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bloededhoine · 4 years ago

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world building cause twn doesn't part 12: the hen ichaer

i realize i've been mentioning the hen ichaer without really explaining it, and for that i apologize. but without further ado, let's go

colour code cause i fucking love colour codes - already happened/introduced, probably s2, important background info, stuff that might be in the prequel, extras

series masterpost

general

the hen ichaer is basically a magical gene that originated with the elven sorceress, scholar, and princess, lara dorren aep shiadhal

it can lie dormant or inactive for generations, but when someone is an activated carrier of the gene, they are called a source

sources have an insane capability for magic, it's so intense that without instruction they are a huge danger to themselves and/or others. remember pavetta's betrothal feast? hurricanes should not happen indoors

same thing with ciri's sonic scream.

obviously, the hen ichaer is highly weaponize-able, but it's difficult to put this into theory since the magic is so strong that it can easily kill the person who carries it

most important is that the hen ichaer can open ard gaeth, the gates between worlds. you may remember that the witcher is a multiverse, and the continent is just one of countless worlds

aen elle

the aen elle, elves who live in another world called tir ná lia, controlled at least one gate that they used to get slaves from other worlds

however, this was before the hen ichaer was seriously studied. unicorns are also capable of opening ard gaeth, and were present in tir ná lia, so the aen elle would kidnap them to be used as their world-hopping-genocide key. yeah, the aen elle are seriously fucked

the king of the aen elle was named auberon muircetach, and he was very well known for his wars with the unicorns, who weren't too keen on being enslaved for the purpose of conquering other worlds

the hen ichaer came into play when auberon noticed that his daughter, lara dorren, had pretty intense magical abilities. like, ard gaeth opening abilities.

auberon, lara, and a few other elves began studying the gene and trying to figure out how it works and how to use it.

through this study is how we got the title aen saevherne, which is used to distinguish an elven mage with extensive knowledge of history, science, magic, and, most importantly, the elder blood.

both lara and auberon were aen saevherne, as was lara's husband-to-be, avallac'h, and avallac'h's foster son, caranthir ar-feiniel

ithlinne's prophecy

ithlinne aegli aep aevenien was an elven prophet known for her incredibly dark prophecies that she delivered at totally random times. how dark were they? ithlinne's prophecies were almost exclusively about the death of all humanity and/or the end of the world. she was fun at parties.

anyway, when we talk about ithlinne we really only mean one specific prophecy, aen ithlinnespeath. to be confusing it's usually referred to as ithlinne's prophecy

here's the prophecy itself:

Verily I say unto you, the era of the sword and axe is nigh, the era of the wolf's blizzard. The Time of the White Chill and the White Light is nigh, the Time of Madness and the Time of Contempt: Tedd Deireádh, the Time of End. The world will die amidst frost and be reborn with the new sun. It will be reborn of Elder Blood, of Hen Ichaer, of the seed that has been sown. A seed which will not sprout but burst into flame. Ess'tuath esse! Thus it shall be! Watch for the signs! What signs these shall be, I say unto you: first the earth will flow with the blood of Aen Seidhe, the Blood of Elves...

what does that mean? well, the white chill (aka the white frost) is a massive ice age that has been approaching the continent for years. don't believe me? the white frost has destroyed countless worlds in the past, and it literally cannot be stopped. the only way to save the world is by the power of the hen ichaer.

here's a perfectly frightening visual of the white frost

ithlinne didn't elaborate on the how, but we now know that the only to survive the white frost is by finding a new world and massively evacuating the continent through ard gaeth, which can only be opened by the power of the hen ichaer.

genetics

clearly, the hen ichaer is important enough to literally save, or end, the world, but the aen elle did a famously terrible job of studying it. like, you'd think they'd be good at that, but no. to their credit, it is a bit complicated

first, there are multiple types of elder blood genes, the main gene, the latent gene, and the activator gene. to actually show the powers of the hen ichaer, someone would need to either have one latent and one activator, or the main gene.

let's go back to secondary school biology for a second, remember punnet squares? these fuckers

the letters in a punnet square represent a genotype, or the two alleles that are inherited from the parents. phenotypes, on the other hand, are what you see on the outside. for example, a genotype would be Aa but a phenotype would be brown eyes.

while the main gene is a simple dominant allele (shown by a capital letter on a punnet square), both the latent and activator genes are semi-dominant, meaning that when they meet they create a new phenotype: the innate magical ability that makes you a source.

it gets a little less scientific here so bear with me; this new phenotype is so powerful that it sometimes creates a whole new genotype. so instead of having one activator gene and one latent gene, the two would merge and you'd be left with only one (very powerful) main gene. this is the only single gene that actually has magic and it's a dominant gene, so you only need to have one to have the power.

but, the latent and activator genes don't always combine. you still have the full powers when they stay separate, but it is then less likely to pass the hen ichaer your children.

complicated? very much so. but in practice it's a lot easier.

for simplicity's sake i'll call the activator gene g/a, latent gene g/L, main gene g/m and a regular nonmutated gene g/r. to be a source, the genes you inherit would be g/a g/L, but they may combine to be just g/m. your average person would be g/r g/r and a carrier would be either g/a g/r or g/L g/r.

clearly, this makes tracking it pretty messy, since generations of people can be carriers without having a single source

tracking the hen ichaer

for now, let's do what those elven sages couldn't and track then hen ichaer, starting with lara dorren

eventually, lara met an exceptionally talented human mage, cregennan of lod, and they were lab partners (oh my god they were lab partners) in the study of the hen ichaer.

for all the studying, lara and cregennan's own genes have always been something of a mystery. elven mages don't tend to have any issues with using themselves as lab rats, so it's entirely possible that lara and cregennan, knowingly or not, mutated their own genes in their research.

ultimately, it doesn't matter what lara and cregennan's genes originally were. by some happy little accident, the two eventually ended up with at least one activator gene and at least one latent gene between them.

later, when lara and cregennan made their own happy little accident, riannon, she inherited one of each gene (g/a g/L), making her a source. however, riannon's genes did not combine as the elves expected, which made her a little harder to study.

riannon eventually met king goidemar of temeria (g/r g/r), and they had two children named fiona and amavet. i'll start with fiona, who the aen elle managed to figure out had the latent gene, making her g/L r

fiona ended up having a baby with king coram II of cintra (g/r g/r), they named him corbett, and he inherited fiona's g/L and one of coram's g/r.

the aen elle lost track of the hen ichaer when they studied riannon's other kid amavet. see, amavet was kind of a whore. he had twins, muriel and crispin, with the married countess anna kameny. obviously, these children weren't legitimate, and when the angry count kameny murdered amavet a few months later, he was officially childless

the elves did, however, manage to figure out that amavet had riannon's g/a gene and goidemar's g/r gene. anna kameny was just g/r g/r, and crispin ended up being g/r g/r as well. destiny does favour the hen ichaer, but sometimes it's just not meant to be. muriel, on the other hand, did inherit her father's activator gene and was g/a g/r.

let's hop back to corbett, fiona and coram's g/L g/r son. he and princess elen of kaedwen (g/r g/r) had a son, dagorad, who got corbett's latent gene and one of elen's regular ones, meaning he was g/L g/r

muriel married robert of garramore (g/r g/r), and their daughter adalia, the dramatically posed lady right there, had the same genetic combination as her mother, g/a g/r

this is where it gets even weirder

the lovely adalia married dagorad. her second cousin. they shared riannon as their great grandmother. feel better in the fact that it was not intentional, adalia's mother, muriel, was not officially riannon's granddaughter. no one would have even known, but adalia's g/a met up with dagorad's g/L in their daughter, calanthe

for the first time since riannon, the hen ichaer was back, and calanthe's parents genes combined to give her g/m g/r

while it took generations of destiny and accidental incest to make the hen ichaer happen again, now that calanthe had the main gene there was a 50% chance she would pass it to her child, which, of course, she did

calanthe and her husband roegner (g/r g/r) had pavetta, who inherited the g/m from her mother. no one knew about this until pavetta literally created a source hurricane, and was already pregnant

pavetta and duny's (g/r g/r) daughter, ciri, inherited the main gene from her mother and was a source.

sources

it's important to note that a source is not necessarily an incredibly powerful sorcerer, merely a person who has the genetic predisposition required to channel very intense magic

sources, like anyone else, can be bad students, allergic to potions, or just generally averse to magic on all levels except heredity. there is also no way to guarantee that even the most willing source will be good at using magic, in fact it's far more common that they will be really really bad at it. sources are extra susceptible to the chaotic state of magic in the world, and many end up pretty seriously harmed by it.

magical talent tends to make itself known in very emotional situations, like the death of a parent or a war. the same applies for sources, but they have an extra rule: their full powers are off limits until they lose their virginities

now, netflix has not mentioned that rule to be true or false, but i'm going to think of it as strictly book/game/etc canon, because ciri is 10 years old when netflix shows her using her source powers for the first time

the virginity rule makes things even more complicated, as customs about premarital sex are pretty strict in the witcher world (well, among nobility), and the dudes didn't seem to have fast reflexes. what i'm saying is that getting pregnant the first time you had sex was not uncommon. sources couldn't even use, and likely weren't aware of, their powers until they were already passing them on to another generation.

and even still, there is no guarantee that someone who is a source will ever actually show their powers. calanthe had the genetics, but she wasn't a mage. what happened? we don't really know. after calanthe married, cintra was pretty peaceful; there were no invasions or massive upheavals that could put enough stress on her to show her powers. plus, her parents didn't know she had any magical powers, so they didn't give her the training that would develop them, and she was a very level headed person who would likely be unaffected by many of the things that would make another source lose their shit.

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smokeonshadows · 3 years ago

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We need to talk about the Bobbseys

Strap in, kids. This is going to be...a lot.

To put it bluntly, the way the Bobbseys were handled was messy, unnecessary, and probably the worst thing about an otherwise great season.

It's really disappointing because the Nancy Drew writers have already proven themselves to be not only good writers, but also socially conscious writers. They actively and publicly aim to be inclusive in their storytelling, so I think it's fair to hold them to that standard.

There was a lot of potential in the Bobbseys–they're a morally ambiguous brother-sister team of codependent twins from a rough/tragic past who sometimes lie, cheat, and steal in order to make ends meet. This is interesting, this is full of possibilities as to how they could fit in with the Drew Crew, and, most of all, this was a great opportunity to have complex representation of the south asian community that subverts popular stereotypes (model minority, traditional upbringing, perpetual foreigner, etc.). Amanda and Gil would've been great characters in their own rights...but instead they were used as nothing more than cannon fodder for an unnecessary, half-baked love square with low key racist undertones.

Problematic elements

I've already talked about the racist undertones in previous posts, but in a nutshell, Gil is portrayed as being controlling/aggressive/domineering (particularly towards Nancy and Amanda) and it's a stereotype that south asian men (and I'd say black and brown men in general) are misogynistic, aggressive, and otherwise abusive towards women. This portrayal is made even worse because he's meant to be a foil for Ace, a soft/gentle/sensitive/emotionally stable white guy who Nancy is obviously meant to be with. And for Amanda, she's also portrayed in line with the stereotype of asian women being very submissive (particularly to their male counterparts). I don't think any of this was intentional, but it's just not a good look.

This problem could've at least been somewhat alleviated if Gil and Amanda had been written as fully fleshed out characters who were going on their own journeys and were consequential to the story, but that didn't happen.

Stereotypes aside, another problematic aspect of the Bobbseys is that they both fall into the unfortunately common trope of being the character of color that the white character has a superficial relationship with and leads white character to realizing that they should actually be with this other white character who's been there all along.

Even when they have roles in the episode apart from being superficial love interests, oftentimes they don't do much aside from being useful for getting the Crew from point A to point B of a mystery.

Underdeveloped relationships

Was I the only one who found the resolution of the Nancy x Gil relationship in the season finale to be a bit abrupt?

While I appreciate that they showed how seemingly small transgressions within relationships can actually be red flags and that a situation doesn't need to escalate to full-on physical abuse in order to count as domestic violence, I found that the moment when Nancy has this realization and then breaks up with Gil lacked the emotional weight befitting that situation. I think this was the case because Nancy and Gil barely had a relationship. There was attraction and sexual tension, they hooked up a few times, but it was never shown to be a real relationship. It's not just that we didn't often see them together, but with or without him, Nancy didn't think much about Gil or what he thought of her and, more importantly wrt the breakup, we aren't shown all the ways that his treatment of her affected her sense of self or the way she operated. Nancy's relationship with Gil was inconsequential, so the stakes were low.

And yes, casual hookup situations can also turn abusive, but from a narrative standpoint, the way this particular situation was portrayed, it was given both more and less weight than it should've been given. It felt like the writers wanted the breakup to be big and impactful but they not only didn't work for that payoff, they also wanted to resolve it quickly so they could move onto more important plot points (the breakup was at the beginning episode and Nancy never mentions it or even hints at any emotional fallout from it ever again).

(Amanda was done dirty)

Actually, if anything, the big dramatic breakup should've been between Amanda and Gil. Even with her severely limited screentime, almost every time we do see Amanda, we are reminded of how close she is with Gil, how badly he treats her, how much she values his opinion, and how smothered she feels by him. And it sucks that we never actually get to see Amanda make the realization, stand up for herself, and confront Gil. All we see is Ace encouraging her to break away and then cut to her living her best life post-sibling breakup.

In the end, it's as if Amanda's pain and suffering was made to be less about her and more about Nancy/being evidence that Gil is not good for Nancy. Again, not a good look.

And Amanda and Ace's relationship is also underdeveloped compared to the impact that the writers seem to want it to have. Like, I don't understand why Ace would give her a pseudo-ultimatum ("I'll prioritize you if you prioritize me") at this stage of their relationship. Yes, they do seem to be more of a relationship than Nancy x Gil, but it always felt like they were very much in the budding romance stage. While he does talk about her when they're apart, we still rarely saw them interact with each other outside of the context of Ace needing to use Amanda's connection at the hotel or to her father or brother in order to help solve the mystery. And we don't learn more about or see a different side either character through their relationship with each other.

Poorly executed, unnecessary love triangles

The whole point of having a love triangle is to raise the emotional stakes.

It's always been my belief that if you're going to have a love triangle, you need to commit to it. That means making both legs of the triangle equally viable, developing both romantic options and both relationships equally.

As noted in the sections above, this was not the case with either love triangle, which makes the whole thing feel cheap and unsatisfying. Like I said in a previous post, I think it would've been more powerful if Nancy had two really great options, but in the end chose Ace because that’s what her heart really wants no matter how great the other guy is.

Anyone with a healthy understanding of love and relationships would choose Ace over Gil. It's no contest, no real choice, so it adds nothing to the conversation, it says nothing about Nancy or her feelings for Ace. It's inconsequential, the emotional stakes are practically nonexistent.

Literally, I feel like if you took the Bobbsey love triangles out of this season, Ace and Nancy would still end up in pretty much the same place wrt their feelings for each other. I mean, yes, the whole jealousy/green eyed epiphany thing did play a role, but the relationships with the Bobbseys featured so little and were so underdeveloped that it would be more or less the same as one of them flirting with a background character every once in a while.

And Nace still didn't end up together after all that! It's hinted that for some reason, Ace will be stringing Amanda along next season while he pines for Nancy. Which is exhausting.

This is really what we sacrificed two perfectly interesting characters of color for. I'm upset.

#nancy drew cw #gil bobbsey #amanda bobbsey

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simpingforsoftboys · 4 years ago

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Love Me, Love Me Not

ft. Kuroken

G/N Reader

TW: Insecurities... I think that’s it?

Read This First

Mini Series Here

Okay part 2/4 for the continuation of “Toxic Things They Do” request. This is probably the hardest one for me because I’m better at writing Kuroken x reader on a platonic level aha. Not proofread because your girl is a slacker-

You’re sitting on the floor of your living room, staring at the tv while Kenma plays on the new PS5 he bought. He’s seated in Tetsuro’s lap, the dark haired male is busy yapping his ear off- to which Kenma lets out small hums of acknowledgement every once in a while to show he’s listening. You want to join them up there, somehow the couch seems so far away from you. Like a pillar high in the sky- only serving to show off what you can’t ever really have. It seems a little dramatic to be thinking that way, sure, but you have a valid reason to put it in such a manner. You know, since you’re allergic to leather and all.

Tetsuro was always so caring, constantly doting on the ones he loves. With his trashy puns, troublesome smirk, and sparkling eyes that promised a good time, he was perhaps the ideal man. He gave his all for those he cared for, seemingly nothing about him was selfish... and yet the leather couch had been Tetsuro’s idea- he had always been fond of the material after all. Even when you brought up the whole issue of you being allergic to it- he still insisted that they purchase a leather sofa.

“We’ll just buy you a separate arm chair or something.” Kenma had said after listening to the both of you argue back and forth. “It’s not like we don’t have the money.” It hurt more looking back on it now than it did at the time. It was an unreasonable solution, but it wasn’t like Kenma was going to disagree with Kuroo. He never did. At least when it came to you that is.

You continue staring at them. There’s something about the way that Tetsuro gazes at Kenma that just screams love and contentment. He’s never looked at you that way- even back when you were in denial you knew that much. Kenma never had to do what you would need to in order to keep his attention on him. All Kenma needed to do was exist- unlike you- he never had to earn dear Kuroo’s love.

Tetsuro only doted on those he loved. He loved Kenma. And he only seemed to love you when Kenma wasn’t around.

“Y/n...” The messy haired male called, long arms winding around your torso. “Let’s go to the arcade! I made some reservations- we have the whole place to ourselves for a few hours.”

You remember being excited at the time- finally you would get to go on a date with Tetsuro. It had been so long since your last one.

“Really? That’s awesome! Let me just get dressed.” You slipped into a pair of jeans and a band t-shirt before hurrying to meet Kuroo at the door. “Tetsu I’m-”

“I can’t believe you got called in so last minute. It’s too late to cancel the reservations already kitten.” Kuroo whines into the phone, obviously talking to Kenma. “Yeah I’m just bringing Y/n, no point in wasting money... oh? Okay see you later. Love you kitten~”

Needless to say, your day seemed a lot less exciting after overhearing that conversation.

Kuroo gently nudged the smaller male aside, standing up to go use the restroom. The two of you made eye contact briefly, he winked playfully before continuing on his way to the bathroom. Your gaze fell upon Kenma- who was still rapidly pushing buttons and triggers on his controller.

Kenma had always been elusive. It was one of the things that drew you into him. He looked so uncaring about everything, at first you couldn’t even have imagined that he would be so attentive to every detail. Was it a trait he had gained from Tetsuro or vice versa? People do say lovers begin sharing habits over time. At first you could barely distinguish one of his expressions from another, but as you spent more time in his company you found much more than you could have hoped. You discovered that he was constantly changing, learning to be more expressive. Each time you thought you had him figured out- he had already developed beyond that.

