#but shes still new to being free at this point

[hrrtshape]

i am finally at financial peace and my 3d is bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!. or how i climbed my sisyphean mountain. or manifestation success story!!!!!!!!!! because i know people need loa blogger to show their results!!!!

emmanation. listen. i know after today some of you were looking at me like. oh. she's hit the limit. this is the peak. how could it possibly get better than balenciaga and multiple rounds of free café crème. and to that i say: babies of mine. don't tempt fate. of course it can get better. of course it will. that's literally the whole point of me being on this app. i’m everyone’s fairy godmother.

so. context: we splurged. a few monsters. maybe you saw the earlier post. but here's the part you don't know. just under two years ago, my mom's bakery empire lwk collapsed lol. roman republic style. one minute we were doing tasting menus for private chefs, the next i'm shoplifting m&ms because the cashier's back was turned and my lunch was a moral question. my mom had to start a whole new business from actual scratch. we're talking: me skipping school to crack ten dozen eggs. me piping gluten-free mille feulle at midnight. me doing admin work while covered in flour and let me be real, businesses don't exactly pull louis vuitton profits in year one. and yet.

last year for my birthday i had ice cream. no cake. i paid for my own lunch. and i smiled through it because what else do you do. this year? i got a 2.5k louis bag. limited edition. last one in paris. you tell me if that's a manifestation win.

(also yes. i've shifted. fifteen times since like. late jan. early feb. but with shifting it’s hard to PROVE???? it???? so here’s my manifestation success story lol because at least my cr is tangible.)

and before anyone asks why i'm not permashifting. the answer is obvious. my mom. she's in all my drs, yes. she's always fine there. but i can't leave her here yet. i just can't. not while there's still rent. not while i can still help. i don't care how many authors i am in how many timelines, she's my person.

and this matter to me. because. like. not just for the receipts. not just for the bag, i can get one in my drs lol. not even for the fact that the saleswoman said “this is the only one in-store in paris left” and my mom still said yes.

it matters because this is still my…………i dont know. not original place, but the place i’m in. the one i always woke up in. the one with the same street corners and same bank account passwords and same people who think change is slow or conditional or maybe not even possible. and i needed, needed!!!!!!!!!!! to prove that it is. that you can turn it all around with nothing but the words in your head. not a job, not a plan, not a miracle, just the assumption that it’s already done.

because i’ve been wanting a bag like this since i was like ten when i first saw regina george waltz around with that pink lv sakura bag. before i even knew what loa was. before shifting. before i could spell balenciaga properly. and when i started affirming it, when i started saying it’s mine over and over and over, it didn’t make sense. not with our finances, not with our timeline, not with what we had left in savings. like it shouldn’t have worked. but it DID. because i didn’t flinch. i said “it’s mine” even when it looked like a joke, even when we walked into the store with maybe zero intent to buy, even when the price tag could’ve said dream on.

and then it happened, and not because i had shifted or because i worked hard. or that i deserved it. but because i assumed. i decided it was mine and everything else rerouted.

so no. this isn't me going “yay look at my hauls!!!” this is me going: this is the chapter where i realise reality really does melt if you keep poking it. i’m telling you because it’s real. you don’t have to wait, you don’t have to earn. you just have to assume. and keep assuming even when the world says you’re dumb for it. especially then. that’s when it’s working.

and i only started understanding loa properly-properly like. three months ago? and already the dominoes are going down!!!!!!!!!!i'm telling you!!!!!!!it's not about how. you already know how. the part you're scared of is doing it without flinching, so do it. don't wait for it to feel holy. don't wait to be worthy. just assume. it's so much closer than you think, i promise, i really, really promise.

[greenplumbboblover]

[WIP] TS3 UI "Krystal"

I figured it would be cool to finally publicly share what I've been working on behind the scenes, as well as some mockups!

A few of you on Patreon or Discord may have already seen sneak peeks/given feedback. I kept things quiet because I wasn’t sure I’d even do it in the first place as a next modding project, and I didn’t want to let anyone down.

Luckily, @lazyduchess’s Monopatcher made the job ten times easier. The biggest hurdle was that I would've had to make a core mod to override UI code (I’m normally anti–core mod), but the patcher solved that and let me push ahead.

(Psst, if you're looking at seeing the mockups bigger, I also posted this post on my site: Simblr.cc 😉)

Creating the Mockups

Fun fact: I actually have a degree in UI/UX design! (for websites) While principles like “How wide should this padding be?” or “Which colors send the right signal to the user?”—game UI is a whole different beast.😬

Main Menu

I started with the main menu:

Cut the SimPoints clutter and the “Buy TS4!” banner—after a decade, we get it exists 😉.

Grouped items into clean blocks

Added a text-free “Create New Family” icon

Swapped lot thumbnails for family shots (still baffled by EA’s original choice).

Dropped an options gear in the bottom-left; might label it if it’s too subtle.

Different backgrounds: one solid blue, one closer to the classic gradient.

A lil' sneek peek of where I'm at:

She's not finished, but it's definitely getting there! 😉

Load Screen

Not much has changed here! It's just less... busy I suppose, lol!

2 Different backgrounds to choose from

Moved the Game Tips to the bottom, so the main focus stays on that loading bar 😉

I also have a third option but I'm strongly leaning towards just having the loading bar as it's the most clear!

Live Mode

The hardest of them all lol. Kudos to EA for figuring that one all out! I really struggled with this one in regards to shape and what to even move around/remove!

I figured, it should be nice to pull really into that glassmorphism I've been using over the Mockups! Now I do realise that it can hamper user experience in the sense of not being able to read anything. But these are pictures! So that should be all fine and dandy.

The active item in the queue will now be more "visible". The queued item however, you'll see look a bit more "unactive" compared to what the current version has.

I also completely overhauled the thumbnails for your sims, showing their moods a bit better, and giving the active sim a tiny plumbob! :D

And now the real deal: The control panel! You might notice it's not the whole thing, but I'm still working on that part.

I removed the camera controls from the panel. However, upon feedback, I did hear that it's better to have them as some people are limited in their hand movements on their keyboard and that those controls are really useful. So I will make sure to share 2 versions :)

I also realised I completely forgot the Build/buy mode buttons 😬 So, err, stay tuned for that? lol.

Notifications I really just tidied up :p

I am aware that the space where the text is and the thumbnail is huge, and normally I'd wrap the surrounding text, but apparently in TS3's UI stuff that's practically impossible. Hence that they got this "2 column" effect to them 😉

About releasing the UI:

I'm hoping to release them all in bits and pieces! So first up is the Main Menu (and possibly the Loading screen given it's simplicity).

After that, I hope in my second "update" to release a big portion of Live mode, but that's a bigger task on it's own of course 😉

Any feedback at this point is also completely welcome by the way!

[justaz]

Dude theres also free pdfs online that I constantly go back and reference even tho I have the physical books - they’re very accessible but they are a bit of a pain to read in pdf form but its still there if anyone wants to use it as like a last resort or something

Oh dude the Piper and Jason thing also gets me sometimes. Like I get the hc of Piper being a lesbian (even if canonically she’s unlabeled and I stand ten toes down for that as someone who is also unlabeled) but thats still just a headcanon. I recently got into an argument with someone about this 😭😭 tho my argument was more nitpicky of their language and they seemed to be confusing “unlabeled” for “in the closet”/“closeted” bc they were like “Piper is a canon lesbian” and I was just like “she’s canonically unlabeled so you mean u hc her as a lesbian??” bc a lot of people were taking their words as gospel and going “omg i can’t believe piper is a lesbian i have to read these books” or “i keep finding reasons that i love piper omg” like…no…she’s canonically unlabeled. she said she’s just a big ol queer mess, but yeah they were also pushing the whole Jiper being comphet and forced by the gods and like…ehhhh???

Yeah Hera brought them together and gave Piper false memories, but she was almost immediately told they were fake. She was able to look past them and form new ones with Jason and actively pursued him and was very clearly into him in her chapters during HOO. Then they broke up at some point after that bc Jason was hiding things and Piper couldn’t trust him then she later said she didn’t want to be with him romantically - could be interpreted a few ways but considering the past writings (not that we can fully rely on the shit riordan gives us omg it is so contradictory 😭) it seems like she just lost feelings for him. Shes not into him anymore, but their relationship before then was her ACTIVELY PURSUING HIM. Again, I don’t mind the hc of her being a lesbian and that being comphet but again again there is a clear line between canon and headcanon. Lesbian Piper is a headcanon, Unlabeled Piper is canon.

A headcanon that relies on something that isn’t even true - their relationship was not fabricated, Piper was given false memories that Annabeth immediately dispelled for her. After that, Piper pursued him on her own. Ugh. Anyways. LMAO

OH WAIT LET ME ALSO RANT ABOUT ANOTHER TAKE THAT I DESPISE THAT I’M SEEING A LOT MORE OF FOR SOME REASON

“Luke wasn’t a pedo”

YES HE WAS.

“I don’t interpret the line in tlo as romantic”

IT CANONICALLY WAS. PERCY AND ANNABETH BOTH SAID THEMSELVES IN CANON TEXT THAT LUKE WAS ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN ANNABETH BEFORE HE DIED. HE IS BY DEFINITION A FUCKING PEDOPHILE

Like idc if someone agrees or doesn’t with Luke’s motivations for siding with Kronos, I feel like that’s where the line “different interpretations of canon” applies especially. But in regards to him being a shit person? That’s canon. The Luke in your head who isn’t a pedophile? That’s an oc. That’s not canon Luke. Canon Luke tried to confess to 16 year old Annabeth Chase while he was dying at the ripe old age of 23. Canon Luke manipulated a 14 year old Silena Beauregard into being his spy by using her crush on him to his advantage as a 19 year old. He is a pedophile. You Cannot Interpret That Any Differently.

I beg. Please. Reread the books. I need the reliance on fanon to stop. Canon is right there.

No one “debated saving Nico”. They all agreed immediately to save him:

When Percy was dreaming of Nico trapped in the jar he said: “‘Nico,’ Percy said, ‘where is this place? We'll save you....’” - Literally the first time he sees Nico, he decides that they’re going to save him

Then after Percy tells everyone at the table, their reaction is: “‘The giants are trying to lure us," Annabeth said. ‘They're assuming we'll try to rescue him.’ / ‘Well, they're right!’ Hazel looked around the table, her confidence apparently crumbling. ‘Won't we?’ / ‘Yes!’ Coach Hedge yelled with a mouthful of napkins. ‘It'll involve fighting, right?’ / ‘Hazel, of course we'll help him,’ Frank said. ‘But how long do we have before... uh, I mean, how long can Nico hold out?’” - Of course Hazel agrees immediately, as does Coach Hedge and Frank

After discussing the seeds, Piper says: “‘That's not much time,’ Piper summed up. She put her hand on Hazel's shoulder. ‘We'll find him. At least we know what the lines of the prophecy mean now. 'Twins snuff out the angel's breath, who holds the key to endless death.' Your brother's last name: di Angelo. Angelo is Italian for 'angel.'’” - Piper agrees immediately and brings up the prophecy which reaffirms the importance of Nico and a key part he plays in the quest, which means they need to save him

Percy introspection and final vocal agreement: “Percy stared at his jelly donut. He had a rocky history with Nico di Angelo. The guy had once tricked him into visiting Hades's palace, and Percy had ended up in a cell. But most of the time, Nico sided with the good guys. He certainly didn't deserve slow suffocation in a bronze jar, and Percy couldn't stand seeing Hazel in pain. ‘We'll rescue him,’ he promised her. ‘We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death.’” - Which is the set up for what people are actually in such an uproar about, the questioning of Nico’s loyalty even though the question is completely valid as Percy points out here. Nico is more a rogue agent, he does his own thing like when he lured Percy down to the Underworld to receive information about his mother. Sure he didn’t know what Hades would do, but Percy didn’t know there was a deviation to the plan in the first place - a plan in which he was already risking his life, trusting in Nico only to be betrayed even if Nico didn’t mean for it to be one.

Argo II scoreboard right now is 5/8 vocally agreeing to save him, no matter what the rest say, the votes are in favor of a rescue mission, especially with the importance the prophecy places on Nico. The only ones who haven’t vocally agreed to save him are Annabeth, Leo, and Jason.

Leo starts the vocal questioning of the safety and security of the plan: “‘Uh...’ Leo shifted in his chair. ‘One thing. The giants are expecting us to do this, right? So we're walking into a trap?’ / Hazel looked at Leo like he'd made a rude gesture. ‘We have no choice!’” - Leo is simply questioning the plan and Hazel reacts viscerally because she’s so focused in on Nico being in danger that the slightest hesitation seems like a worse problem than it is. Nothing against Hazel, I’d react the same way if it was my brother, but still Leo never said “let’s not save this emo loser” he’s just saying that there is a clear threat posed here that they’re walking right up to

Leo and Jason voice the same opinion: “‘Don't get me wrong, Hazel. It's just that your brother, Nico... he knew about both camps, right?’ / ‘Well, yes,’ Hazel said. / ‘He's been going back and forth,’ Leo said, ‘and he didn't tell either side.’ / Jason sat forward, his expression grim. ‘You're wondering if we can trust the guy. So am I.’” - They don’t question saving him, they question the plan and Nico’s loyalty. For good reason. Again, Nico is established more as a rogue agent. Who’s to say he didn’t side with the giants and is in cahoots with them to lure the Seven into this trap for Gaea to bring Bianca or his mother back? They’re pointing out concerns and questions, it’d be idiotic to go into this situation with a half-baked plan and no backups if they don’t consider all possibilities and Nico’s loyalty has always been up in the air which is a huge red flag in this situation

Climax of the “debate”: “Hazel shot to her feet. ‘I don't believe this. He's my brother. He brought me back from the Underworld, and you don't want to help him?’ / Frank put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Nobody's saying that.’ He glared at Leo. ‘Nobody had better be saying that.’ / Leo blinked. ‘Look, guys. All I mean is-‘ / ‘Hazel,’ Jason said. ‘Leo is raising a fair point. I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as... well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful.’” - And then Hazel blows up and storms off. Frank reassured Hazel that no one was saying that then gave Leo the push to make it clear that wasn’t what he was saying and that’s what Leo was going to do (clarifying his point) before Jason cuts in and defends Leo from the offense that Hazel is on. He reaffirms that they’re just questioning his loyalty, they have to be careful when going to rescue him, they never said they would leave him to suffocate and rot.

