#but thanks anon. truly <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

you are so so loved by God and by all of us here on tumblr and I am sending you so much love tonight. please stay. things will get better I promise. <3

.

[dekariosclan]

That music ask gave me an idea I can’t get over.

Imagine Dad!Gale. Tav is plunking out a lullaby on the piano while he reads to their little one. He notices the kiddo isn’t paying attention to the book, they’re more interested in the music.

He gently nudges them towards Tav and the itty bitty magician scampers over, begging Tav to teach them.

“Of course my little love! But first scales!” Tav says.

Gale watches with a satisfied smile as Tav teaches their little one’s fingers the ups and downs of the treble cliff line.

How could godhood compare to this moment?

Ohhh, Gale enjoying sweet domestic moments, my beloved 🥹💜 This is a tear-jerker for sure!

I firmly believe that human Gale would have so, so, so many moments like this, moments where he pauses to take in the joy of a little everyday interaction with his beloved partner/spouse, or his partner/spouse and child, or his partner/spouse and children, depending on your particular HC and whether Tav and Gale got married, etc.

Because human Gale recognizes how precious these moments are. In the epilogue where Gale does not succeed at achieving godhood and he dies, his simulacrum laments his foolishness: “To think I believed godhood was worth losing all this...” And in the epilogue with our beloved Professor/Adventurer Gale, we see him getting choked up at being reunited with the other companions again: “I never thought we’d be together like this again…”

This is why Gale choosing the human path is so important: he not only learns to accept himself, he also learns to embrace mortality, and to cherish all the gifts that it has to offer.

So, if I may continue your ask:

———

How could godhood compare to this moment?

Gale sees his little one’s face light up with glee as Tav patiently instructs them, and he feels his eyes filling up in response.

To think I might never have experienced this…to think I might have traded this for…what? Power? Power wrapped in a cloak of loneliness? Power buried under the weight of an eternity of regret? Foolishness. Madness…

For a moment he’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize tears are streaking down his cheeks, soaking into his beard.

“Gale?” Tav’s loving voice brings him back to the present, and he blinks at the wetness in his eyes as he tries to focus. “Oh, love. Are you crying?” There’s affection in Tav’s voice, and an amused, adoring smile on their face. “…again?”

Gale can’t help but laugh in response, at the situation, at himself, and yet it only makes his eyes well up even more. “I love you,” he says, for what else is there to say? Those are the only words that matter.

He joins Tav and their child at the piano bench, crouching so that he can be close to them, bad knees be damned. His little one looks up as he does so, and concern flickers over their face. It’s such a sweet expression that for an instant it makes Gale’s breath catch.

“Daddy sad?” They ask, eyes wide as they reach out to touch his wet cheek.

Gale’s reply is a barrage of kisses before scooping them up, taking their tiny hand between his thumb and forefinger, feeling how warm and delicate it is, marveling at their perfect mortality.

“Oh no, my love,” he says, laughing even as the tears flow faster, pulling Tav in so that he can embrace them both, his two perfect loves. “Daddy is happy. So very, very happy.”

[somegrumpynerd]

Would Dream gift Nightmare a t-shirt that says "I'm not the step-father, I'm the father that STEPPED UP" Post truce au?

OH HELL YEAH HE WOULD

We love to see Dream continuing to live his annoying brother dreams lol

What's really funny is I was thinking about something like this a few weeks ago and then forgot, but I was thinking he would have to change the words since stepdad doesn't really fit Nightmare's situation and...

(In case it's hard to read, the shirt says "I'm not the stepdad I'm the guy that kidnapped all these people")

[goldensunset]

dude if kh ends ill. probably cry lmaoo. but also. fandoms continue after their thing is finished dont they?? like. 10 years after its done ppl will still talk abt it?? i hope so at least

given that the kh fandom has survived several massive droughts over the years at this point i think it's unkillable. some of my mutuals on here are from like the ice age of kingdom hearts and still alive and blogging the exact way they always did. it won't be a huge fandom but even now with the series still being alive the fandom isn't as big as it once was in its heyday. but those of us here are incredibly loyal. and the nature of any long-running thing is that people carry it with them over the course of many years and it'll become impossible to drop it once it does end. but! it truthfully all depends on How it ends if you ask me. if it's a trainwreck a lot of people might abandon it out of resentment. if it's good or even mediocre as an ending it'll have its fans throughout eternity

[merakiui]

Wait wait wait! I wanna jump on this apocalypse au train real quick! But envision this…

Whenever a housewarden picks his bride there’s a ceremony that takes place to show the remaining population the person that’s going to be standing by his side. And for this, housewardens from other compounds are invited to come witness the ceremony (or some sort of diplomat comes in the leader’s place) . It's a show of goodwill and comradery between the compounds. To keep up morale and strengthen unity.

