#but she's literally moving like an 8 hour drive away

[grapehyasynth]

[irndad]

don't date coworkers- s.r.

a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k

She’s really, really good at talking to people. 

It’s one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone could’ve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is. 

She’s good at talking to him.

She’s worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take. 

Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. He’s halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and there’s no real way to deny that, he knows that he’s less than ideal to go out with. He’s stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears it’s cute longer) and he’s an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life. 

It’s a Friday, and a rainy one at that. It’s one of the blessed ones where they don’t really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window. 

Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), he’d head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel he’s been chipping away at- but she’s here, and he’s made her favorite tea. 

“I thought you could use a treat,” he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, “It’s not really a great one, but I’ll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?”

She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass. 

“Did you know that I adore you, Spence?” 

He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what he’s given her. 

“You’ll be taking her home, pretty boy?” Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner. 

“Fuck off,” she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morgan’s teasing. 

“Easy, easy,” Morgan laughs, “I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”

If she has anything to say to that, it doesn’t come out then. 

He’s still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

He knows this because of the first time they’d met, when he’d been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen. 

She’d been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible. 

“I’m sorry, Derek,” she had said, “I make it a point not to date coworkers.” 

Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and it’s a good policy to have personally. And Spencer’s never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didn’t think that way… well, it wouldn’t be him, who she picked. 

Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who. 

He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. It’s kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. It’s foolish to assume that it’s more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

“I made sure the film tonight has subtitles!”

“Are you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?”

“I promise it’s worth it!” He says excitedly, “And they’re really done well. You won’t have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!”

“I didn’t mind that,” She laughs then, a real laugh, “but I’m glad we’re getting to hang out tonight.”

It’s funny- they’ve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled. 

___________________________________

Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. She’s tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way. 

“You’re very pretty,” he hears himself say before he can stop it. He’s endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Doctor,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers. 

“You’re being nice to me,” he says, looking down at his shoes. They’re stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesn’t make him like half-child half-geek. 

“I’m being accurate, actually,” she says she bumps his shoulder. 

She’d be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him he’s kind, and good, and she means it. He’s lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows he’s her favorite. The way she’s looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.

Being her favorite on the team does not mean he’s in the running to be a boyfriend. But he’d fucking want to be. He’d be a good boyfriend. Spencer, he’s gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.

“Are you okay, boy-genius?”

“I’m better than okay. Do you want popcorn?”

She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to. 

Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.

It’s very, very hard to focus on the movie.  

She’s touchy, with him. He’s not sure if it’s because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but he’s grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his. 

He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then they’d be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if he’d know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like. 

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if we met under different circumstances?” he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.

“Hmm?” She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.

“Like, at a bar or something.”

“But you hate bars.”

“That’s why I said or something!”

Her lip juts out adorably, “But then I wouldn’t get to see you in your element.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if she’s cold. “But who knows. Maybe we’d date, or something.”

It’s the dumbest thing he’s ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh. 

“I don’t think so, Spence.” 

“No,” shitshitshit, “I didn’t mean-“

“I mean, if you don’t want to date me now, I don’t think meeting at like, Whole Foods would’ve been the difference maker.”

It’s then he hears it- the piece he couldn’t place in her voice, when she gets like this. It’s being resigned. 

“What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Spence,” she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, “You know how I feel. I haven’t exactly beens subtle.”

“But you don’t date coworkers. You have a rule.”

She looks at him with no recognition of what he’s saying. 

“No, because you told Morgan that, it’s the first thing I ever heard you say.”

“Yeah, but-“

“And yes, okay, you’ve been my favorite person almost as long as I’ve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Obviously!”

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before, well- before she’s kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way he’s allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way he’s never, ever been allowed to experience.

“You had a rule,” he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. He’d like to go back to kissing, thank you very much. 

“You’re the exception, to every rule, Spencer.”

When he kisses her again (which he’s allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides he’s going to spend the rest of all time earning that status. 

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 8 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: this one is a bit on the shorter side, but I promise next chapter will be juicy! 😉

W/C: 3.086

part seven

"Wait- why am I actually kind of bitter about this?"

I mumble, looking up at Luis. He turns around, moving his camera away to look at me.

"Bitter about what?" He asks, fidgeting with the settings of the device.

"They literally crap out money- but get a free BMW?" I question, folding my arms.

"Oh, please. Will you stop being such a negative person?"

He gives me a nasty look, his hand coming to grab my arm.

"Or go sit in the car..?" He adds, pointing behind me.

"No, it's too hot to sit in the car.." I complain, adjusting my sleeve.

"Why did you even follow me here in the first place?" He asks, raising his brows.

"I was done with my to-do list and didn't want to stay cooped up in the office.."

Not to mention to avoid the insanely annoying looks I had been receiving ever since those stupid rumors and photos had been out.

"Okay, just stay back and watch then.."

I watch him make cinematic shots of each individual model and car. My patience begins to thin when he's still busy with it twenty minutes later.

I pull my phone out of my pocket to keep myself busy. I carefully scroll through my Instagram explore page, ignoring the thousands of follower requests to my account.

The internet was very quick, so within hours of my face being online, people had found both my full name and social media accounts.

"y/n!"

I freeze, holding my phone against my chest, and turn in the direction the noise came from.

I make immediate eye contact with Valeria, her obnoxiously fake smile burning my eyes instantly.

"Yeah? Anything wrong with the shoot?" I ask, shoving my phone into my pocket.

"No, the players have just arrived- and it's a better look if you're off your phone and look interested."

I fight the urge to snort at her ridiculous comment, and just nod before I lose it.

"Sure, any reason you're here today? It's only for some short clips..”

I watch her take a step forward, a hand reaching up to her hip. She moves her neck in a weird way, staring at me for a moment.

"It's always good to see how my juniors work, and how close they are to the players is really something I like keeping an eye on.."

Oh- surprise, she was here for something stupid!

I was already over her snarky remarks, especially those insinuating a romantic relationship between Jude and me.

The thought only makes me want to gag.

I shiver at the cursed idea, noticing a few players already walking over to check out the new car they chose, and look back at Valeria.

"Well, I'm sure some of the guys really need your presence and knowledge. Please, go and join them.."

I instigate, hoping and wishing she goes to bother Toni instead.

For some reason, he could handle her bullshit really well.

"Oh, don't mind if I do.." She chuckles, immediately turning her back to me and walking away.

I sigh in relief, rubbing my nape to try to release some tension from my body.

I begin walking up to the cars myself, reading off every license plate to see which player got what model.

I stop at the car chosen by Aurélien, observing the details of the 'i4 eDrive35'.

« Très belle, non? » I hear him say. I nod, pursing my lips.

« Le couleur- noir est parfait.. » I compliment, stepping back to get a better view.

I open my mouth to say something else- but I'm startled by a loud car horn, it almost makes my eardrums explode. I shut my eyes tightly, not reacting fast enough to cover my ears properly.

"What the fuck.." I mumble, looking to my left. An obviously aggravated expression on my face, because who the hell thought that was a good idea?

“Jude! Get out of your mom’s car, please!” I exclaim, seeing him stand at the driver’s door.

The man couldn’t even drive, but got to choose a car for himself?

Not even that- he also chose the most expensive model worth more than a hundred thousand euros?

Life is so unfair.

“You’re standing in the way!” He exclaims, walking around to sit in the passenger seat. Another staff member comes over to drive him around the parking lot.

I give him a nasty look, stepping aside and looking back at Aurélien.

“Why don’t you join him?” He suggests, an obvious smirk on his face.

“What? Why would I do that?” I ask, raising my brows and folding my arms defensively.

“You know- nice car and fun drive..” He trails off, glancing at the moving car.

“I would feel like I’m in danger without him even being the driver..” I state, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand.

He chuckles, as if to mock the fear for my safety. I shrug it off, looking behind me to see where Luis is.

“Come on- get in the car and I’ll get Luis to do a little video..” I usher, walking away to get Luis.

The entire shoot takes us about an hour before we’re finally done. I quickly bid farewell and thank fellow staff members for their hard work before jumping into my car.

I go to start my car, looking up to see where Luis is. I roll my windows down, letting some fresh air into the car, hoping he’ll be here quickly.

“No- it’s just annoying because I’m trying to do my job properly and I’m getting the craziest stares. Like, does having a conversation with someone mean we’re married with three kids and a chihuahua?!” I exclaim, looking at Amira on FaceTime.

“And you attended his match, and you wore his name on your shirt and spoke to his family and-"

I cut her off with a loud groan, rubbing my eyes in irritation.

“You’re the one who set me up!”

“I thought you already knew it was his shirt! Should I have worn Jude’s while you wore Trent’s?” She defends herself, a smirk forming on her lips.

I shake my head, dropping my pencil on the table.

I had been studying all day and had stopped the instant Amira called me.

“The way I can’t even get mad at anyone about this- ugh..” I complain, shifting in my chair.

“And those follow requests are so annoying..”

I grumble, totally aware of the fact that I had been complaining about literally every single thing and then some.

“Girl, if you set your account on public again and accept those followers..”

“What? I’m going to clout chase being that douche's fake girlfriend?”

“Obviously?”

“I have to take over my dad’s firm one day, and you want me to be known for dating my coworker?”

“Too late-"

I stop paying attention to what she’s saying when the front door opens, my gaze moving to see my dad walking in.

“I’m going to call you back later.” I mutter to Amira, waving at her until she hangs up.

I close my laptop, standing up to walk over to the door.

“Hey, dad- you’re late.” I say, grabbing his laptop bag off of him.

“I had a lot of work to review. Did you have dinner?” He asks, hanging his coat up on the coat rack.

“I had some of the food auntie Carmen made. You?”

“We all had dinner in the office. Everyone has been going home late these days.” He says, washing his hands in the kitchen sink before loosening his tie.

“With what?” I ask, setting his laptop bag on the table, prying into his business.

“Can’t say, but- don’t you think you need to tell me something?” He suddenly asks, turning to me.

I freeze, looking at him with wide eyes.

What the hell would I be hiding from him?

“Uh- no? I’m not sure what you’re talking about?” I state, scratching my nape in confusion.

“Are you sure?” He presses on, coming to hold onto my shoulders.

“I’m sure. What am I supposed to hide from you?” I ask, getting rather defensive, a frown forming in between my brows as I keep staring at him.

He notices my irritation, letting go of my shoulders and holding his hands up in surrender.

“Okay- I understand. Don’t get all angry at me..” He says, smiling.

“I’m not angry- just confused..”

“Forget I asked- How was work? How about you tell me about that instead?”

I purse my lips, looking down at my laptop.

“Alright, the players got new cars, so we had to do a shoot for BMW..” I mutter, fiddling with my notebook.

“You look so down, y/n. What? Are you jealous? I got you your new Audi less than two years ago..”

“What do you mean, dad? I love that car, would not exchange an Audi for a BMW- I have some car knowledge.” I state, my expression changing as I explain to him.

“That’s right! Come to me when you really want to change your car. I’ll call up some people I know.”

I make my way towards the printer, looking for the documents I had sent over to be copied a couple hours ago. Finding them, I quickly read them through to confirm the pages are complete, until I’m stopped by Hugo.

“Are you ready for El Classico week?” He asks, making a copy of something.

Most people, as in football fans, would say an El Classico is a match you shouldn’t miss. The long-standing rivalry between the two clubs was always interesting to watch, and I would definitely agree a hundred percent-

Only, if it didn’t mean we had to ensure our match posts, interviews, and statements were properly prepared and triple-checked and approved days leading up to the match.

Of course, I loved watching the game- but the way it exhausted literally everyone involved was no fun.

What made it harder was the fact that we had a whole Champions League match to worry about first. To sum it all up, no one was getting sleep for the next two weeks.

“Yeah, just really busy with preparations.” I reply, folding the corner of the documents.

“Good luck, we’ve all been having sleepless nights. It will be worth it in the end- you’ve experienced this before. Just keep on doing what you always do.”

I nod in acknowledgment, smiling at him.

“You’re right, we will put our best foot forward.” I give him a thumbs up, chuckling.

“Good- I’ll see you at lunch. Work hard!” He encourages, patting my shoulder before leaving with his printed papers.

I sigh in relief when he leaves, making my way up to my desk. I place the documents on the table, before running down to the pitch. Having to finish some last-minute recording of the match preparations.

I walk over to the pitch, training is already in full motion, and I notice Luis already there. I look around for any other staff members, only seeing the creepy guy I ran into weeks ago standing across the pitch.

The guy was a walking, real-life jumpscare at this point. I’d only run into him at random moments, and the way he’d look at me had my heart leaping into my throat.

“You’re late.” Luis complains, bringing me out of my thoughts, fiddling with a black cable.

“Did those two minutes kill you?” I ask, sighing, and look at the players who were training.

“Of boredom, yes..” He replies, and I notice the small- very slight compliment in his words. A smile forming on my face as I chuckle.

“We would’ve been absolutely fucked if Kepa didn’t save that one..” I mutter, insanely stressed, as I eye the scoreboard in the Lluís Companys Olympic Stadium. A temporary stadium FC Barcelona had been using for this season.

“Don’t say that- you have no trust in this team whatsoever..” Luis complains, looking up at me.

“Who will score?” I ask, we loved guessing who would score and assist goals during every match.

“Jude.” He immediately says, not hesitating one bit.

“No- I’m guessing Vinicius..” I say, eyes darting back to my laptop screen.

“I will be right- just watch..”

“It’s his second El Classico and his first in season one. What is he going-” I immediately stop talking when I notice a chance to score, my hands tangle into my shirt as I see how much space there is to score.

I gasp, and my jaw slacks open when Jude scores an absolute screamer, which I’d obviously never admit to him.

“I told you!” Luis screams, celebrating like it’s his birthday. I scoff, secretly happy we were put out of our 0-1 misery, and search for the draft I’m supposed to publish.

A couple minutes pass, it’s almost full time, and extra time is finally announced. The away side is full of Madridistas, all sitting on the edge of their seats until Luca kicks the ball towards Jude and GOAL!

The away side celebrates happily, with another El Classico win in our pocket. I quickly manage and do what I have to do, before we both get up to go back inside.

I was both delighted and annoyed at the fact that we won. Of course, it’s always amazing to win a match like this, especially when we were doing so well this season. Also because it’s Luca’s 500th match, and an assist is pretty amazing to pull off on a day like this.

The only thing making me have bitter feelings was the fact that I had to interview Jude today. Normally, Man Of The Match interviews with him were already horrific to experience. An elaborate interview with him, after I’d been avoiding him like the plague, wasn’t necessarily something I would want to do.

“Can you go first? I’ve got to pee really badly..” I say to Luis, placing my bag down and running towards the restroom. Finishing my business up quickly and washing my hands thoroughly.

I look around me for a bit, knowing that sometimes players would use these restrooms as well. I had heard about instances where the players of the opposite team had raged against our team’s staff members. Which definitely had me watching my back in moments like these.

I had interacted with some players of FC Barcelona, and they hadn’t been disrespectful so far.

Thus, I’m not too fazed when the door to the restroom opens. I look up as a sweaty and tired Ferran Tores walks in.

We make immediate eye contact, and I nod in greeting, shooting him a quick ‘hello' before pulling some paper towels from the dispenser to dry my hands.

He seems to be seething in anger, so I break eye contact, looking away.

“This is a staff bathroom, are you aware of that?”

He suddenly says, water splashing from the faucet as he begins washing his face.

“Sorry?” I question, wondering what he’s getting at.

“Not for girlfriends.” He mutters, turning the faucet off.

My face twists into one of confusion, the words throwing me for a loop. Seems like he notices, and he opens his mouth again.

“You’re Bellingham’s girl, aren’t you? This is the staff restroom.” He enunciates every single word as if I’m a kindergartner, it makes me freeze for a second.

I struggle to stop myself from reacting thoughtlessly, not knowing if I should be crying or laughing.

My hand reaches for my staff badge hanging from my neck, waving it in front of his face.

“Do I look like a girlfriend?” I ask, dropping my badge and stepping out before he can apologize.

Asshole, losing doesn’t give you the right to be so damn rude.

How could I even get rid of these stupid fucking rumors?

“Okay, smile!” I exclaim, holding Luis’s camera up to take a photo of the squad. With the happiness of winning an El Classico and the celebration of Luca's milestone came a lot of excitement and enthusiasm.

I hold back a chuckle at the sight of Aurélien laying on the floor, instructing some of them to move a bit for a better shot.

We take multiple photos together, staff members taking photos with the squad while I force them to stand in front of the camera.

“y/n, come here, and we’ll take a picture!” Antonio urges, snatching the camera off of me and pushing me to stand in front of the camera.

I feel myself being pushed, until I find myself almost pressing into Jude’s side.

I curse to myself, forcing an awkward smile as I pose next to everyone.

“What? Surely, you don’t think I bite?” Jude whispers, his arm dropping to his side.

“Please, shut up and pose. We still have that interview, so don’t start now..” I mutter between a clenched smile, pretending I’m not fazed.

