#but that was my spark of inspiration for this edit

[papayafiles]

simple like 2019: a carlando edit

[spark-circuit]

last post on the Sweepers for now i promise, but it's 5AM and i had to get this out of my head

[doggerell]

I just keep looking at this like wow.. lightroom is so awesome

[locklyle1kanij]

The urge to make a locklyle edit to this is is so huge but i don’t think i will live up to my mind plans for it

[prismit]

dead cells show looks sooo ugly but aside from that it does look fun to watch ngl.... i feel so conflicted

[seouljazzbar]

GO WITH IT

MARK LEE (이민형)

ABOUT 𓂃 ࣪˖ “have sex with me so I can finish writing this” inspired by this tweet or when mark offers to solve all your problems, it's much better to go with it

WARNING 𓂃 ࣪˖ language, mark is a bit of a slut, 18+ spiderman kiss (you’ll see lmao), allusions to fat cock mark… 😵‍💫, overstimulation, unprotected sex, mark’s name repeated like 78 times (no seriously, it’s up there), reader bent like a pretzel, orgasm denial, this author loves a comma, a pinch of softdom!mark, silly ending

PAIRING 𓂃 ࣪˖ bestfriend!mark x bestfriend!reader

WORD COUNT 𓂃 ࣪˖ 6k

AUTHOR'S NOTE 𓂃 ࣪˖ a little surprise drop for my favorite neo! i guess it's also a wee bit of a belated birthday gift to him :) i skimmed it for typos and stuff but i unfortunately did not edit it the way i should have, sorrryyyyy hope y'all enjoy! omg also reader's room is yu nabi's from the kdrama nevertheless hehehe

Nobody was busier than your best friend, Mark Lee. Between his job, his vibrant social life, and his weekly family dinners, you were lucky to be offered a slot in his schedule. It was always a yes to Mark Lee. Usually.

The last three times Mark had tried to make plans with you were all failed attempts, and the excuses varied each time. There was nothing shameful about the truth, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that your friendship was being thrown to the backburner while you sloppily attempted to get your life together. He knew all about your small business, taking commissions for art prints and ceramics, but he had no idea how much time and effort went into each piece. Besides, knowing Mark he would offer to help, and that wasn’t going to be of service to you in the slightest. 

All you could do was rot in bed, hoping that something would spark your creative mind to no avail. Frustration was starting to take up every corner of your mind— from the nonstop orders that you couldn’t fulfill, to your supplier raising prices, to the fact that you hadn’t had a good date in two years. You were wound too tight to function, and any minute now you were going to start pulling your hair out in chunks.

The sound of the pin-pad at your door let you know that Mark was about to come barreling through. There were so many times that you’d be in strict creation mode, headphones in at full blast while Mark banged at the door pleading for you to answer; when it started to feel like a normal part of your routine, he just requested the code to let himself in. “Yo!”

Except, this time, none of that was necessary. Your headphones were stuffed in their case on the other side of the room, workstation completely untouched with your multiple projects stacked on top of each other. Despite the custom orders piling up over the last two weeks, you hadn’t had the artistic strength to move forward with any of them. The only thing you could do to  buy yourself a little time was to post a message asking for patience and understanding while you navigate some vague emotional hardship. Realistically, though, it would only buy you another week or so before people would start to get angry. 

“Hi.” Perched on a stool near the kitchen island, eyes locked on the cup of coffee you warmed up seventeen minutes ago, you were out of it.

Mark waved a few inches from your face, trying to get your full attention. “Hello? Earth to ___, are you okay?”

You snapped out of it, looking over at your best friend to see that he was dressed for a night on the town. “Sorry, got a lot on my mind right now.”

White, distressed tank top, loose plaid button-up undone, and his sexiest pair of black jeans. The way the meticulous curls fell around his face, looping around his forehead in a way that feigned boylike wonder. He looked oh so delicious, but you would never tell him that— his ego was big enough for the both of you. “Anything I could help with?”

A stifled chuckle barely reached his ears before you cleared your throat, turning toward him with renewed energy. “No, not really.”

Mark put his phone and keys down on the counter, taking a quick intermission to wash his hands before walking back over to you. He’d never been in your apartment in this way before— an unannounced hangout where you’re clearly just a stop along the way, being so underdressed in his presence. He’d seen you in a swimsuit before, but something about a big shirt and underwear felt far more intimate than the two strips of fabric. “This is like the third time you’ve curved me, if you hate me just say that.”

“Oh, you’re so fucking dramatic. I’m just busy.” You shoved at his shoulder, urging him to take a seat so you wouldn’t feel so awkward with him standing over you. He refused cooly, taking a look around your apartment to make sure you hadn’t been aimlessly rotting since the last time he stopped by.

“Even I'm not that busy. What’s going on?”

“I’ve just…” You sighed heavily, a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. Talking about everything wrong in your life felt far too heavy, too much to divulge to a friend seemingly just doing a wellness check. “I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and I’ve got all these creative blocks that won’t go away and honestly I just need to be fucked like properly fucked to get my juices flowing again but all of the men worth giving it up to are in hiding.”

Mark stood there, mouth agape in disbelief. He did ask, after all. “Woah.”

“Yeah.” It felt embarrassing to hear laid out like that, but there weren’t too many secrets between you and Mark in the first place. Your sex lives weren’t off limits for discussion, and the two of you had plenty of chats that were NSFW in nature. But blurting out how badly  you needed to be railed? That was a new one.

The silence spoke for itself, apparently. You didn’t want to chance a glance up at him, but you knew that you’d have to say something. Maybe something to cover your ass, let him know that you’re well aware how ‘TMI’ that was. Or even—

“I’ll fuck you.”

You nearly choked on air,“What?!” Now you had no choice but to look at him, scanning the twinkle in his eyes in search of sincerity.

“I’m really good, too.” He took a step towards you, eyes never leaving yours as his hands found home in his shirt pockets. This was a side of Mark you rarely got to see— charming, smooth, confident. There were times, namely on nights out, where you’d get a taste of it, watching him chat it up in some dark corner with the prettiest girl you’d ever laid eyes on. But this, being on the receiving end? Watching his eyes drink you in like sweet tea on a balmy Southern summer afternoon? It was enough to make your heart skip several beats. 

“Mark—”

The smile he cracks at you makes you embarrassed for even considering it. “I’m just messing with you, geez,” Heat takes over your face as you try to hide it from him, palms rubbing at your cheeks as your heartbeat tries to find its resting rate. “Although, given that reaction, maybe I shouldn’t be.”

“Shouldn’t be what?”

“Messing with you. Joking, rather. I can definitely mess with you, if you want,” Running so hot and cold in such a short window of time has you shivering under his gaze, scared to make the wrong move and ruin what you’d beg him for. “Hm? Is that what you want?”

The air is thick with anticipation, nothing but the consistent drip from a ceiling leak as the soundtrack to your staring contest with Mark. He was so close to you in all of his Friday night glory, cologne a cloud around you as the heat from his chest permeated your personal space. You were certain that just one taste, just one night in the throes of passion with a curly haired Mark Lee would solve all of your problems. If you closed your eyes, you could picture it— sweaty bodies intertwined amidst the sweltering heat of your studio after dark, the fanning of his breath in your face as he rocks into you, his strong frame caging you into the bed so all you can focus on is Mark, Mark, Mark! His sighs and whines of pleasure flooding your senses so they’re all you can pay attention to, just his voice and his unrelenting pace as he— “___,” The sound of your name on his tongue snapped you out of your lustful haze. “Offer’s about to expire, baby.”

Mark slipped his jacket off without breaking away from you, dropping it carelessly on the floor while your attention wandered to his arms. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, crossing his arms against his chest as he awaited your answer. “You’re serious? This isn’t some cruel prank where if I say yes, you’ll tell me it was just a joke?”

“That’s not my idea of a prank, princess, where’s the fun in that?” Mark licked his lips, a faint smirk taking over. “Look, if you’re uncomfortable, we can pretend this never happened,” His fingers ghost along the side of your face, sweetly making their way to your lips. “But if it were up to me? I’d have you seven ways to Sunday all over this apartment.”

That was all you needed to lunge into a kiss with him, throwing him slightly off guard as you practically tossed yourself into his arms. But his lips were ready for you, steaming hot and sopping wet— just the way you like it. The smush of your lips together so suddenly garnered the sweetest moan from him, just enough to tease you of what’s to come. His arms wrapped around your torso like a claw machine, pulling you so flush against him as though he was afraid you’d slip through his fingers. 

Your lips were still tingling as he pulled away to lap kisses against your neck, peppering anywhere his lips could reach. “M-Mark, hmngh.”

It was no secret that Mark had a bit of a reputation in the bedroom, but you never thought you’d witness it firsthand. His hands delved blindly to your legs, hoisting you around his waist so he could move you over to your bed. You almost had a mind to remind him of the three big steps up to your bedroom area, but he was far suaver than you gave him credit for— this wasn’t exactly his first rodeo.

He tossed you on the bed, the slight recoil exhilarating before he was all over you again. “If a proper fuck is what you want…” His kisses had shifted to your chest, lips and tongue sucking in the essence of your skin like he couldn’t bear not to. He was almost more excited than you were, his touch reaching anywhere and everywhere all at once, like he couldn’t get enough of exploring everything you had to offer. It was all starting to feel real as Mark made a move to lift up your shirt and the implication of your best friend seeing you naked caught up with you.

“Wait, wait. We’re gonna see each other naked.”

Mark, with the fabric of your shirt caught in his teeth, stared at you blankly. “Yeah…” 

“Shouldn’t that be weird?”

He rolled his eyes playfully, squeezing at your hip with the hand closest to it. “Maybe, but how do you suggest we fuck then? Through my jeans?” He pulled your body swiftly down the mattress so you could feel how hard he was through your panties. 

“Shut the fuck up, oh, my God.”

“I was trying to before you got all weird and jittery,” Mark made a move for your shirt again, and this time you didn’t fight him on it. The balmy air hit your pert nipples the second they were exposed, and Mark couldn’t stop the gruff  noise that formed in his throat. “Just as pretty as I imagined.” You squirmed at the compliment, cheeks heating up at the sight of him drooling over you. “Like that? Hm? Are you my pretty girl?” 

His lips wrapped around the peak of your breast, tongue swirling to the same pattern his thumb and forefinger followed on your other nipple. “Yes!” It was embarrassing, how fast you succumbed to his commands. He struck with confidence, maneuvering his way around your body like he’d done it before. “I’m your pretty girl.”

“So sexy saying that for me, baby,” Your legs part instinctually to make more room for him, and Mark took that as his sign to shift gears. “You know… sometimes, every now and then, I’d think about you. If I needed a little extra push towards ecstasy, you’d pop in my head. Think about the way you’d look if I got my hands on you. How you’d feel, how you’d taste,” His fingers prodded at the growing wet patch on your underwear. “Gonna let me see?”

Your back arched off the mattress, hands pulling him impossibly closer to you. “Mark, please stop asking, just do it.”

“Mm, say ‘please’ again.”

“Mark!”

His laugh would be even sexier if it weren’t at your expense. “Alright, fine.” Your panties stayed on as his tongue lapped at your folds through them, the flimsy cotton doing absolutely nothing to stop him from devouring you. You jerked at the feeling as his tongue licked a bold strip through your folds, your hands entangling themselves in his curly locs. “You’re so wet, holy shit.”

One quick motion moved your panties to the side, puffy wet lips on full display for his greedy eyes. His eyes sparkled at the sight, mouth watering at the mere thought of getting to taste you. “Smell so good, pretty girl.” He was so hungry and you were the only one who could satiate him. His tongue had a mind of its own, pressing flat against your folds without a second thought, “Taste even better.”

Mark’s grip on your thighs held you in place as he licked you clean, running his tongue against every nerve-ending he could feel for. He pulled them apart just enough to spread you out for him, just enough to be on full display for him. Your taste occupied every corner of his mind as he blacked out in pleasure, lapping up every drop your gushing pussy offered up.

He circled your clit until you saw stars, your squirming uncontrollable as his tongue darted inside of you. “You’re so good to me.”

Mark groaned between your thighs, in love with the praise you were showering him with. There was something about how natural and seamless it was for you to compliment him that turned him on even more, if that was possible. “I don't think I'll ever get enough of how you taste, Christ.”

His free hand slithered up your torso, sinking his thumb into your eager mouth while his continued working at your core. He wasn’t shy, either, licking boldly from your ass to your clit while shaking his tongue side to side. Slurping up every drop that dribbled out of your entrance, twisting his tongue as far inside of you as he could reach. You were dripping down his chin by the time he introduced his fingers, prodding at your glistening hole with just one to test the waters. He took the way you gripped onto his hair as his sign that you were more than enjoying it. “F-feels good, oh, God.”

“Mm, don’t be shy.”

Laving at your clit, he drank up the praises the way he was drinking you up. He only pulled away to fully discard your panties, diving back into center with renewed vigor. “Need more.” You didn’t want to push him any closer to you, scared you’d smother him, but he didn’t seem afraid to drown. He’d awoken something desperately greedy inside of you, and you were slipping further into a haze of pleasure with every passing moment. Two fingers pressed their way inside of you, pumping slowly to get you adjusted before the jerk of your hips told him to pick up the pace. You couldn’t hold still with the way he was devouring you, mouth and hands prying you open deliciously all for his enjoyment. He would die between your thighs if you let him, you’re sure of it.

You had to physically pull him off of you to get him to stop, orgasming bubbling inside of you in record time. “Want you inside of me already.” The entirety of the lower half of his face was a sticky mess of your arousal, from his nose to his chin completely covered in you. “Bro, you need to wipe… that.” Times like these, you were glad that you kept tissues on your nightstand.

“You cannot and will not call me ‘bro’ now that I know what you taste like. How insulting.”

It hadn’t dawned on you that Mark was still fully dressed, sans his plaid jacket-shirt that was curled in a sad pile on the floor. “Is that an order?”

He bit at his lip, eyes darkening as he drank in your bare figure sprawled beneath him. Your hands ran themselves up and down his arms, finally getting a chance to admire his body after all the focus was turned to you. Maybe it was the lighting, the way his hair fell over his eyes, or just the fact that he was the best kisser you’d had the pleasure of test driving— but he looked divine. Halo of light circling his head as he fumbled with his belt, biceps flexing as he lifted the tank top off of his lean frame. Suddenly, he wasn’t your friend anymore; he was something new entirely.

You were so lost in your own adoration of him that you hadn’t noticed he was undressed, pulling you directly underneath him as he kissed at your collarbones. “Where’d you go off to, huh?”

“It’s nothing,” you shook your head, snapping back to reality (which was so much better than whatever was going on in your will they-won’t they fantasy). “Thank you, for this.”

