#but said posts that were liked were nowhere near each other in the tag or my profile

[ninjadudettekira]

Hey so I think everyone needs a reminder on how to interact with people:

It's fine to "spam like" a person if you're just going through their stuff during the day you find said creator. If they're a popular tumblr user I doubt they'll notice if you spam their notifications after the fact cause they probably have them off anyway.

However, I am not a big tumblr user, I keep my notifications on and check here when I see them so I tend to notice the same person spamming me. This is about those of us that check notifications cause we be small and want to see the interactions.

If you're going through someones posts and you're constantly on their notifications for 11 days straight because you keep unliking and reliking their content, that's fucking creepy.

I don't mind the spam likes if it's literally just one maybe two days of someone seeing my content and liking it. (Especially the Ben 10 or Young Justice posts).

But like 11 days? That's too fucking much for me to see you in my notifications when I haven't posted much, if anything, during that time frame. Especially when it's been stuff that was already liked prior. I don't have enough Ben 10 posts that you haven't seen in one or two goddamn days. You don't need 11 days to stifle through all my Ben 10 content.

Like constantly spamming my notifications won't get me to answer your long ass ask faster, in fact it made me put it off even longer. Originally it was cause it was so long I needed to answer on my laptop so I could read it as I responded. But I also kept getting busy and forgetting to respond. So I'll take responsibility for not answering it, doesn't mean it's okay to spam like my shit for almost 2 weeks because I didn't answer you.

In fact said person even chatted me about it the other day and I explained why it took so long. (Although they apologized for it being long over asking why it took so long.) Then they proceeded to spam like content they already liked again.

Spamming won't get a creator to notice you, they'll just straight up fucking block you.

[nehi-soda]

Once More to See You - DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader No Outbreak AU

Explicit; Minors DNI 18+ only.

Summary: Joel knew exactly how to drive you wild, make you forget everything but the sensation of him; make you forget he was breaking your heart.

Word count: 2.5K

Warnings: POSSIBLY DUBCON as reader has been drinking (also tagged), P in V sex, ANGST, smut, secret relationship, praise kink, dirty talk, cream pie, heartbreak, Joel is kind of a dick, dbf!joel, au!joel, no outbreak!joel. Legal age gap (reader is early 20s, and Joel is 56). No use of Y/N. Mood board for aesthetics only; reader's features aren't specified other than Joel can pick them up.

A/N: Posting this a day late as I literally only started writing it yesterday out of nowhere. Enjoy!

Joel's annual fourth of July party was in full swing. Children were running around with sparklers, families were gathered around picnic tables laden with food, and the air was filled with music. Tommy was in control of the music, so of course, AC/DC and Lynard Skynrd had been playing all day. The smell of grilling burgers and hot dogs wafted through the air, mingling with the scent of freshly mowed grass and the tang of chlorine from the pool.

You spotted Joel near the grill, expertly flipping burgers and chatting animatedly with your dad. You felt a flutter of excitement, eager to see him after your last…hangout. As you approached, he glanced your way but quickly looked away, focusing intently on the food.

"Hey, Joel," you called out, trying to sound casual despite the nervous anticipation in your voice.

"Hey," he replied, not meeting your eyes, his tone brisk. He immediately turned to your dad, asking about the game they were planning to watch tomorrow.

You hovered nearby, hoping for a chance to talk, but every time you tried to engage him, he found a way to sidestep your attempts. First, he asked another guest to grab more buns from the kitchen. Then, he excused himself to check on the drinks. Each time you approached, he either walked away or started a conversation with someone else.

Determined not to give up, you followed him to the drinks table, where he was refilling the coolers with ice and beverages. "Joel, can we talk for a minute?" you asked, keeping your voice low.

"I'm busy right now," he said curtly, not even glancing up. He continued to work, his movements tense and hurried.

Your frustration grew as the party continued. You watched him from across the yard, perched on a bench gripping your solo cup tightly as he laughed and chatted with everyone else while avoiding you like the plague. You noticed the way he stiffened whenever you were nearby, how he seemed to find any excuse to move away from you.

“Hey, loner,” your friend Kayleigh slid in next to you, nudging your side. You didn’t answer.

“Um… you…oka-.”

“Not right now, Kay,” you answer abruptly, standing up to get yourself another drink. You downed it in one to try and quell the unease sitting in your stomach. Although it just made you feel even more sick. Something was up.

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden glow and someone had started setting up fireworks for later. Joel had just left the grill, heading toward the house with a tray of empty dishes. This was your chance. With a few more drinks in your system, you'd found the courage to quickly follow him, catching up as he reached the back door.

"Joel, we need to talk. Now," you said firmly, grabbing his arm to stop him.

He looked around, clearly uncomfortable, his eyes darting to make sure no one was watching. "Not here," he muttered.

You tailed him into the kitchen.

He began absent-mindedly washing up some dishes with his back to you.

"Alright, what’s going on? Why have you been ignoring me all day?" you demanded, crossing your arms over your chest trying to sound confident.

“How much have you had to drink?” He said, ignoring your question.

“Not a lot,” you retorted, heat rising up your body.

“That’s a fuckin’ lie,” he scoffed in his southern drawl.

“Oh, so I'm the bad person now, huh?” You replied a little too loudly. “I’m just some silly little girl who doesn’t know anything, running around after you, wondering when you might fuck me next!”

Joel threw a dish into the sink with a loud clatter, making you jump. He turned to face you, his eyes flashing. "You think this is easy for me?" he hissed, keeping his voice low but intense.

Before you could respond, the kitchen door swung open.

"Hey, you two!" Tommy greeted cheerfully, oblivious to the tension. "Just grabbing another drink. Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah, just fine," Joel replied dryly, turning away from you to look out at the yard.

Tommy lingered momentarily, grabbing a drink from the fridge and chatting casually about the party. “We’re settin’ the fireworks off soon,” he said smugly with a toothy grin.

“Oh, great.” You feigned excitement, trying to act normal, but your heart pounded.

The moment he was gone, Joel turned to you, his eyes fixed. "We can't do this here," he said through gritted teeth.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "Then where? When? You can't just avoid me forever, Joel."

Joel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Fine. Upstairs. Now." Without waiting for a response, he turned and headed toward the stairs, tugging you along by your arm.

You struggled to keep up with him as his heavy boots marched up the stairs; the drink made coordinating your feet very difficult.

Joel turned to face you once you were in his all-to-familiar bedroom with the door closed behind you.

“This needs to stop,” he said sternly.

Your heart dropped at his words. "Stop what? Us?"

"Yes. Us. It’s wrong, and it’s only goin’ to end badly. For both of us." He placed his hands on his hips.

"But we make each other happy. Isn’t that enough?" You said franticly.

"It’s not that simple," his voice strained. "Your dad… if he ever found out… it would be such a mess.”

You shook your head, tears pricking at your eyes. "But he doesn’t have to find out. We’ve been so careful. Please, Joel…I love you,” you sobbed as he pulled you into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you tightly as your fingers twisted in his plaid shirt. The warmth radiating from his body seeped into your bones like a cruel comfort.

"Shhh, I know, baby, it’s okay." Joel hushed, stroking your hair. “It's just so complicated.”

“I don’t care” you pulled back, searching his eyes for any sign that he might change his mind. But all you saw was resignation.

"Please," you whispered, your voice breaking. "Don't do this."

He cupped your face in his hands. “You deserve better than this. Better than sneakin’ around and hidin’. You deserve someone who can give you everything.”

"But I don't want anyone else," you cried, tears streaming down your face. God, you probably looked like a blabbering mess. "I want you."

Joel closed his eyes, pain etched into his features. "And I want you, too. More than you know. But this... it ain't right, darlin’,” and there is was; his velvet drawl reeling you in again. He pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, and something inside you snapped. The finality of his touch felt like a betrayal. You shoved him back with all your strength, your hands shaking with anger and hurt.

"Don't you dare!" You shouted, your voice trembling with rage. "Don't you fucking dare tell me what's right for me. You don't get to decide that."

Joel just stood there and took it.

“I wish I never fucking met you,” you muttered.

You pushed him again, harder this time. "I wish I never fucking met you!” You repeated.

Joel's expression hardened, and in an instant, he grabbed your arms, backing you up against the wall with a force that knocked the breath out of you. Your eyes were wide as his burned into you, and for a moment, you were actually scared of him. But before you could protest, he was unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. He roughly hiked up your sundress and lifted you up by the backs of your thighs.

"This is what you want?" Joel growled, his voice low and intense. "One last time, huh?"

"Joel, please...", you gasped.

Your heart raced as his lips sloppily crashed against yours. It was intoxicating; you could smell his cologne and the beer on his breath as you wrapped yourself around him, pulling him closer, needing to feel him, to lose yourself in him. One last time.

The room spun around you, the noise from the party outside fading into oblivion as he slipped your panties to the side and entered you all at once. You took a sharp breath at the sudden stretch you were unprepared for. His movements were driven by a desperate need, forcing himself into you with a mixture of pain and pleasure as you clung to him like your life depended on it. The boom of fireworks outside was the only momentary glitter of light as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of your thighs and ass; you’d hoped to find bruises there in the morning. A flash of red, then white, then blue lit up the right side of his face."You drive me fuckin’ crazy," he leaned in to mutter against your neck, his breath hot and ragged. "I can't stop thinkin’ ‘bout you."

"Th-then… d-don't," you struggled to get your words out as he knocked the air out of you. “J-just b-be with me..."

“Aaah, fuck, who’s got good pussy baby?” Joel growled, his voice low and rough.

"I... I do," you gasped, barely able to breathe as he thrust brutally against your cervix, each movement sending shockwaves through your body.

"Say it again," he demanded, his pace relentless. "Say it again, baby. I need to hear it."

"I do! " You screamed, the words tumbling out between ragged breaths. "I-I’ve got good pussy, Joel. It’s all y-yours!”

"Dirty fuckin’ girl,” he spat. "Screwing your daddy's best friend." He whispered, raw and guttural, sending shivers through you. You could see the intensity in his eyes, his primal need for you. You started to be able to take him more easily as you became wet with arousal. You arched your back, meeting his thrusts with equal fervour, every part of you alight with pleasure. Joel’s hands gripped you tighter, holding you in place as he pounded into you."Ugh…yes, Joel,” you moaned, nails clawing at his salt-and-pepper locks to pull his lips to yours. “l love it w-when you f-fuck me.”

“Hmm, always feel so good, baby,” he pants, as his cock relentlessly slides in and out of your puffy lips. Each thrust hit that sweet spot deep within you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Joel knew exactly how to drive you wild, make you forget everything but the sensation of him; make you forget he was breaking your heart.

“That’s it, baby, it’s okay, just cum for me, cum all over this cock.”

Your body trembled as you cried out his name, your pleasure shattering through you in waves. You closed your eyes tight, feeling yourself gripping every inch of him as you dug your fingers into his shoulders. Joel held you through it, his strong arms keeping you secured against him and the wall as you came apart.

He followed soon after, his release a powerful, shuddering thing that left him collapsing onto you. He emptied every last bit of him into you with a growl.  You pushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead before he buried his face into the crook of your neck, panting for breath. He pulled out of you with a groan, releasing your legs and letting your feet find the ground again. You shuffled awkwardly, rearranging your underwear and smoothing out your dress. Joel looked away, avoiding your eyes as he did his jeans and belt back up. The silence between you was thick and heavy.

"Is this really it, then?" you asked quietly, your voice trembling as you struggled to keep your composure.

Joel sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. "It has to be. We can't keep doin’ this."

You felt a surge of anger rise in your chest. "So that's it? You just use me one last time and then throw me away?"

He finally met your gaze. "It’s not like that. I never wanted it to end this way.”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face.

"But we can’t keep playin’ childish fuckin’ games, and you’re too naive to see the damage this could cause.”

"Don’t you dare put this all on me," you snapped, your voice rising. "You’re the one who started this.”

Joel took a step back. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I can’t see you again,” he said coldly.

You turned away, your heart shattering with every word he said. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. "Fuck you, Joel,” you spat, storming toward the door. You yanked it open and stepped into the hallway.

Downstairs, the sounds of the party continued but it all sounded like you were underwater.

You moved quickly to the front door and stepped out into the night, the cool air hitting your tear-streaked face. You hugged your arms and walked quickly. The air smelt like sulphur as fireworks illuminated the sky. You didn’t stop until you reached home.

The house was eerily quiet. Too quiet.

Your heart felt like it was being crushed in a vise, each breath harder to draw than the last. You could barely see through the blur of tears as you climbed the stairs, having to use your hands to steady yourself.

You reached your room and slammed the door shut, leaning against it for support. Your legs trembled, and you slid down until you was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to your chest. You clenched your fists, trying to push down the sobs, threatening to break free. You had known the risks, known how wrong it was, but you hadn't been able to help yourself.

Fucking your dad’s best friend, what did you expect; thought you’d live happily ever after with a white picket fence?

Maybe Joel was right. Maybe you were too naïve. You were fucking crazy to think this could have ended any other way.

But no one made you feel like Joel did. No one felt like Joel did. It was electric. The way he touched you, the way he made you feel alive, cherished, and understood, no one had ever come close. Joel was everything you had ever wanted and more. But now, it was all over.

A soft knock on your door. "Sweetie, can we talk?" Your dad’s voice was gentle, but you couldn't face him.

"Go away," you choked out, your voice barely more than a whisper.

“Wondered where you were. You’re missing the fireworks, honey.”

"Please, just leave me alone."

“Hm, Joel did say you weren't feelin’ well, had too much to drink?”

How so desperately you wanted to tell your dad everything just to relieve some of the weight off of your shoulders, but how could you? How could you tell him, oh, by the way, I've been fucking your best friend behind your back for months, buts he’s just ended things and torn my heart into a million pieces? I know exactly just how many kisses fit between his eyes? I know the face he makes when he cums, and I think I can actually feel his cum leaking out of me right now?

divider credit to @kthice

*title inspired by "Once More to See You" by Mitski

[tyxoxo]

Feel It

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: smut, pornstar!jaehyun au, 00’ dream inserts

words: 5.1k

warnings: pure filth, exhibitionism/voyeurism, degrading, choking/breath play, humiliation, dacryphilia, sex toys, ball gag, shibari, allusion to cum play, unprotected sex

a/n: san francisco armory, das the setting lolol (thanks kink.com 🫡)  also!! since the reader would have no way of knowing the names of 00’, hopefully i did a good enough job describing them for you all to know who is who sksks.

—

“okay, we’ll just have you sign this.” the producer with the name tag K said as he handed you a clipboard with a pen; the two of you sitting across each other in a large auditorium. 

you were fidgeting the more you sat there in the middle of the “playroom”, excitement rising with every glance of the various s&m props placed on  antique plaques. whether it was the torture rack, assorted floggers, or cattle prods, you couldn’t wait to try it all.

never in your years of living did you expect to be at an armory-turned-BDSM studio, preparing to do your first adult scene. yet here you were, only wearing a pair or your underwear, completely bare everywhere else. 

the use of a National Guard armory was oddly fitting for the company—20th century Moorish Revival architecture, albeit refurbished, still gave a sense of “grittiness” and rustic charm.

 “i know that you already submitted your online waiver but we just like to have an additional one for in-person. physical signatures are always preferred.” K snapped you out of your thoughts for a second, though your mind couldn’t help but drift back into the depths—thinking yet again to your upcoming scene.

the single sheet of paper reiterated everything you read through just a week prior:

“Mission Statement and Company Values”

typical header to start a waiver…littered with the expectations to provide a “consensual and safe space for all participants.”

your eyes scanned further down, taking a few minutes to read their “Right to Distribute Media:

By signing here, you agree to having any and all media in your presence posted to our website Kink.com, with potential distribution to other pornographic partnerships…”

you provided your signature for the two spots provided, officially sealing away what modesty you had left.  

as soon as you handed the clipboard back to K, he spoke into his bluetooth earpiece, presumably notifying the other producers of your newly sealed fate, “you guys are good to head this way.” he said before placing the clipboard on the floor next to his water bottle. 

“in a moment you’ll be able to meet your partner, and go over the do’s and don'ts, that kind of stuff.” he said, followed by a closed-mouth smile.

you smiled back, trying to hide the anxiety creeping under your skin. there was no telling what kind of man would appear through those doors, meters away from where you sat.

you kept your eyes trained on the entrance, tapping your leg up and down to pass what seemed like hours.

but then again, this was a four story building…maybe it was just taking them a while to get to where you were. 

just as you looked down at your twiddling thumbs, the heavy sound of the double-doors filled the room. the man that appeared was unlike anyone you’ve ever seen. 

he was gorgeous…

and he smiled as soon as he laid eyes on you. his dimples being the first feature that caught your attention. 

he strutted towards you, confidence exuding with every step. he only sported boxer briefs, definitely nowhere near as self-conscious as you, now that you saw his toned body. 

you tried not to make it obvious that you were eyeing his subtle six-pack. but it was hard. his body was perfect; not too overbearing, not too ordinary. still, his biceps and his quads showcased the work he put in to maintain his physique. 

the last you could observe before he stopped in front of you, was his happy trail, leading all the way to the package he had confined in his briefs. he completely ignored K, standing right in front of his field of view. 

your eyes slowly made their way to his face, still smiling so bright, with ivory teeth to match. 

