#but so many other places im just like ok but why
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i did overall really enjoy elden ring… in hindsight though, i think the reason i didn’t get as into it was because as i played i couldn’t help but feel that it had a problem with cohesion. there’s so many beautiful areas and different stories and mechanics and themes and symbols, but at least while i was playing i felt like it was just too Much. there was a lot of breadth, but at the expense of depth. i don’t know if this is a general critique or maybe just a matter of it not being my cup of tea — i just feel that the story and game mechanics are pulled in so many different directions that it just doesn’t all work together in the end. there was a lack of cohesion, something i think open-world games run the risk of already. but where games like skyrim and breath of the wild succeeded by having a consistent throughline, i felt it was missing in elden ring. the game was absolutely stunningly gorgeous! i just wish there had been a bit more tying it all together.
i’d love to know more about other people’s experiences though!!!
#it kinda felt like everyone was just fucked off doing their own thing#one of the best pair of areas though in my opinion are caelid and the haligtree#because theyre so deeply connected to the relationships and interactions between characters#even volcano manor got that benefit!!!#but so many other places im just like ok but why#why is that whole town in liurnia sunk. just for funsies. we r not telling <3#i even think of other fromsoft games like bloodborne. u ask me what bloodborne is about in 3 words im gonna say werewolf eldrich horror#but elden ring didnt feel like it had that cohesion for me#like its trying to be About so much that it kinda fails to be about anything at all#also so many enormously important plot points are just so fucking easily missable dont @ me i was here for when they didnt even#give you npc markers 😭😭😭#i really unironically think the game would have benefitted so much more if there were more sections where you could coop with npcs#dont Tell me millicent is on a journey. Show Me. let me go with her#let me runn around with blaidd in nokstella#getting to do that with mini ranni was so FUCKING fun lol and it gave ranni SO MUCH more character#but like …. the other characters feel so flat in comparison idk#this is a whole other post tho lol#elden ring
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🐰🩹❤️🩹
#my body has already started detoriating :(((#like it just feels so sad and unfair that my body started getting sick when i was 21...#(i know that many ppl experience it even from childhood </3)#and to watch ppl my own age around me still be healthy and painfree makes me so envious#why did have to start falling apart as early as in my 20s???#so many ppl get to be healthy and feel ok until they start getting older and if they keep healthy they will stay ok for most of the time#im sick and i have pain constantly every day .... and im 25#and it will only gets worse and that scares me like skskksks#if it's already like this.. if im this sick and have this pain when im 25 how will it be when im old??#and i get sick with envy when i think abt the fact that other ppl around me#get to have years and years and years without pain and ilnesses#but for me that will be the main part of my life#some days it just hits me like a truck and im like wow yeah this is my life and it will keep being my life#i can only be grateful it isnt way worse. bc i know it can be and is so for other ppl#and i can barely cope with this. how would i cooe with that?#cope*****#this makes me feel sm like i just dont wanna become old#i want to live my life until the point where the universe is like no more for u!!!#but if that point is beyond im old i just dont know. idk if i can deal with that...#plus alone... i wont have kids. and many ppl do have kids just to have someone be responsible for u#and be alone and vulnerable and weak and powerless in like a nursing home#with employees who abuse me lmao#no.. i dont wanna be old :< if the world was a nicer place i would be brave and face it#but this society is so fucking awful. so awful.. no.
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Reading up on the people on my election ballot and there's some combination of "can ANYONE tell me what their policies actually are???" (Specifically with the smaller offices) VS "Oh, so YOU'RE the reason why Indiana has an abortion ban! Duly noted!"
#speculation nation#there are 4 indiana justices with retention up for a vote (on my ballot at least) and 3 of them signed the abortion ban shit.#so guess who im going to vote against retention for :]#i know theyre not policy makers in the same way that the governer or whatever is#technically theyre just there to make judgement calls about what the law actually Is.#but. But. that doesnt change the fact that theyre the ones that signed the abortion ban into place.#So What if they didnt make the policy themselves? they still chose to steamroll opposition and put into place a ban from the early 1800s#indiana is among the 16 worst states for abortion now. thanks to these assholes.#And So. well apparently indiana's never successfully voted against retention for any of its justices#but Why Not Start Now? im fuckin pissed. a lot of people are fuckin pissed. and these 3 justices have got to go.#we dont get to vote for who takes their places but at least they MIGHT be justices that are willing to hear us out.#and regardless. i want to get back at them for it. :] so even if they Technically did their jobs. i want them Out.#anyways i went looking at the representatives and senate seats and the democratic nominees seem fine.#some of the smaller offices dont have democrats running. just republican or libertarian.#dear god help me im gonna be voting for a republican this election. just one.#specifically bc it's an office that doesnt have anything to do with politics. and the guy running against her seems uhhhh#like he really doesnt care for the position?? he just wanted to put libertarians in more view.#so im like. ok for this one we really should have the person who's already got experience with the job and actually Cares about it.#for some of the other ones... god i dont know. these were the ones who were awful about listing their policies.#might just not touch the county school shit at all. theres Nothing on these people online and i have no direct stake in this#man. many things to think about. i still got some time b4 im voting but i wanna be prepared.
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...they also misgender kris...
so tbh i deleted the first ask because. i haven't had any time to look into it and i dont want to sit down and just accept random information given to me just in case its misinfo (specifically the grooming. like. not to out ourselves but we have a history of being groomed so we take that shit seriously). but ill keep what ive been told today in mind. For context, idk who this person is that much except for seeing them in our notes sometimes and on twitter
I could go on and on but im ngl im a little overwhelmed so im just gonna leave it at that. if i get more asks about this ill just not post them but ill read them. because it's petty of me to react on impulse instead of thinking about whats a more efficient and helpful way of responding to it
but i will say this: yeah for those listening heres a reminder that i dont like incest btw. and i never WILL. i dont have a DNI but i will say that. so if you come to my blog you cant expect me to feel any comfortable with you for very long if i find out. thanks. that will be a clear one from me
#im not ASKING for proof or things to discredit anyone#we just have other shit to deal with IRL so getting a new problem like this on the internet is like#anyway hope everyone STAYS SAFE#if you see something weird you block it you make sure its the right info etc#AAGHG i dont want my blog to be used as a place to accidentally spread wrong info if it is#IF IT IS#do you understand why getting big information like this is stressful#im not the biggest blog but i AM an artist so it means my posts have the chance of getting more traction than others because i draw DR#IS this an ok response .#like i have so many like. concerns. do you understand
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Tiktok realized I was feeling off with my friend before I did
#pov: you slowly start hating your bsf *song on the back sick of your voice sick of your face sick of~*#and i was like whaattt noooo i dont hate *him* and thought of that one while at the time we supposedly were a trio#i saw two tiktoks like that#and then he send me one like 'haha why is tiktok showing me that?' or something#haha lmao dude same!! i also saw 2 of those i dont understanddd#and its been months#and just the other day i was talking with my mom and i told her how I felt and how hes been annoying me for no reason or done/said stuff#that bothered me#sbsjjsjs#and also. the last months im speaking daily with someone else and maybe not even exchange a word with my 'bsf' even though we sit together#in the bus and like- when sometimes i compare the 2 of them or how their reactions to stuff i say are-#idk i feel like hes constantly judging me or doesn't care about what I have to say so sometimes i dont even bother#like at this point im looking forward to the days hes not taking the bus back home so i can listen to music instead of sitting in silence#its an unspoken rule to always sit on the same place and i dont want to break it. even though the other day he was like 'sit on the front#cause im studying'#ahhshs ugh the other day I was like 30 minutes anxious he would judge me about something I did wrong but he never did#like am i just making shit up?? idk sometimes he just annoys me and i feel like an asshole cause we've been friends for so many years but#i do feel a better treatment by the new people im hanging out with most of the time like;#i never pay attention when you talk/oh yeah i remember that random thing you mentioned last year#and like i get he doesn't care about what we were talking about but literally saying 'i never pay attention to you 2' like ok. why even#talk to each other then? ... Also im sick of everyone who says shit like 'once we graduate we'll never see each other again' like yeah#if you have an attitude like that. like half of us are neighbors. i literally heard someone say 'can we be friends until july to go to the#concert?' and the other person was like why are you talking like that why wouldn't we be? and my bsf is one of those people who cant wait#to graduate and never return here#...oof ok im gonna go take a bath Goodbye#sugarenia talks#sugarenia diary#sugarenia has friends#sugarenia doesn't have friends
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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before starting yume nikki i found out that in stars and time has a demo n ive been seeing it around lately so might as well try it and. i might have fallen in love with it immediately. especially siffrin...... absolute top tier protagonist right here i just Know
#everything from their design (SO shaped....) to their silly attitude is vv charming#n that one bit where theyre just like hell yeah i love just existing next to my friends without saying anything. theyre just like me fr fr#i like the others too tho !!!!!! especially mirabelle shes so neat :3#i need to buy the full game now or it will be the end of me#the 'memory' option mildly terrifies me. what is that supposed to imply for later things ..........#ok im not done talking abt siffrin i just cant believe how like. theyre so many things i love in characters ESPECIALLY playable ones like#theyre basically like. all of the things i enjoy abt therion minus the initial Trauma. tho im pretty sure theyre abt to go thru some shit#since. this is a time loop game#although they seem to be missing an eye already so who knows !!!#theyre also not from the area we start out in compared to Mirabelle and Bonnie and i think Isabeau?? which is interesting#Odile also isnt but she has a confirmed home place#i apologize in advance i just know siffrin is a future blorbo i can feel it .#why did he just nya . as a reflex when hitting a table.#i like how everyone seems to have different nicknames for each other#oh my god are they gonna abuse the time loops to make this one (1) joke hit better. ohhhh my god#im in tears#yippee first death !!!!!!!#NCJSKHS??????#no yeaj i love this game and siffrin actually. holy shit. 'okay youre over it now' ok yay 💕#'you got a memory of looping! youll always remember this.' WELL. OKAY (FEAR)#siffrin trying to talk to people right after jumping back in time is just how i do conversations normally#HIM USING TIME LOOPS TO HAVE BETTER REPONSES HE FUCKED UP BEFORE. REALIST SHIT EVER#oooooo it keeps siffrins level ups but not the rest.. very good attention to detail very good#does that mean siffrin can get like. ridiculously busted compared to everyone else#YOU CAN SIT ON STOOLS !!!!!!!!!#oh i was wrong abt isabeau hes not from here either. city boy...#oh i hit the end of the demo . buying this later or ill explode#isat#ok. yume nikki time !
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hi rosi! well, i was the anon from yesterday or whenever about the fantasy about being with you and read all your tags so like...i guess i'll be an emoji anon! i'll decide by the end of the ask which ill use i guess lmao. how was your day? i kinda wanted to ask like, so i guess you just go in your car and hangout at parking lots or whatever a decent amount, is that just to get some alone time? i forget what your current living situation is. also like what do you do for fun?! i know your a lil weed girly and you do your art (which i love btw, i want to try and buy a piece next time i get some kind of spare money) but is there anything else you like to do? i hope you had a good day whenever you get around to answering this<3 (btw i wanna smooch you i am telepathically kissing you right now) - 🎤
Hi hi hi!! Welcome 🎤 🫶💖
My day was pretty good! How was yours lovely? 🥰
Hmmm why I chill in my car is kinda complicated tbh. But I guess the main reason is so I can smoke and just kinda relax and enjoy myself ya know?
Yes yes yes I am a lil weed girly 🥰😇 and I do love my art (any sort - painting, photography, coloring 💖, scrapbooking, trying to get back into drawing)
I’m also a huge music nerd! I went to a performing arts high school and trained in vocal music. Learned a bunch of music theory and did a buuuunch of voice lessons. My goal was to be an opera singer but life had other plans.
Other than that I’m kinda boring. Just like chilling and watching shows (occasionally movies but I’m a sleepy baby so I usually fall asleep pretty fast).
#ok ok ok let’s get a lil more detailed shall we 😇#I usually reply only in the tags but I KNEW I was going to run our way too fast so I needed to say the basics up there (which felt weird 😂)#I had a pretty good day so far ngl! I was there for moral support for my friend (ended up taking forever but everything turned out good)#now I’m just chilling in my car for the night 🥰#as for why I spend so much time in my car - at the beginning of the year I had to move back with my parents#pls don’t get me wrong I’m super grateful to have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in… its just not the most comfortable place#the main problem I have is not being able to smoke anymore (I used to be able to smoke inside at my last place so it’s just an adjustment)#I was hoping to be able to smoke out on the deck downstairs but my dad didn’t like that either#so I just chill in my car and smoke in here and watch and color and paint#I mean another reason is I’m a night owl and my dad sleeps in the living room (due to health problems) and I don’t wanna wake him#I guess long story short is I’m more comfy in my car than in my room which is sad but true#not to mention I live in the basement and there’s so many spiders ☹️ if you didn’t know this about me - I’m terrified of spiders!!!!!!!!#thank you so much for the compliment on my art 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I wish I could give you a big hug!!#absolutely no rush trust me I understand not having the cash for extra things (also by the time you’re ready maybe I’ll have more available)#but yeah like I said other than weed (which can be paired with anything tbh 😂) and art - music is my other love#i sing all the time (especially when im alone haha) and one of my fav things to do is watch mouthdropping talented performers#usually they’re broadway based but they can be all types of genres…. I just usually lean towards the ballads#the songs that have lyrics that hit your heart and music that warms your soul - the ones that make me sob uncontrollably 😂#I have a feeling I’m running out of space sooooo enough about me!! how are you?! how was your day?? tell me more about you?!#I noticed you picked the 🎤 …. do you sing??? or did you just randomly pick it?#omg!! I felt your kiss 😳 I’m telepathically sending you kissies right back to you 🥺🥺🥺#thank you for the ask 🥰🥰#I’m shocked I still have room???? like you’re telling me this isn’t 30 tags? ok sounds good#I’m super proud of myself tho#usually I run out of room SO fast and then I get sad cause I either have to redo it or not say everything I wanted to#anyway I hope you have such a wonderful day/night 🥰😘😘#ask#🎤 anon
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OK SO WHAT ABOUT ALASTOR X FEM READER EXCEPT READER DOESNT KNOW HOW TO REACT TO HIS CHIVALRY
So this takes place before they start dating and the beginning of the relationship. Reader basically has never met a guy who has chivalry(or is respectful) like ALASTOR, so when Alastor’s mannerisms come out, reader just looks at him like “wtf are you doing?” BUT NOT IN A MEAN WAY, more like in a confused way because they’re from a time where chivalry isn’t as popular(especially to women in general) and reader was raised to be tough(but it’s still nice to get treated like a lady). So whenever alastor acts like that reader just gets awkward and shy.
