#but the experience is... meh ? like there's maybe 2-3 bits that are really fun otherwise it's just get from point a to point b

[gender-euphowrya]

brother a tale of two sons was such a nothingburger game i can't believe it got a remake

[blood-gulch]

grace blood-gulch's s14 episode ranking list because i am so special and have lots of thoughts on every episode ever :)

Tier 1 - legitimately good quality content i recommend viewing

Room Zero - as someone who was personally Waiting those multiple years to see that rvb animated episode be finished i was so excited by this one. also i just love the animation + attention to character details in the og one. even though it doesnt really add much to that original base, newer fans should watch it to appreciate the animation cuz its cute. especially fond of every character detail moment like church running backward and using his hand to slide or the earliest iteration of grif being canonically animated as fat. idk i love it a lot and i think its p cute and well worth the watch. it's also the first episodically which is neat. good opener for s14.

The Brick Gulch Chronicles - look its stop motion lego and its cute as fuuuuuuck. the plot being sarges bday is adorable. literally awesome.

Fight the Good Fight - okay i just find it cute and quirky and generally enjoyed watching it quite a bit :) it made me laugh. the [Red] team gag was good. it reminded me of the similar gag from the simpsons in the kamp krusty episode. my dad always makes jokes about that specific gag so ahh. definitely worth the watch but understandable to skip.

Caboose's Guide to Making Friends - its just really fucking cute idfk

Head Cannon - This one's just really funny and also adds on to a scene that already was fun in a good way. Enjoyable. Highly recommended.

Get Bent - I wish sarge was still an old woman but dykenut and church bisexuality balances it out. i also wish we had female tucker. it makes me sad we didnt get female tucker.

Red vs. Blue the Musical - The reds' song is about weapons and the blues' song is about church killing himself. 10/10. no notes. perfect summation of rvb in like 10 minutes.

Mr. Red vs Mr. Blue - genuinely delightful like a distilled everything i like about tucker. he's really fun here. also sister is fun here.

The Triplets & The "Mission" - The triplets own hard. the scene with wash connie and south at the end always makes me smile. ohio girl youre fucking crazy but youre everything. I love you.

Tier 2 - Decent content. You can skip but still somewhat worth ur time.

From Stumbled Beginnings and Why They're Here - Mostly fun. Asterisk mostly. There's an episode between these two that's technically an episode trilogy you should skip. Otherwise is pretty fun.

The #1 Movie in the Galaxy: 3 - This is silly and fun. I enjoyed it. It's also short.

Meta vs Carolina: Dawn of Awesome - look man its a death battle. if you like death battle youll have fun. if you hate death battle you can skip it. shoutout sarge deadbeat dad implications though. i cant even be mad its just not the character id expect them to do that to...

Grey vs Gray - i found it fun :) nothing stand out tho. skippable but not egregiously bad.

Immersion: The Warthog Flip - Look if you Like seeing science stuff yeah its a good watch. if you dont like that you can skip it. I like the math and science though. you don't lose anything in skipping though.

Tier 3 - Meh

Orange is the New Red & Invaders from Another Mother - theyre not bad but aged... poorly. i thought they were funny when i was younger but i watched funhaus actively then. i dont know how this would fare to a non-FH fan. Desert Dance [Spins]

Red vs. Blue vs. Roosterteeth - I KNOWWWWW THERES A LOT OF NOSTALGIA its just .... not very funny. its creators meeting their characters but its also odd in a strange way. you can watch it if youre curious enough. i liked the end voice over of s14 a lot tho so like maybe watch it and if youre bored skip to the end lol

Tier 4 - Drink a lot or watch with friends to experience enjoyment

Club, Call, & Consequences - look man the only way youre enjoying this is if you are a hardcore lolix guy or you are wasted out of your mindddd. im sorry who the fuck is siris. i honest to god thought siris was a bit as a joke on the whole thing of "grif simmons and hammer" from earlier. they never even mention siris again. who the fuck is siris. i felt like i was like lied to or something . sorry siris is so fucking funny. well he didnt have a personality but thats ok. i dont know if he actually exists.

RvB Throwdown - Get Miles Luna out of the booth. never let him rap again.

Tier 5 - Bad. Skip it.

Fifty Shades of Red - Fifty Shades of Red has possibly one of the worst jokes in the series that immediately assassinates Tucker into a pretty fucking awful light and retroactively ruins his character for the preceding 13 seasons. I honestly recommend skipping Fifty Shades of Red to avoid that one tucker joke. its not necessary and contributes nothing. The rest of the episode is fine and on the level of stumbled beginnings & why theyre here. but god that one joke is so bad i can't in good faith recommend it. it just leaves me fuming LOL i could write an essay as it being the origin point of post s13 writers room tucker hate where they start trying to make him an irredeemable asshole & dont understand his whole deal for the rest of the series.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 29: Pandemic Premiere

We are back! Things are looking real different. New host. New judge. New ballroom. Two new pros. It’s was an interesting night with so many couples. So let’s get into it.

AJ and Cheryl- Jive (Score=18)- This was such a great opener for the season. I didn’t even realize that there was no big audience there (there was some crowd up in the rafters). AJ and Cheryl’s energy was so explosive and what was needed to make up for the lack of an audience. AJ was on time. And he kept up super well with a difficult routine. A couple of things. First off, Derek was a perfect judge and was able to pick out one specific thing from each couple that they needed to work on. And I agreed with all of it. AJ’s feet need to be pointed and he needed more bounce for the jive. 

Chrishell and Gleb- Tango (Score=13)- While I don’t think this dance was necessarily terrible, it was definitely one of the weaker dances of the night. Chrishell’s posture was not strong at all. And in a dance like the tango, that is so important. She also seems to be a bit stiff. It wasn’t as much of a problem tonight, but it will be if Gleb doesn’t work on that with her. She is having a good though and I like that positive light that she radiates. Chrishell has tons of potential and I just hope Gleb actually tries this season and doesn’t check out like he typically does when he has to really work.

Vernon and Peta- Foxtrot (Score=17)- First of all, Vernon has such a pretty smile. As for the dance, it was really good. Like Derek said, he needs to pay more attention to his arms. They kinda were just there. I also feel like he can let go some more and just really go for it. I’m not gonna harp too much on that because it was the first week and everybody is nervous. But it is something I noticed and it might be his biggest obstacle moving forward.

Anne and Keo- Cha-cha (Score=18)- This was the first shock of the season for me. I was intrigued by Anne mostly because she seemed like such a wild card in the preseason. People were underestimating her but as time went on, I started to feel like she might actually be a decent dancer. And tonight, she was way better than I expected. She was on time and her technique was really crisp and precise. And she was just so much fun! I do believe that she needs to loosen up a little more and get those hips moving. But otherwise, this is definitely a couple to watch out for. They have the ability to go all the way for sure.

Jeannie and Brandon- Salsa (Score=18)- Brandon looked really good in that lime green. That color really complements his skin tone. Okay so Jeannie was better than I expected too. Y’all know I love when people are real grounded in Latin dances (not the jive). There’s a different kind of power that you have when you drive through the floor versus dancing on top of the floor (I’ll get to that a little later). And Jeannie was really driving through the floor. There were some chaotic moments where things almost went awry. But it’s easier to rein in excess energy than it is to try and pull more energy out of someone. I think this dance could have gotten at least one 7, but an 18 is still good.

Jesse and Sharna- Quickstep (Score=18)- This dance was slightly overscored. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think it was in the same league as the other 18s. His shoulders were too high and his movements were a little stiff and jerky. However, I was impressed with his timing and his partnering skills. That will come in handy as the weeks go on.

Skai and Alan- Tango (Score=21)- Super Bass for a tango is awful. I was talking with @forevertrueblue and we talked about how this would be a great song for a freestyle. Not a tango. Now that that’s out the way, this was the second surprise for me. Now I know you may be asking why. Well, I’ll tell you. I typically don’t think of Disney kids to be as technically sound as Skai was. That was the technique that I expect from a gymnast. I saw shades of Simone Biles/Shawn Johnson/Nastia Liukin in that dance. That split and her lines, especially with her legs, were gorgeous. Now I agree with both Derek and CAI here. Skai’s legs weren’t as bent as they needed to be. However, considering the height difference (I knew it would be a problem), I understood that for this week, something had to give to make it work until they find a way to keep the technique and still have Skai reach Alan. 

Kaitlyn and Artem- Cha-cha (Score=20)- So remember how I was talking about the difference between dancing on top of the floor and dancing through the floor? Yeah, this was what I meant by dancing on top of it. What Kaitlyn did was good. But it left me wanting more. She dances very pretty just like Hannah and Melissa Rycroft (why is this a Bachelorette thing). But it’s just soft and not impactful.

Nev and Jenna- Foxtrot (Score=20)- Okay. So this dance was actually pretty good. Nev was awkward, but just the right amount of awkward that made it charming. He is definitely a competent dancer and might be the dark horse this season. As Derek said, he stuck his butt so far out that I’m surprised that he wasn’t lagging behind the music. That definitely needs to be tucked back under. With all of that said, I’m nervous for how his Latin dances are going to look. He strikes me as someone who is great at ballroom and very meh with Latin. He might surprise me again though, so who knows.

Johnny and Britt- Cha-cha (Score=18)- I am so glad that Britt is a pro this season and that she lucked out and got Johnny. I’m thinking this will be a great season for them. Now while I do think this dance was underscored by 2 points, I also saw some issues. Johnny did get in his head once the actual cha cha started. You could tell by the difference in how he attacked the moves at the beginning versus the middle and end. He was a little more hesitant. Also, there were a few times that Johnny’s legs got too far away from him. It didn’t really hinder him, but it was something I noticed. It might be a habit from figure skating.

Justina and Sasha- Cha-cha (Score=21)- You all were right to hype up Justina the way that you did. She was amazing. The energy was high, she had really great technique and she was just so much fun.

Charles and Emma- Salsa (Score=12)- Whew. Okay so first Charles had fun. At least we can say that and that he looks like he wants to be there. He also did a great job with the lifts. Now the dance was a struggle. He got behind the music and his technique was just not good. I hope he can come back next week with a much better dance. I hope he gets a ballroom dance like a foxtrot.

Monica and Val- Foxtrot (Score=19)- This was a very pretty dance. As the music swelled, she got better and more comfortable. Her turns need some more work and I would like for her hands to pay more attention to her hands and making sure the energy continues through them for the whole dance. With that said, I think Monica is in an interesting spot. I liked her dance and I think she’s a pretty good dancer. I think she’s going to start getting lost in the shuffle as the weeks go on if Val doesn’t take it up a notch. I think she’s safe for now. B weeks 3, 4 and 5 could spell trouble. I especially think this because we are for sure going to have at least 2 double eliminations and that’s what dancers like Monica tend to get swept up in.

Nelly and Daniella- Salsa (Score=16)- I really liked this dance. I actually thought Nelly was not going to embrace the experience as much as he should. And on top of that, I was thinking he was just going to be too scared to move and maybe look ridiculous. But he really embraced it. And I’m happy about that. The shoes definitely got in the way and made his footwork more clunky than they would have been. But I honestly feel like that was probably a creative choice and not Nelly pulling a Master P. He can dance and his technique was decent. My one critique, besides the shoes, is that he throws his arms away. But otherwise, it was a competent dance and I was shocked by that backflip. Also hate that they used this song for a salsa.

Carole and Pasha- Paso Doble (Score=11)- Ummm. Well this was hard to watch. Everything from the package, to the dance, to her non-interaction with Tyra was cringeworthy. But at least she had fun.

So that’s it. Derek was a great addition to the judges’ table. Tyra was nowhere near as bad as people were expecting her to be. This is a pretty good group of celebs. And with the year that 2020 has been, I think everyone just wants to have a good time. I don’t really see egos or anything this time around. As for next week’s elimination, I think Charles, Monica, Carole and Chrishell need to be worried. With that said, let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon!

[bean-n-shroob]

The Origami King Review/Opinion

(I sorta hate that it has the word The in it cause when I did impressions or this review, it sounds strangely official)

I’m gonna review but if people don’t want spoilers here’s some Pros and Cons that I felt

Pros:

+ Music is fantastic! I love how the battle theme changes with every area/sub-area you go to.

+ Writing is good, it gets you invested in enough to sorta care. Humor is top notch as expected!

+ Olivia is a sweetheart! I love her so much and how she’s so marveled by everything.

+ Boss Battles are fun to figure and deal with.

+ Finding Toads is actually kinda fun, I enjoy figuring out where they’re hidden

+ Badge system is intriguing if not a bit clunkly put together (sorry, this is suppose to be Pros)

Cons:

- Regular Battles get old quick if puzzles aren’t really your thing and its a bit too easy to just not depend on the coins, thus making them pointless.

- Story sorta flops, it starts strong but then just sorta fizzles and all we got left is... fun experiences (I know this sounds like a Con, but while the experiences are fun, it is disappointing the story sorta flops hard)

- Character Design is very meh. The most well written character can’t save it from its extremely generic design

- But also Olly is not... that well written... so...

- Partners and Vellumentals are kinda under utilized to a disappointing degree (baby steps, baby steps ugh)

Anywho, that’s all my feelings (that I can remember and feel I can say without spoilers)

6.5/10 (I’ll explain the scoring under the cut)

Spoilers Under Cut

Hello and welcome to the Spoiler Bits of this Review/Opinion

Buckle in, this is a long one

Now y’all may be a bit curious as to why, with so much big things (music/writing/bosses/Olivia) being good and so little being bad, why a 6.5/10?

Well, I felt a 7 was too generous and would make people think “Oh, its good!” but a 6 is like “Eh... its mediocre” and a 6.5 is more like a “Its Good, But” and I feel that But is important! I know how this may sound, but TOK could’ve been WAY better and Chapter 2 was an example of how good this game could’ve been!

You know how people always bring up Huey, or the “Morton Leston” joke, or the “I would do things that would raise this game’s rating” line as examples as why Color Splash is actually really good and we’re all in denial?

I feel Chapter 2 will be that for TOK and its all because of Bobby! I like Bobby, I like Bobby a lot! I wish he stuck around! I loved how he and Olivia interacted together and how they formed a bond!

But

I sorta hated how overall useless he was to the action and adventuring. He’s the most useless partner that somehow leaves a deep impression on the player!

He leaves such a deep impression that I don’t think anyone noticed how badly written Professor Toad was! He was such a let down as a follow up to Bobby! And worst of all, he was like way more useful than Bobby! He can dig holes, he can wipe out a whole role of enemies, he has a function outside of battle and story.

Seeing how useful Professor Toad was, sorta put into perspective Bobby and his eventual sacrifice to save Olivia (I told ya this was spoilers). He just dies, in a shockingly emotional moment, giving a speech about how Bomb-Ombs live relatively short lives and are always trying to make the most of it.

Wow... I really wish Chapter 6 didn’t have a segment where you were half hazardly shooting bomb-ombs out of a cannon, cause otherwise, this could’ve been way more impactful!

But it also made it seem like "we can't make Bobby too useful, he's gonna die. So just keep him extremely simple and useless in every other aspect of the adventure, besides story."

I don’t get how TOK started out so strong! The intro and Chapter 1 introduced us to the basic loop how what we’d have to do and how stuff will play out and Chapter 2 took that and showed us how far we could go with this loop and how involved the world will be with this loop!

Only for Chapter 3 to just give up on everything and give us 1 expansive dessert to explore, a very one note partner who doesn’t leave a lasting impression, a boring quest of solving an ancient riddle and a very annoying boss dungeon segment that went on longer than it should’ve! And above all else, a very half-assed excuse for why he won’t be joining your journey! Especially since Chapter 4 doesn’t have a partner!

Chapter 4 feels like an overly-long intermission of Mario n Olivia’s adventure to Chapter 5. Legit the purple streamer of 4 could’ve been the green streamer of 5 and it would only flow just a little bit less smoothly. Chapter 4 has this weird send off to the Vellumentals, with the boss dungeon being a mixture of the last 4 Vellumental chambers you’ve explored. Which feels out of place especially since there’s like 2 more chapters of stuff happening afterwards! And like a thunder elemental like boss fight in 5 but I guess they just couldn’t be bothered to create a Thunder Vellumental fight to tack onto the story and just gave it to this Origami Sumo Bro! Okay!

And then the Bowser Castle segment is right when they decide to get creative with enemy encounters, but only 2 enemy encounters (you can fight these two multiple time if you’re neither a chicken nor annoyed with the battle ring system) but then just stop right after cause Scissor makes cut out soldiers was the only excuse why that happened.

Again... I like TOK, I do. If I didn't, I'd rate it a 4 or 5 outta 10. I'll talk about the good, I will, but lemme just rant about 1 thing first! Its actually 2 rants but its gonna be about 1 topic I'm rather passionate about.

