#but she's so compelling and her reasoning is so strongly reasoned that you almost want her to win anyways

[ficauthor]

Valerie is so interesting text wise in the Danny Phantom cannon.

She was rich but now she's poor. All basically overnight. She wasn't even particularly snobby compared to the other a-listers. but we watch in an instant how the life changes affects her. Her rapid decline in financial and social status was bc of a ghost dog. but overnight we also see her friends of many years reject her bc she cant go to a concert.

she takes it on the chin but seriously oof. that pain of her friends all ditching her must have been brutal its a huge display of her kindness that she continued to care about them even with that betrayal.

she's extremely socially adept, and very good at leveraging it. enough to trick Tucker into telling her details on ghost hunting.

She works at her local exploding McDonalds as a mascot. At any moment that place could blow because of its C4 sauce but she stays anyways because she's a hardworker, and is trying to help pay the bills.

Now she hates all ghosts because all of her life being ruined is because of one specific awful day. Vlad who's (and i can't stress this enough despite everyone knowing it) a ghost uses that very real trauma to gaslight her into trying to kill her boyfriend. she doesn't know its him but still. she tried to kill him and she's still likable/ nuanced/ complex enough that i can't even be mad.

she'd so caught up in protecting Danny that she doesn't know that she is trying to hurt him.

She also does it bc she believes it protects her dad. Her dad is a security officer he can protect himself but Valerie loves so fiercely it doesn't matter. she loves to her own detriment i'd argue.

in that alternate future we see her working with her dad to protect all of the town from Dark Dan. She never stopped trying to help people. Her number one priority is to always do what she thinks will keep people safe.

She'd very misguided about ghosts but considering the information available at the time it makes sense why she believes that ghosts are all bad.

.She's kind and smart and resourceful but always terrified. it's really easy to see that the way she goes about protecting including her motivations to do so, is all fueled by the fear that anyone's life could be ruined like hers was.

She's so caught up by it all that she breaks up with Danny because she thinks it is best for his wellbeing. she doesn't want his life ruined like hers was. she doesn't know that his was already turned upside and she's trying to make sure harm doesn't befall him.

Her entire life was twisted on its head bc of ghosts just like Danny's was. But circumstance lead her to try and kill them all. She's always in a state of survival juggling side jobs school and vigilantism.

She dated Danny for like a week tops and he became so instantly smitten to such a strong degree he ignored the murder attempts. He was so in love with her he wanted to give her a dorky old fashioned promise ring. he liked her that much! and it was all while she tried to kill him as Phantom! imagine how loveable you have to be for a person to disregard the murder attempts and somehow ignoring it is the correct thing to do.

The show makes it very clear that Valerie is one of Danny's biggest threats. More than Skulker, or Vlad or any of the normal ghost rotation. Not just bc he didn't want to hurt her either. she is genuinely so skilled motivated and quick on her feet that it gets Danny in trouble when they fight. seriously the way she learned the tech from Vlad in no time is majorly impressive. the way she adapted to technus' tech demonstrated a huge display of power and strength (in the Dark Dan timeline she's most likely the biggest factor in protecting the city from him. there are other people working to fight him but she's so powerful that it takes his worst weapon to take her down)

The way she foils him is so interesting. Danny is also often prone to try and shoulder the burden alone but he still always has people in his corner. that's why he turned in Dark Dan in that alternate timeline. the removal of his support made him lose his humanity.

But Valerie doesn't have that support system like him. yet it never consumes her like it does him. she is so interesting! it's just such a shame that the show never got a chance to expand that further.

[centrally-unplanned]

(Link embed not working? Okay)

Okay a bit surprised at this one! Back during the July Crisis I had a very clear logic in mind. I thought Kamala was a weak candidate, she was a very bad pick in 2020 for all the wrong reasons and being BIden's VP was bad baggage. Biden stepping down and having a process where a strong candidate with none of the Biden stain could emerge seemed ideal to me - US campaigns are way too long anyway, it being "rushed" could be a blessing in disguise.

However, that was impossible - the Democrat's org structure is just too sclerotic to throw that together. If it hasn't been approved by eight committees over the course of two years of debate, it can't be done. So in practice, Kamala was the only bet. She is the VP, that is literally their job and why they exist, so we could all default to Kamala, throw Biden into an early grave, and sail off into the tail end of Brat Summer to go down actually putting up a fight.

(And she did better than I expected! Props to her, pity about that last bit)

What all this means is that my assumption was that Biden endorsing Harris was something everyone was on the same page about! It was the only option, and so who would bother dissenting? But now Nancy Pelosi is out here telling me it was a fait accompli and she was actually discussing having an open primary? Was that really in cards?

So Pelosi is definitely a bit of a schemer, so I wouldn't be shocked if this is a bit of a white lie to burnish her rep. Still, she is also very much a schemer, and so maybe she actually could have pulled off getting the DNC to commit to an open primary? My respect for her would go way up in that case - way to really understand the problem at the critical moment.

And my respect for Biden would go way down. We all know Kamala was a mistake at this point as a VP choice, the entire logic behind it was backwards (Why was the candidate earning the overwhelming support of black voters feeling compelled to choose a black woman to double-represent them? Oh, she didn't, she represented the white vote? Uhhhh). But it was a mistake of the past, and so you had to deal with it. Now, though, it comes off as doubling down on that mistake! Just not acknowledging the political errors of the past four years.

Which is a recurring theme of this year - constant whining from the Biden camp that their record wasn't being "sold hard enough" to a voting public that fucking hated him. I can almost imagine it as a moment of stubborness - fine, you don't want me? Then you get my VP; my choice, *I* get to decide.

I don't want to read too much into one article of course, but it is one more datapoint for my already strongly held prior that the Biden team just completely lost the plot in 2024.

[writing-for-marvel]

Quarantine

[He’s Hazardous To My Health Series]

Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Resident!Fem!Reader

< < PART 7 | Series Masterlist

Summary: When you get sick at work, Bucky ensures you’re well taken care of.

Warnings: strictly 18+ due to the AU, reader gets sick at work and collapses, Bucky being worried and an absolute sweetheart while taking care of her

Word count: 1.3k (I know this is just a short one but my plan for the next part is quite long)

A/N: so I’ve been sick in bed all this week with covid and the only thing I’ve wanted is Bucky taking care of me. Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library

Bucky takes the stairs two at a time.

He’s treated many patients in the field who have tripped on steps doing exactly what he is right now, but he doesn’t care.

All he cares about is getting to you.

Bursting out of the stairwell at level two, Bucky searches for the room Wanda quoted to him over the phone. He’s never been to this area of the hospital before, all the corridors and nurses stations look the same, but as soon as he spots her characteristic red hair, he feels respite from the anxious constriction in his chest.

Wanda thanks him for coming so quickly, as if the news that you were ill, collapsed during a shift and now in a hospital bed of your own didn’t send him into a panic and have him rushing here like his life depended on it, before guiding him to where you are.

The room is dark, curtains pulled all the way over the spacious windows, and serenely quiet other than the whizzing mechanical sound coming from the infusion pump connected to the IV inserted in your arm.

You groan when you recognise that it’s Wanda and Bucky who have entered the room.

“Wan, you didn’t have to call him.” Bucky can immediately tell, just by the sound of your unusually hoarse voice, that you’re clearly not well.

“He’s your emergency contact and you are in no state to work nor drive yourself home, so yes, I did have to call him.” Wanda proclaims in a stern, slightly exasperated tone which indicates to Bucky she likely had this same conversation with you multiple times before he arrived.

“Bucky, I’m okay, you don’t have to be here.” You try convincing him, though you’re not very compelling when your sentence ends with a hearty coughing fit.

“If you were fine you wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed coughing up your lungs.” Bucky comments as he makes his way over to beside your bed. You look completely fatigued, struggling to even keep your eyes open.

Bucky’s never seen you look weak before, and the clench of his heart at the sight strongly suggests he doesn’t like it one bit.

“I just need a little rest and some IV fluids, then I’ll be fine to go back to work.” Your words almost sound comical with how raspy and fragile your voice is, but Bucky knows your insistence is a testament to your dedication to your job. “There’s really no reason to be worried.”

“I’m always worried about you.” Bucky mentions in a low tone, for your ears only, before placing a gentle kiss to your burning hot forehead. He takes your hand, your skin clammy against his. “Baby you can’t treat patients when you’re like this, you’re at risk of infecting them. Let me take you home.”

You concede as you lift yourself onto your forearms, sitting up in the bed, not without a dry cough being forced from your lungs by the effort. Bucky winces in response to the gravelly sound and the pain twisting in your face.

He wishes he could take it all away. All your suffering, all the sickness. On the job, Bucky is always able to provide assistance - relief from pain, to reduce bleeding, to ease anxiety. But for the one person in this world he cares about the most, he’s subjected to watching her suffer.

“Could you help please?” Holding out your hand where the catheter for your IV is inserted, you look up at him with helpless, wide eyes which makes Bucky smile and his heart flutter in his chest. It’s always nice to be needed.

Sanitising his hands and pulling on latex gloves, he places a sweet kiss to your knuckles before working to remove the IV, aware of your gaze on his every move.

“There you go darling, all done.” Bucky declares with a kiss to your nose, keeping pressure on your hand with his thumb to stop any bleeding before being able to tape a cotton round to it. “Ready to go home?”

“With you, always.”

Bucky protectively keeps his arm around you the entire way down to the staff parking until buckling you in the passenger seat of your own car, cautious knowing you had a moment of lightheadedness earlier today.

You rest your head against the side window, arms curled around yourself as Bucky begins the short drive to your place, turning the heating up to ensure you don’t get cold now that you are out from under the blankets Wanda had acquired for you.

“So… you made me your emergency contact.” Bucky broaches, having previously been unaware of this fact. He contemplated the reason Wanda called him today is because she knows the two of you are in a relationship, but warmth blooms in his chest at the notion you have officially designated him as the person you want to be contacted in a crisis.

“I changed it about a week ago. It was my mom, but she lives out of state… and I thought you’d probably want to know if something terrible happens to me.” It is probably such a minor thing in a normal relationship, just something which sits unutilised in an employee file, but to Bucky, who works in a profession where emergency contacts are critically important, it feels like an honour bestowed upon him to be appointed as yours. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay, darling.” Bucky smiles as the hand he is not using on the steering wheel comes to rest on your thigh, squeezing gently. “If anything happens to you, I wanna be the first to know, good and bad.”

With a snuffle of your nose and the best smile you can muster given your current energy levels, you interlace your hand with his and say “you’re always the first person I want to tell every piece of good news to, Bucky.”

When you arrive home, the first thing Bucky does is lead you straight to bed and tuck you in with two different blankets and the stuffie he won you during your date to the local carnival which visited town last week.

He gathers all the supplies you’ll need for the rest of the afternoon - cold and flu tablets, a water bottle, tissues and throat lozenges, making sure they’re all within reach of your place in bed. Bucky gently washes your feverishly warm face with a cool, damp face cloth, and insists you take a drink of water to prevent from becoming dehydrated.

Then, when you start to say goodbye, for whatever reason thinking Bucky is going to leave you here to be sick on your own, he pulls his Henley off, and climbs into bed behind you.

“No, Bucky…” You whine, feebly attempting to push him away from lying beside you in bed, which is a new and strange experience for Bucky.

“I think the fever has made you delirious, darling.” Bucky chuckles, taking your hand against his bare chest and covering it with his own as he snuggles even closer next to you.

“You’re gonna get sick too if you stay.” Bucky kisses your chapped lips, to prove that he’s not afraid of being with you whilst you're unwell.

“Baby, I had my tongue down your throat last night. If you’re already sick, I’m bound to get sick too.” Even if he weren’t already fated to contract the same illness as you, he’d take that risk just to fall asleep beside you.

You provide no more protest, surrendering to Bucky’s warm embrace and quickly falling into a deep, recuperative sleep. Bucky watches as your chest rises and falls, treasuring every moment he gets to spend by the side of the woman he loves, even if you are slightly sweaty and phlegmy.

When you both wake the following morning, still tangled in each other, you have matching runny noses, sore throats and dry coughs. The following week is destined to be spent curled up in bed together and taking care of one another. At least you don’t have to suffer alone.

Part nine coming soon

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He’s Hazardous To My Health [Paramedic!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @lavenderpenumbra @crazyunsexycool @eralen @buckbuckyoongs @blackwidownat2814 @crayongirl-linz @ozwriterchick @desert-fern @misshale21 @chalesleclerc164 @rookthorne @janineb86 @emmabarnes @scarletbich @princezzjasmine @thebuckybarnesvault @doasyoudesireandlive @solitarioslilium @iamfandomwasted @tanyaspartak @pop-rocks-818 @dumdidditydumdoo @missvelvetsstuff @kayden666 @amiimar @katheryn1 @safew0rd @kentokaze @thewackywriter @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @badasswlthafatass @loveoldmenlikelana @00cmh @pointless-girl @honeyglee @nerdxacid @ashhsage @prettylittlepluviophile @otomefromtheheart @sjsmith56 @mandijo17 @lokidokieokie @oceansandblackhearts @rebeccapineapple @soorwellystan @excusememrbarnes @lofaewrites @snapcapquartet

[theowritesfiction]

Okay, so since I finished my good Dark Urge playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3, which was also a Minthara romance, I wanted to write a brief meta that literally nobody asked for, mostly just because I know most people have never had Minthara in their party.

