#but that doesn't mean someone might not find it hurtful

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Can I get yandere toby, jeff and ej separately coming home and seeing their s/o hurt? They got hurt bc of someone else or they had an accident it's up to you!

I do think it's a lil amusing to me that the three creeps you chose are the three in my Yan AU that intentionally hurt their Darlings the most :p

CW for direct mentions of previous physical abuse from the boys.

Toby:

You're surprised, really, at how upset he is that you got hurt. The same man who has broken your ankles more times than you can count, who takes intimate pleasure in biting you, forcing you to bleed and scream from the force of his teeth, the man who thrives on bringing you pain because, at the very least, if you're in pain it means you're feeling something because of him, even if it's not love. Despite that, he stands before you, choked up on sobs as you stare at him in confusion, your hand on your head where blood seeps freely. You'd fallen, as it's hard to navigate on damaged ankles, and slammed your head onto the corner of the counter. You luckily didn't suffer a concussion, and were just unable to get to the bathroom to clean up, before Toby stumbled in and started screaming and sobbing, falling to his knees in front of you with his hands constantly wiping his tears. He pulls you into his arms with a gentleness you're not used to, and lifts you, carrying you to the bathroom. He never stops crying, not when he's cleaning the wound, not when he's bandaging you, not when he's locking you back inside the very room he'd just finally permitted you some freedom from. He yells at you it's for your protection, that he can't allow you to get hurt anymore, that he could have lost you. It's hard to take him seriously with the dramatics of his tears and his history of pain, but the sight of you being harmed by something natural, something unintentional, is one of the scariest things he can feel. He'll just have to keep you chained up again, that way he knows you'll be kept completely safe for him, so he can take even better care of you. He cuddles you close to his chest as you lay there, staring off into space, peace, and serenity finding him as you are overwhelmed by the fear that one day, if you fall again, he might get the idea to permanently take away your ability to walk, so it can never happen again.

Jeff:

For once, Jeff doesn't know what to feel. He's always feeling something around you, whether it be from his anger issues, his obsessive "love" for you, or his desire to claim you and make you only his, but as he stands before you, taking deep breaths, staring down at you where you sit before him, new bruises all over one side of your body. Bruises he doesn't recall leaving, as he always remembers the ones he gives you, bruises that are clearly fresh. You can't even look at him, terrified of him either screaming at you and giving you a few more of those bruises, or waiting for him to just simply leave you there and walk away, but he doesn't. He just stands, his twisted mind unsure of what conclusion to come to. He eventually asks you, in a gruffly choked up voice, what the hell happened. Your body is always so weak, so tired in this home, and you'd slipped going down the stairs, your body slamming into it and leaving a trail of bruises from your face to your legs. They were raw and sore, and he could tell that from just looking at them. His eyebrows quirked in pity instead of rage, and you swallowed to yourself, willing to barter if you could take advantage of that, and so you weakly held up your arms with less energy than you actually have, and begged him to hold you, to comfort you. Tugging at his heartstrings, pressing the button in his mind that softened him, could often work in your favor in this hell you live in, and today it worked. He picked you up gently, laying on the couch and holding you close, pressing kisses to your face as he apologized, and promised to take care of you. You didn't know how long this would last until the next bruises that would come from him would end up on your body, so you planned to take advantage of this while it lasted, curling up on top of him and finally getting some sleep. He holds you gently, affectionately nuzzling into you, content in his delusion that you must finally be falling for and trusting in him.

EJ:

The second he enters the house where he keeps you, the first thing he notices is the overwhelming smell of blood, blood he's quite familiar with tasting, and should be the only one causing. He tracks you down easily in the house, finding you huddled in one of the bathrooms as you attempt to clean yourself up. The second you hear him coming, the scent of blood becomes mingled with the smell of fear, fear from you that he's going to be angry, that he's going to be extremely upset with you. Contrary to that belief, he bends down and gently grasps your hand that's still bleeding, where you were attempting fast and shoddy work at bandaging it. Your hand trembles in his grasp and he sighs, only asking you what happened, and he warns that you should tell the truth, and so you do. You were simply trying to put up the dishes, and you'd dropped a glass plate, shattering it and cutting your hand quite badly on it trying to clean up. He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head, and he tells you to be more careful next time and use a broom instead of your hands. He's eerily calm, usually getting more fired up when you hurt yourself, but as he disinfects and bandages your cuts (in the same methodical way he does after causing bites and cuts to you himself) he's completely quiet. He just doesn't want you to know his calmness is because he's so panicked on the inside, scared that you had been so injured he might have lost you. One might find that sentiment romantic, but it's not as romantic when someone is just scared they've lost their dinner. His dinner and his eternal prisoner to what he claims is his "affection" and "love", the twisted, painful affection he forces on you by biting into your flesh, by devouring your body and soul with every day you were made to spend trapped in here with him. You barely noticed when he lifted you into his arms, carrying you to bed and tucking you in, your mind wondering just what it was that made you deserve this eternal hell.

[deadsnakey]

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋..𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄'𝐒.

𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐘!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐱 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐄

—> Being childhood best friends with both Mattheo and Theodore was an adventure on it's own. Although, what if they start acting more possessive and protective towards you once they develop feelings for you?

Thank you for requesting @slutsluvpaola - your ask here!💗

—> Childhood best friends to lovers trope, very fluffy, maybe a little suggestive, none toxic possessive behaviour & jealousy.

—> When you guys were kids, they were protective of you.

—> If anybody was messing with you or hurting you, they'd do something about it asap like it was on sight and they always left that person scared shitless to even go near you.

—> To the point where ppl just stopped fucking w u like they didn't have the balls to even try.

—> Cool now y'all are in Hogwarts and as they get older, they seem to be more handsy and possessive over you.

—> I mean you weren't complaining all that much. although, it would get annoying sometimes when you just wanted some space or to talk to someone or do something without them breathing down your damn neck.

—> But in third year you started getting feelings for mattheo, then Theodore a month later and you were so confused.

—> You kept the act up, just like they did, but eventually it got harder to pretend in fifth year.

—> When they were always hands on with you - hand on your thigh, holding your hand each, always sitting next to you every chance they got, pulling you into their laps randomly as they wrap their arms around your waist and nuzzle their faces in the crook of your neck.

—> Yeah, you were a goner.

—> The boys probably started falling for each other in the end of fourth year, so in fifth when they started liking you as well they too, were extremely confused .

—> Mattheo was bad especially because he's bad with his own emotions.

—> They will be at every party you're attending too, trust.

—> even if one can't make it and it's js Matty going w you or just Theo, one of them had to be with you.

—> It doesn't matter if you're in the same house or not, better marking on you tbh.

—> Mattheo hands on your waist behind you, Theodore in front of you holding one of your hands to guide you.

"c'mon, sweet girl, let's get some drinks at the bar." Mattheo said, letting Theodore lead the way. Mattheo got a cup, filled it with the drink you wanted before handing it to you. "Here, princess." Then repeating for Theodore and then himself. Satisfied, they go and find the rest of your friends; seemingly in the corner where the seats are, talking.

"look who finally came! The love birds of the group." Lorenzo snickered. "How about you go see if you can get into that girls pants, you know, the one you're practically eye fucking." Mattheo rolled his eyes as he sneered back. "I just might, mate."

You go to sit down when you feel hands clamp down on your hips from behind you, pulling you down with enough force to not hurt you. You look behind yourself, seeing Theo with a smirk pulling on his lips. You let him pull you into his lap.

Mattheo lights a cigarette and inhales deeply before exhaling. He silently offers it to Theodore as he blows the smoke out; Theo leaning in and inhaling the smoke, slightly touching Matty's lips as they make eye contact. Mattheo slithers his hand onto your thigh, you feel the warmth of his hand spread through your skin as you feel the few cold rings he has on mixing with the warmth.

He squeezes your thigh almost the same time Theo squeezes your waist, "you okay, pretty girl? Need anything?" You look at mattheo on your right, "no, I'm okay Matty. You?", "I'm okay. Now that I have you two here with me." He mumbles the last few parts of his sentence, a slight smile appearing onto his lips. Although, he knows you two still heard him.

—> sometimes their clinginess gets so bad where they will not let you get up for breakfast. Good luck convincing them to not miss all your classes as well lol.

—> they love cuddling you and each other but they'd never admit that.

—> they only cuddle each other if you're unavailable or not at school (holiday n stuff).

—> Tiny kisses to the back of your neck, forehead, nose and hand. It's a good excuse to kiss you and they love when you kiss them, too

—> Matty prefers his cheek or forehead kissed, while Theodore his neck, jaw or cheek.

—> tho it'd be better on the lips.

—> they go to the bathroom w you too.

—> they don't care it's the woman's bathroom, they will be guarding your stall!!!!💗💗💗 They can never be too sure.

Reblogs, likes & comments are much appreciated!🫶🏻

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for September 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ I long for that feeling to not feel at all by @ineverateakiwi [NR, 2k, Louis/Harry]

When he is not around and Harry needs to feel more grounded, steady on his own feet, he thinks of Louis. It's probably not healthy to rely on someone this heavily, but it's better than nothing. It's what he has right now. And, right now, it's working. Is thinking about that feeling, the feeling of being real, being alive, that he whispers – without thinking – those two words. — "Hurt me."

Harry needs to feel something, even if it's pain. Louis gives what he needs.

＊ where the real you is the superstar by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove [T, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Louis has lived in his tiny beachfront town his whole life, and doesn't know if he'll ever leave. Harry is constantly moving around, but when he meets Louis, he can't help wishing this could be the place he might stay. Just because the summer is temporary doesn't mean it's not worthwhile.

＊ Just a Little Taste, Babe by @allwaswell16 [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Harry’s been pining over Louis Tomlinson since their sixth form days. Now, he’s backstage at Louis’ concert and trying not to embarrass himself.

＊ make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face by localopa / @voulezloux [E, 24k, Harry/Louis]

things could be worse. harry doesn’t know what could be worse than being forced to do a tell-all interview with his ex friends with benefits that he still harbors feelings for, the only person he could ever see a future with, the person who truly hates him so much, he can’t help but hate him right back. but surely, worse things have happened at sea, right?

＊ Necessities of Nesting by @haztobegood [G, 5k, Louis/Harry]

“I know this is a sensitive topic and you probably don’t want to talk about your nest with me. But I have a friend that teaches nesting classes. Maybe they could help.”

“So you agree: my nest sucks and I’m a shit omega.”

＊ A Tight Space by haztobegood [T, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Niall pushes the bedroom door open. A huge mass of brown fur bolts between his legs. Louis startles with a hand to his chest.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Oh, that’s the cat. I told you Liam found a stray a few days ago. That’s him.”

“Are you sure that’s a cat?”

＊ The Grundy County Corn Maze Incident by haztobegood [T, 2k, Niall/Greg James]

Niall was getting tired and a bit worried about actually getting out of the corn maze. He had lost track of time and the fun was wearing off. Then, he heard someone shout for help. Part 3 of Grundy County Incidents

＊ Special Instructions by haztobegood [T, 2k, Zayn/Louis]

He didn’t mean for the drawings to become a thing. But they have. Every Tuesday night around eight o’clock, a take out order from Louis T. appears. Each order has new special instructions, requesting some change to the carefully curated dishes that Zayn has concocted. And every Tuesday night, Zayn doodles a response to those special instructions.

＊ A Wrench and a Rodent by haztobegood [T, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Louis just wants to study astrophysics, do some research, and graduate from Casper University. Fate throws a wrench in his plans.

＊ Language Of A Petal by @bittersweetsin [E, 15k, Harry/Louis]

“Wait, you're reading Divin-“

“-Divined Souls? Yup,” Harry finishes for him.

Starving off a grin, Louis says, “Have you actually been stalking me all this time and just lied about not knowing me?”

“Guess we’ll never know.”

or Louis is a librarian, and Harry comes in all the time to return books he’s finished reading. Every time Louis opens the book to check for any damages, there’s always a flower hidden in between one of the pages, specifically on a paragraph that has a deep meaning.

＊ Come and See My Dreams by @lululawrence [NR, 3k, Louis/Harry]

In a world where alphas traditionally built nests as part of the courting rituals for their omegas and rarely outside of that, Louis felt drawn to nest for his best friend from the time he was young.

Now, it was finally time to present the nest to Harry.

＊ a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation by lululawrence [NR, 8k, Louis/Oscar Isaac/Pedro Pascal]

“I swear they’re secretly dating or maybe even married at this point and are just trying to see how long they can keep it under wraps or something. Not quite sure what the deal is, honestly, but they swear up and down that they’re just friends whenever anyone asks.”

Louis chuckled. “Too bad. I’d have happily gone after either one of them, honestly.”

“Or both,” Calvin said, waggling his eyebrows.

Or the five times Louis, Pedro, and Oscar have incredible chemistry and the one time they finally admit to the feelings.

＊ 'Cause What I Want Came True by lululawrence [NR, 1k, Louis/Diego Luna]

Diego had been… unexpected. From the moment that Louis had walked into the coffee shop and seen him sitting there, he was surprised. He’d known Diego was attractive, the few photos he had shared on the dating app had made that clear, but there was something about seeing him in person that made him feel… more.

＊ (Whoops) Here We Go Again by lululawrence [NR, 4k, Louis/Oscar Isaac]

“I’ve got you,” Oscar said as he confidently hit the eight for Louis.

Nodding his thanks as he shyly tucked himself into the corner so the others who needed to could exit easily on their own floors, then Louis sucked his lips into his mouth in an attempt to cover his smile.

It didn’t mean anything, because of course it didn’t. They’d shared an elevator a few mornings a week for months now, but still. He remembered.

Or the one where Louis and Oscar have been seeing each other regularly on the elevator at work for almost nine months. Maybe it’s time for something to finally happen between them.

＊ Duck Crossing by lululawrence [NR, 2k, Louis/Diego Luna]

“So, what exactly are we doing?”