Mark didn’t respond with words, instead opting to kiss you softly, tenderly. Slowly, deeply, passionately kissing you as he lowered himself atop of you. He wasn’t in a rush anymore, pulling you into him like you were made of glass, grinding against your center like you had all the time in the world. Everything was so delicate, like he was savoring the moment for years to come. It scared you, if you were being honest. “Mark? You know you can still kiss me while you’re inside of me, yeah?”

He hummed in approval, connecting your mouths again in a slow, languid kiss, tongues slithering into each other's mouths and twisting messily. You could feel him lining up with your entrance, his hand wrapped around his girth to guide himself into you steadily. Chancing a look down, you tried to hide the way your eyes bulged out at the sheer size of him— he would never let you hear the end of it if you fawned over how huge he was. It took all of your willpower to remain still, your body welcomed him as though it had hundreds of times, the shape of him slotting inside of you like he was made to. His fingers tangled in your hair, angling your head so he could travel to your neck, groaning out his praise against your sticky skin. The absence of his lips on yours made you whine, hands wandering the expanse of his back just for confirmation that this was real. “Tell me how it feels.”

You couldn’t. Months of the worst dry spell you’d ever experienced coming to a head with Mark milking you for everything you had couldn’t be described. All you could do was moan, coiling around him even tighter as he started to rock his hips forward as though he was testing the waters. He was the only thing you could focus on— his scent, his taste, they way his nose pressed right against yours, the feeling of his fingers intertwining with yours against the mattress, the dionysian desire his hips were fulfilling. It was all just Mark, Mark, Mark. “Mark!” His teeth couldn’t resist nipping at your lip, pulling on it playfully before letting go to let his tongues soothe the area.

“I can’t help it, you’re so fun to play with.” He kissed you to make up for the quick dot of pain, relishing in the way you immediately kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm.

“I’m, I’m close.”

He spread your legs further apart to give himself more room to buck his hips, pressing at your thighs as he fucked into you faster. “Hold it.”

“Whyyyy?”

“You asked for the Mark Lee experience,” His thrusts grew pointed, almost exaggerated as his hips drove forward with precision, “and I’m gonna give it to you.”

You could feel yourself teetering dangerously close to the edge, stomach coiled tight and lungs working overtime. The mere thought of being denied your orgasm was getting you worked up— you hate not getting your way. Your legs wrapped around Mark’s waist, locking your ankles together for good measure. If he wanted to play games, you were down for it. “Harder.”

But instead of faster, Mark slowed to a complete stop, hands drifting down to your hips to pin them to the mattress. “Oh, baby, do you think I’m stupid?” He chuckled in your face, shaking his head as the laughter subsided. “That’s a sure fire way to get nothing.”

“Wait, no, please! I didn’t mean it.”

The damage had already been done. His patience with you was wearing thin, and he didn’t take kindly to disobedience. “Have you learned your lesson?” Each second that passed stole a piece of your orgasm away with it, that delicious ball of tension and heat simmering down to a cool pit of nothing the longer Mark held your hips down. Your heart stopped fluttering with urgency, slowing to its resting rate as you dealt with the consequences of trying to outsmart your best friend. “Speak up, baby.”

“Yes,” You hissed out, annoyed that your declaration of needing to be fucked was currently going unanswered. Who is he to deny you of the very thing he promised you? “I learned my lesson.”

It was exactly what he wanted to hear, “God, you’re so sexy when you behave yourself.” 

You rolled your eyes, slapping his chest as he pulled away from you entirely. “What happened to ‘having me seven ways to Sunday all over this apartment’?” 

It was Mark’s turn to roll his eyes, fingers running through his hair as he sat back on his heels. “Up against the wall.” You did as he said, spreading your hands against the wall as you felt him behind you, lining himself up with your sodden entrance. The inward arch felt unnatural at first, but you settled into it as you got comfortable in it. “Look up at me.” Mark was towering over you, quite literally. From this angle, all you had to do to see his face was look up and there he was with that devilish smile. His cock pressed into you as you watched him, the sheer thickness splitting you clean open for him, sucking him in like your pussy had been waiting for him. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Maybe it was the taboo of sleeping with a friend, but your body was on fire. You felt your entire body heating up at the sudden change in his demeanor, switching your flirty best friend to a man absolutely starved. With your eyes screwed shut, you reached a hand out to hold onto his arm, fingers giving it a squeeze, head bumping the bare skin of his chest.

“Fuck.”

You were even wetter than you were while he had you pinned to the mattress, the feeling of being filled by him more electrifying after a brief intermission. He was all over you again and that was all that mattered, walls tightening around him with a vice-like grip that had both of you gasping for air.

“Shit,” he hiss, already lost in the sensation, “so good to me, ___, so fucking good.” He emphasized the last syllable with a gentle thrust that had your nails scratching at the wall. Your orgasm was building back up faster than you would’ve liked it to, considering you knew Mark wouldn’t let you cum so soon after denying you.

It hit you deeply, in all the right places at the right angle. Mark was that good from the start, and you couldn’t believe you’d been missing out on it. If you knew he was this goof, you would’ve ruined the friendship ages ago. “So fucking deep, Mark, keep going like that,” you moaned, just as caught up as he was.

He captured your lips in a searing kiss, fucking into you with much more vigor than before, gripping your ass with such force you half expected to see the dents after. You moaned all you had to say, all you had to feel into each other’s mouths. When his velvety tongue enveloped yours you could almost taste the remnants of your arousal and the chocolate muffin he ate right in between sweeping and mopping. The water was still running, hitting part of his back and your leg.

You couldn’t pull away from him even if you tried— he was a part of you now, molded into each other’s bodies until you became one. “Wanna keep fucking you forever,” he groaned, pouring his all into every touch. “Keep you on me forever.”

It threw you for a loop. Keep you forever? Mark was a lot more emotional than he let on, sure, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he meant it in ways other than platonic. You couldn’t even stop him to ask what he meant by that because he was so deep in your guts that you were starting to feel him in your throat. 

“Don’t stop,” you cried out, biting your lip when he hit a certain spot inside you and kept hitting it over and over again— the taste of blood didn’t stop you. “Don’tstopdon’tsopdon’tstop-”  

“Fuck,” he whisper, voice strained and raspy, smacking at your ass before gripping it and bringing you down to meet his increasingly harsh thrusts, the slap echoing throughout your studio apartment. “Wanna fuck you forever, baby.” One hand kept its vice grip on your hip while the other grasped at your neck, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. “Gimme a kiss, pretty girl.” Your lips found his despite the blurring of your vision, a supple lock as he steadied rocking into your core. Kissing him upside down felt worlds away from the first kiss you shared with him, and yet you still couldn’t get enough of it. The hand on your hip slithered up to cup your breast, rolling your nipple as he pulled away from the kiss. “So obedient.”

All the shame had disappeared from your body, the satisfaction of finally being fucked numbing you to his quips completely. His name was on the tip of your tongue, begging to be set free, but the way his hips ricocheted off your ass made you short circuit. Your skin was hot to the touch, goosebumps littering the expanse of your body as your toes curled around the fabric of your duvet. 

“Who knew you were such a dirty girl, hm?” Mark tutted. You hold back your moans, reveling in the sensation of his tip sliding up and down you dripping folds. Interrupting his own rhythm just to get a rise out of you, giving you no warning before shoving himself right back in. 

“Bet this was your plan all along,” You ignore the fact that he technically initiated all of this, too blissed out to snap back at him cheekily. “Dripping all over my cock, fuck.” He’s thinking out loud, eyes locked at the way your pussy invites him in, grip unrelenting with each thrust. He drew his hips back again to repeat the same unforgiving tempo, laughing to himself at the way your thighs shake in anticipation.

“Wanted this for so long.” You whine, bashful about the confession rolling off your tongue so easily. Mark had always occupied a special part of your mind, but the barrier of your friendship with him always kept you from thinking of him in that way for too long. He’s hot, sure, and one of the most genuine guys you’d ever met— but risking that by dating him felt too stupid to risk.

Mark didn’t keep you waiting for too long, filling you to the brim with one stroke that had your toes curling. You gasp, a shiver running up your spine as he adopts a frenzied pace that nearly knocks you into the wall in front of you. “You’re so fucking warm.”  He can’t help but moan out at the feeling, clutching onto your hips as he pistons in and out of you. Blunt fingers digging into your skin as you let your body fall forward. You felt so full.

“Mark, fuck.” you whine, probably a tad too loud considering how thin the walls feel at night but you couldn’t help it, with the way he held onto you and fucked you like he had never had good pussy in his life. “Faster.”

“Where’d your manners go? Say ‘please’.” He teased, testing your obedience despite knowing you’d obey him. There was just something about knowing he held your pleasure in the palm of his hands, knowing that you’d do anything he asked of you. 

“Please, please, please Mark, need you so bad.” It sounded  pathetic, and it only makes Markn screw his eyes shut as he fucks you harder. All control lost as he watches the drool drip from your mouth down the wall— he was really fucking your brains out.

Mark's rough groans were slowly morphing  into needy moans, the sound causing even more slick to build up between your legs. “Taking my cock like such a good girl.” And you really were, considering you had nothing but the wall to grip onto, you let your body go wherever Mark led it. Each thrust sending you closer and closer to your climax, his dick hitting every single spot that you’re sure you’d see stars.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck.”

“You’re gonna cum? Mm, you can cum. Cum all over my dick, lemme see that pretty face.” You arched inward one last time for him, looking up at the man sending you to heaven and back on a loop. “There you go. Good fucking girl.” Mark smacked your ass sharply, holding onto your ass as he switched his rhythm to harsh, precise thrusts that were sure to throw you over the edge of pleasure. He kissed your forehead as the growing tension in the pit of your stomach snapped, your walls contracting around him in a tight frenzy that nearly triggered his own. He didn’t slow down, though. The clutching of pussy did absolutely nothing to deter him from fucking you with the same rigor, hips just as quick as they were before he finally let you cum.

“M-Mark, I don’...” The aftershocks of ecstasy silenced you in your tracks, the sparks of pleasure like electricity through your bloodstream. “Don’t stop.”

He laughed at the change of your tune, thumb flitting down to flick at your clit. “Baby needs more? Haven’t had enough yet?”

Even with him poking fun at your desperation, you were too drunk on his cock to care. All you could manage was a chorus of fuck me, fuck me, fuck me as Mark held you flush against him. “God, yes, fill me up like that.” Your arousal was dripping all over the inside of your thighs, the sticky slick glistening under the moonlight that peaked through your curtains. 

“That’s right, I’m not fucking done with you yet, pretty girl.” This side of him was lethal. He was insatiable, obsessed with the way your body responded to him, greedy for the way you bent to his every whim. It was such a change of pace from the way he was kissing you in missionary, the way he treated you like a doll that he was afraid of hurting you. “Feel good?”

He was mocking you— of course, it was good. You didn’t have to tell him that for him to know; but feeding his ego was so addictive. The way he’d reward you for praising him was enough for you to fall for the trap every single time. “So, good, Mark, hngh.”

The smack of his hips against your ass bounced off the walls, echoing the depravity that you and Mark were oh so good at acting on. All of your senses on overdrive, the overstimulation pulling at you from every end, you weren’t sure if you could take it all for much longer. Drool slipped from your mouth onto Mark’s arm, the edges of your vision blurring as you could feel yourself bubbling over. “Gonna cum again?”

“‘m gonna cum again.”

He was drunk with the power of controlling you. “Hold it.”

“Mark, I can’t.” You were surprised you were even able to do it the first two times he commanded it, not used to having gratification delayed against your wishes.

“Gonna fill you up and then you can cum.” It only took a few more targeted thrusts before he was spilling his seed into you, an endless leak of evidence of what took place over the last hour or so. Even as his cock began to soften, he made sure to fuck you through it, massaging tight circles into your clit until your legs spasmed. The air was snatched from your lungs, eyes flittering shut in sweet relief. It was only two orgasms, but the build up had really taken it out of you. Mark flipped you over gently on your back, brushing the hair out of your face as you sleepily opened your eyes.

“Look at that. Take a look at the mess we made, baby.” 

He gestured between your legs, a slippery canvas of cum smeared across your most intimate parts. “So much…” You couldn’t stop yourself from gathering some on your fingers, popping them into your mouth for a taste of the two of you mixed together.

Your brain was on fire, neurons alight with the molten sensation that was Mark Lee. Even though you took him up on the offer, you weren’t expecting him to completely change your world. A solid orgasm and a pat of the back, maybe. But now you were afraid that he was your new addiction that you’d never be able to feed. 

You woke up in a fresh sleep shirt to the smell of toasted bagels and coffee. Mark balanced the plates and mugs the best he could as he tackled the steps leading up to your bedroom area. “Mornin’ sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?”

He shoved a mug of steaming coffee into your hands, kissing you on the forehead. “Don’t worry about that. You were exhausted, wanted to let you sleep.”

“Thank you.” The coffee was exactly to your liking, just what you needed after a night of fucking like rabbits. “So, should we talk about… it?”

Blush rose to his cheeks and there was no hiding it, his hair pulled back into a messy bun so his face was on full display. “I mean, only if you want to? I’m okay with proceeding however you want to.”

“You’d be fine staying friends? Never talking about it? Pretending that nothing’s changed?”

He shrugged, “if that’s what you wanted, then yeah.” His attention shifted to his breakfast, eyes zeroed in on his eggs and toast like it was a gourmet meal. “Just don’t wanna make you feel weird about it, you know?”

“Mark?” You placed your coffee and plate down on your bedside table, turning your full attention to him as he continued to avoid your gaze. “What did you mean by all the ‘keep you forever’ stuff then?”

He rushed to try to explain himself, scrambling his words into a whole lot of nothing. “It’s not, like, a big deal or anything. I just get possessive… in bed, sometimes. I’m not a weirdo or anything, I promise.”

None of that mattered to you anyway, your dreams of Mark that clouded your head all night giving you the push you needed to throw caution to the wind. Would it be the worst thing in the world to risk it all with him? One kiss, chaste and sweet, was enough to shut him up for just a moment. “So if I said we should try exploring further, maybe go on a date or something, you’d say yes?”

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline, mouth falling agape as he searched your face for any signs that you were being facetious. “Y-yeah, yes. If that’s what you want.” He was so bad with his feelings, sometimes— but you were more than willing to be patient.

“Well, good, because that’s what I want.”

[maraschino-memos]

Writer's Block

You’re staring at the page. The cursor blinks like it’s taunting you. You want to write—hell, you even know what you want to write about—but it’s like your brain’s frozen. That, my friend, is the all-too-familiar little bitch known as writer’s block.

So, how do you fight it?

Here’s what’s helped me, and maybe it'll help you too.

1. Write anything, even if it’s trash

Seriously. Open a doc and let yourself write the worst possible version of what you’re trying to say. No pressure. No editing. You can always clean it up later. A messy first draft is better than no draft.

