#but sadly we might have to find an alternative;(((

[dulcegal]

GUESS WHO GOT THREE KENNEDY BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY:DDDDDD

[randomshyperson]

Heal - Scarlet!Wanda x Vampire!Reader - Kinktober #08

Summary: By freeing an imprisoned immortal from the Darkhold Castle, the Scarlet Witch did not expect to gain a friend who would help her heal the woman she tried to bury in the temple's wreckage. In return, Wanda might help you face the demons from your past that were locked away with you.

Warnings: (+18), service!top reader, praising, intimate smut, blood-feeding, vampire and witchcraft lore, and a lot of plot, implied depression and self-harming tendencies, really soft smut with explicit consent, mutual pining, friends to lovers | Words: 9.671k

A/N-> My only vampire reference is TVD, so expect many similarities to the show’s lore. And I repeat again that there is a sinful lack of stories that deal with the status of wizarding royalty of which Wanda is part. Please, she literally has the title of Queen of Chaos, her family has inherited the magic of chaos for generations, we need to talk about this. I hope you guys like this one, this story ended up having more depth than I expected and it was quite fun to write it.

General Masterlist | Kinktober Collection | AO3 | Wattpad

-&-

After destroying a thousand-year-old castle and not getting out of the impact zone, Wanda definitely didn't expect comfort. In addition to the pain of recent events, from realizing that she had finally become a villain, and was closer to the people who had destroyed her life than to the friends she once lost, she also had to see the clear fear in the alternative versions of the children she missed. So she put an end to it all, more tired than anything, and waited for the pain to go away. The blackout from the impact put an end to it, of course, and just like years before when she turned to dust after losing the only person she still had left, she breathed a sigh of relief into the darkness.

But Wanda woke up. And to her complete surprise, comfort came in the softest sheets she had ever felt, perhaps even more comforting than the expensive cloth Tony Stark had once bought for the rooms in Avengers Tower. The bed she was lying on could easily have been mistaken for royalty, and Wanda barely had time to become alert before a slightly unfamiliar face entered her field of vision.

"You." She gasped in surprise, her voice a little hoarse. Now conscious, she was aware of the pain around her body, but she could also feel her magic doing the hard work and taking the sensation away. You smiled gently and, without leaving your sitting position on her bed, waited for her to adjust to the mattress. Wanda frowned. "But why?"

You sighed, shrugging slightly. Now sitting up, Wanda realized that your lap wasn't empty. A breakfast tray was waiting for her as if you were aware that she would wake up soon and had brought the food just in time. The item was leisurely placed next to her, but Wanda continued to look at you, waiting for an explanation as to why someone who had disappeared almost the second after the first meet, reappeared to save her from the wreckage of her mistakes.

"I know you're confused, but please eat. You've slept for days, miss." It's your comment, but the witch shakes her head.

"Don't worry about it. It's... nowhere near the longest I've gone without food." The quiet confession about the period of darkhold abuse makes you sigh sadly, and Wanda feels a curiosity rise in her chest. You don't know her, so why do you care? 

Your hands move to the toast you've prepared for her, and Wanda bites the inside of her cheek as she finally notices the tray with your movements. Your breakfast choices are just right - delicious foods stare back at her. And you busy yourself with adding some jam to the toast that makes Wanda's mouth water.

"Forgive me for taking so long to find you, I was a bit overwhelmed upon returning after so long." You then declare, handing back the now-filled toast to one of the smaller plates. You push the item towards her as an invitation, but Wanda glares at you.

"Why did you bother coming back?"

Your eyes are kind in her direction. "I owe you my freedom."

Wanda chuckles short and incredulously. "Don't be ridiculous, I didn't even know what I was doing." She retorts immediately. "I saved you by accident, you don't owe me anything."

But you gesture to the food, and Wanda sighs in defeat, finally giving in. At the first bite, she feels the delicious jam on her tongue and sighs in satisfaction. It's amazing, she lets you know. You smile.

"It doesn't matter if our meeting was accidental, Wanda Maximoff." You state. "Your magic broke me out of my prison. If the idea of a debt doesn't please you, we can act as if upon rescuing you, I made us even."

Wanda hums with her mouth full, slightly distracted by the food. You look away, waiting for a moment, and she finishes chewing before speaking again.

"I didn't want to be rescued."

"I know."

She looks at you again, but you continue to stare straight ahead into the room. "Do you?"

You smile briefly. "Nobody who wants to live knocks down a castle on their head, miss."

The chuckle that escapes her is short, but it's the first sincere one in a long time. It's so dark, to joke about something so serious, yet she feels completely at ease doing it with you.

Wanda finishes another piece of toast before speaking again. "Do you remember the sorcerer who was with me before, when I freed you?" You meet her gaze, nodding in agreement. Wanda looks at you curiously. "He nearly shit his pants when he saw you running away from the temple. He tried to lecture me about it, and I dragged him out of there for it. But the point is... what did you do? He only told me your name. What was so terrible that your escape scared him so much?"

You sigh, getting up. Wanda imagines that she has offended you by asking and that you will leave without telling her the whole truth, and considers spying on your mind to find that out, but you just walk to the nearest drawers on the other side of the bedroom. When you return with an object in hand, Wanda wipes away the toast crumbs before accepting the item you hand her.

The old photograph makes her eyes widen. "Holy shit." She sighs impressed, getting a short laugh out of you.  Your picture wasn't a surprise, but the date from over three hundred years ago faded by the bottom. Wanda flipped the item to see the back, but your name there didn’t really explain how you were standing in front of her, as if no time had passed.

"Humans call us Vampires, but I've always liked the sound of Immortal better. Of course, the term vampire beats being called a demon or a bloodsucker." Wanda doesn't laugh at the joke, as she raises wide eyes in surprise at you. She continues to hold up the photograph, and you swallow. "I promise I won't try to harm you." Finally, she chuckles softly. You sigh in reassurance, even though the witch has just mocked your strength.

"I can't believe vampires exist." 

"Said the witch who traveled through the multiverse a few days ago." Wanda smiles, handing the photograph back to you. 

"Fair point." She murmurs. Restless, you wonder what you can do to improve her mood. She seems so sad.

Perhaps your stories could distract her. 

"I was imprisoned in Darkhold Castle a few centuries ago." You tell her, attracting her curiosity again. Your hands go into your pockets so that you can regain some ground over the full attention of such beautiful and mesmerizing irises. "There are other mystical authorities, apart from Kamar-Taj and its mages. In particular, a council of vampires. I disagreed with some traditions and was sentenced to imprisonment, but my capture was not quiet. Let's just say I earned that tomb you rescued me from, Miss." Wanda nodded in understanding, offering a small smile that ensured she wasn't judging you. It would be comical to do so, after everything that had led up to this moment. Adding to the count of her own crimes, she apparently unleashed an immortal mass murderer.

Wanda looks around, sighing softly. "I presume this place is yours."

You nod but look away from her. "Many of my properties were lost with my imprisonment. Taken back by the Council, or even stolen by other creatures. I'll deal with these usurpers later." The comment made Wanda bite the corner of her mouth. She'd never seen a vampire fight, and you seemed so sure of your own strength over anyone who stood up to you. It was attractive somehow. She pushed the thought away faster than it came. "Of course, you're welcome to stay as long as you need, even if I'm not around."

The statement makes Wanda chuckle in surprise, her cheeks slightly warm. "What? I can’t accept that. I will certainly not abuse hospitality-"

"Don't be ridiculous." You repeat her previous words with an easy smile, and the casual comment sounds different from your formal attitude so far that It's so charming that Wanda has to look away awkwardly, surprised by her own perceptions. "It's a pleasure to have you as a guest. And honestly, it's nice to have someone around after so long." The sincere confession makes her smile. Wanda understood loneliness well. You sigh. "There's enough room in this house. You can stay as long as you need."

Wanda nods. "How exactly did you get me here? And where is here exactly?"

"Northern Europe, but I'm not sure if the country's name remained the same as it was three centuries ago. And I didn't want to carry you so far from the castle, and I figured you didn't intend to return to Nepal and their Kamar Taj’s mages as well."

Wanda grimaces. "What do you mean with ‘carry me’?"

You chuckle slightly. "You were unconscious, Miss Maximoff. And buried under rubble when I found you. We don't have the same magical abilities,  so I can’t use the power of the mind to move objects or people. I picked you up, and brought you with me."

She needs to see this, and the invasion in your mind caught you off guard. Flashes of memories turn clear in your head, your figure pushing rocks out of the way until you find Wanda unconscious. You actually picked her up in your arms and started moving. At some point, you found a car, but good kilometers on the ice at high speed were walked.

Wanda leaves your mind with a sigh, and for the first time, you look upset.

"Please ask next time."

She's still coming to terms with the fact that you ran through the snow with her in your arms to apologize. "You walked half a continent for me?"

You shrug. "I ran, to be fair. Don't worry about that, it wasn't any trouble. My kind has enough strength and speed for a journey like that."

But the ease didn't detract from the significance of the attitude. Wanda could hardly remember the last time anyone had done anything for her - not even Vision, who was her partner, seemed to share any guilt when signing accords that wanted her in jail; And now a stranger was rescuing her at the end of the world just to bring her to safety, without expecting anything in return.

Her silence makes you clear your throat. "I'll give you some privacy. There's more food if you want it, and this is a suite, so the toilet is through that door. I've also taken the liberty of ordering clothes in your size while you’ve been asleep, they're all in the closet. The whole property can be explored, please feel free to do so. There’s a library and art rooms. And please, if you decide to leave, say farewell first."

Wanda smiles tenderly at your request, and you turn away. She finally realizes that you look very tidy, and calls out to you before you can leave the room.

"Are you going out?"

"Just for a few hours." You answer, frowning at the way her expression falls. "Is something wrong?"

Wanda sighs. "I just… don’t wanna be alone."

Despite the sympathy in your eyes, you hesitate. A hand on the doorframe. "Forgive me, miss, I promise I won't be long and that we can spend the rest of the day together." 

Wanda waves your concern away, starting to stand up. "Relax, I'll be fine, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your appointments. I'll explore the house while you're gone."

But despite her casual attitude, you call out to her with a certain seriousness that makes Wanda look at you again. There's something in your expression that makes it clear that you didn't buy Wanda's act at all, and that you can clearly see that she was being serious about her loneliness. Your eyes had a guilty aspect because you couldn't stay. 

You sigh, looking away as you explain: "I must feed myself, Miss Maximoff. Please don't think I'm avoiding your company."

She is slightly surprised by the confession and doesn't know exactly what to say about it. She decides to just nod, without the courage to question you further on the subject even though she's dying to know exactly in which way you're going to feed yourself.

And when you leave her alone, and she wanders around the huge rooms of that mansion, she can't help wondering where you are, if it's like in vampire stories, and you're in some alley cornering an unwary human, or if hunting animals is enough. She becomes so absorbed in her own doubts that when you return, she hasn't even finished seeing the whole place.

"Having fun?" Your question startles her slightly. She smiles, turning her attention away from the art paintings in the room and meeting your gaze again.

"You move silently."

"A talent we share."

Wanda chuckles and waits for you to approach her completely. Side by side, she is the first to speak.

"Everything here is very beautiful." She says softly. "And I may not be centuries old, but I'm no fool. It sounds too good to be true. Be honest, Y/N. What do you hope to get from me?"

You frown, taking one hand out of your pocket to gesture a little. "You have a suspicious nature, Miss Maximoff."

She snorts softly." Y/N..."

But you smile, and Wanda gasps softly because your hand moves to her face, a gentle touch to move a strand of hair out of the way of her eyes. "Not everyone wants to take something from you, Miss. Some people just want to give." Wanda ignores the intensity of your gaze, the quickening of her heartbeat, and raises her hand to grab your wrist and interrupt your intention to stroke her cheek straight away. Her eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion in your direction, although your smile never falters. "I could just force you to talk."

"There's no need for that, we can talk over dinner."

She hesitates, aware of the heat on her cheeks. You seem to have a personal victory and Wanda lets go of your hand immediately. 

"Wipe that smile off your face, it's not... that kind of dinner. We don't even know each other." She mutters embarrassedly. You return to your previous position, relaxed with your hands in the pockets of your dress pants and Wanda crosses her arms annoyed at the way her stupid brain keeps finding you more attractive every time she looks at you. 

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, miss." You retort humorously. "It's a strictly professional dinner."

She rolls her eyes, turning away to hide her smile from you.

"Just introduce me to the rest of the house."

"It's funny, all witches are always bossy." You comment, letting her gently pat your shoulder even though you could easily escape the gesture if you wanted to.

-&-

"I didn't know vampires cooked."

You chuckle, without taking your eyes off the knife cutting the vegetables. "Have you met many vampires?"

Wanda bites back a smile, rolling her eyes softly. "No, you're the first." She says, watching from the counter stool as you masterfully prepare dinner. "But I thought you guys didn't need to eat."

"We don't, not food at least." You retort gently, even though the implication makes Wanda's eyes sparkle with curiosity. You, despite being busy preparing the meal, notice the slight excitement and give a soft laugh. "If wished, my body can imitate all the biological functions it had before I died. This includes food." To illustrate, you take one of the cut pieces of carrot into your mouth, chewing and swallowing as you finish chopping the vegetables. Wanda bites the inside of her cheek, gathering the courage to ask you what she wishes to know.

When you pour the cut vegetables into a pot, she clears her throat. "Would it be insensitive if I asked how it happened?"

"Very." You smile back. Wanda sighs slightly, feeling like a little child trying to be liked. 

Please, please, notice me and talk to me.

The fire is lit, you wash off the excess vegetable stock and wipe your hands on a tea towel. You speak again.

"It's 2024, which means that in the winter it will be 320 years since my transformation." You begin a little nostalgically, your hands resting on the counter behind you. "Twenty was the age at which I died."

Wanda frowns. "You were so young."

"Yes, I was." You agree with a sad smile. "I used to work here, right in this mansion." Wanda adjusts herself, curiosity taking over completely. "I was raised by this family all my life, and when I fell ill, they decided there was no longer any place for me here."

The witch swallows dryly but doesn't interrupt your story. You look down, bringing your hands in front of your stomach to turn the larger ring you're wearing between your fingers.

"Sick servants would be sent away, so as not to spread the disease to the rest of the house. I died on the road."

Wanda frowns slightly. "Who bit you?"

"Bit me?" You retort in confusion. 

