#but someone I follow on instagram who also goes to my school went and I was SOOOOOOOOOO JEALOUS

[vivalamusicaltheater]

I need to see Carly Rae Jepsen live at least once in my life or I will Explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starryeyedjanai]

bad boys do it better

rated: teen | @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: modern au tags: dating apps, innuendo, bad flirting read on ao3

✿

Eddie finally opens Tinder after downloading it in a fit of desperation.

He's tried everything but these stupid apps—bars and clubs and pottery classes and rock climbing—trying to find someone he can connect with.

But he's mostly found guys that string him along with whispered sweet nothings and half-promises they don't intend to follow through on.

So he makes his profile and then promptly fumbles and drops his phone because— no fucking way.

There's no way this is real life.

There's no fucking way the first guy to pop up is Steve fucking Harrington, his unfortunate and longest lasting crush in high school.

He picks up his phone and sees Steve's face staring back at him, unassuming, a bright, cheery smile on his face.

Steve, 28 2 miles away "Hope you like bad boys because I have it on dvd and vhs" Interests: baseball, basketball, live music, movies

He taps to get to the next photo and lets out a shaky breath—the shorts of what can only be his Halloween costume are so short, exposing hairy thighs that Eddie wants to sink his teeth into.

The next photo is a snapchat picture of him grinning wide, cradling what might be the world's ugliest dog, the text across the screen reading my nephew is so handsome 🤩🤩🤩.

The last is an obligatory shirtless mirror pic, not showing off washboard abs, but the soft, toned skin of his stomach.

He closes the app, sets his phone down, and breathes through his nose.

This can't be real, right? In what world would Steve be the first person in a sea of profiles in San Francisco of all places?

Eddie expected him to chase after Nancy Wheeler when she went to Boston, but he didn't stick around long enough in Hawkins to find out if they ever rekindled their will-they-won't-they relationship.

Maybe he's just visiting. Maybe he found his match and just forgot to delete Tinder. Because there's just no way Eddie has this kind of luck.

He opens up Instagram and searches for Steve and finds him right away because they're probably still Facebook friends.

He scrolls through his profile and deflates a little, because all of the pictures on Tinder are from his Instagram. Which means it's probably much more likely that someone is catfishing using Steve's pictures.

Because the Steve from high school wasn't into men. And he's hot enough for someone to use his pictures to scam people or whatever.

He opens up Tinder again and his thumb is swiping right before he thinks about what he's doing.

It's a match!

Okay, now he knows it's a catfish. Or maybe it's a bot.

There's no world in which Steve Harrington would swipe right on him in the twenty minutes it's been since he created his account.

He types a message to "Steve" saying so are you a bot or just a catfish?

He doesn't get a response right away, so he clicks out of the messages, looking at profiles of what are hopefully actual people he can connect with.

His phone buzzes when the message from Steve comes in.

Hi3 Eddiems, cl!ck th3 linkin my proffile to . achat I am waitin9

He rolls his eyes and goes back to perusing profiles. It's not like he thought it was really Ste-

His phone pings with another message and he clicks back into the chat immediately.

That was a joke. There's not even a link in my profile

Eddie's heart beats a little faster, his fingers typing out a response.

So a catfish then?

Why do you think I'm a catfish?????

Because I know the guy in those pictures and there's no way hes into men. That guy was a jock extraordinaire in high school and very straight

You're awfully judgey for someone who was so anti-conformity in high school. Whos to say I haven't changed?

Or like, learned new things about myself?

Eddie's breath stutters in his throat.

Also you didn't really know me since we never talked.

Okay, I mean. It's pretty easy to guess that I was counterculture in high school by looking at me. So I'm still on the fence about the catfish thing

How about we meet up then? So you can see me in all my nearing-30 glory

And watch bad boys on dvd and vhs with you?

Dude, I am not inviting you to my house on the first date

That's a third date kind of thing

Oh yeah? Is it a back-to-back feature? We start with the vhs then move to dvd?

He can't believe he's entertaining this. A catfish wouldn't offer to meet up unless they thought Eddie wouldn't call their bluff. He kind of wants to see where this is going.

No see, we start with the dvd playing in the living room and then when we inevitably start being bad boys🥵 in the middle of the movie, we can pick it back up on vhs in my room later

To be clear, we stop the movie, right? I'm not sure bad boys has a soundtrack meant for the kind of activities we'd be doing

Oh for sure. I'd even put on my "let's get it on" playlist. As a treat.

Eddie can't help but grin. Even if this guy is a catfish, this is maybe the most fun he's had talking to someone in a long time.

Are you serious about meeting up?

Uh yeah, I can't have you thinking I'm a catfish forever

What's your favorite brewery?

Cellarmaker

Wanna do tomorrow afternoon at like 2 when it's not busy?

That sounds perfect

He isn't sure if it's really Steve or if he's going to be met with someone else or stood up, but at least he'll get to drown his sorrows if it doesn't work out.

Well—he's unsure until he gets the 'stharrington started following you' notification on Instagram a few minutes later.

He screams into his pillow so loud his neighbor thumps on the wall.

[heartsaturn]

“i’m wearing tennessee orange for him” - lh43

luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which, blood doesn’t run thicker than water

warnings: nothing (??), intended lowercase, set in luke’s last season at umich, awkward!luke and a bit of shy!luke, ends in a bit of a cliffhanger so i’m open for part two requests if anyone wants it

a/n: woah !!! sara actually write a fic ?!? ik ik it’s crazy. this was requested by my one and only @daniiiboo, i deeply apologize for taking five years (a few MONTHS 😓) for this to come out. i still don’t really like this fic but i like it enough to post it.

———————————————————————-

if one thing is true, it is that ohio state hates university of michigan. the feeling is definitely mutual. the two schools have been rivals since before you can remember. all you know is that you cannot associate with someone from michigan. you were raised a buckeye, and you will stay a loyal buckeye, right?

well, being a loyal buckeye is really damn hard right now.

it is not an abnormal thing for you and your friends to go and support the sports teams at your school. most of the time, it was football games. sometimes, it was hockey games. and now hockey season is starting. the stadium buzzes with energy at the first rival game of the season. it’s the beginning of october and the beginning of fall, which you believe is one of the best times of the year. the air finally starts to become crisp after a blazing summer. it couldn’t be a better time for a hockey game. so, you and your friend decide to go to the game for the atmosphere.

just here for the atmosphere, you try to remind yourself now. you also happen to be questioning in your mind why a hockey player just tossed you a puck. a michigan hockey player. there is no way that he thought you were a michigan fan because, first of all, there is a very minimal amount of michigan fans. you’re literally at your home arena. second of all, you and all of your friends are wearing ohio state gear. who does this stupidly gorgeous wolverine think he is?

while all of your friends start squealing because of this boy’s gesture, you sit there in shock. you look at the puck that rests in your hands. you don’t snap out of your confused daze until one of your friends nudges you.

“you think he’s cute?” she asks with a small smile on her face. her words are teasing and her smile is smug.

of course, you think he’s cute. how could you not? he is tall, has curly hair that you can see peaking through his helmet, and you note the little smirk that he had on his face as he skated away from you.

“he’s not bad-looking,” you answer. you can’t stop a small smile that grows on your face as you look down at the little gift.

during the game, you and your friends find out that this boy’s number is 43 and his last name is hughes. you can’t deny that your eyes follow him almost the whole game. you try not to let them wander, you really do. upon finding out his last name and jersey number, your friends are able to find his instagram account.

“you guys are actually insane,” you say with a snicker.

