#but than i thought what if he isnt dead
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#art#so i thought my dad died and in my thoughtsni tried to resurect him with magic i know its stupid but what you do when you think your father#is dead alone in another country#but than i thought what if he isnt dead#he wasnt#but my spell would actually work#and it would just make a new father figure for me#bc dad may be still alive but he still not much here#where was i#anyway
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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calling bruce jason's 'father figure' should be illegal. jason is his son. he was literally even legally adopted. "father figure" my ass that's his dad ???
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#bruce wayne#i find the redhood&batman conflict most interesting and well-done when there isnt any question abt the father/son dynamic#like 'yeah that's my dad. batman. why the fuck didnt he avenge me fuck that guy'#and 'oh my son is back from dead. he's a murderer now. what the fuck jason'#what next. calling bruce damian's 'father figure' ???#nothing wrong w father figures ofc but its just. not what's going on there imo#jason&bruce being father and son before being batman and robin is everything i love abt them#(not 'before' as in chronologically but 'before' as in in importance)#(batman didn't lose robin. bruce lost his son. yknow??)#also im having so many constant thoughts and opinions that i've resorted to scheduling posts for a later time lmao#this is more abt fanon than whatever we're considering canon in the comics rn. just as a disclaimer
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Watch
(2,984 words)
Gregory dies saving the Pizzaplex from the virus. In return, Evan saves Gregory by giving him the gift of life. Evan is done with just watching. (warnings: major character (child) death (gregory), implied murder, implied stabbing, blood.
Evan had to go fight his Father on his own.
Vanessa had been too incapacitated. Too distraught to come along. She'd woken up not too long after Gregory had freed her, hair greasy and wirey and body weak, knees wobbly. It had only gotten worse after she'd seen the cost.
Theres nothing Evan could have helped with. All he could do is finish things.
His Father had gone down easily. Theres not much you can do as an animatronic on the brink of collapse, no matter how much of your virus is spread across the network. No matter how many brute machines you have at your command. Its hard to kill somebody whose already dead. To hurt somebody who isnt tangible.
All Evan had to do was call in a favor.
The amalgamation hadn't needed any more than a promise. It had thrown itself at his Father, giving itself up to secure that his Father is gone forever. For good.
Evan had promised to set the fire. He knows that Freddy has a lighter in his finger. He knows that his Father is stuck, and is at Evan's will.
Evan has the power to take the call, here. He can set the fire whenever he wants. He gets to choose when it all ends.
He hasn't, yet. He just needs to see Gregory again.
Vanessa has barely moved by the time Evan phases through floors, arriving back in Vannys old hideout. Shes sitting up, but unmoving. Before, her shoulders shook harshly with barely contained grief.
Now, it's like shes empty. Like there's nothing left of her.
After what was lost to free her, Evan understands why.
He can barely look, once he floats next to Vanessa. Gregory is right where Evan had left him, still laid flat on the linoleum tile under Vanessa's hunched form.
Shes almost curled around him, as if to protect him. He cant be protected much, anymore. But he deserves to have whats left of him taken care of.
It hurts so much more than the others when Evan forces himself to look. Nothings changed; Gregory is still unmoving, eyes open and unseeing. The knife is discarded to their left, tossed in some corner to rot.
The floor is a mess. Gregorys blood stains every crevice. His blue shirt is barely recognizable, violent rips and tears litter the area near his stomach, and blood stains the fabric a sickening black.
Evan stares at his face. It doesnt so much as twitch.
He knows better than to beg. He knows better than to hope, or plead, or wish.
He's dead. Evan knows. He's known this whole time. He knew when he'd gone off to fight his Father. To get revenge.
Gregory's dead.
It hurts so much more than the others.
Evan floats downwards, sitting by Gregory's body next to Vanessa as much as he can as a ghost. She doesn't seem to register that hes there, just staring blankly at Gregory. At the empty husk of the boy Evan had just begun to know.
Shes already expressed her grief. She'd yelled and screamed and sobbed when he'd still been alive, clinging to life by a thread, but despite Vanessa's attempts, he'd died in her arms.
They'd only shared little words before it was over.
They'd watched as the life left his eyes. Evan watched as Gregory went still in that way only dead people can. He'd watched as Vanessa fell apart.
It hurt so much more than the others.
He'd just been getting to know Gregory. He'd only scraped the surface. He'd only known Gregory for six hours, but he'd felt like he'd known him for a lifetime.
He'd just been getting to know him, and Evan had been planning to stick around. He'd been planning to follow Gregory. He'd been planning to take the one child who'd been brave enough, smart enough, to survive, and lead him to the source.
Hed been planning on finally doing something. He'd been planning on ending it all, and saving one child out of it. He'd been planning on being done with watching, and doing something about it. He'd tried to help the others, to guide them where it mattered, help them survive, but they'd been snuffed out before they could begin.
And all Evan could do is watch.
He's so tired of just watching.
"Gr-- Gree-- Gregory..." Freddys voice filters out of the watch, crackling and glitching. "Gregor-- ory-- Please tell me you are saf-- fe. I cannot re-- each you--"
Something snaps in Evan, at that. Freddy doesn't know. Freddy had tried so hard, like Evan had, to save someone. To save one person after so many were lost.
Evan has seen Freddy. Hes seen them all. Hes seen how they all wake up the next day horrified at the blood under their claws, and the memories of murdering burned into their code. Evan has seen how all Freddy's been able to do is watch as he's hijacked, unable to fight back, and forced to sit backseat in his own body.
This time had been different. Freddy had been spared. Freddy had fought for Gregory. Freddy didnt just watch this time.
