#but same taek same

[jynandor]

I hope that everyone who confesses today has their love come true. And, by any chance, if there is anyone who hasn't been confessed to by the one they love yet… or, if you're suffering from love-related pains... don't be too sad.

Another person may be in love with you, right now.

And they may just confess to you out of the blue.

That they've liked you for a long time, even though you were totally unaware.

[essentiallykpopandbl]

The Eighth Sense was special, and it was something that I really needed in my life right now. These two characters showed us it is ok to be scared. Even if you are broken, it is ok to fight for what you want. It is ok to be in love, in whatever form that comes in. That life hurts, and is unfair, and might not seem like it is worth it anymore. But there will always be people there for you and there is always a brighter side. Jihyun and Jae Won might be two of the strongest characters. And I think that is important to show how strong they are with everything they have gone through. Thank you to Oh Jun Taek and Lim Ji Sub for the grace in which you played these characters. This is one of those shows I wish I had when I was younger and was just really lost. Back in the days of me searching the internet for any queer media I could find.... yeah, this would have changed my life.

[aaa-vixx-aaa]

wips?

[sarah-hairclip]

sarah can you pretty please let nea have enrichment time with violet just for a little bit

noooooo no way >:(

[dramastream]

Stop it. Focus on protecting your family. I will. I’ll protect them with my life. And that family… includes you. This is the ring I put on your finger 13 years ago. It’s the same ring… I’ll put on your finger someday.

THE ATYPICAL FAMILY (2024) dir. Jo Hyun Taek

[babieken]

IT IS TAEKWOON

Omg shownu and leo in a the same musical????????

Also isnt that TAEKWOON ON THE RIGHT????

[ineffable-opinions]

BL “Censorship” & Commercialization

Content: 1. ubiquitous censorship - special focus on Japanese BL 2. commercial viability of live action BL & generalizations 3. solutions - special focus on state support of Thai BL 4. [update state-supported production of Love in the Big City series]

-

Censorship is a sensitive topic. I have tried my best. Please feel free to comment and critique.

-

-

History of Korean BL is one of censorship and commercialization and Korean fu-people has struggled against both. There have been different victors at different points in time. Aljosa Puzar’s "BL"(Boy Love), "GL"(Girl Love) and Female Communities of Practice and Affect in South Korea chronicles that struggle. (Highly recommended.)

-

I have tried to problematize BL commercialization before. But that was in the context of fu-culture and the commodity fetishism associated with the consumption of BL, particularly in live action form which is probably its most capitalist rendition for many many reasons.

Here I would like to look at it from another angle: censorship. This is a continuation of my earlier post (Why so many shonen ai live-action?) motivated by the live action adaptation of ‘조폭인 내가 고등학생이 되었습니다’ (I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student) by 호롤 (Ho Rol).

The live action has jumped genres switching from BL to 판타스틱 휴먼 드라마 (lit. fantasy human drama). This switch got it tagged as ‘Censored Adaptation of Same-sex Original Work’ on My Drama List. I personally don’t like that tag. Almost all BL adaptation is a censored adaptation, with notable exceptions like Sei no Gekiyaku. But no one uses that tag for, say, 25 Ji, Akasaka de (2024) which censored all sexual content, especially from the volume 1 of the manga which was critical to the story and the couple’s development in the original manga series’ and its multiple adaptations’ popularity. Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (2024) went as far as removing the more sexual second couple from the live action adaptation all together, yet it does not get a "censored" tag.

An interesting question that the controversy surrounding High School Return of a Gangster (2024) has sparked is that of BL media’s commercial viability, especially in live action form. Here’s what producers told the Korean newspaper, Hankook Ilbo, about the genre-jumping:

"BL 장르는 제작비 투자나 리쿱(제작비 회수)에 한계가 있는 게 사실이다. 그러다 보니 처음부터 이 작품은 브로맨스로 해보고 싶었다"

“The BL genre is limited in terms of investment in production costs and recoup (recovery of production costs). So, from the beginning, we planned it as a bromance (beulomaenseu).”

The author of this article cites examples of works that enjoyed success on OTT platforms, namely Watcha’s Semantic Error and TVing's Unintentional Love Story (2023). However, the article also highlights the fact that BL continues to be a niche genre and live action adaptations don’t guarantee success.

이성택 (Lee Seong Taek), the director of High School Return of a Gangster, previously directed the BL Love Class (2022). The producer 넘버쓰리픽쳐스 (Number Three Pictures Co., Ltd.) have BL works like Unintentional Love Story under its belt.

'Unintentional Love Story' Director Jang Eui-soon (장의순) | source

If the producer of one of the two most popular live action BL is admitting to it, then it is not easy to dismiss the issue of commercial viability of live action BL.

Very famous BL publishing houses (starting with JUNE) and hosting platforms with relatively lower expenses have struggled. Some of them are no more. It is also difficult for authors to survive merely on earnings from publishing houses and hosting platforms, especially when those platforms are not very rich. So, it is not difficult to imagine that live action production houses also struggle to survive.

Take GMMTV for example. They are probably one of the most successful BL producers. According to their managing director, BL content (series) is not a profitable business in itself. They rely on khujin (branded pairs) of actors to bring in advertisement revenue, merchandize sales, and pull crowds to concerts and fan-meets. It is not enough for actors to just act. They are expected to sing, dance and perform. Meanwhile, GMMTV is forced to keep working with these actor pairs and stick to templates that suit them. While it works for now, it remains to be seen how long the business model can last.

Now there is also investment from Mainland China that has migrated to other BL producers following dangai ban. But those who invest already burned themselves pretty bad with all the money they poured in during the short-lived but explosive dangai boom. It is sunk cost at this point. Another crack down could be the death knell for Chinese investments in BL. 

-

More generally, it is likely that commercial viability of a live action BL project hinges on the following:

#1 Target demographic

Like all other BL content, live action too is primarily targeted at fu-people (BL audience) – both queer and non-queer. The target demography is further sub-divided based on the type of BL and purchasing power.

Sweeter ones are supposed to appeal to all ages and that’s the area Thailand and GMMTV in particular are focused on. Most of Japanese BL series are sweet. Korea too produces sweet BL. However, they are unlikely to bring in explosive success the way odo BL (those following royal road narrative progression – wherein characters face significant challenges, interpersonal or otherwise, to reach happy ending).

Older and, perhaps more hard-core fans, are likely to support jado works (BL that follow the evil path where neither happy ending nor resolution to challenges are guaranteed) with surprising frequency. This might be partly due to the erotic content in jado works.

Purchasing power of BL fans vary widely. There are those who are

“sending gifts to their actors in Thailand, sending food trucks to their shooting locations, putting up billboard advertisements and doing charity events [as well as] ordering merchandise in bulk.”

They also travel to BL producing nations [on fan pilgrimages] and attend fan meetings, concerts and other events regularly.

(Source: The Print)

The other group of BL fans who are probably younger and/or can’t afford to show support in the above-mentioned ways. BL commercially benefits from being appealing to those with higher purchasing power.

#2 Popularity of original work in case of adaptation  

Popular BL novels, manhwa, etc. bring in a set of fans who are interested in the live action. Longer and more-acclaimed works are likely to ensure success of the live action given decent making and reasonable changes during adaptation. Semantic Error is a case in point. However, missteps during adaptation can have the opposite effect.

#3 Cost of production

It is difficult to get investment in the first place, especially with how niche the genre is. Moreover, higher cost of production sets the bar for success higher too.

On the other hand, high production quality and better cast and crew (likely more expensive too) makes the viewing more pleasurable and increases the likelihood of success.

There are other factors which influence the success of BL producers. The most popular BL live action from China, Addicted, was produced by the author, Chai JiDan, with a tiny budget. Its dangai family drama remake, Stay with Me, also has an interesting producer.

Source | Mame with her Japanese fans

Orawan Vichayawannakul’s MeMindY is another BL author led production company that has enjoyed considerable success.

OP Pictures’ entry into BL genre has also been successful.

-

Solutions

#1 Let’s start with the worst

BL as money laundering vehicle. It is probably the most obvious, sort of win-win until it isn’t. Sustainability depends how much skin the ruling class have in the game.

#2 State sponsorship

(or better yet, tax payer supported BL production)

State sponsorship is what Thailand has perfected.

source | 2023 seminar on "Beyond Borders: Exploring the Global Appeal and Diversity of Thailand's Boys' Love Contents" by 9 companies from Thailand organized by Department of International Trade Promotion under Thailand’s Ministry of Trade.

The eleven speakers, including an official from the Office of Commercial Affairs, Royal Thai Embassy in Japan, vigorously pitched partnerships with Japanese content companies [at the above-mentioned seminar.]

Also, several of the companies pitching at the seminar, such as Star Hunter Entertainment […] were plumping for BL not as a niche product but rather a core element of their corporate strategy.

Halo Productions representative Tewarat Supunnium [trumpeted] the vertical integration of his company, from talent representation to contents distribution.

source

Thai BL has been big hits in China, South Korea, Japan, India, Indonesia, the Philippines, and beyond, which has motivated Thailand’s government to ‘deploy Boys Love as its latest soft power weapon to promote the country on the global stage’. In an article published in The Nation, BL director, Bundit Sintanaparadee, explains how that affects production.

He pointed out that the international popularity of Thai shows can boost tourism and generate interest in the featured locations – a vital aspect of soft power. The government can facilitate this process by providing support and streamlining the bureaucratic obstacles to filming in attractive locations like Bangkok’s Chinatown district of Yaowarat.

Filming in iconic places such as Yaowarat can be costly and complicated due to the need to coordinate with multiple government agencies and pay location fees. Bundit said the government could simplify the process to benefit not just filmmakers but also tourist revenue in the locations.

Bundit also cautioned against a top-down approach to soft power, where the government dictates what represents Thailand on the world stage. He emphasises the need for industry professionals to have their say.

source

In a 2022 article, Bangkok Post explores the impact of BL on Thailand’s economy ‘as export products that can draw lucrative revenue streams and foster business opportunities in other areas, including tourism.’

[According to government estimates from 2021,] Thailand's Y content market was worth more than 1 billion baht... In June that year, the Department of International Trade Promotion held an online Y content business matching event to boost the industry, with the participation of 10 Thai content creators. More than 360 million baht was generated from the purchase of the Thai content, with the top three buyers coming from Japan, Taiwan and Vietnam.

Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, GMMTV's senior director of content production, said [that the] business ecosystem linked to Y Series in Thailand shows a growth of 30-40% per year. [He also said that] Y Series can also be a boon for other businesses, such as films, artist management and merchandise. [He mentioned] Y Series from Thailand [getting] translated into several languages [and one of their Y Series having received theatrical adaptation in South Korea.]

[According to] Kanokporn Prachayaset, chief commercial officer and country manager of WeTV Thailand, … Y Series from Thailand is one of the most popular content genres on its platform. [Half of all the BL content on the platform was Thai.] WeTV [was] sourcing Y Series from Asia as well as having its own WeTV original shows by working with various local production houses, such as GMMTV, TV Thunder, Dee Hup House, M Choice Studio and All This Entertainment. [She also highlighted the contribution of the fan base, which is] active in organising activities and campaigns for their idols.

Seksan Sripraiwan, director of the Tourism Authority of Thailand's (TAT) Tokyo office, said the TAT and the Royal Thai Embassy have actively promoted the country by using Thai entertainment [and that] Thai BL content is considered one of the most popular recent cultural exports to Japan. Japan's market for Thai BL is around 1 million viewers, of which 20,000-30,000 are heavily active on social media sites for renowned BL actors, led by Bright-Win and Krist-Singto. He said Japanese tour operators already offered tailor-made tour packages which contain elements related to BL TV series, such as shooting locations like universities, cafes, Wat Arun or the Amphawa floating market.