“we just found your future boyfriend on instagram, so you're welcome,” one of your friends teases sassily.

the game goes on and the whole arena is filled with chants and overwhelming school spirit as ohio state finishes off the game, winning 4-3 in overtime.

this is not good for luke. his mind has gone into a spiral of what went wrong and what the team could have done better when he remembers his bold actions during warmups. the truth is, luke isn’t some cocky hotshot hockey player. he is just an awkward college student who happens to be pretty darn good at the sport he plays. luke is charming and charismatic. he knows this, mainly because he has been told by other people. he just isn’t all that confident in using these abilities quite yet.

luke can already feel the regret bubbling inside of him because of his previous actions, certain that he has zero shot with this girl. what are the chances of him even seeing her anyway? well, apparently very high because he does see her again.

you had let your friends encourage you to wait outside the locker rooms to see if you could find the boy that they so desperately want you to meet. and then they left you. they left you wandering outside the locker rooms anxiously by yourself. in their minds, it was a way to get you alone with luke. in your mind, it was downright mean. the only people who really stand outside the locker rooms are family members and girlfriends, which you are neither of. you feel out of place and you honestly hope that luke comes out of the locker room just so that you don’t have to hover awkwardly for much longer.

then, your prayers are answered because out walks the same hockey player that had so shamelessly thrown a girl on the opposing school’s team a puck earlier. only this time, the boy looks much less intimidating. he actually looks quite friendly. when he walks out of the locker room, he is talking with one of his teammates. he looks exhausted and a bit beaten up from the loss that his team just faced, but that doesn’t make him any less attractive in your eyes.

luke sees you and immediately recognizes you. he couldn’t forget such a pretty face. honestly, that is probably the only reason that he gained the confidence to toss you a puck in the first place. seeing you smiling with your friends and looking so gorgeous while doing it made luke so desperate to try and flirt with you.

now, luke is a tad stunned. he sees you and just freezes for a moment. he decides to approach you after a few seconds of you not noticing him.

“hello,” you hear a male voice say after clearing his throat. you spin around to see the captivating wolverine from earlier.

“oh, hi..” you reply softly. both of you seem too shy to speak to the other properly.

“thanks for the puck,” you speak up, now looking up at his taller frame.

“oh yeah, no problem. i’m sure you get that all the time being as stunning as you are…” luke says back. his demeanor is still very bashful. although, he can feel his confidence swell as the conversation flows on because there is no way that he is losing his chance with you.

you find his attempt at flirting a bit amusing but still sweet. his continuous attempts to impress you and try to hold the discussion with you are honestly adorable.

“not usually, and not by anyone i would want to get to know anyway. i could make an exception for you though,” you respond, a pleased smile finding its way to your features.

“do you want to get to know me while we get lunch then?” luke asks. very smooth transition, luke. very smooth indeed.

“our schools are three hours away from each other you know…” you say. your words are meant to be taken almost as a warning. not just a warning to luke but to yourself as well.

“i have a feeling i’ll be in it for the long game,” the boy simply replies with a little grin and slight shrug. his casual answer eased you a bit and let you know that he wants to make it work out if you also want to.

you have literally known this boy for a whole two minutes of your life and you are already thinking about if you could go long distance with him. i guess he really did catch your attention on the ice.

“i’m luke by the way,” he says.

“y/n,” you reply.

you don’t dare to tell your family what school luke goes to if you guys do end up making it work.

———————————————————————-

word count: 1269

[justanotherfanartist]

heeey guys little social help here? (poll at the end)

get ready for a rare real life lore dump (yippee) because I have a social scenario I’m not sure how to handle. this is your chance to have input on my life like some sort of rpg (if you’re into that kind of thing lmfao)

(I really really hate outing my age range like this but I feel like it might impact peoples choices so. just know I’m on the older end alright)

So, I went to this nearby jazz festival on Saturday. Basically, it’s an event that pulls a bunch of local highschools and their upper and lower level jazz bands together (I’m in my schools lower level group) to compete for awards and finalist placements and stuff like that (very fun very cool experience every time) and something that’s become a habit of mine is scanning each group for anyone interesting and it just happened that there was this guy from another school’s upper band that really stood out to me.

He is genuinely one of the prettiest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on, bro is GORGEOUS and also an amazing trombone player with super clean tone (and was part of a killer trombone soli) so naturally I’m pretty smitten. For real as soon as you start playing an instrument yourself “being good at an instrument” is immediately something added to your type which makes going to these things an interesting experience.

Anyways, I thought he was attractive enough to try and shoot my shot (I do this kinda thing every so often especially if I think I’ll get rejected just as a confidence booster. works like a charm btw) so I made up my mind that hey, we all stash our instruments in the same place, so after the finalists concert when everybody goes to grab their gear and pack up I’ll go up to him and ask him if he wants my number before we all have to leave for the night. Pretty non instrusive introduction that guarantees a short conversation and an excuse for him to leave if I happen to make him uncomfortable, that sort of thing. (I love planning out social interactions in my head before I have them)

(also this is fr the strat bc a) “hey do you want my number?” gives the person a choice and b) if they do say yes awkwardly in the moment but regret it they can always just decide not to text you; it puts the ball more in their court rather than you getting their number and texting them first, that sort of thing)

so that’s exactly what I did. I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, and the interaction went like this:

“Hey, you’re one of the trombone players from (insert local highschool’s upper band) right?”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering, would you want my phone number? :D”

“Oh, I’m actually not looking for anything right now.”

“Hey, no problem.”

“Thanks though. :)”

“Yeah ‘course!”

and then we split ways.

As of today I found their jazz group’s page on instagram (basically, I’m going around and following all the ones that I thought were really good, including his who placed first just ahead of my school’s upper band in second)(we were psyched btw cus their group is known for crushing everyone so being up there second only to them felt pretty good) and I realized he’s probably following them and I actually did manage to find his page, which is privated (oddly enough he happens to be followed by someone who I very loosely know) so it’s request to follow only.

My question is would it be weird to request to follow him? Based on my instagram page and what I have up he might not be able to recognize me but I’m guessing he’ll know it’s me just because of our interaction and the follow request, but I’m not sure if I’d be breaking a social boundary if I did that.

I don’t intend to hit on him or push him for romance or anything like that— I got a clear and polite “no thanks” and I’m not going to infringe on that full stop (boundaries are to be respected always). Blanket statement I think this guy is cool and an impressively good player, I’d legitimately want to see him perform again or possibly be friends (I’m starved for jazz friends) but I’m just reallllyyy worried it’s gonna come off as creepy or boundary breaking to request a follow so I’m not sure if I should or not.

(my logic is that he already rejected a request for communication so requesting to follow him is essentially doing the same thing again and might come off as creepy or pushing it and the last thing I want is to make this guy uncomfortable. on the other hand it could be seen as completely harmless or even flattering depending on the person but I’m really not sure.)

mutuals give me opinions bc I’m curious what you think (also I’d really appreciate it if you picked something other than maybe lmao or left me a comment of your thoughts or smthn like that. I may be overthinking this)

(asterisk is for extra info for the first poll option)

*regardless of your intentions, which he is unable to truly discern, but will probably assume is still romantic pursuit

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[kyeomyun]

OH WOW ITS ALMOST 2024?!?@? oh wow... it's been... a year.

Yes I know. "Jada you left in like August and 2024 is literally in like 6 hours from now." YES YES I KNOW. I am not going to be writing for a while and I am kinda sad I won't be able too. BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT ME.

I want to just appreciate all of my wonderful moots who have made this year extremely eye opening for me. We haven't talked much in a while since school and 2023 being the year I regretted way more than appreciated. I took time for myself to find who I am but I think about you all every. single. day. You mean so much to me and I wish I showed you all more regardless of me building myself up.

@stormyjisung : my first ever moot ever. even before tumblr, we met on Instagram and let me tell you, we were simps for each other LMAO. nyx is literally the sole reason why I took time off anyways because her advice made me realize the internet was indeed altering my head very negatively. she is the person I run to, annoy, laugh with, and enjoy to talk to every single day. it's going to be 2 years since we met and every year I looked up to her as kind of... a role model. her work ethnic inspired me. nyx is just the type of person you will want to be around and talk to. but she will fucking discipline you when she think is needed. anyways, she is forever my heart, sun, moon, everything.