She chuckles awkwardly. "Yes, that's how it works, isn't it? Vampires bite humans and turn them."

It's your turn to laugh, a little impressed. "What? No, by the gods! Imagine how many of us there would be out there if every time a vampire fed, he turned someone? No, no, it's a bit more complicated." You comment casually. "You see, there's an immortality spell, created by the same author of the book that was with you when we met. Original vampires are made by ancient magic, and these can have bloodlines. Weaker vampires are transformed by their blood. And others can be created, even weaker by their descendants. The trick is to die with magical blood in your system so that your soul will be trapped by the magic and will not leave your body. It is then reanimated a few hours after we die. To complete the transformation, we must feed."

She absorbs your words for a moment. Until she finally asks: "Who transformed you?"

You lick your lips, shifting your eyes to the pot as if to confirm the cooking time, before turning away from the counter. "Come with me, I want to show you something."

She follows you around the mansion, way past the kitchen to another level. The entrance hall extends into a long corridor with many old paintings. Finally silver doors at the end.

"This is the main suite of the mansion." You clarify, fiddling with a bunch of keys kept in your pocket until now. Apparently, the only locked room was that one. "It's been adapted, moved from the upper floor to here on the lower level since, at the end of her life, the owner couldn't take the stairs."

Once unlocked, you push the doors open with both hands, exposing the immense royal suite inside. Wanda thinks it looks a lot like fantasy books and is busy admiring the decorations when she comes across a painting on the wall that knocks the air out of her lungs.

"What...?" She approached with uncertain steps until she was touching the painting with her fingers, groping for the drawing of a face that could easily be mistaken for her own. "How is that possible?" She demanded to know, turning to you.

You were still standing in the doorway, your hands in your pockets. "This is your ancestor."

"And why the hell does she have my face?"

"Heritage?" You retort good-humoredly, but Wanda snorts incredulously, advancing towards you angrily. You quickly raise your hands in surrender, a nervous laugh escaping as you see the fury in her eyes. “I’m joking, dear lord! I didn't mean to upset you. Let me tell you the whole story!."

"It better be a very good one." She retorts, watching you intently as if expecting a kidnap attempt.

You sigh, nodding before turning your face to the photo. "Her name was Elizabeth. She's gone if that's not obvious. This painting was done over four centuries years ago when your family was still known as the Maksymovs. They lived well, your ancestors, as you can see from the amount of gold in this manor. But sorcery and witchcraft were never very well-liked anywhere, and just like the rest of us, your family was hunted down." You say, stepping aside to open the curtains and light up the room. Still, on your back, you continued to talk. "I was just a little girl when Lady Maksymov took me in, Elizabeth’s mother. I cleaned and cooked, and I was lucky enough to be allowed inside the mansion. To share the room with the family. All due respect to their memories, but my Lady was not a decent person. She was cruel and harsh and preferred to die on the mountain of money than give a little to the children she watched depart for this place. I stayed here because I had no other choice in life, and when the neighbors began to question what she was doing in the basement, she was taken away just like her children.  And unlike her mother or any of her siblings, Elizabeth was not a very talented witch. Her magic was dormant. That poor woman, always so sad under the cruelties shouted at her by her relatives. She could never master chaos but it got better when she gave in to the darkhold's allure. Unfortunately for the servants, her gentle personality was gone once her magic control was improved. I remember her dark fingers chastising me every time I failed to fold the sheets correctly."

Wanda swallowed at the anger hidden. Your posture was enough for her to believe your words.

“Why did she turn you?”

You smile sadly. "I was just a means to an end." You reply. "Elizabeth was what they called a Siphoner. Although descended from a powerful witch lineage, she couldn't generate her own magic. She could only steal it from elsewhere, either from a magic book or from a vampire." 

Wanda sighs as she understands, and you chuckle in upset. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You weren't even close to existing back then."

She moves closer. "Still, on behalf of my family, I'm sorry." The witch says as gently as she can. "I can hardly imagine how painful that probably was."

You shrug, trying to be casual. "That was a long time ago, Miss Maximoff." You mumble before sighing. "And it didn't work out the way she wanted either. Elizabeth didn't intend to use me as her magical reservoir for so long. She wanted me to transform her. Make her a heretic, a vampire-witch hybrid so that she could steal magic from her own nature. And like a good servant, I did just that."

Wanda could feel the force of your painful memories with her telekinesis, flashes of vivid images in your mind begging to be relieved. A personal torture. 

"Let me guess, that was the rule you broke that put you in that tomb."

You lower your head, looking very upset all of a sudden. "No, Miss Maximoff. I was loyal until I wasn't anymore." Wanda frowns in confusion, but you sigh and stare at your own reflection in the window. "The abuse of the Darkhold destroyed Lady Elizabeth. Not even the spell of immortality could heal her, remove the rot from her soul. We traveled the world, searching for potions and creatures and anything we could find to help her, but I knew that the slaughter she was doing in the name of her own health had to be stopped. When our last trip ended, I told her I wouldn't help her anymore."

Wanda can see clearly now; the wrathful recollections of a witchy lady with an almost demonic appearance. The hold of the Darkhold on Elizabeth's soul. How you're only trying to defend yourself when you strike back.

You sniffle, turning your face away, and Wanda blocks your memories from her mind immediately.

"No greater dishonor than ingratitude." You mutter. "I shouldn't have turned my back on Elizabeth. She died alone in this empty mansion, taken by her illness. I returned to a rotten land wracked by dark magic. I restored every stone and raised the mansion to its original state. I lived as a vampire for a decade before I was captured. Elizabeth, in her last vengeful act, left a letter denouncing all her family's crimes to the magical authorities of the time. A lineage who survived the witch-hunts, chased by their own kind like animals. I wore the same coat of arms and slept in the family mansion, so they didn't care that my surname wasn't the same. But I wasn't a witch to die, and the darkhold refused to show the executors exactly how to kill me. The solution was a prison."

You're surprised that Wanda reaches for your hand, but you don't pull away. She also gives you a small smile.

"Three hundred years is too long to punish someone who had no choice." She says, the gesture of her thumb caressing your palm making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Definitely too long without touching someone was messing with your head. Little did you know, Wanda was going through something quite similar. Starved for physical touch. "Is that why you're being so generous? Do you think you owe this family a debt?" You swallow, nodding, and Wanda sighs. " Sweetheart..."

"Please let me serve you." Your tone is almost desperate, Wanda shakes her head. "Please-"

"This isn't the 1700s, Y/N. I won't be your lady." She assures you, her grip tighter. "You're a person, not a property."

"I'd be dead if it weren't for Elizabeth-"

"She was cruel and selfish, and she used you to your last breath. And beyond!" Wanda interrupts, not losing her composure when you huff impatiently and pull your hand away. "You can grumble all you want. I'm not going to honor the memory of some slave owner, family or not. You're free to go."

"But I don't want to leave, Wanda." You snap, almost pleading. "This is my home. Serving your family has always been... my purpose. Turning my back on it made me lose everything. And then you saved me, and for a second, I thought I could see Elizabeth again. I ran to this place, and I realized how much time had actually gone by." You sniffle, your hands going to Wanda's shoulders. "Please. Caring is the only thing I know how to do right."

Wanda sighs, her hands finding your wrists. "This isn't caring, Y/N, this is servitude. I would never ask this of you." Your expression falls as if you're being rejected. Wanda stops your hands from moving away. "But I could use a friend."

Your face lights up, and Wanda smiles too because she thinks you look so beautiful now. "Oh, that... is really very sweet. I'd be honored."

The witch chuckles. "You're adorable. Come, our lunch should be ready soon." She doesn't mention that you two walk into the kitchen hand in hand, and you don't mind, so you don't say anything either.

-&-

"I can't believe you don't know what McDonald's is."

"And I can't believe you've never been to the Opera, but here we are."

Wanda chuckles, shaking her head in disbelief at your response. You're sitting on the living room floor, or rather on cushions on the carpet because you refused to sit so informally and she was still working on getting you to relax into the casual way of living life in that century. 

Weeks into a roommate routine, your activities consisted of having meals together and talking about everything and nothing at the same time. You'd spent 300 years imprisoned, and Wanda had a multitude of things to introduce you to, while you'd been raised by the ancient witch family of the ancestors of a woman who knew little about her origins. You had as much to tell as she did.

Most days when you two would leave the Mansion, you would experience things that you had never experienced before. Restaurants, food trucks, and even the invention of cars or electricity. The Mansion needed to be restored too, but Wanda was happy to know that it hadn't been abandoned.

It was magically hidden, and she had distant cousins from very old marriages in her distant line. It was one of the best pieces of news she'd ever received - to know that she wasn't the only Maximoff left.

The Manor had been cared for over the centuries by escape witches, some of whom, like Elizabeth, had their powers dormant and lived normal lives under that roof. Until the place was finally inherited by her great-aunt, Tatiana, who was living in New Orleans, and Wanda would visit once the work on the mansion was finished.

She had no idea where you got the money for a whole restoration team, and you laughed when she asked, offering as an answer only the information that vampires can persuade people.

That's how you ended up on the living room floor, finishing gathering old belongings that needed to be protected from the paint restoration and set-up of that chamber.

"It's nice that some things have been preserved so well." She comments, stealing a quick glance at your figure distracted by sorting letters. You look good in this century's clothes that Wanda helped you pick out. The barely buttoned plaid shirt makes Wanda hold her breath every time she catches herself letting her gaze fall to your collarbone. 

"Rich families often treasure stuff." You retort with an easy smile. You stack a few letters before opening the next box of items and gasp slightly when you find something very valuable inside. "Look, I think you'll want to keep this."

The small item is placed in her palm: A gold button with an "M" engraved on it. The family crest. Wanda doesn't know why, but it makes her eyes water, and she gives you a tearful smile as she thanks you.

But despite this balanced relationship and pleasant routine, there was still the elephant in the room.

Every evening, you went out to feed yourself. For almost two months, Wanda didn't ask any questions. Even though she was dying to know exactly how, or even who.

But she didn't want to be invasive or even sound like someone obsessed with your fangs.

She would wait for some casual moment to bring up the subject. Perhaps at the next dinner party, with a joke, and then she would ask if you could show her how it was done.

Luckily for her, another witch was even more interested in the story.

Tatiana was an expert enchantress. She lived in an apartment in the heart of New Orleans and had a very busy pub, and to no surprise, frequented mainly by mystical beings. It was Wanda's first time in a place of that kind.

She was so excited to meet another member of her family that she almost forgot her last worries. It was her aunt, in between many colorful drinks after an afternoon of introduction, who brought up the subject again.

"So tell me, sweetie, all this work to restore the Maximoff household. It must be exhausting even for a vampire." Tatiana began with a smile. Her curly hair fell in waves down her back, and for the third time that night, Wanda noticed that green eyes were probably the only physical feature that most of the Maximoff women shared. Her aunt has a dangerous smirk on her lips as she looks in your direction, and Wanda swallows dryly as she realizes that it's the flirtatious kind. "We allow feeding in these parts."

You're taken aback. You chuckle awkwardly, aware of the two witches' attention in your direction. The crowded bar seems to get even smaller.

"I'm fine, Tatiana, don't worry." Wanda thinks you're lying. You can never maintain eye contact when you do, and she also often finds it charming how a vampire can be so bad at telling lies. "I had some blood before I got here-"

"By Morgana, that was several hours ago!" Tatiana cuts in, gesturing excitedly to the waiters. She was very happy to meet Wanda too and had been drinking since early morning in celebration. "You know, I used to date a vampire back in the last century. He had a restricted diet of animals and always looked pale and hungry. Are you one of those vegetarian vampires too?"

The question is rhetorical, she doesn't even hear your confused mutter "I don't think vegetarianism works like that". She's busy with the waitress, whose irises redden as soon as Tatiana speaks to her. The girl is younger than everyone else there and is clearly bewitched.

"There you go, dear, you can have a taste." Offers the woman, to which you choke in surprise.

"What? H-here? But..."

"Now, don't you act like a good Samaritan, Miss L/N." Tatiana retorts in a provocative tone, resting her chin on one hand. "I know what you got up to before you were imprisoned. Feeding off a waitress is nothing."

You're immediately crestfallen, your face flushing with shame. Wanda looks at her aunt with irritation.

"Don't talk to her like that." The younger witch says sternly. "'She's already received enough of a punishment.

Tatiana chuckles wickedly, tilting her head gently. A very familiar gesture indeed. "Let's get a few things clear, Wanda. The only reason I didn't rip that usurper vampire's head off the moment she set foot in my town was because she brought my niece back to me. The fighting separated our families, I never knew I had nephews. Do you think you would have joined that group of dressed-up Americans if I'd known you were a genuine Maximoff? No, dear, I would have raised you. Restored our coven, taught you magic, as it should have been. As it would have been if this ungrateful little blood-sucker had fulfilled the role she was given. Every spell has a price, and she didn't pay for this one she so boldly displayed for a decade of fortune-raising."

"I regret it very deeply, miss-"

"No, you don't apologize for any of this." Wanda interrupts you with a gentle squeeze on your wrist under the table. With a serious expression, she faces her aunt. "Let's actually get things straight, Auntie. You don't talk to her like that. Ever. You're not going to use something that happened three centuries ago against someone who has spent all this time imprisoned in a tomb, paying for crimes she didn't commit alone. It seems that witches, especially from this family, have a habit of evading accountability. I know that well." Tatiana gives a little smile, clearly aware of Westview, or what came after. Wanda doesn't hesitate. "She's my friend. And she's been through enough. All she's done since she came back is look after me, and I'm not going to accept this kind of treatment from anyone, not even my blood. And considering history, especially my blood."

Without contradicting, Tatiana nods in understanding, busying herself with lighting one of the cigarettes on the corner of the table. The colorful smoke wafted upwards as she finished a long drag.

"As you please, Scarlet Witch." The elder woman finally replies, and you swallow dryly, stealing a glance at Wanda to see if she might lose her temper at the slight challenge in her aunt's tone.

Damn, you'd forgotten how the Maximoffs had a rather dangerously weak ego to offend, especially if challenged.

But luckily for you, Wanda forced a smile, and the tension at the table eased. Tatiana dismissed the waiter with a nod and went back to talking about business in the city as if nothing had happened.

For the rest of the evening, Wanda drew patterns on the palm of your hand under the table.

-&-

Around midnight, when the desserts were finished but the bar seemed livelier than ever, you felt really hungry.

