#but thats the vibe rn
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From 'Dream of a woman' By Cacey Plett.
This sums up exactly how I feel about most transition timelines. As much as they reflect people's experiences, they are also a narrative. And the narratives that get shared the most tell a lot about what our values are. The timelines that get the most attention are the ones where people go from sad, loser, nothing boys into beautiful women.
But if you go to /r/transitiontimelines or a similar place, and sort by controversial or look at what has the least likes, its people who made timelines when they still don't 'pass' yet. Even if they're happy as can be, that's not what people are looking for.
I think it says a lot about what people expect from trans women, that they only want to see us be beautiful. In some cases, that they want to believe they can be beautiful. So there is no value in trans life if you're not beautiful.
#i dont know if this is exactly what the narrative was trying to convey here but it is something i felt while reading it#and i hope thats meaningful to others when shared#i know he's kind of a chucklefuck but i so think 'the queer art of failure' by J. Halberstam has a lot to say about the impetus to he happy#and its conditions#a lot of the time i feel like i have to perform positivity as a trans woman because its whats expected both from women#and from people lucky enough to transition#while at the same time social conditions are worsening and even personally#there arent solutions to much of my dysphoria#regardless of all that you're expected to just be happy even though the conditions for that don't exist#i think being honest about those things#that negativity#can bring its own happiness#and i think thats also valuable#i guess what im trying to say is that i think ugly trannies can be happy and should be valued#i think sad trannies are wonderful and ought to be cherished#and i think people shouldnt have to pretend to be happy in the same way a woman shouldn't have to pretend to be a man#maybe that doesnt make full sense and i need to think harder to communicate my feelings#but thats the vibe rn#anyways#i really like this book and yall should check it out#dream of a woman#cacey plett#trans women#transgender#trans#transmisogyny#transition timeline#i dont mean this post to denigrate timelines btw#just the way that we give certain ones attention and the teleology of transition that follows#books
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Hey can everybody turn around and not look at my blog real quick. Thanks
IM GONNA THROW UP
BRUCE TIMM IN IN YOUR FUCKING WALLS
FAT ALFRED WIN FATHER ALFRED FAIL!!!!!!!!
#im aware its totally dumb for me to be mad about this#bc like i get it thats the whole vibe of the show were not going for wholesome here#but it hurts me. just a bit.#listen im in a weird place rn#and i want to like this show#but. hhhhhhhhh#I mean it's not a *bad* interpretation#I fully acknowledge that#objectively#alfred is a bad distant father figure#in order for the whole batman thing to happen at all#im just. dumb and attached
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"77.kra" just hits different
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#tw body horror#<- i think thats applicable here? better safe than sorry with this stuff methinks#i need to draw characters i like as little messed up thangs from time to time. its enrichment that is crucial to my wellbeing actually#+ brush im feeling the most rn vibes more with this stuff vs literally anything else. its either i go along w it or suffer artblock forever#also the whole “looks hella weird but its still the same moron” thing scratches my brain idk. nothing he does is intentional hes just dumb#i fear(/pos) ppl who make him look really damn pretty btw. yall are so real for that and have so much power i really respect yall djfmgd
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Yknow when I first saw Chronos i couldn't quite take him seriously bc he's... he's a twink. who gave him that tiny tiny waist and those birthgiving hips? why is he built like that? i expected a giant or something, i mean the big 3 brothers are built ykno their father should be big muscly guy too right?? and then i realized he's got an hourglass shape and. 😶
my bad supergiant u are right. titan of time. hourglass. titan of time? hourglass. checks out ✓ he is hourglass shaped. an hourglass. ⌛that. that is him. titan of time alright. hourglass
but still that tiny waist
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#c rambles#sir titan of time chronos u are a twink. like ur a tall twink i'll give u that but. dasjklhfdsfhskf#i just fucking jsaldjsjfs#but like i was so gagged when i realized he's an ⌛#i like shut my mouth. hes a fcuking hourglass holy shit!#like i cant dispute them at all thats lowkey brilliant i am kinda mad it makes sense#i gotta say that gold in his skin looks immaculate. like everything about him looks good#its just that fucking waist lmao#k kardashian wishes she had that fucking waist bruh#also is it only me or does he remind you of gabriel agreste from miraculous ladybug?? askhfdsjfs#like idk why? maybe bc hes tall and blondish... and that pose too. but like idk sdsjhlafkhasdf#how am i gonna respect that man with the gabriel vibes (the least respectable man in ml) and that tiny waist...#i gotta play more i only saw him officially once#in fact im gonna do that rn lol i just had to ramble about the game#my shit
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I love you Eclipses with multiple arms. I love you Eclipses that can retract or add more at will. I love you Eclipses who stole their extra arms from other people. I love you Eclipses who were made with multiple arms to wrangle more kids. I love you Eclipses who have multiple arms because they aren't entirely animatronic.
