#but that really feels like it encourages us-vs-them mindsets

[jucomx]

Being like absolutely not on the autism spectrum honestly feels like more of a disorder than having mild ASS, like you're gonna tell me the people that can socialise with others on the spectrum on a whim are less good at being a social species than those that need months to establish "friendship" before they can have proper conversation?

[genderkoolaid]

i don not understand this strategy of pretending that trans men never suffer, and if they do it's always below the amount of suffering that trans women face. i cannot understand how such a strategy could benefit trans women at all? why do so many people fall into that line of thinking

Tbh I don't think it's pretending.

I think it's just that people are hurt and blinded by that hurt, especially when there are communities that encourage an us vs them mindset towards other vulnerable people. Transfems' trauma and suffering isn't taken seriously by society, they are often left to rot without support by their communities.

Combine that with the pre-existing transmasc erasure: most people don't really know much about the kinds of things transmascs can experience. Most people rely on their cultural knowledge on transmascs' and their interpersonal experiences, which leaves a fuckton of holes in our understanding.

Ultimately, to be pretentious about the whole thing, people want to be heard and have their pain validated. And because we are deeply insecure creatures, we often end up seeing other people, unfairly, as our enemies in this goal. When that feeling interacts with internalized biases, you get people who make wildly inaccurate claims about others in an effort to validate their own pain. There's a reason that screenshotted post is a single sentence for the transmasc and then an entire, in-detail example for the transfem. The point, to me, seems to be venting about the pain of anti-transfeminine violence. But because Tumblr, the OP felt the need to rope in a vague strawman of a transmasc who exists for no other reason than to be Whiny and Less Oppressed based off the OP's view of how transmascs experience the violence of gender. It makes no sense if you, like, critically think about how misogyny works or if you talk to transmascs (especially those raised in strongly conservative cultures). But the point was never to be accurate about transmasc experiences in the first place.

The same thing happens with TERFs. Many of them have real, genuine trauma and pain that comes from their experiences with misogyny. But, because of pre-existing internalized transphobia and the influence of their TERF community, they feel the need to frame this pain through the lens of trans women being super privileged. They have only a bare understanding of the violence and hatred trans women face, but the point isn't to be accurate about trans women. It's about getting to that feeling of righteous anger and being heard via making a strawman out of a group you are already predisposed to hating.

[menuliso]

alright i ranted about this on twitter but lowkey i want to see what people on tumblr have to say bc i havent really seen anyone talk about this. though lowkey someone probably already has.

has anyone else noticed a trend in the bkdk space on tiktok of people really insisting that ‘BakuDeku🧡💚’ and ‘bkdk’ are two completely different things? because i have, and i don’t get it.

according to these people, ‘BakuDeku🧡💚’ is the version of bkdk where people mischaracterise them, sexualise them, and are overall ‘weird’ and ‘cringe’. they think it’s problematic. meanwhile, ‘bkdk’, the one they identify as, is ‘according to canon’ and is the ‘slowburn’, ‘right way of shipping bkdk’ and theyre not ‘weird’ or ‘cringe’.

to me, when people say this, it feels like a way to split the fandom up and appear more likable to dudebros and antis. its an ‘us vs them’, its a ‘we’re better than those weird shippers, we’re normal’ thing. and. it really doesn’t make any sense. absolutely no one has used ‘BakuDeku🧡💚’ as a way to display their preferences or opinions or anything,,, it’s just the extended ship name with an emoji combo. this ‘divide’ doesn’t exist, it was invented solely by the self proclaimed ‘normal bkdks’. and they make SUCH a big deal out of this.

the dudebros aren’t going to like you any better because you ship bkdk in a ‘normal’ way. the antis aren’t going to be kinder to you just because you’re not as ‘weird’ as the rest of us. you are in fandom. fandom is weird. it’s been weird since its conception. by splitting fandom up into categories, you are encouraging negativity to sprout up and you are pressuring yourself and other people to stay in the realm of ‘normal’… aka… making fun of other shippers for not being ‘normal’, or being cringe. or staying in the puritanical mindset that anything involving fictional characters doing anything more than kissing is harmful and bad and apparently super bad morally.

be cringe. be free. no one fucking cares. don’t be scared of other people having silly fandom fun. don’t be scared to have silly fandom fun yourself. once you stop hating, and stop caring about the haters, the internet is so much more enjoyable.

[ellaenchanting]

WHAT IS MINDFULNESS VS HYPNOSIS ACCORDING TO ELLA ENCHANTING (haver of opinions)

One misconception that I often hear amongst hypnosis geeks is that "mindfulness" is basically a normie-safe word for "hypnosis"- that hypnosis and mindfulness practices are essentially the same thing.

This is a hard misconception to disprove- in fact, "hypnosis" and "mindfulness" are often defined really vaguely and in different ways by different people so- they could often very well be refering to the same thing!* I know when I first learned about mindfulness practices, I dismissed them as "just" repackaged hypnotherapy- something I already knew a lot about. However, in doing so, I was neglecting ideas that turned out to be a really useful self-improvement tools.

If you're of a similar mindset, drawing a distinction between the two may also be really helpful for you.

MINDFULNESS:

So, the end goal of mindfulness is learning a kind of grounded way to self reflect. It's a potentially really helpful skill for people who get caught in thought spirals** or overwhelming emotions. A big goal for people learning the skill is to be able to observe thoughts and emotions without entirely buying into them OR dismissing them. Let's say I have a train of thought that keeps looping in my head- I'm worried about something stupid I said yesterday at work, for example. Imagine that train of thought is an ACTUAL train- maybe a toy train running on a looped track. Normally, when you're having the work worries it's like you're on that thought train- riding it around and around in circles while you're getting increasingly anxious and kind of limiting yourself from doing other things. With mindfulness practice, the goal is to get you OFF the train- it's not gone, but you're kinda watching it from the sidelines instead of ON it. It's still happening but with a bit of distance you can see the thoughts more clearly and better take care of yourself while that thought track is running.

Another example- let's say I have a big feeling. I'm going to pick overwhelming shame***. In mindfulness practices, the goal is usually not to ignore the shame or entirely give into it but to be able to sit with it and understand it without DROWNING in it. So, in that state of mind, I might sit with the shame and kind of question why it's there and what it wants from me. I might find some kindness for myself as someone who is experiencing shame (which is harder to do when I'm more inside it). I might work to conceptualize the shame differently- what does it look like, what sounds does it make, etc. In that way, I'm paying attention to an emotion that might be helpful- but not overly giving into it.

If I were teaching someone mindfulness techniques, the goal there is for them to be able to use the techniques entirely on their own whenever they need to. I'm not really trying to overly influence or control what's happening for them- I'm keeping my language as permissive as possible and encouraging them to accept whatever comes up. "Notice what's there without feeling like you need to change it" is a common mindfulness instruction. The practice encourages curiosity and bravery in the face of the overwhelming STUFF of life.

HYPNOSIS:

There are lot of different ways people do and experience hypnosis- and I'm definitely not going to be able to address all of them here. But, at least in kink, my goal in hypnotizing someone is to directly influence their thoughts. In fact, when I'm hypnotizing someone, a lot of my "induction" is convincing someone that I'm already in their head- that they're responding automatically to my suggestions. There's the kinky control fun of that and also the mutual shared feeling of intimacy- we're so close we could be one. (Or, in more D/s-ey terms, we're so close that now you are an extension of me!) In 101 classes you'll learn about the pacing and leading technique- basically matching your subject's experience and then taking them a step further. (Ex. You're reading my words and focusing on the screen and that reminds you to take a deep breath NOW.)

Explaining it by cold control hypnosis theory****, during an induction I'm helping someone kind of flip OFF their awareness of their agency- creating the illusion that things are happening internally because I'm MAKING them happen (and disguising the part where they're in complete control of their actions).

Especially in kink, what we're doing in hypnosis play is often a really conscious power exchange. You're giving me power over your thoughts because you want me to have it. I direct them where I want them to go and away from where I don't want them to be (ex. the actual reason why you're relaxing is, in part, because that's a natural thing that happens for most people when they close their eyes for more than a few seconds). (That's an excellent babysitting/parenting pro tip from me to you btw.) It's not that subjects aren't actively contributing their own images/ideas/metaphors/desires to the suggestions and play (really often they are!) but usually their whole goal is to be directed.

