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#but that’s neither here nor there I guess
achromatophoric · 2 days
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At some anonymous meeting in Connecticut.
Girl 1: So why’re you here?
Girl 2: My girlfriend insisted I attend at least once. Yourself?
Girl 1: My mom.
Girl 2: Ah. Mothers.
Girl 1: *smirks* So who was yours?
Girl 2: Mine?
Girl 1: Yeah, the other reason for being here. Your dude.
Girl 2: *sighs* Ah. Right.
Girl 2: Tall. White. Traditionally handsome with a mop of tousled hair. Like a tall glass of bland water in plaid. Regretfully generic.
Girl 1: Seriously? Ugh. Same here. Like, to a T.
The two share a moment of amicable silence.
Girl 1: So uh… a girlfriend, huh?
Girl 2: Quite. She is everything I never wanted.
Girl 1: Cool cool cool. Maybe I oughta—
Newcomer: Hey Wednesday, ya ready to go?
Wednesday: Of course, mi corazón. *stands* It was acceptable speaking with you…
Girl 1: Astrid. Astrid Deetz.
Wednesday: *nods* Deetz. This is my beloved, Enid.
Enid: Howdy!
Astrid: Nice to meet you. Have a good day, I guess?
Wednesday: And a terrible day to you.
Astrid watches the pair leave as a mix of curiosity and longing crosses her face.
Astrid: *murmurs* Girls, huh? I wonder— FUCK!
Hot coffee soaks across Astrid’s sweater. She jumps to her feet as a British-accented voice pipes up.
New girl: Oh shit! I’m SO sorry! I didn’t mean to coffeelize you like that.
Astrid: Did you just say coffeeli— *looks up*
Astrid: 😳
New girl: Yeah, uh —*nervous giggle*— gosh, please let me make this up to you? It’ll only take a few jiffies. My name’s Pippa. Exchange student. *holds out hand*
Astrid: Astrid. It’s nice to meet you, Pippa. *takes hand*
Pippa: That’s such a cool name! Nordic for “divine beauty,” yeah? I think it suits you!
Astrid: *smiles* Um. Thanks.
Both girls stand there, briefly at a loss for words. They notice neither how their hands are still clasped, nor the mischievous werewolf who is peeking from around a corner.
Wednesday: Are you quite done reveling in your success? We’ve a flight to Los Angeles to catch.
Enid: Yup! Mission accomplished. Let’s go!
Wednesday: Finally. Now then, about this Phoebe and Cecilia—
Enid: CC.
Wednesday: Fine. So about Phoebe and CC…
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posting my deranged ramble on eurylochus epic the musical here because i'm kinda sick of the eurylochus slander going on in some parts of the fandom
I can't help but see eurylochus’ trust in odysseus as comparable to that of faith in a god– his worldview of “cut your losses” was challenged numerous times by odysseus continuing to try and stick to polites’ “open arms” philosophy which is arguably more morally good, and so he too began to change his mind, but when odysseus willingly sacrificed 6 men, even if it was the better option at the time, the fact that he made the sacrifice knowlingly rather than pulling off another miraculous success like with circe, where he saved all their men turned into pigs, or when he made a last-minute plan with the cyclops, this shattered eurylochus’ faith in odysseus and his worldview and that putting his trust in him was the best option.
not to get all christian in this greek mythology musical but something something confessing his act of opening the wind bag, something something confessing sins. perhaps eurylochus blamed himself for everything that happened after the wind bag, poseidon, etc. something something seeking redemption, absolution, something something realizing that odysseus isn't some infallible being but just a man, like him. something, odysseus is going to put his desire to reunite with penelope and telemachus above eurylochus and the crew’s wellbeing, odysseus isn't going to forgive him, he and the crew won't be able to make it back home. something something, “i need you to always be devout”. heck even the “i am neither man nor mythical” moment of hubris.
eurylochus killed the cow knowing he would die both because of the guilt he carried for opening the wind bag and betraying odysseus, and because of his hopelessness, accepting that there was no way they could make it home because odysseus was just a man, and even if he wasn't, he had already turned his back on him. they had already turned their backs on each other.
to be clear, i don't think eury actually saw odysseus as a god or anything, what with how he constantly second-guessed and challenged him, but he did definitely put him on a pedestal i think, and what's more, i think after the wind bag, eurylochus' trust in his own judgement took a hard hit, so he turned to odysseus to put that faith in him instead. especially after circe, where odysseus successfully saved all their men because he didn't listen to eurylochus' suggestion of cutting their losses, and during the underworld, where they were confronted by all the men that died (inadvertently) because of eurylochus' mistake. and then scylla happens, and eurylochus has the realization, odysseus isn't a miracle worker, he is not all that different from eurylochus. he’s just a man. and more importantly, he doesn't have the crew's best interests at heart. so then mutiny happens and eurylochus realizes that he's not as good of a leader as odysseus is, he can't get them home, odysseus can't or won't get them home, and succumbs to despair.
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ms-nesbit · 2 days
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Title: cosmic (a jason todd x reader fic)
Chapter III of ???
Rating: 18+ (eventual smut, language, violence i guess, and mention of past abuse)
Tw: abuse, violence, and smut.
Summary: 
y/n meets dick and barbara, who try to set y/n up with dick’s big little brother.
ao3
“Perfect! Before you go, y/n, I have someone I’d like for you to meet.” Barbara smiled from ear to ear, somewhat different from her cheeky tone. “Y/n, this is Jason, Dick’s brother.” Y/n turned around to greet the man, only to find herself in the same predicament she was in a few minutes prior: her eyes at his chest. “And Jason, this is y/n. She just left New York with a degree in criminology and a distaste for the Gotham Police.” Barbara finished her sentence in a husher tone, attempting to avoid unwanted attention from the enforcement officers surrounding them.
“Ah!” Jason’s face beamed. “Pleasure to meet you, y/n. Have we met before?” His hazel eyes slowly scanned y/n’s outfit, causing her skin to flush. He took y/n’s hand and pressed it against his pink lips, his gaze never leaving y/n’s.
“Don’t be intimidated by the stature. Underneath the meathead look, he’s a decent guy.” Dick detailed, half-teasingly.
“Meathead? Don’t blame me because Wayne blessed me with his height.” Jason retorted, crossing his arms around his chest.
“We’re not even blood related!” Dick erupted in disbelief, drawing attention from a few folks around them. He ran his fingers through his gelled hair as he cooled off.
“If you’ll excuse us, we’ll be talking with the chief about some infrastructure planning for the coming parade next month.” Barbara stated, pulling the upset Dick by the arm as they fled the scene.
“So…” Jason began, stepping closer to y/n. “Have you gotten a tour of the zoo? Or just this area in particular?”
Y/n cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, because I’ve lived here for a few years with Bruce, so I can give you a pretty well-informed tour of the place, if you’re interested, of course.”
“Oh!” y/n realized what Jason was doing, and nodded. “You only lived here for a few years? How much of an expert could you really be?”
Jason flashed her a toothy smile. “Did I mention that those few years were my teenage years, when I was at my most delinquent and distant from abiding by Bruce's rules?”
“Okay, fine.” Y/n rolled her eyes, caving in to Jason’s adorable attempt at enchantment. 
