#but thats more bc its hard for me to start games rather than lack of interest

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Probably a silly question but idk much about it so which pokemon mystery dungeon do I start with

oh! any youd prefer! theyre all disconnected from each other as stories so Technically theres no Real Proper Order, buuuuuut. im hard fixated on this series so ill vouch for em individually via the differences i know :]

red/blue rescue team: red is on gba, blue is a ds port. im not sure th proper difference there? theyre just a really good time, nod nods. only caveat is that its the first in the series, and there were some Serious QoL fixes in th next few games ''> > like significantly more inventory space, better movesets, better recruit mechanics... which is to say, start here if you dont wanna backtrack and experience The Horrors like i did. being a gen3 game it does Not hold back on u imo.. has a lot of fun postgame stuff if you really love the gameplay.

explorers of sky: typical fan favorite iirc! (technically the successor to time/darkness, but it has More Stuff and More QoL. the mildly adjusted one.) my personal favorite also. surprise surprise. has an entire games worth of postgame AND sidestories featuring the npcs. it is so full of love ok. a very good place to start if you just want a good taste of the series as a whole imo. also FOOTPRINT MINIGAAAMEEEEEE ‼‼‼‼🎉🎉🎉🎉

gates to infinity: divisive. i personally loved it, but its gameplay Is a bit different from th previous ones. iirc a bit shorter too? it also almost solely features unovan pokemon in terms of Actual Recruits n such, so its a much smaller roster. still made me deeply emotional tho, i do not stand for gti slander in this house. just a sliiight bit of a toneshift, for lack of a better descriptor.

super mystery dungeon: ok so i havent actually. played this one yet... ''> > but! its the second up there in terms of Dearly Beloved By Fans asfar as i know, BUT. id recc playing this one after any others tbh, just bc it seems like itd hit a bit harder that way. but thats just personal (uneducated) opinion, and you can certainly just beeline here if u want. nothing stopping ya. o7

as a little tip for all of these, uh. 1) reviver seeds are your friend, 2) you mostly cant evolve till endgame, so dont pick purely on final evo if youre intent on Picking your starter rather than taking the quiz result, 3) bring room control moves/items for the love of god monster houses dont PLAY.

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[single-malt-scotch]

i kno theres a lot of comparison for Good Season between s9 and s7 and i love them both bc they really have entirely different vibes. they cant be the same. i dont think its fair to say why one was better than the other but rather recognize what is different about them and think about the numerous things done and why they worked well, potentially thinking about what would be nice to see going forward.

s7 was interesting bc it isnt unlike s9 in having some kind of central location and then hermits spreading out from there, as well of the numerous 'events' that occurred.

i think a central area is key... not just spawning in the same place together, but spawning there and establishing something there. s9's spawn blossoming in that spot with everyone's small starter homes was lovely because it basically made a small neighborhood. it seemed natural to make a little starter base to prepare and live in before going off to build a potentially bigger base imo. my favorite thing about s9 (kind of s8 simply because of proxy voice) is the excitement and chaos of starting and everyone bumping into each other and poking fun etc and i think spawn is a key part of that! its what i look forward to most for the start of a season.

in terms of events, its something the hermits were very good at in s7 and naturally did in s9 again. events are good. they allow collabs between bigger numbers! i cant even count all the events on each season but i realize i feel there is like... a 'roleplay-ish' event and some kinda game event lol. and strangely we had two events that had to do with controlling a district/server etc (s7 mayor and s9 king). which is just coincidence. but, this kinda back and forth of funny 'lets play pretend" to some degree can be amusing to watch and i dont mind it, but its the way that its played out that matters. s7 mayor was pretty simple and didnt effect other people too hard (it was on a much smaller scale tbh), whilst ren's king arc was incredibly involved!! and that is NOT an insult (i think it was done decently in a way where ppl not involved did not have weird video situations of being confused or left out-- they could ignore it easily).

it is just wild to see the progression of work done between these events these ppl created. honestly no matter the ups and downs of the king arc i cannot applaud ren enough for everything he did, it was insane. this is to say-- i wouldnt doubt a pattern potentially coming through-- playing pretend in a way thats a bit more than just a prank war, and obviously making silly games. games are really The staple of the server and the way people get together to have fun. my only wish would be to not have another mayor/king/etc arc lol. i dont think thatll be an issue.

i think what stands out for both season are the things some hermits make that arent mini games or just a little play pretend, but the long going events that get people involved for a longer period-- s7's button, tag, head games, decked out or the base trade. s9's decked out, tcg, mumbo's new button, ren's quests, etc... and i imagine they will all come up with new things again. s9 at least to me felt like it lacked some of that but its probably more because the ones that did come up lasted a long time inbetween giving hermits more time to work on their builds. but they all came in waves that felt fitting. let a thing happen for a while, it slows down, people spend time more specifically working on their base. rinse repeat. i guess in some ways it felt 'organized' but i can see how it maybe didnt work for some people-- some didnt like watching tcg and when it was the main focus, some people didnt watch. same goes with decked out.

and of course, across both seasons, its always a toss up on how "complete" is feels. and my prespective is less of who completes what, but instead how the season potentially affected their ability to work on their stuff. of course there are all kinds of irl things that affect them too so i cant judge this as if i know everything. s9 felt kind of linear? again, in the sense of how larger scale events were spaced out. and i feel like ppl were given good spans of time to work on their stuff. really, it just seemed like irl things is what slowed some people down towards the end, especially when the pauses between things like tcg and decked out were spent dealing with irl, and then returning because of those events. at least from my perspective, s7 felt a bit more chaotic in terms of this pacing due to the randomness of events and the fact they would often take them away from their bases. i dont actually feel like anyone worked less on their bases in s7 than s9, but the big things that happened were not at all paced the same way as they were in s9 (it sometimes made me feel like they werent making much progress at all even though they were lol).

it is interesting taking a look at these two seasons because i think they had a lot of the same stuff, but both went about it differently. i think these two seasons define the hermits very well-- the kinds of stuff they do, the stuff they enjoy, and what they tend to keep doing. assuming s10 doesnt get some kind s8 treatment i can only see this one going forward just as well as the previous. and i hope as well to see some very interesting new ideas from after the insane massive works like tcg and decked out 2.

[codes]

hello matthew!! :D this ask isnt related to the little game u made unfortunately but id like to ask for some advice from someone who probably has to read a lot for school!!

i finished reading a classic of literature recently, jane austens persuasion. having repeated myself many times today, it was a very good thought provoking book. except that i didnt really realise that until i read the introduction of the book where they discuss her techniques and how she handles the themes!! argh.. in fact while i was readin the whole thing i didnt even really know what to feel! i knew about the instances of titular persuasion but i wasnt even really sure what they were saying with nuance...

since im so troubled by my lack of sensitivity and find no help elsewhere on the interwebs, as someone who i find can parse the complex muddled text of enstars with clarity, what should i do to become a more sensitive reader! or rather how do u read matthew?

hi lab! im a lil honored that u hold me in such high regard bc honestly, i dont always feel that my literary analysis skills are up to par! though i think thats an opinion shared by many but i often end up in the same position as you and even my professors say the same thing where they have to reread books before they start to really delve into analysis. its p normal, honestly. a lot of themes in literature are largely opinionated so some people pick up patterns faster than others and sometimes two readings can conflict with one another. it happens! one reading may be more clearly supported by evidence within the text but analyzing literature usually takes a lot of practice more than anything, but sometimes going back to the basics rlly helps and focusing on which critical theory may be applicable. could you maybe analyze the text through a character? perhaps the psychoanalytic theory may help! are gender roles present within the text? maybe looking at it through a feminist critical lens may give you a good ledge to start off. theres also formalism, post-colonialist, Marxist theory, eco-criticism, etc... the world is your oyster and having trouble with analyzing a text is normal! we're not all-knowing and sometimes it helps to look at what other people have to say will help you most of all.

also i asked my friend @cupidneos who is insanely smart for her advice since i bet that she would have something to say (also shes also a jane austen fan) and this is what she said:

i do wanna say that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself since Persuasion is easily one of her hardest texts to really extend and make sense of so it’s no fault of your own … literature that uses free indirect discourse to hint towards our knowledge of character tends to be harder to understand bc of how limited that info can be! that being said, not being able to place our finger on something until it’s highlighted is completely okay! that’s what the introduction is there for; to help you out. there’s no set list of criteria to being a “more sensitive reader” since the phenomenon of reading itself is so mercurial. with practice i’m so certain that u will get a better sense of where to look for those literary themes. and don’t sell urself short in doing so either! if u find a passage important, pursue it!!! doesn’t matter what everyone else says abt it hehe

[tibli]

sorry to spam yall with kirbyposting but actually im not bc this has been my low key obsession since childhood lmao

[teethands]