Please stop this propaganda and reread the books or at least the wiki. I swear fanon has y’all in a goddamn chokehold.

Anyways, here’s the apology scene so y’all will maybe shut up:

“‘…Sometimes demigods make bad choices.’ He looked sheepishly at Hazel. ‘Like sometimes we're too suspicious. And we speak without thinking.’ / Hazel stared at him. Slowly it seemed to dawn on her that he was apologizing. / Jason elbowed Leo. / ‘Ow!’ Leo yelped. ‘I mean, yeah...bad choices. Like not trusting people's brothers who, you know, might need saving. Hypothetically speaking.’” - Apologizing for being suspicious and not trusting Nico, not apologizing for not wanting to save him, apologizing for their suspicious words against Nico’s loyalties hurting Hazel

[springismss]

Okay, I hope you don't find that idea stupid. But I can't stop thinking about it.

What about a story where, whenever Dabi isn't with the league, he meets up with a girl? Like that's his best friend with benefits.

She's actually quirkless and her dad kicked her out when she was 18, cuz tf is he supposed to do with a quirkless kid? (His words.)

So she can relate to Dabi and that's why they're so close.

Now after 'Dabi's dance' and the big fight approaching, she's scared of losing him. And he wants that she always has a piece of him (meaning a baby).

If you don't write pregnancy trope that's okay, my love. But it basically ends with real emotional sex? And whispered confessions in smoke and flames?

ᱬ⛧ one last time ~ dabi

pairing: dabi x fwb?! female reader

content: 18 mdni. p in v, fingering, pet names, implied need to breed, implied pregnancy, anime/manga spoilers for new fans/not caught up.

word count: 3.5k

links: bnha/mha masterlist | masterlist

a/n: thank you for being my first request, my love! might be a bit long, but fingers crossed, this is what you wanted. if you want a request, feel free to check out my pinned post that has my rules link in before requesting. as always likes, comments and re-blogs are deeply appreciated!

The buzzing of the neon sign behind you became more apparent the longer you stood to the side of the shop. He had to be nearby by now. Reaching into your jacket pocket, you took out your phone and glanced at the time: 10:30 at night.

Huffing out, you shoved your phone away and rummaged in your other pocket, pulling out a cigarette. Bringing it up to your lips, you placed it between them and continued to rummage for a lighter, groaning in frustration when you realised you had forgotten yours. "As if tonight couldn't get any worse".

Closing your eyes, you took a moment to calm yourself, trying not to let the thoughts get to you. You'd only managed to get over what happened when you turned eighteen. Coming home from being out with friends to find your bag packed, kicked out moments later because your father couldn't handle having a quirkless child around him any longer.

As far as he was concerned, you were dead to him the second it became clear you were never going to have a quirk. You were a part of the population he detested and wanted to try to abolish. An utter failure as a daughter. In his words "No one will want a freak like you. Your lot need to die out because what the fuck am I supposed to do with a quirkless kids?".

The memory was all but patchy, but you would use it to keep you going until the day you died.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, doll".

Opening your eyes, you glanced to your side and smiled. Relief washed over you as you turned to the person who spoke. No matter what, you could always count on them. "Dabi! I didn't think you were going to show". Lifting your hand, you went to grab the cigarette between your lips, only to be stopped. Blue flames light the end for you.

Sucking in a breath, you savoured the way the smoke filled your lungs, clamness washing over you. Removing the object from between your lips, you passed it over to the male who stood beside you, smoke blowing from your lips as you breathed out. "I'm surprised you wanted to meet with me tonight, thought you had some business with the league".

Shrugging his shoulders, Dabi took the cigarette and pulled it to his lips, mimicking your actions. "Told them I had someone to meet. Didn't know when I'd be back because they're important".

You knew he was being honest; he was from the day you met him.

You'd only been out on the streets for a few days, but you'd still managed to fight tooth and nail to find somewhere reasonably sheltered to help keep you safe from the elements. That's when you met Dabi. He'd just so happened to be in the same area you were sleeping.

When he caught sight of you, he was going to kill you; you were no good to him or the league at that point, but the more he saw you fight against him, albeit quirkless, he realised you were a lot like him. Especially when he heard how much of a failure your so-called father thought you were.

No one knew who he was, what his name was or his background. All they knew him as was Dabi. Yet he felt like he had found someone who would be on equal footing with him in some sense. Had you had a quirk, then maybe you could have joined him in the league, instead, he opted for befriending you, eventually becoming friends with benefits.

Benefits he knew both of you were happy to agree on. Benefits that made the two of you grow closer until you considered each other best friends.

Whenever he wasn't with the league or grew bored, he always found his way to you to pass some time. It didn't matter what, as long as he was with you, that's all that mattered.

Pushing your body off the wall, you took a few small steps and ran your hand up his arm, fingers ghosting over his parted lips as you smiled. Part of you didn't want this friends-with-benefits agreement; you wanted to be the one who he woke up to every day and fell asleep to every night. The one who he gave every single part of himself to, not just his body. "You're looking sentimental, doll, doesn't suit that pretty face of yours".

Furrowing your brows, you looked up at him and opened your mouth to speak, only to feel a rough kiss steal your breath away. Hands that disposed of the cigarette before clinging onto your body, dragging up your side, before lifting you.

On instinct, your legs wrapped around his waist as your fingers threaded into his hair, needy moans slipping past your lips as you felt bites at the sensitive skin on your neck. "Fuck, need you now princess. Need to feel that pretty cunt of yours squeeze around me".

Sighing out, you tugged on his hair harder, earning a deep groan in the crook of your neck. "Well, what are you waiting for, buddy? Don't you know it's rude to keep a girl waiting?".

It wasn't too long until you found yourself in a room, face pressed into the mattress as Dabi roughly thrusted into you, drool pooling under your mouth as you moaned out. From the corner of your eyes, you took in the face of the man who became your self-proclaimed best friend, the man who you gave every part of yourself to with no questions asked.

Little did you know what the next few months would bring and the way your world would nearly flip on its head.

Staring at the screen in front of you, you placed your hand over your mouth, the shock evident on your features. He had to be joking, right? Yeah, that's it, it was all one big joke to get back at a hero he obviously didn't like.

Still, those words rang in your head the more you dwelt on them. "My name is Touya Todoroki". Dabi, your best friend, was the son of the number one hero. The son he thought he'd lost.

Letting your head drop to your chest, you felt your heart beating erratically. Panting for breath as you tried to get your head around everything. Everything that was going to happen and what you were feeling. Deep down, you knew that was it, you'd only get to see him a few more times before he disappeared again.

Only this time, the feeling was almost replaced by something more, something almost like dread.

Glancing at your phone a few hours later, your eyes lingered on the text that Dabi had sent you. A text to let you know he was coming to see you again tonight, with a location where he wanted you to meet him. A location you were now at.

Chewing your lip, you tore your eyes away from your phone just in time to see Dabi walk in, eyes widening in shock when you took in his new appearance. Everything seemed the same except for his hair. Hair that was once black was now white. He really did want to prove everything to Endeavour, by the looks of it.

Standing to your feet, you walked over to him, arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled yourself to him in a hug. A hug that needed no words as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing you closer to him.

Then you felt it, the wet patches on your cheeks as you pressed your face closer to his. Your heart continued to beat erratically in your chest as you tried to stop yourself. Stop the tears flowing, but try as hard as you wanted, you couldn't. You couldn't stop the way you were feeling.

Vulnerable and scarred.

"We both know I love nothing more than seeing people cry, doll, but not you. Tell me what's wrong".

Sniffling, you pulled back and looked up at him, eyes scanning over him as you took in every single detail of him you could. Every little thing, just in case this was the last time you saw him. "Dabi, I'm scared. I don't want to lose you, but this feeling in my chest, it won't go away. No matter how hard I try to swallow the lump in my throat, it won't work...".

Feeling the tears prick at your eyes again, you swallowed heavily, hoping the lump in your throat would disappear as you brought a shaky hand up to cup his face. "... I can't shake this feeling of dread, the feeling that you're going to walk out that door and I'm never going to see you again".

Humming out, Dabi removed one hand from his grip on you and lifted it to your hand, fingers intwining with yours after he rubbed the back of your hand. "You know, doll, I've always told you that being sentimental doesn't suit you, but I understand where you're coming from".

Leaning down, he hovered his lips above yours. He knew exactly what you meant. He was scared as well. After all this time, he was starting to realise how much he loved you. Sure, the begin with you were nothing more than an friend who was easy fuck but over time, he found himself falling deeper in love with you.

The way you sounded when you were talking to him, even more when you were moaning out for him when he slipped deep inside you. The way you touched him, like you weren't scared of him and how he looked. The way you looked at him like he was your equal, your long-lost friend, someone you were happy to spend time with, regardless of what you were doing.

So he did the only thing he could think of in that moment, the only way he knew how to show you how much he loved you.

Pressing his lips to yours, he let go of your hand to cup your face, eyes closing with a smirk as he felt you press closer into his body. This is how things would go before he pinned you down and fucked your roughly but you needed reassurance and that's what he was going to do.

The cool air lapped at your skin as you felt your body being laid down on the mattress in the room. After Dabi had broken the kiss you were sharing, he took his time to remove the items of clothing you had on, dropping them into a pile just to the side of you both. Looking up, you took in the sight of him hovering above you, body as bare as yours.

He knew you wanted to say something; the look in your eyes was evident. He wanted to say something too, but he wasn't sure how to get the words out he wanted. "Let me show you what I'm trying to say to you".

Rough hands slipped down your body, taking in every curve and detail as he took his time feeling every inch of you. From the way your neck felt smooth against his fingers to the way your breasts felt cupped in his hand, your nipples hardening under his touch and he rolled the palm of his hand over the mound.

Fingers travelling down your torso, until he reached just above the one place he wanted to be. Wanted to be buried deep inside. Normally he would have you squirming as he finger fucked you, bringing you close to your euphoria time again until you came undone with a broken cry. The place he'd sink his cock into and rut harshly while marking you in every way possible.

Letting out a shaky breath, Dabi let his fingers slip lower, listening to the way your breathing changed.

The way you sucked in breaths as the pad of his thumb rubbed circles over your clit. The way you panted softly when he eventually sank two fingers deep into you, slowly stretching your walls. The way you moaned out when he brushed against the spongy spot he knew would have you crying out for more when he was deep within you.

Normally, he'd drag this out as he hauled you around until you couldn't take any more, but you always could. Right now, though, he wanted to be inside you.

Letting his fingers slip out, you let a small whine pass your lips as you looked at him, eyes slightly glassy as you reached out. "Dabi, please".

He could hear it in your voice, the need and how scared you were. Manourving himself until he sat between your legs, he leant forward and let his one of his hands rest beside your face, the other lazily pumping his cock before he lined up the mushroom tip and pressed into you, pushing past that small resistance he loved.

The harsh thrusts were replaced by slow ones, ones that dragged the long moans from your very core. Ones that had you wrapping not only your legs around Dabi's waist but your arms around his neck as you tried to ground yourself. "Please, don't leave me".

The way you sounded, so vulnerable, it broke his heart. He didn't want to leave you, but reality was he would have to as he might never come back from this fight. "Hush now, princess, let me give you a piece of me. A piece that no one else will ever get to have".

Loosening your arms from around his neck, Dabi kelt up and placed a hand on your body, right above where he could feel his cock thumping into you. "This is where I'll leave that piece. A baby that will always remind you of me, no matter what happens".

Gasping out, you looked to him just in time to feel him lifting your legs up, pressing them against your chest as he pressed his cock deeper into you. "I'm going to make love to you so you'll always have a piece of me".

Letting out a sob, you arched as best you could as he pulled out, hips snapping back to push the head of his cock deeper into your cunt once again. He wasn't going to stop until there was a definite chance you'd end up pregnant.

Before long, the sounds of desperation and neediness filled the room "Fuck, princess, I'm going to fill you so full you'll be feeling me for weeks".

You couldn't answer, too dazed by the building pressure. All you could do was nod, drunkily repeating his name over again until you snapped. A broken cry sounding from your throat as you arched once more, walls of your cunt helping him as he emptied his seed deep within you. Flooding your womb until you couldn't take any more.

Lying in a tangle of limbs, you both panted, trying to regain composure. Neither of you wanting to leave the other anytime soon.

It has been four months since you last saw Dabi. No calls or texts had been responded to. It was like he disappeared from the face of the planet.

Holding your hand over your mouth, you coughed into it as you scanned the area. The path of blue flames led you this way, but you still couldn't see him. And the heat, the heat was starting to become overwhelming, the more flames you encountered. "Fuck, where are you Dabi?".

Letting your hand drop, you tugged at the hem of your shirt until it ripped enough for you to make a temporary mask to stop you from breathing in any more smoke. It was dangerous enough, but you couldn't risk getting hurt right now. If he wasn't dead already, he'd be dead by the time you got your hands on him.

Pressing forward, you walked a few more minutes, stopping when you saw a figure ahead. A figure dressed in white. "Dabi?".

Tensing when he heard your voice, Dabi turned to look over his shoulder, eyes looking at you, before his features softened. Of course, you'd track him out here, getting ready to head off into battle. "What do you want, doll?"

Stopping in your tracks, you could feel your heart thumping erratically, threatening to break out of your ribcage at any given moment. "I need to talk to you". Your eyes tracked him as he turned around, revealing the white outfit he was wearing. He looked handsome, but to you, he always did. "I don't have time".

Ripping the material off your face, you walked forward and grabbed his hand, refusing to let go as you shook. "I don't fucking care if you don't have time, you'll make time for me and listen to what I have to say to you".

Casting his gaze to the side, he studied the area up ahead. He still had some time before he was due to fight, so he guessed he could listen to what you had to say. "What is it, doll?

Sucking in a breath, you sighed it out before casting your gaze up to meet his. "I love you, Dabi. I know you don't feel the same way. What we did a few months ago was something to console me, but I can't take it any longer...",

The tears you felt prick your eyes began to slip down your cheek as you rested your hand on your belly, thumb rubbing the skin in a way to comfort yourself. "... I can't do this on my own without you. I feel like my heart is breaking each time you ignore me".