IM ASKING FOR THIS CUZ LIKE THE GUYS NOW HAVE NO RESPECT OR CHIVALRY like alastor😔😒 (ik not ALL guys but most guys now and days are jackasses)
Hnnng I fucking love this ✨️
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
TW: Harassment, Men being nasty
Description: ☝️⬆️
Back when you were alive, men never did the sort of things that Alastor does unless they wanted to get laid
Most of the men you knew had tendencies to act like frat boys or old perverts
Only having one goal in mind and if they got rejected then they got fucking nasty as hell with you
On top of that, you didn't have the luxury of growing up to be soft and helpless like some people
You had to be strong and look out for yourself, you rarely looked to others for help
Not even your own family
Some people didn't even look at you as a woman, just as some tough badass who didn't need anyone's helping hand
At least you hoped that how they looked at you
Not that you would've rejected the offer if anyone actually tried to help you out, everyone needs a hand now and then
The only people who ever offered any sort of help were horny guys who offered to help you let off some steam with them
Fuck off
But Alastor grew up in a very different time than you and his way of treating you always gave you whiplash
He would never dream of asking you to fuck within the first few days of knowing each other, or even the first month wtf kind of animals have men turned into??
You don't even wanna know, Alastor
His little pet names alone made you flustered but his actions??? A whole other monster in itself
When you first met him this crazy guy kissed your hand like you were in some regency movie
You were so shy afterwards that you couldn't look him in the eyes, your cheeks hot and pink
One time, Alastor actually took off his coat and put it over a puddle for you step on
Didn't you just beat up some guy for ripping it???
You could've just stepped over the puddle in the first place??? Why did you do that??
"I did what any proper gentleman would do for a lady such as yourself, Y/N..!"
You gotta look away at that point or else he would see how hot your face is getting, feeling flustered
Alastor actually asked you to dance to a song that wasn't meant for grinding and sweating on each other??
You blush and mumble something about not knowing how to dance to music like this and instead of making fun of you Alastor teaches you how
He's a wonderful dancer and leads the entire time, not letting you make a fool of yourself in front of everyone
You've never felt your heart do skip so many beats before
You're trying to ignore what some random lecherous demon is saying about your body and the things he would do to it??
Guess what-
"Now that is not the way to start a proper conversation with a lady of Y/N's status, or any lady for that matter."
Alastor scares him off for you and won't even accept your thanks in return, making your legs wobbly
Once your suffering with feelings for Alastor then every little thing he does makes you turn into a gooey puddle
It doesn't stop when he's suddenly courting you, only getting worse with each romantic act
He brings you flowers, dedicates entire broadcasts to you, asks you to take evening strolls with him
He does all this and never even expects a parting kiss from you, simply happy to be in your presence
When/why the fuck did men stop acting like this?? This is so much better than how they were back when you were alive-
You get flustered just at the sight of him now, wondering just how he's going to make you swoon today
Alastor is slowly getting you accustomed to how he believes you should always be treated, happy that you're no longer confused by his actions
This motherfucker just Pavlov-ed you into falling for him
This was so fun to write!! I hope I did a good enough job!!
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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Harana | Jungkook
harana (n.): the act of wooing someone by serenading them
→ summary:
Unwilling to settle down with you after five years of dating, Jeon Jungkook decides to break up to chase after his dreams. In the aftermath, you leave your hometown, desperate to forget your past and relearn what it means to be on your own. Two years later while on your way to work, you pass by a familiar voice singing songs about a girl he had left behind.
{or alternatively: Jungkook still sings the love songs that he wrote for you. He still means them, too.}
→ genre: busker!au, exes to lovers, angst, humor → warnings: jimin is insane and kinda crude (he has some issues going on), jungkook is a pathetic wet bunny but he's trying his best, oc has So Many Problems, so much arguing and yearning, ambiguous ending??? but my god there is hope!! the humanity of it all!! → words: 16.1K → a/n: HOLY SHIT IM BACK (kinda) and happy new year!! yeah ok its march but im relearning how to form coherent sentences so be patient ;w; this is the first installment of my hfoh series that i teased a LONG time ago... i made it a resolution to complete this series by the end of the year before i kms (Keep Myself Safe) so here's to a brand new year :D (oh god @ universe pls be kind)
part of the “heart full of hugot” series
Two days before the incident, your shower nozzle decides to explode.
Okay, you have to admit that statement is a little misleading. Shower nozzles, in all its nonsentience, do not randomly decide to explode no matter how much you try to defend yourself to your landlord. Maybe your grip had been a little too harsh that morning, or maybe hanging 5 pounds of hair products on the handle had been a bit too much for the old sport to handle. Or maybe, just maybe, the universe was warning you about the incident.
Whatever it was, it doesn’t erase the fact that your shower would be out of commission for the next week or so (though your landlord seems adamant about prolonging your suffering as long as possible). Until then, you’re going to have to find some other ways to keep the grease and grime from building on you. Heavens know that you already have a thriving ecosystem living in the back of your couch—you don’t need another one growing under your armpits.
Lucky for you, you have friends. More importantly, you have friends who have showers. There is one problem though—all your friends live on the other side of the country.
It’s been two years since you moved to the Big City™️, but you have done little to grow your social network. Call it introversion or depression, either way, you have no more contacts on your phone than you did when you left your hometown. Well, except for one person, if you could even consider him one. Frankly, you didn’t have a choice.
“Welcome to my humble abode, stinky,” Jimin greets you as you enter his house. Your nose is instantly assaulted by the smell of Bath & Body Works® Sweet Pea, reminding you once more why you didn’t consider him a friend.
“Hey,” you reply gruffly, shucking your ratty shoes near his entrance. Your shoes look incredibly out of place amidst the sea of designer Chelsea boots and a singular pair of thigh-high heels. You take a glance at his living room, already feeling worse about yourself tenfold.
You had met Park Jimin by complete accident, much like how his mother probably felt when she first saw him too. You had never known anyone quite as… interesting as him, to put it lightly.
When you got your job as a hostess for a luxury bar and restaurant, you figured you wouldn’t make many friends with your coworkers. Everyone was so… pretty, but in the shiny, untouchable sort of way. Almost all of the servers were as gorgeous as the models you’d see in magazines. You hadn’t known that the owners only hired a certain “demographic” of people for their restaurant, and you were equal parts flattered and disgusted that you’d somehow made it (though you suppose your bullshitting skills were all to thank).
Unsurprisingly, even the bartenders were gorgeous, including one Park Jimin. He did have an aura to him that screamed “I’m a cut above the rest and I know it,” but that could just be the gold chains dripping down his neck. You almost mistook him as one of the patrons who mistakenly made his way behind the bar, and knowing the sort of clientele you’ve had to deal with so far, you wouldn’t have been surprised. It took a couple of weeks before you finally found out who he was (and what his fucking problem was).
Jimin was a part-time bartender with a full-time job as a bitch a self-made entrepreneur. Which is to say, he sold… tasteful photos of himself on the internet. You had nothing against his line of work. In fact, you would go far as to say you didn’t give a shit what he did outside of your shared workspace. But if there’s one thing Jimin is, it’s that he hates being ignored.
So when you were adamant about not oohing and aahing at everything that makes Park Jimin perfect, he made it his self-appointed mission to befriend you. Or at least that’s what he claims, but given how he treats you lesser than the shit that cakes his cheeks, you have a lot of doubts. Perhaps he’s never made an effort to make a friend, hence his inexperience with being a decent human being. Or perhaps he’s just an asshole, but who is to say? The point is: he’s the only person you knew in this godforsaken city who would likely allow you to use his shower without being awkward about it and that’s that.
The worst part about being an acquaintance with Park Jimin was that he lived in the richest area of Downtown but he wasn’t old money, that’s for sure. His entire essence screamed overconsumption, and his myriad of little trinkets littered across his apartment confirmed your previous assessment. You wouldn’t be surprised if you opened his freezer and found ten types of ice sorted assorted by color and shape like the extra bitch that he was.
He made his money through sheer force, and it would have impressed you if he wasn’t, you know. Him.
“Bathroom is over there. I placed a towel and other shower amenities that you can borrow,” he says pointing to a door with a large “FART ZONE: ENTER WITH CAUTION” sign taped to it. You don’t ask.
“Thanks,” you say flatly. You wait patiently for his out-of-pocket comment.
Like clockwork, Jimin smirks. “Sure thing. I gave you the super heavy-duty stuff. Figured you’d burn a hole through my expensive towels with how stinky you are, with your yeasty cu—”
“Aaaand I’ll be done in a few minutes. Thanks again Jimin,” you interrupt, making your way to the bathroom and slamming the door with as much force as you can muster. You hear something fall as the door shuts, and you vaguely hear Jimin mutter something about his “fart zone” signage.
You begin to prepare your shower routine, humming lowly as you go about your business. You try to ignore the suffocating scent of ten million diffusers entering your nostrils, wondering for the umpteenth time if Jimin is suffering from long-term olfactory dysfunction.
“Focus, Y/N. The quicker you shower, the quicker you can get the fuck out of here,” you whisper to yourself. However, in your haste, you knock over Jimin’s towel by accident. When the towel falls, a sheet of sandpaper slips out from underneath it, and you stare bemusedly until it finally hits you.
“YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH!”
From behind the door, you can hear Jimin’s infamous cackle. “Did you find the loofah? I got it just for you, darling!” he shouts back through his laughter, and you just grumble back in response. How on earth no one has strangled him to death, you have no idea.
“Whatever. I’m gonna shower now! Go beat off or whatever the fuck you do in your spare time,” you grouse, stripping as quickly as possible.
When the first droplets of water hit your body, you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. You had both anticipated and dreaded going to Jimin’s house, but you desperately needed the shower. So you go through your routine, trying to find some semblance of relaxation throughout the process. However, it seems that Jimin was yearning for a little bit of attention as he chose to recline on the other side of the door and chat your ear off. Peace was never an option, it seems.
“Hey, Y/N! So why haven’t I seen you at work recently?” Jimin hollers from his living room. Despite the wall separating you, his voice manages to retain its volume.
You squirt a large glob of Jimin’s (expensive) conditioner onto your hands. “What do you mean? I go to work every day. You were the one who hasn’t been clocking in.”
You can hear Jimin scoff. “Um, correction! I went to work last Friday, which so happened to be your day off. If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed you were avoiding me.”
And right you are, you think. But instead, you say, “Yeah, what a coincidence. I’ll be back to my regular schedule on Monday, though.”
“So that means you didn’t see the Justin Bieber wannabe stationed outside the restaurant then?” Jimin asks, voice miffed. “The guy suddenly sat down by the entrance window and a whole damn crowd started to appear! The absolute nerve of these people—don’t they know Park Jimin was just past the doors?”
This provokes Jimin to go on his long epic soliloquy, which you’ve learned to drown out over the past two years. He could go on hour-long tirades if he wanted, and any interruption from you would just bounce off his nonfunctioning ears. And so, you allow his voice to fall to the back of your mind, similar to white noise if it wasn’t so grating.
However, this was likely your greatest mistake. If you hadn’t been so exhausted, or if Park Jimin hadn’t been so damn annoying all the time, or if the stars had aligned just right… Maybe you would have been forewarned about the incident. It’s as if the universe was screaming at you to pay attention, but alas… You were standing on the proverbial highway, unbeknownst to the incoming traffic because you had your metaphorical AirPods on.
So there you are, completely showered but none the wiser to your impending doom, naively looking to the future with unsuspecting eyes. Even if you had known of what was to come, would avoiding it even be possible? In hindsight, you suppose not, but you still kick yourself for being so blind. If only you’d steeled your heart, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt like vomiting in front of a crowd of innocent bystanders the very next day.
xxx
Monday comes and your shower still isn’t fixed. Jimin makes the benevolent gesture of allowing you to use his shower in the meantime, though you’ll only partake in his offer as minimally as possible. He does mention that he’ll need at least an hour’s notice, warning you about “accidental voyeurism.” You shudder to think of what sort of horror you might find if you did visit him without warning, and you pray for the continued well-being of your retinas.
On your way to work, you’re too busy watching cute videos of animals to notice the unusual flock of people idling close to your workplace. When you get closer, however, the growing commotion is enough to rip your gaze away from your phone, and the sight of the large crowd makes you stop in your tracks.
It is 4 pm and the usual line of waiting patrons should not start piling up for another three hours, so this confuses you more than anything. You shuffle closer, squinting at the crowd until you notice that they aren’t lined up at all; instead, they have congregated into a large circle, but you are too far to see what they are surrounding.
An accident? You worry, wondering if something terrible happened. You tiptoe above the heads of people, subtly moving forward to take a better look. Curse you and your curiosity. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself to see something grotesque or astonishing, but instead…
It’s worse.
Inching closer, you can begin to hear a soft thrumming of a guitar and a gentle singing voice that causes alarm bells to ring in your ears. The warm melody digs up old memories of a time long past: of ballads sung outside your childhood bedroom window, of promises whispered under Spiderman sheets, of tender caresses tucking stray hairs behind your ears… They flood your senses, but all you can feel is dread.
It can’t be who you think it is. You accidentally elbow a guy on your way to get closer, unsteadying his grip on his phone.
“Hey, watch it! I’m filming a totally not-staged TikTok over here!” He yells, but you can hardly pay attention to him when you feel unnaturally drawn to come closer, still.
You’re nearly at the front, with just a couple of teenagers standing between you and the (not-so) mysterious street performer. But the distance is enough, and your breath catches. You can see him—
Black hair partially hidden under a bucket hat. Boots bigger than Pangaea and a pair of eyes equally as large. Dark ink snaking down his arms, peeking out from under oversized sleeves. Piercings that could rival Park Jimin on a good day. He isn’t facing you, but you can still see his big doe eyes, gentle sloping nose, and pretty lips stretched into a handsome smile.