I hear a soft chuckle, a mocking and breathy ‘sure’ leaving his mouth.

It gives me shivers down my spine, and I fight the urge to step on his shoe, focusing on posing instead.

This will be a long, long interview..

“You should’ve told me you’re leaving.” I mumble, mouth full of cereal and milk.

“Sorry, been so busy, didn’t even come to mind.” My dad says, walking around the house as he gets ready for work.

“Where is that blue tie I just got?” He shouts from his room.

“I ironed it! It’s in the bottom drawer!” I shout, scrolling through my messages.

“Got it!”

I hum, chugging the leftover milk in my bowl before standing up from the dining table.

“When are you going? Will you be gone for long?” I ask, watching him put the tie on in his bedroom.

“This weekend. It’s a crucial case, so I’ll be back when it’s totally over. Don’t get up to mischief. I know how you get when you’re home alone.” He points, giving me a stern look.

“Yeah, sure, I will plan a house party or two..” I joke, but it doesn’t land as he continues staring me down.

“Okay! I will be a responsible adult and call you or auntie Carmen when something happens..”

“Good, I’m leaving to get to work. Will you be back on time for dinner?” He says, grabbing his paperwork and laptop bag.

“Yeah, can we order in tonight?” I give him a pleading look, walking him out.

“You know I can’t deny my daughter happiness in the form of burgers and fries...”

[sirensplayhouse]

It Is A Fact Challenge💫 •self concept challenge🦋•

the long awaited post has finally been made🥱

ok so the first thing y’all have probably noticed is this isn’t the standard challenge where it’s for a certain amount of days and that’s for a reason✋🏾the time frame in which you get results are up to you . you decide how long it takes you to get results . you decide how well this challenge works for you . you decide when you get results , because you hold all the power .

during this challenge you’re going to be focused on two things: vaunting and affirming

now since a lot of y’all wanted to know the specific vaunt I used to manifest my dream life who am I to deny y’all of it😌so boom here y’all go:

A sirens vaunt:

I am literally living my dream life. I mean it’s ridiculous how things can change at the blink of an eye. it’s to be expected though , since I am a master manifestor of course . I am in complete control of my reality . and there’s not a thing that could ever change that. when I walk in the room I command everyone’s attention . it’s amazing how my life changed overnight and now I’m living the life I’ve always imagined . but it’s to be expected since I am the goddess of all things in my life .

now you can either keep it like this or change it to fit you and your liking . you also can use other vaunts that other bloggers have made:

@rayjane //here

@cinnamonitgirl // boom

@remcycl333 // bam

@itsravenbitch // slap

and ofc check out the queen of vaunting herself the goddess Hera @sexydreamgirl / @sexyandhedonistic

now how often you vaunt is up to you , I listened to it before I went to sleep (including naps) and whenever I woke up. but it’s completely up to you if you want to vaunt during the day or even do mirror work 🤍

now onto the affirmations, just like the vaunt I’ll give you the single affirmation I used but it is not necessary to use it and yea😂

“ I always manifest instantly”

more sc affirmations because why not ?✨

“I am the goddess of all things in my life”

“everything always goes my way”

“it is a fact I always manifest instantly”

“I manifest at the speed of light”

“everything always works out in my favor”

“I always deserve good things”

“people are always trying to please me”

“everyone adores me”

now for more self concept knowledge y’all should definitely go check out the queen @cinefairy list of affirmations and her success stories about self concept are just *chefs kiss😚🤌🏾* and the other queen is none other than @sexyandhedonistic not only does she have a list of affirmations that’ll boost your sc sky high since y’all are so obsessed with time crunches and motivational posts (see what I did there 😂😭yea click the link🙂)

again how often you affirm is up to you, I affirmed throughout the day 80x every hour (specifically because 8 is my favorite number and I said go big or go home😂). but if you want to affirm randomly throughout the day, just once or however many times it’s completely ok and completely up to you .

now y’all are officially all set to start this challenge 🤝🏾I cannot stress this enough this challenge is about you and you alone . don’t let other bloggers or other peoples success dictate your results or beliefs . if you don’t agree with something move on and know that it holds absolute zero power unless you give it power. AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM TUMBLR AND ANY OTHER LOA COMMUNITY WHILE YOURE DOING THIS CHALLENGE😂

persistence + consistency + discipline is 🔑( wise words from @kaayxshay )

I look forward to seeing each and everyone of y’all’s success 🫶🏾now have fun and create your own rules ! drive out those limiting beliefs and manifest your dream life and live it to the fullest 🦋

some Neville to send y’all off with 🥰

“I AM is a feeling of permanent awareness. The very center of consciousness is the feeling of I AM. I may forget who I am, where I am, what I am but I cannot forget that I AM. The awareness of being remains, regardless of the degree of forgetfulness of who, where, and what I am.”

“man is actually the arbiter of his own fate, and that it is his concept of himself that determines the world in which he lives [and his concept of himself is his reactions to life].”

“There is only one I AM and you are that I AM. And while I AM is infinite, you, by your concept of yourself, are displaying only a limited aspect of the infinite I AM.”

“Just as the moth in his desire to know the flame was willing to destroy himself, so must you in becoming a new person be willing to die to your present self.”

“However, the only fate governing your life is the fate determined by your own concepts, your own assumptions; for an assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.”

“The ideal you seek and hope to attain will not manifest itself, will not be realized by you, until you have imagined that you are al ready that ideal.”

“All transformation is based upon suggestion, and this can work only where you lay yourself completely open to an influence. You must abandon yourself to your ideal as a woman abandons her self to love, for complete abandonment of self to it is the way to union with your ideal.”

[greeenbeaaan]

What's your favorite scene from any season in Ninjago?

okok i have many scenes in ninjago that i just LOVE but my all time favorite scene has got to be the Oni Temple scene from season 8, episode 7. for multiple reasons:

first off the directing of that scene was phenomenal. the way the camera panned, how sometimes it hovered over the scene, the way everything flowed nicely, THE MUSIC??? I don’t know just every little detail the crew put into that scene was outstanding to me. the way the characters moved and interacted really had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. Lloyd and Harumi are just two characters that every time they’re on screen together, it’s just so gripping and interesting to watch ESPECIALLY in this scene. the way she would cozy up to him and caress his cheek then BAM she’s trying to drive a knife into his side. like wow. or when the camera pans around Lloyd’s head like the gears in his head are turning as he’s piecing together the puzzle in his head about how Harumi is the Quiet One. just everything is fantastic.

the dialogue and voice acting was another thing i absolutely loved. No offense to Jillian Michaels (i love her) but i don’t think having her voice Lloyd for this season and especially this scene would have played out as well as Sam Vincent voicing him. Props to him for real, because the emotion he put into this scene was just so raw and you could really feel the heartache and anger that Lloyd was feeling. And credit doesn’t just go to Sam, it goes to Britt McKillip as well for her performance as Harumi because man- everything she said down to her little voice inflections was phenomenal. how she was able to go from this sweet and caring princess to this just evil and bloodthirsty villain was amazing. there is just so much to say about both of their performances in this scene and this season really.

AND THE MUSIC!! the way it swelled when lloyd was catching onto what was really going on. and if you notice, the music kind of backs off whenever Harumi is gaslighting him to make him believe it’s not her just for the music to kick right back in when he doesn’t fall for it and pushes her away.

i just love hearing Harumi explain all of her motivations for doing what she is doing and having the viewers sit there and be like “well shit i never thought about people dying during the Great Devourer incident” but like dude. people DIED. and we are like Lloyd, who definitely didn’t think about that either and when it hits him you can just see the range of emotions going through him. especially from something he caused (indirectly). like remember when you opened up all the Serpentine tombs? and remember how Pythor unleashed the Great Devourer? yeah people died that day. and yes we know you can’t save everyone and Harumi being a direct result of all of that was perfect.

who knew a like 6 minute scene of just two characters talking to each other could be so gripping? Sons of Garmadon is just incredible and I could talk about it for hours.

i don’t know i just really like this scene a lot and there is so much more i can say but i don’t want this ramble to be too long. long story short, i really love Sons of Garmadon and the Oni Temple scene is my absolute favorite sequence in all of Ninjago. some other favorite scenes i have are Garmadon’s sacrifice in season 4, “why would you touch the scary picture jay” “i didn’t know it would do that cole” in season 5, and literally the last 3 episodes Ninjago Seabound.

[lawnchairthethird]

I’m gonna give yall a quick glimpse into my trip to visit my family. And then I’m going to go home and find a therapist. Holy shit.

-me, husband, two dogs drive 9 hours to visit my parents. We don’t visit a lot because the drive/bringing dogs vs finding financial means to get dog care. My dog is seriously epileptic and cannot be left alone for any length of time.

-my parents live in RURAL America. It’s honestly a little scary here. I lived here for a bit in high school but the house was in town. Now they live an acres of land off a dirt road. It’s actually beautiful except they haven’t maintained anything and their gorgeous house is gross and the driveway is literally like crumbling away.

- the reason we decided to visit is my stepdad has cancer. He was in remission, but it’s really likely it’s back and if it is it’s terminal. He’s been in my life since I was 8 but the relationship is really complicated.

-there’s an actual stockpile of guns and ammo in the basement that makes me extremely uncomfortable.

-my mom is…idk I don’t have words. She texts me that ever since they moved here everything has gone wrong. Three of their pets died (they were all extremely old, but it just kept happening one after the other). But she thinks there’s a demon in the house. She sent me pictures of her covered in blood and she keeps “falling” and crashing cars. Idk if she’s on drugs (meth, heroin, and fentanyl are HUGE problems in this town). Idk if my stepdad is beating her. But her legs broken because she ran it over with her car because “the car shifted itself out of park?) she refused to go to the doctor for a month, worked on it, finally got a cast and then she was literally in the bathroom sawing at it with a dremel to ‘make it easier to walk on’

-we were suppose to sleep in the basement which was always nice and had a huge tv and air mattress. Welp- my younger brother turned it into a teenage boy sex den. It’s GROSS. Air mattress is popped. We tried to sleep on the couch, but I think it’s moldy in the basement and made me have trouble breathing.

- my sister is home visiting too (she’s in college/military). She’s just drinking herself stupid to deal with it.

-and to top it off, my dog is being a huge asshole to their dog who is the sweetest.

-my husband and I are going to visit his parents who live one town over. They’re Trump supporting “Christians”

-we’re too tired to safely drive home today, but holy fuck.

-both my parents have tried to convince me my stomach problems are cancer 🙃🙃🙃

-there’s not a single clean towel.

So yeah that’s my trauma. Sorry for super over sharing but I feel so stuck and literally have no escape for like two days. Hopefully one if we leave tomorrow and drive overnight.

[saintjosie]

WAIT YOU AND JESS WEREN'T DATING BEFORE???

storytime! @pirateprincessjess

so i met jess around march 2021 because she raided me on twitch. she said she found me on tiktok and i immediately went to go check her out and followed her back. i actually remember looking at my phone during my stream and thinking, “oh she’s really cute”, following her, and then moving on with the stream.

we chat back and forth for a few months and stream together a few times and then towards the end of 2021, i found out that she only lived a few hours away from me. so i’m like, “hey! you’re nearby, wanna get together and make some videos?”

that was our first time meeting each other in person and it was also the same weekend that we filmed the skirt go spinny video! we got along so well right off the bat but we both knew that we werent ready to date for different reasons.

6 months later, in feb of 2022, jess has her orchiectomy. i had moved twice within those two months, raleigh to dallas and then from dallas to nashville, and we are on a video call late at night while she was recovering from her surgery. jess is stoned out of her mind on pain meds and all of a sudden she is like:

“are we flirting right now?”

and i’m just like 😳😳😳 UM KIND OF MAYBE YES IDK BUT ONLY IF YOURE INTO IT HAHA JUST KIDDING 😳😳😳

to which she responds “nice. you should come visit again. come any time. and i literally mean it, you can come visit ANY time”.

i’m now sweating profusely, “haha okay how about next week?”

i drive 8 hours from nashville to south carolina to help her get around the apartment while she’s recovering from her surgery and hang out with her. on the day before valentine’s day, the day before i am headed back home, we decide we are going to try dating and that we are gonna take it really slow.

for the next month we spend hours talking on facetime every day. at first a few hours a night, then five, then 10, then we are falling asleep and waking up together over facetime. then i finally get to go and visit her for a week and we finally get to have our first date. the week is too short. i weep when i have to leave. i weep on the drive home. there was nothing slow about how fast i fell for her.

a month away from jess then a week with jess. we do this for 8 more months. driving back and forth 8 hours has never been easier. we talk about moving in together but it’s too much too fast and we don’t want to be hasty uhaul lesbians. until finally my lease is up and we cave.

it’s been four months now since we’ve moved in together and it’s been absolutely incredible 🥰

[zephfair]

Hello? Anyone still here?

Hey, who disappeared for months and has desperately missed all her little friends who live on this hell-site but has been too exhausted and overwhelmed to actually login ... and who lost track of where this sentence was going ... Yeah, this girl.🤗

But, wow, have I missed you all and all the beauty that is Tumblr, and I hope you'll forgive me for secreting myself away since--holy cow--January.

Quick life update behind the cut.

So, I knew going back to work full-time at my age after quite a long unintended break AND now having health disabilities, well, I knew it would be hard. I knew I would have to adjust my whole, entire life. I expected it to be incredibly difficult, and I fully planned to give myself some grace and time in having to change my every routine.

But somehow, I still underestimated it.

I am so thankful to have a job now, with a steady (if small) income and benefits that frankly make me want to weep with thanks. I mean, I don't have time to go to the doctor, but at least now I could afford to go, if I could get there.

But wow, work is tough. Not just the literal work but, as I said, changing my entire life around it. I'm not complaining, but I am doing my best to learn all new skills (job is not in my old field), relearn how to work and reschedule my own needs and just upend everything.

The absolute worst thing has been trying to take care of my aunt. I was to leave town on Jan. 7 to start my training on Jan. 8.

My 90-year-old aunt fell and broke her pelvis (and a finger and needed some stitches) Jan. 2. I spent every waking hour with her over the rest of that week. While I'd planned to spend that week cleaning my house, getting my business in order and just resting, I was freaking out and traveling through the snow and literally worried sick about her.

It was bad.

And I couldn't stay with her like I did when she broke her hip because I had to attend training full-time. At least they let us come home super-early from that first on-site week of training, but that led to a literal nightmare of a drive home one night through snow, ice, rain, flooding and fog that I'm not joking I've had nightmares about before and now since. Long story.

So, I spent January and February training and working 9 hours a day then spending all day Saturday at her place cleaning and doing laundry and making sure she had everything she needed for a week, and then I had Sunday to do my own laundry and clean the house and take care of my own things...which just keep getting pushed back because I'm too worn out.

Thank God, Aunt made a miraculous recovery and now is doing her own house and laundry etc. but I still go out one day a weekend and do anything else she needs and make sure she has all her groceries and supplies and stuff.

We're all each other has.

Needless to say, I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't sleep well anyway, but add the stress of the new job and my dear aunt and my own health issues, and I'm exhausted. Weary. Overwhelmed and just so very tired. My body is so heavy, I can barely move anymore. It's bad.

And when I finally got to my doctor two weeks ago for my long-delayed check-up, found out I was right about my blood pressure being sky-high again. It went high for the first time several years ago when my Mom was dying, but it eventually settled and was fine. But yeah, it's bad again now. No shock there. And all my lovely chronic health conditions have flared which was no surprise--again, I had braced myself to expect it and power through it, and that's what I'm doing. But it sucks. And it's hard. And there's so much pain.

I don't want to say much about my job, but the over-arching Praise the Lord wonderful thing about it is working from home. There have been so many days already that I never would've been able to get to an office to work, but I can push through it here because I don't have to use any spoons to get myself "ready" (sweatshirts and leggings, no personal grooming necessary, yay), and I don't have any anxiety about driving because zero commute. It has its challenges too because Teams is a weird office communication alternative to get used to, but on the good side, I don't have to deal with interpersonal drama from co-workers.

The work itself is challenging, but I have some days where I finally feel quietly competent and think, Oh, I can actually do this. And then there are some days that leave me in tears and praying for help because it's just too hard. But there's no way I'm quitting; they're going to have to fire me because did I mention the benefits are incredible? I mean, I live in the US and if you knew how much I had to pay last year for my own health insurance, and then the scope and biopsies and then the skin cancer and surgery and then the other skin pre-cancer biopsy and treatment. Yeah, I'm still in big debt from all of that.

So I keep praying that they keep me and that I'll do a good job. And my immediate supervisor has started piling extra work on me over the past 3 weeks so suddenly I'm doing my own stuff AND cleaning up the work from co-workers who aren't keeping up. And all of them have been working since October while just a handful of us began in January?