Tilting his head, Dabi watched as you gripped your top, tugging at it before you reached for him, desperate to pull him closer to you. He hated seeing you like this; it reminded him of the first time he ever saw you all those years ago.

You still reminded him of his younger self.

Letting out a sob, you gripped hold of his hand and pulled him closer, letting his hand rest on top of your belly. Under the pads of his fingers, he could feel how the skin was stretched slightly. How something pressed against the palm of his hand as he looked at you.

"I love you, Dabi, more than you'll ever know. I've loved you since the stupid ice rink incident when we nearly got caught in the changing rooms, climbing out the window. When you thought setting off the fire alarm was a brilliant idea, only to get yourself stuck....".

You took in a shaky breath at the memory. Your sides were hurting for days after every time you saw him. Safe to say he was as pouty as ever.

"... I crave the way you feel against me. Your kisses, your touches, everything. I love every single part of you, and I feel like I'm dying without you by my side. I know you don't feel that same, but that promise you made, to always have a piece of you with me, it came true".

He could hear it in your voice, the pain, the hurt, the pride and the love. He could hear every emotion you were feeling at that point. He might have been a villain, but who was he to deny you his feelings when you just poured out your heart to him?

The sound of footsteps behind him caught his attention, a quick glance confirmed they were nothing but minor heroes, heroes that would be good kindling for his flames until the real threat came. Lifting his free hand, he let out a blast of flames, screams echoing as smoke began to grow thicker.

Turning his attention back to you, he used that same hand to cup your face, thumb running across your lips before he leaned close. Lips pressing against yours as he kissed you deeply. Not in a needy way like he normally would, but in a way that told you how his very soul felt.

Of course, part of him didn't want to go to this battle. To say fuck it and turn around with you, to live his life as norally as he could with you by his side.

But this was something he had to do. Something to help calm the demons inside him. To prove to his father that he was something.

Breaking from your lips, he offered a soft smile. A smile that you got to see before he let go of you and turned around. Taking heavy steps from your figure, he could feel his heart break with every desperate word you were shouting.

Begging him to come back. Begging him to stay by your side. Begging him to let go of everything, if he truly loved you, he would. Begging him to help you raise the one person that was half you and half him, you couldn't do it on your own.

He took one last look at you before disappearing into the curtain of his flames. To his fate that awaited him. He could tell by the scream you'd let tear from your throat that you'd heard his final words before he walked away from you.

"I've always loved you, doll, but it's too late for me now".

© springismss 2025 - don’t repost, copy, translate, steal or modify.

[lostbookmark]

MNDI 🔞

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Summary: After the death of your brother and his wife. You find yourself adjusting to a new role in your life. A single parent to your teenage nephew. How do you help him heal? How do you help yourself heal? You're not sure. You don't think you can, until an annoying basketball coach enters your life and turns everything around.

Pairing: Basketball Coach Yoongi x Single Aunt F. Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Strangers to Lovers,

Warnings: Death Of Parents / Brother/ Family, Car Accident (Cause), Swearing, Explicit Sex, Arguments, Physical Fighting, Past Abusive Relationship, Talks Of Domestic Violence, mention of sex work

A/N: Surprise, I figured out chapter 14, so here you guys go!! Chapter 14 might be late due to my “vacation” and losing some days to fully work on it, but I'm feeling good about it.

Elly held your hand tightly as the clock on the scoreboard quickly ran down. The score was close. Too close. 45-42 Bangtan Ravens were only up by three points, and Yoongi looked stressed down on the court. He and Jungkook were yelling…..well, you don't know what they were yelling, but they were yelling and pointing everywhere as the boys ran all over. Time outs were being called, and players were being switched out. Frustration even showed on the young player's faces. It was all intense and you didn't like it.

Your eyes go back to the clock, and your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest as it finally hits the single digits. 9….8…Nicky has the ball, but you don't think he was anywhere close to their side of the court, and you don't see any open players for him to pass the ball to. 7…6… He finally breaks free and makes a run for the opposite of the gym. 5….4…3… jumping, he shoots…2…1….. The ball hit the rim of the basket, effectively bouncing off.

He misses.

The buzzer sounds throughout the gymnasium.

Bangtan Ravens wins 45 - 42

6-0 undefeated.

As your side of the gym cheers and the confetti gets thrown in the air, you watch as your nephew hangs his head in defeat. Your heart breaks as you watch his teammates celebrate their win, but he looks like he let them down. Coach Jeon gives his shoulder a little shake and says something in his ear, to which he nods his head.

“That was close,” your mom says, looking up at you from one bench lower like always. “You need to give him a pep talk.”

“But they won,” you say. “I don't know why he's upset.”

“They didn't win by much, and that's the problem,” Chris says, leaning over his fiancée to look at you.

“But they still won,” you say again.

“Doesn't matter,” your mom, dad, and brother all say.

“They almost lost, and that's what he's going to focus on,” your dad explains.

You and Elly look at one another, and she gives you a tight smile. You don't think she understands either.

Fuck this sport!

Maybe you can talk him into joining the choir or maybe some dance class.

Maybe he will be good at tap.

“Food's here,” Yoongi says, bringing in a couple of paper bags into the kitchen and setting them on the counter.

“Did you grab the cash on the table for the tip?” You ask, grabbing three plates out of the cupboards.

“Mmhmm,” Yoongi confirms and buries his face into your neck, pressing his lips into the smooth skin. “If you're lucky, I might have a tip for you too.”

Cackling, you pull away from, only to grab the front of his sweatshirt to pull him to you.

“Was that a sex joke?” You question, laughing. You watch his face turn pink before hiding it in your neck once again. “Don't hide. I've been waiting for this moment.”

“You act like I never touch you,” he says, pulling away from your warmth.

“Touch me, yes. Your fingers are quite magical,” you say and look over his shoulder. “But you've only fucked me twice.”

“I told you…” he starts.

“And I told you,” you say, cutting him off. “He sleeps like a rock. That kid does not wake up. Unless you're more worried about you making too much noise. I believe it was you that was a Chatty Cathy last time.” He scoffs and crosses his arms. “It's fine. I know my skill set is pretty high. It's fine if you can't keep up.”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, grabbing you and lightly digging his fingers into your sides, causing you to screech in laughter. Dropping onto your knees down onto the kitchen floor, he follows after you, hovering over your back, not letting up. You were so focused on trying not to pee your pants that you don't see Nicky in the entryway of the kitchen until he clears his throat. Both you and Yoongi freeze and look up at the teenager who doesn't seem amused as he stares at the two of you acting like fools on the floor.

“Hey,” you say, scrambling to get off the floor and clearing your own throat. “The food is here. I'm sure you're hungry, right?”

“Is everything okay,” Yoongi asks, looking at your nephew, who was still silent and watching the two of you.

“I let you down,” he says, and a look of confusion crosses Yoongi's features at his words.

“What do you mean?” He questions. “You didn't let me down.”

“I should have played harder,” Nicky tells him. “I did. I let you down today, and the whole team probably knows it.”

“Let's go outside and talk,” Yoongi suggests. Nicky nods and walks out the kitchen door as your boyfriend turns to you. “I got him. Just give us a couple of minutes.”

You nod your head and watch him leave the house, shutting the door as he goes. Biting your lip, you tap your foot and quickly make your way to the small laundry room at the back of the house. Ducking down, you make your way over to the window and quietly as possible. You crack open the window. Peeking over the edge, you watch as they sit on an old wooden bench you had found at a garage sale when you first moved in.

“What's going on?” Yoongi asks from where he sat next to Nicky.

“I missed that last shot,” he confesses, with a bouncing leg. “I thought for sure that I could make it, and I didn't. I wasn't good enough. I was right there, and I missed it.”

“You're not going to hit every shot,” Yoongi tells him, making the young boy hang his head with disappointment. “But that doesn't mean you're not good enough. Why do you think Coach Jeon and I tell you the plays first?” Nicky shrugs, still looking at the ground. “Because your teammates listen to you. They trust you to communicate with them out there. We trust you to make the right decisions out there when things aren't going our way.”

“I should have found someone open,” he says. “I hogged the ball. You taught us to run and pass, but I held on to it. I thought too highly of myself. Look at what happened.”

“There wasn't anyone open,” Yoongi says, trying to appease him. “We underestimated this team, and that was my fault. I didn't do the correct research, and we went in there blind. You got yourself out of that corner and ran with the ball just like you're supposed to do. You did nothing wrong today.”

“But I disappointed you,” he argues. “I know I did. I shouldn't have missed that last shot.”

“The only way that you would have disappointed me would have been if you gave up,” Yoongi says, placing his hand on Nicky's shoulder. “You didn't give up. You and the team fought until the end and won.”

“Only by three points,” he says and wipes at his face with his sleeve. “And they were ahead a couple of times.”

“And…. you guys will run extra for that in practice on Monday for that,” Yoongi jokes. “You won, and I'm proud of you for that. Even if we didn't win, I would still be proud of you.”

“Really?” He asks.

“Really,” Yoongi confirms. “How about we go back in? I'm starving, and I know you're probably starving.”

Your eyes widen and shut the window, but unfortunately, you slam the window shut on the tip of your finger, causing you to silently curse as you run back into the kitchen. Shaking your hand, you quickly plate some food rather sloppily onto the plates, trying to act natural as they come back into the house.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, acting innocent as you try to hide your throbbing finger.

“Yeah, I'll be back,” Nicky says, walking past you.

Yoongi leans against the counter with his arms crossed against his chest, staring at you. You look at him, and he has a small smile playing across his lips.

“How's your finger?” He asks.

“My finger?” You reply.

“The one you shut in the window when you were spying?” He asks.

“I…” he raises an eyebrow, daring you to continue your lie. “Oh, sue me. I wanted to know what was going on.”

“Did you not trust me?” He asks.

“I do trust you,” you tell him.

“Then trust me to tell you if there is anything you need to know,” he says.

“Why couldn't he talk to me?” You question shaking your hand again, trying to ease the throbbing pain. “He knows that he can always come to me when he needs something. He always has.”

“Would you have known what to say?” He asks, taking your hand in his to look at your red finger. You open your mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. “I want him to be comfortable to come to me if he needs to talk. Even if it's just about basketball. I'm not trying to take that away from you.”

“Fine, I won't spy on your conversations with him anymore,” you concede, taking your hand back.

“Thank you,” he says, with a smirk and you roll your eyes in return.

“Yeah, yeah, you win this one,” you tell him.

“Can you repeat that?” He asks, leaning closer. “Did you just say that I won an argument?”

“Don't get cocky,” you warn.

“You've admitted to liking me, trusting me AND… I won an argument. Oh, I'm going to be cocky,” he says, taking all three plates to the table.

Crossing your arms you watch him go with a shake of your head.

You've created a monster.

“Touch the line,” Yoongi yells as the boys run across the court touching the lines. “We won by three points! THREE POINTS! That is nothing to brag about. It should have fifteen…. ten, but three? THREE!”

The boys were tired, huffing and puffing as they stood against the wall trying to catch their breath. Coach Jeon blows his whistle as they all take off touching each line before running back to the wall before running forward again to touch the next line and so on. They looked miserable. You felt miserable watching them.

“I think that was pure luck,” Yoongi continues. “They weren’t tired. They could have played a whole other game while you all looked ready to collapse. Huffing and puffing out of breath like you have never run around a court before.”

“SIX LAPS!” Coach Jeon shouts, with a whistle blow. “We've been taking it too easy on you. Our main focus will be stamina….”

“This is awful,” you whisper to Mark.

“The Y has an indoor track, right?” You ask, and he nods. “Maybe I should get Nicky a membership, and he can run on Sundays and in the off-season.”

“They're not wrong, though,” he says. “That team had some new players that we weren't anticipating. They were quick, and our boys tired out too soon.”

"Anticipating?" You question. "Am I supposed to be keeping track of other teams?"

"Some of us do," his answer makes you slouch a bit.

“Yeah, maybe Jun can join him,” Mark says.

“My son would love to do it too,” chicken parm mom says, poking her head between you and Mark. “I'll set up a group chat.”

You give her a small smile and look away awkwardly. Over your shoulder, you see Ara sitting with a couple of other moms. Sighing, you wipe your hands on your jeans and make your way over to her. As you stand in front of her, she gives you a look of disgust.

“Look, clearly, we will never be friends but….,” you start.

“Oh, so you do have a couple of brain cells,” she sneers.

“I'm trying to apologize. You don't need to take cheap shots at me,” you say, trying to keep your cool. “I shouldn't have repeated what your husband said.”

“And I'm not going to feel bad for you just because everyone else does,” she snaps.

“Ara,” her friend hisses, knocking her knee with her own.

“I don't need you to feel bad for me,” you tell her. "I'm just trying to .... I don't know.... ease the tension."

“Is something wrong, ladies?” Yoongi asks, coming up to stand on the steps next to you.

“I tried,” you say, shaking your head. “I really tried.”

“I don't need your fake apologies,” Ara snaps. “So you can take your ass back wherever you came from.”

“Three practice suspension, Ara,” Yoongi says, staring at her with a serious expression.

“Excuse me,” she screeches, standing up from her seat. “Suspension?”

“You heard me,” he said, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

“For what?” She asks, her fiery gaze focused on burning a hole through his head.

“We don't swear here,” he reminds her, remaining the complete professional that he is. "I believe you know this rule."

“You let her off the hook,” she accuses him.

“Because you goaded her into that situation,” he explains. “I do believe this one is all you. Y/N, here was just apologizing to you.”

“You cannot suspend me,” she argues. “After all I have done for you and this team, you can not suspend me.”

“Yes, I can,” he argues back. “Now you can leave now and for the next three practices, or I can just… ban you if you want to cause a scene. You signed the exact same contract that everyone else did. You are not above anyone else.”

Ara scoffs and looks at her friends, who seem to find their phones a little more interesting at the moment. Grabbing her bag, she walks down the stairs and out the gym doors. Yoongi doesn't say anything to you as he walks back down the bleachers to the court. You, yourself, turn to go back and sit next to Mark, who looked thoroughly amused.

