#but she has all the fucking contact info locked away and won’t give addresses to me besides the few numbers i have

[consulaaris]

incredibly stressed n tired n been on the verge of tears for most of the day but i truly just do not want to exist for a couple of weeks lol

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 37 Pt 1

She woke to Gustaf tangled with her, his ridiculously long legs wrapped around hers, arms cradling her body against his like she was the most precious thing in the world. His face mirrored the peace he’d found in sleep with her last night. She knew what she had to do today, the restraining orders wouldn’t take much, but it would drag up toxic emotions for him and shove it firmly down his throat. Her only hope was that she could lessen the blow, offer him some level of protection. One day she thought as he trailed a finger down his jaw before fanning her fingers out over his chest, one day you’ll be free of her.

Her kiss, soft and tender, brought him to the surface, that curvy body entwined with his. “Mine.” He growled sleepily, his hold on her tightening, her quiet chuckle against his lips making him smirk. “All mine.” He breathed as he deepened the kiss, she was his kryptonite.

“I need to pee.” She chuckled. “And make some calls.” She didn’t want to elaborate and drag Ana into their bed, but she needed to get the ball rolling.

“Come back to bed after?” He mumbled into her hair still half asleep, the scent of her intoxicating as he nuzzled her neck.

“I’ll bring food.” She murmured.

“As long as you come with the food, I don’t care. I want you in bed with me all day.” His knuckles brushed her cheek and those eyes of glacial blue locked onto his. “I love you.” He said softly, his tone carried all the love he had for her.

“I know you do. I love you too, but I have to pee or it’s gonna get messy in here in a very unpleasant way.” She chuckled, kissing him chastely as he untangled his limbs from around her.

He’d drifted back to sleep by the time she’d donned her robe and walked out to the kitchen. Dragging her laptop from her office to sit on the kitchen island she started to organize her thoughts as the kettle boiled. Tea and notes, then phone calls.

She paced as she spoke to the police, seethed as they told her their investigation had stalled.

“You’ll have the paperwork to formally press charges by this afternoon.” She snapped. “You’re damn right we intend to. Now do your damn job and find her.”

He woke with a start at her tone, that ice cold fury unleashed on some unsuspecting soul. On any other day he’d revel in the lawyer surfacing, today it made his gut plummet. “Fucking Ana.” He sighed and punched the pillow. He could hear the anguish in her voice, the fear that the kids were in danger.

“I’m also serving her with a restraining order, several in fact, and accompanying injunctions. I have four children detective, I’m not giving her the chance to come after one of them, because if that happens from your departments lack of action, believe me when I tell you, this conversation will feel like I’ve congratulated you on the happiest day of your life.”

He couldn’t help the smirk, damn she was sexy as fuck when the lawyer came out to play. “Though she’s not playing this time around.” He murmured and continued to listen to her set the detective straight about how this was all going to happen.

“Put detective Leon Holmberg on the phone, right now.” She snapped, on her last fucking nerve. “I’ll wait.” She added sternly while he finished up whatever call he was on.

“Asshole.” She spat as the call was transferred. He wasn’t really, she was just pissed and emotional. Sure he was doing his job and she was emotionally invested in this, but stonewalling her wasn’t going to fly on any case, especially a personal one.

“Sildie? Sorry for the wait.” Leon’s gruff voice sounded as she sent an email off.

“It’s fine Leon, I just don’t appreciate the bullshit from your associate.” Her and Leon had crossed paths a few time in court with various cases, they were both straight shooters and got along well.

“He’s green, oh so green.” He chuckled. “Though your tongue lashing might have knocked some of that off him. He’ll learn. God were we ever that young?”

“Maybe twenty years ago.” She snorted. “And he’ll learn that stonewalling me isn’t in his best interest. Even when I’m not working.” She sniped. “Can you give me an update?”

“Sure. We visited her apartment last night once we were done at your door, she wasn’t home, so we visited her boyfriends apartment. He was there, she wasn’t. He was high and there was also a large quantity of drugs on his table in plain sight which he denies purchasing, they’re at the lab for forensics. If her prints are on it we’ll pick her up again.” She focused on what he was saying and added it all to her notes, fingers flying over the keyboard. “As for the tagging of your doors, we can charge them both as I said last night to Gustaf, nothing much will come of it, maybe a fine, but it’ll be documented.”

“Charge them both.” She said bluntly, no fucks given at how pissed she sounded at this point. “It’ll be enough to slap her with restraining orders and injunctions. I need to keep her away from Gustaf and away from our kids.”

He choked up a little, she was protecting him, fighting for him, for them. Our kids, Gustaf’s grin bloomed, he liked the sound of that, our kids, not hers, ours.

“I’ll send you over the police report, any findings. Are you filing yourself?”

“I’ll probably get Elsa to file on our behalf, she knows the kids and history which makes it easier. I’m too close to this to keep a level head. Gustaf has his own team of lawyers so I’ll talk to him and see what he wants to do.” She sighed.

“I’m going to head back to her place and try to track her down later today, I’ll up the urgency as much as I can. It’ll help once the orders and injunctions are in place, send me a copy as soon as they’re filed. I might be able to sit someone on her for a few days. I’m sorry there isn’t more I can get her on at the moment.”

“Give it time.” She muttered. “She’ll come at me again I’m sure.”

“People like that usually don’t stop or change.” He said softly. “Just be careful.”

“Plan on it. Thanks for the update and keep me in the loop?” She asked.

“Of course. I’ll email the reports over in about twenty.”

“Sounds good. Thanks Leon. I appreciate everything you can do.” She hung up and sighed, scrubbing a hand over her face. Taking a few deep breaths she got her thoughts down, and started making breakfast. As she put the bacon in the oven she called Elsa. Dana’s partner picked up on the third ring with a cautious hello.

“Elsa, hey it’s Sildie.”

“Everything ok?”

“Sort of, the kids are fine, but we had an incident at Gustaf’s apartment, and mine.”

“What’s going on?”

He could hear her on the phone, laying out the entire situation from the office Christmas party, to Lucas’s visit, to the tagging of their front doors. Who was she speaking to now, he wondered?

“Can I make a suggestion?” Elsa asked, all business.

“Anything at this point. Just tell me I’m not overreacting.” She sighed pinching the bridge of her nose near her eyes to relieve the headache she could feel brewing.

“File the restraining orders, the injunctions, they probably won’t do much to deter her, but at least it’ll go on her record if she confronts you. I suggest Gustaf do the same, I’ll draw it up for him to save time. Have him send me his lawyers contact info and I’ll keep them in the loop. Once yours is filed I’ll file for the kids. I’m with you on that Sildie, let’s get them protected just in case.”

“Can you have them to me by today?” She chewed on her bottom lip, the anxiety building. “I know it’s the holidays but...”

“Give me a couple of hours and I’ll email it over. Once you’re both happy with them I’ll file it electronically and they can serve her with them this afternoon.” Elsa cut in. “It’s no issue Sildie.”

“I just got off the phone with the detective, they’ll need a copy too.” She said softly and relayed her conversation to get Elsa up to speed. “I’m so fucking angry. We’ve worked hard to get the kids settled, moved in together, fought hard to get through all her shit, he doesn’t need this Elsa, none of them do.”

“I don’t blame you, I’d be pissed too and you don’t need this either Sildie. You’ve gone through enough shit in the past year yourself. I’d call Lindstrom, and Lucas. I don’t think this will help his case, but it could add weight if the drugs have her prints and especially if the drugs are the same chemical signature as the ones Lucas found in his apartment.” Elsa let the silence linger giving Sildie a moment to think.

“He’s my next call. I’ll send you over a cease and desist and let’s add that to the injunction.” She chewed on her bottom lips and let the case fall into place in her mind. “It’ll need to include Gustaf’s family as well, mother, father, all his siblings. I need them all covered. Eija and Alex are in this mess as well if she goes that far.”

“Done, we can file it all together, cake walk.” Elsa said taking more notes as Sildie rattled off the full names of each sibling and their addresses.

He lay there thinking over what he’d just heard. His goddess protecting everything and everyone he loved, those that was dear to him. “What did I do to deserve you lovely lady?” He mumbled, in awe of the woman he’d fallen so hard for.

“I want to hit her with it all, I’m not fucking around and I want it made perfectly clear I will not put up with her shit.” She growled, her mind was made up, all or nothing, she had a family to protect and a sweet man that had worked too damn hard for a measure of peace.

He knew that tone and quietly got up, pulling some sweats on before shuffling out to the kitchen. She was riding on fury, the seething anger fueling her determination to stitch this up tight, the underlying emotion ready to tear her apart when she was done.

“Give me until one Sildie and I’ll call you once I’ve sent it over.”

“Thanks Elsa, sorry to ruin your new year so quickly.” Her eyes flicked to Gustaf and away again as she paced the room. So angry, he thought, this was nothing like the night she’d ripped into him in his workout room, or when she got drunk outside her apartment, this was a whole other level of supremely fucked off.

“There nothing I won’t do to protect Dana’s kids, or you. We’ll keep them safe.”

“I owe you one.”

“Girls night out sometime, I miss that.” Elsa chuckled.

“Done. Thanks again.” Her smile lightened his concern a little, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Anytime Sildie, and I mean that. You could have called last night and I would have answered.”

Sildie chuckled. “I was still processing it. Bye for now.” She knew he’d been there for the last part of the conversation and she sighed out the tension as his arms wrapped around her.

“Everything ok?”

“It will be. I have paperwork in process and I need your lawyers information.” She turned to kiss him. “Elsa will do up a restraining order and injunction for you and your family and have your team look over it before filing.”

“Looking after me?” He said gently.

“Damn right I’m looking after you.” She muttered as his mouth claimed that one spot on her neck.

“I like it when you look after me, get all feisty.” She could feel the smirk against her skin, he was trying to get her to relax, take her mind off it.

“And what are you doing out of bed? I told you to stay there so I could bring you food.” She flicked his nose before kissing him with a slight smile. Her attempt at hiding the anger was a good effort, but he saw it for what it was, she was scared.

“I heard your tone change.” He said gently. “I wanted to make sure you’re ok.” He could hear the stress and anxiety in her voice and knew she’d need to release it and soon before the anxiety pushed her into a panic attack.

“I’ll be better when I have shit in place that clearly states. Don’t fuck with me and mine.” She tapped his arm as the timer went off to pull the bacon out of the oven. “I have to call Lindstrom and Lucas in a bit too. I don’t know if this will help his case any, but they need to know.” She turned the pan on to make scrambled eggs and let the task calm her.

He let her talk, the more she was talking about it the less she was holding in, they were a team and even though they were still finding their feet as a couple, this was what built trust and dependability, they were there for each other tackling shit together.

“So because it’s an isolated incident they may not be able to use it?” He asked trying to understand how it all worked.

“Exactly. It has nothing to do with Lucas, but, if the drugs in the dudes apartment have her prints, same chemical makeup, it could help their case. It’s a pattern.”

“It was a stupid move on her part.” He muttered. “Letting herself be seen.”

“It was, but I don’t think she knew we had cameras installed.” Sildie said honestly.

“And I don’t think she knows what she’s up against with you love. Most people back down and can’t be bothered with the hassle of going to the police, so she gets away with it. I’m guilty of doing exactly that, I just kicked her out I didn’t call the police on her. Not you though, you’re like a fucking pitt bull.” He chuckled.

“I can’t watch her fuck with you again.” She said quietly, her tone quivering. “And she sure as shit doesn’t get to fuck with our kids.” She spat.

“No, she doesn’t. Is there anything I can do? Need to do to help this along? Anything?” He said tenderly, fingers stroking her cheek.

She shook her head. “No, just your lawyers info and let me handle her.” She busied plating the eggs and stacked the bacon beside it. “If they establish a pattern with her purchasing drugs it could drag you into it.” She said quietly and felt like she’d kicked a puppy when she looked at him.

“Shit.” He felt like the floor had dropped out from beneath him.

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I don’t know if that’s her plan, but it’s a possibility and I don’t want it to blindside you.” She kissed him tenderly. “Talk to your lawyers.” She said bluntly. “I’m absolutely serious.” She added when he snorted. “I’m talking to Lindstrom here in a bit and I’ll be asking him to represent you if things go pear shaped.”

“You seriously think it could go that far?” He asked, a touch of fear edging his voice.

“If, and that’s a big if, if they establish pattern they can charge her with more. It becomes trafficking which is a heftier charge. I’d have to look it up, but it adds weight against her case and in favor for Lucas’s. If they establish pattern and look deeper they could look at your relationship with her, same pattern. You found drugs she’d purchased and kicked her out. What about the person before you, and before them? Same deal I suspect. Just be prepared ok?”

“I didn’t even think of that.” He said slightly stunned.

“I don’t know what her end game is love. I can only give you plausible worst case scenarios with evidence that may not be viable. I don’t know whether it’s to bring you down, smear you across the media, or to get back at me for calling her out on her shit at the Christmas party, but I’m not going to see you dragged into a fight blindly.” She picked up a piece of bacon and nibbled, her mind chewing over everything, the fury still rolling off her in waves. “And you sure as shit aren’t facing her on your own.”

