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nothankyousirr · 3 years ago

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my opinions on the different mbti types (from an intj)

enfp - you can be good to hang around in moderation. i appreciate your charitable nature; how you aren’t one to pass judgement, but that also leads to a lack in understanding one’s depth. i appreciate how easy it is to befriend you, you’re able to keep the conversation without any expectations on my part to contribute, and although you can be stupid and impulsive, it’s to a point where it’s almost fascinating, which makes it somehow nice to be in your presence. in moderation, of course. you can be very draining at some points.

entp - you’re funny to watch, but actually conversing with you can be...confusing? i do appreciate your ability to see things from other perspectives, but sometimes you need to take a step back and understand the overall reasons behind those perspectives. confidence is important, but don’t get too over zealous, we all have things to improve on.

enfj - i cannot understand you. at all. you’re so nice, it seems like you have some sort of ulterior motives. i do not trust you, you are just so warm i feel like i’m being judged every time i talk with you, or are even in the same room as you. your general demeanor is just so kind it’s threatening, you need to be less optimistic.

entj - a lot of people hate you, which i can understand on their part, but i appreciate your approach to things. with every entj i’ve met, no matter my friend’s/peer’s opinion, we’ve always had a mutual understanding of some sorts. although, i do see a lot of naivety; which i’m 99.9% sure none of you will ever admit. i admire your drive, your confidence, and things along those lines, but some words of advice; you can’t change anyone. as hard as you try, some people are just stuck the way they are, unfortunately. it’s something i’ve had to learn as well, but a lesson i think would do you well.

infp - you are adorably killing yourselves with every move; like small puppy who’s favorite toy just happens to be laid perfectly in the middle of ongoing traffic. your impulsivity hurts me deep inside. please, just try to be aware of your surroundings, at least a little. i know, ironic coming from me, but it’s all i could ask. think out your actions, just a bit. i know life may suck, but take it upon yourself to change that, instead of just falling victim to your own hurt. i wish i could just pick you up and live your life for you, it hurts to see you do these things.

intp - i like you. your humor is refreshing as well as your insight, you just cannot stay organized. you take pride in your discombobulation; your lack of care, which confuses me. because of that, it’s hard to empathize with you when you have troubles, because it could’ve been easily prevented. it makes me upset for you when i see you do this. it doesn’t come from a place of trying to overly pressure you, rather a place of care. i hope that can be acknowledged.

infj - i enjoy your presence, you are just are hard to get. i always seem to upset you in some way, so i implore you to be better at communicating those things. your productivity and insight is very much appreciated, i feel your anxiety is holding you back. we all experience anxiety, it’s a valid human emotion, of course, but don’t let it dictate your life. confidence is important, you’re allowed to acknowledge your accomplishments. also, i implore you to think deeper in terms of morality. why do you believe those things? what is the axiomatic rout of those morals? by understanding that, you gain a better understanding of the people around you. the people you deem to be bad, may think they’re good by their own definition.

intj - from one intj to another, i feel like there is a lot to grow on. we tend to be very book-smart, but oblivious when it comes to how people work, including ourselves, but just because those things are acknowledged from mbti posts and whatnot, that does not give any excuse to avoid improvement. knowledge is important if we ever want to achieve our goals, and having that insight can make things a lot easier. as much as it seems like time is easily slipping away from us, taking control and trying to pick up on those details we may normally be ignoring, may teach us something valuable. it’s also important to take care of ourselves. i find routines are an easy way to remember to do so. having designated times for everything helps maximize the amount of time to get things done, while also taking care of your needs. and give yourself breaks. having fun, relaxing, etc. can also be productive in itself. not everything that’s productive isn’t what’s directly seen as such.

esfp - you can be a lot. its very hard for me to truly understand you, and i get the impression that you feel the same about me. i feel like there’s a lot of miscommunication. we’re practically complete opposites, not just literally (intj-esfp) but in practice as well. what you find fun and what i find fun is so drastically different from one another, i feel like it’s impossible to truly have a meaningful time with each other. from both parties.

estp - i like your confidence. your humor as well. i feel like we get along quite well, although it can be hard at some points because i tend to live in the future a lot, while you’re the “go with the flow” type. that is appreciated, though, and i feel like there’s a lot to teach each other. that’s just a matter of taking the time to communicate with one-another and be understanding.

esfj - i like you, from the sidelines. i appreciate the way you think, i’m just not sure if that is reciprocated. i tend to come of very strong, which i think is quite anxiety inducing for you, but you’re very passionate about the things you enjoy. i do think it’s important for you to have more insight, though. the world is vast, and an understanding of it can be very beneficial to you.

estj - your drive is commendable. you’re very confident, know what you want, which i appreciate. i do think it’s important to take a step to think about things further to acknowledge the nuances in things, instead of dismissing them as confusing. not everything is as blunt as you’d like, and may take a bit of critical thinking to truly understand. things happen, yes, but why may they do that? is there anyway to prevent the things you don’t like from happening? those questions are something i think are important to keep in mind.

isfp - for lack of a more kinder way of saying this, i dislike you. i wouldn’t go as far as to say i hate you, but i am very frustrated with you. you tend to dismiss things for the main reason of someone just “being that way” without taking into account any other factors that may come into play for that behavior. with the isfps i’ve met, you’ve seen my behaviors as “trying too hard to be a certain way” or “pretentious” without truly understanding why i act the way i do. it gets frustrating. your very confident, but in thoughts that are lacking in insight. take a second to learn about what you’re talking about before you say things. for my own sanity.

istp - even though you seem like you’re about to kill yourself with your approach to things, you always some how get it done, which is respectable, yet fascinating. you’re surprisingly very fun, even though from the outside i wouldn’t think we’d be at all close friends. you’re not one for deep conversation, rather the kind of conversation that always leave’s me feeling refreshed. it’s important to sometimes take a break, and you’re the type of person that i can easily have that with.

isfj - you’re very adorable. your moral standpoint to most things can be a bit frustrating at some points, but you make up for it with your kind demeanor; a genuine kindness as well. your happiness and drive to help people is a commendable quality, just don’t let people walk all over you. you tend to be a bit too charitable, when sometimes it’s okay to recognize that people just aren’t the right match for you. it’s okay to take care of yourself. i know i come off strong and that can be a bit intimidating, but i promise that it comes from a place of care. be confident in yourself. to truly be able to take care of the people around you, you need to take care of yourself first.

istj - i respect you and your approach to things. i think there are a lot of things we can learn from one another. your ability to easily figure things out from your surroundings is admirable, and it’s interesting the way your mind works. i haven’t met many istjs (of my knowledge) but i think we’d get along quite well from the information given to me.

#mbti #myers briggs #enfp #entp #enfj #entj #infp #intp #infj #intj #esfp #estp #esfj #estj #isfp #istp #isfj #istj #16 personality types #personality #cognitive functions

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hpalways · 4 years ago

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Commissions || Childe

UNPREDICTABLE people were like magnets to you, somehow always managing to show up. Usually, you would avoid them at any given chance, preventing further interactions from occurring. As an adventurer, you didn't work for the thrill, but rather for the money. That meant that deep inside, you longed for a peaceful life, which was the main reason why there were certain beings that shouldn't exist in your reality. So how did it go oh-so-terrible with Tartaglia?

You first met Tartaglia -- also known as Childe -- in Liyue Harbor when you were at a stall to buy food. You had a few commissions in tail, waiting to be resolved for the day. But first, food was on your mind. It wouldn't do any good to fight hilichurls and whatnot with an empty stomach. As you were about to dig into your trouser's pockets to find any mora, a man stepped up in front of you, blocking the way. Assuming that he was budging you in line, you opened your mouth to protest, but the words faltered to come out when the male whirled around to face you.

Deep, blue eyes stared into your soul, twinkling mischievously... and somehow, you couldn't read into them. Fiery, orange hair accompanied his features, going unexpectedly well with the blue. Smiling at you crookedly, he saluted you with a gloved hand. A red mask was adorned on the side of his head, matching the red details on his overall gray outfit. He was very tall and attractive -- taking you momentarily off guard.

"I'll pay for your meal. My treat," he easily told you, making a show of flashing the lump of mora in his hands. He even went as far as to swing his arm around your shoulders like the two of you were friends. The warm, close contact nearly caused you to freeze in place, getting flustered all over. What the hell was happening?

"Oh... sure," you uttered, staring blankly at him. Well, there was no use turning him down. The word treat was enough to hook and wheel you in.

"What's your name?" he inquired in a friendly manner, lugging you along as if you were a ragged doll through the waiting line.

Hesitating to answer for a second, you were beginning to look stupid under his expecting gaze. There was a reason though: you were wary of strangers, having learned that the hard way when you encountered Treasure Hoarders one time. But seeing how amused this man was by your internal debate, you pushed the doubts away and decided to go for it. "I'm [Y/N]. You?"

"Lovely name befitting for a lovely person," he mused, leaving you embarrassed. "I'm Childe."

It was then your turn to order. Letting his arm around you go, he straightened up and nudged you ahead. The warmth evaporated from you and you suddenly wished for his touch again. Horrified by your thoughts, you brushed them away and stepped up to the front, telling the chef your order.

Once that was done with and the food was received, you sat down at a table outside. Three whole dishes filled of food, you wasted no time to dive into them, the steamy aroma wafting into the air. Mouthful of food, you almost choked when you found the so-called Childe sitting down in front of you. Coughing for a good minute or two, you suffered as he watched you in enjoyment. When you could catch your breath, you averted your gaze to the table. Oh god, you wished you could bury yourself before you could humiliate yourself any further. He shouldn't have followed you here.

"I'm surprised you bought three whole dishes for yourself," he pointed out, taking delight in teasing you.

You scowled and looked at him, the shameful emotion fading away. "Are you insinuating something?" you asked, squinting at him. He rose his brows in surprise, quickly shaking his head to explain he meant no harm. Sighing, you decided to go all out then. If he already knew your name, what difference would it make to share a few more things about yourself? Besides, this was Liyue Harbor we're talking about; no one was that desperate to seek out trouble so publicly. "I'm an adventurer and I also do commissions. Fighting takes up a lot of my energy, so only one meal wouldn't suffice."

Something swirled in his eyes -- unknown and still just as unreadable. However, you paid no mind to it, too absorbed by the food and the conversation to notice. Maybe this was where it went wrong. "An adventurer?" he echoed, his voice breathless. His ears seemingly perked up and he leaned forward in his seat, anxious to hear more. "What would you say if I tagged along with you today?"

It was shocking to hear that, but eventually, you accepted his self-invitation and brought him along to the locations. Setting off by foot, the two of continued onward with full bellies and enough energy to last several hours. The land stretched for miles and miles, scaping the grounds of hills, mountains, rivers, and meadows. Hogs ran through the trees and birds soared in the skies. Monsters rolled around in the dust, waiting to ambush anybody in the way. The sun beating down upon your backs and the weather a little too warm for liking, it was a difficult trek, but nothing close to impossible for an adventurer.

The fighting began when the destination to a pack of hilichurls appeared on sight. Unsheathing your blade, you immediately attacked them, continuously slashing away until they were entirely cleaned up. Breathing heavily with sweat beading your forehead, you did all the dirty work as Childe inspected from the side, his eye following your every move.

It wasn't easy though. You struggled at some areas, sometimes missing them or getting slightly injured by their own weapons. It was sloppy and flawed, for you were not a skilled swordsman, born without the talent and money. Anyway, it didn't matter much; as long as you did the job, that was what mattered.

The next one took place near the mountains. Insuring that a wagon would be delivered somewhere safely, you had to fend off more monsters, circling around the large transport tirelessly to prevent any damage. While you were doing so, the orange haired male lounged on top of the-said wagon, relaxed and watching the battle beneath him.

Afterwards, it was of simple commissions, with no sword involved. On the last one and feeding ducks for a little kid you accidentally offended, you let out a yawn, ready to go home and sleep everything off. Your partner for the day was also there, crouching down beside the lake's bank, tossing the wheat to the little creatures. Turning his head to the side, he gave you a small smile. Unlike you, he was widely awake and full of energy -- you expected that much, considering he didn't do anything to help you.