And for this special ceremony, it’s between the one and only Malleus Draconia and his pretty bride. And who shows up because of his hatred that borders on obsession for Malleus? Fuckin Rollo.

And he takes a great interest in Malleus’s Bride. She’s innocent looking, quiet and meek. But that’s not what sparks his unhealthy interest, it's the way you stare up at Malleus like he’s your whole world. Full of love and adoration. Pure and utter devotion.

And Rollo can’t fathom the thought that you, the pinnacle of perfection and innocence, could love a monster like Malleus. Surely, it must be the effects of some sinful curse.

And late at night, where all guests are in their rooms sleeping away from the festivities of the wedding, Rollo finds himself roaming the halls. Your sweet smile and perfect body engraved in his memories. How can he sleep when you're plaguing his mind?

That’s when he finds himself following the sounds of your moans echoing down the long hall. Walking deeper into the dwelling of the dragon’s territory. Forgoing any disdain he held for the ruler. Only focusing on the sounds of your pleasured gasps and lewd moans up to the large marble doors that seem to block his view of you.

A voice whispers into his ear to lean in closer and listen. That he’s the only one worthy enough to view. Tempting him so nicely and convincingly, that he’s on his knees peeking through the keyhole to see you sprawled across the large bed. Legs wrapped around Malleus’s waist and hands tugging at his long ebony locks. The force of Malleus’s deep thrust making your back arch.

And Rollo listens to you begging Malleus to go harder, to go faster. And all that strikes a chord with Rollo and he’s tempted to reach his hand down his trousers to beat his throbbing cock to the rhythm of Malleus thrust into your tight cunt. But he holds himself back, forcing himself to focus on the sway of your breast, the shining trail of cum that drips down your thighs and ass, the plumpness of your lips and hazy expression on your face.

It wasn’t until you plead these very words that not only does his restraint snaps but so does the man that was holding you like you were the most precious gem, “Please, give me a baby!”

And the thin string that was preventing him from falling deep into his delusion is cut.

Anyways, this has been on my mind for like the whole day. Um… so do with this as you please. It was mainly supposed to be about the love of my life, Malleus, but quickly turned into a rollo thirst, which is kinda surprising. But! Here it is. Also, I didn't know where to add it, but I like to think that Malleus knew Rollo was watching and knew that he was growing some sort of infatuation for his precious Child of Man and Mal took it personally.

And I just want to say I absolutely love your work. I consume it like my abuelita consumes her telenovelas. Every post is just so juicy and good. Legit, the best blog to ever blog fr. And i want to interact more, so i might be coming back with more ideas lol

-M (not quite sure how anon names work, but I hope this is good :))

AAAAAAAAAAA M ANON, THIS IS SO YUMMY OMG........ Rollo peeking in on you and Malleus when the two of you are trying to conceive a child, not only because of compound tradition but because the two of you genuinely love and care for each other. Oooooo Rollo is in utter disbelief that you could ever willingly love someone like Malleus! Surely you're under some spell. Magic is so filthy and terrible, after all. He wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason you're so affectionate with Malleus (Rollo is very wrong about that and also very delusional).

Omg and Malleus knowing Rollo was spying...... orz he can definitely sense the presence of another, and maybe come the following morning at breakfast Malleus is so attached to you, more possessive than usual because he just knows if he leaves you alone for more than a minute someone (Rollo) may attempt to strike up conversation with you. >_< aaaaaa and Rollo is so strict with himself, trying so hard to deny the fact that he's (lustfully) attracted to you and that he's only watching you from across the banquet hall like this because he's trying to understand what you see in Malleus. That's the only reason! It's definitely not because he keeps thinking about you and your pretty body and your moans and....... T_T he is obsessed and in denial, and Malleus most definitely knows this.

After he's returned to the Noble Bell compound, he (very begrudgingly) writes to Malleus, if only to keep up appearances and be polite, but mainly so, should another event happen, he can secure an invitation and see you again. <3 he frequently writes about you in his diary to sate every filthy desire he has, often tearing the pages out and burning them after he's gotten it out of his system. But some pages he keeps. Like the poems and sonnets dedicated to you.

[theloveinc]

OKAY hear me out but touya WITH a job getting ready at your cute vanity and pink room. struggling to put up his cargo pants/ slacks with the belt, while running over to get his coat off of the fuzzy pink chair in the corner. he's forced to fix his hair and check if his face looks the least presentable in your mirror filled with polaroids before he goes out and it's SO funny to watch him do that omg. i'm gonna die

(pt. i!)