Offering his elbow for y/n to take, the pair left the gala, heading toward a set of stairs toward the second floor. On their way, y/n took a chance to look up at the artwork on the ceiling, gawking at the intricate artistry. Jason, on the other hand, kept his eyes on y/n, unaware of the grin forming on his face.
“So what brings you here?” Jason finally breaks the silence as they make their way to the top of the staircase, helping y/n onto the second floor. Y/n placed her hand back on his arm, this time holding his large bicep. She felt the contour of the muscle through the blazer.
“Barbara and Dick invited me to the gala to meet-”
“No, not the gala, y/n,” Jason replied. “To Gotham. Why leave New York for Gotham ?”
Y/n hadn’t been honest with anyone about her departure from New York, and she wasn’t sure if this was the right time to start. She bit her bottom lip, unsure of how to answer. Before the anxiety engulfed her, Jason placed his hand over hers, gently rubbing the skin. “It’s okay if you can’t talk about it. We all have our skeletons.” He looked at her warmly, this time more emerald than stormy gray, and y/n felt the sun through the clouds in his irises.
“This building was constructed in the 1800s, if you were wondering.” He started, still caressing y/n’s hand that was placed on his bicep. “At least that’s what Alfred told me when I first came here.”
“He took care of you?” Y/n asked, turning to look up at Jason, who nodded.
“Yeah, he is more family than Bruce, honestly. But that’s neither here nor there. Shall we?” Jason extended his free arm toward a single door that was marked ‘Do Not Enter!’ in bright red letters, its modern lettering standing out from the old decor of the door and trim. Letting go of y/n’s hand, Jason stepped toward the door, lifting the door slightly before turning the handle and opening the door with a click. “Right this way.” He nudged, grinning mischievously as he held the door open for y/n.
“Are we allowed in here?” y/n asked nervously as she stepped into the room, looking around at the posters hanging on the walls.
“Whose room do you think this is?” Jason scoffed. “Besides, what are Bruce and Dick gonna do if we’re in this room, kick us out?” He took a seat on the computer chair, lifting his feet onto the desk beside it, and interlocking his fingers behind his head. Y/n stood awkwardly, deciding on taking a seat on Jason’s old bed, which gave a rather rude creak when she sat on it. “See? Isn’t this a little bit better?”
Y/n wanted to disagree, given how little she’s known about this man, and how he is alone with her in a place where nobody else knows her - if she goes missing, there wouldn’t be any leads. In any other circumstance, y/n would have made an excuse to flee, pulled the red string to sound the alarm, anything;
Yet this wasn’t any other circumstance. For some reason, she trusts Jason, and is willing to yank the walls down to allow for his entry. After years of contempt for the opposite sex, y/n felt as comfortable as she was prior to…
“I feel okay.” y/n replied curtly. “But if this was your room, what are all these posters doing up?”
“What do you mean?” Jason rested his hands on his lap now, sitting up.
“ Movements? Tigers Jaw? The Misfits? Someone had a very angsty teenhood, if you ask me.” Y/n propped herself up on her arms, which were placed behind her. She crossed her legs, the fabric of the pencil skirt hiking up a bit. Jason withheld the temptation of glancing at her legs, heat rising to his cheeks as she spoke.
Instead, he tempted her, shimmying off the blazer to present his frame through his red button-up top. “You a fan?”
“Being from Ohio, I’m a fan of Midwestern Emo,” y/n started, “and The Misfits are just classic, but what I am a bigger fan of is the fact that you have some Stevie Nicks albums hiding under your PC cabinet there.” She pointed her chin at the lowest shelf of the desk, where two albums were discreetly hidden away from plain sight. While Jason reached over to retrieve the items, y/n caught a glimpse of his shoulders, muscles teasing her through the thin fabric. If she wasn’t so scared of vulnerability, she would have torn it off so see what was underneath the cotton blend.
“Hm.” He smirked at y/n, his gray streaks falling past his forehead and onto his eyes. “Pretty woman has brains and good eyes. What’s your deal?”
Y/n couldn’t help but blush at the remark, but played it off with a shrug. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours first.”
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theloveinc · 2 years
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saaame i miss 2021 tumblr everyone left and its so sad
yeah. like, I don’t mind people left but… since no one really ended up replacing them, it’s just a bummer that we got used to all that content.
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ganondoodle · 10 months
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so, inspired by the warm welcome the captain received with that rough doodle i posted, i made an updated design for Ki'ita as well (basic and with clothes)
i removed the piercings she had bc considering that they spend the majority of their time in arctic waters i think having metal directly in your skin is a bad idea, no matter how thick your blubber is; i also gave her typical white markings a green hue bc ... i liked how it looked and makes them stand out a little more
(i will not repeat what i wrote on the post about the captain but wanted to add a bit of more info about Ki'ita herself)
(i dont have ALL of their backstory done yet but) the captain and Ki'ita worked together in another organization, one in which the father of the captains child also worked at, before being betrayed and barely managing to escape, after which the both of them founded their pirate crew (possible name is the Solar Pirates bc of their solar powered boat stuff); since the captain had her daughter shortly afterwards Ki'ita managed most of the organisational matters at first, including the construction of their base on an abandoned island they had initially fled to
over the years they invented the solar powered ships that allowed them to gain control over a large part of an important trade route, leaving normal ships (mostly) alone but attacking those of hunters and similar, rescuing demons and mutants, even some humans from them, most of which also join the crew and it quickly lead to them becoming their own little community
Ki'ita does not like to spend alot of time among large groups of people, no matter how much she cares about them, and her originally being from norther lands gave her the idea to explore, and if viable, do underground missions in those norther areas to disrupt the infrastructure the hunters had built in recent years and overall keep the crew informed about things that may otherwise stay hidden; with each of their travels her time absent from the base increased but the patience of the captain is wearing thin so its likely a serious talk is underway on Ki'itas third solo mission she nearly died due to entanglement in abandoned nets made by hunters from an unknown material that she could not break, the massive scars on her tail especially come from that, only surviving bc the date they were supposed to return to the crew had passed and the captain grew to worried about her and made the entire crew rush into an emergency search, including the captain herself and her toddler, who were not suited for the cold climate just like the rest of crew, taking a huge risk that Ki'ita still feels ashamed of for causing; they stayed within the base for a whole year afterwards, not just to recover but also as a silent apology, taking time preparing herself to ensure theyd not get into a situation like that again
(before departing on their next mission the captain gifted her a sword with the blade made from the material of the net, a wooden handle, bc of the cold, and a blue wrap around it reminiscent of the captains striking blue teeth; a reminder of what had happened, a means to defend herself when their strength and teeth are not enough, and also a promise to always return again)
the oldest members of the crew know Ki'ita well and treat her like an old friend, among the newer members she has more of a .. cryptic status, the mysteriously absent vice-captain who only appears every few months or so out of thin air, throws a big party, sleeps for a few days and then vanishes again, the only hint to when they will return soon again being the captain getting noticably grumpier
(OC art, Ki'ita, she/they)
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spooksier · 5 months
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been trying to get on ye olde testosterone for like 2 yrs now but i just realized that im 22 now which marks the 7 years i gave myself to figure out whether or not i really want to transition when i was 15….baby boy juice time approaches
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lgbtlunaverse · 4 months
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I do think it's rather unfair for hades game 2 to literally give us a sapphic moon witch and then proceed to have no love inerests you could conceivably do the "sun lesbian/moon lesbian" thing with. That's like lesbophobic I think. They need to bring the iliad characters back and put cassandra (priestess of apollo, which counts as decent sun symbolism I think) in the game or i'm gonna make a genderbent helios out of pure desperation.