“hello, my name is jaehyun. nice to meet you.” 

his voice was velvety deep, baritone. 

another surprise to you. 

jaehyun held out his right hand, but you noted the single platinum band adorned on his left ring finger, to your disappointment. 

your thoughts were outlandish, there’s no way you’d have a chance with him even if he wasn’t taken.

you returned the handshake, voice visibly shaken as you gave him your name.

“i’ll go ahead and let you guys have the floor. i’ll be back in 10.” K said with a clear of his throat. he then gave up his seat for jaehyun, making his leave towards the double-doors.

jaehyun looked back at the medieval-styled chair before sitting down, chiseled thighs growing in size once he found a comfortable position.

“so tell me a bit about yourself…”

he leaned forward in his seat, placing his hands criss-cross in between his thighs. 

the simple action of trying to close the distance between the two of you, paired with his now sultry-tone, caused you to gulp quite noticeably.

“i uhhh, this is—s-sorry i can’t form my words today.” you covered your mouth as you laughed, embarrassed by the effect jaehyun had on your intelligibility.

if only you noticed his faint smile. 

“would it be better if i asked you something different?” he spoke with a tilt of his head, bangs sweeping softly across his eyelashes.

“no its not that…i’m just not super interesting.” you pursed your lips together, shameless in admitting how average you were. 

“i highly doubt that. for you to come here, i know that you’re more interesting than you let on.”

he smirked to himself, dimples even more pronounced as he looked down at your feet.

“so what do you like…don’t like? or what are you willing to try today?” 

he looked back up at you, but the ability to maintain eye contact with him was becoming harder and harder.

but for you to have come this far, sitting almost-nude in front of a stranger…there was no use in being shy anymore.

“i’ve just always wanted to be controlled, dominated, humiliated…reduced to nothing, pretty much.” you spoke matter-of-factly, knowing he’s probably heard this all before. 

you decided to keep your eyes on his mouth, and then his sharp canine’s that gleamed under the warm sepia light as he licked his lips. 

“what about degrading?”

“definitely.”

“shibari?”

“yes.”

he continued to list everything that came to mind, making it somewhat easier for you to communicate your needs and expectations.

by now, barely 7-minutes in, jaehyun learned that you were practically open to anything. 

“one last thing. the most important.”

you raised your eyebrows at his sudden announcement, already having an idea of what it could be.

“what’s your safeword?”

“olive.”

                           —☽༓☾—

“alright, we’ll go ahead and get started. if you at any time need to take a break, just let us know. remember, there is no time limit, and most of all, enjoy yourselves.” one of the producers said while adjusting his camera.

now in the auditorium with you and jaehyun, were two different producers, with the names I and N; an obvious attempt to mirror their company, which definitely made it easier to recall. K was nowhere to be found this time. but you weren’t concerned about that anymore. 

the entire auditorium was now your’s, filled with all the props to make your fantasies come true. the chairs were pushed away, and the camera’s were now rolling.

jaehyun stood face-to-face, still in only his boxer briefs. he studied the floor beneath you, seeming to psych himself up with a smirk. 

you didn’t even really know how to stand, or carry yourself, fearing that too much focus on the lesser details would ruin your adrenaline. 

just as you watched his head rise to your level, you were swept away by a kiss.

he was as spirited as you hoped, using his left hand to hold onto your cheek, and the other to rest against your hip. still through the shock of how soft his lips were, you managed to taste the balm that he chose to wear—peach with a hint of vanilla. 

you raised your hand to wrap around the wrist that kept hold of your cheek, eventually closing more of the gap between the two of you. 

despite how delicate the kisses were at first, you could hear them echo throughout the auditorium, surely to get louder once you could taste more of him.

you tried your best to keep up with the different angles that his head moved, but thinking back to the fact that these were among the first kisses you shared, you could bear the inconsistencies until you found a proper rhythm. 

so far, he did everything right. starting off slow just how you liked it… just how you told him just a few minutes prior. 

his left hand caressed your cheek back and forth, brushing against the small hairs in front of your ear. the other made its way down to your ass, gripping tightly, but not without your breath hitching through the fiery embrace.

he took the opportunity like you had guessed, to brush his tongue against your own, finally gaining more out of the subtle start towards your undoing. 

you had only known him for roughly half an hour, yet you already felt in tune with his way of leading you to pure bliss. 

he intertwined with you effortlessly, regardless of the mess the two of you made with just your lips. combined saliva pooled at the corners of your mouth, and you found yourself whimpering at his attempts to clean up the remnants with his warm tongue.

“you’re making a mess already?”

he spoke against the corner of your mouth, the smell of vanilla becoming even more evident from his suckled lips. 

you didn’t want to give in so soon to his early teasing. he needed to do more.

though you realized within a flutter of your hooded eyes, that he needed just as much as you. without any warning, he flipped his warm persona, the hand that held your cheek moving down to grip your throat tight. 

his fingertips knew exactly where to apply pressure, causing you to wince as the sting resonated on both sides of your neck. your hands immediately wrapped around his, knowing he liked to see you struggle.

you had made a point of that too. 

“you won’t say anything? what about when i do this?” his face remained mere centimeters away from you, denying you of any further kisses. 

you could see through the haze that his dimples were still just as evident from his now-sinister smile. 

his right hand cupped your clothed core, causing you to shudder against his palm. 

he would definitely be able to feel your growing arousal through the thin material. 

“maybe you don’t deserve any of this…i should just leave you here.”

he backed up his shaming effortlessly, all the while palming you through your damp underwear. 

the friction felt electric against your clit, causing you to buck against his touch.

“ride my fucking hand.” he smirked right in front of your face, like a complete switch from the gentleman you just met.

you were sure that you looked pathetic, getting off to just the palm of his hand. practically humping to get some sort of release. 

being self-conscious no longer mattered, not when he provided you with a means to an end. proving not only to yourself, but to future viewers that you were outwardly desperate.

the more zealous you got with your gyrating hips, the more jaehyun was inclined to stop and just watch you yearn for it.

he decided immediately, stilling his movements. 

for the first time, you whined.

“please let m-me cum.” your voice barely produced any sound, restricted from his hold on your throat. 

“should i?” 

“mmh, yes. please…” 

you hoped that your look of pity was convincing enough. 

“go on and show me then. show me that you deserve it.” 

he gave you free reign, lessening the hold on your throat, and continuing to keep his palm still against your aching core.

you were practically salivating, trying your hardest to hit a certain spot along your sensitive nub. with a few more hellish rolls of your hips, you succeeded, feeling that familiar high surge through your body. 

jaehyun was beyond satisfied, enjoying how you broke down from barely nothing. his eyes drifted over every part of your trembling body, mentally noting the parts that would be destroyed by the time he was done with you.

as you started to come down, he had already tugged your underwear off, even taking a moment to smell the now-ruined fabric. he could’ve spent longer doing so, showing off his guise for as long as he wanted.

but you were fidgeting quite noticeably, shifting your thighs to subdue the constant throbbing of your clit. it was obvious there was more to come.

once he tossed the flimsy fabric to the side, he ushered you towards the far left of the room where two red velvet sofas were positioned against the wall, and a small antique dresser sat in between. 

you could barely keep up with his stride as he interlocked your hands together. but you let him control your movements, until you were centered in the middle of the makeshift formal room.  

on top of the dresser were bundles of rope, a ball gag and a vibrating wand, with images of all the ways you would be ruined flooding your brain. your eyes then drifted up towards the ceiling, immediately catching sight of the metal ring hanging just above you.

the cameras were paused momentarily; had the recording continued, the producers would’ve captured your look of wonder as you watched jaehyun gather the jute material onto his arm to begin the process. 

you’d only had a few experiences with bondage, but all of the preparation seemed to come naturally as you followed jaehyun’s instructions. he was patient and soft-spoken with his directions, all the while marveling at how pretty you looked while listening to him. 

it was evident he was experienced in the art of shibari, as he adjusted the intricate designs to fit the contour of your body within minutes. your eyes were conflicted on where to look, whether it was his concentration or the way the rope cupped your breasts perfectly. either way, you felt beautiful. 

“take deep breaths for me, you’re doing great.” 

his sultry tone was enough to relax you as you felt gravity disappear under your feet.

your eyes remained shut as you inhaled and exhaled, gradually soaking in the feeling of complete ascension. 

you were in the most exposed position—frogtied. suspended upwards, arms secured behind your back, knees bent, and ankles bound to your thighs. 

even though it took a while to get into this arrangement, he made you feel comfortable, and you were still just as wet, eagerly awaiting his next move.

“how do you feel? talk to me.” he stood in front of your suspended body, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. there was anything but, you surprisingly felt purified, as if a literal weight had been lifted. 

“i feel good.” 

you weren’t the best at exclaiming your feelings, but you could tell that jaehyun sensed your approval.

“anything pinching or pulling?” he asked again, leaning in close to inspect the knots littered across your body. 

“nope.” 

“okay good. just wanted to check before i put this on.” he replied while giving the “ok” hand signal for the producers to resume rolling. 

he stepped over to the dresser, grabbing the black leathered ball gag. your pussy involuntarily clenched around air at the sight of the large red ball, and the realization that you were now being filmed in suspension, every bit of your cunt on display for the world to see.

you licked your lips one last time before he placed the gag. the taste of plastic overtook your senses, unfortunately masking the remnants of his lips balm. nonetheless, you felt complete, relishing in your own fantasy being brought to life.

saliva managed to escape not even seconds later, dribbling onto your chin. jaehyun eyes grew dark, switching back to the sadist he truly was.

your eyes tracked his every move, watching as he finally exposed himself.

you wished you were well-spoken enough to describe how perfect he was. but you could only manage whimpers through your restraints, hoping that he heard your reaction to seeing his lower half for the first and probably only time.

you were finally able to see where his happy trail ended, branched out into a sea of nicely trimmed hair. his length stood proud, snapping back onto his outie bellybutton as he kicked his briefs off to the side.

he stepped over to the dresser one last time, grabbing the vibrating wand. you were expecting the sound of the device to come to life, even squinting your eyes to brace for the feeling of it hitting your clit. but instead he kept it down by his left side, while his right finger came up to collect the saliva that had now leaked down your neck. 

“not yet…you’ll have to prove that you’re worth my time. i don’t reward sluts that whine in my face.” his words hit you hard, but his finger worked even harder.

your body began to shake as he used his slicked forefinger to paint a trail down the center of your chest. he eventually found your nipple that had swelled through the coarse rope, pinching hard.

he released quickly, doing the same to the other. 

his right finger continued its descent, now finding your cunt that was glistening under the warm lighting. he seemed satisfied enough from the sight of your juices dripping onto the floor meters below you. 

your breathing grew ragged as you felt him group his digits together to press against your sensitive nub. he leaned further into you, preventing you from seeing him work your pussy into overdrive.

the filthy sounds of your essence sloshing against the flesh of his fingers filled the room, even overpowering the pathetic moans that tried to escape through the soaked ball gag.

“think you could cum again? hmm?” 

he cooed against your ear, determined to kick all of your senses over the edge.

you failed miserably at producing a coherent “yes” through the pleasure, and you feared this would have consequences.

the high was building up a second time, but unfortunately it was met with jaehyun’s cruelty.

he backed away from you completely, leaving you there to wiggle in the ropes that kept you hungry and docile.

“yes…i can do it.” you words were muffled at best, barely audible. but your body showed enough of your desperation, trying to move within the confines of your unrelenting submission. 

“fucking filthy whore…you’re too late.” 

jaehyun tortured you by staying back, twirling the vibrating wand in his hands. 

regardless of the fact you were granted an orgasm moments ago, you made it known that you deserved another.  

tears began to pool in your eyes, eventually flowing from your eyelids onto your warm cheeks. breathing seemed more difficult, as you sniffled and heaved against the ball gag.

jaehyun looked down at the floor, in awe at the amount of your juices that had hit the floor. you were more than soaked, practically painting the floor in an abstract design of delicious filth. usually he was able to drag out teasing for a while with his other “co-stars” but for you, his patience was wearing thin; not out of distaste, but out of the eagerness to finally feel your walls around his cock. he would have to fuck you soon, so he could see if you felt just as good as you looked.

he had done plenty of scenes, even similar to this; more than he could count. and none short of bragging, he ruined every single one of them, and you were no exception. 

without a second thought, jaehyun stepped up to you, placing the vibrator on your engorged clit. a shriek escaped through the gag as you slumped in the ropes, head falling backwards as a wave of relief hit you. 

finally, you were given more.

through your hooded eyes, you were unable to see his erect tip awaiting your entrance. 

“are you happy now? what do you say?” he gripped your jaw hard, forcing your head forward to stare into his dark eyes. 

“thank you s-so much…thank-...”

your gratitude was cut short as he pushed himself inside you. 

a guttural groan fell from his glossy lips as he paused halfway, utterly amazed by the way your walls welcomed his cock, trying his best to draw out the way you sucked him in. 

he could’ve stayed like this forever, relishing in your ability to grip him for dear life. 

“you’re so fucking tight…did you save this pussy for me?” his voice was just as shaky as yours, completely high off the energy that filled the room.

you nodded your head up and down, mind too absorbed in the pleasure that overtook your body.  

your eyes blew wide as he continued to inch himself further inside your dripping hole; beyond satisfied from being stretched full. 

you watched his jaw go slack as he bottomed out, pupils dilating not only in front of you, but the cameras too. 

the realization that everyone would witness his transformation, caused you to contract around his length; the vibrator intensifying your actions as if you no longer had control. 

he wasted no time thrusting inside you, hips snapping against yours in an immediate, steady rhythm. your body recoiled against his tireless momentum, eventually swinging from the metal ring every time he connected his tip to your cervix. 

“do you think you could hold out sweetheart?” 

you were sure that you could, but you couldn’t help but entertain the idea that it was much deeper than that. 

nonetheless, you mumbled “yes”, hoping to prove your worth so that he would never stop fucking you senseless. 

yet again, your head fell back, pitiful howls escaping through the gag as you felt your orgasm building up a second time. 

“come on, look at me. watch me fuck this pussy.” he used his non occupied hand to usher your head forward, watching you choke up as many moans as you could through the soiled gag. 

he continued to support your head, and it became obvious that it was done for a reason. the sound of the double-doors caught your attention soon after, echoing through the auditorium. your eyes looked past jaehyun’s broad shoulders to catch sight of the four attractive figures that appeared. 

their presence would be burned inside your mind forever—an aura of complete deviance, walking towards your suspended frame with an obvious intent to ravage you beyond repair. 

your eyes couldn’t look away, not even with jaehyun still drilling inside your pussy. 

you noted the two tallest, one with wavy silver hair, and bangs long enough to cover his dark eyes. he had the most  chiseled features out of the four, with full lips to complement his sharp jawline. the other didn’t look nearly as intimidating as the first, with rounded facial features despite having a broader frame. he adorned blue eyes, which you assumed to be contacts. either way, the sky blue color fit his chocolate hair, setting him apart from his yang counterpart.

the third reminded you of a sunset, with golden skin that radiated far beyond his charming presence. his jet black hair offered contrast to his warm exterior. 

the final one—the blonde, surprised you the most, he didn’t seem like the type to present himself in this type of environment, but maybe that was his ruse—to deceive anyone into thinking he wasn’t as filthy as the next. he made sure to be the last one following behind in the ensemble, but you still noted his elfen-like appearance, seeming delicate yet playful. 

they were all just as flawless as jaehyun. 

you would have to refer to them by their features, as there was no indication of their names. truthfully, the idea that you may never know, made this all the more fulfilling. letting four strangers do whatever they wanted to you, was the pinnacle of desire. 

the silver-haired boy made sure to greet you first, standing next to your right side. though you weren’t sure if gripping your chest through the rope was a proper greeting, it still caused you to whimper from his robust touch. he squeezed your nipples harder than jaehyun, watching you crumble from his assault. 

“another slut for me to fuck with hmm? you better hope you make this worth my while.” he snarled against your ear, taking the time to tug your earlobe between his teeth. the kisses that followed were messier than the brunette that stood to your left. you made sure to make eye contact with him and acknowledge his existence despite his silver-haired fiend stealing the show with his unhinged words. the blue-eyed boy had a smug grin on his face, caressing your cheek with no care in the world that your saliva had covered his fingers. 

he began to pecker along your collarbone, keeping his eyes locked onto your own, tongue swiping upwards to taste the sweat that had formed on your flushed skin. 