FF HEADCANON LIST

CRACKS KNUCKLES these are all imported from google docs bc thats where ive been keeping all my thoughts :] im not sure if theres any repeat HCs in here and im sorry if someones got to me before i have but these all came from my own brain !!! these are all very miscellaneous HCs but they generally revolve around vivosaurs and revival. some of them are rather macabre so a solid CW warning here for mentions of dinosaur body horror and death. ALSO SPOILERS FOR FOSSIL FIGHTERS 1 AND 2 BUT MOSTLY 2 LETS GO

modern boneysaurs/zombiesaurs

i think it is entirely possible to replicate a boney/zombiesaur outside of whatever sorcery zongazonga used to resurrect them in the first place. i think its relatively well known undead vivosaurs are a direct result of ZZ and his ancient tournament, and although zombiesaurs are usually claimed to be used in such tournaments most often, i think boneysaurs are just a variant of that but where less used due to weakness and general incompatibility. theyre all undead vivosaurs. thats it. on to the meat of this headcanon, boney/zombiesaur resurrection: i think zombiesaurs could be the result of attempting to revive a deceased vivosaur, while boneysaurs might be caused by man or machine malfunction while reviving a fossil. i think this might be an interchangeable effect: zombiesaurs might emerge from resurrections, and boneysaurs might emerge from revivals, although altogether i think this entire phenomenon is extremely rare. fossil revival goes entirely against the laws of nature and thus, nature must step in at some points to attempt to stop the process, although common fossil park high-tech machinery probably stops most instances like this from happening. boneysaurs emerging from failed revivals are almost always the cause of very poor cleaning, (maybe attempting to revive a heavily damaged, failed fossil head?) or outdated/unkempt fossil revival machinery. boney/zombiesaurs were so common in ZZ’s time because of such poor methods of revival. at some point during a “doomed” fossil revival, the skin and flesh of the vivosaur its supposed to resemble never quite “renders” in. the skin is registered and stitched together, but only holds the bones in place with an unknown black substance, leaving it void black in the same way a texture in a video game may just fail to load. presumably boneysaurs are almost always immediately dead in the revival chamber after the process is over due to lack of functioning organs, skin, etc, without some kind of support or magic. or maybe they are magic- every bad unnatural part of a revival machine fused into one being, and thats what allows them to live on. on the other hand, this could mean any type of boneysaur could emerge from any dinosaur- pterosaurs, therizinosaurs, raptors, maybe- maybe- just a thought, maybe even super revival vivosaurs could have this effect happen too. so, so rarely though. so rarely, its probably never even happened before in recorded vivosaur revival history. 

as for zombiesaurs- this phenomenon could happen when a recently deceased vivosaur is attempted revival. recently deceased, as in, undecayed flesh-still-in-tact. i imagine this happens much more often than boneysaurs- although, i dont think many people are trying to revive dead vivosaurs.

zombiesaurs, fresh from the revival chamber, are almost always damned and in pain, and serve as a reminder to fighters that the laws of nature can only be twisted so far, and they are best be put down. presumably no fossil cleaning facilities will allow a fighter to attempt to revive a dead vivosaur due to the danger and the frightening, disturbing nature of zombiesaurs. fossil damage + neon goo every fighter has encountered the bright purple (green in the OG FF) substance that appears during cleaning when a fossil is too damaged in one area. this material wouldnt be produced from the fossil itself, but rather generated by the fossil cleaning machinery when it detects damage within the bone, kinda like a 3D printer. this is why fossil cleaning is so meticulous, and why it has to be done in such specific conditions with heavy surveillance and a tight time limit. this prevents the vivosaur from having broken bones when it is revived- it is a bright, obvious substance, and it feels much like a warm, firm jelly with a hard, synthetic core that sews bones together. maybe its different in other regions, explaining the color difference amongst games. it is almost completely unnoticeable when the vivosaur is revived, nearly perfectly mimicking bone and flesh to prevent issues later on in the vivosaurs life. as good of a bone mimic as it might be, i think a very heavily damaged bone would still be a weak point during battle or an area of pain or irritation for the vivosaur. that is why it is best to clean your fossils as well as you can. maybe this goo is designed to be replaced with real bone by the vivosaurs body later in life, but i have yet to think about that too much. perhaps its soft enough to be destroyed and replaced by the body’s natural healing functions, but hard enough to act as bone? And perhaps thats why its best to let your vivosaur rank up (rest+heal) before taking them to battle. UNRELATED HEADCANON- GUHNASH COULD HAVE HAD A COOLER DESIGN. I DONT LIKE HIM HE LOOKS LIKE A TADPOLE. i have a vision in mind for a cooler guhnash redesign- i like the snake-ish look, but maybe he could be like. an infinitely long being. nobody knows where he starts or ends. a head at the front of an infinitely massive body that consumes everything, and nobody knows where the eaten planets goes. kinda like a jörmungandr-like being. idk i just think a “planet eater” with living brains should be more eldritch and god-like and mysterious. ANYWAYS vivosaur ecosystems? there is literally no way a vivo ecosystem wouldnt form. NO WAY. so many dinosaurs and seeing how OFTEN they are abandoned- refer to the opening scene of fossil fighters champions- it would not be any surprise feral vivosaurs wouldnt breed and form small ecosystems among themselves and around fossil parks. its not an uncommon sight to see pterosaurs flying overhead or sauropods munching on trees, although id bet theropods and more dangerous vivosaurs would have teams of park rangers to keep them under control. refer once again to FFC opening scene. this would explain the seemingly infinite amount of fossils in the dig sites, how you can find vivosaurs in only specific areas- although thats leading into a rather dark topic and i would rather not talk about it right now LOL i will leave that open to interpretation. jurassic park knock off SOME OTHER LITTLE MISC HCS TOO SHORT TO WRITE ENTIRE TOPICS ABOUT: because ZZ is a mix of boneysaur and zombiesaur and hes also an ancient sorcerer he smells fucking rank. so fucking bad. hes got maggots and shit hes only held together by magic but somehow he kicks ass. but hes fucking stinky so at what cost boneysaurs have no concept of feelings and arent really desirable as vivos and zombiesaurs only know rage and pain, also making them undesirable, for very very good reasons. they are taboo to talk about among fighters but most of the time they are only myths because of how rare they are feral vivosaurs dont have medals, only revived vivos do. that means they are standalone animals and they are also generally undesirable for fighters but they can still be tamed, if one wishes. theres way, WAY more fossil parks and dig sites than shown in the games. fossil battling is as well known and used as much as people love music and video games in the fossil fighters universe. vivosaurs are an essential part of society, although there is often controversy on the ethics of fossil battles and revival. pokemon knock off alright thats all i feel like typing for now thanks for reading this far lads. i love dinossuars. i wanna write some things on dinaurians but maybe later after ive introduced saar here :)

[casworan]

❝ pride was fed to him from a silver spoon and now that he’s grown up, he’s grabbed the spoon and fed his ego some more. ❞ THOMAS HAYES? No, that’s actually CASWORAN ROWLE. Only EIGHTEEN years old, this SLYTHERIN alumni works as a PHILANTHROPIST and is sided with THE DEATH EATERS. HE identifies as A CIS MAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SNOBBISH, ENTITLED, and CRUEL but also DISCIPLINED, METICULOUS and CHARISMATIC. 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist. CHARACTER PARALLELS: schmidt (new girl), henry winter (the secret history), alistair ryle (the riot club), chad radwell (scream queens), chad charming (descendants) --- (how are two of these named chad wtf) HELLO uh just a heads up that i donut condone any of the behaviour this shithole throws into the world. yikes! also there’s some triggers in here for abuse and terminal illness, but they will be marked <3 

history

let’s get one thing straight --- emrick rowle and hemera rosier did not love each other when they married each other and they knew about it. they both agreed that their marriage was a good choice, a smart move, that it would benefit both and --- well, they both had ambition streaming through their veins, so the choice was made easily. they married, for political reasons, for money, but absolutely not for love. 

casworan was born a year into their marriage and was the perfect son. he wasn’t given a welsh name like so many rowles before him had, but a cornish one, celebrating hemera’s mother’s cornish ancestry. 

casworan means one who is powerful in battle, which emrick liked. he wanted a soldier, a pawn, a piece in his great chess match that was the world.

cas is a cousin to genie, wes and lo, and also to seren on his mother’s side.

and casworan’s parents might not love each other, they did love him. his mother’s love was doting and smothering, but genuine and unconditional.  his father’s was conditional, and based on expectations and constantly changing from hot to cold. emrick raised casworan to the perfect heir, the perfect son, the perfect pawn.

emrick rowle is a strategist, but also a coward. he uses his money and influence to pull strings behind the scenes, but is never the one to publicly call the shots. casworan is his son, but he’s also ... another piece in the game. he’s the person who’ll pick up where he left off, and emrick won’t leave everything to someone he does not trust and respect.

hemera is evan rosier’s daughter, by the way, and by no means a sweetheart, but a better parent. compared to emrick, the standard is quite low but still --- she is a better parent, and casworan is a complete momma’s boy. 

so casworan grows up --- spoiled dirty and loved by both parents. he learns languages (french and kernowek from his mother, latin and english grammar and such from a tutor), learns to play the violin, learns about his family’s history and legacy and how it intertwines with the rest of the history of the wizarding world, learns about blood purity and how one day he and his parents will rise above all the unworthy members of their society. he takes it all up and questions nothing, both because he has no reason to, and because his parents are convincing.

abuse tw (verbal and physical) // that’s not to say life was perfect. there was always a certain coldness at home. the lack of love between cas’ parents was clear to him from a young age, and it’s quite a strange thing, when your parents don’t seem to love each other but dont have any issue with it. there was no room for failure at home, no room for toeing the line. his father’s words could go from praising and prideful to harsh and cruel in seconds, his hands hard and unforgiving. casworan learned to keep his back straight and work harder and to swallow whatever anger he felt. he listened to every word that came from his father’s lips and took them in as truth and never questioned the way things were. end of tw

casworan went to hogwarts at age eleven ( he’d seen the castle before, of course --- he’d visited hogsmeade plenty of times before with his mother ) and was sorted into slytherin there. it was an easy sorting --- there were not many non-slytherin qualities the hat saw, besides maybe a sense of loyalty and a hunger for learning but cas’ cunning, shrewdness and ambition outweighed everything. 

hogwarts came easy to casworan. he was a good learner and knew plenty of people from his life before school -- people who ran in the same circles. to branch out wasn’t something he felt he needed to do, with a few exception here or there ( for either particularly skilled people or other purebloods he didn’t know yet ). casworan likes learning, values his education and was, well, a nerd. a hardworking student. was in a few clubs too, i’m sure --- i will get back on that when i have it figured out for plotting purposes! 

terminal illness tw // in casworan’s third year, his mother fell ill. it was a genetic disease, an incurable one, one that soon left her weakened and bedbound and tired. his father’s response wasn’t to stick to her side --- they didn’t love each other after all, and in all honesty, hemera didn’t want him on her side either --- but to flee in stead. his involvement in shady dealings grew and he retreated to the city more and more for work. casworan ... well, didn’t respond very well. 

