#but that's not to say that i agree with a lot of the criticisms in the tags

[xkittzkornerx]

(long? reply)

i always try to keep in mind that what people label themselves as isn’t always gonna match the stereotypes or biases i have in my head. even if i disagree a lot with what they have to say, i’ve had instances where someone who identifies as a Republican sides with my perspective over fellow Republicans.

humans are far too complex to put in boxes (binaries), but we also are naturally drawn to things that we resonate with. we are social creatures looking for like-minded people who understand. for a lot of us, if we agree with the majority of what a movement or community does/advocates for, and what we disagree with them on isn’t too harmful (the determination of which is subjective), we will then use that label, too, and find our role within that community.

i know for sure i’m not a centrist/libertarian bc my father is a libertarian, and we used to argue ourselves into shouting matches when i was younger. at some point, i gave up trying to change him. we get along a lot better now that we accept the other believes what they believe (luckily we have at least a couple middle ground topics now). i think it fueled my need to better understand demographics different from my own, to try to understand where people were coming from when i opposed their beliefs, how they got there. i went down many rabbit holes all over the political spectrum, eventually deciding that where i thought i landed might have been wrong (i was a liberal). i found myself drawn to leftist spaces. challenged myself. deconstructed a lot of ideologies i was raised with, kept only a few. i didn’t agree blindly to everything and took time to really think about things. i continue to challenge myself/advance my perspective. i genuinely believe many leftists do the same, that people in general do this. we’re just faded out by loud idiots and doom-scrolling.

some people avoid labels altogether, think that it’s too restrictive to voluntarily sign yourself up for and still be considered intelligent. others cling on too tight to labels and enforce them tyrannically. personally, i’m one for a healthy balance. like when you mentioned collectivism—the antonym for that would be individualism. i think both can be okay, but then come in the extremists. all of a sudden a group has to be a hivemind, and the individual must never depend on others, is expected to be selfish, must always strive to be as ‘quirky’ and unique as possible, and above all, must never be ‘basic.’ whatever that means.

when it comes to blame, i avoid turning on my fellow countryfolk. the 1% are the ones with the power (plutocracy). they buy our politicians, create and fuel systematic injustices, and facilitate violations of human rights. they carefully construct the media to meet their propagandist standards. civilians are born into this system. schools don’t teach kids critical thinking. we are convinced as children that *insert demographic(s)* are a threat. sometimes you can be both a victim and an upholder of abuse. 🤷🏼‍♀️

the government (bought by the 1%) curates division so that we are never organized. they want us distracted, pointing fingers at one another, having poor working class people blaming other poor working class people for their misfortunes, bc if we were organized, we could easily defeat them, and that would mean defeating the bourgeoisie. that’s why Luigi unifies so many people across the political spectrum. more are realizing it isn’t right vs left, but up vs down. we’re stronger together, even if we disagree on a lot of things. i mean, i’m queer, and i’m willing to work with homophobes if it means fixing the healthcare system and wealth inequality. it is for the greater good of Americans as a whole, not just ones like me.

we don’t have to be best buds to stand in solidarity, and that is a sentence i would have never been able to comprehend if i was still my liberal 14-year-old self.

i do not want to live in a world where a pathetic, evil loser like OJ Simpson can murder two innocent human beings (one of which was his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, whom he abused their entire marriage), and have all evidence pointing toward him + an audio recording of him confessing to the double-homicide, yet he still escapes life in prison and leads a long, free life… but a modern day Robinhood like Luigi Mangione that (allegedly) popped a monster who made billions off denying people healthcare (killing thousands), can’t also be let free.

seeing the people in power scramble to villainize Luigi and paint him as a danger to society, try to convince us that we should be scared just bc they are? babe, it isn’t working. use your brains. that billionaire shitass was shot IN DEFENSE of us bc he was diabolical. how detached do you have to be to not understand how every day people are not going to be afraid of someone who (allegedly) murdered a billionaire making his wealth off our demises?

[fl3shm4id3n]

ʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜʀᴘʟᴇ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐬, 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴛʜᴀɴᴏꜱ (ᴄʜᴏɪ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢ-ʜʏᴜɴ) x ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ/ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: Squid Game 2 SPOILERS, smoking, slut shaming, criticism from the public, death, blood, Thanos having the hots for reader, reader is kinda based on Megan Thee Stallion.

A/N: I've been listening to Megan Thee Stallion and Doja Cat again, I got some inspiration.

Masterlist

You were know as the infamous rapper 'Cherry' due that signature bright red color you wore all the time. You were at your golden age, everyone loved you. Specially young women your age, probably due because you sang songs about women struggles and anything involving women. Everywhere you went, you got recognized. You asked to take photos, sign pictures and other kinds of merch that your fans had in hand. You didn't mind, you loved your fans. They were the reason you became famous in the first place.

But then, you began to get criticized, according to a much older audience you were vulgar and not very lady like. They also criticized your music and how it was a bad influence to the younger generation. Not to mention your music videos. They criticized those too, simply because you wore very provocative outfits and danced inappropriately. The final straw was when you were spotted smoking cigarettes outside a night club. You got criticized even more. You even got slut shamed for it. You didn't understand the hate you got, you wondered if you were a man, would they still treat you the same?

You began to loose deals, no one really wanted to work with you. Scared about their reputation, you understood their explanation. It just sucked that you couldn't do what you really love. At some point, you had considered in no longer making music. But your fans had encouraged you to keep doing music, some even suggested you move to the States. You thought about it for a while now. Moving to the States wasn't so bad, you knew they weren't as critical as they were here. So you've made up your mind and decided to move to the US. But there was a problem, you barely had any money. That was going to be a problem, and your savings weren't going to cover the expenses. You needed money and needed it fast.

So, here you were. Dressed in a green tracksuit with the number '013'. You were told you'll be playing some games and get a huge amount of cash. There was a lot of people, were they here for the money too? Interesting. You were explained the rules and even signed a consent form and all that. While you were getting escorted to the first game, but first you had to get your picture taken. As you waited in line, you noticed a group of people huddling over a guy with purple hair. You knew right away who it was, it was the one and only Thanos. You were a huge fan of his, you had wanted to do a collaboration with him at some point.

"Omg, is that Cherry?!" Someone said, making everyone in that small group turn to look at you. "It is!" Someone else chimed in. Then they began to try and get you to go over to take a picture. Even Thanos chimed in. "Hey, I don't mind one more person, come on." He encouraged, before you could say anything, the guard came over and had told the group that they couldn't take picture that way, they had to be individual. No matter how much they begged to make an exception. The guard said no, Thanos then told that after the games, he'll take pictures with all of them. They all agreed and processed to get in line to get their pictures taken. When it was your turn, you made sure your hair was descent then processed to do your signature pose. You wondered if you could get your picture printed.

As you continued to walk to the destination of the game. A girl behind you, better known as player 196. "You're Cherry right?" She asked. "The one and only." You responded, she kind of squealed in excitement. "OMG, I always wanted to meet you in person. I've been to every single concert of yours!" She said, you couldn't help but smile and chuckle. "You have?" She asked. "Of course. I love your album RED, I listen to it 24/7." She explained excitedly. "I wish I had my phone so I can take a picture with you. Maybe even follow each other on Instagram." She said, still very excited to be right next to her idol.

Once outside, you and player 196 were still right next to each other. You had a feeling that she'd be stuck with you for the rest of the games, you didn't mind. "Hey, Señorita." You heard someone say behind you. You and player 196 turn to see who it was. It was the one and only Thanos. "Don't you know who I am?" He asked, while walking along side you and 196. "Do we have to?" She asked. "I do. Thanos The Mad Titan." You responded, making Thanos smile. "Das right. We can get to know each other. Tell me about yourself." He said, directly at you. "Are you hitting on me?" You couldn't help but asked. "Oh yeah, he definitely is." 196 said in response.

"In the sea of faces, you caught my eye. My beauty, my flower blooming among weeds." He paused as he sang to catch his breath. "Red, orange, yellow, green. I'm a legend Thanos." He finished as he did his very known pose. You and 196 listened and watched as he continued to small rap. "Look at us in this blue-green. Now give me the green light." He paused, then look directly at you. "I like you!" He said, as he did the heart with his pointer finger and thumb, then wiggled his eye brow at you. You couldn't help but chuckle and feel your face heat up. "Do you even know who she is?" 196 asked. "Of course I do. The one and only Cherry." He said, but then he continued. "'I'd rather be a B.I.T.C.H 'cause that's what you gon' call me when I'm trippin' anyway'. Real Hot Girl Shit, Ah! " He finish his sentence with a quote from one of your songs and your catch phrase, as he then posed just like you did earlier in your picture. Making you chuckle. "I never thought thee Thanos listens to my music." You responded. "Of course I do. I know talent when I see it." He said. "Ya know, red really is your color. That lipstick suits you well." He said confidently. You couldn't help but smile at him.