@wheeboo : OH MY BAE. THIS IS MY BAEEEEEE. rania. we have no spoken for a WHILE. it's been a fat minute since we have spoken a word but that one day we did talk to each other after I went away for my hiatus, oh my. IT WAS SO FUN. SHE IS SO FUN. it is just crackhead energy and it's amazing. rania inspired me as a writer so much yes, but HER. the person behind those extravagant stories? you will fall head over heels for this woman. she is funny, charming, loving, yes. just yes. sorry but me and rania are like 🤞🏽🤞🏽. once I get my life together, I will love to talk back to you.

@etherealyoungk : SKYE. SKYE SKYE SKYE. BAHHHHHHHHHHH. skye is like a magnet. that's how we are starting out. it's like you just want to be with her. it's just- you love skye ok. if you know skye, you know what I am saying. but this lovely person right here is just amazing. she is really lowkey yes but she is that person you can just chill with. like I imagine just us sitting in complete silence, someone say something dumb as fuck and then the conversation goes on from there. BASICALLY THE IDEAL GIRL BESTIE. I love skye so much dude it's crazy :((( ONCE AGAIN, I WILL TEXT YOU ONCE I AM WORKED OUT.

@rubywonu : NIAAAAA. we haven't spoken much but the times we did talk were so much fun 😭 every conversation was so fresh and funny. we are still in the learning about each other stage but once we do, WE WILL BE INSEPRETABLE. WE WILL TALK. TRUST.

@trblsvt : LIIIII. omg.. we follow each other on instagram and have not texted for a while wow. I MISS YOU SO MUCH DUDE AAAAAA. YOU WENT TO SEE WAVE TO EARTH AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO JEALOUS OF SOMEONE. WE NEED TO TALK MORE YOU TALANTED SOUL.

@icyminghao : NOELLE. MY LOVE. MY HYPEWOMAN. you are just a bundle of JOY. noelle is that someone you want to protect with your life because her happiness is everything. EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ME. it's also been a while since we have spoken because yk- life. but the times we did talk.... we spoke in caps so you knew the conversation was either juicy or just downright out of pocket. once again, she is a charmer. you will never fall out of love with noelle dude. the day you meet her, you are trapped. IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE OBV. anyways, WE WILL TALK AGAIN. I REALLY HOPE WE CAN.

@star1117-archives : wow.. long time no speak BAHAHAHA. I can say our text should not be exposed to the public. never. but lowkey, miles, you are the most savage person ever. LITERALLY. miles will shut you up in a matter of just seconds and make you rethink. but it's been so long since we texted man... we should lowkey do a reunion with the gang in the discord server we left dusty asf. ANYWAY, miles is the kind of dude that lowkey makes fun of you for dumb shit but in the most chill way possible. idk how else to explain it ;-;. he is just that someone you will enjoy to have and that friend that has your back no matter what. he protect.

@fairyhaos : my precious yena :((. it's been 2 months since we have spoken a word to each other but as like the others, I think about you EVERY DAY. she is one of the first moots I have made on tumblr and let me tell you, she is a sweetheart. it's like a small joshua :((. she is like a freshly bloomed flower and you need to nourish her :((. ANYWAYS. yena. love her. to the ends of the earth. she is such a gentle and caring friend, it's almost hard to believe you can be friends with her. that's until you bring up joshua BAHAHAHAHA. she becomes a whole different being ;-;. BUT WE NEED TO TALK AGAIN PRECIOUS.

@gyu-effect : OH MY GOD SARAH. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HAVE YOU BEEN OK?? this girl right here. BIGGEST TAEMIN STAN IN THE BOOK OK. no but seriously, Sarah and I had alot of deep talks about life the times we did talk. and I mean DEEP. but her mindset is so careful(?). she is really caring with her friends I should say and that warms my heart in the best way possible because how was I able to win someone so magnificent like you in my life :((. we should really talk again babe <3

@jaehunnyy : uh oh. my WIFEEE GUYS. MY WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OK LET ME TELL YOU. IM HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER. ITS CRAZY. INSANE EVEN. I miss her more and more everyday man :((. everyday we don't text, it's like a gap is missing. it's been a little over a month since we last texted so IMAGINE THE SUFFERING. this babe right here though is just someone you will get on one knee for and ask for marriage. that says alot about her. you start talking to her, time skip and you are married. anyways, my wifey is such a loveable wifey. we go crazy together <3

@lvlystars : NINI I AM NOT GOING TO LIE. I KEEP FORGETTING YOU HAVE A NEW ACCOUNT. BUT YOU 🫵🏽🫵🏽 she is my soul sister. we are twins. we text occasionally on instagram and let me tell you, our mind length is like- WE SEE EACH OTHER. anyways, she is my bestie, my pookie. nini is so fucking hilarious too like her sense of humor >>>>. ITS EVERYTHING. me and nini be talking to each other like we have known each other since the 2nd grade 😭😭. ANYWAYS, nini is such a character. she is always so bright but when it comes to mingyu- a whole lecture on why he is the best boyfriend. but she is so real on that so-

@mesanthropi : obv I'm not about to forget about you weiss. you see, me and weiss have a special bond. we met and decided to do a collab all in the same day. we are just built different. we are an inseparable duo that talks, doesn't talk for like weeks, and start back talking as if nothing happens. WE ARE JUST LIKE THAT. anyways me and weiss are literally besties. minecraft besties. simp besties. you name it. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY POOKIE WOOKIE. everyday without you is like a crack in my heart 🖤🖤🖤🖤

@slytherinshua : AAAAAAAAAAAA. we were still learning about each other as well but you are such a cutie patootie love :((. hopefully soon we can get to know each other more <33

@wonwoonlight @wqnwoos @idubiluv @i43shuji @odxrilove @hannyoontify @haowrld @luvhyun3 @blue-jisungs are a few extra moots which I have either just now started to talk to or was terrified to DM. either way, you guys made this year 10× amazing.

for my followers in general, thank you all so much for sticking with me. I started this account in the middle of last year but "rebranded" this year. which was kinda a mistake considering how 2023 wasn't my year (minus the concerts I've been too). but you guys made me so much more confident in writing and taught me so much in ways that did not had to be verbally spoken. I love you guys so much. everyday I come on here, I always think about how you guys are and how lucky I am to have such amazing people on here. as the days go by, I always try to remind myself that me writing is a hobby and not a competition and I have learned that very quickly with the help of you and all of my wonderful moots. once again, I want to thank all of you for racing with me to the end of this year despite all of the long-lasting breaks I have took for my mental health, thank you for simping with me, thank you for loving my way of art and expression because you do not understand... a simple reblog, a single viewer that scans our stories means so much to a writer. especially on an app where writing stories isn't the main feature. I have made accomplishments this year with my stories and my writing style but my biggest accomplishments yet was having such a wonderful audience, a loving group of moots and the sweet words you guys put in the tags. I am not going to make this very long for I have things to do going forward to the new year but... I cannot express how grateful I am for you. every single one of you.

cheers to the new year loves!!

2024, please be better for me and every other person that had to endure so many hardships this year. if not, make at least one moment where they can remember that bad things do not last forever <3

[thiirsdaygirl]

mira goes investigating

okay this is not about zukka… or atla..

thats ur warning

SO BASICALLY AT MY SCHOOL i have english second period on days 1 and 2. on a day 1 i saw in the desk in front of me (desk 3) someone wrote free palestine in sharpie 💕!! so then i was HOOKED INTO FINDING OUT WHO IT WAS. i am not joking i am litterally like hyperfixated on this. its giving quinni from heartbreak high.

ok so the first person i dmed was this girl jana, i knew she had my teacher and shes very pro palestine, so in my mind she was the most likely. plus she had english the period before me. she said it wasnt her and she didnt know who sat there. so i asked my (kinda) friend bella and she said that she thought yuzuki sat there. now bella had english in d block on the day before i found the writing, so the timing would make sense, but yuzuki is not the kinda girl to be not ignorant.

i dmed her anyways and asked her like the basic questions, do u have this class, do u sit here, she said yeah, and so i asked was this writing on the desk when u were there yesterday? (with the picture i took of the desk) and she said no. a not important fact was that she took foreverrrr to respond to the last question which was infuriating!!