Kanokkittika Kritwutikon, director of the TAT Chengdu office, said Thai BL TV shows have gained popularity in China, such as the coming-of-age series "I Told Sunset About You", which helped drive tourists to Phuket, the main location of the story.

"Most Chinese BL fans are millennial females who can offer long-term support for their favourite actors," Mrs Kanokkittika said. [Recognizing the 3 million strong queer population of Chongqing,] she said the LGBT segment could be categorised as luxury travellers as they are high-income earners, live in key cities, and want to spend more for travel experiences.

source

Earlier this year Ministry of Commerce have partnered with Be On Cloud and Idol Factory to promote ‘Thai products, services, tourism, and culture by incorporating them seamlessly into’ their new series “Shine” and “Pin Phak” aka “The Loyal Pin” respectively.

“This will help create around 2 billion in value for Thailand’s economy,” said Commerce Minister Phumtham.

Deputy Prime Minister and Commerce Minister Phumtham Wechayachai and two actresses, Becky and Freen, witness the signing ceremony between the Ministry of Commerce and Idol Factory Co., Ltd. on February 28, 2024....

According to the Department of International Trade Promotion, the Thai movie and series sector and related industries will generate 8,000 million baht in exports by 2023. In 2024, it will likely reach 10,000 million baht, particularly in the Y-movie and Y-series, which are expected to expand in value from 1,000 million baht to 2,000 million baht as a result of the Ministry of Commerce’s proactive cooperation with the private sector.

source

The Thai government’s efforts are paying off.

Oramon Sapthaweetham, director-general of the Department of Business Development, revealed that the Boys’ Love series had helped revitalise the film production industry, generating substantial profits and extending economic benefits to allied sectors, such as advertising, leveraging actors as influencers, event organisation, and tourism. 

"Over the past 10 years, Thailand has produced over 177 Boys’ Love [series], continuously gaining popularity and expanding its customer base, eventually leading to exports to international markets," Oramon added.

The film production industry in Thailand is witnessing substantial growth. In the first four months of 2024, 56 new businesses were registered, marking a 12% increase from 2023. The total registered capital also saw a significant rise of 146.44% to 195.18 million baht. In 2023, the industry grew by 20% with 137 businesses and a capital of 258 million baht. The total revenue in 2022 was 12.895 billion baht, indicating a continuous growth trend.

source

-

#3 Diversification

Ok, so this is based on my limited knowledge and imagination. Feel free to skip.

There are two production companies that I have ever been interested in - Bhavana Studios and Mammootty Kampany. Both of them have produced experimental Malayalam movies while managing to remain commercially successful. While is partially attributable to these companies being brands, I think their overall strategy of diversification have worked in their favour.

Mammootty Kampany could produce art-house movie Nanpakal Nerathu Mayakkam for award circuits and with no expectation of commercial performance by banking on their other production Kannur Squad which was action entertainer sure to bring in the big bucks. Their queer family drama Kaathal – The Core and neo-noir psychological thriller Rorschach did exceptionally well in the box office as well as garnered critical acclaim. Bhavana Studios has similar track record of their commercially successful projects kind of cross subsidizing their experimental and unique projects and lifting the heat off in case of flops.

Having production companies which are aspirational in their approach to BL while having the economics sorted out help where government support is not forth coming.

Censorship as No-thing

When sometime is truly censored, we wouldn’t know. Unless we ask. Here’s what Jooyin Saejang learned from asking.

Conclusion

I have a strong preference for live action adaptations that are willing to go the last mile in terms of sexual content, social critiques and addressing real-life issues. That’s the reason why the header image for this BL side blog is from Moothon (2019).

But realistically this isn’t always possible. And I prefer having more production companies offering variety. I don’t want them to sink under the weight of BL that didn’t do well commercially and me being left at the mercy of media conglomerates with seemingly bottomless funds and monopsony over BL authors, original works and the culture that creates them.

Also, there is queer content from Korean that is neither mainstream nor from fu-culture. Support those. Unfortunately, Cheers by Cheers 짠!하면 알 수 있어 has been removed from their YouTube channel which is now called Cheer Up. While the series is gone, there are interviews with English subtitles.

Love in the Big City

Love in the Big City, the series and the movie are based on Park Sang-young's novel of the same name that was published in 2019. In Korea, it sold over 100,000 copies. Ever since, it has been translated into 15 languages, including English. The English translation by Anton Hur was published in 2021. The book has been longlisted for the International Booker Prize in 2022 and the Dublin Literary Award in 2023.

The movie secured an investor early on. The film was produced by Showbox and Tale Farming (고래와유기농). Michigan Venture Capital, a key investor, was responsible for 2 billion won out of the net production cost of about 6 billion won. Plus M Entertainment, a subsidiary of the JoongAng Group took care of its distribution. (source)

State-sponsorship for Korean BL !

The series, on the other hand, faced difficulty attracting investment as well as had trouble finding OTT platforms willing to air the show. It was co-produced by MerryChristmas, a subsidiary of WYSIWYG Studio' a KOSDAQ-listed company, along with Big Stone Studio. Mbrella Films provided production services in Thailand. They have received the state-support through Korea Creative Content Agency under Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism amounting to 3 billion won as production costs support aimed at strengthening the global competitiveness of K-content through OTT.

Finally, TVING, a platform that has aired multiple BL projects previously (such as Unintentional Love Story, Jazz for Two, To My Star 2, The Eighth Sense and High School Return of a Gangster), aired the series in South Korea and the streaming platform Rakuten Viki promoted it as a BL.

An iconic scene from bonus chapter 2 of The New Employee aka The New Recruit manhwa adaptation (web novel written by Moscareto and illustrated by Zec) ahead that didn't make it into the live action adaptation.

Gong comes home to find su in a sexy position at the doorway, fingering himself according to gong's instructions over phone.

[sadnightforus]

MISMATCH  (JSC)

established relationship, boyfriend!sungchan x gn!cold reader

SYNOPSIS: He spent time trying to figure you out. You were not the easiest person to understand, but he tried. His only fear was you abandoning him, all alone in this cold world. 

WORD COUNT: 3.1K

WARNINGS: neglectful behavior from the reader, mentioned of cancer, minor mentioned of Chenle, avoidable cuss words, some tiny argument (probably not that tiny but you get what I mean since it’s not a lot), happy ending so guess it’s all good for us :D

PART OF HEARTBREAK STATION 

A/N: I did not really beta-read this one through. Enjoy.  

SONG USED: SO THAT YOU DO NOT GET UPSET BY TAEK. 

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

 By then, he’s already getting used to waiting for you when the clock strikes past 9 pm, way past your leave hour from work. 

 The anniversary for 2 years is approaching. It’ll be there to remind him of how much time you both had spent together. Being the caring boyfriend he is, he rushed over to your place and used the spare keys you had given him, months after dating, so you both can come and go to each other’s place without having to awkwardly wait for another person at the door. 

 But recently, there has been a problem. A huge one that drives him insane. 

 He can’t honestly recall when exactly it started, but he vividly remembers that you suddenly avoided him, giving him the cold shoulder treatment when pressing you for an answer. Your first excuse was that you were just exhausted, then the college burden, then your work drove you crazy and then you came up with the kind of excuses that he knew were completely untrue and that you were just lying.

 The clock is ticking, telling it’s 9:20 pm but yet you’re still not home. He wanted to call you but you have a habit of putting your phone on silent when you need some time alone. The food is getting colder and he reconsidered heating it when he hears your footsteps into your place.

“You’re back!” He exclaimed happily. You don’t respond to that, just give him a small smile in return. 

“I made dinner for both of us. Just sit down, I’ll feed you. You don’t have to do anything.” 

 You only nod, not doing anything else as you oblige by his orders. He watches you, wondering if you slowly fall out of love with him and that’s why you don’t need him by your side anymore. 

“I can feed myself. Don’t do anything.” You add. “You don’t have to heat up the food, let’s eat it like that.”

 He pulls out your chair so you both can properly be seated and you let him do so. He serves you to his heart's content as you watch him retrieve the food back from the counter. You know you did give him a really hard time these past few months, but you can’t seem to talk about what’s bothering you. One day, one day maybe. 

 He sits down, slowly starts eating at the same time. He avoids your favorite food so that you’ll have it all to yourself, even if he likes it too. 

“How’s class?” He asks, curious. 

“It was okay.” Your voice is quiet, almost going unheard of if not for the comfort of your own place. “What about you?” 

“Professors are being cruel as usual. I don’t have any assignments due for this week. I wish for days like this.” He dramatically wails and you chuckle at his attempts. 

 You grab some pork and place it onto his plate, as you know it’s one of his favorites but you also know he avoids it because he wants you to have it all. 

“I’m not that hungry, we can share this together.” 

 Even if you don’t talk a lot, uncharacteristically quiet from an already quiet and reserved person that you are, he still tries to read what’s on your mind.  

 You continue to have a little talk then and there. He treasures every moment of it but he notices that the sparkle in your eyes that he adores so much has long disappeared, replacing itself with void and almost agonizing pain. But when you blink, it disappears and there’s the glint of happiness in your eyes, back again. 

 He starts having doubts on what really went wrong in this relationship but he pushes the thoughts aside and tries to enjoy any moments left with you. 

 But he knew that he’ll have to confront that topic one day, soon enough. 

“Happy anniversary, babe.” He whispers happily, looking deep into your eyes as the soft romantic music is playing in the background. 

 For both of your special days, he had made a reservation at a fancy restaurant, 2 months before. His friend, Chenle, the grandson of the said restaurant, used his privileges to move his name into a ‘VIP client’ section so that he’ll be able to do this. Any normal person would’ve to book the reservation 5 months in advance if they plan to do so. 

“Thank you for this.” You mutter, grateful that he went out of his way to make the special day so memorable. 

 He turns flustered as he can see the adoring look in your eyes while you hold eye contact with him, mumbling out countless thank yous and lovely things that he hasn’t heard of in weeks now. 

“I love you.” He smiles, relieved to see that you like it. 

“I love you too.” 

 You’re not very vocal about your feelings. He never pushes you to do so as he knows that you’ll only say it when you want to. 

 But for some reason, he gets the sunken feelings that this will be the last time that he hears it. 

 He flushes you a smile, not knowing if this will be the last big date you both will ever have with one another. Or the last time that he gets to smile at you like that. 

 But either way, he is determined to keep this going as long as it can be. 

“Should we drink red wine?” He asks, wanting the night to be perfect for you. 

“Won’t that be expensive?” You frown, thinking about the panic that will rise once you see the bills. 

“I want tonight to be just about you. Don’t worry about the price.” He grins at you back lovingly, reassuring you that he has more than enough. 

 The night quickly wrapped itself with the only connection that you both would understand, as you had become one with him under the stars that shine so brightly in the universe in the comfort of his place. 

 But even then, he knew that he one day, will have to eventually face how wrecked and cold this relationship is. He pushed the thoughts aside, leaning closer to look at you, in case it’ll be the last time he got to see you this close. You’re already asleep, breathing steady and looking so angelic to him. 

 He kissed the top of your head and mumbled out a quiet goodnight, closing his eyes and feeling his heart is a bit at ease, knowing that you’ll be the first thing he’ll see in the morning when the stream of sun rays hits his eyes. 

“I have to go, I can’t stay here.” You said, already grabbing your small handbag and attempting to walk out the door. 

“But your birthday ca-” 

“I’m sorry.” You shot him an apologetic look, not sparing another minute to spend with him on your special day before slamming the door shut and he can only watch you leave until he loses sight of you. 

 It’s your birthday today and he wants to make it extra special as it’ll be the second birthday you’ll spend together. Lucky enough that he doesn’t have any classes for today so he has time to perfect your birthday with things he knew you would like. 

