#but she is definitely a bit of a himbo who tried to cut her hair with a double bladed scimitar

[ronnieromm]

girlie pop got a haircut

[ineedjesusverymuch]

Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 4

Hi! After that huge response my other post got, I decided to write more/be more active on here. I really enjoy writing my thoughts on just about anything regarding dl out and it makes me happy that so many people liked my post!

Although that big of a response was quite a shock. Seemed that I did not, in fact, yell into the void that time :).

Though I am not sure if that post did anything different, I'll continue posting on here no matter how big the response is. If I can make even one person happy with those posts, (including me) I'll keep on writing those silly headcanons of vampires that do not exist. :)

I am going to focus more on the mukamis and Yui in this post since the last one was almost only the Sakamakis.

⚠anything triggering will be marked like this: ❗trigger❗

⚠I am going to briefly discuss childhood trauma and depression.

As always, I'll try to stay at least a little bit true to the source material.

Asks are always appreciated!

This time, I rambled quite a bit about Azusa ':)

headcanons under the cut⬇

Firstly, Yui. Our dear heroine who deserves just about everything!

Really good at dancing those old, classical ballroom dances. She had a few lessons by Ayato (who spent the entire time giving his best not stomping on Yui's feet) and Reiji (whose lesson was the most horrifying experience she had ever had)

After those lessons, she refined her skills. Ayato is quite a good dancer, so she had someone to practice with.

Her best dances are waltz and rumba

Ayato is literally not physically able to stop watching her when dancing together. Never has he seen someone that beautiful (I stand by Ayato being totally besottet by Yui)

Her style is so coquetteish, old fairy tale princess, etherial soul, cottage core - genuinely dresses like a pinterest board

Really fcking pretty??? I don't get why the boys humble her all the time

Immune to pretty boys/play boys. She has seen it all.

really adores bunnies. Lionheads? She'd like a dozen of them.

Had at one point a guinea pig. It died and her father buried it and told her that a fairy had taken it to be her loyal companion. Yui believed it until she was like 16 years.

Her hair has those light curls and feels like the softest thing ever

The clasp in her hair is not the only flowery hair adornment she has, Yui loves to wear different clasps on special occasions

Definitely got gifted a hair pin with rose details from Subaru at one point

Best friends with Subaru. They like to spend quality time caring for his flowers and Yui is allowed to brush his hair on tare occasions.

Shu tried to teach her the violin once and she was horrible at it (but flute was her thing)

Has those shirts with horribly kitsch prints on them but no one says anything to her because she loves them so much

She has thought a lot about her faith since being with the Sakamakis. Read a lot about her god and the different religions.

Has though about studying theology and psychology in University

collects squishmallows

wears those light perfumes that smell like vanilla and flowers occasionally

Everyone turns their head when they first see Yui

Etherial beauty

Smells like vanilla. It's because she uses those body lotions and a lightly scented hair mist

Ayato goes mad at the smell

Ayato genuinely loves Yui. Just her, living her life. He adores her.

Also; Ayato is a himbo.

Dumb and dumber duo

Subaru teaches her material art as defense for anything coming at her

Natural at fighting

Decked Ayato in the face once as he materialized out of thin air behind her

Knocked him unconscious

Laito laughed for literal hours at the though of Ayato getting knocked out by Yui

Her dream is living in peace with eveyone she loves

Had an actual talk with Ayato at some point. They are a healthy couple now (No, I do not care about the canon. They're in love your highness)

Goes to therapy. She decided to after nightmares regarding her early days with the boys

Also, scared that Cordelia will come back at one point and take her body over completely

Yui is the nicest person ever

Will talk with you about everything you'd like

Gentle soul.

Gives great hugs?? Knows how to comfort someone who's feeling bad

She's not only good at baking but also at making those highly decorated cakes and cupcakes. Kanato begs her for themed cupcakes as soon as autumn starts and Halloween decorations appear

next, Ruki.

Eats way too much dark chocolate

We're talking about two entire bars minimum a day

Coffee junkie

Has a disproportionately large consume of anything caffeinated

Wears the same crusty, dry eyeliner since 1990

Refuses to buy a new one since "the old one still works" (it does not)

flirts with Reiji. Its so obvious that even Yuma has realized it

(Reiji is oblivious to it)

Academically speaking, really good at the natural sciences.

Fcking sucks at english though

Studies quite a lot, Ruki despises being on the same level as Reiji

Bad loser

Will be sulky after losing a game of Uno

Definitely cheats at card games

Really good at annoying Reiji. It's such a high level of annoying, he could give courses on the matter

Really good older brother

Checks on the other Mukami brothers when Ruki sees them struggeling with their pasts

Will check in every night if Azusa or Kou are plagued by nightmares

Has nightmares about the orphanage

❗sometimes wakes up scared that his brothers are actually dead and can only calm down after checking that each one is still alive

❗Definitely scared of anything happening to his brothers, he has panic attacks just thinking about that night

reads self help books

Has at least one "how to raise unruly children" book on his shelves

Culinary mastermind

But also makes the weirdest combinations of foods? Why would anyone like to taste jam with cucumbers and pepper????

now, Kou

Likes those really creepy stuffed toys

really good at drawing winged eyeliner

Has worn pink mascara and it looked so fcking good???

