didnât get the chance to be confused for much longer, feeling another slimy appendage make its way up your legs, it makes its way up your thigh and then stops, right infront of your cunt. slowly it rubs itself up and down your slit, mixing its slime with your wetness before making is way to your clit. again it prods, pokes and taps at the bud between your legs. you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, you really dont want to be turned on by this but something about the way the tentacle on has now switched to suckling gently on your clit has you gushing.
âthe subject responds incredibly well to stimulation provided by the first creatureâ the man speaks calmly, you cant stop your eyes from rolling in the back of your head, every single movement from the appendages had you twitching. its like they new exactly how and where to touch you.
you felt another appendage press at the entrance to your cunt. this one was thicker than the rest, the tip pushes into your hole, and even the first few inches are a stretch. it pushes further and further in stretching your little tight hole nice and wide for it. you cum just from the stretch alone, and the extra stimulation on the rest of your body. whatever this creature is, it does not care that your pussy has never taken anything this big before, it starts brutally shifting in and out of your stretched hole, rubbing up every wall again and again and again. you start to see stars, the overstimulation way too much for your poor body to handle.
and right when you think your on the edge, about to blackout. it stops and pushes deep down, up against your cervix. you feel its hot sticky fluid invade your womb while it twitches up against your walls. all the other appendages stop stimulating your nipples and clit, hearing them slither off and away from the table. you lie and wait, surely it was done secreting whatever fluid has just entered you and will pull out? a couple of minutes turn into ten maybe fifteen, the only sound you could hear being the mans pen on his paper.
again you hear the man speak âtest will resume in 3 days, subject and creature will stay linked until birthingâ
you start to cry as you hear him leave, realising youâre stuck there. overstimulated cunt stuffed to the brim with alien sperm, and a huge tentacle between your legs to keep you company till the birth of its offspring. lets hope it doesnât get bored and play with that swollen little bud of yours.
#cl1t torture#cl1t#cl!t torture#cl!t overstim#tentacles#monsterfucking nsft#alien fucking#rapekink#r@pe fantasy#medical kink#medical examination#transmasc#ftm nsft
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Why Didnât You Tell Me?
it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?
warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, drinking/bar scene, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink
wc: 8.8k đ¤
iâm very proud of this one! i hope you love it!
Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.
Donât get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. Thereâs no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.
It doesnât help that itâs an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldnât go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.
All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.
Heâs secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person youâd ever seen. You honestly donât know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you canât stop thinking about him no matter what you do. Youâve tried to get over it; youâve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.
The worst part of it all is that it wasnât always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.
Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didnât understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.
Maybe he didnât deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing youâd ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.
Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldnât have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.
Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasnât abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.
Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.
Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.
âY/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.â
âI really donât think my presence would do any good,â you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. âMe and him havenât been close in a long time, Pen.â
Before you can continue, she cuts in, âEveryone has tried, Y/n. Hell, Iâve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.â
She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, âPlease, Y/n, for me. I canât bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.â
For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. Sheâs the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though youâre sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: youâre shit at keeping secrets.
âOkay, okay, Iâll try.â
She nearly bursts with excitement, âThank God-â
You cut her off before she can finish, âBut Iâm telling you, Iâm not the person he wants to hear from right now. Donât get your hopes up.â
âYes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.â
Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Penâs instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.
âMake sure he eats!â
The walk up to Spencerâs apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.
You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love arenât enough to make you forget why youâve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know itâll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole teamâs approval, youâre sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. Thereâs a sickness in your gut, but itâs not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.
âSpencer? Itâs Y/n.â
Thereâs no response.
âI know you probably donât want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure youâre alright. Can you tell me youâre alright?â
Again, nothing.
You know heâs there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.
You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.
âThereâs a lot I donât know about you now, and I wonât pretend to know what youâre feeling.â
You donât exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.
âI know youâre in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know youâre hurting. You shouldnât- I donât want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but Iâm coming in one way or the other. You know I will.â
You wouldnât, actually. Itâs a last-ditch effort, and itâs met with the same silence youâve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. Youâre about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.
Thereâs no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you mightâve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.
âSpencer,â you call out to him.
You donât see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.
Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than youâve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like youâre trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.
His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.
You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesnât pull away.
âSpence, Iâm so glad you opened the door.â
You didnât plan out what you would say, but âsorryâ feels redundant and useless.
You go on, âIâm here. I- I donât know what to do or say, and Iâm sorry that I donât. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and Iâll do it.â
You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesnât come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.
He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. Theyâre bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.
âStay. Please. I just- I need to know Iâm not dreaming. I keep thinking Iâm dreaming.â
His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but itâs so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.
You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.
Eventually, you speak again, âIâm gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.â
He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise youâll be as fast as possible.
His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope heâs been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.
You return with the bowl. Spencer hasnât moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.
âItâs not fine dining.â
He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.
âYou did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.â
You smile at his recollection.
âIt helped you then.â
The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that youâre there and that you wonât leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.
âSpencer, itâs too late to still be awake.â
He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.
He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. Youâve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. Itâs all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere thereâs space.
You take in the moment for a beat before saying, âIâm gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. Iâll come back tomorrow.â
This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.
âPlease stay.â
Thatâs all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. Itâs not a good idea, and you know it. Youâre the only person heâs seen in days, you arenât close anymore, and you donât particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.
âSpencer, I donât want to sleep in your living room tonight. Iâll come back.â
He pauses for a moment, âYou can stay here with me. I donât want to be alone.â
Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. Itâs still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesnât really want you there and heâs not himself. But you arenât strong enough to say no, so you donât.
He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what youâre doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.
Though, you canât drown out his voice, saying, âCan- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.â
Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.
~
When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesnât think itâs a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.
Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as itâs helping him in some way, you let it happen.
Thatâs the thing: you donât really know how to help him. You know he isnât the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. Itâs all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.
The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.
The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.
âY/nâŚâ
You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.
âHi, Derek.â
âWhat are you doing, mamas?â
You sigh, âWhat do you mean?â
Youâre playing coy. You know heâs wondering why youâre at Spencerâs house, picking up the pieces, but you wonât be the one to bring it up.
âWhyâd you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?â
Another sigh, âYou know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.â
âI know you do, Y/n, I know.â
He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.
âI know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?â
âI am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.â
âI know you can, but I donât want you to get hurt, Y/n. Donât let this be something that hurts you.â
âIt wonât. I- You have to- Fuck, Iâll be fine. Heâs not fine. I donât care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. Iâll be fine.â
Thereâs another bear of silence, âOkay, Y/n. Just know youâre allowed to tap out.â
You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.
You wonât need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.
The call does make you think itâs time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.
âSpencer?â
He takes a moment and then responds, âYes?â
âYou have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesnât have to be to me but to someone.â
Heâs quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.
âI- I donât want to,â his voice cracks while he says it.
âSpence, you canât come back if you donât. You canât move forward if you donât.â
âMaybe I donât want to.â
A ringing echos in your ears.
âYou donât mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.â
Wrong thing to say.
âYou donât know anything about what she would want.â
Heâs seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you donât stop.
âSpencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.â
He speaks his next line through his teeth, âYou donât know anything, Y/n.â
Youâve never heard him sound so angry.
âSpencer-â
âNo, just stop. You donât know her. You donât know me half as well as you think you do. You donât know anything. I donât even know why youâre here. I donât want you here. You can't be what I need.â
The ringing in your ears is louder.
âSpencer, please. Just-â
âNo!â His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, âI donât want you here. I want you out, Y/n.â
This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You donât know how you are moving, but you are.
His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe heâs still talking, but you canât tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.
~
You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesnât work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you canât stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.
Spencer doesnât call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and itâs the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.
You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and youâre nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope youâll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.
You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you arenât actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. Youâre supposed to be with him. Youâre supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you arenât.
You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesnât, so you follow the feeling.
Your breath catches in your throat; itâs Spencer. Heâs sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesnât look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You donât look up again until you reach Hotchâs office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.
âIâm back if thatâs okay.â
He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.
âAre you okay with that, Y/l/n?â
You lock eyes with him, âYes, sir.â
Itâs no use; he knows your tells and you arenât being honest.
âAlright, conference room in five.â
Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but thereâs a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows youâd never let something like this affect your work.
