#but she hated me bc she wasn’t gay lmfao

[crybaby-bkg]

Dabi is sooo stray cat coded to me. you find him hurt and bleeding near your house one day, and maybe you only clean his wounds and feed him whatever you had in the fridge, and he just keeps coming back. keeps finding a reason to return to you—he left his phone charger—he never returned your Tupperware—he needs the recipe for that one dish you made that one time even though he knows it’s just a gateway for you to cook it for him again.

and after a while, you just start inviting him in with no hesitation or need of an excuse. he’s such a stray cat kinda dude, just slinks in whenever he feels like it. knocks things over because he finds your reactions funny. steals your food and your warmth and your side of the bed.

after a while, you two fall into a routine with each other. he comes over and messes with you until he gets bored and leaves again, only to pop up in fewer intervals every time. but, as time goes on, in those moments, he just likes to watch you. keep his hands to himself—sometimes—and admires your daily routine. thinks to himself that this is what normalcy is like, asks himself why does he crave it with you so badly?

Dabi watches you from the corner of your bed as you sit in front of your mirror to dab on your makeup. he’s learned what the hell primer and bronzer is and the quickest way to do eyeliner, and it fascinates him more than it should. he watches you prance out of the bathroom after a shower in just your underwear and a towel on your head. how you lather your skin in these fancy oils and body butters, but finds himself asking if they’re safe on still healing burned skin.

he watches you cook him dinner and clean the living room and enjoy your shitty music and tv shows and cry over your dumb romance books and he just. he just can’t believe he’s fallen into this domesticity with you, this normalcy, as he finds himself not watching anymore but doing—with you, beside you. and he finds that he likes it. just a little.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 3

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Memories Made by zjass06

"Hi! I'm Will! You're my new neighbour!" the blonde boy beams; Nico frowns in turn, peering curiously at this Will. "My ma' says not to talk to strangers," Nico replies as he sits himself upon the grass. Will plops himself down next to the dark haired boy, who giggles so purely it makes his smile contagious. "I'm not a stranger, I'm your neighbour! You live next to me now and we can be friends!" Or A few snippets of Nico’s life and how his friendship develops with Will, all within a much treasured treehouse.

childhood friends to lovers will ALWAYS be elite. to me. and the centrality of this treehouse in this fic is so fucking cute bc they absolutely are the type of nerds to have a treehouse they use well into their late teens lol

2. Mafia by @buoyantsaturn

Nico is the most terrifying mob boss in New York, and Will is his live-in doctor. A Mafia Au

MY FAVE SOLANGELO SERIES TBH. like is it toxic a little bit? yeah. did the second one make me squeamish? yeah. in the 6/7 years since its been posted, have i read it literally DOZENS of times?? you betcha. idk man theres something about the danger of it all. the insane mob boss and the doctor hes whipped for. SO SO much fun and so so so romantic

3. you stormed into the battlefield (of my heart) by fedyaism

“Doctor Solace,” he says, “would you be willing to tend to a foe?” Will blinks. (He had practically expected everything but this.) “I’m sorry?” “I need you to heal an enemy for me. Can you do that?” Grace asks in a tone that lets Will know that he wasn’t really asking. “An… an enemy, sir?” “Yes. I will send him to you.” “Of course, General.” (What else could he say?)

this ends ambiguously but i am Choosing to believe they find each other again and live happily ever after for ever and ever bc im a weenie. its just...man fuck the military and i got no fondness for war BUT this isnt real and ergo i can sigh dreamily at love that is inherently kind of tragic and all the more desperately beautiful for you, yknow??

4. It's a Process by @oh-hush-its-perfect

When Nico comes out to Hazel, she really isn't sure how to react. Of course, she loves her brother to pieces, but something is holding her back. It takes a while to get over old beliefs. It takes a while to become accepting. It takes Hazel a while indeed. A.K.A. Nico is gay and Hazel can't wrap her head around it.

contrary to what the summary may lead you to believe, hazel is NOT at all homophobic in this fic. in fact her number one goal at all times is to be supportive, even as she struggles, and you know what? thats more important i think. her love for her brother is so transparently obvious in this one, she spends like 8k words doing everything she can to make SURE she is loving and accepting!!! hazel i love you. also the campfire scene had me giggling fr

5. three times everyone thought they hated each other by lizamarri

and the one time everyone realized they didn't ~ ft. capture the flag, big three kids sparring, will healing nico and being sassy about it, and more. enjoy!

NOTHING hits as hard as flirt fighting. truly nothing. also 3+1s are my weakness i stg, theres just something about outside pov and the sheer clarity of how much they love each other and love driving each other up the wall lmfao

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[dukeofdelirium]

In my early days of being a moonwalker, I remember being very ashamed to the point where I would keep it a secret. I wasn’t ashamed of the person that I was listening to and watching, but rather the opinions of other people. Before I got into his music, I remember my dad telling me that he was gay and that he liked little boys. Of course, I had to ask if he went to jail for that, but I was told that he bought his way out. That never made sense to me, therefore it meant nothing to me. When I finally got into his music and everything, I didn’t tell anyone, when usually I would yap about things that became my recent obsession. After a while, my cousin found out about a TikTok account I had (back when it was Musically lol) that was a fan account. I played it off as using his image to bring in more likes and views (it sounds terrible, I know). I remember this conversation I had with her that I said I honestly thought he was cute, and at that moment her mom walked in and she told her mom about what I said. Her mom looked at me as if it was the worse thing I could’ve told her daughter and asked if I was okay. I laughed and said that I was over him anyway, but it hurt and still does after so many years. When LN came out, I remember discussing it with a friend, saying it would be impossible to be abused in a place that didn’t exist and her response was, “Sure, but that doesn’t mean nothing happened.” I wasn’t coming across as a fan, just someone who heard something through the grape vine and it was clear that she did not know the extent of their claims. Recently, perhaps within the last year, I was talking with my sister about something that had nothing to do with Michael, but somehow he entered the conversation. She turned to her husband and said “Did you know there’s a documentary about how he abused two kids?” It was obvious to me that she’d never seen it, but I didn’t say anything cause who would believe me? Of course, I’m still not THAT open about it but I’ve grown the deal with the jokes, the rumors, and the side eyes.

I had similar experiences. I remember that growing up, my dad did not allow me or my siblings to actually listen to MJ’s music lol. I remember watching the news during his criminal trial, I remember the late night talk shows where they had the audacity to joke about child molestation and turn him into a caricature.

I remember that I used to listen to MJ secretly lmfao. I’d literally sneak around the house and play his music only when everyone else was asleep 😭 my dad had my ass feeling like some kind of criminal for playing MUSIC 😭😭😭😭 my dad also said similar things by making fun of Michael for “being gay” and whatnot. Obviously Michael wasn’t gay, but the way my dad spoke about it was another big reason it took me so long to accept my sexuality, because I was being exposed to how much he hated the idea of gay people when I was like 6-7 years old.

I also remember black or white being the first MJ song I heard. The song and vid are still special to me bc I remember having to secretly watch it when no one could catch me and I was obsessed needless to say.