“I think our queen bee's reign of terror might finally be coming to an end,” he comments.

“That wasn't my intention,” you say. “I was really trying to apologize.”

“Yeah, but I still thank you,” he jokes. “On the other hand….”

“She might open hell fire on us?” You ask and he nods.

Two whistles blow causing you to jump.

“Get back on the wall,” Yoongi instructs. “I better see fingers touching the lines. I can do this all week!”

This was going to be a long practice, and you probably just made things worse!

Settling into your bed, you flip through your channels on the tv hanging on your wall. Nicky fell out hours ago. Your normal human garbage disposal barely even touched his food at dinner. His eyes fought to stay open the entire time he sat at the table. You understood that this was a part of the whole playing sports thing, but that didn't mean you had to like it. You thought it was too much just for a damn trophy, a stupid shiny piece of metal.

Snuggling deep down into your blankets, you wrap your arms around your pillow. As you start to focus on the random movie on the tv. Your heart stops at the ringing of the doorbell. Looking at your clock, the red glaring numbers read ten thirty stared back at you. Sitting up, you reach for your phone, only to swear when you remember that you left it charging in the kitchen on the counter when you were cleaning.

“Fuck,” you curse yourself.

SItting up, you wait and hear the doorbell again. Jumping out of bed, you run to your closet, grabbing your brother's old hockey stick and march to the front door. Keeping the lights off, you unlock the door and throw it open. You raise the hockey stick over your shoulder, ready to strike, should you have to.

“WHOA, WHOA,” Yoong says as the street light illuminates your figure. “It's me, it's me.”

“What the fuck, Yoongi,” you say, dropping the stick off your shoulder but keeping it in your hand as you hit the lightswitch on the wall. “Do you know what time it is?”

Oh my god!

When did you turn into your mom?

“I tried calling you?” He explains.

“I didn't have my phone on me,” you tell him. “I would have hit you with this.”

“I didn't think you were going to come to the door armed,” he jokes with a light laugh.

“It's late, and I have a kid to protect,” you say seriously. “Who the hell rings a doorbell this late at night?”

“I'm sorry,” he says quickly. “I got some exciting exciting news and I couldn't wait to tell you. I came over since you weren't answering your phone.”

“Exciting news?” You ask, waving him inside and shutting the door. “Is the Loch Ness Monster officially gone?”

“No,” he says. “Jungkook had dinner tonight with one of his friends and found out something amazing.”

Pause.

He looks at you expectantly, and you shrug.

“Good for him,” you say.

“His friend has ties to some sports agents,” Yoongi informs you. “Years ago, there used to be this basketball camp that only invited kids could go to. Like the best of the best, could go to.”

“And,” you say, willing him to hurry this up.

“They closed it years ago, but we found out…. they are going to open it again,” he tells you smiling.

“I think you're too old for it,” you say, and he rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Listen, my nice warm bed is getting cold.”

“Obviously, it's for Nicky,” he replies, ignoring your last comment. “It wouldn't be for a couple of years because he has to be fifteen to participate, but this is huge news.”

“Hold on,” you say, spinning the hockey stick. “You come over here at ten thirty at night. Scaring the shit out of me to tell me about some camp that Nicky can't even get into yet?”

“I understand,” he says. “But this is big, and we need to get him on a good training schedule now so he can be ready.”

“For what?” You ask, confused. “You don't get to decide that he's doing this.”

“Don't take this opportunity away from him just because you hate basketball,” he argues.

“And don't try to live out your dream through him,” you snap. Yoongi gives you a strained smile before heading back toward the door. “Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please. Come back.”

“It's been a long day for all of us,” he says, “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“No,” you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the couch, making him sit down. “I'm sorry. I'll listen.”

“Boy's would kill for this opportunity,” he explains. “With the right training, Nicky could get that opportunity. It could open so many doors for him in the future with the things he could learn there. Things that I can't teach him.”

“It sounds expensive,” you say, and he looks guiltily at you. “Great! How much are feet pictures going for nowadays? Am I too old for the strip club?”

“Absolutely not,” he says, pulling you into his lap. “Clearly, I will help you with the money. I know your parents will help.”

“No,” you shake your head. “I got what…. two years to save up? I'll get it figured out.”

“I didn't think that far ahead,” he admits. “I got too excited at the news of them reopening.”

“It's really that big of a deal?” You question, making him nod in answer. “You're willing to work with him?”

“Of course I am,” he responds. “I'm not going to let him waste his talent.”

“God, Nick would have loved you,” you sigh, making Yoongi scrunch his face in confusion. “Nicky's dad. Nicky is Nicolas Jr.”

“Oh,” he says softly.

Getting off his lap, you go to your tv stand and open a door that hid a box of pictures where you kept away from your nephew. Sitting down next to him, you open the lid to the show box and scrounge around for a minute before handing him a four by six inch glossy picture.

“This is his dad?” He asks and you nod. “Man…”

“They look alike, huh?” You comment. “That was his senior year championship game in highschool. That would have been about a year before Nicky would be born.” Fingering through the messy memories, you grab one near the bottom of the brown box and hand it to him. “His mom Sarah.”

“I can see him in her too,” he comments as he studies the picture.

“She is… was,” you swallow and wipe your eyes. “She was the perfect basketball mom. You would have loved her. She would have organized your team schedule for you and had homemade snacks for the boys after practice.” You laugh lightly to yourself and look at their pictures. “But now you're stuck with me. All I do is fuck everything up even when I'm not trying to. He shouldn't be here with me. I'm going to mess his future up.”

Cover your face with one of your hands, you try to hide away as that constant lump in your throat finally loosens as you hiccup. Yoongi immediately has you back in his lap, tucking your chin over his shoulder as his hands run over your back.

“That's not true,” he says.

“Yes, it is,” you cry, pulling back to look at him. “He should have gone with my parents. I'm too fucked up for this shit. I'm too selfish for this.”

“Don't say that,” he chides.

“You don't even know the half of it,” you say through your tears. “You don't really even know me.”

“Then tell me,” he demands. “Stop hiding from me.”

“No!” You sob.

“Why?” He asks loudly.

“Because you won't want me if I do,” you cry.

“Sunshine, why are you crying,” Nicky asks, coming into the room before turning an angry glare to his basketball coach. “What did you do to her?”

“Nicks, stop,” you say, wiping your face quickly as you jump off of your boyfriend and walk up to your nephew. “He didn't do anything.”

“She's just upset,” Yoongi says, gently standing from the couch. “Everything is okay.”

“Why are those pictures out,” the teen says, marching over to the shoe box. Bending, he picks up the two pictures of his parents that lay on the coffee table. “I said that I didn't want their pictures out. I'm not ready for that yet!”

“I'm sorry,” you say. “I'll put them away.”

“It was my fault,” Yoongi steps in, lying for you. “I was asking questions.”

“Well, it's none of your business,” Nicky snaps. “I told you all you needed to know!”

“Nicky, stop it!” You demand.

“I understand…” Yoongi tries calming the young teen down, but he isn't having any of it.

“You don't understand shit,” he barks. “You're just trying to be nice to sleep with her! Stop trying to push yourself into our lives.”

“You watch your mouth,” you snap.

The two of you stand toe to toe. He's grown these past few months. You used to have a couple of inches on him, but now he's looking you dead in the eye. It wouldn't be long before he surpasses you. The hardness in his eyes that you have never seen before suddenly disappears as he crumbles into your body, taking you down onto the floor.

“Why did they have to leave me?” He cries into your chest.

You tightly wrap your arms around the boy, your body attempting to rock him back and forth like you would when he was a baby. Back when his mom would swaddle him in your arms, and you sang him to sleep. Back when everything was perfect and everyone was happy. Back when you were still innocent and thought the world was a safe place.

He was so big now.

His body, wrecked in sobs, could barely fit in your arms.

“They loved you so much,” you tell him, tilting his head up to look at you. “They would never willingly leave you. I know they would have given anything to be here with you.”

“I m.m..iss them so much,” he confesses with a stuttered whisper. “It's not fair. It is not fair that all of my friends get to have parents and I don't.”

“I know. I miss them too,” you whisper back through your own tears, cradling him as close as you could get. “Everyday.”

Turning back into your warmth, he cries. He cries for his parents and for the loss of his childhood. He cries for the sadness, the love, the anger, and all the other overwhelming emotions he feels. You stay quiet. You stay completely quiet and let him get it all out.

You're not sure how long you held him for, but just as your arms were getting tired Nicky shifts. Clutching the pictures to his chest, he stands from the ground and walks in front of Yoongi, looking a little embarrassed and much more calm.

“I’m sorry, coach,” he says, sniffing and red-faced. “I didn't mean what I said.”

“It's okay,” Yoongi promises and pats his shoulder softly. “We all say things we don't mean sometimes. I'm not mad. I promise.”

Taking you by surprise and more so Yoongi by surprise, Nicky launches himself at the blonde basketball coach and wraps his arms around him. You watch stunned as Yoongi hesitates for a moment before embracing your nephew. Pushing yourself off the floor, you approach the two of them with the intention of pulling Nicky away from Yoongi, but Yoongi stops you. Instead, he opens an arm for you, offering space for you to join them.

Entering the embrace, you press a kiss to your nephew’s head, making him turn to look at you. You run your thumbs over the tear tracks on his cheeks as he closes his eyes once more. You wish you could do more. This was all above you. He needed help that you couldn't give him.

“We need to get you back in bed,” you say softly. “I'll call you off school tomorrow if you want. We can take the day off together.”

“I need to go to practice,” he replies.

“I think you gave me a doctor's note,” Yoongi says. “You were too sick to go to school.”

Nicky nods his head, and you pull him away from Yoongi to guide him back to his room. As he climbs back in his bed, you pick up the scattered clothes that littered his bedroom floor. Throwing them in his dirty clothes basket, you take the pictures of his parents from his hands and place them on his nightstand.

“I'm sorry,” he breathes.

“You don't need to be sorry,” you say, pulling the covers up over his lap.

“Dad would have been pissed that I talked to coach like that,” he said.

“Watch it,” you say lightly. “You're very lucky that Yoongi is understanding and forgiving. Now, go back to sleep, and we can talk some more in the morning.”

You get up from the bed and head for the door, but his voice stops you, making you turn once more.

“I think he would have been proud too,” Nicky says. “Dad always worried about you, I think. He said it was his job to take care of you. Now that he's not here. It's my job.”

Fuck! This kid is going to kill you!

“It's your job to be a kid,” you disagree. “Now, go to sleep.”

Stepping out of his room, you close the door behind you. Taking a deep breath, you head for the living room once more, and you find Yoongi still standing in the same place where you left him. Stopping in front of him, you watch as he studies you for a moment. You don't blame him. You wouldn't know how to react either. Rising to your tiptoes, you throw your arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in tight to him.

“What do you need from me?” He asks. “I'm afraid to do the wrong thing right now.”

“Stay,” you mumble into the flesh of his neck. “I don't want to be alone tonight.”

“As you wish,” he whispers against your hair.

Turning your head, you lie it flat on his shoulder. Your eyes go to the mess of pictures on your table. You can't actually make any of them out, but you know what ones are over there by heart. Childhood pictures, Christmas mornings with your brothers in front of the tree, Halloween costumes, and everything in between. Closing your eyes, tears escape, rolling down your face, dripping off the tip of your nose, and onto his sweatshirt.

You were so tired.

Your heart ached horribly.

You missed your brother.

Your best friend.

Your confidant.

“Will it ever get better?” You ask him, your eyes still closed. “Will it ever not hurt?”

“I don't know,” he replies, honestly. “I can't make it stop hurting. I wish I could, but I can't.”

“I'm trying,” you say as you pull away from him. “I know you don't see it but..I'm trying.” He gives you a look of confusion as he tries to interpret your words. “I'm trying to figure out how to not hide from you.”

“Don't worry about that right now,” he says. “Whatever it is. Whenever you're willing to talk to me about it. You know where to find me, okay?”

You nod.

He's right.

You do know where to find him.

Usually… it's right by your side.

《Chapter 14》

A/N: So, in my original cut of this. Nicky got a little physical with both of them, and then I cut it. That's not him. Grief does strange things to people, but I don't think he would hurt her.

Tagged Readers:

@busanbby-jjk , @meelismee @jajabro , @wicked-game-black-butler

@wobblewobble882, @damn-u-min-yoongi @mintedagustd , @Granataepfelchen

@yoongiiuu93, @jimeg629 @jincapableoflove , @minghaosimp

@redragdoll, @ot72025, @seoullove96 , @our-cool-jenny

@kam9404 , @momma1 @amarawayne, @militrybarbi

@haileyborig, @bettytta, @ilikekpop-c @mar-lo-pap , @lattejimin,@butterymin

@thelilbutifulthings , @cannotalwaysbenight @notsooperfect

@muchwita , @maryhopemei, @rinkud, @misfits1a, @ktownshizzle

[vsa-pieldepapel]

ralsusie became real and kinda popular in the fandom and i IMMEDIATELY thought of you. also your susie hadcanons... you're predicting it all....

so what are your thoughts on their dynamic in the new chapter? and on susie's character development overall?

oh it's a fucking party in my house rn you have no idea. i have so many things to say about them that i don't believe its possible to make all of them coherent in a single post but i'll vomit some of it Before that tho i must say i am surprised at how many people thought of me w these new developmetns lol. mostly because the internet is so fast paced i thought no one would remember. thank you though.

i remember saying somewhere that I was convinced ralsei observing susie's independence and force of will would plant a seed in his head for him to strive for freedom and agency, and I'm surprised how dead on that was. Guts is widely accepted to be the stat for how much a character is willing to stand against the control of the player, which ralsei has Zero of in all chapters, but fascinatingly, even though he goes back to zero in ch4, at the tail end of ch3 before i fought the roaring knight i checked the power screen and ralsei had a single Guts point. this was immediately after susie consoled Tenna and told him, "did you hear that, Ralsei?" so i am convinced that single moment of guts was brought forth by her, by the lessons he learns from her character.