 But unfortunately, one text ruined the plan as he could see you celebrating your day so happily just earlier with him, blowing out the candles as he sang a song to create a more melodic atmosphere. 

 He glances at the gift he was planning to give you sadly. He knows that it’s all coming to an end but he is willing to give one more try, just one more try until the string that holds both of you detached itself completely from one another. 

 He starts to rethink about from the very beginning and before it all came down here. You were never a person of many words, he can say many things to charm others. He is more social than you are while you keep to yourself a lot, sometimes it almost feels like you hold onto too many secrets, afraid that the very vulnerable place would be attacked and send you out with even more trust issues. 

 He looks at the necklace you got him for his first birthday, which he still wears because it’s equally as stylish as it is sentimental to him that his partner got him a gift that becomes a part of his life. 

 He is afraid that he will have to take it off one day. Just like how he’ll no longer have you by his side. 

 He breathes heavily, letting streams of tears fall down his cheeks, not caring anymore about keeping his composure because it pains him to think about that day. 

 It pains him that you slowly lose your attention on him, not caring about things he does for you or in general anymore. 

 But he loves you too much for that, so he tries to breathe in with the hot tears pricking in his eyes and makes a mental reminder to not do anything that might destroy this relationship. 

 Just another try, so that he can put his mind at ease before he walks out of your life forever. 

“Are you kidding me right now, Sungchan?” You yell, furious and both equally as frustrated in your tone. 

“Why have you been sneaking around? Do you think I have the heart of a monk? Of course, I’d be so fucking mad!” He yells back, trying his hardest to not burst into tears right there and then. 

“I told you, I have a reason to go out this late at night!” You try to reason, eyes now tainted by the agonizing pain and unreadable kind of desperation shown in your gaze that he has never seen before. 

“It’s fucking 2 in the morning!” He points out, mad by your action. 

 He has given you so much time to speak but you didn’t. And this is the final straw as he woke up to you just re-entering the bedroom when you both had previously fallen asleep together around 12 am. 

 And that’s why you both are in the situation that you are in now because he decides to confront you instead of letting the matter slide like how he used to. 

“So what?” You sass back and he is slightly confused and both amused that there’s a hidden pain in your tone, rather than ‘not caring’ you’d often use. 

“I’m not a kid. I don’t know what you think I am but I’m not stupid. If you don’t want me anymore, you can just say that to my face.” 

 You look at him, this time with an unreadable expression on your face. He thought he saw your eyes almost brimming into tears but when he blinks, the tears quickly disappear, leaving with a cold empty look to match with the current atmosphere of both the heart and place. 

 You both go radio silent for a bit, you finding yourself extremely speechless from his accusation because the truth is: you need him more than ever. But you don’t want to burden him. No, you don’t want to place that pain onto him anymore.  

“Why did you do that?” He asks, this time, finally letting his tears fall and he doesn’t care if it is weak. All he can think about is that he’ll have to hear the things that he doesn’t want to escape your lips and the apologies that would surely make its way because he’ll never be enough. 

 You contemplate on whether you should say it. You know you’ve been putting him in a tough spot for the last 5 months or so but really, time is never kind and you have to sacrifice your own happiness to say goodbye. 

 You bite your lips, letting the tears fall down, mirroring his expressions. Eyes red and in so much curiosity, laced with an ungodly amount of pain before you speak slowly, trying to muster the courage to sound as stable as you can. 

“My best friend is dying.” 

 With that, you feel your knees going weak and you almost crumble to the ground, if not for the fast reflex that he manages to catch you on time. 

 It all now makes sense why you seem so distant. 

 Your best friend was a part of you, your better other half as you had referred to her as. You occasionally bring her up with a smile on your face when you both happen to have a deep conversation together. But he noticed that he couldn’t seem to bring your friend up because you would dismiss the topic as quickly as the question popped out. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He softly asks, stroking your hair as he allows your tears to soak his shirt. Your muffled sobs did nothing but tug at his heartstrings more than before because he knows that you’d most likely have to give up on your personal time spent with him to stay by your best friend’s side. 

“I- I just don’t want to burden you.” 

“You could never burden me.” 

“I’m just.. afraid- afraid that it’ll be too much to handle for you.” His torn heart absolutely breaks at this claim, why did his precious baby think that your pain doesn't deserve to be shared too? 

“It’ll never be too much when it comes to you.” He mumbles, sincerity shown in every syllable he utters those words out as he averts his eyes to look at your figure with so much love and the need to protect you from the bad things in the world. 

 He lets you cry as long as you want to as he strokes your hair gently, afraid that you might be startled by the not so gentle-touch from him as a way to comfort and letting you embrace yourself in him for as long as you desire. Each tear, breaks him even more as he wonders how long had you been really keeping this up; pretending to be strong, isolating yourself in fear of dragging them along into your sadness. Only then, did he notice that you had lost a significant amount of weight and you appear to be more fragile to him than ever. 

“I don’t know if she’s gonna make it.” You mumble out, clearly intent for him to hear but your voice was so quiet that he almost missed it. He waits for you to continue as you catch your breath before speaking again. 

“She has cancer, they caught it early but I can’t really watch her suffering. I wish I could take all of her pain and let it be transferred to me.”

 The thought made him cry. Your heart is pure and he curses himself for ever thinking that it’s him that you got bored of and even the thought of you finding someone else better crossed his mind on occasion where he let his emotions overtake the best of his senses, when it’s the opposite of his assumption. 

“She’s strong. I know she can overcome it.” 

“I’m just… just really scared. Do you know what she said to me? She said she doesn’t wanna die yet, she hasn’t even fulfilled half of the wishes. She hasn’t…” You shake your head, furiously crying as more hot tears soak the thin fabric of your boyfriend’s shirt. 

“I’ll be here with you at every step.” He whispers and you feel comforted by what he said fully because you know that he will. 

“I’m sorry about the birthday thing. And I’m sorry for my behavior for these past 5 months.” You apologize as you slowly come to realize that you probably made him cry out of doubts. That thought made you feel like an asshole. 

“Don’t blame yourself for that.” He speaks like he can read your mind. “You were very stressed. But you’re so strong, you can get through this.” 

 You let him comfort you and kissing your tears and knowing that now you don’t have to go through the pain alone makes you feel less alienated. And the remaining hours until the sun rises, you both converse in conversations and become more verbal with your love towards him. You feel as if you were seen, understood and taken care of without any fear. 

 And you swear that you’ll never let him go as he promises that he’ll always be by your side until the end of life. 

 Maybe you don’t have to go through it alone. You have him, and it’s all that matters. 

BONUS 

“Happiness does look good on you, you know.” 

“Is that the first thing you said to me when you woke up, really?” You let out a laugh, surprised by your best friend’s remark. 

 When you received a call from the hospital that your best friend’s surgery was a success, you were excited, thrilled and just so relieved to have your best friend be protected and finally safe and secured from the danger. You quickly called your boyfriend, telling him about the amazing news and he dropped the last 2 lectures of today to take you to where you needed the most. And you swear that you’ll make him your husband someday. 

“Sungchan, stop holding Y/N’s hand. Yuck!” She pretends to make a puking expression, even makes a vomiting noise. 

“I need to tell the world I’m in love. It's not my fault that you have to witness that.” He sasses, clearly finds it better than expected that the girl is fiesta in her own way.. 

“Do it somewhere else, I hate happy couples.” 

And you three share a hearty laugh, 

 And as he looks at you, he thanked the universe that he never gave up and gave one more try to the relationship. 

 He could die from happiness right then and there.

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2023

[elliespuns]

Can we talk about how talented the the last of us concept artists are? Not only does it paint a picture for us but it translates to their emotions & personality’s through there facial expressions.

The first bottom picture reads ‘Dina starts to doubt if the bloodshed & distress are worth the outcome as she dresses Ellie’s wounds’.

You can see the embarrassment & pain on Ellie’s face while being taken care of, while Dina concentrating on how to sew up her wounds is doubting if all this revenge is good for Ellie.

‘Ellie feels a deep love for her son, but her trauma threatens the safety of the tiny family. Below the concepts of Ellie carrying the baby while doing routine chores around the farm’

Those one shows the love Ellie truly has for JJ & Dina, but her PTSD & trauma is so bad that she physically nor is mentally stable enough as much as she tries (also LOOK AT JJS LITTLE SHOES!!! So cute!!)

‘The prologue to the game gives us our first & only look at Joel’s daughter, Sarah. Although Sarah is much more innocent, it was important to establish her as a down-to-earth girl who shares many qualities with Ellie. Sarah’s look needed to feel authentic & clearly show her relationship with Joel, while at the same time establishing her as a distinct character with her own sense of style. Her facial features are based on the actress who played & voiced her, Hanna Hayes’

I love that they really made Sarah her own concept art, yes she is important to show the relationship with Joel but then again putting her in a way that she IS her OWN character & not just a side character. & it really shows & connects to how Joel really finds & connects to Ellie seeing the light of Sarah he needed after all those years, something to fight for again, something to look forward to no matter how much Ellie hurt him, because deep down he saw her as a daughter when he denied his own feelings in chapter 1. Ellie knew she wasn’t his daughter, & made it clear in the second game. Showing how much her relationship changed with Joel going from. “I see you as my dad” to “ I am Not your daughter.”

Artists: Hyoung Taek Nam, John Sweeney (pic 1 & 2) , Alex Neonekis, John Sweeney (pic 3), & I can’t find the artist for Sarah’s concept art

Anyway, I’m gonna not go anonymous anymore! But I’ll add my emoji just in case - 🕸️

This is such a beautiful ask. What always got me about the concept art was how fitting it was to the final results of the game. When you think about it, the concept art was created long before the game even started developing. There were just some ideas and concepts (hence the art), but no scrip (at least not the whole thing, maybe like scraps), and yet when we look back at most of these arts, we can see how close they are to the characters we learned to love. This is what I call a precise job. You can see the game was done with love in the heart. 

The scene where Dina is taking care of Ellie is so well done. Be it on the concept art or on the screen, There's so much pain in Ellie in that scene; you wouldn't even have to see that she's all shaken, covered in blood, and crying. All you can do is close your eyes and listen to her voice when she speaks to Dina. Chills.

What I always found very interesting about Sarah, though, was why they chose to make her blond. This makes me even more curious about Joel's ex-wife because, this way, Sarah looks more like Tommy's daughter than Joel's (not suggesting that's true, lol). Looking at the concept art, there are versions of Sarah with darker hair. I wonder why they decided to make her blond all of a sudden. As if it had a reason and they were planning to show us a little of Joel's (blond) ex-wife in Part 3? Hm, who knows?

[dullgecko]

Bad little kids

Gorgug: The only time Gorgug’s parents have ever put their hands on him was when he was about to touch scolding hot iron. It was just a quick panicked wrist swat that was immediately regretted by Wilma but Gorgug was so in shock he just started crying because all he knew is that he hit things when he was mad, so that must mean she’s mad at him.

Riz: Riz had an imaginary friend that looked eerily familiar to Baron. This Baron (at the time named something else.) They used to watch Scooby-doo together, solves “cases” together. They were best friends. Riz didn’t even notice the similarities between the old friend and Baron until Baron brought up their “past”.

Fabian: Was taught to swim by being enthusiastically thrown into the pool everyday and being cheered on by Bill. It worked on after awhile, But during the time he was still figuring it out, he would randomly launch himself into the pool as if he’d magically learn how to swim. This led to a couple instances of him almost drowning, but it didn’t stop him.

Fig: Didn’t know Gilear had a name other than ‘dad’ until someone asked what her dad’s name was. She had no idea, she knew people called him things that weren’t dad but she never really paid attention to that. That same day she asked him and was flabbergasted upon finding out his name was ‘Gilear’

Kristen: Wanted to take dance lessons, she loved to dance even if she was terrible at it (low dex). She asked her parents to sign her up for it but apparently she had too go to church on the days that they were available. It got worse after she was chosen, she didn’t have time for anything. All those speeches and talking to the priests and trying to contact Helio, she eventually kind of forgot about it.

