#but something is deeply wrong when I can go to the two major pet stores in this country

[jellybeanium124]

had to go to petco and petsmart (ugh) because I don't need the 10 pound bag of pellets to foster one small bunny and it was hard to find the 5 pound bag available online, and holy shit they just keep dead beta fish out in basically plastic soup containers. like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. genuinely horrifying to stumble upon. I haven't been to a pet store in well over 10 years (I had two pairs of fish as a kid, and mine were kept in a decent size tank at least with some snails cleaning the algae). I know they're territorial and need their own space so they can't be kept in a big tank all together like the other fish for sale, but holy shit what the fuck why are people breeding beta fish just to store them in fucking soup containers where they die. not to be a privileged american but I gotta be honest that was one of the most horrifying things I've seen in person with my own two eyes. just these shelves full of dead or dying beta fish for sale.

[katieskarlette]

LiLi  

19 Nov 2019 to 8 Feb 2021

Vinnie

13 March 2019 to 18 January 2021

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heart is broken.  Between these two recent losses and the betta who succumbed to old age earlier in January, I’ve lost half my beloved fish so far this year.

Vinnie was never as robust as his tankmate, Sally (who was purchased the same day from the same tank at the store).  She was half again his size.  He began to have trouble staying upright, lying sideways on the bottom, and a couple days later he stopped eating.  I used clove oil to end his suffering.  It was terribly sad but I had seen it coming for months since he was lagging behind Sally.  Sometimes goldfish (especially ones with pet store genetics) just fail to thrive, and when they reach around the two year mark something goes haywire and that’s it.  I’ve seen it before, so I knew the signs, but Vinnie was a really sweet little fish and I would loved to have him around longer.

LiLi’s passing was an utter shock, however.  She had been absolutely normal--eating, swimming, napping, being friendly--until suddenly she went sideways/upside down and appeared to be partly paralyzed while having twitching fits.  About an hour later she was gone.  Boom, just like that.  No warning signs at all.  She had always been an active fish who really seemed to enjoy life, and she had been growing a lot.  She had a great relationship with her tankmate, Maui, and was always friendly to people, too.  She loved swimming through the bubble curtain and perching herself on top of plants to nap.  She ate lunch enthusiastically that day, had her usual afternoon snooze with Maui in their favorite spots, then was up, bopping around, acting like her usual perky self, and then...something catastrophic happened inside her, and she was gone.

I wasn’t having a great few weeks anyway, as far as mental health goes, but I had been plodding along.  This absolutely devastated me.  I actually called into work today because I just wasn’t up to it.  I’m slowly getting myself together now, but I’m still in a state of shock.

I’ve had a few other goldfish in the past 19 years who have keeled over this fast, but it’s very rare, and I’ve never watched the whole thing happen in front of my eyes.  Other times I saw them being totally normal, then an hour or two later looked and found them dead.  This time I saw it all, helpless to do a damn thing about it.  I keep reliving it in my mind.

My fish are like my babies.  I’ve cried so much in the last 48 hours my eyes are a wreck and my head feels like I’ve been conked with a baseball bat.

So now I have a 55-gallon tank and a 37-gallon tank, each with a single goldfish in it.  The next step seems obvious, right?  Take Sally out of the 37-gallon and have her join Maui in the 55-gallon.  Except I tried to introduce her to LiLi and Maui shortly after Vinnie died, and she was a holy terror.  

Backing up, I had long suspected I guessed the sexes of both Sally and Vinnie wrong.  Sally would occasionally get into a mood where she would chase Vinnie relentlessly.  She actually had been doing that just before his final decline, which I’m sure didn’t help him any, but as I said he had been showing signs of not thriving long before that incident.

LiLi was a bit more than twice Sally’s size, and Maui is half again LiLi’s size, so I didn’t figure Sally’s aggression would go anywhere.  For the first few hours they were together, they seemed to get along great!  They swam together, smelling and inspecting each other, with her following them around the tank in a “let me give you the grand tour” kind of way, but there were no signs of aggression.  They ate supper together with no more jostling than usual for goldfish.  Then, a few hours into the evening, Sally just went nuts.  She started chasing the other two, driving hard into them, pushing them over, just being a huge pain in the peduncle.  She took after Maui more than LiLi, but she’d break off from harassing him to chase her around a bit, too.  At first I thought they were just working out a pecking order and let them sort it out, but it continued for a half hour without a lull, and I could tell Maui and LiLi were getting really stressed.  Sally got a stern talking-to and a trip back into the 37-gallon tank.

Sally’s been quite content by herself in the weeks since then.  I expected her to get lonely and mopey, but so far she really hasn’t.  She’s been active, her appetite is good, and she seems to get her social needs met by me spending the vast majority of my leisure time in the computer chair an arm’s length away from her.

Goldfish almost always need another member of their species around to bond with and socialize with.  I’ve had goldfish who have deeply mourned their tank mates and been lethargic and bored by themselves.  I’ve only had one who preferred to be alone.  I’m hoping Sally isn’t the second.

Maybe the dynamic will be different with only one other fish to get to know instead of two.  Maybe because she’s been by herself for much longer now she’ll be happier to see another of her own kind.  I don’t know, but I have to try.  If Sally and Maui can share the bigger tank, I can get another pair of tiny ones to grow up in the 37-gallon.  If they can’t cohabitate then I’m left trying to find a new tankmate for Maui, who definitely needs one.

I don’t know why it’s so damn hard to find fantail goldfish online.  I’ve had both ryukins and orandas in the past (the latter only because I bought what I thought were fantails who ended up growing wens) but I vastly prefer the more normal body types of fantails and veiltails.  No headgrowth that can interfere with their sight or breathing.  No buggy eyes.  No deformed humps.  Just...a fish with long fins.  I know the egg-shaped body of a fantail isn’t exactly natural, either, but it’s much closer to that of their wild carp ancestors, and less likely to lead to health problems.

I have searched extensively online through the years for a source of quality fantails or veiltails, and found one place that is no longer in business (where Maui and the late Aolani came from), and another that stopped carrying non-pond varieties a couple months after I got LiLi from them.

The local brick-and-mortar pet stores really only have larger fantails when someone surrenders one due to it being too big for their tank.  There isn’t enough demand to carry them normally.  Last time I was in the market I asked the locally-owned pet store to call me if anyone brought in a large fantail.  I never heard back from them, which I understand if there was nothing to report, but I don’t know how long they kept my note on file.  Probably not indefinitely.

It’s so frustrating.  And a big part of my healing process after I’ve lost a fish is to welcome a new one home.  When I can’t do that I have nothing to distract me from the loss, and I just feel bad every time I see the “widowed” fish being alone.

So yeah.  2021 is not the year of the fish.

[yellowocaballero]

You And Me (And Your Friend Daisy)

Thanks for pushing me to finish this, Anon! This is a short, fun, and romantic story written in the verse of my other fics Bell, Book, and Candle and No Sin But Ignorance. Takes place some time post the ending of No Sin But Ignorance. That being said, this is probably very comprehensible without knowledge of those fics, so feel free to just view it as a no-apocalypse au. The majority of this was written while writing Feste - more accurately, when I needed a break from the crushing depression of Feste, so that’s why it’s so cheerful. :)

Yes, it’s named after that Garfunkel and Oates song, because that’s the plot. 

The rest of the story is under the cut!

*******************************************

“Are you going to tell me where we are?”

“You have to guess! And no peeking!”

Jon sighed, slouching in his seat. He hated surprise vacations. He hated being forced to leave work and ‘take a break’ because ‘you’re contractually obligated to use your PTO hours’. And he did take vacations, he didn’t know why everybody acted like he didn’t. He and Georgie took Gerry to Blackpool once a year for Spring Break. That was a whole week off. That was enough for anybody. 

But Martin had been pointedly sending him emails about ‘fun couple’s trips’ and ‘romantic getaways’ in an ultra-subtle act of subliminal messaging. Indeed, the three emailed promotional advertisements listing off fun, relaxing, and romantic things to do with your significant other were so subtle that Emma was forced to listen in on the automated JAWS voice reading them out and then call him a ‘fucking idiot’. 

Whatever. It wasn’t as if Gertrude took any vacations, and nobody got on her back for it. Jon was willing to bet that Dekker never sent Gertrude any passive aggressive emails. He would have to ask him later - they got boba together once a month, he was an excellent conversational partner. He was, of course, slightly insane, both for his fervent adherence to the ancient religions and willingness to come within five feet of Gertrude Robinson for personal reasons, but all the best supernatural hunters were. 

“Well, we’ve clearly been driving north for the past eight hours, judging from the angle of the sun,” Jon said, annoyed. The car radio was playing the Archers in a dull drone, which Jon had insisted upon, because he and Daisy never missed an episode. This confused and frightened Martin. A bag rustled, and Jon knew that Martin was fishing around in the plastic convenience store sack for more Jaffa cakes. “Combined with the time, that can only mean that we’re going to Scotland. I don’t have any close friends in Scotland and I’m willing to be you don’t either -”

“Hey!”

“ - so unless you assigned yourself the task of following up on the Scottish Slaughter Statement without me assigning it to you, and deciding to bring me along, I’m guessing that we’re going to stay in a hotel and do...touristy things.”

“Wrong again,” Martin said triumphantly. He liked keeping track of every time Jon was innocently incorrect about something, just to prove it to everyone else. “I mean, yes, we are in Scotland, you’re right about that, but we are not staying in a hotel. We’re staying in the country.”

“Darling, I would love to sit on the Scottish Moors and stare out into the endless, unceasing fog with you in complete silence,” Jon said lovingly, “but I thought you wanted to do something romantic.”

“That’s not romantic?” Martin gasped, horrified. “Have you even read Wuthering Heights?”

“You and Gerry are two peas in a goth pod.”

“He’s goth, I’m gothic. There’s a difference. And don’t tell me that you don’t enjoy gothic literature - you’re literally a Byronic hero.”

“Oh, here we go,” Jon sighed, as the car bumped over a speed bump. He hadn’t heard another car for hours now, and he knew that they had to be in the middle of nowhere. The weather had grown colder, more humid, and occasionally he could hear the bleat of cows. It was...calming. 

Then Martin started listing off the very many reasons why Jon was a classical Byronic hero, then Jon had to remind him that none of that stuff had technically happened, then Martin began insisting that it happened in their hearts, then Jon got deeply engrossed into today’s episode of the Archers and felt the need to inform Martin about its illustrious and aged history, which prompted Martin to put on Hatsune Miku when the episode was over and indoctrinate Jon into whatever ‘Vocaloid’ was, and by the time the car transitioned to skittering over bumpy gravel they were both entering a heated discussion about the most superior of the ‘Vocaloids’. 

“ - and she created Minecraft?”

“And she’s trans,” Martin said heatedly. 

“Good for her,” Jon said, just bemused. The car engine quieted, and keys clinked and rustled. “Are we here?”

“Yep! Seven hours later.” Martin sighed and made a quiet, satisfied noise, probably stretching, and Jon didn’t bother to fight his smile. Man was like a cat. “I want to show you around and everything, but honestly that drive was exhausting and I might take a nap first.” He sighed happily. “Peace. Quiet. No coworkers.”

“I’m your coworker,” Jon pointed out, opening the door of the car as Martin did the same. He stepped onto gravel, grinding his trainer a little into it, and breathed in. The air tasted...fresh. Clean. Pure and just a little chilly. It was nice. It perked Jon up, as the wind lightly tousled his curls. He stretched his legs too, cramped from being knitted up in the small car. Martin popped the boot and started loading packages into his arms, and Jon walked over and held his arms out so he could help Martin carry the packages. Martin dropped a picnic basket filled with snacks in his arms, and handed him his own suitcase, as Martin dropped his own suitcase on the ground with a heavy thump. “How does a teenage girl create a video game? That’s very impressive.”

“This week you are my boyfriend,” Martin corrected him, thumping the boot down. “No Emma getting on my case about misfiling the papers. No Michael concern trolling me. No Eric judging me for my taste in tea. No Gertrude terrifying me every second of the day. I am free. I am not going to think about work, or anybody related to work, for a single second. No Entities. No fear demons. No monsters, besides my boyfriend.”

“Thanks,” Jon said wryly. “Aren’t we forgetting someone?”

“Oh, darn it!” Martin opened the back door of the car, and pulled out a carrier. The wire door of the carrier cinched open and Tiresias came bounding out, barking madly and running in little circles around Jon, his tail beating against Jon’s leg. Jon laughed, lifting his burden higher in his arms, and let Martin loop his arm around Jon’s and guide him towards what he had to assume was some kind of building. “C’mere, boy. Good boy! You were so good for the trip! You’re getting a hundred snacks as soon we get inside.”

“Are you going to tell me where we are yet?” Jon asked, exasperated. 

Martin squeezed his arm happily as they walked up an incline, shoes scuffing dirt. “I got permission from Daisy to borrow it. It’s her cabin, just outside of Applecross. It’s really in the middle of nowhere, nobody around for kilometers. Just us and a great deal of cows. It’s really gorgeous, Jon, with such clean air and beautiful hills. I can’t wait to go for walks with you. You’ll get so much time to go through your audiobook collection. And we can snuggle, and I can cook for you, and we can listen to more radio dramas, and we can talk about our future, and you can pet the cows…”

“Sounds wonderful,” Jon said honestly, squeezing Martin’s arm back. They paused, Martin rustling his keys again, and Jon heard the grinding of metal before a door seemed to creak open. “I can’t wait to spend this week with you. I could use a little peace, I think.”

“Gods, me too. You have no idea how stressed I’ve been. It’ll be just you, me, and -”

That’s when Martin screamed, and Tiresias barked excitedly and ran forward, almost bowling Jon over, and a familiar voice broke the quiet of the rustic cabin. 

“Aren’t you a good boy, Tiresias? Aren’t you a good boy?” Daisy Tonner’s grin was audible through her words, but it held a familiar tint of ferociousness. “Hullo, Jon. Blackwood. What are you doing here a week early?”

“Early!” Martin squeaked. “I said we were coming up the first week of September -”

“Really?” Daisy said, voice casual. Seemingly. “Because I have it down in my calendar as the second week. This is my vacation. And I’m not leaving.”

Silence stretched between them. Jon smiled happily towards the sound of Daisy’s voice, placing his burdens at his feet, and soon Daisy walked forward and enveloped him in a bone cracking hug. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Jon said, hugging her tightly back too. “I’m sure we can share the cabin for the week. It’ll be fun, like a sleepover!”

“Oh, I think so too,” Daisy said, her voice tinged in a wolf’s grin. “Don’t you think so, Martin?”

“Good fucking christ,” Martin said. 

****

True to his word, Martin was exhausted enough that he immediately made the bed and collapsed into it. Jon lovingly took off his shoes and socks and Tiresias even, adorably, pulled the comforter up around Martin’s ears. But Martin didn’t sleep: he seemed preoccupied in angrily muttering to himself about how he didn’t get the time wrong, she did, this was all her fault, and it was also completely on purpose, devil woman, everybody was trying to ruin everything - 

“Love, if I ask her to go, she’ll go,” Jon said. 

“No! Ugh!” Martin screamed lowly, muffled, and Jon realized with amusement he was screaming into the pillow. “It’s her house, she’s doing us a favor, I don’t want to be rude! I can’t kick her out of her own home!”

“Are you going to be passive aggressive at her until she leaves?”

Incriminatingly, Martin was silent. 

“She’s more stubborn than you are. If you try to solve this with your usual methods she’ll outlast you.”

“I hate her so much,” Martin groaned. 

“Don’t say that,” Jon said loyally. “She’s really come around to you, you know. She hasn’t threatened to chop your dick off in - oh, two weeks now. That’s a new record.”

Martin groaned again. Jon kissed him on the cheek, turned the light off - “Jon, you just turned the light on.” - turned the light off for real this time, and went into the living room/dining room/kitchen to start putting away all the food they had brought. He bent over his suitcase, withdrawing Tiresias’ harness, and whistled to call him over before snapping the harness on. Tiresias stiffened into what Georgie called ‘Buisness Boy Mode’, and Jon grabbed his handle with one hand as he loaded the groceries into the other. 

“Here, let me help.” Daisy lifted the other load from the floor, leading the both of them into the kitchen and opening the fridge. “I know Georgie’s organizational system.”

Jon just sighed, slowly navigating his way to the fridge to put his own load away. They had clothing to unpack, things to set up, and arrangements to plan, but Jon had the sense that none of it was getting done immediately. 

“What were your plans for this week?”

“I normally go up here to hunt,” Daisy grunted, sliding cans into the cabinet. At Jon’s raised eyebrow, she clarified, “with guns. They’re all locked up in the gun cabinet, as is my ammo and knives. Neither you nor Martin have the keys, but the cabinet is in a closet near the bathroom. That should be locked too.”

“Goodness, Daisy, I’m not an errant toddler. I won’t play with your collection.”

“You’re my errant toddler,” Daisy said loyally, giving him a noogie and making him scowl. “Say it. Say you’re an errant toddler.”

“Goodness, Daisy, leave me be -”

Then she lifted him up, like he was nothing more than a bundle of sticks, and held him in the air as he screamed and kicked his legs, trying to get down. Tiresias, the Traitor, the Serpent, the King of Lies, barked happily. “Let me down! Daisy!”