Then the game rules were explained. It was green light, red light. It should be easy right. Then a guy began to yell and scream on what to do and what not to do. Who even was he. When the game started, he continued to yell and tell everyone not to move. "Freeze! Nobody move!" He yelled. You, Thanos and 196 stood still near each other. "Is he high or what?" 196 asked. "Nope. No one is like that when they're high." Thanos added. "Then he must be drunk or off his meds." You also added. You then heard a small bug fly by. You followed it with your eyes and noticed how it landed right on player 196. "What's that?" She asked, still not moving. "He knows you're a flower. There's a bee on you." Thanos teased. "A bee?!" She then began to freak out an move like crazy. You remained still, just watching her.

She stopped then turn to look at you and Thanos. "Crap, I just moved." She said as she chuckled. Then a gunshot was heard, followed by 196 getting her brains blown and falling right in front of you. Both you and Thanos got splattered in her blood and some brain matter. Even at that, you still remained frozen. Your eyes shifted to look down at her, seen a huge bullet wound on her forehead along with blood. The bee had come back and landed onto her cheek. The man yelled again. "Do not move!" He warned. You were frozen, you just witnessed someone getting shot. You wanted to scream, but you didn't. You feared that if you moved, you'd be next. Then people began screaming and running. Gun shots were heard and people were getting shot. Despite that, you still didn't move. You didn't want to die like this.

For the remainder of the game, you followed the guys instructions. It was obvious that you were scared, but you kept on going. You threw yourself across the finish line. Relieved that you were alive.

Back at the lobby, you were sitting on the floor near your bunk. Still breathing heavily, your hands were shaking. You were also slightly biting your extra long stiletto red nail on your pointer finger, nervously. You felt yourself slightly gag, you then covered your mouth with your hand. Feeling sick. Nothing came out, but your stomach was turning. You didn't even notice Thanos sitting next to you. "You okay?" He asked. You then uncovered your mouth. "I'm good, no worries." You said, still shaky. Thanos noticed and took your hand into his. Giving them small rubs and trying to ease your nerves. His hand were pretty warm and felt very comforting. You were more calm by his small kind gesture.

A bit letter, the same man began to argue with the pink men. Asking about the votes and all that. You weren't focus on any of that, you were more focus on what the hell you jus witnessed. The image of that girl was engraved in your head. You sure needed therapy after this. When the pink showed the amount of money in the piggy bank, your eyes were glued to the clear piggy. Seen that much money all together. Made your worries go away. All that money could help you get to the States and more. When you heard the more eliminated players, more money will be added. Was it bad that you wanted to stay for more? Who care if people will die, they're fucked from the get go. They'd either die here or out there.

When it came to the voting, a lot of people voted to stay. There was arguing with that guy. Claiming he played these games before. But no one really cared, people chose to stay and play. When it was your turn, you pressed O and given the O velcro patch to put on your jacket. When you headed to the O side, Thanos and some guy stood right next to you. "Good choice Señorita." He said with a goofy smile. "I need to the money, so. Either I get it here or I go back home empty handed." You simply said, almost cold. Thanos nodded his head, then wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to him. "Just stick with me, I'll protect you." He said, very confident. He then leaned down and literally licked the blood off your cheek. You groaned, but didn't mind. You couldn't help but chuckle by his action.

"You a freak or something?" You asked, while you wiped the saliva off your cheek with the jacket sleeve. "Baby, I'll be whatever you want me to be." He said, with a smirk while looking directly at you. You couldn't help but slightly bite your red bottom lip. Almost as if you were flirting with him. "I like you, like really like you." He said. "You only just met me today." You added. "Pfft, so? The moment I saw you, I knew I'd like you." He said with a flirtious smile. "Maybe this is fate." You teased. "Ya know, maybe I didn't get all the infinity stones." He said. You raised your brow. "Oh? And why is that?" You asked. "Well, I do have purple, yellow, blue and green. But, there's one missing." He said. "And that one is?" You asked. Thanos then responded. "I just need red. Red is the Reality stone." He said. You tilted your head to side, waiting for him continue. "And Baby, you're my reality." He said with a wink. You couldn't help but roll your eyes and laugh at his corny line. "What? It's true." He said. Maybe being in these life and death games wasn't going to be too bad.

[joejhang]

my unasked-for input in the jeremy discourse

been seeing a lot of jeremy knox discussion as of late while mindlessly scrolling thru the aftg tag so i've decided it's time to step in. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.

the main criticism of jeremy i've seen in the fandom is the way he treats/deals with jean's situation. a lot of people think he's just not doing a good job and can be insensitive or thoughtless at times. i'd like to counter this by saying: he's doing his best, and he's actually doing pretty well.

the aftg fandom at large has this superiority issue where they seem to always know the right thing and the right way to go. i'm gonna remind y'all that we are very used to the foxes and andreil, and the trojans are a totally different environment to the one we've been acclimatised to. the foxes are not well-adjusted AT ALL and to an outsider's eye the way they deal with each other is probably really cruel and rude at times. it works for them because they're in similar positions in life and have no time for politeness and courtesy, and the only way for them to work together is to work out all the fights and issues head-on, with little concern for hurt feelings. it works for them, but that doesn't mean it's the best or only way to go for anyone else.

jeremy may have an untold backstory of his own, but i think we can all agree that he's much more well-adjusted than jean, who has been living in an abusive cult environment for years. the trojans and jeremy are completely unfamiliar to jean, but so is jean to jeremy. jeremy has no idea the full extent of jean's past and history of abuse, so you can imagine his shock and horror when he finally begins to realise the ugly details of what happened to him.

there's a lot of emphasis on action and reaction in the way the fandom sees characters and relationships, but not a lot on intention. i think, no matter the mistakes jeremy makes, his intentions are good. he wants to support jean and help him in his healing journey. was it wrong of him to tell cat and laila what happened in jean's freshman year without his permission? yes, of course. but i think people need to consider that jeremy is literally only human. he's a 22 year old boy who has unresolved issues of his own that's just trying to do the best he can with what he has. he shouldn't have talked about jean's past without his consent, but it's important to know that he didn't do it with malicious intent or just to gossip. he probably genuinely thought it was the right way to go to let cat and laila know, so they can help jean better by knowing what happened. it wasn't the right thing to do, but honestly i think people in the fandom are more pressed about it than jean is. jean remarks on it and seems a bit annoyed, both with himself for telling jeremy and jeremy for telling the girls, but he doesn't hold it against jeremy and clearly still trusts him. jean knows that jeremy wants the best for him, and is doing his best, and the fandom should remember that too.

i think a lot of the issues the fandom has w jeremy and also jerejean is that they seem to think jeremy is going to "heal" jean. i cannot explain how much this take boils my blood because people can't "heal" other people. healing is a complicated and long process that requires, yes, help from others, but also changes in perspective, environment and core belief. jeremy alone is not going to fix jean and make him good as new, and that attitude towards them is unhelpful when analysing the narrative. jean's slow journey of healing comes from the combination of: a huge change in environment (the mob mindset of the raven's nest -> the sunshine court), a support network (jeremy, cat, laila, wymack, the trojans, occasionally kevin and neil), a change in mindset (both towards exy as a sport and towards relationships with others and a relationship with himself) and simply time. no one person can heal another, and no matter how large a role jeremy plays in jean's healing, he knows he can't do it on his own. so do the other people around jean. it's why cat takes him on a motorbike ride, just to let him relax and see the world. it's why renee doesn't get jean to stay with her, because she knows how good the trojans will be for him. jeremy is not going to heal jean, but he can definitely help him with it.

the last and arguably most important thing is this: jean trusts jeremy. y'all can talk about how jean is traumatised and unfamiliar with the world outside the nest but i swear to god this fandom babies and uwufies him to unbelievable extents. jean may be unspeakably traumatised and at the end of his rope, but he is an adult, and he does have agency. he understands that jeremy cares about him and his wellbeing, and he trusts jeremy. jeremy isn't perfect. he's inevitably going to make mistakes and do questionable things along the way, but i don't think he's at all impeding jean's healing or growth, and he is doing everything with genuine good intentions. one person's definition of the "right" thing to do is not objective and all-encompassing. jeremy may do things that offend you, and that you would hate, but everyone has a different opinion on these things. do you guys remember the conversation between andreil after dr*ke's attack, when neil pushes andrew just to see him crack? if u think about it on an objective level, it was wrong, even cruel, to press someone about their history of trauma after a horribly traumatic event has just happened to them. but andrew doesn't hold it against neil, and doesn't even seem all that bothered by it. i think the aftg fandom would do well to look at things and events that happen in the books in context and stop thinking that there is only one right answer to every question and only one correct solution in every situation. just because something would be a no-go for you, doesn't mean it would be for everyone, and that goes for fictional characters as much as it goes for real life.

anyway i just find it so interesting how critical and quick to judge people are when it comes to jeremy, when, objectively, the foxes and even andreil have done probably more pressing and objectively "wrong" things to each other. if u read the series back, there are a lot of times when they push and challenge each other's boundaries, but there's an understanding that that is the best way for them to engage with each other. it would do everyone a lot of good to apply the same attitude to the sunshine court, considering how vastly different of a context this new series is in.

