#but surprisingly luxferre is less so

[crappyyuki]

A son's bitterness

Everything was...alright after him and Runa got home.

Okay, maybe alright overselled it a bit but it wasn't as terrible as he thought it'd be.

Sure, some days passed like a snail and the house became more empty and bigger like it'd swallow him whole but after a bit of talking to with Frey, remembering his dad through hummed tunes and lullabies, and going out more, it was...okay. Alright.

Maybe Dad was right about him needing to talk to other people more.

But then a portal opened in the meadow.

And what reasonable reaction was to ready the sword you started carrying around everyday because of paranoia? Hell, even Runa couldn't blame him! She was getting ready too!

So when two things started getting out of the portal, Chael prepared a lunge and an attack.

And then he did and its a guy with spiky black hair, a ridiculously long beard, and wings. They both have wings.

It's Ponitifex Temir.

Reds glance up to the other by his side who looks terribly shaken and amused and its Luxferre.

"What the fuck." Runa says eloquently.

And Chael flushes red, gets off the angel, and helps him up with shaky hands. "I'm so sorry." He starts, wringing his hands together as a habit when he apologizes. "I didn't know you two would visit and I thought you were the–"

But the older man–angel laughs at him, albeit awkwardly. "No no, it's quite alright. We did come here unannounced after all. I suppose we had it coming."

Rubies roll. "No kidding."

"Runa!"

And that's that.

They lead them back to the house because where else would they go aside from their house? But Chael walks lightly because the two angels gawk at Outer Iris' flourishing greens and trees and colorful flowers. "You live here?" Luxferre asks.

Chael snorts. "No. I just tour here a lot."

They blink at him. Chael smiles painfully. "It's a joke."

"Oh." And they start laughing.

Chael looks away as to not let them see the awkwardness on his face. Then Runa hovers over his ear. "Oh god why are they here?"

He gives a subtle shrug in return.

They eventually get there and Frey's already sitting on her usual seat, always seeming to visit out of nowhere and its so frequent he doesn't even think twice to greet her. "Oh hey, Frey."

She blinks from the book she's reading, nursing a cup in her other hand. "Oh hey, Chael."

Frey now noticed the two other people behind him and takes a double take. And instead of dropping the cup like he expected, she chucks it at them.

Which is luckily caught by Luxferre, who now has a drenched shirt.

"Frey!" Him and Runa scream for vastly different reasons. Chael for growing embarrassment and Runa for pride and hilarity.

Realizing what she's done though, she apologizes, stands, and gets Luxferre a towel in the house.

But unlike what he expected from two royal Divine Tribe members for the unwelcomed welcome, they just stare at Frey's retreating form. "Doesn't she look like Celine?"

And Chael winces. Oh that's gonna be something.

And it was. But surprisingly, they get over it pretty quickly. Sure, there's weary gazes and tons of questions but Frey explains to them stiffly of what happened.

But when they ask why, Chael steps up. "She doesn't have to explain herself to you." They back down and Frey gives him a grateful squeeze.

Now though, Chael has questions for them. "What're you guys doing here?" He asks, eyes hard but heart thumping loudly in his ribs. He squeezes Frey's hand for comfort and she squeezes back to remind him she's there too.

Runa just glares. Which is fair. They did throw them in prison. And never apologized.

The two falter, wings lowering behind them. Luxferre clears his throat. "Well, we wanted to...visit you."

Chael nods but asks to continue. Temir, naive naive Temir, smiles casually and says, "can't I see my son every once and a while?"

And his heart drops to his stomach.

So that's why.

There's something tight in his chest, willing to be free, but Chael swallows it down with practiced politeness and says, "I see," with no hint of a smile. That's all he can give them.

They smile at him though and the feeling burns. Ambers and rubies look at him in concern but Chael breathes and conveys a no to subtle head shakes.

They stay closer after that. He appreciates it.

Chael stands. "Would you like some food then? I was getting ready to make lunch."

But they shake their head. "Thank you but we brought our own food."

Chael nods and goes inside, giving them a glance and an, "I'll make our lunch then."

