#but tbh its so hard for me to have the motivation to play rn but thats just how it is during the school year 🤷‍♀��

[avornalino]

hiiii.. 🙃🙃

[zyafics]

play fake feedbaaaackkk:

i personally HATED rafe on the early chapters but FUCK did you win me over, like im all against mothering your bfs but shit zya… anything for rafe. especially his vulnerable moments which im a huge sucker for.

THE DOMESTICATION OF RAFE CAMERON IS 👩‍🍳💋. i will say i love his interactions with y/n’s sisters, that man is literally meant to be a girl dad. also im crossing my fingers for ward not to be a sorry excuse of a father to rafe

tbh idk if this is a feedback, im just spewing out shit at this point lmao but i hope this motivates you to continue play fake!! 💓💓 massive love to you girly 愛妳

i ADORE this little feedback/rant hahah. personally, i LOVE rafe in the beginning of play fake because it was SUCH an asshole and the character development within that spam of time was so substantial that it was so hard to miss!! i love LOVE their little dynamics w rafe and reader who has this push-pull love w him and it was SO FUN (and easy) to write them in the beginning

but the domestication will continue in pf15! i swear, what i have planned is v adorable and then… shit happens again

and anything about pf is loved!! thank u for taking the time to comment and send me a little inbox message!! also also im learning mandarin rn and i read those characters (love you girl.?) AND I HOPE ITS PAYING OFF???

[crow-perch]

hiiiiii im 24 now. its weird. feels weird every year tbh

didnt think i'd have 120 people interested in the half assed stuff i create? its insanely cool to think someone found my stuff worth following, let alone over 100 (๏ᆺ๏υ)

my brain is currently dragging its feet rn hard. i wanna get chapter 1 done and drawn so i can finally let myself play deltarune ch 2 ;_;

i keep going back to read the kind tags people left, it motivates the everloving hell out of me to keep going with it. seriously, thank you.

heres hoping i can go for another year in spite of my own body :]

[beevean]

And onto Rush Adventure now:

-Tbh at first i wasnt sold on the materials grinding for ships but later liked how it gives you a reason to improve your scores on the levels so you can get more. Idk i usually dont care abt scores but w the external motivation? Yea

-Same w the misions, good way to have lil extra stuff to do (that said why did they block the sound mode songs behind misions. Game pls my internet makes opening youtube an odyssey and now this too? Cruelty 😔)

-Oh and also the ship minigames! Its fun to have a map you can explore, and the races w Jhonny for the chaos emeralds are way better than the Surely Existing special levels (also srry if i got his name wrong lmao)

-Onto the soundtrack; its more broad compared to rush, and each song does matches well the enviroment. I like the tropical coastal vibes of the main town n training level, and oh man. Sky babylon and deep core my beloveds who literally got engraved in my neurons so hard i was struggling reading hours later bc the darn tunes kept playing in the background of my skull. Well scratch that all the tunes keep playing on the bg of my skull rn, what kind of eldritch curse is this). So yes good ost 👍

-Overall the aesthetic n vibes are also more broad with that tropical relax overtone, its quite nice. The difficulty is also way more forgiving (i mean i played on easy but that's the mode the game came in) and the tutorials with the controls are helpful (yes i struggled with the jump dash in the previous game how can you tell)

- The story is also more calm and silly goofy but in a good way (can def see what ppl mean by the diff eras in sonic writing there). I also liked Whisker being the main but kinda dumb villain for funnies vs the eggmans being a bigger threat)

-I liked the scene in the coral cave where Blaze appears bc my mind was half "haha i knew we were in Blaze's world, neat" and " weeee hi Blaze, game of the year :D"

-Marine was also neat, liked her silly dynamic of cheerful kid who is a bit too full of herself and is kind of a brat abt it, and how she later learns to admit her own limits :) And the koala villagers were neat too i like their designs :)

Overall thank you for letting me ramble into your ask box abt these games, its been fun :D

lmao yeah it's a nice incentive! I think the only other game that gives you a reward with higher ranks is Unwiished (another Dimps game), where the higher the rank the more medals you get.

also sonic 🤝 hector:having to earn their crafting materials

The missions are a good way to extend the gameplay, but IIRC some of the Sol Emerald missions were brutal... I have flashes of the Blizzard Peak mission.

The waterbike was genuinely really fun and I hated that it was considered the "worst" vehicle for travel :( I don't like the submarine, let me travel the world on my tiny waterbike while the best music plays :( also yeah the Special Stages with Johnny are original! Certainly more than Half Pipe 50.0

SRA'S OST was composed by veterans Tomoya Ohtani and Mariko Nanba while trying to recreate Naganuma's style. Definitely unique and underrated. Sky Babylon used to be my favorite too! But there are so many tracks that IMO deserve more love, like Haunted Ship, Blizzard Peaks, the boss theme and Whiskers & Johnny <3

Funny to think SRA came out one year after '06, widely criticized at the time for being too melodramatic :P Whiskers is also a nice case of Eggman being the twist villain for once! Although the credits of the "bad" ending spoil him and Nega, lol. Not that Whiskers looks mysterious himself... eh you get it.