abuse tw // he raged. he cried and raged and kicked against his father’s shins and demanded that he solved this because, well, the world had always given casworan exactly what he wanted, and when he got something he absolutely did not want, the one person he could blame was his father. he acted like a child because he was one, and his mother was going to die, and his father broke the news in such a cold way that he couldn’t help but rage. his tantrum was met with cold eyes and the same cruelty cas had felt before.

this was when a seed of hate for his father started to grow, something he’d never even dared to feel before. it’s still growing to this day. end of abuse tw //

a family friend moved in to help his mother, and they got a second house elf and life changed, thigns shifted. casworan learned what it was to feel out of control and well, he didn’t like it one bit. he’s entitled and spoiled and used to getting everything he wants and this situation is something he has absolutely no say in and it drives him mad. rather than give him some perspective, it just makes him act more entitled and controlling in the rest of his life. end of terminal illness tw //

so cas makes his way through hogwarts, acting like an entitled twat, hanging with his lads, having a laff here and there and earning a whole lot of NEWTs. he had no qualms sharing his world views or sharing his entitled nature, here and there showing a more violent and cruel streak. casworan is a bully, an elitist prick, someone who looks down on most people. 

when the war breaks out, well --- he’s quick to sign up. he believes in the cause, of course, and there’s no other option, really. he’s been prepped for this life. this is what he was made to do. he doesn’t even consider not joining. and so he joins and feels pride and power and a thirst to proof everyone around him that he’s the motherfucking shit. what an IDIOT.

besides his death eater life, cas is mostly focused on maintaining his image. like his father, he works hard on things like charity and philanthropy, so his name appears in the newspaper linked with good news almost exclusively. he’s picky, of course, about the causes he works for ----- things related to education, he genuinely works for, but there’s also some questionable things he donates to.

and then besides that, cas is mostly focused on enjoying life. getting drunk or high out of his mind, fucking shit up with the lads, having a good old time because guess what? the world is his to own and ruin, and he won’t stop at nothing. he’s entitled and obnoxious, but he always pays and tips well and sees absolutely no issues with his behaviour. he can’t wait for the world to become even more his as the war progresses. 

personality & tidbits

...... an asshole.

no literally he’s such an asshole. he’s so fucking used to the world catering to his ugly needs and getting everything he wants and he’s so entitled and such an ASSHOLE.

someone please punch him

anyway --- he likes Extra things. velvet and silk and rich fabrics and leather shoes and accessories with snake themes and polo shirts and ... he dresses like a frat boy, but then mixed with wizarding fashion

ugly. 

pretentious and snobbish to a fault. wants nothing but the best and is used to the best. would often complain about the house elves and their quality of food at hogwarts, because his house elves were much better cooks, they had been trained in france after all!!!

kind of hates his name and prefers to go by cas at all times, and i dont blame him

has daddy and mommy issues lmao !!! 

capitalist right wing scum, tbh. would have voted trump and brexit and all that shit if he was a real person. I HATE HIM SO MUUUUUCHHHHHHH.

“if youre poor, thats your own fault!”

he is literally the worst person

i hate-write this character its a load of fun

he loves his hair lmao

plays the violin and generally likes classical music? a snob, i told yall. also likes other music, let me figure it out pls thanks

okay let’s talk about some of his better sides because so far all ive done is drag this kid and thats reasonable, but ... he’s got some good things, i guess. 

he’s a good friend. like, if you’re his mate, you’re his mate for life (or until you turn your back, which is when he will feel hurt and will hurt u back yike!). he’ll be there for u Big Time. not good at emotional support, but good at sitting with a glass of wine/whiskey and talking/listening. will finance u if u need it (he doesnt like poor ppl but makes an exception for friends i guess?). will punch someone for u.

he ... does really value education? he would just like to see hogwarts change around bc there’s so much unnecessary shit (read: muggleborn students and subjects like muggle studies and divination). but yeah, he rly thinks that learning is important and that u have to ~broaden your mind ( but not too much ofc )

he is pretty family oriented, and rn he’s of course 18 so that’s not a big thing, but he’d be a ... proper dad? i think? he rly wants a big fam eventually

still a dick

good dueller and generally a pretty skilled wizard which is a bummer :/

loves partying and getting drunk out of his mind and then breaking stuff that isnt his, very riot club like

idk what else to say but HE IS AN ASSHOLE. 

[1000-rat-corpses]

spoiler free thoughts on pyre

I went in thinking 'okay I love visual novels with beautiful art and music. I don't expect too much I guess bc the reviews are only ‘very positive’ but I can just deal with this 'basketball' battle system' everyone keeps mentioning. After I got used to the controls which made me panic a bit on keyboard (switching to controller saved my life), I finally figured it out and I grew to really look forward to the Rites. I kept thinking GOD I WISH SOMEONE HAD JUST SEEN THAT SHIT so much endorphins were released from some super fast paced but smooth moves ahaha i loved it (tho it got frustrating when you make one mistake or start to get tired and somehow the enemies just swerve hard and slam dunk multiple times in a row into your pyre)

Also the lore was very thought out. Very in depth and lovingly written, i can tell (tho it left a lot to your imagination in places). Even the language they speak is great. The characters were a delight for the most party but I did overthink the story's plot. It's rather simple and straightforward. It could have been more fleshed out in some regards and I thought the ending was a bit unceremonious and then... I thought I was fine but then I started crying during the credits song? You determine your own ending, so I guess I kinda shot myself in the foot there.

It was definitely an experience, regardless of its shortcomings. Where the game lacked in the ‘showing’ rather than telling department (I would have loved more shit happening in the now, flashbacks, more art like a CG thing i guess idk), the music was like 7 steps up all for the purpose of storytelling. i mean each liberation rite had custom lyrics to the team with a custom instrument/sound/remix or w/e. and then the ending song . omg// lol

and like the fuCKING ending song has a MILLION different verses depending on everything - including the standard CD version which is 100% true neutral. i love this?????? i love it.

anyway ok thats all

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 2 - “I will not be a little tea pot this time” - Ellie

dylan r

OKAY! New game! I’m excited to start! I’m just kinda trying my best to socialize, I’m horrible at talking to other people, my plan early is usually to just win tribals and form small connections with people 

Although I flopped SO HARD during that challenge it’s unbelievable I literally tried that for hours & I couldn’t do it like literally 

Not much else, I’m just kinda vibing. 

Jack

So Ellie totally spilled that she's gonna send stuff to our tribe so i'm telling my tribe that. I think raffy is gonna do the same. Also im thinking everyone on one so that we mess with them.

Jack

My audio is going crazy and cutting out and im like AM I BEING SPOKEN TO????!?!?

Jack

I'm chatting with maynor and stephen and thats going good. but also Raffy is cool but imma try to put some false ideas about the cookie game on him 

Raffy

There was one hinky vote for me which tells me that people think I am push-y and a leader on this tribe which is not ok. I mean I want to win challenges, but I don't want to be seen as aggressive. However, I guess I cannot help it. I need to get into an alliance soon. Otherwise, I'll find myself not within a majority. I guess my social game isn't strong enough so I need to rely on my strategic game.

Keith John

Well, its been about three days since the game began, It's going okay for me. We won Immunity so game talk has been on the low. The time difference really screwed me over, I wasn't part of the latest immunity challenge discussion. Even though I wouldn't have contributed much in that convo, Having no input or talk during such moments puts me on the back foot (socially). The saving grace is that I was able to connect to four others through one on one convos. That has helped me built a sort of majority alliance, But as a thumb rule of survivor, unless we don't through a vote together. U cant trust anyone. Hopefully, it sticks and I am able to get through the first few votes. I don't know why but I keep getting a feeling that maybe John and Cormac are telling me what I wanna hear and make me feel comfortable. I hope that isn't true and the alliance is genuine. Cause I feel I really get along with them and can really work with them for a long time.  I think both of them are awesome. The only other person I trust is Zoe, we just connected quick. Sierra though in my alliance I haven't yet had a strong one on one conversation with her. let's see what's in store in the coming days 

Jack

Were planning to fuck with the other tribe by sending a spy to seed some accidental plan spillage. John’s a smart cookie. MaynorJay. I am slightly sad you split me and Timmy up. The cast reveal and seeing Timmy in that tribe i was like :0. But you did make it one world so i could still talk game with him 😊. Plus i missed being hosted by you. ❤️

John

this plan i concocted could either be really good or really bad. all we gotta do is throw the other side off their scent. but can we do it and make it believable? i guess we will find out tonight.

Ellie

Cookies is chaotic: more detail coming later

Jack

I took a risk for the idol hunt that might cost me my vote at the next tribal. I'm both regretting this decision and thinking it'll probably maybe be worth it...?

John

ok my plan dissolved like an alka seltzer. that’s fun. we love that. i just hope we win at this point. if we lose, that’s going to make things quite interesting.

Ellie

K so lack of communication has officially reached another level, this would be easier if people spoke???? Even Joseph did and he had finals!!!!! Some people have time to try to get on my good side and strategize but not to fucking talk about the challenge???? Some of yall👀👀

Sierra

Sitting out of this challenge was agonizing! I couldn’t be a part of any of the strategy talk for the challenge itself... so I had little to no clue what to expect as I watched. I really don’t want to go to Tribal Council, either. I’m hoping that we can pull out a win and I won’t have to stir the pot and potentially show my cards alliance-wise this early in the game.

Dylan C

I haven't been talking to people enough today and should probably do some of that. Well, I certainly will if we go to tribal but I'm hoping we don't

Jack

Cromac and I chatted for a bit and agreed on a sort of alliance, so that's a thing. Other than that I have fingers crossed for us winning this challenge!