I have been complaining about this to my aunt, and I thought it meant that my supervisor thinks I'm incapable or is punishing me for trying to get through own my entire workload every single day. But she believes he's giving me all their shit work because I'll actually do it, and I admit, I have gotten some of it completed successfully after they'd given up on it. So, I don't know.

I know that I'm a perfectionist and I've always pushed myself as hard as possible to do my best at work (not at housework and other things in my life lols) but I really hope that it gets me a good reputation at this job and they keep me.

So yeah, that's what's going on here. I've completely abandoned the fandom things in life that I actually enjoy. I almost feel, like, guilty when I'd think about trying to make some time to browse Tumblr or wasting time on social media or even trying to write fic. I get done with work at 6:30 pm, and until I get something to eat and then clean up, it's 8 or 8:30. I have to spend about an hour on the phone with Aunt (and I call her every morning, break, and lunch time too). By then, I can barely walk or move so I just try to make it upstairs to bed. Even though I can't sleep, it just feels nice to lie down.

But I miss all of you. And I miss fandom fun. And I want to be around more because maybe it would recharge me rather than me feeling so freaking overwhelmed every minute of the day.

And I promise not to complain and bitch all the time, now that I've gotten it out of my system. But thanks for listening.

I do miss you, and I love you all.

PLEASE let me know if I've missed anything important in your lives and goings on here! I've got A LOT of catching up to do!

[minimooberry]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ✌️💗💗

ELIJAH RAI DEVI.*

Elijah is the epitome of daddy issues, but honestly he's got every single possible issue by the time he's old enough to drink. This poor man is going through it constantly 😭

Elijah almost got kidnapped when he was a week old and his mom Anya was so out of it she lowkey stabbed the guy and was so guilty that she just called his dad Asher and told them not to bother coming back home, that she was gonna start moving everything they needed into the house they were planning to move into anyway and to just drive there after his shift.

Elijah was born when Anya was 17 and Asher was 21. She had just barely finished high school by the time he was born and only started college when he was around 3 years old. Since his dad worked much longer shifts than his mom, he was always closer to Anya and Asher.

He met his best friend Roxy on the first day of kindergarten when they were paired together for an art project. They stayed friends until she was killed when they were 16 years old by her father.

Elijah is 8 years older than his sister Aathira and 12 years older than his brother JJ. He actually named Aathira lol

his addiction is like lowkey one of the only things he really remembers from being a teenager. most of elijah's memories are being high, hanging out with roxy, arguing with his dad, and being appointed the third parent to his little siblings.

and roxy dying, but he honestly considers that the end of his teenage years because he runs away and joins the military the second he can

and for like a while anya and asher don't notice because they have a one year old and a five year old at home that constantly need attention and elijah's always been like. independent

elijah looks older too. by the time he's like 14 that guy can grow a beard, so no one really looks at him weird when he buys stuff. it doesn't really start affecting his entire life until he's 15 and he does heroine for the first time, but that just spirals. he's always mad at his dad and that he talks so much shit but doesn't even blink when he's gone for hours, he's mad at roxy's dad for being fucking creepy and making her feel uncomfortable in her own house, he's mad at the town because nothing good ever fucking happens in it, and he's mad at himself for being so dependent on something he can't handle a few days without losing it. he hates being sober because he's literally just the embodiment of anger.

he runs away at 16 and the second he turns 18 he joins the military because he thinks that if he dies in battle it would be a 'good' way to die. better than overdosing.

OOKAY HAPPY STUFF NOW

he meets nilaani when he's 23 while he's drunkenly venting to him while he's serving her at tha bar and they eventually have a marriage of convenience (fake marriage) to appease her family

the tattoo on his hand in the henna that nilaani had on their wedding day. she admitted to him that she felt that he viewed her more as a burden than anything because it was her family that was the driving factor behind their marriage. elijah's like 'wtf, you're the coolest, smartest girl i've ever met dummy' and the next day he shows her the tattoo. that's when they have their first actual kiss 😋😋

when they find out that nilaani was having twins, she names their daughet lakshmi after the goddess lakshmi, and since at that point they didn't know that jj was still alive, he names their son jayden. their nicknames are lucky and jj 😓😓

[rivetgoth]

hey char! out of curiosity, how did you and angel get together? and whats one of your favorite things about her? :)

We met right here on Tumblr through this interaction :D

She followed me and I hadn’t followed back at the time (I really rarely check new followers) but after she sent this ask and I answered it I followed her back. After that we started interacting with each other in the comments of our posts and stuff, then we got each other on different social media, and after a couple of months she reached out on Instagram to tell me that she actually lived close by and inviting me to come hang out with her. We hit it off immediately and spent like hours and hours and hours talking, we kept driving from place to place around the city finding more things to do, we went to a record store, a little alternative store, we got food, we got coffee, and from there we started talking to either through text or on the phone literally every day. We’d spend HOURS on the phone together back then, like sometimes 8-9+ hours, just sitting there talking.

Like I love this screenshot, of us awake at 5:40 AM on the phone for 8 hours talking about Paul Barker 😭

We also would meet up pretty frequently in person too of course. Like one time that she stayed over the night before Record Store Day and instead of sleeping we stayed up the literal entire night into the next day talking about Nivek Ogre and Al Jourgensen. And then we moved in together before we were a couple about six months later. We were both looking to move anyway so the timing just worked out and we could kinda “test run” things since I was in a dorm room at the time that was much larger than it needed to be because my school didn’t know how to provide gender inclusive housing for transitioning individuals LMAO. We cohabitated really well and living together only made us grow closer. FWIW I was attracted to her right away, I remember the first moment I fully processed what she looked like was when she first messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out and I looked through her selfies so I’d be able to recognize her when we met and could not believe she really looked like that. I was like lol no way is this person this hot and asking to hangout 😳

Anyway. A little while after moving in together I think there was a lot of tension forming between us because she was (spoilers) attracted to me as well. So we started hooking up before we actually started calling ourselves a couple. The funny thing is neither of us really remember the exact moment we started formally considering ourselves a couple. We never had a big “what are we” convo where we put a solid label to things. We had a few conversations about how we hardly knew how to describe our dynamic because girlfriend / boyfriend felt almost juvenile for the level we were at, already living together and sharing finances and then also hooking up, but we started actually verbalizing stuff we were doing as dates, we��d been saying I love you etc for ages already, we started sharing a bed every night, and at some point us being in a relationship was just our reality. 🤷‍♂️

I love her so much. I feel like the luckiest man in the whole world getting to be with her and spend my life with her. Genuinely cannot believe she is so cool, smart and articulate, stylish, thoughtful, funny, with such good taste in music and everything else, and that she is my baby. It’s still so surreal. As for a FAVORITE thing, it’s so hard to pick just one obviously lol, but I think one of the things I appreciate about her more than anything and that I never ever want to take for granted is the way she’s always striving to learn and grow and form a fully consistent and logical and articulate worldview and ethical / philosophical system, like she’s always thinking about new things, reading new works, investigating the world around her, engaging with complicated subject matter, sharing her insights with me, trying to genuinely form a cohesive system for how to make the world a better place, and that’s inspired and driven me so much to do the same. She’s genuinely one of the smartest people you will ever talk to. I never get bored of our conversations and I learn so much from her all the time.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Part 9**

A/N: Ahhhh finally and it's a long one! I really love this chapter because our characters have reached 2 new milestones. Also, I've been feeling very nostalgic and the places I wrote about are very real and extremely important places to me since I was a teenager 🥹. When I was in high school my friends and I ditched school (well we did on countless occasions haha) and would drive out to the mentioned beach and dune and hang out and sing and play guitar for hours, I felt safe and comfortable and so happy there (I might be wrong, but I think 1D actually filmed WMYB at this beach, or at least it looks similar). Either way, I just wanted to mention that because it really just helped me tap into the feelings I wanted to portray in this chapter and ultimately it helped me be able to finish writing this chapter. I really hope you guys like it and thank you so much for your patience! 💖

WC: 11.9K

Warnings: Mentions of family drama (same as part 8), mutual masturbation, facefucking (male receiving), slight degradation, subspace/topspace.

I forgot to tag people in part 8, here it is!

Series Masterlist

Y/N was smiling bright and looking out the window on his side as they drove down the 1, more commonly known as the Pacific Coast Highway. She liked the beach, it was one of the reasons why she had been so excited to move in with her aunt in LA. She usually hit the beaches in OC, wanting to avoid the heavy traffic out near Malibu. However, Harry drove through the small coastal city, the traffic diminishing the further out they got. She glanced over to him and he spared a quick glance to her.

“We’re going to the Ventura County beaches.” He said to her and she nodded, “Have you ever been out here?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, not that I recall.” She said.

“They’re not as crowded as Malibu beaches.” He explained.

“Mmmm… and how did you come across it?” She asked.

“My first week here I just went for a drive and I just ummm…kept going.” He shrugged with a little smile. “Saw the beach we’re going to and I absolutely loved it. It’s small and it’s got lots of trees and it’s not very crowded, it’s very pretty there.” He explained, she was excited now and they winded up the 1 North. 

They hadn’t really said much, just listening to the music playing softly over the speakers and enjoying the view. She was grateful that he had whisked her away, as much as she loved being at the shop it was currently hard to sit there and feel like she was being forced to choose. She wanted to work on her things in peace with someone she cared for and trusted, maybe clarity would come with the calm.

“Everything alright?” Harry’s voice intruded her thoughts and she turned towards him and nodded.

“Yeah, just thinking about what happened.” She said and sighed, “They ummm…basically said that as long as I stay on this trajectory that they wouldn’t speak to me.”

“Oh.” He frowned and squeezed her hand a little bit. There wasn’t anything to say that she hadn’t already heard, so she appreciated his quiet contemplation of the information she’d just shared before saying anything, “What’s bothering you most about the whole thing?” He finally asked and she immediately knew.

“That I know what they did to Julie for doing whatever the hell she wanted, she literally was painted out to be this evil and rebellious black sheep because she wasn’t living too traditionally, it was awful! And I don’t know, I just feel stupid for thinking or…hoping that when it came to me they’d come around.” She said and Harry nodded as he still focused on the road, but listened intently to her, “I’m such an idiot. So fucking naive.” She almost spat to herself with disdain and Harry frowned.

“You’re not naive or an idiot, it’s your family, Y/N, you’re not out of turn to expect them to love you as they always have. It’s not an unrealistic expectation to want their support. This is not your fault.” He said to her and she nodded.

“I know Harry, but it feels like it.” She said turning towards him and he frowned.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He said and she sighed.

“God, must think my family’s a herd of bigots and traditionalists.” She huffed with an eye roll.

“I mean, a little bit,” he said with a chuckle and she giggled, “But look the only person I care about impressing is Julie and well, I’ve got her in the bag.” He said with a happy smile, “Or at least I think I do.” He spared a glance to Y/N and she smiled.

“Your confidence is sexy and not misplaced in any way.” She responded.

“I can’t tell if you mean that or are saying it sarcastically.” He chuckled.

“Well that’s for you to figure out.” She teased.

“I need to know if Julie likes me!” He chuckled, “Every time I’m over and run into her I have these full fledged conversations because she’s so easy to talk to! And you know I’m not really a talker. Am I like this annoying guy who comes around with a crush on her niece?” He asked her as she laughed.

“She loves you, don’t worry.” Y/N assured him and he smiled in relief.

“Good.” He hummed happily. It was only about five more minutes before they started to emerge through this very rocky part of the coastline and he smiled.

“And on your left you’ll find Sycamore Cove.” He said in his best “tour guide” tone and she grinned at his theatrics.

“Wow, that’s different.” She said and he nodded.

“It’s pretty right?” He asked as he rolled to a stop slowly and turned on his blinker to turn into the nearly empty lot, there were only two other cars there that she could see and soon he was rolling over the sandy lot and fitting into a spot, “Surprise.” He turned to her with a smile and she was beaming.

“I love this, thank you.” She assured.

“Great. I’ve also got something that we’ll need to do after this. You’re going to absolutely love it.” He said and she grinned in excitement.

“Can’t wait.” She hummed. Harry instructed her to grab her tote and his from the backseat while he grabbed the blanket and other things he had brought with him for this outing. Once she heard the trunk shut he walked past her to guide her way. As soon as the reached the sand he just slipped his feet out of his white vans, well they were more light gray and very wrecked up, but it was funny to her that he had been occupying these as slippers basically, “Wait, let me lean on you.” She said and he came on over so that she could steady herself as she slid out of her own shoes and socks before they continued their trek. 

“To your left.” He said as she got a little distracted looking over to the rocky structure they had driven past not even ten minutes prior, “We can climb that if you want.”

“Maybe when I’m not wearing these jeans.” She said, “I don’t have great range of motion.” She explained with a giggle and Harry sniggered as he stopped by this giant, worn down log. He set down the big Ikea bag he had and pulled out a navy & white checkered black blanket. He carefully extended it and then had her sit. She dropped her shoes to her side before settling into the blanket-covered sand, her back was up against the log. And once she was comfortable he pulled out his sketch pad and his pencil case and sat down diagonally form her. This prompted her to pull out her iPad and apple pen, “What’re you gonna draw?” She asked him quietly.

“Not sure yet.” He hummed.

“Do you want to draw me?” She asked with a smile.

“I could.” He mused and she nodded eagerly, “I’ll try to do you justice, capture you drawing.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, do it! I’m gonna finish this design I’m almost done with and then I’ll draw you.” She said with enthusiasm and they got to work. 

Y/N wasn’t sure if this qualified as romantic, but it was to her. The tension between them was steadily rising. She abandoned her tattoo design rather quickly and started drawing him instead when she felt his intense gaze taking her in. His eyebrows were a bit creased as he focused, but every now and again their eyes would meet and they’d both smile giddily before getting back to it, trying not to get distracted for too long. After a good thirty minutes of drawing and sporadic little pieces of conversation they were wrapping it up. 

“Wanna see yours first.” He said and she scoffed but agreed and hurried to add in the final little details of it.

“Ta-da!” She sang with a smile as she turned over her iPad and he grinned.

“That’s sick. That’s really fucking good.” He said taking it from her carefully and looking over it more closely with a big smile. As he shifted a bit his sketchpad slipped from under his arm and her smile fell as she saw his drawing. Obviously, it wasn’t as detailed as an hour or two-long portrait would be, but it was still an impressive portrait; if this was how he drew she wanted to see how he painted, he had said that was kind of his thing. She smiled as she pulled it closer to her face to see all the little details he had gotten in there - like the sliver of light on her face from the the sun reflecting off of the surface of the iPad. Harry bit his lip nervously as she studied over his drawing of her, “Like it?” He eventually asked and she nodded as her eyes flickered up to his own.

“I love it. Can I keep it?” She asked right away and he smiled and nodded.

“Course you can.” He responded softly and she smiled in quiet excitement. She handed back the sketch pad and he her iPad before Harry meticulously tore out the page and Y/N took it and carefully tucked it into one of the sleeves of her iPad’s cover before she put it away and leant back against the log, but much closer to him than before. “No, c’mere.” He said patting the open space between his legs and she climbed over and settled back into his chest as his hands wrapped around her middle and squeezed her close.

“Missed you.” She said as he rubbed his cheek into the side of her head.

“Missed you most.” He whispered and she smiled, her hands settled on his knees and relished in the warmth of his chest against her back. It was the slightest bit cold, after all it was late November now, “Mmmm, tell me something that no one knows about you.” He said lowly as he let his right hand slip away from around her waist and down his leg to intertwine their fingers together. It sent a hoard of butterflies through her tummy and chest in excitement.

“Ummm…I’ve never had a pet.” 

“What?” He asked and she giggled.

“It’s true! My dad’s allergic to both cats and dogs, s’why we or my grandparents would host holidays and family events, no animal hair.” She explained and he hummed.

“Did you want a pet?”

“Of course. When I was 9 one of my friends got a puppy and well I begged and begged but to no avail. I would take ladybugs sometimes and put them in a little plastic cage I had.”

“That’s sweet.” He hummed.

“A bit pathetic really.” She giggled.

“How many did you have?”

“Three.” She said, “One of them was yellow, I decided he was the boy. His name was Steve, the other two I couldn’t tell apart, they were called Dottie and Spottie.” She sputtered on a laugh and he joined her as well, “I was real creative with the names.” She joked about herself and he hummed in agreement, “They lasted about a week.” She finished and he shook his head as he laughed a bit more, “What about you?”

“I didn’t have any ladybugs. Well we call them ladybirds actually.” He said and she hummed, “But ummm, my mum she’s a cat person. We had two cats growing up, Angel and Violet. And my uncle had a big, black dog. His name was Shadow.” He explained.

“Who did you like best?”

“Well my mum’s cats were total assholes.” He said and she giggled, “Or maybe I was a bit of a brute with them so they didn’t like me so Shadow was my favorite. When those awful cats passed we got another one, her name is actually Dotty as well.” He chuckled, “She’s still alive, she’s very attached to my mum.” He explained and she smiled.

“Would you get a pet now?” She asked.