Marine seems to have been reevaluated recently, like many things from the 2000s. I remember that back then no one could stand her and her Aussie accent lmao, precisely because she was an annoying brat. She is still mildly underrated, but I think the modern fandom generally "forgave" her because they understood that she was meant to be a foil for Tails, who is more insecure.

(two fun facts: in some countries, SRA initially got a 12+ rating because Marine says "bugger", which is pretty mild for Aussie slang but is much stronger for American standards. Also, Marine is Australian because in original she speaks in Kansai-ben, and I guess that was a way to recreate the cultural connotations! That and koalas :P)

You're welcome, you're free to rant at any time <3

[aspiring-artist-em]

get to know better tag

thank you @achilleslikespeas!! you're so so amazing omg- anyhoo

three ships: wolfstar, ineffable husbands (someone pls talk to me about good omens I literally can NOT rn), drarry

first ship: drarry, it’s a tried and true ship for me, ive been shipping it since I was like, a child  (literally flashback to me at like, 7 years old telling my mom that harry and Draco should get over each other and buy a castle and live together forever as a happy couple (parents were not happy that their daughter was saying this (they were homophobic( (im now gay and still shipping it so suck it, ig)))

last song: I would love to lie and say its something cool like “killer queen” or “lady stardust” bc I listen to those a lot, but once again, I would be lying and my actual last song that I listened to was “no hands (ft. Roscoe dash and wale)”, yk, the frat party song, I like to play it while writing angst

last movie: Harry Potter? idk what one, I like to put the tv on while I do stuff like budget money and write fanfic and draw, so honestly idk, it was probably the chamber of secrets, that and poa are my all time favs 

currently reading: ur mom LMAO (im so sorry) no, what im reading is smut, and also like, a good omens fic about Crowley’s fall (witness the fall) bc im trying to forget about season 2′s ending. im also reading away childish things (again) bc like, that's one of my fav drarry fics of all time. if we’re talking about marauders fics, it was probably her body is a temple down in the frozen food aisle  by achilleslikespeas, both for my emotional masochistic enjoyment and bc I wanted to draw a scene in the story (go read it now pls, its really good, Claude is really good a writing and im freaking out bc I wanna draw a scene from every single one of their fics I- like go-to horror dead dove fics for me I reccomend Claude and for smut I go to moonie), if we’re talking books books, Ive been reading yellowface and I am a cat which so far, are really really good, but also like, im really bad at reading so like, I haven't actually touched them in a week LMAO

currently watching: good omens, its playing on my tv in the background both because I love it and also because Neil said if u stream it enough amazon will see how valuable it is (with the strike and everything) and like, actually be willing to negotiate, essentially, help out the strike, go watch gay celestial beings 

last thing i wrote: 'Til Death Do Us Part, and Even Then, I'll Do My Best to Stay With You, its a dead dove fic centering around grief and denial, uh, 2 chapters in lol

currently writing: I have like, a million wips and no motivation to write rn so lets dive into them lol

1) chapter 3 of do death do us part, very sad, like, maybe 3 sentences in?

2) the next part of my lesbian wolf star series, its the one right before the trail one, so like, part 10 is gonna be another chapter centering more around Sirius’s memories and part 11 is gonna be the trial, I have like, 2 separate things ive written for it and I need to decide where I want it to go tbh

3) smut, gay wolf star, frat hazing blow or blow smut. sirius is on his knees and almost throws up but he doesn't and its lowkey like actually non con but its also frat hazing, like, idk how to explain the vibes but sirius is referred to as a dog and a filthy animal and degraded and he's sucking remus’s dick on coke and im like 2k words in and like, running out of ways to describe a cock lol (its also hard to bc like, I don't have a dick and my textbooks are no help sometimes) but he is also called the “pike puppy” and like, I think im smart for that and also its really filthy ngl, not a happy ending?

4) a short fluff fic to make up for the angst I put my readers through, im like 200 words in

5) au kinda thing, inspired by don't worry darling and like a TikTok that I saw (and now people are commenting on me commenting if I can write the idea and asking for the fic name and like, Im 500 words in? pls I need time), the idea is that Dumbledore has everyone under imperio or a potion to get them on his side to fight for him, lily’s pov, I really like it so far, uhh im like 500 words in I think?

so yeah, when I get inspiration im gonna write everything all at once lol, probably when my body isn't trying to kill me lmao or im at work

tagging: @spookymoonie @pinklume @wxlfstxrisbest @spindrifters @siriuslystargazing @siriusly-sapphic @green-lights-33

[gaypleasantview]

5,6, 15,17 and 31 for the baseic summer ask!

thanks!!!

