#but shes not my dog and it was ''fine'' anyway so its none of my business right. haha.

[butchshepherd]

caring more than the average person abt dogs' wellbeing and dogs being given the best chances to thrive in the situations they're put in is making me feel like i sound like this today. sorry i guess.

[marlynnofmany]

Accidental Training

The animal cargo of the day was large and honking, but it seemed well-mannered enough. Picture a sea lion with tiny scales instead of fur, dark gray on top and speckled pale underneath. Bobbing its head in curiosity at the cargo bay and the people in it. The squid-shaped clients maneuvering the cage into place didn’t rate a second look, but they were probably familiar and boring.

Captain Sunlight, with her lemon-yellow scales and dignified lizardperson demeanor, got a lot of attention. She ignored the honks as she finished business with the clients.

Then I stepped up to see what kind of creature I’d be in charge of for this trip, and it exploded in excitement like a 500-pound puppy, dancing in place on its flippers and honking up a storm.

One of the clients said, “It does that sometimes. Have a good flight,” then waved a tentacle and left.

Captain Sunlight squinted at the cage like she would have liked to cover her earholes but wanted to put on a strong front. Instead she looked up at me and said, “Good thing this is a short journey. It seems to like you, though.”

“I see that,” I said, waggling my fingers at it, which just made it honk louder. “Did they tell us a name for it?”

She consulted the information on her tablet while the excitable creature continued to hop around. “Looks like his name is Freckles.”

“That’s adorable,” I said. “Hi, Freckles! Are you a good boy? Yes? Are you so excited that you could break a weaker travel cage than this? Yes you are!” I pressed my hands to my knees in classic talking-to-puppy fashion, which did nothing for the noise levels in the room.

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted,” Captain Sunlight told me. “The hover setting for the cage is turned off; it’s clamped in place; the food and supplies are here; we’ll take off shortly.”

“Got it,” I said with a wave as she left. There was a chance that Freckles would calm down if I left too, but he seemed equally likely to make lonely wails if left alone, and anyways this was the reason I’d been hired in the first place. Nobody else on the courier ship knew the first thing about animals. “All right, Freckles, are you ready to travel through space? Is that new for you? You look like you’re in good shape. Let’s aim for no medical emergencies on this trip.”

Freckles honked once, which I took for a yes. He bobbed up and down like a dog inviting another to play.

I copied the move, and he did it again. I lifted one foot, and he did the same, honking happily.

“Good boy! I’ll bet you make your people proud by holding still for tooth-brushing, don’t you? Lemme see your teeth. Ahhh.” I opened my mouth as an example.

With a similar noise, the clever animal copied the motion. His teeth looked clean enough, with none discolored or missing, and he even stuck his tongue out for a good look when prompted. I found a nearly-empty container of treats among the supplies, and rewarded him for good behavior.

“Good job. What else should we check? Can you show me your flipper? And turn like this? Very good. And like that?”

He could and did, visibly happy with the praise and treats. He was a little calmer now that there was something specific to do.

The engines started up with a quiet rumble, which caused him a moment of anxiety, but he was happily distracted when I started echoing his honks back at him.

If this had been an inanimate cargo, I would have left the cargo bay already, but I had nothing more important to do. My job today was to keep an eye on this guy. So I prompted him to do more beneficial tricks, then when the treats ran out, I decided the container made a fine toy.

“Hey look, a hat,” I told him as I put the lid on my head. The container was a mostly-round thing that twisted apart into two equal halves. That meant Freckles got a hat too. And he was so happy about it when I stuck it between the bars.

Only one coworker walked past the door while I was entertaining the cargo: Mur the Strongarm, who looked much like the people who’d brought Freckles onboard. Mur paused, saying nothing. Freckles ignored him, dancing from side to side while wearing his jaunty new hat.

I held my own pose, one foot in the air, arms spread. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Mur said. “Nothing at all.” He continued on his way.

“You’re welcome to join us!” I called after him.

“No thanks. I’m good.”

The short trip was pretty fun. Freckles was particularly taken by the discovery that his honks echoed when the container covered his snout. He could even balance it on his flipper like a hand, taking it on and off to test the difference in sounds. When I did the same and then gave him another treat from a fresh container, he pranced in place and slapped his flippers together.

As it turned out, he was good at repeating patterns too. We did some clapping games of the sort that human toddlers love, then I found a ball among the supplies and we were all set for the rest of the trip. It was even the squishy kind that glorped between the bars instead of bouncing off, which was perfect. We played an entertaining game of catch until the engine noises changed into landing sounds.

I was honestly surprised the trip was over. The captain came back in to meet the clients who were here for pickup, and I made sure to pack away everything into the supplies. Freckles made a sad honk when I took the container back, but I gave him one last treat, and that made up for it.

These two clients looked much like the last, though one was carrying a bag from the shopping trip they���d done on the way here. They were also more talkative than the other ones.

“…Had to stop by the battery shop for three different kinds of chargers, then the feed store for more of the special diet that our oldest animal takes, and there was so much traffic!” The one typing information into the payment screen didn’t stop for breath, waving several tentacles as she talked.

“I’m just glad there was a mask attachment of the right size in stock,” said the one with the bag. “Getting Freckles his air vitamins is going to be hard enough as it is.” He pulled something from the bag: a long tube with a concave shape at one end. “What do you think, Freckles? Can this be easy for once?”

Freckles honked, which could have meant anything.

I looked at the mask. “What does he usually do when you have to give him air vitamins?”

The Strongarm sighed like a deflating balloon. “He just doesn’t want it anywhere near his face. He seems to think it’s a game to avoid it, which is fun for him but incredibly tiresome for everyone else.”

“Have you tried making it a different game?” I asked, starting to smile.

“Like what?”

“Can I see that for a moment?” When he passed it over, I got the container of treats and rattled it for Freckles’ attention, then took a position in front of the cage. I held the mask in front of my own face. “Hey Freckles. Honk honk.”

He of course honked happily and shoved his nose through the bars, eager for his turn. I settled it against his snout — perfect fit — and he honked away. I pulled the mask back and gave him a treat, then turned to beam at the clients.

“What! He’s never done that!” said the one.

“How did you train him to do that?” demanded the other.

“Honestly, I wasn’t trying to,” I admitted. “But he’s very smart. He seems to like copying motions, and he’s definitely food-motivated.”

“Oh yes, those are the good treats,” said the client with the bag. “The new kind that my cousin’s book club host recommended.”

I handed back the mask. “Then you might keep these in reserve for important things, like rewarding him for taking his air vitamins. Though given how much he’s enjoying the new game, you might not even need to.”

The clients were overjoyed. They thanked me, thanked Captain Sunlight, and showered Freckles with praise as they unclamped the cage and started up its hover function. We helped them down the ramp, then they waved off any further assistance on the way to a flatbed skimmer with a loading arm. The guy with the bag of shopping struggled just a bit managing all the supplies too, but neither Captain Sunlight nor I were about to insult a Strongarm by suggesting they needed help carrying something. So we just waved our goodbyes and made sure they got everything loaded onto the skimmer before we closed the cargo bay door.

“Bye, Freckles!” I called as it closed. I heard one last honk, which I decided sounded excited about the skimmer ride to come.

“Well,” said Captain Sunlight. “That was fortunate. Good job.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I think they’ll all enjoy the vitamin process more now, especially Freckles.”

We walked through the empty cargo bay to the hall, where Paint met us, with confusion on her scaly orange face and a jar lid in her hands.

“Mur said to give this to you?” she said, holding it out to me.

I laughed. “Mur thinks he’s very funny.” I dutifully set it on my head. “Yes, the height of fashion. But I think it would look better on him. You can tell him I said so.”

“Okay,” Paint said, taking the lid back. “Why?”

Captain Sunlight huffed a laugh and headed off to the cockpit while I began the explanation of how I’d spent the recent flight.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[lostidiot24]

Hi! *

First off loved dog days are over, is it OK to recuest a part 2? 0 ++++

Thanks, so my keypad is misbehaving.

Hi!!! I’m so happy that you liked it😭 and of course! I really liked the idea I had for this story and I’m glad other people enjoyed it.

🪽Mary on a Cross🩹

Batfamily x Gender Neutral!sibling!Reader

Part 1: Dog Days Are Over

Song: Mary on a Cross by Ghost

Summary: After being rescued by Dick, your life has been anything but normal. Being a vigilante has its own unique risks but this incident has made your family very aware. Turns out, seeing your family member half dead can make you question your life choices.

TW: Burns maybe? None?? If there is any then please tell me!

(This took me a while to write cause my brain decided to stop imagining for once in its life but I hope you like this part😁)

/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/

Your senses came back very slowly. You could feel your hand twitch before the sounds of people talking over each other invaded your ears. A gentle but scarred hand clasped yours in a tender manner before your mind cleared. With a jolt, you sat up frantically and shook in slight fear. Your eyes opened and quickly shut from the bright lights. Your family was worried even more when your eyes showing no sign that you recognized them. Your body had many weird reactions to things and one was fainting out of fear, so that’s what you did.

Silence surrounded the cot you laid on as your family stared at your unconscious body.

“At least they’re not scared anymore…?” Steph shrugged with a nervous smile as she grabbed the hand that Jason wasn’t holding. He glared at her before looking back down on your body with a worried gaze.

“They’re fine. They were out of it when Dick picked them up so they probably don’t know where they are.” Tim walked through the doors of the med bay and sat down on a chair near the cot. “We got them stabilized so now we just have to wait.”

/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/

When you woke up, it was peaceful. Your body swayed gently with a gasp as your eyes widened at the sight before you. Everyone was asleep. Tim was asleep on the spinning chair while everyone else either slept on a cot or on the chairs for people visiting. Bruce and Alfred weren’t in the room with you and you guessed that was because it was the day already. Based on the clock on the desk, it was 11:17 am. With a wobble, you stood up off the cot and tiptoed into the cave.

When you left the med bay fully, you looked down and saw that you were in some pajamas that looked like yours. With fear in your eyes, you checked and was relieved to see that they didn’t take off your vigilante suit. While yes, your wounds needed to be treated, you were glad that they respected your privacy. They treated the ones that could be seen from outside the suit but you guessed that there probably wasn’t any under anyway. You carefully tiptoed up to your room after you walked out of the cave and up the stairs. When you got where to your room, you changed into different pajamas and assessed the damage fully. Burns rose up your back and crawled over your shoulders and around your thighs.

How can I not feel them?

The clock on your bedside table glowed slightly as the numbers and the date lit up. It’s been a week?! Questions swirled in your head but you settled upon the theory that they put a lot of pain relief in your blood. A knock sounded at your door and you quickly put your shirt back down before opening it. It was Dick.

“[Name]! I was so worried when you weren’t in the med bay!” He quickly walked towards you and wrapped quivering arms around your body. The ache of pain ran through your back when his arms pushed upon the burns. Dick quickly realized his mistake and pushed away from you. “Oh sorry, forgot about that… oh and B wants to talk to you.” The mention of your adoptive father created a cold environment in your room. He wasn’t a terrible father! He just had too many kids to keep track of, or that’s what you tell yourself.

“[Name]?”

“Oh sorry Dick, I was lost in my thoughts but I’ll be down in a minute.” He gave you a warm and nervous smile while her turned away, walking down the stairs. You stood in your thought for a valid amount of time until you pushed past your door and started your trek into the unknown ground of Bruce’s emotions.

/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——

A/N: I’m definitely gonna make another part that has some angst/comfort from my favorite brother Jason🤩 but for now I’m gonna leave it here and give my mind a break lol

[milfjuulpod]

Special

req: yes

can you write a Melissa x Reader where reader is the new VP of Abbott and she’s just the most professional person ever. She doesn’t wanna interact with the staff in any way that’s not professional, she’ll refer to them by last name, has lunches in her car, doesn’t try to socialize unless it’s Melissa. Melissa never notices but reader is always lingering to watch her, calls her by her first name, goes out of her way to make sure Mel is never inconvenienced by anything at Abbott. it’s not until maybe Janine or Jacob, hell Gregory even point it out that Mel notices and confronts the reader about it. Reader responds in like the cheesiest way possible, something like “i was down bad for you from the moment i saw you” and Melissa just m e l t s!!

warnings: none

A/N: hello again 🧛🏻‍♀️ i absolutely LOVED this request, so i hope you enjoy reading as much as i did writing :)) thank you for all the support !!

After earning yourself your graduate degree, and interning at schools all over, you found yourself at Abbott Elementary. Despite its hazards here and there, you loved it. You maintain your poise and passion for work each day, staying on task and doing everything you could to help. 

       Being the Vice Principal came with a lot of responsibilities, especially working for Ava Coleman. Over the school year, just like the rest of Abbott, you grew to love her—but that didn’t mean she didn’t give you a headache every week. “Can you not eat in your car for one day and just come with me to this brunch?” Ava begged, but you knew better. “Ms. Coleman, if you’re going on this brunch, somebody has to stay here. Besides, you’ll be fine. I’ve prepared your folder for you and you nailed rehearsals,” you encouraged her. 

       Ava was preparing for a brunch with some people from the district, and as much as you wanted to go and support her, you had to stay. “You’re right, I did kill that last rehearsal. I guess I’ll go alone,” the principal dramatized, and left for her lunch. Walking back, you decided to do a quick sweep before heading into your own office. No harm in checking on everyone, right? You passed Mrs. Howard’s door, noticing her students taking a nap. She saw you through the window, and the two of you exchanged smiles before you parted. 

        “Oh, hey Y/N! I had a question for you,” a small, but loud, voice was heard from behind you. “Hello Ms. Teagues, how can I help you?” You turned to greet her. “You know you can call me Janine, right?” The shorter teacher gave you a friendly smile, and continued.  “Anyways, I was thinking about doing a project with my students, they started this new book and are just loving it! Honestly I was a bit surprised, but I guess when the kids are with me-”

       “The question you had?” You interrupted her. As much as Janine had a soft spot in your heart, you had work to do and a lunch to half-eat. “Right, sorry. Do you think Friday we could use the library?” She asked, shooting you puppy dog eyes. “I don’t see why not. Let me touch base with our librarian that week and make sure, I’ll get back to you.” You answered. 

        “Yay! Okay, I gotta pick my kids up but, thank you!” She yelled as she started to pick up speed down the hallway. You shook your head and smiled to yourself as you continued your walk, but quickly stopped in your tracks. Melissa’s door was open. For whatever reason, Melissa was…different for you. You never interacted much with people from your work life, never have. With Melissa you still kept your physical distance, but that didn’t stop the thoughts in your head that always came back to her. 

       Nervously, you leaned against the door frame and took in her room. She sat in her chair at the front of the room, book in hand, reading to her class. Every few sentences she would pick her head up and glance at her students, and each time you got nervous she would catch you staring. “The vine was alive! It was a long green snake! The snake fell from the tree, it splashed in the water and swam away,” Melissa read aloud. You watched as one of her students stood up from their seat. “Does the snake get Jack? Or Annie?” He asked. “I don’t know hon, that’s why we have to keep reading,” Melissa said to him, and motioned for him to sit back down. 

        “Sorry Ms. Schemmenti,” he apologized, albeit quietly. “That’s alright, I know reading can be very exciting. But let’s regroup, okay?” She regained everyone’s attention so quickly, and you couldn’t help but watch in complete adoration for the woman. You completely missed two teachers walk right behind you. Melissa went to go back to reading, but her head snapped back up immediately as she saw you standing. She waved for you to come in, and continued on. You sat there for the next few minutes, until it was time for her students to go to lunch. “Jacob is coming to get my kids, give me a minute and then I wanna talk to ya,” Melissa said to you as she stood up to get her kids ready. 

         You couldn’t help but study her every movement, the way she walked, the way she bent down to talk to the kids, everything. She had you wrapped around her finger like it was nothing. Melissa was, without a doubt, the highlight of your day. Every day. “So,” she started, pulling you out of your trance. “I need the library on Friday. I’m getting my kids ready for the science fair this year and I wanna try some bigger stuff with them,” she said. You could see the excitement practically glowing off of her as she told you about her plans. How could you say no? “Yeah! That sounds great. If I have time, I’d love to come see what you guys end up doing,” You told her. 

       “Yeah hon, you should swing by. I’d like that,” She responded. You tried desperately to ignore the way your heart pounded when she called you that, and went to make your exit. “It’s a plan. I have to get back to work but, I’ll see you around, Melissa.” She waved goodbye to you, and you went back to your office stomach full of butterflies. 

       Melissa wasn’t far behind you, although she was going in a different direction. She grabbed her things and headed towards the break room for her own lunch. “I’m not saying I don’t like her! I really like her, I just think it’s strange she still won’t call me Janine.” Melissa heard a voice she tried to ignore. She smiled or waved to those around, and made her way to sit down and eat. “She calls all of us by our last names, even Ava. She’s not social with us either, one time I think I saw her working and eating in her car. Are we not fun to be friends with?” Jacob frantically asked. 

