#but that wasnt working out too well. eventually my sister and i had to go home but i exchanged numbers with the girl we were looking around

[0rchidm4ntis]

:')) just got a text from a stranger about a kitty who was stuck under a car finally being rescued, my night has been made <3 if you needed to see some good news today/tonight here it is o/

[orcelito]

Actually it is SO weird to me to remember that I was an engineering student and that later on I had been pursuing a minor in statistics

I may be a IT & com person in the end, but I do have the foundations of engineering and statistics in my brain too. Wild !

[paiges-1vur]

hey loves! heres another pazzi fic for you guys because i know you love pazzi fics as much as i do. <3 🏀🌌👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

“mm.. your not going anywhere. get back here” paige mumbled into azzis shoulder as she tightened her grip on her waist, pulling the girl towards herself.

“paige i have to get up i told you. i havent texted my parents all night, they are gonna think you kidnapped me,” the brunette jokes, giggling slightly. “paige- oh my gosh” the brunette says trying not to laugh, while also being slightly irritated that she cannot get up. she eventually gives into the blondes touch, smiling. “dont worry paigey im right here. not going anywhere.”

the two girls have been friends, teammates, and practically sisters for the past three years. they had both felt feelings for each other ever since they got closer, when paige was a senior in highschool. although they felt this way, they never told anyone except those who were very close to them. family, friends, and teammates were all very supportive but the girls didnt want to tell the media just yet. they liked keeping what they had special, and they didnt want the media to twist anything, their relationship was perfect the way it was.

“you better not,” paige mumbles. her voice is husky and low. “you know i miss you like a bitch when your not visiting right? i need all the azzi time i can get.” she says pulling the girl even closer to herself, earning a giggle from the brunette. “and you better come to Uconn, or else…” paige threatens azzi, jokingly.

“oh yea?” azzi asks smirking to herself. “and what would you do if i didnt commit next year..?” the older blonde gets clearly upset at the idea of being without the brunette and her demeanor quickly changes. before she knows it, azzi is being flipped over onto her back. paige hovers over her, smiling down at her. “take it back..” she taunts azzi.

“wha- paige” she says starting to laugh, “i was just joking i promise its not that serious.” she tries to escape from under paige to lie back down but only gets denied when paige grabs her wrists and pins them above her head. “hmmm” she says leaning into azzis ear. “i didnt like that joke, it wasnt very funny..”

“i-” azzi swallows. “i was just kidding paige..i-i already said that.”

“and i heard you the first time baby..” paige says leaning down to leave a trail of kisses down her jawline. “so i said take it back..” slowly her kisses move down to her neck. azzi throws her head back, allowing paige more access to her neck. paige lets out a low laugh at this, starting to leave little bites and marks all over her neck.

“it.. was just a joke. im not going to take it back” azzi doesnt budge. she doesnt understand why all of a sudden paige got so worked up, but shes not complaining. it was rare paige had her dorm to herself, but tonight was special. azzi loved cuddling, but she was secretly hoping that something different would happen tonight…

paige kept placing kisses and love bites on her neck, driving azzi wild. she took a hand and snuck it just under azzis sweatshirt, placing it just above the waistband of azzis sweats.. well technically paiges sweats. “paige-”

paige immediately stopped and looked up at azzi. “yes baby?” she was concerned about why azzi stopped her. did she want her to stop? maybe she wasn’t in the mood anymore, which would have been totally fine with paige, but that wasnt the case.

“i love you.” is all she said before putting her head back down on the pillow. paige smiled and broke the waistband of azzis sweats with her middle finger and ring finger. “i love you too baby.. just lay back for me”

sorry this is so short loves. congrats if you read all the way through, and any interaction is appreciated <3 please dont be shy to drop reqs in my anon, or message me! of course also dont be shy to be “too specific” i want to make you guys as happy as i can with my writing. tips also appreciated always

[mossdoesartshit]

extermination day extermination always irritated vaggie. She had developed a major dislike of it upon being dropped into hell for showing mercy, which shouldve kept her in heaven than get her booted out, but she had found the love of her life here, so she couldnt complain. After the battle during the old hotels time, the exterminations had become far more erratic. sometimes theyd be only a month or so away, sometimes over a year. she had no doubts it was entirely because of lute, which she wasnt too fond of, but what could vaggie realistically do, her old sister in arms had always been a bit of a nutcase. besides, she had bigger fish to worry about right now. she and charlie were doing a headcount of people who had been in the hotel that day, (alastor, husk, nifty, the usual people, along with some hopefully quests to be) and there was one person distinctly missing "do i have to go get him?" vaggie asked, exasparated "come on please? he should be somewhere on the upper floors, i saw him walking up before the bell rang loud, besides you always have your weapon on you!" charlie begged, earning agreed mumblings of the others "If Safety Is Your Concern, Trust Me Vaggie, I Will Be Able To Handle Any Possible Nuisances While You're Getting Mister Bleeding Heart Back" alastor piped up, with that sickeningly sweet grin of his. She rolled her eyes, and groaned out a soft "fiine" as she moved to go up the hotel. Thank Fucking Lucifer that he had installed an elevator into the hotel, because boy howdy if vaggie had had to walk up the flight of stairs just to get Adam she would not have even considered it. Eventually, she found him on the roof, watching the carnage. "come on Adam, i know youre probably so fucking hard about all the destruction and shit, but you wont be safe from them killing you" Adam didnt turn to look at vaggie, instead closing his wings around himself as best he could, and "I can still recognize them you know" "huh?" with one wing, adam pointed down to two exterminators "that right there is lyre, ruthless as ever, but she has that methodical work flow, kind of like a dance. i think they partnered her with a newbie, which is good- well. bad, but. good from a combat standpoint- because she'll get good pointers at the end" vaggie looked down at the next group of exterminators that adam pointed to "over there is janatha, still fumbling with her stabs and pierces as ever. shes in a bigger squad, but they always worked well together, even if theyre a bit chaotic" an explosion blew up relatively near them, and adam looked over to it with sluggish movements "must be lute... say vags-" "vaggie." "-vaggie, do you remember flute?" "huh? you mean lutes sister?" "mmhm, lutes always been pretty ruthless, but that can leave her open at the back, flute would have covered her but. i think she was killed a few exterminations ago, the one that weapons dealer got. i think theyve tried to pair her with others but i always see her alone" vaggie stood there stunned "i. didnt think you were telling the truth when you said you recognized me. i thought you'd been bluffing or that lute had told you, given..." "well, thats the view souls have of me i suppose. liar down to a t. but i do recognize all of them. i just regret that my blind rage cost the lives of several of them and... lutes arm" another explosion closer to them alerted vaggie to grab adams shoulder "come on, charlies going to get worried if you keep me standing here, cant have you getting killed now that shes done so much work on you" "whatever you say vaggie" adam said, solemnly looking behind to where theyd spotted lute, before walking with vaggie to the elevator to get to the more bunkered area

[tannieastrology]

Capricorn Venus-Learning To Love, Love🤎🧸

☕️ How I imagine a love for Capricorn Venuses one day- Something REAL. Something that warms your heart. Someone to just come home to.

Kinda a personal story<3

☕️🧸First off people who have Capricorn Venus or Venus aspecting Saturn how did yall meet yalls partner and how would you describe your experience in dating? Let me know your experiences down in the comments!

☕️🧸Some common themes- unrequited love, being unable to catch feelings, work/school focused, unsatisfying relationships, liking people for years, low self worth, having to go through many obstacles, strong souls, gracefully age.

☕️🧸My Venus is in Capricorn in the 3rd house conjunct Jupiter, Pluto, and POF and trines my Virgo Saturn in the 11th. All of my friends are older and I actually met my friendgroup because of my older sister and find it difficult to make friends regularly. I also mostly hangout with older people but when it comes down to dating I am very inexperienced even though I know im only 16.