2. Change your scenery

Sometimes your brain just needs a different view. Go outside. Sit at a café. Write on your phone instead of your laptop. A small change can trick your brain into feeling inspired again.

3. Idea dump

Forget structure. Forget plot. Just go full chaos mode. Rant about your characters, the scene, or how much writing sucks today. That little brain dump might lead you to a breakthrough.

4. Read something short and good

A poem. A Tumblr post. A flash fiction piece. Sometimes reading a spark of good writing reminds your brain how fun words can be.

5. Accept the block, but don’t leave it there

Writer’s block is normal. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means your brain’s buffering. Rest, hydrate, and be gentle with yourself. Then try again.

---

Writing is weird. Some days it flows like magic, and other days it’s like dragging your soul through the trenches. But if you’re stuck, don't give up on it— the words will come back.

[crystallizsch]

???? happy ending reunion????

jhgnngggn i’m back to thinking about post-nrc yuusha and jamil--- extremely long ramble below prepare for uh angst??? i guess???

i buried some of these lore in the tags somewhere but anyways-

yuusha and jamil exchanged hair ties when they separated and went off on their own post-nrc as a way to "remember each other by".

they both have different plans for their own futures despite wanting to be "together"— whatever that means. yuusha stayed at nrc working as staff and jamil is out travelling.

at this point though they STILL never officially “dated” but oh they were so so close SO many times to putting a label on it.

“what happened then” <- idk man they’re incredibly stupid. yuusha is still horribly noncommittal and jamil is- jamil. (“…the hell does that mean” <- SHHHH i will not elaborate)

they ended as just "really good friends" (something something on they’re on the spectrum of queerplatonic but they didn’t understand that that was the case) .

━━━━━━✦

at first they did well keeping in touch from a long distance—

yuusha never forgets to check in on jamil, texting/calling whenever possible, she was always the first to initiate.

and jamil still would’ve made the same effort of course, but yuusha always beats him to it. he sort of just expected her check-ins every day.

and he looks forward to that 1-15 notifications that he gets as soon as he wakes up. it does get him going knowing that she was specifically thinking of him at the start of the day.

that wouldn't last though. eventually, the more yuusha met more people and cultivated new relationships, the more she felt herself grow further and further apart from jamil.

yuusha thrives on physical relationships and the majority of the time the only communication and contact between her and jamil is through the phone.

and so the messages from her became less and less frequent as yuusha got more absorbed and interested in her work and other relationships.

don't get it wrong, she still cared about jamil. loved him even, in her own way.

he just became less of a priority.

━━━━━━✦

it was bittersweet to think that jamil finally had the chance to initiate the conversation.

because that meant yuusha had been thinking of him less and he had to remind her himself that— hey he's still there, remember him?— although that's not exactly what he would say. that's a bit too antagonistic and petty. surely, she's just busy. right?

yuusha would respond as if everything was normal. but the usual fondness, the usual warmth, they weren't there. her words through the screen felt dry. forced.

she can use the unnecessary punctuations and emojis she wants but she is not getting past him.

they called. it was nice to hear her voice. but. there's the same feeling of detachment. why are they talking as if this was one of their first times?

yuu, what happened?— is what jamil wanted to ask. but he would also respond nonchalantly. as if everything was normal.

jamil still tried to reach out to her. similar to how she did with him.

but it was to no avail.

their interactions felt too far gone from what they had.

eventually jamil also realized that there was No Point.

if she wasn’t going to make the effort anymore, why should he?

━━━━━━✦

professor yuusha tala walks in to her class which her signature braid and feathered hair tie.

it's lovely having gotten used to working at nrc. her students are surprisingly behaved and she enjoys teasing chatting with her coworkers. surely she isn't missing anything, is she?

and the traveler, jamil viper. he's seen most of the sights, experienced a lot of things. it's like he is slowly fulfilling his childhood dreams.

he ties his hair with the same one he's been using for years. it's a surprise it hasn't snapped yet from how worn out it looks. this really belonged to someone so cheap, huh.

he wonders why he's still using it. he had come across fitting souvenirs that could replace it.

waste of money— jamil convinces himself. besides, this hair tie is fit for every occasion and it's still holding up anyway.

he'll just get a new one when this one finally bites the dust.

if it ever does.

it's really stubborn for a hair tie.

[mandalhoerian]

Repost because tumblr's tags were broken yesterday and it ate my post up 😞 Spoilers and translation notes for Rafayel's intertidal zone & analysis because it kinda floored me, I was just as a blank page as he was throughout this. I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what the story was saying and dig into chinese and japanese versions of this to piece together what was really happening. It may be my idiot brain not getting it and maybe it was like the easiest thing to understand for you but. Yeah. I may be just dumb LMFAO AND!!!! There's also a theory of mine into how Rafayel is actually able to read mc's mind/wishes through their lemurian bond, so stay tuned for that I guess

EDIT: correcting some transcriptions of chinese characters and the translations. sorry about that! google couldn't transcribe it correctly. for clarity's sake i will also include original screenshots. please tell me if anything is wrong!

EDIT 2: Check out part 2 to this as well for stuff I missed!

EDIT 3: An Abysswalker connection I found

EDIT 4: Debunking the myths of non-consent & Rafayel hurting MC in the spicy scene

So Rafayel’s whole deal in this memory, I believe, is dependency. Like, too much intensity, too much need, too much fear -- about scaring her off, about what he sees himself possibly becoming in the future, overall just being too reliant on mc and getting scared by it.

Let's begin with this massive fear of being a taker, not just in the “I’m stealing someone’s fries” way, but in this existential, soul-deep kind of way where he’s terrified of turning everything he loves into something he exploits out of demand for his art. And yeah, it’s sad when you first hear him say it, but it’s also really interesting when you look at how this all ties into his relationship with MC and his inspiration source drying up because of her.

Before Rafayel became an artist, he looked at the world in this super pure, wholesome way. Sceneries and nature were just there, things to admire and feel awe over without needing to do anything about it. Like, imagine standing at the edge of a desert, looking at a sea that’s drying up. Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s also kind of beautiful in a raw, heartbreaking way. That’s how Rafayel saw things, he could appreciate them without feeling like he had to do anything.

But then Rafayel started creating, and suddenly, sceneries weren’t just sceneries anymore. They became inspiration. He wasn’t just admiring beauty, he was extracting something from it, its meaning, its pain, its soul, to turn into art for other people. And that made him feel all kinds of icky, because now he wasn’t just looking at the drying sea. He was taking from it. Just as he's using his people's pain in his art as well, that's also a thing.

Now let’s talk about MC. Rafayel loves her like he used to love those sceneries,,, in this pure, untainted way. There's a parallel here. But here’s the kicker, he’s not the same guy who can just admire something and leave it untouched anymore.

And suddenly, this is no longer only about losing inspiration for him.

This happens after he and MC get together, and it’s like all the pain and anguish that used to fuel his creativity just.. ... dries up. He can’t find that spark anymore because now his life is surrounded by love instead of suffering. In fact, his inspiration starts coming from her and it's starting to clash with how he makes art. In the phone call, he seeks her out and says he needs her so bad and she only needs to talk to help him out. This is the first wink wink nod nod of the story.

So what does Rafayel do? He goes on this big, dramatic trip to "find inspiration" (or at least his muse), but it’s not just about his art. He’s not just looking for inspiration, he’s trying to figure out how to be less dependent on her and becoming increasingly more restless over this. The temparature and physical discomfort is making things worse, he's anxiously overthinking, and imagine trying to fight this and the longest art block as of late off when all you want to do is indulge in this special person and be comforted like a lap cat all day every day.

He understands that if he lets himself indulge without restraint, one day his love for mc will turn into pure need. He’ll become more and more greedy, and he doesn’t want that and is afraid of being abandoned because of that growing neediness and dependency.

This is in relation to his art, because as @/dat-silvers-girl put in the comments, he's struggling with "the genuine fear of not being able to enjoy anything in life because all you're thinking about how to use it (as an artist)" . what if he starts doing this to her? to their love and relationship? take from her, and become someone who only takes in every area of life -- like someone who only exploits things by extracting what he feels about them to use it for his art. he's afraid of that, he doesn't like that and possibly doesn't like himself who does it. so why should she? she would leave him for sure, in his head, that's a solid reason to.

The first time around he brings up his anxiety about MC leaving him out of the inner realization of his dependency, the possibility of just what he can become, and fear of abandonment. she effortlessly soothes his worries. It's heavily implied they did it afterwards and after hearing "her life has already been consumed by him" he tweaked out a little bit and his "obsession" seeped through.

After it fades to black, he says ほら……僕もとっくに……君に侵食されてしまっているんだ…… which means "See... I've already been completely consumed by you too" in Japanese instead of the life being made a chaotic mess localization. While I think MC's line was jokey and lighthearted, I don't think this man is joking at all. Rafayel didn't say his life was consumed by her as well, he said HE was consumed. Ouh.

This took the edge off from him for a while but they hadn't gotten to the root of the problem yet, so he was back to square one after the memorial hall, because remember, he's trying to find inspiration as an act of making this dependency of his better. Pain and suffering are all around him here, which his inspiration feeds off of. The dried up ocean he could hear weakening, the skeleton of the whale, the burden of his people and homeland more prominent than before. And what does MC do? Tear through the perspective of pain and introduce a hopeful alternative, "Isn't it a surprise to see an ocean in the middle of the desert?"

This is a place that gave Rafayel the height of helplessness and suffering when he visited by himself before despite momentarily being hopeful after the locals told him such a place existed. But now, she was there to comfort him through his loneliness and pain, hug him, and give him hope yet again. He brings up how he wanted to come here with the most important person to him when he was still hopeful about it before consumed by the pain of it all, and that wish has been granted. That moment has to be so powerful for Rafayel. Literally light at the end of the tunnel.

It had me reeling that he just sat in the car after all that, staring at her for god knows how long until she woke up. He was probably overthinking again, but my interpretation that it was heavily emotional for him (it could have meant so little for MC but the world for him, she doesn't even know) and he wanted to be in that moment with her, just feel and look without restraint. Indulge a little. (I can just imagine him going just a little bit more, I'll go after she wakes up.) And like. His eyes are shining in the darkness is the description here. Perhaps he was feeling so much here. So much love. So much happiness. And he's about to go in for a kiss (heavy breathing and everything) after that, but holds himself back and actively has to pry himself away. He's feeling the neediness again.

That’s why he makes an effort to actively wean himself off and says he'll be okay on his own. What he says to her after MC is like "spoiling him" being all "hey you're sick maybe don't go? or let's go together?" (which is NOT helping Rafayel at all) is even more meaningful in Japanese and I didn't know why they left out this context, but the rearranged line would be "Do you want me to become a sea creature beached on the sand after the sea recedes, unable to breathe on my own ever again?"

Yeah. YEAH. This is about dependency. (He's saying don't coddle me I'll literally become that wolf tearing his shirt meme 😭)

So of course his stubbornness and anxiety force him to do things without MC and distance himself, he can do it. He’s determined to prove to himself that he can endure it on his own.

I also feel like part of the reason he insisted on going to the salon alone is that he’s still worried mc might come to dislike the version of him who's someone he's so sure she will leave, who isn't perfect and he hides behind the persona he's put up just for her. If he truly becomes addicted to her and shows her everything/his true self, and she ends up leaving him, it would completely break him. He's trying to be like "im so normal about her haha" but he's so not normal about her at all. He's literally obsessed I feel like, and perhaps this is him fighting it knowing it's not healthy.

and OOOH about why he ends up coming back from the salon all hot and bothered.

I have strong context that she flicked the bean in there after he left her high and dry in the car ("hot water washes away the stickiness from my body and his stifled breaths still echo in my ears, enveloping me along with the steam in the bathroom. The warmth from his fingertips lingers in the places where he touched me..." is the english. however, in chinese, it goes "熱水洗去身上的黏膩，壓抑的喘息迴盪在我耳畔，和浴室裡氤氳的水氣一起包裹著我." stating "the suppressed breathing" -- which doesn't have any possessive adjectives when I translated it on google and later explicitly asked chatgpt if it had any his/my adjectives involved, just to be sure. it said no but i'd like it if a real chinese speaking person could give their input on this !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH CHATGPT

so um. if the context is in fact the case that he heard her masturbating to him, the intensity with which he attacked her would be normal, I think 😭

I have belief that MC unconsciously shatters his "training himself to be without her" determination through their bond. She just keeps thinking about him the entire time. about him reading her thoughts, though. we still don't know all about the lemurian bond they share. I’d say it grants him some sort of mind/heart reading ability or connects their minds together (when she was thinking about whether she should hug him, he answered “yes”).

At the salon, I imagine Rafayel was already thinking about her like crazy. Then he realized, or perhaps, "heard" she was still worrying about him and thinking of him (as much he thought about her) and decided to go back. Rafayel probably felt that suppressing himself was only making her more anxious and unsettled. She's thinking all about him, unconsciously calling to him to come to her, she didn't want to let him go at all, wanted to go with him, etc...

but even if it was his own decision and no mind reading was involved... uh. If you ask me. He did quite literally hear her after coming back. That's also something that might make him think she wants him as much as he wants her, which made his self-restraint utterly meaningless from the start.

Disregarding this theory of mine proven wrong until a Chinese speaker helps me out here, MC returned to Rafayel's room. A translation omission happened here from what I saw. There are no possessive adjectives in the Chinese text about the room she returns to, and the Japanese one states she returned to the guest room (doesn't specify which one. She was also able to enter Rafayel's room without needing to knock before.)

so uh. she went into rafayel's room y'all. the line "this is my room, you're the one who walked in here" MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (SO LIKE. NOT ONLY DID SHE GO INTO HIS ROOM, SHE FLICKED THE BEAN THERE AND HE POSSIBLY HEARD IT. SHE'S MORE OF A FREAK THAN HE IS, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE LET GO AFTER THAT LMFAO)

I don't put it past him to get worked up after he finds her in his room post-bath even without my theory lmfao (idk why they put her in a dress when she should be in a bathrobe or something 😭)

His conclusion at the end of this memory that "he finds inspiration in pain and the art of creation is a part of his life. mc made him realize love and art are so alike. even if they don't complete him but burn him instead he wants them (love and art) with every fiber of his being" and MC says she doesn't like that, rightfully so.

So like. There's SO MUCH to unpack in here.

When Rafayel says he finds inspiration in pain and that creation is a part of his life, he’s admitting something raw and essential about himself: pain isn’t just a byproduct of his art, it’s intrinsic to it. For Rafayel, pain and art are intertwined in a way that’s almost inseparable. It’s like his muse isn’t just beauty, but beauty that hurts.