       “No,” Melissa said in time with Ava, who was just walking in. “Are y’all talkin bad about my little helper?” She asked. Melissa, against her better judgment, chimed in. “She’s the Vice Principal, not just your little helper.” Ava sported a cheeky grin, noticing how that got under her skin. “Whatever, anyways, I came in here to tell you actually that the library is yours on Friday,” The principal continued her conversation with Melissa, although Janine was quick to say something. “Wait, what? I just talked to Y/N, and she said I could have the library,” she said frantically. “No, I just talked to her, she said I could have it. Sorry kid,” Melissa retorted. “Just because you’re her favorite, doesn’t mean you should get privileges,” Janine tried to say quietly, but she wasn’t quiet enough. “I am not her favorite! She doesn’t have favorites, she doesn’t like any of us,” Melissa argued. She turned her body more towards the table in front of her and crossed her arms. 

       “Oh come on Melissa, you don’t notice?” Janine poked. When she got no response, everybody decided to help paint the picture. “She calls you by your name. Your first name,” Janine told her. “She gave you the library over Janine,” Jacob added. “I saw her outside your classroom for like, five minutes today,” Gregory finished. Melissa was too stunned to say anything, both at everyone noting your behavior towards her, and the fact that she missed all of this. You didn’t wanna socialize with everyone, but everyone didn’t mean Melissa. 

       “Okay, okay, I’ll go figure it out. Sorry,” The redhead shot Janine an apologetic look as she walked out the door once again. Melissa felt her palms get sweaty as she got closer to your office. Now that she knew about all her little privileges with you, she didn’t want to say something and ruin it. Besides, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, Melissa enjoyed the rare company you brought her. As she approached your door, Melissa took a deep breath in. After a quick mental pep talk, she knocked gently. Upon hearing your, “Come in,” she opened the door as slowly as she could. 

       Lifting your head to look at the door, your face lit up at the sight. “Oh! Hi Melissa, what’s up?” You asked her. Melissa closed the door behind her, and took a seat across from you. When she didn’t answer, you leaned in a bit closer and furrowed your eyebrows at her. Melissa couldn’t meet your gaze, and you hated it. “What’s going on?” You asked quietly. 

       “Why am I special?” Melissa blurted out. The both of you looked at each other, surprised at what she had just said. “I…I’m not sure what you mean by that,” you lied. “You told Janine she could have the library, and then went and gave it to me. You call me ‘Melissa’ but everyone else is last names only. And I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure I’m the only person you buy coffee for once a week,” the older woman explained. You felt cheeks turn as red as Melissa’s hair when she said all this to you, and now it was your turn to avoid eye contact. “Hon?” She pushed when you didn’t reply. 

      After a deep breath, you spoke. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it is about you Melissa but my god. From the first day I got here I…I can’t keep my eyes off you when we’re in the same room. I want to do everything I can to make your day easier or better or just to see you smile. Everything I do here is for you. You’re special, that’s it. And I like you that way.” When you finally looked back up, you saw tears forming in the green eyes across from you. 

        “You…you really mean that?” Melissa asked you, like she almost believed everything you said. “Yes!” You let out a defeated laugh, tears forming in your own eyes out of embarrassment. “Of course I mean it. What made you decide to bring this up today?” 

       Melissa shifted in her seat. “It was brought to my attention today, that I may or may not be your favorite,” she admitted. She tried to hide the smile that was forming, but it was clear she was happy to be your favorite person. You sighed, “Well, you are. I’m sorry that it’s affecting work now,” You slid your chair back a bit and started to mess with papers on your desk. “Woah woah woah, don’t get all sad on me now. I never said it was a bad thing,” Melissa said, reaching across the desk to stop your hand from moving another paper. You tilted your head in confusion, which led to Melissa giggling at you. She stood up from her seat and walked around your desk, turning your chair to face her.

       “I think I like being your favorite,” Melissa said in a much lower voice than you’ve ever heard from her. She rested her hands on either side of your chair, faces so close your noses were almost touching. You looked from her eyes to her lips, fighting internally which one to stare at. “Yeah?” You asked, so quietly you weren’t sure she heard you. Melissa nodded her head and when you did the same, she finally closed the distance and you were wrapped in the sweetest kiss you had ever felt. 

        After a few more kisses from Melissa, she finally pulled away. “I’m sorry it took me so long to notice,” She mumbled. You took her hands in yours and played with her fingers. “Don’t be, if anything I’m sorry it took me so long to actually do something about it,” You joked, which thankfully the older woman did find funny. “I think I was the one who did something about it,” Melissa corrected you. “Okay, fine. But either way, I’m glad you brought it up. Would you, maybe, want to kiss me again sometime? After dinner together?” Even though Melissa had just kissed you, you were so nervous about asking her out. 

      “I would love to, but I might kiss you before then.”

[june1109]

Honeysuckle’s and kisses don’t cover the devils scent

[part 1/?]

Chrollo x (Librarian!) Y/n

Description: Reader owns a Library in a small village on a tiny island. Chrollo is looking for a specific book to read. He goes to the library looking for the book on several occasions each time it was checked out on the upside (or is it?)he starts to take a liken to a certain librarian.

Backstory: Reader was a hunter but gave up on her dreams when she was 17 (She’s not a good fighter but does know a lot about nen) not wanting to waste the rest of her life she just decided to settle down and make memories in the village.

Warnings: !!!None so far just bad writing!!!

My fingers grazed over titles of books I knew by heart. I found the place the novel went and put the book about astronomy in its rightful place. I stood back up my oversized cardigan lifting from the floor. My feet sluggishly moved to the children’s section putting toys and coloring pages away until I heard the bell chime admittedly lighting my mood. A young stranger in an even stranger outfit.

(Change of POV)

There were finger puppets and pencils scattered on a tiny table. It piqued my interest but also worried me that this was a children’s library. A young woman approached me. Her hair [Unless you don’t have any :/] was (h/l) and a beautiful (h/c). She wore a big cardigan and pants that where too big and a little stained perhaps was paint or spilled food with a plain black top with pieces of white fur maybe a dogs but most likely a cat’s fur [he isn’t interested in her I just think that Chrollo would analyze everyone when he first meets them just to clarify].

“Hi, Can I help you with anything? I’m the librarian you can call me (Y/n). it’s a pleasure meeting you we don’t get a lot of visitors being the only village on a tiny unpopular island” She stuck her hand out it was littered with colorful bracelets and on the non dominant hand had additional doodles.I decided to accept the hand shake.

“My name is chrollo and I would like to check out a book called immortality is the Dilemma and savior of life.” [This is a book title I just made up but it’s basically about a vampire trying to escape the cage of immortality while a young man is hunting the vampire trying to gain mortality] I looked in her (E/c) reading them only to find nothing.

“Of course let me check if we have that for ya” (Y/n) walked behind the front desk entering the title.

“Oh shucks it looks like it’s checked out I’m so sorry, but would you like to stay for tea anyway?” I look down contemplating the offer of tea. I’m not busy and I have run out of tea and I am craving tea right now. I suppose it won’t be so bad.

“I don’t see why not” I sat down and a normal table unlike the tiny table across the library.

“What kind of tea would you like?” They probably don’t have many Judging by how small the town is.

“Anything is fine” I looked around the Libary more it was very small but not cramped. There was a kids section and they had computers. There was even a garden outside and a donation box. Oh how interesting humans are. Some are so generous well others are greedy and rotten to the core.

“Do you like milk and sugar in your tea?” Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“I would like a little teaspoon or so of sugar and no milk please and thank you” I smile softly to (Y/n). She is quite interesting.

I watched as leaves left the trees almost poetically as I waited. “So Chrollo where are you from?

“I’m just from a small island” I smile gently watching her face for anything.

“Really? That’s nice” We sat there for around an hour and a half having a decent conversation before screaming children in dragon onesies came stumbling through the door. There trainers rub dirt onto the carpet before walking in. This is quite a lively place for a Libary.

“Oh sorry I’m gonna go take care of those little dragons.” She sat down her cup. Straightening her shirt as she walked to the loud children with a general warm smile on her face [Y’all have a face right? If not L to you ig]. It made my heart warm seeing such kindness.

A/N

This is more of a pilot [which is why it’s so short] to see if I should actually write a story and if I’m any good because it would be my first so I’ll continue if this gets likes or someone suggests me to continue [which probably won’t happen]

[oddballwriter]

Lady Problems

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: The boys were happy to have you move in. They made it known that they wanted you to make a home with them as soon as you had gotten used to and seen everything about each other, both in the good, strange, ugly, and vulnerable. And there where no actual problems with you at all. But you did come with something that Marc didn't fancy too well. 

Warnings: None that I actually know of. There's a literal cat involved, and it does cat things. 

Author’s Snip: Yet another silly idea from my silly brain.

Notes: This isn't proof read. I wrote this last night in some weird type of "awake but the body's getting ready for sleep" like state and I just don't feel like proof reading so if there errors then suck it up /lh.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

The boys were happy to have you move in. They made it known that they wanted you to make a home with them as soon as you had gotten used to and seen everything about each other, both in the good, strange, ugly, and vulnerable. And there where no actual problems with you at all. But you did come with something that Marc didn't fancy too well.

Her name is Lady, and she was your pet cat.

Now, Marc doesn't hate cats. Even though he was more of a dog person, be it a big dog type of person. But a cat was fine. You fill their bowl, clean a box, maybe throw a toy around, and have them come to you when they want. It's not like he had a say anyways. You've had lady since you started living on your own. Plus, to tell you she had to go was like telling Steven he could have the Gus' anymore. Though, it seemed like Lady was the one to have a problem with Marc.

Marc doesn't know what he did to her since she always had this seeming distaste for him. And he knew that it was only him because Lady would let Steven and Jake pet her just fine and even purr while they did it. But anytime Marc touched her she'd either smack his hand, get up and leave, or let out a disapproving noise. There was one time he manage to pet her for a second but once he stopped he looked at him before cleaning off the spot he touched.

No. He did not need approval from a cat. But it seems like she was very opinionated on him and Marc felt a bit salty about it deep down.

That's why he dreaded it a little when you would be leaving town for a few days and leaving the boys and Lady to themselves. It wasn't a bad thing. You usually left them in charge of checking up on Lady before you moved in with them. But this was their first time actually being cat dad.

It was the second night of you being gone. Marc was laying in bed and about to actually fall asleep when he heard the jostle of a tiny bell. He turned his head to the side, opening his eyes and managed to make out the silhouette of something with pointed ears on the top of its head on the bed. It was dark and he could barely see through it but Marc knew that it was Lady staring right at him on your side of the bed. The cat let out a meow as she moved her footing and looking around the bed.

"Yeah. They're not home yet." Marc muttered, sleep having turned out some of his vocals. Lady let out another meow, almost like an acknowledgement to what he said. She turned her attention back towards him and moved a bit closer. Marc slowly moved his hand up towards one of her front paws and touched it, which she reacted to by pulling her paw away. "Yeah. It's me. I know you." he sympathized. "I'm probably the last person you want to wait for them to come back with." he chuckled.

Marc would have turned over to try and go back to sleep, till Lady pawed at his cheek. "What?" Marc groaned, "You were fed dinner already. And I don't want to see what happens when I feed you after midnight." he joked. Just then Lady plops down onto the bed where her head is against Marc's hand. Marc looks at her confused for a minute since she's never given any type of straight forward signs that she wanted him to pet her causing him to give a faint "What?" out of confusion.

After a moment of Marc just looking at Lady, and Lady rolling around in her spot a few times, he tested his luck and gave her little head a scratch. And to his surprise, she didn't do anything. "Oh, so you're just cool now? You're letting me do this now?" he said as he continued to pet her and watch for her reaction, to which there was none except her closing her eyes in approval.

The next morning was like the others. After eating breakfast Marc liked to lounge on the couch with his coffee for a bit to wait for the caffeine to kick in. Lady had made it to the couch and laid down next to Marc.

Marc reached over to pet Lady on her stomach but quickly got his hand smacked by her and she turned to a position that didn't leave her stomach exposed anymore. "Okay. We aren't at belly rub level yet. Got it." he remarked.

[starzgaze]

Hai Haii!

Random question: you know the Types of people as Animals?? ie. The black cat, golden retriever, golden cat, black lab, ext.

Okay so what type of person do you think Jinwoo, Thomas Andre, Liu Zhigang and Cha hae in are? (Add any other character too if you want)

Also here's a link to a uquiz that started this decent into madness ahhdbd :

https://uquiz.com/quiz/Hg8xGo?p=3738430

Or you can search -> Are you a Black Cat or a Golden Retriever? By miacathart

(I got Golden Cat as a result btw if your curious.)

Honestly no pressure. You kinda seem like your going through it so I thought this could be a silly thing to cheer you up, even for a moment.

cheers,

✒️ nonnie

HII ✒️ NONNIE and erhrhrh dw about me im just err... going through it TOT but nice to see you again www also you're a golden cat?? so like... orange... right... u and me r twins

anyway yeahh!! i know about that and i think i got like... golden cat or orange cat in some quizzes and i meaan yeah I'm low-key air headed something is in my head and its not my brain nonnie!!

oh I've thought about that i think like wayyy way back i think it's like widely accepted that jinwoo is a black cat and i mean... i also agree but not the fact his whole fashion sense is just black black black but there's symbolism here and there such as black cats are seen as a symbol of death or bad luck is looming over you, mostly negative symbolism or ties with death which is fitting for our shadow monarch

not to mention have you seen those cat videos in the internet? especially the black cat videos where sometimes they're basically liquid and merges with their surroundings if it's reallyyy dark? yeah that's jinwoo can't convince otherwise, also the attitude?? jinwoo is a teeny weeny atleast sassy atleast, it's funny though.

also he fits it over all vibe too, he seems pretty distant at first but once he warms up and garners affection for you he wouldn't leave you alone even if he seems a bit distant.

for thomas I personally think he would be a dog type but not particularly a golden retriever or black lab either, probably a different breed of big dog that's purposely high maintenance and difficult to take care but also fiercly protective and loyal just how he is. probably a great Pyrenees or dogs that's mistakened as a lion or some big animal lmfaoo

he's huge and wild bro!! a bit violent here and there but it was mostly out of survival for him and his guildmates. other than that though i imagine he's a lovable guy like probably really nice to hug and hang around with like a big dog, not to mention he sort of has the attitude of one if you squint.

okay listen to me with zhigang. that man is not any of the listed animals if I'm being fr... zhigang would be a rooster... hear me out

actually not really a rooster only i had some other ideas or for other animals but none of them were mammals and mostly birds soo, he would be a bird. zhigang's personality is PROBABLY extroverted and a bit loud but it's fine because its liu zhigang

he seems to be a morning person to me, being a martial artist enthusiast and all. it's part of his routine to wake up early and drag any unfortunate person to his morning exercise and stretches that is soul crushing from how painful it is. also don't even try to sleep through his first call out to you for the morning exercise, he will become your personal rooster so just you can accompany him.

cha hae-in.... i honestly think she's a white cat just to contrast jinwoo but she's more of an angel to be with in general or I'm just biased to girls... anyway she seems more aloof and quiet compared to an orange cat or any dog breed except for a few probably but to me she's a cat from just how she strut in those panels lmfaoo

she seems to be the type to just space out or listen to you quietly before giving her own advice. hae-in is also elegant like a white cat bro have you seen her move or act? she's so poise and pretty especially when fighting with a sword.

but also she acts like a cat with her quiet... judging eyes or maybe out of the blue truthful words like cats that literally just swats you for no reason, just like how hae-in is with her advice that sometimes seem too blunt at times. (probably a reason why jong-in doesn't let her deal with conferences) but she's a great friend to be with! gentle and kind like a white cat heuughh i love her cutie patootie she's a girls girl

okay last one i talked about this one with some people and I'm sure about jinchul being a dog type but i have some thoughts on what type he would be or what breed. now that I've thought more about it, shiba inu would fit him ya know? intelligent dogs that's known for saving it's owners from danger and calamities just how jinchul save hunters and try to protect them and alsoo sort of has a resemblance to them lmfao

but he also fits being a border collie! that dog breed is known for herding sheep and protecting stuff! the breed is alert, loyal, and intelligent soo yeah i can also see jinchul being this type of dog too lmfaoo but probably an older one too just seeing how low-key tired he is judging from in game dialogue you can see whenever you meet him inside of the lobby

he's protective and attentive so what's not there to love? he's soo pookie I'm gonna squeeze him into a pulp someone stop me

also extra my sister told me she sees jinwoo as a ferret and i mean.. i see it actually and all this animal personality talk made me wanna do a hybrid au with these cutie pies i have ideas running in my head now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for defending my friend lying about his dog dying?

Cw for animal abuse and Is ableist language (using sociopath as synonym for bad person)

I was in a friend group of three. Me (24f) my best friend since age 7 (24m) and we have a mutual friend he met in college when he moved away and has known for a little over a year (23f). Callin' them Liam and Rory for ease. Liam had an Esa (not a service dog, an esa). His whole life has revolved around this dog since we were 16 and he moved away. He keeps a very strict schedule with this dog. We are all aware of it because he will leave group chats mid conversation to make sure "Buddy" gets walked or fed or whatever time it is. He takes really good care of this dog and hand-makes its meals and takes it to the vet every 2 months.