Before he goes, Runa shouts, "heat up the pie for me, Chael!" And he gives her a thumbs up, not trusting his voice. He can already feel the concern behind his head.

He cooks with a mantra of, "dont cry don't cry don't cry," because crying on the food he'll give to Frey and Runa would be kinda gross and he doesn't really want to explain why his eyes look red. He can't help but let out some sniffles though as he heats up the pie.

Creator, he wishes this day was over.

Time passes too quickly this time and he has to go out again to serve the food and give the other two some utensils so they can eat. He does that, inhaling calming breaths then going out. Quickly, he gives the two angels a plate then gives Frey and Runa their meal. He looks up to see Frey frowning at him with pursed lips and he gives her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

He goes in for the final time, relishing the loneliness for a moment, before coming out with his plate and the pie Runa requested.

They're eating now. They all are. And Luxferre and Temir are eating...something. They see him looking and smiles. "This is a fine cuisine in the Heavenly Realm." The fine cuisine blinks at him. "Would you like some?"

He stares at the dish with blank eyes, then at Frey who smiles and also gets one, and sighs. "Sure." He says apprehensively, taking it and putting it on his plate. It's staring at him. Chael gulps, bringing it into his mouth and–

Runa gags.

Swallowing with a shudder, Chael decides he's never eating that again if he has a choice.

But Luxferre and Temir looks so happy and brings more. "Here. You're a growing boy, eat some!" He has no choice. Runa has the decency to not laugh and look at him with pity while Frey, bless her heart, takes some of it off his plate.

"Thank you." He whispers. Frey chuckles and eats it in one go. He gulps down shakily as the food continues to watch him. How can she eat it with a straight face?

There's more moments like that. Luxferre tries to help with the dishes but breaks one of the plates. Temir tries to get the glass but ends up getting bleeding fingers. He but all shoves them all outside so he can work in peace and that Frey can patch them up. He stiffles a laugh at the sound of scolding outside, already hearing Runa's mad cackles.

These two angels, one basically a king and the other a mighty commander, out of their depth as they try to navigate the human world so much different than their own.

They're trying. They really are. They're trying to be a part of this even when it's clear that they aren't.

He should appreciate the gesture. He really should, father had said that he should be grateful of the effort others put into helping. But as much as Chael believed that, as much as Chael wanted to uphold all his father's lessons, he can't help but feel angry.

No. Not angry. Bitter.

Because after everything they did, after everything they didn't do, after everything that happened, they were trying to pretend that nothing happened.

Like he wasn't treated like total garbage arriving at Midgard, like he wasn't thrown to jail for the crime of existing and for the crimes he didn't commit, like they didn't just allowed a 14 year old deal with the faith of the world on his own.

Father he could always forgive. He was there to help him in any way that he could. He died for the world for godsake!

Luxferre apologized for everything he did and helped him with Antione so he guessed he could forgive but not forget.

But Temir? The guy that took Celine and made her into a portal? The guy that helped the demon that summoned him and dad and got them almost killed?

The guy that was trying to be his father like it was okay to try and replace the dad he helped kill?

Give him a break.

At least Luxferre had the decency to look sheepish, to keep distance, to fucking apologize for everything and help him carry his dad and help him pay for the goddamn casket.

But Temir? Pontifex Temir? Who'd been the reason why the Degenerated Tribe were exiled and why he was treated like trash. Who'd been a helping hand to Tariq's plan to summon him and his dad. Who'd been one of the reasons why his dad was dead.

He can't forgive him. He can't. He can't forgive him even if he apologized. He was honestly glad that Temir didn't, at least he would have a reason to not forgive him.

So Chael's the one moving away from a hug Temir pulls him in. He's the first to leave to bring their dishes to the sink so he has some time for himself and to have less time to spend with them. He's the one not keeping eye contact and when he does it's nothing but a frown and a tight controlled grimace.

He misses when things were simpler. He misses his dad.

So when they leave, Chael breaks down into Frey's arms, burying his face and staining her shirt and cry cry cry like that wasn't what he's been trying to not do this entire time.