Wilma and Digby sit Gorgug down and apologise so much. Explain that they didnt mean to hit him but they were in a panic because he was about to do something that would hurt him and that they'd never do it again. It's the beginning of them teaching him that he also shouldnt hit things when he's mad, even if he really really wants to, because he could hurt someone accidentally and they'd feel like he did when Wilma accidentally hit him. It goes a long way to helping Gorgug get good control over his anger.

------------------------

Riz still sees Baron sometimes, out of the corner of his eye or in reflective surfaces. Its not all the time, but sometimes when he's tired and he's stressed the nightmare creature is able to manifest a little more strongly than before.

On one of his late nights in junior year he's sitting in his living room, trying to get through his homework and also check some of his friends at the same time. He's exhausted and bordering on delerious but once he's done he's planning on actually going to sleep.

The television is off but is reflecting the room around it on the blackened screen, Riz is too tired to flinch when a boney finger taps on the other side of the screen. Barons face materialising out of the darkness and making the glass bend outwards slightly as he presses against it from the inside.

"Perhaeps you should taek a break Riz Gukgak~ Let me free from your briefcaes and we can waetch some caretoons together liek we used to."

He's not going to make the same mistake he did the first time he saw Baron, breaking the glass would only set it free and thats what it wants. Riz gets up off the floor slowly, walks over to the boxy old television, and flips it around so the screen is facing the wall before going back to his homework. The move is effective, no more reflective surface means no more Baron means he can get this shit done and go to sleep.

Its only in the morning that he pieces together what Baron actually said and he has a little bit of a crisis about it.

--------------------------------

Bill was lucky Cathilda was basically Fabians shadow when he was a little boy. On MANY an occasion she had to dive into the pool and haul him out because he'd sunk like a stone and wasnt coming back up. He worked it out eventually, but still enjoyed it when his dad randomly hurled him into the pool to test if he could swim yet.

---------------------

As soon as Fig found out her dads name was Gilear she never called him anything else. She would correct people all the time whenever they were talking about her dad without using his name too.

--------------------

Kristens dex is STILL terrible but once Fabian started learning how to dance she begged him to teach her some. She's still absoloutly terrible and they have to make sure nothing breakable is in the room but she can do a couple simple dances without doing too much damage now. There are some songs that give Fabian PTSD flashbacks from their lessons now though.

[lurkingshan]

Some Highly Recommended Kdrama

My pal @troubled-mind asked me if I had any recommendations for good kdramas to watch, and my answer to that is: literally always. I put together this short list for them and decided to share in case anyone else is interested.

Parameters for this list: modern setting, strong focus on friendship dynamics, mix of genres, avoid university settings, no one-sided romantic pursuits, and no terribly sad endings

Be Melodramatic/Melo Is My Nature (Viki)

Fantastic friendship focused drama about a group of close friends who all move in together in the wake of personal crises. A healing drama that includes a couple love lines. And an out gay side character (still extremely rare for mainstream kdrama, unfortunately). This one will make you laugh and cry.

Happiness (Viki)

Pandemic zombies attack! Now I am not really a zombie person, but I absolutely love this show. It’s about a pair of working class besties who decide to get married in order to win a housing lottery (one of them may or not be hoping this fake marriage turns real), then immediately get caught in a lockdown with all their new neighbors when there’s a zombie virus outbreak. Shenanigans ensue! This is more action thriller than horror, and the two main characters are some of my all time favs. The writing, plotting, and pacing are tight as hell and it’s a rare perfect 10 for me on that front.

Coffee Prince (Viki)

MY BELOVED. This is an absolute classic genderbend kdrama that I’ve watched several times. The show that made Gong Yoo famous. An honest to goodness queer narrative about a chaebol who meets a girl pretending to be a boy for poverty reasons, falls in love, and has a bisexual awakening. This show was way ahead of its time even if it doesn’t use our modern language (you will not hear the words trans, non-binary or bi/pansexual but trust me, they’re there). Also features a fun friend group who all work together at the coffee shop. I try to make everyone watch this one, and recently got @bengiyo and @kyr-kun-chan to watch and validate my read of the story, and they enjoyed it a lot despite the messy hets. Be warned though that this drama is old old, so you’ll need to adjust to the visuals.

Fight for My Way (Viki)

My all time favorite friends to lovers drama, this is a coming of age tale of two best friends and their long journey to getting on the same page about romance. Their dynamic is fantastic and the story is mostly set in their early adulthood as they try to establish themselves in careers and make sense of their bond as adults. Also features their close friends who form a fun little group with them. And Park Seo Joon, a god among drama actors.

Hospital Playlist (Netflix)

If you want excellent friendship dynamics, look no further. This show is all about a group of five friends who met in college and have stuck together for over two decades and all of life’s ups and downs. The story begins when they find themselves all working in the same hospital for the first time since med school and decide to restart their old band. Yes, there will be singing, and no, you don’t have to cover your ears - the cast is stacked with South Korea’s best musical theater talent. This drama is slice of life and takes us through a couple years with them as they reforge their bonds and each deal with their own family baggage and love lives.

Misaeng (Netflix)

My all time favorite workplace drama that has the unique distinction of being the only show to ever make me literally burst into happy tears. No romance in this one. Story centers on a former baduk prodigy (think if Reply 1988 Taek stalled out instead of becoming a master) who attempts to enter the workforce with no discernible skills. He bumbles and fumbles and alternately competes with and bonds with his fellow interns, and forms a deep and lasting relationship with his mentor. When I tell you this show is a master class in writing to create emotional stakes, phew! How else can you explain me getting deep in my feelings over the success or failure of an import/export company?

My Mister (Netflix or Viki)

This one is a bit darker, as it deals with themes of intergenerational trauma, abuse, poverty, depression, and general ennui. Not a romance, this drama focuses on the strange and unexpected bond that forms between a middle aged man and a younger woman working on his team. They meet at an important inflection point in both their lives and forge a friendship that changes them both. Really moving and utterly beautiful, with an ending that will make you feel happy to be alive.

Extraordinary You (Viki)

Time for a change up! This is a fantasy show in which the main character becomes self aware and realizes she is a side character in a manwha. Technically set in a school (inside the manwha) but not actually about that. She bonds with another side character who is self aware, and the two of them start working to change the story so that they can break free (and fall in love while doing it, naturally). The concept of this one is just so cool and they do a lot of interesting things with it, plus the visuals are stunning.

The Uncanny Counter (Netflix)

Because I know you liked Oh No! Here Comes Trouble, I’m adding this one about a kid who discovers he has superpowers and teams up with a little found family of grim reapers to fight evil. The family unit is great and there’s lots of good stuff in their various relationships with each other. This one is a lot of fun but also touches on the characters’ sad backstories and family lives.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo (Viki)

You said to avoid university settings but I’m adding this one in case you want to give a classic college romance a try. My fav in that category, it’s a sports romance between a weightlifter and a swimmer who used to be childhood friends and reconnect in college while they’re struggling with performance issues, body image, and romance. It’s a friends to lovers slow burn and they are utterly adorable.

If you like any of these, let me know and I can give you more recs!! Y’all can hit me up anytime, getting other people to watch my fav shows is one of my number one joys in life.

[not-goldy]

I'm a little surprised Jikook haven't come on live to explain away their enlistment. I kinda been expecting it, cause they know all eyes are on them considering their sus behavior over the years and what this means for them. Then again, I hope they don't even speak on it, cause they earned this big fuck you to the world and shouldn't have to explain shit. I would love that Jikook live before they leave. I don't even need to see them flirt. I just wanna see them happy before leaving. I'm gonna miss them so much, but especially Jimin. I'm sorry, but he owns my heart and I am petrified for him. Yes, I'm relieved he will have JK, but I am still petrified and throwing up over this. I am really scared for him. Like really scared. I can sleep easy knowing Jikook have each other, but I also can't sleep cause I am terrified for them and the day is getting closer. I'm not ready.

I also suspect Tae will probably leave Tkk with some crumbs and do something since they've been demolished and taking reality hit after reality hit all year and he probably wanna make sure he has his delusional fanbase to come back too. They begged him while Jikook was in Japan and he did. I imagine he will again. If it were me tho, I'd let them miserable fucks rot and not give them shit the entire time I am gone, after they harassed my GF for an entire year. I wouldn't want to return to same group of nasty fucking toxic disgusting people. All they've done is tarnish his and Jk's name and reputation. Tae being the mentally abused tortured soul and Jk being the abusive, possessive, manipulating, cheating, fanservice king breaking Tae's heart. I saw a lot of tkk saying they were leaving if Jikook go through with enlisting cause they can't explain away Jikook being together by choice for 18 months, when they had other options. Lets hope they keep their word. Taek down your leaders who gaslit you, you'll feel better. That's my advice.

I know Jimin wanna throw hands but I'm waiting to see his bald head🥲

Until then I'm gonna pretend he's not going and we are gonna get his 10/13 birthday live as scheduled on my calendar 😔

They probably have their reasons for choosing to do this together. Reality is they could have done it with any member they wanted. I personally would have loved if Vmin had gone together 🤧

It wouldn't be so surprising if the best friends soul mates went. Chingus doing chingu things- we have no choice but to look away.

However Jikook, the entire Fandom think you hate eachother and spend a lot of time trying to ridicule and diminish your bond. 18 months is Ike 1000 years a day in hell for someone who hates Jimin at his core.

He hates Jimin so much he can't wait to follow him to military to hate him some more.

Never underestimate the power of hate.

It's such a strong emotion.

And ooooh will Jimin burn under his hateful gaze as he fires hateful beams out of his eyes while Jimin jumps around camp bald head with his gun pressed against his chest.

He's been practicing his mini hateful hugs too

He can't wait to hatefully spoon him till he's begging for mercy

[thetomorrowshow]

time enough for counting

heyyyyyyy sorry

cw: jimmy is still dead, mourning/funeral stuff, loneliness, brief mentions of blood/being killed

~

I haeve left the artefaktes in the hands of the living gods. Taeke holde of them bothe and defeate Exor.

Scott rubs his eyes, sits back in his chair. He's read through the Alinar's cramped cursive instructions in the back of the book over and over again.

Because they are instructions, strangely enough. As far as Scott can tell, Alinar wrote his entire plan to defeat Conal in the back of this book, as frustratingly vague as it is.

Written several times throughout is 'mine apologies fore any person who is nowe fighting an daemone, as I have been vayge in my writing. I feare that this booke myte fall into the hands of the enemie, and fore this purpose mine detailes are sparse'.

The details are kind of sparse, but not as badly as he'd expected. For one thing, Alinar details exactly what kind of mountain he'd locked Conal in, specifying that it isn't the exact location that matters, it needs to be a strong holding place connected to Aeor's power. And there's an entire spell written for making a crystal that should be able to trap Exor's Champion. Not that Scott is capable of that kind of magic, but he could give it to Gem and she could probably create it.

The actually frustrating part is the artifacts. Alinar won't describe them, or where they are, or how to use them. He just cites the same 'taeke holde of them bothe and defeate Exor' whenever he mentions them, and twice he writes that he left them with 'living gods', whatever that means.

Scott's pretty sure he has one of the two artifacts already. He'd found the golden antler crown in that cave, and he knows it dates at least back to Alinar, if not before. The scholars that have examined it have declared it to be of magical properties, and he knows that it has a strong connection to one of the only living gods that he knows of.

So he has the antlers. But there is zero description of what the other artifact might be, or where it might be, or who it was given to.

And Scott has no clue where to start.

It's his most important work to focus on, but his councils never give him time to work on it. He is, after all, running a war right now.