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A Timeline of Events in the Artemis Fowl Series
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If anyone's interested, I did do an actual analysis for where I pulled some of these dates from. But because I cannot type succinctly to save my life, it's 5,000 words long, so that's below the cut. I also put the timeline there again, but in three separate images, so hopefully they load well enough to be fully legible if the above isn't.
A thousand thanks to @sadbitchapologist and @zahnie for their help and advice with this, despite neither of them having any more than the barest interest in the series and therefore having no clue what I was on about. Thanks also to @orangerosebush for fielding completely out-of-the-blue questions about the French school system, so I didn't have to attempt to navigate web search results to figure out what mandatory gym classes were like for the sole purpose of plotting Luc's birthday on here.
An Analysis of the Timelines in the Artemis Fowl Series
A Brief Introduction
The Artemis Fowl series is made up of eight books covering a range of years and events. I wanted to see how accurate the timelines present in the books were, as well as try and plot out some other details implied in the novels but not explicitly stated, to have a better understanding of the overall world-building. To that end, I went through the series and made the above timeline. I colour-coded it based on the relevance of the specific items to certain categories, namely Humans, Fairies, Villains, and the Series itself. This does mean that some things could have fit into multiple categories. For instance, you will see some items involving Opal categorized as Fairy-Specific (such as her college years, as those are fairly neutral to the main plot or her villainy), Villain-Specific (such as her setting up her emergency fund, as that is mostly related to her schemes as opposed to relevant to her existence as a fairy, or part of the main plot of the series), and Plot-Specific (such as her opening the Berserker Gate, the primary plot point for the final book).
Before we really delve into things though, we should establish the baseline assumptions I was working with. Firstly, I am only using the original series. I have not used anything written in The Fowl Twins trilogy, given that those books seem to ret-con a considerable amount of the original information, and that is far too many headaches to give myself. Any supplemental series information, such as the short stories found in The Artemis Fowl Files, or anything from interviews is also not included. The premise here is: using just the original books, what is the event timeline of the world? The second thing we need to establish is that I am using the North American releases of the novels. I did make notes on where each bit of information comes from, but there isn’t really a citation style for this kind of thing, so I’m not sure how relevant that is. The third assumption is that the first book takes place the year it was originally published. According to my copy, the original publication was 2001, with the first American paperback edition coming out in 2002, and the first mass market paperback being released in 2003. This means our starting point is in 2001.
For sake of clarity, this analysis will start with setting the dates of the books and continue on from there.
The Basics of The Books
With that out of the way, let’s talk about the first book, Artemis Fowl (AF). It is actually not until the very end of the book that we get a solid answer for when it takes place. It’s only in the last few pages of the novel that Angeline Fowl leaves her attic room after all the plot points are tied up and announces that it is Christmas Day. This might be cause for concern – Angeline had not previously been established as a particularly reliable narrator – but given that we are asked to believe that Holly’s ‘feel better’ mood booster worked, and that neither Butler nor Artemis balk at or question the pronouncement that is Christmas Day, we’ll accept that it’s true and move on. This means that, with Butler’s earlier announcement that he was stuck doing four months of stakeout, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that Artemis obtained and translated the Fairy Book in September 2001, and managed to capture a fairy in December of the same year.
Moving on to Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (TAI), we are given a decent chunk of information, albeit spread out a bit. The first is the announcement that the ransom drop for Artemis Fowl I is to be held on the fourteenth. The fourteenth of what, you might ask? Well, we are told that Artemis is currently thirteen years old. Clearly, things are past September 1, 2002 (we know Artemis’s birthday is September 1 based on information in both the fifth and seventh books). We are also told that Luc Carrere has been trading with the goblins for six months, starting in July. That puts us in either December or January, but we can narrow it down further since Artemis gives us another helpful clue. He mentions they are not expecting to see the dawn while attempting to rescue his father in the Arctic. There are only a few latitudes on Earth where polar night (of any type) occurs, and at Murmansk, polar twilight occurs between December 10 – January 2. Combining all of this, we learn that TAI takes place December 14, 2002, give or take a few days to either side.
This can be corroborated by information in Book 3, Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (TEC). After Holly heals Artemis Senior, we are told that it takes over two months for him to wake up. Since we are specifically told two months, as opposed to two and a half or three, we can conclude that the events of TEC take place in March 2003. Mulch gives us some information that confirms this. He was living in LA “less than four months ago,” and since he was conscripted to help with the events of TAI in December, a March plotline fits the bill. We are given further confirmation as well: Spiro mentions that Artemis will be fourteen in six months. A specific date for Artemis & Co.’s attack on Spiro’s Needle can be pulled from the throw-away line that Pex and Chips are “burying” Mulch on the full moon. A quick web search tells us that the full moon in March of 2003 takes place on March 14, and the rest of the events in the novel take place roughly two days to either side of that.
In Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (TOD), the fourth book in the series, we are given several very clear indications of when the events take place. Firstly, Artemis is contemplating that at fourteen years and three months old, he is the youngest person to successfully obtain The Fairy Thief. Based on previously noted details that his birthday is in September, the events of TOD must take place in December of 2003. Additionally, we are told that things are the middle of winter and Opal has been in a coma for eleven months and counting as of the end of TAI, another December plot.
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (TLC) requires the most math and interpretation so far to figure out when it takes place. We know Artemis is still fourteen, so the main events clearly happen sometime between January 2004 and September 2004. Beyond that, we are using a fair amount of context clues. Artemis and Butler have evidently been traveling for four months looking for demons, so we are dealing with events in at least May. But that still leaves us several summertime months to work with, so to establish a timeline here, we will need to look forward a bit. In the sixth book, Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (TTP), it’s noted that Artemis is not yet fifteen, and has, on multiple occasions, spent the full moon in the study. Ergo, he’s spent at least a few months back from Hybras. If he has been back for two months and not yet turned fifteen, he would have had to have returned by July at the latest, and since he returns almost three years later than he leaves, we are looking at him returning in either May or June. This would have him disappearing to Hybras – and by extension, dealing with the earlier events in the book – in June, July, or August. After his conversation with Minerva, he notes to Butler that they “are planning a June wedding,” which wouldn’t make sense to say if they were currently in the month of June. From all of this, we can extrapolate that the first three-quarters of TLC take place in late July or early August 2004, with the triumphant return of our intrepid heroes occurring in June 2007.