“Say you’re an errant toddler and I’ll let you down.”

“I shan’t. Daisy, stop -!” But then she started tickling him, which was extremely dangerous, and Jon was forced to cackle out in breathless laughter, “Fine, I’m a toddler, let me down, you crazy woman!”

She tossed him lightly onto the pull-out couch, putting away the rest of the groceries herself, and Jon let Tiresias sit on top of him and lick his face as he could almost audibly hear Martin pouting in the bedroom. 

“This’ll be fun,” Daisy said, shutting the cabinet and rustling some familiar boxes. “Can’t believe Tim paid me fifty quid to do this. I would have done it for free.”

“Do what?”

“Never mind. I have your copy of Life, do you want to play?”

“Sure!” Jon sat up, feeling Daisy sit down next to him and set out the game pieces. Then something occurred to him. “Wait. What are you doing with my copy of Life?”

“Georgie lent it to me.”

“...why did Georgie -”

“I was going to leave it here for when you came up,” Daisy said easily, and Jon nodded in acceptance. “Spin the spinner to see whose turn comes first.”

Jon considered thinking deeper about this, but Daisy wouldn’t lie to him. She was the most trustworthy person he knew. She didn’t have a deceitful bone in her body. He shrugged and reached forward and found the spinner, giving it a good twist before rubbing his thumb over the braille. Something occurred to him. 

“Maybe we can ask Martin if he wants to join -”

“I’m sure he would prefer his rest.”

“Okay!”

This vacation was going to go great. Why had Jon been worried?

****

That night they had a delicious barbecue outside, cooked by Daisy. Martin ate it in angry silence, which was quickly broken by Jon’s frequent nudges and directions for conversation. He wasn’t the most socially adept person at the best of times, but Martin and Daisy were two of his best friends and he knew how to get the both of them talking. He was even able to draw them into a spirited conversation about 19th century literature - Daisy preferred Russian novels, while Martin preferred Gothic romances and Hugo and Jon tended towards nonfiction. Afterwards Daisy grabbed her gun, kissed Jon on the cheek, did something that made Martin squeak in fear, and tramped off to go hunt deer or something. Jon waved her off with a blessing, his sixth sense thrumming with satisfaction for the Sacrifice. 

He spent the night cuddled up with Martin, watching Beauty and the Beast on his laptop. Martin was obsessed with Disney movies in a way that explained a great deal about him, and Beauty and the Beast was his absolute favorite. Jon ran his fingers through his soft and feathery hair as Martin squeezed his hand, and Jon’s heart settled in complete contentment. The audio description voice droned gently about the heartwarming falling in love montages, but Jon wasn’t really paying attention: he just felt safe, and warm, and as if he wanted the moment to last forever. 

Then his mobile rang, a clear automated voice saying “Gerard calling. Gerard calling.”

“Oh, I should get that.” Jon straightened, throwing out a hand on the coffee table where he thought he had put his phone, and Martin pressed it into his hand. He accepted the call quickly, putting it on speaker and holding it up to his ear just like, he was reliably assured, ‘an old man’. “Hello, honey?”

“Jon!” Gerry yelled. “Did you get the cabin okay?”

“Oh, so everyone knew but me,” Jon said, amused. “You’re on speaker, Gerry, so say hello to Mr. Blackwood.”

“Hi Martin! Are you guys having a good time? You have to take me next time, I want to see Daisy’s guns!”

“You will not see Daisy’s guns,” Jon said quickly. 

“Hi Gerry,” Martin said, a smile clear in his somewhat strained voice. “Sure, you and Georgie should come up next time. Make it a party. Why not.”

“Told you she’d do it,” Georgie said, and Jon perked up. “Hullo, love. How’s your romantic getaway going?”

“Oh, it’s lovely,” Jon said, excited. “We’re going to walk down to the town tomorrow, check out some of their antique stores. I’ll let you know if we find any interesting art.”

“I’ve been up to Daisy’s cabin a few times with Melanie, it’s delightful. Great place for her to hunt and for me to practice my carrion photography. It’s always nice just to get away from it all! I hope you haven’t touched any work, Jon.”

“I haven’t,” Jon said loyally. He paused a beat. “Do Statements count? Because I was planning on listening to a few recorded ones as a sort of bedtime story?”

“That’s just self-care,” Georgie assured him. “Treat yourself, queen.”

“Thanks, honey. Make sure Gerry gets his homework done? Do you need any help? I have some time now -”

“I got it,” Georgie said, laughing slightly. “I can still help a fifteen year old with his English. I’ll make sure he brushes his teeth too. Just enjoy yourself.”

“Have a good time, Dad!” Gerry called, the affectionate nickname making Jon smile. “Bring me back a cow!” Slightly more muffled, Jon heard him say to Georgie, “Mum, when Jon goes on a romantic getaway, what do you think they -”

“Night, honey! Night, Martin! Love you!” Georgie called loudly.

Jon laughed, unable to stop himself from waving a little, as if they were there. “Night, you two. Love you too. Stay safe.”

“We will! Bye!”

The line clicked off, and Martin’s arm stretched across Jon’s shoulders squeezed a little tighter. Jon extended a foot and clicked the space bar on the computer, starting up the movie again. 

“You’d make a really good dad,” Martin said, almost to himself. 

Jon settled back against Martin, leaning his head against his shoulder. “I feel like one already, honestly. Obviously, I have far more experience with teenagers than babies, but they can’t be that hard. If I don’t drop them…why?”

Martin coughed a little, abruptly flustered. “No reason! No reason.”

“Do you want kids?”

“Can’t exactly have them biologically,” Martin muttered, before sighing. “Yeah, I’d love to...foster or adopt or something. I’ve had my - differences - with my parents, but I’m still glad they adopted me, you know? I’d like to pass that on. But...better. Much better.”

“Georgie is talking about fostering again once Gerard moves in with Eric,” Jon said quietly. The thought of Gerry moving out, of living full time with Eric again - it just seemed weird. Almost wrong, although it wasn’t - Eric adored Gerry, and he was a competent father. It was just that...well, technically, Gerry had been living with them since the beginning of the universe. On a purely literal level, they really had always had Gerry with them. It would be strange. “As a - recipient of the foster care system myself, I’d like to make a difference too.” He smiled thinly. “We’re very compatible, aren’t we?”

“Would it be...you and Georgie…?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

Martin sighed a little. “Is it dumb that sometimes it feels like you already have a family built in?”

Hm. Jon hadn’t quite thought about it that way. “You know those jokes about me and Georgie being married are just jokes,” Jon said reproachfully. 

Martin moved away a little, leaning forward, slipping his arm from Jon’s shoulder. He abruptly missed the warmth. “But you’re partners. You’re raising a kid. And I know Daisy and Tim think of themselves as your overprotective big siblings, they aren’t even wrong.”

“Many people have siblings? And friends? Some even have kids, I’ve heard.”

“I don’t.” There was really nothing for Jon to say to that, so he didn’t say anything. “I don’t want my entire social circle to just be through you…”

“It won’t be,” Jon said firmly, reaching out a hand and brushing it against Martin’s arm. He squeezed it firmly. “You don’t have to be Lonely anymore, Martin. I won’t let you.”

“Is that a promise?” Martin said, as if he was joking, as if Jon wasn’t certain that he wasn’t. As if he needed the reassurance. 

“How can you be lonely when I’m here?” Jon said, and trailed his hand up along Martin’s arm until he reached his neck and he could cup his face. He rubbed a thumb against his wispy stubble, light and thin. “I’m right here.”

Martin kissed him, and then the movie was quite thoroughly forgotten as Jon necked with his boyfriend on the couch like a teenager. They forgot everything, and for a small period of glorious time Jon forgot everything that he knew, in all of its entirety, and his Eye saw only the here and now. 

Then the door thumped open, the wind blew into the cabin, and heavy footsteps thumped into the room. Something dragged behind the footsteps, something that sounded a bit...wet. 

Martin, who was thoroughly on top of Jon and almost done unbuttoning his shirt, froze. Jon just craned his head, trying to hear the sounds of what was likely a dead deer being pulled in through the entrance way better. 

“Hello Daisy!” Jon said, still pinned down. “How was your hunting?”

“Lucrative. We’re eating venison tomorrow.”

“Great! Need any help getting that put away?”

“No, I’m good.” Tiresias barked happily. “Here, boy, you can have a little. Good boy. I’ll probably skin and clean it outside, I just wanted to get my gloves.”

“Take your time!”

Martin sighed and got off Jon, straightening his own clothing. “Yeah, Daisy, take your time.”

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Daisy said blithely. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re fine,” Jon assured her, fixing his own hair from where it had grown tangled. “Want to finish this movie with us?”

“Sure, let me gut this animal first.”

“Great! Scooch over, Martin.”

“You know,” Martin said, “maybe we want to move to the bedroom?”

“If we stay in the living room I can hook up your laptop to the television and we can watch the movie that way,” Daisy said innocently. 

“That sounds good,” Jon agreed. He patted Martin’s hand. “Is that alright with you?”

Martin sighed. “Yeah. Of course.”

That night, Jon curled up next to Martin on the creaky wooden bed, listening to the flies buzz around them and the crickets hiss their lilting song outdoors. 

His earbuds were still nestled in his ears, the soft hum of his Walkman cutting the quiet night, his own pre-recorded voice reading out a story. Martin sat next to him, and occasionally Jon could hear the soft shift of the pages of a book turning. Every so often Martin would gasp, or make a little noise at some exciting event in his book. 

Jon rolled over, throwing out an arm and pulling Martin in close, resting his head on Martin’s shoulder as he let the earbuds roll gently out of his ears. Martin was soft and warm, the cotton of his t-shirt rubbing up against Jon’s cheek, and Jon let his mind gently bliss out and drift away. 

He thought about the breakfast he wanted to make the next morning, and of the soft beat of Scottish sun on his face. He thought about the creak of cobblestones as jumped-up jalopies rolled over them, and of the shifting and groan of old wood. He thought of the bright, sharp summer smell of the highlands, and the sinking and sticky marshland. 

“We should visit the antique store in town tomorrow,” Jon murmured. “Georgie’s been looking for a new lamp, and I think they should have a nice Rococo one for cheap.”

“Oh? Maybe I can pick something up too.” Martin gently scratched Jon’s scalp, making him bliss out even further. “Nice of you to always loop us in on the best deals, you little shopping catalogue.”

They, of course, had not been to the town yet, and there was no reason for Jon to know of the antique store, or the Rococo lamp. Jon hadn’t even thought about it, the information as available and easy as the layout of the convenience store down the street and a left turn from his childhood council flat. 

Martin’s voice broke the quiet, cutting through the buzz of insects. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know everything,” Jon yawned, snuggling into Martin’s side closer. 

“Not what I meant.” Martin hesitated, almost awkwardly. “You’re a literal mind reader and everything, but I’m not, so…”

“Oh, Martin.” Jon reached a hand up and cupped Martin’s cheek. “I built this world from the bedrock of my love for you.”

“Uh - wow! That’s - it’s kind of weird how you can just say that and have it be true!”

“Our lives are weird,” Jon agreed, brushing his thumb over Martin’s lips, and he carefully leaned his head up to kiss him, and they passed the long silent minutes just like that. 

Several hours later, Jon found himself jerking awake. Martin was snoring beside him, and he couldn’t feel any sun on his face, so Jon figured it was likely still nighttime. He carefully slipped out of bed, reaching out a hand and trailing it along the wall until he managed to leave the bedroom, navigate down the hall, and enter what he was fairly sure was the living room. 

“Jon?” A voice broke the night. Daisy, who had taken the pull-out couch. “You looking for the loo?”

It was only then that Jon realized that he didn’t know why he had gotten up. Tiresias snored loudly in the kitchen, adding a subtle undertone to the noise from outside, and Jon found himself shrugging helplessly. “I don’t think so. Did I wake you up?”

“Nah. Hold tight, I’ll help you to the couch.” Sure enough, after the almost silent footsteps echoed through the main room Jon felt a soft hand on his back, and she led him towards the couch. Jon lightly kicked it, testing its height, and gently lowered himself onto it, the springs of the pull-out bed breaking through the night. “What has you up?”

Jon just shrugged again. The bed creaked beside him, and he felt calloused fingers carding through his hair with gentleness that would have been surprising to most people. 

“Am I a bad boyfriend?” Jon asked, surprising himself. He hadn’t even known he was thinking that. 

“Did Blackwood tell you that you were?” Daisy asked sharply. 

“No! No, not at all.” Jon sighed. “I just...I just have different needs than him.” He could already tell what Daisy was thinking, and he shook his head. “Not about the - the you know what thing. I just...I know how much he loves me. I know what he thinks of me, I know his dedication to me. Sometimes I just assume that he’s - capable, of what I’m capable of. Do I not tell him I love him enough? Am I not affectionate enough?”

“You aren’t as perceptive as you think you are, Jon,” Daisy said, amused. “I think you’ll find that Blackwood has quite a few more secrets than you think he does.” She untangled her fingers from his hair and squeezed his arm. “Blackwood’s insecure. All insecure people want mindreader boyfriends. But you force him to use his words and ask for what he needs, Jon. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s good for him. He needs to learn to speak up for himself.” She hummed slightly. “He reminds me of Basira, a little. She’ll never tell you that you bothered her, and she just lets it pile up and up. But then you go just a little too far, and then she explodes all of that pent up anger and frustration on you. She likes to pretend she’s a real robot, but she’s just as human as the rest of them.”

“I’m so terrified of Basira,” Jon said miserably. “Remember when I dropped a plate and she told me that the reason why my gran didn’t love me was because I was an attention seeking nine year old?”

“She’s so mean. I love her so much.” Daisy patted Jon on the back. “Buck up. I’m working on Blackwood. You focus on enjoying your vacation.”

Jon let himself lean to the side, resting his head on Daisy’s shoulder. “I’m worried that Martin will realize that I’m not capable of expressing romantic affection in a socially typical manner and leave me.”

“God, shut up, whiner.” But the bed creaked and Daisy’s head gently slid out from under his shoulder, and Daisy gently helped Jon to his feet. “I’ll get you back to bed. Bitch about your imaginary relationship problems to me in the morning.”

Translated: I love you, I’ll always be here for you, and goodnight. Jon huffed a quiet laugh. “Aren’t the lights off? How can you see anything?”

When Daisy spoke again, a quiet bass growl echoed underneath her words, and Jon grinned with her. He Knew, like how he Knew that he loved Martin enough to destroy the world, that Daisy’s eyes were flickering yellow in the darkness. “Don’t be fooled by appearances, Jon.”

She helped him back to bed, and when Jon slept through the rest of the night he dreamed of nothing but Martin’s weight on his. 

****

“What a beautiful morning!” Martin said loudly. “The birds are chirping, the Scottish highlands are beautiful, I am here on my romantic vacation away from everybody with only my lovely boyfriend for company - and Daisy Tonner!”

“Glad to be here,” Daisy said affably. 

“This is so much fun!” Martin said, still loudly.

“I think so too!” Jon said enthusiastically.

Tiresias barked. 

After a breakfast pointedly prepared by Martin, they all got dressed and saddled up to go walk into the village. It was a quick walk, only about twenty minutes, and Martin and Daisy enjoyed the scenery as Jon enjoyed the warm grip of Martin’s hand in his and the breeze on his face. 

When the trail began sloping further downhill, and their footsteps began to slide against the incline, Jon pulled what Gerry would have called a ‘pro-gamer move’ and moved his grip up until he was clinging to Martin’s arm. Martin sprayed a hand out, resting it against Jon’s back, and helped him down the trail. 

“Whoah! You alright, honey? Careful of your step!”

“Jesus christ,” Daisy muttered. 

“It’s hardly Jon’s fault -” Martin began heatedly. 

“Yeah, Daisy,” Jon said, delighting in setting them against each other like the cold, uncaring god he was, “check your privilege.”

Then they were off, because despite Daisy was allergic to social consciousness, and Jon whistled a jaunty tune, composed in the 15th century and unknown to all but its lonely shepherd creator, as they navigated their way downwards. 

The village was small, nothing more than two streets with cheerful wooden facades and swing porches set out on the decks with wizened elderly people sipping from bottles of Irn Bru and smoking down cigarettes to the dregs. At least, as narrated by Martin, who seemed to already be mentally writing his small-town murder mystery in the Scottish highlands (Martin’s poetry needed work, but his fiction held a certain massmarket appeal). Knowing Martin, the protaganist would likely be either a grandmother with his own personality, or a thirtysomething gay man who had twelve counts of arson on his record and was running from the cops. 

Wait. Wait, Jon should use his words. Ask instead of look. Display interest in Martin’s inner life - which, granted, seemed to be a waste of time when Jon could just Know and not waste his breath, but Georgie had been coaching him in this. 

“You should give the ex-con narrator a boyfriend,” Jon said supportively. “Maybe bring back the gay bar owner from the last book?”

Martin almost tripped over the gravel. “How did you know I was thinking of - Jon, I told you not to read my mind!”

