#but still i hope we get some solid mileage out of this bit

[hideyseek]

AHAHAHAHAHA. SURPRISE INSPECTION. BOSS IS OUT. GET YOUR INTERN TO PRETEND TO BE YOUR DEPARTMENT HEAD. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG WITH THIS

[schismusic]

In the shadow of the horns: meditations on Team Ico's works – 2½. Project: Robot

Okay, there's only so much mileage I can get out of less than these two minutes of footage – even though it's, ahem, actual gameplay, which I believe is a mystifying statement at best. This, and I should probably be talking about The Last Guardian first, right? All of this is true. I raise you this: episode 1 was about Shadow of the Colossus, as opposed to Ico, so I've already set a precedent for being weird about the order this is going to take. Secondly, and more importantly, it's going to take a really long while before I go back to The Last Guardian. Not because I did not like the game: quite the opposite, actually, I thought it was stunning, but more on that when I actually write about it. It's just going to take a lot of concentration to replay it while taking notes and trying to ignore the sounds of my PS4 lifting off as the game runs. So let's focus on this much less electricity-intensive task first, shall we?

It's some dude (gender neutral) with a mask who climbs on top of some gigantic robot, goes on top of its head and has it detach, taking flight to avoid some kind of massive storm approaching. It's like a cross between Dormin's darkness and space debris as seen on the rings of Saturn/an asteroid belt. The head and its occupant are however quickly taken away by the storm itself and that's where the trailer ends. Some have speculated that this might already be a gameplay loop on its own, but – given the sheer amount of setpieces displayed by The Last Guardian – I'm inclined to think the exact opposite. My hopes are as follows: not only is this not representative of the final gameplay loop, but this is literally just the game's intro, or something.

Check this out: what if it's like Shadow of the Colossus, wherein perhaps there's a repeating gameplay loop of sorts that focuses heavily on exploration (of some deeper, fuller world than that of SotC – or maybe something even emptier, better conveyed through more powerful technology), but with the added narrative thing from The Last Guardian thrown in for good measure. Sort of à la Death Stranding when it actually starts gaining steam, in a way, but with the added Ueda thing where everything is melancholy and faraway and stunningly silent and meditative. Which is actually why I called this series a set of meditations, of all things – these are games that invite a level of thought that doesn't necessarily take the usual steps that Aristotle-based logic – for lack of a better word that isn't "Western", which one could see as sort of a cop-out in this scenario – would deem indispensable.

Such an approach, for starters, would explain the use of English in the spoken bits of the game. I've been playing Outer Wilds lately (thank you @alexswordsman for insisting that I give it a shot – you were right all along) and see, now that's a game that sounds like a solid peer to what I hope this one big ass robot game turns out to be. The idea is that the so-called plot of the game may be lived entirely in retrospect, but keeping the usual cryptic approach that Ueda and the team seem to favor in their storytelling. So there's this dude (gender neutral) who has to repair their robot, or somehow traverse a landscape, and in the meantime they come to learn… something, I guess, about who was here before? Or maybe just who was hit the hardest by that debris storm from the trailer, mere hours ago? Who knows, not me, I'm just speculating because I have way too much free time on my hands. Would love to hear you guys' thoughts on the matter. Gender neutral, of course.

I realize I'm still trying to think of Ueda as a creative, after all of these years, in one of two ways:

he's doing his usual thing, and he's thinking within his own box.

he's looking out to other developers in attempts to make a mishmash of random cool titles that might have interesting elements.

The problem with both of these lines of thought is that it makes no sense to close off one or the other. I can't shake the feeling that there will be, simultaneously, more and less than what I've discussed above. Again, this entire post is nothing more than a bunch of speculation and opinions piled together into a trenchcoat, but I'm still feeling way too up in the air about this. The one thing I'm sure of is, I am really excited about this. My best hope for this is not that it finds its market niche, or its "target audience", or any of that BMA crap. I just hope it's a good Ueda game, one that strikes emotional chords with the same grace and poise and elegance as the others do.

Now for another robot song, and it's the last one, I swear.

[angelsndragons]

okay since folks really like my original cockroach party post i’m going to expand a bit and talk about how and why the mighty nein turned into a cockroach party.

but before we do that, i’m going to talk about mechanics on this post. warning: long post ahead.

first, let’s define terms. all adventuring parties find their own play style when it comes to combat. from my experience, these tend to fall into three broad categories that i am calling the glass cannon, the control, and the cockroach. to be clear, no one party style is better than another; the players and characters simply have different priorities and skill sets.  

glass cannon: these parties are built for doing damage. that’s basically it. they do damage and hope that they kill their enemies before their enemies kill them. these parties tend to be low on support casters, healers, or both. round 4 is where things start to get really rough for these parties and chances are good that if the fight has gone on this long, someone’s at least unconscious.

control: these parties tend to go around obstacles and enemies. there are a million ways to do this; for example, these parties can regularly avoid conflicts all together via stealth or charisma or some other check. when forced into combat, they excel when they have plans or traps to spring on opponents. they struggle a bit but ultimately triumph because they have a myriad of ways to not get hit or they are able to escape and lose their pursuers. 

cockroach: these parties don’t engage in combat, they endure it. their goal is to outlast their enemies via healing, support, and tanking. you hit them? joke’s on you, they don’t care. unlike their glass cannon counterparts, round 4 is where things turn around for the cockroach party. they’ve dug in and are starting to push back.

vox machina is a quintessential glass cannon party. part of that is simply down to player availability; ashley their cleric worked across the country so that made it tough for her to attend on the regular. but. the party technically still had a primary healer who could have stepped in and filled that role: keyleth. druids are pretty dang good healers and support casters, even moon druids. however. marisha and keyleth decided to instead take a dps and tank role similar to grog. this ain’t a diss either so don’t any of you all start anything, especially considering keyleth was often burning her higher slots just to get vm to different places. when keyleth was tanking in wild shape and focusing on dps, it meant that vox machina was reliant on: vex’s cure wounds (and with her being a half caster, you weren’t getting a lot of mileage of it), scanlan as the only support role, and later vax’s lay on hands for emergency healing. percy could heal himself a bit if things got really dicey, grog was taking half damage from most attacks, and the twins could hide as a bonus action or stay at range out of the way. in fact, most of vm had some method for staying at range and letting grog and keyleth tank. and this style worked for them for the most part. their biggest dangers were always the longer fights, with or without pike. longer fights meant more chances for these fragile kids to get hit and possibly drag out the fight even longer by trying to get someone up.

the ashholes from exandria unlimited is a great example of a control party. i count half of their encounters which they’ve been able to wriggle out of without killing their opponents. their liberal use of charm spells, high charisma, and just flat out out of the box thinking (they flipped a fucking crocodile!!) has saved their bacon so many times. during unavoidable combat, they have struggled a little bit, but they’re a low level party to begin with so struggle is expected. all the casters appear to be offensively geared with dariax and fearne having prepped utility on the side. even so, that control vibe still permeates the party; dorian’s most clutch move was that dissonant whispers on mister, which he cast not to harm mister but force him to move away from the rune that transformed and powered him, thus ending the combat.

and finally we have the mighty nein, the cockroach party. we’ll get into the hows and whys later, for now, cockroach parties are built on three major founding principles: action economy, mindset, and versatility. action economy is king in dnd. pcs get an action, bonus action, and reaction per turn. having turns each round is critical to a dnd party's ability to overcome the enemy and the more turns you have compared to your opponent, the better. for large parties, that is a sizable advantage over enemy monsters, which is why even low level monsters are packing multi-attacks, decent ac, and/or good solid hit points. more members means more attacks the creature(s) needs to take and focused fire adds up fast, even at low levels. for example, kylre had about 90 hp and was dead in three rounds, with fjord alone dealing 64 points of that damage. yeah. want to know why mid to high level monsters have legendary actions and resists? action economy. want to know why some silly min-max number crunchers think that cleric healing is severely under-powered? action economy. laura's assessment of healing, that it is better to damage the enemy and only heal to bring people up to make sure they get their turn, is a solid, reasonable assessment of the economy, especially when it comes to the cleric spell slot economy which I elaborated on here.

so, in light of the action economy, let's talk about the cockroach mindset. the cockroach party doesn’t ask ‘how do we beat this opponent’, it asks ‘how do we outlast this opponent.’ it’s a subtle difference in combat focus but an important one. survival of the party is the cockroach’s top priority and all members go into the encounter with that priority in mind. the players aren’t focused on the survival of their character, however, they are focused on giving their party another round to act. they give themselves room to breathe. whether that is stunning the enemy completely, whether it's lowering the enemy's attacking ability, whether it's giving a party member an extra action, whether it’s bringing someone up from unconsciousness, those methods combine with damage generation to win an encounter. cockroach parties don't rely on damage output to keep themselves safe, they rely on their own ability to survive and support their team. 

which brings us to versatility. cockroach parties tend to have a wide array of skills at their disposal and aren’t afraid to use them. while they have solid support roles, casters are not the only ones who can bring utility to a party. just ask beau. just ask yasha as she flew caleb out of danger in the first lucien fight. heck, just ask orym and his swip swap battle flop. or damian and the owlbear from the darrington brigade. cockroach parties, more than control and glass cannon parties, prefer to have a wide range of options available to them. the more tricks up your sleeve, the more likely you are to have something to deal with whatever the dm throws at you. marine layer, anyone? at the same time, the party also uses this wide array to have multiple ways to handle the same problem. jester is the backup stealth scout and teleporter. fjord is the emt, able to remove and heal injured party members if caduceus or jester cannot. caleb is the backup backup cleric with polymorph. veth can also stun/incapacitate enemies with her spells. caduceus is the backup backup tank and battlefield control via his shield of retribution and spirit guardians to beau and jester.

these three tricks combine into one inescapable reality: there is no one better or obvious target to take out. the entire party is one giant interlocking trap; break one and the others will reinforce the weak point and make you pay for the effort.

(incidentally, the cockroach approach is so ingrained in the cast that the vm side of the battle royale didn’t play with the urgency the vm playbook requires and that, more than anything, screwed them over. but that’s a different post.)

tune in next time for a break down of how, when, and why the nein went from glass cannon to cockroach because it is a fascinating ride.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: March 2022

We’re just breezing along this 2022, aren’t we? Here’s how I spent the month.

……….FILM……….

The Batman (2022) You know what? Pretty good! The hot rod car and high collar batsuit were cool, but what if they reeeeeeally went for it. Greasers and fights in a repair shop and a drag race to get to the macguffin on time? Anyway it was a solid batman movie with lots of detective work and that’s cool.

7 Days in Hell (2015) I mean it ended the only way it could. I tend to like my sports mockumentaries with a little more music, but still a solid effort.

Jackass: The Movie (2002) Having never seen any Jackass beyond a few clips on the internet, I was impressed with how much held up. I mean lots didn’t but the best bits, to me, are the ones that are funny not at the expense of random people, but in the setup itself. Dressing up like a mouse and crawling across a floor covered in mousetraps is a perfect example. Or the tidal wave. It’s all looney tunes at the end of the day but I suppose I like it best when everyone is in on it.

Jackass Forever (2022) So glad I saw the original first and that I got to see this in theatres (even with just a handful of other people...such a communal experience). It did away with all that was outdated and just kept the good stuff: friends hanging out and hurting each other/themselves. So silly. So pure.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) While a lot of the sex-positive stuff of the time now feels really outdated, I’m surprised by how much held up! The colours. The transitions. The jokes that didn’t rely on late-nineties references. All fun. It amazes me how much of a an influence this 90 minute comedy movie had on the culture. Just wild.

……….TELEVISION……….

The Bachelor (Episode 26.08 to 26.12) Despite the total mess that was the last 3ish episodes, they found a way to make me feel content with how it all wrapped up. Has Clayton learned anything? Probably not. Was he easily manipulated and a poor choice for the lead? Almost certainly. Am I excited about the upcoming BFF season of the Bachelorettes? 100%.

Love is Blind (Episode 2.01 to 2.11) What a whirlwind. I wish we got to see more of the people that didn’t match up but I suppose that doesn’t fit the show’s purpose. But I AM glad they gave us the reunion because it provided so much more insight into who these people might be (looking at you, Shake) and for that, I say thank you.

Peacemaker (Episode 1.01 to 1.08) A fun season of tv. Not much filler and most of the jokes worked (the classroom bit with the student asking Peacemaker about her mom REALLY got me) and an appropriately wacky plot. Love some zany/colourful/gross superhero stuff.

……….READING……….

The Skylark of Space by E. E. “Doc” Smith (Complete) I picked up the entire Skylark series at a thrift store having never heard of it and based solely on the cool covers. Turns out this is one of the earliest space operas and was written in the early twenties. People talk like they’re on an old timey radio show and I love that. It also comes with a lot of the politics of the time so your mileage will vary. If you’re looking for a pulpy adventure like John Carter of Mars then this will deliver.

Frankenstein: Junji Ito Story Collection by Junji Ito (Complete) My first foray into Ito’s work and a great introduction. His take on Frankenstein felt as tragic and disgusting as I’d hoped. Plus there are a bunch of short stories at the end that get into his weirder and sillier stuff so I’m definitely going to be picking up more of these collections. 

Dorohedoro vol 1 by Q Hayashida (Complete) After finishing (and loving) the Netflix adaptation, I really wanted to keep going with these characters. Thus I picked up a copy of the comic! I think there are 26 volumes and tells a complete narrative so even if the show doesn’t get renewed, I can see how it all wraps up. Volume 1 covered the first couple episodes so I don’t think it’ll take long before i get into new territory.

……….AUDIO……….

Billy Talent (2003) and Billy Talent II (2006) by Billy Talent The Ongoing History of New Music is doing a deep dive into the history of Billy Talent through interviews with the band and it’s been a great listen! I’ve been going back through their catalog and starting with the most familiar (to me).