The forces of Mythland have joined up with those of the Lost Empire to launch a targeted attack on the Ocean Kingdom. fWhip's still biding his time, sending out spies (which frequently get caught by Lizzie) and little armies to test the waters at various borders. Scott's work so far has mostly been in setting patrols for his own borders, and sending soldiers out to aid the Ocean Kingdom—not desperately needed, but a good show of their alliance. But having all those forces concentrated on the Ocean Kingdom? Giving the other empires plenty of time to prepare their defenses?

Why Xornoth wants to take down Lizzie is entirely beyond Scott.

It's actually been a minute since he spoke with Lizzie face-to-face—two weeks, to be precise.

Fourteen days since that meeting.

Fourteen days since Jimmy's death was confirmed.

Nine days since Scott released an official mourning statement, mostly written by somebody else who had no real idea of what he and Jimmy shared.

And three days since Ilphas gently suggested working with Lizzie to plan a memorial service for Jimmy.

The court, far too late, has ruled that he and Jimmy remained betrothed despite their eschewing of the betrothal law, due to the state of emergency. So added to his mourning robes is a veil, simpler than those he and Jimmy wore during the betrothal period, plain black cloth with a matching hood.

Mourning vestments are generally worn for a year when the death was of someone close, such as a parent or spouse. Or, in this case, fiance.

Scott's stuck in a mockery of the betrothal he hadn't been able to finish for an entire year.

And now he needs to plan a funeral for his love.

Before he can chicken out, Scott grabs his communicator from his new satchel that hangs off his chair.

The satchel was a gift from the Codlands and had arrived the same day the Cod Empire fell. It's hand-stitched, from what he can tell, with a design in blue of a leaping stag and a cod forming a circle on the side, the main bag a demure brown. He finds himself, sometimes, running his thumb along the stitches of the cod in a self-soothing motion. Since he received it, the bag has barely left his side.

It's a humble gift, one certainly not fit for a king. But Scott sees in it the hard work of someone, or several someones, who only wished to show their appreciation and acceptance to the fiance of their beloved Codfather.

Scott carries it as if it holds the same amount of worth as his crown, and his advisors know better than to say anything about it.

Have you any time for a visit to make memorial plans?

He sets his communicator down, flips to a new page in the ancient book. He has an Old Elvish to Elvish dictionary, but it takes forever to even parse through a paragraph of the original story. And this is less the classic tale of the Two Stags and more a history of Aeor, and while that's very helpful and educational, it's stupidly difficult to understand.

His communicator buzzes before Scott can even begin reading.

Tomorrow.

Right then.

Scott should probably inform his council.

-

Scott stops in the church on his way out of town—strange, for him, but he's trying to show his dedication to Aeor—and just wanders through the hall of paintings there: depictions of Aeor, and Alinar, and other heroes and times.

He halts, meandering, before a large portrait of Alinar that's never seemed to draw him in in the past. He remembers being a child, here in the hall on his way to his religious studies, walking far slower than necessary just to gaze at all the art but passing over this one with little consideration.

In the painting, Alinar sits on his throne, the whole hall laid out before him. His chin is held high, his robes lavish and deep blue, his crown of antlers shining gold. The hilt of a sword sticks out behind the back of the throne, a brown streak of paint against the beams of light filtering in through the grand windows behind Alinar.

Alinar himself is missing his left arm—a common depiction of the king, one that Scott read a scholarly debate about several years ago. The generally accepted theory is that it represents the distance and early death of his closest friend, a desert nomad tribe leader known to the elves as Lisdes—one of very few non-elves that has been granted a presence in the most glorious of heavens for his heroic works. Other theories include that it is a representation of the civil war fought under his reign—when Conal, his own twin brother, rebelled, it was like losing his arm; or that it is a representation of Alinar's control in many parts of the world, with one hand overseeing the elven colonies of the east (long gone) while the other rules from home.

There are many theories, but none have been found true, especially since the depiction isn't universal. Somewhere around fifty percent of the artists that have created a likeness of him do so without the arm, but the others include it. For all anyone knows, one artist forgot the arm and everyone else decided it was so meaningful that they needed to copy it.

The last one is unlikely. There's a folk tale of Alinar and Lisdes journeying together to a mountain of fire to retrieve his lost arm, so it probably had its beginnings in something other than a painting. Whatever it was, the truth has been lost to time.

In this painting, there is no one near Alinar. There are groups of people milling around in the hall below his gaze, but none of them interact with him, or even look to him.

Scott's always thought, looking at this, that Alinar was rather haughty.

Now, he sees him as lonely.

This portrait was painted only a couple of hundred years after his death, titled simply 'A King'. No embellishments of the ancient hero, none but those painted: the crescent moon halo hanging above his head, the jewels hanging from his robes, the carefully-detailed chain earring looping down around his long ear.

He's a king.

Nothing more, nothing less.

An elf with the role of leadership.

Adorned in gold and rich cloth, secluded above the other elves, looking down almost mournfully upon his people.

It's funny, Scott thinks, that he's never related to this painting. He'd always preferred the one two paintings down, of Alinar plunging a golden sword into a one-eyed monster, a pillar of light shining down on him from a moon above him.

That one seems to hold less wonder than it always did.

In that one, he can't help but see the pain in Alinar's determined eyes.

How much did he lose in his journey to become a hero?

His brother. Citizens of his kingdom. His best friend.

More, maybe, that was never written.

Never remembered.

Will Scott's losses be remembered?

Will Jimmy be more than a quick mark in the history books?

In the 109th year of his life, King Smajor was briefly engaged to the ruler of the Codlands. The ruler was killed in battle.

To an outsider's point of view, that is the maximum relevance that Jimmy has had on Scott's life.

Jimmy isn't some hero, as Lisdes was. He's just . . . just Jimmy. And his time here was short.

Far too short.

Maybe even insignificant. He established—what, ten years of peace in a country destroyed by war for hundreds of years prior? Only for it to be conquered again?

Who is going to remember the only person Scott truly loved?

Now, for the first time in a very long time, Scott sees just how far ahead the road stretches.

If they defeat Xornoth, he will have to survive hundreds of years without Jimmy. He will have to watch his beloved fade from the memory of mortals, as the world changes and he is alone.

Alinar is always alone in the paintings.

And then, after he dies, there will be nobody to anchor any part of Jimmy to this world.

No one lives forever, but even Jimmy's death will not last.

Scott turns away from the hall of paintings, adjusting the veil covering his face. He needs to plan a memorial worth a place in history.

He leaves Rivendell and sets out for the Ocean Kingdom, swallowing back the lump in his throat.

He can't help but think, in future paintings, he will always be portrayed alone.

-

Scott's shown to a meeting room when he arrives (after he's led to a set of rooms to change from his travel wear and throw some water on his face), and as he waits, examining the carvings on the table, he's reminded of another Ocean Kingdom meeting room, from months and worlds ago, when he had waited half-asleep to request an alliance.

He thinks, maybe, that he was in love with Jimmy, even back then. Back when he knew practically nothing about the man, some part of his soul deep within knew that they belonged together.

Which is a stupid and cheesy thought, as true as it may be. After all, he'd been so worried about Jimmy that he hadn't gotten much sleep in days. What kind of person does that without having feelings attached?

There were so many things to love about Jimmy, too. His sense of humor, the dimple in his cheek, his strong hugs, the kindness in his every action, his perpetually tangled hair, his loud laugh, the soft smiles he reserved for Scott, the feel of his lips. . . .

And he's gone.

And Scott knows that.

And now he has to live with it.

"Hey."

Scott looks up; Lizzie stands in the doorway, dressed in a simple grey dress that hangs off the shoulders. She gives him a small smile but makes no move to join him at the table.

Scott, of course, stands. He inclines his head in a bit of a bow, straightens his crown where it's set carefully over his hood.

"It's good to see you," he says, after what's probably been too long of a time. He waits for Lizzie to step within, but she still lingers.

"I wish they had been under happier circumstances," Lizzie says. "Apologies if I have to be pulled away, my armies are active at the moment."

"All going well?"

"Very," she replies. "As it turns out, it's a little difficult to attack an underwater empire when you can't breathe underwater."

Scott chuckles politely. That makes sense.

They stand in silence for a few more moments before Lizzie sighs.

"Look, Scott," she says. "I don't really want to sit here and talk about my little brother's death. Can we walk?"

Scott hurries to obey, shoving his chair in and tripping over his own robe. Lizzie waits patiently by the door, begins walking as soon as he gets out of the room.

"Not to—not to bring the conversation down—" Scott says, lengthening his stride to keep up (for someone who's only five foot something, Lizzie moves fast), "but . . . isn't that what this meeting is about?"

"Hm?"

"You just said that you don't wish to talk about—about Jimmy," he says, willing his voice not to crack. "But—"

"Joel actually offered to take care of it," Lizzie says. She halts, turns to look out the large windows of the passageway they've been walking down.

Scott stops beside her. They're in an underwater portion of the palace, and out the window is the sea.

A school of fish swim by, right beside the window, beyond them the clear blues of a sun-filtered ocean. Scott watches the waves on the surface (they're only just below) lap back and forth, adding a gentle sway to the floating bits of seaweed and the little bubbles.

"Mezeleans do a three day mourning period," Lizzie says after a moment. "Joel felt bad. He wanted to do more. So he asked if he could plan the service, since he doesn't have a forty day mourning period like us."

Scott blinks. "Sorry, forty days?"

"Yes," says Lizzie. She turns to Scott. "Is yours different?"

Forty days doesn't feel near long enough. That means Lizzie has only—what, three more weeks of mourning? And then she has to go on with her life, as if Jimmy never existed?

"For a betrothed, the elven tradition is one year," Scott tells her, watching her face for a reaction.

Her eyebrows raise, her eyes flick over to his veil before turning back to the sea.

"The court made its decision, then."

Scott nods.

They stand there, silent, staring out the window.

"I can't even imagine a year," Lizzie says at the same time as Scott says, "Only forty days?"

Scott mutters an apology. Lizzie shrugs.

"It gives us enough time to remember the dead, then go on to celebrate their life," she says. "Not long enough that we dwell, but long enough that we honor them. The grief is too heavy to carry it for so long. How can you even survive a year of it?"

"We lead a long life," says Scott. "Most elves live to be a thousand years old. A year isn't so long a time in the grand turning of our lives—can we not give it up for our loved ones?"

That's what he's been taught, at least. Standing here at the beginning of it, a year feels like an awfully long period of time.

He can see the appeal of forty days, even if he can't even imagine it. And worse, Joel—three days. As much time as he spent sequestered in Gem's secret library. That was the entire length of Joel's mourning period.

And suddenly, Scott remembers something that he's been carrying around for the past two weeks.

"I have something for you," he says, reaching for his shoulder bag. Right, he'd left it in the set of rooms that he'd freshened up in— "I found it at Crystal Cliffs—"

"I have something for you, too," Lizzie interrupts. "I thought it looked kind of elvish, but I wasn't sure—"

"Can we stop by my rooms, and I can get it?"

Lizzie nods. "Yours is in the Grotto, we can go on the way—"

And with that, she's off at almost a run, back down the way they came.

Scott follows, robes billowing around him, each step a hard slap against the prismarine floor, as compared to Lizzie's almost silent feet. She stops at the set of guest rooms that Scott had been led to earlier, and he grabs his satchel off the hook just inside the door before she takes off again, to the end of the hall, and down down down a long spiral staircase.

Scott follows, legs beginning to burn. In Rivendell, he usually just glides down cliffs or long staircases. He isn't used to the tight spirals here, no room to spread his wings to their full length.

They go down at least five levels. Scott doesn't really like being underground—even Gem's hidden library had been a little too close for comfort—but he swallows back his discomfort and follows, as Lizzie leads him through a dimly lit hallway and then into a dark, smooth tunnel, walls a beautiful deep blue.