I understand that considering everything that happens with the Druid Grove, it’s very easy to dismiss Minthara as a genocidal psychopath, but if you actually peel away the horrors she committed as the mind slave of the Absolute, you get a character that is definitely still very much evil, but becomes way more nuanced than at the first glance. It’s not often that we get ubiquitously evil characters who while remaining cruel and ruthless are still shown as capable of loyalty, devotion and love.  

On loyalty: from the moment you save Minthara from fate worse than death at Moonrise, she is very quick to swear loyalty and commitment to your cause. And sure, you could say that she has selfish reasons for seeking the protection of the Astral Prism. But the same goes for all the tadpoled characters, so to me that’s not a compelling argument. In your chats with Minthara, she makes it very clear that the act of saving her life means a crazy amount to her, and it has earned you her complete trust and loyalty, something that she normally doesn’t extend to others. And, she never breaks your trust and loyalty, as you maybe might expect from an evil character.

On devotion: this crosses over into both loyalty and love, but at times Minthara’s devotion, especially when in romance, almost leans into codependency – although I shouldn’t do armchair psychology. Having played through most of the romances, I would also say that Minthara is definite the most committed partner. She even invokes some drow word that symbolizes soulmates or something. I don’t believe in the concept, but it shows how serious she is. She also is very against any kind of sleeping around once in a relationship, something that other characters are more permissive of. I was very happy to see that they didn’t lean into the trope of evil being associated with sexual promiscuity.

On love: throughout your journeys together, Minthara will often speak about how you should do what the Chosen tried and failed to do – control the Absolute yourselves, enslave the brain and use it to rule the world. She expresses this sentiment very strongly even when you’re about to make your final choice. And seeing how much power means to her, I started to hesitate and became worried that maybe she’d leave my character if I were to destroy the brain and relinquish the power. I was so happy that the writers didn’t take the obvious route there. I definitely got the feeling that Minthara wished I had chosen differently, but she didn’t even nag my character about it. She simply said that we don’t need the Absolute to carve our way to power.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on Minthara, writing a nuanced evil character, and way more than you ever wanted to know about that. 😊  

[arabella-strange]

My friend and I were discussing why c3e118 just did not land for us, and mid-convo she asked me, 'What would you have changed? Where do you wish the story had branched off another way?'

Now, the campaign isn't over and I have been very impressed with how much the cast (including Matt) managed to weave together even very wayward threads in the final ep or two of c1 and especially c2. I'm also not interested in only enjoying fiction which plays out as I would have written it; very much the opposite.

But, given those caveats, here's what she and I imagined in response to her question:

Evacuate all the Ruidians. What if, instead of the mission to re-cage Predathos, BH had been given – or had seized – a humanitarian mission to save all the ordinary citizens of Ruidus? The characters don't like Luda, don't feel up to Predathos, but do want to protect ordinary people from being caught in the crossfire? Okay—let's take that seriously! If c3 is (as I suspect) intended to usher in a new age on Exandria, then the coming of a whole new refugee population from the Red Moon is a fantastic (and almost certain, now) narrative route. SO many fascinating narrative opportunities spring up: How do BH safely and secretly evacuate everyone? How do they live with the guilt if someone gets hurt in the process? How does everyone deal with the different species' jarring for space and resources as they (effectively) scramble for lifeboats off the Titanic? (The Downfall resonances would have been POWERFUL.) How, when they get to Exandria proper, do the various groups of Ruidians settle? Where do they go and what dynamics ensue? ----> But this is, I fear, the reason why CR did not want to or was not willing to explore this option, as such. Because the ethical and logistical problem of what to do with a massive displaced population who have been under an oppressive regime... seems a little on the nose, and (in a more unforgiving mood) risky for the brand. Could it have been a wonderful, poignant, humane, risky, helpful way to imagine the crises of our times? Yeah, IMO, it could. But that's off-screen so far, instead of center-frame.

Debate the checks-and-balances of power. I'm as tired as everybody else of hearing Ludinus talk. But, to me, the kernel of his spiel that actually still has merit is the debate about power. It's not about whether the gods are good, or liars, or both; about whether his trauma is blinding his judgment; it's sure not about Predathos. The most compelling piece is about whether mortal beings should accept a power structure which fundamentally has no checks and balances, no accountability, no mechanism for redress. If we could have had an actual ethical and philosophical debate -- with higher INT characters? more characters who felt strongly about the gods? players who decided to truly immerse their characters in this theme? -- it could have opened up SO many avenues for narrative. Because then, the ethics of new questions become central: What is an acceptable amount and use of power? According to whom, at what cost? What means are acceptable for redressing imbalances and limits of power? (On whose authority? The Concord?) What, moreover, do/should we do when we ourselves are never pure or blameless in exerting power to achieve our goals (after all, it's D&D, they kill people all the time): how do we live with our own choices, and still have meaningful opportunities and options for holding those who misuse or abuse power to account? What happens when someone with an ethical point is willing to do unethical things? Is there anything beyond reproach and, if not, how do we keep the goal of least-harm in compassionate balance with the realities of mortal failings? ----> Once again, I think... either consciously or unconsciously, the c3 we got did not want to explore the implications of all that. It seems like a pretty important area for 2021–2025+, for us to get better at answering these questions with nuance, with openness, with courage. So the fact that we're still just getting debates that boil down to whether Ludinus's ideas suck because he was willing to do horrible things? That could have been THE WHOLE MATTER TO RECKON WITH, and instead it's become a conversational dead-end.

'I wish the ring had never come to me.' In other words, the tragedy of protagonicity. Frodo and Sam show up at Osgiliath, exhausted, sunken with despair, literally unable to stay on their feet, and Sam looks out at the mid-battle desolation and laments, 'By rights, we shouldn't even be here!' [Yes I know this is not the same in the books.] YEAH, exactly!!! It SUCKS to be a protagonist! You wish the ring had never come to you, little nobody hobbit from the Shire??? Yeah, so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. And it's a fucking tragedy, because Frodo is just some guy, he didn't ask to get the ring from Bilbo, he didn't ask to be special, he didn't want to have to trudge onward onward onward and lose himself in the process of saving the world. And yet it's a tragedy, because there's no other way it could go: the choices are to turn your back on the problem and 'leave Middle Earth to its fate,' in which case you suffer once when the world burns and twice when you must accept that you did not do what you could when you could; OR you put one foot in front of the other, you accept that you will be consumed whole by the process of doing the thing that enables the world maybe to survive, and you hate it, and you wish it were otherwise, but you have to try. ----> This is SO CLOSE to the BH situation, and yet, so far. If c3 was always just a bunch of indifferently god-less characters, why haven't we made space and time to explore the horror and the tragedy of this increasingly heavy, deadly, dreadful burden that fell on the most un-invested people? We needed more downtime (as so many of us have said!) to play out scenes with more than just Orym struggling with the powerlessness, the hopelessness, the resentment, the guilt, and in spite of these the determination to keep going. To hate it even in the moment of choosing it. Instead we got bickering, we got waffling, we got shrugging, we got some half-voiced discussions about being wary of having to be the ones to decide (muddled with the power/authority question from #2)... but the feelings of this burden of the least invested people having to go head-to-head with annihilation, we have barely scraped the surface of.

(There's also my personal frustration with the total unknown of Predathos. Huuuge diminishing returns on a Big Bad about which we know nothing, can't discover anything, won't learn anything, just gotta wait for the Big Reveal. It's one of my least fave things about several series of Doctor Who, because at some point, narratively, that threat gets pretty repetitive. Okay, we are all Pandora and we can't know what happens when Predathos gets out, or what it really is, or anything more. Sure. Cool. Fine. But it means we go into this final fight totally bewildered, unprepared, with no possibility of ever having been prepared. If it's not railroading, it's as close to that as an open campaign can get. Maybe Predathos is just Tharizdun, which will at least make some sense but won't change much functionally. But either way, because we didn't do a totally trippy conceptual campaign of 'How do you defeat nothingness itself?', we just have... a fight with... um, something bad which maybe will make sense in retrospect? There's very little emotional pay-off that way, and 118 felt like it had a pretty frustrating lack of sympathetic potential because of precisely this Predathos (TBD) problem.)

//

Like so so so many people have said, I think CR is amazing... AND being amazing does not mean the work should be sacrosanct. Criticism can be useful; critique -- the analytical examination of ideas and their implications -- is vital to our interpretations of art and society. Fiction empowers us to imagine the consequences of things we do not have first-hand experience with, to encounter other perspectives and things outside of ourselves. I'll be very eager to see how c3 wraps up and what insights, when it's done, the whole picture asks us to take away.

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 1: Edelgard/Byleth)

Edelgard: I'm simply having trouble putting this feeling into words. I just felt…I don't know. As if something was drawing me to the Ashen Demon. I wonder… Could it be the influence of my Crest?

The story of 3H pushes Byleth with the lord of each route so hard that it almost felt pointless to add the self-insert dating-sim elements with the other students. In Persona 5, you could date whatever girl you wanted with no effect on the main story. But in 3H, it felt more like Final Fantasy X where there the love story was the main story.

This pairing absolutely felt "canon", at least in CF. As both of them bore the Crest of Flames, I strongly suspect that their relationship was meant to represent the concept of "twin flames". A twin flame is a deep soul connection between two people. They are actually thought to be twin souls inhabiting two bodies. Twin flames seem to mirror one another, have shared similar life paths, history, and sometimes trauma. They are naturally drawn to each other. This description certainly applied to Byleth.

Byleth: Who was your first true love? Edelgard: Hmm. For some reason, I feel compelled to tell you all of these things I have kept hidden. I can't say the name, but it was a noble who I met in the Kingdom, a lifetime ago.

But interestingly, it could apply to Dimitri as well. It is said that one twin flame is supposed to represent the divine masculine half of the soul and the other the divine feminine half. When the masculine and feminine energies of the twins harmonize, the two souls merge and become one.

The "divine feminine" principle is more about charting inner emotional space, while the "divine masculine" principle represents conquering the outer physical world. The characteristics of the divine masculine are logic, rationality, discipline, and assertiveness. The divine feminine is associated with goddess energy. Some of its attributes are intuition, nurturing, loving, and supporting their counterpart.

Edelgard: Professor... You've been crying. So even you cry sometimes. Oh... I suppose that was thoughtless of me to say. Byleth: Yes, it was. Edelgard: Long ago, someone said the same thing to me.

Traditionally, the moon represents divine feminine energy (yin) as opposed to the sun which represents divine masculine energy (yang). Edelgard is cool and collected. She is the active force of the story who wishes to bring about the new dawn. Dimitri is emotional. He is the reactive force whose storyline is symbolized by the moon. You'd expect Edelgard to be a natural yang personality and Dimitri a yin.

But Edelgard was born on the summer solstice as opposed to Dimitri being born on the winter solstice. Edelgard is a Cancer, which is a water sign ruled by the moon. Astrologically, Cancers are associated with yin energy. They are said to have a hard outer shell like a crab but are very soft underneath. Often called the mother of the zodiac, they are known for their deeply emotional and nurturing nature. They form strong attachments to their loved ones and often have a hard time letting go. It is implied that "El" cried when she learned that she'd have to leave the Kingdom. Dimitri was surprised seeing this reaction from her, but it likely influenced his choice of parting gift: a dagger symbolizing the philosophy of the patriarchal Faerghus.

I found it interesting how much Edelgard was displeased by Dimitri's gift. Even at the academy, she prefers if Byleth giver her more traditionally feminine gifts like flowers, a book, or a bear stuffy and she will be unhappy if she is given a weapon. Using a dagger to cut a path has very violent implications, although Dimitri was too young to realize that at the time. He had grown up around blades his whole life and only viewed them as tools of destiny. He wanted to reassure her that they had a future together, as long as she never lost heart. It was meant as a symbol of inner strength, nothing more.

Edelgard: Heh, so you consider me strong, do you? Even if one clings to their faith, the goddess will never answer them. Countless souls will be lost that way. Living without purpose. And I can be counted among those who have died that way as well. But that's why I must change this world, on behalf of the silent and weak! Dimitri: And do you intend to become a goddess yourself? Will you steal the power to take action from the broken-hearted masses you claim to defend?

Cancer's greatest fear is abandonment which can cause them to be clingy. It is implied that El "died" after praying and not receiving any hand reaching out to help her. During her imprisonment, she felt totally alone and forsaken by the goddess. That's when she began to see faith as a sign of inner weakness.