Sierra

So we lost immunity, and I’m PISSED. We fully expected Keith to get 60 cookies from our tribe alone, but he only ended up with 55. That means that somebody on our tribe did not play into the tribe’s strategy. Now my butt could be on the line and I didn’t even have a chance to play in the immunity challenge! I feel relatively safe with my alliance, but anything could happen between now and tribal. Here’s hoping my five stick together!

Timmy

We won!! There was strategy used on the tribe but also people just tried to take control of what everyone else was doing. Like if they try to do that for the challenge they’ll try to do that for votes and that’s not how I’m trying to roll. It kind of sucks that the people I want to work with are on the other tribe. I want to message jack bc they seem chill based on the call last night after tribal. Also there is no way I’ll get an idol bc these slide puzzles are ridiculous.

Sierra

Right now it looks like the votes will be heading towards Stephen. I really like him and think he could be a good ally... but the numbers are against him right now, and that makes it difficult to save him. I don’t want to sink my game attempting to save his... so it looks like Stephen will be the first one voted off of our tribe. I’ll really miss having another literature lover on the tribe, and I’ll miss having some intercontinental diversity, but I’d rather save my own neck right now.

Maynor

So I am now in an alliance with Cormac, Zoe, Sierra, and John. And it is called Maynor’s lovers for some reason. But it now got changed to Maynor’s Angels. 👀 jay came to my host chat and was like ___ is shook. And i died as well. So far the target seems like it might be Stephen that was brought up by John. But we still have until tomorrow so who knows. As long as im safe that is all that matters.

John

hi. i’m john, i’m 20 years old, and i’m absolutely worried stephen has an idol. he just...doesn’t connect. and it puts me on edge. so i want the vote to be somewhat split. we need to put the majority of them on stephen, but have one or two of us worms put down someone else’s name just in case stephen pulls out an idol. no matter what, us 4 (me, cormac, sierra, and zoe) need to get through this vote so we have the majority.

Jack

WOW. Okay so Cormac and I a pretty tight rn. Plan is to vote either Maynor or Stephen. Cormac is closer with Zoe, who i haven'y heard from much. Sierra and I have had some banter with Sierra and opened up private channels with them. Imma check that they're good with Stephen or Maynor, and which they'd prefer. 

Jack

Sierra seems to want to keep Maynor around more than Stephen while I'm feeling the other way. I'm down with either so hopefully things work out.

Dylan C

https://cnet2.cbsistatic.com/img/tcQaSg5LL_0-HBuWFPxpguK71TM=/1092x0/2019/06/06/b11ccfac-685e-4cb2-a239-b09af07b1baf/toriflynn2.jpg

Jack

IDOLS EXSIST. And hopefully Stephen and maynor dont have any

Jack

I MADE A DUMB CRAZY PLAN. Like I said to the others it basically, we make a chat with Stephen, tell him heyyyyy lets vote Maynor, then go and actually vote Stephen. I feel a little bit evil but also i totally get the reason blindsides are so popular. I FEEL LIKE A SPY!

Dylan C

I love you, Jay

Jack

The trap has been set, hopefully Stephen falls for the it and nothing goes to shit. And also that Cormac's not pulling a con on me. I doubt he is but pArAnOiA.  

Jack

STEPHEN RESPONDED AND HE SEEMS DOWN WITH VOTING MAYNOR AND BELIEVES CORMAC AND ME AND I CHATTED WITH JOHN AND HES DOWN WITH VOTING STEPHEN BUT O MY GOD IM SO NERVOUS. sorry bout the caps lock, I feel like it was needed to covey my FEELiNGS

Jack

All the gears are locked in. Everyone's voting Stephen; Stephen seems to be on board with voting Maynor; Maynor will hopefully stick with going for Stephen; and Keith will maybe hopefully I hope go with what me and Cormac are going for. 

That started off so confident and turned into "Hm maybe I'm not sure I hope"

John

ok so here’s the tea sisters. our original target was stephen. he’s more reserved, kinda quiet, but he’s going after less active players (ironic, right), and apparently he is targeting keith. so if an idol is played, it might be him. so the worms are talking to jack and trying to get him to come on board for our plan. jack goes into complete paranoia mode between all of us, and we’re concerned he’s a flight risk. so the vote is shifting to jack. being erratic is more dangerous in this game than silence is.

John

lmao if this blindside on jack completely backfires and i go to EOE, i’d actually scream over how much work is going into it. this is so messy and complex for literally day 4 of this game that it perplexes me. it’s either gonna be 4/3/1 or 5/2/1, i’m not sure yet. but strap in folks, we’re experiencing turbulence. the plane may be going down.

Jack

Other than Keith everyone's locked in to vote for Stephen, even Maynor. Me and Stephen chatted and he complimented me saying that i don't seem like a new player cause I'm so comfortable in chat and I'm here like "hahahah yeah so weird not like in acting all calm and collected at you so you don't know I'm voting for you." I do feel a bit bad voting out Stephen now that I've got a better vibe on him, and I've been leaving little hints of "sorry for voting you out" and "hope you come back from the edge" at him, but doing them as me saying "Oh I feel so bad for voting out Maynor" so that I don't blow my cover but yeah. Here's all my guilt dude ^ 

Joseph Collins

We got an immunity win which was nice. Apparently Malarkey (Melrakki) played with some type of strategy. And Ulfur went coocoo for coco puffs and won. So I’m happy about that. Putting a plan in motion to get some threats out soon. Need a really good numbers advantage first. 

Zoe

GOD okay wow this is so much. We lost the immunity challenge, which is funny because I said that I was pretty confident we were going to win. I'm not concerned about being sent home, I'm almost positive Cormac would tell me if he knew, and I have good relationships with people in my tribe. And very good news: Well, after literally teaching myself how to do a slide puzzle, wrestling with the god-host herself over reference images and website dysfunctionality, I finally reached the end of the idol hunt and located a very beautiful advantage, which is to call a blind vote and then see what people vote even though nobody else can. I read it a few times and then facetimed with Cormac to tell him the good news, and we agreed we would keep it until swap or merge and use it to see where peoples' loyalties lie. We discussed all of our options, our relationships with different people, and who we want to keep close until later. I have a good relationship with Timmy and Maynor, and I think Dylan C as well, so that will come in handy when we swap and after the merge. We also solidified an alliance with us and Keith. FUCKING MEANWHILE, over in tribe Machievelli, the "oh, worm?" alliance has gone absolutely nuts strategizing over this vote. Jack has made everyone very paranoid by asking every person in the tribe who they were voting for. He had never messaged me individually before, and then just popped up and said he wanted to make sure I was voting for Stephen, which is who "oh, worm?" was originally going to vote for. I think it was Cormac who brought it up because Jack keeps info-dumping all of his thoughts onto him, but we all agreed to vote for Jack. Cormac and I discussed how to tell each person, one of those resulting in a final three deal with Keith, entitled "Zoe and the boys" as well as a yet to be titled final four alliance with me, Cormac, John, and Keith, yet to be named, that neither John nor Keith know about. Ultimately we said that we'd check back in in the morning and determine if anything had blown up overnight with Jack, since he seems to be very paranoid.

Jack

MWAHAHAAHHA Stephen believes out plan to vote maynoris genuine but it is a TRICK. Hope he doesn't hate me tho, seems like a nice guy. Those read receipts are just real sus being off man. but he tots believes me, Cormac, and Sierra.

Zoe

It's been more of a quiet morning, though we are all tense about what is going to happen at tribal. We don't think there is anything crazy happening with Jack, and ultimately we aren't telling Stephen about the plan in case he ends up telling a person he isn't supposed to. It should turn out to be a 6-1-1 vote, hopefully none of those going to me. I want to play a low key game here: I want to be making the decisions with Cormac, making tight alliances with other players, and then having them go out and do the dirty work. John seems like a good guy and a good player, and I also feel like he thinks he's the leader of our little group. It's definitely in our best interest to stay tight with him, but we have to be wary of him making alliances on the other side as well.

Maynor

I’m so fucken nervous and I swear if im voted out second. Ugh. Jack can go home. Like i did nothing to you and you just decide to come for me for no reason? Like wow. Jacks the target and I hope the people ive been talking to and aligned with are telling me the truth cuz it would totally suck if they are lying to me. There is really no reason to take me out who is active instead of jack who isnt active and just barely coming on. Fuuuuuuck me. Im be paranoid the whole fucken day arent I. 

Stephen

So this tribe is kinda dull, so theyve chosen a dull vote. Maynor. I like maynor but he has been a little silent. The big question is: is there a majority alliance out there? The answer is yes, of course there is, there always is. I make my survivor career on not being in majority alliance then tearing them apart when the tea gets spilled. See: Tashirojima.

Jack

Made a bit of a conection with Ellie from the other tribe, and she seems pretty open to working together if we make it to the merge or if theres a tibe swap

Raffy

I am happy that we do not have to go to tribal. It allows me to be more social with people on my tribe without the threat of a vote looming over our heads. 

Justin

This round was a lot more chill. Mostly cuz we won immunity, but I'm still keeping my relations with everyone good. I realized this round that Cormac, whom I have been talking to since last round, is on the other tribe lol. Luckily, I didn't tell him any compromising information, and now I have a connection to the other tribe. Plus, Keith from the other tribe reached out to me and we had a really good conversation. I like him a lot and I see myself working with him in a swap or merge. He is from Pakistan so he is also in the eastern hemisphere as well as Stephen. So, I was thinking I could possibly make an Old World alliance because we are closer to each other in times. However, Cormac has told me that his tribe is most likely voting out Stephen so that won't work out. I would say the only alliance I have so far is with Cormac, so I need to make something official with a player in my tribe before other people get them. Specifically, I want to ask Timmy to be in an alliance. 

Maynor

Today has been really quiet. I really hope the people telling me im good are telling the truth. I hope my connections are strong enough to let me survive this first round. Im so nervous and ugh i hate this feeling. Id be extremely sad if I go over an inactive. 