As previously stated, TTP mentions that Artemis is still not fifteen, but is nearly there. He has also been home again for at least two months. This would put the events of the sixth book in August 2007. At least, the events set in the current time period. TTP does bring back time travel, and with it some problems. We are told that Artemis and Holly jump back nearly eight years to Artemis being ten and trying to fund searches for his missing father. This would put the events of the past in early 2000. However, other details presented regarding Artemis Senior’s disappearance, which we will discuss later, make that impossible. Artemis also admits, in TEC, that he was eleven when his father disappeared, not ten. If we take a bit of creative license with our interpretations and base the time-jump to the past on other presented information as opposed to the dates given in TTP, we can say that Holly and Artemis instead return to early 2001. This lines up with further details, such as the sinking of the Fowl Star (as calculated a few paragraphs down in this analysis) occurring in December of 2000, and the textual confirmation in TTP that it’s barely two months past that sinking when Artemis brokers the deal(s) regarding the silky sifaka lemur. Since, at the end of the day, the time jump impacts very little in the grand scheme of things, and the year 2001 actually fits in better with other textual evidence and events, that’s what I’m going with for this timeline.
The seventh book, Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex (TAC) gives us a very helpful base point! It takes place on Artemis’s fifteenth birthday, September 1. From our previous results on setting dates for book events, that would be September 1, 2007. The sections in which Butler and Juliet are fighting mesmerized wrestling fans and meeting up with Mulch are noted in the novel as happening “the day before,” which would fall on August 31, 2007.
Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (TLG), the eighth and final book in the series, creates some problems. If we assume that Artemis starts receiving treatment for his Atlantis Complex immediately after diagnosis in TAC¸ that would put him receiving treatment in September 2007. We are told he is certified as cured after six months. Yet we are also told that the rest of the events of the book take place in the week or so leading up to the Christmas holidays. Everything so far has said that the Artemis Fowl series follows the current calendar, in which case there is no way that six months can fit between September 1, 2007 and December 25, 2007. However, the only reference to Christmas is in two lines noting that the Fowl parents were planning on holidaying with their children on a foreign beach. If we simply say that six months have passed, and they are instead planning on spending the Irish school system’s spring holidays in the French Riviera, everything else lines up much better. So that’s what I’ve done. This would also put the resurrection of Artemis, after the events of the book and a further six months have passed, at roughly September of 2008. There is a pleasing symmetry to Artemis being born and then re-born in September, though if you want to get really technical and say the events of TLG take place during the 2008 March full moon as Opal claims (as noted in another web search as March 28), a six-month wait time for the clone to grow would put the resurrection in October. Still, there is something to be said for having a boy’s ghost haunting a clone of himself close to All Hallows. Since it’s the last plot point of the series, you can choose which you’d like; it doesn’t have to lead to anything else after it.
Let’s Talk Timelines: The Beginning of the Line to The End of The 19th Century
Now that we have our baseline book time periods established, we can get into the math used to determine some of the events in the timeline above. Several events are easy; we are given specific dates for them. Turnball Root meets Leonor in 1938, Juliet wins the Miss Sugar Beet Fair beauty contest in 1999. Other things are based on some basic math, such as Artemis claiming his parents got married fourteen years prior to AF¸ putting that event in 1987.
The majority of the items on the above timeline, however, do take some mathematics, extrapolation, and interpretation to plot out. To try and keep everything organized, we’ll start at the far left of the timeline, and work our way forwards, looking at events oldest-to-newest to explain why they are where they are on the graph. I won’t be getting too in-depth on everything in the graph, since I’m not sure how relevant the notes on the very minor side characters such as Carla Frazetti are, but I’ll at least try to touch on some of the more relevant points.
To start with, the Battle of Taillte was noted in the 2000’s as being ten thousand years ago, putting that at 8000 BCE. Similarly, the last dome breach at Atlantis was apparently eight thousand years ago in the 2000’s, so that would be 6000 BCE. Troll sideshows were legal in the early middle ages, which implies they were not legal after that. A quick web search says the early middle ages ended around 1000. The first crusades were in 1096-1099, and as those crusades are the start point of the Butler-Fowl working relationship, a point for noting that comes next on the graph.
From there, we get into more modern – relatively speaking – events. Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root are noted as attending the LEP Academy together and being raised in the same tunnel, as well as having about 600 years of history together. If one assumes “being raised in the same tunnel” is similar to the human equivalent of “growing up in the same neighbourhood,” we can assume the two were born roughly 600 years ago, in the 1400’s. Vinyaya is portrayed as being of a similar age to Root, so her birth can also be put in the same general era. We are also told that Fowl Manor was originally a castle built in the fifteenth century, that in the early 2000’s the theories of timeline corruption were first introduced over five centuries ago, and that cloning has been banned for over five hundred years, so those three events are also tossed into the 1400’s.
Julius Root is noted as doing his LEP basic training 500 years ago in Ireland, so that would have to be in the 1500’s. He would have attended the Academy before then, putting that in the mid-to-late 1400’s. As previously stated, he was in the Academy with Cudgeon. Opal also met Cudgeon in college, and competed with Foaly for science prizes there, so they were all in school at the same time.
Mulch now enters the picture. We aren’t ever given a specific age range for him, but we are told about his career. He has, apparently, spent three centuries in and out of prison after a couple centuries of success as a thief. This would make him at least five hundred years old. There is a brief mention that he tried the athletic route at college before becoming a thief, so he would have to be an adult at that point, putting his age at roughly 550 years during the events of the series.
We then enter a period filled in from one-off lines throughout the series, presumably added to give some depth to the world. Things about the wine cellar at Fowl Manor being a seventeenth century addition, Captain Eusebius Fowl and his crew dying in the eighteenth century, and Mulch first faking his own death over two hundred years ago.
Time Marches On: The 20th Century
There is nothing of much relevance to linger on between the 1550’s and the 20th century, so we’ll jump ahead to the 1900’s, when we have Holly Short’s birthday. She is in her eighties during TLC, and her father died “over twenty years ago” when she was “barely sixty” as of TAI. Based on that, she would have been in her early eighties in 2002, putting her birthday sometime in the 1920’s. What a doll.
A few more birthdays now appear, and we’ll ignore, for the most part, some of the irrelevant ones. I don’t think we are at all concerned with Gaspard Paradizo’s birthday, or Mikhael Vassikin. We are, however, rather more interested in Jon Spiro, Domovoi Butler, and Artemis Fowl I.
Jon Spiro enters the series in TEC, as a middle-aged American. A quick search on the Internet says that middle age is generally noted as being between the ages of 40 to 60. We are told that Spiro has worked in three main industries over the past two and a half decades. Additionally, we are told that law enforcement has been “trying to put [him] away for thirty years.” If we assume he entered the working world at twenty, spent five years developing his professional self, and then started going down a path of questionable legality to get the police after him, that would put him at fifty-five in 2003, and born in the late 1940’s.
It was a bit easier to determine Domovoi Butler’s age, and we can get more specific with his actual birthday. We are told that he is forty at the start of TEC, and he is still forty during TOD. From that, we can assume his birthday is not between March – December, which means it has to be between January – March. Now, we can just leave things there, but contextually, Butler says in late March 2003 that “a lot of people know [him] as a forty-year old man.” Since I doubt he’s the kind of person who introduces himself by announcing that his birthday was last week, we can assume that his birthday is not in March. Since about half the books in the series take place in December, and there is never any mention of Butler’s birthday coming up soon, we can likely assume it isn’t in January. We can therefore conclude Butler was born in February, 40 years before 2003, which puts his birth year in 1963.