WAHHH mismatched socks, the elastic of his calvin kleins (that u bought him) peeking out at his backside; he nearly trips over his work bag that's waiting for him on the floor and practically slides right into your full-length mirror--you're really rooting for him and even though he wouldnt say it, he'd try to strangle himself if he lost his job for being late just one too many times--because he's rushing to get out the door.

you can hear him from the kitchen where you're putting together lunches (not for him specifically, but because you already make something for yourself, you might as well...you're welcome, touya), AND YES IT'S SO HARD not to laugh when the door bursts open and he's looking like a little fool with his black and white hair actually combed down and smudges around his eyes from trying + failing to get your eyeliner off of him.

(also, did he use your hairspray that was sitting on your vanity? maybe. okay, yes. though it's no surprise he knows where everything you own is lmfao)

he stills refuses to let you put things in a lunch box, but no way in HELL he's not shoving the wrapped sandwich and bento full of fruit into his bag before !!! kissing you goodbye!!!

it's truly like a dream come true 'coz even though part of him feels like a DOG having to work for the man, making you happy is what MAKES HIM HAPPY and being able to fill your (and now! his) room with more cute and pink things is his new favorite hobby...

(and even though he blushes like hell doing it, the next lunch date he's picking you up from, he's paying the whole table's bill in CASH and not taking no for an answer. makes him feel the best he has in a while. even though he's still eating everyone's leftovers lmao.)

slay the house down HOUSTON I'M DECEASED!!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenjaku is genuinely so creepy and i think that’s one of the reason why i love him SOOO much !! ive always had a liking towards characters who are insanely messed up and grotesque and kenny is like the perfect example of that. hes gross like — actually. i think hes a good example of how genuinely fucked up jjk is, and as much as people hate him i think he’s such an amazing character. gege’s dark writing when it comes to him and sukuna is so IWHSHSBSHEWJW !! sukuna being a cannibal and his entire thing revolving around cooking is so cool to me. like his entire character circles around things like that. he can use fire which.. cooking! when you cook you can eat! sukuna eats ppl.. his malevolent shrine is just a bunch of slashes which cut you to death and when you cook you’re usually cutting and chopping things.. with kenjaku and the whole pregnancy thing as well.. the womb.. it’s like disturbing and honestly it makes ppl a little sick but i find it so interesting because that kind of writing i LOVELOVEEE SMM!! kenjaku was willing to do the most nasty things just to get his plan to work. he’s such a scum of the earth guy sigh.. that’s why im so SOO happy i found this blog because you also like kenjaku and i can safely talk about my love for him without getting jumped 💔 im really sorry this is so long!! im just really happy it’s a safe spot to talk about these things! i love horror :3

i love kenny 🐑

THIS THIS THIS THIS . GOD. THIS.

i literally love you so much lambnon you worded this perfectly….. i loveeeee horror elements in fiction and i agree that jjk does it so so SO well!!!! sukuna & kenjaku are such great examples because not only are they morally reprehensible in really disgusting ways, they also … feel literally no shame over it. they never try to justify it . morality doesn’t even exist to them, and i think villains like that are sooo fun <33

sukuna’s cannibalism and general thematic ties to food & eating is SO tasty especially since it all goes back to him eating his twin in the womb … it’s like eating is a curse that follows him around but he’s made it into a point of pride. you know? he’s so unabashedly awful and i loveeee that about him…..

AND KENJAKU. i agree on all points!!!! everything!!!!!! he’s soooooo creepy and so eerie and so gross. i find it really funny and fitting that even sukuna thinks of kenjaku as a freak LMAO. which is . extra interesting when you remember that the womb is a special place even to sukuna… and kenny sort of… perverts it. he makes it into his own science lab. it’s so twisted and sickening and tasty because kenjaku doesn’t just impregnate that woman from the kamo clan, he impregnates himself!!!! and i can only imagine that he did it partially just out of worldly curiosity which is….. sooo . him? he’s so insane? 😭

literally nothing is off limits to kenjaku, and that makes him such a fun villain….

^ i think he says it best himself :3c

the womb motif in general is also so . Good… the motherism of it all….. i’m forever bitter that we never got to see his domain in action because the fact that it’s basically a manifestation of a womb realm is soooooo fucking sick oh my god. body horror is so scary to me but also so insanely tasty and the fact that kenjaku’s whole character revolves around it just!!! scratches my brain. no pun intended.

anyway …. this ask made me a little insane. i’m so happy to have you here lambnon!!!! :’3 this blog will always be a safe space for lovers of the grotesque / of kenjaku in general <333 our beloved scum!!!