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Forthcoming, Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 crew continues to push Oz in directions i hadn’t imagined. They’re researching magic ash and altering thrifted clothes for a formal dinner event but the really intriguing plan is to pull a Talented Mr. Ripley and assume the identity of a snobby arts patron to start living the high life. D&D is fun.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) We’re back in Neverland but this month has been spent preparing, and then exploring, the land with the land. The world of the Fairies is even more dangerous than Neverland but the players are surviving so far! Full campaign diary is over here on reddit.

And that’s it! As always, I welcome any recommendations and see you in April.

[annerbhp]

Lucky

- part one

- part two

- part three

- part four

- part five

- part six

- part seven

- part eight

Part Nine

Harry can confidently say that he has never passed quite so pleasant of an afternoon on the Hogwarts Express in his life.

And it’s not just because he gets to spend a great deal of it kissing Ginny.

Kissing Ginny. He still has a hard time believing it, despite the fact that she is still sitting right next to him, her arm pressed against his. Solid and real.

It’s something he’d been imagining and uncomfortably dreaming about for a while now, but not something he ever had hopes of actually coming true. And the real thing is so much better than his sodding pillow. So, so much better.

They haven’t spent the entire time kissing, of course, just as content to chat aimlessly, and for all Ginny is sometimes a complete mystery to him, they never seem to lack things to talk about. She also doesn’t always agree with him, having a way of asking him questions that make him pause and consider, but not feel like she’s nagging him, and he isn’t really sure why that is yet.

Even when they aren’t though, like right now, he doesn’t feel panic like he has to come up with something. They aren’t kissing or talking, just sitting here, and it’s strangely…great. 

Like it’s maybe too good to be true. 

“What?” Ginny asks.

Harry shakes himself, realizing he’s just staring down at her, and he really needs to quit doing that. Especially with their imminent arrival approaching. And holidays at the Burrow. For two weeks. With her entire family.

That thought helps wipe whatever ridiculous expression he’s doubtlessly sporting at the moment. “Nothing,” he says.

“Hmm,” she says, like she doesn’t buy that for a moment, but she also doesn’t press.

There’s a knock on the compartment door just a moment before it stars sliding open. “I’m coming in,” Hermione announces.

“Yeah, we can see that,” Harry says.

“Oh,” Hermione says, glancing at them. “I just wasn’t sure…”

“Don’t worry,” Ginny says, voice overly bright. “We finished with our illegal potion-making at least, what?” She turns to Harry. “An hour ago?”

Harry nods. “Sold them all too. Hope that first year doesn’t misuse that Draught of Living Death.”

Ginny shakes her head solemnly. “That would be a shame.”

“Or mix it up with the love potion,” he says. 

Ginny stifles a laugh, turning her face towards his shoulder, and Harry suddenly feels like he could take on a thousand dementors.

Hermione just sighs, grumbling under her breath about how unbearable couples are. 

Ginny looks up at him, eyes still sparkling with mirth, and he nearly leans over and kisses her.

“I should probably get back,” she says.

Almost against his will, his hand tightens around hers, and it’s only then he realizes her hand has ended up in his at some point and hasn’t left.

Ginny’s eyes dart towards Hermione, and he supposes she feels they’ve tortured her enough for one day. “I should go say goodbye to Smita and Tobias and get my things.”

“Yeah,” he says, knowing it would be petty to make her stay any longer. “I guess I’ll see you on the platform.”

She nods. “Yes, you will,” she says, and then she’s lifting up and giving him a fleeting kiss, just to the side of his mouth, like this is something they might do now.

She pulls away, looking a little self-conscious, and all Harry can do is look back at her, certain that stupid look is on his face again.

She gets to her feet, her hand squeezing his once before pulling free. She looks over at Hermione. “I hope you have a nice break, Hermione.”

She looks up at Ginny. “Thanks. I’m looking forward to a little peace and quiet.”

Ginny laughs. “I can only imagine.” They regard each other for a moment. “Well, happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas,” Hermione says with a nod.

Ginny turns for the door, smiling at Harry before reaching for the latch.

He doesn’t think he’s imagining that she takes an extra moment before opening the door, her shoulders squaring and chin lifting. He only catches a glimpse of her face as she leaves, just enough to see that any warmth or softness in her expression have completely disappeared.

Harry thinks he hears someone say her name in the distance before the door slides shut, cutting off all sound from the hall.

*     *     *

The platform is loud with crowds of people, steam billowing up over the sound of various pets complaining against too many hours spent in cages. Calls of ‘Mum? Where are you?’ and ‘Dad! Over here!’ and ‘See you next term!’

They find Hermione’s parents first, Harry saying goodbye to her before glancing around for the Weasleys. Ron is already with them when Harry finds them.

Molly sweeps him up into a hug, Arthur shaking his hand.

“Now where is Ginny?” Molly asks, looking around.

“You seen her, Harry?” Ron asks, with an all-too-innocent tone that tells Harry he clearly saw his sister come down to the Gryffindor end of the train. Though why he would say that in front of his parents, of all people…

“Um,” Harry says, panicking. 

“Neither of you saw her?” Molly asks.

“I walked right past you, Ron, at least twice,” Ginny says, appearing as if from nowhere. “Though I can understand why you might not have seen me, distracted as you were.”

With Lavender attached to his face, Harry assumes she means.

Molly frowns, glancing at her son. “Why were you distracted, Ron? What have you been getting up to?”

Ron sputters, ears turning red.

“Oh, nothing,” Ginny says breezily, as if her threat to expose Ron’s relationship with Lavender hadn’t been delivered loud and clear. “He was just really into a chess match. I think he probably took a small fortune off his dormmates.”

“Ron,” Molly says, clucking her tongue. “What have I said about gambling? Did you brothers’ experience at the World Cup teach you nothing?”

“I promise, Mum,” Ron says, looking relieved. “I wasn’t doing it for money.”

Ginny lets out a quiet huff of amusement and then crosses over to Arthur, giving him a giant squeeze. Arthur lifts her up off her feet a little bit, Ginny laughing and smacking his arm.

“Dad, put me down!”

He drops her back to her feet, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, clearly content to have mortified his daughter just the right amount. 

“Shall we get moving?” Arthur asks.

They collect up their things, pressing close as they line up to go out through the barrier. At one point, Ginny brushes up against Harry, grinning at him, his stomach doing a silly little swoop that nearly sends him crashing into the wrong pillar.

Once safely out on the other side of the barrier, Tonks and Kingsley are waiting for them.

“Wotcher, Harry,” she says with a grin, snapping a giant pink wad of bubble gum. 

“Are you expecting trouble?” Harry asks. It’s not that he isn’t happy to see them, it just seems a bit overkill.

Kingsley smiles at him. “Just being cautious.”

“Right,” Harry says, the whole world seeming to rush back in at once.

***

In the cars provided by the Ministry, Ginny sits between Tonks and her mum, Harry, Ron and her dad sitting opposite, with Kingsley in the front with the driver. They’ll likely get home in half as much time this way.

Harry, of course, seems to think it’s a giant imposition on everyone, like it’s a lot of fuss over nothing. Ginny isn’t sure if it is or not. Tonks and Kingsley hardly seem the sort for overreaction. But then, there’s a lot she doesn’t know about the situation.

Ginny amuses herself by talking with Tonks, even as she is more than aware of the strange stony silence between Ron and Harry, the two of them giving each other looks when the other doesn’t see.

It’s enough to make her wonder exactly what kind of conversations they’ve had about Harry dating Ginny.

Dating. That still seems completely unreal to her. What is that even going to look like?

Harry looks up, catching her staring, giving her a fleeting smile before darting a look at her parents, as if wondering if they’ll see.

Ginny sighs.

In no time at all, they’re pulling up to the Burrow, unloading their things and saying goodbye to the aurors. Ginny runs her things up to her room, the space feeling familiar and yet too small somehow, the way it always does when she first comes back.

She takes the time to unpack everything, telling herself she’s just being responsible and not that she’s trying to buy herself time.

Two things have become abundantly clear this afternoon. One, Harry is clearly less than comfortable with the situation. And two, Ron is planning to get as much mileage out of last night as possible. Ginny suspects her warning shot back on the train platform will only go so far. Ron may very well decide short term payoff is worth his long-term misery, stupid sod. Which will only make Harry more miserable.

Only made clearer when it’s time to sit down at the dinner table, Ron and Harry having some sort of an unspoken staring contest. Like Harry might try to sit next to her or something. Like Ron is both egging him on and warning him against it. Merlin.

Ginny solves the problem by sitting down next to her father, leaving Harry and Ron to sit across from her like usual. She tries to glare at Ron, but he is deliberately not looking at her. 

Harry is the one who is constantly looking around at everyone like any one of them might attack him at any moment. Like he’s really beginning to regret the entire thing.

In that moment, Ginny can see two long weeks of awkwardness ahead of them. That will only get worse as more and more of her brothers arrive. They probably should have spent a little less time on the train kissing and a little more time discussing how they were going to approach this.

Molly finally sits down with the rest of them, sighing a bit as she gets off her feet. “So how was the Christmas party?” she asks Ginny. “Were the robes alright?”

It’s hard to believe that was only last night. “They were great, Mum. You outdid yourself.”

Molly tries to demur but look really pleased.

“Harry went to the party too, you know,” Ron helpfully supplies, clearly hoping to make them both squirm as much as possible, the git. One would think he wanted his parents to know about Lavender. Like any of them have the tiniest hope of no news making its way out of Hogwarts to one of the many, many Weasleys.

“Oh,” Molly says, looking at Harry with a fond smile. “Did you enjoy yourself, dear?”

Harry looks like he’s about to swallow his tongue. “Um, yeah,” he says. “It was, uh, nice.”

Ginny can’t help but make a small sound of amusement at his word choice, and he looks up at her in alarm.

“It was fun,” he amends, like he’s scared he’s offended her, or made her think he hadn’t had a good time. “Really, really fun.”

Ron opens his mouth, no doubt ready to add to Harry’s discomfort, maybe mention how late Harry had come back to the dorms, and Ginny’s had just about enough of this.

“We went together,” she says, speaking over Ron. Cutting him off at the pass is definitely the quickest way to deal with this. She will not let him make them all miserable for sodding weeks.

Harry gives her a surprised look, like he wasn’t expecting her to just blurt it out like that.

“You and Harry?” Molly asks, immediately picking up on the blood in the water.

Ginny doesn’t reply, just holds Harry’s gaze, hoping he realizes that this is really the easiest way. Or maybe just giving him a chance to back out. Because part of her is wondering if he’ll deny it, play it off as something they did as friends, if he’d hoped to keep it secret or something. Maybe despite everything, he isn’t really interested in anything more than—

“Yes,” Harry says, voice forceful enough to cut into her thoughts. “We went together.”

Ron’s eyes are wide, as if he can’t believe they just admitted it like that.

Arthur looks up from his dinner as if he hadn’t really been paying attention until now, clearly trying to catch up.

It’s Molly who looks between them, as if trying to ferret out each and every clue. “How lovely,” she eventually says. 

“It was,” Ginny says, still looking at Harry.

He smiles, his shoulders relaxing, like maybe he’d expected to get chucked out of the house or something. “Yeah.”

Ginny smiles back.

“So, Ron,” Molly says, looking across the table at her son. “About this gambling…”

Ron lets out a groan of complaint. “Mum!”

[publiccollectors]

QUARANZINE #14

QUARANZINE #14: Rachel Herman. Rachel was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. She's been fighting the virus for just over two weeks. Yesterday she posted this long message on Facebook about her experience so far and I asked her about publishing it in QUARANZINE. She had been thinking about reaching out to me, so we were both on the same page. The text is very long for the format I adhere to so the type is quite small, unfortunately. Here it is in its entirety: Dear friends,

This is the week many of us will get sick. Social distancing is working, but most cities waited too long to declare shelter-in-place orders and many others have yet to. So, we will see spikes in confirmed cases within the next week or so. I want you all to be armed with pragmatic and useful information if this happens to you or someone you care about.

I am on Day 14 of what was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. (I am still waiting for my COVID-19 results.) I’ve had a relatively mild case, and I’m on the mend. My congestion is clearing up, I can breathe deeply again, and going up and down the stairs doesn’t make me winded. My energy and appetite are coming back though I still have had a fever of 100+ for 14 straight days. Most of us will get a mild case. 40-70% of us will get it, but so much of the media frenzy right now is focused on things that were important last week and yesterday (every day feels a year these days, though, to be fair). I have seen shockingly few articles or helpful testimonials advising how best to treat ourselves at home, and, trust me, I’ve been looking. So much of the information we’re focused on now is preventing transmission, but there is woefully little on what to do IF and WHEN we get sick.

Being waylaid during the time that so many folks have been still frantically trying to avoid getting sick has offered me a strange bubble of calm and insight. I’m grateful for that because the fear out there is palpable. I would like for this to be an offering to assuage at least some panic. That is my hope anyway.

The CDC and the WHO have labored and lengthy instructions on how to prevent transmission to someone else in the household or orders to quarantine. This creates a new problem for us as caregivers. A potentially critically ill person separated from everyone else drastically reduces a caregiver’s ability to monitor, replenish fluids, and generally take care of the person who is sick. On top of that, these two trusted sources offer only the most basic (honestly, negligible) recommendations for treating symptoms: sleep, keep hydrated, and take Tylenol (or the generic acetaminophen). This kind of bare bones advice is, well, skeletal. We all want to know how best to take care of ourselves and each other so that we can avoid having to go to the hospital. We want to be able to recuperate at home because we want to prevent putting a strain on the system and, face it, the idea of going to the hospital in this scenario is downright daunting. The better we know how to nurse ourselves back to health, the better our odds are healing well in our own beds.

So, I wanted to share what I’ve learned.

