#but the app make it look like they lost my package lmao

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Uh, hi, to everyone in the queue for commission, things happen with my paper stash so unfortunately, progress will be slow because I'm waiting for a new paper to arrive. Thank you for your patience. ✌🏻

[nerdlvr]

then if its okay with you can i request something with haechan, like you’re obsessed with best friend! haechan hands and you’re always looking at them thinking nobody notices but he did, he always does

easyy cause i'm already obsessed with his hands LMAO. thank you so much for waiting, hope you enjoy! <33

you weren't always this obsessed with your best friend's hands. it just so happened that one day you had asked him to help you bake, and watching how he used his hands to knead and roll out the dough, you suddenly felt a subtle attraction towards them. well, subtle is what you thought you were, but clearly haechan had caught on to your not so little infatuation with his hands, doing things that he knew would have you drooling over him.

"y/n what do you think of my rings? this ones new!"

he pointed to a shiny silver ring on his middle finger. but that ring was the least of your concerns. haechan flexed his hand to make the rings shine, veins becoming more prominent. you gulped,

"uh, yeah, they're nice hyuck."

as you quickly averted your eyes, hoping haechan hadn't caught you staring at everything but his rings. he'd suck his teeth,

"you didn't even properly look."

𖡼

then there were times where haechan would send pictures of him holding things out of the blue.

as you opened his message an image of him gripping his pillow popped up on your screen. you eyes widened, quickly clicking on the image, zooming in on his hands, veins on full display as he tightly gripped the fabric. you clicked out of the picture reading his message, got some new pillows! couldn't he just have sent a picture of them on the bed? you responded with a quick, nice 👍 closing out of the messages app before you actually lost your mind.

𖡼

haechan sighed as he read your response to the image he had sent you. was he being too obvious? well, he couldn't be more obvious than you. he had caught you time and time again staring blatantly at his hands, quickly looking away when your eyes met his. whether he was holding a cup at some party, or opening a package, your eyes were always on his hands, watching every move he made. so why wouldn't you just admit that you thought he had nice hands?

he even went out of his way to get his nails done, occasionally letting the nail artist draw on a little design on one of his fingers. and of course, it always made you stare, but never for long enough that he could accuse you of liking his hands. he was running out of options.

𖡼

like every other sunday, you and haechan were sprawled out on the couch, a random show playing on the tv as you both scrolled through your phones.

haechan glanced past his phone looking over at you. you were laying down, phone on your chest as you scrolled with one hand, the other resting on your face as you nibbled on your nails. he sat up pulling your finger away from your mouth.

"what the hell donghyuck?"

he sat there confused by his own action.

"oh, uh, don't, don't bite your nails. it's bad, look"

he showed you his fingers,

"i bite my nails all the time, they just make your hands look ugly."

you put your phone down, sitting up to grab his hands.

"you hands aren't ugly hyuck,"

you turned his hands, examining them. your voice was soft, barely audible as you began to ramble,

"they're really nice actually, you don't even have to take care of them. they're just naturally nice, and your veins look nice too when you're holding something."

you lightly traced a visible vein that started at his wrist and led up to his ring finger. haechan grinned wide, making a fist to accentuate his veins,

"think my hands are nice huh?"

you looked up to see him grinning down at you, a sly smirk on his face. he laughed as you rolled your eyes, pushing his hands away.

"shut up donghyuck, i don't think they're ugly, i think they're super ugly!"

he chuckled, knowing that you were lying. he extended his hands forward, showing them off in your face.

"if they're sooo ugly then why are you blushing hmmm?"

you reached up to touch your cheeks, and just like he said, they were abnormally warm. he whined as you slapped his hands away, bringing your finger up to point at him.

"i swear if you use this against me lee donghyuck."

he smirked at you as he hid his hands behind his back,

"of course not!"

𖡼

after that haechan would didn't let you rest, bringing up his hands in almost every conversation, finding any excuse to make you look at them. and if he didn't find a way to fit it into your in person conversations, you'd 100% receive a pic of his hands later that night as you got ready for bed captioned, cleaned them just for you <3

[ferdieinceladoncity]

I loved Rm9sbG93ZXJz so much. After the humourless shit-shows of were-monster and forehead sweat I'd lost any hope that anything in the revival would succeed in being lighthearted enough to make me laugh, but this episode was genuinely such a good time. Mulder and Scully not talking in the diner doesn't work at all, really-I get the artistic vision I guess, but c'mon- but the rest was a lot of fun.

I mean, yeah, the concept of evil robots and AI turning evil is pretty tired- but i still think it's an interesting concept. Most X-files episodes of this season have prevented moral viewpoints or societal commentary that makes me grit my teeth and think. wow. don't agree with that. (cough cough kitten) This, more than anything, is like a breath of fresh air because okay, that's pretty basic. We can all get behind hating apps. or maybe I'm just a boomer at my core who adamantly refuses to update my laptop after three years and covers my camera with blu-tack.

I don't know, it was just fun. I liked how it was shot and how it looked: the scene where Scully stands in the doorway as she receives her package from the drone and the scene where all the colourful little drones surrounded Mulder's staircase were really good.

Rest in pieces, scully's vibrator. this show will never let you have *anything* huh. Also, yeah, of course the hand holding scene at the end <3

So far, this episode and home again are the only two episodes of seasons 10/11 that I can say with full confidence are genuinely good, genuinely really enjoyed watching them. They don't get places on the favourites list, but ghouls and plus one were also pretty good. the rest range between mid to abysmal lmao

[writing-multifandoms]

Slashers reacting to reader who can't cook

Requests ~ CLOSED

( Headcanons )

Michael Myers ~

He's not much of a cooker. So the two of you rely on easy to cook food. ( Hot dogs, ramen, etc )

Basically if you don't want to burn the house down or get food poisoning

D O O R D A S H

But whenever you order, you go and get the food. You make sure that you leave a tip and make sure that everything your ordered and paid for is there.

Last time Michael went to meet the doordash person and there was something missing, he almost fucking killed them.

Jason Voorhees ~

Makes a killer soup. Amazing for winter at the camp.

You did have to convince him not to ki the delivery person when you order from Postmates.

It can be quite tricky for the delivery person because they risk getting lost in the woods that are rigged left and right with traps.