Even in hypnotherapy, that directedness and control is implied. You're not coming on (nearly) as strong as you would in kink, but your goal there is usually more in direction (with teaching self hypnosis techniques as an added bonus).

Sometimes the hypnosis and mindfulness methodologies can be incredibly similar with really subtle differences! For example, I might start a mindfulness-teaching body scan in the same way that I might start a progressive muscle relaxation induction- "Go ahead and get into a comfortable position and close your eyes". But continuing with the hypnosis induction, I'll usually be more directive ("Notice your feet. As you're noticing them, imagine sending a wave of relaxation down to your toes.") whereas with the body scan I'll be more exploratory. ("Notice your feet. What do they feel like? Are they hot or cold? Do they want to move or stay still? Whatever is happening for them right now is fine- just notice them") The pmr induction is intended to move someone into a suggestible state, the body scan is intended to teach someone a particular mindset and focusing skill they can use later. *****

Like I stated before, things that I consider "hypnosis" ideas and techniques and "mindfulness" ideas and techniques get mixed up all the time- with both lay folks and the actual professionals who teach them. There's a lot of surface similarities. "Mindfulness" has become such a therapy and corporate buzzword that it often DOES become synonymous with things like guided relaxation. Both concepts are vague enough that there's a lot of things that can easily be either/or- I'm thinking self hypnosis specifically here******. But- I hope if you're curious about mindfulness at all, you'll find this explanation useful and will maybe go out and explore some helpful resources for yourself.

Good mindfulness 101 books:

Full Catastrophe Living- Jon Kabat Zinn

The Mindful Way Through Depression- J. Mark G Williams et all

Just an FYI here at the bottom- like all self-help techniques, mindfulness stuff can be extremely helpful to some and not at all helpful to others. If it hasn't been personally helpful to you that's fine! I hope you've found some other things that are. Also, you can feel free to take my self help advice just as seriously as you would of any other kinky fetish blogger. :p I'm not your therapist, feel free to check in with them about things that might help you.

*I think people expanding the definition and ideas around both of these can be really helpful, in fact!

**Of the not-fun kind

***You know, like I normally do

****One of many hypnosis theories! And often not the best one for kink! If hypnosis doesn't feel like this for you, that's perfectly ok!

*****OK, in actuality both probably do both things! But the emphasis is different.

******A big difference in my mind- if you discover pain or discomfort, hypnosis-style techniques are usually directing you away from that while mindfulness-style techniques are usually directing you towards curiousity about those things.

[dotthings]

The performative outrage farming style of leftism in this site has gotten so ridiculous there’s literally accounts who spread misinformation against the Democratic candidates that tries to make people feel miserable about voting for them, because people want to feel virtuous, I guess, at the same time they turn around and tell you to vote and voting is so important!!!!

Are these real people? Are they agitprops? Who even knows anymore. The actual election interference diatribes have been going on for months, and the nihilistic grind has predictably now turned towards Harris-Walz.

And the lying about the progressive policies at the top has to end. Too bad if it’s inconvenient for your sense of absolutist morality. Distorted narratives won’t help anybody. “Both sides equally bad” “both sides are the same” is an appalling and blatant lie and every time I see it I wonder if someone is actually an agitpropping election interference bot.

It’s not “progressive” to keep drinking the nihilistic chaos agent kool aid. Some really just want the US to burn and don’t care about the global harm of that or how many people in marginalized groups in the US would get hurt.

Speaking out is important and criticizing politicians is important. Contact your reps, protest, donate. But it’s more complex than that.

There is a whole wide gap between alert, active, critical & supportive engagement with democracy vs nihilism & performative wokeness that isn’t actually saving people and in fact enables mindsets that could result in the side winning this US election that will not only make things worse globally and in the US but unleash a full on dystopia where civil liberties in the US are gone and people will die from it. I’m sick and tired of this faux moralistic superiority that encourages throwing open the gates to even more death and suffering. Oh yeah that’ll teach everyone a lesson!!! Society is saved!!!

If you want to live in a better society, you don’t just shoot your mouth off on social media. You don’t only engage in outrage farming. You do the work.

You engage not just to performatively and nihilistically scream and yell about how all the establishment US politicians suck, you also engage positively to support the ones in power you think are doing better, and you plan for the future. Want things to move in a more progressive direction at the top? Support progressives downticket because that’s the pool for the future top powers.

You don’t abandon “red states” thinking you’re too woke to touch them. While you’re treating those like an unfixable cesspool, there are real people living there whose lives would be improved by progressive downticket candidates winning races. There are multiple ways to enagage and help: donate to a campaign, volunteer to write postcards or phonebank, do word-of-mouth, online and off.

Also, yes please vote!!! Not just at the top. Local politics improve and save lives too.

I’m tired of hearing how allegedly mean it is just to point this stuff out. That it’s somehow ~bullying people to urge them to vote and be engaged instead of giving in to impractical nihilism. (As if the misleading nihilistic dialogues are so great???)

For context, I’m a fandom blog. I don’t talk about politics much on here and I need that kind of space. I volunteer with several grass roots orgs and devote hours every week to educating myself about what tf is going on in the world and the US and I contact my reps with my opinions regularly and do GOTV efforts and support candidates. There is a link between the harmful dialogues I’ve referenced and the demands that “if you don’t reblog this or talk about this you’re morally bankrupt.” It’s toxic and misleading and discourages active engagement. Speaking out is part of the picture but non-stop outrage farming also dilutes the message.

[nerves-nebula]

what do you think would have happened if leo just SUCKED at training and didnt become the favourite?

I’m so glad you asked cause that’s an idea I’ve been toying with. I see it going one of five ways, but here’s an interesting thing to consider: leo wasn’t actually that much better at first.

Splinter picked him when they were basically babies, because of what he perceived as signs of leo being better than the others. Leo is mostly better because he was raised to be. Splinter taught him the most, gave him the most attention, and expected more of him than he did the others. Sure, Leo liked training more than the others but that was majorly influenced by Splinter not being a complete ass to him.

so anyway, options 1-3 are just Splinter picking a different kid to favor. They’ve each got their talents, so maybe Splinter would pick Raph for brute strength, or Mikey for creativity in a fight, or Donnie for his tactical intelligence/creations. No matter what though, he’d carefully curate out the parts of them he doesn’t like as much. (Which he’s also done to Leo, hence why Leo sucks a lot)

If Donnie were picked, he'd be shamed into masking more thoroughly and would be encouraged to not be empathetic towards others. he'd end up being haughty & condescending & insufferable.

If Raph were picked, he'd be shamed out of showing his more gentle & caring side, and would be seen by most as mainly just a force of pure violence (and probably a lot of toxic masculine ideals hah but that could be said for all of them to different degrees). and he'd internalize that, too.

in this iteration he already kind of thinks of himself as like, a machine who's there to take care of his siblings. If Splinter had chosen him, all of that dehumanizing mindset would be shifted to him thinking of himself as a machine for Splinter to use instead.

and if Mikey were picked, he'd be shamed out of kindness and encouraged to be cruel to others for his own amusement. Mikey's constantly seeking stimulation (relatable) and with Splinters encouragement it wouldn't be too difficult for him to begin tormenting others for fun.

Obviously none of this is cut and dry, they'd all have reservations and their own personal feelings (none of them would WANT to be mean on purpose) but a parents influence is strong sooo, it'd be rough.

Option 4 is him picking none of them, which would suck real bad but have the upside of them all relating to each other and staying closer together.

Option 5 is him making them all actively compete for the spot of favorite, and they can gain and lose his favor at any time. This would be the most disastrous and volatile situation, because they would all be in constant brutal competition for his affection, and they would all believe that it was possible to attain his love, even if just for brief amounts of time. It would always be unsettlingly unclear how long you would be his favorite for. (really though, it depends mostly on Splinters mood and what he needs done at the moment. And they all sort of know that, deep down)

this would be the hardest one to break out of, because instead of 1 sibling vs 3 siblings, it's a more complex dynamic in which they've all spent years screwing each other over and hurting each other and themselves to get Splinters attention.