so i had narrowed it down to 1st period the same day, to last period the day before. pretty close to solving if u had asked me 😼 but anyways… i asked jana to send me her class list from google classroom, and it had two people i was familiar with, taj and sofie. first i dmed taj bc hes super nice, he responded like right away and now one of my friends thinks he has a crush on me- NOT IMPORTANT. anyways he said he barely knows the people in his class, i said its ok ty and moved on.

next i dmed sofie, no joke it took her a day to respond. so i went to work and made like $15 of tips for a birthday party i worked at, and then i got home and FINALLLYYY i got a text back. she said yeah she had the class blah blah blah, and that isabelle sat there, so i asked her who sat next to isabelle (because isabelle is NOT the kinda girl to write free palestine on a desk) and she said she did. PERFECT. so i asked her, was there any writing on the desk? she said YEAH ACTUALLY I THINK THERE WAS. thats when i had my detective moment…

so i knew it had to be last period. but yayyy!! i had no CLUE what class that was. i did the sane thing and emailed my ugly rat ass english teacher man, he has STILL not emailed back. i basically asked him what class he had e block on day 3.

like a while ago i forgot my ipad charger in english class, and while i was in french i went to pick it up. i saw this person alfie, and this person marcy who used to be friends w me. i talked to my rat english teacher ab how someone took the charger, and i left.

so that was d block, and i have french on day 2 and day 3, so i thought that there was a good chance that that class would also happen in e block (last period) on a day 3. i checked saturn, and found alfie and saw, sure enough, (my teacher) e block creative writing. i also checked who else was in the class, one other person, maddie.

maddie is in cheer with my friend… madi 😭 LOLL. but i had her added on insta so i dmed her and asked her the basics, she said yeah. so i asked her who sat in desk 3?? ALFIE. now here comes the part of my little detective journey where i am STUMPED. BECAUSE ITS OBVIOUSLY THEM. but i checked their saturn which had their socials linked and dmed them on insta, they had 2 followers, and 1 followed. it was pretty obvious they do not use instagram. but i dmed anyways and i asked 3 questions. are u alfie? do u have this class? who sits in desk 3? (this was before i texted maddie)

now i am DESPERATE. i KNOWWWWW it was them i know it in my heart. and i added them on snap they havent added me back. i know where they work but i am NOT CRAZY. just saying……….. I JUST WANT CONFIRMATION!!!!!!!!!!

i think if they dont add me back on snap, ill email them 🎀

[kierancampire]

Am I being paranoid?

So just to go over for anyone who doesn't know/forgot. The first guy I "dated" was someone I met through my old online porn blog, he convinced me we were in a relationship and going on our first date, he knew I didn't want to do anything sexual and I denied him multiple times, but the next morning (it was a sorta double day date), this time I got too scared to say no, and when he got my body, he ghosted and blocked me, it was all he wanted and he deceived me. Then there was my last ex who repeatedly sexually assaulted me, and then there was the online stalker I dealt with for over 2 years. Also anecdotally, any time someone in recent years has found my Instagram, it's been for sexual reasons.

So when I woke up at 3 am, I got a notification that someone started following me on Instagram around 11 pm, which I found really weird as my account is dead, there is no reason for anyone to follow or engage with it, it's a graveyard (except those very few people who somehow seem to find it and ask for nudes on there?). So that already was odd. But then when I go to check this person's profile, I see it's a man whose entire profile is dedicated to his fitness and weight loss journey at the gym. My gym.

While I follow my gym on Instagram, just for updates, I never like anything, never comment. So the fact he goes to my gym and tags the gym in all his posts, I have only two theories as to how he found my account. The first is by going down the gym's followers list and looking at/following people who catch his eye. The second is he is aware of my nudes Reddit profile, and either similarly found my Instagram somehow, or went down the gym's follower list, recognised me, then followed me on Instagram.

The thing is, as much as I post/share online, I am completely different in person. I am quite private, very protective over things, and like my distance. And obviously the gym is close to my home as I'm not gonna pick a gym on the other side of the country. Due to trauma related to my ex and school, I was so paranoid and anxious when I first joined the gym, but recently I've been letting my guard down, getting more comfortable, and feeling more at ease there. However, if a man has taken interest in me (meaning he saw me, followed my dead account, and could want something from me cause why else follow a strangers dead account online?), goes to my gym, is in a "private" space for me, and could follow me home, this all just makes me exceptionally uncomfortable. Also the fact he added me so late at night, that also makes me suspicious.

So that's my question, am I being paranoid and over thinking this man's actions, why he followed me, and potential safety issues? Like could he have followed/found me for another reason, and it's nothing to worry about? As I fully admit past trauma could be clouding my vision with paranoia. Or is it weird to anyone else that he seemingly went down the gym's follower list late at night, saw my account, followed it, could be interested in me, and has access to an area I go to?

TL;DR a man followed my dead Instagram late at night, my best guess is he did so by going down the gym's follower list and took interest in me, and due to past traumas I'm concerned about safety, as we share the same gym. I'm worried about him stalking me/trying to pressure things onto me, but I also am unsure if this is just my past traumas making me paranoid, if he followed me for some other reason and just happens to go to my gym, and I don't need to worry about him.

[foster-the-world]

Not true

My cousin has started a really successful career. She founded/runs two high end hair salons and is now selling her own hair products + self-tanning products.

Her parents weren't the most stable when she was growing up. My Uncle is a great Dad. Always there for them but has never been financially stable. My Aunt suffers from some undiagnosed mental health issues. Some type of mania + depression with some pill abuse thrown in. She either over the top nice or the opposite. Also, not good with money. Now my cousin has a family of her own. My Aunt and Uncle help out a lot. Babysit multiple times a week, etc, etc.

My cousin has a solid instagram following. 40K followers. So not famous but a lot of people. She's super model pretty. She's open about her plastic surgery and post multiple times a week.

Last week she wrote a story post about how her 13 year old self would be so proud of her. Which sounded sweet. Then she goes onto say her parents are amazing and did the best they could but as a family they often had to skip meals because of money. She claimed it made her so malnourished that her skin and hair were falling out/apart. She claims at 14 she got herself THREE FULL TIME jobs due to the families financial issues. This is most decidedly not true. First, how could 99% of people have three full time jobs let alone a 14 year old who was in school full time and a cheerleader. I don't recall her having a single job in high school but maybe she did some kind of normal high school kid part time job. Second, while her family often had money troubles they didn't skip meals. I guess there's some stuff I could have missed but there is no way it was enough to become so malnourished her hair was falling out. My Uncle has always been hugely overweight. While he has his fault he always put his children first and would never eat enough to be overweight while his children were not eating.

Luckily, my Uncle has noted how he is not on Instagram and does not read her content. Thankfully. I'm sure this post would deeply hurt him.

Would someone reading really believe a 14 year old works 120 hours a week? I'm sure kids she went to high school with still follow her online. Is she not worried they will point out its not true? She's super close with her sister. She knows her sister is going to read it. What is she thinking when she writes these things?

And she should be so proud of herself. She doesn't have to be malnourished in high school to be proud of herself. She has two beautiful children and three successful businesses. That's super impressive. No reason to lie. The whole thing baffles me.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

just for fun!

Thoughts, opinions, and a just for fun timeline. Google and a couple tumblr rabbit holes later....disclaimer lots of rumors with receipts for rumors.

I too find it weird that the same people talking about Johanne used to describe MK, Rikke, and Fanny the same exact way. Down to the same wording. Except they used to go after MK'S tattoos like they're a bad thing. People were awful about her, and the rest. Now Johanne and his family and friends are getting it too.

Now they act like a friendship, spanning 7 years, is something "more"  bc he likes her posts. Lol I bet he likes a lot of people's/friends posts, guys and girls. Probably a lot of private accounts too bc a lot of his friends went private bc people kept posting his friends' videos and pics. I don't understand why he can't like any of the accounts he follows without it causing a stir. Lol liking a post isn't a big deal lol. People can be friends, it's not like he doesn't have TON of female friends lol. I doubt he's still pining for her, and probably hasn't for a long long time.

It's not like he hasn't dated since or before (Olivia who rejected him supposedly 2017).