Character Design

I hate how generic the Legion of Stationery are! Once again, Chapter 2 wins by giving Rubber Band a very unique design, but everyone else is so generic looking! Remember how I said the personalities couldn't save them from their generic design? The Legion have such fun personalities, its so tacky and fun! But I cannot get over how it contrasts with the fact I'm staring at an object hoping in place or wiggling or jiggling as they talk! It kinda sucks, honestly!

I wish these guys had more creativity behind them, and truth be told it wouldn't have bothered me had Rubber Band not been an outlier! Why them and not everyone else! Its baffling!

But above all else, the worst offender, is the Origami Craftsman! The dude who folded Olly! Is a TOAD! That's it! A toad in an apron! WHY

And I get it, there's story reason behind it! Olly wants all Toads gone cause they all look alike and thus everyone reminds him of the Craftsman who wrote (a very touching message) on him!

And that SUCKS!

(uh oh, i forgot about Olly and his terrible terrible motive to be evil)

Speaking of Olly! Remember when I said he wasn't well written? Well besides being an evil prick who enjoys messing with the heroes (i dont mind that, evil just to be evil is fine), it sorta randomly just comes up that he hates Toads near the end! It just comes up!

And I THINK it was suppose to be hinted at by the fact all the Toads gets attacked and folded by Paper Macho and Folded Soldiers. But my problem with this is:

1. Would they have been daring as making Folded Toads as enemies? Thus the lack of Folded Toad enemies should've hinted at this

2. The enemies were origami version of Mario enemies! So enemies still being enemies but folded would've just strengthen the fact we'd be fighting bowser minions again, making the previous Toad hint moot.

3. Toads have always been in peril in previous PM games so the fact they're in peril again wouldn't have been a point of interest!

I GUESS the fact Folded Peach specifically asks whether Toads should be silenced could've hinted at this, but people just took it as "hah lol Toads annoying" and not "oh, this villain has a thing against toads~". Its just, who else would the villain have pointed out? There's only Toads here! Maybe if there was a bigger variety of npcs and we saw other npcs either becomes folded soldiers or be spared from the folded attack, we could've wondered "hey, why are only the toads getting stuck in places?"

But we don't!

Anyways, huff! Lemme count all the good, spoilery things in the game (that's not in Chapter 2) to end on a good note

I love how Olivia is so sweet, no one could bring themselves to be mean to her (except Olly), even Kamek has a hard time being mean cause she's so bubbly and caring (except for that weird bit in the forest where Kamek had to be all rivalry about it but I digress)

Bowser backtalking Olly was very funny, I loved it a lot!

The fact Olivia asks Olly to come to his senses before Mario smashed his face with the Olivia hammer (i need to specify this cause otherwise it'll look like Mario interrupted this scene with a hammer smash but no, Olivia fully knew her hammer weight was gonna fall on Olly's face and just gave some last words of pleas before not even letting him respond) I loved that.

I liked how sweet Olivia was to Luigi despite how much he kept screwing up (i forgot to rant about that but tl;dr, he's a bit of a buffoon and its a bit annoying) i thought it was very touching how Olivia kept rooting for him regardless.

The Tape talking like a Gangster was actually really funny, I liked that a lot.

Bowser's pep talk to Olivia was very funny, it was basically "dont be sad, look at me, my muscles are massive and I can punch through walls!"

As jarring as they were, I actually liked a lot of the singing and dancing that occurred through the game.

Olly having his own color scheme for his Vellumental forms was super cool!

The ending was really touching. Olivia wished for all of Olly's creations to be undone, and because you find out in Chapter 4 that she's also a creation of Olly, she is undone too. And they don't spell that out! You just find out she's not around and connect the dots. I think that was very well done.

And these are some of several reasons I liked TOK and why I couldn't rate it lower than 6. It has a lot of things that just doesn't live up to Chapter 2 and its disappointing to realize halfway through that the game peaked in Chapter 2. Its so weird, they showed us how good it can be and then never lives up to the expectationd set by Chapter 2. I wish it did

Thats why I rate it a 6.5/10

[hana-bean]

Ayumi Hamasaki Picks:  A Song for ×× era (1998-1999)

I’ll admit, I avoided A Song for ×× like COVID for way, way too long. Her vocals were hard to adapt to if you had only heard her I am... material and beyond. I personally found her voice high and squeaky; seemingly years and miles away from the Ayu I was introduced to at 14 years of age in 2002. There were a few tracks in their remix form I was able to stomach but otherwise, this album was an Ayumi I didn’t care to know. In fact, you’ll notice on most of these tracks I note that I prefer remixes over originals.

Within the last couple of years, I listened to this album in its entirety and ultimately fell in love. I realized now how important this debut is in considering and appreciating where Ayu started. Yes her sound is relatively high-pitched and un-Western, but it’s endearing AF. This album is able to span both sides of various spectrums: fun and sad, innocent and experienced, light-hearted and heartfelt. It exudes such a compelling, youthful perspective of love and heartbreak that I can’t help but empathize with it. Honestly, I don’t think I would feel the same emotions if this album was recorded with a more mature, older voice.

---

Rating system:

☆☆☆☆ Love - play this at my funeral ☆☆☆ Like - skippable, but still good ☆☆ Meh - this does nothing for me ☆ Hate - I’ve only listened to this once just to confirm I hated it (⭒ you might see these little guys pop up from time to time, which represent a half star because I can’t make up my damned mind)

For a couple of tracks I give two different ratings because sometimes a remixed version is better than the original.

---

A Song for ×× album tracks

Track 1: “Prologue” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like It’s a prelude. Not the best or worst, but a good one.

Track 2: “A Song for ××” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love Are you really even an Ayu fan if you don’t like this song? Kidding! But seriously, I think it’s safe to say that this is a very, very important song to Ayumi; if the number of its live performances aren’t an indicator, the drama from even watching one is enough to move you. One of my favorite live performances ever is from her A Museum tour—the a cappella beginning of the first verse and bridge lures you in and forces you to listen, for her only to then blow you away with the booming orchestral intensity of the chorus. GAH! Fuck me up, Ayu!

Her “030213 Session #2 Take” re-recording of it on the A BALLADS compilation album provides a more organic, and arguably more powerful listening experience. Though she is older, you still can hear the strength of her despair. Her loneliness and strong façade hasn’t left, but has only changed and grew up with her.

The “Ferry Corsten Chilled Mix” from her first ayu trance album is also a total vibe. Great remix.

Track 3: “Hana” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like I’d file this one under: “the remixes are better than the original.” I mean the original is still a good listen, but the “dub’s trance remix” and acoustic orchestra version give it more oomph and dimension respectively (both are found on the first ayu-mi-x compilation). The lyrics reflect a fear of the relative unknown, or rather, a fear of growing, only to wilt or get stepped on. And I love how her considerably sad and pensive lyrics are backed with lively arrangements; it’s one of the many things I love about her music.

Track 4: “FRIEND” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love This 👏🏼 song 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 underrated 👏🏼 OMG do I love this song, it’s so fucking wholesome. This track was the one which truly solidified my love for ASf××. Like if this had a music video, I can totally see it popping up on the Disney channel back in the late ‘90s with Ayu dancing at a beach carnival in a pair of Keds or something. Though this song is not devoid of sadness, there is a bit of hope to it, and it’s just simply, super pure. It’s definitely a personal fave. 

Track 5: “FRIEND II” Rating: ☆☆ Meh It’s forgettable... I’m having a hard time trying to remember how it goes. I’m sure if I heard it, I’d be like “Ohhhh yeah!” but my mind is only broken picture links rn.

Okay I’ve listened to it and for some reason I get “Song 4 u” vibes like the very beginning guitar riff sounds like the “S4u” chorus, and even the build to the “FII” chorus is similar, I almost expect “S4u” sung over this. At least she copied herself LOL I mean it’s not a terrible song, but the first FRIEND is the better FRIEND.

Track 6: “poker face” Rating: ☆☆ Meh Yes it’s her first single ev4r so like, it’s all important and shit. But I feel there are better tracks on this album which easily eclipse the song. Though it fits in well with the album as a whole. Perhaps as a single compared to only “FRIEND” it holds its own but honestly, just it being Ayu’s debut song is really the only reason why I even remember it.

Track 7: “Wishing” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like I believe this is the first (and only) slow ballad that pops up on the album, and also believe this was a good foundation laid for the rest of the slow ballads of her career. This song showcases the youth and yearn of her voice very well. Does anyone know if she has even performed this song live?

Track 8: “YOU” Rating: ☆☆ Meh (original); ☆☆☆☆ Love (”Aggressive Mix”) I’ll be real: this original track is boring. Though the “Aggressive Mix” on the first ayu-ro mix album slaps for years and I don’t even really care for Eurobeat. The “FINE MIX” on the ayu-mi-x album is also pretty groovy with that—albeit slow—reggae vibe. I’d argue any remix of this song gives it way more personality and likability. 

Confession time: back when cosplay shows at cons were just like a mishmash of skits planned the day of and walk-ons, I thought about actually doing some kind of one-woman interpretive dance to the “Aggressive Mix.” It never happened so you’re welcome. 

Track 9: “As if...” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like This is just a good bop. I love the fake-out beginning of the slow piano and then: !!!TATOEBA!!!

Also I really appreciate the bass during the verses, like it goes ~BUM BUM~ every four counts and it’s just something nice and subtle which contributes positively to the song.

Track 10: “POWDER SNOW” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like (original); ☆☆☆☆ Love (acoustic orchestra) Three words: acoustic orchestra version. Are y’all seeing the pattern here? But seriously, this song supported by the simplicity of a haunting piano completely changes the mood of this song for the better. I will agree that the original arrangement has a great buildup, but it doesn’t compare to the emotion of the acoustic version.

Also, do any of you fellow old people remember Kazaa? When I was Ayu-curious, I was looking for random songs to download and the acoustic orchestra version of “POWDER SNOW” was one of the first songs I ever downloaded (maybe that plays into my bias). 

Honestly, now that I think about it, it might have been Morpheus at the time...

Track 11: “Trust” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like Also one of the first songs I ever heard from Ayu, so I like it for nostalgic reasons. Otherwise I would have relegated this to the ‘meh’ pile. 

This is one of the first Japanese songs I ever learned to sing, so I gotta give credit to my 14-year-old self.

Track 12: “Depend on you” Rating: ☆⭒ M— (I don’t hate it, but don’t not hate it enough to warrant the full ‘Meh’) This song is overrated :D The only good thing to come from this single is “Two of us.” Next! 

Track 13: SIGNAL Rating: ☆☆⭒ Meh-eh? Well...? It’s a good track, I respect it. Not as memorable as the other songs but it fits well in the album. A good filler song.

Track 14: “from your letter” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like The very beginning with the snaps and twinkly sounds are pretty cool. The song is enjoyable and calls for some shoulder moving at least. There was a remix on AHS a long time ago by sleeperspaceborn which was pretty damned good, and in fact made me like this song. 

Track 15: “For My Dear...” Rating: ☆☆☆⭒ Like Like  Here for the drama and the high notes, shoot it straight into my bloodstream and do not resuscitate. The Acoustic Version is also a great remix, I love how she sounds like she’s screaming over the piano and guitar.

Track 16: “Present” Rating: ☆☆ Meh Like “FRIEND II” I can’t remember this song...

Ah there it is! *proceeds to forget again*

Non-album tracks:

“Two of us” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love I absolutely l-o-v-e this song right down to the cheesy, slow dance prom-y feel to it. Hell, even the “touch of mahogany mix” is one of the best remixes; I dare you not to at least bob your head when you hear it. This song can only be found on the Depend on You single and it’s a damn shame it didn’t make it to the ASf×× album. However maybe this can be considered her first slow ballad... but again, solid foundation. The lyrics are once again so pain-ridden and sorrowful, but then when you hear it against that funky rhythm on the “touch of mahogany mix,” you can’t help but submit to the dissonance of snapping along while in tears.

Also Xelakad provided an ah-mazing remix of this song on AHS a while back too. It seriously turns this song into a spiritual experience.

---

Average era rating: ☆☆☆ Like

If I could describe this album in two words, they would be: cohesive and precious. Yes her lyrics reflect hurt, rejection, and cynicism, but against the pop rock beats and her high voice, the album maintains an element of innocence. I believe it was a strong and consistent debut relative to her discography, as we are introduced to a young and weary Ayu who’s uncertain about the future, of love, of herself... *le sigh*

But let’s tie everything up in a nice pretty bow. For the list of Ayu’s creative bests, the common denominator is how much I really loved the drama and uniqueness of the tracks. Given that Ayu’s music style quickly evolved after this album, we conceivably don’t and won’t hear any songs like these ever again, and that’s why they’re just special.

The ‘Loves’ (only in order of track listing): A Song for ×× FRIEND POWDER SNOW (Acoustic Orchestra) YOU “Aggressive Mix” Two of us

Ayu’s creative bests: A Song for ×× POWDER SNOW (Acoustic Orchestra) For My Dear... Two of us

***

Credits: -Album art from Wikipedia -Concert screenshots from eneabba.net/ayu

Disclaimer: this post is solely my personal view and opinion. I am a Westerner with no fluency in Japanese, and so my viewpoint is shaped from English translations provided by ahsforum.com and all the feels from years of daily listening.

[lunamanar]

Off-the-Cuff First-impressions Review: Trials of Mana

I got Seiken Densetsu 3/Trials of Mana in the mail today and am surprised by just how excited I am about it. After the admittedly predictable letdowns of the Secret of Mana “remake” and the FFVIII “remaster,” not to mention the iOS revision of the former, you’d think I’d be jaded at this point. 

But! FFVII remake is Actually Good, and so far it looks like Trials of Mana is, while certainly lower budget, also Actually Good. The voice acting is kinda meh, but not bad enough to detract from the game in my opinion, and considering they are working with SNES-era scripts (the dialogue is 99% word-for-word the same as the more recent translation of the original SD3 game, so it’s going to be a bit stilted anyway) it’s really not bad at all. 

Besides, the actual meat of the game--the world, character and monster design, and the gameplay--is extremely solid and I have had very little trouble acclimating to it. It’s fun to play, it feels good to run around and explore the world and the battles are both very simplistic in a way that is familiar to an old fart like me and very satisfying in the way they function. One of the biggest weaknesses the original game had was absolutely horrendous input lag in some areas due to 1. the sheer size of the loaded map section, such as Rolante/Laurant, 2. The number of on-screen instructions the SNES had to process during battles, particularly during fights where you had massive sprites taking up the entire screen (the awful awful wall-guardian “Genova” [harhar] is probably the single hardest boss in the game purely due to input lag/drops; when you attack an enemy, even assuming your weapon swings when you tell it to, and that’s a big ‘if,’ the monster you are attacking is actually in a state which is several frames ahead of whatever state it visually appears to be in on-screen, making it extremely difficult to time your attacks properly to both defend and do optimal damage to what should have been a relatively minor “miniboss” fight). Trials of Mana, on the other hand, has none of those problems, simply thanks to more modern technology. So far every fight I’ve engaged in has been smooth and responsive as well as very visually appealing.

And wow is this game pretty. It’s not the most amazing example of the best graphical advances in gaming history, to be sure, but I genuinely don’t think that matters, as it’s still beautifully detailed and really does look like they took the original graphics and magicked them into more modern models. The re-imaginings of each area and monster are very faithful to both the aesthetic and the layout of the original design while at the same creatively expanding on them; I've had no trouble finding my way around familiar maps or identifying the bestiary, but I have found a lot of added depth to them, such as the ability to jump down on rooftops and find hidden nooks that were just static backdrops or otherwise out of sight in the original. The areas are more layered and interactive, but very importantly, nothing is missing. Not even the dogs and cats, who still bark and meow at you if you talk to them. I feel like I’m being allowed to see and explore the original maps from angles I didn’t have access to in the past. It really makes the 16-year-old in me unbelievably happy, to be able to finally, actually see and do these things I could only wish for back then. For people who have never played it, it’s probably a very pretty, if otherwise unremarkable experience, but for me it’s the granting of a wish I’ve had for a long time, but never expected to happen. 

Similarly, I think a lot of people will look at the plot for this game and go, “...what?” Because it really doesn’t seem to have been changed at all from the SNES version, aside from a few little tweaks to the dialogue here and there to ease the transition between some sections or correct for differences in game mechanics (of which there are only a few; again, this is definitely a remake--it remains the same game with the same mechanics at its core). This can lead to some pretty awkward interactions between characters, and at times it seems pretty clear that the voice actors weren’t given a lot of direction about the context of their lines. It’s not a bad story, but it’s a very simply told one, and feels more like it’s targeting 12~16 year-olds (which it probably is, to be fair) who might not care so much about nitpicking the semantics of the plot and character motivations. Which is to say, most of the characters who are not main protagonists or villains are painfully cardboard-flat. They do what they do and say what they say because it advances the plot for them to do and say those things. Elliot falls for a “trick” that I’m pretty sure most 4-year-olds would see through. The Bad Guys are 1-dimensionally evil, wanting to either destroy or take over the world, with the possible exception of Lugar and Koren who have slightly more complicated “I’m your rival” reasons. That leaves the complexity up to the protagonists to shoulder, and while I haven’t played that far into the game yet, thus far is is beat-for-beat and shot-for-shot the same as the original, so I expect that character-building will be left largely up to the player to mentally write in, especially since the game features light/dark class-changes as a feature of its progression. (I do kiiiind of hope that your choice in class changes has a more material effect on the ending’s outcome, but I think that might be asking a bit too much from a remake of this sort.) But the somewhat archaic plot and character arcs are not surprising and for me don’t take away any of the game’s charm. Nikita is still the best, the shop owners still dance inexplicably, the fact you can play a werewolf is badass, rabites are still cute, Don Perignon is still kind of a jerk. I’m very nervous/excited to get Busukaboo and Flammie and hope they’ll be as much fun now as they were then. And the whole world is so damn pretty, I’m just glad to be there. 