Diego’s brows rose in surprise at the same time Louis started hearing what sounded like quacking. “You don’t know?”

Louis scrunched his nose a bit and looked over towards where the quacking seemed to be getting louder. “I don’t. My sister sent me to the discord without explaining what was so special about the town’s ducks, and when I went to ask about it, I somehow got roped into helping you here tonight instead, so…”

Diego laughed before he looked up and down the road, where several cards were still making their way around. “This is going to be fun for you, then.”

＊ Curiosity by @hellolovers13 [G, 934 words, Louis/Harry]

Fae Harry lets curiosity get the best of him.

Human Louis is intrigued.

＊ Sweetest Poison (series) by @hellolovers13 [E, 7k, Harry/Louis]

It takes all his willpower to keep Harry from devouring it all now. Consume the raw energy that flows through it. Let it become part of him. Let it fuel and rejuvenate him.

But it’s too soon.

or Nothing like starting the day with a little bloodshed.

And coffee.

The barista is cute, too.

or Witch Harry finally gets rid of his latest boy toy. Who will be next?

＊ The Nest by Blue_Green28 / @bluegreen28fics [T, 5k, Harry/Louis]

Harry is a very particular omega who doesn't like to have items of Louis' in his nest until he secretly starts to steal them for it. or, 5 times one of Louis' personal items is missing and 1 time he finally finds them. (5+1 fic for Week 1 of Wordplay Challenge, Prompt: "Nest")

＊ Perfect Now by Blue_Green28 [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

Timestamp for "We Are World Class" Harry gets frustrated because he wants to wear his wedding suit to the Oscars. After his second pregnancy the trousers don't fit anymore. Louis tries to reassure him that he still looks beautiful. Part 2 of World Class Universe

＊ You make me strong by Blue_Green28 [T, 3k, Harry/Louis]

While Louis is carrying the happiness of Great Britain on his shoulders during the European Championships finale, Harry is carrying something else. (Week 3 of Wordplay Challenge 2024, Prompt: Carry // Time stamp for "We Are World Class", can be read without knowing it) Part 3 of World Class Universe

＊ Home by Blue_Green28 [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Louis comes home after his festival tour.

＊ Kiwi - It's your business! by Blue_Green28 [E, 22k, Harry/Louis]

When ex-boybander Louis Tomlinson asks newcomer Harry Styles to be his support act for the next leg of his tour, he has no idea that he will gain more than just a support act. or, the one with the banter on tour

＊ Nest by @kingsofeverything [G, 100 words, Harry/Louis]

Harry wakes up first.

＊ Tight by kingsofeverything [NR, 100 words, Louis/Harry]

Louis comes home early.

＊ Carry by kingsofeverything [NR, 100 words, Harry/Louis]

Baby bump.

＊ Press by kingsofeverything [E, 100 words, Louis/Harry]

Louis asks for it.

＊ now that we're alone (say you hate me) by 28goldensfics / @28goldens [E, 18k, Harry/Louis]

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are Co-Project Managers, constantly bickering at work, always finding themselves at odds, and competing to be the best. When a scheduling mishap with their company’s timeshare forces them to share a summer vacation, they're less than thrilled. But, as they navigate their time together, they realize that their animosity might be masking something a bit deeper than the hate.

＊ my sun, my everything by 28goldensfics / @28goldens [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]

based on the top harry fic fest prompt:

41 - Louis has been making a lot of self-deprecating jokes lately and Harry is sick of it. Ensue Harry worshiping Louis’ body like it’s his favorite god.

“You’re like a god,” Harry said softly, his voice reverent and full of wonder as he pressed a chaste kiss to the peak of Louis’ cheek which caused his eyes to shut gently. “Every part of you is so divine.”

Louis' eyes fluttered open, a mix of surprise and coyness in his gaze. “You think so?”

Harry nodded with absolute sureness, his hands moving slowly to undress Louis. He strategically unbuttoned Louis' shirt, his touch lingering beneath the fabric as if to savor each exposed inch of skin he revealed.

“Your body is a fucking masterpiece,” Harry murmured, his breath warm as he leaned to press a kiss against Louis’ bare chest. “Every curve, every line—it’s all so perfect.”

＊ Do You Know Who You Are? by @eulogiseme [M, 145k+, wip, Harry/Louis]

Doncaster was meant to be a fresh start for Harry, a chance to let go of his past and start a new life. But it doesn’t feel like it when Harry finds himself tormented by the arrival of Louis Tomlinson. Cocky, confident, and a huge flirt, Louis can’t keep away from Harry no matter what Harry says.

Upon his return, Louis is occupied with starting his business with Zayn and dealing with his family’s illegal business. Things start to get messy when Louis is conned by a dealer, and also can’t seem to get a certain pair of green eyes and dimples out of his head.

The one where Louis wants Harry, and Harry doesn’t know what he wants, or who he is. Though, he can take a good chance and guess that perhaps wanting Louis might just cost him everything.

＊ something told me it was you by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 1k, Zayn/Louis]

Are you ready, 'cause I'm ready to let go Never thought that I'd be ready again

＊ 'til I let go of this moment by we_are_the_same [M, 3k, Zayn/Liam]

Zayn and his terrible horrible no good Olympics. Where he wins gold and Liam’s heart.

Featuring Liam’s unfortunate big penis

＊ and in those rare moments by we_are_the_same [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]

London, May 23rd, 2025

Interview with Harry Styles, popstar, bisexual icon and philanthropist, by Louis W. Tomlinson.

＊ circling the truth by we_are_the_same [T, 3k, Liam/Louis]

Liam Payne has met his soulmate.

He knows he has, because he woke up with his power this morning.

Problem one: he has no idea who his soulmate is. He saw a ton of people last night, because it was the introduction party for the uni he is now attending. He’d talked to at least a dozen people, and he’s unsure on what counts as ‘meeting’ your soulmate, because it might just be someone he’d bumped into on his way to the loo.

Problem two: his power seems to be that he can read minds.

＊ even if it's strange, it's our love by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [G, 520 words, Zayn/Louis]

Zayn makes a hedgehog friend on his new farm and it changes his life in completely unexpected ways.

＊ I drink the honey inside your hive by yeah_alright [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Louis comes home frustrated and riled up in the way that only taking exactly what he needs from Harry can fix.

＊ Help me out of a jam? by yeah_alright [M, 2k, Harry/Louis]

Harry's tightened a jar beyond what he can open. He asks Louis for help, because Louis is always more than obliging.

＊ Carry the One by yeah_alright [T, 100 words, Louis/Harry]

Five times Louis carries her best friend and one time Harry carries the love of her life.

＊ Keep You Sweet in My Memory by yeah_alright [M, 6k, Zayn/Harry]

Of course Harry is the type to have a leather bound journal filled with pressed flowers. Zayn stops at one so delicate looking that he can’t believe it withstood the pressing process. It’s simple – a single layer of small, white petals with just a bit of yellow in the center – but Zayn can’t help but stare. His eyes rove over the subtle details frozen in time, somehow maintaining their softness despite having been crushed into two dimensions, and he feels almost hypnotized. He’s not aware of his hand moving until two fingers brush over the petals.

An image so vivid and sudden that his eyes snap shut in shock floods his mind and he pulls his hand back as though it’s been burned. The second his fingers leave the page, the image is gone, too fleeting for his memory to capture it.

“What the fuck?”

Zayn's only just getting to know Harry when he discovers he's able to store memories of people he loves in pressed flowers. At least that's what Harry tells him. Zayn has a choice: run away or accept Harry's invitation to learn more.

Harry's magic may be too powerful to resist.

＊ this time I'm willing to dance on the wire by yeah_alright [E, 3k, Harry/Louis]

A few days after leaving her shitty boyfriend, Harry goes back with Louis and their friends to collect the rest of her things. When her ex comes home to find them there, Niall, Zayn and Liam keep him away while Louis makes it known how much better off Harry is with her. Part 3 of Sin Wagon AU

＊ Deemed and Delivered a Crime by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [E, 35k, Louis/Harry]

Harry keeps his voice low and calm. “I need you to listen very closely because I’m only going to say this once.”

When he’s only greeted with silence on the other end, Harry continues.

“For every hair that is harmed on Louis Tomlinson’s head, I am going to break one of your bones. And then when you’re reduced to a pathetic little pile on the floor, my men and I are going to kick around your limp carcass in my garden for footie practice. Do you understand?”

There’s a few more beats of silence, before the voice on the other line answers. Still sounding calm and unbothered by Harry’s creative threat.

“I’m glad you received our message Mr. Styles. Are you ready to settle on a suitable sum for Mr. Tomlinson’s release?”

(Or the one where Harry is the most feared mob boss in London. Louis is his ex-husband who left that violent life two years ago to teach Uni. His peace is shattered when he’s kidnapped by Harry’s rivals).

＊ The Road So Far (series) by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt [G, 12k, Harry/Louis]

Harry Styles, an Angel Of The Lord, is sent on a mission to save hunter Louis Tomlinson from the deepest pits of Hell in order for him to fulfill Heaven's plan.

＊ hold all our secrets (series) by @justanothershadeofblue [E, 9k, ot5]

One Direction was unusual as a band with two betas in with the expected omega popstars, but they achieved global stardom in spite of it, traveling the world as a five-part sensation until beta Zayn left and the rest of the band went on hiatus shortly after.

Years later, they're all living their separate lives, pursuing separate careers to varying levels of success, until a headline breaks: One Direction had a secret alpha all along.

＊ Buns of a Feather (series) by @tommokat [T, 3k, Louis/Harry]

Bird hybrid Harry has been with his boyfriend, rabbit hybrid Louis, for a while. They're about to take a big step in their relationship and Harry needs to show Louis just how serious he is about him.

＊ I've Got What You're Craving (For Your Misbehaving) by tommokat [E, 2k, Harry/Louis]

"You've been so patient, haven't you, angel?"

"Yes, Mommy."

Sub Louis gets treated by Domme Harry and the age old question of why women go to the bathroom together finally gets answered.

＊ Stand on Holy Ground (series) by @wishingforloushair [E, 17k, Louis/Harry]

Priest Harry eats Louis out and then fucks him on the altar in the Sanctuary of the Church

“Father Styles?” a voice behind him comes, making him jump slightly. He’s used to people interrupting him. After all, that’s why he leaves the large wooden doors propped open. The church was a sanctuary for everyone. Who was he to stop God’s children seeking out the truth? He closes his book, suddenly aware of how much his knees ache from the flagstone floor as he gets back to his feet, turning around slowly. Standing in the centre of the aisle is Louis. Louis, who comes to confess all his sins to Harry, every day on his knees, little begs of forgiveness tumbling from his lips. Louis, whose ridges and bumps Harry feels under his fingertips almost as often as he feels the ridges and bumps of the Word. “Hello, Louis,” he smiles, placing his Bible on the altar next to the Communion chalice. “Come to confess?” He watches carefully as Louis’ eyes darken a little, his lips parting. “Yes, Father.” It’s part of their charade now, a dance that he knows well. “Why don’t you go close the door then? I think you and I, and God, need some alone time, don’t you?”

- Podfics -

＊ [Podfic] White Stripes by @allwaswell16 read by Panda_Podfics / @pandapodfics [E, Louis/Harry]

Harry’s roommate is gorgeous, kind, generous, and basically everything Harry has ever wanted in another alpha. The only problem is that he isn’t even sure that his alpha roommate is into other alphas. In an effort to finally get over him, he lets Niall set him up on a blind date.

- Fic Fests -

＊ Wordplay Fic Challenge / @wordplayfics

Prompt 1: Nest Prompt 2: Tight Prompt 3: Carry Prompt 4: Press Prompt 5: Interference

[rekino2114]

Cute things the drdt girls do for you

A/n:episode 15 was pretty great, I might post my full thoughts on it and chapter 2 as a whole next week when it ends maybe

Teruko tawaki

Follows the sidewalk rule

The sidewalk rule says that when two people are walking on the sidewalk the one who is stronger and/or can take a hit better is the one who walks near the traffic, and teruko follows it...only with you

She has actually been hit by cars before because of her luck (you were very concerned when she randomly dropped that in the middle of a conversation) so protecting you from that is her main priority

She kinda does it subconsciously, gently gripping your wrist and guiding you on the right side, when you ask her why she did that she just blushes and blurts out "I don't want you to get hit by a car"

She actually did get hit when she was with you once but you were unharmed while teruko had to go to the hospital

"I'm so so sorry teru, I should have been more careful"

"Don't worry, at least you're ok, plus this isn't the worst accident that ever happened to me"

"........You're literally covered in bandages and casts"

"Yeah and?"

You start to think her luck actually works because of how she can survive stuff like that

Min jeung

Writes love letters

Min spends a lot of her time writing, be it papers, notes or her schedule. Writing is a big part of her day-to-day life, but what she loves writing the most is definitely love letters for you

Her grammar and handwriting are impeccable, even her punctuation is on point. The only way you can tell that it's a love letter and not an English essay is because of the heart drawn at the bottom

There doesn't have to be a specific reason for her to write you a letter sometimes she just feels like doing it, and you love receiving them,they're a written testament of her love for you

Sometimes they're in really cute envelopes with stamps and everything. she loves seeing your reaction to reading them

"Hello y/n, I have written this to inform you that unfortunately, I won't be able to hang out with you today as I have an important test, feel free to come to my dorm at around 7 pm though, I should have finished by then, I know I could have texted you this but a letter is more romantic don't you think?