5 - current favorite mod

i've actually discovered so many great ones for ts2 recently! i don't remember most off the top of my head but the ones i can say im super impressed with are the favorite color mod and its add-ons that make various objects different colors depending on what sim likes (sorry i cant link it because im on my phone and its a bit hard lol but if anyone needs any links i'll find them!) i was also blown away with some other things like: the asexual trait, the mod that lets you pick sim's reproduction options, werewolves get matching hair colors when they turn, pick your wand, spectral cat breeds, and of course the overlays like body hair and tattoos!!! i haven't even tried most of them yet but just the fact that you can do so many new things in this game are super exciting lol. i also feel the same way about ts1, there's even less mods of course but whenever there are new gameplay features i find it so sexc even if i never play it lol just reading about it and seeing pics feels like being reborn

6 - current favorite cc creator

ahhh so many!! if i were on my laptop i would probably actually look up who i have most in my folders but im not feeling like it rn so off the top of my head i can say ive been really into platasp things recently they're awesome!! im also super impressed by things jacky93 creates and im in love with monilisasims for all the awesome momma lisa content!! i won't tag them because im shy but i promise to tell them i love them next time i see them. there's also a creator i really love but im super embarrassed because i can't find their page but once i do im probably gonna spam it to make up for that

15 - how many hours have you spent playing the sims?

more than i could ever recall, earliest proof of me playing is dated either 2004 or 2005 i don't remember but either way i have been hooked since really badly. i assume my most played game is either ts2 or ts3, i played ts1 a lot as well ofc bc it's my favorite game and as for ts4 hasn't been as much but i did have at least two families i played for two generations so i think that's decent. the game i think i like the most in terms of playability is ts3, aside from the lagging rip

17 - in your gameplay, are you more task-driven or story-driven?

im gonna be honest with you. because of adhd i really need to feel motivated to do something esp play something so whether i play a story or just for the fun of it i need to also set gameplay goals so it's complicated lol and it also means i generally play with a story in mind and that keeps me going. and i love love love legacy challenges

31 - tag & give a shoutout to a simblr you really enjoy seeing posts from

im a fan of everyone i follow tbh but i seriously appreciate so much how i get to interact with you @profesionalpartyguest and with @annieshowell and @socialbunny on here you all make me feel happy thanks a lot!!

[6yuns]

( 💤 anon just came back 2 life again omg..... ) HIIII YARIIIIII IM SO SORRY 4 DISAPPEARING!!!! i forgot abt tumblr & i didnt remember your username so forgive me pls my fav writer silly scrunkly sprinkle tinkle :( also, pls show that youre alive at least i can live in peace

you dont need 2 worry abt writing or some shit like that, everyone needs to take a break for themselves ! its okay, im sure anyone will understand it ^_^ i get that some days can be rough, but youve already came this far, didnt you? im sure such a amazing & strong person like you would get over hard obstacles, go yari go!!! dont be afraid to cry, crying is a way of our body to release tension, im sure you'll feel better aftwr releasing even a liiiiiittle bit of frustration. stress, frustration & etc is not something that you should only bottle up (emotions & feelings tbh) until you break, its good to let it out when necessary, ya know? i dont appear around here often, but i want to know if things are better, worse or the same as before!! im sure your existence already makes a lot of change in other people's life, anyone would be glad to have you in their lives ^_^ make sure to take break for yourself, dont push yourself too hard for others' wishes! drink water, eat & sleep properly, okay? dont eat more than you should BUT dont eat less than you should, dont skip meals or i will find you and kidnap you and torture you to kill you ❤ dont forget to drink water, its very important!!! sleep at least EIGHT hours, take a nap if you couldnt sleep before!! i believe in you, yari <3

enflish is not my first langauge I HATE BRITHS PEOPLE AND AMERIFCAN OJ MY FUCKINH HOD sorry for any spelling or greammar mistskwes my brain is not workrkinh too well rn. also i like to play these satusfifjnh games but it genuinely pisses me off when a level is hard WASNT IT SUPPOSED TO BE SATIDFYING. YOU STUOID FUCKINH BITCH I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER SHES SCREAMING HIGH PITCH (/ref) im also not good at comforting people sometimes sorry 4 anything

im actually crying, i love you so much. having you interact makes me so happy, ive been going through alot, found out my gma hot cancer (idrc cus i never liked her but its putting my mom in a bad place), im moving, also starting school again so this made me feel better and gave me the motivation to try again, i love you so much 💤 anon

and its okay that eng isnt your first language i cant even read the spelling mistakes cus im dyslexic and dont notice it so its spelled correctly lmfao!!! and im glad your getting into new stuff!!!!! pls reccomend some games to play cus all i play is honkai and idv [ i dont rlly play either of those games rn ]