[mothercetrion]

AU where Kenshi is still a Yakuza member and he and Johnny have an affair :) multiple chapters planned

directly inspired by @tokillaking13 and their incredible Johnshi art (support it here and here!)

[inkrats]

Would Dick be exploiting this Jason who looks like Bruce? Or would Jason be exploiting this Dick who's so I'm love with a now dead man he clings onto a man who looks like him

oh a little of both I think <33

But is it exploitation to want intimacy? To want to feel safe again? To want to stop lying awake at night angry and bitter and so alone it etches itself into your bones and pumps through your arteries? Is it exploitation to want to feel the warmth of another person around you? To be patient for years and years and heel like a dog only to have the one person who consumed your thoughts suddenly just, disappear? To finally snap and be selfish for once?

[blood-choke]

What are the ROs favorite things to do with mc? What's their dream date day?

their favorite things are biting and gaslighting

[awakenthebeing]

oh to be able to smoosh the face of piepoe like dog...

Hopefully this can be a good squish for you!!

[mlkbwunnies]

oh my God yall .. . i am so spoilt and i have the most wonderful and thoughtful group of friends EVER T_T ♡ thank you so much for all the sweet thoughtful creations for the wedding i am truly so lucky to know u all & to be a recipient of ur love . . . i can't wait for everyone to see them :') i was absolutely floored when i saw them like . . . .WAUHG scene cuts to me being an absolute puddle of a mess!

[stormyoceans]

MONICA!!!! P’Dol from VV in an upcoming GL!!!!

(I googled her and she’s a doctor too!?!?!? Amazing!!!)

https://www.tumblr.com/kit-teung/765245366809624576/evryone-dont-move-theres-finally-a-butchfemme

SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP SPINNING COUNTERCLOCKWISE ON THE CEILING LEVITATING DOCTOR JEAB LALANA A WIFE TO HER WIFE RAISING CORGIS IRL FINALLY GETTING TO BE A GIRLKISSER ON SCREEN AS WELL AND NOT ONLY SHE’S GONNA BE PLAYING THE MAIN CHARACTER IN A GL SERIES BUT THE SHOW IS GONNA BE ABOUT A BODYGUARD WHO HAS THE POWER TO SEE 3 MINUTES INTO THE FUTURE WHEN SHE DRINKS WATER HAVING TO PROTECT A RICH GIRL FROM GETTING KILLED??????

I FUCKING LOVE TO WIN WINNING AND BEING A WINNER THIS IS TRULY THE TYPE OF HIGH I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RECOVER FROM THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINE DOING COCAINE FEELS LIKE THE SHOW LITERALLY HAS EVERYTHING I LOVE IM SO EXCITED FOR IT I SIMPLY CANNOT SIT STILL

i'll be sad if this is really going to be her last work as an actress (thanks @ other(?) anon for the link!!!!!) but by god. WHAT A WAY TO LEAVE THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY

[tickle-bugs]

The Ol' Kentucky Welcome

Summary: Eggsy’s attitude gets him into trouble at Statesman HQ. Whiskey and Tequila show him how they handle mouthy recruits with too much pride.

Anon: Hey!  Love your work.  I was trying to think of something I haven't read.  So, kingsman and golden circle.  Maybe eggsy, whiskey, and Tatum s characters get real drunk one night, start teasing each other and a full out brawl of a tickle fight happens!!!  You can do it!!!  Thanks! 

Loose handwaving at and spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Becoming a Kingsman had done wonders for Eggsy’s impulse control and sense of self. He’s got restraint now, and better judgement—he doesn’t blindly chase a whim without considering the consequences first. 

This is what he tells himself as he poaches a bottle of premium Statesman Reserve whiskey from a supply closet rather ominously labeled ‘This Ain’t For Sharing, Friend’. He makes sure to shuffle the bottles to disguise the large gap left behind on the shelf.

He settles in at the Statesman briefing room table, loosening his tie and shirt collar. He unbuttons his jacket and, in a rare flash of bad manners, kicks his feet up onto one of the nearby chairs.

The thought of Harry scolding him for it tugs at chest. 

“Now what do we have here?” Whiskey whistles lowly, ducking into the doorway. Tequila fits in beside him. Eggsy gives a mocking salute before popping the cork on the bottle. He grabs a polished crystal glass from a platter on the table and pours himself a hefty bit. 

“Looks to me like we’ve got a thief, Whiskey.” Tequila arches his brow. “Y’ain’t learned your lesson yet, Galahad?”

“Gentlemen.” Eggsy smirks and lifts his glass. The sharp kiss of the liquor burns his tongue, but it washes back with a smoky smoothness unlike anything he'd ever tried. He smacks his lips loudly, enjoying the slight twitch of Whiskey’s eyebrow in response.