“I’m sorry love.” He murmured and kissed her temple drawing her close.

”No, you don’t get to apologize for her either. This is shitty, but I’m not going to stand by and watch her try to destroy you again. She picked the wrong bitch to fuck with this time.” She was so angry, more out of fear for Gustaf and the kids than herself. “Sorry. I don’t mean to snarl and snipe at you, I’m just so fucking livid.”

“I know.” He kissed her brow again. “Let it go now.” He murmured. “Together love.” He said softly, his fingers toying with her wisps of hair at her cheek. “Let it go.”

“I know.” She sighed and felt the fight drain from her as he kissed her brow and lingered. “I know.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Fuck this blows.” She huffed.

“Yeah, but you were right with what you said last night. We can’t let her get between us or let her win, she’s a blip. We deal with the blip and move on with what we’re doing, our life. Together.” He put the kettle on to boil as they stood and ate the rest of their meal at the kitchen counter, she was too agitated to sit still. Once the tea was made and she’d eaten half of her plate he pulled her to him. “Do what you need to do, then let it be for the day, because then I want to take you back to bed and finish what we started last night.” He growled as he nuzzled her neck.

Her giggle lightened his heart. “You’re right.” She kissed him sinfully, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Let me make some calls and then we can let it go for the day.”

“That’s my girl.” He purred, mouth savaging hers. She left the comfort of his arms to walk toward her office, the nibble of her bottom lip more out of being lost in thought of her upcoming conversation than teasing, the smack to her ass however was firm enough to sting. “Don’t push your luck kitten.” He growled. She sent him a wicked smirk and her thoughts seemed to change mid stride.

She was sure he was going to spank her last night but didn’t, understandibly, would he do it today? “Fuck I hope so.” She sighed to herself as she sat at her desk and turned her computer on. She could do with some borderline pleasurable pain to get over whatever this was she was feeling. Anger, resentment, fury, rage, guilt, grief, jealousy, all of the above, she thought. It was the jealousy that unnerved her, such an ugly emotion and she was better than that.

She made her own notes, her own case file, documenting everything that happened and the steps she’d taken to protect her family. Her family, she thought and her fingers stopped over the keys as she looked at the digital photo frame of the six of them, the only family she had left. She would protect them the only way she knew how, with the law. She’d fought for the kids before and she’d fight for Gustaf and his family too.

He left her to work knowing that if he interrupted her now he’d get the lawyer land stare. She had a process, and a need to make this right, to protect him, to protect the kids in her own way. Pulling the gloves on he worked the bag, his own need to process his thoughts, he needed the physical exertion. Letting the events of last night play in his mind he dealt with the anger and frustration that came with it, pounding the bag mercilessly until his muscles begged him to stop. He felt better for it once he sat for meditation, the calm washing over him and filling him much quicker and easier now he’d put it in its place. The process had become easier since Sildie, the calm he found with her. She was right, he’d come too far to let minor shit with Ana get in his head and fuck with him. And this was minor shit, an inconvenience, a blip.

She could hear him in his workout room as she put the kettle on to boil and decided to leave him be. The door was open and he wasn’t shutting her out, he was processing last night just as she had been doing as she worked. He’d come to her when he was done and knew his mindset would be better for it. Taking the fresh pot of tea to her office she sat and called Lucas.

“Sildie? Hi, happy new year.” Lucas said brightly, but she could hear the uncertainty in his voice, probably wondering why she was calling him.

“Hey, happy new year.” She tried to sound cheerful and failed.

“Everything ok?”

“Not really, no. You got a minute to chat?” She chewed on her lip.

“Of course, what’s going on?” His tone became instantly concerned.

She relayed the events of last night, the paperwork she’d already filed and scrubbed a hand over her face. “I don’t know where that leaves you, or how it affects you, but I wanted you to know.”

“Shit.” He sighed out. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault, you’re not responsible for her actions.” She said a little too harshly and was sure he’d flinched at her tone. “Sorry, I’m a little pissy.” She added hearing her abrasive tone and took a breath.

“I know, I just... you know what I mean. I’m surprised you haven’t hit nuclear yet.” He said huffing a chuckle.

“I’m working on it.” She snorted.

“Definitely call Lindstrom. I’ll catch him up on most of it tomorrow when we discuss charges of my own against her for the funds she stole, but he’ll want to hear it from you.” Lucas added.

“I need to talk to him about another matter too.” She said and told him her theory and possible pattern of behavior landing Gustaf in the hot seat. “I’ll copy you on our case, in the event it helps yours.”

“Shit Sildie, I didn’t even think of that. What are you guys going to do?” He asked.

“Let it play out for now. I want Lindstrom in our corner if it goes south. If she comes for me again we’re protected, law wise, other than that there’s not much more I can do.”

“Good plan. How did she get into the building, I thought they had it locked down?” He asked as she poured her tea.

“Her newest squeeze lives downstairs.” She told him of her conversation with Leon. “I know it’s petty but she’s due for some fucking karma.” She sighed out sipping her tea. “I just want her gone from our lives.”

“God yes, you and me both. Leon’s a good guy, he’ll keep it active.” She could hear the honesty in his voice.

“You holding up ok?” She asked sipping her tea.

“Yeah. It looks as though they’re not going to charge me. She tried to cover her tracks, but didn’t do a very good job of it. I’m about to have it out with the bank. It just adds more weight, you know how it is. Slow and methodical, build the case.”

“Good luck with the bank. Knowing her she had a whole cocked up sob story to get her whatever her little black heart desired.” Sildie snarked, god she was in such a pissy mood as she heard her tone.

“No doubt.”

“Anyway, I gotta run.” She said as Gustaf appeared in the doorway, empty cup in hand searching for the teapot. “I just wanted you to know what she was up to.”

“I appreciate it Sildie. Call Lindstrom he’ll want to know.”

“Sounds good, take care.”

“You too.”

She hung up and blew a breath out, scrubbing a hand over her face. “Fuck me I want to hunt that bitch down and end her myself right the fuck now.” She huffed and let it go, she had to or it would eat her alive. Too fucking late she thought, she was irritable and on edge, and it made her twitchy. She hated twitchy.

“She’ll get what she’s owed love, in spades.” He said softly as he placed his hands on the arms of her chair and leaned in to kiss her sweetly. He hated seeing her like this. “You’ll end her your own way, with the law behind you.” He kissed her again. “What else is bothering you love?”

“I don’t know.” She said quickly, a little too quickly, but she was telling the truth, she didn’t know what was up today. Was it Ana, last night with his family, remnants of the move, Christmas, she wondered? It was like someone had shaken up a hornets nest and made her swallow it whole.

“I don’t like seeing you on edge like this.” He said gently.

“I don’t like being on edge, but I am, and I don’t know why.” Her voice cracked as a surge of unwelcome emotion threatened to consume her.

He kissed her tenderly. “Are you done for the day?” He asked, lips ghosting hers. He wanted to take care of her, soothe her and help her to find the release she needed to deal with whatever this emotion was that had her so worked up. That was the one thing he could give her, the sex that set her free, that allowed her to let go of the control and rid herself of whatever it was smothering her, suffocating her.

“I just have to wait for Elsa to call me back at one and I need to email Lindstrom. There’s not much he can do today that can’t wait until he’s back in the office, but I want it there in his inbox first thing when Lucas talks to him.” She murmured relaxing back and letting him slowly devour her mouth. Her phone rang and she smirked against his lips. “It must be one.”

“Must be. Come back to bed when you’re done love.” He said, the hint of demand lacing his words, it wasn’t a request. He would set her free on another level, and she needed it, he thought.

“Hi Elsa.” She said answering the call and watching him as he walked to the door. She bit her bottom lip as he turned to look at her, the heated desire in his glare spoke volumes.

That look from under her lashes and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth was enough to send his arousal into the stratosphere. With a deep rumbling snarl he stalked to the bedroom and set his plan in motion.

“Thanks Elsa. I’ll sign these and get them straight back to you.” She said with a steady breath.

“I’ll have them served this afternoon.”

“You’re the best.” She breathed a sigh of relief, she’d done all she could today to make sure they were safe yet she felt it wasn’t enough.

“I’ve sent a copy to Gustaf’s team, but his isn’t as urgent as yours and the kids. Yours will cover his apartment because that’s where you’re living. I’ve covered all the bases with the injunction and your cease and desist is perfect, I can have that cover Gustaf and his family as well, I’ll modify it to fit.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’ll call you next week, I have to run.” Elsa chuckled when her four year old screamed from the other room.

“No problem and thanks again Elsa.”

“You bet.”

She read and signed each order and emailed it back to Elsa, the weight lifting from her shoulders the moment she hit send. “I’ve done all I can do.” She breathed out shakily. “Now we let it be.” She huffed a breath out. “Yeah... right.” Yes she’d taken it as far as she could legally take it by protecting Gustaf’s family, but there was always the what if. She thought of Eija and Alex in particular and knew she now had to give them a heads up. “It never fucking ends.” She growled and scrubbed a hand over her face.

She took the teapot to the kitchen and rinsed it out.

“Hey can you text me the phone numbers for Eija and Alex?” She asked Gustaf as he walked into the kitchen.

“Sure, everything ok?” He asked as he’d come into the kitchen to talk to her about the kids and was completely thrown off by her request.

“Yeah, or it will be. I had the restraining orders against Ana include your family. They all need to know if Ana contacts them in any way they need to call the police and file a complaint.”

“Well shit.” He sighed.

“Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass, but this is how you build a case. Every time she contacts someone with a restraining order it goes in her file and won’t look so good with those sorts of violations on her record when she goes to court.”

He hastily texted her the numbers she requested and added Sam, and Valter. “Text them all, it’ll be better coming from you, I’ll only fuck up the wording.” He snorted, it was the truth.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. This is your realm love not mine, but I’ll back you up all the way.” He kissed her tenderly. “Dad and Megan texted, which is why I came out here. They’re taking the kids to a movie and bowling.” He said as he turned her in his arms to nibble her neck. “And they’re keeping the kids tonight as well.” His father had offered once Gustaf had told him of their welcome home present last night. They both needed another night and the kids were happy spending time with grandpa.

“Oh, they... ok.” She stammered, she felt her gut sink suddenly, that jealousy churning inside her. Would they be ok was her first thought and then scolded herself for being so silly. Of course they’ll be ok, she snapped at herself silently. The jealousy was another matter, it sat heavy inside her like a greasy taint.

“You’re not ok with it?” He shook his head, he should have cleared it with her first. I’m an idiot, he swore silently, such an idiot.

“No, I’m fine with it, just wasn’t expecting... never mind.” She shook her head, she couldn’t let her emotions cloud the fact the kids now had a family that cared, to give them what she missed out on. That wasn’t fair on them and she wouldn’t be that person. “It’s a good thing.” She had to give a little here, Gustaf should make decisions for them as well, she knew he had their best interests at heart. It was all just happening at an alarming rate and she wasn’t sure she was handling it all very well. Let’s be real, she scoffed internally, you’re not handling any of this well.

“As long as you’re fine with it. I’ll ask next time.” He mentally kicked himself again for not asking in the first place.

“No it’s ok, I trust you with them love, I just need to relinquish control and I’m just... pissy.” She snarked at herself. “I’m trying, but you know me, control freak extraordinaire.” She snapped.

“I know you’re trying love. He offered and I thought it would be nice for them and for us.” He wanted to make her feel less of the stress she was currently burdened with. This was so much more than Ana, more than Quinn.

“I’m sorry, I’m on edge and irritated at everything. I need to text your family.” Her tone was abrasive as she pulled away from him to go do exactly what she’d said.

He knew her mood wasn’t because of him, but it stung, it hurt to see her wrestling something he couldn’t see, couldn’t fix, and her not being able to voice it made it that much worse. Was it last night, he wondered, the jealousy she’d felt? It was a deeper emotion, something that had surged forward along with everything else. “My love.” He muttered as she stomped away. “How do I help you?” His text tone chimed and he read it as she wandered back into the kitchen. He gave her room, some space to digest events, her own emotions.

Hi Everyone

Her text read.

Gustaf and I will chat with you all later in the week to give you the details, but so you are aware, due to an incident at our home last night we have a restraining order out against Ana. The order lists all of you, so if she contacts you in any way please contact the police and file a report. Please have them attach it to the following: Restraining Order #936358-ND-65. Attention: Detective Leon Holmberg. If she contacts you say nothing other than “you are violating your restraining order, I can’t talk to you” and walk away or hang up, do not engage her in conversation in any manner even if she continues to follow you, talk, or harass you. The order is for your protection, please use it. I’ll email you copies and further instruction once the paperwork is served on her this afternoon. Please keep that in mind the more she contacts you the worse it is for her providing you file the report and don’t retaliate.

His phone rang a moment later and he smirked as Eija’s number came on the screen.

“What’s up nugget?” He said cheerily and saw the quick smile on Sildie’s face at his endearment.