Evan doesnt want to just watch anymore.
Evan's stomach burns, normally, his soul is cold, as lifeless ghosts are. Just a figment of who he used to be.
So unlike the chill hes used too, how unfeeling he usually is, warmth bursts in his stomach, at hot as fire, and it swirls. Unfurling and spreading.
It tingles, prickling and sharp, and to Evan, somehow, it feels like an invitation.
Evan had been the first. He'd been there for it all. He'd been there when Charlie had died. He'd been there when she had given life to the other children. He'd been there when they'd all lost their humanity. He'd been there for the first fire, the second, and soon, the third.
Evan had been the first.
His chest burns with intensity, hot and bubbling.
Gregory will be the last.
He welcomes it; the simmering feeling underneath the film of numbness. It claws to escape, and Evan let's it.
He curls inward, a burst of light shining from his body, and at its warmth, it's like Vanessa comes back to life. She jerks when a glow spreads across the room, twisting her neck to watch it with wide eyes.
He cups his hands gently, shutting his eyes and reaching inward.
The Remnant responds to him. It hears him. It hears his grief, his wishes, and his determination.
Like the others, Gregory never deserved to die. Like the others, he'd been lost to his Father. Like the others, he'd been lost to a long string of tragedy that began on the day Evan died.
His chest opens, a yellow, pinprick of light seeping out and into his hands.
Unlike the others, Gregory will be the last.
Evan holds the remnant gently as can be, and ignores the blatant emptiness inside of him. He ignores how much weaker he feels. He ignores how he essentially just halved his life force.
Instead, he offers the life to Gregory's body, like giving a gift.
It receives it.
The light seeps into Gregory's body, spreading across his injuries and soaking in. Light crawls across his skin, spiderwebbing and stitching skin and flesh together.
The light mends Gregory's body, fixing what had been broken.
Evan never thought that anything involved with his Father could be good. That it could help instead of hurt.
But when Vanessas lights up as Gregory's eyes ignite with life, all gifted by the warmth in Evan's soul, he thinks it's not the magic that's bad, but the man who wields it.
Its agonizing; waiting those few seconds for Gregory to wake up, but the shine that had re-entered his eyes only grows brighter when he gasps harshly, jerking to life.
With a cry of joy, Evan shoots forward, attempting a hug as much as he can as a ghost. At the same time, Vanessa sobs with barely contained relief and reaches out, pulling Gregory out of the puddle of his own blood and setting him gently against her chest.
Evan meets his eyes, and man, do they look exhausted, but they also look alive. Evan cant contain the grin on his face when Gregory's eyes dart to him, seeing but not. Hes still in that stage between floaty and aware, but Evan waits for him.
It only takes a moment for Gregory himself to understand, but then hes clutching back, breaths deep, life laced within every intake of air.
Vanessa is crying. Shoulder shaking sobs that leave tracks down the dirt and blood on her face, and snot smudged across her cheek.
He doesnt blame her. Evan feels more alive than he has in a long time.
"You--" Gregory rasps out before coughing, but despite the fact, it's the most beautiful sound Evan's heard in years. Compared to the last words Gregory spoke before now being goodbyes. "You saved me."
Evan knows that Gregory knows. He knows everything. When Evan shared a piece of himself with Gregory, it connected them. Their souls are entertwined, now.
Evan feels the remnants of true fear deep inside Gregory of truly dying. He feels the relief that its over. He feels the accomplishment that nobody else will be lost.
Evan knows Gregory knows his feelings, as well. Evan knows Gregory feels the grief for the others. He knows he feels the satisfaction of sending his Father back to Cassidy. He knows he feels the anger at being forced to observe for so long.
So Evan just nods, the permanent tears on his face growing thicker and inkier. "I did."
And it's as simple as that.
Gregorys tucked under Vanessa's chin, her stringy hair falling out of what used to be a ponytail. Shes still sobbing, and Evan doesnt think she'd be able to do much of anything right now.
That's okay. Evan knows Vanessa had cried for the others, too. He knows Vanessa had been horrified at the memories. He knows shed been lost for years.
"You're you?" Gregory asks, weak and thready. He brings up a shaky hand and sets it on Vanessa's arm. Shes still wearing the bunny suit; she hadn't had it in her to tear it off when the only thing shed been focused on was the kid who saved her dying in her arms.
All Vanessa does is nod, over and over, almost deliriously. "Yes--" She sobs. "Because-- Because of you."
And its right there that Evan let's himself relish in the fact that they're all here. After watching so much grief and tragedy take place, its finally over. Gregory saved them, and now Evan was able to save Gregory.
He laughs in delight, feeling more hope and warmth than he has in a long time.
Three victims sit in a circle, relieved and alive.
"Gr-r--" Gregory's watch sputters to life, staticky and warbling. "Gregory-- I'm so worried about yo-- you-- P-P-Please respo--"
Three sets of eyes blow open.
"Freddy!"
👻
Gregory and Evan had been alone together all night. Freddy wasnt able to follow them everywhere, and Gregory, with that determination that saved them that night, carried them far. Deep into the belly of the beast.
But its only when they finally haul themselves up when the clock gets a little too close to six, hop in Vanessa's car, and hightail it to her apartment that Gregory and Evan are alone again.
Vanessa, with a little more energy in her step, had followed through with her promise. Before they'd left, she said she would set the fire. All she wanted to do is take care of a few things. Freddy went along with her, wanting to collect his friends when they wake up free of the virus.
It's just the two of them, now. They're sitting (floating, in Evan's case) on Vanessa's couch, Gregory is eating some cereal, since its all Vanessa had on hand, and hes wearing one of Vanessa's too-big shirts when his had been too ruined to keep.