Your heart is thundering in your chest. This can’t be happening, you panic. After two whole years of rebuilding and reshaping yourself, relearning how to be yourself and not… not just his girlfriend.
Jeon Jungkook stands before you, busking in front of your workplace of all locations. The universe could not have been any crueler to you.
You—you had been known as nothing more than Jeon Jungkook’s high school sweetheart. Buried memories of snide comments from jealous teen girls fill your mind, reminding you of the time when you were coined a simple side piece to the main attraction. Decor, as they would call you. Nothing more than a girl who happened to snag Jungkook before people realized he was going to turn… hot. A hot guy who could sing. An inevitable chic magnet, as they would call him.
And now, years later after much therapy and soul searching, your worst nightmare is standing in front of you in the flesh. This is what you will eventually dub the incident.
At that moment, however, there is little to no time to dwell on naming this ongoing core memory. All you can feel is the adrenaline pumping through your veins, as well as the nausea rising up your throat. You stumble backward, blatantly shoving onlookers away as you struggle to find some air to breathe. In hindsight, you probably should have backed away as subtly as possible, but you hope that your dyed hair might be different enough that Jungkook wouldn’t know it was you if he had glanced your way.
Even when you stagger towards your work establishment, the walls cannot perfectly muffle his soothing singing. You can’t make out the lyrics to his song too well, but his unmistakable voice is hard to ignore. Working as a hostess, your station is also coincidentally as close to the door as possible for maximum torture.
This can’t get any worse, you think as your mind races with conflicting emotions. You thought you had moved on, thought you were past the pain and the memories, but seeing Jungkook again, unexpectedly, stirs up a storm of feelings you thought were buried deep. Anger, hurt, betrayal—all rush to the surface, threatening to overwhelm you.
But there is no time to unpack all that baggage right now. Time will continue to march on, and your job is still on the line. How can you have the time to have a mental breakdown when you were still living paycheck to paycheck?
But even as you try to push Jungkook out of your mind, his voice echoes in your ears, his image burned into your memory. It's as if the universe is laughing at your misery, reminding you that despite all your supposed growth, you are still just you.
Painfully and pathetically you.
As you struggle to pull yourself together, a familiarly loud voice rings outside the edge of your consciousness. “Hey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you here…” Jimin greets you, his usual jovial demeanor halting midway when he sees your panicked expression. He clears his throat, perplexed. “Umm… Are you alright there, girl? You’re looking a little pale.”
You do not even have the mental capacity to wonder why Park Jimin was miraculously early to his shift, nor why he seems genuinely worried for you. Rather, all you can do is wave him off and use what little time you have before the restaurant opens to steel yourself for hours of melodious torture.
“I’m fine, Park. You should get to work,” you grit out, wiping your sweaty palms on your uniform. Normally, Jimin would have teased you about the obvious wrinkles on your skirt.
“You’re not the boss of me,” Jimin huffs, always the contrarian. He thinks better of it, however, and softens his tone. “Are you feeling sick or something? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
You freeze, perhaps giving yourself away a little. “I’m fine,” you repeat.
“You know, if you refuse to elaborate, I’m going to have to retract your shower privileges,” Jimin taunts with a smirk.
You feel a migraine growing by your temple, making you wince. God, why must men be the source of all your problems?
“I’m just… a little annoyed by the busker outside the restaurant,” you eventually admit, trying to be vague. Unfortunately for you, Jimin hates beating around the bush and would never take your crap if he knows something is up.
Unable to withstand the weight of his unimpressed stare, you clarify, “He was someone I used to know, that’s all.” You aren’t going to be any more specific than that, though you imagine Jimin gets the picture. You zip your lips, hoping to whoever is causing you pain that Jimin would somehow let the matter drop and leave you to your misery.
You brace yourself for his onslaught of questioning to come, and… it doesn’t happen. Instead, when you glance at Jimin, he is mysteriously stone faced. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a few minutes, but he doesn’t show any signs of wanting to tease or ridicule you. He simply watches you with a pensive expression. You can barely stop yourself from staring back at him, slack-jawed at his silence.
Of course, you aren’t just going to question your luck, or what little you have at least. So, you stay silent back and fidget uncomfortably.
Finally, Jimin seems to snap out of his strange reverie. He fixes you with a bizarrely sympathetic grin, patting you affectionately on the back. “I see… Well, if you ever need a drink tonight, head over to the bar for a little sip. I got you covered,” is all he says in response before sashaying away.
That was so fucking weird. You want to chase after him, perhaps beat the truth out of him. Jimin is nothing but a scheming dick, and you aren’t about to let him roam free with such sensitive information about yourself. Just as you’re about to stomp his ass (perhaps to relieve some of the building tension from your weary soul), your manager pops his head from his office door.
“Y/N! Make sure you’re logged into the booking system. There’s going to be a party of 20 coming in about an hour,” he reminds you, shooting you an apologetic look. You nod back with a sigh, swiping the booking tablet from the hostess desk and scrolling through the logs. Sure enough, it is going to be a busy night despite being a Monday evening. Perhaps a little busier than usual, in fact.
Whatever. You will use whatever distraction you can get, and perhaps the approaching noise from the restaurant patrons will be enough to drown out the sound of his voice.
You aren’t religious by any means, but you pray to whatever higher power exists that Jeon Jungkook doesn’t somehow decide to enter the restaurant. Stay outside, you plead. Outside the restaurant and your life, if possible.
Throughout the evening, you do your best to push aside the memories that threaten to resurface. You greet customers with a smile, lead them to their tables, and ensure their dining experience is pleasant despite the anxiety poisoning your insides. It's a routine you've perfected over time, a shield against the chaos of your emotions.
As the night wears on, you can feel Jimin's eyes on you from across the restaurant. You sneak glances back at him, and you blanch at his pitying gaze. If the restaurant had been slightly less crowded, you would have flipped him off.
He’s probably enjoying my suffering, you think darkly. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you straighten up and do your best to appear more unaffected. Just as you do so, you can hear Jungkook perfectly hitting a soulful high note.
“I’m so sorry for thinking I was strong,” you whisper to the universe. “Forgive me for my insolence.” You clench your fist in anguish, ignoring the confused looks from the customers in front of you.
By the time your shift comes to a close, you are completely and utterly drained. You feel like a snail that has been continuously salted over the past eight hours, and you cannot help but cheer in relief when the clock finally strikes two in the morning. You have to wait for the last few diners to make their leave, but otherwise you are ready to let your bed swallow you whole.
You stand by your hostess desk, leaning your head against it with a defeated sigh. Jungkook’s voice had died down only a few minutes ago, and you hope that by this point he has mercifully left the premises. You want to take a peek to make sure, but just as you’re about to make your way to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder stop you in your tracks.
“‘Sup, bitch.” Jimin still has that weird, pitying gaze pointed at you, though his words don’t match it. “Are you okay to go home alone tonight? I can bring your dumb ass home if you want.”
You shove his hand away, ready to bite his head off when you think better of it. If Jimin drives you home, then that lowers the chances of seeing Jungkook down to pretty much zero.
“You know what? Thanks,” you grouse. Jimin smiles at you winningly, and the image of it brings a shiver down your spine. You hit him, creeped out. “Hey. Stop that, will you? You’re being really weird?”
Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Me? Weird? At least I don’t look like a damn firework ready to explode just because my cringelord ex-boyfriend is singing sappy love songs outside—”
“Shut the fuck up,” you seethe, stomping on his foot. He yelps in pain and slaps your shoulder in retaliation.
“Ouch! Watch your ogre feet! My shoes are worth twice your monthly rent I’ll have you know,” he bristles. He breathes deeply, likely finding his inner calm (which you doubt exists). “But because I’m so nice, I’ll ignore your earlier transgression and blame it on your underdeveloped amygdala.”
You don’t know what’s more surprising: the fact that Jimin knew what an amygdala was or that he was forgiving you in the first place. “Whatever. Let’s finish closing up and then head out. I’m exhausted.”
You make quick work of your task and when you’re ready to head out, Jimin is already waiting by the backdoor. He’s twirling his car keys with a finger and gestures for you to follow him. As you make your way to his car in the back parking lot, you catch sight of a lone figure standing next to a beat-up pickup truck. He’s leaning against it, his hands busy tuning a battered guitar.
Your breath hitches, and you immediately feel nauseous. Of course the incident has yet to end. The night is young, after all.
Jimin accidentally slams the backdoor closed, and the noise wrenches Jungkook’s attention away from his ministrations. Immediately, his eyes lock with Jimin before finally turning to you.
Your heart skips a beat as he gazes at you, your mind racing with a hurricane of emotions. You hadn’t expected to see him again so soon, especially not after the tumultuous encounter earlier in the day. What did you say earlier? That “the chances of seeing Jungkook was down to pretty much zero”?
The chances of seeing Jungkook is low, but never zero, your mind unhelpfully supplies.
There is a long period of awkward silence. Jungkook has his mouth slightly agape, his hand subconsciously lowering his guitar to rest against his truck. To your left, Jimin’s breathing quickens slightly. You, on the other hand, are trying your best not to projectile vomit in this damned parking lot.
Jungkook is the one who decides to break the delicate silence. “Is that you…?” he calls out hesitantly.
Don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my—
“Y/N,” Jimin interjects. His gaze is steel cold, uncharacteristic of the carefree boy. He slings an arm around your shoulders, gently nudging you towards his car. With your view still fixed on Jungkook, you miss the way Jimin shoots the other boy with a playful smirk. “C’mon, babe. Let’s go home.”
His words startle both you and Jungkook. “Wha—? Jimin?” you splutter, flushing at his flirtatious undertone. You want to curse him out for his strange behavior, but all the shock has left you mute.
Jimin all but shoves you into the passenger seat. But just as he’s about to slam the car door, you hear Jungkook call out your name. It’s fleeting and quiet, but you heard him crystal clear.
It breaks your spirit to hear him say your name. For a moment, you feel as though you are floating.
When was the last time he called your name? And so softly, too? If you could replay that moment over and over, would you be able to catch some signs of tenderness in his voice? When you close your eyes later that night, would your dreams show you that he had been gazing at you with yearning? Was any of it true?
As Jimin starts the car and pulls away from the curb, you steal one last glance out the window, only to find Jungkook staring at you with an arm outstretched. You continue to watch him until his figure disappears into the night.
You are quietly immersed in your own thoughts, the whirlwind of emotions intensifying your persistent migraine. Unaccustomed to silence, Jimin decides to give his unsolicited two cents, as per usual.
“Geez. Didn’t know you were into the whole starving artist type. If I’d known, then maybe I’d stop trying to brag about my fortune to you,” Jimin scoffs. “If loser buskers like him impress you, then maybe I should—”
“Would you shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life!” You explode, whirling to face him with a glare. Jimin has the audacity to flinch, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“What the fuck? Why the hell are you mad at me?”
“What the hell was that back there? ‘C’mon babe.’” You mimic his voice with a sneer. “Why on earth would you do that? Now he thinks that we…”
“Why do you care what he thinks? He’s your ex, remember?” Jimin cuts you off, but you can’t even refute him. He continues, “Figured as much. And judging by how spooked you’ve looked all day, I have to assume that he was an asshole, right? Why else would you accept my offer for a ride home if you really wanted to avoid seeing him?”
You shrink under his accurate assumptions. Damn, were you really that easy to read? “I… I mean, yeah but…” You clear your throat, still feeling wronged by him. “You didn’t have to act like a weird prick in front of him!”
Without warning, the floodgates burst forth. You begin to ramble, the thoughts that have been weighing you down pouring out of you in waves. “Jungkook was my ex, yeah. But he wasn’t an asshole. On the contrary, he was really sweet. The nicest guy in my school, at least. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, that sort of person. I dated him all throughout high school and he was a great partner.”
Jimin hums skeptically. “Then why the messy break-up?”
“It wasn’t messy!” You retort defensively.
“Could��ve fooled me!” Jimin snorts. “I also frequently act like a trembling kitten when I see my exes,” he says sarcastically.
You ignore him. “The reason we broke it off was because he wanted to pursue his dreams to become a singer after high school and I wanted to do other things. It was a mutual break-up! Honestly, I’m glad that we did. Too many girls wanted him and all the unwanted attention was getting on my nerves. I was glad to find a reason to end it all,” you explain, hoping you didn’t sound as shaky as you felt. What you said was mostly true, though you left out the important bits to yourself. Mostly to save some of your dignity intact. (Truthfully, you just didn’t want to admit things you weren’t ready to face.)
“Then if you’re so glad, why do you look like you wanted to shit yourself? It ain’t adding up,” Jimin fires back.
“It’s just—” you stammer, trying to find a reason why you were so bent out of shape after seeing him. “I-I was caught off guard, I guess. I knew he was pursuing his dreams to sing and all, so I expected him to leave the country. I wasn’t expecting to see him outside where I work, of all places,” you mutter lamely. You have your head bowed, biting your lips from the nerves. Again, you weren’t totally lying.
Jimin is silent for a moment, contemplating your admission. When he looks so calm like this, it’s hard to get a read on what he’s thinking. As Jimin speeds down the highway, the street lights illuminate his face in a strange way, and for once, he looks like a stranger. His steely expression makes you nervous, for some reason.
Eventually, he asks you a question you would never have expected. “And he just let you go?”
You pause. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Jimin huffs, irritated. “He just up and left without a fight? If I were him, I would have…” he trails off, his jaw clenching.
You don’t know where this Jimin came from. Under the moonlight, Jimin looks livid, but that can’t be right. Jimin, mad for you? Sure, you’ve seen his anger directed towards you, but this? Everything’s gotten so complicated, and you are just about ready to succumb to sleep and hope to wake from this nightmare.
The rest of the drive to your house is silent, save for the sounds coming from passing cars. Jimin pulls up to your apartment complex, his mysterious anger finally subsiding.
Just as you’re about to reach for the car door handle, Jimin places a hand on your shoulder. “Listen, Y/N. I’ll talk to management tomorrow morning. I know the manager well enough that I can probably convince him to do something about that ex of yours. He’s busking on private property, so it should be easy to get rid of him,” Jimin says, tone serious. He swallows, and for a moment you think he looks a little nervous. “If that’s what you want, I guess.”