Few weeks ago he was acting weird but trying to cover it up. I had been meaning to ask what was going on more privately but I kinda dropped the ball because my aunt died suddenly.

Flash to a week ago Rory sent a huge wall of text to our group chat calling Liam a barrage of names like "sociopath". It turns out that his dog died but he'd been acting like everything was the same which is why he seemed off. She found out when she came onto his property to check on him and he had to "confess."

Shes upset at him for lying but I knew there was more going on. So I talked to him about it privately over the phone and he just shattered. He had no idea what to do or say because he thinks his dad killed Buddy but he doesn't have direct proof. I had never heard him cry before this, because he was raised to really keep that stuff close to his chest. He's tried to open up to me over the years but it's visibly difficult for him especially with how his father still treats him. I believe him because if he truly wanted to manipulate me I still do not think he would have let me see that. He kept apologizing and sounding really lost and ashamed so I really don't think it was an act, you can't fake that kind of helpless abused kid feeling.

I forgave him for keeping it from me because it was obvious he was going to tell us once he processed the situation because that's a lot to say the least. I explained what happened to Rory and said sure maybe it wasn't 100% in the right but he was obviously expiercing trauma and him acting like everything was fine wasn't about hurting us, and we knew something was wrong but didn't ask, she thinks he's trolling for sympathy and that if I forgive him it tells her everything she needs to know about what kind of person I am. And says if he really thinks he dad killed his dog he would have called the police.

There are several reasons he shouldn't call the police one being that his dad has always treated Laim really badly but we never thought he would kill a dog and my friend has to live with him because he's a broke college student. She said he should have figured that out on his own but instead he manipulated us and is now trying to make us feel bad that he got caught.

I also feel like he was in danger from his dad and if he told us Buddy was gone he'd have to say why and then he'd be lying to us anyway until he figured out what the hell happened or if it was safe to tell us. We don't have enough information so I just don't think it's fair to totally write him off as a bad person over what is obviously and extremely traumatic situation? Without even talking to him? She found out Buddy was dead, left and refused to speak to him before announcing her departure from the group and blocked him on everything and basically made me choose between her or him.

I told her that was a really heartless take and that she's over reacting and she told me if I wanted to be best friends with a sociopath that was none of her buisness but she wanted nothing to do with either us because I'm just as bad as him if I don't agree with her so she doesnt loose anything by cutting me off.

She really made me feel like I was helping Liam hide a body. So I'm wondering if she's right. I don't think I'll change my mind, I won't abandon him but I am willing to admit I was wrong if I am.

Am I the assshole for sticking by him?

What are these acronyms?

[whositmcwhatsit]

Save Me

Written for the prompt: How are we going to solve this problem?

1976 Elvis in a leather coat for my beloved @vintageshanny This one got away from me, there's so much more to come!

@thatbanditqueen, @be-my-ally, @missmaywemeetagain, @ellie-24, @from-memphis-with-love, you are the best, funniest, kindest and most awesome people.

The air shimmered and glittered across the tarmac of the highway, promising oases, lights and civilisation, all of which would turn out to be mirages, as Cindy had discovered after walking five miles in the unrelenting searing wind wearing cowboy boots. The lukewarm can of coke she had been nursing the entire way was bone dry now and she had to admit that she was beginning to panic.

It made no sense, this highway was usually jam packed with people heading to and from LA for the  weekend, but there had only been a smattering of traffic heading in either direction, and none of the hoity toity rich folks had apparently felt inclined to stop for a dusty, sweaty woman standing by the side of the road.

No one at home would even realise anything was amiss before Monday when she was supposed to be at work. They’d probably call home to find out why she was missing her shift, and her dad would think she was pulling a sick day and cover for her, not knowing… God, she was going to end up being eaten alive by buzzards. She squinted up at the sky, paranoid that she could see shadows circling overhead.

The cream car slid through the glimmering haze like it was heaven sent, its gold-plated grille and finishes adding to the surreal quality as it sped on, looking like it was going to rush past her in a fog of sand and exhaust fumes like all the others. It was heading in the wrong direction anyway, she told herself. Though there was no wrong direction away from death by overheating and scavengers.

The sound of tyres skidding in grit behind her made her turn and she saw the car had stopped a couple of hundred yards up the road. She paused, surprised, then broke into an anxious jog, almost sliding over in the roadside dust, her boot soles worn to slipperiness.

Coming to the driver’s window, she hesitated as, instead of the usual well to do middle aged couple or family, she came face to face with a car full of men. They were all wearing sunglasses and, frankly, unwelcoming expressions.

“Uh, thank you for stopping,” she mumbled, her tongue dry and oversized in her mouth. “I was starting to get worried.” The moustachioed man at the wheel just stared at her from behind dark brown lenses.

“Where you headed, honey?” asked a soft voice in the backseat. She frowned, shooting a last look at the blank faced driver before side-stepping to the window behind. She blinked rapidly, sure that what she saw was the result of dehydration, heatstroke and probably the remnants of the acid she had ingested at the beginning of road trip yesterday.

“Uh, well, I was heading back to LA,” she managed, nodding her head in the opposite direction, “but right now I’d settle for a ride to the nearest town with a phone.”

“You got car trouble?”

“In a way,” she shrugged, not wanting to go into her pathetic predicament with him, of all people. She didn’t miss the way that the other men in the car were looking at each other, sharing some sort of communication, and it made her question how desperate her situation really was. Maybe she could wait for the next car…

“You know, my guys here think that we should’ve driven right on by you. They said you could be dangerous like one of those Manson chicks. You know what a honeypot is, darlin’?” She could hear someone sniggering inside the car.

“I’m not anyone’s chick,” she retorted, rubbing sand out of her eye. “And definitely not that psycho’s. Look, thanks for stopping, but I’m fine.” She stomped off, heading back to where she had been standing.

Wrapping her hands around herself, she tried to force her heart to stop pounding. She would be fine, someone would come along, a nice family with a dog she could pet. It would all be fine.

She clenched her jaw as she heard a car door click shut and then heavy footsteps crunch towards her.

“Goddamn, it’s hot,” said Elvis Presley as he stopped at her side wearing a knee length leather coat fastened and belted in the California desert. He must’ve caught her look because he hiccupped a laugh and glanced down at himself. “Well, the car has air conditioning… A-a-and not all of us can look as good as you do in little shorts, honey.” She snorted in spite of herself, feeling her shoulders drop slightly.

“Look, I was only teasin’ before,” he said, adjusting his sunglasses and jutting his jaw pensively. “You’re a good girl, I know. I can tell that about you. I have a sense for these things.” She glanced over at the car and the two big, older guys who were leaning against it, arms crossed to show off their shoulder holsters. “And them- Well, they all do and think what I tell ‘em to, so…”

“I think I’ll be okay,” she murmured. “I’m probably better off waiting for a car going the other way anyway.”

“You’ll be waiting a while, sweetheart, Highway Patrol closed the road about twenty miles that way.”

Well, that explained that.

“Oh God,” she groaned, bending forward at the waist and just dropping like a rag doll until her hair poked into the top of her boots. “Why is this happening?! Wait, if the road’s closed, how come you’re here?”

Well, it’s closed for the public,” he answered, like this explained everything. At her questioning look, he pulled a wallet from the pocket of his coat and flashed her a shiny silver badge. “I ain’t the public.” Her eyebrows knitted tighter together and, after a moment, she reached out and pinched his arm.

“Ow!”

“Sorry, this is just really weird. I had to check.” He smiled, but it took him a minute and he was still rubbing his arm like she had stabbed him rather than given him a little pinch. “You are Elvis, right?”

“Last time I checked, but keep your voice down, honey, I’m travelling incognito.” He gave her a wink and she found herself smiling even though she didn’t know why. “Now, look, let’s get in the car before I melt like a goddamn snowman and we can figure out how to get you where you need to go on the way.”

“On the way to where?”

“My house in Palm Springs.”

As she was deliberating, another fancy car pulled up alongside the cream Cadillac station wagon and a smaller, lean man with a moustache hurried out of the driver’s seat to them.

“Hey, what’s going on, why are y’all by the side of the road?”

“Just rescuing, er- What’s your name, honey?”

“Cindy.”

“We were just rescuing Cindy here. This here’s my cousin, Billy. He might look like a marble-eyed sonovabitch, but-” The other man, Billy, gave Elvis’ arm a punch, but even Cindy could see that there was barely any force behind it, and certainly nowhere near what Elvis retaliated with. Both men burst into laughter, though Billy’s seemed pained.

“I can’t ride with you,” she tried one last time. “There isn’t any space for me, your car is full.”

“Huh, you’re right. How are we going to solve this problem? Hey, Sonny, Red!” The two big men looked over, straightening. “You guys ride in the Stutz with Ricky and David. Billy and Jo are coming with us.”

“Hey, E,” the dark haired one started in a disgruntled voice. Cindy didn’t miss the way that Elvis’s face snapped towards him and whatever expression he had put an end to the complaint.

“I’ve been defending myself from little girls for over twenty years, man, I’m sure I won’t have any problems here.” Lowering his voice, he finished so that only Cindy and probably Billy could hear, “Don’t exactly think I wanna defend myself anyhow.”

Travel arrangements made, Cindy followed Elvis’s broad back on her way back to the Cadillac. She questioned what she was doing, wondering what he was expecting from her in terms of gratitude. Then she shook her head. This was Elvis Presley, after all, he was probably dripping in beautiful models, he didn’t need to pick up damsels in distress by the side of the road to get lucky. He looked different to how she thought though, heavier for sure, that leather coat seemed uncomfortably tight, pale too, and his hair looked like it hadn’t been combed. Of course, she was in no position to judge since her skin had acquired a new layer of dirt and dust and her hair was ratty from sleeping in the van the night before.

The car was deliciously cool as promised, and she sighed as she climbed into the soft leather back seat. Elvis managed to summon up a cold bottle of Mountain Valley spring water and his mouth quirked at the corner as she moaned a little gulping it down.

Billy and a dark-haired woman, who was apparently his wife Jo, sat in the front seat, leaving them alone in the back. It was quiet at first. Cindy gripped the glass bottle in her hands, savouring the cool surface against her hot, sweaty skin. She shifted slightly on the seat, hoping that she wasn’t marking it with her grime. It figured that she would finally meet her first famous person looking her absolute worst.

“So, uh, what happened to your car?” Elvis asked, turning a little so that he was inclined towards her. Her eyes fell on the three- three- thick gold chains around his neck that rested in the dark hair on his chest, disappearing beneath the lapels of his leather coat and the light blue tracksuit jacket was wearing underneath. She blinked and looked back up at his face.

“Well, nothing. It’s still at home back in the city,” she replied. “I- uh. See, I was out in the desert with some friends… camping.” She nodded, yes, ‘camping’. “And there was a misunderstanding between me and one of my friends. She thought I was into her boyfriend and she got mad and- They left me behind.”

“But you weren’t?” he asked. She was looking into his eyes, partially hidden by the tinted lenses of his sunglasses, and asking herself why the hell she was laying out the events of her pathetic life to Elvis fucking Presley. She lifted her eyebrows questioningly. “You weren’t fooling around with your friend’s boyfriend?”

“No,” she demurred. “No, he’s an idiot.” Elvis grinned and nodded, which somehow made her smile right back without thinking about it.

“You’ve had yourself an awfully bad day, haven’t you, Cindy honey. I, myself, have not been having a great day either. Kinda lucky of us to cross paths out here in the middle of nowhere, don’t you think?”

“Why are you having a bad day?” she asked.

“Don’t matter now,” he replied, giving her hand a quick pat. “So, where d’you live in Los Angeles?”

It went on like that, him questioning her and Cindy answering before returning the question back to him. Sometimes he’d answer, but most of the time he would just ask another question. She felt like she was being interviewed for a job she hadn’t applied for.

As the car drew up to a low, white Spanish style house, she was beginning to wonder if she might want the job after all, whatever it was.

Billy opened the car door and Elvis climbed out with a grunt, reaching out a hand to her. It felt like climbing out of a carriage, only she was the regular Cinderella before the fairy godmother had shown up, all covered in dirt and ashes. His fingers curled around hers, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand, and he didn’t release it once she was by his side.

“So, here we are, little honeypot,” he said with an endearing smirk, “come on in.”

Stepping into the house was like walking into a meat locker after the heavy, dry heat of the afternoon. She wanted to pause and bask in it, but Elvis still had hold of her hand and he was not stopping. He gave her the tour, introducing her to the cook, while the other men arrived in the black car and there was a flurry of activity, cases and bags being deposited in the foyer and quickly whisked away.

The whole time, Elvis was walking around, talking about views and telling her a funny story about the time a photographer tried to climb the canyon to get pictures of him in the backyard and he and the guys scared the man so bad that he dropped his camera down a steep incline.

“Bought him another one, of course,” he shrugged with a small smile. “Still, taught him a lesson about being sneaky. Can’t stand sneaky sons of bitches, just come and ask me if you want a picture, don’t- don’t be all underhanded about it.” He stared off out the window at the rocky canyon beyond and she watched and waited, wondering if she was supposed to respond. Finally, he gave his head a little shake and flashed a grin at her, looking at her sideways. And that moment was over.

“So, I’ve been thinking, Cindy honey,” he began, leading her to an upright chair by the window and gesturing for her to sit down. “About you having a bad day and me… And it seems like there’s more to this than meets the eye, I think what we have here is a touch of divine intervention.”

Mouth open, she parsed his words, trying to understand what she was being told. She didn’t.

“Ain’t no way we should have met, you being a little girl pretty much as far from Beverly Hills as you can get and me not going nowhere else, but somehow we did meet. I saved you, and maybe… maybe you can s- you can help me… too.”

“Well, what do you need help with?” she asked. He grinned his famous lopsided smile, reminding her that she was sitting in front of a musical legend, one of the most famous men on the planet, just like he was a regular person.

“Well, for one thing, I don’t like being on my own much and- and my date for the weekend kinda flaked out.” He huffed an awkward, endearing laugh. “You think you might wanna hang around, honey?”

“Well, I have to be at work on Monday,” she said dubiously, feeling a pang at the way he was looking down at her, like she had power.

“I’ll get you to work on Monday,” he replied emphatically. “I can promise you that.”

“But I don’t even have any of my things,” she murmured, thinking out loud. “I left them all in the van and-”

“I’ll get you whatever you need.” He raised his eyebrows. “Anything else? C’mon, while we’re on a roll, throw something else at me, honey.” She laughed, giving his hand a squeeze that he returned.

“Can I use your phone?”

“You got a guy you need to call?” he asked flatly.

“Sorta,” she shrugged. “My father- he’s sick and I don’t like to make him worry about where I am.”

“My daddy’s been sick too,” he murmured, “but he’s getting better.”

There was such determination in his voice that she felt like she had to nod back like she was convinced.

He took her into his bedroom, which she knew must look out over the pool from the layout of the rest of the house, but the curtains were already pulled tightly closed and it felt, if possible, even colder in this room.

“You can make your call in here,” he said, squeezing her shoulder as she perched on the edge of the bed next to the phone. “No one’ll bother you. I’m just gonna make some arrangements, deal with some things. I’ll be back.”

She watched him leave, pulling the door closed behind him, and reflected on the weirdness of everything that had happened in the past few hours. She reached for the phone, but stopped.

As far as her dad knew, she was camping with some girls from work. It had been hard enough to reassure him that she would be okay doing this. If she called him now and said that not only had those girls ditched her in the middle of nowhere, but that she had been picked up by Elvis and whisked away to this house in Palms Springs… Well, he might have the stroke that was going to finish him off, the one they had been warding against for five years.

There was a tap at the door and it opened before she could respond, but it was not Elvis. Jo, the woman married to his cousin, was standing there looking at her like she was a naughty child who had refused to tidy her room.

“What size are you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Size. I’m guessing a…” Her eyes flicked up and down with disinterest. “A six?”

“Four on the bottom half,” Cindy returned. “Why-“

“Shoes? What shoe size are you?”

Baffled and feeling a little bit harried, Cindy gave her the information she asked for, wondering if the woman was lending her some clean clothes or if maybe Elvis Presley of the famed pelvis, who reduced women to screaming, creaming morons with just a jiggle of his leg, had a special wardrobe for all his conquests.

“Okay, so you need to shower,” the older woman continued, directing her to a bathroom away from the bedroom. “Everything you need is just in here. Make sure you wash your hair, clean your nails, brush your teeth. Everything. He likes girls to be clean.”

What do you say to that? Cindy wondered, staring blankly as Jo repeated the instructions like it was normal, like this was an every day occurrence. To be fair, it probably was.

��Today is so weird,” Cindy murmured to herself as she stepped into the bathroom, holding the large, white terrycloth robe Jo had shoved at her. There were toiletries in a big basket, all brand new and unopened. Shampoos, conditioners, soaps and lotions. A toothbrush still in its packaging, razor, and hairbrush and combs. It was like visiting a hotel, an expensive one too, not just a roadside motel.