We then have Artemis Fowl I. This one took the most extrapolation to determine. We know he has run an ethical empire for a few years as of 2007, which coincides with his return to his family after being kidnapped by the Mafia. He apparently ran a successful criminal empire for two decades before that, though, so in 2007 he has been working for at least 25 years. Based on the interactions he had with his own son, I’ve assumed he was also taught to take over the family business from a young age. If he started working at his age of majority at 18 (as possible in the 1980’s in Ireland, based on a web search), we can assume he was born in roughly the mid 60’s.
Billy Kong, born Jonah Lee, is one to touch on. He plays a large role in TLC, during which we are given possibly the most backstory of any villain in the series. He was evidently born in the early 1970’s, and was eight years old in the early 1980’s. Mathematically, that can only lend itself to so many birth years, so it’s easy enough to put his birthdate somewhere in 1973, and his brother’s death date in 1981.
While we’re here, let’s talk about the 1980’s. A lot of things happen in the 80’s, so we’ll be here for a few paragraphs. Butler would have graduated Madam Ko’s Academy in the early ‘80s, Artemis I would have started working in his family’s business and stolen some warrior mummies (of note, the theft is only noted as being in Artemis Sr.’s “gangster days,” but if you are a young, rich criminal, you’d likely commit a wild theft in your early years as opposed to your thirties, which is why this is put in here). Additionally, in the mid 1980’s, Holly graduates the LEP Academy and her mother dies, as noted in TTP when she is contemplating missing three years of her friends lives.
Butler would have started his five-year stint in Russia with an espionage unit in the mid-to-late 80’s, and become a big brother in 1985. Juliet is noted at being four years older than Artemis in AF in 2001, and he is twelve then, making her sixteen at the time. We can extrapolate the month from TEC, wherein she is apparently eighteen when she is called regarding her brother’s apparent death. At the time, we are told what gifts she received for her birthday, implying it was fairly recent. Additionally, Artemis was only thirteen at that time, which would make Juliet five years older than Artemis. If, however, we trust that acolytes at Madam Ko’s start their training on their tenth birthday and get one chance to graduate per year, it would make sense for that one chance to be on their birthday, or within a day or two to allow for as much training time as possible. Since Juliet was in the midst of this one graduation evaluation when she gets the phone call and joins the crew for the March heist at Spiro’s Needle, she’d have to be born in March. (We can also corroborate this with some details from AF: if AF  takes place in mid-September, that would be just after Artemis’s birthday, which puts the 4-year age difference back into play.)
Spelltropy begins for the People in 1987, if it appeared 20 years ago from 2007. Artemis I and Angeline Fowl would get married in 1987. They would have their first child, Artemis Fowl II, in 1989, as calculated by Artemis being twelve during the initial siege of the Manor in December 2001. Artemis II’s grandfather was noted as having been dead for over ten years at that point, and it was mentioned in TEC that Angeline married her husband before he really took over the family business, so those events would likely happen when Artemis was but a baby in 1990.
The ‘90s are a period where a lot of things are happening, but few are particularly important. Spelltropy has a cure found, Minerva Paradizo is born, Juliet begins her bodyguard training and her brother refuses to let her shave her hair. These, and other events in the 90’s, are mostly calculated by math along the lines of “Event A happened X number of years ago,” but since the 90’s was mostly a time of worldbuilding events rather than plot events, we’ll just skim over the specific details.
‘You Are Here’: The 21st Century, and Where The Storytelling Begins
Welcome to the 2000’s! The kick-off point of not only the 2000’s, but also the entire series, is the sinking of the Fowl Star. We aren’t given a specific date for this, but we are given enough information to extrapolate the date. Specifically, in September 2001, in AF, we are told Fowl Sr. has been missing for almost a year. In TAI, in December, we are told he has been missing for almost two years. That does have the potential to have the ship go down in either December or January, so we need to use a bit more details from TAI to make a final determination. Mikhael Vassikin and Kamar were told to dump Fowl’s body in the Kola if he didn’t wake up in “another year,” so they’ve been looking after him for one at that point. Fowl Sr. wakes up two weeks before the deadline, and as noted earlier, the ransom drop for him takes place December 14, after he has been awake for perhaps a week. From that, we can tell that the deadline for “another year” was mid to late December, putting the initial sinking of the Fowl Star in late 2000.
The analysis gets a bit confusing at this point, because 2001 is when future Artemis and Holly join the party via time travel, as well as having their regular selves in the timestream. Essentially, we’ve established the timeline for the events of TTP above, so we know the whole lemur fiasco takes place in March 2001. Artemis wakes up at the end of that book thinking about fairies, which ties in rather neatly to him then dragging Butler across three continents for six false alarms (with an assumed approximate 3 weeks between each jaunt) before striking metaphorical gold in Ho Chi Minh City in September. During their time-traveling, Holly also gets a chance to talk to Root, who wonders why she isn’t in Hamburg, which was noted in AF as Holly’s first major failure as a Recon officer and was nearly preceding the events of AF. The time-traveling would also mean that Opal would have had to harvest her DNA for future diabolical plans before March 2001, when her younger self travels to the future. Since it takes up to two years to grow a clone to adulthood, and her clone has to be ready in September 2003, we are a few months off in the time requirements, but really, for a practice that’s been outlawed for 500 years, I can offer a bit of leeway.
We are now well and truly in the thick of the main events of the series. Most of this will be tied into the initial assessments we made way at the beginning of this essay, where we established when each book occurs. Because of this, we aren’t going to spend time on anything plot-related. However, a brief note on Turnball Root and Artemis’s Atlantis Complex is likely in order. Artemis was, as previously stated, dealing with his return from Hybras and the after-effects of stealing magic during July and August of 2007. His Atlantis Complex, and Turnball Root’s plan to escape the Deeps prison, are in full swing in September of that year. We have a brief note in TAC during the evacuation of Atlantis, that Turnball had, a month before, spied on Artemis and noted his Atlantis Complex developing. Therefore, Artemis’s Complex likely came into play in late July or early August 2007. This is close enough to Artemis’s magic theft to make sense for the deterioration of his mental health, and enough time for Butler to have started to notice something was wrong, as he did. We can therefore assume that Atlantis Complex, at least in the case of magic-stealing humans who have a propensity for time travel and getting involved in supremely complicated and improbable plots, develops relatively quickly.
This leaves just one major discussion point from the last few books: the age of Artemis’s twin brothers, Beckett and Myles. The twins are first introduced at the very end of TLC. They are written as being two during the events of TTP, three during the events of TAC, and four during the events of TLG. Regardless of the time-traveling shenanigans of their elder brother, it is impossible for the twins to age two years in the eight months between Artemis’s return from Hybras in June 2007 and the finale of the series in March of 2008, so we need to look at what makes sense.
Myles has already potty-trained himself, and done so at fourteen months, so they must be at least that old. Their other behaviours would make sense for them to be two in TTP. Diapers are still a part of their lives, and their language and vocabulary fit what a two-year-old would have, at least in Beckett’s case. Since Artemis was surprised by their existence, it doesn’t seem likely that  Angeline would have known she was pregnant, or at least not have told Artemis yet, when he went to Limbo. Ergo, they can’t be any older than two, since (one would hope) Artemis would have noticed his mother’s pregnancy if the twins were any older.
Additionally, in TLG, we know Artemis gave his brother a birthday present, so he had to have been around during the twin’s birthday at least once. With this fact, the twins cannot be born between March – June, which just leaves the question of when are the twins born?