"I enjoyed traveling around with you today, [Y/N]," he said, straightening himself up until he returned to being taller than you.

Minus the part where he was completely useless to you, you couldn't help but admit that it was enjoyable to have him him around. His cheery persona helped to distract you from your dislike with the job, filling the silence with easy discussion about basically anything. "It was fun... I suppose," you responded, letting out yet another yawn.

"You know, you could've asked me help. It would've been less straining for you," he pointed out.

You swerved your head at the mention of this, flabbergasted with your mouth hung open like a gaping fish. "You can fight?!" You shot up from where you sat, stepping up to a half-laughing, half-scared Childe. He nodded slowly and you rubbed your eyes harshly, curses running through your head. "And you didn't think to tell me that until now?"

He shrugged, drinking in your angered expression. No ounce of remorse shown in his features, he was pleased to get a rise out of you. Goddammit, this guy was going to be the death of you. "You never asked."

Not replying to him, you faced the other way and crossed your arms, brooding like a kid after a tantrum.

"Aw, don't be mad at me," he cooed, petting your [h/c] head endearingly. "Hey, are you thinking of improving your swordsmanship?"

Originally planning to give him the silent treatment, you could barely even hold on to the promise for a minute. His question intrigued you and you began to wonder why he was asking you something like that. "No, not really," you answered.

"Why not?"

"It's not necessary. My level is adequate for the commissions I take on. It's not like I'm striving to be anything legendary... that's just asking for a death sentence."

His forehead furrowed and a darkened gaze was aimed at you. He seemed to want to say a lot of things, yet couldn't find the words to them. Was he... mad at you for some unknown reason? Almost expecting a big lecture from him, you were shocked to hear what he said instead. "You have potential though."

That was where you parted from Tartaglia that young evening, but by no means was that the last time you were to see him.

You would run into him at Liyue Harbor, in Mondstadt, or sometimes in your travels as an adventurer. Each time you would welcome him warmly, always glad to have his company. He was seriously growing on you, become a friend that distracted you from the hardships of the cold reality. He brightened the atmosphere wherever he went, always the charismatic type, wooing anyone with a tip of a smile.

Of course, you knew he was a Harbringer; he never made a show of hiding it, so you were acknowledged of this pretty much immediately. Hearing the gossip and rumors of the Fatui, you understood that the organization was hella sketchy, but it didn't shine a bad light on Childe at all. You wanted to put your hopes in him, to give him the benefit of doubt. He was helpful so far and your life was peaceful with him around -- which was the one thing you wished for.

Or maybe it was because you had fallen for him already.

At least for the first month or so, everything passed through wonderfully. The two of you were like partners in crime, back to back and supportive of the other. The amount times you would stroll through the meadows and just talk to the man was becoming countless. It began to be something you were looking forward to: to have the time to get to know him even better, from his family to the simplest of facts about him.

It was too good to be true. As the saying goes, nothing lasts forever.

You should have never lowered your guard down. Not when you were found laying on the grimy grounds of a domain, beaten and bloodied. Not when the man you supposedly loved was towering in front of you, his deep blue eyes glowering in lust for violence. Not when your peaceful life was shattered to pieces. Childe couldn't control it any longer that day. He wanted to battle you out, to cause chaos and havoc. Why? You didn't understand... he was your friend. This wasn't what friends do. Nonetheless, he was serious about this declaration.

He spat at the ground, annoyed you didn't put up a greater fight. Not at all worried about your wounds, he paced around the chamber, pulling at his messy locks. "Didn't I say you had potential?! You should've tried harder."

You soon lost consciousness, too exhausted and pained to do anything else. The next time you awoken, you were in Mondstadt, getting healed by Barbara. Tartaglia was no where to be seen, as he ran off earlier without telling anyone of his whereabouts. That was the last time you saw him for a while...

Everything that happened was the past, occurring a few months ago. And here you were, in the present, back to the same life you had before meeting Childe. You still disliked the same things, whether that'd be fighting, unpredictable people, or your job. Day after day, you worked to gain money for a living, hating every moment of it. It was so normal that sometimes you wondered if you may have imagined the certain Fatui man up.

Walking through the mountainous parts of Liyue, you were on a hunt for resources. Hoping to stumble upon a mine and get done with the work as soon as possible, it was unfortunate that the weather hated you.

Droplets fell from the sky and the clouds darkened the world. Rain thrummed against the earth, soaking your clothes within a few minutes. They stuck to your skin, turning uncomfortable and cold. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you quickened your pace, desperate to find shelter for the time being. Shit, shit, shit. You hated the life of an adventurer so much--

Too blurry to watch where you were going, you hit a hard surface in front of you. Rather than a hard surface, it was actually a person. Squinting and wiping the droplets from your eyes, you cringed when you saw who it was. It was the one and only Childe, looking the same as always.

Wet orange locks somehow making him more attractive than he already was, he was as soaked as you were. The clothes defined his body and you frantically stopped yourself staring at it any further.

"[Y/N]," he breathed out, looking unsure. The sound of his voice snapped you back to life and fury filled the pits of your stomach. Seething in spot, the hands at your sides clenched tightly. He had taken your trust and ruined it -- he was nothing but a fucking bastard.

He took a few steps forward, growing nearer, his blue beautiful hues full of regret. You hated that he dared show himself up, wearing that damn look as if you would ever forgive him. Pulling your hand back without thinking, you laid it across his cheek, harsh at the contact. He touched his red cheek in awe, lowering his head in shame.

"I deserved that," he whispered, smiling at you sadly.

"You do," you muttered.

Despite how angry you were at him, there was this twisted desire to kiss him. Feelings were confusing, always making a situation more complicated than it should be.

Leaning forward, you locked lips with his. His body had stiffened in bewilderment, but he soon returned the kiss, wrapping his steady arms around yourself. Digging your fingers into his hair, you sighed in between breaths and listened to your racing heart. He tasted like salt and the soil beneath you. He was the definition of unpredictable, but you couldn't get enough of him. He brought destruction in the paths he walked on and had the continuous yearning for war. He was everything you were not and you hated him for it.

His lips trailed away from your own, peppering kisses on your jawline, causing you to gulp. He was swallowing you whole, taking in everything about you to memorize. His touch was intoxicating, the finger tips leaving a mark on your tender skin. "Let's never see each other again after this," you told him. He didn't respond as he continued to bruise your neck. "I hate you, Childe. I fucking hate you, you bastard."

Tears welled out of your eyes, mixing together with the tears from the gods, unable to be distinguished.

He lifted his head and gave you one last long kiss. Your insides were this close to bursting, butterflies fluttering horrendously like a beast within you. Soft lashes flitted and he stared at you with understanding. He was going to listen to your wish; he would never show himself up again.

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kuiperblog · 3 years ago

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Deathloop sure is a video game

Every October, there's pop-up entertainment venues like "haunted houses" (or other haunted attractions) that attempt to artificially recreate the motifs common in horror movies, complete with live actors who are dressed as vampires or zombies or serial killers or whatever who leap out and scare the guests who squeal in delight, if only because it gives them an excuse to tightly cling to their partner. It's more exciting than going to a horror movie, because it's a more tactile experience, so you're mostly just there to experience the various horror motifs without being concerned about a plot.

The thing is, there are actual horror movies that are set in haunted attractions. And while this does make for some fun early reveals (like when the teenagers laugh at the knife-wielding man who they assume is an actor and part of the attraction, only to realize that he's actually a homicidal madman), the very idea of a horror movie set in a haunted house kind of feels like cheating. Haunted attractions are, in a way, a simulacrum of a horror movie, which I suppose is an odd thing to say considering that haunted attractions are real and the events in horror movies are not, but I think that is the main level on which most haunted attractions are designed: a haunted attraction is a "horror movie IRL," so to then make that the setting of your horror movie “horror movie IRL but in a movie” is like a simulacrum of a simulacrum. It’s shortcutting past the part where you would ordinarily come up with some kind of lore-based explanation for why the teenagers are hanging out in a creepy house and why there’s a demented killer or vampires or whatever who are trying to kill them.

I sort of feel this way about one of the first levels I played in Deathloop, which is a video game both in medium and form. It's a bit like Dishonored (one of Arkane's earlier titles) in the sense that the core objectives boil down to identifying an assassination target, and hunting them down in their mansion or laboratory or whatever. The first target I assassinated was a fellow by the name of Charlie Montague, who is obsessed with games, and has populated a section of the world where you can speed-run an obstacle course to be rewarded with a gun, because this is a first-person shooter video game that is set on murder island, where everyone's favorite hobby is killing each other because they’re in a timeloop where everyone will revive the next day. However, when I found Charlie Montague, he was in the middle of a LARP session. This is literally how the game describes it: Charlie is hosting a game where he invites guests to participate in a game somewhat akin to a murder mystery, or maybe more like Among Us. When I arrived, Charlie announced over the loudspeaker to all of his guests that the killer monster (me) had arrived, and the objective was now for them to hunt me down. (I, for my part, did my best to avoid the guests, but I had to gun down the entire party before finally getting to Charlie at the top floor.)

So, this is a video game level that felt very much like a video game level. Which I don't really mean as a knock against it -- it was a fun environment, I had fun hunting down the game designer Charlie Montague and murdering his LARPing buddies, and the environment was set up in a way that made the confrontation with Charlie himself interesting, since Charlie possesses the blink power that lets him teleport across gaps and between floors. But it kind of feels like cheating to have a video game level where the setting premise is, as explained by the game's fiction, literally a game created by a game designer (as opposed to trying to sell you on the idea that the level you're traipsing through is just some rich dude's mansion, or a military base, or whatever). It is the video game equivalent of setting your horror movie in a haunted house attraction.

As an Arkane Studios fan (who started with 2006's Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, and counts Dishonored among my personal top 10 games of all time), I quite enjoyed Deathloop. But it is by far the most video game video game that they've ever released.

Games like Dishonored and Prey (2017) exist in what is sometimes described as the "immersive sim" genre, where there's a big emphasis on player choice and giving the players a bunch of tools to approach objectives without giving them a prescribed route through the game. Dishonored pushes you in the direction of being stealthy and quiet (with a "chaos" system that causes the world to become more desolate if you kill too many enemies in each level), but there are many routes through the levels -- and sometimes, you'll find your way to an objective through what feels like it isn't a prescribed "route" at all. The objectives are often quite simple -- "infiltrate, kill a dude, exfiltrate" -- but a level that could be completed in just a few minutes might take an hour to complete the first time you play it as you spend time scoping out the target, gradually getting a feel for the environment and learning which parts of the level have lots of enemies and which parts are safe and easy to stealth your way through.

The immersive sim's emphasis on carving your own way through levels leads to a phenomenon where a lot of the progression that you make is "meta" progression that exists entirely outside of your avatar -- you might spend an hour prowling around a level, and your character hasn't gotten any stronger (apart from maybe finding a few optional collectibles), but you as a player have "leveled up" to the point that you now know the level like the back of your hand, which is how you have people who spend hours exploring a level in Hitman so that they can do a perfect 5-minute speedrun of that level.

Sometimes, this sense of "meta-progression" is further emphasized by making some of the collectibles information that you as a player can store. I remember a part in Dishonored where I found a locked safe, and I had to root around the game environment and find the code to the safe before I could come back and get the goodie inside. But if I wanted to, I could write that number down so that on any subsequent playthrough, I could just go right to the safe and open it right away -- which feels a bit like cheating, but it's no less cheating than sprinting through a specific route through a level because I know from previous playthroughs that the path I'm taking has no guards.

Deathloop isn't quite like that: the game is filled with combinations and whatnot (in one "puzzle" I had to insert specifically-labeled tapes into a machine in a specific order), but all of these are generated randomly: you can't take that information with you across playthroughs, and you can't look the number up in a walkthrough like some older immersive sims would let you do. But Deathloop takes this meta progression and makes it actual progression: it's a time-loop story, and your character (Colt) remembers everything that he encounters across playthrough, so when you find the combination to a door, Colt will make a mental note of it (no need to bust out your pen and paper), and the next time you come to a locked door that requires that combination, you don't even have to punch in the numbers: just hold the triangle button on your Playstation controller and Colt will automatically punch in the numbers that he learned during an earlier loop.