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the music. I’m not sure how much of a hand Hiroki Kikuta actually had in this remake, but the synth-orchestral arrangements of his originals are excellent so far. They’re both accessible/adaptable to the game’s sudden scene transitions (”Nuclear Fusion” starts and ends just as cleanly) while being a richer version of the themes, keeping close to the original sound while making better use of all the instruments that the SNES just wasn’t capable of emulating well. It blends very well with the rest of the game and I hope that continues to be true. 

I do have nitpicks; while I know it’s a popular mechanic, I don’t like the “shift-lock” sort of dash using the left analog stick as both directional and a button. I think the camera controls are solid, but I do wish there wan a toggle-option to have the camera just follow over your shoulder wherever you run until you either run into a battle or turn it off. The character models don’t seem especially affected by anything except the most intense/pervasive lighting and sometimes feel oddly out of place, like I’m watching one of those old movies where an animated character comes into the Real World. Some of the monster designs seem cute-ified more than I’d like. And I can’t help but think that if the game can be this nice as a third-tier title for SE, what could it have been if they’d but the resources behind it that they obviously did with FF7? I understand why they didn’t, but it’s hard not to wonder what it could have been if they had.  Seiken Densetsu is one of the most fraught series in the history of home video games and the fact that it’s even still around is something of a miracle, in my opinion. After the last...four?...titles following Legend of Mana, and the disappointment that was SD2′s (second!) remake, I really didn’t go into Trials of Mana with high hopes. I have been really, honestly pleasantly surprised. Even if you’re a diehard old-schooler who really doesn’t like modern JRPGs, if you have any nostalgia left for this series, you should give this one a go. I think it translated really well to 3D models, and what little it loses in the switch, it makes up for in playability. It’s not hard to pick up, it’s easy on the eyes and ears, it’s less grind-y than the original, and it doesn’t try to be more than what it is. I’ll probably always prefer the original, of course; there are too many memories attached to it for me, too many things that were groundbreaking at the time that are now old news or completely obsolete nowadays, and the new game certainly doesn’t push any modern boundaries. But it’s worth checking out, and especially if you’ve spent 20 years feeling let down by the Mana series, this might actually be the game you were hoping for, albeit maybe a decade late. 

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Episodes 01-15

Press START button.

Ex-Aid is one of those seasons that when you look at it sounds like something that shouldn't work. I mean, putting doctors and video-games together? Is this what, a Dr. Mario live-action, an adaptation of Surgeon Simulator, or an actual Kamen Rider season?

This odd combination of factors always made very skeptical about this season, there's also the huge anime eyes in the helmet that never sat well with me too, but this concept combo always seemed pretty wild to work. But then I watched Gaim, which also had an odd combination of themes, and I saw that those odd concepts mixed together can be doable and be something fun so I started to look forward to the season. But even with the excitement, a small fear started to linger because as I started seeing more and more of Kamen Rider and seeing more of the community I always saw Ex-Aid popping up as one season that everyone thinks it's top-notch and well... the last time I saw a highly acclaimed season in the fandom I hated it so the chances of that happening here again were there.

And you know, I think my fears became reality and I feel like I'm having another Drive experience here. Maybe not at the same level as Drive, I feel like Ex-Aid got me less angry and annoyed, but this season really didn't click with me. I see that it can grow on me because after episode 11 I started enjoying it more, but the general feeling for these 15 episodes and this movie was... meh? Like, I don't like most of the characters, I have a serious problem with the comedy, and there's something in the dialogue of this show that really tickles me off. I also don't like how CGI heavy this show is, and most of the CGI looks horrible.

One thing that really pushed me off at the beginning was the structure that wasn't very interesting, we had 4 episodes to introduce the riders, 4 episodes to give a power-up to each of them, and 2 to introduce a shared power-up and defeat the first general of the villains, and I felt like I came out of these without that much story, it felt like they were just going through a checklist of toys they had to sell and not actually telling a story. It's only from episode 11 onward that it starts to feel like this show has some sort of plot.

I also don't like how this starts similar to a Rider War thing, with all riders competing to see who cleans 10 games first and gets the most Gashats, but they make all characters out of the main one be completely hateful so we have no choice other than root for him. And like, it's okay to give us jerk characters, but you gotta give us something about them so that we can hang on, you don't need to make them redeemable or anything but you gotta have enough for us to love hating on a character otherwise it's just annoying.

Going back to my weird dialogue point, probably one of the things that I dislike the most is how there are times where they don't seem like real people talking? Like, the image I have when seeing the dialogue is that a bunch of old men in a writers' room sit down thinking "what will sound very trendy to hit off with the kid gamers", "what's a young people language we can put here" and they think they're being very smart and clever, but just sounds odd as hell, especially with the gaming aspect and the catchphrases (that at this point in this franchise I'm already tired of them because most of them aren't even charming anymore).

Another thing that doesn't sit well with me is just how special they make these characters be when there's no necessity for it. Like, being an actual doctor is already special enough, you don't need to have your main rider be extremely good at games to justify the gaming motif, you don't need the secondary rider to be a famous prodigious surgeon to install a rivalry. I mean look at Kiriya, as far as I can't remember he doesn't have any special trait and yet he manages to be interesting and stand out on his own. Heck, you don't need to have Emu be patient 0 of the gaming disease when you already have him being really good at video-games and when you're starting to add another element to him with a possible second personality, it's too much for a single character RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. It's not like we're seeing those characters evolving into becoming special, they're already special and we just have to buy it. Of course, there are still routes that they can go with that will make the show more interesting, like for example they can do something with Taiga and Emu and their game addiction/obsession and that can be really great, but all this special feeling since the beginning really bugs me.

I think since I'm already here let me talk about the characters. Emu is a precious kid, there are times in which he kinda gets under my skin, but I overall like him. I especially love that he works as a pediatrician, in the beginning, especially considering this is a kids' show, I like to have this idea of doctors being heroes in the mind of children because they really are (despite the health care system in a lot of countries make it looks like they're villains). Other than him being extra special there are two things the show does with him that I don't like, the first one is that after the first arc is done they make him leave pediatrics to start doing surgeries and while I understand that as an intern that's the normal course and he probably has to go through different areas before choosing a specialty, but I feel like that was done just to hone more the rivalry with Hiiro and I don't really care for that, I hope he's back at pediatrics later on because I feel like it's what makes more sense for him and for the target audience of this show. The other thing I don't like is his personality change when he "starts a game" because it never felt like there was much of a change in any of the cases, they just make a gust of wind and he shows a grim for a few seconds, but nothing changes. And seeing that this is a plot point they want to explore it annoys me that they never made that play out before, it's bringing something up when it's convenient and saying that they had a basis for that but the basis is a single small thing that was never brought up to attention before.

Moving to Hiiro, I Hate Him and that's all I have to say. And I hate him even more because the show put him in a relationship where he was very cold and dismissive of his significant other and still they want to make us sympathize with him, they frame it as "the girl left because she didn't want to bother your studies" instead of "she left you because you were a jerk". But of course, they can't make that because then they wouldn't be able to make the stoic character they want so much, they would have to make someone who's trying to become a better person after he lost someone important that he didn't give the proper attention to, and that's much harder and they don't want that. UGH, I hate this man so much.

Taiga. Taiga is... interesting, I like the concept of someone who worked at CR before but lost himself to addiction, that's a great plot point. It's sad they don't do much with him and we end up with another obsessive jerk. Still, don't hate him as much because I can see the potential for them doing something very cool with him, but as of now, he's in the pile of hate.

Kiriya was probably my favorite character of this cast, it was really fun seeing him go from a mysterious man lurking around to someone who looks very deceptive, and all the journey of him investigating the truth as the episodes where going, and seeing his credibility be questioned but he never gave up despite that, it was all very great. Do I think it was a cheap move to kill him before he could tell the truth about Emu? Yes, I do. Because this is something we see everywhere, it's not a new trick. But I still felt his death, and if they don't come up with a way to revive him somehow I'll give this show props because it was a bold move to kill off a character during the Christmas special.

About Genm, and all the villains for that matter, I don't have much to say. I don't get them, I'm not curious to understand them, thus I don't care for them. It's interesting that the powers of the riders end up coming from the main villain? A bit? But then again, if you have all of these powers and you're handing them to people who oppose you, it seems like it's very counter-intuitive. At least they have the excuse that he's gathering data from them, but if he never recovers those gashats, is he really getting the data he wants? I don't know, everything about him and the villains seems very odd. But for what's worth, he almost killed himself to gather data for a zombie game and that was pretty wild so I guess that counts? About Graphite and Parad, I don't have anything to say, don't really care for them.

This leaves us with the side characters. Asuna/Poppy, I wanna like her but sadly I don't. If she is the "token girl" of the season, I'm at least glad she's not a romantic interest and that she fills in as a support role, but still, don't know why she can't just be a regular nurse that goes a little crazy sometimes. Though I guess if they had gone this route with her she would probably become Kiriko 2.0 and that's also bad so... There's the Director of the hospital, and I just hate him, I hate that they make someone who's supposed to be the leader of the hospital sooooo stupid. And he's stupid at all times, he doesn't even get the treatment Jun had in which he was there for comedy but he also had his moments where he was serious and those moments were pretty good. This dude is just here to make his eyes pop and drool over his son and I hate that. Mr. Minister should've chosen someone better suited for this job. And last, there's Nico who just seems like another jerk I don't like, but I'm holding on talking about her because I think I've only seen her for 2 or 3 episodes and she appeared very little so I can't say much about her.

I intended to talk about the Dr. Pac-Man movie, but they actually integrated that plot in the show in a much more flashed out way this time around so I feel like it would be redundant to talk about it since the bigger points I would have to make were already touched on. But let me say, what a mess of a movie. Like, there was no reason for Wizard and Gaim to be there, like how did Gaim even get there in the first place? This movie would be much better with only Drive, Ghost, and Ex-Aid, because they actually had a decent plot going around there that connected very nicely. But it's still a cross-over movie and they make a lot of things I hate about these cross-overs, the awful rider forms are there, there was an awful huge CGI battle scene that looked ugly as hell (though props to them for making this fight happen mid-way and not at the end), there was that scene were the riders started to speed-run through their old forms that were also pretty awful because I could barely understand what was going on in the scenes, all the mess that every rider cross-over movie has. But the thing that annoyed me the most this time around wasn't even that, was Ghost being Ghost again and putting another countdown to doom into Takeru and bringing Akari in this hell with him, and having ANOTHER fake-out death for him at the end. GOSH, THIS ANNOYS ME SO MUCH, LET THIS DUDE LIVE, STOOOOOOP.

And before wrap-up let's talk about what everyone loves, the designs.

This is probably the group with my least favorite designs EVER in this franchise, I'm sorry. I get, they're taking inspiration of different game genres, and the different forms are like they're leveling up, and in concept, I like that but in actual looks, only a very few of them get to pull it off. To begin with, I don't even know what those belts are supposed to be, they look way too busy and I can't define what that shape is.

The Level 1 forms are a mistake. I know, it's Mario before he eats a mushroom, it's still ugly as hell, and I hate that when they grow to their Level 2 forms the head of Level 1 goes to their back like a backpack. In terms of Level 2, I wasn't a fan of Ex-Aid's eyes at first but the design grew on me a lot, I love the colors and how vibrant it is, I also like Genm's because it's just a color variation and it looks good so... Kinda wish his hammer arm stayed as a hammer all the time though, makes Brave having a sword less special. And speaking of him, despite hating his character, as an RPG fan, I do love his design. Snipe, on the other hand, is an abomination. That thing on his right eye that is supposed to hair? What the fuck Kamen Rider, you can do better. Well... at least he's not just a bike, I guess. Thinking about it now, I should've known that Kiriya would end-up dying when his level 2 form was just a bike, that was a major red flag. At least he looks cool.

Sadly Level 3 starts to make everything look ugly again because the power-ups are attachments and they usually go only in the upper body making everyone look like an ice cream cone. I don't think there's a single Level 3 design I like, all of them look awful. I think Shakariki Sports and Jet Combat offend me the most, but all of these can be thrown in the trash. Together with the shared Level 5 power-up, gosh talk about an awful form, it's so bulky, and that dragon head looks so ridiculous, I think the only Level 5 that works is Brave's because in the end it just looks like he's branding his sword, but everyone else looks awful, in special the Full Dragon form.

The Level 10 forms are fun because I love Genm's zombie version, black and white is an easy combination but it works so well, and this dude looks so freaking cool, also NO BACKPACK HEAD! Also, he has a much better belt than the others, this should be the design for all the riders, it's not very big, it's easily recognizable as a portable console, it just looks good you know? But then we have Ex-Aid's Level 10 and he's chibi ex-aid again and he looks awful, thankfully this form is just a set for us to get Level 20 Left and Right that is a concept I love and definitely my favorite suits out of the ones for this season so far. Would I like it better if there wasn't the shoulder piece with Lv.10's head? Definitely, but I still love these forms. I personally love the right side more because after all we already have a light blue rider on the team, but I also think the bright orange with blue accents looks more appealing and stands out more than the blue with orange accents. The last form present in these 15 episodes is Para-DX's Puzzle and Fighting game forms, and I hate the puzzle form, it's really ugly, the fighting game form works way much better, but the back of the helmet being Puzzle's head brings it down a little.

And that's it for this post. Not gonna lie, considering how much I didn't enjoy this show at the beginning, I'm very surprised by how long this post is. I think it's a sign I'm invested so I'm hoping we'll have only good things from here on now. If you have anything to add, please share your thoughts in the comments down below. Stay healthy, stay safe, never stop resisting, thank you so much for reading me rant for so long, and until the next time. See ya in the next game.

[soundrooms]

Soundrs: DJ CYBERDAD

My name is John Verchot, I’ve released music under several names: J-chot as well as DJ CYBERDAD. Locally, I’m usually just billed as DJ Verchot. I feel like the first thing I should tell you about myself is that I have severe ADHD, which seems to be the single most consistent force guiding my art and existence. I often get distracted and always get ahead of myself when I try to explain things. DJ CYBERDAD started out as a funny pseudonym to release more profane songs that I didn’t want my son to hear, but changed into an outlet for my smoother dance jams as well as more introspective music. 

What are your inspiration sources?

It varies from project to project. Often times with tracks, the inspiration to work on them comes in two or three different phases. Inspiration to create sounds is one thing, as inspiration to finish and structure tracks, create moods/themes, or even package them into a finished project, all feel like different driving forces/processes that need to happen in order for me to get anything done. However, whichever one of those forces I am able to utilize when I sit down at my laptop often seems to be beyond my control.

Most times I’ll hear a sound, loop or phrase, I’ll start to wonder what I can do with it, or how I can change and manipulate it. It might be the timbre of an old instructional video’s narrator, or an odd metallic sound I’ve managed to coax out of some equipment. Occasionally I’ll think of a concept, either of overall sound or thematic content and before I know it, I’ve got half a track planned out in my head. Many times I’ll hear other tracks or songs, and want to use just one part/concept/sound or re-do the whole track differently. With “Emotional in Destin”, I was trying to convey moods or feelings I felt during an unexpected trip to Florida in the middle of a crushing depression. It sounds bizarre, but I've never channeled personal experiences into my music before.

Overall what inspires me to create different sounds is the novelty of technology and bits and other people’s music.

What makes me want to sit down and make music is personal or professional success.

What inspires me to finish tracks and projects is the distant white noise of overwhelming anxiety and dread setting in as the ennui of the imminent collapse of western society fades giving way to the dark, almost imperceivable thrumming of the void drawing nearer, and is definitely getting louder. Your “time” is almost up John. Did you even do anything, or are you too skiddish and feeble of heart and head to make any clear decisions, impulsively flitting from one animal urge to another bad habit, clogging the chemical receptors of your brain for simple stupid pleasure. It’s night now and your eyes and fingers grow weary…

What was the question again? 

Tell us something about your workflow.

Most times, it starts with just noodling around. Sometimes, it’s with synths and sequencers, either recording sounds or looping notes and tweaking/loading patches (virtual or real synths), sometimes I’m browsing potential sample material, but what happens next is the same regardless of how I’m making sounds or what I’m doing:

…I think hear something.