And he's older now and probably has sown his wild oats and wants to settle down with the woman he loves (Johanne). And I think, personal opinion, that now he has someone who matches him, loves him as he is, and let's him be just who he is. All goofy funny husky puppy energy Alex. That's great imo.

Busy boy in 2018.😂😂😃😃 he was young.

Short timeline with receipts:

Threesome rumors:

Jan 13-14 2018

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

/

People were also posting about topless photos of Gee with Alex. They're deleted now.

· Mar 9, 2018When she finally responds to your desperate love letter text that you know she opened 35 min.… twitter (while in England)

Strange tea about Alex, take with grain of salt etc

May 17 '18#1310

"Does anyone follow Alex H. on instagram? His story yesterday so much cringe, or the hashtag #phatasswhitegirl = Alicia A.  :eyeroll: she's the white girl that has fame for being a white girl with a big ass after that scene with Ivar, trying to get her attention alluding her? she's way out of your league, kid."

"He is a creep, he follows her even on spotify when she goes under a secret username but she doesn't follow him back :rofl: smart girl."

Lipstick alley source (I google alex hogh gee hirst threesome and it popped up, the above links. And quote/gossip came from there.)

May 29, 2018 the weekend/pics he took of MK were posted. Cryptic post from her around this timeframe.

Jun 17, 2018 alex hogh with rikke westi red carpet its official twitter:

"Alex Høgh with Rikke Westi via alexhoeghandersen: "Rikke has always been too cool for school, but now it’s official. Watch out. She’s special. Huge congratulations my friend"

August 20th, 2018, Anonymous asked:

"What kind of relationship is there between Alex Høgh Andersen and Mary Kate Slattery???"

"As far as I know they are friends. For a hot minute I thought there might be something but that passed"

So they stayed friends it seems. Maybe they just realized they're better as friends? Maybe the rejection was mutual after all? Maybe he wasn't trying to be serious, just seeing how it goes? Or vice versa we will never know. Good for them. That's mature to stay friends. 😊 Her boyfriend type seems different from Alex. Not a bad thing to each their own.

Late 2018-2020 he dated a few others, one I think named Kaja? I've researched enough for a day. 😆 😆  there were blondes and brunettes, several women, one at the Zulu awards. One sitting on his lap at distortion which was posted on tumblr May 30, 2019 (edited to fix date).

That twitter/x post and IG posts don't seem to be focused so much on privacy. As some claim he's all about, I've always thought he was only private when he wanted to be. That's his choice. 😊😊 So I'm still not getting how Johanne ever "violated" his privacy.

So MK only likes his RC posts/posts that have Johanne in them. That's sweet she probably LIKES Johanne too. She's probably happy for her friend.

Seems like what friends do to me! Like posts and Support each other and be happy for each other. 😊😊😊

Another long post, but as ever don't expect it to be read. Just want to say what I want to say. 😊😊😊

PS I don't think it's weird that he's dated around before finding someone serious. You gotta shop around, see how the "clothes" fit before you buy them. Dating is what people do before they find their match. You gotta figure out what you like/want/need and what you don't like/want/need.😃

[rndyounghowze]

What You Might Not Know About…

Jacques Ze Whipper

Jack Lepiarz or “Jaques Ze Whipper” or “Jack the Whipper” has been whipping it good for about fourteen years now. You may know him from his appearance on America’s Got Talent when he whipped a piece of straw from between Simon Cowell’s legs. You may also know him from his viral short videos where he sings parodies to songs like “All the Single Ladies” or the Animaniacs “Yakko’s World” song all while cracking the whip to keep time. However, there are some things about Jaques that you might not know about. We got to chat with him for a short while to bring you some trivia like…

Jack Comes From a Circus Family

“I grew up in the circus. We were with the Big Apple Circus until I was about 6 years old and then we did a bunch of Renaissance Faires when I was a kid. I have a weird parentage. My father is a circus performer (His father John Lepiarz currently “Mr. Fish” with the Super Scientific Circus) . My mother, now retired, was a college professor of anthropology with a doctorate in anthropology. She was very big on me getting a normal education so I kinda split time between normal school and the circus growing up.”

Jack Started On The Streets Of Boston

��“I went to Emerson College. I’m like ‘I have all these circus skills, why don’t I just try to do some street performing and see how that goes?’ It went as well as you would expect for someone who’s not very polished to go, which is that it went alright, there was nothing catastrophic, but it wasn’t great work. But it helped me kind of polish the act. Then I was like ‘well alright now I have this slightly more polished act let me do Renaissance Faires’ so I started working at King Richard’s Faire when I was twenty. 

Father’s Advice 

“My father, who had done the Renaissance Faire circuit for years, said ‘well what makes a good, successful Ren Faire act is the character and the comedy. You don’t have to be the most talented circus performer as long as you can make people laugh and keep them engaged and a character is a great way to do that.’ One of the things that we wanted to do is to make the whips less threatening. We kind of played around with the idea of being a goofy character and that didn’t quite translate. We decided to try being the French character because, you know, everyone at the Ren Faire is English, Irish,  Scottish. There aren’t a lot of French characters at the Renaissance Faire. We tried that for a couple of days and it went alright. Then the last day of my first weekend I drew on the mustache and it was like everything clicked. People understood this show is dumb and that it’s okay to laugh.”

Jaques Fans Are Why He’s On Tik Tok 

“[In 2021] a couple of longtime fans of mine came to my show, recorded bits of the show, put up 30-40 second clips of the show on Tik Tok and the first one got like three hundred thousand views, the second one got two million views and the third one got two point two million views. I was like ‘oh okay apparently there is a demand for Jaques Ze Whipper in the world that I had never known’. So I started on Tik Tok and from there it’s kinda been like, as I find I have the brain space to expand I expand to a new social media and so from there I went to Instagram and from there I went to Facebook and then Youtube.”

Digital Show 

“As my following has grown on social media there are these people who are like ‘come to the UK, come to Germany, come to Indonesia’. There’s no way for me right now to easily get to those places and even if I could get to those places the amount it would cost for me to get there would be prohibitive for a lot of people. So I said ‘why don’t I do this show where we can kinda do the best of my show and the secret show that I do with Ses Carny and by making it a digital show what we could do is get people from all over the world and that helps us keep the price point pretty low’. Ten bucks is still too expensive for some people that I’ve talked to but I think that it’s reachable for most people who are fans of mine. You could get four people to all pitch in $2.50 and just share one ticket. That’s fine. 

My plan is to do a show like this every year around this time for as long as WBUR will have me. We did a walk through in the theatre this week and they said they’re fully on board for another show next year and the year beyond that so I think my plan is: once a year do a digital show like this and assuming the interest is still there bring in other performers and kind of make it ‘Jacque’s Circus Hour’ and use it as a way to profile some of my wonderful colleagues who I think are just as if not more talented than me who just for some reason or another haven’t gone viral yet”.

The Physical Toll 

“A lot of people don’t understand quite how physical the show is and the amount of work that goes into making sure that my body is able to hold up under the stress of the show. The last couple of years I have been semi injured while performing and it’s been amazing how something as little as [spraining] my wrist in August of 2021 and the entire ‘21 season…there were certain tricks that I could not do without a lot of pain. Then this past season I tweaked something in my right shoulder just before the season started or early in the season and it never felt quite right until I had a chance to just rest it for a few weeks. (You can see this video where he sings a “Sound Of Silence” parody while remarking that his Physical Therapist would be mad because he wasn't cleared to whip with his right hand yet.)  I think that’s the biggest thing. The show is an athletic performance even as I’m just up there just cracking whips and singing songs. It is a workout.”

