#but thats not up to me. here is my contribution to these two. *crawls back into the cavern* | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ppersonna · 4 years ago

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out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults.

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow.

“What’s got you so perky this morning?”

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead.

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness.

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts.

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag.

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams.

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer.

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words.

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists.

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares.

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer.

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces.

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”.

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?”

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches.

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic.

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help.

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?”

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply.

“Yes, I would l-love that.”

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away.

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey!

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp.

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?”

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes.

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.”

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off.

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer

#kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon #bts smut #bts fics #namjoon smut #out of my league #knj #knj smut #rap monster smut #JOOOOOOOOOONie

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winged-deity · 3 years ago

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Hello I was wondering if you could do a part 3 to the heard it from uncle bad series with quackity, technoblade, eret, puffy, and tubbo please

So many people asked for it, so heres part 3!

Mcyt parents reacting to you cursing

"Heard it from uncle Bad" Pt. 3

Warnings: !cursing!, !mention of blood and violence!, !mention of nuclear weapons!, !implied gambling, drug use and alcoholism!

Quackity

You were usually left upstairs of the casino while your father worked downstairs, though this time you got bored of playing by yourself in his office.

You neatly put away your toys, just as your Papa had taught you, before you excitedly ran to the door and from there to the stairs.

The first two things you noticed when you arrived down at the casino were the bright lights and a ravenette screaming at your Papa.

Without much thought, you ran in between the two, screaming at the man "Leave my papa alone you fucker!"

This caused some shock in both the man, and your father, but before either of them could respond, the man was already sprinting out of the casino.

Your Father picked you up "Hey- Cariño, good job on telling that guy off, but who taught you that word? I have to personally thank them" your Papa gave out a soft laugh.

You grinned excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and told your father that you had heard your regular babysitter Badboyhalo say it while fighting with Uncle Skeppy.

"oh man thats hilarious, Cariño!" he had laughed while carrying you back to the office "now let's get you back upstairs, you're not safe here with all these drunkens"

Technoblade

Your father was a busy man, but that didnt stop him from adopting an orphan, so usually he kept you on his lap during syndicate meetings, just like today.

They were discussing an attack on the eggpire, and you felt left out and wanted to contribute to the conversation, so once they finalized the attack plan, you jumped onto the table from your fathers lap, and screamed "yeah let's get those fucks!"

Which caused you father to let out a comically loud "HEEH!?" which then caused Philza to burst out laughing at the sight of both Ranboo' and Niki's confused faces.

After your fathers near panic attack and alot of unnecessary yet confused questions, you told him that a couple of weeks back when Tommy took you to see the egg for the first time, both him and Badboyhalo had thrown around a few curses, mostly Tommy, but that beyond the point.

After hearing that, your father picked you up in his armpit while grabbing the Orphan obliterator, he then looked each of the syndicate members in the eye with an emotion that could only be described as bloodlust.

"we're eating some scrambled egg tonight warriors" even if you barely had any idea what was going on, the tone in your fathers voice made your skin crawl.

Eret

You were situated on your fathers lap while she taught you new vocabulary on their throne.

You and your guardian had made up a system, that each day you'd get to choose if you wanted to lesrn vocabulary, maths, or fencing.

Today was a calm day, so you had chosen vocabulary, but the task at hand had reminded you of something much more exciting.

You excitedly turned around in your mothers lap, putting the book down while looking at them "Pom-Pom!!" you screamed, full of energy.

"Yes my little monarch?" he smiled down at you, brushing your hair out of your face.

"i learned a new word while i was at Uncle Bad' and Uncle Skeppy's house!" you exclaimed proudly, hugging your parents chest.

"my my- what might that word be?" she chuckled quietly at your antics, while waiting patiently for a reply.

"Fuckhead!" you grinned, looking up at him with a proud glint in your eyes.

This caused you father to let out a suprised gasp "dear! You cant say that!" she shushed you quickly "thats a bad word alright? My little monarch cant say that.." she smiled apologetically.

The discussion ended in a small and lighthearted lecture for you, and a couple of royal guards sent in the direction of the Skephalo residence.

Captain Puffy

You had been clinging to your mothers side for the whole day, begging to be able to go see your big brother who was currently in prison, you were such a young duckling that you didnt understand why your brother was even locked up, beyond people saying "he was a bad person"

After what felt like the hundredth time your mother had firmly told you no, you finally entered tantrum mode and ended up saying something you shouldn't have.

"Bitch!" you screamed at her while stomping your foot, your mother finally turned her full attention to you with a loud gasp "language! You cant say that!" she was beyond furious, more so on whoever taught her duckling such a word, than being called a bitch. I mean come on now, Tommy calls her Captain Pussy on a daily basis.

You nervously stepped back, genuinely surprised from your mothers tone as she pulled you close "thats a bad-bad word!" she explained to you while running her fingers through your hair.

Upon finding out that one of her closest friends, Badboyhalo, was to blame for her child's language, she stormed right over, ignoring everything else going around, and gave Bad the biggest disappointment parent lecture.

Tubbo

You were playing with your brother Michael in your shared bedroom, when Michaels sword had accidentally given you a rather small yet painful scratch on your arm which caused you to let out a loud shriek "Shit!"

Not long after you heard a "don't teach your brother curse words y/n!" from downstairs, the voice belonging to one of your fathers, Tubbo.

"he hurt me!" you screamed back at your dad, sitting on the floor with an annoyed pout while Michael tried his best to comfort you in piglin.

Soon enough your Dad was by your side with a bandaid while you hissed in pain from the stinging, he then turned to you "so who did you hear that from?" he tilted his head with genuine curiosity, as you told him of a similar incident where it was Badboyhalo who let out the curse, which caused your Dad to let out a dramatic "Badboyhalo?!" which then caused all three of you to laugh.

Needless to say, even if Dadbo seems lighthearted and chill, badboyhalo did get a visit from a calmly pissed Tubbo and a whole ass nuke.

Really hope you enjoyed this one!

Here's the third part everyones been waiting for! I'd like to say that 1. I dont speak spanish so dont come after me for the translations. 2. I got really lazy closer to the end, so sorry about that.

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botanicallyinclinednerd · 4 years ago

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Moments that highlight the dynamic between Gwaine and Arthur:

3x04: Arthur and Gwaine’s first interaction is Gwaine strolling up commenting on the pickle Arthur and Merlin have found themselves in and Arthur replying "You should get out of here while you have the chance," and Gwaine saying "you're probably right," taking a drink, and then decking a guy. What a first impression.

3x04: Gwaine charging the guy who pulled a knife on Arthur defenseless on the floor. Arthur is concerned for Gwaine. Gwaine is put on Arthur's horse for transport back to Camelot (he's like a sack of potatoes its very funny)

3x04: Arthur is grateful to Gwaine for saving his life and tells Gaius "he's to be given anything he needs"

3x04: As soon as he learns that the man who's life he saved was Prince Arthur, Gwaine’s reaction is an eye roll and "If I'd known who he was, I probably wouldn't have." And he is le doubtful that Arthur is a good man.

3x04: Arthur asks Merlin how Gwaine is

3x04: Arthur pissed about the bar tab that Gwaine amassed. The 4 dozen pickled eggs in particular piss him off.

3x04: "Arthur is a thoroughbred little braggat" Gwaine is outraged Arthur is making them clean the shoes for the entire army.

3x04: Arthur vouching for Gwaine with Uther "I can vouch that he has a noble heart" and asks he be shown clemency. Arthur insists that Gwaine is a good man.

3x04: Gwaine tells Merlin to look after Arthur who is in danger. Gwaine says about Arthur, "Maybe that one's worth dying for, eh?" :(

3x04: Gwaine saving Arthur’s life by entering the melee and slaying the imposter knights

3x04: Arthur laughing when he sees that Gwaine was the knight who saved him. "I should have known. No one fights like you do."

3x04: Arthur is disappointed over Uther being stubborn over banishing Gwaine from Camelot. Gwaine sees this and assures him he doesn't need to explain himself.

3x04: Gwaine agrees that Arthur is a noble man and is greatful he stood up for Gwaine.

3x08: Gwaine rolling his eyes at Arthur when they meet up

3x08: After Arthur pulls out the stone and a bunch of bugs spill out, Gwaine slaps Arthur on the back and tells him "Well go on then. Don't be such a princess" (the first use of princess!) And he reminds Arthur that is is his quest. Arthur makes eye contact with Gwaine and does that thing with his glove

3x08: Gwaine comments that maybe he will be able to go back to Camelot one day "When Camelot gets itself a half decent king" and Arthur is amused but it an exasperated begrudging way. "Be careful. He is my father."

3x08: As he rides away, Arthur tells Gwaine he will remember what he did and he gives a little wave

3x12: When Gwaine recognizes Arthur and Merlin in the pit he approaches and puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur reacts with hostility until he recognizes Gwaine and asks what he's doing there. Arthur seems distantly amused and Gwaines answer "nothings changed there then" and Gwaine lightly smacks Arthur on the chest and Arthur doesnt seem upset by this.

3x12: the reveal of Gwaine as the champion is a golden moment

3x12: Arthur and Gwaine fighting. "Take it easy will you?" "Its gotta look real, hasn't it?" Gwaines face here is hilarious and it gets me every time. Arthur gets annoyed and starts righting more earnestly. And then they roll around on the ground sticking hands in each other's faces. Neither dumb ass had a plan.

3x12: as they are crawling away from the fire, there is a frame where Arthur has a hand on Gwaines lower back/ ass. Does this contribute to their dynamic? Probably not really, but I figured someone would appreciate this moment

3x12: Arthur being evasive on why they were there and Gwaine pushing to find out why

3x12: Gwaine goads Arthur about how he should tell Gwaine where the thing they are looking for is since Arthur couldn't kill him if he wanted to. Arthur raises to the challenge, pushing into him with his arm a bit as they walk "yeah? Try me" and Gwaine is amused. "I already did. Back in the arena. I had you bang to rights did I not?" (Gwaine you were on the bottom of that floor fight, just saying) and the two of them continue to bicker back and forth in the manner of two kids going "did not" "did so!" Over and over until Merlin cuts them off.

3x12: Gwaine sees Arthur struggling to open an door and pulls Arthur back by the arm "here let me" and kicks the door in.