…And I STOP noodling. Basically, I either hear something I like, or I hit a riff or whatever and it’s like a tiny, tiny light bulb that blinks barely. Occasionally it’s like a hundred watt, and other ideas quickly fall into place. Most times, it’s a process of trial and error, but I’m making sure to document or isolate the little pieces that click and then attempt to refine or improve on those ideas. Ideas can quickly diverge, multiple sets with different names get saved, and I often jump around and get lost. I use color coding on clips and pieces in Ableton to help me sort those ideas. Some ideas form by running one sequence I’ve had already through a whole different synth/patch.

Very rarely, I’ll get a concrete idea while I’m driving, maybe I’ll make some notes on my phone (text to speech notes, voice recording).

When I get a spark that makes me imagine a full concept (“Charles Nelson Riley”, or that “My P**sy tastes like Pepsi Cola” remix for example), the track is formed VERY quickly (four to eight hours working time) and I finish the mix, structure, everything. This is rare, but these tracks are almost always my better material.

The next step is always the same: Let the track “cool-off”. Leave it alone. Do something else for a few days, or weeks… or in some cases, years… Then I’ll fuck around with it even more, or move on to:

STRUCTURE & MIXING: 

I look for/experiment with arrangements that compliment my DJ style, or allow someone to do a rough edit if they want, (breakdowns at the end), or I’ll load a track that I like to DJ that’s similar enough and I will STRAIGHT UP copy the song structure in terms of intro, (drums or keys?) repeating bits, breakdowns, outros… Most times I fuck with it until it sounds okay, which is kinda bad because I end up drastically overscrutinizing it.

When it comes to mixing, something that I should do more often but don’t is load a reference track (someone else’s track) and try to get my mix to sound like theirs… This technique REALLY helps stop “nasty surprises” when you listen to it on a big system, or in the car.

Most of the time, I’ve been tweaking the mix the entire time I’ve been working on the project. 

TL;DR

The “Emotional in Destin” EP is almost entirely soft synths, but lately my flow is:

1. dick around on hardware

2. “oh that sounds good, let me make another sound to go with it” (see step 1)

3. record a few pieces to an Ableton project.

4. “I don't know what to do now.” …maybe mixing or structure…

…almost ALL THE TIME, however I jump around and do everything very non-linearly. Hardware helps me not spend so much time tweaking patches or EQ-ing a snare drum for an hour. Texture is SUPER important to me, so I’ll often get hung up on EQ and compression before I even start on structure or mixing. 

How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?

The hardest part for me is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS getting started, or shifting gears from other activities (resting after work, reading tumblr, goofing off…) and going to sit down at my desk and start music stuff. I’m certain it’s an executive dysfunction thing. The less I think about doing it before I do it, the better.

Animal sacrifice SIGNIFICANTLY speeds things up. Try not to get blood on the gear/laptop, and make sure never to clean, but regularly sharpen the ceremonial dagger (VERY important). 

How do you get in the zone?

I don’t really try…

As soon as I start to approach a task as “a thing” I get nervous and anxious. If I go “okay, I’ve got this task to complete…” my subconscious hijacks my higher functions to make me look at memes or tumblr for three hours instead of do what I “should” or “want”… The problem with me in the past has been how do I get OUT of the zone? 

How do you start a track? 

Oh jeez, I really jumped the shark with that question earlier, didn’t I? A technique I’ll sometimes employ is load up an old track, keep the drum sounds/patches but delete all the data, and make an entirely different genre of track… or one that's very similar… That’s kind of a fun exercise if nothing else. Also it often winds up getting tweaked and adjusted to hell and back. 

Do you have a special template? 

Nope. I make TONS of drum, EQ, and effects presets though. And they all have terrible names like “gooddrums”, “$GOODrums” and such.

Even though I’ve started with carbon copies, they ALWAYS end up sounding completely different by the time I’m finished with the track, because I can’t leave em well enough alone. 

What do you put on the master channel? 

Sometimes EQ, but always a phat ass compressor (limiting). I’ve been thinking about investing in a nice non-free one lately, but for some reason I am not comfortable with purchasing software plugins… I also have learned recently, that I’ve been using compression on the individual tracks way too much… which makes final-mixing a pain in the ass. 

How do you arrange and finish a track? 

DAMN IT. I really did go too hard with the first couple questions. The “finishing” of a track for me (arrangement, mixing) is usually done much later than the rest of the process. I try not to force stuff, but lately I’m realizing more and more that I need to not do this as much.

I can’t stress enough how using a reference track for structure or mixing can very often break up stagnation on a project. 

How do you deal with unfinished projects?

Several ways. The first step is to judge an old file and see if it's worth finishing. If there is ANYTHING of creative/sonic merit, I put it in a folder with the other “sketches and ideas” (project graveyard). Otherwise, I have been trying to delete the “junk” projects… this can make it easier to focus. Another thing I often do is to make presets/patches/Ableton instruments from the parts I like, then drop it in a folder called “meh”. Or I drop them into several categorical folders, i.e.: “uncircumcised electro bangers”, “abrasive techno”. 

How do you store and organize your projects?

Aw jeez. Oh gosh-oh darn. (See above answer.) 

How do you take care of studio ergonomics? 

Trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. This year alone my studio has been restructured and moved about my downstairs room at least five times. I’ve finally settled on something that feels very useful and productive. I am also this way with my work station at my job. CHANGE IT UNTIL IT WORKS GREAT. This can also help with creative stagnation, or can trigger it, so be careful. I keep my “electronics laboratory” close at hand so that more of that tinkering can find it’s way into my music… no such luck, YET.

I’ve currently decorated my space with all the crap I’ve saved up over the years, that for some reason, I’ve looked at this and thought: “This makes me happy” …SUUURE, my studio now looks like a fourteen year old decorated it, but I gotta say, I feel pretty phenomenal. Soon I’m gonna try to put this “stars and space” wall paper on my ceiling… I’ll update with a photo when that’s done.

Also I would like to say:

Minimalist spaces and studios are bullshit, y’all look like sick baby birds in empty shoe-boxes.

I mean, NOBODY LIVES THAT WAY, right? Maybe some boring rich people do, but damn… I mean, I try to clean and stay organized… and it helps, but I also try not to get to hung up on it. 

Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?

**LOUD SUCKING SOUND THROUGH TEETH** I don't… at least, not very well at all… but I’m working on that.

I am not the person you should ask this question, because THIS RIGHT HERE is the BANE of my existence… 

Share a quick producing tip.

MAN, I’ve already dropped like… seven, but okay, here goes:

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, FINISH THE TRACK. For me, this means ghetto-rigging, DIY, using the same goddamn audio interface from 2002 for f****ng fifteen YEARS… (recently fixed) don’t get hung up on “proper” ways, or ways that are outside your current means. Also, get a set of decent monitors… or use several pairs of headphones/speakers to double check mixes.

Recently, I’ve had less time, but a little bit of money, which is the opposite of how I’ve ALWAYS operated… it’s been difficult to unlearn “time consuming but cheap”. Also difficult not to impulse buy synths. 

Making music with just a mouse and keyboard may be the least sexy thing ever… it works tho… cheap MIDI controllers CAN work faster however. 

Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).

My son just showed me this ➜ https://dddance.party/ and I have to say, this is an outstanding achievement of mankind. 

List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : ) 

Traffic outside my window, gentle hum of laptop cooling fan, dog snoring, fingers typing, birds chirping… that’s it.

John has a lo-fi house EP out on UltraBold Records as DJ CYBERDAD. It’s called ‘Emotional in Destin’. Stream it ➜ here, audio cassettes are available ➜ here.

Thanks John! If you want to get featured next, send a message here on tumblr or email soundrooms@icloud.com.

[paulisweeabootrash]

Pokémon 2.B.A. Master

I stumbled across a piece of weeb trash media I had heard of, but neither attempted nor expected to find.  And it’s a bit different.  Today, my friends, we are not doing an anime or manga, or even another novel.  We’re doing a tie-in music album, a American blatant cash-grab based on a Japanese franchise.  Oh no.  Oh yes.

Pokémon 2.B.A. Master (1999)

As a young weeblet, I was a regular watcher of the first two arcs of Pokémon (Kanto and Johto).  It was in both weekday and weekend timeslots, and never seemed to be broadcast in any sensible order, but I nonetheless watched it frequently and enjoyed it no matter how many times WB decided to rerun episodes I’d already seen.  At some point, this CD came out, and I remember seeing ads for it when it was new.  There were even televised music videos for a few of the songs, broadcast as a segment called “Pikachu’s Jukebox”. I never saw a copy of the album in person, and never expected to. Maybe it was one of those that you had to order by calling some number?  I don't remember (or, frankly, care enough to look it up).  Anyway, I recently encountered this in the small music section of a used book store, and I figured "why not?"  And the obvious answer is "most of the contents".

The cover, in addition to using proud and unironic Comic Sans for the subtitle "2.B.A. Master", boasts that the album contains both "Music From The Hit TV Series" and "10 Brand New Songs!"  The former refers obviously to the main theme of the show and every child's favorite mnemonic device, the PokéRap (or “PokéRAP” as it’s spelled for some reason?), but I'm not sure what the third song from the show is.  And again, I don’t care enough to look it up.  The important thing is, John Loeffler wrote all of them, and apparently an absurd number of other Pokémon-related songs.  The "Brand New Songs!" here are mostly new to me, and they’re... a doozy.  Except for the songs from the show, plus “Double Trouble” and maybe “Misty’s Song” if I want to be very generous, I am tempted to suggest you could get a similar musical experience in a shorter time by putting on an episode of Pokémon, playing a mix of Milli Vanilli and Boyz II Men songs over it, and banging your head against a wall.

1. Pokémon Theme

We begin with the extended version of the classic theme, this is a sure dose of nostalgia for anyone who watched the show.  It sounds, considering the release date, a little outdated — I get kind of a "Beat It" vibe, not from the melody, but from the instrumentation, combining 80s-gated drums and searing electric guitar.  But the theme, already one of the few TV themes out there I find enjoyable and not instantly forgettable, extends to a full length surprisingly well, avoiding getting boring or devolving into complete idiocy with lyrics.  I actually like this song as a song, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

2. 2B A Master

The instrumentation in this track is absurdly 90s, and again kind of Michael Jackson-y, but is interesting and varied, especially in the sudden attention-grabbing rhythmic change accompanying the line "the greatest master of Pokémon".  It shows better restraint in its use of things like record scratch noises and basslines running parallel to vocal lines that I find get really old really quickly.  I actually, on the whole, enjoy this song and think the music could have been the basis for something great.  “Could have” being the keyword.  Lest you think I'm going to give a rosy, loving review of this album, no, it quickly gets bad.  Some of the lyrics feel like such forced attempts to get Pokémon references in that I am embarrassed on behalf of the people stuck singing and rapping them, 20 years later.  It’s a waste of what could’ve been a fun funky song.  (Incidentally, why is the title of the song punctuated differently from the title of the album?)

3. Viridian City

The slide downhill continues.  What the hell is this song?  The lyrics are only marginally less stupid than the previous track, the music sounds like a keyboard "dance" preset, and it has a weird rapped/spoken "echoing" of sung lines it’s incredibly hard to imagine anyone ever liked.  Ugh.

4. What Kind of Pokémon Are You?

Third time's the charm, I guess?  After the previous two tracks tried and failed to force Pokémon-related lyrics that just don't work, this one at least manages to fire off a series of type-related puns.  The music, however, turns back towards gratingly boring (and for some reason, the bridge comes thisclose to ripping off "Eye of the Tiger"?).  Actually, no, hahaha, the lyrics remain very stupid, I think I'm just getting "ground down by a Marowak" by how bad the preceding tracks were.

5. My Best Friends

The parts move in unison too closely for my tastes, the lyrics are bland, the vocal arrangement makes it sound downright inappropriately dramatic, and what’s up with the bridge that veers off into doo-wop?  The main thing this song has going for it is the vaguely pleasant piano part in the verses, which really appeals to me (it sounds familiar, although I can’t place what specifically it reminds me of).  The melody of the chorus sounds even more familiar — so familiar in fact I'm starting to wonder if it's a copyright-violation-skirting ripoff of something famous. But otherwise, this is a solid “meh”, sounding like a boy band song that would only briefly have made the charts.

6. Everything Changes

And now we're back to impressions of Michael Jackson.  This one's instrumentation and mood and even bits of the melody are so him that I could almost believe you if you told me this was an outtake that didn't make it onto Bad. (Although the singer sounds less like Jackson the longer the song goes on.) The lyrics, although vaguely applicable to everything, are a welcome change from the previous few tracks by not feeling like Pokémon has been painfully shoehorned in... up until the part where a clip from the show plays during a break between choruses.  Ugh.  Could you really not come up with a better way to make this into a distinctly Pokémon song?

7. The Time Has Come (Pikachu's Goodbye)

Yuck.  The sentimental ballad (I want to call it a “power ballad”, but I’m unsure what exactly counts as one), as a general rule, is a fire hose full of melodrama best used for comedy.  I don't understand how songs like this have ever been taken seriously.  I would expect to hear this as the ending theme to a movie that tries to be a tragedy but can’t quite pull it off.

8. Pokémon (Dance Mix)

I assumed from the title that this was a remix of the theme song, but instead, it's just sort of a filler track...  It makes almost no impression on me at all, although I do enjoy the intro’s use of "backward-sounding" and morphing synths.  Otherwise, this is another track that sounds like it uses keyboard preset backgrounds.

9. Double Trouble (Team Rocket)

Okay, look, I can’t rate this one fairly.  The longest-running fandom-related internal conflict of my life has been whether I'd rather be James or have James as mai hasubando, and I love Team Rocket in general as comedy relief villains.  I used to enthusiastically perform their ridiculous introductory speech with a friend from band camp (I am even more of a geek than you thought).  This song actually bothers to be more specific in terms of its Pokémon subject matter, meaning this is finally a song about Pokémon rather than just a generic pop song with Pokémon flavor, and it uniquely is performed by voice actors from the show, namely those who played Jesse, James, Meowth, and Giovanni.  It really grates on me when the VAs talk over the singers, but unlike some of the other songs, it feels like it builds up and goes somewhere.  We have at least broken free from the boringness of the last few tracks, with almost industrial percussion and chromatic and sometimes dissonant bass and synth lines that really make it a solid villain song, even though it has a hokey “rap written by people who haven’t actually listened to any rap” feel.  And James’s absolutely ludicrous laugh will absolutely alienate who isn’t already a fan of the character, and most people who are, too.

10. Together Forever

The “disappointing imitation of Michael Jackson” theme returns, this time mostly in the voice.  It especially pops out at me with the pronunciation of "friend" as "fraynnnndah!".  Unfortunately, rather than trying to imitate Jackson’s songwriting again, this song seems to want to rip off Stock Aitken Waterman.  And it succeeds at that, too well, as it somehow manages to outcompete a song those writers wrote for Rick Astley to be the worst song with this title.  Also returning here: the use of clips from the show to clumsily force an otherwise generic song to be Pokémon-related.  Hooray.

11. Misty's Song

Huh.  Now this one is interesting.  Buried deep in the album, we get something from a character POV that doesn’t just set trivia or quotes from the show to music.  Yvette Laboy does a believable job filling in as the singing counterpart for Rachel Lillis's speaking voice for Misty, and I just don't find it nearly as ridiculous as the other ballads on the album, for some reason. It even portrays a tsundere as insecure rather than just an obnoxious walking trope!  Sure, it's not great, but it's not bad either, especially after the other attempted ballads on here.  Until you remember that it's a 14-year-old singing a love song to a 10-year-old, which... ick.  It could've been sweet if put in the mouth of another character with a more age-appropriate relationship. Anyone want to rerecord this as “Kaname's Song” or something?

12. PokéRAP

Oh, educational rap.  Why?  It’s just unbearably cheesy and doesn’t seem to have had much thought put into it, as a general rule.  And this song is no exception.  Sure, I guess it has value as a mnemonic exercise (and it does a decent job of that, as anyone who still has large chunks of it memorized can tell you), but no value as music.  It often doesn’t even come close to rhyming where you’d expect it to, and it's obvious that Loeffler et al weren't sure what to do with a few of the names at all — Grimer and Chansey have egregious pauses after them, for example, and Omastar is stretched across space enough for two or three names for no good reason.  It is broken into convenient-sized stanzas that are only somewhat awkwardly forced into the established meter, but that meter has a too-regular feel, bouncing like a musical Superball, that even I, someone with no particular knowledge of nor interest in rap, recognize as being cheesier than Vanilla Ice.  It also hasn’t aged well.  The sung parts have absolutely no dynamic range and stay at MAXIMUM DRAMA LEVEL at all times.  Over the past 20 years, the lyrics have also become obsolete due to the many additional generations of Pokémon media and consequently much longer list of Pokémon to memorize.  Those topics have been covered in excruciating detail by Brian David Gilbert, who is much cleverer than I am, and yes, I do highly recommend sitting through that entire half-hour video.  All I can really add to that is, it's considerably less annoying than certain other mnemonic songs I was exposed to growing up. A bad song, unless you’re viewing it through sheer unfiltered silliness?  Yes.  A surprisingly catchy song that was a good marketing move?  Also yes.  And 20+ years later, I still can't avoid laughing at the way he says "Wartortle".

