#but the contemplation of if I should remake him made me forget to post

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Nie Huaisang with his boba 🧋

it’s the first chibi I made and he’s a little wonky but I love him okay?

[skamamoroma]

Martino always thinks he's not enough 💔

You ok there, anon? Sending you a cuddle ❤️

He does have a habit of it, doesn’t he? I find him overwhelmingly relatable across the board but this is another way. He cuts and runs the second he has a feeling he might be hurt. He did it in s2 and he did it in s4. I also do the same. I have done that before and I caused hurt with it too which is regrettable but it’s a self preservation thing, a way to stop the inevitable you think is heading your way.

I think all of the Isaks have a form of this feeling and they all react in various ways but Marti did in s4 exactly what he did in s2 and retreated entirely. He’s comfortable alone and so he retreats into it for safety. That’s ridiculously understandable for me as I do the same.

In s2, he does it 3 times, I guess. Once when Nico didn’t get in contact post kiss, one post night club when he saw Maddalena and Nico and once post Milan. Some of those were understandable because Nico made it difficult (and from Nico’s perspective - ALSO understandable!) but the final one is what makes me so sad. They were together then, really happy, really comfortable and it took one comment from Maddalena for Marti to believe the entire thing was nonsense. His belief in being happy and loved is so fragile.

I think this is where they played it up MORE with Marti and his personality because Nico didn’t send him numerous messages suggesting he was still within the throes of a MH crisis and perpetuating the idea that he was still under the effects of it and that meant it was the only reason he liked Marti like the other remakes... that didn’t happen. Nico’s struggles are different and he tried to explain to Marti in his own way with his “la giraffa” but this is where Marti is so endearing to me and where his mamma’s assessment of him is perfection - he speaks a different language to most.

Marti being the literalist and being incredibly straight forward cannot use that approach the way others can. He shut it down. He blocked Nico, he refused to see what was in front of him. He had to be told so many times (by the boys and Dottor Spera) that Nico should be the one to explain and that Marti had jumped to too many conclusions but above all, he needed simple, straight forward, non-metaphorical words from Nico to show how he felt.

And what happened the second he got them? He went immediately to Nico and was different. He was confident, assured, brave and bold in La Grotta.

Marti needs very little to be yours. If he loves you, he just needs simple, straight forward honesty. If you give him that I think he is cool with most stuff and can handle a lot, otherwise, left to his own interpretations he flounders because he isn’t a nuance guy when it comes to feelings. He is always going to assume the worst and place himself at the bottom of the pile unless he is presented clearly with stuff.

That’s why season 4 makes SO MUCH SENSE in the way they both behave because it’s that test to see if they realised that about themselves post s2 and I think they realised a LOT and learned a lot but they hadn’t learned this lesson yet.

Marti, over a long space of time in s4, keeps trying to get the truth. He understands what something is happening with Nico. He knows that there is something fundamental there but he doesn’t know what and obviously his mind jumps to the worst possibility, sees this handsome stranger enter Nico’s life and spark secrecy and Nico to hide things. I don’t think Marti knows his own worth and I don’t think he necessarily sees himself as someone that would be prioritised when he’s left to his own thoughts. I bet Nico has done so many things and said so much to make Marti feel cherished and loved but it’s ingrained in you sometimes to forget everything in favour of your brain telling you that it’s nonsense really... that there is always stuff that comes to ruin it or that you’re never going to measure up.

Now, Nico had no requirement to do anything and clearly had so much going on in his mind. He struggled trying to tell Marti, he struggled with the whole thing HIMSELF before he could even contemplate handling the Marti of it all... he lied and chose the least helpful path in secrets and trying to cover it all in a blanket and pretend it’s not there to the world while trying to make peace with it. Unfortunately, he’s in love with a guy who needs honesty and needs someone to be straight forward. Without that, Marti makes up his own mind.