It's hard enough for one kid to come to terms with the fact that his parents are kind of terrible people, but it'd be way harder if all three of them refused to acknowledge it because they all have skin in the game.

[kiarabanetmi]

Chloe’s Arc vs Felix’s Arc

Chloe and Felix share many similarities as characters and yet their stories have completely different outcomes and I want to try and analyze why. I think both of them share similar stories with different outcomes to show how different actions taken by similar people can have drastically different results

On a surface level it may seem like Felix and Chloe aren’t similar, and yes they do have many differences between them that make them different people entirely, but they both have many of the same types of background and suffered similar kinds of abuse and developed negative mindsets about the world because of it

They are both rich children both to influential families that shaped their lives. Each of them had an abusive parent but in different ways: Chloe’s mother abandoned her and her father indulged her bad behavior to avoid being abused himself. Felix’s father abused Felix mentally and emotionally and even Physically since he would use Felix’s miraculous to control what he what physically couldn’t and couldn’t do. We don’t know about how his mother raised him, but I saw an interesting post on Twitter analyzing a moment from the play Felix and Kagami did (it’s linked somewhere on Twitter but I’m having trouble finding it so I can’t give credit where it’s due). The bunny that Felix holds at one point is supposed to represent Felix’s mother (there’s a screenshot somewhere of Amelie wearing a rabbit mask) and the moment where the arm is torn represents that his father abused her as well. This may have caused her to be indulgent of her son to try and make him happy, especially after her husband died, since they were both finally free of his abuse and cruelty

They both have incredible power and financial means as well as a warped view of the world due to their upbringing. Chloe sees everyone as beneath her cause that’s how she feels better about herself and how her mother acted and encouraged Chloe to act when she was actually around. Felix suffered abuse from someone who had power over him, developing a cold and closed off personality, putting others down as well, unwilling to allow himself to open himself up to be used and abused again, causing him to look down on others cause he was trying to protect himself (and his mother).

They also both tried to Sabotage Adrien’s relationship’s at some point too. Chloe tried so she could have Adrien, her “prince,” all to herself and could torture Marinette; Felix did this for unknown reasons but I hypothesize it was a combination of trying to get HawkMoth’s attention by making Adrien’s friends angry enough to be akumatized and out of jealousy that Adrien seemed to have loving friends. Or maybe in his head he also thought he was protecting Adrien from people who were just out to use him rather than actually cared about him, since he never really had any friends of his own and couldn’t believe they were genuine (but that’s my own headcannon, there’s no proof of it).

Adrien also both gave them second chances. In Chloe’s case, it started in Season 2 in Despair Bear. Then later in Derision after he learned the Hell she put Marinette through the years before in school (we’ll come back to that one in a bit). In Felix’s debut episode, Adrien did confront him on what he did, and forgave Felix when he apologized, but only after he made it clear that what Felix did was NOT OK and would not forgive him if he did it again.

Here’s where their story lines start to divulge: what they do after Adrien calls each of them out. They both take different routes. Chloe still bullied Marinette’s and the others and tries to keep Adrien to herself (which really only actively starts up again after the Season 3 finale). In the season 4 episode Gabriel Agreste, she plans to reveal to Gabriel the classes attempts to help Adrien escape his home (and by extension reveal Marinette’s feelings) so he’ll take Adrien of school and make sure only she can visit him. In that very same episode Felix comes back.

Now, on the surface, it seems like Felix hasn’t changed. He’s cold and closed off, gives Gabriel a fake ring back, makes fun of Chloe and avoids interacting with everyone else, including Kagami. But here’s the thing no one notices: he’s not actively trying to sabotage Adrien’s relationships this episode. When he and Kagami are alone in the room, he doesn’t say anything to try and manipulate her, not try to make Adrien look bad. Granted, he probably had more important things on his mind, investigating Gabriel, but it’s still a small improvement. Then there’s the BIG moment in the episode where Gabriel tries to trick Felix and akumatize him: Felix flat out REJECTS it.

This is significant for two reasons: at this point in the timeline, this is only the third time we’ve seen a character actually reject an akumatization based on will alone. The first, funnily enough, was Chloe back in season 3, Miraculer. She refused to be Akumatized and manipulated to try and be better per Ladybug’s advice. The second person to do it was Alya in Gang of Secrets earlier in season 4. Felix (at this point) is only the third character to do this. That’s huge

The second reason is he outright refused to be akumatized at all, rejecting any power offer. In his debut episode, it seemed like he wanted to work with HawkMoth, but here he’s not. Outright refused powers from someone who can literally give them. (Side note, Gabriel is also threatening Felix’s life here by threatening to make him disappear, since he had the peacock miraculous repaired now, and I have a theory as to why it broke in the first place). In the previous episode Queen Banana, Chloe even had a conversation with HawkMoth and readily accepted; showing she was no longer just being manipulated when the butterfly came into contact with her. She could have rejected it (and later did in Penalteam), but still accepted the power. Felix didn’t at all. So we start to think, maybe Felix isn’t that bad? Maybe he’s better than Chloe right?

Then he went and betrayed Ladybug and gave Gabriel all the miraculous in exchange for the Peacock. He didn’t care about the people he hurt or betrayed or doomed in pursuit of his own goals, getting his hand on the Peacock miraculous. Chloe, in similar fashion, wanted the Bee Miraculous back, and allied with HawkMoth when he offered it to her in the season 3 finale. And even in his small scene in season 5 episode 2, when he shows up and his mom is shown to have lies to Ladybug and Cat Noir to protect (or enable) her son, our suspicions about his motives and allegiances are confirmed true.

So far, his story is like Chloe’s: a rich, spoiled kid with an abusive parent (father) and the other parent as an enabler, looking down on everyone not at his level, acting cruel for the sake of it,, working with Hawkmoth to get their hands on a miraculous, and not regretting any of his bad choices and acting in his own self interest without caring about how it impacts others around him.

Let’s head back to Chloe for a second since we’ve focused on Felix and there’s a gap between his appearances in season 5. In the episode Derision, Adrien finally learns the true extent of the torture she put a Marinette through. He may not have heard about the smaller stuff from Kim, like leaving bugs in her locker and paint on her seats, but he learned of the horrendous “prank” she and Kim pulled on Marinette and immediately was furious. I mean, he tried to Cataclysm Kim’s face a few minutes later (I don’t blame him).

Adrien finally learned the true extent of Chloe’s cruelty and evil. So he decides to give her one last chance. He tells her to apologize cause he believes she can change. And she’s shown she’s capable of it. But this time, instead of trying to plead his forgiveness, she just laughs in his face now. She refuses to try being good anymore and outright tells Adrien, her “Prince”, the boy she always called her friend and seemed to care for one some real level, wrong and tries to convince him that she is better. She’s completely given up on any semblance of trying to good, or even just acting like she’s doing it to lease Adrien anymore. She’s done. She’s revealed her true colors to him. And Adrien is done with her. She’s not even sad about it anymore, just angry and annoyed that he betrayed her.

We see here that even though it seemed like she did care about Adrien enough to try and change or be better, she no longer does. Maybe she never did. She still sees him as some sort of prop or tool or prize that she deserves. Now let’s head back to Felix and the episode Emotion and how it displays both Felix’s growth and Chloe’s regression

***note, I have a full post on Felix and his actions in the episode Emption as well if you want to read it

Emotion happens and we see the true differences between the characters, and we learn more about Felix here too. Until now it seems like Felix has his own sinister reasons for allying with HawkMoth and is nothing but a male version of Chloe. But we see the differences here now. He tries to talk to Kagami (posing as Adrien) and doesn’t try to ruin their relationship, in fact apologizing when Kagami tells him that since they’re no longer dating the hand kiss was too far (learning about consent is good young man, but you still have to apologize to Ldybug!). He even tries to bond with her. Meanwhile Chloe had unwittingly “befriended” Marinette at the party and insists on showing her around, bragging about servants and robots and money and the like. Then the King and Queen are supposed to dance.