Theres some cartoon on the TV about a girl and a weird blue floating blob, but Evan isnt paying attention. Not when Gregory is staring at his bowl with furrowed brows, lost in thought.
Evan can tell he wants to say something, so he just sits patiently, and stays quiet when Gregory eventually starts opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the words.
"Evan--" Gregory begins eventually, and when Evan looks over, Gregory's looking at the carpet instead of him. "Um... can I ask you something?"
Evan nods. "Of course."
"Kay." Gregory responds, and then sighs, scratching the back of his neck and fiddling with the fold of fabric where his stomach is. "Uh... well..."
Evan stays silent, waiting for Gregory to gather his thoughts. Evan had hated it when people rushed him when he spoke while he was alive. He wasnt stupid, just nervous.
Eventually, Gregory throws his hands down and huffs, as if biting the bullet. He turns to Evan, looking him in the eyes as he asks, "Why did you save me?"
Evan blinks, and looks at Gregory, confused. They'd already communicated everything when Gregory woke up. "What do you mean?"
Gregory fidgets again, glancing to the side and looking frustrated. "Well-- I mean... just, why did you choose me?"
Evan furrows his brows. "Um... I dont understand."
Gregory growls, but Evan can sense it's not at him, just at Gregory's own scrambled thoughts. He rubs at his eyes, before, "I mean--!. eight other kids went missing before me."
Evan starts to get it. "Oh."
"Just... why did you save me?" Gregory asks again, a little more surely this time. "Like... you literally gave up half of your life force just so I wouldnt die. You met so many other kids that didnt make it... I... just want to know why you see me as so special to sacrifice for."
Evan shakes his head, twisting in place to better face Gregory. He tries to convey so much in one motion, his brain swirling with thoughts, and remnants of feeling from past memories.
"Gregory..." Evan glances downward, an old feeling of grief coming back. It's his old friend at this point. "...Nobody deserved to die. Nobody. But... in a way, some of us didnt. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I'm technically living, arent I?"
Gregory nods, but he looks confused. "Yeah, I would say so. But what does this have to do with what I said?"
Evan looks at the couch, watching as his fingers phase through the cushion. "I mean... the others, they died, but they didnt leave. They were still there, but... they weren't living. Bit by bit, they lost themselves, until they really were as good as dead."
Gregory is silent, so Evan continues. "I didnt feel like I was living for a long time, even though I technically wasnt dead. I had my friend. That's what we had that the others didnt. That's how we held on. But when she left... I had to stay for her to, as well, and I was stuck. I couldn't see my family. I was living, but I didnt want to be. I was living, but didnt have a life."
Evan glances up, and sees Gregory's own face looking back at him, eyes sad. Evan frowns, feeling decades of memories creep back up on him. He shoves them down. "All I did was watch tragedy and death occur for years, while I was alone. And I couldnt do a thing about it."
"You were done just watching." Gregory mumbles.
Evan nods. "...I was. So when you came along, and you survived, and dodged death, and saved everybody... you didnt deserve to die. More than the others. After all youd done, you deserved to live."
Theres a stretch of silence, after that. Evan has patience to spare, so when Gregory just stares, probably turning Evan's words over in his head, he waits.
After a while, Gregory tries to set a hand on Evan's shoulder, but it phases through. Gregory frowns, eyes downcast as he stares at his body dissipating at Gregory's touch, falling away like sand. "You havent felt alive in a long time, huh...?"
Theres that connection, again. Evan's gonna have to get used to this; he hasnt been connected to someone this way since Cassidy.
He nods, but in the melancholy, he smiles, and looks pointedly at Gregory. "Yeah," He agrees. "but that changed."
Gregory understands quickly. Evan pushed all of his feelings and earnesty towards that seemingly now permanent sense of Gregory presence, after all. He looks suprised, if his wide eyes are any indication, but then he finally sees the undeniable smile on Evans face, and Evan can sense that Gregory believes him.
Tears swim in Gregory's eyes, and he wipes at them half heartedly, grin on his face. He chuckles wetly. "Would you believe me if I said nobody has ever said something like that to me?"
Evan fractures, smiling. "Not really. I doubt you've met a lot of other dead people."
"Youd be right." Gregory replies. "Man, I wish I could hug you. It doesnt feel right just letting you sit there and be all... ghosty after saying something like that."
Evan chuckles at that, smile wide. "Put your arms around me."
Gregory raises a brow, but does it anyway.
It's funny. How Gregory, a boy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time saved the ones at the heart of the tragedy. He saved everyone without being involved himself, and Evan cant help but feel like Gregory saved him as well, in a way.
And Evan, who shuts his eyes and brings forth every ounce of power he has as a poltergeist, let's his body fall against another solid one, and sink into the hug.
ao3 link
#i kinda just wanted to explore evans character.#he isnt present in the day of security breach (he finally got some rest thank god)#but i imagine it would be even more miserable than before.#before#he had cassidy after a few years of being completely alone#but he had to watch the others become like animals#save for charlie.#now#he knows his family is dead#and that theyre waiting for him. but he has to stay tethered to the real world because of cassidy#shes determined to keep afton in hell#but when glitchtrap was created (its what we thought before ruin. w glitchtrap being afton but not actually him) he rained hell upon the pi#and hes forced to stay miserable and away from his family for her. plus he has to watch other children die without being able to do anythin#i just think it would be really awful. hes lost his tether#he probably felt empty for a long time. years and years. but then gregory comes along and he has somebody again :)#imagine 3 star fam happens as normal but now with evan!#he and gregory are soul bonded now and basically brothers lol. remnant brothers. golden duo just became golden triplets#flashlight duo#my fics#pandas writes#gregory and evan#evan afton#fnaf gregory#fnaf fic#blood warning#death warning#knife warning#stabbing warning#stabbing mention#implied death
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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Me not experiencing any attraction: damn it seems fun kind of wish I did... Lemme pick who I WOULD have a crush on... Trick(??) myself into (thinking I am??) having feelings towards them.