Jason takes any food/supplies that are nonperishable from the campers he kills.

Candyman ~

He can cook but like... He doesn't eat. But obviously he isnt going to let you starve.

Takes you grocery shopping. But literally he gets the food that has amazing quality.

Grabs the 6 dollar steal from your hands and goes for the one that is 15 dollars a package.

" I know your cooking skills need a little work, my love. However, eating less quality foods will lower your standard when you cook."

Hmm, you never thought of it that way.

Brahams Heelshire ~

Let's be real.

He's going to be bratty about your cooking, or lack thereof.

Sandwiches and if he can convince you to, junk food become the norm.

The delivery guy who brings groceries notices what happens and brings " healthy " frozen food.

Sure, it's not the healthiest thing but it's sure as hell better than junk food.

Hannibal Lecter ~

OKAY NO NEED TO FEAR. YOU DATE ARGUABLY ONE OF THE BEST CHEFS IN THE WORLD.

He loves to cook for you ! He will always make food for you.

Just don't question him about the " ingredients "

Hannibal will also offer to help teach you how to cook.

The meat looks a little different when he teaches you how to pan sear it but you decide not to ask about it.

Good idea, Y/N, good idea.

Dracula ( bbc , 2020 ) ~

Okay it depends.

If he has drank your blood, you two will be fucked.

But there is also a possibility that he drank the blood of a chef during one of the many feedings of his lifetime.

Oh, and every single time you order from Uber eats, he feeds from the delivery person.

Sometimes, after he got the hang of the app, he'll order you food from your favorite restaurant.

He still feeds from the delivery person though. Does he regret it ?

No, not really lmao

Bubba Sawyer ~

He didn't even have to ask. He could tell from the billow of thick smoke that was swirling around the kitchen

Tries to get Drayton to make you something to eat whenever you are hungry if he is busy.

Bubba will often bring your your favorite snacks.

He'll try and convince those who go to the store to get your favorites.

Happy noises when you smile and start digging into your favorite foods.

Thomas Hewitt ~

You kinda don't have to worry about cooking. However, you would have a little more washing dishes since you can't cook to save your life.

Thomas might even try and convince Luda to help you learn how to cook. Or better yet, learn how to cook better.

Whenever everyone is busy with other things, Thomas might cook for you if he has the time.

Advises you to stay awake from any " meat ". Even if it is the most filing. You really don't wanna know where that meat came from.

[rahleeyah]

IMAGINE if you will. to go along with the below anon and your POV fics. And I mean this with the utmost respect for you and your ideas. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!

BUT BEWARE BESTIE. It ends in the middle because in my mind I don’t know where it would go from there. How would liv and Elliot interact in a professional setting but they are together and their personal lives? What would they talk about? This is new territory for them and I can imagine them being super private about their relationship in the workplace and not wanting to show too much.

Feel free to end it for me! Or rewrite as a whole fic. I can’t and could never capture the characters as well as you. LOL 🤣🥰

They hire someone else to replace Morales and this guy only knows the basics of what happened the year before with Wheatley. He knows the case, that Morales was the mole, and pretty much just what he had seen on the news. 

The squad doesn’t talk about the Wheatley case much and is focusing their attention on their new case. They’ve all been working crazy hours and this new guy knows bell and Stabler, being the leads, haven’t been home at a decent time in days. 

Bell has made comments here and there about her wife being upset at her, but knows it’s the job and this stage of the case doesn’t last forever- but they still don’t see eye to eye on it sometimes. The rest of the squad goes around talking about their lack of social life while laughing and discussing where they’re going to happy hour later-if they get out soon enough.

This guy has noticed though that usually, Stabler just smiles laughs and goes along with the squad but rarely offers any information himself. In fact, he doesn’t think he knows anything about Stabler’s life outside of the squad room.  Not that he hasn’t asked about what the deal is, but usually people tell him to mind his business or to get back to work. 

Until one night it’s just him, Sloot, and Washburn and he hears two kids arguing in the entryway about (enter problem here) and a woman telling them that they’ll figure it out when they get home.  he assumes that this woman is their mother. They all said share similar features and the younger one had even exclaimed that she was when arguing with her about why he didn’t get his way.

She’s leading them into the squad room while looking down at her phone and the older child is carrying a substantial amount of Chinese food. Sloot and Washburn are going over something on the computer and haven’t noticed this woman walk in with her kids so now guesses he has to deal with it.

What is this woman lost? Who comes in here with a couple kids? He had never seen her before and from what he was told this location was pretty secure. 

By now Washburn and Sloot have finished their conversation and he asks this woman if he can help her. It comes out just as exasperated as he feels and she is clearly shocked at the greeting she is getting. The two go back-and-forth, with this woman being understanding, for a little while before he notices that Washburn is behind him laughing. Even more annoyed now he turns around to snap at Washburn. But before he can, Washburn greets this woman and it’s clear that he knows her.

He greets her as Captain Benson and regret is immediately etched on his face. He will knows he will get shit for this later or worse if Stabler and Bell find out. Being disrespectful to a senior officer is a big no-no around here. How was he supposed to know this woman was a captain? Who was she and who are these kids?

It was just then that the younger one high-fives Sloot before turning to his mother and asking where his dad is. Sloot looks at the woman and responds to the child that he should be back soon. They were out following up on a lead and are expected back any minute. Shit. He knows Bell and Stabler are out but for once never made any connection. He can hear Washburn continue to laugh as the confusion is clearly written on his face. Washburn makes some comment about how he’s going to hear it from stabler when he returns. 

The older child has since put down the food they brought for everyone and unlocked his phone to scroll through various apps. Everyone’s head turns in the opposite direction towards the door when it slams open and their commanding officers walk through the door. It’s clear they’re both upset. But whether it’s from exhaustion or their lead not panning out, no one is certain.

...

ANON!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌 FUCK me this is good lmao

Ok ok ok so new guy let's call him Taylor. Taylor's standing there, looking at this woman he doesn't know, this Captain he has just insulted, however inadvertantly, this Captain who turned up with her hands full of Chinese and her kids.

Bell and Stabler, they're grumbling together as they come walking up, not paying much attention to anything else, but then Bell catches sight of the woman, and she offers a tired little smile.