☕️🧸Like ive never talked to anyone and when I like someone ive had a pattern of liking them for like 2-3 years( my venus being in the 8th degree of scorpio). I also dont get approached alot and while I do have guys approaching me here and there theyre never my type.

☕️🧸Like I LOVE classy men but guys my age just arent like that it kinda bums me out. Watching people easily get into relationships ever since I was a kid and being able to attract anything they want in love matters made me really think I was ugly for the longest time.

☕️🧸For one I literally was a ugly duckling from elementary to middle school and I didnt really go to a school where indian features were appreciated(a majority of my school is hispanic and black). I always kept quiet about my crushes because I always thought no way they could like me?

☕️🧸It wasnt really until this year(my sophmore year) where I realized I have grown sooo much as a person. Beauty wise and personality wise. The way my Venus has impacted me the most was friends because of the relationship of my 3rd and 11th house. I lost friends, was lied to, and backstabbed and eventually made me realize that I wasnt the problem. The people around me are just vain. This made me go into depression for a while but also made me reflect on my relationships.

☕️🧸Eventually I thought why do I deserve any less? And yall dont understand this was such a turning point for me because it made me cut off so many unnecessary people in my life along with raising my standards within my relationships which is EXACTLY what Capricorn Venus should learn to do if they feel theyre relationships arent satisfying. Not just friends but in romantic interests too. Like I actually have boundries for myself but I will say that I lost alot of my innocence when it comes to love. The biggest thing for me personally is that I grew into myself but it took a longer time for that to happen for me compared to my peers but man sometimes people be hyping me up and I just dont know how to deal with it because I grew up ugly LMFAO.

☕️🧸Saturn here will force you to be patient and learn alot of valuable lessons for not only romantic love, but also friendships and familial relationships. Because one thing ive noticed is that these people are very sweet, soft hearted, and always wanted to fall in love, but as they got older they had unsatisfactory in those experiences and come to take the stereotype of being “cold” when in reality you just come to realize that people are disappointing. With time ive noticed we age well and we meet more serious people as we get older but you just have to deal with immaturity for a little while until that happens. All in all Capricorn Venuses will get what they deserve and I PROMISE you will be fine asf when u get old so hang in there.😘

If I were to give you a love based on a movie itd be this one<3

I really hope yall enjoyed this I wanted to give my insight on it so here I came🥰

[xxx-sir-pentious-xxx]

Story idea, fluff/angst version (if you write for him): Sebastian returning home after escaping the facility and finally seeing his family again

He was a huge hulking beast, but as he managed to wake up his mother by banging on the front door he considered his appearance at last.

The door opened and his mother's eyes locked on him. She almost screamed but then she look at his hair and the way he was tearing up. She knew that sad soft face from anywhere no matter how mutated.

"Sebastian!? Come inside- what happened to you sweetheart??"

He gladly trailed in tail wagging.

"Oh mama I missed you... it's a long story ma I- I just-"

Before he could talk further his dearest mother started heating up leftovers from last night's supper.

"Well let's get some food in you, mi dulce niño... oof goodness you need a shower..."

While to food heated up she helped him get his grimey clothes off. Patting his bicep she lightly joked,

"Goodness you've certainly gotten bulkier. What have you been eating-"

She looked at his face and saw the shame in his face and those big watery eyes, nothing hurt more than her baby boy crying like this, but she didnt know why he was crying. She very carefully with subtlety stepped to the side some to look in his face.

Those sad little lip quivers and the way she just knew he wasn't looking at her, she knew her little boy so well.

"Sebastian, sweetheart, look at me... look at me...?"

Something about that statement seemed to have made him stressed immediately. And when she tried to hug him she saw his whole body tense, his third arm almost going to strike but he stopped. He very carefully hugged her.

"What did they do to you..?"

It took a whole night.

But he would see his siblings tomorrow as they visited their mother weekly.

Of course they straight up screamed and of course they acted like he was a freak. They apologized after their mother chewed them out for insulting him to his face and how it's their bother.

"You two are screaming like his doing anything, hes wearing a Tshirt for God's sake... imprudente... I made breakfast you two."

Sebastian was wearing a old shirt that by now was hugging his muscular frame and had a worn red color to it.

The four ate breakfast, Sebastian got double the pancakes as he honestly would be far too expensive to feed, so his mom opted to just make something cheap but filling. The others and herself had eggs and chorizo not like he was complaining.

His younger sister stared as he ate, the way his teeth looked freaked her out. The eldest brother stared at his whole face wondering for all of five seconds where his face was when he say two nostrils flares. It was kinda like a bunny. The older brother snorted,

"That's kinda cute actually... you know your kinda adorable when I'm not shitting my pants Sebastian."

Sebastian took offense and blushed blue,

"Shut up man... fucking dick.."

His sister finally considered more of his face and added,

"Yeah you got big ol doe eyes and your.. ears? Wiggle when your sitting there, it is a little cute.."

Sebastian scoffed ears flicking annoyed until his mother stated,

"Oh leave him alone hes been through enough. And hes a handsome young man still so dont go teasing him and treating him like a new dog, its rude."

"Thank you mama..."

His sister mumbled,

"God your such a mama's boy Sebby.... always were but still geez..."

The 4 eventually settled down and by the end of it their mother set to work trying to find Sebastian a job in town. After all, Robloxia was full of many strange creatures. I mean really she saw this one girl who just had functional rabbit ears, surely a giant fish man wasnt that strange to the mermaids she saw last week. Maybe he could live a nice full like with one of those mermaids, he would have a chance.

.....

If you want more ask for more and I'll type up some more. Your ask has a strong chance of happening.

[camryntheking]

Ok! My thoughts on 7x05!

First, i just wanna say that the whole Hen and Karen storyline is awesome! I love that the show is giving queer people so much screen time, especially a Black lesbian couple! And i think its super sweet that they really want to try for Mara! I hope it works out!

Next, i think that has been my favorite cold open so far. The “ITS MEEE” gets me every time (i have already watched it loads of times). I dont have much to comment on it other than it was funny as fuck

Ok. The date scene. I was hoping to see more of Eddie watching them (especially after the stills), but oh well. The second-hand embarrassment i got was… a lot. But i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. It showed how out of his comfort zone Buck was and how he was trying to navigate a terrifying situation. And Tommy? I might have to retract my earlier retraction. Cos wtf?? Literally had just finished talking about how its hard to accept yourself in a “macho” field, then makes a dig at Buck when he fumbles? Not cool. Then not communicating what was happening until he was getting in the Uber? You dont just abandon someone at a restaurant like that. I understand the “you’re not ready” thing, but that was a dick move.

Also, Buck, baby. Sweetheart. Darling. “I look at hot guys’ asses.” Sweetie. Like Maddie said. You are more than an ally lmao. I also just love how Maddie showed interest in getting to know who Buck was talking about and treating the convo after like a normal convo. Because it is! And i love it! But she also emphasized talking to Eddie, because she knew that Eddie would not react poorly. I feel like that just shows how everyone knows how close Buck and Eddie are. TLDR, Maddie is an awesome sister and Buck is lucky to have her ❤️

Next point, the scene where Buck and Tommy talk over coffee. I do think that the hand holding at the end is very sweet and shows how Buck is really trying to be more open, but Tommy is just really starting to rub me the wrong way. Pretty much everything he said contradicts what happened in the date scene. I feel like him being at the wedding is really gonna spark some Jealous Eddie, tho, so i am excited to see that lmao

And Eddie and Marisol? I feel like the show is going in a direction that leads them to breaking up. Like yes, it is showing growth for Eddie and allowed him to acknowledge that he has Catholic guilt, but theres just. No chemistry. It feels awkward. I feel like her being an ex-nun is gonna bring up some issues with Buck and Eddie will not stand for that. I also wanted to point out that i got even more vibes that Eddie could be demisexual, cos he didnt straight up say that he loved Shannon, just that he loved being married to her. And he knows that he is moving too fast and needs to step back a bit

Finally, Buck coming out to Eddie. I do find it funny that Eddie seemed more shocked that Tommy wasnt straight than figuring out Buck isnt straight. But its awesome that Eddie showed interest and genuinely wanted to help Buck through the issue. And the hug? Finally! Give me men not being afraid to hug each other! I feel like this is allowing Buck and Eddie to become even closer (i do hope for Buddie eventually)

Overall, i feel like this episode was great for setting up the development of Buck and Eddie’s relationship (whether it ends up being platonic or romantic). And i am all for Buck exploring his sexuality with someone that isnt Eddie. While Tommy isnt my favorite right now, i do think that he is great for the progression of Buck’s story. I do hope to see more of Dad!Bobby in the coming episodes and how Buck’s parents might react to Tommy. I dont wanna wait three weeks for the next episode 😢. Im ready for the chaos of the Madney wedding

If i think of anything else ill add on, but i think thats all i have for now. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[kriticallydamaged]

hai cc tumbl… donr mind me, just gonna place some new stuff down under the cut for serial fame, my new au :^)

(Hey, some of this stuff may be OOC. Sorry if it appears that way y’alls.)