3x13: Arthur is amused by Gwaines agreement to help him retake Camelot "I think we've no chance. But I wouldn't miss it for the world"

3x13: Arthur knights Gwaine (who lowkey looks like he has some internal conflict going on)

4x02: Arthur complaining about Gwaine’s constant chatter "You're quiet" "thats what happens after three days listening to Gwaine"

4x02: Arthur's reaction to Gwaine pissing off the bees

4x02: Gwaine arguing with Arthur about taking the cave tunnels

4x02: Arthur calling Gwaine a fool for killing the Wilddeoren as they hunt in packs

4x05: Gwaine along with the other knights going to Arthur to reiterate that they would gladly die for him.

4x06: Gwaine going with Arthur to look for Merlin and Arthur's reaction is to tell Gwen (who didn't want him to go alone) "you've condemned me to a day of mindless chatter"

4x06: Gwaine talking Arthurs ear off, talking up Merlin

4x12: Gwaine is surprised by Arthur agreeing to leave Camelot but he rolls with it.

5x01: Arthur is determined to find and rescue Gwaine and his other missing men. He will not leave them behind.

5x02: When Arthur and Merlin find Gwaine, Arthur comments "Trust you not to be doing any work" and Gwaine slaps Arthur on his armor saying its about time for a rescue.

5x02: Arthur supporting a still healing Gwaine as they run from Aithusa

5x05: Gwaine getting offended on Arthur's behalf by the disir's words and gets blasted back for his efforts.

5x06: Gwaine lightening the mood a bit when he also agrees to go to the dark tower saying he was built for that moment. Arthur smiles a bit

5x07: Gwaine promises Merlin he will stay close to Arthur and do what ever he had to to protect him

5x10: Arthur catching Gwaines helmet and instead of giving it back to Gwaine, who had his hand out and smiling politely, Arthur tosses it to Percival. Gwaine looks fed up.

5x13: Gwaine tells Morgana he would rather die than tell her where Arthur is.

#merlin #bbc merlin #sir gwaine #Gwaine #arthur pendragon #character dynamics #i was going to add a final bullet point but i decided to be nice #liv talks merlin

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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #235: Havoc on the Homefront!

September, 1983

Welcome to the Wizard’s Mansion of Mechanized Mayhem!

This cover has got it going on!

Where “it” is “multiple things.”

Still, I love covers that are just like ‘here’s a couple things happening today’ and this is a great version of that concept with the things being viewing screens that the Wizard is looking at.

He’s watching the Avengers in various peril channel.

This is a good cover!

So last time: uh, a couple things. Wasp called Vision and Scarlet Witch in as reservists when Annihilus tried to blow up the universe with an invisible dome. The two basically contributed nothing but Vision was thrown into a robotic coma.

Wanda and Vision in a tube moved into the mansion while he recovers and Wanda recapped her entire backstory including new retcon that Magneto is totally her dad.

Then she had a Dr. Strange crossover. Since it also involved Monica, two Avengers makes it notable enough to synopsize in brief. And its titled Assault on Avengers Mansion! so its like its baiting me.

Dr. Strange astral projects to bother Wanda when she’s trying to get some grief reading in. He wants to find the Darkhold and she’s the last known possessor or vice versa because thats when she was possessed by Cththon and had to be saved with a care bear stare from the Avengers. But Dr. Strange really wants the Darkhold to stop Dracula from getting it. Yes, Dracula.

Since the Darkhold is being stored in a vault at Avengers Mansion after Beast brought it back from Wundagore, Dracula’s cult attacks and manages to break into the Mansion. Dr. Strange, Wanda, and Captain Marvel all fight off Dracula’s cult and then Dr. Strange trolls Dracula by teleporting the Darkhold somewhere else.

Also, Avengers Mansion got trashed in a break-in in Fantastic Four #257. Dammit. Whats with all the intertextuality in this era?

So that story there is: mostly a lot of Galactus eating the Skrull homeworld and fallout from aforementioned Annihilus story. Only the last two pages are relevant.

Mr. Fantastic shows up to Avengers Mansion to check on Vision, Wanda goes to make him tea, and then he’s teleported to a space trial leaving a giant melted hole in the mansion.

Honestly, I don’t know why FF got asterisked instead of the Dr. Strange issue. They both messed up the mansion but the Dracula cult was more of a break-in than someone leaving a giant hole in the wall. Although that’s more mysterious.

Anyway, with two different ‘read this also’s between issues that messed up the mansion, no wonder the opening splash has to be devoted to a repair crew patching things up.

Wasp is putting her size-shifting to good use to literally micro-manage. Zipping around at tiny size telling everyone how to do their job.

Captain America who is also supervising and impressing people with how buff he is gets annoyed and goes to tell her to stop but stops himself.

Captain America: No... No. She’s in charge here, and I have to let her handle things as best she can. Her methods do seem to bring results... They’re just not my methods, that’s all. Yeah...

And then he sulks off, ignoring Wasp when she asks what he’s muttering to himself.

Hm. The new leader honeymoon period is off, it seems. Cap was Wasp’s biggest supporter as chairperson and now he’s grumbling and second-guessing.

Dang.

I hope this isn’t snapback to Wasp not being leader because she’s flighty and silly. I hope we’re not just going to do that.

Cap wanders over to where Vision-inna-tube and Wanda are. Wanda is still glued to Vision’s side. And either Wanda can read minds or Cap says something between panels because we have Cap wondering in a thought bubble whether if Vision has shown any signs of improvement and then Wanda answering that he hasn’t shown improvement or worsened.

Cap(tain) America: “Well, don’t let yourself get too worried, Wanda. That husband of yours has been through worse scrapes than this. He’ll pull through!”

Scarlet Witch: “When you say it, Cap, I can really believe it!”

Inspirational Cap! Charisma rolls: Very.

Still, Wanda is sad because Vision is lying in a tube helpless and she can’t even touch him.

Cap wanders off again, without even saying goodbye (rude) while musing how much it sucks.

Cap: Blast it! Those kids were just starting to make a life for themselves, and this had to happen! Why was it that of all the Avengers who went up against the threat of Annihilus -- it had to be a couple of reservists who suffered most?

And then starts musing how weird it is that Scarlet Witch and Vision as reservists since they were active Avengers for so long!

Remember, Wanda joined the Avengers not very long after Cap did! Only a couple months in-universe! She was one of his Kooky Quartet!

Cap: At times I wondered if the Avengers would survive -- but somehow, through all the tumult and changes, the team not only survived -- it grew stronger! I pray it always will... with the menaces we so often face, we can’t afford to weaken. We’ve gone through so many changes lately. We’ve picked up two fine new Avengers in Captain Marvel and the She-Hulk, but we’ve lost Hank Pym... and now we’ve lost Iron Man, too. Even Thor has taken himself off the active roster to pursue a personal mission. I hope he won’t be gone too long.

Cap is clearly in some sort of dour Mood.

A dour and monologue-y mood.

And what’s Thor up to leaving the team roster OFF PANEL?

(Sigh)

Well, since the asterisk is telling me to see Thor #334... oh geez, Don Blake is under suspicion of killing Jane Foster. Thor, and Lady Sif take Keith Kincaid (the non-Thor love interest of Jane) on a trip to get the Runestaff (long story) and restore Jane Foster (long story).

Annoyingly, the Thor issue does show him telling the Avengers he’s going to be gone for a while and to take him off the active roster. And borrowing a Quinjet.

I think that it would have been nice to see at least a panel of that. Or something. I don’t want the book bloated with ‘see alsos’ but I’m confused why it put the most emphasis on the FF one when it was literally two pages where Reed manages to ruin the wall while getting kidnapped.

Whatever.

Anyyyyway.

Even though he thinks the new Avengers are good, Cap worries about having both Thor and Iron Man off the team.

Especially Iron Man.

He was their science/technical guy. And on the current team, the only one with any sort of science expertise is new trainee Starfox.

Who is busy making out and not being on time for his daily training session.

At least he remembers that he has a prior obligation.

And he’s only two minutes late. Or to put it another way, he’s a whole two minutes late. And Cap(tain America) is a notable stickler for punctuality.

Cap: “Punctuality may be an anachronism in this day and age -- and, for all I know, it may be unheard of on the planet Titan -- but in my day, it was something that was expected of people!”

Wow, Cap really pulled a ‘in my day.’

Frankly, I’m surprised he doesn’t pull that more often.

Starfox does seem contrite and apologizes for putting pleasure before business which sends Cap into an introspection about why he’s really being so harsh on Starfox.

Protip: It’s Tony. It’s almost always Tony.

Cap: Pleasure versus duty, that’s what it always comes down to. It was Tony Stark’s ‘pleasure’ which led him to giving up his Iron Man identity... leaving the Avengers. Some ‘pleasure’! He’s crawled so far into the bottle, he may never get back out. And there’s nothing I can do to pull him out... Nothing any of us can do, unless he lets us. That’s what’s really bothering me... isn’t it?

And he accepts the apology with a “just don’t let it happen again.”

You sound so old sometimes, Cap.

Meanwhile, She-Hulk is off on a jog through New York, listening to some Beach Boys’ California Girls.

An overeager driver scoots forward and cuts her off at the crosswalk and (I assume) in frustration, she punches the hood of the car.

And given it’s She-Hulk, she kinda punches a hole IN the hood. And probably engine.

The guy being either an idiot or incredibly unperceptive runs after She-Hulk to grab her arm and yell at her.

She does not care for that at all.

Like, why would you? She’s seven feet tall and green and just punched a hole in the hood of your car.

Luckily for the guy’s skeletal integrity, Spider-Man pops out of nowhere to be Friendly Neighborhood and mediate this conflict.

They both air their grievances.

She-Hulk: “This creep grabbed me!”

Creep: “Hey! She... she crunched the front of my car!”

She-Hulk: “That was you who cut me off in the crosswalk? You’re lucky I didn’t rip out your axle!”

Spider-Man: “Now, now! Let’s keep this friendly! Sounds like you’re in the wrong, chum! The lady had the light!”

Creep: “Lady?!? She’s no --!”

Spider-Man: “I wouldn’t say that if I were you! That’s the She-Hulk, dummy! Remember what she did to your car? Well, just imagine what she could do to you!”

Creep: “Oh yeah.”

