#but seriously though it is interesting to me how ppl have invented ways to stop caring about women but in a progressive way

[empyreasheart]

ok i am making one last post about fandom misogyny before i put it on a shelf so i stop getting so mad: noticing that m/f and f/f ships kinda receive the same disdain / apathy makes me feel like once a woman is involved people either get mad or dont care Lmfao

[debbiewilder]

top 5 debbie/ruth moments?

oh tough because first of all every moment between them is my favorite, but here’s what I’m feeling tonight, in no particular order.

1)

that entire fight scene at the hospital in 2x07. the whole series was building there, to them finally communicating more honestly, and it was just such a powerful, cathartic scene between the two of them.

this is cheating but I'm also counting a later moment as part of #1 because reasons

i love that moment when debbie comes back later in the ep with ruth’s clothes and asks to sign ruth’s cast but is so nervous and vulnerable she can’t even say the word sign she just says “can i s....” and just looks at ruth the whole time that she’s taking the pen from bash and waits for the okay. they can never really apologize to each other, ruth doesn't apologize for having sex w mark and debbie only apologizes in sharpie from the leg break but you just see how deeply they understand each other here and how at the end of the day they always come back to each other and take each other back (just like sheila’s parents bc ruth and debbie are paralleled to married people jeez GLOW yeah you can go ahead and parallel them to more married couples I’m fine with that thx)

2)

the whole 3x10 airport scene. throughout the series, debbie shows how deeply she cares about ruth but it’s rly always under the guise of it being about wrestling or this or that. finally in that airport moment, debbie’s basically saying “hey i care about you and i finally want you to really see that and I choose you because I want the best for you and i want the best for me and the best for me is with you..” (or something) and there’s just something incredibly powerful about the way the series builds to that moment too. 

i also find it so interesting how they once again discuss happiness and how much the meaning of that one word has shifted over the series (they also discuss happiness in their scenes in 1x01, 2x07, 2x10, and prob other times i’ve forgotten). 

also i love the hug, i mean we were waiting for it to happen again since the pilot. 

i love that we finally get to see that ruth isn’t going to passively take what others give her. (we know she’ll find her way back to debbie in the end, she always does).

and ruth saying that debbie understands ruth more than anyone?!! this scene  did that. i mean, we knew this in subtext, but this season took so much in subtext and made it text, and it all felt so earned. also the fact that Debbie says to Tex earlier in the ep that she could never say to Ruth what she legit ends up saying to Ruth in the end of the ep about Ruth’s acting...I...that’s so interesting. Like, yeah, Debbie truly does understand Ruth better than anyone, that is for sure. She legit predicted that Ruth’d say no here but was too excited and hopeful to think otherwise.

also debbie eagan who doesn’t like to be vulnerable w ppl or give up her power/control EVER, who has said stuff like i never want to see you again to ruth in the pilot, who said in 1x03 she’d throw ruth out a window if ruth talked to her again, legit running after ruth in an airport? invented romance, invented growth. what a dumbass, i love them both.

3)

1x04 pool scene. debbie can’t be in the same building w her husband but moments later chooses to stay for however long in silence w ruth...uh yeahh just the best. she has to act like she hates ruth because she knows that she shouldn’t care about ruth any more and she feels so powerless since her whole identity as housewife has been shattered that her hatred gives her a sense of control and power in ways, but in moments like these when she doesn’t have to act and have a mask on to protect herself because no one is watching, you see how much she cares and what ruth means to her. 

i love so much about this scene, the way silence and sound are used and it feels so intimate. i love the pool in between them, showing the gaping emotional distance between them.

it’s also such a contrast to those scenes w Mark who is always imposing on debbie what he wants at his pace rather than hers like therapeutic leans and wanting to sleep in their house but w ruth, debbie gets to choose the speed to which they come back together and is willing to be whatever debbie wants and takes debbie (her pain, her career, her as a person) seriously, so they actually get a chance to heal while debbie and mark fall apart in the end...yeahh

4)

1x09 that scene where debbie says what wrestling means to her and how she feels like a superhero (which becomes something they come back to again and again in the series) and you can tell ruth and debbie are still so fucked up but you can also see how deeply they need each other. 

like they’re so playful in the start of the convo?? and in the end can’t help but have an honest conversation even though they shouldn’t, even though ruth has hurt debbie so much, she can’t help but open up to ruth. and ruth thinks debbie’s going to abandon ruth (and GLOW) for mark, can’t seem to hear what debbie’s saying bc of insecurity (Debbie really just needs advice about what to do with Mark because she has no one else to talk to but Ruth can’t hear that), and it’s just such a perfect scene filled with miscommunication and need and the epicness of Debbie’s description of wrestling and the epicness of how Ruth listens with such intense longing and love and she’s just so proud of Debbie too and then that painful discovery “Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.” I think we see both ruth and debbie’s insecurities and fears here in a lot of ways throughout this scene but also we see their connection and how they listen to each other and need each other...also omg they look at each other with soooo much love and longing jfc especially before Ruth looks away and she cuts herself off from speaking...it’s insane.....yeah i love this scene.

oh also the look of brief horror as ruth arrives at a lone debbie at the beginning of the scene, which I screenshotted above, where she realizes she’s stopped at debbie’s side and her face just screams, “oh nooo oh goddd!!” incredible. and the doorway thingy that visually separates them which happens a lot in the series, there are a lot of visual separations to go with their emotional distance. 

anyway, they’re testing the waters here. they’ve opened up to each other while wrestling because wrestling requires trust and communication, and this scene gives them an opportunity to test the waters with each other outside of that.  