"Reinforcements?" She asks as they approach. She reaches out, shakes hands with the Captain.

"Dinner," the Captain says. "There's enough for everybody," she adds, and shoots Taylor a knowing look. He wonders if she can see that his face is hot from embarrassment.

"You're a saint," Stabler tells her, steps up to kiss her cheek. He reaches for her hand, too, gives it a little squeeze while he's at it.

Holy shit, Taylor thinks. The kid was asking about his dad and then here's Stabler, kissing the kid's mom. This woman, she's his wife, and those kids, they're Stabler's kids, he thinks, and shit, how did he not know? Not know that Stabler was married, not know that his wife's a Captain, not know about the kids? Yeah, Stabler never talked about his home life, but shit.

"Hardly," the Captain laughs. Bell is busy dishing out the food, and she and Washburn and Sloot are ignoring Stabler, and his woman, and the boys. Taylor knows he should, too, but he can't help but watch. He's a cop, it's his job to be curious.

"We brought you a toothbrush!" The little one pipes up, holds up a toothbrush still in its packaging, proud.

"And a clean shirt," the older one says, not looking up from his phone.

It's just so...nice. Since Taylor's been there, Stabler's been a hard ass with a smart mouth, quiet sometimes, cocky sometimes, but he's never been soft. Just now, though, with his family, he looks warm. At peace.

"We just wanted to see you," the woman tells him softly. Stabler reaches out, tussles the little boy's hair, but his eyes are locked on the kid's mom. On the wife he hasn't seen for two days, the woman he clearly wants, but can't have in the middle of the station, in the middle of a case.

"One more day, Liv," he says. "We're close."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," she tells him, and Taylor's thinking that's probably true. She's a cop, too. She knows what the life is.

"Stay," he says. "Eat with us."

And so they do; they all stand around the table together, Washburn and Sloot and Taylor and Bell and Stabler and his Captain and his sons. Noah and Eli, Taylor learns their names, sees how comfortable they are with the rest of the team, how kindly Bell treats them. How no one else seems to think this is weird. It doesn't last too long, tho.

"I'll walk you out," Stabler says, and herds his family from the room. Mom is holding Noah's hand, and Stabler has one hand at the small of her back and one hand on Eli's shoulder. Taylor wonders if he walked them out just to get a chance to kiss his woman in private. Probably so.

"Listen to me very carefully," Bell says to Taylor once the Stablers are out of sight. "You do not ask him about his family." Her voice is deadly serious. "That man's had a hard road, he doesn't need you getting all up in his business."

"Doesn't look too hard to me," Taylor says. "Beautiful wife who loves him, two nice kids, he's got a clean shirt and none of the rest of us do."

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about," Bell says, shaking her head. "I'm just telling you, leave that man alone. And don't let him hear you call her his wife. I don't wanna have to break in two new detectives after he beats your ass."

And that makes no sense at all, but Taylor isn't stupid enough to go against his CO, no matter how curious he is about all this. So he won't ask, and he won't use the word wife, but he's got questions, and he's gonna bide his time, and keep his eyes open.

Stabler comes back, and he's actually smiling. He's had a hard road, according to Bell, but even if that's true, he looks like he's found his feet. Good for him, Taylor thinks.

"All right kids, back to work!" Stabler calls cheerfully.

It's gonna be a long night.

[themonochromesystem]

ACNH DIRECT RECAP 2/20/2020

There was an animal crossing: new horizons direct today! Here’s the biggest hits from it! Also, this post is very, very long and very in-depth (i spent well over an hour on it) so there is a cut in the beginning to save your dashboard!

btw you can watch the direct for yourself here. And if you enjoy this recap, you might want to join my animal crossing discord server!

First of all, you can pick your island (and further customise the terrain but I’ll get to that later)

And you can pick the northern or southern hemisphere! You’ll be able to experience all four seasons regardless of your pick!

You start off with two villagers! You then get an orientation from Tom Nook, Timmy, and Tommy!

You can pick where your villagers live!!! You can also see the borders of how much space the tents will take up.

BTW we’re only four minutes in to a 27 minute presentation so click the “keep reading”  to see the whole recap!

Facilities

The plaza (the leaf on the map) has Resident Services, which is run by the nooks to provide, well, basic services. They sell tools, flowers, and medicine for wasps! There’s also a crafting table to make more stuff! And it’s open 24/7!!!

Crafting works by learning the recipe, and then gathering the crafting supplies to make it! You just make it at the crafting bench in the top right corner.

You can customize furniture really easily in this game! And, Custom Designs Are Back! (more on that later)

The Airport! It’s also open 24/7 and you can travel to other islands and send letter to your residents here! Also it’s run by the cutest dodo bird

You can have 8 people on one island!

Nook Inc. Special Services

iPhone whomst? I only know the Nook Phone

CEO Tom Nook delivers an Island Broadcast aka morning news to everyone, yall my heart

The Nook Mileage Program is a lot like MEOW Coupons from acnl! Do some tasks to earn miles, to then get rewards! They’re also used to pay off the Getaway Package cost! (yall gonna need 5,000 miles for that btw)

We’ve got tool rings y’all!!!

Wasps, scorpions, and tarantulas are back y’all! Ya know how when you got bit by a tarantula or stung by a scorpion in new leaf you’d just pass out? Well wasps can do that now so #YouCanDieInACNH kldkfjdlfjfhjdffj

These aren’t here for any particular reason, I just thought the mushroom lights were pretty

My boy Wisp is back! It looks like you can collect ghosts in this game (which you could do in older games as a friend informed me)

My other son is also back! 

Apparently you can get lost and need to call a helicopter to take you home? how big are these islands??

You can build a house! and the villagers face omfg thats a great screenie Tom Nook is also supplying loans with no interest or deadlines still! thank god

The secret storage room is also back!

It appears you can change the direction of the flooring at least!

The Happy Home Designer-esque room decorator is here!

Get those snazzy houses! It appears you can have 4 rooms in your house (the main room, one to the left, right, and back)

You can use Nook Miles Tickets to go on Island Tours! You can do things like the acnl island tours, along with picking up some animal friends! There’s multiple islands and it seems to be random every time.