“What’s up? Really Goose? Your girlfriend sends me a text saying all hell broke loose last night and you ask me what’s up? You fucker, why didn’t you call me?” Her tone dripping with sarcasm. “You guys ok?”

“Were fine.” He said gently as he watched Sildie pace, it was eating at her.

“Put me on speaker.” He did as she asked and pulled Sildie to him, anything to calm the raging storm under her skin.

“Hi Eija.” Sildie said softly.

“Hi back. What the fuck happened?” Sildie appreciated Eija, blunt and to the point much like she was. Gustaf relayed the events of the evening sensing Sildie was over talking to people about this for the day, it was his family after all and he needed to pick up the slack.

“Sildie you need anything from me you call ok?” Eija said fiercely. “I don’t give a fuck about what time it is or what I’m in the middle of, where you or the kids are, you need me, you fucking call.”

“Thanks Eija.” She smiled, the feeling of being accepted by his family choking her up. How did she deserve this, deserve them? Family pulls together when something happens, protects each other, this was so new for her. Hadn’t Stellan said the exact same thing to her last night?

Gustaf fielded calls from all his siblings and finally his mother as Sildie sipped her tea and zoned out. He’d only heard his mother get angry a few times in her life, but she was beyond livid, not at Sildie, or at him, angry at the situation and the potential harm it could do to her kids, her family. He promised to call her later in the week, to come over for lunch.

“Your dad texted me back letting me know the kids are safe and will continue to be.” She said softly still staring at her phone. How did she process such love from a family that barely knew her, a family that accepted her so openly and unconditionally?

“He’ll keep them safe love.” He murmured, bundling her into his arms. “My dad is a force to be reckoned with when he’s angry, especially if it involves his kids, or in this case, his grand kids.” He kissed her gently and looked at her slightly perplexed when she pulled away to pace. She was agitated, still on edge and he was at a loss as to why. He watched her take her laptop back to her office and disappear.

“My love, how do I help you when you push me away?” He sighed and went to the bedroom, knowing she was compartmentalizing to get through this shit storm before falling apart. She had the email to write to Lindstrom and once that was done he’d see to it that she relaxed and decompressed.

She typed furiously as the letter to Lindstrom flowed easily. Laying out their case, the possibility of pattern behavior, Gustaf, Lucas, her kids. She choked and sucked a shuddered breath in. Her limit of holding back her anxiety had almost reach critical mass for the day and knew once the letter was sent her system was going to freak the fuck out and own her ass. After sending the email to Lindstrom, she sent emails to Oliver, Daisy, the school, and daycare, hockey, soccer, covered all bases. She knew she was being overly cautious. “Better than the alternative.” She muttered.

Gustaf was nowhere to be found in the main living area when she eventually emerged from her office, her laptop now closed, paperwork neatly stacked. Coming into the bedroom she could hear water running from the en-suite and figured he was taking a shower. He must be so upset with me, she thought. Her behavior wasn’t exactly pleasant today, she’d snapped and spat at him all day like some deranged cat, anger and rage mixed with jealousy. She didn’t like herself when she got like this.

“Good timing.” He said as he stepped into the room to find her standing at the window staring out at the snowfall.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly, her eyes fixed on the fat snowflakes tumbling to the ground.

“For what love?” He came to stand beside her, the urge to touch her strong, but he sensed she needed to come to him, her system frazzled.

“For the way I spoke to you earlier, I’ve been in a pisser of a mood since I woke up and I’ve been taking it out on you. That’s not who I am and you deserve better from me.” She choked.

“It’s ok.” His tone tender.

“No, Gustaf it’s not.” She said turning to face him, the tell tale wheeze of her anxiety prevalent. “I don’t like being this person, the one that’s so fucking terrified that she bites your head off every chance she gets.” She struggled to suck in a breath and he was in front of her a heart beat later.

“Breathe.” He commanded softly, leaning his forehead against hers as she tried to do as he asked. “And again love.” He murmured, as she managed a small one. He talked to her, helping her focus on one breath after another until she took a deep breath and let it shudder out.

“I’m sorry.” She choked. “I don’t like who I am right now.”

He kissed her, full on wrapped her face in his gigantic hands and devoured every inch of that gorgeous mouth. It wasn’t seductive, it was to shut her up and shock her into silence, it worked. “It’s ok. Sometimes you have to get in the mood to get shit done, to kick some ass and take some names, you’ve done that. All day you’ve done that. Now it’s time to let it be.” He murmured and kissed her tenderly.

“I’m scared.” She admitted quietly. “And this jealousy I have no fucking right to feel just bubbles out of nowhere.” Her tone was so lost, he thought. It hadn’t been that way for a while.

“I know you’re scared love.” He took a chance and slowly bundled her into his arms. “I’m not feeling particularly great about it all either. But as you keep reminding me, we can’t let her win.” Her snort made him smirk.

“God you’re so fucking right.” She sighed. “And here I am letting her do exactly that.” She was such an idiot.

“At least you channeled it into something useful.” He chuckled taking a dig at himself. “I’ll remind you if you remind me?” He said gently as he kissed her brow.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I. I should have got my lazy ass up and helped.” He scoffed at himself.

“There wasn’t anything for you to help with really.”

“I could have made breakfast.” He smiled at her chuckle, she was coming back to him. “So, to make up for that faux pas, come with me a moment.” He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom where the tub was full, bubbles and the soft candlelight almost instantly calming her. “In you get. I’m going to make tea and come and join you.”

“I love you.” She said softly, her voice quavering, he was so good to her.

“I love you too.” He kissed her tenderly as he slipped the silk robe from her shoulders, hands roaming her body with a need to soothe, to nurture, to give. “Get in the tub love. Let it be done for today and relax.” He murmured, his lips ghosting hers before he kissed her slowly and pulled away to go and make tea.

Her moan was delirious as she slipped into the blistering hot water, he knew how she liked it. Letting the thoughts of the day melt from her brain she started to drift, the anxiety falling away to finally allow her to relax. She’d done all she could to keep those she loved safe, to help start building a case against Ana if it came to that. Her thoughts went to the kids, the ten day vacation in the snow that Gustaf had booked, and smiled. That would be some good bonding time for all of them. How could she be jealous of that? “Stupid.” She huffed. “You’re just being a selfish stupid woman.”

The clink of china on the tile roused her from the warm and sleepy state she’d fallen into while he’d been gone, the thoughts of children of their own again drifting through her consciousness every now and then.

“You’re all soft and sleepy.” He said quietly, the arousal of her in such a state edging his tone. Bending down to kiss her his hand slipped beneath the water to touch her, fingers teasing as his mouth claimed hers. “Can I join you?”

“Mmmm.” She sighed dreamily. Moving forward Gustaf climbed in behind her and stretched out, bundling her into his lap.

“Now this is much better.” He purred, the water easing the stress from his body in an instant. “I brought snacks, I figured you wouldn’t want a huge meal.”

“It’s perfect.” She relaxed back against that massive chest, his arms curling around her protectively, the tenderness of his touch reassuring her that they would be ok. They talked softly, sipping their tea, snacking, the lazy strokes of his fingers making her entire body turn to goo. He smirked against the nape of her neck as a shiver skittered over her skin as his lips tended a favorite spot.

“I’m falling asleep I’m so relaxed.” She chuckled, his mouth seductively toying with her earlobe.

“I love it when you’re all soft and warm and sleepy.” He dipped his head down to gently bite her shoulder.

“I know you do.” She sighed as his hands cupped her breasts. Turning the jets on he continued to caress her body, arouse her, seduce her, determined to see her fully relaxed and sated before sleep claimed her.

When she was almost a complete mess he helped her out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her, pulling her close. He had a need to take care of her today, after all the upheaval of the last twenty four hours he needed it as much as she did.

Walking her back to the bed his mouth claimed hers, lazy, tender, yet demanding. Fingers removed the towel and he kissed her as she climbed on to the bed. Rolling her to her side he wrapped her top leg around him and slipped into that glorious wet heat. He made love to her, pulling each soft cry and whimper from her with heartbreaking tenderness.

“Gustaf.” Her voice choked, he could hear the sob waiting ready to fall as soon as she came.

“I know love, let it take you.” He murmured, the slow, deep thrusts caressing that one spot inside her that would be her undoing. His finger stroked over her clit, the sensation tipping her over the edge. She came hard, the soft cry of his name tumbling from her lips peaking his own release. Quickening his pace slightly he rode out their bliss, coming hard.

Her body shook as he slowed and gently pulled out to lay beside her, the tears came next. He was expecting them after the stress of the morning, the anger that still simmered beneath the surface, her inner turmoil. “Come here love.” He murmured, curling her into him. “Let it go.” He kissed her hair, the scent of her soothing him.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

“It’s fine. Let it go.” He soothed as his fingers gently raked through her hair. She calmed eventually, the sobs giving way to just tears, Gustaf didn’t know what was worse really, he hated it when she cried but knew that sometimes she was better for it. “Too much today and last night.” He said softly.

“Overload.” She sniffed, as she burrowed into his chest, his scent soothing the rough edges of her distress and the strength she found with him.

“Sleep now love.” He kissed her brow and pulled the covers over them both.

“Boring for you.” She scoffed, her tone telling him she was already drifting.

“I have you in my arms love, nothing boring about that. I think we could both use the rest.” She craned her head back to look at him.

“I love you and I’m sorry.” She said gently, her fingers brushing his lips.

“I love you and I’m sorry too.” He smiled and nipped her fingers. “That tickles.” He chuckled and her smile loosened the tight feeling in his chest. “Close you eyes and sleep, or just drift, switch that wicked smart brain of yours off for a few hours. We have nowhere to be or to do anything else today.” He soothed, his fingers coasting up and down the length of her side. “A nap will be good for both of us.”

“I’m scared.” She whispered, as if voicing it would bring down a world of hurt on them both.

“I know you are love, I am too.” He snuggled her in tighter. “But we stick together, you and me.” Her nod made him smile. “We’ll have a week and change with the kids in the snow, far away from her and all this shit. We’ll take a breath, recharge, and then hit her with everything we have.” He kissed her hair. “I’m not going to let her destroy what we have Sildie.” He vowed, and her head came up off his chest and her kiss was fierce.

“I love you sweet man.”

“She doesn’t get to fuck with this family.” He growled. She kissed him, that tender kiss that rocked him to his core.

“You’re so much stronger than her.”

“Because I have you. You make me a better man Sildie, a better person, and she doesn’t get to fuck with that.”

“I’m worried about the kids, when they go back to school.” She was still processing, struggling to switch it off.

“I know love. Hopefully this will be done by then. And if it isn’t...” He tangled his fingers in that copper halo he adored and devoured her mouth slowly. “If it isn’t, we’ll deal with it, together, you and me.” He smiled at her. “Though I don’t think you’d have any problem kicking her ass seven ways to Sunday on your own regardless.” He gave her lips a quick peck in jest. “But you’re not alone love, I’ll help take her down anyway I can.” He kissed her tenderly. “Sleep a bit now ok?” Shut it down for a few hours and recharge.”

“Will you stay?” She breathed out as he felt her entire body relax into him, the need to know he would be here when she woke overwhelming.

“I’m not going anywhere love.” He kissed her hair as he felt her plummet into sleep at his words.

His thoughts drifted, there was nothing else either of them could do about the current situation. They had exhausted all options apart from committing homicide to rid the world of Ana’s existence. Sildie had busted ass today to keep everyone he loved safe, not just him and the kids, but his entire family. A family that she’d only just become a part of, a family that she was still getting a feel for, so new, so daunting, yet she’d defended them, protected them without hesitation. “How do I deserve someone as wonderful as you my love?” He whispered, breathing her in. The warmth of her against him pulling him into sleep, those soft curves pressed to him in all the right places.

He was woken by soft, lazy kisses from a woman just waking up herself. Half asleep he deepened it. “My Sildie.” He murmured, the rasp in his voice causing her to moan, her lips searching for more of him, more from him.

“I love waking up to you.” She breathed, those Viking blue eyes fluttering open to look at her. His hands were already moving along her body, a touch so gentle, so loving. It was a time for them to reconnect, the lazy seduction and sloppy kisses exactly what they needed. He’d never had this with any other woman, the spontaneity, the relaxed love making to soothe more than just the act of fucking each other.

“Roll over.” He murmured against her mouth, fingers enticing her to move onto her side. “Mmmmm. Much better.” He purred as he spooned her, hands tenderly cupping her breasts, thumbs exciting her nipples to hardened buds. His movements were unhurried, carefree but not careless, her own equally arousing.

She could feel his hardening length against her thigh, the lazy thrusts as he flexed his hips, grinding against her. Relaxing back into him she gave herself over to his talented fingers dancing along her skin, the arousal pooling at her entrance.

“Scoot your leg forward.” He murmured, and guided it to where he wanted it, mouth sucking on a tender spot below her ear.

“Spoony sex.” She giggled.

“Mmmm, never done this one?” He asked softly as his fingers drifted over her navel and inched toward her clit.

“No.” She sighed.