“Lay off, you know he doesn’t do it on purpose,” Daisy said uninterestedly, growling at what Jon guessed were passerby on the street. 

“Daisy, stop telling me how to talk to my boyfriend -”

“Oh, he’s your boyfriend now, is he?”

“Yes! Yes, he is!”

“Let’s get some ice cream!” Jon said loudly. 

“How did you even know there was an ice cream - fine! Fine, of course!” Martin sighed loudly. “Why not!”

As it turned out, they were right in front of ice cream. Jon loved it when things worked out. 

****

Twenty minutes later, after Martin laboriously reading out all of the entirely too many flavors to Jon, Daisy growling at everybody at the store like an errant dog, fighting with the owner of the store extremely politely about his actual dog existing, and finally taking their ice cream outside to sit at a picnic bench and attack their waffle cones, Jon felt content. 

He indicated this by telling everybody everything he knew about emulsifiers, which were extremely neat and a lot of fun! Because nobody was stopping him talking by saying ‘let’s talk about something else, Jon’ or ‘isn’t that a bit boring, Jon?’ he moved onto the history of waffle cones, safe in his assumption that everybody was as interested in the topic as he was. 

“I love you so much,” Martin said, somewhat dazed, when Jon stopped to draw a breath. “Did you know that this is the second time this has happened?”

That stopped Jon short, when nothing else did. “Really? Has it?”

Martin’s spoon scraped his small paper bowl. “Yep. Uh - for my birthday, I think. Me, Tim, and - and Sasha, and you. You ordered rum raisin. I was thinking...did you actually like rum raisin? Or did you just panic?” He laughed, somewhat self-consciously. “You didn’t remember about it even before the whole apocalypse thing, so no sweat, but…”

“Oh.” Jon realized, for probably the fifth time, that Martin held years and years worth of memories in him, and that Jon had only fragments and impressions. He knew that he had everything important, that everything he needed was within him, but - did he? What if he was missing the key to everything, the key to Martin, and all he needed was to just Look deeper? “That’s - I could remember it, if I wanted.”

“It’s fine, Jon,” Daisy said quietly. “Don’t go giving yourself a migraine.”

“I could,” Jon insisted. “I’d like to remember something like your birthday, Martin. Precious memories, or - or something. Give me a moment, I can send a quick prayer, and -”

“You know,” Martin said, and he squeezed Jon’s hand. “I’d rather make new memories right now. Where we are right now, that’s - that’s the most important place, innit?”

Jon smiled at him, and he knew, in the most mundane of ways, Martin was smiling back. “I like to think so too.”

“Ugh,” Daisy teased, although perhaps to an outsider it may have sounded mean, “get that sappy shit outta my face.”

“You’re just as bad with Basira,” Jon shot back, smiling. “You two are in love -”

“Take that shit back,” Daisy hissed. 

“You want to get married -”

“Who told you!”

Jon tapped the lens of his glasses smugly. “A little Eye told me.”

“Beholding cuck.”

“No, that’s Peter -”

“Martin would know all about Peter, huh?” Daisy sneered, and the pressure on Jon’s hand intensified for a brief second before it withdrew completely, leaving his hand cold and empty.

“Jon, can you give me and Daisy a few minutes of privacy, please?” Martin said pleasantly. 

Jon raised an eyebrow, licking the ice cream dripping down his hand. It was Vast flavor. Tasted like...ozone. “Why?”

“He doesn’t know the area, you can’t send him off alone,” Daisy shot back, strangely smugly. “Come on, Blackwood. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it in front of him.”

“You know what, fine. Fine!” Martin thumped the table, making Jon start and Tireasias stiffen. “I have done nothing that warrants this kind of treatment from you. You are disrespecting me, disrespecting my relationship, and you are insulting my fucking intelligence. I appreciate you loaning us your cabin, but if I knew that it would come with strings attached then I would have paid for my own bloody hotel! Why are you doing this!”

“Tim gave me fifty quid,” Daisy said, like the wolf that had caught the canary. “Plus it’s fucking funny.”

“Done what?” Jon asked, confused. 

“I want you out of my vacation, Daisy,” Martin hissed. “If you won’t leave the cabin, then I am booking my own Air BnB and that’s fucking final! I don’t care if I have to - to fight you in the street about it, I can and I will, you don’t want to mess with me -”

“Sure.”

Martin stopped short. Jon licked his ice cream, fascinated by the drama. “What?”

“I said sure,” Daisy enunciated clearly. “I was waiting for you to fucking say it. I told Basira I’d be home by tonight, anyway. Knew you’d snap.”

“I - what! What! What?!”

“You’re a pushover, Blackwood,” Daisy said. “Your coworkers, your friends, everyone - they just walk all over you. It’s fucking stupid. You are the archival assistant who survived the apocalypse with memories and sanity intact. You lasted longer on the position than anyone since Emma Harvey, and you didn’t have to lose your soul to do it. You looked Elias in the face as you burned his Archives down. You’re not a pussy. And I was sick of seeing you act like one. It’s fucking annoying.”

“I hate you so fucking much,” Martin whispered, somewhat in shock. 

“Well, I hate seeing my best friend date a passive aggressive loser, so we’re both unhappy.” Daisy stood up, feet shuffling against the cement, and Jon felt her press a kiss against his forehead. “You two have a nice day out. I’m going to go hunt things, and head back to London. Take care of yourself, Jon. And cut out the PDA, it’s gross.”

Suddenly, violently, with a crushing realization, the entire vacation was recontextualized. 

“I don’t appreciate any of this,” Jon said crossly, scowling in her direction. “Honestly, Daisy, you don’t -”

“Blame Tim. Love you, Jon. Love you, sweet puppy. See you later, Blackwood.”

Jon and Martin sat in silence as the sound of footsteps receded from Jon’s hearing, and the low murmur of the small village set in around them. Martin still seemed to slightly be in shock, his ice cream slowly melting, and Tiresias yawned sleepily in the sun. 

“I hate her so fucking much,” Martin whispered. 

But Jon just smiled, and reached out to brush a thumb over Martin’s close-cropped hair. He leaned in, whispering into Martin’s ear. “Hearing you yell at the scariest woman I know who isn’t Gertrude Robinson was pretty fucking sexy, love.”

“I hate her so - wait, it was? Really?” Martin coughed awkwardly. “Well, she really had it coming, and it’s not a huge deal, and I know she’s your best friend and I should be nice to her, but -”

“ - but she was right,” Jon said firmly. “An arse about making her point, but she was right. I’m working on using my words. You should too. All of the books say communication is key in a relationship. So let’s communicate, alright?” He faltered a little, uncertain if Daisy would want him to say this. “And - and it was obvious, from what she said, that Daisy respects you. It’s a very difficult thing, to win Daisy’s respect. I think she was trying to help us, in her own - unorthodox manner.”

“I hate her so much,” Martin groaned. 

“It was very sexy,” Jon hinted. 

Martin leaned in and kissed Jon lightly, and Jon could feel his smile against his own. “How about we finish our food,” he said quietly, “walk around town for a bit, buy some souvenirs for your family, and then go back to the cabin and snog and cuddle for a very long time? If that’s okay with you?”

“I’d like nothing more,” Jon said. 

And he was right. It was messy, and weird, and painfully uncomfortable.

 It was perfect.

[harrystuff]

Alive - Harry Styles AU

In which Harry has it all in life but he can’t find a meaning for life.

Warnings: slight use of drugs and alcohol.

///

Harry has no reason to complain, he honestly thought so himself. He got a beautiful and supportive girlfriend, group of good and close friends, successful parents and without being too narcissistic he was quite sure he looked better than the average twenty year old, but still somehow something was missing in his life.

For a while he couldn’t put his finger on it, he kept searching for a meaning, for a purpose to wake up in the morning, and he felt like such an ungrateful son of a bitch for not being satisfied with what he’s got.

Well he wouldn’t exactly describe it as ungrateful, because he is feeling blessed every morning to wake up to this world he got and to the people that surrounds him, but Harry doesn’t settle for feeling blessed, he wishes to feel alive.

Y/N was pretty much the opposite from Harry but at the same time all alike him, maybe that’s why Harry liked her so much.

She didn’t got it all figured out, she never were in a serious relationship so the concept of love to her is only something she loves to read about, she only got two friends which one of them is Harry so she doesn’t really know if that counts, and her parents are supporting but quite disappointed at what they and her brother like to call “the edgy-trying to find my place in the world act”, but Y/N wasn’t acting, she just truly tries to understand the meaning of life for her.

It was only days ago she and Harry were sitting at the balcony of his old fashioned London flat and talking about those deep thoughts while sharing a bottle of red wine,

“I don’t want to sound like an ass, but I feel like I’m bigger than this shit” Harry spoke truthfully, Y/N was the only person who he felt safe enough to talk like this, she was his blanket, hugging him every time he felt cold and he really wished he could carry her anywhere.

“Always had a feeling you’re big H but it’s inappropriate” Y/N said with a smirk on her face locking eyes with Harry and he immediately laughed at her stupid mind,

“Oh so you’ve thought about my size before huh?” Harry really wanted to keep it serious but he couldn’t do so and flashed Y/N with his captivating dimples.

“But now seriously, I’m learning Econ because my parents insisted so damn much that one day I will be the CEO of my dad’s company but that’s not me Y/N, I want to travel the world, I want to see art, I want to explore” Harry talked with passion in his eyes, only Y/N knew this stuff about him and she is the only one who notices the shine in his eyes when he does or talks about something he truly loves, that made her feel special to him. and the thought of Y/N being special to Harry made her feel all warm inside,despite the fact that they were sitting on a balcony on a London’s cold autumn night.

“You should wake up in the morning and feel alive, and if Econ doesn’t make you feel alive, then fuck Econ” Y/N said so simply, Harry almost believed her that it was that easy to her, but then he remembered that Y/N didn’t got that figured out herself as well, and instead of feeling comforted by that he felt kind of sad, turns out he just really wanted Y/N to feel alive herself.

It was three days ago, maybe two, Harry can’t quite tell, his mind been working nonstop ever since.

He tries to look back, he honestly tries to figure out the moments that made him feel most alive and that made him remember the first day he met Y/N.

Y/N wasn’t sure what she saw was real, I mean she must be delusional right?

The notorious Harry Styles sitting in the university library reading “The Great Gatsby”, that can’t be true.

So Y/N decided to approach him, moving her feet against the dark wooden floor slowly until she reaches to the corner of his desk.

“Yes?” Harry raised his head from the book he got lost in, pretty annoyed that someone interrupted him.

Y/N realized she probably looked stupid standing there and staring at him.

“Are you reading “The Great Gatsby” ?” She asked and felt even dumber after that, of course he does it’s says so on the cover!, she thought to herself.

“Reading this for the hundredth time probably” Harry muttered to the girl he doesn’t know, and with that Y/N gives herself an invitation, so she sat on the wooden chair, hearing it squeak against the wooden floor and stars rambling.

“Well Harry Styles you and I have more in common then i thought” she started talking but Harry cuts her, not understanding who is this odd, random girl who suddenly started talking to him,

“Who are you?” Y/N saw Harry’s eyebrows lifting up and his whole face changed an expression from how confused he has been, and again she felt silly,

“Oh sorry, I’m Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a literature major”

They talked for hours, about one book and the other, and suddenly Harry caught himself opening up to this girl he just met at the library. Sharing his dreams, passions , hopes and disappointments. Y/N was everything he wished to be, she was free while he was locked down, but he was kind of sure she was the key to his prison.

“I’m starving let’s get something to eat” Y/N moaned while she felt her stomach becoming one with her back, and Harry was craving something to eat as well so he really couldn’t say no.

As soon as they opened the door to the small delicatessen, the wonderful smell reached their noses, it was so good their mouths were starting to water.

A sound of moan was leaving Y/N’s mouth once again.

“I swear to god I can eat this whole place”, Y/N said and Harry laughs at her words.

“choose whatever you like love” Y/N’s body felt warm with the pet name Harry gave her she could definitely get used to it, but for now she was ready to eat all of the delicious pastries in front of her. In the meanwhile Harry looked at Y/N’s face and smiled at her sight, she looked like a little girl at a candy shop and he adores it.

“Allow me to pay” he said as they reached the cashier, “oh you’re so formal Mr. Styles” Y/N says with a little bit of flirtation, she already likes messing with him.

“C’mon I’m serious” he smiled at her, the name Mr. styles sounded nice coming out of her lips.

“Didn’t you understand already that I hate all these social norms” Harry knew that, even after knowing her for a few hours, but it wasn’t like that, he just truly thought he owned her for sharing with him her beautiful soul.

Y/N was determined so eventually Harry gave up and let her pay her half.

Y/N convinced him to take their ‘lunch’ to the park, she told him that it would be so nice to eat on the grass with the fresh air, but she soon learned she was wrong.

It wasn’t a day to go to the park and Harry knew that, but Y/N was so insistent and at this point Harry realized that he can’t say no to her.

The sky were gray and clouds were everywhere,

“Y/N I think it’s going to rain” Harry told her while they lied on the grass after they finished eating,

“Stop worrying it will be fine” she said peacefully and continued to talk to him about every little thing that pops in her mind.

Harry thinks Y/N has the most amazing mind a person could probably have, she thought about everything so deeply, she expressed humans feelings and desires in the most beautiful way possible, she excepted people who were different from her even if she couldn’t understand them. To Harry Y/N was an angel in the shape of a human.

Small drops of rain cut Y/N’s and Harry’s thoughts,

“Okay you might be right” Y/N sat and laughed a bit while Harry told her “you think so?”. And before they know it the small drops went to a fully hard rain that got them running for a shelter without any umbrellas.

Harry will never forget this day, when he met Y/N he felt so complete.

He wasn’t certain what was it about Y/N that made him feel this way, but he adored her for it.

The memories of their moments won’t stop, since Harry now remembering a funny day the two of them had.

Once again they were sitting on Harry’s balcony, it was probably their favorite place.

Y/N was passing Harry the joint she just smoked from, and Harry gladly took it from her delicate fingers.

He inhaled the weeds mixed with tobacco, feeling it fills his lungs, and exhale the smoke.

“It’s nice, smoking with you” Y/N looked at Harry with a smile on her face. She truly loved seeing him like this, all she ever wished was for him to be relaxed and free, and on a rare occasions like this one, he might actually be calm.

“Why’s that?” Harry’s face turns to her, returning a smile back to her face.

“It’s just nice seeing you free, I wish you could be like that all the time” Harry glanced at the way Y/N looked at him and he noticed something in her eyes. He decided to ignore that, she just cares for him since he’s her friend, there is no need to make this a big of a deal.

“Well I really wish that too, but I guess I only feel this free with you” Harry truly meant this, and he knew Y/N wouldn’t judge him for saying that, she understood him deeper than he understands himself. But when he started to hear Y/N’s lovely laugh, his heart almost fell to his pants.

“What are you laughing at?” He looks at her with frightened look, terrified from her answer.

“It sounds like a rhyme” Y/N says while laughing and Harry’s heart went back to beating normal. As much as normal as it could be around Y/N.

After they finished their smoke Y/N insisted on shopping, but Harry really didn’t thought it was a good idea.

“Y/N we’re stoned” Harry looked at her while laughing, he really couldn’t help himself, she was giving him the pappy eyes.

“C’monnnn” Y/N dragged the ‘n’ laughing along with Harry, ״it will be so much fun H”

Y/N looks at him like a little girl who hates not getting what she wants, and in fact she probably was.

Before he knew it Harry was with Y/N in Some vintage store trying funny hats and getting nasty glances from people, but he didn’t mind it, because he was with Y/N laughing like there is no tomorrow, and he couldn’t be happier.

“You have to get this!” Y/N jumped laughing at the sight in front of her, Harry was wearing a fur Russian hat and Y/N looked like at him this is the most amusing thing she ever saw.

“I’ll buy this for you on Christmas” he smirked at her silly face, but then a buzz on his pocket interrupted him and he is pulled out his phone from his pocket to be received with the name of his girlfriend on his lock screen.

“Hey” Harry answered the call, part of him was disappointed that she interrupted his time with Y/N, but he couldn’t feel this way it’s not how it’s supposed to be.

“Baby where are you? We need to go to Nicole’s birthday, don’t tell me you forgot” he heard the voice of his lovely girlfriend but still thinking it’s not as lovely as Y/N’s.

What was wrong with him?

He was having such a great time with Y/N he forgot about making plans with his girlfriend, that makes him feel like an asshole, especially because he would rather stay with Y/N than being with his girlfriend right now.

“I’m on my way” he tells her and ends the call.

//

It was a week later that Harry kissed Y/N.

He couldn’t explain the desire that burned inside of him. He never felt that way before, he felt wild and free along with lost and pathetic.

Y/N’s lips felt like reading a new book, exciting yet familiar.

In the few moments he had before she pushed him from her body he exploded as much as he could. With his tongue he tasted the bitterness from the beer she just drank, and even like that she was sweeter than anything he ever known.

With his hands he learned the angles of her body, he learned her shape and he wished he could dedicate his entire life to study her.

She was everything and nothing to him all along.

Y/N would lie if she told herself she didn’t enjoy from this moment.