Turning on the shower, she spotted a little pink transistor radio on the vanity and she switched it on. She couldn’t shower in silence, she needed something to drown out her singing other than the noisy spray. Warbling along to whatever the DJ played, she did everything she had been told, scrubbing and rubbing and rinsing over and over until she finally felt like she had exfoliated the desert from her skin and her mind.

Wrapping the oversized robe around herself, she sashayed like it was a fur coat and she was walking past the velvet ropes at Studio 54, hoping to catch Jagger’s eye. She opened the bathroom door and stumbled back with a muffled shriek when she found a man about her age standing outside. He had shaggy dark hair and was wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, which she appreciated.

“You done?” he asked, eyes sliding up her bare legs like a snail leaving a trail across a rock. “You brush your teeth? Clean your nails?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” she returned. “Yes, I brushed, I cleaned, I buffed myself to within an inch of my life! God!”

“All right,” he shot back. “I was just checking, because the Boss likes girls to be-”

“Clean, yes, I’ve got it.” She was starting to wonder whether it was Elvis or Howard Hughes who had picked her up.

The man directed her back to the living room, which was dim and shaded now with the curtains pulled across most of the windows against the late afternoon sun.

“Just wait here for a minute,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Cindy shifted from bare foot to bare foot, looking up at the low, sloping ceiling and the immaculately clean fireplace. Her eyes fell on the coffee table and the thick stack of bills placed neatly there.

She wandered over as if called, eyes bugging when she saw that the pile was topped with a hundred. If they were all hundreds, there had to be five thousand dollars there, easy. She thought about all the hospital bills that kept coming to the house, red overdue stamp looking like blood. Then she thought about her dad finding out that she had stolen money to pay them.

Sighing, she forced her feet away from the coffee table and stalked over to the couch, throwing herself down. Having a conscience could be a curse sometimes.

A little while later, the door opened and the man himself finally appeared. He was wearing a short sleeve light blue leisure suit and his hair looked washed and blow-dried. He didn’t look well, she decided, but she couldn’t decide why that thought had popped into her head.

“You look like you’re being eaten by a cloud,” he observed with a little smile, exhaling sharply as he dropped onto the couch beside her. He nudged his leg against her, but didn’t seem to notice, almost like he couldn’t keep still. “You get everything you need, honey? You speak to your father?”

“Yes, thank you,” she lied.

It was probably a good idea to make him think that people knew where she was, she decided. He leant back, stretching his arm like he had a twinge in his shoulder and then resting it along the back of the couch behind her. She had to work hard not to giggle. It was like being back in middle school.

“Why d’you wear sunglasses indoors?” she asked, wincing at her words as soon as she spoke them. “Sorry, that was rude-" He laughed softly and shook his head; his arm slid forward slightly against her shoulders.

“No, no, it’s fine, honey. I, er, have to wear ‘em because I got sensitive eyes. The light messes with ‘em sometimes, that’s all.”

“It’s not very bright in here,” she observed, glancing around at the lengthening shadows around the room.

“Yeah, well, I- I kinda need ‘em to see as well,” he admitted, ducking his head. “Can’t see as good as I used to.”

“Oh, well, that makes sense.” His smile widened and she felt his fingers wrap around the top of her arm.

Sitting so close to him felt like sitting with her side to the Sun, he gave off so much warmth and also a sense of power, like he was the centre of the whole galaxy. He was stroking her arm with his fingers, and she could feel the rough end of his rings scraping the folds in her sleeve and she shivered.

He smirked and, despite the fuller face and the beginnings of a double chin, she could see the man who had made her feel tickly in her tummy during the Saturday matinees her dad had taken her to. She was looking into his eyes through the pinkish tinted lenses of his glasses, their faces drawing closer, when there was a tap on the door.

“Goddamn it,” Elvis muttered under his breath, probably louder than he thought he was. “Come in!”

Billy appeared with several bags, seemingly oblivious or indifferent to Elvis’ obvious annoyance.

“Here ya are, got what you asked for,” he said, lifting the bags.

“Well, just leave it by the door,” Elvis snapped back. “And why the hell d’you leave this cash here? You just throwing my money away now, man?”

There was a weird note in the exchange that Cindy couldn’t quite figure out, but Billy gathered up the money without argument and left, dropping the bags by the door.

“Families, huh,” she observed as he huffed an exasperated sigh, his round stomach rapidly expanding and deflating. “Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.”

“Yeah, so they tell me,” he returned, shooting the door one last look of annoyance, before turning back to her. “You know, I just wanted to say thank you, Cindy honey.”

 “For what?” Grabbing a ride? Taking a shower?

“For staying. It’s real nice of you."

Her mouth twisted into a baffled smile as her brain puzzled over whether she had heard him right. He did know who he was, right? He rubbed her arm over the terrycloth sleeve and twisted towards her. Her eyes dropped to his lips and, though they looked a little dry, they were plump and inviting. Soft too as he pressed them against hers.

It was a chaste, sweet kiss, he didn’t even try slip her any tongue. Cindy never made it to a dance in her sophomore year, but she imagined this was what it would have felt like. She reached up to hang her fingers from his neck, surprised again by how warm his skin was. The hair at the nape of his neck was damp with sweat and his breath wavered as she ran her thumbs curiously through his long sideburns. They felt soft and coarse at the same time and she couldn’t explain how.

“Yeah, I think someone or something has put you in my way for a reason,” he murmured, eyes fixed on her lips as he pulled back. She could feel herself begin to broil under his gaze. He pecked her lips again, pressing his weight against her. “Let’s get you ready, honey.”

Elvis led her around by the hand like she was a cross between a little child and a delicate princess. They went back into the kitchen where he told the cook that he wanted fried chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner, reminding her that the gravy wasn’t thick enough last time. He turned to Cindy, asking what she would like to eat.

“Aren't I having the same as you?” she asked. Asking for two different meals seemed… rude, somehow.

“Oh, honey, you don’t have-” He ducked his head and smiled. “She’ll have the same, just a regular size, okay?”

The woman smiled at Elvis the way that most women smiled at him, indulgently and kind of wistful. It was a strange thing to experience and then to see.

“Okay, lil honeypot, let’s get you dressed and ready for dinner,” he said, throwing a smile over his shoulder as he led her back to the bedroom.

The bags that Billy had left in the living room had been transported here and Elvis gestured to them. She peered inside, finding a white dress, underwear, and even shoes. She hadn’t worn so much white since her mom passed and her dad had turned everything grey with a misplaced sock when she was ten. She hesitated, wondering if he wanted her to put on a show, to earn them, but after she had waited for several minutes, he lifted a hand to the adjoining bathroom and motioned for her to go.

Wavering on the white, naturally, platformed heels, she tottered back into the bedroom where Elvis was reclined against the pillows reading a book. He glanced up over the top and gave an exaggerated double take.

“Who’s this sweet lil angel who’s showed up in my bedroom?” he asked, dropping the book on the bed and clambering up.

He crossed the room to her a little unsteadily and suddenly threw his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She could barely breathe with how close he was holding her, his arms pinning hers to her sides, his stomach tight against hers, constricting her air. Even his thighs were hard against hers. She didn’t know what to do, so she lifted her arm as much as she was able to stroke the small of his back.

“You look so pretty,” he murmured, when he finally drew back, running his thumb over her lips in concentration. “We’ll get Jo in here to do your make up and you’ll be perfect.”

“I can do my own make-up,” she insisted, not wanting to be a source of irritation for the other woman yet again.

“No, honey, Jo knows how to do it the way I like it,” he replied, biting on his lip before leaning forward and kissing her, lingering on her lips this time, almost as if he wanted to deepen the kiss but lost his nerve. “I want you to look like you’re all mine.”

He ducked his head down bashfully in the way that she was already getting accustomed to, but this time there seemed to be more of a purpose to it. She glanced down too when she felt him fumbling with her wrist and she watched as he fastened a thick, heavy gold ID bracelet around it. On the front, Elvis was spelled out in large diamonds.

“There,” he mumbled, sounding self-satisfied. “Now everyone will know you’re mine.”

She didn’t know how to respond to this, not in a way that didn’t hurt his feelings, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. No, she was already feeling an overwhelming need to protect him, this much older, richer, more powerful man.

Jo didn’t really speak to her as she did her make up. Cindy could barely open her eyes with the weight of the eyeliner and mascara they had been coated in. She barely recognised the woman she saw staring back at her in the mirror, especially not when she lifted her arm to peer at the bracelet. Such a weird day.

The table was full of men at dinner, with only Jo and Cindy adding some much-needed female companionship. Elvis and the other men laughed and chatted through the meal, arguing and guffawing over old stories; stories that always seemed to feature Elvis doing something insane, dangerous and/or reckless and somehow getting away with it. He grinned at her at every conclusion, looking pleased with himself and she tried her best to look impressed and amused.

Cindy understood what Elvis had meant when he instructed the cook to make her meal regular-sized. He and the rest of the men devoured prodigious amounts of food and it felt like dinner went on for hours waiting for them to finish.

As soon as she put down her knife and fork, Elvis reached over and clasped her hand with his, maintaining that hold even as he was eating and talking to everyone around her. It was like sitting with a spotlight on you, seen but unseen, valued but ignored.

After dinner, Elvis led her over to the piano. A couple of the guys, one of the large ones with all the guns, and a small one, picked up guitars and perched on a footstool and the sofa around him. He insisted, though there was barely enough room, that she sat next to him on the piano stool. She leant into his side, trying to maintain her balance.

“What d’you wanna hear us sing, Cindy honey?” he asked, like she would be fine with that, like she would casually accept Elvis Presley asking for requests.

“Lawdy Miss Clawdy?” she asked. It was one of two Elvis songs her father had played her religiously on a Saturday afternoon when they needed to jump around and use up some energy.

“Aw, that’s so damn old,” he remarked. “Can’t you think of nothing from this century?” He hiccupped a small laugh, which his guys echoed far louder, but she could sense that she had upset or offended him somehow. Probably by making him feel that only his old songs were the best, she guessed. She had hurt his feelings.

“You should sing what you want to sing,” she said quickly, rubbing his jiggling knee. “Anything you sing will blow me away.”

The smaller guy with the guitar suggested ‘Love is a Many Splendored Thing’, but before he had even finished his sentence, Elvis was pounding the keys of the piano in the very familiar introduction to ‘Lawdy Miss Clawdy’.

Everyone who had ever listened to an Elvis record always felt like he was singing directly to them. That was part of his magic and charm, but Cindy now knew that that feeling was nothing compared to knowing that he was singing directly to you. Her face was throbbing with heat as the blood rushed there. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, clasping them in her lap like she had to hold in her vital organs or she would die. He frowned over the piano as he sang, but every now and again, shot her a look from the side of his eye, his cheekbones round and prominent as he held back a smile.

As the last chords of the piano faded out, he cleared his throat, making fun of how much higher his voice used to be. Cindy clapped, ignoring the eyerolls and looks of derision that some of the men were throwing her. She had never been able to get to a concert. They usually sold out in hours and there was no way she could skip work to queue overnight and all day. So this was probably the closest she was ever going to get to seeing Elvis live, and she was making the most of it.

“Thank you, honey,” he mumbled, angling his face so that he could kiss her cheek. He grabbed her hand that was still clapping and brought it to his lips, giving her fingers a soft peck also.

Forgetting all the eyes, the uncomfortable shoes, the skimpy dress that made her shiver in the air conditioning, and the mask of make-up she was wearing, Cindy ducked forward and kissed him. She almost missed completely, catching only the corner of his mouth, but he rescued her for the second time that day, wrapping his arms around her, hot palms against her back and turning his head, sliding his tongue in to brush against hers. Maybe he was right, they could both save each other.

[nyaagolor]

SV Rivals Headcanons

I did it for team star so this feels only fair. Under the cut bc it's long

Arven:

He baby-talks to his pokemon but especially Mabosstiff. If anyone sees him doing it he will probably melt from embarrassment but it's Fine. He loves cooing at Mabosstiff and squishing its face and kissing its nose while making silly faces. "Who's a good boy" energy

He has dyslexia and is just so so so bad at traditional schoolwork. With all the work he missed he's failing all his classes, but is not really willing to ask for help because everyone knows how smart his parents are. That makes it hard for him because he thinks asking for help means disappointing them. This is especially bad with Clavell, since he's the one who talks about Sada and Turo the most (if Clavell realized this he would freak out tho, he cares about Arven a lot)

(points) inferiority complex. He's so used to being around overachievers that he's overly aware of his "shortcomings" and sees anything less than exceptional as a failure. Being compared to his parents all the time certainly doesn't help. He never gives himself credit for the things he's good at, and beats himself up too much over his mistakes. Boys who have low self-esteem to me

Related to the above points but oh man he NEVER admits when he's struggling. The cocktail of abandonment issues and low self-esteem means he feels the need to "prove himself" by never having visible issues and always working through things alone. He would rather die than cry in front of his friends. Luckily for him, everyone in Team Star is an expert at seeing through emotional facades and catches onto that pretty early so he has a support system that teases out all that buried nonsense and helps him work through it

You know those people who make food and share it with their dog? That's Arven. Mabosstiff is allowed to eat off Arven's plate whenever it wants, Arven spoils that dog rotten. They're rolling out of the Starbucks with a caramel frappe and a pup cup living their best life. Arven also bakes Mabosstiff a birthday cake every year, which is ironic because he doesn't make himself a birthday cake. Anything for Mabosstiff

I know canonically the 'raidon attacked wild pokemon but in my heart it attacked Arven, giving him a scar on his eye that he covers with his bangs. The reason the professor booked it to Area Zero without Arven is less because of the "oh they saw the 'raidon" part and more because 1. It hurt their son and they want to protect him and 2. If the League found out the professor was illegally keeping a mysterious pokemon who permanently scarred a child, they would definitely try and take it away which the professor is terrified of. They didn't explain this to Arven, however, who simply thought the professor abandoned him because they cared about the 'raidon more

Arven is very bulky and very strong. He can bench press more than anyone thinks, and is usually the guy to call if you need help lifting / carrying something. Despite his ability to snap your spine like a toothpick, however, she would much rather use his hands to help and not hurt. Boy who is so so sensitive and sweet

He loves to make cute little shapes with his food and has become absolutely enamored with the idea of bento boxes. Bunny shaped apple slices? Heart sandwiches? Sign him UP. His friends are more than happy to eat all the leftovers and scraps from his culinary experiments, so it's a win win for everyone

None of his pokemon are actually in pokeballs except for Mabosstiff, they're just free roaming. He'll call them when he needs them and they might stay in their balls for a short time, but overall they're more like work partners than pets like Penny's veevees. He managed to win all of them over with food, they just showed up at his picnics and followed him around. It's a good partnership, since Arven doesn't consider himself a traditional pokemon trainer anyway

He doesn't own any social media and is convinced all of Penny's terminally online speak is her trying to hex him. He's very content with this lifestyle and has no desire to learn anything about the web anytime soon. The benefit of this is that he hasn't seen most memes and subsequently finds them to be absolute goddamn riots. The "quieres" meme with a Maschiff was all he would talk about for days because he found it that funny

Nemona:

She is on the edge of her seat waiting for someone to send the "would you still love me if I were an Orthworm" meme to her. She figured out what her friends' natures would be based on their personalities and has a dozen page document detailing their new wormy battle strategy that she cannot wait to share

According to her, the reason she can't hit anything she's aiming for with a pokeball is because her family is descended from the King of Paldea. Because of that, they're subject to a multi-generational wizard curse where their arrows (and subsequently pokeballs) are destined to never hit their targets. No one can figure out if she's joking or not

I'm far from the first person to think this but this girl is autistic. Battling special interest, can't read the room, no volume control, relates everything to her special interest to understand it better, extremely bad at interpreting body language, fixates on tasks really easily, very often goes past her and others' limits without realizing, trouble relating to others, etc etc. Because of her obliviousness in social situations she often ends up being over-friendly to strangers and coming off far too strong, which scares people off

Genuinely, unironically does not realize her parents dropping her off with house staff and never seeing her is supposed to be a bad thing. Her friends are mortified to find out that her parents didn't show up to the League Ceremony when she became the youngest ever champion ranked trainer, but she's unbothered by it. Overall she's less sensitive to being ignored or forgotten or left by herself than any of her friends; she can vibe with solitude

She has a chronic illness. I have not thought too hard about which one but one of them, prolly related to nerve damage of some kind hence the arm brace. It leads to easy fatigue and some dull pain in her arm and shoulder, but the school doesn't know about it because she keeps conveniently forgetting to bring in the paperwork to Miriam. Dendra has her suspicions though

Ngl she gives school mascot energy. She's super energetic, genuinely loves the academy, and is hella tall which is basically a requirement for being the mascot. If she doesn't have the stamina for competitive sports she sure as hell is gonna cheer them on. Cue her rolling up to the bleachers in the most terrifying Pawmi fursuit you've ever seen in your life