“Spoon sex is lazy.” He kissed a trail down her neck. “Slow.” His tongue darted out to flick the pulse at her neck before he sucked on it gently. “Erotic, unhurried, and with the right partner, beautiful. Just like you.” He kissed her as her head turned to look at him. “I love you Sildie.” His fingers trailed her jaw as he studied her face, he could never get enough of her.

“I love you too.” Her hand cupped the side of his face as she claimed his mouth, tongue dancing with his.

“Relax.” He breathed and went back to completely destroying her system. Those clever fingers stoked her arousal, eventually slipping between her folds and over her clit where he circled it slowly. “Feel good?” He whispered as her breath hitched and that soft whimper fell from her lips.

“Yes.”

Taking his cock in his hand he stroked the engorged tip through her juices, her heat making his own breath catch. Pausing at her entrance he continued to torment her clit. His pace was devilishly slow, pulling out every sensation her body had to offer her and setting fire to it. With a gentle flex of his hips he inched the tip inside her, the stretch to her opening causing that moan to tumble out. “You like that.”

“God yes. So big.” She gasped as he started thrusting, slow and shallow. “Gustaf.” He was so thick with her legs like this she almost thought he wouldn’t fit. Her belly and pussy fluttered, the muscles eager to feel him, every glorious inch of him.

“Let it take you love.” He purred, lips teasing the shell of her ear as his fingers kept the same torturous rhythm. “Let me feel you.” Her arm reached back and held him behind his head as she tensed, her body poised to shatter.

“I can’t.” She choked.

“Breathe and come for me.” He murmured tenderly and gently sucked the pulse at her neck. It was enough to tip her over, that gorgeous cry of his name as she came, her pussy clamping down around him. “Feels good.” He growled. “So good.” He continued to take her apart, the steady rhythm building each orgasm and letting it crash over her again and again.

“Come with me.” She gasped as another built, the need to feel him find release, find his own pleasure, to feel him pulse inside her.

He shifted slightly and thrust deeper, her cry one of surprise it could feel that good and total euphoria at being filled. “You’re so tight like this.” His breathing not as steady as before. They took each other, slow and deep, drawing out the intense pleasure. “Sildie.” His tone that deep timbre she loved, one he only used for her. He bit down on her shoulder gently as she peaked, the struggle to keep in control until she came almost painful.

He felt her fall over the edge, the savage grip of her pussy as she came making her that much tighter. Keeping the same rhythm he held her tightly to him as he tensed, his release thundering through him, the soft groan as he found his pleasure making her smile. Slowing to a stop they lay there sated, loose, and relaxed.

“I think you liked that.” He grinned against her hair as her quiet chuckle filled the room.

“There is nothing about our sex life I don’t like.” She half turned in his arms to look at him. “I like lazy, spoony sex.” Her kiss was smoldering.

“That’s illegal.” He breathed. “Yet so fucking good.” His growl made her chuckle.

“Food? I have no idea what the time is, but I’m hungry.”

“It’s only seven.” He said glancing at his phone. He kissed her and deepened it when her tongue teased his. “Plenty of time for food and more of you.” The smirk at her lips wasn’t lost on him.

“I like the sound of more of you.” She purred and nipped his jaw. “Food first.” They untangled themselves and headed to the kitchen, Sildie quite happy to wander the apartment naked.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb

[kestrelmando]

Writer Wednesday - The Phone Booth

The great @autumnleaves1991-blog has put together a weekly “Writer Wednesday” where she provides an image prompt.

This one is Jack “Whiskey” Daniels/f!OC.

Set in my, as of yet, unpublished f!OC x Whiskey series “Whiskey Smash”. Basic relevant background info; Whiskey and Mezcal (my f!OC with previous mob ties) were partners in Statesmen, just barely dip their toe into catching feelings when a near death experience with Mezcal scares him away due to his past. They haven’t talked/seen each other in a couple years at this point.

Warnings: Swear words, descriptions of a fight, impalement with a high heel, descriptions of wounds

-- 

A mission hadn’t blown up in her face like this is a long time, a really long time – the last one was years ago on that dingy rooftop where he had finally finally yanked her in and kissed her only for the night to end with her shoving him out of the line of fire. Three bullets later, two doses of Ginger’s experimental clotting serum, 3.5 liters of blood loss and she had woken up alone.

Just a note next to a vase of purple hyacinth and white amaranth; ‘I can’t do it again. – J’.

Oh, and she’d protested heavily on taking a mission in fucking New York. He was running the NYC branch, he could find someone local but Champ had insisted. It was supposed to be a simple recon mission; blend, listen, collect evidence.

Mezcal had wined and dined all evening, batting her eyelashes and smiling with doe eyes. She was this close to sticking her hand into the right pocket when someone had recognized her. He locked eyes with her across the room and recognition rippled across his face instantly. One of her father’s high level enforcers – hard to forget the boss’s daughter especially when she all but disappeared.

He knew better than to cause a scene in a private residence with stupidly rich people floating around between them. What the hell was he doing here? She made her excuses, off to powder her nose, and slipped into the empty side hallway. There was a small window in the butler’s pantry three doors down or she could try just walking out through the foyer and the front door. He’d be expecting the foyer, the cleanest exit was usually the simplest, so she made for the pantry.

She slipped off her heels and carried them, the click being far too loud on the marble floor, and quietly slid the pocket door open. The window was small, almost too small, but she was confident she’d make it and more importantly – the enforcer wouldn’t. Mezcal slid the door mostly shut and quickly went the window, shoving the frame up and grimacing at the chilly fall air.

A hand closed around her ankle just as she was halfway out, one knee dangling and the other in an awkward bend, and yanked her back. Her shoulder and head crashed against the upper window pane and frame with a crunch. Dazed, she dropped one shoe to the ground and swayed. Still, her free hand locked around the window frame. She would not be pulled back into the house – the other shoe came up, stiletto first, and embedded into his cheek.

The enforcer howled with pain, ripping it from his face with an arc of blood, and wrapped his beefy hands around both legs before dragging her back inside. They both tumbled to the ground at the momentum and she rolled to her feet, hands raised and ready for a fight.

 --

 She didn’t know how long she walked. Her head was swimming, ears were ringing. The cold autumn night bit at her bare feet and tattered dress. It was just like some rich asshole to have his home nearly on the slopes and away from everyone and everything else.

Eventually she stumbled onto a tiny town – if you could call it that. The storefronts were all long closed and she considered breaking into one for a phone and some warmth when she saw the lone phone booth. It stood out like a sore thumb, a relic even, but more secure than using a phone inside one of the stores.

She dutifully trudged to the booth and slipped inside, grimacing and checking the coin return for any spare change. At least one thing went right; seventy five cents in quarters rolled into her hand. Mezcal paused, she had to pick the right person to call and seventy five cents wasn’t going to give her long. After a mental run through of possible contacts, she sighed and let her head slump against the booth.

It had to be him. Goddamit, it had to be Whiskey.

He was all but guaranteed to be at the office still and the New York City branch was only a hour and an half by car. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, willing herself to forget his forlorn face all those years ago when he said he didn't like going home to an empty bed. 

She slid the quarters into the phone and dialed the number she would never admit she knew by heart; Whiskey's direct line. 

It rang twice before he picked up, voice stretched and thin, "Whiskey."

The air left her lungs and her tongue cemented itself to the roof of her mouth. Absurdly, she felt tears prick at her eyes. Even tired and lacking its usual ridiculous bounciness, it was the most beautiful sound she'd heard in ages. He sighed into the receiver.

She finally found her voice, "It's me." 

He breathed her name like a prayer, "Mezcal," he paused and then pressed on more urgently, "What's wrong?"

"I'm in New York, Middletown. I need extraction. I...I was unable to get back to my planned exit."

"Darlin' are you hurt? Where in Middletown?"

She leaned out of the phone booth looking for a street sign, "Oak and Main, phone booth."

"Are you hurt?"

"Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix."

He muttered something she didn't quite catch before saying, "Sit tight,  extraction comin' in a hour."

Mezcal hung up the phone, and slid the phone booth door shut in a vain attempt to stem the flow of cold air. She sunk to the floor and drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her fingers around her numb toes.

--

Time was immaterial; all she knew was cold. The thin dress offered no insulation and both shoes had been lost on the grounds of the target's home.

Headlights cut through the night and she raised her head to see an unmistakable white bronco and a familiar stetson emerge from truck.

He didn't send a driver.

She tried to unfold her frozen limbs but everything was sluggishly moving. Instead, she reached over and slid open the phone booth door.

He caught he gaze over the hood of the bronco. Whiskey hurried over to her and immediately bent to help her up, hissing at the iciness of her bare arms.

She let herself be pulled up, mumbling, "You didn't have to come."

He knew her meaning; he could've sent someone. Instead he just replied, "Yeah I did."

They walked back to the truck, Whiskey's hand on the small of her back, and he opened the passenger door for her. The interior light of bronco illuminated her face and his face quickly morphed into alarm. He blurted out her name, her real name. "Kenna?" 

"You should see the other guy." She attempted with some bravado.

He gave her a once over in the light and all but lifted her into the truck, "Where the fuck are your shoes?"

"Just... let's go. Get the heat on, I'll tell you on the way back."

Whiskey nodded tightly but shut her door and got in on the other side. He turned on the truck, got the heater running, but didn't make a move to go anywhere. Instead he flicked on the overhead lights and reached into the back, broad shoulder brushing against her, and fished out a Statesmen first aid kit. 

He opened it with a snap and began pulling out various items, not glancing up from the kit, "Start talking."

"Recon, potential medical front for a bioweapons dealer. Wasn't supposed to see any action."

She sucked in a breath when she caught his eye. Those damn eyes. His brow had that knit in it and his gaze was the same soft one it had been that night all those years ago. She pointedly did not look at his mouth.

He reached up and tucked his fingers under her chin, turning her head to apply antiseptic to a small cut near her temple and on a few scrapes along her arms. Next was a prototype field ice pack, he gave it a few vigorous shakes and the small pouch froze. 

His fingers swept across her cheekbone, just below her black eye. "And who did this, sugar?"

Silence loomed between them and he frowned, anxiety swirling in his gut the longer she didn't say. His other hand crept up to cradle her neck.

"Kenna--"

"An enforcer. One of his enforcers, Jack."

The knit in his brow increased, his lips turning down into a frown. "Do we need to go take care of it?"

Mezcal smiled grimly then, "No. Dumb city kid was too enraptured by the fancy dumb waiter. The new, modern hydraulic dumb waiter."

Whiskey smirked at that and pressed the ice pack to her swollen eye. She told herself it was just her icicle limbs thawing in the warm truck, but a wave of heat rolled through her as his gaze openly drifted down her body. 

He picked at the tattered line of a slit in her dress, just above her knee, "Anywhere else we need to address?"

Her mouth was a desert, "Just the usual flesh wounds." 

Whiskey hummed and slid the slit over slightly to investigate, the fabric sliding across her legs and opening further up her thigh.

Like a goddamn curtain opening on a reminder of their last op together, the dress revealed the raised, white, puckered scar of a bullet wound. The same wound that nearly bled her dry in Jack's arms. 

Mezcal slowly raised her head to meet his eyes and she could see it happening in real time; his eyes became distant and his expression closed off. Her heart clenched -- goodbye Jack, hello Agent Whiskey. He moved his hands to wheel and they set off back to New York City.

Later, as she took a company car to drive back to Kentucky that night, she didn't bother saying goodbye. They were back to strangers.

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary - Chapter 29

Warnings: some violence

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud, @alievans007, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @thorsbathroomchicken, @valkyrie-of-the-light

If you can, please leave even the smallest comment so I know someone is reading lol  <3

“I thought you said you knew how to do this?”  Esme whispers, as she nervously bounces up and down on her heels, arms crossed over her chest, hands vigorously rubbing her shoulders in a vain attempt to warm herself up.  Enormous poplars tower over either end of the McMann's front porch, effectively blocking out the sun and bringing a chill to the air.

“I do,” Yaz responds, as he uses a picking tool to manipulate the lock on the front door. He'd already used a high tech blocker to jam the security system; once inside no alarm would sound and no police or security would be alerted to their activity.  “It just takes time.”

“It's been fifteen minutes. If there's anyone watching, they're going to see us.”

“If there is anyone watching, they would have seen us by now.  I can't believe you even talked me into this.”

“I was getting tired of waiting around for Nik to make up her mind about whether she wanted us to check the place out or not.  What's with her dragging her heels? We are running out of time. Those kids are running out of time. We need information, Yaz. It's not going to fall into our laps.” “I thought you were going to get information tomorrow. On your date.”

“It is not a date. It's a ruse. To get what I what.  This clock is ticking. We don't have time to fuck around. Those kids have been missing for two weeks. And you know as well as I do, that they're on borrowed time. So it's time to pull out all the stops.  Go big or go home.”

'Tyler's going to flip his shit, you know that, right?”

“Tyler is a big boy that realizes that we need to get the show on the road. And that sometimes means  making....uncomfortable...decisions.”