I had rather low expectations going into the new chapters because I really still wasnt convinced if Toby was self aware on how he was writing the holiday family, susie and noelle, and ralsusie, or if that was all serendipitous. The new chapters make me believe more strongly that he is aware and its not all coincidental. theres a lot here and i would have to make an entire separate post about it but I was incredibly pleasantly surprised by how many poignant, emotionally resonant moments happened between susie and ralsei building on how much they push each other to be better, and how it's emphasised that they're influencing the other. I was incredibly shocked in a good way that they had an actual argument, but Susie didn't resort to all the coping mechanisms we see her use with Lancer. Ralsei has proven now that he will be there by her side and she has decided to believe in that rather than keeping in mind that she could be abandoned at any turn, and I thought them being able to genuinely talk it out and MAKE it through an argument was an excellent indicator of how powerful their relationship is (and I do mean this all even if it's just friendship stuff for now, because the healthiest couples, anyway, are those where your partner is also your friend). I remember being skeptical way back when of people who made susie sporty and confident, because she struck me as feeling ugly, insecure, and not really that successful in that regard either, and I'm glad I was right. Her monologues about feeling unwanted and broken which feels very much the result of unstable circumstances like moving constantly, where there is no consistency to any one situation, and neglectful or abusive parenting were very resonant. Curiously though my fave part of all these new developments about susie are when it pertains to how she connects to the lore of the prophecy, which is another separate post. Basically, I love how susie is a "wild card", but that necessitates a LOT of elaboration. I like that her stubbornness and her will to fight are displayed for both when they're good and worth it and when they're dysfunctional. I also found the exploration of how an individuals psyche shapes a dark world fascinating.

The bloody handprint lives fucking rent free in my head. Again, I need to make a MASSIVE post to connect a lot of dots here idk how to do it. But I am very, very excited. Maybe it would be easier to organise everything if I was prompted to talk about specific things. I could make a pepe silvia style video about it atp rofl

[bewitched-hours]

Aherm. Just found this wondrous account. And I'm in love (I say cartoonishly dropping to one knee ring in hand/p)

MAY I BE 🪽 ANON???

And secondly... Hear me out on ex two time bsf + azure friend reader who had the fattest one sided crush on them during the gang's early days (+ if it started when timey and them were kiddos and they henceforth have known timey for a LONGGGG time) and was a part of the cult before they ran away after two time sacrificed azure and they meet again as reader becomes a new survivor.

Make it as angsty or as fluffy as you want,,, I leave how it goes into your creative hands despite the prompt being more angst leaning ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

Also,,, oneshot please and thank you !!! (Hcs are fine if that's what you're most comfy w lol)

Afraid your emoji didn't work so I guess you're now Block Anon- (/j) Anyways, it's a pretty cool concept so I'll have fun writing it, no doubt! I wasn't entirely sure about wether you wanted Azuretime or not but I kinda hope you did for this (ﾟヮﾟ)

For this, Reader's pronouns will be She/Her!

You were never brave enough.

It used to be a childhood crush that you never dared to voice. Your mother taught you to be sweet, soft and gentle. She wanted you to be ladylike and thought when you made friends with Azure and Two Time that you would make her proud one day by getting your chaotic energy out early and growing into a 'proper lady'.

All that to say, she failed. The two only made your chaotic energy worse and she HATED it. Not like you'd care though, she might've tried to be a mom but you saw Azure and Two Time as better 'family', in a way.

And that childhood crush only worsened as time went on, though you were scared to break the bond you three had and ultimately watched as they got together when you were all in a cult to worship the Spawn.

You were obviously supportive, not wanting to get between them and figuring you could talk to them about it at some point.

... So you thought... Until you found out Two Time had sacrificed Azure for a second life and the shock and horror of the situation made you run for the hills. You managed to escape the cult and had hoped to never see Two Time again whilst grieving for Azure, blaming yourself.

Maybe you could've done something? Maybe you should've kept a closer eye on them and warned Azure of anything odd?

You made sure to visit his grave a lot. And you always had something to decorate it with. Things you remembered he liked.

But the guilt kept eating at you, especially since you never told anyone what you saw that day. You never told anyone it was because of one of your childhood best friends that the other died...

Why? Was it some form of affection still left for them? Maybe a feeling of loyalty?

Even your therapist was unaware, only being told it was someone who was close to you at the time but you refused to speak their name.

It was like their name was laced with a poison so strong you'd die for even saying it...

So it was obviously a strange and less than welcome surprise when you suddenly found yourself in this hellish realm back with the murderer.

You were noticeably passive aggressive towards them, even if they got their second life and you were a healer among the group.

You resented them for what they did. And part of you even wished you had listened to your mother when she had tried to get you to not join the cult back then.

But what was better? Being traumatized by your best friend and building yourself a more free life from the ground up or being traumatized by your mother into basically acting like a 1950's housewife only to be handed off to the first man who shows interest in you?

Either way, Two Time tried to mend things... In their own way...

And it at least got you to be more neutral towards them! That was already a good start!

But imagine the shock when you suddenly stood in front of Azure and didn't even realize it.

You first thought it was just similarities and that your mind was simply being delusional but he recognized you again... And he did go gentle with you.

At first it was just you being spared until the very end, all whilst talking with him about how your life had been after... Well- you know-

He was actually glad when he heard all the things you'd bring to his grave. It made you both a little emotional and he had to shut up his hat more than once to let you talk.

But a certain sentinel was just a little jealous.

They didn't understand why at first but even so, they were desperately trying to mend things which all led to you getting stuck between your own best friends once more.

Just that this time, you were in the middle except of on the side. A position you'd think impossible growing up.

It was already a dream to think about one person interested in you but two? If only you knew how lucky you had gotten... In a way-

It even came to a point where you'd team up with Two Time more regularly and have your meetups with Azure when you weren't chosen for a round.

Both would try to act neutral whenever you brought the other up in a sad attempt to have them reconcile. Instead, they got jealous over each other.

And this round would be where the truth was spilled.

As you moved to heal your teammates and Two Time was fighting off Azure for them, you caught glimpses of them actually somewhat talking before attacking each other... Odd...

Eventually, you and Two Time were the last two standing and as you anxiously waited for the cooldown on your healing ability, you noticed you were being grabbed by the arms by a tentacle and... Two Time's tail...

Although confused, you had little time to ask questions before they almost perfectly synced up to ask you which of them you liked more...

eh?? EH????

It was only about 30 seconds left and they were asking you to choose between them?! WHAT-

You quickly panicked, only able to blurt out "Both!" before you were back at the survivor cabin with a face as red as a tomato and the other survivors staring at you in pure shock. Except Two Time, who seemed oddly happy with your answer.

You were quick to just grab them though and rush to the meetup spot where you'd find Azure. This would be when you could finally explain, surely!

Although your heart was nearly threatening to break your ribcage, you knew not to let this linger anymore. You didn't want history to repeat itself in cruel irony.

Azure was already there, chuckling but demanding answers for what you meant.

Inhaling sharply, you decided to explain as quickly as possible. "I had a silly childhood crush on you both that never really died and I was scared of losing my two closest friends and it somehow returned and I feel stupid an-" You shortly had a tentacle covering your mouth to get you you calm down. It smelled like flowers, oddly enough...

All the while, Two Time and Azure couldn't help but giggle, getting you even more embarrassed and soon flustered as they came to your sides for a quick hug before the tentacle moved back away for them to take turns stealing a kiss from you... Oh boy, you were definitely red now...

Seems they weren't so against the idea of a polycule...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[pushspacetocontinue]

"That's a way to see it I guess," Travis said, with a laugh, "I guess we do kind of carbonate ourselves by shaking ourselves up when you really think about it that way."

Russell was trying not to. But he supposed that it was a good point from the view of a blood drinker.

"So you told them to screw themselves so you could be yourselves and be together as family," Simon said, "I have to admire that, you know. It was probably hard, but it's sounded like it was worth it for all of you. Perhaps more than. Thank you. As callous as this might sound, our Ma was the biggest barrier for us to reconnect and now that she's gone..."

"Now that the nasty old hag is dead, we can hang out again," Travis said with a grin, as he then bashed up a few more things, "Heh, this is fun. It's like a rage room but we're doing something productive along with breaking stuff."

"Nice, not often I get to drive super fancy," Travis said, pocketing them for the moment, "Hopefully we can get that paperwork forged, give it a new paint job, new plates, that sort of thing, and it'll be fully ours. Hey, great idea, Erica, and hey, maybe it's still here. We could find it and drag it out with us."

Russell stopped for the moment and gave Lucien a little smile once more.

"I, I think, I think I, I feel a, a little better, do, do you?" Russell then asked. He still didn't up to talking much, but he wanted to make sure Lucien was doing all right.

"That's a great idea as well," Travis said, "I think I know where I'd know where to find a mannequin easily."

Bill really wished he could find some way to take that pain and exhaustion inside of Rook and somehow banish it, even if it meant taking it into himself. But that wasn't possible, so he just had to offer his support in another way.

"Well, you certainly haven't so far, despite what the asshole you call a birth dad might have said to you," Bill said, "But I do know that old mindsets die hard, and I can't fault you for that."

But Bill then returned the hug, gently resting his chin on the top of Rook's head for the time being.

"Well, now that you're with us, I'm going to make sure you hear it more often, from as many people as possible, because it's the truth."

Bill slowly let go then, and gave Rook a nod.

"My shadows will be holding onto you, even if I can't get too close myself," Bill said, as he allowed Rook to move., "And then we'll get going again as soon as you're ready."

It seemed that they had all come to the silent agreement that Frosty needed to be treated with just a bit more decorum. There was something more complicated about all of this, and not just physically, with the beating he had taken and whatever Five had put into his system.

Leofric nodded in some approval.

"You may use whatever you need to use, and I have found that combining our ingredients and methods has been beneficial, I don't see why it could not be done on this occasion."

Antonio stopped as soon as Frosty had gone back to sleep. Leofric moved so that he could carry Frosty as gently as he could without waking him up. As much as Antonio had told Frosty to sleep 'for as long as you need to', Leofric still felt the need to be careful and potentially cause any further injury or discomfort.

"Feel free to look through my grimoires as you need to as well," Leofric added, keeping his voice quiet.

"I think they're about finishing up in there from the sounds of it," Antonio said, an ear twitching as he peered back towards the inside, "So I don't think we'll be waiting all that long. I believe we've done rather well today, especially the little sisters."

"Cyclists are fizzy drinks." That made a lot of sense, actually. The information was dutifully filed away and gave Erica something else to think about while they continued with their looting. Catching a speeding cyclist would be a nice challenge.

That could be one way to test another one of her new tricks...

"Carthage didn't want us to be anything like what we are now. So you're both correct." Willow replied, "And I'm glad you were able to break away from that situation as I am that my own brothers were able to upgrade from being fugitives and partners in crime to being a happy family."

"Willow's brothers are nice!" Erica chimed in, "They're also Rook's bosses over here but way older than ours."

That made her wonder whether there were more Russells, Travis and maybe Simons out there. Though she made sure to keep her thoughts to herself. The brothers had their fair share of the esoteric already.

"Yeah, we don't know where they have been." Erica agreed, before offering Travis the key, "I can't drive. You can have it."

While she could have done without the noise of glass shattering, it was music to Lucien's ears. Fragments of Five's attack still disturbed his dreams, but perhaps they would cease now.

Lucien nodded. "Yes. Although, this would be even better if we could get our hands on that chair he was seemingly so fond of."

Rook would have loved setting it on fire, at least.

Erica grinned, then reached to take one of the tactical masks. "I'll keep one for target practice. You know, I'll put it on a mannequin, maybe add a clown nose so it looks more like Five before I flushed him. Something like that."

Rook let out another sigh. She was exhausted more than in a physical way, but she had to speak her mind there.

"I guess it has to do with all the things I got told growing up. A part of me thinks there's really something wrong with me and that I'm going to screw up." And for that, she only had to thank Rick. "I know it's not true, but it's hard to shut up that kinda thing. I haven't been doing it for that long."

She was making an effort to think positive and listen to whoever insisted she was good enough. It just took a while to get used to and she was also trying to come to terms with some changes her magic had prompted.

Someday she would open up about why she resented her wings so much, but for now Rook was content simply stealing another quick hug. The fluff of her mantel muffled her voice.

"I'm not the best at showing it but it means a lot to hear that. I didn't get to hear this kind of thing a lot."

Almost not at all, all things considered. Her failed father had always been stingy with compliments.

Rook then let go. "Well, I better get to the arson now..."

Veronica was glad to see they seemed to agreed on how to best treat Frosty. More than anything, she was glad all talk about petty pranks had stopped when it became clear a couple of bandaids and an energy drink wouldn't be enough to send the young mage on his way. The ghost lady could think of many reasons why he wouldn't be welcome home and too many of them could be the consequence of Five's direct interference.

In any case, the spray bottle wasn't necessary anymore, thus was stored back in her bag.

"Five's abilities are almost entirely new to me as well. While this isn't as severe as what he has used on Lucien, I feel we may be able to solve this by adapting one of your recipes again."

If it ain't broke and such. Veronica watched Antonio at work now that she finally had the chance to do so. It was fascinating but being a literal wandering soul, she made sure not to get lost in that swirling abyss.

Frosty would have done so as well if he hadn't reacted too slowly. The truth was he hardly needed to be persuaded to go back to sleep. Though now he too hoped it wouldn't be as bad of a time as earlier.

Veronica carefully checked his pulse, then nodded approvingly. "Very well. Let's take him to Erika. He can safely rest in the pocket while we go have a nice night out in the city."

[millersbabe]

ˏˋ 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 ´ˎ˗

part one

♡ joel miller x f!reader angst + grumpy joel + some violence + swearing

The world ending was something nobody ever thought could be a possibility, until it did. You’d watch movies about it, read comics about it, but never expect to wake up on the other side of it. It turned you inside out, made you do things you never thought you’d do. Be someone you never wanted to be.

But to survive, there was no choice.

Your boots crunched along the snowy trail you were following, covering the smaller footprints ahead of yours. Keeping safe your only companion. She stomped her feet, careful of being swallowed by the ice beneath her. She was only small.

“Not far now,” you whispered, adjusting the beanie atop your head to cover your ears. The two of you were scouting the new town you’d come across, for any signs of loot. Any signs of life and you turned the other way. You weren’t here to deal with conflict.