Anyway, I think a lot of us MJ fans had similar experiences in this regard. Either we were afraid to be caught being fans, afraid to be caught listening to his music, or we were being harassed and bullied for it or something. As I’ve gotten older I stopped giving a fuck, though, obviously. But it’s really fucked up that so many of us were made to feel this way. For what? Listening to great music and defending a provably innocent man? It’s crazy lmao

[spiderlingh]

obx s3 thoughts (obviously contains spoilers!)

this is just my opinion, please don’t come for me if u disagree :)

i was a bit disappointed with this season ngl, definitely my least favorite season of the series so far

action sequences were really good but i felt like a few episodes were just straight meaningless action scenes and that definitely felt unnecessary to me

cleo pope jj owners of the season <3

drew starkey can certainly pull off a buzzcut but man do i miss his sexy haircut from season 2 😭😭

WAY TOO MANY BIG JOHN SCENES oh my god look i get it, it’s a miracle the guy turned up alive and shit but i am not john b i do not give two shits about this rather mean looking man and i felt like he was on my screen more than the main cast

shoutout to his actor tho. he did a great job portraying him

i thought i would be a jiara shipper but i don’t like them together at all… i lowkey hate that the writers now literally paired kie with every guy of the pogues when that seems so out of character for her

saw a post about kie being lesbian and you know what? y e s. even though i think a love interest wouldn’t be necessary for her to begin with

i’m a jjpope girlie sorry their chemistry is just chef’s kiss but it’s never gonna happen bc according to the writers there’s not a single gay on that silly lil island

(it’s completely fine if you do ship them bc they did have chemistry in the previous seasons)

not the sarah x topper drama getting reused from last season… i love sarah but girl what the hell

speaking of topper i thought it was fun how they included him in the train heist

but the way sarah manipulated him and used him… i’m no fan of his at all but i did feel for him bc he pulled so much for her and she went straight back to john b 😭

my boy really said i’m gonna light this place up like a damn bonfire lmfao

anyway back to it

the main villains (ward and rafe) of the past two seasons became pretty much irrelevant this season?? huh???

rafe did a near complete 180 out of nowhere… which was strange

like this man’s whole trauma was solely fixed on getting love and respect from his father and the whole donating the cross situation really sucked if you look at it from rafe’s perspective but i do not believe that THAT was all it took to suddenly become so hostile towards ward. even if he still ended up saving him.

this guy was so stuck in the cycle of violence from the pilot up to the final episode of season 2 and his character development was so interesting to see (that scene in s2 when he says he’s not okay and needs help and ward tells him to man up still stuck with me) and it feels like they threw it out of the window and pretty much sidelined his character for no reason at all.

new boring villain is introduced and gets killed in the same season

worst parent award goes to mike and anna

I WANT TO SEE MORE OF JJ AND SARAH WORKING TOGETHER OR JUST INTERACTING PLEASE

they’re such a fun dynamic like give me that please i’ve been asking for this before s2 even came out

the pogues had pretty much 2 scenes together and that’s it… i had hoped to see more of them and their dynamics and just more of them on that deserted island??? wasted potential oh my god

is it just me or was the filming style a lil different this season…

wasn’t rafe’s love interest supposed to be a bigger thing? because the few scenes he shared with her were completely irrelevant and so was her entire character tbh 😭

rafe and kie teaming up… was awesome i loved it

jj and kie running into pope and cleo when they were just about to get off the bus and immediately had to run from people with big ass guns is peak obx energy and i thought it was hilarious

i audibly gasped at the time jump!! such a weird way to end the season, it almost seemed like a series finale but knowing that season 4 is already confirmed i’m genuinely wondering what direction they’re gonna take this. the root of it all was that they were looking for the treasures because some of them were connected to it in their own ways (john b and the royal merchant bc of his dad, pope and the cross/denmark tanny bc family) and rafe and ward were perfect villains up until this season.

if there’s something i want to see in the next season, it’s just more pogue scenes, strengthening their own characters and developments and their dynamics with the other pogues. we really do not need the same romance drama every season. it’s boring and frankly annoying. honestly in this show there’s so much going on that i don’t feel like each one of the pogues needs to end up with someone. i would love to have jarah and jjpope as endgame and have kie and cleo end up solo or maybe have other love interests (but not really).

just give me the pogues doing what they do best — bickering while they’re off chasing some mystery and putting their lives at risk and miraculously getting out of it alive and well.

because season 3 was just weird. really weird. idk this is all for now but i might add more later!

[ev1llesb1an]

Documentation of my comphet throughout the years 🧍‍♀️

Okay so I thought it’d be funny to talk abt my most intense male fixation eras as a lesbian (idk i’m just shitposting into the void again) judge me all u want (it is probably needed) but i need ppl to understand the real me 🙏

IT CROPPED HALF HIS FACE OUT but i just realised if you aren’t british ur gonna have no idea who he is anyone (he’s lachlan white from emmerdale) omg this was an ERA everyone around me thought i was going insane (i was) but like they just didn’t get it he slayed so hard at a level that will never be reached (literally) also tom atkinson on sex education was like a full circle moment for me omg but anyways i was like 11-12 here these were literally my formative years this changed me FOREVER don’t judge he slayed omg

THIS okay so u can’t even blame me for this one it’s just correct. yes he’s like walking masculinity stereotype BUT he also had depth and was interesting 😌 the fanfics were SO GOOD this is when i really got into fanfiction and accidentally read smut where someone get pregnant in the hunger games 🧍‍♀️i read this one fic that was like x reader AND THEY STRAIGHT UP BOTH DIED but anyways. i read fanfics abt literally everyone thg character (read abt women and convinced myself i was still straight lmfao) but he was the stand out for me. i recently revisited this era and the fics ppl write on ao3 r INSANE omg like what is wrong with u ppl ( i say this lovingly but also wtf )

OMGOMGOMG BEST ERA OF MY LIFE u actually don’t understand u just had to be there. a solid percentage of my brain even to this day is made up of this man. this is like the stupidest thing ever but when i was like 14 i would just mirror his personality (and tone down the arsehole part obvs) so that i could get more talkative AND IT ACTUALLY WORKED nobody in the whole world will ever understand how much he means to me (i don’t rly understand it myself tbh) and ik ppl literally fuckinf despise him but i will not tolerate the dandy mott slander bc he is literally part of my core identity atp i revisit him every few months just to fully reconnect with my inner being. did anyone read Companion? that shit was crazy also i wrote a fic abt him on wattpad and people actually READ IT so anyways best era of my life it truly never got better i rly hit me peak (i had 0 friends) the few friends i had literally told me i talked abt him too much and it made them like me less 💀

this was arguably my most chill era like yea i was pretty obsessive but with marvel it’s so normalised to be so intense abt everything i kinda just fit right in. there’s too much professor fanfiction r u ppl okay 🧍‍♀️ also more actor fanfiction than i have ever seen for any other man in my LIFE but the capitalism went hard during this era the fluff was so good. arguably my most comforting era? idk i can’t rly explain that one

okay so these two r kinda completely different but also (for obvious reasons) the exact same. gotham was my most openly gay era and for that i will forever be grateful HOWEVER the kristen kringle haters were doing WAY TOO MUCH like she’s already dead why u doing her like that constantly (u will see this sentiment echoed later abt someone else hmmm i wonder who) but yea and then YES i was a paul dano lesbian (literally wasn’t out as lesbian at this point lmao) honestly this is probably the era my friends hated the most they would either awkwardly pretend to agree/care abt the shit i was saying or straight up tell me i was delusional 💀 my friends even now still call it my worst era but i LOVED IT kinda solidified my position at the bottom of the hellish secondary school hierarchy but i still had a good time. the paul dani riddler fanfics r next level tho the way ppl would just post STALKER fics constantly with like zero warnings and it was never labelled as yandere 🧍‍♀️i also got in an argument with a writer on wattpad bc they made the riddler and the oc have like a 6 year age gap and they met when she was 10 and he was like 16 💀 other than that good vibes all round

tbh this era was pretty brief i can’t fully explain what happened here like the vibes were immaculate but also insane WHY IS THERE SM YANDERE FANFIC peter parker is so nice but then in fanfics it’s like 👹 but i rly like spider-man HOWEVER this then led me to my final destination on the comphet journey…

omg were finally at the final stop the peak of comphet ( i came out as lesbian within this era ) arguably not my finest hour bc i swore i would never watch criminal minds bc the number of seasons is WAY TOO MUCH but here we are i watched it bc i read too much fanfic abt this man. i have lots of criticism for the fandom but he in himself is acc a rly good character. this was supposed to be like my ethical era but he’s acc killed like a bunch of ppl and thomas gibson is MESSY (don’t cancel me pls i say that lovingly 🫶) the haley hotchner misogyny nearly killed me off i don’t think i’ve ever been so miserable in a fandom and the fanfics kinda take feminism back a few hundred years but pretty good besides that

anyways there is my brainrot i hope the two (at most) ppl who will read this enjoyed 🫶 LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO im gonna say i posted this in honour of international lesbian day even tho that was several days ago