13. You Can Do It (If You Really Try)

The album could've gone out on that upbeat note, but no, they had to go for another overblown ballad, this time trying far too hard to be inspirational.  The plus side is, it's not yet another generic 80s/90s pop song.  The minus side is, it sounds like something that would be playing on the PA in a church thrift store.  Or a fake ad on an episode of SNL.  I do not feel empowered by this level of unironic encouragement.  I just feel like my eyes are rolling so hard they'll fall out.  Its only saving grace is that it’s somehow not the most irritating inspirational ballad from the late 90s that was used in connection with a geek-magnet TV show.

Overall... Although I want to describe the music as being "generic" — and it is full of the tiredest parts of 80s and 90s music, wandering from orchestra hits to record scratch noises to cutesy synthesizer "dings" to what seem to be several different singers' bad Michael Jackson impressions — some of it is actually interesting!  See, no matter what impression you got from what I said above, I don’t categorically hate this style of music.  I made multiple comparisons to songs from Thriller and Bad because I think most of the songs on those albums are examples of how to do this genre very well.  But 2.B.A. Master doesn’t just lag because I’m comparing it to widely-beloved albums.  Writing this review actually sent me introspecting for quite a while about what music I enjoy and why.  And I realized, many of the cheesiest and most flawed aspects of this album are also present on less-acclaimed albums I enjoy very much, like the niche The Golden Age of Wireless by Thomas Dolby and the virtually-unknown Playgrounds ‘n’ Glass by Urban Blight.  But, while Dolby’s music often has the same cheesy synthesizer voices and lack of dynamics or has weirdly melodramatic moments, it’s also often clearly experimenting with particular effects and techniques, and his lyrics have evocative images or stories that make the songs really engaging.  And, while Urban Blight’s lyrics are often cliche-ridden or downright idiotic, the 80s/90s pop music instrumentation and style elements are varied and used with... for lack of a better term, more discretion, I guess?, which makes me feel like their songs are building to something musically.  Well, except the song “Favorite Flavor”, which is just garbage.

The point is, while neither of those examples is a great album (at least not to my taste, which I freely admit colors this), they are both still good.  Unfortunately, while some songs on 2.B.A. Master approach goodness, they are the exception, not the rule.  Most of the music is simple and predictable and seem to use the more grating tropes of the time like orchestra hits and record-scratch noises just because they can, and most of the lyrics are less "song about Pokémon" and more "attempts at being vaguely inspirational with Pokémon references forced in uncomfortably".  Some of the songs are enjoyable in a "this was an earnest attempt” and/or guilty pleasure sort of way (and I unironically like the B-52s, so believe me, I know "this was an earnest attempt” and/or guilty pleasure music), but there’s very little on here I’d actually call good.  The best track here musically, “2B A Master”, is wasted on blah lyrics, and the one that most accomplishes the goal of being a song about Pokémon, “Double Trouble”, suffers greatly from its speaking-over-the-singers vocal performance.  All I can say is, I’m glad I got this album used.

-----

W/A/S Scores: 3/0/7

Weeb: The lyrics require some prior specific knowledge of the Pokémon anime to not be completely baffling, but Pokémon is probably the most well-known and well-entrenched Japanese franchise on this side of the Pacific, and other than that, it’s decidedly American, or at least decidedly within the musical cultures of Western Europe and the Anglosphere.

Ass: No.

Shit: AAAAAAAAH.  Okay, okay, no, seriously, there are a few good points, but it’s at best average-quality 90s pop with a veneer of Pokémon over the top.

-----

Oh Weird: While writing this and hunting down appropriate links, I was surprised to see how many uploads of, and even covers of, songs from this album there are on Youtube.  I assumed this album was a more or less forgotten piece of bad 90s media, but apparently it’s one with a significant fanbase.

Oh Cool: Maddie Blaustein, the original English-language voice actress for Meowth was also a comic editor and writer for both Marvel and DC and the Creative Director for the Weekly World News. Oh, and she was intersex and, according to one of the sources cited by the Wikipedia article, bi.

Oh No: Educational rap is still a thing, and there are resources to make your own.

[tomes-of-fenwyrm]

October Wrap-Up

The Graveyard Book - Neli Gaiman

4/5: Lovely writing as usual, and a perfect cozy tale to get into the spooky spirit. I loved the characters especially, and the style of telling individual stories was really well done. Solid read.

The Halloween Tree - Ray Bradbury

3/5: I usually love Ray Bradbury but this one just didn't thrill me. I don't know if it was just me not being in the right frame of mind but I just wasn't vibing. It had some fun moments but it was just ok for me.

Batman: Arkham Asylum- A Serious House on Serious Earth - Grant Morrison

4/5: Beautiful art by Dave McKean once again which bumps up the rating considerably for me. The writing was really nice at times if not a little too pretentious at times. Also, not being super knowledgeable about Batman previously makes it a little bit of a difficult read sometimes. Characters that aren't clearly named, etc. The plot was also a little confusing at times but honestly, I was just excited to see the art so...

If We Were Villains - M. L. Rio

3/5: This was a little meh for me. It's often compared to Secret History and it is extremely similar. I didn't connect with any of these characters as much as Secret History and it felt a little forced. I do like the use of quotes from Shakespeare being used in conversation as if it's their own words so the line between actor and character is blurred. I enjoyed those moments especially. But, otherwise, I found it predictable. Still a solid read.

Death of the Endless #1-2 - Neil Gaiman

4/5: This is a compilation of comics about Death from the Sandman series. She's my favorite character so by default, I'm going to enjoy it a lot. Most of the stories were very engaging but a few didn't hold my interest as much. Overall, had a great time.

House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski

5/5: This is one of the most unique reading experiences I've ever had and I really loved it. Was I scared? Not really. But if you love things like Cain's Jawbone, research, or puzzling, this is an excellent book. The format was totally unique and it made it hard to put down. I do feel like this is another one that really benefits from reading it multiple times (as is evident by the community for it on Reddit) but even on this read through I can see all the possible solutions to the mystery inside. I love how philosophical it got most of the time and it really delves into how we perceive horror. Some of the sections did drag a bit, but arguably, that's part of the point. This was a world I was excited to escape to. I also listened to the album his sister Poe wrote alongside the book and I highly recommend it as well. It became my favorite album to listen to this month. :)

Long Live the Pumpkin Queen - Shea Ernshaw

2/5: I gave this a very generous 2/5 which is honestly too much. I didn't like it. It has some nice writing at times but it felt rushed and forced and ugh. Also (SPOILERS) why does Sally need a backstory? And a predictable one at that? It was totally unnecessary and I just felt bored the whole time. It doesn't feel like my Nightmare Before Christmas. I feel like Disney was really pushing this one and maybe Ernshaw didn't have enough freedom or passion to make it truly good.

The Sandman Book 3 - Nell Gaiman

4/5: Excellent as always. Lots of good stories!

The Hellbound Heart - Clive Barker

3/5: This was a suggestion from my brother who loves the Hellraiser movie. I read it. I enjoyed it. It's not my usual bag and honestly, I liked basically no one in it. Kristy was nice though. I couldn't help feeling that everyone deserved exactly what they got. The mood was pretty good but I guess I was expecting there to be a bit more? It is meant to be more of a pulp horror though, so at face value, it's solid for what it is. That being said, I don't have any huge desire to read more Clive Barker.

The Yellow Wallpaper - Charlotte Perkins Gilman

5/5: Wonderful! I loved the writing, and I loved the way the story slowly progresses. I prefer a psychological horror style so this was an absolute delight. Excellent discussion on mental health, women's roles, etc. It was also a perfect size to read one morning with my coffee. This was an instant favorite and I'll be reading it again.

I read a lot more than I thought I would be able to! I have a lot more I wish I could've fit into the Halloween season so I may continue reading a few into November.

[ceci-nest-pas-un-cookbook]

I love this site, and I love this recipe. It's simple, vegan, gluten-free, and pleasing to a wide variety of palates. 

This is a low-spoon recipe for me because there's no (no!) chopping. The main ingredients do need to be rinsed and drained, however, so either make sure you have prep bowls and space, or quick reflexes! 

I find this to be a fairly gentle recipe as far as digestive complaints go, and have even  served it to a friend as her first real post-surgery meal. (She loved it.) If you have trouble digesting beans, however, I'd maybe keep this to a side dish. If you can't digest/tolerate alliums (garlic, onions, and the like), you could probably leave the garlic out without losing too much of the richness, because the mushrooms are pretty awesome. You could try experimenting with a little bit of white wine and/or chopped celery and or/celery seed, or use both sweet and smoked paprika. 

Note: the recipe calls for a large sauté pan with lid, which I don't technically own. I usually cook this in my stir fry pan (like a wok but flatter) but I have also made it in a 6-qt soup pot when I didn't have anything else. You must have a pot big enough to let the mushrooms fry in a shallow layer and deep enough to hold the mushrooms, chickpeas, and raw spinach. It must have a lid. Beyond that, it doesn't really matter. 

Serves 3-ish as a main dish or 6-ish as a side, depending on whether or not you doubled anything. This recipe is extremely forgiving and flexible, so feel free to experiment. 

Ingredients

3 tbsp olive oil

8 oz sliced white mushrooms

I often double this because I love mushrooms. I've also made it with 10 oz or 12 oz of mushrooms. Baby bellas also work if they're on sale. 

1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes, or more to taste

Meh. You won't miss it if you don't care for spicy things. 

1/2 tsp dried basil 

Use more if you increase the mushrooms, or you feel like it. 

1/2 tsp paprika

Use more if you increase the mushrooms, or you feel like it. 

1/2 tsp crushed garlic

I always use 2 to 10 times as much garlic as is called for. I use minced garlic from a jar for everything, because why not? For this recipe, I use a dinner fork's scoop of garlic, which is probably a bit less than 2 tsp. 

2 cans chickpeas/garbanzo beans (15 oz. each), drained and rinsed

3 cups spinach or baby kale, tightly packed (5 ounces) 

I always use exactly one package of prewashed spinach. I think it's 8 oz. 

Salt and black pepper to taste

2 tbsp roasted salted sunflower seeds (optional topping)

Use this. It's good. Just don't go overboard or you will drown out the flavor of the actual dish.

Heat olive oil in a sauté pan over medium till hot but not smoking. Place the mushroom slices into the pan. Let them fry undisturbed for 3 minutes. (I always disturb them. What fun is cooking if you can’t poke things with a spoon? But do try to mostly leave them alone. Get your rinsing done now.) 

Stir and continue frying till the mushrooms are golden brown. Season with salt and pepper. Add the dry spices. Stir to coat the mushrooms. Add the garlic. Stir and cook for 1 minute till fragrant.

Stir in the chickpeas till all ingredients are well combined. Let the chickpeas heat up for 2 minutes, stirring as they warm.

The recipe here calls for adding 2 tbsp water. I always have liquid in the bottom of the pan, from the wet chickpeas and the cooked mushrooms. If your mixture is bone-dry, add 2 tbsp water now, otherwise, just bring the liquid in the bottom of the pan to a boil, then dump the fresh spinach on top of the chickpeas.

Reduce heat to medium low. Cover the pan and allow spinach to cook for about 5 minutes, or until wilted (sad and shrunken and bright green and limp). Stir the spinach into the chickpeas and mushrooms. Season with more salt and pepper to taste. 

Turn heat to medium and let the mixture continue to cook till excess liquid has evaporated. (I generally cook for a few minutes, then get annoyed and turn the heat off and eat it as fast as I can, because the house smells good and I'm hungry. If you don't cook off all the excess liquid, you won't suffer.)

Sprinkle with roasted sunflower seeds (optional, and red pepper flakes, extra optional) and serve

[foundcarcosa]

ccvii.

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? >> Height isn’t important to me. I’m slightly taller than Can Calah, shorter than Eden, and substantially smaller in general than Vinternoll, and that’s the way I like it. (I am usually around the same height in headspace as I am in meatspace) 2: What’s your dream pet (real or not)? >> Gaudior the winged unicorn (A Swiftly Tilting Planet)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? >> I have quite a few favourite clothing styles. I’ll always be some sort of goth at heart, I will say.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? >> My favourite computer games were The Logical Journey of the Zoombinis and Alien Tales. I had like a weird kid-crush on Sal of deCentury, the alien game show host... (and who at all is surprised)

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: >> Oh, I don’t know.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? >> Warning: Black Carcosa is a caustic irradiated substance. Prolonged contact with Black Carcosa may cause severe mental deterioration, burns and lesions (or legions, even), and enhanced delusions of reference. Please consult your psychologist before engaging Black Carcosa. Keep away from children, pets, your electronics, and anything else whose innocence and integrity you hold dear.

7: What is your Greek personality type (Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic)? >> Primarily Phlegmatic, it seems.

8: Are you ticklish? >> Not usually.

9: Are you allergic to anything? >> No.

10: What’s your sexuality? >> There are a lot of things I’d gladly fuck, but not a whole lot of humans.

11: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? >> I greatly prefer tea.

12: Are you a cat or dog person? >> My preference leans towards dogs.

13: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? >> I identify most with elves, out of the three. 

14: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? >> No.

15: How tall are you? >> 5′4″.

16: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? >> I’d like to not wish to change my name anymore, actually.

17: How much do you weigh? >> Somewhere between 130 and 135 lbs.

18: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? >> I am open to the experience.

19: Do you like space or the ocean more? >> I am more interested in what lies beyond this planet than what lies on it, although this planet is also extremely fascinating in all its complexity.

20: Are you religious? >> Intensely.

21: Pet peeves? >> Passivity.

22: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal (opposite of nocturnal)? >> I... am fine being mostly nocturnal.

23: Favorite constellation? >> Orion. Always Orion.

24: Favorite star? >> I haven’t chosen one.

25: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? >> Sure, especially custom ones.

26: Any phobias or fears? >> Meh.

27: Do you think global warming is real? >> I understand climate change as a process that occurs, yes.

28: Do you believe in reincarnation? >> I am open to the experience.

29: Favorite movie? >> The Fountain / Interstellar.

30: Do you get scared easily? >> No.

31: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? >> I used to take care of a couple of cats, for a short time. Fyodor and Hela. But almost all of the pets I’ve lived with have technically been under the custodianship of others.

32: What is a color that calms you? >> Soft, slightly desaturated bluish-grey.

33: Where would you like to travel and/or live? >> I would prefer to live in New Orleans and travel anywhere.

34: Where were you born? >> Elizabeth, New Jersey.

35: What is your eye color? >> Dark brown.

36: Introvert or extrovert? >> Mostly introvert. Entirely disinterested in “introvert culture”.

37: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? >> I am open to the experience (and especially attracted to astrology, as I’m sure my reblogs suggest).

38: Hugs or kisses? >> Meh.

39: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? >> I’m fine not doing that.

40: Who is someone you love deeply? >> Can Calah.

41: Any piercings you want? >> Sure, if the opportunity presented itself. My focus is mostly on tattoos.

42: Do you like tattoos and piercings? >> Quite.

43: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? >> I smoke occasionally.

44: Talk about your crush, if you have one! >> My crushes at this point are pretty much celebrities and fictional characters, which is to say I have way too many of them to answer this question.

45: What is a sound you really hate? >> Mouth sounds.

46: A sound you really love? >> The sounds people make when they’re aroused but trying to keep it together.

47: Can you do a backflip? >> Not even a little bit. I saw a video where someone taught himself how to do backflips in a single afternoon. I was duly impressed.

48: Can you do the splits? >> No.

49: Favorite actor and/or actress? >> Idris Elba. Actress... maybe Rutina Wesley.

50: Favorite book? >> Ha!

51: How are you feeling right now? >> Neutral.

52: What color would you like your hair to be right now? >> I really don’t care.

53: When did you feel happiest? >> ---

54: Something that calms you down? >> Time.

55: Have any mental disorders? >> I’m more than pretty sure I do, but I haven’t been properly diagnosed a day in my life.

56: What does your URL mean? >> It was a play on “Lost Carcosa”. It eventually came to just represent... me. Now it’s a brand of sorts, so I am loath to use any other username (save for blackThirteen, which I sometimes use on websites where it’s not already taken by someone else; blackThirteen + foundCarcosa = blackCarcosa, which is what I really should be using, but it’s a little late now).

57: What three words describe you the most? >> Just three? Ha!

58: Do you believe in evolution? >> I have been convinced of evolution’s veracity.