“i bet she’s been good so far?” the brunette’s voice caught you off guard, completely teasing, even mocking your predicament. you saw him look forward at jaehyun, then down at the vibrator that was still pressed against your clit.

you hoped to god that he would grab and use it on you. that any of them would use it on you.

“hell yeah she’s been good. taking my cock like a good little slut.” jaehyun licked along his upper lip, baring his canine’s again. 

“here...i know she’s close.”

jaehyun offered the vibrator to the brunette, the sensation temporarily leaving your core. you whined in dissatisfaction, hoping it wouldn’t be off you for too long. 

“you’re so pretty…” 

the blonde haired boy soothed your worries, coming up beside the brunette. his hands were noticeably smaller than the rest, but still just as skillful. he took his slender fingers and began to rub your abused clit in circles. the pads of his fingers were a few degrees colder, but it soon warmed up after making contact with your heated skin. 

you jumped, as best as you could, when he increased the pace, and began swiping his entire hand across your wet mound. the sounds of your juices splashing past his digits bounced off of the walls of the auditorium. 

he truly proved your point of his devious nature. 

the golden boy rushed to jaehyun’s left side, getting a clear view of the mess you kept making. his hands trailed down to palm himself through his black denim jeans. even through your tears, you watched him bite his lip, hard enough to make the skin underneath go pale.

you were so close. 

“pl…please. i’m cl…” you thought your words had drifted off into the void, overpowered by the multitude of bodies in the room, but they didn’t go unnoticed. 

“awwh, she’s gonna cum. so wet, so pretty…” the fairy teased, taking the time to lower his mouth to your knee, making sure that he had made at least one mark on your skin by the time the evening was over.

the familiar band from within your core snapped. a wave of pleasure surged from your core all the way up to where the silver-haired boy had gripped your throat. moans managed to escape through the hold he had on your neck, stinging against his palms as he squeezed harder and harder.

the sea of white that flashed across your vision had turned red when the fairy’s hand left you and the vibrator took his place. the brunette’s smile grew wide when he witnessed first-hand what overstimulation looked like, and for him to be the one to blame, made an obvious power trip show across his cheshire grin. 

you were completely ruined. it was evident by the way you began to convulse, the way you cried out, the way your walls continued to contract around jaehyun’s cock. 

“fuckkk, just like that. you're sucking me in so hard. keep doing that sweetheart…”

jaehyun chanted out, an indication that he was close to exploding inside of you.

“take that ball gag off, i wanna hear her scream…” the golden boy directed the fairy to do his bidding, not wanting to pause on his own self-gratification. he had already freed his cock from his boxers, nowhere near patient enough to pull his pants the rest of the way down. 

you weren’t still enough for the blonde as he tried freeing the clasp behind your head. eventually with the help of his silver-haired friend, you were finally able to voice your sounds of another orgasm. 

“i’m gonna cum again!!” you screamed out, making the rest of them smirk with pride.

“are you even gonna say thank you? ungrateful whore…” the same one that had been giving you the most hell, spat against your ear. his words made it all the more damning; you enjoyed how he tested your mental stability. 

“thank you! thank you so much!” 

you were sure that you looked broken, slumped from the actions of these four strangers and of course, jaehyun, who was just as close.

his thrusts were beginning to show cracks, losing the rhythm he had held onto for so long. the two of you stared at each other, in your own world as you both came. 

with one final snap of his hips, he let out a moan, pumping you full of his seed with every inhale and exhale. 

your voice gave out, vocal chords spent from all of the prior screams you produced during your time of luxury.

your mouth hung open as you felt him fill your walls to the brim, creating a salacious mixture that bubbled inside your painted walls.  

even though the vibrator had stopped, a phantom sensation caused you to tremble against the now-still wand. 

all that remained was the comedown. and you weren’t sure you wanted it to end.

jaehyun remained inside you, drawing out the aftermath of your back-to-back orgasm. a thin sheet of sweat decorated his chest, illuminating under the tan lights.

your breathing had finally calmed down, and by the time you tried to get a good look at everyone, they were already huddled around jaehyun, waiting to see the creampie. 

their eyes followed jaehyun’s every move, watching as he exited you with a single plop.

“i’m first.” the silver-haired boy spoke quickly, immediately lowering himself to be level with your weeping hole. 

it was obvious that this wasn’t over. and you were more than okay with that.

_

//tagging: @pradajaehyun @glitchfiles @stargrll13 @the-universe-in-you-jjh

[mazzystar24]

idk who else to go to with this but i have so many people sending me hate because i don’t like bucktommy when i literally never even post about them????? they keep calling me toxic and a hater and i’m not i just have shipped buddie for years and i don’t vibe with tommy…. it makes me sad because this fandom used to bond over buddie so much but now i just see angry tommy fans (and admittedly some buddie fans but nowhere near as many) spreading so much hatred and rudeness while turning around and calling buddie fans toxic when we just want to ship our 6 year long standing ship… and like i said i genuinely never post about bucktommy, and if i do say something about them that can be perceived as negative then i always tag it “anti-bucktommy” and i NEVER tag it bucktommy so that they don’t have to even see it! It hurts to open up the app not knowing if i’m going to have another person calling me homophobic or a fetishizer (i’m literally queer) or calling me a toxic bitch when i literally don’t do anything but post happy buddie content 9/10 posts! and like i said i know i’ve seen some buddie accounts go to extremes and i’m not defending that, but i’ve seen people who will call out even the slightest apprehension to bucktommy as if they stepped on someone’s grave, while simultaneously bullying and harassing buddie shippers for minding their own business… like i can’t even go into the buddie tag and it’s people attacking us left and right while the bucktommy tag is nothing but everyone gushing over them… i hate that we can’t enjoy a 6 year old ship anymore because half the fandom decided to jump to this other one that has barely gotten any screentime between two characters that don’t really have chemistry with each other and they want to berate us for it and call us names. I’m not a fetishizer and I’m not toxic, I’m just a late 20s queer girl who wants to talk about buddie without a barrage of hate and insults thrown at me but I can’t do that anymore… 9-1-1/buddie used to be my safe place but now i can’t even come on tumblr because i’m worried a stan will be lurking in my asks/replies waiting to tell me how awful i am.

i’m sorry to dump all of that on you but i just opened a really nasty ask and it hurt a lot to read what they said about me and you were the first person on my dash

Hey anon!

Okay so I can already guess I’ll be late posting this cos i think I’ll be replying to this in increments throughout my day today, and also I can tell this is really bothering you so I don’t wanna just give like a short rushed answer - oh wow I actually wrote this in one sitting cos I can’t shut up once I start

Yes the fandom has been a downright mess lately and it’s like I always say, people if you wanna engage in discourse that’s your prerogative and no one is faulting you for that but it’s the utter lack of fandom etiquette these toxic fans have that’s the real issue and I also feel like as you said a huge issue is this kind of imaginary high horse they seem to have

Like I totally agree that there is like this section of toxic bucktommy fans who try to warp not liking bucktommy into being biphobic- which look if people are actually being biphobic by all means call them out but when you’re going to actual queer people who posted 166283894 posts celebrating bi buck, only to attack them for not liking the ship?? Then that’s just plain stupid I’m sorry, like being happy to have the queer rep and not liking bucktommy isn’t mutually exclusive and it’s ridiculous people are trying to make it out to be

Like I’ve personally been sent an ask like that where they implied that I was biphobic for not being a big fan of bucktommy and that “I don’t know how exhausting it is for bi people” - which I gotta say made me go what about my blog would ever make someone think ah yes straight 🤩

And thing is at the time they sent that my most note filled post was my celebration reaction meme extravaganza to getting bi buck which I feel added some fun irony to the whole thing

And calling people shipping two MEN (buddie) homophobic takes a special kind of cognitive dissonance that I gotta say I’d almost be impressed with the leaps in logic if it wasn’t so annoying

Now I personally don’t know what state the bucktommy tag is in cos I mostly stick to the 911 abc and the buddie tag but I know how the buddie tag has been and I agree the misuse of tags to make a negative space is absolutely ridiculous and again that all goes back to the etiquette part

And the fetishising thing is also just another thing that absolutely grates my nerves, because these toxic fans really need a dictionary thrown at their heads because buddie is like the polar opposite of that.

First of all a large section of buddie shippers im aware have asexual Eddie headcanons and that aside let’s say we want gay Eddie and buddie and all those things, let’s even say we want them to fuck nasty *gasp🫢* and sloppy and write 156273 smut fics where they plain fuck like rabbits (*nun faints in the background* also probably some pearl clutching occurred upon reading this),

THAT’S NOT THE POINT HERE- the point is the main appeal of buddie as a ship isn’t that ooo look two hot guys kissing; it’s the history it’s the friendship, it’s the vulnerability, it’s the will scene, the shooting, the trust, the parallels, the understanding of each other, it’s the domesticity and it’s all these moments that have nothing to do with sex or objectifying their dynamic or mlm relationships but rather shipping them because they are two people with this amazing connection and these experiences

and THAT? That’s the furthest thing from fetishisation

Now I could be controversial and talk about how SOME and some is the operative word of this sentence- SOME toxic bucktommy fans have been blatant in not really caring about the story or the characters or buck and Tommy as individuals or the team dynamic or anything other than seeing these two men kiss, these being a lot of the same fans who refuse to watch the show other than the bucktommy and Tommy scenes and then will act like they somehow understand the show more than fans who’ve been here years or seen the whole show BUT I digress because I know that saying this is me basically asking for spam hate (so shhhh let’s pretend I didn’t say that 🤫)

who said that? 👀not me👀damn that’s crazy a ghost just ran across my keyboard 🙄

Anyways back to you specifically, because I really do think it bares mentioning, if you’ve been respectful to others then that’s all you can do and thank you on the behalf of everyone cos it really makes a difference, and I wanna say sorry on the behalf of every asshole who’s deciding to attack you for ridiculous reasons, the best advice I can give you is to genuinely not let it get to you I know it’s easier said than done but you know who you are and you know your intentions and some dumbass sitting behind a screen who can’t even properly comprehend what biphobia or fetishisation actually is (or worse DOES know what it is but is just using it as a way to put others down over a tv show to have an imaginary high ground) isn’t worth your time or your distress and they cannot change who you are

This part might be over explaining the obvious but in case you don’t know/ are new to tumblr or whatever: If you wanna continue to have fandom spaces as a safe place filtering should get rid of a lot of the posts and so should blocking but ofc you’ll see a few so just skip past and enjoy the content you like, if you wanna make posts and are scared of asks from toxic shippers maybe you can turn off your asks temporarily until you feel like you’re in a better place mentally to deal with it

Oooo or an idea that might work is you can ask your followers and mutuals (who are the ones most likely to be sending the nice asks) to use an emoji at the start of their asks to indicate to you that this is an ask you’ll like then you can delete any ask without that emoji without even having to look at the hate if it’s causing you that anxiety - if that makes sense?

I hope my reply somehow made you feel better and I really hope that you can have your fandom space and enjoyment back 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[flimflamfandom]

Washboard Blues, and other Vignettes

Vignettes (I guess they call them Imagines these days?) I wrote in the Lackadaisy Discord, plus one that’s original on here.

There are 4 on offer: -You’ll Thank Me When You Grow Old (Discord) -If Only She Knew (Discord) -Washboard Blues (Discord) -You’re Gonna Look Fine (new for this post)

I also allude to an original character from @ladybugkisses ! I don’t really include her, it’s mostly about Rocky, but she’s there so I’m tagging it and mentioning Ari. Give her a follow if you haven’t already!

You’ll Thank Me When You Grow Old

Rows of sunlight snuck through the blinds in the dorm. It was cold - drafty, and wet outside, with typical dorm room quality insulation (that is to say - bad insulation) made for a rather frigid experience. 

Still, Helen was wrapped up in the covers, Olivia was in a thick bath robe - And Ivy was nowhere to be seen. That is, until the door crept open, revealing a rather bleary eyed Ivy, still in clothes from the night before - party clothes, with a hastily thrown on tweed jacket. 

Olivia peered up from her glasses while reading, like a disappointed mother. "You're home early." She said, a snide lilt in her voice. 

"I...stayed at a friend's place." 

"Sure you did." Olivia stood. "And I bet you sat there and played dominos all night, too?" Olivia walked over to her bed, and got a few things from the shelf nearby. 

"Olivia, what does it matter if-" 

"It matters that you're out so late! I was worried sick!" 

"Freckle is nothing to worry about, he's a good man!" "He works at that no good, low down Daisy-whatever. I bet he'll die in some awful shoot out anyhow." 

"Olivia!" Ivy gasped, as she removed the jacket, and her evening sleeves, "How dare you say something like that!" 

"It's true! What's next? He gets you tied up in it?" 

"...well..." 

"...IVY. MICHELLE. PEPPER." Olivia seemed mortified. "You're NOT gonna keep doing that! You'll get killed!" 

"What does it matter to you!?" 

"We're your FRIENDS, Ivy! Don't we mean ANYthing to you?" Olivia fought on a sweater, and got her shoes on. "...I'm going to class. I don't want to hear about...mobsters or whatever." Olivia put her hands on Ivy's shoulders. 

"You'll thank me when you grow old." 

Olivia walked out the door. Ivy stood there. She sniffled. Helen rubbed sleep from her eyes. 

"...oh, morning Ivy," She yawned, "Did you...see Oli? She wanted to talk to you." 

"...how did you sleep through that?" 

"Sleep through what?" 

"Nevermind.”

-

If Only She Knew

Calvin sat there as the record player warbled. Something about a washboard. He sat, nervously, in Mitzi May's office. Ivy was there, too. The two seemed to be in fairly hot water. Calvin and Ivy'd been caught by Mitzi in the broom closet as it were. Ivy, still in her green dress, looked up at Freckle. 

"Think you'll have to stop working for the Daisy?" 

"Maybe." 

"Well. Always the Marigold." She said. 

"Not in my life." He said. "If I'm forced into retirement I'm going-" 

The door opened. Ivy gripped Clavin's hand. Mitzi stormed in. "I must admit, I'm awfully cross you two chose to do this on the clock." 

"Mitzi, with all due respect, Calvin's hands were hardly near my-" 

"It's not about that!" Mitzi said. "I do NOT want to hear the details! What's important is that you should NOT be doing that at work!" 

"I'm NOT on the job!" Ivy remarked. "It's my night off!" 

"Calvin is very much on the job." Mitzi replied. 

Calvin looked down. "...I, eh...I was...staking someone out." 

"...why didn't you say something!" 

"I tried, but you kept kissing me before I could say words!" 

"I do have a nasty habit of that." Ivy said. 

"I like that nasty habit." Freckle went a bit red, and drooped his ears. 

"Aww, Calvi-" 

"Excuse me." Mitzi said, sternly. "...I'm not gonna make you two stop seein' each other, that'd be too much. But Ivy, you ask me if Calvin's workin' next time." 

"...fine." 

"And you, Mr. McMurray." Mitzi said. "What are your intentions for my daughter?" 

"...beg...pardon?"

 "Your intentions." 

"...for your daughter?" 

"No, I haven't got a daughter." 

Ivy blinked. "...you said daughter." 

Mitzi's ears stood up. "...I said Ivy." 

"You called me your daughter!" Ivy gasped. "Does that mean-" She smiled brightly, "You love me like a mom!?" 

"Ivy, please, I-"

 "Does THAT mean I'm Ivy may? I like that! I like Ivy Mcmurray more, though~" She cooed. 

"Ivy, I-" 

"You two GET OUT!" Mitzi nearly chased them out with a stick. She sighed. 

"...that girl..." 

If only she knew.

-

Washboard Blues

Glitz. Glamor. Fame. Fortune. All these things came with running the newly successful Daisy. The dresses, the drinks, the fine friends, the gorgeous parties. 

And Mitzi was stuck washing clothes, before such a party, because Wick was 'indisposed'. 

"...You've got 3 maids and a secretary." She grumbled as she scrubbed. "And none of 'em could come to help with things?" She hung something else out. She huffed, and let out a sigh. "I ain't some dainty little housewife, Wick," she spoke, to no one in particular, "if you're not even gonna marry me why make me wash the clothes?" She sighed. "Atlas never made me do that." She grumbled. "I bet ZIB wouldn't! She yelped. "I bet he'd LOVE to wash the clothes from time to time! Closest he gets to a goddamn bath." She sighed. 

"...no, no." She shook her head. "Wick's...injured." She rolled her eyes. "Here I go again, cursing the sick and needy." She got back to scrubbing. She hummed to herself, and sang. 