[prisonpodcast]

Vent under cut tw queerphobia

Usually I don’t think about it too much but it just hit me that my parents would really not like me if they find out I like girls. Like I don’t think I’ll ever directly tell them at all, especially not until I move out, but like man. If they find out it could completely ruin our whole relationship. It’s wild to think about it, and I think that’s why I try not to 😭

Idk I’m just feeling a little down rn. My mom gets upset at any difference from the norm. She even gave me a lecture today about why I have to wear a bra because “it dosent look good without it” when I made a comment about mine causing me back pain and making me uncomfortable. And she’s made comments about lesbians being gross (I’m not a lesbian but like she probably thinks the same of any wlw). And my dad is like. Idk how to explain it but like Ben Shapiro/Matt Walsh pilled? Like he watches those people so his opinions are uh. Yeah.

It dosent help that I have a “friend” (I’m pretty pissed at her rn) that’s extremely queerphobic to both me and my other queer friend. We got into a screaming match argument like a week ago bc she said she would drop my other friend if he changed his pronouns (he was trying to test the waters to see if it was safe to come out to her as trans and it didn’t go well). And in the argument she made loads of crazy ass comments to both of us. I was doing most of the arguing back but she said things like we were both queer bc of mental illness and trauma. And she said I was probably “interpreting my feelings wrong” when it came to attraction towards girls. And she made a “joke” about how I probably SA people because I’m gay and when I was like wtf is wrong with you she was like “you called me transphobic” and I was like???? BECAUSE YOU ARE??? She said she would drop our friend because he’s trans?????

And she doesn’t think she’s homophobic because she reads BL porn and she doesn’t think she’s transphobic because she didn’t send hate to Elliot Page and Hunter Schafer 🤦‍♀️

Idk if this is coherent I know it’s pride month and like yayyy it’s ok to be gay and all but I really wish I wasn’t it actually really sucks that people will just have a problem with your existence for no reason and you just have to deal with all these extra problems cishet people will never know about or understand and if you say anything about it you’re a sensitive snowflake who should just get over themselves ☹️

Like the online spaces I’m in really had me fooled for a good long minute about how the world really feels about queer people. Because it’s not good. I’m just glad I can come on here and see everyone be so accepting and nice because without this my mental health would probably be a lot lot worse

And I think I’ve mentioned that I go to an all girl’s Catholic school? But the school is like really accepting lol we have a LGBTQ+ club and there’s pride flags all around rn and everything lmfao. It’s nice that that’s a safe space too even if some of the students are really queerphobic, but that’s to be expected anywhere. It just sucks that all these pride flags everywhere make it seem like the world is very supportive when it really just isn’t. And the people who are unsupportive think it is because of all the pride shit everywhere and then I have to listen to complaints about how queer people are overreacting because “everyone is accepting now look at all the rainbows, you don’t face any oppression” and it’s just so 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ SHUT UP how would you even know anyways you haven’t spend one single day being queer just shut up you don’t know what it’s like to constantly be scared of losing friendships and having your relationships with your loved ones be fucked up over something you have zero control over just shut up you don’t know anything 😭😭

[creepweirdo]

OOOO @newyearknwwme tagged me in this cute little tag game 🥺🥺🥺❤️ it was so much fun ❤️❤️❤️ THANK YOU

(ALSO guys im so sorry for the lack of emojis i drafted this in word kjsadfljashdf)

why did you choose your url?

hahahhaha ive been in the habit of saving funny urls ever since tfatw came out jsdhflkjshdf and the “she lived she served cunt then she died” meme was making the rounds and i wanted a url based of that and surprisingly it wasn’t taken !!!! also i’m addicted to changing my url i need help-

any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

yeah ahahahahahah i have a cdrama/fandom blog @imaprettyboy and then i have a joji blog where i make gifs shkflahsdkjfhskdj lol i am not gonna promo it JKHDLKJH but omg im fighting with the blog at the moment bc my gifs are not showing up in the joji tag :((( it’s a calculated move against me i know it

how long have you been on tumblr?

since the start of 2015 maybe ???? i had another account but deleted it and started fresh on here at the end of 2016. LMAO it started as a twd and yuri on ice blog khjhfdlsh my blog archive is so funny sometimes i look at it and laugh

do you have a queue tag?

hhahaha noooo. LMAOOOOOO vee’s answer is pretty much the same as me sldfhlakjhd i only recently figured out how the even do it and i think i prefer to reblog a million things at once ,,,, however i have been known to schedule things every now and then kasdfhlkjhd

why did you start your blog in the first place?

i started this once bc i think i took a break from tumblr for like a week after i deleted my old one but i missed it AJHDKJAHSjfhkdjhlk

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

omg zuko limp wrist angry gay icon !!! i’ve had this icon for uhhhhh maybe like 2 weeks now ?? originally i think i found the screenshot in someone’s twitter replies but the other day i giffed and coloured the little scene and took a screenshot from that and now this one is a bit more RED !! but yeah leo @thisisagaysonlyevent sums it up when he described zuko as my main girl and yeah <3

why did you choose your header?

omg zuko limp wrist angry gay icon !!! but yeah !! it used to just be that screenshot but i giffed it the other day <3333 i love it so much sometimes i just stare at my blog and watch him move hahaha

what’s your post with the most notes?

oh hahahahah i think its an umbrella academy one about klaus being gay and not being able to drive LMFAO. i kind of hate the post KJHDLJHFJHDskjdh it was a notes grab i will admit

how many people do you follow?

as of 11/6/2021 i follow 389 people kjshdflkjshdfkjhd i used to follow like 1000+ ,,,,,, but i was always missing my beloved mutuals’ posts so i cut it down sjdhflh the only downside is that the dash gets really really dead certain times of the day 

have you ever made a shitpost?

lmao i think it is my brand

how often do you use tumblr?

stop OMG skjhflkjhadskjfh this is so embarrassing ,,,, like a lot. its my main social media hahahah. i used to use instagram and tumblr equally but not so much anymore ,,,,

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

LMAO vee’s answer to this made me laugh so hard bc SAME. i have never fought with people online for real but ive had dreams about it to HAAHHAHAHAH i’m crazy

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

hmmmm it depends – i don’t like the condescending or guilt tripping ones

do you like tag games?

yes i do and i appreciate every single tag ive had but im a terrible person and procrastinate them. ive got a lot in my drafts from like months ago which i will get around to one day im sorry <3

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? 