Nemona is very very bad at having frank and straightforward emotional conversations but is absolutely SUPREME at cheering people up. Distraction queen. She isn't going to be able to address and solve your problems, but she can turn any bad day into a good one with some ice cream, a smile, and a positive attitude

Nemona doesn't know this but Arven doesn't like her (dw they get better). They used to be neighbors and would hang out as kids. At the time, Nemona wanted to be a pokemon professor-- she was chronically ill / fatigued so her parents encouraged her to talk to the Professor who lived in the lighthouse and maybe become a professor herself. Loving pokemon and being naturally curious, Nemona would talk their ear off for hours, but Arven just saw that as encroaching on the professor's super limited off-work time. He was pretty bitter that this other girl was getting more attention from his own parent than he was, not that Nemona ever realized that. But when the professor got the 'raidon, they became more reclusive, and Arven simply starting ignoring Nemona when she would knock on the door. It took a while, but she eventually got the hint, assuming they had moved or something and simply forgot to say goodbye. Arven is still mad about it all and finds Nemona obnoxious and overbearing, but she still thinks of him as a fond childhood friend, being none the wiser to his distaste for her. Eventually they get better

Her Pawmi / Pawmot was originally a therapy pokemon, intended to loosen any muscle spasms and help with the nerve-related pain in her arm. He's the pokemon she had the longest, but she didn't bother to train him for battle until recently

She's really bad at remembering people's faces, so she acts really friendly to everyone she sees to save herself the awkwardness of treating an acquaintance like a stranger. She also genuinely loves meeting new people and pokemon, so it's not really an act

Penny:

Penny doesn't really have a strong Galarian accent until she's yelling. She sounds like a native Paldean and then gets pissed and hits you with an "OI MATE" with enough psychic damage to kill a man

Her favorite ice cream flavor is "eeveelution sorbet" which is this giant rainbow mashup of flavor. It's lemon for jolteon, lime for leafeon, peach for sylveon, blue raspberry for vaporeon, orange for flareon, vanilla for glaceon, blackberry for umbreon and grape for espeon. Arven feels personally offended by its existence because "it's an insult to good cooking" and tastes like preservatives

In Paldea, "jelly" refers to the fruit spead, but in Galar, "jam" is the fruit spread and "jelly" is gelatin. Penny has been hearing Arven talk about "peanut butter and jelly" for ages now and is dead convinced that Paldeans just have shit taste. No one is aware of this miscommunication and just thinks that Penny hates fruit

Penny hacked the future paradox pokemon. She jailbroke Miraidon and can play compressed midi files on it and change the color of its lights. Future pokemon use super compressed files because things are better in the future and they don't need as much space, so Penny is currently working on getting past that limitation so she can play Doom on the thing

Good luck getting her to show up for class. She'll come and take tests, but god forbid it's a class that cold calls? She will literally never show up. Girl whose participation grades are Zero. Clavell does talk to her and authorize her to have Sylveon out of its ball in class because it's certified as a therapy pokemon, so its usually napping under her desk to help her cope with the anxiety of Being In A Classroom

Penny managed to convince Arven that blue raspberry is a real, albeit rare, Galarian fruit. He actually fell for it before Saguaro explained that she was lying to him. He still hasn't forgiven her for this

This woman vapes u cannot convince me otherwise. She has an eevee-shaped pen and always smells like watermelon. Luckily for her, miss student council president actually paid attention to those D.A.R.E lectures and read her the riot act when she realized what was going on, so she's being forced to quit and is a little bit grumpy about it. Giacomo is likewise disappointed in Penny's choices and has suggested she just switch to weed instead. Penny thinks this is a much more suitable compromise

Her eevee backpack is endless. Penny has pulled out snacks, flashdrives, a first-aid kit, a CD player, a toothbrush, Veevee treats, a cat-ear headband, and a taser from that thing within an hour. Anything you might need is probably inside whether or not it should reasonably fit. Hammerspace type beat

Geeta somewhat regrets hiring her. She does good work and the rest of the staff loves her, but she's also far less willing to put up with office bureaucracy things than any of the other staff and it's gonna give Geeta a migraine. One time Geeta asked Penny to work on a Saturday and she threatened to unionize. Larry thought it was so funny he bought Penny dinner. They're homies now

She can pick locks. Clavell is genuinely and rightfully terrified of her because they both know she can pick the lock to his office and completely wreck the school's security and financial system if you gave her a motive and a half hour

[androgynousblackbox]

Welcome to Hazbin Vale. Epilogue [Radioapple, Appleradio]

"And so, that is how it goes, my dear sinners! Our beautiful Hazbin Hotel is going to open its door to receive his Majesty King of Hell himself, Lucifer Morningstar!" The radio host reclined in his chair, letting his perpetual grin grow ever wider. The red lights above him declaring that he was on the air seemed to glow even more for a second, but no one on the other side would be ever to tell. After so many years, he had finally learned to control that damn static. For the most part at least. "It's truly an honor to receive him today and we hope that it doesn't end up on such a fruitless endeavor like his reign here has been, ha ha! Tune in next time for more hellish updates! Your good friend Alastor will see you all soon."

He turned off the microphone finally and stand up, letting a soft jazz tune to follow him around as he put on his coat. Humming along softly, he looked himself on the mirror for a moment. A few strands of hair stand out, but nothing that some brushing couldn't fix. His bowtie was perfectly centered. His smile was as deadly as always.

He grabbed his cane and sighed presenting his best pose, standing tall to show off the confidence that he absolutely, no doubt about it, had. Not a single nervous spec of cell on this entire display, no sir. No one would ever be able to tell what was going on inside of his head. Just another normal day in Hell for the Radio Demon himself.

Not at all wondering himself if maybe he had changed too much. If he was even recognizable anymore. If even if everything turned out exactly how it was supposed to, too much time had passed already for any of his hopes to have any point.

If he had wasted years expecting something that was never going to happen anyway.

Because that was a totally pointless thing to even think about, of course! The slight trembling of his hand as he fixed up the front of his shirt? A trick of the light, don't worry about it.

Taking a big breath, Alastor came out in direction to the lobby, where he could hear everyone moving about.

Thank god none of the sinners here was a party planner because they all would have been fired at their first job. Alastor doesn't know if he is more dissapointed on how bad did it look or in how much effort clearly still went into it. But oh well, he supposed that was to be expected from this group.

"That is great, everyone, it looks amazing!" encouraged a very clearly already stressed Charlie, indicating to Razzle (or Dazzle, one of the two) to fix a WELCUM DADDY sign up.

"Ssstop trying to grab one!" was saying Sir Pentious to the sneaky hands of Angel Dust, constantly trying to grab one of the pastries he had brought.

Alastor looked over where Husk was, casually drinking out of another bottle, but following Angel Dust attempts with the same attentive look of a bored cat.

Well, they were definitely together in the same space.

He had fulfilled his part of the deal and thankfully that whole thing was over. What they decided to do after that was completely out of their own volition and, frankly, he could not care less.

It had been truly a blessing in disguise that Charlie had already recluted one part of the pair before he ever spoke to her. All he had to do was bring the other with him and made sure he couldn't just ran away.

"Everyone, please, stay calm" said Charlie to no one specific, clearly needing a break herself as he clasped her own hands. "This no big deal, no big deal at all!"

"Hon, it will be fine" tried to reassure her Vaggie for what must have been the fifth time of the day. "If anyone can sell this hotel, it's going to be you."

Charlie smiled, grateful, but before she could say any more they all heard the door bell of the hotel. Alastor used one of this shadow to travel along with her to the entrance, standing politely close to the door, a respectable distance that would not look either desperate or impatient whatsoever, like some pathetic dog waiting for a treat. He was curious for seeing the king, as anyone else would.

But he still didn't even tried to open the door. Charlie didn't mind at all before she took a gulp of air. In fact, she probably haven't even noticed he was there.

"Hi, dad!"

"Charlie! It's so good to see you!"

Oh, well, this isn't fair at all, thought Alastor spitefully as he squished his cane behind his back, feeling again the rising of that familiar indignation.

Was it possible that he was even smaller now? How come that his eyes looked even bigger now? The red was definitely a good color on him. And who the fuck had the brilliant idea of giving this tiny man that sharp pointy smile, that was still somehow so warm when looking at his daughter?

He had seen pictures of him. This version of Lucifer was notorious enough that he would appear on fashion magazines from time to time, despite his reclusive nature. He had seen his wink at the camera, showing his slitted tongue playfully, had seen him even model for Asmodeous's fashion line one time or not.

The impulse of buying every single one of those images, so no one else could see them, and build his own altar out of them was there for a while, but he had managed to squandered it by sheer force of will. Truly, one of the most difficult test he had to endure. And yet, none of that had actually prepared him to seeing him in front of him. To actually hear his voice.

Who needed to breath anyway? Not him, that is for sure!

But the worst offense, the one he had to concentrate on to keep it together, was that hat. That stupid tall hat that was hiding his stupid perfect hair from view. The audacity! Clearly he had to be doing it to just annoy people as much as possible.

Charlie, the estranged daughter now, was doing her best to present the hotel without seemingly picking up how clearly not interested her father was. It was more than obvious that he had only come there at all for Charlie, to be around her, and her little side project was nothing he cared to think about too deeply.

In a way, it was weird seeing him like that. The Lucifer he knew at least pretended to be interested in other people out of a pure sense of politeness. But he imagined that it made sense that a king would not bother with empty gestures like that on his own kingdom.

Maybe the Lucifer he knew was truly gone now?

On this reality this tiny man was centuries older than him. He had lived a very long and eventful life completely on his own. He had never even put a single hoof in Earth. Everything he had experienced was far beyond what a simple toy maker on a small town could ever hope to see.

What could even be there about that Lucifer?

To say that the thought was crushing would be an understatement.

But if there was something he ever refused to be was a defeatist. He would have never reached the level of power that he was enjoying on that reality with a mentality like that. So grabbed that thought, cut his throat and buried it's body on the basement, just as he followed around as Lucifer kept going with Charlie's little tour with a much less than impressed expression.

"Well, it's got a lot of character! But what in the unholy hell is that?"

His opportunity to intervene.

"Oh, that is just some of the renovations we have done" said, transporting closer because somehow he knew he couldn't move his feet out of place. But still not too close, as if he didn't want to get caught on his orbit. Not yet at least. "Adds a little bit of color, don't you think?"

Lucifer looked positively annoyed at being talked to directly.

"And you are...?"

His heart had no right to jump the way it did as now he teleported to the side of the king. His head still reached just above his stomach so he was wrong, he was still the same height.

"Alastor, sir. Pleasure to meet you, quite the pleasure!" He took a step back to admire him full again. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name. I must say, you are lot shorter in real life."

The magazines pictures were never even close to make him justice, so that wasn't surprising either. He paid attention to Lucifer looking to Charlie for further clarification in who was the rude demon in front of him, not blushing at the sudden reminder of his height like he would in another life. Even his frown was different, more pronnounced, agressive. He truly did not care at all about appearing more approachable, did he?

"You might have heard of me from my radio show!"

He tried not to think too deeply about what it would mean if Lucifer did do that. That all of this time Lucifer had listened his voice and never once had a face either to relate to it or find anything especial about it outside of a mere form of entertainment. Just some white noise in the background while doing something else.

Luckily for him, Lucifer had not, which was still weird on itself. How out of touch was the king of hell himself to not know about one of the most notorious overlords in hell right now? They were all in the same ring. Was that some kind of classist attitude or something else?

"Well, on top of that, right now I am the host of this distinguished establishment that our dear Charlie is managing" added, brazing himself for potential disaster as he extended his hand forward. "The Radio Demon at your service, sir."

For a moment he was concerned that Lucifer would reject it or ignore it completely. His tiny toy maker had been an open book, and maybe because of that, he couldn't quite get a grasp of this man. But king of hell or not, Lucifer took one look to his daughter before taking it, rolling his eyes like this was such a big ask out of him.

The gesture seemed to froze in place at their contact. Alastor literally would not dare to move a muscle as he saw the expression of Lucifer gradually soften. By the time his red pupils looked up to him again, Alastor felt a wave of relief to see something else. Something that looked as fragile and lost like a bunny abandoned in a forest to it's own luck.

The man was looking at him as if suddenly had no idea of what to do or say.

"Alastor has been a great help around here!" helped Charlie out.

Lucifer blinked, disoriented, and Alastor regrettably let his hand go to brush at his blond hair. Was still as soft as it looked? Or it had become rough here in hell, like his hand had?

Alastor hated that is where his mind went. Hated that no doubt he was going to think about it again.

"Has he...?" questioned Lucifer, as if for a moment he had forgotten where he was. He looked over at Alastor again, squinting. "Is this the reason why this place is the Hazbin Hotel?"

Alastor's grin grew wider, realizing that none of them would truly understand that question. Not in the same way they did now.

"It was my idea" commented, now taking a step towards him.

Lucifer's eyes went up and down his figure and moved closer too, seemingly taking on the challenge.

"Well, that is not very clever, isn't it?" teased the king, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I beg to differ, your Majesty" answered Alastor, connecting his hands on the back to resist the urge to go touch him again. Maybe if they touched enough more of his toy maker would come out. It was an stupid idea, born of a stupid impulse, but it was a very tempting one. "I think it is a very good name."

"Do you now?" Lucifer got even closer, a little smile forming on his face, enjoying the game.

He did always loved games. That at least haven't changed. The warm that expanded over him at the realization made his shoulders relax. His voice dropped an octave, almost a whisper on that space that they had created. Soft enough to not break it.

"Absolutely."

Lucifer crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side. The pointy smile was a great look on him like that as he absent mindlely played with a lock of hair.

"You would know, I suppose."

"I do."

"Mmm."

He could have stayed looking at that little cocky smile for an eternity. Two if he got lucky.

"Um, dad? How about I present you to the rest of my friends?"

Idiot. He had completely forgotten what was the reason for that visit.

He cleared his throat and took a step back, pretending that he had lost interest on their... whatever it was. His hand gripped the top of his cane as he forced himself to calm down.

Lucifer still dedicate him one last look before turning to Charlie, letting her go through each other of the residents and staff.

Alastor couldn't help but to find amusing the way his eyes light up for a moment when it came to the turn of Husk and the slight frown when he heard the voice of Angel Dust greeting him. Did he remember far enough for that? Had he realized that was the Anthony of this reality? Or was just like the remmant of a dream, half forgotten, half remembered now?

That was something that he was also concerned about. Memories could be tricky things even on human minds that lived and died on a normal lifespan. But what effect could it actually have to add a entirely different existence on top of that one of the creator of hell? Could it hold on at all or it would vanish?

And even if he did remembered perfectly well, just as clearly as he himself did, there was no garantee that was really going to amount to anything. Not that he truly expected that it would, but the not knowing truly was the worst part.

--

By the end of the day, he was drained.

Between Mimzy suddenly appearing with a bunch of shark demons that he had to eat to protect the hotel and Lucifer getting swayed by Charlie into supporting her proyect, they didn't had any chance to exchange a word and he just felt cheated now.

Even their handshake seemed to have been far too short now. Thousands of years of waiting to see each other again and that was it? Why did he let it go at all?

The presence of that golden ring on his finger bothered him far more than what he would ever admit. Wasn't that thing with Lilith be finished already? Wasn't that a free man then?

Logically he knew that was none of his business. But what he knew on his head and what he actually wanted to do were two completely different stories.

For one, he shouldn't have let him just teleport away like that, without at least having a talk. But he didn't even know that was a thing he could do in the first place! No fucking magazine or newspaper had ever bothered to detail it. How many bullshit fallen angel abilities was hiding on that tiny body?

Not just that either. He had just reconnected with his 200 year old daughter after who knows how long and he didn't even think to staying for dinner? Just poof and until next time, kiddo. If Charlie wasn't annoyed by that, then fuck it, he was going to be annoyed on her behalf instead. Just what could be so important that he needed to get away as fast as he did and without even looking at him once? Did he had any care at all for the shit he went through in order to reach his hand? All the bodies he had to walk over to get to it?

And this time he couldn't judge him for it either, because he was already serving his time for it anyway.

Once inside of his room, he let the angry static fill the air as he took out his coat and got ride of his bowtie, each movement causing another cracking. He didn't know what did he expected, but it wasn't that, certainly not! He could leave a note or something! A promise of a another visit soon!

When he started to unbutton his shirt, that is when he heard it: a little tap tap against the glass door to his balcony. That immediately turned the static off as he got closer, confirming it further. That was peculiar. He wasn't near any tree for it's branches or leaves to ever bother him like that.

A insect, perhaps? Well, if it was big enough at least he could find some form of catharsis by crushing it himself. He moved the curtain away and looked up to see... a yellow bird.

In hell there were no yellow birds.

That alone was confusing enough until he realized the wite bird had a stupid tall hat on top of it's head and two red dots at the sides of his beak.

Ignoring the thunding on his chest, Alastor used every bit of his will to move the glass door out of his way as calmly as possibly and not desperately like the starving dog that he felt as.

"Hey" said the bird, flapping his wings towards his railing. One red poof later, Lucifer was sitting against it with an awkward smile.