And with the power of Spider-Man’s bomb-ass mediation, the guy realizes that he was in the wrong, apologizes, and leaves in a hurry.

(Her skeptical glare cracks me up for some reason)

Moral of the story: Don’t be a jerk. Stay behind the line when the little man is lit up.

After the guy takes off, She-Hulk praises(?) Spider-Man’s amazing mediation skills by saying he should have been a lawyer. And then they catch up.

She-Hulk is still having trouble adjusting to the East Coast lifestyle and lack of beaches so Spider-Man suggests checking out the Jersey Shore.

She-Hulk: “My big problem right now is housing. Avengers Mansion is nice, but I want a place of my own.”

Spider-Man: “It’s tough -- rents are pretty steep.”

She-Hulk: “The real trouble is finding a place I like. With the thousand a week I get as an Avenger, rent’s no big deal.”

Spider-Man: “I guess not, if you’re making a... a thousand A WEEK?!? I passed up a chance to become an Avengers, and they make $1000 a week?!? Oh, NO!!”

Ha ha, that ol’ Parker luck.

Maybe Thor should have mentioned the money when he tried to recruit Spidey.

Meanwhile, at a federal penitentiary in Vermont, a scene change.

Bentley Wittman, aka the Wizard, aka the Wingless Wizard, aka the adult man who thought the best use of his time was bullying a teenager, is being questioned about Plantman Sam Smithers’ escape from jail.

The Wizard claims that he knows nothing about Plantman’s escape and that he barely knows the guy anyway. They were airlifted from Ryker’s in the same helicopter and that’s it.

But a convenient x-ray tells a different story.

And that story is that “the Wizard” doesn’t have any skeleton bones.

... Were we really at the point in 1983 where we didn’t know about the dangers of overexposure to x-rays? They just causally scan both “the Wizard” and the guy questioning him?

Anyway, the ruse being rumbled, the fake Wizard rips the bars out of a window and jumps out to his death.

Or it would be death if he wasn’t just animate wood wearing a fake skin suit.

Kinda gross if you think about it.

Anyway, where is the real the Wizard?

Obviously, he escaped jail a while back. Not only is he a sinister criminal mastermind who has sinister masterminding to mastermind but also he was tired of the prison hair code. Because dammit, he wants to rock the goatee!

(Literally a comment he makes, calling the prison barbers butchers)

The Real Wizard gets a BLIP-BLIP-BLIP priority alert that informs him that the plant-him has been discovered which means that the authorities will be looking for him now.

Wizard: Now every law officer in the nation will be looking for me. Well, let them! They’ll not find me, unless they look here! And if they do look here, they’ll have a fight on their hands! The Wizard will not bolt and run like some common criminal! My home is my fortress! They’ll never get me out of it! Never!

Anyway, within an hour of the discovery of Plant-Wizard, a disgruntled agent of the national security council named Mr. Sirkorski receives a briefing.

Usually, this problem would be Gyrich’s problem but he’s busy somewhere else, probably making mutants miserable if I had to guess.

-checking- Yup, he’s over in the X-books, being involved in Project: Wideawake, the project that will later accidentally shoot Storm with a demutantifying gun that will take away her powers, leading her to kick Cyclop’s ass, leading to him leaving the team and feeling sad about being happily married.

Wow, Gyrich, you’re the worst.

Anyway, since the Wizard is tied to the presidential hostage crisis via Plantman, that makes it Serious Business.

Hence, Mr. Sikorski’s serious business.

And he hates it.

He hates this bonkers superhero universe. He just wants to live in a spy thriller universe without all this specific nonsense.

Mr. Sikorski: “Oh, great! Plant-Men... criminal scientists... prison breaks! Don’t they think I have enough to do, just keeping track of what the Russians are up to?”

Also Mr. Sikorksi, on the following page: “And it’s up to me to call in the appropriate parties. I feel a little weird doing this! It’s hard enough for me to believe there are such things as Avengers! I certainly never thought I’d be calling them for help!”

This guy is great. I hope he becomes a recurring and just continues to be low-key pissed about what genre he lives in.

SCENE CHANGE TO AVENGERS MANSION’s actually looking cooler than ever meeting room.

The table looks enormous and theres a giant viewscreen that they can display stuff on.

Only misstep in my opinion is that the seats don’t have personalized icons on the back.

On the big viewscreen map, Cap(tain America) is displaying for Captain Marvel known properties and hideouts that the Wizard has used in the past.

And then big boss the Wasp comes in with She-Hulk to start the meeting.

Since the government has requested that the Avengers help search for the Wizard, Captain Marvel suggests that she could zoom around and check off the whole list in no time flat by using her lightspeed.

Cap(tain America): “You probably could, C.M. -- that’s up to Jan to decide, of course. It would save us some time. After all, the Wizard could be in any of these places... or none of them!”

Wasp: “You think so? If I’d escaped from prison, I’d want to go home. But that’s just me, I suppose.”

Cool contribution, Jan.

I don’t mean to mock, its just she makes a goofy face.

(Hey, I wonder if her new costume was inspired by the FF’s negative zone’d ones. It’s kinda got a similar palette and rough design)

Anyway, Scarlet Witch asks whether she can be excused from superheroing for the day to keep an eye on the Vision.

Wasp: “Why, Wanda! I should say not! You agreed to fill in for Thor while he’s off in space, and I intend to hold you to that! I’m the chairwoman, and I’ll decide who goes where!”

In fact, since somebody does need to watch the Vision, Wasp chooses the most reasonable candidate.

Captain Marvel!

Who needs her to get the task done in five seconds! She can watch the coma-robot.

You make interesting decisions, Jan!

The remaining Avengers will split up into squads.

Captain America will take Scarlet Witch and She-Hulk to check the hideouts on the east of the map. Wasp and Starfox will check out the western ones.

She-Hulk: “You and Starfox, huh? That’s rich... the All Flirt Squad!”

Pfft.

Cap(tain America) isn’t feeling the humor and tells She-Hulk to save her jokes for when they don’t have a job to do.

Minutes later, the Avengers land a Quinjet on the front drive of the Wizard’s Long Island estate. He has one of those.

Cap: “Come on Avengers -- let’s get this over with!”

Good attitude, Cap.

Wanda notes that the grounds look neatly tended considering that the estate has been empty for the past several years but She-Hulk thinks a gardener was probably kept on retainer.

The Wizard was stupid rich.

When they get inside, Cap changes his tune. The place looks too tidy and ready for occupancy to be empty so maybe the Wizard is here.

So he pulls a ‘lets split up gang’ and splits up gang with each Avenger taking a wing.

Cap: “Oh, and She-Hulk, try not to break anything if you can help it. This is private property!”

Priorities!

Granted, She-Hulk is known to break things. Why just today she broke some dude’s car.

The Wizard is watching all of this on his home security system and springs individual traps on the individual Avengers.

She-Hulk finds herself in a series of identical small non-descript rooms, each more identical than the last.

So identical that its the same room, looping.

Wizard: “Through the circuity in that doorway, I’ve activated a dimensional matrix which will keep your walking back and forth ad infinitum through the same room!”

Except without seeing herself leaving which you’d think she’d be able to see.

It’s a smart way to trap a Hulk, provided they don’t run out of patience or get frustrated and smash something.

Meanwhile, Cap gets locked in a chamber where an anti-gravity field has been activated, leaving him flailing through the air.

Oh, and dozens of high-intensity laser torches pop out of the walls and start trying to carve up Cap.

Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch’s individualized trap is the most individualized of all.

Because She-Hulk’s and Cap’s could be used on any number of people really. But Wanda’s feels like it was created to counter Wanda. Pretty on the ball from the Wizard considering he doesn’t often fight the Witch.

When Wanda enters the room she suddenly starts spinning out of control, flies across the room, and lands in a chair.

Wizard: “Marvelous! I’ve ensnared the Scarlet Witch within something against which her astounding hex powers are useless. My field effect devices have generated a pocket of non-causality within that test chamber! Within the area, all actions have an equal chance of occurrence. Therein, all probabilities are skewed. She won’t be able to stand, much less cast a hex!”

Wow! That’s some high octane comic book nonsense science!

The point being that every time Wanda tries to do something, something random happens instead because its all equally likely. She tried to walk into a room and ended up standing on the roof. She tried to back out of the room, she started spinning. She tried to stop spinning and she flew into a chair.

Sure.

With the Avengers all trapped, the Wizard turns his attention to deciding how to dispose of them.

Except, as cleverly foreshadowed by my snide comments, She-Hulk’s trap is only as good as Jen’s patience.

Which is good forrrrrrr. Two dozens loops.

At that point, she’s sure some bullshit is up and scratches the wall with her nails to leave a tangible mark. When she sees the same mark in the ‘next room’ her suspicion is confirmed.

And now that she knows someone is jerking her around, she decides to ignore Cap’s suggestion to not break private property by breaking private property and rips the doorframe (and the dimensional matrix) to crap.

There’s a backup trap that drops slabs of six-inch omnium steel around her but yeah she’s a hulk and she’s not playing considerate anymore. She starts KRUNGing the walls with her fists.

Meanwhile, Cap uses physics to get out of his jam. He throws his mighty shield to break some lasers so action/reaction will propel him backwards and he can jump off the wall, grab his shield back, and uses one of the broken-off lasers against the others.

Also, meanwhile, Scarlet Witch tries to figure out her own, incredibly specific trap.

Scarlet Witch: This is like a nightmare! Whatever I try to do, something else happens. Just in making the attempt to call on my hex power, I wound up falling flat on my face! I can’t even... wiggle my fingers? I... I can! Oh, but only very close to the floor! Whatever is causing my actions to go awry must be weaker near the room’s outer surfaces! Then there’s HOPE -- !”

Wizard must have gone cheap on the pocket of non-causality projector for that room if it’s not completely covering the area. Sure, the area it doesn’t cover is relatively small but now what’s about to happen is going to happen.

So Wanda gets as low as she can go to the floor and uses her probability-altering powers.

This causes the non-causality field to reverse because why wouldn’t it? And causes feedback through the circuitry which causes the master control to shock the Wizard.

It also causes every logic circuit in the master control to overload and the whole dang thing explodes, Wizard barely flying out of the control room in time.

Right in She-Hulk’s path.

She’s not happy. He’s not going to like her not being happy.

She-Hulk: “After what I’ve been through, it’s gonna be a real pleasure to pound that helmet down around your ankles!”