lmao this year ive learnt that SO MANY of my mutuals are famous kjshdflhsdf its actually so crazy i didn’t know people could have that many followers on tumblr KJKDLJSHFKJHF. also ahhaha vee said that she think im famous which sajkfhdljhdf i will say this year i’ve like doubled the amount of followers i had this time last year but servingcunt is still pretty niche underground if you know you know grungecore pickle rick kafkaesque et cetera et cetera

do you have a crush on a mutual? 

im for real in love with all my mutuals <3 ily

last song i listened to

okay technically it’s the song vee put bc i clicked the link and it opened on my spotify web browser and started playing jkhsfljdhfk but the one before that is the new doja cat song – need to know !!! 

my phone bg and lockscreen

LMAO ill put some screenshots LKJHFKJHD the lock screen and home screen really don’t go together ,,,, gemini moment

tagging

lmao only do this if you guys want to <333

@sluthonorific @highwarlockkareena @beefleef​ (even tho vee tagged you alreadyyy sjkfhjhs) @nicholasbraungf​ @thisisagaysonlyevent​ @roombagreyjoy​ @sharkentine​ @doctorfeathers​ @softpluto​ @bucxkybarnes​ @katsstratford​

[bestworstcase]

Yes to just the whole concept of why casscaine is good 🙌 I also saw the unrequited cassunzel in your post and wanted to say as much as I hate how it feels like we were queer baited in the show (Disney’s brand btw) It kinda works? Or for me at least. Not the queer baiting but the unrequited love because of the fact Cass and Rapunzel are individuals headed into different places in their life. Eugene and Rapunzel finally have their destinies intertwined by the end of the series, opposite of Cass and Rapunzel who have drifted apart, they’re still close and I’d like to imagine become closer after some time apart and beginning the relationship from a more healthy place like she did with Eugene but in canon I can’t see the two becoming long term even if Eugene wasn’t in the picture. Not because of personality but more of Rapunzel is a princess with a kingdom inheritance and Cass is an adventurer looking to live life and fight crime. If they somehow made it long term you would have to change their status i. e. princess relinquishing her crown and becoming the free spirit she is along with Cass who shares her nature (something that can be found in an au). However I kinda like the angst and the reality of the canon relationship because it’s real and common for her to fall in love with her best friend. Rapunzel would probably never see Cass the way she wants her too which again could lead to some repressed anger and internalized hate, shit I love to see in fics ��, whether it’s because of her love for Eugene or the fact she just doesn’t see her in that light is up for interpretation but Cass will probably always harbor a love for Rapunzel that may subside into knightly protection out of pure affection (romantic or not) but not obligation anymore. It’s hard to describe the love and bond they share because I feel it goes beyond romance and familial love, unlike New Dream which is strictly romantic. But yeah sorry I made it long but basically unrequited works because; angst, repressed feelings, evolving into a deeper relationship, New Dream still canon and in healthy relationship with husband and future healthy relationship with best friend.

tbh i feel pretty strongly that tts wasn’t gaybaiting at all bc like - this is a story with a foregone conclusion we know new dream is going to get together at the end, and there was never remotely anything on or off screen hinting otherwise - none of that creator nudge nudge wink well maybe hinting that characterizes gaybaiting. like for it to be gaybaiting there needs to be a set up of expectation for the fans that a character will be gay or a pairing will happen and then those expectations are not met at the last second and the “gay” character gets fridged or just jammed into a last minute het relationship and then you get the whole rigmarole from the creators of “whaaaat? obviously these characters are all cishet” gkfbfbg

vs what happened with tts where we had this character who was very purposefully lesbian coded by primarily wlw storyboard artists and animators, and while cass being gay was def not chris sonnenburg’s original intention he has pretty openly embraced that reading of her! to the point of literally promoing the cassunzel discord server on his twitter and making a point of explicitly including romantic feelings for rapunzel as a valid reading of her character whilst talking about her etc etc. and there is not a single moment in tts that could plausibly be construed as hetconning cassandra - no rapunzel seems not to reciprocate her romantic feelings, but right through the epilogue there is NOTHING that suggests cassandra doesn’t have romantic feelings. there’s no... slap in the face, you know? it feels to me like tts toed right up to the line of saying it out loud and then flung its arms open and said this is the farthest i’m allowed to go but please close the gap! which is just ye olde classic gay-coding rather than gaybaiting’s overt hostility towards and exploitation of gay fans.

ANYWAY

yeah i like interpreting cassunzel as - cassandra falls hard for this girl but either rapunzel just doesn’t return those feelings or by the time she does cass has already fallen out of those feelings; i feel like i am in the minority in this regard but i actually *DON’T* like the trope of carrying a torch for years and years for someone who doesn’t reciprocate / the sad yearning and pining thing. so i like unrequited cassunzel as something that is rly important for cass emotionally and will always have this significance in her history but also she is naturally on the way out of crushland- definitely by the end of the series and maybe as early as RATGT depending on how i’m feeling ksjfjsk. (or even earlier in bitter snow but bitter snow is a WHOLE other ballgame lmfao). and then building a new, actually healthy friendship with rapunzel is a long endeavor and a heavy lift but she doesn’t have all this. yearning and baggage making it impossible

[tonyglowheart]

@imaginaryelle replied to your post:*me sipping tea* (x)

I would really enjoy seeing more of your thoughts on this, if you ever want to share them.

:’) a lot of my thoughts are salty rants and I’m TGCF on main right now so uhhh not at the moment but if you wanna hmu on like a chat thing of some sort I probably will eventually rant about my dislike of The MXTX Antis and the Problematic Culture people and the purity culture wank :’)

actually you know what, since I’m a parody of myself and I’m like always mood of "and another thing,” I’m just going to. go for it ig

so my biggest thing, is with the MXTX antis/MDZS wank/MXTX wank. is like....god it FRUSTRATES me so fckn much lmfao in so many ways and on so many levels.  like listen. I’m not saying there isn’t stuff to critique in MDZS. But there’s people who are first off: critiquing the writing quality, when I’m like “there’s like a 90% chance you’re reading the EN translation, and probably from ExR, and honestly I know it’s not fandom etiquette to critique fan content bc we’re all doing this for free out of passion, BUT I do, in fact, have some major issues with ExR’s translation quality, and also I lowkey feel like they have a strong traditional yaoi bias and sometimes it leaks through in how they handle certain things.” Big mood of this twitter thread about how when you’re reading in TL you can’t be criticizing the writing bc you’re already reading it filtered��and like. you gotta consider things like the TL’s own personal biases or takes, etc. Which I feel like some people don’t in their critique, or at least they don’t take the time to acknowledge it and instead start spinning off into more and more impassioned reactions to perceived slights or faults.

The other thing is like. I admit when I first read MDZS - which I did while simultaneously watching bc I was kind of using CQL as a vehicle to get into MDZS, I had the HARDEST time trying to read ExR’s translation when I was going into it cold many many many moods ago rip - I was also squicked out by the explicit scenes shown. It did remind me a lot of traditional yaoi tropes, and I wasn’t into it. HOWEVER I was also a psych major, and I want to point out that the T/N’s do read to me as having a strong yaoi bias, and also before ExR redid their site they had large “SERVING YAOI AND BL” banners on EVERY page lol. And I think that also primes people to see things a certain way. (I just. am :/ about ExR also bc like... their whole vibe as a “yaoi scanlator” and also I. can’t be sure the TL wasn’t 17 when they were tl’ing it lmfao,,  and they did the whole rant - which fine they apologized for, but I think sort of reflects on a general attitude still w/ the team - about how some other TL had bad quality or something, but their existing TL has a lot of clunky English phrasing and actually a lot of editing issues, too, I was creating myself a back-up copy from their site and like google docs was already catching a bunch of typos and tense issues and such :’) and that’s beyond clunky EN translation phrasing. I just am like. they have a patreon lol, so I can’t say ExR is doing it wholly not-for-profit/dollars, and also like... it’s not like they’re licensed? I get that within scanlation circles, there’s an etiquette of “first come first serve,” but with translation, I think fans are only served with more translations? but I also care about the original work lol, I mean I get the vanity of “I want MINE to be the AUTHORITATIVE tl” bc I feel that mood too, but also I’m like. fam you didn’t bid for a license lmao.)

