#but the brainrot only fully sets in when im writing them

[canadiankakashi]

I somehow keep forgetting how absolutely insane I am about my rare pair until I'm actively writing them

[yuansie]

the greatest gamble of all

pairing. aventurine x gn! nameless! reader

synopsis. aventurine knows that he is unworthy of love, unworthy of you. because he, aventurine, is a tainted person and kakavasha is but a person with no future for himself. in both of his names, he is unworthy of you.

genres/aus. actually idek what type of au this would fall under saurrr idk what to say ummm friends to something more (?!), romance, pining, angst with a happy ending, smidge of fluff at the end

warnings. slight (or maybe not so slight at all?) spoilers about aventurine's background, mentions of death and murder, very sad and insecure aventurine, crying, slight displays of affection (a neck kiss?!), ooc aventurine ?! (bc im still doing the penacony quest HAHSHAJ)

wc. 1.6k

a/n. me when i only write about aventurine because aventurine is love, aventurine is life. also, i just have some serious brainrot for that man he deserves everything and more i love him sm !!!! also. aventurine this wednesday im SOOOO excited i need him NOW. will be skipping my first class so i can do his trial LMFAO and this NAWT edited !! (when will i ever edit something?? idk. whenever i am not a busy uni kid) the aventurine art was made by @/20231102thu on x (twitter) !!

AVENTURINE IS FULLY AWARE THAT HE ISN'T SOMEONE DESERVING OF, well, anything. he’s just someone that aimlessly wanders this world, not having a set destination. he doesn’t have anything worth living for.  he doesn’t have a home to return to because home means returning to a place filled with warmth and love. 

he does not remember the last time he felt his heart warm up, he’s not even sure if he’s even felt warmth. it is but a distant memory filled with sadness, such sorrow that makes his heart weep without knowing it. though, nowadays, he doesn’t feel like that. there’s just an emptiness in him, but he doesn’t mind it anymore. after the events at penacony, he’s just been… lost.

he hears a door open and slide shut, followed by the sound of footsteps. then, he senses someone standing right next to him as he gazes out the windows of the astral express. you spent a long time convincing the conductor and himeko that aventurine should be a guest, and you finally wore them out with your pleading after a good amount of hours. 

“penny for your thoughts?”

aventurine glances at you. your wounds from the battle are still healing, he notes, given by the bandages that wrap around your forearm and head. sunday will have to meet his fury on another day. “just thinking that this is a nice place.”

you chuckle, “it is, isn’t it?”

all he does is hum in response, still staring out in the vast expanse of space. he likes how the stars look and as his eyes linger on penacony, he wonders if his home looked similar to that. he wouldn't know because he never saw how it looked when he left and never will. his thoughts don’t linger on that much when he instead focuses on the way your fingers brush against his hand. he flinches and stares wide-eyed at how you easily grab onto his hand, a dirty piece of flesh undeserving of the warmth that radiates from your skin and seeps into his own.

“aventurine—”

“kakavasha.”

“hm?” you tilt your head to the side, blinking at him in confusion.

he wants to look away from you, from your eyes. but he wills himself to keep looking and somehow, he ends up gripping onto your hand tightly. you don't complain and instead squeeze back, patiently waiting for him to continue.

“my name is… kakavasha.” aventurine feels his stomach twist and turn at your silence so he continues to speak, “i just thought… that you should know it before it’s completely gone.”

“and why do you say that?”

“it’s a name meant to be forgotten in the sand.”

your response is so quick that it almost gives him whiplash. “no it isn't.”

“excuse me?” he blurts out, surprised that you even said such a thing about him.

“it isn't a name meant to be forgotten in the sand,” you say, a certain calmness in your voice that has aventurine waiting with bated breath at what else you have to say. “it's too pretty to be forgotten and, well, it's your name.” 

and then he feels his face heat up; his ears, neck and cheeks feel like they’re burning up.

“kakavasha,” you hum, smiling, “kava, for short. it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?”

it does have a nice ring to it, but only because you're the one saying it. aventurine merely nods, not trusting his voice at the moment. he looks away and stares outside the window, not wanting to look at you anymore because he fears this warm feeling will take over his entire being.

a nice silence blankets over the two of you, one that you break after a while.

“what’s the story behind your name right now? aventurine… why are you called that now?”

“because kakavasha had no future,” he replies, “kakavasha didn’t have a future, he didn’t deserve to live either. who i am now, aventurine, does.”