The minuscule way his lips would upturn when he was amused soon changed into a hidden smile, chuckles threatening to escape his throat. Then that changed to a slightly wider one, showing the smallest amount of his teeth. Eventually he learned to forgo his embarrassment entirely- and he would laugh freely, all teeth, heart, and soul, in it. Yes, Kenma was a constantly evolving individual- like the ever changing maze in the maze runner. There was seemingly no escape to him- just twists and turns and dead ends. He was impossibly deep- a promise of a myriad of mysteries within his eyes.

But you were just another runner- doomed to be lost in the maze- but never to escape it. Kuroo on the other hand was something else. He was on a completely different level- skilled in his knowledge of Kenma- able to come and go as he pleased. You doubted he’d ever wanted to escape. Neither did you- at first.

Out of the two of them, Kenma had always been more receptive of you. It had surprised even Kuroo himself actually. You didn’t doubt Kenma’s love for you- not like you doubted Tetsuro’s- but you also knew that he’d never care for you as much as he did Kuroo. It showed in the little things.

“Y/n did you want to play with me?” Kenma’s soft voice carried over where you were- snuggled up in blankets, playing Animal Crossing while sitting in your arm chair. He had his own red and blue Switch in his hands. Kuroo had been home at the time, you recall hearing him snoring away in your bedroom. “It’s been awhile since it was just us.”

You smiled at his words and agreed. The two of you visiting each others islands and irritating your beloved villagers. It was fun, spending time with Kenma, and you could tell that he was enjoying himself- and not just because of the game. He would shoot you shy, soft smiles when he thought you weren’t looking. It was those smiles that really kept you clinging onto the sinking ship that was your relationship.

Kenma loved you.

The smiles directed towards Kuroo were different. They weren’t shy- instead they were familiar and open. Kenma had known Kuroo far longer than he had you. The comfort he took in him was of an entirely separate magnitude. Naturally, this was the same with the amount of love he held for him too.

He looked happier with Kuroo than he did with you.

Maybe it’s because of that fact that you decided to break the news to Kenma first. Making sure that your skin was covered with you long sleeves, pants, and socks, you made your way over to where Kenma was seated. His eyes tore away from the screen to stare at you worriedly.

“Y/n your allergies-” He began.

“It’s fine, as long as my bare skin doesn’t touch the leather.” You reply, sitting beside him. You know you shouldn’t- not when you’re about to say this- but you yank him into a hug anyways. You hug Kenma tight and hard, because he’s the only one in this relationship that might even love you a sliver as much as you love him. He tries to turn, so that he can embrace you too- but you won’t let him, opting to pin his arms down with your own. It’ll hurt too much to do this if you let him hold you.

“Y/n what’s wrong?” He asks and he looks at you like you’re the only one in the world for that moment. Bitterly, you wonder if this is what it feels like to be in Kuroo’s shoes. Yet again, you are reminded that while this is a rare sensation for you- it’s a daily occurrence between the two of them- looking at each other like they hung the stars up in the sky- that is.

“I have to tell you something Kenma.” You murmur, licking your lips. “But first I’m going to let you go, right after I try to memorize what you feel like against me. And you have to promise not to try to hug me after that okay?”

“W-why? What’s wrong Y/n?” He struggles again, fear overtaking his heart at your words. “What is it?”

“J-just promise me. You can be mad, you can cry, hell you can even laugh afterwards. But don’t try to reach out and hug me okay?” He’s never seen you so serious, so he nods his head.

“I promise.” He agrees and stops fighting against you. You do your best to memorize this- the feeling of him in your arms. He’s warm and despite his lithe figure he’s firm against you. His hair is smooth and soft- since you had managed to drill into him how important hair maintenance was- it smells like his pricey conditioner. You rest your cheek against his for a long moment, before forcing yourself to pull away from him entirely. The half blonde abides by his promise, but it’s clear that he wants to reach out to you.

“This is going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you.”

“What are you saying?” Kenma’s anxious now, eyes searching for answers in your own pools of e/c.

“But you have Tetsuro... I don’t know how he’ll feel about this- but he’ll probably be furious with me.” You continue, heavy tears slipping from your tear ducts. “I don’t think this is working out Kenma-”

“What did I do?” He asks, wide eyed and desperate- you can hear the pain in his tone. “Did you fall out of love with me- with us?” The angel and devil perched on your shoulders agree that you should lie to him- tell him ‘yes, I did fall out of love with you.’ The angel says it’s better to do it this way, to spare him the pain of knowing what you went through. While the devil thinks you should say it in the most vicious way possible- to give back all the pain, the unworthiness they made you experience. But you refuse to listen, no one deserves to suffer through your insecurities.

“I’m still in love with you two.”

There’s tears spilling from both of your eyes now.

“Then why-”

“It’s because I’m not content anymore.” It’s not the full truth but it’s better than a lie right? You forgot that a half truth is a whole lie.

“I think we deserve the truth.” Kuroo says from the entrance of the living room, he’s leaning against the doorway, arms crossed. “Not some half assed explanations.”

“Right...” You agree, blinking back your tears. “I’m so grateful for you two. Tetsuro you’re so caring and selfless, you give your heart in everything you do- I’d be lying to say that I’m over you. Kenma you’ve always been so attentive and I won’t lie- something about you just makes me want to appreciate you endlessly. But babes, you’ve been in love for so long- I can’t possibly catch up.”

Kuroo’s expression is shocked, not expecting this. “Y/n-”

“No, please listen.” You ask of him- just this once- to listen to you. Luckily for you he does. Kenma looks like he wants to speak up too, but swallows his words. It’s the first time they’ve let you get a word in without getting defensive. Kinda poetic if you think about it. Your last 'argument’ as a throuple and the first time they’ve been able to let you say your piece.

“Tetsu, it’s clear Kenma’s your first and foremost priority. I don’t even know if what we have is love or admiration- but it’s not what I’m looking for.” You give him a sad smile and he discovers that it’s the most genuine one he’s seen from you.

“Y/n I-” He tries, only to get an impatient look from both you and Kenma. “Sorry, continue.”

“I’m a hypocrite to say this- but Kenma... this is harder to say because I’ve grown more attached to you overtime.” You hate yourself for what you’re about to say next- the hypocrisy you’re about to spew is enough to render your feelings null and void... or so you believe. “I never doubted with you- what we had... have... it’s definitely love.”

Kenma looks ugly, his face is all scrunched up and theres snot and tears dripping down onto his lap. “It always was- still is Y/n.”

“I know baby.” You whisper back, it pains you to see him like this. “But you’re still more in love with Tetsu.” He can’t deny it either, that’s what pains him the most. “I love the both of you though. So I really do wish you the best. It’s the only thing I can do- because I can’t stay here and hold you back.”

Something inside of Kuroo’s heart cracks and he finds himself tearing up at your words. It hurts because you’re right. He doesn’t love you like that- or at least he doesn’t think so. But if that’s the case then it doesn’t make sense as to why he’s hurting.

“I’m sorry that I had to be the one to call it quits- because I never, ever, wanted to be the one to do that. But guys-” Your voice cracks, it embodies all the heart ache you’re feeling- been feeling for so long. “When it’s just you two, at the altar, finally becoming one... I’ll be able to say with good faith that I made the right decision. So don’t fight me, don’t even say anything- this is what I want. This isn’t for just you- it’s for me too.”

They nod, facing the consequences of your choice- maybe it goes further than that. Maybe all this time the three of you were doomed to fail. If that’s the case then it’s a blessing that you’re not going down in flames. Instead this chapter is ending with a flood of tears and the promise of ruin. But there’s also the underlying hope that one day the flood will dry up and they’ll finally be able to look at the ruins without feeling regret. It’s that hope that all three of you cling too. That hope that one day you’ll be able to rebuild upon the ruins- a new temple, new kingdom. A new place for a rebuilt- or maybe even entirely new- love.

A/N: I did Kuroo so dirty but I’m not sorry about that. In all honesty this is how I feel it’d go in a situation like this. Kuroo’s priority is always going to be Kenma. He’s a chemistry nerd- and their shared chemistry is so deep, it’s engrained onto the face of their soul. I think Kenma does really love Y/n but he’ll always love Kuroo just a little more. But sometimes a little is all the difference and is the game changer in the end. I do think, that if Kenma had loved the two of them equally- then maybe they could have been fine with a polygamous dynamic- but sadly that’s not the case.

This is also the harsh reality to a lot of poly relationships- some people enter them but aren’t prepared to love equally. So there’s an imbalance there that really shouldn’t be there. A lot of authors who write for polyships don’t touch on this but I want to be here to write about the good and the bad.

Seeing the reader after the breakup

#kuroken x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo x reader x kenma #kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #answered.requests #learning to let go

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starryeyes-darkestnights · 4 years ago

Text

Shut Up and Drive

Part 3 of We Dance Together Now

An O’Knutzy au where Leo and Logan are still playing for the Lions, but Finn is a musician they met by chance on a roadie to Montreal.

Here are the first few parts!

Part 1 - Jingle Bell Rock

Part 2 - This City

I hope you like it!!! :):)

Also, this is getting kind of crazy long, so I’m going to stick it up on AO3 too :)

These beautiful characters and their world belong to the incredible @lumosinlove

---------------------------------------------------------------

Finn was standing at his bathroom sink, brushing his teeth, when he heard his phone buzz in the other room. He wandered out to look for it, toothbrush hanging from his mouth. When it wasn’t immediately visible, he just shrugged and headed back to the bathroom. It was probably just his mom. She texted to say goodnight sometimes, which was adorable but didn’t require an urgent response.

But then the phone went off a second time while he was rinsing his mouth, and a third while he was pulling on his sleep pants. Definitely not his mom. Curious now, he grabbed his book off the nightstand and headed off in search of the mysterious messages. He padded out to the living room, spotting the phone on the couch and flopping down next to it just as a fourth notification went off. He scooped it up and swiped open his messages. He was surprised to see Logan’s contact come up. He figured they would be busy tonight after their game.

Logan: Finn!

Logan: FINN!

Logan: FINN ANSWER YOUR PHONE

Logan: We won!

Finn smiled at Logan’s excitement. He had actually seen the alert for the team’s win flash across his phone a few hours earlier. He’d set up notifications for Lions game results a few weeks ago, after an embarrassing evening of asking them how the game went, not knowing they had lost. He would only make that mistake once.

Finn: I saw. Congrats! 😊

Logan’s response was immediate.

Logan: You’re alive! Come celebrate with us.

Finn’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. That was unexpected. He knew that after winning games they usually went out with the guys from their team. That’s why he had gotten ready for an early night.

Finn: Aren’t you out with the team?

Logan: Yes! Leo says to tell you they’re cool if you join us. They want to see you again. They remember you from Montreal.

Finn chewed his lip, looking longingly between his book and the phone in his hand. Usually he would love to see them - the trio had become nearly inseparable over the past month - but he had been looking forward to reading tonight. He hadn’t had much opportunity since school had started back up. Plus, he had to be up early tomorrow.

Finn: Ordinarily I would be all over that. But I’m almost in bed

Logan: Your bed will still be there in a few hours!

Finn: But it looks so comfy right now.

Logan: Pleeeeaaase? Dancing isn’t fun without you any more

Finn melted a little at that one, his conviction starting to waver even as he texted back.

Finn: I don’t give in to peer pressure!

He watched the screen, waiting for an answer, when a message from Leo popped up at the top. A picture. He swiped it open, curious, and his jaw dropped.

It was a picture of Logan, taken from close up. His head was tilted, his messy curls falling over one eye, and he was pouting, his lower lip jutting out just slightly. He was looking directly into the camera, and his eyes… Finn took one look at the wide, green, puppy dog gaze, and knew he had just been made a liar. There was absolutely no way he was not going to do whatever Logan asked if this was how he asked it. He stood up and sent one final text.

Finn: Where are you?

---

Two hours later Finn was in the middle of a dance floor, sweat dripping in his eyes as he leaned over to put his hands on his knees, trying to stop laughing long enough to catch his breath.

His efforts were futile, as Logan chose that moment to expand on his interpretation of the Toosie Slide dance, one that had been getting more and more extravagant every time they heard the song at a club. As he slid dramatically across the floor, he almost knocked over a poor, unsuspecting woman. He hadn’t actually crashed into her, but it was close enough to scare her into turning toward him with a very angry look and Finn cackled as he watched Logan’s face turn from mischief to horror, nearly knocking her over a second time as he rushed to apologize. His amusement was short-lived, however, as the woman gave Logan a once-over and did a complete 180, from angry to impossibly seductive, in less than the time it took her to introduce herself. Finn looked to Leo, hoping for a distraction, only to find him in a similar position with the first woman’s friend.

Finn stood up, laughter draining quickly from his system as his smile turned wry. This was a familiar scene. Girls were not shy with Leo and Logan. And it’s not like he could blame them- he was painfully aware of how beautiful they both were. He just didn’t usually let himself get caught having to watch it. He had quickly learned to spot the girls coming before they did, to extract himself from the situation before he had to watch it unfold. This was the first time since that first night at the Burrow that he’d been caught off guard. And it was… painful. So much for keeping your feelings in check, I guess, he thought drily.

He waited for a moment, until Leo and Logan were both fully distracted, and took the opportunity to sneak away quietly, back to the table where he had been introduced to the team earlier. He slid into the seat he had previously abandoned, next to Kasey Winter, and shot him a quick smile when he welcomed him back. He pretended to be interested in the conversation he was having with Sirius Black, across from him, but his mind was elsewhere, and he jumped when a voice sounded in his ear.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He recognized Leo’s teasing voice and a small smile crept onto his face. “We lost you out there. Logan thought you might be getting a drink.”

Finn turned to look at him, taking in his dance-flushed cheeks and bright, dimpled smile. One thing he had learned after spending enough time with him, was that a genuine Leo Knut smile could light up a room. Usually that smile caused a warm glow in Finn’s chest, but right now all he could picture was the woman from the dance floor being on the receiving end of it.

Finn shook his head. “Nope, just needed a quick break.”

Leo’s brow furrowed at that, and his head tilted as he looked at Finn, assessing. His eyes flickered between Finn’s, and across his face, radiating kindness. His expression softened and he reached up to place a gentle hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Hey, are you ok?”

“Ya, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Finn tried to paste on his biggest smile, but he could tell Leo wasn’t fully convinced.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me, right? I –“

Whatever Leo was going to say was cut off by Logan returning to the table, loudly. Finn took a second to thank whatever divine intervention had prevented him from having to come up with an excuse for his moping, before turning his attention to what appeared to be a very passionate argument between Logan and Thomas Walker.

“I’m just saying Talkie, that can’t possibly be true.”

“Logan. Explain to me why it cannot be true.”

“No! You explain to me why it can be true!”

Finn caught on to what Logan was doing. He had seen him try it before, on Leo, and on himself a few times as well. But it had never worked.

“It was on the Discovery Channel Tremz! Why would they lie?”

“I’m not saying they’re lying, I’m just saying you haven’t convinced me that they’re telling the truth.”

Thomas’ jaw dropped at that one, disbelief on his face. “Logan, I-, what?? That’s- this is ridiculous! Aardvarks exist! Fucking Google them!”

Logan just shook his head cheerfully, popping a cheese fry into his mouth. “Nah.”

“Aargh!”

Finn couldn’t help but laugh at Thomas’ exasperated face as he stood from the table. “I’m going to the washroom. I can’t handle you right now.” He gave Logan a playful shove in the back of the head as he walked behind him.

Logan just laughed into his drink, looking smug.

“So,” Finn picked up his own drink, “is antagonizing your friends on purpose a personal hobby?”

“No.” “Yes.”

Logan and Leo spoke over one another.

Finn looked between them, amused, as Logan pretended to be offended.

Leo just looked at Logan, eyebrows raised and a corner of his mouth pulled up affectionately. “Getting people worked up is Logan’s favourite game, but he’ll pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kasey, overhearing, leaned back over to Finn. “We’ve all just learned to ignore it. Talkie’s the only one he can still get to.”

Finn chuckled at that. “You know aggravating people on purpose isn’t very nice, right?” He cocked his head at Logan.

Logan just smiled innocently. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Leo gestured pointedly toward him. “See?”

Just then, there was a flurry of movement from the other end of the table as people started getting ready to go. As the three of them stood together to join them, Finn was reminded of something.

“Hey, before I forget, you guys have tomorrow off right?”

Leo nodded, shoving his arms through his jacket sleeves. “Ya, we do. What are we doing?”

Finn loved that it had become natural for them to just assume they would be doing something together on a day off. He started walking backward toward the door of the bar and grinned at the other two as they followed.

“We, my friends, are going on an adventure. Dress for being outside, and be ready at 9am sharp.”

---

At exactly 9 o’clock the next morning, Finn watched as Logan yanked open the door to his car and flopped into the front seat. His hair tousled, eyes bleary, he leaned back against the headrest with a groan. “Whyyy are we awake right now Finn?” His voice was still raspy from sleep. “Early bird gets the worm!” Finn chirped back at him with a smile. He gave a noncommittal grunt, but perked up as Finn passed him a coffee.

He took a sip, eyes closed. “Mmmmm. Ok you’re forgiven.”

“You’re welcome. Are you awake now? I need you to tell me how to get to Leo’s place.”

Finn had picked up the two of them from Logan’s place a few times over the past couple of weeks, swinging by on his way home from campus and driving them to his place to play video games or to Sid’s for dinner. He knew Leo didn’t live at Dumo’s too, but he had never actually picked him up from his own house.

“Why didn’t you pick him up first?” Grumbled Logan, his eyes still half closed as he tried to stifle a yawn.

“I picked you up first because I know where you live, and you know where Leo lives. It’s called logic. Now give me directions, Sir Yawns-a-Lot. We have places to be!”

“Mmm.” Logan grunted back in his still sleep-rasped voice. “I actually don’t remember where he’s staying right now, let me give him a call.”

Finn furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What? Where he’s staying right now? Does he not always stay in the same place?”

But Logan waved him off as Leo picked up the phone, and Finn was left to wonder impatiently for the short duration of the call.

“Ok, he’s downtown. At the Hogwarts Hotel, right across from the arena. It’s like 5 minutes from here. You know it?”

“Yeees…” Finn dragged the word out, still trying to piece this together. “… can I ask why he’s at a hotel?”

It was Logan’s turn to look confused. “He’s always at a hotel? He’s a rookie, that’s usually what happens.”

Finn was caught off guard. “Seriously? Like for the whole year? Did you do that too?”

“Ya, I guess for the whole year. And no, I didn’t do it. I got really lucky the year I came, Dumo had an open room. He invited me to billet and I’ve just never left. They’re like a second family to me now.” He paused, running his finger around the lid of his coffee cup.

“I feel really bad for Leo though. It was hard enough coming here when I had Dumo’s family to rely on, I don’t know how he’s doing it.” He shook his head, looking up at Finn. “He tries to pretend it doesn’t bother him, bouncing around between hotel rooms, but you can tell he’s homesick sometimes, you know? I try and drag him over here to crash on my floor when he looks really down, but it’s still just another strange place for the night.”