But yeah like. My petty gripes with ExR aside lmfao, I think when you look at WangXian, the whole “it’s yaoi tropes” gets really strawman. Like from a Watsonian perspective, I mean like... both WWX and LWJ really ARE useless virgins, lol, WWX’s first kiss was stolen by LWJ and his whole idea of sex comes from porn; LWJ is GusuLan and like. yeah. Who is teaching them about lube? certainly not porn. (but this also gets into the whole. like people saying explicit material is “problematic” because it doesn’t show “realistic” sex and I’m like. fam it’s smut, not a sex manual.) And like... they’re both kinky and WWX has a pregnancy kink, and like... good for them I guess?

From a more Doylist perspective..... I think for me, I’m like. well why not? gay media doesn’t have to be uwu to be “Valid,” and like, the people who start attacking mxtx personally because of the way she chose to write WangXian, or saying she’s homophobic because of WangXian or she doesn’t have the range... I already Know they didn’t read TGCF or SV lol. (and yeah SV is more “problematic” but I also think it’s VERY genre aware and both satirizes and also plays with and subverts some of the typical genre “problematic” things. not everything, but like. again the whole idea that non-mainstream media needs to be held to a higher standard to not be cancelled? I don’t hold by that). [But more on the Doylist thing: it’s dumb to me that people react like it’s a moral failing of non-straight works if they don’t fit EXACTLY their personal idea of what a thing should be. And this comes up EVERY time there’s some new thing. hell it’s not even just lgbt-related stuff; Hamilton, Crazy Rich Asians, etc all had nitpicking. Which again, isn’t invalid! but also like. :/ because we DON’T have enough representation right now to pick, and my take is always: the solution is to get to the point where we can pick and choose and can afford to have bad media just like the straights/whites do :’)]

The thing about WWX and LWJ is neither of them, as they’re written in canon, fit within “traditional yaoi” seme/uke stereotypes. The kiss I see people rail against as “dubcon” and also their sex scenes but I’m like. yeah I think it’s fine to say it’s not your cup of tea but to say that that makes them traditional yaoi rapey tropes I’m like. Fam that’s not it lol. LWJ is shown as being SO incredibly responsive and attentive to WWX’s wishes and desires. I mean that’s examples of his passion exploding out, but we consistently see LWJ being respectful of WWX’s wishes and autonomy even when it like. fucks him/them over :’) like when WWX was so hell-bent on hurtling down the mo’dao route :’)

plus also WWX literally fantasizes about them retiring as farmers and he’s the one out working the fields and LWJ is staying at home weaving lol, like c’mon, ya wanna talk gender roles, let’s talk about this.

the other thing is the whole mxtx anti stuff about “she’s homophobic” and “she’s a filthy fujo” and I think there’s issues that people aren’t considering, which I don’t know as much about but I feel like it informs my consideration of mxtx - such as like... not everyone’s internet is as wide open as, like, the West. I don’t know so much about Chinese censorship other than it exists, but I’m like. I think this would affect people’s access to resources which would inform them about how things work/where people are with LGBT thought? It reminds me of when young tumblr kids trash talk older queer people for using terms they see as “problematic” now, and I’m like “you really gotta pause a moment of (1) have some empathy (2) consider the person’s individual personal and cultural context.” MDZS wasn’t made for a Western audience in mind lol, it’s not going to reflect Western values! And China has a different history with its LGBT progression and it’s m/m media, which I don’t know enough about to comment specifically, but I think it’s incredibly disingenuous to judge it based on Western standards. A lot of people probably don’t realize they are! in that it doesn’t even occur to them, which is why they feel so free with their judgment! But also I’m like. lowkey THAT’s a problem for me bc of like. cultural imperialism lmfao. and also reflective of EN-language imperialism, when people are judging EN tl’s they’re seeing on face value without realizing or considering that they’re...reading... a translation... and that translations are NOT in fact direct one-for-one and that there’s a LOT of considerations that go into both translating and reading a translation of a work.

I think the points antis pull up against MXTX is like... stuff she’s said before in interviews - and I don’t know from when, but I imagine years ago at this point - where she was asked about shipping the other characters in MDZS, and she said something I think about how to her, she wants to write in a way that “preserves realism” or maybe she believes in (I only read a TL of it, so I hold the exact phrasing with a grain of salt), and for her, not everyone is gay so she doesn’t write all of her named characters gay. and I’m like. whatever that’s her prerogative as the author. And I think there’s also something that I don’t know if it’s an official “rules”/”guidelines” she wrote bc again I’ve only seen secondhand/thirdhand sources, but it’s something mxtx-antis also quote, where she said to not break up the main couples and also don’t “reverse” them. but again when we’re getting into the shou/gong dynamics, that’s where I don’t feel comfortable commenting because I don’t know enough about the sociopolitical implications of these terms and how they interact within that fandom/community subset. But I do think people need to be taking the stuff they read - ESPECIALLY if they’re only reading it in EN - with a grain of salt. or like a big ol pinch of it. 

edit: I know more about this now lmao and I know exactly which question people use piecemeal of vilify her. Here’s a recent-ish translation someone did. Read it through - the WHOLE thing, and think about the wider context.

But also in general I just don’t think anyone is valid when we start getting into ad hominems lol. Especially when I feel like they’re not really taking a moment to consider what wider contexts and influences might be at play and instead are playing Tumblr telephone with outrage and virtue signalling

sidebar: I also fucking HATE CQL purists lmfao. I don’t feel like I’ve seen or encountered anyone saying CQL fans are less valid than novel fans except in the sense of CQL fans getting defensive about their dislike of the novel - which, whatever, people have opinions - or decision not to read the novel and saying anyone saying they HAVE to read the novel is gatekeeping - which I hold to less but mostly bc I think it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of fan language, some of us say you HAVE to read it not in a neckbeard way but in a I’m so desperately passionate and I want more people to know about this way, kind of like how the “I hate you” in fan language GENERALLY means “I love it so much and I can’t stand it”? - but I HAVE seen people say the novel “ruined” wangxian, or CQL people who seem to be like... purity-wanking, like idk if you were around but god after Infinity War and the number. of fckn ironstranges. posting in the tags. about “love how healthy our ship is” and I’m like. this is still anti culture/purity wank but the other side of the coin 8). I encounter sometimes this lowkey attitude of CQL (or other adaptations) “redeeming” MDZS from the author, and I’m like. y’all are wack lmfao. There’s people wiht MDZS or even TGCF main, and they hate mxtx? and they say shit like “mdzs was only good on accident”? and I’m like. can you just leave lmfao. if you hate her then why are you here. (bc they’ve mental gymnastics this into a virtue ethics thing about “o the work is good and therefore morally fine but the parts I don’t like are because mxtx is morally bad and unworthy and tainted it, and CQL with its Purity has Redeemed it” but I’m like. this is because of censorship lmao. The team did a FANTASTIC job working the character dynamics and story, but like it also is directly because of censorship.)  

like I... have more thoughts than this lmfao bc ofc I do, but anyway, here’s... some of them lol

[kxhlzn]

for the fandom thingie “ IT “ 🤡 also kassie plz post ur writing im begging u we are starving!!!