When Marinette reveals herself to them, you can see the differences in their characters in the ways they react. Marinette gives “Adrien” a heartfelt speech, saying she loves him, how she understands why he didn’t tell her about the dance and isn’t mad or betrayed, how she understands his father is forcing hot to do this and doesn’t blame him, and that she trusts him and loves him no matter what. Chloe is obsessed with the fact the baker girl broke into the dance, wanting her kicked out immediately. Felix by contrast is shocked, and then smiles and dances with her. He’s still acting as Adrien so it could be a cover, but I think he was genuinely loved by her words. Until now he’s never interacted with someone who honest, even if it would get them in trouble or hurt them. When Marinette starts getting self conscious and saying they think she’s a monster, he gets angry and says that they are the monsters.

Then Chloe gets so mad that she outright attacks Marinette and Felix then reveals himself. He starts snapping everyone away, but doesn’t do so with Marinette. He takes her away and hides her rather than just snapping her away for later. He doesn’t want to hurt someone who genuinely cares for his cousin. Then after he snaps the rest of the world away except for himself and Kagami (and be believed Marinette) he brings Adrien back and is overjoyed! He is happy cause he thinks he freed them and wants to have them all live together and be free and happy, (like he never was with his father)

Now we see there’s more to him that a cruel Chloe copy: he wants to help those he cares but is INCREDIBLY misguided, he thinks the only way he can think to help is to take the extreme and completely cut off anyone else who they don’t know or could possibly hurt them in the future, that there’s no one else good in the world except for Adrien and his mother (then later Kagami and Marinette). And we also see him regret his actions when he hurt the people he cared about. When he couldn’t bring back Marinette, he panicked and brought back everyone cause he didn’t want to hurt Adrien.

This is another Major difference between Chloe and Felix. Felix’s actions are also undoubtedly selfish and cruel (snapping away the entire world? Damn), but beneath that there’s a twisted and warped sense of protection and care behind it. He did it to save his loved ones. He was incredibly wrong in his approach and actions, but he seemed to genuinely want to help. And when Adrien called him out on it and how he was out of control and actually hurting people and him with his powers, Felix immediately stopped. He could have ignored it and snapped him and Kagami away, living alone in his free world, but he didn’t. By contrast, in the episode Revolution, Chloe gets similar powers to send people away, and when Adrien calls her on it she just sends him away too, without a second thought. Lila didn’t even need to say anything to convince Chloe to do it, that’s how little she cares about Adrien.

And their differences don’t stop at Emotion and how they use similar powers. They continue for the rest of their individual appearances in Season 5.

After the Diamond Dance and Felix snaps away Red Moon, he could have stopped there. After this failure and hearing his mother agree with his sentiments about how cruel everyone else in the world is (his mother being someone he loves and looks up, who is now validating his original beliefs), he could have just stopped right there. Instead, after that, he took an interest in Kagami, and also still tried to look out for/after Adrien. Remember, in the Season 3 finale, ladybug also tried to reach out to Chloe again after she made that mistake, and Chloe outright refused to apologize and turned against Ladybug fully. Felix ended up listening to Ladybug in the end, when she told him winning isn’t always what you want, or something like that. He did end up taking her advice.

Then when he saw Kagami being abused emotionally and verbally by her mother (one step forward, one step back; STALKING IS NOT OK YOUNG MAN), he noted how horrible it was and immediately acted to stop it. He kidnapped her and took her away (bad reaction, make that two steps back), but here he’s genuinely trying to do good. He’s actively trying to change. Kagami even calls him out on his stalking and kidnapping, and he apologizes and explains he didn’t know what else to do cause he knows what it’s like to be abused. Chloe would’ve just laughed at Kagami’s plight: Adrien’s “perfect” friend and ex girlfriend isn’t so perfect and her mother thinks she’s ridiculous too? She would find that utterly amazing and laughable.

Throughout the rest of the episode, Felix’s only plan is to protect Kagami, and even Ladybug and Chat Noir realize this when Kagami tells them so. He doesn’t try to fight them anymore and leaves.

Then through Lila’s manipulations and schemes, Chloe becomes mayor of Paris, and again ally’s with Monarch to gain powers for herself. She’s back to her old tricks, and this time is completely unrestrained by her former attachments to Adrien. One last time, she could have turned him down, but in the end she didn’t. This final choice is the metaphorical nail in Chloe’s coffin.

**I have another link where I try to analyze Chloe’s fall from grace and the reason her story ended the way it did

That’s a fundamental difference between these two characters which such similar backgrounds: it’s how they react to what they did and react to their mistakes and other people calling them out on their actions

Chloe never truly cared that she hurt Adrien despite him being “precious” to her, she never truly accepted responsibility except for that one time with Maledictator, and in the end didn’t see how her mother treated her as wrong. And when being good wasn’t as easy or rewarding as she wanted it to be, she stopped trying.

She found that being cruel and mean was easier for her and more immediately rewarding, so she took the easy way. It’s not that difficult to expect, especially the way she was raised: with a snobby, absentee mother, a weak willed father, and all the power of the city at her beck and call. It takes a lot of strength, will, and determination to try and break that cycle, especially as a kid. We see she’s capable but it’s hard for her to stay the course of good. All we can hope for is one day she’ll see the error of her ways AND get the help she desperately needs to get her out of abusive home and able to learn healthier and kinder ways to live

By contrast, Felix did realize the error of his ways and actively began to try changing, even though it was really hard. No one trusted him, especially not ladybug or Kagami or Adrien, but he still wanted to try. And he did. When confronted by Ladybug and Car Noir again, he didn’t try to fight them, only intending to protect Kagami. When Kagami told him off and what he was doing wrong he apologized and explained himself and what he was trying to do. He also worked to give her freedom again. Being good is not easy for him either, especially with how often he was hurt and abused when he was young, but he’s trying to be better here, and sees that even though it’s hard work, he’s willing to do it. Hopefully he stays on this path.

[scribblepace]

Unveiling the Self-Help Phenomenon: Do Self-Help Books Really Help?

By Shruti

Self-help books have long been a popular genre, promising transformation, success, and happiness. But do they genuinely deliver on these promises? In this article, we’ll explore the world of self-help literature from multiple angles to uncover whether these books truly make a difference in readers' lives.

Imagine walking into a bookstore and seeing an entire section dedicated to self-help, with titles promising to change your life. The allure is undeniable. Self-help books have become a $10 billion industry in the U.S. alone, with millions of people seeking guidance, motivation, and answers to life’s challenges within their pages. But do these books really help, or are they simply feel-good reads that offer temporary solace?

The roots of self-help literature can be traced back to ancient texts like "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and "The Art of Living" by Epictetus. However, the modern self-help movement began in earnest with books like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie in 1936. This was followed by Napoleon Hill’s "Think and Grow Rich" in 1937, which became a cornerstone for the genre. The explosion of self-help literature in the late 20th and early 21st centuries brought us landmark titles like "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey and "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. These books have shaped the genre, emphasizing personal development and success.

To understand the effectiveness of self-help books, we need to delve into psychological theories and studies. Research in psychology supports some of the techniques advocated in these books. For instance, the Placebo effect suggests that if people believe a book will help them, it might actually do so. Cognitive restructuring, a key component of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), aligns with the positive thinking and mindset shifts often promoted in self-help literature. Studies have shown that setting specific, challenging goals, a common theme in self-help books, can enhance performance and motivation.

Self-help books often revolve around recurring themes such as positive thinking, goal setting, mindfulness, and resilience. Positive thinking, popularized by Norman Vincent Peale’s "The Power of Positive Thinking," encourages readers to focus on optimistic outcomes. Goal setting is another common theme, with many books advocating for SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals. Mindfulness and meditation, emphasized in books like "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, are scientifically backed practices that can reduce stress and improve well-being. While these techniques have merit, their practicality can vary depending on individual circumstances and the complexity of life’s challenges.

And then Boom! 💥

A Success story lands right on your plate!