Raffy

Truly. Honestly. I'm so lazy. I don't want to do the idol hunt lmao

Jack

I can't remember if i already did a confessional about this but in case i didn't: Ellie and i chatted a bit and she seems open to working together later in the game and Cormac seems down with that plan too. Idk if i cant /trust/ Raffy but he also seems cool too

Ellie

So I feel like Raffy is a tiny bit annoyed with me sometimes cause I do share a lot, but I will not be a little tea pot this time. Raffy and I talk strategy all the time and he’s my closest ally but it honestly feels like I barely know him while my other close ally, Dylan, I have bonded with a lot and know a lot about them while still strategizing with them. It’s weird but I’m not going to push. He told me to stop talking about past games, and I’m like ? If I don’t mention you we’ll be chill

Ellie

Also we bonded with jack 👀

Maynor

Tonight, i may be leaving. Ill just be really sad. Mad at first cuz i tried my hardest in first immunity and then someone decides to mess up in the 2nd if by accident or on purpose. Mostly ill be sad cuz i wont be able to play with Timmy. I finally got to retalking with dylan and really miss them. Mostly ill be sad cuz let jay down for giving me a 3rd chance after my performance in rotuma. Ily Jay. Hopefully i stay. ❤️❤️❤️

Dylan C

I have to choose whether or not to do a part of the idol hunt where if I do it, I risk losing my vote at the next tribal I attend, and if I don't do it then I start the idol hunt over. Heck. I'll probably do it tbh.

Maynor messaged me a few minutes ago to say that he thinks he's getting voted out tonight, and that he enjoyed talking to me again. I don't want to see him go, in part bc I wanted to try to ally with him at some point and also just because I like him. Also I don't know what's going on on the other tribe but? Y'all are gonna vote out the guy who held a cup over his head for over two hours for your tribe? Smh

Jack

I really like Dylan C's vibe. Imma PM them later some more and see if that's a thing

Sierra

The vote switched when Jack started getting paranoid — his name wasn’t even coming up until he started asking everyone if they were SURE that they were down with the plan. It felt really awkward to have to reiterate over and over again that we were on his side... and it made it difficult to believe that HE was really with US. I’m really grateful that Stephen gets to stay around for another few days!

Dylan R

Ok so I did all of the puzzles for the idol hunt & then I FLOPPED on the challenge so: I have my clown outfit on. 

I’m trying to make friends but it’s hard 🥺 I think if we go to tribal Joseph will go before be but I got some serious catch up to do if I wanna win 

John

i know keith was originally our fifth, but i’m kinda wanting to work with maynor the more i talk to him. i want a fifth that will side with me if needed. and idk if keith could be that fifth that would benefit ME. it’s also just a thought. not tied to the idea yet. stay tuned kids.

cormac marek

Alrighty very eventful times leading up to our first tribal. I have been involved in like 13 alliance chats. Me and Zoe had an hour call last night on how she found an advantage to be kept between the two of us. It was amazing! Keith seems on board for anything. He has a "as long as its not me" gameplay. The core worm alliance was going to vote out Stephen but switched it to Jack after he became insane. It was sad because we were going to include Jack in on the deals. Maynor was told that Jack was gunning for him so that's a vote for Chaos Kass. If all goes smooth it will be unanimous. Stephen asked me right before tribal and I told him Jack was gunning for him and that majority was going for him. Hopefully this means he will be with us. It is really tricky. Let's see how the blood rolls

Joseph Collins

Patiently waiting on next immunityyyyyyy. 

Timmy

Jack is trying to get maynor out...so jack can go.

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC: Thank Meenah

Yesterday at 5:07 PM

caepaecaesurae WVe'vwe split, and the safe-house wvon't be needed anymore, on my end at least.  I'vwe left a small thank you present on the kitchen counter. I'd be in your debt if you could wvipe the coordinates used off of the pad's history list, if and wvhen convwenient. Thank you again, and havwe a nice night.

Yesterday at 9:38 PM

brackishbarracuda yeah i can do that isle head over in an hour oar so brackishbarracuda s good to sea u caepaecaesurae Good to see you too.  I appreciate the neutrality and the assistance. Havwing somewvhere empty to go helped more than once.

Today at 12:13 AM

brackishbarracuda ive been fused before an efin when its ppl u give a shit aboat its hard so i mean some place where u didnt have any extra ppl shoutin at u seemed pike a good idea to me caepaecaesurae It wvas. Did you separate from wvhomevwer it wvas peaceably?  Or vwia incompatibility? brackishbarracuda peaceably for both thankfully one was def a hell of a lot rockier than the other one tho aight the best puns are the ones u didnt mean to make i cannaut believe caepaecaesurae I do enjoy those ones. brackishbarracuda did u ever get hit w the gem thing caepaecaesurae As I am lost, it seems I did not. brackishbarracuda lemme find u a picture for full effect aight bc shit is stupid and mine was pike stupid times two brackishbarracuda http://imgur.com/sPQFO8t there we go rly tho how tf puts that shit on ur foot caepaecaesurae WVhat is that? brackishbarracuda aight so theres the weird sentient rock aliens who p much project around w/e rock they are an they do the fuse thing on purpose pike thats a thing they can do and a bunch a ppl got hit w it a while back usually shits pike on ur hand or ur forhead oar ur arm or somefin but no brackishbarracuda nah it was on my cod damn foot caepaecaesurae First I'vwe heard about them. ... You havwe my sympathies. WVhy the foot? brackishbarracuda idk i do naut fuckin no thats just where it was when i got got caepaecaesurae I imagine you sawv the tittastrophe wve had? brackishbarracuda yeah brackishbarracuda yeah that shore was somefin i saw w my own two eyes brackishbarracuda howd that whole thing go efin caepaecaesurae It looked rather like wve wvere split dowvn the middle vwertically in a lot of respects. The side wvith no breast had short hair like mine. WVe made a falsie so clothes wvould fit. brackishbarracuda now sea i woulda just said fuck it and done the whole half clothes shit pike jacket on one and dress on the other deal caepaecaesurae tsk.  I should'vwe talked to you more, that'd be a hell of a look. brackishbarracuda i mean u aint gotta b fused to pull it off right caepaecaesurae True.  It wvould complete the look though. caepaecaesurae I may try a half-and-half garment of some sort soon. brackishbarracuda plz take pictures i need this shit caepaecaesurae I do lovwe my selfie tag. brackishbarracuda s cause its good shit caepaecaesurae Howv do you feel about breasted, marginally nsfwv pictures of me? brackishbarracuda im down caepaecaesurae http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/130431613390/speaking-of-anons-d brackishbarracuda v nice dam tho where tf did u get half those scars brackishbarracuda impressive caepaecaesurae I don't normally showv much skin. The large round ones on the legs are from an air battle invwolvwing laser cannons, during the game. brackishbarracuda uh first off fuckin ow caepaecaesurae Pff. Yes, but wve wvon. brackishbarracuda secondly i get it if u aint comfy w it oar w/e but u ought show more a it imo and that right theres why caepaecaesurae A good half of the scars you see there are from my first century on Alternia. ...at the end of wvhich, I began wvearing neck to wvrist to ankle bodyarmor, of the sort contained in that package.  Havwe you stopped by that hivwe yet, by the by? brackishbarracuda shit yeah i did i thought id said thank u btw caepaecaesurae You may havwe, I'm scattered lately. brackishbarracuda pike seariously i aint been in a searious scrape in a while but pike dam i cant get away from nofin w/o bleedin it feels like caepaecaesurae Armor that no one knowvs you're wvearing can be a wvonderful game changer. It turns a knife in the ribs into an invwitation to play. brackishbarracuda as much as i like it and the apron tbh shit is nice brackishbarracuda u probably made clams night more than mine w the armor caepaecaesurae I hope it servwes wvell, or entertains.  Or that the flavwor vwials do. brackishbarracuda hes the one whos gotta stitch me up half the tide caepaecaesurae A good role for a quadrant. If you elect to wvear the vwest, at least he'll only be stitching up limbs. brackishbarracuda lmao yeah fair also i should punch u in the nose for the fuckin shit u sent me pike it was so good that it legit made me mad how tf caepaecaesurae ... Hope player.  "Beyond belief" is my playground. brackishbarracuda throws my dam hands caepaecaesurae I can make things that I can imagine.  Cae*fora* made things that *She* could imagine. brackishbarracuda shit is fucked up caepaecaesurae A bit.  ... I usually try to make things that are slightly less... Intense... than that... I hope it wvasn't too much? brackishbarracuda isle survive but my tongue aint gonna b  happy w anyfin ever again this is me jokin mostly i aint upset at u oar anyfin caepaecaesurae ..Still, pardon. brackishbarracuda s aight cae ur good brackishbarracuda seariously tho why aint u show off ur scars more 38? caepaecaesurae Enough of them havwe unfortunate sources for it to be uncomfortable wvhen specific ones are indicated and remarked on, much of the time. caepaecaesurae ... Mostly, I don't like taking my armor off, evwer. I'vwe been getting better at removwing it long enough for selfies though. brackishbarracuda well dam the one u just showed me took some fuckin guts then didnt it caepaecaesurae Heh.  It wvas taken during a period of amnesia wvhere I didn't remember wvhere most of them wvere from. brackishbarracuda do u think u could do it again caepaecaesurae Possibly, though I think my selfie tag could use more less sexual things. brackishbarracuda u oughta take a pic w arlequin oar somefin then how tall efin are u btw pike are u taller than he is oar shorter or caepaecaesurae I'm a good foot and a half shorter than him, last I checked. brackishbarracuda well that makes me feel beta at least caepaecaesurae My adult height in sevweral centuries ought to be near wvhere he is nowv. brackishbarracuda yall are entirely too fuckin tall u kno that caepaecaesurae So I hear. If it makes you feel any better, all the humans top out somewvhere in the six or sevwen range I think.  They all look somewvhere betwveen fivwe and six nowv. The carapacians are a foot or twvo belowv that. brackishbarracuda pike im saury i realize u probably hear that alot but i am half a arlequins now hight an he was talkin pike sixteen feet an im overe here pike dude ur gonna b over three times my size how tf is that gonna efin work caepaecaesurae Carefully and wvith gusto. brackishbarracuda aight tru tho caepaecaesurae Havwe you evwer done the thing wvhere you rest hip to hip wvith a partner and pretend theirs is yours and marvwel at the difference? Some trolls enjoy that. I think that one wvill only improvwe as he ages, for you. caepaecaesurae "Look wvhat I'm packing nowv" brackishbarracuda i havent and now im kinda wonderin wtf ive been doin w my life caepaecaesurae You're wvelcome. .. Then again I'vwe used googly eyes in the bedroom before, so maybe my advwice isn't the best. brackishbarracuda bouy nah fuck that im gonna get a pack and use em on dirk that shit is perf caepaecaesurae My partner grewv annoyed and ripped them off, wvhich is honestly all I could hope for. brackishbarracuda tbh hell probably laugh till he cries which i count as a win brackishbarracuda but yeah tbh rippin em off sounds pike a good idea brackishbarracuda u kno me an u oughtta hang out sometide caepaecaesurae WVe should, I imagine wve'd get into heaps of trouble if any wvas avwailable. brackishbarracuda trouble is kinda my thing yeah brackishbarracuda i eel pike youd enjoy some trouble caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, maybe.  It's been a wvhile, and I might be a bit more boring nowv. Nice things, good stories, and good laughs?  Those are dear to heart. brackishbarracuda now sea mr suns out guns out tenta tattoo false boob ampora w the hella scars i aint believe you wouldnt enjoy a little trouble caepaecaesurae I'vwe had a vwery interesting life. I'm relearning howv to enjoy trouble. brackishbarracuda isle sea if i cant think of some baby trouble steps caepaecaesurae Sounds like a treat to me. caepaecaesurae Let me knowv sometime, alright? brackishbarracuda yeah def at the v least ur fun to talk to and anybody i can b a bad influence on is aight by me u feel caepaecaesurae Aye, I hear you It'd be nice to lean back in that direction somenight.  I'vwe been sitting around drinking tea a wvhile. brackishbarracuda s easy to get restless i aint efin alternian and sometides i just need to move and tear into somefin before that somefin becomes me caepaecaesurae Aye. ...I sail a ship around sometimes.  Transport pads to get back to hivwe often. Plenty of wvild lands out there to explore. brackishbarracuda theres plenty a world here to sea if u ever decide u wanna we aint managed a drone yet be in a week oar so probably caepaecaesurae The mile-high deer?  Aye I'vwe a curiosity. I'm relievwed that you're considering the drone. brackishbarracuda im uh considerin more than the drone tbh caepaecaesurae Aye? brackishbarracuda been thinkin a puttin my crown on and meanin it caepaecaesurae Lacking in context, I'm imagining you calling yourself queen of a single hivwe surrounded by largish deer. brackishbarracuda i mean in all technicality i earned the fuckin thing i blew up my planet i killed the empress so by right etc etc blah blah blah i just been runnin from it since brackishbarracuda no u aint wrong i gotta start somwhere fuckin ridiculous as it is if they aint anybody else on the planet isle take it theres a small frozen planet my ex red left me so thats two off the bat ig caepaecaesurae If there's no one else it seems a bit... abrupt. Then again, givwen a single wvorking mothergrub, one is nevwer far from an empire. I suspect Arlequin wvould havwe mixed feelings. brackishbarracuda ive convinced my spade to let me sit w em and do some political diplomatic shit and i aint lookin to be a bloody conquerer im just lookin to stop runnin from what i was hatched for mayb do some decent shit w whatever authority i got somefin betta than home was anyway caepaecaesurae I wvish you luck wvith it if you do. brackishbarracuda thanks 38/ caepaecaesurae It's hard to get in trouble wvhen you're in charge. brackishbarracuda why u gotta do me like this caepaecaesurae WVell... Ask Tyfora howv much fun her powver is. brackishbarracuda id rather naut caepaecaesurae Ask Arlequin howv much he wvants to strivwe for a newv flag -- at least, this early. brackishbarracuda i oughta talk to him aboat it tho yeah caepaecaesurae Powver is complicated.  That's all. caepaecaesurae More so than you might be preparing yourself for. brackishbarracuda i aint trynna rush into anyfin aight an isle talk to arlequin i kno shit aint easy it aint somefin im thinkin aboat lightly caepaecaesurae Then I wvish you luck.  I'm cautious about swvearing loyalties lightly, but you'll likely havwe me on call if emergencies strike. brackishbarracuda i dont take that lightly either cae thank u i afishiate it caepaecaesurae WVe'll see wvhat comes.  I'm afraid it's late though.  Another night? brackishbarracuda a course thanks for talkin at me caepaecaesurae Looking forwvard to it.  Rest wvell wvhen you go. brackishbarracuda yeah sleep good