“You really think he's going to be okay with his wife going out on a date with some random guy?”

“Again, it's not a date. I'm using this person to get information. Information we all desperately need, I might add.  This is the only way I'm going to get it, Yaz. And it's messed up and it's weird and it's going to get incredibly awkward.  But this has to be done.  He's got names. People who have way more clout and info than he does. We are so close to finding out just who has those kids and where they are.”

“You're crazy if you think Tyler is going to go along with this.  I wouldn't if I was in his shoes. I wouldn't want my wife putting herself out there like that. Pretending she's single, flirting with other men, having dinner and drinks with them.”

“It's for the job. He's not going to feel threatened over some two bit hood that I have to con to get info out of. He's forty years old, Yaz. He's far beyond being the jealous and irrational type.”

He smirks. “You keep telling yourself that.”  There's an audible 'click' as the lock finally gives way, and he shoots her a victorious grin as he turns the handle and pushes the door open, holding it for her and gesturing for to step inside first.  

“Oh so it can be me the attack dogs come after first,” she teases, slapping him playfully across the chest before stepping into the foyer. “Not too shabby,” she gives a nod of approval as she surveys the polished marble tiles, cove ceilings, and rich cherry wood accents. “I didn't picture McMann as the type to have wainscotting and antiques. He seems more like the leather and chrome type. Look...” she picks up a small knick-knack from the hallway table; a small porcelain figurine of a young boy with his dog. “...he even has Hummels! Talk about someone being a total mind fuck! Total study in contradiction, don't you think?”

“How do you even know what Hummels are? You don't seem like the type to collect frilly and pretty shit.”

“My grandmother used to collect them. She had a whole china cabinet full of them.  She used to threaten to beat our asses if even dared step a single toe in the living room where they were kept.   She was the type that had plastic on the couches and fancy hand towels in the bathroom that no one was allowed to touch. Oooo...look...mail,” she picks up a stack of envelopes from the table.  “Let's snoop.”

“What are we exactly looking for?” Yaz asks, as they fall in step alongside of each other, curiously watching as she thumbs through the stack of mail, then selects a handwritten letter bearing a New Zealand postal stamp.

“Anything and everything,” she tears into the envelope, plucking the stiff writing paper out from its confines, carefully opening it.  “Fancy,” she releases a low, impressed whistle. “Someone doesn't realize the art of good penmanship and snail mail died a long time ago.  This has to be from an older relative. Someone still hanging onto the past. Maybe Heather's grandmother?”

“Maybe. What's it say?”

“It's about the business. Maybe the grandmother's shop? The one where she was helping Heather hide out from her father? Where McMann found her? There's no name of the place or an address. The letter is personal. Nothing business like about it.  All about how sad it is that the end of the era has come and how the writer wishes things could have been different. But they accept the decision and won't contact them again. It's signed Nan.”

“Definitely the grandmother.” Yaz concludes.

“We'll take it with us,” Esme says, and then pauses before she slips it into her purse. Then drops all of the envelopes inside. “We'll talk all of them, actually.”

“You don't think he's going to realize his mail is missing?”

“Who cares. Let him think he's gone crazy and tear the place apart looking for it.  Let's start upstairs and work our way down.”

“You seem to enjoying this a little too much,” Yaz comments, as he follows her up the spiral staircase, loose floorboards sagging and creaking under their feet. “Were you a cat burglar at some point in your old life?”

“No,” she laughs. “I just get a perverse satisfaction out of snooping through peoples' shit and finding out the skeletons in their closet. Especially people like this. The ones who have the fancy house and the fancy cars and the designer clothes. The ones that look so perfect on the outside yet have the most twisted shit going on behind closed doors.”

“So about this date...”

She sighs.

“Sorry...about this 'non date'.  You honestly think Tyler is going to be okay with it? That you're going to let some IRA dude wine and dine you?”

“First all, I think you need to stop worrying about what goes on between Tyler and I.  Our marriage is good, Yaz. It's beyond good. It's amazing. We love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together and totally intend on doing just that. We have four amazing kids.  If we've managed to get through the past five and a half years, this bullshit with Michael McMann isn't going to break us.”

“But you're pretending like your single. You're flirting with this bartender. You agreed to go out with him.”

“It's for the job,,” she reminds him. “There's nothing scandalous going on. It is strictly business. I'm not running off to cheat on my husband. This isn't committing adultery. This is lying and conning someone into giving us what we want. What we need. And Tyler is going to understand that. Any rational human being would.”

“You realize that he isn't exactly understanding and rational when it comes to you, right? You realize it drives him batshit insane if another guy so as much looks as you when you're with him? He doesn't even like me checking you out.”

“You've been checking me out?”

“It's kind of hard not to. At the risk of sounding like a pervert, you're kind of hard not to notice. I so would have scooped you up if you weren't into tall, buff, Australian dudes.  I'm just saying that this is a horrible idea. You hooking up with this bartender. It can be done another way. Getting information. Why risk pissing Tyler off and causing issues between you guys?”

“He isn't going to be pissed off. He's a professional.”

“He's also your husband.  Maybe he'd be okay with it if it was just some girl off the street Nik brought in. But you guys have history. You're his wife. And no husband is going to like the idea of his wife being with another man. Whether it's for business or not.  Doesn't he at least get a say in this?”

“What he is going to say?”

“That you're insane and there's no way he's letting you do it.”

“I admit, when I tell him, he may get a little upset...”

Yaz stares at her pointedly.

“Okay so he may get very upset. But when he calms down, he'll realize that it's for the best. That things like this have to be done from time to time. I'm going to have a dinner and a couple drinks and I'm going to get the info we need. I'm not running off with some strange man to cheat on my husband. Give me some credit, would you? Sheesh. You don't really think that about me do you? That I'd do that to Tyler?”

“I don't think you would. I know you're crazy about the guy. But this is some serious shit you're wadding into. This guy is IRA. Not just a bartender. A bartender that's in a terrorist organization. And you're walking right into his bullshit. This is crazy. You know it is. And I agree that we need information, but...”

“You check the master bedroom,” she suggests. “I'll hit up the kids' rooms”

He captures her by the wrist before she can walk away. “Esme, I'm just worried about you, okay? This is some scary shit we're all getting into it. You're my friend. Tyler's my friend. I don't want to see this screwing things up for you guys. You two have a great thing.  He has a normal life. A wife and kids.  A house. All the things he'd never thought he'd have, you gave him.  And I don't want to see all that fucked up because of this Michael McMann bullshit. Just promise me you'll hear him out. When you tell him about tomorrow night. Don't just ignore what he has to say. Because I don't think you realize just how much he loves you. How much it would kill him to lose you. To lose what he has.”

“I'm not going anywhere, Yaz.  I plan to stick around. For a very long time.  Or least until you end up killing me for making jokes at your expense.”

He grins at that.

“Tyler knows I love him. He knows that I would do anything for him.  I'm not going to let anyone screw my life up.  I've worked too hard at this and put too much work into my marriage...into my family...to let the job mess that up. I promise.”

“Good,” he says, and then playfully tousles her hair. “Now lets get to work.”

****

McMann is already waiting for the them at the scheduled, a long abandoned school on the outskirts of town. A one story sprawling building; faded and chipped red bricks, broken and missing windows, weeds and grass to the knees, industrial sized dumpsters filled the brim.  The area itself is a disaster; most of the houses empty and boarded up, junk of various shapes and sizes filling the yards of the tenants who still remain.  A foul stench hangs in the air; rotting trash, pollution from the factories only blocks away, the smell of mould and mildew that comes with years of neglect and decay.

“That's him?” Mark mutters as they approach,  McMann watching them with narrow, darkened eyes, taking one last, long drag of his cigarette before tossing it aside.

Tyler nods. “Just remember what I told you. Just go with it.”

“Who the hell is this? McMann barks. “You're supposed to be alone. What the hell kind of shit are you trying to pull, Rake?”

“I was just going to ask you the same thing,” he retorts, and before McMann  can get out another word, Tyler is grabbing a hold of the front of his t-shirt and slamming his forearm into his throat; using his height and weight advantage to shove the startled man into the side of one of the dumpsters. The back of his head slamming off the metal with an echoing thud.

“What the fuck?!” McMann roars. “What the fuck do you think you're doing? Are you fucking crazy? What is wrong with you? We had a deal!”

“Everything you told me was a goddamn lie,” Tyler snarls. “Right from the very beginning. Right from the fucking start you've been bullshitting me. Playing me. You didn't think I'd find out? You didn't think I had ways of looking into you and figuring out what you're up to?”

“I don't know what you're talking about. I don't...”

He increases the pressure of his forearm; leaning into the other man. Until McMann is coughing and sputtering and his face turning a vivid shade of red.  “Don't lie to me,” Tyler hisses.  “If there was ever the time to tell the truth, this would be it.”

“You're crazy,” McMann manages through the gagging; spit rolling down the sides of his mouth, sweat beading across his forehead. His eyes wide with a mixture of fury and terror. “You're fucking crazy. I was warned about you. How unhinged you are.”

“I haven't even got to the point of being unhinged. I know about your little plan. All the bullshit you spewed to get me here. Away from my family. You wanted me alone. You thought it would make me vulnerable. You thought you'd be able to get the drop on me.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about you. You!” he barks the last word at Mark, who stands idly by with his hands shoved in his pockets, enjoying the exchange. “Do something would ya? Get him off of me!”

“No,” Mark says, and casually leans against one of the brick walls. “I don't think I will.”

“Your little friend showed up at my hotel,” Tyler continues. “What is she? Your little girlfriend? Your side piece?”

“What girl? Who...”

“She gave me the pictures. The pictures of your wife and your kids. The proof of life. And she gave me the pictures of my family. Of my wife, my kids. Didn't I warn you not to fuck with my family? Didn't I tell you it was the worst possible thing that you could do? Go after my wife and my kids? That I would kill you if you even thought about it?”

“I swear...” McMann claws at Tyler's forearm, struggles in vain to get away from the strong, solid body keeping him in place.  “...I don't know what you're talking about...”

“Tell me the truth,” Tyler orders.  “All of it. Or I will snap your neck right here and now and I'll leave you here to rot.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about!” he insists, his skin turning a hideous shade of purple, blood vessels popping in his eyes. And with his free hand he reaches up to grab a hold of Tyler's hair; yanking and twisting it.

“You stupid fucker!”  Tyler roars; the act dissipating, the rage suddenly all too real.

That simple and desperate act of violence and retaliation against him sends him over the edge.  Five and a half years of pent up anger and frustration.  The confusion he'd felt during those months in the hospital and all through those long and tedious days of rehab and wondering if he'd ever been even half the man he once was.  The guilt that he carried around over what he had put Esme through; her fight to keep him alive on the bridge,  the nights she'd spent sleeping beside his hospital bed, the animosity she'd felt towards him for having pushing her into a life she didn't  want. The lingering fear that he'll lose her. That she'll disappear from his life just as quick as she entered it. Leaving him broken and alone and raising four kids by himself. He wouldn't survive. He knows it.  He'd turn to the booze and the meds again and his life would fall apart and then he'd no longer even have his children.

His forearm slips from McMann's throat and his hand wraps around his throat. Knuckles cracking and turning white from the pure, brute force that he uses.  Nostrils flaring. Chest heaving from a mixture of rage and exertion. Eyes dark and crazed.  The eyes of a predator that has managed to catch his prey and will show no mercy.

“All right...” Mark is stepping alongside of him now.  “....take it easy....take it down a notch...this isn't what we came for...”

“You fucking lied to me,” Tyler's voice is low, menacing. Fingers pressing further into McMann's throat.  “I told you to leave my family out of it. I told you to stay away from my wife and my kids. And now they're caught up in this bullshit. Your bullshit.  And if anything happens to my wife because of you...”

“Hey...hey...” Mark lays a hand on Tyler's arm. “...look at me, kid....look at me...”

Tyler inhales sharply, breath slowly leaving his lungs and his lips, turning those furious blue eyes on Mark's concerned hazel ones.

“Nothing is going to happen to her, okay? She's going to be fine. She's safe. With you. Now just take it down a notch. This isn't what we came here for. Step back, take a breath, and get your shit together. Understand me?”

Tyler just stares at him. Just heaving. Fingers finally beginning to relax around McMann's throat.

“You kill him and then what?” Mark asks. “You kill him, you don't get what you want. You need whatever information he has. He dies, those kids die. And you know that.  That's not what you want, Tyler. You don't want the blood of those kids on your hands. So take a step back and calm down, you hear me?

He finally relents.  Hand relaxing and falling off of McMann's throat, stepping back as the man's body collapses to the ground in front of him.  

“Just take it easy...” Mark encourages, and rubs his shoulders in the same way a manager would do a boxer in between rounds.  “....just take a few deep breaths and take it easy...”

Tyler rakes his hands through his hair;  then bends at the waist, hands resting on his thighs. Eyes closed as he struggles to regain his composure. Sucking in long, shaky breaths. Releasing them slowly. Until he feels all of his muscles begin to relax; the rage and the tension disappearing first from his shoulders, then spreading down his arms and his arms.  