[freakurodani]

the haikyuu ost is smth that i love so much

half of watching haikyuu w me is me pointing out how the soundtrack is playing w us and getting hype over the horns and the violins and how oikawa has a theme but its first used with kageyama and how interesting that is to me and and and have you ever listened to something and it made your heart swoop and made breathing hard???

haikyuu makes me so hype sometimes i get breathess tbh i DO get weepy whenever i hear the first opening like at the end of season 4??? are you KIDDING ME???? i get so so so so emotional i love haikyuu so MUCH sosososo much its just there isnt a part of it that doesnt hit for me and i listen to the ost's whenever i need hype and motivation im gonna cry about it rn

[goldenlie]

glad we share an opinion queen!! also getting annoyed because of 4 year old acting like a 4 year old is incredibly valid to me tbh definitely had my own share of yup definitely no chlidren for me ever moments. I feel like later on it gets a little better because now we are focusing more on Kazuki and Rei's past and issues each of them brings to the table lmao I usually have issue only when people claim Miri isn't at all acting like an actual 4 year old and compare her to... Anya... a child who can literally read minds 😐 and will change her behaviour accordingly to what she hears as we have seen her do many times before and I didn't even watch all of spy x family like sir surely you are joking right now?? anyways I hope you are doing well, it's been a while ^_^ what are you up to these days? hope uni isn't giving you too much of a hard time!

(formerly) QQQQQNFFFFFF ENJOYYEEEERRR!!!! AGNESSS!!! It's so good to hear form you <3

If there's one thing I'm reliant at its being a bit of a hater to kids antics, I simply lack the gift of patience. I am right there with you in those moments I'm ngl. Okay the focus on more of their past dynamic and potentially how they got to be in the profession they're in sounds pretty interesting. The potential for angst skyrockets with each word I hear about this show and I am loving it.

That is,,,, a real unique comparison people have made. As someone who has suffered through two seasons of spyxfamily I can definitely vouch that Anya and Miri are not similar characters at all (To clarify spy family was good up until every progression the characters had was wrote away for a cheap punchline or coincidental memory loss, literally happened every second episode after s1 ep9). The only similarity between the two shows point blank is the premise. I would assume people are trying to draw nonexistent parallels purely based off of that, I have no idea as to why though. From what I saw (so, so little) Miri was undoubtedly acting like a four year old, when she spilt that drink in episode 2 it was very on brand kid looking for attention, I thought it showed her age pretty well. Anya as an older character, literally six years old, but she had a lot more motives at play. Obviously she's still young and immature but a lot more mature than Miri nonetheless. Anya could play strategy and was attempting to aid Loid with his spy missions, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume Miri is not going to locate a bomb or something in the remaining 10 eps I have to watch. Miri seems to be a much more honest and open character whereas Anya can be more scheming and conniving (I say with love, I did like Anya's character up until everyone minus Yor became very dislikable very fast), for her own self preservation. The two of them are pretty incomparable, I can see where your disbelief is coming from.

Uni is making me spin in a circle five times and then jump through a hoop 2 meters off the ground. The biggest thing rn is finding time to carry out experiments for my thesis which I will hopefully finish up with this week! It's actually such coincidental timing but this week I have to give a presentation on the most impactful book I've ever read (purely to build confidence in public speaking, damn though, thought I was in science so I didn't have to talk personally) which was extremely difficult considering all impactful "books" I've read in the past four years have been on ao3. So I ended up scavenging through our old messages trying to locate some book recs you had! I actually ended up with another recommendation from the bts boy though, who was reading Almond, this one is called "The Midnight Library" and sounded pretty intriguing! I'll be reading it tonight and tomorrow so if it's worth it I'll update you. What about you queen, are you still working in the job you started last year? I hope it's been going well if so! I know you're into buddy dads these days but anything else been keeping you occupied? Anime wise myself I'm actually about halfway through hunter x hunter?? I started the end of December and it intrigued me ngl. I'm not sure if you've seen but it's very easy to like the main character and his three main besties so I'm looking forward to seeing how things progress further. I also watched the entirety of Voltron out of pure curiosity for how bad the ending was? And I was surprised to see it was actually as shit as they say. However comma the show did lose its appeal much much earlier, have you ever watched? I actually finished up a kdrama series recently as well I believe you recommended me last year called Beyond Evil and holy fucking shit was it good. Usually I fear for around the halfway mark of kdramas that they lose their purpose but I swear they had only warmed up the engine by ep 8. It was addictive to watch and I was so immersed, my love dong sik and his relationship with inspector Han growing and changing throughout the series was extremely interesting to watch unfold. They were a powerful duo when they worked together and I will miss the thrill of each ep.