Deathloop is full of little things like this that, on first glance, almost just feel like QoL improvements. But there's something that feels very different about how things are done in Deathloop: in gameplay terms, it basically boils down to, "Go to this place and press square to read the password, then go to this other place and unlock the door," which is really not that different from "go to this place and press square to pick up the key, then go to this other place to unlock the door." The "passwords" that exist throughout this game are basically just keys that Colt can store in his brain and take with him whenever you advance to the next loop.

And to be clear, that's not necessarily a *bad* thing. In fact, immersive sims are kind of a niche genre that don't have a very big audience, so anything that helps streamline and make it more like, well, what you'd expect from a "video game," is probably going to make the game accessible to a lot more people. And they streamline a *lot* in this game. The game is all about planning the "perfect loop" where you manage to kill the 8 big baddies in a single day, and everything before that point is just preparing for that final loop. Even though that seems like an abstract thing that might require you to hold a bunch of disparate information in your head, the game is actually *really* good at making it so that Colt is already mentally mapping out the game plan as you go, to the point where you can just go into the quest book, select a thread, and then just follow the waypoints. Colt is planning for the "perfect loop" and collecting all the information he needs (including passwords, and memorizing information about how to get certain bosses to go to certain areas where they'll be vulnerable), and Colt is so good at remembering these things that the player never has to: you can play the entire game from start to finish just by traveling from waypoint to waypoint and stealthing or shooting your way past anything that stands in your way.

That is, of course, incredibly reductive. The process of getting from point A to point B in Deathloop is fun for the same reason that getting from point A to point B is fun in any other game. The guns feel good to shoot, the levels are interesting to navigate, and the game lets you earn the ability to take certain pieces of gear with you between loops so it always feels like there's forward progression. But I think that there's a critical thing that's missing:

Immersive sims aren't just about getting from point A to point B. Before you can get to point B, you have to discover where point B is. *Where* in this mansion is the assassination target? Better spend some time skulking around and listening to his staff gossip about his daily habits so you know which parts of the mansion he's likely to appear in. Oh wait, I don't want to just get in the same room with this guy, I want to get myself in the same room with him *when he's not surrounded by his guards*. How do I do that? Better do some more snooping. And in a sense, Deathloop *sort* of does this. Before you can follow the waypoint objective marker to your target, you have to find out where they are. But the "find out where they are" is often, "follow this *other* waypoint objective marker to find the slip of paper that tells you where they're going to be, at which point you can follow the waypoint objective marker to their exact location!"

And to be fair to Deathloop, it's not *all* like that. There are some times where the game sort of just points you in the right direction and leaves you to figure it out, like one dude who has hosted a masquerade party where he and his guests are all wearing the same masks, and so you have to figure out a way to ferret him out. (Or you can just murder everyone at the party to figure it out by process of elimination -- which is actually much easier said than done, because this is murder island and everybody is packing heat, and this is an exclusive party so his guests are the type of people who carry around heavy weapons.)

Another way that Deathloop takes the "meta progression" inherent to immersive sims and makes it explicit in-game progression is by having a time loop where you can encounter and kill the same targets over and over again. That's the kind of thing that tends to happen in immersive sims across multiple playthroughs -- Hitman doesn't *require* you to play each level multiple times, but you generally want to, because each level is filled with tons of different routes to explore and different ways to deal with each of the targets. But that's all on the player: it's not as if in the fiction of the Hitman universe, Agent 47 is repeatedly murdering a bunch of people who magically revive so that he can kill them again, whereas in Deathloop, that is very explicitly what is happening.

The thing is, because Deathloop is kind of designed with the assumption that you'll kill each target multiple times, the first time you encounter them and blow their head off, it doesn't feel like the grand emotional climax. In fact, in a way, it feels like the *start* of a relationship. "Goodbye, Charlie Montague. I hardly knew ye. But I'm sure I'll know you better by the third time I'm leaving your LARPing session with that slab upgrade you're carrying." I feel like that robs the kills of some of their impact, and maybe that's just inherent to what kind of game this is: in Dishonored, you feel as though over the course of a level, you get to know your target as you snoop through their quarters, overhear what their staff have to say about them, read the journals of their rivals while looking for possible weaknesses, and so on. Because it's a stealth game, it makes sense to hide in the background and learn about their life. Stalking a character through a level while waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike can actually feel incredibly intimate, because as the eponymous Visible Man in Chuck Klosterman’s novel says, to truly know who someone is, you have to see them when they’re alone at home; their behavior anywhere else is just a performance.

But when I'm chasing down Charlie Montague with an SMG in one hand and a pistol in the other, the only thing I really know about him is what he's announcing over the loudspeaker. (I don't really remember exactly what he said, but the subtext is that he's mentally unstable, and he's obsessed with games.) And even though Charlie Montague was shouting at me what kind of person he said, I feel like I never really got to *know* him like I got to know some targets in Dishonored. In fact, the moments when I got to know Charlie best weren't when he was yelling at my over the loudspeaker as I ran through his level as Shooty McFPS guy, but the moments when I got to read his notes or chat correspondence (which is *entirely optional*, because even if I don't learn the relevant facts from Charlie Montague's notes, Cole will -- and he'll verbally narrate the cliffsnotes version of them as I'm headed to the next objective)

Despite feeling like a clear descendant of Arkane’s earlier titles, Deathloop feels neither "immersive" nor "sim." It's constantly doing things that remind me that I'm playing a video game -- which, to be clear, is not a bad thing! It’s fun to be Shooty McFPS guy without worrying about hiding guards bodies or making noise. More than any other Arkane Studios game, it does everything it can to minimize player frustration, whether that means feeling lost, or feeling like you're not making forward progress, or feeling like your progress is being gated by a huge spike in difficulty.

Dishonored is a game that rewards patience. This is one of my favorite things about it, but the fact that it rewards patience so generously means that it also *asks* patience of the player in order to get its best moments, which means that some players will never experience them. Deathloop asks very little from the player. Deathloop is a very "even" and "smooth" experience, but that's both for better and for worse. The lows aren't as low, but the highs aren't nearly as high. Deathloop is a good game. And it will probably be a "good game" to a greater number of people than Arkane's previous titles, but it didn’t have nearly the same impact on me.

Anyway, more than anything, my time with Deathloop has convinced that I should go back and play Prey (2017).

#deathloop #arkane studios #I apologize for such a long letter #dishonored #prey 2017 #immersive sim #video games

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punemy-spotted · 3 years ago

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Hi your stories are so frigging amazing!!! You're now one of my favs. Do you have any tips on writing smut👉👈

Hi there! I’m so so glad you like my work! Lemme just. Kiss you gently on the forehead, you sweet, sweet bean.

And honestly! I wish I had more to say. I’m... new, to owning my sexuality — I considered myself to be completely uninterested in sex for a long, long time, and only just came to terms with it being a part of my life that I could accept or enjoy.

Learning to write smut has basically come from reading it, and a lot of it! There’s incredible writers on the platform, some who indulge in darker themes and some who don’t, but all of them have incredible writing styles and reading their works — smut, angst, smangst, whatever it may be — inspires me.

A lot of it is understanding what you like, and also being authentic with it. There’s a time and a place for flowery language, as well as a time and a place to sound like David Attenborough describing mating rituals. You don’t have to go into romance novel levels of dancing around the subject, but also... enjoy what you write. You can only describe a person’s bits so many ways and make it sound sexy, so think back on the authors you enjoy and the work you enjoy from them! Just. You know, don’t plagiarize their content wholesale. There is a distinct difference between improving your writing through the consumption of media you enjoy and outright stealing content.

If I tried to give a recommendation list I’d be listing every single author under my #to-read tag on my blog and this answer would be a mile long. The bottomline is, the more content you consume, the more openly accepting you are about your sexuality and your enjoyment of the content, and the more you just try to have fun with it, the easier writing smut will be. One of the best things about fanfiction and writing on tumblr or Ao3 is that... we don’t have censors. There’s no content guides here. No one is saying we have to dance around the subject and make it awkward because of publishing guides or whatnot — which is often why some romance novels are clunky, awkward reads. There’s just a bunch of people having fun and enjoying their thirst.

Other writers, I’d love your two-cents here — what helped you?

#anonymous #asked and answered #I'm so sorry I rambled on for so long #smut is such a THING but I'm glad y'all think I write it well cuz I'm just flailing #anonymous asks

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mimondee · 3 years ago

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Hi! I saw your natal reading post so I thought I give it a go, here’s my chart. I hope you have fun with it and take your time with it :) (and absolutely do not hold back)

Hey there @oqaoid-814! Thank you for requesting a free reading!

Starting this by mentioning that if something is completely inaccurate, feel free to point it out as that will help me improve my knowledge and approach. Feedback is also very much appreciated.

Without further ado, let's begin!

I'll start talking about your fire trine and how you have a lot of fire energy going on in your chart. This fire trine happens between Saturn-Mars-Pluto. Usually, a grand trine indicates a very harmonious energy flow, the problem being that you can be way too comfy with it so you don't exactly use what the trine represents. That's why you need something to challenge the trine somehow. In your case though, this problem doesn't exist since part of the trine is Mars and Saturn which I feel like push this trine a lot. What a fire trine shows is that you're active, enthusiastic, full of energy and optimism. This trine is happening between 1-5-9, which are seen as "fire houses", so it continues to emphasize the previously mentioned traits. It also shows that you may dream about making your ideals/ideas come true, as you want to leave your mark on the world itself.

On the same note, having too much fire points out that you're interested in ways to "promote" yourself, that you're very passionate about things, and have a lot of drive and energy to chase what you want. The problem, though, is that since you don't have much earth in your chart, you end up chasing all of these things and whatnot, but you may struggle with rooting down those things, ensuring that they're stable. One interesting thing is that your Midheaven is in Taurus and your Moon in Virgo, pointing out that you want to pursue/have a stable path in life that has a solid foundation as that will bring you the safety and emotional security that you need (Moon). It's especially connected with matters such as finances, what you own and don't own, but also your self-esteem and values.

I think a good way of putting this would be: just because you're passionate and driven to go after you want, if that action doesn't bring you some sense of safety, you're either losing motivation to chase it or you're chasing it regardless, which can lead to you being reckless and taking unnecessary risks at times.

Another element that ties in with what I've mentioned above is the mutable t-square that's happening between Moon-Jupiter-Uranus. It points out that you're inclined towards being a people-person, having an easier time connecting with people compared to others. Challenge is that if you hesitate too much on some things, it's going to hold you back. And since Jupiter is the focus planet here, these matters are even more emphasized. Adding here that your dominant quality is mutable, therefore you don't have difficulties with adapting, may be quite good with learnings new things (though with Mercury retrograde you're putting some time into the learning process), and having the ability to use the bare minimum, if you have to, to get things done.

Virgo Moon in the 2nd house: First of all, Virgo Moon is about wanting security, being critical about your feelings but also others, accepting what is needed, and the ability to adapt accordingly. On the other hand, you may overdo it by trying to achieve perfection in what you do and taking your critical nature to the next level. With it being in the 2nd house, it points to you once again that you need stability and security, especially if it's connected to finances. You may also be attached to what you own while also connecting your values and worth to those "possessions". One other thing I want to mention here is that you may find yourself in situations where the money comes from where you expect them the least.

Saturn conjunct Ascendant: you may have a "professional/business-like" approach to new things and people. This one here can give you a serious vibe too. Emphasizes what your Virgo Moon does as well, which is self-criticism.

Venus conjunct Saturn: this one is talking about, that despite you being loyal, enjoying the social status, and wanting security, you may also tend to hold back on showing your affection. Sometimes it may be difficult for you to go with the flow and just say what you feel without thinking too much about it.

The 2 above tie in with Chiron and Neptune in 7th house, where Chiron represents that you may fear sharing who you are and everything else that makes you with others, maybe even going the extra mile to hide this fear by pretending to be detached, and Neptune emphasizing the emotional side of relationships, at times making you expect too much from other people. Platonic relationships can be a thing here.