Finn nodded. He knew how hard it had been for him moving to Gryffindor- the loneliness he had felt, exhausted from working hard all day and dreading coming home to an empty apartment. He had spent many sleepless nights talking himself out of dropping out and moving back home to his parents, his brother. June. It was during that time he had written This City, the song he had played at the Burrow the first time Leo and Logan came to see him play.

He thought about how Leo had responded to his explanation that the song had been about moving to Gryffindor. It wasn’t a happy song. Finn didn’t like that Leo could relate to it.

He put the car in drive, mulling an idea around in his brain as he headed to Gryffindor Hotel.

---

Leo

Leo sat in the middle of the backseat of Finn’s car, watching the roads they passed and trying to discern where exactly they were headed. So far all he could tell was that whatever they were doing, they weren’t doing it in downtown Gryffindor. He didn’t like not knowing things, it made him feel on edge. He sighed, deciding to try one more time. “Finn. We’ve been driving for fifteen minutes. Are you going to tell us where we’re going yet?”

“Actually, yes!”

Well, that was pleasantly unexpected. Finn had been denying Logan an answer since before Leo had even gotten in the car.

“Just one second…”

Leo watched from the backseat as Finn checked his blind spot, merged off of the entrance ramp, and…

“Ta-da!”

Leo looked outside the window. They were on a freeway. Was Finn… excited about the freeway?

He shared a glance with Logan, who looked equally confused.

“Finn,” Logan started slowly, “what do you mean ‘ta-da’? Is this where we are going? The freeway? You said to bring clothes for outside. We can’t go outside when there are cars driving by at 80 miles per hour.”

Finn was unphased. “The freeway is our gateway to adventure, boys.” He explained cheerfully. “Everyone knows a road trip doesn’t begin until you get onto a highway.”

“We’re going on a road trip?” Leo’s interest was piqued. “A road trip to where?”

“I’m glad you asked!”

“We’ve asked ten times and you ignored us. NOW you’re glad?” asked Logan incredulously.

“Yes,” Finn explained patiently, “because I couldn’t tell you before. Not until the road trip started. Remember the rules of the list?”

“We decided that was bullshit!”

“You decided it was bullshit. I never agreed.”

Logan opened his mouth to retort, and Leo decided it was time to interject. “The road trip started now. Can you please tell us?”

He watched Finn’s smile through the rear-view mirror. Leo rarely had the opportunity to observe Finn like this, without him noticing, and he was trying not to make it obvious that he was taking advantage. But they were headed East, and the morning sun that came through the windshield was drawing out these tiny gold flecks in his wide brown eyes, and Leo couldn’t look away. He was just thinking that he wanted to see those flecks up close when Finn suddenly met his gaze in the mirror. He jerked his eyes away immediately, cursing himself as his heart skipped a beat. Then he realized that just made him look even more guilty, so he looked back up and raised his eyebrows at Finn, pretending that he had just been looking at him to hear his answer.

Finn held out for a dramatic pause before responding smugly. “I have found us the perfect adventure.”

Logan groaned, and Finn glanced over at him, sticking out his tongue. Leo noticed his cheeks had a flush that matched his own. He must have realized Leo was staring. Fuck.

The smug look fell away when he spoke again, and he sounded almost nervous. “So, there’s this town called Ilvermorny, over on the coast. I heard about it a while ago from a customer at the Burrow, apparently people love to go there because it’s super beautiful and you can walk around and explore the whole place in a day.”

Logan looked over at him, interested. “Sounds cool.”

Finn looked relieved for a second, and then an excited grin took back over. “I’m glad you think so. But that’s not the best part.” He wiggled his eyebrows excitedly. “I have received some excellent intel, that not only is this place all picturesque and shit, but, Leo…” he waited for Leo to meet his eyes in the mirror again. “They also have THE best authentic Cajun food this side of Louisiana.”

Leo felt his jaw drop, and he couldn’t stop the huge smile that he felt stretching across his face. He’s been so homesick for the food his mom made for him back in New Orleans. He leaned forward between the front seats. “Are you serious? Finn. Are you for real?”

Finn just laughed, eyes on the road.

“Logan!” Leo turned to Logan, who had one corner of his mouth quirked up into an amused smile as he watched Leo’s excited reaction. “If this is real- and I swear to god Finn this better be real or I might actually cry- I can finally introduce you to food from home.”

He flopped back into his seat, his mouth already watering at the thought of real, authentic Cajun food. “Not having a kitchen has been absolutely killing me in Gryffindor. I miss the food from home so much.”

Logan turned back to look at him, surprised. “Really? You’ve never mentioned that you like to cook.”

Leo groaned, his eyes closing. “I love to cook. I never mention it because it just makes me sad. But nothing can make me sad right now if you’ve just put shrimp étouffée on the table.”

“I have no idea what you just said, but I’m glad you’re happy.”

He heard the amusement in Finn’s voice and cracked an eye to see him flickering his eyes between the road and the mirror. “Best. Surprise. Ever.”

Finn looked so pleased, it made Leo’s heart swell.

“Now can you please talk about something else to distract me from the fact that I have to wait hours to get to this place?”

“Yes!” Logan jumped in quickly. “We can talk about what the hell this road trip playlist is.”

Finn startled, glancing over at Logan. “What do you mean?”

“What are we listening to??”

Finn looked scandalized. “It’s the Eagles, Logan.”

“The Eagles?! What are you, 60 years old?”

“They’re iconic!”

“They’re old. Now give me the phone cable.”

Logan didn’t wait for Finn’s response before unceremoniously yanking the cord out of Finn’s phone and plugging in his own, scrolling through his music library.

Finn wasn’t done defending his choices. “Being old doesn’t make you less iconic! Plus, I like the way they write. And so do like, a hundred million other people! We can’t all be wrong!”

Logan finally stopped scrolling and interrupted the incensed redhead. “Hey, Finn?”

Finn glanced over one more time. “What?”

Logan just grinned, and pressed play. The opening notes of Rihanna’s ‘Shut Up and Drive’ filled the car and Leo just smiled and shook his head as Finn’s offended spluttering was drowned out by the sound of electric guitar and Logan’s self-satisfied cackle.

---

When the boys arrived in Ilvermorny, it was only 11am. Finn had packed them a big breakfast for the car and they still weren’t hungry enough for a full lunch, so they decided to grab a quick snack for now and leave the restaurant for dinner. There was a bakery across the street from the Information Center they had parked beside, and as Logan headed in to get their order, Leo stood outside with Finn and looked around. Finn had been right, this was a super quaint little town, all brightly coloured shop fronts and cute wooden sidewalks. He winced as a cool wind blew by, regretting that he had chosen to wear a snapback instead of a beanie. He still wasn’t used to the winter weather here.

“Hey, trade me.”

He turned to see Finn tugging off his beanie and gave him a questioning look. “Sorry, what?”

“You’re cold already, it’s just going to get worse over the day. Give me your hat and you can have this one.”

Leo was caught off guard. “Oh, my god, Finn. No. I was the idiot who didn’t bring a proper hat. I’m not going to make you freeze your ears for my mistake.”

Finn just reached up and plucked Leo’s snapback off his head, dropping it onto his own before using both hands to pull his beanie down low over Leo’s curls. Leo immediately felt the warmth, both of the wool over his ears, and of the blush moving up his cheeks to reach the place where his skin tingled from the brush of Finn’s fingers.

Finn’s wide eyes were kind as he smiled up at Leo. “I have a hood,” he said, voice soft, “you don’t. I’ll just pull mine up if I get cold.”

“Thank you.” Leo swallowed, trying and failing to pull his gaze from where it was locked onto Finn’s. Those damn gold flecks were still there. The pull he had felt since the day he had met him had never been stronger, and he felt himself start to move closer when the chime of the bakery door startled both of them.

He spun around, cursing himself internally. Stupid, stupid. Get it together. He’s not into you. You can’t be into him.

A gust of warm air blew over him as Logan stepped out with an armful of drinks and baked goods.

“Hey guys, sorry that took a minute, they were out of chocolate croissants, so I had to get something different.” His voice trailed off as he spotted Leo’s snapback over Finn’s red locks, and his gaze shot up to where Finn’s beanie was now snug over Leo’s ears.

A strange look crossed over his face, so quickly that Leo almost thought he imagined it. But it was gone before he could figure it out, replaced by a happy smile as he handed out coffees and they set to walking.

---

Finn

The three of them spent the afternoon checking out every recommendation from a guide-book Leo had snagged from the Information Center.

They toured what was apparently one of the oldest functioning lighthouses in America, tried (and failed) to spot whales from coin operated binoculars on the winter-emptied fishing pier, and stopped to watch a local artist creating beautiful framed scenes out of ocean glass she collected herself from her front yard. Finn bought one of her pieces. “A memory!” He told Leo and Logan.

They meandered down the entire length of the boardwalk, perusing heated stalls selling local goods and goading one another into walking down to the icy shore to test the temperature of the calm ocean water. When they stuck their hands in, it was so cold that it burned. When they finally needed to warm up, they had gone back into the little town to wander in and out of the local shops, talking and joking with the owners and with one another.

When they walked out of their final store, a chocolate shop that Logan in particular had been itching to check out, the sun was just disappearing behind the cliffs overlooking the town. They must have been in there for a while. Longer than Finn had thought, for sure.

Finn stood next to Leo, who was checking out the guidebook again, and watched Logan walk out of the shop after them, a bag of carefully selected chocolates held in his hand. He took a few steps away from the building and stopped, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to pull in a deep breath of seaside air. Finn watched as he breathed out, relaxed. It was something he did often, just taking a moment to take in the fresh air after a long time inside. Finn had noticed him doing the first time they had met, back in Montreal, and it had become engrained in his mind as something quintessentially Logan.

Finn’s stomach gave a loud grumble then, and he pulled his attention from Logan to nudge Leo. “Hey. It’s getting late, no? Do you guys want to get dinner now?”

“I’ve been waiting all day for you to say that!” Leo joked. Logan came back over to join them, and Leo passed him the guidebook as he stretched his arms above his head.

“And Logan can double check, but I actually think we’ve checked off everything in that book now, so the timing is perfect.” He dropped his arms. “Let’s head over?”

Finn led the way through the cheerful streets, scanning storefront signs until he saw the one they were looking for. Feeling dramatic, he grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, bowing deeply to Leo. “After you, my Louisian Lord.” He frowned at the way the word sounded and looked up to Leo for help. “Louisianian? Louisianan?... Orleanian??”

Leo just looked at him. “You’re ridiculous.”

Finn stood and shrugged. “Maybe. But you still have to go in first. Lo and I don’t know shit about Cajun food. You need to make us look cultured.”

Leo let out a snort at that, but led them into the restaurant anyway, looking around happily as they were led to a table.

The moment they had menus in their hands, Leo immediately took to describing every dish with an over-the-top enthusiasm his composed self rarely showed, and Finn gave up reading his own menu in favour of leaning back and listening to his version of the dishes instead.

A few minutes later, Logan joined suit, closing his menu with a shake of his head.

“Nut, they should hire you to rewrite these descriptions. You make me want to eat everything.”

Leo’s eyes shined. “We should! Let’s just order a bunch of things and share them. There are so many things you need to try.”

Finn shrugged amenably. “Works for me. Will you order? I wanna go wash my hands.” He stood as Leo nodded, eyes still glued to the menu. “Get something with sausage, ok?”

Alone in the washroom, Finn sighed happily as he let the warm water run over his chilled fingers, looking up at his own reflection in the mirror and smiling dopily as he thought about how well his planned day had gone. His eyes moved up to lock on to where he was still wearing Leo’s snapback, and his smile dimmed a bit as he flashed back to the moment he had had with him this morning.

Despite having told himself regularly for the past month that he needed to keep his feelings in check, not let his heart get too attached, this was now the second day in a row that he had let himself get caught with his guard down. Somehow he was getting worse at it, instead of better.

He had a tendency to get lost in the bubble he shared with Leo and Logan whenever they were together, forgetting to remember that for them, it was different. That for them, he was just a friend. And he had still been feeling a little exposed after last night’s crushing reminder of that when he had, without thinking, pulled his own beanie over Leo’s ears that morning. Then Leo’s eyes had locked onto his with that look, that indecipherable look, and he hadn’t been able to dredge up the willpower to turn away. Or, you know. Breathe.

But, he thought to himself, smile returning, Leo hadn’t seemed to notice anything off, or if he had, he had let it go, and the rest of their day had been incredible. Only with Leo and Logan could a winter day in a beach town, of all places, be this much fun. He’d never had this kind of a friendship with anyone before. He dried his hands, wondering vaguely if this was what the characters in Friends felt like with each other. He figured if it was, then Leo and Logan must be his Ross and Chandler.

And he knew he would fight anyone, even his own heart, to ensure they could remain that way.

When Finn came back to the table Leo was just finishing up their order. As the waitress walked away, he relaxed happily back into is seat, the warm light of the restaurant lanterns caught his hair in a way that made it glow like spun gold. His eyes were shining as he looked up at Finn, his smile bright and content.

“Alright, Finn?”

“So alright. And so ready to eat.”

Logan snorted at that. “Nut just ordered half the restaurant, so I hope you’re serious about that.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Leo rolled his eyes. “I ordered a completely reasonable amount of food.”

Finn smirked as a memory resurfaced. “Mmm. Completely reasonable in the way that Logan is a ‘completely reasonable player’?”

Logan gasped at that, looking offended. “Finn! Why do you remember that!”

Finn laughed openly as he dodged the sugar packet Logan threw at him. “How could I forget you beating up Leo on the streets of Montreal?”

Logan leaned back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest and a grumpy look on his face that only made Finn laugh more. “You still haven’t come to watch a game. You have no idea how totally reasonable I am.”

“Fair enough.” Finn acquiesced, still chuckling. He caught sight of a server walking toward them with a gigantic tray of food, and his eyes widened in alarm. “But if you and Leo have the same definition of reasonable, I’m thinking it’s going to be an interesting game.”

At that, Leo followed Finn’s gaze and let out a moan so obscene that Finn was sure he would be thinking about it for days. “Oh my god, you guys. Best. Day. Ever.”

Finn just grinned and prepared himself to feast.

---

Logan

Leo ordered too much food.

Despite joking about it while he ordered it, Logan had actually been surprised when their order was dropped at the table. Leo was usually so concerned about food waste, but there had hardly been room for their plates with everything the servers delivered. He knew they were definitely not going to be able to eat it all. He had almost teased him about it, but then Leo had taken his first bite of the jambalaya that he claimed to be ‘exactly like home’, and there was no way Logan was going to say anything that might take that look off of Leo’s face.

But now, after trying to eat as much of the excessive, and admittedly, phenomenal, food as he could, Logan was feeling very full, and very much less inclined to indulge Leo’s desires, which at the moment involved ‘sitting back and letting it digest’. Absolutely not. He needed to move.

It only took a few minutes of pleading to get them standing up, and Logan led them out of the restaurant and onto the street before flipping open the guidebook. “Ok, so Finn said there’s a lookout around here somewhere that we can walk up to. They don’t have it listed as a thing to do in here but I think this is a picture of it. It looks like it’s supposed to be more for watching the sunset, but I think it’ll still be cool to look down at the town, even though it’s already dark.”

Leo voiced his agreement from where he was leaning against the wall of the restaurant. “Let’s do it. Finn, do you know how to get to it?”

“Ummm,” Finn pulled out his phone. “I don’t remember exactly, but I know it’s a trail, not a road to get up there, and it starts closer to where we parked the car.”

“Ok cool,” Logan stomped his feet against the chillier evening air, “lets go to the car then, and we can pull up a map once we’re closer. We should start moving before we get cold.”

Leo pushed off the wall as Finn tucked his phone back into his pocket, and the three of them started moving back down the sidewalk- much more sluggish than they had been before dinner. They didn’t really fit three across, and Logan let Leo and Finn pull in front of him as they talked about the history of Cajun cooking. Logan wasn’t particularly interested in the topic—he couldn’t cook, like Leo could, and he wasn’t all that interested in history, like Finn was—so he let his mind wander as he fell into step behind them.

Seeing the two of them side by side reminded him of this morning, that weird moment outside of the bakery when he had felt, for a moment, as though he was interrupting something. Between them.

It was the way they had both looked vaguely flustered, Leo taking that step back, away from Finn, that had triggered his imagination. He had brushed it off almost immediately; he knew he was projecting, letting the old feelings for Leo that he had been pushing down for so long, and the new ones he was trying desperately to avoid for Finn, make him see things that weren’t there. They had clearly just switched hats, which explained it. It was ridiculous, really, and he knew that. But…

As he walked along behind the two other boys, Logan allowed himself to picture it, just for a moment. The idea of the two of them being together. He thought it would make him sad, but he was surprised to realize that it didn’t. That he liked imagining it.

At least, he liked it until he remembered that if the two of them had each other, there wouldn’t be a place for him anymore. The thought made his heart twist. Even though he knew he would never be able to have either one of them the way he really, truly wanted them, he loved having them like this. As friends.

It was funny, he thought to himself as he watched Leo and Finn chatting casually in front of him. He and Leo had gotten along well from the time they met, but they were definitely closer now. Something about Finn and his chaotic open-heartedness had made them more open too. And as a result, they had gotten closer not just with him, but with each other as well. He would die before he would admit it, but he was glad Leo had dragged him up on that stage.

“Hello, earth to Tremzy?” Logan jolted himself out of his thoughts with a flush, realizing they had reached the car without him noticing.

“Sorry, I got distracted. What’s up?”

Finn was holding up his phone up with his usual cheerfulness, waiting for Logan to look at the map he had pulled up.

“Look, we found the trail head!”

He pointed off the side of the road, where they could just see the very top of a short sign sticking out of the snow. It was very clear that nobody else had gone up to the lookout that winter. The snow was deep and untouched.

“I’m thinking that maybe we could throw on our snow pants and give it a try? And if it turns out to be impossible, we’ll just turn around and roll back down.” Finn tilted his head at Logan and Leo, lips pulled up into an eager, hopeful smile. It was adorable. “What do you think?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, we brought snow pants, might as well get some good use out of them.”

---

Finn

Ten minutes later Finn could hear Logan cursing as he sank in the snow.

“Tabarnak! This is insane! Why am I in the front?? You both have longer legs than me, this snow is over my hips!” He complained.

“You’re Canadian, Tremz. I thought you would know how to handle snow.” Leo was focused on the ground in front of him, picking his way carefully through the trail Logan broke for them. “Plus,” he added thoughtfully, “this is the first time you’ve ever admitted to being short.”

Finn laughed as Logan whirled around with a glare, bending to grab a handful of snow. Leo ducked, laughing, as the snowball flew past his head.

“He’s got goalie reflexes Lo, you’re gonna have to do better than that!” Finn called up over the sounds of Leo’s bright laughter. Logan lifted a hand over his head to flip them off without turning around and they continued their trek up the hill.

By the time they reached the observation deck all three boys were panting.