His kindness scares you. You want to tease him, ask him where Mr. Bitchy and his $2000 Chelsea boots had gone. Anything to make this air of severe sincerity to abate. This new Jimin feels suffocating. But instead, you nod your head stiffly.
Jimin makes a pained expression for a moment, but it’s quickly replaced by his usual playful smirk. He slaps you upside the head, laughing heartily at your stunned face.
“Get some rest, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” he chuckles, reaching over to open the door for you. You scramble out into the cold city air, taking one last look back at him through his window.
He rolls it down, leaning forward to flash a toothy grin at you. “Hey, stop with all the angst, pookie. Wouldn’t want my favorite toy to get sick from overthinking. Who else would I bother at work if not you?”
You snort, both endeared and irritated in equal measure. He’s right. Everything was going back to normal tomorrow, you’re sure of it. You flip him off with a cheeky grin before making your way to your apartment.
Everything is going to be okay. Jimin says he’ll do something about it, and for whatever reason, you feel like you can trust him on this. Surely good fortune was soon to be upon you.
xxx
Jimin had texted you while you were still sleeping:
Spoke to Manager Jeong about your little problem. He said he’ll deal with him.
You breathe a sigh of relief, your body feeling significantly lighter. Your sleep last night had been tumultuous and restless. You feel more tired than you did when you went to bed, but all your weariness fades once you read Jimin’s text.
Once you make it to work, you find that management has gotten rid of Jungkook somehow. Added with the fact that your landlord has promised to look into repairing your shower (no guarantees, but you want to stay optimistic), today has been significantly better compared to yesterday. You even catch yourself humming as you set up your workstation, a small smile gracing your lips.
Jimin has a later shift this evening, and you find that you are somewhat disappointed for once. Your overwhelming gratitude is surely the only reason, otherwise you would never admit to wanting to see him at any given time.
You are in the midst of texting Jimin about all the good news when your manager passes by your desk. You are quick to pocket your phone away from his prying eyes, ready to defend that you aren’t slacking off… but his demeanor does not reveal any ire. In fact, he looks rather pleased for once.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Jeong. What’s up?” you ask, suspicious. You instinctively fold your hands behind your back; it is a subconscious effort on your part to keep your distance from him. Something about your manager always gives you a bad feeling when he looks a little too happy.
He grins widely. “Everything is going splendidly, Ms. Y/N. In fact, I think today might just be our lucky day!”
Never during your time working here has his and your luck ever coincided. “Our lucky day?” you echo.
“Why, yes! I spoke with your lovely friend and coworker Jimin this morning,” he starts, and immediately your alarm bells ring. You don’t even bother correcting him about the ‘friend’ part like you normally would. He continues, “He gave me a brilliant idea about the busker who had been performing in front of the restaurant the past two days.”
You nod slowly, not quite understanding. “Yes… The busker has been quite… the spectacle,” you say carefully. Somehow, you know calling Jungkook a ‘nuisance’ would have been the wrong choice in this instance.
Manager Jeong beams. “Exactly! You must have noticed the amount of people we served yesterday despite being a Monday. Additionally, almost all of those new customers requested outdoor seating no less!”
You feel the world tilt on its axis. What is he on abou—?
“What are you talking about?” you exhale.
“Don’t you think it would be even better for business if we got that busker to perform inside the restaurant? Why, it’s a brilliant idea and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it first! Our live band has always been missing something special, and perhaps a vocal accompaniment is the exact answer to our problem! Think about it, the atmosphere would be…”
Manager Jeong continues to prattle animatedly about his plans to your unhearing ears. There must be static or cotton plugging your head because you cannot possibly understand anything he is saying. Jungkook? Inside? Performing at your restaurant? But Jimin said he had spoken to the manager about getting Jungkook away from you! None of this makes sense.
“That makes no sense,” you verbalize, unknowingly cutting Manager Jeong from his monologue. He halts in surprise, as if now just realizing you were standing there (much less capable of interrupting or disagreeing with him). When he snaps out of it, you sense that familiarly sinister aura emerging from him in waves. You belatedly realize he must have mistaken your outburst as antagonistic.
“Well, Ms. Y/N. Whether it makes sense or not, we have hired Mr. Jeon to perform live at the bar stage for the next four weeknights. If, for some unknowable reason, I am incorrect,” he pauses to emphasize his words, “then his services will be promptly terminated. However, judging by his popularity from simply standing out in the cold and singing silly love songs, I am sure that worry is unwarranted.”
Behind you, the telltale sound of the main door swinging open catches you even more off guard. You do not even have the chance to turn to face the newcomer, only managing to register the gust of cold wind that accompanies their entry.
And so, you hear him before you see him.
“Hello?” Jeon Jungkook greets quietly.
Even without turning, you can imagine how he looks, how he stands, how he feels, how he tastes—
Manager Jeong claps his hands gleefully. “Splendid timing! Speak of the devil…” The older man nearly skips towards Jungkook like a youthful school girl, accompanied by his uncharacteristic squeals of excitement.
You can feel his gaze on you, almost tangibly. With nothing but your shreds of dignity left intact, you force yourself to face him.
He’s still so tall, is all your mind can helpfully supply as you stand feet away from your high school sweetheart for the first time in two years. He’s still wearing the same bucket hat from the night before, semi-shielding him from view. Despite that, you catch a small flash of white graze his bottom lip as he chews the soft flesh nervously.
“Hi, Y/N.” He addresses you directly, completely overlooking your manager without a single glance. Despite his hat, he still has his eyes lasered on you, as if not quite believing you were there. You hate how his attention makes you shiver all the same.
Even though he ignored your manager (which would have been a major dispute had you done the same), Jungkook still receives a friendly handshake in return. “Mr. Jeon! I’m surprised you know Ms. Y/N, though I’m sure you must have spoken with her when she was escorting guests to the outdoor seating the other day.”
You had actually gotten your co-hostess to seat all the outdoor seatings yesterday, but you weren’t going to mention that.
Manager Jeong claps him on the back, inadvertently causing Jungkook to stumble forward closer to you. He looks up at you then, eyes bugging out of their sockets like a rabbit caught in a bear trap. You stagger backwards in turn, barely concealing the anxiety on your face. Oh fucking hell.
Your manager is none the wiser, of course. “Well, this makes my job much easier! Since you’re both acquainted, I’ll let Y/N show you the ropes. The band doesn’t start their set until later in the evening, but you’re free to take a look at the stage and other parts of our facility in the meantime,” he says, chuffed. Meanwhile, Jungkook looks like he’s been shot by a freeze ray.
Then, your manager points a sharper gaze at you. “Ms. Y/N, treat our super star well. I know you won’t disappoint me.”
Fucking superstar… You can only nod in defeat. “Y-Yes, sir…” you whisper, clenching your uniform with your fists. It is the only way to keep them from shaking like a leaf. You watch as his figure disappears behind his office door, leaving you to fend for yourself. Powerless, you train your gaze to the floor, unwilling to meet Jungkook’s eyes.
But the nerves are taking control of your body, screaming at you to eject, eject, eject!
“Sorry, I have to go to the toilet,” you splutter quickly, almost tripping over yourself on the way to the restroom. You dimly wonder if Jungkook is going to think you’re leaving to throw up, but you can’t find any self-respect left to care. All you need is air and space to breathe—preferably away from him.
You slam open the stall, hardly checking to see if anyone else is around before locking the door shut. You sit on the toilet, plant your face between your knees, and scream.
Should you go home and use sickness as an excuse? But even if you did, you still had shifts every weeknight. You would have to see him eventually. You can pray all you want that Jungkook will be fired by the end of the week, but even your delusional mind can never fathom the idea that anyone would willingly want to send Jeon Jungkook away. Plus, you remember that the regular band that plays at the restaurant has been wanting to get a singer to accompany them for ages, and you know just how damn affable he can be. They are going to love him, and you hate him for that.
It is clear to you that there is no other option:
You pull out your phone to quickly open up Indeed on your browser, frantically hunting for any openings that might fit your measly qualifications. However, you have to pause in your search to deliberate. Wouldn’t it be better to move out of the country? You had been so naive to think that moving cities was enough distance between you and Jungkook—going across the ocean is the obvious answer. Should you start up your Duolingo lessons again and hope that you can somehow survive in a different continent with only a few dollars to your name?
You shut your phone in despair. Whether or not your plans of escape are feasible or not, in the short term, you are stuck with having to suck it up and just learn to ignore your ex-boyfriend’s presence. Surely you can force out a fake smile or two, especially with how much practice you’ve gotten after working with unbearably entitled customers.
Taking a step outside of the restroom stall, you head to the sink to splash some cold on your face. You stare at the mirror, confronted by a girl who looks two seconds away from having a Netflix Original-esque meltdown. You rake your fingers through your hair, doing your best to look like you aren’t about to rush into incoming traffic. To no one's surprise, it doesn't work.
“Okay, I got this. Just pretend like he’s just some guy, because at the end of the day, he is just some guy,” you mutter to your reflection. She looks back at you unconvinced. “He may have broken my heart into little bite size pieces, but who cares! HE’S JUST A GUY!” You repeat the phrase over and over again like a lunatic, in a desperate attempt to cognitively alter your brain chemistry.
At that moment, one of the other stalls in the restroom creaks open, and a girl you recognize who works as one of the dishwashers walks out. You both have a silent eye conversation as she quietly studies your crazed expression and crumpled work uniform.
Eventually, she awkwardly clears her throat, pointing to the only sink in the restroom. “Uh, sorry to hear about your, uh, guy problem. Could I use the sink please?”
You hastily back away, allowing her to take your spot. You don’t even have the energy to apologize for your spectacle, just bowing sheepishly to her before making your way back to the main hall. If she rats you out to the rest of your coworkers, then that gives you another reason to move out of the country. Maybe you should consider a name change while you’re at it.
When you exit the restroom, you half expect Jungkook to be waiting for you by the door, but find that he isn’t anywhere nearby. He isn’t by your hostess station either, and you thank your lucky stars for once. Even if your manager had asked you to show him around, you’re sure that Jungkook can find his way around just fine. Plus, the stage is at the corner of the restaurant and is sufficiently far enough that you wouldn’t have to make eye contact with him if you were careful.
You don’t know which greater entity has been messing with your sanity these past few days, but you hope that they can show you mercy just once—a brief reprieve, if anything.
You clasp your hands in prayer. I’ll eat more vegetables, I’ll remember to floss, I’ll call my parents from time to time… Just please let me survive tonight.
“Remember, Y/N… He’s just some guy,” you reiterate through gritted teeth. If a passing coworker happens to overhear your demented chanting, then you pay them no mind.
You walk towards the entrance, flipping the sign to open. You feel like a video game character when you glance at the clock, which signals the start of your shift. You can imagine the red bold text hovering above your head: 8 more hours until freedom.
This is just like playing Five Nights at Freddy’s, except you’ve only watched the movie and you suspect your life is probably worse than whatever Josh Hutcherson had to survive through.
You take a couple heaving breaths to brace yourself for what will be the longest eight hours of your life. You’ll show Jungkook just how well-adjusted and mature you’ve become. You are a professional, and not even a boy with angelic vocals will make you crumble. After all, what’s the worst he can do?
xxx
He could, in fact, do a lot worse than you thought.
“I have many regrets being born at all,” you mutter bleakly, three hours into your shift.
Jungkook had started singing only an hour ago, so you had been filled with false confidence at first when the restaurant was filled with nothing but ambient chatter and soothing jazz music. You felt more and more confident as the minutes ticked by and your anxiety slowly melted away. You even forgot that he was somewhere in the back, likely warming up or whatever it is that singers did before a performance.
However, your brief moment of courage shatters almost immediately when Jungkook finally takes the stage.
At first, you did your best to tune out his voice, but it’s especially hard when whoever was in charge of the sound system decided to crank his volume to an excruciating level. You wanted desperately to grab some napkins and shove them in your ears, but you suspected that your customers (and manager) would be unappreciative of that gesture. And so there you lay, forced to wallow in Jungkook’s melodious singing like a criminal strapped to an electric chair.
But how much more pleasant an electric chair would be! Why on earth was Jungkook so adamant to sing sad love songs the entire time? Why couldn’t he be like his other singing contemporaries, who loved to write songs about getting bitches and making money? At the very least, even if he wasn’t quite a platinum selling artist just yet, surely he was constantly sharing beds with anyone he pleases? Couldn’t he sing about that?!
(In the back of your mind, you wonder if it would be less painful to learn that Jungkook has slept with multiple people… Because then, it would mean that he had moved on while you stood alone on your island, stranded and yearning.)
You didn’t want to think too deeply about his lyrics. However, you're only human. So when your mind barrier failed and you caught snippets of his singing, you noticed a pattern. There was always a girl in his songs. She was omnipresent, and Jungkook was always pleading for her. Begging and aching and wanting. But most all… he was always repenting. In every song, he always whispered a pious apology.
You feared what would happen if you turned around in those moments of weakness. You were terrified of admitting something, of letting words spill that had been trapped in your throat for the better part of two years.
Lucky for you, salvation comes in the form of one Park Jimin. Though, can you even count him as your savior when he had also inadvertently caused your demise?
Jimin doesn’t even have a shift today, so you’re more than surprised when his bright blonde head stumbles through the restaurant doors. His expensive coat is askew and his signature designer shades are nowhere to be found. He is panic incarnate—an expression you have never seen on his face before.
“Holy fuck,” he greets, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. His profanity startles the elderly couple waiting to be seated, their glares menacingly sharp. To his credit, Jimin doesn’t even seem phased.
In lieu of an answer, you gesture vaguely behind you. You can imagine how dejected you must look. “Holy fuck indeed,” you sigh.
It takes a moment for Jimin to regain his bearings. He straightens up and pats down his coat, but his hair is still tousled by the wind. If not for the fact that he has a car, you might have thought he had run all the way here.
“I am so sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen,” he starts, genuinely remorseful. “I texted Manager Jeong this morning and he said he’d get your ex to leave, but I didn’t think he’d offer the damn bastard a job!”
“Mind your language, Park. I’m still at work,” you scold. You try your best to ignore the scrutinizing gaze of the elderly couple. You lower your voice. “And don’t apologize. I know you’re an asshole, but I doubt you’d actually prey on my downfall like this. I know you’re not into public humiliation.”