“I have thought it about it. Been to a few dog adoption events and…fuck, I leave with teary eyes every time.” He confessed and she pouted, “Would take ‘em all if I could.” He said, “There’s this one that I just can’t forget. It looked like a schnauzer, maybe it was a mini one, I don’t know. He’s all black and his name is Sebastian.” He said with a chuckle and she giggled.

“Does he look like a Sebastian?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, he does.” He chuckled, “That’s the amusing thing. He’s three or four, so he’s still playful and a tad mischievous, but he’s very well trained, but you can tell that he has a big personality.” He explained, “I’ve seen him a few times at the events.”

“Do you know why they gave him up?”

“Yeah, the girl from the shelter said that his owners had a baby and they just couldn’t do both afterwards and they didn’t want to downgrade his quality of life.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so he’s definitely spoiled.” Harry grinned and she hummed in acknowledgement.

“What’s something no one knows about you?” She asked back, “But tell me something that you’d only want me to know.” She said and he hummed pensively.

“That’s hard…want you to know everything.” He thought aloud and she felt her heart start to pound and she leaned closer into him, “Mmm…well, I think I want you to know that deep down I’m quite… fragile.” He finished off softly and she bit her lip, “You’ve probably figured it out for yourself, I mean, you’ve seen it for yourself but ummm, I’ve never trusted anyone enough to confirm that because I don’t want people to know just how easily things get to me, you know?” She nodded in understanding, “I want you to know because the way I feel about you is…” he trailed off, “I just don’t want to get hurt.” He finished and she pulled away and turned to face him.

“Look at me.” She said softly and his beautiful eyes met her own, “I would never hurt you. And if I do and cross a line or something please call me out on it.” She said seriously, “I’ve dealt with people like that who are sadistic like that and get off on feeling superior or bigger about themselves when they do that, but I’d never hurt you. Not intentionally, ever. Not to make a point or anything like that.” 

“I know you wouldn’t intentionally.” He said and she nodded again, “And well, I just wanted you to know that because well, I know we’ve been in a weird limbo lately with what’s happening between us and I…want more.” He said and she bit her lip nervously as her heart heart started to beat erratically and the butterflies in her stomach were swarming to the point that she felt like she was vibrating, it was exciting and nerve-racking at the same time.

“More?” She asked softly.

“Yeah, more of you. More of me. More of us.” He said as his hands grabbed her face, “I’m falling for you, Y/N.” He admitted quietly, “I love how it feels when we’re together and as much as I love hanging out and the occasional cunnilingus-” he said and she laughed, “I want to date you. For real.” He said and she grinned.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously.” He smiled, “Want you to be my girl.” He said and she hummed and looked away for a moment before her eyes fluttered back up to meet his gaze.

“Kind of thought I already was.” She said with a smile and he leaned in and pecked her lips quickly.

“Well, yeah in that way you are, but in this way too. In every way.” He said as he leaned back in and their lips met in a slow and sensual kiss that was inching towards hungry and desperate. She moaned as his hands slid down to her ass and pulled her closer to him as his lips started to migrate down her jaw and to her neck and she rolled her head to the side as he kissed and sucked at her heated and tingling skin.

“Oh my god…” she smiled as she squeezed her eyes shut as he sucked gently at her sweet spot and then let go.

“Didn’t leave a mark.” He assured her as his lips ghosted across her throat.

“Wouldn’t care if you did.” She gulped as he choose another spot to suck on and as the words registered he sucked a bit harder and she hummed at the increased pressure before he pulled off.

“No?” He asked and she shook her head no, once again confirming.

“Gonna tell you something else I only want you to know.” She said and he hummed, urging her to go on, “Every time I feel your tongue when we kiss?”

“Mm-hmmm?”

“I just can’t help it,” she started, “start getting so wet for you because I can just imagine how those movements would feel on my pussy. God, you ate me out so fucking good I think about it too much.” She confessed and he groaned as he went back in for a searing kiss and she opened up when she felt his tongue grazer over her bottom lip. He immediately pressed it between her lips and she sucked on it a few times before he drew back and grinned as she moaned quietly.

“You make me feel so out of control. I love it.” He growled and she moaned before he bucked up against her for a second and she hummed and started grinding down onto him and he chuckled as he grabbed her face again, “Not here, baby.” He exhaled and she frowned.

“But I’m aching for you.” She pouted as she ground herself over his erection.

“I am too, baby but we can’t here. There’s people, not to mention sand everywhere. Just be a good girl for me and wait. I will take good care of you, I promise.” He said and she huffed but nodded and made a little more distance between them, “Should we go dip our feet in? Cool down a bit?”

“Yeah.” She said and he smiled and kissed her lips once more before standing and walking the short distance to the shoreline. 

She loved how cold the ocean was; it was a sobering experience for every sound to fade except that of the waves kissing the shore. She glanced down to watch as little pebbles and pieces of shells created little streaks in the soft sand as Harry wrapped his arms around her waist. She watched as the last bits of water got pulled back through the little streaks left by the debris and in her mind it was almost as if the water was clawing at the sand, fighting to say with it and not to be dragged away by the current. She felt the same way as  Harry kissed the side of her head and hugged her a bit tighter as a chill traveled down his spine. She wanted to cling to him for as long as he’d allow it, and like the water, have to be dragged away from him to even consider leaving his side. A bigger wave was coming in and he pulled her back a little bit to ensure that their denim didn’t get soaked at the ankles.

“Gonna roll these up for you, OK?” He said and she hummed before he crouched down and rolled her jeans up above her ankles and did his as well before assuming his previous position. When the next big wave came they didn’t have to hurry back.

“The cold of the water doesn’t bug you?” She asked quietly.

“Love, m’from England.” He said and she giggled.

“Right.” She stated, “Just wondering, usually it’s the first thing people comment on.” She smiled.

“I think our water’s a bit colder than this.”

“Do you still swim in it?”

“I do.” He said and she smiled, “What about you?”

“Yeah. We should come at night though, when it’s cooler out.”

“You’re barking mad.” He chuckled and she shook her head.

“No, I swear the water feels so much warmer. It’s been warmed by the sun all day. You dip in and it’s feels like a heated pool. I swear it!”

“I can tell you why it feels like a heated pool and it’s got nothing to do with the sun.”

“Oh gross, Harry.” She scoffed and he chuckled, “But I swear it’s true. I do it at least once every winter. You have to do it with me at least once.”

“Maybe.” He chuckled and she smiled knowing fully well that she would convince him.

“Are you going home for Christmas?” She asked suddenly turning around and leaning into his chest, her head now settled into the base of his throat comfortably.

“Yeah, promised my mum I wouldn’t miss it.” He explained. She loved the feeling of his throat vibrating as he spoke lowly.

“Oh that’s really great!” She smiled as she pulled back to see his face, “She’s gonna be really excited to see you after all this time. Well, your whole family will be I’m sure.” 

“Y'seem so happy about it. Are you trying to get rid of me?” He asked playfully and she giggled.

“Obviously.” She teased back and he laughed softly, “But honestly I’m just really excited for you to go back and see your family and friends. It’s going to be really great.” She assured and he hummed. 

“I’m actually gonna leave…” he said pulling out his phone from his pocket and his eyes went wide, “Oh shit! Next Thursday, right at midnight!” He said in a slight panic.

“So soon?”

“Shit, yes. I’m all booked up from the 17th to the 24th. S’what Eddie told me.”

“Oh, nice!” She grinned and he smiled.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be sick. I’ve really missed doing those long winded sessions. It’s been so long I don’t know if I can hang any more.” He smiled, “And ummm, what about you? After everything with your family?”

“It’ll be fine. Julie has a little friend group here that gets together for the holidays. They do a secret Santa and a fancy dinner, it’s quite cute.”

“And what about New Year?”

“Same thing, they get together and have a dinner and games.” She said.

“Sounds like fun but if you need anything at all or are feeling down please give me a call. I’ll make time for you, you know that right?”

“Yeah.” She smiled and he kissed her forehead before hugging her tight, “Did this plan of yours extend to dinner?”

“No, just have one more thing for us. It’s the fun bit.” 

“OK.” She giggled, “Want to join Julie and I? It’s pizza night. Once a month Julie allows herself to have her favorite junk food since she’s on a really strict diet considering her health.” She explained and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, if it’s alright with you both.”

“Of course, we always have leftovers and to be quite honest I don’t really like pizza, but I eat it for her, you know?”

“You don’t like pizza?!” He asked incredulously.

“I prefer the little breadsticks. Why can’t they use the same sauce for dipping the breadsticks on the pizza? That’s one issue! And well, also cheese doesn’t really agree with me.” She explained.

“It makes you toot, does it?” He inquired with a grin and she laughed softly.

“I would much rather it make me toot. It makes me sick, like puke sick.” She explained and he frowned.

“Oh.”

“I know, can have one small slice and that’s all.” She explained and without any warning he crouched down a bit and wrapped his arms around her before lifting her off of the ground and she shrieked out in shock before he started spinning them around. His boisterous laugh was so contagious.

“Oh my god!” She laughed loudly along with him until he abruptly stopped spinning them and slowly set her down and she slid her hands up to his biceps.

“Made myself dizzy there.” He said quietly as he pinched his eyes closed and she giggled and tip-toed, hoping to catch him with a surprise kiss, but he was quite tall and with the mushy and wet sand beneath her, the pressure of her trying to hoist herself higher actually sunk her into the sand and her lips missed the intended mark but smooshed right where his cute little mole was and he blinked his eyes open as she slightly pulled back to look at the glossy little mark she left behind and smiled and continued to bring her hand up to smear away the oily residue with her thumb.

“Sorry, s’a cute little thing.” She said of his mole and he smiled meekly.

“You’re a cute little thing.” He hummed, deflecting the attention away from him and right back to her. She smiled as her eyes stayed fixed on his, they were so pretty and clear as the afternoon sun shone into them. God, she was so into him it hurt her.

“Cute enough that you’ll think about kissing me?” She asked with a smile and he smirked.

“I think about kissing you for an ungodly amount of time, love.” He responded, “But by now you must know that it doesn’t stop there. I’m a man of action.” He said lowly as he leaned closer to her.

“Mmm-hmm.” She nodded, tilting her head up, following his movements as he inched their mouths closer together until his lips brushed against hers and he smiled before closing the gap with a slow, yet ardent kiss. She was obsessed with the way they moved together, in perfect harmony with each other. His big hands always ended up holding her face with the utmost care, it made her swoon and after a few more seconds of being completely swept away by this captivating kiss they parted to inhale a proper breath before she smiled up at him and he sighed and slightly shook his head, “What?”

“Seeing you smile at me makes it incredibly difficult to not kiss you non stop until we both can’t breathe or even think. Specially when I know that I’m the reason you’re smiling.” He said quietly, as if this beach were crowded and the message was solely for her. She felt her heart just about melt into mush as his words processed and she just surged up and kissed him quickly once more.

“I’m so fucking fond of you.” She breathed out when she pulled back and he smiled.

“I’m fucking fond of you too.” He whispered before kissing her forehead before he pulled her into his chest and they both exhaled simultaneously as the waves continued crashing into the shore, this was the perfect soundtrack to this moment. Things rarely felt divine or perfect and this afternoon with him, despite how hard her day had been, was the perfect day, she wasn’t sure what more could happen to make it any better. This was it.

“H, I do want to go on that date with you, by the way.” She confirmed, “I realize I didn’t really say anything before, but I would really like that. Having more with you.” She smiled timidly and he grinned.

“Best thing I’ve heard all day.” He hummed, “Well apart from you kidnapping bugs to keep as pets and naming said bugs Dottie and Spottie. And we can’t forget Steve!” He laughed and she rolled her eyes as she laughed and pushed him back slightly by the chest.

“You’re so annoying.” She grumbled and he was quick to latch his fingers into her belt loops and pull her back into him.

“Yeah, sorry about that but you’re stuck with me.”

“Mmmm, not necessarily, not yet!” She reminded, “So behave.” She warned and he grinned.

“You do deserve me to behave, don’t you?” He reasoned, “You’re always so good for me.” He said and she bit her lip while she nodded in confirmation, “I’ll behave.” He grinned and she smirked.

“So, what’s after this?” 

“So remember how I said I just kept driving down the PCH?” He asked and she nodded, “Well, I saw a sand dune it’s not too far from here. There were families climbing up and racing down or using like plastic bin lids as sleds…” he said and she smiled, “It was really cool and it looked like fun. I wanted to try it, we don’t have anything like that in England, or at least not that I recall.” He explained.

“OK, yeah, let’s go!” She grinned and he smiled and they hurried to pack up. Soon enough they were back in the car and Harry was peeling out onto the highway and it was only about a mile down when he pointed at it.

“See, it’s there!” He grinned excitedly and her eyes went wide. It was huge, you had to climb up a good distance of the mountain to reach the top of the dune. Harry was under no illusion that Y/N would want to climb up the sand dune with him. It was a long way up and if she fell she’d be completely full of sand and dirty and he didn’t want to make her feel like she had to, he really just wanted to do this and he’d be grateful if she could take a picture of him after he’d come down at full speed. The day he drove by everyone looked like they were having a total blast as they raced down, some people did fall others were fortunate not too. He’d been so caught up in watching that day that he almost rear-ended someone, but it just looked like one of those things that you had to try and that’d you’d love the memory of it in the future. It looked liberating and like good wholesome, nostalgic fun. He slowly steered out onto the shoulder and as soon as he shut off the engine Y/N reached down to slip out of her shoes.

“Wait, you want to go up with me?”

“Are you kidding? Hell yes!” She grinned and she leaned over and kissed her.

“It could get messy if we fall.” He warned and she shrugged.

“We can have a shower at mine, I’ve got plenty of clothes that’ll fit you.” She assured and he grinned.

“Yeah, alright let’s do it.” 

The hike up was exhausting. Walking on the sand is hard enough, now imagine doing it uphill; even Harry had to take a break towards the middle of the dune and he was in excellent shape. Y/N was just reminding herself to breathe through her nose and was fighting for her life to be able to keep up with him. When they made it to the top they were a bit sweaty, but the cool breeze helped remedy that. The clear view into the ocean was magnificent and so breathtaking.

“That’s so fucking gorgeous.” He expressed with awe as he looked out at the vastness of the ocean before them, “And we have it to ourselves?” He said before turning to her and she grinned.

“This is epic.” She agreed, “So are we racing or what?”

“If you want to lose, yes.” He smirked and she narrowed her eyes.

“Yeah, OK… we’ll see about that!” She said and without any warning she started running down.

“You fucking cheater!” She heard him yell and she started to laugh loudly. 

She started picking up momentum a lot faster than she anticipated, she was nearing the halfway point and her legs could hardly keep up with her. She could hear Harry close behind her and soon they were running down the sand side by side with big smiles and laughs flowing freely from them, the wind whipped past them and carried the sand being kicked up from their sprinting away and into the air. They were getting close to the bottom and they had to start slowing down lest they end up running into the middle of the 1. Of course, in their attempted to slow their runs the first person to go down was Harry, he dug his foot in too hard and started to roll down a few times and as Y/N spared a glance back to laugh at him she too lost her balance and fell into the sand but thankfully she was closer to the bottom and the sand was not as dense there so she did not start to snowball down like Harry. She was panting and laughing as she pushed herself up, she was definitely all sandy and she turned around to see Harry about 30 feet away from her still on his back and laughing loudly. She climbed up to him and saw that his eyes were pinched shut as he laughed.

“Guess I won.” She teased and he scoffed and went to open his eyes and immediately groaned.

“Fuck, there’s sand in my eyes now.” He griped, “And also you’re a fucking cheater.” He said as his eyes started to tear even as they were pinched shut and she grabbed his hand.

“A win is a win.” She teased, “Sit up, I’ll help you.” She said and as soon as he was sitting up he started to rub at his eyes with his fists to help his tears expel all of the sand, “You alright?”

“Yeah, s’almost out I think.” He grumbled and then started to slowly blink his pretty green eyes open.

“Here, let me blow a little air into your eyes.” She said and crouched down and used her thumb to drag his undeyes down a bit, “Look up, for me.” She instructed and he did so and she blew cool air into his eye for a few seconds and he quickly blinked it shut as more tears fell, “Is it out?” She asked after a few moments.

“Yes, thank you baby.”

“Course, now the other one.” She said and they repeated this process again until his eyes were free of sand. His face was still sticky with tears and rough with sand though, she didn’t even want to think about his hair, her own hair! They were in for a mess when they showered.

“Can’t believe you’re that person…” He laughed and she rolled her eyes.

“Oh please, with how competitive you are I’m surprised I lasted that long. Was half expecting you to trip me or something.” She joked and he laughed.

“I would, but I’d never admit it if I did.” He confirmed with a grin and she rolled her eyes.

“That was really fun.” She announced with a big smile beaming on her face.

“Even if you’re all full of sand?”

“Yes! It was very worth it!” She giggled.

“Fun enough to do it again?”