Me experiencing genuine attraction: UMMM what is this i don't know how to deal with this how do i turn it off?
#and yall. i think its mainly just aesthetic attraction. cuz i dont want anything with them i just feel Attracted#literally i thought yall were miscatergorizing aesthetic APPRECIATION b4 bc it didnt feel#personal at all -- i didnt feel ATTRACTED. well guess what turna oitu can be#aeathetically attracted. i just wasnt#i DO have a type btw and its 'archetype' 'idea' or 'image of ''''perfection'''''' lol#i said this#aspec#attraction#ummm i waa gomna add smth but i forget what....#OH YEAH the reason iget so caught up in thus is that#any normal perso n would whsiper to their feiend 'hes hot' and move on#but I'm out as aroace - arospec yes but this sort of complicarion isnt the kind anyone is expecting#the last anyone knows is that A YEAR (or more) ago i kinda had a vrush on and kinda wanted to be crushboy#as far as those ppl know thats dead#and more ppl than that last knew me as attracted to GIRLS and/or GNC ppl four years ago#bc this is more an incidental stuff within my prvious understanding of my arozpec ness i feel like it'd be coming out to tell ppl#and lets be real noboy wants to hear abt how i find Guy Number 20 and 23 in our grade cute#its just very mudane to allos i believe#(i assume others would assume my Thing with crushboy would ne dead given that i have not rementioned)
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i have to ask about bump-up business: are Mill and Nine actually okay at acting? because when i watched the trailer i was like ummm.....
yes and no? as a lyon its pretty easy to tell that theyre acting, but i think they did okay with what they were given. its less of "are they good at acting" and more of "is the script good"— which, no it isnt. It kinda suffers from being a low-budget manhwa adaption, so a lot of their lines aren't exactly what real people would do in real life, and I think some of the editing did them dirty (ie not cutting out moments where they are clearly getting ready to say their line). it kinda gave me student film levels of acting. they know what theyre doing but they could use some workshopping. they did get better as the show went on, though!
that being said, yoojung and kyubin did fucking amazing. yoojung especially was a stand-out for me. he wasn't in the show too much, only near the end, but comparing his acting to nine and mill... uh yeah hes definitely better than them as of now
#sorry this reply is probably a lot longer than you expected#i just have a lot of thoughts!#i think if the script was better and if they actually edited out the dead air#it would have been much better#it also took a bit to get used to wookjin talking in a lower voice so maybe thats what threw me off for his character#but like i said during my liveblogging— even if mill isnt the best actor he does an amazing job portraying a polite and sunny little guy#it was still fun to watch and especially fun to make fun of 👍#moonflowerglowing#answered
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making that WF video was like. reminding me how much and how deeply Mo cared for Lee it hurts soo so so bad
#If I had one main critisism of the series its that the arc between them didnt feel completed#Like Mo doesnt get a good death and Lee had a breakdown over it but only on twitter#where up to this point most if not all of what was said on twitter was also said in video descriptions and videos themselves#I do think how Lee acts in the start of s3 is a reflection of how Mo and to an extent seans deaths had affected him. we know that a lot of#that change was actually because of the speaker and the time he was captured by the family#I just think Mo should have been able to have his own send off rather than it being tacked onto Seans death#which completed his story#(I have my own feelings about sean but thats not what this post is about)#as well as being able to get more personal moments with Lee after Mos death sort of how we see some of how Mo was coping with assuming Lee#was dead (it was badly)#anyway I could write a comprehensive essay post but ranting in the tags will do bc only#I care about these two <- insane#I could make several posts about characters from WF i do wish it was finished#its not a perfect series by any means but I do very much love almost everything about it#its kinda like. the perfect length and speed. its good if you want something interesting and bite sized that isnt a time sink like emh or mh#okay im done for real now sorry I have a lot of thoughts and no one asked by I need to speak#.txt
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Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?
when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol
For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/
i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........
uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).
#ask#thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333#if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol#also im making a new tag for this au ->#two disasters au#bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell#also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit-#okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness#she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others#so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your#friend. what the FUCK guys'#its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys'#and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she#doesnt do that.#and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin#she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him#and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help#she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately#the same applies to her gender#when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he#(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns#she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more#to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and#hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse)#so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight#wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly#does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn
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literally everyone in the games: WOAH CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT KID SURVIVED?!