“Oh my god, it’s hot.” Finn whined as he made his way over to the railing, pulling down his hood. He opened his mouth to say more, but his complaints stuck in his throat as the sight below them came into view.

“Whoa.” He breathed out the word.

He felt Leo and Logan lean against the railing next to him.

“It looks like a postcard.” Leo sounded as awed as Finn, and a quick glance at Logan showed he felt the same.

The town glowed softly below them, the warm light of the streetlamps sparkling prettily off the blanket of snow that covered every peaked roof. The lighthouse they had visited earlier that day was lit up, sending a beautiful reflection rippling through the waves of the never-ending blackness of the ocean in front of it. The moon was full, and the sky was clear, and Finn felt like they had just stepped into the fairy tale. He almost wanted to hold his breath.

The spell was broken when Leo took a step back from the railing to unwind his scarf. He looked apologetic as the other two turned to watch him. “I’m sorry guys, I’m just too hot.”

“You don’t have to apologize for being warm, Leo,” said Finn, smiling at him and taking the opportunity to look around the rest of the platform they stood on.

The observation deck was surrounded by the pristine sparkle of a fresh snowfall, and Finn suddenly had an idea. He trudged through the snow to the other side of the deck, hoisting himself up on to the railing as Logan and Leo looked on in confusion. “What are you doing?” Logan eyed him suspiciously. “I,” he grinned down at them, “am cooling off. And so are you. Come on!” He felt his smile widen as he watched the two boys look between him and the snow on the other side of the railing and connect the dots. To his surprise it was Leo who grinned and climbed up next to him first, looking back at Logan expectantly. “Absolutely not.” Logan shook his head from where he stood resolutely on the deck floor. “It’s gonna be cold.” “Come on Lo,” Finn pouted at him, “it’s not like we’re jumping in the ocean. It’s a snow pile. You have a winter clothes on. Get up here!” Leo joined in, eyes twinkling as he teased his stubborn teammate, “Come on Tremz. All your friends are about to jump off a cliff. Aren’t you gonna do it too?” Logan snorted. “The edge is on the other side of the deck. You’re going to jump ON to a cliff. And no. No, I’m not.”

“I remember saying something similarly ‘no’-like when I was being peer pressured into leaving my nice warm house yesterday.” Finn reminded him pointedly. “I’m sure you will recall how that worked out for me.” “I do.” Logan’s expression suddenly shifted into something more mischievous and his voice turned teasing. “And what made you give in, Finn?”

Finn felt his face go warm as Logan held his gaze. Was he…?

No. He was just trying to get him worked up. Leo had said Logan loved to push people’s buttons. Finn had seen Logan do it. But being on the receiving end of that look was sending a burning feeling straight down to Finn’s core, and he needed to change the subject before it became a much more noticeable problem. “I looked up the menu.” He blurted out. “They had cheese fries” Smooth. Idiot. Finn mentally facepalmed as he put on his best fake haughty expression and looked anywhere but at Logan for a moment as he reined himself in.

Thankfully, Leo came to the rescue, laughing at Finn before looking back at a now grumpy Logan, who was upset that his goading hadn’t worked. “Please Tremz?” He held out a hand, giving him a very exaggerated pout. “You know you want to jump with us.”

Logan looked back and forth between the two of them for a second before rolling his eyes and dropping his arms.

“Fine.” He sighed, resigned. “But if I get sick I’m telling coach both of you threw me in.”

Finn, calm now, beamed at Logan as he batted Leo’s hand away and climbed up on Finn’s other side. “That’s the spirit!”

“Shut up.”

But Finn could see the smile Logan was hiding now as he looked down at the untouched snow below them. “On the count of three?”

They looked between one another as Leo took the lead.

“One. Two. THREE!”

They jumped in sync, screeching as they cannonballed down into fluffy drifts.

Leo immediately scrambled to his feet, eyes sparkling with excitement as he looked down at Finn and Logan. “Again!”

Finn chuckled at that, rolling around to find his own leverage. “Alright then.”

---

The three boys spent the next hour of the evening concocting ever more complex dives into the deep snow. Finn was delighted to find that apparently when it came to snow, it was reasonable, level-headed Leo who was the instigator of the most ridiculous ideas. It was him who came up with the idea of catapulting one another off the railing, making a game of who could knock the snow from the highest branches.

After one final jump, which brought him absolutely nowhere near the record-holding branch, Finn let himself flop backward into the snow, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “My entire body is exhausted.” He groaned. “How do you guys do this for a living?”

Leo and Logan joined him on the ground as Leo responded to him, amusement in his voice. “You really need to come and watch a game if you think this is what we do for a living.”

Finn just laughed. “I meant the exerting yourself part, not the jumping in the snow part. I’m not completely oblivious.”

“Mmhmm. Whatever you say, O’Hara.” Logan was smiling as he leaned back to join Finn looking up at the sky.

Leo laid down on Finn’s other side and the three of them stayed in comfortable silence for a few moments, catching their breath again.

Finn could see their faces in his periphery, the moonlight glowing on Logan’s tan skin, reflecting off of Leo’s golden curls. He felt peaceful, relaxed in their quiet company.

It was Leo who broke the silence, his quiet voice carrying through the late evening calm.

“I haven’t seen the stars like this since I was home.”

Logan leaned up on an elbow to look at him, on the other side of Finn. “Really?”

“Ya.” His voice was almost a whisper now, and Finn turned to look at him too, catching the wistful look in his eyes as he watched the sky. “You can see so many of them at home. I didn’t know I would miss them so much.”

“Knutty…” Logan made a move as though he wanted to reach out, but stopped himself, simply looking at Leo for a moment before lying back down instead. “I didn’t know.”

“I never told you.” Leo responded gently; his eyes still turned up.

Finn followed his gaze up to the glittering ceiling, so high above them. “I get why you would miss them. You never see anything like this in the cities. It’s beautiful.”

“It is.” He agreed, his smile sad.

But then his voice turned playful again, and he smirked as he sat up to look at Finn and Logan, flat on their backs next to him. “Too bad you have to freeze your ass off to see them here. Time to go!” He dug his hands down beside him, flicked handfuls of snow up at both of them, and was up and running to the car before either of them could register the shock of the cold sliding down their faces.

---

The drive back home that night was peaceful. Logan and Leo relaxed in their seats, listening to Finn singing quietly along to the radio as he drove. Logan had teased Finn for knowing all the lyrics to every song that came on (“it’s literally my job, Lo.”), but he had also been the one to ask him to keep singing as he dozed off against his window in the backseat. All three of them were pleasantly sleepy from the day spent out in the cold air.

When they arrived back in Gryffindor, Finn drove past downtown, where Leo’s hotel was, to drop off Logan first. When Logan questioned him about it, Finn simply replied, “You get picked up first, you get dropped off first. I don’t make the rules Lo, I just follow them.”

Logan seemed to be too tired to argue with that logic, so he just shrugged and carried on singing softly with Finn until they reached Dumo’s driveway.

“See you guys later.” He clapped their shoulders, looking tired but happy as he climbed out of the back seat. “Thanks for today, Finn. I had fun.”

“You’re welcome, Lo. Anytime.” Finn smiled at him.

“See you in the morning, Tremz.” Leo added, and the two of them watched as Logan walked up the front steps.

When Logan was safely inside, Finn started the short drive back to the hotel. Leo was still quiet, looking content with his head against the window, studying what little he could see of the stars now that they were back in the city.

Finn kept sneaking glances at him as he went over a plan in his head. He had a reason for dropping Logan off first- he wanted an opportunity to catch Leo alone. Had been waiting for it all day. But now that he had it, he was nervous, and before he knew it they were pulling up in front of the hotel.

“Thanks for today Finn, I had an incredible time.” Leo smiled sincerely at him and turned to open his door. Finn panicked then, not wanting him to leave, and practically screeched his name.

“Leo, wait!”

Leo jumped, eyes wide in confused surprise as he looked back at Finn.

Goddamn, those eyes. Finn had never seen eyes so blue. He had to look away to find his voice again.

“Uh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell that.”

“That’s fine, Harz. What’s up?”

Finn took a breath to steady himself and brought his gaze back up to meet Leo’s.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were living in hotels?”

Leo’s expression grew even more confused.

“I don’t know… I guess it never came up. It’s not a big deal, rookies do it all the time.”

Finn nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay…” Leo nodded too, waiting for Finn to speak again. When he didn’t, Leo turned to the door again. “Well, thanks again for today, I’ll –“

“You should come and live with me.” Finn blurted it out, and then held his breath as he waited to for a response. He hoped he hadn’t crossed a line. But it made him so sad to think of Leo, kind, sweet Leo, all alone in strange hotel rooms every night. Especially after tonight, after seeing how homesick he really was.

Leo’s eyebrows shot up, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before managing to stammer out, “I- what?”

Finn looked back down at the steering wheel, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. He spoke quickly, nervously. “Obviously you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you or anything, that’s definitely not my intention, I just- I mean, I have the space, you know that… and just, the idea of you not having a place that you can call home right now…” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know. I don’t want you to have to experience that. Not when I can help.”

He kept his gaze focused on the steering wheel, the stitching of it suddenly very interesting.

“Finn,” said Leo softly. Finn swallowed once and forced himself to look back up at the younger boy. There was an odd look on his face. Finn hoped it wasn’t a bad sign. “Thank you, for offering.”

Finn nodded, swallowing again even though his mouth felt desert dry.

Leo looked out the window, up at the façade of the Hogwarts Hotel, thoughtful. Finn would have given anything at that moment to know what he was thinking. Leo and his stupid goalie face.

After a moment, he turned back to him. “Are you serious?”

Finn nodded quickly, his confidence starting to return when Leo didn’t laugh at him. “Of course. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. But I’m also serious when I say I won’t be offended if you’re not interested. I know sometimes people don’t like sharing a space.”

Leo let out a breath through his nose and chewed his lip as he considered Finn for a few more moments.

“I think I would like that.” He said, his features softening as he started to smile.

“Really?” Finn was pleasantly surprised. “You would?”

Leo laughed. “I would.”

“Sweet! Ok. Tell me which room you want and I’ll make sure it’s all cleared out for you. Whenever you want to come. You could literally come tomorrow. I have nothing scheduled in those rooms”

Leo leaned back against the seat, shaking his head fondly at Finn’s trademark earnestness. “I’m booked in here until the end of the week. I was supposed to move to another hotel on Friday. Is that too early?”

“No! That’s perfect.”

“Well. Alright then. I guess I’ll be there on Friday.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.” They smiled at each other awkwardly for a second, and Leo burst into laughter.

“Okay, now its weird. Goodnight Finn.” He stepped out of the car.

“Goodnight, Leo.”

Finn couldn’t stop grinning the whole way home.

#sweater weather lumosinlove #lumosinlove #Coast To Coast #o'knutzy

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

Text

I Know.

Poe Dameron x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Poe has a confession to make to Reader during the heat of the battle on Exegol.

A/N: This is my fic for day one of Oscar Isaac week 🥰 I honestly had a hard time choosing a favorite character cause I love so many of them (namely Poe, Llewyn, Santiago and Nathan) but I decided to go with the character that I’ve written the most for 🥰 I love my hot headed pilot- Poe 😊 Thanks for reading and Requests are open.

Warnings: Canon typical violence & Threat of character death

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.4K

Exegol was a mystery I didn’t care to unfold, I just knew I had to defeat it and then escape it. The battle was the most brutal one I had ever been in. The first order showed no mercy against its foe’s in battle, but the final order was here to decimate everything in its path.

I was deep in the heart of the battle with my squadron, when I heard a distinct voice call out for me over the comms. It belonged to my best friend of many years, Poe. We had been through thick and thin, I had known him since both of our days serving in the New Republic Navy, we had even defected over to the resistance together.

We had already done a sort of goodbye when we were just about to take off towards Exegol in preparation for one of us possibly not coming back. I still felt like there were many things left unsaid between the two of us and I wished my past self would have told Poe how I really felt. It seems as though Poe had words left unsaid to me as well.

“I love you!” I heard through the intercom of my ship, I almost missed it because of the constant bombardment of bolts coming towards my x-wing. My heart was soaring with adrenaline and it further leaped high in my chest in response to the words that were shouted out from Poe’s mouth. Even though the battle that was raging around us was more important he spoke again, this time with less desperation in his voice and with a more resigned tone, “I need you to know that I love you, I should have said it long ago.”

His resigned tone had a meaning I was unable to decipher in the heat of the moment, unable to discern whether or not it was because he thought he would die or if he thought I would not reciprocate. He was an idiot if he thought I didn’t feel the same, in fact the only reason I had never plucked up the courage to say something to the man that I often jokingly called a ‘nerfherder’ was because we were in the middle of the war. Maybe I was the idiot for never saying something, I realized I’d rather have a short time with him then no time at all.

I found myself wishing that we were exchanging the words face to face and not seemingly miles apart as I gulped down a breath to find my bearings so I could say the words back to him. I wished he had told me sooner, truthfully though I was not surprised at all, he always had terrible timing. Hopefully I’d get a chance to kiss him once our ships had landed and not be cursed to hear his confession without knowing what his lips felt on mine. “I know, Poe. I know you love me and I love you too.”

All I was able to hear in response to my words was a sigh of relief before all the comms cut out and we were free falling through the atmosphere of Exegol. All I could do was scream for Poe as I fell to what I assumed was my death.

——

The jungle moon of Ajan Kloss where the resistance had its base was much hotter than the harsh cold of space. Normally, I would’ve found the heat to be suffocating to me, but I found it a welcome reminder of the fact that I had actually made it out of the battle alive when I started to climb out of my x-wing.

When my feet hit the soft ground my legs couldn’t hold me upright and I fell down to my knees out of exhaustion and relief. The damp jungle dirt was surely staining my flight suit, hopefully I wouldn’t need to go up into space for a while. I loved flying, but feeling the ground underneath me was more valuable to me at this time.

All around me people were celebrating, most were still in deep embraces with their loved ones though I had noticed some had already broken out the stash of mainly Corellian whiskey that the pilots hid on base. It was normally used for when we were all in a somber mood, in a need to escape the horrors of the war. It was nice to see it used for its intended purpose, celebration.

Everyone was all off in their own little worlds celebrating with the people they cared about most and were reunited with. Unfortunately also not everyone had someone to celebrate with in the distance I noticed Karé standing by her x-wing looking more lost than I had ever seen her before. I knew that she had heard and had probably seen her husband, Snap, perish in the battle as had many other important people.

I got up off the damp ground not bothering to dust off my knees before making my way over to my crying friend. As I made my way over to her as quickly as I could with my wobbly knees I thought about my person that I could’ve lost in the battle. Once we had regained contact with everyone I was glad to hear Poe’s voice over the comms again, but I still hadn’t seen him since I landed. A pang of fear shot up through me that I had to push down, I could find Poe later right now I needed to comfort my friend.

I engulfed her in a deep hug as soon as I was close enough to reach out to her. We stood there for a while as her tears dampened the right shoulder of my flight suit.

“There’s someone who needs you more than I do.” She said, with a watery smile after we let go of our embrace. I assumed that the rest of the pilots must have also heard the confession between Poe and I. Of course he hadn’t opened a private channel on comms for his confession, he was always the dramatic one.

As I was about to make a remark back to Karé I heard my name being called throughout the celebrating crowd. I looked around to find the source of the voice that I knew was definitely Poe. When I saw a man with a flight suit that matched mine with a head of messy dark curls I gave Karé a soft smile before bounding over to him, not caring about my still wobbly knees. The way we charged at each other and met with a crushing hug was sickeningly cliche, but I didn’t care all that much since I was in the arms of Poe.

“You have horrible timing.” Were the first words I could find myself to say once I had finally reached him. The sweat dripping off of the both of us doing nothing to hinder how deeply we pulled each other close.

The heat of the crushing hug was even more comforting than the heat of Ajan Kloss. It mattered more to me to be alive in the presence of Poe than to be alive and alone on this desert moon.

“I know.” His cheeky smile was evident to me even though I couldn’t see his face as it was tucked into my neck. Moving my hand away from the back of his neck I ran it through his curls before bonking him on the head lightly in jest. Giggling a little he let his grip on me loosen a little to pull his head out of the crook of my neck and look at me.

The smile on his face dropped a little as he stared at my face for a few moments as if he was inspecting me to make sure I was real. After I had seemingly passed his inspection he brought his hands up from my torso to caress my cheeks, then bringing me forward into a sweet yet also desperate kiss. I sighed deeply into the kiss in relief, I could confirm that he was just as real too and I finally knew what his lips felt like on mine. The kiss only further confirmed what I had said to him, I know that I love him.

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Poe Dameron/SW (new tag list):

#oscarisaacweek #Star Wars #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars imagine #oscar isaac x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #oscar isaac

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ri-ahhh · 4 years ago

Text

You want more from your situation-ship with Grayson, but does he?

5.8k lol so buckle up if you have the time

inspired by this pool floatie I bought a while ago and last Saturday when I got drunk in the pool by myself.

warnings: tiny bit of angst, smut, too much fluff

also I’m sorry if this long ass post clogs you your feed; the website on my laptop never works anymore for some reason so I do everything through mobile and have no idea if/how to put the keep reading thing on here through the app. Pls lmk if you do!

***

Few things in life are more mundane and yet more pleasurable than lying in the sun on a hot, balmy summer’s day. It’s by far one of your favorite pastimes — letting that omnipresent warmth seep into your pores until your skin glows and glistens, waving goodbye to your anxieties as they’re carried away with a cooling breeze, enjoying some time alone to think.

That alone thinking time was much-needed today as you lie back in your pool floatie, drifting gently atop the nearly-still surface of Grayson’s pool. You could have gone to the large communal pool at your apartment complex, or the beach, or even to a less…complicated friend’s house to have your day of thinking in the sun, but there were several factors that played into your choice to come here instead.

Not smart factors, admittedly; was it smart to come to the home of your best friend/fuck buddy to think about maybe telling him that you maybe want more? Fuck no. That’s the problem when you’ve got two voices dueling in your head, though, and one ends up decidedly louder than the other. You’ve got the Rational voice at the back of your mind telling you coming here wasn’t a good idea, that you’re somewhat-inexcusably pissed at him and it isn’t fair to dump that on him without figuring things out before you see him again.

But then you've got the Dumb Bitch voice in the forefront, reasoning that your ‘regular’ friends are simply too busy, your apartment pool is always way too crowded to avoid distractions, and the beach on the weekend has the same issue with the added downside that alcohol is strictly forbidden.

Despite the twins’ dislike of the substance, going without it wasn't an option for you today, and so as you walked out the door of your apartment you had shoved a few cans into your oversized tote bag. You take a satisfying sip of the sponsored drink of all Dumb Bitches everywhere, a lime Whiteclaw, and sigh, relaxing against the raised back of your floatie. You’re grateful for the cold, crisp bubbles tickling the back of your throat as little beads of sweat start to stipple at your temples, and you dip a foot into the water for added coolness. It’s the equivalent of sleeping with one leg under the covers and one out, ensuring your body’s temperature is perfectly balanced as you glide soothingly across the flat surface of the water, your mind wandering.