I love you Eclipses with multiple voices. I love you Eclipses who stitch together clips of other people speaking to communicate. I love you Eclipses who speak with a layer of heavy static. I love you Eclipses who speak only in video game sound effects. I love you Eclipses who don't speak at all.
I love you Eclipses with a red/black/orange color scheme. I love you Eclipses with a yellow and blue color scheme. I love you Eclipses with a purple color scheme. I love you Eclipses with a black and white color scheme. I love you Eclipses with a glitchy handful of colors.
I love you Eclipses who hate Sun and Moon. I love you Eclipses who love Sun and Moon. I love you Eclipses who have a messy relationship with Sun and Moon. I love you Eclipses who are Sun and Moon.
I love you Eclipses who bite and snarl. I love you Eclipses who are cold and calculating. I love you Eclipses who are scared and anxious. I love you Eclipses who are silly and whimsical. I love you Eclipses who are ominous and unsettling.
I love you Eclipses who sink their claws into everything out of a fear it will leave. I love you Eclipses who believe they've never done anything wrong. I love you Eclipses who actually have never done anything wrong. I love you Eclipses who were made to fail. I love you Eclipses who deserved better.
I love you Eclipses <3
#xero says things#sorry i'm in a MOOD tonight#eclipse has always been my favorite tbh#even before tsams when eclipse was still just that sprite in balloon world#the whole vibe has just. absolutely wholly enraptured me#i have seen lots of art and read lots of fics and a lot of these are based of those eclipses ive seen before. the voice one is almost-#-entirely me tho LMAO a lotta ppl make eclipse talk normally so thats all in my heart.....#dca fandom#fnaf dca#fnaf eclipse#eclipse fnaf#dca eclipse#eclipse dca#glitchdrop#sams eclipse#eclipse sams#< tsams is my primary fandom rn so. yk HSJAHS#long post
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?
was listening to Gehenna (by wotaku) like 2 days ago, still do. and made this...
#i didn't really like putting the lyrics i'm referencing#cuz i don't know whos who. it can be like what i was thinking back while making this... or another idrk#the vibe and the overall song does remind me of them though#idk. but what do you guys think#also side note i was hesitant of posting this on main.#but... oh well... just what if#frev#frevblr#frev shitposting#robesmoulins#robespierre#camille desmoulins#maximillian robespierre#french revolution#antoine with a triple e's art or sumn#forgive me if you somehow see this#edit fucked up the song name i just noticed it rn... 😭 but thats fine ig yall can just reblog it again
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i need a bw3 so bad just cause I need to know if iris is older or younger than drayton currently. right now. at this time
#if the same time has passed in game as it has irl it has been 14 years#if drayton is 17/18 (assumption) then he'dve been 3/4 during bw if it takes place the year it was released#iris wouldve been 10 putting a 7/8 year gap between them making her the big sibling and thats making me insane#iris could be a grown ass adult with a job rn and we wouldnt even know....#the vibe of iris being drays older sister is so drastically different than the other way around#'grown ass adult with a job' as opposed to what we already know her to be. small ass child with a job#kae.txt#they dont even have to make a game if they fr dont want to just give me a update in like a magazine or smth on where everybody at rn
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Here’s my opinion on the current bell’s hells polycule:
If you’d like to make your own here you go:
#I know not everyone will agree! I don’t care I did this for fun hop off my d*ck#critical role#imodna#ashrym#dorym#fearniture#callowmoore#doomstorm#idk all of the ship names#sorry#but this is vibes based ALONE#physical only means *for now* who knows if it develops more in the future#I don’t know that fearne is one to commit to one person thats the only reason callowmoore isn’t red for me rn#but yeah.#polyhells#poly bells hells
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Feel like a creep!!! (less that i give, more that you want me)
#nsbu#russell feeld#never stop blowing up#midnight draws#d20#dimension 20#first of all. this is my tank top thesis. i think it always needs to be comically slutty. how far can we push it#second. as always allys character has captivated me despite the lack of serious or clear arc rn. TIMOTHY PART 2...maybe thats part of it lo#caption is edited from Light the Way by Mikki ekko. song that made me start drawing is Heat Lightning mitski if that helps you see the vibe#idunno theres something quietly depressing about him just as there is for the rest of the cast (i say. talking about the comedycrazy season#BUT.....stagnancy and emotional avoidance and the bandaid fix of a hookup. nothing i can do....not much i can change....#i think hes a little like tom cruise. overwhelming friendliness and nothing behind the eyes <----- words of a normal person
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oohh i love ur post-end tord... that guy is not doing well at all!! what r ur thoughts on how hes doing post-end if i may ask? and what r ur thoughts on how the guys r doing post-end if i may ask :3
short answer: not good.
tord just gets angrier and angrier. he lost his arm, his eye, his friends, and even the robot he went back to retrieve in the first place. i think he either A) drowns himself in work creating weapons of mass destruction, or B) becomes so god damn guilty he spends his time working on a time travel device to go back and "fix" everything. nobody knows what exactly he means by that.
the other three don't do well either.
tom may have not liked tord all that much, but knowing how much edd liked him, tom feels conflicted about killing tord (to his knowledge). he doesn't really show it, aside from drinking even more than usual.
edd lost his oldest friend, and always thinks back on how it all went down and what he could've done to change it (much like tord. muahaha the parallels). the most affected by tord's apparent death.
matt lost pretty much all of his stuff... which was a lot. he's a lot more distrusting of people after the end, and regularly mourns his awesome "junk" collection.
..... to be honest, i'm not a huge fan of where the end leaves the characters. part 2 manages to end on a bittersweet note, but it still doesnt really sit right with me. i guess my art takes place in a time where tord comes back for other reasons, and ends up moving back in for real.
#those crazy kids. theyll figure it out.#very much picking and choosing from canon lol. thats how you do sometimes#i think this is the first time ive Ever drawn paul + patryk.#also you Bet im thinkin about a story where tord goes back and makes his past self fix his mistakes. ough the angst.....#honestly im getting some dirk vibes from tord rn#this was a fun exercise#my art#digital art#sketch#eddsworld#ask#thank u for the ask :3
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jamiazu / ashenviper week day 5: alternate universe
can i offer u a farm fresh egg in this trying time 😐😐🥚
i almost forgot and skipped this day's theme jdksfjsdkl i was head in the clouds plotting ahead for the other two...