Hugest crush on Subaru

Flirts with him but the dear boy does not recognize romantic affection even when it slaps him in the face

Almost fainted riding the first time on Subaru's motorcycle

The scariest thing since really long

Wears really dangly, long earrings

With the weirdest motifs

Has one pair that has clams that can open. The pearls inside them glow in the dark.

his stomach is a bottomless pit. The first time he came over to spend a night at the Sakamaki's, Reiji was genuinely afraid that they had nit enough food to last to breakfast

Laito and he binged the Kardashians

Loves gossip. Knows everything about everyone

Makes rad nail art

Loves styling Azusa. Its their quality time, combined with trying those really spicy crisps

huge energy drink consumer

Helps him trough those sleepless nights were Kou stays up and chats with Laito the whole night through the phone

quite good at learning historical facts

Due to Kou's eye, he can see truths and lies in humans. But he is also really good at deciphering the human psyche.

Doesn't always use his eye. Sometimes, just Kou's knowledge of psychology is enough to recognize lies

There are some headcanons that Kou is italian. I agree with that. I can really image him enjoying the culture and the food. Also, I read a headcanon once that Kou's real name was Emilio. (If someone knows the name of the OP, please tell me)

Now, our vegetable freak: Yuma!

loves scrunchies and hair claw clips

Got one from Kanato once and uses them since

Also, I propose: Yuma with those hair claw clips in butterfly shape. Gifted by Kou as a joke

but now, he always wears them

Kanato braids his hair in really elaborate hair styles. Bridal style vibes. Kou thinks its the funniest thing ever

Shu loves toying with his hair when bored. It's just so soft and smells really good (Yuma uses Kou's shampoo on the regular. It causes quite a lot of fights)

took 1 (one) "Am I Gay" quiz. It came out a hundred percent positive. The next day, he confessed to Shu. They've been together ever since

Feeds the birds on the porch of their house every morning, together with Azusa

Actually really educated about current politics (at least the ones in Romania. But knows quite a lot about the USA and Japan, too)

Will start fights with Ruki about politics during dinner

If you ever want to hear angry romanian yelling, just go to the Mukami house during elections

Cares for every houseplant in their house

Brings at least two new plants per week at home. Ruki is on the brink of forbidding Yuma from accessing his monthly allowance

wears really shitty clothes. I'm talking thousand times stitched together trousers. They look like potatoes sacks but he refuses to get new ones

Has a toolbelt that looks atrocious

He wears it almost every day

The dirtiest shoes known to mankind

So dirty with soil and just about anything you can find in nature

Ruki gets daily aggressions about the spots on their carpet, since Yuma thinks changing shoes just for going inside is stupid

Wears the most amazing eyeliner but it is actually just old as fuck eyeshadow and mascara

He makes it look good

Has the longest lashes known to humankind

Brown skin due to being outside so much

Disneyprincess in secret

loves those huge dogs

now, Azusa!!

jesus that boy can be seductive

No, I wont elaborate

That was a lie, I will elaborate on anything with Azusa. He has the art of subtle flirting refined to mastery

Tried to flirt with Kanato. But Kanato thought he was being made fun of

Great at subtle makeup

Also; great dancer. Especially latin dances such as cha-cha-cha or salsa

He has those hips (breedable, as some folks would say)

Canonically doesn't like peppers

That doesn't apply to stuffed peppers with spices though

Great at remembering faces, not so great at remembering names

Can draw and paint and do art so good????

God of art

Not god of natural sciences though

Is doing alright at school but doesn't like the education system

Speaks not only romani and japanese but also a bit of English (and has the thickest british accent. No one knows where it is from and Azusa refuses to tell them that it is from watching Harry potter so often)

Colours his hair in a blue-black colour to give it more depth sometimes

Wears very pretty, light blue-ish glitter on the inner eye corner sometimes

So beautiful eyes??

Long, dark lashes

Likes to wear a bit of mascara

Naturally a defined jawline and straight nose

But a bit chubby cheeks

Is very pale but tans quite a but when longer outside in the summer. But dues to his sensitivity to heat, he'd rather stay inside

His eyes have a bit of an almond form, which gives them a sharp look, but still quite big

Azusa likes to wear too big clothes, especially hoodies and sweaters from Ruki and Yuma.

Also, cargo pants. The wide ones

Combat boots are a staple in his closet

Loves plateau boots and sneakers

Converse all stars are his to go shoes if no plateau boot is available

The shoes size him up quite a bit so the first time he met the Sakamakis, they all thought he was quite big. They all were surprised as they arrived at the Mukami home and Azusa just shrinked a few inches

Paints his fingernails in hope that he doesn't chew on them that much if they're pretty and colorful

Cuts his hair himself because he feels that his slow manner of speech annoys the staff in hair salons

But he likes the choppy style so its not as big of a problem for him

❗has a problem coping with what happened in his childhood. He canonically sh, but has frequent anxienty attacks too.