Jimin brightens slightly at your joke, but he still looks like a guilty puppy who'd been caught shitting on the carpet. “Yeah, well. I happen to enjoy tormenting you and I won’t let some upstart Charlie Puth wannabe ruin your life. That’s my job.”
You smile wryly at him. “Well, that’s too bad. Jungkook’s been singing for a few hours now and I’m pretty sure Manager Jeong is going to keep him long-term. He might have broken my heart, but damn does he have vocals. I'm sure you'll have plenty competition when it comes to 'who can make Y/N's life feel like hell.'”
Jimin doesn't smile back, but instead studies your face for a moment. Then:
“Do you think if I offer to suck Manager Jeong off, he’ll fire him?”
“What the fuck?” You nearly yell out in surprise, your jaw dropping to the floor. Judging by his serious scowl, you know he's actually considering it. By now, the elderly couple waiting to be seated have left the premises.
Jimin continues, unperturbed. “I know he secretly wants me, based on how his wife seems to have a personal vendetta against me. He definitely wants a taste of my bus—.”
“Stop, I get it!” You wave your hands to make him shut up, heat rising up your cheeks. “Never say that string of words to me ever again. You have just inflicted ten years of suffering onto my poor brain.”
“Hey, I’m just offering solutions here!” Jimin pouts.
You stare at him, unimpressed. “Save it. You tried solving my problems already, so let’s just accept the fact that there’s nothing else for me to do but to suck it up. It’s time for me to put on my big girl pants for a change.”
“I mean, I could do all the sucking instead, but you’re being a little bitch about it,” Jimin mumbles. He’s lucky you didn’t hear him this time, lest you give him something to really whine about.
“Anyway, I guess this is my life now. Nothing to do except hope that he never tries to interact with me or I can find another job,” you shrug.
Over your shoulder, Jimin fixes Jungkook with an icy glare that is cold enough to give you the shivers. For the first time that entire night, you hazard a glance back at the stage, finding that Jungkook is already looking back at you.
You whip your head back forward, perspiration forming down your back. For fuck’s sake, this guy.
“Well, let me know if he tries anything. I’ll beat that little freak into the floor if he tries so much as breathing the same air as you.” Jimin huffs, puffing up his chest with false bravado. You can’t help but laugh at his empty threat, knowing that Jungkook could probably bench press Jimin without breaking a sweat. Jimin's muscles are only for aesthetics, after all.
“Don’t worry, he hasn’t actually spoken to me actually. He can keep singing his sad little love songs, I really don’t mind,” you say, like a liar. Jimin snorts, wholly unconvinced.
“Well, if you need me, I’m heading to the bar to grab a drink so I can stare at your ex uncomfortably until he leaves. See you!” Jimin bids you farewell with a cheery grin as he skips a little too happily inside the restaurant.
Why'd you have to befriend the largest lunatic in the city? You massage your forehead with a groan, willing away your growing headache.
The rest of the night trickles away like molasses. Jungkook continues to sing his heart out, save for an hour intermission where he presumably takes a short break. In his absence, you hear Jimin guffaw loudly, his laughter too sharp to be considered happy. You faintly hear Jungkook shy stutters in response, and you momentarily consider running in to interrupt.
Why? Did you want to save Jungkook from Jimin’s unnecessary harassment? It’s not like Jimin is doing it out nowhere, he was just trying to be… a good friend?
You pause to ponder. As much as you hate to admit it, you know why you want to help Jungkook. But Jimin on the other hand? Why did he want to help you? Questions begin flowing through your head like a whirlwind, and your nausea increases. God, when was your next therapy appointment again?
You save those questions for another day. As you look at your watch, there are only thirty minutes left until two in the morning. You tap your foot impatiently, smiling curtly at departing customers as the restaurant slowly emptied. As they left, you overhear some of your regulars giggling amongst themselves, whispering about the cute new singer and his charming demeanor.
The last nail on your coffin has been hammered. Yeah, Jungkook isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
With the restaurant closing soon, it sounds like Jungkook is ready to end his set as well.
Throughout the night, Jungkook rarely made a point to speak. The only time he didn’t sing was when he quietly introduced the title of his next song and the band swiftly began the first opening notes. For his last song, however, Jungkook decided to give a little more backstory for his final song.
“Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to me for the night,” Jungkook says with a soft voice, his tone awfully shy despite his powerful belting throughout the evening. The few customers left give him a warm round of applause, and you hear the familiar sound of his timid giggles spill from the restaurant speakers.
“This will be my final song for the night. Most of the songs I sang today were covers, but this one is an original. I…” He hesitates for a moment, and something pulls you to turn despite the alarm bells ringing in your ears. You face him, and just like earlier in the evening, he is already looking back at you.
This time, you don’t look away; he does. His eyes flit to the ceiling, and he licks his lips from nerves. “I… I wrote this song a long while ago. I’ve never sang it in public before and I never thought it would ever see the light of day. Until, well…”
He stops again. This time, he gestures to the guitarist in the band, silently asking to borrow it. With a guitar in hand, he smiles a little more confidently at the small crowd of people. He begins strumming the first few notes, and your heart stops. “I hope everyone had a pleasant evening. Get home safe and have a great rest of your week. My name is Jungkook, and this last song is called…”
Before he can sing the first line of his song, you make a break for it.
You slam the restaurant doors open, and the stinging cold air immediately pierces their fangs into your skin. Your coat is still inside, but you can’t bring yourself to reenter. You take a long breath, the chill barely registering in your mind with how loudly your heart is pounding in your ears.
Hearing the opening to that song was enough to bring you back in time, three years ago:
You are in his childhood bedroom, his walls littered with concert posters and his floor a mess with unfolded laundry and guitar picks. The afternoon sun is streaming through his windows, bathing him in gold. You have an exam the next day and he has cram school to go to, but you’ve both chucked your books somewhere on his desk, left forgotten.
He has his eyes closed, concentrated. You’re both on his small twin bed, squished together side by side and thighs touching. You have your head on his shoulder and he has his hands on his guitar. He strums a few chords experimentally and sings a melody that only the two of you know.
(Not anymore.)
“Are you writing a new song?” you ask, voice a little scratchy. Neither of you had spoken for the past few hours, just basking in the setting sun and Jungkook’s indistinct strumming. But now, his chords sound more sure, more certain of something.
“Yeah, I just thought of it,” he hums. He opens his eyes a smidge, a smitten smile on his lips. You mirror him.
“What’s it about this time?”
His brows furrow. “I’ve been trying to write about other stuff, you know? Namjoon-hyung tells me it’s important that songs have meaning and impact.” He pauses in his strumming, looking a little conflicted. “And I get what he means. Art is all about saying something, but… I can’t help that there’s only one thing I ever want to talk about. Is that so wrong?”
You chuckle, understanding what he means. You nudge your head against his cheek, grinning from ear to ear. The fluttering in your chest has become routine to you at this point, but he somehow always knows how to increase it tenfold. “God, you’re such a sweet talker. Really, Koo. There’s no need to serenade with love songs—I’m already yours.”
He looks back at you, brimming with tender affection. “I know,” he responds. Then, he takes a pen from his bedside table, and begins writing.
During those years of dating him, you always thought that If he was a waterfall, then you were a teaspoon. You desperately tried to be enough for him, but you’re barely able to fathom the depth of his devotion. Everything about him was excessive, and you could seldom understand how he managed to contain himself. He was born to share himself, to tear bits of his soul so that the world may understand him, love him. His songs were a testament that he was trying to do that, and you always felt so lucky to be able to receive him, wholly and fully.
How cruel was it that Jungkook uses that same song to rip open the barely healed scab on your heart, leaving you bare and stinging and raw all over again.
You have no idea how long you've stood there in the cold. It must have been barely a few minutes when Jimin finds his way to you. He wordlessly shrugs his coat off and places it on your shoulders, but you make no move to acknowledge him.
You hope your silence is enough for Jimin to infer that you are not in a conversational mood, but he’s nothing if not impatient. He forcibly pulls you to face him, his hands warm even through your clothing.
“Hey, you good? Did something happen?” He asks with barely concealed irritation, but it’s not directed at you. Still, you flinch at his scathing tone, shrinking in on yourself. In your daze, you vaguely notice his resemblance to an angry baby chick.
“It’s nothing. Go back inside, I’ll be right there,” you mumble lamely, weakly pushing him back towards the restaurant. Jimin does not budge, instead leveling you with a hard stare. This time, you’re sure his irritation is for you.
“You idiot, you literally ran out like someone was out to get you. Of course it’s not nothing,” he grouses.
You sigh tiredly, shaking your head at him. “We can talk later. It’s almost closing time and I just want to go home and sleep.”
Before Jimin can argue further, the door to the restaurant opens once more, but it isn’t a leaving customer.
“What the fuck? What are you doing out here?” Jimin all but shouts at Jungkook. He holds up an accusatory finger at him and uses his other hand to nudge you behind him as if to shield you.
Jungkook winces, instinctively stepping back. Despite being a few inches taller than Jimin, Jungkook’s timidness makes him look smaller. “I… I was just worried about her—”
“Don’t you have a song to finish in there? Talk about professional,” Jimin spits out. Jimin maneuvers you so that Jungkook can’t see you, but you manage to catch sight of how his gaze follows you unfailingly.
“I finished up my set. It’s closing time.” Jungkook responds coolly. He’s still a little quiet, but you can sense some of his natural composure rising to the surface. When he needs to be, Jungkook has been known to stand his ground—usually when it comes to matters involving you.
At this time of the night and after hours of mental torture, the last thing you need is to watch your two worst nightmares duke it out in front of your work establishment. You are beyond exhausted, and you hardly have the fortitude to withstand another minute of their voices ringing in your ears.
Your eyes well up with tears of frustration, causing the two boys to freeze up in panic. You don’t give them the chance to fuss over you; instead, you haphazardly wipe your cheeks before roughly pushing them back towards the restaurant.
“Get back to work, you idiots.” Your voice sounds warbled even to your own ears, but you push past your overwhelming emotions in favor of getting back inside to close up. Hell, you might even call in sick tomorrow, just so you can cry pathetically into your bowl of cereal in solitude.
“I’m not even on the clock today!” Jimin complains faintly, but you only push him harder.
When you all reenter, you walk back to your desk and pointedly ignore the two of them until they awkwardly float away from your orbit. Despite the distance they give you, their gazes are still fixed plainly on you and they feel like knives digging into your back.
Eventually, all the final customers of the day take their leave, and your remaining coworkers start dimming the lights and bidding their goodbyes. From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook bowing respectfully to the band, who were giving him friendly pats on the back for a job well done. Jimin walks toward you, his car keys dangling from his left pinky.
“No thanks. I’ll take the bus home today,” you declare before he can offer a ride. Jimin opens his mouth like a goldfish, flapping his lips dumbly as he stares at you in shock. You have no idea why he’s so surprised, given how you’ve been making it obvious that you need some space.
He looks like he wants to argue again, but thinks better of it. A singular moment of restraint from Park Jimin, which is an act you once thought impossible. Maybe he does care about you more than you thought.
He stiffly nods at you, shoving his hands and keys into his pockets. He still has a frown on his face when he tells you to text him when you get home. You flip him off with a shaky smirk in response, a feeble attempt to bring some levity back to your now tense relationship. It works a little, and Jimin brightens up significantly. How simple-minded of him.
With a flippant wave, you leave work and head towards your bus stop. At this hour of the night, the streets are mostly dim, save for some street lamps and bars that stay open longer than your restaurant. There are always some people milling about, enough that you never feel too on edge about how late it is. Still, your bus stop is often empty, leaving you to mull over your thoughts in peace.
You are in the midst of jamming your earbuds into your ear when a presence makes itself known beside you.
Is it possible to go through the five stages of grief in under a second? You suppose not, but it’s hard to tell what sort of emotions swim through you when you come face to face with Jeon Jungkook again.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath. You pause the song playing on your phone to glare at him with as much venom as you can muster.
Jungkook holds up his hands in surrender, doe eyes wide like prey. “I-I’m heading home too! I’m not following you, I swear!”
You groan internally. Figures that you and Jungkook take the same bus home. But hold on— “Don’t you have a car? I remember you were parked near the restaurant the other night,” you note, squinting at him.
Jungkook looks sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah. That car was my hyung’s. He lets me borrow it sometimes, but he needed it tonight.”
“Sure…” You level him with a skeptical frown. You remember his hyung, but don’t recall him ever owning a car. You aren’t even sure that his Namjoon-hyung is allowed by the country to drive a car, much less own one.
He could be lying, but you don’t want to give him an excuse to continue any conversation. So, you busy yourself with your phone and keep your head bowed away from him.
When the bus arrives, Jungkook makes it a point to sit a few rows behind you. Thankfully, he has a better understanding of social cues than a certain Park that you know. He leaves you alone, but your entire body still feels like a rope pulled taut. You have to convince yourself not to look behind you, your morbid curiosity scratching your insides raw.
You are in the home stretch now, and it’ll only be a few more minutes before you get to your stop and make your way to your safe haven. Hell resumes the next day and the next, but at the very least you’ll have your home to yourself. No one could take that away from you.
Again, this is where you learn that tempting fate is never a good idea.
When you exit the bus at your stop, you can hear his footsteps following you. It’s hard not to notice, especially when his large and distracting boots make such a distinct racket that makes him so Jungkook.
You hasten your pace towards your apartment complex, your shoulders hunched and hands shoved into your coat pockets in an attempt to hinder the bile rising from your stomach. He had promised that he wasn’t following you, but that proclamation seems to be standing on feeble legs with how long he’s been on your tail now.
Your street is filled with rows of low-rise apartment buildings, so you hope that if anything happens, you can yell as loud as you can and alert some compassionate neighbor to come to your aid. (Not that you think he would ever physically harm you, but… You can’t say the same about your mental state.)
Your home is just two buildings away from where you are, but Jungkook still seems determined to follow you to the end. You all but skip the remaining feet to your apartment entrance, your breath coming out in puffs as you finally muster up the courage to face your supposed stalker and give him a piece of your mind.
“If this is some convoluted way for you to find out where I live, then you aren’t being very subtle about it,” you say, your chin held up high despite the growing urge to vomit pathetically in front of your ex-boyfriend. You have your hand rested on the doorknob, just a moment’s notice away from bolting into your house if the need for a quick getaway arises.