Apparently you can jump over small rivers to escape the tarantulas and scorpions fvbvsjfbvjlsfbvhj

Party Play lets you call residents who live on the same island as you for some local co-op!

Creatures found by the people you’re playing with are stored in the recycle box at resident services!

The Nintendo App finally has a gosh damn use! You can scan qr codes from happy home designer and new leaf! As well as talk to the people you’re playing with!

Part 2 of the Presentation 

Ya’ll you can decide where your new residents will live before-hand! You can invite some residents to live on your island as well!

More Facilities!!! The facilities shown in the direct were: the museum, nook’s cranny, able sisters, the campsite

You can move your house AND the shops and facilities once they’re built it seems!

Town services is supposed to expand into a town hall and ya’ll know what that means!!

ISABELLE!!!

Some other fan favorites will also be visiting the island! These include: Label, Harvey, Celeste, Saharah, Daisy Mae (more on her in a bit), and Kicks!

Celeste can give you a magic wand that lets you select outfits!

Daisy Mae is a new NPC who sells turnips! I speculate she’s the child of Joan, but we don’t know yet.

Fishing Tourneys and Bug Offs are now hosted by CJ and Flick! Flick is my entire aesthetic I love him!!

Free updates are coming with seasonal festivities! My main man Jack is back yall!

Island Customization is expansive! Rip homebrew bc there is no need anymore! We have easy paths, bridges, ramps, river customization, cliff customization, AND you can make your own damn waterfalls! (i’d recommend watching the direct starting at 20:49 to fully grasp this bc it’s a lot)

Happy Birthday to You! 🎶

Additional Info:

1. Up to 8 people can share an island on the same switch system 2. Animal Crossing Amiibo figures and cards are supported! They mentioned add availability to more Amiibos, so maybe the loz and splatoon ones will be added! 3. No more griefing! Only your best friends can use certain tools while visiting your island!  4. Multiplayer sessions appear to each have their own code! 5. Save backups via the Nintendo Cloud thing aren’t supported. Watch at 25:34 for more information! 6. Pocket camp players can get ACNH themed items! Follow the pocket camp twitter for more info!

So thats it! I say, after spending 2 hours making this long ass post lmao

Thanks for reading this far! Like and reblogs are greatly appreciated and follow the ACNH Bathhouse blog for more animal crossing posts! Check out the ACNH discord server for more fun chats about animal crossing and many other games!

Thanks for reading!!

[purplesurveys]

582

Have you ever played golf?: Nah but I'm kinda interested in learning it just because it’s a rich person thing lmao. But to be honest, golf was the most boring sport in Wii Sports :/

Is there a lake near your house?: Nope. I live in a city, so not a lot of bodies of water around. The nearest lake that I know, the Taal, is around two hours away.

What was the last tv show you watched an episode of?: OMG guys Gabie introduced me to Jeopardy last Monday and I AM HOOKED. Like properly hooked. We were figuring out what to watch on Netflix but we couldn’t pick anything until she just settled on Jeopardy, which I have never seen an episode of before. I protested at first cos I thought it was gonna be boring, but man oh man the elation you get when you get an answer right is the best feeling ever HAHA. Plus it’s so wholesome – the contestants are all nice to each other, there are many bonuses that let everyone catch up, and the host is just so so sweet.

Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand?: Nah dude, I hate beer.

What color is your favorite fruit?: I don’t have one.

How often do you update your Facebook status?: Barely; I mostly share posts. The only time I ever post my own content is when I change my profile picture, because Facebook makes that announcement public whether you like it or not lol. Another instance, but this time way more seldom, is when I’d post mini photo albums of loved ones for their birthdays, like for Angela or my sister.

When was the last time you went to the supermarket?: September, I think? I was on my way home from a workshop when my parents asked me to stop by the grocery to pick up a tub of ice cream cos they were craving for rocky road.

Have you ever been pulled over for speeding?: No, speeding isn’t really a big deal here; kinda makes sense considering our roads are quite small and clogged and standstill traffic takes up most of a Filipino’s daily life, making it impossible to speed unless you’re on some remote expressway.

What was the last thing you ate?: I microwaved leftover pasta from a few days ago. I might eat a doughnut soon, though.

Do you feel bad when you throw food out?: Not if it’s already expired. Otherwise I never ever ever throw food out. Poverty and malnutrition are serious issues in my country and I always either finish my food or ask for my leftovers to be packaged for takeout.

What do you think about the new Apple Watch?: I honestly don’t stay updated about the Apple Watch line cause imo they all look the same, but in general it would be nice to have one.

Have you ever been on a log flume ride?: I rode the one in Enchanted Kingdom when I was 3. I don’t think I’ve been on another one ever since.

Are you religious? What do you believe in?: Nope.

What’s your favorite thing about the weekend?: I can stop working and no one can blame me for it because it’s the fuckin’ weekend.

How often do you go to the drive-thru?: Oh my, like never. I get anxiety over potentially not understanding what the server asks or tells me, because typically they just talk over a speaker so the sound gets kinda muffled. I don’t want to go through having to ask “What was that, sorry?” five times so when I order something I usually just park and fall in line inside.

Do you know anyone who lived through a natural disaster?: Almost every Filipino I know, I guess? We’re a small country and we experience severe typhoons every year.

How do you feel right now?: [continued from last night, so the timeframe in these answers may be a little weird] I’m just fine. I’m craving Yabu so bad rn, but because I lost my (very pricy) water bottle I have to deal with the consequences and be stricter with my budget so that I can both buy a new one and at the same time save for Christmas money. That means cutting down on convenient expenses way way way more. GRRR WHY DO I LOSE ALL MY STUFF

Have you ever tried to make risotto?: I haven’t tried but my dad makes them amazingly.

What does your favorite perfume/cologne smell like?: I only ever use Heat Rush by Beyoncé haha.

How many brothers/sisters do you have?: I have one sister and one brother. <- Same.

When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever?: I’ve never tried waxing because I’m afraid of it hurting. I’ve always resorted to shaving.

Have you ever broken a window, intentionally or not?: I don’t remember ever doing so.

Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough?: We’ve made pizza dough in the past because part of our home ec projects was to make some kind of pizza from scratch.

What’s your favorite fast food place?: Jollibee or KFC.