[thanosscross]

My Darling - Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P x reader part 3

Summary: After weeks of thinking of ways to wrap up your tour, your boyfriend has the perfect idea, making your last show for tour a lot more memorable and less stressful

Warnings: None

Life couldn't be any better for you and your boyfriend, you hadn't fully made it official, but you and Seung Hyun agreed to stay committed to each other, which you were both fine with. As the months passed, so did your tour dates, getting closer and closer to your last show which started to weigh on you.

"Jagi..What's going on?" Seung Hyun asked as he walked into your shared home, you were only home for a few days before you had to leave again, so your boyfriend tried his best to be as present as possible while still keeping to his schedule "I can't think of anything for my last show! I need something big but I can't think of anything other than releasing the song we made, but I don't want everybody to think there's gonna be another album before the end of tour" You frowned looking at the spread of screens in front of you tiredly massaging your temples. Seung Hyun thought after that up until the day you had to leave, smiling at you with his adorable smile as he waited for you at the door "What're you doing?" You laughed raising your eyebrow at him "I was thinking... You know..You've really been helping me rebuild my reputation..And you're always there to make sure the critics aren't too harsh..so what if for your last show, we both release our single" He offered, you furrowed your eyebrows dropping your bags "Seriously? Seung Hyun, if you're serious that's amazing you feel ready again!" You cheered hugging him tightly "As long as I have you, I've got this" He smiled softly "So, I've got everything packed, lil guy is with your sister so he's being taken care of in doggy paradise, we are free to tour the road" He smiled, picking your bags up taking them to the car that was outside waiting, Seung Hyun smiled at your body guard nodding "Good morning" He smiled, happy to be able to see you more.

Rehearsal was hard on you, you weren't expecting your award shows performances to be demanding, and yet you were more worn out than you had ever been. Looking at the clock you groaned, only twenty minutes before you had to be back on stage to do it all for real. Looking towards backstage you offered your poor boyfriend a sad smile, feeling bad he had to sit back and watch you work for the next two shows.

They flew by rather quickly, leaving you in your hotel room the night before your last show, pacing the hotel floor nervous about every possible outcome, your boyfriend almost mimicking your behavior with his own worries. You jumped as you heard shouting and your body guard slide into the room holding the door shut "M-Ma'am, do you know a Ji-Yong, or G-Dragon? He says he knows the both of you" He asked, you tilted your head looking at Seung Hyun, watching his expression change through different emotions "Yea let him in" You replied resting a hand on Seung Hyun's chest as a form of comfort "Seung Hyun!" Ji-Yong shouted rushing in "Is it true? Are you really coming back to k-pop?" He asked rushing to his friend "He's not sure, we're taking it slow" You smiled softly extending your hand sweetly "Y/n l/n" You offered, he smiled stopping to shake your hand "it's so nice to meet you! I'm Ji-Yong, Seung Hyun's friend" He introduced, you shook his hand gently, glancing back to Seung Hyun "Y-Yea, Y/n's been a huge help with trying to restore my name back home" He explained nervously, you smiled, letting the two talk and catch up while you went to do you pre-show routine. Hearing your call you quickly moved to your mark on stage taking a deep breath as you started the show.

It'd be a full hour before Seung Hyun finally got his call, you stood in the center of the stage panting trying to catch your breath from the last show as the crowd slowly quieted down you lifted the microphone up "This next part..I know it will be hard, But I need you to contain yourselves, because he's-" As soon as the pronoun left your mouth the crowd erupted again, you nerves vanishing whenever you heard Seung's chuckle in your ear piece, knowing he was getting his microphone and ear pieces hooked up you knew you had to be quick. "-He's a little nervous about this, but we're excited to show you what we've been so busy working on.." You smirked turning around to face the entry and exit to the stage along with the giant big screen that was currently showing the same entry you were watching as the intro to your song started to play. "T.o.p is back, baby!" Seung's voice played over the track, having to cover your ears for a moment from the screaming echoing off of the walls you missed Seung rushing out on stage waving as the track cut out for a moment, letting the crowd process what was going on first. As Seung Hyun snapped out of his trance he made his way to you, wrapping his arm around you leaning close "Are you okay?" He asked softly, you nodded softly smiling at him "Yea, Wasn't expecting everybody to be that loud, but what can I say, everybody loves T.O.P!" You said shouting the last part into the microphone, he just chuckled shaking his head as he got into his mark.

Preforming with you was different than it was performing with BigBang, it was less people on stage, all of the attention was just on you and him, it was scary but at the same time he missed the feeling so bad, and as of right now, everybody seemed happy he was there. As Seung Hyun started his verse you made sure to circle around him, dancing overdramatically to his lyrics, along with adding in random back up vocals, your only goal was to make sure everybody had fun during the show, including Seung Hyun. He quickly turned his body to started moving towards you as you started to rap with him, staring him down as you both went faster and faster before you ended up stumbling over your words laughing loudly. You were quick to realize you wouldn't be able to end the show so soon after bringing Seung Hyun out, so of course you encouraged him to perform some of his songs with you, knowing both you and the fans would love it.

As Zutter started to play, you gasped sprinting across the stage, watching your boyfriend playfully hump the air to the lyrics "T.o.p! We are a PG show!" You giggled into the microphone, He just raised his microphone up making direct eye contact "Sorry, Jegi" He smiled, you just blushed running off to the other side of him "continue on! But PG!" You laughed, watching him from your spot as he preformed, almost like it was second nature to him, Seung Hyun always make sure to occasionally make eye contact with you as a silent way of letting you know he was okay. You watched him preform quietly until the final song started to play, Knock out, your eyes shot over to him as the crowd screamed loudly as you raised your microphone starting to rap Ji-Yong's verse, even making an effort to spot him out to get him to help him finish the verse off. As Seung Hyun finished his part of the chorus you both stood next to each other, laughing as you matched each others movements as you sang Ji-yong's double double combo part. As Seung Hyun started again, you followed him down the stage, mimicking his movements, freezing anytime he looked back, as the song approached its end, you and Seung Hyun partnered up to finish the last verse. As you finished the last word and went to strike a pose with Seung Hyun, he had already beat you to it, pulling you back to your platform that lowered you back underneath the stage to the backstage area, before cupping your cheek before raising the microphone up one last time "T.O.P, baby" he whispered before pressing his lips to yours, you giggled as the platform lowered and the crowd screamed loudly. Once you were under the stage and your microphones were off you looked at Seung Hyun squealing "That was so fun!" You giggled hugging him tightly "Thank you" He whispered, hugging you back gently "For what?" you asked, he just shook his head "Helping me so much..for seeing I'm still a person beyond my past mistakes" He whispered, holding your hands tightly "Of course, I'll always be there for you, Seung Hyun..I promise" You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling him towards to stairs to take you backstage "Now come on! I took the liberty of making us an after party!" You smiled excited, you watched his face fall "I'm sorry, baby..I just..Don't feel like going out tonight" he frowned, you just smiled pulling him to your dressing room, which was decorated slightly, the only difference being the three men sitting in your dressing room excitedly waiting for the person they saw as an older brother for so long.

"What's this?" He asked cluelessly, you just shook your head "I figured, your comeback is a big thing, and the only family you really talked about celebrating with after shows was the boys, and your sisters family..So..Your sister can't make it till tomorrow night, so You'll get a night with the boys, and a weekend with all of your family" You smiled, turning to face him, Seung Hyun just hugged you tightly, trying to hide his tears, just in the few months you had been together, you had done so much for him, in his own interest, not your own, and it was one of the reasons he was starting to fall in love with you.

--

You like?

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Taglist!!

@ag022123

@acehasmyheart

[moltenapian]

> assuming the dom is a man

> assuming the dom is doing it because they like to see the sub suffer instead of doing it purely as an exercise in making their sub feel good in the ways that best work for them

Like fr

Not to get too personal on main but I've been pretty seriously SAd fairly continuously over a period of about five years of my life. Without going into details, it's led to pretty serious drives to self-harm. More beneath the cutoff of you want to read, I guess. It's late so I'm going to be very personal.

Drives that have been rewarded by society at large, in fact. Exercising 25 hours a week on less than 1800 calories a day, while it absolutely ruined my body in the long, made me one of the best rowers in my state in the short term. Nobody pulled me aside and told me that it was unhealthy, that I'd hurt myself, that in four years I'd hardly be able to function and certainly not in any high level athletics. No, they just cared I was faster at racing boats than the others.

I sought self harm in a lot of ways, none of which were controlled. Staying up far too late and working much longer hours than I should have. Not eating anywhere near enough in order to maintain my thin figure. All of it, rewarded and encouraged.

Only after some very severe health scares and deep reexamination of my situation did I really truly identify these drives and how they affected me in such an unhealthy manner. I can't get rid of them. After five years of consistent sexual trauma (and otherwise but we don't need to worry about that) those things are rooted too deep to excise.