To your surprise, Jungkook wasn’t following you as closely as you expected. He had stopped trailing you about two buildings down, his own hand poised on the door with a look of genuine shock.
You both stand there, staring at each other as mutual understanding dawns on the two of you.
Everyday, the universe learns of more creative ways to be cruel.
“Oh…” Jungkook’s voice falters. He looks simultaneously frightened and amazed, as if he too finds this entire situation unbelievably harsh. He swallows thickly, looking at you and back to his door in quick succession. “Well… This is a strange coincidence,” he murmurs.
You want to believe that this was his entire fault, that Jungkook had somehow managed to track you down to haunt you for the rest of your days. You want to believe that he’s a crazed stalker who is willing to find where you work and live so that every hour of your wretched life is filled with nothing but reminders of what-could-have-beens. You just want someone to blame instead of just the cosmos—you want someone tangible to hate so that your suffering can be given some sort of identity. You want to give your mourning and hurt a name so that you can learn how to heal.
You want to believe all of that, but it’s hard to do so when Jungkook looks so incredibly uncomfortable, as if he’d rather melt into the shadows and never be seen again.
In all your memories, you have never seen Jungkook look so small.
You heave a big sigh, your fingers grasping the door knob so tightly that you half-expect it to be dented from the force. You linger for a moment, your mouth opening but nothing spills out.
What is there to say? What do you say to an ex-boyfriend that you haven’t seen in two years, who is suddenly so deeply entwined in your life once more? Do you tell him goodnight? Tell him to stay away? Tell him to come home with you?
Jungkook looks equally as conflicted. His lips are pursed tight with words left unsaid. You aren’t sure whether you want to punch the confession out of his mouth or seal them up forever. It feels like eons before he finally breaks the silence with a mirthless laugh.
“I… I just wanted to say—back at the restaurant. When I sang that last song,” Jungkook begins, and his voice feels loud because of how empty the streets are. For a moment, you are reminded of a cathedral you once visited during a vacation, how sacred silence can be. The world holds its breath, waiting for him to speak.
“I meant it all. Every word. Every lyric. I never stopped…”
He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. He stares at you helplessly, but you don’t know what to say. You don’t want to listen any more, but your feet are planted to the ground. You’re frozen like a deer in headlights, forced to brace against him as he crashes into you.
He continues, “And when we broke up back then… I never wanted that to happen. You broke it off before we could even try something—and I hated how I didn’t fight for you harder. I let you misunderstand me because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to stick around if I didn’t succeed. I convinced myself that I was holding you down, but I never gave you—us—a chance. I never stopped regretting it since.”
“Me? Break up with you?” You echo incredulously. That statement is enough to break you from your trance, the telltale signs of indignation rising up your chest. “How dare you suggest—Me? You were the one who broke up with me, asshole! You were the one who broke my heart and decided to up and leave to god knows where! Only to miraculously respawn right next to me, groveling at my feet with sad love songs as if that’s enough for me to forgive and forget? Fucking entitled bastard,” you seethe.
Somehow, Jungkook manages to shrink more, like a bunny with his tail tucked between his legs. “Yes, you’re right that I broke your heart but… When I told you I was moving away to try and become a singer, it was always with the intention of staying together. I know it would have been difficult, but I wanted you to be with me through thick and thin. But when you misunderstood and took it as a break up, I let you go because, well… I was scared that it would happen eventually. Who wants to date a broke busking fool anyway?”
He laughs, but it sounds watery. He sniffles, and you hope it's only because of the cold. “I tried looking for you, but you blocked me everywhere and no one from back home seemed to know where you went. So I just accepted that we’d never see each other again… Until a few days ago, that is.”
A misunderstanding? Is that what everything boils down to? Years of trying to build yourself back up again, relearning what it means to be happy—all the fallen domino pieces in your life trailing back to a single moment in time? All because Jungkook was scared that you didn't love him enough?
You’ve never felt angrier in your life. You fear what you might say if you continue to stand outside there, face to face with the singular person strong enough to whittle you down to the bone. Jeon Jungkook is all soft smiles and sweet songs, but how come he’s always able to knock you off your axis? Few people on this earth can stitch you up and break you down in equal measure, but somehow, Jungkook manages to do all that and more.
Then, comes the guilt. Had it been all your fault? That you hadn't returned his love in equal measure? Had you secretly given up on the hope of being on his level? Always looking down on yourself: unable to move past your insecurities. Were you terrified of being his side piece, his girlfriend, forever?
Who are you, even? And where do you stand?
(Beside him, is what you want to answer. You don't know if that's the right choice.)
You can’t bear to look at him, least of all answer him. Without another word, you shove your house key into the door before slamming it shut despite the late hour. If you awaken any neighbors, you’ll apologize later. For now, all you require is sleep and hope that this has been all a terrible nightmare.
xxx
Reality is a bitter pill to swallow.
Jeon Jungkook continues to sing at the restaurant, and after only two days of repeat stellar performances, your manager decides to promote him as the official vocalist for the band. It hurts to admit that you're not the least bit surprised; you might have a hard time looking at him, but you can never deny his talent.
His song list has added a larger variety of genres ever since his first performance. That is to say, he isn’t always singing about lost loves and tragic couples every night. Perhaps it is due to some requests from customers or his other bandmates, but it doesn’t stop him from sprinkling one or two love songs into the mix.
He doesn’t sing any original songs ever again. That, at least, is a small mercy. He doesn’t make any moves to speak with you either, despite the daily awkward trips back home after the end of your shifts. Whether that’s because he’s given up on you (again), or he’s waiting for you to make the first move, you don’t know. Frankly, you don’t think you have the energy (nor courage) to do anything about it.
It’s a few weeks after Jungkook’s first performance at the restaurant, and closing time is approaching. You appreciate Friday nights the most because it means you’ll have two consecutive days to relax and avoid your problems. It’s also the busiest night of the week, when white-collar workers decide to drink and eat for as long as the night allows them. Busier nights mean more distractions, and you’re willing to deal with twenty Karens over one Jungkook.
During nights like these, your manager occasionally asks you to fulfill some waitress duties when there aren’t enough hands on deck. Normally you’d hate it, but earning the extra tips is enough to keep your grumbling to a minimum To this day, your landlord has yet to do anything about your broken shower, and you’ve finally conceded to the fact that you’ll have to be the one to do something about it.
As you inform the customers in your area that the last call for orders is approaching, you sneak a glance at the bar to see Jimin dutifully performing his job. That is to say, he’s flirting up a storm, getting women and men alike to blush from head to toe as he serves their drinks with a salacious smirk.
What a swindler, you think to yourself, snorting when he makes eye contact with you. He gives you a cheeky salute, mouthing something as he gestures to the back door.
Despite the semi-fight the two of you had all those weeks ago, Jimin was never one to argue about the same topic two days in a row. When you saw him the next day after your confrontation with Jungkook, Jimin was back to all smiles. You still catch him sending death glares towards Jungkook on most nights, but he doesn’t bring up the matter with you anymore. For that reason, you’ve gratefully settled back into your weird, banterful friendship with him. Even if there’s still a lingering tension between the two of you that you refuse to acknowledge.
You nod thankfully back at him, excited to go to his house and take a much needed shower. At this point, going to his house has become second nature to you, and it gives you an excuse to not see Jungkook at your regular bus stop every day. You have half a mind to never fix your shower for that reason, but of course there is still the problem of having to deal with Jimin every time you need to bathe. You hardly consider yourself an impatient person, but Jimin likes to toe the line far more often than necessary.
You’re down to your last two tables before you can close up shop when your manager suddenly barrels right into your path. You nearly drop your tray of dirty dishes to the floor, holding in a loud yelp as your suspiciously stern-faced manager halts you in place.
“Ms. Y/N, may I have a word with you for a moment? It’s regarding your paycheck for the month,” he barks, lips downturned. He appears disgruntled about something, and it sends a worried shiver down your spine. And here you thought Fridays are meant to be fun. He doesn’t wait for you to reply before he stalks back to his office, an unspoken command for you to follow.
You unload your dishes in the kitchen before making your way to his office. The small, dark room is cramped with overflowing file folders and coupons from multiple take-out places. You accidentally step on a stack of papers, and upon further inspection, seem to be a pile of applications for new hires. You distinctly remember complaining to him months prior about being understaffed and him replying that no inquiries were coming in.
As you approach, your manager shuffles through your coworkers pay stubs, and you notice yours and Jungkook’s on top of the piles.
Manager Jeong clears his throat. “Well, Y/N. It seems to be your lucky day. As you know, we split the tips based on your hours and what sort of duties you fulfill. With the new hire we have as our in-house singer, we’ve had to split it one way more to accommodate his arrival. However, he has recently requested to me that his portion be reallocated… to you, Ms. Y/N.”
Your jaw drops immediately. “I-I don’t understand, Manager Jeong,” you sputter.
Manager Jeong snorts, bemused by your reaction. “Don’t understand? Well, I suppose you’ll have to ask Mr. Jeon if you want his reasoning. Regardless, since we normally deposit your salary straight to your bank account, would it be alright if I hand you his tips in cash for now? He only informed me about his request an hour ago, and the accountant has already clocked out for the week.”
All you can do is nod dumbly back at him. With a huff, your manager presses a white envelope into your hands before promptly ushering you out of his office. “Well, that's settled. Out you go! Have a good weekend, Ms. Y/N. Don’t forget to lock the register before you leave!” He calls out before slamming his door in your face.
It takes you a moment to reanimate back to life. You stare at the white envelope for a long while, unable to fathom the scribbled out name of Jeon Jungkook replaced with your own name. Then, you crumple it into your fist before stomping over to where Jungkook and the rest of the band are in the middle of packing it up for the night.
Jungkook looks up from his guitar case when he senses you fast approaching. For a fleeting second, a smile graces his handsome face before it’s smacked away by your crumpled envelope.
“Keep your fucking cash, Jungkook. What the hell is your problem?” You fume, cheeks heating from agitation. Jungkook splutters for a moment, prying the envelope away from his face and looking at it in bewilderment. When he sees it clearly, recognition dawns on his face, followed by guilt.
“It’s just… my way of saying sorry, I guess.” He answers you meekly, neck flushing red in embarrassment. Behind him, the rest of the band grow silent at the scene before them, and you debate on telling them to mind their own business when they quicken their pace to leave.
“Well, keep your apology to yourself. There’s nothing to apologize for,” you correct him with a frown. To offer an apology is to offer accountability. You aren’t sure if you’re ready to hear him say that.
“No, it’s a sorry for… using you, I suppose.”
“Using me?” You repeat, dumbfounded. “For what?”
Jungkook smiles wryly back at you. “For inspiration?” he clarifies. For being the reason I can sing? He leaves that part unsaid, but you can almost imagine him saying it.
You feel heat rising to your cheeks again, but this time you aren’t quite sure if it’s from embarrassment, anger… or something else.
Unable to conjure up a response to his simple confession, you stomp away from him with a pounding heart and shaking hands. You continue the rest of your closing shift routine instinctually, your body moving on autopilot as Jungkook’s words continue to ring inside your head. When all is said and done, Jimin makes his way to your station with a questioning stare, but you wave him off in favor of stomping ahead of him to the parking lot.
In his car, Jimin rattles off about his latest exploits and purchases, his grating voice a comfort for once. You hum noncommittally during his stories when appropriate, but you suppose your usual indifference feels different, even to Jimin's untrained ears.
At his house, you drift to his bathroom immediately. You already have a shirt button undone by the time you get a handle on the door when Jimin’s hand stops you in place. You can feel his warmth emanating against your back as he slowly pulls the bathroom door close. With a tired sigh, you reluctantly turn to face him and find him standing closer than you expected.
He has an arm resting above your head, effectively caging you. You feel your shoulders sag. Damn, here comes another confrontation. Why can’t everyone just leave you alone?!
“Talk to me,” he says. No, he demands.
You push him away weakly, but he hardly budges. “Nothing to talk about,” you lie. Had you no filter, you’d be word vomiting all over the place ages ago.
Jimin groans, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Enough with the emotional constipation. I’m here to listen, alright? No teasing or anything, I’m all ears and maybe a shoulder to cry on. Just don’t stain my Chanel top too bad,” he jokes.
You puff out a short breath—a sorry excuse for a laugh. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to talk about it, and that’s that.”
“It’ll make you feel a lot better, though,” he offers.
You scoff. “What makes you think that? What if I just want to ignore all my problems forever and never grow from it? Is that so bad?”
Jimin pushes himself away from you, raising his hands in mock defeat. “You’re so fucking annoying. Can you stop running away from your problems and talk to me? Hell, talk to Jungkook for all I care! Just stop being a doormat and speak your mind for once in your damn life!”
“What are you, my therapist?” You brush past him, shower all but forgotten. You begin toeing your shoes back on, ready to head home tired and smelly. At the very least, you won’t have to deal with this stupid annoying asshole any longer.
Jimin strides back towards you, but for once he doesn’t do anything to forcibly stop you. Jimin has always been gruff with you, not afraid to push and pull you in any which direction. It’s part of the reason why you can’t take him seriously, even though you’ve recently realized why he was always being such a prick towards you—
“Yeah, I’m not your therapist. But for better or for worse, I’m your friend and I—I fucking care about you, alright? And it sucks seeing that good-for-nothing stick his nose in your business and act like he can do anything without any repercussions.”
Is Jimin being for real right now? “With how often you look at yourself in the mirror, you’d think you’d be better at introspection,” is all you say to that. You shove your feet into your shoes, not caring that you’ve probably put them on wrong. Maybe it’s because it’s Friday and the fatigue from the week has finally settled deep in your bones, but you can’t help but leave one last scathing remark to drive the final nail in the coffin.
“You know, if you were a little nicer to me, maybe I would talk to you. Hell, maybe I’d like you back. But no, just keep being your domineering, asshole self and I’ll keep being the same fucking doormat bitch you know and love,” you spit, turning towards the door and away from his face. You’re not even curious to see how he reacts. “I don’t need protection, alright? When I tell you to stay out of my business, you stay out of it. So don’t try and pretend to be my knight in shining armor.”
There’s an ocean of silence, enough to hear a pin drop. The urge to apologize surges to the surface, but you stamp it down. He’s petty all the time, so now it’s your turn.