Love you

Min jeung" ♡

P.s.:If you see Charles, do you mind telling him thanks for helping me in chemistry? He was a great help

P.p.s.:Yes, don't worry, I'll remember to take breaks, I know how you get if I don't

Arei nageishi

beats up people for you

Ok, it's more than that. It's more how she treats you compared to other people. She's way nicer to you compared to everyone else. Sure, she still teases, throws light insults at you, but you know she doesn't actually mean it...unlike with everyone else (except eden)

She's more than ok with people insulting her. She's used to it by now, and she can easily verbally abuse the person until they cry, but when someone insults you then they truly fucked up

She'll be smiling and giggling with you while the unconscious and bloody body of the person who was unfortunate or stupid enough to say anything negative about you is near her .....you didn't even know she was that strong but now you're kinda scared of her even if you know she'd never hurt you

She also kinda does it to receive compliments and praise for you, she expects you to be flattered and in awe at what she did for you, which you are, but you're also too worried about her to really compliment her

"Not everyone likes you, you're not y/n"

"Not everyone likes y/n"

"......names"

"......What?"

"Give me names bitch, I'll shut their mouth for good when I find them"

Hu jing

Makes you packed lunches

Listen, we all know how much of a mom this girl is. She practically adopted nico. and as her partner, you're definitely on the receiving end of her motherly tendencies

She scolds you when you don't clean your dorm,constantly sends you texts to make sure you're ok, and always checks during the day to make sure you've eaten enough and the best way to assure that is making you lunch herself

Everything always tastes great and incredibly fresh (definitely way better than what the school gives you), but you still feel kinda embarrassed. Even when you try to reject it, she'll try to feed you to make sure you eat. She also definitely wipes your mouth when you're finished

She also writes you a cute note saying things like "hope you have a great day, remember to stay hydrated and study hard" which......doesn't make that much sense since you always eat together in the cafeteria and she's literally standing near you as you read the note but it's so adorable you don't carea

"Come on Darling, you need to eat, don't you like what I made for you?"

"N-no it's not that hu, it's......embarrassing"

"Y/n l/n if you don't eat that, I'll make you....even if it's embarrassing, you still need to eat enough"

"......o-ok"

".....you too huh?"

"Hi nico.......yeah"

J rosales

Gives you her hoodie

Most of her classmates have seen j without her hoodie only on rare occasions, unlike you who have seen her like that multiple times

It's often when it's cold outside, j notices and takes off her hoodie to give it to you, you're very surprised and ask her if it's OK since she'll be cold too then but she just dismisses it and says that you're more important

If you compliment her on how pretty and cool she looks without it on, especially how beautiful her hair looks (I genuinely really love her hair, it looks so cool), she'll blush a lot and maybe ask for her hoodie back so she can hide her face in it (like she does in her sprite)

She'll actually start to wear her hood down more after you compliment her hair enough, because she secretly wants you to do it more but is too embarrassed to ask

"You sure about this j? Won't you get cold?"

"Nah, it's fine, if it really gets cold, I'll just put another one on"

"Cool, thanks so much babe"

"You're welcome"

".....did i mention your hair is pretty?"

"*blushes* y-yeah this is like the fifth time you said it"

"Sorry I can't help it if it's true"

Veronika grebenshchikova

Gifts you plushies

......kinda, it's more accurate to say she gifts you what once were plushies. Some have their heads ripped off, others are covered in blood with one of their eyes missing, it's creepy but sweet...in a Veronika way

Sometimes, she doesn't even give you the plushies directly. They just..... appear on your bed, the only way you can tell Veronika was the one to leave them is because only she would and could do something like this.....you still have no idea how she gets in your dorm but are too afraid to ask

She also gives you plushie and merchandise of every horror movie you can think of. One time she gave you a very haunted looking doll, like the one from Annabelle, and you could have sworn you saw it move at night

When you have movie night at your dorm (which happens very often), Veronika likes to snuggle with both you and all the plushies in your bed as you do the same, it's actually really comfortable

"*sigh* I hate group projects"

"Come on, teruko, I'm sure we'll get it done fast"

"Whatev-.......WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Oh those are the plushies Veronika gives me, aren't they cute?"

"1;NO THEY AREN'T 2: that's not what i meant.....WHY THE HELL IS VERONIKA IN YOUR ROOM?"

"Oh hi vero"

"HI darling, I just wanted to put this new plushie I got you in here"

".......the door was locked, y/n just opened it, how did you get here?"

"Oh yeah she does that, I don't know either"

"*giggle*"

"......You two are deranged"

Rose lacroix

Remembers everything about you

Ok, she remembers everything, period, but that's especially true for you. Any date that is important to you, like a birthday or a special event (like your first kiss) instantly becomes important to her too the moment you mention it, and she'll most likely give you gifts for them

Any food you like and dislike as well as any possible allergies you have are always on her mind when you're eating together, she could even order for you at restaurants if you want, she knows your tastes perfectly after all

Any gifts she gives you always is something you like, no matter if you just mentioned it once to her she remembered and got it for you, there doesn't even need to be a special date for it, sometimes she just feels like it and gifts you something

Unlike basically everything else, your information, likes, and dislikes are actually things she wants to remember and willingly keeps them in her mind. She loves you, so all of this is extremely important information to her

"Hey y/n, do you like this? I just finished painting it, take it"

"Oh it looks great, but why do you want to give it to me? It's not my birthday or anything"

"Oh no, I know, but it is your mom's birthday isn't it? I wanted to give it to her so she'd think I'm a good girlfriend"

"Oh OK....yeah it is. How did you know?"

"You told me, I think it was about.....three months ago, we were talking our families and you brought that up"

"You remembered that, that's so cool"

"Eh, I guess perfect memory comes with some pros....sometimes"

[jayflying]

The Flower Husbands / Ethubs parallel (No Stranger Curses AU):

Alt Title: "Why Scott and Etho do not get along."

Scott falls in love in the last days of summer. To him, love looks like gold. Sunlight caught in golden hair. Warm wind blowing through golden leaves. Two gemstones studded in a golden ring. They make their home in a place where all the flowers of autumn bloom, the poppies and roses and marigolds. They ignore the warmongering and drama. While they can, they choose to be happy.

He is not so naïve as to believe this will be forever. Not so foolish as to believe his strength will be enough. This "game" means nothing but death for all of them. But he puts that all aside, because he wants. He wants to hope. He wants to love. Even if he knows it will break his heart.

The days grow shorter, and darker, and colder, and he is so, so scared. He should trust Jimmy to protect himself, but he doesn't. He tries to stop fearing the worst every time they are apart, but he can't. He's not proud of the alliance he strikes up to protect them both, but for the two of them he would do anything and it would be worth it.

…He buries Jimmy where the dawn's first light catches on winter's final flowers. He knew this was coming, dreaded the inevitable, but his heart still hurts. He carried on because he was fighting for more than just himself, but what now?

When he falls, he hopes that at least he can be at peace. When he wakes again, that hope is shattered. Scott thinks he might be the only one who remembers the game that came before. It doesn't matter. He'll see this one through to the end, no matter what.

Etho falls in love beneath grey skies. His love is all the colors of the forest that surrounds them. Green like the trees, like the moss, like his eyes. Brown like the dirt, like their doorstep, like the color blood dries. Loving Bdubs is easy. It feels familiar. It's not hard to imagine that maybe somewhere, before everything, they loved like this.

(Scott sees far too much of himself and Jimmy in the two of them. It leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. He knows exactly how this ends.)

Etho isn't one to frame his love in light and flowers. He frames it in the careful arrangement of quiet and noise, laughter and empty threats. They make their home a castle, white walls on a snowy mountaintop. They build up every battlement with their own bare hands, pretending, if just for a moment, that they can escape the game outside for good. Live in peace forever. Stave off the looming shadow of death.

The first time Bdubs falls to his red life, Etho is terrified. He blusters, and schemes, and fights, because it is the only way he knows to hide when his voice trembles and his hands grow unsteady. Over and over again, he claws Bdubs back from the brink. He stays up late into the night, every night, restlessly planning for every possibility. Exploiting every advantage, every person, with vicious dedication.

(Scott does not entertain his threats for even a moment. He's sure to give Etho a piece of his mind whenever he tries. "Give up on him", he all but says. "You're just prolonging the inevitable." His words are met with disdain.)

The last time Bdubs falls to his red life, their castle is torn apart, and that feels like an omen. The survivors, no matter their old allegiances, band together out of necessity, and Etho can't help but notice that Scott immediately asserts himself. He doesn't like it, but he's been wearing himself thin for months now. He's too tired to piece together quite why this alliance makes him feel uneasy.

Bdubs finds them hours later in the middle of the night, crimson-eyed and not quite himself; sinister in the way all red lives are. There's no further way around it. Etho can feel the static-buzz of magic in his chest as he offers Bdubs a life, and yet Scott stops him. "He needs to earn it", is the objection. "Have him kill someone for us," Scott whispers in his ear. He hesitates. That seems… fair. Right? A life for a life. That makes sense.

It is not until far, far too late that Etho numbly realizes what Scott has done. He never gets to bury Bdubs. He never gets to see the body. He's never quite the same again, distant and short-spoken. Cleo is the only one who seems to realize that he is so desperately angry.

(Scott does not feel bad about this. He does not regret this. He tells Cleo as much when she confronts him about it. They argue about it all the way up until the fateful battle with Joel. Scott knows he's right, though. There was only one way this was ever going to end.)

[murkystarlight]

There's a lot of dynamics. So I have dynamics, headcanons whatever really for the new order as couples or... something close(not doing any with Jesse though... Too many different ones that I got to write if I do Jesse. Srry)(or poly. Again, too many variables to write) and most of these are rare pairs ig

It's just me talking random stuff :]

Don't take them seriously

Uh... who do I start with-

Okay. Olivia and Petra (olivtra?)

I'll start with that.

Yeah, so... it's cute. I like this one quite a bit actually. I can imagine something like.. Olivia needing rescoreses on a project and Petra, without a single thought, runs out and comes back in a few hours(sometimes a day or two) with what she needs. And Petra handing them to Olivia with a proud smile on her face while Olivia also looks at her with a warm smile. But also a bit concerned cause she might be hurt. And if Petra IS hurt, Olivia would probably start tending her wounds while muttering stuff like "you idiot. I could have just gotten them from a store" and Petra just laughs it off.

They would cuddle a lot(+forehead kisses from Petra)(then Olivia chuckles and kisses her back)(oh god- what am I doing). And Petra loves playing with Olivia's hair 😌

They're very open about the relationship from the beginning. Probably starts flirting in the middle of a conversation with a whole crowd watching-

Next combo, Axel and Petra (...wait. hold on-- nvm. I can't find a ship name for this)

They're both a bit chaotic. Right? So they would do each other's interest often. Like Petra going to see Axel in Boomtown and having fun with him off on the side somewhere, or sneaking out together to go on a quick adventure or just talk. Sneaking around the griefers can get a bit difficult, but sometimes they make an appearance and just fight with/against the other griefers too. It's all in good fun.

I personally think Petra is good at cooking(and pretty much every other skill to a... an amount) but she isn't great at baking. And Axel on the other hand, great at baking. But cooking.. not as much(still good at it. Just not as good when it's compared to his baking skills). But he also likes to set the kitchen on fire sometimes so he needs someone watching over him. But Petra isn't great at watching over people(and would probably help him burn the place) so they just live off of raw meat and berries. Take out orders daily👏👏

They have a more... playful and friend-like relationship with each other rather than flirty or lovey-dovey shit. That doesn't mean they aren't lovey-dovey though. These cuties would have so much fluff when put in the right situations. I also think that Axel would hold Petra up in his arms a lot, and she really likes that since- he would probably be the only person that could do it(since she is taller than most people). Sometimes she literally crawls onto his shoulders and sticks there for hours if she doesn't have anything better to do.

Probably plays a lot of pranks together on others

Next ship! Olivia and Lukas (if you were expecting Petra again, you're WRONG.😈 This is completely random. I just picked the names randomly lol)(anyways- ship name- uh... darn it-)

They give each other book recommendations. I just think they would. Plus, Lukas sometimes helps Olivia with her redstone engineering, and since Lukas isn't as great as Olivia, she sometimes gives him small lessons about it. I gotta admit they would be so cute together 😫

Olivia also gives Lukas feedback on his writing, and Lukas insisted Olivia to try writing too. (I think Olivia would have a diary)

Lukas likes making Olivia small treats to eat while she's working. (And bring her back to reality when she gets into the zone too much)

Either they are trying to keep each other on a healthy schedule, or they both are too immersed in their work and both of them stay up to work for days without food or rest. There's no middle! But after a long time of no-rest working they would cuddle up on the couch and sleep under a comfortable blanket together 🥰🥰

Their relationship would mostly be fluff

This... fourth? one is Axel and Lukas (lukxel)

They would definitely do a lot of baking together! They would share recipes, make new ones and taste each others baked goods. Axel is more into baking pastries or cake(like.. bread-ish?), while Lukas is more into cookies or muffins/cupcakes. Goes on picnics a lot with everything they made 🌸

They have this... uh... 'tradition' where they prank each other. Sometimes things get too heated and they fight. But they make up pretty easily and apologizes.

Lukas isn't a big fan of Boomtown. So Axel sneaks out a lot to see him. But Lukas still tries to go meet Axel himself, instead of relying on Axel to always come out to meet him.

Really tight hugs. (They are both very touchy and affectionate people)

They still kind of hold a grudge on each other for the past, but it's mostly solved. (They made it a joke to tease each other about it)

Okay- last two.

Olivia and Axel (axilivia?)

Not gonna lie. I'm pretty sure I shipped this when I was younger(still kinda do?)

They're like a old bickering couple. They're just too comfortable with each other. They found a nice spot between Boomtown and Redstonia where they can meet up. Even built a small house there so they can chill together. I feel like they would've bonded by being

'no screentime buddies'

*sparkle sparkle*

Axel still tries to scare and play pranks on Olivia. But by now, Olivia's more successful at doing pranks on Axel than Axel is at her(she likes to prank his pranks(??))