Edelgard was reborn bearing the Crest of Flames. She no longer shed tears and looked to the dagger for strength. Dimitri accused her of trying to supplant the goddess. And while that may not literally be true, perhaps it was true in a figurative sense. CF is about standing firm in your principles and cutting your own path no matter who stands in your way, even the goddess herself.

Dorothea: Is there someone you have your eye on? Edelgard: (Normal): To be honest, there's nothing resembling romance in my life at present. (Has reached Support Rank A with a male): A certain face comes to mind at the thought...though I'm not sure you could call what we have a romance just yet. It's not that I'm disinterested. I'm simply too busy with other endeavors. I have no time to spare for such things.

Ideologically, CF represents the most traditionally masculine path for Byleth to take. Edelgard is drawn to them regardless of gender, what route you choose, and even in Hopes. But she is drawn to their stoic masculine energy and even seemed somewhat disappointed that they were crying after Jeralt's death. Women can certainly embody divine masculine energy and vice versa. Twin flames are not based on biological sex. Overall, the fandom understandably prefers Edeleth with female Byleth for the less stereotypical aspects.

But I found it interesting that even though this very Support conversation implies that Edelgard is bisexual, the dialogue only changes (I tested this myself) if she has A-Support with a male. Edelgard has paired endings with a few other male characters, but not a single one of them has the level of emotional intimacy she has with Byleth. They read like political marriages, while Edelgard truly wanted a passionate romance.

Shez asks about memories of the past. Edelgard: Have I told you about the boy who gave me the dagger? I called him "Dee," which is all I really remember about him.

The tagline for FE3H was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". Dimitri said the day he gifted her the dagger was a sweet memory with a bitter ending. It's unclear why she couldn't recall that Dimitri was her first love. Perhaps when she realized her "fated path" would force her to go to war with someone so special to her, the pain caused her psyche to block out the memories of him and his identity. Who knows.

Edelgard: There was nothing I could do to save him. And so, the very least I could do was— Byleth: Are you crying? Edelgard: No. The Edelgard who shed tears died many years ago. Everything that's happened...it's all just part of the ebb and flow of history.

After Dimitri cursed "El" at the Tailtean Plains, she may have finally realized he was "Dee". In their A-Support, Edelgard admitted that she was actually relieved that Byleth could feel some human emotions like jealousy, but she tells them that they are both "detached" (actually "inhuman" in the JP version). Because of this, Byleth was someone she could relate to. And she does come across as rather inhuman at times. She finally does cry when she thinks Byleth dies, indicating her old self had come back to life in some way. But she was unable to cry when she killed anyone else. Even her old flame.

Edelgard: You called me El. That's... I... That means more than I can say. And this ring... It's lovely. Thank you, my dearest friend. I will happily accept it. I must admit, I feared my feelings would be unrequited. So long as I had you by my side, it never mattered how many enemies I amassed. You were all I needed.

Byleth's Crest and Edelgard's second Crest is the Crest of Flames, which is associated with The World arcana in Tarot. The World represents a successful conclusion after all aspects have been accounted for. Things have come full circle. A journey has been completed. Edelgard believed that the one leading the people of the world should be someone with humanity rather than an inhuman creature like Rhea. But there are two meanings for the word "humanity". One is "the human species" which is obviously what Edelgard meant. But the other meaning is "benevolence".

Byleth & Edelgard Byleth and Edelgard ended the tyranny of a godlike being. Byleth was wounded and lost the power of the progenitor god, but it mattered not, as he/she and Edelgard had each other. To ensure lasting peace, the two fought against those who slither in the dark, and to ensure a society where people can rise and fall by their own merits, they spent their lives reforming the antiquated class system. They achieved much in their time together, and it is said that they were sometimes spotted leaving the palace to privately enjoy the world they had created. How they spent those precious moments, none but the two of them will ever know.

Byleth cuts down Rhea with the sword made from the remains of her dead mother. Upon doing so, they lose the power of the progenitor god. The Crest Stone in their heart is destroyed. Their soul was once merged with the goddess Sothis, but symbolically Edelgard now fills that spot as their twin flame. Byleth's heartbeat returns, and their color goes back to normal.

But their hair color was actually the origin of the nickname "Ashen Demon". So, it leaves you to wonder: Did Byleth truly maintain their humanity until the end? I'm not so sure, but I still really enjoyed how the traditionally masculine aspects of Edelgard's conquest contrasted with the little glimpses of her feminine side that only Byleth could bring out. It is certainly unique romance among JRPGs and one that I won't ever forget.

[frazzledsoul]

So I've been writing and deleting this over and over for the past few days. I didn't want to upset anybody or come off too strongly but I kept thinking and thinking about it, and I needed to get it off my chest or I'd just keep obsessing over it. I guess it's something I still feel strongly about.

The idea that an original content creator should have any influence or input over whether one continues to create or consume fanworks is borderline offensive to me. The idea that one should consider that person's intentions or should refrain from continuing the story in our own way if it upsets the creator's sensibilities is really, really offensive to me. As a practical matter, they cannot look at our work (creators are encouraged if not legally compelled to stay away for plagiarism reasons) and as long as we are not making a profit off of it and are not breaking any laws, we are free to continue the story in any way that we wish. This is why AO3 exists, because there is a long history of capricious creators targeting fans for fanworks. The site is there to protect us because it is not the creator's sphere. It is ours. We do not need their permission to create and they do not need ours. We don't need to respect or even like the creator to continue the story and we certainly don't need to like the story itself. In fact, most fanworks come into being because we hated at least part of it, and wanted to try to make something better.

When it comes to the matter of Amy Sherman Palladino, we certainly do not need to respect her value system, to the extent that she has one. I decided a long time ago that I won't let that woman have any power over any enjoyment I got out of her work or the ways in which I sought better means of writing or enjoying the way other people write her story. I do not believe what she believes.

The story is over, and for the most part fans haven't like most of what she's written since 2006, and yet they keep begging and pleasing for her to come back and write an ending that they'll sure will make them happy. The series ended with a positive future for almost everyone involved and fans said it wasn't good enough. Fans asked for years for her to come back and write the real ending, because only Amy can write an ending that satisfies us. We'll respect anything you give us, Amy. Then we got AYITL and almost everyone hates it. She took away the youth and promise of almost all the characters and robbed them if the futures we wanted for them and undercut the premise of her series with that ending. And yet fans still beg and plead for more. Surely when she writes the second revival, she'll finally give us what we want! We'll respect anything you give us, Amy! It's a destructive cycle that never ends.

This woman has done more than enough damage to these characters over the years. She does not need to write for them again. We certainly don't need her permission to want better futures for them, or to only imagine those futures because it's what she wanted. She doesn't want them to be happy, and she doesn't want the fans to be happy. Her intentions should not ever be something that HAS to control the ways in which we retell her story.

As to why I rejected that woman's value system, it's because the show often felt like it was cribbed from my life before it was written, and once I did find comfort in the values I thought it expressed. I thought it was a story that valued compassion, integrity, loyalty hard work, sacrifice, and general human decency. By the end of season six, it was made clear that ASP found most of those things deeply embarrassing if not downright ludicrous. Her universe was proved to be full of moral rot: the only thing she valued at that point was narcissism, money, and emotional destruction. By the end of that season, Lorelai and Rory used the values that the men in their life held dear against them because it made them feel vindicated in hurting them. Luke dared to prioritize someone other than Lorelai and Lorelai used his loyalty and devotion to his family against him, knowing it would cripple him to know she chose Christopher, but choosing to do so anyway because Christopher would never, ever prioritize his daughters over her. Rory used both Jess and Logan's love for her in order to try to use one against the other: she knew that trampled over Jess's boundaries and beliefs in doing so, and yet she attempted it anyway. And ASP defended this as a moral good because Logan deserved to be hurt! (Rory expresses zero remorse about trying to hurt HIM). At least Rory felt bad about it and acknowledged Jess's worth as a person in doing wrong, but the morality of her actions never comes into play. And as for Lorelai? I would love for her to be one of those flawed characters who actually accepts responsibility for her actions, but she almost never is that person when ASP is writing her. The most important lesson ASP had to convey is that nothing in the world matters as much as what makes Lorelai Gilmore feel better, and the people that she hurts certainly never matter as much as her feelings do.

And apart from all that bullshit, I can't help remembering that Lorelai and Rory rejected the decent, dependable, loyal men in the story for the rich, charming Lotharios with a recent history of betraying them. That rejection may have been necessary in Jess's case (because Milo didn't want to participate in this charade anymore), but it does seem that ASP was arguing that Luke and Jess and all of their goodness didn't mean as much as money and charm. They were never, ever going to be good enough. And you know what? Lorelai and Rory hurt the people they chose, too. I feel ASP is as immune to the consequences of that as she was the the overall classist message she was sending here. Money and charm are to overrule all. Well, what if they don't?

So, yeah. I reject that belief system and the way she told me that everything I hold sacred in the world is essentially meaningless and not worth honoring. I've spent a lot of time in my adult life living out the consequences of the emotional destruction that Lorelai and Rory wrought so easily and in Lorelai's case, without shame or remorse (I don't think ASP would have ever let her apologize for what she did). I've spent a very, very long time cleaning up the mess that gets left behind. So no. I do not respect the message that this kind of shit is in any way justifiable.

So any attempt I make in my piddling fanfiction career, or all the shit I write on this hellsite, or even the stories I seek out, always is going to be a repudiation of the story as it was originally told. I am not interested in that story and I have zero interest in letting its implications control the one I prefer.

Gilmore Girls is not a comfort show for me. However, its fanworks are. It is important to me that they are not the same thing.

[sangre]

heh 😏

the magician,  the hierophant, the lovers,  justice, the world for catarina & his guardian 🙈

major arcana headcanon prompts / ask.

ty SO MUCH naomi i got so excited when i saw this ask. HEE HEE! guardianstuff 😳🙈 SDBHKGSDFKHB

the magician – how does your muse feel about fate? do they believe they can change their own destiny?

i don't think catarina believes in fate so much as she believes in cycles? there are cycles of everything. like karma, the dragon whose blood supplements her family's lineage. what goes around comes around – she adheres to that a lot in life and believes that people always, always get theirs. things come in threes. the more things change the more they stay the same. people repeat themselves. in some way or another, there's always a cycle of something.

but because destiny isn't really something he expects to chart the course of his life, he strongly believes in the power of like... decisiveness and strength of character/conviction. you choose the future and the path you walk, for the most part. to that end, sometimes she'll help instigate 'karma' according to her own judgement. and the same applies to the whole of her life, i think. where she sees fit to but in, she probably will. if she didn't believe she could change her lot in life, i don't think she would make the journey post-tadpole in the first place; she definitely sees herself as capable of like... doing something. if this doesn't end the way she wants it to, she at least did her damnedest to get close.

and naturally, i think her guardian is compelled by a sort of pragmatic approach to changing the tide of fate. in their own ways, they're both sort of hellbent on mending their own wounds before the world can get any worse for them (and others consequentially).

cont. / 5

the hierophant – what are your muse’s morals / ethics? do they follow their moral code strictly?