Caveat emptors/disclaimers because I’m making this public and shareable: This is based on my own personal, lived experience. I am not a doctor, so this does not replace or supplant solid medical advice from a professional you trust. I have had relatively mild symptoms but still a longish case. I am one of the freakish 5% who has had never-ending nasal congestion that went into my upper respiratory tract, but I somehow avoided the dreaded cough. YMMV (your mileage may vary). I have no underlying health concerns, I’m 52, a non-smoker, and fortunate. I have a comfortable apartment to myself, and I was able to spend $500 to stock up on essentials before the lockdown and before I got sick. (For the love of all that is holy, I swear I did not stockpile anything, especially TP. Stocking up is simply incredibly expensive. I dwindled my account down to almost my last dollar, since I’m adjunct faculty at two local universities and don’t make a whole lot.) Still, that is more than so many of us are able to do, and I am grateful for all that I have. What follows goes a bit beyond common sense, because this virus is unlike anything I’ve experienced before, even though to be clear, this is certainly a far cry from the sickest I’ve ever been. I hope it can be a boon to friends and strangers alike.

Here are the things I did that helped:

WHILE YOU ARE WELL

1) Start taking your temperature in the morning and at night so that you have a baseline.

One of the first signs of the virus can be a low-grade fever, though this virus does present in different ways. Full disclosure: I was one of those people who had to go to 3 different drugstores on Wed Mar 11 looking for a thermometer amid decimated shelves.

2) Before you get sick, change your diet.

Stop eating and drinking things that will make it harder to fight off the virus. Mellow out on the processed foods, dairy, and sugar (alcohol and gluten are in this category too, sorry).

Increase your intake of immune-boosting foods like green vegetables, fish and other omega-threes, garlic, ginger, and citrus. You don’t have to give in to the whole elderberry craze (though it does taste pretty good). Replace coffee with chaga, a fungal immune booster that you can brew into a strong, soothing tea, for a few weeks.

If you think these dietary recommendations are extreme, consider that you are in a temporary but dire situation where everything else around us is collapsing. Change your eating habits this month, even if it’s just a little for a little while.

3) SLEEP at least 8 hours a night. (I know, I wake up at 4am in a blind panic too. But, still, try.)

4) Make a pot of soup NOW while you are healthy or at the first sign of any symptoms.

This is especially important if you are sheltering in place alone. When/if you get sick, trust me, you won’t have energy to cook. You will barely want to eat anything anyway. But you will force yourself to have two bowls of it every day, and it will help. The pot should be big enough so that you can eat from it for a week. Make your favorite broth-based recipe: chicken, vegetable, or bone. Bone is most healing, obviously. Avoid dairy and noodles because these ingredients increase congestion and inflammation. Freeze it if you don’t have any symptoms at this point, so you will be able to thaw it when you start to feel oogy.

WHEN YOU GET SICK

1) At the first sign of fatigue, a tickle in your throat, aches, or a fever, go to bed and stay there. SLEEP. Don’t try to keep working. Your body needs to heal, and it can do that most effectively when you are sleeping.

Early symptoms reportedly vary. Some have aches and fever, scratchy throat, and chest tightness with a dry cough. Headaches, sneezing + nasal congestion, shortness of breath, nausea, and diarrhea have all been reported. I woke up on Mar 14 with a headache, body aches, congestion, and a fever of 101. My fever spiked to 102.5 on Day 2, and I’ve had a fever of 100+ every day since along with body aches, nasal congestion (my nose opened up like an actual running faucet on day 5), chest tightness and upper respiratory congestion, exhaustion, lack of appetite, and some lower GI distress (though not full-on diarrhea, everything just felt labored and different and, sincere apologies for the vivid image I’m about to put in your head, my poop seemed to be covered in a gauzy cloud). The two aberrations from most commonly reported symptoms: I have only had a negligible cough, and I never had a sore throat. My baseline temp leading up to getting sick was 99, but I am usually a straight-up 98.6 kind of person.

I had a dinner party the Monday before I got sick, and a friend who helped me in the kitchen came down with the same thing at the same time. My friend has asthma and has had a much harder time of things. But we are both on the road to recovery, in large part because we have been sharing what we’ve learned, checking in with each other, and doing some intense jobs taking care of ourselves while in isolation. (No one else from the dinner party has gotten sick to date.)

2) DRINK WATER, every 15 minutes when you are awake. Every time you wake up or roll over, drink. It should be room temperature, not cold. Cold liquids exacerbate the illness.

3) Drink WARM liquids like herbal tea and broth. Hot liquids keep everything in your system moving. Make soothing, healing, and warming remedies out of whatever inexpensive supplies you already have available.

4) In the giant void of an antiviral treatment that works on COVID-19, I have turned/returned to plant medicine, and it has helped me a lot.

My cousin, who is taking a Chinese medicine course in Singapore right now, sent me directions on how to make a ginger and licorice root decoction that was used throughout China during the Hubei lockdown. It’s easy to make. You bake the licorice in molasses, and then you boil the licorice root and the ginger for an hour. The ginger licorice decoction has really helped my friend who also got sick at the same time I did.

Making tea from Chaga – an Alaskan mushroom – has been so incredibly helpful. I’ve made a large pot of it every day, reserving the chaga and re-steeping over and over again for the past two weeks. Was it the chaga or the fact that I was drinking a gallon of warm soothing liquid daily, ladling out a mugful every couple of hours, that helped me get better? I’ll go with a little of both.

Other natural antiviral immune boosters that might help include vitamin C, C60, and olive leaf extract, oregano oil, and Manuka honey. Since stores are closed and Amazon has stopped shipping, we have to make do with what we already have. Make a tea with citrus peels and cloves and sliced ginger, if that’s is in your fridge.

5) The word on the street is to manage fever with Tylenol or acetaminophen or paracetamol, which are supposed to be more suited to treating respiratory illness than other alternatives. Frankly, I have been taking acetaminophen as sparingly as possible to avoid putting strain on my other organs. Cool compresses work too.

Some people are saying NOT to take Advil and its generic ibuprofen, as they have anecdotally said to propel otherwise healthy people to hospitals for oxygen. There is a lot of noise and confusion in this debate, and I’m going to sidestep this thorny conversation for our purposes.

6) Zinc lozenges and elderberry syrup help with a scratchy throat and cough. A friend of mine prone to bronchitis recommended Myrtol, a German cough syrup made from natural ingredients, including elderberry. If you have a pharma protocol in place for managing a persistent, chronic cough, you are probably already on it.

7) The fatigue is real. It also becomes really hard to think clearly. That’s why it’s so important to have soup and tea and other supportive supplies ready ahead of time.8) When you think you are getting better the first three or four times, STAY IN BED.

The arc of this virus is really rollercoaster-y: up and down and up and down. After the initial alarm passes, (and it is alarming at first because you don’t know which way it’s going to go and that seizing up can make everything feel worse), I was able to focus on getting better, calmly. I made it through the first scary fever spikes, but right when I thought I was feeling better, I would get knocked down again. There were critical junctures around days 3, 5, and 7 where I was certain I’d turned a corner, and, well, yesterday.

I’d get up and do dishes, take out the trash, take my dog for a walk around the neighborhood (face covered), and try to get some work done (end of quarter grades were due at both my schools and my departments have been preparing like mad to take our classes online in the spring). Then I would feel hot and light-headed again, taking my temp only to see it had sprung back up to 101.5. You will feel better and want to get back up and do things only to get knocked right back down. The moment I ease up on drinking water and tea constantly, I start to feel horrible again.

Remember: YOU ARE ESSENTIALLY PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM DEVELOPING FULL-BLOWN VIRAL PNEUMONIA. I would say the new mantra needs to be SLEEP + DRINK WATER. Start now, to the extent that you can. Please resist the urge to get up and do things. Rest. Do your Zoom meetings from bed with a virtual office background, if you absolutely have to be on a call. But, truly, you shouldn’t because this is the time to sleep sleep sleep and binge watch The Good Place (my choice for existential dystopian laughs/insert whatever makes your socks go up and down). For the past few days, my temp has been normal in the morning only to spring back up to 100+ if I try to do too much (e.g. read: ANYTHING). When I let myself sleep, my temp goes back down.

9) A humidifier has helped. Some recommend running a hot shower and sitting in your own makeshift bathroom sauna. Steam eucalyptus or rosemary, if you have any, and inhale deeply. I just made a homemade vaporub with a base of coconut oil and a few drops each of clove, thyme, rosemary, and peppermint oil. It is wonderful.

10) My breathing never got dangerously shallow. But this virus can potentially fill your upper and lower respiratory tracts with mucous until you feel like you are drowning. A physical therapist wrote with life-saving advice about the importance of Postural Draining, a method of draining mucous from the lungs using gravity and percussion. It involves physically moving your body so that you tilt your lungs and bronchial tubes upside down and then firmly clap the back or chest. This allows the mucous to flow up out of the lungs along with deep, prolonged exhales. Then you can cough it the rest of the way out. You can do postural draining alone or have someone perform it on you. Google postural draining diagrams – there are different for positions for each of the five lobes of your lungs. Do these exercises for 3-5 minutes a day before you get too sick. You can get into position in a chair or laying over a yoga ball, bean bag, or pillows for support.

Failing steps 1-10, if you have difficulty breathing or your temperature spikes beyond what you and your doctor are comfortable with (I’ve heard different numbers), please go to the ER immediately. Some of you will develop dramatic and dangerous symptoms quickly. Please do not wait to seek care if your lungs are struggling beyond what you can manage at home. My advice is geared to keeping as many of us comfortable for as long as it takes to heal, but that obviously is only going to go so far for those who suffer from chronic conditions, are older, or are immunosuppressed. If you have a finger oximeter, and are able to monitor your oxygen levels numerically, then you will know when you have to go to the hospital. But very few of us have those, and they are way sold out.

THE OTHER SIDE

Healing from even a mild case (and mine IS mild) takes about two weeks to a month.

As my dad would day, take it easy. It is unclear how immunity works with COVID-19. Some have said that there was a patient in Japan who tested positive a second time. There is speculation that this, in fact, was a relapse and not re-infection. We need more time to learn about the virus. In the meantime, please give yourselves time to heal.

We don’t know how long immunity lasts, and we don’t know about immunity to slightly different mutated strains even if we have recovered from one of them. I do hope that we get to develop a fair amount of herd immunity in the next year, but, again, there is a lot to learn. We will obviously still need to protect our vulnerable populations, and our society will continue to bend and contort itself around the virus.

But I hope to be in a position to assist when others get sick. I will happily help you to the best of my abilities. Looking to a future I can hardly conceive at the moment, I anticipate learning more about plant medicine. Scientists will develop new antivirals, retrovirals, and vaccines. I look forward to donating plasma as part of a treatment for those who get sick in the future, whenever that near-distant moment may be.

And thank you, friends. I am good. I have everything I need. My inner circle is incredible (I love you, mom!). I have been quarantined since developing symptoms and went out for a half hour only to get tested (thank you, Howard Brown for your invaluable service). No one else I spent time with beforehand has gotten sick (except my one friend whose illness coincided with mine, and they are also struggling a bit today with the ups and downs. Please hold them in your thoughts).

May you and your loved ones stay healthy. Or, more to the point, may we all get well and stay well. Sending love to all corners.– Rachel Herman

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2020 Anime Quick Takes: Somali and the Forest Spirit, My Hero Academia Season 4

Somali and the Forest Spirit

Somali and the Forest Spirit is set in a world where humans have mostly been wiped out by monsters after a bloody war. But one day, a golem (artificial magical being) who acts as a guardian of the forest stumbles upon a human child, who calls him ‘dad’. Despite claiming to have no paternal feelings for her, the golem decides to take care of the girl, Somali, while he journeys to find surviving humans to reunite her with.

This show is all about the struggles of a magical-robot single dad. I say magical robot because his narrative of claiming “I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR HUMAN EM-OTIONS NOR DO I FEEL THEM, ROBOTS GOLEMS HAVE NO ‘HEARTS’ OR SOULS’” when he clearly totally does is a familiar one. But I’m always down for a good robot dad, and his growing relationship with Somali is very sweet. While Somali herself could stand to be developed a little more and seems sometimes a little too well-adjusted for the very tumultuous life she leads, she’s at least not a pure moe-blob and has real conflicts and struggles trying to understand the world of adults.

The shows kind of alternates between soothing family feels and some dark looks at human-monster tension. The story doesn’t shy away from the whole “humanity and monsters had a violent war” thing. One segment especially has some very visceral, somewhat gory body horror and death, followed by intense emotional tragedy and exploration of a fairly screwed up relationship. It didn’t feel LURID, but it was definitely A Lot. 

Even Somali and the Golem’s wholesome bond has a tragic shadow over it. Both the ‘dark’ and ‘soothing’ elements of the show have their downsides- the show does feel overly slow at some points when its in soothing mode, and the whole “monster and humans caught in the cycle of prejudice” thing- I won’’t unpack it, but your mileage may vary on how its handled. The ending of the show is fairly predictable for this type of story too.

While the narrative is “fine but nothing spectacular” in my view, the main appeal of the show is definitely its lovely, atmospheric background art and character/monster designs. Like, look how pretty this harpy girl is:

I basically love the designs and all the different creatures and bits and pieces- Somali’s cute little faux-minotaur cloak, the entire squad of witches, Golem’s glowy eye, the lovable monster duo that’s with Somali and Golem for much of the show- there’s just a gorgeous variety of monsters to look at and a lot of them are loveable too! Cool fantasy concepts abound!, Overall, this is a solid wistful fairy-tale about found family with some great aesthetics.

My Hero Academia Season 4 (Episodes 14-25)

Superhero School continues!