anyway ummm this is from one of my assorted twst farming sim au plots lol... most notably this one with jamil imagined as like the 'silent protagonist' harvest moon style, and azul as one of the potential marriage candidates [like mermaid leia from hmds lol]
#ashenviper week 2024#jamiazu#ashenviper#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#twst#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#twst farming sim au#the older doodles are VERY messy lol#i mean so is this but i spent a lil more time on this lolol#from 2 years ago omg... i miss drawing silly aus what the hell#i was considering either this or the seaside heartslabyul+scarabia cafe au#bc that one also has jamiazu in it <3#but ive posted the farm sim au snippets before so that was easier lol#therye not very expressive in this one lolol i dont have a lot of energy rn#just kinda quietly staring at each other. all the energy was eaten up by the fic i wrote for yesterday ig LOL#wait im literally looking at the post i linked and i also have the emojis 😐🥚 there klfsdjfklsjdf i didnt even open it til just now...#thats just the vibe of these games for me. straight face drop gift onto love interest#and eggs r plentiful and easier to draw#ok wahtever i am tired now but yayyyy jamiazu wahooo yayyy
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Bittersweet fish 🌏💫
#fish#koi fish#yin and yang#sun and moon#ldr#long distance#long distance relationship#but also it can mean anything you think it means#friendships.. identity.. world dimensions#also um. sorry if theybdont look like koi fish irl#i went off of my soul (vibes and feelings) not a reference pixture#theyre some kind of fish thats for sure …#ebonytailsart#going to turn this into a fish#may even turn the fish into acrylic charms or stickers in the future because i love them#sadly the print will not be as intense as this#but thats bevause neon cyan is impossible to print so far. well. not impossible. but its Very Hard to capture with inks#so the final product IRL would be different#but until i have a physical store you get the pretty intense version#i love you. digital art. but the average printing world is not ready for you as much as we want it to be#this print will be A5..? 5.83 inches squared#god i hope it comes back looking alright#doing test prints rn#the fish. they are in love
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do yall ever have those ocs that are part of a wip in theory, but you have next to zero actual ideas for the wip in question, so the oc is just kinda floating around in your brain with no story attached, but you love them so much you can't bring yourself to actually scrap the wip?
#bc thats me with sutton rn#and i love the vibes of the wip and everything#but thats literally all there is#vibes#just vibes no plot no worldbuilding none of it#so i still want to make it work but its just#oh my god#a struggle#my thoughts#oc#writeblr#writing community#writer problems#ocs
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Penciled Lines
(Cross-posted on ao3, if you prefer to read it there. Reblogs still appreciated!)
Missa wakes up, and he thinks he might be doomed. This doesn’t scare him nearly as much as it should.
Missa is awake early—by his own metric, anyway. His nocturnal nature causes “early” for him to mean “early night” and not “early morning.” Regardless, “early” means that Philza is not asleep yet, still going through his nightly rituals. “Early” means that Philza is sitting up in (his? their?) the bed, pillows propped up behind him, notebook in his lap, sketching away.
And when Missa wakes up to the soft scritch-scratch of a charcoal pencil on textured paper, his forehead just so happens to be brushing Philza’s hip.
Missa can hardly breathe.
Oh no.
He knows that if he gives any indication that he is awake, Philza will stop sketching, close his notebook, shift himself over until he is politely seated on his side of the bed, and greet Missa with a friendly smile. Philza has done it before, when Missa wakes up early. That’s how Missa knows he’ll do it again.
Thus, Missa can hardly breathe—his breaths have to be the slow in-out of sleep. He can’t so much as twitch, either. He has to keep quiet and play dead or else he’ll be found out. Seen. Caught living the lie.
“Husband,” Philza calls him. They’re not married. They share a bed. They’re hardly ever in it at the same time. They have a son and a daughter. Neither of them know Missa very well. Philza has had an extra set of armor and a skull on his backpack for months, waiting for Missa. Missa doesn’t even know Philza’s last name.
Philza is a good man and a good friend—and Missa doesn't deserve him. Still, he takes what he can get. Curls around it. Hoarding every innocent kindness Philza extends like a starving creature: the generosity of a backpack fully stocked with equipment; the trust Philza places in Missa to watch the kids when he’s asleep; and now, the courtesy of not moving his hip from Missa’s forehead to ensure his “sleeping” isn’t disturbed. Missa clutches all of these little offerings in his greedy claws and hugs them into his chest, even as the guilt eats away at him.
Because, regardless of the lack of mutual feeling, he loves Philza. He loves him so, so much, and that is why he is doomed. He can’t afford to lose what little he has. He can’t cross that line.
So Missa lies beside Philza, forehead pressed against Philza’s hip, pretending to sleep so he can imagine that they’re not just lying in bed together, but lying in bed, together; and later, when Missa truly wakes, he will sit on his side of the bed and look at Philza’s face soft with sleep and think about how lucky he is that he still has a side-of-the-bed to begin with.
Missa doesn’t mean to drift off. When it starts to happen, he’s hopelessly torn between shaking himself awake and thus giving himself away, or remaining how he is, silently fending off the inevitable. In the end, Missa clings to that scritch-scratch sound of Philza’s pencil on the paper for as long as he can before the fog at last pulls him under.