Self-help books are filled with success stories of individuals who claim their lives were transformed. For example, many readers of "Atomic Habits" by James Clear report significant improvements in their productivity and personal habits. These anecdotes can be inspiring and motivating. However, skeptics argue that self-help books often provide overly simplistic solutions to complex problems. Critics point out that the advice given can be generic and lack empirical support. They caution against the potential for self-help books to offer false hope, particularly to those with serious mental health issues.

The effectiveness of self-help books largely depends on the reader’s mindset and willingness to implement the advice. Readers who approach these books with an open mind, critical thinking, and a commitment to action are more likely to benefit. It is essential to discern which advice is practical and applicable to one’s personal situation. Moreover, readers should be aware of the limitations of self-help literature and recognize when it is necessary to seek professional help.

Self-Help vs. Professional Help

While self-help books can provide valuable insights and tools for personal growth, they are not a substitute for professional therapy or coaching. Self-help literature may suffice for those seeking general guidance or motivation. However, individuals dealing with severe mental health issues, trauma, or complex life challenges should consider professional intervention. Therapists and coaches offer personalized support and strategies that a one-size-fits-all book cannot provide.

Self-help books reflect and influence cultural attitudes towards self-improvement and individualism. In societies that value personal achievement and self-reliance, the popularity of self-help literature is particularly pronounced. Media and celebrity endorsements further boost the visibility and credibility of these books. For instance, Oprah Winfrey’s endorsement of "The Secret" significantly increased its sales and cultural impact. Self-help books can promote a culture of continuous self-improvement, but they can also contribute to unrealistic expectations and the pressure to succeed.

The commercial side of the self-help industry reveals best-seller trends, marketing strategies, and the role of publishers in shaping content. Publishers often prioritize books with broad appeal and marketability, sometimes at the expense of depth and originality. Authors who tap into current trends or offer a unique perspective can achieve significant commercial success. However, the line between genuine help and profit-driven content can be thin, leading to exploitation and disappointment for readers seeking authentic guidance.

Will deke dekho yaar! Self-help books can offer valuable insights and motivation, but their effectiveness depends on various factors, including the reader’s mindset and the quality of the advice. While some books provide practical, science-backed techniques, others may offer oversimplified solutions. Readers should approach self-help literature with a critical mind and be willing to seek professional help when necessary. Ultimately, the journey of self-improvement is deeply personal, and finding the right path requires a balance of self-help resources and professional support.

---

By examining self-help books from historical, scientific, and cultural perspectives, we can better understand their potential benefits and limitations. Whether you’re a self-help enthusiast or a skeptic, exploring this genre with an open but discerning mind can help you uncover valuable tools for personal growth and transformation. Happy reading lovelies!

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

I have to Very Strongly Disagree with the idea that abusers are likely victims or that healthy people will leave situations before they happen, sorry. That’s just. Wrong. It’s still pathologicising abuse as inherently resulting from something Wrong in the brain of both abuser and victim and encourages people to deny their own abuse be they victim or perpetrator bc they know that’s not true for them and the other person in the relationship. It’s also really fucking demeaning to survivors like. That's just Not how abuse works and you’re spreading a different harmful idea- you’ve discarded the idea of abusers being one dimensional evil villains and the only way to be Good is to tolerate abuse, yes, but you’re still pathologising it and treating it like it’s separate to normality. But it isn't.

Abuse is beyond normalised in society. The mindsets that lead to abuse are beyond normalised in society. Because while abusers don’t usually Consciously have a secret manipulation plan abuse does typically stem from certain mindsets- namely being Owed someone, or Owed something from someone. People don’t typically engage in physical and mental violence with people they love for fun (and a lot of abusers genuinely do love their victims though this is obviously unhealthy and doesn’t make it any less awful) they feel like their actions are a reasonable reaction to being denied something they see as Theirs. And society encourages this! Women are seen as Trophies for men. Children are seen as Property for their parents. Romantic relationships are described in terms of Belonging To Each Other. And those are just a few examples! Society tells us mindsets that lead to abuse are not only good and healthy, but the only good and healthy option, and that means well meaning, normal, healthy people are abused and abuse others all the fucking time. Which is why shifting from a good vs evil narrative to a mental health one doesn’t actually get us any closer to having a healthier cultural attitude on abuse because we're not acknowledging what we consider normal and healthy is already abuse. People arent clueless for no reason- they’re clueless bc They Are Told From Birth Possessive Behaviour And Obsession Are Good In Certain Circumstances, and that mindset makes it incredibly easy to become abusive without realising.

Definitely seems like "abusers are ontologically evil and irredeemable; also the only way to be 100% sure you aren't abusing anybody is to make yourself massively vulnerable to abuse yourself [e.g. by deferring to whatever someone with the right identity categories says, without questioning it]" is the ambient cultural message right now. Bad!

[avonsdrabbles]

I know you're a teacher, idk if you ever went to school yourself or if you were homeschooled but if you did go to school, have there been any major differences between when you were in 6th grade vs now as a teacher? I'm leaving this vague on purpose but I guess I mean stuff like, how technology is handled, if curriculums have changed a lot, if there's new knowledge/training on how to manage the kids, etc.

So… this is a bit tough but I’ll try my best!

Under the cut since this is likely going to get long.

So, first off, it’s best to say that I have dissociative identity disorder. Some folks following me know that, some don’t, hurrah. Because of this, I really struggle to remember my childhood, 6th grade included (which, yes, I did go to public school). Here’s what I can recall though, in response to your questions:

It’s a lot different.

For one thing, I am now approaching things from the perspective of an adult. The curriculum I had as a kid, the rules I had to follow, the everything — all of it was from teachers who were underpaid and dealing with a LOT of bullshit. We didn’t make their jobs any easier. In retrospect, a lot feels different now being able to look at it as a teacher.

Tech was handled very differently. Now, the expectation is that students have tech on them at all times, as opposed to someone having a phone being a big deal. Typically, it was handheld games being confiscated; hardly anyone had a phone until around 7th or 8th grade. This was back in the days when having a phone… at all! Was considered cool. There’s also the fact that tech was actually taken straight out of the hands of kids! We can’t do that anymore. If a student is on their phone, we have to request they give it to us — we’re not actually allowed to take it ourselves. There’s also rules upon rules upon rules on how kids have to get their phones back, as opposed to the loosey goosey rules there were back in the day.

Curriculum is where my brain is more shot. I really don’t remember a lot of what I learned in 6th grade. I do know we did just about every assignment on paper, though. Probably the BIGGEST change (and this isn’t universal but more and more schools are doing this now) is the grade minimum cap. We aren’t allowed to give kids zeros anymore!! We have a minimum of 50%. This way, kids are able to come back from a missing assignment - which allows us to give less work and focus on the actual. Yknow. Learning. It’s one of my favorite parts of modern teaching.

There is a LOT of new learning on how to handle kids — to the point that older teachers constantly bitch and moan about it. The 50% cap pissed so many people off lol. But there’s also so much social-emotional learning and growth mindset and all sorts of other things we learn about, as teachers, to help us teach kids. It’s constant! We learn more and more each day.

That isn’t to say everything is better now. Just different. For instance, I know I had a typing class as a kid, and that’s just… not a thing anymore. There’s this assumption that tech is so prevalent that kids just know how to type, but god it’s bad. I actually challenge my kids to beat my typing speed each year to try to encourage them to learn.

I hope that answers your question! I’m sick rn and I’m barely aware lol.