Wizard nopes right out of her way and decides to abandon fortress.

Then Scarlet Witch probability alters his battlesuit flight controls to malfunction to halt his escape and make him crash to the-

...

I’m pretty sure his neck is broken now.

I mean, it’s apparently not because he keeps talking and moving and living but he look at that panel. Guy should be dead as movie Zod.

Y’know, if the Avengers are going to kill the Wizard, the FF should really get them back and kill one of their villains. I suggest Grim Reaper.

Anyway, surrounded by Avengers, Wizard pulls his trump card.

Wizard: “Your confidence is ill-founded, Captain America. There is one resource I can yet draw upon. There is a thermonuclear devise beneath my house -- powerful enough to destroy half of Long Island and make the remainder very unpleasant for a very long time. Much as I hate to see this place destroyed, I would press the button, so to speak.”

“You being such renowned public heroes, would hate that even more. But unless you allow me to go unharmed, I shall active the timing sequence of the bomb’s detonator.”

And Cap is like ‘do you mean this detonator’ and pulls out one he prepared earlier.

HAH!

You know, ironically, if he had just hidden in a safe room or on the roof or something, the Avengers probably would have came and went without noticing him. Springing traps on them really backfired in oh so many ways.

The threesome return to the mansion, presumably after turning Wizard over to the authorities, and Wasp comments that it sounds like they had a bit of excitement (Starfox grumbling to himself more excitement than he had searching the Bronx with the Wasp ha ha).

Cap(tain America): “You’ll be glad to know, Wasp, that your instincts were correct. The Wizard had indeed gone home. He gave us all a pretty good challenge... a welcome challenge, I dare say.”

Wasp: “Looks like I assigned the right people to search the right place, huh?”

Cap: “Yes, Ms. Chairwoman, I’d say you did!”

And elsenow, Wanda goes to the medical bay to check in on Vision and relieve Captain Marvel.

Scarlet Witch: “Can you hear me, darling? I hope you can. I was feeling awfully blue today... And I was given a duty that first seemed annoying, and later became dangerous. But I didn’t give up... I came back, and I won. I know that you can come back, too, darling! It’s just a matter of time... and hope.”

“It’s funny! I thought the Wasp was silly for sending me on that mission. But -- in a way --it was something I need. I think the others needed it, too!”

Captain Marvel: “Then that’s why she sent you, Wanda... because she knew what you needed! And that’s why she leads the Avengers!”

Secret friend mastermind Janet van Dyne sends you out for punch therapy when you need to punch something.

Reminds me of when Captain America picked a fight with Goliath Hank Pym to lift his spirits. Except with a lot less fighting her own friends and more pointing them in the right direction.

Something I love about this era of Avengers and with the big shift in Wasp after Hank’s court-martial is that while her character has changed she’s still recognizably and uniquely herself. She’s still a bit goofy. She’s still playful. And on top of that, she’s proven that she’s a good leader for the Avengers. It’s not mutually exclusive.

Cap (previously Wasp’s biggest supporter as leader) started this issue grumpy and even had his own ideas what the best tactic for searching for the Wizard would be, but by the end he agrees that Wasp made a good decision.

Despite playing the ditz for a long part of her career, Wasp isn’t dumb. And she’s got a good head for the interpersonal challenges of running a team too.

I’m reminded that during the much later Busiek run, when the Avengers need to expand and modernize to match up to expanding challenges, Captain America turns the leadership of the team over to the Wasp.

My point being, I was worried that there’d be snapback on Wasp being leader because she is flighty and silly. But instead, she can be flighty and silly and still a good leader.

I’m pleased with this take, Stern.

Follow @essential-avengers because there will probably be more Wasp being a good leader. Fingers crossed. Also, like and reblog this post maybe if you also like Wasp being a good leader.

#avengers #the Wizard #the Wasp #Captain America #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #Scarlet Witch #She Hulk #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the great feud between witches and wizards #wasp does a leadership #Cap be like hey don't break this supervillain's doom fortress its private property

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sup4l3e · 4 years ago

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I’m Crazy...

I’m insane...

I've lost the plot..

I'm hopeless..

I'm worthless..

I'm unloveable..

I'm pathetic..

I'm weird..

I'm strange..

I'm not okay...

I'm a psycho... (ok this one for me might be true... question it, go on try it! i dare you! ;0 lol)

BUT...

I AM!!!

Those are just some of the things my own mind tells me on a daily basis ... yes here it comes a blog about anxiety and depression... omg!! i know right the cliche of it all. like who hasnt written a blog about depression before ...

oh woe is me! am i right?

well... thats where you're wrong!

(before i start i want no sympathy im not writing this for the "aww's" and the "bless her" comments, i dont want sympathy or empathy ... this is simply because ive experienced and lived with depression for about 14 years and if i can help one person feel better about themselves by reading this or help someone realise that they are not alone then, well, i can rest easy tonight. If anything i want to empower people)

I lived for so many years in the dark, keeping all of this too myself and you know what it did? absolutely sweet FA apart from making me so much worse, it gave ammunition to those little voices, telling me all of the above, making them win!

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago that talking about my experiences and how im feeling would help.

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago how many other people around me were going through the EXACT same thing.

Two and a half years ago i was a completely different person, i was sheltered, i was in a very toxic relationship ... with myself. Most people would disagree, they'd say i was actually in a toxic relationship with my ex partner; but i cant blame him. Dont get me wrong he was toxic and looking back i was lucky to get out when i did, however i am also grateful too him, because he showed me exactly what i dont want in my life. and being fair to him i'd lived with my own toxicity in my mind for a good 10 years before him, so god forbid i'd give him the satisfaction of all that praise coz by god did i do a damned good number on myself without any of his help. ;)

In all honestly though, i do blame myself and my own mind, because 2 and a half years ago those little voices in my own head were the only thing i was listening to, they were winning. I wasnt listening to my family who were worried sick about me, who were practically begging me to tell them what was going on in my head, who i shut out, ignored and pushed away because i couldnt cope and you know what? they didnt deserve that at all. i live everyday regretting that i put them through that, So i now live everyday hoping to make them proud of me and live each and everyday with a promise. I do however live every day regretting that i didnt let them in earlier because if i had of i wouldnt have gone through the hell i did and i wouldnt have genuinely believed "this is what i deserve" "no-one else will love you" "no-one else wants you" "no-one cares"... i wouldnt have had too live a LIE.

The lie was people did love me, i just couldnt see it, people did care about me, i just wouldnt hear it, i needed their help, i just wouldnt speak it; because at that point in time my own mind was telling me that i didnt deserve any of that, and that nobody would ever want to do that for me. So i found sactuary in a toxic person who in the long run made me the strong person i am today because if it werent for him i'd never have the confidence in myself knowing what i overcame, and if it werent for him i wouldnt have seen my family and loved ones take charge and say "Leanne enough is enough" .. they gave me the metaphorical slap across the face i damned well needed and brought me back to reality, they categorically wouldnt allow that behaviour to carry on anymore and for that i will forever be grateful!

i made a promise to them that day that i would always tell them when i was getting low again and i made a promise to myself that day that i would keep them in the forefront of my mind in all of my decisions and i would also promise to try and help anyone else who was ever in the same position i was in.

depression is a funny old thing, everyone will experience some form of depression throughout their life, some people are genetically wired to experience it, some people will experience it from a young age, some dont experience it until very late on in life, some experience it from sad/happy/overwhelming life events, some unlucky souls just never find happiness. but no matter what EVERYONE will, at somepoint experience depression. in this blog im going to try and explain how i've learned to manage and cope with mine.

A bit of a backstory of my depression, it started around the age of 14-15, my depression. I dont know where it came from but it was right around the time of my GCSE's, college, boys, hormones, and being diagnosed with PCOS (for those of you who dont know what that is its Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) i was told at a young age of 14 that i had some sort of syndrome which "would only matter when i got older", and that i had some of the prettiest ovaries the sonographer and gyneacologist had ever seen... in hindsight that wasnt going to be the compliment i first thought it was or the dismissive statement they portrayed it and brushed it off as, at all! THAT diagnosis changed alot of my life, however i will get back to that.

As most teens do around here I started studying for my GCSE's at just 15 years old. i was so stressed out i started actually hearing a screaming voice in my head. i suffered panic attacks daily, sometimes a few attacks a day, and that is where my anxiety started and then, good old depression smashed me in the face. i found the more stressed i became, the more id hear that screaming inside my head which then lead me to thinking " holy fucking shitballs im hearing voices im actually insane" therefore leading to more anxiety and panic attacks. so much so i would come home exhausted at 4pm everyday crawl into my pyjamas and climb into bed ready to do it all again the following day. (dont get me wrong i sat most nights on msn using the latest flashing emojis for EACH and EVERY letter of the alphabet, to the point it looked more like hyroglyphics and obviously getting the colours just right with the codes to make your name and status show in a rainbow. but that was all done in pj's curled up in bed because i couldnt manage much else ... however, if my mam asks i was revising and doing my homework THE. WHOLE. TIME, not talking to my friends about how hot a certain crush's bum looked that day ha! am i right! :P xoxo)

This was all a massive thing for me to go through aswell, due to the fact my dad has mental health issues and lives with schizophrenia, so, naturally at this point, you can imagine i was picturing myself in padlocked straight jackets and padded cells, talking away to the screaming voice in my head. the funniest thing was this screaming voice wasnt saying anything nasty or bad it was just my thoughts screaming at me like everything was angry, so genuinely just everyday life thoughts but those screaming at me, like, imagine thinking "leanne dont forget to pack your PE kit" but in the voice of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket... it. was. TERRIFYING!