Due to that, he has a few weightened blankets and lots of pillows on his bed to simulate the feeling of getting hugged

Big hugger

His love language is physical touch

bug lover

Has a really cool sweater with the life cycle of a frog

That was it, actually. I rambled quite a bit about Azusa but I still hope you'll like it.

I hope I was able to make your day a bit better.

If you have any requests, just ask!

Thank you for reading all of that. I really appreciate you! I hope you'll have an amazing day/night!

[sensei-venus]

Hi there! Could I request the og cobras with Larusso reader? Where they have all taken interest in her, she’s Daniel’s twin and even though all of them hate her brother they love her? Thank again! <33

“Two Timing LaRusso- But Literally Two” (1/2)

(Unedited) (Cobras being stupid, Cobras being dumb himbo’s, Mentions of cheating? not really.) (Og Cobra Gang/Daniel’s Twin!Reader)

Ever since they got to California the LaRusso twins hated it. Between the heat and sun, the new school, trying to make friends. It was a mess. But what really did it in was all of the karate stuff that ended up happening with the oldest twin.

Daniel decided to get involved with the girl on the beach, her name was Ali.

It all started with that stupid night on the beach. When the Franky kid from the apartment complex told the two of them about the party on the beach. Reader didn't really want to go but Daniel did, so she went along for the ride.

She didn't actually want to go but she didn't want to leave Daniel on his own for the night in a brand-new place. Plus she had to admit she was a bit lonely and didn't want to stay in the new apartment all by herself. When they showed up on the crowded beach it was nice. There where dozens of kids around their age just having fun and dancing, chatting and playing games.

While she hung back on the sidelines and just enjoyed the people-watching, Daniel managed to wheeze his way with the blond-haired girl. They were both laughing and talking while messing with a soccer ball. She just rolled her eyes at the two and kept watching.

When the motorcycles pulled up on the hill her stomach stomach started to flip in a bad way.

Then the fight between a blond boy named “Johnny” started. It was stupid, over the Ail girl. Turns out she was Johnny’s new ex and he didn't like the fact that Daniel was making a move on her.

“Daniel please let's just go!” Reader tried to pull her twin away from the scene. After watching her brother get his ass kicked she just wanted to leave and go home. Daniel had to put up a fight with her. Making a big argument out of the whole thing.

She didn't take notice of how some of the boys in Johnny’s little gang looked at her. Eyeing her up as she tried to pull Daniel away. They gazed at her from the sidelines.

The two twins went home with no clue.

The first few weeks of school were weird to say the least for the two twins. Things escalated between Daniel and the other boys. He could try and hide it from their mom but he couldn’t hide it from his twin. She grew more and more worried by the day. Watching her brother get messed with, when he came home covered in bruises and cuts, bleeding all over their sheared room. She cried and he just told her not to worry.

Time went on and Daniel grew stronger, trained with Mr Myagi and learned karate.

It wasn’t until after the all-valley tournament that things really changed and things got better. Well to a point that is.

“I can’t believe he’s going after Ali when he has THAT all over him all the time.”

“You know I never liked Daniel in the first place but I didn’t see him as the kind of guy to cheat.”

“He does it right in public too. Gross.”

“LaRusso is just a two timing little bastred.”

All five boys glared in the direction of Daniel’s lunch table. It wasn’t even about the stupid tournament anymore. It was the fact that he was a prick who was trying to mess around with two girls at ones, one of them being on their radar for months now.

She was cute, chubby and thick, unlike almost any of the girls at west-valley. She had curves that filled her out in the perfect ways. Pretty eyes and the biggest smile they had ever scene. She even had the most prettiest hands they had ever seen, something Jimmy had pointed out at some point. They looked soft from a distance.

Yes a distance because they had yet to even try and make a move on her because of how close she was to Daniel.

Because with the way they acted, they where definitely in some kind of relationship. It pissed all of them off every time they saw the two together. Both in and out of school. The way she hugged him, laughed at his corny ass jokes, followed him everywhere. She was like a puppy.

Following around a big fat cheater. He openly cheated on the girl with Ali and was getting away with it. She acted like she had no idea from the looks of it.

“She’s cute, it's not fair that Daniel gets to be with a girl like that and get to two time her.” Bobby said as he poked at his food with a fork. Bobby was the first one to admit he was catching feeling for the girl a few months back. Dutch gritted his teeth as he watched Daniel. He tenses up next to Johnny saying “Fucking dick, leave it to a guy like LaRusso to get a hot chick and then treat her like trash.” Johnny rolled his eyes.

Johnny tried to keep it to himself these days about his feeling on LaRusso. He didn’t hold much grudge against him after the tournament, he won, that’s it.

“I think we should say something, to her at least. It’s not right that he’s doing this and for this long at that. It doesn’t even matter that we like her, she should know before he causes her more damage when she finds out.” Jimmy said with confidence. He was trying to think rationally. Tommy laughed as he patted the boy's back.