“Today, no. I’m too lazy to climb up.” She confessed with a grin, “But I would definitely do this with you again in the future.” She confirmed.

“Cool.” Harry smiled, “Well, I am going to go again and I need you to record so I can show my mum.” He said and she felt her heart get all melty and warm inside of her, “She’s gonna love this.” He said with a big grin and Y/N nodded.

“Yeah, alright. The phone’s in the car?”

“Yes.” He smiled, “Here are the keys.” He said reaching deep into his front pocket and handing them to her and she hurried off to get his phone as he started climbing back up. It was then that she realized that he was slowing down for her, not taking a break at the halfway point because he was now going up at a faster pace and when he reached the top she held up her index finger, indicating for him to wait a moment as she set his phone to record and then put a thumbs up and he returned the gesture before he started running down the sand dune again. She giggled quietly as he sped down and the closer he got to the bottom the clearer his big smile was. She was zooming into him so that his mom could see just how much fun he was having. There was a pretty sizable boulder near the bottom and being the show off he was, he veered toward it.

“Oh my lord, H…” she mumbled lowly as he went straight for the boulder, “Be careful!” She shouted instinctually knowing that he would try to be a show off and jump over it. She literally gasped as he propelled himself up and sighed in relief when he made it clean over the boulder before he started to slow down as he came to the bottom and started running towards her now.

“Did you get that?!” He called as his sprinting started becoming a jog.

“Yeah!” She shouted back and soon he was coming to a halt a few few away from her and she smiled at him and he returned the gesture as she stopped the recording, “Your mum’s gonna love it.” Y/N said as he walked up to her and she handed over the phone so that he could look at the video and she leaned into his side to watch with him. 

Harry couldn’t help but smile as he heard her quiet mumbles of concern when he started heading towards the boulder and her shout warning him to be careful, the gasp, the sigh of relief, it was sweet how much she cared and he used his free hand to pull her into his side as the video started to come to an end.

“My mum’s going to appreciate you fretting over me the most.” He chuckled and she giggled.

“Yeah, you’re a wild one, someone has to look out for you!”

“Well, thank you.” He hummed as he leaned down and puckered his lips before she tiptoed and kissed him quickly, “Ready to go home?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” She smiled.

The drive home was nice, they both hummed along to the radio and he told her about the tattoos he would be working on in England, and they held hands the entire way. When they arrived at Julie’s place they made sure to shake off as much sand as possible before heading inside.

“We’re home!” Y/N called out and hearing that made Harry smile and feel warm inside.

“Oh, Harry’s here?!” He heard Julie call from somewhere and he also loved that she automatically assumed it was him who she had brought in. Soon enough she was coming out to the front door as they carefully took their shoes off.

“Heard it was pizza night and I could not miss out.” He explained and Julie smiled.

“Oh yes! Happy to have you, the more the merrier!”

“We won’t hug you because we just came form a sand dune and we’re a mess.” Y/N explained.

“Oh yeah, no worries.” Julie laughed.

“H, you can have a shower first and I can go shake out your shoes outside.” Y/N said.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” She insisted, “Can you get him a towel, please?” She asked Julie who nodded.

“Course! C’mon, Harry.” She said guiding him back as Y/N stepped back out and banged Harry’s shoes together to get the sand out of them. Julie soon peaked out and Y/N smiled as she did the same thing to the shoes she was wearing.

“Do we still have that battery-operated handheld vacuum? There’s so much sand in the car.” She said to Julie.

“Yeah, I’ll go grab it.” She said and hurried back inside. Y/N reached into Harry’s tote at the entrance of the house and grabbed his keys and soon she and Julie were heading out to the car and vacuuming up as much of the sand as possible.

“So what’s going on with Harry?” She asked with a grin and Y/N smiled.

“He asked me out, so we’re going to date. Don’t know the plan he has yet but yeah, we’ll start going out.” She said timidly.

“Finally!” Julie grinned with excitement and Y/N blushed, “What about Christmas, does he need someone to spend it with?”

“No, he’s going back to England on the 15th.”

“So soon?”

“He’s finishing up some big pieces before the holidays.” She explained, “But I’m glad he’s going to be going home for a bit. I know he misses his family more than he lets on.” Y/N said with a small smile.

“Yeah, that must be nice for him. When’ll he be back?”

“I didn’t ask, but I assume until the next year at some point.” She explained and Julie nodded.

“And what about you? Are you going to try and mend things with your parents or are you joining my holiday extravaganza?” She asked with a lighter tone.

“I think I need some space from them so you can count me in to your festivities.” Y/N grinned and Julie squealed in excitement.

“I will make it the best one yet!” She assured. Soon they headed inside. Y/N peaked down the hall briefly to see the bathroom door still closed before following Julie to the kitchen.

“OK, Harry’s still in the bathroom so I’m gonna hop in your shower.”

“Well I’m about to head out and order the pizza, I heard of this new place downtown where they have great vegan pizza, I know cheese fucks you up and now that you have a boyfriend I can’t risk you having explosive diarrhea.” She teased and Y/N scoffed.

“Oh my god! Also, he’s not my boyfriend.” Y/N clarified and Julie rolled her eyes, “Can’t you order on the phone, don’t want him to be all alone when he gets out.”

“I tried, they’re new so they must be busy, they’re not answering and their DoorDash is not active. I’m sure I’ll be a while.” She huffed.

“OK, well good luck. I’ll see you in a bit.” She said before heading out to grab their totes from the front door and take them to her room. She quickly texted his phone then headed off quietly over to Julie’s room.

********

It took Harry a while to get the sand out of all of his nooks and crannies, but when he finally did he realized that he had not asked for any clothes beforehand and stood in the bathroom with his ear pressed to the door for a good five minutes to hear if Y/N was around, he then peeked out into the hallway and called for her and no one came, he didn’t want to wander around and make Julie uncomfortable so instead he wrapped the towel securely around his hips and scurried across the hall into Y/N’s room. He shivered at the cooler temperature and just grabbed his phone before sitting on the edge of the bed. He then saw her text to take his time and that she was showering in Julie’s room. He didn’t want to search around her drawers for clothes so he grabbed the TV remote and stayed put. It was about ten minutes later when Y/N tapped on the door lightly before slipping inside and closing it behind her. She too was wrapped in her towel, hair dripping wet as she shivered.

“Forgot to grab clothes.” She said through chattering teeth.

“You forgot to give me clothes. Was calling and calling for you, m’sure Julie thought I was dying.” He said and she frowned.

“Oh my god, Harry! You could’ve looked around, you must be freezing cold.” She said heading over to her cabinet to find him something, “Also Julie left to get the pizza. S’gonna be vegan I hope that’s alright with you.” She informed as she pulled out a t-shirt and some sweat pants.

“Yeah, m’not picky.” He said and she stood back up and turned towards him.

“Perfect.” She smiled and set the clothes down blindly as her eyes raked down his toned and tattoo-infested chest. He was dry by now but that didn’t mean he was any less lovely to look at. Harry felt a little shy as she looked over him, but it made him feel good about himself, he worked hard for his physique and he was glad that she found him attractive, “You’re kinda hot.” She said softly with a smile and he chuckled.

“Kinda?”

“Yeah, kinda.” She teased and he shook his head as she kept him humble. “Now that I have you here in the nude let me see how your tattoo is healing up!” She said and he chuckled again and carefully raised the towel on his left thigh to expose the tiger she had inked in there about three weeks prior. She crouched down again to get a closer look and she smiled as she looked it over; it was healed now and it was looking really good, “You don’t have to flex your thigh, you know?” She teased as she gently pinched the underside and looked up at him through her lashes. 

That look in her eyes did things to him. Just her in general turned him on so easily and the only thing he could think about as she looked up at him like that was her pretty lips parting to fit his cock inside of her mouth. God, she would look so pretty like that. Taking his whole cock in her mouth and drooling for him. Next thing he knew she was leaning closer and pressing a quick and innocent kiss to the tiger she had inked into him and he swallowed thickly and tensed up as his cock started to grow hotter and thicker.

“What happened?” She asked when she looked up to see his eyes pinched shut.

“Nothing, nothing your mouth’s just really close to my prick and I got a little riled up.” He said as he blinked his eyes open, “Sorry. It’ll go down in a sec.” He said and she shook her head.

“No, it’s alright.” She assured him and then glanced down to the slightly tented part of the towel over his hips, “How long’s it been now?”

“I’m not sure.” He said and and she bit her lip before running her tongue over it.

“Can I suck on you? Please?” She asked as her nails gently raked down his thighs, making him shiver as he breathed out sharply through his nose.

“Always get me with those fucking manners.” He mumbled before just unwrapping the towel and letting it fall to the sides and she literally moaned and salivated as she saw his semi-hard cock resting over his perfectly round and swollen balls, it hadn’t even pushed out of his foreskin yet. She inched closer on her knees and let her own towel fall as she brought her other hand up to his right thigh and then she just looked up at him with those puppy-dog eyes but not touching him there without his permission, “Fuck, so pretty. You’re so pretty, baby.” He complimented and she smiled.

“Thank you. But I really just want to suck you off. Please.” She keened once again, “Please. Been so good for you.” She reminded, her patience was wearing thin.

“No you haven’t,” he huffed out a mocking laugh, “You cheated today.” He said and she pouted, “Good girls don’t cheat. Do you think you deserve to suck me off after that? I don’t.” He said decisively and she huffed and looked down at his cock and balls just sitting there so close, just within her reach. It couldn’t be helped as Y/N licked over her lips and swallowed down the saliva her mouth was producing; Harry saw this and it was making his impeccable sense of self-control start to fray.

“No.” She agreed sadly, “I’m sorry. What if I just put in my mouth? I won’t suck it or do anything if you don’t want that. I just want to feel it getting all big and hard on my tongue.” She said meekly and he whined softly, his cock growing a little bit more at her suggestion, he was trying to hold back but the thought of his cock resting on her tongue was enough to have him throw his self-torture out the window.

“Fuck, wanna keep my cock warm in your pretty, little mouth, baby?” He asked with a devilish smirk and she nodded.

“Yes. Please.” She said and he groaned and spread his legs wider, nonverbally asking her to come closer and she did and glanced up at him.

“Go on then.” He said quietly and she leaned in, eyes still on his as she parted her lips and let her bottom lip drag against his tip and then she used her tongue to lift his cock just enough to get it into her mouth and she made sure that her eyes were on his as she sunk lower and he moaned as he was finally in her wet and hot mouth. Harry was trying his best not to reach for her hair because this would surely end in him fucking her mouth until he was coming ropes down her throat.

Y/N on the other hand was fighting the battle of her life in order to not suck on him like every fibre of her being was begging her to do. She was salivating and it was getting to be too much and she slightly closed her mouth and Harry groaned as he felt more pressure around his prick as she attempted to swallow down some of her saliva.

“Holy shit.” He moaned lowly and his eyes squeezed shut as he started to get harder at the pressure her swallowing put on his prick. He wanted to come in her mouth so bad, he knew she was a little come slut now, knew she wouldn’t mind him unloading it all in her mouth. His resolve was wavering surprisingly fast. Besides he wouldn’t be seeing her in weeks, he needed to at least have a new memory of her getting him off for his spank bank.

It couldn’t be helped as Y/N’s saliva started to drip from the corners of her mouth, Harry was almost at full size and he was too big for her to even attempt to swallow it down at this point. She hoped he liked things sloppy because she would soon be dribbling down her own chin and making a mess. His tip was now pressing into the back of her mouth and she just wanted to sink a bit lower so that all of it could be in her mouth. She could feel his cock starting to slightly twitch and throb with need.

“Look at you making such a mess, should probably stop now. My cock’s too big for you little mouth isn’t it, baby?” He asked and she shook her head as she looked up at him, “Sweet of you to deny it, but I’m not blind.” He said and he watched as her eyebrows creased inward and he suppressed his grin with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he brought his index finger down to wipe the string of spit that was dripping out of the corner of her mouth and then he sucked it between his lips and hummed. A small whine left her throat and he grinned, loving the pinch of her nails into his thighs, a clear sign of her desperation and withering resolve “God, dying to suck me aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded as best as she could and he hummed, “How wet’s your little pussy for me right now, hmmm? Show me.” He commanded and she slid her hands down her naked torso and her eyes fluttered closed and her mouth opened wider as she circled her clit in passing towards her entrance where all of it was collected, “Did I say to touch yourself there?”

“Uh-uh.” She muffled out.

“Then move it along.” He said and she sighed and reached further between her legs and swirled her fingers around there before bringing them back up and showing him her shiny and stringy with arousal index and middle fingers, “All that just from feeling my cock on your tongue?” He asked mockingly and she whined again as he pulled her arm up higher and leaned down to her fingers and his eyes met hers with a mischievous smile, “Let’s play a game.” He said and she felt a shiver course through her body, “you do what I do, OK?” He said and she hummed in understanding, “Get me out of your mouth and grab my cock.” He said and she looked distressed about it but listened to him. She was finally able to swallow properly and then she looked up at him awaiting his instructions.

Harry then leaned in a bit closer and tapped her sticky fingers to his lips three times and she glanced up at him as she tapped the tip if his cock to her lips and he smiled. Then he kissed at her finger tips and she licked over her lips before kissing the very tip of his cock, the little dribble of pre-cum there glossed over the center of her lips and he grinned at the thought of making her lips all shiny with his pre-cum instead of some lip oil or other product. Y/N was vibrating with anticipation as he parted his lip and breathed onto her finger, it made her inner walls flutter and pulse with need and she did the same to his erection, puffing out a warm breath over it and watched it twitch in her hold. He then circled her fingers around his tongue and she bit her lip as she got closer and parted her lips to let her pink tongue roll out and she guided his cock to circle around it.

“Good girl.” He whispered and she smiled up at him as she pulled back. He then used the tip of his tongue to massage right against the small crevice between her two fingers. She was confident that she understood what he wanted and so she raised his cock just a bit more and her eyes met his as she started to massage her tongue against his frenulum, that sensitive little bit right under the head of his cock.

“Fuck.” He exhaled with a smile, “Love how you know that. Know about that spot.” He said lowly and she nodded as she pulled back and he bit down on his lip, losing his resolve, “Do it again, don’t stop until I do something else.” He said and she was eager to get back to it and he groaned as she tongued at his sensitive spot. It was sending shocks of pleasure through his stomach and down to his toes. Her hand was resting at his inner thigh, keeping his legs parted for her to fit her kneeling body between his. And as he relished in the feeling of her tongue massaging the sensitive parts of his erection he then glanced down once he felt her thumb just lightly tickle at his left testicle. She was reaching out towards his balls and it was making him lose his mind, “Fuck, you can touch there, baby.” He said and she was quick to move her hand to his sack and gently rolled his balls in her warm and smooth palm.

This was so fucking hot, Y/N was nearing her boiling point. She didn’t even noticed the slight pain from kneeling over the rough carpet for however long this was going or the fact that she was naked and a little cold, she was relishing in everything he was guiding her to do. With the way he used his tongue on her cunt and now on her fingers she knew that he probably had given an excellent blow job or two in his day and something about that drove her wild. She wanted to prove to him that she could take good care of him too, as good care as he liked to take of his partners. She then reeled in her thoughts when he released her fingers.

“Get ‘em wet for me again.” He said and she was quick to comply and offer them back up to him and he inhaled deeply once they were in his face and then he used the very tip of his tongue to roll into the crevice between the very tips of her fingers and she let go of his balls to adjust his prick so that she could do as he had done, “I’ll hold it for you.” She said and her hand went back town to fondle his balls, “Don’t be shy, you can squeeze if you want.” He said and she moaned as she gave a light squeeze and then proceeded to take her mouth to his cock. She licked and dipped her tongue against the slit at the very tip of his cock and he groaned. Y/N moaned at the taste of his pre-cum that steadily bubbled up from deep in his balls, up his shaft, and out of his little hole there. She wanted to taste his come so bad. No, she needed to taste his come again. Badly. It was taking every morsel of will power in her not to suck at his tip and draw out more. She needed more.

Harry’s abs were practically trembling at the teasing touches he was having Y/N inflict on him. His balls felt so full and achey as they drew up a bit, his bodies way of indicating that he wanted to come. He wanted to keep teasing her and himself in the process but she was being so good for him, so patient and respectful. She’d been wanting this for a while…

“Fuck…Fuck it, just suck my cock, baby. Please.” He panted and she didn't have to be told twice. Y/N sunk down until she was right up against his little bed of pubic hair without a single second of hesitation and he groaned at the feeling of his cock pressing into the soft spot at the back of her mouth, “Fuck, that’s it, Y/N. Take my whole fucking cock.” He moaned as he watched through teary eyes, he was so overwhelmed and on edge as she dragged her mouth up and down his cock and he sucked the arousal off of her fingers “Rub on your clit for me.” He commanded and she was quick to bring her hand down and circle her swollen little bud, it caused her to moan around his cock, “Oh fuck, make me come, baby. Please make me come with that perfect mouth.” He panted as his fingers scrunched into the bed covers as she started to pick things up, “Shit, that’s it, Y/N. S’so fucking good…” he praised as she gulped and slightly gagged as she took him deeper. Her head game was other worldly as she she focused on the tip and teased and tongued at the spot he had guided her to previously. His abs and thighs were trembling as he neared his orgasm.