[judithsears]

2017 - Great year.

I went to Cuba in April. I swam in turquoise waters for the first time and cried like a baby. Snorkeled in the ocean, danced and ate with the locals, squished giant cockroaches and lived in paradise for 8 glorious days.

I went to Italy in July with my mom. Visited Mestre, Venice, La Spezia, Portovenere, Cinque Terre, Florence and Rome. I ate pizza, pasta and drank prosecco. Swam in the Mediterranean sea with the fish, saw the sun set at the top of piazza di michelangelo, hiked the eastern coast between the towns or Corniglia and Vernazza. It was incredible. I spent one day alone, a complete stranger in a village. Anonymous, and alone, eating gelato at the top of a mountain, sweating in 42 degree heat, looking down onto a marina on the ocean.

I completed my second season of rowing.

I learned how to throw ceramics on the wheel and made several mugs and bowls.

Continued working on my body and my self.

Watched Third Eye Blind play Semi Charmed Kind of Life, live, outdoors, at sunset overlooking the water in upper New York.

My nephew was born in January. He is perfect. And I love him.

I tried desperately to expand my friend-base. It has proved very difficult between the weddings, babies, schedules, careers, money, etc...But I made some genuine connections with some really great people and feel pretty fortunate for it.

HIGH FIVE 2017.

What do I want to do in 2018? I was doing aquafit the other day, floating in the pool with one of the aforementioned friends, and we talked about what goals we have for the new year...

-TRAVEL AGAIN.

-Build and nurture friendships and put myself out there. Stop standing in my own way and hang out with people.

-ROW.

-See my ladies club - S.W.I.S. - come to fruition.

-FITNESS.

-Work on my hobbies in the evenings after work rather than just sit on my ass and be lazy. I’d like to do things that feel good, make me happy and allow a feeling of accomplishment at the end. (ie. sewing, painting, etc...)

-Make my GRL PWR show a reality.

-GET THEM ABS.

2016 A YEAR IN REVIEW

I’m welcoming in 2017 with open arms. I’ve turned 30 and am trying to figure out how to be happy and to better my life. Here are my goals for 2017:

*Travel. I want to go to Italy and go hiking in BC. (I DID IT. I FINALLY WENT TO ITALY.)

*Create less waste. Less packaging. Find a way to compost.

*Eat slower (like my dad) and enjoy my food (and wine) more. (FAIL)

*Take more pictures. (MEGA FAIL)

*Sew wearable clothes. (NO)

*Take a pottery course/workshop. (YES! SUCCESS!)

*Continue rowing. (YES. V GOOD.)

*Continue at my job and maybe grow into a new, higher position or role to gain experience. (KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE RIGHT NOW)

*Continue my quest for good health - physical and mental. Which means eating well, eating whole foods, less sugar, salt and fat and exercising regularly. (YES)

*Continue growing food on my balcony and using it in my cooking. (50/50)

*Travel. (CUBA)

*Travel. (ITALY)

*Travel. (SYRACUSE)

Lets see how I did at my 2016 list….

- Sew something new. Clothing. T-shirts. Dresses. Anything. (No. BUT I did pick up a pattern. I guess that doesn’t count though.)

- Be kind for pete’s sake! Drop the attitude. (No. Attitude is as fiery as ever.)

- Be more accepting of others and everyone’s little imperfections! ( I tried.)

- Complain less. Appreciate more. (Yes, I tried.)

- Work out more. It wasn’t until I hurt my knee that I realized there are other things you can do with your body that are (almost) as challenging and as rewarding as running. (I’ve completed Kayla Itsines full 24 week guide this year.)

- Get them abs. I want to see and earn my muscle tone and definition. (Photos to come soon.)

- Travel somewhere new. (I think the only place I really went this year was Syracuse, NY)

- Grow something new and edible. Grow more edible things! (My whole balcony was food this summer! Kale, kale and more kale. Tomatoes. Basil. Etc.)

- Drink more water. (Nay.)

- Cook new things and try new foods!!! I love food. (Yes. Success.)

- Love more. (Yes.)

- Beat this awful and miserable fear of flying. (Nay. I think it may have gotten worse actually. haha.)

2016. It’s coming to an end. Everyone is going on and on about how much it sucked. I thought it was alright.

I think the really defining piece of my year was moving into a new job. That all my hard work and time and emotional exhaustion paid off in one way or another and I am now supervising the program I started off in. I may not be teaching, but I’m happy.

I began rowing. I was on a team this summer with 7 other rowers and we learned and raced and drank together. It was amazing. Terrifying but amazing. Along with that, I started doing yoga at the boat house, overlooking the Ottawa river. Pretty amazing.

Went to Syracuse, NY for an amazing, incredible, spontaneous weekend to see Rob Thomas and Counting Crows at a beautiful, magical outdoor amphitheatre.

I turned 30. And my best friend and boyfriend orchestrated the more surprising surprise party, and it was so fun and memorable.