After not getting much time with the kids of class 1A in season 4′s first arc, we finally get to see them be their danciest selves in an anime classic: the school festival arc. I was glad for a non battle oriented arc since that means the female characters actually get a few minutes of screentime, and I enjoyed seeing all the kids be dorks. (And also: I would also watch a million episodes that were Todoroki and Bakugou having to babysit bratty children).

However, there was not as much screentime and development for Jiro as the (very adorable and catchy) opening led me to hope there would be and I keep wishing we'd get more in depth stories for all these fun side characters in general? But it just ain't happening on this show.

The end of the season kickstarts the predictable thing the manga decided to do with Endeavor, and while I hear from manga readers it’s at least hopefully going to be handled with a little more nuance than a lot of animanga does when it goes into that territory, it’s an arc I’ve seen so many times and I’d rather Not. At least I get to learn more about Todoroki’s family? 

I found this to be the weakest MHA season since the first one as an overall package- but I still find watching MHA far more entertaining than frustrating and there's still a lot of nice moments, so I’ll be there next time. 

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: You Should See Me in a Crown

I’m not a massive fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes tales. I’ve read them all and appreciate the legacy and what they’ve inspired in other works, but they’ve never been my favorite tales. I actually enjoy the various interpretations and re-imaginings much more than the core mythos. I like RDJ’s take in film and the more modern spin with Elementary but, by far, my favorite rendition of Sherlock was the BBC version that made Benadryl Cumquatt a star. That show is inspired, at least the first two seasons, and it blessed me with one of the greatest television villains i have ever had the pleasure of witnessing; Andrew Scott’s Moriarty. My goodness, is he the greatest adaption of that villain! He even looks the part. I say all of this because Enola Holmes dropped today on Netflix. It’s a completely different take on the Holmes mythos centering on Sherlock’s younger sister, Enola and starring Millie Bobby Brown of Stranger Things fame. This is her vehicle, i think she’s producing it, so I'm curious how well it’ll fare. These Stranger kids are all growing up and trying to transition into adult stardom. Finn Wolfhard is doing fine and Millie seems to be taking things into her own hands. Let’s see in those hands are steady enough to push her into the next phase of her career.

The Good

I’m not one for that old timey Victorian aesthetic but i can appreciate the effort it must take to give it life in the modern age. The costumes and sets in this thing are exquisite. This is gorgeous and meticulously crafted film.

This film’s direction is pretty okay. The narrative, itself, leaves a lot to be desired but what is presented, has been deftly constructed. Credit to Harry Bradbeer for that. Dude has directed a few episodes of both Fleabag and Killing Eve so he’s got the chops. I just wish the fare this time was a little more substantial so he could really sink his chops into it.

This cast is loaded. There are several names in supporting roles worth note. Adeel Akhtar, Fiona Shaw, Frances de la Tour, and Susie Wokama all make memorable appearances. Louis Partridge is a little flaccid in the love interest role but he does enough to distract.

Millie Bobby Brown makes this movie. Her Enola Holmes is brilliant, witty, and full of that ardent, rebellious, energy all teenage girls are filled with. Though er story is one of mystery and intrigue, it is, first and foremost, kind of a coming-of-age tale. Brown does a decent job carrying this film and never falters in the same space as older, seasoned, actors like Helena Bonham Carter and Fiona Shaw.

Henry Cavill is basically playing Superman. His Sherlock Holmes is easily the weakest I've ever seen. Dude simply doesn’t have the chops to pull this off. I might be judging him too harshly considering the caliber of actor to have filled this role and made it their own in recent times. These are big shoes to fill but they fit ill on Cavill. This ain’t his story so we don’t really get to see that brilliant deduction but i don’t know that he could have pulled it off even if we did.

Helena Bonham Carter as the Holmes matriarch, Eudoria, is a pleasure. She steals every scene she’s in, even if there aren’t many. The Mrs. Holmes is mostly absent but the specter of her charisma permeates every facet of this film and it’s very welcomed. I just wish there was more of her.

Sam Caflin’s Mycroft Holmes is a very interesting take on the character. Dude is effectively the villain of this narrative. He’s out to force Enola into doing everything she doesn’t want. Dude is the overbearing pops or whatever. It’s awkward seeing Mycroft this way but he is ably portrayed by Caflin so i don’t have too big an issue with him.

The Bad

This thing exudes female energy. It is every bit Enola’s story. Now, I'm not too mad at that. Millie is decent in the role and it is unmistakably her film but that is, in this current climate, very abrasive to some. There is a strong feminist slant in how this narrative is presented and that might turn a lot of people off, depending on if they feel that is “controversial” or not.

There is just SO much exposition in this thing. It’s the nature of the genre, cats have to talk there way through problems or whatever but I've seen this part of these types of stories done much better. Sherlock, for example, found a way to visualize this and did it very well in the first two seasons. This film does not do that. It’s not super terrible but it did take me out of the story a little bit.

The music in this is very distracting. There aren’t many scene where the narrative just let’s you breathes. There’s always a whimsical swell or a punctuation flare to emphasize a shot. This feels like a callow tactic to give more levity and agency to the film where there really isn’t any to be had.

The writing in this is kind of weak. I thought, with how everything was progressing, that it might have been written by several people bu it wasn’t. One person crafted this tale; Jack Thorne. I’m really familiar with the bulk of his work but, if it’ anything like this, i imagine his is an underwhelming catalog.

This thing doesn’t feel like a movie. It feels like a series or that it should have been a series. I don’t see how this thing could have succeeded in the theater and it should count it’s blessings it found a home on Netflix because this definitely would have flopped. This thing feels like a proper Netflix movie, not a Hollywood outing.

As if to dive my previous point home, this is definitely sequel fodder. This film was made with several to follow in mind. Enola Holmes is a whole ass book series so there is definitely material to be had there. There’s six book so content isn’t lacking but i kind of feel like that ending should have felt a little more finite. This cash grab attempt at film universes and sequel bait is the most disingenuous sh*t ever outside of microtransactions in games and i kind of hate it. It’s wild to see everyone release sub-par entries on the hope they can patch the sh*t with sequels but everyone forgets that Iron Man was exceptional. It’s easily the third best MCU film and was the first to release. That first film has to be solid enough to bare the weight of a entire franchise and Enola Holmes ain’t doing that level of heavy lifting.

This film wears it’s Young Adult categorization like a badge of honor. You can tell this film is just a step and a half up from the likes of Riverdale or Nancy Drew. As a grown as man, this was not for me and i understand that very well. That said, it falls into that same, tropey, nothingness that the worst of the YA genre is known for, which is all the more reason this should have been a serial not a film. It’s not aggressive in it’s cliche but, if you’ve seen as many films as i have, you pick up on it immediately. For me, that’s the biggest issue with the film but for others. it might not even be worth mentioning.

The Verdict

Enola Holmes is a very cute, but flawed, viewing experience. It’s an interesting take on the Sherlock formula, injected with all of the GRRRL power you’d expect from a film starring a teenage woman in the lead. It’s not pretentious or forceful about it’s messaging but you definitely understand that there is a message it wants to convey. Millie Bobby Brown is excellent as Enola, easily the second best thing about this movie after the scenery chewing Bonham Carter, and there are some strong supporting performances. Cavill is a miss as Sherlock and Mycroft might as well be a mustache twirling villain but, in service to this particular narrative, the change in character makes sense. The film, itself, is ably directed and it’s a legitimately gorgeous watch but there are severe shortcomings. The writing is pedestrian, the plot is cliche, and to cover up these weaknesses, the music is leaned on too heavily. The foremost mystery isn’t one of true merit, i figured it out about halfway through, and it eschews the real conundrum for later time. The whole premise of this movie delivers a relatively intriguing situation but that is left for a later film to resolve and i kind of hate it. Sh*t was mad bogus. None of these issues are very pressing but they are noticeable and, at times, a little grating. Still, i was never bored and it is a rather well put together film, overall, even if it does feel like it should have been a proper miniseries. Enola Holmes is worth a watch but, understand, mileage may vary. I thought there was potential going forward but this thing should have definitely been a series and not a film.

[venus-says]

Futari wa Pretty Cure Max Heart Episodes 25-47

Light and Darkness are more alike than you think.

I know, I broke the promise I made last time, but as you can guess things didn't work the way I wanted so I couldn't put this out earlier. But that doesn't really matter that much because I'm here, and this finale was amazing, and I'm more in love with this series than I ever was and this is what matters!

After this first paragraph is not a surprise if I say that I enjoyed this second half of Max Heart. Writing this post will be a little hard for me without being way too repetitive from what I wrote for the first half because this is a pretty solid season and most of my feeling from the first half got carried away through here. The show kept on an amazing level of quality all the way through and the way they slowly started to escalate things to culminate in such a high point at the finale didn't leave that much room for a very low or very high point that needed to be discussed on a certain way that I already haven't touched on the first post.

I have barely anything negative to say about this part, but I did have a few nitpicks here and there that don't necessarily ruin my experience or anything but that were things that got me thinking about in the afterward that I feel like I need to discuss about briefly just so these thoughts can leave my head.

My first problem and the only one that is exclusive to this part is, surprise surprise, Lulun. I feel like Polun gets a bad reputation for having a somewhat rough start in season 1, but trust me, Polun is amazing, it's Lulun who -is the problem. And Lulun is a problem for two major reasons, the first one is that she's kinda useless, like, yes the show gives her a purpose but it's not something that could've been done for Polun, for example. I feel like if Lulun was written out with Polun inheriting her powers very few little of the show would change, Polun would lose those episodes where he learns about siblings love but then those wouldn't be necessary since he wouldn't have a sister and they could use that time to work with something else for him. And the other reason why she ends up becoming a problem is the fact that, different from her brother, she didn't get any development, she ended the show more or less the same as how she was introduced so there's very little to remember about it that isn't her crying and clinginess.

My next two points are kinda intertwined and they aren't specifically related to this portion of the story but for the season as a whole. I got a problem with the Heartiel and with how they just appeared whenever the show thought it was the time. The point I made in the first post about liking them remains, but it was really awkward how this was supposed to be a quest but had no quest element to it throughout the whole season but then the final Heartiel appeared because they "filled a condition" like if it was a quest so... I think they could've written them in a better way.

And this ties in with my problem with the villains, they had a similar quest where they had to watch the Boy in the mansion and make him grow, but they didn't have anything to collect and even if they did it wasn't shown to us so it always felt like the villains attack for the most part were just random, arbitrary, and without a purpose. Of course, after a certain point this wasn't more the case, in fact, after Hikari and the Boy meets for the first time Viblis start to get very overprotective of the kid so she's always ready to go all out if it meant it could keep the Boy safe, but when it comes to Circulas and Uraganos it felt like just tossups that were there just to fill a quota. Yeah, they created a lot of cool and interesting fights, but they felt very lost in the middle of all of this.

My other problem, that is more like a disappointment rather than anything else is the fact that Nagisa's story with Fujipi didn't reach a proper conclusion I feel. Like yes, they had a lot of times where they bonded on the season, and it was great as a side development for Nagisa, but I feel like this story was finished without an end. If they had made this point of the story happen a little sooner and we had the opportunity to see Nagisa actually showing signs that she's more chill about this situation it would've been a more concrete way to feel like this chapter of the book has ended rather than how it happened and it made me feel like the show ended without giving this plotline a proper conclusion.

My final nitpick is that because this is a show that happened at the same pace almost matching with the same time frame of the original show a lot of plots felt reused. Like in this second half only we had the training camp, we had an episode where they helped on a farm, we had Nagisa's birthday, Fujipi's birthday, Christmas, the school trip, the school play, another story of the girls potentially getting apart, and a few lacrosse games that were part of the tournament season I believe. I know that some of these are inevitable to change, and each one of the episodes was different from its "counterpart" from season one so it's not like a blatant copy and paste, but at certain times it gave me that taste of reheated food, which it's not bad on itself but you can still feel the difference from something fresh.

With that being said, I still enjoyed the hell out of this season. As I said, these were nitpickings I had after I already had finished the show and I sit down to think about it and think about what I'd write for this post, not something that took my entertainment or anything like that.

One thing I think this part has done very well was mixing the understand people's feelings theme they had during the first half with the theme of hope that was present through Season 1 in a way that didn't feel weird and inconceivable and without making it feel like it was forced. I'm not gonna lie, I wish that they had stuck only with the understanding theme, but that's just because I was oversaturated by all the talk about hope in Kamen Rider Wizard and I was in need of something different and not a fault of the show itself.

Something tells me I have talked about them in every post about Futari wa, but I couldn't wrap up this series without mentioning how great Akane and Sanae were in this show. I'm gonna sound repetitive but their presence as mentor figures is so strong, I'm so glad the show didn't just forget about them. Even though I feel like they didn't take all the mileage that they could with Sanae, she provided some gorgeous moments that made me feel warm inside. This season was Akane's moment to shine, having her as Hikari's "caretaker" opened up more opportunities for her to appear and all of her interactions that got the chance to go beyond the trivial stuff always yielded fun and touching moments that gave an extra flair to the season.

Putting plot aside for a little bit, it's impossible to talk about Max Heart without mentioning how great the action is. No joke, in almost all episodes of this second batch I've written on my notes "this was a great fight", I don't know what happened in between Season 1 and Max Heart that made the higherups allow for a bigger budget, but you can see that the money was spent on a very good way, especially after episode 40 or so. Watching the Max Heart fights makes you go "YAS, THIS IS WHAT PRECURE IS ALL ABOUT at least in regards to the fighting magical girl portion of the thing XD"

And I think what crowns such a wonderful and memorable season was the ending, those final 4 episodes were magnificent. They deliver on the plot, they deliver on the action, they deliver the hype, they deliver on the characters, it's just awesome. My vocabulary isn't vast enough to describe everything I felt while watching it, it was just like I was in a trance, watching it, absorbing it, being enchanted by it, and becoming an emotional mess. Like, I knew they wouldn't kill Hikari, this is precure deaths don't happen like that, but I was really apprehensive for her during episode 45, and having her "sacrifice" herself in order to revive the queen broke me, especially because I few minutes before Nagisa and Honoka were already punching me with the feels with those scenes of them looking back at moments where they felt desperate but their family was there to give them hope.