Okay, maybe that’s a little too mean on your part, but you’re exhausted. Perhaps it is true when they say you should never act on your anger when it’s past midnight. But can anyone blame you? You’re only a girl, and girls need to snap too.
When he responds, his voice sounds weak. Park Jimin, weak? It's almost unthinkable. "Why don't you trust me?"
Isn't it obvious? you want to say. But some mercy remains within you. You'll pick up the pieces another time. Instead, you rasp out, “Good night, Park. I’ll see you on Monday.”
The walk of shame back to your house is long and arduous. Your phone dings thrice, likely signaling texts from Jimin, but you turn it off without checking for sure. For once, the weight on your shoulders is slightly lighter. You huff out a dry laugh, realizing belatedly that maybe Jimin is right—maybe speaking your mind has its benefits.
There’s a small park in your neighborhood that you always pass by. You don’t remember the last time you spared it a second glance, but this time you notice a lone figure swinging back and forth, arching dangerously higher than what you would consider safe. From a distance, all you can make out are the person’s comically bright boots, and you have a sinking suspicion you know who it is without seeing their face.
Cosmos, or whoever it is that controls my life, why must you braid our strings of fate so tightly? You ask, but as always, it refuses to reply.
Against your better judgment, your feet bring you closer towards him. He has his back towards you, his feet pumping him higher and higher and you half expect him to swing in a perfect arc like a gymnast on parallel bars. You have to keep your distance a bit, lest you get the wind knocked out of you by his signature stompers.
You clear your throat, and the boy stops mid-swing and nearly catapults himself into the spongey, playground floor. Hunched over and wheezing, Jungkook directs his shocked eyes at you with a comical stare.
You raise a hand in greeting. A peace offering, maybe. “Hello—”
“I swear I’m not stalking you!” Jungkook interrupts as he scrambles to his feet. He bows deeply in remorse, the action so endearingly him. “S-sorry, I’ll make my way home now…”
“I don’t own the park, Jungkook. I was just saying hello…” You snort, wringing your hands uncomfortably. You grind your shoes into the ground, the sound of crunching leaves breaking the still air. “A-and… to say sorry, for earlier.”
“Sorry?” Jungkook repeats, confused. When he realizes what you mean, he waves his hands frantically. “No, no! Don’t be sorry! It was my fault for being so inconsiderate. I understand how you might misconstrue my actions, and I made things more awkward. I’ll consider your feelings more in the future…”
In the future… You cough, unwilling to meet his bright and honest gaze. If you stare too long, you fear you might go blind.
“I come here to the park often, when I feel too cramped inside my apartment,” Jungkook explains, frantic energy radiating off him in waves. He’s gesticulating too much, a clear sign that he’s trying to hide his nerves. You remember how he would do the same thing in high school, whenever he had to present his projects in front of the class.
You hold a hand up, a weak attempt to get him to calm down. “I’m not here to interrogate you. I just wanted to…” What is it that you wanted to do?
The two of you just stand awkwardly like that, similar to a few weeks ago when you discovered you were neighbors. You’re grasping at straws in your head, both conflicted for wanting to tell him something and running away. Even if you were to talk to him, what would you say? There’s a reason you told Jimin you didn’t want to talk—frankly, it’s mostly because you have no idea what to say or feel.
But you do know, the universe responds.
I ask you questions all the time, and this is how you respond?
Either that, or you’re going insane, the universe remarks.
Jungkook pulls out his phone, his fingers fumbling as he unlocks it. He takes a furtive step towards you, but thinks better of it. There’s a few feet of distance between you, but it feels like worlds apart. Close and yet so far. You recall how you’d easily pull him towards you in the past, how being together felt as natural as breathing.
“I know you absolutely hated it the last time I played my original song at the restaurant, so I refrained from performing any ever since that night. But that didn’t stop me from writing them. I was fine with keeping them locked in a vault forever, but…” He hesitates, searching you for any signs of discomfort. When he sees the carefully blank look on your face, he continues with trepidation.
“Can I try a song for you? You don’t have to say yes, and you’re free to tell me to fuck off and I’ll never even look at you ever again. Just…” He flails one last time, a choked sob making its escape from his throat.
Are you hopeless for wanting to say yes? Or were you reverting back to your old self who relied on him and believed in him so heavily? If you wanted him out of your life for good, you would have quit your job at the first sight of him. Maybe you were masochistic. Or maybe were you hopeful for a new start, a chance to rekindle a relationship that you’ve secretly always wanted to repair.
You have so much life ahead of you. Many more mistakes will be made and maybe they’ll haunt you when you’re older. But would it really be such a terrible gamble to take one more chance?
You nod, and seal your fate.
He presses play, and the soft strumming of a guitar fills the empty playground air.
Not for the first time, you wonder how it can be so easy for Jungkook to be so… honest. He spills his heart in every song that he writes, and you know he’s never been a great liar. He can’t help it, being genuine is in his DNA. This crashing waterfall, this boy with overflowing emotions—he sings what he thinks but feels terrified because of it. You might not understand his honesty, but you know that fear. You know it all too well.
He beholds himself to you—raw and unfiltered. A little battered and bruised, but still Jungkook. Behind everything, still the boy you’ve been yearning for.
Maybe this song is what will give you enough confidence to admit everything to him, too. As you stand there, listening to his mellow voice sing confessions to no one but you and the stars, you think you grow a little more courageous that day.
Maybe you won’t be able to tell him tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, nor next week either. But as you gaze back at his hopeful eyes, you know deep in your heart that you’ll find the words you’ve been looking for.
“I’ll keep waiting for you, if you let me.” Jungkook’s voice floats gently to you, and settles in your open palms. This time, you don’t let go
xxx
Months later, Jungkook stops working at the restaurant when an offer from a major record company arrives in his mail. Apparently, a big shot from the local radio station had pitched him to an employee at that company and they were all pleasantly surprised to find a hidden gem at a random bar and restaurant.
In your apartment, you stare outside your window and to where his home is—well, where it was. You wonder if he finished packing his things, ready to make the big move tomorrow. You stand up with a stretch, sparing a glance at your still broken shower. It would be nice to have one more shower at his place… And after that? Maybe you should start looking for a nicer apartment; somewhere far away might be nice.
Your phone rings, and you see his contact photo light up your screen. With a smile, you answer.
“Come over, if you want. I won’t make you,” Jungkook assures you.
You laugh lightly, already halfway out the door.
#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts reader insert#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bangtan#bts#bts fanfic
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SCROLL FOR @forgettable-au ANGST :D
ok so ((WAILS LOUDLY))
WE KNOW HOW THIS GOES *breaks knuckles* ITS TIME TO TEAR APART MY ART BECAUSE PASSION
trust me, im a proFESSIONAL yapper at this point
This whole thing takes place within my own headcanon that “The Quiche Room” was one of many of Sans and Wingdings’ little hangout spots. They also really liked the echo flower there (maybe they planted it themselves-) Maybe thats why Papyrus is so unnerved and disturbed by echo flowers now…
Notice, the echo flower grows as they grow!
Oh yeah! I had fun drawing them grown in their kid outfits for 2. Wingdings can finally see his ankles
2 is also sorta a reference to my Radio Star comic, same stuff they did as kids, Wingdings working and Sans assisting, They haven’t changed too much yet. haven’t gotten the lab job. yet.
in 3, this is after they get the job at the lab and Wingdings realizes its a great place for supporting his unhealthy habits of seclusion and emotional repression. The echo flower is repeating something Wingdings said a while ago. I dont know what- fill in your own angst I suppose (I cant do EVERYTHING around here)
in 1 and 2, the light sources… are each other. Sans n Wd. Theyre each others lights. Each others stars (cries loudly and noticeably) but then for 3, the only light source is the echo flower. Yknow. The echo flower. with wingdings’ voice
4 is how the quiche room looks in the game 👍 Dunno whats sadder… Wingdings’ voice being removed because he’s in the void now, or because someone just talked over it without a second thought.
Oh yeah, and its empty because Sans and Papyrus don’t remember that ever being a place they hung out.
Yeah.
Yeah, im crying too. Its okay, let it out.
SANS AND GASTER SANS AND GASTER SANS AND GASTER (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE) I need them to interact i’m gonna have an aneurism.
THIS PART IS GETTING ITS OWN SECTION BECAUSE CMON MAN, ITS SANS AND GASTER
It was said in this post that Sans knows he was involved in whatever accident Gaster had, that had MAJOR consequences, and made everything and everyone different.
That makes me wonder, does Sans feel any guilt?? like subconsciously or not, he knows he was involved, so does he suspect he could have done something to stop it, or did something bad, and he was at fault in some way?
I DONT THINK HE WAS
so in 5, Sans is asking “what happened.”
What happened to him, why is everything like this, was it his fault? what did he do? what did he NOT do???
And Gaster just replies “Nothing that wasn’t my own fault.”
OK THATS ENOUGH. WHITEBOARD DOODLES, ATTACK!!!!
also- I PROMISE IM WORKING ON THE DTIYS 😭😭😭 IVE GOT IDEAS IDK HOW TO EXECUTE EM
Heres a thing I made/am working on(???) that was inspired by the dtiys though :3
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~ First Time ~
Bf!Theodore Nott x Virgin!reader
masterlist
Warnings: Loss of Virginity, Fingering, Oral(f!receiving), Praise Kink(kinda?), Smut&Fluff.
(Im pretty sure I corrected any mess ups but please lmk if I missed any)
You were next to your boyfriend on his bed reading up on Ancient Runes for an exam when you felt Theo’s cold hand rubbing up and down your thigh. As you attempted to keep reading, the added distraction of soft kisses being placed up and down your neck and shoulder, made it quite difficult.
“Keep reading Baby,” Theo’s breath tickled your ear before he shifted his body lower to trail kisses over your collar bones and chest.
You and Theo had done many things together, you just for some reason, never felt quite right going further. There were many times similar to this that Theo would disappear beneath the covers and make you wonder why you hadn’t done it yet, but this time you were positive it’s what you wanted.
Theo’s fingers latched under your leggings and thin lace underwear to pull them off. As he admired you naked in front of him his dick twitched at the thought of what it might feel like to be inside of you. However, if there was one thing Theodore Nott was good at, it was being patient, especially when it came to pleasing his girl.
He kissed and nipped at your bare thighs as you failed to keep reading your book, deciding instead to toss it aside and snatch the blanket off of you both to watch your boyfriend. His piercing eyes stared into yours as he swiped his tongue up from your entrance to your clit, sending a shiver down your spine. One of Theo’s large hands planted itself on your lower belly to keep you from squirming as he flicked his tongue faster.
You let out a load moan at his actions making Theo chuckle against you, “Such pretty sounds Baby,” he whispered before again speeding up his work. You tugged on his soft locks between your legs, making him groan as your back arched and your head fell back. Theo’s eyes never left you as he shoved his middle and ring finger fully inside you without warning.
You let out a shriek of pleasure as his fingers and tongue worked in sync to shock your system. You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to feel him, you had to finally have him.
“Theo I want you,” You could barley speak through moans and gasps as he moved his fingers faster with a chuckle, “Theo please I wa- I need you, right now.” He only grinned and continued his tongue’s pace for just a second before lifting his head to speak, letting his fingers move in and out of you now at a slower pace.
“What’d you say Baby? You’re gonna have to speak up.” Theo grinned up at you as his fingers pressed against your g-spot eliciting a breathy moan of his name.
“I’m ready Theo, I want to, right now.” You sigh out between moans before gasping as his fingers slip out of you, moving to plant himself over your entire body.
His face hovered over yours, one hand holding himself up next to your head as the other caressed your side “Really Baby? You’re sure?” His voice was barley above a whisper as he asked for your consent.
“Yes Theo I am, I trust you.” He smiled down at you, catching your lips in a quick kiss before leaning back, yanking his shirt over his head as he did so. His hands fell to your chest, feeling your nipples grow hard through his white button up as he played with them.
“I do love when you wear my clothes Baby but I am gonna to need to take this off, is that ok?” You nodded in agreement with a wide smile letting his hands go down to unbutton the shirt before you pull it off and throw it aside.
He quickly grabbed your exposed chest with a sigh as his other hand expertly unfastened his belt, pulling it from it’s loops and throwing it somewhere in his room with a loud metallic clank that made goosebumps grow over your exposed skin. His hands left you entirely has he kneeled in front of you to hastily pull down his jeans and boxers before kicking them off.
He slowly repositioned himself above you as your hands trailed up his arms and chest. He spread your legs slightly as he softly brought his lips to yours, quickly exploring your mouth with his tongue. You could now feel how hard he was against your thigh and you excitedly and expectedly squirmed below him.
He slowly slid himself up and down through your wet folds as he pushed himself up to watch your face for signs of discomfort. When you whimpered and whined with closed eyes in response, he could tell you weren’t just doing this for him and kept going.
Theo couldn’t help the smile that came to his face when your eyebrows scrunched together as his tip finally slipped inside you. He eased himself in slowly, stretching you out while leaning forward to kiss down your neck.
When a slightly pained whimper left your mouth he stilled to let you adjust and placed gentle, reassuring kisses across your shoulder before whispering against your ear, “It’s okay Baby, m’gonna make you feel good I promise,” His hot breath and words in your ear had you squirming and clenching on him.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned as he took one of your hands from his shoulders and enclosed it in his own on the sheets beside your head, “Baby can I keep going?” His eyes met yours, barley hearing your whispered reply of yes as he focused solely on you.
He groaned as he sheathed himself further inside you, gripping your hand harder as he felt his tip hit your cervix. Stopping his movements, he trailed his eyes between your bodies to where he disappeared inside of you, making him smile cockily.
“Oh look at you Baby, taking all of me like the good girl you are.” You squirmed around him at his words earning a growl and smile as his eyes returned to you.
He leaned down on his forearm to fully connect his skin to yours and began moving his hips back and forth slowly, taking your lips in his own as his free hand tangled itself in you hair to cradle the side of your head. Your whimpers of pain soon turned into moans of pleasure drowned by Theo’s lips as your hand trailed up and around his neck to get lost in his hair. Theo allows himself to pull out farther with each thrust until he’s practically taking himself out all the way and softly returning as his lips left yours to trail love bites up and down your neck.