“kakavasha deserves to live too.” aventurine turns his body to look at you, blinking in surprise. “i don’t know how you got that thought in your head, but kakavasha deserves to live just as much as the person you are now.”

“but aventurine is tainted. this name has too much blood on it, too many sins on it. the person i am now doesn’t deserve to live either. kakavasha should be a name buried in the sands of time while aventurine should be burnt to a crisp for the things i’ve done.”

yes, he is tainted. his body, his everything is tainted. it is marred by an ugly color, a stain of who he was and is, never to be cleaned. aventurine lets go of your hands, worried that you might also get stained by his sins. he should drive you away now before the aching in his small heart decides to cling to you and the warmth you give him. he will tell you his story, tell you about the mark on his neck, tell you how he killed the man that bought him, tell you about how he is a tainted person. he is a tainted person unworthy of you, unworthy of that love you hold.

he may have never experienced love. after all, all of his past relationships were purely physical. no one cared about going deeper beyond his facade, they all just wanted a fun night. so while he has never experienced it, he is no fool. he can recognize that the emotion in your pretty eyes when you look at him is love. you love aventurine, the him who has betrayed and used you and your companions in one way or another on penacony. he doesn’t understand why and maybe he never will because the mere fact that you feel something towards him is so bizarre.

so he should ruin whatever it is that you love about him and tell you the truth, taint your rose-colored view on him. aventurine needs to do it now before his heart tells him not to. he knows his heart is already lovesick, so needy of that bit of love it has received from you. his heart wants to hold on tightly to you and drown in you, drown in those feelings of yours. his tiny heart wants to love you too, it wants to love you just as much as you love him. he wants your everything to consume his entire being.

but after he tells you the truth, you will leave and you will be the first and last person he’s loved. you will be the first and last person to somehow climb over the tall walls he’s built around himself and crack open the facade he’s made.

but what if… what if you stay after everything? what will happen then?

it is that small hope that he ends up clinging to.

if he is blessed gaiathra, if he is lucky, then what if… what if this is his greatest gamble of all? a gamble of love: will he lose you or will you stay?

aventurine has made up his mind despite the rational part in him telling him to not even do it, yet he does. the words flow out of his mouth easily, though his heart weighs heavy in his chest. he expects to you leave, he really does because who would want someone as ugly as him? but the tears that leaves your eyes and roll down your cheeks catches him completely off guard.

“why are you crying?” he asks, his hands reaching out to hold your arms.

your lips quiver and a hand grabs onto one of his while the other reaches out, fingers stopping before they touch his neck. aventurine leans in without thinking and a shiver goes up his spine when your fingertips gently graze the marks on his neck. you rub over the marks, “you didn’t deserve any of that, kakavasha.”

“if i could, i would take this from you and any pain you’ve felt and will feel. i would take away all of the unpleasant memories that plague your mind. for you, i would do anything.” 

his knees buckle at your words and you both tumble down to the ground; he ends up being on top of you. your eyes widen when aventurine’s own tears begin to rain down, some falling onto your cheek.

“why would you say something so cruel to me?” he mutters. “don’t give me false hope. you should leave now before you do it in the future.”

“why should i leave the man that i love?” you purse your lips, your eyebrows furrowing.

aventurine shoves his head into the crook of your neck. “i am undeserving of you. i’m lesser than everyone in all of these galaxies.”

“you are not lesser than everyone,” you grumble, raking your hand through his blond hair. “everyone is the same because at the end of the day, we all want to love and to be loved.”

“i’m afraid i won’t be able to leave you now.” he hears you laugh softly, saying how his eyelashes are tickling you. he decides to get impossibly closer to you and bat his eyelashes more, smiling at the sound of your laughter growing in volume. “you’re stuck with me, so don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

aventurine’s breath gets stuck in his throat. he feels your lips brush against his neck. “i think the one who should be saying that is me… say, promise me you won’t leave?”

“shouldn’t i be saying that?”

“kava, promise me.”

“i promise. will you promise the same thing too?”

“yes, i promise that i won’t leave you.”

kakavasha, a name forgotten in the sand, was dug up and remembered, held in the hands of someone that treats like the most precious thing. kakavasha, who had forgotten how it felt to love and be loved, remembered the feeling because of a single person.

and kakavasha, blessed by gaiathra, won his greatest gamble of all time. he won you and your love, something he will now protect and hold onto tightly.