BRUH IM SO MAD IT DELETED THE WHOLE POST WHEN I POSTED IT EJDNDJNE UGHHH bouta pop tf off. fuck tumblr that's all.

anywho— im working on fics rn and i also felt that my posting has been dry im so sorry hhh send in some drabble requests and i'll get to them to quench your thirst during the wait! especially stan so i have inspo for the birdwatcher!

The first character I first fell in love with: richie, his humor spoke LOUDLY to the child in me & honestly... legend. but stanley uris has my heart and always will.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: tbh beverly. i say this cuz i expected her to be the stereotypical boring love interest but i was pleasantly surprised! bitch could kick my ass.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: uhh patty uris. everyone has headcanons and shi for her but i just felt she was boring and had less personality than myra in the book and y'all play that woman out to be some horrible beotch ruining the chances for reddie lmfao.

The character I love that everyone else hates: ion think there is anyone. i felt empathy for henry bowers at first bc of the situation w his dad, but it was outweighed by his crazy psychotic tendencies and the amount of hurt he caused ben.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: hhh none?

The character I would totally smooch: all of the losers but most especially stanley ugh he's so amazing 🥺

The character I’d want to be like: beverly and richie! the confidence she has and richie's humor are to die for tbh.

The character I’d slap: henry bowers for what he did to ben, my baby 🥺✊🏻

A pairing that I love: benverly and reddie! i love benverly but tbfh i wasn't a fan of the choice to make ben & bev fall in love AFTER they're adults. i didn't like it was made out to be that bev only fell for him when he lost all the weight and "got hot". plus that bev didn't know he wrote the poem until they were older too. felt like they were saying "hey bev, look, fat kid is hot now! oh! and! he wrote the poem! how awesome is that?" it would've been nice to see a movie where the pretty girl falls for the underdog rather than the plain male lead. yes ik there are movies like that, but the one w an overweight male lead always seem to make the romance happen after they become "attractive". ik they meant well and it was supposed to be a "aw, love waits" kinda thing but it just felt like a step backward for plus sized characters/people.

A pairing that I despise: anything that isn't benverly and reddie! in all seriousness tho, there are aspects of both benverly and reddie i hated. (benverly is discussed above ^^). now reddie: love the pairing, am not a fan of the reddie stans. always feel like they ignore the relationships both characters were in (myra and richie's discussed girlfriend[s]), and claim them as gay. the book implied heavily that richie was bisexual (the book also implies that eddie might have been straight, and reddie could have been unrequited). richie had multiple scenes where he showed interest towards women, including his heavy crush on bev, while also showing an interest towards men (mentioning bill's "broad shoulders"). the reddie fandom always seems to express bisexual erasure towards both characters to favor their ship. i love reddie, but i also love textual evidence and canon. and that's on periodt.

[lesbianfreyja]

she's 18 tho, like im tryin not to hate bc I actually like her music, but I feel that at 18 she should know a little better. . . And I agree, if no one ever tells her anything than how will she learn that what she did isn't cool?

she wasn’t 18 at the time as NUMEROUS people leapt out of the woodwork to tell me. but yeah she should know better either way lmfao even at 17. unless you’re talking about something besides w*sh y*u w*re gay

[lustingtc]

18th November 2019

I got a cat on my back😳a hand on my sack🤫but I’m still gonna write this 🤪✌🏻

My lesson with T was... 😳😳😳

He- 🤢

Omg 🤢🤢

He- as- ohmygod,,, T- he- 🤢🤢🤢

He asked me a question 🤮🤮🤮🤮

First time in the WHOLE YEAR.

Wasn’t even in Spanish 🙄 fucking English question 😰😰😰

Thought we had the

“please don’t talk to me oh god I’m begging please please don’t talk to me even when I’m mentally okay. Please don’t talk to me for the love god PLEASE!”

But. Seems like that went out the window... the mutual understanding for the past 3 years 😔

My mind went blank.

Thank fuck S whispered an answer bc my mind was like

Now playing: Nicki Minaj – Roman Holiday

But his eyes on me and the way he had a hopeful smile of me to answer 🥵🥵🥵🥵💝💞💓💗💖💘💕💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 bby

T showed us where he lived in Spain 😳😳

He lived right by this statue of some famous writer in Spain,,, 🥺🥺👉🏻👈🏻 #summerlove

But hm,, hes lived lik everywhere its so weird😳

ALSO LMAO

T reads books 😳🤮🤮

What a fuckin LOSER! 😂😂😂😂😂

He was like “I hated coming back from work at just staring at a screen, so I read a book. It helps me fall asleep.”

Thanks mate. Now I wanna cuddle up next to u as you read and I’m asleep in ur arms😡😡😌

More evidence T is weeb 😳😳😳

We had this text n it was like “I like reading comic and manga!”

T was like *tips fedora* 🥴🥴🥴🥴

“I know some of you call comics... graphic novels”

MANS KNOW THE WAY TO MY HEART!! 😡😡😡😡 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

But zdyfystidygigufijic

Someone didn’t know what manga was,,

HE WAS THERE LIKE 😵😵

“So...you know anime...it’s like a book version of that...”

He tried to seem super cool 😎 like Yh ik wat an anime is 🤪🤪🤟🏻

YOURE A FUCKING DORK!!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 that has my heart

Tbh I really wanna know what anime n manga he’s into bc he looks like he could b a massive normie OR a massive pervert 🥰🥰🥰🥰

So we love that uwu 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

But,,,, I’m 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Cuz him arms just got me ALLLL kids of wavy man 🥵🥵🥵🥴🥴🥴🥴💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Like they’re so nice 😔😔😔✌🏻 I just want him to hold me w em... is that too much to ask??🥺

Angwho T made us do this task as well,, we all got split down the middle n had to make a sentence. 😴😴😴💅🏻

It was funny as fuck but sosbskanwksnsdmn

We just kept EYE FUCKING!!! 😳😳😳😳

Mans rly got me 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔

N OMG AAAA!!!!

We finished early so everyone was talking n me n S where by the board making worlds outta the shit T had written on the board 😌

T was watching us 😳😳👉🏻👈🏻 italic=span btw

One was like “Ye was behind his ex” n so LMFAOOOOO EATCKBUVHPKO

T was like “Ye? As in Kanye???”

I’m- 💀💀💀💀

T LISTENS TO FUCKING KANYE WEST LMAO

I’m done. I’m out. I’m finished. Cannot do this.

But then another one was like

“Bed is next to the puta”

N T was like 😳😳😳 “Puta?... interesting...” so fxrzhvkbjxtgi T SWORE 😱😱😱😱

I’m 😌😌💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

He’s so special...

Then there was another one like

“Abee... E!” N some reason T was just watching me n S lose our shit over this lmao 🤪🤪🤪✌🏻

Alas. It does not end there.

Dogman I saw looking all smug like usual 🙄🙄

But he walked part this kid n went

“Oi [NAME] thanks for the replay!”

I’m- LMFAO 💀💀💀💀

These men don’t know how to fucking act oh my god okay sis be like that fucking loser

Anywho... P 🥺🥺

The LGBTQ+ club was today and I went n it was aight,,,

P said my ‘shh’ing was very violent 😌😌😌 only for u m’lady 🥺🥺💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Also!!!