~
The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You donât speak to Spencer through all of it. Youâre never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You donât even speak at Straussâ funeral. Itâs radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.
In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You donât go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. Itâs stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.
Penelopeâs insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.
âY/n, please come. I know you arenât going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.â
You sigh, âWhose going, Pen?â
âThe team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.â
âI donât think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. Iâll help you set up, just please donât make me go.â
Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.
âWe miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. Youâve been living this stupid, isolated life, and itâs time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. Youâre coming, and thatâs final.â
Maybe you donât have the energy to argue, or maybe you know sheâs right, but you agree to go.
~
The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Penâs beautiful home) with a man you havenât spoken to in weeks.
You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you canât help but feel this is the most beautiful thing youâve been a part of in a long time.
The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and itâs Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt itâs palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.
âHow you doing, kid?â His voice is soft like heâs speaking to a scared rabbit.
âIâm better,â you say, and itâs about as honest as you can get. As much as youâd like to think he knows nothing about whatâs gone on, youâre smarter than that. Heâs the best profiler on the team, and heâs always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you arenât quite good, and you know he believes you.
Thereâs some idle conversation between you before he asks, âDo you want to talk about it?â
âNot tonight. I donât know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.â
Itâs good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.
Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, âSometimes we think weâve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they donât want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.â
You donât quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.
Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then itâs your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadnât talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.
âI was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.â
Thatâs all you say, but itâs enough for you, and it would be enough for her.
Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.
The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.
You make it down Garciaâs porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and itâs Spencerâs face you see.
âWould you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?â
~
The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. Youâre incredibly anxious, but at least you know youâll be let in this time.
The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelopeâs, so he rode with you. It wasnât necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasnât the place to begin your conversation.
Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, itâs one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know itâs because youâre scared youâll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.
He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.
His first words are airy and light, âThank you for letting me talk to you.â
You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.
Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, âI feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever Iâm around you recently.â
He pauses momentarily before going on, âIâm so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. Iâve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.â
You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you canât get there before heâs off again.
âIâm not sure how to talk to you anymore. I donât think Iâve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.â
He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, âThat wasnât me, and that isnât how I feel. Iâm just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.â
He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.
âI know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didnât mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.â
âIâm so sorry. Iâm unbelievably sorry.â
âYou didnât talk to me for months, Spencer. I just donât understand. I donât understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.â
Heâs silent for a long minute.
âI never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldnât talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didnât want me to speak to you, so I didnât. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.â
Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.
âI donât understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?â
Thereâs desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe youâre a stranger to everyone right now.
âI uh, I donât really know.â
âThat's not fair, Spence.â
Youâre crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.
You wipe your face, âThank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I donât understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I donât think I ever will.â
âY/n-,â he calls out your name like a prayer.
âItâs okay, Spence. You donât have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.â
âIâm so sorry, Y/n.â
You smile sadly as you get up to leave.
âI am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.â
You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.
~
Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesnât hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you wonât hurt anymore.
Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.
Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.
JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to âget back out thereâ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You arenât interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.
Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.
âY/n, you have to talk about it.â
Youâre still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, âWhat?â
âYou know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.â
âBabygirl-,â Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.
âNo, itâs okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time Iâll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.â
You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.
âAfter your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I donât really understand what he said or what he meant, but I canât be sad about him forever.â
Pen perks up a bit at that, âI knew that party would bring good things!â
You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, âWhat did he say?â
The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they donât see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.
âHe just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didnât know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didnât matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.â
JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, âOh, Y/n.â
âWhat?â
After a beat, Derek says, âHe didnât just not know how to act around you.â
Now you're confused, âWhat do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didnât know why. I mean, he knows everything and didnât know why he didnât want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.â
You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.
âY/n, he probably doesnât really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.â
âStop being cryptic.â
Derek sighs but goes on, âPretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didnât think youâd ever feel the same.â
âNo. That's not true.â
You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.
âHe loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesnât make any sense.â
It's JJâs turn to talk now.