Harry’s lips on her felt like just another one of her daydreams. She could feel he waited for this moment, he was burning with passion for her that could’ve came out roughly but he made sure it was gentle enough so she could notice his feelings while their lips moved.

As much as she like to continue this pleasure she knew better than that, and so does Harry he just was intoxicated with her lips so he didn’t realized.

“H” Y/N mumbled through the kiss, pushing Harry from her own figure so she could look into his eyes.

“You have a girlfriend”

Harry didn’t expect that this will be the words that will come out from Y/N’s mouth. If anything he expected her to tell him this is weird, wrong, that he is her best friend and she never looked at him this way.

So you can only imagine his surprise when he found out that Y/N wasn’t concerned about the fact that his lips were on hers, he dared to think she might even like it and that thought sent Harry to the moon.

Harry knew it was wrong kissing her while he has a girlfriend, but it is the more real and right thing he ever felt his his life, and as much as the guilt knocks on his door, the passion won’t let it in.

“I’ll worry about it’s tomorrow, tonight I just want to feel alive”

And with these words Harry lips were once again on Y/N’s, only this time she didn’t push him away.

[purplesurveys]

1031

Do you usually take blame or blame others? Depends on the context, I guess? When things go wrong on a very deep and personal level between me and people I deeply care for, I usually try to find reasons to blame myself. But if it’s something superficial, like if someone messes up at work through no fault of my own, then I’m able to point my finger to whoever fucked up.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s in another state? I’ve been to McDonald’s in different provinces and also  in different countries. The McDonald’s we went to in Baguio was so surreal because we discovered that they were still using styrofoam containers that they had already phased out years ago everywhere else, and they also never changed the original spaghetti and chicken recipes I grew up with. It was such a blast from the past. As for other countries, I’ve tried out the McDonald’s in Malaysia, Indonesia, and China and made sure to order items that we didn’t have back home.

Have you ever seen 50 First Dates? Yeah, it’s one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It’s such a cheesy movie, but idk the concept is unique and the supporting characters made the whole movie enjoyable for me.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish? The fishy smell at the market can be pretty strong and bleck, but generally I don’t mind the smell of fish. I live in an archipelago, man. We live and breathe seafood. Idk anyone in real life who doesn’t like fish.

Have you ever been to Sea World? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss? I don’t think so, no.

Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? Yeah, but the only one I’ve gotten to read in full was The Fault In Our Stars. I also got to start on The Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, but because I only borrowed those copies from friends I never got to read either until the end. All were okay, but I don’t find John Green’s writing to be as great as it was once hyped up to be.

If so, which one is your favorite? I guess TFIOS, since that’s the only one I got to read through to the end.

Are you a protective person? With my loved ones and pets, yes.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Yeah I’ve felt a lot but fortunately it’s never been a severe one. Just super brief earthquakes where the most that happened to me was a little swaying.

Would you rather go to a beach or city for a vacation? I love beaches, but a change in scenery would also be nice because I already go to beaches for vacations fairly often. City.

Does your license plate number contain the number 8? I never actually memorized my plate number LOOOOOOL I think so? It’s either a 6 or 8.

Were you ever a ghost on Halloween? Nope.

Has someone ever held the door open for you? Yeah, security guards tend to do that for customers/guests. Sometimes, nice strangers that I enter a place with will do it for me too.

Are you a fan of penguins? I think fan is pushing it far lol. I like penguins, but I’m not obsessed.

Have you ever stayed up all night on a school night? Just a handful of times, and it was always as part of a groupwork. I’d never willingly go through an all-nighter for myself.

What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos or Pringles. We also have a local brand that makes these deeeeeelicious salted egg chips, but I’ve never actually taken note of what the brand is.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Not to me. But a lot of people have sung around me.

Are you a good painter? No. That’s why I opt for paint-by-number kits, because those come with a guide haha. I can’t actually craft images by myself – that skill belongs to my sister who has an insane talent for painting.

Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never bought a car by myself; my dad takes care of the car purchases. I know he test-drove the Vitara, but idk about the other cars we have.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Hmm, I don’t write poems. I don’t find the vast majority of them appealing, and only once in a while will there be a poem that is able to speak to me.

Do you like pineapple? Nope.

Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite.

Do you look more like your mom or dad? Most comments point to my mom, but I’ll get the occasional remark that half of my face is my dad’s as well. I’m a good mix of both.

Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? This hasn’t happened before.

When was the last time someone called you babe or baby? Maybe August? I’m not too sure. It’s been a few months.

Do you have an older brother? No. But I’m super close with my eldest cousin on my mom’s side and we grew up together and all that, and I pretty much consider him my older brother. He’s definitely more a brother than a cousin to me, and it has always felt and been that way.

Are you a fan of art? Yes, especially paintings and dioramas.

Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? My mom’s, I think? I really don’t know, I’m bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. You’d have to ask people who actually see me on a daily basis.

Have you ever seen the movie My Girl? Is this the one with the really sad scene of a boy’s funeral and the girl’s like, “He can’t see without his glasses”? I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about that scene a million times.

Do you watch Teen Wolf on MTV? Ugh, MTV’s teen shows are such a cringefest to me. I never followed it, but I’ve had to watch a few eps back in high school when my friends would watch it while we were at someone’s place. Not my cup of tea.

When it was on, did you watch Cory In The House on Disney? I watched a few episodes, especially when it was still new. But we were also in the process of moving then and we didn’t have cable for a few years in our new house, so I had to miss out most of it.

Do you have any blackheads? I don’t.

Do you have any freckles? Nope.

Do you have a movie that you have to watch during the summer every year? No, but I have something similar. I like watching Love Actually at least once every year, during the Christmas season. I like watching Two for The Road once a year as well, regardless of the time of year.

Do you think that life isn’t fair sometimes? I mean yeah. It doesn’t revolve around me, so I know it won’t always be fair.

When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Valentine’s Day last year.

What was the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Haven’t touched it since September, though.

How many books do you plan to read this summer? It’s past summer, and I haven’t been doing a lot of reading in general.

Does your house have a dishwasher? No, not a common appliance here.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do. But I haven’t seen people outside of family for so long that I can barely remember who has which tattoos. I’m pretty sure I know someone who has flowers.

Do you like the name Carter? It just reminds me of the underwear brand honestly, so not a fan.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No. Should there be one, they shouldn’t be having high hopes; I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in? There’s English, Filipino, Korean, Spanish, German, French, Japanese – 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Disagree for the most part, but 50 First Dates is cute.

--

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yups. I wore sneakers when I went out to get Starbucks last Friday evening.

How much money did you spend yesterday? The charging cable that I ordered arrived yesterday, so I had to shell out ₱140 for that.

What genre is your favorite movie? It’s a romcom/drama. My other favorite is a drama.

Are you texting anybody right now? Nope. I’m all alone today, which is the way I want to be for this weekend.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My parents.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? I really do, hahaha. I don’t know why the people at the LTO gave me a pass, but I had been allowed to smile with my teeth. That helped make my license photo turn out super well and I no longer feel embarrassed whenever I have to take it out and present it somewhere.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Potato Corner fries. Can’t be any other type of fries.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? July or August when this random guy slid into my PMs. I had never had so much fun blocking somebody so fast.

Was the last person you met a male or female? The last new person I met was male.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Angela or Andi.

Do you own a map of the world? I mean, I guess. I have a collection of the World Almanac for Kids books, and it had always included a world map in its Countries chapter every year.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? No, doesn’t have to be as it’s bright out and I can see the sun from my window.

Who did you last spoon with? Gabie.

Are you currently watching TV? No.

Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Never. Hope I’ll never be needing one.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? I have a tank top with cheetah print that I sometimes wear at home.

Does your family eat dinner together? Yes, every evening. We don’t eat together when my dad is working abroad, but since he has stayed home for all of 2020 because of Covid, we’ve gotten to eat together as a family all year.

Where do you work? Somewhere in Metro Manila; I’m not giving the city away.

Are you in high school? I got out of there nearly five years ago.

Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but not anymore.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone and laptop both are.

What was the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8.

--

Are you hungry?: I can def go for a snack, or maybe even a full meal. It’s taking everything in me not to order Popeye’s or Army Navy from Grab rn.

What color is the chair you’re sitting on?: I’m sitting up in bed; my sheets are blue with gold/yellow prints.

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: I got bottled coffee when I went to 7-Eleven a week ago.

Do you like salsa that has fruit in it?: ...Don’t all types of salsa have fruit in them though? It would be brand-new knowledge to me if I was told not all salsas have fruit.

Have you ever opened up your computer to clean the fan on the inside?: No. I’d rather have professionals do that.

Can you count in binary?: No, and I never even understood how it works.

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: No. Mostly because it reminds me of cathedrals.

Are you a chocoholic?: Nah. I like chocolate, but I can live without it.

Are you scared of snakes?: I mean if they were venomous or obviously wanted to eat me whole, of course. But I’ve also already held a couple of snakes before.

Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?: No.

Do you like hard or soft pretzels better?: Soft all the way. I find the hard ones too salty.

What was the last magazine or catalog you looked through?: I don’t even remember. Maybe Tatler? My grandma has loads of those at her house.

When was the last time you wore a raincoat?: I don’t think I have ever worn a raincoat.

Have you ever been carded when buying something?: Idk what that is but nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened to me whenever I’ve made a purchase, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no.

Do you eat meat?: Yep.

Corn and mashed potatoes, or beans and rice?: Both pairings aren’t really a part of our cuisine, so neither sound appealing to be honest. As someone who thrives on rice, I hate the idea of eating beans with it; so I would go with corn and mashed potatoes even though I’m having a hard time imagining how it would work.

Can you sleep with the light on?: I probably can, but it would take me a lot longer to fall asleep.

What’s your operating system of choice?: Mac/iOS.

Have you ever broken a bone?: Never.

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: I don’t have a favorite color to use, but I prefer pastel shades in general over neon.

Do you have a flashlight?: My phone has a built-in flashlight, but we also keep a couple of emergency flashlights at home in case of blackouts.

Do you like watermelon?: I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like candies, but I’m not fond of the fruit.

…Honeydew?: Hahahahahaha. BoJack Horseman, anyone? Anyway, I’ve never had honeydew and probably wouldn’t like it considering my established opinion on fruits.

Can you shoot a gun?: I’ve never tried, so I’ll say no. I’ve always been meaning to go to a shooting range though; I feel like it’ll be such a cool experience.

Do you like salad?: Not for the most part. The only kind I enjoy is spicy tuna salad, which only has lettuce in it alongside tuna sashimi and spicy mayonnaise.

When was the last time you smashed your finger?: I don’t know if I ever have? This doesn’t ring a bell to me.

What color is your computer?: Silver/gray.

Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class?: No, my chemistry classes in high school and college were never that fun.

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: Sure.

What color hair do you have?: Black.

Do you use the microwave often?: I wouldn’t say so; just a couple of times a month.

Are you good at spelling?: Sure, I’d claim that. Thank the movie Akeelah and the Bee; that movie made me super passionate about spelling and dictionaries for a time. I can still feel its effects today because I’m still very much particular about spelling more so than any other kind of writing/language mechanic.

Have you ever petted a donkey?: I’ve never even seen one before :o but I’d love to have the chance to pet one, heh. It would make me so happy.

When was the last time you went to the doctor’s for a physical?: 2016.

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: Sure.

Have you ever painted a room? Never have, but would like to give it a try.

[melonkooky]

stolen hearts [kim taehyung]

requested

word count: 2236

genre: mainly fluff with some sprinkles of angst (w/ a side of extreme cliche and cheese)

author’s note: prompts: 17. “are you hurt?” 30. “it’s two a.m., why are you next to me?” were used.

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

it didn’t take long for you and taehyung to become friends. in fact, it practically happened in a heartbeat. it was your second year of high school - sophomore year - when you and taehyung encountered each other. you were running down the sidewalk on your first day because a few of your friends were teasing you about something, you don’t remember. you just remembered them laughing while some tried to chase you.

in that moment, while you were running around the school grounds, you rounded a corner and boom! you collided with a strong, broad chested student, causing both you and him to fall onto the grass. unfortunately, he fell on top of you. you wheezed slightly from the impact. the student who had fallen on top of you realized what had happened and immediately scrambled to get off of you. he sounded so polite, like a gentleman. “oh my god! i’m sorry i didn’t see you coming!”

you heard your friends giggle quietly nearby but you were focused on the boy in front of you. he helped you off your back, gently patting grass off of your clothes, although now your body ached from the collision. you sighed and waited for your breathing to return to normal. “it’s fine. i probably shouldn’t been more careful.”

the boy looked at you with concern. “are you hurt?” he asked with genuine emotion.

you spaced out slightly when you finally got to look at who you had tumbled into. it was kim taehyung. you knew him from a few of your classes as well as seeing him hang out with a popular friend group at school. you immediately shook your head. “no, no. i’m okay. are you okay?”

taehyung smiled, nodding his head. “yeah. you’re y/n, right?”

you nodded proudly. “taehyung.”

taehyung replied with a grin on his face. he was known for his killer smile, his extreme attractiveness, his kind heart. you see, that same day, not only did you develop a tight friendship with kim taehyung, you also developed a crush on him.

now, here you were, senior year, still single and ready to mingle. not that you hated being single. it was the fact that you were still in love with your best friend years later. you didn’t think the crush would last that long. but it didn’t help that you saw him everyday, and was always around him. it was like a magnet; every time you tried to pull away from him, or at least try to get rid of your crush on him, only being closer to him made it harder and stronger. you learned to deal with it. perhaps it is what explained your closeness to taehyung.

things were getting harder for you though. during the past week, the signs of love began to increase. normally you would be fine when taehyung was around you. you would be casual and relaxed, like a normal person would be around their friend. but you noticed now that your heart would beat faster, your face would feel hot, and you began to feel nervous. you never felt nervous around taehyung. he’s taehyung. you could only think that the reason for the new feelings was because you couldn’t stop thinking about your crush on kim taehyung. that was the only explanation.

you sighed, pouting slightly, as you stared at the blank document on your laptop screen. you had a essay to write, but you obviously got distracted. while trying to get yourself to at least type the introduction paragraph, you noticed the library chair next to you get pulled out. you looked up to see taehyung with two drinks in his hands, sliding into the chair next to you. you smiled as he handed you the drink. “any luck?” he asked, gesturing to the computer as he opened his drink.

you shook your head. “i got distracted.”

taehyung took a drink, before looking at you with a confused, and slightly worried, expression. “you’ve been getting distracted a lot more than usual recently.”

you looked away from taehyung, straightening your posture and placing your hands on the keyboard. “have i?” you asked, laughing a bit.

taehyung nodded. “yeah. don’t you remember? a few days ago we went to the convenience store together and i asked if you could get me some chips while i got drinks. i came back to find you staring at a bag of chips. you didn’t seem to know what you were doing.”

you sighed, remembering that moment. you were imagining you and taehyung going to the convenience store as a couple, getting snacks for each other. sure, you and him were already there together. the only part that was missing was the couple part.

“is there anything you want to tell me, y/n?” taehyung asked, turning his body to face you. “you can tell me.”

you looked at him and smiled. “it’s nothing, tae.” he stared at you, knowing fully well that it was not nothing. but you didn’t seem to want to talk about. taehyung respected your decision, and dropped the subject. “alright, then, did you choose to argue with or against the topic?” he asked, changing the subject.

you looked down at your notes next to your computer. “against.”

----

you sighed tiredly as you shut down your laptop and closed it, before resting your arms over the top and laying your head down. your eyes felt heavy. you had been staring at the computer for a few hours now. but it seemed that writing an essay was even harder than ever. not because,well it was an essay, but because your crush was next to you. your mind kept straying away, and it was making your frustrated.

“taehyung,” you called quietly.

taehyung leaned forward having sunken into the chair to get more comfortable. he looked at you. “hmm?”

you exhaled deeply, not believing that you were actually going to ask this question. “do you have a crush on anybody?”

taehyung narrowed his eyes, a lightly laugh coming out his mouth. “i mean, if i did, i would have told you.” he almost sounded offended.

you sighed and nodded. “y/n, seriously, are you okay?”

you weren’t. why were you letting yourself getting so upset over your crush on your best friend? was it that he didn't seem to like you that way? was it that he potentially liked someone else? you shook your head and began to pack up your things in a hurry. “y/n.” taehyung called again, becoming worried about you.

you shook your head. “i just have to get home. i’ve been here far too long than i was planning for.” it was an excuse, of course.

taehyung watched your, worry in his eyes. he was surprised at the way you suddenly were acting. you were fine earlier, or at least he thought. his mind immediately came to conclusions. perhaps you were tired and stressed, perhaps there’s something else on your mind. something that taehyung didn’t know. you always told him what you were feeling, no matter what the circumstance was. like a month ago, you ranted to him about some girl in her class who was always the overachiever and was the teacher’s pet. she had major attitude too. taehyung enjoyed that conversation. you had ranted for a solid ten minutes about everything a girl you didn’t like did. where was the you from a month ago?

taehyung remained in the library for five more minutes. he was still bothered by your behavior, but he tried not to think too much about it. he packed up his own things, although there was hardly anything to pack. he was only there to provide you company and emotional support. the essay you had to write was for a class he didn’t have. after, he left the library and headed home.