Alright, in my two previous posts I mentioned that Madison Springer, kills Rani Goshwalla. However, how is everyone else supposed to feel about it? Well, I got these names right here! (Fuck, I’m gonna have to tag them all aren’t I.)

### Initial reactions to Rani’s death:

Misha: Misha was beside herself. Actually, she was the first person to have found Rani like that. That was her little sister, and, Misha has survivor’s guilt due to her being alive. Canonically, yes, she did feel some jealousy towards Rani because she was better liked. So lets say… Misha feels guilty for that too.

Tess: She was pretty shocked. Immediately, she wanted to work on the case. She suspects *two* people could be behind Rani’s death… but… who?

Josh: Josh had felt pretty bad about Rani’s death, especially because of the things he planned to do to her. Perhaps they weren’t *that* close, but it still shook him.

Donna: Donna was very shocked for a few days. A murder on *her* campus? The police were called immediately. After Rani’s death, Donna had placed more stricter rules for those on campus

Olly: He was proud of Madison…

Riley: Absolutely jawdropped. At first, he thought it was a silly prank (he was high at the time), but after sobering up, Riley had joked about it to Misha. That earned his ass a hard slap. He held his cheek, cause he was also slapped with the reality of the situation

Mary Lou: Mary Lou was, essentially disappointed. She had wanted to get to know Rani better.

Cathy: She had alerted her grandfather as soon as she found out. She wanted to help solve the murder case, but was ultimately denied. Cathy would ally with Tess in figuring out what happened eventually.

Troy: Troy was a little unserious about it at first. The somber mood of the campus, however, made him somber too.

Chad: Chad was one of the people that made Troy see the gravity of the situation. He had sent his condolences to Misha.

Thomas: Because of the murder, and Donna’s fear for her students, he wasnt able to play the Grimsborough’s Quails. It was more of a “well, damn.” moment for him.

Franklin: He had suggested letting the football game go on still, but Donna had shut him down *fast*. Still, he feels sad about it.

Karimah: Karimah, who doesnt know why, feels like she could have saved Rani…

Lisa: Lisa was also, very upset. She had considered Rani to be a nice person. Another friend was very great for Lisa, and nowww… she doesnt have that.

Penelope: Penelope started spending more time with Lisa, also grieving the death of Rani.

Caroline: Caroline was extremely shocked by her death. What more can I say? She works with elementary school students too, she cant have murders going around fucking everything up!

Tom: Tom was also, very shocked by her death. A murder on HIS school’s campus? Hell no. He’s been staying at home… visiting Hannah too. Well… trying…

Aaliyah: A fellow girl being murdered hurt her soul. She was pretty sad—not just by the murder, but watching Misha break down every now and then was heartbreaking.

Taylor: Taylor was somehow moved by this. She wants to start a protest for enhanced safety on campus.

Michael: Michael frowned at the news. They were feeding their devilish ass fish when they were told. Usually they’re always happy with those demons, but, it seems they’ve been way more sadder than usual

Tyler: Tyler was put off by the situation. As long as he wasn’t in danger, though…🧍

Stuart: Stuart wanted to publish a newspaper article about the murder. He’d insert himself in Tess and Cathy’s investigations (he was not invited lmao)

Bryan: He decided he’d work way harder after this. The students’ safety is in his hands, after all.

Mikhail: He wasnt here yet. He’d find out about all the murders soon.

When Olly gets his kill, though, they won’t know what hit them.

[electronicclowncollector]

How's asking Yukino out going?

Sorry I couldnt give a progress report sooner, they dont have wifi in the world of fairy tail it turns out. but BOY do I have a story to tell about how all that went.

So for the journey there it went perfectly fine for the most part, except I got a LOT of dust in my eyes from nearby asteroids, so I couldn't see a thing, but when I got there, some dude named gray filibuster found me and I got him to bring me to the saber tooth place. I nicknamed him gay because hahahaha it was funny at the time, okay? anyway

He got more and more sick of me to the point where he just left me somewhere and since I couldn't see a thing i didnt realise he actually just left me at the door to the saber tooth guild base thingy (? probably). and eventually someone let me in.

A while later i still couldnt see a thing, probably permenantly damanged my eyes, nobody knew the cure to having space dust in your eyes. but after a while I found yukino, introduced myself when she asked my name and got to know her.

Then I asked her out (mind you I had to do it twice since the first time i was facing the other way, asteroid dust and all), and wouldnt you know it, i'm the best, so it worked. we went out to dinner and all was going well, then she told me she loved me (big eyed emoji on the verge of tears with a little smile). i told yukino that I love her too because it would be socially unacceptable to say I didnt (it was the first date so yk). but then I got the hardest slap in my life (which managed to get the asteroid dust out of my eyes, like wow that was all it took?), turns out THAT WAS YUKINOS SISTER THE WHOLE TIME, I just couldnt see that because of the asteroid dust and couldnt tell by her voice because I've never watched fairy tail. that did not go well, she was mad as hell, idk where the real yukino was that whole time but I wasnt gonna stick around long enough for her to find out. so I left the fairy tail world and my god am I never going back there again.

Also I think i mightve tripped over doug as I was leaving. Sting was nowhere to be found though so i'm still alive.

[a-libra-writes]

HIII!! can i ask, how do you write Mordecai Heller?? THANK YOUU!!

hmm Ill try to answer this best I can and try not to ramble too long but we'll see how that goes... Im not gonna act like im an expert or whatever, this is just my thought process ig? ALSO Im ace and so is he, and I add my own experiences into my writing. Anyway the long version here:

so first thing's first!! READ THE COMIC ALSO THE SIDE COMICS ALSO ALL THE EXTRAS bc esp the extras, you get to see a lot of his personality pre-Marigold. It's two very distinct points in his life - I'd venture to say that pre-Lackadaisy and early Lackadaisy Mordecai are also very different (and that makes sense - he was a kid, and he was with the Lackadaisy crew for 7 years). He has a very distinct character progression that in my opinion is very interesting and well-written!

actually, p much all lackadaisy characters are well-written, but mordecai is a fun case because he just has so much going on: his social skills are abysmal, and he doesn't seem to find it a problem. he has committed brutal murders and executions and considers them 'just business'. he doggedly pursues discrepancies. he fixates on things being neat and symmetrical if possible. He can deal with things not being that way, for a time (note when he's covered in bloody and filthy from a job, he doesn't freak out - because that's Business (tm) and he can just wash up anyway. But a driver getting a snot mess all over the car he has to drive in all the time? Unforgivable.) he grew up in squalor and has a serious phobia of spiders and rats. He's emotionally repressed in more ways than one. He's queer and is deeply uncomfortable with people (especially women) touching him or showing interest. He still thinks about his sisters fondly. he also thinks they're better off without him. He actually found a friend (or more) in Viktor and he'd never, ever, ever say it, and his way of keeping his friend out of crime and 'protecting' him was by shooting his kneecaps. his sense of humor is crap, and he doesn't understand why his mannerisms would be considered amusing. he got into crime at a young age, doing gangster's finances for them. as a kid.

im missing some other tidbits, but you get it. the dude is real interesting to think about and write, to say the least.