50% of the fandom: ....and then he died and became golden freddy OOOOHHHH I GET ITTTT matpat youre so smart
#txt#WHY WOULD THERE BE A POINT TO KEEP REPEATING OVER AND OVER AND OVER THAT THE BITE VICTIM SURVIVED#AND HOW AMAZING AND IMPRESSIVE IT IS AND BIZARRE IT IS#AND THEN ALSO HAVE MICHAELS WHJOLE THING BE#'WOAH ISNT IT CRAZY HE SURVIVED THAT?!'#AND BABYS WHOLE 'YOU WONT DIE' THING?!#OR THE FACT THAT THE PROTAG IN FNAF 4 IS CANONICALLY MICHAEL AND IS HBALLUCINATING HOSPITAL EQUIPTMENT AND THE NIGHTMARE FREDBEARS#WHY WOULD GOLDEN FREDDY BE THE ONLY CONSISTANTLY HALLUCINATED ANIMATRONIC IF NOT A HALLUCINATION FROM THE CCS POV#OR THE BOOK THAT MIKE CANONICALLY OWNED HAVE QURESTIONS IN IT DIRECTED AT *SOMEONE WHOD NEVER READ THE BOOK?!*#YOURE TELLING ME THEMATICALLY. LITERARILY. THAT THE THEMES FIT BETTER IF#THE CRYING CHILD RANDOMLY FUCKING DROPPED DEAD DESPITE IT ALL?!#DESPITE BEING TOLD HR WAS GOING TO BE PUT BACK TOGETHER?! BYU WILLIAM!? WHO IS WORKING ON A WAY TO STAY ALIVE FOREVER?! WHICH TURNS HIM INT#A ZOMBIE. AND MICHAEL *ALSO* ENDS UP TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE. WHY WOULD WILL NEED TO USE THE REMNANT ON HIM HM?!#HM?!#BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW THE ONLY REASON HED USE IT ON MIKE IS IF HE THOUGHT MIEK WAS GOING TO DIE#AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO MAKE HIM THINK THAT THAN A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCEEEEEE AFTER HE ALREADY LOST HIS OTHER KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I FEEL LIKE ITS LIKE COME ON GUYS ITS BEEN WHAT. WHAT?! 5 YEARS?!#JUST ADMIT YOU DONT WANT A DISABLED PROTAGONIST
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'im gonna sleep' he lied
#snap chats#i love making the main text Bullshit and then putting the actual post below. ive said this before but idc its my art#its like... the main text is the title and the tags is the actual article.... does that make sense#i should sleep my eyes are heavy but im being tormented by concepts i want to execute#gotta apologize for all the arasawa posting as of late but ive been enabled#tbh on the lowest of keys i did post bout them on occasion in the past but. but now it's feel-speed ahead#twt has been driving me insane so i just need to hop aboard me other boat yk what im saying... please say you do i refuse to elaborate#for the sake of the people i wont but man if you know you know#anyways. the actual meat of this text post See All That Preamble Shit is meant to deter people. it is a warning#'i am bring cringe down here do not look. wait for it to be art so it's harder to ignore'#'snap i thought you didnt like sharing things if you were gonna do something with it' ok well the delusions are strong tonight#and im too tired to do anything and ill prob be too brain dead to do anything tomorrow LET ME SPEAK#ok cringe time. i just think jo gradually accepting physical affection can be something so personal and good SUE. me.#and when i say 'gradually' it will be ten years before he accepts it and even so it'll be quietly#i think by his 20's hes beyond flinching/wincing at random contact- or at the very least he's very good at suppressing the reflex to#more so if its not something like a handshake- like just casual contact- i imagine he's more confused than anything#i had friends who were obsessed with like. hugs and holding hands and those things always had me like ???#i imagine Same Shit for him ☠️ 'this isnt a bad thing but this isnt something im familiar with What Is???? this feels weird.'#im gonna make myself throw up thinking anymore about this. i be making these hardened yakuza men sweet and sentimental#twitter really is decaying my brain....#let me be worse. cause i hope arakawa introducing that sort of physical affection rubs off on jo. no where near the same level as arakawa#but itd be SOO funny if like.. jo starts walking close enough to occasionally bump shoulders with him#i hope when arakawa starts nodding off in the car and ''''accidentally''' lays his head on his shoulder he stops tensing up#heaven forbid jo even rests his cheek against arakawa. id be ill#Let Me Clutch My Pearls For This One i hope when they hold hands jo starts to hold arakawa's a lil tighter than he used to#just very /very/ little things like that. very little things that'll still make me insane I'M DELU-LU TONIGHT SORRRYYYYY#expect more of this bullshit but. in art form in the future. whether it writing or drawing idk i just need it#i need it injected right into my veins its my weakness your honor TAKE ME AWAY i AM guilty for making the scary gangsters cute#ok im pissing off fr now bye.
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so, this blew up on twitter (currently at 15k+ notes and still going ..) which completely blindsided me and now i cant draw again as if i was burnt out right away AGAIN and its rly annoying :I
also on twitter one person called me the r slur on it though and i just blocked them without understanding why they said that .. until i got another one earlier today that said "fuck off with your pronouns and just go make political art" and i realized oh ... people getting mad at pronouns are real after all, its such a non problem to me i didnt see how there was anything offensives about this until that second one spelled it out xD
Empress and her Bodyguard.