When was the last time you went out for a meal?: It’s been AGES. It’s been very busy recently so the last one was my date with Gab two weekends ago.

Can you sing?: I sing, but I’m not any good.

Do you wear a watch?: Nope.

Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? LMAO yes. I think I’ve done this with Friends, Breaking Bad, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)?: I have no clue, but I’m starving. I know my mom is bringing home food so I may wait for that.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? What would you have done?: I don’t think so. I always say I want to get bigger boobs but I think I’d just feel artificial if I went through with it, plus I’m slowly feeling happier with my chest so it’s probs an ultimate pass for me. Have you used the app Yik Yak?: No but I used to enjoy the hilarious entries on it on like BuzzFeed listicles. I never understood how it worked, though.

Do you like shrimp?: Shrimp is fine but it’s my least favorite seafood.

Tell me three of your favorite movies.: Two for the Road and Revolutionary Road (wow I like roads) have always been my top 2, but I never actually decided on a 3rd placer. I’d probably give it to 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Are you lactose intolerant?: A bit, yep. I occasionally have severe reactions but most times either my stomach will hurt a little or I’ll just need to go to the toilet shortly after consuming milk.

What color shirt are you wearing right now?: Olive green.

Do you know how to play poker?: Nope.

Who is your favorite superhero?: I really don’t care for super heroes. Not my thing. <- Me.

[actualtext]

08/25/21

Windshield

Two weeks ago, two of my tires needed to be replaced (one had a nail, another had an air bubble from a horrendous pothole on an exit ramp in Austin) Today, a rock flew from who knows where onto my windshield only hitting one specific place, but causing at least an 18” crack. I called my insurance to file a claim, when I learned that my deductible was going to be $1000. I cried a bit and then resolved to simply work until I could make the money. It hurt a lot. Since I needed so much time, I scheduled to get it fixed on 09/03/21.

Moving

So, last year I signed a lease at this apartment that was suggested by a friend who happened to need two roommates when me and my roommate at the time also needed a place to go. oof. The time came for us to move, and holy shit did we run into some issues! So first, just so everyone (not that anyone actually reads this) knows, it was student living. My friend that suggested the place is a student currently. Anyways, we're in the process of moving in. I tell my roommate (the one I'd lived with before) that we can move his stuff first for since he lives further away from our new place. It would just be better to get it over with. But I'm still checking out my new room. I check the welcome package I was given, and I only have one key, the mailbox key. So I asked my three other roommates if they had the house key and all three of them say yes. So I have to go to the office which is really busy cause all of the other new students are also moving into their apartment at this time. I stand there for what feels like forever to find out that I also need to take a copy of the key that I need in order to have it replaced. (I don't know, I guess I thought they had a whole fuck load of copies. lmao) So I go back, ask one of my roommates for his apartment door key, then head back to the office where I also request a copy of my room key. They check their key ring and they cannot find a key for my room door. They tell me that they'll have to change the lock. It's fine, it's not locked and I don't need to lock it any time soon. I take the copy of the apartment key and plan to simply keep moving my stuff until they need to change the lock. While I'm out and about, one of the staff members takes the master key to my apartment and tests it on my room door to see if it will work so they can make a copy. In order to test the master key, they need to lock my room door to see if it will unlock. Freakin turns out that the master key doesn't work on my room door. I return with a few items I plan on moving in, I put some stuff in my room but don't plan on staying there that night since I don't have any bed sheets on my bed. I plan to go back to my old place, pack up a little more and return the next day to continue moving in my stuff. As I leave, I close the door to my room, but then remember that I need to grab a coupon that I wanted to use. The door was locked. There was no key and I wasn't able to enter. The following four days are literally just me going to the office, letting them know that my door is locked, them telling me that I need to put in a maintenance request, and me just staring at my door waiting for it to be unlocked. Finally I get fed up and go to the office one last time to let them know that I haven't been able to move in this entire time and it's making me sad. They freak out and get the ball rolling on my lock changing process. Bam, door's open and I can move my stuff in. I love my room and the view that came along with it.

Jake

On the 13th of August, I gave a ride to a guy. It was a normal ride like any other ride I've given. We had a regular conversation, I dropped him off and went about my life. The following morning I received a text from my driver app letting me know that he had forgotten something in my car the night before. I let him know that I had since had multiple people in my vehicle and had even had it washed. I didn't find what he had lost. He gave me his number and told me to message him if I found anything in the future. I said I would, and said my good byes, and then he said his... followed by a wink. I messaged him instantly thinking he was trying to bait me to do so anyways. "A winky face, really?" He gave a good explanation saying that he was at work and his hands were slippery from working with the zucchini that he was loading onto the display at the grocery store he worked at. Maybe I was just naive, but I totally believed him.

He was charming. Funny and sweet. He told me about himself during the car ride the day before. He told me that he had a bunch of babies with his ex wife, wasn't really looking for anything serious, that he was ex military, that he had an 11 year old tumor in his leg that was cancerous and would be the death of him, but that he had to stay positive. I try not to talk about myself too much to my passengers for my own safety, so I didn't really take into consideration that he didn't really ask about me. But looking back, that should have been the first red flag.

He messaged me regularly, asking about my day, telling me about his, how much he was in pain and how shitty having to go to chemo was, and how lonely he was, and how badly he wanted to just be held. I let him know that knowing about all of his pain made me sick to my stomach. I'm an empath. I feel everything very strongly. I told him not to tell me how badly he wanted to be held because I was a people pleaser and that I would be tempted to go hold him. This budding friendship was growing on me way too quickly and way to strongly for me to feel safe, but I didn't want it to stop. It was like yearning death and then being diagnosed with cancer. It was scary, but I wanted it.

And then I actually saw a red flag. It only drew me in more. We had been texting and he had asked for a ride, offering to pay for it of course. I had responded in multiple messages cause he never got back to me. Then at the end of the day, I let him know I was going to sleep and he said it was okay, that he knew I wouldn't be going to drive him since I never responded (which I had, he simply hadn't received the messaged). I showed him proof that I had responded and yet he proceeded to say "I had to spend so much money just to get to and from work" as if it was my fault, when it wasn't anyone's fault that our phones weren't cooperating. I should have left it at that, but I liked him, and I think my reasoning for doing so might be sick af.