You like to think whatever you have with Grayson is complicated and dramatic, for the sake of your own rationale, but it’s really not. You started as good friends, which turned into the casual and inevitable flirting that happens when anyone becomes close with the opposite sex, which turned into an unexpected and amazing fuck on his couch one night a few months ago.

Which has turned into: two people who tiptoe around the obvious any time they're together to avoid the messiness that comes with relationships and, ultimately, ruined friendships. It’s obvious to everyone that the two of you care about each other deeply. It’s even obvious to you and Gray yourselves: you’ve had the ‘what are we’ talk; the ‘you’re the only one I hit up’ talk. But that was it — just sex. It’s what you both wanted, what you both agreed on after that first time was so good. You’re both terrible at relationships and staying emotionally invested and owning your feelings. So it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The irony of it all is that you’ve found yourself in the predicament that afflicts almost every fuck-buddy situation-ship — it’s gotten messy. You’re not ignorant enough to ignore that certain things have triggered the realization that you potentially have stronger feelings for him beyond those brought about by having amazing sex together. But you’re not sure you’re willing to lose him from your life completely if he doesn't feel the same. You can live with some emotionally one-sided boning if it meant you got to see him, be close to him, like you are right now.

You sigh and your eyes close as you zone out for a bit, trying to push your worries away and enjoy the simplicity of this moment in the sun, willing your mind to become as clear as the blue sky above you. Willing the universe to shine some guidance down on you.

“Can I join you?”

You startle with a little gasp and your eyes shoot open in surprise. Your head jolts up to find Grayson standing at the side of the pool in his too-short swim trunks that cling to his thick thighs appealingly, and nothing else. He and Ethan had been filming earlier (one of the reasons you justified coming over, he’d be out of sight and out of mind) but apparently he’s done now. He’s got a hand covering his face to shield his eyes in the bright light, and if you didn’t know their voices so well or have a familiarity with their tattoos, you would have had to do a double-take to discern him from Ethan; you’re still not used to his short hair.

You liked it better longer, but you won’t tell him that; it’s not your place. You’re not his girlfriend.

“It’s your pool, you can do whatever you want,” you answer with a shrug, ignoring his amused grin that you presume is from scaring you. You don’t mean for it to come out so short and clipped, but now that he’s here in front of you, he’s suddenly a proverbial thundercloud in that clear sky of your conscience you were so close to achieving

His presence reminds you of why you’re unjustifiably mad at him, and also what drove you to this crisis point at all: the mystery girl in his private Snap story from three days ago, when he and Ethan had gone to the skate park with some friends while you had to work. You think of how she had laughed too obviously when he bombed a trick; how she had clung to his veiny forearms much too long while he helped her balance on a board; how close she had snuggled up to him in the group picture.

And who even was she? You didn’t recognize her, and you thought you might have detected some kind of accent…British or Australian maybe?

He’s not your boyfriend, you remind yourself sternly, realizing you’re sliding down the same rabbit hole you've been avoiding ever since you viewed the story. You’re not his girlfriend.

You’ve been repeating that mantra for the past three days though, and it hasn’t changed a damn thing in your head. Especially when he comes out looking like this, all broad and sculpted and familiar, and the thought of another girl even coming near him makes you want to throw hands.

But he doesn’t know that — you barely recognize that. What you are able to recognize is that bratty attitude is uncalled for, but your mind is revving again, fueled by all of your conflicting wants and insecurities.

He seems to pay no mind to your moodiness, though, and shrugs too with a little hum as he dunks a large foot in the water curiously. He looks back up at you, and even though you still can’t quite see the look in his eyes, his voice is telling. “How’s the tan coming?”

You can feel his focus glued to your tits and fight the urge to roll your eyes because you know what he’s doing, and you know you shouldn’t be mad because you’ve been fine with it until… whenever. You don’t really know when things changed in your head. Certainly mystery girl was a catalyst for getting it through your thick skull that you like him. But as of now he’s going by what the two of you know: show up, flirt, fuck. And you don’t have the right to be pissed at him for doing just that. You showed up here by your own free will.

So yes, you’re well aware he’s initiating your usual routine with each other, and you make the quick decision to go along with it rather than face your feelings. It’s easier that way.

You raise an eyebrow at him knowingly and tuck the fingers of your free hand into the triangle top of your bikini to pull it completely aside, exposing your whole breast for him. Despite yourself, you hide your victorious smirk when you see him swallow hard by ducking your head to check the changes in your skin tone; boys are too easy.

“Pretty good, I guess,” you answer truthfully, actually satisfied with the notable difference. You gaze back at him, unable to wipe the smugness from your features as he conspicuously adjusts himself in his swimsuit. “What do you think?”

“Looks good to me,” he agrees with a smirk, giving your chest one last look as you readjust the material back in place before anyone else in the house might come out and see. He shakes his head as if to clear it and turns around to rummage through the little storage shed that houses all of the pool supplies. He retrieves a thick foam floatie and tosses it into the pool with a mischievous smile.

“Grayson!” you shout, half annoyed and half amused when he lunges onto it head-first into the water. His big body causes tidal waves to erupt all across the pool, jostling you roughly in your own floatie as you lift your drink in the air to avoid getting chlorine water in it.

He chuckles and shakes his head when he sees what you're doing, rolling his eyes as he settles on his stomach. His arms and back flex enticingly as he does an imitated breast-stroke to paddle over to you. “Really?” he deadpans, looking pointedly at your Whiteclaw.

“Yes, really,” you reply, kicking your foot so water splashes in his face as you take a deliberate gulp. You don’t elaborate, genuinely not in the mood to get into this debate with him.

Grayson wraps a big hand around the edge of your floatie and pulls until your heads are even with each other, even though your’s is sitting higher. He keeps a grip on the inflated plastic so you don’t drift away from him, leaning over and planting a strangely affectionate kiss to the top of your arm while looking up at you with those sweet hazel eyes. You’re a sucker for them, and he knows it; he must sense your attitude, after all.

“You’re cranky,” he confirms, his lips brushing against your skin when he speaks.

His tone isn’t accusatory, but you can’t help but take it as such, and you finally do roll your eyes when you raise the can to your lips once again. “Yeah, well, I had a long fuckin’ week.”

He hesitates. In your peripheral you can see his face working as he tries to remember what he might have done between letting you in his house a couple hours ago, and now to warrant your scorn. The two of you rarely argue, and he’s clearly unsure of how to proceed.

Finally, his hand shifts to caress your thigh, and you can’t stop the warmth that spreads all within you, especially to your pussy. You know he can feel the visceral twitch of your muscles beneath your skin when your thighs clench. It’s simultaneously comforting and maddening that he has this hold on you — there’s both security and fear there.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Do you? Absolutely not. Should you…?

“Not really,” you answer, but soften your words by scratching your fingers through his hair. You can’t help it; he’s trying, and it’s sweet, and reminds you of how you might have gotten to the point of wanting more from him after all.

Satisfied for the moment that you’re not too pissed at him, a little content smile graces his full lips and he lets out a small, appeased groan. You lose sight of his eyes as they droop closed and his head rests on his folded arm, the other still curled around your leg. It makes a little fuzzy ball of happiness grow in your chest as you indulge him for a few minutes, dragging your nails against his scalp, down the nape of his neck, across his broad shoulders. Mystery girl doesn’t get to do this.

You’re tracing his lion tattoo with lingering water and sweat droplets on his skin when he turns his head, eyes fluttering open to stare up at you. There’s a heat behind them that you’re more than familiar with, and it makes you flush more than the sun already does.

“Are you drunk?” he asks, his voice low, eyes glued to your face.

His fingertips start stroking a path from where they’re resting on your thigh, down to the equally sensitive patch of skin on the inside of your knee, and back up again. You can’t hold back the shiver down your spine or the throbbing in your clit even as anger flares within you.

“Are you serious?” you challenge, throwing your sunglasses to the top of your head so he can get the full effect of how mad that question makes you. This topic was probably you’re main point of contention with Grayson, and you were already a little testy with him. You shake the can in your hand to indicate it’s still about one-third full, and barely discern your floatie hitting the side of the pool. “No, I’m not Grays—”

Before you can process what’s happening, he's lunging from his own float to crawl over you and plant his hands on the pool ledge. He’s holding himself above you, trapping you in this weird cocoon of hot, sticky plastic and his wet, muscled torso as he dips his head to kiss you soundly.

He accepts your inadvertent moan with a little knowing smile against your lips, and his tongue wastes no time slipping between them to find yours. He licks into your mouth, around your cheeks, sliding against your tongue, tickling your hard palate. Always thorough, always perfect. You moan again because he just kisses you that fucking good, and can’t stop your hands from diving fully into his hair, your drink plunking into the water.

What were you so mad at him for? You don’t remember and you don’t care, and if he didn't have this amnesia effect on you, you’d realize that this is exactly where your problems are stemming from. Burying everything in both a proverbial hole and a literal pile of discarded clothes.

Grayson starts to slow down and sucks your lower lip into his mouth, releasing it with a little smack as he pulls away to look at you in the eye. You replace his teeth with your own, dragging the swollen pink between them as you trail one hand over his defined pec. He looks fantastic like this, all his muscles working easily to support himself while he lets you lean over and suck hot little kisses down the thick column of his neck.

His skin tastes clean and salty and it’s addictive on your tongue when you add it to the mix, sucking and nibbling at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He moans and you smile, your pussy clenching when you think about the mark that will definitely be imprinted into his tan skin, how it’s in the perfect position to be mostly hidden while still peeking out of the collar of his shirt tomorrow if he isn’t careful. The idea causes a surge of possessiveness to electrify your body, and you bite down harder into the same spot without even realizing.

Grayson gasps and pulls back, looking at you questioningly. You offer nothing in return, daring him with your eyes to keep going. It’s his move now.

He does nothing other than continue to search your face, until finally he speaks. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”

You’re a little surprised, but it’s not like he’s this douchebag with no emotional intelligence. He’s obviously able to tell somethings wrong and that it involves him. You just didn’t expect him to be so concerned still, when you’re both willing to carry about like normal.

“Nothing.”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that. Come on, talk to me.”

“I said it’s nothing, Gray. Can we keep going, please?”

“Not until you tell me what’s the matter,” he says. He dips his head, and you think he’s going to kiss you stupid again, but his lips just barely find the corner of your mouth in the tiniest of kisses. It feels good in a different way, sending tingles across your scalp and down your neck, and your eyes shut when he moves to the other corner. Then your nose, then your eyelids, until he’s nuzzling his nose in your cheek. “Please?”

Oof. You love that word coming from Grayson; it doesn’t happen too often.

“Dude, I’m fine,” you sigh, rubbing his bicep and gazing at his collarbone distractedly, completely unable to meet his eyes. You’ll crumble if you catch the concern there, and right now you just want an uncomplicated orgasm. “You have to be getting tired holding yourself up like that.”

“I’ve held myself above you for longer,” he retorts, half smug and half matter-of-fact. He’s not wrong, to be fair.

“Well, remind me for real. Inside, in bed,” you insist, finally looking up at him.

Grayson just stares back at you, his eyes searching your face intently. After what feels like an eternity, he pushes away from the pool ledge and sinks below the surface of the water. You think you’ve won, and a little thrill rushes through you like it often does when you know you’re about to fuck him. You start to roll off of your floatie, when you feel pressure at the end of it.

“What—?”

Grayson is suddenly popping his head up in the opening at the foot of your floatie, then squeezing his Dorito torso through the smallish hole as well. It’s clearly a tight fit, but it keeps his head and chest securely above the water.

He shakes his head out of habit, as if to fling the hair out of his face, and it does something to your heart and your vagina. You miss the strands that would hang in his eyes like he was straight out of a Giorgio Armani ad or something. Not that he’s not still model-like, but something about that hair just hit different.

“Scoot,” he says, reaching his arms out to grasp your ankles and tug, indicating for you to slide down the plastic.

You look at him suspiciously, curious as to why he seems to be giving up so easily, but oblige him anyways. Like you aren't going to pass up the chance of getting eaten out in the pool.

A sudden thought occurs to you when he hooks his fingers in the waistband of your high-cut bikini bottoms. “Wait…”

He cocks an arched brow. “Gonna talk to me?”

“Where is everyone?” you ask, ignoring his question.

“E and Sterling dropped me off then went to run errands. They’ll be gone for a while,” he says, pulling down on your swimsuit. He growls when your smooth pussy appears bare for him at last, and he flings the scrap of material behind him so it lands somewhere on the concrete.

He wraps his giant hands around your hips and pulls again, and this time you listen, wiggling down with some rather unattractive squeaks of your skin against the plastic, but you end up flat on your back with your pussy in his face. The heat of the sun bakes your skin in the best way, almost arousing in and of itself, but Grayson’s warm breath against your sensitive lower lips definitely does the trick. You feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, gasping when one of his fingers comes up to delicately trace the softness of your freshly waxed skin.

You can’t see him between the brightness of the sun above you and the precarious support of the floatie, which only makes the featherlight touches of his fingers and now his tongue that much more impactful. He barely holds you open with two of his fingertips while the softness of the pointed tip of his tongue licks the slickness from you with a barely-there pressure that leaves you so frustrated and turned on your eyes just roll back and your thighs quiver.

“God, Grayson, please,” you moan out when you finally can’t take it anymore, your hand sinking into his wet hair. You need more. You need all of him, in every way.

He hums, and the vibrations melt you, so sensitive that the simple noise makes your thighs clench around his head with a sharp gasp. His hands move to push your legs away, and he dots little kisses to the skin there instead.

“I like your manners,” he says, “but if you want to cum, I need you to tell me why you’re mad at me.”

You pout at the sky, your chest heaving with nerves and arousal and irritation. “I can’t.”

You expect him to argue back, but the next thing you feel are his fingers parting you again, and his lips planting a soft kiss to the swollen bud of your clit. It jolts you, the surprise and the pleasure of it a heady mix, especially when he tickles you with that featherlight brush of his tongue.

“Tell.” Lick. “Me.” Kiss.

He’s a persistent little bastard, you’ll give him that, but your stubbornness is a wonder, too. You let him tease you while you stay radio silent other than some uncontrollable whimpers of pleasure, until he breaks down and suckles your clit into his mouth, hot and wet and full of saliva from his glands watering at the taste of you. Your noises immediately get louder, desperate, pleading.

It’s when he suddenly backs off and just kisses your outer lips chastely, no real intent to please you but still there, that you finally give in, unable to stand the constantly building and waning pressure in your pussy anymore. Your grip in his hair tightens and you cry out in frustration. Feelings and worries be damned; you need to cum.

“Fucking…fine! Who is she?”

Grayson pauses, and leans away from your center. His voice is full of genuine confusion when he speaks up. “Who are you talking about?”

Anger and embarrassment flit through you. You didn't expect this conversation to happen at all, let alone when you’re bottom-less, needy, and having it sexually coerced out of you. But it’s out there now, and you can’t let yourself look even more ridiculous by backtracking. You try to sit up, and thankfully his weight on the end of the float balances out your efforts as you settle back into more of a sitting position with your legs folded to preserve some modesty.

You almost lose it when you gain sight of him again. His lips are shiny from your pussy juices, his thick eyebrows drawn in concern, his shoulders and biceps bulging from how they’re bent on the floatie. All of your biggest weaknesses in one image.

“That girl from the skatepark. Who is she?”

He thinks for a moment more, and his face suddenly lights up with understanding. “Millie? The blonde chick?”

You nod, and your blood boils at the thought of her with a name now. Somehow, ‘mystery girl’ made her less threatening. “She was all over you. I just want to know who she is to you.”

Grayson doesn’t laugh at you. You feel like he should, but of course he doesn’t. He just continues to stare at you with worried eyes.

“She’s a friend visiting from the U.K., and E and I wanted to show her around LA,” he says quietly. “She’s just a friend, I promise.”

The assuredness behind his tone makes you swallow. You duck your gaze to piddle with a leaf that had floated onto your leg when you changed positions, distracting yourself from his intense gaze. It’s now or never, you realize. “I’m just a friend.”

He’s silent again and it’s so fucking nerve-wracking. Grayson is usually so impulsive with his thoughts and his words, and the time he’s taking to soak in everything you’re saying is unnerving. You can only imagine that he’s trying his best to come up with the best way to let you down easy and never speak to you again.

“You… you want more?”

You nod again, biting your lip.

His hand covers yours on your leg, and interlaces your fingers so your palms touch. You finally allow yourself to look at his face again, shocked to see a wide smile on his lips.

“Is it not completely, embarrassingly obvious that I don't want you to be just a friend either? Or a fuckbuddy, or whatever we’ve been doing for this long?” he asks, squeezing your hand as he laughs incredulously. “I’ve been trying to ask you out for weeks. But I just…couldn’t do it outright; I was being selfish. I figured I had you all to myself, even if it was just sex, and didn’t want to scare you away by bringing up the idea of being more.”

You smile brightly and your heart soars, your head spinning at this newfound information. You want to articulate how you’ve had the exact desires and concerns he’s voicing, but your mind is racing too fast to form the words, and all that come’s out is, “Same.”

He bursts into that belly-laugh that makes you giggle too, and you hide your face in your hands with a groan as he ducks back into the water only to reappear at your side a moment later. “Come here,” he says, arms outstretched to help you down.

You clutch his biceps and sink into the cool water with him, immediately wrapping your legs around his waist and drawing him to you for a deep, meaningful kiss. He sighs into your mouth, and chases it with his when you pull back, making you laugh again. The fingers of one hand play with the short hairs at the nape of his neck, the others tugging on his chain. “Does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend now?”

He grins and nods. “Absolutely.”

You watch his face with a smirk when you grind down on his semi in his swim trunks. His eyes darken and he clutches tighter onto your bare ass. “Then I want my boyfriend to fuck me right here, in this pool. Right now.”

He doesn't need more convincing. Grayson groans and latches onto your neck as he starts to walk you both towards the steps of the pool, and you feel his dick grow harder as you squirm against him. When you reach them, he sits on the shallow sundeck above the very top step, keeping you firmly in his lap as your knees settle on the cement beneath the four or so inches of water.

He kisses you, and his fingers slip through your pussy, his touch direct and purposeful now, all thoughts of teasing you gone with the wind.

“Want you to cum first,” he whispers heatedly, two of his thick fingers slipping inside you as his thumb plants itself on your clit. A tried and true method he knows will get you off in no time. “Like I promised.”

His fingers pump steadily and curl into your g-spot, rubbing and thrusting at the perfect tempo to make you hunch into him as you cry out and cum hard on them. Your hips thrust down on his hand, your teeth sinking into the skin of his shoulder to keep yourself quiet, your little whimpers floating into his ear and making him shiver as you come down.