The tunnel's made of glass, he realizes about halfway down, after trying to figure out what material could have been used to create such a mesmerizing blue-ish darkness. It's glass, and through the other side is the depths of the ocean.

As impressive as it is, Scott's not sure he likes that. Water all around him, ready to flood in if the glass breaks under all the pressure? Doesn't really sound like his idea of fun. He can't exactly swim all that well—his feathers get waterlogged instantly and he tends to sink fairly quickly. He found that out when he was around sixty-five or seventy, and Xornoth tried to drown him. Good times.

But he follows Lizzie through the tunnel, trusting that she wouldn't take him down any path likely to break. And trusting a bit more, perhaps, in her ability to save him if he does end up drowning.

Then Scott steps into the room at the end of the tunnel, and feels his eyebrows practically hit his hairline.

This is beautiful.

A cave, small but open, lit by lanterns hanging from the craggly ceiling, lined with shelves and stools chiseled out of stone. The cave sparkles, as if the rock that forms it is actually crystal, or rather, that little specks of gold are woven in so well with the stone that the sparkle has become indiscernible from the rock.

The shelves carved into the rock hold all manners of preciosities, from ancient crowns to sparkling jewels to seemingly ordinary items that glow with a magical sheen. Fishnets hang from the cave wall, and from those fishnets hang exceedingly fine pieces of armor and clothing, some so bright they seem to be a patch of starlight, others made of materials that look like they oughtn't be clothes (is that a dress made of driftwood?). Scott sees a tiara made entirely out of sapphires wired together, a pair of gloves sewn of what appears to be a spider's string, a bundle of bejeweled fish hooks, and a clearly enchanted scepter made of glass all on the first shelf, but Lizzie bypasses all of these things without even a second glance and leads the way to the left side of the cave, where she draws back one of the nets.

She turns after a moment, raises an eyebrow to see Scott still standing in the entryway.

"Right, you've never been down here," she says after a moment of staring at each other. "Welcome to the Grotto, home of the Ocean Kingdom's treasures! Ignore them, though. This is for you, over here."

Scott's kind of afraid that he'll knock something over, considering the fragile items on the shelves and stone stools and the size of his wings. But he inches his way through anyhow, keeping an eye on his every side. His thumb runs along the stitches of the cod on his satchel as he steps sideways around a glowing red rock on a pedestal, each movement careful until he reaches Lizzie.

She's holding back the net on this part of the wall to reveal behind it a little alcove, which begs the question of other alcoves all through this room, hiding who knows what. Scott steps forward, peers within.

Inside this little stone alcove is a pair of soft, blue leather boots, tall and folded over on themselves, the laces a faded white. A script that he instantly recognizes as Old Elvish (a bit of a shock to find here, surrounded by so many unfamiliarities) is pressed into the leather, trailing around the foot and up the back of the boots.

They almost seem to glow.

Scott feels something heavy in his chest, as if his breath has weighed all the way down to his stomach.

They feel . . . powerful. Magical.

Gingerly, Scott picks them up (something ancient pulses out through his fingers as they wrap around the soft leather), turns them over to look at the soles. He's not sure what he expects to find—a label? A size?—but the sole is blank, just barely scuffed from wear.

They haven't been used much, then. Barely-worn.

These boots are the other artifact. Scott's sure of it.

He doesn't know how, or why, but he knows.

He's holding boots that Alinar himself wore. Alinar wore these to face off Exor's Champion.

Was Alinar afraid? Did he stand there, palms sweating, feet flexing in these very boots, just gathering the courage to attack?

Did he think he would survive? Did he doubt himself?

Thoughts that Scott's never had before just push into his mind. In the stories, Alinar is always calm in battle, assured in his power, wise in his rulings.

But now that Scott is almost literally in his shoes, he can't help but wonder if Alinar ever felt the doubts he's feeling. If Alinar felt the pain of his losses so profoundly that he wasn't sure he could go on. If Alinar was scared his plans wouldn't work and he would lose the war, lose everything. If Alinar ever was tired of the weight of the entire world on his shoulders.

"They felt powerful," Lizzie says. Scott starts—he had forgotten she was there.

She's right. They are powerful, even if he doesn't understand how yet.

"I think," he says, putting his thoughts behind him, "that these are very important."

He doesn't say anything else about them. He doesn't say that he thinks they might end the war. He doesn't say that he thinks this is it, he thinks he has both the artifacts now and that means it's time to take down Xornoth.

Instead, he asks, still somewhat in awe, "Where did you find them?"

Lizzie shrugs. "Well, you know the Mezelean mourning period?" she says. "Three days of total isolation. We thought it was best, since I am the queen consort of Mezelea, that I participate in it as well. So those three days I spent down here, cataloguing the treasures. I don't know what many of them are, after all. I found those right there in the wall. When I tried to touch them, they . . . they burned me."

Scott looks at the boots in his hands, then back at Lizzie. "And you didn't warn me?" he says incredulously.

Lizzie seems unrepentant. "I figured you knew what you were doing."

"What I'm hearing is that you were going to let me get burned."

"That doesn't matter. So—what do they mean?"

They could mean everything.

Scott just shrugs, though, and shifts them to one arm so he can reach into his satchel with the other.

From his satchel, he pulls the ancient book he'd found, with the unfamiliar writings and the little bag hanging from the spine.

(Unnoticed, the smaller book that was tucked inside slips from between the pages of the book, falling deeper into Scott's shoulder bag.)

"Gem found a secret library," he explains, handing Lizzie the book. "We thought this looked kind of Oceanic. Can you read it?"

Lizzie takes it from his hands carefully, studies the cover.

She goes entirely still.

"What is it?" Scott prods.

She doesn't respond. She doesn't even seem to hear him, eyes scanning the cover of the book. Trance-like, she reaches for the little drawstring bag, squeezes it gently in her palm.

Before Scott can repeat his question, Lizzie turns to the stool beside her, sweeps off the glowing wooden staff resting there without a second thought. Scott hops back as the staff clatters against the stone ground, shooting sparks from both ends.

She lays the book on the stool, but doesn't flip it open. Instead, she picks up the pouch, hanging by the cord, and pulls it open. She peers inside, then tips the pouch over onto the stool.

"What is that?"

"I . . . have no idea," Lizzie says.

The 'that' in question is some kind of ball, a little wobbly like jelly, blue and flecked with gold and green. It's not quite round, parts of it sprouting with something like seaweed, little leaves poking out in a couple of different places.

It looks gross, if Scott's being honest with himself. He can just imagine the way it feels, squishy and weirdly sticky but not and—urgh, he never wants to touch it ever. It definitely is the kind of thing that would make all of his hairs stand on end and shivers run up his spine. He wants to gag just thinking about it.

"I wonder how long that's been in there," Lizzie whispers, sounding almost awestruck.

"Well, Gem's library hasn't been touched in hundreds of years, probably," Scott says. "So a while."

"Do you think it's crunchy?"

"Why would it be crunchy?"

"Parts of it look like seaglass." Lizzie, daringly, pokes the ball. It jiggles.

"Why would you touch it?" hisses Scott, just barely suppressing his gag reflex. "Great, now you probably have diseases."

"Say I were to take a bite out of it."

"Do not take a bite out of it."

"I'm not going to! But say I were. Would it be slimy, or chewy? Or crunchy."

"It doesn't matter, because you aren't going to eat it."

"Don't tell me what to do, Smajor."

"Oh, for Aeor's—" Scott cuts off the curse with a little sound—not a scream, or a screech, nothing undignified like that would ever leave his mouth—of fright as the staff on the floor shoots out sparks again, almost seeming to aim for him.

"Your god is mad at you for invoking his name to stop me from eating the thing," Lizzie says somberly. "He wants me to eat the thing."

Scott puts his hands in the air, still holding the boots. He shouldn't try to argue, it'll only make her more set in her ways. "Look, when you die after eating it—because that thing absolutely will kill you, look at it—tell Jimmy that I tried to stop you, and you made the choice yourself."

Lizzie lets out a snort of laughter, something that both relieves Scott (it was an okay joke to make, they're both starting to heal) and scares him (he just mentioned Jimmy and he isn't crying, he made a joke about his dead fiance, it should hurt more than it does).

"Of course. Any other messages to pass along before I experience this delightful new fruit?"

So, so many things. He oughtn't take this seriously, really—they're just kidding around, Lizzie isn't actually going to eat that thing.

"Just tell him I love him," he says, going for a light tone. It falls flat, sad, and Lizzie just looks awkwardly at her feet.

"If I could've changed anything, I would have," she says after a moment. "That warning message you sent? Hours after I got it, we received word from the Cod Empire that the attack had begun. I can't help but feel . . . maybe I should've gone to check on him. Called him to the Ocean for some reason. But . . . . maybe that wouldn't have really made anything better, would it?"

Scott opens his mouth to protest—Jimmy being alive would make things quite a bit better, in his opinion—but Lizzie continues.

"You haven't been there, Scott," she says mournfully. "The Codlands. It's . . . it's bad. And whether Jimmy was there or not, they would've been conquered. At least, with Jimmy's death, they feel like they have a purpose to keep fighting. Keep going. They think if they annoy Sausage badly enough, he'll just give up on them. If Jimmy was here right now, I don't think they'd have the motivation. So if anything good comes of Jimmy's death . . . I hope it's that."

Possibly the most bleak and depressing thing Scott's ever heard Lizzie say, and it absolutely makes him want to cry.

He's not going to cry, though. Despite the fact that Lizzie said the words Jimmy's death twice just then, and said that maybe good would come of it, Scott isn't going to cry.

Instead, he hefts the boots in his arms, and Lizzie, still looking away, picks up the book again and loops the cord hanging from the spine around her fingers.

"You have the boots," she says, voice a bit thick. "I have the book. Sounds like a deal. Want to shake on it?"

Scott does his best to smile. "Of course," he says, shifting the boots more to his left arm and extending his right.

Lizzie's hand meets his, cool and soft, his thumb brushing against a scale on her knuckle.

Maybe it's his imagination, but as his hand grips hers, something sparks up his arm.

Something electric courses up through his veins, up his arm and through his shoulder into his throat and down to his toes, and Scott doesn't move, frozen by the feeling, but Lizzie's hand jerks a little and he looks up to see her wide-eyed, a frown creasing her brow.

They stand there, hand in hand, unmoving.

All is silent.

"That felt important," Lizzie says in a hushed tone.

"That was some sort of deal with destiny," Scott agrees, looking down at the boots in his grasp, the book in Lizzie's.

These are both something very, very crucial.

And now to get to work.

-

He isn't able to get straight to work, though, only managing to find two books on artifacts and their qualities before he receives a summons to Jimmy's memorial service.

It's held at the Overgrown, and Scott arrives in his best mourning vestments, the Cod-made bag on his shoulder. Ilphas accompanies him, along with three guards.

Lizzie is seated beside him, at the front, hair braided behind her and dress long and layered, gently melding from light grey at the top to black at the hem. Joel sits behind the pulpit, anxiously shuffling papers for the eulogy, dressed normally but for the black sash across his purple coat. Katherine is across the aisle, her normal lavender dress replaced by a blue floral-patterned one, flowers weaved into her hair.

Shelby takes her seat behind Scott, a handkerchief clutched in her hand, dressed in a brown three-piece suit. Gem sits beside her, squeezing Scott's shoulder briefly, wearing her normal but in black.

Pearl finds a place behind Katherine, wearing a sunny yellow shirt under a grey dress, her sunflower crown sparkling on her head. The place beside her, reserved for Pix, remains empty.

The next three rows seat their various guards and advisors, one row left open for the three leaders that had to be invited, but know better than to show up. Scott won't hesitate to kill a man at his fiance's funeral, and he imagines that there would be a bit of a line behind him to pummel the dead bodies.