I have this theory that I might only like Jake because he's dying. Now hear me out. I've always been into sickly looking pale dudes that look like they're on the verge of death. Since I was about 12, believe it or not. Initially, I thought maybe I was just attracted to him. However, upon further analysis of the situation, I think the people pleaser in me might just feel sorry for him and his situation, and might wanna just make his time left here on the planet as enjoyable as possible. Which is totally fucked up and I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm sick.

I say this because... I continued to talk to him, overlooking the red flag. After the whole phone thing happened, we agree to start messaging on instagram instead, since it seemed to be a more reliable method of messaging each other. We discussed how he wished he would just die already. He was tired of being sick and tired. I apologized and explained that I wish there was something I could do to help him. This led into the conversation about (red flag #3 but who's counting?) how people (me, myself and I) always make everything about themselves. This man was a manipulator pro because I believed him. I FUCKING APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING A (supposedly two way, but obviously one way) CONVERSATION ABOUT ME. I felt so shitty. This guy is dying and all I can do is apparently talk to him him about myself and try to help him get to know me. After I apologized profusely (like an idiot), I thought things were better. But of course he felt like shit and I felt like I needed to help him somehow. So then we discussed what he felt would help him and low and behold *CRINGE WARNING* it was physical connection, sex, intimacy. He said he wanted to be held but that he could never get that from anyone. I asked if he had bothered asking anyone to help him in the way he needed to be helped and he said NO. -_- So I explained to him that in order to receive, he would need to ask first. He said rejection would simply add to the stress he was under. My simp self let him know I would totally love to help him but then my insecure self jumped right in and said some bull shit like "but I'm ugly and fat and you probably have higher standards than the likes of me" GROSS. I don't believe I would talk about myself like that. Seeking validation from a fucking man. UGH but you'll see, it's a fucking common occurrence. Me and Jake are toxic for each other and to our selves with each other. Enablers. Its sick. He said some really sweet things, to which I responded sassily, which upset Jake of course. This was all in text so he read my sass as anger. Then he got upset with me. I told him I didn't feel like I was making his life any easier and that I was sorry for the stress I put him under and that I would leave him alone. I genuinely felt bad yet again. This guy was dying and I was trying to be sassy with him? Monster. I left him alone for quite some time, during which I wrote and rewrote potential apologies in order to gain this tortured soul back as a friend. I never sent any, surprisingly. But it crushed me. I wanted him in my life. I felt like all the independence I had gained while being single SIMPly vanished, and I needed his friendship, his companionship, to make me feel like my days weren't being wasted, to make me feel needed. IM SO SICK.

But then... the unimaginable happened. He messaged me "I feel like giving up today" and of course I don't want him him. I live for this toxic exchange. He says "I want to be held." &My naive, people pleasing ways gave me the perfect push to tell him I could be there for him, to hold him. "I wanna be fucked and held." Of fucking course. I mean, I totally already wanted to fuck his brains out anyways, and I already knew thats what the fuck he wanted ultimately. And this was the perfect thing I needed in order to feel needed. Ugh. It was glorious. I'm sick, I know.

So we plan it. We set a day and start making arrangements, and then something weird happens. I have to ask for his address at least four times. I give up after he just doesn't respond. I tell him "It's probably for the better. I feel like I might be coming down with something" which was the truth, and I wouldn't have wanted to get him sick. Just in case he's not receiving my messages like last time, I send him a screenshot of all of the messages I've sent him through instagram. I'm not gonna lie. I felt blown off after he had just asked me to fuck him. I felt like a damn fool being made to wait when I was ready to go.

The following day he messages me asking if I'm okay, and I respond coldly "I'll survive." He says "ok" which I just leave on read cause fuck that two letter piece of shit response. There was a chance I could have had COVID-19. Jerk.... But then that night he messages me at like 2am. I, of course, was already thinking about him so I got excited like a fool. I made him feel bad about not giving me his address which he swears he tried, but that I never got anything. I said, not fucking around, "if that's true, give me your address right now." and the mother fucker did. On top of that, he tried to guilt trip me. I explained that I was still getting over my sore throat and he was like "you're good," saying like "don't worry about me then" and so I was like "okay" BUT THEN he was like "I'll just be here.. ready to go... and still feeling all shitty like the other night.. and thinking about how it's the one year anniversary of my grandma's death" AHHHH haha and yes, I said "I'll be right fucking there" or something along those lines.

So I get there. I shower real quick cause I'm all full of germs. get out and lay next to him and he's just stiff. He seems nervous. He just keeps talking, which is fine. While his voice isn't exactly my favorite, I know he has a lot to get off his chest and so I just let him talk. I caress his arms, and his chest, and his face. I have my mask on just in case. And then I reach down between his legs and start caressing his dick which is already hard, of course, and he starts touching me. I pull down my shorts and panties and he works my hardened nub, and I just want him inside of me already, so I dip his fingers inside of me. The whole time, I'm panting and holding onto him so tight, all while caressing him still. He pulls his shorts down and I continue the assault on his cock, and he asks if I wanna taste, to which I say yes, of course. Cause I really do. I do my best, and I hear him moan and its as rewarding as you would think :) and he uses his big strong hands to guide my head, and the whole oral thing is just wonderful. 10/10 would do again. And then I ask if he has condoms, and he does, thankfully. So he slips one on, I get on my hands and knees on his bed then he plays with me a little and slips it in. Mmm. He honestly felt really good. He's an average sized dude, with no hair obviously (thanks to chemo), so he felt so comfortable inside of me, and I'm just genuinely enjoying him taking me from behind. He does that for a little while, and I guess before he can come, he pulls out so that he can eat me out (ugh, what a fucking gentleman). And I'm all self conscious cause I have a hairy puthy, but he doesn't seem to mind. I just see his cute bald head nodding no, and licking away at my gal, and man he feels so fucking good. I can't help but moan his name. I just wanna hold him there forever but he has other plans. Once he's full, he comes back up, puts my legs on his fucking shoulders and just rams his cock into me and continues to drive himself deeper and deeper, making me feel closer and closer to him. I know I'm a fucking psycho. This is honestly the first time that I've admitted it to myself, and I don't let myself get this way with many people, so it is just as surprising to me as it may be to you (the endless abyss) that I would feel this way about a man I met two fucking weeks ago. So anyways. My mask obviously came off to give him head, and it stayed off. But he fucking kisses me while fucking the shit out of me and I lose my shit. Did I come? No. I never cum unless its with myself. But I felt so fucking good. It felt so nice to feel so wanted for fucking once.