I think a lot of writing mordecai, esp if you're writing a more romantic fic or even if it's just platonic - he's so closed off! part of why the Savoys are so interested in him is they've worked with him a year and he just doesn't loosen up or talk much about himself. he and viktor knew each other seven whole-ass years and you think they ever talked about their families? how they came to know atlas? what they thought about the job? granted, Viktor is just as closed-off himself, but you get what im saying. he has a serious problem with letting people in, and part of writing him is getting a crowbar and figuring out which spot to put it in and bend it juuuust enough to open something up.

ok that metaphor went somewhere weird, but you get me. and, if im being honest, a LOT of what i channel is my own asexual experience. I used to be very touch averse, especially to the opposite gender - to the point where i'd panic if I felt a man was "too close" (i.e. less than 2 feet) and "lingering" (aka minding his business). I didnt mind my friends hugging me, but I didnt really like the cuddle sessions my female friends wanted to do, and after a point, I disliked hugs from my male friends. if a guy was crushing on me? Hell no, he wasnt going near me, even if I thought he was cute too (when I was younger I DEF had a thing for my female friends too, but i registered that as 'gaaaaal paaaals' for the LONGEST time until I accepted I was bi) There was like - an undercurrent of fear and anxiety. It took me a long time to identify why. while other people seemed delighted when people they liked held their hands and hugged and kissed, it sent me into a panic.

eventually i figured out my thought process: physical affection will inevitably lead to sex, and bc i thought i was straight, there was the terrifying thought of ... oh god if i date a guy he'll expect me to have sex. oh no oh no oh no-

(and no, no one taught me much about consent or taking things slow or talking to your partner. i had to figure it out, which sucked.)

all this to say ... when I write Mordecai, especially in a romantic sense, I kind of channel that anxiety I felt in my teens and early 20s. and like, this is the 1920's!!!!* Not to mention his upbringing, and of course his line of work - where he definiately cant have feelings getting in the way of murdering someone. I think this adds up to someone whose repressing themselves - their sexual thoughts (or lack thereof), memories of family, romantic thoughts, platonic thoughts, and so on.

I like to think - again, this is fanfiction, I seriously doubt it'll come up in the comics - in a romantic relationship (or even an intense platonic one), he gets intense about it. Because Mordecai is an intense guy - you can't hatchet up someone "because i was told to", or kneecap a friend you wanted to "protect", or switch sides to your father figure's rival and pretend like you betrayed everyone just to investigate that father figure and not be, uh. some kind of Intense. I often think that, in a relationship, his jealousy and confusion/apprehension around affection and sexuality would be just as intense. And eventually, the feelings of loyalty and devotion ... once he finally lets himself have it. Because I also think, to some degree, he doesn't think he should have it - just like he thinks his sisters and mother should just leave him behind.

when im writing him in the romantic sense - as I began to accept and understand my sexuality, and talk through my feelings with my partner (also generally have better mental health, my touch averseness got a lot better.** Again, Im also kind of projecting my feelings and experiences onto Mordecai regarding this. I like to think that, once he really trusts someone and allows them to touch him, other barriers begin to tumble down. its like raw nerves being touched sometimes, but he steadily gets used to it and eventually takes solace in it (now getting him to ADMIT that srfjsdfs--)

anyway! As always, fanfic is fanfic. You are free to characterize this murdercat however you wish. These are just the jumbled thoughts that run around in my brain.

* Asexuality, like homosexuality and many shades of queerness, was considered an illness. IF anyone even acknowledged asexuality at all - its definition and terminology hadn't really caught on until the 1970's, though the Kinsey scale attempted to address it (and Jennie June attempted to write and define this in the 1920s, but I seriously doubt her writings were widespread).

**A stranger can brush past me or put a hand on me and I only have a few seconds of anxiety. My friends and family can hug me for a while, or I can cuddle up to them. I don't mind my husband cuddling or kissing me at all anymore; he's actually the one person I can tolerate sustained affection from. A huge part of this change came from accepting and understand my asexuality as part of me. I wasnt "messed up" and "broken".

[aether-friskets]

wip questionnaire tag game yay

thanks @ap0stle for tagging me in this!! :D

The WIP im gonna talk about is uh. well it doesnt really have a name i just call it "that game i want to finish eventually" or "the survival horror game idea" lol, I'm bad with names so itll prob remain that way for a while

What's the First Part of Your WIP that You Created?

I can't recall exactly when this was, but I remember I was specifically listening to this video which, judging by its age, would've been around 2 years ago now. Something about the black and red blair witch game art used as the cover (which, i... totally legally... played that game out of curiosity later on, wasnt big on it as a blair witch fan or a horror fan in general, but you will see one little element from it as one of a few inspiration points for whats kind of becoming a major mechanic in my game at this point lol) mixed with the music itself gave me this mental image of someone driving on a road through the woods with that very black and red lighting, and i had this feeling that they were looking for someone. That's technically the very vague basis that sprouted into my game idea, which has changed a lot since then, and now I don't think a scene like that will even happen. Aside from that, my first concept that's actually stuck around, is the protag looking for their sibling (usually my brain leans sister so i may go that route, but i tend to imagine characters w/out gender in mind til later lol) and sorta ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time as a result. I have some more stuff in mind of course, but a lot of stuff is still pretty vague lol

If Your Story Was a TV Show, What Would the Theme Song/Intro Be?

Oh man this is such a fun thing to think about conceptually, I feel like the WIP is almost too much of a WIP to be sure... But it'd probably have to feel very 2000s, maybe have some kind of industrial edge? Something to capture the idea of an ordinary person descending into something they couldn't possibly be prepared for i guess loll Those things aren't necessary, but the setting is mainly going to be in this as yet unnamed city during the mid-late 2000s? I haven't settled on the exact year yet so that may not be fully accurate lol. The game probably will get some kind of intro style thing, because I absolutely LOVE that in the silent hill games (and also twilight princess had something like that!! which is very nostaglic for me lol) so I think it would be awesome to do in mine lol I feel like the closest I've heard to the vibe I imagine are like. 1. Into to The Mine from Lost in Vivo 2. Broken ALSO from Lost in Vivo (i swear something abt the music in this game just has the vibes) 3. Theme Of... by Drackfreeee I guess it makes sense because it's a silent hill inspired song that you can even hear bits from the game's intros in there but. man. it's got a dreamlike quality that fits the more surreal elements i have in mind well, plus i can totally imagine it playing in an intro thing showing a bunch of scenes from the game and setting that scene of descent When i get to that point in making the game, ill probably look back at songs like these for ideas on what'll work

What Are Your Favourite Characters You Made, and Why?