Runa hovers like a warm glow on his shoulder, patting his back with little hands and sympathetic reds.

Frey holds him like she's keeping the pieces from falling apart, keeping him together even if he's crumbling into dust in front of her. She holds him tight, reminding him she's still there and he's not there, whispering sweet nothings into his ear or humming songs under her breath.

It's almost like he was in his dad's arms again. Strong, warm, dependent.

(Shaking, wet, cold.)

But it's not the same. As much as he loves Frey's tight bear hugs, he misses the soft but firm embraces dad would give him, as though his arms were meant to hold him. The black cloak becoming his favorite blanket or the embrace as his favorite piece of armor that protects him.

Frey's arms kept him together as much it did break him apart.

Dad's arms around him meant that nothing bad would ever reach him.

And Chael misses that. He misses that so much.

He cries and cries and cries until he can't anymore, wishing, begging, hoping, that this was all a dream.

It wasn't.

It was only them surrounded by the cool breeze with a lone moon looming over.

"It's not fair." He says coarsely, a weak defiance against the fate that screwed him over. "It's not fair!"

Frey hushes him, rubbing circles on his back. "I know, Chael. I know."

"Why?" He grits his teeth. "Wh–why did they have to come back?" His nails dig into his palms. "They didn't–they didnt even–" Chael sucks in a sharp breath. Frey hushes him.

"It's like what happened was nothing—"

"It isn't nothing."

"It's NOT!" He agrees, all but composed. His voice cracks pathetically and for the times that the two call out on it, they don't now. Instead, they hush and whisper and comfort and he's so so grateful as he is tired. "It's not and they can't just–just show up like they. Did. Nothing!"

Runa huffs and quietly says when Chael wasn't screaming his lungs out. "They suck."

He snorts, it's a small fragile little thing, and he gulps, voice dying out to just gasps.

Frey, bless her soul for putting up with him, just holds him tighter and brushes her lips on his cheek to make him forget for just a moment. And it's at that moment he finally finally composes himself, picks up the pieces, stitch it together like the jacket be tried to stitch together but failed miserably, to have at least a semblance of calm.

It's not the greatest but at least he doesn't feel like ripping his heart out and throw it to the ground.

He buries his wet face on the crook of Frey's shoulder. "I hate him."

"Hm?" A question, a nonjudgemental one. And Chael trusts Frey to hold his brittle heart again and not let it break. 

"I hate Temir so much. I. Hate. Him." She pauses but doesn't stop, instead she readjusts her hold to run a soothing hand through his hair. And Life, Chael loves her so much. "I hate him I hate him I hate–"

It feels childish really. It feels so fucking childish. But it feels good. It feels good to let his anger out into the world and just be angry.

Father would be so disappointed. But gods he can't care right now.

Because...because–"he's trying to get into my life. He's trying to be dad. I hate that."

Frey, hell even Runa, pats his back. Gods, he forgot Runa practically raised him too. So not only were they spitting at dad's grave, they were also spitting on Runa. The audacity. The fucking audacity. He turns to Runa, giving her a red teary glance. "It's like what you guys did was nothing."

Runa, for what its worth, doesn't react. Doesn't judge. Doesn't flinch. She just watches, smiles, being reassuring like dad had been.

But doubts creep up regardless. "Does he have the right to be my father?" He can't help but ask because Temir is his dad. He's trying to be. And he's not sure if he should let him or if its right to.

It's Runa the one that speaks this time. "Only if you want him to be." She says firmly, digging her tiny nails on her his shoulder. Then she grows soft. "Do you want him to?"

Chael tries, oh he tries hard to see the angel with pristine armor as the raising for him. The one caring for him, the one training him, comforting him, and he finds that fuck that, all he can see is a black cloak, cerulean eyes, a loving smile, and a raspy low voice scolding him but also lulling him to sleep.

And he doesn't want to stop seeing that. He doesn't want that to change.

"No." Chael answers, for once sure in his confusing awful destined life.

And they accept that. "Then that's that." Runa says and Frey hums.