But now that I'm in a healthy relationship with a partner who is accepting and understanding of my hangups, trauma triggers, and the things which I need to be able to function in a relationship, I've been able to deal with these impulses in a healthy way.

Better to handle that stuff in a scene where absolutely everything is agreed upon by both parties beforehand, safewords are strictly enforced, and nothing gets pushed too too far. Just enough to stop the part of my brain that wants me to hurt to be satiated for a while. My instincts for self harm are almost entirely abated with occasional "rough" sex and bitter drinks (ngl in my experience a very good way to alleviate those feelings).

Anyways, these days I've been sleeping enough, eating enough, and the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. A productive environment to be able to work out those feelings is really invaluable, and I'm glad to have it.

All this goes to say... it sounds like OP either hasn't practiced safe BDSM (which is a very real risk, don't get me wrong) or is simply judging something based on an emotional/moral reaction. Anyways the criticisms really don't hold up, and tbh in 98% of cases competitive sports teams rely on the same dynamics and are wayyyy more unhealthy. I could write a whole essay on this but now is not the time.

This post is stupid as hell and I'm certainly sorry I (and you all) had to see it

not me printing and framing this shit

[razorblade180]

Archon Ranking

Charlotte:Aether! As a famous traveler with deep connections to other nations and their Archons, I have to ask, *pulls out pen and paper* who do you think the best Archon is among the ones you met?

Aether:…*looks around* I don’t know how, but it feels like they’re listening. I just know it’s going to get back to them.

Venti:*behind a house* Shhh

Archons:*nod silently*

Aether:This question isn’t exactly easy, it’s not impossible. The Raiden Shogun and Rex Lapis are out of the running.

Ei:(That’s fair…)

Zhongli:*slouches*

Charlotte:Well one of them did kick off a civil war, but why think little of the deceased Lord of Geo? Is it because you didn’t get the chance to know him enough.

Aether:…Yes. While I commend his diligence, I fear having such a strict and uncompromising approach to the concept of contracts lead to a few… rather unnecessary predicaments that could’ve been avoided by forming more open and new contracts with his people.

Zhongli:An interesting perspective. One that may or may not hold some merit. I won’t outright dismiss it, but some things must be set in stone.

Furina:Now I don’t mean to criticize such an enlightened individual, but as someone who actually had a national incident set in stone, I don’t think your plan had to have one.

Zhongli:Hmmm

Aether:The others are sorta tricky. I can’t find fault in how Nahida chose to conduct herself. Centuries of isolation by her own people and yet she still helped throughout history. Perhaps it would’ve been simpler for her to take a hands on approach and speak out against the injustices she felt, but she’s still a young and gentle god. I can’t blame her for feeling small.

Charlotte:I’ve read dozens or articles after Sumeru’s liberation. I gotta say some brought me to tears! Though she’s far older than us, I must say I don’t think it’s inappropriate to say asking such a feat is no different than expecting a child to stand up to an adult without ever being taught to do so. If anything, it makes it more amazing that she eventually did!

Aether:I agree. I’m very proud of her.

Nahida:*sniffles* Aw, I see. Suddenly I’m all warm inside.

Charlotte:Am I correct to say you’ve met the god of Anemo?

Aether:….

Charlotte:Off the record.

Aether:Yes. I’ve met them several times. As for on the record, the Anemo Archon may not be present often, his presence is always felt down to the blades of grass. From the very start he made a place made for his people, and lead by his people. A hands off approach not only not only fits the god of freedom, but is beneficial for the common man. Plus, it’s not like anyone feels abandoned. There’s countless records of their god returning to aid in times of need.

Charlotte:Make you wonder if he had any hand in the Storm Terror crisis.

Aether:I wouldn’t put it past them. My glider never seemed to fail a rookie like me when I needed it most.

Venti:*smiles smugly*

Zhongli:You still drink too much.

Venti:Because I have the time. You do too. Some might say, Liyue is more like Mondstadt these days.

Ei:No one is saying that.

Venti:And yet I still find it comical how much a certain someone put into retiring, just to live among his people with a normal occupation.

Mavukia:He…makes a point. To a degree. You both ended in the same spot surprisingly.

Zhongli:Sigh….

Aether: As for Furina and Mavuika… it feels wrong to praise one without the other. The Pyro Archon is a strong capable leader who’s very personable. Her plan was a bit more than crazy, but it had to be to face the abyss. Most importantly, she suffered alongside her people and sacrificed a lot in order to see her plan through. Things nobody should ever have to give up; like being an older sibling. She has my respect. Truly, no one fights alone with her around.

Mavukia:*smiles* If you ask me, he should share some of that praise with himself.

Aether:As for Furina, well, do I really have to tell you about her. To this day, people see her as a the Hydro Archon.

Charlotte:How could Fontainian’s not? Even with the truth discovered, it doesn’t change she’s been prevalent in our history.

Aether:While I don’t think I can say her leadership skills are as astute as other Archons, I personally can’t bring myself to say she isn’t brilliant. Furina did her job to the letter and never compromised it once for the sake of her people despite every single day wearing down her soul until she was in literal tears. I honestly don’t know what’s more impressive. Mavukia has always moved forward without faltering. That takes immense strength. Furina though, she doesn’t have that kind of strength. In a lot of ways, she did break and hesitate, yet she walked forward all the same. It’s both amazing and terrifying. Human Archons sure are interesting.

Charlotte:Maybe it’s our shared humanity that made them so strong in your eyes.

Aether:Maybe, but I think even archons in the traditional sense are more human than some give them credit. For instance, they’re all nosy enough to eavesdrop behind a house.

Venti:Ha, busted…

Furina walks out with a red face and eyes that tried to act serious but failed to do so thanks to their glossy gaze that struggled to hold back tears. She didn’t even know what to say and feared her voice might shake. Before she could try, Aether hugs her. She can only hug him back in frustration. It didn’t take long for Nahida to join. Meanwhile Mavukia and Ei walked out into view simply because there was no need to hide.

Aether:You guys are ridiculous.

Ei:True feelings are typically expressed when the subject isn’t around. I must admit, I wish you had said at least one positive thing.

Aether:No one can ever doubt that you care. Maybe you didn’t express it correctly, and very few people know your grief, but you are a good person. I mean that.

Ei:I appreciate your understanding. Perhaps in the future, many more will share a similar idea.

Charlotte:…*squints* Are the Anemo and Geo archon behind the house too?

Aether:Off the record?

Charlotte:*tosses pen and paper* I can keep a secret! I’ll make a contact if I have to! I just gotta know~

Venti:..*peeks head out* Hello!

Charlotte:I’ve seen you!!! You’re the drunk bard everyone likes even though he doesn’t pay his tab!

Venti:I pay my tab! It just keeps coming back.

Charlotte:*bounces with anticipation* Is the Lord of Geo with you? Hehehe~

Zhongli:…*sticks arm out*

Charlotte:DIRECTOR HU TAO’S FUNERAL CONSULTANT!?

Zhongli:Wha- she knew by my sleeve!?

Aether:I am going to be honest, wearing all brown and having a job that uses your encyclopedic knowledge of history is not a conspicuous disguise.

Venti:I told ya, you might as well of chose to be a miner. There’s dozens of those; much like there’s countless bards! So what if I sing an old song!? Nobody would bat an eye if you were good at digging.

Zhongli:Sigh…

[thydungeongal]

something ive been thinking about id love to get your thoughts on: i wonder how many people who stick with dnd 5e and effectively do all the game design themselves whilst insisting 5e ‘good’ just really like designing ttrpg (or at least mechanics) on their own? But don’t feel confident with making one from scratch? Especially with how much of dnd’s community is fueled by people designing their own shit thats ‘compatible’ with 5e?

perhaps they take criticisms of 5e at criticisms of their own game design ability?

not saying you’re wrong to go ‘play a different game’ btw!! I agree. Ive just noticed how people get excited to make up their own mechanics and wonder if this is the case.

I think there might be an element of that to it, yes. I know lots of people do enjoy just tinkering with D&D 5e, which is valid, and I can see how to those people criticisms of D&D might sting because there is the added element of having spent so much time and effort tinkering with it. Which isn't really the point: as I like to point out, I'm mostly interested in D&D the game as it exists as a text and the various contradictions between the text and how its players interact with it. So like. None of my critiques of D&D as a text apply to your house rules.

And ultimately creating your own RPG content is cool as hell and has always been a part of the hobby. It does require a good understanding of the game and its fundamentals, because it's extremely easy to design bad homebrew that simply doesn't work with the assumptions of the game it's made for.

Having said that, I also tend to think that homebrew is basically a game of diminishing returns: you can tune the basics of the system a little bit to make it work a bit better for your ends, and that will probably yield good results for you. But if you start hacking at core assumptions of the game you're going to start seeing less satisfying results for a lot of effort, and at that point people would emphatically be better off playing another game. D&D is for the most part a dungeon game (even though the exact shape and trappings of the dungeons may vary) and trying to hack it into an elf-kissing game will require a lot of ultimately thankless effort simply because you're going to need a lot more in-depth changing of the system besides just fucking around with the shape of the dice.