Since this thing is still so much a WIP, I don't have a tonnn figured out about the characters, so it's kinda hard to pick. But I can talk a little about what I DO have figured out! As I said previously, the protag is gonna be looking for their sibling. The basic idea being that they're visiting their sibling in this new city they've never been to before, and things go all wacky sideways real fast. I feel like I'm either gonna love 'em or hate 'em because due to the unintentionally personal nature of this story that I've been embracing more as time went on, they're probably gonna be the most like me out of the cast. I'm hoping to make them an enjoyable protagonist to play as tho, not annoying but not TOO bland or anything. The sibling is probably gonna end up reflecting a lot of my sister, cause, as i said, accidentally personal story that I'm kinda just embracing at this point lol. I wanna not make any of the characters 100% like a single person I know, so I'll probably mix in traits from other people I like lmaooo. but we'll see what they're like by the end. One thing i already DO know is I really wanna circumvent the idea of the person you're trying to find/save being this "damsel in distress" type, so I think it'd be great if when you finally reunite, they're dealing with the whole situation way better than you LMAO. or at least on par. The hardest part about that tho... Is I'll probably have to make a half-decently competent partner NPC for that part of the game... I've also had this idea for a guy based on a dream I had. I think they will be playing a part but I'm not sure yet, as stuff is still very vague at this point. The idea is of someone who is "helping" you for part of the game, only to fuck you over later on because, what can I say, I love the heartbreak of getting totally screwed over by a character you trusted sometimes :3 The idea being you'd make remote contact early on and they'd promise to help lead you to your sibling but in reality either A) they've just been trying to lead you to your death subtly lmaooo or B) more likely option, theyre tricking you into helping them instead, and then will leave you for dead once you actually help them. I feel like it'd be fun to write a guy who is a total opportunist and probably a smug asshole, idk lol There will probably be other characters? but these are the only ones I have in mind so far, and as you can tell, they arent very fleshed out at all yet

What Other Pieces of Media do You Think Your Fanbase Would Share?

Jeez, the idea of garnering any kind of fanbase in and of itself is kind of cool but scary lol I figure they'd probably like a lot of the stuff that's inspiring me in the first place, like Silent Hill (duh), Cry of Fear, Jacob's Ladder, a bit o' Twin Peaks... Basically if you like some guy going through some weird fuckin' psychological shit lmaoo More specifically, i want the vibes of stuff like. standing in a subway station at a weird hour, feeling like the only person left on the planet. Opening a door into a room that shouldn't logically connect. Cryptic phone calls and texts that don't seem like a person would make them. Desperately trying to reach someone, to find the answers, but it seems like the place itself is fighting against you. Stuff like that, I guess

What Has Been Your Biggest Struggle With Your WIP?

Man, what hasn't? I don't have much experience making games so I'm learning a lot mechanically as I go, but I also have never properly finished an entire original story before. I think the main thing, is like... I'm scared whatever I create will feel too derivative of the works that inspired me, that the thing I create will ultimately fade into the shadow of other things that did it better. So every time I have a new idea, I worry about if it'll come off too much like [x thing] and that's been making the process even slower loll Aside from that, I know the character's primary goal, and I have certain locations I think would be cool to include, but I don't know SHIT about any of the details of getting from the start to the end and what will fall in-between, which does make it tricky lol. I need to really consider what kind of path I want them to follow, and what will happen after they reach their goal, stuff like that. It's all just very vague right now and trying to work out the details is almost intimidating even tho thats the main part of making a story.

Are There any Animals in Your Story? Talk About Them!

At the moment? Not that I'm aware of. There may likely be enemies with animal-like appearances, though. I could see that being a thing I do. But I haven't really gotten into monster design just yet.

How do Your Characters Travel/Get Around?

At the moment I'm suspecting primarily on foot, however my concept for the intro of the game involves the protag taking the subway. So there may be some subway shenanigans too, idk.

What Part of Your WIP Are You Working on Right Now?

I'd say the main reason the story is still so vague, is I've been trying to get the main technical/mechanical elements set up before I get too much into the details. Or maybe I'm just stalling. So, I'd say I'm mainly working on stuff surrounding the non-story parts of the game. But in terms of the story, I want to flesh out the protag and the sibling more into proper characters first and foremost, I'd say.

What Aspects (Tropes, Maybe?) do You Think Will Draw Your Audience in?

I'll be real I got no idea but... I guess if I think about it from the perspective of what I think would draw me in from an outside view...

Use of classic survival horror stuff like fixed camera angles (plus I'm going to have both tank and analog controls so more people can enjoy it :])

Putting a guy in A Situation

The general atmosphere and setting (as I sorta said, mid-late 2000s urban enviro with weird illogical stuff happening and potentially kind of dream-like elements, i hesitate to say liminal but maybe a bit liminal? I also want to go for a ps2-ish graphics quality cause i feel like its criminally underrated lol and some people may feel like me on that part and like that)

Vaguely queer protag? like i said i dont have much fleshed out but if they're gonna be based on me at all u KNOW that bitch aint gonna feel cis or straight i'm sorry it's simply fact (also admittedly I've been wanting to make them like some kinda genderqueer or somethin because its my video game and i can do what i want, and seeing human protags that are nonbinary in some way gives me life)

Weird-ass shit??? like if you vibe with weird silent hill dialogue or the weird stuff that just. happens in twin peaks, im hoping to bring a similar energy in my own way

Possibly more stuff as I flesh things out more lol

What Are Your Hopes For Your WIP?

Honestly I just hope I make something that I feel proud of. I wanna make something that makes someone feel the same way that stuff like Silent Hill, Cry of Fear, Lost in Vivo, Twilight Princess, hell, UNDERTALE did, where that shit changes you. Where you can feel the love for the genre or medium it's based upon. But at the very least, I just hope at least one person likes it, I guess That'd be enough for me

Uhhh erm I have no idea who to tag I am so bad at this part.... If you want to do this consider yourself tagged :]

[barkbarkboy]

its taken me a WHILE to think of any interesting lore lol

- i had to save my sister once when she was really little. she took off her gloves, touched the snow for too long, and started getting a lot of pain in her hands, and the fastest way to get her to warmth was to pick her up and carry her home. we had a huge backyard so imagine carrying like a small 4-6 year old human across a huge field of snow thats at Least 3 ft deep. she had frostbite but i managed to get her inside in time to warm up her hands. she caught pneumonia a while later i'm not sure if it was related.

- i'm the only one in my family who WASNT taken to the hospital regualrly for medical issues. my brother basically lived there (born with a cleft palete and asthma, so, yeah), my sib had asthma and knee issues (their knee would dislocate randomly based on the smallest activity), and my sister had asthma, split her head open and had to get it glued shut, and shes a horse girl now so she goes pretty regualrly to check if she broke this or that. so far every single injury hasnt been worse than a sprain thank god. also my mom and dad both have so many medical problems its insane. i was supposed to be the "normal" one with no problems. needless to say, the only "doctors" i've seen regularly are counsellors for "therapy".

- i have a huge attachment to plushies of animals because i love animals so much i want all of them but i cant have all of them </3 so a stuffie will do. my nanna used to work at a hershey factory in our hometown and they had free reese's and hershey beanie babies for us for easter and stuff :)

- i learned what gay peoole were due to mean girls (2004), i basically saw 2 girls kissing in the background (unsure if this is actually in the movie or i made it up) and i asked my mom why they were kissing, and she said sometimes girls kiss each other! and i remembered telling her that i was definitely someone who liked girls and wouldnt mind kissing them. YEEEARS later (despite having memory problems) she recalled this and found out i had a girlfriend in high school, which is how i ended up coming out. because of this, everyone automatically assmes i'm a lesbian even though i've told them i'm bisexual like 600 million times since then.

- (fucking obviously) i grew up going to catholic school from kindergarten to 6th grade. not because my parents are super religious, just, there were rules about which schools we were allowed to go to. my dad's side was catholic and my mom's side was assimilated into catholocism, but eventually broke away. my great aunt does geneology and traced back our ancestors to native roots, so she basically went from catholic to following native teachings immediately. we were taken to pow wows since i could remember, so, we definitely had it better than they did. despite the whities trying to take our culture from us, we're still here <3 still sharing our language and stories and music.