Then the doubts start creeping in again. "You think dad would be mad at me? For not giving him a chance?"

And Runa? Runa just snorts. "Chael, Mr Regret loved being your dad more than anything." She says a matter-of-factly. "I think he'd be thrilled you picked him over some racist piece of–" she closes her mouth. "Yeah. Besides, didn't he say he was the son of Ladon? Pretty sure he knows all about shitty dads."

Chael? Chael bursts laughing. Because that–that is so ironic. The irony in that is just so astronomical that its not funny but it makes Chael laugh like he's heard the best joke in history. Which it kinda is.

And Frey? She just chimes in like its nothing. "And didn't you tell me that he told you that 'he was the flesh of Ladon'? Not son? Daddy issues, I tell you."

"Pretty sure he's adopted too." Runa adds. "Heard him muttering a few times how he was gonna tell you how you're adopted and how he's gonna tell you about his dad. His human dad."

It makes him laugh even harder.

"He was not subtle, was he?" Runa asks, looking proud of herself.

Frey giggles underneathe his slightly hysterical one. "No. No he wasn't."

Ruby eyes roll. "He really thought he was subtle about it too."

"Guys–" Chael manages to croak. "Don't disrespect the dead, c'mon!"

They both grin at him. "You're the one laughing, not us." They say.

And Chael just can't stop laughing. "I can't believe we're both adopted."

Frey shrugs. "Hey, me and Seru are orphans. Not really rare."

"Speak for yourself." Runa smugly points to herself. "My mama loved me."

Both Frey and Chael roll their eyes. "You're the oddball here, not us."

Runa blows out a raspberry.

"Life, we're a weird bunch, aren't we?" He asks, pulling away and rubbing his eyes.

They both shrug again. "Eh. Can't say it's not great." Frey replies, her eyes showing no regrets at all.

Runa, just gives a thumbs down. "Imagine being normal. Lameeeeeee." Chael chuckles, her tone reminding him of the time she comforted him from his childhood bullies.

As the breeze brushed past them, Chael looks up to the moon. "I miss him."

And they both soften considerably. "We miss him too." Runa nods at Frey's response.

"You think he's watching over us?"

Runa is silent this time around and this time Frey is the one speaking with a dismissive hand. "You should've seen him when you were missing then. He said that once he found you two, you were gonna get wrapped in bubble wrap and never going outside again."

Both Chael and Runa gulp. "Definitely watching then." Chael mutters.

"If not," Runa starts. "Threatening gods."

They all look at each other. "Definitely threatening gods."

"He was really protective, wasn't he?" Runa asks, knowing the answer. The two blonds answer anyway.

"Yup."

"You remember when he found us in the woods getting chased by Mukakas?" Frey starts.

"Oh yeah!" Chael brightens. "He was so cool. Like he went in and swoosh and bam and then–"

He remembers that day well. As terrifying that day had been, hearing a clash through growls underneath squeezed shut eyes and then opening to see a black blur spur in and put a distance between an injured Frey and him was a shock. Even more as they ran, he saw the way his father gracefully and swiftly attack each monster with a sword he always wondered why he carried it. It was...breathtaking. It made him wonder as he looked at useless hands if he could do it too. And now he could.

"You guys remember when Mr Regret beat your ass?" Runa prompts and Chael gives her a deadpanned stare.

"Yes. It was everyday, Runa. Every. Single. Day." But as exhausting training had been, it was worth it. Strict discipline. Patient observations. Chael learned through falls and mistakes. From an amateur to an experienced warrior. His dad told him so.

Dad told him he was proud of him.

He stares at now calloused hands. "I hope he's okay."

Chael startles at the hand on his shoulder and meets the gentle gaze of Frey who smiles at him and stares upward. He follows and sees a lone twinkling star in the moonlit sky. "I'm sure he is."

Runa hums quietly, sitting on his other shoulder.

The breeze blows past him, the cold caressing his cheeks. His eyes start burning.

"I'll make you proud." He whispers to the air, not enough for Frey or Runa to hear.

He swears he hears the wind say, "I already am." in the distance.