#but that is - unsurprisingly I guess lol - where my mind immediately went

[littleragondin]

Wedding Impossible: So there are those two brothers from a rich family, right? The oldest is supposed to inherit the family business - to the youngest's satisfaction - and get himself into a sham marriage to protect his secret (he's gay). The younger brother then decides to interfere to stop that sham wedding (and will most certainly fall for his brother's fiance obviously).

Me: ... Khun Chai is that you??!

[sukirichi]

no guidance

pov: you ask your step-brother to guide you in your first time 

part of the everything step cest collab by @dilfhub​ thank you for everything! 💕

note. lol this rotted in my drafts for weeks but i finally finished it eeeee

cw. virginity loss, sexting, mild corruption themes, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), possessive! akaashi-ni, slight dumbification, pseudo-incest (step siblings)

You knew better than to associate with the likes of Miya Atsumu. As if him being one of the most notorious fuckboys in campus wasn’t enough of a warning sign, his reputation was also infamous for being the “Virgin Killer.” In simpler terms, he took pride in corrupting the innocence of whoever was foolish enough to fall into his trap, and yet there you were, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you shamelessly sexted with him.

Unsurprisingly, he’s asking for nudes. Again.

It had been approximately three months since you passed notes with the said Miya twin (and of course you liked the worse of the pair) before your friendship escalated into something...more sexual. It was no secret Atsumu had a high sex drive, something you were still foreign with, so you weren’t really taken aback by his open vulgarity over his desire to fuck you.

The first month, you were nice enough to sent him a snap of your titties. Albeit still a little shy over not having sent anyone such an intimate photo before, you were beyond exhilarated.

The next, you sent him a booty pic. It wasn’t anything sexy since you were only in your campus hoodie, the door locked because you didn’t want your parents walking in on you trying to get a good angle of your rounded buttocks.

And just last week, you finally gained enough courage to take a photo of your glistening pussy, sent with a caption of ‘thinking of you...’

Now, you weren’t stupid despite your preference to act naive and innocent. You knew your actions would entice him to lead into something more, if his dick picks that show him already leaking weren’t enough of a telltale already. But as your phone pinged and his name flashed above your screen, the words, ‘meet you at Issei’s party this weekend? I think I’ve waited long enough’ loud and clear – your heart dropped into your chest.

Without another thought, you shut your phone off and rolled to your side.

The thing was, you’ve never really had sex. You couldn’t even be brave enough to lose your virginity to your hairbrush or to buy a dildo despite your friends’ insistence it was much better than an actual cock (quote unquote: both can make you orgasm, but the former didn’t come with toxic attitudes of horny college boys.)

Sure, you’ve watched porn, and you watched a lot – but nothing could compare to the actual experience of it. Your fingers could only get you so far.

Glancing at your phone that kept lighting up with texts from Atsumu, you felt something stir deep within your stomach. Curiosity? Arousal? Nervousness? Excitement? Perhaps all a mix of both. You’ve heard from all the girls Atsumu’s slept with that even though he meant bad news, his cock could be likened of that of  a blessing that converted them into ‘I hate him’ to ‘Gosh, I wanna fuck him again.’ Addicting, they called him, and now you were being offered a path to being on a path that most likely had no point of return.

You sighed.

The saner part of you warned you to stay away. There was no rush to lose your virginity now. Just because most of your friends had enough experience, it didn’t mean you had to be the same as them. After all, you came from quite...a strict household.

While everyone had been away from their parents and independently living in their dorms, you still stayed under the same roof as your father and step-mom, along with your older brother who was only a year ahead of you. Akaashi was a very sweet presence to have that you didn’t mind not experiencing that ‘youthful freedom’ too much, simply because your brother was a better company than whoever you could room with. He was kind, always ready to help, and you could confidently say you trusted him more than you did your closest friends.

Maybe that was the reason why you knocked at his room past midnight, shifting your weight from one foot to another. The faint sliver of light peeking from the cracks in his door told you he was probably still working on projects and the like, really not a good time to bother him, but you couldn’t hold on any longer.

At the back of your mind, this was the right thing. He was the right person.

“’Kaashi-nii...?” you knocked again, aware that he had a habit of listening to music on full volume while studying. “Are you there? Oh, were you studying, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to barge.”

Your brother stood in front of you, his headphones hung around his neck. He’d swung the door open to reveal that he was, indeed, previously hunched over his desk to work on something. Upon seeing the guilty expression on your face, Akaashi smiled at you in reassurance. “Hey, no, it’s fine,” he ushered you inside, setting you down at the edge of his bed while he sat across you in his swivelling chair. “Do you need help with homework again?”

“No...”

Turning away from him shyly, you opted to fiddle with your fingers as you stared at your lap. You had come here in a whim. You didn’t really think this through, and even though you’d been in his room a thousand times before, his dark blue sheets and tidy room that smelled sweetly of his detergent and vanilla cologne made you feel dizzy.

It didn’t help that he looked so mouth-watering in this light too.

Messy hair, long, slender fingers that absentmindedly spun a pen in those pretty hands of his, his dark eyes hazy and as welcoming as ever under the dim light of his desk lamp – how could you resist?

“What is it?” Akaashi quickly picked up on your silent worries. He’d always been observant, taking his role as your big brother seriously that he had attuned himself to sense even the slightest differences from you. Even though you’d only become family when you were already in middle school, it felt like you had known him for a much longer time than that, his warm hands rubbing soothing circles in your knees pulling the tension away from you.

“You know you can tell your brother everything, right? I’ll listen to you, you don’t need to feel scared or nervous.”

Guess it was now or never... “There’s this boy in my class...”

Akaashi’s eyes immediately darkened. All the warmth in his face disappeared, now replaced with a hardness you didn’t think was possible for such an understanding, patient guy like him. “Is he hurting you, forcing you to do something you don’t like?” his questions shot out one by one, and your eyes widened when he held you firmly by the shoulders. “Do I need to hurt someone?”

“No, no, it’s not like that!”

Your brother relaxed back in his chair. For a moment, your mind conjured up the dirtiest image of bouncing on his cock (and you know his cock is pretty after accidentally walking in on him changing clothes in high school) as he studied, but you quickly shook the thought away with a clear of your throat.

“What’s wrong then?”

You took a deep breath. “I just...I like him a lot and he asked me to have sex with him someday,” your words came out barely above a whisper, the courage seeping out of you until meeting Akaashi’s eyes felt impossible. “I said yes because of course I like him but...I’m afraid.”

“Hey,” Akaashi tilted your chin to look at him, his blue eyes pooling with worry and brotherly concern. “You know you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint him. I-I’ve never done it before and I feel like I won’t make him feel good. That’s why I came here,” you peered at him under your lashes, tongue darting out to nervously lick at your lips that felt uncomfortably dry. “You told me I could ask you for help in anything and you’re my brother so I trust you a lot to guide me on this one.”

The silence in the room was suffocating.

You were so close to running out of his room and pretending you didn’t exist for the rest of your life because what the hell were you asking? He was your brother, he obviously didn’t see you as a woman. You bet in his eyes, you were nothing but a little sister, and there really was no stopping him from kicking you out of his room until – “You want me to be your first time?”

You looked up at him so fast you actually felt your neck ache from the sudden movement. Heat spread all over your body, especially to your core at the unreadable expression in his eyes, yet it wasn’t...bad. He wasn’t rejecting you.

“Yes, please.”

Akaashi nodded at your hushed words. Slapping his palms to his knees, he walked to his bedside table where he pulled out an inconspicuous bottle with some sort of liquid you weren’t familiar with.

“Okay. Nii-san will teach you everything, but first, I need to prep you.” Fuck, fuck, fuck, this was actually happening!

You could barely process the events that happened next as he discarded his shirt to the ground, exposing his toned upper body to you from years of playing volleyball. While you sat there frozen and with a frantic beating heart, your brother barely blinked an eye as he gestured for you to take your clothes off. Wordlessly, you pulled your top off and shimmied out of your underwear. Too shy upon being exposed to a male for the first time in your life, you immediately headed towards his bed and closed your eyes, breath heavy and laboured as you waited for his next movements.

Akaashi’s hand went up to your knee, and you flinched at the contact, relaxing only when his soothing smile greeted you. “Lean back for me. Just relax and loosen up, okay? I’m not going to hurt you, Nii-san will make you feel good.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you did as he told. You were still shy, but you were feeling a lot less nervous. His hypnotizing gestures of caressing your thighs made you sigh in contentment as your head hit the pillow, legs falling open like it was second nature to spread yourself to your brother.

The thought had you biting your lip.

Before you could think too much about it, you felt a cool liquid being spread all over your lips. You gasped and clutched on the sheets out of reflex, staring forward as your brother stared at you cautiously, his lube coated fingers experimentally rubbing circles over your pussy lips. It felt so lewd for him to touch you like that – those same hands that always held yours in your weakest moments – yet it felt so good; the strange sensation tightening your chest.

“I-it’s cold.”

“I’ll warm it up for you,” he reassured, “How far have you gone? Any prior sexual experience?” Akaashi then began to playfully roll your clit between his fingers, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you. He grinned at your reaction – so vocal for him already – and he was determined to hear more of it. “Ever tried sucking someone off?”

“No, but I’ve watched a lot of porn.”

“Porn is different from actual sex, baby,” the nickname fell so effortlessly from his lips that you didn’t dare question it anymore. Not that you could anyway, because the tip of his finger was prodding against your hole that was embarrassingly clenching around nothing. “How about here? Have you tried masturbating?”

“Don’t ask me such embarrassing questions!”

“You’re spread open for me already, you don’t need to be embarrassed,” You covered your face with your hands to hide, but Akaashi pried them away, his grip on your wrist both demanding yet gentle. “Tell me so I know how many fingers I can put inside you. I need to stretch you out.”

“Just one.”

“Louder, baby.”

“Just one finger,” you blurted out, finding it harder and harder to breathe the more he glided his fingers between your slit. Fingering yourself couldn’t even compare to the beauty of having him do the same to you, your arousal only heightened by his dedicated stare at your shaven pussy. From below your bodies, his pants had begun to home a tent.

“Two hurts a little bit and ‘em too sore.”

“What a tight cunt,” he commented with a smirk. “I’ll have to take my time with you then,” You nodded gratefully, about to smile at him with hearts in your eyes when Akaashi slowly slid a finger in. Your moan came out breathless and muted as you stared at him, mouth open in a silent gasp. The intrusion wasn’t anything new but he expertly pumped his finger in and out of it that your walls fluttered around him, head thrown back for another broken moan as he slid another digit. The stretch felt fucking perfect – the slight sting more than welcome in your virgin cunt that was now being fucked by your brother.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’ll feel better soon. Just relax.”

Openly, your slight squeaks of pleasure had increased in volume. Akaashi fingered you until he was knuckle deep, his other palm flat on your abdomen. Had you been in a better state of mind that wasn’t previously clouded with pleasure, you would’ve been embarrassed at the loud sloppy sounds of your pussy, but you remained there with trembling thighs, your nails digging at his thigh as you stared at him wide-eyed.

“Feels good?”

“M-more,” you begged through gritted teeth, “Nii-san, more.”

“Not yet, baby, you’re still too tight,” Sooner than you’d like, Akaashi pulled his fingers out of you. Both of you gazed at the webs of arousal between his fingers; your face painted in shock while he smirked at it, chest swelling with pride. Then, his eyes slid over yours, hooking his hands under your knees before he settled between your thighs.

“Come here. I’m going to go down on you.”

“Nii-san, no!” your protests fell on deaf ears, almost as if he knew you didn’t really mean it. His ears knocked with your knees locked around him, and you shivered as you felt his hot breath right before your burning cunt. “It’s embarrassing...don’t want you looking at my kitty like that.”

“Your kitty is very pretty and Nii-san wants a taste of you,” he mumbles while pressing kisses all over your pelvic bone, his sticky fingers massaging your inner thighs into relaxation. Your head pressed back harder on the pillows at the sensation, the pleasure too immense and he was just starting. “Didn’t you say you want me to teach you everything? This is just a few lessons you have to learn so don’t be shy. I’m sure you taste heavenly,” Clenching your jaw from the overwhelming bursts of ecstasy, you failed to notice how he dipped his head further, tongue darting out to lick a flat stripe. Your eyes blew wide open as he torturously and slowly dipped his tongue from your hole, the wet and warm muscle licking all the way up from your slit until the clit. “See? I told you. Heavenly.”

“’Kaashi, ‘Kaashi, oh, oh!”

“You sound so pretty but don’t be too loud,” Somehow, he managed to raise his arms and placed a palm over your mouth. “We don’t want Mom and Dad to overhear.”

Your legs trembled around him until you nearly suffocated him, but how could you stop when he was rolling his tongue side to side, licking and cleaning up the previous wetness he’d pulled from you?

It was too much, too good, and soon you were moaning behind his palm as you came all over his face.

Akaashi greedily slurped up the juices that squirted all over his face, unbothered by the mess you’ve made. He didn’t stop until he was sure you were completely clean, and you were already on the brink of overstimulation when he locked his lips around yours, sucking whatever he could take. Unable to take it any longer, you pushed his head away and fell on your side in a desperate attempt to catch your breath, sending him a seductive glare, only to soften as you his lips, cheeks, and nose shining under the moonlight.

“Nii-san, your face—”

“It’s okay, I’ll clean up for later,” he shrugged it off and stepped out of his sweatpants, ripping a condom you didn’t even notice he had. You watched with baited breath as his cock sprung free, the tip red and glistening with pre-cum. Akaashi rolled the condom over his throbbing cock and situated himself before you, pumping his length a few times before aligning it with your hole, sending you one last look of approval.

“You ready for my cock now? This might hurt a little bit. You just need to relax and I’ll go slow, okay? Tell me if anything feels uncomfortable.”

Nodding, you made yourself comfortable and braced the sheets for preparation, wincing a little as he pushed the tip in. Akaashi felt you clamp down on him, his hips stilling just as he loomed over you, his arms resting beside your head. In this position, you could see each detail of him – the thickness of his lashes, the love blooming in his eyes, the sweat beading in his forehead and everything soft and slow written all over his face.

“Still okay? I can stop if you want.”

You shook your head and wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer. He raised a brow at your initiation, but you merely smiled at him to hide the mild discomfort. “I can take it, just keep going.”

A few minutes later and a hundred still good? later, Akaashi had slid himself in. He allowed you to get used inch by delicious inch until he was completely seated inside you, hip pressed to hip and his hand caressing your cheek. “You’ve done so well,” he praised, “How does having a cock stuffed in you feel?”

“S-so full,” you replied numbly, the feeling of him throbbing inside your heat so fucking delicious. “Love nii-san’s cock.”

“Yeah? I’ll give you more then,” he warned, and you knew you couldn’t go back anymore when he placed his palm flat beside your head. Akaashi began to move his hips, slowly at first to let you accommodate to his length which your pussy hugged greedily. You were moaning left and right and his groans above you was erotic enough to make you cum on the spot, the pleasure doubling as your pebbled nipples grazed his toned chest.

“Nii-san! So big!”

“I know, baby, you’ll get used to it, don’t worry. It’ll feel better soon,” he rasped, scowling when you raked your nails down his back, though not hard enough to draw blood. It would definitely leave a mark though, and the pain of it urged him to move his hips faster, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through his room that began to warm by each passing second. “Feel better?”

“Feels so good,” you cried around him, reaching up to bury your head in his neck and clinging to him like a koala. It did feel so good, so much so that you just might get addicted to this. “Love Nii-san’s cock.”

At your words, Akaashi’s patience that thinned a while ago completely broke.

His pace increased and he gripped your hips tightly, sitting back on his knees just to watch his cock slide in and out of you. The lube made sex feel a hundred times better from how easily he’s easily punching through your walls, the sight of you splayed out for him – hair strewn across the pillow, little whimpers leaving your lips, breasts bouncing right before his eyes and abused pussy lips hugging his shaft – it made him growl with possessiveness.

“This is how you should be fucked – you gotta be fucked right,” he announced, thumb coming down to rub your clit. As expected, you cried out and tightened around him.

He faltered for a moment at how tight you were, but he kept pushing, driving his cock in and out of you until he turned into you a sobbing, slobbery mess.

“You sure that boy of yours can make you feel this good?”

“N-no, Nii-san’s cock only!”

“That’s right, it’s just gotta be me, okay?” driving both his hands around your neck just to clench your airway as a warning, Akaashi fucked you harder than before. The sudden inability to not breathe made you impossibly tighter around him that you felt each ridge and vein kissing your bumpy walls. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, I’m Nii-san’s property!”

“I’m gonna mark you as mine, claim this pussy as Nii-san’s only, yeah? You want that?”

“Cum in me, ‘Kaashi, cum inside!” you prompted, and what good of a brother would he be if he didn’t grant his little sister’s wishes? Growling, Akaashi snapped his hips hard until the tip of his cock successfully kept repeating that sweet spot in you that you didn’t even know you had. You were crying, moaning, too fucked to respond as you came, and your lewd expression was all it took before he was releasing his cum inside the condom. “Kaashi, Kaashi, ah!”

Akaashi quickly pulled out his cock and took a minute to regain his breath, his head cradled on his hands at the earth-shattering orgasm you both had. Not a moment later, he’s tying his condom and throwing it to his bin, finding his way right beside you as you blinked sleepily at him.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, you were great. Just tired.”

“Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?”

You smiled at his concern, pulling him in closer for an embrace. He was warm and sweaty that it felt uncomfortable, but you wanted him beside you, and Akaashi began to caress your hipbones with so much tenderness. He knew he was a little rough for losing control like that.

“I’d love that, thank you,” you mumbled, more than ready to call it a night and sleep when his weight shifted off the bed. Akaashi rummaged through something in his drawers before he disappeared in the bathroom for a bit, coming back to spread your legs open once more. “Wh-what’re you doing?”