Last but not least- Lukas and Petra (luktra)

I'll be honest, I ship them so fricking bad- 😭

They're like a... childhood friends to lovers to a married couple who got divorced five times or smth but somehow still in love and gets back together everytime leaving everyone around them confused

Okay. Thank you for listening (I am happy to yap more about any ships you want me to yap about👐)(and I mean anything)

[csilla-nocturne]

This is another older idea I love, that turned into more of a long summary.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have been happily married for a few decades at this point. One chilly afternoon as they are walking Xie Lian reaches for his husband's hand and notices it's already warm. Usually Hua Cheng has to use spiritual energy to warm himself, or Xie Lian's body heat will warm him. He asks Hua Cheng about it, and finds out Hua Cheng didn't even realize it was happening. Thinking back Xie Lian remembers several times over the past few months that this has happened. After discussing it they chalk it up to "frequent spiritual energy exchanging." and don't really think about it any more. It's a few weeks later Mu Qing and Feng Xin are visiting while Hualian are at Mount Taicang. The pair feel something is different about Hua Cheng, but they don't know what it is, and Xie Lian is suffering no ill effects so they don't comment.

Things continue on for a few more years, others noticing Hua Cheng almost seems more "alive" while Hua Cheng and Xie Lian mostly remain oblivious until someone points something out. They even develop that annoying couple thing where they seem to know what each other is thinking to the point of finishing each other's sentences at times. One thing they do notice immediately however is that if one is hurt the other is able to feel it. Putting things together they realize this is more than the side effects of make out sessions, ect.. Xie Lian goes to Ling Wen for help while he and Hua Cheng start doing their own research into what might be going on. Later that night they also find out the shared sensation thing also works for pleasure, and of course waste no time taking full advantage of that.

A few weeks later Hua Cheng is visiting He Xuan, purely to discuss his debt, totally not because they actually might kinda actually be friends. It's totally just business, and Hua Cheng is absolutely not giving He Xuan advice on how he can stealth help out Shi Qingxuan, and even if he just happens to do that it was Xie Lian's idea. Hua Cheng doesn't even think about the weirdness going on with him and Xie Lian until He Xuan irritated asks him why the hell he's wasting spiritual energy to fake a heartbeat he doesn't need. Hua Cheng is shocked by this, and admits he didn't even notice it was happening. He explains what's been going on with himself and Xie Lian.

He Xuan after listening says he may know what's happening, having stumbled on something while planing his revenge on Shi Wudu. He's not certain however, as what it sounds like is something he's only ever heard happening between two living people, never one who was living and one who was already dead. He explains a very difficult technique some cultivation partners try where they attempt to give one another parts of their own souls without damaging themselves, so that even if they die they are bound to the point that they will be able to find each other even if they reincarnate and have no memories of their past life. Basically they try to ensure they become soulmates. He Xuan tells him this is a very difficult and dangerous thing to attempt, and many have died, and ripped apart their own souls trying it.

He also says if this is indeed what has happened he's really not surprised that Hua Cheng, and Xie Lian have managed to do this on accident.

It also means that Hua Cheng's anchor to the world is no longer his ashes but Xie Lian himself, explaining why Hua cheng while still a ghost has been seeming less dead lately. The heartbeat he's feeling isn't one he made, but Xie Lian's coming through the bond they have.

Hua Cheng kinda short circuits from the info, and a very annoyed He Xuan contacts Xie Lian partly to explain his theory, but mostly to get Hua Cheng out of his house, because he's now ruining the gloomy vibe.

After taking a few days to digest this information, they decide to keep it quiet, except for the few they can't avoid telling like Feng Xin and Mu Qing who worried about Xie Lian demand to know what's going on. They don't want anyone getting any bright ideas about testing the theory, after all even if the ring is no longer Hua Cheng's anchor to the world it's still very precious to Xie Lian who doesn't want any thing to happen to it.

Is He Xuan right? Who knows. 😉

[queen--kenobi]

Like a Cigarette (Drag Out, Never Quit) Part I

My entry in @hotd-bigbang for this year! The header, dividers, and the moodboard are all done by the wonderfully talented @ewanmitchellcrumbs

Fic summary

When the Greens realized Rhaenyra invaded King's Landing, Elayna, Aemond's wife and mother of his children, was among those who fled. Not trusting Larys, Elayna had made a plan with Tyland Lannister should the worst ever occur. Seven months later, freshly widowed Elayna and Tyland return to King's Landing. The pair of Westerlanders grew close in the intervening months, making many wonder what happened. King Aegon II decides to see for himself exactly how close the pair became.

Chapter summary: Having made their way back to King's Landing, Elayna has to deal with some personal matters.

Warnings: heavy discussions of grief, character death (not in fic), lots of angst. NSFT (m!receiving oral, f!receiving oral, PiV, some praise kink, and previous D/s dynamics referenced.) Also, dub-con. They both are given an out, but it's still there.

Word count: ~10.3k

Part 1 of 3

A/N: Thank you to both @emilykaldwen and @/ewanmitchellcrumbs for doing this year! I had a lot of fun with this, and y'all did a fantastic job putting this on.

Elayna closes her eyes. 

Despite her exhaustion, she can't seem to find sleep. Every jolt of the carriage shakes her awake. The movements aren't what keep her from sleep but what they might do; the thought of her twins waking up is almost enough to bring her to tears. It took far too long to get either of them down for a nap. In theory, she knows she could give them to someone else. In practice, the idea terrifies her. An almost animalistic fear hits her at the thought of someone else handling them. 

Aelon and Reynard are all she has left of Aemond, left of her old life. She'll be damned if she lets someone take that from her.

“You can go to sleep. I'll wake you if they do.” Elayna cracks one eye open at the sound of Tyland’s voice. He sits across the carriage from her. He could have chosen to ride with everyone else, but he chose to stay with her. 

“I cannot ask that of you. You have already done far too much for me.”

Elayna wouldn't be alive if it weren't for Tyland. The twins wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. If he hadn't managed to sneak her out of King's Landing just before Rhaenyra took the city, all three of them would be dead, and it wouldn't be a swift or painless death. 

Aemond killed Rhaenyra's son. 

Killing his wife and two unborn children would be one of the first thing Rhaenyra sought to do. Elayna cannot find fault with the logic; she would do the same for her children. 

The carriage jostles almost violently. Elayna lowers her head to look at the twins, missing Tyland pursing his lips together at her statement. Aelon opens his eyes. Panic surges through Elayna. If he begins to cry, Reynard will surely wake as well. She tries to carefully adjust Aelon, wanting to better cradle him if he should start to cry. The adrenaline coursing through her combined with her exhaustion makes her movements sloppy, jostling the twins more than the carriage.

“Elayna...”

“Don't!” She snaps instantly. Elayna winces when she hears her tone. She tries her best to soften the edges when she opens her mouth again. “I... I know you mean well, but I. I cannot . I will not let anyone else take care of them.”

“At the expense of yourself?” Elayna frowns. She glares at Tyland across the carriage. It's all sheer emotions mixed with sleep deprivation; no true ill will sits in her gaze. Tyland doesn't flinch; he stares back at her evenly. “You can't keep going like this.”

“It doesn't matter if I can or not. I must.”

He sighs. Elayna looks away, cradling Aelon closer to her. One part of her brain sees how emotional and illogical she's being, but the majority of her brain refuses to look at it.

“I know you're right. But. How do I know she won't hurt them?” Elayna's voice cracks slightly at the last word. She swallows and clears her throat in an attempt to disguise it. Tears begin to collect along her waterline without permission. “I couldn't trust before, but now. How can I? How can I trust anyone to not hurt them?”

Her voice rises an octave without her permission. She slaps her hand over her mouth in an attempt to push the words back inside her body, but it's too late. The increased desperation in her tone finally triggers Aelon. He lets out a piercing wail. 

The wave crests, and each member of Elayna’s family falls.

Aelon's wail causes the trapped sob in Elayna’s chest to burst violently from her. She has no idea if it's in solidarity or if it's because the sound of Aelon's crying makes her want to scream. Upon hearing both his mother and brother crying, Reynard joins. The look of alarm on Tyland’s face would be funny in almost any other circumstances. 

“Elayna...” 

Elayna tries. She tries to tell him she's fine, she's okay, she just needs a moment. All that comes out is a choked noise and then an unholy wail. Her cries mix with those of her babies. Tyland's eyes go wide. He opens his mouth to say something, most likely words of comfort, but nothing comes out. Elayna curls around both Aelon and Reynard.

A soft hand on her shoulder nearly makes her jump. Tyland sits beside her. His expression is equal parts alarm and concern. His fingers flex and curl, as if he's not sure if touching her is the right move. Elayna buries her face into his shoulder. Tyland stiffens at the contact. Elayna opens and closes her mouth, trying to assure him she's fine, it's fine. Nothing comes out. 

“There, there.” Tyland rubs her back very awkwardly. He clears his throat. She hears three thumps on the carriage door. She feels the jolt as the carriage stops. Elayna wants to push away from Tyland in case people look in on them, but she doesn't have the energy. Instead, she pulls Aelon and Reynard closer while pressing herself further into Tyland.

The door to the carriage opens. Elayna panics. The thought of someone seeing her like this sends an intense spike of panic through her. She tried to push away, but Tyland keeps the one hand on her shoulders. She can't hear what he says to the servant who opens the door.

Elayna hears other voices. One of them gives soft commands. Tyland occasionally speaks, but she can't hear it because of the noise in her head and wails coming from her. Eventually, two other voices join, this time feminine. Elayna lifts her head from Tyland’s shoulder. 

“No. No!” She shakes her head violently and clutches Aelon and Reynard closer to her.

“Elayna. Elayna!” Tyland takes a gentle hold of her shoulders. “It's okay. ‘Tis okay.”

“I don't. I don't want them to!” Elayna's voice cracks as it reaches a new octave. Tyland brings one hand to her face.

“ ‘Tis okay. It's okay. They're not going to hurt them. Aelon and Reynard will be fine.” Tyland wipes some of the tears from her face. “They will be watched. The nurse maids will have others around them. No one will hurt them. I swear.”

Elayna stares at him, her lip wobbles even more. Tyland clears his throat. 

“You need to let them. You can't do this by yourself.”

“But I-”

“We'll call for them once you've calmed down.”

Tyland's logic makes sense. It goes against every instinct in her body, but it makes sense. She stares at him. Tyland’s movements are stiff and hesitant as rubs her back. 

“Okay. Okay.”

She tries to stay calm as she carefully hands over Aelon and Reynard to the nurse maids. Both wail even louder when she passes them; it takes all of her self-control to not fall apart again hearing them. 

It isn't until the carriage door closes again and she and Tyland are left alone that she lets herself break down once more. 

This time, Tyland seems to expect it. He holds her, at first clearly unsure if he should. When she grabs the collar of his doublet, collapsing into him as she sobs, he pulls her closer. He doesn't say anything, just holds her in his arms and rubs a small circle on her back. The gesture brings more tears. Her body feels so heavy. 

She's tired. She's so so so tired. Her entire being feels like a giant lead weight. The more she cries, the more sheer exhaustion creeps upon her. Elayna splits apart at the seams, everything finally too much to handle.

She wakes up warm.

Elayna sighs. She vaguely registers the sound of the carriage rolling over cobblestone now, the clack of horse's hooves against them. She turns her head with a grunt. Her left cheek slides against silk as she tries to bury her face. A light, soft sensation rests on her right cheek and neck. 

The fabric doesn't give. 

It takes Elayna a moment to realize the reason as to why. Her sleep addled mind slowly arrives at the conclusion. She struggles to open one eye, crusty from the salt in her tears. Red silk greets her first then a moss green velvet. Sluggishly, she tilts her head upward. In her periphery, she notices her head rests in the crook of someone's neck. She sees the lines of a jaw with a blond beard.

“Tyland...?”

Tyland’s eyes flick down to look at her.

“We should arrive at the Keep soon.” Elayna becomes aware of his arm around her, his hand resting on her shoulder. His hands seem broad against her. She idly admires his fingers. She wonders what his hands would look like against her bare skin, what colors bruises in the shape of his fingers would take. 

“How long was I asleep?” Words float in and out of her brain. She lets her eyes close again. 

“Half the day. I've kept Aelon and Reynard with us as much as I could.”

At the mention of her children, Elayna's eyes fly open. Before Elayna can even try to sit up, Tyland quickly reassures her.

“They're in here with us.”

Elayna still pushes herself up to look at the space. The sight makes Elayna's shoulders drop. She lets out a deep breath before slowly letting herself settle back down. Her head finds Tyland’s shoulder once more. 

She should be worried what people might think if they saw the two of them. She shouldn't let herself relax. She needs to be on guard.

Instead, Elayna closes her eyes. 

The two of them stay like that for a long moment, Elayna's head on Tyland’s shoulder and Tyland’s arm around her. At some point, Tyland’s hold moves. His arm rests loosely around her waist. Elayna sighs. She nestles closer to him, almost instinctively, at the change in positioning. They sit in silence. Elayna listens to the sounds of the horse's hooves and the creaking of the carriage. She listens to the soft rise and fall of her breath, of the twins's breath, of Tyland’s breath. She listens intently to a moment of peace she might never get again.

After a while, Elayna sighs. While she enjoyed the blissful break from the realities of her situation, she has to clean up the pieces. 

“ ‘m sorry.” She manages. “For earlier. I didn't mean to... cause concern.”

Tyland sighs. It's not necessarily at her but more world weary.

“I imagine being a widow with two babes is difficult.” Tyland looks down at her. “You have help. Use it. Not everyone means you harm.”

Elayna doesn't say anything for a long moment. Instead, she stares ahead. He's somewhat right; not everyone means to harm her but enough people do she cannot risk it. The truth of the matter is the minute she married Aemond, both herself and any children they had were in danger. It wouldn't have mattered who won, she and her children were always going to be on the chopping block. They didn't afford any decency to Aegon and Helaena's children, why would hers be any different? If anything, Aelon and Reynard were more in harm's way, given Aemond's actions. Elayna tries to find the words to explain this, but they stay stuck inside her mouth.