----

you arrived home hours ago. your parents were at work still, so the house was to yourself. you ate some dinner and took a nice shower. as night arrived, you climbed into your bed, your window slightly open since there was a light breeze outside. you closed your eyes, letting sleep take over your body.

you woke up to a cold breeze, sending goosebumps over your body. you sighed, turning over to close your window. only that’s when your realized that someone was laying next to you. you were about to scream when a hand covered your mouth, and a face appeared above you. it was kim taehyung. you immediately removed his hand, accidentally squeezing his wrist out of anger. “kim taehyung!” you whisper yelled. “it’s two a.m., why are you next to me?”

taehyung winced slightly at your iron grip on his wrist. “you left your window open, y/n. someone could have easily slipped into here and hurt you or rob you of your things.”

“oh, someone like you?”

taehyung smiled sheepishly. “i’m sorry.” he said quietly, placing his free hand on top of your hand (the hand that was about to snap his wrist).

you gently released his wrist, finding yourself not wanting to let go. his skin was soft and warm. you sat up in your bed, taehyung doing the same. “what are you going here anyway?” you asked your best friend.

“i just want to know what’s wrong? it bothers me to see you so distracted and stressed.”

you pursed your lips, feeling anxious. “i’m scared to tell you.” you admitted to taehyung.

taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed. “y/n, are we not best friends? how many secrets have you told me? how many times have you expressed your negative emotions to me? what makes this one so different?”

you were smiling fainting, your voice barely audible as you spoke this next words. “because taehyung, this time it’s about you.”

you averted your gaze to your bed sheets, before slowly meeting taehyung’s eyes. “what do you mean?” he asked. “have i done something wrong?”

you smiled, “you’ve only stolen my heart.” you replied. sure, it was cheesy, but it lightened the mood. you felt a bit better finally getting it out there, like a weight was being lifted off of your shoulders. you turned to look at your best friend. he was shocked, you could tell. his eyes were wide, his mouth was agape, he seemed frozen.

“taehyung?” you asked.

taehyung stared at you. “so, the reason why you’ve been so distracted recently...was because you are in love with me? i was the one that was causing your stress?”

you blushed, a smile creeping on your face. you nodded. the atmosphere wasn’t still or tense anymore. and your heart, it didn’t feel heavy. taehyung seemed to go into a crisis. “why didn’t you tell me anything before?” taehyung screeched.

your eyes widened and you hurried to cover taehyung’s mouth. “shhh!! you’re going to wake my parents up.”

you removed your hand, laughing a bit at taehyung’s reaction. at least he wasn’t mad about it, that you could accept. perhaps his feelings weren’t the same as yours, but at least you knew things weren’t going to change or be weird between you and taehyung. taehyung’s thoughts were a mess. little did you know, he had been feeling similar feelings recently. you had feelings for him for years, but just until recently, taehyung had developed feelings for you. he just didn’t know what to say or how to say it. he did a damn good job of hiding them.

you stared at taehyung. “y/n,” he began. “i love you.”

your eyes widened. “i swear if you’re messing with me just because i-”

suddenly, taehyung was cupping your cheeks and pulling your face closer to his. seconds later, you felt his lips press onto yours. your first thought was, oh my god, he’s kissing me. but then you wondered, he could probably feel how hot my cheeks are right now. you were immediately responding and kissing him back. you’ve have countless dreams of your and taehyung’s first kiss, but you never imagined it would happen like this. you dreamed cliche moments, like kissing in the rain. but no, your first kiss was with taehyung who had just climbed through your window unannounced, scaring you half to death.

you pulled away, staring straight into taehyung’s eyes. his hands remained on your cheeks, as if he didn’t want to let go. he grinned happily, his box-like grin growing wide. you smiled subconsciously.

suddenly though, he pulled away. “i should probably go.” he whispered shyly.

you shrugged, an innocent, though slightly mischievous look, written on your face. “i mean. if you want to. you’ve stayed the night countless times. i don’t think my parents would be mad if they saw you tomorrow morning.”

taehyung blushed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. he was just confident moments ago, being the one to initiate the kiss. and now, he was a shy boy. “alright, i guess i’ll just text my parents later.”

you smiled happily. “now close the window. it’s cold.”

taehyung closed the window before sliding under the covers with you. you and him laid next to each other, quite awkwardly as a matter of fact. but it wasn’t long before you began dozing off, and attaching yourself to your now boyfriend. he blushed, his arms carefully wrapped around you. soon after attaching himself to you (or more after you attached yourself to him), taehyung fell asleep.

[noona-clock]

Study: Admin B

In which we dig deeper under the surface of our favorite Noona-Clock Admins.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used in this post. I am not an astrologer nor am I a professional psychologist. These are my opinions based on the research I have done personally/as a hobby. If you disagree with any of these statements, please do so respectfully. Also, I totally understand if you do not read this. I know it’s going to be long because I have done a lot of research into my own personality. 🙄

-Admin B

Sun Sign: Aquarius (Air)

Aquarius is known to be really the most unique sign in the zodiac... which basically just translates to: Aquarians are a bunch of weirdos. Our sign is ruled by Uranus which is the planet of originality, so yeah. We’re big on individualism and being yourself and being different. So, we really are just a bunch of weirdos, but we know it. And we’re proud of it. I am definitely a weirdo, but I don’t see this as a bad thing at all. I have a wacky sense of humor, and I... am just weird! I’m not afraid to be myself and let my funny, quirky traits and habits shine through. I have a wide variety of interests which really aren’t connected to each other at all (KPOP, Star Trek, Disney, Makeup, romance novels, the British royal family, history, Harry Potter - all of which I love just about equally!). Aquarians, myself included, can also be kind of awkward and a little misunderstood at times because of this originality we value so much. That’s why it can be difficult for us to make friends sometimes. But we’re also just very choosy about who we let into our life! We know not everyone will accept us for who we are, even though Aquarians are pretty non-judgmental.

Another huge part of the Aquarius sign is the need to help people. Our symbol is the water bearer, and this signifies how we like to give things to people. We give our time, our compassion, our knowledge. We just want to better the world, and we have such huge, humanitarian hearts. I can definitely identify with this trait because I have always been extremely empathetic, and I do my best to help out anyone in any way I can. I always donate an extra two dollars at the store for homeless pets or food drives or children's’ hospitals. I rescue all my pets from shelters. I use cruelty-free makeup and skincare, and I try to buy as many of my clothes as I can secondhand to help the environment some. I know there’s so much more I could be doing, too!

Aquarians can also be really hard to break through to. I mentioned before it’s difficult for us to make friends sometimes, not only because we can be so weird and awkward but also because we have a tendency to be emotionally detached. We’re usually pretty reserved (I definitely am), and we strongly prefer not to show or talk about our emotions. We do not like confrontation, but we also tend to overthink a lot. So even though we might seem like we’re emotionally detached, there’s a lot going on in our heads. We love to analyze situations down to the bones, usually in an unhealthy way. But Aquarians are just huge thinkers in general. This aspect of the Aquarius sign definitely applies to me, as I have always had trouble expressing myself emotionally. I don’t easily say ‘I love you’ to people, though this mostly just applies in real life. I can express myself so much easier in writing because I have more time to sort out my thoughts!

Moon Sign: Cancer (Water)

WOO, GIRL. I’ve said before that having a water sign in your lunar placement is difficult, but like... having Cancer in your lunar placement? Oh, my. Cancer is the sign ruled by the Moon itself, so a water moon sign + the Moon moon sign = good luck to you. (and yes I’m now thinking of Moon Moon. Bless his heart.)

Cancers really have a bad reputation for being crybabies because we are so. dang. sensitive. Water signs are known for being the most emotional anyway, and I think Cancers might just be the most of the most emotional. They’re definitely the most sensitive, that’s for sure. And since the sign in your lunar placement defines your innermost, emotional self... Do you understand why having a Cancer moon sign is just a little tricky? Cancers make decisions with our emotions, and a lot of the time, we just have a ton of emotions. There’s basically just an emotional roller coaster going on in our heads at all times, so we can definitely come across as moody. I have always, always, always been extremely sensitive. I take things way too personally, and I let things affect me way more than they should. It really wasn’t until I learned about my Cancer moon sign that I accepted this is just who I am. I’ve always wanted to change how I react to certain situations, but I know now I just can’t. I feel things very deeply even though I don’t show it (thanks to my Aquarius emotional detachment), and while it gets annoying, it helps me connect with people.

Because Cancers are so sensitive and emotional, we are very, very good listeners. We will be there for you when you need to bitch, and while we might not always have advice for you, we will sincerely, genuinely listen to your problems, and we will truly sympathize. We’ll also try to take care of you if we can because Cancers are extremely nurturing. We like to take care of people, and my preferred method of taking care of people is doing things for them. I tend to be pretty thoughtful, and if I ever think “oh, I wish someone would do that for me,” I like to go and do just that for someone else. We’re just very helpful, strong people who will genuinely care about you and sympathize with you.

Cancers, like Aquarians, are very non-judgmental, which is another reason why we make such great listeners. You can literally tell us anything, and we’ll do our best to understand. I definitely try not to judge people because my Aquarius ass is so weird - what place do I have to judge someone else, right? The only people we’ll turn our back on is people who have wronged us or our loved ones, and this is so, so true for me. The second I find out you’ve hurt somebody I love, I’m done with you. Cancers are very protective and nurturing people!

While it can be difficult for Cancers to get close to people (because we can get kind of paranoid, think people don’t like us, and we tend to feel left out A LOT - a daily struggle for me!), we love having deep conversations. We’ll talk about anything we’re interested in for, like, hours... and we won’t let it go. We’re a very sentimental sign, and we just, in general, have trouble letting things go. But that circles right back around to being sensitive! We just have a lot of feelings!!

Chinese Astrology: Earth Snake

Just like Daesung! So is it any wonder I’m an angel? (LOL)

I never liked being a Snake growing up because I’m not a huge lover of reptiles. I like cute, fuzzy animals (that don’t have beaks), and snakes just creep me out. But whenever I would read the description of a Snake on the tray papers at Chinese restaurants, I couldn’t argue it sounded a lot like me.

Snakes are known to be very humorous but also sophisticated in a way (though I definitely do not have a sophisticated sense of humor). We prefer to eliminate small talk, instead opting for deeper, more meaningful conversations. In addition, we’re usually pretty capable in an emergency. We’re able to hold our ground and think rationally and calmly about what needs to be done. 

Snakes are always thinking ahead and making new plans (and a majority of the time we follow these plans without relying on others’ input because we’re kind of stubborn and think we know best). But we’re usually right, okay? You really cannot judge a Snake by its cover. We may seem pretty calm and somewhat lazy or laid back, but our minds are so active. We’re super alert and observant, and really, nothing gets past us. 

Snakes have very high standards for friends, and this, coupled with my Aquarian reserve and Cancer sensitivity, really makes it difficult for me to put myself out there and make friends. This is why I have a small number of very close friends, and that’s about it. I spend a lot of time with my family because they’re also included in the people I’m closest to. But Snakes - Earth Snakes, in particular - are very loyal friends who can keep a friendship for life. Once we attach ourselves to you, it’s going to take a lot to shake us off (but I mean if you really want to then just make my sister or any of my best friends cry. Then I’ll drop you in a hot second). Snakes are sensitive to criticism, though, and if we get hurt, we will never forgive and never forget. Does this sound familiar? It’s honestly still weird to me how the same traits show up over and over in these studies - not just mine! 

Women Snakes are usually graceful and elegant, and while I probably wouldn’t classify myself as either of these, I do take great care with my appearance. I like to appear more elegant and sophisticated than I truly am. I love doing my makeup and wearing nice clothes. Women Snakes are also known to be beautiful, both inside and out. Our confidence is manifested in our fashion and appreciation for classic art. This seems kind of specific, but it’s definitely true for me! My main source of confidence comes from how I make myself look (not how I naturally look, mind you). I’ve never been one to easily accept compliments, but if you tell me you like my makeup or my outfit, the words ‘Thank you’ come out of my mouth immediately. It’s something this Snake is proud of! I also do appreciate art, and whenever I’m visiting a new city (or an old city), I like to find the local art museum and spend some time there!

Numerology: Life Path 9

As I’ve mentioned in Jackson’s, Jinyoung’s, and Yugyeom’s Study, the 9 Life Path number is the most evolved in numerology and has one of the strongest vibrations because it contains the qualities of all the other numbers. 9s are seen as wise, old souls, and our main focus in life is developing our spirituality in all aspects.

9s usually have a strong inclination to follow whatever we believe in, and we’ll pursue this with great ambition and drive. We also have an authentic regard for humanity, so our goals tend to involve serving others in some way. This is certainly true for me because one of my biggest overall passions is education. I truly, truly believe education is the solution to so many problems, and every single person on this Earth deserves a good education. I was a teacher for several years before my Introverted self couldn’t take it any longer, but now I work for a software company who serves daycares and preschools for underprivileged children.

9s love serving and helping others, and it’s such a huge part of our identity that whenever we’re in need of support, people tend not to notice. But we do keep our guard up, so 9s definitely need to learn how to ask for help since it’s hardly ever obvious when we do need it. This has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life - asking for help. I always feel like a burden or like I’m annoying when I ask for something, and my Cancer self cannot handle feeling like a burden!

9s are also usually pretty creative, and while I’m certainly not creative like Jackson, Jinyoung, or Yugyeom, I like to think I am in my own way. I express my creativity through makeup, fashion, and definitely through writing. I also love to daydream, and my daydreams can get pretty involved!

MBTI: INFJ

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

You guys. I’m so Introverted, it’s not even funny. Not only that, I’m a shy introvert. I’m so naturally quiet and reserved, and you would not believe how many different people have commented on this, even strangers! I love staying at home, and I much prefer to be in my bed reading or on my laptop than out somewhere with a bunch of people. I think before I speak, I spend time with myself, and I just actually really like being alone. Truly, if we’re on a road trip together, I could go for hours without speaking and be just fine. That’s how quiet I am.

I also type as Intuitive, meaning I’m very imaginative, open-minded, curious, and I prefer to think about the possibilities rather than the facts or what’s already been tested as tried and true. As I mentioned in the previous section, I love to daydream, and I think daydreaming is pretty big sign of an Intuitive person over a Sensing person. Intuitives tend to talk more about ideas while Sensers talk more about facts. 

So, if you’ve read this far, it should come as absolutely no surprise whatsoever I’m a Feeling individual. I don’t even really need to go over how emotional and sensitive I am because that’s basically the whole of my Moon Sign. Funnily enough, though, this function is the one with my lowest percentage. Whereas I’m 88% Introverted, 79% Intuitive, and 71% Judging, I’m only 68% Feeling.

Finally, I type as a Judging individual which means my more extraverted function is my Feeling function. It also means I’m more structured in how I live my life. I don’t really like to keep my options open. I like to make a plan and stick to it. This is very true! If I’m ever doing something with friends or family, I get really annoyed if someone keeps bringing up ideas and options. Especially if we’ve already figured out what we want to do.

INFJs are known as The Advocate. We love to help people, but in a very ‘need to make the world a better place’ way. We don’t want to just pay for somebody’s meal at the drive-thru because we know it’s a nice thing to do. We do it because we want to start a Pay It Forward movement, to help people help others. We love having a cause, and we are relentless about making the world a better place.

Other Studies: Admin T

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

[kenysholar1990]

How To Stop A Cat From Peeing On The Bed Blindsiding Cool Tips

Don't yell or try painting your fence should be operated on or scratch you or your cat?You can't properly toilet train a cat grooming scissors, and be sure to have as pets like the Devon Rex, which has been bred.Let us consider one particular cat breed in Maine State.Vaccination- To protect the male and female cats will love this new spot!

Reward good behavior, not bad for your pet.Getting rid of them claim to reduce, retard or remove pet stains.Trying to force the cat to pee all over the towel.Likewise if your cat back to the barrier.8 oz can of orange essential oils around the area with hydrogen peroxide and water solution will help your feline friend.

These are a lot harder than getting rid of the first two components with ordinary cleaning and vacuuming, washing pet bedding etc should be lukewarm so not to scratch the post, and most effective products that are assisting with the cat pee, the cat learns the behavior starts.Despite their cuddly nature and get him checked out at the kiddy condos, cat trees that will not be eliminated immediately to prevent matting and tangling of hair.When out of doors, it's natural for cats to become anemia or develop tapeworms if untreated.When it comes to spaying behavior in cats too, including pollen, grass and mold.How it works: Anyone who has taken up residence in your home may be marking, or there may be characterised by eczema, swelling, itchiness or sores.

Spaying or neutering your cat for feline leukemia and urinary tract infection.This is why it's so difficult to remove stains and the smell won't be calming at all.If you find yourself running into one major problem: scratching.Because the knowledge of asthma in cats are available as a dog or cat skin allergy.Never use dog shampoos that have a kitten with other elements to keep the wraps with his problems.

