#but sometimes when I'm really Suffering

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

While we're at it, "So how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? How much tragedy?" is a supremely fucked up lyric. Like, hauntingly so.

[tvckerwash]

wash tormenting the reds in the most petty ways possible because he's still pissed off about them hitting him with a car and then blowing him up in s8 is so important to me you don't even understand

[number1villainstan]

Paul could have fallen on his knife at any time.

The books, and the most recent movies, present Paul's descent from 'somewhat innocent son of Atreides' to 'dark Messiah' as something he had no control over, to an extent--the power of the prophecies, of the Bene Gesserit manipulations, of the political forces at work, and of eventually the actions of specifically Jessica were just too powerful and too inescapable. It is presented as a tragedy, with all of the inescapability that entails. There is no choice.

But there is always a choice. There always has to be a choice. These machinations only work if they have the right tool. So what do you do when you want to escape being the figurehead, the spark that lights the fire that is the Jihad? You must take away that spark. Permanently.

But that's the thing, isn't it? The only way out was so drastic Paul would never have taken it. To fall on his knife would be to leave behind his mother and his growing sister and Chani, it would be to betray Stilgar, it would be to end the male line of House Atreides (remember how gender works in this world, remember how women cannot hold power outside of religion) and betray his father, it would be to give in to the Harkonnens.

But to fall on his sword would also be to deprive the machinations of the Bene Gesserit of their Kwisatz Haderach, the corrupted fundamentalist faith of the Fremen their Messiah, the looming Jihad its figurehead and focal point. Perhaps it wouldn't be enough, perhaps the focus would have simply shifted to Jessica or even Alia, gender roles notwithstanding, but it's still a powerful act, a powerful message to send--that one would rather die than act to cause death.

Or perhaps the route the galaxy would go without the Jihad would be worse in the long run. Perhaps the Fremen would stay an oppressed people; but I want to believe that Chani (specifically Chani in the recent movies) is correct, that the Fremen need no outside Messiah and would have freed themselves. That maybe the galaxy wouldn't get better, but it certainly wouldn't have gotten worse.

And isn't that awful? For a non-tragic ending to require such a tragic choice?

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[an-ruraiocht]

sometimes self compassion is the opposite of letting yourself off easy. sometimes self compassion means holding yourself to account and demanding you do better which is so much more work than just punishing yourself. making yourself feel bad so that you feel better is a lot easier than putting the work in to actually repair harm and be less shit. it doesn't feel like that when you're down in the self punishment instinct hole and your brain is telling you that you don't deserve not to be hurt but. it's true.

[keyofjetwolf]

So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!

[triangle-strategy-notes]

Piccoletta Concept Art

Piccoletta's concept art! Translation notes and image id under the cut.

Translation notes:

"Yoshitaka Amano" was literally "Amano-sensei." I wanted to convey the respect of the honorific and just "Amano" felt too casual, so I used his full name to sort of make it more formal.

The note about "sparkle charms in her hair" was a little hard to parse - the really literal translation seems to be something like "hair sparkles in charmies" which could theoretically mean "she has charming sparkles in her hair" or "she has sparkle charmies in her hair" or "her hair is charmed to have sparkles in it." I really wasn't sure either way.

"Face of a little imp" was a line that was kind of difficult to make out (just small handwriting). There was definitely something about a little devil/imp, but I wasn't 100% sure about the rest.

"Snobbish" was literally "she turns up her nose" or "her nose turns up". It might have been literally talking about her nose being upturned/pointy, but given the other bullet points, I'm assuming here that it was more talking about her personality.

Image id:

[id: Two pages from the Triangle Strategy artbook about Piccoletta. The first has two versions of her canon portrait, one colored and one uncolored. There is a note at the bottom that reads, "We gave her a more showy design than the main characters since she's a different sort of class. The tentative alias we gave her was "Item Thrower," so looks like we gave her a ball to hold (laughs). (Tatsuaki Urushihara)". On the second page, there are several illustrations of Piccoletta. One note points out her lacy skirt that goes under her dress, and another piece of text labels her boots as "leather." Next to a few drawings of her face, one of which seems to be pouting or reprimanding, there are the bullet points "Face of a little imp," "Precocious young girl," "Snobbish," "Mischevious," and "Paints face white". There is also a note that reads, "Sparkle charms in her hair." Next to a small drawing of her juggling, it says, "Throws all sorts of things". There is also a note that reads, "Item Thrower Character". On the second half of the page, there are more drawings of Piccoletta with a more typical medieval hairstyle. Her skirt is again labeled, and there's another note about her being "a precocious girl." At the bottom of the page there is another note that reads, "I wasn't conscious of it at the time, but this design might have borrowed from the style of Yoshitaka Amano's Final Fantasy art. (Tatsuaki Urushihara)". /end id]

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[pochapal]

went outside and exercised normally for the first time since The Incident and i felt fine outside of the expected Hasn't Exercised in several months feelings. against doctor's orders btw but i would rather be dead than forced to spend all my time at home not doing a single thing that could exert me in any way <3

[brinnanza]

sometimes i like to research the treatment protocols for my various Issues and Problems and it is always very gratifying to find psychiatrists recommend something I am already doing today's rabbit hole was alexithymia because it's very much a the top fell off of the sprinkles container and now my bowl is all sprinkles at the autism sundae bar and it turns out the thing they're doing for that is basically just thinking about how you feel about stuff and practicing untangling it so you can do it faster on the fly and lo and behold that is precisely what my weed fueled self therapy sessions have been about lately

[toomanywordsnllines]

What if Ghost wears his mask because, after all the torment his father rained on him... he got the nervous tic of smiling AND laughing...

He starts getting nervous and his lips start to twitch up into a smile.... He can't stop it. It just... happens

Someone can be brutality killed in front of him but because of his father, his lips just twitch into a smile instead of a frown or grimace. It doesn't reach his eyes so no one really knows it, but he feels disgusted with himself anyway. Smiling and laughing at someone suffering? "What kind of monster are you Simon?"

[astarab1aze]

i feel like, i may have left whether the fhal'tir are matriarchal or patriarchal unclear. after the defeat of the mad empress, there were a lot of questions raised as to who should or should not lead, whether they as a people should try patriarchal leadership and radically shift their culture to see if they might benefit from it. what ultimately ended up happening was: a slow mixing of demographic powers and select (but) general social changes, a noble man chosen to lead as emperor and as primary leader over an empress. yet, even so, fhal'tiran women maintain elevated social status in general, where the men are still mostly considered important just less so at a 60-40 sort of...ratio - except for the emperor and his heirs, which i realize is probably a little strange. everyone is a cog in the same machine, just to varying degrees of functional importance. the way their society is set up, it works well and suits their needs for the most part.

[seaofreverie]

Anyway.... Back to what I was pondering earlier today... It's been 4 months but I'm still as deeply obsessed with Exotic Creatures of the Deep as at the very start

[icewindandboringhorror]

I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 

[flower-zombie-rob]

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.