Anyways, so yes high school was a massive contributor, then i made the choice to leave college at 17 because i, like many others, didnt have the faintest clue what i wanted to be when i grew up (little did i know id live the life of peter pan and neverland would be my sesh house OIOI!!!) In leaving college i went into full time work, as a 'temp job' until i decided what i was going to do... unfortunately, 8 and a half years later i was still their prisoner! haha, Nah, dont get me wrong i met some absolutely amazing people in that job and i did love it but i knew at the end, if i didnt get out it was going to kill me off. I'd gotten to the point in that job that i cried myself to sleep knowing i had to go back in the next day. that place contributed alot to my depression not because it was a bad job but because id made a wrong decision and was stuck there. i had to leave.

my next massive contributor, and this is where i divulge some of my REAL heartbreaks. PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or what i like to call Poly fucking Cystic fucking Ovary fucking Syndrome or "lets just fuck shit up!" (no im not bitter about it at all lol) because of this shit, from the very young age of 14 (like puberty isnt hard enough - spots, hair in places you never wanted boobs growing overnight, bleeding once a month being the biggest inconvenience) i have also had to deal with weight issues, hersuitism, depression, anxiety, hormones that sent me bat shit crazy, pain, headaches, fatigue, you name it i had it. but the biggest heartbreak, being told that id always have difficulty concieving and carrying a child. Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows i have always wanted to be a mam. (and not the sesh mam who looks after all my drunken idiotic friends on a night out ... coz i swear thats all they ever think i do lol) I mean a real mam, to a real baby. and being told at a young age that i had the prettiest ovaries the gyneacologist had ever seen wasnt the compliment i thought it was because it turned out my ovaries were absolutely covered in cysts. And for years i have tried to have a baby but alas nothing ever happens. i've had a few close calls and ive miscarried, or at least i think i did, the test came back positive but then about 3 days after that pretty pink second line, i had the heaviest period i had ever had for around 4 hours and then my body went back to normal as if nothing happened. it broke my heart.

They say the human body is delicate and intricate and should be treated with respect... i say its a machine and its a absolute twat at times, and why should i respect what in essence has caused me heartbreak from a young age FOR NO FUCKING REASON. but hey ho... life. goes. on.

so... thats my life story or just a snippet of it. and some of the reasons why i have depression.

heres how i cope...

Well, for a long time.. and i mean a VERY LONG time i didnt. i hid it, i hid away from the world. i drank alot. i avoided family, i avoided my best friends, i avoided anything that would have brought me back to reality.

For a long time though, thats what i needed. now im not saying running away from your issues is easy and thats what you should do because its definitely not. im saying i NEEDED to do it at the time because i had no other way of coping and i NEEDED too to learn what not to do in the future. So masking, for me, was better than facing things 'alone'. In that time though, i made my issues alot worse and in fact caused more issues. it hurt my family, my friends and well hurt myself too, because in the long run i still had to sober up and i still had to deal with the same issues that got me down in the first place, i ended up in debt which contributed further too my issues. I did some very silly things which when i look back on them now i could have hurt so many people. i took an overdose of painkillers at one point around 2 and a half years ago. I felt so weak i saw no other outcome but instantly regretted doing it and made myself sick so that they came back up. i've told my mother and close friends about this previously but i think to really show how much i've learned and to reach out to anyone who is feeling the same way i did, to tell them IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER AND EASIER. i think saying that, shows my honesty throughout this post and allows for my experience and honesty really show that i want to help anyone going through the same thing.

Masking just makes the pain go away for a short period of time. learning from your pain and making it your strength is how you really overcome your own mind and depression.

It wasnt until i realised i was never alone, just how selfish and stupid id been all that time, because in masking, hiding and running away, id stupidly stopped myself from a faster recovery, less heartache, less pain and mental and physical torture. and really i stopped myself from helping others in the same position as me.

it wasnt until i learned to make my pain my strength that i truly found peace in who i am.

i still have days where those voices wont shut up, and they win and thats ok.

i still have days where i cannot climb out of bed and thats ok.

i still have days where i cry and the pain is too much and thats ok.

because i learned all of it really is ok! everyone has those same thoughts the same feelings the same illnesses. and i know that tomorrow WILL be a better day.

you just need to learn how to make it and own it as your own!

nothing has changed for me, all of those things are still true they're still real, my body hasnt miraculously healed itself, i still made poor life choices, it hasnt changed my hormonal imbalances but it has changed my mindset. it has changed my life. i made a choice to change my mindset and not let it beat me i decided to let people in. my family are my guardian angels because they never gave up on me, they dragged it out of me and frogmarched me to the doctors for the help i needed but some people dont have that support in their lives.

i'm lucky enough now, to have lived with this for long enough to know my signs, and when i know what i call, "going dark" is coming. basically when i start slipping and losing control of it again, i identify it and know how to manage it head on. unfortunately my body because of the stupid "intricate machine" i have and how broken it is (believe me the day i can swap out into an AI robot body imma sign straight up for that shit imma have me a body like Jennifer Anniston) my body however tends to go into a meltdown, i end up with more migraines, pain and infections. i also get extremely tired to the point i can sleep for a good 15-20 hours a day and thats not me being lazy (although if sleeping were an olympic sport i'd be the universal champion of it BED=LIFE) thats really me needing to reset. at that point in time when i know this is coming, thats when i reach out; i tell my friends and my family "I'm not okay" because i know now i can do that, i can talk to them.

i, personally, take medication daily, and for some reason we live in a society where people are actually shamed for doing so. i know if i dont take those 2 little tablets every day i will lose control and become a shell of who i really am. my seratonin levels drop and i practically become a robot barely functioning. so why should i be ashamed of those 2 little 'happy pills' which make me the person i want to be and know i truly am! no chemical imbalance is going to get the better of me! if i can have the help, im damned sure going to take it. along with the happy pills, aswell as alot of sleep, sunbeds, spending time with family and friends whenever i possibly can, i now have a job that i love, i also retrained as a beautician, and i love going to the gym and swimming whenever i can, ive found i can manage mine alot better. one thing that massively changed my life was limitting when i drink. i rarely go out drinking anymore and the reason is because i know deep down i will end up in a very low state afterwards. alcohol is a depressant and i wont allow that kind of thing to get me down. so now instead i choose to drink once a month if not less. i havent cut out the drink completely i just know if i want to get blinding drunk i need to be in a very happy place to do so. so i am careful where i drink, who i drink with and what i do whilst im drinking and unfortunately much to my neighbours disgust that tends to be in the house whilst singing along to whitney houston or disney songs at the top of my lungs, but thats how i know i'll not plummet the day after, and lets face it anyone whose heard me singing knows whitney had nothing on me ;)

In all seriousness though, the best advice i can give anyone living with depression is talk to someone, talk to your family, talk to your neighbour, talk to your friends, talk to your doctor, talk to your dog, your cat, the postman, the man on the bus who sits oddly close too you... just talk to anyone. tell them how you are feeling tell them your experiences. tell them what is getting to you. Find someone who you can trust, find a stranger. write it all down in a blog. video it. GET IT ALL OFF YOUR CHEST! SAY IT OUT LOUD! Just. Bloody. Talk! please!

everyones experiences with depression are different some people mask it, some people show it, some people (like me now) shout it from the fucking rooftops because im not afraid of my emotions anymore.

everyones ways of coping are different too, some people find the gym helps, some rely on medication, some rely on talking therapies... there are so many different ways of coping out there now... the only way that doesnt work is not admitting something is wrong and fighting your own mind without help, knowing something isnt right but still doing nothing about it. The only way of not coping is living a lie, you dont have to do this alone!

Basically do those things just for you, the ones you've always wanted to do! get that tattoo you wanted, quit your job, retrain, change your hair colour, buy that car, buy that dog, book that holiday.

do what makes YOU happy!

live for you and open up, people would rather know how you are feeling than see you struggle or ultimately not be here.

open up you never know someone might be feeling the exact same way you are and it could bring you closer.

but remember most importantly:

You ARE NOT Alone..

You ARE NOT Crazy..

You ARE NOT insane..

You HAVE NOT lost the plot..

You ARE NOT hopeless..

You ARE NOT worthless..

You ARE NOT unloveable..

You ARE NOT pathetic..

You ARE NOT weird..

You ARE NOT a psycho..

You ARE NOT strange..

And..

You ARE okay...

You ARE Beautiful..

You ARE Worth it..

YOU ARE Loved

i hope this helps...

thank you ☺

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rogerina-most-hysterical-queen · 6 years ago

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A Promise In The Stars Part 2

Authors Note: For every chapter of this series, there would be one song to go along with it by The Beatles

Song: She's A Woman

Word Count: 3,344

I look up at my bedroom ceiling from my bed, waiting for the sleep that has yet to come. Only a few cars have come along this street since a long time ago. My clock ticking, I turn on the light to look at the time. Quarter past 3! Shit, I need to sleep soon, no wonder why there were only a few cars passing my apartment block. Reflecting back on it, I’d sati seen about a week or two since I’ve gotten madly good rest; which was also when I had last seen Emma.

My sleep still not taking over, I crawl out of ben and quietly walk towards my bedroom door, trying not to wake up Brian. God knows, he needs his beauty sleep. I quietly open the door and tiptoe to the kitchen. But as I am heading there, I notice that the dim kitchen light is on, which could mean multiple things, but I’m not taking the chance.

I see an umbrella that was leaning near the front door and grab it. Walking up to the kitchen, I misplaced my step and there was a quiet creak. I instantly freeze, hoping the intruder did not hear it. When they still haven’t come out, I take a few silent strides to the side of the kitchen door, which was conveniently wide open. I barge into the kitchen and charge up to the intruder, who was standing n front of the fridge, door open. This wanker is stealing my food! I could tell it was a bloke through his build—and he was wearing an orange hoodie and jeans? Isn’t that a bit to eye-catching to wear if you’re going to rob someone in the middle of the night? I falter a bit but ket running up to him nonetheless. I reach him and hit the bloke many times until he glass on the floor.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

I raise the umbrella to hit him one more time but then suddenly, he takes off the hoodie and…FUCK! That’s Deacy!. I quickly drop the umbrella while John scrambles up, wiping his body down.

“Shit mate I’m so sorry! What are you doing are and how did you even get in?” He’s standing there rubbing his head, which was where I had hit him the most.

“No no, it’s fine. Fred and taken all the food and gave it to Mary and there wasn’t any left. As for how I got in? I used the spare key you have me.” But the key was for emergencies, not taking up someones stock of food.

“Deacy, that key was meant for emergencies!” I was trying really hard to fight a smile, but I had lost the battle.

“Well, I was just hungry. Which,” he points out, “is a HUGE emergency. At that moment, Brian walks in looking confused and slightly pissed.

“What the bloody hell is going on in here? Sounds like a marching band was in here!” Me and decay don’t answer him, but instead look at each other and fall into silent gut wrenching laughter.