OH MAN!!! it's definitely chaotic neutral for a reason. she has a sort of personal code she adheres to... in terms of being very protective of innocence, he won't let certain things go unpunished/ignored. that said, catarina can be a little selective in terms of what justice means in different corners of his life. i think in times of really great despair or considering the greater good, he tends to look ahead rather than into specifics. he doesn't make excuses for shitty choices, he just has his own priorities and has VERY little care for what others think of him.

it's like. yes she will follow her own beliefs but probably not to a hard T – there are grey areas (like. Late Game Stuff has grey areas that he's like. Well that's awful. That's an awful lot in life. But I can't save everybody and make everything right. There's a whole world at stake.) there are things that haunt him but never ones that are trivial. she holds herself to pretty high standards and has trouble forgiving herself for losses she tried to prevent, though. it's like this deep and turbulent sense of guilt that's been buried 7 leagues under the sea and goes unaddressed.

i think it's because of his carried, quiet sense of guilt that almost no one sees that the guardian can reach him emotionally in the first place. like... he disarms it and reassures her. it's not your fault the world is wicked. is that for his own good? is it for hers? to her, she knows what he's doing. they have to work together, and catarina suspects he's being used as a means to an end from the beginning. but there's this looming tenderness that i think sort of neither of them know what to do with. like. you've saved me and i'm your sword and this is going to hurt but then why do you let me in like this. YOU KNOW. the guardian inspires a lot of like. catarina's urge to be saved. and he knows that obviously. so even as she resents him for it... onward they move. and sometimes the rules get bent for the sake of that to keep poisonously blooming.

the lovers – how important are relationships to your muse? do they value having a significant other?

catarina grew up in a HUGE family like huge (so many brothers) and her parents' marriage is one full of love. two of her elder brothers got married before she even left home and they're like very fulfilled/have a strong sense of love and judgement and she sees it as a very like... when your life is settled down you'll know what you want/you'll know what's right for you. he's had quite a few flings so far but nothing very serious. i think she had a very sweet significant other about 10 years ago but it didn't last very long? like... it was too sweet and not quite fast enough and didn't do it for her.

me making this character in the bare bones stage like: yeah there's no way idk what to do she feels doomed to end up in a mcr romance (and obviously got one). she's not dependent on love, never has been, has been perfectly fine not falling in love and didn't see it for herself for a while in fact! but. The weight of desire when it disgusts you and you're digging your own hole that is not your grave and so on.

buuuuuuuttt likeeeeee GBHKDSGSD:LFKSGL:K

yeah he falls in love:( and it's like the best and worst possible thing. illustrious codependency woohoo! they become inextricable from each other! but catarina at least finds comfort in that she's not alone. her guardian didn't intend for it to wind up what it is, either. it's important for her to turn that measure of control he wields on its head. she likes him vulnerable 🤔. i digress

tl;dr catarina def has like fable-adjacent dragon tendencies. she is possessive and greedy and delights in whimsy with her pretty shiny thing. so he wasn't seeking to add to a hoard but when u find a jewel what are u gonna do... Leave it.... When It's Making Sure U Don't Turn Into a Mindflayer... Give Me a Break

justice – does your muse find it easy to be impartial in emotional situations?

not at all. he's relatively course/stoic in terms of disposition but high tension makes his temper flare. he's not the one to find if you need a cool head. catarina is like... more likely to breathe fire than to make sense. i think the guardian is her voice of reason (when he's not urging him to EAT WORM). he's a lot more realistic than she is when there's a lot at stake. her resistance melts and she throws tiffs.

the world – is there one thing in life that your muse must accomplish? what will they do when they complete that goal?

i think catarina's goal is more like his birthright, which is to protect the vestige her family watches over. he has to live and die making sure that thing stays safe and cared for. being the most draconic of her brothers she feels the most connected to it as well, so that definitely plays a part too! otherwise, i think her ambitions rest more in seeing what more the world has to offer, and assuring her family's security and happiness. he tries not to think too hard ahead, or about the end. an everlasting ambition is more comfortable.

his guardian is... trying to protect the world from absolute destruction, heheG:JSDGLKSHDF. once things settle down, i really do not know what either of them will make of that. i haven't beaten the game so i'm not even sure where to start 😂 BUT i think! they have things to work through. afterward. ASAP. GG to them. time to go hiking in Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage: Magma Cone world.

[itspileofgoodthings]

A Jonathan Byers Meta

I’ve been thinking so much about Jonathan Byers and I have some thoughts (again). (Feel free to reblog if you want but please be nice if you do so!) Jonathan is a person whose core trait, one of them at least, is that he responds so strongly to context and specifically to the kind of context he understands and wants, a trait of many oldest siblings I think. And in that context he can be so many things he is not necessarily in every area of his life. So much of that forward moving momentum he has in the first couple episodes of the show where he’s doing so much so powerfully is caused by it being a context he understands and has chosen to embrace and live out to the fullest- the context of him being the most responsible/capable member of the family. He loves Joyce and Will; he hates Lonny and is going to keep him away from his family at all costs; he considers himself the one in charge. And there is a softness and strength to that that feels absolutely luminous, that feels like nothing can shake it. And so as the show goes on and the lens widens to include more characters and perspectives it feels like Jonathan loses power/feels a little lost/drifts out of the center of the story. And for a long time I considered that a failure of the writers. They paid attention to him at the beginning, I thought, but then dropped him and that wasn’t his fault. But I rewatched Stranger things (seasons 1 and 2) this past spring and actually the thing I saw that surprised me is it makes sense on a character level that he loses that central ground and power so to speak because he is put into a context he no longer really understands or just as importantly doesn’t really want to be in. And yeah I’m talking about his dynamic with Nancy. His dynamic with Nancy in those first few seasons confused me the most and for the longest time because it began so powerfully and then felt like it veered off course. I loved it so much, shipped it so completely, and then lost interest as the show goes. And again I blamed that on the writers (in a way I still kind of do because they’re clumsy but more on that in a minute.) But I think there’s more going on on a character level.

The first beats of Nancy and Jonathan’s story feel so powerful because it’s actually part of that same context of compelling power in which we first meet Jonathan (and if you’re me fall in love with him fast). Will is missing and Nancy steps in to not exactly his place in Jonathan’s family but the position he occupied--and that’s because a) she is trying to solve a problem that is connected with Will’s disappearance, b) she needs help while doing so. Jonathan responds to that context effortlessly and powerfully. He joins forces with her and without any question or hesitation takes care of her physically when she’s in danger. It’s surprising and it’s moving and it feels at first like just an extension of that quiet competence and force of personality we witnessed in the first couple episodes but this time in a romantic context. But actually, it still isn’t romantic with him. It isn’t for him for a long time. Basically until the writers force his hand. And that’s because ---and this SHOCKED me when I rewatched the first two seasons a month ago, almost to the point of anger and quitting the show forever--the show never actually succeeds in establishing that he likes Nancy as a person! It’s clear that the writers intend the audience to pick up on that subtext (or I think it’s clear that that’s what they want) but they bungle it badly if so. The actual basic cues that would tell us Jonathan has a crush on Nancy and have us buy it as a believable emotional experience are missing. There isn’t a scene or even a moment where in any way Jonathan expresses any kind of romantic interest in Nancy at the beginning of the show. It’s not part of the establishing his character. His reasons for taking pictures at the party are muddled from the perspective the show is trying to force and it doesn’t work because all Jonathan has done is be vaguely polite to Nancy at school, caught her eye (quite frankly ACCIDENTALLY that one time), and disappeared down the hallway at the speed of light every time she turns around. She was far more intrigued than he was. The show gives us that moment with tears in his eyes where we’re supposed to believe (I think?????) that he’s so upset she’s with Steve but it’s incongruous and feels so weird and jarring you kind of have to throw it out. Because the show hasn’t done any work of telling us why that would be the case at all. No pining gaze! No mention! No conversation! The conversation they have in the hallway doesn’t communicate longing on his part, only a desire to be away from the cool kids. There isn’t even a time where someone else teases him about his crush on Nancy, the easiest way to introduce the fact of one character liking another. It’s not much of a stretch to believe that he hasn’t really thought about Nancy romantically at all. In fact it’s honestly a stretch to think he does. And there other reasons for his being there that make more sense--though I do think it’s bungled from a writing perspective. He misses Will, he’s out looking for Will, photography is his passion (lol), he doesn’t like the cool kids, he stumbles on their party “eh might as well take a picture and be the cool outside observer that he is.”

And because the writers didn’t give us a clear and unambiguous liking of Nancy from Jonathan as a starting point everything that comes after between them, even romantically or romantically-adjacent in that first season, hits differently once you watch it patiently and closely. It becomes clear that all of Jonathan’s care-taking of her is response not to her as a person he is romantically interested in, but response to context, to being the responsible one, the helper. He gets out her sleeping bag and puts it on the floor because he’s really not thinking with any part of his brain about how he’s in the room of the girl he likes. Because he’s not! He’s there as a larger part of the context the show established for him in the first couple episodes--his family, his role as caretaker. And of course that doesn’t mean that Jonathan couldn’t fall in love with her later just because the story never actually established that he liked her romantically when it thinks it does. Of course that could come later, come OUT of their interactions. but .... it doesn’t. It never really comes through. The most powerful part of their story together is the first part because it’s the only time in their relationship where Jonathan is moving with that characteristic firm decision making and competence. He’s very powerful when he’s saving her life. But everything else feels flat. And part of that is because he’s not a person who changes easily or very much at all. There are things about him that feel powerful and real and RIGHT and then there are things that just feel like him doing what the writers want him to do and those aren’t the same. Everything having to do with Nancy romantically feels like the second thing, like something the writers are making them do. The show even has to use Murray to get their romance actually jump-started because these aren’t really characters electrically drawn together. And so some of the stuff he says, the romantic stuff--it’s easy to handwave. And/or to find other reasons. And no this doesn’t have anything to do with shipping bias, though my shipping has been influenced by paying close attention to his behavior and actions. Because despite the power of Charlie Heaton in a gray sweater backlit by the red light of the darkroom with his hair falling over his face, nothing about it hits the way a Jonathan emotion should hit. And it should hit! The right stuff does! He’s brilliantly and truthfully acted and he’s layered and the right Jonathan moments SING. He’s not really a talker, not fundamentally, he doesn’t show his heart that way but in actions and only some of his actions with Nancy, the ones that really are just part of the context he’s comfortable with, really ring true. The point that I’m trying to get at is that when you look at those first few episodes really closely, emotionally there are only really three things that are actually--in character and in truth-- established about Jonathan’s heart. 

They are. One- he loves Will. Will is his person, his world, the center. The one he’s always going to protect first, think about first. Will tells us he doesn’t have friends and Jonathan protests it but that probably came from somewhere. His favorite person in the WORLD is Will. The context of Will’s disappearance highlights that so clearly of course but I think we’d see it even without that. The second thing is that he loves Joyce but he doesn’t particularly trust her judgment, considering himself more of an authority on what this family needs than she does. This establishes a distinguishing quality in him, a pickiness and choosiness and prickliness that is essential. He won’t love blindly and he certainly won’t let just anyone in. (When he says he doesn’t like people we should maybe perhaps believe him and not pass him off as a secret softie.) Joyce is part of his inner circle (I love their relationship a lot actually) but he is not uncritical even of her. This is someone who likes to keep people out because this is someone who doesn’t have endless patience for people and the way they do things. He wants things HIS WAY. His way is domestic and so is the context- he’s frying an egg and it feels so homey and good you want to say he’s a softie and a cinnamon roll- but it comes out of a character who knows what he wants. And the third thing, hilariously enough, is that he hates Steve! Somehow the Duffer brothers DO establish this in a far more convincing way than they establish him liking Nancy. He tells Nancy “he doesn’t like most people” and this is true but Steve is a little bit of an exception in a worse way, as the leader of the popular kids. He’s the figurehead for all that Jonathan dislikes and despises and wants to keep out of his inner circle. The fight that Jonathan and Nancy have in the woods feels far more about his disdain for the cool kids than it does about him really liking her and wanting to rescue her from that. The nerd lecturing the girl who wants to be cool and telling her she’s better than that is a stupid trope and one far less romantic than it thinks it is but because the show has established, intentionally or not, that Jonathan doesn’t really care about Nancy romantically all that comes through in a truthful way is that he doesn’t like popular kids. That emotion, that dislike and almost disdain that lives at Jonathan’s core, is expressed far more authentically than any warmth towards Nancy and it’s so telling that it’s that dislike that collides with the other strongest feeling of his life, loving Will, and leads him to half-killing Steve in the street. The warmest Jonathan ever acts towards Nancy is the warmth of context and the warmth of Will (in his absence) and when those reasons fall away you’re left with something curiously cold. And Jonathan, when he loves, is not a cold person. He’s not a chill person. And so watching him do things like give Will Nancy’s gift to him (a hilarious moment), make Nancy leave out the window (actually very dark and strange considering that Joyce knows they’re sleeping together), literally forget Nancy exists when Will comes back and it’s him and Joyce and Will again, ---you can try to tell yourself that that’s just how he loves. But it isn’t. Because we know his warmth in his hatred and in his loves. And for Nancy it really is just kind of “ehhh.” It’s indifference. 

tl,dr; the show thinks that it’s telling a convincing love triangle for sure. But because they don’t establish liking Nancy as a person as part of his character early enough and because he isn’t a character whose fundamental traits change or change easily they don’t actually build a convincing enough romance. It’s because Jonathan is a person who responds to context, even the wrong one, and because Nancy has her own journey and insecurities to work through (a different meta) they stay together for a long time. But it isn’t satisfying and it doesn’t work because it doesn’t actually strike deep enough in Jonathan’s heart. It’s not a context he really wants at his core. If he falls in love it’ll have to be with someone he wants to allow right into the very center of his life and heart and right now he’s not interested in anyone being in that place except his family. And so because he’s kind of stuck in this situation (of his own choosing, I’m not absolving him of that) because Jonathan likes routine and to keep doing the same things and is not self-motivated in the most powerful way to be able to get out of this romance—-he drifts to the edges and stops really doing anything interesting at all. He starts doing pot, won’t go visit Nancy on her spring break etc. He’s not really the boyfriend he could be in any way because I think fundamentally he doesn’t want to be. And the show may put other words in his mouth about this, I kNOW that the show doesn’t completely agree with everything I’ve written here. But it seems to me the only true way to read him in light of what he actually does and how different it is when he’s acting with his whole heart and when he’s not. 

[slashbitch2]

Lying To Her Love

i noticed there were no fics for lorraine and felt i had to remedy that

also no hate to ed he's a dilf

Lorraine wasn't really sure what prompted her to stray from the group. Conjecture would be the only way to describe it: a sudden desire to distance herself from Ed, to explore the house alone. A new feeling had also arisen deep inside, in her chest if she had to place it, similar to a compass. Like there was an internal needle pointing in the direction she was supposed to go, and she chose to trust this instinct. Though thus far her inference skills had brought about nothing but terrifying situations.