[eresia-catara]

i sent a similar ask to girldante cause this is definitely something very important that needs to be addressed, but i found out only today that guido died in 1300 (and also that dante himself was responsible for his exile?? why isn't this common knowledge help) and so this made me think really hard about how the choice of 1300 isn't casual at all like, nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita un par de bale it's just a whole ruse to avoid having to "talk" (at least in the poetic sense) to guido or face his own emotions, cause what a fucking heavy reunion that would have been. which only begs the question of what cantica would he have put him IF.......... also im sure you and the rest of the cavalghieri squad examined the matter quite deeply but i never did guido in school and only now have i actually started looking into him mostly out of curiosity so there's that

Oh there arw many thoughts to be thought here.

So when Dante started writing the Commedia (yes we don't know the precise period in which he started writing it etc etc, not the point here), Guido had already died, years ago, but the Commedia itself is set around march/april 1300, so Guido, who died at the end of august, was still technically alive. This makes it impossible for Dante to put him amongst the dead (although he did that with popes, so not fully impossible), but it doesn't mean he can ignore him.

I think my blog already talks extensively of the haunting presence of Guido in Dante's works, especially the Commedia lmao help but essentially we can sum it up this way: Dante explicitly talks about him in the Commedia twice, in Inferno X and Purgatorio XI, and only briefly; for the rest he's apparently set on ignoring him BUT if we look even just slightly more closely it becomes blatant that there's a constant confrontation with what Guido stated in his poems (for example Inferno V, to name the most obvious one), and possibly their friendship through the character of Virgil (the disappearence of Virgil in Purgatorio, but also the episode of violence with the wrathfuls?). So it would seem Guido was a constant thought in the background of Dante's mind, but at the same time he desperately wanted to take his distance from him. The result is that Guido's name is treated like something that can only be spoken in hushed tones.

It seems reasonable to think that setting the Commedia right before Guido's death falls into this picture (of course it's not the only reason why he chose that date, though). Dante elaborates a judgement of everyone, going from political figures to friends, to family, people who are still alive, etc... Guido had been a friend, his first friend (in the sense of importance), and was "still alive". But Dante refuses to place him somewhere. The closest he gets to doing so is in Inferno X where he speaks to his father and when Cavalcante asks where his son is ("why isn't he with you?") Dante is hesitant to answer and then says that Guido was not allowed to come with because "maybe" he "disdained" someone. Critics have absolutely no idea who this someone is. But this "maybe" and the elusiveness of the whole statement are key: Dante is unsure. He doesn't pronounce himself on Guido's fate. We can presume that he's alluding to Guido's lack of faith, so technically we can think that if Guido got damned, he would've ended up amongst the heretics, and interpret Cavalcante's damnation as mirror and anticipation of the son's. But at the same time his presence is so heavy in all the rest of the Commedia that one can argue anything about Dante's judgement of him. It wouldn't be difficult to argue that he'd end up amongst the lustfuls, or the wrathfuls, or in Purgatory, etc... Briefly put, we can't pronounce ourselves with certainty on this matter, but we have a lot of material to make hypotheses with the knowledge that we can't confirm any of them.

Finally, yes the cavalghieri squad has poured its minds over this collective brainrot, but I'm having difficulty finding the relative posts... I will try to sort this out, sorry!

Thank you for the ask >3

[fowlfics]

other than my Crocodad DofuWani bullshit (which is now at 22k and yes this is the first im mentioning it here whoops its still only half done. send help) my other brainrot which i have been thinking about today is AceLaw.

More specifically, an AceLaw where they met shortly after Ace entered the Grand Line, started dating, Marineford happened as normal... And then the plot starts. With Luffy and Law and the insurmountable mountain of grief they're both shouldering.

I have something relatively short (2k) to post about it soon, courtesy of exploring exactly how many characters will discord let me cram into a single message (got to -8808 lol) over in MDL

Here's an excerpt bc i ought to make some use of this blog:

Pulling out the leather-bound journal, he set it carefully on Luffy's lap.

"Please don't destroy it. There's only this one copy."

Luffy glanced up at him, baffled. It was better than anger or sadness, at least.

Law motioned towards the book wordlessly and leaned against the desk; No description he could give for the book would be better than Luffy just taking a look himself.

He pulled the cover open gingerly, recoiling slightly at the sight of the first page. It was inked almost fully black, with only three coloured letters right in the middle of it: red A, blue S and yellow L.

Their first Jolly Roger, Ace had told him. The one they flew over the treehouse right up until they abandoned it after their brother's death.

Law supposed it might still hang there, if no one had bothered to take it down.

Luffy whipped his head up, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Keep going," Law encouraged. "He wanted you to see it, eventually."