“Thought you fancy-types were supposed to be polite.” Whiskey puts his hands on his hips. 

“And I thought you brutish types couldn’t make something so delicious.” Eggsy angles the glass in the light. The liquid seems to glow. 

Tequila ducks past Whiskey and takes a seat at the table, helping himself to a glass. He clinks glasses with Eggsy and they share another sip. Both of them sigh in unison, sinking deeper into their chairs. Whiskey throws Eggsy’s feet off his chair and takes a seat. 

“You’re lucky I ain’t reportin’ you to Ginger Ale for theft.” Whiskey fixes himself a glass. He takes off his hat and rests it on the table. He shrugs off his jacket, draping it over the back of the chair.

“Report me for what?” Eggsy cocks his head. “You fine, upstanding gentlemen cracked open a bottle of your own reserve to share with your guest and I just had to say yes. Would hate to be impolite.”

Whiskey glares. Eggsy sips innocently. 

“I like this motherfucker, Whiskey.” Tequila laughs, muffling himself in his fist. Whiskey shifts his glare. 

“‘Course you do. You can’t keep your mug outta trouble to save your life.” 

“Least my mug ain’t ugly,” Tequila grumbles. Eggsy snorts. Whiskey turns to fish for a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket. As he leans forward, a silver shine peeks out of his pants pocket. Eggsy gently plucks a shiny lighter from Whiskey’s pocket and tucks it into his own. 

“Champagne mentioned you’re a cheeky bugger.” Eggsy knocks shoulders with Tequila and winks.

“I dunno what that means.” Tequila frowns. They both watch Whiskey fumble around for the lost lighter and keep smooth, straight expressions. 

“You get into shit. He’s fond of you?” Eggsy gestures at him. Tequila nods. 

“Yeah, well…he wasn’t always. I’ve always been a bit of a firecracker. Didn’t make the best choices. Got people hurt. Built up a reputation for bein’ a problem, and Champagne started makin’ me own it.” Tequila watches his whiskey swirl in his glass. Eggsy hums thoughtfully.

“Sounds like Harry. He didn’t let me get away with shit. If I did something reckless, it was my arse on the line. But sometimes it paid off.” Eggsy smiles and thinks of stealing Harry’s cab on his way out of initiation. 

“To good mentors.” Tequila inclines his head respectfully and raises his glass. Eggsy clinks their glasses together. 

The three of them pass the time draining the bottle and looking out over the twinkling lights of the distillery buildings. A boyish mischief settles into Tequila, one that grows as the liquor in the bottle sinks. Whiskey starts to slur his words, but he maintains a hunter’s focus. 

“Tell me somethin’, Eggsy. What brought you to Kingsman?” Whiskey watches him over the rim of his glass. His stare is piercing. 

“Hm. Harry did. Not so different from Tequila, I reckon. I’d made a right fuckin’ mess and Harry saved me from it. Gave me a job. He saw something in me that no one else did.” Eggsy traces his fingers along the edge of his cup. He glances absently towards Harry’s cell and sighs quickly. Whiskey follows his gaze. 

“Did your lepidopterist friend teach you to have sticky fingers, or do you just like causin’ problems?” Whiskey holds his hand out. Eggsy rolls his eyes and hands over the stolen lighter.

“I’ve always been good at nicking things. S’fun.” Eggsy grins and produces Whiskey’s wallet. Whiskey grumbles under his breath and snatches it. 

“Feels like you’re the only one of your people that ain’t all hoity-toity. What other secrets are you hiding?” Tequila leans forward. The question grates against Eggsy’s better instincts. He searches Tequila’s face for the slightest bit of ill will. All that sticks is the way light catches softly on his eyes. Eggsy hums and turns his eyes to the ceiling to think.

“Well, my girlfriend bein’ a princess isn’t much of a secret anymore, so…I was a gymnast for a bit.” Eggsy grins. Tequila’s eyes light up and he starts snapping in Whiskey’s direction. For each snap, Whiskey gives a disgruntled hm until eventually they’re just swatting at each other. 

“Whiskey, don’t we have them flippy bars down in the gym?” Tequila sniffs, blinking as the liquor hits his sinuses. Eggsy perks up. A spark of excitement picks up atop the warm flush of liquor in his stomach. 

“We do. For Statesman agents. Y’know Rum and Cognac get real touchy ‘bout their stuff.” Whiskey raises an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re workin’ together now, ain’t we? ‘Sides, Rum and Cognac ain’t here. Let’s walk him down there. I wanna see what he can do.” Tequila claps Eggsy on the shoulder. Eggsy gives his best winning smile. Whiskey grumbles, then downs the rest of his glass. 