“It’s called aftercare. If your partner can’t provide this and pamper you, I suggest you break up with them,” he snickered, and you hissed at the sensitivity as he wiped away your cum with the towel. You soon relaxed, however, all thanks to Akaashi’s doting nature that you were falling asleep on his bed, allowing him to clean you up as he pleases. He set the towel aside and snuggled right next to you, his nose bumping your jaw to pull you away from dreamland for a little while. His previous sexual aura had now dimmed; his brotherly concern present again. “You still want to fuck your classmate?”

“Hmm...he’s really handsome, and I heard from the other girls he’s got a huge cock too,” you giggled, not really aware of your words as you said, “Probably even bigger than yours.”

Thinking that he might be offended, you almost apologized after a moment, but Akaashi only laughed as he hugged you tighter. “Size doesn’t matter. It’s who owns the cock and their talent in pleasuring their partner that matters,” he confidently stated, fingers running up and down your spine that brought chills down to your toes as he nibbled on your ear. “And I know I fucked you so good he can’t compare.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[taetaespeaches]

“Wait, I’m nervous.”

taehyung x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.9K

a/n: Ok, lovelies, here is just pure wholesome fluff with Tae and Peaches. They are in their own little world again, of course, and they are just feeling real in love at this point lol. Very loosely based on ‘invisible string’ by taylor swift. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

p.s. if you want the playlist Tae makes in this, here you are. 

HIS hands were gorgeous as he dragged the pen across the page, etching lines to form an abstract piece straight from his vibrant mind to the drawing pad. The diner, one you were well acquainted with, was relatively empty, only a few other patrons besides you and your boyfriend as you awaited your best friends’ arrival.

Jimin and his girlfriend were unsurprisingly late, and as you waited, Taehyung suddenly stopped drawing, reaching for his phone that was attached to a set of earbuds from his pocket. Holding the left bud out to you, he positioned the right one into his ear.

“I made you a playlist,” he smiled softly, a tinge of bashfulness evident in his features. Your lips curving up happily, you eagerly put the earbud into place.

“Show me,” you told him in excitement, Taehyung chuckling as he started the first song, ‘Make Out in My Car’ by Moses Sumney and Sufjan Stevens. Your boyfriend leaned over to you, leaving a sweet kiss to your shoulder before sitting back upright, returning to the drawing pad.

As you took in the lyrics, Taehyung continued sketching the simple but interesting image, you watching ever stroke of the ink. The lyrics entering your mind reminded you of the shift in yours and Taehyung’s relationship, as you skirted the lines of friendship and romance, fighting yourselves, trying not to fall in love with each other despite desperately wanting to love one another fully.

I’m not trying to go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I’m dying to fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car.

Despite the public setting, as you sat with your boyfriend listening to the music only you two could hear, it felt as though you and Taehyung were sitting in a moment of time separate from reality, isolated from the other patrons and kitchen staff. A space that was made for you.

When Taehyung entered your life, he came unannounced, all his youthful vibrancy interrupting your daily routine and changing everything forever. He was eccentric, radiating an array of colors that everyone saw, and you fell in love with them easily. If someone were to ask you what your favorite color was, you’d reply with whatever color is shining from him today. The inner-child within Taehyung inspired you, reminding you of the little girl inside yourself.

As the days turned into weeks, building up to months and accumulating into years, Taehyung was still by your side. You’d watched each other grow up, make mistakes, achieve goals. It’s not that Taehyung completed you, or you him, but life, within your little world, just seemed a little less worth living without him in it.

The song ending, Frank Ocean’s version of ‘Moon River’ started playing, you resting your head on Tae’s shoulder as you allowed the music to penetrate your heart.

My dream maker, my heartbreaker

Wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ the same.

How true that was. The man beside you was the one person who could both make your dreams come true, but held all the power to shatter your heart, but regardless, you were going with him wherever he went.

The song had a slow fade out, providing a nice transition into the next tune, ‘Early’ by Joy Crookes and Jafaris. The lyrics portrayed a relationship that is either doomed or is meant to be and meant to last. Much like how you and Taehyung viewed your relationship. The fear of failing as a unit plagued you for years until you and Taehyung mutually decided to take the risk.

I’m crossing borders of this friendship

You’re turning water into wine

I can’t believe it

Because, what if it works? You recalled asking him that very questioning, both of you choosing to throw caution into the wind, telling yourselves you were destined. You were either going to last forever, or it was going to crumble in front of your eyes, and you were both still aware of the risk that came with giving into your feelings. But you both decided it was worth the risk. He was worth it.

My ride or die

And I cross my heart

This is where we start when you walk my way

Left the baggage on the floor

You want us and we want more

Don’t you know I open door when you walk my way?

Lifting your head from Taehyung’s shoulder, his eyes drifted from the sketch to you, you smiling softly, matching his fond grin. “Is it ok?” He asked.

“The drawing or the playlist?” You asked, bringing your hand to his face to stroke his cheek with your knuckles.

“Uh,” he looked at the drawing for a split second before lifting his eyes to you again. “Both.”

“Both are great, baby,” you complimented. “You know what you’re doing,” you grinned, Taehyung chuckling.

“With the playlist?” He asked knowingly, both of you understanding the storyline of the songs he chose. You nodded, leaning toward Taehyung, the man dropping his head to gently rest his forehead against yours. “I can’t believe it,” he sang along with the song, moving his head a little bit to go along with the groove, you giggling at the cute action.

“Out of all the places I could have been that day,” you commented, Taehyung’s eyebrows raising as he pulled back a bit to allow his eyes to travel your face. “We could have so easily missed each other.”

“That’s crazy to think about,” he let out a breathy chuckle, his eyes falling to your hand that was resting atop his thigh. “I mean, I guess everyone we come across happens by chance, but not everyone ends up meaning so much,” he noted thoughtfully, you smiling at the comment.

As the song came to an end, Bruno Major’s ‘Easily’ starting, Taehyung wrapped his hand gently around your wrist. “If either of us had been walking by there just a few minutes, or maybe even seconds later or earlier, we would have missed each other completely,” your boyfriend realized, setting your hand on the tabletop.

Coming and going

Inside out and back to front

Oh, tangled and messy

That’s how we’ve always been and we’ll always be

And that’s alright with me

Just because it won’t come easily

Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

The song added to the story line, bringing you back to the fights and the jealousy, the falling out and ignoring each other, only to always end up back together. You couldn’t quit each other, and you didn’t want to. Taehyung was the easiest yet most complicated relationship you’d ever had, and he probably always would be.

Bringing the pen to your skin, you watched as Taehyung drew a little heart on the inner edge of your wrist. “You’re cute,” you smiled, Taehyung flashing you his stunning boxy beam. The smile you’d never tire of seeing.

“Don’t look,” he told you as he prepared to add to his drawing. “I mean it,” he smiled wider, you mimicking the expression as you covered your eyes with your free hand.

Anticipating the touch of the pen against your skin, you spread your fingers apart, finding a glaring Taehyung staring at you through the slits between your digits.

“No peeking,” he whined with a giggle, you chuckling as you apologized.

“Ok, I’m sorry, I won’t peek, do your thing,” you told him recovering your eyes.

“I knew you’d do that,” he complained as the pen touched your wrist, moving over your veins.

“I promise I won’t again,” you giggled, Tae letting out a huff of feigned frustration. When ‘Easily’ ended, Ella Fitzgerald’s voice soothed through the earbud, singing ‘In A Sentimental Mood’. Your lips formed into a soft smile at the song, swaying your body gently as Taehyung completed his work on your arm.

“You can look now,” he told you, you tentatively pulling your hand from your face, looking into Tae’s warm brown orbs.

“Yeah?” You asked, not wanting to jump the gun and ruin his surprise. The man immediately turned your hand over so your wrist was against the table, you frowning at him.

“Wait,” he smiled bashfully, “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” You asked in surprise, smiling at him. “Why? What did you draw on me?”

Taehyung giggled cutely, his eyes shaped in crescents, his smile wide and boyish, the man looking adorable as ever. “Nothing,” he said with the innocence only your boyfriend could convey.  

“Why are you nervous, Dearest?” You asked again, nearly cooing at how cute he was. Just as you were preparing to turn your wrist over, a knock on the outside of the window next to your booth startled you both, you and Taehyung jumping as your eyes darted to the noise, spotting your best friend standing with Jimin as they waved dorkily at you.

“Jesus,” you huffed, clutching your racing heart, Taehyung immediately letting out a noise of complaint. “I forgot they were even coming,” you commented, Tae letting out a low chuckle at the comment.

The surprise intrusion made you forget the ink on your wrist for a moment until you re-registered the song humming in your ear.

Rose petals seem to fall

It’s all I could dream to call you mine

My heart’s a lighter thing

Since you made this night a thing divine

The lyrics resonated so deeply with how you felt toward Taehyung, you found yourself rotating your arm to view the addition on your wrist, the air leaving your lungs for a moment as your heart skipped a beat, then pounding several times quickly to catch up.

Next to the heart he drew were the words, I’m in love with you.

Taehyung’s lips appeared near your ear, their soft plumpness just barely grazing your skin. “It’s true, Peaches,” he told you, making you turn to face him as Ella Fitzgerald continued to sing to you both, the song coming to a close.

In a sentimental mood

I’m within a world so heavenly

For I never dreamt that you’d

Be loving sentimental me.

Leaning toward Taehyung, you kissed him with intent and passion and love. So much love. It wasn’t the first time he had told you he loved you, or you him, but it was the first I’m in love with you, and it was definitely the first since the terms of your relationship had changed. You were both very careful in skirting around the word “love” since you crossed the line of friendship.

Your hands were on both sides of his face, his gripping your wrists as his thumb brushed over the confession he scribbled on your skin.

“I’m in love with you,” you mumbled against his lips. “I’m so in love with you,” you told him again before falling back into the kiss, though Tae’s widening smile, which caused you to smile, made the kiss a bit harder to maintain.

“Jeez, you two, we’re in a public restaurant,” your friend suddenly spoke as she scooted into the booth, Jimin following behind her. Separating from Tae, you rested the top of your head against his chin, your boyfriend wrapping his arms around your body, holding you to him as he placed a kiss to your hair.

“Whatever, we’re in love,” Taehyung dismissed the girl, Jimin smiling widely at the scene.

In love. You were. And you couldn’t help but be beyond thankful that you decided to take the leap of faith with Taehyung. Because in that moment, it was absolutely the right decision. You were meant to find Tae, and love him with all of you. Your paths weren’t simply meant to cross. They were meant to meet and become one. You had no doubts. And you were in love.

[terramythos]

uhhhh liveblog reactions of the newest october daye book, #14, a killing frost. don’t look @ me. don’t @ me. 

monumental spoilers for this book & the entire series 

-aw tybalt is taking toby's last name

-SUS AF looks at Patrick and Dianda. 👀 I knew there was a reason we established that Patrick very close to Simon before he went crazy and evil. I feel like that was in Once Broken Faith (#10)?

-LMAO I straight up forgot Rayseline exists.

-great to see sylvester's still a dick.

-still endlessly funny to me that Sylvester's Literal Evil Twin Simon replaced him as Toby's father figure and now sylvester's just like, some asshole who randomly shows up sometimes

-great to see Luna's still a bitch.

-great family

-well it's interesting from a purely academic perspective to see what happens to May when she's literally missing organs. Usually it's Toby!

-hi Simon

-Simon: *is evil*

Toby: you know what? This dude is way more trustworthy than Sylvester!

(She's... not wrong)

-Simon: *is evil*

Toby: come oooon simon you're a good guy cmoooon this is getting boring

-oh cool we're going on a road trip with evil!Simon, that cant possibly go wrong

-*shit goes super wrong like right away* ok

-toby calling may her sister constantly in this book awww

-walther shows up :D I love him

-yaaay the Luidaeg finally my absolute fave absolute queen

-toby: so I went on this big quest on my own and now Quentin is kidnapped and May got elf-shot. It seemed like a good idea at the time so me and/or simon wouldnt get caught in some weird magic contract with you

The Luidaeg: wow, you're a fucking idiot

Toby's narration: this hurt on a personal level because she can't lie so i knew she like REALLY meant it

-ok so theres this weird bit where we learn Stacy is ultra protective of her kids dating. There is some discussion about how that is super weird and doesn't make any sense to toby. Then some more discussion about how a lot of Stacy's past doesn't add up. Specifically, stacy's grandparents were purebloods (who hated her), which actually makes zero sense biologically considering how little fae blood Stacy has. Also worth considering, though not mentioned, TWO of stacy's children are powerful seers which makes no sense from what we know about thin blood in canon.

I think this *might* connect to my ongoing suspicions of Marcia as a character, who is a thinblooded changeling who consistently keeps showing up. Including in this book when she really didn't need to. At this point she has met multiple Firstborn and they initially seem alarmed/disturbed when they see her for no apparent reason. 14 books since her intro and we know nothing about her past or even her heritage, which is unheard of in this series. When that kind of info is obscured its always because there's a big twist associated with it. There is something going on there.

-speaking of. Um. Simon and Sylvester's bio mom was a human? Excuse me? What? Hello?

-sylvester refused to claim her as their legal mother so simon (angry about it) had to reject her too. A whole new layer to the "fuck Sylvester" cake and brings some interesting perspective to him stepping in as a paternal figure for toby, a homeless changeling? What the fuck, Sylvester?

-this is also one reason why not evil!Simon isn't a total asshole to Toby.

-anyway. Toby being turned into an otter and biting The Luidaeg was fucking funny

-wow, evening REALLY sucks.

-dang the tree thing is pretty creepy :( big fuckin yikes

-OK so toby's sacrificing her way home to keep Simon from doing more damage? I guess is the plan? Fuck?

-toby seems to know names of some Roane she's never met and I'm not sure if that's a mistake or not

-oh Quentin is big mad at Simon. Even if this all goes well a lot of people are gonna hate him. Also, he hurt Dean which is gonna piss Patrick and Dianda off

-though it was basically mind control so. SHRUG????

-god, fuck evening

-WAIT. Something was just implied that. wait... if that's where this is going I'm MAD.

- Toby: *takes on the curse*

Simon: *is suddenly not evil*

Simon: toby what the fuck no why did you do that :(((

-i like Simon 😬

-"apparently, the thought of Patrick being angry with him was even more distressing than I'd expected it to be. Interesting." UM. UMMMM. 👀👀👀👀👀

-seeing Toby briefly turn into her book 1 version was funny. Immediately pointing at tybalt, the literal love of her life, and screaming "you FUCKER". Ah, memories.

-ok. Ok yeah that's where this was going. Fuck me. Fuck.

-i am SO MAD. a fucking THROWAWAY LINE ...

-ok so officer Thornton is Oberon. That's cool. Ok.

I immediately went and skimmed the two books he was in and caught two instances of foreshadowing.

In Ashes of Honor (#6) when toby meets him she describes him as familiar in a generic way. Like, she recognizes his voice and face immediately but can't place it.. This is never brought up again. In the final chapter of this book he is described the same way, as generic yet strangely familiar. So. A closer reading might be in order to see how other fae behave around him. It's possible Toby has a stronger reaction since he's her grandfather (and is the perspective character.)

And yeah, the fucking THROWAWAY "lady, let alone" line from The Brightest Fell (#11). At the time that just seemed awkward, or I guess a gratuitous Tam Lin reference. Fuck me. Also explains how he didnt implode or die from being trapped in Annwn.

-and it makes sense there isnt much more than that because it seems "officer thornton" doesnt know he's oberon. Like it's basically the situation Simon was in??? There's a throwaway "why in the world was Oberon disguised as a human and couldn't remember anything?" line but it isn't explored, so I assume its addressed in a future book.

-(oh my god Riordan kept him as like. Some sick pet. For a YEAR. she didn't know he was the literal King of Faerie. Fucking hell.)

-his fucking name. Thornton. THORNton. Perfectly human character here hahahaha fuck off.

-and this makes the whole fucking series setup of "toby will be the one to find oberon" way more funny because. Man, mission fucking accomplished. 8 books ago.

-thematically makes sense that he returns in The Brightest Fell, too. Fuck me. fuck me! Bitter irony that Simon is given the impossible task/curse to find Oberon in that book and he was literally like, zonked out two rooms away

-list of "minor/background" characters in this series who later reveal themselves to be Huge Lore Gamechangers: Evening, The Luidaeg, May, August, Janet, and now FUCKING Oberon.

-an entire chapter of Simon apologizing to everyone

- holy fuck? Canon ot3???? Simon/Patrick/Dianda??? OT3? HELLO?????

-the October daye series has a fucking canon ot3 and they're getting married. Alright. Ok. Thanks seanan for my life

-"simon, amandine is just the worst and doesn't deserve you. Come marry me and my wife" is not where I was expecting this to go but like okay I am on board

-so the divorce happens and toby unsurprisingly picks Simon as her legal parent. But August does too. Amandine is pissed... I'm sure that'll be a whole Thing.

-THIS BOOK LITERALLY ENDS WITH SIMON AND PATRICK AND DIANDA GETTING MARRIED I'M

-"I now declare you husbands and wife" asdfhdkskxj

-well that book was a fucking ride. Holy christ. Toby accidentally found Oberon. That was sort of the big overarching thing. Not sure where the story goes from here. Theres some loose ends I already discussed and Evening is still a threat but yeah!

-ok we still have the novella "Shine In Pearl" which seems to be about Simon and Patrick and Dianda pre-series

-this is mostly VERY angsty (but well written) but 👀 at this novella mentioning Dawn as a character who exists outside of like, an offhand mention in the first book. Also referring to Riordan like she's not a minor background character

-calling tybalt an asshole too lol

-christ. Poor simon. Even more context of literally everyone screwing him over. :(( I'm glad it's better now.