59: What makes you unfollow a blog? >> Over a month of inactivity or a change to content that doesn’t interest me are the two main reasons I unfollow. Sometimes I unfollow for things like political platforming or too much unsourced content or having too much of the same kind of content on my dashboard or... any number of reasons, really. Sometimes a person’s opinion (or the way they present their opinion) just pisses me off and I’m not invested enough in the blog to keep them around anyway.

60: What makes you follow a blog? >> Content that I enjoy, usually. It’s pretty simple. Sometimes I have compulsive following sprees and then I have to prune later, which is a thing about myself that I’ve just gotten used to.

61: Favorite kind of person: >> Right.

62: Favorite animal(s): >> Snakes, spiders, otters, capybaras, and so on.

63: Name three of your favorite blogs. >> transistorxiii, lilithsconcubine (bet money she’ll have changed her url again by the time I post this, lmao), coldalbion.

64: Favorite emoticon: >> The cry-laughing one. I abuse the shit out of that face.

65: Favorite meme: >> Right now, probably BONELESS or that one image with the guy and the two girls that is so goddamn versatile that I haven’t gotten sick of it yet despite the fact that it’s everywhere.

66: What is your MBTI personality type? >> My last result was INTJ. I don’t care much for MBTI anymore.

67: What is your star sign? >> Gemini sun, Gemini moon, Scorpio rising, etc etc.

68: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? >> ---

69: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? >> Ghast brand rave pants and a Doctor Strange shirt, it seems.

70: Post a selfie or two? >> http://foundcarcosa.tumblr.com/tagged/this-malleable-shell

71: Do you have platform shoes? >> I don’t.

72: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? >> I used to be extremely competent at Guitar Hero / Rock Band because back when those games were popular, Best Buy and Circuit City would have stations set up in their stores where you could play them; and because I was homeless and tumblr wasn’t invented to become my biggest timesink yet, I would just stay in the stores playing guitar games all day. So I got good at it. As one does.

73: Can you do a front flip? >> No.

74: Do you like birds? >> Sure.

75: Do you like to swim? >> I can’t swim, so I don’t know if I’d like it or not. I mean, probably.

76: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? >> I can’t do either.

77: Something you wish didn’t exist: >> Meh.

78: Some thing you wish did exist: >> Everything I can conceive does exist... in some form, on some plane.

79: Piercings you have? >> Earlobes and septum.

80: Something you really enjoy doing: >> Playing video games.

81: Favorite person to talk to: >> Can Calah.

82: What was your first impression of Tumblr? >> I was extremely confused by tumblr when I first tried it out. So I abandoned it for a little over a year, and then I had to make a new account when I came back because I’d forgotten the login for the old one.

83: How many followers do you have? >> Here, 629.

84: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? >> I can’t run a mile, period.

85: Do your socks always match? >> No. I don’t bother matching my socks. Mismatched ones are more fun, anyway.

86: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? >> No.

87: What are your birthstones? >> Emerald, I think? I forget the other.

88: If you were an animal, which one would you be? >> *waggles Mordred’s spidery legs*

89: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? >> Probably a black calla lily.

90: A store you hate? >> Abercrombie and Fitch. Their store is fragranced or something. Like they put cologne swatches in the air ducts. IDFK. It’s aggravating. Also, I hate that kind of fashion.

91: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? >> I usually drink zero. 

92: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? >> Flying is more interesting than being Sookie Stackhouse.

93: Do you like to wear camo? >> No.

94: Winter or summer? >> I have a preference for winter.

95: How long can you hold your breath for? >> I don’t know.

96: Least favorite person? >> ---

97: Someone you look up to: >> *insert obvious joke here*

98: A store you love? >> Trash & Vaudeville. I wonder if it’s closed / moved yet.

99: Favorite type of shoes >> I prefer combat boot type shoes.

100: Where do you live? >> *grumbles*

101: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? >> Pescatarian. I just don’t care for meat much. I’ll eat a chicken sandwich sometimes, but otherwise I’ll stick to seafood.

102: What is your favorite mineral or gem? >> Smoky quartz is nice. Bismuth is cool as shit. Geodes are where it’s at, though.

103: Do you drink milk? >> No.

104: Do you like bugs? >> Most of them, yeah.

105: Do you like spiders? >> My children. <3

106: Something you get paranoid about? >> My physical health, sometimes.

107: Can you draw?: >> I can. I can’t draw well, though.

108: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? >> I don’t know. Nosy questions don’t bother me, though.

109: A question you hate being asked? >> Anything regarding my gender. Like, who cares. Stop boring me.

110: Ever been bitten by a spider? >> Not that I’m aware of.

111: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? >> Oh, yes.

112: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? >> It depends on how I feel that day in general. Either is good, but sometimes one is definitely better than the other.

113: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: >> ---

114: Favorite cloud type: >> Definitely cumulonimbus.

115: What color do you wish the sky was? >> My eyes interpret the sky as a variety of colours depending on time of day, weather conditions, and what pair of sunglasses I have on, and you know what, that’s good enough for me.

116: Do you have freckles? >> No.

117: Favorite thing about a person: >> ---

118: Fruits or vegetables? >> All of the above.

119: Something you want to do right now: >> I’m fine with what I’m doing.

120: Is the ocean or sky prettier? >> How could I possibly choose one over the other...? I like it best when I can observe both at the same time, actually. Maximum loveliness.

121: Sweet or sour foods? >> Savoury, spicy, sour. Sweetness only as a balancing agent.

122: Bright or dim lights? >> Dim and diffuse, always.

123: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? >> I am open to all experiences.

124: Something you hate about Tumblr: >> The poor functionality bits. Coding issues, inefficiency in design, stuff I can’t do anything about because I don’t work there.

125: Something you love about Tumblr: >> Everything else, more or less. I wouldn’t spend so much time here if I wasn’t genuinely enjoying myself.

126: What do you think about the least? >> How would I know?

127: What would you want written on your tombstone? >> I am not interested in a tombstone at all.

128: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? >> Someone sexy who had a kink for being punched in the face.

129: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? >> The fact that I am so easily bored and so interested in experience leads to interesting experiences and a tendency to be open to new things... but sometimes it just leads to recklessness and irritability.

130: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? >> Yeah, most of the time.

131: Computer or TV? >> Computer, which is often used as a television anyway.

132: Do you like roller coasters? >> I do.

133: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? >> No.

134: Are your ears free or attached? >> Unattached.

135: Do you believe in karma? >> The original concept of karma is more understandable to me than the modern colloquial definition.

136: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? >> I’m a solid 8 to myself, but you know.

137: What nicknames do you have/have had? >> Rev, Eddie, and Dio are my most used nicknames as of now.

138: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? >> I have always had Companions.

139: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? >> Yes.

140: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? >> It doesn’t matter to me either way.

141: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? >> I love to give gifts, but I also love to receive them. No reason I should have to choose. What I hate is compulsory gift exchanging. Miss me completely with that bull mess.

142: What makes you angry?: >> Eh.

143: How many languages do you speak fluently? >> One.

144: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? >> Meh.

145: Are you androgynous? >> More or less.

146: Favorite physical thing about yourself: >> I am pretty fond of my facial shape and features, and the kinda “greyboy” androgynous shape of my body. Also, this melanin is poppin. I would gladly take a little more, even.

147: Favorite thing about your personality: >> What’s a personality?

148: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. >> Meh?

149: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? >> Why would I do that?

150: Do you like BuzzFeed? >> It hasn’t given me reason to dislike it.

151: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? >> I met Sparrow on tumblr.

152: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? >> No.

153: Do you like to play with others’ hair? >> That used to be a big stim of mine, but Tommy, my first boyfriend, broke me out of that pretty badly and I never got back into it. It’s like a mental block now. Aggravating.

154: What embarrasses you? >> Meh?

155: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: >> ---

156: Biggest lie you have ever told: >> I have no idea.

157: How many people are you following? >> 1,047 right now.

158: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? >> This will be #20,540.

159: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? >> 6.

160: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? >> 87,104.

161: Last time you cried and why: >> The last memory of crying that I have is when I was listening to these videos of Pearl Jam songs with just the vocals and guitar solos isolated. I lost my shit in the middle of “Black” and the only reason I remember is because I thought to myself, fucking hell, some tumblr survey is going to ask me about the last time I cried and I’m gonna have to tell the congregation that I cried because I love Eddie Vedder too much and I started laughing like an idiot.

162: Do you have long or short hair? >> Short. Very short.

163: Longest your hair has ever been: >> To my shoulders, I think, as a child. Not including weaves, braids, and so on.

164: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? >> I love religion because... oh, I don’t know. It’s one of those things I don’t question too much because I’m not sure it has an easy answer. It just deeply resonates with me, is all. Yes, the whole concept of religion. Not any specific one, or anything. Just the root of it all. I don’t like what people do with religion a lot of the time, not at all... but whatever. People gonna people.

165: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? >> Well, sure. It’s fucking fascinating. Even if the theories are only theories, they’re still interesting to me. I’ll probably never know, but that won’t ever stop me from being curious.

166: Do you like to wear makeup? >> Yes.

167: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? >> No.

168: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? >> Sure.

[isempiterna]

★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS YOUR MUSE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE.

TAGGED BY: nicked it from @starbrosforever eyyyy TAGGING: @blasianbutterfly, @silhcuetted, @merrickals, @odharnaiit, do u wanna do it? do it

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

    Lark.     Sparrow.

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

    Yeah, that is my real name. My mom likes birds.     Sparrow...Weave? Er, Grace Weave. Oh, sorry, Grace is my middle name, I mean—     Sparrow Grace Weave is my full name. Is that...?

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?

    Oh. Guess I just answered that in the last question, oops.     Well my mother loves birds quite a lot, aha. Although I’m not sure why she chose Sparrow,     specifically.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

    Single—for now.     Single.

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?

    You mean like if I could choose one? Super strength. Oldie but a goldie, and     everyone loves a classic. Especially if it means I get to lift cars. Alternatively, though,     I make a pretty good latte.     I...don’t think I really have any? Or, well, none worth mentioning. Oh, but I do play the     violin, if that counts.

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

    Brown, but like a really light brown. Like, really light. Think pennies—so copper, I     guess.     Blue.

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?

    I came this close to going cherry red, but in the end it never happened.      No—I expect it would be rather difficult if I did try, though.

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

    Oh yeah, my family’s huge. Mostly they’re over in Europe, though.     Yes, but my father’s side of the family is...rather distant.

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

    Not right now, no.     No, but I think I’d like to have one eventually.

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

    Bullies. Hypocrites. Cold weather, God, who’s idea was that? But Sparrow likes it, so     whatever. It can stay.     Um...cruelty. 

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

    I like to hit the gym and hit things at the gym. I also play piano.     Well I love to read, and journal, too. I try to go running at least once every day, and I play     the violin. Every now and then I’ll paint a bit, but I don’t think I’m very good at it, aha.

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

    Oh yeah.     Never intentionally, but...sometimes intentions don’t matter. I certainly hope I haven’t,     though.

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?

    Not yet. No, I’m kidding, I wouldn’t kill someone. I mean, maybe I would—but right     now I wouldn’t.     No, I could never...no.

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

    Well I like food, and I like being warm. So either a cat or some kind of reptile. I’m not     cuddly enough to be a cat, though.     Um...? Hm. I’m not sure.

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

    Acting before I think, I guess. I’ve gotten way better about it, though, especially since     I can’t just punch a rude customer and be done with it. I’ve got a business to think     about.     I suppose...I’m not very decisive? 

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?

    ...My dad, I guess. I don’t really go for the whole role model deal, but if I had to pick     one I’d go with my dad.     My mother. I think she’s really a wonderful person, and I’m glad to be a part of her life.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

    I’m bi, personally, but hey. You do you.     Er...hm. I suppose I would be straight...?

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

    Not anymore, but I did manage to graduate.     Yes, I’m actually a sophomore in college right now.

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?

    Meh, I dunno. Maybe if I find the right person.     I would love to be able to raise kids, but...I’m not sure about marriage. Ah, not that I     wouldn’t get married I just...can’t really imagine it?

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?

    Nah. Friends, sure.     Oh, no.

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

    Anything bad happening to Sparrow. Um...I’d really hate to lose the café, but I don’t     think I’d classify that as a fear.     Losing my loved ones.

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

    Comfy stuff. If I can’t move in it, I’m not wearing it.     Nothing too...elaborate, I guess. Or would “flashy” be a better term?

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

    My sister. My family. No “significant other” if that’s what you mean.     My family and friends.

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?

    Middle class, I guess. I’m comfortable but not rolling in cash or anything.     Um...somewhere in the middle class. Maybe lower middle, taking debt into account.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

    A lot, maybe. There are a lot of people I call friends, but not so many I’d consider     close friends. A good amount, though.     A few.

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

    What kind and who made it? I mean you can’t really go wrong with apple pie. Or     banana cream. Not really a big fan of key lime, though. Makes my teeth feel     funny.     I like it. I like that there’s so much variety.

27. FAVORITE DRINK?

    Any kind of coffee drink, but I tend to prefer it sweet. Also orange soda.     Ah, that’s difficult. I suppose teas? Maybe fruit teas. Or flower-based teas. There are quite a     lot of each, though, so...I suppose I’ll just go with “tea,” aha.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?

    I like hanging out at the café, but I also like just spending time at home with Sparrow.     I kind of really want her to move in with me, but at the same time I want her to have     fun at college. As long as it’s a good experience, I’d hate for her to miss out on it.     I really enjoy spending time at the library, or public gardens. I don’t go shopping very often,     but it’s fun to go with Lark.

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?

    Nothing serious, just passing interest. There are a lot of cute people that come     through the café, okay?     Oh, no, not right now.

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE?

    Wow, gender biased much? Keep your inappropriate questions away from Sparrow,     thanks.

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

    Depends on the lake. Probably ocean, though. Check out that coral reef.     I don’t really mind, I think either would be lovely. This is where my bad habit comes in, aha.

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?

    Let’s be real, looks are generally what we notice first, and who doesn’t like looking at     cute people? Gotta be someone I’m comfortable with, though. And they have to get     along with Sparrow, that’s non-negotiable. Call me crazy but it’s a deal-breaker.     There’s no good reason to not like Sparrow anyway, so just don’t be an asshole and     you’re fine. Otherwise...hm. I mean, it’s not like I’ve got a rule book written out.     Either we click or we don’t.     Oh, um...well, I suppose someone kind...? Er, I haven’t really thought on it much...

34. ANY FETISHES?

    I don’t see how that’s your business unless we’re going to be collaborating in them.     (And don’t you dare ask Sparrow this, I’ll break your god damn face.)

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

    Where’s the fun if you can’t switch it up? (Face-breaking is still applicable, by the     way. Don’t you do it. Don’t test me.)

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?

    Why not both. Camping is fun, but I wouldn’t want to do it all the time.     I think camping with company is nice.

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?

    Are you waiting for this interview to be over?     Not really? Not that I’d want it to go on forever, but I think it was rather fun, aha.

[mongoose-and]

Class Order Hall Campaigns: Rated (7.1.5)

From Best -> Worst

Druid

Shaman

Death Knight

Warrior

Monk

Mage

Warlock

Demon Hunter

Rogue

Priest & Paladin (Tied)

Paladin & Priest (Tied)

Hunter (get wreckt)

Reasons below the cut (Spoilers)

For the sake of discussion, I will absolutely be conflating the Artifact quest lines in with the class Campaign quests.

1. Druid - Druid's campaign basically breaks the curve by sheer scope. The campaign focuses on one major theme for this part of the expansion, and just expands on it beautifully. You are charged with protecting the Emerald Dreamway, rescuing Malorne, and eventually saving the Emerald Dream from the forces of both the Legion and the Emerald Nightmare. Between the beauty of the different zones, the massive gatherings of druids, exploration of Druid lore, and getting to relive the War of the Ancients at Mount Hyjal, none of the other class campaigns quite compare to sheer magnitude of history and lore that Druids get to explore. It also doesn’t hurt that Druid is an amazing class to play in its own right and each artifact quest is clever and interesting (except the Balance questline. That was pretty weak TBH). This campaign really made me feel the ‘class fantasy’.

2. Shaman - Close contender for being almost as epic as the druid campaign. The major theme of the Shaman questline is leading the Earthen Ring and uniting the Elemental Lords against the Legion, which is kinda like bargaining with a bunch of perpetually angry, murderous children to team up and fight Communism. Nonetheless, the shaman campaign has fun and interesting quests as well as insight to how the Elementals work (or don’t work) with each other, and they make good use of a variety of former instances and questing zones (including a finale in the Firelands that is beautiful and hectic).

3. Death Knight - Another top contender given THAT FINALE THO. GET WRECKT PALIDANS YEAH- oh, nevermind. Really, my only complaint was that the very end of the finale fell short (should’ve just let us do it, Blizz), and that it wasn’t Dark Souls Hard the whole way. Everything else about the Death Knight campaign was fantastic - raising the new Four Horsemen, killing lots of people, causing mayhem, Lich King Bolvar. Superb stuff, all the way.