Get your tickets now! Virtual Ticket sales end at 5pm Eastern on Friday Jan. 27

[songtwo]

hi<33 srry if you’ve talked about it before but how did u get involved in music journalism or the music industry in general? what did u go to school for?

hiiiii i got my job as a music journalist by applying to this magazine/blog from my country that was looking for writers, designers & photographers. i had been following their Instagram page for a while bc i rly liked their content & so i saw the opportunity & went for it! honestly i was very lucky bc this was in august 2022 and i had 0 writing experience (one of my articles had already been published w this mag since february but at this point I didn't even know i found out abt that in October 😭) anyways yes i think they were just looking for people who were passionate about music and rly wanted to do this bc some questions were literally like what's ur favorite band recommend us an album etc.

so that was basically it. at first we'd just write articles/reviews etc but the mag has been growing & so now we have like deals w The concert promoter company here so they like give us tickets so we can cover events & since it's a small magazine there's only like 12 ppl all of us get some yk.

when i was an a&r last summer was pure luck bc someone from school did her internship at that record label so she posted abt the vacant and i contacted her boss and that was also it.

i think the best thing to do nowadays to get in the music industry is have an active Instagram account and follow Everyone. magazines, blogs, journalists, photographers, radio stations, venues, labels etc etc. focus especially on the independent ones. i started doing this about 6 months ago and honestly every few weeks or so they're posting they're hiring/taking internships and a lot of the time u dont require any experience.

also make sure to follow people involved in the music scene in Your country u cant model yourself after miranda sawyer if ur not a white english girl so this is also v v important

I'm studying international relations at the worst uni and it's honestly been soooo useless i hate it so much but it goes on to show how school doesn't always matter in the real world.

another important thing is u gotta put yourself out there if u wanna be a writer just write and submit it to digital magazines they're always accepting pitches and stuff or make ur own substack and it's the same for photographers or any kind of artist..... i think digital magazines r a really cool thing & v helpful to gather experience & build ur portfolio so don't be afraid!!!

[burning-bubble-tea]

I follow this one person who gives an advice column mostly concerning how to navigate different social situations (oh look that’s probably a sign for something…. Anyway) and often times the discussion of friendship breakups are mentioned.

They’re usually described as dramatic and painful but the friendship breakups I’ve had were quiet and unexpected. And frankly is mainly because it’s a drift away and I there wasn’t a confrontation.

Like it makes sense, I’m not a confrontational person and I do believe that those friendships had a place in my life so happily, I don’t regret the time and money I spent on that relationship because relationships are not purely transactional.

One person i essentially made friends with because she provided me with a service and we became friends through that. I’ll always remember our time together fondly it’s just unfortunate that she’s a deeply hurt person and she was starting to lash out at me in ways that showed how incompatible we were.

The other friendship breakup was weird because it wasn’t really me that went through the breakup. Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if this person still thought we were friends, just that I was still in a social circle they burned a bridge.

They still like my Instagram posts but they never said anything to me. It kinda goes to show how I don’t really matter to them in their current stage of life which is fine.

Our friendship did reach an awkward business phase where every interaction felt increasingly like distant small talk when we used to be able to talk to each other so easily.

I do miss those times but they also sort of developed into a person that was incompatible with who I became. The proceeding years before they burnt the bridge with the friend group they were really bothering me. It was hard to put a finger on as it was a multitude of actions that made me feel certain ways. It was sort of like a bunch of tiny cuts that slowly became infected.

I smiled and stayed silent as I thought the behaviour that was making me upset and annoying me was just me being unsympathetic and hateful and I do regret all the time I felt feeling guilty for having feelings. I never lashed out which wouldn’t have been a valid response but I didn’t allow myself to fully feel annoyed, upset and frustrated and so most of those emotions festered.

When they burnt the bridge they did the breakup with someone else and I was just not even talked to. After spending half a decade being their close friend, all it took was two years of them becoming close to someone else to completely forget me. Which doesn’t exactly feel great.

I’m overall happy I didn’t receive a burnt bridge treatment. But also it would’ve been nice for the time that we spent together to be acknowledged one way or another.

Like I know it would’ve been more hurtful to be treated that way but I guess the grass is greener on the other side.

It’s just weird how quickly I was discarded. We were still in the same friend group, it wasn’t like we drifted away. We primarily drifted away in the sense that we didn’t call each other all the time. But it felt like all of a sudden I wasn’t invited anymore. And being a least favourite friend of most every friend group I was in in my childhood, it didn’t exactly bubble up pleasant memories.

I had such a hard time having a close friend in my childhood. I was close with my neighbourhood friends but they went to different schools as me and we naturally drifted apart once we stopped playing outside as often.

One girl I got close too got ill and became homeschooled.

My closest friend from preschool moved away at the end of kindergarten. (Also her mother was very mean to mine).

Whenever I didn’t have a close friend I’d play tag with the boys but being a child that was very queer and trans but not knowing, I knew it felt very weird.

I got along with the neurodivergent boys but while we bonded, as they started feeling more comfortable in their masculinity, I become less comfortable around them.

I remember acting in a way that was weird and felt irregular and wrong for me just to fit in with the other boys.

But they stopped playing tag and started playing soccer. Grounders and pretend became childish and I definitely was not maturing as fast as them. (Though in high school I definitely matured way faster then hahahahaha)

I did have one “best friend” in elementary school but even then that only lasted a few years before I was tossed aside because I struggled to get along with others. Also he was and still is a jerk.

I was the weird lonely kid who cried a lot in elementary school. A lot of the girls liked me because I was nice (and basically one of the girls cause y’know trans kid who didn’t know they were queer and could make use of the girlies and the gays alliance) but I wasn’t a girl enough to be in the girl friend group (curse the binary gender roles of 2010’s elementary school).

But my parents always said high school would be a fresh start for me and I’d do much better there and they were fully right.

It also helped that at that point I was identifying as a gay boy (who was very much in denial and ignorance over my transness) so I was able to make connections with other queer weirdos.

That’s when I became close with the person. Five years we spend being super close. But once again they moved on and I felt sorta left behind. They were making new friends (who I was friends with as well) but they all became closer as I was left out. Primarily because I was found annoying which okay fair. I’m still annoying, I just find I don’t care too much about it anymore.

Also this is the part where I’d talk about my current close friendship I met around this time but this isn’t time for me to be sappy about that shit I’m unpacking trauma through a Tumblr post and feeling sorry for myself, no room to discuss the immense positive impact they’ve had on my life ew gross.

Anyways that was a really long tangent.

I just always feel like I’m being left behind sometimes. It’s kinda nice now. Being older, there’s so many different avenues to go to and so many people are healing their inner child and it isn’t seen as bad to be a bit immature as an adult. It’s whimsy or whatever rather than cringe. Obviously depending hahahah, if you’re still being mean and rude in ways children are that’s pretty cringe. But being sad or happy in the way children are, well that’s not too bad is it. It’s very healing.

I dunno, I’ve mostly come to peace to my terrible time in elementary school. And my bad relationships in high school (though overall high school was way better for me and that’s primarily due to how awful elementary school was)

Either way now the little awkward annoying queer kid is out at the club with the other queerdos. Drinking water and standing at the edge of the mosh pit having a great time.

[crimsun-n-clover]

im into a new girl. i mean, not really a new one. i mentioned her in an earlier post

figured out that i’m not really attached to the other girl i talked about. she’s great, but she’s wayyy too much like me. it’s good to have things in common, but when it’s to the point that we both have hallucinated the same shit it’s a little off putting. not that she did or said anything wrong, she’s super sweet and i like being around her, i just don’t think we’d make a good couple.

anyway. new girl. gotta come up with a fitting name eventually because her actual name is almost obnoxious and i love it. we met on my fandom instagram account through a mutual friend putting us in a groupchat together.

she’s an amazing artist and we obviously share interests. and she’s hot. like. fucking stunning. so i was just gonna keep that locked away in my little brain like a normal fucking person until one day she randomly unfollowed me and followed me again. which was weird, because we’ve been mutuals for months, but it put the thought of her stalking me into my head and there’s no prying that shit out. like. what were you looking at huh? nothing to see here. just a bunch of text posts and if you’re willing to dig through the highlights there’s some more personal stuff. and then immediately after that i’m on her close friends?? and she tagged me in the next post she made??? weird.