(and incidentally I feel that is part of the reason why so much of 5e compatible content is kind of mid at best. Since the culture of play surrounding the game is to an extent disconnected from the actual assumptions of the game, as incoherent as they may be at times, a lot of 5e content ends up being made without considering the fundamentals of D&D)

[jraker4]

I’m not the one seeking to redefine terms-that’s what you admitted already that Ireland has asked to do. What’s the convention with you? Oh, yes: ‘sorry, boo!’

As for ethnic cleansing, well in fact I agree that there is a strong case to be made that Israel is engaging in ethnic cleansing in certain places. Which is pretty goddamned bad! But that’s not genocide against the entire Palestinian people. Things can be bad without being the worst thing possible.

‘Silences any criticism’? You’re right! How could I have missed this! No one dares criticize Israel. International organizations shiver and fall silent when Israel flexes its global Jewish might! Oh, wait…

‘Imaginary person?’ Heh. What started largely as a ‘this will annoy them’ is growing steadily more likely in my mind. ‘Imaginary person’? You chimed in on their post which is how this conversation happening now started!

I know you don’t care who’s committing genocide, that’s my point. Unless you think you can say it’s Jews.

As for the litany of evils that you correctly cite, my answer is: largely no. I contribute modestly to Doctors Without Borders monthly, I support and vote for politicians who wish to protect or expand foreign aid, and I’ve given money to a few Syrian refugee charities over the years. It’s not much: my means are pretty limited, after all. But here’s the thing, ‘boo’: *I’m not pretending to be a crusader motivated by moral outrage over such things, a moral outrage that ‘curiously’ seems to express itself almost exclusively against Israel.* What are *you* doing for *any* of these causes? It’s a fair question, because unlike me you *are* asserting moral authority. Badgering random Jews online doesn’t count as helping.

You, though? You appropriate and hijack grief and anger at human suffering and seek to apply it to a scapegoat.

As for Israeli women, say…I wonder what one of the important words in that paragraph was about sexual assault in West Asia. Maybe it was…’documented’? Why, I’ll bet it was! You’re such a craven fucking liar, this is *exactly* what I’m talking about. See, if you had integrity you could have said ‘Israel has a problem with sexual violence against women’. Truth is, I think that’s basically true of every nation on Earth,

Instead, you cite a report that speaks of Israel being the highest in West Asia. Tell me, chickenshit, is there a lot of reporting of sexual assault among the nations of West Asia? But it’s not enough to say ‘Israel has problems’, or even ‘Israel is doing something awful’. It has to be *the worst*, because you’re an antisemite. Make sure to remember to say ‘you’re just calling me an antisemite!’ and disregard everything else, ‘boo’:)

The right hates Jews because the right are bigots. The left hates Jews because Jews are bigots!!!

Seriously Jews, it’s you. It’s not us it’s you!! Y’all treat all us “goyim” like trash and then act surprised when we don’t want to be around you. Then you commit a genocide against the Palestinians and act like the victims when people protest it!!

JEWS!!! IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO UNPACK YOUR BIGOTRIES!!!

[abyssalzones]

at the end of the day alex is just some guy. he’s said some objectively stupid things but he doesn’t deserve to get like. beat with hammers or something. especially when he’s probably not as involved with gf’s creative design as everyone thinks he is

yeah agreed. I don't know. I used to spend so much of my life being anxious about what the creator of my Favorite Thing had to say, and I think in a way it was to avoid thinking about aspects of my real life that were contributing far more meaningfully to that stress and anxiety. this is mostly because gf has been a very important thing to me over the years, so any time there was some incongruence between what it meant to me and what was being said about it, it would feel like the end of the world. but I feel like after reading tbob and "the worst" coming to pass in a lot of ways, it's like I've broken out of that weird spell a bit. it just objectively doesn't matter to me anymore if alex says something stupid or annoying outside of official material, and even within official material I think I've found a lot more closure by acknowledging the things that used to bother me than turning away from them and going Well that's not how /I/ would've done it!!! which makes sense for a show that has a lot of themes about avoidance, in an oddly full-circle way.

I'm getting a little off topic from what your ask was about I think. I've been kind of hesitant to bring it up publicly since I don't want it to seem like I'm his #1 fan or doing a big heel turn or anything but I don't claim to hate alex at all anymore, I disagree with his perspective sometimes but I think that's healthy in terms of having a meaningful, personal dialogue with a story. a creator cannot perfectly convey to an audience and have their intention be universally understood, nor should they! it's vital that art remains subjective, and that there's an infinite number of interpretations- regardless of whether they're supported by the text in some capacity or are totally bullshit. and just in general as I've grown up a bit I think dedicating energy to making myself anxious on the internet is a waste of time when I could be making art that is truer to my feelings about something. I respect and uphold everyone's right to be a #hater but I think being a #lover is vitally important to keeping criticism meaningful, as well as keeping perspective on Why you're hating something.

please god nobody take any of this in bad faith btw I love complaining I think complaining is great I just don't want to do it as much anymore. I want to live!!!!!!

[utilitycaster]

I can’t help but feel that the people who are complaining about the people criticizing this campaign are the types that are going to be pissed if BH does just kill Predathos and lets the gods live, especially if that comes at the cost of some supposed deserved happy ending for their faves. And what’s maybe ironic is that I feel that an ending in which BH choses to save the gods, the campaign does rise a bit in my esteem, and might in the eyes of some other critics as well, as it would, i dunno, maybe play into these themes of forgiveness and love and overcoming resentment that keep being used as a defense of this campaign and these characters? 

Anyway, godspeed on the quest to find good faith arguments on why this campaign is excellent. would genuinely like to see one.

Oh definitely. Like...look. I hope I conveyed the point of "I don't particularly think either of us are approaching this with a deep respect for the other, but we can at least make a polite fiction of good faith that, if you actually can come up with an argument that assumes that, I will accept in genuine good faith" and so in that interest I'm trying to scale back on attacking people. But also...I've been down this road before. When people complained about how bad Campaign 2 was, firstly, it specifically took hold either right after a ship competing with theirs became canon or at least was strongly hinted towards; or was in response to Molly not coming back; and secondly a lot of this happened after they'd been effusive in their praise for the campaign up until that point. Whereas for Campaign 3 you can, if you actually wished to do the research, go to my blog or most of my mutuals' blogs and do an archive dig and trace the optimism and excitement turning into skepticism turning into "yeah, this ain't it chief" with fairly consistent complaints (poor pacing, plot-character mismatches, indecision, failure of the characters to ever really challenge each other meaningfully in a way that leads to growth) throughout, coupled with, if I am being honest, a massive deal of grace and patience and "maybe this is the course correction" that was not always earned. Dorym becoming canon did not shift this among the many people who like Dorym and also think the campaign isn't very good, myself included, so I don't really think it's shipping wank that's the problem. I'm not inclined to respect arguments that either, 118 episodes into a campaign that's very close to its end, demand I consider its ~potential~. I have. It has, for the most part, failed to deliver over the course of those 118 episodes.

If a common complaint within the fandom of people who have watched hundreds of hours of this story is "it's unclear what story it is telling and the party is aimless" and small pockets and echo chambers are like NO YOU DON'T GET IT...I don't want to say its impossible for this to happen and that the majority is automatically correct, but were I an outside observer I know where I'd place money in a bet.

And yes, I agree. I think a lot of of the people defending it are either, to be very blunt, in a sunk cost fallacy situation/dedicated to a certain level of contrarianism more so than having their own opinions that exist independent of the fandom; or believe it will give them a happy ending for their faves or validate their belief the gods should die or they just want Exandria to burn at this point for whatever reason. I don't feel it's actually something that follows from the narrative, which, as this post so aptly puts, is just kind of sailing towards the rocks while the crew sort of bickers and doesn't do anything. It feels like the most satisfying endings possible are either achieving what the gods couldn't and destroying this existential threat for once and for all (in which case the gods survive, and hey, they actually did take a third option that no one was really talking about, the indecision was still boring as fuck but at least there's a scrap of payoff), or tragedy befalling them (loss of party members, killing a large swath of Exandria) as a consequence. And neither of those are what they want, which is like. the abstract concept of change and the less abstract and deeply unflattering concept of killing everyone who didn't give you what you wanted.

It is in fact unsurprising that the arguments in the fandom are the way they are. Wow I wonder why people who think "I asked this person for something and they didn't answer so I think letting loose an endless hunger entity to eat them" is a good and noble thing to do can't handle the idea that existing in the world means you and things you like will receive criticism, and other people won't just do what you want if you whine loudly enough.

[storiesfromafan]

When He's Gone

A/N: first night of house sitting and doggo watching, which means I could finish part two to this. But I am going to make this a 3 parter, as it just felt right to end it where i did 😅

I will also have a poll at the end of this part, feel free to vote.