âHe definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldnât be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.â
Your mind is moving a mile a minute, âDid he tell you guys this?â
Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, âHe didnât have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.â
âGuys, I appreciate whatever youâre trying to do, but this isnât real. Spencer doesnât- this is not real.â
âY/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.â
You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, âYou can't be what I needâ; not âyou arenât,â but âyou canât.â
Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you canât do anything to stop it.
âY/n?â
JJâs voice snaps you out of your spiral.
âJust go talk to him.â
You nod mutely, and you get up.
~
Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencerâs door.
This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you donât quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you arenât sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide youâll come back another day, his door swings open.
âY/n?â
His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.
âWhat are you doing here?â
You donât answer, âWhy did you open the door?â
He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, âI heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.â He cuts himself off there, âY/n, why are you here?â
You didnât pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.
âDo you love me?â
That is not what you wanted to say.
His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, âWhat?â
âOr I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I canât think about anything else, Spencer.â
He doesnât speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.
âI just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now itâs all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didnât think Iâd feel the same way.â
Here, you do pause, but he still doesnât say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.
âBecause if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.â
He sounds resigned when he says, âY/n,â and you feel like you know what that means.
âFuck, Iâm sorry. I donât know why I'm doing this. You donât have to say anything. Actually, please donât say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-â
He cuts off your ramble, âY/n, stop.â
You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesnât say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what heâs doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like heâs giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you wonât, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.
His lips move against yours, and you donât know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, youâre breathless.
His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, âI do, Y/n, love you. I have.â
You donât feel the tears on your cheeks until heâs wiping them away.
âOh, Y/n.â
âDid you know? That you did? Is that whyâŚâ
You trail off, hoping heâll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.
âI didnât at first, or I didnât realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didnât realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.â
âAnd Maeve?â
âI loved Maeve. Iâll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.â
âYouâre telling me now. That's enough.â
This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. Youâre just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.
This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.
Your lips break from his for a moment, âWhat do you want, Spence?â
His reply is instant, âYou.â
From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.
You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.
His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, âCan I touch you?â
âPlease.â
His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you canât seem to care.
After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. Heâs relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.
âYouâre so beautiful, Y/n.â
It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.
He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.
âSo pretty like this. Iâm so lucky.â
Youâre embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.
âWe donât have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.â
âI want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.â
âOf course I do. I just donât want you to regret anything.â
âI couldnât regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.â
It's the first time youâve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.
âI love you, too. God, so much.â
With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.
âDo you have a condom?â
âI might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and Iâm clean. I can try to find one if youâre more comfortable with that?â
âIUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.â
You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, âI want to feel you, Spencer.â
He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. Heâs big, and you feel unbelievably full.
He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesnât want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you donât think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg heâs not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.
âSpencer, please.â
Youâre crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.
âWhat do you need, baby?â His voice is tight like heâs not far himself, and it sounds better than anything youâve ever heard.
âHarder. Please, harder.â
He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. Heâs fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.
After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You canât warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.
He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.
He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.
Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, âI love you.â
It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. Itâs like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesnât actually love you after all.
That shoe doesnât drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.
You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. Heâs looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.
âWill you let me clean you up?â
You know that part of the reason heâs asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.
Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he wonât push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.
~
The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.
How did it go????
You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldnât have gone better.
-
all done! yay!!!
i hope you guys love it!! iâm not 100% happy with the ending but iâve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.
this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#fic rec#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfiction#fanfiction#friends to lovers#friends to enemies to lovers#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic rec
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Back To You

Valentina finds a way to control Bob and The Sentry: His wife.
Warnings: addiction (bc, yk, Sentry), thunderbolts spoilers, canon divergence
A sense of foreboding filled her as she stepped into the elevator. The message had been cryptic, but the reward was too good to be true.
The lack of elevator music had the bad feeling in her stomach intensifying. As it travelled up, she checked the message on her phone again. It was the right building in the right city, in the right State.
Part of her couldn't believe it was this building. When her husband first went missing, she didn't believe he would end up here.
Months of searching had led to this moment. He had been clean on her wedding day, all thanks to her support. Cooking him healthy, nutritious meals, taking him on walks.
There were good nights and there were bad nights. A lot of bad nights. Nights were he wasn't her husband, he became someone else. Someone she didn't know.
But she was still there, holding his hand, stroking her fingers over his palm. Bringing him back to himself, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his lips.