I donated my hair for the SECOND TIME! I love doing this. But somehow after turning 30, my hair is incredibly thin now and worrying me so it may not happen again! Hah.

I had an amazing time at the cottage this summer with my best friend. I visited the cottage I grew up at every summer, rode the boat I caught my first fish in, swam in the lake I learned to swim in and roasted marshmallows in the same spot I roasted marshmallows in when I was 5 years old. That weekend meant a lot to me.

So I think I did alright.

2015! A YEAR IN REVIEW

Its that time again!

we are, another new year. It feels a little lack luster right now, but at the same time - I don’t mind. I feel kind of, at peace, I suppose! Content. And I think that is okay! The New Year right now, doesn’t seem all that scary and it doesn’t need to be a BIG SHA-BANG! I feel peaceful and happy and I’m going to roll with it! Also to be noted - I have to say I really thought my new years kiss was so sweet and tender, and maybe thats why I feel this way! I’ll take it. Anyways - what can I knock off my list of things to do in 2015, what did I achieve?

THINGS TO DO IN 2015?

- Be kinder. Do things more selflessly. Do things for people without expectations of getting anything in return. (I’m going to say I was about 60/40 on this one. I think I definitely took strides, but its hard when you begin to feel used. We’ll work on this one.)

- Concentrate on what is RIGHT or what is GOING RIGHT. In life, in my job, career path, etc. (Yes - I think I did this to the best of my ability! Love my job, my home, my friends, etc.)

- Complain less. About everything/anything. (No - definitely need to work on this.)

- Eat clean, whole foods. Less salt, less sugar, less fat. Eat whole ingredients and whole foods. (YEA YEAAH)

- Love more, accept more. (hmmm I’d say.)

- Paint more. (Nay, Nay)

- Sew something wearable. Sew another quilt (#4) (Sewed two more quilts, need to up the game on the SS Fashion Line for 2016)

- Make the best out of any bad situations. (I’d say.)

- Fitness. Find some way to correct my knee problem and work on being the fittest I can be. (Knee is still fucked. Body is reasonably fit. Feeling pretty good!)

- Get on the supply list. (Nay Nay - I think my career path may take a slight sliiiight detour.)

What would I like to achieve in 2016!?

- Sew something new. Clothing. T-shirts. Dresses. Anything.

- Be kind for pete’s sake! Drop the attitude.

- Be more accepting of others and everyone’s little imperfections!

- Complain less. Appreciate more.

- Work out more. It wasn’t until I hurt my knee that I realized there are other things you can do with your body that are (almost) as challenging and as rewarding as running.

- Get them abs. I want to see and earn my muscle tone and definition.

- Travel somewhere new.

- Grow something new and edible. Grow more edible things!

- Drink more water.

- Cook new things and try new foods!!! I love food.

- Love more.

- Beat this awful and miserable fear of flying.

Well.. I’ll continue coasting for now on my wave. Work is good and could open up some doors to a career detour. Love is good. My man human is amazing and as sweet as sugar. I saw a few new places this past year. Met a few new people. Made a few new things. Close friends got closer. My family is amazing and they love me so much - and I am so grateful for that. Missing some old friends, gained a few new ones. And I’m not sure what else to say - so on that note! Peace out 2015, its been a pizza-slice.

2014 - well, well, well, we’ve come to an end.

Am I sad to see you go? No, not really. You gave me a lot of great opportunities a TON of new experiences. You’ve given me a lot of exceptional moments, good times, good friends and good memories. I’ve become a lot closer with some of my favourite people and shared a lot of cool memories. Could we improve for next year however? Of course.

So what did I accomplish from my MUST DO list of 2014?

WELL - lets see…

2014

-Get on the supply list (I’ve supply taught, but I’m not on the list JUST yet..)

-Cook more natural foods (YEA GIRL YEA)

-Read more books (#1 on the list, Wheat Belly) (I think I read 3, but that might be a record?)

-Continue running (and working on my self) (My knee is busted, so no… )

-Help people more - without the expectation of anything in return (Check.)

-Meet more people (Check)

-Play more music, write more music, play more shows (nope)

-Paint, quilt, sew - be more creative (painted and sewed another quilt)

-Love more, accept more, understand give & take more (Check.)

Not too bad. I feel like I’m in a good place. I’m content and believe I’m on a path of success. My job is good, and my co-workers are fun and keep me motivated. The kids I get to hang out with make me laugh and challenge me every day. I’m always learning how to plan better, how to be more patient, be more engaging and to listen and communicate. Kids are weird, but the hilarious stuff I hear them say always makes each day bareable when all I wanna do it be a lazy pile on the couch.

My best friends are amazing. My favourite human is amazing and he lifts me up and lets me depend on him for anything, and I know he’ll still accept me with open arms at the end of the day no matter what. Life is good and for now, I’ll just keep rolling along into the new year. I’m pretty interested to see what its going to hold for me.

THINGS TO DO IN 2015?

- Be kinder. Do things more selflessly. Do things for people without expectations of getting anything in return.

- Concentrate on what is RIGHT or what is GOING RIGHT. In life, in my job, career path, etc.

- Complain less. About everything/anything.

- Eat clean, whole foods. Less salt, less sugar, less fat. Eat whole ingredients and whole foods.

- Love more, accept more.

- Paint more.

- Sew something wearable. Sew another quilt (#4)

- Make the best out of any bad situations.

- Fitness. Find some way to correct my knee problem and work on being the fittest I can be.

- Get on the supply list.

2014

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

So what do I need to accomplish in 2014…

-Get on the supply list (I’ve supply taught, but I’m not on the list JUST yet..)

-Cook more natural foods (YEA GIRL YEA)

-Read more books (#1 on the list, Wheat Belly) (I think I read 3, but that might be a record?)

-Continue running (and working on my self) (My knee is busted, so no… )

-Help people more - without the expectation of anything in return (Check.)

-Meet more people (Check)

-Play more music, write more music, play more shows (nope)

-Paint, quilt, sew - be more creative (painted and sewed another quilt)

-Love more, accept more, understand give & take more (Check.)

2013

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

I’ve been working on my list of New Years Resolutions and things to accomplish in 2013.

Here goes…

*Get a job in my feild - or at the very least take a leap in the right direction. (CHECK. *pats self on back*)

*Paint more. (Does water colour count?)

*Run more. (Check.)

*Meet new people - whether through the internet, group meet-ups, through other friends or mentors, just meet people. (favourite new friends of 2013 awards coming soon.)

*Continue my clean eating quest. The more natural the better. (December has been rough on that front - but the rest of the year has been top notch)

*Buy less. Narrow down my possessions. (I am a notorious self proclaimed “thing-hater”. If I can do without it, I will find away to make due without it.)

*Run a half marathon - which may require me to buy new running shoes. (Didn’t happen… but I did go through 3 months of physiotherapy and therapy-ed my self back to running again)

*Volunteer at Ottawa School of Art - again. (CHECK.)

*Grow plants or vegetables. (Two live plants, thriving in my apartment presently. Tomatoes next?)

*Maintain my pledge to never work another Christmas in retail. (SUCCESS! I spent boxing day laying on my couch. Win win win!)

2012

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

Things to do in 2012…

*Tattoo (before Sept. 11th). (Didn’t happen.)

*Record that EP I’ve been meaning to record. (Didn’t happen.)

*Make a [shitty] music video. (Didn’t happen.)

*Sell some art work. (Check!)

*Finish my quilt. (Double check!)

*Paint more. (Check!)

*Find a shitty job to get me through the winter and then a sweet job for later. (Hmmm - well I didn’t work a lick last winter, but I managed to get an assistant manager position in a shitty shit shoe store selling over priced leather shoes to annoying Europeans.)

*Cook more diverse and delicious food. (Duh, check! Clean eating!)

*Drink more wine. (Check, obviously.)

*Visit Alex in Berlin. (Didn’t happen.)

*Be more spontaneous. (Check. Summer of YES happened.)

*Be a lady. (Hmm, Summer of YES may have gotten in the way of that.)

*Be more creative. (Somewhat check?)

*Design and sew a piece of wearable clothing. (Didn’t happen.)

So not so bad! It could of been worse. So what did I do this year?

*Got my second degree.

*Had my first solo art show and sold art work.

*Wrote A LOT of music. Basically an entire new catalog of songs.

*Moved out of my long time apartment on Somerset and made some big changes in my life.

*Started running, trained for a 10km, ran a 10km run.

*Moved from Somerset to High Street to Lisgar to Frank to Lisgar.

*Summer of YES.

*Endured the most difficult and traumatic ordeal I’ve ever experienced in my life to date. Which has effected me long term mentally and physically.

*Rode a motorcycle for the first time. Many times. Best time - to the top of Champlain Lookout in Gatineau

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 2 “Let Me Go Get Some Pants On” Junior

So Mist was the first boot, and I'm sittin here just thanking god that it wasn't me.  Now to slay only 24 other fools!

So that first round was SO MUCH FUN! So much happened and I love and adore each and every one of my tribemate <3 <3 oh fuck I'm not a hero Honestly, these people are very hard to talk to and everything feels forced, but thanks to Jonathan calling out Kage for his creepy stalking antics, I think I've made a new friend! Because all friendships are founded on hate for another person! <3 now im just hoping junior doesnt mcfuck up so that I get another day of relaxation

okay so everything is going well, I heckin love my mini alliance with Linus, Kage, Alex and Tommy. I mean I talk more to Alex and Kage but this alliance is cute and I am glad to be part of something so soon in the game. Hopefully this works out. Anyways, rn Junior and some Ashton guy are seeing how long they can stand. Will this challenge take 72 hours? Possibly. Do I believe in Junior? Of heckin course. 