But then he takes this further by connecting art to love. He’s realized that both art and love demand the same from him: vulnerability, passion, and sometimes suffering. They don’t necessarily complete him (he’s not romanticizing them as salvation), but they burn him, wear him down, consume him (coincidentally, this is something he said to MC in the JP dub of this memory, that she consumes him), but also give him life. And for Rafayel, that’s the crux, even if they burn him, he wants them with every fiber of his being.

This is such a Rafayel thing to say. It’s dramatic, it’s tortured, but it’s also deeply SUBTLE. He doesn't spell all of these out, mind you, I got a headache trying to understand him. Or I'm just slow, I don't know. It shows how much he values creation and connection, even if they come at a cost.

MC, on the other hand, challenges this perspective. When she says she doesn’t like that he views love and art as things that burn him, she’s pushing back against the idea that suffering is a necessary part of creation, or love. MC doesn’t want Rafayel to see their relationship as something that requires him to hurt. She’s telling him, “You don’t have to destroy yourself to love me.”

When MC says, “You’ll never have to burn for me,” she’s giving Rafayel an alternative to his destructive mindset. She’s saying that love doesn’t have to hurt, that their relationship can exist without him sacrificing himself on the altar of passion. It’s a refusal to let Rafayel romanticize pain as the price of love.

And I love that Rafayel goes, "Will you help me look for other parts in life outside of pain?" in response. This is NOT about art or inspiration anymore, and the way the dialogue is written is just AUGH. Again I had to rewatch this over and over again for the nuances and subtext.

I love MC's response, she knew exactly what to say. “I’ll always be the one who walks along the shore with you. Of course, diving into the sea bed is fine too. If it can snow in the desert, there will be a day when the ocean returns.”

MC’s response is layered with metaphors, but at its core, it’s about unwavering support and hope::

Walking along the shore: This represents safety and companionship. MC is saying she’ll be with Rafayel in the calm, in the moments where they’re just observing life without diving into its depths. She’ll be his steady presence, his grounding force.

Diving into the sea bed: This is an acknowledgment that life and love sometimes require going deeper and they may go through hardships, into the unknown, the murky, the challenging. MC isn’t afraid of this, she’s willing to go there with him too.

Snow in the desert and the ocean’s return: This is a symbol of hope and transformation beyond being a nod to The Sea of Golden Sand. Snow in the desert seems impossible, just like the idea of Rafayel finding inspiration outside of pain might feel impossible to him. But MC believes in the extraordinary, in change, and in the possibility that beauty and creation can exist outside of suffering.

Her words are a promise: she’s willing to stand by him, to face the unknown together, and to hold onto the belief that a new way of seeing the world is possible.

And Rafayel LOWKEY PROPOSES IN RETURN.

By saying “let’s watch the sea together,” he’s accepting MC’s offer of companionship and hope in the long run. He’s recognizing that life doesn’t have to be about diving into the depths alone, it can be about sharing the experience with someone else, even if it’s just standing on the shore and watching.

“Every sea”: This phrase is key. Rafayel isn’t just committing to one kind of life or one kind of inspiration, he’s opening himself up to all possibilities. Watching every sea means embracing all facets of life, whether they’re calm or turbulent, painful or beautiful. It’s a marriage proposal declaration that he’s ready to explore the world beyond pain, with MC by his side.

So. I love that his inspiration returns after his freak is accepted by MC because he literally feels the acceptance through the bond.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. This memory DRAINED me. They were just supposed to bang what the fuck happened. Why did I have to go treasure hunting to find what was going on in this card. anyway...

[screamlet]

tommy playing with buck's hair if it sparks joy pls 🙏

well......... i hope this sparks joy for someone. thank you for the prompt! don't ask how playing with buck's hair got us here. established bucktommy, 1.5k, future fic (1 year from now), mention of mcd, discussions about grieving, angst city. kind of inspired by my drabble about buck and his lightning strike anniversary. from the nonsexual acts of intimacy prompt list ---

As thunder rumbles in the distance, Tommy glares out the kitchen window. That's not cool.

Evan hears it, too, and looks up and around like it's coming for him. He can't blame him for thinking that, not in the slightest.

"See what I mean?" Evan asks. "Weather was fine yesterday, weather will be fine tomorrow, but tonight it has to rain, there has to be a storm."

Tommy leaves the vegetables he's chopping and pulls Evan into his arms, kisses his hair. "It'll be okay. We've got a plan."

There's a flash outside the window and then the lights go out.

"Fuck," Tommy mutters, holding Evan closer.

They had taken today and tomorrow off for the anniversary of Evan being struck by lightning/literally dying for 3 minutes and 17 seconds before slipping into a days-long coma that almost killed him (again). The plan had been to spend the day working on a really elaborate several-course dinner, enjoying all that work, and then watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended edition) until Evan fell asleep.

Now there was a storm overhead and that plan was fucked. It was raining hard, huge sheets of rain beating steadily against Tommy's house. Evan had kept it together until Tommy rested a hand on the nape of his neck; that got him to give up the ghost and walk into his arms, letting himself be held.

"You don't have one of those big generators that powers an entire house, do you?" Evan asks.

"No, I'm not that much of a doomsday prepper, though maybe I should be."

Evan rubs his cheek against Tommy's chest. "Maybe you should be."

Tommy didn't have a generator, but he did have a huge camping lantern that lit up the living room in an admittedly spooky blue-toned light. Something else to look into: less creepy lightbulbs for his emergency lantern.

"At least we have charcuterie," Evan mumbles, his crackers and cheese and meats untouched on his plate. "And cheesecake."

"That's a pretty decadent meal," Tommy replies. "Nothing says hell yeah I'm alive like charcuterie and cheesecake."

Evan nods as he reclines against Tommy's chest. "Aren't you going to ask me?"

"Ask you…"

"What it was like to die." Evan looks up. "Have you ever died?"

"Haven't had the pleasure," Tommy says. "Do you want to tell me?" Tommy kisses the top of his head, then rests his hand in Evan's hair. "Do you remember what happened?"

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy's waist. He relaxes a little as Tommy touches his curls, relaxes even more as Tommy runs his nails along his scalp. He can feel Evan relaxing bit-by-bit with every stroke of Tommy's fingers through his hair, the gentle touch along his shaved sides. His fingers trace not his ear, but behind his ear, the curve of his neck, his jaw, a long road trip that tickles at the edge of his jaw. Evan loves to be kissed there, but Tommy running his thumb along that spot, the bolt of his jaw, gets him to laugh and squirm. Tommy remembers that as his hand goes back into Evan's hair and starts again: nails along his scalp, gentle tugs on his curls to show Evan that he's here, not alone.

"I remember too much," Evan says slowly. "I remember climbing in the rain, how hard it was raining. I remember this stillness, this pocket in the middle of all that rain. I remember this weird sound, like—tension, electric, all at once. I think I knew it was going to happen before it happened."

"And then…"

"And then everything went white. I felt the shock and it hurt, it hurt, and then… then it was over. Like shutting off the lights."

Tommy rests his hand on Evan's head and kisses the top again, rests his cheek there. His heart hurts. It aches to hear the story, but it aches more at Evan's voice, the fear still in it. It's been two, three years? It sounds like the memory's burned in there.

"I had a dream and Bobby was in it, but he was dead."

Tommy stops. Soon it'll be a year since Bobby died; he didn't know Evan had already dreamed it, or something like it.

"Did you know Bobby was an alcoholic? Other stuff, too? Before he came to LA."

"I knew he was sober," Tommy says. "I didn't ask about the rest."

Evan nods. "Hen and I, he relapsed when I was a probie, and we got him help. We helped him. He was in my dream, though, kind of my guide I guess. He was—if I didn't—if I hadn't been at the 118, he would have died, is how my dream went. He needed me like I needed him."

Tommy's hand opens, making the same trip along the side of Evan's hair, down his jaw and neck, his hand resting on Evan's chest. Evan takes his hand and clutches it to himself as he leans more against Tommy.

"I don't know what to do with that," Evan says quietly. "I know it's just a dream, it's just in my head, it never happened—I never told Bobby about this, not ever. But I guess I think it's true. He wouldn't have lived if he didn't have me to be a menace, to look after, to guide, and now—now I don't have him. I don't know what I'm supposed to do today now that he's not here."

"What did you used to do? When he was here. You told me you went over to Maddie and Howie's, but what about last year when—"

When I wasn't here.

"We had found Maddie after she was kidnapped," Evan says. "And I had just moved all my stuff into my new place, and then—then I saw you again."

Tommy clutches Evan's chest a little. "That all happened around the same time? Maddie's kidnapping, your anniversary, you and me hooking up?" Evan nods against him. "Shit. Maybe next year we just skip the month of March."

Evan laughs and lets go of Tommy's hand, so Tommy rests it in his hair again. "It's tough. But I went to Maddie's anyway, crashed in the spare room. They needed the help with Jee while Maddie was recovering, so I—I had different things to be sick about."

Tommy wraps him up and kisses his birthmark. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you last year, not the way you needed it."

"It's okay," Evan says softly. "We made it back to each other."

"We did." Tommy kisses him again. "How are you feeling? What else do you want to get off your chest?"

Evan's quiet again, this time for a while, before he curls up against Tommy's chest again. "I went to church a couple of times after Bobby died. To his church. Went to Mass by myself, just me."

Tommy nods. "How'd it make you feel? Is that something you want to do again?"

"It was quiet and cold, I don't know why they blast the air conditioner like that," Evan says. "I remembered in my coma dream Bobby had his rosary and was praying for me and I wondered if that would help me. I don't know the prayers but I know there's 10 in each set, so I counted off on my knuckles. 10 things I miss about Bobby. 10 things I wish I'd said to Bobby. 10 things I wish he'd told me. 10 things I wish we could still do together. 10 things I wish he'd do for me."

Tommy doesn't realize he's crying until a tear drips onto the hand in Evan's hair. He rubs his cheeks dry and rests his hand in Evan's hair again. "Did you have answers for all of those?"

"Not all of them, but I stayed for a long time counting them off." Evan sounds congested, so he sniffles hard. "You know, this is the least miserable today's ever been. Seriously."

"Because you're not watching The Lord of the Rings tonight?"

Evan laughs. He sits up, but keeps himself pressed to Tommy's side. "I finally—you make me feel—I—"

Their eyes meet, darker blue to lighter blue in this dark and blue-lit room, this pocket of the storm.

"I'm glad I have someone. I'm glad I have you. I love you." Evan's eyes go watery as his lip trembles. "I'm so glad I have you. I'm so glad I didn't die, Tommy. I'm so glad I found you."

And Tommy had never been hit by lightning, but he didn't have to be to understand Evan: a man standing on the thinnest edge of the loneliest cliff, hoping something would pull him back.

"I love you," Tommy whispers, kissing his mouth, his hand in Evan's hair. "I'm so glad I found you."

[oneforthemunny]

christmas with the devil |dom!eddie munson x sub!reader|

prompt: even the dirty magazines are in the holiday spirit. after you and eddie stumble upon a particularly interesting magazine, you both are inspired by the spirit of the season.

apart of my munny's merriest series!

contains: minors dni smut. dom/sub themes. dom!eddie x sub!reader. spanking. spanking with implement. switching. pinv sex. a little roleplay lol? all consensual and sweet. they're kinda nerdy and i love them. eddie hates christmas, reader loves it. they're in love.

“Can you hurry up?” Your eyes cut around the abnormally crowded comic book store, chin ducking towards your chest as if all their eyes were on you.  

Bundles of teenagers, kids, parents all gathered around and looking through the stacks of Marvel issues, while you and your boyfriend trudged towards the scandalous back area. Marked off with a rope that held a sign, ‘Adults Only’ in bold print and was the vault for the more risqué magazines. 

“Relax, baby, we’re both adults.” Eddie cooed, a smirk in his tone that had your teeth gritting with annoyance. “We’ll be in and out, I promise.”  

“I don’t know why they have to make it so obvious.” You muttered, sliding past the rope and scurrying into the tiny room, filled with X-Rated magazine covers. “The rope seems like a little much.” 

Eddie snickered, his hand finding your waist, pulling you into him. “I kinda like it. Feels like they’re giving me the VIP treatment.” 

You rolled your eyes, but stayed flush against him, his chest warm on your frostbitten skin. “VIP treatment while you buy your porno magazines.” Your nail brushed over the edge of a Playboy, lifting a brow up at Eddie pointedly. 

“It’s not a porno magazine,” Eddie rolled his eyes lightly. “It’s just made by Penthouse, but it’s more sci-fi than-” 

“-I know, Ed.” You groaned, pressing your fingers to your temple. “You know I don’t care. I just hate coming in here.” You looked around, the dim lights and tight corners all plastered with vulgar photos. “Just feel skeezy.” 

“Skeezy?” Eddie grinned down at you. “Some of our best ideas came from this room, baby.” 

Your cheeks burned with a rush of heat, eyes cutting to the door carefully. It was true. You had many Fotoplays Magazines to thank for some of your favorite tricks in the bedroom. The countless times you and Eddie would flip through the dirty magazines, oohing and awing at the photos and stories, bookmarking pages that sparked your excitement to try later. 

“There it is.” Eddie’s chains jingled with his steps, pulling you out of your thoughts. You frowned, following his ringed hand towards the Omni Magazine cover. 

“Look at this. This looks so fuckin’ sick, doesn’t it? UFO Edition. This one’s gonna be all about aliens and shit.” Eddie grinned, bubbling with nerdy excitement you found overwhelmingly endearing. 

“Mhm,” You hummed, though you only partially heard him, your attention caught by the magazine in front of you. 

Eddie’s smile dropped, looking up at you with a furrowed brow, following your line of vision to what had captivated your attention over him. “What’d ya see, babe?” Eddie muttered, a low gravel in his tone that had you shivering. 

“What’s this?” You pointed at the cover. There on the glossy page, a goat-like demon with bat wings lifting a bundle of sticks high in the air, ready to bring them down on a woman’s bottom. Her ass stuck high up in the air, clad in lingerie, face animated with excited fear. 

“Krampus,” Eddie read, pointing at the golden cursive font below the image. “Hm, I don’t really know. Looks cool though, doesn’t he?” He grinned, nudging you playfully. 

“Looks like your little Hellfire mascot thingy.” You nodded back, picking up the magazine. 

Eddie’s brows lifted, suddenly, no longer interested in his Omni, tossing it back on the shelf, too consumed with the magazine capturing your attention. “You want to get this too?” 

“No, you don’t have to. I was just looking to see what it’s about.” You hummed, flipping through the pages until you found the cover story, an erotic retelling of the European Christmas demon. 

“Punishes those who misbehave with birch rods.” Eddie grinned, adjusting himself shamelessly behind you. His mind was racing, flooded with excited, devious ideas with every image. “Seems like you need Krampus to visit you.” 

“Nuh-uh,” Your tongue clicked, glaring at Eddie. “Why would you say that? I’ve been such a good girl this year.” 