Y/N was also getting close as her fingers tickled her clit in quick little swishes. She wanted him to use her to get off, that would certainly help push her over the edge. She sucked at his tip fervently loving the way his moans and praises for her started to pour freely from his parted lips. She loved that he was already getting close, but she needed him to take over. She pulled off of him and he whined.

“Fuck my mouth. Please, want you t’fuck my mouth. Use me to get off.” She said and he frowned, looking like he was hesitant, “I was bad today, wasn’t I?” She asked and he groaned, “Use me, please. Teach me a lesson, daddy.” She pleaded and then immediately bit her lip in worry as the name just slipped out of her mouth. She froze for a second, unsure of how he would react, but Harry was just trying to collect himself. He’d always been curious about the daddy kink, but he didn’t want to ask someone to call him that, he wanted to earn that title from his partner. He wanted them to feel he was a daddy just as much as he felt he was one. And Y/N felt it as much as he did.

“Fuck, baby girl, daddy can fuck your mouth,” he said lowly as he reached his right hand around her head and she moaned as he started to push her down until she was back against his pubic hair and he held her down for a few seconds, feeling her throat bobbing around the tip of his cock without a single whine or sound of complaint, “Oh, fucking hell…” he hissed as he started to thrust up, getting deeper and deeper until she was moaning as her orgasm started to approach, “Shit, I’m about to come.” He warned, “Want it down your throat, like daddy’s good little cock slut? Hmmm?” He asked and she moaned louder in response, “Good girl, was gonna unload there anyway.” He grunted as he continued thrusting a bit more. She was barely breathing through her nostrils and was choking on his cock, the lack of air was making her feel lightheaded and that in tandem with her fingers blurring over her clit was making her start to unravel, “Fuck, here it comes, baby.” Harry grunted and a couple seconds later he was stilling and she felt the first warm spurt hit the back of her throat and she moaned as she started coming at the same time. 

She moaned as his warm, creamy sperm filled up her mouth and it kept coming and coming because it had been a while and he had a lot to give. She was struggling to swallow it all down and what a shame that was because she was loving the taste. She moaned as she worked herself through her orgasm and his was lasting as long as hers, it was incredible and erotic and somehow intimate as he came down her throat but gently scratched at her scalp in soothing motions at the same time until he was whining from the sensitivity and let the grip on her head relax and she pulled back and swallowed the cum in her mouth before she inhaled sharply but never the less she was nuzzling against his cock, kissing and licking at it, still hard despite the huge come he just had. And she also kept rubbing at her clit, already feeling another orgasm coming on because this entire thing had been so sexy and she didn’t want it to end. Her tongue then lapped down at his balls and she started sucking at them as he moaned and groaned before she sucked one into her mouth. She then felt a little range of motion and opened up her eyes and glanced up to see Harry fisting at the tip of cock as she sucked at his balls.

“Fuck, keep going, baby. Got one more for you.” He panted and she moaned as that mere confession had her thighs trembling as she started to come undone again and he grinned as he watched her get herself off to the thought of him coming for her twice, but it couldn’t be helped, she was fucking phenomenal. He has no idea what came over him, but suddenly everything was feeling better and like it was orchestrated perfectly as he listened to his instincts, staving off his need to come until she removed her fingers from her sensitive clit, “Lay on the bed.” He said quickly and she did and he stood over her and continued jerking his cock off with his right hand as his left hand guided her to open up her legs for him and he looked at her sticky and fluttering pussy as he masturbated over her. He suddenly leaned down and opened his mouth and she was quick to bring her cum-coated fingers up for him to suck and he groaned as he tasted her, he loved her taste, “Oh fuck, gonna come.” He panted and pulled back a bit and he went around the corner of the bed, the spot he had been sitting when he was waiting for her and he knelt over her, “Close your eyes.” He warned and she did so quickly and then she felt the little spurt of warmth streak over her face and her lips, “S’mine, right?” He groaned and she moaned in response.

“Yes, daddy.” And then she felt another spurt trail from her breasts to her tummy.

“That’s mine too…oh shit.” He panted.

“Yes, fuck yes.” She whimpered and then he got off of the bed and she felt him stand back between her legs. And then his cum started painting over her spread out pussy and she moaned at the feeling.

“This little pussy’s all mine, too. Fuck, you’re all mine, aren’t you, baby?” He moaned as his orgasm coursed through him.

“Yes, daddy. I’m all yours.” She moaned again and then she felt his tongue over her cunt, licking up his mess. And he worked his tongue over every stream of his sperm that had painted her skin. She was completed covered in goosebumps and shivering under his sensual licks and touches, it made her feel completely unhinged. She was complete mush for him as he  straddled her to be able to kiss and lick the cum off of her face and finally his lips smashed into hers ardently. She just wanted to be close to him and she hugged him tight as one of his hands gently landed over her throat and the other tangled into her damp hair. 

They made out for what felt like ages and the heated kiss slowly started to slow down. He eased her out of it by transitioning them from the tongue-heavy make out into long and deep kisses and finally into shorter pecks and finally to those little eskimo kisses, he nuzzled and rubbed his nose against hers tenderly until her pretty eyes fluttered open and met his own. The way she was looking at him shook him deep into his core, but not in a way that frightened him, in a way that made him want to feel that way forever. She trusted him completely now, she’d let him in all the way. She looked perfect like this.

Y/N couldn’t think or even figure out what it was that she was feeling all she knew was that she felt completely at peace as she looked into his eyes but her body was so alert and alive. Like every cell in her body was feeling a euphoric rush but there was no other way to express that. She was trembling on the outside, but inside she felt like she was on fire, on fire for him. She saw him smile lightly at her and he then kissed her nose and she blinked slowly at him.

“Got you there, didn’t I?” He asked quietly and she just hugged him tighter, needing him to be closer. Even the sound of his voice was impacting her, she could feel it rolling through her like waves. Harry used one of his hands to slightly lift her up off of the bed and he sort of dragged them further up on the bed so that he could lay down too and she curled into him, “I’ve got you love. You were so good. Did so good for me.” He whispered as he squeezed her body reassuringly. She seemed to be getting impatient with feeling so out of sorts and tried to push herself up while still being all trembly and floaty and he smiled at her, “Hey, take your time, baby.” He said softly before kissing her forehead, “S’this your first time feeling like this?” He asked and she nodded, “OK, just hold me, breathe with me.” He said quietly, “Remember, like you had me breathe with you at the housewarming party? Just like that, baby.” He hummed comfortingly and after a few deep breaths Y/N buried her face against his throat and started to cry. He understood that this could be overwhelming and she had just dealt with so much stress from her family, “Shhhh, it’s OK. I’ve got you, love. I’m right here.” He comforted her softly with long rubs up her naked back.

“Oh my god, I don’t even know why I’m crying…” she whimpered against his throat and he smiled.

“Who cares, just feel it out, baby.” He continued reassuring her until a few minutes later she had collected herself enough, “Alright now?” He asked her and she nodded as she drew back with a slightly puffy face and a sniffle.

“Thank you.” She whispered and he leaned down and kissed her lips.

“Course, baby.” He smiled and after a moment of silence he spoke up again, “Was that OK? Did you like feeling that way?” He asked cautiously and she nodded, “That’s called subspace.” He explained gently and her eyes widened a bit, “When I asked you if you wanted me to take control of your pleasure this is what I meant. But I don’t have to try and get you there every time if you don’t like it.” He said, “I know it can be a lot and really take it out of some people.” He said. She had heard of all of this but it hadn’t ever happened to her before.

“What did you do to…get me there?” She asked him curiously.

“I didn’t do anything, I wasn’t even trying to do that at all actually.” He admitted, “I think it was a lot of things that could’ve led to that happening.” He said and she hummed, urging him to go on, “I know I’ve been holding back a bit from you and edging you like that, depriving you can get you feeling really desperate and on edge. And well on top of that you let me take the reigns, just left it all up to me, and well you’ve been under a lot of stress and were having big emotions…Maybe subconsciously you knew that you just needed to surrender and I think when the mix of all of these things was just right it caused you to slip into subspace.” He theorized and she hummed pensively.

“As the person in charge do you ever feel that way?” She asked.

“No, not really. There is this thing called topspace though, not everyone believes it’s a thing, but I think that happened to me. Like towards the end there when I…came all over you,”  He said a bit timidly, “Like I wasn’t even thinking of doing that I was just flowing with what felt right and I wanted everything to be so good for you and yeah, it just felt like what you needed and so I did it and it felt really good and not even because I was having an orgasm, but just because I could see what it was doing to you and…I don’t know,” he chuckled, “That’s never happened to me before.” He confessed and she leaned up and kissed him.

“Well, intentional or not that was incredible and I would be OK if we tried getting there again.” She said and he smiled down at her.

“OK, baby.” He said before squeezing her tight and groaning, “I’m really going to miss you while I’m gone.”

“Me too.” She frowned, “You can call though, whenever you want.” She said and he smiled. 

“You already said it! No take-backsies.” He chuckled and she giggled.

“Nope, no take-backsies.” She grinned. 

----Taglist----

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[hylianmewmew]

maybe i do: ch 8 red hair, teary eyes

read ch 7 here ♡ read ch 9 here

Link was growing increasingly anxious at the thought of bumping into Sidon right now. He wasn’t sure how to feel about what had happened yesterday. Or well, two days ago since apparently he slept for OVER A DAY?? That was concerning in itself. Link never slept more than 6 hours and it was always broken up into smaller chunks of time. He can thank a lot of things for his gods awful sleeping habits. While Link appreciated having Sidon to lean on (sometimes literally) during flashbacks and panic attacks it made him feel small and weak. He needed to get over his ego at this point. Literally speaking he was small which had its perks at times, but he was by no means weak. Years of being a knight and hero had made him abnormally strong for his size. The fact that he was strong didn’t help him from feeling ever so fragile during a flashback. He couldn’t even control his own emotions now.

But being with Sidon made everything feel just a little bit better. He made being small feel like not such a bad thing. It felt so nice to have someone who wouldn’t judge Link for not putting on a face and acting like everything was fine. Everything definitely wasn’t fine.

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

It was time for some fresh air. Link had been asleep for so long he felt like he’d lost weeks of time, not just a day. His muscles felt stiff and he was beginning to get antsy just sitting around. Time for a hike. 

Link loved rock climbing, it was the thrill of having to pull yourself up the face of a cliff with nothing but your physical strength and some climbing gear. Tal Tal peak was the perfect climbing site. It was naturally terraced in some areas which provided good resting spots. The view at the top of the peak was stunning, you could see all of the east reservoir lake on one side and the grotto from the other. 

He decided to not take Epona, going back to the stables hurt just a little too much, but he asked one of the stable hands if they could let her loose for a bit so she could roam. She refused to let anyone besides Link ride her. Taking his time to go anywhere was so against his instincts, he either ran, jogged or rode Epona pretty much everywhere during a trip. Around Lanayru he felt less pressure by himself to get everywhere as fast as possible. So he allowed himself time to explore as he made his way to the bottom of Tal Tal peak. He wanted to absorb every little detail about this place. The types of animals and insects that inhabited the area, the species of trees and of course, anything edible. 

As much as Link loved climbing and exploring, he loved cooking more. Cooking was a science, an art, and an experience rolled into one. He loved experimenting with new flavor combinations and seeing how they would mix and react with each other.

Link had still reached the bottom of the peak in just over an hour despite trying to take his time. Not like it was a far trek anyways. He pulled out the ropes and stakes from his pack and started to prepare to climb. A shrill scream pierced his ears, was that a kid? It was followed by the hiss and garble of a lizalfo. Link dropped everything, pulling two daggers from each side of him. And this is why Link never went anywhere without some kind of weapon, usually a couple just to be safe. 

Fortunately Link didn’t have to force himself to speak as the Hylian kid scampered behind him. He dropped into a fighting stance, eyes locked on the lone blue lizalfo. He waited for the monster to make a move before drawing it away from the kid. He motioned for them to run as he lunged at the lizalfo, landing a slash to its ribcage. It tried to move past Link in the kid's direction, but Link didn’t allow that. Taking the opening the lizalfo had created he plunged one of the daggers into its thick, scaly neck. He twisted the blade, driving it in deeper as it fell to the ground making a final gurgling noise before death came and claimed it.

Double checking the monster was actually dead, Link scanned the area for signs of other monsters. He ran after the kid to make sure they were alright. They hadn’t made it very far, having tripped over a rock and skinned their knee. The poor thing was sobbing, covered in dirt and blood from their knee injury.

“Are you ok?” Link wasn’t thinking when he automatically began to sign. Lots of times children didn’t know Hylian sign so he had to mouth the words slowly in hopes they could figure out what he was saying. Purah had made a tool on his Sheikah slate that could speak whatever he typed out but of course he had forgotten that in his guest rooms.

Link was visibly shocked when the child nodded and signed back, their hands trembling and clunky. “Thank you Master Link!” He smiled and patted the boy’s head. The kid’s lip quivered, about to cry again. “It’s ok now, the monster is all gone. You’re safe with me.” Link fell backwards, the boy leaping into his arms. Link smiled and hugged him, rocking the boy until he stopped crying. “What’s your name? Are your parents close by?”

The boy shook his head, “I’m Lobin. They travel without me. I live all by myself in our house.” He was trying to put on a brave face for Link but his hands were shaking harder now. Link stood up, letting go of him. The boy whimpered, clinging onto Link’s legs. “Please don’t leave me too.”

This broke Link, a little kid, probably only 6 or 7 years old who had been left on his own. Did his parents just expect the kid would be able to survive on his own? Fucking bastards. He had shoulder length bright red hair pulled back, tangled but mostly clean. He could at least keep himself clean but his clothes hung off his body. Link wasn’t sure if the clothes were just too big or the kid was malnourished, he assumed the latter.

Link decided it was best to take him back to the Domain and get him checked out by a nurse just to be safe. His climbing gear and pack were still back where he left them but Lobin was more important now. “I’m going to take you back to where I’m staying, ok? We can get you checked out by a nice doctor and give you something to eat.”

Lobin nodded slowly, his big blue eyes staring at Link as if waiting for him to do something bad. He decided Link was trustworthy and climbed on Link’s back when he motioned for Lobin to do so. This time, Link moved faster, at a brisk pace. He didn’t need any more bullshit to happen to this poor kid. 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

Lobin was excited but clearly still shaken from the run in with the lizalfo. Link set the kid down in the infirmary bay, he stayed close to Link as he looked everywhere. His eyes dazzled, staring at the large pillars of white marble that supported the inner domain building. Link looked at the kid who, if it had been a normal day, would probably be running around exploring every corner of the inner domain. Probably like Link had. He knew he had been here when he was younger, escorting Zelda as her knight but this is just what Sidon had told him. He remembered none of it. 

“Master Link! Oh, my! Did you get hurt?” One of the nurses approached, her eyes drifted down to Lobin who partially hid behind Link. “And who might you be?” She smiled gently, stepping closer, Lobin buried his head in Link’s tunic, pushing himself as close to Link as possible. 

“This is Lobin, found him getting attacked by a lizalfo near Tal Tal peak.” Link smiled, looking down at him. “He busted his knee running from the fight.” Link tried peeling Lobin off of him so the nurse could take a look at his knee. Lobin groaned, shaking his head furiously, head still mostly buried in the tunic. Link tapped his shoulder, gave him a quick smile, “This nice Zora is gonna patch your knee up and make sure you’re doing ok.”

“Nooo.” Lobin mumbled, this was the first time Link had heard Lobin speak, after him using Hylian sign Link automatically assumed he was primarily non-speaking. Lobin released Link from his tight grasp, “Please come with me.”

The nurse laughed quietly, “It’s alright Master Link, you can come with. I’d like to check out that gash on your bicep too.”

Link lifted Lobin up on the exam bench. He sniffled, the adrenaline must be wearing off now. The nurse dabbed his wound clean and bandaged it up as quickly as she could. Lobin put on a brave face but winced every time she touched him. Link couldn’t quite place it but he felt a connection to the kid, like they shared similar experiences. Like he understood living on his own as a child. 

“Not so bad was it hun? I even have a prize for being so good!” The nurse pulled a piece of candy out of a drawer and handed it over to Lobin. He looked up at Link, as if asking for permission. Link smiled and nodded, that small look. It showed more pain than a child should ever know. 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

Lobin had become Link’s shadow over the past 3 days. He couldn’t handle going anywhere without the hero, crying whenever anyone even thought of taking him away from Link. The inner Domain staff had taken to calling Lobin, little master, after the hero’s honorific given to Link. Often, Link would end up carrying Lobin on his back or on his shoulders. Lobin’s knee had to be given stitches, the wound ended up being more severe than the boy had let off.