I hope you've been having a good time in general queen and things have been going well for you :D

[jenanddomo]

1.14.23

he didnt deserve me nor my love, we made it to complicated to love eachother. it was like a repeatin cycle were one loves the other too much n the other feelings die out. love is not abt spark is what i learned when i left in sept-dec. but for other people they still gotta learnnn. im still mad, feels like my feelings were played tbh, bc i remember he texted me first, he even said if i didnt like u i wouldnt text u. it hurts to see the person u love so much move on. but tbh u gotta be happy for them no matter what. like im proud he makin his own decisions n stuff. it just sucks im still stuck . he said he will probably date her but the fact that hurts me is that he will be willingly tryin a long distance relationship that will prob wont see eachother, but we couldnt even see eachother

he couldnt last a week

i was supposed to see him this weeknd or next weeknd, it sucks bc i was so down for it. but tbh everything changes when u least expect it. it sucks being heartbroken n its hard to let go, but i never felt like this. i never felt like freedom on my hands, its so calm without an argument, non stressful bc i dont have to worry abt him n the actions i make.

i hope i can peace within myself, im so problematic in relationships now that i think abt it. i think im problematic idk we all got different opinions. idk all i can say ofc the other person gon treat their new person better. bc we learn from our mistakes from past relationships. im sayin the obvious lolol its funnyy,

part of me is sayin let go and stuff

but the rest of me is still dwelling on him, n i hate it with a passion, i dont wan be stuck on him no more, i got way too attached, it sucks, im so scared to get attached now; it feels like he was my comfort n motivation to pretty n be the best of myself, but tbh i feel like i was my worst version ever. i feel like rn i been pretty good abt myself lately. i feel like i can be nice to everyone again and just be chill n nonchalant

im so glad i didnt agree to the fuck buddy’s thing bc ik damn well that wouldve hurt me more.

eitherway

today i rested,workout, finally ate meal rn, im more likely gon sleep bc tired, i also been losin appetite again but this one is just bad bc ion drink water or eat

i just look at the food n just feel disgusted. idk but im tryna eat again bc i swear i dont have energy no more n that cause im sleepin 7-8 hrs now , workin out, it just my problem is the food now.

anywaysysyssyysys goodnightt

[nouvxllev]

i literally love you, thank you so much for tagging me!!!! and might as well answer these while im writing a story (also while balancing a fuck ton of deadlines)

music - honestly, completely random. one day its classical music, another its 80s-00s rock or rnb, another its rap, another its rnb, and on another day its love songs. it just depends the mood, really, but i do find myself listening to 70s-90s music and rnb alot. they just get my spirits up like no other. favs are rini, daniel caesar, gemini, and alan vuong along many others. ofc, i still like taylor swift, sabrina carpenter, olivia rodrigo, but i dont really listen to them at all that much rn (but their songs still goes hard)

life-style - wouldnt say complete shit, but wouldnt say complete happiness either. i cook for myself, work for myself, and live for myself with the addition of my friends and family. my life revolves completely around one routine being school (a fuck ton, even at home), part time, work out, study, and write when i can (which is, rn, literally i have no time for it, sadly). so, for me, its pretty hard to balance all those things together especially when i have other hobbies that i tend to take care of. at weekends, i really try my best to not focus on my academics so ill start writing again, playing guitar, painting, maybe try again at skateboarding (i literally dont know shit about biking, why the fuck am i skateboarding) then just repeat until monday hits. but even so, i wouldn't trade my life to get a slightly better one. im already accustomed to mine, and ill just strive to get a better lifestyle everyday.

writing - tbh i never saw myself actually writing and posting it for hundreds of people to see, it was just a 'fuck it, we ball' situation. my love for books and literally anything thats labeled literature even if its just fanfiction goes beyond limits but i never thought i would be the one thats going to be behind those words. i started writing on wattpad then to ao3 when i realized that i could make writing a hobby even if i suck ass at it, believe it or not, but those were short lived since my motivation eventually dried out. then one day i started going to tumblr more often to read fanfics about j.o and other actors i take interest in and then my fingers suddenly went from scrolling then to actually writing one myself. im not good at writing at all, i try to to be better everyday but i always fall short in my eyes. so imagine my surprise when i posted my first story on here and it got some pretty good feedback that eventually led me to here. i never even thought about people seeing it or even my account growing, so thank you for the people who decided that my stories were worth their mind and, most especially, their time. i write for all of them.

me - actually, i dont know. took the 16personalities quiz and it says that im an infp. im a people pleaser by heart and a idgaf person by mind (i listen to my heart more, if you couldnt tell) im a hopeless romantic with a penchant of falling inlove as if i could get someone to like me back, cries alot at the smallest things especially when someone im near with is crying, reaching for my career even if it means i would have to go through dantes inferno to even get the slightest bit of a perfect score. my family describes me as someone who they shouldnt talk in the early asscrack in the morning and whenever its a stressful week. it just equals to receiving the nastiest silent treatment. people tell me i look like jenna ortega and ariana greenblatt or that they remind me of billie eillish and finn wolfhard. its a weird mix up between the four of them. theres alot going on with me, but im a cat lover!! thats literally it.

thank you sm for tagging me bae, love ya!!