[thelazyhermits]

A New Furry Friend

So, my original intention was to just write a cute little drabble to go along with something that was brought up near the end of the first chapter of @euan112358‘s, A Bright Celebration, but I just kept writing until I got over 3000 words. Oops lol

I hope y’all enjoy it! ^-^

After preparing and eating a light lunch with Class 1-A, you find yourself cleaning up in the kitchen while the students are practicing their super moves that they have to have ready in time for the provisional license exam. Several of the students wanted to help you out with the cleaning, but you told them it’d be wiser to spend all their available time practicing rather than worry about taking care of some dirty dishes.

Besides, you don’t really mind being on cleanup duty since it gives you something to do. Aside from helping Hagakure improve on her hand-to-hand combat skills, you haven’t really been able to contribute much to the special training, meaning you’ve had a lot of free time on your hands.

So, right now, you’re perfectly fine doing anything that keeps you preoccupied since the last thing you want is to be stuck on the sidelines with nothing to do. Even something as mundane as washing dishes is more preferable to you than that.

Still, it’s not like you have a lot of cleaning up to do, so it doesn’t take you very long to take care of everything. As a result, it’s not long before you find yourself with nothing to do again.

Deciding you might as well see what’s going on with the students rather than try to find something else to do at the dorm, you head outside and make your way to the auditorium where Class 1-A is currently practicing. Not long after you start walking, a sound you’re not used to hearing on campus reaches your ears.

Your brows furrow. Am I hearing....barking?

Confused, you turn toward the direction the sound is coming from and see a brown and white bulldog running toward you at top speed. All you can do is stare at it with wide eyes. A dog?! Where in the world did a dog come from?!

As you’re mentally questioning his origins, the bulldog finally reaches his destination and starts running around you, giving you a little woof every so often. By the looks of it, the animal seems very excited to see you.

Once you realize that, your shocked expression fades, replaced with an excited one. “Awww, you’re so cute! Come here, boy!”

When you kneel down and outstretch your arms, the dog doesn’t hesitate to accept your invitation. You start giggling as he licks your face. “That tickles!”

For the next several minutes, you just pet the animal while showering him with compliments. Eventually, once you get over your excitement caused from meeting and interacting with a dog for the first time, you remember how strange this situation is. “It’s not unusual to see cats on campus since cats can pretty much get anywhere, but the same can’t be said for dogs. How in the world did you get here? You have a collar, so you’re obviously someone’s pet. Do you belong to someone here on campus?”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t get an actual answer from the bulldog just a soft woof. Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to realize there’s someone who could get a proper response from the animal.

Smiling, you rise to your feet and motion for the dog to follow you. “Follow me! I know just the guy we need!”

Fortunately, you have no issues getting the bulldog to come along with you. Despite how enthusiastic he was to see you, you had thought he might not want to follow you to the gymnasium, but by the looks of it, the pet has no problem with accompanying you.

It’s when you both eventually come to a stop right outside the gymnasium that an idea comes to mind. “I wonder if you know any tricks.”

Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to try, you face the bulldog and hold out your hand toward him with your palm facing downwards. “Sit!”

A grin forms on your lips when the dog immediately sits down. “Good boy! Now, roll over!”

When he does just that, you clap your hands together before holding out one to him. “Shake!”

Your grin grows when he places his paw in your hand. “Amazing! You’re so well trained! What a good dog you are! I really wish I had some treats to give you!”

After you say that, the bulldog gives you a look that can only be described as being disappointed, making you feel really guilty. “Aw, please don’t look at me like that! I’m not used to meeting dogs, so I never thought to have dog treats on hand!”

Since your words don’t seem to appease the animal, you come up with an idea to hopefully cheer him up. “How about I learn how to make some doggy treats? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that they can be made at home, so all I’d need to do is look up a good recipe. Once I find one I think I can do, I’ll make a batch and bring them to you. How’s that sound?”

Considering how the dog is now energetically circling you, you think he likes your idea a lot. Giggling, you move to open the door to the gymnasium, allowing the bulldog to enter first before you follow after him.

Shortly after you walk into the gym, you hear Aizawa’s voice addressing you. “Care to explain why you brought Vlad’s dog to the gym?”

You do a slow blink. “This is Vlad-san’s dog?”

He raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t know whose dog it was? Then, how the hell did you find it?”

While Midnight and Yagi take turns petting the bulldog, you move to approach the underground hero. “I didn’t find him. He found me. I was just walking over here from the dorm when he suddenly came running toward me out of nowhere. Since he’s not wearing any tags, I thought I’d ask Kouda who he belonged to, but I guess I don’t need to now.”

Aizawa sighs, “Not quite. We still have no idea why the dog is running free when Vlad should currently be off campus for hero work.”

Guess Kouda’s assistance will be needed after all. Before you can offer to go find the quiet boy, Ectoplasm says one of his clones has already told Kouda to start heading your way. How convenient.

Not long after that, a confused Kouda comes to a stop in front of you and Aizawa. He takes turns looking in between the two of you and the bulldog which is currently being doted on by the other teachers much to your amusement and Aizawa’s exasperation. 

The corners of your lips curve upwards. “Sorry to take you away from your training, Kouda, but we were hoping you could shed a little light on this situation. I found Vlad-san’s dog running free on my way here, but according to Aizawa-san, Vlad-san should be off campus right now. So, we’re wondering how his dog got out. Do you think you could ask him for us?”

Nodding, Kouda walks over to the bulldog and kneels down in front of him. You watch fascinated as the two hold a conversation that you can only understand half of all the while wondering what exactly the dog is saying.

A few minutes later, Kouda pets the animal’s head before rising to his feet and turning to face you. “Wally says that Vlad-sensei left his class in charge of him while Vlad-sensei was gone. Since it’s such a nice day, Vlad-sensei didn’t want to leave Wally cooped up inside all day, so he asked Class 1-B to look after him.”

Aizawa raises an eyebrow. “Obviously, they’re doing a great job at that considering where he is now. Did he explain how he ended up with Y/N?”

Kouda scratches his cheek. “It seems he ran away from Class 1-B while they were distracted. Wally said he smelt a delicious scent and went after it which eventually brought him to Y/N-sensei.”

An amused huff passes your lips. “I guess he smelled what I made for lunch and wanted a bite for himself.”

Wally barks in response to your words, making most of the teachers snort. Kouda hides a smile behind his hand as he nods his head to show that the bulldog is agreeing with you. 

With a sigh, Aizawa tiredly runs a hand down his face. “Most likely, Class 1-B is currently running around campus frantically looking for him, hoping to find him before Vlad gets back.”

Midnight laughs, “Oh yeah definitely. Those kids are in for some hellish training if he comes back and finds out they lost his dog. His training will make yours look like a walk in the park.”

Taking pity on Class 1-B, you decide you should ensure that doesn’t happen. “Then, I better hurry and get Wally back to them before it’s too late. I really don’t wanna see what training that’s more hellish than Aizawa-san’s looks like.”

A large scary grin appears on the underground hero’s face. “I dunno. Might be good inspiration for what I can do next for Class 1-A. Maybe we should just sit back and watch the show.”

As Kouda goes pale, you shake your head before gently patting the quiet boy’s arm. “It’s alright, Kouda. That won’t happen ‘cause I’m gonna take Wally back now. Thank you for translating for us.”

After giving you a shy smile, your student hurries back to the pillar that he was training on earlier. Meanwhile, you approach Wally who appears to be enjoying all the attention he’s getting from the teachers. “Alright, Wally, let’s go find Class 1-B. I bet they’re going crazy looking for you.”

Ectoplasm chuckles, “I think that’s an understatement. They’re likely looking for him like their lives depend on it.”

Cementoss nods, “Thankfully, Vlad should still be off campus, so if you hurry, I think you’ll be able to return Wally to his class before he can find out.”

Midnight smirks as she rises from her crouched position beside Wally. “Of course, that is if no one here tells Vlad.”

A frown forms on your lips as you wag a disapproving finger at her. “Midnight-san…”

She pouts, “Come on, Y/N. Let me have a little fun. I wanna tease them a little bit.”

While the other teachers shake their heads, Yagi sighs, “I don’t think that’s something a teacher should be saying, Midnight-kun.”

Her pout deepens. “You guys are no fun! Live a little!”

Aizawa just rolls his eyes. “Hurry up and get the dog to where he’s supposed to be, Y/N. The sooner this mess is taken care of, the better.”

Nodding, you motion for the bulldog to follow you out of the gymnasium. Once you’re outside, you decide to head for the 1-B dorm, figuring you’re more likely to find some 1-B students there even though you’re sure a lot of them are currently running around campus looking for Wally.

Not long after you start walking toward the dorm, you hear familiar voices shouting in the distance.

“Wally! Here boy!”

“Wally!”

You give the aforementioned dog, who remains at your side, an amused look before heading in the direction of the voices. That’s how you eventually find a frantic Tsuburaba and a strangely calm Honenuki. 

When they notice your approach and see who’s walking beside you, both boys’ eyes widen in surprise. Relief quickly replaces the surprise as they immediately run over to where you’re now standing.

“Miracles do exist! We’re actually gonna live to see tomorrow!”

“See? I told you things would work out in the end.”

“You were the only one who thought that, Honenuki! I still don’t know how you could be calm while I was literally starting to see my life flash before my eyes!”

The corners of your lips curve upwards. “Lose somebody, boys?”

Honenuki sheepishly smiles as he rubs the back of his neck. “Yes, actually. Vlad-sensei asked us to look after his dog today, but he slipped away while we weren’t looking. Has he been with you all this time, Sensei?”

Nodding, you crouch down so you can pet the bulldog. “According to Kouda, Wally ran off ‘cause he smelled a delicious scent which happened to be coming from me. Apparently, he was very interested in what I made for lunch.”

While the taller student chuckles, Tsuburaba snorts, “Can’t say I blame him. But, I still wanna complain about him almost giving me a heart attack.”

An amused huff passes your lips. “Well, just let this be a lesson to you guys that whoever’s in charge of watching Wally better keep an extra close eye on him from now on.”

Both boys quickly nod their heads at your words. After you see that, you bring your gaze back to Wally. “And, you be a good boy and don’t run off anymore, okay, Wally? These kids are too young to be having heart attacks, you know.”

Wally gives you an acknowledging woof which hopefully means he will. Figuring you better let the students take over from here, you bid goodbye to the boys and turn to head back to the gymnasium.

Those plans are quickly derailed when, rather than stay with the kids, Wally follows after you and starts running around you. All you can do is stare at the dog with obvious confusion. “Uh, Wally? You’re supposed to go back with Honenuki and Tsuburaba, not me.”

Tsuburaba tries to grab the bulldog but is unsuccessful. “Come on, Wally! You gotta come back with us! Haven’t you already played enough with Sensei?”

With a bark, Wally evades capture again all the while remaining close to where you’re standing, watching the events unfold before you with a mixture of confusion and amusement. Meanwhile, Honenuki rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I guess Wally wants to hang out with her more. In that case, Sensei, would you be willing to come back with us to the dorm? Maybe Wally will be more willing to part with you if he got to spend some more time with you first.”

Since you don’t have any other plans this afternoon, you don’t see the harm in agreeing with his request. Besides, you wouldn’t be opposed to spending time with Class 1-B and Wally.

Just as you open your mouth to agree, an idea comes to mind that makes you grin. “Actually, I have an even better idea in mind.”

You quickly turn around and start walking in the direction of the front gate. “Come on, boys! We’re going shopping!”

Wally barks excitedly before quickly running after you. Meanwhile, the two surprised students share a confused look. 

Shrugging, Honenuki calmly follows after you. “I have no idea where this is going, but I guess we’ll be finding out soon enough. Better text the others so they’ll know they don’t need to keep searching for Wally.”

As his taller classmate is pulling out his cellphone, Tsuburaba just sighs, “Sometimes, I worry that you’re too flexible in your thinking, Honenuki. At least, consider questioning where the hell she’s taking us.”

A grin appears on Honenuki’s face. “Rather than worry about that, maybe you should think about how the rest of the class we’ll react once they realize who we’re with, especially one particular classmate of ours.”

There’s a brief pause before a matching grin forms on the other boy’s lips. “Oh hell yes. This is gonna be hilarious. I cannot wait to see his reaction.”

Because you’re preoccupied with searching for something on your phone, you completely miss the students’ conversation. You eventually don a triumphant grin when you finally find what you were looking for on the Internet. “Got it! Now, all we need are ingredients!” 

Tsuburaba raises an eyebrow. “Ingredients for what exactly?”

Your grin grows. “Doggy treats! Since I promised to try making some for Wally earlier, I thought I might as well give it a try while hanging out at the 1-B dorm. Learning how to cook something new is always a fun way to pass the time!”

As if to show his agreement, Wally woofs as he excitedly runs around you. Seeing this, Honenuki chuckles, “Well, Wally seems to be all for the idea.”

His classmate snorts, “Can’t say I’m surprised. Considering how good Sensei is at cooking human food, I bet that dog is about to get some of the best treats he’s ever had.”

You reach over to ruffle his hair. “Aww, thanks, Tsuburaba. I’m flattered you think so highly of my cooking.”

While a flush colors Tsuburaba’s cheeks, Honenuki grins, “You won a lot of people in our class over with those eclairs you made, Sensei. Awase was just the most vocal about it.”

With a laugh, you clasp your hands behind your back. “In that case, we’ll need to buy more ingredients so everyone at the 1-B dorm can have a tasty treat.”

You wink at the two boys. “I’ll let you boys be in charge of deciding what we make for your class. You can request whatever you want.”

Both students’ faces brighten at your words. A large grin quickly forms on the brown haired boy’s lips. “Hell yes. This is gonna be awesome. I take back all the complaints I made earlier about losing Wally. That near heart attack was totally worth it.”

Honenuki smiles, “Things worked out even better than I expected. I always love when that happens.”

Your expression turns amused. “Just don’t make a habit of losing him, okay? You managed to avoid Vlad-san finding out this time. You might not be so lucky next time.”

Tsuburaba quickly shakes his head. “Don’t get me wrong. I love how this turned out, but I am never allowing myself to be put through that torture again. If we ever have to babysit Wally again, I’ll keep an eye on him the whole time myself if I have to.”

While an amused Honenuki nods his head in agreement, you look down at Wally and giggle, “You hear that, Wally? No more disappearing acts for you.”

Wally barks before breaking off into a sprint. You blink in surprise as the dog runs off into the distance while a cursing Tsuburaba chases after him. 

“Dammit, Wally! That wasn’t a challenge! Get back here!”

As the brown haired boy goes after the bulldog, who is thankfully still heading in the direction of UA’s front gate, you turn to give a strangely calm Honenuki, who remains at your side, an amused look. “Looks like you guys have your work cut out for you.”

Honenuki huffs in amusement. “I think those dog treats you plan on making are gonna come in real handy in the near future.”

His response makes you laugh. “Guess I better make a lot just in case, huh?”

At that moment, the sound of Tsuburaba’s voices reaches your ears. “Wally! Quit chasing that squirrel! You’re going the wrong way!”

The taller boy scratches his cheek. “Yeah, the more, the better.”

All you can do is shake your head. Oh well, you were looking for something to keep yourself preoccupied today, and this situation definitely fits the bill.

At least, now you won’t have to worry about being bored.

[havenoffandoms]

Chuckleheads in Love

Pairing: Destiel

Requested by @very-anxious-ottter

Prompt: Destiel Coffee Shop AU, but instead of one being a barista and the other a customer, both are baristas in training trying to get the one position left open...

I tried something here... added my own little twist to it. Hope you like it anyway. Bare with me if it’s horrible lol. I had fun writing it though, and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. 

In the twelve years Gabriel had owned his own business, he had seen many a chucklehead pass the doors of his Wonderful Coffee Emporium, the most exclusive (and expensive) coffee shop in Lawrence, Kansas. He had had his share of rude, and downright arrogant customers. That was just something he had grown accustomed to over the years, and Gabriel fully expected his employees to be thick-skinned when working in his Emporium. The customers had ceased to be Gabriel’s problem a long time ago.

Employees. Them bunch could be a right nightmare to deal with. Recently, Gabriel had to get rid of his best barista because the dude could not keep it in his pants. The guy had knocked up one of Gabriel’s best client’s daughter… who had understandably not been very happy to his perfect angel girl turn into a potential future ‘Teen Mom’ participant. Very bad for the family name, you understand. Gabriel could not afford to lose this particular client – who also acted as a supplier of one of his best coffee brands – and therefore, sacrifices had to be made. Gabriel had only reluctantly agreed to let his barista go. He had been the best in the state, and replacing his expertise would be a challenge. And probably a very expensive one at that, too.

This was how Gabriel ended up advertising a barista position online and in the newspapers. He had interviewed around thirty candidates. He had only invited two back for a second meeting. Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester, both young, eager to please and ambitious. They were the raw clay Gabriel could mould into the perfect employee. The only issue was, they were both really, tremendously good. Their portfolio had been varied, professional and elegant. Gabriel would be judging their technical skills during a live ‘stand-off’. Exciting, right?

Gabriel went to greet the two candidates before his Emporium at seven am sharp. The shop opened at eight. They had one hour to convince him that one of them was fit for the job, and worth investing in. In a grandiose and dramatic way, Gabriel pulled the doors to his shop open and grinned widely at the two young men standing awkwardly a few feet away from each other, avoiding eye-contact.

“Hello, boys” Gabriel greeted them, stepping outside and letting the doors swing shut behind him, “my name is Gabriel and I own the Wonderful Coffee Emporium. This…” the blonde motioned to the building behind him, “is my little baby. I want what’s best for it, and that includes the most skilful employees. A brand like this one takes work. And like they say, the devil is in the details. Now… you both have what it takes, but only one of you will get the job. Good luck”

Gabriel invited the two candidates in, and went to sit at a nearby table. The taller man, whom the owner recognised as Dean Winchester, stood with his hands deep in his black chino pockets. He would have to neaten up his presentation, but those were details. Meanwhile the other young man, Castiel, was seemingly doing his very best to look everywhere but at Gabriel. Not ideal when dealing with clients, but again, easily rectified.