I hope this will be useful to you in some way. Again, thank you for requesting a free reading! ��

- Dee✨

#oqaoid-814 #astrology #astrology free reading #natal chart #free readings #natal chart reading #birth chart #astrology observations #astro community #astro asks #dee:freereading

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sepublic · 4 years ago

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Unpopular King Opinion

Unpopular opinion I’m about to repeat AGAIN; But King actually has a lot more depth and nuance than people give him credit for, and he has that depth regardless of whether or not he was an actual king of demons or has some mysterious, all-powerful backstory or whatnot. If we look at him just as-is, at face-value, with what we actually have in canon, no speculation; King IS a very interesting character, actually, with a surprising amount of darkness!

There’s the parallels with Lilith that I’ve brought up in the past. King is a very artistic individual who wants glory and recognition, but on his own terms; He wants to be appreciated for stuff he cares about and feels he has agency in, not because he’s superficially adorable or anything! But at the same time, King DOES want to be coddled and cared for, given a sort of childhood he never really got- But he just wants some respect and agency with that as well, is that too much to ask for?

And that fits with how Luz babies him, but in a way that respects and listens to King’s requests, taking heed of his advice and lessons; Eda treats them both with respect and a proper level of accountability, while also protecting them because they’re both kids who don’t deserve that. This contrasts with Amity who’s kind of forced to grow up and is superficially taken seriously, but on the downside, she’s severely emotionally stunted and feels like she has to do all of the heavy-lifting for herself and others, by herself.

King is kind of coming to age in his own way like Luz, learning to take accountability and responsibility for his mistakes, as part of that quest to be taken seriously and respected, while still getting to be treated kindly and looked after, and then looking after Luz by himself occasionally. He wants power and control, but he sometimes has issues with the responsibility that comes with that, with demanding attention from Luz in Really Small Problems, and how King has to step up to his alleged leadership role by owning up to his mistakes, how we see him be a great teacher at Hexside for a day.

We see him start as a terrible teacher in I was a Teenage Abomination, before he improves in The Intruder, and by The First Day he can win the hearts of an entire class of teenagers, kids he once thought were terrifying after Once Upon a Swap- But who he grew to better understand thanks to his experience in Luz’s body, as well as learning to understand Luz herself and be a better person to her! Even when his fears of judgment aren’t fully conquered during Grom, no thanks to Eda’s own personal experiences and warnings- Gus manages to encourage King’s eventual confidence to speak out!

King’s got a disconnect with Luz and Eda in that both are only really demonized or looked down upon, as criminals and troublemakers, a cursed witch and a human, dehumanized… While King has been mostly fetishized, but that too is also dehumanizing, reducing him to a prop and a toy, a doll and a pet; One that people like Roselle, Dottie, Tibbles, and Boscha think they can just buy and own without permission. Just a cute animal to own and be carried by his collar by say Lilith, who also dehumanizes Luz as another one of Eda’s ‘pets’.

And as I said, that disconnect about being fetishized and seemingly ‘wanted’, to Eda who was cursed and ostracized and seen only as a monstrous freak; It means she doesn’t quite understand and even downplays King’s issues with that, which it’s why it’s important she literally walks in his shoes during Once Upon a Swap, that Eda realizes that being fetishized isn’t fun either, that her and King both just want respect and agency and to be treated by people with their own agency, and not like, say, someone’s younger troublemaker of a sibling who doesn’t understand what she’s getting into, as Lilith sometimes feels about her.

Likewise, King has issues with feeling outpaced and left behind by others, we see it literally happen in Covention and Really Small Problems. And this inferiority complex makes King convince himself that it’s okay if he acts against his friends, THEY can easily handle a minor loss or two when they’ve got so many wins under their belt, when they’re much farther ahead; King just wants to catch up, to be on equal footing with them! And he IS, Luz and Eda do respect and care for him, even if they sometimes forget to, but it doesn’t justify King working behind their backs, using Eda’s owl-beast form to get revenge on a toddler, or taking the credit for Luz’s work and even trying to make her friends disappear.

He’s got very artistic inclinations, if King were a witch he’d easily be a Bard AND Beastkeeper at least, maybe in Abominations as well! It provides a sense of control over mindless, obedient people… But honestly, I don’t think King is THAT obsessed with power. He just wants to feel in charge when for so long he’s just been brushed aside, ignored, and talked over. When he’s in a good environment and feels safe and in control to a reasonable degree, I don’t think King would actually care for an army to command as much, if at all.

I’ll say it again, but it’s hilariously meta that people ignore King’s depth and personhood, his individuality often, and just boil him down to the cute pet, a borderline shallow mascot; Just another pretty face, a garnish to a more important criminal like Eda on her Wanted Poster, or as Luz’s little furry animal companion and sidekick. That’s what the characters in-universe do… And it’s what the fandom kind of does, in a sense? People in-universe don’t even have the luxury of getting to know King intimately as an audience member.

…Mind you, I STILL love adorable King fanart and memes to death! I am not at all trying to fault anyone who doesn’t recognize King’s depth this way, I can see why you’d miss it in a sense, and I’m not implying that anyone is somehow a ‘bad person’, or a ‘fake fan’, or whatever, for not considering this a lot more. You do you, and I’m not saying it’s a personal requirement that people intimately discuss and consider King, I will always enjoy the cute fanart and depictions of King, the Incorrect Quotes, all that stuff! I just kinda wish we could have that, AND more acknowledgement of King…

So I want BOTH things, so even if I’m missing out on one- I’m definitely going to enjoy the other, and it’s okay if one wants to as well! Go ahead, enjoy King as you please, guilt-free… I just wanted to get this out there, and anyhow, I’M not the boss of anyone, it’s not like I can tell anyone else how to engage with this show, its characters, or the fandom through the content that’s produced! I’m just another fan and viewer.

#the owl house #the owl house king #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #meta #character analysis

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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #239: Late Night of the Super-Stars!

January, 1984

1984! Can’t wait to make a bunch of Orwell jokes that are poorly thought out and land poorly!

But I guess it’ll have to wait since we’re on Late Night with David Letterman in this issue.

This sure is an interesting turn of events. Although the team we see on the cover doesn’t seem to be the actually active roster. They’re over in the corner box turned away - either from shame or because they’re off doing their own thing.

Because its Assistant Editors’ Month!

A fun-sounding non-event. Although, looking it up, very few books that were considered part of the event actually did anything with it beyond a slightly goofy issue box on the cover.

So we’re going to see some Avengers go on a talk show today.

Superheroes as celebrities! What a novel idea.

Anyway, I learned an interesting detail about the cover that would have totally missed me. The checkerboard strip at the top was a hallmark of DC comics around this time. And the round MC logo in the top right is an obvious spoof of the DC logo from this time.

It’s not much more than a goof for this book but the Captain America book released for Assistant Editors’ Month also had the checkerboard and logo and was a style parody of DC comics.

Last times: Vision went into a robo-coma from walking into an invisible dome created by Annihilus and only recently recovered the ability to talk. New Avenger Starfox hooked Vision up to ISAAC the Titan computer and overclocked Vision’s robot brain so now he can project himself as a hologram and has an even faster computer brain. At the end of Avengers #238, the Avengers got a call from Tigra about some nonsense going on in San Francisco involving Spider-Woman.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye got a whole miniseries all to himself where he met Mockingbird, lost his job at Cross Technological, his girlfriend revealed that she was paid to date him and also hated him, he teamed up with Mockingbird to uncover an evil scheme by Crossfire to kill all superheroes, Hawkeye lost his hearing by putting an ultrasonic arrowhead in his mouth but foiled the scheme plot, and married Mockingbird. He’s had a very busy week or so!

This time: Hawkeye comes back to the Avengers Mansion to show off his cool new wife.

Hawkeye: “Hey, everybody -- your wanderin’ boy Hawkeye has come home... And you’ll never guess what I’ve gone and done!”

I can just imagine Mockingbird replying “Me” with the biggest shit-eating grin. She feels the sort to do that.

When Hawkeye and Mockingbird arrive there’s no one to greet them except the floating disembodied hologram head of the Wizard of Vizh.

Hawkeye has also made the decision, for some reason, to not wear the hearing aid that Mockingbird got him so he can’t hear what Vision is saying when he compliments his new costume.

Mockingbird introduces herself for Hawkeye and Vision tells the two to join him in the medical labs so they can catch up.

When they arrive, Vision raises his volume so Hawkeye can hear and recaps everything that’s happened to lead up to him becoming a robot in a tube who can hologram around.

Vision: “[Starfox] set up a direct link between ISAAC, the world-computer of Titan, to better diagnose my condition. But, instead, my brain became overloaded with ISAAC’s energy-information matrix --!”

Hawkeye: “And you became several with the universe, right?”

Vision: “‘Several with the’ --? Oh -- hah-ha! Very witty!”

Overclocking his brain seems to have done wonders for Vision’s sense of humor.

He even finds Hawkeye funny now.

Vision also explains where the dickens everyone else is (because Hawkeye asks him where the dickens they are. Its so weird for Hawkeye to say dickens).

Jarvis was given the day off to visit his mother, Captain America and Thor are both busy with nonsense in their own books, and the rest of the Avengers are off to San Francisco because of that call from Tigra.

Hawkeye offers to fly out and give them a hand, which Vision declines since they’ll call if they need help.

Instead he asks Hawkeye how he met Mockingbird and Hawkeye recaps the miniseries in only five panels.

He’s better at this than I am...

Hawkeye: “Anyway, Mockingbird and I had made a pretty good team -- so when it was all over, we ran off and got married!”

Mockingbird: “What can I say? The big lug needed somebody to keep him out of trouble!”

That’s the task of a lifetime, Bobbi. But good for you two! Cute couple is what I say.

Vision: “Marvelous! I hope you two will be as happy together as Wanda and I have been!"

Vision and Scarlet Witch probably are the healthiest superhero marriage of this time.

Vision asks if Hawkeye and Mockingbird intend to stay in the mansion, which they do. But it’s cool because Mockingbird has security clearance from working with SHIELD so they won’t need to bother Mr. Sikorsky and agitate his hatred of living in the superhero genre.

After Hawkeye takes Mockingbird off on a tour of the mansion, Vision receives a call from his brain brother, Wonder Man.

Who, very reluctantly, is coming to the Avengers with hat in hand. So to speak.

Wonder Man: “Okay. Here’s the situation -- my acting career hasn’t been going anywhere lately! So my agent, without my approval -- used the fact that I’m a reserve Avenger to get me a booking on David Letterman’s show, and now, they want me to bring other Avengers along with me! My agent really put me in a tight spot on this one. I hate to impose, but -- !”

Vision: “It’s no imposition at all, Simon! I’ll personally call the network and confirm the Avengers’ appearance!”

Wonder Man: “You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

Vision: “None whatsoever! After all, we have many Avengers -- !”

You sure do! Not as many as you’ll have by the No Surrender days. But still.

Also, I love this can-do attitude from you, Vision!

This is a pretty low priority in terms of fighting crime and whatnot but Vision is like THIS IS EXTREMELY DOABLE, I AM THE INTERNET.

Although imagine how sad it is from Wonder Man’s perspective. His agent put him on the spot pulling sorta-rank to get Simon some media attention but the media is like ‘ok but do you have something better?’

This man is trying to improve his career and the David Letterman show looked at him and said ‘ok but what else have you got?’

Oof!

Anyway, Vision uses the superpower of being wired into the phone system to call up some extra Avengers who aren’t very busy right now.

He calls Black Panther, Beast, and Black Widow.

Their varied responses are pretty funny.

But Black Panther’s is probably the best. He interrupts a meeting with his advisers to take the call and then he’s like ‘yeah sure I can drop everything I’m doing to appear on David Letterman!’

T’Challa really would rather be doing anything but kinging.

Beast initially protests that he’s too busy with the Defenders to just jump on some Avengers business but...

Beast: “The Letterman show? Hey, why didn’t you say so?”

And Black Widow is unbusy sunbathing at the Waldorf Towers while between missions. She doesn’t really want to make a television appearance (it’s kinda counterproductive for a spy, I would guess) but Vision mentions something that has Natasha agree to be there.

Based on what happens later, I guess Vision mentions that Hawkeye will be there.