Looking back down, Luffy turned the page. And then again, and again, and again, moving through the pages fast enough to make it clear he wasn't actually reading any of the words, barely looking at the pictures.

If he was anything like Ace, he likely couldn't read all that well, not even the carefully calligraphed words Ace had bribed Law into writing for him.

That was fine, though. There would be time for reading, later. Luffy already knew most of those stories, anyway. He had been there for them.

The only novelty would be getting to learn Ace's perspective on them; Something that, judging by his words, Luffy could clearly use.

It didn't take him long to reach the end, flipping the pages faster and faster until he reached the end of the filled portion. The few dozen empty pages fell towards the rest easily, opening the journal on the last page, the one Ace had most often returned to.

Luffy's hand carefully traced the edges of the portrait carefully inserted into the back cover.

"This..." he trailed off.

Law gave him a moment. When it became clear he wasn't going to continue, he filled in himself.

"Is Sabo, yes."

Luffy looked up at him again. There was old pain filling them, old tears.

"Ace had been working on it for a long time," Law elaborated. "I have a whole binder of his previous attempts, too. He wasn't happy with how this one turned out, either, but he said it was the closest he could get." And then, because he had been curious for the longest time- "Did he get it right?"

Luffy hunched his shoulder. "...I don't know," he said. "I don't- I didn't remember what Sabo looked like, anymore."

It's been ten years, to be fair. If someone had asked Law to describe Cora-san, he would have had troubles, too. Feathery coat, heart-dingled hat, wide lipstick smile, spikes under his eye, that much he remembered.

But how many spikes? Under which eye? What colour were the eyes themselves?

Time had an unfortunate habit of sanding away the details, taking the sharp edges of memories and tumbling them into blunt, opaque things, like sea glass.

It did the same to grief; That was the price you paid for healing.

[night-dark-woods]

(This is the anon with the hold me like water or a knife quote) I. I beg you to share the lore pieces about Eris comforting Petra because I have been brainrotting about the two of them for so long.

Both of them are truly guard-dog 1 and guard-cryptid 2 for Mara (AKA two people who have devoted their lives to her due to an unquestionable loyalty and viewing her as someone who has set them on the right path/ someone who truly sees them) and I think they should make out about that

YEAH. i <3 femslash rarepairs with like three lines exchanged between the two of them. & yeah its such a fun dynamic!!! theres a reason Petra and Eris are the ones mentioned in that Tyrannocide loretab (thank you seth. as always.)

The plan exists in her mind alone, although beloved Eris has by necessity learned most of it. The Techeuns do not know the whole plan, although they will position the Harbingers upon the threshold. Even sweet capable Petra does not know the whole plan.

but anyway these are really the only 2:

"You are the Wrath, now. You are the last hope for your people. Trust the Guardians, trust the Vanguard. And you will find your salvation beyond this moment."

-Eris Morn, message to Petra Venj

& this one:

"If I did not know you better, Ikora, I would say you are fretting. To answer your real question: no. In my estimation, there is no danger of Petra Venj 'pulling an Eris Morn."

-Eris Morn, Hidden Report XXI.I

so. i guess not comfort really but. understanding.

& then i was just poking around for other interactions and there's a lot of clear familiarity but i thought this one was especially good from the Wild Hunt set w/ the rude guardian:

"The Reef will take note of their opinions. For now, I imagine the Vanguard are rather focused on Europa. At least, if what I hear from Eris is accurate."

"Eris Morn is a traitor." Siegfried's voice was stern, his eyes locked with Petra's.

Her lip convulsed in a silent snarl. "The information she shares would suggest otherwise."

i love the amount of familiarity & love that defensiveness conveys. i need to know how often they talk to each other. i need to know how they talk about Mara when she's not around. im always fascinated by the vague shape we can see behind the loretabs of the entire Extended Reef-Tower Polycule (Sav Mara (Sjur when she gets back) Petra Eris Ikora Chalco Elsie). i hope none of it is ever clarified. i like to see the gay glow of it on the horizon and never quite know what's up with them.