“Your first task… make me a large Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, no Whip” Gabriel grinned impishly when he noticed the confused and lost expressions on the two young men’s faces. “Come on, chop chop”

Castiel and Dean exchanged a worried look, but soon enough Dean nodded to himself and went behind the counter to get to work. Castiel soon followed, visibly trying to steer clear from Dean. Gabriel had deliberately left out instructions such as where to find the tall glasses or how to use the coffee machines. A good employee needed to cope well with stress and be adaptable. He watched carefully as the two men got to work. Every now and again, he would notice one of them glance briefly at the other. However, there was no malice or competitiveness in their eyes. In fact, they were furtive glances, almost apologetic ones. Odd. As far as Gabriel knew, the two men did not know each other. It did not take the two boys long to bring Gabriel his order. Unsurprisingly, despite the complexity of his order, the coffees were both perfect.

“Very good. Now, Dean… what could you have done better?” Gabriel asked. The green-eyed man cleared his throat, taking a moment to think of an answer.

“Well… I suppose I could have done better with the presentation. I mean… Cas is better with that kind of stuff, anyway” Dean admitted, blushing ever so slightly. Gabriel raised one eyebrow and noticed out of the corner of his eyes the smaller man glare at his counterpart. Alright. Curiouser and curiouser.

“Indeed, Castiel I really like what you did with the foam. Do you usually draw little pictures in your coffees?”

“I do, sir. Where I work now, it’s become my main duty”

“Very impressive” Gabriel granted, “although I have to say, the flavour is more present in Dean’s realisation. Maybe sometimes you should focus more on the taste and less on the presentation. Clients can’t taste foam-art”

“To be fair, sir, presentation is what distinguishes a good coffee from a great one” Dean piped up defensively, which earned himself another glare. Gabriel was not sure what exactly was going on, but he knew that something about the situation was off. Those boys knew each other, that was certain. What the circumstances were, that the owner of the Emporium vowed to figure out.

“Alright, your next job. Make me a tall non-fat latte, two percent foam. Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the order, though…” Gabriel advised, raising a warning finger. While Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Dean once again immediately set to work. The smaller man’s actions looked more hesitant. Gabriel noticed with surprise how Dean discreetly – or so he thought – whispered the instructions in Castiel’s ear as he moved back and forth between his coffee machine and the dishware rack. While the smaller man did his best to pretend he was not paying attention to his counterpart, Gabriel noticed the increase in confidence in Castiel’s actions. Again, the two men brought him their concoctions and Gabriel tasted both of them.

“I can see a trope here. Again, Dean yours tastes smoother, but Castiel your presentation is just beautiful…”

“Thank you, sir” The blue-eyed man blushed delicately at the back-handed compliment, while the faintest of proud smiles grew on Dean’s lips. For some reason, Gabriel was convinced that the taller man was happier about Castiel getting recognition than his own accomplishment.

“I’ll need several minutes to make a decision” Gabriel declared, standing up from his seat, “you guys enjoy your own creations. Feel free to grab something to eat, there’s sweet bites next the bar”

Gabriel vanished into the kitchen with only one intention in mind; spy on the two peculiar candidates. As soon as he was out of sight, he noticed Dean lean over so his head rested on Castiel’s shoulder. From where he stood, Gabriel could make out the taller man batting his eyelashes flirtatiously. The owner of the Emporium could make out the faint voices as he picked up bits and pieces of their conversation.

“I’m still mad at you” Cas snapped at Dean, moving away from the other man, “and I don’t care how much you compliment me, I’m downright pissed”

“C’mon, babe” Dean moaned, remorse lacing his tone, “I said I was sorry”

“Working for this place was always my dream, Dean. You had no right to apply for the position” Castiel accused, turning his back on the other man. Gabriel wondered why he paid good money for a TV package when he could have hired those two cuckoos earlier and get his daily dose of soap operas for free.

“Hang on, this is a free country. I couldn’t pass the opportunity… Besides, you know Balthazar wants to make you manager of his coffee shop one day… I don’t understand why you’re so insistent on leaving” Dean defended himself. Gabriel recognised the name Balthazar… not exactly a rival, mind you. His concept was different, more family-orientated, which meant that the clientele Gabriel did not bother targeting had somewhere else to go where they could enjoy a nice coffee. And Gabriel knew it was good quality coffee… he had tasted it himself a while ago.

“Dean, that’s not the point…” Castiel sighed.

“What is it, then? Honestly dude… Balthazar let me go, I should be the one complaining that you’re here”

“How dare you…” Cas guffawed indignantly. Dean merely raised his hands in surrender.

“Babe, I’m just saying. We need both our wages if we want to keep the apartment. And you have a good job waiting for you when Balthazar retires. Why are you so mad that I applied for this job? I only meant well. That guy will pay a shitload… and then I’ll finally be able to get you that ring I’ve been meaning to buy you for ages now…”

Castiel looked at the other man, his expression softening considerably when his blue eyes met Dean’s green ones. The smaller man sighed in defeat, cracking an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I guess I needed to prove to myself – and to you – that I could do this. I know I’m not the best barista, and today proves this. I guess I should be grateful that Balthazar still allows me to work for him”

Gabriel noticed fondly how Dean interlaced his fingers with Castiel’s. Those two were adorable, they really were. Dean closed the distance between himself and his lover and sealed their lips with a tender kiss. A shit eating grin illuminated Castiel’s features, an embarrassed giggle escaping him.

“Dean, stop. Your boss will be back anytime now”

“Who says he’s gonna pick me?” Dean asked, peppering Castiel’s face with kisses. Disgustingly sweet was never an expression Gabriel thought he would ever have to use, but it was fitting to the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Because even if he picked me, I would not take the job. You’re right, you have a right to this position, too. And I think you’ll love it here”

“You’re sure, babe?” came the uncertain question. Castiel nodded, smiling reassuringly and gently cupping Dean’s face.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry for being such an assbutt”

“You’re my favourite assbutt, though” Dean countered, kissing his lover once again. Gabriel shook his head, slightly amused by the men’s silliness, however the two of them had their hearts in the right place. Walking back to the table, Gabriel braced himself to announce who would be joining his team. Castiel and Dean both tensed up as they saw him return.

“Well, Dean congratulations, you’re in” Gabriel announced loudly, a wide grin on his face, “but before you start thanking me and all that, let me tell you guys something. The key to a successful partnership is communication. Even a team of the most talented employees in the world would be worthless if they didn’t talk to each other. You guys should keep that in mind for the future” Gabriel then locked eyes with Castiel, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Castiel, son… you’re talented, and you have this je-ne-sais-quoi that is comforting and loving. I’m sure there’s no better person to take over Balthazar’s business than you. I will have no regret sending you back there, because I know your skills will be put to good use there”

Dean and Castiel shared knowing looks, and both men had the decency to blush when they realised that Gabriel had heard the entirety of their conversation. The two of them shuffled awkwardly from side to side, avoiding eye-contact once again. Gabriel merely rolled his eyes.

Chuckleheads, Gabriel thought to himself.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Long Tangled the series spoilery ramble below.

Honestly the thing that bothers/frustrates me the most with the other characters during the whole Varian situation, even more than Frederic and Rapunzel refusing to acknowledge their faults in what happened to Varian’s village and his father frustrates me (and this does frustrate me, but everyone has already discussed this. Though I will say that Rapunzel seeing Quirin and immediately jumping to “I touched the rocks so it’s my fault that this chain reaction of events began” instead of just...... simply thinking that maybe she should have checked on Varian, and that that’s where she went wrong instead, is really... weird. Like she had no control over the former because she didn’t know, but she definitely did over the latter, and that’s what I would think first if I blamed myself in this situation... anyway), is the way Rapunzel and Cassandra seem to almost entirely forget their prior friendship with Varian post-Queen For A Day.

The way they refer to him almost each time after that episode has a surprisingly suspicious and negative connotation to them, even before Varian has done the first terrible thing he does, steal the flower! With Cassandra in particular it baffles and annoys me because of Great Expotations, in which she grew to treasure her friendship with Varian a lot and felt bad for breaking her promise to him at the last second; she was impressed by him, she accepted the necklace he gave her, and she turned down her last guard job so she could help him! Then later, it’s like none of that ever happened! She was there when Varian showed up to ask for help for his dad (he says that his dad needs help before Rapunzel moves him out of the room, and her expression in the background is worried), and she sees what has become of Quirin when Rapunzel discovers him in the lab, but she doesn’t express horror or sorrow or anything for Varian; instead, when the guards show up to get the scroll back from Rapunzel, she says something like “must be some of Varian’s doing”, even though at that point they have no reason to be suspicious of him yet, and Varian himself warned them of those men in his letter so there’s no reason why she would come to that conclusion. 

Then later, when Pete tells them about the cookie person who wanted information about the flower, she immediately guesses that it’s Varian...... I guess because of his knowledge of alchemy, and because the scroll he had wanted had the flower on it...? Both of them just seem disturbingly sure of themselves, as if to them Varian is just the kind of person who would do this scheme. Eugene even says at the beginning of The Quest For Varian that “it’s always something with that guy”... but it isn’t??? The only incidents he knows of at that point are TWO, in the first episode and in Great Expotations. He’s suspicious of/weirded out by Varian from the very beginning, which I half understand because of how his machines almost killed them all and his village (or just Rapunzel), and because of how much the Flynn Rider fanboying turned him off right away, but at the same time he sincerely tells Varian that he’s smart and good and has good intentions (and so knows that he doesn’t mean anything bad with his machines!), just like Cassandra also tells him later in GE... and so I just expected Eugene to end up being more fond of him than he does??? (like he loves kids, okay, just look at Big Brothers of Corona; where was my big brother Eugene to Varian, too ;__;) It rubs me the wrong way. But at least for the sake of the argument I’m talking about here, he gets more of a pass because at least he didn’t initially love Varian and then do a complete 180 as if that friendship had never been a thing like Cassandra and Rapunzel do! 

They’re already suspicious of him for reasons I don’t understand at all after the scroll-getting incident, (if I didn’t know any better I’d say they believed that bullshit rumor about him attacking Rapunzel - which is obviously not true, because they were there!) and then after the flower stealing and after the first automaton attack and after the Ruddiger attack, all the way to the ending encounter with Varian, Rapunzel and Cassandra are both incredibly antagonistic and uncaring when they speak of him, which just utterly baffles me. “It’s Varian”, “Varian is up to something”, “Varian is planning something”, “What is Varian after”, “We’ve played right into Varian’s hands”. It’s like they’re talking about someone they barely know, or have only known in a negative light; someone who isn’t a child who has lost his father! Obviously, Varian’s actions are wrong and dangerous and warrant anger, but there’s absolutely no reason they wouldn’t be sad about it all either, both for the situation and for Varian himself. Varian was their friend, someone they trusted and became close to after only two episodes (three if you count Queen For A Day)! Cassandra loved him (platonically lol) and recognized his talent and kindness, and also recognized him as just a kid, too, obviously; she should have been heartbroken at his loss, heartbroken at what he’d become, heartbroken that Varian had become so twisted and strayed so far from the person who did her chores for her that day and gave her that necklace and named a freaking element after her, all because of his crush on her (like seriously why did that necklace not crop up again. It should have.)!!! But nope, it’s all suspicion and aggression towards him. 

Rapunzel, having more screentime, is even HARSHER towards Varian, while contradictorly at the same time expressing worry for him, at least at first. First, she feels bad about having to “turn my back on a friend who’s desperately begging for my help” as she puts it > doesn’t go to visit him, as everyone has pointed out > has an ominous dream about him and draws him really evilly on her wall > decides she has to get the scroll for him to make up for not being able to help him before > is horrified to see Quirin, even if she makes strange logical leaps about how this is her fault, as I said earlier > is angry at Frederic for hiding the rocks from her > encounters Varian in the boat and hugs him and says she was so worried about him and apologizes for Quirin. This is all fine, so far, minus the drawing and it not ever occurring to her to go see him if she was really that worried. But then once they start trekking through the tunnels, she starts talking more rashly and demanding to know if he’s sure the flower will work, etc etc, and once Varian reveals that he wants it primarily for his father’s sake instead of Corona’s, instead of trying to talk him down calmly, Rapunzel angrily tells him that he will have gotten her in deep trouble, and for him to give back the flower and hastily says that “we can fix the rocks and your father, but this isn’t the way.” Unsurprisingly, this approach does not convince Varian to believe her and save him from becoming an antagonist at the last possible chance to change his mind, especially when Rapunzel adds a promise onto the end of her speech. Now, I won’t blame her entirely for all of this, since she’s stressed from her father’s treatment of her and stressed about going behind his back even despite that, but it seemed so contradictory to me to how genuinely worried and guilty she was earlier in the episode and in The Quest For Varian (and in Queen For A Day and Painter’s Block, too)... I know she was mad about the mood potion thing he reveals too then that he did, but I really would have thought she would have realized why he felt pressured to do all this, just how much the loss of his father broke him and how desperate he is to save him, and that getting angry at him would not help him, at least not at this specific point, and that speaking kindly and more reassuring would be better... Then at the end of the episode, she refers to Varian as “I don’t even know what he is anymore...”...???? What the heck Rapunzel??? HE IS YOUR FRIEND, AND HE IS A CHILD WHO IS MISSING HIS FATHER, FEELS LIKE HE HAS NO ONE TO TURN TO, AND IS MAKING BAD CHOICES BECAUSE OF IT. Emphasis on FRIEND, and a friend who she expressed guilt for not being able to help him and worried for him just less than 20 minutes earlier!!! Instead she speaks of him as some stranger or inhuman thing who is unbelievably different from the person she used to know (which, yeah, on the surface he does seem that way, but anyone with half a brain could see that he’s really not...), and she continues to speak of him in a hostile manner from then on, mostly to Frederic when telling him that he’s up to something and that they need to do something, etc etc. Again, just like Cassandra, no sorrow, no regret, no acknowlegement of their past friendship, nothing. Just hostility. Until he’s being carted off and she asks Frederic not to be too hard on him, which doesn’t really mean much at that point when she’s shown no remorse for him or desire to talk him out of his behavior at all for the entire episode before that + ending of the previous episode (her happily hugging it out with her parents while Varian is audibly crying over his father’s still-trapped body literally right near them was so. so. cruel, like others have mentioned. Like at the very least, he was vulnerable at that point so you could have gotten him before he almost proceeded to kill Arianna and Cassandra a few minutes later with his mecha that he had time to get into because y’all were just sitting there rubbing his pain in his face and... not... helping him...).

And again, in case it needs to be made clear, they have a right to be angry at Varian, absolutely, because he does terrible things that hurt them, and nearly kill them, sometimes. But it is uncharacteristic for both of them to not be sad at ALL also because of their past friendship with Varian. It literally is as if their friendship with him never even was a thing, which angers me so much, because he left an impact on Cassandra, and Rapunzel was worried about him at a point in time, damn it, and for all of that to suddenly be wiped away is just.... Why. It broke my heart, and I really can’t blame Varian for feeling like he has no one, because continuity? What’s that? Staying in-character? Never heard of it! I guess since Great Expotations was technically lumped in with the filler episodes, it doesn’t need to be taken into account, right?

I was annoyed, like others were, about Rapunzel not thinking to visit Varian right after the storm to prevent him from ever doing anything bad he did, but I accepted it, because otherwise there’d be no plot, and sometimes things need to be handwaved for the sake of the plot happening (and there was a flimsy reason for it, at least). But I cannot accept blatant contradictions of prior events and characterization, especially when keeping those things in mind would do nothing but enrich the characters and story and would make it a hundred times more emotional. Rapunzel is not that heartless and insensitive and slow to catch on, the events of Great Expotations would not just be utterly forgotten by Cassandra, and they could and should have acknowleged how much all of this upset them while also being angry, and Varian still could have stayed exactly as he is. As it is, it just feels rushed, shallow, and so out of character for Rapunzel and Cassandra.