Again, and I say it so often because it’s one of my favourite things about them. Nico is a metaphor and Marti is a literalist. It defines so much about them. Nico has come a LONG way to understand Marti. We’ve seen it a few times since s2 (even in their test released by Netflix!!! Thank you Besse!) and especially in the fisherman scene, but Nico has grown to understand Marti’s language just like Mamma Rametta. To love Marti means to tune into his ways. With Nico, he is a much more complex soul with intense fears of abandonment and difficulty with truth and transparency because of his past. He told us how he has been spoken for and talked on behalf of and how he has felt controlled. He told us how he felt alone despite being surrounded by people. We know he chose an animal as the one thing who understood. We know he chose a make believe scenario as comfort. We know he took Marti away and into their make believe world to find happiness. We know he lied time and time again about the truth of his life to protect what he felt was something special. This is ingrained behaviour for Nico as much as Marti’s is for him. Nico consistently uses lies, pretend and metaphor to handle his feelings and fears.

They’re both so hugely compatible but these two facets of their characters mean that 1) they both have to learn to speak a different language to make it work and 2) they both bring stuff to the other’s life that is missing and that enhances the other person. They just hadn’t learned that lesson yet despite learning a LOT in the meantime about other things.

In s4, with Nico’s behaviour being unusual, with his lies, with his lack of transparency, with his failure to explain to Marti, Marti filled in the gaps himself, he put himself at the bottom of the pile, he cut and ran to save himself hurt and he couldn’t handle not knowing the truth. Nothing about his behaviour shocked me in context except perhaps the knee jerk reaction to seeing Nico respond the way he did to Luai and start a bit of a scuffle. But even then, Nico didn’t say “oh I see an old friend”, he looked at Luai in the way he did and then walked off and brushed Marti off. Now if you consider it from Nico’s perspective it’s OVERWHELMING. No wonder he behaved as he did seeing Luai again, no wonder he was in shock and was probably really emotional to be presented with his past, no wonder he found it all difficult to digest and didn’t immediately tell all to Marti. But Marti wasn’t to know that.

I think it’s so telling in the fisherman scene. Marti’s request for a birthday present is honesty 😂😂😂

I mean, can it be more blatant. He has already told Gio and Sana and Dottor Spera and the boys in so many ways that Nico lied and “why didn’t he tell me that then?” and “he has a relationship with the truth”. Gio being the voice of reason telling Marti that Nico is working on it. But Marti craves that honesty. And so he eventually finds a way to be like “ok, I need it so please can you try to give me what I need”. That’s a huge step for him. He’s being clear with what he needs to be able to have a great relationship and I think Nico understood him. Nico isn’t weak or a push over. Marti saying he needed honesty was something Nico immediately agreed to, responded to and gave Marti in a heartbeat. He was being very honest when he said that he had wanted to sleep with Luai back in the day etc... and Marti’s response was to smile a little and say “ok”! I don’t think the crux of his issue was jealousy at all. I think it was a part of it but I think the main issue was being in the dark... and for Marti that’s catastrophic.

I like that the fisherman scene shows how much there both willing to work on stuff. Marti is trying to assert himself to say what he needs. Nico is trying to adapt and be more open and honest when the stuff he’s handling is difficult. And the final moment we see them come together with Nico showing how great he is for Marti but also how much he knows and understands him ESPECIALLY when you wait for that “I love you” which would have been so cliche and we were gifted with the much more romantic and ridiculous option of Marti asking to throw the fisherman in the sea and Nico smiling to himself and cuddling Marti to him, KNOWING Marti’s language enough to know that’s his way of deflecting while also expressing his contentment and also Nico just loving Marti for all that he is with all his weird ways. That “I love you for who you are” is VERY strong with them even if who they are is difficult or is different to the other... they try hard. Marti shouldn’t require Nico to be answering questions 24/7 and Nico shouldn’t require Marti to change his entire personality but they’re finding a balance because there’s so much love there. They just need to keep learning and I think that where Marti is concerned, the security of being loved is not enough. He needs facts and clarity and confirmation. He has been left behind before. To love him means to understand that and to respond to it and Nico learned it a little in s2 but had so much to handle in s4 that this is when they had that tested the most... and I think Marti knew what he was being given when Nico said he could ask anything. Marti is such a simple soul, man. He really doesn’t need a lot! He just needs to be able to apply his logic and facts to what is happening so that his ingrained fight or flight isn’t triggered!!!

WOW. YOU SET ME OFF. Sorry this is so long!!!! Hahahaha. I could talk about him/them all day 💙💙💙