And behind them, the chapel is full of various minor royals that had been able to make the trip. Scott recognizes several elves, a Mezelean duke, and a representative from the Grimlands who seems very uncomfortable beside the fae that he's seated between.

There are also, to his surprise, near the back of the seats, a handful of Cod people, their finest clothes shabby and their heads bowed.

Scott turns back around in his seat when he catches Ilphas glaring at him. It isn't proper to be peering over his shoulder at all those who file in. He's a king, his job is to look kingly.

So he stares, blankly (hoping he looks at least somewhat enigmatic), at the pulpit.

And the service . . . the service is nice. Joel gives a nice eulogy, and Katherine says a couple of words, and about halfway through the service, the group of Cod refugees perform a traditional Cod song of farewell, which absolutely brings tears to Scott's eyes.

But it doesn't really feel like Jimmy. Jimmy was awkward, and hotheaded, and loud, and funny, and full of so much love. And even though Joel calls him an idiot three separate times during the eulogy, Scott just feels like the whole ceremony is too stiff and polite for it to be right.

And then Lizzie stands up, and makes her way to the pulpit for her closing remarks.

She gazes out among the people, chin held high and eyes solemn. When she speaks, her voice carries all the way to the back of the airy chapel.

"I knew the Codfather better than anyone," she starts, regal and measured. "I knew his character, his dreams, all his likes and his dislikes—or, most of them. Some of them I had no interest in knowing, but I'm sure Lord Smajor can tell you all about them."

A light chuckle ripples through the crowd. Scott feels his cheeks go just a tad bit paler. Lizzie catches his eye to give him a bit of a smile before turning back out to the congregation.

"I knew Jimmy," she continues. "And I know that my brother would never run from a fight. He was brave, and stubborn, and maybe a little stupid—which I can say, because he was my little brother. It was that bravery, that stubbornness—that loyalty that he had, that kept him from backing down. Even at his last moment."

She pauses, eyes on the back of the crowd. "Jimmy fought until the very end," she says, the words strong. "Even as the sword of a Mythland soldier drove past his armor, he fought. Even as his lifeblood spilled from him, he fought. Even as he fell to his knees, he fought."

Her voice is shaking suddenly, not with grief, not with anxiety, but with anger—hot, radiating anger. And Scott's face is wet, the veil sticking to his cheeks, a lump in his throat that he keeps trying to swallow away; he'd made it this far without crying but he hadn't heard those details and he can't control the tears.

Where did Lizzie get details about Jimmy's death?

"My brother fought for your freedom, and died for your freedom," declares Lizzie fiercely, tears sparkling in her eyes. "I would therefore urge you to defend your people, your country, and fight back against the evil of this demon! Don't let Jimmy's death be in vain. His people are currently in the captivity of Mythland, subjected to poverty and brutality, and if there is anything that we can do to keep the memory of the Codfather alive it is fight. Fight for their freedom, for your freedom, and for the eternal freedom of all who have already lost their lives in this war. Fight for Jimmy."

And on that dramatic note, she steps away and sits down. Scott can feel (not quite hear, more the sight of her shoulders shaking in his peripheral) her breathing heavily beside him, somehow managing to sound angry without even making a noise.

Silence.

Not a member of the crowd so much as coughs.

After a long moment, Joel stands again, steps up to the podium.

Scott expects him to be anxious, awkward. He can't well look around behind him, but he can imagine that quite a few of both Katherine's and Pearl's people would be unhappy with that speech, as both empires have currently declared neutrality in the conflict. He expects Joel to make some sort of vague statement about how everyone is doing their part, and maybe remark on how bold Lizzie's words had been with a nervous little laugh.

Joel doesn't do that, though. Joel levels his steely gaze at the crowd and says, words precise and cut-off, "Thank you for your words, your majesty. I'm sure that we will all find them enlightening and instructive."

Joel's mad, then. Scott's seen Joel's performance anger, his blustering and shouting and shaking of his head. He's never seen this frigidity, so perfectly the opposite of Lizzie just moments ago.

He's a little bit glad he turned down Joel's invitation to speak. He doesn't know how he would have competed with the two of them.

"Thank you to all who attended, especially those refugees from the Codlands. Our hearts and swords are with you in this time of loss."

Joel takes another moment just to look out over everyone, face stony, eyes cold. He nods sharply.

"Have a good evening."

Nobody moves. Scott resists the very strong urge to glance around.

Then Joel steps away, and Katherine stands up, and there's the great bustle of everyone else standing and whispering and gathering their things.

Scott doesn't get up. Instead, knowing that he's being watched, he turns toward Lizzie and shakes her hand with a small nod.

"How do you know what you said?" he mutters to her.

Lizzie smiles in return, brushing a pink strand of hair that's pulled loose from her braid behind her ear. "Everarda, a Cod refugee in the Ocean Kingdom," she says in a similar tone. "She witnessed it. She only managed to escape last week."

Of course people witnessed Jimmy's death. He doesn't know why he subconsciously assumed that no one had.

Scott can't even imagine watching his fiance die like that. He can't even imagine Jimmy on his knees, pain in every line of his face, soaked in blood, yet still swinging his sword at anyone who comes near, desperate to defend his people even until he eventually collapses.

He can't imagine the hoarse cries tearing from his throat as he's stabbed, the shuddering of his shoulders as he strains to lift his sword, the clanking of his armor as he falls to his knees, the tears in his eyes as he watches his people fall around him.

And Scott definitely can't imagine that maybe, in those last moments, he'd turned his eyes upward and begged for Scott, searching the skies for his first and final hope.

"Scott," Lizzie murmurs, a note of warning in her voice.

Scott blinks, and a tear falls from his lashes. Not good. He's meant to be stoic and unfeeling and respectable, and this is the second time he's cried in public in the past hour. In the past ten minutes, even.

People are watching. Ilphas is probably going to kill him. Kings aren't supposed to cry, they aren't supposed to actually have feelings.

Hopefully it isn't too noticeable. He has his veil, after all, but his eyes do get uncommonly red when he cries. Anyone could easily see the way his eyes scrunch as he wills himself not to cry, the tears, the splotchy redness, the way his shoulders tremble just the slightest bit.

"Have you heard from Pix lately?" Lizzie says suddenly, staring past Scott to Pix's empty seat. "He was one of Jimmy's closest friends. He should have been here."

Scott doesn't know. He hasn't seen Pix since the End.

He doesn't think about it for long.

He sits there, and thinks about nothing, particularly not Jimmy, until it's time for him to leave.

And when he gets home, he dives right back into his books.

Two days later finds him alone, in his study, head achy from crying, angry at the fruitless searches and his own inaction.

And Scott's done waiting. He's done researching, done preparing. Lizzie's speech hit a chord near his heart.

If the fight won't come to him, he'll bring the fight to Xornoth.

Scott reaches into his satchel, hanging from his chair, and grabs the boots.

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | October 8-14th, 2023 [REVIEWS]

Wow it's about time I posted these reviews that I kept lying about (this week! tomorrow! in 10 years!) Better late than never?

In this post I'll drop a few general things about the production, but the performances are analyzed in my reviews linked here. I recommend reading those all in order since I revisit points about actors I've made previously along the way to avoid repeating myself. Also leaving a disclaimer that these performances are from October so there are some changes in what the actors are doing now (with the exception of Jeon Dong-seok since he left in November) Apologies in advance for my wordiness, but this is more of a "release my feelings for my sake and if anyone else likes it that's cool too" kind of thing? Listen - I wrote a lot of notes on my performances there. So just go in knowing this is the more coherent version of my insane looking notes app!

Before I start I want to thank a few lovely friends who helped me out with this trip because it wouldn't have gone as well as it did without them!

Thank you to @lucygold95 for helping me so much with planning over the past months and for giving me the best time in Busan. Thank you @capitanogiorgio for all the shenanigans we went through and the most special time going to the 1500th and meeting Yoon Young-seok. Thank you to @fadinglandtragedy for the fun talks and the good advice before my trip! The best part of things like this is making friends of course! : )

PERFORMANCE REVIEWS:

| October 8, 2023 | October 11, 2023 | October 12, 2023 | | October 13, 2023 (M) | October 13, 2023 (E) | October 14, 2023 |

STAGE & THEATER

This was as close to the original staging as possible. So I was able to take it in one more (or I guess 6 more?) times post-Broadway closing. The Charlotte Theater is a lot smaller than the Majestic so every view was pretty solid in my opinion, even the second to last row. I took a video of my view from 4th row under the chandelier during the exit music on October 11th so you can see! The angel and chandelier are shown halfway through. I'd say 5th row was almost the cut off for the chandelier drop (that was my spot next day) Broadway seats in this area were always too expensive for me so I'm glad I was able to grab these spots for this production

There were photo zones you can take pics at which you've probably seen. One was a large rose wall, the other was the cute statue of their mascot 오유령. People also take forever lining up for the cast boards for photos and yes I was one of those people. Here's a comparison of the cast boards from the second season (pictures I found when reading old reviews on Naver) and the cast boards now (I forgot to take a photo of one on the top floor though)

I found this review where someone took more detailed clean photos than I did if you're curious about the layout and decorations!

MERCH AND GIFTS

The tickets had these designs! If you booked on Yes24, you received a special envelope and a ticket holder with the face of the Phantom performing for that show

I only didn't receive a second Ju-taek because that was booked on another site - Interpark (bottom middle ticket). I also received paper masks with printed autographs every day I went to commemorate the 200th performance of the run/100th for Seoul and the 1500th overall Korean performance. We used them for the curtain call photos on those two dates (with Jeon Dong-seok then Kim Ju-taek). There are multiple versions of the program book and at the time of writing this I have all except the Daegu one. The first Busan program book was pretty bare and only had the teaser pictures - the same was the case for my Les Mis program book in Busan. -There are different photos in each one, so to me it was worth grabbing them all. My third version signed by Kim Ju-taek is currently on display as you can see below! (The writing says "내 노래를 날게 해 주오 - Make my song take flight") Once again thank you to Lucy for this! 🥹❤️

Here's some of my POTO merch (including a spare cupsleeve from the coffee shop next door, I also had a keyring, but I forgot to show it) RIP to the second program book I sacrificed for scans I still have the pages stored/displayed though! I'm not wasteful! I'll have more to post soon after sharing these reviews

TRANSLATION

Let me emphasize this: my Korean abilities are limited, so don't look to me as the expert on this at all. But I'll still share my notes and perspective as an outsider who's studying The lyrics have changed quite a bit since 2001-2. There are still lines kept or songs that are mostly similar. MOTN had a lot of similarity to 2009-11 even with its changes, STYDI was identical to 2009-11, but Angel of Music was pretty different from even the last season, etc etc. The Phantoms all have unique lines sprinkled here and there, mainly in MOTN (this happens sometimes in Korean musicals). You get some things like random single line changes in some parts depending on the actor or different order/wording of the same lines as well. Just tiny diversions from the script. This is the case for the Christines and Raoul to a lesser extent. Additionally, actors are often permitted to do some occasional improvisation/ad libs. Some unique lines are pretty normal parts of their interpretations now, some appear depending on the feeling of the performance, some are one time only events. I'll mention some of the actor-specific ones and such in their actual reviews, but I have been trying to mark down all of the differences like these for example

Of course, some things obviously have to be adjusted to make sense because of cultural / linguistic reasons. So one example would be the "Wrote...written" line in Notes I. Firmin speaks rudely and informally, but quickly tries adding a more respectful ending particle 요 after Raoul and André give him a shocked 'what did you just say?' kind of look. So "대체 뭘 썼다고 하는 건데...요!" is pretty much like "What the hell are you saying I wrote?" André would look so embarrassed by this each time 🫣

퇴근길 / STAGE DOOR

Stage door doesn't really work the same as it does in places like New York, London, etc. Most of the time if an actor comes out it's more like a quick greeting or chat with the fans. Some actors (not in this case) might sign or take photos in designated spots, but it really depends and it's not so common. It's gotten more restricted ever since COVID as well. 퇴근길 -> "way home from work" is literally what this is called. Dong-seok did wave at us a few times happily after the 200th performance, Gun-ha briefly came out to thank fans after the 1500th while Ceci and I waited to meet Young-seok who had agreed to meet us. I did not have the time (or strength) for the Seung-woo mob, but he usually greets fans after shows.