+ i dont really have any friends on tumblr 🥲 ill just leave it up to the rest

get to know you? music, lifestyle, writing, etc. just stuff that makes you, you

and maybe tag some people to start a chain? totally optional!

:D sure! thank you for the ask 🫶🏻

music: I love synths like a heathen… I write, primarily, so the lyrics matter a lot to me, but I used to play a couple instruments so I love listening to all parts of a song. hyper pop, pop rock, indie pop, indie rock? I think those are the genre names. my top songs rn are sweet dreams by eurythmics, the other side of paradise by glass animals, and sober by big bang

lifestyle: cathemeral omnivore…? my life currently revolves around school, my job, and other career responsibilities ^^

writing: sporadic (as you can tell rip), I edit in my head and as I write, I’ve always loved analyzing text and really enjoy it!

me: umm I’m having a cold brew with silk oat milk and vanilla torani rn, I have a cat I love her, I get easily overstimulated when it comes to stuff touching me but I’ll watch two youtube videos at the same time, I love food I live to eat, I love the nyt connections

tags: @woewriting @melrodrigo @mindyswhore @marvelfilth @jazzyoranges @sytoran @jjsmaybank20 @alkivm @crazyoffher I’m almost positive I missed something but PLEASE PARTICIPATE if you want <3

[ajdrawshq]

So.... What the fuck! ( Any thoughts? VLR is wild )

if i put the Junpei what the hell compilation here does that count as an answer

ok i do actually have thoughts yes. so many thoughts. might take me a sec to form words out of em bc of the sheer.. something. whatever just happened and im also lowkey sleep deprived rn i have shrimp emotions and i also cant feel anything

hmm ok one of the things i wanted to mention was that earlier i almost thought Quark couldve been some kinda abondoned Left clone but they have different eye colors so thats crossed off the list. that Does make it kinda weird that Quark mentions freeing his soul during that one scene, but i guess we're supposed to assume he just picked it up from somewhere? like he heard abt it on earth at some point? i doubt Dio wouldve said anything to him abt it in the pod, and even then i dont think hed quote him during That if he did. but how well known were the Myrmidons for him to hear that?? or was it from Junpei/what Junpei was talking abt when he said he was involved during the mars expiriment thing??? idk i just thought that was a weird connection that they didnt directly address.. i think. i couldve missed smth there

im not even gonna try to understand the entirety of the time jumping stuff when it comes to switching bodies and all that. youd think id be prepared for this kinda thing considering all the stuff ive played so far! i am not. looking at the picture they used to show how Sigma's been jumping all over the place legit gave me motivation to do my homework bc that would be easier to comprehend

on that note im like. how do i put this. i was actually super interested in where all this stuff was going for a long while bc the ideas being used were cool even if the execution was a lil wonky. like im so down for time shenanigins (with memory fuckery!! come on!!) and clones and humanlike robots and a lot of other stuff they had going on. i actually like what they were doing when they expanded the morphogenetic field stuff, although i Do wanna think of that as completely seperate from how it is in 999 bc of the retconned stuff :/ other than that what they had going on was pretty cool but. the ending just. i ,,, i dont even know the way it all came together feels so weird???? like it technically makes sense and i get what they were going for. its. ???? i wanna say what im looking for is "anticlimactic" but idk if thats right. its just..... Weird.

however i also wanna say that i am at least glad they touched on the different views of people being stuck in the "worse" timeline? Junpei being glad to have Quark despite everything while Clover and Alice have to deal with leaving behind half a century along with their friends and family. even tho they just kinda went jk lol at that part immediately afterwards???????? but whatever i guess