“Fuck it. Fine. Five minutes.” 

…

They stumble down to the Statesman training facility, passing by a very tired Ginger Ale who opts not to ask why Eggsy’s wearing Tequila’s hat (pretty simple, it’s ‘cause he nicked it). Whiskey puts his thumb to a scanner and the wall unfolds for them. 

The lights click on in rows, lighting the industrial space. Eggsy gasps like a kid on Christmas morning. 

Sophisticated weight training and combat equipment sit in neat rows. Eggsy locks in directly past that, drifting unconsciously towards a heaping pile of chalk bags. Pommel horses, beams, bars, and hanging rings sprawl out on a spring mat, all in pristine condition. A few launchpads and trampolines lay near the equipment. Eggsy laughs incredulously as he takes it in. Nostalgia flutters in his chest. 

Eggsy immediately unbuttons his shirt, folding it cleanly and crisply. He shoves it and the cowboy hat into Tequila’s arms, adjusts his tank top, then works to unlace his shoes. The moment his feet are free, he sprints for one of the springboards. He hits it clean, just like he’d learned, and pushes off the vault, twisting through the air. His landing is a bit messy, but it’s functional, and he takes off to the parallel bars next.

The alcohol writhes in his system, but he doesn’t care. How can he? It’s been years. Coach’d told him he was good enough for the fucking Olympics and he hadn’t touched a set of bars since. The flex of the bars is a comfort to him. He flips and twirls, holding crisp handstands and tucks through muscle memory alone.

He dismounts beautifully from the parallel bars to the pleasant thrum of adrenaline and a smattering of applause. 

“Hoowee, that was somethin’!” Tequila ruffles Eggsy’s hair, destroying the last hold of the gel on his head. Eggsy laughs and swats him away. 

“Hats off to you, kid. Takes a lot of skill to pull that off.” Whiskey nods in respect. Eggsy returns it. 

“I ain’t gonna lie, I thought you were gonna fall on your ass. I’m impressed.” Tequila slugs his shoulder with a brassy laugh. 

“Thanks, Tequila.” Eggsy grins roguishly. “Mind givin’ me a boost?” 

“Sure.” Tequila follows Eggsy over to the high bar. Whiskey loudly clears his throat. 

“Boys, this has been…eye-openin’, but we really should get goin’. Early start tomorrow, I imagine. And this one’ll be fit to collapse when the time difference catches up.” Whiskey inclines his head towards Eggsy. 

“Sorry, bruv? Can’t hear you all the way over there.” Eggsy gestures to his ear with a cheeky grin. 

“I said—“

“No, no. If you have something to say, come whisper it in my fucking ear.” Eggsy snickers, hearing Merlin’s voice in his head. Whiskey rolls his eyes and saunters over. 

“Look, I respect you ‘cause Champagne respects you. Other than that, you’re still a brat that oughta fall into line. Let’s turn in for the night. Both of you.” Whiskey raises his eyebrow. The honey tones of his voice make his annoyance all the more amusing. 

“What’re you gonna do about it? Get me with your skipping rope?” Eggsy smirks. Tequila mutters a quiet aw hell and takes a step back. 

“Maybe I will, you little shit.” 

Eggsy comes to terms with a number of things about himself in that moment, and he puts them all away to process sober. Instead, he gestures for Tequila to give him a hand and reaches up for the bar. 

Tequila picks him up by the waist, and it’s not the smooth, assisted lift he’s used to. It’s the clumsy grip of a drunk surprised by weight. Tequila does lift Eggsy up to the bar, but at the cost of his dignity— he spasms and makes a high-pitched noise when Tequila’s fingers press into his waist.  

In hindsight, he should’ve seen the way Whiskey’s eyes narrowed at that. 

“What the hell was that?” Tequila squints up at him. 

“Nothin’. Thought you were gonna drop me. Bugger off.” Eggsy kicks weakly in Tequila’s direction. He backs up, hands raised. Whiskey steps in, hands on his belt. 

“Get off the bar, Eggsy.” Whiskey sniffs authoritatively. The logical Kingsman agent buried in Eggsy’s brain sets off warning bells, but Drunk Eggsy, who is obviously of much sounder mind, ignores it. 

“Make me, Whiskey.” Eggsy starts to swing in the space he has. Not enough to kick anyone, but enough to look like he will. He manages to rotate clumsily around the bar once, then hangs back down in front of Whiskey. 

“You want me to embarrass you in front of your new friend? Okay.” Whiskey steps up to Eggsy and makes a show of sizing him up. Then, quicker than the draw of his pistols, his hands latch onto Eggsy’s sides and squeeze until he’s screaming and plummeting off the bar. Eggsy’s short life flashes before his eyes as he falls bodily into Tequila’s arms. 