[canaryatlaw]

so, lots to unpack here. first of all, to establish setting, I’m currently sitting in LAX (if that doesn’t mean anything to you, their airport in Los Angeles) waiting for my flight back to Chicago that is gonna take off at 1:10 am and arrive at 7:33 am (two hour time difference accounted for). So I figured now is probably the most logical time to make this post. Luckily I can control exactly when I’ll get tired enough to actually sleep because I’m dependent on xanax and melatonin now, isn’t that fun!! haha. so like, most of today was cool of course, and I’m gonna get there, but I feel like I should first establish that I feel profoundly sad right now, though I can’t tell if it’s from the big event and me seeing my friends being over and having going back to real life which now consists of FINALS, or from this nostalgia I keep having for a life I’ve never had, or if it’s because I was reading Captain Canary fan fiction on the flight here (from San Jose to LA) which now just makes me really fucking sad because all I can think is WE’LL NEVER HAVE THIS. and these posts are generally good at helping me unpack my feelings so I figured I’d write this while I have the time and internet connection (good for LAX for actually offering free internet, unlike the pretending heathens in Chicago). so. here we go. I had my alarm set for 9:15 but ended up waking up around 8:45 (because shared hotel room) and started getting ready. I was cosplaying today so I did my make up and then changed into my full white canary garb (which, omg, I forgot is SO uncomfortable), doing my best to make sure where Caity signed it back in March remained untouched. A little after ten we made our way to the convention center and pretty much immediately headed to Caity’s booth because where else are we gonna go? We continued to pretend to all be VIPs (victimless crime, really) and a guy who had rather elaborate Citizen Steel (or whatever the hell we decided was Nate’s superhero codename) cosplay on who was in Brandon’s line right next to us made eye contact with me and was like “hey captain!” which was amusing haha and we took a picture together when I finished with Caity. I don’t really remember exactly what was said at each conversation because we frequented her booth, but it was good, I was just sad when I saw the picture and I looked less than stellar. I had like, super been overheating trying to keep the big coat on (I like the cosplay a lot better with the coat) and trying to make sure my hair and make up don’t run from sweat because my head overheats really easily for some reason so I didn’t look totally awesome and you can actually see my stomach hanging out just a tiny bit between the top and pants in the picture and like, I wanted to vomit when I saw it and then had a bunch of super triggering and totally inappropriate thoughts about it for the rest of the day because my fucking mind can’t be like “hey maybe you should eat less junk food” it has to immediately be like “you should just stop eating again” because fuck being neurotypical am I rite? (I am fine, if you’re concerned right now, but thank you for your concern). We did something to take up some time (I don’t remember) then ended up going back to her because I was like okay I need better photos with my white canary stuff on so I did that and they came out much better. At some point after that I leached onto my friends VIP status and used it to cut the line at Justin Hartley’s table because fuck waiting in line, and I saw him and TOTALLY flipped out, I was like “I love Smallville so much but I started it late after the show ended and I liked it so much but I thought I was never going to get to meet you because it was over BUT NOW YOU’RE HERE AND I LOVE YOUR GREEN ARROW SO MUCH YOU’RE MY FAVORITE” that’s basically what I said lol, to his credit he took it well and was kind and gentlemanly, so that was nice. From there we got some food at some point (just the overpriced shit from the convention center, there was a really amusing exchange where my friend attempted to figure out if the hot dog on the menu came with a bun or not because apparently in the Philippines they come on a stick sometimes and the ladies serving were very taken aback) then I went to Italia Ricci’s booth, and if you don’t know who that is it’s because she’s not *really* an Arrowverse actor (she was silver banshee on a few episodes of Supergirl) but is actually Robbie Amell’s wife so they generally do a joint booth thing. I wanted to see her because she’s on Designated Survivor, which I really love haha and she was super sweet, I said I was a big 24 fan from back in the day (DS stars Kiefer Sutherland) and she was like “oh yeah I’ve never seen it, he’s always teasing me about it because he’s like you’re the only person who hasn’t seen it!!”) which was amusing haha and then I met Juliana Harkavy and got a selfie with her, and she was totally awesome as well and just a fantastic person. After that those of us who weren’t doing the photo ops got in line for the legends panel, which then happened at 2:45. I live tweeted pretty much the whole thing, so if you have specific questions feel free to check that out over on twitter @RachelEiley, but nothing terribly spoilerish was said, someone asked if they could have any person in the DC universe, either existing in the Arrowverse or not yet onto the waverider to fill Stein’s spot who would it be, and Caity was basically like “well I know who it is and I’m very happy about it so I’m not gonna say anything else” lol which has prompted a fair amount of speculation as to who that means. In the room it seemed like everyone was thinking she meant Nyssa, but it’s not very much info to speculate on so I guess we’ll have to see. the other amusing exchange was when someone asked if they weren’t an actor what job they’d have an Caity was like “astronaut” and Brandon was like “do you know math?” which is obviously funnier than one would normally observe it to be when you consider they were in 400 Days together, a movie where they both played astronauts (and were each other’s romantic interests). Caity responded that it was a “dream” question, so she could say whatever she wanted. When the panel was over around 3:30 we ran back to Caity’s table, but the queue was full and the staff guy was like “sorry we had to cut it off here” and wouldn’t let anyone else in but I was like haha no fuck that shit if we all stand here and be annoying we’ll get on the line which, unsurprisingly, worked very well and we actually got on the gold/platinum VIP line and were like one of the first people to actually see her lol so that was a good plan!! But we got a few group selfies in that look really awesome and got to say goodbye to her (which is when the exchange about me saying maybe I’ll do Clexacon if I don’t flunk all my finals and her responding with my law school class rank happened). Everyone else was pretty much shutting things down at that point, so we hung out for a little bit and regrouped before heading out. We went to In-N-Out because I had mentioned I’d never had it before, and the place was absurdly busy, so we ended up eating at the tables outside despite it being like 50 degrees out, but it was nice and fun, a good ending to being with my friends for a few days and just had a good time with them. We were basically across the street from the airport at that point so I was dropped off afterwards and we said our goodbyes. I ended up chilling out at the gate for a while doing quimbee videos, which I’ll probably go back to if I have any time between finishing writing this and boarding the plane, for a while and doing that, then got on the plane and finished the first sudoku puzzle really quickly, then fucking up the next one so badly I couldn’t even correct my way out of it (which like, never happens) that I just gave up and read Captain Canary fan fiction for the rest of the flight, which of course got me feeling very invested in the ship, and then I just felt sad and couldn’t quite figure out why. But the plane landed, got off on the gate and was directed to a little bus thing to get to another terminal, in which a cute pilot gave me his seat, and then I went to the other terminal, found the gate, found a airplane pillow that wasn’t entirely made out of polyester, and planted myself at the gate until the plan boards and resolved to write this in the mean time, and here we are. Now, further analysis on the sad thing- so, obviously, I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for a while now and it being over and me having to leave my friends and of course not seeing my favorite celebrity for at least a few months would reasonably make any person feeling sad, I feel like it’s not that simple. I mean, the fact that I’m going back to finals certainly doesn’t help, and I do have some anxiety about that despite doing this exact schtick every semester with my head going “but what if this time you actually suck at tests not like all the last times????” which of course is always fun. but there’s also that whole nostalgia thing that’s got me itching for something. It came out of course because of being around actors who are living cool lives and such, and links back to that thing I was talking about but not actually mentioning a little while back that had be thinking some of those things, and mostly just imagining that kind of life for myself and feeling wholly unfulfilled with the life I’ve chosen at being a lawyer and it wasn’t supposed to happen this way, dammit!!! I can’t exactly graduate law school and decide to go road trip out to Hollywood and become a waitress while auditioning, that would be a massive waste of time, effort, and money, and there is still of course stuff I want to do as a lawyer that has me not wanting to give up. I just want both, which I don’t think is possible, and that fucking sucks. The thing, anyway, was auditioning for a new show in development (that I’ll leave unnamed for now because despite not hearing anything they haven’t filled the part yet) that was taking casting videos and self-tapes through one of the casting sites I made a profile on at some point during college and was receiving emails from about it. And, this is subjective of course, but I felt like I really nailed the audition (and even if I did there’s no reason to think that would make it likely that I would get what is undoubtedly going to be a highly competed for part and one of which I do not fit the typical character description for), and I couldn’t help but imagine how much fun it would be, even if some of the stuff about the show that’s being said now (mainly how dark it is) makes me think it probably wouldn’t be the best idea anyway (my parents, for sure, would have a freaking fit over it). But that just leaves me here- going back to law school to finish my finals and leaving my friends and favorite actors behind and I just feel profoundly SAD over it all despite having a really fun and all around amazing weekend (it doesn’t help that my friends are going to continue hanging out, but this doesn’t really feel like FOMO). idk what else there is to write about that. it just...is. and I don’t think any amount of writing about that will change it. so I guess I’ll go back to reading my sad fan fiction? I don’t quite feel like going back to studying for bus orgs being that it’s 12:30 am (here, anyway, at home where I’ll be in 5 hours it’s 2:30 am) and now I just feel tired and sad after writing all of that. blah. this is a really shitty feeling and I don’t know what to do about it. there’s no quick fixes for this, obviously. maybe if I fall asleep on the plane (I probably will at some point) I’ll wake up in a better mood, and hopefully can get some more sleep during the day before I have to go to my review session and then make up class at 4 pm. So I guess this is me signing off, though feeling not very happy about all of it. Goodnight babes. Happy Monday. 

[ewanreviewin]

  Song: “Slide” by LPX

In <100 Words: Cheating a bit since this came out the end of last year, but I didn’t listen until the EP. “Slide” almost feels like a MS MR single if you didn’t know that Lizzy was doing her own thing these days, with its powerful drums and – so far at least – fairly clear vocals (on the verses). THEN Lizzy starts to belt about the lack of warning her heart gave regarding heartbreak. THEN she and her band bust into the incredible, dancey chorus. You’ll be screaming along with Lizzy by the end of the bridge.

Fave Lyric: “The sweetest love in life cuts you like a knife, ripping your insides, leaves you paralyzed.”

I Also Recommend: “Tightrope” has been and still is my favorite LPX track so far with the absolute shredding of that guitar. “Red Queen” is my favorite “new” song from the EP.

The EP Overall: It’s quite a banger of an EP and really makes me excited to see what the LPX project has to give in the form of a full-length album.

What This Sound Like: My heartbreak coming to life and screaming at me, with sick guitars playing in the background.

Song: “My My My” by Troye Sivan

In <100 Words: Writing a good love song is actually a super underrated skill. As is creating a great pop song. Troye Sivan, luckily, has the ability to handle both under his belt. “My My My” is so unabashedly happy. Troye sings to his lover to just let go and enjoy the moment of being in love – and in a world where love has so much pressure put on it, why don’t you?! Bring on the album, baby.

Fave Lyric: “Now let’s stop running from love.”

The Video: It’s sexy. It’s pretty. It’s gay. Come on – how can you not love it.

What This Sound Like: Running through a field at night as a rainbow – somehow – appears in the sky.

Song: “Supernatural” by BØRNS

In <100 Words: This is a bit of an underrated song from Blue Madonna. I am obsessed with the multiple drum play going on (I even hear bongos) and the strings in the post-chorus. There’s even a theremin solo in the bridge. Hell. YES. Lyrically, “Supernatural” falls on the second half of the album (right after the interlude actually) where Mr. Born seems to be over the heartbreak and is moving into a more introspective view of his previous relationship. It’s all dreamy and just lovely.

Fave Lyric: “Is it love or am I fooling around trying to find the truth?”

I Also Recommend: “Faded Heart” still holds up quite well, the witty and bright, yet bitter and cold “Second Night of Summer,” the rock-tinged “We Don’t Care,” and the empowering “I Don’t Want U Back.” I’d include the interlude, “Tension,” but it’s ONLY AN INTERLUDE!

The Album Overall: I’m really happy that he went down a route that was less energetic and… polished as Dopamine, even though I really enjoy that record too. It’s a great follow-up, though at the same time I feel like he’s yet to achieve his full potential. I have a feeling that will come with the next record.

What This Sound Like: A montage of going to the mall, but on an alien planet, but everyone’s happy.

Song: “After the Storm” by Kali Uchis (feat. Tyler the Creator & Bootsy Collins)

In <100 Words: Kali expands her resume a little by venturing into the deep funk of “After the Storm.” Tyler name drops his newest record & the Disney deer Bambi in his mellow & very fitting verse. Kali sounds great on the track too – singing very sexy & empowering lyrics as she likely speaks to herself in a mirror. The highlight of the track is easily the production. The bass is excellent & the groove slows down a bit towards the end before picking right back up & leaving you wanting more once the track draws to a close.

Fave Lyric: “So you gotta be careful baby, and look both ways before you cross my mind.”

What This Sound Like: Laying in silk sheets dressed in your softest robe.

Song: “King for a Day” by Anderson East

In <100 Words: This song is quite cheeky and I didn’t realize! The opener for Encore is actually a “let’s-get-it-on” song because I’d rather hook up once than be strung along as an unrequited love for a long time. You would not think that’s what Anderson is singing about when you first listen to “King for a Day.” Tinged with some elevating trumpets in the bridge/end of the song & very traditional guitar/drum pairing, the instrumental of this track is quite infectious.

Fave Lyric: “Even if your heart can’t look away, even if our love can’t stay together, I’d rather be king for a day than a fool forever.”

I Also Recommend: The scandalous & energetic “Girlfriend,” “Surrender” which sounds like that “rollin! rollin!” song, the sweet but also jamming with the guitar “Sorry You’re Sick,” and my favorite mid/lower tempo track “This Too Shall Last.”

The Album Overall: It’s quite good Americana/blue-eyed soul music!

What This Sound Like: Wrangling cattle on the ranch as the sun is high in the sky.

Song: “Kissing Tree” by The Spencer Lee Band

In <100 Words: Whoa, WHERE did this song come from? “Kissing Tree” opens up for a while as just an acoustic guitar and a back and forth from higher pitched vocals to, who I guess is the main singer. The song builds up more and more with a few strings, and then a NASTY bass line once we get to the second verse. Lyrically, it’s probably what you’d expect from a song called “Kissing Tree,” but some lines in particular are quite clever. All the instruments being released from their cages in the bridge – oh yeah, favorite bit.

Fave Lyric: “Shake you like a leaf, break me off a piece, I got everything I need under the kissing tree.”

What This Sound Like: Unsurprisingly, like sitting on a tree & making out with someone.

Song: “Disappear” by Tonight Alive (feat. Lynn Gunn)

In <100 Words: In case you didn’t know, Lynn Gunn is the front woman of the awesome band PVRIS. She doesn’t hijack the “Disappear,” but rather she gives the track a little more fire to make it that highlight from Underworld. The song is liberating, fun, and also a bit detached.

Fave Lyric: “Why does it feel like home when I’m lonely?”

I Also Recommend: “Last Light” is one of the softer moments on the record that’s really needed. “Burning On” is another fun, upbeat banger, and the punk rock “Temple.”

The Album Overall: Jenna’s vocals are awesome on this record, but I can’t help but feel the sounds of the album have kinda been done before.

What This Sound Like: Getting out of your comfort zone to do something that you enjoy, by yourself.

Song: “Lottery” by Jade Bird

In <100 Words: What a great melody on this song, especially on the chorus. “Lottery” almost feels hippie/Woodstock ready with the soft guitar moments & jangling tambourine. However, the lyrics add a cool contrast to this, being filled with number-talk. Plus, her voice is lovely – like birds singing almost. Seriously, can I talk about the chorus again? The ending line has been stuck in my head for days now.

Fave Lyric: “You used to say that love is a game, but you got your numbers and you’re betting on me.”

What This Sound Like: Spending your time with a loved one in nature instead of spending your money inside a casino.

Song: “Bite My Tongue” by The Academic

In <100 Words: It can feel good to speak your mind, but sometimes it’s better to just sit down and shut up. “Bite My Tongue” seems to touch on the short-term joy (or potentially, in the end, long-term joy) of not holding back and also deciding to keep quiet for the sake of “not raining on your parade.” Meanwhile, this the band playing probably makes this the most upbeat track on the record – and it sounds great, especially on the chorus.

Fave Lyric: “My dear, what have we become? … So I’ll just bite my tongue.”

I Also Recommend: The track that directly follows this, “Fake ID,” sounds like going out for the night – kicking off the track with the opening of a door. “Permanent Vacation” and “Television” are two more upbeat bangers. I also enjoy “Different.”

The Album Overall: It’s a quick listen at 35 minutes, and while the songs on the record may feel too similar to each other, the pacing & length of the songs don’t tire you out at all. All-in-all, a good debut!

What This Sound Like: Driving with the top down by the beach.

Song: “Perfect” by Andreas Moss

In <100 Words: Andreas has a silky sweet voice that sounds best over non-distracting music. “Perfect” does a good job of this by having, essentially, just an acoustic guitar in the verses/bridge and a fairly subdued worbly bass in the chorus. If anything the shaking bass in the chorus pairs perfectly (lol) as Andreas hits the high notes in a swoon to the listener who “doesn’t have to be perfect” and is “worth it to me.” It really does take someone else to see the beauty in yourself when all you see are flaws.

Fave Lyric: “These are the moments when I see you – the purest form of you bleeding through.”

What This Sound Like: Blushing.

Song: “Stay Off My Mind” by Skott

In <100 Words: Immediately, you’ll hear “I’m thinking of you!” in some sort of ethereal, potentially self-sampling outburst that will catch your ear. The production kicks in as “Stay Off My Mind” enters the first verse with chirpy drums, guitar, and piano. Skott seems to throw in some autotune into the mix, which makes her sound pointedly distant from the listener who she wants out of her mind. The one moment of a back & forth of “still on my mind” in the chorus is really pretty. Lyrically, it’s more heart-wrenching than you’d expect – being about the death of a close friend. Damn.

Fave Lyric: “I’m left with the silence – there’s something about it, I don’t know, I don’t mind just sitting here alone.”

I Also Recommend: Snappy & groovy “In the Mood.”

The EP Overall: Because it’s so short I don’t have too strong of an opinion one way or another, but the two aforementioned tracks get me very excited to see what a full record would look like.

What This Sound Like: Wandering a city, with nothing to distract you from thinking about thoughts you were trying to avoid.

Week of January 12, 2018 Song: "Slide" by LPX In <100 Words: Cheating a bit since this came out the end of last year, but I didn't listen until the EP.

[dreadhaus-literature]

{A/N} ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

I~ have been playing (and just finished!) Batman: The Telltale Series, and I want to talk about it, because I just have...a lot of feelings about it.

So uhm, be mindful below the cut. (♡´艸`)

First things first, I will admit I wasn’t expecting to...get into this game, lol. I decided to play it on a whim, just to sorta...I consider myself “toes wet” with DC (I know Bunny tends to give me more credit than that because she’s a peach ♥) but I figure, this’ll get me more ankle deep, even if it’s not like “canon” or anything--which, comic canon is weird and fluid so whatever, I’m not being real strict with the Telltale TL being canon.

Anyway.

So I figured I’d just play it and see some babies and enjoy that...but I got into it. Being able to be in the driver’s seat, making decisions as Bruce and really simulating his life endeared me to him and his universe more than I anticipated.

It’s one thing, to read comics and see writer’s words coming out of character’s mouths and being all, “Yeah, okay,” but when you’re making the decisions, it personalizes it. And unsurprisingly, I played a compassionate, empathetic, emotional Bruce Wayne, not some stunted machismo machine in a bat cowl like some writers and fanboys want him to be.