And it was also great to see a tradition being born when they started the fight against the Dark King that had possessed Baldez and the power of the people of the city brought the Sparkle Braceletes back and while the fighting was going on they had that very emotional speech that he wasn't fighting just the Precure, he was fighting EVERYONE. Like, I know at this point this is a staple, but seeing the first one happening, after everything that was build up during those 96 episodes, was just EPIC and very hype.

Rewatching Max Heart was magical and even though it irl it was a more bumpy of a road as I would've expected and wanted, I'm very glad I decided to embark on this crazy journey to rediscover this series and deconstruct a lot of silly and shallow thoughts I've carried for years about this show. This can change as a continue to go down on this franchise and I rewatch other seasons but Max Heart has definitely become one of my favorite precure seasons of all time. Pure gold.

The Splash Star post that was due to come out tomorrow will only be released on Friday because of logistic reasons, but before that, I'll release a post on the Max Heart movies that I thought of including here but 1, this post is already very long; and 2, I didn't feel like it belong with the other things I discussed in this post. In any case, thank you all so much for reading through all of this, it means a lot to me. I'll talk to y'all another time. Bye-bye~

[sonatanotwo]

Hi Anon! :D Aww gosh... thank you ever so much. ^^ <333 (Part of the credit for that portrayal very much also goes to @flyboytracy​ ^^ How we see it was very much something we came to together. I... really couldn’t RP it without her. ...Including literally even, given, you know... She’s my Scott. XD)

I hope you don’t mind me editing your question. It... wasn’t feeling quite right to get specific. There’s a LOT of different takes on the boys personalities and all that kinda thing. Very YMMV (your mileage may vary), so... yeah.

(...I’m gonna make this a read more cause whoops. THIS GOT LONG.)

Personally, I... don’t really feel there’s a whole lot of snark in the series in general and what could be kinda snarky is really pretty gentle? Though, I guess it depends what you feel is ‘snark’. The word snark is the combination of snide and remark. It’s making derogatory or mocking remarks with some amount of malice.

Virgil and snide is like... an oxymoron. Scott has gotten closer to that line when he gets angry... but Virgil? The time we’ve probably seen him the most angry (his poor topiary) it came from being upset/hurt and even then he just sulked off. (I always feel like Virgil is a brooder, until he let’s go being angry, which is probably pretty quickly.) He teases and certainly gets grumpy at Gordon, cause Gordon though knows how to exactly push his buttons. But there’s really never much real meanspiritedness from the boys.

Has he changed much between seasons... well... let me think. =Oa (...I’ve been mostly watching and reading Peppa Pig recently with my niece, instead of watching eps a couple times over. 😂 SO. Yeah. I gotta ...think on this. Uh.)

...man when has he even really said anything particularly edging towards snarky lately? I think the first season still sorta had the most kinda semi-snarky moments, especially as the writers were still feeling out the characters. They mostly just throw around quips around... so as in wit and sarcasm, but... yeah. IDK. I’d even call some of it sass more than snark.

I mean... I guess he has a bit? More in that I think the writers have more and more gotten a handle on who Virgil IS. The first hints of some of his personality from the first season have just had more solid examples since then, reinforcing them. And they’ve progressively gotten more comfortable with showing his sensitive side, that he even can have moments of anxiety/shyness (or whatever you wanna call his reaction to meeting his hero XD) and even showing him as being a little vulnerable.

Heck, they flipping showed him mothering Alan, man. I could not have been more happy. XD

Like. Shit. Virgil is, more than anything, GIANT SWEETHEART, okay? I will fight anyone who tries to suggest otherwise. I know canon and I’m not afraid to use it. :|b

Kinda relating to this kinda thing, there’s like... three things that I stick to when I write Virgil... and the boys in general. (And... y-yeah, can also cause me to nope outta reading other’s work.) Cause for me breaking these just feel SO out of tune with what the series presents:

1. I never write the boys calling each other stupid/idiot etc. I MIGHT have them describe doing an ACTION as being a stupid thing to do, but... yeah. Virgil especially doesn’t put his brothers down, especially the younger two. In like... Recharge he very specifically praises them for doing good, despite being exhausted. And that’s just one of MANY examples of him doing that kinda thing.

2. I avoid really any kinda... negative physical stuff. Scott thwaping Alan’s ankle/leg in Heist Society never really felt quite right... (but then that writer... uh well. There were issues.) And I mean there is some of Gordon and Alan’s antics... fighting for the chair and having a pillow fight... but that feels like sibling shenanigans and not really being MEAN to each other. But like... I’d rather write a noogie rather than a whack over the head, ya know?

3. I rarely, if ever, write them truly swearing. Like the harsh things. Damn, dammit, heck, crap... those are fine. Maaaybe sometimes shit. But yeah... not much else , unless it REALLY fits... it just boots me out of feeling like I’m in this world with these characters. So yeah.

ANYHOO. Hopefully somewhere in this rambling I gave you enough of my opinion. XDDD Else I can always ramble more! Goodness knows I love any excuse to talk about Virgil. XDb

Thank you so much for the ask, Anon! :D (It’s been really exciting to find messages in my inbox. ^^ So also thank you to all you anons! <3333)

[runfast-runfar]

Quarantine Day 66

5/22/20

✨ slept so badly last night, but it’s alright! Hopefully tonight is a better night for sleepin’!

✨ my running shoes came yesterday so the last two days of running felt so so good!! So badly needed new shoes! They’re the exact same shoes as I’ve had before but I love them and they get such good mileage! So not changing them up lol!

✨ Thea gives me such a stink eye every morning I leave for a run lol! Not happy about it lol

✨ it was HOT 🥵 already at 7am but it was such a solid tempo run! Yesterday was 7.5 miles, today I dialed it back and ran like 3 miles because I want to go on a bike ride for an hour or so later too!

✨ came home and did 40 minutes of solo guided yoga which felt amazing (as always!) and then had breakfast! Life will forever be my favorite junk food cereal!! (Always with oat milk!)

✨ now I’m just planning out my day/weekend in my planner while watching Friends! I bought seasons 7-10 off amazon prime (THE best seasons lol!) and so I’m happy :))

✨ I’m going to go on a bike ride at like 2, then I’m going to come back and do some reading for an hour in the backyard!

✨ I have a zoom meeting with a friend at 6 for a bit then I’m just going to kick back and continue binging Friends :)

✨ good (and relieving news!!) my brother and I both are now back at the job we were working at before covid19 hit. My first day back is Sunday (I have to go in today for a bit to re do paper work etc) but yeah.. I work Sunday from 10:30-4:30 and then I’ll be working Friday - Mondays for the next month until summer school starts, then I’ll work on weekends!

I need the money so bad (need a new computer soon bc mine has a huge crack and is on its last leg!) and then I need to save up for school stuff in the fall! So I’m super relieved to be back working after over 2 months off! I was still tutoring via zoom for my school job up until last week, but that income alone was rough and now I would have no income with the poké bowl job back! So, yay!

✨ Anyways, I hope you’re all doing well and staying safe! ❤️

[karijnbreannekm82insurance-blog]

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[vintageneptune92]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 Part 2

Okay so here is Part 2! Thanks for reading!! :)

Tag List:

@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Part 1  Masterlist

Nora felt stunned from the fall and her ears were buzzing from the loud explosion.

“Nora, babydoll, listen to me.” Tony grabbed Nora’s face. She looked like she was in shock. Her eyes met his. “Steve is going to take you someplace safe. I want you to stay there until one of us comes and gets you okay?” Nora shook her head.

“No, I’m fine. Things were intense in there and the explosion surprised me. You’re going to need my help with that engine. We don’t have time to argue. You need my tiny hands” Tony sighed.

“The two of you find engine 3. I’ll meet you there. Rogers you keep her safe.” Steve nodded and he and Nora headed towards the engines. Nora looked up at Steve trying to decide what to say to him.

"Steve?" He looked down at her frantic green eyes waiting for her to continue. "I just have to say this one thing and then we can move on from it. You don't know shit about my Uncle. You know the persona he allows the world to see. He is one of the best men I know and he is actually a hero. If I ever hear you speak to him like that again, super soldier or not, I'll be handing you your own teeth."

Steve smiled for a moment. "Understood Nora. Are you sure you're okay to do this? You really don't look okay."

"I'll be fine Steve. I can push through." He nodded and they continued on until they reached engine 3. Nora stared wide eyed at the damage. “Shit, this is worse than I thought it would be.” She was squeezing Steve’s hand trying to quell the fear she felt creeping up.

"Stark we're here" The words were barely out of Steve's mouth when Tony came flying in and started to examine the engine as his suit started scanning through the different levels of machinery.

"Nora- we have to get this super conducting cooling system back online before I can access the rotors. Why don't you work on dislodging the debris. Cap I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position. Nora watched with admiration as Steve jumped and swung himself over to the control panel. "Oh my God, not you too. Stop with the heart eyes." Nora glared at her uncle and got back to work on the engine. "Captain, what do you see?"

"It seems to run on some form of electricity." Steve's voice carried over the comms.

"Really? They should have named him Captain Obvious." Tony laughed as they kept working. They worked silently and cohesively until Steve’s voice interrupted their work.

“Okay, the relays are intact Tony. What’s our next move?”

“Even if I clear the rotors, this thing wont re-engage without a jump....I’m gonna have to get in there and push.”

“You can’t do that! It’s not safe!” Nora cried out.

“If that thing gets up speed, you’ll get shredded!” Steve added in agreement with Nora.

“Cap I need you to stay in the control unit and reverse polarity long enough to disengage- “ Tony couldn’t finish without Steve interrupting”

“Speak English” The frustration was clear in his voice.

“Steve, you should seen a red lever near you. It’ll slow the rotors down long enough for Tony to get out.” Nora instructed

“Stand by it, wait for my word.” Tony added once Nora finished. They felt the Helicarrier drop slightly. Fury’s voice came over their comms.

“Stark, we’re losing altitude.”

“Nick we noticed” Nora shot back. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Steve was knocked off the edge by a gunman almost dropping off the carrier, hanging on by a wire. “STEVE!” She screamed in terror all while the Helicarrier continued to drop and Tony was working furiously on the rotors. Then he was yelling for Steve to pull the lever as she watched in horror as Steve was still fighting off the gunman and unable to get to the lever. She couldn’t swing herself to where Steve was to help him. She wasn’t a super solider. Tony was screaming for Steve to pull the lever. Nora didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t help Tony and she couldn’t get to Steve to help him. She screamed in frustration as she felt them loosing more altitude. Tony was sucked into the blades and was spun wildly around. Nora stood helpless but then saw Steve pull the lever. Tony went flying out but got control back and flew back towards the ship and took out the gunman attacking Steve.

Once Nora felt confident that Tony and Steve were okay she headed back inside to see where she could help. She ran into the room where Loki was being held captive and let out another cry of agony when she saw Phil Coulson slumped on the floor with one of the giant guns in his lap. She rushed to his side.

“Phil?! Oh my god! What happened? Where are you hurt?!” Nora willed herself not to cry so she could help him.

“Loki got me. But don’t worry kid, I got him back.”

“I’ll kill him.” Nora saw where he was wounded and started putting pressure on it.

“Nora, look at me.” Her tearful green eyes met his and he put a hand on the side of her face. “Your father would be so proud of you. You’re kind and brilliant. You keep Tony grounded.”

“No! No no don’t do that. Don’t you dare” Nora was interrupted by Fury walking in. Phil looked over at him. Nora felt the tears fall down her cheeks. Phil had been a source of support after Tony got back from the Middle East and had come out as Iron Man. He was a friend.

“I’m sorry boss. They got rabbited.” Fury knelt down next to Nora.

“Just stay awake. Eyes on me.” Nick encouraged. She knew how close he and Coulson were.

“Oh I’m clockin’ out here.” Nora noticed how pale Phil was getting. She tried harder to stop the bleeding.

“Not an option Agent.”

“It’s okay, boss. This was never gonna work- if they didn’t have something- to” Nora felt his breathing stop and Nick pulling her up by her arm so the medical team to get in. All she could think was that this was another loss of another person she cared about. She barely heard Nick as he was speaking to Agent Hill over her ear piece.

“Agent Coulson is down.”

Nora was seething. Far too many people had died because of Loki. She wasn't about to sit on the sidelines and allow him to get a pass after he killed Phil Coulson. She finished loading up her holsters with weapons and headed down the hall. As she was walking she came upon Steve talking to Natasha.

"Go where?" Natasha gave Steve a questioning look.

"I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those Jets?" Nora cleared her throat.

"I can." Steve started to protest. "Don't Steve. You're not going to stop be from joining you guys on this. I'm not looking for your permission. I can get my own jet and just fly myself."

"Don't argue with her, we'll just waste time. I'll get Clint to suit up and we'll meet you there." Steve eyed Nora as they walked down to the jets. He didn't want to fight with her, but he was concerned.

"Nora look, I'm just worried. You still don't look great. I just don't want you to jump into a fight and get hurt because you aren't 100%." Nora stopped walking.

"Captain, I appreciate the concern. I really do. But I'm not a child. I know what I can handle, you don't. Believe me when I tell you I know how to fight and I know how to work a weapon. I'm fine." Steve held his hands up in surrender and they continued walking to the jet to wait for Natasha and Clint. A shield agent was about to stop them as they climbed onto the Jet.

"Son, just don't." Nora burst out laughing.

"Look, I know you're actually like 90 some odd years old. But really, you look half his age and you called him Son. We need to brush you up on your slang and lingo."