After everything went down, we put our clothes back on and laid in bed for the next few hours just talking like nothing had ever happened. It was wild. My mask was forever lost, or so it seemed after searching for it vigorously. After I left, he gave me a kiss on my cheek, which I feel like I should have reciprocated, I just hadn't ever experienced what I had just experienced so I didn't know exactly how to react.

When I left, he sent me a few texts to let me know that he found my mask, but also to thank me. he said "Thank you. I needed that. To get all of that out. I really do appreciate you lending your body and your time to me. If it sucked for you I'm so sorry. I know you're driving. I'll stop. I hope it really didn't suck that bad, or that you're not mad." and my heart, man.. it just exploded. He was so willing to be vulnerable, and I was thinking to myself, "baby, whenever you want it, it's yours."

Then the next day came around and I was all stupid in love or something cause I drove an hour to drive him 7 minutes away from his house and then drove an hour back home to finish moving my stuff to my new place. What kinda of fucking stupid am I? Why do I feel so strongly about this Jake?

Today, I started feeling insecure. It could be the lack of sleep, or the lack of food or just my general lack of health. I messaged him the lamest thing because wanted reassurance. "Do you by any chance think less of me? heh. Just curious"

To which he responded sarcastically, and broke my heart. I literally cried. Over a boy I've known for two weeks. I haven't been so stupid since high school. I let him know how he had made me feel and he called me manipulative, stating that I was claiming he was a villain and that I was the victim. I was simply communicating how he had made me feel.

I was such a simp for this dying boy and I'm truly ashamed. Part of me wants to believe that he really did like me and that he really just couldn't put much effort into what could have been a great relationship. But part of me, my gut feeling, believes that he just wasn't that into me to begin with, and no matter how much I care for him or about him, it won't change the fact that he doesn't care about me back. I messaged him apologizing for catching feelings cause he had specifically stated that he wasn't looking for anything serious, and yet I caught the feels. I felts like that was a good reason to apologize. I told him I understood that he just simply didn't have the energy or time for someone like me who was yearning for nothing more than an "I miss you too" text. I let him know that ghosting him wasn't an option, but then he told me that he wished I had.

So that's the short story of Jake. It wasn't a happy ending, but it never could have been anyways.

Veggly

A long time ago, I had actively taken part in the whole scrolling and swiping left and right thing. I had seriously given up on dating. It was depressing having to reject so many people in such a short amount of time, compared to doing it in person with months of buffer between each rejection. I just kept my profile up to make friends cause it was taking a told on how I viewed myself. I felt like a bad person, but I also didn't want to lower my standards.

Tristan and I had matched a long time ago. He was so attractive to me that I told him "Sir, you look like a supermodel, unlike my profile RN" trying to be funny. I never got a response, probably cause he had plenty of other options out there. But one day, he messaged me apologizing for the wait. It was really weird and honestly I feel like a last resort.

Francisco just recently matched with me. He also made the first move to message me. He has a cute dog, likes to eat vegan junk food, and is mildly attractive, just being real. He snaps me every day, although really sporadically and sparsely, but he makes that attempt to at least reach out once a day. And that is really refreshing. However, he is moving to Sicily in about three months. heh.

I'm not sure where any of these will go but hopefully I'll end up with at least a friend.

[apileoflaundry]

found another thing

have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Yeah but never one that was all that interesting do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Used to have a ton of them, but not anymore. I had one when I was a kid, it was from Oklahoma, and it was about tipping cows. That was cool lol. what is one place you would like to go back and revisit? Chicago. Haven’t been there in awhile. which would you prefer: a homemade gift, or a store-bought one? Homemade but obviously I’d accept store-bought ones. have you ever hugged a complete stranger? I’m not sure but probably not

when was the last time you were “under the influence?” Never how regular of an occurrence is this? Never what random acts of kindness have you engaged in lately? Sometimes I pick up trash from the ground. Idk what else do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? who? Probably plenty of people but I don’t care who. I’ve never read all of them myself have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer? It feels like I have but I can’t remember what ended it, or are you still involved? *shrug* what kind of scented lotion is your favorite? I don’t care where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum? When I was a kid I stuck it in someone’s car, she was pissed and made me clean it up what’s the best time you’ve had at a high school sports game? I went to a game with my dad, it was my high school vs. some school whose mascot was the Coyotes. But it wasn’t held at either high school, it was at our rival’s if you’re out late, where are you likely to be? Not likely to be out late do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? It doesn’t have one when was the last time you had hot chocolate? It was at school and it was basically hot water shirts with sarcastic sayings: yay, or boo? Yay. I want some. I have a baseball shirt that says “touchdown” if that counts if “yay,” do you have a favorite? ”Why be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic when you could just be quiet?” (maybe not sarcastic but it feels like it) if you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? Yeah I’ve got too much to live for, hope in a better future and of course being there for my girlfriend as examples what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Anything I fanboy over

what is your least favorite topic to discuss? Uhhh personal things when I’m talking to people I don’t want to share them with when was the last time you played hide-and-go-seek? A couple years ago with my cousins where was your favorite place to hide? I never had one what is your opinion on psychics? real, or fake? Isaac Newton didn’t even exist he was just made up, so was physics have you ever watched “are you smarter than a fifth grader?” Yeah, I actually liked it when I was a kid how would you rank your “class participation” in school? It’s horrible in a group because I hate talking to people, but I still raise my hand in class so it’s not too bad have you ever cut your own hair? how about anyone else’s? A few times for myself, never for anyone else. You know how in books and movies there’s a trope where a kid cuts their own hair and it looks like shit? That never happened to me lmao. what is your favorite holiday treat? My grandmother makes these cookies called chocolate dogs and they’re delicious. I should ask her for the recipe so I can make some on my own. how many people have you emotionally hurt? Don’t have a specifically number but probably too many. I’m not the absolute worst person in the world but I’m kind of fucked up. I’m working on bettering myself and I’ve made some progress, but I certainly feel ashamed of my past. how many people have you physically hurt? I fought with my brother as a kid. But other than that not that many, I’m normally not physically violent. were these times intentional, or were they accidents/mistakes? Well both...I don’t want to go into detail :P what is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? I asked for a haircut yesterday because I have no money. My dad gave me $40 and I have yet to use it. do you have any buttons or pins on your backpack? No but it would be pretty cool to have some.