but that was the catalyst to me going huh. i guess i’ll allow myself a bit of swoonage. i told mickey and she lost her everloving shit man. she goes full conspiracy mode because “stevie, that’s what I DO when i like someone she’s into you :)))” kid. sweetheart. i hope you know that you’re the statistical outlier in every situation and i won’t assume that anyone else does that.

so a couple days ago new girl posts about how she wishes she had a girlfriend for valentine’s day. that she’s so hot and interesting and it’s absolutely unbelievable that no one is taking an interest in her and let me just say, i gotta agree. of course, she’s wrong, IM taking an interest, but i’m not gonna be weird about it. i take some screenshots and scratch out her username and send them to mickey. she. goes. fucking. FERAL. “STEVIE ITS MEANT TO BE LOOK AT THE ROCKY HORROR POSTER IN THE BACKGROUND” kid i’m gonna rock your shit if you keep feeding into this and make me all mushy and useless again.

of course, she went to revisit the screenshots and yelled at me for scratching out the username. because i know she’s a meddling bastard who will insert herself. she spends a solid two hours vetting everyone i’m following and can’t find her because the girl is on my other account. absolutely rabid dedication. fuckin adore this kid man. my stalking skills are superior and i’ve already scoped out her pinterest and it made my chest hurt because damn. she’s so. sigh.

this story is kinda nonlinear at this point. shit kept going down for me because the girl live-streamed a few days in a row and i’d join a reasonable amount of time after she started (like. 30 seconds) and just dwell in the chat while like three other people maximum were there. she would end the lives sometimes if no one would join and talk to her on cam but she always went on right when my parents would get home so i couldn’t join. she’s so charming. let me just. list some shit

we already got some stuff in here so. does art, same fandoms, likes rocky horror, feminine, all that shit. she also does roller derby, archery, carpentry (she has this dollhouse in her room that she built herself it’s SO FUCKING RAD), boxing, sailing, cheerleading, all sorts. she likes literature and fashion and apparently grew up in a cult? she kept dropping absolutely insane lore. “oh yeah i got a knife pulled on me at school for being gay haha” and the way she talks she’s so charismatic i hope i die. she’s so enthusiastic about her interests like “i was looking at a boat today that can get up to ELEVEN KNOTS” cool im obsessed with you

she’s so my type i’m gonna rip my skin off and give it to her. she’s feminine, she’s bubbly, she’s fucking weird, kind of a bitch, has strong (correct) opinions, that’s like everything im drawn to romantically. personality big enough to keep me balanced out, knows what she wants so i can enjoy my acts of service love language, LITERALLY MY TYPE.

im so fucking mad. she lives in toronto and i have absolutely no chance regardless. im just a little terrified of her, especially dming her. when i can see her face in the lives it’s wayyy easier but i’m so intimidated by her typing style yk? fucking whatever man i’m being dramatic.

it’s three in the morning so it’s technically february 8th. one year since the initial breakup.

[trollmaniac]

deciding to post this to the tumblr community to comment because this has started to frustrate me to no end.

i have an ex-friend who tried to sabotage me in high school (it failed because surprise! im a nice person who minds their business 99% of the time). she has always tried to get into some kind of singing as a professional career, whether it be songwriting, musicals, whatever. problem is she has no singing talent. because of this, she has decided to use the drag community to flaunt her “singing skills” and get the attention of as many people as possible.

before i delve into why this is an issue, let me explain: she is mentally ill. she did not have a good childhood. parents were also pretty shitty. i have tried confronting her before about this with a little “hey maybe seek therapy and/or meds, im sure all of your friends will support you” and she proceeded to tell me that all of her friends left her (supposedly because of this), tried 1 (one) therapist and found they “didnt help”, are on 3 different meds (????? okay. was this to brag to me or something? cool, i guess), and she wanted to keep this “private” (after posting it to all of her instagram followers to talk about her struggles). i tried messaging again with something along the lines of “therapy takes time and you might not have the right therapist, also all of instagram doesnt make this very private now does it” and i got blocked, of course. because she doesnt listen to any negative comments and instead cuts out those people from her life. sure, whatever, you do you hun.

my issue is this; ive been told she advertises everywhere she can that she is a Cisgender, Heterosexual Woman (cool) who is also a drag queen (not as cool). i would be cool with this if she was an ally, but shes sticking her nose into somewhere she shouldnt. because of the kind and acceptive nature of the drag community (and LGBTQ+ community and general), they took her in and allowed her to perform as a drag queen. her singing is still questionable, but now she’s parading around as what my town likes to think of as their very own LGBTQ+ drag queen icon that they can also flaunt to show our town isnt homophobic or whatever.

i would have no problem with this if she was a drag king! the point of drag is to challenge gender sterotypes, is it not (correct me if im wrong, but be nice about it lol)? but shes just…. putting on some makeup and a wig and saying “okay i can perform here now”. and you know how i said my town thinks she’s pretty neat? whoever organized the pride parade this year had her LEAD THE PARADE. and my nonbinary friend, who had just undergone top surgery, went to the parade of course because why shouldnt they participate in pride? they were damn determined to go lol. so then little miss pageant or whatever strolls up to them and their siblings during the parade and goes “omg hiiiiii do you remember me???” and “thanks so much for coming!!!!” as if it was her parade or something. like no. dont thank anyone who went. this is their parade, not yours. fuck off. but i cant tell her that. no one can, because she’ll remove them from her life. all we’ve been able to do so far is watch and be entertained from afar because she wont take any direct confrontation if it isnt praising her and her “talent”.

anyway yes im angry and yes im posting this, but im not going to tag it because part of me wants it to sink into the void of tumblr and never be seen again. i have a feeling someone is going to go and flip this whole rant to make it look like im a villain or something because i didnt source facts or i misworded something, yada yada, you get it. but if someone reads this and go “yeah, i agree, what the fuck is up with that?”, then i think that would be pretty neat.

[star-teez]

'By My Side' Chapter One - Up all Night

We're all born beautiful. The greatest tragedy is being convinced we are not.

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This, to most, is by no means the love story we tend to find in books or movies, I'll tell you that now. I'm Wooyoung by the way, or well, I'm his internal monologue. I'll be here to guide the story when needed so, get used to me. But anyways, I'm sure you want the actual story. Let's go back to where this story started.

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~Cue comedic, yet annoying, tape rewind sound~

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"Wooyoung! It's nearly three in the morning, why the fuck are you still awake?"

The boy groaned in response, used to the routine by now, "I can't sleep. I really feel like you should know that by now, it's literally been–" The ringing in his ears and a sharp stinging pain throbbing in his cheek as his mother slapped him made it impossible to finish the sentence.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again, you ungrateful little shit. Do you know how much I've given up for you?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied as if it's second nature by now and sat his phone on his desk.

'Get some sleep Wooyoung. You have school in a few hours." He nodded and tossed the blanket over his head waiting for his mother to leave the room.

After a few minutes, he reaches for his phone and notices someone replied to his Instagram post he made a couple of hours earlier. He had been messing around with his makeup and had posted his setup as well as the finished look.

"Pretty!," the comment read, "you should really do your makeup more for school^^."

Wooyoung smiled a little and liked the comment, although he didn't immediately recognize the account. He doesn't typically get comments praising his work, quite the opposite actually. He checked who the account was run by, but it didn't have any posts of the person or their name. He shrugged it off and went back to his post.

"Aaaa TY!! I might actually today, heh I can't sleep so I have time", he responds and looks over at his desk, his products still sprawled all over it.

He reached over and turned his lamp on before getting out of bed. He walked over to his closet carefully looking through it to see what catches his attention. Despite his wardrobe being mostly black, he has a few brighter pieces. A baby pink sweatshirt he had cropped caught his attention and he grabbed a pair of light ripped jeans to go with it. He pairs it with a simple black belt, some rings, a couple of necklaces, and white Converse. A few final adjustments later and he's satisfied with his outfit.

"Now, what to do for my makeup." He sits down at his desk and starts scrolling Pinterest for inspiration, eventually settling on pink and blue clouds for his eyeshadow, and everything else being fairly neutral.