“They're all I have.” She whispers. It's the closest thing she can come to getting him to understand.

“And they will have nothing if you continue on like this.” He counters. Elayna swallows. “They're children of a Prince. Aegon won't let anything happen to his nephews.”

Tears threaten to fall again. She doesn't try to fight them this time. Instead, she lets them fall. This time, her body grants her the mercy of them being silent.

“I... I know that. But ‘tis hard.”

Tyland stays silent. She fights to keep her gaze forward, not wanting him to know how much just saying those words aloud hurt her. 

“Do you trust me?”

Elayna lets out a humorless little giggle. Tyland stiffens, but Elayna quickly turns her head up to look at him. 

“Of course I do.” She smiles at him. The motion almost feels foreign to her. “If I didn't, I would have had your head for seeing me cry.”

Tyland raises an eyebrow at her. Elayna stares evenly back at him.

" 'Tis a joke!"

"I somehow doubt that." Before Elayna can react, he clears his throat. "Nothing will happen to them. I promise."

Elayna buries her face back into his shoulder. She wants to tell him he's too kind to her, but the words won't come. Instead, she presses herself more into his side.

They stay like that, Elayna's head in the crook of Tyland’s neck and his arm around her waist, until they reach the gates of the Red Keep.

Everything feels off, almost to the point of being tangible. She can almost taste something acrid and mournful in the air.

The greeting party was small; Aegon cannot move much without being in pain so his absence was expected. Queen Alicent, however, did not come out to see them. Elayna was under the impression she would until she was later informed Alicent doesn't leave her chambers for much of anything anymore.

She understands.

Elayna often thanks the Seven the twins were born before the news of Aemond's death reached her. She has no idea what the devastating news would have done to the twins if they were still inside her belly. Even then, it almost killed them. In the days after, Elayna stayed in bed all day, only getting out of bed to feed Aelon and Reynard. The thought of doing anything more hurt her deeply. It took both Johanna and Tyland to coax Elayna not just out of bed but out of her chambers. Guilt still eats at Elayna; Johanna had her own losses yet Elayna selfishly took all the space to mourn. 

Perhaps the sight of Alicent's two new grandchildren may do the Dowager Queen good. Elayna tells herself this as she carries the twins to Alicent's chambers. When the guards open the doors, and Elayna sees Alicent, Elayna almost gasps.

She doesn't recognize the woman before her.

Alicent's curly hair sits tangled, almost in mats. Her eyes are sunken, red rimmed from crying. She almost curls in on herself, any and all previous confidence long gone from her body. Elayna hurts. She physically aches looking at Alicent.

“Your Grace.” Elayna steps forward. Alicent finally looks up to Elayna. She looks so much older than the last time Elayna saw her. 

“Elayna.” Alicent's voice lifts with relief, but she doesn't smile. “You're alive.”

“Aye. Thanks to Ser Tyland.” Elayna clears her throat. “I am not the only one alive thanks to him. Your grandchildren are as well.”

The news of two grandchildren doesn't take all of the sorrow away from her, but it visibly puts more life into Alicent. She almost perks up. Her eyes brighten.

“Grandchildren...? You were with twins?” Alicent carefully stands up. Delight creeps into her voice, the delight of a mother learning they're a grandmother. At the sound, Aelon lets out a pleased giggle. Reynard coos softly.

“If I may present Aelon and Reynard...”

Alicent makes her way over to Elayna. Elayna gently maneuvers Aelon out of his sling as she approaches. Alicent stops just short of Elayna, as if waiting for permission. It almost seems as if she thinks Elayna will tell her no. Instead, Elayna cradles Aelon and hands him to her.

“This is Aelon.”

“Aelon.” Alicent repeats. She takes a moment to study him. Elayna watches as Alicent notices how light Aelon's hair is and how his nose matches Aemond's. Alicent looks up. Tears threaten to fall. “He looks like his father.”

Elayna does her the courtesy of pretending to not notice the slight break in Alicent's voice. 

“He does. But he has my temperament. Nothing is ever quite right for him.” The subtle jab at herself makes Alicent shake her head. Elayna turns to Reynard. “This one looks like me, but I think he shall take after his father.”

Elayna lifts Reynard from his sling with a grunt. She cradles him close to her chest, positioning him so Alicent can look at his face.

“He has your hair but Aemond's eyes.” Alicent remarks almost absent-mindedly. Aelon babbles in her arms, a plea for attention. Alicent shifts him. He quickly grabs onto her hand with one of his own small and pudgy fists. Alicent almost smiles. Her face relaxes some, the harsh lines on her face easing up as she does so. Her eyes brighten a bit at the same time. Yet she still doesn't smile.

Elayna doubts Alicent ever will again. 

Elayna steps close to her. Reynard reaches out to clasp one of the many strands of hair free of Alicent's braids. He looks at her, eyes wide. 

“I...” Elayna begins. She pauses to take a deep breath. “Is it silly one of my wishes is I could have told Aemond we had twins?” Elayna wants to look at Alicent and meet her eyes, but she can't. All the strength to lift up her head leaves her body. Instead, she reaches across to smooth out one of Aelon's hairs.

“No.” Alicent manages. “No, ‘tis not.”

Elayna inhales shakily. This time, her head begins to hurt before her eyes water. 

“I hope they become men their father would be proud of.”

Elayna's words make Alicent break first. She lets out a choked sob, placing her free hand delicately over her mouth. Elayna presses her lips together and averts her eyes. 

“I... I miss him.” Elayna confesses. “I miss him so much.”

Alicent lets out a strangled sob, a noise Elayna is all too familiar with herself. The sob quickly turns into heavy crying. Alicent's shoulders heave with each attempt of an inhale. Silent tears fall down Elayna's face. 

She can't hug Alicent properly because of the twins, but she tries her best. She stands as close to Alicent as she can and wraps her free arm around her. Alicent doesn't respond in kind but grips Elayna's arm. She almost seems as if she might collapse.

When Alicent does fall into Elayna, Elayna catches her as best she can. Elayna carefully guides her towards a chair. Once Alicent is close enough to lean on the chair, Elayna speaks. 

“Here. Give me Aelon.” 

Elayna shifts so she can take both infants. Alicent hands Aelon over. Elayna tries her best to carefully guide Alicent towards the seat of the chair, mostly to ensure Alicent doesn't fall. Alicent manages to get into the seat. Elayna kneels in front of her.

They stay like that for a moment. 

Eventually, Alicent clears her throat. She looks at Elayna from underneath her eyelashes. Elayna nods.

“Would you like to hold Reynard now?”

“I would.”

Elayna hands Reynard over, cooing as she does so. Reynard kicks his feet but does nothing more in the way of protest. Alicent carefully cradles him in her arms. Elayna watches for a minute before Aelon, clearly upset with the lack of attention, lets out a high pitch scream. When Elayna looks down at him, he grins and giggles.

Elayna's summons aren't unexpected. 

“The King wishes to speak with you.”

Elayna slowly stands. She turns to face Alicent, but she doesn't need to ask. Alicent offers before she can ask.

“I'll watch them.”

Elayna offers her a small smile. She trusts Alicent. The loss of two of her grandchildren and two of her children means she understands Elayna's pain, Elayna's fears. Alicent won't harm her children.

Elayna follows the Kingsguard. She expects to be taken to the Throne Room. Instead, the path leads towards the King's chambers. Aegon holding an audience in there feels strange in her mind. Perhaps he has yet to fully recover from his injuries. Elayna never saw him, at least, not the full extent. She had been willing to look at him if he wished, but she opted to give him privacy instead. 

It wasn't out of disgust she did not look but respect. When she went to see him, his wounds were still fresh. The thought of another person seeing her as she might have seen him, weak and hurt beyond belief, meant she averted her eyes. 

They stop in front of the doors. Elayna takes a moment to inhale and steady herself before the doors open.

Aegon sits in a chair in the antechamber of his rooms. Elayna notes the blanket covering his legs but opts not to say anything. 

“Your Highness.” Elayna curtsies deeply. She looks up as she straightens back up. Aegon nods.

“Lady Elayna.” 

The two stare at each other from across the room.

“I was glad to hear of your survival.” Elayna starts. She does mean her words. While the news of him being alive was entwined with the news of Rhaenyra's death, she finds herself more comforted by the fact Aegon survived. “I... I did worry.”

“Lord Strong planned well.” Aegon dips his head. “Almost as well as Ser Tyland. Getting all the gold and you away, that is a lot to keep track of.”

“And I'm thankful he was able to do so.”

Aegon scrutinizes her. He narrows his eyes and stares at her in an almost calculating way. Elayna shifts. It's not an expression Elayna has seen on him before, and it almost makes her nervous. Aegon seems to see what he wants because he leans back slowly. A playful smile makes its way onto his face. 

“Did the two of you fuck?”

Elayna barely manages to keep herself from withdrawing in shock. Instead, her nostrils flare with indignation. Aegon tries to raise his eyebrows. The motion causes him pain; it makes his jaw clench and eyes screw shut.

Instinctively, she steps forward, wanting to offer help and ease the pain in any way she can. Elayna almost reaches out to grab his hand but catches herself.

"Well?" Aegon still sounds in pain. His question covers his slip-up. "Did you or did you not fuck?"

“No. We didn't.” Her words come out a hiss. Aegon nods. He doesn't seem entirely convinced.

“Do you want to?”

“That is not an appro-”

“ 'Tis a yes or no question.” Aegon looks at her. 

“I...” 

If Aegon were not so injured, he would raise his eyebrows and jut out his chin. He stares at her. Elayna screws her eyes shut.

“Answer me.”

She takes a deep breath. 

“Yes.”

She tries to force herself to sound authoritative. If she owns it, it shan't feel so shameful. It shan't feel like a betrayal. It would be an answer to a question. 

Instead, Elayna's voice comes out a soft whisper. It cracks almost. The single word rips and tears at something deep within her. Her husband has not even been dead a year, and yet, she openly admits to wanting another man. Shame swirls and screams in her brain. 

She opens her eyes and looks back at Aegon. Aegon studies her, not quite detached but not necessarily in a familiar way. Her internal agony must show on her face because he speaks after a long moment.

“I don't ask to cause pain.” Aegon begins slowly. She can almost feel him roll his words around in an attempt to select the right phrasing. Eventually, he sighs. “The Small Council wants you to marry already.”

“They wish to get rid of me.” The words fall from her lips without thought. “They wish to get rid of the wife of a kinslayer.”

Aegon stays silent. He looks away for a moment. His throat bobs. Elayna needs no more confirmation.

“I know you love Aemond.”

The use of the present tense nearly brings Elayna to tears. Aegon doesn't seem to notice his slip up. Perhaps it wasn't a mistake. Perhaps the wording was intentional. Aemond may have di- 

Is dead. Aemond is dead, but that doesn't mean Elayna's love for him died as well. Even if she herself feels as if part of her own soul passed the minute she was given the news, the love still lives on.

“I do.” She swallows. She blinks rapidly. The tears threaten to fall despite her efforts. Elayna turns her gaze to the ceiling and clears her throat. “His loss cannot be easy for you either. He is your brother.”

Aegon nods. 

“He would want you safe.” 

An idle question crosses her mind. She appreciates the warning about the Small Council's intentions, but to bring them up now seems strange. Tyland should be irrelevant to this conversation. Why does he feel like a focal point?

“What does this have to do with Tyland?” Aegon blinks with surprise at Elayna’s question. “You start by asking if I wish to sleep with him, and then speak of the Small Council and Aemond's wishes.”

“Nothing gets past you, dear sister.” Aegon nearly chuckles. The sound comes out weak. Elayna frowns. A small conversation such as this shouldn't be taking such a toll on him; it makes a small part of her ache to see him in such pain. “People need assurances. Especially the Westerlands.”

Elayna tilts her head. She regards him quietly. Each breath of his seems so labored. If she figures out what he's getting at, she can save him some agony.

“Aemond's children should grow up in their home.” Aegon rasps. Elayna studies Aegon.

“Are you... are you suggesting to marry me off to Tyland?” Elayna raises an eyebrow.

“You should have a husband you want to fuck.” 

Elayna purses her lips and turns her head away, not because she finds herself disgusted with his comment but because she may laugh at it. 

“I should.” Elayna decides on saying. Were she two years younger, she might have remarked on the fact most women don't get that choice. Instead, she holds her tongue. She turns back to face Aegon. “I accept.”

“Excellent.” Aegon raps the arm of his chair. He doesn't say what they're both thinking; Elayna's acceptance is just an illusion. The choice was already made. “You're dismissed.”

Despite the sun being above the horizon, the air grows cold as the chill of night begins to roll in. Elayna pulls her light cloak tighter around her shoulders. She's glad she thought to bring it on her walk in the gardens with Tyland. 

It had become a daily ritual at Casterly Rock for the two of them to walk in the evenings. Despite what the maesters said, Elayna had refused to stay bedbound during the last months of her pregnancy. Tyland offered to walk with her after supper so she might get the movement she wanted while still supervised in case something were to go wrong. The ritual quickly became the favorite part of Elayna’s day.

“Aegon seems to have grown. He thinks more as a King should.” 

Tyland nods his agreement. He keeps his stride even with Elayna's as they walk.

“I noticed much the same at the Council meeting. He's already looking forward to what the next year should bring.”

Elayna arches an eyebrow. “Had you told me two years ago that could even be possible, I would have called you a liar.”

“I'm sure it would not have been the worst thing you would have said of me two years ago.”

“No.” Elayna shakes her head almost violently. “Not you. Never you.”

Tyland raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything in regards to that. Instead, he turns back to look in front of them. 

“The King thinks we may need to bring a more favorable image back to the Crown. He seems to have an idea in mind already since he was asking about our reserves.”