“After school today, we finally go in for the kill. We tell her what LaRusso has been doing, that he's been playing her for weeks now, and then we ask her out. Perfect timing.” Johnny smirked. He's eyes glazed over as he watches the girl.

The rest of the day went by quickly. All five boys grew more and more anxious though out the rest of the day.

They all meet up outside of the school after the bell rang. All of the stud around their bikes waiting for the girl to come out. They knew she usually we out though the front doors of the school and walked over the Daniel’s stupid yellow car.

The boys talked for a while, they watched as Daniel came jogging out of the front doors to his car, where he met Ali. They huddled close together talking and flirting for a while. Dutch clenched his jaw as he watched, Johnny’s fist’s itched to punch the punk in the face. Suddenly Ali and him parted and went their separate ways, Daniel went and sat in the front seat of his car.

Suddenly the doors of the school opened once again and the girl walked out. Backpack on her back with books in her arms.

Johnny made the first move as he caught her arm with his hand. She gasped and whipped around to face him, her eyes big.

His cheeks felt warm as he finally got a good look at her. She was just as pretty close up.

“Hey, we just want to let you know that Daniel LaRusso, that asshole, is cheating on you.”

Bobby said “Yeah we caught him multiple times getting all close and friendly with Ali.”

“He's been doing it for months now! It's tucked up that he's leading you on like that.”

“Yeah that's messed up man.”

“He doesn't deserve to two-time a pretty girl like you!” Tommy spoke up, his usual grin gone.

Her face was flushed as she pulled her wrist from Johnny’s grip. She huffed, her brows knit together as she looked at them. They couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or annoyance.

“Your kidding me right!”

“Hey we just wanted to let you know before-“

“He’s my twin brother not my boyfriend! You guys are sick, real sick. Fuck off!”

She stomped away and ran off towards her brothers car. She threw her stuff into the back seat before hoping into the front seat.

All five of the boys paled at the realization.

“She has to be joking with us-“

“Maybe it makes since, kinda-“

“Man there is no way she is actually his twin-“

“My head hurt’s-“

“WE ALL LIKE A LARUSSO?!? AND SHE’S HIS TWIN AT THAT!?!?”

To be continued……….

[jackieshaunanat]

Some miscellaneous random ass Melissa (and Gen!) Yellowjackets headcanons

Melissa is either an only child or the eldest child

She has either never been socialized a day in her life within her home

Or she’s the older brother in the dynamic who plays all the sports with her little sibling and gives them candy before dinner but has like 0 responsibilities that aren’t things like mowing the lawn or keeping her sibling(s) from getting hurt in comedic ways only kids can manage

Melissa and Gen have been friends for as long as they can remember, no you can’t ask them how they met, the answer is some wildly fake story about aliens or something

Melissa has a nonexistent relationship with both parents

Dad doesn’t give a shit, he’s either at work or at a bar and just totally uninvolved whatsoever

Mom....has a vendetta against Mel because Mel has never allowed herself to be forced into anything traditionally feminine a day in her life. I’m talking like cut up every dress she was given, tried to eat the nail polish, cut all the barbie’s hair off and dissembled them kind of refusal to conform to this Idea of a daughter her mother had

Her mom made the mistake of asking her dad for help and her dad was just like “i don’t care what she does, she’s not killing people, just stop wasting all our money on dresses she won’t wear!!!!”

The only and I mean ONLY compromise they’ve ever found is that Mel is actually a big fan of the color pink lol

Unspoken deal is that she can fuck off and do whatever she wants for as long as she wants as long as she’s home by curfew or otherwise has told them where she’s staying the night (it’s always Gen’s) and they won’t ask too many questions 

JOCK I know it’s yellowjackets and everyone is a little bit of a jock (by choice or by force) but Melissa is SUUUUUUUUCH a jock. She’s a jock in that she plays every sport they’ll allow her to play at a time and wakes up early as hell to run miles before school 

Ur such a himbo Mel be honest, no thoughts head empty, orange cat syndrome, not a single intelligent thought behind those blue eyes and polite cat smile

This mf plays guitar and bass and has the worst pipedreams of being in a riot grrl band

Really loves horror movies but only ever seems to watch the shitty sequels and unironically love them

She’ll watch the classics! But only after seeing one of the sequels and enjoying it

Definitely saw Suspiria and had NO idea what was going on but women pretty <3 yknow?

That’s definitely not the only case either

Mostly sober. Cigarettes are yuck, weed can ruin her success within sports, and alcohol is also just...kind of gross!