And unfortunately, it seemed this time would be no different...

The needle slowly spun round to point out a set of stairs leading down toward the basement. A layer of dust had settled upon each step, indicating that no one had ventured down so far, which only served to intrigue her further. How, in a paranormal investigation, had no one thought to check the basement? As she drew closer, Lorraine realised there was a very faint set of footsteps. They were too imperceptible to have been made recently, yet the house had supposedly been uninhabited since the disturbances began over a week ago.

Had it not been for the very insistent compass directing her down, the footsteps would've been convincing enough. Careful not to unsettle the evidence, she began to descend down the staircase, one hand tracing along the brick wall as if to ground herself in reality. With each step she could feel a weight bearing down on her chest, a dizzy wave rushing over her. At one point the sensation grew so overwhelming that she had to pause and close her eyes. Whilst stood still, the strange pressure that had been building up in her ears reached its peak. Without opening her eyes, Lorraine knew she'd crossed over to one of her prescience visions.

However, when she eventually did open them, it was to find everything exactly as she'd left it. There were no indications that anything had changed, except for the familiar feeling that she was watching through someone else's eyes. Or rather, watching what someone else wanted her to. She'd been brought here for a reason, and by god she was going to get to the bottom of this. Reinvigorated by a new determination, she practically skipped past the last few steps and onto the cold basement floor.

Here Lorraine found the first confirmation that she was no longer in reality: natural light flooding in from no visible source. It was a welcomed change from the gloom of late evening she'd left behind, but only made her more weary of whatever she was about to encounter since it was clearly trying to lure her into a false sense of security. Nonetheless, she cautiously ambled further into the open space. In fact, it was eerie how empty the room was. Usually she'd be climbing over piles of abandoned objects, trying to give equal attention to each one which often invoked fabrications of the mind. However, here there was nothing for her brain to work with, save for the occasional movement out the corner of her eye that she knew was nothing more than fiction to fill the void and warrant her apprehension.

By the time she'd reached the opposite end of the room, nothing yet had occurred to explain why she'd been dragged into this particular vision. And then, an abrupt, horrifying possibility dawned on her. What if she was stuck here?  It had never happened before, but then again, in most cases 'the cause' would've revealed itself by now.

Although, with this realisation came another equally strange one. Lorraine could feel no fear, no panic, no negative emotions. All she was aware of was complete relaxation. Even her most horrific memories and upsetting images couldn't create any response. They were nothing but distant stories told by a different version of her. The positive aura filling the room started to shift into something else, into an almost crippling pleasure. It was both intense and insufficient. She found herself clutching at her stomach, as if she'd suddenly been made aware of an incapacitating emptiness. She longed for company, yet the idea of returning to reality appeared an incredibly unappealing one. Instead, Lorraine wanted to fall further into this dreamlike pleasure.

But that was what it wanted.

With great difficulty, and an exclamation of discomfort, Lorraine turned on her heels to begin her escape. Though she halted upon catching sight of a figure stood before her. She compelled herself to push past the profound ache lingering in her gut, standing up straight to face this mysterious being. Here she came across the second confirmation that this wasn't reality, not that she needed it anymore. You were indescribably beautiful, radiating a sort of divine light like an alluring beacon of possibility.

Most spectres or demons Lorraine met were the opposite. They enveloped the light around them, constructed a dark gap in which there was nothing but pain and regret. They represented everything that couldn't be. A screaming phantom that reminded her to appreciate life.

But you-

You represented all that could've been without any guilt or anguish. You emanated both warm nostalgia and burning desire, the effects of which were palpable for anyone who could tune into the energy, and Lorraine was being strongly subjected to it. Though first and foremost, she had a job to do.

She swallowed, refocused her attention to the task at hand. "Why-" Another wave of dizzying desire washed over her. She tried again. "Why are you-" The world around her was spinning. She blinked rapidly to try stave off vertigo, but stumbled anyway.

A cool reprieve from the searing pleasure caught hold of her. Using the embrace for support she stabilized herself only to come face to face with you.

Despite your overpowering influence on her, you appeared surprisingly human up close. Normal enough to blend in with reality, but sufficiently attractive to be memorable. Still there was something irresistible to your appearance that encouraged Lorraine to sink further into your hold, to move her hands to wrap around the back of your neck. She hadn't felt so loved since early on in her relationship with Ed...

Ed.

She shouldn't be doing this. Her marriage commitment ought to have her fighting against you- but that was practically inconceivable. Besides, how could something morally wrong feel so right? No, this wasn't infidelity. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but not that. She would never cheat on Ed.

The temptation was intoxicating. Lorraine's hands started to trace patterns along any available skin, savouring the unfamiliar yet exhilarating sensation. You weren't a living breathing person so there was something different about the way you felt that she was eager to investigate. In response to her caress, you brought one hand up to cup her cheek, maintaining intimidating yet intimate eye contact. The touch emitted pure pleasure and Lorraine gasped as she leant into the contact. Time seemed to slow as neither moved, opting to stare at the other in silence instead.

She was vaguely aware that time moved differently in her visions. That the longer she spent in one, the more time had passed upon return. Though currently it was the least of her worries. All she could focus on right now was you and the close proximity that appeared to be narrowing still. Your gaze had dropped to the lower half of her face. Lorraine did the same, her eyes fixating on your lips. However, before you closed the gap she raised a hand, motivated by a new desire. She was shaking slightly, but ignored it to gently brush a finger along your lips. She wanted a taste of the upcoming kiss, and was pleasantly unsurprised. As expected, the touch only reasserted her conviction.

She'd never wanted anything- anyone- as much as she did now.

Suddenly your mouth was upon hers, bringing cooling bliss with it. Lorraine moaned. She felt again a rush of possibilities, the surging tide of everything that could be. The muted uncertainty at the back of her mind blurred into nothingness as she clung onto you. Your mouth was the only solid thing in a swaying world, and she planned on indulging herself in the addictiveness of it. She parted her lips, provoking insatiable tremors along her nerves and another rush of giddiness. She felt young, as if she were experiencing intimacy for the first time again.

Your hands were everywhere, carrying an influx pleasure. She'd never felt anything quite like it. Time became irrelevant, everything except you was meaningless. She was lost to an eternity of bliss, in a realm of endless fulfilment. It was incomprehensible, otherworldly.

And then it was over.

She hadn't noticed she was lightly crying, or trembling so much. Or that she was on the ground. You'd simply disappeared and she'd collapsed. But someone was holding her now, someone else.

"Lorraine!" Ed was crouching before her, gently shaking her out of the dreamlike state and back to consciousness. She'd never loathed him so much for saving her.

"What happened?" He asked, lowering to meet her eyes. "Are you okay?"

She scoffed, her mind trying to comprehend all that'd just happened. She was left reeling from the sudden weight of Ed's touch and separated from him. "I'm fine." Her voice barely breached a whisper.

"Did you see anything?"

Lorraine finally met his eyes, but she couldn't tell him.

"No." She answered. "There's nothing here." She lied.

[shysublimecoffee]

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that this discussion isn’t meant to be an attack. My words might come across as strong, but I don’t intend to criticize you personally or make you feel bad, especially to the Original Poster.

There's something to be said about how some fans, particularly those who criticize Adrien, go to great lengths to scrutinize every interaction he has, nitpicking and criticizing him for not perfectly aligning with their expectations. Adrien is genuinely one of the kindest male leads, yet people still find reasons to have issues with him. Anyone who claims that Adrien lacks empathy either hasn't watched the show closely or is twisting his character to fit a negative narrative. Take the "high road" speech regarding Lila, for instance—a stance I actually agree with. He saw right through Lila's motives, understood the situation, and yet the "Chameleon salt" was ridiculous. And don’t get me started on the fanfiction—people will write an entire saga based on one episode vilifying him that wasn’t even that bad or serious, turning other male characters into her "prince charming" like some overblown male fantasy.

It's wild because if you're pointing fingers at someone lacking empathy, it should be the main lead and heroine. If you think Adrien is the one lacking empathy, I strongly disagree. This is the same character who gave Marinette the confidence to become Ladybug, constantly supported her, and was always there for her. In contrast, Marinette, who has been a poor partner and kept secrets from Chat Noir, seems to struggle with empathy. I think Marinette relates to people in a "self-absorbed" way, meaning she can only understand a situation if she somehow makes herself part of it. This causes her to approach issues from a skewed perspective and she's very controlling, where the actual problem doesn’t get properly addressed. It’s a compelling character flaw that, in my opinion, hasn’t been fully fleshed out in the show and never will because of "protagonist-centered morality."

If Marinette were as empathetic as some claim, what about her decisions in "Ephemeral" and teaming up with Luka behind Chat Noir’s back? Or how she tries to reconcile Chloe and her toxic mother? If Marinette had true empathy, she'd understand these situations better, but it seems like she’s avoiding confronting the possibilities when it comes to do for anything with Chat Noir even simple communication or that the world is more shades of gray than in black and white that not everyone has good parents. She’s almost become a second but kinder Gabriel. Whenever CN dares to show emotions , she can’t handle it. But when he’s a doctile people-pleaser, suppressing his own submission for hers, he becomes the ideal partner she wants to keep.

Adrien, a manipulator or gas-lighter? Why on earth are you attaching such heavy, damaging labels to someone who is clearly a victim? It’s disgraceful, honestly, that anyone would even have the audacity to do so. If you’ve watched the show or even Season 5, you’d know those terms apply to Gabriel Agreste, not Adrien. And let’s not pretend Marinette, Felix, Kagami, or Nathalie are completely innocent either. Adrien’s autonomy has been ripped from him, his life controlled and manipulated, and yet people have the nerve to paint/cast him as the villain?

It’s strange, too, because Chat Noir is the heart of this operation while Ladybug is more of the brain. And if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that Adrien has increasingly taken on the role of the heroine in later seasons. Remember It's Adrien wearing the dress in this relationship and being saved by Knight Marinette. The dynamic has shifted , and this whole "lack of empathy" argument falls flat when you realize it's a role reversal of what we usually get from other shows happening here. Yes, Adrien has flaws, but what’s truly infuriating is how those flaws are constantly suppressed, twisted, or outright ignored to cater to Marinette. It’s as if the entire fandom—and even Astruc and the writers—have collectively agreed that Adrien exists solely to serve her narrative, with his own struggles and complexities swept under the rug.

I’m going out on a limb here, but maybe some of you are projecting way too much onto Marinette—like she’s your self-insert. It’s insane how, just like in the show, Adrien’s tiny faults are blown out of proportion, scrutinized to hell and back by the audience, while Ladybug’s flaws are conveniently overlooked. Why? It’s almost as if you’re Gabriel, demanding Adrien be the perfect male lead, without a single flaw. He may be the designated love interest, but he’s a character in his own right, with his own struggles—struggles that are arguably far worse. I hate playing the suffering Olympics, but it’s true—he’s literally become her therapist in Season 5. What more do you want from him? He has no one to lean on besides Plagg, while Ladybug is surrounded by an entourage of yes-men and women. He’s isolated, forced to bear the weight of his world alone, while she’s propped up at every turn.

If anything, Marinette/Ladybug doesn’t deserve him.

People are absurdly sensitive to any mistake Chat Noir or Adrien makes in the show, to the point of claiming, “He has no empathy,” or labeling him a manipulator—labels that completely contradict his character. It’s insane how they demonize him for things that simply aren’t there, driven by an unreasonable need to find fault where none exists. The sheer lack of media literacy in this fandom is staggering, especially when it comes to distorting the narrative to fit their own fantasies. If this were AO3 or Fanfiction, sure, you’d have free rein to craft your version of Adrien. But newsflash: your fanon Adrien and canon Adrien aren’t even remotely alike or similar.

The entire Love Square started because, from the very beginning, it was Adrien's kindness that touched Marinette's heart. In "Origins," it wasn’t his looks that drew her in, although they were mentioned often throughout the show she's thirsty lol —it was the moment when he offered her the umbrella as a sincere gesture of apology. That simple act of kindness was what truly made her see him for the first time. Adrien recognized Marinette’s discomfort and took action to ease it, offering her the umbrella not just as an apology, but as a way to connect with her on a human level. It's his ability to understand and respond to others' emotions that defines his character, showing that empathy is at the very core of who he is despite what anyone in the audience says otherwise. He's had a rough and terrible home life but that never stopped him from being a good boy and trying to reach out to others we have to commend him for that!! And I'm tired of being the only one to see it. He's a strong kid.

What’s next? Adrien was cruel for laughing at her? How dare he! 😂 (sarcasm, obviously). This fandom honestly.. is something.