"Mornin' comes with cloudy skies and rain...my poor back am broke with pain....My man's sleepin', I just scrubbin', chillin', weepin', I do rubbin' age a-creepin', clothes a-tubbin', all day long..." 

She sighed, alone in the back yard, stretching her back and grunting. Her joints cracked. And then... 

"...You know, Zib," She looked over to him, "You really don't have to play that on sax." She said. 

"How am I not gonna play Hoagy Carmichael?" He walked over, and put his instrument down, carefully. 

"What're you even doing here?" 

"Band's entertaining here tonight...I see you've got a bit of the washboard blues, huh?" 

"He's got a bad back, his maids are all sick, and Lacy is already on cooking duty..." She shook her head. 

"Just bad luck on his part." 

"Hmm." Zib shrugged. "You're right, you know." 

"Hm?" 

Zib cupped her chin. "I wouldn't make you wash nothin'." 

"...su...stop." She batted at him, playfully. She smirked. "You're too much." 

"If you say so."

-

You’re Gonna Look Fine

“...Rocky?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve been looking in the mirror for something like 30 minutes.” Mitzi said, crossing her arms. “What’s got into you? You got a court date or somethin’?”

“Not a court date,” Rocky said, “A REAL date!”

“With who?”

“Ari!” “...it doesn’t ring a bell.”

“You wouldn’t know her, anyhow.” Rocky said, dismissively. “She’s beautiful! She’s got this fiery red fur, and white tailtip, like a...fox or something! How wonderful she is, how delightful, how-”

“Rocky,” Mitzi shook her head, “I understand you got a date goin’ but frankly there’s an awful lot of work to do and I don’t want you mussin’ that suit beforehand. I-...where are you even goin’ at this time’a day that requires that sorta dress?”

“Why, only the finest establishment in town!”

“...”

“HERE!” Rocky said. “For pancakes.” He suavely straightened his tie.

“...for pancakes?”

“She never had ‘em.”

“Rocky-” Mitzi pinched the bridge of her nose. “I do hope she likes you, because I can’t imagine a lotta other women doing so.”

“Do I look okay?”

“You’re gonna look fine.” Mitzi said. “Maybe a little over dressed for a breakfast...you look like you’re on your way to your wedding!”

Rocky sighed dreamily. “I suuuuure aaaaam...”

Mitzi chuckled a bit, and batted his arm. “You really are perplexing.”

“Is that her in the window?”

Standing there was a girl, with...fiery red fur, and a white tailtip. She looked reluctant to enter. Mitzi looked over. “Well, Rocky, you know how to pick ‘em, I’ll give y’that.”

“What if she thinks WE’RE talking though?”

“...despite my better efforts I look like I could be your mother, Rocky. Go ahead, open the door for her!”

“Alright...wish me luck, Miss May, ol’ boss ol’ pal o’mine!”

“Mhm.” Mitzi walked up to the office, and sat in her desk.

“...if THIS doesn’t work out for him, nothin’ will.”

[sleepykamukura]

Omg hihi! I saw that you followed me back, and I love McAshe/Cashe. that's the reason I followed you. Ashe is one of my favorite Overwatch characters. I know their lore, but I need to read deadlock rebels. I'd love to know your headcanons, though. As an artist, maybe I can draw them. I'm working on a Cashe comic as well.

YES i would love to talk about my headcanons!!!!!

i've discussed in detail before although it's probably buried in my tags but i'll summarize!!!

more below the cut (there's a lot)

ASHE

raised catholic (i like to think this because of her mardi gras skin), now atheist

of spanish, french, & scottish descent

bisexual !!! SHES BISEXUAL!!!!!!! look at her

horrible horrible cook. in fact she's banned from the kitchen. BOB and cass are the cooks

you said you havent read dlr but there's a character named frankie that i like to ship her with as well (i call them lavenderrose) ((also i like bars & ashe together if you've read luck of the draw. they're cute))

i do hc her to have borderline personality disorder (maybe im projecting a bit)

she's born & raised in arizona dont let the texas ashe truthers get to you. if you follow the landscaping that's briefly mentioned in dlr it makes 0 sense for her hometown to be in texas

CASS

raised baptist (LIKE ME!!!), now agnostic

irish, mexican, & indigenous american descent

he's also bisexual!!!!!!!

he's a better cook than ashe but nowhere near as good as BOB. specializes in comfort foods

another character in dlr, julian, is his crazy ex Ok. Hear me out. HEAR ME OUT!!!!

he also has bpd & autism !!!!!

i like to believe he's born & raised flopping between new mexico & texas. his backstory is very mysterious but i like to believe his parents were killed either due to the omnic crisis or at the same time for unrelated reasons

SHIPPING!!!

i made a post about this before but in their deadlock skins they both have a bandana -- (ashe has hers wrapped around her knee, cass has his on his arm) -- i like to believe this is a callback & honor to each other from a scene in deadlock rebels where cassidy is shot in the leg & ashe is shot in the arm during a fight & i like to think they both have scars there

cassidy got his tattoo first because ashe was afraid of the gun. originally she got just the skull & print then added the roses & thorns a few years after they split

before cassidy was publicly part of overwatch i like to think ashe & frankie tried to keep tabs on him but couldn't due to overwatch's high security. they only found out what happened to him after him being an agent was publicized

as above, i don't think they actually got much of a chance to say goodbye. blackwatch was a very undercover org. so ashe most likely has no clue why he left, she's especially not aware of the fact that he left to keep the rest of the gang from rotting in a prison along with him.

they got hitched the second they legally could and are still technically legally married

[homerjacksons]

First and Last Lines

rules: post the first and last lines of the last 10 fics you posted.

I was tagged by @gavotteangel !! Thank you!! I've also 100% decided the drabble collection counts as one fic because otherwise this entire thing will just be made up of Jackson/Reid drabbles and while I AM obsessed with them atm, this way feels more fun.

way too fast and way too slow (Ripper Street - Jackson/Reid)

Jackson stopped on the top step of the station, so suddenly that Reid almost walked right into his back.

“Happy new year, Edmund.”

the feeling of audible cracks (Ripper Street - Jackson/Reid)

Thump.

“I promise.”

call me friend but keep me closer (Ripper Street - Jackson/Reid)

The sound was loud, sharp, piercing. Unmistakable. Jackson felt his heart drop to his stomach before his brain had even fully registered what was going on. He turned to the source of the sound just in time to watch Reid go down, head hitting the pavement hard as he landed with a near-sickening crack that made Jackson’s stomach lurch.

“Alright,” Jackson said with a sigh, reaching out to smooth Reid’s hair back from his forehead. “I ain’t going nowhere.”

open me up (Ripper Street - Jackson/Reid)

Reid let his hand come to rest on the edge of the stage, watching as the last girl left the room. He glanced at Jackson whose position mirrored his, yet looked so much more relaxed, so much more effortless, and sighed.

And Reid watched him go, skin still tingling with the ghost of his touch.

hush (Law and Order SVU - Kat/Amanda)

“You okay?”

The urge to tease Amanda for her known temper, for the way she froze people out when she was hurting was strong, but Kat was too sleepy, too cosy to be bothered, so she just hummed contentedly as she tucked Amanda against her side and let sleep finally take her.

sometimes (Law and Order SVU - Stabler/Carisi)

Sonny shifted his weight from foot to foot, flexing his hand at the sting in his knuckles from knocking too urgently on the door in front of him. His heart pounded just a little too hard, a little too fast. He told himself it was due to the uncertainty of being here, unsure of his place, unsure of his welcome, and maybe that was part of it, but a bigger part of it was his need to see that the man on the other side was okay.

“Yeah, Stabler,” he said, voice a little huskier than usual. “I am.”

Carry Me Home (Law and Order SVU - Benson/Carisi)

It shouldn’t really have come as a surprise at all that he snapped. He’d been feeling it buzzing under his skin for days now, threatening to break free at every interaction, anytime someone even so much as looked at him, really. He was frustrated— beyond frustrated—but it was born from exhaustion more than anything else.

Here, warm and comfortable and content, the nightmare of the past month of work felt miles away, and he let his eyes drift closed knowing in his heart that it would all be okay.

Forever (Law and Order SVU - Carisi/Rollins)

Sonny frowned as Amanda slid out of Olivia’s office like she didn’t want to be seen. He watched her until her eyes met his and for a moment she froze, looking guilty before she relaxed into a soft smile.

“Amanda,” Sonny cut her off, grinning from ear to ear as Jesse and Billie wrapped their arms around their legs, pushing them closer together, squealing with delight. “It’s perfect.”

honey, you're familiar (Law and Order SVU - Carisi/Rollins)

“Yeah?” 

And he knew she did, no matter what. He knew she’d be there for whatever he needed, in ways he’d been too scared to ask of her before.

It Started with Pancakes (Law and Order SVU - Carisi/Langan)

It wasn’t like this between them, not really. They’d been sleeping together on and off, whenever they faced each other in court, for over a year, but that’s all it was. That’s all it had ever been. Which was why Trevor couldn’t quite understand the warmth blossoming behind his ribs at the sight of Sonny standing at his stove wearing a pair of Trevor’s sweat pants that were far too big for him, flipping pancakes like he did it all the time, like he belonged there.

Trevor huffed, smile stretching his face as that warmth blossomed behind his ribs again, stronger than ever before. “Me too.”

I'm tagging: @electrictoes @phdmama @kim-ruzek @shutterbug-12 @australiancarisi @floralparanormal and @luciehercndale

But obviously zero pressure!!!

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Sicktember #8

Prompt: Persistent Fever

Fandom/OCs: Cowboy ‘verse OCs (Aaron and Katy)

Words: 1900

Sicknario inspo: Checking for a fever post illness from this post, finding your love sick in bed from this post, patient reassuring caregiver from this post, and sick physically imposing character from this post.

Author’s comments/background: I just love these two so much, and it makes me sad to realize I haven't written them since last Sicktember (check out their first fic here). This would be a perfect fic for a "married people shenanigans" tag. They're crazy about each other, and I love writing about couples who are crazy about each other, if you haven't noticed. Would love to get more prompts for the two of them, hint hint.

Fun fact: I believe this is the only fic where I didn’t use the prompt somewhere in it verbatim. 

~~~***~~~

Aaron was kneeling in front of the stove, filling it with wood before bed, when he sensed Katy behind him. Guessing what was coming he paused, and sure enough, her small hand was suddenly pressed against his forehead. He frowned almost imperceptibly.

"I'm gonna feel hot, darlin'. I was jest choppin' wood. 'M all sweaty."

"I know, and I wish yeh wouldn't'a done that with how much ya been shakin'. I coulda done it."

He sat back on his heels and turned to look up at her, the frown deepening. "I'll never 'llow ya ta be choppin' wood while I'm home and able ta stand," he said firmly. "I ain't so sick anymore. Ya don't need ta worry 'bout me so much."

"I'm entitled ta worry if I please. I never saw ya sick like yeh were at first, sweatin' and shakin' and cryin' out. And then ya fall down outta nowhere like ya were dead the first day ya try ta get outta bed, burnin' up like ya were holdin' yer face in the fire. I've had my share of worry these last weeks, so I'm keepin' an eye on ya until further notice, buster."

"It was the second day I was outta bed," Aaron muttered.

"Even more reason, then. Yeh've caught yerself a damn stubborn fever, and I'm not takin' any chances until it's done and gone."

Aaron sighed. "Yer the boss, sugar, like I always say." He brushed his hand near his temple. "My head's still sore from fallin' anyway. I ain't keen ta have it happen again."

"I bet it is." Katy kissed the sore lump on his head tenderly. "Which is why ya need ta take it easy." She ran a hand over her braid distractedly. "I wish I wasn't leaving ya alone tomorrow. But Auntie Sarah's bound 'n determined to go into town tomorrow, and she won't go alone…."

Aaron carefully stood as she spoke, his sense of balance not yet fully returned since his illness, but when he was steady he tilted up her chin with a gentle touch, smoothing away the worry line between her brows with the pad of his thumb. "Quit yer worryin'," he murmured. "I'll be jest fine. Nothin's gonna happen, and yeh'll be back home before ya know it."

"I hope yer right," she sighed. "I don't like goin' ta town as is, an' this jest makes it worse. Tomorrow can't be done soon enough."

~~~

Aaron and Katy were up before the sun the next morning, neither in the mood for much talk. Aaron went out to do the morning chores (since that was the only thing Katy was allowing him to do currently) while his wife got ready for town. He finished the chores just as she finished dressing and primping. Katy watched through the bedroom window as her husband shuffled his way from the barn to the house, already (or still?) looking exhausted. She bit her lip in worry as she yet again noted how pale he still was, and how the deep circles under his eyes had yet to start fading. Despite what he said, he still wasn't himself, and she was at a loss of what to do. 

He made a point to put on a warm smile as soon as he came in the door, and she saw pride and admiration in his gaze as he took in her "dressing up" attire.

"Yeh look mighty fine, Miz Rivard," he murmured, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. 

She pulled away with a giggle. "Leave off, now. Yer gonna muss my dress, an' I jest pressed it," she said, though she flushed and smiled at his earnest praise. 

They both turned to the door just then as they heard Aunt Sarah's wagon roll up and come to a stop. Then they looked back at one another, worry puckering Katy's forehead yet again. 

"Ya be safe now, ya hear?" she murmured. "Don't do nothin' ta exert yerself too much. Ya cain't keel over while I'm not here, or I'll take a switch to ya."

"Don't be threatenin' me with a good time, now," he said, raising an eyebrow rakishly.  Then he laughed when she laughed. "I'll behave, I promise. Think I'll take a lil' lie-down this mornin', then I'll prob'ly dig up yer garden fer winter. I'll take it easy, though, don't ya worry none, my Katydid." 

"Okay," she sighed. 

They both jumped as Aunt Sarah began to holler for Katy, then shared a last smile.

"Behave yerself," Aaron murmured, pressing a handful of money into her palm. "And come home safe. I'll be waitin' up fer ya."

She reached up on tiptoes to press her lips to his forehead. "Take care o' yerself. I'll be back as soon as I can." With a wave, she flew out the door, hollering back to her aunt in greeting. 