When your thighs stop shaking, he takes his fingers out of you and traces your lips with them, smearing your wetness on them like lipgloss until you open them with a tired, grateful smile and suck his digits into your mouth. You both moan, and once you’ve gotten all of your taste off of his skin, you release them with a pop and work your hands into the waistband of his trunks.

You lower them just enough to get his dick out, hot and hard and heavy in your hand as you give him a few steady strokes before sitting up enough to position him at your entrance. You slide the blunt tip across your slit, settling it at your hole and dipping down just enough to encapsulate the sensitive tip in your wetness, only to drag him up to your clit again with a gasp and a smile. Payback is fair game, you reason, thinking of how much he had teased you earlier.

He growls deep in his chest when you do it again. “Baby, please.”

Baby. That’s new. It makes your body heat with possessiveness and pride and the thought of ‘I’m your’s’ as you finally give in and position his cock where you can sink down on him slowly.

Your hips settle on his lap once again, and you note the concrete already scraping your knees when you start grinding against him. You plant your feet there instead, which makes his eyes light up with excitement.

“Fuck yes,” he breathes, tugging the material of your bikini top aside so both of your tits are out for his viewing pleasure before reclining back on his hands so you can support yourself on his shoulders. His jaw drops open and he moans with you as you start bouncing on his dick, the angle amazing and the depth he reaches even better. You pick up the pace, and his teeth grit together with a hiss. “God, your pussy’s so fucking tight.”

His eyes are glued to the way your tits jiggle and sway with your movements, and he leans forward to capture one of your nipples in his warm mouth. You clutch his head partly for leverage and partly to just keep the suction on your sensitive breast, and throw your head back to bask in the sun and the overwhelming pleasure oozing through your body.

Eventually, your legs start to tire, and you drop your knees back into the water with two little splashes so you can grind on him again. You tug his hair to pull him off your chest, looking deep in his eyes before dragging him into a fiery kiss, your tongues dueling and lips smacking sloppily.

“Gray,” you whimper against his mouth, begging for more. More, more, more. This man, in all his beauty, is yours, and you want all of him.

He understands, urging you off of him and standing as he turns you to lay back in the shallow water. He takes advantage of being stood up to tug his swimsuit off the rest of the way, reaching down to do the same to your top and tosses both scraps of fabric onto the ground.

You recline back on your elbows and admire the way his dick stands tall and proud and shining with your juices. The way he looks down at you makes you feel sensual and pretty in the bright light of day, long hair swirling in the water around you, your body glistening in both elements as well. One of your hands travels down to your swollen pussy as you bite your lip and stare up at him as he moves above you. The sundeck is a big circle, and he pushes you further away from the steps so he can crawl over you and have plenty of room to lay you back with an arm pillowed under your head to keep it above the water.

Grayson hooks an elbow under one of your knees and sinks back into you with an easy thrust, your back arching as a whimper of his name breaks past your lips. His mouth finds your neck, and he sucks and nibbles the delicate skin there as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. The coolness of the water encompasses your back, contrasting with the heat of his body and the afternoon sun, and you wrap one arm around his shoulders while the other wedges between your bodies so your fingers can find your clit again.

“You’re so big,” you mewl into his ear, circling faster as his hips thrust harder. He loves when you talk him up like this, and you’re happy to do it, especially because everything you say to him is true. Your nails drag across his golden skin, leaving bright red welts in their wake and eliciting a loud groan from him as he tugs on your earlobe with his teeth in return. “So fuckin’ big, filling me up so good, baby.”

The pet name slips easily from your lips now, too. He grunts and pulls his head back to look into your eyes, and you melt at the pure lust and affection you see in his darkened orbs. His thrusts are now impossibly deep, jolting your body with each one as he brings you rapidly to the peak of your orgasm with his steady pace.

“You’re mine, Gray,” you whisper brokenly, your breaths getting knocked out of you as he fucks you hard and perfect. The realization and just saying the words out loud pushes you over the edge, eyes rolling back, your fingers faltering on your clit as your pussy flutters and spasms around his thick cock. “Oh my god, I’m cumming!”

Grayson moans loudly, and fucks you hard and sloppy for a few more beats until he’s right there with you, shooting inside you with whimpers of your name and boyish whines that you want to listen to on repeat forever.

His head falls onto your heaving chest as he comes down, and you hug him to you with a happy, satisfied grin on your lips. You feel weightless in a physical sense from the water and the high you’re still riding, but also emotionally as you grasp the reality of the shift in your relationship with this man. He is yours. He has been yours, even if neither of you were able to put a finger on it until now.

He sits up with a groan, and meets your grin with his own crooked smile before dipping his head down to kiss you softly.

“You’re mine, too.”

“Good.” You hum and smile bigger. “Now that we’ve got that settled, can we talk about growing your hair out again?”

#dolan twins #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #grayson dolan smut #dolan twins fanfic #grayson dolan fic

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project-paranoia · 3 years ago

Text

Live Watch: S.C.I. Mystery Episode One

I enjoy camp because I've always enjoyed analysis and examination. I enjoy looking at something from all sides, testing it with my fingertips. When I was a child I would sit for hours just looking at something until I had it all held in my mind and I felt like I understood it. Camp necessitates that understanding the way that imitation and - good - parody requires it. To quote Susan Sontag - who articulated what camp is so well - Camp is "a sensibility that revels in artifice, stylisation, theatricalisation, irony, playfulness, and exaggeration rather than content." Because of this camp takes on head to head gender, sexuality, expectations, any sort of defined norm and sequins it up then shakes it down until understanding comes out. When understanding something there are three major ways to work your investigation - what it is, what it's imitation is - the close but not quite, and what it isn't. Camp handles all three, to quote again: "Camp sees everything in quotation marks. It's not a lamp, but a 'lamp; not a woman, but a 'woman.'"

Why are we talking about camp? Because SCI Mystery is some of the best kind of camp outside of drag or screaming about wire hangers. It deals a lot with mental illness in a way that would destroy a serious show, but in this one "mental illness" is a metaphor for being marginalised and a way to talk about the mouse and cat in the room. This show is about being queer. About being gay loudly and quietly, about resisting specific labels and needing them, about the threat of a cure and the blessing of acceptance. All the messy realities of queer life as varied as queer people. Like Lil Nas X's Montero, you can appreciate the effort without being comfortable with it. While the show's allegory of mental illness when many queer people are still told they are ill is done well and there is reason to the choices and tone, things are said which can be hard to hear. Knowing they're there because they're hard to hear and have been heard doesn't help everyone.

With all that said, it's also a fun, silly bl drama. Don't let the analysis scare you off. While the information about camp can be something to be aware of, all this show requires to be enjoyed is a willingness to be amused and spooked in turns.

You know the drill, spoilers below!

* I have memorised the youku sound, I have a triggered response with it. Not all triggers are bad, this one reminds me of Guardian

* Welcome to episode one where we just leap in! But don't worry, one of them has a cute earring and they are colour coordinated.

* Watching from youtube the episode is 38 minutes long while most of the others are 45. Attach whatever emotion you want to that fact.

* The exposition is handily delivered by asking a question which tells us some things, thank you show, I appreciate it

* First episode and he's already giving his partner an in case I don't come back letter to be opened if he dies

* Wait for me!~ Go!~~

* Slow walk with dramatic music: 1 (don't make this a drinking game You Will Expire) this time with bonus almost looking back

* I've seen a similar shot on Hawaii Five O

* Don't explain what's happening, just knock everything over with a jump kick in some absolutely spotless white tennies

* Running with dramatic music with bonus looking back: Does it count? We have yet to hear back from the judges

* They leap into the water with an explosion behind them, we are less than 2 minutes in and I love that for them

* At first I thought the boats were making a big heart before I remembered that I am very silly and they are not doing that

* This one is going to be long

* I can see his pockets through his trousers, why are his trousers so thin?

* It's not kissing to dramatic music in the surf if it's CPR

* Each story line has its own intro and that's very sexy of them

* Slow walk/dramatic music: 2-6

* These people are totally goofy and and yet the Seriousness

* Two Weeks Ago!

* The police school bus has arrived to shoo away the crows circling around Dr. Zhan staring (dramatically) at the body

* Sport scar policeman dresses even more unprofessionally than Zhao Yunlan who at least looks like a detective who was jumped by so many criminals he just gave up wearing a suit and went for jeans. Chief Bai's clothes are so thin, I'm under constant anxiety someone is going to tear them off.

* Also several of the cast pictures on MyDramaList look like the pictures your auntie insists taking to send to your other aunties and I love that for them

* Triple axil spin from the victim, the judges are loving it - this is the camp I'm here for

* The dramatic slo mo and music budget for this show was so big, just as it should be

* He's mad because he's angy

* Master Psychiatrist can tell all about the killer from crouching by the body, it's a trope and this is one of the few places I like it because it serves the show instead of the show serving it

* When you're almost boyfriend is going away for reasons and it's not your decision but you can't go with him because of your job so you're just low key bitter about it

* "You can't control me"

* The pettiness between these two

* Professional women who worked hard to get where they are still are constantly obsessed with boys according to most cdramas

*The male posturing in those three second has accidentally circled back around to being gay in the way those bro shows accidentally do and I love that

* I live for this 80s-90s police chief perm

* The Pettiness

* I always tend to like doctor characters, I don't know why. Even when they aren't my favourites I like them.

* She's kind of adorable, I like her (I've seen a lot of this show and every time I say I like someone it ends badly ;-; )

* "the victems"

* If you love Creative English, this is the show for you!

* Chief Bai's crew is trying so hard to get them back together

* Dr. Zhan is so good at psychology he can tell what someone looks like from some tire tracks - this trope is used all the time in crime shows, but they push it a little farther in SCI and it really helps the viewer know what the rules for the show are

* The scene in the psychiatrist's office hearkens back to queer coded villains and the way they're treated in old black and white horror cinema - but done so artfully it's almost invisible. It's incredibly well done, and the awareness of tropes and types all throughout the series is tremendously successful as much as it's campy fun.

* There's also the trope of someone who manipulates someone into feeling like they've been "purified" and then weaponises them against the "filthy". And of course the fact that the killer's blade is a mirror - that he's killing in others what he sees in himself. This trope hasn't just been queer-coded but has been applied to any sort of physical or mental disorder. Thesis have been written about this trope and the anxiety attached to it. I can't write them better and this is long enough, it's just a small part of the excellent handling of the themes showing up in this genre and I wanted to point it out because it deserves appreciation for the skill and knowledge in the writing.

* The whole you need evidence vs you're saying psychoanalysis isn't trustworthy feels very much like a coded angry exes discussion

* I love the establishing shots, so good

* He kind of deserved that door to the face, what was he even doing

* Police violence in crime shows is supposed to be a release for the viewer, but many countries have issues with police violence so it hits wrong. Here it's far more performative in a way that at least has some awareness

* The weirdest phone call, you call someone to tell them something important and they say two things to you and hang up

* The tongue thing, why always the tongue thing?

* When a serial killer tries to compliment you by calling you a carnivore and you shut down the whole alpha male supposition by calling yourself a vegetarian

* At this point I've written almost fifteen hundred words and taken almost two hours to watch 23 minutes

* This is my life, these are my choices

* Dutch Angles

* You could make this conversation about being gay, I have had this conversation about homosexuality before

* Unfortunately while I had it I was on the bus trapped in a window seat

* The conversation didn't end with me saying something cool and everyone clapping

* They just got off the bus to go to work

* The banality of evil, yo

* Her shorts are Incredibly Short, good for her

* "arrest the perp behind my back" that's his job, broheim

* He doesn't ask why she checked behind their ears

* DUN dun dun!

* Slo mo file drop, and of course the file is blood stained and aged

* Chalk Art of Doom

* Chinese word play!

* Caught almost putting his coat over his crush, embarrassing XD

* Backstory!

* I love all the little character details, I could quote lines I think are funny all day but that would start getting silly

* Bai Yu Tong is marked as clean and having OCD but we don't see what's apparently a huge character trait at all other than the all white, do love that he's good at cooking

* Dr. Zhan: Brilliant! Genius! Cannot feed himself.

* Dr. Gong has indifference level 100% which is true and also I love that for him

* I love that Wang Shao part of the team because he's good at making friends, I love that for him

* Poor Zhao Fu: scared of ghosts and dumb and sweet? At least he has an 8 pack

* Jiang Lin is very tropey except the mention of her nearsightedness

* Ma Han's height 1.7m and legs 1.8m is hilarious and I love it

* I stopped recording the slo mo walks, but if you were drinking along with them you might be dead so I really appreciate you taking time out of your afterlife to continue reading. We appreciate all our ghost readers

* And that's the first episode! Thanks for making it to the end!

#SCI Mystery #SCI谜案集 #watchthrough #let's watch

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gureishi · 4 years ago

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day 9: want to be a human again

Here’s day 9 of the Human Again prompts. For the master list of all the ficlets, click here.

SaeyoungXReader (also Jumin, Saeran, and—finally—VANDY!!!)

T (references to cannon death and violence [post-SE]), words: 2539

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

There’s a distinct air of death in the apartment.

Maybe it’s in your imagination, because you know that the man who once lived here has died. Maybe it’s in the photographs stacked against the walls—the ones he never sold, the ones no one ever saw while he was alive. There’s a kind of darkness there that surprises you; it’s hard to take your eyes off them.

Or maybe it’s the feelings radiating from the two people beside you—people who knew him far better than you ever did, people who deeply loved him.

“Hyung, why did you want me to come here?” Saeyoung’s voice comes out a little too loud, and a little too harsh, and he clears his throat.

“I found something you need to see,” Jumin says. He sounds uncharacteristically cautious. “It’s up to you if you want to—act on this in any way, but I thought it was only right that you see it, regardless.”

Saeyoung tenses up beside you. It’s not the first time that you’ve been to V’s apartment since his death, but it’s been months since Saeyoung and Jumin finished their cursory sorting of the things that remained here. Since the apartment was left to Rika, who was—for numerous reasons—unable to make a decision about it, no one knew quite what to do about it. It was left more or less untouched—though Jumin, it seems, has been returning periodically to go through the stacks and stacks of documents filed neatly in and around V’s desk.

Saeyoung doesn’t say anything, and you bump gently against his side; he interlaces his fingers with yours. You can feel his trepidation in the stiff way he’s standing and the tight grip he has on your hand.

Without any further preamble, Jumin hands Saeyoung a folder. It’s plain, with “Luciel” written across the front in a delicate scrawl that you can only assume is V’s.

Saeyoung grits his teeth and opens the folder. Realization seems to dawn on him immediately.

“This is…”

“Yes.”

Saeyoung tilts the folder toward you so you can see better, and he rifles quickly through the pages, as if he doesn’t want to look at anything too closely. There are printed-out emails and grainy photos and old news articles; one name stands out amidst it all: Choi Saejoong.

“It seems V was putting together evidence that would incriminate him,” Jumin says in a quiet voice. There is a surprising and unfamiliar gentleness in the way he’s speaking to Saeyoung.

Saeyoung shakes his head. You can feel him consciously slowing his breathing, using the techniques he’s been taught to stay calm under pressure. Still, his hand trembles a little in yours. “Why didn’t he—why didn’t he ever…?”

“This is only speculation,” Jumin says, in that same soft tone. “I imagine he was conflicted about taking any action that might go against Rika’s wishes or—”

“—or implicate her in any way,” Saeyoung finishes, his voice rough. He sets the folder aside and runs a hand over his face. Suddenly, he looks exhausted, beaten down—the way you remember him looking so often in the days and weeks following V’s death.

“Yes.” Jumin nods slowly. “This information is meant for you, not for me. But I did look through it to a certain extent and—for what it’s worth, the documents go all the way up to a few weeks before Jihyun died.”

Saeyoung inhales sharply.

“At any rate, I leave it entirely up to you what you wish to you with this information. If you were to choose to hold onto it or throw it away, I would understand.” Jumin hesitates. He looks down, and then he looks up at Saeyoung. You notice a hardened, confident look in Jumin’s eyes, one you’re sure has earned him the respect of important decision-makers around the world. “On the other hand,” he continues, “if you choose to—disclose this information—I, and C&R, would be behind you.”

Saeyoung is looking at Jumin, and Jumin’s gaze doesn’t waver. Their relationship is strange, you think—though you know Saeyoung has a great deal of respect and admiration for Jumin, he’s rarely relied on him, rarely asked anything of him. Saeyoung, you think, still sees Jumin as V’s best friend, above all else—and naturally, that’s complicated.

Slowly, Saeyoung nods. “I have to think about it,” he says, his voice a little raw. “I have to talk to—”

“Of course.” Jumin moves away a little, straightening his coat. He’s back to normal: brisk, formal. But there was genuine care in the way that he spoke to Saeyoung about the documents, and you’re certain that, beneath it all, Jumin has a fierce love for the RFA—for Saeyoung.

“Thank you, Jumin,” you say. He looks at you with surprise.

“Of course,” he says. “This was never my decision to make. And—” He glances at Saeyoung, who is still staring at the folder in his hands. He looks like he’s far away. “No matter what you decide to do, you should know that—” For a moment, uncertainty flashes in Jumin’s dark eyes, and then they are clear again. “Jihyun was always wishing for your freedom,” he finishes.

Saeyoung doesn’t look up, but his grip on the folder tightens. You know that he wouldn’t ever cry in front of Jumin, never in this room, amidst V’s carefully chosen furniture and piled-up old photographs. But he nods.

“Thanks, hyung,” he whispers. You’re not sure if he’s addressing Jumin or the other man, the one whose presence still seems to fill every corner of this apartment. Maybe it’s both.

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

The security system activates.

You drop the manual for the expensive espresso machine you’ve finally decided to learn how to use and peer around the corner at the cameras. You catch a glimpse of a familiar disgruntled face before the doors swing open.

“Vanderwood!” You swiftly cross the bunker to meet them at the door. They’re standing at the threshold, an annoyed expression on their face, an Arabic dictionary in one hand.

“You haven’t gotten tired of him yet, huh?” Vanderwood asks by way of greeting. You beam at them.

“Neither have you,” you reply. Vanderwood grunts and kicks off their shoes. You notice they take a moment to line up not only their own but all the shoes that are lying in a jumbled mess by the door.

“Madam!!!” Saeyoung comes barreling around the corner, tries to skid to a stop, catches himself on the coat rack, and somehow manages to stay upright as coats and scarves cascade to the floor around him.

Vanderwood groans. “I can still leave. It’s not too late for me to just go,” they say, shooting Saeyoung what can only be called a death glare.

“Saeyoung!” You pick up one of the coats and he shoots you a grateful look. Then you smack him with it. “Don't act like an ass just because Vanderwood is here.”

Saeyoung collapses dramatically into his pile of coats.

There’s a quiet chuckle behind you, and Saeran crosses the entryway, peering at the scene with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

“Hey, little Choi,” says Vanderwood, stepping over the pile of coats-and-Saeyoung to shake Saeran’s hand.

“Hey, weird agent guy,” says Saeran.