the characters in general were pretty fun tbh? not quite as real-feeling as 999 but still enough to be enjoyable. it was nice seeing Junpei reference a bunch of stuff from 999 and retain some pieces of himself all these years later, especially when he quoted Light ("fake, a replica, not the real thing...") its horrifying to think abt all hes been thru at this point tho ,,, Clover seemed a lot more outgoing than before but a year can change u so i cant say much abt that, it was cool to see her again regardless. Alice is an interesting one and i liked her even if she was kind of frustrating to go against in the AB games lmao. Luna has lowkey been one of my favorites thru the whole thing but i had a hard time fully trusting her for so long bc of how suspiciously innocent she was lol which wasnt entirely baseless either but yknow. Dio is admittedly funny and ridiculously good at acting like hes a normal person its actually scary. also whered he hide the bombs before planting them bc they didnt seem That small. anyway uhh Quark is a funny little guy and its nice that he straight up doesnt die (usually?? i cant remember if theres a route where he does. other than the bombs) and!!! i actually really enjoyed Kyle. no idea why. wish he didnt abandon me so many times but it fuckin be like that i guess. accidental revenge for absent fatherism. and.. Sigma. when u said u do not like him i think im with u now. not necessarily strong feelings but. yeah. but PHI.. god i wish they actually said where she came from shes just HERE and they never fuckin elaborated man who is she. she is so cool tho i love when she goes on her tangents abt stuff <3

AL OF THAT SAID u were very right when u said the puzzles in this game are fun. even tho i had to check a guide a few times bc i was genuinely clueless for some of em (u have no idea how stumped i got in the darts part of the white room puzzle. i should never do mental math this late i cant live that one down) theyre mostly really good and i did enjoy those sections especially

[thegracelessfaceless]

Rival matchup time:

"So, I’m Elsie, she/her/hers, and bi (but I lean heavily towards men rn). I’m a Virgo sun, Scorpio rising and Aquarius moon. I’m also an introvert, but I love being around other people! I just get,,,,, tired easily.

I’m East Asian + Southeast Asian (Chinese and Vietnamese). I’m barely 5’0 tall! Long, black hair that reached my upper thighs and dark brown eyes that you can’t even see the pupil lmfao. I always have painted nails, usually red. I’m pretty athletic and I also like to think I have nice thighs—most of my workouts include building up my legs lol. I wear big gold hoop earrings. I also wear round Harry Potter glasses. My body isn’t very curvy, in fact I’m pretty flat but I am COVERED in stretch marks. I also have acne flare ups from time to time but it’s usually nothing noticeable anymore.

I’d like to think I’m a pretty chill person, likes to go with the flow and stuff like that. My friends say I’m often their therapist or their mom, which is kinda funny because that’s what I’m in uni for, to be a therapist. I’m a pretty determined and motivated person? I like to push myself pretty hard ngl but I also like to just hang out and take it slow. I also like to do stupid things like exploring abandoned buildings at 2am. I’m also big into intersectional feminism. I’ve also been told I’m really approachable and friendly, but bro I am so shy and quiet in public unless I get to know you.

I can get pretty stubborn tbh, it depends once again on what the topic is but once I’ve set my mind to it, that’s how it’s going to be. I also have low self esteem and my depression sometimes makes it hard for me to even get out of bed at times. I usually don’t know when to stop giving myself to other people, which means I get pretty exhausted and fast. I’m also prone to overthinking which stresses me out. And when I’m stressed, I can honestly get a little bitey.

I apologize to inanimate objects if I’ve bumped into them, and I also have a tendency to talk to myself? I also am a witch! I’m currently elbows deep in some deity work and ngl my energy is all over the place. I also have a weird habit of waving to security cameras I see in public because I like to think the people watching those cameras get a kick out of it lol.

I really like coffee, tea, singing with my ukulele, playing piano, drawing and art in general. I haven’t been able to draw as much as I’d like recently but I do have some animatics in my head. I also really like Victoria’s Secret perfumes, specifically strawberry pound cake—it’s what I always smell like lol. Crystals are super fun imo. I live next to a huge lake and it’s honestly one of my favorite places to be. Ocean animals are my favorite! I also really like car rides with like, one other person and just exploring the world and talking. The music I listen to is a lot of classic rap, lofi-hip hop, modern rap, some pop artists and Ella Fitzgerald, Gloria Gaynor, HaroinFather, KYLE, and ofc Hollywood Undead.

I cannot stand centipedes those things horrify me. I also don’t like rude people, bigots, people who purposely start drama or hypocrites. People who put other people down aren’t cool either. I don’t really like parties or being around lots of people, they make me anxious and kinda suffocated. People who try to force me to do stuff aren’t cool in my books either. I also think red meat is kinda gross, but that’s just because it makes me exhausted."

Your rival is:

ŇƗŇΔ ŦĦ€ ҜƗŁŁ€Ř

So I've done a ton of reflecting and have finally arrived at this rivalry.

I feel like you would end up defending yourself after Nina attacks you while you're trying to talk some sense into her about her obsession with Jeff.

I mean, really. This girl carved herself up to look more like him.

She even uses a version of his catchphrase, ffs!

While its fun to write about, Nina's level of obsession with Jeff is pretty harmful to not only others, but herself.

So you try to do what you would do with any rational adult. You take her out to lunch and try to talk with her about it.

You take her to a local pizza buffet and the two of you talk over every kind of pizza toy could imagine.