Brian runs his hand through his mane of curls and yawns, “I’m going back to bed and if you pricks wake me up again, you will not see the light of day.” He points to me first, then Deacy and walks away, shitting the door behind him.

“I’m gonna head off. If Fred wakes up and I’m not there, he will send a search party.” I say goodbye to him and get back into bed, still awake. It wasn’t until light creeping up my room ddi sleep finally consume me.

***

“Shhh! You have to be quiet if you want this to work!” I hear hushed voiced and muffled giggles, but I’m too tired to do anything. I lay unmoving, sleep nearly back when coldness had entered the my warm bed an all over me. I tried jumping out of bed, but the sheet wouldn’t come off me, so instead, I had to slowly get out. Getting out of bed was a struggle, I couldn’t feel anything nor could I get the sheets to come off my body. Once I was finally out of bed though, I felt a bit better.

“Jesus, you should’ve seen your face, U look down at my now saturated bed, then to the three morons who were laughing their arses of on the other side of my bed.

Brian who had said that last statement, mimicked my expression in an exaggerated fashion.

“Why did you guys have to wake me up like that?” I peel off my pyjama pants, so I’m left with only my boxers. “You tossers are lucky I don’t wear white underwear!”

I shoo them out of my room so I could change into something warmer.

“Don’t go changing into new pyjamas! We’re going out!” Freddie hollers from outside my room.

I roll my eyes and start raiding my clout, looking for acceptable clothes to wear, which in fact, all my clothes are. Changing clothes, I look at my clock the is on the wall that faces the head of my bed. I see that it is only—8 in the morning!? I only had about three hours of sleep, then I look in the mirror and ugh! It really shows as well. I grab a pair of sunnies to hide the bags under my eyes.

When I enter the living room, all the boys are on the couches talking to one another. Once they’ve noticed that I was in their presence, they stop taking and look at me.

“Rog, dear. How do I put this lightly? Darling, you look like a sleep deprived hyena!” Fred says with sass, the boys following suit, laughing.

I just give him the bird and plop myself next to Deacy on the sofa. We exchanged a knowing look, silently laughing about last night. I turn my attention back on the other two, “Where are we going anyway at this time of morning?”

“Nowhere for right now. Just wanted to wake you up bright and early.”

“Fred, I don’t want to go anywhere. I need to be catching up on the sleep I’ve lost for the past week!” I whine, but he’s not having it.

“I already booked a table for r at that fancy cafe place for brunch, we’re meeting Mary there. And it is about that girl…Emma. Is it not?” I don’t sneer him and look down at my lap. Fancy Italian restaurant? Does he mean Trattoria Raffaele? I hope not, that shit is expensive.

“Ugh, fine. Just please make it fast? I’d probably fall asleep on the table if you don’t.”

“Oh trust me, dear. You wont.” He gives me a wink but nothing else.

***

We’re at Trattoria Raffaele, and I’m baffled. Me and the boys are seated at three small combined tables but Mary still hasn’t arrived yet. I lean into Freddie who was talking to John and whisper, “Where is Mary, Fred? We’ve been waiting for at least 30 minutes.”

“Hush Roger. I think you’re just going to have to find out yourself; and we’re just a tad early, thats all. They’ll be here soon.” He turns back to the conversation he had with Deacy about the interior decoration of the restaurant. Brian was also contributing to the conversation in snippets.

I look back to the entrance of the restaurant, tuning the guys out. I start looking for Mary. Soon enough however, Mary walks in bright and flushed. “Sorry we’re late Fred. We got stuck in traffic.” Mary kisses Fred and faces the rest of us, giving us each kisses on the cheek. “How are you guys?”

“Not a problem dear. You weren’t really late, we were just early.” As he was saying this, another girl was walking up to our table. She looks extremely familiar. I couldn’t really see her face though cause she had her hair covering her face, looking slightly towards the floor.

“Ahhh. This must be Emma!” She removes her hair from her face and she looks up. Holy fuck! That’s my Emma!

My breathing stops and I couldn’t move an inch, I was paralysed. I scan her body and she flushes at my action. I smirk to let her now I caught her expression and she turns even redder.

I don’t know why I was laying out the cocky and arrogant Roger. I couldn’t I just show her the real me? Fear, maybe.

“Hi.” I nod my head at her greeting and chatter starts up at the table again. Tuning out the conversation around me, I just look at Emma; who was conveniently sat across from me next to Mary.

“So Emma, how’ve you been? I lean back on my chair, crossing my arms. She looks at me and for a second I thought she wasn’t going to answer me.

“Look, I know what kind of guy you are. All cocky and full of it. Not. My. Type. Also, as you know, I have a boyfriend.” She looks away from me and joins the group conversation while I sit there, embarrassed beyond belief.

God, why do I have to be such an arse? Why cant I show her that I can be MORE than just an narcissistic scum bag? Brian’s words, not mine.

Tension rises at the table, but no one seems to feel it but me. Even when the waiter comes to take our orders, she wouldn’t look at me. And when we gave our menus back and our hands accidentally brushed each other? She quickly pulled it away as if I burned her.

But her face. Her face had turned a bright shade of red. Not her type, huh? Let’s see about that. I see that, I was sitting next to Fred, and Mary was sitting next to Emma, who was at the end of the table. “Mary, do you want to sit next to Freddie? I think that you guys are dating and all, I thought it wold be nice for you to sit next to each other.”

“Why of course Rog! Thank you for your consideration.” As I sit own with a smug smile next to Emma, she turns to face away from me. But soon she realises that she doesn’t have anyone to talk to but me since Mary and Freddie are talking about the apartments they were looking at.

I nudge her foot with mine but she doesn’t do anything ask I nudge harder, She gives me a look and slaps my arm. So I bring my right hand that is on the table and move it closer to hers. We touch pinkies and when she doesn’t move, I overlap my hand with hers, Out of the corner of my eye, I see a smile tugging at her lips, but she quickly catches herself and yanks her hand free of mine. I wait for a few minutes and decide to make a bold move. Placing my hand on her knee, I start drawing circles on her lower thigh. Emma starts to squirm and looks down to see what I’m doing. While I keep drawing on her knee, she steps on my toes really hard which in turn makes me yelp loud enough to grab everyones attention. The boys and Mary, as well as surrounding tables looked at me. To seem more natural, I stretch, which landed being my arm on the back of her chair; she leans and rests her chin on her hands which were on the table.

“Is everything ok over there?” Deacy from the other end of the table asks.

“Splenid.” He gives me a skeptical look but then talks to the water who appeared with our foods. While he was putting plates down, everyone went back to old conversations.

With my arm on her chair, I start playing with her chestnut locks. My fingers twirling her hair she leans back closing her eyes. I look over at Brian and Deacy and they’re giving me suggestive smirks. Rolling my eyes, I turn my head and look at Freddie and Mary.

“Hey, me and John are heading out, we want to get back and start working on some stuff.” They both and get up and walk over to Freddie, whispering something while I look at their half empty plates.

“Right! Same here. Mary dear, do you care to join us?”

Mary looks at Freddie with a confused expression but agrees anyway, “Yeah sure. Em-“

“Roger isn’t finished eating. I mean look at his untouched food! He can have Emma as his company—its already paid for anyway. Let us go then.” Brian said, but I can tell theres more to than just working on new stuff.

***

The boys and Mary have already left and I’m still here with Emma. Both our plates are empty and I try to make small talk. She wont talk back with me though. “Emma, love. Are you ok?”

She flinches at the word love and without looking at me, she gets up and runs out of the restaurant. “Emma! Emma wait!” I run after her as quickly as a person could in a room full of tables and people.

I get outside and notice that she’s nearly at the end of the street so I run as fast I could to catch up with her.

“Emma!” I finally catch up to her and double over, panting. “Seriously, you run so fuckin’ fast.” I get my breathing back to normal and stand up straight.

“I just had to get away from there. From that place and what you did to me. You, getting all touchy to me has to stop. I have a boyfriend for Christ’s sake!” She stands in front of me with her hands clenched, fuming.

I take a step further towards her, hands in my pockets, “you know love, everything that happened back at the restaurant was a joke. I only did those things because I wanted to aggravate you.” But in reality, I loved it too much.

While I’m saying this her face falls for a quick second before her walls were back up. It was so fast that it could have been just a figment of my imagination, something I wanted to see.

“Well good. I mean, not good that you wanted to annoy the shits out of me, but I’m glad that we’re on the same page.” She thrusts her hands out and I hesitantly take it; we shake on it? I don’t know what’s up with this girl, but I’m getting more intrigued by the second.

***

At the studio, all there was was chaos. We were making our first album and everyone is restless. It was nearing two in the morning and we’ve been here since 10 in the evening.

I’m glad I haven’t been able to sleep for over a week cause it pretty much trained me for tonight and the next week or two.

“Can we try that one more time Brian?” Freddie speaks through the mic which projects from the speakers.

“I’ve done the solo nearly 8 times! Isn’t there any you like?” Brian’s getting more cranky by the second, johns on the sofas behind me and Freddie’s randomly going through different riffs.

“Yes, but I just need a coupe more.” Brian starts up his solo again.

“Fred, we all know when you say a couple, you mean a dozen.” I nudge hum and he just laughs and goes back to listening to Brians solo.

“ok, we’ve got it. Thanks, Bri.” He just grumbles and stalks out of the booth.

“Hoe much longer do we need to be here for?” Deacy after being quiet for almost the whole night finally speaks.

“Until we get this song done, dear.” John just nods and goes back to playing his bass mindlessly.

I look at the time and its nearly half past 5 in the morning. “Shit Fred, we need to call it for today and get some sleep cause then we wont be able to function properly tonight.” The other two agree with me an we wait for Freddie’s decision.

“Oh Fine, lovies!” I’m getting exhausted anyway.” We scurry off and jump in our cars to get into our beds.

Me and Brian get into my car and we go off to our shared apartment with me driving. “Rog, is it ok if I shower first?” I must have given him a bewildered look because he continues talking, “You just take too long in the shower and I really don’t want to wait hours for you, I just want to get into bed.”

“Bri, I never said you couldn’t.” I keep driving until we reach the apartment, only the radio filling the slice Brian had created by dozing off.

We get to the apartment and Brian runs to the bathroom to take a shower. I go to our phone and dial a number I haven’t called in months. Tapping my for impatiently, I wait as the phone rings. As I went to hang up, she answered.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” I take deep breaths and start talking, “Mum, Hi!”