“Well, an easy way to do that would be a royal wedding, but he has to be careful. I wouldn't trust just any bride.” Elayna purses her lips. “He could use that to his advantage. While he cannot mourn Queen Helaena all his life, a certain level must be expected. so long as the wedding occurs within a year, I don't think people will be too upset.”

Tyland tilts his head slightly before nodding in silent agreement. 

“That is a way to bring people together, yes.” 

The two walk in silence for a moment. As they do so, Elayna studies him. He looks almost lost in thought. His eyebrow almost press together while his mouth stays in a thin line. No one else is present in this portion of the gardens. Elayna nudges Tyland gently with her shoulder. 

“Anything you wish to share?”

“Aegon brought up an interesting proposal to me.” Tyland turns to face Elayna. “He told me it may be suggested I take a wife.”

“Oh? And did he have anyone in mind?”

“Yes. You.” Tyland looks Elayna in the eye. “He suggested it as if the Council thought of it themselves.”

“And you think he came up with it himself?”

“I do.” 

Elayna nods. “I think so too.” At Tyland’s confused expression, Elayna laughs softly. “He spoke with me about it earlier today.”

“And? What did you think?”

Elayna feigns an indifferent shrug.

“ ‘Tis a sound plan.” Elayna watches Tyland, gauging his reaction. She wants, no, needs to know if he wants to marry her. She could live with it, she supposes, if he doesn't want to. The cold and sudden feeling of dread at the thought of him saying no tries to tell her otherwise, but she does her best to ignore it.

“That's not an answer.”

“Tell me what you think first. Then I shall give my opinion.” Elayna bites the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling at Tyland’s expression.

“You're acting childish.”

“Oh? How exactly am I being childish?”

“ ‘Tis a yes or no answer.”

“And I shall answer once you give me yours.”

Tyland sighs.

“I agree with the decision.” He phrases his answer carefully. Elayna hums.

“Luckily for us all, I also agree with it.”

Sleep evades Elayna that night. 

She tosses and turns, doing her best to let slumber overtake her. It never comes. Eventually, after the Seven knows how many hours, she gets out of bed. She might as well take advantage of her wakefulness and do something useful.

The knock on her door almost doesn't surprise her.

“Come in.”

The guard from earlier comes inside.

“The King wishes to speak with you.”

Elayna raises an eyebrow. The temptation to remark upon the hour is strong, but she keeps it to herself. If Aegon summoned her at such an hour, it was no doubt important. She wants to ask if she has time to change into a more acceptable robe at the very least. Instead, she reaches down and tightens her robe more. 

“Very well.”

The halls are almost eerily silent. Elayna remembers even at night, she could hear people, albeit speaking more softly than usual. People fleeing the Keep no doubt contributes to it; most still seem to think it unsafe still. It unsettles Elayna. Nothing is as it was when she left, and it breaks her heart once more to think of all the little things lost. Nothing compares to the pain of losing loved ones, yet the lose of familiar sights and sound, of laughter and whispered gossip, hurts as well.

When she and the guards round one of the corners, she's surprised to see another set of guards. Tyland follows behind them. Elayna raises an eyebrow. Why would Aegon summon both of them? And at this hour nonetheless? 

They follow wordlessly behind the guards. Elayna has no idea what to say. Eventually, Tyland leans towards her. 

“Did they tell you what we're being called for?”

“No.” Elayna shakes her head. 

Once they arrive at the doors to Aegon's chambers, the door swing open. Both of them enter, Elayna stepping in before Tyland. At first, Elayna doesn't see Aegon. Her eyes dart around the room, trying to find him. She notices a large mound of cushions stacked in the corner. Eventually, she notices a gauzy curtain drawn across part of the room. 

The doors shut behind both her and Tyland. Elayna turns to her head to look at Tyland. Tyland raises an eyebrow. 

Aegon's voice comes from behind the curtain. In unison, the two of them turns towards the source. 

“Are the two of you in agreement about the plan?”

Elayna looks to Tyland. She reaches her hand out to touch his. Her heart leaps into her throat when he takes her hand in his and intertwines their fingers. 

“Yes.” Tyland speaks for both of them. 

“Good. Then I shall proceed to the matter at hand. I want the two of you to fuck. And I want to watch.” Neither Tyland or Elayna move. Even though she can’t see him too well behind the curtain, Elayna knows Aegon makes a face and juts his chin out some. “Fornicate? Have sex? I know my dear sister knows how, but do you, Ser Tyland?”

Tyland genuinely looks offended. He pulls his head back and purses his lips. He doesn't manage to catch himself from twitching his upper lip with irritation and disgust. Elayna’s heart skips a beat for a second. His expression is endearing, not because it was a particularly attractive expression but because it makes sense for him. 

“I do!”

“Excellent!” Aegon claps. “Then the issue is resolved.”

Heat rushes to Elayna’s face, embarrassment turning her pink. Tyland blinks. 

“Your Grace, I'm not sure th-”

“Elayna has suffered enough misery. I won't stand by and let her suffer a husband who can't fuck her properly.” Aegon tilts his head. “Unless you can't get it up?”

“Aegon!” Elayna hisses. 

“I do this for your sake.” Aegon tilts his head. “Would you rather take a chance on him not being able to please you?” He eyes the both of them. “If you are truly uncomfortable, you are free to go.”

Elayna meets Tyland’s eyes. Tyland stares at Elayna. He brings his hand up to her face. When he gently cups her face, Elayna's knees buckle at the tenderness of his touch. Behind the comfort and concern, Elayna sees a hunger mirroring her own. Tyland’s tongue darts out to wet his lips.

“We don't have to do this.” He whispers. “We can ask for oth-”

His genuine concern breaks her. Elayna closes the small distance between each other. She presses her lips against his. Tyland doesn't react for a minute. Panic begins to rise in Elayna for a second.

He kisses her back. The fear and anxiety evaporate.

Tyland kisses her as if he has wanted to do nothing more in his life. Elayna wonders if that's true. One hand finds the nape of her neck, fingers curling into her hair. Elayna responds in kind. Her touch isn't as gentle as his. She sinks her fingers into his hair. She traps the surprisingly soft and lustrous strands between her fingers. 

If she's going to do this, she might as well do this as if it's the only chance she gets. 

Experimentally, she tugs at his hair, not hard enough to truly hurt him but enough to see if he likes it. Elayna is no stranger to pain and rough treatment. Giving and receiving are as familiar as old friends. Either sets her body alight. 

An idle thought crosses her mind. Tyland’s gentleness and consideration for her is the only instance where her body thrums as much as it did when Aemond manhandled her. It almost makes her want to provoke him. If she feels this way from him being caring, him being rough with her would turn her into a whimpering mess within seconds. 

Elayna trusts him to build her back up once he breaks her. Hopefully he puts the same faith in her. 

When she pulls again, Tyland lets out an unmistakable noise of pleasure. He squeezes her hip. Elayna grins into the kiss, following it with a nip to his lower lip. Tyland squeezes hard. He slips his free hand around to her back. She rewards him by scratching his scalp gently with her nails.

Elayna pulls away first. Tyland gazes at her with an almost dazed look. She likes it on him, how his lips are kiss bruised and how his eyes are dark yet gentle. He brings his hand from her back to her chin. He strokes his thumb over the curve of her cheek.

“Can I?” Tyland brings his other hand to the tie of her robe. From the look on his face, Elayna thinks the question isn't just about her robe. Elayna nods.

“Yes. Please.”

Tyland inhales. He undoes her dressing gown with deft fingers. The fabric slides off Elayna’s shoulders and hits the floor with a very soft, almost airy, noise. Her nightgown is a red silk, not as delicate or dainty as her robe. Elayna moves forward to kiss him again. One of his hands finds her hair while his other skates gently down her arm, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

This kiss is a little more desperate, a little more teeth and tongue. Her skin buzzes at every point of contact with him. She pushes against him, desperate for more. Her fingers dig into the fabric of his tunic.

“Take this off.” She pulls at the fabric. He nods. Elayna moves to give him space. 

Tyland tosses his shirt off as Elayna turns behind them to the pillows she noticed stacked up in the corner. She grabs one of them and sets it on the ground in front of Tyland. Before she can lower herself down, Tyland leans down to kiss her. She almost giggles into the kiss.

“You don't have to.”

“I know. I want to.”

Elayna sinks to her knees. The plush pillow underneath her feels good. Her hands come up to begin to help him with his belt. 

She pushes back onto her knees. Elayna moves with her intuition. She opens her mouth, sticking her tongue out expectantly. She hears two sharp inhales. Only one of them matters to her.

“Fuck. You have a gorgeous cock.”

Before she can be embarrassed, Tyland groans at her words. Elayna smirks up at him. She looks up at him from under her eyelashes. 

“Like it when I compliment you? Do you like hearing how handsome you are? How gorgeous this cock is?”

Oh, fuck. Elayna actually watches his dick twitch. It almost slaps against his stomach. The sight makes Elayna squirm, spreading her knees ever so slightly. Tyland brings one of his hands down to cup her cheek. 

“Do you think I can take it all?” Elayna purrs. She revels in this new found confidence. She pushes her braids back. However, when she goes to lean forward, Tyland stops her by pressing his thumb to her lips.

“Let me... let me help.”

Elayna tilts her head but nods. Tyland presses his thumb against her lips more insistently. She parts them, wanting to see where he's going with this. 

Her gasp of surprise doesn't make it past her lips. Tyland slips two fingers inside of her mouth. He looks down at her, concern clear on his eyes. Elayna opens her jaw wider to accommodate for the stretch. She inhales through her nose and smells metal, no doubt from Tyland’s rings. Tyland presses down experimentally on her tongue. Elayna lets out a small noise at the feeling.

Elayna about chokes when he presses the pad of his fingers on the back of her tongue. Her eyes water. She tilts her head up more to try and let his fingers slide further down. Tyland places his palm on her cheek.

“Good girl.” He murmurs. Fondness covers every word. “Can you take a little more?”

She tries to reply. A bit of drool slips down her chin. Elayna nods. Tyland pushes his fingers a little further back. This time, Elayna gags. Tyland shushes her. 

“ ‘Tis okay.” He assures her. He pulls back his fingers for a second before pressing them forward again. Elayna accepts them eagerly. She flicks her tongue upward and along his fingers. She looks up at him from underneath her eyelashes. She wants more, needs more. 

Her eyes nearly roll back in her head when he moves his fingers. Tyland starts slowly, giving her ample time to get used to the sensation of his fingers sliding back and forth along her tongue and towards her throat. Elayna moans. He thrusts his fingers at a slightly faster pace. She tries her best to take him further. The idea of her lips touching his rings makes her squirm.

“Breathe.” 

Seven above. The simple command makes her head spin. She inhales through her nose as best she can. Tyland brings his other hand to her cheek. He strokes his thumb along her cheekbone. The gentle touch sits at odds with the way he's outright finger fucking her mouth now. Elayna spreads her legs. Her hand sneaks down between her thighs without her permission. 

Tyland pulls his fingers from her mouth. Elayna gasps for air. Spit connects her lips to his fingers. She looks up at him. Instinctively, she opens her mouth wider and presents her tongue for him. Instead of spitting into her mouth, he leans down and places a gentle kiss on her forehead.

She gasps at the contact. Elayna meets his gaze. 

“You're doing good for me.” He praises. Elayna nods desperately. She wants him but needs to be good for him.

“Stick your cock in her mouth already.”

Tyland’s jaw twitches at the rudeness in the command. Nevertheless, he moves forward. Before he can even take his cock into his hands, Elayna pounces. She surges forward and licks the vein on the underside. Tyland chokes. Her free hand finds his base to keep him where she wants. As she traces her tongue along his length, she closes her eyes. She feels the tension in his body. Wordlessly, she reaches forward and takes one of his hands. 

When Elayna pulls back, she opens her eyes. 

“I don't mind.” Elayna carefully places Tyland’s hand at the back of her head. Tyland looks down at her. She gazes up at him from underneath her eyelashes. She tries to hide her grin. Tyland presses his thumb to her bottom lip. She opens her mouth in response.

Tyland takes himself in hand. Elayna flattens her tongue as much as she can. Carefully, Tyland pushes the tip into her mouth. Elayna works to curl her tongue around him. She watches as Tyland lets out a low hiss of pleasure. 

She wants to hear more. She needs to hear more.

Tyland outright moans when Elayna pushes her head forward to take more of him in her mouth. She suction her cheeks as best she can. Her eagerness takes him by surprise. His fingers curl into her hair as she begins to move. Elayna brings her free hand up to work what doesn't fit in her mouth. Despite his length, she fits more into her mouth than she anticipates. After several minutes, she touches her lips to her hand. 

The sounds in the room are positively obscene. All Elayna hears is the slick noises with every shallow thrust into her mouth, two sets of ragged breathing, and her own breath and heartbeat. Tyland begins to shallowly thrust into her mouth, still clearly trying to not hurt her. Elayna rewards him; she lets out a satisfied hum next thrust.

The moan he lets out goes straight to her head. She almost feels her eyes roll back into her head at the sound. Fuck. Listening to him makes her head spin in the best way. Elayna pushes her legs even further apart and rests her free hand on her upper thigh. Tyland tightens his grip on her hair. His chest heaves. His thighs tremble to keep himself in check. 

She doesn't want that, she wants to see him lose control. She wants to see him lose control because of her.

Elayna looks up at him again. Tyland stares down at her. The look in his eyes almost makes Elayna whimper. He gazes down at her with an expression equal parts love and lust. A air of adoration lingers in his face, and the way he pushes her hair back gently just proves it. It fuels something deep within her. She pulls back to give herself a moment to breath. 

When she goes back, Elayna takes him all the way to the base. She keeps her eyes locked on his. Tyland’s eyes go wide. His chest heaves, and he almost seems to struggle to breath for a second. Elayna doesn't stop until she feels her nose touch his skin.