Very susceptible to peer pressure though (peer pressure via Gen at least)

Drinks socially? Mostly fakes it but Gen has a way of getting her to actually do it

Only only ever smokes cigarettes with Gen

Gen started smoking because it looked cool and Mel just...kind of stumbles into it when they hang out sometimes because she can’t say no to Gen

Still no weed though. She’s very adamant on that one

Nonbinary but not in the way she identifies as anything other than girl, in the way that if someone decides she’s a man then shit! she’s a man now <3 she will not correct people, she just doesn’t care, it’s all the same to her

Has had 1 (one) boyfriend ever

He wasn’t even a boyfriend, he was a one night stand

She couldn’t even commit to the one night stand thing

She literally puked in his lap when they started kissing

That horror story told in the locker room kept basically every other boy in school from talking to her...which is a win in her books

Not even remotely as cruel or mean as Gen, but is very passive when it comes to her. Will literally let Gen do whatever and say whatever the fuck she wants, even if internally she knows that Gen is in the wrong

She’ll only get involved if the poor victim retaliates, in which case she has scary dog privileges because no one is allowed to bully Gen even in selfdefense

Couldn’t give two shits about what people think of her

Unless of course..........it’s Gen

That’s only sort of a lie

Because she cares if rumors start about her, only gay rumors though

Because like what if they spread and her mom finds out and her mom is upset or embarrassed or angry because she has a lesbian for a daughter

Mel’s personal comfort will always take priority, which doesn’t really stop any rumors, but you know what does stop rumors?

Physical violence.

She’s really fucking intimidating. She’s tall and sturdy and built like a football player

No one wants to get on her bad side and no one wants to say they got beat up by a girl so...for the most part, no one talks shit

Gen is probably also like definitely wlw but getting her to admit that is like pulling teeth and even then she still won’t

Especially when the only girl she’s ever actually liked is Melissa

Which like tooooooooootally doesn’t count because Melissa is just like...sooooooooooooooo not girly yknow? you know

It also doesn’t count if they kiss because they’re definitely drunk or it’s just a game of spin the bottle or that one kind of hot guy thought it would be like so hot if they kissed or- you get the jist

Melissa would be friends with a lot more of the soccer team (same interests!!! they are solidarity!!) if she wasn’t hanging onto Gen’s every word and most of the team...don’t really like Gen! She’s like a meaner wannabe version of Jackie??? Like Jackie can be a bitch but she’s kind and it comes from a place of love (probably) but Gen is like....just a bitch end of statement

Has definitely made at least ONE mixtape for Gen that was...so so so very obviously gay if you just listened to the lyrics for 5 seconds it’s like oh my god girl glass walls!!!! you are living in a closet made of glass!!! swears it’s not a gay playlist though it’s just a COINCIDENCE or some bullshit

RIP Melissa you would have loved Rio Romeo and also you did unironically relate to Weezer songs I just know it

[kae-luna]

//WIP Intro Post: Ultra Drive//

Art by Computerizer

//Title: Ultra Drive

//Progress: Writing early chapters, planning for whole (hopefully) series out of order

//Genres: Sci-fi, cyberpunk, dystopian, biopunk, post-apocalyptic, action, LGBTQIA2S+, drama, psychological

//Links: Wattpad | Tapas (Coming Soon)

//Rating: 16+ for violence, blood, possible gore, swearing, and suggestive content

//Content warnings: death, pandemic, sickness, bigotry in general???, war, fascism

//POV: Third person First person. AlexiKa's POV.

//Setting: In the city of Venicula on the island of Arasai and surrounding areas. Takes place in the future.

//Premise: AlexiKa's world was changed forever the day her family was forced to immigrate to the imperial city of Venicula after the Ebony Plague - caused by mysterious spores - infected her home town.

~(Continued under the cut)~

Now a young adult, she works as a courier (and secretly an anti-corporation activist). When going on a delivery for the all powerful Gaia Corporation, she accidentally uncovers dark secrets and ends up infected with the same Ebony Plague that haunted her hometown as a child. But when she survives the illness and instead develops superhuman abilities, she joins a mutant resistance group - who call themselves Ultras - to fight against the Veniculan Empire, the Gaia Corporation, and other mutants with immoral goals.

//Aesthetic: neon and pastel architecture, holograms, dyed hair, tech gear, infrastructure in derelict conditions, overgrown plants, eco-friendly technology

//Tropes + themes: anti-capitalism, equality, probably found family, female empowerment, globalization, super powers, POC characters, LGBTQIA2S+ characters

//Inspiration: Nausicaa of The Valley of The Wind, Ultraviolet (2006), Aeon Flux (show + movie), Alita: Battle Angel (movie, OVA, + manga), Ghost in The Shell (anime), Fallout (games), 86 (anime), The Last Of Us (games), Blade Runner, The Matrix, 1980s, 90s, and early 2000s in general, vaporwave art, the United States of 'Merica, Sims 4 eco lifestyle

//Characters:

AlexiKa: A young woman with fiery passion and an even more fiery temper, AlexiKa - AKA Lexi - fights for her family's survival in the rough city of Venicula. She hates authority and will gladly fight for you, despite the odds.

Yuki Raiden: Lexi's mom. Japanese. Super sweet and tries to keep the mood positive, even in dark times.

Alessandro: Lexi's dad. An Italian himbo who loves to tinker.

Ellie: Lexi's childhood friend. Super sweet, but a bit cheeky as well. Pacifist. They might have some gay tension.