I literally asked Yoon Young-seok directly on Instagram if Ceci and I could meet him and give him gifts because I figured it didn't hurt to try! When he agreed, my anxiety was not necessarily about meeting an actor, but more about my ability to express my thoughts in another language. But he was truly the sweetest guy and incredibly patient. I think he got that I understood everything he said, but that replying was a whole other challenge. I'm glad I was making enough sense that he was able to get my points and helped me finish sentences if I looked stressed about it 😂 I basically told him I had been planning this trip since the cast announcement because it was too perfect to miss and that I came for 6 shows. I really like to listen to his Phantom on the cast recordings and I thought he made the shows I had seen so far so much fun.

We both said where we were from (the US and France) and he was amazed. He was also shocked when I pulled out my original Korean cast recording (I still laugh thinking about the way he said "와, 세상에!" like "Wow, oh my god!" and enthusiastically took it agreeing to sign when I was mid-way asking him haha) I also thought it was funny when he asked Ceci if she saw his Phantom last season. We wish! But she mentioned she had gone to Busan a few times and he looked very touched and appreciative that we went to multiple performances 🥹 This poor man was tired he signed our things with November (11.13) though and he also spelled Ceci's name wrong first time, but it was the 1500th show though okay. And if he says it's November...who are we to question him? Ceci should also legally change names so he isn't wrong. Anyway, ramble over you can find the art we made for him in this post

OTHER

Here's just bonus fun I had that I will manage to connect to POTO despite it not being POTO because I love doing that. I mean I went because I like these musicals as well (otherwise I would've been foolish enough to go see Ben-Hur but I have, uh, standards for my plots sorry to Park Eun-tae 😭), but it's fun to point out these things. I'm happy to share my show experiences in a different post if anyone's interested in my thoughts on those

Rebecca

I went to see Rebecca, mainly focused on seeing a scheduled date for 이지혜 Lee Ji-hye (Ich) and 장은아 Jang Eun-ah (Mrs Danvers). The whole cast was fantastic. Some Korean musicals have special encore bits they do where the leads sing a part of a song from the show during bows so that was really fun. Unfortunately, we don't get to have fun at POTO like that haha

Lee Ji-hye was in Y&K Phantom as Christine in the same cast as Jeon Dong-seok (Erik), Yoon Young-seok (Gérard Carrière), and Lee Sang-jun (Cholet). Two other cast members in Rebecca were in Y&K as well - 에녹 Enoch (Maxim) who was Philippe and 신영숙 Shin Young-sook (Mrs Danvers) who was Carlotta. Sadly, they had such few shows this season due to a busy schedule, so I couldn't see them (when will trot give Enoch back to musicals). Original Korean ALW Raoul and Y&K Erik 류정한 Ryu Jeong-han was also on rotation as Maxim, but I picked another day for my show so I didn't see him either

Les Misérables

I went to opening night of Les Mis in Busan! It was the Dream Theater, same place POTO played at before. As many of you already know, Choi Jae-rim is playing Jean Valjean at the same time as the Phantom.

I could recognize him easily as the Phantom, but honestly when he appeared at the very start of Les Mis it took me a minute to process that it was him! While I did enjoy his Phantom a lot, I think I enjoyed his Valjean performance a little more. It was only opening night, so curious to see how things develop!

The actor who played Javert that night, 카이 Kai (stage name), was a former Y&K Erik for two seasons too. So many Phantoms!

Frankenstein

On the last day I got to see Dong-seok and Ji-hye once more in a concert for the musical Frankenstein which they have been in together. So have some pics I took without a mask blocking his face!

Ending Note

Thinking back to December 2022 when I said: "Maybe I'll go to Seoul and see Dong-seok once or twice and that's it, I can have my first international POTO" That was funny. That was really very very funny and silly of me to say. 9 performances and 6 of those were POTO! But I'm so grateful and I have zero regrets about it. This is one of the best experiences I've had even if it might look ridiculous to some people to do something like this...I don't care! I hope my crazy essays can help paint a good picture for you!

[fadinglandtragedy]

August 12, 2023 Seoul

Cast : Kim ju-taek, Sohn ji-soo, Hwang gun-ha

[first review]

[second review]

KJT Phantom will be the Phantom's favorite Phantom…

Once you hear him sing *in the theatre*, it's the point of no return. I guarantee it. I've heard a lot of Phantoms sing over the years, but when you sit in a theater and are surrounded by KJT's voice, you realize that there really isn't a singer who can top him...

i mean, really! The first thing I thought of while listening to his MOTN was the story of Zeus and Semele, where Semele asked Zeus to show her his true colors, and Zeus showed up in his most humble attire, but she burned to death. I can't help but feel that...He has a voice that is beyond human, but he is singing at a level that we humans can handle...

The only thing I wish is that he would have connected the strength of his voice (absolute majesty) to his acting, giving it more weight and emotional control.

I feel like he was heavily influenced by JSW and JDS, and they are actors who fill their scenes with emotional outbursts and added details, which is not KJT's strength as he can fill the stage with his majestic voice… A singing is a singing, and it's true that his musical acting is inexperienced…lol Wouldn't it have been enough if he just stuck to the script without being... greedy?(sorry but i really want to see serious phantom...😂)

Choosing SJS christine as his partner was a great choice. She's thoughtful (she wants to comfort Phantom even in the STYDI), and the desire to reach the angels of music is desperate. but she's human after all… Like Semele, her Christine is not the right vessel to receive the KJT Phantom, so it seems that she will not be able to survive by his side. It's not that Christine isn't good enough, it's that the Phantom is more than humans can handle.

Her portrayal of Christine is very sweet, but at the same time, you can really feel her fear of the Phantom as an absolute. That's why I feel like KJT and her fit together like puzzle pieces...

And! This time I realized, when the managers praise her prima donna debut, she hears it from the room and smiles proudly! So cute omg

As for HGH Raoul, looking at him makes me think about how different he is compared to the SWG Raoul I saw just before.

HGH Raoul is young. He seems to have a lot of anger, but it can also be seen as passion. He finds it difficult to understand Christine, but at the same time, he doesn't always wrap his arms around her but helps her face the trials she has to face under his protection.

like, In TWISTED EVERY WAY, SJS Christine shrinks back in fear, but he doesn't let go of her hand and pulls her to face reality. It wasn't that he was cold, this seemed to be his way of loving.. Helping her do something she doesn't want to do but needs to do (face the Phantom as a man).

The biggest difference in SWG Raoul is that in the rooftop scene, He turns his head with Christine as if they heard the phantom's 'Christine...' together. HGH Raoul doesn't understand the confused Christine at all, but SWG Raoul definitely notices something is very wrong.

HGH raoul will be an eternal stranger in the world of the phantom and christine, but she will no longer be in that world.

The terzetto of these three was staggering. The final lair is…🤯 Andrew Lloyd Webber should see their show. I’m deadly serious. If he sees this, he'll stop the… some ridiculous non-replica productions and focus on finding good actors. This is what the original POTO was all about. To move the audience through song. To make them stop breathe and focus on the show…

I didn't think their acting was special. But with their singing alone, they made the scene suspenseful and compelling.

+ KJT grabbed Raoul's arm as he was putting the lasso on and started singing, teasing him (백마 탄 왕자님아!/Prince charming!), and it was a small funny scene where HGH Raoul got annoyed and brushed it off lol

I loved the rest of the cast, but as always, it was Piangi and Andre who stood out for me. I'm obsessed with PHR Piangi, and I'd feel like I hadn't seen a full show if he didn't hold that high notes🤣 (and he does that in every show I've ever seen!)

YYS Andre makes me laugh every time he's in the box seats. Not to mention the way he watches Christine nervously and then claps in ecstasy, or the way he freaks out when Carlotta throws Christine into bed in Il Muto, He is so Scene stealer.

In Il muto, everyone laughed when Carlotta tried to pull up Christine's skirt, but it didn't come off and SJS was dragged away. I didn't notice because I was looking elsewhere through my opera glasses...🥲 I'll admit that POTO has a very pretty stage to watch from the upper seats, but I think the first floor is the best for watching the actors.

[eighthsensed]

Teen Vogue Excerpt – Why Queer Characters in LGBTQ Movies and BL Dramas Find Solace at the Beach

BY K-CI WILLIAMS JUNE 29, 2023

The Eighth Sense, a BL drama from South Korea, lives and dies by the beach. Oh Jun-taek plays Jihyun, a college student from a small town who struggles to acclimatize to metropolitan Seoul. When Jihyun joins the surfing club, he bonds with his senior, Jaewon, played by Im Ji-sub. As they fall in love, the beach becomes their spot for sleeping under the stars and even kissing in the ocean. “The beach is kind of like a tool that connects us,” Ji-sub tells Teen Vogue over Zoom, in his native Korean. Jun-taek adds that the “beach is very wide but Jihyun has been living in a world that has been very small,” and although “the ocean itself is very cold, the ocean was actually very warm for Jihyun.” It’s a site of transformation for them both, just as water metamorphoses between its forms.

Ji-sub names the beach as a “special spot” for Jaewon, “where he can relax and heal mentally as well.” Jaewon’s younger brother tragically passed away a number of years before we meet him in the series, and the trauma still sits with him. “I didn't realize how broad a range of emotions can be felt when you love someone until I played the character Jaewon, because it's something that I personally didn't experience,” Ji-sub says. Jaewon welcomes Jihyun into his place of significance, illuminating his dark spaces and ultimately bringing the pair together.

Jun-taek alludes to the title of the series, recalling our senses as human beings. Interoception, often called the eighth sense, is the brain’s perception of the body’s state, thanks to signals transmitted from our internal organs. Understanding these signals can help us regulate our physical and emotional state, though at the same time, trauma can inhibit those pathways. “The beach kiss scene was the sequence [in which] someone with pain and bad memories, PTSD in the past, turns into love and being healed by Jihyun,” Jun-taek says. “Although you have bad memories or trauma…you can be healed. Do not remain, do not stay with the pain.”

Inu Baek, one half of The Eighth Sense’s writer/director duo, attributes the beach to a specific cultural symbolism. He refers to the United Nations Human Rights Committee’s 2015 advice for South Korea to adopt comprehensive protections for all citizens, which would prohibit discrimination against the queer community. “We have not been able to enact the anti-discrimination law in Korea yet,” Inu tells Teen Vogue. He wanted to “give the Korean audience a message because Korea has experienced lots of disasters in the ocean” that are still ever-present traumas for citizens, such as the Sewol ferry tragedy — the show even pays tribute to those lost with a covertly placed yellow ribbon. “The beach symbolizes the hope of the harmony of this country,” Inu says.

A still from The Eighth Sense. COURTESY OF THE EIGHTH SENSE

The show’s other writer/director is Werner du Plessis, who offers the beach as a representation of “the ebb and flow of relationships, the way that they move, the way that they’re never consistent,” but also a “space that is simultaneously peaceful, while being extremely dangerous, like the ocean is such an unknown.” And also, quicksand exists. Intrinsic to our genesis as queer people is navigating identity, from day dot. As the intersection of two worlds, toeing the line between who society expects us to be and who we truly are inside, the beach is “such a beautiful metaphor for queer people,” Werner says, “because it’s exactly the way that we’re designed.”