So I guess it’s safe to say this made me love him more.

I noticed something, playing--and it’s true Telltale style, like the Walking Dead games, where you have a wheel of sentence choices that determine your path--and it’s that Bruce runs into the same sort of problem that I see with Steve Rogers. I don’t see it quite as much with Tony, but Steve has a problem with writers wanting him to be some white bread, bulging bicep “JUSTICE FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER” machine when there’s so much more to him than that. It’s like uh, like the recent Civil War re-read that I did with Monica, that line where he’s criticizing his soldiers by calling them “Nancies” and basically comparing them to women--but Steve Rogers, MY Steve Rogers, guzzles his respect women juice because he respected and loved the absolute fuck out of Peggy Carter. But it’s writers who put that shit in his mouth and make him say and do things that then make me side-eye the fuck out of him.

And I’m realizing Bruce has the same issue, and I realized that playing this game, and seeing how he talks to people and really playing up the fact that he does have a heart and he does have feelings--and don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with emotionally stunted characters, I think it’s cute, but I’m on about those buttplugs who like, don’t write Bruce treating his sons like his sons because it makes him “soft” or when they make him treat Alfred or Clark/his teammates like shit or when he openly beats his own kids, like??? Fuck off, that’s not what I’m interested in and to be honest I don’t think that’s who Bruce Wayne is supposed to be.

So playing this game and going the compassionate route, going the route of making Bruce appreciate Alfred and Lucius and Harvey, people who support him and are his friends/family, it reminds me when we were reading the War on Jokes arc and seeing Bruce initiate the “I love you’s”. That shit about melted my heart and to be honest was right up there with his penchant for adopting kids that really made me notice him. To make me give a shit about him and not just because he’s Batman.

Which, by the way, I fucking love that he says that? Like Tony says it, “I am Iron Man,” and it’s cute they share a catchphrase or whatever, but I love that Bruce says it with a straight face and at the most ridiculous times.

I won’t go into like, a full rundown of the game or anything--to be honest I wasn’t going to talk about the game at all, but I surprised myself being so into it and full of feelings about it that I just wanted to talk about it somewhere.

I think I’ll start with the character designs, because it was real hit or miss.

Hit:

Harvey Dent*

John Doe/Joker

Bruce Wayne (...eventually)

Miss:

Selina Kyle

Alfred Pennyworth

Oswald Cobblepot

Now, take my criticisms and compliments with a grain of salt, please~ My tastes are eclectic at best and I like things that are different/out of the norm, so. And it has nothing to do with the character, this is strictly aesthetic.

Let’s start with the hits--Harvey.

I’m sure my love for him here is unsurprising~ But lemme talk about it anyway.

He was a big beefy boi in this game and I was 👀 from freaking jump. I went into this game blind so I had no idea he was even in it, but he was noticeably the biggest boy (okay well almost, there was this one bigger Frankensteinesque dude I didn’t recognize and whose name WAS NEVER GIVEN TO ME) on the block--haha lemme give him Brenn’s title as the Buffest Boy on the Block. He filled his suits OUT and I was here for it. I loved his facial structure, which surprised me considering I didn’t think I’d be keen on Telltale’s art styles.

As for the * up there on his name, I want to say that I went the route of saving Harvey from himself, so I didn’t let him turn fully into Two Face (this go ‘round at least) but I did see that ridiculous mask they gave him and that’s a huge thumbs down for me.

Lemme see them beautiful scars pls.

He looks delectable as Two Face so the only negative is that mask they tried to give him for whatever reason. 0/10, would take that off immediately.

Next up is Mr. John Doe, aka Joker.

And I have to say, like Bruce, he really surprised me--one, because I didn’t know he was in this either (IDK SHIT ABOUT DC STUFF, SO) but two, because I wasn’t prepared to really pay him all that much attention. Harvey’s a given; he, like Arthur, I had a soft spot for anyway because of Kayla’s rampant hatred (thus, giving me a need to love them as unloved characters) but Joker? Everyone loves Joker, so I was tipping toward, like, patting him on the head and sending him on his way kinda thing.

Nope. No. He showed up and I was like ???? WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE ALL OF THE SUDDEN.

Seriously, this art style fucked me up when it came to him. He’s stupid adorable in this game.

I MEAN WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO KISS THIS FACE?????

I’m fucking annoyed by it, I think because I was prepared to just breeze by him, but like I don’t wanna slap him or anything but it gives me the same cute aggression small humans and kitties do. I wanna squish his face and just coo over it, that smile is infuriatingly infectious.

Idk why I find him so cute in this particular style but it was like getting punched in the chest, like he showed up and saved me/Bruce and all the sudden I’m like, murder whoever you want just keep...smiling?

And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for his edgy styles, there are some where he’s almost monstrous-looking, grotesque and the like and you know that tickles my fancy but this particular Joker tickled another fancy of mine. He was almost like a puppy, here.

Eager.

So yeah. I guess I have a crush on Joker now.

And last but not least on the Hit list--Bruce Wayne.

And I’ll admit, as I did up here, that this look took me a little while to come to appreciate. Reminds me a lot of how I felt about Peter from ItSV, but I love that look on him now and that’s how I feel about Bruce. This grew on me the more I played, although when I started I thought he looked way too much like Archer.

And it seems I wasn’t the only one.

And while, like with Peter B., this particular incarnation won’t be my favorite Bruce Wayne look, there’s a softness to this particular incarnation that seemed to really suit the way I played him--which might be why I liked it.

There was a nice touch, though, because when he slipped on the cowl, when he became Batman, there was a decided shift not only in his personality but his physicality, too--

Which reminded me of something I’d read where Clark does the same thing.

So yeah, this incarnation took a little to grow on me, and it may not be my favorite, but I did come to at least appreciate it.

Now let’s talk about the Misses, starting with Miss Kyle.

And it’s weird, because as Catwoman she was stunning and there’s this one scene with her eyeliner on fucking point and it was SENDING ME. Good fucking god I was a dumb dyke through the whole scene, I doubt I could remember a word she said.

But there on the left, her hair was like some weird mix of a bob but too long and uneven to be one? And don’t get me started on her baby ponytail; it seemed too...childish? Sloppy? For her.

And something was off about her mouth. Idk if it was Telltale’s style or if the graphics were a little stiff but her mouth bothered me the entire freaking game.

I feel bad about saying Alfred was a miss but again, this is just from an aesthetic point. The man is a saint otherwise and I won’t say a cross word about him.

It’s not even that I dislike this particular look of his, it’s just, I have a favorite look of his and this is so far from it (and most of his normal looks) that sometimes through the game it would take me a half second to remember this is supposed to be Alfred.

It was like with Bruce, only it didn’t grow on me quite the same.

Like I said, I just have a favored look of Alfred’s (I’d dig up the picture but it’s on my phone and I’m lazy) and this just didn’t make the cut.

Uhm and lastly, Oswald.

Out of the Rogues of Gotham I feel like I don’t know Victor Freeze and Oswald Cobblepot...nearly well enough to be talking about them. But the game dealt with Oz so...I’m here talking about him.

And really my issue with him is that...to me he was barely recognizable because I only know Penguin by his typical outlandish look--short, round as a goddamn beach ball, and with that insane curved/hooked nose.

So I may be wrong in that he does look like this sometimes? I really wouldn’t know, like I said I don’t know Mr. Cobblepot very well at all. I just was surprised he looked like this and when Bruce was all, “Penguin?” I was also ?????? but for a different fucking reason, lmao.

I didn’t put Jim up here because he’s always on point regardless of what he looks like, so. 10/10, no notes for you, Jim. ♥

So moving beyond eye candy, the actual game itself, like I said, it was a surprisingly endearing way to be introduced to Gotham. It’s one thing to read the comics and see this particular writer’s vision of what Gotham is and who Bruce Wayne is, but with me in the driver’s seat and getting to make decisions, I got to shape Gotham and Bruce/Batman the way I would like them to be (at least as much as the game allows, lol) and there’s definitely something to be said about that.

I made sure to try and stick at least somewhat to how I think Bruce would have reacted to some things--especially as Batman. I like to stay true to superheroes’ brands (in terms of gameplay, writing is another story) so I kept the no-killing and tried to be...less violent than I might have been if I were, say, Frank. Which helped me win over Jim, so~ Haha but I uhm, I went the compassionate route with Bruce as Bruce Wayne, I was supportive of those around me and appreciative of them.

Unsurprisingly there was a Bruce/Selina aspect to the game, and I played that more as myself, because like Bunny I don’t really like them together. Selina is fine on her own, I see what she was saying about that, but seeing the way Selina is with people--she says things to hurt Bruce just to do it, and I’m...not down with that. Emotional maturity is a thing, lol, maybe she could steal some of that.

Ha-cha~ That joke isn’t funny but I said it anyway.

But I get it. I...palmed Bruce’s face out of the way and just gave the emotional answers as myself and I could see beyond Selina’s words to what she’s hiding--or trying to. You hurt others to keep yourself from being hurt, I’ve seen that sort of behavior before and I get she’s hiding her feelings by lashing out--a lot like a kitty with her claws out. So I have respect for her as a character because of the complexity, it’s just not how you go about having a relationship with someone, lol.

Like she stole some shit from Bruce, was fine to do it, so I retaliated by stealing some of her tech because i’m a petty ass bitch and she got bitey with me about it.

Like girl.

I also, like I said, went the route of supporting Harvey...because of course I did. I defended him every chance I got, funded his campaign...even after he told me he was distancing himself from me (let me LOVE YOU) and when he started to snap and Two Face was trying to get out, I refused to fight him and encouraged him to get help.

In the end, when Harvey turned on Bruce and literally tried to kill Alfred, Jim asked Batman if Harvey should “rot in prison,” or be sent to Arkham to get help.

I...know Arkham is corrupt and that’s a whole thing in and of itself but I went the compassionate route and sent Harvey to get help.

In the end, I saw Harvey in a cell. He refused to come out and help the inmates during a riot, but the poor baby actually looked kind of afraid?

And not to like, go off on a rant or anything but it was interesting seeing this take on Harvey/Two Face. I could relate to it, in a way, because it reminded me of my Alters and how I created Drette and especially misi to sort of allow myself to be and feel things that I typically try to hide.

Two Face started to show himself and though he...wasn’t nice to Harvey, he did defend him and insist he was there to protect Harvey, that “no one will ever hurt or take advantage of him again”.

Touched my heart. ♥

Selina was also playing Harvey, 100% using him for her own means and she said, about him, “Poor guy just wanted to fall in love so bad.”

AND THAT BROKE MY HEART.

He did seem very lost in this game, like this need to be Mayor and to be this big shot attorney was trying to fill a void, make up for some inadequacies he felt he had.

I’ve always been a sucker for broken toys.

And speaking of broken toys, Joker’s whole deal really wasn’t touched on much in this game (it is in the second one, which I’ll probably start after work) but I want to talk about the fact that I was like one of like 15% of people who promised Joker a favor and I’m fucking weak over it.

Lemme set the scene--Bruce, stuck in Arkham, befriends Joker (because I fucking made him) and Joker says he’ll get Bruce out of Arkham “but you’ll owe me a favor~ When I get out of here.”

And you had a choice, to owe him a favor or not.

I was 0% hesitation to shake his hand, lmao, and I didn’t think much of it until I got to the end of the chapter and it was like, “You and 15% of others agreed to owe Joker a favor.”

And I was like...? Oh shit that probably was a bad idea, lmao.

HE’S CUTE, LIKE I SAID. TF YOU WANT FROM ME.

And Bruce’s little Codex journal (which was adorable, btw) updated to include the favor I promised and he wrote, “Not a big deal to owe a favor to a psycho who will never get out of Arkham, right?”

Which- 1) You’re adorably naive if you think he’s not getting out. 2) I legit didn’t consider it being a bad idea.

So I owe Joker a favor to be collected later and I should probably be concerned because the end of the game showed Joker out and fanboying over Bruce in a bar.

SO. (oﾟ□ﾟ)o  YEAH. TBC.

There were other highlights to the game, like getting to comfort and protect a little boy (BE STILL MY MATERNAL HEART) and for FUCK’S sake, Oswald taking over Wayne Enterprises for a bit.

The entire thing was infuriating as fuck, like I mildly wanted to kick Oz in the face repeatedly by the end of the game, but the scene where Bruce gets his company back and he’s looking at all the shit Oswald did while he had it--I was absolutely in hysterics.

First of all, Oswald used COMIC FUCKING SANS to cross out Bruce’s name and write “Cobblepot Enterprises” on the website. I fucking lost my mind. It was so childish and petty and the YELLOW font looked SO OUT OF PLACE WITH BRUCE’S SRS BUSINESS FONT EVERYWHERE ELSE.

But it gets better.

Oswald had his team hack Gotham’s public records and not only did he change Bruce’s Ivy League diploma to Sociology BUT HE FUCKING CHANGED BRUCE’S MEDICAL RECORDS TO SAY HE HAD SEVERAL STD’S.

WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING SCREAMED.

I had to pause the game because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hear Alfred.

AND BRUCE FACEPALMED AS HE READ THE LIST and my god. I lost years off my laugh, laughing that hard.

I’ve talked quite a bit more than I intended to so I’ll wrap this up but before I do, I want to touch on one more thing and I think it’s that DC really did a good job with making Alfred the reason Bruce is a good man, a hero.

I haven’t read or seen or consumed all the Batman media that’s out there, but this is the fourth or fifth time I’ve seen Bruce’s parents turn out to be absolute shits. I mean this time it was only his father who was a dickhead, but the times his parents turn out to be garbage people vs actual decent human beings is like 6 to 1. And the one time I’m thinking of was some alternate dimension so I’m not even sure that counts.

So as someone who has pretty fucked up parents I think it’s nice to see a story where your parents don’t make you who you are. That timeline where Bruce’s parents lived and he turned into this spoiled, entitled brat, where it really showed that Alfred was the one who molded and shaped the good man who grew up to be Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s Golden Son...I think that’s so important. I really like that side of Bruce’s backstory, I think it’s something that isn’t as touched on as much as it should be.

There wouldn’t be a Batman without Alfred and it isn’t just because Alfred is always there at the end of the com when Bruce needs him.

And you can bet your sweet butt I made Bruce say that to Alfred at the end of the game. And Alfred got all teary and I got all teary and this is that qUALITY CONTENT.

Also? I’m super ashamed at the amount of people I saw in the stats who turned on Harvey and abandoned Alfred. I was in the minority a lot of time for shit I def shouldn’t have been in the minority for.

Half the time the stats would roll and I’m left looking at the PISS POOR CHOICES OF THE COMMON MAN LIKE

Y’all some worthless motherfuckers.

So yes! This was a lot of fun to play and I’m absolutely giddy to start the next game, especially since I get to see Puppy!Joker in it. And he’s going to be friends with Bruce because I’M IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT NOW, BATMAN.

Buckle up, Brucie, we’re full speed ahead toward Crazytown. ٩( ᐛ )و

[cafephan]

the danny situation/explaining my hatred of april 1st

okay here’s a post i never thought i’d be typing up. i can count on one hand with fingers to spare, how many people know this story, and none of them are family members or anyone i have any form of contact with anymore. yet here i am sharing it with the internet, but i feel like i need to articulate it and note it down somewhere rather than still trying to repress it even years later when it’s clearly not working and recently it keeps coming to haunt me more than ever

just a pre-warning some of you are going to think i’m pathetic for this still affecting me and will think it’s no big deal and it’s not worth posting about but i think it’s important for myself to finally just write it all down, judge me if you want i’ve gotten enough of it before

so, i’m wildly unattractive, i don’t feel as if i have to prove that to anyone. and if highschool movies have taught us anything about the typical ugly girl, what is it? that they always end up crushing on the cute guy (obviously this is a cliche movie trope and doesn’t apply to real life except it did to me, very much so). 

i considered changing his name for the purpose of this, but no like what’s the point. his name was danny and he was in my form group for the duration of the five years of secondary school, meaning we saw each other every day. he was also in my maths group (shout out to other people in set three, forever average) and little old me just used to fawn over him and not so subtly stare at him the entire time. though, having no friends, nobody was there to call me out on it, which looking back is both a blessing and a curse. 

like i said, i’m wildly unattractive now, so take a moment to imagine me in 2008. puppy fat aplenty, the chubbiest cheeks you ever did see and resting bitch face (which still hasn’t left me). i was a mess. but i saw danny as some kind of god - which he definitely wasn’t, i hate myself for ever thinking that lmao - and though i was always terrified to try and strike up conversation, it never stopped me smiling whenever he looked my way (we were only one person apart in the register too which helped in assemblies) and the odd times he did the polite thing and smiled back i would practically melt on the spot. 

the not so subtle crushing continued for four years, which takes us to our second-to-last year of secondary school. for some reason i had been forced to do a resistant materials gcse because i was apparently in ‘the cream of the crop’ in my year group throughout the past years’ DT (design and technology) classes, and still to this day i have no fucking idea why they put me in there because all i did was use the sanding machine. but anyway, DT god danny was also on the course, and he noticed me struggling with literally every part of it that wasn’t done on computers and took to helping me with little tasks alongside his own projects and unsurprisingly i was internally screaming because oh my god our hands just brushed on the desk vice and other cringeworthy shit like that which i’ve probably used in an early fic or two. there’s nothing more really to note on that year just remember that he started being nice then. another thing worth saying is that this is the year i started to wear a bit of makeup and when i came to maths class one day with pale eyeshadow on, he said that he didn’t like it and so i never wore it again (you should never change yourself for anyone, if something makes you feel good then you keep doing it okay, you dont need anyone else’s validation, i just wish younger kirsten knew and believed that)

the year after is where things happen so it’s late february 2013, and i came home from my grandparents’ house to find a new message in my facebook inbox. without being dramatic because this literally happened, i swear my breath caught in my throat because danny had just messaged me saying ‘hey babe’ i remember it distinctly, and i squealed into a pillow. i replied immediately, then flopped back on my bed wondering why this had happened, there’s never been anything appealing about me either in appearance or personality, so the reason why was a mystery, but i was so wrapped up in being completely head over heels heart eyes i didn’t really give it a second thought, because he replied a second or two later with another pet name.

these casual messages with petnames continued all through march and stupidly i started saying petnames back (which in itself is a reason to repress this whole thing), and on march 31st we were chatting and suddenly he says ‘can we skype tomorrow?’ and i literally cried, i was so happy. i’d heard girls in school talking about skyping with boys and a small very petty part of me wanted to be one of them and i felt as if i just might have the chance. obviously i said yes and we both logged off.

aaaaaaaand around rolls april 1st. the lovely lovely holiday of april fools day. what a fucking delight. 

i’m sure you can see where this is going, right?

so i dressed up nice and waited for the skype call to come through, and when it does i desperately try to calm myself down, and look to the ground and take deep breaths. my blood ran cold when i heard multiple boys’ laughter coming from the other end of the call. there were six of them, including danny.

without even addressing i was there (obviously they knew i was there) they started reading out the messages that it turns out they had been taking turns to send to me from his account, and put on a really high pitched voice reading my responses. 