“Don’t ignore me!” cries Saeyoung. You throw a scarf at him.

Vanderwood follows Saeran into the living room; they are chatting quietly together. You hear Vanderwood’s barking laugh, and you smile to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them, but they haven’t changed. They can complain about Saeyoung all they want, but you’ve learned to see right through it: when Saeyoung calls, they show up.

You bend over to peer at your fiancé, who has thrown a coat over his eyes and is loudly pretending to sob. You kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you but if you act like a lunatic I’ll let him tase you.”

Saeyoung runs a hand through his already-messy curls. “I’ll be good,” he says, puckering his lips for a kiss. You roll your eyes and offer him a hand instead; he scrambles to his feet and then darts forward to kiss your eyebrow.

“Do your best,” you say, pulling him by the hand. He follows obediently.

In the living room, Vanderwood and Saeran are already peering at something on Saeran’s laptop. Vanderwood has somehow produced three other computers, which are all open and humming, running some mysterious program or other. Over a year ago, this would’ve been a strange sight to you; nowadays, you are unfazed

Vanderwood glances up at Saeyoung, who is trailing behind you like an acquiescent child.

“Glad to see you’ve still got him under control,” they say. You give them a salute.

“Just doing my job,” you reply. “Sit,” you say to Saeyoung, and he obligingly takes a seat on the couch. Vanderwood barks with laughter again.

“Wish I’d had you around years ago,” they say, shaking their head.

“Me too!” Saeyoung sings, pulling you into his lap and nuzzling his head against your neck.

“I take it back,” Vanderwood groans.

“I swear he’s a little more normal when you’re not here,” Saeran says, his attention on one of the laptops.

“It’s true! I just get extra excited when my favorite maid is here!” Saeyoung bounces, making the couch shake.

“Why me?” Vanderwood mutters, just loud enough for Saeyoung to hear.

You scramble out of Saeyoung’s lap. “Saeyoung, act regular. Vanderwood, do you want coffee?”

“Please.”

You ruffle Saeyoung’s hair (it’s really all over the place today) and make your way to the kitchen. Leaving the three of them to stare at the laptops (now there are, inexplicably, eight), you return to your espresso machine manual.

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

When you return to the living room, the three of them are talking in hushed, serious tones.

“Wow,” Vanderwood says as you hand them the latte you've (finally) figured out how to make. “Seven-Zero-Seven has an espresso machine now?”

Saeyoung shrugs. He’s more subdued now, his eyes on one of the computer screens.

“She wanted it, so I got it,” he says offhandedly.

“Seriously, spending time here is almost bearable now.” Vanderwood gratefully accepts the drink from you and you slip back onto the couch beside Saeyoung, peering at his screen. You know what they’re doing, in theory, though the numbers on the computer mean nothing to you.

“This feels too easy,” Saeran says. He’s hunched over another computer, sitting cross-legged on the floor. The now-familiar files from V’s apartment are strewn around him on the ground.

“It is easy,” Vanderwood replies. “Taking down bigwig types? This is—was—literally our job.”

Saeyoung vaguely nods. He’s fiddling with the frayed hem of his sweatshirt. “Actually putting it all out there is no problem. If he had any leverage against us, that’d be one thing. But now, with no agency, no Mint Eye…” Saeran flinches. “…he’s got nothing on us. Actually doing the job isn’t the part I’m worried about.”

Vanderwood leans back on the couch, stretching. “If you’re so worried about the whole world knowing about all this, why’re we doing it?” they ask. “Seems like he’s basically given up tracking the two of you down. You could’ve waited it out. You’re safe in this crazy bunker-house.”

For a moment, it’s quiet. The twins look at each other. Saeran looks down.

“I spent a long time under the ‘protection’ of people who said I’d be safe. It didn’t end great,” he spits out bitterly. Saeyoung twitches, as if he almost went to his brother’s side but thought better of it. You nudge him with your shoulder and he leans into you just a little, sighing.

“I do have mixed feelings about this all being in the open,” Saeyoung says. “He deserves whatever he gets, but—”

“—we’re doing exactly what he always said we would do,” Saeran finishes. “I hate that.” His red hair, softer and thinner than Saeyoung’s, hangs over his face, casting his eyes into shadow.

“Listen, we destroyed lives of people who deserved it a whole lot less,” Vanderwood cuts in, looking back and forth between the twins. “This guy is—from what I read, he’s a real monster.”

“I don’t even care about that part anymore,” Saeran mutters. For once, he’s just wearing a t-shirt, and the bottom-half of his tattoo is visible, peeking out from under his sleeve.

“Yeah,” Saeyoung adds, his attention on his twin. “It’s not a vengeance thing. And I mean—you’re right. We could live underground like this forever, and probably be safe from him as long as we don’t try to go out in the world or use our real names or anything.”

Saeran nods slowly. You notice that your shoulders have tensed up, and you try to focus on releasing them. If it were up to you, you’d have made chasing down and punishing the twins’ dad first priority. But—as Jumin said—it’s not up to you.

Saeyoung peeks at you out of the corner of his eye and you know he’s reading your thoughts on your face. He turns back to Vanderwood.

“I still want to do it, though,” he says firmly. “Because…I want to move someplace where we can have windows. And an even bigger garden. I want my fiancé to be able to have friends over without them almost getting bombed by my stupid security system. I want to use my real name when I get married. I want…” He clears his throat a little awkwardly. Vanderwood watches him intensely, unblinking. “I want to live like a human being,” he finishes.

No one says anything. Saeran is still looking down at the carpet. Vanderwood taps a finger thoughtfully on the table. If anybody understands what Saeyoung means, you think, it’s Vanderwood.

Agents can’t have families, they told you once, when the four of you—the same four of you that are sitting around in your warm and well-lit living room right now, you realize with a jolt—were holed up in the middle of nowhere, hurt, misled, in the midst of a war. Agents don’t get names, or friends, or things they like and dislike. That’s just not part of it.

One of the laptops beeps, breaking the silence. “It’s ready,” Vanderwood says softly. “Just say the word and it’s done.”

You look at Saeyoung, who looks at Saeran. Saeran stares at the floor for a long moment; finally, he looks back at his brother, and his mint eyes are clear and sure.

“Do it,” he says.

Saeyoung grabs your hand and squeezes it and, without hesitation, Vanderwood hits a key. The computer hums.

“There’s no guarantee—“ they say, as if the twins don’t already know.

“Whatever happens, we can handle it,” Saeyoung says decisively. He stands and stretches, and then he puts a hand on Vanderwood’s shoulder; Vanderwood flinches as if expecting an electric shock. “Don’t freak,” Saeyoung says, with a lopsided smile. “I just—um. Thanks.”

Vanderwood doesn’t meet his eyes, but you swear you see the corners of their mouth twitch upward.

“Nah, you were right,” Vanderwood says. “It’s time we all started living like human beings.”

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jerichomere · 3 years ago

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MBS EPISODE EIGHHHHT

weak. I hate to say it but I could feel it in my heart from the start. It had good moments but this episode just didn’t bring it home. I’m going to break this up into my usual notes and then some general evaluation. Notes: What is the deal with curtain and food? He has so many weird scenes with meals.. there’s probably some hidden meaning here but I don’t know what it is And they didn’t get to chuck-root the school :((((( Constance? Wants to pour acid on curtain’s feet Haha I liked Kate’s little “Nyoope” when the recruiters found her Martina redemption and the fighting tetherball team, sure Jackson and Jillson get even more unhinged. they terrify me We got Kate yeeting Constance up the tower, but her bucket had a built in rope motor somehow WE GOT KATIE-KAT but we didn’t get Sorry it took me so long And Milligan’s still moody instead of joyous Go Constance, break the thing, yay Number Two and Rhonda had some real shippy energy in this episode and PLEASE they are SISTERS Two more close profile shots of curtain in this episode, one where he is physically shorter than Milligan but dominating the interaction, and one where he’s physically looking down at Reynie but Reynie’s getting to him. Reynie has a heart to heart and curtain passes out. That’s different. Sticky even said, “it’s anger” and he was like “no, it’s vulnerability” oooooookay then. The whisperer is not an intercom/loudspeaker. sheesh. So the kiddos leave and the twins talk, resolving nothing, then curtain escapes REYNIE AND MISS PERUMAL NO COMPLAINTS HERE *sobs* Kate and Madge at the end <3 Constance refuses adoption!?!?!?!??! And no age reveal obviously rip Sticky’s family redemption he’s going to the totally not made up Boatwright Academy now Mr Benedict is like, I love you all, no snowball fight, the end. SIKE Curtain, SQ, and a totally real engineer lady are on a BOAT. You know, I felt bad for the engineer this whole series, as she is portrayed as kind of doing the technical work hoping it’ll be used for good, while curtain abuses its practical application, but her mood really shifted in that last scene. She was like heheh hey guy that I know is definitely is evil, howabout this mysterious blueprint... are they really trying to set up the sequel. Some tree branches will have to get pretttty bent.

Evaluation: keep reading! (sorry it gets long)

To recap what I’ve said from the start, I think the casting is fantastic but the tone is wrong. The darker, more saturated filter, the isolating camera shots, and very understated music make things colder and stilted. This is a constant throughout the whole series. The book was warm, messy, and full of charm, which I didn’t feel watching the show.

characters were.. compromised? Mr B starts off with a LIE about test winners going to Boatwright Academy. That undermines EVERYTHING he does from then on. “Regrettable but necessary” DOESN’T cut it. He’s also just so anxious and jittery instead of his gentile, kind, strong book self. Just from the show, they didn’t frame his genius very well. He seems more like a fool. Not really confidence-inspiring. In the same way, Being directed to cheat is one thing, but Reynie should NOT have lied to SQ to manipulate him into seeing the forest or whatever. Yeah reynie felt bad about it and SQ called him on it, but this is like the core values of our protagonist team, the strong love for truth. Also, I feel like in the show Reynie’s leadership isn’t highlighted. Like, everyone else has their thing but you almost wonder why he’s framed as the main character. The girls got bonding and the boys got bonding but there was hardly opportunity for him to really bring the team together into a cohesive unit Also, as much as I love Number Two’s life of crime (because it’s funny), she too should have that love of truth, but instead regularly does unlawful things. AND they never explained her eating, and even stopped having yellow clothes :( Additionally, the side story of her and Rhonda’s friction (entertaining I suppose) also really changed the character dynamic. In the book, the adult team was unwavering and wise, a sturdy basis for the perilous missions of the children. But their internal strife, while adding drama, makes them seem unreliable and less absolutely good and trustworthy. And I think trust and integrity are key parts of the book’s solid narrative. Constance’s refusal of the adoption felt wrong too. She was like, “Respectfully decline, but. I’ll stick around here.” I think they were trying to keep going with her contrariness, but it just comes across as foolish pride? Constance is a LITTLE GIRL. She DESERVES a FAMILY. SHE DESERVES A LOVING PARENT (and two wonderful sisters). Yeah family doesn’t have to be by blood OR lawful paperwork, but her actions in this scene really just. cuts off the feels at the knees. We KNOW she’s strong and independent but that doesn’t mean she HAS TO BE or even necessarily WANTS to be all the time. Over the course of the series we see her warming up to people, a kind word here, a little smile there, but this adoption refusal is.. harsh. Then we’ve got Sticky. Yes, he struggles with the comfort of the whisperer. And he overcomes it. BUT in one of the earlier episodes, they had him fighting with the team, defending the whisperer, dismissing his friends... and I count this as betrayal. It may be extreme on my part, but I think he went too far. The Society is the Society. In the book he bested his fears for them and with their support. Yeah he desperately wanted to just give in but he had PRINCIPLES and knew why he couldn’t. His honor, his responsibility to stop curtain, and his loyalty to his friends got him though. But in the show he just dumped them. And then was like, oh oops jk I’m back. (I knowwwwww the book has the privilege of being able to explain characters’ thought processes and emotional states, while shows have to work with more tangible actions and words but stilll I did not Like That) And finally, curtain wasn’t smart. He had hired people doing all the work. He just used it to his ends. Less evil genius and more manipulating creep. But this? I’m more ok with. As an villain, he got the job done. But this makes him less of a foil for Mr Benedict and more of an antagonist, if that makes sense. In the book they never knew each other, but were both alone in the world and greatly smart, and they chose verrry different paths. Whereas in the show he and B were always kind of opposites, warring in motivation and method from the start.

Let’s talk about the boss battle (such as it was). I said it was weak and I meant it. The book is heart pounding. There is so much going on, and so many people in play, the narration jumping all over the place in real time, all culminating in that clash at the top of the tower. Now, the show... the highs weren’t the highs. It felt more like checking off story points. Kate and constance outside - check. Resist the whisperer to stall for time - check. Milligan reveal - check. Reynie starting to figure out narcolepsy triggers - check. Constance shouting then you are the greatest fool of all - um, no, that didn’t happen. Constance defeating the whisperer - check. Curtain escapes - check. We got zero action. No good fights. I know Emmy Deoliveira is a kid and I’m not mad at her for not being able to do action sequences or run with Constance piggyback. But there was almost no physical conflict on-screen, and that’s Kate’s real time to shine. Also they had Number two and Rhonda in the tower ready to fight and then they just didn’t. All this build up for nothing. Furthermore, and I think this is the biggest problem, there was no momentum. Yeah they cut from scene to scene, but the music and tone cut scene-to-scene too. So there was like, dramatic music, Kate’s ready to fight! Get hyped! and then cut to absolutely silent, mr curtain staring at someone. feel mildly disturbed. and then cut to Rhonda and Number two being friends and ready to fight! Aww! And yay! Get hyped! And then cut back to Sticky sitting in a chair, dead silent. It goes on like this. The music, the urgency, should have carried throughout, building in intensity and desperation as the kids come together and curtain unravels more and more and then BAM! curtain down and OH NO! the whisperer and finally Constance’s “I... DON”T.... CARE!!!” and then the madcap escape from the island. Watching, I just couldn’t get swept away. Storywise, they tied it all up and logically it made sense but the emotional culmination just wasn’t there. It was over and done too quick. It fell flat. I didn’t feel the struggle, the suspense. And then they gave us a fabricated Mr B and Curtain conversation that didn’t really help anything. And then the falling action had some nice moments but as I mentioned, the things with constance and sticky kind of made it feel less relieving, joyful, and sweet. I know a snowball fight is elaborate to set and film but I would have loved to see it.

Final thoughts I can’t help but love the kids. I’ll say it again, I sure liked this casting. And for all the changes they had to make, the original central plot was there, and most of the characters were recognizable even with all the alterations. So I did have problems with some of that underlying integrity, as well as the overall tone and execution, but I also laughed at the little funny things, jammed to the title theme, and was excited to see this, my favorite book in the world, get more recognition. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to adapt a work of prose into an audiovisual medium, and considering how outlandish the book sometimes got, they gave it their best shot. I didn’t love it but I can recognize the accomplishment. In terms of faithful and well-made adaptations, on a scale of Percy Jackson to Harry Potter, I’d give The Mysterious Benedict Society a 6.5/10.

#mbs #The Mysterious Benedict Society

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queenerdloser · 4 years ago

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okay i finally (finally!) finished gr*duation after what felt like three hundred years and i have many thoughts that i just.. want to get down to process my own very VERY mixed feelings on this season

overall it was a fun romp at the end with some highly enjoyable goofs. i enjoy fitz maplecourt so much & relished griffin being able to do a character. the firbolg lives in my heart. argo is great.

that said, the plot was, overall, messy as shit, considering at the end i still had very little clear idea of a) what exactly order/chaos wanted to achieve and b) why the fuck they were even doing what they were doing. we spent all that time on a hog heist that, in the end, had... very little to do with what was going on at the time. (would the narrative have been significantly changed without the hog heist? if, instead, hog hadn’t responded due to their internal greed/indifference - something that’s already been established in world and isn’t a stretch to imagine - and thus had the exact same ramifications and end result as the heist gave us? like don’t get me wrong, the heist has some of my favorite goofs in it, but it’s essentially like six episodes of nonsense that, in the end, has almost nothing to do with the main plot & whose end goal could have been summed up in the finale.) the whiplash of suddenly taking gray on as an ally to we’re heisting hog for reasons to actually the real threat was the demons at the castle attacking now for reasons is... bad plot. (look at how many times i have to say ‘reasons’ bc there’s no real in-universe or external force that explains why something is happening at that specific time.)

i haven’t listened to the final ttazz about grad but it kind of felt like travis just gave up on his narrative arc and this sloppy plot mess is what we have left. like, okay order/chaos is a cool concept but what were they actually trying to achieve? why could order just be booted out of their shared body and why didn’t they just do that instead of having that whole climatic battle? why both using fitzroy at all for anything if they could always just take over the world with demons? why did we have all these characters allied together if in the end we were going to op the three pc and have them fight basically one-on-one with order? why did the commodore suddenly and inexplicably switch sides after working with the boys literally like three episodes ago other than to shoehorn in a conclusion to argo’s arc that, ultimately, fell short bc it was so utterly anti-climatic?

and like!!! maybe some of these questions were answered but none of them to an extent that felt grounded enough in the narrative that they made sense, lingered, or didn’t feel like a macguffin to cover a sudden plot twist or plot hole. a lot of plot felt sacrificed for cool concepts and fun character twists and i get that, but when all you have is cool concepts and fun character twists, there’s no real foundation for it to rest on.

i AM going to compare to amnesty bc i do think amnesty is the strongest arc plot-wise of the three major seasons of taz. balance recovers in the back half but the first three parts are very loosely connected to the major plot and then there’s that huge info dump in crystal kingdom so like - it’s also messy there, even though it manages to make it work in a way that graduation doesn’t. but amnesty is tightly plotted from the beginning - there’s a clear trajectory, foreshadowing built in, characters have actual arcs that make sense, most of the major villains and antagonists have motivations that make sense and even the act three twist is something that’s reasonably built in from the beginning. even if it wasn’t ALL planned (such as billy the goat’s involvement) it’s clear that new elements were worked into an already existing framework with an eye towards cohesiveness. i know people complain about the main three not being “together” enough or “friendly” enough with each other (as if that’s all that matters in a good story lmao) but i also think that amnesty has the strongest character arcs of the three seasons because we do see all three major characters start in one place and end up somewhere radically different, make movements in cohesive and reasonable ways, and change in a way that is not off-the-wall or just for a fun twist.

graduation... doesn’t really do that. the main three are a fun time but in the epilogue i was genuinely struggling to get why fitz decided to suddenly be a lawyer or why the firbolg, who has never shown any interest in having a name before that moment (quite the opposite, really) is suddenly emotional over having a name. argo, who has spent all of his time honoring his mother, decides to... run a cruise ship? and even leaving aside the epilogues, these characters... don’t really have an arc. argo is the closest and even his emotional narrative falls flat bc the commodore’s ending is so anti-climatic and bc, other than the trial scene, he and the commodore largely don’t interact. if the commodore had played a larger part in the actual narrative maybe it would have felt less like an aborted attempt at an arc but. he didn’t. fitz also has an attempt at an arc but it also falls flat bc so much of fitz has remained unchanged from when we first meet him. he’s a little more empathetic and better at magic, but how has fitz really changed since the first episode?