Aaron watched wistfully, making sure they got off alright, then wasted no time in shuffling his way back to the bedroom, yawning wearily. 

~~~

It was just past dark when Aunt Sarah dropped Katy off after a successful day of errands. Katy nearly flew to the house once her aunt was out of sight, but she paused on the stoop, for the windows were dark and not a soul was in sight. She glanced at the garden and found it untouched from that morning. What else would Aaron have gotten up to that day if he couldn't get to the vegetables? She hurried to check the barn just in case, but it was quiet and dark, just like the house. 

She ran back to the house now, panic fluttering in her chest, expecting to find her man collapsed on the ground at any moment. 

"I jest knew shoulda had Andrew check on ‘im," she fretted to herself. "What a fool I am. I shoulda never left ‘im alone."

There was no sign of him in the main rooms, and everything looked exactly as it had when she left that morning. She flew to the bedroom, yanking open the door, then breathed a sigh of relief upon finding her husband safe in bed, wrapped in the coverlet and snoring, the moonlight casting the scene in sharp relief. 

She took several deep breaths to calm herself, knowing he would tease her mercilessly if he knew how worked up she'd been. Though she had a right to tease him right back after seeing all this. He'd promised to wait up for her and had fallen asleep before dark like a tired child instead. 

She moved around him quietly, changing into her night dress and brushing her hair for bed, but he didn't stir until she brought a candle to her nightstand so it shone directly in his face. She surveyed him at last as he stirred and mumbled and her heart plummeted again, because she didn't like what she saw at all. The hectic flush of an angry fever covered his cheeks, and the sweaty, tousled hair and blankets indicated that he hadn't left the bed for several hours. 

"Katy," he croaked, his eyes flickering open weakly. 

"Oh ya poor thing," she sighed, reaching out to brush the hair away from his forehead. 

" 'm not feelin' so good again all of a sudden," he mumbled, letting his eyes slip closed under her touch. 

"I cain see that. When'd it start?"

He thought for a minute. "S'pose it was right after ya left. Haven't had the gumption to get outta bed all day. Feelin' weak as water, jest bin sleepin' and sweatin' or shiverin'."

"It's a damn stubborn fever that yeh've caught, an' no mistake." She sighed again. "Alright, jest wait here while I fetch the basin, then."

"I ain't goin' nowhere. Don't think I'm much up to runnin' away jest now," came the weak, teasing response. 

Glancing over her shoulder, Katy saw the old, familiar twinkle in her husband's eyes, faint though it was under fever-shine, and the dimple in his cheek was flickering. Whenever he smiled like that, she couldn't help but smile back.

They passed the next stretch of time in silence as she bathed his face, underarms, neck and chest with cold water, trying to give him any relief from the heat raging beneath his skin. Katy was less worried this time than formerly, though, since he was fully lucid and even somewhat relaxed, just uncomfortable and sick where he had been delirious and restless before. He so rarely got to spend so much time at home, and when he was home he was rushing around to take care of things before he had to leave again, so this rare chance to simply rest and enjoy his company was a treat she was doing her best to savor.

 He had thrown off most of the blanket and she let herself get lost in momentary admiration. His long, lean legs, stretching nearly to the end of the bed, muscled and toned from a life spent on horseback; the various shades of tanning across his skin from years in the sun; the planes of his abdomen and chest and shoulders, smooth skin over rounded muscle, flexing and shifting each time he moved. Even feverish and miserable, he was beautiful, and his beauty distracted her from her worry. 

Eventually the water became too warm to do further good, but by then Aaron seemed marginally cooler and was resting more comfortably, so she set the basin aside. The sick man said he needed nothing further, so his wife at last slipped into bed beside him. He tugged her closer then, shifting to lie his head in her lap with a contented sigh. She began to trail her fingers up and down his back and neck and through his usually close-cropped hair. 

"We need ta give ya a haircut. Ya bin so sick that I ain't had the chance," she murmured, exploring the unfamiliar length around his ears.

"Mm," he hummed, too close to sleep for a true answer. In that same moment a chill wracked him, and he moaned softly as he shivered and shifted in discomfort.

Katy bit her tongue to keep from expressing her worry, but she couldn't keep a sigh from escaping as she pulled the coverlet over him once more. Out of nowhere his hand reached up, even despite the awkward angle, and he smoothed the worry line between her brows with the pad of his thumb.

"Quit yer worryin'," he murmured. "I'll be jest fine. Tried doin' too much the last few days. If I rest like ya bin tellin' me all along, I'll be good as new in a day or two."

She grabbed his hand and clasped it to her chest. "I jest need ya ta be well," she whispered. "I hate seein' ya so sick fer so long. My heart cain't take it."

His low chuckle was a soft rumble against her. "My soft-hearted woman. What would I do without ya. Ain't no way I cain stay under the weather for long with the good care ya bin givin' me."

"That better be a promise," Katy said, kissing his hand. 

"It's a promise, sugar," he murmured as he once again drifted toward sleep.

[glacierruler]

Nimona Analysis

Hi, so for those of you who don't know, I watched Nimona last night and kind of live blogged it! So if you click on that link, those are my live reactions to the show. Some of them more thought out than others. And also I was wrong a whole lot near the end of the movie. This post will be the analysis of the movie itself, I'll be analyzing the characters a little bit later. I'll come back and put links to the character analyses after I finish each one.

I'm going to tag two people specifically who I think would love to read this, based off of the interactions I had while liveblogging! @duck-in-a-spaceship and @wolfxkissed (I hope you don't mind the tag wolfxkissed, I just know you said that you'd like to read this!)

This post will contain spoilers for the movie Nimona

Also this is probably the longest text post I've ever made

Some CWs: suicide mentions, suicide attempt, trauma, religious trauma, brainwashing, cult like behavior, abuse, isolation, ableism, queerphobia, death, attempted murder, murder

Please tell me if I missed any, again this movie is dark, so this analysis of the movie will be touching on the darker aspects of things.

Okay, the first thing I want to say, is I love the writing that went into this movie. Each and every single character had thought behind every action they made. And while my live blog went somewhat deep into some of the actions behind the characters, it nowhere near does them justice. However, before we analyze the characters I want to analyze the movie itself(which will have a bit of character analysis in it, but not nearly as much as they all deserve). I'll be trying to go in the order of most light hearted to most dark.

I think that Nimona was specifically made for the Tumblr queer and ND folks, don't get me wrong, it was probably made for queer and ND people in general, however based on the humor, the beliefs of the characters(especially Nimona herself), and the execution of how the movie shows certain things just leads me to believe that at least one of the main writers for this show is a tumblr user. (/hj /hsrs)

Now with that, let's get into the movie.

Again this is not a scene by scene analysis of everything but a lightest to darkest topics analysis.

First I want to talk about the usage and reversal of common tropes. Usually the light and dark knight trope is used to symbolize who's in the wrong and who's in the right. You're usually rooting for the light knight and booing the dark one, the dark one's the villain. Which is why I like how they did this, they took that trope and reversed it, but they did so by making it so that neither knight were the actual villain. Both were hurt and brainwashed into a society that they hoped and wanted to accept them. Pitted against each other because of misunderstandings, lies, and where they were in their character arcs.

I want to talk about the isolation and loneliness that Nimona feels throughout this whole movie. In the scene where she's remembering her trauma vividly, you can't help but feel for her. She tried to be loved by every creature, but all of them inherently knew that she was different than them somehow, and she finally makes a friend, Gloreth, and she's a human. Someone who had embraced Nimona for who she is, instead of turning her away. Now I believe there are two reasons for this.

The creatures ignoring Nimona is to show the way a lot of ND folks tend to be ignored by those that they wish to be friends with at best. I want to touch on this more, but despite being ND myself, I don't think I was on the receiving end of this, or if I was I didn't really notice 'cause I was busy with my friends who are almost all slightly ND.

How trans people are villainized and ostracized in our society, and that when kids are younger, they tend not to care deeply about things like that until their parents take a stance on it. I say this because Gloreth did not care about the shapeshifting at first, she had been a bit nervous because it meant that Nimona was different. But overall Gloreth had found it cool that Nimona could do that(which was my internal reaction to my friends coming out before I realized I was genderfluid myself, I didn't know it was possible so it was the coolest thing ever and I wished that I could do that, although it seemed Gloreth was content with not being able to shapeshift so that last part might not apply to her).

What makes this so heartwrenching, is at the end of the scene, you see the first time Nimona was villainized by others, being so surprised and hurt physically and emotionally. They had all seen something so different in this little girl that they had known, and decided she needed to die because of it. The thing that had saved Nimona, her ability to shapeshift. The trait that I believe she comes to hate most about herself.

Which, okay, I know that one's going to be hard for me to explain. But hear me out. (I say as if that movie didn't touch on her self hatred of her powers at all, despite it being like a main plot point.) Nimona had been ostracized and almost murdered because of her powers, called a monster. As strong as she is, when something like that is ingrained into your head, it doesn't matter how much you know it's not true, it still feels true. Her powers are I think the one thing she hated and loved about herself the most. She loved being able to transform, to be herself, there's no denying that. But everyone else hated it. They hated her for it.

Which brings me to all the underlying and not so underlying queerphobia in the movie. Not in the oh this movie is so queerphobic way, but in the oh this movie went through and showed all the queerphobia that todays society had and still has even with people who say they're progressive, it is calling us as a society out for this which is sadly rare to see in movies and shows that make commentary about society. It's less rare now, but still rare or not done right. But with this show, they did it so well. So much thought was put into this. With some of Ballister's lines really hitting how, transphobia especially, can come from more 'progressive' people or even people in the community. Especially the, "Not everyone is as accepting as me,"(paraphrased) line. Telling someone to hide who they are, can make them feel isolated and alone, and it hurts worse when it comes from someone who you thought would at least come from someone on the same page as you. Really emphasized by the fact that both of them are seen as villains for something that's not their fault.

This is one of the reason's that I really like Ballister's character arc, and how he grows in the movie. He's not perfect, and I'm so glad about that you have no idea. If he or Ambrosius had been perfect I would've hate watched the rest of the movie, simply because of everything that's happening around and to them, it would've ruined the movie. idk, maybe that's just a me thing. Anyways, back to what I was talking about. He was set up for the murder of the queen who we learned was questioning everything about Gloreth. Because of this and the prejudice already against him because he wasn't of noble blood, it was easy for the population to believe that he had killed the queen. In fact, I believe that if this had happened irl, we would've believed that. But I'll hop onto that point later. Because of the position he had been placed in, one would think that Ballister would be able to understand where Nimona is coming from better, but he doesn't and can't because of how he himself had been raised and brainwashed. Which again, will be the next point I talk about, although it's hard not to talk about it here too much as well, because Ballister's dangerous misunderstandings about Nimona come from being raised in a cult-like environment. And you see him battling his thoughts, especially in the later part of the movie, having realized that he was asking small minded questions that were hurting her. But because of how he viewed her and how he was trying to change how he viewed her, it still got to him in the end. However, you can still see the character growth because he can't call her a monster. Which is when you see Nimona's despair and hatred for herself as well, because she did. She called herself a monster, and she ran out believing it.

However a lot of the underlying queerphobic subtext comes from Todd, who is quick to beat up those who divert from what the director wants/says. Much like how queerphobia comes mainly from the Christian church in most places. Todd mocked Ambrosius for being in love with Ballister, he beat up Ballister asking for information on Nimona. Which might not be seen as queerphobic, but with the situations and circumstances, it is. It is literally to show how queerphobia like that comes from high ranking places, and the people in those places either join in or turn a blind eye to everyone. This is more based on what I was feeling during the film though, so I don't really have much to back it up with.

Now before getting into the darkest aspects of this story, I want to talk about the cult-like behavior of the monarchy in Nimona. This monarchy raised noble children who raised noble children who raised noble children to rise up and be able to defend the kingdom from monsters, which we either knew coming into the movie, or learned later throughout it, was a bs excuse to maintain power. An excuse that came from the 'monster' being hurt by the humans, instead of hurting the humans like everyone has been told had happened. The director knows this, she has to, based on her speech to Nimona pretending to be Ambrosius. The queen had been looking into things, so the queen had to be killed. It was also a strategic move killing the queen, because, at least from my perspective, the director seems more like a beloved religious figure, especially with how she dresses, I wouldn't be surprised if that was why they chose that outfit for her. To symbolize how governments will take a certain religion, and use it for their own power, and if something diverts from what the religion wants, then it's this horrible evil thing.

Throughout this film both Ballister and Ambrosius made choices that most people would get mad or upset at, because they don't necessarily understand these choices. But both of these individuals have been raised in this cult like environment that thrives off of lies for their whole lives. And nothing had ever challenged that false perception of the world before, so they had no way of knowing anything else. And it was heart wrenching because I know what it's like having to go through that.

Ballister was ostracized because he had worked his way to the top, which the director did not like. Although she pretended to let him in so she could frame him for the queen's murder. But there was really only one person on Ballister's side, his boyfriend, Ambrosius, and then he lost that as soon as the queen died. (Which, to be fair to Ambrosius, if your bf was holding the sword that killed the queen in front of everyone you would think your bf killed her as well).

But I think the most telling part of how fucked up this cult-like institution had become, was that Ballister thought everything would be fine if he showed his bf the clip of his sword getting switched. He thought, that if that had happened, there was no way that Ambrosius would think he was a murderer anymore. And then the confrontation happened, and the director was whispering lies in Ambrosius's ears, to keep him on her side. Forcing him into a situation to choose, between the person he knew the most, or the institute. And in his mind, he had to choose the institute, because everything pointed to his boyfriend being the murder, yes he finds out later that it's fabricated by the institute, but he had no way of telling that, and so was torn between this decision.

I think the only thing I didn't like is how rushed it seemed at the end of them breaking down everything. Like, yes, it took a while to get there, and it probably took months for society to look like that again. But it almost seemed like it had only been a week at most. It's about the only thing I don't like about the Nimona movie, and it's simply because of my personal experiences with being forced to believe something that wasn't true. It can take years just to be able to change that mindset, and everyone in this civilization had the mindset of Gloreth is perfect and unwavering and slays the monster! And it just felt rushed to me. Again this is more of an opinion than a fact, but it is based off of my experiences with that.

Now for the darkest part imo, the part where Nimona actively tries to kill herself. After years of being alone, hurt, isolated, and treated like trash. She finally thinks that everyone else is right, that maybe she should just die, it would be easier on everyone without her. And you can't help but want to tell her that she's not a monster, that she's cared for. But she had just been discarded by someone who she thought she could trust, something she doesn't give out easily after what happened with Gloreth. And it took Ballister a while to be able to save her, in fact, based off of where he was and how fast she was moving, plus his injuries, logically, he couldn't have been able to stop her. But, speaking from experience, sometimes what keeps you alive, what keeps you from killing yourself, doesn't make logical sense, doesn't fit what you had thought everything to be or where you thought that person was. And that is why I'm so glad they did it that way. They didn't have a heart to heart, it was literally him holding her back from running her heart through a sword. I don't really have much to say here, without going into some personal stories, that I'd really rather not go into right now, but yeah.

Is there something that I'm not seeing and/or overlooking, probably. And I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this movie!

[acourtofthought]

SUPER LONG POST ON ELAIN'S BUILD UP AND JOURNEY IN A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES

29:50 - "because this is where I wanted it go it allowed me to plant things for her journey and even Elain's journey early on"

30:48 - "I always try to keep one eye on the horizon when I'm writing just to make sure in the book I'm working on, I can set up for things later on. So there's lot of little secrets in SF that set up for later.” (from SJMs Live Talks LA with Eva Chen)

I think it's impressive how SJM can tell a story inside a story. So many people note Elain's absence in SF, how she barely has any setup for a book. But if you're paying attention, all the hints for her future book including the growth she's already had and that which she still needs to overcome has been spelled out for us:

True hell, because that was Elain lying on the stone floor with the red-haired, one-eyed Fae male hovering over her

The very first page of SF features both Elain and Lucien and Nesta struggling with the memory of it. They are the very first characters mentioned in Nesta's book. It sets up that a large part of Nesta's story is learning to make a life for herself outside of being Elain's protector and learning to let go of Elain so they both have the space to grow as individuals.

Elain, too, had revealed no indication of her seer’s abilities since then.

Powers having gone dormant or unexplored, definitely something to explore in Elain's book.