It was all great... Right up until it wasn't anymore.

You'd overlooked a major flaw in your master plan. You treated Nina like a normal, rational, adult. Nina was none of the above.

Sure, she may be an adult physically.

But it's like her obsession had stunted her emotional growth.

So, naturally, Nina thinks you're trying to talk her into forgetting about Jeff so you could have him all to yourself 🙄

She grabs you by the back of the shirt and pulls you through the restaurant and out into the parking lot.

"Nina, are we really doing this?" you ask her. She sneers at you and lets go of your shirt with a shove.

"You thought I was that dumb, didn't you?" Nina began slowly pacing back and forth, within the confines of the lines of the parking space.

You'd seen a panther at the zoo pace like that at the front of his habitat. He walked back and forth in front of his home, but his eyes, fierce and cunning, stayed on the people gathered to look at him. He didn't look at them as if they were a threat. He looked at them like prospective meals. Dinner. Midnight snack. Breakfast. Supper. Dinner again. Nina looked at you like that now.

"You thought you could just take me out, tell me I'm crazy and obsessed with the love of my life, and what? That I'd just back off? Say, 'You're right, Elsie, what was I thinking?!' and we'd laugh and go to your house and watch chick flicks and laugh into the wee hours of the morning?"

Nina huffed and rolled her eyes, "Spare me, bitch." Nina started closing in, flicking her knife open. It had little charms hanging from it like a heart, a grumpy storm cloud, an excited yam, and a beaming milkshake cup. They were the cutest, most impractical thing you'd ever seen.

You weren't surprised when Nina rushed you and you stepped to the side at the last moment, catching the wrist of her knife hand in your hand and shoving the heel of you hand into the back of her hand painfully, forcing her to drop the knife.

It fell to the pavement with a clatter and you used your foot to kick it away from the two of you.

Nina looks shocked and sad as she watches it spin away from her, and then it disappeared under a parked car.

Enraged by the loss of her knife, Nina rushed you again and screams in your face.

She grabbed your arm tightly and watched as you looked at your arm where her hand gripped. Something about your expression made her let go. But...

"I won't let you have him" she snarled and she lunged again, this time knocking you off your feet. Nina rode your body to the ground, sitting on your chest and upper stomach to pin you.

"I don't want him, Nina" you spat at her, the first stirrings of anger coiling up inside of you, "What will make you see?"

"Leave us alone" she said and as she reached down and fisted a handful of your hair and used it to knock your head into the ground a couple of times, "Leave us alone so I can show my sweet prince how happy we could be."

"What do you mean 'we'?" you ask Nina, "the only reason Jeff knows you exist is because everyone started warning him about this crazy fan girl. If we're truthful, he's stated that you kind of scare him."

"You expect me to believe that he's afraid? Afraid of anything? Especially afraid of a girl much smaller than him who would give him anything he asked for. Anything.'

She punctuated that last word with another attempt to thump your skull into the ground, but you tightened your muscles and wouldn't allow the movement.

Nina let go to slap you and you threw your body upwards, throwing Nina off of you, and you sat up and crawled over to pin Nina down.

"Just give up," you hiss at her, "I don't want him, I swear it. But don't lie to yourself anymore. Jeff will never love you, not the way you want him to. He may fear you, Nina, but he'll never love you."

You watched as a myriad of emotions cross over her face. Rage. Uncertainty. Denial. Stubbornness. Pleading. Her face collapsed into despair, which slowly faded to reluctant acceptance.

You move back slightly to let Nina up, rubbing the back of your head where it was starting to ache. When she doesn't make any aggressive movements, you let her up completely, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

"So... You're gonna be alright?"

Nina shrugged slightly, looking drained and disenchanted, her arms crossing under her breasts to hold her.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this, Nina.."

"Go."

"I understand you probably hate me right now. You're hurt, but maybe in time we could make a friends-"

"Get out of my sight. Now" Nina growled, "I'll hurt you the next time I see you. Now go."

You turn away from Nina and start walking away. You get at least 500 feet away from her and stop, looking at her over your shoulder.

She looked so small, now, uncertain, folded in on herself as she hugged herself tightly, staring at nothing in particular in the middle distance between us.

"Nina" you call, "It's fine to hate me right now. But when you're not so raw about it, maybe we could hang out. Watch chick flicks, do each others nails and eat ice cream?"

The corner of Nina's mouth pulled up in a wry smile, "I'll think about it when I don't want to kill you."

You smile, "It's a start. Take care of yourself, Nina.

Ahh I hope you like it! I really tried to branch out from typical answers, too. I like to think that a rivalry with you wouldn't be like a lasting thing. You'd just do what you could to a) get them to listen, and b) keep yourself as safe as possible, and set them straight with no hard feelings afterwards.

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.