(OCs, grey haired lady Zaphira she/her, demon Shargon he/they)
(also some details up close)
and this guy bc i find him funny
#ganondoodles#art#also weirdly enough its doing better on bluesky than on tumblr#like the share to like ratio is much healthier over there for some reason#despite me having only barely 600 followers when i posted it there#(on twitter im at 22k+ and here its 10k+ but most are dead accounts i guess- its so weird to have tumblr be “worst” one)#(bc i have been here far longer than even twitter and feel much more attached to it and the people here)#i wonder if that art block feeling is bc i feel like i should draw more ocs stuff immediately but for others and not for me#idk if that can be the whole reason though#anyway idk what to do now#im so used to oc stuff not getting much attention so it was easier to do it on the side while fandom stuff was the main thing in a way?#and now idk ....................#im also afraid to disappoint people that thought my oc stuff is way cooler based on this art than it actually is#like Shargon isnt a scary demon that eats people#hes an anxiety riddled weakling rejected by other demons and only seems to imposing to humans bc they dont know any other demons#bc they prefer to stay in their world .... except him bc they reject and abuse him..#i have more oc lore and story than i have for the zelda comic but how would i even begin to explain any#id have to draw it all and i cant ..... do that ..... as much as i wish i could im just too slow and low on energy at all times#(the guilt of all the messages i havent answered ... ough .... im sorry)
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bad alternate timeline is going well in that my character, a perennial wuss, realised that another pc has kidnapped her aunt and threatened her cousin and immediately went 'oh im gonna fucking kill him'
#naielle odelia is going to fucking murder morgaan vandervest#and if youve kept even the faintest track of the lore in this campaign you know thats WILD#like a) vandervest should be dead and b) naielle deeply respects him?#in the prime timeline the situation was very complicated but naielle felt a strong responsibility towards her boss#and felt compelled to repay what she saw as unfounded trust in her. shes tried to be the captain she thinks he thought she could be#she doesnt know that isnt remotely what he had in mind and in fact her character growth from that undermined his plan#which was to have a captain who would be loyal and manipulatable#but she thought he had faith in her to rise to the challenge of command. and she did. and that made her harder to maneouver#because now she has the confidence to tell him his decisions are shit. and doesnt move around the board the same#but she still is 'loyal'. she chose to keep trusting him where she felt she could. she thinks he was a good commander#meanwhile in the dark timeline the first time they met he was coming to seize her aunts estate#and now hes kidnapped her aunt and briefly held her cousin hostage and naielles like oh im gonna kill him#she'll do it crying. not because she caresabout him but because shes scared#and i know that the moment he dies naielle will actually remember who he is. who he was to her#and shes going to have a very bad time#the dread timeline has been bad for everyone but at absolutely no point has naielle had a good time#like its been probably the worst 48hrs of her life i think she can say that confidently now#like before it was like 'this sucks but is it worse than exile' and once she got home and found out about her aunt#its like yeah no we've got the no1 spot locked in. worst time i have ever had. wow!#theres so many other things making naielles like miserable in there but atp the tags are overloaded haha
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mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom, you see its too much to ask for and i am not the doctor
read the tags for some character lore haha
#my art#artists on tumblr#fnv oc#brian sturges#<- it has been apparently three years since i last posted art of him!#i am in the midst of um. recontextualizing his and boones relationship?#i uh. think they are bad for each other and it eventually ends up in a breakup#should i elaborate#although boone is nice to him because he views brian as filler for carla#brian lets himself be enamored bc after a long string of directly bad abusive relationships#boone bombs his relationships both with brian and ty when he tells them about bittersprings#brian is a bleeding heart but i think he shoves away his thoughts on boone being a soldier bc when he warms up to him hes nice#while brian isnt from vegas he still represents that glamour and wealth. especially when he talks about the comforts he misses#these tags got out of order bc mobile sucks. anyway#hes nice because he sees a carla shaped filler#which is. super fucked.#but brian likes him treating him so nicely because its the first time in a long time to have someone romantically pursue him that way#or at least it feels that way to him#i think even before the bittersprings bombshell is dropped it becomes apparent to him that boone does not see him as equal#and holds him up to this high standard based around the idea of his dead wife that exists in his head#brian still goes along because he tells himself that he'd rather be seen highly and be codependant than outright abused... right...#but of course its very bad for him in entirely different ways#he spent this time going against his better judgement to allow boone to pursue him bc he convinced himself that he wanted this#and now that he has what he thinks he wanted he keeps trying to pump the breaks#so he becomes quiet and agreeable bc that worked in the abusive relationships why wouldnt it work for this ''''healthy'''' one#ty notices because shes been his best friend for like a decade. he knows that she knows theyre on a shared wavelength like that#but since theyre always in a group on the move theres hardly ever a beat where its just the two of them to talk about it#which also like im not gonna get into tys relationship with boone in these tags but its also very complicated#after bittersprings it all comes falling down though brian cant let himself be agreeable anymore#ive been thinking abt this for a while as ive become more of a boone hater
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Yandere Batfam x reader who cant feel pain
HEhehehe i just remembered a disease and I just had to write about a reader with it x yandere batfam.
Have you guys heard of CIPA? Its "Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis" which is basically a genetic condition when a patient cant feel pain to any noxious stimulus and can also not sweat, and yall are probably like "but SNoWWW, that doesnt like a diSEase. More like a superpower!!!" um no. You need to be able to feel pain or else you wont know what part of your body has been injured and get help before its too late. You could have thumbtack plunged in your foot and u wouldnt know unless it got infected and u probably saw ur foot changing color.
And now yall are like "but SNoWw, the anhidrosis part, where u cant sweat, sounds nice! who would to look like a sweaty pig in this age????" NO! Sweating is a necessary physiologic phenomenon because it lets your body cool down as it releases heat. If you dont sweat, you'd overheat and DIE!
Okay now that we've covered the basic info, lets get into it:
So, Batfam finds out about reader when she's just running into danger with little to no care for self preservation, and they dismiss it as you being just another dumb teen wanting to be hero and "change the world". Time passes by and Bruce is impressed by your passion and decides to take you under his wing.
It isnt until months later that Bruce discovers something odd about your behaviour. You were standing in the kitchen with the rest of the batkids, laughing and having a good time when he saw Dick had pulled out a hot pan of cookies from the oven and placed it on the aisle. The pan slipped, and without thinking, you had grabbed the hot pan with your bare hands very calmly and placed it back on the aisle, without so much as a hiss of pain or even a sweat.
And now that he thinks about it, Bruce has never seen you sweat. Not during training, not during summer, not even when after you ran laps around the mansion.