“You stupid sonofabitch,” McMann gasps for air as he struggles into a sit, back against the dumpster.  “Do you know who you're messing with? Do you know the people I know? The people I'm involved with? What they could do to you? To your family?”

“Shut your goddamn mouth,” Mark snarls. “I've calmed him down once. I won't be able to again.  Keep his family out of this. If you know what's good for you. You good?” he pats Tyler on the back.  “You think you can hold it together long enough to get some information out of this prick?”

He nods, heaving a sigh as he stands up. “I'm good.”

“What kind of information?” McMann asks, eyes narrowed as Tyler approaches him. “I've already told you everything I know.”

“You lied to me, mate.  Right off the hop. You told me that your wife was a shop keeper in New Zealand. That she was feeding you information while you were there for a job. I know that's all shit. I know who she is. I know who her family is. Who her father was.  You were working for him. He hired you to extract her.  She was a kid.  She was a fucking kid and you took advantage of her. She was weak and vulnerable and you were responsible for her and you preyed on her, you sick fuck.”

“We fell in love,” he tries to reason. “I never forced her into anything. It was mutual.”

“She was a teenager! She was seventeen and you took advantage of her. What the hell is wrong with you? You were thirty three. You were supposed to protect her. Bring her home to her father.  She was vulnerable and she trusted you and you took advantage of that. For that alone I should break your fucking neck. We both have daughters. Would you want that for your daughter? I sure as hell don't. And if someone like you ever even so as much looks at my daughter the wrong way. I'll do shit to them  that they couldn't even begin to imagine in their worst dreams.”

“She was almost an adult,” McMann continues. “She wasn't a child. She was...”

“I know about everything,” Tyler says. “I know that you started taking jobs for friends of her old man. That you'd take the money and not get the work done. I also know that you killed him.”  He's taking a shot in the dark with the last part; there's no proof that McMann is the one that did the hit himself. Or had one put on his father in law.

“He knew too much.  About me being part of the IRA. I told him I left and he found out I didn't and he was going to try and convince Heather to take the kids and leave.”

“You're still part of them?” Mark inquires. “The IRA?”

“No. I did leave. Two years ago. I have nothing to do with them now.”

“Why'd you lie about who has your wife and your kids?” Tyler asks. “We know it's not the IRA.  They deny having anything to do with it. They won't claim responsibility.  Why'd you tell me it was them? Do you realize what could have happened? If I'd just come in here believing what you said and caused all kinds of shit with them? How bad things would have gotten? You wanted me to take the fall for you, didn't you. You wanted me to come here and blow shit up and take a bullet for you. To cover up who's actually behind all of this. You were willing to have me killed to cover your shit up.”

McMann nods.

“Who has them?” Mark asks. “Who has your wife and your kids?”

“Her family,” he replies. “The Buckmans.”

“Whose in charge?” Tyler inquires.  “Of the family? Is it your wife?”

“I can't...I can't tell you that.  You have to understand.  If I tell you everything...”

“Is your wife in charge?” Tyler presses, and takes a step closer. “Don't fuck me around here, mate. You've lied to me enough. So unless you want me snapping your neck for good this time...”

“I'm not sure.  I'm not sure she's involved. At first I thought she was innocent in all of this. That she was just as innocent as the kids. And then things started not adding up. The more and more I thought about it, things didn't make sense.”

“Why? Why would she do it? Why would she do that to her own kids?”

“Revenge?” McMann suggests with a shrug. “For what I did to her father.”

“And because you've been sticking your dick where it doesn't belong?” Mark smirks. “Yeah, we know about that too. You're just one big shit show, aren't you.”

“Where are they?” Tyler asks. “Where are your wife and kids?”

“That I don't know.  I honestly do not know. I've got both of them after me . The IRA. The Buckmans.”

“Well you're well and truly fucked aren't you, mate.  And I'd give a shit if you didn't go after my family. Was it you? That sent that girl? Erin? Was it you that had someone take pictures of my wife and my kids?”

“No. I had nothing to do with that. I'd have no reason to do that. I needed you here. To help.”

“No. You needed me here to start a whole bunch of shit. And die in the process.  Then shit really hit the fan with your wife and your kids and you realized you did need me alive. That you needed me to do your dirty work. Because you're a coward. A fucking coward that preys on young girls. You were never going to try and get your wife and your kids back, were you. You were going to leave that all to me.”

“I'm not like you,” McMann says.  “I can't do the things you do.  I can't turn it off.  The emotions.”

“And you think I can? You think I like doing this? You think I like having to kill people? I do it because I have to. Because  I have no other choice. Because it's me or them.  Because I have a family that needs me  and going home in a body bag isn't an option.”

“Where are they?” Mark asks. “The kids.”

“I told you. I don't know. I'm not in on this. I have nothing to do with this. I would never do something like that. To my own kids.  I do need your help,” he turns pleading eyes up at Tyler.  “I do need you to find them.  To get them out.  You're the only one that can do it.”

“And if I was to leave right now?” Tyler asks “If I was to just say 'fuck it' and leave? What then?”

“You wouldn't be able to live with yourself,” McMann replies. “You have kids of your own. And every time you would look at them, you'd think about the kids you left behind. To die.”

Tyler gives a derisive snort. “Let's go,” he says to Mark, and then turns on his heel to head for the car.  “We're done here.”

“Don't you fucking walk away!” McMann roars, as he struggles to his feet. “Don't you bail on me, Rake! Don't you bail on my kids!”

“I'll find your kids,”  Tyler assures him.  “Just as long as you stay the fuck out of my way.”

*****

The McMann house is eerily quiet; nothing but the soft hum of the central air conditioning  filling the air. Outside is just as still; no breeze tousling the tree tops, no sounds of children playing in nearby yards or cars on the street. The sky gray and dreary; an imminent threat of rain.

Esme scours the little girl's room; the boy's had turned up nothing out of the ordinary and it had left her frustrated and feeling helpless. One moment it felt as if they were getting closer to finding out their whereabouts, the next it seemed as if they were taking a hundred steps backwards.

The room is the quintessential girls room. A white wood canopy bed with a billowing sheer panels; white with delicately embroidered pink and purple flowers around the edges. An obviously handmade quilt boasting panels displaying rainbows, unicorns and other mythical creatures. The hardwood floor covered in places by impossibly soft bubble gum pink shag throw rugs, a wall to wall bookcase filled with the little one's favourites and a wide selection of stuffed animals. A desk in one corner; covered with drawers and loose markers and crayons. A towering dollhouse in the other; filled with every possible kind of decor and furniture and several different Barbies.

She searches the closet; flipping through hangers of clothing.  Mostly dresses;  all flowing and made from expensive fabrics and boasting rich, vibrant colours.  A handful of more casual items; jeans, a few t-shirts,  a couple of zip up sweaters.  And she sticks her arm in as far as it will go; blindly feeling along the walls for any shelving or even tucked away spaces and corners that could be used as hiding spots.

Nothing.

Sighing, she closes the closet door and journeys to the dresser.  Fingertips tracing along the various toys and small figurines that sit on top of it.  Unicorns the current favourite; ceramic ones that have been hand painted, others made from glass, a couple constructed of heavy crystal, two with multi-coloured flowing manes and tails. There's a hair brush and a handheld mirror; antique by the looks of it, likely passed on through generations.  A small jewellery box that when opened, held a spinning ballerina and played a soft lullaby.

And suddenly the emotions hit.  Raw and powerful.  Thoughts of her own little girl. Of Millie and her brilliant blue eyes and her light brown hair done up in braids.  Of that bedroom back in Colorado that boasts all the little touches that make Millie the spirited and beautiful five year old that she is;  the paintings she'd done on her own and insisted be framed and hung,  the fleece Winnie the Pooh blanket that she'd been given as a baby by a neighbour in the old apartment; it was tattered and faded yet she still insisted that it be kept at the foot of her bed.  Family pictures on her dresser; even ones of her brothers who she was adamant she hated, yet always told them she loved them before bed.  And that stuffed koala; the one that her daddy had given her when she was only an hour old and had been tagging along with them everywhere they went.  He was missing one eye now; his fur wasn't as soft and it had lost most of its colour. But he is treasured and well loved.

The tears come now. Hot. Bitter. The realization of just how desperately she misses her family.  Just how far away they actually are. How messed up things are and how there's a very real chance that she may never see them again. Or, at the very least, be returning as a single parent.

She flees the room; nearly knocking Yaz clear off his feet as he exits the master across the hall.  And she's barely aware of him calling her name and asking what's wrong; tears blurring her vision and burning her cheeks, chest heaving with sobs as she rushes down the stairs.  She feels as if she can't breathe. She's nauseous. Dizzy. Desperate for escape.

She's sitting on the front steps when the door opens behind her. Clearing the tears off her cheeks with one hand, the other rubbing at her bare arms. She's tired. Emotionally and physically. The stress and the worry and the overwhelming loneliness just too much to bear.  And Yaz doesn't say a word. Just silently slips out of his jacket and drapes it over her shoulders before taking a seat on the top step beside her.

“Anything?” she asks after several minutes, thankful that he hadn't asked questions or pressured her to tell her what was wrong.  Just sitting there in silence; a comforting, friendly presence.

“There's no women's clothes,” he replies. “In the closet. Or any of the dressers.  No things belonging to a woman in any of the bathrooms.”

“This just gets weirder and weirder,” Esme sighs. “McMann said that his kids and his wife were both taken. On the same day. But if there's no sign she was even here...”

“Maybe she came back and got her things.”

“Which would mean she's not being held.  That she's free to come and go as she pleases. And no captor or captors are going to allow that.”

“Which points towards the idea that she's involved.”

Esme nods.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “You've been a little weird the last couple of days.”

“You call me weird three hundred and sixty five days a year. What makes the last couple any different?”

“You're even weirder than usual,”  he teases, and playfully leans into her. “I'm serious. You've been acting all out of sorts. Are you okay?”

“No,” she admits with a shake of her head. “I'm not.”

“You wanna talk about it or...”

“I miss home. I miss the kids.  I miss my life. The one I had before all of this. Before Michael McMann showed up.”

“You'll get that back,” Yaz assures her. “We're getting closer.”

“How can you say that? We have nothing. If seems like with every two steps we take forward, we take ten backwards.”

“I can just feel it,” he says. “I can just feel that we're close. To something. We should get going. We should really be back at the hotel before Tyler gets there. He's going to wonder where the hell we went if we're not there. And I don't know if we should be telling him about this.”

Esme rests the side of her head against his shoulder. “Our little secret?”

“Our little secret,” he confirms.

“Think they'd mind if I used their bathroom? Those two extra large teas on the way here practically have my eyeballs swimming.”

He laughs at that. “You want me to wait here or go start the car or....”

“Just wait here. In case someone does see us here and decides to pop in for a visit.”

She steps back into the house, hurrying for the small three piece bathroom that she'd seen when they'd first started their search of the house.  While in there, she finds a bottle of anti nausea meds in the medicine and takes three; swallowing them down with a palm full of water and then hurrying out to meet Yaz.

She is three feet from the door when she sees it. Out of the corner of her eye.  The corner of an ornate cherry wood dining table behind a set of French doors.   And when she slips into the room for a closer look, she frowns at the odd sight of only five chairs instead of the usual six.

The chair, she thinks.

The one that Heather Buckman was bound to.  The one with the unusual carvings on the legs and the back and the very distinct cushion; burgundy with silver and gold flecks.

The one that matches the five still remaining in the room.

Her hands are shaking as she pulls her SAT from the pocket of her jeans. A sudden rush of adrenaline and the resurgence of hope causing the tremors.  And she snaps a picture of one of the chairs before composing a text to Tyler and sending it to his phone.

WE FOUND SOMETHING.

[melto]

day five of @souyoweek2019

fantasy or shadows | AO3 LINK

sooo i kinda took the fantasty prompt and made it into the IT having a dnd session hfjkhjkfdj writing about people playing dnd was a lot harder than i thot it would be so rip my ass anyways here’s like their basic character info

naoto - dm and wrote the campaign (based off the one i wrote for my group) chie - her character is a neutral good half-orc fighter named ashe yukiko - her character is a neutral good wood elf warlock named gwen kanji - his character is a chaotic neutral lightfoot halfling cleric  named damon teddie - his character is literally just a true neutral enchanted bear named, you guessed it, teddie rise - her character is a true neutral gnome bard named monique yosuke - his character is a chaotic neutral tiefling rogue named tex yu - his character is a chaotic good human ranger named pierce

The Investigation Team was sat around a table in Yukiko’s family in late one night, the air was tense as Naoto set the scene for the start of their current Dungeon and Dragons session. The complex story Naoto spent a month writing was finally coming to a close, and the other’s are certain they have put all the pieces together.

Yosuke is nervously playing with his dice in his hand as Naoto speaks in a character voice addressing the party from a pedestal a few feet in front of them. Yu placed a hand on Yosuke’s knee to try to offer him comfort, but he knows Yosuke is just extremely invested. The blue haired boy was an excellent writer, and Yosuke was the first to catch on to who were the real villains in this story, but due to past actions of his character Tex, the rest of the party disregarded his suspicions.