With as much time as Link had been spending with Lobin he was starting to get attached. The kid was endearing, but didn’t seem to trust anyone other than Link. After a few hours on the first day of Lobin staying with Link, he became increasingly concerned for the boy. After a bath and a fresh change of clothes it was evident how thin and malnourished he looked. Link took this into his own hands and came up with some hearty meals to feed Lobin. If this boy was going to be attached to him at the hip, by the gods he’ll at least be well fed. Lobin took to Link’s cooking immediately, eating several portions at each meal. Link hoped this would help him at least a little bit.

An attempt with sleeping arrangements had been made. A smaller bed had been brought in for Lobin, but he refused to sleep without Link to curl up next to. Link learned that they both were bad at sleep. Lobin had horrid nightmares, same as Link. But sleeping with another warm body by your side was a small comfort to Link. It made a memory of him and Zelda pop up. He used to tell her stories late at night when she woke up from a nightmare or just couldn’t sleep. They would end up falling asleep together and waking up, both with equally messy hair. 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

“Ok! What for breakfast today Binnie?” Link had definitely gotten attached to this kid. He had somehow wound up creating a nickname for Lobin, ‘Binnie’. Lobin found this to be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Getting a personal nickname from the HERO of Hyrule? Link could never understand just how happy this had made Lobin.

Link thought too much. He thought too much and was overthinking this. Sidon hadn’t shown up since the whole ‘sobbing at a horse stable because Link can’t get himself together’. What if he’d scared Sidon away with his flashbacks? He had just started to open himself up to Sidon, and he fucked up yet again and Sidon was gone for good. Link wasn’t worthy of Sidon’s time anyways so it was fine.

He was fine.

Everything was not fine. Link snapped out of his thoughts to the smell of burning meat. Fucking hell. He had burnt the ham slices Lobin had requested for breakfast. Thinking about Sidon. Why was he thinking about Sidon?

“Here you go buddy, eggs and no ham.” Link sighed and set down the plate.

“Oh. You burnt the ham? I thought your cooking was magic, how do you burn something when you’re using magic?” Lobin pouted, poking his eggs before taking a tentative bite. His eyes widened and hummed happily. Clearly Link’s magic wasn’t entirely lost. Unlike he was.

There was something Link was missing. Something about Sidon he wasn’t getting. Something so enigmatic about his feelings towards Sidon there was no way Link was gonna figure this out.

Oh.

Wait.

Fuck. 

Fucking hell, Link had connected the dots. He couldn’t believe it. There was no way. 

Link was gay. Gay and in love. Only the love part was new. And who did his gay ass have to fall in love with? King Sidon. Of the Zora. That was married. To a woman.

This was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Fuck all the trauma, pain and suffering. Accidentally falling in love with a married man was the absolute end of the line. This was a completely unrequited love. It had to be. He couldn’t fall in love with a married man! Apparently, Sidon was more than just his supposed close friend. He was his supposed crush. 

Fuck.

Link nearly had a heart attack, Lobin tapped his arm impatiently trying to get his attention. “What are you thinking about? Your face is red and you look like you wanna cry. Did I make you upset? I’m sorry Master Link!”

Link frowned, well fuck he made the kid upset. “No, of course you didn't upset me, Binnie. I was just thinking is all.” 

The little boy, pouted not satisfied, “Your face’s all red and your eyebrows are all scrunchy like this!” Lobin furrowed his eyebrows, and puffed his cheeks up. 

Link blushed more, how did he explain this? He had a full on crush on the Zora king! He barely accepted that fact himself. Explaining complex feelings had never been his strong suit but even then, this was different and more complex. More so than he wanted to fully admit. 

“Come on dada! Tell me, tell me!” Lobin paused, realizing what he had just called Master Link. Uh oh.

Link stood there, blinking hard. ‘Dada’? So much was happening all at once. He didn’t hate the idea of being a parent. Kids were amazing and fun to interact with. But him? A dad? Just that was a lot to process. There wasn’t time to process this now. He must’ve looked mad or upset, Lobin had burst into tears.

“–Sorry!!” He signed the word over and over. Link took no time in hugging the small child, rocking him gently. This was all his fault. He stroked Lobin’s hair and kissed the top of his little head. 

He was apparently a dad now.

[parasolids]

i miss doing hourly comic day so heres a summary of my day so far

12-1 am: sleeping

1 am: i wake up needing to pee. i do that and go back to bed

4 am: i'm slipping in and out of sleep, dreaming. i vaguely remember a strange but interesting mall. in my dream they shut down the paint line for an emergency and i have to hurry through it in the dark like a maze, sprinklers dripping poisoned water into my hair. another dream and i'm at a party, and a girl from my high school is dead from alcohol poisoning and her parents carry her out wrapped in a white sheet, sobbing. i'm outside on the beach and they set her in the water. the waves pull away her shroud and all i see is her tattooed legs and i wonder if i really know this person, and then i see her face and realize i do. a popular girl from high school cradles her face in her hands. i rearrange the shroud around the dead girl when she begins to stir. she sits up wordlessly, the tide swirling around her, eyes unfocused. my alarm won't stop going off. i literally cannot get out of bed no matter how hard i try. i curl up under the sheets

5 am: i'm running very late and i don't want to use the work bathrooms so i skip my morning matcha. i drive to work and listen to an audiobook. it's kind of slow but not too bad

6 am: i sit at my desk for a while and then go upstairs to deal with a camera system

7 am: i continue dealing with the camera system, which isn't working for some reason, i chat with an engineer whose phone charger i've borrowed for the camera system, the guy i need to talk to isn't at his desk so i briefly hang out with one of my friends from IT til he shows up

8 am: we finally get the camera working and try setting it up. i look at the underbody of a car and see how many parts i can name from the bottom (from where i am i can see the frame, rear axle, axle wiring, leaf spring, heat shield, transmission, steering knuckle, driveshaft, brake caliper and rotor, fuel tank, catalytic converter, heat shield. there's some things i can't find or can't name, which is embarrassing, but it's all suspension parts and fortunately i'm not a suspension guy anymore)

9 am: we all go test a bunch of random trucks because our boss decided that's what he wanted us to do today. i catch a ride with some coworkers and think about eating lunch

10 am: still testing trucks. i'm mad because i want to listen to music but nothing's clicking and also i need to check for the car making odd sounds so i can't really properly listen to music. it's cold so i check the heating system first and test everything else while the car heats up. i warm my hands in the engine bay

11 am: i get back to the plant and then realize... i lost my wallet! and i can't get into the building without my wallet! and i've been getting in and out of a lot of trucks for the past two hours! and i don't remember which ones! and some of them might have been moved to another parking lot! i panic, drive back, and individually check each truck in the areas i was checking. luckily i find the wallet. i drive back to work.

12 pm: i eat lunch at my desk while handling emails because i used my lunch break on the wallet hunt. it's pizza and it's really good. i'm planning to chill for the rest of the day and then i realize i have to run a meeting at 1

1 pm: a coworker i like asks if i'm free in half an hour to help deal with an issue she's having. i tell her about the meeting. i speedrun the meeting. i've gotten a lot done over the past week so i bring a lot of updates to the table. after the meeting, i go to my coworker and we trade stories about work misadventures, and then i try to navigate the procedure she was having issues with but manage to spectacularly mess up and fail literally every single part, and then the machine stops working so we both just give up

2 pm: i ask an engineer a couple questions about how we handle a certain part, i leave work and hit the gas station. my mom gave me a gas station gift card she was gifted (her car is an EV and my dad rarely drives). it has less money than we thought so i can't fill my tank all the way. i get a horchata smoothie at the convenience store (i like getting a drink with my car when i fill her up, we bond over consuming liquids) but it tastes bad

3 pm: i drive home and listen to an album i won't name, which is really good but also vaguely anxiety inducing because i've taken a guitar lesson with the guitarist of the band and want to take more but trying to email him for scheduling is deeply anxiety inducing. i also listen to everything in transit by jacks mannequin which ive always loved but today it just sounds like noise.

4 pm: quick nap in bed and then i have the most wack telehealth appointment with my doctor in my life. she asks about my mood and i don't know how to tell her i'm having a really wild one so i don't. i don't want to talk to her about the whole issue i scheduled the appointment for but i do it anyways, which goes poorly.

5 pm: i clean my room, do something on my mom's car, completely mess it up, make a cup of coffee, do a covid test (which is broken), start taking the dishes out of the dishwasher, and realize i really need to pee so i sprint upstairs to shower

6 pm: shower. come downstairs and also kinda pissed off because i ran out of hot water despite showering pretty quick. i think i have covid because my dad has it and my throat hurts. i order a covid test from target. i eat dinner (frozen wontons and shrimp + a lot of fruit) and fantasize about smoothies

7 pm: i start writing this post and i comment on a reddit post. cringe. i work on stretching a piercing that fell out yesterday. this h urts.

8 pm: keep working on the post but i want to sleep now. i need to practice guitar. i was supposed to email that guy about guitar lessons... i work on music theory instead

[thedawningofthehour]

Oh. my. god, seriously, every time a chapter comes out my hands start shaking, I was shocked to wake up to see that the chapter had not been posted, only for it to be posted a couple of hours later, and for the record I woke up at 8 am and there is only like a couple of hours difference between US and where I live! Woman! Do you even sleep?

My mom gets furious if I go to bed at 12 pm and I'm a 22 year old grown woman!

Uhhhhhhhh~ it looks like the 'Galois discovers the truth' arc is already taking it's first steps, I want to see the faces of the Draxum squadron when they see the wanted posters, especially when they realize they used a picture of Donatello for 'Galois'!

The guy's reaction when Annie told him about his family, one of the things I'd like to see in the recovery arc is how the humans will adapt to the Yokai, I love Worldbuilding stories.

So while they won't sentence Donnie to death there's still a chance he'll be lynched? Yikes, I hope Bella and Leo's testimonies help with their public opinion, again, it's all Draxum's fault, the guy had the kid for a year and already has like four 🎯 in his head, Splinter was right to take the kids.

Oh, my mother bothers me too if she thinks I'm up too late. But she's usually asleep by then, and I try to get to bed before she gets up for her middle of the night smoke.

Just part of living with your parents as an adult, I guess. Today she drove me crazy going through every item in the kitchen and playing twenty questions with me about it to make room for Thanksgiving supplies. Is this yours? When did you buy it? Is it still good? What kind of cheese is it? When do you eat this? Are you sure I can throw it out? But are you actually going to eat it? (she does this when she goes through anything, it drives me nuts) I literally did a fridge purge less than a month ago too, all the old stuff was hers.

But our rent's been the same since 2013 and our landlords are actually cool people, so fuck if I'm moving out and paying more for a shittier place to live.

It's pretty unrealistic, the Hidden City as a whole places a lot of value on children (so many of them have trouble having bio-kids) and their life stages all scale upwards, so 15-16 is so very very young for them. So the idea that they'd condemn someone so young goes against much of the overarching culture there.

However, Hueso's seen bullshit before. He knows emotions run much higher than reason in times of strife, and he worries about the dehumanization of mutants and the effects that will have. If Yokai see mutants as scary 'Others' who just exist to destroy their way of life, then they'd have no qualms about killing people like Leo or even the kiddos like Fatimah and Jenny-because they're not really people to them. And they would be furious at one of those 'Others' who played a direct part in their hardship.

To be fair, some of it probably would have happened anyway. People like Big Mama (if she was an actual crime boss and not a cartoon version of what a kid thinks a crime boss is) and other rich weirdos would have taken one look at him and been like "sweet! You work for me now. Say no and I'll cripple your legs so you can't run away. :)" Draxum's reputation and being legally his son does protect him somewhat.

[astoldbychae]

Questions for OC Couples: Aura & Moe

1. Where and how did they meet? At his office (Sollitto Enterprises; he's an Investor), after she started working for him/became his assistant (his previous assistant resigned and Aura took her place). Her father has connections and this is the reason she moved to San Myshuno immediately after graduation.

2. Was it love at first sight? Nope, strictly business (but he was checking her out). She was a bit younger than He was used to, so he kept it cordial until she began to subtly show interest, during one of their late night meetings SEVERAL months later. She began to pry a bit and ask questions about his love life and upbringing. Moe has done business with her Father before, so he knew about her family and they kind of bonded over that.

3. If it was not love at first sight, how and when did they know it was love? For him, it was around the time his mother passed away. The way she showed up for him was admirable. He doesn't have the best relationship with his father but she came in and helped him attempt to patch things up with his pops. For her, it was when he booked their baecation to Sulani (because you don't just plan a trip like THAT for just ANYONE...)

4. What feature(s) do they find most attractive about their partner? She loves his hands (how well manicured they always are), his dominance, and how loving he is (when He cares about you). He loves literally everything about her honestly. She loves to "dress up for no reason" AND IT DRIVES HIM CRAZY to see her all dolled up (hence the little nickname, Doll). He loves to hear her talk because of how "proper" she speaks with her little southern twang! When she tries to get mad, it turns him on! Cause He feels that she wouldn't squish a bug!

5. What traits / personality aspects do they like most about their partner? She loves his love for reading (thirst for knowledge), assertiveness, and (most days) his calm/nonchalant nature. He loves how nurturing, generous, and "soft/dainty" she is (but she can be a beast in her own soft way, don't let the "Southern Belle" fool you! Lol). She's spoiled and he LOVES spoiling her (but she also likes to get her own, she's not interested in the housewife lifestyle but she definitely has a good balance between work and play; ma'am is gonna take her self-care days ok!)

6. Do they have any habits their partner finds annoying? She would like to change his cigar smoking "habit," She doesn't like the smell. He would like to change her spending habits (he would prefer for her to invest more of her money but she's young and likes to shop!).

7. Is there anything about their partner they would like to change? He would like to change her spending habits, She would like to change his cigar smoking & "let's visit the strip club to unwind" habit.

8. Where did they have their first date? In Tartosa because the wine just taste better out there 🙄 (GIRL, Aura is spoiled AF)

9. When and where did they have their first kiss? In his office, after hours...😏

10. How long have they been together? About 3 years or so

11. Will they stay together for a long time? Giiiiirrrrrllllll, I hope so! (that's the plan but ya'll know my damn game is unhinged!)

12. Do they have many problems in the relationship or just a few? Or none? Just a few; her spending habits and his (small) gambling/"let's visit the strip club to unwind" /cigar smoking "habit".

13. Is there a big age difference between the partners, a small difference or are they the same age? Yes, 10 years-or so-ish. She's 25, He's mid-thirties (like 35ish) . They met when she was around 21-22, He was earlier thirties...

14. Do other people approve or disapprove of the relationship? In the beginning, yes.

15. If someone disapproves of the relationship, who is it, and why do they disapprove? Her older brother. Mainly because of the ties that Moe had with their father. Ultimately, Aura's dad is the reason why Moe "turned his life around for the better". He kept him on the straight and narrow. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but think Ghost (from Power, if he actually managed to make it out and start a new life).

16. Does the couple care if people disapprove of them being together? Nope! Not at all.

17. Are they married? Nuh-uh

18. If they’re not married, do they want to be? They're currently engaged (Woo! Wedding Planning! Yay me! 🙄)

19. Would they elope, have a small intimate wedding, big fancy wedding, or something else? Big Fancy Extravagant Ass Wedding, courtesy of Aura. Moe would be alright with going to the courthouse and heading straight to the honeymoon. BUT whatever Aura wants, Aura gets!

20. Where would they go on their honeymoon or dream vacation? Somewhere, ANYWHERE Tropical. He likes to be shirtless/half naked soaking up the sun, and she loves to bask in his shirtless/half-naked-ness. 🙄 Girl, He may end up taking her to a nude beach...knowing his ass.

21. Do they have any children? Do they want any? They don't have any together, yet. She would like to have 1. He (currently) doesn't want any. Spoiler alert: He has one that He isn't aware of and would've had a set of twins with miss ma'am (but she unfortunately miscarried).

22. What is their favourite thing to do together? Travel, Try new restaurants; anything spontaneous or adventurous really.

23. Where is their favourite place to go together? Anywhere out the country. Tartosa is home to some of their most special memories tho, so that's always a vibe!

24. Do they have a song? Hrs and Hrs Remix - Muni Long ft. Usher (Moe is a BIG Usher fan chile, Confessions was his fave album)

Pleeease don't let him try to sing!

25. Do they have any pet names / nicknames for each other? She calls him Babe or "Luci"/Luciano (his middle name). He calls her Sweetheart, Doll, or Little Mama (or Lil' Ma when he's been drinking and his words are slurred).

26. Are they jealous? Yes, both of them are. Lawd, help us!

27. Is this a first relationship for either of them? Relationship? No, she dated Troy (Yes, Melo's best friend/super sperm) briefly before Moe. He dated Kelsey (throughout high school and briefly messed around in their early 20's, he loved the hell outta her too!). But this is definitely Aura's first REAL/SERIOUS relationship. This is Moe's second.