"Are you offering to help?"

"We get through this Steve, and maybe."

Nora was heading to the top floor of Stark Tower. She had seen Tony land on the roof to try and talk some sense into Selvig. She wasn't sure he was going to be able to get through to him. Loki was using that scepter to control him, the same way he had controlled Clint. Nora was about to enter the Penthouse, but stopped when she heard Loki's voice.

"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity" Loki's tone was teasing.

"Actually, I was going to threaten you." Tony's retort was sharp and sarcastic. Nora didn't like the idea of Loki being so close to her Uncle. She didn't want to take the chance of Tony being hurt. Clearly Loki didn't care who he took out on his quest for power.

"You should have left your armor on for that." Loki was cocky.

"Yeah, it's seen a bit of mileage. You've got the uh...blue stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?"

"Stalling me wont change anything."

"No, no no, threatening. No drink? You sure I'm having one." Nora normally enjoyed the games of verbal ping pong Tony played with people. She was too apprehensive this time to appreciate his wit.

"The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that, what do I have to fear?" Nora was hoping that he would underestimate them enough that it would lead to his demise.

"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves. Sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes' type of thing".

"Yes, I've met them." Nora couldn't understand how Loki and Thor were so different. Tony and her father had been different, but their core values were the same.

"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But, let's do a head count here. Your brother, the Demi-God; A super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; my beautiful and brilliant niece that is a complete bad ass. Don't let her tiny stature fool you, a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them." Nora couldn't help but smile at her Uncle's assessment. She watched as Tony approached Loki, her nerves kicking back up. "Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they’ll come for you." Loki scoffed.

"I have any army" Nora rolled her eyes.

"We have a hulk" Tony didn't miss a beat. Loki gave Tony a condescending smirk.

"Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off."

"Yeah- you’re missing the point. There’s no throne, there is no version of this, where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you. ’Cause if we can’t protect the earth, you can be damned well sure we’ll avenge it." Nora held her breath as Loki walked over to Tony, pointing his scepter.

"How will your friends have time for me, when they’re so busy fighting you?" Nora took a step towards where they were standing as Loki placed the tip of the scepter over Tony's heart. She heard the tip clink against the arc reactor. "This usually works." The scepter controlled the person through their heart? And since Tony's arc reactor protected his, Loki couldn't touch him. She watched Tony shrug.

"Well, performance issues. You know" Loki grabbed Tony by the throat and throws him across the room. Nora burst in, pointing her assault rifle at Loki. She heard Tony yell.

"JARVIS, anytime now." Loki let Tony go and moved towards Nora. She didn't flinch as he approached her. He stopped short of putting his hands on her.

"You will all fall before me" Nora stopped to think for a moment and wondered if someone else was controlling Loki the way he was Selvig and Barton. Her thoughts were broken as Tony yelled again.

"JARVIS! DEPLOY!" Nora screamed as Loki turned and charged at Tony, shoving him out of the window. She heard him yell for JARVIS to deploy again. Her heart was in her throat when she saw one of his suits shoot past her and go after Tony. The suit must have caught him because all of the sudden Tony was back up at the window staring Loki down. Nora let the breath she didn't realize she was holding go. "And there’s one other person you pissed off! His name is Phil." Tony fired a repulsor blast at Loki and knocked him down but not before he could shoot a stream of blue light towards the sky, opening a portal for the Chitauri army to come through.

"Oh my god..." Nora couldn't believe her eyes. She was paralyzed for the moment watching them all pile through. She watched as Tony flew at the incoming army, shooting at them. Nora stared down at Loki. "You are nothing like Thor. He is kind and good. You are everything that is wrong in this universe. You could use your power for good. To leave a mark on this world as a hero. Instead you choose to do this." She watched as he looked up at her, the look in his eyes darkening.

"Being a hero is overrated. Ruling over a lesser species is so much more satisfying. You humans think you're so special." He approached her and ran the back of his hand down the side of her face with mock affection. She jerked away. "Although you, you are so much more than just a mere human. You posses a power that you haven't tapped into yet."

"Don't you dare touch me, not ever again. And stop with your cryptic nonsense. You're trying to get into my head. Though I'm surprised you haven't tried to use your little magic wand."

"Oh darling, that's because it wont work on you."

"How do you know that? How could that be true?"

"I promise you, in time, you'll come to understand."

"Loki, step away from her." Thor's voice boomed throughout the Pent House. Nora was happy to see that he was okay. Deep down, she had known he was okay, she just didn't understand why she knew he was okay. That wasn't important now, she would address all of this when the fight was over.

"Hello brother. I didn't think you'd be joining us." Thor crossed the Pent House and approached Nora.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Thor looked over Nora with concern.

"I'm fine. And no, he didn't hurt me."

"Nora, get out of here. Go somewhere safe." Thor begged.

"Thor, I'm not leaving."

"Then go help Captain Rogers, please. This is between Loki and I." Nora hesitated for a moment. She nodded and ran out of the Pent House and headed to the chaos below.

Nora immediately felt overwhelmed when she approached the street. People were running and screaming. The Chitauri were everywhere. As she looked up, she could see Thor and Loki fighting each other. She felt Thor's pain. It was like pressure on her heart. This was his brother and he was hell bent on destroying their relationship. Nora couldn't imagine what that must be like, she never had siblings to have a connection like that. But the fraction of heart ache she felt was enough to convince her she was glad she was an only child. That kind of betrayal must be impossible to get past. She pulls herself from her thoughts for what seemed to be the 100th time that day and pulled a gun out of one of her holsters and starts shooting the Chitauri one by one, chasing after them down the street. She needed to take a breath and re-load her weapon. With her back flushed against a brick building, Nora took a moment to look around at all of the destruction. How were they going to stop this? And if they did stop it, how were they going to put this city back together. She steeled herself, shoving those thoughts into the back of her mind. She couldn't think about repairs right now, she had to focus on stopping Loki's army. She almost cried out in relief when she saw Steve, Natasha and Clint to her left battling the aliens. She jumped back into action, making her way over to the trio.

"Nora, thank God you're okay." Nat could have hugged her if she didn't have her hands so full. She was worried about Nora since she had seemed to vanish. She was tough, but this was beyond anything the young woman had faced before. Nora quickly brought her elbow back, bashing a Chitauri in the face. Before she could shoot it, she watched as Steve's shield shot by her and took it's head off. She didn't have a chance to even say thank you. All of the sudden she was on her back on the ground, a Chitauri on top of her trying to choke her. She shuddered in disgust when it collapsed dead on her after Clint's arrow had pierced it's skull. Steve put his hand out and pulled Nora to her feet.

"Thanks for the assist Captain. And before you ask me, I'm fine." He let out a small laugh.

"Am I that predictable?"

"Everyone seems to think I'm made of glass. But I'm good."

"Well then stop chatting and get to work." She pursed her lips at him and gave him a slight shove. He watched as she ran off to a small group of Chitauri, effectively taking them out with a round of bullets. It seemed like anytime she took one out, two more came in it's place. She felt like they had been fighting for days. The Semi-Automatic was the most efficient and she knew soon she'd be out of bullets eventually. Nora screamed in pain as she felt a blade go through her thigh and she dropped to the ground. She rolled out of the way and hid behind a taxi. The cut was deep. She felt nauseated when she saw the thick dark blood pooling from the wound. She saw a jacket on the ground a few feet from her. She reached over and grabbed it. She used a knife she had to cut it into a few strips and started tying them around the stab wound to stop the bleeding. She needed to rest for a few moments or she wasn't going to make it out of this fight. She took a moment to watch the others fight. It was like watching poetry. Natasha and Clint were in perfect harmony, fighting off alien after alien. Using each others strengths and compensating for the other's weaknesses. Nora winced when she heard Natasha scream out in pain as a Chitauri threw her into the cab Nora was leaning against.

"Nat are you alright?" Nora tried to examine her for any serious injuries.

"I think so, are you?"

"Yeah, I got a nasty cut, I had to sit back and get the bleeding to stop. Nat, there are too many of them. We're out numbered. The three of us can't keep doing this." Before Natasha could respond Steve is charging at Chitauri, knocking them out of the way. And then Thor was dropping from the sky taking out a large group of Chitauri with a bolt of lightening. Both Nora and Natasha took a breath of relief. For the second time that day, Nora put her hand in Steve's and he pulled her to her feet. He gave her hand a squeeze and then turned to Thor.

"What's going on up there?" Thor shook his head in dismay.

"The power surrounding the cube is impenetrable. I could not stop it."

"Thor is right, we gotta deal with these guys." Nora felt relief when she heard Tony's voice over their comms.

"How do we-" Nora was interrupted by Bruce arriving on a motorcycle. "Bruce!"

"So this all seems horrible." He commented as he surveyed what was going on. They all watched in horror as the Leviathan Tony was trying to take care of was heading their way. Steve turned to Bruce.

"Dr. Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry." Steve was surprised to hear himself suggesting that the Hulk come out and play.

"That’s my secret, Cap. I’m always angry." Before he could utter another word, Bruce Banner transformed into the Hulk, punching the Leviathan and smashed it into the ground."

"Seriously, why didn't he get here sooner?" Nora was incredulous. She watched as Tony swooped in, blasting the strange creature with a missile. The victory was short lived as the 7 of them watched as more Leviathans and alien warriors poured from the portal above. "Jesus- how many of these guys are there?!" Nora's frustration was building. Steve took control of the situation.

" Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we’re gonna use containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash. Thor! You gotta try and bottleneck that portal, slow ’em down. You got the lightning, light the bastards up. Nat, you, Nora and I are staying on the ground to keep fighting them off." 

Tony lifted Barton up to the roof and Thor swung his hammer and was gone. Natasha and Nora were preparing themselves to continue to fight. Steve turned to Banner. "And Hulk? SMASH!" Hulk grinned, jumped into the air and began to take out dozens of the Chitauri at a time. Nora watched on in amazement as Hulk jumped up and slapped a flying craft out of the air.  Nora was fighting the Chitauri off when she saw Natasha jump and push off of Steve’s sheild and jump onto one of the Chitauri flying vehicles.

“Rusty?! What the hell are you doing?” Nora screamed into the comm.

“We have to close the Portal. Don’t worry Nor. I got this”

“Please be careful.” Nora leaned back against the police car that was near her. The thigh she was stabbed in was throbbing.

“What happened to your leg?” Steve walked over to Nora in a rare lull in the fighting and action. He noticed she had been favoring it.

“One of the Chitauri stabbed me. Apparently their blades can cut through protective gear.” Steve knelt down in front of Nora to examine her leg. He looked at the makeshift bandages tied around her thigh. He could see dark blood caked around them. Her leg was filthy and clearly covered in alien like blood or slime or whatever it was. He had barely even put any pressure on her thigh near the wound and she jumped and winced in pain. She was going to be looking at a nasty infection

. “I think the adrenaline is masking the pain. It’s a deep cut. But you touching it? I felt like I was being stabbed again.”

“As soon as we’re done here I’m getting you to someone that can look at it and stitch you up. If you need to rest, then rest.” Nora nodded and stayed leaning against the vehicle. Steve knew she must be suffering because she didn’t insist that she was okay and could fight.

Nora watched as the others continued to fight the aliens. It was a magnificent scene. Steve and Tony has put their differences aside and were working together. Steve lifted his shield and Tony used it to reflect a blast from his repulsor effectively taking out another large group of Chitauri. She slid down against the car to sit on the ground. She was in a good position to take out some of the aliens without being seen or having to be on her feet. She felt a wave of relief when Natasha’s voice came into her ear piece to tell her she had made it safely to the top of the tower and that Selvig was himself again. Maybe they could win this after all. Steve was directing Natasha to close the portal and then Tony’s voice was heard telling them to wait. Nora pulled herself  up to join Steve where he was standing, visibly was limping.

“I got a nuke coming in and it’s gonna blow in less than a minute...and I know just where to put it.” Nora and Steve both had wide eyes as they watched him fly overhead.

“Stark- you know that’s a one way trip.”

“Uncle Tony, don’t please!” Nora could not lose him too. Her grandparents were dead, her father and mother. They had been betrayed by Obediah. He had been a grandfather to her.

“I’m sorry Babydoll but I have to. You know I love you more than anything.” Nora covered her mouth. He was going to sacrifice himself to save the city and everyone in it. Thor was suddenly next to Nora. The two of them and Steve looked up and watched as Tony flew by, redirecting the missile and barely missing Stark Tower, pushing it up towards the portal. Nora couldn’t breathe. All of the sudden the Chitauri started collapsing all around them. She willed her Uncle to come flying back through the portal.

“Natasha” Steve started.

“STEVE NO! Don’t you dare!” Nora screamed at him. The genuine look of sorrow in his eyes told her he was going to anyway. “Close it.” Nora tried to run at Steve but Thor caught him in his arms and held her back. Nora let out a cry that hurt Thor’s heart. He’d never heard a human make a noise like that.”

“NO! YOU SON OF A BITCH!” She raged at Steve. “Oh my god” Nora saw Tony’s limp form falling through the sky a few moments later.

“He’s not slowing down.” Thor was alarmed. The impact would kill Iron Man. Before any of them could move to help Tony, Hulk caught him out of the sky and slid down the side is the building and crashed to the ground in front of them. Hulk threw Tony off of him as Thor helped Nora to the ground and then pulled off Tony’s face plate. Steve joined them listening for a  heart beat. Nora felt silent tears fall as she noticed the Arc Reactor was dark. She nearly jumped out of her skin when Hulk roared. But Tony’s eyes shot open.

“What the hell? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.” Nora laughed and her tears were now ones of relief. She felt Thor slide his arm around her waste to help her keep herself upright.

“We won.” Steve was smiling when he said it. Tony let out a breath of relief.