But then, one day, after what felt like weeks of bad days, he disappeared. No word, nothing. He just... left, giving her no clue as to where he was going.
But she searched. She searched and searched, turning up nothing. Nobody knew where her husband, the man she loved so dearly, was. Nights spent crying herself to sleep, trying not to go down the same path he did. It would have been so easy to slip, to put herself into his mindset, all for the sake of finding him.
The only thing keeping her hope alive all of these months was the fact that a body was never found.
But then she got this message. The address. He's here. There was only one He it could be, only one He she cared about.
The elevator doors didn't ding before they opened. They just slid open. There was nothing remarkable about it.
Funny, she thought this moment would be something... more.
People, laying on the floor. Some had blood, some had bruises. All of them had the shit beaten out of them.
Wide eyed, she looked from person to person. Why had she been brought her, forced to witness the aftermath of all of this violence.
But then, she looked up.
His hair was longer, blonde, too. The suit was flashy, to say the least. But it was him. It was her Bob.
Before she knew what she was doing, she was running towards him. "Bobby," she said through a gasp as he threw someone to the side like they weighed nothing
It was him. It was her Bob. The same eyes, blue as the deepest ocean, lighting up the moment he saw her.
Nothing else in the world seemed to matter to him. He called her name, a quiet desperation in his voice. When she threw herself at him, he caught her easily.
Eyes closed, Bob wrapped both arms around her. He held her as close as he possibly could and breathed in. Her, it was all her. Her ring was still on her finger, a perfect symbol of what their marriage should have been. His was long gone, pawned off for drug money. God, he had been such an idiot back then.
But, fuck, that didn't matter to her.
She pulled away from him, looked at his face. "You've gone blonde, Bobby," she whispered as she took him in.
There was something so sweet about the way he laughed. His eyes searched her face, as if he couldn't believe she was real, she was really there.
"I looked for you," she said as she settled her hand on his chest. "Everywhere, Bobby. Where did you go?"
"'m sorry," he whispered. "I was tryina get better so that I could come home to you. I don't know what happened after that."
Finally, she looked around. The people on the floor, with the shit beaten out of them, were gone, disappeared into the elevator while Bob was distracted with her.
Her hand touched his cheek, just holding. Soft, familiar hands against his cheek were exactly what he needed, a sweet, gentle touch to heal him. "Doesn't matter," she mumbled. "I found you."
She kissed him, the ground disappearing from beneath her feet as Bob lifted her up. He didn't mean to, maybe it was a sign his control was slipping.
When they touched back down and pulled away from each other, Bob frowned. "How did you find me?" He asked.
She scrambled to pull her phone from her pocket. "I got a text telling me where to find you," she said.
His arm dropped to her waist as he pulled her against him. His way of keeping her safe. "You brought her here?" He asked Valentina.
Valentina looked behind the couple, at Mel. Of course this was her doing, her genius plan. What better way to control the power of Sentry than with his wife?
"I did," Valentina said, nodding her head.
Bob reached out for her hand. He gasped it and shook, thanking her over and over again.
But then his attention turned back to his wife. This was where she belonged, by his side. Not in The old avengers tower, but in the apartment they shared.
His job at The chicken place barely paid for anything, and her office job wasn't doing much more. But that was their home.
When Valentina ordered him to kill the others, Bob refused. Why should he, when they were no threat to him? Besides, he had something much more important by his side.
"C'mon, Robert," Valentina said. Her fingers danced across his wife's shoulders before she gripped her arm and pulled her back. She moved too fast for Bob, even with all of the power he had.
But he couldn't risk hurting his wife.
Valentina had found his weak spot and exploited it. For the safety of his wife, Bob would do anything.