“Are you fucking mental?” Eggsy goes to shove Whiskey, but Tequila holds him back. 

“Woah, watch that mouth of yours!” Whiskey laughs, eyes glittering. “You told me to make you. Your wish is my command, friend.”

Eggsy kicks, trying to break Tequila's hold, and he catches Whiskey right in the balls. He makes a noise like a wounded donkey and folds over. Eggsy snickers. Whiskey whips his reddening face up and glares. 

“Now you’ve done it. Tequila!” Whiskey tosses something his way and he catches it. Eggsy barely has time to react before his arms are bound and hoisted in the air above his head. His toes brush the ground. The bar above him creaks in protest but does not give. 

Whiskey puts his hands on his hips again. Eggsy wonders if that’s a cowboy thing or an American one. 

“Skippin’ rope, bitch.” Whiskey grins, sharklike. “Now…you done with the whole insubordination routine or am I gonna have to give you the ol’ Kentucky Welcome?” 

Eggsy snorts derisively. He tests his bindings. They hold steady. Fear starts to pierce through his liquid courage. 

“I’m honored, bruv, but I’m in a committed relationship—“

Whiskey clicks his tongue and crowds into Eggsy’s space. He immediately steels himself for violence—what else would there be besides violence? He’s been jumped before. He’s no stranger to the predatory tilt of Whiskey’s head. He sets his jaw and glares. 

“When Tequila first joined up, he carried a bit of them clownin’ instincts with him. That didn’t fly with Champagne. We had to figure out a way to take him down a few pegs without hurtin’ him. So, the Kentucky Welcome was born.” 

“Aw, fuck you, Whiskey. Seriously, man.” Tequila pipes up from behind Eggsy. 

“What does this have to do with me? I know you Americans love to hear yourself talk, but I’m not interested.” Eggsy tries to pull free. Nothing. Whiskey’s gaze gets softer, more mischievous. The change is deeply unnerving. 

“Well, you remind me of Tequila. You’ve clearly got a good head on your shoulders, but you’re a little shit. So I’m gonna deal with you the same way we used to deal with him. Last chance, kid. You comin’ quietly or are we gonna have to drag you?” 

Eggsy flinches when Whiskey reaches for him—years of habit die hard—and prepares himself for the hard crunch of knuckles into his ribs. Instead, he’s met with a gentle and persistent scritching. 

A confused noise bubbles up at the back of Eggsy’s throat, quickly chased by a wobbly smile. He ducks his head and bites his lip. 

Oh what the fuck? 

Kingsman had taught him to resist the most painful and stressful of scenarios, but they’d never taught him what to do about this. Tilde’s maybe the only person who knows that he’s ticklish, and even then…he can convince her to let him go by kissing her senseless. Eggsy doubts that’ll work here. 

“Uh oh, Galahad. Don’t tell me something’s botherin’ you?” Whiskey presses an insincere hand to his heart. Eggsy’s brain stutters for a moment as he realizes that Tequila’s the one scratching at his ribs. 

“Fffffuck you.” Eggsy exhales sharply through his nose and closes his eyes--nope, that’s worse. So much worse. 

Whiskey tickles under his arms and Eggsy yelps, bright laughter tumbling after. It shouldn’t be this bad—Tilde’s done far worse to him in jest, but somehow the teasing grin of his begrudging allies gets under his skin. His arms flex as he tries to pull himself up and away, but his strength collapses with every breath. 

“Aw, y’all are twins.” Whiskey leans around Eggsy to smirk at Tequila. 

“Whiskey.” Tequila’s languished tone being hilarious really doesn’t help things. Eggsy’s entire face scrunches as he tries to find his way back towards composure. A hiccup sneaks into his chest, and then he’s giggling incessantly. His chest feels like the sparklers he’d run around with as a kid, bright and fizzling and dissolving with every breath. 

“Y’know, I wish I had tried this when I first caught y’all. Prolly woulda gone a hell of a lot faster.” Tequila’s voice floats past Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy manages a giggly growl and a halfhearted headbutt in his direction. Tequila tuts at him and folds his fingers into Eggsy’s waistline. 

He makes a noise at a pitch that threatens to shatter every lightbulb in the room. Tequila’s calloused fingers strum Eggsy’s nerves like guitar strings and it tickles, fucking shit—

Tequila hooks his fingers just so and Eggsy kicks. Whiskey snags his ankle before a second devastating impact can occur. They make tortuous eye contact. 

“Whiskey—“ Eggsy attempts to appeal to the cowboy’s humanity with what Merlin fondly calls his nuclear puppy eyes. 