I’ve been thinking about how Adrien is generally not an empathetic person. He’s well mannered and generally nice but I’ve yet to see him share a moment of vulnerability with someone that wasn’t about himself. There were the times he’s given Ladybug pep talks but he never seems legitimately concerned for her emotional well-being, simply smiling after she hugs him instead of showing any interest in why she was feeling the way she was and how he could help her. He literally felt the pressure she’s under every day and didn’t feel any need to change himself to help alleviate it. Of course, a large portion of empathy is learned and he hasn’t had great examples and sometimes people just don’t have the energy to genuinely care and all that but the point remains: Adrien rarely thinks about other people’s feelings. Despite how it sounds, this isn’t a criticism of him, just an observation.

[juniperhillpatient]

jet and azula both are manipulators and leaders, one uses fear the other love(?)

jet is all about liberation, azula about control

azula is a colonizer, jet is an anti-colonizer

okay... (for blog organization, in reference to this)

Jet & Azula are both manipulators & leaders. Notice how you used the term 'manipulator' there?

Merriam Webster under 'manipulate' okay - 'to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means, especially to one's own advantage.'

Look, I love Jet because he's a bit of a flawed asshole - most of my faves are. Jet & Azula both 100% included. I often get bored with characters that are too perfect, fiction is about conflict. Jet is a manipulator & can be cold & calculating, just like Azula, but for different reasons.

It's not a condemnation, it's part of his character. Jet uses his charisma & good looks to trick Katara into being part of a plan she would never have agreed to. Sure, when confronted with someone who doesn't like Jet I'll jump on the "Jet's never done anything wrong in his life actually" train because I love him & want to defend him & I DO think his behavior in the context of the war is sympathetic. But also, in terms of honestly analyzing his character, he's morally gray & far from a saint. Jet has a lot of anger & a tendency to try & solve his problems with violence. This is part of what makes him a compelling character, denying it is boring.

While I DO understand your argument about Azula being a colonizer & part of the nation responsible for Jet's trauma, by that logic Zuko, Mai & Ty Lee also should've never become friends with the gaang. Maybe you feel they shouldn't have, I don't know your full opinion, but if that's the case we're losing a common thread of where to connect because Zuko's redemption arc & eventual befriending of the gaang is pretty core to the narrative of the entire show. Not saying it was 100% perfectly written, but it is a core aspect of the story.

Avatar as a story is big on forgiveness & healing & capacity to change. To an extent, I understand why some fans are frustrated by the sympathy given to characters like the fire siblings. I actually strongly agree that Jet should have been portrayed more sympathetically by the narrative & that he deserves healing & forgiveness too. I just think (& this part is almost definitely about to get me cancelled by some people) that sometimes when the Fire Nation characters are so harshly condemned by a portion of the fandom that even the idea of someone traumatized by the war reconciling with any of them is abhorrent, we're losing the thread of the fantasy world & the narrative of the story. Zuko & Aang learning to work together is a huge part of the story & Aang is the last survivor of a genocide committed by the Fire Nation. Zuko rejects Fire Nation ideology & his father's ways (there are no comics in Ba Sing Se ok) & learns to be a kinder person working toward a new age of peace.

Why shouldn't Azula be given that same chance?

Anyway, Azula & Jet's complicated dynamic is, can't emphasize this enough, part of why I love them. You're exactly correct. Azula is a colonizer & imperialist & Jet is an anti colonizer & a rebel fighter. He has a pessimistic view of the war effort overall & a violent hatred for the Fire Nation. Azula has an unfavorable view of people she considers below her & considers the Fire Nation perfect. In canon, could they ever reconcile? Post-war, I think perhaps if Azula learned to change her ways like her brother did. I tend to write alternate universes but these two would still have vastly differing opinions & it would lead to conflict. In every fic with a focus on their dynamic that I've ever written, they have a rather contentious friendship with a lot of arguments. Because that kind of dynamic is interesting & fun to me.

TLDR: Sure, & this would create conflict but also pretending Jet is morally pure isn't true to his character either & also I just think Azula & Jet have a lot of similarities that would make it interesting to see them interact

[thefools-journey]

So. Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t written a whole ton about the secondaries or what have you. Here’s the reason: we were waiting for them to end before we really dug into the problems we were noticing. We felt that it was only fair to wait for the routes to finish so that we had an understanding of the writers’ vision. Who knew, we thought, maybe they would see the problems themselves and course correct, maybe they are building to something we can’t quite see yet and these issues will have actual payoff, maybe-

In light of Muriel and Lucio’s endings, and the general mess that has dominated Portia’s route for a year plus now, we are breaking our silence. We are actually going to talk about this shit show.

The fandom at large has talked about a bunch of issues with the secondaries but for me, the cardinal sin, the thing that really all the issues lead back to, is this: the writers lost sight of the tarot themes which so strongly defined and held together the primary routes. Let me explain.

The primary routes each center around three thematic cores:

The Love Interest’s Major Arcana and its Reversed/Upright meanings

The MC’s Fool’s Journey, both how it can go right and how it can go wrong

A question about the MC’s identity and their relationship to said identity

Asra’s route asks: Who was the MC? How does the MC navigate a past they cannot and will not remember? What do they owe a past they cannot remember? How do they handle the revelations of what Asra, Nadia, Julian, etc did? How do you right the past? Can you?

Nadia’s route asks: Who is the MC? The MC has no past. Are they the Fool only? Are they actually the same person they were? How can they tell? Who are they, really? Are they an imposter? No one can answer these questions for them.

Julian’s route asks: Who will the MC become? How does the MC see their future? Is there anything worth fighting for for that future? What will become of them and their loved ones? 

Now, if you notice, these themes are expertly woven throughout the primaries. Asra’s past dominates his route, Nadia is also missing memories and trying to construct her identity both with her family and with Vesuvia, and Julian’s fear of the future drives his flailing for control. Asra has to learn to take a broader view of his actions to get his Upright Ending, Nadia has to learn to trust herself and those around her for hers, and Julian has to learn how to let go for his. These lessons are the issues their cards stand for. The primaries are so dang elegant and delicate in their handlings of theme it is honestly awe-inspiring.

Thematically, the secondary routes have completely lost their hearts. First of all, the MC does not have strong, core questions which need to be answered. They just don’t. I suppose the writers did not want to retread old territory (which is weird considering how tightly bound the primaries are; it really tricks you into thinking you’re living the same events but from different angles depending on your route) but they did not replace the old with anything new. Muriel’s route is, on the surface, about discovering and owning his past, the good and the bad. Why not tie MC’s self-discovery to that story? Or they could have taken the angle that Muriel’s route is about convincing him to be present and active in the world while MC builds an identity for themself outside of Asra, the shop, and the memories they cannot retrieve. Why not tie the investigation themes running through Portia’s early route back to MC and their past? Portia has the unique angle of being as in the dark as MC about all of this, why not discover the past together? And for goodness’ sake, Lucio has no future when his route begins, why not tie that to his need for growth, responsibility, and MC’s own future between the Fool, the Devil, or something mortal and in between?

Secondly, the routes lost their tarot backbone. We have a primer on how to get specific endings for each LI and it still holds, but the writers did not follow through on the thematic coherence of each secondary. The Hermit is looking for something, be it perspective, insight, a solution to a problem, whatever. The key here is that the Hermit must find or learn what they are searching for, this thing must change their understanding of the world, and finally, they must bring this lesson back to the world from which they retreated. Can someone please enlighten me as what exactly Muriel learns then teaches the world around him? Nothing Muriel learns from Morga, MC, or even the Hermit ties back into anything. The Devil warns that you are out of control and exerting a lot of manipulative, destructive behavior on the world around you. It asks you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So can someone tell me why Lucio’s route actively avoids any interaction or reflection on two of Lucio’s biggest victims: Muriel and Julian? Why does the route only try to make amends with the “easier” of his victims in the cast? The Star is first and foremost the card of clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. Perseverance, if you will. Yet Portia’s route has been the muddiest of the trio; the writers drop the investigation aspect of her route in favor just handing her and MC information they could have easily found and muddying the waters with Tasya (she blows up the palace but it’s all okay bc she has a secret daughter Julian never thought to bring up or mention) and the complete removal of the Devil as antagonist. 

So that leaves just the Fool’s Journey trying to hold this stool up with only one leg. And well...it doesn’t go well. At best, the secondary route books pay the barest surface level homage to the themes of the individual cards. At worst, they ignore the cards completely. Muriel's Moon book has nothing to do with illusions or delusions or lies or even an Alice in the Looking Glass upside down world. Portia's back half is a complete and utter mess, starting with her Temperance book being so badly mangled that Muriel's aftermath book does it better. Lucio's route too bungles the Tower and the Star. There just isn't enough here to carry the routes alone.

Add to the core loss the loss of intertextuality. The primary routes are very good, even great but they too do have their moments and mistakes. What helps strengthen them when the cores stumble is how the trio is woven together. Things you learn in Asra's route can inform the way you play Nadia's, for example. Julian's route informs what is going on in Asra's route and slots some missing puzzle pieces together. Nadia's route tells you of the power struggles she is facing and informs the other two routes' handling of Julian and his trial. On and on, the three routes support each other because they are built out of the same basic plot beats, just tackled in very different ways. Now, the writers are allowed to try and write whatever they want. They apparently wanted to be more experimental and less tied down to an overarching plot with the three secondaries. Okay, fine, they are allowed to do that. The problem is that they sacrificed one of the key strengths of the primary trio and didn't replace said strength with anything else. They also, on some level, harmed the very premise of the game, which is that only the player's choices and route selected change the overall plot. Instead of feeling like legitimate possibilities or offshoots of the same timeline/plot, the secondaries feel almost like Arcana AUs. The secondaries throw out all relations to the primaries and each other as quickly as possible and for what? 

It is probably the height of arrogance to suggest fixes for works whose behind the scenes I do not know. At the same time, some small, obvious changes could have salvaged Muriel and maybe Lucio's endings (rip Portia). Instead of having the Hermit appear as a disappointing cameo, why not have him say something cryptic to Muriel, then have MC start trying to seal the Devil. Then let Muriel use his forget me mark to cloak MC and hide them from the Devil's attacks. Protecting MC by hiding them from Lucio, keeping him focused on Muriel, seems to me a simple third solution between Muriel's desire to run and his desire to never fight again. It lets him stand up to Lucio and let him have it while holding onto who Muriel has become. The Reversed End would have MC try to draw Lucio's attention at some point, disrupting the sealing, and eventually leading to Muriel killing the Devil. With Lucio's Upright End, I just have to ask: why doesn't MC fully claim the power of the Fool instead of the Devil? We don't need the other Arcana involved in this fight; we have three routes that demonstrate that. Just have MC pull Scout into the conflict, then have Lucio tell MC he believes in them, then add his power to the mix. You got yourself a full Fool who leaves Scout guarding the realm until they and Lucio's mortal bodies fail and they return to the realm to be together forever. Boom, you're done, you can even add some ambiguous lines so that players can decide how happy their MC is with this arrangement, send me the check.

Here is the bottom line. Our group is full of aroace, and several combinations therein, individuals. We are the last group who should have gotten into a dating sim of all things. But the Arcana did something with the primaries that was special; they wrote a compelling plot with dazzling lore, complex characters, and strong themes wrapped up in a dating sim bow. The writers know better and we know they know better. I do not know what happened with the secondaries, especially around books 10-11, which is where minor issues slowly start spiraling into major ones, but it is clear that Nix Hydra needed some more planning before they released these routes. Hopefully they will learn.

TL;DR: Nix Hydra fired their tarot consultants about eighteen months ago and it has wrecked their secondary routes until they were just embarrassments. They never intended for the secondary routes to even exist and once they had to make them, they scrambled and threw out everything that made the primaries work.

- Mod Telos

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 4

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

part 3: “Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

* 

“But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self

Before I get into seasons six and seven, it’s worth asking: why would the show do all of this? Why would it spend all of this time developing a supporting villain and joke id character? Why would it give him a romantic arc? I see people say that the writers only gave Spike these storylines because he was popular or they wanted to keep him around, but even that being the case, there was no need to give him the specific arc that they did. It’s more than possible to read meaning into the story that they chose from the array of possible options. 

Here is the thing about the id. It’s not actually something separate from you. It’s not a ravenous monster you can blame your weaknesses on while remaining pure and dignified. The id is part of you. The immediate and enduring appeal of Spike is, I suspect, strongly influenced by the fact that the things the id wants are so very human and sympathetic. His foibles and mistakes are often painfully familiar, even exaggerated through vampirism as they are. In fact, it’s precisely because Spike is allowed to show a full range of reactions to love, because the writing is under less pressure for him to do the “right” or dignified thing, that he can at times be compelling in ways other characters can’t. If Spike just did nasty things, his appeal wouldn’t be much more complicated than the appeal of Angelus, who people tend to like as a villain or storyline rather than as a relatable character. But Spike doesn’t want to dismember nuns or construct elaborate murder tableaux. He wants familiar things like love, identity and meaning, even if the ways he goes about getting them can reflect people’s worst impulses. 