The witches were engaged in animated conversation about the times in Sokovia, how Tatiana missed the opportunity to find out about the Maximoffs after the surname grew more common around the country for a few years before disappearing again, and you used the opportunity to escape for a few moments.

A quick snack, just to satisfy your hunger. After all, you always kept yourself full around Wanda; you'd never forgive yourself if you lost control around her.

You make your way through the crowded bar, taking one last look at the back table before making your way to the exit. You're almost at the door when someone purposely bumps into you.

"Hey, better watch where you're going." Warned the corpulent fellow; he was at least ten centimeters taller and had a strong distinctive smell that caused you an instant anxiety. 

Wolf scent.

"Sorry, I didn't see you." You mumble, ready to bypass him, but he steps in your way again. 

"We don't like strangers around here." He informs you with a small smile, showing off his canine fangs. "You're lucky we have our orders, miss."

You sigh slightly. "Who are you again?"

"The name's Victor Creed, but everyone calls me Sabertooth. You know, because of these little beauties here." He points to his fangs with conviction. "They grow much bigger during the transformation. I once ripped the head of one of your kind with them." The story is clearly told to intimidate you, but your unimpressed expression makes the man clear his throat. "Don't go wandering around, Tatiana can't protect you on the outside."

You force a smile. "I can take care of myself, wolf, don't worry." You move around him to finally leave, but even with his back turned, Sabertooth laughs.

"Alright then, go for a walk while I introduce myself to your little witch. Do you know if the Scarlet Witch is looking for better watchdogs? If she's as stuck-up as the rest of the family, maybe I'll write to Kamar Taj about where she's been hiding."

The thing is, maybe you've spent too much time with the Maximoffs all your life. And your temper is just as bad as theirs.

Victor has barely finished his teasing, and you've already grabbed him by the arm, mashing him into the ground like a lump of flour. The commotion immediately attracts the attention of everyone around, but until the crowd fully identifies what's going on, Victor has already used his wolf-like speed to get to his feet and advance on you.

He's so confident about his own strength that it takes him a whole moment to realize that your fist has already gone through his chest.

"Give me one good reason not to spread your guts on this floor, Mr. Creed." You say with an unwavering expression, your hand clenched around his barely beating heart.

Victor chokes on his own blood, his muscular hands try to push your shoulders back, but you don't move an inch. He grunts in pain.

"I-I take it back." He gasps, but you squeeze a little harder.

"That's not a reason."

The man breaks down in a sob. "P-please. I'm begging you. I wasn't thinking-"

It would be so easy, just to kill him. Rip the heart out of that arrogant wolf and let him drop. You never forgot the feeling, the predatory hunger for blood and violence burning in your veins. Nor Elizabeth's disappointed look every time you ended up covered in blood and it didn't do any good.

Letting go of the heart, and pulling your hand out, you saw Victor's wound heal immediately. A full moon must have been just around the corner for a wolf to heal so quickly.

His release drew your attention to the rest of the pub. All those people, watching the scene with mixed expressions of horror and disbelief on their faces. Some clearly recognized you, others seemed surprised to witness a werewolf of that size being beaten so easily.

Vitor's blood stained the blouse Wanda gifted you, and you swallowed down the urge to vomit.

While you were trying to recover from the interaction, a duo cut through the crowd, and Tatiana's short giggle made you wince.

"Keep her in line, Wanda. We don't make a mess this close to humans in this neighborhood." The witch warns but Wanda is staring at you in complete mesmerization. You shake your wrist gently, letting the excess blood drip onto the floor before you start to move.

The adrenaline of the confrontation has starved you.

-&-

You barely enter the first alley before Wanda catches up with you.

"Where are you going?"

But you don't answer the question, you just keep walking and retort: "Go back inside, I won't be long."

For a moment, you think she'll obey, but how foolish of you. Wanda was probably the most stubborn Maximoff you've ever met.

She almost gives you a heart attack when she appears in your path, making you jump backward.

"What the hell...?"

"You're shutting me out." She declares, frustrated. You swallow dry, shaking your head.

"No, I'm just going for a walk to clear my head. See you at the apartment-"

"Taking a walk is what you're calling it now? I'm not an idiot, I know you're going to feed." Wanda interrupted annoyed, getting in your way and stopping you from fleeing. "Why do you keep trying to hide this part of yourself? I don't care that you're a vampire."

"Wanda, please, just move."

"No."

"Wanda."

She crosses her arms. "I wanna watch." 

You choke, chuckling nervously. "Excuse me?" 

But she doesn't lose her cool, nodding. "I want to watch you feed on someone."

Wanda imagined some reactions to the suggestion: anger, indignation, mockery. She didn't think you'd turn so clumsy, with rosy cheeks and unable to look her in the eye.

"You're a very odd individual." You mumble shyly, and she has to giggle confusedly, losing her serious pose to adjust the collar of your blouse. 

"Pleaseee." She stretches out the word, liking the way a smile breaks across your lips or especially the way you stare at her mouth when she talks like that. "I'll behave. I'll just stay put and watch. I've never seen it happen before. Please, honey? Just once."

You sigh in defeat, and Wanda taps her hands before jumping on your neck, and hugging you excitedly. It's a very difficult struggle to keep your fangs away with her so close.

It doesn't even last half a minute, but it feels like an eternity because you want to feed and everything always moves slower if the vampire focuses on hunger. 

"It's not going to be anything special, I don't want to cause a scene in your aunt's neighborhood." You let her know, thinking you need to talk a bit to push the dizziness away.

Wanda smiles excitedly. "Anything will be great, darling. Come on, I'll be right behind you."

It's easy to find prey in a place like New Orleans. You end up deciding on a restaurant waiter, isolated in one of the alleys. He's a young adult, distracted by chores, and you almost give up because of the smell of garbage so close by. But it's a very good isolated opportunity to waste like this.

Your fangs are already out when there's a noise behind you.

Wanda has bumped into something, loud enough to attract the boy's attention, who is startled by the two figures in the alley. One glimpse of your vampiric appearance and he's stumbling frightened away before starting to run.

You sigh incredulously, and Wanda appears in your field of vision.

"Sorry, it was..." She falls silent, surprised that you haven't gathered your usual looks and absorbing every detail of your face now. From the fangs to the completely darkened eye sclera. When she speaks, her voice is much huskier. "An accident."

"It's okay, it actually tastes better when they're scared." You shrug. "The adrenaline and fear accelerates the heart which pumps fresh blood throughout the body. That's why so many vampires prefer to hunt at night. People are more afraid of the dark than they think."

Wanda chuckles, looking at you in a way that makes you forget about the boy's footsteps becoming too distant to distinguish from the other sounds of the city.

"You're kind of a vampire nerd." 

"I don't know what that word means." You give a confused laugh and Wanda moves closer.

"It means I think you're really cute." She retorts, making you gulp dryly. Her hands find your shoulders, and Wanda gets close enough for you to count her freckles. "And I'm dying to know how these little ones feel, darling. Do they hurt?”

She's too close for you to focus, but you make an effort. "Hm, just a little, when they come out. They usually only bother me when I'm really hungry."

Wanda's fists cross together behind your head, and she's definitely too close for you to think about anything other than her.

"And how hungry are you now?"

"Very, Miss Maximoff." You confess hoarsely. Wanda smiles mischievously, tilting her neck in your direction.

"Well, I think you should have a little taste."

"God, Wanda." Your eyes close on instinct, your face falling forward so that you sink into the gap in her collarbone. Wanda shudders, as affected as you are. Her hands-free themselves so that she can stroke your arm, as a reassurance that everything is all right, and also caress your hair because apparently everything so far hasn't been maddening enough for her.

Every cell of your spirit begs you to sink your fangs into the warm skin in front of you, to drink every drop until Wanda faints against you, but you fight nature itself with her help. Her soft sighs in your ear, assuring you that she trusts you.

"It'll only be a little bit, I promise." You assure her, licking the spot gently and drawing a deep sigh from the other girl. It's the sound you focus on before you take the first bite.

Wanda tenses at the slightest hint of pain, but another sensation takes over elsewhere. Her cheeks burn with the betrayal of her own body, and she finds herself unable to care about the mild pain while she's throbbing between her legs.

Her nails dig into your biceps, and she starts to squirm under you, surrendering to the sensation of your bodies so close together. You hum in satisfaction at the soothing of your hunger, and Wanda drops her hand to your waist.

"Enough, baby." She whispers the request, her nails scratching the hair on the back of your neck. "I'm starting to get dizzy."

You hold on a little tighter, and Wanda softens against your body. Her heart is pounding, and she is aware of her pathetic underwear situation. Your body heaved forward, and Wanda didn't have the strength to resist any pull. She feels her back hit the wall of the alley, and whimpers at the feel of your leg pressed between hers.

She doesn't think she has ever been so at someone's mercy as she is now. She just wants to tell you to help her relieve the pressure between her legs, but every time she tries to call you, what leaves her lips are needy moans.

And you kept feeding and the surroundings began to darken. Wanda only realized that she'd been grinding herself on your thigh all this time because her climax approached at high speed, and falling off the edge brought a momentary recovery of consciousness.

"Oh, God, detka!" She meows, spilling herself on your thigh. Her body spasms softly, and you tense up, stopping your feeding immediately. Wanda falls limp in your arms, trying to fuck herself stupidly even after the orgasm she's just achieved. Your arms are the only support keeping her upright. "Do that again."

You shake your head, pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. "No, I took more than I should have." You retort softly, and Wanda has to blink a few times to realize that your appearance has returned to normal. "What a terrible idea that was, Wanda. So dangerous… I was starving."

She gives you a dreamy little smile. "How do I taste?"

"The best I've ever had." You assure her before adjusting her to hold her in your arms just in time for Wanda to lose consciousness.

She dreams of the same feeling of being carried but in a place much colder than New Orleans.

-&-

She wakes up just in time to see you putting her to bed, all the way to the borrowed room in her aunt's empty apartment.

Wanda grabs your wrist before you can pull away after putting the covers over her.

"Hey." Your voice and gaze are so sweet that she almost forgets everything that has happened so far. But Wanda actually remembers very well, and the lingering sensation of your body against hers makes her shiver. 

"Hey... sorry for blacking out on you." She murmurs, her free hand coming up to your face. You bite your lip, still hovering over her body and uncertain what you should do next. Should you pull away? Lean in and kiss Wanda like you've been dreaming of doing for weeks? She seems to be able to see all the hesitation in your eyes, and offers a reassuring smile, her hand caressing your cheek. "What's wrong?"

Wanda is definitely teasing you, but you don't mind, smiling too as you steady your hands next to her body on the mattress, face to face, the two of you waiting for the other to make a move first until the tension is almost unbearable. But you also remember what brought you there, and let out a small sigh.

"You shouldn't have baited me like that, Wanda. It's dangerous, I could have... lost control."

Her expression becomes almost mischievous, a smile threatening to break out on her lips. "I've survived much worse, darling."

You sigh in frustration. "Wanda..."

"It's the truth." She chuckles even though you move away to sit down properly. Wanda also mimics the gesture, looking for your hand on the bed so that you stop grimacing and look at her. "Hey, come on, don't be upset."

"I'm not."

"Then why the pout?" She leans in, kissing your cheek and you snort away, unable to stay angry with this adorably charming witch. "You have to trust me, sweetheart." She whispers, kissing your jaw. You sigh, squeezing her hand gently.

"I trust you with my life, Wanda." You let her know in the same tone, intertwining your fingers in her lap. Wanda smiles against your skin, chaste kisses trailing from your jaw to your collarbone. "I'm just scared... that one day, I'll lose control and hurt you. I'd never forgive myself."

She pulls away a little to look you in the eye. "I meant it what I said before." Starts the witch. "I've been through much worse. You weren't there to see... what I did to reach that little girl. You don't have to worry about hurting me, because it doesn't matter, I'll always heal." With your hesitation, she pulls further away to push the collar of her shirt aside and let you see the place where you fed on her a few minutes ago. "Look, it's gone. You have to trust me, darling. I know that the idea of anyone being stronger than an original is hard for you to accept, but believe me, I'll be fine. I'll always be fine, even if you are starving and out of your mind."

You grimace, adjusting yourself so that you can hold her by the waist and place her on your lap. "Just because you're going to heal doesn't mean I can hurt you. You deserve kindness, Wanda. I can give you my best." Your mouth meets hers, it's not a hungry kiss but it's a hot one and it takes Wanda out of her orbit. It's been a while since the last time, and well, it's never really been like this. She struggles a little to find her rhythm, for a short moment just panting against your experienced tongue, until she finally responds in an equally passionate way that makes you sigh and press your body to hers. 

Wanda likes the sound. Wanda likes you.

"Can I take off your shirt?" Your request comes between one kiss and another, she hardly answers because her mind is clouded with arousal, and if she could be honest, she would have been out of her clothes a long time ago. 

"Yes, please." She gasps back, anxious hands tracing your back. Wanda is restless under your touch, shy about your gaze once the clothes come off. But you do everything with an unbearable slowness that leaves her squeezing her thighs together in search of relief. 

She had sex before - For the first time in a war-torn adolescence, an experience that was forgettable and almost regretted. And then with a machine man who could pretend but never had the biological need to do so. 

This moment right now was like no other, being with someone who worshipped her body, who was as breathless as she was, who reacted to her touch and was practically at her mercy when she touched the right spot.

And Wanda finds that she loves it. Having you touch her and touch you back, and feeling your fangs scratch her skin every time she thrusts her hips into yours.

Pinned against the bed, naked as you are, your legs entwined together like your bodies. Sighs of pleasure mingle with the dance of your hips, and Wanda digs her nails into your back as your fangs press into her collarbone. 

You drink less than last time, but her legs still tingle. Or maybe it's the orgasm hitting her hard.

This is different from the first - the whole bed vibrates with the wave of magic that escapes the witch with her back arched. You hold Wanda, even though you're also shaking with the force of your own climax. She initiates the next kiss this time, moaning into your tongue as she spins your bodies around with ease. Your hands entwine together at the top of your head, but Wanda lets go, lowering herself and getting a confused sigh from you.

"What are you up to, little witch?"

Then it occurs to her with your expression that you are four centuries old and have spent much of this time as a prisoner and that perhaps you haven't been so confident because Wanda is your first lover.

She looks back up, sitting on your hips, breathing out of rhythm but now with a new excitement shining in her eyes.

"Babe, be honest... have you ever been with a woman before?"