(tangent: thinking again about justin having to ask why the firbolg was doing what he was doing during that whole dog-is-the-headmaster reveal portion, to the point of asking travis point-blank why his character was doing the things he was doing. thinking again of how travis just told the boys point-blank that this side character they couldn’t even remember the name of was their best friend. and then again about how that “best friend” just like... fucking disappeared from the narrative after that, never to be seen or heard from again until the epilogue twenty episodes later for two brief seconds. in fact pretty much every character except rainier just disappears from the narrative at a certain point and i’m pretty sure it’s in reaction to the complaints about the numerous characters - but the answer to those complaints wasn’t to just mysteriously cut everyone else from the narrative without warning or reason laksfsafjlfj. what happened to that one villain posh guy from the first episodes???? what about the accounting owl teacher??????)

this is just my rambly processing of grad bc i’m trying to figure out what about it fell so dramatically flat for me that it was a literal slog to get through most of it even though i found the characters themselves delightful and enjoyed the mcelroy goofs as much as ever. and i think the thing is... for some listeners, the most important thing is going to be the interaction with the players or the goofs or how friendly and found family-ish the main group is with each other. which is great and fine! but for me, a good story or good character arcs or something well thought-out and plotted out is always going to be more engaging, no matter how much i like the found family or how much i like the goofs. it’s why i struggled to get why people complained so bitterly about amnesty - who cares if the main three are always together or getting along really well or being friends if they’re having interesting, satisfying character arcs and personal growth set in an interesting, dynamic plot? in graduation, that foundation is just missing and i’m sure part of it was due to the unnecessarily vitriolic backlash against travis (that’s enough to steal anyone’s thunder) but also just like... an underdeveloped plot in an overdeveloped world, a trap so many authors have fallen into. (like travis can describe in minute detail the inner workings of hog that are only applicable for about five episodes but chaos/order’s motivations are largely handwaved despite them being the central antagonists for the entire season.)

anyway. once again, great goofs. i would die for fitzroy maplecourt. but i can’t imagine ever listening to the whole thing again or even more than a couple of episodes here or there (ironically of the hog heist, which, despite how unnecessary it was, was a fun romp and had some of my favorite moments. so, you know. sometimes unnecessary is still good lmao).

#also if literally anyone says that it's all bc of travis' adhd or w/e One More Time i will lose it #look i also have adhd and i am still capable of writing a cohesive plot okay??? having mental illness does not #somehow prevent you from being able to write a cohesive and well-thought-out story #i do think he got some very unnecessary backlash and a lot of the problems in gr*d were also present in early balance #the difference is that balance... balanced out eventually and grew stronger #whereas gr*d collapsed in on itself and became a mess plot-wise #and even tho i enjoyed the characters i felt no real emotional investment in their arcs bc their arcs were... not really arcs #anyway i dont regret listening to it BUT it was a slog & i dont think i'll ever really relisten #taz

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ellewritesathing · 4 years ago

Text

Ten Things III

Summary: If there’s one thing you have to know about Harvey Kinkle, it’s that he rarely thinks things through. So when he meets (and falls for) Sabrina Spellman on his first day of Baxter High and finds out that she can’t date anyone until her tempestuous sister does, it seems like the obvious solution is to get someone to date her so he can go out with Sabrina. A not so obvious choice for the challenge is Caliban, but, hey, it’s not like Harvey thought that far.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 3

Word-count: 3.2k+

A/N: i’m like ridiculously excited to write the next part for this series but we needed some build up!! enjoy!! 💕

The more Sabrina thought about it, the more she convinced herself that Harvey's plan wasn't all that bad. She did, however, feel even worse about lying to you. She kept telling herself that it would work out because Caliban was a good guy at his core and you just didn’t know how to make the first move. All you needed was a push in the right direction, and she and Harvey were … well, more of a shove. But still. It would work out.

It had to work out.

Sabrina cast her ill-placed optimism aside as she thought of how bad it would be if this didn’t work out while she and Harvey dug through your room in search of things that you and Caliban could bond over. She suggested one of the bands from the posters on your wall, Harvey said Caliban would never see any of them in concert. Harvey suggested paintballing, Sabrina told him that you’d shoot Caliban somewhere he probably didn’t want to get shot with a paintball.

The back and forth kept going until the two of them were lying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking quietly about the few options that were left.

“They could … I don’t know,” Harvey said with a quiet sigh, waving his hand at the ceiling. “Burn down the chem classroom?”

Sabrina smiled to herself at how much you would actually enjoy that. She could just picture you running away from the burning building and Caliban driving the getaway car. “I was thinking of something slightly less illegal.”

“Oh, right,” Harvey mumbled. Sabrina laughed at how defeated he seemed and absentmindedly reached for his hand. She ran her thumb over the side of his hand as he, very awkwardly, said in a voice a few octaves higher, “Uh, so where is your sister anyway?”

“Skatepark by the mines,” Sabrina said with a sigh before rolling onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow. “She goes there almost every day after school.”

“She does?”

Sabrina lifted her other hand and moved some curls out of Harvey’s face. “Mm-hmm.”

“You know…” Harvey said slowly as he tore his eyes away from the ceiling to look at her. It was such a small, sweet moment. “That could work. Caliban could go there and then they just happen to run into one another.”

“I don’t know. My sister’s not exactly the coincidence type. She might run him over with her car,” Sabrina said hesitantly. But at least if it was purely ‘coincidental’ then she wouldn’t feel so guilty about it. She let out a breath and collapsed back onto the bed. “Don’t you think this is all a little weird?”

“Super weird but-” Harvey reached across the space between them and held Sabrina’s hand again. “But I think you’re worth a little weirdness.”

“Oh, am I now?” Sabrina laughed, rolling over again to face him.

Harvey was so much sweeter than she expected. He had a good heart, and he was going to absurd lengths just for the chance to go on a date with her. She had never even told him if she’d say yes.

Sabrina’s breath hitched when Harvey rolled onto his side to look at her. It felt like he was going to kiss her and, as much as she wanted that to happen, she wasn't sure if-

“I think you are,” Harvey said quietly. He started leaning in slowly when the door to your room burst open and he jumped sky high and off the bed.

“Cousin!” Ambrose said with a wide smile as he sauntered closer. He tilted his head as he looked at Harvey. “And friend.”

Sabrina let out a sigh and got to her feet. “Leave him alone, Ambrose." She wasn't sure Harvey could survive an encounter with Ambrose when he was already so flustered. "What do you want?”

Ambrose to his eyes away from Harvey to dramatically turn back to Sabrina. “Our dearest Y/N is should be home soon and I wasn’t sure you wanted her interrupting your canoodling.”

“We weren’t canoodling,” Harvey said awkwardly.

Ambrose gave him a knowing smile. “I’m sure, friend.”

“Okay.” Sabrina took a step closer and put one hand on Ambrose’s shoulder and held his hand in her other as she started guiding him out of the room. “Thanks for the heads-up, Ambrose, we can handle it from here.”

Ambrose made a few more comments as she shoved him out the door, but it was nothing Sabrina couldn’t handle. Harvey, on the other hand, was five shades paler when she turned around again.

“I think I should go,” he rushed out. “This has been really good though! I’ll be sure to tell Caliban about the skatepark.”

“Okay,” Sabrina said quietly. Her small, sweet moment was long gone.

As Harvey dashed out, he stopped momentarily in front of her. Sabrina didn’t move as he did, unsure about what he was doing. He only stopped for a second, but in that second he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before letting go and running out of the room, leaving Sabrina alone in your room and extremely confused.

A few seconds later, she heard a horn honking in the driveway and went to the window to check it out. Harvey was apologizing frantically as he tried to run across to his truck, and you were yelling something at him from behind the wheel of your car.

Sabrina hoped this would work.

---

“Do you just assume I know how to skateboard?”

Caliban was sprawled on his usual bench as Harvey paced around him, telling him everything that happened between him and Sabrina during their recon mission. His hair was in a messy ponytail today, but pretty much everything else Caliban wore was messy as well. Somehow - for a reason Harvey didn’t quite understand - every girl that walked past was still checking him out.

“No, I’m just telling you what we think will work,” Harvey said as he stopped in front of the bench, blocking off Caliban’s sun. After fifteen minutes of Harvey’s rushed talking, that question was Caliban’s only response. “She might be nicer on her own turf.”

Caliban let out a breath as he stopped squinting at Harvey to roll up to a sitting position. “I’m touched by your concern for my well-being, but I think I can handle myself.”

“Okay, dude, whatever you say.” Harvey sat down next to Caliban and started bouncing his leg almost immediately.

“Alright, what’s the matter with you?” Caliban asked. He rolled his eyes when Harvey looked over at him with a frown. “Something happened that you're not telling me. You look like you’re about to throw up.”

Harvey started stammering out excuses but eventually just took a deep breath and started from the beginning. For the second time, but much slower, he told Caliban about how Sabrina held his hand and teased him without being mean about it. He mentioned how she smelled like the woods but in a good way, a sweet way, and her shampoo was some fucking lavender flower scent that he couldn’t get out of his mind. And then he told him about how he kissed her.

“-On the top of her head! Like who does that?” Harvey finished after another ten minutes of uninterrupted rambling. “Not her forehead, by the way. Like the actual top of her head.”

He groaned and fell back onto the bench as Caliban laughed and patted his chest in what Harvey assumed was an attempt to comfort him.

“Harvey, settle down.” That’s all Caliban said for the first few seconds as Harvey calmed his anxiety to a silent bubble inside him. “Now that you’re getting some oxygen to your brain, listen here. People eat that cute affectionate shit up.” He held up a hand when Harvey started sputtering out protests. “Think about it: If Sabrina kissed you on the head, how would you feel?”

Harvey was quiet for a second as he thought about a non-lame answer. He doubted Caliban would be impressed by his honest answer, so after a few minutes, he mumbled, “I guess it wouldn’t be so bad.”

“Well, there you go. She doesn’t hate you; she just thinks you’re not so bad,” Caliban said with a tricky smile and another pat on the chest.

“Thanks.” Harvey rolled his eyes and adjusted as the weight of messing things up with Sabrina before they even started rolled off his shoulders. “So, uh, do you?”

Caliban turned to face him with narrowed eyes and a set jaw. The slight scowl didn’t intimidate Harvey like it did that day outside of Ms. Wardwell’s office anymore. “Do I what?” Caliban asked.

“Know how to skateboard.”

“Oh.” Caliban let out a breath and shrugged as his face shifted back to its usual state of cool indifference. “I know enough to get by.”

“Uh … okay.” Harvey didn’t know what to say to that. He scratched his head slightly as the two of them sat there for a few seconds. “She also doesn't date smokers."

"So I've been told," Caliban said with a sigh, looking down at where his cigarettes used to live in his jacket. "Would it be weird if I said good luck? I don’t know what this situation calls for.”

Caliban let out another laugh as he got to his feet. He messed up Harvey’s hair as he walked around the back of the bench. “Don’t worry, Harvey. You’ll get your date with Sabrina Spellman.”

Harvey didn’t say it, but that wasn’t what he was worried about. He knew you couldn’t be all bad since Sabrina loved you so much, but his mind kept going back to you yelling at him to ‘remove his head from his sphincter, then cross the road’ and he worried Caliban might be a little out of his depth.

---

After their little chat, Caliban blew off the rest of his classes to head to this mystery skatepark by the mines. As far as skateparks go, it wasn’t anything spectacular but he could see the appeal of the rough, dug out holes and all the stray scaffolding. There were a few proper ramps set up and some of the old mining holes had been smoothed out and converted to the necessary quarter or half pipes. It had a dilapidated charm.

As he walked around, he saw some kids doing tricks on the scaffolding and others sneaking off into the mines. Some people had climbed to the top of long-abandoned structures and were either making out or playing chicken. Caliban couldn’t see you, though, no matter how hard he looked.

Deciding he should probably stop being a creep, he took his board and went to one of the ramps. He started messing around to get the feel for skating after weeks of not practicing, relieved that you only showed up after he’d stopped falling down.

You didn’t have a skateboard or rollerblades, just a messenger bag and a precariously stuffed notebook. You seemed surprised to see him there, but Caliban pretended not to notice. All you did for the first five minutes was stand there and watch him with a glare and clenched jaw, so Caliban did his best to gradually up his game.

Something he did must have caught your attention because you settled on the edge of the ramp, one leg dangling off the edge as you balanced your notebook on the other and started writing. Caliban made no attempts to come any closer than when he skated up the side, and even then he didn’t speak to you.

He didn’t notice at first when you put away the notebook and repositioned yourself to focus on him, but his heart stuttered when he did. It was disgusting, really, that you had that effect on him but he squashed those feelings under his wheels as he rode up the side of the ramp, twisted, and landed next to you with a small thump as he caught his board in his free hand.

Caliban gave you an easy smirk as you stared daggers into his heart.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” you said when the stare-off started irritating you. Caliban figured that was because you were used to winning them, so he didn’t take your irritation personally.

“A little puppy-dog told me about it,” Caliban said, moving his board from his lap to the space behind his back and stretched out his hands behind him for good measure. He was the picture of easy confidence as he sat on the edge with you, looking out at the almost setting sun. “It’s not bad.”

You rolled your eyes and adjusted your hold on the strap of your messenger bag. “Glad it meets your standards, Sparky.”

“A bit defensive, are we?” Caliban asked, even though he smiled at the nickname. You scoffed but didn’t respond, so Caliban popped one of his earphones back in. He’d been listening to those bands Harvey said you liked all afternoon, and they weren’t nearly as bad as he expected.

It took a few minutes before you reached over and yanked the earbud out of his ear and called him rude, but Caliban held in his snark long enough to hold out the other earbud to you. You took the earbud from him very apprehensively and popped it in, but you didn’t say anything after your momentary surprise.

The two of you sat, joined by the cables of Caliban’s earphones, and watched the sunset without saying anything. You looked at Caliban every now and then, doing your best to hide your curiosity, and Caliban looked at you a lot more, not bothering to hide anything.

And then the album ended.

You pulled the earbud out and dropped it in Caliban's lap with a polite smile before gathering up your stuff and getting to your feet.

“Hey, where are you going?” Caliban asked, lifting up his head to frown at you.

“Home,” you said with the closest thing Caliban had seen to your smile. “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere. I thought we were having a moment,” Caliban said, tilting his head even more.

You crouched down, leaned in slightly, and tilted your head to match Caliban’s movement. “Moment’s over,” you said in a low voice. Your eyes dropped to his lips for a second and then you were on your feet and walking away.

You didn’t see the kids skating out of the mines, but Caliban did and he was on his feet and racing to get to you before the collision did.

---

One moment you were walking back to your car, and the next you were on your back and in the dirt with Caliban on top of you and some very concerned rollerbladers torn between asking if you were okay and skating away as fast as they could. They decided on skating away when you yelled at them to get away from you or you’d shove that rainbow skate so far up their asses that they’d need a dentist to get it out.

You were still yelling when Caliban started laughing, bits of his stray curls tickling your face as he did. You weren’t sure if your chest fluttered because he looked really pretty when he laughed or because you were still pissed that he’d knocked you to the ground and then laughed at you.

“Stop laughing or you’re next,” you warned.

Caliban did his best to stop laughing, but he made no attempts to hide his smile. “You can’t threaten me. I saved your life.”

“You crushed my spleen.”

“It’s a nonessential organ.”

“I will crush one of your nonessential organs.”

Caliban started laughing again and you had to decide whether he was pretty or you were pissed. You decided it could be both, but you were still leaning towards threatening him again despite his prettiness.

“You can get off of me now,” you snapped when pretty started creeping up on you. “Those scary fifteen-year-olds are long gone.”

“Are you sure? I think we should wait it out some more.” Caliban smiled and lifted his hand to wipe some dust off your face. His hand was warmer than you expected, softer too. He was different than the first time you met, but you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“If you don’t move,” you said in a voice soft enough to match the feel of his hand on your face, “I will bite you.”

Caliban smiled, no doubt another witty retort on his tongue, but he didn’t say anything as he rolled to his side and got to his feet. He held a hand out to help you up, but you were still mad at him and his amused face.

You pushed his hand away and gathered your things. Luckily for him, nothing was damaged, but that didn’t stop you from arguing with him about the collision and your nonessential organs.

“Perhaps-” Caliban interrupted after you started running out of steam. He took a step closer, dropping his gaze for a second as he did “-we could settle this over dinner.”

“Dinner?” You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “Why should I go out for dinner with you, Sparky?”

Maybe the amused smile made him prettier than you cared to admit, but the fact that Caliban was amused by you annoyed you even more. He took another step closer. “Because I saved your life and you hate feeling like you owe people,” he said. Another step closer. He dropped his voice to say, “And, deep down, I think you’re more interested in how this would turn out than you are mad at me.”

“I think you’re underestimating my ability to be mad at you,” you said, looking down at his lips for a second as they curled into another smile.

Your eyes snapped back up after Caliban started talking, knowing full well that he noticed you looking at his lips. “Oh, no. I know you can be plenty mad at me.”

“Did forget that I don’t date smokers?” you asked, hoping it made up for your momentary loss of snark.

“I quit. Turns out they’re really bad for you, who knew?”

You felt yourself laughing before you could stop it. Shaking your head, you took out a step closer to Caliban and put a hand on his chest. “One date, Sparky. Then we’re even.”

“One date,” Caliban repeated.

He didn’t move from his spot and you weren’t sure what else to say. Agreeing with him was something you hadn’t expected, and neither was him being so annoyingly agreeable. You bit the inside of your lip as you stewed over this new development.

“Well, I should be off,” Caliban said quietly when the sun was almost completely over the horizon. “I don’t want to be around when those fifteen-year-olds come back.”

“Don't worry, Sparky, the scariest thing out here is me," you said.

"I have no doubt about that."

Caliban let out another laugh and shook his head as he took three steps backward before turning and walking away. He lifted his hand and waved at you without turning to check how you reacted, so confident that you were watching him go.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. You were watching him, trying to convince yourself that you were still more pissed than he was pretty.

Part 4

Tagged: @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @miss--moose @marrypuffsstuff @harryscarolinaa @igorsbby @foji2000 @hxlalokidottir @artaxerxesthegreat @thxmagic @strawberriesandknives @xealia @hotmessindisguise @acciomaximoff @reheated-coffee @shelby-x @perseny-blog @millie-753 @luneerius @shizzybarnaclee @lettherebelovex @throughparisallthroughrome @ietss @thebookwormlife @mechanicalanimalz @mariamermaid @nqbmf @caliban-is-my-girl @shephard17895 @music-movies @clockworks-world-to-fandoms @luquincy @marina468 @olivia-west-allen @drrramaaaqweeen @roxytheimmortal

#ten things #Caliban #Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #caos #caliban imagine #caliban x reader

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