Even their gods-damned father had a portrait on the wall along one side of the grand staircase: him and Elain, smiling and happy, as they’d been before the world went to shit. Sitting on a stone bench amid bushes bursting with pink and blue hydrangea. The formal gardens of their first home, that lovely manor near the sea.

Not really plot related but were we ever told their old manor house in the human lands was near the sea? I just find it interesting that Elain's portrait led to Nesta remembering how happy Elain had been with her father in the formal gardens of their old home by the sea and that's very similar to what Lucien said in ACOWAR, “Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two.” it's almost like he was able to glimpse a time when Elain was happy prior to being made.

she had only what she’d taken from the Cauldron, rather than letting it deign to gift her with power, as it had with Elain.

I imagine SJM will further explore exactly why Elain was chosen to be gifted with powers.

Where the hell was Elain?

A common refrain in SF. Elain isn't around as much as the other characters but SJM is sure to draw our attention to that fact. She wants you to note her absence.

Elain had walked in halfway through. She’d been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn, and had been solemn as Rhys filled her in. Feyre had been unable to say a word. But Elain’s gaze remained steady as she listened to Rhys.

Two things. One, dawn is pretty early and there are a few mentions of Elain alongside dawn and dusk (setting sun). It may be nothing but when SJM tagged Elain under Blodeuwedd, the picture featured a Barred Owl, which are Crepuscular. A term used to describe animals that are active at dawn and dusk which would be a point in favor of the theory that Elain is an owl shifter. And two, we have our first mention of Elain remaining calm where characters might usually expect her to break down.

Feyre had simply said that the human world would be more than enough of a prison for someone like Nesta. Someone like Feyre, too. And Elain. The human world was behind them. They could never return. Even though all three of them were war heroes, each in their own right, the humans wouldn’t care.

SJM made sure to note that none of the sisters would be welcome in the human lands, regardless of the parts they played in the war.

Elain, who would not eat, or speak, or do anything at all. Elain, who had somehow become the adjusted one.

She had nowhere to go. Elain, mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen, had found a place, a role here. Tending to the gardens of Feyre’s veritable palace on the river, helping other residents of Velaris restore their own destroyed gardens—she had purpose, and joy, and friends: those two half-wraiths who worked in Rhysand’s household. But those things had always come easily to her sister. Had always made Elain special. Had made Nesta fight like hell to keep Elain safe at all costs.

I think the above lines are important because a lot of E/riels hold fast to them as proof of Elain being happy in the Night Court. But just because Elain has made a life for herself, it's what we'd expect from her. Nesta notes that sort of thing had always come easily to Elain so it doesn't matter where she currently is, she'd always make the best of it that she could. But we'll see later that it's not as simple as all that, not to mention that "mourn as she might for the life she would have had with Graysen" is very in life with Azriel still having a few longing glances at Mor. They might be getting over their past but they're not completely there yet meaning they can't truly be in love.

Thesan, Nesta recalled, was a master of healing—Feyre bore his power in her veins. Had offered to use it to heal Elain from her stupor after being turned High Fae.

This line stood out to me because we're told Thesan was willing to try and heal Elain but he never did. Why? If they were so worried about Elain not eating or drinking, why didn't they bring him in? It might be nothing but it does make me wonder if it's an additional hint that Elain has healing powers which I've previously done a theory on and that she was able to heal herself (especially once her Mate came around which is when she began showing major improvements. Lucien's presence seems to have kickstarted the powers she has. Another hint at her having healing powers is the possibility that she was the one who helped heal Cassian after his confrontation with the King. Feyre wonders if Nesta healed him which we know wasn't the case but Elain was the one who rushed to his side immediately after stabbing Hybern.

She’d found a smutty novel she’d already read and loved in one of the trunks Elain had packed.

Not a hint so much as a reminder of how Elain pays attention to her loved ones, remembering to pack one of Nesta's favorite books. A book Nesta would have read during the time she sat by Elain's bedside. Elain may have been withdrawn but she seemed to still observe.

Elain was in the private library. Her sister’s delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring, a sparkling river that she followed to the open doors of the chamber.

A promise of Spring. The first hint of Elain ending up in the Spring Court. Also honey is associated with Spring and while Jasmine is found in the NC, it was also found in the Spring Court and is associated with the Goddess Aphrodite (the Goddess of Love and Beauty).

Elain stood at the wall of windows, clad in a lilac gown whose close-fitting bodice showed how well her sister had filled out since those initial days in the Night Court. Her sister turned toward her, glowing with health.

Reference to Elain being bright, light, etc.

Elain’s smile was as bright as the setting sun beyond the windows.

Another reference to Elain's brightness. She also came to visit Nesta at "dusk" (see above).

Elain had been the ghost then, too thin, with her thoughts turned inward. Elain had only needed time to adjust.

Again, Nesta is still under the impression that Elain is fine, completely healed.

When human, Elain had easily been the prettiest of the three of them, and when she’d been turned High Fae, that beauty had been amplified. Nesta couldn’t put her finger on what changes had been wrought beyond the pointed ears, but Elain had gone from lovely to devastatingly beautiful. Elain never seemed to realize it. It was always that way between them: Elain, sweet and oblivious, and Nesta, the snarling wolf at her side, poised to shred anyone who threatened her. Elain is pleasant to look at, her mother had once mused but she has no ambition. She does not dream beyond her garden and pretty clothes. She will be an asset on the marriage market for us one day, if that beauty holds

This is truly how a lot of the characters view Elain, basically a beautiful but dumb Barbie. With no ambition, no awareness. Her mother proclaimed as much when Elain was only 11 years old. Nesta ended up defying what her mother wanted for her and I imagine Elain will prove her wrong as well.

Elain, surprisingly, held her ground.

More growth for Elain, she's beginning to stand up for herself and doesn't back down when things get difficult.

Elain squared her shoulders again, just as Nesta added, “It’s not like you and Graysen didn’t act on your feelings.” It was a low blow, but Nesta didn’t care. She knew Elain had given her maidenhead to Graysen a month before they’d been turned Fae. Elain had been glowing the next morning. Elain cocked her head. Didn’t dissolve into the crying mess she usually became when Graysen came up.

“I still wanted to come,” Elain went on with that focused calm, the quiet steel building in her voice. “I wanted to see you, to explain.”

Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta.”

More growth and proof that she's begun moving on from Graysen. That she no longer pines for him. It also shows how mature and aware Elain actually is. She's able to reason through the pain of losing her father and place the blame where it's deserved.

Elain stiffened, but refused to balk from whatever she beheld in Nesta’s gaze. “You think I’m to blame for his death?” Challenge filled each word. Challenge—from Elain, of all people.

Even more growth. And this continues throughout SF, everyone expressing surprise over Elain standing up for herself.

“What happened.” When Rhys spoke like that, it was more of a command than a question. Elain waved a hand in dismissal before flinging open the veranda doors and striding into the open air.

Even Nesta struggled to not bow to Rhys's command so there's a chance that if he really used his "dominance" here, Elain easily ignored it which is saying something.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” Nesta shot to her feet. “No. Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. “You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.”

Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

“I do,” Elain said coldly. “And I remember Feyre rescuing me.”

Elain’s eyes brightened with pain. Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

But Elain turned on her heel. “Find me when you wish to begin.” The doors shut behind her.

Not only is Elain volunteering to do something that even Nesta is afraid of but she refused to back down when Nesta argued against it. Seriously, what more does she need to do to prove she's ready for her own book? Nesta started at rock bottom for hers so why are readers expecting Elain to be further along in her journey to be FMC material?

Nesta said to Feyre, “Did you tell Elain?” Before Feyre could reply, Azriel said, “What about Mor?”

Of course, Elain's journey will involve a love interest and E/riels believe it will be Az. But where they claim love, SF proves Az is still hung up on Mor no matter what obsession he's got with Elain.

“Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

I do not think this hint indicates she's up to anything shady or suspicious. I think it has more to do with the possibility of her being a shifter but whichever theory you prefer, the line obviously creates intrigue.

"Elain showed some teeth.". "I wasn't expecting that." Or what she's said about her lingering trauma. How many times had I focused solely on my terror during Elain's suffering?

More shock over Elain being bold and proof that Elain, no matter how it appears, is still processing her own traumas.

While I might never run to Elain first with problems or for advice, we had a peaceful, amicable understanding. I found her to be a pleasant companion. I wondered if she'd resent that judgment. I certainly would.

Evidence that Elain doesn't really belong with the IC or the NC. Her sisters care for her but she's somewhat of an afterthought in terms of having a close relationship.

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she'd disappoint you all."" With time and safety perhaps we'll see a different side of her emerge ".

"You think Elain is boring?" "I think she's kind, and I'll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven't seen all she has to offer"

Pretty obvious, but again, even more build up that Elain is about to really grow into herself, that she's not as two dimensional as they thought.

"Elain had come into the house, her right palm bleeding from several gashes thanks to a stubborn rosebush that had pierced her gloves. I didn't dare mention that if she had been wearing the enchanted gloves Lucien had gotten her last Solstice, nothing would have pierced them at all. "

It's been quite a while since Feyre made that comment about Az and Elain being mates. In that time, her focus has entirely shifted to Elain and Lucien getting to know one another and it's kind of a big deal that Feyre addressed Elain and her Mate in her bonus chapter. Of course there's no romantic buildup for Elucien in SF but where was the romantic buildup for Nessian in ACOFAS? SJM has kept Elain and Lucien apart so when it's time for their book, they can grow together and that time is overdue.

"Let's focus on helping one sister before we start on the other"

It's not a stretch to say that now that Nesta's book is done, Elain is ready for hers.

But Elain had confirmed it for everyone: both sisters still possessed their Cauldron-gifted powers. Whether they were as powerful as before, he had no idea.

We were given the majority of Nesta's powers in her book but Elain's still need to be explored in hers.

And though he understood that Elain had spoken true, claiming the trauma of that memory,

Cassian acknowledging that Elain is entitled to her trauma which others have not always remembered and yet another reminder that Elain is still dealing with everything that happened to her. Just because she's out and about doesn't mean she's completely healed.

Elain would faint to hear such thoughts. And to hear that Nesta had already had two males in her bed not once but twice, and had enjoyed every second of it.

The entire narrative surrounding Elain is her sisters not fully understanding her. There's a good chance that even though Elain isn't an over-sharer when it comes to her sexuality or others, she may be extremely open minded when it comes to experiences with her partner and the above is another one of the examples where Elain will most likely prove her sisters assessment of her as incorrect. My guess is she'll perform in Springs Great Rite which is fairly voyeuristic.

Elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers, but her imagination had stretched no further. Feyre had talked once about the glorious art in the continent’s museums and private estates. But that was all the western edge of it. Beyond that, the continent was vast. And to the south, another continent sprawled. Would she have gone?

Who is possibly located to the South? Koschei. A place where SJM made sure to remind us (through Cassian) that Lucien has been to.

Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie’s garden. Cassian didn’t exactly know why he suspected this wasn’t true. There had been some tightness in Elain’s face as she’d said it.

Remember those other mentions of Elain being up at dawn? Or another possibility is she left the dinner table when Feyre did because Az was at that particular one. In the bonus chapter, we find out she knows he's been avoiding the dinners because of her so she may have not wanted to feel uncomfortable.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

Big red flag for E/riel. After all the growth Elain has shown so far, what do readers honestly think she'd have to say about Azriel’s comment?

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Amren, a 15,000 year old creature, is telling us that Elain IS ready to handle something dangerous.

Elain could make her own choices. And had chosen to thoroughly shut the door on Nesta. Even as she fully embraced Feyre and her world. Nesta’s chest tightened, but she refused to think of it, acknowledge it. Elain was like a dog, loyal to whatever master kept her fed and in comfort.

The above excerpt is important because we know for a fact that Nesta's perception of Elain is skewed by the emotions Nesta is feeling about herself. Anti Elain's like to focus on the "Elain was like a dog, loyal to whoever kept her in comfort" but not only is that wrong (which Cassian acknowledges) but I think the "even as she fully embraced Feyre and her world" is wrong too. Elain is trying to fit into the NC and Feyre's world, she's trying to make the best of her situation, but all the little hints in SF add up to the fact that Elain doesn't really belong there, that she hadn't "fully embraced" anything about the NC so much as she's trying to be fine with it.

What would Elain think, to see Nesta here with a friend? The thought bubbled up from nowhere. As if in opening her mind, it had rushed toward her. Would Elain be pleased, or would she feel the need to warn Gwyn about Nesta’s true self?

Nesta did so, focusing on the breaths and not Elain. I acknowledge this thought about my sister, and I am letting it go.

She was on her seventh breath when her sister appeared again. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you. Had Elain been right? Feyre had admitted she was guilty of it, too, but—Feyre hadn’t known Elain as Nesta did. Or, it hadn’t been that way before. Before Elain had chosen Feyre.

This entire scene is about Nesta struggling with her history with Elain, beginning the process of letting go so she can live a life as something other than Elain's protector. Which is a big deal for both sisters.

And do not forget that Nesta herself—and Elain, with whatever powers she has. All three sisters blessed by fate and gifted with powers to match your own.

Not just her "seer" powers which they know about but "whatever powers she has, meaning she could have something more. And powers to match Rhys? That's a pretty big statement for a simple Seer.

Elain would love this place.

But Elain … The Spring Court had been made for someone like her. Too bad her sister refused to see her. Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit.

We have repeatedly heard how important the Spring Court is because of its location and how a weakened court could lead to some major concerns. We also know Tamlin isn't getting better. So the many mentions of Elain and Spring are pretty heavy (possible) foreshadowing for what's to come.

Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from. Cassian tucked away his puzzlement.

This part makes me curious because why would Elain look away from Az? In the bonus chapter he said they shared looks but her looking away from him is the opposite of that.

“Another young heiress was at the ball, and she positively hated me. She was several years older, and I’d never done anything to provoke her hatred, but I think …” “She was jealous of your beauty,” Amren said, an amused smile on her red lips. Elain blushed. “Perhaps.”It was definitely that. Even though Elain would have been barely thirteen at the time.

Nesta was wrong, Cassian realized, to think Elain as loyal and loving as a dog. Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

Elain nodded, folding her hands in her lap. “So I’m very pleased to hear of this Valkyrie business. I’m happy that Nesta finds interest in something again.

Not so much hinting at anything but it does add to the picture of who Elain is. She's not obsessed with her own looks and Nesta was wrong in thinking Elain was loyal like a dog, the she's actually very observant and sees the heart of who someone is. It also shows that Elain is happy that Nesta has found something that might make her happy.

"so you and Elain are the only options.” “Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said.

Further evidence that the characters in the NC make decisions for Elain without her being around to voice her opposition.

“Not enough,” Nesta said, setting the bear back onto the stone mantel. She was going to vomit. She plucked another figurine from the mantel: a rose carved from a dark sort of wood. She held it in her palm, its solid weight surprising, and traced a finger over one of the petals. “He made this one for Elain.

She pocketed the carved rose

She clenched the wooden rose in her pocket.

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer.

To me, there is so much symbolism going on in the above. Nesta could have taken any of the figures her father made but took the one that represented Elain. Not to mention the figure itself had a "surprising weight" which makes me think of Elain herself. They had thought she was a bit shallow for so long yet she keeps surprising them. Later, she takes the carving and, without knowing why, places it next to a Goddess figure. I also think the phrase "half hidden in the shadows" is important because I think as long as she engages in something with Az, she'll never fully step into who she's meant to be.

Both sisters wore black. Both walked behind Rhys and Feyre, a silent indicator that they were a part of the royal family. Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed. So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her. Nesta in Night Court black threatened to bring him to his knees.

Elain is trying. She's trying to prove that she wants to help, that she can do what Nesta can do, that she can be part of the court like her sisters are. Because that is who Elain is, she tries to grow where she's planted. But it's extremely evident that no matter what she's telling herself and others, she's not thriving. There is something not clicking and that's going to be the point of her story. Breaking free of what she feels she needs to do and discovering where she's meant to be, who she's meant to be.

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health. Except …