Shapeshifting. Another fucking power he had no idea he had. Alastor saved that as another note on the back of his mind and smiled. Well, he always did, it was part of his brand now. But more sincere than before.

"Majesty, we have a front door if you ever need anything from us" commented, deciding to play it safe.

For now.

"Yeah... no, no, no, it's okay. I don't wanna bother Charlie for this" Lucifer looked so adorably, familiarly, lost that Alastor was pleasantly surprised. His tiny toy maker would have sported the exact same posture so many times before.

"And what this would be?" asked with fake innocence, walking towards him.

"Oh, come on" Lucifer sighed, the corner of his lips lifted in annoyance. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

"I don't understand what ever could you mean, your Highness" Alright, maybe he was enjoying a bit too much the teasing. He had a thousand years worth of it that he had to catch on. Yeah, that was going to be his excuse and not the fact he managed to see Lucifer blush, a hand scratching at his nape. Absolutely not the pure delight of knowing he could get those reactions out of him still. "Did we had any unsolved business you and I? I wouldn't have known with how quickly you left us. You seemed to be in a hurry."

Maybe he also just liked to be petty.

By now they were so close that he just had to extend his hand a little and he would touch him again. He would feel his stripped vest so easily if he wanted to. But his hand remained in place.

"Okay" Lucifer took a deep breath and let it go, both of his hand lifted to brush his hair back. When he looked up again, he almost seemed pained. "I am just going to ask this one time and then I will leave. Please, don't make a big deal out of it."

The smile on his face froze. Leave? Again!?

"Sure" said as if talking through nails.

Lucifer's eyes still darted around, hesitating. Alastor would have usually find that endearing in a nostalgic way, but now it was just making him even more impatient.

"Alright. So... this going to sound very crazy, but... have we met before?"

Alastor internally screamed.

Lucifer was confused. That was to be expected. Just suddenly having a bunch of memories out of nowhere in someone's head was bound to do that for that peson.

He knew that, rationally speaking. But more importantly, what was that talk about leaving if he did remember? Didn't he know already that was literally the worst thing he could do to him?

"Why?" said and he knew that was mean, and didn't care. He had done plenty of work already, he could do the rest for a change! "Did my face suddenly reminded you to someone you knew?" Lucifer looked again doubtful with himself, and he could not do it any longer. Fuck it. "Yes, your Majesty."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now if you want to talk about it we could come inside..."

Lucifer didn't let him finish his offering for a cup of coffe before he had lunched himself to his arms, wings out and all. It wasn't really that what shut up him quite as effectively as the fact that he was kissing him like his life depended on it. Instinctively he had grabbed the tiny king by the waist.

When they separated for a moment, Lucifer just about as surprised as he was. He seemed to be waiting something out of him, to him being pushed aside or anything.

Alastor simply stared at him back, knowing full well that falling from the side of his own mouth was drool.

But the stillness lasted just one second before Lucifer grabbed him by the front of his vest, forcing him to his height as he walked foward and Alastor backwards inside of his room, until his shin touched the side of his bed and he fell on top of it.

"You like it when I am more active" gasped Lucifer, pushing him all the way until his back was against his covers with one hand. Alastor gulped when he saw the black claws burying themselves on the fabric over his chest, just above his heart. "That I remember."

"Yes" said in a sigh. Tentatively he lifted a hand to wrap it around the wrist of Lucifer and went up, not intending at all to fight the pressure, but just wanting to feel the muscles of his arm. Knowing that those muscles were probably a lot stronger than they were ever when he was human was doing things to his body that he haven't known it could do in ages. His tiny toy maker was decisive and confident in these situations, but this Lucifer could kill him if he really wanted to. They were both as aware of that as of the fact that it wasn't going to happen. The risk of it was still intoxicating. "What else do you remember?"

Lucifer smiled, wide and mischiveous and absolutely beatiful as he quite literally ripped his clothes out of him like some savage beast.

Somewhere inside of his mind Alastor lamented that now he was going to have to go to the tailor again, but that mild voice was quickly drown out when Lucifer came down to kiss and nibble at every portion of skin he had exposed. The sensation of sharp teeth against his neck was something new he didn't knew he was missing until now.

"Alastor."

The way Lucifer would moaned his name had forever being engrained on his brain, worse than any prayer could. But his wings were so big that they created a shadow on top of him, breaking the illusion that they were back on their little town, back on a Earth, passing another afternoon together.

He understood now that this Lucifer was always going to be inherently different. He was never going to be the same toy maker that he had missed for thousands of years. But as long at least this Lucifer was his, he would take it gladly with as many differences as it came.

"I missed you" whispered softly, kissing the side of his head as he ran his fingers through the blonde hair, soft and cool against his skin.

Lucifer let out a small chuckle.

"Me and my stupid hair?"

"Always."

He didn't realize in what moment his pants had received the same treatment as his vest. Suddenly the pressure that was starting to annoy him was gone and Lucifer was touching him, lifting his legs up as he kneeled in front of him.

"Wait, wait" said without breath. The slit tongue of Lucifer was out and something about how long it was making it very difficult to grasp the words he needed out. "I... I haven't done this on this reality, so..."

"Oh, yeah" said Lucifer, as if a new memory had unlocked for him.

Alastor covered his face with an arm when realizing he knew exactly which one. The one where he had to explain to Lucifer that he barely had any sexual attraction towards anyone before meeting him so he never did anything sexual previous to their relationship. Even touching himself was extremely rare, mostly a hazzle that left him with a headache right after and really wasn't worth it. He just lacked whatever impulse made people seek out those sensations on the regular.

That is why he and Lucifer had worked on that area. The initiative of Lucifer was the kindle he actually needed. Without it, he just wouldn't have the drive to keep going without it feeling forced and unnatural.

"Aww, babe, you still get embarassed for that?" Lucifer come up again to take his face between his hands and kiss his lips, far gentler than any of their previous kisses. It made his heart flutter inside his chest all the same. "Honey, it's okay. Everyone works differently and it wouldn't be the same Alastor I knew without that. If anything, it makes it even better now."

"Why?" asked, having an idea of where Lucifer's mind was at but wanting to hear it from him.

It seemed that Lucifer read his mind as he got close to whisper into his ear.

"Because it means that I get to teach you everything all over again. I might even teach you some things that I learned only on this reality. Would you like that, Alastor?" Lucifer accompanied those words with a deep chuckle as his claws buried themselves on his thighs without breaking the skin. Alastor just knew that some mark was going to be left on him after and he couldn't wait to see them again.

He lifted his legs, grabbing onto the almost fully clothed fallen angel closer to him.

--

After they both finally settled down under the cover of his bed, Lucifer spoke up.

"Sorry about your suit. I will buy you a new one."

"I have my own money, thank you" Alastor nuzzled the top of Lucifer on top of his chest, hiding his eye roll. "It's fine. I didn't exactly stop you either."

"No, you didn't, slut" Lucifer of course had to show off the grin on his face. "Did I just unlock a new kink for you?"

He didn't had to be so smug about it.

"Aww, Al, don't pout, I am just playing" Lucifer laughed before kissing his cheek.

"I am not pouting. I don't pout" said Alastor, poutingly.

"Sure you don't" Lucifer's head returned to his chest, the twinkle on his eyes just as loud as his laughter. "You have no idea how weird this is to me. You look so different now to the image I have in my head."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly given an option about it."

"I like it" Lucifer's hand went up the to tug softly at the portion of red hair on his chest and then up to this other ears on top of his head. Those shook and move at the contact involuntarely. Alastor wasn't still sure if he liked the attention on that zone or he could become indifferent to it. "Especially those. They are softer than the rest of your hair. And your tail is the cutest thing I have seen."

Alastor turned his head, not pouting at all. That was a good reason as to why he hide that last trait with his coat.

"You on the other hand, barely changed at all" commented, booping him where a nose had never been.

"You see, that too. It's weird to think of me as a human at all."

"I can imagine" commented Alastor, nodding.

"It's like waking up from a dream. But instead of waking is just another dream and the dream is actually reality. Does it make sense?"

"Yes, I felt the same when my own memories were translated to this body."

Lucifer frowned at that.

"Hey, how long have you had your own memories back?"

"Since my first killing as a human on this reality. I want to say... maybe 200 years ago now? I figure it wouldn't send me to a reality where I wasn't a serial killer. Not a lot of entertainment to be had then."

"Wait, so you have known the entire time you have been in hell? Why didn't you try to touch my hand before?"

Alastor blinked.

"Do you mean to ask me why I didn't try to touch the hand of the king of hell as a simple overlord? The king that is notorious for not making many public appearences and lives in a castle with the best security anyone could ask for because he is, wouldn't you know it, the king? My goodness, you are so right, my lord. I have no idea why I didn't thought of doing that before."

"Yeah, okay, okay, I got it" Lucifer sighed, now he sporting the pout. "You know, you are still an asshole."

"We are in hell, darling. Everyone is an asshole here."

"Touché" Lucifer got back to resting his head against him. "What happens now? I can't really explaint to Charlie that I am fucking her friend on the side because we met in another life. And I don't really want to explain the whole interdimensional eldrich monster that killed us all before. She has so much on her plate right now and I don't really want to add to it."

"Agreed" Alastor also couldn't imagine a scenario where they could make any sense of their situation to other people. Normally that wouldn't mean much to him, but now there were so many other factors to take into account. "If I might propose something, I believe the best course of action right now is to keep our relationship between us."

"We have a relationship?"

Alastor stared a Lucifer with a sarcastic comment at the tip of his tongue, but then saw the face of the fallen angel and realized that was a question out of giddy amazement rather than needing a clarification. Like he couldn't believe how lucky he was. That thought made him feel warm all over.

"Yes, we do" said instead, caressing his cheek. How silly could he be to ever think otherwise? "You thought this was only going to be sex?"

"I didn't want to assume" Lucifer blushed, taking the hand of Alastor on his to kiss his knuckles. His blush now was a soft gold that expanded beyond the red dots on his cheek. Angelic blood was truly fascinating. "So I came here because my daughter invited me over and I come out with a new boyfriend. Best day ever."

"If you say so" Alastor chuckled too, kissing his forehead. Lucifer wrapped his arms around him and lifted himself up to kiss him more deeply. "But it's a secret for now."

"Yeah, I heard you. Until when though?"

"No any time soon, I am afraid. I would personally prefer to not give my enemies any amunition either."

Lucifer snorted. He lifted over his arms on top of Alastor and sat on his stomach, looking down to him.

"Is that a joke? I am Lucifer Motherfucking Morningstar. I can obliterate any sinner barely lifting my pinkie" Alastor had no doubt that he could and that was exactly making him find out things about him that he didn't expect. "Come on, just give me their names and you won't ever have to worry about them ever again."

He still needed a moment to clear his head again before he could speak. This version of Lucifer was just full of surprises. Did he know how beautiful was like this? He did probably. This Lucifer would know.

"For as... lovely of an offer that is" said slowly. "I prefer to deal with them on my own way, darling. Not to brag, but I have done a lot of stuff to get where I am today and I would hate to see it wasted."

"You mean killed a lot of people."

"On top of other things."

"I don't need to know the details" Lucifer fell to his side of the bed again, the murderous intent already gone from him and back to the relaxed state of before. "Are you sure?"

"Positive, darling."

"Fine. But you have the head honcho of hell one text away if you ever need me."

"I still don't have a cellphone, love."

"Still?! How did you managed to survive this long without ever being connected?"

"I talk to people, darling."

"I talk to thousands of people everytime I post on Pentagram! At the same time! And we could text! It would be so fun!"

"And we would have one of those enemies I told you immediately knowing all about it" Just thinking of Vox getting to use that kind of information to undermine his reputation made him sick. He wasn't about to give him that satisfaction. "Before I didn't really like those cellphone, but now less than ever."

"How come now I am the older one here, but you are still the old man in this relationship?"

"I am not changing my mind, dear."

The groan from the fallen angel was muffled against Alastor's shoulder.

"Fine. But I don't have a landline either so what are going to do for communication?"

"You could get a radio. I can always transmit even if I am away from my studio now. The line is secure and you can talk to me back."

"Can I come visit?"

"Of course you can, love. Charlie would be happy to see you around too."

Lucifer didn't jump on happiness at that, which surprised Alastor.

"I don't... know about that. Today was a good day, but I don't really want to just impose on her life like that. She is all grown up, in a good relationship, has a job. A mission even. She probably has better things to do than to deal with her old man."

"She would still like it" pointed out Alastor softly, taking up the hand over his chest and squeezing it once.

He wasn't an expert when it came to daughters and fathers, his own father was a horrible example that nobody should follow, but seeing these two together had reminded him of how much Lucifer still loved his daughter above all else. Maybe love wasn't always enough, but it certainly did a lot and he could clearly see that Lucifer would try as harder as he could.

"I-I will think about it" Lucifer gave him that tiny smile that meant he didn't want to talk about it now, so Alastor didn't push. "But I can still portal here if you would have me."

The thought of coming to his room at the end of a hard day and finding Lucifer casually waiting for him made his heart a bit faster. There was so many books that he fantasized talking to him about for years, so many more music that he wanted to see his reaction to and now he could finally do it.

"You are always welcome, darling" assured, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "I could visit you too, you know. Through the radio. If the king of hell is not too busy for me, that is."

"I can make a space for you" Lucifer giggled, like it was still somehow funny to him being able to do that or having that particular excuse for it. Alastor thought that was still true to his toy maker too.

"Oh, what a benevolent king. What ever could I do to deserve such grace" joked without malice, brushing his hair lazily with his own claw.

"Yes, I am, actually. Not many people appreciate it here. Glad that you can see it" The beaming that iluminated his face was so adorable that Alastor had to laugh too, some of the static of his radio accompanying it. Lucifer gasped. "You still do that?! Aww, cute! I didn't know I missed it so much until now."

"I can do a lot more things than that" Any opportunity to show off his power was a good one. For now he was just happy to put music that seemed to come out of nowhere. "Do you remember this one?"

"Our first date at that jazz club."

There was a lot of new things he wanted to talk to him about it and also ask him. Find out how much of his life was different, what did he liked to do now, everything and anything so he could start knowing this version of him even better. But reminisce through their own shared history was interesting enough for both of them.

Eventually, Lucifer had to get up and dress again. Outside was pitch black, only the city light breaking up the total darkness. Alastor didn't protest at first just because he always enjoyed the way that Lucifer fixed himself, so methodic and careful in every movement until he was the very image of composed. He felt blessed even to being able to witness his little ritual.

"Are you sure you can't just stay, darling?" said at last, when Lucifer was putting his boots.

"If I stay I won't ever want to leave" said Lucifer sincerely, sitting on the bed again.

"Would that be so bad?" Alastor already knew the answer to that one, but could he be blamed for trying at least?

"I still have to fix a meeting with heaven" Lucifer sighed, clearly not really wanting to do that. The way his eyes looked so sad for a moment gave Alastor a lot to think about later. "I still don't have any idea of how I am going to do that. They don't particularly like me up there."

"Obviously they don't have a taste as impeccable as mine then" said, taking the hand of Lucifer over his bed and squeezing it. "I am sure it will be fine. If you can convince humanity to create sin, you can fix a mere meeting. It will be easy for you."

"Oh, I am sure heaven very much appreciate me doing that" Lucifer sighed again, more deeply, before reclining to kiss his head. "I will get the oldest, rustiest, clunkiest radio I can find in hell. Just for you, babe. If I am lucky is going to be powered by a hamster so not electricity can contaminate it."

"Aren't I honoured?" replied with irony, rolling his eyes. "Look in pawn shops" added, not without some pain over finding out that is where the majority of radios found it's place nowadays. People had no respect for the classics. He hoped that attitude was going to change now that at least he was back on air.

Lucifer nodded, searching for his lips for another kiss. Alastor let him find them, barely containing himself to not just bring him to bed again. Not even for sex, just to feel him close, to know that he was really there, to hear his dorky laugh again.

"Hey, I just had an idea" said Lucifer, perking up. "If you are an overlord now, then you like a good deal, don't you?"

"Oh. What do you have in mind?" asked, finding it rather amusing that it was the king of hell himself the one to propose a deal to him with no hesitation, when his own naive daughter had wisely refused to do so.

"Here are the terms. If you ever have to change reality again for whatever reason, you will do whatever you can to always find me and make me remember you. This or any other life that we have together."

"Mmm, tempting" So tempting in fact, that Alastor was sure he was going to do just that anyway. But he was too curious to hear the rest. As Lucifer had said, he just couldn't resist a good deal. "That is my part of the contract. What does His Highness can offer me in return?"

A lovely gold came to color Lucifer's face as he smiled, the sparkles of his eyes softening his looks even more. Alastor had never seen someone finding such pure joy in a transaction like this.

"In exchange for doing that, when the time is right, when our enemies are defeated and my daughter is safe" said, remarking every conditions by getting more closer and lowering his voice until it was barely above a whisper, "and of course, if we both want it, I, Lucifer Morningstar, will marry you. Do we have a deal?"