“Psh, please,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “You’ve been such a bad girl.” His voice dropped,  breath tickled the shell of your ear, leaving you quaking with excitement. 

“No, I haven’t.” Your whine sounded more like a mewl, gripping the magazine so tightly the pages were creasing under your grasp. 

“I guess we’ll find out.” Eddie shrugged, pulling away from you, plucking the magazine out of your hand, tucking it under his arm with the other. “See if Krampus visits you tonight.” The wink he gave you left your tummy flipping with heat, following him to the counter on shaky legs, mind racing with excitement of what was to come. 

“Well, well, well,” You jumped at the sound of Eddie’s voice, booming from the doorway behind you. He’d been stowed away in his room since you got home, only telling you not to come in- that he had a surprise for you. 

“Look what we have here.” Eddie waved the rolled up paper around in his hands, grinning at you as he took slow, calculated steps closer and closer to you. 

“What’s that?” You frowned, shoving the stack of folded dish towels into the drawer. 

Eddie’s tongue rolled over the inside of his cheek, looking at you with a positively primal glare. “Looks like this year’s naughty list just came in.” Eddie sucked in a breath, shaking his head exaggeratedly. “And I’ve got some real bad news for you, babe.” 

You feigned surprise, matching his playful, dramatic tone. “No,” You gasped lightly. “Don’t tell me I’m on that list. There’s no way. I’ve been sooo good this year.”  

He could kiss you, right then and there. How easily you played along, gave right into his dramatics without question. How perfect you were for him. He’d tell you after this, later when you were curled into him, sharing soft kisses and softer touches. But for now, he had a part to play. 

“This list begs to differ,” Eddie shrugged dramatically, shaking his head, unrolling the list he’d been working on. There in gothic, cursive font was your name, listed under the intimidatingly gloomy ‘Naughty’ side.  “And unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“This has to be a mistake. I’ve been nothing but a good girl this year. Perfect.” You quipped, stepping towards him. 

“No, this list doesn’t lie, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head, toe to toe with you now, looking at you down the slope of his nose. “You’ve been naughty this year, and you know what that means?” 

You shook your head, playing coy while your lashes batted at him. Eddie swore his heart was going to burst right out of his chest. 

“It means you’ll have to take your lashing from Krampus.” Eddie shook his head at you. 

“My lashing?” You gawked lightly, a giggle of surprise bubbling out of your chest. “I thought naughty girls got coal in their stockings.” You frowned, lip jutting in a gentle pout towards him. 

“Not around here they don’t.” Eddie grinned, a darkness to his eyes that had your heart rushing with floods of excitement. “Naughty girls around here get a visit from Krampus if they’ve been bad. They get corrected for their bad behavior.” 

“Well, I don’t want to be naughty.” You sighed heavily, really playing it up for him. You could see how much he was loving this. “I’ll do whatever I have to, to get off that list.” 

Eddie swallowed back a grin, nodding slowly instead. His footsteps fell heavy on the kitchen floor, striding over towards the stove, pulling the designated junk drawer open for the cutting pliers. You squirmed under his intense gaze when he brought them back, handing them to you, neither one of you breaking eye contact from the other. 

“Go get me eight good ones from the tree in the front, alright? Make ‘em good ones.” Eddie nodded at you. 

Your legs felt like they might give out slipping on your boots, wrapping Eddie’s jacket around you, climbing down the creaking steps of the trailer. It was cold out, everything dried and dead for the winter- it made the perfect time to pick a switch. 

Eddie watched from the doorway, fingers drumming with excitement taking in every branch you’d pick. How you’d examine it carefully before tossing it to the side or adding it to the collection in your hand. It consumed him with excitement, cock throbbing with exhilaration. 

“Will these do?” You held the branches towards him, after what felt like an eternity, standing on the steps, waiting for his approval. 

Eddie carefully looked at each one, swishing them through the air, before nodding. “Very good.” He gave you a curt nod. “So you can be good then, hm?” 

You blistered under his gaze, burning with excitement as you kicked off your boots, chin ducking so he couldn’t see your flustered grin. “I always try to be good.” 

Eddie snorted in laughter. “Yeah, right.” He muttered sarcastically. “Now, you’re back on the naughty track. You know better than to lie.” 

You glared at him, huffing with a pout, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it on the hook. “I’m not lying.” 

Eddie’s brows lifted, in shock or in warning, you weren’t sure. “You better watch your tone with me.” Eddie pointed at you, waving a branch near you to make his point. “You’re not in much of a position to be mouthy.” 

You bit back a snarky reply, lip jutting further instead, trailing behind Eddie towards the living room. Eddie laid the branches out, lining them up evenly on the coffee table in front of you. 

“Hold on,” You stilled at the sound of his voice, stopping before you knelt into position in front of the couch. “Go ahead and strip f’me.” Eddie’s eyes rolled over your frame. 

Your hands shook with excitement, trembling when you took off your jeans shoving them to the ground, pulling your sweater off with a rough tug, giving them a half hearted fold and placing them on the recliner. Your nipples pebbled in the cold of the room, maybe from your own excitement. 

Eddie gave you a nod of approval before he left the room, silently going to the kitchen. You sunk to your knees on the shagged carpet, spine straightening long and eyes forward; you were on your best behavior, after all.

The soft screech of duct tape tore through the living room before Eddie could enter, the silver tape in his hand, teeth tearing off the end of the long strip. He made a show of wrapping the bundle of wood together, looking at you with dark eyes while he wound the tape over the switches to keep them together. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and bend over the back of the couch for me, hm?” Eddie nodded, twisting the tight bundle in his hands. “You know how I want you.” 

You swallowed back a shiver when you stood, every inch of your exposed skin tingling with a prickling heat of excitement. Arms stretched out in front, you lowered yourself over the arm of the couch, elongating yourself and propped nicely so your ass was high in the air.

“I think twelve will suffice, don’t you?” Eddie hummed, eyes scanning your features for even a quip of uncertainty- he was good like that. “One for each month.” 

You nodded, shifting from foot to foot, desperate to alleviate the aching that was ever growing between your legs. “Yes, Sir,” Your voice lilted to an airy, positively sweet coo. It made Eddie’s cock lurch, throb with blinding pleasure that left him reeling. 

“Look at me,” Eddie’s hand squeezed your hip lightly, pulling your eyes back to his. “That’s good?” 

You nodded, pushing up on your forearms. “That’s good, Ed.” You gave him a soft smile. “If it’s too much, I’ll let you know.” 

Eddie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his features. He had an overwhelming urge to kiss you, but he’d wait, for now anyway. 

“Why don’t you count them for me too then?” You jumped at the feeling of the branches on the back of your thighs, scratchy and rough. Oh, this was going to burn, you could already feel it. You throbbed between your legs at the thought. 

A thundering crack of his palm left you gasping, hips tensing over the arm of the couch in surprise. “Did you hear me?” 

“Y-Yes, Sir,” You babbled, tongue thick in your mouth, head spinning with pleasure. “I’m sorry, Sir.” 

Eddie tutted mockingly, shaking his head. “I don’t know if you’re cut out for the nice list, baby. Sure isn’t seeming like you’re gonna make the cut after all.” 

“Noo,” Your lip jutted out in a whine. “I am good, please, I’ll be good.” 

Eddie tapped the bundle of switches against your ass lightly. “We’ll see about that.” He muttered. “Make sure you count loud for me. Loud and clear.” You nodded, lowering your chin back onto the cushion before you. 

A whispering swish of wind was your only warning before you felt the familiar searing of heat across your ass, this time in multiples instead of the singular switching you’d had before. It wasn’t as hard as usual, Eddie’s uncertainty with the newness of this shining through, but enough to have you hissing, dancing from foot to foot at the sting. 

“One,” You hissed through gritted teeth, fist balling to keep from reaching back, running out the itchy sting. 

The second hit came a little harder than before, enough to leave you whining at the impact. “Two,” 

Your voice tightened with every blow, lifting into near squeaks until number eight. “Ei-Eight,” Followed by a wet sniffle, and a pathetic little mewl. 

Eddie grinned, running his hand over your hot skin, lines of his handiwork already beginning to show. He took mercy on you, giving you a soft rub that he knew you were craving, fighting from doing yourself. 

“You’re doing very good, baby.” Eddie cooed, grinning as you rubbed your teary face into your arms, soothing the burn in your nose, trying to hide your tears. “Looks like you might make it on the nice list afterall.” 

“Thank you,” You gave a squeaky whisper, face still buried under your arms. 

Eddie gave your right cheek a firm squeeze, grinning at how you screeched. “I’ll do these last ones quick, how’s that sound? Since you’ve been so good.” Truthfully, Eddie wasn’t sure he could last much longer. Not with the little sounds you’d make that drove him wild, blind with pleasure. Not with the way he could see how wet you were, get an agonizing glimpse between your legs every time you’d shift that left his mouth watering. 

You nodded silently, and he didn’t correct you, too blinded with his own intense pleasure. The final four came down in quick, crescendoing successions that had you lifting up off the couch, voice squeaking through sobs as you counted them, squirming desperately to get away. 

The sound of his zipper followed the crunching thud of the switch bundle being tossed on the carpet. Your eyes glossy already, cheek pressed to the couch, tears and a string of drool pooling carelessly beneath you. 

“Am I on the nice list now?” You whimpered, so soft and airy, lashed batting up at Eddie sweetly. He thought he might burst, through his heart or maybe through his dick. 

“Fuck yeah, yes, baby.” Eddie kicked his jeans off, hand wrapping around his throbbing length, stroking himself enough to alleviate some of the aching throb of pleasure. 

“Definitely on the nice list. The top of it too. You’re such a good girl, you know that? You do know that don’t you?” He gave you a wide grin, body folding over yours and placing a kiss on your left shoulder blade, erection rubbing against the hot, sensitive skin of your ass. 

“C’mere,” Eddie muttered, pulling you by your hips closer to him, shamelessly rubbing himself into you. “Let me take care of you now, baby. You want that? Hm, that sound good?” 

“Yes,” You whimpered, hips rolling back towards him, desperate for friction. “Don’t tease me, Ed.” 

He let out a small laugh, fingers sliding through your slick, sopping folds, circling your clit, grinning at how you shuddered. “I won’t tease. You’ve been so good, I won’t tease you, baby.” Eddie muttered, pressing a final soft kiss the the middle of your spine, before he pushed himself in, bottoming out and stilling just for a moment, eyes rolling back in pleasure. 

He fucked you over the couch, hard and messy, furiously rutting into you while his fingertips made bruises on your hips from his grip. The way you were taking him, walls squeezing him just right, both you spend collecting at the base of his cock; he decided that you were definitely on the nice list, top of it. On his, at least, his perfect, nice, good girl. 

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister)?

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

AN: I’ve had this idea for a while but after hearing “The Prophecy” on The Tortured Poets Department I was finally feeling inspired to write it. You guys have no idea how much that album is about to influence my writing. Also I have no idea how this is gonna end lol.

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: smut, unrequited love, situationship, fluff, Lucien is literally and angel I love him sm, did not edit (I am tired)

Word count: 3734

“Please, I've been on my knees. Change the prophecy. Don't want money just someone who wants my company…”

I had known the youngest Vanserra for a while now. I can recall the first time I met him on a lovely day  in the spring court when I was visiting with my brother. The man was more than charming, his words nearly had me buckling at the knees. It was around the same time that I had found out that my brother's close friend Azriel was my mate.

I remember the bond snapping like it was yesterday. We were celebrating solstice in the Hewn City and my feet were nearly black and blue from the amount of drunk men stepping on them while dancing. I was about to ask my brother to take me home when Azriel stepped in and quite literally swept me off my feet. He let me stand on his toes and waltz around the room with him all night to ensure that he himself wouldn’t hurt my feet. At some point in the night the bond snapped and I had never been so happy. 

Azriel and I had been friends for over 100 years and I had secretly harbored feelings for him for at least 75 of them. To have my brother's best friend as my mate felt like fate. I didn’t tell him that night, something I have regretted for the last 400 years. 

Not long after that he rescued Mor and any sparks I thought he felt with me that night were long gone. From that day on all he did was pine for her. I couldn’t blame him, Mor was astonishingly beautiful. For a long time after he saved her I resented her, I felt like she had taken my mate from me. It wasn’t until I realized that she wanted nothing to do with the shadowsinger that my hatred for my cousin dissipated. It wasn’t her fault that Azriel was so smitten with her. It was my fault for not telling him, but now it had been so long since the bond snapped that it seemed weird to bring it up.  

So I sat dutifully by his side whenever  he needed someone to rant to about Mor. It practically ripped out my heart to  hear him talk about how in love with her he was. I was the only person he would open up to like that.  He would spend hours asking me for advice on how to woo her, and I grinned and bore it because, at the end of the day, I got to spend time with him.

I had been playing the girl best friend for hundreds of years. The moment I started to feel like he might be losing feelings for Mor in walked Elain. The beautiful sister of my brother's mate. What's worse? She seemed interested in Azriel as well. 

Elain was easy to hate. Not just for her flirtations with Azriel but for the way she treated Lucien, her mate. Lucien had so much love for the Archeron, and she waved him off without another thought. I might be able to understand her reluctance to accept the bond if Lucien was a brute of a male, but he wasn’t. He was soft, kind and easy on the eyes.

I found him tossing rocks into the Sidra one day, no doubt pining over how Elain had barley even acknowledged the flowers he picked for her. That’s when I told him about Azriel and I’s bond. From that moment on we spent a great deal of time together, ranting about our unaccepted mating bonds. Even though we spent most of the time bitching, there was happiness. More than I had felt in a while. 

Then starfall came…and everything changed. 

“You look far too stunning not to be walking in with a date,” Lucien drawled to me from the outside of the townhouse. 

I had spent all day getting ready for the annual party tonight. My dress was chosen specifically to catch Azriel’s attention, not that I felt like I would succeed. 

“Well finding a date is harder than you think, especially at this hour,” I laugh as I walk through the gate he opened for me. 

“Then indulge me,” he said. I turned to find him offering me an arm. 

“You want to be my date?” I laugh light heartedly, admittedly smitten by the autumn court male. 

“It’s a little last minute but I would be honored to walk into that room with you on my arm,” he said fondly. 

I smiled and shook my head at the male before looping my  arm in his and allowing him to lead me up the steps to the front door. 

“You know, you clean up pretty well Lu,” I cock an eyebrow bumping into him. 

“Thanks, your brother sets a pretty high standard as far as attire for this thing. Who knew he was such a fashionista?” Lucien grins before walking in the door arm and arm with me. I don’t even bother stifling the laugh I let out. 

The room nearly fell silent at our entrance. Sure Lucien and I were close and everyone knew, but they had never seen us like this. Even Az and Elain stopped their oh so intriguing conversation to ogle. I swore I saw anger flit across Elain’s eyes, like she was dead set on owning both Az and Lucien. 