Kanji’s character is the first to react to Naoto’s monologue, barking out a response in his grumbled character voice for Damon. He was easily the most committed to having one, everyone else slipping in and out of theirs during each session.

“Fuck you! You won’t carry on with kidnapping and selling people anymore.” Kanji then narrated his character gripping onto his staff tighter.

Chie was the next to speak, puffing out her chest so that she could project Ashe’s words. “Yeah, we’ll make sure your plans are ended here and now.”

Yukiko describes her character Gwen reaching out to grab on to Chie’s arm softly, much like in real life, their characters were dating. She carefully describes the moment of locked eye contact their characters share, the concern from the wood elf melting away as the half-orc’s intensity spreads to her.

“I’ll kill you myself if I have too.” Yosuke’s character hissed as he takes a few steps forward, hand landing on the dagger he has snug on his belt.

“Let’s not rush into anything stupid guys!” Rise’s character Monique cries out as the gnome takes a few fearful steps back.

“We’ll just have to protect one another, Teddie says!” The bear responds, then in painful detail describes how his character licks at his own paws before Yu cuts him off.

“Pierce draws his bow and trains it at Vinear.” He says out of character, earning a smirk from Naoto across the table.

Before Naoto speaks, he swiftly scoops up his dice in his own and gives them a shake.

“Roll for initiative, you foolish bastards.”

After the sound of dice hitting the table, the party launches into battle with Vinear and their goons. Naoto was quick to go after Chie’s character first, but Kanji’s kept her covered. The party of explorers seemed to be winning, until Naoto unleashed a final beast form of the villian, who was set ablaze and causing fire to begin to envelope the room, leaving no escape route.

Teddie and Rise’s characters were focused on putting out the fire so they could help victims escape the deteriorating building. Kanji’s character was supporting the fighting characters, trying to keep them from getting knocked down or severely injured. Yukiko and Yu’s were on distractions while Yosuke and Chie’s went in for direct attacks.

When Naoto directed Yosuke to roll a saving dexterity throw, the team wasn’t nervous. That was Tex’s peak stat, and even Yosuke looked smug as he threw his dice on the table.

So when he failed, the whole room went silent for a moment.

“How far away is Pierce from Tex?” Yu asks quickly, dice already in hand as he looks to Naoto.

“Tex is about 6 ft away from you.” He replies, and Yu doesn’t even have to think for another second before making his next move.

“Okay, can I push Tex out of the way of the blast?” Naoto nods. “I’m doing that, now.”

Yosuke tries to protest, but Yu is already rolling. Not much better than Yosuke had either.

“Pierce, you are able to push Tex completely out of the way of danger, but you aren’t able to completely dodge it yourself. The blast knocks you back a couple of feet and you hit the ground, taking 5 points of damage.” Naoto explains, and Yu sighs harshly through his teeth.

“Sensei, how many hit points do you have left?” Teddie questions, seeing as it’s basically the only mechanic he understood about the game.

Yu smiles sheepishly as he responds. “Seems only two.”

Rise gasps as Yosuke shoots Yu a panicked look.

“Tex runs over to where Pierce is now.” Yosuke says suddenly, and Naoto sighs, allowing it since they haven’t been following the rules strictly to begin with.

“What the hell man?” Yosuke says in his character’s voice, describing how the tiefling is quick to his knees and begins softly cradling the human’s head in his lap. Yosuke’s looking at Yu with heat behind his eyes and Yu has to look away before he turns red.

“I had too. That blow could have been--” Yu’s character coughs harshly, causing Yosuke’s to hold onto him tighter. “Been your last.”

“You’re so fucking stupid, you’re barely hanging on right now.” Tex exclaims, and Pierce just laughs lightly.

“Losing you would cause more hurt than some burn ever could, Yosuke.” Yu doesn’t even register his slip up, but Yosuke flushes and Chie groans from across the table.

“Jesus. Get a room you two.” Kanji huffs, head in his hands.

“I never want to hear either of you say anything about how Chie and I act again.” Yukiko says sternly, causing Naoto to chuckle.

“Uh guys? We are still in the middle of a bear-y important battle.” Teddie points out, somehow causing Yosuke to become even more embarrassed as he drops his head onto his partner’s shoulder.  

“As Tex and Pierce do their uh, gay shit,” Rise starts, reading over her character sheet. “I’m gonna cast vicious mockery.”

The session gets back on track, and finished up quick seeing as Naoto kept it hidden that this wasn’t the true end and they still have more to investigate. Yosuke spent his turns trying to drag Yu’s character away from danger and heal him slowly while the others continued to rescue kidnapped and throw hands at the villain.

Chie and Yukiko deal the final blow with a double attack, and the party rejoices. Finally Kanji has his character make time to heal Yu’s fully.

Now only where the human and tiefling were shamed in the game for being useless gays, but their creators where as well.

[saintsnsinnersbdb]

Teaching Manners

Written by @TorhSASRP and @Leethall_SASBDB.

Tohr: *Following my talk with the Cop, I head back downstairs after dropping by the kitchen for a quick pot of coffee to take with me. I still had some business to attend to though that was supposed to happen after the trainees left.

I wasn’t about to hurry that along, as I knew it would be no good to risk Rhage coming by to see how the trainees were doing and seeing his son speaking to another Brother. Not exactly good territory to pop into, besides Rhage had no idea what I had planned aside from a little interrogation, lowkey obviously considering Leethall wasn’t exactly an enemy. Just a very loose cannon that needed straightening.

Inside the office I continued my admin work for a few more hours while drinking the coffee. Once I was done, I changed out of my everyday-wear and into my leathers, as if I was about to go outside. Family or not, Leethall was still walking into an interrogation, not a casual chat. I needed to look like a Brother, since I would be acting as one. I placed myself dead center on the gym-mat, my shitkickers sinking into the blue material as it gave way under my weight. A good signal of raw power and authority to send indeed.*

Leethall: Leethall spent his time pacing around his assigned room. Frustrated with the King and Queen’s decisions about his punishment were flying high and he was about as pissed off as he could be. Not only had they demanded he worked for a Shadow of all things but he was also to take part in the Brotherhood training program, taking orders from a group of males he had no respect for in any way, shape or form. But as a cherry on top of the fuck-you cake, he was required to start bonding with his father, the Brother Rhage. Or try to, at the very least. If not for his own sake then because it was his mahmen’s wish.

Leethall was very aware of that and obviously, so was the Queen. He got changed into the sports clothing that had been provided for him and started heading down into the gym, knowing he was getting 1-on-1 training with the Brother Tohrment for the night, though Leethall didn’t quite know why the special treatment. Could it be because he was confirmed to be directly blood-related to a Brother? It that was the case, they were just as stuck-up as he had always thought them to be. Fucking elitists so far up their own ass, they forgot the moon shines at night.

Once down in the training center he saw Tohrment, fully geared in black leather and probably armed to the teeth. The Brothers were said to always be armed, especially when dressed in their signature look, just like Tohrment was now. Leethall got onto the mat, his blue eyes fixed on the male in front of him. Clearly this was not going to be much about flapping jaws.

Tohr: *I watched as Leethall entered the gym, looking just like any other trainee. Fuck, the little shit looked so much like Hollywood, it was almost uncanny. Same walk, the same blue eyes, chiseled face though the hair was a bit darker than Rhage’s. They could almost be brothers, but I guess that was natural given how young Hollywood was when he assisted Leethall’s mahmen in her needing. But no time for observing the family resemblance. For now, I had an interrogation to get through. An interrogation and a manual adjustment of attitudes.*

So … you’re the kid that’s been driving Rhage up the walls and had him howling to the moon like a fucking wolf, hmm? You don’t look like much, but of course…

*With lightning speed I slam my fist into Leethall’s jaw, leaving a nice bruise to form.*

I can fix that part of you. Or rather, I can beat out that attitude you carry around. Might turn you into something mildly agreeable.

*I say as I start using every fighting skill I have from my time in the Brotherhood, beating the little punk to an absolute pulp. As much as I enjoy seeing the kid bruise up and feeling his bones give way under my fists and feet, I know I need to stop, to get some information out of him. The kid didn’t just appear out of thin air, he was hiding somewhere. And something had brought him out of hiding, and I needed to find out what it was.

I stop the beating as I managed to get the kid into a death-hold, pressing him onto the floor and letting him feel how easily I could break his arms if I wanted to.*

Now let’s have a little chat, shall we? Why did you come to Caldwell? *I ask, my voice harsh and my tone leaving no doubt I wasn’t in the mood for any lip or bullshit answers.*

Leethall: Leethall was just about to spit a response back at Tohrment, objecting to him not being agreeable, when the fist hit him square in the jaw. In hindsight, Leethall would often wonder why the hell the thing didn’t shatter from the punch. In the here-and-now however, all he could do was try to defend himself from the onslaught of fists, knees, feet and whatever else coming his way from the Brother.

Leethall wasn’t an unskilled fighter and certainly not an inexperienced one, yet up against Tohrment, a seasoned veteran and a Brother, Leethall might as well have been newly transitioned and still getting used to his body. He could barely get a punch in, but did manage to slam his shoulder into Tohr’s chest, pushing the brother back. Bad. Fucking. Move. As a result, Leethal fell right into a tight grip, being bent over with his arms locked behind his back, dangerously close to snapping.

He growled from frustration, his temper starting to show, though Tohr’s almost booming voice kept him levelled. Of all things, the Brother was interrogating him, mid-battle. To hell with his snarkiness, Leethall needed to cough up answers. Might as well make the best of things, and he was in town to help. Might as well alert the Brothers as to why he was there.

“I picked up a rumour … females getting captured by lessers. I came to investigate and a lesser informant outside of Caldwell dropped the name of a bar, but it was a dead end.” Leethall said, gritting his teeth to endure the pain the hold was causing him. “The lessers might be trying to starve the race to extinction or some shit like that. They’re sick enough to try.”

Leethal trembled under Tohr’s hold, wanting to break free but not willing to risk the well-being of his limbs in the process.

Tohr: *The shoulder in my chest surprised me. Who knew the kid would be bold enough to try a full on bodyslam? Gutsy, but far from a good idea in terms of technique and gaining the upper hand. Brute force was not always the best way of fighting, as proven by the hold I’d gotten the kid into as I interrogated him.

I listened to the kid giving me the information, and so far it wasn’t sounding like a complete bunch of lies. Certainly what he said about the lessers being sick was beyond true. Though the lack of detail was something I couldn’t let go*

Where did you pick up the rumor?! *I ask and give his arms a yank. I’m not even close to letting him go just yet*

Leethall: Leethal let out a groan of pain as Tohr continued the hold, pulling at him as he continued the interrogation. Clearly Tohr was not going to let up until he had a full picture, and as Leethall remembered the punishment he had been given by the King and Queen, he wasn’t about to hide anything. Might as well bring out the entire truth and holyfully gain control of his body again before he ended up in the infirmary for weeks.

“Friend of mine has a safehouse out west. Her cousin disappeared and she asked me to have a sniff around, see what I could come up with. I followed a trail of lessers back to the city but it was a dead end. Before I could pick up a new lead, Ehlena was being attacked by lessers and I saved her … then she brought me here. You know the rest.”

Leethall said everything in more of a hurry than he had intended. It came out as if he had blurted but he didn’t pay it much attention. He wanted Tohr to let go, and this seemed to be the one way of achieving that.

Tohr: *I listen to the kid talk and talk, everything adding up. If he was telling the truth, they had a real shitshow on their hands. Females going missing was not a good thing by any means. Could the lessers be targetting females for their torture cabins? Fuck, I hope not.*

I’m going to need her contact info, including her name and how to reach her. We’re going to look into this.

Leethall: Leethall nodded. “I’ll text them to you. Her name, address and her phone number.” He swore and closed his eyes to withstand the pain. He gritted his teeth and he could feel Tohrment put his weight into the hold, putting immense pressure on his body.

Tohr: *I smirk as I lean in over the kid, knowing he can feel my weight and is dangling close to the edge of his knees buckling under him.Yet, I can’t help but admire him for keeping up the fight and enduring the torture as well as he does. It’s impressive, to say the least.*

Now just one more thing before we’re done. Rhage is my Brother, annoying as fuck but deep down a good guy and someone who has my back always. If I ever hear that you mouthed off to him again, hurt him in any way or acted like a prick in his vicinity, rest assured it won’t just be me peeling the skin off your ass. It will be every brother taking turns kicking your face in until even the scribe virgin won’t recognize you as one of her own, you feel me kid?!