Warning/s: angst, sadness, maybe you'll cry, possible spelling/grammer mistakes, briefly revised

Tag list: @charmingballoon @strayrockette

Word got back to you, a few days after that night, that Benny had taken off that night. Betty had told you over coffee how Benny had stormed back into the bar, dark mood hanging over him. She said how Johnny had been the one to approach him at the bar – chugging down a beer as Johnny reached his side.

“Ya alright kid?” Johnny asked, concern written on his face.

Finally removing the bottle from his lips, and practically slamming it on the bar, Benny looked at the wall across from him. His face set in a hard scowl. “She ended it...and I gave it to her".

Johnny – looking to Cal, who’d stepped up to Benny's other side – had a confused yet worried look upon his face. Not sure what Benny meant. “Ah, ya gave it to her?” He questioned wanting clarification.

The man at focus nodded his head. “Yeah. She wanted it to be over, so I gave it to her...told her we were over then...”

Both Johnny and Cal sighed, though they knew Benny would never lay a hand on a woman. But his current mood, and words, gave a different opinion. Placing his hand on his shoulder, Johnny stared at Benny's face. Waiting for the man to look to him. And after downing the last of his beer he finally looked to the older Vandal.

“What happened?” Johnny asked calmly, needing the whole story.

So Benny told him what happened. How you took off out of the bar, how he followed you and called out what was wrong. You declaring you were done. Standing in the middle of the road airing out your issues at the hand of the women hanging around the bar, and him. He told you everything you’d said or done wrong, yet never mentioned or admitted to his involvement. How he shut down or let that voice in his head win. Benny would never voice how he was half to blame, never taking ownership of his part that played in your breakup.

“Sounds like she had a good reason to be mad" stated Johnny, gaze hard and righteous.

Benny turned to look at the empty beer bottle, knowing the man was right, that you were right. Yet Benny couldn’t admit it. If he did, he would have to agree with a lot you said. Such as how he put the club and his bike over you. Even though he tried to keep it all balanced.

“What do you love more; her or ya bike?” The older Vandal asked.

Benny kept his gaze on the bottle, mind thinking over the question. And yet he couldn’t answer it. How could he pick which one he loved more? Both were different in their own way, but both brought him such joy and happiness. Sure, his bike couldn’t mouth off to him but would play up. While you, you were full of opinions and ideas, but also cared for him like no one else ever had.

When Cal spoke up, along with a few others, saying how stupid it was to flip out and breakup because you’d said it. How walking away from that fine ass – which was meant to be a light hearted jest – was the biggest mistake. Or how you’d find another man quick smart. It all triggered something in Benny, anger and hurt.

Without a word, he shrugged off Johnny's hand before heading for the front door. He could hear Johnny going off at the men that spoke. But Benny didn’t care. He’d gotten some harsh criticism and truths. He was done. He needed to get away, clear his head and hopefully his heart. Which was aching. Getting on his bike, Benny didn’t waste time starting up the engine and  pulling away from the curb, riding through town and off into the night, and wherever the road would take him.

You sat back in your seat at the small kitchen table, lit cigarette in hand which was resting on the table top. Betty sat across from you, watching you closely to gauge your reaction to the story she just told you. Lifting your hand you took the last drag of the cigarette, holding it for as long as you could before releasing the smoke. You then stubbed it out in the ashtray.

“I see...” was all you could say.

You weren’t surprised he’d taken off. It’s what he did best. Running from his problems rather than working through them. It’s like putting a band aid on a broken arm. Him running away just showed how immature, or scared, Benny was. Eventually he’ll blow back into town and act like nothing happened. And that’s fine. He could do that. You don’t care, you won’t be sitting around waiting for him. If he will even come crawling back to you.

“Well it’s going to be quiet around Grand and Division for a while then" you stated, like it was fact.

Betty looked concerned, “you ain’t worried about him?”

You sighed. “Sure, I’ll always worry about him...but he made his choice. He gave up. And sure, I instigated the breakup...but he put the final nail in the coffin, so to say".

She nodded, moving to take another sip of her coffee.

“Once he’s mind is made up, that’s it...” you muttered. “So I won’t mope around. It’s not worth it...”

You left it at that. No more to say on the matter that is Benny Cross. That chapter of your life had come to an end. The next, new chapter was all about you and whatever you do with yourself. Time to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. But there were times you would find yourself crying, mainly at night, over him. Even though you didn’t want to, nor did he deserve your tears. During the day and around people, you put on a strong front, that you almost believed.

The first month of Benny’s absence was hard. You noted it as the withdrawal stage. Missing and wanting him because he wasn’t there. Various Vandal's came to check in on you, though you felt more like they were sniffing around. Trying to find out if Benny had reached out to you, but mainly testing the waters for themselves. See if you were desperate that you’d give them the time of day. And they were mistaken, you’d never go for another Vandal.

At the end of the first month Johnny paid you a visit. He was checking in on you, making sure you were doing alright and if you needed anything. You were nice – even if you shouldn’t be – Johnny wasn’t the one to do all this, it was Benny. You got him a beer, while you had tea, and sat at your kitchen table, which reminded you of when Betty had been there. Both of them were a like, and it warmed your broken heart.

Eventually he dropped the bomb he’d had word on Benny, he was fine and just moving around. It was a relief for you, hearing your ex was alive. The older man told you Benny would be back in time, and it would all work out. But would it? Did you want that?

“I don’t think I want it to work out...I can’t keep doing this, Johnny" you admitted looking him in the eyes. “I can’t be the back-up...”

Johnny tried to reason with you, but you’d made your mind up. Once he had finished his beer, and this conversation wasn’t going his way, he said he had to get going. Politely you walked him to the front door, even watching and waving as he rode off on his bike. That was that. You’d finally put your foot down. And Johnny knew that.

The second month since Benny left, you finally felt more yourself, freer even. You had been focusing on work at the diner. Still getting those passing through town that would flirt with you, and you’d continue to turn them down. Only this time not adding you had a boyfriend. One particular truck driver – a man a few years older than you and easy on the eyes – tried his luck, and when you just said thank you, but not interested, he noted your lack of words.

“No sorry, I got a boyfriend?” He asked, rather surprised.

You flinched, which didn’t go unnoticed. “Nope, no boyfriend...” you muttered moving around the counter.

“Huh. That’s surprisin” he stated playing with his coffee cup. “What happened? If ya don’t mind me askin'?”

Without going into detail, you gave him the summed-up version. Giving the short version hurt less, as it didn’t bring up every issue you and Benny had. And the man was nice, understanding and ended it by saying Benny hadn’t deserved you. That you would find someone to love you completely. Against your better judgement, you believed his words. Even if part of you didn’t want someone else to love you, or for yourself to love another.

Your love with Benny was one of a kind. It was good, yet bad and messy. With its ups and downs. It was wild. It was passion. It was unlike anything you’d experienced. As was Benny. You had admired him from a far, not wanting to get close or involved with him. But that man wouldn’t have that, chasing you until you gave in. And you had been so happy to. Let go and go with the flow.

Yet, it was that love that hurt when you both would fight. Or when he’d take off for weeks. Left to cry and hurt, heart aching because of how you loved that man. But was it like that for him? Hurting from how you’d both fired up and left it? Did he over think it all, and try to pinpoint where it went wrong? Probably not, that wasn’t Benny's style.

A few weeks into month three of no Benny, a few friends of yours – ones that don’t run in the Vandal circle – finally talked you into going with them to the movies. You weren’t in the mood for their girl time, as it was more superficial and of no substance, or really going out. But somehow, they talked you into it.

So Friday night, after your shift, you got home and had a shower. From there you did your hair and light make up, you had to put some effort into your appearance with these women. They were all about looks. You went with a simple (colour) swing dress, that had a rounded collar, sleeveless and a matching belt to accentuate the waist.

Sitting at your vanity you put in some earrings and then your necklace. Which you only noticed, as it lay against the fabric of your dress, was the locket that Benny had gotten you. Staring at the locket, you allowed your finger tips to graze the metal. Part of you told you to take it off, put it away and leave it in the past. Yet, you couldn’t. The locket was something special, something Benny had given you on your birthday, after you had seen it when window shopping one time. That man might have only glanced it, but remembered it completely. And you told yourself, you felt better having a part of him with you.

Not thinking about it again, you got up, put on some shoes and grabbed your bag. Once outside the door, you drove to the movie theatre. Only then were you privy to the fact this three girls movie night was actually a triple date, a blind one for you. Being left out of the loop ticked you off, and eventually you voiced that before going into the movie, when the men went to get drinks and snacks.

“Calm down (Y/N), will you!” Fussed Sally.

You huffed. “All I’m saying is that I would have liked to have known this was a triple date!”

“Honestly, if she had told you the truth, would you have came?” Questioned Ann.

You stood there for a moment silent, knowing you wouldn’t have agreed to it. “No...”

Both women shared a look. “Exactly. That’s why I didn’t tell you" Sally stated softly. “You need to go out, date even. It’s over with him, he’s gone".