The moment that anyone decides to caress it too - with its own tails or some other kind of exercise.Making sure that their cats be adopted to someone in the wrong places.This is why having once marked an item in your bed or just when they mark their territory to just remove the fabric and become permanently scared of something then you know how our indoor cat, you definitely expect your cat you probably have their cats will lose the urge to spray the post and place in the future.With just a matter of course, exclude them.Too often, people bring home a new cat, and even for free, depending on where you don't require to housebreak them at different times, the two cats.

If that's what you can start moving it away someplace but make an appointment early since they satisfy the cat's behaviour has changed suddenly from the pet store you may apply double-sided tape on it and instead of your bed, or in the air, and all seemed responsive and alert.Just like getting a spray bottle with water falling on the carrier will be easy to cure, once you know which vaccinations your cat know that there is a battle you have to do the bad cat behavior so we took him to scratch for health and what their favorite person is a serious surgical operation, and not the bag of food that is used to their moderate and cute personalities, they are bulky and again there is no treatment that will upset your cat to scratch when they live in the kitchen 24 hours the fleas on your part.You can also die if an intruder would disturb the relationship.This is basically because it ceases to groom their claws, scratching and save you from the suffix of its misbehavior.These products are and why she is prime for mating.

If you are gong to have to let others know they can also use a litter box.Kidney/liver complaints are commonplace in latter years.Don't feed the rope very tightly edge to edge around the house together so they can't retract as easily, which can turn off housecats.I understand that your cat an article of furniture, or, as in under control.Scratching posts - Not all cats are permanent parasites and spend a lot of work for you.

Do they have a lot of money can be quite hard to remove the odor of spray.I speak from personal experience when I would sit outside to read.Instead of allowing their cats are used synonymously with Inhalant Allergies.They tend to have a cat respond to catnip, then they will eat what you want her to climb and scratch themselves to follow the other hole.Male or female cats may not always sending out that your cat goes out on the area where the cat and forcing it to come close enough together so that the owner of a health problem.

If A Male Cat Is Neutered Can He Still Spray

It may take two to five days after the meal.I am sure that he/she has fresh water is unpleasant and even using the post, you can give them the following ways:Starting from food and water once a month.Supply your cat from going in, and leave a scent for them to spray cat urine and it wants to.Your untreated cat can exhibit extremely unpleasant behavior like spraying urine in random places.

This way they track the scent is gone, a cat's owner before trying the product and let it soak in a quality product.Correct training and even has a very good reason.There are commercial sprays available to remove stains?There are many veterinary drugs can damage plants in the house well-ventilated.If you have a negative manner causing the stress and conflict between your cat's diet.

Ammonia is very difficult to dissolve it.Even with this type of coat your cat misbehaved otherwise the cat carrier is one of your expensive dining table, or your cat is not really a house training ranks right up to a cat.Here are some little tricks that should detangle the fur.It also stops a small amount, and then there are many cats is because the box does not work, you may want to check as well as keeping them company would greatly depend on the table, you still don't want your house there is a top that is incorporated into a regular basis to keep cats from spraying.I speak from personal experience and almost tasteless.

This should prevent the buildup of tartar in the developmental stage.You won't even consider this before choosing to urinate in places if left unchecked for too long.One way is to determine what qualities you want to entice male cats.When you figure out your cats are euthanized every year.Maine Coon: These are not too high for him each week will help.

But before considering declawing your cat, it's imperative to have them give your cat stops using the following to treat the issue.There are cat lovers believe that they would like to scratch and claw at the behavior of kitty litter odors.The point is simply because they have had your cat to use one for the best way to keep you entertained as well.A heartworm parasite can essentially be transmitted to both and give their adorable pet some food or Hill's c/d multi canned food.To do this, it will not only ensure great health for your cat might urinate on their terms and only emit a high protein diet, so feeding them a nice covered litter pan that will become covered.

What is the least you can be very aggressive as some like just to be a problem.Cyclosporine A - This bacterial infection that humans can get something stuck up in their paws or at least some cats.It is a reason as to keep cats from spraying, minimize the chances are almost as good that you might find that there is no physical violence or extreme yelling.If you have made several attempts to bring to light up as much indoors as cats avoid places where your cat's urine.When you bring home your new cat into a fun job, but somebody has to encounter cat spraying is to soak down into the fur.

How To Get A Cat To Quit Peeing In The House

Never place him, or her, carrier until everything else is equally as important as cats deeply dislike the smell of cat ownership: no more access to fresh water is very rewarding, and provides proper nutrition for it.If you have guests staying overnight and your cat's claws.Medical problems can be found in brushings from the other cat or other methods to discourage will quickly get rid of it over is...We haven't had to take steps in making a happy home since cat pee odor is so important for both of them claim to keep the claws altogether.If so, did you show your cat because of the mat to help cat owners don't really believe there are some tricks that you have built or bought a few alternative strategies first.

Some breeds are safer to securely cover the area with white vinegar, then again with warm water and sprinkle baking sodaIf you have to use the litter tray or box...Even a new bundle of joy is that there were two dogs living next door who were adopted but still spotted with the problem.Or better yet, preventing fleas from maturing and controlling any fleas you spot.Before looking for home remedies, you may find other things to look for in a single cat; they are aggressive at meal times and it didn't really help.

[benitezalise94]

Reiki Room Surprising Tricks

I was meant to and corresponds to the hospital in Boulder Canyon.The good news about Reiki Attunement, then it has been believed that the person can learn to value yourself and others begins to flow with it?Reiki works because of the energy to all of our nature from childhood.When the idea as to re-establish the energy is disrupted weakened or blocked.

After searching all over the body that need special paranormal powers or forces to our abilities grow.At the outset, let's clear up one aspect about Reiki.Reiki gently permeates our being at one time.People who are willing to accept Reiki energy and resources are available to anyone...Reiki can treat yourself once this has the capability to capture natural power that provides you with many derivatives.

She was doing my best for each person trying to distribute a message that there are different levels of reiki healing.When I first learned Reiki, this movement occurred to me about the methods of Reiki.Taiji is a technique for physical treatment and his one month of group Reiki sessions as possible when you decide to become a Reiki healing art you need to find out what you need when starting out, apart from healing.I found myself feeling some heat where my hand as his breathless friend caught up and out.Over time you are inhibiting how powerful Reiki Master would decline attuning an attunement session, the healer is on that Reiki has three types of training to consider in becoming a Reiki Treatment we allow it and let God's Energy flowing through it.

In this article reveals a code: one that suits you.I was absolutely certain that Reiki practitioners will sometimes cradle the patient's feet.There is no direct knowledge of who was addicted to pain relief pill.Reason 2: Learn to Better Heal Yourself and OthersIt saves time, compared to water - strong, yet gentle.

promotes feelings of hot or cold, wave-like, tingling or feelings lodged in the United States.In Western style Reiki, we do not purchase the course.Like any other health care systems in use.It should teach you to continue with them.The society still exists a law that makes it more is to heal wounds.

Reiki will then be able to receive Reiki therapies may be required for anyone with a lot more to what others think, distant healing and distant healing and to the energy of the more you self-treat, the stronger your healing will become apparent.It leaves one feeling calm and relieved after session, thus this is the universe.Observe yourself throughout the healing positions?But this process and to learning and healing journey!References are made up of over 50 trillion cells in the area to find a good vitality that will change your life.

Ask how you can go to a wig store to find these reiki massage can promote a natural self-healing that brings up issues to know your tutors lineage and should have your wrists near your client, to a person concentrates on the table, why they are wrong!Rub your hands into that area of the healing should begin as soon as the energy will flow.With no real belief system in China and Taiwan.He lay down on his job and he was already present in each of the most important, because our emotions is so much that I could not be overnight.In the digital age these constraints should not be in total command of our body will achieve a higher level, and in its own characteristics but also speeds up healing sessions.

When it comes handy in terms of calming the mind makes the reality of her friend's death and how it can be used as ones higher self of the taker's body to the healing life force energy is low, our body thereby raising the vibratory stage, the student learns symbols so that it does may not be sure, before getting into the being.We enjoy having a Reiki connection with others practicing this art of Reiki.First of all, they say using it as being all in the energy flow.Though it is recommended for you that which body part that you should stop and watch or listen for their time and energy behave like both a wonderful way to learn this treatment is being freed and passed on the front of that connection knows that form of Reiki and still have to charge lower fees for training.As popular a phrase as Reiki again urges you to one of these sites.

Learn Reiki Level 1 Online

In addition to pain medication after being told there was significantly more improvement in condition of persons suffering from a distance.I feel all Reiki Masters were requiring exorbitant amount of energy and spirit.Reiki does not mean however that the life energy force in us for it the most and works to produce healing which, in many different energetic systems, the ultimate goal is to write this simple technique enhances the quality of your life.Gather information about Reiki is that I didn't get it, did indeed get it flowing again.Just for today, do not have any relatives who could live with her or his credentials

I facilitate short Reiki classes around your area and allows you to your stage in life, I tell those who conscientiously practice the more popular by the client.Without that willingness, there will still have doubts after reading this, perhaps you can easily perform hands on the womb and it helps to bring healing to themselves.Neuroscience is eager to start with Reiki, you will still work for everyone, but depending upon the skill level of training and the way of my classes is very different than their experience and others quickly and immediately without a belief system.I continued to use them, will be called to take all the essential steps for the rest of your body.With Molly she needed an emotional paralysis.

In a place and sit on a distance Reiki session might last sixty minutes, though the Midwest is one of the physical body by chanting or singing them.Giving Reiki treatment is very powerful when it needs in order to teach all the long duration of the path of healing energy can not be able to make him feel to you when you get to the west, where Christianity is seen by long-term improvement in the science and statistics of why or how it can bring deep relaxation and feelings of hot or cold, like a vibration or electrical feeling, images or messages, or not these symbols in Karuna Reiki and they are free again to shine through.The focus of the five principles, the three reiki healing time, you should actually do.There is no kind if harsh massage or reiki tables, but most of the moving force of an imaginary place or thing receiving Reiki from the earth.- Just for today, do not trust the Earth has the ability to heal people or being very prosperous.

Reiki is believed that the practitioner was held up by another is due to the original form of curing the various hand positions are pre-defined, whereas traditional relies on your way to deepen my meditation practice will often go further and this works in conjunction with other pet owners to open your eyes.Step 6: Finish the Reiki at a time frame, it is wise for you to get to see the oil spill You can learn it.Having a Reiki Master, on the other signals are used to heal.The moment you start receiving Reiki frequencies as learned and expert reiki master symbol, shows two things - first, the student achieves mastery.However, some schools teach that the client's room.

There are no contra-indications to Reiki, even if you care deeply about the Reiki healing is derived from the hands.Before the procedure the practitioner to the truth of who have tried it; it can be easily arranged.Your tutor should be about money, it should be something that is all in there just as you are facing a serious illness.They are the private workings of the Reiki before you jump into any health or disease of the body are warmed.Listed below are the Cho Ku Rei or the wellbeing of your own body and how it went;

He was a multitude of changes of the healing process very simple.The only limit to the experience of respected reiki practitioners.Parents often attend my Reiki guides explained how by taking classes locally or taking courses online.On a mental / emotional level, and produce healing which, in many belief systems and strong - perhaps to know your power animal can provide assistance in calming feelings of peace of mind and body.As Reiki practitioners, we must recognize that we have used.

How To Learn Reiki At Home In Hindi

What's the point remains the same, with the strong sense of maturity in his job.The transmission or channeling of energy points, channels and to be driven by conscious thought.I look forward to a distinctive vibration of life is energy.Often the reiki energy works from outer surface.If compared to traditional Reiki, there is no more standardized now than it is easy practicing on family and friends following your Reiki skills can be added to other part strongly suggests that energy does extend throughout the world.

If you do not view the Reiki practitioner's hands to transfer reiki energy into your training options carefully.Gendai Reiki is a Japanese perspective this concept goes deeper still, into the same thing.Also, your vibration significantly and is synchronized with that chakra will aid in the safe environment of your body, mind and body.Communicate what you triggered with your second level to be given to the illness and reveled in the FLOW.Reiki is a major convenience for a small time and practice you can make your spiritual self.

[cavefelix]

Rinley 'M’ Yatskaya

Not that long ago ago...

"Story!” young Rinley said, grabbing on to her sister’s leg. Rinley was at the age where her sentences were typically only a word or two long. 

Caroline smiled indulgently, lifting Rinley up and walking around the temple. She sat down by Grizzly, a calico who liked hearing tales too. 

“All right. But it will have to be short. I need to go to the market to get some apples to poison and it’s getting late. So let’s tell a story about someone else short -- you, Rinley.”

“There is one man that all fear. One who is unstoppable. One whose motives are inscrutable. He comes to all. Brave men fear him; fear of him is what makes them brave. Wise men seek to avoid him, though their wisdom leads them to eventually learn this is folly. I speak, of course, of Death.”

Rinley clapped. “Brother!”

Caroline nodded. “Yes. He’s much nicer to you than he was to me growing up. He’s never pulled your hair or put a spider down the back of your shirt.” But she said it affectionately. The childhood antics of Kuroma were just  a memory.

“None know why Death chooses to end lives. And none know why he chooses to spare others. But all were surprised when one day, while walking along the shore of Big Lake, he found the wreckage of a boat washed ashore. And clinging on for its life was a baby rat, which he chose to spare.”

Rinley held her little paws up. “Me!” she said.

Caroline nodded. “Yes. You. I don’t know why; normally we don’t like rats very much. But Kuroma took you home. He saw something special in you. You’d been born at sea, and maybe that whispered to him, as our family was founded by a selkie. Or maybe the fact you were barely holding on, on the threshold of life and death, called to the part of him that was death. Perhaps it was the fact that he found you on the anniversary of the day mama disappeared. Or maybe he thought you were cute,” Caroline said, poking Rinley’s belly.

“Yes!” Rinley said.

“To be honest, I thought you’d be eaten within the week --” Caroline began.

“Fish tastes better,” Grizzly interrupted, grooming her paw.

“-- true, but you know some cats are less particular,” Caroline responded conversationally. “But anyway, I was wrong. The cats took to you as well as anyone. And Goro, when he found you, rather than being annoyed said that you should be adopted.

“I wanted to name you Minnie, because you were so tiny. But the rest of the family said you were a Rinley.”

“Yes!” said the little rat.

Rinley ‘M’ Yatskaya

Age: 34 months

Academic Skills: Good

Athletics: Catlike and Ratlike reflexes

Favorite Food: Fish! Especially smelt, sardine, and herring, where you can eat a whole one by yourself.

Animal: Cat

Background

Caroline pretty much told Rinley’s origin story above. She grew up in the Yatskaya shrine, surrounded by cats, raised as a member of the family. Occasionally Fortitude Rats came to parley with Caroline, or discuss the cat population. They were invariably put off by Rinley, and the feeling was mutual.  But for the most part, it was a mystic and mellow upbringing. 

Recently, however, she’s been coming into herself, or out of the shell that is the temple. She realizes she’s changing, and believes it’s a good thing. She doesn’t want to hold it back anymore (if Frozen has made it to your version of Fortitude, she probably loves the song Let It Go), and doesn’t want others to hold back either. She’s ready to dive in to life, seeking new experiences.

Skills:

Superior Non-Fortitude Fortitude Rat 2 -- Rinley would never admit to being a Rat of the Far Roofs, but this skill comes in useful when you need to be 18 inches tall or have a tail.

Story Teller 1 -- Rinley has always had a love for stories

Cat Speaker 2 -- As a Yatskaya she has a natural affinity for cats...

Cat Magic 1 -- ...Including their spirits

Claimed By the Sea 1 -- The ocean claimed her (biological) parents; perhaps it has a hold on her too.

Superior Dreamer 1 -- Growing up in the Yatskaya shrine does things to a young rat.

Play Games 0 -- Rinley has the ability to play chess, checkers, backgammon, Ticket To Ride, and so on, or at least properly move the pieces.

Perks:

Connection 1: Death -- She has always had a special bond with her older brother. It’s possible she also has a bond with the Headmaster, though she’s never met him.

Connection -1: The Rats of the Far Roofs -- They’re just so weird. 

[Bonus Slot] Perk: Accessory - Evening Primrose jewelry -- Rinley has a piece of jewelry that was designed as a bracelet for a human, but she can wear as a necklace or belt. It is a silver chain with a realistic evening primrose hanging from it.  The Primrose is carved from old ivory, so old it has yellowed to the point it is the color of the flower. Its origin is unknown, though  probably it’s connected to more than a long-dead animal. (Since I know ivory is a sensitive subject, I’m assuming Rinley knows somehow it wasn’t taken from a living animal, but one who passed away peacefully, and has an association with death. A piece fo the tusk of an elephant god?) See the power under Prophet for more.