You’d found a drugstore with large, rusted vans parked in front of it, the windows smashed and blockaded over. Graffiti adorned the once white walls, telling a story of how it had come to be this way. You glanced around for an entrance, your eyes catching a thin window near the ceiling of the building. Too risky, you had no idea what was inside, how far the drop was.

All for loot that wasn’t vital, but could be.

“Are we going inside?” The girl asked, looking up at you. You shook your head, taking her small hand in yours and leading her onwards.

“Just a little further and we’ll settle down before it gets dark,” you instructed, your breath taking form as you sighed heavily. Some days felt better than others, but for the most part you felt lost. Entirely lost. Floating along a vast nothingness, no anchor tying you to anywhere, slowing you down to keep you from dizzying.

But you had responsibility. A child to keep safe, keep warm and fed, a duty to a found family you’d long forgotten through nights of fighting, running, crying. The road ahead stretched for a while and you could see it winding off in the distance, leading up towards the mountains. An impossible feat for the two of you.

You walked for a long while, the girl occasionally opening up with questions. She was more talkative than you’d ever been, but she brought it out in you. It had been over a year of just a six-year-old’s company. You wished for some socialisation for her, for people her age to talk to and learn from. Instead she had a 32 year old who was trying her best and just falling short.

“I’m tired.” She cried, chin tucking into her chest with a wobbly lip.

“I know,” you huffed, “just a little longer, okay? See that cabin up there?” You pointed to the top of the hill at a small, wooden cabin. That was surprisingly not burnt down or vandalised in any way.

But the look on her face shot you in your heart. Her half-lidded eyes, the cold collecting on her cheeks and nose. How could you defy her? You made it up the hill, carrying her in your arms along with her backpack on your back, with your own, and a gun slung over your shoulder. Safe to say you’d exceeded your physical efforts for the day. It was this cabin, or death.

You knew she was asleep from the snoring in your ear and she’d gotten just a little heavier. But you still scouted the place, stepping over the traps by the doors, peering through the cracks in the windows, breaking open the door with your free arm. It was untouched? The inside was still run down, but not in total disarray. The dining table that was pushed against the wall had a radio, walkie talkie chargers, and some kind of log book?

Your curious mind was getting ahead of you, so you flicked through it after adjusting the girl in your arm. Names, dates, information about a trail and no issues. You had no clue of the current date, not even what day it was, so these could be old memories of a community. You crushed the small part of you that was hopeful for civilization.

You put the girl down onto the floor, unrolling your sleeping bags from your packs. You were still wary of having stepped into a potential stronghold. Not that it was any good. A horde could flatten that door down if there were enough, you did it with a sleeping child in your arms.

“You need to eat, okay?.” You spoke to the girl, who was rubbing her fists in her eye sockets. You’d rummaged for food already, finding a few energy bars to add to your collection.

You joined her on the floor, after pushing the table in front of the door and putting everything you could find into your backpack. “So, on the menu tonight we have…”

“Canned peaches,” you offered with one hand, “or,” you dug into your bag, “canned pineapple.”

The girl pointed to the peaches, a cheeky smile on her face knowing she chose your favourite one. Not that you minded at all, any happiness she got took away a chunk of the guilt you carried.

At only six, she’d lost her dad, lost her mum, travelled to a completely new place with a new person, in hopes of a society.

The two of you sat in silence, chewing on your desired fruits with your flashlight pointed at the ceiling. She looked around at the cabin, whilst you looked at her. Studied her for any sort of hurt, trauma, loneliness. You tried your best to shield her from it, but there were some things just not possible to hide. She never touched any of your weapons, she’d hide if there were infected or raiders around. But she could hear it all. And that scratched at your insides.

“We’re going up the mountain tomorrow.” You declared, staring down at your empty tin of fruit. The juice remaining at the bottom, which you’d quickly guzzled down. “See what we can see from the top. And if you’re lucky we can slide down it.”

Once the fruit was eaten, you’d turned off the flashlight and tucked it under your pillow, next to your gun. The girl laid close to you, with your coat and her blanket covering her up. She was sleepy eyed as she looked at you.

“You don’t leave this cabin, okay? There’s traps outside.” You instructed. “But I’ll be here, okay?”

She nodded, it didn’t help her much, but she felt safe around you at least. You made sure she was asleep first, before closing your own eyes. Arms folded, willing your mind to settle. Every night was the same, exhausted physically but your brain was haywire. You’d eventually pass out from your brain beating itself up with anxieties.

You didn’t dream anymore. Just small sequences of memories, from times you wished you were taken away from, but you’d give anything to go back now. You heard creaking wood, seeing the girl’s mum carrying the infant in her arms, the floorboards of the room you were in creaking.

The creaking slipped into thudding, the memory stolen away from you as your brain began to stir. You instinctively grabbed your gun upon realising the thudding was real, aiming it at the door. The table bounced towards you as the door slammed against it, your knuckles whitening at the grip on your gun.

The girl slept through it all. You were stood up, gun trained at the person who’d barged in, their own gun held out in front of them. It was a silent duel, until the man’s eyes glanced down at the girl stirring awake. Every ounce of security you had over her was shattered. You had thrown your own sleeping bag over her, hoping it would look like a pile of blankets and not a child beneath it.

You took the small window of opportunity, the man’s head turned away from you as you pushed into him, turning his gun upward and off the girl. You hit his nose with the butt of your own gun. But you were quickly handled by another man slamming into your side, knocking you onto the floor next to her.

You groaned, the act of breathing making you wince, nonetheless you crawled along the floor in front of her. “Please.” You begged. “Don’t touch her.”

“How’d you get in here?” The second man drawled, the first clutching his nose as it bled. Your breath was shallow, so overcome with Adrenaline that you didn’t think first.

“The door!” You exclaimed, hands up but still covering behind you. “I broke the door.”

“How’d you get past the traps?” He questioned again, fury still dropping from his tone.

“They were easy to spot, I’ve done this before.” You winced and clutched your side, definitely having broken a rib with that slam. “Please, we’re just trying to get by.”

The man was quiet. Looking from his partner back to you, then to the girl behind. Every glance towards her made your blood hot. You’d tear them limb from limb if they threatened her.

“Hell of a hit.” The first man grunted, his voice nasally and wet from the blood melting down his face. You still had your guard up, despite theirs loosening.

“Who are you people?” You asked, standing up and gathering your things quickly. The girl had slipped her coat back on, her hand clutching onto yours.

“I’m Tommy,” the second man offered, “this fella with the broken nose is Jesse. We’re from Jackson a few miles down the mountain.”

“Jackson?”

Tommy nodded. “Heard of it?”

You shook your head. Slinging your gun over your shoulder and pulling the girl closer to you. You had met many people in this new world, mostly bad, some bad pretending to be good. So you just go through life assuming everyone wants to kill or eat you. And it’s gotten you this far.

“We got resources, food, clothes, everythin’ ya need. Come on.” Tommy beckoned you both out, Jesse following with his hand still attached to his face.

You let out a sharp laugh. “Heard that one before. Why should we just follow you, hm?”

Jesse made no attempt to explain, he just climbed back onto his horse. You’d split the bridge of his nose, making for a pretty hefty hit.

“We’re good people, I promise ya. If you don’t want to stay, we’ll give ya a horse and some food to take off with.” Tommy reasoned. “There’s a life for you and the girl down here.”

It’s what you came for. It’s what you promised her mother when she died, when you’d taken on responsibility for her. It’s what this whole journey has been for. You looked down at the girl, her hopeful eyes looking back at you. Your cautious brain fought tooth and nail with your heart. Ultimately deciding with your heart.

“Okay.”

The girl climbed onto the back of Tommy’s horse, hands clinging to the material of his jacket. And you’d situated yourself on the back of Jesse’s, holding onto his coat with a much less firmer grip.

”Sorry ‘bout your nose.” You called out, over the sound of the galloping and the wind catching in your ears.

“You held your own, I’ll give you that.” He replied. No hard feelings, it seemed.

You glanced over at the girl behind Tommy, her frightened eyes taking in everything around her. She’d never been on a horse, she’d not seen another person in a long while. Things were clearly sitting on her brain more than you’d like. You longed to tell her it’d be okay. No more running, no more wondering about food and shelter anymore. You hoped Tommy was as good of a person as he claimed, because you weren’t sure how much longer you could fight.

[fictionfixations]

I FINALLY FINISHED CANTO 8 OHHH MY GOD

IM CAUGHT UP

ohhhhhhhh my god

ALSO NO MAINTENANCE LETS GOOOOOOOOO i dont know what i wouldve done after doing this fight and then it being during maintenance because not in a million years do i want to redo that fight again

technically its not that hard i know what to do i actually read shit but oh man

also i know on like previous posts i was like im gonna wait for walpurgis night and get dawn office sinclair

ha

i kept getting knocked down to my backup units so i actually needed sinclair to.. not be level 12 (hes the last backup but oh my god does it make a difference)

so i got cinq sinclair and used like the immediately uptie to 4 thing and immediately level to 50 thing, i also threadspinned his ego from the battlepass which was GOOD because oh my god

i swear the egos from the battlepass carried me

like fluid sac carried me too (i cant believe faust survived the entire fight for once holy shit, also i cant believe the remaining units had the attacks to be able to keep fueling fluid sac??? I thought id have to wait a day so i could use sapling of light abilities again but NOPE)

but oh my god did it do big damage

it was in the hundreds man goddamn

also used the fact that hong lu cant die unless all other allies are dead even though him dying loses the battle (after you get like the happiness thing) to my advantage by using his battlepass ego because oh man big damage and oh whats this a free heal instead of immediately dying after? lets goooo

not to understate sinclair's ego either because it was GREAT hell yeah

also that all my units are decently leveled (except meursault ive been using a support id, sorry man but pursuance ego and chain of others are also really helping and i dont have his pursuance ego, so its not worth it to level him right now when im not even using the id i have)

lowest is 44 but the rest are around 50-55 so that was good

also actually uptied outis, feel like i underestimated her all this time because she did good, i just didnt have a need to before because she was always in backup and was more used as additional targets so my stronger units could get damage in

her skill three animation was pretty (warp outis)

also dont remember what it was but both heishou pack si ids have this one attack where they like i think sheathe their weapon and then have an eye glint and i keep thinking theyre gonna attack again but they dont 💀

also??? i think don quixote (t corp) did something with time/clock?? there was like a status effect id never seen before (or maybe i just never noticed idk its very easy for me not to notice things right in front of me) where so the enemy wouldnt take damage because all that damage would get stored and then by like the end of the turn or something like that it would all hit at once

THIS

ive just. never noticed.

anyway thoughts on canto 8 (may get very personal ngl)

loved it

hong lu was already up there in my favorites along with yi sang but man did this make me love him more

just.. the thought that like well yeah shit can seem meaningless and futile when its all gonna end someday, but as long as youre still with us stuffs gonna keep happening. yeah we might part ways one day, but the end is also the beginning. where eventually youll move on but youll also experience new things.

for as long as you walk this world, the world will continue spinning, it will continue moving regardless of whether you feel like theres a meaning, and like well

yeah you could isolate yourself and it could feel ilke nothings happening at all, that everything pointless, but the people around you will still do things, things will still keep happening, and

okay i feel like im butchering this but you know what i mean okay

ive had very nihilistic views before, especially because at one point i just... didnt like living, it was just full of suffering and i hated it and i was so so tired and things that shouldve been important just lost meaning to me because yknow, whats the point? if we're all gonna die today, why do we live? if i intend to not live this long, then whats the point of doing stuff for the benefit of my future self?

but life kept moving on around me, and i eventually tired of putting myself into this cycle of self-hatred because it was just so draining

so i kept moving on. kept living day by day. and well i cant really say theres a meaning to life, a meaning to my life that i want to strive for, to live for, not really

but i got interested in things, as fleeting as they would be, and despite how they would eventually end. i got myself attached to stories and games, as tragic as those stories may be and as sad as i may be when it finally reaches its end, i live the next day to continue experiencing these stories, and to get enjoyment out of it

i used to feel so miserable all the time, but now i find myself laughing so much more, smiling so much more

god i got so sidetracked but i relate to hong lu a lot. man am i glad i started playing this game man..

when i first started i immediately latched onto yi sang as a favorite (maybe because he was one of my first 3 stars haha) and i loved his canto, i loved the meaning, that yeah the mirror can show multiple possibilities, but the mirror is also a reflection of yourself, so these possibilities? theyre yours. these wings you wish you had so badly? if theyre on me, then theyre on you too. its like 3 am forgive me for butchering trying to explain this but god did i love it. i like re-listening to the limbus company mili songs and ill sing along and fly my wings.. 'please die little dreams' i just start sobbing it keeps making me emotional man

hong lu? i can attribute it to partially because when i started reindeer hong lu was on the banner and he looked cool, i liked his personality, and it grew from there as i progressed through the story but he'd never been as high up there as yi sang. until now.

also his announcer brings up a lot of stuff that makes me kinda sad, he does bring up emotions like ah so this is what wrath feels like, like he'll bring up the same emotions he brought up in the last fight (happiness, joy, wrath, sorrow..), and also other things in relation to the sinners that hit me in the feels man

maybe not in the same way as don quixote's 'i was blessed with a family of twelve' because oh man if i wasnt sobbing already during that part i wouldve burst into tears, but it still made me very emotional

also the the dante being like 'you know how i know this? because im talking about myself here' GREAT LINE oh my god

also actually WE LOVE JIA QIU IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, im sure im not the only one who was like shut up jia huan during that moment but very very appreciated, the 'not forming opinions on him based on what others say' i cant remember the exact quote, continuing to push hong lu to not be appeasing, to not just say what others want to hear, and not to say something that could work but does not count as something he believes in and is again just another way to appease of okay you want an actual answer but then is kind of a nothing burger

i love that jia qiu continued pushing until he got what hong lu really believed in, what he really thought, even if it mightve been something he wouldnt have necessarily agreed with, or something that others would consider childish and naive, got hong lu to say something hes held so close to his heart, accepted it but which had also given him the confidence to more speak his mind, to speak more confidently and elaborate on what he meant, and so his answer of 'kindness' wasnt something kind of like well. short. i dont know how to describe it.

yes hoping for others to be kind is probably a tough ask, especially considering where they live, but the sinners are proof that people can be kind to each other and help lift each other up when moments are tough.