4. Warrior - The quest line that starts meh, gets good, gets great, then settles back into “good” again. Sadly, I think it was a missed opportunity to explore the warrior cultures of the Horde and Alliance, and instead focused entirely on the lore and history of the Titans / Vrykul. For what it is, though, I think Blizz did a great job, and I don’t see the quest line they built fitting into any of the other classes nearly as well. It wasn’t the story that we wanted or needed for Warriors, but it was the best damned way to tell the story they did. Also, lolz Ulduar quest zone~

5. Monk - This is a fine quest line that falls short by virtue of just not being as epic as the others. It’s also the questline that convinced me that the Vrykul story only really paired well with the Warrior class hall. It starts strong by basically trashing the set in at the Peak of Serenity in Pandaria, and takes you back to the Wandering Isle (remember there?). Then it proceeds to utterly destroy shit in Pandaria at literally every chance it gets, which is great fun. Then you make God Beer and defeat a winged commie space goat.

6. Mage - This is where the class hall quests start to get a bit underwhelming, TBH. The whole quest line revolves around Archmage Vargoth being weird, only to reveal that he was possessed by demons. Honestly, it’s not great on it’s own, and if it wasn’t presented as a ‘mystery’ that we all could solve within the first five seconds of stepping into the order hall, it probably would have been more interesting. However, throughout the quest line, you do get some cool lore, elves, stupid Khadgar tricks, more elves, vomiting deaders, gaggles of elves, a blue-haired dragon husband, too many elves, Milhouse Manastorm, and a free trip to your most hated (my favorite) dungeon from Wrath of the Lich King, THE OCULUS! Also, so many elves... even though they are shit at magic.

7. Warlock - High School Drama: The Anime: The Quest Line. Seriously, you could probably make a decent anime out of just about anything that happens with Warlocks - the angst, the interpersonal drama, the cute/disgusting monsters they subjugate to serve them, the unlikely capture/escape scenarios, the pink hair.  It manages to be clever and more interesting than some of the other quests, but it ultimately boils down to a whole lot meaningless drivel and a weird “choose your favorite girl to join your cool kids’ clique” decision at the end. And then you have the orc who keeps leaving butt-cinders *everywhere*.

8. Demon Hunter - Basically you finish what you started with the Demon Hunter starting zone. And then you fight twins in what is probably one of the better finales of all the quests. However, apart from a cool finale and the fact that you get your own space ship, there’s not really much about the Demon Hunter quest line that really excited me. Demon Hunters are insufferable characters in general, Korvas Bloodthorn doesn’t get to be your bodyguard, and if you picked Kayn Sunfury then you spend most of the time being just as terrible as Illidan was. I probably would have enjoyed this more if I didn’t pick Kayn, but I did and I regret my life choices, even if the Illidari CANNOT be STOGHPPPED!!!!

9. Rogue - Good: Tactical Espionage Action. Pirates. Mattias Shaw is a dreadlord. Garona, Vaneesa VanCleef, Taoshi, and Valeera Sanguinar’s thighs all become your girlfriends. Bad: Trolling the AH for mats while Noggenfogger sits on his ass and blackmails you. Amber Kearnan dies offscreen and zero fucks are given. Getting killed in Stormwind repeatedly by Fury warriors (okay, I lied about that last part, that was pretty lolzy). Worst: you have to play a Rogue in order to experience any of it. Also, exactly one of the artifact quests are fun to do and it’s not the one it should be.

10. Priest & Paladin (Tied) - I have to tie these because they’re basically the same flipping thing, with only the artifact quests and maybe half of the actual campaign quests to distinguish them. I wanted to praise Blizz by showing overlap / interaction between the different classes, but they basically went overboard here, by recycling plot points and even the finale, altogether. Also, Netherlight Temple is a dumb idea, akin to moving NORAD into a base in Afghanistan because Al-Qaeda would NEVER think to look there (....well, until they do). Priests arguably have it worse because they don’t even get to be the hero of their own class hall mission (that goes to the Paladins) - AND you have to play a Priest for the privilege of this nonsense, which is arguably the worst punishment one can experience. Paladins, on the other hand, get meaningless choices and suffer the indignity of watching every single champion of theirs make fools of themselves at the first opportunity. Also, both sides visit each others halls, but nobody gets murdered in the process. Also also, wtf is a Lothraxxion and why - I did this shit twice and I still don’t know, he just shows up like a shiny sparkle vampire. Also also also - sigh - Night Elf Paladins when, Blizz? :/

12. Hunter - My beloved Main’s class campaign was also arguably the weakest and least interesting. The artifact quests are fine enough (though Marksman could have just dropped a bigger dime on Allleria than “she ain’t here, but she was”) but the main core of the hunter quest - while probably the most grounded and true to the Hunter’s ‘class fantasy’ - was a snooze fest compared to the other campaigns. The Unseen Path as a concept is cool but overall underwhelming to me - their super-clandestine nature means that they try to stay out of the way of cool things happening, but they don’t have the benefit of being a bunch of spies and thieves to have any intrigue to back it up. They swear an oath and then sit around a lodge and snack, occasionally plinking arrows at targets literally right in front of them. There are cool, all-too-brief detours when you go to recruit champions like Rexxar, Nesingwary, and Addie Fizzlebog, but even they aren’t enough to uplift an otherwise boring plot involving hunting down a felguard and his super felstalkers. In terms of scope and grandeur: If the Druid campaign was ‘class fantasy’ being used to tell an epic tale of saving the planet and exploring history with an army of allies, the Hunter campaign was ‘class fantasy’ being used to tell a story about how you did a crossword puzzle while on vacation this one time. On the plus side, the Hunter quest line has you play with a dog, and the Druid quest line does not.

...

...

...

...I take it back. Hunter quest line 12/10. Best quest line. Best ever. <3 <3 <3

Come on Baron! Let’s go~

[housebeleren]

Commander 2019 New Cards

Alright, after looking at all the new Legendary creatures, it’s time to review all the other cards in the Commander 2019 decks. Since there are a lot of them, I’m going to blaze through these quickly. So let’s get to it.

Honestly, I’m not really seeing it. Most of the time, it’s going to function as a bad extra turn spell for a deck that needs it but doesn’t have access to Blue. Even then, is it really worth it? Given that you have to let your left opponent get a turn before you can take an extra one, I’m not thinking so.

If it had Haste, it’d be phenomenal. As is, there are some decks that may still be interested. Mono-Red decks, Vampire decks, and Madness decks (shocker there) might all find uses for it.

Apex Altisaur is enormous, and it’ll take out any number of creatures you want when it hits the field. Obviously Gishath Dino decks will want this, and I can definitely see it finding a home in Mayael (or similar) decks as well. Even just really big ramp decks could make it happen.

Archfiend is a decent deal at 5 mana, but just a little too costly at 7 mana given that it has no immediate impact. Could be a fun inclusion in Kaalia builds. Might hold back a few attackers, but mostly it’ll just get swept up in board wipes ore straight up killed if you’re casting it for full cost.

Cute. Problem is most of the decks that want another Past in Flames don’t really want to have a 5 drop creature telegraphing their big turn. I do like that it doesn’t cost anything on the attack, so it gives you more mana to play with once you get it started. But most storm decks don’t have much room for this, so it’ll be relegated to 75% spellslinger builds.

Quite honestly, this is one of my favorite new cards in the set. In many cases, this is going to function like straight-up removal, all for cheap generic mana, and with the possibility to reuse, if the creatures get removed or traded with. And generally, even if your opponents have Artifact removal, there are likely going to be more pressing targets on board. I’m absolutely going to try this in a few decks.

Bone Miser is Waste Not for your own discards, so automatically there are some decks (like Nekusar wheels) that will be interested. I do wish it were a little bit cheaper, though. Like, why did this have to be a 5 mana 4/4? I’d have happily traded a few points of P/T for one or two mana off the cost.

Basically like a one-shot Mother of Runes. Cute if you have recursion and some stuff you reaaaally want to protect, basically unplayable if you don’t.

Does absolutely fuck all if you’ve yet to cast your commander, and is a strictly worse Glorious Anthem if you’ve cast your commander once. If you’re already had to cast your commander twice it’s a slightly cheaper Dictate of Heliod. A card which... doesn’t really see play. If you’ve got a really cheap commander like Rhys the Redeemed, or in some sort of Sidar Kondo partner build, I guess it’s possible. But I’m thinking cutting this is a really easy first upgrade to these precons. (After fixing the godawful mana base, that is.)

Okay, but is it weird that my first thought for this card is to try it out in my Oloro deck? That deck is all about the lifegain triggers, and this draws out the entire deck when paired with Drogskol Reaver or Lich’s Mastery, or, more slowly, with Oloro himself or Well of Lost Dreams. In other words, it’s a combo piece for a Lab-Man win. Curse decks are also a thing in casual circles, and this is a fun inclusion for those as well. You could also try it in a wheels deck, but it’s unfortunate it only hits one opponent when used that way.

Calling it now, this is the best new non-Legendary card in the set. Red decks will be all over this, and it’s not hard to imagine scenarios where this generates 10 or more mana for a tiny investment. Even early, he’s likely to make up for his casting cost and ramp you into your bigger spells. This is a huge boon for Red decks, and if you have a cheap way to recur or retrigger his ability, he’s phenomenal.

It’s been pointed out that the combination of artwork and flavor text is very ableist in tone, and I can’t disagree. The art is very evocative, but the flavor text is really unfortunately worded. Regarding the ability, I don’t think it’s that great. It makes tokens too slowly to be threatening, and then he has to die before they can swing? I’ll pass. The one exception I can think of are sacrifice decks that need another Ophiomancer effect. Something to continually churn out a token every turn could be useful in the right context.

I actually really like Empowered Autogenerator. It’ll be too slow for a lot of decks, but you only need a few turns to get it going, and it’s likely to be a low priority target until it’s generating at least 3 or more mana. In a deck with cards like Unwinding Clock, Voltaic Key, or proliferation, this can get out of control pretty quickly. I’m willing to try it out.

This... doesn’t seem great. Maybe if you can create insane amounts of mana, you can make a little army or something? It’s probably best if you can copy tokens that have an ETB effect of some kind, but even then, I’m not seeing it.

As a Rolling Thunder variant, you could do worse. I really wish this could hit Planeswalkers and players too, because that would at least give it some added utility as a potential kill spell. As is, I doubt it has much potential.

This is cute. First of all, it’s an Indestructibility for Black, which makes it somewhat interesting if you’re looking to keep your commander or another crucial creature safe. But lots of Black decks have piles of sac fodder, which means this can often be cast for 3. Some decks with commanders essential to their plan may be interested in this.

Hate mirage is interesting. Ideally, you’ll want to find creatures with good ETB effects, but since you can’t pick your own creatures, you’re are the mercy of your opponents’ decks. In general, I think it’s not going to be good enough to merit a slot in most decks outside of Ghired, and even then it’s unsure.

Most of the time, this is only going to be the first ability, so I mainly see it being useful in decks that make lots of tokens. There’s some fun synergy with The Locust God, but I’m not sure if it’s enough to warrant a slot. It also works really well with cards like Smothering Tithe, because it doesn’t specify you have to create a creature token. Probably the best use for this would be in a token-centric White deck that doesn’t have lots of good access to card draw otherwise.

Fun flashbacky twist on Light Up the Stage and similar effects. It feels like it’s just slightly on the underpowered edge for most decks, but there might be some that like it for flavor or just for the fun of it. I do like that it doesn’t whiff if you hit lands, as you can still play those. There’s possibly some fun for it in a deck like Vial Smasher, since it can be some quick card advantage early, and once you have plenty of mana, casting it for 8 is a huge hit to the dome, plus can set you up for some other big plays. I dunno, it’s worth experimenting with.

Another fun morph counter variant to add to the morph pile. I also like that the cost to turn it up is pretty negligible, which makes this a fun trick people won’t be expecting. I’d play it in a dedicated morph deck, and probably not anywhere else.

Man oh man, people are salty about this card. And I’m here to say it really doesn’t matter. Honestly guys, this card is just not good enough to bother including in your deck. If you play against the same 3 decks every week, and those decks are Uril, Narset, and Sigarda, then by all means, run this card. But this is a card to answer specifically fucked up metas, and it’s just not good enough to run in your deck generically. Cus guess what, you’ll end up playing this against at a table against Oloro, Edgar, and Other Sigarda, and then won’t you feel fucking stupid? Yes, you will. Not a card worth being butthurt over when they’re printing cards like God-Eternal Kefnet in Standard.

Mandate of Peace is interesting. It’s a superpowered Fog that not only saves you for a turn, but also can counter any attack triggers that are on the stack in the process. If you’re running a deck that is interested in Fog effects, this is possibly the best one out there now, barring particularly synergistic things like Constant Mists in a lands deck or something.

Variant on a Polymorphist’s Jest. The cheaper cost and Flashback are nice, but Sorcery is a huge downside, since one of the big use cases of Jest is as a large-scale combat trick. Also, not nullifying abilities is unfortunate, since that’s the other place that Jest really shines. (Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve cast Polymorphist’s Jest against an Elf deck and suddenly their giant pile of synergies all turn off. It’s glorious.) Given all that, I’m not seeing it. Seems like an easy cut from the Flashback deck.

And here it is, the long-promised Black Enchantment removal. And honestly... meh. It’s cute, but the fact that your opponent gets to chose their worst among their Creatures and Enchantments makes me not think it’s going to work very often to hit the targets you want. Fun Standard card though. Oh wait...

As for Black Enchantment removal in general... I’m fine with it. I like that they’re not allowing for targeted removal. The ship has long since sailed on this, but I actually would have loved to see Blue get tertiary Enchantment removal, since it makes the most sense to me, flavorfully. (Seriously, the trope of smart Wizards being able to undo Enchantments is totally a thing, whereas this is... we made you so sad you gave up your Enchantment? Ehhhh.) The reason they can’t give it to Blue is that 1) Blue doesn’t need help, and 2) they’re dedicated to this idea that Blue can’t destroy anything. But, if we could have gone back far enough, there are some things I would have shifted out of Blue and into other colors that do need help, and allowed Blue to have Enchantment removal. But I’m not in charge, as I continually remind myself...

Super cute. Exile is super relevant, and it shouldn’t be hard to hit most of the table with it. And with a little luck and work, you can even set this up to be asymmetrical in your favor. I do wish it cost 4 mana, but that might be too good given the exile. Either way, I’d expect some decks to make good use of this.

Really? Of all the effects Green doesn’t need, better card draw is pretty much top of the list in my book. Like, does Green really need a Coastal Piracy? No, it very much does not. I’m okay with this effect on individual creatures like Ohran Viper, and on Auras like Keen Sense, but on a mass scale? I don’t think Green needs this, and it also doesn’t make much flavorful sense. In other words, I think the card is pretty good, and I can’t imagine that it won’t see play. Particularly in Snake decks and go-wide token decks.

Group hug rejoice! This is an auto-include in Zedruu decks, since even if they never activate it, you’ll get do draw cards. Also, I could see it being possible in mono Red or White decks that would enjoy the ramp & card draw and don’t have lots of access to either. 

Pretty cute. It’s Nature’s Spiral with an upside, so I expect any decks running that will run this instead of or along with it. For decks with costly Commanders, this could merit inclusion. Shame you can’t put it in a Phage deck. 

Probably the best new card in the set, other than maybe the Treasure Pirate dude, and that’s saying a lot. Any Commander with a good ETB effect is going to slam this card for sure. Just... yeah.

Also cute. Obviously this has a home in Reaper King decks, just for the creature type. But it’s got potential in other decks as well. Lands decks will be interested in the recursion, and some colors like mono White might be interested just for the ramp. Combos well with Land Tax, but it would be a lot better if it cost 3.

Very cute. The place where I think this has the most potential would be in some sort of flicker commander like Brago or Roon, because they’ll allow you to cheat on the mana cost of big creatures with this. Since there’s no inherent card advantage here, I’d rather run Primordial Mist or Whisperwood Elemental if I care specifically about having face-down creatures.

In the Populate deck, I think this has a home. Anywhere else, this is not a very efficient way to deal with Graveyards. But if you have good stuff to Populate, that’s just the extra upside.

I enjoy this card quite a bit. It’s a spell version of Sun Titan, and the Flashback is great. I would consider this in any deck I run the Titan in, as an extra way to get that type of effect. I’m also considering it for my Taigam deck, since that thing loves value spells to reuse over and over.

Meh, hard pass. Sorry, but a 3/3 flier just isn’t a card worth including in your deck, even if it can recur now and then. Granted, it doesn’t specify where you have to cast your Commander from, so it is a little better than it could be, but generally I’m not seeing it.

Ohhhhh.... what a huge missed opportunity. Why didn’t this cost 3WW? Then it could have been the start of a mega-cycle along with Inexorable Tide with the text “Whenever you cast a spell, [Mechanic]”. Seriously, how cool would that have been? Super cool, that’s what. As-is, it’s decent in the Populate deck, but 6 mana is a lot for a card that doesn’t do anything on its own. Cute with Smothering Tithe & other Treasure Tokens, giving you a mana back on every spell you cast.