Which brings us to Buffy, and Buffy’s story about growing up. Buffy is Buffy’s show, which means that every writing choice tends to revolve around her arc in one way or another. And this goes for Spike’s storyline even more than most. In the final three seasons of the show, the writing finally engages with how inextricable the id--and all of its impulsive, inarticulate romantic desires--really is from a person’s self. So instead of keeping Spike at a comfortable distance, both Buffy and the writing begin to take him seriously. They begin to invite him in.

Starting in season five, it’s telling how frequently Buffy herself projects on Spike, rather than just the writing setting them up as mirrors. She tells him that he’s the “only one strong enough” to protect her family, and later assigns Dawn specifically to his protection. In “Spiral” she describes him as “the only one besides me that has any chance of protecting Dawn.” This is a very intimate role that she otherwise only assigns to herself (and which is not really based on pure practicality, considering that she’ll later describe Willow as her “big gun”--yet never gives Willow the task of protecting Dawn). She tells him that he cannot love, which is the thing she fears most about herself. Her protests that Spike is a vampire, and thus cannot express or want human things like love, mirror her lamentations that as the Slayer, she cannot have a normal life.

From the Gilliland Gothic double essay:

More than any of her other lovers, Buffy and Spike overlap one another so often that at times their character arcs become nearly indistinguishable. With Angel, Buffy traveled a parallel path in attempting to master self-control. With Riley, her journey ultimately took her in the opposite direction. With Spike, Buffy’s journey is most closely shadowed, in that her interactions with him in many ways can be seen as metaphors for her feelings about herself.

So now Spike is multiple things. On the one hand, he’s the soulless id he’s been since season two. His vampiric behavior represents a morally uninhibited way of reacting to romantic frustrations, among other things. But on the other hand, his vampirism now also marks him as like Buffy, not merely her opposite.* Nor is he only her mirror in the realm of romantic love. The part of him that is a vampire is the part of him that is supernatural (ie, Romantically larger-than-life), that sets him apart from regular people, and dictates how he can and cannot behave. Just like Buffy’s slayerness. His vampirism is what makes him capable of protecting Dawn, while also making him (supposedly, according to Buffy) incapable of human feeling--again, just like Buffy’s slayerness. Instead of Buffy’s Slayer side being aligned with Angelus, who was an unmitigated evil, it becomes aligned with Spike, who is something more complicated. 

*(Though it must be noted that this was a process that began in season four, with the show aligning Spike with the Scoobies by making him a victim of the Initiative. Spike being supernatural suddenly marks him as non-normative, just like the Scoobies, in contrast to the institutional conformity that the Initiative represents. The evolution towards treating the Romantic supernatural as something positive and associated with identity plays a key role in transitioning the show to the more complicated attitudes of the last three seasons.)

This shift in the show’s attitudes towards the id affects how Spike is used. In “Blood Ties” for example, Spike assists Dawn in breaking into the Magic Shop and in “Forever” he helps Dawn resurrect her and Buffy’s mother. In both cases, Spike could be read as embodying impulsive behavior that Buffy is supposed to be better than. Yet both cases specifically involve Spike helping Dawn, who is repeatedly portrayed as Buffy’s human side. As Buffy says in “The Gift”: “[Dawn]’s more than [my sister]. She’s me. The monks made her out of me. [...] Dawn is a part of me. The only part that I--”. In other words, Buffy’s id becomes closely tied to her humanity, even going so far as to become its safeguard. “Blood Ties” ends with Buffy affirming her connection to Dawn, which Spike’s rule-breaking directly enabled, and “Forever” ends with Buffy acknowledging how desperately she wants her mother back too, and becoming closer to Dawn as a result. (Compare to “Lovers Walk”, where Buffy acknowledging her id results in her breaking away from Angel, not drawing closer to anyone). Or in “Intervention”, Spike building the Buffybot directly parallels Buffy’s own anxieties about what she thinks she should be. She thinks she’s losing her ability to love, and that effusive fakery is her only recourse (as she said in “I Was Made to Love You”: “Maybe I could change. [...] I could spend less time slaying, I could laugh at his jokes. I mean men like that right? The joke laughing at?”), a fear that even has some merit, given that her friends cannot tell her and the bot apart. Instead of Buffy and Spike having separate arcs in the episode, Spike learning the difference between real and fake dovetails with Buffy’s own relationship to her realness and fakeness. It turns out that neither of them want a bot version of Buffy. They want real emotion, things like sacrifice and heartfelt gratitude. If even Buffy’s id would let itself be killed for Dawn, then maybe she has nothing to fear from herself. Maybe there is some beauty in the emotional part of her nature that she thinks she must repress.

In other words, part of the writing (and Buffy) fully engaging with romanticism and the id, means engaging with the ways they can be bad and good. There’s this weird thing that happens with Spike as soon as he falls in love with Buffy, where suddenly his actions are more uncomfortable, and to many, off-putting, because their object is Buffy (instead of another vampire like Harmony or Drusilla, who either enjoy the same vampiric things he does, or the audience might be inclined to see as a moral nonentity regardless). His comic id quality becomes somewhat darker and more serious, almost like the way Angel’s early season two darkness becomes more serious after he loses his soul. But at the same time, Spike’s actions are also more intriguing, sympathetic, and even noble...because their object is Buffy. It makes no sense that a soulless vampire should not only fall in love with the Slayer, but genuinely attempt to transform himself into someone worthy of her love. And yet that’s exactly what Buffy inspires him to do. By loving Buffy Spike’s dual nature, and the dual nature of his romanticism, is thrown into relief: it’s something that can be selfish and creepy, yes, but also something that hints at the idea that real romanticism does exist. Something worth feeling romantically about does exist. Thus the writing can at once criticize, say, the way the chivalric mindset conflates love and suffering, while also suggesting that there are kinds of love it’s worth being transformed by. (Meanwhile, Spike’s fumbling bewilderment over how to love Buffy, and what the rules of loving people correctly even are, creates a human middle ground between monstrousness and heroism). By leaning into the way that Buffy and Spike have been used as mirrors for three seasons, and introducing the mythology-bending idea of Spike being in love with Buffy, the writing is able to fully engage with this complicated, contradictory nature of love and romance.

All of which is to say. Spike becomes a potential love interest, and is given a convoluted inner conflict between monstrousness, humanity and heroism, in precisely the season in which Buffy begins to reckon with her own inner conflict between her darker impulses, her human reality, and her supernatural role. It’s no coincidence that season five opens with Dracula, an icon of romantic vampire mythology, tempting Buffy with darkness and promising her insight into her nature. Or that a vampire kidnaps Dawn--again, her human half--in the next episode. Or that the season’s antagonist is a super-strong blonde woman who wants to destroy Dawn instead of protect her. Or that she says goodbye to Riley, the boyfriend who embodied her hopes for a more normative way of being (notice how Riley is progressively destabilized by everything non-normative about Buffy’s life, and provokes those anxieties Buffy expresses in “I Was Made to Love You”). Over and over in season five, Buffy fears that her Slayer half is cold, destructive, and otherwise dangerous. That these Romantic things like gods and vampires have it in for Buffy’s vulnerable humanity. Yet Buffy’s vampire id simultaneously gives lie to these fears by proving itself capable of heroism and genuine human feeling.

In other words, Spike becomes a potential love interest in a season that treats the Romantic--ie the grand and mythical--as something more than just an attractive lie to be disabused of. Rather, the question that season five seems to posit to me, and which will not be fully answered until the end of season seven, is this: once you do clear away the attractive lies, once you accept the hard realities, once you’ve seen the darkest underbellies, what are the things that are left that are truly grand and beautiful? What are the stories that are really worth telling, and the heroes that are really worth having?

And the show asks and answers these questions on both a very personal level, and a more meta, systemic level. On the personal level, Buffy and Spike are forced to confront their illusions not just about the world, but about themselves. They are made to ask themselves what constitutes a heroic role or a demonic weakness, versus basic, unromantic humanity. And on the meta level, the show asks questions about our expectations for how both love stories and chosen hero stories are supposed to go.

part 5: “Everything used to be so clear”: Season six and the agony of the real

[sith-shenanigans]

Oh! I have a fun additional fact here! Did you (specific you or generic you) know that Horak-Mul was actually part of his era’s equivalent to the Council? It’s certainly another reason why it’s helpful that he’s the one who stays if you release (but don’t redeem) the ghosts. Full disclosure: even my secondary-canon LS inquisitor didn’t redeem the ghosts. Both because it’s not a great decision and because she’s not… actually light. She’s still a darksider, she’s just a really weird one.

But I think the decision to keep/release the ghosts is really one of the places where the game is most successful at making the less-moral option make more sense to do… despite them not making it an alignment decision at all, for some reason. Because you’re right, it’s much more rational to keep the power—the only reason not to, if you didn’t bargain with the first three ghosts (so they can’t just leave anyway), is if you decide that you’d rather risk it than continue to keep a bunch of dead people in spiritual shock collars for their power and knowledge.

(The inquisitor story has some very compelling themes about “now that you’re free, how willing are you to enslave others in turn?”, almost none of which fully get followed through with, which is why my fic version of it is dripping with them, damn it.)

So when Ahene makes the decision, she thinks very strongly about keeping the ghosts. It’s the logical option. It’s the only thing that makes sense to do. She might be fairly powerful on her own, but she traded full access to it for precision and endurance and a talent for esoteric perception-based Force tricks. She certainly doesn’t have the sheer raw strength that would be required to match her new “peers” when she has so little experience. But it’s also a decision, very specifically, to violate one of the few ideals she has left—not just out of immediate necessity, but for good.

(It’s worth noting that the act of Forcewalking has psychological effects on the person who does it, in my fics. Binding much more so than bargaining, but learning the ritual means taking a hollow place in your soul—one carved out by grief, one where you already keep your metaphorical dead—and teaching it to want.)

There’s no reason to let the ghosts go. If there’s no reason to let them go… is there a reason to stop at four? Certainly not a moral one. The Mother Machine’s ritual doesn’t seem to acclimate you to a specific number. There is every option to just keep going.

She lets them leave because she doesn’t think that path leads to any end she’d want.

She is very glad that Horak-Mul stays, because she really does need him.

(And none of this is to argue with your logic—because it really is completely accurate—but to present what I think the main compelling reason to make the illogical decision is.)

(…Nobody is ever redeeming those ghosts.)

The ending to the Sith Inquisitor storyline where the Inquisitor keeps the spirits bound to themselves is objectively the best ending if they're going to continue being Dark Lord of the Sith.

It just makes sense in every conceivable way.

You're now Darth [Nox, Imperius, Occulus], Dark Lord of the Sith, and Most Honourable Councillor Sphere of Ancient Knowledge of the Council of Dark Lords. It's known that membership to the Dark Council can sometimes last months if not days. Regardless of your wants, you are now in a very dangerous position, because you've got any ambitious Sith Lord within your own sphere (who undoubtedly has had more experience than you) looking to bring you down: more if your policies are distinctly unpopular.

Meanwhile, as a Sith Lord, you've only had three years, minimum, worth of experience. We can fudge the numbers a bit for the sake of headcanon. I personally think time at the Sith Academy lasts up to three years, so my 'Quisitor would have six years worth of Sith-ly training under their belt.

I don't know about you, but having just bound several spirits of Sith Lords long since passed, granting me a possible form of immortality, on top of whatever enhancements the Mother Machine and the Forbidden Gormak Ritual entailed, sounds like a good idea to just... keep them.

Also, also, you now have several Sith Lords bound to you: you know, experienced Sith who could logically give you advice about how to act as a Dark Lord and Councillor of the Dark Council? Sure, they might not have any direct experience, and depending on your relationship with them, it might prove difficult to get the advice in the first place, but it's still invaluable knowledge to covet. Also, you might just be able to force the spirits to comply?