- i was raised by the tv and computer. quite literally. i had an incident when i was younger that caused my dad to distrust people, so i wasnt allowed over at friend's houses or to hang out with them unless they knew them super super well. because of this, i tried to understand social interaction through tv shows like dawson's creek and charmed. on the internet i would watch smosh and... (sigh) sh*ne d*wson and dan and phil and would treat it more like an entertaining break. i swear i was on the family computer for so long sometimes my dad would tell me to go to bed 900 times and i'd stay on until at LEAST 1 or 2 in the morning talking to the friends i made over the internet that i wasnt allowed to have in real life. those friends actually helped me learn how to talk to people like a normal human being!! i'm greatful to them every day and i still talk to them all the time ^_^

- i pretended to hate girly stuff when i was a kid to overcompensate my masculinity, but theres so many "girly" things i really like! i really liked playing house, i really liked playing with baby dolls, i really liked sundresses and nail polish and stuff, i just never liked when all that made me a "girl" according to others, and i didnt realize that was why at the time. egg moment 🥚🏳️‍⚧️

theres way more fhat may or may not be interesting but ^^; i think thats enough for now

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[satyrcon]

so the last time i did a post like this it was august 2022, so I'm just going to write about life since then...

2022

In September, I finally finished school and moved back home from my grandparents. Making the decision to move out of home for a bit quite honestly changed my life because it forced me to leave my room, change my routine completely and just really take a break from the hum-drum of the pandemic. Going back to school was also one of the best decisions I have ever made. But I was a little bit depressed, because returning home meant a return to reality, but at least I felt better equipped...

I started an internship that month. It was my real first "big girl job" experience. And the first few weeks were hell. I was fully remote, so that was definitely a blessing, but I totally underestimated how scary and how stressful starting a new job can be. I spent the first few weeks absolutely miserable, thinking I wasted a whole year going back to school. But it turns out, I was just being a big baby, and once I got my act together I ended up really enjoying what I did, and was super grateful for the lax schedule.

By November, the job offered me a short-term contract to continue working there part time and getting that news relieved so much anxiety within me. i finally felt as though i had won, and that i can finally stop running away...

The holidays were fantastic. it was the first time we could all be together without the fear of covid. I bought myself a new winter coat, and went on many walks.

i spent new years eve at a party with my boyfriend, we actually missed the countdown because everyone was having too much fun. i loved life in that moment

2023

the new year started off well. i was back at work, and enjoying it. i was working part time, so I always had fridays off. i rewatched girls and had a cathartic experience.

me and my boyfriend went up to his cottage a few times for a weekend getaway. which was very relaxing.

In february, i got some bad news that my contract for my new job would not be extended. It was expected, but it really bummed me out. I had gotten very comfortable with my schedule and routine. I cried, but realized that this is the first time in my life where I wouldn't be quitting, or getting fired from a job, that there was some dignity to be held, and that now I'm more equipped than ever to pursue something else. So i picked myself up from the ground and set a mission to find a new job by the beginning of April.

March was a bit of a dreamy month. With no more motivation at my current job, and the limitless ideas of the future, i took it easy. I took many walks, ate a diner by myself. My last day at my job was bittersweet, everyone wished me well, and it was great.

I was interviewing for a job that was my dream job. It had everything I wanted to do. And by some stroke of luck, I was interviewing, and succeeding. I spent nights shaking, trying to convince myself that it's a fluke, but it wasnt. I got the job, and was going to start by mid-April.

Before I started my new job, I attended the wedding of one of my childhood friends, I found out I was going to be an aunt, and enjoyed many evenings in the sun. the sun was shining past 6 o clock and it felt amazing.

My new job began, and i wasn't hoodwinked, it actually was what I had imagined it to be. And I was so happy. I finally got my drivers license, and i began practicing driving on the highway.

In the summer, we renovated our home, so I ended up moving back into my grandmothers. it was good to be back in an environment that did me so well a year ago. And i enjoyed it very much. I slipped into my old routines like nothing. I explored, hung out with friends, spent many nights with my boyfriend. Being at my grandmothers, i had an agency that was barely afforded to me when i was back at home. however, it didn't feel the same as it did the year prior. the timeline was shorter, and i knew, eventually, i would have to go home again.

my sister got engaged in august, and while i'm happy, i know that it was a defining moment. Things will never be the same. we're all grown up...

I moved back home in September, and it was a bit depressing. Work has increased in difficulty, but I was still enjoying my day-to-day. I pushed on.

October was a bit of a moody month. it got cold very quickly.

i turned 26, and felt that first pang of real "holy fuck i'm old". it's crazy to think that 10 years ago, i was 16, and not yesterday. And i'm still unsure how i feel about it - if its good or bad.

I have my days where i am so happy, and thankful, but sometimes i do want to regress into the past. wear my school uniform and show up to school to bullshit with my friends. it makes me sad that that time is really really over.

And now it's november, and, there isn't much going on. But I am happy

:)

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Thor's best friend + Týr's Fiance part 2

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Reader: female | Thor x sister-in-law Reader (Platonic)| Týr x reader (romantic eventually)

Notes: you guys liked the last one so heres the second part!, Freyr also comes in! So cool! Also týr heavy, not much thor this time! Sorry

Warnings: bitchy moms bitchy moms oh so bitch moms

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If you fully honest

You didnt remember what happened when you woke up the next day in bed with you sketch book and a few pages spewed on the bed with yourself and a pencil

You felt a large hand, an unfamiliar large hand fall on your shoulder as you stay fake sleeping, a blanket being brought further up your body as your hair was swipped back for comfort and that was all.

You hadnt even been changed out your outfit of last night.

You sat up

"I did not wish to wake you." Týr spoke, Y/n's sketch book in his hand, setting it on the desk.

"Oh...thank you." Y/n spoke softly.

"You are tired still. I would be as well." Týr chuckled, "we had quiet the night."

Y/n was silent looking around, "You take your work very seriously."

Y/n nodded, oh, drilling another project she supposed, picking up one of the left over sketches some quick, other's well consumed on time.

"Ah....I was having trouble with the beard..." Y/n responded looking over the sketch, "I uh. Was never too good at draw braids."

"I had heard of your work prior, I am certainly impressed."

Y/n nodded, "thank you. Its an ever-growing skill."

Y/n looked at the other pages casually, he watching her intently.

"Uh...yes?" Y/n asked nervously.

"Oh. Breakfast?"

"Uh. Sure..." Y/n responded.

He had brought you breakfast in bed

Thats awfully nice

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Yes. Its good." Y/n spoke, "did you make it?"

He made it indeed.

Still you feel akward eating lunch with this man.

Its a rough start, the trying to get to know you part

He figures, once he starts getting you to talk, you wont be able to stop

Its true in a way, you enjoyed talking about your pass time, and he enjoyed listening.

But besides that you didnt open up much.

"You and Thor are good friends."

"Since we were kids."

"It's nice then. To return after your long journey to friends."

Y/n looked down into her bowl, "I was on a journey. Is that what they told?"

"You're own mother-"

"She's just as bad as your father." Y/n complained, "Both compulsive liars."

"Misery is good company they say."

That caused her to chuckle, he wasnt wrong.

He likes your smile, and you enjoy his witty humor.

You could atleast be friends it seemed like, he's kind, and carring. Good sense of humor.

Also he wasnt like your mother so big plus

Deep deep deep down, you know that you could of become friends with Týr on your own if you werent forced to marry him.

You guys kinda are forced to spend the day together

You both do try and see the postive, but the postive would you not having to wear a dress, so you didnt and came out looking like a bad ass bitch.

So you spend your day together, mostly walking, and sitting, and talking.

Until kids run up to you

"You bested Thor!" One cheered, "me and my sister are gonna be Valkyires! We wanna be like you!"

"Yeah you were so cool!"

"The first male Valkyire?" Y/n asked.

"Yeah!" They cheered, "The Valkyire twins!"

Y/n chuckled, "Well. I am no Valkyire. But. I know a few. And Im sure one day you'll both best the best."

"Come on! Lets go tell mom!"

And they ran off together with happy goodbyes.

Cute. Kids are cute, sometimes

"You're good with them."

"Kids?" Y/n asked, "truth me told I still think Im one myself"

He likes that your comfortable

And you both contuine your talking

It doesn't last long, a charge of kids come at you

"Can boys really be Valkyires!?"

"I wanna be a Valkyire!"