Eventually, he dreams. In fact, he dreams of the calloused fingers he dreams of every night, hands like his own, an artist of Death, cradling and shading the contours of his face—a softness dashing charcoal across his jaw, and over his cheekbones, and perhaps on his lips, too, if he’s lucky. Defining every edge of him.
~*~
A deep sigh. Phil stops sketching as Missa shifts in his sleep. He tilts his head up so that the tip of his nose is now just nearly brushing against Phil’s hip. The motion disturbs the wild splay of his dark hair, revealing more of his face: eyelashes, cheeks, warmth. Tender blush of something Stygian and otherworldly. New.
Phil’s lips tilt upwards. He turns to a fresh page, and he starts again.
#qsmp#pissa#qsmpshipping#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#i hesitate to put main character tags bc it's shipping content but i think we're all p much okay with that?? we chill??? we chill thumbsup#my fics#ficlet#anyway would you believe me if i told you this took me a week to write. hhourgh.#i'll prolly make small edits as time goes by if i dont scrap this version entirely.#i really like it rn but we'll see how i feel abt it in like a couple hours or a day. the sheer number of times ive rewritten this hhhhh.#this little character/relationship study is primarily for me to try to work them out in my head.#so if this doesnt quite hit the exact vibe you know why.#im still getting acquainted w missa's character but i gotta start somewhere ya know#i didnt actually get to explore missa's feelings of inferiority as much as i wanted to but thats bc i found trying to tackle that As Well-#-as everything else saddled the fic/setting w too many Things and made it cumbersome and muddied the story being told.#so another time perhaps.#anyway i adore them. beloveds.
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[id in alt]
marivam my new child marivam!!!!! adopt i got from @dieselpvnk i am VERY excited about them!! thinking that they're a kind of witch character who brews magical potions, not 100% sure yet though
#these are unfinished and im figuring out how to draw them rn i just got too impatient to wait to talk about them so 4am post it is#if i DO go down the potion maker route i'll probably have to edit some of my other characters who i already have as alchemists#but like ive never done anything with that anyway and it just feels more natural with marivam.#with those other guys i just. kind of slapped that occupation on loll#anyway for backstory (which again not super sure yet) they live with a guardian named gralyth (a wolf person) in the middle of the woods#they were probably childhood friends w bevalon but marivam + gralyth moved away while they were still pretty young#thinking that marivam has. hmm. ominous scary vibes and a standoffish personality but theyre ultimately a good person#maekrenia#oc: marivam#ive already misspelled their name as miravam once and i have a feeling thats gonna happen a lot :skull:#ok i need to go to sleep now bye
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its @wh0rehound 's birthday and since he is the gaymer to my mafia slut obvs i had to draw our boys 🍫💕🎮 everyone say hbd sam!!! 😤🎉🎂
#death note#mellodramattic#mihael keehl#mello#mail jeevas#matt death note#my art#i was listening to the foundations and marvin gaye and four tops and such... frankie valli. stevie wonder. sam cooke etc. u get the vibe#matt and mello can have little a OOC cute bullshit. as a treat#one thing abt me. i love to split one set of pjs between a ship... its a top tier trope#another thing abt me. i love 2 draw ppl who love each other dancing 2gether#i fuckin SPED thru this btw (by my standards at least lol) this was like 10.5hrs of work and 9 of those were consecutive hsdfghjkl#which. me calling 10 hrs fast is not an exaggeration... thats so quick to finish for me. & it was a STRUGGLE to make myself call this done#but im CALLING IT. its super cute and it doesnt have to be perfect... the crunchy coloring is charming and adds 2 the aesth#i do wish id put more hearts but ITS DONE ITS FINISHED AND IM NOT GONNA MESS W IT ANY MORE. IT IS COMPLETE#drawing other ppls headcanons is always so fun... sams matt is so different from mine but so dear to me. scrawny little git#hes also very dear to my mello obviously <3#AND OUR RP IS ROUGH AND SAD RN SO I WANTED 2 DRAW SMTHNG EXTRA CUTE AND SWEET. AND I DID!!! THEYRE IN LOVE#sketch
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