Lucien and I spent the evening as wallflowers, doing our best to stay away from all the happy couples. We had even gotten to the point where we grabbed a bottle of wine off the table and brought it over to our couch, both of us tired of constantly getting up and down for refills. 

It wasn’t until Az and Elain not so subtly got up and walked onto the balcony that we decided we had tortured ourselves enough. We promptly grabbed the bottle of wine and waltzed out of the townhouse not even bothering to say goodbye. I supposed it was that exact bottle that did us in. 

I placed my hand on my apartment door, swaying slightly from the alcohol rushing to my head. Lucein’s hand found my hip, steadying me. While I assured him I would be fine to walk home alone, he insisted he came with me. 

“Thanks,” I laughed unlocking the door. 

“You’re welcome,” he chuckles, wobbling himself. 

“I had a really good time with you tonight,” I say, placing a hand on his chest to steady myself.

“I had a good time too,” he smiled. 

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how close we were. Lucien looked down at me, the moonlight illuminating his face perfectly. The sudden tension between us was broken when he crashed his lips on mine. 

One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was lying bare beneath him as he fucked me like his life depended on it. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to get laid until he was buried inside me. Needless to say I understood why people said the Autumn Court males have fire in their blood. 

That was a year ago and since then Lucien and I had decided to continue seeing each other in secret, both of us needing a way to release built up tension so to say. He often stayed the night and we would spend long hours talking about everything from the books we were reading to politics. The sex was amazing, for both of us, but it was the intimacy that came after that I think we both craved the most. An intimacy I would be seeking out shortly given the current topic of conversation between Azriel and I. 

“Gods the other day she was weaning a light blue dress in the garden and I nearly fell to my knees before her,” Azriel ranted to me. 

He had been going on and on about whether or not he wanted to finally make a move on Elain or not. And as his best friend I had to hear about every word of it.

“I saw it, it was a very pretty dress,” I acknowledge, turning the page of the book I was reading. 

“I swear she blushed when I complimented it too, I think I’m making progress with her,” he went on to say. 

“Maybe you should just put yourself out of your misery and talk to her Az,” I suggested for probably the tenth time. 

“You know I can’t just barrel in there. She’s scared and I’m not going to freak her out even more. She will come to me when she’s ready. If she’s ready. Gods that’s assuming she even likes me,” he rambled. 

I roll my eyes and shut my book so loudly it pulls the shadow singers attention. I give him a pointed look that has him startling back just a bit. 

“I know that she likes you Az,” I deadpan. 

“How can you be sure though?” he asks, throwing his head back on the arm of the couch. 

“Because she would be an idiot not to,” I say with a hint of sadness. 

Azriel looked to be at a loss for words, and I realized my words were much bolder than I had wanted them to be. 

Clearing my throat I set my book down on the side table, knowing it will be waiting for me when I come back to my brother’s tomorrow. I stand and subtly adjust my dress.  

“I have to go, but seriously Az, just tell her,” I say walking over to press a kiss to his forehead. 

As I got to walk away I feel him grab my hand, placing a kiss to my open palm, “Thank you for listening y/n, really.” he says earnestly . 

“Don’t worry  about it Az, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say with a fake smile before setting off towards my modest home. 

When Feyre moved into the townhouse I took it as my queue to move out, knowing my brother and his new mate would want privacy. Of course Rhysand offered me mansions and villas but I was content with a townhouse of my own in the middle of town. Big enough to have my own home library, and small enough to not feel so lonely. 

I make my way down the cobblestone streets, the faelights casting a warm glow on the ground before me. It was late, and many couples were turning in for the night. I could see some cuddled up on their sofa’s through their windows, others were having a nightcap together outside Rita’s. I saw a couple rocking their newborn baby to sleep on the second floor of their home, and for some reason, that was the one that hurt the most to me.

I sighed as I walked up a few steps to my townhouse door. I unlocked the door and was greeted to the smell of jasmine and vanilla and the sound of a cracking fire. I walk up my steps to find Lucien sitting shirtless on my large bed, his hair in a bun at the nape of his neck. The male was the image of relaxation. 

I had given him a key months ago. With the males many jobs, emissary to the night court, ally to Jurian and Vassa,  and liaison to Tamlin, he needed a place to truly call home. For the past 9 months that had been here, with me. I never once objected to his subtle moving in, it was nice to come home to someone waiting for me, sometimes even a homemade meal. For him it was nice to have a  place where he didn’t always have to put on a front. It was a win for both of us. 

“When did you get in?” I ask kicking off my shoes. 

“Just a couple hours ago. How was Azriel duty?” he asked, setting his book down as I began to strip off my cloak and dress leaving me only in my lingerie. It wasn’t uncommon for us to be so casual with one another. 

“Exhausting, did you know that Elain wore a pretty blue dress the other day?” I mocked tossing my clothes into a dirty clothes bin, I noticed his missing shirt was there too.

“Unfortunately yes I did,” he chuckled. “You know what always makes me feel better though?” he smirks. 

“I crawl up the bed towards him, “What?” I smile knowing what the answer will be. 

“You,” he smirks, grabbing my hips and pinning me to the mattress beneath him, his lips pressing to mine. 

“How funny I was about to say the same thing,” I laugh, feeling his lips tickle my neck as he makes his way further down my body. 

His mouth trails the inside of my thighs before sliding my panties down my legs, each brush of his fingers from my hips to my ankles feeling like heaven. The male had been gone for a week, and I was desperate for release. He licks a long stripe up my center, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves at the top. My back arches off the bed and his hands find my waist to pin me down. I feel his tongue begin to lap at my clit as his fingers slide into me, no doubt finding the pool of wetness waiting there. 

This is what me and Lu had always been good at, reading each other. When he had a stressful day  I always made sure to make him feel good, and when I came back to the house upset he never hesitated to get on his knees for me. There was this unsaid rule that we would always take care of eachother. 

Lucien’s tongue continues lapping my clit as his fingers curl to hit that spot inside of me that had me gasping for air. As I started to feel myself getting closer and closer he removed his mouth from me, drawing his fingers out slowly. One thing about hooking up for a year? You learn to read each other's bodies, and lord did the seventh son of Autumn know how to read mine. 

“Lu!” I cry out frustrated. 

“Shhh my darling,” he coos crawling up my body. “I simply want to cum with you tonight.” he smirked, seething himself inside of me. 

“Oh gods!” I cry feeling him fill me thoroughly. 

He pulls out and thrusts back in causing me to whimper once more. Mor was right about one thing, the autumn court males have fire in their blood and they fuck like it too. 

“I missed you, missed this,” Lucien groans, his face contorted in pleasure as he builds a steady pace. 

“I missed you too Lu,” I say through ragged breaths as he fucks into me like his life depends on it. Apparently the time apart made him needy as well. 

I could hardly speak as he thrust deeper into me, his hands on my waist holding me steady so tha he could hit me as deep as possible. When I felt myself start to clench around him he doubled over, burying his head in my neck as his hips continued to snap into me.

My hands found his back clinging to the flesh there for an anchor, my walls fluttering around him one last time before I fell apart.The sudden sensation had Lucien biting my neck as he came with a low groan. 

We spent a few moments catching our breaths, he pushed up on his arms and moved a stray hair from my face, assessing to see if he had hurt me, just like he always did.  When he found no traces of pain in my face he rolled over, taking me with him so that I was lying on his chest. 

This was always the part I think we both craved the most. The sex was great, amazing even. But I longed for a pair of arms to fall asleep in, and he longed for someone to hold. Meaningless pillowtalk just for fun.

“I mean it, I did miss you,” I sigh circling my arms around his waist. 

“I missed you too, I hate sleeping in the spring court, it’s so cold and dark there now.” Lucien said, staring at the ceiling. 

“How is Tamlin?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Terrible,” he muttered. “I had to talk him into letting me stay.”  He continues playing with the ends of my hair. 

“You’re a good friend for checking in on him though,” I say matter of factly. 

“I still wish I could do more,” he sighs, pulling the covers up on the two of us.

“I understand,” I mutter keeping my head on his chest, staring at the fire that roars next to us. 

A long beat of comfortable silence passes, normally I would fall asleep like this. I would sometimes wake to him being gone, sometimes he would wake to me being gone. Only on weekends would both be able to wake up and go to breakfast together. This was one of those weekends, but instead of falling asleep, Lucien spoke up. 

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, not taking his gaze from the ceiling. 

“Sure,” I reply, waiting for a nonchalant inquiry. It wasn’t the first time he and I had played 20 questions to get to know each other more, though I thought that after a year of it we knew just about everything there was to know about the other. 

“Would you agree that Azriel and Elain are never going to give us a chance?” he asked. 

My heart twinges hearing his name, “Well Az doesn’t know, but even if he did I don’t think he would care. I’m not damsel in distress enough for him.” I snort recalling the unconscious type he has.

“I feel the same about Elain, and there’s something I’ve been thinking about, especially this past week,” he continues still facing the ceiling. 

I prop my head up on his chest wanting to read his face and his eyes flit to me, “Cryptic Vanserra, but go on,” I laugh trying to break the tension. 

“I’ve always been fond of you y/n ever since you visited the spring court all those years ago. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, that admiration has only grown, not to mention you’re a very beautiful female y/n,” he laughs at his own words, a tint of pink dusting his cheek and I can’t help but blush as well. “From the amount of time we’ve been spending together it seems you like me enough, and well…I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he says seemingly avoiding his main point. 

I sit up more, intrigued by his words, “What do you mean Lu?” I inquire. 

“I was wondering if you would like to be Mrs. Lucien Vanserra?” he finally says and my heart nearly stops at the shocking words. “I know I’m not Azriel, but consider me an alternative. I think we could make eachother genuinely happy, maybe help each other enjoy whatever we have left of this miserable life?” he asks, his voice laced with uncertainty. 

I let his words sink in as I stare at the bit of wall behind him. As I consider all that he’s said I realize that he’s right, we do get along. I had spent years trying to find a male to fill the hole Azriel put in my  life, but it always felt wrong. It was as if I was taking someone else’s mate, even when the males didn’t have mates.  It didn’t feel wrong being with Lucien because I knew that his mate also didn’t want anything to do with him. 

I was tired of not always having someone to come home to. Not having someone to go to events with. Not having someone to spend holidays with. Not having someone to call my own. I was tired of being alone, especially since I had been alone for about 400 years, but no longer. 

I smile down at Lucien’s nervous face, “I would be honored to be your wife,” I say. 

“You would?” he beams. 

“I would,” I repeated back to him. “You’re right, we do get along, and I’m tired of being alone too.” 

He presses his lips to mine, both of us smiling into the kiss. We would never fill the sadness of a rejected mating bond, but we would be there for one another. I lay my  head down on his chest again, feeling the sleep come into my eyes. 

“How should we do it?” he asked, tracing shapes on my bare back.

“Hmm,” I thought for a moment. A big wedding seemed odd considering we weren’t mates or anything close to it. Eloping seemed more proper. “I think we should keep it small.”

“Do we tell them?” He ponders the most awkward question.

“We can tell them, but we don’t need to invite them. It can be a modified elopement, they will all know but we can just invite my brother and Feyre, that way we both have family there.” I answer snuggling into his warmth more. 

“By the Cauldron I have to tell your brother I’ve been sleeping with you for over a year,” Lucien said anxiously, running a hand down his face. 

I can’t help but laugh at his stress, “He might be a little mad, but I’m sure Feyre will be so excited about it that he won’t care.” I giggle. 

I feel his body relax under my cheek, no doubt realizing that whatever the High Lady says will be law. He slides a red and gold ring off his pinky finger and slips it onto my left hand. 

“Here, it’s a family ring,” he explains looking at the gaudy ring on  my hand. While it fits on my finger well the jewel on it takes up my whole hand and looks unnatural. “I know I’m not part of the Autumn Court anymore but it’s all I have.” he continues.

“It’s perfect,” I laugh, inspecting the ill-fitting thing, “it’s an outcast just like us.”

Lucien's soft chuckle escapes him as he plants a gentle kiss atop my head. Tomorrow promises its usual dose of chaos, but that's a concern for another day. Tonight, here in bed with my fiancé, though this isn't the life I envisioned, I find myself flooded with a happiness I haven't felt in ages.

Part 2,

Part 3 (Lucien's Version)

Part 3 ( Azriel's Version)

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always @crystalferret202

[delulluart]

Rise and Fall of Empires

Thoughts on symbolism, a short history lesson and Details under the cut!

Based on the Gladiateur Mourant by Pierre Julien (1779), I wanted to pick up the Theme of Impera, but, kind of before Impera. The neoclassical theme of the statue sparked the historian energy in me:

Using the antique laurel wreath - but inspired by the one Napoleon, as one of the biggest symbols for Imperialism, wears in paintings, a golden one, instead of one made from the plant - in a homage to both Roman Emperors and later ones, like Napoleon, referencing them, to depict Copia as the ruling figure, the one who built the empire.

The dagger, a roman pugio, too, is a nod to the Antiquity, but the late Republic: It's Brutus' (we know the shape from coins; i just satanised the cross a bit) that he used to stab Caesar, who is so iconic that his name even became the word for emperor in many languages.

I put Copia here in the roles of some famous ruling figures, who, yes, brought their respective empires to new heights, reached a god-like status, but also, ultimately, failed.

But, it's not necessarily an end, a failure, here - the dagger, glowing brightly, as it stabs him through his mark of the beast tattoo. The thought was to maybe make this the end of the Cardinal, who had just ascended to Papacy (old face, old paints) and now fully grows into Papa Emeritus IV, achieving even more. Or something. Maybe it just looks rad. (I put quite a bit of thought into this for once and I actually really like how it turned out; Caravaggio & co are some of my faves; I love Ghost and the roman antiquity and hopefully didn't bore y'all to death with nerd ramblings)

Proof that it sparkles which can't be seen in the edited scan:

[svtiddiess]

Revved Up

Synopsis: Yoon Jeonghan, the undisputed king of the tracks, with an ego that goes at par with his unshakeable record, finally meets his match when a rookie appears, determined to snatch victories right out from under his nose.

Pairing: underground racer!Jeonghan x underground racer!afab!reader

Genre: rivals to ??, underground racer au, smut, oneshot

Rating: mature

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: Jeonghan's kind of an asshole, some misogynistic remarks, hate sex, semi-public sex (but nobody's around), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), marking, Jeonghan smokes, lemme know if I've missed anything!

Note: This was inspired by this edit. Thank you so much to @tusswrites @nothoughtsjustfic and @soo0hee for helping me with the fic, this fic wouldn't have left the vault without your help!

Thank you so much to @shadowkoo for the amazing banner!

Also, I'd like to thank @tomodachiii for making me make them fuck on top of the car.

Click here to join my taglist!