Grinning wickedly, Whiskey shakes his head and reaches for his trapped foot. 

Eggsy’s eyes bug out of his head. 

He wrenches his leg free, twists his hands, and flips upwards. Managing a gold-worthy handstand into a dismount, he frees his wrists and lands smoothly. Eggsy playfully curtsies. Tequila starts to clap. Whiskey smacks him upside the head.

“Alright, I’m done playin’ around. Grab him. If we’re caught down here at this hour it’ll be my hide.” Whiskey gestures for Tequila to step in. He does so, still a little off-kilter from the liquor. 

Eggsy rushes in, expecting a clumsier rendition of the fighting style he’d been so painfully introduced to. Instead, Tequila smoothly blocks his blows and hoists Eggsy over his shoulder like a sack of fucking potatoes. One of his arms locks behind Eggsy’s thighs as they start to walk for the door. It takes him a moment to even process being upside-down. The sway of Tequila’s gait shakes some blood into his brain.

“Aw, y’all are twins.”

“—deal with you the same way we used to deal with him—“

A lightbulb clicks on in Eggsy’s head. He shouldn’t…but he could…but he shouldn’t—

He shoves his hands under Tequila’s arms. Before he can blink or breathe, they’re in a heap on the ground. Tequila’s cackling dead weight presses the air from Eggsy’s chest.

“Thought you’d put up more of a fight, bruv.” Eggsy’s eyebrows raise. Tequila shrieks at him in response. Eggsy manages to wiggle free and hop lightly to his feet as Tequila gathers his wits. 

“There’s one of you and two of us. Be wise.” Whiskey cracks his neck. Eggsy looks over at Tequila and smirks devilishly. Tequila pales. 

“I like those odds.” 

The flurry of motion as they charge each other sets off the ‘fight’ center in his brain, but there is some comfort in knowing no harm is on the table. Eggsy flips and twists out of their grasp, taking advantage of his flexibility to pull off increasingly ridiculous dodges. He neatly sweeps both Whiskey and Tequila’s legs out from under them. 

“Little help?” Whiskey gestures lamely at Tequila. 

“Nah, I’m done. Y’all are nuts.” Tequila lays on his back, putting his hat down over his face. He folds his arms behind his head. Whiskey curses at him. Tequila gives him the finger. 

Whiskey grabs Eggsy by the back of the shirt--really, he should know better--and Eggsy sweeps him again. Whiskey’s ready for it this time, though, and he manages a pin faster than Eggsy can roll away. Whiskey plants himself on Eggsy’s back like he’s settling on a bull. 

“Aren’t you tired? Goddamn.” Whiskey sighs. Eggsy winces at the texture of the mat against his cheek. 

It reminds him of Roxy and agonizing training sessions, of hours of sweat and bruising and his face stinging from being slammed into the mat. Even past the wave of grief, he remembers the shape of her smile when she would lecture him about letting her pin him on his stomach. 

“Indefensible,” she’d say, prodding the back of his ribs. “You’re a sitting duck like this.”

And every time he’d roll his eyes, hooking his fingers behind her knees--

Oh. Hm. 

As best as he can, he reaches back and latches onto Whiskey’s thigh, squeezing just above his knee. Whiskey hollers and tries to phase right through the floor. Eggsy rolls them over and pursues, squeezing and squeezing until Whiskey is a wheezing pile on the floor. 

Eggsy flips onto his feet. He knows he’s imagining the fond, ghostly squeeze on his shoulder, but he puts his hand on the spot anyways. 

“Now I’m tired. Goodnight, fellas.” Eggsy salutes with a wide grin, stepping over both cowboys. He gathers his belongings and saunters for the door, whistling pleasantly. 

Whiskey rubs a hand over his face as he stares up at the ceiling.

“Kid’s fuckin’ lucky I like him,” Whiskey grumbles, pushing himself up onto his elbows. 

“Might not wanna speak too soon. He took your hat.” Tequila puts his own ten-gallon back on his head and gestures towards the door with a whistle. Whiskey growls and shoots to his feet. 

“Motherfucker! Eggsy!”

[crossbackpoke-check]

the pics of morgan and joel are from travis sanheim's wedding this weekend!

^^^me experiencing the one-two knockout punch of “oh they WERE each other’s wedding date” followed by the realization that sanny finally got married 🥹😭 cheers indeed!!!

[hotdrinks]

you always have the best thoughts on him so in your opinion whats the martin blackwood song ever

Hiii thank you so much that's so kind!! You asked for one song so my top three is

1. Baby Hotline - Jack Stauber (obvi)

2. I'll Come Running to Tie Your Shoe - Brian Eno (like season 1-3 era)

3. Human Bog - Baths (sad)