“Fuck.” Tyland’s voice comes out as praise and want. In the single word alone, Elayna hears how much power she has over him. A giggle tries to escape her. Tyland throws his head back with a moan, fingers digging into her hair. “Don't...”

If she could, Elayna would smirk. She tries to relax her throat more around him. Tyland groans. His fingers tighten in her hair, and he pulls her back. Elayna looks up at him. The whine that escapes her even takes her by surprise. 

Tyland kneels down to in front of her. He kisses her deeply once more. Elayna's eyes flutter closed at the sensation. His hands settle on her thighs. The sensation is muted against her because of her clothes. Elayna pulls away from him. 

“Let me-”

“I've got it.”

Elayna pushes up enough off her knees and calves to pull the hem of her nightgown out from under her. Tyland's hands meet hers when the fabric comes up over her knees. She places her knees back down and presses more into a seated position. They work together to pull her dress up over her head and off her body. 

“Beautiful.” 

Elayna's skin heats up, from her chest to her ears at the compliment. He says it as if he wasn't even aware, as if the words just fell out of his mouth. Elayna's eyes find his. Tyland’s eyes are dark with desire.

“Lean back.”

Elayna leans back on the thick pillows, black with silver and red embroidery. Her chest heaves. Tyland grabs three pillows, two for him to presumably lay down upon. Having Tyland so close to her naked body makes her shiver. He has yet to look at her most intimate parts. The thought terrifies her. What if he is repulsed by her? Or doesn't want to?

Tyland’s hand on her hip brings her back to the present. She makes a small noise and turns her gaze to him.

“Up.” He taps her hip twice. Elayna presses upward; Tyland slides the pillow underneath her. The angle eases some pressure from her lower back. He pushes back, hands warm on her thighs. He pauses for a second to look up at her, expression soft. Elayna's heart pounds in her chest at the wordlessly check-in, and she nods. 

“Yes. You can.”

She squeals when he grabs her thighs and pulls her to the edge of the pillow. The urge to pull away and hide herself almost overtakes her. She starts to pull away but before she can get far, Tyland takes careful hold of her calf. His beard brushes against the inside of her leg, just below her ankle.

Elayna gasps softly. He presses a gentle kiss to her skin. Her chest heaves. She stares at him with wide eyes. Tyland adjusts his hold on her and moves his lips lower. She lets her head fall back as he inches his lips down the inside of her leg. Her heart rate noticeable increases. She outright moans at the first contact of his beard and lips on her thigh. Her other leg falls out to the side.

When he reaches the top of her inner thigh, Tyland stares at her for a long moment. Elayna watches him. Her chest heaves, blood singing in her veins. Tyland wets his lips.

Her entire body erupts into flames. Heat surges through her. He hasn't even put his mouth to her, yet a keeping whine escapes her lips.

As soon as his tongue makes contact, Elayna's hands shoot out and find their way into his hair. Tyland starts with a slow, broad stroke. At the top, he stiffens his tongue to flick her clit. 

“Fuck.” The curse leaves her as a sigh. Her hips follow the movement of his mouth. She tries to push up onto her forearms, but it isn't long before the pleasure racing through her means she can't keep herself propped up. 

Tyland surprises her. He makes out with her pussy, not just eats her out. Every movement of his tongue is slow and methodical yet passionate. His mouth moves against her as if he was taking his time to kiss her. Elayna arches into it. When his tongue presses just to the left of Elayna’s clit instead of dead center, she moans.

Tyland notices. Of course he notices. 

He turns his head slightly. The new position gives him better access to the spot. He puts a little more pressure there, not enough to hurt but enough to make every part of her body sing. Elayna's moans get louder. She grips his hair as she throws her head back. Pleasure surges through her with such intensity she almost tries to pull back. Her legs tremble around his head. Tyland doesn't let her escape, instead pining her down with one of his palms flat on her stomach.

“I-” Elayna tries to find herself, but the steady movement of his tongue against her makes all rational thought impossible. She nearly ruts against his face. All she thinks about is the feeling of his mouth against her. 

She arches almost entirely off the pillows when he slips his tongue inside of her. Tyland curls his tongue up until he presses against something inside of her that makes her wail. Her whole body trembles. He moves his head, and the dam inside her breaks. 

Tyland slowly makes his way up her body, his lips ghosting over her skin. The care with which he treats her makes her float as much as what he does. Tyland stops and hovers above her.

“You can.” She murmurs.

The stretch as he pushes inside her cause a moment of discomfort. It's the first time someone has been inside her since she's given birth. She breathes through it until he bottoms out. 

Oh, she's missed this, this feeling of fullness, of slotting together perfectly. Elayna stares up at him. Eyes wide as she does so, she brings her right hand to his face. Tyland groans. He takes the silent invitation. His thrust start slow and unhurried. She rocks her hips into his. It feels good, pleasure coursing through her veins. 

Still. She wants more. She needs more. 

Elayna wraps her legs tight around his waist. She tries to encourage him to go faster by digging her heels into his low back. Tyland hisses.

“Elayna...”

“I'm not going to break.” 

The encouragement makes his hips stutter. Elayna squeals when he shifts back onto his knees, bringing her hips with him. Her head stays down and back arches. The angle causes her eyes to roll back into her head. 

“Fuck.”

Despite the change in angle, he keeps his movements slow and unhurried. The drag of his cock inside her, along her walls, sends a pleasant rush through her. Having her head down with her lower body lifted helps. Elayna whimpers. 

“Harder.” The word spills from her lips unbidden, both a demand and a gasp at the same time. Tyland gives into her. It's still not enough. 

Elayna doesn't want tenderness. Her whole body and soul aches for it, but she doesn't want it. She wants rough and hard; she wants to forget everything. Elayna craves the idea of being broken down into nothing.

“Fuck me like you hate me.” Elayna gasps out. “Like you should.”

She doesn't know how she means it. He should hate her, loathe her. What has she done but asked of him, taken and taken without ever giving? He should fuck her as he sees fit. Elayna wants that, to finally give.

Tyland stops. Elayna actually whines her displeasure. She stares at Tyland, fighting to keep both her confusion and hurt off her face. He's still hard inside her. She clenches around him in an effort to make him move, but he doesn't. Tyland lets out a low hiss but his hips stay still.

“Why'd you stop?”

Tyland looks down at her. His normal put together and slicked back hair falls in his face. His eyes trail over her face. 

“No.” He murmurs. Elayna feels her bottom lip tremble. Tyland quickly shushes her, pressing his lips to her forehead. He swallows. “I... I've wanted this. Far longer than you realize.” 

“I feel the same.” Her heart pounds hard against her ribs at the admission. This time, when Elayna bucks her hips, he matches her movement. 

“Elayna. This is, mmhmmm, this is serious.” Tyland drops down onto one forearm. He presses the other between them and across her hips in an attempt to keep her still. “I... fuuuck, I want. To do this. I want to do this how I've been dreaming about.”

Fuck. She clenches hard around him. Tyland hisses. Elayna swallows hard. A longing, the ever present longing, rears its head. Hesitantly, she nods. 

“I trust you.”

Each stroke stays slow yet intense. Tyland keeps his movements unhurried, as if he's trying to savor every moment. He keeps his gaze on her, watching and drinking in every expression on her face. Elayna finds herself watching him back. Even as she digs her nails into his back, her eyes stay on his. 

Every noise falling out of Elayna’s mouth comes out soft yet sweet, a symphony she wasn't even aware she could make. She knows how loud she can be or how high pitch she can get. The noises coming from her almost feel brand new, different. They feel natural. Each breathy moan fits perfectly into the moment. 

Elayna presses her palms flat on Tyland’s shoulder blades. The urge to dig her nails into his skin never appears. Instead, she clings to him. Her legs lock around his hips, ankles crossing over the other. He shifts slightly, and the angle makes Elayna tilt her head back with a soft sob. 

He presses his forehead to hers. Elayna tries her best to keep eye contact with him, but between the building pleasure and tears, she struggles. An almost whine escapes her. Tyland adjusts, lifting his forehead to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“I've got you.” He moves one hand and takes hold of hers. Tyland interlaces their fingers. Elayna gasps. The simple gesture makes her head spin in a delicious way. She finds an odd eroticism in it. Even now, his tenderness takes her breath away.

This time, Elayna doesn't fight it. She lets herself accept it. The thought she doesn't deserve such treatment never surfaces. She squeezes his hand back. 

Tyland shushes her gently. Elayna realizes a second later she's crying. Tears stream down her face, not big fat ones she associates with sadness. 

He kisses her. 

Tyland kisses her, and her whole world collapses. Elayna nearly sobs as she crests, body trembling in pleasure. The edges comes slowly and gently at first. However, as it begins to wash over her, she feels it build. The pleasure goes from nice to intense as it continues. Elayna clings to him. She holds onto him as if he's her lifeline. When she squeezes his hand, Tyland rubs his thumb over the back of her hand. 

He loves her.

The realization washes over her as her orgasm did, a steady and pleasant feeling that builds in intensity. Tyland loves her. He doesn't have to say it; she sees it now. The look on his face as he stares at her, lust and awe written on his face in equal parts, tells her as much. 

He loves her.

Fuck. She loves him too.

The words almost fall from the tip of her tongue. She keeps them at bay. Instead, she buries her face into his shoulder, letting out a pathetic whine. She pulls him as close as she can, heels locked around his back and palms on his shoulder blades to pull him even closer. Tyland moves his hips in shorter movements. Elayna pants against his skin. Her mouth won't form words; she settles for kissing his neck. 

That undoes him. He gives three more shallow thrusts before he stills. He collapses, trying his best to keep himself from pining her completely underneath him. After a moment, Elayna feels a small amount of cum begin to leak out of her. 

Unbidden, the thought of her being pregnant again rises to the forefront of her mind. Elayna sees it so clearly in his mind, the way Tyland would hold her and dote on her. She'd want for nothing. She clenches around him, causing him to hiss. 

A rustling catches her attention. Behind the curtain, Elayna spots movement. Aegon pulls away and pushes back. An undeniable air of shame comes from him. Tyland senses it too; he presses himself back onto his forearms.

“Go.” Aegon croaks from his unseen position. Elayna says nothing, just lets Tyland pull her up once he gets to his feet.

Her body sits heavy, exhausted yet satiated. Every bit of her feels boneless. A relief sits within her she hasn't felt in a while. Between her crying fit and finally feeling the touch of someone after months, every bit of resistance and ache in her body disappears for the moment. Everything from her legs to her jaw loosens, almost to the point of making her wobble. 

Elayna almost feels fuzzy at the edges. Not in a bad way. If anything, she needs it. For too long, her walls have been up. She’s held onto her need to be a bastion, both for those around her and the idea of being seen as weak and wanting tears her apart. This need has only been detrimental to her; Tyland was right when he told her she couldn’t keep on as she has. 

The walk back to her chambers takes a minute. Elayna makes a mental note of the look on Tyland’s face when he watches her; she can’t give him any hell right now, but she can at a later point. 

Once back in her chambers, Elayna makes her way over to her vanity. She doesn’t need to look into the mirror to know her hair is a mess, multiple thick strands out of her braids. Carefully, she sits down at the vanity. Elayna undoes her braids. A quiet satisfaction builds within her body as she begins to brush out her hair. 

It’s been so long since she’s done this. Elayna knows she can explain away her hair by citing bedhead, but she likes doing this. She always did it as a post-sex ritual when married to Aemond. She moves almost on autopilot. 

She inhales slowly and then exhales slowly. She lifts her head to look at herself in the mirror. Elayna stares at her reflection. A smile plays about her lips. The woman looking back seems content, fulfilled. It's not a familiar sight but a sorely missed one. 

Eventually, she stands and stumbles over to her bed. The sheets lay rumpled from earlier, but it's easy enough to make herself comfortable.

She falls asleep almost instantly when her head hits the pillow. Her sleep is dreamless.

Only when she wakes up does the reality of yesterday hit her. 

She stretches slowly, the pleasant ache in her body reminding her of what happened. Based on the low light filtering through the curtains, she thinks it must be early morning. Her back cracks. Elayna smiles. She rolls over onto her side, preparing her speech as to why they should stay in bed the rest of the day instead of attending to important matters.

The other side of the bed sits empty and cold.

Tyland isn't there. Elayna frowns softly and reaches out into the empty space. She blinks. Despite no one being around to see her blunder, she feels silly, foolish. Of course he wouldn't be there.

Aemond should be the one there.

Aemond isn't either. 

Aemond is never going to be there ever again.

Instantly, Elayna shrinks and curls in on herself, all good mood gone with a single thought. Even after all these months, she misses waking up beside him. It's been worse since the birth of the twins. The amount of times she's woken up, hoping against all odds it was a dream and Aelon and Reynard will be snuggled between the two of them is uncountable. Elayna sighs. She buries her head in her pillow.

Aemond isn't here. He'll never be here again. Elayna blinks back tears. An ugly voice rises amongst the wave of sadness hitting her. She thought first of Tyland when she awoke. She didn't think of Aemond, her deceased husband, but thought instead of another man. Not just another man but a Lannister.

She bites down hard on the edge of the pillow she curled around in a desperate bid to hide her face. Still, she doesn’t manage to muffle all of the wail wanting to break free from her. An almost detached part of her likens it to a wounded animal. Elayna wishes the thought hadn’t occurred to her; it feels as if she ripped apart a wound on her own and poured salt inside of it.

As she lays there, another thought begins circling her brain. This one is worse than the others. This one makes her want to puke, bile threatening to rise. It’s a summation of everything, she supposes, of every blunder and mistakes.

What has she done. 