Read on ao3

Reblogs are appreciated ♡

.ᐟMinors/blank/no age indicator blogs will be blocked.ᐟ

On top of the world.

That's how Jeonghan feels at the moment as he passes the finish line, winning first place once again. He leans back in his seat, chest heaving from the adrenaline and a smirk painted on his face. 

A crowd gathers around his car, cheering and congratulating him on yet another victory—his tenth consecutive win. He steps out, removing his helmet and running a hand through his slightly damp blonde hair. Catching sight of a group of girls nearby, he flashes them a flirty wink and a smug grin, sending them into a fit of squeals and giggles. While the adrenaline rush fuels his passion for underground racing, this moment is undoubtedly his favourite: the unmatched fame, glory, and attention that come with it.

He walks over to where his friends are waiting. They greet him with a smile and several pats on the back, each congratulating him on his victory.

"That's your tenth win. It looks like your winning streak is still going strong," grins Seungcheol, his childhood best friend. It was Seungcheol who first introduced Jeonghan to the underground racing scene, and after just one race, Jeonghan was hooked on the thrill of the lifestyle.

"Of course it is," Jeonghan scoffs. "I'm Yoon Jeonghan, after all."

"Your ego seems to grow with every race you win," grumbles Woozi, another friend and the group's reluctant mechanic. They met on a random Tuesday night when Jeonghan crashed his car right into Woozi's workshop. Angry didn’t even begin to cover how Woozi felt, but that incident sparked an unexpected friendship. After being introduced to Seungcheol, Woozi was roped into the role of the group's mechanic, though not exactly by choice.

"You'd think he'd have reached his peak by now, but nope. I’m always amazed at how much his ego grows with every race," Mingyu snickers. He's a racer too, though he prefers bikes over cars. His tall, muscular build gives off the impression of a tough guy; he’s anything but—Mingyu is a complete softie. It’s a mystery how someone like him ended up in a world as cutthroat as underground racing.

"You better watch that ego of yours. Your hubris will be your downfall," warns Minghao, a close friend of Jeonghan's who somehow managed to stumble into the underground racing scene. He seems to also have found a talent for racing, but he prefers to watch the races rather than participate in them.

Jeonghan rolls his eyes at the familiar jab. His friends never miss an opportunity to comment on his so-called massive ego. He doesn’t see it that way—he’s just got skill, luck, and the confidence to show it off. Why shouldn’t he?

Handsome, talented, charming, and lucky, Yoon Jeonghan truly is God's favourite after all.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Jeonghan brushes off the remarks, already distracted by thoughts of the after-party. This is his tenth win, after all, so it needs to be memorable: top-shelf whiskey, a VIP booth, and a few girls to top it off.

Grinning to himself, he slings an arm over Seungcheol’s shoulder as the group heads toward the exit. But then, a figure catches his eye, halting him in his tracks.

"Hey, who’s the chick?" Jeonghan asks, nodding toward a girl wearing a racing jacket, tinkering with what looks like her car.

"Oh, that's Y/N. I heard she’s new. Just signed up today," Mingyu informs them.

"A girl racing?" Jeonghan scoffs. "Good luck with that."

"Jerk," Seungcheol mutters, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Hey!" Jeonghan protests, raising his hands in mock defence. "I’m just saying! Girls aren’t exactly known for being good drivers."

"And she’s a newbie," he adds with a smirk. "I bet she’ll be running home crying after her first race."

A sharp voice cuts through their conversation.

"And what makes you so sure about that?"

Jeonghan turns to see the same girl standing in front of him, arms crossed, her glare sharp enough to cut steel.

"I’m just saying," Jeonghan shrugs, his lazy grin unfazed. "Newbies don’t usually last long here—especially cute ones like you." He winks at her.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs.

"And who are you to assume something like that?" she snaps.

"I’m Yoon Jeonghan, baby," he replies smoothly. "Longest winning streak in the game. Just got my tenth win, actually." He winks again, clearly enjoying himself.

"Never heard of you," she mutters.

Jeonghan’s smile falters for a split second, but he quickly recovers, slipping his hands into his back pockets as he steps closer.

"You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot," he says smoothly. "We’re heading out to celebrate my win at a party—why don’t you join us?" His grin widens as he adds, "Who knows, you might even get lucky and end up in bed with me." He throws in a wink for good measure.

"Fucking asshole," she mutters, brushing past him and deliberately bumping his shoulder, which only makes Jeonghan chuckle.

"You’ve really got to work on your attitude," Woozi sighs, shaking his head.

"I don’t see the problem," Jeonghan says with a shameless grin. "Hey, it’s her loss for passing up on this."

Woozi rolls his eyes and heads for the exit, the rest of the group following behind. Jeonghan lingers for a moment, glancing back at her one last time before turning to join them.

After downing his seventh shot, Jeonghan leans back into the booth, savouring the lingering burn in his throat. He feels a girl press against him—a chick he picked up earlier. What was her name again? Patty? Petunia? No, Patricia. Right, Patricia.

Glancing down at her, he smirks. She had mentioned coming here with a friend. Maybe tonight’s a two-for-one kind of night, he thinks with a sly grin.

He leans down and asks Patricia where her friend is. She points towards the dance floor, where a girl is surrounded by a crowd. Jeonghan squints, trying to get a better look. For a moment, it almost seems like that hot-headed chick he pissed off earlier—Y/N.

No way she’d show up here after the scene she made earlier. Guess she’s just like every other girl, after all, he thinks with a chuckle.

Smirking, Jeonghan makes his way onto the dance floor. He grabs the girl’s shoulder and spins her around, only to stop in his tracks. It’s not Y/N.

"Shit, sorry. Thought you were someone else," he mutters before retreating back to his seat.

Dropping into the booth, he groans, rubbing his face. The alcohol is definitely kicking in now. Why the hell is he even thinking about Y/N? He's got plenty of other girls grovelling at his feet for his attention.

Whatever.

Jeonghan grumbles and downs another shot, trying to shake her out of his mind. Sliding an arm around Patricia again, he leans in, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, earning soft giggles and a blush in return.

Girls are so easy, he muses with a smirk.

"You really need to check that ego of yours," a familiar voice cuts through his thoughts. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, turning toward the source—Minghao.

"Having an ego is fine," Minghao says, shrugging, "but your level of ego? That’s going to be your downfall. Just saying."

Jeonghan sighs, grabbing his whiskey. "How many times have you said this already?"

"I’m pretty sure this is his fifth time," Mingyu mumbles.

"It’s actually the seventh," Woozi interjects, sipping his water; he prefers not to drink and only goes to clubs if the others quite literally drag him there. "You weren’t around for the other two."

"Really?" Mingyu's eyes widen in surprise.

"I’m just saying," Minghao continues, undeterred. "I’ve seen people crash hard because of their egos. As your friend, I’d hate to see that happen to you."

Jeonghan chuckles, waving him off. "You worry too much, Hao. I’m Yoon Jeonghan. I’ve got nothing to worry about. Life’s great and only getting better." He leans back, taking another sip of his drink. Minghao shakes his head, sighing, as he takes a sip of his martini.

Just then, Seungcheol, who had been off picking up girls, returns with a girl under each arm.

"Hey, turns out Leah here is Patricia’s friend," Seungcheol smirks, gesturing to the girl on his right.

Jeonghan’s grin widens. "This is why you’re my best friend, Cheol," he laughs.

Seungcheol chuckles, helping Leah settle into the seat beside Jeonghan. Now surrounded by two girls, Jeonghan’s smile grows even bigger.

"Tonight’s going to be a great night," he says, laughing softly before leaning in to tease Leah with kisses while his hand moves to caress Patricia’s thigh.

Booze, friends, and girls—what better way to celebrate a race win?

The next race day rolls around, and Jeonghan is casually chatting with a group of girls while the other racers prep their cars. Checking on his own car? That’s Woozi’s job, after all. Jeonghan has more important things to do—like charming his fangirls.

As he scans the lineup of racers, his eyes land on Y/N. To his surprise, she’s here, busy with some last-minute prep near her car. A smirk spreads across his face as he saunters over to her.

"Well, well. Didn’t think you’d actually show up, babygirl," Jeonghan taunts, breaking her focus.

Y/N looks up, her expression already annoyed. "Don’t you have better things to do than bother me before the race?" she snaps.

"Nope, can’t think of anything better, baby," Jeonghan replies, his signature smirk firmly in place.

With a frustrated huff, Y/N rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her car, clearly done with him. As she bends down to grab something, Jeonghan lets out a low wolf whistle, his grin widening.

"Damn, you might have the finest ass I've ever seen; almost make me wanna bite into it," Jeonghan whistles with a low chuckle.

Y/N snaps her head around, her eyes blazing with fury.

"You better fuck off before I do something I regret," she snarls, her tone sharp enough to cut.

Jeonghan grins, completely unfazed. "Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do, little rookie?"

Her glare intensifies. "I’m gonna smack you so hard, you’ll forget which way the track goes," she growls through gritted teeth.

Jeonghan laughs, stepping closer until their faces are inches apart. He tilts her chin up with his hand, his cocky smirk growing.

"I’d love to see you try, little rookie," he whispers, his voice dripping with arrogance.

"Fucking asshole!" Y/N spits, smacking his hand away and storming off, her footsteps heavy with frustration.

Jeonghan watches her retreat, amused. His smirk lingers as he turns back to his car, throwing a final wink at his fangirls before sliding into the driver’s seat and strapping on his helmet.

"Can't wait to see you cry, little rookie," he mutters to himself, revving the engine.

Jeonghan drives to the starting line, aligning his car with the others. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and feels his heartbeat thumping in his ears as the adrenaline surges through his veins. Letting out a slow breath, he opens his eyes and smirks. Today will be the day he claims his eleventh win, he tells himself.

The starter steps forward, raising the green flag. Jeonghan grips the steering wheel tighter, revving the engine in anticipation. The flag drops, and the cars launch forward. As always, Jeonghan takes the lead.

He smirks, watching the growing gap between himself and the other racers.

"This’ll be a breeze," he chuckles to himself.

But his smirk falters when he notices Y/N's car tailing him, closing the gap fast.

"Hmm, not bad," he thinks, pushing the pedal harder to create more distance. But Y/N stays right on his tail, getting closer with each turn. Jeonghan's eyes widen as he realises the speed at which she's gaining on him. He quickly regains composure and focuses on maintaining his momentum.

As Y/N’s car continues to close the distance, Jeonghan’s frustration builds. He curses under his breath and slams the pedal to the floor, opting for raw speed over caution.

A sharp corner approaches and Jeonghan takes the inner road, determined to block Y/N from passing. But to his surprise, she takes the outer road and overtakes him. As she pulls ahead, their eyes meet, and Jeonghan swears he catches a smirk beneath her helmet.

Y/N speeds away and is now in the lead. Scowling, Jeonghan attempts to overtake her, but she doesn’t give him an inch. With each failed attempt, his frustration grows. The finish line is nearing, and if he doesn’t pass her, he’ll lose—and Yoon Jeonghan never loses.

Jeonghan slams the pedal again and attempts a sharp turn to pass Y/N, but she expertly dodges his move, blocking him out.

"Fuck!" Jeonghan curses, his frustration boiling over.

The finish line looms ahead, and despite his efforts, Y/N crosses it first, claiming victory. Jeonghan finishes in second place, seething with disbelief.

Jeonghan sits in the car for a moment, trying to process what just happened. He… lost. Yoon Jeonghan, the guy with an undefeated streak, just lost to some rookie. Unbelievable. He scoffs, slamming his hand on the steering wheel before getting out of the car. In a rush, he yanks off his helmet and tosses it aside, storming towards Y/N.

He takes a second to compose himself, then flashes a smirk as he leans against her car.

"Not bad… for a rookie," he says, his tone dripping with mock approval.

Y/N looks up at him from the driver’s seat, smirking in return.

"This rookie just beat your ass," she retorts, her voice full of playful challenge. "What happened to your winning streak? Must suck to get beaten by a girl rookie."

Jeonghan's smirk falters for a moment, the sting of defeat hitting him harder than he expected.

"I don’t know how you managed to get ten wins with that lousy driving," she continues, a teasing laugh escaping her lips. "The other drivers must’ve been really bad."

Jeonghan chuckles, trying to mask his frustration.

"You just got lucky, little rookie. Beginner's luck," he shrugs, leaning in closer to her. "You'll be eating my dust next race; I’ll make sure of it, baby."

"We’ll see about that, Jeonghan," she smirks, the challenge still in her eyes.

Jeonghan grins wide, full of cocky confidence.

"It’s official, you’re now Yoon Jeonghan’s rival," he says.

Y/N scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"Wow, what an honour," she replies sarcastically, her tone dripping with irony.

Before Jeonghan can respond, she speeds off, leaving him stumbling behind, caught off guard.

"Fucking bitch," he mutters under his breath, shaking off his frustration as he regains his balance.

"Just you wait. I'll make you regret your actions, little rookie," he growls before walking to where his friends await him.

The next few races, much to Jeonghan's disappointment and frustration, followed the same infuriating pattern—he’d dominate the track, taking the lead and building good momentum, only for Y/N to overtake him at the last corner, snatching victory right out of his grasp.

And with every win, Y/N’s taunts grew bolder and more irritating. She had the winning streak now—not him. Jeonghan was stuck with second place, which, in his mind, was just first place for losers.

Still, Jeonghan kept up his confident facade. He’d smirk, laugh it off, and dismiss her wins with a nonchalant wave. "Beginner’s luck," he’d say every single time. And Y/N would roll her eyes and scoff at his excuse. Every single time.

Another race, another loss—his fifth in a row. Jeonghan stormed out of his car, tossing his helmet somewhere without care, running a hand through his damp hair in frustration. He strode over to Y/N’s car, only to see her climbing out with an obnoxiously big grin plastered across her face.

"Five losses, Yoon. Looks like you’re on a losing streak," she says, laughing in his face.

Jeonghan scoffed, narrowing his eyes. "I’m just letting you have a taste of what victory feels like. Don’t get too comfortable, little one," he shot back, his tone dripping with condescension.

"Sure you are," she replied with a mocking smirk. "Maybe it’s time you retire, old man. Looks like you’re not fit for the track anymore."

"Old man?" Jeonghan repeated, incredulous, stepping closer until their noses almost touched. His voice dropped dangerously low. "I’ll make you regret saying that, little rookie."

"Go ahead," she challenges, leaning in slightly, her gaze unwavering as it locked onto his.

"Han," a familiar voice cut through the tension. Jeonghan turns his head to see Seungcheol standing with the rest of his group, watching him expectantly.

It was then that Jeonghan noticed the sudden hush around them—everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch the standoff unfold.

He turns back to Y/N, his smirk returning. "Consider this a warning, little rookie," he said coolly before stepping away and heading off with his friends.

Y/N just rolled her eyes and turned back to her car, ignoring the stares of the crowd still lingering around her.