[randomaccessmike]

Unleashing Potential: Understanding the Power of Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset in Education

Photo by Martin Lopez on Pexels.com When it comes to personal growth and learning, the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset is huge. In simplest terms, a growth mindset is when you believe that you can improve your skills with practice and hard work. A fixed mindset is when you think that your abilities are set in stone and can't really be changed. These two ways of thinking shape how you feel about your abilities, how you see challenges, and how you deal with setbacks. For instance, if you have a growth mindset, you might see a challenge as a way to learn and grow, but if you have a fixed mindset, you might see the same challenge as evidence of your limitations. And if you face a setback, someone with a growth mindset might use it as a chance to reflect and improve, while someone with a fixed mindset might see it as proof that they're not good enough. It's important to know about these mindsets and how they affect our lives because they can impact how motivated we are, how we handle obstacles, and how successful we are. If we focus on having a growth mindset and believe that we can get better with practice, we can achieve more and overcome challenges more easily. Exploring The Fixed Mindset A fixed mindset is grounded in the belief that our abilities are innate and unchangeable. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where people with a fixed mindset believe that their talents and skills are predetermined, making them less likely to take risks and try new things. This can stifle personal growth and development, as individuals with a fixed mindset may avoid challenges for fear of failure. Instead of viewing setbacks as learning opportunities, they may perceive them as personal deficiencies. It's important to recognize the limitations of a fixed mindset and how detrimental that mindset can be to your personal success. The Growth Mindset Paradigm Contrarily, a growth mindset propels the idea that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort, learning, and persistence. Carol Dweck first popularized the idea of a growth mindset in her seminal work, Mindset. It's about viewing challenges as opportunities to learn, grow, and improve. Instead of avoiding difficult tasks, individuals with a growth mindset embrace them, understanding that effort is a critical path to mastery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X0mgOOSpLU The Underlying Neuroscience The concept of neuroplasticity, which is the ability of our brains to reorganize and form new connections, supports the growth mindset theory. This has significant implications in various areas of our lives, such as education, personal growth, and professional development. In the context of education, understanding the potential of our brain's neuroplasticity can lead to designing teaching practices that help students develop a growth mindset. Educators can encourage students to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, which can foster learning and innovation. Teachers who adopt a growth mindset can empower their students by providing them with the tools and support they need to take charge of their own learning. By fostering student agency, teachers can help to create a more collaborative and dynamic learning environment, where students are encouraged to take risks and explore new ideas. The growth mindset can also influence personal growth through developing habits and mindsets that facilitate neuroplasticity, such as engaging in novel experiences or practicing mindfulness. Finally, school leaders can create a culture of learning and development by promoting a growth mindset, which can lead to improved performance and innovation. By recognizing that the mindsets of students, teachers, and school leaders can be developed through dedication and hard work, we can tap into our limitless potential and foster personal and professional growth. Comparing Fixed and Growth Mindsets While a fixed mindset can lead to stagnation and a fear-based approach to life, a growth mindset promotes continuous improvement, resilience, and a love for learning. The comparison between these two mindsets can be seen in how they respond to challenges, deal with criticism, and approach success. Examples of Fixed Mindset Students: - Elementary School: A student in third grade named Michael was hesitant to try new activities because he was afraid of making mistakes. His teacher noticed that he often gave up when things got difficult and encouraged him to keep trying. Michael responded, "I'm just not good at this. I don't want to keep doing it." - Middle School: A student in seventh grade named Emily struggled with math. She had always believed that she just wasn't good at it and that she would never understand. Her teacher noticed that Emily often shut down during math class and rarely asked questions. When her teacher tried to encourage her and tell her that she was capable of understanding math, Emily responded, "I'm just not smart enough for this. It's too hard." - High School: A student in eleventh grade named John was interested in playing the guitar but was hesitant to join the school band. He believed that he wasn't musically talented and that he would embarrass himself. When his music teacher suggested that he try out for the band, John responded, "I'm not good enough. I'll just mess up and embarrass myself." Examples of Growth Mindset Students: - Elementary School: A student in second grade named Sarah struggled with reading. Her teacher encouraged her to keep practicing, telling her, "It's okay to make mistakes, that's how we learn!" Sarah began to see reading as a challenge to overcome and eventually became an avid reader. - Middle School: A student in eighth grade named Alex was struggling in math class. His teacher noticed that he was becoming discouraged and decided to work with him one-on-one after class. She encouraged him to view mistakes as opportunities to learn and to keep trying. Alex's hard work and persistence paid off, and he eventually became one of the top students in the class. - High School: A student in twelfth grade named Maria was nervous about taking the SATs. Her guidance counselor reminded her that the test was just one step in her college application process and that many resources were available to help her prepare. Maria embraced the challenge, seeking out study materials and practice tests. Maria scored higher than she had expected and was accepted into her top-choice university. Harnessing the Power of a Growth Mindset Adopting a growth mindset is a valuable approach that can significantly improve student outcomes and teacher practice. It encourages students to embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, which is a vital aspect of developing problem-solving skills and promoting a healthy approach to failure. In addition to this, adopting a growth mindset also provides a framework for teachers to promote student agency and authentic learning experiences, which can help to create a more dynamic and engaging learning environment. It is important to recognize that a growth mindset is not just about intelligence or natural talent. Instead, it is about understanding that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. By adopting this approach, students and teachers alike can tap into their limitless potential and set the foundation for continuous personal and professional development. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_9PzH56Yr0 Building Growth Mindset in the Classroom: Concrete Practices to Support Student Persistence One of the key benefits of adopting a growth mindset is that it can promote a more positive attitude toward learning. When students are encouraged to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, they are more likely to take an active role in their own learning. This can lead to increased motivation, engagement, and a greater sense of ownership over the learning process. Similarly, teachers who adopt a growth mindset can help to empower their students by providing them with the tools and support they need to take charge of their own learning. By fostering student agency, teachers can help to create a more collaborative and dynamic learning environment, where students are encouraged to take risks and explore new ideas. Shifting from a Fixed to Growth Mindset Adopting a growth mindset is not a destination, but a journey. It involves recognizing and challenging our fixed mindset beliefs, embracing challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and understanding that effort is the path to mastery. This shift fuels our potential, ignites our creativity, and empowers us to achieve our goals. In conclusion, understanding and implementing the growth mindset in our lives can empower us to become better learners, innovative thinkers, and proactive individuals. By recognizing that our abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work, we can truly tap into our limitless potential and foster personal and professional growth Read the full article

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

honestly that’s why i’m not super in the fandom. i’m just in the background writing my dysfunctional izzy/ed fic and trying not to be weird abt izzy but tbh idek what ppl discourse abt. the only think that appeals to me abt him is the ed stuff. like why does ed want him to stay. why does he want ed to be blackbeard. it compels me. but some fanon interpretations of izzy i’ve run into have been. odd

I went off here but drop the fic if you want I'll probably read it.

Oh baby I wish I was you. I jumped on the fandom really early on because I needed something to do to take my mind off of a recent breakup and other things that were also happening which I'm less inclined to talk about and now I'm in the fucking trenches. I'm pretty immune to a character like Izzy Hands because I personally have never been able to hide who I am and I've always been violently myself. Mad respect to the autistics who have mastered the art of masking but I could personally never figure it out. I never really spent time in the closet I just realized what I was and announced it to the world. So a character who the vibe on him is "repressed gay man who hates himself" is a character I'm sympathetic too but is not relatable to me, and a character who is constantly obsessed with projecting his idealized version of other people onto them and getting violent when they don't fit into the box he's made for them is a character I loose patience for immediately. I'm navigating a minefield of guys who want me to fit into their neat little box and get mad when I don't in my real life. It's very easy for me to be normal about him for this reason.

If I can get a little off of your og question and into the weeds for a minute (I can you are in my inbox now <3) One of the best things about this show for me personally is the morality of it. Like this show sets up a world where we're supposed to forget everything we think about right and wrong and accept a new metric for us, growth and authenticity vs stagnation and repression. It's a moral framework that really appeals to me as a trans person a gay man and a neurodivergant person who has been beaten down for who I am my entire life, and also as someone who has never really figured out hiding for my own safety no matter how much I probably need to. I really like stories that tell me "I know it's hard for you to go against the grain but actually you're doing amazing sweetheart. being yourself is based as fuck" and there are a lot of stories that pretend to have that message but none of them really feel inclusive to me except for this one. And Izzy is terrific as a main villain because he basically embodies the wrong side of OFMD's moral dynamic. He mirrors Stede in a lot of ways, but Stede is constantly learning and growing and encouraging others around him to grow and be themselves, where as Izzy stagnates and tries to drag Ed down with him. And he's got more layers than a Calico Jack or a Badminton so, as much as I, a known Calico Jack enjoyer, hate to admit it, he is the best villain in the series.