one person cant do all that heavy lifting, but as long as there are people reaching out a hand and well embracing each other even if its just one person, then thats still something, thats still a bond that'll make the world lighter, thatll give them the ability to move forward and the strength to tackle on more heavier problems

i mean im clearly biased since its hong lus answer but MAN

and so jia qiu also telling him that like he cant keep drifting like a cloud, that to achieve this he cant keep watching things silently without doing anything, he cant keep acting the way he has that was forced onto him to deal with the trauma he faced, and does have to be there, does have to act, just like how his younger self used to be

its

its validating that his younger self wasnt wrong for wanting to help people, for wanting to act even if he couldnt save everyone, even if everyone around him kept telling him that he should just 'sit still and look pretty'

god man

theres so much stuff i could say

also holy shit this post is getting long oh my god

im gonna end this here man

but fuck man canto 8...

to be perfectly honest i dont remember a lot from canto 1 and 2 but i remember liking it and thats why i kept playing (gonna have to reread them cause man i do try to pay attention when first starting a game but its also like i dont know what is going on which really impacts my ability to remember this stuff)

canto 3 i loved, it made me like sinclair more even if the ending felt sort of incomplete because it wasnt sinclair who in the end killed kromer

the chicken intervallo was hella funny and made me like more of the other sinners outside of just the ones whod already gotten a focus and the ones who were my favorites

canto 4 was beautiful (and also forced me to actually understand a little better wtf im doing in fights)

canto 5 made me feel a lot of things, it made me think a lot? unsure if im saying that right but trying not to repeat myself on what ive said for other cantos so there. like... it was getting manipulated, knowing youre getting manipulated but still kind of falling for it anyway because okay what can you do, but then getting out of it by doing something that person didnt expect. it was hatred obsession a desire for revenge that twisted from instead of being a tale of someone taking revenge that'll likely only leave them hollow in the end, to no longer let ahab control her basically. it was a big middle finger

canto 6 was... tragic. all these thoughts of how its gonna go and all of them were wrong. mostly. im sure its meant to be like in the same headspace as heathcliff. like oh yeah we're gonna get him all dressed up and meet cathy and then shes dead. shes already gone. before i started i listened to a bunch of the limbus company mili songs and would cautiously look at the comment section to tell which sinner and which canto it was probably for so i knew this was about heathcliff and a cathy. and i thought that oh he and cathy are fighting and shes like 'you have to let me go heathcliff' but it wasnt really that? it was.. just so sad that maybe they couldve had something, maybe, if they'd spoken more, if they'd been more honest- its all what ifs. and then all the cathys were deleted. makes me wonder if that one where heathcliff and cathy were happy together, if that heathcliff's catherine also got lost, or if 'every cathy' applied to every cathy with a bad ending + our heathcliff's catherine. i wonder. and i wonder too how heathcliff could even get catherine back, if in the end its all futile because shes dead she cant come back, but i would also like to hope that somehow, he'll find her. with a better understanding of her than ever, that their hearts are united and not letting any dark thoughts cloud his mind and make him unable to see whats in front of him. i hope.

canto 7. god i love canto 7. this is getting way too long so i dont want to elaborate too much now but sancho being like didnt you always tell me to stop dreaming (i forgot the quote, my minds stuck on 'the dream ending'), and like well yeah, waves hand at power of friendship which i feel doesnt fully encapsulate what really happened there but im summarizing. and like just. it was beautiful, and sad. her repeating his introduction while he mightve already died but shes saying it anyway and telling him and and that she was blessed with a family of twelve and and... and i dont have the words to describe it man im gonna cry thinking about it again

canto 8 though. might just be my favorite. theyve all made me feel things, but canto 8 is one i can find myself really relating with and thus find the message ever more powerful and ever more beautiful.

haha i said i was gonna end it and then i kept yapping so um whoops

but man do i love this game.

also forgor to look at this but the singular ex i missed 💀 (i already converted my enkephalin into modules already so whoops)

also oh my god i took so long writing this the announcement for the latter half of the roadmap livestream happened LMAO (LETS GO walpurgis hopefully 🙏 i may not need dawn office sinclair anymore but man i wanna see what i get)

[muchanmocha]

Hi! This is the same anon that asked you about Mizizua love-hate. As the new comic dropped... This adds a whole new layer to that doesn't it? Just... Gwaaaah! I can now see what aspect of Sua that Mizi might hate. I can relate to that resentment where it feels like they're on a suffering Olympics. The one who has a better home life, having no right to complain as your friend is suffering more than you and so you bottle it all in while feeling like they don't care about your suffering. And then she says stuff that cuts deep, Mizi might know Sua doesn't mean it the same way as the jerk who said it first but Mizi can't help but feel hurt anyway since it's from the girl she loves.

This also recontextualizes a lot of her other relationships, like why she's so fond of Ivan and has high intimacy towards him but he only goes up to 30% towards her - to her it may be just the right amount, she can be free to be affectionate around him while he will never take it the wrong way.

Or crack theory time: Luka looking like the creepo in the comics and how he behaved around Mizi in RomH may be triggering to Mizi and she beat him up in part because of her trauma with men.

Heck, Mizitil is a dynamic that deserves to be observed under a microscope. It's far more complex than I initially thought. Admiration is reciprocated to some degree but romance poisons it. Yet she wants to give Till a chance to be friends cause even when she rejected him point blank he was never violent with her?

I love Mizi. The girl of all time. Just gotta find a place to gush about her.

Hello again! Oh yeah for sure, it definitely adds more layers to Mizisua love-hate.

I do think it's important to note that Mizi didn't slap Sua as a conscious action — it was entirely reflex due to hurt. Though whether it draws from existing hate (no matter how small) is up to the individual's interpretation.

Still I don't blame either of them here.

No matter how much we care about someone, we can hurt them without meaning to. Whether it be a bitter comment, a careless response, a moment of anger, or just the wrong words at the wrong time. No matter how good your relationship is, those moments will exist because we're inherently human.

The world of Alnst only exacerbates it all. There's been a continual theme of "what you receive is what you're capable of giving." (ex. Till being able to love so genuinely bc of his mother, all Luka received was pain so that's all he knows/can inflict on others) The environment of Alnst has put all the pet humans through more than they ever should've endured and it resonates through their relationships in the form of hurting each other.

This is more of a personal belief but I think Mizi was only able to slap Sua there and then because it's now been introduced to her system as a way to react to hurt via what happened to her earlier.

Mizi's pain and the way she needs Sua (of all people, the only one) to see it and acknowledge it really parallels Ivan. She even inherits this specific line of his in Cure:

"Notice my pain, and mend me right now"

I don't think Mizi's bright smile and bubbly persona are faked. It's her most authentic self, and that's what makes it so powerful.

I just don't think she's allowed to drop it.

Even the most cheerful person we know in our lives isn't cheerful all the time. But she's internalized that she can't drop it, whether that be to better protect herself from a world she won't be able to bear, or for the sake of others and continuing to provide the same solace for them.

In this, her situation differs a little from Ivan, who wears a carefully constructed mask to hide a self he doesn't believe anyone can accept.

But they're the same in that they can't show the wounds they've accumulated inside, and suffer from the loneliness that comes with their pain not being acknowledged or seen. The natural reaction to that is to seek out the one person they trust to see, the one person they need to see them as they are.

"Notice my pain."

—

I've seen the "he resembles Luka to draw parallels for Mizi's trauma" theory a lot in the last 24 hours, and I mean, I think it's one of those it's up to you whether that's canon or not things.

I personally think it's just a coincidence because it's happened a lot in the past (ex. Ivan's resemblance to Acorn esp as a child) and the resemblance is almost entirely due to the quirks of the artstyle rather than intentional design choice (wherein it's only "wavy hair".)

—

Oh god Mizi and Till.

My hot take is that Till is actually the most important character in The True Face because his death is the one Mizi feels the most responsibility for and therefore the one for which her survivor's guilt manifests the strongest.

I'm working on a post about it 💪hopefully can finish in the next day or so.

[aliza-sophie]

Still her home court

hiii

this is my first published story!

i know its not fantastic but bare with meee!

anyways feel free to ask for a part 2! :)

wordcount: 2.4k

Setting: Elize and Paiges shared apartment in Dallas

Warnings: not really anything just a little fluff

This is no hate to any of the Wings players. this is just for fun:)

(its in Elizes POV) Enjoy:3

I heard the front door before I saw her.

Not slammed, but definitely not gentle — the kind of frustrated “I’m barely holding it together” sound that I’d come to recognize over the last few months.

Paige had been home for all of fifteen seconds, and already the room felt heavier.

I stayed curled on the couch, pretending to read but really just waiting for her to drop her bag and exhale the way she always did after practice. And then I saw her. Dallas Wings hoodie soaked at the collar. Shoulders tight, jaw locked. Hair still pulled back, sweat-damp and frizzy at the edges.

She looked… worn.

“Hey, babe,” I offered gently, setting my book down. “How was practice?”

She didn’t answer right away. Just kept walking, slow and zombie-like, until she dropped onto the other end of the couch and let her head fall into her hands.

That was my answer.

“They don’t listen,” she muttered, voice muffled by her palms. “I’m talking on defense, calling switches, rotating, and they’re just… lost. Still.”

I shifted closer, pulling my knees up under me so I could face her. “Rough day?”

She let out a bitter laugh — short, sharp. “Every day’s a rough day lately. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m trying to glue a broken vase with chapstick.”

That made me smile, even if she didn’t mean it to be funny. “That’s a new one.”

She lifted her head slightly, eyes glassy and frustrated. “Elize, I’m not used to this. I went from UConn — where everything clicked, where we moved as one — to this... chaos. There’s no rhythm. No identity. The vets are checked out, and the rookies are lost. And I’m stuck in the middle.”

My heart tugged at the sight of her — this woman who used to radiate confidence, who used to float out of games like her feet barely touched the floor. Now she looked like she was dragging bricks behind her.

I scooted closer and reached for her hand, curling my fingers around hers. She didn’t pull away. Her thumb brushed mine absently, but her eyes were fixed on the dark TV screen like it might have answers.

“They made me run point all practice,” she said after a moment. “Not even letting me work off-ball. I can’t run the offense and score if no one knows where to be. It’s like babysitting. Except the babies are six-foot athletes who don’t talk.”

I laughed — just enough to soften the edge of it — and leaned in to kiss her temple. “You ever think maybe they don’t know what to do because they’re looking to you?”

She didn’t respond, but her jaw clenched. I knew that face. She didn’t want to be anyone’s savior. Not again.

“You came into this league with all the hype in the world, Paige. Number one pick, college legend, face of the future. That’s a lot to carry.”

She looked at me then, really looked — like the mask dropped for just a second.

“I don’t care about the hype,” she whispered. “I just wanted to play basketball. The way I love it. The way it used to feel.”

I tightened my hold on her hand. “Then come back to that. Not for the team. Not for the fans. For you.”

She leaned her head back on the couch, letting her eyes close. “I miss loving it.”

I let the silence stretch between us for a beat, then gently stood and tugged at her arm. “Come on.”

“What?”

“Bedroom. Now.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re being weirdly bossy.”

“Trust me.” I tugged again. “You need this.”

Reluctantly, she stood, stretching her arms up with a soft groan. She followed me down the short hall to our room, where I pulled her hoodie off and tossed it into the laundry basket. Her sports bra underneath clung to her like a second skin, soaked with effort and frustration.

“Sit,” I said, patting the edge of the bed.

She did, watching me cautiously, like she was waiting for me to make some grand speech.

Instead, I dropped to my knees in front of her, placed both hands on her thighs, and rested my head against her knee.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Just breathing. Quiet. Intimacy without pressure.

After a while, she ran a hand through my hair. “You always do this.”

I looked up at her. “Do what?”

“Catch me. When I’m falling apart. Like it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” I said. “But you’re not falling apart. You’re carrying more than you should. Let me carry some, too.”

Her eyes softened. She reached down and tugged me up onto the bed with her, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my neck. We lay there for a while, her weight half on top of me, her breath slowly steadying.

“I love you,” she murmured, voice muffled against my collarbone.

“I love you more,” I replied, running a hand up and down her back. “Even when you’re sweaty and grumpy.”

She chuckled, and it warmed my chest.

“I just didn’t think it’d be like this,” she said. “Pro ball. I thought I’d be lighting it up. Making ESPN every week.”

“You will,” I said, kissing the side of her head. “But even if you don’t, I’ll still be here. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

She looked up at me, her blue eyes soft now. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know who I am without winning.”

I cupped her face in my hands. “You’re Paige. The girl who smiles mid-crossover. The girl who plays like the court is hers, not because someone gave it to her — but because she claimed it. You’re still that girl. Even when the scoreboard says otherwise.”

She didn’t speak for a moment. Just leaned in and kissed me — slow, deep, the kind of kiss that says thank you and I need you and please don’t stop all at once.

And I didn’t stop.

I kissed her until the world outside our bedroom didn’t exist. Until she forgot about broken systems and missed rotations. Until all that mattered was the quiet rhythm of our bodies pressed together and the breath we shared between kisses.

Later, when she lay with her head on my chest, one leg tangled over mine and her fingers drawing lazy circles on my hip, she whispered:

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You won’t have to find out,” I said, stroking her back.

She sighed. “Think I should keep pushing? Keep trying to fix it?”

I smiled. “I think the game needs you. Even like this. Maybe especially like this.”

There was a long pause.

Then she said, “You’re my home court now, you know that?”

I felt my throat tighten, but I didn’t cry. Just smiled into her hair and held her a little tighter.

“I know,” I whispered. “And I’ll always be here. Win or lose.”

And in that quiet, messy, beautiful moment — Paige Bueckers wasn’t a star, a rookie, or a savior.

She was just mine.

[nat-20s]

I haven’t gone too into my feelings about the dw finale, (and keep in mind I’m also heavily biased towards donna noble) but I feel like…there was good reason to bring Donna back and give her a happy ending? We still don’t know why Rose is there, if it’s something with Bad Wolf or what, but like, girl already had her ending (twice kind of???) and already *did* come back in an anniversary special in a huge role. Like it feels like a lot of times they bring her back it’s as a ‘look at how this person was The Most Important Companion Ever’ and plus the dw finale vs the 60th anniversary specials are just so different in general it’s tough to compare them yknow? Anyway sorry for the ramble i love your blog!!