Your face gains a deep color, and you turn your gaze away. Wanda falls hard, even if it doesn't occur to her yet.

She giggles softly and you're even more embarrassed, but she doesn't let you move away, her firm legs holding you in place.

"Don't make fun of me." You mutter, and Wanda snorts softly.

"Never." She assures you, even though she already has a new dozen antics memorized. Her mouth kisses your jaw and goes down like her body. The color in your cheeks is for another reason soon. "I love being your first. I want to make you feel good."

You hesitate to hold her when she's stimulating you, worried about losing control of your own strength. The sheets are destroyed when Wanda flicks her tongue over your breasts, smiling with delight at the sight of you squirming.

She goes lower and you gasp for air. "What... are you doing?" You ask mortified. It's not the 1700s anymore, you have to remember. Female pleasure is, well, taken into account. Wanda bites the inside of your thighs, watching the muscles twitch for a moment.

"You'll love it, I promise." It's the only thing she says before diving in, her hot mouth pulling all the air from your lungs. It's the most wonderful thing you've ever felt. Wanda's tongue works on your most intimate part, teasing your entrance before she starts to eat you out hungrily. You grip the headboard, your eyes closed tightly. Wanda holds your legs open, and the knot in your stomach starts to become impossible to contain. 

The witch seems to like it too. She moans for your taste on her tongue, and the new vibration pushes you over the edge. Wanda holds your spasming body without difficulty, you think she uses magic for that. And still calming down, it takes you a whole moment to stop seeing stars.

Wanda licks up every drop of your pleasure, moaning softly before meeting your gaze again. You can't hold it, and end up covering your reddened face with your arm while ignoring the smug giggle of the witch who begins to climb your body again.

"Don't be shy... you look so pretty when you moan my name." She praises you provocatively, and you can't help but smile, feeling completely relaxed. Wanda waits for you to look at her again, her arms resting on your shoulder so that she can look at you closely. "Hi."

Your hand finds her cheek. " Hi, yourself." She leans into your touch, her smile filling your chest with warm happiness. Wanda sighs.

"Can we stay like this? Just for a moment." She asks quietly, and something in her gaze tells her that the question isn't just for today. Wanda wants to know if you can be with her.

You would. Forever if she wished. "Of course, little witch. For as long as you want."

[kairiscorner]

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

no but like, he would be a cat person.

can we keep it? — miguel o'hara x reader

summary: you met the love of your life in an alternate universe, and when you laid eyes on it for the first time, you knew it was true love. though miggy was the only hurdle to your love with it, but of course, as is with all things, he lets you have your way and love it wholeheartedly. and maybe, just maybe... he comes to love it with you, too. word count: 772 a/n: i am so fucking terrified of cats BUT THESE KITTENS ARE CUTE, i might never hold one though willingly........... sadly..............

your eyes were big, bright, and hopeful. you wanted to express your absolute need to have it, to bring it home, to love and pamper it with all your heart and never let it fend for itself in the rain anymore, but of course— "no." he answered in a monotonous voice as he scrolled on the screen of his watch, setting coordinates back to HQ. you held the poor, wet kitten in your hands, bringing it closer to you. you had only known this kitten for 2 minutes, but you felt like those minutes were 2 lifetimes already. "please mig! c'mon, spider cat hates me, this kitty's in love with me, and i love it, too!" you pleaded as miguel opened up a portal back to earth-928 and stepped forward to enter it; however, you grabbed his wrist and tugged him back out. he sighed and glared at you, barely turning his head around. "do i need to remind you i don't necessarily give a damn if a cat likes you or not?" he asked you sarcastically.

"well, no, but... just look at it! look!" you cried out as you let go of his hand and cupped the kitten with both of your hands. miguel refused to let this tomfoolery play out any longer, so to get you to shut up, he reluctantly turned around and faced the feline. though to his surprise... the kitten's eyes were as big and sweet as you described them. they seemed to be in a constant pleading state, pleading miguel to let it come with you both. "miggy, oh, please! let me come home with you..." you said in a high-pitched voice as you moved the kitten around, imitating it.

"i'll be a good kitty and stay out of trouble! i'll poo in the right litter box, i'll be loved to bits by my new best friend who's much cooler than you, but that's besides the point!" you said as you acted like the kitten, with the kitten poking its tongue out as you shook it around while imitating it. miguel sighed as he waved his hand dismissively and turned around. "...you promise to take care of it?" "yes." "take responsibility for it?" "yes." "use your own money to feed it, give it water, proper housing, its shots, checkups, medicines, and such?" "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes." "then fine. just keep it out of trouble, do not bring that furball near me, and shut up on the way back." miguel said as he stepped inside the portal, with you giggling and cheering as you finally had a kitty friend with you.

by the time you returned to HQ, you showed everyone your new best friend, your kitten! everyone was fawning over it, albeit spider cat couldn't care less, your kitten stole everyone's love and hearts. even lyla had ranted to miguel that he should have made her a life-sized vessel for her to be able to pet it, but miguel merely grumbled at her complaint. "it's just a cat." he said as lyla raised her eyebrow at him. "yeah, a cat that stole not only everyone's hearts... but theirs, too. they did find that cat first, so guess you lost to a cat of all creatures." lyla quipped as miguel felt embarrassed about, well... losing your attention and love to a cat.

not that he was gonna admit yet, of course; you were happy with the cat, who was he to hinder you from being happy? though he kinda wished that— "i wish i was that cat." miguel whispered under his breath as lyla leaned in closer. "what?" she asked, but miguel turned away with a sigh. "nothing." he said as he turned away from his desk and hopped down from his platform to leave his office. he got to the doors, when suddenly— "i wish i was that cat," those six words made miguel halt in his tracks as he heard his own hushed voice reverberate throughout HQ. miguel felt his face grow hot and his eyes widen as the door opened and... you were there, with the kitten in your arms.

"uh, hi mig." you said awkwardly with a nervous smile as miguel got super flustered now, knowing you heard that announcement loud and clear. "and for the record, yes, he means that cat." lyla clarified as she logged off before miguel could tear her displayed image apart. well, he has some explaining to do... never though you'd live to see the day miguel o'hara of all people would be jealous of your cat, but that's a story for another time.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @ophanimgold @arachnoia @fiannee @fictarian @yuridopted0 @jrrantss

[beskarandblasters]

Din’s First Christmas

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Main Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist

Author’s note: From my (simpleton) understanding, Life Day is typically for Wookies only so I just decided to make this an AU where Christmas is in Star Wars!

Summary: In an alternate universe where Christmas exists in Star Wars, you and Din crash land on a snowy planet. While you’re there, you take a walk into a local village and find out that it’s Christmas, but it’s also Din’s first Christmas. So you decide to show him all of the traditions and give him his first Christmas present ever.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, established relationship, canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), AU (Christmas in Star Wars), takes place when Grogu is with Luke and when Din is an apostate, discussions of holidays traditions/religious customs, references to intimacy issues, angst to fluff to smut, Din wears a chain 👀, oral sex (F receiving), Din is a MUNCH, super loving and romantic sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, use of Mando'a words/phrases (Cyar'ika = sweetheart, Mesh’la = beautiful, Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum = I love you), no use of y/n

Snow falls on top of your head as you’re shivering all while Din’s trying to fix the Razor Crest. To put it lightly, it’s not going well. You basically crash-landed on this random planet that you really can't remember the name of. As soon as you breached the atmosphere something went wrong with the Crest and Din’s still trying to figure out what happened exactly. And it’s taking him a while. 

“Din?” you ask, resting your hand on his back while he grumbles in frustration. He’s getting nowhere. 

“Yes?” he sighs. 

“Do you think you should take a break?”

“We have to get off this planet.”

“You’re making yourself so angry over this. Why don’t we walk to the village nearby?”

He sighs again. You can almost see the stress leaving his body as his shoulders slump. “Okay, let’s go.”

You walk to the village that you spotted earlier amid your crash landing. It’s so brightly lit and as you get closer you realize that it’s not just any lights; the village is decorated with Christmas lights. 

“Din… I think it’s Christmas here,” you say, turning and looking at him as you enter the village. 

“I don’t know much about Christmas.”

“Really?”

“Mandalorians don’t celebrate Christmas,” he says sadly. 

He looks up at the multicolored Christmas lights, strung from building to building. The light reflects beautifully off his armor, drenching him in shades you’ve never seen on him before. Christmas suits him, you decide. 

“Well, we can celebrate now,” you smile, “Might as well while you’re an apostate,” you joke. 

He doesn’t say anything and you fear you’ve overstepped. 

“I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I shouldn’t-”

“No, you’re right. I just don’t know where to start.”

“Let’s see. People do all sorts of things for Christmas! Like looking at all the lights and decorations, making cookies, going Christmas caroling, and exchanging presents. Whatever you want to start with.”

And speaking of presents, you have one for him. He doesn’t know about it of course, nor do you expect anything back. You’ll give it to him back at the Crest.

“Let’s start with the lights,” he says. 

You nod and lead the way through the village. It’s crowded but that’s to be expected on a holiday. Din’s not one for public displays of affection but as you weave through the bustling streets of the village, he presses himself closer to you and keeps a hand on the small of your back, as if you’re going to slip away from him. It makes your heart skip a beat. Affection and intimacy have been a little scarce ever since Grogu left. And then add the stress of becoming an apostate on top of that. You understand, though. It’s a lot for one person to go through in a short amount of time. Lack of intimacy aside, it’s nice to see him enjoying himself for once, even if only for a fleeting moment everything feels normal again. 

The lights are beautiful, strung from building to building in brilliant shades of red, blue, green, yellow, and pink. Snow is piled high on the rooftops and flurries cascade down from the sky. It’s something out of a postcard. 

“What do you think?” you ask. 

“It’s nice,” he says. 

“Looking at all of the lights was always my favorite thing about Christmas as a kid.”

“I can see why.”

“What do you want to do next?”

“You said something about cookies?”

“Mhm. I know we can’t make them ourselves but I’m sure there’s a bakery here.”

He nods and you continue walking the streets, still looking at all of the lights but also keeping an eye out for a bakery. And then you spot one as you turn a corner, tapping Din on the arm and pointing at it. 

“Let’s go!”

You open the door and you’re hit with the scent of freshly baked cookies. It’s so comforting but you can only assume Din can’t smell much of anything underneath his helmet. That fills you with sorrow and a sense of longing for him. 

You try to bury your feelings down and look at the cookies with Din. It’s rather funny seeing this big, strong man made of metal in this quaint little bakery looking at cookies. It’s an odd sight for the villagers, too, judging by their stares. Not that Din cares. He used to this.

Regardless, you look at the cookies on the display, cut out into cute little shapes. Stuff like snowflakes and stars, but also things like Wookies and Ewoks. You purchase a half dozen from the owner, choosing a few different shapes before leaving and stepping back out into the showy street.  

“Anything else you want to try before we head back?”

“I’m not singing,” he says quickly.

“I didn’t think you would,” you laugh.

It’s silent for a moment and you’re left with your thoughts and the snow falling around you. The lights are bouncing off his armor and he seems so calm for the first time in a long time. And now seems like the perfect time to tell him about the present.

“I have a present for you.”

“What?” he says, sounding almost distraught.

“I have a Christmas present for you,” you say, your lips curling into a smile.

“But… I didn’t get you anything.”

“I don’t expect anything, Din. It’s your first Christmas. I just want to make it special for you.”

“Thank you,” he says softly.

“Let’s go back, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he agrees.

You walk back to the Crest, carrying the box of cookies as you trudge through the snow. You’re so excited to give him his first Christmas present. But you’re also a tad nervous. He’s not exactly the easiest person to shop for so you had to get a little creative.

He lowers the exit ramp and you head inside. The Crest is only damaged in the front, thank the Maker, so the inside is a refuge from the cold weather. You set the cookies down on a shelf and head to the hiding spot you chose for your present. You live in such a small, confined place so you really had to hide it. Buried deep in a trunk underneath a pile of your clothes is a drawing you made of you, Din, and Grogu. Din’s wearing his helmet of course and you’re standing side by side with his arm around you while he holds Grogu with his other arm. You had it put into a frame while he was off chasing a bounty one day on an Outer Rim planet. Now that you’re looking at the drawing and looking back at him, who’s standing behind you and trying to get a peek at what the present is, you’re worried he’s gonna hate it. It’s not something you just picked up at a shop, it’s something you put so much thought and love into. And it involves Grogu. He’s such a sensitive topic for Din right now. All you can do is give it to him and hope he likes it.

You stand up and turn to face him, keeping the drawing behind your back.

“Merry Christmas,” you say, holding the drawing out in front of you.

He doesn’t say anything, taking it in his hands and inspecting it. Your mind is racing, convincing yourself that he hates it. And you’re pretty sure you should never do something like this again actually.

“It’s… perfect,” he says.

“Really?”

“Yeah… This is so thoughtful.”

“I hope it came out okay. I had to draw Grogu from memory. I might’ve made his ears too big.”

“No, it’s great. We look great.”

Before you can say anything else, he sets the drawing down on a crate and lifts the helmet off his head. He turns back to you and pulls you in for a kiss, holding you by your waist. 

“Thank you,” he murmurs against your lips. 

“Of course. It was morning,” you say, finishing with another kiss. 

“It was not nothing. It was sweet,” he says, kissing you again and pulling you into him closer. 

After he kisses you, he brings you in for a hug, resting your head against his breastplate.

“Thanks for giving me my first Christmas present,” he says softly. 

“You’re welcome. I’m just glad you like it.”

“I love it, cyar’ika.”

This just feels so nice, so natural again. You’ve missed his touch and affection for a while now. And while you would never pressure him and push him for something he isn’t ready for, you can’t deny that you’re enjoying this. It warms your heart to know that it was your Christmas present that made him feel comfortable enough to show you affection. You lean into his touch and wrap your arms around his waist just standing there and holding each other. 

“Do you have to go back to working on the Crest right now?” you say, pulling back to look at him, eyes pleading for more quality time with him.

“No, I guess not,” he says with a smirk. 

“Well, what do you wanna do now?”

“I have a few ideas,” he says, a hand trailing down to your ass, grabbing one cheek and squeezing it. You can’t believe your ears. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” he says, pushing you lightly towards the cot. 