 The most logical answer is February 2005. If Angeline was early on in her pregnancy, say six weeks (which is when most women start noticing symptoms), when Artemis disappeared in July 2004, she wouldn’t necessarily have told him yet. Then, if we assume that since most twin births occur around the 35-week mark, that would math out to having the twins be born in February of 2005. Fast forward, and they would turn one in February 2006, and two in February 2007, which puts them at the correct age for the events of TTP. [One could argue, of course, that a twin pregnancy in an older woman (unfortunately, there is nothing in the series to indicate Angeline’s age) and in a woman already dealing with significant stress could result in a very premature birth, thereby voiding any of this math and leaving the whole question of the twin’s birthday unanswered. However, since I’d rather not subject the Fowl parents to the strife and misery of having one son missing and presumed dead, and their younger children in the NICU with a low survival rate, I’m working with the assumption that the pregnancy was a healthy and normal one.]
The brief comment from Juliet in TAC about the twins being three can be passed off by them being a little over two-and-a-half and Juliet not being around as she is touring in Mexico. By the time TLG takes place, in March of 2008, the twins would have had their third birthday, allowing for Artemis to give Myles his chair as a birthday present, Beckett to be old enough to no longer need diapers, and the behaviours to act more like children than infants. While this doesn’t quite allow for the repeated textual confirmations in TLG that the twins are four, we’ll go with what mathematically makes sense.
That brings us to the end of the timeline! Not everything is touched on in the timeline, and not everything in the books is plotted (we are never given enough context to know Foaly’s or Opal’s birthdates, for instance). But the main events of the Artemis Fowl series are all analyzed, mathematically or logically or textually corroborated, and plotted out, for use or ignoring as personal preference dictates.
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blood-orange-juice · 5 months
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I think the point of Yae Miko's character is that she is chaotic evil. The only reason she acts even relatively okay is her love for Ei who is lawful evil (which is only moderately better).
Personally, I think it's a beautiful dynamic.
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stellamancer · 1 year
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empty threat (implied-ish gn!reader x satoru gojo)
notes: hi my name is niku and for some fucking reason everyone i know and love thinks i am a gojo fucker. first of all, they are wrong. uh anyway. one of them said a thing and that’s why this fic exists. it’s also @willowser​’s fault so they should take responsibility. thanks to fabi for checking this for me cuz never wrote this man before. 
word count: 1.1k
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“What the hell!”
You’re not sure what you were expecting when you asked to spar with Satoru Gojo. To spend twenty or thirty minutes of your time chasing after a basically untouchable foe until he got bored and decisively ended the fight? To get your ass handed to you as he reminded you, once again, of the difference between you and him? To totally and magnificently lose?
What you can say is you definitely weren't expecting to end up pinning the man who holds the title of the world's strongest sorcerer to the ground. You both know it's not due to your skill as a sorcerer or even due some dumb luck. The only reason why you've got Gojo pinned is simply because he's letting you.
And it pisses you off. It's not like you were expecting to win, but this is just…
"What's wrong?" Gojo asks, mocking you with that disgusting saccharine voice of his. "You look upset. I thought you wanted to beat me."
You do your best to remain calm and not respond to his provocations. Even so, your grip on his wrists tightens ever so slightly.
He notices because of course he does and winces dramatically. "Owie!"
"I know it doesn't hurt," you tell him flatly, resisting the urge to squeeze tighter. It won't do anything to him, but maybe it'd make you feel a little better.
"Nope, not one bit!"
Before you can stop it an annoyed growl escapes your throat and Gojo latches onto it, ready and more than willing to weaponize anything he possibly can. “Come on, what’s got you all frustrated? You can tell me, you know?"
Stupid fucking dumbass piece of shit jerk knows exactly why you’re mad. He probably let you get him because he knew how much it’d aggravate you.
“No need to be so shy,” he continues purposely ignoring your growing rage. “We’re friends after all, aren’t we?”
You choose to remain silent and instantly find it’s the wrong response as Gojo starts to prattle on and on about how he thought that you were friends and how sad he is that you, as his friend won't talk to him, won’t rely on him and blah blah blah. He really loves the sound of his own voice, doesn’t he? Normally, you would just tune him out, but your agitation has left you impaired and on edge.
You need Satoru Gojo to shut up.
Like yesterday.  
Instinct takes over and your body moves on its own, you pull back just a bit before slamming your head in his direction full force. But the hit doesn’t connect because of course it doesn’t. Instead, you feel like you are just hovering over him like an empty threat that you’ll never make good on.
He laughs and your frustration flashes in your chest hot, agitation at its peak. “You know, if you wanted to kiss , you could have just asked.”
“I do not want to kiss you!” you snarl, refusing to take the accusation in silence.
“Oh? You don’t?”
“Hell no!”
“What a shame! I made sure to put on one of Nobara’s lip masks on last night so my lips would be super soft today!”
In a moment of weakness, your eyes flicker to his mouth and his lips curve upward in a smirk. Fuck. It doesn't matter that it was for just a split second— he caught you looking. You consider accusing him of stealing Kugisaki's skin care products to deflect the accusations that are sure to come but before you can the infinity between you dissipates unexpectedly bringing you mere inches from Gojo's infuriating face.
"Well?" he asks, voice intentionally seductive, his warm breath perfuming your face. You manage to suppress a shiver. It's an act. It's an act. He's just trying to get under your skin. "Wanna see for yourself?"
Your refusal lingers at the tip of your tongue— stuck for some reason you don't care to delve into right now.
"Come on." He almost sounds like he's pleading with you, and you keep reminding yourself that the bastard is just fucking with you. "I promise they're really soft."
Your eyes, traitorous things that they are, try to look again, but you force your gaze upward. Maybe if you try headbutting him again it'll work. There's nothing between you now, right?
No harm in trying.
You shift, trying to conceal your movements as best you can before going in for another headbutt. Surely Gojo will put infinity between you when he realizes that you're trying again, saving you both from what could be a massive headache.
But he doesn't.
You end up stopping yourself this time— your mouths even closer now. Too close. You finally take notice of your heart thumping wildly in your chest, the sound echoing in your ears. You should move. You need to move. Now. If you don't, one weird move from either of you will likely close the distance between you.
It's unfortunate for you that Gojo is a fan of weird moves.
He shifts beneath you, just slightly, his chin tilting up and you feel like a thread that's just snapped in two. You reel backwards, repelled by the thought of kissing Satoru Gojo, rejecting the thought, the notion, that for the breadth of a second your lips connected. It didn't happen. It didn't. You still want to wipe your mouth though, just in case. You don’t because you don’t want him to think that maybe there was contact.
Beneath you, Gojo laughs again, amused as he always is. Unsure of what to expect, you jump off him and assume a defensive stance. He rises so that he's sitting up, and you can't tell for sure with that blindfold but you feel like he's watching you.
"I think that's enough for today," he says, pushing himself to his feet. You eye him nervously, keeping your guard up in case it's a fake out. Gojo walks past you nonchalantly and you think that's confirmation that he really is done for the day.
"It was fun," he remarks cheerfully and the fact that it sounds like he means it annoys you a little. Then, his voice drops as he adds, "We should do it again some time."