[waithyuck]

TRICKY

pairing: elf! na jaemin x reader (f) **halloweenie special**

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 3k

warnings: {OKAY IM PUTTING A WARNING FOR VERY MILD *DUB-CON* BC TECHNICALLY THE READER IS TRICKED , BUT IN THE END OBVIOUSLY CONSENTS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED}, sexual content (fingering, dry humping), explicit language, use of several pet names, possessive behavior and vocabulary, reader just wants to find her damn cat but gets a whole lot more than that, bad attempts at explaining folklore, I’m sorry for any inaccuracies 😬 **ALSO UNEDITED**

a/n: **repost bc tumblr sucks** this is definitely more of my own spin on what I think an elf would be like, so sorry to those of you who are into the lore and stuff 🥺

< previous | next >

~10/14/2020~

~~~~

your grandmother was always a very smart woman, and you knew that very well. so when she told you not to do something, you made sure to NEVER do it.

you lived with her on the very outskirts of your town; your own backyard made up of a very dense forest with enough trees in it to block out almost all sunlight. your bedroom window faced the forest, and every night you were forced to stare at it as you sat at your desk, contemplating what went on in there.

your grandmother repeatedly told you to never go in there, no matter what, ever since you were a child. she would talk about all kinds of crazy things, like witches and faeries, and even elves.

the first time she told you about the dark forest, you were only six years old.

“you can’t go in there, y/n.” she said seriously, crouching before you as you stood in the kitchen with her. “no matter how much it may call you, you can never enter it.”

you didn’t understand, so of course, in typical child fashion, you questioned her.

“well why not?” you shot back, crossing your arms and pouting. she stood back up after looking at you for a second, going back to mixing brownie batter in a large bowl.

“the fae are dangerous creatures. the forest is littered with them, my dear.” she stopped for a moment, gazing out the kitchen window and into the thick gathering of trees and plant life. “the elves will claim you once you enter, and you may never be able to escape again.”

after that, she didn’t say much else to you about it.

at first, you thought she was just trying to scare you into not wandering off, but after a while you began to believe her.

there would be strange noises in the night; like whispers calling out to you from the direction of your window. it creeped you out but you tried to convince yourself it was just your imagination playing tricks on you.

your life continued on like that for years, and eventually it didn’t phase you at all. you were used to the nightly whispers now, and even your cat didn’t seem to mind them, if she could hear them at all.

you never told your grandmother about them, however. she was getting old and you didn’t want to be the reason she had a heart attack, as awful as that sounded.

for being as old as she was, she still got around pretty good, and there were days when she left you along for a good few hours to go out on walks with her other old lady friends.

it was really cute.

today was just like any other day like that; your grandmother left around eleven in the morning to go out, leaving you some breakfast on the counter for when you inevitably stumbled out of your room at one o’clock in the afternoon.

everything seemed normal. you ate in silence and scrolled through your phone at the kitchen table, but then noticed something was right.

looking around you, you noticed your cat was nowhere in sight. she would usually be up on the table sitting and staring at you or rubbing against your leg for no reason, but currently she was nowhere to be found.

at first you just assumed she was sleeping somewhere else, but after eating you searched the house and couldn’t find her anywhere. walking back into the kitchen you happened to glance outside and your heart jumped in your chest.

then you started to panic.

looking out into the backyard you saw her stark white fur disappear into the thick brush of the forest, and you almost screamed out loud at the sight.

“fuck,” you exclaimed, your heart racing and your mind thinking of all the ways to try to get her back. you were always advised to not go into the forest...but you couldn’t let your poor cat who you loved very dearly to get mauled out there by some bigger animal.

you had to go after her.

you mustered you all the courage you had inside you, not bothering to change out of your ratty shorts and t-shirt before shoving your feet in your sneakers. you let out a shaky breath as you walked into your backyard, staring down the darkness of the forest with determination.

as you apprehensively made your way to the very entrance of the brush, you spotted a large crooked stick, and didn’t hesitate to grab it to use as a weapon if necessary.

you didn’t want to be completely defenseless against any supernatural creatures you came across. you had a gut feeling that running into one would be inevitable, and the fear rang like a siren in the back of your mind like a sonata.

the ‘do not enter’ and ‘keep out: danger’ signs did nothing to ease your pounding heart and screaming nerves, but you pressed on regardless. you had to do this, for your stupid cat.

with one large step, you passed the boundary of the trees, the wind picking up as soon as you did. a chill ran down your spine but you kept your legs moving, careful not to break your ankles on any protruding roots. it was incredibly dark, even though the sun was high in the sky, but the leaves of the towering trees cut out almost all light.

you stumbled around aimlessly for what felt like hours, but in reality it had only probably been about 45 minutes before you stopped and took a breather. checking your phone for the time, you felt a pang in your chest when you realized that it was off, and wouldn’t turn back on no matter how hard you tried.

“fuck,” you muttered, fear creeping up on your soul once again. you really didn’t want to be in this forest longer than necessary, and you really seriously contemplated just leaving your cat behind, as horrible as that was.

your eyes gazed around, taking in the trees surrounding you. nothing seemed too out of the ordinary...all though you really though you saw a few small dashes of light fly around you through your periphery. you prayed that they weren’t pixies or fairies of whatever else your grandmother told you about.

you didn’t trust anything, no matter how beautiful or non-threatening they seemed to be on the outside.

“hello there.” a voice spoke out suddenly, causing you to jump and spin around, dropping your makeshift weapon in the process.

your eyes met the sight of a young man who looked to be around your age, with a slightly unsettling smile upon his face. he was almost too handsome; the beauty that emanated from him in waves was incredibly addicting, and you felt the pull of him immediately. it was hard to tear your eyes away, and that scared you.

you had no idea where he had come from, nor did you know how he managed to so quietly sneak up behind you like he did. you definitely would have heard him coming, considering the amount of twigs and leaves littering the ground at your feet.

your heart raced at the possibility of who, or what, he was, your mind trying to go through everything your sweet old grandmother ever told you. some inner part of you already knew what you were dealing with.

“don’t hurt yourself, darling,” the man spoke again, referencing to your mind working in overtime. he took a step forward toward you, and in turn you took a large stumbling step back. he watched you move, chuckling. “I’m jaemin, care to tell me your name?”

“n-no,” you managed to say, your hands clutched at your chest as you tried to calm your racing heart. you swore you saw his eyes flicker a bright aquamarine for a moment before returning back to brown as his smile faltered slightly. It came back a split second later.

“you’re a smart girl,” he purred, most likely realizing that you knew he wasn’t human, inching closer once more. you felt frozen, unable to step back like you truly wanted to, and you willed yourself not to panic. “you know what I am, I presume?”

your lips shook as you opened your mouth to speak, your tongue running over your chapped lips and he watched every single movement, causing your body to shiver.

“I have a-an idea,” you softly whispered, not breaking eye contact as he stopped in front of you. he didn’t say a word, only smiling at you as you stayed frozen in your spot. one word screamed in your mind: elf. you didn’t even have to look at his pointed ears to deduct that. the vibe he gave off was abundantly clear, even if you had never encountered another being of his kind before.

it didn’t feel like he was compelling you; it was more or less your reaction to the immense shock and fear you felt, coming in contact with a creature your grandmother always warned you about.

and it’s all because of your dumb cat.

“l-look dude, I’m just trying to find my cat.” you stated strongly now, holding your ground as best you could as he looked at you intensely, that slightly unsettling smile never leaving his face.

“once it entered the forest it became mine.” he simply retorted, leaning against the tree trunk beside him. “anything that passes the trees here belongs to me…” he paused for a moment, his eyes now glowing a full bright aquamarine, startling you as he seared his gaze through your very soul. “so I guess that means you’re mine as well. how lucky.”

the elf spoke softly, but there was an edge to his tone that made you shiver, paired with his choice of words.

“I-I’m not..” you stuttered, your fists clenched by your sides. was he the ruler of the forest? some sort of elf king?

“you’re not?” he asked, chuckling to himself as he pushed his body from the tree, slowly slithering toward you on his bare feet. “did you not hear what I said? everything in this forest is mine. that includes living creatures,” you had no willpower to move away as he crowded your space, his glowing eyes paralyzing you as his body drew closer and closer. “I wonder what I should do with my new possession.” he smirked to himself, reaching a pale hand out to gently cup your chin, laughing lowly as you instinctively flinched. “you are without a doubt the prettiest thing I’ve seen enter my domain in years, princess. I’ve been waiting for you.”

his last sentence threw you off, but for a moment your brain couldn’t remember the whispers you heard all those years, and it didn’t click. you couldn’t deny that this elf man was attractive; and you couldn’t deny the fact that his voice had your legs weakening with every word he spoke. you cursed yourself mentally for being affected by him, because deep down you were aware of the danger of encountering elves.

thinking back to your cat, you wondered why she would have left the house in the first place. she was lazy and never wanted to really move...unless something was calling her…

your heart seemed to stop beating and your blood ran cold.

“you tr-tricked me…” you said in realization, your eyes widening. “you tricked me into coming in here, using m-my cat!” your voice was panicked and you found it hard to breathe. then, your brain finally figured it out. “you’re the one that’s been whispering to me all these years, aren’t y-you?”

he smiled at you with dark aquamarine eyes, and now you weren’t sure how you were going to get yourself out of this mess.

you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to get out of this mess.

wait, what?, your eyes widened at your own thoughts, where did that come from??

suddenly and without warning, your entire body was grasped in his hold. his hands dominantly gripped your waist and flipped you around so that your front was smacked up against a tree, the sharp bark scratching your cheek as your face was scraped against it.

“you’re my kitty now.” his voice whispered directly into your ear, his breath causing your body to visibly shiver in his hold.

you didn’t mean to whine, you really didn’t, but when he his teeth found your ear and nibbled gently on the skin, you couldn’t hold it in. your legs trembled beneath you as your knees weakened, the feeling of his warm body pressed tightly against your back leaving you wanting more and more.

he pressed deceivingly sweet kisses along your neck, your hands clutching the bark of the tree in response, your nails scratching along the surface. you jolted when you felt his right hand move down your front and nestle between your legs, putting pressure right against your covered center.

“hmm, you want it, don’t you?” he mumbled quietly, his chest rumbling against your back. “your thoughts are so loud, I know you can’t resist me.”

your thighs clenched in anticipation as he ran his long fingers delicately along your core through your shorts, and you let out a breathy whimper in response.

he tsk’d at you, giving your pussy a light slap through the thin fabric before completely drawing it away. “I wanna hear you say yes, kitty.”

his voice was demanding as he spoke, and you couldn’t disobey.

with your eyes glazing over, you gripped the tree trunk tightly and mewled out, “yes!”

you could practically hear him smirk, his chuckling causing you to grow even more wet as he finally slipped his hand down your front and into your shorts. when his long finger reached your bare and sensitive nub, you could help but arch your back, causing your ass to press tightly against his rapidly hardening cock. he groaned right in your ear, his hips bucking and grinding against your behind in time with his strokes against your clit.

“you’re already so wet, darling,” he moaned out, dipping his finger down to circle your entrance. “I could just...slide right in.” with those words, he slipped his index finger into you in one clean movement, his long finger reaching deep inside your pussy.

you cried out when the tip of his finger brushed a sweet spot inside you, and you heard him groan in response, a deep chuckle following.

“good girl,” he muttered, casually slipping his middle finger inside you beside his pointer. the stretch had you throwing you head back, giving him access to your pretty neck. “be as loud as you want, baby. it’s just me, you, and the forest now.”

his hips grinding against your from behind never ceased, and he thrusted his fingers to the same rhythm as his hips. he was literally fingerfucking you; before you knew it he was adding a third finger.

to help with the burn of the stretch, he reached his free hand down and used two fingers to pinch and roll your clit, making you squeeze your eyes shut and clench your teeth at the sudden immense pleasure you were feeling.

it was embarrassing, but you were already so close to reaching your high. you really wanted this feeling to last forever, so you tried to hold it as long as you could.

the noises escaping from you only grew louder the harder he went; the powerful strokes from his hips driving you into the bark of the tree and his fingers plowing deep inside you had you practically screaming.

his lips found your neck and he left wet kisses there, his grains and growls only enhancing your feelings of ecstasy. he sounded like sin, and even though he was an elven boy that you had just stumbled across, you knew you didn’t want him to leave your life. you never wanted to live in a world where you couldn’t hear his moans, and that thought almost terrified you. the effect he was having on you was extremely intense, and you weren’t sure if it was normal, but at this point you were far too gone to care.

“are you gonna cum, kitty?” he strained out, breaking you out of your thought as his hips stuttered against your ass, his fingers still powerfully fucking into you. you could only nod desperately, your throat sore from the guttural sounds you were releasing.

he let out a breathy laugh, causing your walls to flutter around his digits. “then cum. I wanna feel you fucking drench my fingers.”

his words were all it took for you to let go. you screamed as you came, your nails scratching against the tree as your cheek scraped sharply on the bark, most likely drawing blood. your pussy clamped so hard around his fingers that he could barely move them in and out of you, so he drew circles over your clit to help you ride out your orgasm.

his hips pressed tightly against you, and you could feel through your own pants the wet spot on the front of his, indicating that he had cum as well.

after a powerful minute of cumming, you felt your eyes droop in exhaustion almost immediately. jaemin withdrew his fingers from you, wiping your essence on his pants before grouping your waist to keep you from collapsing. you definitely would have fallen if it weren’t for his hold on you.

he gently lowered you to the ground, turning your body so your back was able to rest against the trunk. he wiped at the scratches on your cheek with his thumb, but even though it stung you didn’t have the energy to flinch.

“go to sleep, precious.” he said softly, still stroking your face lovingly. his gentle nature should have set off all of the alarms in your mind and body, but you didn’t have enough energy to care.

in the back of your mind you realized that you probably would never see your cat or your grandmother again, and that you would most likely be trapped in this forest with jaemin for the rest of your days on earth. you didn't want to think about it now, so you took his advice and allowed your eyes to close, dreaming of jaemin and nothing else.

maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.