Awww what a cute lil nugget! I like this card. Great trick for decks with plenty of creature fodder, and obviously fantastic in Zedruu (who is somehow getting lots of goodies this time around). Split Second is extra fun, since they can’t even respond to it. I’d consider this in any Blue deck with a decent number of expendable creatures.

Hellion is best if you can power him out early. Otherwise, you can cast Obliterate for one mana more and honestly, if you’re going for Land destruction, why not just do that? Maybe Lands decks like Lord Windgrace may be into this, because then if you have the most lands, you can still make use of the lands in grave. But overall this doesn’t seem that great.

Fun little riff off Burning Vengeance and Secrets of the Dead. Plays well with Kykar and Past in Flames. Not saying that’s what you have to do with this, but I’ll wait for you to tell me if that doesn’t sound glorious.

7 mana is a lot, but this starts generating advantage pretty fast. Shame it doesn’t help mana fix, which makes this better in multicolored decks than mono-Black, which would be the main home I’d look for it. I’d also consider it in gain-control decks like Sen Triplets, because the second ability may become relevant if you’re stealing lots of shit. This is a very 75% card.

Nekusar says “Hiiiiiiiiiii!” This little guy is A) Fucking adorable and B) actually pretty good. You definitely want to get at least 3 cards off this for it to be good, but the upside is enormous. Wheels decks will be all over this.

I mean, that’s a solid ETB effect, and will frequently draw you 2-3 cards. But for most decks looking for this type of thing (i.e. Elfball), the cheaper casting cost of Elvish Visionary is a huge boon. I don’t see this getting lots of play, as those decks only have so much room for 4 drops.

Interesting. It’s a fusion of Clone and Dungeon Geists, but that is for some reason also a Wall. So really it plays something like a Sower of Temptation, but that only lets you get access to the abilities of the target. Looking at it that way, I’d rather play Sower of Temptation unless I’m in a Walls deck like Arcades, in which case this is a cute piece of tech.

Really cute. I love cards like this, and the fact that it triggers on ETB and on upkeep makes this way better than some. I’d consider running it in Chaos decks or in decks like Vial Smasher, and I’m definitely going to put it in my Rakdos the Showstopper build.

So that’s it. All the new cards from Commander 2019. I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty impressed. Usually most of the new non-Legendary cards feel like big whiffs, but most of these seem like they could go in at least one deck. That’s a great place to start and I’m excited to see which cards become major players.

Have fun with Commander 2019!

[thejpfdude-blog]

The Week in Anime (Christmas Edition!)

Salutations and welcome to a special edition of The Week in Anime! With my winter break starting, I’ve been able to catch up on all of the anime and now I have stuff to say about them, both good and bad (fortunately this time, it’s mostly good). Because there’s around 3-4 weeks of stuff to write about, I’m gonna revert back to my old style of TWiA for this week. That is, I’m gonna write a blurb for every show, and not give out any awards. And since most of the shows ended this week, it’s also kinda nice since I can talk about the show as a whole. Thus, there will be spoilers. That’s kinda self-explanatory, plus I usually use spoilers in my posts... but no matter, still nice to have a warning. So let’s start off this show with the usual...

The News Corner

Since it’s been a while since I had one of these posts, there’s bound to be a lot of anime news that I can talk about. Maybe important stuff like Shokugeki no Soma getting a “fourth season” in Spring, Boku no Hero Academia’s third season airing during the Spring, etc. But here’s what I think is the most important anime news of the past few weeks:

http://moetron.news/post/168065646960/back-street-girls-tv-anime-has-been-announced

Yes friends, Back Street Girls. Read the synopsis for yourself, since I don’t think I can do it justice by describing in my own words. Truly, a pinnacle in anime.

Ok seriously, this is... something. Something weird AF. But I’m not gonna lie, it got my attention. Obviously since I’m writing about it, but it did. So much so that I ended up reading the translated chapters of the manga. And I have to say... it’s not that bad. There definitely is the merit to the complaint that the three dudes have the same personality and thus would probably be better as one person, but they’re different enough that it wasn’t too much of a concern in the manga.

In its core this whole thing is a gag comedy. I don’t expect it to be deep with its topic, and neither should you whenever this show airs. Definitely gonna be an interesting show to watch when it does come out.

All righty, with that, let’s start the rankings/blurbs starting with my AOTS:

Rankings:

1 (0). Shokugeki no Soma S3 (8/10) COMPLETE

So when I heard that this show was gonna be one cour instead a standard two cour, I shared the same opinions as the thread commenters of /r/anime: “no”. But after watching the last episode, I have to say the season ended on a really good note. Soma sharing the info that Joichiro was his dad to Azami and Erina was a nice cliffhanger to the future events I don’t know much about, but heard meh things about.

Disregarding the future though, this season was miles better than the second season. It brought back the nice balance of intense cooking battles and relaxed slice-of-life moments that made the first season so fun to watch, something the second season lacked until the last few episodes with the Stagiaire Arc. The biggest issue has to be the animation, something I didn’t notice until I saw it being mentioned on discussion threads. At first I dismissed those claims, saying that all anime was like that and that people were being their circle-jerky selves. But I went back to the first season and yeah, I admit it got worse. There was a lack of action-y moments in the third season which were replaced with panning shots. Now I don’t think this is a huge issue, because let’s be honest the animation isn’t a big draw in Shokugeki: it’s the nice-looking food and the explanations about the nice-looking food. And this season delivered on those fronts, making it a super fun watch as long as I had something to eat/wasn’t hungry. Because otherwise I suffer from watching good food being made/explained while wanting said food, and that’s not fun.

Anyway, overall Shokugeki S3 gets a 8/10 from me. I would say I’m excited for the next season, but based on comments from manga readers I’m not expecting too much from the next season... though I would recommend the show if you haven’t watched it, since the first season is in my top 10 favorite anime and this season’s looking like my AOTY.

2 (+1). Just Because! (8/10) [11/12]

Mmm that’s good stuff. Most anime nowadays just are stuff that I watch and move on from. But with this show, it’s been both a really nice slice-of-life/drama/romance/kinda comedy(?) that’s brought out a lot of nostalgic and comfy moments. It’s rare for a show to get me so emotionally invested, but when it does you know something’s going right.

Since the last episode is airing next week, I don’t want to go too much into detail about the show in general yet. So I’ll just talk about this week’s episode. It reminded me a lot of the time I was applying for colleges. A painful experience, yet for some reason I felt a warm nostalgia through the whole time watching this. Plus it was a really nice set-up episode for the finale: we get Natsume passing, Komiya winning an award, and Eita maybe passing (it was kinda ambiguous). Who will win in this love triangle? Who will end up with who? Will anybody win? Why did I ask the same question three times? Find out next week in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!

I have to give credit to Pine Jam (the studio making this): all of this is amazing when you think about how much delays the show’s been going through. It seems like every other week the episode is delayed on Amazon Strike even when it aired on time in Japan (a sign that they just finished the episode). Yet the animation hasn’t taken a nosedive in quality and it’s kept a steady consistency in all aspects. Hopefully the finale ends the show on a high note because so far it’s been a fun ride.

3 (+2). Net-juu no Susume (6/10) COMPLETE

If there’s one word to sum up this show, it’s AWKWARD. But you know what, that’s totally fine. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s that the last few episodes focused on the real life relationship of our two main characters, Moriko and Sakurai, who were some pretty awkward kids.

Before I go deeper into that, let me talk about the show as a whole. The first half of it was a nice “romance” with minimal interruptions. Towards the middle, the show faltered a bit for me with Koiwai become more of a presence and that weird gray area when Moriko and Sakurai were finding out the truth about each other and their online characters. Then we get that end with the awkward. The last episode especially, though I enjoyed how cute the whole thing was... minus the washing machine cucking (and the kids in the end to a degree).

I know that’s probably what most people were disappointed in: nothing definite happened between Moriko and Sakurai. I was a bit bothered by it too, until I realized it was probably the best ending for the two. After all, they’re two people who don’t have experience with love or people in general. Why would you expect them to suddenly confess their feelings or even straight up kiss? It’s a bit unreasonable to think that, and so the hand-holding thing at the end was a good enough confirmation that yes, they are in a relationship.

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched the 11th episode/special yet. I wanted to finish the show and write my blurb before doing so. So maybe something more might happen... though based on the MAL rating, doesn’t look like it.

If there’s one thing that did bother me, it was the number of sheer coincidences that had to happen for everything to fall into place. I mean I know it’s anime but still... it’s a bit too much. I can’t get over the fact that they met not only once, but twice in sepearte MMOs. That’s about as good a chance as me getting 5 UR cards in a single 10+1 pull in School Idol Festival. Which never happens. I think.

Anyway, overall the show was pretty nice, albeit a bit forgettable (since I’ve already forgotten a lot about it already and it hasn’t even been a week since I finshed it). 6/10, would recommend if you like a good romance.

4 (-2). Juuni Taisen (6/10) COMPLETE

“I mean it ended the way I thought it did.”

That’s if we’re talking about the battle royale aspect of the show itself. Because the actual anime didn’t end with just that, but rather spent its last episode with Nezumi’s wish, which turned out to be a pretty lackluster end to a show that in hindsight, wasn’t as great as I thought it was. Now that sounds harsh, but I had this show rated pretty highly for most of the season. Overall the show wasn’t bad, but there were some questionable decisions such as spending two episodes on the twins (whose backstories weren’t particularly interesting) and not having Rabbit’s backstory. Though I guess not having Rabbit’s backstory works with his personality. But I was curious to see why he’s like that, which is something we’ll never find out.

There were a lot of good moments in the show, though. Most of the backstories of the characters were pretty interesting, and made what sounded like a cliche battle royale into a more interesting study of characters with differing personalities and techniques battling each other. I love competitions as much as the next guy, so seeing how each warrior matched up against each other really triggered the inner sports fan in me. So much so that if I wasn’t into the competition, I probably wouldn’t have liked this show as much. Overall a solid 6/10, would recommend for those into battle royales and interesting character stories.

5 (+1). Love Live! Sunshine!! 2nd Season (6/10) [12/13]

You know at this point, I accepted that idol shows aren’t for me. Their whole focus of “the power of friendship and miracles” really isn’t my thing, and honestly it’s my fault for not realizing that sooner. Now don’t get me wrong -- I’m still very much in idol hell. Just... in different ways via the music and mobile game (which I should really stop spending money on...).

Now to the actual show critique part. Taking the above statement into account, this was probably the better Love Live Sunshine season. But as of right now, I’m putting this as the lowest ranked show in the Love Live series. Something about the number of cheesy episodes just really got to me, culminating in the penultimate episode with the most cheese so far in Love Live.

Okay, I’m gonna stop talking about cheese and actually use real words. There were some really great episodes, which happened to be the character-focused episodes. My favorite definitely is the YohaRiko episode with the dog, with a close second being the Dia episode. Episodes like those still have good cheesiness to them, but the cheese is character-based and more relatable instead of “let’s shine” and other buzzwords. Plus it adds good depth to the characters: Dia went from my second-worst girl to right in the middle of the pack. Riko went to the top 3, and Yoshiko/Yohane, well she was already #1.

Speaking of characters, there were definitely a few that got shafted hard in terms of screentime and character development. You is definitely an example: even though the later episodes have focused on her relationship with Chika, I still wouldn’t know much about her if I didn’t read her profile-stuff on the wiki (I was bored okay). Like the fact she’s a Olympic-level high diver. Did you know that? I did. Maru’s another example of this, though that’s more getting reduced to memes which honestly a lot of characters in LL have been prone to. I do have to give props for developing the third-years though, because I can now see Mari as more than just “Shiny” and “It’s Joke”. We can all agree though: Chika least best girl. Everything the girl says is cheesy AF.

Having said all of this, if a third season were to happen (or a movie, given this season might be the last one), I’d still watch it no problem. Truly this is the power of idol hell.

We’ll see how the last episode goes, because it might just be the end of Aqours... :(

6 (+3). Osake wa Fuufu ni Natte kara (6/10) [12/13]

I think this is the first time a show I rated a 3 or lower rose back up to a good grade. But that’s what happens when you focus on not having your alcoholic main character be drunk, but rather have nice moments where they aren’t drunk. Because it feels cheap to me when they’re acting cutesy while drunk. Almost like it’s fake in a way. The last two episodes in particular were really nice because they were the backstory in how Chisato and Sora met, which was actually pretty cute. More episodes like that please.

7 (+1). Blend S (5/10) COMPLETE

Sigh... this was an interesting one. Let me just say this right now: the “relationship” between Dino and Maika was the one factor in ruining the show for me. Yeah, the fanservice was pretty iffy, but if the romance wasn’t a thing I would’ve enjoyed the show a lot more.

I loved the idea of different personas in a maid cafe type of thing. It reminds me a lot of my favorite channel on Youtube, Cow Chop. They play up their bits in a “role” for most videos, but in their podcasts and other miscellaneous stuff, they’re their real selves which is refreshing to see. Because their bits and roles, while funny in doses, would be horrible if it was their real personality. Which is how I feel about Blend S. If the characters’ personalities were actually their roles, the show would be annoying as heck. But because it’s just a role, it’s fun to see how different they are compared to their actual selves. How Maika unintentionally becomes sadistic. How Kaho is actually the nicest character in the show. How Mafuyu is actually the most savage character in the show. How Miu is... kinda the same actually. And how Hideri is... exactly the same.

...Oh. Never mind.

All that would’ve made this one of my favorites, but that romance though. It just really bothers me. Now I know it doesn’t bother a lot of people, and that’s fine. But I’m just not about the weird age gap. I’m not saying I hate age gaps in general, just that when the gap starts with a high school girl, it’s a bit questionable. This may sound shallow, but if Dino was a bit younger or Maika a bit older, I would be totally fine with it.

Speaking of that, having Maika be older (say 19 or 20) would make a lot of sense in the context of the show. A girl struggling to look for a job so she can study abroad: still makes sense if she’s college-aged, and relationship is ok-hands for me.

Disregarding the relationship, the characters were fun. Yes, even Hideri, though I think it really helps that the VA for the character is the same VA for Nico of Love Live fame. Really got the obnoxious idol character down pat, plus her deeper male voice was really well done. Sasuga Nico.

One last thing: the OP is pretty bomb. Yes, I know how meme’d the first few seconds of it got, but watch the rest of the opening. It’s very fun, reminiscent of the Working OPs (which this show shares some similarities with in other areas).

So with all this said, 5/10 would maybe recommend if you like moe shows. Also if you can disregard the Dino/Maika thing, which I see a lot of people are anyways... SMILE

SWEET

SISTER

SADISTIC

SURPRISE

SERVICE

WE ARE STILE

(expected the meme? Pls)

8 (-1). Animegataris (4/10) COMPLETE

So... what the actual baloney did I watch? Seriously, that went off the rails after a certain point, that point being the festival arc. I have so many questions that were left unanswered and just brushed under the rug with the explanation that “the anime world and real world are being combined”. Like... really?

Confusion aside, the show’s only nice aspect was the meta with its sick anime references, both with the industry and the fandom. A modern version of Genshiken in a way. The “namedrops” were pretty fun and the explanations for some of the industry norms were the best parts of the show for me. Unfortunately, that all went downhill after the first half of the season as the show went full meta and went towards the “combining worlds” plotline that just ended up confusing me. Though I do admit the finale of the show was nice, albeit a bit lackluster compared to the WTF-levels of the few episodes before it.

But just because a show is meta doesn’t mean it’s good. At the end of the day, this show just crammed references and meta without much consideration for the characters or the story, which were both somewhat underdeveloped.

Off topic: one thing that really bothered me was the whole thing with Yui fanservice right before the OP for the first nine episodes (which continued even towards the last scene of the show. So I was right that something would happen with that. It’s just that the thing was just an OP with only Yui (Just Yui). Now that would be fine if she had something to do with the events of that episode, but she didn’t. So... WHY. WHY DID THEY DO THAT. SERIOUSLY. I’M SO CONFUSED AND I’M SCREAMING NOW SEND HELP.

That’s basically how Animegataris made me feel during its latter half. The “wao how META” doesn’t work for me in this case, and so I leave it with an unsavory rating and a “don’t watch this unless you like sick anime references and meta AF plot.” 4/10.

So before we end, I know I said no awards, but there is a little one I wanted to mention:

The “Red Flags” On Hold Show of the Week: Pingu in the City

It’s not that the show itself is bad. But... I don’t know, I don’t really have the motivation to watch the show. That’s usually how these shows end up on hold: I lose motivation. Maybe I’ll watch it again sometime in the future. Maybe not. Maybe I get to the 100 other shows on my PTW list.

And that’s all for this week! Thanks for reading this extra-long post! Hopefully I’ll get my “What I’m Watching” post out soon: I’m around 40% done with it so far. Anyway, thanks again, and I’ll see you in the next post!