The way his voice sounds makes it seem like you've just wrapped up a date and not a fight. It makes you feel funny inside and you scowl as you turn to face him, fully intending to tell him to shut up.
But you don't.
Satoru Gojo instead blows you a kiss, immobilizing you before he saunters out the door looking far too pleased with himself.
You stare, your heartbeat erratic and your face warmed by what you're determined to call rage.
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Okay, here are my current notes on the Markarth Incident. This is more of an evolution of thought rather than a final product, 'kay? 'kay. XOXO
4E 174 – The Empire recalls all Legions from the far corners of the Empire to participate in the final assault against the Aldmeri-held Imperial City. Every town and city not on the frontlines is left with a skeleton garrison. 
The Reachmen of Western Skyrim chooses to capitalize on this movement. The Reachmen populate an area of Western Skyrim, Eastern High Rock, and Northern Hammerfell. Although they appear similar to the Bretons of High Rock, they are wholly distinct, worshipping gods completely detached from those of Breton culture. During the Second Era, they once ruled Cyrodiil as the Longhouse Emperors; in recent history, they have lived subject to other races, primarily the Nords, who rule much of the Reach. More often than not, Reachmen are second-class citizens, though very rarely have they received decent though not preferential treatment from a Nordic Jarl.
When the Empire recalls their Legions, the capital of the Reach, Markarth, is left functionally undefended. A Reachman leader, Madanach, takes this opportunity to seize the city and install a Reachmen government in place of the Nords. Madanach declares himself King of the Reach and succeeds the Reach from Skyrim. Contemporary Imperial documents show that Madanach sent emissaries to Emperor Titus Mede II in an attempt to have the Reach recognized as its own Imperial Province wholly separate from Skyrim. Titus Mede appeared to have taken this into serious consideration, though he was unable to give it his full attention as the Empire was planning their attack on the Imperial City. 
Conflicting reports on the time frame of the Reachman takeover exist. Reports vary between the takeover beginning in Fourth Era 174 and 177 when the conflict was over. Contemporary Imperial and Forsworn documentation claim that Madanach’s rule was relatively stable, saying he was fair to the Nords, his people ousted from power, and allowed them to remain in the city so long as they recognized his government. It is said that live around Markarth continued in the same way as before, though under the Reachmen rather than the Nords. It may be important to note that Nord landholders who “mistreated” their Reachmen servants were put to death. 
The Nordic perspective (as shared by Jarl Igmund in Fourth Era 201) claims that the Reachmen takeover was violent, leading to a chaotic period in which Nords were heavily discriminated against and no civil cooperation between races. 
[Madanach’s version of events MAY be closer to the truth. N.B: During his rule, he seems willing to help a group of dissident Blades in exchange for a favor.]
The White-Gold Concordat is signed 11th of Sun’s Dusk, Fourth Era 175; Surviving veterans of the Battle of the Red Ring return to their homes, including large populations of Nordic legionnaires. Talos worship is outlawed. Talos temples are closed, though many continue to worship him in private. Ulfric Stormcloak takes offense to the banning of Talos worship, viewing it as a central aspect of Nord culture. His father, Hoag, the Jarl of Windhelm and Bear of Eastmarch, does not legalize Talos worship despite Ulfric’s religiosity. It may be that he wishes to avoid a conflict with the Empire. Jarl Hrolfdir of Markath, in exile by Madanach’s government, promises Ulfric and his supporters religious freedom should they take back the Reach from the Reachmen. This is in blatant disregard of the White-Gold Concordat. 
Ulfric leads a militia across Skyrim to the Reach where they took back Markarth. A few Reachmen leaders were imprisoned, though others were killed, along with most of their warriors, though some were driven off into the surrounding wilds. The survivors in exile began to call themselves the Forsworn. They attack Nords and the Empire indiscriminately due to anger and feelings of betrayal.
Most of the Reachmen leaders are killed. However, allegedly at the request of the Silver-Blood family, Madanach is taken prisoner and held in the depths of Cidhna Mine. The Forsworn claim that the Nords, under Jarl Hrolfdir and Ulfric Stormcloak, took back the city through an excess of unnecessary violence, putting to death or imprisoning anyone who had even spoken to Madanach or said his name. It is also said that the family members of those who were deemed to be against the Nords’ rule were imprisoned or killed, even down to young children. Purported Imperial propaganda puts forth that Ulfric himself killed everyone in Markarth who would not join his cause. 
It is true that there was bloodshed and death of innocents during the retaking of Markarth. The factuality of this claim can be traced to those Reachmen who survived the incident, sharing their experiences twenty-five years afterward. 
Jarl Hrolfdir was assassinated during attempted peace talks with the Forsworn after the retaking of Markarth. It may be that the incident only grew violent after this point due to Nordic retaliation. 
Why would Ulfric and Jarl Hrolfdir use that much unnecessary violence and brutality against the Reachmen if they intended to negotiate with them afterward?
Perhaps Igmund instigates the brunt of the violence against the Reachmen following his father’s death.
Jarl Hrolfdir was marked for death by the Dark Brotherhood. It is unknown who performed the Black Sacrament on the Jarl. It is possible someone from outside the conflict placed the contract on Jarl Hrolfdir’s head as a means of sewing chaos between the opposing sides (it could have been Igmund or Raerek [crack theory; maybe the brother was trying to Lion King his way into power and failed miserably? Or one of them opposed making peace with the Reachmen], or perhaps it was the Aldmeri Dominion?). Regardless, the Jarl’s death is the probable instigator for the deaths of many of the Reachman remaining in Markarth. 
The Imperial Legion shows up not long after the city is retaken. They are seemingly thankful that Ulfric’s militia took back the Reach. When Ulfric lets them into the city, he asks that they recognize the free worship of Talos that Jarl Hrolfdir had legalized in the Reach; otherwise, the Legion would be fought off. The Imperial Legate (or general?) present at the time okays Ulfric’s request, effectively breaking the White-Gold Concordat. Again. Not long after, the Thalmor discovered this and took issue with this breach of treaty. They give the Empire an ultimatum: disband Talos worship in the Reach or prepare for the Great War to be renewed. 
Ulfric and his followers are arrested and imprisoned by the Empire as Talos worship is again banned. The Empire must crack down on cases of Talos worship across the province. In consequence of the incident, the Thalmor gain access to Skyrim for their Justiciars through an Embassy. This is allegedly to enforce the terms of the White-Gold Concordat after it had been broken by the Nords in Fourth Era 176/7, but on an underground level, this allows the Thalmor to hunt, capture, and torture suspected Talos worshippers. The coming of the Thalmor Justiciars to Skyrim is technically a domino effect caused by Ulfric’s demand for free and open Talos worship.
Jarl Hrolfdir’s assassination happens during Ulfric and his supporters imprisonment. It may be possible that it was Ulfric OR one of his men who performed the Black Sacrament (though how could they do this while in an Imperial prison? Ulfric had to smuggle out his eulogy for his father’s funeral – what is the Imperial prison smuggling system like? Could any of them have had access to a dead body? Smuggled in or that of a fellow prisoner?). Whoever performed the Black Sacrament on Jarl Hrolfdir is the root cause for the retribution killings of the Reachmen. (Perhaps it was Thonar Silver-Blood?)