28. How do they show affection for each other? Sex, quality time, and acts of service (that's their mutual love language).

29. How do they cheer their partner up when they’re sad? He cooks for her. She rubs his head/brushes his waves or massages his shoulders. Both of them tend to isolate when they are feeling intense emotions (for two separate reasons), so when they're in each other's presence, they tend to be there without words, just actions. He'll just get up and cook her favorite food or she will just silently (and softly) rub his head.

30. Is either of the partners a ‘hopeless romantic’? Aura, of course. She grew up witnessing the way her father loved her mother, and then her step-mother (once her mother died) AND spent countless hours watching Disney movies and black sitcoms & movies that emphasized success, love, and family. She has high hopes (and standards) when it comes to life, love, and romance; She definitely feels that she deserves to have the best (IKDR!).

I had to do this for my babies that I've kinda, sorta neglected...

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

OMG IM SO EXCITED TO THIS INSTALMENT ARGHHHH I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DO

Word count : 4k

Warnings : mention of food and dieting , Weed

IM SO EXCITED

Mattys POV

(A week or so has gone by since last instalment)

Oh my god things have been wild lately, George is finally visiting today he's going to be here for at least ten days I believe and I can't bloody wait for it. I couldn't sleep last night we were up all night on FaceTime, he fell asleep eventually because he "didn't wanna look like complete shit when we first met", which is stupid because he can't look bad in anyway , to me. His train was due at 4 this afternoon but since I hadn't slept I had started getting ready at 7am , showered, dressed in skinny jeans and a floral shirt that I'm sure I stole from my mum once upon a time and my Docs because what else would I wear, I had spent at least half an hour just trying to make sure my hair didn't look like a damn bird nest or that I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards, brushed my teeth and even had some breakfast. It was now 8:30 and I'm pacing, like actually pacing because I hate waiting. He'd texted me this morning but he doesn't want to show me his outfit because he wants it to be a surprise so in turn I said I wouldn't show him mine which is hell because I love this shirt so much and love showing it off. On what feels like my fifth lap of the house my dad had tried to convince me to sit down for a bit but even if I did it would be roughly five minutes before I was up and moving again. So in turn he'd asked if I wanted to go for a drive which I accepted gratefully. I think he was taking me to Tesco to pick up some stuff for dinner later.

We were just walking around the shop my dad pushing the trolley and me just shoving literally anything in it. "So this lad then, George is it?" , I nod with a smile on my face. "What are we to call him, like is he your boyfriend or just a friend who you like, or just a normal friend". My dads just amazing always trying to understand things

"For now he's just a friend that I like but Um we're somewhat both interested in one another but haven't asked the question yet, so please don't call him my boyfriend yet because I haven't asked and don't want to scare him away yet", I throw at least five packets of noodles into the trolley. "He likes noodles , is that enough or should I get more?"

"Son , your gunna work yourself into a headache just breath okay, I'm sure everything is going to be just fine" , I take a few deep breaths and we continue on through the shop. Stopping to drop a few more things in.

"Uh Dad, Would it be okay if we got some alcohol?, I promise I won't over do it" , I know he probably can't trust a word I say because I can't prove that I won't but I really want him to trust me.

"I'll be honest lad , I think we'll have to ask your mum first and we can come back later if she says it's okay" , we just ponder around a few more isles and drop random things into the trolley "you haven't smoked today have you!"

"Not yet no , why?"

"Would you like to drive the car home ?" , we loading stuff onto the check outs , I do have my lisence I got it last year and I do have a car but my mum and dad took my keys after the crash with Janey because they didn't trust me in the car unless I was with one

of them.

"Are you sure dad!"

"If you'd like son , just be careful yeh?"

"Oki thank you dad , honestly thank you", I threw my arms around him and he held me just for a second and we made our way to the checkouts putting all the items through and packing them up, I'm a little meticulous about the packing and how to do it so dad just lets me do it my way "Also da , we need to go to the pharmacy my medication is ready to pick up"

"Which ones is it where picking up today lad ?" , we'd picked up like 2 other ones this week but I think they were for anxiety and anti-sickness but these ones are just supplements for food.

"Just food equivalent to help me get my appetite back like the ones I had years ago" , my dad payed for the food swiping his card across the card reader and waved goodbye too the cashier as we leave and as he's packing up the car I jump in the front seat and get myself accustom with the steering and gears again.

"You all ready then Son", he jumps into the passenger side and buckled up eager to see how well I do

"As I'll ever be ,I guess"

The drive to the pharmacy wasn't to bad to be fair, I'm still a pretty good driver and my dad said I did well so I'm happy about that. I didn't want to go in again for like the 3rd day running so Dad went in for me giving me a second to just breath and reply to George. Last message I got he was still getting ready he doesn't have to leave for the station till around about 1 and it's only 9:30, I think we both just got a little to eager.

MATTY: my dad let me drive !!!!

GEORGE: yeh ?, how did you do?

MATTY: haven't driven in a while so thought I'd mess up a little but it actually went okay, we've been to Tesco to get food for the next few days , we're at the pharmacy now and then where going home and I think I'm going to tidy my room cuz it's an actual pigsty might ask mum to help

GEORGE : don't have to tidy for me love, my rooms a shit tip

MATTY: I will anyway

As my dad came back I slid my phone back into my pocket he handed me my medicine to make sure it was the right thing because he really had no idea what is was called , neither did I to be honest but it looked right so I just flung it on the dashboard and we made our way back home

We unpacked the bags in the kitchen as Loius ran around looking literally as excited as I felt as he'd grown to really like George too they interacted a lot over the past week , and when I told him George was coming to visit he got so darn happy he climbed up onto the middle island in the kitchen and watched us unpack

"How long till Georgie is here Maffu ?"

"He's coming today little dude but it's still a long time yet" , after unpacking the last bag I pick loius up and manoeuvre him so he's on my back, and I carry him back up stairs and flip him onto my bed " you gunna help Maffu clean up ?"

"I don't wanna tidy Maffu but I'll watch", he's always just soooo me and it makes me laugh and ruffle his hair again as he looks up at my with the big smile and those big blue eyes.

"That's okay, can you get Mummy for me then"

"Oki", he jumps back off the bed and runs through the house , leaving me stood in the middle of the room looking around trying to figure out where to start, it really is such a mess in here, mugs and plates everywhere, piles of clothes, shoes just milking around , stacks and stack of books , dvds and cds and my bed isn't even made. I get lost in my thoughts when I here a knock on my door that makes me jump.

"Sorry love didn't mean to startle you, what was it you needed me for?"

"Can you possibly help me tidy up in here , I don't know where to start and it's so bad" , she looks around just as baffled as me, then strides over and pulls me into a hug.

"Love ,what happened in here?"

"I just haven't had the effort or will power to clean up Mum, sorry" , I hug her close and then as we separate herself we both look around and make a mental note on where to start

"Right first of all love , take all the dishes downstairs and ask you dad if he can clean them up , then come back up and we can sort your clothes out okay", I nod and then get to picking up the cups and plates grimacing when I realise how bad it actually is. I run downstairs with the dirty plates and mugs dropping them carefully into the sink, then run back up the stairs two at a time to help mum. "What clothes are clean and what aren't love ?"

"Most of its clean it just needs to be folded and put away really", it takes me a few more seconds to actually sit down and start folding a pile that was next to where I stood, Im so bad at keeping up with cleaning it bores me. I noticed mum stand up and start putting clothes into drawers and stops to look at something already in the drawer

"Matty , love what are these?”

I drop the shirt I was folding onto the floor as I know exactly what she was talking about as I know what I’d been hiding in that drawer, I scratch the back of my neck as I breath in ALL the air that was in the room and try to piece a reply together. My mouth opens and closes a few times but no words leave my mouth.

“Matty love?”

“It’s nothing important Mum, just put it back please” , I take three big stride across to her and place my hands around the books “Mum seriously it’s nothing”

She did let me take them and shove them back the drawer as she takes a tentative seat on my bed and pats the space next to her. “Sit down for a minute please my love” , once I’ve got the books properly back into the drawer and place myself down next to her. “Can you please tell me why you feel the need to have books about dieting love”.

“It’s not important Mumma , it doesn’t mean anything, I just have them”

“First off Matty , I’ve been keeping an eye on everything to do with your eating habits for a while and I know there not very good , your skin and bone love , and you only ever call me Mumma when your anxious , so please you know I’m not going to be mad , can you please explain to me why?”

I know she won’t be mad and I know it’s not something that’s that big of a deal but its still scary to talk about , so as I think of the right words to say I just ponder in my mind what I need and look around my room as I try to explain. “It’s just about the element of control , I was losing control of everything in my life and I was freaking out so bad you know , like I had zero semblance of control, but then I found a book at school about diets like I know people diet duh , but um when I read it, a lot of it was about how people diet to gain control over something, so I tried and I read a lot of them but then I even lost control of that and I’m scared again so I hid them so I wasn’t as embarrassed about losing control of even that and people wouldn’t ask if they saw and I wouldn’t ave to talk about it”

“Matty , I know things are hard right now love , and I’m proud that your talking to me , but why couldn’t you tell me earlier”

“I don’t know Mum really, I guess I just didn’t know how to” , I got back up from my bed and went back over to the drawer taking the books back out and contemplated them for a while. “Can you take them Mum”

“What would you like me to do with them?”

“Just don’t let me have them I guess , I’m going to try to get better , Dr Adrian gave me the medication for it and I’m gunna work harder at everything I promise”. I get back to the cleaning of my room “Mum?”

“Yes love”

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been lately and I’m sorry for worrying everyone, I also appreciate you for letting George come because he really helps me be a better version of myself and I really hope you can see that when he’s here , I know I haven’t known him that long but he really does help me”

“I’m so glad that you’ve found someone that you can talk to Matty , you don’t have to apologise everyone goes through hard times , you’ve just got to pick yourself up and if you need help keep talking , be it to me or George or your dad even Louis , I know he’s just a kid but even if you talk you’ll feel better”

“Thank you”

It takes us a few more hours to tidy up my room it really was a state , and I talked to my Mum the whole time about how I felt about everything and anything. When we had finished the tidying and cleaning up it looked like a completely different room I hadn’t seen it like this in at least a month.

It’s now 12:30 and although I’m more than excited to see George the restlessness was starting to get to me again, George had informed me he was on his way to the train station now his train was at 2 and it took him an hour to get to the station. It was getting harder to not be nervous because I was really just watching the time tick by. I’d rolled a joint after I’d finished cleaning my room but hadn’t got round to smoke it yet because dads trying to keep me busy until we have to go because he knows if I’m just sitting waiting then I’m going to get irritable. With this being the first time I’d had a break today I decided to just let them know I’m going for a smoke. So now I’m just sat outside on the front porch relaxing as I smoke the joint.

Matty: I’m so nervous darling x

George: I’m actually shutting a brick 😂 , would your dad mind if I went for smoke when I got off the train or would he wanna get going straight away ?x

Matty: He won’t mind , I’m sure he’d understand

George : I’ll be grand then , will you be waiting for me on the platform or will I meet you outside.

Matty : I’ll wait on the platform you dick😂

George : thanks love x

I slide my phone back into my pocket and finish my joint before making my way inside, I know it’s lunchtime and I should eat but I’m not the hungry yet but Louis came running through to the kitchen and attached himself to my leg “How long now Maffu” , I picked him up and put him on the counter while messing up his hair, he’s got a lollipop hanging out his mouth so I didn’t really catch what he said, I took the sweat out of his mouth for a second.

“What was that kid ?”

He smiled a lopsided grin at me and rolled his eyes dramatically , so much like me. “How long till Georgie is here silly?”, I gave him back his sweet and he shoved it back into his mouth even though I was just holding it my hand was sticky so I turned the tap on and started washing my hands

“He’s getting on the train really soon , then daddy and I will go get him , do you want to come too?”, he again smiled at me his eyes growing to the size of bowling balls and he take his sweet out of his mouth again.

“Can I ?”

“If you want too kiddo , just finish up with your sweet and wash your hands and then we can talk cuz that’s going to take you ages to eat”

“I don’t want it anymore, you have it” , he went to hand it to me but I told him that’s it’s okay and just to put it in the bin , he runs back over to me, I lift him up and help him wash his hands. “Will George play with me when he comes ??”

“I’m sure he will Kiddo”

I spent the next few hours just playing about with Louis , on the play station, watching tv with him , helped him with some homework that he had left around about 2:30 he fell asleep on my lap while we were watching the TV , George had texted me saying that he was now on the train half an hour ago, and we should be leaving in an hour because it doesn’t all to long from ours to get to the station here, so I took Louis idea into consideration and tried to take a nap myself which in theory maybe wasn’t the best idea but I was starting to get tired so that I did , I set an alarm on my phone for 45 minutes so I could get my head down for a little while. I layed myself down trying not to disturb Louis and sleep consumed me

My alarm woke us both up at 3:15 , Louis was not too happy with it, he was still tired and he was throwing a little hissy fit “hey kiddo , I know your tired and I know you wanted to come to pick Georgie up but you need to calm down for me so we can get ready to go can you find your shoes for me ay ?” , he just clung to me his tiny frame shaking as he cried “hey hey hey it’s okay , you can have another nap you know , come on kiddo no need for tears”

“But I’m still sleepy , I wanna go bed” , as I got myself he was still clinging to me so I decided to take him upstairs to bed his head was resting on my shoulder the whole time. “Maffu , is it okay if I just stay here”

“It’s okay kiddo , just get a big nap for me and when you wake up George will be here and you can play all day yeh” , he nodded against me as I lay him down on his bed and tucked him up and kissed his head

“I’ll see you later okay”

“Okay Maffu”

I got myself completely got my leather jacket from my room , checked to see if my dad was ready, he let me know that he was just going to finish his tea and then we’d get going. So I just waited by the door, annoying I know but I just wanted to get going. Once he was ready I raced out to the car like I was 7 again jumping into the passenger side as my dad made his way to driver seat and we got going. I couldn’t help my leg bouncing up and down anxiously the whole way there, I’d bitten my nails raw Mum would have killed me for it but dad doesn’t mind. I’d chain smoked the whole ride there out the window of course and really it wasn’t that bad the train station was just half an hour away so it was really not to bad. We got to the station with 15 minutes to spare so I checked my hair in the middle mirror of the car and started fussing with my outfit until my dad told me again that I looked absolutely fine and to stop worrying , I sat and waited for literally only two minutes before I decided I just wanted to go in and wait so I just told my Dad that I’d let him know when I’ve got George and we’re going to have a smoke before we come back, he gave me a quick nod and smile before I got out and made my way inside

Inside the station was so busy, people milling about the place, so much sounds and smells, it was so hot in there as well but I tried to gather myself and push through I saw that the train from London was going to be arriving on platform 3, I started making my way there but there was quite a lot of people waiting there aswell and I could feel myself getting anxious and my nerves were getting the best of me so I hung back and just sent George a quick message letting him know that I am inside but I’m not on the platform because it looked busy, he replied not to long free to let me know that it was okay and he’d call me once he departed the train and I could let him know where I was which helped me alot. I decided to wait outside WHSmith a small convenience store that was off to the side of the platforms , True to his word after a small five minutes more of waiting my phone started to buzz in my hand and George’s contact appeared on my screen

“Hey there”

“Hiya love , that’s me just coming off , where is it your at ?, you doing okay it’s not to busy for you is it ?”

“I’m stood outside smiths , I’m okay for now it’s not to busy round here I’ll be okay, I just really can’t wait to see you now”

“I’ll can see it , from where Im at so I should be there in no time at all handsome”

I couldn’t help but smile , my heart was racing , basically jumping out of my chest in anticipation, I could hardly wait, there wasn’t much conversation going on between us we were both just keeping an eyes out for each other, He soon caught my eye “I can see you , you lanky fuck”, despite feeling nervous and anxious about everyone around us the fact that I could see him sent a jolt of pure joy through me and I felt my legs starting to race to him. As I began running to me I could see the moment he clocked me and he just dropped his suitcase open his arms to me and I ran into his arms and burried my face in his chest pushing my phone into my pocket without even hanging up. We stayed there in each other arms for what felt like an age not saying anything just holding each other and it felt so right

“Hiya handsome” , I pulled away first but not all the way just enough so I could look up and his and the smile on his face was everything I needed to feel relaxed. I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks already. “Jesus , you really ARE a lanky twat aren’t ya” his smile grew bigger if that was even possible and we giggled to each other and he pulled me closer to him

Once we’d sorted ourselves out taking at least another five minutes just holding one another we were just stood line idiots smiling at each other and he eventually picked his suitcase back up and I’d sorted my phone in my pocket I took his hand and lead him outside to the smoking area.

“Babe , you looks so cool, by the way” , I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the word babe leave his mouth and it had my blushing even more than I thought humanly possible and I took his hand that was in mine and kissed it as we both giggled again.

“You look so fit”