“Alright, Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let’s just not come in tomorrow. Let’s just take a day. You ever tried shawarma? There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is, but I wanna try it.”

“We’re not finished yet.” Thor’s voice reverberated through Nora’s body. He helped pull her to her feet. She couldn’t put any weight on her injured leg now and she was about to throw up. Thor could feel her body burning up. He looked over at Steve with concerned eyes.

“And then shawarma after?”

 Nora slowly opened her eyes. The last thing she remembered was being rushed into a medical bay that Tony had put into Stark tower. Dr. Banner had transformed back and was there. Natasha and Steve were cutting her pant leg off. She remembered seeing the angry almost purple skin on her thigh. She was screaming in pain as Bruce tried to clean it. She either had passed out from the pain or he had knocked her out so he could work without her thrashing. At some point, she hoped Natasha, had changed her into an Iron Man t-shirt and a pair of short sweat shorts. Her right leg that had been stabbed was elevated and her thigh was wrapped in gauze. She had an IV in her hand that was attached to two tiny bags and a big bag of fluid.

“You’re awake.” Bruce was looking down at her with kind eyes. “I put you to sleep. You were in too much pain. We had to clear out some of the infected tissue in your leg. You couldn’t have tolerated that while awake. We did that and cleaned out any fluid in the wound. I stitched you up after. You’re going to have a nasty scar but we didn’t want the infection to travel and have you lose your leg or worse. The infection came quickly. It must have been something alien you were exposed to. The bags are a strong antibiotic, some strong pain killers and just some fluid so you don’t dehydrate. You can leave once the drips are done. You’ll have to keep taking the antibiotics for 10 days. I’ll give you some pain meds because you’re going to be hurting for a while.”

 Nora took in all of the information."We?"

"I have a friend that is a surgeon. She owed me a favor. I didn't want to take you to the hospital with all of the cameras and media. This was safer."

“Thank you Bruce. Is Tony okay?”

“He’s fine. He, Fury and Thor are dealing with Loki and the tesseract. I’ll let him know you’re awake.” As Bruce walked out, Steve Rogers walked in. Nora immediately tensed up.

“Please leave.” Nora demanded pointing to the door.

“Nora?” He didn’t understand.

“The Chitauri were down. You could have waited another minute or so to make sure he got back through. One minute wouldn’t have made a difference.“

“But it could have.” He protested.

“Or you just didn’t care if he made it through or not. He’s only in it for himself right? You made it clear how you felt about him.”

“I was wrong. And even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be okay with someone dying. He knew the risk when he flew up there. He was trying to save you, to save all of us.” His heart broke a little when he saw tears fall down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away.

“Just go. I want to be alone.” He nodded and backed out of the room. He knew she had been upset in the moment but thought she would understand once things had calmed down. He was shocked he had been so wrong. Nora was impatiently waiting for her IV bags to finish. She just wanted to get out of this room. Tony had been in to see her. She cried and he held her. She had been on an emotional roller coaster ride. She looked up from her magazine when she heard a knock at her door. Before she could answer Thor’s head poked in. 

“Tony said you wished to see me.” Nora nodded. He took a seat next to her bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Truthfully kind of drugged. These pain meds are no joke. But I feel drained.”

“It’s been quite the day.” Nora shifted. There was a strange awkwardness in the room”

“Thor- I feel the strangest connection to you. We’ve never met before but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I know it sounds crazy.”

“I agree. I feel it too. Though I do not understand it.”

“Loki said some things. He said that I wasn’t just a ‘mere human’ and mentioned powers that I haven’t yet tapped into. When he was in the cage thing. He called me something. It wasn’t English. I meant to try and look it up. But I got distracted. And then he told me his scepter wouldn’t affect me.”

“I am bringing him back to Asgard. I will try and get information out of him. I will let you know if I find anything out.” She nodded again and he squeezed her hand. “I’m sure I will see you again.” He stood and headed towards the door and turned back to her. “Nora, if I may, do not be so hard on Captain Rogers. He had an impossible decision. I know he said some harsh things to Tony, but we all said harsh things. I think it was because of the scepter.”

“I already planned on apologizing actually. I was wrong and it wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t deserve my anger. I just feel so angry right now.” Thor smiled at her.

“Nora Stark, you may be little, but you’re mighty.”

“Goodbye Thor.” She threw her head back against the bed. She needed out of the med bay and find Steve.

[sineala]

Sineala, hi! (Is there a shorten form to call you?) I always see people talk about Civil War - Avengers Prime - Hickmanvengers being big points in Tony&Steve's relationship, fanfiction-wise. But what about Avengers vol 4? How's their relationship there? Is there any material for shippers? I hope this ask makes sense

Hi! (People usually call me Sine, by the way.)

Avengers volume 4 is, in my opinion, awfully underrated in Steve/Tony fandom. I actually didn't read it when I was getting into the pairing, because I figured that reading it after New Avengers + Mighty Avengers + Secret Invasion + Dark Reign + Siege would be too much of Bendis' writing to take all at once. No one ever really talked much about it, so I figured I could wait because it probably wasn't that good if no one talked about it. But then several months ago I ended up needing to read it to write a remix and I was surprised by how much fun it was. It's not my absolute favorite run, but it's a good solid read and there are a few really nice Steve/Tony moments, in both angsty and fluffy varieties.

More under the Read More!

The thing you should know about Avengers v4 is that the beginning is coming in hot on the heels of Steve's return to life after Civil War, so this is really the first time Steve and Tony have interacted since then. Tony doesn't remember Civil War (Steve does, though) but that doesn't mean they don't still have a lot of... issues. If you're going to read v4 you need to start with Avengers Prime, which features Steve and Tony healing the worst of their Civil War wounds. Also naked Tony. Also hugging.

Steve and Tony's relationship at the beginning of Avengers v4 is characterized by them really just trying to figure out how to have a relationship again and what that relationship should look like. And, frankly, I think they have either forgotten how much intensity normal people have in their friendships or they just don't care what normal friendships are like because it's just 1000% feelings all over the place and most of the feelings are weird and awkward and they're going to have ALL OF THEM anyway. Loudly, messily, and in public.

Like, okay, take Avengers v4 #1. This should be your standard "yay, hooray, let's put a new team together" kind of issue. Except it isn't quite so easy, with Steve and Tony. Steve wants to put Tony on the team and Tony... pulls Steve aside and tries to refuse. "We don't agree on just about anything anymore," Tony says, and Steve tries to disagree with him. And then there's this glorious panel:

"When I look at you, all I see are all the mistakes."

I mean, wow. Tony. What the hell. What is anyone supposed to say to that?

You see what I mean about all the feelings, yes?

Tony ultimately ends up agreeing to be on the team -- but the thing is, at this point in time, Steve isn't on the team, and I honestly kind of think that's why Tony agrees. Steve shows up in a few Avengers issues but officially Steve at this point is off doing black-ops work as the leader of the Secret Avengers. (He's Commander Rogers, yes. Bucky is Captain America.)

But the real fun -- and by fun I mean "massive amount of angst" -- happens in the arc that takes place in Avengers v4 #7-12. This is the arc where the Hood steals the Infinity Gems from the Illuminati. At this point, Tony is one of the Illuminati and Steve has no idea the Illuminati even exist -- until he finds out. And then, boy is he pissed that Tony has been keeping this from him. Tony and the rest of the Illuminati are in the Himalayas looking for one of their Infinity Gems when Steve shows up, bringing with him what looks like basically every superhero they both know, and they proceed to have a screaming match in the snow while surrounded by all of their friends.

Their friends know they love each other, at least?

It is, if you actually read the panels -- and I recommend you click on the link above and actually read the whole thing -- a weirdly intimate argument to be having while surrounded by everyone they know, given that this is pretty clearly about their feelings. And you'd think maybe they wouldn't want to just stand right here and scream at each other, but I guess that's what they're doing. Okay, then. This is clearly how regular friendships work. Sure.

It is at this point that Peter Parker then analogizes their relationship to “mommy and daddy fighting:”

I mean, okay, fair enough. I guess. You know, I think at this point the emotional beats of Steve and Tony's relationship would make way more actual sense if they were canonically romantically involved, but no one at Marvel asked me.

Anyway! They get to be friends again because they save the world and Tony lets Steve onto the Illuminati and I guess Steve is cool with Tony having secrets as long as he's in on them. (It is one of the weirder aspects of Steve's character that he has a lot of massive issues basically boiling down to him wanting Tony's absolute and complete trust with no secrets from him ever -- about this, about the SHRA, about the incursions, about the Guardsmen, and so on -- but as far as I can tell he doesn't demand this of anyone else. Just Tony.)

Then what happens is Fear Itself, an event that doesn't get a lot of play in fandom. It's not the best event ever, but it's not, you know, absolutely rotten. Definitely not the worst thing Matt Fraction has written! Bucky dies and stays dead for almost no time at all but Steve takes the shield back from him. (And breaks the shield. And gets the shield fixed at the end. They hit the reset button really, really fast at the end of Fear Itself.) Tony also starts drinking again, and he drinks for the duration of the event -- the deal is that he needs Odin to help him out, so he needs a sacrifice, so what he sacrifices is his sobriety.

So you'd think that even though it's Tony drinking in what is basically a cheap ploy to up the narrative tension, that fandom would be all over that the way fandom is all over Tony's other drinking arcs. (Well, okay, fandom's not all over Disassembled, but (1) it's Disassembled, and (2) that one wasn't even his fault.) But this was Tony's choice! We can make something out of that, right? (There is a bit of fic. Not a lot. And not, I think, anything really long.) You might think, perhaps, that the Iron Man run would address the fallout of Tony drinking.

The thing is that the Iron Man run at the time is Fraction's Invincible Iron Man. So, uh. To his credit, he does attempt to address how this loss of sobriety would make Tony feel and how it would affect the people around him. Including Steve! Unfortunately, his ideas about characterization are such that it happens like this:

Because Steve would absolutely respond to Tony's obvious distress by threatening to break his bones, right? Right? Absolutely an in-character thing for Steve to do! Good! Glad we all agree on that!

(Seriously, when I read this I was completely certain it had to be some kind of dream sequence and I turned the page expecting to see Tony wake up. It is not a dream sequence.)

Right. So after Fear Itself, Steve is Captain America and an Avenger again. By this point, Steve and Tony have figured out how be friends (or whatever the hell they are, I give up), and they put a new(er) team together and we get some adorable moments in which Tony calls the press and doesn’t tell Steve:

Seriously, if there is an exchange that better illustrates these two in modern canon when they're getting along than "You should have asked me first" / "You'd have said no, so why would I do that?" I don't know what it is. They pass the Broccoli Test for sure. (I think they alternate between passing the Broccoli Test with zero difficulty and causing the entire supermarket to explode. It's hard to tell.)

Then we head on into AvX, which is an event I did not bother to read because my impression from the panels I have seen is that it is about Steve Rogers and Scott Summers competing to see who can be the biggest asshole and I figured I'd skip it. The Avengers tie-ins are pretty decent, though.

I just have to give a shout out to the last arc of Avengers v4 because, though it is not going to make the slashy moments list, it is A+ on that old-school Avengers feel. Because, you see, Jan -- whom they all thought was dead -- has really been trapped in the Microverse, and the founding Avengers band together to rescue her. And when they find her, this happens:

She kisses Hank! She kisses all of them! She kisses Tony right on the faceplate! I love Jan!

Then they go fight a centaur wearing plate armor (the centaur, not them) (okay I guess technically Tony is wearing plate armor) and it is the very best COMICS.

And then they get home and everyone has a party for Jan and we have some more Steve and Tony bonding:

The run actually ends on them agreeing that the team needs to get bigger, which if you remember is where Hickman's run opens.

If v4 has a downside, for me, it's that it has too much Wonder Man, although I tend to believe that the ideal amount of Wonder Man is zero Wonder Man, so obviously your mileage may vary.

So, yeah, v4 is fun and slashy and it's only 34 issues plus a few annuals and so on. It's a quick read! Give it a try! And then someone can write me some post-Fear Itself fic about Tony drinking because for God's sake we can do better than canon.

[doktorocelot]

Google Pixel 3 XL Review

The Beginning

The Google Pixel is a phone series with a cult following. It's beloved for its smooth, light stock Android experience. However, I've been hearing some major controversy about Pixel 3. My carrier has been AT&T my entire life, and they don't natively carry the Pixel; I'd have to buy it unlocked. So, I skipped on the Pixel 1 and went for a Samsung Galaxy S8+.

Unfortunately, I carelessly dropped the phone on its curved edge and completely shattered the screen. I was devastated, but the phone was nearing the end of the two-year cycle. I've used a few phones in my day: the iPhone 3GS, iPhone 5, Samsung Galaxy S6, Samsung Galaxy S8+ and Google Pixel 3XL. However, as a child/teenager, I didn't have to pay for my own phone, and I was very thankful to be lucky enough to receive this technology. After shattering the Galaxy S8+, I didn't have the selfishness ask my parents to buy a new phone for me; therefore, I had to make a decision on what to do next.

I considered my options. Since I wanted to purchase my own phone, I wasn't limited to what my carrier provided. This was my chance to buy a Pixel! So I went on the Google Store, full of excitement until I noticed something. A Pixel 3 started at $799! That's quite expensive for a stock Android phone; there's the Essential Phone, which starts at $499, and the OnePlus 6T, which starts at $549. I needed to figure out what the Pixel 3 had over these other phones, and some would tell you it's not worth the extra money.

I did some more research and found out that Pixel phones were indeed the first to receive Android updates; if I bought a Pixel 3, I, assumably, would experience Android 9, 10 and 11 throughout the phone's lifespan. This is huge for a software nerd like myself, and that's the deal with the Pixel phones: you're paying more for the software than the hardware. However, I don't care about how good the software is, because the prices of the Pixel phones are gross. Google had a massive chance to undercut the competition by pricing this phone lower and attract more customers, but they didn't. As a result, many people who considered the phone won't buy it because it's too expensive.