[clonerightsagenda]

Observing various takes and tags on the content warnings poll and while my initial response was 'I see their utility but have a kneejerk assumption that the work that follows will be very Online' I am increasingly persuaded that the ideal solution is a folksonomy system a la 'does the dog die'. Because, frankly, the author may not realize what's most upsetting about their work. If an author deliberately writes about sexism, for example, it's easy enough to warn for. But if the author unconsciously writes something sexist, they're not going to think to warn for it, are they? If there are content warnings for other things, that just means the reader will be even more blindsided. Author-generated warnings leave you at the mercy of what they think is most upsetting, and that's a personal judgment. If we were going to hypothetically make this a Thing, I think crowdsourcing is your best bet.

[rendnotmyheart]

Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.

[lususnatura]

so, like, although blamore and one of my other characters are VERY different ofc ( and this other character in particular would be barton ) ... there is one thing that they have in common + that is that they believe in the fact that no one should be killing kids. though there is an important distinction between blamore and him whenever it comes to this and this is that, it IS willing to try to scare younger vigilantes like robin for example into thinking that it would hurt them with threats and stuff. which isn't right either OFC but blamore, in his mind, thinks that it's far better than the alternative. so he would do thing's like point the sharp end of his tail towards a vital point of theirs and threaten them if they were a vigilante / hero, but he wouldn't dare actually pierce their skin and is ALWAYS going to aim for incapacitating them rather than doing any serious harm to them.

( think of like handcuffing them to something with a bone or just with their hands + feet restrained with one because there ain't no WAY that he's taking the risk of leaving them being able to move their feet JSJSJ or, if he has to and since he does carry them around with it, just kind of... using the powder form of anaesthetic herbs to disable them through skin contact and/or inhalation 🫠 because no matter what way you look at it, even though there are some chokes used in martial arts that are viewed as 'safe,' they could go wrong somehow and cause someone grievous harm to blamore. thus, even though it's still arguably pretty morally questionable at the very least to force someone to be dazed and/or in a sleep-like state, he isn't going to do CHOKES on a dang kid. )

and whenever i say 'kids,' it also considers anyone that is 21 and under to be one because of it's background in psychology + the fact that your brain isn't fully developed until you're about 25 comes into play here too. so blamore's nature as an herbalist also does come into play during fights sometimes. but yeah, so he would go ' WTF ' if someone tried to seriously hurt or kill a kid in front of him because even blamore has lines that he is not willing to cross despite seemingly being this ruthless person who wants to restart EVERYTHING. and he will falter whenever it comes to some things. and it would tell them to get behind it if someone was trying to hurt them and actually isn't a bad caretaker if one were to somehow get stuck with it for a time, because blamore is VERY capable of being like a guard dog guys, ngl ☠️ LOL

[eimearkuopio]

I think every finite life has wheat and chaff. The moments that must happen for us to become our truest selves, the observations around which the spline is fitted in this specific iteration that defines the underlying truth in a close enough approximation that we can identify the infinite self (but I believe every butterfly was once many, many caterpillars, and dying in a cocoon only means being born a cocoon the next time around).

Maybe we have more people with disabilities for a few reasons. Maybe because we have already built a better world than the one we inherited, generation after generation after generation. Mine is the first generation to have it worse than their parents in so many ways; to have too much circus and not enough bread. Maybe our parents' generation doesn't understand that if they cling to the reins because they fear the children they raised won't care for them, or will care as little as they cared for their own parents, they are doing us and themselves a disservice.

My Nana and I are very alike. I have already identified and sought and received treatment for ailments she suffered from her whole life, and she was brainwashed into believing that her suffering was the price of her reward in the next life. She applied that principle to everyone she knew and loved. As long as she thought she was suffering the most, she didn't care how much she hurt other people, and she didn't want to understand better or do better. The treatments I need for my physical limitations may shorten my lifespan; but they also nearly made me kill myself at 28, and I suffered (AND CAUSED OTHERS TO SUFFER IN SPITE OF MY BEST EFFORTS) my entire life until maybe a month ago. I don't know if I am cured, but I know that I finally have a treatment that works for me. I think it will work for some of you.

Do no harm, but take no shit. I had to be wounded and to heal so that I could learn what was truly intolerable. Nana couldn't tolerate things either, but she never resolved the contradictions. She just came up with her iterations of the solutions.

My mother's younger sister died this summer. I didn't know her as well as some of my other relatives. We bonded a lot last summer. She wasn't part of the Church as it currently stands, and that is a tragedy, because she was the greatest livestock guardian sheepdog I have ever known. More feral than me, but that's because I have Nana's blood to temper Grandma's. Sometimes when you cross two breeds, you get the best of both worlds. Sometimes when you breed two species, you can get offspring, but it's sterile. I don't want to live in a zoo. I want to be free. I know that I will always be apart from the world, but I still want to be in it. I want to live before I die, and I want the same thing for all of you, and I think He did, too. I think that's why He sacrificed Himself.

Put down your cross. Please. He didn't want you to be crucified. That's why He let you crucify Him: so you could finally learn how to stop fighting each other. I don't think He expected you to take this long to really get the message, but it's not too late. He is a patient God.

[creature-wizard]

Okay y'all, going forward, this is what we're doing.

Shit's scary, I know. But we absolutely cannot afford to surrender to that fear, because that benefits the GOP. They want us to feel powerless, because they know we are not powerless. That's why they have so many shills and bots discouraging people from voting.

We will not demoralize ourselves and each other by doomposting in our moments of panic. If we have a panic attack, that's okay. But we are not going to spread that fear to other people in public. We will save our most scared thoughts for our private journals and close friends. And we will support our friends who are feeling hopeless.

We will remember that spreading awareness of Project 2025 and Agenda 47 has been hurting Trump. And we will continue to do this.

We will remember that right now, our only option is Biden, because without ranked choice voting, getting a third party candidate in is simply impossible. We might not like it, but that's why we're going to push like hell for ranked choice voting once we get his pruny old ass in to office for a second term. (And thank God, he can't have more than a second term; the Democrats will have to find someone else afterward.)

We will not spread conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories are the weapon of the enemy. We don't need them.

We will not publicly mock Trump in all of this. Making Republicans feel even more victimized is a losing strategy. "But it's my blog-" I'm sorry, are you playing for political keeps or are you just here to fuck around and put everyone's life in even more danger?

We will emphasize the ways that Project 2025/Agenda 47 will hurt everyone. And we will keep talking about it.

We will remember that the UK and France have already avoided far right takeovers in their elections.

All right? You got that? Because we got this if we stick together and keep at this. Shit's bad right now but that doesn't mean it has to be bad forever. We got each other, and we can do this.

[borderlinereminders]

If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.

Some other examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!

Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

[mythicalcoolkid]

I love the "glasses are disability" thing because it applies to basically every complaint abled people have about disability

"You're not even that bad, why would you get that?" Have you ever used a magnifying glass for small details or zoomed in on a picture

"Why do you have that accommodation TODAY?" Why do you wear reading glasses when you're reading

"It seems like your 'needs' are inconsistent." Yeah and you wear sunglasses when it's sunny and not all the time

"But you can technically walk without that." Yeah and if I put the page really close to your face you could read it, it would just hurt and be hugely impractical, inconvenient, and limiting

"But you COULD go without it all the time, you don't NEED it to live." And maybe you could technically see without your glasses, doesn't mean it's comfortable or practical day to day

"If you REALLY had a hard time seeing you would have glasses." Have you ever known someone who couldn't afford a new pair of glasses? Or eye appointments? Someone who needed vision therapy or special prism glasses? Someone whose vision only gets bad during migraines or seizures? Someone with astigmatism that glasses can't help? Someone who didn't qualify for LASIK?

"You only use it when you're out in public." Have you ever gotten up to use the bathroom at night without putting on your glasses

"Decorating it is just trying to get attention, and it's a medical device so stop glamorizing it." Do you hate any patterned or colorful glasses frames too? Art with characters who wear glasses? People who make OCs with glasses? Glasses chains, prescription sunglasses, aesthetic fake glasses with tinted lenses?

"There are secretly lots of people just using aids for fun and attention." There are secretly lots of people wearing fake glasses or colored contacts for fun and attention, it does not affect you

"We need to find fakers, they're stealing disabled resources!" Someone pretending to need glasses is "taking" a seat in the front from someone who might need it more. That sucks and they shouldn't do that. But I'm not going to scrutinize every person who wears glasses to see if I think they really need that seat. You personally are not the arbiter of who is (based on the random times you've seen them) secretly not disabled

"My friend has that and doesn't act like that." Does every pair of glasses in production, or even every pair close to your prescription, work for you? Is your vision identical to every other nearsighted person?

"If you can do X why can't you do Y? Some people with that can do Y."/"But if you have that how can you do X? People with that can't usually do X." Some people are nearsighted and some people are farsighted and some people are both. Some farsighted people can read some without glasses and some can't. And good distance vision doesn't mean you don't ever need glasses, it's just an entirely different reason you'd need glasses

"You're too young to need that." And there are young people who need bifocal lenses

"Why don't you use this DIFFERENT aid though, it would look like you didn't even have an aid." Why doesn't everyone in the world wear contacts

"Why can't I/my friend/my kid play with it?" Do you let random strangers and children try on your glasses at the grocery store

"I was just trying to help, I thought you'd need a push/you were in the way." Are you cool with me suddenly pulling your glasses off your face to clean them, or because the glare was distracting me

"You'll eventually stop using it though right?" Are you planning on no longer needing glasses someday

Disabled people are free to add

I am aware this is not a 1-to-1 perfectly accurate post. Do not come into the notes trying to "um actually this isn't a perfect comparison." I know. Just don't

[ariaste]

Apparently there was some lil drama in Good Omens fandom again about people being deeply nervous and scared of the end of Season 3, and I wrote this in the replies of one of the asks that Neil Gaiman answered, but I feel like it is deserving of being crossposted into its own post (in a slightly expanded form) so folks actually see it.

cmere, good omens fandom, we're having an intervention. a Come To Jesus talk, if you will.

First of all, I'm literally begging the fandom to:

learn what personal boundaries are, especially around parasocial relationships with strangers. (Suggestion: When sending asks to authors you like, use "polite work email" etiquette, not "joking with a friend" etiquette. The latter comes off REAL weird sometimes, and sometimes outright mean/rude/bullying).

take a couple deep fucking breaths

embrace the philosophy of The Author's Intent Only HAS To Matter To The Author, It Does Not Have To Matter To YOU. If you do not like the author's intent, you can say "hmmmm no thanks" and write some fanfic. That's what it's for.

Friends, Romans, countrymen..... Stop trying to make Neil Gaiman responsible for your happiness. For one thing, that is an absolutely unfair and cruel burden to put on a stranger who doesn't know you. Neil is only responsible for Neil's happiness. You're responsible for your own happiness. In fact, do not rely on ANY external source to guarantee your happiness, not even very nice people like Neil, not even your significant other, not even your family members. Yes, those people might be able to help you with your happiness, but they cannot guarantee it. Expecting a third party to guarantee your happiness is how corporations exploit you, and it is the source of all media trauma. Take agency over your own joy! Don't give away your power! Plan to DIY your personal ideal ending!

Neil is not telepathic, Neil cannot know all your hopes and dreams and wishes, nor SHOULD he be expected to know them, nor does he have space to know them. He is busy with things like his own and Terry's hopes and dreams and wishes. Their hopes/dreams/wishes are just as valid and important as yours, aren't they? Yes, they are. So calm down. caaaaaaaallllllm dowwwwwn.

Yes, I love the show very much too, but at the end of the day it is just a story. And the great thing about stories is that you are empowered to retell them in a different way. It is not real, so if you end up unsatisfied by S3, then blithely impose your own reality and build your own joy. It's not like it's the End Of The World or anything (lil fandom joke there for you)

And look, if you read this and you're feeling Mad and Upset or Frustrated about it, that is a symptom that you are maybe feeling a little stung in your Media Trauma parts. I am sorry that other stories have let you down in the past, and I really sympathize that you are feeling scared about the fate of this story that really matters to you. You've invested a lot of love into it! I really understand the fear! You don't want to be hurt again, and that's super understandable and normal.

But bestie, literally the only way for you to find a story that's exactly perfect for you and that won't hurt you at all is for you to write it yourself. I know that sucks to hear, but it is the truth. If you keep pinning a hope of perfection on other people's stories, you will keep getting traumatized by the media you consume. Love other people's stories for what they ARE, not for the stories that you WANTED them to be -- the same way that we love people, you know? You have to let a person be their own person; you can't force them to be someone else. That's fucked up, so if you notice that you keep trying to do that, maybe go to therapy so you can be that Someone-Else person for yourself (or, if you can't afford therapy, read some self-help books from the library or find some good channels on Youtube who make content that might help with that (I really like JulienHimself)).

If you need a story to be something big and important for you, if you are seeking catharsis and healing from a story that matters to you and you're really scared that you won't get it, then open a Word document and start typing. You can do it. You're a human being, and you evolved to tell stories. Literally it's a species specialization. You got this. It's gonna be okay, because you're going to seize the means of production and MAKE it okay. Yes? Yes.

Good Omens S3 will be what it will be. It will be what Neil wants it to be and what Terry would have wanted it to be. Period. That IS actually the highest achievement and the most noble and admirable accomplishment that we can hope for. And hey, maybe what they want overlaps with what you want, and that will be wonderful! But that will be merely a happy coincidence. The only person who can TRULY center your wants is YOU. So stop trying to trap Neil into doing it, please, because he's busy and it's not his job, AND because your wants do matter and you deserve to have someone who can give your wants their 100% full attention (aka you. that's you. only you can do that. Not even your best friends in the world can do it. Not even your mom can do it, at least not if you're old enough to know how to read.)

It's gonna be okay. Really. Really, it is. No, stop typing the snarky melodramatic reply. This is not the time for jokes; I'm being serious. It's going to be okay. Neil Gaiman can only break your heart exactly as much as you allow him to do so. That's how art works. You have to consent in order to be affected by it, and you can withdraw your consent at any time. You're going to be okay. I promise. As long as you choose to claim your own agency and your own empowerment as an individual, then all will be well and all manner of things will be well.