It's very obvious when you see this and the last scene back to back. Away from a place that embodies half of what the NC represents, Elain is again glowing. And no, that doesn't mean she can just avoid the Hewn City and still belong to the IC, the IC members have certain traits that do match with what you'd find in the Hewn City. They can be cruel and vicious when they need to be but that's not how Elain has been written. Not to mention, in SF Elain is always wearing a shade of purple and I don't think that's coincidental. Purple is considered a color of royalty (which could end up being for one of a few reasons: there are hints of Elain becoming High Lady of Spring, she is mated to Lucien who is showing the markers of becoming a High Lord or there is evidence to support him being High King and, lavender which is a shade of purple is the color of Silba (Goddess of Healing and Gentle Deaths).

And Nesta wondering if she's been taking lessons in stealth does not mean she's actually taking lessons in stealth. It's an SJM sleight of hand, letting us know this is something to pay attention to but she's not giving us the full story (my money is still on her being an owl shifter as owls fly silently which is know as the stealthy hunting hypothesis).

“Oh, fuck you,” Nesta snapped, and then choked. Elain blinked. Nesta blinked back, horror lurching through her. And then Elain burst out laughing. Howling, half-sobbing laughs that sent her bending over at the waist, gasping for breath. Nesta just stared, torn between questions and wanting to throw herself into the icy Sidra. “I— I’m so sorry—” Elain held up a hand, wiping her eyes with the other. “You’ve never said such a thing to me!” She laughed again. “I think that’s a good sign, isn’t it?”

This is a huge moment between Elain and Nesta. It shows that Elain has never wanted to be coddled and Nesta can move forward with treating Elain like the grown woman she is.

Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

Nesta is aware of Azriel having some kind of feelings for Elain but note how she doesn't indicate her feelings on it. However she does think that Elain is a "wretch" for sitting far away from her Mate. This is huge for the future of Elain's journey because Nesta has had some major issues with Lucien (not for any good reason, just because she felt she should have a say who who was allowed near Elain). And Elain has always seemed very aware of that. With Nesta finally backing down and almost accepting him, it clears the way for Elain to deal with Lucien without her sisters watching her every move.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

E/riels love using this as proof that Elucien won't happen but I disagree. There has been so much in SF that while Elain is growing, she still hasn't found the place where she'll thrive. And as long as she's running from that fact, she'll continue running from a Mate who sees more than she's comfortable with anyone seeing right now. To me, beginning to find her place in the world comes first and getting to know Lucien will follow.

I'm not really getting into the whole Az POV Chapter because it's been done a million times over. Az and Elain want to kiss but I don't feel their interest is healthy or for the right reasons. I think the rose necklace is representative of Elain, that it looks ordinary (the characters think Elain is 2 dimensional) until held to the light (when she finally makes her way to Spring or Day and opens herself up to her Mate who is basically the Sun personified) it's true depth will become visible (Elain will finally show everyone who she is and what she's capable of). Rhys is completely anti E/riel and coming from a best friend, that should tell you something. Not to mention Elain returns Az's gift which shows growth from when she refused to return Graysens after his rejection.

She had a vague sense of Cassian and Mor and Azriel nearby, of Feyre and Rhys and Lucien, of Elain and Varian and Helion.

Elain standing near her mate's (unknown) father is definitely one of those things that make you go hmmmm.

Nesta held love in her own heart as she pulled the small, carved rose from her pocket and set it upon the gravestone. A permanent marker of the beauty and good he’d tried to bring into the world.

She found Feyre and Elain waiting halfway down the hill, Nyx now dozing peacefully in Elain’s arms. Her sisters beamed, beckoning her to join. And Nesta smiled back, her steps light as she hurried down the hill to meet them.

The above is on the last page of the book.

Elain was mentioned on the first page of SF and the last page. Not to mention that rose carving makes an appearance once again.

The rose carving made for Elain, a character who is often linked to roses (a rose bloom in a mud field, a rose necklace, roses on her dresser drawer), was brought back from the Human Lands, placed on Nesta's mantle next to a figure of a Goddess then in the final scene, Nesta parts with the carving claiming it's a marker of the beauty and good her father brought into the world.

I get that fans of Gwyn and Az are hoping or feel they will have the next book. And maybe they will, it's really a 50/50 shot because SJM put a lot in SF for their characters as well.

But the argument that Elain wasn't in SF or she's not ready for her own book drives me a bit crazy.

Elain didn't even need to be on page because every character in the IC found it necessary to bring Elain into their thoughts and conversations. She's shown growth in standing up for herself and asking not to be treated like a child, she's showing that she's ready to take on something that is considered dangerous, and she chose herself over Azriel when returning his gift rather than pining as she did Graysen. We've already got possible plotlines including specific locations and possible powers outside of her being a Seer. We've also got reasons for her to finally want to distance herself from the IC, what with Azriel’s rejection (definitely a reason she might want to move out of Rhys and Feyre's considering they conduct court business there) and everyone deciding what she can or can't do.

The girl is ready for her book and she had a MASSIVE amount of hints and buildup placed throughout Nesta's (her sister's) story. If that's not enough to convince people Elain is ready to be a FMC, then I have no idea how they think she'll have more page time in a Gwynriel book. Because the sisters journeys, while also including their love interest and found family's, are greatly driven by their relationships with one another and how after their growth, they'll come together in a less broken way. Not to mention we don't need another book full of people wondering where Elain is, that she doesn't quite belong in the NC and being surprised that she's standing up for herself. I honestly think SJM got the point across in SF.

We saw a lot of healing between Nesta and Feyre but until Elain has her book, the three sisters cannot fully embrace the new relationships they've formed with one another.

[isthisselfcare]

Please forgive my absence, I log into tumblr once every 4 business months

I have answered some asks but not all, for which I apologise 

hello! rereading your work for the second time, proud of myself for translating less words than before (this british english's got hands and they kick me a lot). i keep beating myself about the question: WHAT is the clue about the mole in chapter 1? you said it was paltry, i didn't believe you, now i'm trying to make my eyes fall out over finding said clue. spare me.

It was the line about Shacklebolt’s assistant, she was grouchy about Draco for no discernable (at the time) reason: ‘Draco scheduled a visit with the Minister of Magic later that week. He sauntered past the Minister’s sour-faced assistant on the designated day, wondering who had pissed in her Pixie Puffs.’

She’s the one who would’ve heard Hermione discussing her findings with Shacklebolt early on, and subsequently learned that this Notorious Auror was going to protect her. That’s the entire not-even-clue. Rubbish, isn’t it?

Hi, since you like Jerome K Jerome, I was wondering if you've read "Two and a half men in a boat" by Nigel Williams? He basically recreated the boat trip on Thames with his friends like in Jerome's book. Nowhere near as good as the original, but it's pretty funny! He emulates Jerome's wit quite well.

I have not, but will add this to my reading list! 

Is Hermione bi in your fic?

I am congenitally unable to write cishet women, so, yes, or pan, possibly. Didn’t get into her head enough to know 

hey girlie. what does "cutty-uppy" means? i can't find the definition anywhere

Sorry. That was a made up word, referring to the sort of people who cut people up, those terrible Muggle surgeons  

do you mind if your tags are used on other fics? i think your tags on DMATMOOBIL are a creative writing piece in their own right (they make me laugh sm) so I was a bit disturbed to find fics that copy them verbatim with no credit.

I don’t mind at all, AO3 tags take on their own self-referential, memeish life and I am happy to add mine to the ecosystem. My own tags on Mortifying include the ‘no X we die like men’ and ‘what is X if not Y persevering’ meme-phrases

do you see yourself writing more dramione in the future?

I haven’t any plans to do so at present, sorry!

Continuing an investigation to see if you are actually Hermione, can you do a taraskvana?

Hah. No. I've got a dodgy knee, I can hardly even sit cross-legged!

She's a 10 but she only has 1 story posted

It’s me!

Dont know If somebody has already asked you this - would it be okay to print Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love?

Printing for your personal use is fine

I noticed something about the Beltane chapter: "hippocampus" is a part of our brain's limbic system and one of its functions is memory formation, specifically creation  and consolidation thereof, so I thought it was very symbolic that Hermione and Draco were racing creatures  with the same name. Cause I feel like that chapter is a turning point in their relationship - Hermione stops seeing him as a barely tolerable pureblood ass. It's around that point that they really do start kind of liking each other  and start - if you will - forming new memories together! I know I'm just overthinking things, but I love dmatmoobil so much I'm constantly on the lookout for hidden meanings and symbolism.

There are a lot of easter eggs in the fic, but with this one, you have given me far too much credit. Thank you for sharing it! 

Will you be participating in the DHr advent?

Hiya, no, I had to decline as I hadn’t any writing time this autumn, honoured to have been invited, however, and eager to read the works!

Would you ever write a Tomione or a Sevmione?

I never say never, but frankly the possibility is remote. So sorry

Pain au chocolat ou chocolatine?

Scandaleux comme question, ça… pain au chocolat ! 

Re the “Marathon of chaos” on your Instagram. It’s been such a ride to not only follow your fanfic (I was an early adopter, which I know makes me sound like a hipster snob, and maybe I am one) but also watch it go from like 100 kudos to one of the top fics in the fandom. I’m here for your marathon and really grateful for all the work you put into MOBIL. Now for the question… when can we expect your next book? I don’t care if it’s Dramione, any other pairing, or any other fandom, or original fic, I WILL read it! Please continue to hit us with chaos!!!!

Thank you for your kind words! 

I haven’t got an answer on the timeline for the next piece, or whether I will link it with this online identity, but I am toying with the idea of writing it entirely in comic sans

Your Hermione was my gay awakening

If this is serious, I hope you find your own Hermione one day!

Can we please be friends? You sound like you would make a great one

Unfortunately, I am a rubbish friend who never responds to texts and cancels plans at every opportunity, you don’t want to know me 

I was so happy to see Uzbekistan mention in your story. That had never happened before. Thank you for mentioning my country 😻

You are welcome! Uzbekistan is honestly one of the most breath-taking countries I’ve ever visited – monuments that dwarf the Taj Mahal – unearthing the grand and bloody history of the Silk Road – stepping upon the same sands that the great Khans thundered across – seeing the ruins of the caravanserai – sheer magic! To say nothing of the hospitality of the people. I had far too much plov and quickly discovered my limit for vodka

You are my favorite cryptid

Cheeky. Thank you

And, finally, thank you to the person who sent me this article on a sacred relic that was stolen from an abbey and then returned ‘in an unceremonious cardboard box’! Hormone and Crotch are still at large

[tyxoxo]

Feel It - teaser.

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader teaser, find full fic here.

genre: smut, pornstar!jaehyun au, 00’ dream inserts

words: loading…

warnings: pure filth, oral, cum play, exhibitionism/voyeurism, degrading, humiliation, dacryphilia, shibari, unprotected sex

a/n: san francisco armory, das the setting lolol (thanks kink.com 🫡)

—

“okay, we’ll just have you sign this.” the producer with the name tag K said as he handed you a clipboard with a pen; the two of you sitting across each other in a large auditorium.

you were fidgeting the more you sat there in the middle of the “playroom”, excitement rising with every glance of the various s&m props placed on antique plaques. whether it was the torture rack, assorted floggers, or cattle prods, you couldn’t wait to try it all.

never in your years of living did you expect to be at an armory-turned-BDSM studio, preparing to do your first adult scene. yet here you were, only wearing a pair or your underwear, completely bare everywhere else.

the use of a National Guard armory was oddly fitting for the company—20th century Moorish Revival architecture, albeit refurbished, still gave a sense of “grittiness” and “rustic charm.”

“i know that you already submitted your online waiver but we just like to have an additional one for in-person. physical signatures are always preferred.” K snapped you out of your thoughts for a second, though your mind couldn’t help but drift back into the gutter, thinking yet again to your upcoming scene.

the single sheet of paper reiterated everything you read through just a week prior:

“Mission Statement and Company Values”

typical header to start a waiver…littered with the expectations to provide a “consensual and safe space for all participants.”

your eyes scanned further down, taking a few minutes to read their “Right to Distribute Media:”

“By signing here, you agree to having any and all media in your presence posted to our website Kink.com, with potential distribution to other pornographic partnerships…”

you provided your signature for the two spots provided, officially sealing the deal…

as soon as you handed the clipboard back to K, he spoke into his bluetooth earpiece, presumably notifying the other producers of your newly sealed fate.

“you guys are good to head this way.” he said before placing the clipboard on the floor next to his water bottle.

“in a moment you’ll be able to meet your partner, and go over the do’s and don'ts, that kind of stuff.” he said, followed by a closed-mouth smile.

you smiled back, trying to hide the anxiety creeping under your skin. there was no telling what kind of man would appear through the doors, meters away from where you sat.

you kept your eyes trained on the double-doors, tapping your leg up and down to pass what seemed like hours.

but then again, this was a four story building…maybe it was just taking them a while to get to where you were.

just as you looked down at your twiddling thumbs, the heavy sound of the double-doors echoed throughout the room. the man that appeared was unlike anyone you’ve ever seen.

he was gorgeous…

and he smiled as soon as he laid eyes on you. his dimples being the first feature that caught your attention.

he strutted towards you, confidence exuding with every step. he only sported boxer briefs, definitely nowhere near as self-conscious as you, now that you saw his toned body.

you tried not to make it obvious that you were eyeing his subtle six-pack. but it was hard. his body was perfect; not too overbearing, not too ordinary. still, his biceps and his quads showcased the work he put in to maintain his physique.

the last thing you could observe before he stopped in front of you, was his happy trail, leading all the way to the package he had confined in his briefs. he completely ignored K, standing right in front of his field of view.

your eyes slowly made their way to his face, still smiling so bright, with ivory teeth to match.

“hello, my name is jaehyun. nice to meet you.”

his voice was velvety deep, baritone.

another surprise to you.

jaehyun held out his right hand, but you noted the single platinum band adorned on his left ring finger…to your disappointment. your thoughts were outlandish, there’s no way you’d have a chance with him even if he wasn’t taken.

you returned the handshake, voice visibly shaken as you gave him your name.

“i’ll go ahead and let you guys have the floor. i’ll be back in 10.” K said with a clear of his throat. he then gave up his seat for jaehyun, making his leave towards the double-doors.

jaehyun looked back at the medieval-styled chair before sitting down, chiseled thighs growing in size once he found a comfortable position.

“so tell me a bit about yourself…”

—

//tagging: @pradajaehyun

[theofficersacademy]

                                        Leo   Farina   Sara   Rafal                               Poe   Tharja   Alcryst   Lucina   Edward                                   Knoll   Ares   Seliph   Ewan Erk

WEEK TWO: Everything You Thought You Knew TASK DURATION: Until noon EST on Sunday, January 14. From Jan. 14 - Jan. 15 : ██ ███ ████ ███ ███ ███ TEAM TAG: #AOtau2024

Let me tell you a story.

It started with happiness. Not perfect or idyllic by any stretch of the experienced mind, but to an inexperienced one, just that by virtue of ignorance, and innocence.

It led to injustice. To loss and to distance — out of misunderstood love, perhaps, if you're the optimistic sort. Misplaced guilt perhaps, if you're not.

Whose is this?

You could name a name, but you might find your own comes first to mind whether you intended it or not.

This is, after all, a story of the world at its dawning.

NIGHT IS SURE TO COME.　leo, farina, sara, rafal, tharja, lucina, knoll, ares, seliph, ewan, erk

what you know

you've woken up beside the rest of your missing teammates. rejoice, rejoice. though some of your allies definitely look worse for wear than when you remember them. you can only guess what they went through

poe, edward, and alcryst, however, are nowhere to be seen. there's an unspoken knowledge of what happened that hovers over those who'd last been with each of them

rather than separated, cramped areas, you all find yourselves now at the central, open area of a sprawling— complex? bewildering structures and open-faced towers rise high, high up both near and far, both fascinating and foreboding, showing some signs of wear and tear. some initial cursory exploration reveals a couple sections that resemble facsimiles of the places you'd just been: half-collapsed, tangled, dark corridors; a small, dusty library; a whimsical playroom. their size and scale seems more normal now, though. how had they been so large and maze-like before?  |  ref ref ref ( ignore the dolls but the rest of the vibe is on point, including the endless sky beyond )

and speaking of worse for wear, lucina, leo, and ares do not feel very good at all. those who knew about poe, edward, and alcryst's most recent condition may recognize similar symptoms. something might happen if lucina, leo, or ares use magic . . .

kleio was also present when you all awoke, recognizable to those who'd last been in the playroom. she explained that mother wasn't able to be here today due to being very busy helping to care for your father's far-progressed illness, but that she has left you with a few tasks she needs your help with. for some reason, this doesn't feel too surprising to you; mother has been around less and less lately. you haven't been able to find kleio since then

the world feels a little colder than you remember. lonelier. more distant. there is a sense of foreboding on the horizon, like ruin might be coming just around the corner. kleio had said that you were just overthinking things, that you shouldn't be worrying about things like that. but you can't shake the feeling of smoke and darkness, and the way everything and everybody you encounter is afraid to trust you, afraid to trust each other, thinking only of how to protect themselves

what to do

talk amongst yourselves. share what you know, or don't. decide the fate of lucina, leo, and ares — or take it into your own hands

forage for plants in the garden. mother wants x6 hammer tassels, x4 little fangs, x7 majestic blues, and x5 spotted ones

— roll D6 per post. recruit mastery grants 2 reroll chances 　　　･　1 : nothing is found 　　　･　2 : the garden distrusts you and lures you into a hazard. receive -0.5 HP. next person must spend their post freeing you 　　　･　3 : there's something hostile in the way! roll D3: 　　　　　　　○　1 : minor threat. spend your post clearing it 　　　　　　　○　2 : moderate threat. spend your post and the next person's post clearing it. all characters involved receive -1 HP 　　　　　　　○　3 : major threat. spend your post and the next person's post clearing it. all characters involved receive -2 HP 　　　･　4, 5, 6 : you've found x1 of a plant you're looking for. apothecary access grants x2. roll D4 to determine find from list above