Regardless, after all of the research I did, I decided I was going to try something new, and I bought a Google Pixel 3 XL. I went with Google Store Financing, so I'll be paying for this phone for two years. I've had it for about a month and a half now, so I'm going to review the handset based on that time.

The First Impression

The packaging is premium, but I don't fucking care. I don't buy a mobile for the packaging, so I unboxed the phone and set the deluxe packaging aside, never to be seen again. The naked phone looks really good; I really like Google's two-tone style, but there's wasted opportunity with that, which I'll get into later. Anyway, I decided to put the phone into a case immediately because I can't afford to break this one, and since there isn't a curved screen, it shouldn't instantly shatter if I drop it.

The phone's setup was easy, as expected, and worked instantly with the AT&T sim card I put into it. It even came with an ejection tool, which Apple should take notes from. It also came with a headphone dongle — as there is no headphone jack — something that Apple should take notes from. Included was a charging cable with a fast-charging brick, something Apple should take notes from. At this point, some of you may be getting annoyed by my comparing the included accessories to Apple, but you've got to remember: the iPhone X🅂 starts at $999. While I still believe the Pixel 3 and 3 XL are unbelievably priced, at least they give you a damned 3.5mm audio to USB Type-C and fast charging brick.

The phone also came with a set of wired USB Type-C headphones, and these things are super weird. In short, I personally don't like them, but some people do. My favourite earbuds are still Samsung OEM buds because they're very comfortable and sound great. However, I give props to Google for including a nice set of USB Type-C headphones, even if I personally find them uncomfortable.

The Elephant in the Room

I just need to get to this as soon as possible, because I really don't even want to write about it. Everybody's been talking about it, but in case you haven't noticed, the Google Pixel 3 XL has a display cutout. The notch at the top of the screen has been the talking point of many sad people who ride on controversy for views and revenue, including someone who made a five and a half minute video about it. In this video, they whine about a design on a phone they don't have to buy and then are confused why the developer options have different settings for different possible cutouts. Maybe it's for developers to test how their app works on different phones, dude. They also said that Google never justified the notch, even though the phone has dual speakers and dual front-facing cameras.

If you're like me and happen to be an adult, you'll quickly find that the notch doesn't really matter. I'm speaking for myself, but when I use my smartphone, I tend to look at the part of the phone that is the screen, not the part that isn't. Regardless, while it isn't intended for consumer use, you can use the developer options to disable the notch get a more traditional look if you desire to buy a phone with the extra screen and then not use it. However, then I hear people complain that they're losing the screen real estate when they do that. At this point, I needed to take a second to double take because I thought they didn't want the screen there. No, apparently, they want the notch area to be black, so it looks like there isn't a notch, but it still puts the status bar there. This isn't a native option in Pixel phones, but I'm just hoping Google adds this feature so they can shut up about it. Alternatively, there’s an app that does this. If you don't want the notch, you could always buy the Pixel 3, which exists. I'm telling you, though, Pixel 3 XL owners usually don't care about it.

The Screen

Now that I've finally written about the part that isn't the screen, I'll write about the screen. This is the part where I get really annoyed because the Pixel 3 XL's screen has been undergoing two bits of misinformation; I need to address these. First, a lot of people have been saying that the Pixel 3 XL is using a P-OLED screen, instead of an AMOLED screen. This incorrect assumption has led to reviewers' arbitrarily saying the screen is worse because the letters of its name are different from AMOLED. For example, there's a video from the channel, 'Learn How To Edit Stuff', where he proceeds to use a bunch of jumpcuts to get to a point where he says that he liked the iPhone's AMOLED screen better than a P-OLED display. This is such a sad example of a placebo because the Pixel 3 XL uses a Samsung AMOLED screen. This was according to a teardown of the device:

In the name of science, we opt to dismantle our display to learn from whence it came…It's a Samsung! Rumors were all over the place, but it looks like Google is going with Samsung's trusty AMOLED panels this year.

-iFixit (Source)

The Pixel 3 — you know, the small version that exists — is the one that uses a P-OLED display. I'm not sure why Google used two different screens, but whatever.

The second 'issue' I've seen going around is the display's brightness. In fact, I've seen a lot of people say that the screen is too dim. They mention how, on other phones, they keep their brightness at around 50%, but on the Google Pixel 3, they have to set it to approximately 80%, thus killing the battery life. A dim screen would really be a dealbreaker for me… but you know, it's funny; if I were to drop a considerable amount of money a phone that I'm going to use for the next two years, and I had an issue with it, I'd be sure to research it to get more information, rather than just claiming it as an issue and move on. Here's the truth: Android 9 changed the brightness slider completely. The Android developers changed it from a linear scale to a new scale that complements the human's perception of brightness. As a result, what was at 50% is now at around 80% because the slider now appears to work smoothly. The battery won't drain faster because the number is higher than before since the brightness is the exact fucking same.

The Problems

Let me break up this Google-jizzing attitude to explain that this phone, like every other phone, is not perfect. I'm going to put the negatives that I experienced because I want to be fair with this phone. However, do understand that I still find that the upsides heavily outweigh the downsides.

I've personally been having issues with the fingerprint reader. Sometimes, it just won't recognise my fingerprint at all, no matter how much I wipe down both ends. However, other reviewers have said that the fingerprint reader works every time so your mileage may vary.

The Android 9 gesture navigation has really grown on me, but there's one problem I have with it. If you swipe up from the bottom, you get to the recent apps page. If you swipe up again, you get to the app drawer. Supposedly, if you long swipe, you can get instantly to the app drawer, but I find this very difficult to do quickly. I feel like I have to bring my finger up the entire screen slowly to get it to work, and it just really breaks the flow for me.

For some reason, when I watch YouTube videos, the equalisation of the audio varies. Sometimes, I'll get bass-boosted sound when I start the video, but if I skip around the video, the equalisation randomly changes to have more treble. I don't know why it does that, and I can't seem to find anything about it online.

These are some of the minor issues I've been having, but nothing so far has really stuck out to me as significant. So far, my experience with this phone has been pretty solid, and I'm really enjoying it.

The UI

Remember, I was on a Samsung phone before they had One UI, so the change to stock Android was really drastic. Instantly, I felt like the whole phone was just prettier and smoother. The UI was flat, beautiful and, dare I say, gradient-free! I've always had a soft spot for Material Design, so it was finally nice to have my phone be using it for almost everything.

The Pixel launcher is really lovely, too. It's snappy and easy to use. The Google feed to the left is handy, and I appreciate the choice to put a Google search bar at the bottom for easy access. The top of the launcher shows the time and weather, and when a calendar event is coming up, it shows that event and the time remaining until it occurs.

The Not Bloated System

I love the fact that this phone doesn't come with stuff I don't need. In fact, it was the biggest reason I wanted this phone. Yes, I know rooting exists, but I didn't want to do it. This phone comes with the bare essentials, and gone are the days of having two calendar apps because Samsung insists that I use theirs, even though it's shit. I don't have to hide apps anymore with a third-party launcher. Some people say it's weird to brag about fewer features, but in this case, less is more. If I want an app, I'll go to the Play Store and grab it.

The Missed Opportunity

I need to go back to the negatives because I want to talk about something important. Many people may laugh at Energizer's hyperthick phone, but I think it's crucial for smartphone companies to start experimenting with more innovation. This is where Google's two-tone design can be taken advantage of: it's perfect for adding a user-replaceable battery. The Samsung Galaxy S5 showed that it's possible to have a water-resistant phone with a user-removable battery so this could have been Google's chance to add in a great feature that a lot of people miss. If they did that, as well as cut the price down a bit, then I think a lot more people would have a higher interest in buying this phone.

The Conclusion

I didn't go into every little detail about the phone, but I just wanted to give a general review a few things and also to refute some arguments against the phone. There's the big question which asks 'should I buy the Google Pixel 3?' The truth, however, is something I haven't heard any other reviewer say: I don't know what you want. You know what you want. If you're looking to buy a phone, you need to weigh all of the pros and cons of the phones and see which one works for you.

For example, a Pixel 3 doesn't have expandable memory, but if you don't care about that, then it isn't going to bother you. The other bit of the reality is that many of the big tech reviewers switch phones every two weeks or so. Average consumers like you and me usually keep their phones for a minimum of two years. We buy the phone, look at it and say 'this is going to be my smartphone for the next two years or so', and that really changes perspective. Things take time to grow on you, and the Pixel 3 XL really grew on me. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week!

[krnaturalphoto]

Water Gap 50K

When I decided that along with some of my friends we were going to try to run our first 50k this year we initially only planned to do one. Then during the process of training one of my friends training for our first 50k with me mentioned that there was another 50k later in the year that she was considering doing. That sounded potentially fun and something we could possibly do if we felt like it after our first 50k and we still had any interest in running that distance. Over time the idea of running a second 50k this year just kinda fell by the wayside. After our first 50k we never really discussed it.

Then my other friend who ran our first 50k together this year mentioned to me about one and a half months ago that she was thinking about running the other 50k we had talked about previously. And that is all it took. I was in for a second 50k. And that is how I ended up running the Water Gap 50k from Red Newt Racing. All it takes is that one friend who is a bad influence and you get sucked right into another race.

I did not have a particularly good summer of running leading into training for this race. I had no idea what to expect for this training cycle or race. I had battled a lot of soreness over the summer, but I was ready to add in some miles and see how things went. I basically just ran normally during the week and added one long run in at the end of the week. Because of our condensed training time, we only decided to commit to this about a month and a half out from the race we added two miles to our long run each week with no decreases in mileage along the way, just a constant increase in miles. The only week where there was a decrease in miles was the week before the race where most people would taper and for the taper I rested most of the week and then another tough trail race, the Green Monster Trail Challenge 25k which has over 3000 ft of elevation gain. So not really a restful taper. We don’t really do things by the book around here.

Our goal for this race was to finish the 50k in under six hours. I really had no idea what to expect from this race particularly with the condensed training, but after all our long run results we felt pretty confident that we would be in good shape.

I prefer to run in cooler weather, so I was pretty happy as the race approached and the forecast was showing that it would be cooler than the week before. What I was not prepared for was sleeping in a tent overnight in the nearly freezing cold temperatures and then starting only my second 50k race at those same nearly freezing cold temps. That was a little bit of overkill on the, I hope it is colder than last race, wish-fulfillment. But it was still better than being too hot.

This was a very different type of race for me. The course was relatively flat and relatively straight. I have never run a road marathon before (However it looks like that will change next year.) so running 31 miles on flat straight terrain was new to me. I always feel like the constantly changing course of most trail runs benefit my legs by constantly changing my stride and that keeps my muscles from tightening up, but with this course my stride was mostly the same the whole way. I think the combination of that factor and the cold made my hips especially very tight and uncomfortable for most of the race. Even in the beginning when I should have felt good. There were points during the race where we were wishing we could just do a little climbing, something that anyone who knows me knows I never say. We just wanted to break stride and activate some other muscles. I usually love downhill running and there were some very nice little downhills in the beginning of the course that I enjoyed, but by the second half of the race what downhills there were I couldn’t really enjoy because I was too stiff and tight.

Despite all the challenges of training for and then running this race we were at the half way point and pretty sure that unless something catastrophic happened we would be able to make our time goal. During the second half of the race we spent a lot of time doing mental calculations and figuring out how much time we could afford to give back as we got more tired and the wheels started to come off. We would have to run about seven miles farther than our longest training run so one never really knows how it will go. I also spent our training runs trying to work out a new fuel strategy which I never really figured out and then made some unwise choices for pre-race meals the night before that lead me to completely abandon what I was planning to do for fuel that had worked on my previous 50k. Instead I ran the whole race on gels and tailwind until the last aid station where a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was calling my name. It was the first time I felt like eating any solid food other than M&M’s.

We slowed down significantly in the second half of the race but did succeed in finishing under our time goal at 5 hrs and 47 min.

The course was a really nice course and had the opportunity to be gorgeous, but the freezing temperatures and cloud cover most of the day made it hard to enjoy the scenery.  There were a few burst of sunlight peaking through the clouds to brighten things up, however when you are in the middle of a 50k those only serve to heat you up more than you would like. A lot of the course is run on a nice wide gravel trail with trees on one side and an open field on the other side. Those sections are primarily flat. I really loved the sections of the course when you are running through the woods. Some of those sections were more technical and had more elevation changes to them. The woods, the technical trail, and the elevation changes are all thing s I love in the sport of trail running. There were some nice sections where you run pretty close to the river, which again would have been a little nicer if there wasn’t complete cloud cover. My favorite part of the race was a section where you are in the woods and you drop down across a short but relatively steep decent that is narrow and drops off to both sides and then when you get to the bottom you pull a U-turn and go back the way you came at a completely different elevation level and you enter this section of the woods that is like a small twisty canyon for a second. Its kind of narrow and wooded. When I got to that spot I was just like, wow this is why I do this.

Another aspect of this race that I could not possibly oversell is the fact that myself and two of my friends ran the race and then two more friends crewed us at the race the whole time. I ran the entire race with my friend who talked me into running the race. I have never before run an entire race with someone before, that was a nice experience and if nothing else it makes the concept of a race less stressful. Its more like just another long training run with your friend. I highly recommend that if you are going to run an ultra and can make a weekend with your friends out of it, do it. You will not regret it.

At this race I again tried something a little bit different. I only shot video with my GoPro’s and no photos. I then used my software to extract photos from the video. I am not happy with the results of those photos. The photos did not turn out as well as I would have hoped. After these last two races I will go back to some of my methods I have used in the past. This is what happens when you are always pushing the limits and trying new things. Sometimes things don’t go as well as you would like.

from Water Gap 50K