(sidenote: i’m genuinely crying right now as i write this i’m sorry if there’s any typos from now on my vision’s gone blurry)

when they finally finished - i don’t know why i didn’t end the fucking call myself, i was just frozen out of fear and embarrassment and mortification i guess - they all burst into laughter, danny laughing probably the loudest. i was crying, and i opened my mouth to say something, but i was crying too heavily. this caused them to laugh louder, and one of them said “and even now she can’t fucking say anything, freak.” they laugh again and one of danny’s friends leaned in close to the webcam. “did you honestly think he liked you?” he asked, and i stupidly nodded, because at some point i’d let myself believe it, again because i had no friends to tell me how stupid and dodgy the whole thing was. 

then his friend went back and danny himself leaned in close. “april fools” he said with a horrible grin and blew a kiss to the webcam before the call ended, and i. fucking. lost. it. 

still to this day, i don’t think i ever cried that much. i had panic attack after panic attack, i didn’t get any sleep, and nothing could calm me down. it still holds the top spot of worst night of my life, and trust me it’s had many many challengers for that title since.

the next day, because i shut myself off from the internet that night, i woke up to three new facebook messages. from three of his friends who were on the call with him. ‘happy april fools, sweetheart’ one of them said, ‘i can’t believe you thought you had any chance with him lol nice try darling’ said another, and the final read ‘just kill yourself already. babe’. all petnames ‘danny’ used at one point.

so that is the reason i beg you all to not send any form of prank on april fools day to me. because it brings back the memory of that. every april 1st i cry myself to sleep, and though i know you all mean well, any involvement with that holiday, no matter how small, sets me off. 

this incident is the reason i couldn’t accept compliments in the early days, long time followers will remember, i’m sure. this incident is the reason i’ve not been able to have crushes on anyone. i’ve never let myself because in the back of my mind i’m always worrying things will turn out the same way. if i start to feel anything for anyone i back away and leave them alone completely. this incident is the reason i struggle to form friendships. tied in with the bullying and the fact i had no friends to teach me what friendship was, naturally.

in case you were wondering, danny’s engaged now, he’s happy. i think i saw on facebook they’re trying for a baby. which is good for them, but i can’t help but feel like it’s not fair. he’s off playing happy families and living life whilst i’m still here suffering from a stupid fucking prank when he knew full well i was crushing on him.

it was only three years ago, so i suppose it’s understandable, and i’m in a much better place with myself now than i was which helps, but it’s something that’s really etched itself into my brain and is still affecting me to a certain degree. i feel like now i’ve typed it all up, i might be able to sleep easy, it does feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. plus, i think i’ve made allusions to this story before various times but none of you pried about it which i really appreciate, you’re all so incredibly lovely and i can’t thank you enough.

so there’s the danny story and the reason i hate april fools’ day.

if you read this far, then thank you, and if you think i’m overreacting still, you’re more than entitled to your opinion, i’ve been judged on many things before and what’s one more to add to the list by this point. 

i love you all very much and hope you have a great rest of your day and i’m sorry if this dampened anyone’s mood in any way. i hope this has given you a little more insight to me, i don’t know why it would’ve but who knows. sorry.

xx

[meggannn]

character name origins

this was inspired by a post I saw a few days ago that I’ve been thinking about ever since that asked people how their OCs were named. the original idea, I assume, was to reblog the post and answer in the tags/comments, but I immediately knew whatever I wrote was gonna turn out to be an essay because I overthink absolutely everything, so I decided to make my own post.

so here I go, an essay nobody else will care about but me: “how my OCs got their names in canon, and how I picked them” (unsurprisingly, Shepard’s is the longest)

lydia shepard

> how I picked it

I was drawn to the nickname Lyd because it could pass as a name in a ME future timeline, it’s androgynous, and also monosyllabic, since I think orphans growing up would be more likely to address and know each other by words that are easier to pronounce, and stick with them into adulthood or until they chose to rebrand themselves.

(I have an old friend who goes by Lyd, who I realized later was probably a subconscious source of inspiration. my Shep is from London, and my friend was also a Londoner when we first met, something I genuinely didn’t realize until after I’d decided on Shepard’s origin story anyway. I’m sure if the friend ends up reading this there will be a significant amount of eye-rolling.)

> canon explanation

The origin of her name is wrapped up an ongoing struggle as I try to figure out what Lydia’s actual birth name is. (for the moment I’ve tentatively settled on Lijuan, tho that is subject to change. I’m almost positive I want her birth name to be Chinese, for reasons described below.) my idea is that, after her parents lost her (another long story), years of being shuffled around from orphanages to shelters to the streets shortened her birth name until it became mostly unrecognizable. ‘Lijuan’ became ‘Lyd’ which she later extrapolated as an adult, and assumed her full name should just be ‘Lydia.’

this is where I start thinking way too deeply into stuff that doesn’t really matter, so bear with me or feel free to skip ahead. Lyd’s name is is also wrapped up in my struggles to incorporate what I think we’d naturally see in 200 years in the future: most of the East being taken over almost entirely by Western influences as human beings become more biracial. I think Lyd’s parents would make a conscious choice to name her something traditional to their language instead of subscribing to a Western name, as a small attempt to keep their culture alive. (were they xenophobic? ...possibly. I’m tossing the idea around.) so the fact that Lyd ends up taking a Western name anyway (an English-speaking city with mostly white faces pronouncing a foreign name) is quite sad but I also meant to symbolize the cultural dysphoria she faces as a POC in England wrapped up in her experiences as a homeless child on the streets and a gangster out of necessity, and later as a famous soldier unwittingly becoming a part of galactic military space where humans as a species also experience extreme cultural dysphoria. (haha, me? projecting my identity problems onto my characters? no way!)

anyway. Shepard is a name she picked for herself since she doesn’t remember her parents’ names and wouldn’t have the first clue how to look them up. (even if she did, she makes a very conscious choice not to think about her parentage. I think she’s afraid of what she’ll discover if she finds them.) I used to play with the idea that “Shepherd” was the name of someone she knew who might’ve raised or looked out for her on the streets, and on enlisting she decided to take that name for lack of any other, but due to illiteracy she ended up misspelling it. I ultimately decided that I like the sound of Shepard choosing her own name from scratch, purposefully naming herself after someone most humans can agree was brave, intelligent, and an adventurer, all things she privately wished she could be but also felt as though she was herself up for failure by aligning herself with. She was embarrassed by her private interest for traveling the universe, even though she never seriously thought she’d ever get the chance, so when picking a surname to put on her documents she decided to look into astronauts, and well... “Armstrong” was a little too obvious.

valeria hawke

> how I picked it

I picked this name ages ago, and to be honest I’ve been falling out of love with it lately so I’ve been going by the default “Marian” as I consider other options. but I picked it because I’ve always loved the name Valerie, but it didn’t sound like a medieval name, so I looked up older versions, and found the Latin “Valeria.” I really wish there were more thought to it than that, but sadly no. 

(now as it’s been a few years since I first played DA2, I’ve grown more fond of “Marian” because some translations mark it up as “rebellion” which seems particularly appropriate for the DA2 narrative. for my own sake though, I generally like to name my OCs something to differentiate them in my own mind from the default; even though they tend to share the same traits I know everyone views the default differently, so giving my Hawke her own name is a way of dividing the line for me between “what fandom agrees is default Hawke” vs “default Hawke with my headcanons that can essentially be called my character.” so that’s the one thing preventing me from using Marian for my Hawke, really. if it sounds like a stupid reason that’s probably because it is.)

eta: i’ve changed it to “anita” because honestly i just like that prettier. in sanskrit it means “leader” and “without guile” (ironic, considering).

> canon explanation

In the real world, it means “to be strong,” so assuming that translates to the Thedas common tongue, I liked the idea of Malcolm and Leandra naming their first kid something ridiculously sentimental. I mean, they’re the kind of romantics to fall in love despite all reason, get pregnant, run away to another country and never talk to their families again. I can definitely see them picking something cheesy for their first kid’s name (who was conceived while Malcolm was still an illegal apostate and Leandra was engaged to someone else iirc. like, come on, that’s textbook fairytale, of course it was doomed to end badly, and of course their kid was doomed to have a rough life built on their mistakes).

to my knowledge “Valeria” primarily has a history of usage in Spanish and Italian, and it’s originally Latin (since it’s from the Latin word “valere”). this jibes with my Hawke family, who is mixed because I said so. I really like the idea of Malcolm not being from Ferelden or the Marches, and that “Hawke” is a name he chose himself to blend into Ferelden; I’ve seen some headcanon he has roots in Tevinter, which is interesting, though I’ve largely settled on the idea of him being Antivan. so if Italian = Antivan, then... there we go.

monica ryder

> how I picked it

I genuinely can’t recall the moment I decided "yes, this is the one for me” but I always knew who my facecast would be (mixed actress Lindsay Morgan). so knowing my Ryder was visibly mixed/racially ambiguous from the get-go, when I chose the name later, I think I was drawn to the fact that the name Monica has a history of use in many languages, and quite simply, I just liked how “Monica Ryder” sounds on the tongue.

> canon explanation

I think Ellen and Alec split naming the kids down the middle (Monica was probably Ellen’s pick, and Scott was Alec’s), but literally that’s all I’ve got so far, lol. (I kinda wanted to keep the name Sara as a middle name, but “Monica Sara Ryder” doesn’t sound quite right to me... I’m working on it.)

gemma cousland

(DAO doesn’t give me any good caps and the DAI CC failed me, so please pretend this girl actually looks EA instead of a white girl after her first trip to Hot Topic, lol.)

> how I picked it

I’ve always associated the name “Gemma” with royalty for some reason, so when I started my first Origins game as a female rogue I guess I figured it was a safe, lore-compliant option and just went with it. later I realized I was probably influenced by Gemma Doyle from the Great and Terrible Beauty trilogy, which was a favorite of mine growing up.

> canon explanation

ah... I really haven’t thought of it. I don’t even have a reason for why an Asian family would be nobility in Thedas’s England equivalent, much less why they would name their kid a non-EA name if they’re the traditional sort, but not much makes sense in Thedas anyway. Gemma is Italian from the word “gem” or “jewel,” so I’ll just pretend the Couslands were that particular brand of superstitious boring noble parents that thought naming their only daughter after something shiny would mean she would have a simple life. lol.

reyna mahariel

(I haven’t gotten around to making her in the DAI CC yet, whoops)

> how I picked it

Another one of those “it sounded nice to my ears and I had already been staring at the ‘choose your name’ screen for over ten minutes and just needed to pick something” situations. Reyna is Spanish for “queen,” but there’s not meant to be any correlation or implications there. I picked it because it honestly just sounded nice.

> canon explanation

of course the most logical follow-up question is, if Reyna is a traditionally noble European name, why give it to a Dalish elf who’s never known a speck of luxury in her life? erm... I’m gonna pull the fictional universe card and say it’s a fantasy RPG, who cares.

Reyna has a lot of variations (Raina, Reina, Regina) and “queen” is the most common meaning, but one translation marks it down as once meaning “song,” which I kind of like. so, continuing the theme of parents giving their kids symbolic names and their hopes later getting flushed down the toilet as the kids get swept up into preventing disasters and dealing with the fallout of various apocalyptic scenarios... I run with the idea that Reyna’s parents wanted her to grow up as a musician or Dalish equivalent of a bard, which Reyna tossed out the window as soon as she picked up a bow and decided she was going to be a huntress, thank you very much.

--

THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG AND IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ANY OF IT, GENUINE PROPS TO YOU

[novapark]

I owe you all some replies

So let’s get to it. ^.^

msmidnightblonde replied to your photoset “Hey pretty thing how’s it goin’ on with you tonight?.”  “Well I’m at...”

I like how he started singing a different tune preeeeeetty quickly. hah

LOL like the elimination made him wise up right? A couple of them seemed like that. And others seemed to get more angsty heh. 

msmidnightblonde replied to your photoset “kittykat8311: sauvamente: Who are they waving too? Ghosts? Gotta...”

pahaha some people man.

LOL right? Even the one they shared looks pretty bare of spectators. *eyeroll* 

msmidnightblonde replied to your photoset “Seriously with as dirty as you are you’d think you’d accept it a bit...”

lol hipster kissing lips. I. am. dying.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Seriously with as dirty as you are you’d think you’d accept it a bit...”

skank juice, LOL

They are both kind of eloquent with the way they talk aren’t they? 

msmidnightblonde replied to your photoset “So Kelsey how many guys have you been with?”  “Wow way to go...”

haha Oh Davis. I adore you. Also, yes, I see that he enjoys being shirtless. *takes notes* lol

Yeah like unless we leave the house he just kind of roams around in just his sleep clothes hahaha. 

hureuf replied to your photoset “Course in some cases it didn’t seem to improve things all that much. ”

Keep trying bb maybe she's just pmsing

hureuf replied to your photoset “Course the fact I put in a spa might have something to do with it....”

Oh my god, you are FINALLY doing something

God they are just so damn infuriating right? 

hellokawaiipotato replied to your photoset “If you want I can show you things I can swallow.”  “C’mon girl now...”

My dirty mind immediately went to the best place

It’s really the only place to go in that reply, lol. 

anchoredsims replied to your photoset “Obligatory omg I love teh tots post.  ”

Oh how cuuuuute. ^__^

God I freakin love that kid, that save is just full of adorable toddling goodness. Course he is like more than half way to a teen in my game now. D:

s3ns2 replied to your photoset “Unsurprisingly it was a den of distraction and no one talked to each...”

Kai an Kels always seem to be sat next to each other so even if he doesn't win seems he got a bestie

They do seem to like to chat a lot and giggle between the two of them but whenever she hits on him it’s like waht wah.

s3ns2 replied to your photoset “Kelsey left their game to say hi to Kai since he was off all by his...”

ahahah hes such a dick bless her

I swear it’s like he’s okay with the attention but doesn’t approve with the way she does it, lol. 

s3ns2 replied to your photoset “Wow… nice guys.  “I can’t believe we just missed a high five.”  “Hey I...”

lmfao idiots ;'D

I about died when I saw that. I had it happen before in game but it had been a long time, lol. 

s3ns2 replied to your post “Ya know I don’t terribly mind when people use my sims, even as bases...”

Thats such a shame someone did that, takes 2 seconds to tag the creator :(

The thing with her is she didn’t want to say they were not hers. I didn’t even care if she didn’t recognize it publically, I just wanted her to admit they were mine to me personally cause seriously they were faves and I shouldn’t have uploaded them. One sims name was exactly the same and the others had like only the first bit of her name cut off, like a cutesy nickname of her actual name so it wasn’t as clear of a rip off.  Like it was pretty blatant to me cause I know what they look like in various types of make up but she refused to admit she had done it. I even said “maybe you forgot downloading them’ and then she just blocked me. Then she went off publicly even though I didn’t call her out directly on here about it she started tagging all the posts with them “MY SIMS CAUSE I GUESS I HAVE TO SAY THAT NOW.” Whatever little bitch, if it helps you sleep at night. 

s3ns2 replied to your photo “Quick look at the un-berried version. ”

do you know where his hairs from? i love!!!

I got his version from GLW here but I have since retextured it myself. It is a really nice one. 

hureuf replied to your photoset “They put us all in the same fuckin’ room now!  Can you believe that...”

Stop being a little bitch Fergus *rolls eyes*

To be fair, they all are kinda bitches, lol. 

hureuf replied to your photoset “Made some changes round the lot to cultivate some more friendly...”

That fucking sauna set up is my BIGGEST regret from my "Josi's BC" because that's all they fucking did! Never. Again.

Yeah I had that issue in my last one I did last year so I tuned it down this time. It’s still a favorite place but it’s not like how it was in the other save. 

simcatcher replied to your photoset “Hey Kelsey hold on, about earlier… I wanted to apologize.”  “For...”

Okay he's my fave

Haha he’s such a dick sometimes though. Course most of my guys are kind of assholish so he fits right in I guess, lol. 

msmidnightblonde replied to your photo “I’m alright… I mean I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends…”  “I think...”

lookit this smooth talkin' fool. heheh

Bringin’ out the charisma like a boss. 

simcatcher replied to your photoset “Seems actually the elimination may have lit a bit of fire under some...”