It was always fascinating to him how a mere look from him could be enough to choke him out, to make him forget that words existed. For a moment Alastor did nothing else but hear the static that he wasn't controlling just around him, going up in volumen with the almost painful beat on his chest.

"Yes" was the only thing he could force out of his lips, thankfully remembering that deals needed clear consent.

"Then it's done" Lucifer lower the whole way to join their lips.

Alastor had closed his eyes at first, but opened them up again when he felt the familiar grasp over his sould. Under the eyelids of Lucifer he could see his golden magic shine through, just like he knew his own had to be glowing in green. Their magic combined surrounded them, mixing together, and finally came back to their bodies with a piece of each other.

Was this one of his bullshit fallen angel powers?

"We didn't shake hands."

"You can actually make deals with any contact that is freely given and mutual" explained Lucifer with a wink. "But people don't tend to realize that. For the majority of cases, a handshake is the most neutral and safest option. I just wanted to make ours something different."

"Interesting."

Alastor saved that tidbit of information for later on the back of his mind. He was so intrigued by the fact that there was still things to learn about the topic, that it took him a second to catch on the fact that they had technically just gotten engaged.

They had only talked about marriage once before, more than 200 years ago, in another life.

This was the first day they saw each other since then.

And he had said yes without even thinking.

Had he lost his entire mind?

Lucifer seemed pleased to see the realization reaching his face and chuckled, kissing his cheek.

"Now I really have to go. But I will be hearing you later" promised the king, and he lifted to leave, opening a new portal just behind him.

Before he realized that is what he was doing, Alastor reached for his wrist. The tiny king tilted his head and Alastor suddenly knew perfectly why he had done that.

"I love you."

He didn't want to wait another disaster in order to say it. The words could still feel somewhat weird on his mouth, but the way that Lucifer's whole body relaxed made it worth it.

"I love you too."

One last kiss and then Lucifer was gone. But at least he would have their music until the next encounter.

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

12: I Will Show You Around Snowdin Town

♪⁠────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You’re put off that you’re not going to be doing any of the puzzles, but you understand that it’s reserved for Papyrus. You might try to encourage Papyrus to take you to do them eventually since you thought they were pretty fun in the game.

As for your journey to Snowdin, it’s going pretty well. It throws you off that there isn’t a “Day/Night” cycle in the Underground because even though it looks bright, you know that it’s supposed to be dinner time soon. The time on your phone also says it’s about 6pm too, but it doesn’t look like it.

Anyway, much to your gratitude, Sans was just fine with letting you take your time to explore the area as you went along. He’d either hang back with his hands in his pockets, or by your side to make some jokes with you.

“Lookie lookie!” You held up the Tough Glove, “This is great for five-fingered folks! I wonder where the other one is, though…”

The worn, pink leather glove doesn’t look like it would fit you, though. It could probably fit a child, though.

Oh.

A… child…

You frown and take the glove, “I won’t get in trouble for taking this, right?”

“a box lover left it in there, so i doubt it.” Sans tilts his head, “doesn’t look like it’ll fit your hand, though.”

“I know, but…” You put the glove in your dress’s pocket, “Anyway, let’s keep moving, yeah?”

“uh, sure thing.”

There are a lot of monsters in the area, but none of them dare to approach you. You guess it’s because you’re walking with Sans, but… You don’t know how to explain it, it feels strange being avoided. You know that’s the whole damn point, but you feel like you’re missing out on something.

So that’s why when you two reached Doggo’s house, you were a little excited!

“now this part, we gotta be a little sneaky,” Sans whispers, “doggo will jump your bones if he sees anything moving.”

“…” You bite your bottom lip, “That’s what she said.”

“…”

“…”

“i walked right into that one, didn’t i?”

You shrugged while walking with the purpose of making noise with the snow beneath your boots, “Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fine-WUAHAHH!!”

“woah!”

Something jumps right out of the doghouse and tackles you into the ground. Large paws have you pinned down by thighs, and slightly smaller paws are pressed down onto your shoulders. An animal’s muzzle was pressed under your chin with its wet nose sniffing your neck.

Nooo! Doggo got you!! You could probably just brute-force yourself to be free, but you don’t want to hurt him by accident.

“Pfft—Hey, hey!” The feeling was tickling you, making you laugh, “Get-Get off!”

Doggo pulls back with a growl, making you flinch slightly, “That smell…! You’re a human!!”

”Whaa-haatt?? Nooo!!” You look around for Sans but the fucker was just watching at a distance! “I-I think you have my smell confused with-with uh…. Uh… M-My perfume…?”

“…Your what?”

Doggo looks like a husky—an unnaturally large husky with humanoid proportions. There’s a dog treat held in his teeth, you wonder if he’s going to smoke it later. He’s glaring at you with very shifty eyes, as if he’s having a hard time trying to locate you-

Ohh, right.

You tilt your head and immediately he finds you and you two lock eyes.

“Yes, my-my perfume,” You chuckle nervously, “It’s—It’s the newest addition to… to a popular brand… Human Scent perfume…”

“Hmmm…” His eyes begin to shift again so you tilt your head again to help him out. He seemed to appreciate it. “You don’t look like any monster I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, I, uh… Could-Could you get off me please?”

The doggy grumbles with reluctance, and eventually gets off of you. You sigh in relief, taking a deep breath while you sit back up.

“i don’t wanna say i told you so,” Sans is suddenly behind you, his tone cocky and full of arrogance, “buuut, i told you so.”

“Alright, bucko.” You scoff.

“she’s from downtown snowdin,” Sans lies easily, “i’m just showing her around.”

Doggo’s eyes are shifting, trying to find Sans but the skeleton is making no effort to move. Feeling some pity, you stand up. You start cleaning off the snow from your back (as best you could, anyway). Doggo’s eyes are strictly on you.

“Nice shirt,” You nod at him, “You know, you look like the kinda guy who’d look good in a spike collar.”

Doggo widens his eyes and his tail starts to wag, “Y-You really think so?”

“Yeah, totally! I think it can really make a statement,” You point your thumb down the path, “Hey, Sans and I gotta get going now, but it was great meeting you! Keep up you’re… Uh, guarding…?”

The big pupper gives you a robotic salute, as if you just told him to be prepared to die for your fellow man.

“Understood. I, Doggo, will guard this path!”

“And I, [Y/n], will walk down this path, feeling safe knowing that you will be protecting it,” You stop to think, “With Sans. Vamonos, bone boy!”

“roger.”

When Sans finally moves to catch up with you, Doggo snaps his head as he can finally see him. That skeleton is always playing pranks on him! You seem like a nice monster, Doggo can’t help but be a little concerned that you might be hanging around the wrong crowd. Hopefully you’ll be okay. Ugh, he’s gonna need to smoke some dog treats for this.

“so, what did we learn?”

You raise an eyebrow, “Uh, that Doggo is pretty vigilant?”

“oooo. so close.” Sans raises a fist as if weakly damning the world, “the lesson of the day is: always listen to sans.”

You roll your eyes, “It wasn’t even that bad. Doggo was just being a good boy.”

“…a good boy for who?”

“You would like to know that, wouldn’t you, weather boy?”

“is this humor from the surface?”

“I’d like to think it’s exclusive [Y/n] content.”

There’s the sign you passed by telling you that there’s ice North, South, and West. East is Snowdin town… and ice. You know there’s the snowman up North, but you can’t take a piece of him in good faith knowing that you won’t be leaving Snowdin. If you did, you’d just feel obligated to go out of your comfort for a snowman.

Sans rolls his eye-lights, “alright, but uh, in all seriousness, you gotta listen to me about that stuff. it’ll be bad news if something happens to you before we even make it to town.”

You sigh, “Yeah, I get it. You really don’t gotta worry that I’ll break if I get knocked over by a dog, though. Bumps and bruises are part of the experience.”

”you say that, but toriel made me promise-”

“-Yeah, but she won’t know as long as you don’t tell her,” You wave your hand dismissively, “I think you both got the wrong idea. Yeah, I don’t wanna die, but I don’t want to not live either. Do you get it?”

He huffs out a laugh, “yeah, i get it. look at me, getting lectured by a human.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…!”

────

You rub your nose for the nth, sniffling again. The cold is starting to get to you. You’re barely halfway through the damn forest and you’ve been walking for about an hour. You’re taking a little break from walking, leaning against the doghouse that’s right after the randomized puzzle. It wasn’t activated, so you didn’t have to worry about it. There weren’t any snow dogs unfortunately.

Actually, you didn’t even run into Lesser Dog. What a terrible experience. You hate Snowdin.

All jokes aside though, Snowdin feels… different.

For one, you didn’t see the Nice Cream Guy and you know you should’ve ran into him by now. You know that he moved from Snowdin to Waterfall, and eventually to Hotland. You don’t… You hope he isn’t dead, and you doubt he is. 

Second, you totally didn’t realize until now that Dogamy and Dogaressa weren’t there either. And now you have apparently skipped out on meeting Lesser Dog.

It just feels like… You don’t know, like if this isn’t the correct timeline. That you’re either in the past or the “future” of when the game takes place. There’s no way of knowing either without asking Flowey or Sans, but you’re not taking that fucking chance.

Sans is sitting on the snow with his back against the doghouse. You don’t think he’s actually asleep though. 

“Hey, bonehead,” You say softly, “Let’s keep moving now. I’ve rested enough.”

Just as you thought, he easily opens one of his eyes, as if he wasn’t sleeping at all.

“you sure? you look chilled to the bone.”

“Ha-ha! Well, I’ll just get colder if we stay out here longer,” You sniff again, “I’ll get used to it eventually. Lucky you, you got thick skin.”

Sans laughs softly while pushing himself up with one hand. You know how some people will do that but their other hand is just out there in front of them kind of awkwardly? It was like that.

Walking to the next area is the puzzle of sliding on the ice to turn the X’s into O’s. You straighten up and clap your hands excitedly.

“This is gonna be fucking cool. Just watch me, I’m gonna solve this shit so fucking fast on my first try, you’re gonna be like,” You clear your throat and try to mimic Sans’ tone, “oh wow, you’re so cool, [y/n]. i wanna be like you when i grow up.”

“…i don’t sound like that.”

“Sure you do! “Hey guys, it’s me, Moist Critikal.”

“what?”

“Anyway,” You look at the skeleton, “just stand back and be amazed-”

“-puzzle is done.”

“WHAT?!”

You quickly redirect your attention ahead of yourself. The X’s have somehow turned into O’s and the little bridge had just finished pulling out all the way. You sulk your shoulders with a sense of saddness.

“Sans!!” You glare at him, “I know you did that!”

He holds up his hands in an “oh well” manner, “no idea what you’re talking about, [y/n].”

Ugh! Whatever! He can’t stop you from sliding on the ice at the very least!

You line yourself up so you're lined with the bridge ahead. Sticking your tongue out in concentration, you take a couple of steps back from the ice. Sans raises a brow-bone, waiting to see what the hell you’re planning.

Just like you’d wear socks and slide around the tile floors at home, you run at the ice and bend your knees a bit as you begin to slide. Your stance is unsteady, but you’re able to stay upright long enough to reach the bridge. You feel something fall on your head, something wet! Eww, you’d be more freaked out if you didn’t know that it’s just snow.

You made it to the other side, but the ground was no longer slippery, so you stumbled a little bit on the snow. Though your stumbling caused the snow to fall off your head.

Aw :(.

You stand up straight and flinch.

”WAH! Wha-Sans! How-How did you get here first??”

You ask that, but immediately remember he does that a lot in the game. Still, your momentary lapse in memory saves your ass because Sans doesn’t know that you know.

He winks, “just took a shortcut. pretty cool, huh?”

“What, like the same shortcut you used for my suitcase?”

“exactly. convenient, isn’t it?’”

“It is pretty swanky,” You look past him with a smile, “Hey, look at that tiny doghouse!”

Sans turns around, humming softly for a moment. Greater Dog wasn’t in the little house, but there were still a lot of snow poffs around. If you’re lucky, maybe Greater Dog will be in one of them!

You walk up to the first snow puff, looking Sans dead in the eyes(sockets).

“It’s a snow poff.”

Sans refrains from rolling his eye-lights and decides to humor you. “really? you don’t say.”

You walk to the next one. “And this… is a snow poff.”

“yeah?”

“This, however,” You gesture to the next one, “is a snow poff.”

“what about the other one?”

“Surprisingly, it’s a snow poff.”

Sans walks slowly behind, “and that one?”

“Snow poff…”

The skeleton lightly taps the next one with his foot, “you won’t believe what this one is.”

You gasp dramatically, “Is it really a snow poff?”

Rushing up to the second to last snow poff, you present it like the Will Smith meme showing off his wife.

“Behold! A snow poff.”

As the monster is shaking his head, you reach the last one (There is still one more, but you remember that one being the one Greater Dog is hiding in). You kneel down and test your luck by putting your hand in.

Oh shit!

“What?” You count the pieces of Gold, handing them to Sans for no other reason than just because you wanted to, “There’s 30 gold inside this… what is this?”  

“isn’t it obvious?” Sans winks as he pockets the gold, “it’s a snow poff.”

You get back up to your feet, pointing to the suspiciously large snow poff, “Oops, we got a strangler! You think that one’s got gold, too?”

“hm. maybe, maybe not. what do you-”

A white, fluffy tail pokes out from the snow. You beam with excitement and you’re nearly bouncing on your heels from anticipation. Then, a white dog’s head frees itself from the snow poff, shaking his head to rid of the snow covering his eyes.

You almost grab onto the skeleton’s arm, but manage to stop last second. “Sans…! Oh, my God! Lookie!”

“looking as we speak.”

The puppy barks twice.

“Awww! I’m gonna cryyyy!”

He flinches, “but you’re already tearing up…!”

The snow poff breaks apart easily. An absolute fucking Giga Chad of a dog in bulky, silver armor rises from the snow, getting taller, and taller, and taller. You and Sans are staring right up at Greater Dog who is undoubtedly nearly eight feet tall, covering you both with his massive shadow.

“This is the greatest day in my fucking life!”

“uh oh.”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

[singlecrow]

Yuletide this year! Firstly this:

In the Consul's Court of Archon's Glory // Applicant No. #001 (on the instigation of the Temple of the White Rat) (5971 words) by raven Fandom: The Saint of Steel - T. Kingfisher Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Zale (The Saint of Steel), Bishop Beartongue (The Saint of Steel), Galen (The Saint of Steel), Wren (The Saint of Steel) Additional Tags: Slice of Life, the Temple of the White Rat, no spoilers for Paladin's Faith, Yuletide Treat

Administrative public law concerns the proper relations between government and governed; or, to put it another way, Zale and Bishop Beartongue have had it with this shit.

This is a treat for @naomitess, and I’m pretty sure a bunch of people guessed it was me just from the summary. Anyway it was a delight to do! and an interesting process in its way. I loved the idea of Bishop Beartongue inventing judicial review but it struck me right away that it couldn’t be American judicial review. It’s not fancy, like American judicial review is - none of this testing of lower court holdings and whatnot in high-profile whatevers. What she’s invented is ordinary administrative judicial review: the idea that any action taken by a public authority must be rational, legal and procedurally correct. Which is, I think, an interesting thought in the context of the White Rat. Because, you know, large-scale generation-defining constitutional law is fine. (It’s ok i guess. fine.) But my training and everyone’s training is one-man-and-a-dog JRs. I had probably done hundreds of them before I did the big stuff you’ve heard of. So none of this means that Bishop Beartongue and Zale can’t topple the Archon, it’s only that if they do, it begins with one person, some phallic mishaps and a horrendous stone gargoyle, and a whole bunch of other apparently inconsequential things. So that was great fun, and it turns out Beartongue is still my favourite. I wish someone would write me 50k of her just doing her thing.

The other story is my assigned story and the one that got wildly out of hand. It’s for a piece at McSweeney’s called We Are a Picturesque Small Town And We Refuse to Be The Setting For Your Romantic Comedy. That piece is delightful and hilarious! It’s 500w! And somehow I ended up writing a 9000-word romantic comedy that's essentially original f/f SF. If you like my pro work you will probably like it. At least I hope you do, I enjoyed writing it very much.

spirit falling (a ship's proper motion) (8723 words) by raven Fandom: We Are A Picturesque Small Town And We Refuse To Be The Setting For Your RomCom - Rachel McKenny Characters: Original Characters, Medical Practitioner (Picturesque Small Town), Chet Anderson (Picturesque Small Town) Additional Tags: Romance, Alien Cultural Differences, Telepathy, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Romantic Comedy

While the aliens are on board, there will be no romance on the good ship Spirit Falling.

None.

Zero.

(Everything is fine.)

[siravalondulac]

vi. the smith

meet me in the dark, kiss me in the moonlight

asoiaf ff | jon snow x fem!oc

summary: jon walks around castle black and spots elle somewhere she should perhaps not be word count: 829 warnings: none

masterlist

previous | next

After two days, the storm had finally passed and Jon wasn’t confined to the underground passageways anymore. And although he had never loved the sun as much as others might, he had to say he missed walking around the castle in its light.