Ulfric is an uncooperative asset to the Thalmor, not because he ever cooperated with them in the first place, but because he is the (unintended) reason they have such a strong foothold in Skyrim now. 
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starry-bi-sky · 7 days
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me: *making MCD lore -- specifically about the Old Gods of Ru'aun that were forgotten after the rise of Lady Irene -- for fun*
me: *trying to come up with Magick Users Lore*
me: *remembers that Zoey once introduced herself as a fairy before she became an elf*
me:,,,,,humans used to be fairies. Elves and Fairies lived amongst one another (along with the other mythicals) until something happened that resulted in a group of fairies losing their wings but not their magic.
me: these wingless fairies did eventually start losing their magic though, as generations went on and their numbers grew, their magic began to dwindle. they eventually lost their magic identifiers -- pointed ears, sharp teeth, etc -- until they became known as modern day humans.
me: the fairies that didn't lose their wings eventually went into permanent hiding due to being hunted down by humans and wingless fairies (later to be known as magick users).
me: they were being hunted because the wingless fairies/humans believed that they could regain their wings (or their magick) if they ripped the wings off the fairies/consumed them/stole their magick.
me: there are little to no written records of fairies, and the ones that do exist are held in the yggdrasil forest where humans cannot find them. nobody knows where the surviving fairies are because their locations weren't written down, and the elves that did know have long since passed and/or disappeared.
me: by the time MCD happens, fairies are considered a myth and humans/mortals have no idea that they are descended from them. also the reason meif'wa and other species can be magick users is because some of the wingless fairies evolved into different species.
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pynkhues · 2 days
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just came out if loustat ao3 tag... maaaaan it does look bleak for bottom lestat enjoyers. my feed is literally just "bottom louis bottom louis feminization mpreg abo bottom louis"... and so on ad nauseam
sophie you are my only hope :')
It's certainly a fandom with preferences, haha
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ineffable-gallimaufry · 4 months
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new les mis adaptation rankings (in order of when i watched/read them):
the musical: 8/10 they did the best with what they had and it is amazing at having banger songs. i do think that certain decisions aren't my favorite and they did cut out a lot but i can understand that. it got me into les mis so for that i gotta appreciate it. petit gervais should have been there
1978: .......... i still actually cannot quantify my opinions on this movie. it is a whole fucking experience. it's both bad and really good. perkinsvert is my heart and soul. i can't give it a number. maybe 1000000/10.
1998: 4/10 it's baddd okay. i think they had a good start and i did like jean valjean's relationship with fantine in this one. also i think that the part with the bishop was interesting because it showed that jean valjean's redemption didn't actually entirely come from that moment soooo. awesome. buttttt there's still the fact it gets worse and worse as the movie goes on. and the acab is just not there. ...
takahiro arai's manga: 10/10 i have not finished it but i am fucking obsessed. it's actually gorgeous. it's got some crazy ass symbolism that slaps hard. i need to buy it now.
shoujo cosette: 9/10 i think it was a VERY faithful adaptation of the book and i like that even though they do change a few things that make the story lighter they still have those things carry weight to them. like chou chou! you hear they have a dog and you're like "wow would the thénardiers even let her have a dog? unrealistic!" and the answer is no they would not considering they beat her over it . like yeah they changed things for keeping the mood up but it was really faithful for the most part and i liked it.
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blujayonthewing · 1 month
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SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it
#the first half of the session was a random-off-a-rolltable encounter that had nothing to do with anything and gave us literally nothing#and used up all our resources and took a REALLY long time because it was-- you guessed it! another deadly encounter for some reason!!#that's 100% of the encounters we've had so far!#and EXPLICITLY not related to what we were trying to investigate AND creatures that drop neither loot NOR BODIES#(two wil o the wisps and a water wierd)#we did a lot better in this encounter but it WAS deadly going off CR#and the point is now we've done just a short rest and THEN found the Plot Thing-- which our bard used up a bunch of resources to access#SO NOW IT'S LIKE. OKAY LOOK. I WANNA PLAY IN THIS SPACE BUT YOU KEEP TRYING TO KILL US WITH THINGS THAT AREN'T EVEN IMPORTANT#ARE YOU ABOUT TO WHOOPSIE-DOODLE US INTO A TPK ON ACCIDENT HERE???#like... it FEELS dangerous and A Bad Idea to engage with in a way that paradoxically SHOULD mean it's safer in a game like this#like-- okay if this was ACTUALLY as dangerous as it feels we wouldn't BE here on session six. does that make sense?#like when justin had us encounter a lich at level two in session three and I was immediately like OH okay he must have a plan here.#clearly some Scripted Plot is going to happen because there's no other reason he would put us up against a lich three sessions in. you know?#we started dying immediately and I was not afraid at all as a player because I trust justin wouldn't do that for no reason#or be so stupid to have that happen accidentally#THIS CAMPAIGN HOWEVER.... I DON'T TRUST LIKE THAT!!!#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU WASTED ALL OF OUR RESOURCES ON A RANDOM ENCOUNTER FIRST AND YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT#ARE WE GONNA FOR REAL PERMADIE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE WE COULD USE THE ITEM YOU GAVE US TO OPEN THIS DOOR WITH A 5TH LEVEL SPELL#I WANNA PLAY IN THE SPACE BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THERE'S ROOM FOR RISKTAKING WHERE THE BAD OUTCOMES WOULDN'T BE UNFUN CATASTROPHIC#AAAAUUUUGHHH#[shaking him violently] what do you mean that random encounter was a deadly encounter again what do you MEEEAAN#'oh huh this fight's taking longer than I thought' THEIR AC IS 19 AND THEY'RE RESISTANT TO NONMAGIC DAMAGE??#THE WATER WIERD KEEPS DISAPPEARING BACK INTO THE POND WHERE IT'S INVISIBLE??? MY BROTHER IN CHRIST HOW DID YOU EXPECT US TO DO IT FAST#hhhhhHHHH!!!!#I SHOULD BE THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL THE SECOND HALF OF THE SESSION GENUINELY WAS BUT I'M TOO STRESSED TO HAVE FUN#cannot stress enough that I'm in a million campaigns and I never have this problem with other DMs or with Highly Dangerous DnD Situations#melliwyk's party are in mortal peril constantly and it's... reaching a point where it's tiresome for how badly it's wearing on the PCs#but it rarely feels unfun stressful as a player playing a game#I never feel like the DM is about to accidentally end the whole campaign by bumblefucking us into a TPK at random#you know? it's different. this just feels unmanageable
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cilil · 3 months
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It's a beautiful day outside. I believe the sun is shining, I can see some tiny rays through the blinds that are still down because I don't really manage to get out of bed these days. For now, being sick and not sleeping well is a good enough excuse.
But it's at this point that I must wonder if, after months of bullshit happening, after now several weeks of avoiding and not getting anything done, after somehow getting sick from stress anyway, depression moved back in. I think she still has a spare key.
It's nice not to be alone, I guess, but I don't really want her here. I remember well how awful she made me feel in the past. Leave me alone, I have work to do. Leave me alone, you'll make me sick. Leave me alone, I said I no longer want to live with anyone else.
She's made herself comfortable. Fine, be like that. I finish typing and take my books, a pen, some post-its, my notes app for writing. Between letters and pages, she can't touch me and I don't hear her voice.
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