A couple hours later, ELSEWHERE, well if it isn’t our ol’ friend and punchline Fabian Stankowicz!

Remember this goofus? He attacked the Avengers right when everyone was feeling bad about Hank Pym? Iron Man easily beat him up while the rest of the Avengers breezed on by. Or when he attacked Wasp’s cool superheroine brunch? Which was a hilariously terrible idea because he got between She-Hulk and breakfast foods. Also, nobody took him very seriously there either.

I guess the Avengers didn’t bother to press charges either time because he’s not in jail. He’s at his home working on some machines while his dad criticizes how he spends his time.

Dads, amirite?

Granted, what he’s criticizing is Fabian’s tendency to pick fights with superheroes. And... granted. Not a great use of his time.

But apparently Fabian can afford all the robot suits he keeps attacking the Avengers with because he won the lottery.

So he has a pretty good position to shoot down his dad’s protests, really.

Dad Stankowicz: “Fabian, I’m glad your poor mother didn’t live to see what’s become of you... It would’ve broken her heart!”

Fabian Stankowicz: “Aw, gimme a break, old man!”

Dad Stankowicz: “‘Old man’? This is the way you talk to your father?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “What do you want, egg in your beer? Was it you who won the state lottery and got us out of the Bronx? No, it was me! I won the money, and I’ll say how it’s spent! And I’m gonna use it to make a name for myself! Me... Fabian Stankowicz!”

And when Fabian sees an ad saying that the Avengers will be on Late Night with David Letterman, he has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

Also, who the heck puts egg in beer?

I’ve looked it up and I get that it’s a saying but apparently the saying is based on people actually doing that! Why??

The next afternoon, at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where the show 30 Rock and this issue of Avengers both happen, this issue of Avengers is happening.

A CBS page shows Black Widow to the green room where the other Avengers are already waiting.

Also: I know that it’s all the Avengers who weren’t busy (even though T’Challa really should have been?) but this is a fun roster.

Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Beast, Black Widow and Panther?

Heck, I could imagine this being the Marvel equivalent of the Justice League International team, one more geared for some light-hearted comedy?

Except we’re in 1984 so this predates that.

But you have Beast and Wonder Man, your comedy duo best buds. You have Black Panther and Widow being varying levels of straight man to the nonsense. And you have Hawkeye who can be very serious or very ridiculous depending on how hot-headed he’s being at the time.

This team could be hilarious!

(Avengers International. Think about it, Marvel.)

Outside the green room, our ol’ buddy ol’ punching bag, Fabian Stankowicz is in disguise as a repairman with a mustache as cover for installing some devices in the studio. Then he puts on a beard to disguise himself as Perfectly Normal Bearded Audience Member.

I appreciate his intiative although I doubt any of the present Avengers are gonna recognize this guy on sight even if he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Fabian Stankowicz.”

Fabian Stankowicz: Boy, this is gonna be so sweet, especially after the way the Avengers made me look like a chump those last two times! This time, it’s gonna be different! This time, I’m going to have a ringside seat for the defeat of the Avengers!

Or at least the Avengers that were available to show up on the Tonight Show with David Letterman.

Y’know, I like Fabian Stankowicz. He’s just smart enough to be dangerous and dumb enough to be entertaining. I think there’s a place for an ineffectual doofus with delusions of grandeur in the foe Rolodex of any superhero team.

Meanwhile, back with said Whoever Was Availables, Black Widow and Mockingbird are meeting for the first time.

And luckily, they’re both mature adults who don’t act like you’d usually see in media when the missus meets the ex.

So with a fight to the death NOT happening in the green room, Hawkeye gets to asking Mockingbird about the errand he sent her on which was why she wasn’t in the room when Black Widow first showed up.

Presumably using every bit of skill in espionage at her disposal, Mockingbird got a copy of the questions Letterman will be asking during the show.

Because Hawkeye will be fielding the questions and he has made the decision not to wear his hearing aid. And has also made the follow-up decision that not only will he not be hearing anything tonight, he’s also definitely going to be fielding all the questions.

Mockingbird: “Why won’t you wear a hearing aid?”

Hawkeye: “No can do, sweetheart! The fewer people who know I’m half-deaf, the safer it’ll be for all of us!”

(I don’t really get this reasoning but okay, man)

Mockingbird: “Then why not let someone else be spokesman? This is supposed to be Wonder Man’s big night!”

Hawkeye: “Sure... but I’m the only active Avenger here! Give me a kiss for luck!”

Not for nothing does Mockingbird think that he can be impossible sometimes. And she’s only known him a couple weeks! She’s already come to the correct read on him in that short a time.

David Letterman starts the show with an opening monologue.

David Letterman: “Tonight... What can I say? Tonight is something really special! In fact, it’s probably the most special show we’ve had since our 'camping with Barry White’ program! Yes... hard to believe, isn’t it? But with all due respect to Mr. White -- I think that this show may be our greatest ever. But, as they say, ‘that’s for history to decide!’”

Imagine being a talk show host and getting to introduce the Avengers. Pretty neat.

I like that bandleader Paul Shaffer is wearing a Captain America jersey. Although that makes me wonder once again what merchandising is like for Marvel superheroes.

Clearly it exists but did Cap sign off on a jersey mimicking his costume? Does he see any money from that? Or at least did he get to say that all profit goes to such and such charity?

Letterman introduces the Avengers for the audience.

(Fun how you can get a sense of their personality just by how they’re sitting. It’s the little touches that make a comic fun.)

Hm, I wonder how well the marvel public follows superhero roster changes.

I know that sometimes new Avengers rosters have gotten attention with press conferences and everything. And sometimes they just swap in and out members as personal business comes up.

Some of the people in the audience may not even recognize Black Widow as an Avenger. Becaaaaause, wait I don’t think she ever was one. She’s assisted on some missions and they were ready to vote her in when she vanished to go do a SHIELD mission.

Okay, better example, does anyone remember that Wonder Man- oh wait, he very publicly burst out of a crate in front of Avengers Mansion during press furor over a roster change. Also, he’s a pre-successful actor.

Black Pan- no, no. He was framed for killing the Avengers his very first day on the team. There was a manhunt.

And of course, everyone knows Beast was on the Avengers. He got around. Romantically.

David Letterman mentions that this group isn’t even all the Avengers because some couldn’t make it (read: were busy with more important things).

Which leads to a funny cut to audience where Beard Fabian is annoyed that this group is who got caught in his revenge scheme.

Fabian Stankowicz: Blast it, where’s Captain America? Where’s that &#%$ She-Hulk?

You better wash your brain out with soap before She-Hulk finds out you thought that about her. She’s dunked people into the garbage for lesser offenses.

Beast decides that this Late Night interview is the best time to reveal that he’s quitting as a reservist Avenger to focus on his version of the Defenders.

Letterman: “Wow, that was some bombshell the Beast just dropped, Hawkeye! You’re group spokesman... What do you think of that?”

Hawkeye: First question -- ! “Well, David, the Avengers is a non-profit organization, fully sanctioned as a peace-keeping force by just about ever international organization you could think of!”

Letterman: “Eh-heh-heh! You don’t say!”

Oh god, Beast’s bombshell messed up the order of questions and Hawkeye is firmly sticking to script because he can’t hear.

My god, Hawkeye.

Letterman: “You know, I was just about to ask you something along those lines. You wouldn’t be psychic by any chance -- ?”

Hawkeye: “No, of the founding members, only the Wasp and Thor remain as active Avengers.”

Letterman: “You little dickens! You’ve been peeking at my question sheet, haven’t you? All right, I might as well as my next question which is... ‘I hear you were recently married! Is that true?’”

Hawkeye: “Yes, Dave... just a few weeks ago!”

Letterman: “How about that!”

Did Hawkeye just think they were going to blaze through the questions? Even if Beast hadn’t preempted the first question, did Hawkeye think that there would be no follow-up questions? No discussion?

I’ve been on the fence on whether the jokes about Hawkeye not hearing the questions are poking fun at deaf people or at Hawkeye and yeah, Hawkeye is definitely the butt of this joke.

Fabian Stankowicz loses patience for this very dry question and answer session and decides to start his attack nnnnow.

One of the studio cameras is secretly A GIANT LASER. Because. And it blasts the stage.

Mockingbird is watching this on a tiny screen in the Green Room and goes out to help only to run afoul of some kind of mechanized steamrolling dumpster.

Back in the studio, Wonder Man has found his new nemesis.

Move over, Grim Reaper. You’re one-dimensional and everyone especially me hates you. Hello, laser blasting camera.

Wonder Man: “Let me at that thing, Beast! It’s ruining my guest-shot!”

Beast: “You’ll have to wait your turn, Wondy! It just shredded my favorite shirt!”

Priorities!

You know, this was supposed to be about Wonder Man and he only got to say two words during the interview portion.

Dangit, Hawkeye.

Apppppparently, the audience is just assuming that this is all part of the show. A cliche, sure. But it makes sense.

Would you really have the Avengers on a talk show and just have them talk? That’s a waste of perfectly good superheroes.

Also.... apparently? David Letterman used to run things over with a steamroller a lot? So a steamroller looking contraption crashing through the wall to attack the Avengers does seem like something that might happen?

Also, Paul Shaffer decides to just roll with it so as not to panic the audience.

The show must go on, after all.

The steamroller also starts firing missiles at Beast, as ya do.

Beast: “Hunter missiles? I don’t believe this is happening on network tv!”

Wonder Man tries punching the steamroller to no avail but which does give Black Panther a chance to pull out the tried and true “Wonder Man’s fists carry as much bludgeoning power as Thor’s hammer!”

Y’know, originally, that was a flex that set Wonder Man as a threat to the team but after he joined, that never really seemed to actually be the case.

Imagine if Wonder Man always hit as hard as Thor’s hammer? Like, he’s minding his own business and then the Gorr the God Butcher arc happens and Wonder Man is like ‘huh, why do I suddenly feel like my punches could destroy planets light years away? That’s a very specific feeling!’

Fabian Stankowicz takes advantage of the spectacle chaos to walk out of the audience, plunk himself down into one of the interview chairs, remove his entirely convincing beard, and introduce himself to David Letterman as the guy who is definitely to blame for all the action setpieces going on.

Letterman, like Paul Shaffer, just decides to roll with it. Humor the guy. Ask him why he’s doing this.

Fabian Stankowicz: “Why? To prove it could be done! To show what one incredibly gifted individual can accomplish...”

Letterman: “... To get your name in the papers?”

Fabian Stankowicz: “That too! After all, the Avengers have battled Zodiac... the Masters of Evil... Doctor Doom! I want to make as big a name for myself as those guys!”

Letterman: “Seems to me that ‘Stankowicz’ is already a pretty big name!”

Badum pish?

He asks Fabian to explain all of his devices and Fabian is happy too.

I mean, he’s being a supervillain for the notoriety and supervillains already love to hear themselves talk so he’s double dipping into the ‘I will exposit everything at the drop of a hat’ well.

And imagine, Fabian built all this stuff in his garage with lottery winnings.

The steamroller thing isn’t just a steamroller, it’s also got a gravity generator. Which, I guess, makes sense if you’re expecting to go against a She-Hulk or a Thor. A regular steamroller isn’t going to do more than annoy.

Wonder Man fighting so hard against the roller makes it increase gravity so much that Simon and steamroller just fall through the floor.

Hm. I wonder what’s filmed in the studios the floor down. They’re about to have an exciting guest star in that steamroller.

Black Widow (still tangling with the laser camera) points Hawkeye towards Fabian. Although she has to shout and Hawkeye still doesn’t really get it but is happy to shoot an arrow at someone that Black Widow is vigorously gesturing at.

Alas, Fabian is one of those prepared villains we’ve been hearing so much about.

He built a force field too, and the arrow just bounces right off.

(Hey, uh, Hawkeye? What kind of arrow was that? Because it looks technological and you just shot it at this guy’s head)

Truly, can nothing stop this insidious yet not very menacing criminal genius?

Oh, I guess David Letterman can.

Knocks him out with a big knob.

It’s just plain big.

Prop comedy, amirite?

The audience seems to love it anyway. I looked up a clip of the big doorknob and it didn’t meet with this much applause. Maybe its because it was used to do violence this time?