He continues kissing you and you move towards the cot, his hands roaming your body. All you can think about is how you have to get your clothes off already and feel his skin against yours; feel the warmth of his touch. As you reach the cot, you break away from the kiss, shedding layers of your clothes, and tossing them in a pile on the floor. You look at Din who’s simply overdressed and ask him, “Do you want me to take your armor off?” while passing a hand over the bugle in his flight suit. 

“Kriff, yes,” he says with a strained voice. 

And so you do, starting with his shoulder pauldrons and working downward. You remove each piece of armor, every weapon, and his cape until he’s down to just his flight suit and boots. He takes off his boots and sets them by the neat stack of armor in the corner of the room, leaving you to unzip his flight suit. You peel it off of him and his cock springs free. Now you’re completely bare in front of each other, with the exception of Din’s chain around his neck. You haven’t done anything like this in a while, and it feels natural; like everything is right in the galaxy for a fleeting moment. He’s glued to you almost immediately, marking your body with lips while his hands roam your flesh. He kisses you all over, murmuring words of love and praise into your skin. 

“You’re so beautiful, cyar’ika,” he says, lips ghosting along the curve of your waist. 

“How did I get so lucky?” he continues, falling to his knees and kissing along your groin, “Lay down for me, cyar’ika,” he says, peering up at you. His pupils are blown so wide that only a small ring of brown is left; so full of love.

You do as you’re told, lying down on the cot and your feet planted on the floor. He kneels in front of your legs, spreading them apart and immediately burying his face in your cunt. For someone who’s only taken up giving head since becoming an apostate, he’s surprisingly good at it already. His tongue swirls around your clit before moving down to your entrance. His nose grinds against your clit as he laps at your wetness, reveling in your taste and your scent. His eyes are locked on you, watching as your chest heaves up and down, admiring your lashes fanned out against your cheeks, and taking note of your perked-up nipples. He loves seeing the physical reactions you have as he pleases you. Your back arches up off the cot as you cum, stars dancing in your vision. He keeps licking your cunt through your orgasm, moaning as he tastes your release. Your back returns to the cot and he pulls away, resting his head on your inner thigh and looking up at you with the lower half of his face glistening. 

“You taste so good, cyar’ika,” he sighs, in complete bliss. 

You giggle and move to sit upright, getting ready to suck his cock. But he stops you pushing you back down on the bed lightly with his hand on your tummy.

“No, let me take care of you. You’ve been so patient with me…” he says with wide eyes as if he’s desperate to please you; desperate to seek your approval.

“Are you sure?”

“I am,” he says quickly. 

“You’re too sweet,” you say, as he stands up and gathers your wetness with his hand. He gives his cock a few strokes and you watch as pre-cum leaks from the tip and moves with the motion of his foreskin. He aligns himself with your entrance, getting ready to take you just like this, with him standing at the edge of the cut. But you stop him before he enters you. 

“Wait,” you say and he looks at you with wide eyes again. “I want you close to me,” you continue, inching up farther on the cot to make room for him. He nods and moves to hover over you. You spread your length to accommodate how broad he is and he slowly thrusts into you, sighing at the warm, inviting feeling encapsulating his cock. 

“Maker, I missed this,” he says, looking into your eyes with the same love-filled expression.

“You, feel so good, Din, ah!” you moan, your voice jumping an octave as he draws his hips back and slams into you.

He rests on his elbows on either side of your head, his face only inches away from yours. His chain dangles from his neck and makes contact with your chin. You look down at the silver metal, moving with each thrust Din makes, and take it into your mouth. His eyes widen and lets out a small gasp, followed but a guttural moan. 

“Kriff, cyar’ika, I didn’t know you were into that,” he says, mindblown by your small gesture.

“You like my chain in your mouth, huh? It’s for you and only you, mesh’la,” he continues, getting more and more turned on by the sight of his chain in between your teeth. And in that moment he decides he just has to kiss you. He takes the chain out of your mouth with his fingers and kisses you before you can protest. The kiss is ravenous and breathless, desperate even as if you’re going to slip away and he can’t get enough of you. He moans against your lips and keeps the same pace as he thrusts in and out of you. 

He pulls back and hovers over your face for a moment to look at you and say, “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum,” always in Mando’a of course. You repeat the phrase back to him just before he crashes his lips against yours. And just as he does that you cum around his cock, walls fluttering and pulsating in rhythmic waves. Your orgasm triggers his own and he cums inside you, the head of his cock nestled against your cervix. Once he’s done and also feels the end of your orgasm, he pulls out and lies down beside you. You place yourself in the crook of his neck and rest against him, moving your hand to his chest and fiddling with his chain. 

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“For what? Having sex with you?”

“No, for being… the best. Like I said before, you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Of course, Din, You went through a lot.”

“I know but I shouldn’t have been so withdrawn…”

“It’s understandable, Din,” you say, turning and resting your chin on his chest to look at him. “I never took it personally,” you finish, twirling his chain in between your fingers.

“Thanks for my Christmas present,” he smiles.

“I’m glad you liked it. Maybe we can keep celebrating when you redeem yourself.”

“You know what? Why not?” he says, bringing a hand to the back of your head and pulling you closer for a kiss.

“Merry Christmas, Din,” you whisper against his lips.

“Merry Christmas, cyar’ika.”

Follow @beskarandblastersfics and turn on post notifications to be notified when I post a new fic!

Gif by @bestintheparsec, banners/dividers by @saradika-graphics

[theresattrpgforthat]

games without sheets (like no need to write anything down)

THEME: Games Without Character Sheets.

Hello there, I’ve got a bit of a range here for games. Some are solo, some are lighthearted, and some are good for contemplative conversations.

Oh Maker, by Kienna Shaw.

You are an android, an artificial intelligence. Made, not born. Your Creator, your programming, and the world you occupy will vary, as will the scenes you play. But the question remains the same. To find its answer is the game…

Oh Maker is a Descended From the Queen card-based game of communal story-telling, designed by Kienna Shaw (@KiennaS) and Jason Cutrone (@JustJasonPls). 

In it, 3 or more players take on the role of androids who, through their own unique experiences and exploits, will come to confront their very nature. Select from 10 distinct Creators, those who gave the group form and function, and their respective worlds - or generate your very own - and utilize the various prompts provided to collectively explore the question of consciousness, and maybe even find some answers.

For The Queen is a card game that introduced a new way of playing story games, and has plenty of hacks that use the same style of answering prompts to tell different kinds of stories. Many of these games expect you to start as characters with very clear goals or beliefs, but as you move through the prompts, your characters may experience doubts, or a change of heart. As a result, the end of the game is often something you cannot predict. The bulk of the experience involves pulling cards from a deck and answering the questions involved, although if you play online the game might come with alternative options. If you like the idea of this gameplay but you want to see what is out there besides a game about androids, you might want to check the Games section of the For The Queen website.

Games To Play While Falling Asleep, by Meguey Baker.

As an adult, falling asleep is hard sometimes. Our worries are the same, but wider in reach. And if we have a sleeping partner, letting them sleep if they can is a gift of loving kindness. So, sometimes, I play these games to fall asleep.

You can’t write anything down if you’re trying to sleep, so games that are meant to take place where you don’t have access to pen or paper are a possible good fit for you. I know there are some other solo games out there on Itch, but this is the one that first came to mind, and it looks like it’s a collection, so if one game doesn’t fit your fancy, another one might!

A Long Night in the Mech Bay, by Nested Games.

A 2 Player Tabletop Roleplaying Game about Relationships Reforged in Conflict

In an ever shifting war that has spread to the entire Merseus System, the Roran Federation's Ace Pilot has barely escaped from their life from a recent incident. Sadly, there is no time to rest for the pilot or their mechanic. This Mech needs to be ready to fight tomorrow and no one else is available to help. It’s going to be a long night.

I think that you could play this game without writing anything down, as long as you are able to remember the 4 truths established at the beginning of the game; truths that define your characters and their relationship to each-other. The game leads you through three mini-games; two Reveries and one Testing the Waters.

You play with a number of some kind of token, whether that be poker chips or coins or buttons. Each Reverie consists of a number of questions the characters will ask each-other, causing emotional wounds or repairing broken pieces of the relationship. Testing the Waters involves narrating how the last interaction between the Mechanic and the Pilot plays out. I think this game could end in a positive or negative light, depending on how you decide to answer each-other’s questions. If you want a game that navigates the intimacy of a relationship where a life hangs in the balance, this might be your game.

Bad Moon, by Adira Slattery.

THE MOON IS BIG THE MOON GLOWS YOU ARE BELOW SHE IS UP HIGH THE MOON HAS RISEN IN THE SKY AND THE MOON HAS PISSED YOU OFF TIME TO STOP LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH IT

In this game, you will yell at the Moon because you love her and you have no other options left. She must understand how she has hurt you. You will be heard. The Moon must hear you. She must…

This is a two-player game of catharsis, with one player listening, and the other venting their feelings. The supplicant should read through the introduction of the game and create a problem that The Moon is responsible for. They are expected to work though the problem in it’s entirety - how it started, why the Moon is involved, and why you love her so much and how that love has made the problem worse. At the very end of the game, the Moon will respond - and her response will end the game.

Clown Helsing, by Planarian.

Clowns. We've all seen them… riding their unicycles, blowing up balloons at parties, piling in garish hordes from tiny cars, waddling around in bulbous red shoes, passed out in a dumpster stinking of booze and regret. For what do these martyrs of mirth sacrifice themselves? The answer is they do it for us. Not just to fill our need for laughter and merriment, but because they defy the doom of mankind! Clowns are man's only salvation against… Vampires.

Clown Helsing is incredibly simple, although I should clarify that it is a game where only the players don’t need to write anything down. The GM might have to make a few notes about the vampires that the group is facing off against, although these should mostly be jot notes, not anything extensive. Players simply have to remember three things about their clown: the clown’s name, their clown’s style, and their clown’s niche party trick. All of your encounters take place using rounds of rock-paper-scissors, which lends to a fast-paced, goofy kind of game.

You Also Might Consider...

DIY Identity (An Odd Bijou), by S. Kaiya J.

[butchdykenormallen]

so, new spotify update.

(pt : so, new spotify update.)

[id 1/ a screenshot of spotify on a grey background. text reads, in bold, "There's a monthly limit on lyrics". text under in grey reads, "Every time you tap "Show lyrics", it will count towards your limit. To get full access to lyrics, switch to Spotify Premium." A button in green reads, "Show lyrics", and under it, another button reads "Dismiss." /end id]

[id 2/ a screenshot of spotify on a slate grey background. Text reads above, "Lyrics preview". more text under, in bold, reads, "I've earned myself a reputation / That my bark is much worse than my bite / But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands / With all of my tiny might / There are no stones at my disposal". at the last line, it fades, and a box reads, "You've hit your lyrics limit for this month." a button under in white reads, "Learn more." /end id]

(screenshots courtesy of @thatweirdqueer , my boyfriend <3)

my boyfriend came across this message after clicking show lyrics once. they're forcing a limit on looking up lyrics to a song in their own app, and we need to talk about it.

at this point, spotify premium has been so forced onto us, that spotify is practically not even a free app. if you skip one too many songs, you have to listen to five or more ads. the dislike and like features they've implemented do nothing. everyday i boot up spotify, it flashes a larger than life ad with a button so small i can barely see it, just to dismiss myself. it tracks if you've bought premium to market these ads to you to guilt you into getting it back. you can't even download songs from it without premium. it's a barely functioning free app with everything locked behind a paywall.

if you want good lyrics for free, without having to pay a corporation for them, id recommend azlyrics, lyrictranslate, and searching the music artists channel. azlyrics doesn't have every song, which is a guaranteed, but its extremely easy to navigate, doesn't have many ads, and lays its lyrics out in a manner thats extremely easy to read. lyricstranslate has lyrics translated from many different languages, and can even translate songs into other languages on a whim. its run by people who can translate them, and is free to modify if you find a mistake. searching up the song on the artists channel (NOT the youtube owned topic) can help wield results as to what the lyrics are. one such example of this is femtanyl, who writes all of their lyrics in the descriptions of their videos.

adding onto this, if you'd like to download videos for free, whether it be mp4 or mp3, id recommend searching youtube to mp3 in an incognito tab! (id recommend this because some sites send you to rather sketchy websites sadly. they are efficient, you just have to ensure what you download is what you want. plus, it keeps it out of your search history if you share a browser with someone!) its easy, just copy the link of the video you want and paste it into the box. then, choose what file format you want it to be downloaded in, click convert, and now you have your own file downloaded for free. i've used this method for years now, and it hasn't failed me.

in conclusion, FUCK capitalism, DELETE spotify, and USE ALTERNATIVES.

-badger

[pjohoo-reclists]

30k+ Alternate Universe Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase Fic Recs

Request: Looking for a (preferably) long Percabeth story. Anything goes: something wholesome, smut, comfort story etc.

I tried to stick to wholesome/comfort stories, and ended up with an entire list of alternate universe fics. None of these are set in the PJO universe. They're all fairly long, over 30k each. Enjoy!

The Sweetest Sounds by timelesslords

G | 31k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Alternate Universe Fantasy, Protective Percy Jackson, Mistaken Identity

“You’re not from around here, are you?” Annabeth asked, looking up at him. He looked back at her innocently. It seemed genuine, which only confirmed Annabeth’s suspicions. “Why do you say that?” he asked. His eyes were really a distracting shade of green. “Most people from here know better than to show me kindness,” Annabeth said, beginning to walk down the road again. He started walking again too. “I think everyone deserves kindness." *** Or, a Cinderella AU (loosely) based on Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997)

Merry Chrysler by ananbeth, blackjacktheboss

T | 32k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn

It’s the twelfth of December and Annabeth is drunk. She’s not sure who’s apartment she’s in and she lost Piper about half an hour ago. She’s taken up residence on a very comfy couch and has resorted to people watching. Annabeth has been staring at the lights on a girl’s reindeer sweater for perhaps five minutes when a body slumps down next to her. She looks over to find her best friend, Percy, blinking at her sadly. She reaches over and pats his head. “What’s wrong, Pineapples?” “I’m gonna spend Christmas alone."

Game, Set, Match. by ananbeth, blackjacktheboss

M | 44k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Secret Relationship, Friends with Benefits, Athlete Percabeth

“We should probably make some rules.” Percy has regained control over his expression, he looks back with a raised eyebrow and a contemplative expression. “Rules?” “So this doesn’t get messy.” “Okay. So, we should be honest with each other, right? No lying or whatever.” “Right. That includes if we start feeling things.” “Things?” “You know, like, emotions and shit.” “Such a way with words.” “Fuck off.”   Or, that one where Percy and Annabeth are pro tennis players and decide to hook up. Annabeth wants rules, Percy gets too attached. What's new.