Sighing, Jeonghan steps onto the track. It’s the night before a race, and restless energy had dragged him out of bed. Somehow, his legs had brought him here, to the place that always seemed to quiet the chaos in his mind. Maybe it was the strange connection he had with racing, but the track always had a way of grounding him.

He pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and takes a long drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs before exhaling it into the cool night air. Closing his eyes, he feels the warmth of the nicotine spread through his body, contrasting with the crisp chill around him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" a sharp voice cuts through the silence.

Jeonghan spins around, and there she is—Y/N, arms crossed, her glare piercing through the dark.

"I should be asking you that," he retorts, narrowing his eyes and throwing away the cigarette bud.

"I’m here to scope out the track before the race," she says defensively, her lips curving into a smirk. "But you? I bet you’re here to sabotage it. Face it, that’s probably the only way you’ll win at this point."

His jaw tightens, and in two quick strides, he’s in front of her. His hand shoots out, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look up at him.

"You really think I’d stoop so low as to cheat?" he scoffs, his voice dripping with disdain.

"I think you’d do anything to win," she counters, her smirk unyielding as she leans closer. "Cheating included."

"I’m not you," he growls, their faces so close their breaths mingle in the cool air.

Her expression darkens. "Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"How else would someone like you manage to win?" he sneers, his voice laced with mockery.

"Talent and dedication," she snaps back. "Two things you lack. Clearly."

"All you have is luck, little rookie. And we both know it’s going to run out," he fires back, smirking.

Her eyes glint with challenge. "Well, it looks like your luck’s been gone for a while, Yoon," she says smugly.

Scowling, Jeonghan doesn’t bother with another word. Instead, he closes the distance between them, crashing his lips against hers in a heated, impulsive kiss. She lets out a startled squeak, her hands instinctively clutching at his shirt as he pulls her closer, pouring all his frustration and fire into the kiss.

"Jump," he murmurs against her lips. Without hesitation, she wraps her legs around his waist, locking herself against him.

Still lost in the kiss, he strides toward his parked car nearby, effortlessly hoisting her up before laying her down on the hood.

He breaks the kiss briefly, just long enough to strip away both their shirts, before crashing his lips back onto hers. His hands explore her bare skin, sending a shiver through her as his touch lingers. With practiced ease, he slides a hand behind her and unhooks her bra in one swift motion, letting it fall away and exposing her.

Pulling back slightly, his gaze sweeps over her, and a smirk tugs at his lips. "Not bad," he remarks teasingly.

She rolls her eyes and tugs him back into the kiss, her lips silencing further remarks. His hand sneaks up and toys with her nipple, eliciting a whimper from her. Their tongues fight for dominance as he continues to abuse her nipples.

"Are you gonna fuck me or what?" she growls against his lips.

"So impatient," he chuckles, a teasing grin spreading across his face. "Didn’t know you were such a slut," he taunts, earning a sharp scowl from her.

Without missing a beat, he makes quick work of the buttons on her pants, and she lifts her hips to help slide them off along with her panties. Now completely bare, she lies sprawled across the hood of her car, her defiant gaze locked on his.

Running a finger through her slit, he chuckles. "Hm, so wet already. Knew you couldn't resist me, little rookie."

"Fuck you," she spits.

"That's exactly what I'm doing," he teases before inserting a finger into her tight hole.

She throws her head back with a curse as Jeonghan's finger moves inside her with slow, deliberate thrusts. Leaning down, he trails his lips along her neck and collarbones, leaving a series of love bites—each placed carefully to ensure they’ll be visible, even beneath a shirt.

Sliding in another finger, he curls them until he finds that sensitive, spongey spot deep inside her. A loud moan spills from her lips as he presses against it, his smirk widening with satisfaction. He focuses on that spot, relentlessly drawing out her moans and whimpers.

"Shit, I’m so close! Fuck!" she cries out, her brows furrowing as she chases her release.

But just as she’s about to tip over the edge, he cruelly withdraws his fingers, leaving her trembling and frustrated.

She lets out a loud, furious wail, her eyes blazing as they lock on him. "What the fuck?!"

Jeonghan tilts his head, his smirk lazy and infuriating. "What, you thought I’d let you finish that easily, little rookie?" he taunts, his tone dripping with playful malice.

"You fucking assh—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Jeonghan quickly slips out his dick and thrusts into her without any warning.

"Shit!" she cries, her hands clutching Jeonghan's shoulders for stability.

He thrusts into her with an unrelenting, almost primal rhythm, the car beneath them shaking with each movement. The night air fills with a symphony of grunts, moans, and the metallic creak of the car's hood. Their heated bodies contrast sharply against the cool breeze, creating an intoxicating mix of sensations.

"I hate you—fuck—I hate you," she moans, her voice shaky with every thrust.

"Yeah? I hate you too, little rookie," he growls in response, his words laced with defiance and desire.

"I'm close," she whimpers out, nails digging into his shoulders. Sneaking a hand between their bodies, Jeonghan starts circling her clit.

With a loud cry, her body trembles beneath him as she climaxes, gripping him tightly. Jeonghan lets out a low groan, continuing to thrust into her, drawing out every wave of her release as her juices coat him.

After a few more thrusts, he pulls out and jerks himself off before cumming onto the track with a groan.

They take a moment to catch their breath before slipping back into their clothes. Jeonghan lights another cigarette and leans against the hood of the car, settling down beside Y/N; both of them staring at the track ahead.

Jeonghan extends the hand holding his cigarette toward her, a silent offer.

"I don’t smoke," she scoffs.

"Wow, how thrillingly boring," he chuckles, taking another drag.

"Sorry for wanting to keep my lungs functional," she retorts, rolling her eyes.

Jeonghan laughs softly and exhales a puff of smoke. Y/N pulls her knees to her chest, shivering slightly as the cold night air wraps around them. Silence falls between them, broken only by the occasional crackle of Jeonghan’s cigarette.

"Why do you do it?" she suddenly asks, her voice quiet.

Jeonghan glances at her, puzzled. "Do what?"

"Racing," she says, turning her head to meet his gaze. "Why do you do it?"

He takes a long drag, tilts his head back, and exhales slowly into the crisp night air. Stubbing out the cigarette, he shifts his focus back to her.

"I didn’t have… the best parents," he starts, his voice low. "Honestly, I wouldn’t even call them parents."

She listens intently as his brows furrow. "They hated me from the second I was born. Treated me like I was invisible—like I didn’t even exist."

His fingers fidget with a loose thread on his shirt. "Growing up, I was always the kid in the shadows. The loner. The weird kid no one wanted to talk to."

Jeonghan chuckles dryly, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "I didn’t make my first real friend until my last year of high school. Pure accident. But somehow, me and Cheol hit it off."

"Cheol’s the one who dragged me into underground racing. I didn’t think much of it at first but after just one race…I was hooked. The adrenaline, the thrill…it was addictive."

He pauses, his gaze softening as a faint smile tugs at his lips. "Then came my first win. When I stepped out of that car, everyone swarmed me, congratulating me. For the first time in my life, I felt…seen."

His eyes drift to the stars above. "I wasn’t a shadow anymore. People knew my name. They cheered for me. They loved me."

His voice softens as he turns to her. "That’s why I race—to be seen. To matter. To finally step out of the shadows and into the light."

For a moment, their eyes lock in a shared silence, his words lingering in the air between them.

Then she looks away, a chuckle escaping her lips. "Wow. You’re a special kind of asshole," she mutters.

Jeonghan blinks, startled. "What?"

"Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing, Yoon," she says, narrowing her eyes.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about," he replies, feigning innocence.

"Spare me," she snaps. "You’re trying to manipulate me with your little sob story, so I’ll throw tomorrow’s race. But it’s not gonna work, Yoon. I see right through you."

Jeonghan stares at her, caught off guard. He opens his mouth to argue, but no words come out. She laughs in his face.

"God, you’re pathetic," she says, shaking her head as she hops off the hood. "Get ready to lose again tomorrow."

With a smirk, she saunters off to her car, leaving Jeonghan speechless. He watches as her silhouette fades into the night, a mixture of shock and frustration etched on his face.

The next day arrives, Jeonghan scans the area, searching for Y/N. Maybe he can explain himself, convince her he wasn’t trying to manipulate her into throwing the race—that he was being genuine. Even though that’s exactly what he had been trying to do.

Spotting her by her car, checking it over one last time, he strides toward her purposefully.

"Y/N, I—let me explain, please," he begins, his tone uncharacteristically earnest.

Her only response is to put on her helmet, flip him off without a word, and climb into her car. She drives off toward the starting line, leaving Jeonghan stunned and frustrated.

Muttering under his breath, he storms back to his car, slamming the door as he gets in. He pulls on his helmet, his jaw tight as he rolls up to the start line beside her. For a brief moment, their eyes meet, and even through her helmet, he can tell she’s smirking.

Scowling, he looks away, trying to focus on the race ahead.

But it ends just like the last five—Y/N taking first place, and Jeonghan trailing behind in second.

Scoffing in disbelief, Jeonghan climbs out of his car, tearing off his helmet as he runs a frustrated hand through his damp hair. His gaze drifts to Y/N, surrounded by a cheering crowd congratulating her on another victory. She looks radiant, basking in their admiration, which only deepens the scowl on Jeonghan’s face.

Their eyes meet for a fleeting moment, and Jeonghan can see the triumphant glint in hers.

He smirks, despite himself. "Enjoy it while it lasts, little rookie," he mutters, his voice low but filled with determination. "Because I’ll make sure this is only temporary."

His eyes darken, a wave of anger and frustration crashing over him as he watches her revel in what should have been his victory—a victory she snatched right out of his grasp. His fists tighten at his sides, resolve surging through his veins like fire. He will beat her. He’s Yoon Jeonghan, after all—the one on top of the world.

Taglist: @tinyelfperson @gyuguys @stay-tiny-things @unlikelysublimekryptonite @miyx-amour @iamawkwardandshy @codeinebelle @brownbunnyb @do-you-remember-summer-127 @sclovreina @theidontknowmehn @toplinehyunjin @gyuhao365 @mysticfairies @cherrylovescheol @cookiearmy @4shypotato @lxnnrobin

[ch3rryjampi3]

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"Katsuki, let's break up."

"Hah? Hell no. Not happening."

"What do you mean 'hell no'? I wanna break up with you cuz I can't stand you anymore."

"Then sit. Why were you standing anyways?"

"This is why!! You aren't taking my words seriously!!And our relationship...It's just- It's not working for me anymore..."

"Then I'll fucking fix it, I'll make it work."

"I don't know if you can... I don't even feel the chemistry we once had anymore."

"Then I'll use my fucking ass quirk to spark it up."

"...I can't face you no more what the actual fuck."

"Then turn around then dumbass."

"I hate you."

"I love you too."

"What is wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me baby, I'm just obsessed with you."

"Your insane..."

"You make me insane. Everything you have, everything you do, just everything about you make me insane."

"Your ridiculous."

"And you love it."

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A/N: Hihi!! Sorry for suddenly disappearing, lifes tough lolss Anyways this was inspired by an ai text story in tiktok that came up to my fyp lmfaoo It gave me motivation to write another oneshot! Might edit this😓‼️

[purrpl-png]

my take on beast & ancient swap au burning spice & golden cheese edition

i have this au expanded bc i've been thinking about it for the past month or so, but i want to share some basic ideas i came up with for a bs & gc swap during all this time even if most of it seems kinda obvious

so basically golden cheese, formerly the herald of change, now holds the soul jam of destruction and her corruption has its roots in her greed obv, as time passed it grew bigger and bigger until it became harmful to everyone around her. she treats everything and everyone as her property, but not in a healthy way and believes that she can do whatever she wants with what is hers, thus being destruction. the whole world is already hers and she's so rich and spoiled that the treasures are not precious anymore and now are just some toys to play with until they break and she founds new ones. she can afford it. more and more and more and more

her appearance resembles more of a snake now than a bird. she flies much less than her og version and her wings are usually down, but it doesn't make her dislike using her wings

burning spice holds the light of abundance. he is a strong, brave and kind hero, he isn't greedy, in fact he's really generous. same as the og golden cheese, has lost his kingdom he deared so much in a war. but unlike her, he didn't make a virtual version of it, instead he tried to move on and build a new one from scratch, starting off small, which he succeeds to do much later on. as much as he enjoys witnessing the creation of something new, watching the new life spark, he still misses everything he held so dear before

his looks are inspired from his pre-corruption silhouette from the official beasts introduction video. normally, he has 4 arms, but after the first fight with golden cheese, she rips off the extra 2 of them. as he awakens, he gets his 6 arms

both the spice gang and the cheese gang are alive and well here and now

the spice gang is helping burning spice to regain his kingdoms prosperity, however only nutmeg tiger made it to beast-yeast together with burning spice by an accident

the cheese gang follow golden cheese more out of their own greed, trying to survive and get a piece of the riches

obviously, smoked cheese is swapped with nutmeg tiger. nutmeg tiger is still a strong mighty warrior, a proud general of burning spices kingdom. she shows a lot of care and loyalty to burning spice, always standing by his side. she has her own garden in the kingdom to take care of the plants because of her in-game sprite where she smiles watering the plants and i thought it was hella cute to ignore lol

smoked cheeses appearance and attitude didn't really change much because he was already villainous enough. but now he's extra villainous. he might be actually the only one to truly admire golden cheeses toxic greed, but is always ready to stab her back if anything for his own greater good. he's just as evil and greedy as her and he waits for a perfect moment to strike and take everything to himself, which didn't happen yet

mozzarella, being swapped with cilantro cobra, just like her gets killed by her ruler too. golden cheese accidentally kills mozzarella in her pursuit for burning spice

her loyal marzipan cookies followed her everywhere, listening to her orders

burnt cheese is swapped with safron buffalo and fettuccine with pepper pangolin

cheesebirds are swapped with kulfis. cheesebirds, just as og kulfis, live in fear and only wish to survive. elder kulfi (now high priest kulfi) is swapped with high priest cheesenbird (now elder cheesebird)

elder cheesebird and young cheesebird give burning spice and nutmeg tiger a shelter. young cheesebird later on gets saved by burning spice in his first fight with golden cheese

high priest kulfi is the holy healing herald of the burning spice kingdoms house of prayer and is a dear friend of burning spice

there is much-much more ideas and thoughts i can yap about, but im not a writer, i wanted to keep it as short as possible and also english isn't my first language so the language barrier is demolishing me lol im sorry if it was painful to read

i might actually redesign the designs a little bit later, those are just some random sketches i did to kinda imagine the blurry shape i have in my head on a paper as a whole, not getting into the details. and if a lot of yall like it i might actually put an effort and draw something much more than just two raw simple sketches lol

also please credit me if you want to use these designs or got inspired, i would really appreciate that :3