Many of his brothers seemed to share this sentiment, as he had rarely seen so many men going after their work outside. Even Albett had joined them outside, though Jon supposed that was more due to coercion than his personal want.

“This thing is falling apart already,” Albett said as he kicked a wood panel into place. “I don’t understand why we should try and fix anything.”

The storm had done considerable damage to the wooden ramparts and stone walls of Castle Black, so Othell Yarwyck had recruited anyone who didn’t have a more important duty to help with the repairs. The recruits were the first to fall victim. Ghost, however, had taken off north of the Wall to hunt. Lucky dog.

“Well, he ain't wrong,” Grenn said from the upper floor. “I almost broke my neck the past week walking down the stairs. And that was no storm causing that.”

“That's no proof. You'd fall down the stairs of Highgarden if you ever set foot in the castle,” Pyp countered.

“I wouldn't want to go there anyways.”

Jon shook his head at the antics of his friends, even though he couldn't suppress a smile.

“You really should want to see Highgarden,” Sam chimed in. “It is no Hightower, but the architecture is truly noteworthy.”

Jon could already feel the insults on the other's tongues, so he quickly said, “No matter what, no castle will ever be as grand as Winterfell, I can assure you that.”

“'Course he'd say that,” Grenn said.

The group went quiet again. Jon went to move one of the boards at the end of the staircase in place. He looked around in confusion.

“Does anyone have any nails left?”

A resounding “No” came from everyone in the group.

“Fine. I'll go get some.”

He had quickly found what he needed in the armoury and was on his way back when he noticed several brothers standing at the foot of the Tower of Guards, looking upwards. Intrigued, he walked towards them.

Following their gaze, he noticed a woman sitting on the tower's roof.

“What is Elle doing up there?” he asked the man next to him. Jon had seen him before but couldn't remember his name.

“Fixing the roof,” the man answered. “She's the only one able to get up there.”

Jon's eyes wandered down and up the side of the tower. He spotted a few alcoves and jutted-out bricks, but nothing providing a true way to reach the top.

“How?”

The man shook his head. “Don't ask. You need to see it for yourself to believe, it's as if she can stick to the walls by herself.”

“We can be glad she ain't no wildling,” a blonde haired man spoke up. “Otherwise the Wall would have long fallen.”

Jon looked up again. Elle sat dangerously close to the edge, teetering on falling over. And yet she didn't seem to pay any mind to it.

“Instead of standing around uselessly down there one of you could finally pull up the box I know you already have,” Elle shouted from above.

“Get it yourself! Or are you such a weak and fragile little lady that you-”

The blonde man let out a high-pitched screech as a brick fell down right in front of his face. It landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor. The three men around him broke out in laughter.

“You missed,” one of them shouted.

“Better get me that box or I shall not next time.”

The man Jon had spoken to walked towards a rope hanging down from one of the windows. He grabbed it with both hands and started pulling, heaving a small chest upwards.

“You scream like a girl,” a man said, still laughing.

“Do not!”

Jon's gaze stayed on Elle, even as the men started bickering amongst themselves. She had noticed the rope moving. Putting down whatever tool she had been holding, she grabbed ahold of the edge and swung herself over it, as if she had done it a thousand times before. She climbed down the short distance to the window and took ahold of the chest as soon as she could reach it. She placed it on the window sill, took something out of it and quickly climbed back to the roof.

Jon's amazement must have been written clear on his face, because when the man had let the rope to the ground again and turned towards him he said, “Told you so.”

He didn't know how to respond, so he just nodded and walked towards the staircase he was supposed to be fixing right now.

And even though he tried, he knew the smile on his face was clear to see.

previous | next

[spectrechosts]

Hell's Belles - Chapter 3

Relaxing and studying sin.

Full Series

"This feels so good…" Grezayla sighed, relaxed.

"I'm glad you like it, little lamb."

"Can… Can I put it in my mouth?"

Lilith rolled her eyes. "Yes, you can eat the lava." She said.

"Just remember to shapeshift it out of you if you swallow it." Tinixi added. "You don't want it to pass through the normal way once it's cooled into a rock."

"Mmmf." Grezayla said, nodding, her voice muffled by the handful of lava she had already shoveled into her mouth.

The lava spas in the lower levels of Lilith's palace were a perfect spot for her to unwind from the stresses of her job, and for her concubines to lounge about in comfort as they pleased. She lay on the surface of the pool, letting its warmth seep into her bones.

"Flash card!" Azaerixia shouted, holding a crude drawing up to Grezayla, who drooled her mouthful of lava out over herself.

"That's a…" Grezayla squinted. "What way is the one on top facing?"

"Oh! Hang on!" Azaerixia said, quickly scribbling hair onto the figure to make it clearer, before holding it up again.

"Reverse cowgirl."

"Correct!" She said, and flopped back down to draw another scene.

"That tasted worse than I expected."

"Did you think molten rock would taste good?"

"Maybe." Grezayla said evasively, scooping more lava onto herself. "I certainly didn't expect it to be comfy, but here we are."

"Watch you don't pile so much on that you sink, Vasselli did that once and it took us a week to find her." Said Tinixi.

"Oh my god, was she okay?" Grezayla asked, and Lilith snorted.

"She was fine. She told us to put her back in, said it was the best nap she'd had in centuries."

"She got sent to Sloth for a few months so they could investigate, apparently none of them had ever thought of it. Got a big soul payout for her 'innovations in the field of napping' when she was done."

"Wow. Must've been some nap."

"Transformation check!" Azaerixia shouted, pointing at Grezayla. "Grow your tongue out to bellybutton length!"

Grezayla grew her tongue out, and out, and out, overshooting her mark before managing to reel it all back in to normal length.

"Dammit!" She huffed.

"You're too focused on the growing." Lilith said, without looking up. "Don't try to make your tongue bigger and then stop, just envision how long you want it to be. You'll get it."

"You can undo it on your own now though, that's good progress!" Azaerixia chirped, and Lilith and Tinixi echoed her praise.

Grezayla shifted her position, dragging an arm out of the pool with some effort.

"I don't know if I could sleep in this." She said, wiggling her fingers. "It'd be too heavy, I like to be able to move around."

"It's not for everyone."

"FLASH CARD!"

"Already? Uhh, standing full nelson."

"Correct! You're getting good at these!"

"I must say, this isn't how I would teach someone sex positions, Azzy."

"No, no, it's effective." Grezayla insisted. "It's the names that trip me up."

Lilith shrugged. "To each their own."

"FLASH CAAARD!"

"How are you drawing these so fast? Doggy."

"Correct! And now that you bring up dogs-"

"Oh, hon…" Tinixi sighed.

"Azzy, dearest, you have to let it go." Lilith said softly.

"I will not! There has to be some way I can keep a dog down here."

"Unless you can communicate with one and get it to agree to give you it's soul, there really is not."

"But why!? Why do they all go to heaven?"

"I don't think it's that they all go to heaven so much as none of them go to hell." Grezayla said.

"Why not?! There has to be at least one sinful dog out there!"

"No, because like, animals don't have the capacity to sin. Only humans."

"Cats can sin." Tinixi said. "They learned how like, a couple hundred years back."

"What?"

"Cats can sin." Azaerixia agreed, nodding.

"That- No they can't. That doesn't even make sense."

"I don't know what to tell you, they're definitely down here. They have the capacity to know they're doing something sinful and do it anyway." Tinixi said, shrugging.

"What. But-"

"You want something that'll really confuse you, little lamb?" Lilith asked, smiling smugly. "So only humans can sin, because you're descended from Eve, who ate the fruit of knowledge and in doing so learned ~right from wrong~, and thus the capacity to sin, yes?"

"Yes?"

"Okay." Lilith said, showing her teeth. "Explain why I'm in hell."

Grezayla thought for a moment, narrowing her eyes.

"Wait, why-"

"Uh-huh."

"Because you aren't-"

"Uh-huh."

"And you didn't eat-"

"Nope."

Grezayla put her hands to her temples.

"What the fuck."

"Sorry little lamb, but the old man just throws whatever he feels like down here. No rhyme or reason to it." Lilith said, relaxing back into the lava.

"So…. Maybe dogs eventually?" Azaerixia asked, hopeful.

"Maybe. Eventually."

"Yesssss. Also flash card."

"I don't understand what I'm looking at."

"Okay, so these two are staying perfectly still after putting the dick in, and this one is jumping on the bed they're all on-"

[toyybox]

Spiderwebs #14: Tape VII (Perception)

Masterlist

content: lab whump, captivity, immortal whumpee, starvation

By now, Heather had a fairly good idea of Jackie’s limits. That was to say, there were none. Unless she found something specific, a kind of kryptonite to crack him. Until then? Fire, extreme temperatures, physical injury, and all manner of poison—all of that was on the table. 

She was not interested in pointlessly wounding him, however. Heather had many pet projects, synthetic drugs she'd been developing here and there alongside the cancer treatment. The problem with testing them was that she never knew how much damage they'd do. What seemed like an innocuous compound would rupture the subject's liver or clot all their blood, and it was a hassle to replace them afterwards. One could only buy so many dogs, after all. 

But things were different now. The only damage she could do to Jackie was emotional. And what was there to be upset about? It was only a few pills. The effects were temporary, anyway. 

Her subject was awake that fine Tuesday morning. Her last experiment took place on Friday, so it had been four days. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, bright-eyed and ready, holding something in his hands. Before she could say anything, he spoke.

"Hi. I have a list of demands." He handed her a sheet of paper torn from the notebook. "Take your time, there's a lot to read."

She didn't accept the paper. "Demands? Excuse me?"

"Requests, if you want. Just read it." He nudged the paper forward. "Please?"  

"Fine." She straightened the sheet. On it, there was a list written in a neat and slanted script. It read as follows:

Lamp Mouchette — Georges Bernanos Calendar  Tea Fridge Telephone Blender Cake (chocolate preferred) Going outside?

"I can't tell if you're joking." Heather crumpled the paper into a ball. "Are you ready for the experiment, then?"

"Lady. Listen. Was there nothing on that list you could get?"

"No."

"Not a single thing? Come on, please? I'm so bored all the time. You can't imagine."

"Bored?" she repeated, incredulous. "What about the book and the—what was it, the notepad?"

"Do you expect me to entertain myself with a single book and a few pieces of paper?" He began to lightly pace the room, gesturing while he spoke, like a stand-up comic retelling a story. "That’s nothing. I can't even talk to anybody. You’re the most interesting part of my day."

"Why would you need a telephone to entertain yourself?"  

"I—well, I need to call my coworkers, don't I?"

"No? Do you think I’m an idiot?"

He stopped walking—then began walking again in the other direction. "Okay, fine. I'll be honest, I just wanted to know if you'd do it. An experiment, I guess. It doesn't matter. What about the fridge and the blender? And the cake?"

"You don’t need those. I'm the one who gives you food."

"Yeah, unless you forget, and you forget all the time. You didn't give me anything yesterday."

"I didn't forget," she hissed. "This experiment requires an empty stomach. I'm not giving you a blender, or tea, or any of these other ridiculous things."

"Not even the book?"

"The book? Mouchette?" She unfolded the crumpled ball of paper. "No."

"Why?"

"You spoiled brat." She let the paper fall to the floor. "Ask me for one more thing. I dare you."

In his eyes passed a conflicted flicker, as he searched her expression. "But—"

"You're talking back." She stepped forward. To her delight, Jackie stepped backwards as well, as if her presence had its own kind of gravity.

"I'm not. I won’t ask for anything else, but—"

"I don't care. I don’t want to hear it."

"Wait. Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top and whatever. This last thing is really important." He paused, then swallowed, continuing when she didn’t make a move to interrupt him. "I want to go outside."

"I don't see how that's my problem."

"I’m being serious. I’m sick of staying in this room. It’s making me go crazy."

"You'll be fine." 

"I won't be fine. You don’t get it, I’m—I don’t—" He began to falter under the weight of her stare. "It's—I'm not—come on, lady. Just for a few minutes. One minute. Thirty seconds, even. I can’t—“

"You can. You'll survive. Stop bitching for a moment, okay?" She stepped forward until his back was to the wall. "Why am I keeping you here? Remind me."

"For experiments?" 

"Exactly. You're my test subject. Test subjects aren't supposed to complain. Test subjects are supposed to sit there and shut up and do the fucking test."

"And that’s what I have to do for the rest of my life?" His voice trembled with what could be anger or fear, or a nauseating mixture of the two. “Stay here and shut up? I‘m not even allowed to talk now?”

She had never met someone so theatrical. "Oh, calm down. I didn't tell you to go mute. You can talk. Just stop complaining. It won't kill you to be quiet for a second." She paused. "Well, I guess that's a given. My point is, you'll be fine."

"Really." 

"Yes. Really." 

Something sour but colder fell over him, as his shoulders slumped a little. That was all the fight he had, or he'd seen that this wasn't going anywhere. Or he was afraid of being vivisected again. 

"I guess you're right," he said. "I wasn’t being serious, anyway."

"In that case, why did you ask?"

"Bored." His previously troubled expression cracked into a grin. "You're just so interesting to talk to."

"I'm sure. Let's continue, then? I’ll need you to take these."

She brought a bottle of pills from her book bag. He studied the white plastic container, barely an inch tall, completely opaque. Unlike regular pharmaceutical bottles, it was devoid of any labels. 

"Another sedative?" he asked.

She unscrewed the safety cap, pressing down then twisting up. "No. Maybe. My results so far have been… inconclusive."

"What’s it supposed to do?"

"I'll tell you once the experiment's done. Hold out your hand."

In his open palm, she dispensed two tablets. They were as white as the container, circular, small as buttons. They were solid but surfaced with a powdery texture. He took them and, though he didn’t look thrilled about it, swallowed them with a gulp of water from his bottle. He stood still and waited.

“The effect won’t be immediate, you know.” 

“I’m not stupid,” he said, although there was no heat simmering the words. “How long ‘til they work?”

“It depends. I’ll give it an hour.”

He nodded. “And you’ll bring food soon?”

“No.” She placed the bottle back into the bag. “Maybe tomorrow. I don’t want any interference with the experiment.”

“Amazing. Thanks so much.” He pushed past her, away from the wall, and sat in the chair. He crossed his arms on the table and buried his head in them. 

He was quiet, at least. He stopped complaining. Yet, Heather felt no less irritated. Jackie was doing this on purpose. Sulking like a sullen child. It was all a ploy to get back at her. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting, then. She’d come back in an hour, she’d finish the experiment, and she’d get on with the rest of her day. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

The minutes passed by. From the basement, she heard occasional, faint thumping sounds. She wrote it off as another of Jackie’s attempts at being as annoying as possible. There was too much work to be done to pay it any mind. The end of the hour arrived soon enough. 

When she returned, Jackie was huddled on his bed. 

“Tape number seven. Five-fifty milligrams of thermoregulation stimulant administered an hour earlier. Subject appears lethargic. Jackie?”

He didn’t reply. She discovered the source of the sound—he was hitting his head against the wall, repetitively, like he was trying to drown something out.

Heather cleared her throat as she stood over him. 

He looked over his shoulder at her. “Hi. Is this supposed to hurt?”

“Hurt?” This wasn’t going as planned. “On a scale of—“

“At least an eight.” He collapsed back into bed with a small groan. “Is this ‘cause I was talking back?” 

“No, not at all.” Heather pulled the journal out from the bookbag and uncapped her pen. “What’s the pain like?”

“Bad.”

She frowned. If he was trying to be funny, this was not the time. Or maybe he really was in too much agony to think straight. “Is it a stabbing pain? Burning? Aching?”

“Burning, yeah.”

“How odd.” She wrote her findings down. “The drug was supposed to replicate the sensation of warmth. I don’t think it’s ever hurt before. It’s made a few guinea pigs die of hypothermia, but…” She pressed a hand to his skin. It was cold, even colder than before, nearly the temperature it was in the freezer. He was sweating a little, on his palms and the back of his neck. “I suppose that if the nervous system is targeted, the drug may activate pain receptors rather than thermoregulation. Jackie, you said it felt like burning?"

He nodded weakly.

"Oh, interesting. That points towards the stimulant being too powerful. The desired result is a mild heat, not enough to cause pain. It must have gone wrong somewhere.” She played with the pen between her fingers as she mused on this. “It’s also possible the dosage was too high. A few more trials may be needed.”

“Can you make it stop?” he asked, muffled through the fabric of the bed. 

The answer was a resounding maybe, but Heather didn’t let the unknown get her down. This was nothing but another opportunity. For science! The nervous system was especially fascinating to Heather. The sparks and electric impulses that defined life. The body's only window to the world outside. And yet, nerves were so malleable. Delicate, for something so important. All perceptions and sensations could be altered, enhanced, or dulled, puppeted along by only a string of chemicals. Nothing more thrilling than that. 

She had developed an opioid recently, one that could be strong enough to drown out the pain of an exposed bone. This was a perfect time to test it out. 

“I can try,” Heather replied, giving him a pat on the shoulder. “Hang in there. I’ll be back before you know it.”

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