Empress Vox: Rules the city of Venicula. Politician who does weird parasocial crap over VR/AR. Definitely a good person.

Donovan Vox: Brother of the Veniculan president. CEO of Gaia Corporation.

LaKellan Ramirez: Leader of the Ultra Resistance. Calm and may seem cold, but is actually just a bit awkward and emotionally constipated.

(More coming soon probably-)

//Tags: Ultra Drive, aesthetic, xxx, xxx, xxx...

//Tag list: @digital-chance

//Pinterest boards: Aesthetic inspo | Character inspo

//Playlists: Scenic/Chill - Used for imagining scenery and for calmer scenes.| Edgy - Lots of industrial, trip-hop, metal, and rock beats for angsty, intense, action scenes. Some songs may include explicit content.

//Changelogs:

1.0: Initial Post.

1.2: Added more tags. Added playlist. Added Pinterest board links.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[yoichichi]

Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

OH

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like ���👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

[jaskierswolf]

Born to Make History Pt.2/3

A Geraskier Ice Skating Fic (with Yuri on Ice Influences) - On AO3

Previous

____________

Geralt couldn’t seem to calm his heart and it was fucking annoying. He’d managed to watch Jaskier in secret for years, ever since Yen had become his coach. He wasn’t sure why today had been any different. He couldn’t be angry at Ciri for letting slip that they’d been to a few of Jaskier’s performances when their schedule allowed. With any luck Jaskier would assume it was for Yennefer.

But it was Jaskier.

It had always been Jaskier.

He’d first seen Jaskier skate three years ago when Yen took over as his coach. He’d popped into the rink to collect Ciri. The rink had become a neutral spot to handover without Ciri getting upset as she loved to watch the skaters, even as a baby. So he’d snuck into the end of Yennefer’s session to find the most beautiful man gliding around the ice. He was in training gear but it was still tight enough that Geralt’s could see the firm muscles of the figure skater. Geralt’s mouth had gone dry and he’d been completely entranced. There was no music in the rink but Geralt could hear it anyway as the man had glided and danced and leapt around the rink.

Until he’d seen Geralt watching him. At that point he’d tripped over his toe-picks and fallen flat on his face. Geralt had been so embarrassed that he’d grabbed the two year old in her pram and fled from the rink before the skater could regain his composure.

It happened almost every time after that. If Jaskier spotted Geralt whilst he was skating then he would trip or mess up. So Geralt tried to keep his distance. He didn’t want to be responsible for Jaskier injuring himself. He couldn’t have that on his conscience not when Jaskier clearly had a glittering career in front of him.

Except for today Jaskier hadn’t spotted him until the end of the routine and Geralt hadn’t run away. They’d had a conversation, they’d even skated together with Ciri acting as a sort of buffer between them. Geralt still kept his distance, preferring to watch as Jaskier taught his daughter the basics of figure skating.

Geralt almost wish he’d brought his old figure skates with him instead of his hockey ones. He reckoned he could still do a double toe loop maybe even a triple. He doubted that he would have as much grace as Jaskier whilst doing it though. He was built for hockey and he was out of practice. He could lift Jaskier though, the figure skater was almost as tall as him and well built but Geralt was strong enough that, if given the chance, he could definitely lift him.

Not that he’d thought about it.

Much.

And now they were getting coffee. It wasn’t a date. Geralt kept telling himself that but Jaskier’s hand was gripping his arm as he laughed at some joke he’d told that Geralt’s hadn’t heard. Ciri was holding Geralt’s other hand and chattering happily with the figure skater. Geralt was stuck between the two of them feeling like he’d walked out of one of his dreams, a dream he hadn’t even allowed himself to imagine.

“Geralt?” Jaskier’s hand squeezed his arm and he looked up to find Jaskier’s beautiful cornflower blue eyes looking at him.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” Jaskier frowned and licked his lips.

God, Geralt wanted to kiss him.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

Jaskier flicked his fringe from his eyes and chewed on his lips again. It was fucking distracting. Did he even realised how much Geralt wanted him? Geralt would have to get him some lip balm to try and stop the never ending lip licking. Otherwise they would never get through a conversation without Geralt’s brain cutting out.

“How do you have your coffee?” Jaskier sang as they entered the rink’s coffee shop. Geralt noted his often sang random sentences. He recalled that Yen had said Jaskier had composed his own free skate music.

His free stake music was ridiculous but catchy. Geralt had caught himself humming it more than once during practice. The song just wriggled its way into your head a refused to leave. By the end of the first week of the figure skating season, the whole hockey team were singing it. Jaskier could have easily become a musician if he hadn’t fallen in love with skating.

“Black.” He grunted.

Jaskier made a face and wrinkled up his nose. “Oh god, really?”

Geralt chuckled. “No but that’s what people assume.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “That is not the question I asked. Come on, let me get you coffee, as a thank you for catching me earlier.”

“Caramel latte.” Geralt mumbled. “I need the sugar for training.”

Jaskier laughed and god even that was beautiful. “You and me both!” He strutted up to the counter to order whilst Geralt found a table with Ciri.