“Faster please Theo,” You moaned with your eyes shut as he grinned against the growing bruises on your skin. He slightly sped up his movements with each thrust until he was fucking you at a steady pace. He quickly took note of how your walls were clenching around him and your moans were slowly becoming small squeaks of pleasure before your back arched away from his bed as you came around him with a silent scream of pleasure.
He moaned loudly against your neck at your movements, “Ahhh fuuuck Baby,” His voice was breathless as he slowed inside you, his grip on your hand becoming so tight you thought it could break. “Fuck…do you want me to stop?”
“No no no please don’t Theo,” You spoke between pants that quickly became moans again as Theo’s pace automatically picked up faster than before at your words. He drove himself in and out of you letting you ride out your orgasm as he moaned and groaned into your ear.
“You feel fucking amazing y/n,” He spoke before his dick twitched and his muscles tensed. His body shook slightly as he emptied himself inside you making no move to pull out. He let the lower half of his body fall onto you for a second, one hand still holding yours, before the other removed itself from your hair to push himself up and out of you.
“I love you so fucking much y’know that?” He breathed as he littered your face with kisses. You tried to catch your breath from underneath him as he chuckled happily at you.
“I lo…love you…too Theo” You managed before he left a quick peck on your lips and excitedly hopped up off the bed with a giddy smile on his face to retrieve a towel to clean you with.
~~~~
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#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott smut#smut#yn#virgin!reader#fluff#smut and fluff#theodore nott fluff#harry potter#harry potter smut#hp fandom#harry potter fluff
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the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt2
pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]
summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment
warnings: none (i think)
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f1gossipofficial
liked by user1, user2, user3 and others
f1gossipofficial well apparently three of our drivers have been spotted in monaco alongside a broken down car and a number of balloons. they were also spotted quickly getting into a tinted window car. we wonder who the driver of the second car is?
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user1 damnnn they're looking fine today 🤤🤤🤤
user2 finally someone feeding us gossip worthy content, istg this year has been sooooo boring, like where's the spice (but this barely counts btw, someone do something more entertaining lol) user3 but like who were the balloons for??? cause there was A LOTTTTTT and none of their birthdays are soon? user4 nah watch it be like an ex-girlfriend of all of them, the f1 dating pool is a puddle 💀💀💀
user5 lol the amount of people who immediately flocked to the car after seeing them get out of it, like if it was anyone else, those rich people would be honking the hell out of them lol
user6 nah fr fr, like a supercar just stopped bang smack in the middle of a busy monaco street, but everyone cares more about taking pics of the drivers and themselves with the car 🤣🤣
user7 i wonder why they're all together, usually post-padel we never get any interactions of them together, only max and lando
user8 lol stalker level insight right here
user9 that other car is smexy as hell 😻😻😻
user10 ikrrrrr like someone hook me up with a sugar daddy so i can get a nice car collection user11 nah that driver is probs just another wannabe businessman or entrepreneur 😖 user12 lol just watch it be some random ass youtuber pandering for views
user13 OK SOMEONE PLEASE BE AS DELUSIONAL AS ME AND TELL ME THAT'S NICO ROSBERG'S CAR
user14 girlie pop wtf user15 nah she might actually be onto something, istg nico mentioned on insta that he got a new car that looks superrr similar to the one in the pic 🤔
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f1gossipofficial well apparently someone was able to get a view inside the car as the drivers opened the door to get in, and apparently nico rosberg was the one driving the car 😱😱😱 stay tuned for more updates
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user16 OH MY OH MY GODDDDD GUYS IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE PINCH ME RN OMG
user17 ya'll he's BACKKKKKKKK WITH THE F1 GRID user18 GUYS WE'VE BEEN ROBBED FOR YEARS OF A POST NICO ROSBERG CASUAL HANGOUT WITH THE REST OF THE GRID 😭😭😭😭😭
user19 damnnnn this man has aged like fine wine
user20 even with the brocedes trauma, both men are looking great in their late 30s 😙
user21 since when did charles and lando be so like...friendly with rosberg? he's never been on the grid with them... 🤨🤨
user22 i mean he does do the post race interviews, but even that's a bit too professional to have any like "friendship" user23 yeah...interesting.... 🤔 user24 idk maybe recently they've just been able to have more conversations? i mean they all live in monaco, and ig theres not that many places where you wont bump into an f1 driver 🤷🤷
user25 guys does this mean we're getting a y/n nico reunion??? cause the three of them said they were going to visit y/n
user26 nah that was probably as a joke ngl, like they probably saw her earlier today or something 👁️👄👁️ user27 yeah im sure it means absolutely nothing user28 lol famous last words amirite 🙏🙏🙏
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y/n.hamilton
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y/n.hamilton guess which rats im babysitting tonight in monacoooooo 🐀🐀🐀
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user29 Y/N MOTHER WITH HER GRID CHILDRENNNNNN, I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR ❤️❤️❤️
user30 i love her so muchhhh, she just brings the energy all the time user31 i need her in the paddock next year, cause we've been robbed this year of content 😿 user32 fr fr like i need to see my women decked out in her multi team fits complete with a hamilton jersey 💋💋💋
user33 AHHHH THE BOYS LOOKING REALLY GOOD WITH THEIR GIRL TONIGHT
user34 she literally has the cutest friendship with them <3
user35 wait ya'll....is anyone connecting the dots like i am 🕵️🕵️🕵️
user36 ❓❓❓ user37 guys wasn't nico just with them...🧐
user38 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GUYS I THINK MY HEART JUST MIGHT EXPLODE?!?!?!?!?
user39 GUYS IS IT TRUE??? NICO AND Y/N REUNION IN 2023 🤭🤭
user40 YA'LL WE'RE FINALLY GETTING THE BRIT AND BRAT DUO BACK??? GUYS THIS IS TRULY A CULTURAL PHENOMENON FOR THE ELITE 🔥😍🔥😍🔥😍🔥
user41 GUYS 2016 Y/N-NICO TRUTHERS ARISE ONCE AGAIN, WE'VE BEEN DEAD FOR TOO LONG 🙏🙏🙏 user42 guys...i don't think i can be normal after this 🥴🥴🥴
user43 DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY PICTURES OR VIDEOS OF THEM TOGETHER, YOUR HONOUR PLEASE 😭 THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL APPROVE OF PAPARAZZI CAUSE I NEED TO SEE WITH MY PHYSICAL EYEBALLS THAT Y/N AND NICO HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER
user44 😳😳😳 i hate to say it....BUT LOWKEY SAME PLS SOMEONE DO UR THING
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@charlesgirl16 @tallrock35 @sweate-r-weathe-r @unlikelystay @alex-wotton
@daisyfreecs @euphorihan @louloucs @oikarma
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© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.
#⭑ : my work.ᐟ#the-flaneur#smau#x reader#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#f1 smau#nico rosberg fanfic#nico rosberg imagine#nico rosberg smau#nico rosberg fluff#nico rosberg x reader#nico rosberg x you
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jaehaerys administration dashboard simulator
🫧maidenpooled Follow
listen i know all kingsguard are bastards but jonquil darke put a cigarette out on me. i think i huave shivers
♟️redwhine
ok bootlicker. you know what she did
🫧maidenpooled Follow
boots not the only thing id lick
🌸queencrowned Follow
this could literally be me and my brother if it weren't for my bitch mom trying to send me to the other side of the fucking continent
🍒saerious
GIRL STAND UP
🤎bowlofbrown
doctrine of exceptionalism meatriders when someone asks them why 75% of dragonstone is blonde and me and half of flea bottom have gleaming amethyst eyes and/or beautiful delicate cheekbones
🥀maegorwife Follow
that's different...targaryens are literally divinely ordained by the seven to rule because they're stronger and better than us...that's why they have the dragons it is in their sanctified valyrian blood
🩸knifeinthedark
SO TRUE...THEY WANT TO ABOLISH THE RIGHT TO FIRST NIGHT BECAUSE OF WOKE. AND YET THEY STILL DO IT. BUT NO ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE OR THOSE GENDER-NEUTRAL DRAGONS WILL BURN YOUR KEEP DOWN
🤎bowlofbrown
cannot stand this fucking website. spending my last silver stag on tyroshi blue hair dye im not going to be associated with you people.
🍒saerious
oh so when maegor has seven wives he’s “aegon’s true son” and “cool” but when i have three boyfriends suddenly im a “whore”
🫀lustywench Follow
op i support you but they did call him “the cruel” for that it was a very important part of the story that he was in fact maegor “the cruel”
🌟sevenpointedstar
🌗maidensgrace
doing all of this with a FAITH OF THE SEVEN URL...girl you better pick a hell and start hoping
#bring back the faith militant
❄️theythemderly
hey isn’t it weird that so many of the king’s children have suddenly and mysteriously died lately. under the care of the maesters. what if they’re planning something…,
🕯️glasscandled
ugh i wish🙄 speed that shit up fr
🥵ullerscorpion
likes charge reblog cast
😈themarcherrrrrr-deactivated5699
me when im in a being dead combination and my opponents are jaehaerys' whole army of childraeyn of the corn
🙌fleabottomtop
yoooooooo theyre quarrelling again.
🙌fleabottomtop
alysanne targaryen if you're reading this i could change your life just give me one chance let me hit
🙌fleabottomtop
there are gold cloaks outside of my house
⚔️errantmaid Follow
kingsguard dick is good as fuck when you don't have a motherfucker in your ear saying it violates a sacred vow made in the eyes of the king and the seven😜
⚔️errantmaid Follow
the king chopped it off and sent him to the wall i fucking hate this place can't have SHIT in king's landing
🏵️floriansjonquil
hey has anyone seen princess gael. it's been literal months and she seems to have up and disappeared with no official announcement from the palace? would be the third female relative to go missing in the king's custody after aerea and saera....
🐝beeeeeeeeeeeeesbury Follow
damn that's crazy. im sure shes fine though anyways i'm a big fan of this new road the king built theres a lot of nice new roads does anyone else like the roads
🐦⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow
day 18262 of not fighting the brackens. this is boring as fuckkkkk what am i supposed to do. pretend to care about the triarchy?
🐎brackennation
kill yourself
🐦⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow
192.158.1.38. doxxed. get your dumbfuck horse breeder knights ready because our strongest and noblest raven warriors are on the way to your nasty ass keep right now bitch
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𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕠𝕪𝕒𝕝𝕥𝕪
𝙔𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝙆𝙄 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙐 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙆 𝙃𝙀'𝙎 𝘾𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ 𓆩♡𓆪 ☽⋆˚。⋆˚.
✰warnings: yandere themes, kissing, making out ish, a lot of fluff after they makeup<3
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Why would y/n care if the man who hurt her, kidnapped her, forced her to live with him in his home to go see other women? she hates him after all doesn't she? she wishes she does, but she just can't. He's so sweet to her despite the fact he abducted her purely because he loves her, he stopped his obsessive killing of men who even look in her direction, and now he even trusts her enough to leave, just the bedroom door unlocked. He literally killed for her, of course he'd die for her.
Y/n hates that she thinks he'd do such a thing, she received a picture from a friend on her snap, of Riki walking alongside another woman. They looked so close... she was flirtatious with him, arm around his shoulders, and he smiled at her. The woman being someone she loathed, a bitch who has beaten many girls almost to death, and tried to use y/ns personal life against her. Basically a bitch. To say she was mad was an understatement. The man who abducted her, killed for her, and treated her like a princess, forcing her to be his is with another fucking woman?!
She flinched a little as the door suddenly shut, interrupting her out of her thoughts. "baby im home~" he called. Y/n glared at the wall, waiting for him to enter the bedroom. "Why didn't you come to the door pretty girl?" he asked as Y/n frowned. "Am i pretty girl? or is she?!" y/n asked, as Riki sat opposite her on their bed. "who exactly is her?" he asked, a little confused "the side-chick that had her grubby hands all over you. im sorry, you drag me here claiming that you love me, killed a classmate that confessed to me, and used his many crimes as an excuse, only for you to cheat with a basic bitch who does nothing but whores around spending mommy's money and using daddy's name to defend her crimes?!" she lets out, clearly upset.
However riki just smiled, his eyes staring at her endearingly "my sweetheart is jealous~" he cooed as he tried to reach for her, mad y/n slapped his hands away. "ok ok cool cool... that bitch has been getting on my nerves lately... she filmed you getting dressed so I had to play the part to show her her place... don't worry I haven't killed her... yet..." he smirks, turning on the news. There she was, the girl's photo, somewhat blurred, being exposed for her many offences that she coverred up. "As for the video, deleted forever..." he added as y/n just sat there, unsure of what to do.
A few hours of silence pass, Riki was watching TV, as y/n finished up a few tiny chores. Seeing him, she heaved a quiet sigh, and slipped in the seat beside him. "Im cold" she said staring at him as he looked her up and down "Of course you are, it's autumn and you're wearing a thin-strapped croptop- and the material of those jeans are way too thin." he complained as Y/n frowned. "I said Im cold!" she whined as Riki snickerred. "you have to pay me first." he said as she bit her lip.
She leaned in, catching his soft, plush, perfect lips in a loving kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist, as they let their tongues collide, one of his hands rested at her head, as she placed her arms around his shoulders, deepening the kiss as much as she could. As she pulls away, she leaves a few soft kisses down his jawline to his neck, and sinks into his warm embrace. "Dont you dare cheat on me... I'll cry." She mumbled as she snuggled against him. "God you must think im insane if im ever willing enough to cheat on you. do you know how long ive waited for you?!" Riki asked.
He unzipped his hoodie, wrapping it around her a little, as he yanked a soft blanket to wrap around them "What do you wanna watch?" he asked "I know i've watched it a lot but... Let's watch so not worth it and order some nice food hmm?" Y/n suggests as he kisses her nose "Anything for you my lifeline~" he smiled, pulling out his phone to order food.
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a/n: yeah i don't even know about this... hope u enjoyed it tho<3
#enhypen#enha x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen niki#ni ki#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfic#yandere riki#enhypen yandere#niki yandere#yandere enha#yandere enhypen#yandere niki#yandere!enhypen#yandere!niki#yandere#yandere male#tw yandere#yandere boyfriend#soft yandere#yandere x darling#enhypen nishimura riki#riki fluff#riki nishimura#riki nishimura x reader#nishimura riki#enhypen riki#riki
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