Was the giant door knob a beloved part of Late Show lore?

David Letterman: “I guess that’ll teach you not to mess with David Letterman!”

That’s a line with weird energy to it.

Anyway, it would be a sad day for this random assemblage of backup Avengers if they were upstaged completely by David Letterman and his big knob.

Black Widow and Hawkeye finally manage to blow up the laser camera.

I’m not sure why it took them this long. Sure, the camera could apparently move, based on motion lines in previous panels. But the world’s best marksman couldn’t nail it sooner?

But the important thing is that eventually, they did do it.

The floor starts rumbling as well as Wonder Man flies back up with his belt-jets with the trashed roller and a shit-eating grin.

Wonder Man: “Sorry this took so long -- But I guess I’m a little rusty at tackling big hunks of tin like this!”

Fabian Stankowicz: Rusty? It took me a month to design that, and he totaled it in less than five minutes!

But since everyone’s focus is on Wonder Man (for once), Fabian tries to sneak away.

And runs smack dab into Mockingbird who has a lot of justified anger over almost getting run over by the roller earlier. But she just throws him over to some police that have finally shown up.

Letterman tells the audience not to try any of this at home, just in case any of them have gravity-generator osmium steel steamrollers lying around? And cuts to commercial, presumably so that some basic tidying can happen.

Hours after the filming of the show concludes, the Avengers TV Squad have returned to the mansion, with Vision wishing he could have taken part of this assistant editors month special issue.

Vision: “What became of Stankowicz?”

Black Panther: “Well, with all the charges NBC is leveling against him, the only machinery he’ll be dealing with for some time will be in the New York State Prison library!”

So, he attacked Avengers Mansion. He attacked Wasp’s superheroine brunch at the Van Dyne residence. That’s all well and good. He attacks the Avengers again in the NBC studio and the man is going to jail forever.

I guess the Avengers really haven’t been bothering to press charges on Fabian. But a massive media corporation isn’t so kind.

Since Hawkeye is technically the active Avenger (even though Vision’s hologram head is RIGHT there) he has to follow up on the thing Beast said about quitting the Avengers reservists.

Beast says its not right for him to be an Avengers reservist if he’s also trying to turn “the Defenders into a for-real group!”

Uh, Defenders fans? Wasn’t the appeal of the Defenders them being the not-team team? How did people feel about Beast going ‘ok but what if they were more like other teams instead?’

Meanwhile, Wonder Man is pacing, waiting for the Late Show to come on so he can see how he did when WOMP WOMP the show is interrupted by a special news bulletin.

Wonder Man is aghast that his big break isn’t even airing but when the special news bulletin is about a burning chemical barge, his hero instincts that he has suddenly swell up.

Wonder Man: “This... This is awful! What’re we standing around for? Let’s do something! We’re Avengers, aren’t we?”

Black Panther: “That we are, Simon! Let’s go!”

Beast also decides, hey, one more time won’t hurt and accepts his Avengers ID card back from Hawkeye.

And as they’re headed off to the Quinjet, Beast has a hopeful note for Wonder Man.

Beast: “Hey, Wondy -- remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts! If we can get this mess cleaned up in time, maybe some folks in California will still see you get your big break!”

Wonder Man: “And if we don’t -- ?”

Beast: “Well, that’s show biz!”

Pretty enjoyable issue! Like, sure, its a good for Assistant Editor’s Month. But if you’re going to do a goof, then you can do worse than bringing back Fabian Stankowicz for a third time’s not the charm.

Speaking of charm, having the Avengers appear on a talk show is a charming concept. Not a whole lot was done with it except the joke about Hawkeye answering the wrong questions but its still a fun idea.

And having the Avengers off busy lets us brush off some Also Avengers that haven’t been in play for a bit. That’s a fun idea that I wouldn’t mind seeing some more.

Have the reservists called in because of a situation happening when the Avengers are already busy.

Heck, I’d like to see a situation where the silliest and least regarded Avengers are the only ones available to respond to an emergency. Have them bounce off each other as a group. Maybe they’re mutually aware of their bad reputations.

Anyway, I expected this issue would be ridiculous but it was also enjoyable. Didn’t mind it at all. And (though by a different writer) the Hawkeye miniseries was very enjoyable too.

This is just feeling like a good era for the Avengers team.

Next time, apparently The Ghost of Jessica Drew. So she’s some kind of ghost spider? Nobody tell Carol Danvers.

Follow @essential-avengers because I typed this post partially while a cat was lying on my wrist. That’s dedication. Which you can’t spell without cat. Also, like and reblog if you think its likeable and rebloggable.

#avengers #Mechano Marauder #Hawkeye #mockingbird #Wonder Man #Beast #Black Widow #Black Panther #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the one wherein they appear on david letterman #pretty fun

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springday-aus · 4 years ago

Text

Figure Skater!AU with Jimin

moodboard link

Group: BTS

Member: Park Jimin

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: approx. 2.1k

I think Jimin would make a fantastic ice skater

like Olympic gold kind of ice skater

have you seen this man’s form when he’s dancing? now just imagine that with skates

even tho homeboy is a lil clumsy

(*cue the compilation of him falling off chairs on his own*)

but yeah, he’s an ice skater and he’s beautiful—thank you for coming to my ted talk

just kidding

kind of

so Jimin started young

his dad signed him up for dance classes originally

and Jimin loved it

but then Jimin went ice skating

he struggled at first, but after a couple of tries, he got the hang of it and he fell in love with it gradually

and it was history from there

it was like a slow burn love rather than instant and that’s what makes him so committed

Jimin still does dance every once in a while, but he really committed himself to ice skating and got really good

he entered an amateur ice skating contest and actually won (to the much of his shock)

and then homeboy kept winning and winning and next thing you know

he’s in the top ten ranking for ice skating in Korea and that meant Olympics and well

while he hasn’t won like gold or anything

he’s been super close to it and that proves how good he is tho

these competitions are basically him dancing on ice

it’s such a wild card because he has so much range

one time he did classical music and incorporated elements of ballet

another time he did a Big Bang song and everyone was not prepared

he’s absolutely eating these performances up and still managing to feed it to ice skating fanatics

speaking of which, he’s pretty well known in the ice skating world

especially since he basically captures everyone with his performances

and his face

but also his butt

it’s everything

everyone loves jimin

does Jimin know it?

there are times he uses it (like getting Yoongi to buy him snacks)

and other times, he’s 1000000% oblivious to it

you know how people throw winnie the pooh bears at Yuzuru Hanyu?

anything that looks remotely cute is thrown at Jimin

so you can just…. imagine

he’s gotten so many of those gigantic stuffed dogs since people say he resembles a puppy

but he started getting thrown otter plushies

which he didn’t think was a thinguntil a bunch of people started throwing for him and now he gets an obscure amount of otter plushies when his performances are done

because lbr, Jimin is super affectionate, loves his family and is super cute

otter = Jimin

speaking of performances tho, the bts boys always try to make his competitions

they’re super supportive as always

Seokjin always brings snacks and Namjoon always brings flowers

Hoseok cheers the loudest (obviously) and waves a lot of flags like some goddamned color guard

and Taehyung and Jungkook bring signs that are supposed to be supportive… but then like

it’ll say shit like “Korea’s Thighs! PARK JIMIN”

Yoongi: “guys, it’s supposed to be Korea’s pride……”

Jungkook: “well, it’s already made” :)

Taehyung: :)

anyways

they’re like the most attractive group of people in one spot, so even if you only came there for Jimin, you’ll get like six more attractive pieces of eye candy to look at

(which is probably why Jimin’s crowds are noticeably bigger)

there was this one time tho that this one dude was competing, saw Seokjin and almost tripped

I mean who wouldn’t

but Jimin had to deal with Seokjin’s ego for the next week and it was a pain in the ass

speaking of pain in the ass, Jimin spends a ton of time to practice at the ice rink

he’s basically a perfectionist when it comes to his performances and he ends up spending all day there

there’s usually his manager, his trainer, and one of his friends

they all come in rounds to make sure he isn’t going insane

this is actually how you meet him

you happened to be there one day to ice skate with some of your friends

only, here’s the catch

you cannot ice skate for shit and you are very aware of it

it took a couple of bribes of free food and hot cocoa that led you out of the house and into the skates

realistically speaking you could’ve stood on the side, but they were like come onnnnn

and, like an idiot, you let them peer pressure you into getting into the rink

and now you’re grasping on the rail for dear life and your friends are all making fun of you and recording it on their phone bc ✨memories✨ or some other crap

well, not all of them

two of them are skating next to you to help hold you up and convince you to let go of the rail

and this is where things kind of go awry

basically, let’s just say that your friends got a little distracted by some of Jimin’s friends (i.e. Jungkook and Taehyung) who were visiting him

they were on the rails, watching and supporting Jimin

looking handsome and shit

ofc your friends dropped you—they were distracted

lbr, you would have been distracted too but you couldn’t be

because when they let go of you….

you fell flat on your face

like flat flat on the ice and a part of your soul died

you kind of got stuck and struggled getting up, especially since you kept falling back down on the skates

and then another pair of skates appeared and a hand reached out to you—aligning with your vision

Jimin: “do you need some help?”

You: “yes please”

he manages to get you up and you manage to stabilize yourself as he holds you up with both hands

while you’re trying to balance yourself, he chuckles to himself at the sight

you’re basically clinging onto him at this point but he doesn’t really mind

you’re cute

You: “I’m so sorry, this was not my idea”

Jimin: “first time skating?”

You: “um, actually, no”

You: “this is like my third time”

You: “I’m just a klutz and my friends are assholes”

Jimin: “oh?”

You: “not like that, but also like that”

he spends a bit more time skating with you to help you out for a bit

next thing you know, you’re spending another hour with him

laughing

chatting

learning more about one another

as you held onto his hands and skated around with him

it’s a fun

he’s basically done practicing and, even afterwards, you two got some hot cocoa from the stand

(along with his number)

it was a super cute lowkey first date

as you two texted and got to know each other a bit more, he invited you to another rink where he practices

when you walked in, no one else was present—it was just him, on the ice, in the middle of a routine

you quietly get closer, admiring the gratefulness that is displayed until you’re at the rails

when he’s finished, you applaud

indirectly scaring him, causing him to break his form and practically fall onto the ice

You: “oh my god!”

you run over to him, checking if he’s okay

You: “I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry”

Jimin: “it’s okay, I didn’t know you got here”

You: “yo, that was really good tho—you should do this as a job or something”

Jimin: “..... this is my job tho?”

Jimin: “I’m an Olympic ice skater”

You: w h a t

you two spend a bit more time in the rink, especially since he’s preparing for the Olympics once more

so you’re like friends, but like there’s something more (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

speaking of friends, you’ve met some of his

wild times

especially since Taehyung tried to show up Jimin on the skates and then falls on his face

Namjoon was self-monologuing as per usual

Seokjin was admiring his reflection on the ice, but still making as many dad jokes as possible

meanwhile Hoseok was trying to maintain balance but Yoongi was trying to trip him

Jimin: “I’m so sorry”

You: “why? this is hilarious”

they all know what’s going on tho, especially since all of them have met you at least once

*cut to Jungkook making fun of Jimin at some point*

things don’t really change until he has his first performance and you’re in the crowd (sitting with the boys obviously)

(for which you got a lot of stares for)

you cheered for him really loud before and after his performance

and you came with a cute sign

(“KOREA’S ICE PRINCE PARK JIMIN”)

and it’s bigger than Taehyung and Jungkook’s embarrassing one

it wasn’t until the scores were released and Jimin’s adrenaline rush came through

with all the congratulatory remarks and celebratory mood, he was in the locker rooms to get ready for the party his family was setting up at home

his coach let you him since he knew no one else was present

you lightly knock on the doorway to let him know of your presence

*unfortunately* he’s already clothed by the time you’re there

You: “congratulations, I knew you would get first place”

You: “I got you flowers, but I didn’t know if you were allergic, so I got plastic ones”

Jimin gives you a charming smile, with his eyes turning into crescents

Jimin: “thanks, you can set them down if you would like”

you seat yourself on a nearby bench as he brushes through his hair and puts on his shoes and whatnot

Jimin: “are you coming to the party?”