She sat opposite him and watched him intently, her chin resting on her hands.

“What?”

“You like him.” Ciri stated. It wasn’t even a question.

“Hmm.” He hummed nonchalantly. His daughter was perceptive but he wasn’t ready to admit it just yet, not aloud, not where Jaskier could potentially hear him. He glanced over at Jaskier who was busy flirting with the barista and Geralt’s heart sank.

Definitely not a date then.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Why had he let his hopes get up? What would Jaskier see in him? His grey hair made him look decades older than he really was, his eyes were a weird yellow colour, nothing like Jaskier’s gorgeous cornflower blue eyes. He had less grace than a new born giraffe and little to no musicality. He was in so many ways, Jaskier’s opposite, but then again, they did say opposites attract and fuck was he attracted to Jaskier.

The object of his desire laughed at something the barista said and then he turned to face Geralt with a dazzling smile. Geralt returned the smile weakly, still feeling a little nauseous from having his crush to close to him and yet so unobtainable.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Ciri asked, her nose scrunched up as she tried to figure out why Geralt was being a coward with his feelings.

“It’s more complicated than that.” He muttered and ruffled her hair.

She shook his hand off and pouted. “Why?”

“Just is.”

“Yeah but why?”

Geralt sighed. “He won’t like me back.”

“How do you know?”

Geralt groaned. Bloody children and their endless curiosity. “I just know.”

“Know what?” Jaskier asked as he passed Geralt a large coffee cup. He put the coffee carrier down on the table and carefully handed Ciri the smaller of the two. “Careful, sweetheart, it’ll be hot.”

Ciri rolled her eyes and gripped the cup between her little hands. “Duh.” She muttered.

“So know what, Geralt?” Jaskier asked again as he bit his lip. They was chapped from too much time spent at the rink and Geralt couldn’t stop himself from staring.

“Hmm?” He replied, blinking as he vaguely registered Jaskier’s question.

“Dad said he knows that you won’t like him.” Ciri stated matter-of-factly and Geralt’s brain suddenly snapped into gear.

Shit!

Jaskier choked on his drink and Geralt almost knocked his all over the table. “I’m sorry what?!” Jaskier shrieked.

Geralt groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Ciri!”

“What?” She snapped. “He asked!”

“Go find your mother.” Geralt muttered sharply. His hands were shaking and Jaskier was just staring at him with his radiant blue eyes. “Now. Ciri.”

“But—”

“Now.” Geralt insisted and pulled out his phone to send Yennefer a quick heads up before sighing and turning towards Jaskier. “Sorry. She’s just a kid.”

“Geralt, I—”

“No, it’s fine. I understand. I’m just sorry you found out.” He cut Jaskier off before he could hear the words that would break his heart.

“No but Geralt I—”

“It’s fine, Jaskier.” Geralt reassured the skater. “I can stop coming to your performances.”

Jaskier stood up with a wave of his arms. “Geralt, would you just listen to me, you emotionally constipated himbo?!” Jaskier yelled and Geralt’s mouth snapped shut.

Fuck.

Jaskier put both hands on his hips and glared at him. “You’ve seen my routine?” Geralt nodded but didn’t say anything. “Have you worked out the story yet?”

Geralt frowned. “Eros, sexual love?” He grumbled.

Jaskier chimed a laugh. “The story of seduction, Geralt. I am the seductress trying to woo my playboy lover.”

“Playboy lover?” Geralt repeated.

Jaskier tossed his fringe from his eyes. “Famous hockey player who could have anyone he wants, formerly married to the most successful and most beautiful female skater of our generation?”

Geralt felt his cheeks heat up. “I’m no playboy.”

“No. Perhaps not, but my story was better.” Jaskier shrugged and licked his lips. His cheeks were as red as Geralt’s felt.

He furrowed his brow. “You were trying to seduce…me?”

Jaskier scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. “Well I didn’t think it would ever work. God, Geralt you are way out of my league!”

Geralt laughed. Out of Jaskier’s league. It was Jaskier who was out of Geralt’s league. The way he skated was absolutely breath taking, if he good just manage to land all of his jumps and maybe increase the difficult of his routines he would be dominating men’s skating. There wasn’t a single skater in the Grand Prix final that could out perform Jaskier. Yennefer would and had disagreed but none of the others were able to enchant Geralt the way that Jaskier could, and fuck, his Eros routine plagued Geralt’s dreams.

How many times had he dreamed about peeling off the sequinned black outfit? The skirt that flick up to reveal that little tease of blood red. Fuck. It was hot. It drove Geralt mad and the way Jaskier licked his lips at the start of routine and winked at the audience.

Out of his league.

It must be a joke. How could Geralt even begin to compete with his beauty?

“Geralt!” Jaskier whined, snapping him out of his Eros fuelled daydream. He refocussed on the real Jaskier’s face. The skater was pouting at him and it took every ounce of Geralt’s self control not to kiss him.

“You think you’re out of my league?”

Jaskier nodded and Geralt just laughed again.

“God, I’ve wanted you for years, Jask.” He admitted with a shake of his head.