I do like that we finally got a loretab of Ikora and Mara interacting in TFS (*hater voice* despite the fact that it was a thinly veiled exposition dump & also has wildly sloppy character work- SotL writer again imo, who i think also did Immolant and SoDefiance writing. characterized by using SAT words for the sake of using them without understanding fully how they are used, and by describing characters experiencing emotions by saying their facial expression and then telling us exactly what it means)

[deutoplasmic]

smug takeru will be the end of me like hes sOOOO happy even if you swear to never speak of the shack again it wont stop you two from. stealing a few kisses when no ones looking 😶 YOU HATE HIM THOUGH YOU SWEAR!!! even when he gives you,,, soft forehead kisses after you bicker,,, or he kisses your hand before saying goodbye IM SO GRRHRJDJDJDJD

PLSSS OMG MIMIKYU,,, yea fengfan’s fighting for his LIFE in his mind hes so down bad for you,,, you walk up to him with a phantump you just found like “phantump say hello to 凡凡 this is your new dad” and fengfan swears hes so red he’ll explode

HOLDING HANDS WITH RUKI PLSSS he tries to act calm but youll just see him avoiding eye contact and only looking your way to look at your hands touch and freak out again 😭 HES SUCH A CAT alolan meowth is so perfect for him omg

MASAYA’S HONEY SHOP,,, will literally give free honey to any lil kid or pokemon,,, and the full bottles are shaped like his partner teddiursa I NEED TO DRAW THIS I NEED TO DRAW ALL OF THEM

OMG AYUTA AS AN APPRENTICE 😭 and compared to junki his singing partners would be like,,, softer like chingling,,,, and junki is so happy with his growing family he gets everyone matching bowties,,, and ofc free poffins even for ayuta (who is. mildly confused but hes accepted that junki is a bit strange)

PLSSS KYO GETTING YOU ALL THE SOUVENIRS,, he kept the malasadas chilled with his new bergmite friend,,, you guys can have a meal in front of your house and catch up,,, man kyosuke looks so good in natural lighting with his hat off I MEAN WHAT-

SHO AND KOSHIN ARE SO CUTE LIKE,,, and koshin is definitely trying to set him up with someone like “you dont want someone who can look after the daycare with you for the rest of your life till death do you part? 🥺” and sho is like “ahahahaha i mean,,,” (hes worse at rizz than he looks)

omg taichi with a hitmontop,, or a sandslash,,, AND OMG RAN WITH A SCIZOR YOURE SO RIGHT!!!! SHE WOULD BE ALL TOUGH WITH ONE LIKE ALL THE STRONG COOL FEMALE GYM LEADERS,, i need to write this all down i have to draw all of lapone with pokemon now,,,

LMAO NOT KUMI BECOMING WANTED BY PROXY 😭 hes so confused the whole time,,, but it does feel nice when you pat his head after he pilots the ship well,,, and maybe thats all that matters

LMAODKDJDJ THANK YOU i think ill upload it after i send this ask in!! have no idea what the caption will be yet but. ill make smth up

and @ the tags,, i get you omg my friend was sociogramming and writing down f (friend) and a (acquaintance) next to people and i was like. does that mean fluff and angst LMAODJDKDHDKDJD THE BRAINROT

every time you guys k*ss you make sure to remind him after that he's still a stupid annoying ratbag or whatever but he KNWOS whats inside your heart!!!!!!!!!!! you cant hide from him forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you're never going to fully admit it but what's that he keeps coming over a lot? yeah nahhhh he just wants to bother you like the menace he is (mame is frantically updating jin he can't believe his eyes is it REAL)

god fengfan is 5 seconds away from combustion!!!!!!!!!! the 凡凡 will have him kicking his feet desperately when he thinks abotu it later that night... he even finds a lil pumpkaboo for you for the matchign duo and GOD he almost loses it when you smile at him and say youve got twins now!!!!!!!!!!! he thinks he deserves an award for not exploding whenever you talk to him but also he's so grateful for the privilege. so

YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS he prolly has super clammy hands.... cold sweat on his palms........... youre like ruki do you need to wipe your hand and hes like NOOOOOPE whilst subtly scrubbing them on his pant leg LOL... he gets so nervous that his meowth uses pay day bc coins calm it down and maybe it'll work for ruki too! but actually it just looks like his wallet exploded and dumped coins on the ground so he's dying from embarrassment whilst you just pick up all the money for him :rofl:

HONEY BOTTLES SHAPED LIKE TEDDIURSA YOUR BRAIN IS SO MASSIVE FOR THIS. SO MASSIVE. omg his table is made out of maple wood stained a cute yellow that like. his friend ayane made or smth. and its draped with a honeycomb patterned tablecloth keigo made............ all of his little samples are in small jars the size of like tealights which are wrapped with small squares of the tablecloth fabric and twine around it for security.....