You detested how they didn’t say Benny's name, never had as they didn’t like him or think him good enough for you. But also, you were glad they didn’t say it now, or else you might have gotten upset. You knew they had a point. You had to go out and live your life. You had just wanted to do it with the Vandal by your side.

The conversation died then as the men returned. Both your friends linked arms with their dates, while you chose to walk awkwardly beside the guy you were paired with. He was nice, not pushy or a jerk. He was quiet sweet. Making small talk and just being friendly in a genuine way. The movie was alright, but not something you would have seen if it wasn’t for Sally and Ann. After the movie both women and their dates left, leaving you with Andrew. He was kind enough to walk you to your car.

“I hope your night wasn’t a waste" he started, “I mean – you had a good time, even if it’s not what you expected!” He sighed flustered. “I-it’s just, I know you didn’t know about me...when I thought you did. I’m sorry you got roped into this date. But I hope it wasn’t too bad...”

For the first time in months you softly smiled, a small chuckle coming from your chest. Sure, he tripped over his words but he was sincere. Andrew was a nice, good guy. Sweet to being chatty, like friends hanging out, while your friends and their dates got cosy and kissed. He respected you, were another men wouldn’t have been.

“Thank you” you thanked softly. “Though I was blind sided, I had a good time" – Andrew visually relaxed and beamed a relieved smile – “you are a sweet man. I’m just not ready to date...I hope you understand".

He nodded slowly, a sad look shining in his eyes. “It’s alright. I do understand, though am a little sad. But I can take away that you had a good evening, at least".

You reach over and held his hand. “I did, you are a wonderful man".

Fate is a cruel mistress, always ruining your life at the worst time. And this was another one. That was the moment a roar of an approaching engine bounced along the street. And with its ever increasing volume, the familiar bike and rider came into view. Benny rode by, not seeming to notice your car or you at first. But those stormy blues finally zeroed in on you both. You could imagine what would be going through that pretty head of his. Not to mention the possible anger.

You’re not his girl anymore... came that little voice in the back of your head, you broke up...

Once Benny rode on, not even looking back or turning around, that told you everything. He was done, actually done. It was all over between you both, possibly never to get back together. That ache in your chest returned, and with it the want to cry. Quickly you said your goodbyes before getting into your car, and heading home. Not giving Andrew much room to speak before you were gone.

You felt the familiar warmth and sting to your eyes, but held them back for now. Driving towards your house you had hoped to see Benny and his bike out the front of your house, or in your drive way. But turning into the drive way there was nothing. Parking the car and turning it off, the first couple of tears escaped. Sitting in the driver seat you were frozen, sad to not see him here.

After a few minutes you managed to get out of the car, not very gracefully, and headed towards your front door. With every step a tear fell from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. When you were finally inside, door closed and locked, you slide to a sitting position, back against the door as you freely cried. Ugly crying and barely able to breath properly. Even with the anger and the fight being justified, but you loved and missed Benny. And the hole in your chest confirmed that.

A/N: thought I'd give you all a say in how part three goes 😊

[shit-talk-turner]

So what reason do you think he is still in a relationship with her if it isn’t happiness and love. // It’s convenient, no commitment she also does what he says. //

A'ight, bare with me but I'm going to play armchair psychologist for a sec. People say some version of this a lot and I don't think that's it at all. I think Alex is a deeply insecure person and Louise makes him feel better about himself than any of his previous girlfriends did. I would wager she doesn't really criticize him much and hypes him up a lot and is unwaveringly supportive because, let's face it, why wouldn't she be? He's massively changed her life for the better, at least according to the metrics she seems to value.

I think this is probably the relationship he has felt the most secure in precisely because it doesn't seem like he's concerned with making a big show of it like he did with other girlfriends. To me, he was clearly very insecure about his relationship with Alexa if the lyrics are anything to go by, and he was certainly very show-y about her. He clearly got insecure again when he got with Arielle (see: totally changing his appearance/persona, kind of making a spectacle of himself while still obssessively writing songs about his ex, etc), and so he made a big show of that relationship as well. He was also clearly going through some big insecure phase while with Taylor (more personal/professional insecurities than romantic ones, by the sounds of it, what with feeling lost after the success of AM, turning to a lot of drugs and partying, and then eventually going into introspective hermit mode) and so poured a lot of that into some big performative happiness which... well, we all know what that amounted to. I don't think any of that was conscious, but I think he's always sort of put on an act to convince himself more than anyone that things were ok, similar to how he seems to deal with his work by putting on characters. He needs that distance, and I think in his relationships, engaging in performative exaggerated displays of affection does that and gives him some control over the narrative. IMO he has lyrics that support this as his general approach to life as well as his work (see: Bourne Identity, a lot of TBHC, Mr. Schwartz, etc).

I know this fandom seems to interpret his relative silence about Louise as him not caring for her but I kind of always interpreted the fact that he doesn't feel the need to engage in that behaviour with her as him likely feeling pretty secure about the relationship, and where he is in life. And she probably contributes to that security a lot... which makes sense. She adores him and isn't really self-possessed enough by the looks of it for him to see her as wild, unpredictable, or in any way uncertain. Now, whether that translates into him loving her I don't know, but I think there is probably a lot of comfort having that sort of security in one's life, and that most likely does lead to a fair amount of affection for the person who caused it. That doesn't equate to happiness of course, and I agree he looks kind of glum in most photos with her, but I do think he must care for her a great deal, if only because her loyalty/reliability is a stabilizing presence in his life. If he has gone without that for most of his adult life, it makes sense that he'd put up with a lot of indifference (because I really don't think there's a world where he hates her) to not lose it.

That’s an interesting perspective

[adragonsfriend]

#amazing additions#as a buddhist myself#I often feel guilty of being a bit too biased in my citations of buddhism#and often have to remind myself not to go too far and to keep it grounded#but I absolutely agree: criticizing the Jedi is not criticizing Buddhism#the only point that I STRONGLY disagree on is the implication of Christianity being an inspiration#Lucas was very clear that the Jedi's beliefs come from Buddhism and Taoism/Daoism#the idea that Christianity was somehow an inspiration when Lucas has never claimed it to be feels very on the nose#not accusing you of doing this#But I came up in a megachurch who was famous for comparing movies to scripture#and they would find any little thread#and absolutely bend it to their narrative#so it's something I am ultimately wary about#the entire religion is based upon its constant evangelism#and I often think that comes up in spaces it has no business doing so#star wars#jedi#pro jedi

That is a fair point on the christianity--part of living in a christian culture is that it's on the brain for a lot of people, therefore people make comparisons to it that aren't really equivalent (including myself, obviously, though I hope never to the extent of that church. my mum does the same thing sometimes, and it can be quite unpleasant). I have a hard time figuring out exactly what is coming from what with star wars, partly because Lucas does sometimes use language in some interviews that really evokes christianity (the most blatant example I can recall is comparing Sidious to the Devil, but I think i remember reading some quote about one of his goals being for kids to know there's a god that loves them with language that felt very churchy--anyway, i'm not willing to investigate his interviews that thoroughly so I can't confirm how extensive it is), and because I've seen at least one other buddhist (i believe @saga-ordsmed) complain about Lucas watering down Buddhist concepts. I don't know enough to figure out which is correct, or how much of the language in interviews is a conscious attempt to reach a largely christian-cultural audience, versus an unconscious concession to SW being a little more widely inspired, especially outside Jedi philosophy specifically, if that makes sense?

I have had more than one conversation where someone more knowledgeable (usually @tai-feng) brought up something i'd tentatively compared to christianity or thought was original as actually being far more clearly inspired by a buddhist/taoist/daoist thing, so what I'm saying is i have much to learn (and if you happen have reading recommendations I would love that)

I don't and never will mind posts that criticize the Jedi, their beliefs, etc etc. I myself have pointed out the fact that many other people in the Pro Jedi community do not acknowledge or "allow" others to point out that, yes, the Jedi did have flaws as an organization, and they definitely had some very flawed members. What I do mind is when those posts (and their points) are made with a complete lack of understanding of the material being talked about. You are not building a good argument on the Jedi being wrong about attachments if you do not understand that attachment and love are not the same thing. You can be attached/develop attachment to something you fucking hate. Even then, attachment in the Star Wars universe, as in Buddhism, is defined by feelings of clinging or an inability to let things go/allow change.

You are not building a good argument on the Jedi having a slave army if you are not willing to bring up how they were put into that position, how they themselves dealt with that situation, and make an argument for what they could have done differently that takes the complexities of the entire situation into account. You are not making a good argument about the Jedi being wrong to hold Anakin's fear against him if you cannot and/or will not acknowledge that Star Wars' entire power/magic system is based upon negative emotions and our reactions to them. I could go on and on and on, but I would be beating a dead tauntaun at that point. My point is, approach the media and your arguments in good faith, with clear knowledge on what it is you are talking about, and you'll find people more receptive to hearing you out. That goes for both "sides." Just be good to each other, always.