The girl who I saw with her after pride was her gf!!! Cuz she was talking abt how she’s also had racial comments directed @ her gf 😔😔😔

Like,,, man she don’t deserve that shit 😡😡

N it turns out her GF is also a science teacher n they met whilst training 🥺🥺🥺💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 THEY’RE SO CUTE!!!💝💞💓💗💖💘

Man fuck I know it’s gay but...

I love her🥺🥺🥺💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

[harrysdimples]

lover first listen

ok just pre-warning u now I didn’t listen to the tracks that have already been released already as singles so some of my thoughts might be bc there wasn’t something else to break up that sound for me. anyway, without further ado: 

1. I forgot that you existed - hmmm not sure how i feel about this intro lol. quite long for such a short song. ok whomever said this was state of grace but pop LIED TO ME and I feel hurt by such a comparison. ‘it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference’ LEGEND. whomst is this about ???? calvin ????? SCREAMING. the verse lyrics are cute but was expecting a bit more production on the chorus? lots of speaking parts which I like. the laughs n stuff are cute and add to the song but still a bit meh for me. not sure if it’s just this low quality of this leak but will probs take a while to come back to this. not my fave but not the worst either. the ‘so yeah’ at the end was iconic.

2. cruel summer - ok, this is supposed to a BOP with a capital B so I have high hopes for this!!! and written by st vincent too!! oh this is cuuuuute! the chorus bumps!!!! wish it was a bit slower/longer though. this is groovy. can imagine vibing whilst driving to this song. THE BRIDGE???? GO OFF HUN??? oooookay this a banger after the chorus. can’t wait for a full high quality version of this. chewn. (also cough i know this is about hiddlestone......and yet.........******) a banger but wish it was just a tad longer, like an extra verse or chorus would’ve made it god tier but still!!! very much like her a lot

3. the man - the production lowkey sounds quite similar to i forgot you existed. the first verse is very much *insert eye emoji here* because she is correct!! hm. not a fan of the prechorus. the chorus is cool though, with that bit towards the end of it too. I’D BE JUST LIKE LEO IN SAINT TROPEZ I SCREAMED. is she swearing ??? I can’t tell if she’s saying picture or not with the quality of this leak ahdsjdsj. this is a chill bop. vibey. 

4. i think he knows - oooookay hun. uuhhhhhh not sure about this one lol. the production is a lil clunky and not the biggest fan of the chorus. the lyrics are.....a choice. bridge is v cute though and the bit afterwards is cool too. not my fave I have to say.

5. miss americana - ooooh this intro ? ooooooh I like this a lot. okay lol i like the verses but the chorus will probably take some time to grow on me. I feel like the verses remind me of something but I can’t put my finger on what. the ‘bad bad girl’ line is a bit cringe but the miss americana and the heartbreak prince bit is cool. really not sure how I feel about this on first listen. the violins!!!!!! love em!!! why isn’t the whole song like that!!!

6. paper hearts - why does the intro sound like something that would be used in gavin & stacey. this sounds like early 2000s british pop punk bands. she’s not holding back on mentioning blue in this album is she?? lol. the chorus lowkey gives me stay x3/youtuber montage vibes lol. the lyrics are cute though. sad I can’t relate afhdsgdsj. love.....wonder what’s that like. it’s cute but not really my vibe.

7. cornelia street - not sure how to describe my feelings towards this lol. half of me likes it and the other half doesn’t afjsks. idk if it’s just me listening to all the songs back to back but this sounds quite similar to other songs on the album already. the bridge (as always) is nice but it leaves something to be desired imo lyrically. the chorus is....idk how I feel about it. this song is a question mark for me rn. i’ll have to listen a couple more times I think.

8. death by a thousand cuts - one of my most anticipated tracks. ok christmas carol intro?? hm. not what I thought the subject was going to be for this song. who is this about??? the bridge is chef’s kiss. it’s cute. will take a couple more listens I think.

9. london boy - idris elba ??? dont remind me of cats taylor. dimples and the accent???? *COUGH* refer to my url please *COUGH* this very much An American(tm) talking about london afhdssdj. this is so very..........how do you do fellow kids.gif but with people from the uk lmfao. this is so funny lmfao. the chorus is cute. this is like if taylor took the top 100 british slang words and challenged herself to write a song mentioning all of them. I mean.....yeah. it’s cute. if a bit cringe as a brit but still. cute.

10. soon you’ll get better - god. here we go. oh fuck. oh shit. im crying. well. that was beautiful. im going to put that in a box to never touch again because if I do I’ll have a breakdown.

11. false god - SAX???? loves IT VERY MUCHLY. like this. I knew I’d like this from the title alone. really like this a lot. up there with cruel summer as my faves from this album so far. really wish she’d experiment with this type of sound a bit more. chef’s kiss of a song.

12. afterglow - ok. taylor. hun. I love you but how many times do u want to mention/reference the word blue in this album lol. I was more hyped for this song considering what the secret sessioners said about it. idk, I felt like this song dragged on a bit, but I think i’ll like it more once I listen outside of the album context and just by itself.

13. it’s nice to have a friend - this is supposed to be the worst song the album judging by secret sessioners? deadass thought she said ‘gay’ at first instead of ‘gave’ adhfghd. this isn’t really going anywhere? it’s a meh. probably could’ve been cut. 

14. daylight - okayyyyy last song on the album. really like this a lot. very noice indeed. :’)))))) let it go indeed. the voice message at the end was very lovely. 

overall - a very mixed album with a couple of songs that I think need to grow on me a bit more before I absolutely love them. favourites on first listen have to be cruel summer, false god, daylight, the archer and lover (already released). listening in full I can’t help but feel the 18 tracks probably could’ve done with a few more tweaks and editing imo, but I’m excited to listen in higher quality. my taylor opinions are always subject to change though, I didn’t like lover (the song) all that much when I first heard it but now I really love it! so we shall see. probably ranks my 3rd-4th fave album from her? 1989, RED, speak now, rep = lover, fearless, self titled is my ranking thus far. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.

[pamayapaya]

That weird het ship circle the straights made for bnha is so bizarre to me, none of them make any sense??

Todo/-\momo is the most boring ship I have ever seen in my life and it has the weakest basis. “Oh they respect each other” well sure but are they actually friends? They’ve spoken like three times? And yet y’all really have the audacity to insist their nonexistent relationship outshines the actual friendships they have with other characters, lmao y’all need to stop it

Ka/-\cchako is so heteronormative I can’t breathe, y’all are my least favorite of the bunch tbh. Like you guys talk so much game about how Bakugo respects Ochako, Ochako is the one who understands Bakugo and will help him, Bakugo and Ochako this and that when none of it is actually canon. You know where all of that is canon? With Bakugo and Kirishima! And don’t even start with the whole “it’s just a preference” bullshit bc that just makes it clear how homophobic you are. Why is it that when Kirishima is the only person Bakugo respects and considers a friend he can trust, it’s 100% platonic but when you THINK he does it with Ochako it’s suddenly the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen? You guys are fucking wild and need to open your goddamn eyes Ochako and Bakugo aren’t even friends, there’s literally like nothing between them.

I don’t even wanna get started on Kiri/-\mina. Why are you guys shipping a guy who is so strongly gay coded with a girl with whom he doesn’t even share a close bond with? Absolutely zero hate to Mina bc it’s not her fault, but she was the source of a lot of Kirishimas insecurities in middle school bc he was always comparing himself to her. It wasn’t “Mina inspiring him” it was Kirishima putting himself down bc of her. And once again, that wasn’t in any way Mina’s fault, but I can’t realistically see Kirishima wanting to date someone who represents such a dark spot of his life.