With a quick search on the Internet, he finds out about the disease and of course its Dick who he confides in first about his suspicions. Soon, the rest of the batfam has heard the rumours and now they're all watching you keenly to see if its true.
But Jason is the one who tests out the theory quickly by spilling some hot tea on your hand when you were busy talking to Tim about the importance of sleep. The room goes dead silent as they watch your hand turn red, yet you fail to react. It took you a few seconds to realise that they're all looking at you, and when you follow their gaze, it takes you a few seconds to react.
Or fake a reaction.
You shriek, pulling your reddening hand as you run to the sink and run it under cold water, your mind trying to come up with an excuse. But you know its too late when Bruce's hand comes to clasp your shoulder, pulling you away from the sink as his eyes examine your injured hand and... you.
"Bruce I-"
"I know, Y/n." He gives you assuring nod, carefully bandaging your hand as you sat in his office. "You have CIPA, hm?"
You looked down. Why bother lying? He's Batman, he'll find out anyways.
Bruce lifted your head and smiled gently at you. "Its okay. I'm not disappointed in you. I just... you could've told me." You shook your head. "If I did, you would've treated me differently... like a freak."
He sighed. "You are different, but I would've never treated you like a freak. You're not a freak. If anything, between us, I'm more of a freak than you." He was talking about being a hero, but you giggled at the thought of him referring to being a rich dude who cosplays in spandex.
Bruce cupped your cheek and smiled. "I promise, no one will treat you like a freak. But we will have to take some precautions for your safety."
-
He lied. You've never felt more like a freak than you do now.
Every single day would start off with Dick waking you up and sticking a thermometer in your mouth because he needs to make sure that you're not overheating, even though Bruce has set a thermostat in your room that he controls and he's programmed it to turn your room temperature change by the hour.
Then Dick would start checking you all over for any bruises or injuries, even a scratch, that you may have caused yourself in your sleep. Originally, Damian was the one who had a whole checklist as he examined your body, but that all ended the moment you smacked him when he asked you to lift your shirt. Dick would just have you go and check yourself in the bathroom and trust you when you said you're all good. Also, you're much nicer to Dick than you are to the rest of the brothers (its his puppy dog eyes and that sweet voice that compels you to do as he asks. He's just too nice.)
Dick would then lead you to down for breakfast with the family, where Alfred already has your glucometer out because of course, they must check your blood sugar level every day, lest they find out you're diabetic or something. Only then would you be served your meal, which is a highly nutritous, perfeclty seasoned, balanced dish because they want to make sure you dont have any vitamin deficiencies (because how would they know???? you dont feel pain). But you cant eat just yet. No no, whichever brother is closer, most often Jason, will first taste your food to make sure its not too hot to consume (because you dont realise you've burned the roof of your mouth that one time when Tim ate a slice of pizza that was fresh out of the oven and huppahhuffpuhh the morsel out). Jason would then give you the go to eat and you finally do. You make sure to finish the whole plate (because otherwise Bruce will make note of it and then interrogate you "medically" why you didnt feel like eating all of it?)
After breakfast, while the rest of the batkids get to go to school and work, you dont (because Bruce thinks that your immune system could be weak and he cant risk you catching any diseases from the outside.) No, you get a special trip to the infirmary where Bruce and Alfred do a more thorough medical check up, taking your vitals, JOTTING IT DOWN, while Alfred hooks you up to an IV drip of vitamins. And even though they go to such extents to ensure that you're healthy, they still take you to a skilled doctor once a week for regular check ups. Bruce wanted to keep the doctor in the house to do daily check ups, but you talked him out of it that you dont want to feel like a lab rat who has her blood taken every day. Once a week is fine, Bruce.
Once the medical check up is done, Bruce would then take you with him, either to Wayne enterprises where you sit in his office as he imparts you "business education that no school can teach you." which you believe because... well he has managed to triple the Wayne wealth even after his parents death. If he's working from home, then he'll let you accompany him in his home office where you can either read a book he chose for you (because Bruce prefers to homseschool you himself) or do a puzzle/case he created specifically for you. If he's working in the batcave, then he'll let you tag along but you can only work here by brainstorming or doing some computer research, but in no way are you allowed to ever go on field and fight. No, not since your last incident.
Just 2 months ago, you were patrolling with Jason (because Bruce refused to let you go alone now. He just wont risk it) and you encountered some bad guys who were a little more well equipped than you two had expected. A fight broke out, and in the process you got hurt badly. Of course, you didnt realise it because you didnt feel any of the punches or the bone fracturing. Jason could only look at you in dread as you smashed your head against the villain's head until the guy passed out, all while your nose bled, you were covered in bruises from top to bottom, AND you had a bone sticking out of your arm.
"Jay? I think I'm hurt?" You asked as blood coated your teeth.
After that, Bruce forbid you from going out on the field altogether because you just dont know when to stop. If it werent for bones sticking out or blood dripping down your face, you wouldnt know that you've been injured.
Anyways, at lunch, almost everyone has returned from work/school and you get yet another balanced meal (temperature tested by another brother). You're now scheduled for some exercises, usually conducted by Damian (under Dick's supervision because otherwise, you'd just be smacking that devil's spawn.) You guys use the gym in the basement, where Damian makes you run on the treadmill for some time, during which he does not take his eyes off you once because he needs to know when he should stop you, especially since you dont sweat or are even huff. If he didnt keep time, you could probably run for a long time and not realise that your legs or lungs are begging you to stop and take a break. As you hop off the machine, he's immediately taking your temperature. He does it after every exercise he makes you do.