if yes, what do they say? N/A what is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. It goes well with cheese. And this weird spicy mustard we have in the fridge. do you know anyone who is truly obsessive compulsive? Not that I know of. have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No. how many “top friends” do you have on myspace? ???

do you like oatmeal? It’s okay. I’ve never had good oatmeal though, just the crappy packaged kind from the store.

how many people are on your bzoink friends list? ?????? How old is this???? do you enjoy mainstream music, or prefer underground bands? Depends on what “mainstream” is. The Beatles are very popular but they’re not the top band of 2019. Anyway I like rock music so not very mainstream in the first place how many bands are you “friends” with on myspace? W h a t are you friends with more bands than individual people? meep

do you have a library card? do you use it? Yeah but rarely. I should use it more do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yeah I cuddle with my cat! He likes curling in a ball next to me when I’m sleeping :3 do you have any candy left over from halloween? I didn’t go trick or treating last year so no. I have some candy stored in my bedroom though. It’s mostly stuff I don’t care about but it’s still candy have you heard of paula godspeed? No have you ever made a bzoink friend test? I’ve never even heard of bzoink who has the best score on it? Jesus Christ himself do you think that you work better under pressure? It depends on what under pressure means. I work better when a deadline is coming up, and I buckle down and get to work. But I don’t work well when someone’s yelling at me to get stuff done, it just makes me stressed and I don’t work well when stressed.

or, do you ONLY work under pressure? Uh no what college did you want to attend as a kid? ASU was that still your choice when you grew up? I mean I’m 18 but I still feel like a kid, my plan is to go there after community college what sports star or athlete did you aspire to be like as a kid? I don’t play sports what has happened to all your old toys? We threw most of them out. But some of them, like my baby toys, were given to other people. when was the last time you shopped at a garage sale? When I was 10. I had a babysitter that liked garage sales have you ever thrown popcorn at anyone? I don’t think so but it sounds like something I would do haha

What’s your definition of weird? There are different kinds of weird. There’s weird as in, you’re different from other people, and there’s weird as in, you’re fucking creepy. The former is like people who like things that aren’t socially acceptable but don’t harm anyone, and the latter is when they do harm others, like pedophiles. I gladly accept anyone who’s weird as long as they’re not the harmful type. Do you use shaving cream? No because as of the time of writing I don’t need to shave. When I start testosterone I will When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean? I cleaned up a little the other day but it’s still messy Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Not personally. Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? No, but that would devastate the shit out of me.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yep. Have you ever coughed up blood? I’ve coughed up mucus with blood in it, but never pure blood How do you wish you could die? In my sleep. And also when just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do in my life has been fulfilled. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve had lately? I haven’t had one lately. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My dad I think What were the last words you said? ”(Brother’s name), be quiet” Who was the last person you hugged? My brother Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what? Don’t have Facebook What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Woke up one morning and my abdomen hurt like crazy for unknown reasons, I didn’t even want to get up. What kind of mouse pad do you have? I have one of a tiger that I’m not using. What color is your mouse? Black and gray. Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Do you think you’re fat? No. Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia? Not that I know of. Did you ever want a pony when you were little? Yeah, I was never crazy about it but I had a toy pony named Boots, named after a pony my grandmother had. What’s your favorite cheese? Monterrey Jack I guess What’s your favorite cake? Ice cream cake is the shit What are you having/what did you have for dinner tonight? I didn’t have much of a dinner but I stole some fries from my dad and I had a shake from Sonic. What’s your favorite dessert food? Brownies. With M&Ms. What’s your favorite candy? Snickers. Have you ever had a Nos? Wtf is a Nos?? How long have you been taking this survey? A couple hours on and off What are you listening to right now? Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups. It reminds me of a friend I used to have. Our friendship died awhile ago, maybe it was mostly my fault for not maintaining it, but I still find it sad even though I haven’t talked to him in years. Still it’s a great song, I just felt like sharing that What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My family sleeping What’s your worst fear? Shitting myself. I’m not kidding it scares the hell out of me Are you an outcast? Absolutely. Do you exercise? Hardly ever. I walk occasionally and ride my bike infrequently, but that’s about all I do. I know I should exercise more but I’m not sure where to start Do you hate it when people repeat themselves? Only when it’s annoying Do you say like a lot? Yep What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) Fried Twinkies Do you have a good memory? In 5th grade we went on a field trip to St Louis. We went to this museum for kids and I had a lot of fun. The most I remember of it was that there was a slide that was dark and it sent you to a room, and it had a camera so you could see if someone’s on the slide. We flipped off the camera. Do you dislike writing school essays? Yes Are you a very open-minded person? I’m mostly open-minded but not as much as I could be. Are you modest? Yeah I think so What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Funny, dorky, kind ones.

Do you skate? Not really Are you in a band? Nope Can you play the guitar? If not, what other instrument do you play? I wanted to pick it up a long time ago but I hate playing instruments. I don’t know how to play anything besides the recorder If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be? The initials of everyone in the band (idk) What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti but I fucking love pasta Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I go over there What’s the perfect first date? Cuddling and watching anime Have you ever had rabies? No Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? No Have you ever gone hunting? No Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No Are you a vegetarian? Nope, I love meat Do you know any vegetarians? What about vegans? Yes Do you know what a vegan is? How about fruititarian? Oh come on What’s your favorite search engine? Google Internet Explorer or Firefox? Safari or Firefox? Chrome Do you have hair in your nose? Who doesn’t?? How long, in miles, is the width of your fingernail? 100000000000000000000+ miles Are you a math wiz? Noooo What’s your favorite subject? Don’t have one What is your locker number at school? Do you have a lock on your locker? We don’t have lockers. Used to but we got rid of them Have you ever received a note in your locker? No Do you like to laugh? Definitely, but doesn’t everyone?

Damn it’s over? I want to write more even though I'm tired :<