“Who’s this again?”

“It’s me Roger, your one and only son?” Dread starts to creep in. She isn’t that old, she’s only turned 53!

“Ahh, right. Sorry, I just haven’t heard your voice in a long time, I nearly forgot it and the telephone distorts the voices even more.” Guilt trades places with the dread. I haven’t called my mum in months, nearly a year and she forgot what I sounded like.

“I’m so sorry mum. I’ve just been so busy lately. I need advice on something though mum. It’s about a gi—“

“ROGER MEDDOW TAYLOR!” She screams into the phone so loudly, I have to move the receiver many inches from my er. “Did you finally et yourself a girl?”

“Hardly, It’s much more complicated than that.”

“Well explain, dear.”

“It’s just…You know about my reputation, right? How I’m able to always have my way with girls, blah blah blah blah blah.” I was met with silence. “Mum?”

“What did you do!” My mum’s voice was quiet but firm, as if she didn’t want to break anything.

“Nothing. Thats the thing. I’ve only met her twice and the first time, we really didn’t do much except talk; and the second time, I proved her and yeah. I just can’t stop thinking about her. One problem though, she has a boyfriend who treats her so badly but I don’t know why she wont leave him.” After finally being able to release all this to someone, I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

“Well, love. Theres nothing you can really do but wait it out—if you even want to wait, I’m afraid. Its up to Emma to decide whether or not she should leave this man.” I was about to answer her hen she spoke again, “Where are the boys? I can normally hear them screaming at each other.” My mum loves chasing subjects, especially if the topic s too much to handle for her.

“Brian’s in the shower while the other two are in their own flats asleep probably. We’ve just come back from the studio that even in at all night and were gonna go to bed once we’ve all freshened up a bit.” I yawn and my mum just chuckles at my tired antics.

“Just tell the boys I said help and goodnight. Don’t forget to call me once in a while, love.”

“Of course, mum. I promise. You take care of yourself, ok?” Night mummy.”

“Night pumpk—Also, one more thing. Keep this Emma girl safe.” And she hangs up.

“Mummy? How cute!” I turn around and see Brian trying to hold in a laugh.

“Shut up, you wanker. Im gonna take a shower now and go to bed.” I stifle a yawn and trudge to the bathroom.

I peak my head out the door, remembering something, “My mum said hello and goodnight.”

#queen band #rogerxemma #Brian May #John Deacon #roger taylor #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy #gwilym lee #joe mazzello #rami malek #fanfic #series #story

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rhetoricfemme · 7 years ago

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1, 2, 12, 19, and 25?? sorry if thats too many, haha (im just really curious!!)"

Hello! Dude, Anon. You have caught me in a rare moment of unadulterated leisure, where I currently feel obligated to do a little bit of nothing. Replying to these is better than a bubble bath. So thank you!

1. Favorite fic you wrote this year: All of them! This year I wrote things for Ouran, Harry Potter, and SNK. I managed to drop a lot of preconceived notions that I think were holding me back as a writer in general, and each thing I’ve written (published or not) has helped contribute to that.

I’m still kind of riding an emotional wave from the two JeanMarco oneshots I just did. Succulent was my gift for JMGE, and Hearth and Home just kind of happened on the fly.

2. Least favorite fic you wrote this year: No such thing. I’ve loved them all.

12. Favorite character to write about this year: Ooh… Hm. Probably Marco Bodt and Fred Weasley. It has been a real joy for me to write with Marco for the past year. I’ve been trying to write him for several years now, and I think I’ve finally learned how to do that. I’m not sure I can properly articulate outside of a fic how I perceive Marco, except to say that I’m a firm believer that he is not a ray of sunshine. And that while he does not enjoy being thought of this way, that he’s learned how to use it to his advantage. Generally speaking, I think Marco is nice to everybody, but Marco doesn’t think everyone is nice. Marco… Is kind of my hero.

Fred Weasley, mrgh… I have endless thoughts on him as an individual both in canon, and where he would have gone had he lived. I don’t think he was ever given enough credit for his intelligence and political activism. He was part of Lee Jordan’s underground radio broadcast during the war, largely in part because he wanted to give people who were terrified something to smile about. And he did this because he himself was rightfully terrified. The twins were among the youngest of the people involved with the meetings at Grimauld Place, and therefore privy to solid information that most other witches and wizards may have known in their guts, but could only speculate about.

Fred fought for what was right and good, and he formed unwavering allegiances which he stood in front of. You don’t need anything else to be respected and commendable, honestly. I hate it when he and George are shirked off as singularly being jokesters.

Before I get off of my high horse here, let me just say that I think Fred would have been excellent for Hermione. He had a darker sense of humor underyling it all, that I think was wrought out of a very discerning sense of intelligence and empathy. She shares that discerning sense of empathy, I think. Hermione is often characterized as cold, and in a way she was. I don’t mean that negatively, either, but more as if to say that Hermione had a sense of justice that could be harsh if she were abhorred enough by the crime. She stood there and watched Umbridge get carried of by centaurs, and if you don’t know anything about what that likely entailed, maybe look it up. Hermione absolutely would have known how the centaurs would’ve treated Umbridge. Having said that about her, Hermione is also fiercely principled and loyal. She knows what she stands for.

I think if they’d been allowed the time, she and Fred would have been amazing together.

19. Any new fics to start next year: When Scenic World is one, I’ve got a KyoKao project that I’d like to get out there. I’ve been working on it off and on for about a year. I really want to see it published.

25: A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read: I’m going to recommend you read whatever keeps the blood running warm in your veins. Read whatever you can’t help but crawl into bed with until you fall asleep reading about whatever your favorite character is doing for the umpteenth time.

#mine #thank you anon!#so much fun

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imaginesbyem · 8 years ago

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In ‘N Out - Stiles Stilinski

Requested: Stiles imagine where it's just pure fluff!!

Summary: Fancy dinner turns into In N’ Out, playful love between (Y/N) and Stiles.

I looked in the mirror staring at my reflection. I rotated my body trying to see how I looked from every angle. The shimmering gold dress clung to my top half and trailed down from my hips to the floor. The beading glimmered when it caught the light. I sighed and applied the bright red lipstick before beginning to make my way down the stairs.

“We’re booked fo- wow. Thats my girl!” Stiles called out loudly and began dancing stupidly, embarrassing the both of us in front of his dad, Noah. Mr. Stilinski chuckled as he jokingly slapped Stiles upside the back of his head. I smiled down at them and upon reaching the last few stairs Stiles had run over to help me down them.

“We ready then?” Noah asked and I nodded, smiling widely. We were on our way to a fancy restaurant to celebrate Stiles getting into George Washington University and a formal way for Noah to say goodbye to the two of us for a little while. While Stiles is studying to become the best FBI agent, I was accepted to work alongside some of the best animal doctors in the country for an apprenticeship. Stiles and I had discussed our futures and seeing that they both led us in the same direction (D.C), we were thrilled. We then started talking about how we would reunite with the pack and how each and every one of us can benefit and contribute something. It was as if we were living in some warped fantasy; blissfully ignorant.

“I’m sorry sir, we seem to have double booked. We are unable to offer you a table at this moment in time. My apologies. However, in light of this occurrence we are delighted to offer you free meals when you next join us. Again, my apologies.”

“Right, well when will your next table be available?” Noah asked sternly.

“We are currently booked out until... Wednesday 3 weeks from now.”

“3 weeks?!” Noah rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Okay, well thanks.” He said as we began to walk out of the restaurant. “I’m sorry guys.” He apologised once we had gotten into the car.

“No need to apologise, Mr. Stilinski! You know what sounds great right now though? In N’ Out” I smile, trying to lift the mood. We all laughed softly and Noah started the engine.

“In N’ Out it is.” As Stiles and I sat in the back next to one another he decided to rest his hand on my thigh to which I cringed because I knew he felt it.

“What’s that?” He asked softly before quickly looking at Noah and back down at my leg. He slowly lifted my dress up slightly and then looked at me with one eyebrow raised. He then holds up a small pocket knife that was connected to the inside of my thigh.

“Just incase.” I snatch it back and put my dress back down after reattaching the knife. He laughed in disbelief before deciding to hold my hand instead.

“Thank you so much Noah for an amazing night!” I smiled as we entered Stiles’ house.

“Thank you for suggesting In N’ Out. I haven’t had that in years!” He smiled. “The looks everyone were giving us were pretty funny too, I must say.” Noah chuckled as he thought back to us all cooped up in a booth eating burgers in our finest outfits. “Anyway, goodnight you two. I’ll see you after work tomorrow.” He smiled and we returned the goodnights.

“Lets get you out of that dress then.” Stiles winked as he turned to me.

“I just ate the biggest burger ever. Don’t overestimate how lucky you are.” I wink back and make my way to his room. I slide off my dress and I hear the door close behind me. I chuck on one of Stiles’ old shirts and take my bra off.

“God, you look so beautiful like that. In my clothes.” I smile and crawl towards him on the bed. I give him a quick kiss on the lips before jumping back up and going to take my make-up off. When I come back, I see Stiles snuggled up in the blankets, falling in and out of sleep. He grunts slightly and I crawl into the bed next to him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close to his chest so I can feel his heartbeat on my back. I kiss his hand lovingly and he kisses my neck. “I can’t wait until we start our life together. What kind of dog do you want?” He mumbles almost inaudible.

“As nice as that sounds, I think I’ve spent enough time around dogs recently.” I chuckle at the thought of our friends. “However, a pug sounds nice.”

“A pug we shall have then.” Stiles mumbles before settling deeper into the bed. “I don’t want to sleep”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to miss a seconds of you.” I giggle and roll my eyes.

“Well, to be honest after that feast I can’t think of anything better.” I say sarcastically. I feel a jab in my side and jump, waking up completely.

“Now do you still wanna sleep?” Stiles smirks as I look down at him.

“Now I want to hit you.” I jump atop of him and play fight. He tries to push me off but fails and laughs loudly in the process.

“Look at these dimples!” I say as I pinch his cheeks and he continues to laugh. I lean in and kiss him deeply. He returns the kiss with as much passion as a half-awake teenager could. I eventually roll back off him and wrap my arms around him. “You can be little spoon tonight.” I say cheekily as I rest my face in the crack of his neck, breathing heavily as I begin to drift off.