You: “I don’t know if I’m invited”

Jimin: “well, I’m inviting you—if you would like to go”

You: “like………. together?”

Jimin: “yeah, you can be my date?”

you both show up to the party with your hands held together

your dates are mainly at the ice rink for the rest of the season

whether you’re skating with him or just watching him practice and reminding him to take breaks, both mental and physical

you’ve improved your ice skating abilities btw

considering your boyfriend is a professional ice skater

you always make time to go to his performances and you absolutely refuse to miss a single one even if you’ve seen it a thousand times when he practices

there’s just so much gracefulness and agility and Jimin’s so beautiful to watch

and he’s so glad to have found someone who supports his dream as much as he chases after it

also you asked him to dance to Twice once as a joke and he actually did it for a performance so

now you have many requests and ideas

Jungkook: “tell him to do One of a Kind by GD”

You: “why don’t you tell him?”

Jungkook: “because he doesn’t listen to me”

Yoongi: “I think he would know if it was your idea even if (Y/N) is the one who told him to do it”

Jimin: “I’m not doing GD”

Jungkook: “wow okay”

anyways

after the season is done, your dates have more range

he’s a big softie and it’s 1000% applied to relationships

so that means lots of romantic walks, coffee dates, picnics

of course lots of restaurant dates when he’s off his diet

in which you always pinch his cheeks bc he looks so cute with puffy cheeks

but there’s some dates where you two just stay in and watch some movies but you get a bit distracted with his plump lips and nice torso………. however you want to take that information

since he’s so used to the cold at the ice skating rink, it also means he loves to just pile blankets onto the two of you

but also he needs cuddles and it gets super heated real quick

and I mean like heated heated because of his body heat and the giant blankets

altho, it could also be heated

you two built a blanket fort once and it was knocked down real quick - in what ways? I’ll leave that to your imagination

oh and since you’re openly so supportive for him

he tries to reciprocate it

even if it’s the most mundane things

he wanted to make a sign for you once

Jimin: “do you have bigger banner paper?”

You: “why?”

Jimin: “I can’t fit in THE LOVE OF MY LIFE: HONEY SUGAR BABY CUTIEPIE”

Jimin: ………… “now that I’ve said it outloud, I think I’ll just save it for my phone or something”

You: “yeah, let’s never say that again”

you repeated it back to him once and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this flushed since that one fan tried to propose to him

he’s a shy baby

kind of

because he needs a lot of attention and a lot of praise

but if you do it in front of other people, he will combust

anyways we’re all simps for Jimin and it’s great we’re having fun

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nyxxon · 4 years ago

Text

Persodroids (Asui Tsuyu and Hatsume Mei)

Request:

@Genos — Quotev

Anything specific to include: One Day, a young rich girl is taken to an Android store by her servant to buy some friends for Y/N while the mother was away. Y/N decides on Tsuyu and Mei, whom are on sale (Both have speakers for mouths and are in their hero outfits). Once home, and Y/N's mother leaves, Y/N turns the two on, having lots of fun with them over the next week. One night, while Y/N and the two cuddle together, Y/N wishes she could be like them, going to sleep snuggled between the two androids.

» Changed it up more to be more of a basic introduction. Possible part 2 with the end as you had described. Hope that is okay.

———

The drive to the large and extravagant store hadn't taken long since, before you knew it, your driver—Sero Hanta—pulled up to the store with you and your maid, Uraraka Ochako, sitting in the back seat.

Remaining inside the car, you knitted your brows as you looked out the window at the large store with what appeared to be humanoid robots on display..? You weren't sure if that was the proper term, but it'd have to do for now.

You knew you and Uraraka were going shopping for the day even though you hadn't wanted to. But she and even your mother had insisted you come with Uraraka to where she was going for some reason or another; however, that was all the info you had managed to gather from her during the little ride.

As you were looking out the window and trying to figure out the reason behind it, it didn't take long for your view to soon change as Uraraka had since exited from the car and made it to your side of the door, opening it.

Hesitantly you came out of the car before turning to look at Uraraka, "What are we doing here..?"

"Hmm. You'll see!" She replied almost excitedly as she shut the door of the black car before she began walking towards the store, you following behind her.

Upon entering, you both were greeted by even more of the humanoid robots all dressed in different and bizarre outfits while all also looking completely different from one another. But they all had speaker-like areas for mouths which was, admittedly, a bit offsetting.

"Your mother asked me to bring you here to choose out two 'Persodroids' of your own."

"Uh, 'Persodroids'..?" You blinked at her.

Uraraka nodded, "It's like a friend of sorts, except it's an android." She stated, "They're quite popular actually."

"I see . . ."

Well, that explained why she and your mother wanted you to come to the store.

"You can choose whichever two you like." Uraraka stated, "I'll wait for you here as you look around."

You hummed, "What if I don't find one?"

"I'm sure you will."

You sighed, "I guess I'll look around then."

With that, you started off in a random direction to look at all the "Persodroids" that were hanging in display boxes or sitting in human-like positions and whatnot. Each android had a little paper beside them describing them.

Walking towards one of the androids, one with blonde hair that had a black lightning bolt in his hair, you read the paper: Kaminari Denki is a friendly, social, and energetic boy who likes to hang out with people. He is rather casual when interacting with others although he's also not above petty complaining or overreacting if feeling annoyed or shocked enough. Kaminari may come off as blunt and reckless at times but is always well-meaning. He is also very flirtatious.

Frowning, you went to the next one beside him. It was a pink-skinned-and-haired alien-looking android of sorts. You read her description paper: Ashido Mina is a cheerful and easygoing girl who displays a smile on her face most of the time. Highly social and excitable, she loves to hang out with her friends and is shown to become very upset when denied an opportunity to be at a gathering.

She possesses a strong fashion sense and likes to go shopping. Due to her athleticism and energy, Ashido enjoys and is very skilled at dancing. Her demeanor becomes more strict and perfectionistic when teaching others how to dance, in direct contrast to her usual happy-go-lucky nature.

It seemed they each had their own personalities along with likes and dislikes . . . so it appeared you'd need to look at each card to find your best match.

With a sigh, you began reading each and every card of the majority of the Persodroids . . .

After what felt like a few hours, you had read just about every single card for each Persodroid. However, even so, you hadn't managed to find anyone you liked—not that you had expected any different since you honestly didn't have much interest in doing so.

"Unable to find one you like?" A voice sounded from behind you.

You jumped a little as you turned around, instantly being greeted by the sight of a rather tall curvaceous woman in a white blouse and tight black pencil skirt with spiky dark purple hair with a pair of striking blue eyes.

You blinked at her, "Who are you?"

"Oh, dear. Excuse my rudeness." She started, "I'm Kayama Nemuri, the owner of the Persodroid Store . . . but as I was saying, you appear to be having trouble."

"I guess."

She hummed as she looked you up and down, "Come with me." She turned and started walking.

Blinking at her as she began getting farther and farther, you reluctantly followed her as she began leading you past all the androids you had already read about, opening a door that appeared to lead into a back room of sorts before leading you to a pair of female androids who sat against the wall—alone.

One had long dark green hair and a skin-tight green and black bodysuit with tan-colored gloves that had buckles around each wrist while also somewhat resembling a frog in a way—possessing larger than average hands.

The other was a girl with salmon-colored hair styled in thick dreadlocks while wearing a plain black tank top with workshop coveralls tied casually around her waist—a pair of red and gold steampunk goggles on top of her head.

But both had the basic speaker-like mouth that all the other Persodroids appeared to sport.

Though with that said, were they messed up?

"I have a feeling these two may be to your liking." Kayama stated as she handed you two pieces of paper, snapping you from your staring at the two androids.

You stared down at the papers in her hand before reluctantly taking them and reading over them, reading the one that had "Asui Tsuyu" on the top: Tsuyu is a straightforward and aloof individual who always speaks bluntly from her mind and what she thinks about others. Tsuyu prefers to be called "Tsu," but only by people that she views as friends. She commonly refers to everyone with the honorific "-chan"—save for authority figures.

She is noticeably calm and collected, being able to stay levelheaded and focused even during the most stressful situations. An honor student since middle school, Tsuyu has great judgment, can communicate her intentions easily, and is rarely moved by emotion, making her an incredibly dependable friend.

You then proceeded to the one that read "Hatsume Mei" on top: Hatsume Mei shows no fear when it comes to failing, seeing it as an opportunity to learn and do better next time, which is why she does not mind when her inventions fail. She can be seen as self-centered due to putting her love of inventions and gadgets above others, but this selfishness is not a negative as it is out of motivation to improve herself.

She does seem to be a little bit absent-minded as she is easily distracted and can sometimes be completely unaware of her surroundings. She can also be a bit manipulative at times. Furthermore, she seems inept at reading body language and social cues.

Admittedly, these two androids did mildly pique your interest—more so than the other ones who had been out in the open. However, you were curious as to why these two were in the practically empty backroom.

"The green one is Tsuyu and the pink one is Hatsume." Kayama stated.

"Why are they back here?"

She hummed, "They are too good just for anyone."

You raised a brow, "What do you mean?"

"They're special."

"Special?"

A smirk played at her lips, "If you buy them, you shall see."

You looked at her for a moment then back at the two girl androids. This seemed like the most basic of "buy this" convincing you had ever seen. However . . . you were a bit curious about these Persodroids.

Perhaps this had been what Yaoyorozu Momo, one of your friends, had been talking about and described one of her maids to be when you two had talked over some tea when you had gone to her place though you didn't pay too much attention to her rambling.

"So what do you say? Kayama eventually asked.

"Fine. I will take these two."

Her smirk widened, "Very well."

With that, she had soon gotten a few of her workers to prep them to be packed up and placed in your car out front while she led you back to the front desk to ring you up—Uraraka handling the payment once you had told her you had found two you were interested in.

After Uraraka had paid for the two androids, you both were soon escorted out with the two workers who helped you load the two androids into the trunk of the car before you soon entered it instantly followed by Uraraka.

After you both had gotten settled, the car was soon off and heading back home. On the way, Uraraka was happy you had found two you wanted as she asked many questions about them.

Not really wanting to partake in any conversation, you simply handed her the pieces of paper with their descriptions on them as she gladly read it though she did ask which was which with you telling her before she began talking about one thing or another on the way back home as you ignored her—your mind filled with curiosity of the androids you had just bout and, that if what Kayama said was true, what was so special about them.

Once you had gotten home, the two androids stayed in the car as they waited to be unloaded by two of your own personally helpers around your home who had started towards the car right as you headed inside to see your mother.

Right as you walked inside, it didn't take long for your eyes to land on your mother as it appeared she was off to head off, a suitcase in hand—being the CEO of one of the biggest companies of Musutafu, so she usually had to attend long meetings which usually had you being alone most of the time.

As she walked towards youz you began to speak, "Mom–"

"Oh, (First Name), you're back!" She interrupted, "Did you find two Persodroids you like?"

"Ah, yes, I did."

"Wonderful!"

"But why di–"

"I have to go, I'm going to be late for my flight if I don't head out now." She stated, "I'll be back in a week."

"Oh . . ." You had almost forgotten she had a week-long meeting to handle and that her flight left today.

She placed her hand on the top of your head, "Love you, have fun with your new toys." With those words, she soon left you to your own as you watched as she walked through the door right as the two guys bringing in the boxed androids made their way inside.

"Where do you want these?"

You glanced at both of the men carrying the large boxes, appearing to be internally struggling though not saying anything, "You can put them down in the living room."

The two men nodded as they headed into the living room. After a few seconds, they soon came back into the lobby before heading back out to handle what they had originally been doing before your arrival.

Making sure you were alone and seeing as Uraraka had left to handle her regular maid duties for the time being, you soon made your way into the living room. Spotting the two large boxes on the ground, you walked towards them before stopping once you had gotten in front of one of them. Bending down, you opened both of the boxes, revealing the two androids.

As you looked at them, you wondered how you turned them on . . .

Looking around, you soon found a piece of paper inside one of the boxes. Grabbing it, it was obvious directions on how to turn them on. It appeared you'd have to press the little button on their necks—simple really.