YOURE SO RIGHT one day they go out to the meadow to sing bc junki declares it perfect cutiefly spotting weather. yes ayuta tells him that theyll probably get poked by them but junki doesnt comprehend that. and for some reason meloetta shows up??????????????????? both of them refuse to try catching it bc that would be such an injustice. but. wow. theyre dumbstruck. AND THE MATCHING BOWTIES ARE SOOOOOO CUTE its insane........ and yeah. ayuta has accepted his fate in silly goose club LOL

OH MY DAYS youre so right he pulls out some tropius fruit from his satchel to share with you........ and his eyes are so shiny and hair so pretty in the sun i mean wait what huhhhhhhh ALSO HIM HAVING A BERGMITE IS SO REAL oh my days .... he probably delivers smth to like fengfan at some point who also has a frigibax and it starts bickering with the bergmite LOL

koshin can be devious when he wants to be LOL but omg im such a supporter of the confident sho totally lost for words and confidence around his crush theory like . hes charismatically explaining smth to some of the trainers looking at his daycare with all his smooth charm and you waltz in and hes like uh um uh uh well uh sorry uh yeah um uh huh

taichi sandslash would be so CUTE omg wait he also has like. a minun who is such a cutie and keeps cheering for them.... which is severely boosting ken's ego LOL and yeah omg..... love ran............ she probably specialises in steel type pokemon and there are a bunch of klinks and bronzor hanging aroudn the entry. she's taking care of a shiny aron at the moment and it's due to evolve any time soon....!!!!!

YEAH omg he takes you to meet his mechanic buddy hiroto one time after you need to get some part replacements and hirotos like wow takumi they must be really worth it to change sides of the law and takumi. well. hes dazed life is so good

LMFAO FLUFF AND ANGST........... its consuming us all...............

[rrxnjun]

BEST MOTIVATION!!🥳 i'm glad u are handling things better!! LMAO THE JIHOON BRAINROT HIT U HARD but tbh i'm very good with him being the main character lmao and aaa thank u for telling me!! hope u manage to set it up🥹

aaa those are amazing🤌 i wish i was a proper kpop stan just to experience them fully💔 aa only listen to them when u have the time and u are in the mood for it!!! i will be here if u want to give a review about them later and not immediately!! it's so hard to get it right f with kpop songs for no reason😭 my friend still surprises me to this day with what kind of songs she likes and i know her music taste very well but some how i still manage to mess it up😭 TBH I WOULD BE DOWN FOR SONG RECOMMENDATIONS FROM CIX CUZ I NEVER LISTENED TO THEM!! the boyz english line is just too funny imo😭

OMG GOOD JOB!!!🥳🥳 GO OFF STEM GIRLIE!!! oh my lord i'm not surprised then that it's very difficult😭 u are very smart for even just getting into it!!! i will probably take it very badly cuz i already have issues in high school so whatever🥱 buuut i'm sure i will get through it somehow lmao if i even get in😙✌️ aaaa thank uuu so much i really appreciate u and love talking with u!!🥹🥹💕💓💓 (liebestraum anon💞💖)

girl im struggling. tried creating the side blog but i for the love of god cant come up with a proper url 😭😭😭😭 why did i choose a bias w the most unurlable name ffs everything looks terrible. i also havent been writing as much lately i think im having writers block which is really :// so lets pray it goes away soon

i added all the songs u recommended into a seperate playlist and tried listening to them the other day but then i got unreasonably angry at something so i just switched to my angry playlist 😃👍 howEVER i managed to get through the thrill ride ep and so far the title track was my fav,, i didnt find myself drawn to the other songs but that might honestly be bc of my shitty mood that day so im gonna give it a relisten and then gather my thoughts 😌�� kpop is so diverse and so different than anything else so getting the songs right is always so difficult AHAHA

CIX RECS SAY LESS i actually havent heard their whole discography yet so take it as u will but. u might know movie star, numb or jungle (both of which fucking slap to this day,, their songs age like fine wine) oR cinema thats one of my favs from them!!!! their whole debut ep is very good but esp. like it that way and what you wanted are SOSOSO good oh lord. also 458 and without you (istg that song is one of the most beautiful kpop songs imo) are very very good 😌 hope u like at least some SJSJDKSK let me know if u do (no pressure to listen to any of these tho!!)

good luck w getting into uni im sure u can get in!! 😌😌 hs unfortunately cant prepare u for the shift (at least in slovakia) so it will definitely be something u need to get used to but trust me at uni nobody rlly cares abt grades anymore 😭😭 after a while u lose energy for that LMAO the only thing needed is passing 👍👍👍 rooting for you!!

it was nice hearing from you 💕 hope u have a nice weekend/the next week mwah!!