purchase magic materials in town. the team begins with 600 obols to spend

— the materials mother wants: 　　　･　x3 powdered iph, at least medium grade 　　　･　x1 adderstongue, at least medium grade 　　　･　x5 decanters of endless water, any grade serviceable 　　　･　x2 whole lampito, at least high grade 　　　･　x1 stilled catalyte, at least high grade 　　　･　x1 engraver's ink, must be exceptional grade — roll D4 to determine the quality of seller you find. at C rank bow or above, add +1 to roll. 1 = low, 2 = medium, 3 = high, 4 = exceptional 　　　･　your team may decide to keep looking, but may roll only once per post — once you have begun negotiations, roll D4: 　　　･　1 : the seller charges you more than you budgeted for the item 　　　･　2 : the seller charges you within your means for the item 　　　･　3 : a lucky break! for whatever reason, the seller is eager to get rid of the stock, and doesn't charge you much for the item 　　　･　4 : something complicates the negotiation. feel free to come up with your own, or you may roll the list below: 　　　　　　　○　1 : a third party bids on the item, doubling its price 　　　　　　　○　2 : the item is stolen from right under your noses 　　　　　　　○　3 : the item's owner shows up, and will kill to reclaim it 　　　　　　　○　4 : something pulls the seller away urgently. they do not come back — once you have the item, roll D4 　　　･　1 : the item turns out to be counterfeit. start over 　　　･　2 : someone else spots that you have it, and they want it. roll D2 　　　　　　　○　1 : they're willing to buy it off you for 100 obols more than you spent. if agree, gain 100 obols and start over 　　　　　　　○　2 : they steal it from you. roll D2 　　　　　　　　　　— 1 : must spend the next post getting it back 　　　　　　　　　　— 2 : it's gone for good. start over 　　　･　3, 4 : you're fine

power and retrieve περιέργεια: artificial daylight ( requires 3 people; only 3 people may be doing this at a time )

— the team begins with 10 of each material: dark ore, ink sliver, star of evening, bog's breath — 1 person must mix the serum the machine asks for using the required materials.  　　　･　roll D5 per post: 　　　　　　　○　1 : purple serum — 2 dark ore; 1 ink sliver 　　　　　　　○　2 : blue serum — 2 ink sliver; 1 star of evening 　　　　　　　○　3 : gold serum — 2 star of evening; 1 bog's breath 　　　　　　　○　4 : green serum — 2 bog's breath, 1 dark ore 　　　　　　　○　5 : white serum — 1 dark ore; 1 ink sliver; 1 star of evening; 1 bog's breath 　　　･　if required materials are available, roll D3: if 1: serum failed and materials are wasted. if 2 or 3: serum created successfully — 1 person must craft materials. 　　　･　roll D4 per post: 　　　　　　　○　1 : dark ore 　　　　　　　○　2 : ink sliver 　　　　　　　○　3 : star of evening 　　　　　　　○　4 : bog's breath 　　　･　then roll D3: if 1: crafting went wrong, material not acquired; if 2: acquired material; if 3: acquire x2 of the material 　　　･　if reason C or higher: roll D4 instead: if 1: crafting went wrong, material not acquired; if 2: acquired material; if 3 or 4: acquire x2 of the material — 1 person must monitor and adjust the machine temperature. ( purple serum = hot. blue serum = medium warm. gold serum = medium. green serum = medium cool. white serum = cold )  　　　･　roll D4 per post. each point of dexterity grants 1 reroll chance 　　　　　　　○　1 : temperature overadjusted, artificial daylight explodes. all roll D20, 10 or below: receive -2 HP, factoring in defense 　　　　　　　○　2 : did not meet temperature requirement. failure 　　　　　　　○　3 : satisfactory temperature control. success 　　　　　　　○　4 : perfect temperature control. success, refund 1 material used. roll D3 ( D4 if white ) to determine which — both serum creation and temperature control must be successful to create 1 artificial daylight

ease your mind with preparations. there's no saying this bizarre place can offer anything to fend against a coming threat, but you may as well look

— roll D6 per post. each full rank in heavy armor grants +1 to roll. each unit with backup grants the party 2 reroll chances 　　　･　1 : nothing is found 　　　･　2 : you disturb something in the house you really shouldn't have. existing leads are reset. roll D20, 10 or below: receive -2 HP. each point of either avoid or speed adds +1 to roll 　　　･　3, 4, 5, 6 : you've found a lead. the next person must roll 3 or higher to continue it 　　　･　when cumulative 10 is reached, roll for what you find: 　　　　　　　○　1, 2 : planks of wood 　　　　　　　○　3, 4 : scrap metal 　　　　　　　○　5, 6 : magic residue 　　　　　　　○　7 : filament of light, raises max hp by 2, capped at natural hp 　　　　　　　○　8 : cold comfort, raises defense by 1 for one turn, consumed on use 　　　　　　　○　9 : will of resistance, raises resistance by 1 for one turn, consumed on use

search for restorative alternatives. with staves shattering and magic tenuous here, it may be a good idea to look into alternatives. kleio has pointed you to some research materials you might use to try your hand at an old-fashioned art called alkhemie

— roll D6 per post, each 0.5 points in magic adds +1 to roll 　　　･　1 : your efforts bear no fruit 　　　･　2 : the process blows up in your face, quite literally. existing leads are reset. roll D20, 10 or below: receive -2HP, factoring in resistance 　　　･　3, 4, 5, 6 : you're getting somewhere. the next person must roll 3 or higher to progress 　　　･　when cumulative 10 is reached, roll for what you get: 　　　　　　　○　1, 2: bandages, recover 1 HP per post for 3 posts, out of combat only, stops working if damage is taken 　　　　　　　○　3, 4 : ointment, recover 1 HP per post for 3 posts, out of combat only, stops working if damage is taken 　　　　　　　○　5 : tincture, recover 2 HP, out of combat only 　　　　　　　○　6 : diffused potion, all party recovers 1 HP, out of combat only 　　　　　　　○　7 : quick cure, cures most recent status ailment, usable in combat 　　　　　　　○　8 : combat salve, recover 4 HP, usable in combat 　　　　　　　○　9 : panacea, recover all HP, out of combat only

MORNING IS NOT AS CERTAIN.　poe, alcryst, edward

what you know

you've woken to an old and undisturbed must in your nose, to dust in the air and mundane silence. the skeleton of an abandoned house shelters you. at some point in the distant past it must have been an elegant homestead; now, it's faded, rusty, and peeling. |  ref ref ref

none of the allies you were just with prior to waking up are here. a couple new faces stirred beside you — others from among the thirteen you first set out with

some wandering has chanced you upon the house's apparent only other occupant: an individual with inhuman appearance. despite what must have been a startling encounter, they've proven nonhostile, if perplexed to find you here. after some time had passed, however, they eventually asked you to help them with a couple eclectic tasks. they've introduced themselves as poliades

which means, if they're here, and they're dead, then you must be . . .

. . . that unsettling thought aside, you all feel fine now, which must be a relief after fighting for your life, in some cases quite literally. your magic now works as you remember it too

poliades has warned you to take great caution in anything you do, only warning that being careless with your existence here has irreversible consequences to yourself and others

what to do

talk amongst yourselves. collect your bearings. share what you know, or don't

power and retrieve the nepenthe caskets ( requires 3 people )

— the team begins with 10 of each material: nepenthe ore, crystal intrusion, god's blood, light miasma — 1 person must mix the serum the machine asks for using the required materials 　　　･　roll D5 per post: 　　　　　　　○　1 : purple serum — 2 nepenthe ore; 1 crystal intrusion 　　　　　　　○　2 : blue serum — 2 crystal intrusion; 1 god's blood 　　　　　　　○　3 : gold serum — 2 god's blood; 1 light miasma 　　　　　　　○　4 : green serum — 2 light miasma, 1 nepenthe ore 　　　　　　　○　5 : white serum — 1 nepenthe ore; 1 crystal intrusion; 1 god's blood; 1 light miasma 　　　･　if required materials are available, roll D3: if 1: serum failed and materials are wasted. if 2 or 3: serum created successfully — 1 person must craft materials 　　　･　roll D4 per post: 　　　　　　　○　1 : nepenthe ore 　　　　　　　○　2 : crystal intrusion 　　　　　　　○　3 : god's blood 　　　　　　　○　4 : light miasma 　　　･　then roll D3: if 1: crafting went wrong, material not acquired; if 2: acquired material; if 3: acquire x2 of the material 　　　･　if reason C or higher: roll D4: if 1: crafting went wrong, material not acquired; if 2: acquired material; if 3 or 4: acquire x2 of the material — 1 person must monitor and adjust the machine temperature. ( purple serum = hot. blue serum = medium warm. gold serum = medium. green serum = medium cool. white serum = cold ) 　　　･　roll D4 per post: 　　　　　　　○　1 : temperature overadjusted, nepenthe casket explodes. all roll D20, 10 or below: receive -2 HP, factoring in defense 　　　　　　　○　2 : did not meet temperature requirement. failure 　　　　　　　○　3 : satisfactory temperature control. success 　　　　　　　○　4 : perfect temperature control. success, refund 1 material used. roll D3 ( D4 if white ) to determine which — both serum creation and temperature control must be successful to create 1 nepenthe casket

dredge the flooded cellars. poliades specifically has asked you to look for 3 items in particular: a porcelain coin-holder shaped like a pig, a spool of colorful thread, and a hand mirror

— roll D6 per post.  each unit with backup grants the party 2 reroll chances 　　　･　1, 2 : nothing is found 　　　･　3 : you should be more careful wading around. roll D20, 14 or below: receive -1 HP, each point of luck adds +1 to roll 　　　･　4 : you find a strange token 　　　･　5 : you find one of the list below. roll D#Remaining for which 　　　　　　　○　1 : tyrfing 　　　　　　　○　2 : exalted falchion 　　　　　　　○　3 : speed ring 　　　　　　　○　4 : prayer ring 　　　　　　　○　5 : nevermeltice 　　　　　　　○　6 : unreason 　　　　　　　○　7 : bohr 　　　･　6 : you find one of the list below. roll D#Remaining for which 　　　　　　　○　1 : pig-shaped coin holder 　　　　　　　○　2 : spool of colorful thread 　　　　　　　○　3 : hand mirror

IMPORTANT PLAYER NOTES. Please read!

There are no longer promises about what happens upon reaching 0 HP. 　

You are not required to make sure every task is covered or spoken for. That said, IC outcome of tasks may influence things within the narrative . . . As before, you are welcome to move your character around through tasks and teams organically throughout the week as befits them. 　

All other notes from Week 1 still apply. 　

If you have any questions or are uncertain how to proceed at any point, ping Mod Rai.

[teapottroubles]

I posted 726 times in 2022

That's 726 more posts than 2021!

331 posts created (46%)

395 posts reblogged (54%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@underworldslibrary

@shxkespexre

@leggosmanymuses

@cxnscience

@wxshxngstxr

I tagged 726 of my posts in 2022

#✧ you've been around too long... ( nymh ) - 314 posts

#✧here is the news ( feed/tl banter ) - 241 posts

#✧life letters ( threads ) - 136 posts

#✧stuff is way ( banter ) - 106 posts

#✧under my skin ( asks ) - 84 posts

#✧2econd 2ight 2eer ( illiterate/crack ) - 78 posts

#✧ you foolish thing. ( lobhadh ) - 56 posts

#✧verse: older than words - 49 posts

#✧ you've got mail! ( sprig ) - 40 posts

#✧cabinet man ( musings ) - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#✧ but tread the water child and know that meanwhile rises the moon ( ⚘rel; edward ( blxssoming )

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

They’re definitely not going to bite him, in fact, they don't even have mouths.     But they are making noises that sound like a pan flute to try and draw him near. 

15 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

#4

@leggosmanymuses​ said ❝  " reading  lights !  i  love  reading  lights .  they  are  …  great  for  reading ."   ❞

( from Wheatley)

“ You could have asked me to turn it on then, instead of being insistent on your fondness of them. “ Many a night was spent on the couch in the old farm house. Chell was out late, as per usual, so GLADOS and Wheatley were left to their own devices on the one rule of  ‘ don’t kill each other ‘    So, with a roll of her eyes, GLADOS pulled the chain on the lamp.

See the full post

15 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#3

@leggosmanymuses​ said ❝   “Nice day, isn’t it?” ❞

( from Sonic )

  Slight overcast, a nice breeze... Nymh had spent her morning making sure last night’s storm didn’t tear through her herbs too badly. She hadn’t even noticed the arrival of someone new to her forest!   “ Hello? “ Cue the ten foot tall forest spirit looking around.

See the full post

19 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

“ You’re telling me your husband DOESN’T just appear out of nowhere like a cartoon? “ 

“ Yee gods. “ 

19 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

  “ There we go, finally cleaned up the border... I may not be able to leave, but I can certainly make it nicer for those that enter. Goodness.  “

28 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[aprillikesthings]

I'm so envious of people who write fast and write easily. I can often picture scenes but then I go to describe them and there's just no way they'd work that way, or once it's in words it looks fucking dumb, or I can't find the words to describe the things I can feel and see in my head, and there are days it's like this monumental effort to get down ANYTHING.

But also: up until l literally 2016 I had convinced myself I couldn't write fiction at all! So part of me still believes it's all been a fluke and I will once again be unable to write fiction any day now. Which isn't true??? That's. Not how it works.

I only started writing because I'd fallen hard for Amethyst/Peridot in SU, and there was a tiny handful of fics in the tag. I wrote down a silly headcanon in narrative form and posted it before I could change my mind--and people liked it!

And then I had an idea for a story, and then another story, and then another one--and people liked them! I was writing for a tiny corner of the fandom, but anything new I posted got about 100-150 hits and a few dozen kudos in the first 24-48 hours, because that was the number of people obsessively checking the ship's tag and attempting to read everything.

(It's still funny to think about, but I wrote, like, a double-digit percentage of the explicit Amedot fics out there; which means that anyone who liked smutty stories of those two had likely at least attempted to read my stories!)

And then like a week after the first K/DA video came out, I managed to post the first explicit Akali/Evelynn K/DA fic, and shit blew up from there. I will never forget the :O of watching my hit count climb to 1000 in a single day. I kept refreshing the fic over and over and realizing: dozens of people are reading this. Right this second. While I sit here in my pj's. WHAT. THE FUCK.

For a few months? I think?, that first K/DA fic of mine was the third most kudos'ed fic for the entire League of Legends fandom tag!

(If you sort for the pairing/explicit/by kudos, I'm still on the first page; but definitely not top five, lol.)

I still think my K/DA fics are some of my best writing, but a huge reason for it was being in a very active server (...which I started) and constantly bumping ideas off of each other. Also if you're writing all the time you just get better at it!

I wrote a few things for Arcane, and what's wild is that one of them is my most popular fic by FAR, but so many people were reading Arcane (...okay, specifically CaitVi) fics that that one is nowhere near the top for that fandom, by any way of measuring things.

ANYWAY. I've said all this before.

But I'm hella out of practice writing fic. I mostly yell into the void here when I'm stuck on something, though I've been doing that less lately.

But I've never been a fast writer! There's been a handful of times I've managed more than a thousand words in a single day, and I know people who can do like 4k words per day on the regular, no problem.

And even the stuff I do write, these days I want to edit like fifty times before posting them. Mostly because my ability to spot issues in my writing is sharper than my ability to fix them, I guess? But also because I constantly change my mind on things.

I'm not going to lie: I knew I wouldn't get a lot of readers, I'm writing an au a lot of people don't care about four years after the end of the show. But it still sucks to see how slowly any of my numbers increase. I got hella spoiled back in the day; I took a screenshot of the kudos email after I posted the one explicit CaitVi fic I wrote because it was BANANAS. (And posted it to facebook to brag lol.)

But dammit, I want to tell this fucking story. I haven't even gotten to the good fun stuff yet; the stuff I'm really excited about that I've seen in my head a thousand times.

I keep refusing to let myself write it, out of fear I won't write the stuff in between, but I think I might sketch out some of my ideas anyway, just to help push me to write the stuff between now and then.

ugghghgh it's been nearly a week since I managed to write anything on my au fic but I got some words down finally

Dunno if they're any good but it's something

Writing them being apart, meeting new friends; all that shit--it's difficult!

But also once again I ended up googling shit like "what were school lunches like in the 1960's" (bad, but mostly bad in the same way home cooking was at the time--nothing fresh, lots of meatloaf and canned green beans and pints of milk)

[thingsthatbleedfic]

First, I wanna say that I absolutely love this fic. Chapter one and I'm already done for, hook line and sinker. The relationship between Alex and Danny that we've seen so far is both intriguing and endearing. I love how Alex just kind of coaches Danny through how to blend in, in a public space. It's just plain charming.

This fic hasn't even been out long and I've already re-read it multiple times

Just one chapter and I'm already obsessed. Hook, line and sinker doesn't even cover it. It's an incredible way to start the fic, just everything you guys have done. I can't wait to read more. I love the found family trope and to see this trio with that tag.. I just love it. I'm at the edge of my seat and can't wait to see more of Yassen interacting with the two.

I was also wondering though, from what you've said it sounds like you guys have made a lot of progress with this fic before you posted the first chapter. Maybe even finished it. So, I was wondering, if that's really the case, are you planning on posting on a schedule?

Sorry if that's rude 😅 I'm not trying to be

Thank you so much from all three of us! We were so happy to get this ask you have no idea asdfghjk We’ve been excited about this project for SO long, and so being able to share it and have people already, just with chapter one, be as excited as we are is unbelievably rewarding. 

One of the most exciting aspects of this project is the difference in life experience and skills. Alex coming from an intelligence background means he has so many practical skills that Danny just,,,, does not have. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, given the found family tag, the story is so central to the three of them and how their relationship to each other develops all while dealing with these large and dangerous life circumstances.  

Also, you’re right! We’ve made a decent amount of progress on the fic! While we started talking about this fic idea in November last year, we were in planning and concept stages for about four months before we made the official document and began writing in February of this year. 

However, good news and bad news I guess, depending on how you look at this, we are nowhere near finished with it! (like good lord, this is going to be a long fic.) At this point we have roughly five chapters written (still in need of further editing and streamlining). This is getting us to the middle-ish of this “arc”. My rough estimate, going by how things are progressing is going to be about 80-100k words for the first arc alone. This will be the first arc of many, and also only the first fic in a planned four part series. Our main sources of inspo for this fic are Phantom Of Truth and Shadow of a Doubt ( Series by Haiju) Of Madness and Mammals (series by Briarwitched) and The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea (By pongnosis). These fics should give you an idea of how long this fic will run.

As for posting on a schedule! At this point we don’t have a set schedule, no. We love writing this fic and are very dedicated, but we all have a lot of general life responsibilities going on that may get in the way. (We also have some other fics we are working on simultaneously) But we’ve discussed a goal of a new chapter per month, chapters so far ranging in length from 9k-11k words. So! We hope the wait is worth it!

Thank you so much for this ask! Stay tuned for more :D