And then there’s Mido/-\tsuyu. I actually don’t hate this one as much as I do the others. Confession time, I shipped it when I watched the first few episodes of bnha but now that I think back on it, their relationship doesn’t really stand out among the others. Tsuyu interacts far more with Ochako and Mina than she does Izuku (and he’s far closer to Iida and Todoroki than he is to her). Tbh there’s not really anything deeply/morally wrong with this ship it’s just... there’s no special connection or anything between the two characters that suggests they’re romantically compatible. The only thing that really makes me distrust this ship is that the people who ship it like the other ships I named above and I don’t trust that lmfao

[langst-wins]

the last thing i'm gonna say about voltron, unintentional queerbaiting, and major s8 plotholes, and then imma shut up and let y'all be free from my long bitch ass s8 posts so we can get back to regularly scheduled klance fanfics & fanarts

yes, they queerbaited us with shiro as rep. not in the sense that he wasn't queer but in the sense that they hyped us up for his relationship with adam, made us think we were gonna see an adashi reunion, and we ended up getting like 90 seconds top of LGBT content over the entire series.

no, I highly doubt they did it intentionally. yes, they did admit they fucked up and apologized several times. yes, I appreciate the apology and I understand that they're human beings and people make mistakes and overlook things sometimes. like they said, they never meant to make anyone feel baited. they really thought they were going to get a good response. lauren called voltron a "learning experience" in the open letter to the fandom after s7. I think she meant learning experience in general ofc but I think she also meant they've learned how to and how not to do LGBT rep in a show.

but I will absolutely be taking any promises of LGBT rep from lm and jds with a grain of salt. i will absolutely be watching their future works from afar and not getting myself too invested until the series ends and I can watch it as a whole while knowing what to expect.

I dont think they MEANT harm but y'all...they fucked up. they know it, and they apologized. it shows maturity that they apologized in that open letter after s7 and at the final nycc panel, and again, I appreciate that.

but I would rather they have not said anything about LGBT rep, ever, and just let gay shiro be a nice surprise. then, the minimal rep we received would have been wonderful and a nice warm surprise instead of a huge disappointment. it was only a disappointment because it didn't live up to the hype they made for it. and I know the hype was partially due to marketing they had no control over, but it was absolutely partially them, too.

they didn't promise LGBT content in LoK and canon korrassami ended up being a nice surprise even though it was minimal. that was how they SHOULD have done shiro's sexuality if they knew it was going to be a small thing. I would rather they have kept their lips zipped about LGBT, not announced gay shiro ahead of time, and just it be what it was when seasons 7 and 8 came out.

again, I dont think the bait was intentional, but it was bait all the same.

you are not crazy or too sensitive if your feelings are hurt/you feel baited by this show. you are not a shitty person if you just dont trust them right now. dont let people tell you otherwise. it's okay to take a step back from their work and wait to see how their next show plays out before you get involved.

i really do love voltron, even though s8 was confusing af, seasons 1-7 were LIT. I enjoy bits and pieces of s8 but mostly it was a let down. not only because of rep, just because a lot of things didn't make sense to me and a lot of the problem solving just felt way too convenient.

like I feel like every conflict in the plot was resolved way too easily and/or in ways that didnt make sense. and I feel like most of the characters' futures in the credits didnt really match up to those characters personalities. specifically lance, hunk, and keith.

lance staying on earth with his family, spreading allura's message to carry on her legacy? makes perfect sense, valid af. lance becoming a farmer? not so much. I feel like he would have been better suited as teaching classes as a pilot instructor at the garrison or smth similar. altean lance still gave me whiplash and left me confused af but he looks so damn 👌👌👀👀🙌🙌😭 with his cute ass altean marks that I'm just gonna let that one go for the sake of aesthetic.

hunk becoming a chef? not ooc necessarily but I feel like he would have been better suited as a diplomat. y'know. ambassador to earth sort of thing.

keith aiding in recovery efforts and being a humanitarian (...alien-itarian...? idk). okay let's be real we all knew this edgy boi has a soft ass heart. I think hes just mature enough now to let his walls come down and not be afraid of caring ig. which is sweet and nice and all. but I feel like he wouldnt...JUST be doing that. like he would still want the battle and the adrenaline and the badass mf fight sequences. that's kinda his Thing.

shiro marrying a rando? I would have preferred adam to not die and them end up getting back together once shiro returned to earth. i just feel like there was no reason to kill off adam? shiro has already suffered so much, what was the point? but i'm not gonna hate on curtis bc we dont know jackshit about him and for all we know he could be a bombass dude. shiro looked happy tho and it's better than him being forever alone so I can hesitantly accept that ig. but on one condition and one condition only: their ship name must be shirts. if their ship name is not shirts then I dont want it

allura's death was pointless. i havent seen anyone disagree with this one so far. her life was full of suffering and then she died. like can we all just agree she was done dirty and it was entirely unnecessary.

dont come @ me with "you just dont like s8 bc your ship wasnt canon"

that's not it at all.

they could have made this season so amazing and still not have made klance canon. they could have left me disappointed in no klance but still happy because the finale made my heart go dynamite BOOM. I could have ended the last episode with no canon klance and still been smiling because the plot was bitchin' and the characters were all alive and happy.

but they didnt, so I wasnt. it just...wasnt a good season. it had good aspects, yes, but as a whole? meh.

season 8 was poorly handled. it really was. it had so much potential to end with EVERY character having a positive ending and still have an actual satisfying conclusion to the war. I know they wanted to show how heavy and serious and heartbreaking the war actually was, but you can make an emotional, heavy finale without killing off a main character and leaving her main character love interest lonely and grieving. like im sorry killing allura and leaving lance sad and lonely was not necessary at all to the plot it just flat out wasnt. they did those characters dirty and they did allurance shippers even dirtier.

allurancers cheered seeing their ship canon then had it ripped out from under them and my heart honestly grieves worse for my allurance and allura stan fam than my klance fam. they did y'all so wrong and i'm sorry it had to go down like that.

sheith shippers got fucked over when all that development and relationship and growth culminated into basically nothing in the final season. like as a broganes stan even i was taken aback by the sudden radio silence between them so I cant imagine how let down actual sheith shippers feel.

us adashi shippers? obvious. adam's death was not necessary. and dont tell me it was to show the heaviness and realness of death in war because vld does NOT have a track record of dead characters staying dead. they could have at least gave us some mild development with shirts (lmfao im so sorry but shirts) and let us see more of curtis as a character. like...literally just two 60 second scenes would have been nice. they could have easily fit that in.

us klancers got fucked over by unnecessary parallels to canon ships. they could have made it a cute platonic friendship in s8 and let us enjoy it and proceed to enjoy fanon klance without all those blatant parallels to shay/hunk that just left us confused. and the parallels in earlier seasons. like why did you have to make so many parallels to romantic moments and romantic tropes if it was platonic. why did you have to go and do that. what was the point.

s8 could have ended in such a way that shippers of every ship in the fandom were satisfied with the finale because their faves were treated right and the plot was fire. it had so much potential in the first half and could have been so damn good.

it wasnt though. the entire thing was so confusing and nothing about it felt like vld. It feels like a spin off or a reboot. I dont like s8 as a whole and I doubt I ever will. it might grow on me in time but I'll never fully like it, y'know. everything about it felt so tilted and off and just wrong.

but it really just be like that sometimes ig.