5)

I think my favorite episode of the entire series is 1x07. In terms of favorite moment from that ep, it’d prob be the part where ruth and debbie describe what they want from wrestling. debbie says she wants to fly (again goes back to the superhero thing and i love the callback that occurs in 1x10 bc ruth pays attention to debbie’s wants here and says “you flew” at the end of their match in the finale). ruth says she wants the whole room to boo her, such a change over a few eps, the people pleaser who wants to be booed bc she just wants to make herself look bad to try and heal things w debbie and starts to find freedom and power in playing the bad guy. 

And the two are soo in sync as Carmen’s brothers show Ruth and Debbie various moves. Like they have the same reaction the whole time and confer with each other and it’s so cute?? And Debbie gets so excited as she sees something she wants to do and Ruth is so excited for her: “That. I want to do that.”

Like, ruth is just so excited to see how debbie’s grown and how empowered debbie has become because of wrestling. Adorable. and it’s super cute to see how ruth looks at debbie throughout the scene and just tries to be there for debbie. And, how much debbie trusts ruth with her body and safety and they just learn to communicate and explore what they want from their bodies together (such a difference from that 1x01 exercise scene where they’re all doing the same boring moves). like i love how empowering that scene is for them as individuals and together ok. 

Like, Ruth is Debbie’s #1 fan just look at her lil face in the screenshots above. She looks at her like that the whole episode. I just...

[mental-health-advice]

i don't know if i've been maladaptive daydreaming? i recently read about it and some of the things that ppl do who have it, i also do? but i don't know if i'm just daydreaming a normal amount! at night i do think up lil scenarios in my head with like my fave charas (like i'll imagine myself as a character in my fave movie and friend w/ my fave characters) but i thought everyone kind of did that? it's not stopping me from living my life. i do it sometimes in the day but that's usually- (tag stog)

(Stog) - when i'm alone and doing some sorta task at work and i'm just doing it to pass the time. i don't invent my own characters. i don't think I get attached? i like to act out situations in my head that are emotional (e.g. a fight or something w/ a chara) but it's only like acting in that moment. i don't like actually get angry and upset at these fictional ppl. i am attached to the characters in the movie or show I watch though, but isn't that normal to like fictional characters? i'm-

(Stog) -really aware of my daydreaming now and i don't know if i shouldn't be doing it?? everybody daydreams don't they? i like doing it but i don't take it seriously, i don't think these things are real, they don't stop me from completeing tasks. Very rarely i can't get to sleep sometimes because something is replaying in my head over and over but it's not me thinking about it on purpose and it's usually something random like a stupid jingle from and advert or thinking about what I did that day

Hi Stog,

This is a really interestingquestion! I think there’s a really fine line between normal daydreaming andmaladaptive daydreaming. The best way to figure out the difference between thetwo is to go over the signs of maladaptive daydreaming.

The signs may include:

Thedaydreaming is excessive and can be compared to an addiction;

Thisexcessive daydreaming started in childhood (in most cases);

Mediasuch as books, movies, videogames, etc. can trigger the daydreaming;

Youcould compare the daydreaming to a movie or novel, the daydreams are verydetailed and elaborate;

It’scommon to fall into repetitive moments while daydreaming, such as pacing,rocking, spinning, shaking something in their hand, etc;

Sometimesthe sufferer may make facial expressions, talk, laugh, cry or gesture whiledaydreaming. They do know the difference between their daydreams and reality,they just prefer the daydreams. However because they know their daydreamsaren’t real, they are different from people suffering from psychosis orschizophrenia;

Suffererswill spend hours in bed daydreaming and might have trouble falling asleep orgetting out of bed because of their daydreaming. The daydreaming can be to suchan extent that it causes the sufferers to neglect their basic needs (meals,showering, etc.).

(taken from our page onmaladaptive daydreaming)

So, looking at those signs,the biggest difference is really how disruptive the daydreaming is. It’s truethat most people daydream, but those with maladaptive daydreaming spend a lotmore time in their daydreaming, they don’t necessarily choose when they aregoing to daydream, and it gets in the way of their daily life. It takes up alot of their time and definitely goes beyond what typical daydreaming entails.Some people with maladaptive daydreaming don’t even realize in the moment thatthey are daydreaming and some would say they prefer daydreaming over reality.

Maladaptive daydreamingtechnically isn’t considered a diagnosable illness, but it’s still completelyvalid and you can still seek help for it. I can’t say whether you have it ornot, so you should consider seeking professional help to find out for sure.Even though maladaptive daydreaming isn’t something that can be diagnosed quiteyet, there are still treatment options for people who suffer from it. Thosetreatment options usually involve therapy (talk therapy, cognitive-behavioraltherapy, etc.) or medication in some cases. Because of that, if you areconcerned that you may be struggling with this, don’t be deterred from seekinghelp just because it’s not an official diagnosis yet. We have some informationabout getting help here if you’re wondering how you can reach out.

I hope this makes sense! Feelfree to let us know if there’s anything else that we can do to help.

-Samantha