Sugar, Sugar by perseannabeth

T | 50k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Jason Grace/Piper McLean

Chocolate Store AU, Fluff, Friends to Lovers

Annabeth Chase doesn't have a sweet tooth, she isn't a big fan of chocolates but there is a small chocolate store that might change her mind. Falling in love in a chocolate store was Piper's love story, not hers but things could change when a green-eyed chocolate maker enters her life. Piper McLean didn't expect to run into the (possibly) love of her life while she was buying chocolates still in her pajamas, but one smile from him and she was a goner. Between dating and working, she still finds time to hang out with her best friends and, even if Annabeth didn't want her to be, be a wingman for Annabeth.

and they were roommates by bipercabeth

T | 76k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Alternate Universe College/University, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn

oh my god they were roommates It had been a throwaway comment, really, when Annabeth had suggested that she and Percy get an apartment together for college.

Spellbound by writergirl8

M | 91k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Jason Grace/Piper McLean

Hogwarts AU, Domestic Bliss, Married!Percabeth, Teacher!Percy

Percy always thought the most bewitching thing he could discover at Hogwarts was magic. Then he met Annabeth Chase.

just practice by knuffled (bigscary)

T | 95k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Angst

“So I’m taking you on dates and stuff, but we’re not actually together?” “Yeah, exactly. It’s just practice,” Annabeth said, nodding. “Just practice,” Percy echoed. “Just practice,” Annabeth confirmed. Percy locked eyes with her silently for a few seconds before he took a long sip of his milkshake. “Do we have a deal?” Annabeth asked. “We have a deal,” Percy said.

I Got a Boy by flyingcrowbar

T | 137k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Alternate Universe High School, Secret Identity, Fluff and Humor

Bolt Academy has everything: prestige, affluence, renown. Almost every world leader, CEO, athlete, and have stepped through its doors. Problem is, it’s only for boys. But it’s the only school with the most challenging architecture program in the country. What else is Annabeth Chase supposed to do? Desperate to achieve her dream of becoming an esteemed architect, she cuts off her long curls, binds her chest, and goes by the name of Andy - the newest male student on campus. Now she must travel the dorms, the locker rooms, even the hallways with her secret. It’s smooth sailing, that is until Annabeth’s roommate Percy Jackson - a nationally ranked freestyle swimmer - starts to have feelings for Andy. Coming to understand his sexual orientation, Percy navigates a campus filled with homophobia and hate crimes, all while every day taking a step closer to competing in the Olympics. Around every corner lies an opportunity for sabotage, and Percy has a target on his back. But when Percy discovers the secret that Annabeth has been keeping, hard choices must be made and neither are willing to let the other give up on their dreams. An interpretation of “She’s the Man” and the Korean drama “To the Beautiful You.”

The Long Game by captainjackson

E | 293k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Annabeth Chase & Connor Stoll, Percy Jackson/Rachel Elizabeth Dare

Alternate Universe College/University, Mortal AU, Olympics AU

With the Summer Olympics less than four months away, Annabeth Chase and her beach volleyball teammate, Piper, are right on track to being invited to represent the United States in Athens. But that level of premiere athletic training doesn't come cheap and Annabeth is running out of options— so when a University administrator reaches out with an unexpected opportunity, she'd be a fool not to leap at it... right? Suddenly, Annabeth and Percy — a young hotshot swimmer — find themselves at the center of a media charade that dredges up secrets that were supposed to stay buried. With the world watching, Annabeth is forced to face her past and take control of her future as she learns that, sometimes, life is all about playing the long game.

[moonliched]

Hello pretty

I remember you talked about the bad ending of 3th chapter where Moon would successfully lure Meryn under the water ( rip, very sad alternative universe, glad we are in the other timeline) what would happen if Meryn didn't survive the first encounter with Sun? If they didn't retrieve their breather? Would Sun realise sooner than Moon? Would they drown? If they did would Sun even realise? What would he do? Would he hide it from Moon? Or swimed searching, for him terrified with what happened? How would Moon feel? Would he blame himself for keeping Meryn a secret? After all maybe if he told Sun about them, that they are different, can't breathe like them, that wouldn't happen. What would Bon-Bon feel? I think it would hit him hard, not only his only friend is gone, but their last conversation was an argument. It really hit me how badly for everyone it could end if Meryn wasn't sneaky and smart.

Sorry for angst lol just curious after I read about Moon really drowning reader

Good thing they both know now <3

Also can Meryn digest more things than normal human can? Are they more resistant to food poisoning? Like could they eat raw meat without worrying about anything?

Also did Moon realise after some time ( for example after he bit reader ) how badly he hurt them during their first encounter? Rereading the fic I see by his standards and world view ( him having scales and thinking Meryn does too, therefore them being tougher) he handled them pretty well and softly you can say, considering situation they were in. But after learning how soft their scaleless skin is did he had the realisation moment? Like he is in his nest just thinking and bam, he realises how hurtful it had to be?

Love yaaa sorry for rambling

ehee hiii bby, kicks my feet <3

this turned out long so it's under the cut✂️

sadly Meryn would have absolutely drowned in that scenario😭 Sun had noticed enough to hear that any sounds they were making were coming from behind the breather, but he only realised its purpose after Meryn retrieved it from him in the fic.

in this alternate timeline, after they drown he might not entirely understand how they died - from his POV, they would have been fighting and struggling, then weakening, then limp and unconscious/drowned. maybe he'd consider the mask and put the dots together.

he would have tried to wake them up and failed. keeping them in the water runs the risk of other creatures eating the body, and he wouldn't want to bring a corpse back to the nest, so Sun would likely place them above water (plenty of air bubbles in this fic.) he would wait for Moon to return and gradually become more and more frantic and agitated, blaming himself and panicking. he'd check back on Meryn in the hopes that some miracle has revived them, and tug painfully at his head fins. he'd be too frightened to leave the warm environment.

around this time Moon is only returning home to rest and drop off supplies he has hunted, so Sun would have a hard time catching him. when he finally finds him, Sun would lead Moon to Meryn, hoping he can do something to fix this. he'd be babbling too hard for Moon to immediately understand what had happened, and Moon might even jump to conclusions that Meryn has done something dumb to scare his partner, and get annoyed with them. sneaking around, entering his home without asking - his human is so much trouble!

then he'd see the body and feel so much worse.

Moon would definitely blame himself for not communicating with Sun. he'd turn it around and around in his head, considering everything he could have done differently. he'd try to revive Meryn in any way he can, but eventually have to give it up. Sun would feel even worse - not only has he killed the first chance of outside contact they've had in a long time, but it's someone Moon has already formed a bond with. Moon would be tempted to keep the body, but ultimately the mers would return them to the platform. the decision would take a while.

BON-BON would react very badly. the body showing up would extinguish all hope that Meryn is somehow alive out there, waiting to be rescued. his friend is gone in exactly the way he always feared, and he would take it out on the team by manipulating the building and the robots. he would also become extremely aggressive and mistrustful of the mermaids, and utilise the facility's external machinery to scare them off if they ever return (e.g. the subs.) eventually, his behaviour would grow so abrasive and overt that he would be discovered as a sentient AI.

hope that was fun, a bit more angst for you :3c

Meryn is a mixed bag! they can eat some things regular humans can't, but also other things aren't suited for them - like dairy. they're a lil lactose intolerant, and the ice creams they feed Moon don't contain actual milk. they could absolutely eat raw meat, but they're intensely aware of how badly people react to that sort of thing😣 however, i don't know if that makes them less susceptible to food poisoning - since this is future sci fi fic, some of the food they eat is alien in origin, so there isn't a blanket answer on that :0

Moon is now aware that Meryn is softer and more fragile than a mermaid, and has gentled his actions to accommodate. biting them definitely kickstarted that realisation, and he felt bad after thinking over their past interactions later. buuuut he still doesn't fully understand, as of chapter 13. mermaids heal quicker than humans, and his bite has permanently scarred Meryn's shoulder. he hasn't had the opportunity to see that... yet :)

thank you for the big ask, mwah mwah mwah❤️❤️❤️ ppl like you make me feel so happy, you're thinking about my story and theorising! hugs u😋

[lovecanbesostrange]

Please know that since yesterday I am mentally trapped in these two panels. There is actually a lot I will miss Krakoa for, but I also felt a bit of resentment throughout the era and this family is a big reason why. NOW that we are in the last stretch of burning it all down and the new X-launch is in reach, we'll get this wedding special. And we finally have all four together in a panel. NOW?! I bought X-Men Unlimited #4 in either fall of '94 or spring '95, solely because of the cover. 30 years of waiting. Let me live in this moment for a bit.

Look at what they are doing with the art! Oh sure, Mystique and Nightcrawler are the blue ones. Pair up Destiny and Rogue next to that to make them look similar enough as well. Only for my brain to scream "but the personalities are the other way around!!!!!!!!". Irene and Kurt work on faith and believe in possibilities and reaching out to be better. Raven and Anna Marie typing this out makes me feel weird are the ones who will kill a bitch and say they will darken their soul so others don't have to. Plus there is the element that they both have lived more than one life and their sense of self is distorted .

They've come a long way, okay?!

Yes this is exactly what it looks like. For plot reasons Nightcrawler was too weak to teleport and dangling off a cliff next to Mystique. And of course Rogue could only save one and before she made a decision Mystique said "I make this for you" and let go. I still like to believe she flipped them the bird when she fell. Because she is Mystique. "HaHa! Take this, you think I'm the worst mother ever, but you will have to live with a moment of nobility from me!" (Also Destiny knew this would come, and she fucking knows there is something good inside of Mystique. It just comes out... different. And needs very specific circumstances.)

Apart from X-Men Evolution (and the X-Men Forever alternate history comic with its very special vibes), we have never gotten any bigger acknowledgement of this family. And Irene has been cut out. Either conveniently on account of being dead, or because she's an old lady and clearly just a gal pal, ahem. (It's also very funny to me to go back to their first appearances, where the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants has the biggest Three Stooges energy ever. I needed Mystique, Destiny, Rogue, Pyro, Blob and Avalanche to have a drinking contest on Krakoa. That is what Krakoa was supposed to be about!! You needed to give us 200% domestic nonsense, fun and games. So it would hurt everybody when it was inevitably taken away. EVERYBODY needed to find happiness in that place in unconventional ways.)

Sadly not my original thought (I don't have those), but recently I read some comment where somebody said that with Irene being his bio-mother, Kurt should have inherited a type of precog-sense, a sorta spidey-sense for teleportation. A natural ability that he won't teleport into an obstacle. And I would be so on board with that. (Also funny, because Ms Marvel had that type of sense and I could pull up panels where Nightcrawler tried to trigger that in Rogue.) Would it be weird to add that now? Sure. But also super cute and helpful.

My deepest gratitude goes out to the fanartists who have doodled and sketched and painted cute family moments for them out of time. Now canon can catch up. Imagine their dinner conversations. N: "Logan is my best friend." M: "Oh, that reminds me there is this blue furball running around with his and my powers. I don't even remember if we ever had sex or not, we're so close in age and have these memory gaps." N: "Mutter, nein!" D: "You should ask him out, you two would make a cute couple. Trust me." R: "You're setting up Nightcrawler with Wolverine and keep giving me grief over Gambit?" M: "He speaks too much French! Wolverine might be Canadian, but at least he's not a Franco-Canadian!" N: "So I couldn't date Northstar?"

Do not get me wrong though. Mystique and Destiny are horrible people and they will stab others in the back. They have worked for the government, they have plotted assassinations of government people. They have fought alongside and against the X-Men. I don't want them tamed or be reasonable. I want their mess. I want them as anti-villains. Because they don't do heinous things for nothing. They like to create less horrible murder events than what could be... some writers just liked to go overboard with the scheming and forgot the sympathic undertones, which I want to cling to. And we deserved a time of peace on Krakoa. Truly imagine a Mystique who was happy on Krakoa. And the absolut batshit villainous energy when it's burned down against her will... now THAT would have been something. Instead of baking resentment into the foundation.

[landwriter]

Heya, I love your writing and taste in things.

I’ve finished (and loved) everything you’ve posted <3

Are there any sandman fics that have tickled your fancy lately?

Thank you so much!!! I sadly do not have time to read near as much Sandman fic as I'd like, but I have scoured both my memory and my bookmarks on AO3 (all twelve of them) and dug up some absolutely wonderful stories - hope at least one or two of these is new to you?!

I am probably a bit weird in this, but I don't bookmark fics I love (which is really nearly all I've read) insamuch as fics that have done something in particular that I think is so well-executed or clever or inspiring that I want to be able to study it like a creature in its own right. Usually these are stories that have the traits I admire most in fiction: economy of language, being very fucking funny, making me viscerally uncomfortable, or outright haunting me.

I loved reading all of them but your mileage may vary! Caveat lector like more than half of these are smut and/or violent so please check the tags against your own preferences. Several long-winded recs with excerpts and explanations under the cut:

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The Birthday of the Beast | @slythernim | Dream/Hob | T | 3.3K

Father Almighty, though I have long not been your servant, I remain your unmanageable son. Here on Earth, closer to Hell than to Heaven, as I celebrate perhaps the least holy of holy days, I must imagine myself like unto Lucifer more than as Michael, that he and I might together make of the darkness a place for humanity to grow. He blows out the candles. 

Hob turns 666. Extremely fun fic by Nym that features incredible characterization within a very short space, Catholicism, Lucifer, and of course, gets a very special birthday gift. But you shall have to read the fic to see what it is. Read everything of Nym's, actually.

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New Mistakes | Anonymous | Dream/Corinthian | M | 3.2K

Dream slid his thumb into the Corinthian’s mouth, the one he shared with most, the one with which he commonly spoke. “Well?” he asked. “Are you fed?” The voice that came from his left-eye mouth buzzed like locusts. My lord, we are. The voice that came from his right-eye mouth dripped like honey. My lord, we can always be fed more. Dream pulled back, looking at the Corinthian expectantly. The Corinthian swallowed, running his tongue along his teeth. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and Dream was unaccountably flattered. “My lord,” he said. “I wish to be good.”

Have read almost no Corintheus but this fic hits on so much that I find distantly intriguing about the pairing. Perfect dialogue, gorgeous rhythm. Wonderfully visceral. Absolutely bonkers nuts for repetition in threes, as I'm sure you know, and I love how it was used here.