"Me too!"

"Lets battle!"

"Yeah! Come on! If we beat you! We're sure to be Valkyires!"

Oh what have you done

Týr's laughing as a group of kids gang up on you

You have no choice but the crumble

They've resorted to tickling you now

But you wont let them win and chase them causing them to laugh and run.

He thinks it's really an eye opener to see how you are

Plus he thinks its really cute you with kids

Though he doesn't feel like its his place to ask your opinion on kids

Luckily you go through most of the walk without intruption

His talks of peace and all, really intrest you, he knows peace can brought on even without war.

You wish nothing but to agree with him, but you know how cruel people can be, he knows but still sees the postivey in them all.

You suppose no one wants to see there parents in that light, even the worst of them.

Changing the subject he ask what you'd like to do.

Your tempted to say drinking contest.

But end up saying drawing.

He'll admit he's not the best artist, but would love to contuine to spend the time with you

He's expecting a table, just drawing whatever you remember.

Not well. The adventure that comes with it

Climbing on the sea side cliffs, a dangerous but exilerating adventure.

Sure your both shuffling along but soon your jump from one cliff to another and he's worried you'll fall.

He soon learns this isnt your first rodeo, nor second. It's like you were born into this.

"Here we are," y/n spoke, hoping down onto the pebbly beach, "our subject matter and dinner."

Its a two in onw for sure, catching fish and drawing, intresting idea but for sure something he wouldnt mind doing again.

So you both sit together throughout the sunset and until the night takes over.

It wasnt so bad spending time with one another

You best be sure ya'll spendt the night on that beach.

The next morning you woke up on the beach, warm, and happily swaddled in large arms.

Tempted to go back to bed and temptation wins

You simply roll over and go back to sleep.

You wake up later in a bed.

How much later on you don't know, but you wake up alone and covered in thick blankets.

Sitting up you get out off bed, you're chlothes have been changed.

Your hair braided back for comfort

"You're up."

"Freya?"

She came over with a pot in hand, setting it on the bedside.

"Týr explained to me you were cold to the touch, he was afraid of any sickness." She explained, "thats what happens when you spend your night on a beach shoeless. Do you feel ill?"

"Oh. Uh. No. Im fine." Y/n told, "thank you."

She nodded, "drink this. For security."

Freya poured Y/n a cup, she thankful and took it.

"How are you two getting along?"

"We're fine....I still dont think of him as..."

"A partner?"

Y/n nodded, "Suppose I am selfish-"

"Its arranged. It's normal to feel such a way. With your conditions especially."

You were quiet as you drank your tea. So Freya knew about what happened to you...

She talks to you a bit more about Týr mostly, and you answer the best you could

Your little "date" with him yesterday didnt go bad after all

"He cares very much about you already. He finds you liberating."

"Whats that suppose to mean?"

"You dont find too many Aesir with hearts tainted that still hold true to there holder."

With that she leaves you, and Thor is walking in.

"I heard a colds the one kick your arse."

"Oh please." Y/n complained, "Come for another ass beatin then?"

"Can't I check on ny friend?"

Y/n shook her head playfully, drinking her tea looking out the nearby window.

"Its good to have you back."

Y/n looked his way, "its nice to be back. Within reason. Cant stand to look at your father or my mothers face for two fuckin seconds."

He laughs at that, and so do you

Its the truth in full honesty.

You cant balme him. Its fucking funny

Yet its all cut short when your mother walks in.

You manage to shoo thor away, as she closes the door behind him.

"Daughter."

She received silence, "Have you slept with him child?"

Y/n sipped her tea.

"Have you fucked thor."

"How the fuck am i suppose to sleep with Thor?" Y/n argued, "He's my friend-"

"What does your husband think about this-"

"He likes my fun." Y/n growled, "and he's not my husband."

"He will be within days time."

"He will be within days time."

"Dont you dare mock me. What are you? Five?"

"Oh please a five year old has more balls and intergerity than you'll ever have." Y/n argued.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, leaving Y/n to her own devices.

Gladly you were by yourself, with your sketch book on the bed side.

You grab it and look through it looking through yesterday sketches.

The pebble beach was the peice of the day, and some pages included small things you found along the way, a small crab, some seaweed, the fire you two had made

And you had even tried sketching Týr a few times, small portraits

Final you decide to get out of bed and get dressed.

You make your way around, finding Týr talking with Sif.

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Sif hey."

"Y/n." She smiled with a quick bow of the head in acknowledgement, "I'll leave you to be."

Y/n watched her leave, "I am glad you are feeling better.

She looked up at Týr and smiled small, "just cold feet it all. You two talking bout smart people stuff?"

"Uh. A book." He responded.

"Which one?"y/n asked trying to make conversation, "Im assuming there is no war in it?"

It went silent, she confused and raised an eyebrow, "you good?"

"I apologize for lying to you." He started.

"Huh?"

"I was rather asking how to woo you. You seem great friends with Thor, I suppose me and Sif are much more alike in that aspect of partner ship."

Y/n laughed it a cute sentiment: "very thoughtful of you. You want...an opinion? I would consider myself an expert."

"Very much I would."

"be yourself." Y/n smiled softly up at him, " but dont be afraid to ak me the hard questions. I can take em."

He chuckled, a smooth lightheared sound, "then may I ask: would we have been lovers on a diffrent path? One that is not arranged."

Y/n hummed, "i suppose blunt honesty is how I woo you?"

"Most certainly," he smiled, his fingeds coming up to tilt her chin up.

Despite his large form he was soft, and careful, and his touch could make anyone melt.

"I don't know." Y/n answered finally, "Truth be told Im surpised we even get along on the path we're currently on."

"And why do you say that?"

"I did beat your brothers ass at the accounment dinner."

Týr chuckled once more, "I believe that is what started our friendship."

You could only smile at him.

Then realized what the fuck was happening: your sharing your feelings, your open, your melting at a simple chin lift.

Your....developing a crush kinda sort off...

Oh fuck no

So you pull away, telling him you should...go...and well do something

You dont exactly know what your doing but your running away basically

To do what? To hide from your feelings

Top ten places to hide is the wheat farms especially when there ready to be harvested and its all tall.

Soon enough who you thought was Freya comes along with a baby dragon.

"Looks like we have a guest. Y/n? Right?"

"Yeah?"

"Im Freyr. Freyas brother."

"Oh. Nice to meet you."

He took a seat without a care, commented on the sky and got to chatting right away, the baby dragon coming into your lap to play

"Ready for the big day?"

"No."

"Eh. No one ever is."

"I dont want to marry him." Y/n complained, "not now."

"Well then dont." Freyr spoke, "its that easy isnt it?"

"Unfortunately not." Y/n responded.

"Well why not?" He asked, she shrugged.

"Just. Isnt..."

"But you do wanna marry him?"

"Well. No."

"You said not now."

"I can see why Freya is the one that does all the talking,"

"Ooo, ouch." He hissed, "Someone got a little defensive."

"Is there a point? To your madness?"

"Theres always a point to madness is there not? Madness is what makes the world move forward."

"You are confusing."

"Thanks." He smiled settling down in the wheat, his body relaxed with the sun casting down on him, "lay back would you? Your blocking the sun."

Y/n sighed and scooted over allowing the sun to hit him, she just stared at him.

"You gonna ask me a question? Or ya gonna sit there and stare? I know Im beautiful."

Y/n sighed, "what happens if I do love him? I do marry him? My mother wins..."

"Ah yes. I hate her just as much as you do."

"You do?"

"Mhm. My sister and her got into it. While back." Freyr explained, "she hurt her is all I can say. Nasty blow out really."

"So I let her win?"

"From what I know of her she likes control, your out here. Sitting in a feild with another man. And a dragon." Freyr explained turning on his side, "has Týr expressed anything he likes about you to you? I know he has to Freya. Its yap yap yap since the moment he saw you. Yap Y/n Yap Y/n. Did you know Y/n draws? Yap yap yap. Just like that."