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR A RAMBLE HERE AT NAT-20S.EDU THE YAPPING GRIND IS FOREVER.

but also yeah!!! I mean take all this with a grain of salt bc I haven't actually seen the latest season yet however:

I completely agree. I think it's kind of annoying when people act like Donna's return was JUST nostalgia bait bc ok. Bringing David Tennant back I think was more nostalgic but I'll allow it because I think David and Catherine should be in stuff together forever and ever amen.

Donna however ..Donna felt unresolved to me. I know I had been actively gunning for a Donna return since like. 2018 so I'm not objective here but she left off in a way that it felt like there should've been more to the story. It was just a tragic ending it felt! Incomplete! Because like yes she got her memories wiped and that should be that but her memories were also a ticking time bomb. And it felt like at some point we should know if that bomb is ever gonna go off! Because they weren't even properly wiped, they were more sublimated and abled to be triggered somewhat easily!!! I'm glad we finally got some fuckin. Follow up! And that's without accounting that The Doctor was carrying her with them and being haunted by her perpetually.

Also. I think the placement of David and Catherine's return works better narratively. It was a transitionary point, just three episodes, both to celebrate the show and get the narrative of doctor who from the older era into the new. To allow Ncuti Gatwa's doctor to thrive and have fun without carrying /quite/ so much baggage as had been backed up through 13. (How well that actually got executed is a different discussion) It was both a passing of the torch and a real conclusion for Donna, so, like. Yeah. I think it Worked TM overall.

And honestly as much as I'd enjoy hearing like. Some 14donna audios (because again. I want Catherine and David to do everything together forever). I don't feel like I need to see them again. I am happy with their arc I am happy with their ending I don't. NEED to see them again.

And I feel the same about like. Rose. Clara. Amy and Rory. It'd be fun to get some EU stuff about them, or maybe a little cameo, and I do think anniversary specials are kind of free reign to bring back whoever tf you want!!

And this casting is so. Annoying. And NOT because I don't love Billie Piper but there's a difference 2 me about tying up loose ends/celebrating some of the past during celebratory episodes and being firmly STUCK in the past instead of moving forward and doing something interesting. And Billie's (stunt) casting feels like the later to me.

Also also. If you were gonna bring back an actress to give her a new, better ending. Freema was right there. All this bringing back of characters and we didn't even get to see Martha interact with 15 (or get an apology) 😔😔😔😔

Tldr Donna's return felt earned while Billie Piper (through no fault of her as an actress!!) feels hackneyed. Love and light.

[dreamwatch]

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest Somewhere Over The Rainbow event.

Look Up at the Storm

Prompt: Red | Song: Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil | Word Count: 2287 | Rating: T | CW: implied/referenced child neglect | POV: Eddie | Relationships: Eddie & Al Munson, Eddie & Wayne Munson | Angst, emotional hurt and a little bit of comfort, flashbacks, Good Uncle Wayne, Eddie needs a hug, S01 setting, Al loves his son he's just not a great father

Thanks to @kikidoesfanfic for sending me this song! 💗

Eddie struggles with his red rain boots. Daddy takes care of it though, tickles Eddie’s feet while he’s getting his thick socks on, because the boots are still too big for him and they help fill the gaps, Daddy says, and he knows the best way to get Eddie’s feet in without getting his jeans all wriggled up his leg the way he hates. And they splash and splash in the rain and Eddie screams with laughter and Mommy sits in her window laughing at the pair of them. Eddie has a rain coat, a blue one with little white dogs, and the hood keeps slipping off. It’s getting too small but it’s okay, Daddy says, they’ll get him a new one soon, go all the way to Fort Wayne to go and look, and Eddie asks if Mommy can come and Daddy brushes Eddie’s wet curls out of his face and says “Maybe next time.”

But there isn’t a next time.

Eddie sits in first period history, his knee bouncing and bouncing, his wallet chain and the desk rattling slightly behind the beat. Mrs Click throws him pointed looks over her glasses until she eventually outright tells him to stop it. So he does for a minute or so, but then his mind slowly drifts and so does his knee.

When the class goes quiet, everyone with their heads in their books, he can hear the tick tick tick of the grey clock on the wall over the scratching of pencils; he knows the minutes are counting down but he watches the clock all the same. The court hearing is at nine thirty, and Wayne says the lawyer thinks it will be over in half an hour or so. So he’s spent all morning in classes keeping an eye on the clock, watching the hands creep painfully toward ten, and then trying to work out when Wayne might get home after the long drive from Indy. He has coins for the payphone ready, burning a hole in his pocket.

When the lunch bell rings he’s out of the door before anyone else has even got out of their seats.

The payphone is free and he lets out a relieved breath as he pulls the coins from his pocket and drops them into the slot. His fingers tap out a shaky rhythm on the side of the phone. He lets it ring until he’s cut off because no one picks up.

Wayne’s not home. He doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. Wayne warned him to be prepared, and he is, or at least he was trying to be. But the last time he had spoken to his dad he’d told Eddie that the lawyer had said there was a shot he could just get time served, or maybe six months if the judge was a dick.

“It’ll be alright, Eddie, you’ll see? Have faith in your old man.”

Eddie wanted to, he always tried to, but it just got harder the older he got.

Wayne, he was the realist of the two Munson brothers.

“I know what he’s telling you,” he’d said to Eddie after a visit, “because he’s telling me too. But this isn’t like last time. You need to be prepared for this one, okay?”

And Eddie had scoffed and spat like a camel all night if Wayne so much looked at him. Al wasn’t a saint, Eddie’s not stupid, but sometimes when Wayne talks about his dad it’s like he doesn’t even like him. Like he can’t even stand his only brother. His dad made mistakes but he was looking after Eddie on his own, and Eddie remembers acting up after his mom died, he knows he was an asshole even if he didn’t mean to be, and his dad could have left him with his mom’s family, they offered enough times. And sometimes it was nice having the place to himself for the night, being able to bring his friends over, getting to stay up late even on school nights. Dad always left him money, he never went without. And if worse came to worst, well Uncle Wayne was a few minutes away.

Worse came to worst when he was eleven and he went to live with Wayne for six months. Worse came to worst again when he was fourteen and he went to live with Wayne for a year.

After he got out, Dad came to see him, and he said he’d probably have to stay in Indy on account of seeing his parole officer and then he just never came home. But he called from time to time, and he’d ask Eddie about his grades, told Eddie he was proud of him because no Munson had graduated high school before and Eddie was going to be the first. And he told him how he could be anything he wanted, he could go anywhere he liked, and Al would be right there with him, just not at the moment, because he’s getting things set up for them both, and he wants him to have a nice home and to give him all the things he had missed out on when he was growing up.

But he’s still growing up and the only thing he’s missing out on is his dad.

He doesn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria, instead he sits on the wall nearest the payphone staring the thing down and glaring at anyone who dares to come near it. He’s not hungry, just picks at a bag of potato chips he brought from home, but he throws them in the trash because his stomach is swooping and turning on a constant churn and he knows he’ll be sick if he eats anymore.

The bell rings and he tries the phone once more before going back to class.

The phone rings three times before Wayne picks up.

“Hello?”

His gut tightens.

“Hey, it’s me,” he says, and he hopes he sounds casual, hopes that the rising anxiety stretching him taught isn’t making it’s way down the phone line. “How did it go?”

There’s a long moment, a stretch where time seems all pulled-out like dough, until eventually Wayne sighs, one of those big ones, weary and tired and Eddie’s stomach drops again but this time it doesn’t come back up.

“Ed…,” and the way Wayne says his name is so sad and weighted that Eddie has his answer.

He hears laughter coming from a classroom, and he drops his head forward onto the payphone, folding in on himself. He clears his throat because he wants to sound strong for Wayne.

“How long?”

He says it like a man, but he feels like a boy.

His dad always says he’s proud of him, would that make him prouder?

“Why don’t you come on home, I’ll call the principal—“

“How long?” he asks again, firmer this time.

Another deep, loaded sigh comes from the end of the line.

“Fifteen years.”

Eddie’s brain whites out after that.

That’s not right. That can’t be right.

He thinks he can hear Wayne say something about appeals, about an early release for good behaviour maybe, but his brain keeps skipping on fifteen years, fifteen years. Fifteen fucking years.

“— be there in ten minutes? Eddie? Did you hear me, son?”

It’s painfully soft: son. Eddie’s not his son though. He wants to scream it but none of this is Wayne’s fault.

“Uh…” He swallows hard, he’s not going to cry, not here, not at fucking Hawkins High. “ I have a… I have an English test. This afternoon.”

There’s no way Wayne doesn’t hear the shakiness in his voice, the way he can’t catch a full breath, but he doesn’t mention it and Eddie’s grateful for that.

“Alright. But come straight home after, okay? We’ll talk properly then.”

What is there to talk about?

He’s late for class, and Mr Mundy makes a remark he doesn’t hear before giving him a tardy slip. He just takes it from his fingers without comment, and wanders the hallways in a daze.

He takes his test, because his dad said he was going to be the first Munson to get a high school diploma, and he promised Wayne he’d keep going, even after his grades slipped when his dad got arrested.

He reads the questions, and then reads them again but his head is full of ants and his dad is going to prison for fifteen years. Al will be pushing sixty and Eddie will be thirty two and Mrs O'Donnell taps him on the shoulder softly and asks him if everything is okay, because class is over and everyone’s left but him. He nods wordlessly and hands her his empty test sheet.

The hallways are full of kids making study plans for the evening, or talking about their dates, and they’re all laughing because their dads aren’t going to prison.

Steve Harrington has his arm around some snooty sophomore girl and that Byers weirdo is putting up more posters for his missing brother and at least they’ll know Al couldn’t have done it because he was in jail. At least Hopper can’t pick him up for that one, fat fucking pig that he is.

He doesn’t want to go home but he doesn’t want to see his friends either so he gets in his van and drives around town, and he stops for cigarettes but they won’t accept his fake ID today so no beer, more's the pity.

He drives and he smokes and he drives and the shadows get longer and the sun dips lower and he finds himself at the park. He takes his cigarettes and a can of warm root-beer with him and he plants his ass on a swing.

His dad lied.

But Eddie knew that, didn’t he?

This was Al’s third conviction and he got off light before on account of having a kid at home and no mother in the picture, but everyone’s luck runs out eventually.

And it was there in the tone, there in the words, when Eddie cares to notice.

“I know you’re strong enough to this on your own now.”

He takes a deep drag from his cigarette as he lazily pushes himself backwards and forwards on a swing he outgrew years ago.

Al was supposed to be here, he was supposed to see him graduate, was supposed to be here to take him for his first legal beer, he was supposed to see him be a success, to fall in love, to have kids. He doesn’t want to do this on his own, he wants his fucking dad.

He doesn’t care that he’s nearly eighteen, doesn’t care that he’s nearly a man, doesn’t care that he’s too old to cry about it.

He just wants his dad.

Rain spits from the sky and a pair of little girls squeal as their parents pull them back to the safety of their car.

Eddie’s eyes burn.

“Eddie?”

If he looks up he’ll cry so instead he stares at Wayne’s boots, splattered with mud. He’s supposed to be at work and shame smacks Eddie square in the chest because he won’t have slept today, and having to chase after Eddie’s useless ass wouldn’t have helped.

Wayne sits on the swing beside him and reaches across to squeeze Eddie’s hand. He’d have yanked it away yesterday, he’ll yank it away tomorrow, but today he lets him do it.

Course fingers sweep his wet bangs off his face and the warm touch of his Uncle's hand is the final straw and he hopes Wayne will just think it’s rain streaming down his cheeks because he’s nearly eighteen and he doesn’t do this anymore.

“He lied,” he chokes out. Wayne nods in reply.

“He didn’t want to worry you. He loves you, Eddie. He’s so proud of you—”

“Don’t!”

“I’m proud of you, too.”

The rain eases, but the tears don’t.

The chain of the swing clinks as Wayne stands.

“Come on,” he says holding his hand out, “Let’s go home.”

Uncle Wayne helps him pull his red rain boots on. He’s rougher than Daddy, doesn’t know the right way to stop his jeans from getting caught up his legs the way he hates. They’re getting tight for him now and one of them has a split in the side but Uncle Wayne taped it up and he said it’ll last till they can get some new ones over in Fort Wayne.

Daddy leaves him here sometimes since they said goodbye to Mommy. Eddie doesn’t know why.

Uncle Wayne lives in a trailer and Eddie hates it because when it rains the forest looks creepy, and the windows rattle and the lights flash. Sometimes when it’s bad it sounds like a monster trying to get in.

He walks into the rain with his taped up boots pinching his toes but he doesn’t feel much like splashing today.

Big hands grab him and scoop him up into the sky.

“Look up at the storm, Eddie.”

He throws his arms around Uncle Wayne’s neck and follows the line of his hand pointed up into the sky. The sky is big, and some of it’s angry and grey, the clouds round and black and he tightens his arms around Uncle Wayne’s neck as a clap of thunder roars. But Wayne shakes him a little and when he opens his eyes he sees the blue peaking through the clouds and the fattest rainbow he’s ever seen. Colours like jewels hanging in the air.

Uncle Wayne kisses his wet cheek, and Eddie squeezes him tight, and they sit on the porch together and wait for the storm to pass.

****

It's 4am and I am sleep deprived but I think I got most of the typos and nonsense sentences. and if I didn't, well sucks to be me I guess!

@the-unforgivenn I got it finished! 💗

[puhpandas]

emotional 3 star fam + m.x.e.s arc where after they steal them they learn more about them and find out that they're a lot more sentient than they thought an antivirus from the late 70s would be and that m.x.e.s was built for one purpose to fight against the mimic, but it hasnt been able to fulfill that purpose in a long time after being left to rot all alone in that factory. 3 star took them to use them to be the mimics warden and everything already so theyre able to help m.x.e.s feel fulfilled again by it realizing its purpose again, and updating them so their outdated programming is new and shiny and the cobwebs are dusted off :)

[claitea]

wait oh my god the new anni lillie is just a palette swap of the old one? this actually sucks why did they do that