Hesitantly, you pressed the button on both of their necks. At first, it did nothing so you were about to press it again since you thought that maybe you hadn't pressed it hard or long enough for it to process your actions; however, the one dubbed Tsuyu's eyes snapped open followed by Hatsume's before they slowly began to rise up from the boxes.

The sudden action of them sitting up caused you to scoot back as you stared at them with somewhat wide eyes. It was a little off-putting with how realistic they looked aside from their mouths, of course.

You continued to stare over at them silently with your eyes still a bit wide and a bead of sweat on your cheek, taking notice of their eyes appearing to glow with a "processing" symbol. Though their eyes soon reverted to more normal-looking ones—Hatsume's still a bit odd-looking though—after a few more seconds as they began to scan the room, soon stopping on your form.

Tsuyu was the first one to speak—her voice perfectly human even with the odd speaker mouth, "I'm Tsuyu Asui. But you can call me Tsu."

"I am Hatsume Mei!" Hatsume said directly after, her voice relatively normal as well, "Who are you?"

"Uh . . ." You paused for a moment, "(L-Last Name) (First Name)."

Both of their eyes seemed to turn into the "processing" symbol before reverting back to the more regular eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, (Last Name)-chan. We are your Personal Androids or 'Persodroids' for short." They said in unison though Hatsume's was a bit more excited sounding, "Basically, we are your android friends."

"Android friends?"

"Yes!" Hatsume started. If she had a normal mouth, you were sure she'd have a smile on her face, "We will do anything and everything with you!"

"As long as you keep us charged that is." Tsuyu came in, her voice not as enthused as Hatsume's, as she placed an oversized finger to her speaker mouth.

"Our batteries last for three days on average while running on a full charge." Hatsume stated, "We can also function while being charged!"

"I see."

"You don't talk much, do you?" She asked.

"She doesn't seem like the type." Tsuyu answered for you as she studied you.

"I–"

"You have such a nice house, (Last Name)!" Hatsume said as she glanced around the living room, her eyes switching to that of computer-animated 8-bit sparkles.

"Yes, it'd really nice." Today agreed.

"Are you rich or something?!" Hatsume turned her gaze back to you.

"Uh, you could say that."

"Wow, that's so cool!"

"I agree." Tsuyu came in as she began to gaze about the lavishly furnished living room herself, "It must be nice having such a lot of money."

You frowned, "I guess."

As you silently stared at the two "Persodroids" who looked at your house in complete amazement (Hatsume more so), you couldn't pinpoint what was exactly so "special" about them. They looked exactly like all the other androids that littered that store, and you were sure they function the same as the others as well.

You wondered if there was a way to shut them off, you were sure there was. After all, you didn't care too much about them and had only got them because of what had been said to you as well as Uraraka being very adamant about you getting one . . .

But at the same time, you were still quite curious about these "Persodroids" as well as curious if they'd eventually show you how special they truly were or if what Mrs. Kayama had told you had been a bunch of bull just to get you to buy them.

So for the time being, you'd allow these "Persodroids" to continue to run—you watching them closely to see if what the owner of the store had said to you was actually true or not through the passing week. And who knows, maybe they may actually grow on you though you highly doubted that.

However, with the days to come with the passing week, you weren't expecting the two androids to slowly do just that. In the end, a small friendship between the three of you was destined to begin in that short amount of time . . .

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acousticcheeze · 3 years ago

Text

Here's my 100 questions for my OC thing!

My OC is Laureli, a 6'2 Altmer trying to make his way in Skyrim

1. What do they smell like?

Whatever alchemy ingredient he’s been working with, really. Lavender is what he smells like most often, though.

2. What is their voice like?

A smooth-ish medium pitch Altmer voice that has elements of calm and irritation.

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Helping others through his alchemy. He wants to improve medicine for Skyrim, as well as all of Tamriel.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

He had a whole scientific presentation one year that ended up being completely wrong. He got humiliated in front of everyone.

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

Winces at it, curses, and then gets to treating the problem.

6. What do they like to wear?

Functional clothes that keep him warm and allow him to carry alchemy ingredients in his pockets.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

The relationships with some of the people he’s helped over the years. It gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment knowing that he could help people, save people.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

He’s an alchemist...in Skyrim...I’m pretty sure there are a few contenders… (giants toe, large/small antlers, ectoplasm, the list goes on)

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Normal side sleeper. Prefers to sleep on his left side.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

Horker stew. It’s actually way better than he thought it would be.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

If what he’s doing is good enough. He has big problems with perfectionism that still persist with him even after leaving Summerset.

12. How do they like to dress?

Robes with an alchemy enchantment and a hood.

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

He tries to shake them off, but has panic attacks and whatnot sometimes as a result of them.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Is completely shattered by it. He’s dealt with this so many times before, though, so he keeps his cards close to his chest.

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Creating potions that help much more than the average cure disease potion would, as well as all sorts of other concoctions. Also, he’s created a sort of disinfectant and is working on a hand sanitizer.

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Cranky, cranky, cranky.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Drunk? Oh no no no no Laureli does not drink (and even if he did he’d be out real quick)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

He isn’t really into music, but he enjoys the songs the bard plays at the Bannered Mare.

19. Are they right or left handed?

Right, but is practicing with his left hand too in case something happens to his right.

20. Fears?

Death and failure, mostly.

21. Favorite kind of weather?

As the sun rises and there’s dew all over the grass, the light reflecting through each drop.

22. Favorite color?

The color of eyes. Or, more specifically, the hundreds of little pinpricks of different colors inside of eyes, It’s really quite fascinating.

23. Do they collect anything?

OH YEAH. So many different alchemy ingredients and random stuff to be used in his next works-

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold, which is good since he lives in Skyrim.

25. What is their eye color?

Chartreuse (like most Altmer)

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Altmer

27. Hair color?

White

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

Yup. Breezehome is small, but manageable, and Whiterun is a decent hold to live in.

29. Are they a morning person?

Yes. He gets tired around 9 and can’t stay up past 12.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

Very organized. Again, he’s a perfectionist.

32. Pet peeves?

People touching his things as well as people inserting themselves into his business.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

An amulet of Talos a Nord gave him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to learn much about Talos at home, and he found it very interesting talking to the local Nords about their beliefs. That amulet reminds him of his first day in Skyrim, the first day of his new life.

34. Least favorite food?

Taffy treats, or anything with that sort of texture and stickiness that can get stuck to his teeth very easily.

35. Least favorite color?

Very pale green. It looks gross.

36. Least favorite smell?

Death. (Yes, death has a smell)

37. When was the last time they cried?

Recently.

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

No. Oh Auri-el, no no no no. He cries alone and he makes sure of it.

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

Was in a fire when he was younger, he has a burn going up the inner leg on his right leg.

40. Do they have any scars?

Only mental ones. (and the burn scar on his leg)

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Perfectionism, past abuse, self hate, among others.

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Picking at his nails. He knows it makes them hurt and get bloody, but sometimes he just can’t help it.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He can be very rude if he’s working, but to be fair, it is really annoying to be bothered in the middle of your work.

44. Why might someone love them?

Who wouldn’t love an overworked science boye? But in all seriousness, if he loves someone, he will be very caring towards them and is also just great listener. Tries not to care any more though because of personal trauma.

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yup. He’s heard of people’s encounters with them. Honestly, you’d be stupid to not believe in them.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

At this point? No. Farkas later down the line? Yes.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Farkas, but we ain’t talking about that yet~

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

49. Do they like surprises?

No. Please do not surprise this poor man he will stagger back and crash into everything.

50. When is their birthday?

9th of Hearthfire (September 9th)

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

He takes a few seconds to acknowledge it and then gets on with his work.

52. Do they have any family?

Yup! A Mom, a Dad, a younger sister, and a male cousin that lives nearby (he’s in the Thalmor and the whole family has very Pro-Thalmor views)

53. Are they close to their family?

HAH- no~

54. What is their MBTI type?

INTJ (Damn this list for making me look up stereotypes for this. Honestly I hate the MBTI system so much-)

55. What is their zodiac sign?

Virgo

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Ravenclaw

57. What D&D alignment are they?

If lawful chaotic good was a thing then yes

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Yes, but they are often so tangled up that it’s hard to get any real meaning from them.

59. What are their views on death?

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll be fine-” Hopes that he’ll be fine but is really scared about it.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Bad science puns. He will stifle a chuckle before telling you how bad your joke was.

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

This man does not get bored. He will always find something alchemy related to study or look into.

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

Yes. Laureli loves the Skyrim weather (for the most part. Places like Dawnstar and Winterhold suck)

63. Do they have an accent?

Yes. He has the typical Altmer accent.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

“Why is this here? This isn’t mine.”

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say

He would probably take too long deciding and die before he could do/say anything.

66. How do they feel about sex?

Sex repulsed asexual.

67. What is their sexuality?

GAY

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

Nope.

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

He’s seen so much it would take a lot to surprise him here.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

Grumpy scientist with no people skills.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yes, definitely

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Not really. (Lucky)

73. Do they have a pet?

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Nope, unless you press his buttons. His anger is pretty much “What in the name of Auri-el is wrong with you?! Don’t touch my equipment!!”

75. How patient are they?

Very...until you hit his limit. Then he gets passive aggressive.

76. Are they good at cooking?

Not really. He can be good at it, he just chose not to learn in favor of working on his projects. Can make enough to live on, though.

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

He doesn't have a favorite insult (he rarely insults people).

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Talking fast, pacing, flappy hands.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

Try to avoid bringing those fears up around them and avoiding making fun of them. If their fear is nearby, he will either tell them or take care of it. (which is good because Farkas is scared of spiders)

80. Are they trustworthy?

Yes, but you have to be a very certain kind of person to work with him.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Sometimes, especially romantic feelings. Romantic attraction? Nope, not possible- (It totally is; he’s in denial)

82. Do they exercise regularly?

With all of the walking he does around various holds, yes.

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yes. He’s a perfectionist with many things, but has learned to let go a bit more when it comes to his appearance. He still will take ages to get ready, though.

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

Tattoos, braids, basically everything you’d see on a typical Nord. It’s so different from his home and he’s completely enamored.

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Himbo nord men. Sweet morons basically.

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Not really. Sweet foods do have their place, but he isn’t wanting to get any cavities, so he tries to limit his sugar. (Especially since Altmer live 200-300 years aprox)

87. What is their age?

52 (~20s for an Altmer)

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

Tall, but about average for an Altmer

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

No, but if he did he would have half-moon spectacles.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

Not really. He doesn’t really think anyone is attractive. (Well, except for Nord himbos, but he doesn’t know that until he meets Farkas)

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Practically nonexistent, but when there is humor it’s mostly dry and sardonic.

92. What mood are they most often in?

That sort of focused work mode you get in when you’re really concentrating, as well as somewhat-sociable-but-still-kind-of-tired-and-grumpy

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People messing up his equipment. Oh sweet Auri-el, if you touch his things he will explode. Also, he hates the racism that the Thalmor promote. (He hates racism in general, but he hates the Thalmor’s views the most).

94. Outlook on life?

“It sucks, but I do find quite a bit fascinating and I’ll help where I can.”

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

His perfectionism, how lonely he knows he is, and more.

96. What is their greatest weakness?

Again, his perfectionism, as well as having his work dictate more in his life than he should.

97. What is the greatest strength?

His brain. He remembers small details extremely well, and is practically an encyclopedia when it comes to alchemy.

98. Something that they regret?

How awful he used to be to everyone back home. He got a lot of pushback on his dreams and who he was, so he lashed out. Even though there wasn’t much he could do there, he still regrets hiring his family and wants to try at a relationship again with them (lol good luck).

99. Biggest accomplishment?

How is this different from “Greatest Achievement”?

100. Create your own! (Why is his alchemy so different from the norm?)

Because he’s trying to do something much more along the lines of modern medicine as opposed to just potions.

101. (Bonus!) Why is he in Skyrim?

Because it’s rather lacking in the medicine department compared to the other provinces, so he decided his talents would be best used there. Obviously, his family protested, but he went anyways.

#oc #laureli #skyrim

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