So I am not the first honorary 26th placer or TS! However, I'm mad because we voted out a potential ally in Mist and it's all because Alex Crooks is being... himself. Like I'm starting to like him yeah but he's being too controlling over things. He got the Malaysians together with the Solomons minus Steffen but like. Why vote out Mist? I'm just getting a little frustrated because Pippa and Alex are like, becoming this horrifying power couple thing since they're both theater nerds and I'm like! Pippa! Game now dick later! If those 2 continue to control things then Crooks gotta go. Sorry Peepo <3 Anyway Ashton did THAT for us in this duels of duality thing so yay Ashton. I wanna keep him around as a number for myself so this is good, and now the lowest I can officially get is 24th :~) I just need Steffen out of here. But now Isaac is saying he would like Drew out more just because Steffen trusted him with the whole extra vote and I'm like okay? Whom care? He might trust you but this is what Steffen does every game. People just say oh we'll get him next time. Oh we'll get him next time. Oh we'll get him next time UNTIL it's like 10 more rounds in and then he fucks you over. So I'm not having it! Maybe I can plant little anti-Steffen seeds in people like Ashton, Trace, and Dom. Maybe Ruthie too depending on how close we think she is to Steffen. I just want to take the people out that I think will benefit me in the long run. And yes one of those people will be Drew, but I realize I'm being a hypocrite because Drew does the same thing Steffen does but right now we have a majority alliance with Drew so taking out Steffen over a number that will potentially hurt us if taken out seems like the better plan to me. Just.....saying...........

ASHTON I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU! FROM BEING FIRST VOTED OUT TO SURVIVING THE FIRST VOTE TO CARRYING THE WHOLE TEAM TO IMMUNITY!!! Honestly, working with Ashton is one of my #1 goals in this game, and I'm happy we're safe, so I don't have to worry about tribal, especially considering tomorrow would've been a pretty tough day for me to worry about it. 

As for the twist, I don't think this twist is going to go on for TOO long, but if it does, and we merge without a tribe swap, I'd be shocked, but I feel that won't be the case, and I should be off of this tribe sooner rather than later to start making more connections and dominating more motherfuckers. :)

On 8/29/17, at 9:42 AM, Steffen Bøhn wrote: > so we had to pick a leader to rep the heroes tribe, I know I didn’t want to do it, so I suggested picking a name out of my cup, so I ripped up 3 papers and put the heroes names on it, but I ripped 1 paper smaller than the others and put Ashton’s name on it, so once it was mixed in I could tell which was his when I picked it

https://youtu.be/SQbfbMWJD4U

Are these people gonna vote out Brian over Pat? Like.... really? Pat has deadass done NOTHING this game so far. We are six days in and he has yet to send a single message to me or a good half of the villains tribe. Yet somehow Brian is a better person to boot over Pat. I'm like extra upset because I actually REALLY like Brian and I don't want him to go, but I also know that it's not my place to try and swing the vote the other way. If Pat stays, it's only going to make the silence more awkward. I don't need him here. He does nothing to benefit my game. Brian has been a friend to me ever since this game began. It's sad. Maybe it'll be for the better, but I knew I was gonna have to rely on making new friends to last in this game :/ having to vote one of them out this early is gonna suuuuck.

 welp junior just said it's Brian so may as well prepare to be up junior's ass all season since we're following his lead already. I'm fucking mad about life, mad I couldn't search for an idol for six whole days, mad that I'm losing the only person I fucking LIKED so far....... but I guess we have to look at the bigger picture. just bc I'm losing Brian doesn't mean that I don't have friends. I still have gotten close to Alex and Jonathan (who just messaged me "I'd rather do pat!!!!") (Aka I can go get fucked at this point) and I guess Kage and Junior, too. I'm all for blindsides. But I HATE having to vote out Brian. Sorry Zack :/

If anybody's having flashbacks to Arabia that's totally justified. So in a Skype call this morning, the alliance of five eventually, after much dilly-dallying, decided to target Pat. Wait, what?  They picked Brian?  What the fuck? That's...okay, fine.  We're targeting Brian.  Not Pat.  Who sucks.  Brian.  Who doesn't. Obviously I don't love this.  And on the one hand goddammit I SHOULD go for this. Buuuuuuuuuuut What if....I didn't What if......I didn't like how Kage was pitching secretly to split the votes between Pat and Brian and what if I didn't like that Kage gave Brian a bad location to search for the Idol and what if......I voted for Pat instead Hmm.  Thoughts. We'll see what happens.  There's still 90 minutes to go.  Anything could happen!

So after the awkwardness passed that we have to go to tribal, people gradually started to open the game talks and ultimately, although there was a minor conflict between Kage and Jonathan, the two targets seem to settle on Brian and Pat for their lack of social presence thus far And then someone along the way decided that it would be Brian leaving so it seemed to be going his direction but like.....I don't want to vote him? And I think others feel the same? So I started to voice that opinion to people (which was risky and maybe a mistake but i ain't scared) and it seems the tide might be turning (or already had turned and I just jumped on eagerly). If this vote goes against Pat instead of Brian I'll feel MUCH better...but I am putting myself out there by doing this and these are big villains so there might be another plot in the making...... sorry but I love my bf by proxy (thx Zack for donating him this season!) and I don't want to vote him out.....

earlier today i went to tommy bc i know he has connections and i wanted to plant the seed that me being here is in his own best interest so i was like look we're both the only winners here if one of us leaves the other is an automatic target and thats true.. but then cut to 5 hours later and this vote is a mess and i'm pissed bc i wasnt a part of ANY planning conversations about this vote so clearly thats a red flag! i've only been told second hand from people what "people" are saying and "i heard....." when its not like these things just come out of nowhere conversations were had and people came together to make these plans and throw out names of brian and pat and i wasnt a part of any of them so i hate everyone!! anyway tommy wants to vote out brian and i was like eh whatever ill do anything but then i start talking to other people and apparently more people are voting out pat??? idk the truth bc i dont have the relationships with people on this tribe to like know the full tea but it seems like more people are voting out pat right now so tommys asking me what im doing and im like look dude i think i might vote out pat and now tommys guilt tripping me [8/29/17, 8:27:55 PM] Tommy Shallow: :'( [8/29/17, 8:28:48 PM] Tommy Shallow: but I thought we were going to be in an alliance together lmao its kinda funny ahahahah anyway idk whats happening personally i think brian leaving would be better because we have gone against eachother in a couple games and i know hes close with steffen so he has connections on the other side vs pat the flop but on the other hand pat hasnt talked to me at all and if i vote with brian maybe that will be like hey we cool and im in the majority bc thats all i care about i just want to lay low but somehow im like caught in the middle bc people want me to do something even though it seems like the votes are set in stone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6KpNy00Yjk Second thing

Talking to Andrew about taking out Ruthie next, and I'm already proposing getting us to work with Steffen, which is good, and once I move to getting him to WANT to work with Trace and Dom, I'm almost settled in my ways of getting the people I trust on one side to trust the people I want to work with from the other side. I wouldn't mind staying in these tribes for awhile, because this means that I can take out a lot of people I don't wanna work with, and then once we swap, I know I can trust all the heroes going forward, and I can work on the villains. Divide and conquer man, divide and conquer..... Except I'm not dividing with anyone, it's just myself.

there's a new Jaiden in town... and his name is Kage Hamilton

RIP MY DUMBASS FOR SELF VOTING. Honestly I haven't had wifi all day and I feel bad for accidentally self voting but it doesn't seem like anyone really cares because in the end, Pat still went home. I mean which is good. However, once I came back to the land of the living, Jaiden was telling me about how Kage was basically making things hella stressful like an hour before the vote??? I mean our alliance was hoping to vote Brian so I assume that is what Kage was telling everyone. But apparently they would have none of it because everyone likes Brian. I am starting to think I may need to be careful as to what I say to that alliance, and make sure Kage or any of the other boys get the wrong idea of what I am planning. ALSO WHAT THE HECK, SARAH AND I JUST REALIZED THERE ARE ONLY 5 GIRLS ON THIS SEASON?!?!? LIKE WHAT?!?!! This is basically screaming an all girls alliance, you watch it happen. 

Well I've been majorly slacking with these confessionals lol but iM gonna take it all the way back to grade A robbery. Of course Judging is a subjective thing but idc the judges got it objectively wrong. It was simple, Our flag was there flag wasn't. I've got no idea how we lost that. So instantly my first thought after that is...Fuck me im getting francesca'd. First boot two times that'll be iconic i guess. Nobodies throwing out names until finally a mist crusade begins. I feel terrible for the guy. He just got fucked by moving on the same day. But when is this game ever fair. Mist goes unanimously all things are good. 

Literally minutes after Mist goes we have to get ready for a live challenge and choose 3 people to compete. Since everyone else are adults and i'm a no-life teen obviously I volunteer. The challenge starts we randomly choose our leader and Yay it's me. My enthusiasm dies however when I hear the challenge...Pressure Cooker. FUCK ME NOOOOO. I wasn't ready for this!! but I sucked it up and got in for the long haul. When the briberiea began I started to realize though that thing could be perfect for my game. It shows my loyalty by not accepting any of those fucking awesome advantages. And it shows I have fight for our tribe by standing up there for 2 and a half hours. I was ecstatic when I won and kind of just collapsed cuz my left leg was in a lot of pain. Everyone was co gratulatorio me which was a nice feeling. Basically Things are going great for me rn. My closest allies are Johnny and Tommy at this point i think. 

Kendall thought that Johnny was from India so she tried to rope him into an alliance with her, Alex C, him, and villains Sarah and Ashley. I'm shaking because he told me everything and basically (seemingly) trusts me completely. So my cracked ass tells Isaac everything and how we need to make a move on this and he's like we can't play this way. So I made a chart: http://prntscr.com/gern7w Me making this chart and talking to Isaac about it: https://pics.me.me/te-me-explaining-conspiracy-theories-to-my-friends-3324709.png So I'm gonna fuckin die and just put my explanation into a youtube video yeah