“I love you.” We mumble to one another before welcoming sleep with open arms and smiles on our faces.

Hello! It’s currently very late and I was going to write this tomorrow but I felt guilty for not writing for a few days so here it is! Thanks for your request, I’ll hopefully fix up the errors tomorrow :) xx

#tw #tw imagine #tw imagines #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #stiles #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinski imagines #dylan obrien #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan obrien imagines

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jewelofespeon-blog · 8 years ago

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Story beginnings!

Lady Monaco’s Estate

“Buttons what have you got? Come here boy!” Charlie whispered at the top of his lungs, effectively cancelling the whole logical reason to whisper. Examining Button’s beautiful blue fur, Charlie finds a small mirror attached to the Pitbull’s collar. “What the?” Charlie gasped. He wanted to say the word ‘fuck’ but he’s only 11, he’s not allowed until he’s a big man. Firing a glare to the left, launching another to the right, Charlie found no other people in sight. Could this mirror be for him? How on earth did Buttons get a mirror attached to his collar? Is Buttons an incredibly clever dog who has surpassed human intelligence and can tie a mirror to himself using his perfectly primed paws? Charlie felt like he should tell Lady Monaco. She always said never to disturb her when she’s playing Shania Twain, but this was an emergency. Or was this all in Charlie’s head? Is he just being an imaginative little boy trying to dream his way out of such an unfortunate situation? Taking the mirror from Buttons, Charlie sprinted to his room, huffing and puffing, slamming the door so hard behind him that they would be able to hear it all the way in Australia. At least that’s what Lady Monaco says. Touching the mirror slowly, examining every groove, every crevice, Charlie became upset. Why did Buttons only find a mirror? Silly dog. Why couldn’t he have found a remote control helicopter, or better yet a way out of this place for little Charlie. Touching the side of the mirror, Charlie’s head began pounding. He noticed a weird indent on the side and began rubbing it as if his whole life depended on feeling this weird bump. Following the bump’s round, Charlie noticed they formed letters, big letters, big bad letters. “ICE” Charlie sounded out. He really wasn’t good at this whole academia thing. “ICE” he said for a second time. Pausing for five seconds, he said the word again. And then a further two times. Quite an obsessive young boy he is. Charlie couldn’t ignore the fact his headache was so loud like a Tazmanian devil doing a 360 spin in his brain but failing miserably and breaking every bone then shrieking in agony. In pain, he touched his little birthmark like he used to do when he was a child and one sad tear dropped, touching the face of the mirror.

“HELLO!?” A girl’s voice boomed through.

Mr. Rhinestone’s Mansion

Another day with Casper. Sometimes Yuki liked when she was forced to stand on Mr Rhinestone’s podium in his grand hall for all his rich friends to admire. Only sometimes. In fact, when she thought about the severity of the her statement, she realised she absolutely categorically 100% did not like standing on Mr Rhinestone’s podium. “Yuki Suzuki” Casper regurgitated from his foul mouth. “Yes?” Yuki quietly responded. A well mannered young girl, Yuki didn’t really have anything left in her to argue with Casper. After four months, Yuki learnt that if she ever was to get out of this place, she’d have to keep Casper in her good books. Smiling as fake as the marriage between Geraldine and Mr Rhinestone, Yuki glided over to Casper, sitting on his €7,000 mattress. “I’m tired Yuki Suzuki” Casper moaned. He never liked being tired, his dad told him being tired means he’ll run out of money and he’ll have to start finding more and more Geraldine’s to take out his frustration on. Whatever that meant. “Why don’t you rest your head Casper?” his eyes lit up with diamonds, just like his fathers. “Would you fall asleep with me Yuki?!” He stared at her like a puppy at a master, and hesitantly, remembering her ulterior motive behind her friendship with Casper, Yuki put Casper to bed and lay next to him. Not with him, not hugging him, not giving him affection, just next to him. That’s enough she thought. After all she’s only eleven. As Caspers eyes began to somersault into the back of his head, Yuki’s eyes became fixated on one peculiar item hanging out of Casper’s toy chest. “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ” Casper boomed confirming he was asleep. Determined to find out what the item was, Yuki placed her pinky toe on the edge of the bed, edging her other toes to join the floor like a military mission. The stealthiest she ever had to be. Crawling on her hands and knees, she reached the treasure chest and examined what she thought was a missing part of Casper’s rocking horse. Spinning the item around, Yuki identified the item as a mirror. Smooth to touch apart from one indent on the side. The bump intrigued Yuki, how can something thats been made with such precision have such a horrible little indent on the side? Gliding her fingers over it she began to feel the beginnings of a word. “Great!” she thought, some identification for this weird thing. “I.C.E” in faded scripture was tattooed along the side. “What on earth could ICE be?” Yuki stuttered, interrupted by the boxing match going on inside her brain. She couldn’t ignore the headache much longer. One little tear escaped her eyes and parachuted down her face, trying to cling on to any part for some safety but failing miserably, tumbling onto the face of the mirror. Then it hit her. Moving her hand away from her birthmark to cover her gasp, she saw a little boy just about to cry the other side of the mirror. Hurrying into Casper’s private dressing room, she whispered “HELLO?!” frantically at the mirror. Could this little boy hear her?

Mirror Mirror

“H-h-hello?” Charlie stammered through. Charlie wasn’t the most logical of boys, but even he knew talking to a mirror was the first sign he needed to buy a one way ticket on the crazy train. “Who a- Where a-, Who ar-, Where are-, Are you trapped inside this mirror?!” Charlie stuttered and began to panic, he hadn’t had his stutter since the age of five but like a bad rash the impediment came to block him from conversation. Worried this poor helpless girl could be stuck inside the mirror he began to look for a way to open it, “STOP!” he heard a young girl say. Could he be getting closer? Is he going to rescue her? “I’m not inside the mirror I mean really do you think an eleven year old could fit inside a mirror how would i eat or sleep or drink or listen to Britney Spears” Yuki boomed through. “Rude” Charlie mumbled. He remembered Princesses are sometimes rude to their Prince Charming, after all they must be so bored living inside a castle and this one was stuck inside a mirror! “I’m in Barcelona!” The girl called through. “I, I am too” Charlie replied. “Hey! You have the same mark as me under your eye did your mummy give it to you too?” Charlie enquired. “I do not know. I do not know who my mummy is.” Yuki regretfully stated. Noticing the Princess was upset, Charlie tried to cheer her up by pulling funny faces through the mirror. A small smile was received, but Yuki didn’t seem like she wanted to chat. “What’s your name young boy?” Yuki asked. “I’m called Charlie, thats what Lady Monaco calls me!” Charlie proudly announced. For someone being held in captivity, Charlie’s ability to be optimistic and to see the world so innocently was definitely a gift. “I’m Yuki, i’m from Japan but I live in Barcelona with Mr. Rhinestone, he came to get me . He said he will look after me” Yuki explained. “That’s what Lady Monaco said to me” Charlie was so proud he could contribute something that appeared to please little Yuki. Trying to think of the next thing to say, both of the children came to a stand-off. Yuki questioned the whole thing. Was this a figment of her imagination? Was she just going crazy after being held captive for four months and then not being allowed to come into contact with any other children except Casper. Could this little boy just be her hopes and dreams manifesting into one tiny mirror, a portal into an alternate reality where she had a family, a proper one. After Charlie calmed down from his initial excitement at talking to a girl, he realised the weirdness of the situation too. He may be hyper and get overexcited, but he was nearly 13 he’ll have you know, he’s not as dumb as he may look.

“Keep hold of this mirror forever and ever” Yuki called through. She was surprised the words left her mouth, she never normally would say something of the sort, but the idea of never being able to speak to this boy again and not know his life was something Yuki swallowed her pride for. “You must keep this secret, don’t let anyone find this little mirror. You promise?” Yuki’s natural instinct to take charge triple jumped from the back of her mind right out into the forefront. She had to approach this with some form of structure. “How did you find yours?” She asked. “It was tied to Button’s collar. Button is Mr Rhinestone’s dog!” Charlie relayed the information back. Interesting, Yuki thought. “So someone obviously meant to give it to Button” she spoke to herself. “What?” Charlie asked through the mirror. Shaking her head, Yuki never repeated herself and told Charlie how she found hers. The two exchanged stories for an hour, Yuki telling how Geraldine and Mr Rhinestone don't really love each other, and Charlie explaining how Juan, Lady Monaco’s butler is always a big meanie to him. Neither of them wanted to ask the next question, but Charlie did, he felt like he had to if he wanted to become closer to his new mirror friend. “H-h-have you ever b-been to the gold room?” Charlie’s words creeped out of him like an athlete going for hurdles, tripping occasionally but at least he finished the race. “The gold room?” Yuki asked. “Y-yeah, that’s what I call it anyway because everything there is gold and GOLD! There’s a little podium, like one you’d see at the go-kart racing if you win and get to stand on and loads of Lady Monaco’s friends give her money to speak to me. I wish Lady Monaco would find some people my age to give her some money. Grown ups are boring” Charlie’s sigh warped through the mirror and turned into a shudder for Yuki. “Th-thats my grand room! That’s my house!” Even Yuki, a highly intelligent young girl began to stammer. It was as if her brain was running to catch an ice cream van but her mouth was always two steps behind. In that moment, she heard Casper begin to cry, noticing Yuki had disappeared Her palms sweaty, her mind more tangled than a pair of earphones that’ve been through a wash. She commanded Charlie to listen closely. “I’ve got to go now” Yuki sadly mumbled. “Come back to your mirror tomorrow at 7pm just before bed time okay? We need to talk about my house! Promise me!” Yuki ordered. “I promise” Charlie called back. “No that doesn’t count” Yuki shook her head. “You must say it with your pinky finger to the mirror, then you have to do it no matter what.” Great, she thought. No one in their right mind would ever break something as sacred as a pinky promise, she knew she was definitely going to speak to him again. Putting his little pinky to the mirror, Charlie swore his oath to his new friend in the mirror and hid the item in one of his many den’s around the house. Lady Monaco was too big to get in them and Button was a dog, he couldn’t snitch on Charlie even if he did find it. Both of the children lay in bed that night, staring at the stars trying to draw one another’s faces in their minds. 7pm couldn’t come quick enough.

#Prose #story time

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