After that is done, you spend time with Tim who likes to have you try on little gadgets that should "help you feel pain", but so far, he hasnt had any luck (but he doesn seem to be doing good in disguising trackers in your daily wear things). Oh and Damian loves to join in because he gets to sneak up on you and prick you with needles to help Tim see if your sensory pathways work. They dont, but you dont need your pain receptors to detect Damian coming up behind you as you smack him when he tries to prick you.
Then dinner is served, and then you're ushered straight to bed where Dick, or more often- Bruce has you do a self check like the one Dick does in the morning, but Bruce also makes sure to check your eyes to see if you "accidentally scratched your cornea" or whatever, tucks you in, tells you that he's so proud of you for how youre handling this and that you can come to him anytime, for anything. He kisses your forehead, wishes you goodnight, and leaves.
Half an hour later, Jason sneaks into your room with the goodies- junk food and video games. You two have the strongest bond because Jason is the one who treats you the most normal, and Jason does it partly to piss off Bruce but partly because he cares about your mental health. He knows it cant be good for you to be cooped up in the mansion under supervision like a bird in a gilded cage.
So sometimes, he sneaks you out of the mansion and takes you out on late night rides on his bike. You can even watch him fight villains, but you're sat far away and can never interferre.
Unfortunately for you two, this sneaking out will have to end because Bruce had recently decided to set up some cameras in your room because he wanted to make sure you slept well without any abnormal breathing patterns. Bruce hopes he doesnt have to use restraints on you, because he's not blind. He knows you're uncomfortable with this intricate routine and knowing your impulsive self, you'd probably break your own bones to get out of these restraints. And then he'll be forced to use sedatives and he really doesnt wanna rely on drugs... he likes your company when you're not droopy.
And as Bruce had anticipated, you broke down. You finally tried to leave, and he could see the color draining your face as you realised that there is no leaving.
"Why isnt the door opening?" You asked Bruce, as his four sons slowly surrounded you.
"You dont have to run away, Y/n-" He tried to calm you down but you flinched away, eyes wide as you looked at him like he was going to harm you.
"Bruce, why isnt the fucking door opening?" Your voice trembled, shooting him teary glare before focusing your eyes back on the boys who were closing in on you.
"You're meant to stay here, inside, where its safe." He answered, heart aching at the alarmed stance you took, your fight-or-flight was going to kick in. He took another step towards you, hands raised in surrender. "We can keep you safe-" thats all it took for you to bolt as the boys began chasing you. Realistically, you knew you couldnt escape them but something about their intensely concerned calls for your name had you jumping out of the window.
Glass shattered and sharp shards embedded themselves in your skin and feet, but you didnt react to them. No, your brain wasnt screaming in pain, it was screaming for you to get out!
Adrenaline pumped you to run into the dark woods surrounding the mansion, but you were soon knocked to the ground by Dick, who cushioned your fall by placing you on top of him as his hands wrapped around your form like a cage. "Y/n, calm down and listen-"
You began thrashing in his arms, screaming in agony. "Let ME GO! YOU'RE HURTING ME-!" Dick's arms loosened instinctively and you took that as a chance to elbow him in the throat and run, thanking some deity for letting Dick forget that you cant feel pain.
But your relief is short lived as Damian catches you and pushes you to the ground harshly. "Damian! Be careful! She could break a bone-"
"Bones can heal, Drake." Damian barked back, pulling you up before he pushed you against tree. "Let me go, you maniac-" Damian's hand clamped around your throat, making you shut up. "You're the one who's a maniac. Look at you! You've fucking hurt yourself because if your astounding stupidity!"
You whimpered, clawing at his hand wrapped around your throat. "Dami- p-please let go- you're hurting me!" You cried out, but your eyes went wide as he squeezed your throat and bared his teeth at you. "Not falling for it, dumbass." So... fooling Damian wasnt as easy a feat as it was fooling Dick.
You stopped the act and looked at him dead serious. "Let me go, Damian, or-"
"Or what?"
Or what? Or what? Did he think you were out of options? Out of escape plans?
You dont know why, but that triggered something inside you.
Damian and Tim could only watch as you suddenly slammed the back of your head against the tree. "Y/n-" He gasped in horror as you leaned your head forward before slamming it back against the hard rough surface. This time, Damian's hand that was wrapped around your neck felt your blood around his fingers.
"Its my life and I get to decide how I should live it." You sneered before raising your head again to bash it, but Damian's hand quickly slipped from your neck to the back of your head, cushioning it when you smacked it back, the skin on the back of his hand breaking as it made contact with the bark.
You pushed him away and tried to make a run for it, but Tim grabbed your wrist. You tried to pull away, but he had a death grip on it. "Y/n, stop! You need to listen-"
"Oh is that so? I think I need this." You used your other hand to punch yourself in the face (because Tim would've dodged it if you punched him), making your nose bleed. But you didnt feel any pain, and now you were acting like a super soldier zombie that has no concept of self preservation who is going through fucked up lengths to prove her point.
Your eyes caught the sight of a glass shard poking out of your thigh. "Wanna see something cool?" You pulled out the shard, not paying mind to the blood oozing out. "Y/n, stop-" Tim begged, and you saw Damian froze in the back as you raised the shard.
They didnt know what your next target was- slashing your wrists, slitting your throat, or stabbing your stomach, but fortunately, they didnt have to find out as Jason came up behind you and injected you with a tranquilliser.
Sadly, you never felt the prick or sensed the hero sneaking up behind you.
thoughts? also, what other diseases would u guys like me to write for. i just adore these cool medical abnormalities lol
#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere batboys#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd x reader#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere damian x reader#yandere tim drake#yandere#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere family
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