Y/n chuckled, the baby dragon gumming on her hand: "I suppose he does like that Im me...without my mother."

"Hm." Freyr hummed, "your mothers miserable anyways. Fuck it, do what you want. What makes you happy."

Y/n hummed in thought, "cheese sounds like it, it would make me happy right now."

Freyr looked at her, "that does sound good."

And thats how you became friends with Freyer, eating cheese outside the meed hall.

Your laughing with him, talking about things: life

Hes talking about his home realm, the beauty of it even inviting you to come

"Hey maybe you'll come on Honeymoon"

"Oh please."

You guys talk until night has long ago fallen.

So late that you hand over the dragon to him because it fell asleep when you part diffrent ways.

You return back to your room being quiet as possible, your sure everyones asleep at this hour.

Týr had fallen asleep with a book in your shared bed

You were quick to change into your bedware, quietly at that too, doesnt help you tripped over your own shoes

You grabbed the book from the bed and marked it for him putting it off to the side as he had many times for her.

Then carefully climbed over him, to find yourself a spot beside him before falling asleep.

[chaos-deimos-et-eris]

a lot of historical costumers loved or at the very least understood the costumes of season 1 and 2 though. they understood it wasnt meant to be accurate but fun and still invoked the time period though general silhouette. the only complaint i heard was one person wishing they do more with the guys clothing. but season 3 went too far. it apparently destroyed the silhouette, the hair was off, the makeup was too much.

so what, you say, the clothes have never been right before! i dont study regency clothes nor do i watch Bridgerton so i cant speak for that but i did once read a history fantasy webtoon. it wasnt set to an era besides old and the clothes was all over the place silhouette wise and the hair was never up much less covered and they had more makeup than was available and the less said about the shoes the better but it was ok because this was fantasy. until that dreaded episode. the female lead had been upstaging her opponent in clothing every episode and this time when she ripped off her floor length coat she revealed a dress with a mini skirt. it was terrible and the plot had her in pants the previous show off. i knew historically the only people that could get away with a hem anywhere that high were children. expect that even then she was missing important layers. so there the main character stood in the equivalent to a diaper. i could not continue reading. i loved that story and gave it a lot of fashion leway but that one scene took me out like a well placed bullet between the eyes. because they set the precedence of acceptable fashion and that was not it. it broke my suspension of disbelief more than the magic even if of the two, mini skirts are real.

the problem seems to be not that they dont understand how costuming works. they were fine with earlier seasons. but it seems that season 3 strayed too far from the rules season 1 set, and they knew enough about the subject that it bothered them even when others were fine. so dont say that historical customers do not care for work if its not accurate. they know about when its not the point. they know about not having the time or money. they seemed to be most bothered when things are clearly going for historical but are sloppily done. having all the layers but clearly no corset. having no shift underneath the corset. the dreaded corset tightening scene. having a singular character with their hair down when they are fashion conscious/have strict parents because g l o w u p. everyone being accurate but the bad guys are dressed head to toe in biker gang leather. there are other shows that established boundaries far from accurate from the get go and stick with them that have been pretty much beloved by historical customers. the great comes to mind.

this happens with all people with their special interests. im officially banned from watching movies that ive already read the book to. my sister cannot watch movies primarily about mental illnesses because she studied those and the misrepresention has her ranting for hours on end. a friend can not do tom holland spiderman. i cannot watch teen titans go. another friend will call me to cry about inaccuracies about viking clothing when every other character in his game is historically accurate. another recently got really into horses and had her first "oh no thats the wrong horse" moment the other day and we just watched something else. if it really bothers u that much, block them. the algorithm will eventually get you dont want to see that type of thing anymore

My YT and IG keep recommending me the same person complaining about the bridgerton costumes and I'm like.... then why are you still watching it why are you putting all this time into it!!

They got invited to an official event and wore a bridgerton-style ahistorical gown as.... a gotcha? Maybe? About how BadWrong it was? And like maybe if u leaned in more to the shiny fabrics and swan wigs you'd have more fun!!

[drdemonprince]

I remember when my first book went to auction, it was an incredibly exciting day. I had been working on the proposal with my agent for months, rounds upon rounds of revisions, buffing it into absolute perfection. We sent it off. Within a few days six different editors were interested. I had hourlong phone interviews with the editorial teams of each publishing house. They all gave me a high pressure grilling on my ideas for the book, my writing approach, my plans for marketing upon publication. One editor asked me to list which books I imagined my own sitting among, if I could curate the exact right bookshelf.

The interviews went well. Four publishers announced their intention to make a bid on the day of the auction. I sat in a coffee shop buzzing with excitement as my agent received all the calls. Eventually she called me up and gave me the full rundown of the offers that had come my way. The advance amounts, the potential bonuses, the terms of the agreements. I jotted down notes excitedly with her, and texted my boyfriend, my sister, and my mom.

My mom and sister got right back to me. They were so excited. I texted back and forth with them about the offers that had been made. There was a clear best choice but I discussed it with them anyway. Every editor and publisher has their strengths, their pitfalls, their wheelhouse and style. I told them what my decision was. They hyped me up in the family group chat. I called up my agent and gave her the final word. It was official. I was going to be an author.

I walked home and called my mom up and gave her the full rundown. Explained to her how the process would work. I was so delighted. It had been a while and my boyfriend had not texted me back yet. I walked home hoping to find him, hoping he had been napping or something, hoping when he woke he would be so happy and proud for me too.

He wasnt home. My heart sunk. I sat by the window refreshing my phone. I wanted to text something else to him but what more was there to say? I'd already told him the big exciting news and had gotten no reaction. Of course he could be busy or tied up with something. But the time wore on and nothing happened and I just stood, stood at the window, staring ten stories down at the parking lot beneath me and my mood and my thoughts both became very dark.

After a good while had passed, I called him up on the verge of sobbing. He answered after a few rings. He had seen my message. He hadnt replied. His voice was flat and neutral. He was not excited for me. I asked if we could go out later that afternoon to celebrate.

It was the kind of thing I'd hoped he would suggest organically on his own. I'd been a writer the entire time that he'd known me. Becoming an author was a tremendous event. But he was not excited. I don't know if it was jealousy because he was also an artist, or if it was something else. My transition, our growing physical distance. The many dead-end conversations we'd had about him not contributing to our bills significantly, and how me having this new financial windfall made him feel. The grinding anhedonic depression he'd always had. I don't know. It doesn't matter. What matters is I needed him to be happy for me and he was not, he gave no reaction, and for an hour I stood by the window willing him to give a shit about me and staring down at the long distance to the pavement.

He agreed to go out to celebrate with me. I told him the usual place that we went for our birthdays. A place we both loved. He asked me what time. I suggested a few options, feeling like I was putting him out. He agreed to an early time, maybe four or five pm. I hung up the phone. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

We ate dinner. I got a cocktail. He didn't want one. Everything felt empty and pathetic. I was pantomiming happiness and chatted all about the deal but he didnt really ask questions and his mood never lifted much. And then we were done. And I think he had somewhere to be after that. Some meeting or rehearsal. So then he was gone and I was back home alone with my thoughts.

There is nothing I can be afraid of in my relationships to others that has not already happened to me. I spent years waiting around for someone to find love for me again long after it had extinguished. Waiting for it and longing for it and imagining it filled me with incredible anguish. And now that waiting is done, forever. I am a sensitive person who needs a lot of affection and attention and fears rejection and abandonment, and I have been through objectively worse things, but damn, did that one hurt me and take me to some really bleak mental places. nothing i did, nothing i achieved, nothing i asked for or waiting for or advocated for or became or improved in myself was ever enough. it never filled the void and it never made me find love.  I came through it. I survived. And eventually I learned nobody needs to be with a person like that. Being with someone who makes you feel like that never made anyones life better. and chasing after something that’s not there is only going to make you feel worse.