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Lucy Locket | Anonymous | Dream/Hob and Dream/Hob/Corinthian | E | 17K

Five chapters (now with a new threesome added in late April, much to my delighted surprise!) of just fantastic roleplay smut that in-between all the sex is by turns incredibly funny and tender. Alternating Dream and Hob POV. As somebody for whom sexual roleplay has been my literal bread and butter on a professional basis, it shouldn't be surprising I am so fond of this fic - but it catches me out every time! Like a blow from behind, and I am winded. It is ridiculously hot and distressingly perfect all-through, and I would absolutely marry the author about it (sorry author if you're reading this). No excerpt because I cannot choose and will simply suggest that if you're up for kink that you go read it all at once.

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Public | @softest-punk | Dream/Hob | E | 1.1K

"Oh, darling," Hob murmurs, fingering the edge of Dream's delicate lace knickers. Dream feels his smirk against his jaw, bites his lip at the brush of a kiss under his ear. "You forget how old I am. I learned to fuck with an audience."

Every day I get closer and closer to needing to write Dream and/or Hob with vulvas; this may have been the fic that sealed the deal for me, I think. Ridiculously hot, and enshrined in my head forever for the line above. I learned to fuck with an audience. God! How good. A masterclass in the slutty drabble that nevertheless retains peak Dream/Hob characterization (I would argue that sex is in fact one of the best narrative vehicles for characterization and exploration of interpersonal dynamics...this bias is probably why nearly all these recs are so horny.) One day I will learn how to write proper smut in media res like this and not preface it with gratuitous plot.

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worship like a dog | @thewalrus-said | Dream/Hob | E | 2.5K

“Is it so inconceivable that I might love you?” Dream murmured, running his manicured nail down Hob’s cheek. Hob tried to speak, swallowed, and tried again. “No one ever has before,” he said. “No one but God.”

Hob is a priest. Dream is a demon, except he's not. Dizzyingly hot for so many reasons, with a delightful canon dialogue echo. And again, must stress this: Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest, go read it.

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Safehouse | Anonymous | Hob/Corinthian | E | 5K

“I need a room. One without a door.”

The best execution of the sex pollen trope I've ever seen, with the worst men. Very, very good fic with a brilliant premise and unerring execution. World-building is done in such brief but vivid strokes - it feels like a 50K fic whenever I remember it, and I'm always surprised how short it actually is. Haunts me in the best of ways.

---

As well - these fics are well-known and well-loved - but some stories that are utterly wonderful and contain lines that haunt me weeks, sometimes months later - stories that rearranged my soul, lurched me closer towards writing for Sandman, and warrant mention even though I am SURE you have read them, include:

@moorishflower's iconic and beautiful Odyssey fic, maybe sprout wings was the first fic I commented on with my AO3 account, and among the best fics I've ever read in any fandom; slightly deeper cuts from Heather's oeuvre (if, for some reason you are not reading everything already) that I am obsessed with and have reread multiple times: vowel shift, most vain devices, an act of faith. Genius stuff and unbelievably gorgeous language. Just go read it all, honestly

@softest-punk's Shelter is one of the first Sandman fics I ever read, and is beyond lovely; if you have not read their entire deep and profoundly lovely back catalogue, I recommend Catching Up (quintessential Cecil deep tissue emotional massage), Delayed (or: my favourite kink and favourite Endless); Ferrous (vampires! bad men! ahh! ooh!); and I would of course be remiss and ungrateful to not mention self-abandon, and the confounding effects thereof, a 10K fic that perfectly answered my general question of how the three lads would actually get together once the Corinthian and Hob had started fucking (as narrative foils that deserve such treats)

@xx-vergil-xx's Hounds is an ongoing epic that has singlehandedly caused me more emotions than humanity has language for; it is ambitious in scope and sticks every landing. The world is alive and lovingly-detailed. The language is a poem. It is so smart, so beautiful, and so well-researched and built. It is a TEMPLE unto itself, and appropriately worthy of worship

I will also suggest you read absolutely everything by @that-banhus because she literally cannot miss and writes the loveliest, cleverest worlds. All of it.

[discourse-by-candlelight]

Coming out of retirement to talk about something real quick, hopefully this post only. We're staying out of the tulpa discourse now, we said our piece, our views, and nothing has really changed on any side since except more pain caused. That said we'd like to address a new alternative term being tossed at tulpa systems which is just so not cool.

No, Soulbond/Soulbonding does not exist to replace tulpamancy and shows a real lack of knowledge on Plural history. These are entirely seperate communities with well over a decade to each of their name, multiple decades for Soulbonding, and Soulbonders have already had so much taken from them.

Soulbonders are one of the first endogenic plural communities to form into a significant group and have no connection to the CDD community up until cross pollination between the two communities back around 2003. Soulbonders are what the tulpamancy community might call a writers tulpa, when an author or superfan interacts and thinks about a character enough in such a way that it induces a state of plurality and the character becomes a headmate. The how's for this vary but the early communities had a big mix of psychological and spiritual beliefs for this, ranging from explanations similar to what we'd call a tulpa all the way to multiversal brain travel.

Soulbonders have their own unique plural subculture, and they've been hurt by syscourse probably more than any other endogenic community since they were here from the start, from the empowered multiplicity days, and sadly got wrapped up in it. Unlike daemonism or tulpamancy their communities nowadays are barely extant beyond some tumblr blogs. We personally can't find any still active forum or modern internet community for them. They have basically been eliminated as an independent group and absorbed into the general haze of the endogenic community, losing much of their own identity.

Regardless of your current stances, please don't take away what little the Soulbonders have left, remember their community and don't just slap their name onto the tulpamancy community of all things.

[bearborg]

Heya, I saw that rb on my Metroid logo - I appreciate the insight regarding the Chozo glyphs! 👍

After your comment I did a bit of additional searching, and it doesn't seem like the interchanging is absolutely consistent across the Dread media, is that correct? More for tessellating opportunities than an exact rule, perhaps.

Either way, I don't necessarily mind this logo being 'incorrect' in that regard - I've had in mind that the Chozo sometimes use a 'simpler' form of their language specifically for ease of translation, so maybe this can coincide with that as a happy accident on my part. Plus, I have an alternate version of the logo which the interchanging glyphs would work better for, so I may apply it to that one and use both logos! Nonetheless, it's a cool detail about the language I hadn't noticed :o

Glad to know you've been digging the Samus design so far :)

it doesn't seem like the interchanging is absolutely consistent across the Dread media, is that correct?

I'm pretty confident that it's 100% consistent. What you might have seen is an example like this, where characters on the same row aren't tessellated:

But the tessellation is still being applied here, the text is just written vertically. You could argue that the tessellation is actually even more important here, since it indicates the direction that the text should be read in.

I've had in mind that the Chozo sometimes use a 'simpler' form of their language specifically for ease of translation, so maybe this can coincide with that as a happy accident on my part.

Definitely plausible! The square glyphs seen in Zero Mission (and several other games before Dread) are essentially just a blockier non-tessellating version of the Dread glyphs, which could be a modernization or an attempt at making them more legible to other species. Prime 1 also has a separate, scratchier looking alphabet of rune-like symbols (sadly untranslatable), so there's clearly diversity in the Chozo's written language.

Nonetheless, it's a cool detail about the language I hadn't noticed :o

Dread has quite a lot of those! If you're interested in diving all the way into Chozo language research, I'd highly recommend checking out @ChozoCourse on twitter, where you can find a nicely-packaged fan document detailing everything we know about the language right now.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys! Got an anon ask with some triggers, so I'm copying it here so I can put a 'read more.'

TW: ED, SH

Here's the original ask:

hey Cas!

hru today? <3

I rlly don’t wanna bother u but I just need some advice bc I’m in a pretty tricky situation and I don’t know who I couldn’t turn to who wouldn’t then tell OTHER people (adults etc)

also a TW b4 anyone reads further: ED (not me but a a friend) and generally bad mental health (including sh and sui)

Basically I have this friend (one of my best friends) who’s struggled with really bad mental health and attempted in the past (we weren’t friends during this time but they’ve shared it with me) they have told me they no longer sh but I’m not entirely sure if I believe him on that but I guess there’s nothing to do except just take their word for it and they are definitely doing better than they were before (about a year or two ago)

thing is this friend does still have a (pretty bad I think) ED (specifically I think they have anorexia but I’m really not sure because I don’t know that much about EDs. I’ve tried to do some research but it’s actually incredibly hard to find any info about them especially in terms of ways to emotionally show support. In a medical sense they always seemed to be talked about like minor things(?) idk it’s hard to explain but often times I’ve been reading actual factual medical stuff and just been disgusted at the ways it’s discussed, like they try so hard to describe it from a technical viewpoint that they essentially the entire mental health aspect of it which kind of demeans the whole thing bc EDs ARE a mental health disorder)

sorry went on a little side rant there but basically I’ve tried to find stuff out but it’s really hard to learn about the mental health aspect and even harder to find stuff out about how to HELP someone through an ED

I’ve even resorted to looking thru some more unsavoury places for info (including anablr), I know these types of places encourage EDs and I am actually not a person who really loves their body very much but I do think I’m in a strong enough place emotionally to do this (and so far I’ve been correct, I’m unaffected) because I just wanted some actual insight on what it’s like

the problem with my friend is that she’s ALREADY in therapy. Her parents put her in it when they found out about her vaping habit but they just lie all the time (she tells me about it) because they have like serious trust issues due to past trauma and I’m gonna be honest, I 100% believe therapy is a good thing but sadly it is also entirely useless if the person doesn’t make any effort to get better

all I can do in that aspect of it is hope the therapy is going better than the jokes he makes about it or that eventually she will feel comfortable enough to share and process her issues

in terms of the ED what im really lost with is how to help

and don’t get me wrong, I know you can’t really help a person who doesn’t want to be helped but honestly I’m not giving up on this person I care about that easily. I will NOT be another person in their life who abandons them for being ‘too much’ or ‘too difficult’. I’ve already accepted the fact that I will not be able to help them out of it really (as best as I can at least)

I’ve already taken to carrying gum and mints in my school bag as much as I can (usually I’ll have a pack of both and I just share them with everyone so this person doesn’t actually catch wind that they’re the reason I do as quite often when they skip lunch they do help themselves to a few of my mints or gum pieces but ik if they knew it was for them they’d stop bc she’s just like that)

I just don’t know how else to help emotionally though, I’m one of the only people (I might be the ONLY person at all) that they feel comfortable enough to talk to about these issues and I just think its better that they’re telling someone who cares about them and is trying to help than telling no one at all which seems to be the alternative. The issue is I don’t know how to respond or show support especially because (thank u trust issues and trauma (/s) the window of vulnerability is SMALL (I’m talking a couple of seconds literally) before they’re joking and changing the subject

Also a small (but frankly compared to the rest of this, not very important) detail is that like I previously mentioned I am also not suuuper happy with my body ( I don’t sh really or have an ED in any way shape or form) and sometimes the stuff he says slightly upsets me (just like once I told him about how my mean grandma told me I was fat and had to eat less and he said his grandma forces him to eat more and that my grandma ‘sounds like her wet dream’ - I know this was just a joke obviously but I didn’t rlly love it considering my grandma is a pretty big source of my looks based insecurities)

like I said in no way is it on the same level and obviously I know it’s not coming from a place of malice because this friend also really looks out for my mental health like way more than my other friends tbh (I don’t know if it’s bc they struggled with it or whether they’re the only one who seems to notice I’m the therapist friend haha but they are the FIRST person to ask if anything’s wrong if I’m acting different and I rlly want to stress that because I know that from what I’ve said so far they may have come across as selfish or something but they are actually one of the kindest people ever) that’s especially why I’m worried if I bring anything up about wanting to help with little things or especially anything about not being a fan of little jokes that she’ll just stop talking about it at all in an attempt to make me feel more comfortable)

for context for all of this, I’m 15 (we both are) so still in school and they’re parents absolutely SUCK (in the most non violent way possible I would like to kill them [not actually but I do really hate them and wish them only the worst]) so there’s no emotional support coming from home for him

I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this in real life because (for privacy reasons) they’ve asked me not to share it with like my other friends and I don’t have the greatest relationship with my parents (they’re not like abusive or neglectful or anything but we just have a lot of differences and just I’ve very much emotionally distanced myself from them)

sorry if this is too much because I do know it’s a really tricky situation and even though all of us sort of deify you, you’re still only one person and if this does make you uncomfortable or upset (not just if it’s triggering I mean just in general if you’re reading this and you don’t feel comfortable) in anyway please don’t force yourself to answer or feel guilty if you don’t because the last thing I’d want to do is put you in that kind of position

Im not sure if ill send in more anons but if I do then ill refer to myself (and you can call me) lacy anon so you know who I am (yes after the song bc i rlly love it haha)

Anyway sending lots and lots of love from the person who does basically look up to you as their adult role model and who I wanna be like when I’m older <3

Hi love! You're not bothering me at all!

So, first, I want to let you know that I am an adult, but when I say this, I hope you don't take it as...condescending, I guess? Because I don't mean it that way at all. I want to be realistic in the fact that these things you are dealing with are VERY grown-up and scary, and you are handling them in a remarkably mature way, but you are still legally fifteen.

This is way too much for a fifteen year old to take on.

You genuinely seem like the most amazing person. The fact that you have done research and carry around things for your friends, all to help them with their ED is frankly restoring my faith in humanity a bit. But I worry that you are placing WAY too much of the responsibility on yourself. I don't mean to be bleak or too blunt, but if god forbid anything ever happened, I would hate for you to blame yourself, and it sounds like you would. Your job is to be this person's friend. Not their therapist or caretaker.

So, here's my advice: I absolutely agree that you should not give up on them! But make sure you have boundaries. It broke my heart to read that you were going to places like anablr just to help- that's not healthy for you! As a friend, especially at your age, your most important job is to make sure your friend doesn't feel alone. And you're doing an amazing job, in my opinion. They seem to be willing to talk to you, and that's a big deal. But, in the best way, you are fifteen, and you don't have to have all the answers! Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to remind them that they are loved and they have someone in their corner. BUT remember that being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself or your mental health. Say something if a joke makes you uncomfortable. "I love you so much, but that joke makes me feel uncomfortable. Can you maybe not joke like that?" It's okay and healthy to set those boundaries.