So when people look at him and say "Actually that guy is right" it just sort of takes the wind out of me almost. Because while Our Flag says "the greatest good their is is being authentic to yourself" Izzy says "Oh, you think your cute" and "Pirates my ass" and "I should have let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you've become, is a fate worse than death." Like you're not supposed to sympathize with that mindset, even if its coming out of the mouth of a character in the fundamentally relatable position of being gay and having a big fat crush on Ed.

So yeah the fanon interpretations have been really fucking odd. (there are also the other, bigotry related aspects, which have been talked to death by me and others.) I do think a lot of it is a failure of media analysis. And because I have to explain this character so thoroughly he has become less fun to play with as a toy. I'd much rather play with Calico Jack, a character who all of my disagreements with the majority of the fandom on are pedantic or conjecture, and none are related to racism or sexism or homophobia or anything like that. Which is tragic because Ed and Izzy's weird co worker codependancy is fucking juicy, dude. Why are they like that? I hope we get some of it in season 2.

I also kind of hope that Izzy is newer. Like Taika offhandedly threw out the idea that Ed has been a pirate for 20 years in an interview and I've seen people be like "Izzy has been pining for Ed for 20 years of working under him" as if it's a fact and I think it would be very funny if it was like "Nah actually they lesbian u haul moved in together 2 years ago and they've been like this ever since. " I don't know tho there's so many possibilities.

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

[terubakudan]

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

[everythingthemoontouches]

Hiii Jahn!🌙 I’m just a new follower. I discovered you while searching for D9 asks. I was amazed by your in-depth explanation on each placements. 🤍 I’d like to send in my D1 & D9 charts also for future spouse reading to understand more about it.Thank you so much!!🤍 Please take your time. I’ll patiently wait. 💕 Hoping you’ll have a lovely day/night! 🌹

Hello there

This, my love has been a longtime coming. First off I'm gonna introduce you to an intuitive read and then present it in a more formal, bulleted manner. You seem to ha e chosen quite a challenging path in this lifetime. Props to you for bravery. And a hug + some tea to help you brave it 💕 your life could be a beautiful movie on love, healing, growth, spirituality and personal power.

Future BAE seems to be stable, practical reliable with service being his love language. He is down to grow together, and help you walk in your power.

Taurus rising.

Scorpio 7th house. + Pluto + moon.

Wow. Lots of shadow work involved when it comes to close personal relationships. You need to turn that critical eye inwards.

Untill you work at managing or integrating your inner child issues, any partners you end up with will continue to trigger you. At its best, this is someone who helps you work through your feelings. Breakdown. Confront reality. Breakdown and rebuild yourself stringer than ever. A hades and persephone kind of love. Lots of sexual allure. Strength, protectiveness, passion, push and pull, makeup sex? Specially since the ruler of the 7th house (Mars) is in the 5th house. You're not the kinda person who'd be happy to marry just for stability. Passion and mutual attraction, love is a must.

Mars and rahu. Service. Over exerting for those you love. Days spent in bed. Service kink. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets.

You're definitely attracted to people who help you better your place in the world. They have to have a little bit of ' I wanna do good / change the world in them'. A friendly leader kinda figure. Disciplined.

Your darakarka Mars is retrograde. Controlling. Dominant. Future BAE is definitely gonna overthink themselves into a worry when it comes to dating and wooing. Or they could think that only their way is the right / best way to do soemthing. Poor lil baby( I say baby, but as a Virgo Mars they're probably the person who takes charge, plans, overanalyzes things has a set way of doing things.) this could be someone who is an advocate for universal free education, teaches children for free or some such. Could second guess themselves when it comes to taking action.

Mars Rahu conjunction: sub kink. They'd want a lot of adulation. Could be from a different culture from you or have studied in a very different environment.

I think your fs gets better at dealing with overthinking after you guys tie the knot. They learn to be more at peace with themself, letting their intuition guide them instead of focusing too hard on trying to do the logical thing. Okay with being messy. May like to act and arrange things behind the scenes. Imagine coming home tired to find that they've already called the restaurant, arranged for your favorite food to be dropped off, warmed, alid out on the table. Gives me the vibes of a puppeteer(katputli - a rajasthani folk dance)pulling the strings. You can't see them, but the show goes on.

From being ficusssed on accumulating wealth your focus goes towards doing things that boost your sense of Self confidence. You could also grow more tactful as you learnt to seek out harmony. You probably become more direct and assertive as a result the peopep you attract are more easy going / Libra like.

I'm seeing a house for a wedding present? Or moving into your spouse's ancestral home. They could also come from a matrilineal lineage.

Your household could be supported by one or both of you working in tax, insurance, financial industries. There could also be soemthing related to life insurance.

Pluto and Saturn in the 7th is a tad concerning. There's a very heavy sense of some kind of karmic duty. Saturn is exalted in Libra.

Way too controlling. Narcissism. Moon Mars mother. Karmic ties. Moon 8th house.

U must learn to stand up for yourself.

If you're meant to have any babies in this lifetime, they'd probably visit you in a dream or a psychic trance before they come down to earth. Call it mothers intuition. This is just a gut feeling wrt your moon in 8th house in Scorpio in the D9. I say this because the moon rules the 4th house of home, and children are an important part of the house if you're a mom. The 4th house is also the home/ heartland what you'd protect.

You suppress your emotions. Emerges as a volcano. But a cold one. U turn to ice and grow aloof.

Out of body experiences

You need to learn to be more dominant and combative. I'd suggest watching the teal Swans video on creating a zero sum game in relationships. Strengthened by Aries ascendant in d 9. This life u gotta learn to fight for yourself, and not sit quietly because people attacked u or kept u under their thumb when u were younger by a strict dad.

OK, now let's look at the placements and aspects

D1 lagna (ascendant) VS D9 lagna

You go from comfort stability minded to taking more risks and initiative. Self Confidence increases. Assert your needs better.

Vargottama Moon

The moon is quite dominant as it does not change signs between d1 and D9. You're super cooperative and hate to disappoint people. I'd suggest reading up more on Anuradha Nakshatra.

Moon - Pluto - 7th house

Could indicate karmic ties or past life connections to FS. You work through a lot of your own inner insecurities, self doubt, lack mindset related issues in close romantic relationships. There could be some mother wound related issues. You can only love as deeply as you allow yourself to love yourself. In order to attract people who inspire positive growth in you, you must first sit with your shadow, examine why people trigger you, and make peace with yourself or, perhaps your mom?

Mars Rahu - sextile moon

Mars and Rahu are both impulsive action oriented Planets. Them sextile your Pluto and moon could lead you to feel quite triggered and attacked by the slightest hint of advice or suggestion from someone else. Sex with the wrong people can really mess with you. In a better manifestation good sex has you feeling liek you can change the world and also that you're super safe and secure.

Venus combust - 10th house

You need to feel appreciated for your uniqueness. Ego battles could arise and get in the way of finding, expressing love.

Saturn- Ketu Pisces

The ruler of your 7th Nakshatra this is someone who loses themself to community service, could do too much for the wrong cause. Money could come in from fish farming. Seduments or other aquatic culture.

Anuradha 7th house

This is a Nakshatra that focuses on achieving success by working with a group. Your fs is collaborative and good at managing people. Someone who shares success. And is hence likely to go far ahead in life. Major success may come later in life.

Mars 7th house

Expect healthy amount of frank, direct communication. Some arguments with FS. But there's also protectiveness, concern, and the will to do the best by someone. Mars and moon aspects indicate a healthy sex life. They're probably enamored by you. You in turn would find them super sexy.

7th Nakshatra lord and Ketu

Your fs and relation with FS is a highly spiritual one. You could both be looking for a soulful connection. There is love, there us duty there is a need to help each other value time, focus on the future. They could have been a strict disciplinarian figure Ina past life. You both probably have a knack to look down at your phone just in time tos ee an email / message alert from them? Perhaps you two run or help/volunteer at an institution for the mentally challenged.