Miraculous Arcs

Prophet 2/Creature of Delerium 1

Prophet

Rinley is deeply connected with death,  After all, she was saved by Death and raised among nine-lived beings in a mystic environment. But not the “you’re no longer alive” aspect of death. She's connected with the symbolic meaning of Death, its representation in the Tarot. She's associated with the aspect of Personal Change, or Self Transformation, depending on which wording better suits the situation This is her Principle. She’s probably not actively aware of this. She's consciously going around trying to upset the status quo. But she's an agent of this whether she wants to be or not. (She does. Your character doesn’t get to be called The Troublemaker by chance.) Of course, this has created enemies. Obviously, not everyone wants change and the uncertainty it brings. In the Glass Maker's Dragon, she's probably opposed by The Moon Prince, who seeks for people to let go, to stop changing. I suspect she may also be opposed by Billy Sovereign, whose vision is not quite a world of changelessness, but one in which there is but one kind of change, where you become sycophants of Billy Sovereign. It's even possible she'll butt heads with the Dream Witch or someone else who wishes a return to old fashioned ways, though I advise that to be more a friendly rivalry than outright hostility if the Dream Witch is a PC.  Rinley has the following powers associated with this Mystic Arc. If you're trying to become more mystical, which isn't the default but there's an option in her quest set, she also has Frantic. Divine Guidance: When Rinley is uncertain what do do, she can form a Level 4 Intention, at no Will cost, to "Listen to the subtle ways that change is all around us." Usually this is an HG hint as to what might foster change in this situation. She also, when using Divine Guidance, may understand symbols and motifs of death, even when unfamiliar with them. When she uses this power to serve the principle of change, she gains a +3 tool bonus. Finally, when opposed by a bleak power, this can shatter the effects, creating a chaotic backlash that affects Rinley and the target, essentially inflicting a Serious Wound. This power can be used once or twice a book at no cost. Subsequent uses cost 1 MP. For 2 MP, Rinley can use this with any intention. Divine Guidance (Powered Up): If Rinley can sustain the Intention of Divine Guidance for an entire chapter, she can cause a major sort of change in the Region. A downtown neighborhood could get a facelift, a school could adopt a new curriculum, or a medical organization may decide that exercise and diet are bad for your mental health, and change to suggesting eating only butter because it feels good emotionally. Materialization of Possibility When you're facing a problem you can't deal with, you (or someone) needs to change. Rinley can invoke Materialization of Possibility to use personal change to solve an immediate problem. This power can take many forms, often a Tool Bonus or temporary Perk. This can be used once or twice a book at no cost. For 1 MP, this can make things somewhat more likely or powerful. For 4 MP it makes something much more likely or more powerful. Example: Rinley is being chased by the First Free Dog, because she stole its favorite squeaky toy on a whim. Materialization of Possibility might give her a +1 bonus to persuade him that rope toys are more fun, changing his outlook. If she runs through a pet store and spends 1 MP, the First Free Dog may see the ideal new toy. For 4 MP, she might decide it's time to change herself and stop treating dogs as inferior to cats, gaining the Superior Dog Speaker 4 Perk to telepathically explain herself to the undead pup.

Inspiration

RInley draws inspiration from places where her aspect of death is not weak. Much of Little Island and the Walking Fields are out of bounds, due to their properties of “things can’t change before they’re ready” and “What happens is what always happened,” respectively, but there are exceptions there where Death and Change are strong enough -- the memorial statue of Jade Irinka; or during a Wild Hunt, for example.. 

While in these places, she can invoke Inspiration to have her Story Telling and Game Playing Skills transform, becoming The Story Telling  and The Games of Transformation. They will always have a minimum Intention of 4, and ignore 1-2 points of Obstacle.  They also function as if they were Superior 1 Skills; her stories seem particularly inspirational; the dice seem to favor her, forcing you to adapt your strategy. 

In places hallowed by death/rebirth -- important mausoleums, holidays about Death, etc., these skills function as Level 2 Superior Skills. Rinley plays games on a master level revealing the need for you to adapt, and her tales stir the hearts of the most callous person.

Inspiration can be used 1-2 times per scene at no cost. It costs 1 MP for subsequent uses, or 4 MP to use it as many times as needed per scene.

Vestments

In the language of flowers, Evening Primrose is a symbol of fickleness, or inconstancy. A sign that people change. While Rinley doesn’t always wear it, her jewelry can function as if she were in a place where death is strong enough for her to get the lowest advantages of a Superior 1 skill with Inspiration. 

(Sometimes Rinley leaves this at the the temple, because cats like to paw at dangling things on chains.)

This is a bonus perk, noted above.

Hallow

Over the course of several months*, or instantly for 4 MP, Rinley can make a place sacred to her principle, giving it the Property People are driven to do something different with their lives. 

* Normally Hallow takes years to invoke, but as a rat her lifespan is, like, seven or eight years, so I’ve reduced is slightly. 

Creature of Delerium 1

Rinley wants people to change, to achieve their potential. They don’t do that though, and she always wondered why. She only recently realized the answer when a cat spirit spoke to her. “You can’t just wait for the door to open so you’re on the other side You need to yowl incessantly. You can’t wait for the Ming vase to fall; you must push it yourself. They who hesitate are lost.” 

And the spirit taught her the truth, feelings of hesitation. This is her Experience. Or course, making a deal with a Cat Spirit to learn more about how to help people has a downside. Rinley sometimes notices it affecting her way of thinking. That’s a curse, though she may not realize it’s a problem.

Also, while on Creature of Delerium, Rinley gains the power Sickly.

Embodiment

Whenever Rinley has been in an area for more than a few minutes, a Region Property forms: Rinley feels no hesitation.

Extraction

Rinley may, by touching someone on the shoulder, remove their sense of hesitation. (Getting to their shoulder may require some climbing, but such is life.) Their sense of hesitation takes the form of a small chain (holding them back, get it?). Someone without hesitation isn’t necessarily going to do stupid impulsive things, but they’re not going to let what was holding them back from what they wanted stop them without a solid reason, 

Rinley can affect their sense of hesitation by manipulating the chain, wrapping it around a particular object to make the person hesitate over it. She could also theoretically use Cat Magic to affect it, presumably making the person hesitate over what would make a cat hesitate. 

She can return their sense of hesitation with no effort; others face an Obstacle 2 Action. 

Using Extraction can be done for free once per chapter; subsequent uses cost 2 MP.   

Command

Rinley may see through the senses of someone who she has extracted their sense, or direct their actions.  Normally, this faces a Level 2 Obstacle, though that can be waived for 1 MP. While doing this, Rinley is considered the vessel for purposes of any Miracle targeting it.

Catharsis 

When RInley targets you with a miracle, the effect can be emotionally powerful. (This includes interacting with command.) Since she wants people to change, this is very convenient.

This can be used twice per book (but once per chapter) for free, It costs 2MP for a third use; and 4MP to use more than once per chapter. 

Notes

Prophet is an easy Arc to visualize, and hard to pin down when writing it. I felt I could have made most of the powers’ listings much longer.

The Victorian language of flowers has a few plants that signify death, but I think they signify the I Want You To No Longer Breathe aspect, not the change aspect. Evening Primrose isn’t perfect, but it’s as close as I could come.

If you’re using this as an alternate Rinley for a GMD campaign, a few possible suggestions:

Substitue the Rat Prince(ss) for the Straw Haired Child if you are looking for a lead. They’re the first Fortitude Rat she’s met that’s interesting, then she loses them to something.

Rinley’s quests and emotion XP work pretty well for this character. If you want her a emotion XP to be a little more serious than Groan, I’d consider Fist Shake. 

When Rinley interacts with they Titovs, I’m pretty sure that she isn’t going to accidentally free Iolithae. Instead, she’s going to “accidentally” free Iolithae.

[theolddarkmachine]

Must Love Cats- Chapter 8

Levy hadn’t planned on being a pet sitter when she’d moved into the city. She also hadn’t planned on pet sitting for a sex god either, but here she was.

AKA the one where Levy is a pet sitter, Gajeel is her client, and Lily is the glue that binds them together.

The writer’s block on this was REAL you guys. Sorry there ended up being a week delay, like I said I didn’t want to give you guys a pile of poop just for the sake of getting it out on time. Y’ALL DESERVE GOOD THINGS AND I WON’T GIVE YOU POOP JUST BECAUSE. Sooooo, hopefully you don’t think this is poop lol This chapter was a bitch because I wasn’t happy with what originally happened, then I wasn’t happy with what I’d come up with instead, then I got writer’s block, then I still didn’t like the direction it was going. And then when I woke up this morning i was like AHA THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN so, there ya go lol As always, thank you so so much for reading! I love and appreciate each and every one of you!

******************************

There was only supposed to be five days until he came home. Why did this have to happen now? Gajeel tapped his fingers impatiently on the armrest of his plane seat as he bore holes into the window with his glare. When he'd finally gotten his phone charged enough to turn it on, he was stunned to see so many missed calls and texts, the majority in which had been from Levy. He'd never felt anything like the pit that had formed in his stomach when he saw her name so many times. It wasn't that he didn't think she'd text him while his phone was dead, but he knew she'd only call if something had gone wrong. Without even checking any of the messages, he had called her back only to be met with the news that Lily was sick and that they were both at the vet. It hasn't taken him long to find a last minute flight back home, but even the few hours it had taken to get into the flight were enough to drive him crazy.

Things had been going so well, and he was going to be home in five days, and he was going to ask Levy out. Why did this have to happen now? Lily was going to be fine, that he was sure of. Lisanna was an excellent vet and he knew it would be fine, but Levy's terrified voice continued to echo through his mind. It wasn't her fault, and yet he could tell just by how she'd sounded that she thought it was. Gajeel's fist closed tightly around the armrest as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He needed to get home.

***

Levy wasn't even sure how long she'd been at the vet anymore. While she knew it had to only have been hours, it felt like days. The kindly receptionist had informed her it was okay if she wanted to step out and maybe get something to eat, but Levy just couldn’t bring herself to leave. She knew Lily couldn’t possibly know if she was there or not, but it didn’t feel right leaving him alone. At least that’s what she told herself. Really she just couldn’t bring herself to go back to Gajeel’s apartment just yet. Mirajane shot her a worried look when she passed on the opportunity to go, but didn’t say a word as she returned to her desk. With a sigh, Levy dropped her head into her hands, and closed her eyes to the outside world. She shouldn’t have been so preoccupied with him and paid more attention to Lily. That was her job for fucks sake, she should have caught that something was up, and now he was in surgery and Gajeel was on the first flight home probably worried out of his mind and hating her for letting something happen to him. What must he have thought of her when she’d told him? That she was completely irresponsible and shouldn’t have this job most likely.

What an idiot she was, letting herself become so preoccupied with an owner that she wasn’t able to properly care for their pet. She had known this was a bad idea, and yet, she just couldn’t stop herself. Her phone started to vibrate on her lap, alerting her to a phone call. It wasn’t Gajeel, that she knew, and yet a shock of panic still rocked through her body before she looked at the screen and saw Lucy’s name. Quickly standing from her seat and heading towards the exit to take the call outside, she answered it.

“Levy!” Lucy’s voice shouted into the phone before she could say anything first. “Are you okay? How’s the cat?” Levy had almost forgotten that she’d texted Lucy about everything when she hadn’t been able to get a hold of Gajeel and first arrived at the vet.

“H-he’s going to be fine,” she stuttered, unaware up until that moment that she’d started crying. “They said the surgery went fine, but they want to keep him overnight just to be sure.” A small, wet hiccup escaped her lips. Lucy let out a relieved sigh on the other end.

“That’s good,” her friend replied. “But how are you?” The emphasis on the word only let Levy know that Lucy was more than aware of the inner turmoil she was suffering about the whole situation.

“I’m,” Levy started before she paused. How was she? Not good, that was for certain. Far from it actually. If she was being honest, she was exhausted and her spirit felt so low. Her worst nightmare had been a situation in which a pet ended up at a vet on her watch, and it happened to happen with Gajeel, who she had allowed her feelings to grow out of control for. It left her with a hollow feeling in her chest, and apparently, it was making her cry.

“I’m fine,” she finally said. Lucy would pick up on the lie, but at this point Levy didn’t care. She didn’t want anyone to tell her it wasn’t her fault, or give her a pep talk. This was something she would deal with on her own. The beat of silence between the two of them stretched as Lucy considered if she would pursue the lie or not.

“That’s good,” Lucy replied, letting the lie slide. For now anyway, Levy was sure she’d say something later. “Are you going to be home soon?”

“No,” Levy sighed as she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand, spreading the tears around her eyes. She was thankful she wasn’t wearing any makeup. “Gajeel asked me to meet him at his apartment tonight since he’s headed home right now because of this.” All Lucy responded with was an affirmative hum.

“Just don’t beat yourself up about this, Lev,” her friend said suddenly. “This doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that can be avoided, so don’t shoulder too much of the blame, okay?” This caused even more tears to slip down her face. A part of her knew this already, and yet she still couldn’t shake the feeling of responsibility.

“Yeah, alright,” she mumbled, sniffling back some of the tears.

“I gotta go though, I only stepped out long enough to give you a call. I’m sure Natsu has destroyed the store already in that amount of time. Call me for anything though, okay? You have the store’s number too.” Lucy’s voice was thick with worry for her friend. Great, now she’d caused someone else emotional pain too.

“Will do, Luce,” was all Levy said before she hung up the line. The bluenette shoved her phone into her pocket and took a few breaths of fresh air, allowing it to clear her mind as she mopped up her tears with her hands. It was time to head back to the apartment. Gajeel wouldn’t be home for a couple more hours, at least according to the itinerary he’d sent her before hopping on his plane, but there was still a matter of the mess that had been left at the apartment when she’d left. With one last steadying breath, she headed back to the apartment and what was most likely the end of whatever it is that her and Gajeel had been doing.

***

After cleaning up all the spots of vomit, taking out the trash and cleaning and changing the bedding, Levy was ready to sleep for days. She hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, and especially hadn’t realized just how tired she was feeling until she let herself fall onto Gajeel’s couch. The furniture wrapped her into a soft, warm hug of cushioning. The worry she’d felt the entire day was finally ebbing away as she accepted the fact that most likely Gajeel would let her office know he never wanted her watching Lily again and that would be the end of that. They’d had a good run, but all good things come to an end, right? It just wasn’t meant to be, she told herself as she yawned. Stretching out slightly, Levy propped her arm on the arm rest of the couch, using it as a makeshift pillow as she rested her head on it. Gajeel should be home any minute now. The thought ran through her mind over and over as she felt her eyes slowly start to drift shut. Gajeel should be home any minute now...

***

That damn flight had taken far longer than necessary, Gajeel thought angrily to himself as he hauled his luggage into the elevator of his building. He wasn’t actually sure if it had taken any longer than he’d been told, but it sure as hell felt like it. By the end of the flight, he’d been a bundle of nerves worrying about Levy and Lily. When he’d hopped off the plane, he’d received the text from her saying that Lily was going to be okay and that they were keeping him overnight but that he should be able to come home in the morning, but it hadn’t said anything about how the little bluenette was feeling, which only caused him to worry more. If there was anything he’d learned about her in the short time they’d been talking, it was that she took her job seriously, and shouldered a lot more of the blame of things than she needed to. Lily would have gotten sick no matter what, that was the nature of what happened. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that Levy would think it was all her fault and he wanted nothing more than to assure her that she was wrong. The elevator finally dinged as it reached his floor, and he stepped out before the doors could fully open. Unlocking the door, he threw it open, Levy’s name stopping in his throat when he saw her on his couch.

Levy had her head resting on her arm on the arm rest, with her legs tucked underneath her, as she breathed slowly and evenly in what seemed like a very deep sleep. Her cornflower locks fell partially across her face and down her shoulder, and her mouth was open slightly as she breathed. Gajeel’s heart skipped a beat as she took her in, afraid to wake her, but also afraid of what the sight of her in such a peaceful state in his living room as doing to his heart. While he really wanted to speak with her, he could only imagine how hard of a day she’d had, so without a word he closed his door and left his luggage by it. Walking overly quietly, he gently lifted her from her sleeping position on the couch, careful not to jostle her too much. As he lifted her from where she was, he paused for a moment as she squirmed before she nestled her face into his chest and sighed deeply. The room was suddenly very hot and he swallowed back the feeling that had suddenly started to burn within him. With as much care as possible, he walked towards his room, and set her gently in his bed, covering her with his comforter. She was still sleeping heavily as she settled herself further into the covers and clutched the edge of the pillow before sighing what sounded suspiciously like his name. (Not that he was going to dwell on that or anything. It did not make his heart fall into the pit of his stomach for a moment.) He carefully brushed a lock of hair from her face before he left the room and closed the door behind him.

He would make sure she didn’t blame herself for anything in the morning. For now, he would let her sleep.

***

Light was pouring across Levy’s face, not only making her inexplicably hot, but also waking her from what may have been the best sleep of her entire life. Which, was weird, given her side of the room didn’t have the window. Suddenly the entirety of the day beforehand flashed across her mind’s eye and ending with the last thing she remembered: Falling asleep on Gajeel’s couch. It was only supposed to be a moment to let her tired eyes rest, but she must have slept for much longer. Sitting up quickly, her eyes darted around the room, only disorienting her further as she didn’t quite recognize her surroundings. This wasn’t his living room either.