Please remember, you are not responsible for this person. You can love them and be there for them and care deeply, but you are responsible for you and your own health. Don't forget you.

My last very gentle suggestion is this: If you ever get to the point that you are so genuinely worried about this friend that you think it is a life-or-death situation, please don't take that on by yourself. I know it is scary, and I know that telling adults mean that there can be ramifications, but remember that if you are genuinely scared, then an adult needs to be there to keep everyone safe. Very bluntly: Trust can be rebuilt but you can't bring people back from some other very permanent decisions.

Again, you are a wonderful person, and a fantastic friend. But remember to take yourself into account and stay safe in all ways. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I hope maybe you'll consider it.

Sending so much love! <3 <3 <3

[keezybees]

Hi! I follow you across social media and I really love your art and am super looking forward to reading Hello Sunshine! I wanted to reach out because I'm also Bipolar and I really appreciate the work you do to spread awareness about it but there's something that I find kind of harmful in how you talk about it, and it's just the insistance that it absolutely can't be treated through non-medical means. I fully understand that meds are life-saving and that depending on the severity of symptoms, length, and frequency of episodes, going without medication can be lethal. However, as someone with Bipolar I but controlled symptoms (and frankly symptoms that seem a lot less disruptive than yours, I'm sorry), hearing that there's no path forward without medication would easily have triggered suicidal thoughts when I was younger. There are a lot of reasons why people can't be medicated (for me it was a combination of family control and financial struggle), but hearing at your lowest that there's no way forward without something that you can't have is really damaging. I think it's totally possible to stress the importance of medical access and the need to work with your medical provider without erasing the ways that non-medical treatments can also be life-saving, depending on a person's situation/symptoms/etc and that some people can live full lives even if their symptoms aren't fully controlled. Anyway, I love your work and I just wanted to raise this alternate perspective because I think you're helping a lot of people, but I also think a lot of people can be harmed by this rhetoric, especially marginalized people who can't seek medication for any number of factors beyond their control.

Hi Anon! I totally hear what you're saying, and so I just wanted to run through a few things to clarify my stance, both for you and for others who might be reading this (omg I am SO sorry this is so long though haha):

I do emphasize treatment a lot, because I think it's really important for people to work with professionals to find ways to manage their illness. This is partly due to my own experience (I avoided treatment for a looong time) and anecdotally, but also because the research we have is pretty clear--untreated bipolar has much, much worse outcomes for a vast majority of people. However! When I say treatment, I don't necessarily mean medication, and certainly not only medication! I absolutely think some people (though it is sadly rare) can find ways of managing their illness medication-free. I just feel that it's best to do this work with the help of professionals + peers (whether that's a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, social worker, support group, etc) who can help you find your way, and help you manage symptoms that do crop up (this is especially true if you're currently on medication and choosing to go off of it, since that can come with physical risks). I could definitely stand to make this distinction a lot clearer though, and I'll try to be more mindful of it in the future.

I also can definitely see how my words could imply that I think non-medication ways of treating bipolar aren't valuable, and I'll work on my phrasing going forward, because they absolutely are! My aim is not to dismiss stuff like self-help or lifestyle changes or meditation or exercise, because I think they're great--for example, that kind of stuff has helped a ton with my anxiety and overall quality of life, and I know for a lot of people they help with their bipolar symptoms. But for me, these things simply don't have much of an impact on the bipolar, and our culture's emphasis on them frustrates me because it prevented me from getting proper care for a very long time, and made me feel like a failure for not being able to control my symptoms despite working so hard. So I'll also try to be more clear in the future about whether I'm venting about my own situation vs speaking broadly.

I also definitely hope I've never said anything that implies that our symptoms are inevitably life-ruining! My symptoms aren't completely controlled (particularly my lows), either, and I like to think I live a pretty good life. I think for many people un-treated bipolar can be life-ruining, and I've just heard too many stories about people who thought they could manage on their own only to have an absolutely devastating manic episode to not warn people of the risk. But most of us will continue to experience some degree of symptoms throughout our lives, absolutely.

I totally understand why someone would want to go med-free, or at least try it, and I in no way think the medications we have now are flawless haha. Side effects are awful, life-changing, and can even be life-threatening (I've had some horrible experiences with side effects myself); the meds we have now aren't very effective against depressive episodes for a lot of people (myself included), and for some people they're not effective at all; meds for most people don't completely eradicate symptoms, etc. I'm fully on board with the med struggle, and I honestly spend a lot of time criticizing the options available to us, though less so publicly, since I don't want to further stigmatize the idea of taking psych meds in general!

One of the reasons I emphasize medication (when I do emphasize meds, specifically) is because when I was younger, I was terrified of even the idea of them. I avoided it for years and really, really suffered because of it. I think our culture does in general look down on psych meds, particularly the kind we usually take, so I'm trying to destigmatize the concept of them, and emphasize for people with similar fears that taking meds can be just as life-saving and healing as they are harmful and frustrating, and that it's at least worth trying.

I'm a YA cartoonist (and former teacher, barista at a youth coffeehouse, tutor, I worked for a kids' gaming website...actually all of my jobs apart from dishwashing have involved kids, now that I think of it lmao), so a lot of the time when I'm talking about this stuff on social media, my target audience is sort of...very young people and kids who think they have bipolar (or may have even been diagnosed) but are afraid to seek help and/or don't think they need help and/or don't think help is going to actually help. So my goal is to demystify and normalize the idea of taking meds and/or seeking treatment for those people, and to emphasize that just because they're able to manage their illness now, that might change in the future, and imo they need to be aware of the very real risks, which includes things like an incredibly high suicide rate for unmedicated individuals, and the reality that the illness can be progressive (episodes can get worse and harder to treat the more you have them--they certainly did for me, and I wish I had been more open to the idea much earlier).

On a similar note, it's also important to recognize that a lot of things can look like bipolar, and a lot of people don't really know what bipolar actually looks like to begin with (particularly if you're getting your info from tiktok or similar). So if you've self-diagnosed and never explored treatment options (emphasis on options!) you can easily be missing stuff like thyroid issues, epilepsy, brain tumors, vitamin deficiencies, or a myriad of other treatable mental illnesses that mimic bipolar, and I strongly believe that people deserve care and help for whatever they're struggling with, including the possibility that it isn't bipolar at all!

Finally, I truly hope I've never said anything that comes off like I'm looking down on or judging people who choose to not be medicated for whatever reason! If it works for you then that's phenomenal (I'm jealous tbh) but it's honestly none of my business haha. When I talk about this stuff I do try to stress most people, because we're of course not a monolith, and when I say something like 'a majority of people with bipolar will need some form of medication to flourish' I don't mean to dismiss those who aren't in that majority. It's more that I want people to be open to the idea that they're not failures for needing meds, that they're actually in very good company, as well as to combat the 'just meditate! or try harder!' narrative that's so prevalent in our culture.

Edit: one last thought, which is that part of my target audience is also parents or guardians whose kids might be struggling--kids are obviously the group with the least access to treatment on their own terms. My hope is that talking about my experiences and discussing the risks will help motivate guardians to get help for their kids, and also help motivate kids to seek their own treatment as soon as they're able. Most people develop bipolar in their late teens and early 20s (though my first hypomanic ep was at 16), so it's a relatively small percentage of folks in this situation, but I do see how a kid whose parents aren't willing to help them could take my words badly, so I'll try to keep that in mind!

I'm definitely going to be more careful about how I phrase things going forward, because I can absolutely see how my intent could be lost. Hopefully this clears things up a bit (although it's also possible that we simply disagree, and I think that's okay too--like I said, our community is not a monolith, and a lot of these conversations are fundamentally ongoing)!

tldr; I'll make an effort to watch my words so that it's clear that my target audience really isn't my bipolar peers, and that the target of my criticisms is anti-medication wellness culture + psych med stigma, not the concept of non-medication alternatives or additions in general. And I'll try to do a better job of highlighting when I'm speaking only for myself vs our community as a whole!

[sarnai4]

Prison Again

I am a major fan of Dragons, but I'll admit it's rife with plot points that don't get fully used in my eyes. Another one of those was in "Something Rotten on Berserker Island." Dagur's turned on by his Berserkers and imprisoned. This all happens pretty quickly. There's the revolt, he's put in prison, Snotlout breaks him out, and they become the dynamic duo, powering my love of their friendship (that I STILL don't think was shown enough, but okay. That's what fanfics are for, I guess). Still, there's so much that could have happened.

First off, Savage shouldn't have done the coup that day. Of all the days, he literally picked the time when the Berkians were going to show up. Seriously? That's the equivalent of trying to usurp the throne the same day when some of the king's best allies are coming for a special feast. The level of arrogance/stupidity is hilarious.

The next factor is how Dagur's fear was proven true. He admitted that the reason he let people think he killed Oswald was so that they'd think he was tough enough to lead them. That's another way of saying he didn't think they'd believe he was tough enough if he simply took over. He couldn't just be himself. That wouldn't work. They wouldn't respect him. He had to be Dagur the Deranged, the feared chief. So, he goes against his own beliefs when he turns good. He tries out the alternative he could have the first time...and he was right. They didn't respect him. As soon as he stops being evil and threatening to his people, they turn on him. Sure, not everyone does, but I also wish we got a better idea of how many were part of this coup. It's even the first time since turning good that we see him interact with the other Berserkers again. This would be devastating. You finally turn over a new leaf to become a good person and the people you've been trying to lead just throw you in a cell. What makes this hurt even more is how much Berserkers value loyalty. This is what Dagur was teaching Heather. It's why he was shocked that the Hunters deserted. Loyalty is important in that culture, but they blatantly disregarded this to betray him. Lastly, the icing on the pain cake is that he really does care about his Vikings. Even back when he was a mean kid, there were signs that he cared. I often think back to the Skrill ordeal. Alvin referred to the dragon as his. When Dagur corrected him, he said it was theirs (referring to his Berserkers too). Easily, Dagur could've just been thinking about himself, but he was still thinking about his group as a whole. So, even bad Dagur did care about them. Imagine how much of a blow that would be to get betrayed after he tried to openly treat them with kindness.

A bigger part of this to me is the fact that Dagur didn't just get put into a cell. With context, he'd spent 3 years locked up, broke his people out, then some or all of them might have just put him right back in. We really don't know the type of mental toll that took on him. Sure, it's pretty obvious that it messed him up, but that's why this scene to me matters so much. There's the emotional betrayal combined with the fact that he probably promised himself he'd never become a prisoner again. Unlike others who have tried, the Berserkers even use the smartest way to apprehend him. The Outcasts had him in the cell, relatively free, and the Hunters and Riders tied him up. Neither option worked, but the Berserkers use chains because they know him and are more aware of what he's capable of. Sadly, if anyone could have probably kept him in prison for the rest of his life, I think it's the Vikings who have been around him his entire life.

The last thing from the episode that I wanted to see was what happened to the traitors. We never find out what Savage's fate was. Did he get executed? Imprisoned? Could have been either, but it's never mentioned. I just feel like there's a lot of potential where Dagur's made a prisoner again, but it's by his own Vikings. So, one of these days, I'll make it into a fanfic.

[idkanametoputhere]

the last dance

character: rook hunt

pronouns: they/them

genre: fluffy angst

warning: idk they're about to die or something?

"in an alternative universe where the fire lotuses were not destroyed and Rollo succeeded, two young lovers find themselves sharing their last dance"

masterlist<3

the darkness of the night is broken by the light of the fire lotuses. beautiful, red flowers that burn brightly and lighten up this terrible scene

locals and visitors alike are passed put on the ground, their bodies engulfed by the flowers, while he stands by the Bell of Solace, grinning down like a god at the catastrophe he created

and inside a small room in Noble Bell College sit two students, hugging eachother

they originally locked themselves in there for safety, but now the burning flowers have reached them, and the student can feel their magic being sucked out of them

"mon amour" said the young blonde boy. "I believe this will be the last moment when we can use our magic" he says as he tightens his arms around his lover. "its a tragedy. the beauty of magic will be taken away from us. oh great seven, why are you doing this to us?" asks the young hunter to no one in particular

"we won't be able to attend Night Raven College anymore.." said his partner. "dear, I doubt we won't be separated.. I don't know where I'll go" they say quietly and look down with a solemn expression. "I don't know if or when I might see you again, Rook"

a dark look falls upon Rook's face. "ma chérie, I knew it was too good to be true" he sighs. "my love.." they look at him. "we had such great plans for this trip. we were so excited for the masquerade" they say sadly

they look down, then hesitantly speak. "what if..what if magic is holding me here, in this universe? and once these flowers are done with their job, I'll go back to my world?" they ask as they lift their head to look at him. "I might lose you"

they both stay silent for a few moments, looking at eachother. "well then, dearest" he say with a sad smile, then stands up. "allow me to have a final dance with you" he extends his hand towards them

they look up at him, dumbfounded. but then they smile and nod, getting up to join him. they both get ready to dance with their lover, probably for the last time

admittedly, the room isn't ideal for this, it's too small, too cramped, but the two don't care as they dance silently. neither one dares to speak, as if the silence between them is holy, or a precious artifact that will break with the slightest sound

they're both hurting, mentally and physically. the magic being stripped for them is causing them to feel weak, but they try to ignore it. the mental pain is worse. their whole reality is being flipped upside down, because they didn't realise Rollo's vicious plan in time

"mon amour" whispers the hunter as he looks at his partner, who suddenly feels lighter. "you're disappearing" he whispers tearfully. his partner looks back at him with the same pained expression. "I know, dear, I know" they say and rest their forehead against his

"let's just enjoy the time we have left together" they whisper and holding closer, no longer dancing. the two just hold eachother close, scared. "I love you" he whispers. "I love you too" they whisper back

and then only one person is in the room. the young hunter. his lover is gone. soon enough he passes out from the exhaustion of the fire lotuses draining his magic

when he wakes up at a hospital he's crushed. his lover is gone. when he goes back to night raven college to collect his things, he refuses to answer any questions about that dreaded night. it's a night he wants to forget, but also wants to keep in his heart, for it's the last time he saw his lover

and his lover? well, they woke up in their bedroom, confused. they're sad, but they don't know why. it's weird, but they shrug it off as them having a bad dream, as they stand up

and yet, their hand still finds its way around the necklace with a little bow and arrow charm hanging around their neck

a/n: I wrote half of this at school during like 2-3 periods. anywho HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope this year treats all of you well and that you will be healthy and happy<3