7th house relation to pieces

OK, so this is where we have a lot going on. Mars opposes saturn. And is placed with Rahu. Mars here feels restrained. Your fs could feel blocked in their creative gifts. In the sense that all they want to do is focus on it, create, post, gain fame but saturn and Ketu try to restrict their creative time. They could be perfectionists. Having to redo things. Since Rahu is also in virgo there's a focus on creating things with the hands and fine tuning every single detail. Directed towards you, this is someone who is always encouraging you while trying to micromanage a lot of details because they think they're being helpful. This is sosmrhtinf you two could have in common so

Mars Darakarka: they teach u to fight for you. Opinionated. Honest. Perfectionist. Service before self. Hardworking. Have integrity. Very active mind.

Mars conjunct Rahu-venus D9 creativity

The 5th house rules creativity and with your venus in the 9th house in D9 your fs is someone who encourages u to be more creative and follow or take up a course to be better at your hobbies. It's like full creative freedom to be you and do you.

D9 Exalted Saturn

Justice. Duty. Not very affectionate but they make sure you have everything you need. Balanced approach. Someone thoughtful. They're fair in a fight.

Libra, venus ruled 7th house

Beauty, peace and harmony in thr relationship. You're not gonna feel like you're being taken for grated. They will treat you to nice things and probably have a schedule for dates and other such romantic leisure activities.

Jupiter rules 9th, in 2nd house

Philosophy. Art. Culture. Museums. Travel coudk be a key focus in your married life. This is something you two bond over. Could also strike God fortune when u do travel or go on pilgrimages. Luck and money via foreign sources.

Rahu in aquarius

Social media influence or you get better at making friends just make sure that they're not provoking you into taking uncalcukated risks or actions that are wya too bizarre. Could denote some kind of breakthrough with technology, a love for a high end gadget driven spaces. An interest in Photography. Any couples pictures posts would be well received. Like you're the couple that looks exotic in their photos. Radiant. Aloof, intellectual, stimulating and even more appealing together.

Jupiter Taurus in 2nd house of D9

Debilitated Jupiter 9th house- religious issues - venus 9th house - conversion?

You may have struggled with religious ideologies being forced on you, or the one you were born into didn't quite feel right. Your fs may follow a different religion or show you that being religious does not mean you feel bad about some of your lifestyle choices.

Pisces Mars d9: he is either tactful and charming or a bit manipulative. You may feel like you prefer to act behind the scenes. It may be a little hard to be recognized for the things you do untill you get really really angry.

D9 Cancer 4th house: the home is a serious source of pride. Beautiful interiors and you'd be quite guarded about who you invite over. The best meals. Soothing interiors.

Pilgrimage within the 1st year of becoming a mom ( Jupiter's aspect on the 9th house)

Venus in Sagittarius D9: future BAE is gonna love his freedom. He could be a workaholic.

Alrighty, that's all I've got today. I hope this helps. I wish you the best on your healing and integration journey

[constellaj]

I will pay you up front if you can rewrite the Urban Jungle episode. Please, I am begging you

I love undergrowth and his character but the episode was just, awful

*Alright* I am going to approach this as if it is part of the original series; I won’t be making it stupid gay, changing the overall tone or messaging of the story, making it any rating past pg-13, etc etc

with that in mind: urban jungle feels like the episode where danny and sam should have started dating (going with sam x danny to fit with the ‘original series but good’ angle). the line “i always thought you ruled” is fucking banger so what we’re going to do is extend that out into the actual theme of the ep: sam and self-esteem

sam has friction between tuck already (vegetarian vs meat eater) and in the beginning of the ep we also are gonna bump up the friction between her and danny, with how she thinks his powers should be used for good and how he just wants a break etc etc. sam gets really caught up in activism and her friends kind of snap at her for it due to burnout, so they break up what was going to be a group movie night and sam goes back to her house alone while danny and tuck go to danny’s place.

i don’t want undergrowth to magically appear, and I don’t even need it to be anything to do with urbanization necessarily; instead let’s take a popular fan theory of summoning and combine it with the premise of the episode ‘what you want,’ where tucker gets ghost powers. let’s say that sam, while digging into the occult, is like ‘if i had ghost powers/plant powers/could drive out oil industries i would in a heartbeat’ and learns about a ghost she can summon (undergrowth). danny and tuck are busy playing doomed while she does this. undergrowth takes one look at her and is like “ohoho, i can tell you love plants just so much.” he will be manipulating her and preying on her rage and feelings of inadequacy for the majority of this episode

cool, undergrowth is here now. let’s keep the enslaving-people-into-plant-zombies thing, but instead of instantaneous let’s make it a little scarier, with creeping roots sinking into the water source and slowly moving through amity, bit by bit. danny is unaffected cause he’s a ghost, and he and tucker manage to realize something’s up with the fentons before tucker gets zombified too. they’ll run to check if sam is okay, and on first glance they’ll think she’s been zombied, but of course she isn’t in the same way everyone else is. she’s a host body for undergrowth, and she’s actually actively repressing his possession (shes had a lot of practice, working alongside danny), and she’s super bitter about literally everything they’re doing and kicks them out.

it has to be shown earlier in the episode that sam feels like a lot of what she does is performative/etc and that danny and tuck are in the wrong with treating her sorta like garbage.

i’m cutting the ice powers cause that’s dumb. instead we’ll have danny and tuck working together to try and find a solution, and learning (probably through old fenton records or tucker being smart) that liquid nitrogen can get rid of undergrowth until summoned again, so they have to go all the way back to the lab at casper high and hook up some machine or other to clear the town. (retroactively, let’s make one of the earlier arguments between them and sam take place during a lab, and throw in a sidebar about liquid nitrogen; lancer saying that it should be here, dash and kwan fucking around with it, danny just touching it cause hes ghost, etc, something like that) 

as they progress undergrowth/sam starts putting spores out, meaning tucker’s also getting infected, all while theyre fighting back these different plant people all in the town. plant people still retain some of their original personality and stuff as a joke though. insert joke about plant-paulina zombie-lumbering towards Phantom, creakily going “how about a kisss” and danny just, morphs back into Fenton, and she goes “ew. gross” and leaves. that kind of thing. it’s a lot of strategy and we get to see other characters interacting in a pseudo-dreamworld with danny and tucker, and a lot should focus on self-esteem or making them feel bad to drive the point home

also what needs to be shown earlier is sam’s crush on danny.

during the progression danny has to be getting really worked up about this and eventually let slip ‘and can you believe i was going to ask her to [x event, movie, dance, etc]’ and tucker like, balks. tucker says ‘she has had a crush on you for like two years man’ and danny is like “WHAT” and now, encouragement to get things done faster. course then dramatically tucker gets turned into a plant. here we learn that the plant people are mouthpieces of sam’s self esteem issues right cause tucker just goes “well why would you like her. she’s a sweaty goth girl. she’s too loud. she’s so bossy” which are all things that sam would have said about herself/danny would have said about sam earlier when they were fighting

so danny rushes to the school and grabs the liquid nitrogen but uh-oh, of course undergrowth/sam is already there ready to stop him. something something she probably heard his conversation with tucker through another plant person, maybe valerie on a hoverboard. anyway she wants to possess danny and make him a plant person and we get the “together we can rule / I always thought you ruled” line that was the only good part in the og episode. this inspires sam to break out of the undergrowth mindset partially but, naturally, she was just a pawn for undergrowth who’s been preying on her self-esteem issues this whole time, and so now he’s like “ugh well if you’re not easy to manipulate what’s the point. i have to take over the entire planet with plants now bye”

epic fight scene with danny and sam working together to blast the man with liquid nitrogen while sam slowly gets possessed/plantified. something something something, they run out of nitrogen before sam gets totally planted, ghost breath is very cold (also needs to be referenced earlier). it’s probably tucker’s idea, but danny gets to do a magic kiss so she comes back.

it’s super awkward and she punts him at first. but then on for the rest of the series they actually ARE dating and there’s no more weird back and forth drama about things. danny’s ‘ice powers’ are now just being able to slightly control his body temperature (jokes later on about him faking sick by artificially making a low temp). sam is never once weirdly sexualized and instead she’s lashing out because she thinks her friends don’t care about her as much as they care about each other. undergrowth isn’t giving sam special treatment, she just happened to be the easiest pawn to reach