Omg ! They actually CAN not scream at each other eveytime ahah

I know I was surprised myself. 

ciarasia replied to your photoset “So you wanna play tag or something? Usually you’re game for that by...”

only in the sims will grown adults play tag

I used to play airsoft all the time in my early 20′s, that’s kind of like tag for adults,lol. 

gaiahypothesims replied to your post “The mysterious smoke monster”

Zeff is totally going to turn out to be a Werewolf. ;)

HAHAHA and he could feesably in my game too, though I don’t typically  use the werewolf form cause the dang fool form always resets during the full moon. Like I’ll spend forever transferring over their sliders and it looks good until the next full moon and then RAAAAWRR. Idk how I would do it nowadays. My friend used a dog in her story to represent their form. I write them more as changlings, actually that’s essentially what Kataratosi (Kelsey’s family) were before Retirement day. 

crownmesims replied to your photoset “And for the other, Wyatt.. I’m sorry. I just don’t think we’ve been...”

Kai looks so pleased about this XD

Yeah he is relishing a bit much in the poor dude’s misery there, lol. 

ashuriphoenix replied to your post “The mysterious smoke monster”

Weird. You could always try to reset the object in DebugEnabler. :/ May or may not help, and may or may not kick the sims using it off, so wait until they're done. xD

I did try after I saw your comment, no dice! Thank you though, such a quirky glitch, had it forever. 

[theleftoverurl]

ARE ANGRY WORDS TO BE WRITTEN IN CAPS LOCK?

I AM NOT ONE TO FIGHT WITH PEOPLE, BUT YESTERDAY THINGS CAME TO A HEAD WITH MY GRANDMA AND SHE HAS IGNORED ME OR MADE SNIDE JADED COMMENTS ABOUT ME ALL DAY EVER SINCE – IT’S NOW NIGHT-TIME AND SHE HAS ONLY JUST STARTED TO COOL DOWN – AND WARM HER TONE TOWARDS ME.

YESTERDAY WAS A TERRIBLY DULL DAY TO FOLLOW A STRING OF DULL DAYS, WHICH IS ALMOST ENTIRELY MY FAULT FOR NOT BOTHERING TO TRY AND CATCH UP WITH PEOPLE AND ENTERTAIN MYSELF, AND I THINK THAT THIS COMBINATION OF FEELING COOPED UP AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH AH MA SULKING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY, PLUS MY MUM’S DISDAIN TOWARDS HER LED UP TO OUR FIGHT.

I WOKE UP LATE (ALMOST PURPOSELY BECAUSE I COULD HEAR AH MA ON THE PHONE BITCHING AND LYING ABOUT ME AND ASKING FOR FAVOURS ON THE PHONE TO HER WEIRDO FRIENDS GRANT THE PRIEST AND LEONARD AND MARLENE), WAITED FOR AH MA TO BE RATTLING AROUND OUTSIDE SWEEPING THE GARDEN AND WENT TO PLAY THE PIANO AS NO ONE WAS IN THE HOUSE. WHEN MUM CAME BACK FROM DOING THE GROCERIES, SHE SAID SHE WAS TAKING AH MA TO TORRE BECAUSE AH MA WAS GOING TO COOK TAO EW BAK AT MY SUGGESTION SO DID I WANT TO COME ALONG. I DECIDED THAT THE BUTCHERS WAS PROBABLY A BETTER PLACE TO BE THAN AT HOME BY MYSELF, SO GOT DRESSED AND TAGGED ALONG.

THE BUTCHERS WAS VERY SLOW. I FORGOT HOW SLOW IT IS GOING TO TORRE BUT IT WAS BETTER THAN WHEN I WAS A LITTLE CHILD BECAUSE I WAS ALLOWED TO WANDER AIMLESSLY AROUND THE TINY SHOP AND A LITTLE BIT OUTSIDE WHILE I WAITED. AH MA EMBARRASSED ME TERRIBLY BECAUSE WHILST MUM WAS TALKING TO THE BUTCHER’S WIFE, SHE PLUCKED PARSLEY OUT OF A JAR, SPILT IT ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND THEN ASKED THE BUTCHER IF SHE COULD HAVE IT. MUM WAS ALSO IRRITATED AT HER FOR TAKING SO LONG TO SPECIFY WHAT CUTS OF MEAT SHE WANTED, BUT I FELT LIKE THAT ANNOYANCE WAS PARTLY UNWARRANTED (MIND YOU, I DIDN’T GO WITH THE TWO OF THEM TO THE CHINESE SHOP IN THE MORNING, SO MAYBE  IT WAS AN UNFORESEEN BUILDUP ON MY PART).

THEN WE WENT TO MILLSTREAM PATISSERIE TO BUY SOME PIES FOR LUNCH AND FOR NICK’S AFTERNOON TEA. MUM WAS SICK OF AH MA PRETENDING SHE COULDN’T WALK BECAUSE OF HER BAKER’S CYST, SO DITCHED AH MA, LEAVING HER TO KIND OF LOITER AROUND OUTSIDE SOUTHSHORE SHOPPING PLAZA. WE BOUGHT THE PIES AND THEN CAME HOME.

I MADE COFFEE FOR AH MA AND MYSELF AND THEN CHOPPED THE BANH MI AND A PIE IN HALF FOR MUM AND I TO SHARE AND THEN WE ALL SORT OF SAT AT THE DINING TABLE TO WHILE AWAY THE TIME AS USUAL. AFTER A BIT WE MOVED TO THE GREEN COUCH AND AH MA BROUGHT UP THE SUBJECT OF THE BANK.

THE PROBLEM WITH AH MA WANTING TO GO TO THE BANK IS THAT SHE HAS NO WAY OF GETTING THERE BECAUSE SHE CAN’T DRIVE, AND SHE HAS NO PHONE SO SHE INSISTED ON HAVING MUM OR I WAIT WITH HER AT THE BANK. ADDITIONALLY, SHE IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HER BANKING SITUATION, OR WHAT SHE ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO AT THE BANK, SO SHE WOULD TAKE HOURS AND THERE IS NOTHING TO DO AT MENDS STREET NOW THEY ARE BUILDING THE HOUSING ACROSS THE ROAD. THEREFORE UNSURPRISINGLY, MUM AND I CATEGORICALLY REFUSED TO GO WITH AH MA TO THE BANK TO SORT OUT HER AFFAIRS.

I (STUPIDLY IN RETROSPECT) POINTED OUT THAT THE REAL ISSUE WAS AH MA DIDN’T HAVE A PHONE SO SHE SHOULD PROBABLY PROCURE A SIM CARD SO SHE COULD JUST RING US TO PICK HER UP. THE MAIN REGRET IN THIS IS THAT SHE WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO CHANGE SIMS BACK AND FORTH, NOR TELL HER (ANNOYING) FRIENDS WHAT HER NEW NUMBER IS SO SHE WOULD INSIST ON HAVING US DO IT FOR HER. MUM AND AH MA STARTED TO FIGHT AND IT GOT HEATED BECAUSE AH MA INSISTED THAT THE BANK RANG HER AND TOLD HER TO COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT GIVING A REASON WHICH IS JUST STUPID AND IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE A) WE HAVE NEVER GOTTEN CALLS FROM THE BANK ASKING FOR HER B) THE BANK DOESN’T REALLY CALL PEOPLE OUT OF THE BLUE AND JUST SAY COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT REASON AND C) THEY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING SHE WAS EVEN IN AUSTRALIA, MEANING SHE HAD TO HAVE CALLED THEM FIRST BUT SHE INSISTED THAT WASN’T SO. A LUDICROUS STORY, BUT IT REALLY HAD MUM RILED UP.

THEN I SNAPPED AT GRANDMA “YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE,” BECAUSE I WAS GETTING SICK OF THE ARGUMENT AND EQUALLY RILED, AND THEN SHE YELLED AT ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, I AM VERY STUBBORN, SHE’S NOT SCARY, AND ONCE SOMEONE BEGINS TO YELL, A PART OF ME SWITCHES OFF INTO THE UNREASONABLE. BUT TOO BAD, I’M ALSO UNAPOLOGETIC (ALL THESE BAD ASPECTS OF MY CHARACTER). ANYWAY SHE YELLED “YOU CAN’T DISRESPECT AH MA LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE NO GRATITUDE, YOU MUST APOLOGISE.” AND SHE STOOD UP AND CAME TO ME (EVIDENTLY THE LEG DIDN’T HURT SO BAD ANYMORE, HUH) AND LEANED OVER WHERE I WAS LYING ON THE COUCH AS IF SHE HAD FORGOTTEN HERSELF AND WAS GOING TO HIT ME BUT HAD CAUGHT HERSELF. I WAS MOMENTARILY WORRIED SHE WAS GOING TO HIT ME BECAUSE I COULDN’T QUICK ENOUGH CALCULATE HOW TO ACT – I KNEW I COULD HIT HER BACK HARDER AND AND IN MY ANGER MAY DO AND THAT HER SLAP WOULDN’T ACTUALLY HURT BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OBVIOUS RAMIFICATIONS OF THAT.

ANYWAY, I SNAPPED BACK “NO. I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE BECAUSE I DON’T THINK IT WAS RUDE. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE.” TO WHICH SHE REPLIED SOMETHING I DON’T RECALL BECAUSE I PROBABLY WASN’T LISTENING TO WHICH I RESPONDED “YOU NEED TO USE YOUR BRAIN” AND GESTICULATED BY TAPPING MY FINGER TO MY HEAD. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR THEN, BUT SHE DOESN’T RESPECT BEING INTELLIGENT BECAUSE HER REPLY WAS “I KNOW I NEED TO USE MY BRAIN BUT YOU CAN’T BE UNGRATEFUL TO ME,” AND THEN I WANTED TO LAUGH BECAUSE SHE HAD SO COMPLETELY DISREGARDED THE MAIN POINT THAT I JUST COULDN’T DEAL WITH IT AND THEN MUM SAID SOMETHING AND THEY FOUGHT AND AH MA STORMED OFF AND WE WENT TO PICK UP NICK.

WHEN WE GOT BACK AH MA WAS GONE AND SHE DIDN’T JOIN US FOR DINNER WHEN SHE CAME BACK FROM HER WALK AND IT WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD THAT WHEN WE TOLD DAD THE STORY HE WAS COMPLETELY UNSYMPATHETIC TOWARDS HER AND NOBODY MISSED THE LACK OF HER SOUR FACE AT THE TABLE. WHEN SHE DID COME BACK SHE MADE SOME RIDICULOUS STATEMENT ABOUT NEEDING TO GO FOR A WALK TO EASE THE PAIN IN HER HEART (RIDICULOUS DRAMA QUEEN) AND MUM ROLLED HER EYES AND SAID “OH PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE” IN THAT DISDAINFUL TONE WHICH I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE IS VERY CUTTING. AND THEN NICK WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION TO TAKE THE MICKEY OUT OF HER BY PRETENDING TO BE ON HER SIDE AND SO HE WAS TALKING TO HER AND THEN BLOWING HIS SAXOPHONE REALLY LOUDLY SO IT WAS HARD FOR HER TO TALK AND THEN SHE HAD A WHOLE SPIEL ABOUT HOW YOU MUSTN’T BE “UNGRATEFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL” PRETENDING TO TALK TO NICK BUT ACTUALLY DIRECTING HER WORDS AT ME (ON THE PHONE ON THE COUCH). I COULDN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SO I REMAINED FIXED ON MY PHONE BUT THEN MUM TOLD HER OFF FOR TRYING TO SNEAKY SAY THINGS.

THEN SHE TRIED TO GET NICK TO HELP HER TURN THE TV ON AND HE TAUGHT HER AND THEN NICK AND I WERE SITTING DOING HIS HOMEWORK AND SHE WAS SWITCHING CHANNELS. NICK WAS SURPRISED AND SAID “WELL DONE AH MA, YOU KNOW HOW TO SWITCH THE CHANNELS,” AND SHE FLARED UP AND SAID “YOU DON’T SAY THAT AH MA IS STUPID, SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO THINGS, AND YOU ARE NOT SAYING IN THIS CASE THAT AH MA IS STUPID BUT SHE IS NOT SO HELPLESS AND WITHOUT A BRAIN,” (YES SHE DOES REFER TO HERSELF IN THIRD PERSON) ONCE AGAIN DIRECTED AT ME THROUGH NICK. SHE HAD ALSO EARLIER DROPPED A HINT ABOUT NICK NOT BUYING HER A PRESENT FROM NEW YORK WHICH IS RIDICULOUS AS NICK IS 13. ANYWAY MUM GOT FIRED UP BY THIS BECAUSE I GUESS SHE WAS SICK OF THE BARBS AND JIBES AND THE FACT THAT AH MA WAS USING NICK TO GET BACK AT US AND GRABBED THE REMOTE OFF HER AND SCREAMED “THIS IS MY HOUSE AND WE DO NOT WATCH TV AND DISTRACT OTHER PEOPLE WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE DOING HOMEWORK. TURN IT OFF NOW!” IT SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS TREATING AH MA LIKE A CHILD WHICH WAS AWKWARD. ANYWAY AH MA FELL INTO A SULKY SILENCE. NICK AND I WERE LAUGHING AT THE AWKWARDNESS THE WHOLE TIME.

THEN NICK AND I INVENTED A GAME WHERE WE HAD TO PUT PENS IN HER CURLERS/ROLLERS WITHOUT HER NOTICING BUT NICK LOST ON THE FIRST TRY, BUT IMMEDIATELY HUGGED HER TELLING HER HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER AND MID-HUG TRYING MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET THE PEN INTO HER HAIR. I SUCCEEDED IN GETTING A TOOTHPICK IN, BUT IT FELL OUT BEFORE SHE NOTICED. THEN BECAUSE I STILL WASN’T SPEAKING TO HER I GAVE HER THE BIBLE BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT TO READ (NOT THAT SHE’S SMART ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY COMPREHEND THE WORDS BUT I SUPPOSE THE FAMILIAR PASSAGES ARE A COMFORT IN HARD TIMES LIKE FIGHTING WITH LEGITIMATELY ALL YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE HALF YOUR FAMILY HAS ALREADY ESTRANGED YOU FOR CALLING THE CHILDREN FAT AND LAZY AND GENERALLY BEING A NEGATIVE BURDEN) AND NICK (THE SUCK-UP LOL) WENT TO GO PRAY WITH HER.

BECAUSE I WAS BEING A BIT OF A BITCH, I CHOSE THAT TIME TO TRY COAX AMBY AND HER BEAR DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE I’M SLEEPING IN NICK’S ROOM SO AH MA CAN TAKE MINE AND AMBY HAS BEEN SLEEPING WITH US. AMBY WAS GETTING EXCITED AND BOUNCING AROUND AND HER NAILS WERE CLICKING ON THE FLOORS AS SHE DID SO DURING THE PRAYER BUT I DIDN’T CARE. ANYWAY THEN I SAT QUIETLY ON THE STAIRS AND LISTENED TO AH MA AND NICK PRAY. NICK HAS NEVER PRAYED BEFORE SO HE WAS HILARIOUS – HE FORGOT TO PUT AMBY AND HIS FRIENDS DOGS IN THE PRAYER SO HE HAD TO DO IT AGAIN, AND THEN HE ENDED IT WITH “CHEERS GOD.” I THINK IT WAS BRILLIANT – STILL FROM THE HEART AND A MUCH CHEERIER PRAYER THAN AH MA’S DREARY BEGGARING.

THEN AH MA SAID SOMETHING SAPPY AND RIDICULOUS ABOUT HOW JESUS WAS WITHIN MY COMPLETELY UNRELIGIOUS BROTHER AND HOW HE HAD SENT NICK TO CHEER HER UP AND NICK LAPPED IT UP LIKE A GOOD SUCK UP WHICH I TEASED HIM FOR AFTERWARDS. THEN HE TACKLED ME TO TRY HUG ME SO I SAT ON HIM AND PRETENDED I WAS GOING TO SPIT ON HIM IN FUN AND HE CRIED “JESUS HELP ME” IN MOCKERY AND AMBY WAS EXCITED COS WE WERE, SO STARTED BITING HIS HEAD. THEN WHEN MUM CAME IN TO SEND US TO BED HE SAID “THE INDIAN MAN WITH THE STICK DIDN’T COME, SO JESUS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT REAL, MUM,” ALLUDING TO A STORY AH MA TOLD US ABOUT A DOG WHICH ATTACKED HER AND WHEN SHE CRIED JESUS CHRIST HELP ME AN INDIAN MAN CAME WITH A STICK TO CHASE THE GOD AWAY AND WE ALL LAUGHED.

ANYWAY IT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST DRAMATIC (HOPEFULLY) DRAMA-WISE DAY YESTERDAY IT WILL EVER BE AND TODAY AH MA IS BEING EVEN MORE (IF POSSIBLE) SULKY AND NEGATIVE AND GAVE ME A LECTURE ON BEING YOUNG THAT’S WHY I SPEAK THAT WAY TO HER AND STILL MAKING SNIDE COMMENTS TO TRY AND UNBALANCE ME BECAUSE SHE’S UNHAPPY I’VE STILL REFUSED TO SAY SORRY. IT’S HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE MADE ME TAKE A PICTURE WITH JUST NICK TO REMEMBER THE OCCASION LOL AND THEN SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH SAM OUR COUSIN, MADE IT POINTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND THAT SAM IS A VERY GOOD SISTER AS IF I WASN’T. IT’S A SHAME I FIND IT ALL SO PATHETIC REALLY THAT IT HAS NO EFFECT. SHE WENT OUT WITH GRANT HER PRIEST BOYFRIEND WHO IS 41 AND THEREFORE MUST BE A COMPLETE AND UTTER WEIRDO TO RING HER AND TAKE HER OUT. GRANT TOOK HER TO THE BANK (YAWN). ANYWAY THANK GOODNESS I LEAVE FOR SYDNEY ON SUNDAY BECAUSE I CAN’T REALLY SEE HER VISIT IMPROVING OUR RELATIONSHIP ANY. THAT’S MY RECAP OF THE DAY ANYWAY, MORE A DRAMATIC RANT THAN ANY PROPER RECAP, BUT – IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. ‘TILL THE NEXT ENTRY!