Jaskier’s jaw dropped. “No.”

“Yes.”

“You mean we could have been…?”

Geralt nodded. “Yes.”

Jaskier groaned and flopped back into his seat. “Fuck me.”

Geralt took a long sip of his caramel latte as he watched Jaskier despairing over the potentially lost time. He hummed. “Normally I would ask you to dinner first.”

Jaskier’s eyes snapped up to meet his gaze. “Geralt!” He was blushing brightly but a playful smile danced on his lips. “How about I ask you to dinner?”

Geralt smiled and nodded, today was suddenly seeming a lot brighter. “Dinner it is.”

Jaskier reached across the table and Geralt took his hand. It was warm from where Jaskier had been holding onto his coffee, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Geralt was still reeling over the fact he was allowed to hold Jaskier’s hand, after so many years of watching him on the ice. He’d always seemed so far away. A joyful presence in both Yen and Ciri’s life but never his, and for some unknown reason Jaskier had wanted him.

“Why?” He asked.

Jaskier raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Why?” He repeated the question.

“Why did you think I was out of your league?” It wasn’t exactly what he’d meant but repeating Jaskier’s earlier words were easier than trying to think of his own.

Jaskier laughed and squeezed Geralt’s hand. “Because look at you!” He gestured with his free hand. “You’re bloody gorgeous.”

“So are you.” Geralt mumbled.

That seemed to give Jaskier pause as his mouth opened and shut a couple of times. “Yeah. Well. You’re more gorgeous, and you’re this famous ice hockey player, Captain of the Kaer Morhen Wolves, ex-husband to the Yennefer Vengerberg, the Ice Queen. Father to the sweetest most adorable little five year old. You have everything. Why would you want me?”

Geralt felt his expression soften as Jaskier’s gaze fell to the table. “Because you make me hear the music even when there’s none playing.” Jaskier frowned and chewed on his lip. Geralt sighed and ran his thumb along Jaskier’s bottom lip, pulling it free from his teeth. “You keep doing that. It’ll start bleeding.”

“Yeah well.” Jaskier muttered breathlessly.

“Being famous means shit all.” He sighed as he pulled away from Jaskier’s face. “No one gives a fuck about the person underneath. I’m just the ice hockey hero.”

Jaskier scoffed. “Well, then, Mr Ice Hockey Hero. Who is Geralt Rivia?”

Geralt chuckled. “You sound like press.”

“You don’t mind if I record this do you?” Jaskier teased and moved the small pepper pot to sit in the middle of them. “It’s easier than taking notes. I’d rather this just be you and me, without a notebook.”

“Jaskier!” He growled.

“Now, we’ve all heard about your skills on the ice, tell me…” Jaskier paused dramatically and licked his lips. “do those skills transfer to the bedroom?”

Geralt barked a laugh. “I wish I could say I’ve never been asked that in an interview before.” He groaned.

“No!” Jaskier giggled.

“Hmm.” He agreed. It had been just after his divorce with Yen and the press were trying to market him as the next playboy bachelor.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you dodged the question, Geralt.” Jaskier teased.

Geralt tilted his head and smirked. “If you win the Grand Prix final, maybe you’ll find out.”

Jaskier gaped. “Geralt!” He groaned. “That’s just not fair. I’ll never win.”

Geralt just shrugged.

“You’re joking right. God please tell me you’re joking.”

Geralt didn’t answer.

“Geralt!!” ______________

Next

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

[rosesinbloom7love]

The first names that came to mind was Liam & Thalia and i pictured looking identical to L'arc & Therese, but with opposite personalities and Aesthetics.

Example: L'arc is the definition of a himbo. He's sweet, goofy, playful, flirty, and not that smart, but still tries.

In contrast, Liam would be pretty strait-laced. He's highly intelligent, no-nonsense, always serious, very confident, but easily flustered. He also wears glasses (totally not excuse to L'arc in glasses).

Whenever L'arc tries to avoid doing paperwork, Liam is there to drag him back to his office and force him to finish it.

For Therese & Thalia, i see them being the typical girly-girly girl and tomboy duo.

Therese is definitely that one sister who is seemingly perfect in everyway. She pretty, very studious always getting great grades, and loves shiny things (i.e. jewels), but is still very caring, helpful, and compassionate.

In contrast, Thalia is that one sibling that somehow always in trouble. She's a troublemaker and wears that title like a f*cking medal. She's much quicker to anger than her twin and choices violence or talking. She loathes dresses prefering pants or shorts. Much like L'arc, she hates paperwork of any kind and avoids it like the plague.

Both Therese & Thalia are kinda flirty, but Thalia is a bit more assertive in her flirting, while Therese is more on the subtle side

Thalia is the type of girl to walk up to a cute guy and slap his ass and then tell him he has a nice ass (she may or may not have done that to Naofumi when they first meet). Thalis either has hair that's been cut short or she wears it in a long upwards ponytail.

That's my personal headcannon though 😁

If L’Arc and Therese each had a twin, what would the twins' names be?