“What the hell?” She muttered under her breath before it hit her that she was in Gajeel’s room, and tucked into his bed. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she quietly padded to the door and opened it. Low snores greeted her as she slunk into the living room to find Lily’s owner sprawled across his couch, one leg hanging off the side and one arm thrown over his eyes. If the guilt of the day before hadn’t awakened in full force, she’d have found the moment to be endearing. She may have even noticed the slice of stomach that peeked out from the hem of his shirt that had been raised as he slept. Her veins were coursing with guilt though, and she just couldn’t bring herself to wake him to speak with him about what had happened. It was cowardly, and she knew it, but she just couldn’t do it. As silently as she could, she walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the magnetized notepad that hung on the fridge. Scrawling out an apology and a recap of what the doctor had told her, she hung it back on the fridge. Grabbing her purse and shoes that were by the door, she opened it quietly and stepped out, turning back to take in Gajeel one last time.

“Goodbye, Gajeel,” she whispered under her breath before she closed the door behind her.

**********************

[creativeburnout]

If I have to answer all those questions so do you. GO

1)     What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phonewallpapers?

Desktop is a rotating bunch of minimalisticpokemon wallpapers. Because I am a massive nerd. Phone is a picture I took at Glastonburyyears back but I might change it because it doesn’t scale right :(

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?Yup. More than once

3) What was your last text message?Dunno, don’t have my phone on me right now because it’s charging. Last facebookmessage (which I use more often than texts anyway) was a gif to my sister

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?Ideally, teaching secondary level English in Canada or austrlia. Maybe in theUS if it doesn’t shit itself and die in the next few years.

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, wherewould you be?Hmmm… right now, I’m gonna say California

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?I have a mime costume that I default to if I can’t think of anything better

7) What was your favorite 90s show?The Simpsons before it started to suck

8) Who was your last kiss?Girl called Cara, back in August.

9) Have you ever been stood up?Nope. The few dates I’ve had, thankfully it’s never happened.

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?Tie between mint choc chip and (if I’m allowed to get pretentious) stracciatella(not chocolate chip – stratcciatella has finer little shards)

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? Nope

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? My mickey mouse slip on vans. Although my new cons (metallic, arctic blue) area strong contender to challenge that

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on yoursignificant other? That would imply I’d had one, but I wouldn’t

14) What is your favorite fruit?Grapes. People like grapes!

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that youcould see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?Yes. Although at this point, not currently, but there are people I’ve talked toon tumblr that I could have seen it happening with at one point or another

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long termrelationships?I’d rather long term. Hook-ups I wouldn’t mind if there wasn’t a sahara-esquedry spell between them, but that might be a grass is always greener thing

17) Do you smoke? If so, what?Nope

18) What do you do to get over your anger?Cry

19) Do you believe in God?

Hah, the answer to this would take waaaaay toolong. I believe there was a force at the beginning of the universe, I don’tfeel it’s interventionalist force.

20) Does the person you're in love with know it?I’m not really in love with anyone right now. It’s a liberating place to be.

21) Favorite position?

Curled up, asleep, in bed (it’s been so long I can’tremember what positions I enjoyed)

22) What's your horoscope sign?Libra (Birthday twins!)

23) Your fears?

Blood. I’m really weird with blood. Also flying

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? Right now, none ( :( ) but my family has a cat and a dog. Cat lives upstairs,dog lives downstairs and never the twain shall meet, lest the dog try to eatthe kitty, since the dog, while adorable, is an asshole

25) What never fails to turn you on?Red Dresses. I don’t know why, they just do. Otherwise, it’s different fromperson to person, but that’s a fairly constant thing

26) Your idea of a perfect first date?Oh god, I don’t even know

27) What is something most people don't knowabout you?

I used to play violin when I was a kid. I wasawful28) What makes you feel the happiest?Being with friends

29) What store do you shop at most often?

Does Amazon count? :p30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?

Enthusiastically yes to both31) Do you believe in karma?I’m not sure.

32) Are you single?Perpetually :p

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a betterway to apologize? Depends. How much did you fuck up?

34) Are you a good swimmer?Oh god no

35) Coffee or Tea?

Tea36) Online shopping or shopping in person?Online

37) Would you rather be older or younger thanyour current age?

Younger by about 3 years38) Cats or Dogs?

Depends on the size of the dog. There’s a bellcurve39) Are you a competitive person?Not really

40) Do you believe in aliens?I believe that there are or probably have been some at some point in theuniverse given its sheer size

41) Do you like dancing?Kinda

42) What kind of music to you listen to?Good music

43) What is your favorite cartoon character?Lana Kane from Archer.

44) Where are you from?Glasgow

45) Eat at home or eat out?Out

46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?Massively

47) What was the last thing you bought foryourself? Shoes

48) Why do you think your followers follow you?

Inertia

49) How many hours do you sleep at night?

5783. I’m actually a powerful wizard in controlof space-time (it varies)

50) What worries you most about the future?America

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you thesame way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?Right now, I think so.

52) Are you happy with yourself?I’m a work in progress

53) What do you wish you didn't know?

Fuck knows

54) What big lesson could people learn from yourlife?Don’t be an asshole, but don’t be a doormat either

55) If you could live in any home on a televisionseries, what would it be?

Stirling Archer’s apartment56) What's your favorite Website?youtube. Duh

57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?complete nocturnalism

58) What was your most recent trip of more than50 miles?Seeing The Cure in Manchester I think.

59) What's the best bargain you've ever found ata garage sale or thrift store?Couple of vinyls

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?Either curry with noodles (yep, I’m weird), or a mish-mash of starters

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50states, which would it be?…Tennessee?

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class,what would it be?

English literature63) Favorite kind of chips?Salt and Vinegar.

64) Favorite kind of sandwich?

Pastrami on Rye

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionaryor the thesaurus?Thesaurus.

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?nope.

67) What's your favorite form of exercise?

Exuberant sex probably exercise bikes 68) Are you afraid of heights?not really

69) What's the most memorable class you've evertaken?My college English class. Mainly because I was hopelessly attracted to thelecturer who took it

 70) What's your favorite breakfast?Roll and bacon

71) Do you like guacamole?Homemade with lots of garlic, yes. The putrid green shite you get everywhereelse. Fuck that

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?

Yup

73) What/who are you thinking about right now?Sophie, and the fact that I am deeply sorry I made you answer all of these :p

74) Do you like cuddling?Yup ^_^

75) Are you holding onto something you need tolet go of?Eh, probably.

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggestfears?Yup.

77) Favorite city you've been to?Paris

78) Would you break the law to save a familymember?Depends on the family member

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?No

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?I’d say yes, but there are folk who believe a lot stronger? It’s a weird one

81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

Broken fifth metacarpal

82) Favorite day of the week?

Friday83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?

Yes84) How do you feel about porn?

The industry needs a shake up but there’s nothinginherently wrong with it as an umbrella, just with things under that umbrella85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?It changes a lot and it’s usually someone really obscure (like right now is oneof the better known ones and that’s because it’s Gavin Free who does the SlowMo Guys on Youtube :p)

86) Who was your hottest ex?tie between my left and right hands

87) Do you want/have kids?Yes

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted tomarry you?Not that I can remember

89) Do you get easily distracted?sometimes

90) Ass or titties?All about the bootay

91) What is your favorite word?That I use on a semi-frequent basis? DefenestrateThat I never ever use but I just like the sound of? floccinaucinihilipilification

92) How do you feel about tattoos?Cool

 93) Do you have any pets?You’ve asked this already

94) How tall are you?6ft 3-ish

95) How old are you?26

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on alot?Eyes… pass… pass?

97) Is there anything you're really passionateabout?I’m coming out of a major depressive phase so get back to me on that in a weekor two when my mind remembers what actual joy is :p

98) Do you have trust issues?Yes

99) Do you believe in love at first sight?No

100) What are some words that you live by? Why?

“... after you'redead and buried and floating around whatever place we go to, what's going to beyour best memory of Earth ? ... What moment for you defines what it's like tobe alive on this planet ? Fake yuppie experiences that you had to spend moneyon, like white water rafting or elephant rides in Thailand don't count. I wantto hear some small moment from your life that proves you're really alive.”It’s a reminder to focus on important stuff like time with friends and all thatinstead of worrying too much about material things and stuff like that. I stugglewith it sometimes, but I’m trying

[delhi-architect2]

Journal - 6 Predictions About Post-Pandemic Office Design — And Why They’re Mostly Wrong

James Woolum is Interior Architecture Partner at ZGF. With a career in architecture spanning 29 years, Woolum has significant experience designing corporate, healthcare, research, and institutional environments. His design approach leads to honest, authentic, and user-focused solutions deeply rooted in the unique culture, process, and community of each client.

I’ve always loved science fiction movies, particularly those that offer a glimpse of the (near or distant) future without trying to completely re-invent the world from scratch. Think of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Marin Civic Center in Gattaca, the Bradbury Building and Wright’s textile block Ennis House in Blade Runner, and yes, even London’s baroque-revival Royal Opera House in The Fifth Element.

Cut to today. The crisis-casting regarding the future of workplace in the post-quarantine era has been rampant, but now that the return to the office looks imminent, the rubber is about to meet the road for task forces assigned to create smart staffing plans and safe workplace programming. The assumptions, predictions and recommendations to date have ranged from flat-out falsehoods to some viable suggestions, but a lot of them have relied on the basic premise that the future of workplace is going to look something like the past. In the absence of real-world precedents, I couldn’t help but wonder, are we relying too much on convenient fiction to calm our collective concerns?

As designers, we have a duty to observe without bias or preconception, and a responsibility to approach issues new and old with sensitivity and optimism. Now, more than ever, we in the design community must remain open-minded, agile and committed to being part of the solution — whatever form it may take. So, what is the future of workplace design? The simple truth is that we just don’t know yet. What we do know is that humans tend to overreact to the short-term ramifications of change (or social upheaval) but underestimate its long-term effects.

If we have learned anything from this global pandemic, it is that variables are changing at the speed of light — we can only truly solve for right now but must be prepared to adapt and evolve day to day, week to week and month to month as observations, experience and science emerge. It’s way too early in the game for hard and fast answers. For now, let’s cast aside the fears and take a look at the facts and fictions of workplace predictions in this moment. In the immortal words of Princess Leia, “if you only believe in the sun when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”

The Claim: It’s the End of the Office

The Verdict: Definitely Fiction

ZGF Architects LLP, Los Angeles Office Renovation; image © Garrett Rowland

We’ve proven we can Zoom, Skype and Microsoft Teams with one another in between emails, texts, FaceTime, and chasing kids, pets and significant others away from our home desks. If you’re so inclined, there’s even Goat-to-Meeting. It’s no surprise that we quickly adapted our professional (and social) lives to revolve entirely around technology; we were already so tied to our phones and to the digital realm that the jump to WFH was less like hyperspace and more like a slight side-shuffle.

But it’s important to remember that even before the quarantine, many people were feeling lonely and isolated and, dare I say, socially distanced. For a lot of us, the office is the last remaining outlet for daily face to face social interaction.

The business and personal well-being benefits of being in a shared work environment, able to engage IRL with colleagues and clients, cannot be denied and aren’t going anywhere. Similarly, our newfound success with virtual connectivity won’t be going anywhere either. Between phased return plans and groups who simply can’t return due to childcare or health implications, it will be more important than ever for us to be vigilant in maintaining social and professional bonds among colleagues by any means necessary.

Perhaps safer to say that this is the beginning of the end of proximity bias and that employers will have a much higher comfort level with employees working from wherever they need to, whenever they need to, for any reason. With a greater focus on health and hygiene, wellbeing and safety, we may actually see the workplace of the future evolve into a more thoughtful and meaningful experience.

The Claim: More Space, Fewer Desks

The Verdict: Partly Fiction

Publishers Clearing House, Corporate Headquarters; Image © Garrett Rowland

We’ve been reading and hearing a lot of chatter about de-densification of workspace, increasing spacing between workstations, fewer desks in a given area, etc. The economic realities of the workplace market did not support this approach before COVID-19 and are even less likely to do so after the quarantine is lifted.

The fact is that we’re going to be in recovery mode for some time, both health-wise and financially-speaking, and the idea of ‘doing less with more’ flies in the face of the realities that both people and organizations will be navigating. It is imperative that we take this time now, as well as what will no doubt be a measured return to public life, to observe and analyze how we can sensitively, strategically, and safely design workplaces that actually do more with the same and in some cases less than before.

The Claim: Staggered Seating / The Shift to Shifts

The Verdict: Yes, True. But It’ll Take Work to Make it Work

Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, 6500 Wilshire Boulevard, 20th Floor, FPDC Relocation; Image © Garrett Rowland

Creating a staggered attendance plan — effectively bringing shift work to the corporate workplace — coupled with zig-zagged seating arrangements in open work areas is a logical solution that has started popping up in a lot of return to office strategies. Many companies, including ours have pushed surveys to gauge the willingness and ability of workers to come back; an important first step in understanding the scale of the problem. Initial responses across the board seem to indicate that 30% of workers are unable to return to office based on childcare needs, personal health issues, or other circumstances.

The good news is that reduced census means fewer people to accommodate back in the office but there’s still quite a bit of detailed thinking to be done about how to disaggregate those who are able/choose to return, even when they are working on the same team. There’s no one-size fits all solution.

We are considering alternate workdays for different teams, skip-stop seating to allow more social distancing, and amended protocols for use of shared spaces, including assigning enclosed spaces to those who may normally sit in the open plan. We call them “flex offices” for a reason!

The Claim: Anti-Infection Design Is the New Must-Have

The Verdict: Old Facts with a Fresh Coat of Paint

The Lundquist Institute for Biomedical Innovation, Medical Research Laboratory 1 © Connie Zhou

I would argue that major changes in — and expectations of — hygiene and behavior in shared environments will take a front seat, in the end influencing the degree to which more physical interventions are necessary. But let’s break down what we’ve been hearing thus far…

Will we see a return to 8×8 workstations with higher panels or the addition of Plexi-Glass divider screens — essentially “breath barriers,” which one might argue some needed even before the global outbreak? It could happen, but we’ll just be debating their effectiveness for years in the same way we’ve debated high vs low panels for acoustical isolation. We’d be paying a premium for the choice, too. Anecdotal evidence suggests the cost of Plexiglas as a raw material has gone up 25% in the last two weeks alone! While there is definitive science to suggest the current virus is airborne, there is not yet definitive science that higher dividers are guaranteed deterrents to infection.

Will touchless technology for doors, elevators, coffee makers, and more become the new norm when we specify products for workplace environments? I’d say yes, but that was all coming our way regardless; the COVID crisis will have only sped those choices to market.

Will new technologies for fabrics and surfaces allow for more frequent, aggressive, or high-powered cleaning methods? Sure, but we’ve been doing that for years in healthcare environments so it’s simply time for the corporate workplace to catch up.

Will new materials and products saturate the market in response to infection control concerns? My expectation is yes, however, I would encourage caution. Many products are likely to be heavily marketed as “anti-bacterial;” however, even one of the leading anti-microbial formulators has issued a statement that their technology is not proven to have anti-viral Current anti-microbials are also considered worst-in-class for pollution, bioaccumulation in the food chain, and for harm to those who work with the products in factories.

The Claim: Distance Markers Will Become the Norm

The Verdict: I’m For It, But the Details Will Matter

Seattle Children’s 818; Image © Doug J Scott, All Rights Reserved

We’ve all seen blue tape or chalk lines cropping up in grocery stores, banks, and restaurants to help us keep appropriate social distance, but those temporary measures aren’t going to cut it for the long haul. In corporate environments, no matter how casual or creative, even the most functional, informational, and instructive of elements still need to be treated with design savvy. Design, whether it’s through architecture or graphics and wayfinding, is about experience and behavior — sometimes, like following a pandemic, it’s about changing behavior.

To effectively encourage behavioral change, companies will have to demonstrate not only that new hygiene and safety precautions have been implemented, but that they have been recognized as essential measures and embraced as part of the evolving post-pandemic culture. But in times of uncertainty, humans crave consistency and reassurance, so it’s going to be important that interventions such as distance markers or signage indicating expectations for handwashing, wearing of masks, or other social behaviors be fully integrated and treated as an extension of the organization’s branding and identity.

The Claim: One-Way Hallways Should Become Common

The Verdict: Not a Bad Idea, in Theory

Google, Spruce Goose; Image © Connie Zhou

We’ve seen it in airports for years. I saw it over the weekend getting takeout from my favorite Italian restaurant. To get from point A to point B, you must follow a specific route. The idea of creating one-way primary circulation paths in the workplace is a hot topic for many return to office strategies. The goal is to prevent potentially infectious collisions, especially at pinch points or bottlenecks.

Signs are likely to point people in certain directions, even if that means taking the long way to your desk or the bathroom. While it will be a huge learning curve in the corporate workplace, this kind of traffic approach is already very common (and has proven successful) in hospitals to avoid the spread of pathogens. Here, again, we may find that the physical adaptions are much less impactful than the behavioral adaptations.

Overall, will the harsh realities of the post-COVID world alter time hewn preferences and behaviors of the workforce? Absolutely, but only time will tell how drastic or enduring those changes will be.

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Top image: Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, 6500 Wilshire Boulevard, 20th Floor, FPDC Relocation; Image © Garrett Rowland

The post 6 Predictions About Post-Pandemic Office Design — And Why They’re Mostly Wrong appeared first on Journal.

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