#robert reynolds#robert reynolds imagine#robert reynolds x reader#robert reynolds x you#robert reynolds fluff#bob reynolds#bob reynolds imagines#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds x you#bob reynolds fluff#thunderbolts#thunderbolts imagine#thunderbolts spoilers#tbolts spoilers#mcu#marvel#mcu imagine#marvel imagine#thunderbolts x reader
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Echo canonically being sentimental (and a sweetheart)









With his armor, there's also the "For Hevy" memorial, the fact he kept Rex's handprint, and that he put the Bad Batch skull on his armor before he even joined them
Echo holding 99 as he died has always stuck out to me as one of the saddest/sweetest things in TCW (especially since the show rarely actually shows clones mourning/expressing much emotion)
I also noticed that Echo is often the one to mention his brothers by name, and make sure they're remembered. And of course his entire thing about saving his brothers and leaving no one behind. (Also that he turned the call signs into this like nickname/inside joke thing with Omega is so adorable to me ahh)
--
And then there's whatever this is:
Not even a reaction to the name (and we know they are good at implying expression under those helmets)! I know this is old news but it bears saying lol. They had the perfect opportunity here to not only address Echo's loss, but also to honor Fives and the sacrifice he made to discover the chips. A sacrifice which saved Ahsoka, Rex, and now the Bad Batch. This is obviously not the first time Echo and Rex talked about Fives, he knows he's dead (I firmly believe he would not have left the 501st if Fives was still alive), but come on! This did the bare minimum to check the box of 'mention Fives.' How about you cut Wrecker getting attacked by a sarlacc or whatever and give that screen time to show us an actual conversation?
Like I found this bit in an interview:
While the conversation obviously never happened onscreen, Corbett says that doesn't mean it never happened, suggesting the two talked offscreen, saying "For Fives, I imagine that Rex and Echo had that conversation after he was rescued off of Skako Minor, and I know in Season 1 we did have Rex reference Fives on Bracca," adding "So, in my headcanon, they've had many conversations about Fives."
And I'm just like... Jennifer! You don't have to have headcanons, you are literally the writer! Show us!!
(Also he should have gotten his handprint again no I will never let this go)
#grumpy cyborg has such a big heart i love him sm#he just cares so much!#lol not me realizing it's echo day and scrambling to finish this post instead of doing my hw#my strange need to spread out my echo/tbb posts be damned#tbb echo#arc trooper echo#gifset#compilation#the bad batch#tcw#domino squad#arc trooper fives#captain rex#clone trooper hevy#clone trooper cutup#tbb hunter#tbb omega#tbb emerie#tbb tech#clone trooper 99#anakin skywalker#there's so many other cute moments between him and omega but this post is long enough#mild critique at the end there lol
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So like, just asking cause new costume and all and well, Danny is a teen so like... It is magical girl transformation??? there's an art floating in tumbler about Jason doing it only to use a gun(Really fun, I love that) so, can Danny have a turn ... It could also be a good idea for a reveal, like, Jason presenting Danny in his civilian glory (Do the Batfam knows Danny's persona? I've binge your work multiple times and it was not addressed???) only to transform.... Love you,sleep well, good night
Hehe can you tell which pilot I just watchedďżź
Tim watching with Jason : âŚI would kill and die for your son.
Jason: good, you will. He has MANY enemies
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
âDo the Batfam know Dannyâs personaâ
Great question!! So Crack meeting the batfam was the first time they met Danny or Phantom (yes that means Danny met the goons before the batfam). So in the origin itâs explained that Jason thought Danny would leave after they took out the GIW (boy was he wrong lol) so he didnât want the batfam to met Danny and then never leave him alone (or steal him).
Hide @ dicks apartment is actually how Dick meets cilivan Danny and Jazz!(though heâs not sure if he didnât just hallucinate the whole thing). Everyone else finds out between then and you canât bench me. Bruce will be the last to know bc Jason is actively fucking with him and we know Jay can plan a dramatic identity reveal. But honestly I think the slow powers revel is funnier. Like we all know that bats can uncover IDs fast, but nobody knows all of Dannyâs power least of all Danny himself.
I do in fact have a plan/some what of an outline for Dannyâs identity being revealed to the Joker.
Thereâll be a vote after the batburgers saga if you guys want to see the Slade or the Joker idea first
Hate me, wake unwell, bad morning
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Masterlist
#art#art stuff#fanart#animation#danny phantom#danny fenton#danny phantom fanart#dc fanart#dc#dc x dp#damian wayne#damian robin#robin dc#tim drake#dc jason todd#jason todd#damian al ghul#damian wayne fanart
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