After finishing his makeup Wooyoung grabs his phone, checking the time and decides to just relax until he has to leave. He opens up Instagram to check other comments on his post and gets a text. It's the same account that commented earlier. He checks the account again and realizes they follow him now.

"Hii^^ I know this is weird, I just think you seem cool." Wooyoung smiles and hearts the message as it isn't uncommon for him to get messages from people who follow him.

"TY!! By the way, you said I should do my makeup for school. So, do we go to the same school?"

"Mhm, you'll figure out who I am later, I think I'm actually gonna talk to you today." Wooyoung laughs slightly and again likes the message.

"Well then, see you in a bit I guess, mystery man(?)."

"Yes, man. Also, we have the same lunch, I'm sure we can talk then if I don't see you before^^."

"You definitely don't sound like a stalker at all. But, oddly I trust you...enough to agree to this anyway. I gotta go though ttyl."

Wooyoung backs out of the conversation and goes back to the person's account. Having a few minutes before he needs to go downstairs for breakfast he looks through who's following the account. Sure enough, it's people from his school, mostly popular kids though.

"Wooyoung! Breakfast," he hears his mom shout. He quickly puts his phone up, grabbing his headphones, keys, and wallet as well before heading to the kitchen. "Sleep well?" she asks as he enters the room. He nods and sits down at the table.

"Thank you, Mom," he says, taking a few bites of the pancakes in front of him.

"I see you," she pauses, "dressed up.

"A school friend asked if I could do my makeup, so I wore something that goes with it," he quickly responds, trying to shut the conversation before it starts.

"I see. Well, I need you to drop your little brother off. I have to go to work early and I can't," she says gathering her things.

"Yes ma'am, I wish I was woken up a little earlier then. You know I prefer getting to school early."

"You need sleep, Wooyoung. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You look absolutely exhausted," She messes with his hair and kisses him and his brother on their foreheads, "Call me if you need me. Or if you need to come home, I'll call the school and have your father come get you."

"Yes ma'am." He finishes his food and walks over to the sink and washes his plate off. When his mother leaves he calls for Kyungmin to come downstairs so they can leave as well.

"You're gonna be there a little early okay," he says, messing with the little boy's hair and Kyungmin only nods in response. They head outside to Wooyoung's car and start making their way to school.

After dropping his little brother off he gets to the high school just a few minutes later. Luckily, a spot closer to the front is still open so he parks there and makes his way into the building.

"Wooyoung!" he hears as he's about to leave the main hall, "wait for me!" For one reason or another, he pauses and looks around for who's calling him. After a few seconds, a kid comes running up to him. San.

No way he thought to himself it couldn't have been his account could it?

As the other boy catches up to him he says, "See, I told you I'd talk to you today." He laughs a little and smiles.

Wooyoung pauses for a second and blankly stares at San, "Huh? Wait, that was you?"

"Guilty as charged. I uh, didn't know how to come up to you without you thinking I was gonna be like my friends. So uh, I texted you." He awkwardly smiles again, his face being noticeably redder than it was before.

Wooyoung backs up a little towards the bathroom, "Yeah, well. It didn't really help. You seemed nice over text but–"

"Wait. Wooyoung," he reaches out and grabs Wooyoung's sleeve, but almost immediately lets go. "I'm not here to make fun of you or hurt you. I said you seem cool because you do and I wanna get to know you."

"I don't think you understand. You and your friends have a," he pauses for a second, "reputation. I have no reason to trust you."

San sighs but nods, "Come here," he says, grabbing Wooyoung's sleeve and dragging him into the bathroom. Without pause, San hugs him. Pulling wooyoung into the point he's resting against Sans's chest.

"W-wa–? Let go of me!" Wooyoung pushed himself off the other and backed away again. "What was that for?"

"Look I needed a way to convince you I wasn't gonna hurt you and that was the first thing I thought of," he looked away slightly, "I'm sorry."

"It's- it's fine. It just scared me," Wooyoung replied, "I'm gonna go to class now." San nodded and moved to let him out.

Wooyoung quickly left the bathroom and tried to get to his class as quickly as possible. He was the first in the room. He sighed and sat down at his seat before putting his earbuds in. He just barely heard the first bell ring as the class started filling up.

He sighed but put up his earbuds and started getting out his things for class. When he looked up from his bag he saw a small piece of paper on his desk.

Opening it up the note read, "He likes you. Don't just ignore him." Wooyoung looked around the room trying to find who left the note. When he looked over at the door he saw Seonghwa, one of San's friends standing there. Seonghwa nodded and walked off after noticing Wooyoung was looking at him.

He put the note in his pocket and tried not to think about it too much. This is the class he does worst in and he needs to focus after all. The second bell rings and the teacher walks into the room, shutting the door behind himself.

"Alright, is everyone here, let us see," the teacher starts mumbling to himself, "good, glad to see everyone could make it today. As you all know by now, we have our midterm tests in a couple of weeks," the class lets out a collective groan, "I know but, we still have a unit to finish before then. Let's get started."

He makes his way to his desk and grabs a stack of papers, "Wooyoung, would you mind helping me pass these out?"

"Yes sir," Wooyoung mumbled, making his way to the desk.

Vocabulary, great he thought to himself, looking at the paper as he passed it out. When he finished passing out the papers he handed the extras to the teacher and went back to his desk. He grabbed the textbook from under his chair and flipped to the back, immediately starting to look for definitions.

He felt his phone buzz and looked at the now lit-up screen. It was a text from San. He stopped and pulled up the notification, reading it from there.

"Hey, can you come to the bathroom in a few? I wanna talk." Wooyoung turned off the screen and went back to the worksheet in front of him when his phone buzzed again. "Please, I won't do anything like what I did, I promise."

He sighed and put his pencil down, picking up his phone and opening the conversation, "When and which bathroom?"

"A few minutes or whenever you finish your work. You're in History, right?"

"Yep, three pages of vocabulary. I'll text you when I finish this page." He smiled a little, though he didn't know why and put his phone down. He rushed through the definitions, abbreviating and cutting words out whenever he could.

When he finished the page he raised his hand, "Mr. Kim, may I use the bathroom?"

"What page are you on?" The teacher responded, starting to walk his way.

"I just finished the first page."

"You may. Hurry up though, this is due at the end of class."

"Yessir," Wooyoung said, grabbing his phone and heading towards the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm on my way." He text as he rounded the corner to the main hall. He opened the door to the bathroom to see San already there.

San smiled a little and then looked away, "Seonghwa told you, didn't he?"

"Oh, you wanna talk about that? Yeah, he did. Kinda, he gave me a note." Wooyoung said, making sure the door is shut behind him. He rests against it and just looks at San. "Why? You don't even know me. Also, I could have sworn you've made fun of me for being gay."

"Heh, not my proudest moment. I uh, didn't know I was too when that happened. Or well I did but–"

"It's fine, sorta. I get it at least. But, you didn't answer my first question."

San's face seemed to get a little red, "Well honestly, I'm not sure. Like, I know I think you're attractive and I know I get super awkward when you're around but I don't know why." Wooyoung nodded slightly and moved a little closer to San, who was still almost completely across the room sitting on a changing bench.

"I'm the first guy you've liked aren't I? How about this, we talk for a while, get to know each other and all. We can hang out outside of school and stuff, then I ask you again in a couple of weeks. If you know why in two weeks, we can see where things go from there. Okay?"

San nods slightly, "You are and like, I don't know. It's different. I'm not like this at all with girls," his voice trails a little.

"San," Wooyoung said as he moved over to the bench and sat down beside the other, "have you ever had a genuine crush on a girl? Sorry if it's too personal, I just."

"I don't know, well. I at least haven't liked a girl in the same way I like you. Like, it's just so different. With girls I'm all confident and stuff but," he pauses for a second, "I don't wanna talk about that."

"It's okay, give it time. You'll figure it out. I'm here if you need to talk about it okay?" Wooyoung smiles and slightly rests against San without much thought.

"Oh um, we better get back to class. I'll text you okay?" San says, slightly pulling away from the touch.

"Yeah, okay, I'll see you later." Wooyoung gets up and slowly starts back to class.