[thegoldenhoof]

After reading multiple metas on all sides, I think the biggest problem with OFMD, specially Season 2 is that it is almost entirely built on tell don't show. Worse sometimes it is hint, don't tell or show. This is not great writing in itself but it is made worse when the POV characters are all shown to have a rather unstable relationship with reality and memory.

Stede is self-centered enough to just not acknowledge or even notice things around him that don't actively interact with his focus which is mostly just Ed. He is self-centered to the point of being delusional about other people and reality of circumstances. Season 2 sees him doing better and his rescue of the crew is his highest point. But we see this even through Season 2 in his interactions with Lucius and during Ed's apology his interactions with Zheng Yi Sao.. Basically anyone not Ed.

Ed is shown to have a negotiable understanding of truth - seen with his Ed/Blackbears/Kraken split, his "I didn't kill them, the fire killed them" dissociation with his own actions, his rewriting of the context of his own memories (Knife parade) or just straight up forgetting shit (Talent show). And yes all of these are trauma responses but that does not dismiss the fact that his perception is far from objective.

Izzy is straight up shown to be lying in his first interaction with Ed regarding Stede. He is aware of his surroundings better than Stede and Ed but he is also supremely blind to himself and his interpersonal relationships. Where Stede is delusional about the world he can be interpreted as delusional about himself.

We as the audience ofcourse can put context to their words from their actions and this worked ok in season 1 (not always but mostly and that becomes important later) But Season 2 leans much more heavily on tell without show. (Yes yes budget cuts...but that doesn't change the final product).

Where season 1 added some flavour of back story with tell dont show, Season 2 expects dialogue to do all the heavy lifting (none more than Izzy's death speech) without this dialogue being backed up by action. Worse (or better) this dialogue isn't exposition which makes the scene better but which also means more often then not it is merely hinting at a meaning.

So we have half explained dialogues, sometimes with dubious context, used as a substitute for action given to us by characters with established unreliable perspectives. The heavy lifting of understanding the meaning of these dialogues, their significance and weigtt, has then been shifted to the audience interpretation. This interpretation is of course done per individual interest and bias. This is not bad in itself but remember this has been happening since season 1. Which means the new interpretations are being built on older interpretations. Those little flavour back story hints have now become the lens through which the entire season 2 is meant to be understood.

We are all watching a different show in a sense and that us not a failure of the audience. It is, rather, an accidental byproduct (and a failure) of the show's design because of the combination of all the above factors which was (made worse by the budget cuts leaving less time/space for action)

The show then unfortunately comes down to whose POV are you accepting (and certain fans have turned this into an exercise of moralizing self righteousness.) and to what extant.

A true understanding, imo, can only be by accepting that none of their perspectives are absolutely true and trying to center the objective narrative between all of them in a way that best fits all their perspectives AND accounts for all their blind spots, rather than lift any one POV as the absolute uncritical truth. (And fans on all sides have been guilty of this)

(P.S. I think this may also have worked positively towards making this show so huge is season one because it left enough ambiguity for us all to project on it multiple complex and sometimes contradicting interpretations creating an Illusion of much greater complexity that was more in our collective heads than in the actual show.)

[milfcamilanoceda]

I feel like a lot of "Camila shouldnt have been a nerd, it should have been Manny and Camila should have been the neurotypical one." Criticism fail to take into account the inter generational trauma that exists in POC families especially POC neurodivergent families. Like the criticism boils down to this- "Luz comes across more of a jerk as she wasnt That lonely. Camila would have been more understanding of Luz if she was actually neurodivergent and would not have try and send her to the camp" and i am like no, no she wouldnt have. Neurodivergency in people of colour often goes undiagnosed especially if they are women of colour and especially if they are from older generation. And often times these older folks grow up to believe that the neurodivergent issues that they dealt with was a failure on their part rather than you know, them being neurodivergent. Which is how we get adult parents who say shit like, "Oh everybody has [a very specific symptom of a neurodivergent brain]. You just got to go through it [aka i did not get any support growing up and had to deal with this on my own]."

And this to me fits Camila and Luz. The way i interpret the problem was that it was never that Camila didnt understand Luz, but rather that she did understand her while not understanding herself. She saw her own self in Luz, her own isolation and years dealing with bullying and treated as an outcast but never stopped to examine WHY it happened to her. She didnt want Luz to go through what she went through so she turned to what worked for her, trying to change yourself to fit even if it meant hiding parts of herself. And this is ultimately what caused their relationship to falter. Add Manny's death and them being new in town further resulted in both of them, especially Luz being isolated and outcast, from the town and from each other. And ultimately them coming to an understanding, with Camila admitting her nerdy side to Luz and to herself was what helped their relationship and truly let Luz to discover what she truly want and thus hatching her palisman.

Should toh have had explored Luz's loneliness and isolation better? Absolutely! Did Camila try her best especially as a single mother? Yes! Has Camila contributed to said loneliness and isolation? Also yes! Camila to me is the opposite of Eda. Where Eda was the neurodivergent kid who grew up fighting the system to be herself, Camila was the neurodivergent kid who grew up to accept the system thus rejecting herself. Which was why Luz flourished much more and felt more accepted under Eda's tutelege than she did with Camila, and i wish this is the angle toh explored more.

And look i dont want to begrudge anyone who feels the other way and doesnt agree with me. They have the right to their own interpretation which are based on their own valid experiences. But i prefer this interpretation a lot more to theirs.

[rust-official]

This time round trying emacs is different because I'm using doom (at the brilliant recommendation of one of my partners, mentioned above), which is kind of like one of the neovim distributions but for emacs. Good defaults that match what a 25 year vim veteran wants, enough customizability to fit to what I need. Like any massively complex piece of software, it's taken a lot of getting used to, and there's always more to learn. The doom docs say that learning emacs is an adventure, and I agree.

org mode is cool! There are some plugins that simulate it in (neo)vim of course, but nothing really manages to match org. The more I learn about org, the more I love it--it is always the marquee feature which gets me playing with emacs every time I've wanted to try it. Of course, the most basic features for outlining are state of the art, even among commercial outliners like omnioutliner, everyone knows that. But it also supports cool things like tables with integrated calculator support and exports to every format you can think of and and and. org's manual is hundreds of pages and it can do so, so much. And it's just one package!

Continuing from the above, neovim can't have a plugin that does everything org mode does, for a variety of reasons. It's too mature and has too many people working on it for a few loosely-associated plugin writers to be able to accomplish the same thing. Beyond this, even neovim just doesn't have the same extensibility that emacs does. Most of neovim is still written in C with a thin layer of lua for extensions, whereas the emacs philosophy is a small core in C and the rest in elisp--a lot like atom or, more recently, visual studio code--but using a real language, of course, and not JS.

evil mode is a far better approximation of vim than I was expecting. Just about every other vi mode falters and has bugs / missing features. I've not run into any such limitations or bugs with evil, again probably due to its popularity compared to the vi modes in those other tools, which are often an afterthought (or just removed / dropped entirely, like in the new repl for python 3.13).

The emacs philosophy is as it was 30 years ago when I first tried learning it: it still expects you to open the editor when logging in and never close it. As such it has better tools for managing lots of open buffers (I particularly like ibuffer, it mostly approximates vim's bufexplorer plugin, but it's missing a few things from vim or I don't know about them yet; will be looking at the manual).

There's seemingly a package for everything, and often a few different ones for the same thing. The "emacs is my operating system" mantra makes a lot of sense when viewed from this angle. Lots of things have good documentation, too, and of course, as I said above, so much more is possible in emacs than neovim.

doom's out of the box LSP support seems nicer than neovim's. I'm sure I could get similar results with configuring neovim, perhaps with more plugins or config, but things just feel more robust right from the start. I still need more time to evaluate this, as I've spent the least amount of time editing code. Mostly I've been focusing on editing documents with org mode and the occasional dabbling with magit for doing git stuff. magit is quite nice and very mature; I know it'll work quite well for managing code repos once I'm more comfortable with emacs as a code editor. I have lots of custom keybindings for neovim's LSP support that I'll need to relearn if I want to use emacs as my code editor.

One criticism I do have is that none of the emacs terminal emulators I've tried work well with vi keybindings in my shell; when I press esc to enter normal mode in the shell, the buffer for the terminal emulator goes into evil's normal mode. There may be a way to fix it, but I've not looked into it yet.

Am I going to switch? I don't know. I'm giving it an honest try, a more honest try than I have in the past, and having someone to ask questions is proving absolutely critical. I can't answer this question right now. Maybe? I cannot say how helpful evil has been with this. Modal editing is how my brain works and I don't think I'd be able to learn non-modal editing.

Given how @neovim-official hates me (see here) I have started learning @emacs-unofficial , using @doom-official and hence @emacs-evil-mode.

(this is not entirely a shitpost, one of my partners has been showing me around, largely for org mode but I've always been curious. Back when I got my start with Unix/Linux in the late 90s on a shell provider, emacs was the first editor I tried, but it was so slow to start back then that I switched to vim. How things would've been different for me if computers were faster when I started!)