*With force, I push the kid to the ground, releasing my hold before I walk away.* Hit the showers, kid. You’re untrained and unrefined but we’ll fix that soon enough. You have potential. *I call out as I walk off. I fish out my cell-phone and send a group text to my Brothers.*

~We have a major fucking problem. Meeting ASAP.~

Leethall: Leethall fall to the floor with an embarrassing yelp, his body sore from the very little training session he had gotten. Sparring with Tohrment was definitely different than the street-brawling Leethall had participated in before. Of course, he was sure that him being cooped up in a medical suite for a few days hadn’t helped. He was out of shape and unaware that Tohr would be so direct in the training. But nonetheless, the problem he had come to investigate was now being looked into by the Brotherhood. Perhaps not all a bad deal.

He hurried to the showers and got himself cleaned up, noticing his face getting a little wonky from the bruises Tohr had provided. Fucking brillint. Another thing to tell Mehgan when he saw her next. Rather, if he saw her again. His little show with Rhage when she had last been there hadn’t exactly earned him any gentlemale points and he wouldn’t blame her if she decided not to see him again based on how much of an ass he had been. Fuck, he really needed to stop being angry at the guy and instead follow the Queen’s demand, not to mention his mahmen’s last wish.

“Get a family, if you are so able,” he mumbled and shook his head. At that point he decided to try and be less of an asswipe and be more open. Perhaps starting with apologizing to Rhage … well shit, apologizing to his father. And accept that he had a father now. Yeah, that’d be a good start, and if he didn’t get his ass further kicked, that’d be good too.

Tohr: *I meet up with my Brothers in Wrath’s study. My arms folded and my brow furrowed. Good thing vampires didn’t wrinkle easily or I’m sure I’d look like Fritz by now. I had previously called Leethall’s contact in the west and have written up a small report based on what she had told me.*

Leethall informed me that females are going missing in Caldwell and it’s been confirmed by a few sources both in and out of the city, *I say as I start pacing.* So, is Lash up to his old tricks? We haven’t seen tortured bodies left dead in a long while and he doesn’t trust the lessers after the Omega replaced his Fore Lesser with his boy toy. So, what is the Omega’s plan? These lessers are targeting females and keeping them and we need to figure out why and where and then put a top to that operation before information is spilled. *I say and look to my Brothers as a whole.*

We need the civilians to know that if anyone goes missing, we need to know immediately, and the families need to arrange for emergency accommodation. No safe-houses or anything, but temporary housing the victims will not know of. *I continue and shake my head.* Then we can stake out the family homes in case the lessers return, hoping we put a stop to this before a new wave of raids can happen. We don’t need that kind of purge on our hands, not again.

[artificialqueens]

Coming Home Chapter 8 (Shalaska) - Jem

Summary: to be young and wild and free

Chapter 8

Sharon and Alaska were both out, and Violet had the whole apartment to herself. She was pretty sure Sharon was working, and Alaska had said something about visiting a couple friends for dinner, but she couldn’t remember exactly. She was just appreciating her alone time when her cellphone rang and she didn’t recognize the number.

“Violet?” She hadn’t known who to expect but it certainly hadn’t been Matt.

“How did you get my number?” She couldn’t remember ever giving him any of her contact info.

“Trixie gave it to me.”

“Oh ok.” Violet said. “What’s up? Have you recovered from New Year’s yet?” He’d been pretty piss-drunk, but it had been a few days.

“Can I come over?” Matt ignored her question, sounding a bit desperate.

“Um…” Though rationally she knew she was allowed to have people over, it seemed a little weird that Matt might be the first of her friends to see her house.

“Please?”

“Yeah, of course.” She obliged.

He sounded really distraught, and Violet wasn’t a horrible person, so she could at least be sympathetic. She texted him her address and patiently went to wait in the living room.

Matt arrived only about 20 minutes later, and he must have walked or taken the bus because Violet never saw a car pull up.

“What’s going on?” She asked as soon as she let the boy in.

“I just needed to get out of there.” He didn’t seem to want to elaborate, so Violet didn’t push him. She could relate to not wanting to talk about a shitty home life. That had been her trying to make conversation most of her life. She had sensed there was something rough with Matt’s family pretty early on. Not that it was an excuse for him being kind of shitty sometimes.

“C’mon in.” She invited Matt to take off his shoes and brought him into the living room. Violet couldn’t help but be a little self-conscious as he looked around the small space, inspecting every surface carefully.

“These your foster parents?” He asked. He’d found a photo on the mantle of Sharon and Alaska. It looked like it was a couple years old. Sharon’s hair was bleached nearly white, not it’s current black, and she smiled at the camera as Alaska was giving her a kiss on the cheek. It was sickeningly cute, if Violet was being honest.

“They look pretty young.”

“They are.” Violet agreed. “Sharon’s thirty or so I think. Alaska is a couple years younger maybe.”

“I guess that’s the perk of not having biological children. No teenage pregnancy but you get to be a young parent.” Matt remarked.

“I guess…” It wasn’t weird for Matt to ask awkward questions, especially when it came to parent things, but he seemed particularly upset today. “Matt, are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

She invited him to her room after offering him something to eat or drink–he declined. Violet tried not to be awkward, but she’d never had any friends over to her house. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed, really. She loved Sharon and Alaska’s little apartment even though it was small. It just felt really personal to have anyone in what had become her safe space.

“Tell me more about your foster parents.” Matt didn’t look at Violet as he sat down on her bed. He seemed to want a distraction, and normally Violet wouldn’t have obliged, but they’d become almost friends?

“Um… Well they’re adopting me, so they won’t be my foster parents much longer.”

Matt leaned back on the bed, getting comfortable, so Violet continued.

“Alaska is an artist, and she has a studio next door and everything. Sharon has an office job during the day but I think she sings or something at a bar downtown too.”

“They sound pretty cool.” It was nice to hear that Matt was being better about the whole, lesbian thing.

“They are.” Violet agreed. “Like, they’re both pretty young but they seem to have done a lot in their lives already; travelling, school, different jobs. Sharon even won a pretty big pageant quite a few years back.”

Matt was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again, and Violet wasn’t sure if he was really listening to what she was saying. He seemed very lost in his own head.

“Are your parents dead, or were they just shitty?” He asked out of the blue.

“My mom’s in jail. My dad could be dead for all I know.” Violet answered even though he was being unfair. He knew she didn’t really like to talk about her past. “Matt, are your parents abusing you?” She asked outright. Violet had been through enough in her life that she didn’t feel like beating around the bush.

“I don’t know.” He answered, and that worried Violet. “No.” He continued, more surely this time.”I just suddenly feel like I’m questioning everything they’ve ever told me because they can’t be right with what I know now.”

“What do you know now?”

“That everything’s not black and white. Not people, not feelings, not anything.” Matt elaborated. “I’m sorry, we should have fun. I need to stop.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a joint and a lighter. “Wanna share?” He asked, lighting it and passing it to Violet.

She nodded and took a puff. As Matt began to smoke, his mood seemed to improve. Violet could feel her anxiety melting away too.

Somehow, Matt convinced her to look through the kitchen cupboards for some alcohol. They found a half-empty bottle of vodka and did shots out of a plastic IKEA cup. Violet allowed herself not to worry about drinking; she was literally in the safest place to be doing it. Besides, she was starting to have fun, and Sharon and Alaska were probably going to be out until late.

She allowed herself to be a little bit reckless, and it wasn’t like when she’d been in some of her previous homes. She’d been really angry and rebellious for a long time and had caused her fair share of trouble. But she’d never gotten to be a kid, or even a teenager really, and it was nice to be a bit more free now that her life didn’t revolve around rebelling against the foster system and its fucked-up nature.

Her and Matt talked for a long time, and he suddenly got an idea once they were both past tipsy.

“You said Sharon won a pageant, does she have, like, a crown?”

“Yeah, it’s a big shiny silver thing that probably weighs like a good ten pounds.”

“We should take it.”

“And do what?”

“I don’t know, put it on and take photos or something?” Matt seemed excited. “Oh my god wouldn’t that be so funny?”

“I don’t know Matt….”

“C'mon Violet, we’ll put it right back after.”

The two snuck into Sharon and Alaska’s closet.

“Ooh la la, look at this!” Matt squealed, grabbing something from the back of the closet. As he turned, Violet saw that he was holding a pink, transparent negligée over his body.

“Oh my god, put that back!” Violet hissed at him.

“Come on Vi, it’s pretty.”

“I don’t want to think about either of my foster moms wearing that, ew.” Violet squeezed her eyes shut, trying to forget the image that had popped into her head.

“They’re both kinda hot, even if they are a bit old for my tastes.” Matt continued to dance around in the offensive garment.

“Ew ew ew, please stop talking right now.” Violet couldn’t even look at him. “Let’s just get the crown and get out of here.”

Matt finally dropped the lingerie on the ground. “It’s here!” He yelled. He stood on his toes to reach the shiny silver headpiece, pulling it down to Violet’s eye level.

“Wow.” Matt gasped, in awe. It was strange almost to see the boy enjoying things that seemed so feminine, and it was nice that he was actually enjoying himself and admiring something so beautiful.

Violet felt the same way. It was a really beautiful and ornate crown. It had such a power to it, especially due to its towering size. It was hard to imagine anyone wearing such a thing, especially Sharon “spooky mom” Needles.

Violet danced around while they got ready for their impromptu photo shoot. She did some quick makeup and put on the highest heels in Sharon and Alaska’s closet. This wasn’t about looking polished; it was a chance for her and Matt to subvert all the conventions that had been set for them in life.

“I don’t know where would be a good place for photos in here.” Everywhere she looked around the apartment seemed too domestic, covered in tasteful beige and white that was very honey, but not glamorous.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Matt asked. “I have an idea.”

They walked about twenty minutes to a part of town Violet had never visited before. She complained the whole way because she was carrying an array of clothes to change into, and some of that stuff was fucking heavy. Matt lead her around the back of an old, worn out building, and she didn’t question him when the lock was clearly already broken. They found themselves in a basement filled with mannequins, clothing racks, and a bunch of full length mirrors. It was the right amount of grunge and glamour for this shoot.

“Ooh, bitch, this is perfect!” Violet exclaimed as she looked around the room. “What is this place?”

“I think it must have been an old costume shop or something.” Matt said rather nonchalantly. She didn’t bother asking how he’d found the abandoned shop; at this point she was too excited to get started.

Violet went to the back of the room, where there was a closet/dressing room of a sort. She changed into an outfit and touched up her makeup in the mirror. When she got back out, Matt had turned on the battery operated lamps around the room, and was taking a swig straight from the bottle of vodka they’d stolen from the house.

Feeling confident, Violet took the booze from his hands and did the same, barely noticing the burn now. She slipped on her heels, and posed a bit unsteadily, wearing Sharon’s crown. She put on some music on her phone, and was glad when Matt began to dance with her. They took turns taking some shots of each other, and they were just shitty iPhone photos because neither of them had a proper camera. Somehow, that felt right. Matt seemed so much more free now, and he added some lipstick and a pearl necklace to his look once he was more confident. Violet didn’t question it for a second. She could barely stand up straight (a combination of the alcohol, the heels, and probably the giddiness) and she basked in the feeling of not having a care in the world. This is what being young was all about, and even though there were only too of them there, the room was full of energy.

The world spun and suddenly, they were together in the dressing room, and the music was still blaring and there were clothes strewn out everywhere and Matt was standing really close to her. Before Violet could do anything his lips were on hers, smudging her dark lipstick as she was pressed up against the shaky wall.

“Matt.” She mumbled through the kiss, feeling weird and confused. He didn’t seem to hear her. “Matt!” She yelled, pushing him off her a little too hard.

He hit the opposite wall with a thud, and it was like the haze cleared.

“What the fuck, Violet?” He asked her. “I thought you liked me.”

“I don’t know.” Violet was feeling panicked. “I don’t know what I like.” She stood there shaking for awhile, not knowing how to elaborate. Matt stared her down for a few seconds, waiting, before breaking eye contact.

He left the small room in a huff, and Violet felt like she was floating and not in a pleasant way. Everything was just so confusing and for the first time in awhile she didn’t know what she was feeling about anything. Did she like Matt? She didn’t know… it’s like she thought she did, but his mouth felt weird on hers. She was a lot more drunk than she really liked to be anymore, and she began to see how not-in-control she was of this whole situation. They’d just broken into an abandoned building to take photos, with stolen booze and a stolen crown, and fuck, how could she have been so stupid?

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash, and Matt’s voice saying: “shit.”

She got back out into the main room to see Sharon’s crown in pieces. Neither of them moved or breathed for a second and then Violet collected herself and spoke as calmly as she could. “I need you to leave.” She told Matt as she gingerly reached for the shattered pieces of metal all over the floor. Who knew something so grand could be so delicate?

“Violet, I’m so sorry, I’ll help you.” Matt sounded guilty, but at this point she couldn’t deal with everything happening around her, even if it wasn’t really his fault.

“Please, Matt, just go.”

She cleaned up the stuff as much as she could, but the place looked trashed and there was no hope of collecting all of the crown, let alone fixing it. So she wiped the makeup off her face and did the only thing she could think to do: call Alaska.

“Violet?” Alaska’s voice sounded worried, and Violet wasn’t sure how late it was but it was dark outside and everything was a mess.

“Mom?” Violet found herself close to tears. “Can you come get me?”