#but really it's more about the value of a single bond of friendship

[leonawriter]

Thinking about the engine room again, and how the difference between Akechi living (wanting to live) and dying (being satisfied with this sort of end) isn't how invested he is in Joker, but how invested Joker is in him.

Although he instigated the confidant, and although in vanilla he constantly kept seeking Akira out, it's only in Royal's max confidant that he has the impetus to fight back.

Simple thing, right?

Because the reason is even stated earlier in the same scene, that Akechi would do "[anything] just so someone would want me around!" - so if he hasn't put the effort into creating a two-sided bond with Akira before this, he feels that this need is never going to be fulfilled, and effectively that no matter how much he himself wants anyone else, no one will care about him enough for his continued life to matter.

What keeps him around, gives him the will to fight and endure on, is quite literally the promise Akira makes him. That "I'll hold onto your glove" isn't just asking for a rematch, or the "no, don't go!" that in their situation wouldn't be weird; it's the culmination of their bond expressed like that, in a way that gets Akechi to realise that someone really does want him around the same way (better than, even) he'd been searching for in all the wrong places up to then.

It's down to Akechi asking for Akira's number, Akira keeping on meeting up, and neither of them giving up on the other even when it might have been easy to. I think it's important, really, that Akechi's the one who starts it off, because in a sense he's taking a leap of faith and hoping that it pays off, especially when he seems to "not have time for" other friendships.

I'm reminded of BSD Atsushi saying "People have to be told that it's alright for them to live," and how you as the player gave no option but to do so for Akechi if you've maxed his confidant. Joker WILL give him that reason to keep fighting, one way or another, if they're close enough for him to do so.

And Akechi will go from feeling like he might as well die in this place, to realising that... for whatever reason, in ways only they can understand, he hasn't been able to push even just this one person away from him. No matter what he's done, who he's hurt, what he's said. He doesn't just have words, but an understanding of Akira's character and experiences that back up him saying "I want you alive [for our rematch], isn't that enough of a reason to stay alive?"

And, judging by the view out of the train window in the true ending, it is.

[idkwhathatmeans]

zack addy might be absent from the later seasons but his impact is so huge like…

his impact on hodgins’ perception of friendships. hodgins became more closed off for a while after zack left, but later remembered the value of finding joy in your work and establishing trusting connections with other people - and zack was the person who introduced him to that

honestly zack brought hodgins out of his angry, distrusting shell so much, he’s probably part of the reason that hodgins became open and happy enough to get into a relationship with angela <3

the way booth went from deeply disliking zack to being very understanding of the "squints" in later seasons. he didn’t do good by zack, but he massively changed after.

the lab never having a single, consistent intern again… constant references to zack as the best intern that no one can live up to

brennan learning that logic isn’t the be all & end all, and that emotion can have its place, due to zack’s "logical" justifications for his actions (she talks about this in the season 4 opening)

cam seriously changed a lot after zack had to leave… it really hit her hard for a long time. she clearly was beating herself up about not seeing the signs.

at the same time, it oddly helped cam bond more with the rest of the team. they all grew a lot closer, her included.

zack was only consistently in the show for 3 seasons, just 1/4 of the show’s run, but he’s so central to the show even years after he left :(

[pompettepink]

Type of men NOT to date

Dating in the 2020's is so rough! It feels like so many people are just looking for hookups and too many women are getting forced into "situationships" in the hopes that "more" will come out of it, but "more" never happens. Ladies, save yourselves the heartache and leave these type of low level men ALONE

A man who asks "what you bring to the table"

He is thinking transactionally. He wants to know beforehand what act of service he can expect from you in the future. Whatever comes out of your mouth will be his checklist in the relationship and he WILL bring it up when you "fail to meet expectations".

A man who disrupts your peace

A man who is prone to fits of rage and refuses to seek help will take you down with him. He will actively work to destroy your self worth and possessions. Any man coming into your life MUST be giving you peace that is BETTER than the peace you find within yourself.

A man with low quality friends

There's a very high chance that if a man is in his mid to late 20s and is still friends with his highschool buddies they are actively holding him back. There needs to be far more substance in a male friendship than bonding over a band one time in a 10th grade science class. Having old time friends is amazing, but everyone in the friend group should be maturing at the same pace and having adult conversations and not just sharing their girlfriends nudes with the homies in the groupchat

A man who listens to Bro Podcasters

Self explanatory. There should be NO reason that a man sees value in anything a violent misogynist has to say. It is NOT NORMAL for a man to take lifestyle advice from broken men who are NOT living the lifestyle they're advocating for (monogamous long term relationship with the intention of marriage and providing for their wife and kids). Unless he is compiling information to loudly denounce those views and see those podcasters as an enemy of men, you have no business dating someone like that

A man who idolizes 50/50 relationships

Expecting your partner to go 50/50 with everything and anything is insecure and immature. In reality you can't ALWAYS split the bills. Sometimes things come up. Like card only payments, cash only payments, misplaced wallet, dead phone, payment deadline, accidents etc etc. If he expects every instance involving money to be split into two equal bills he WILL be resentful towards you if you fail to deliver. He should also be more than happy to spoil you when he can and pay in full

A man who struggles building relationships with women

You aren't going to be any different just because he's fucking you. And this isn't about a struggle that results from trauma (abusive mom). This is about ANY woman in his life. If he can't connect with his sisters and can't "really" explain "why", or if he's never had a female friend, that's a red flag. It's most likely that he can't build relationships with women who he isn't sexually attracted to, making him more likely to misconstrued any interaction with a pretty woman as grounds to cheat

An unkempt man

He doesn't need to be the world's best dresser, but he MUST care about his appearance. You two will be seen together constantly and in social settings others will view you as a single unit. You are doing a disservice to yourself by being with a man who has a hands-off attitude with the way he presents himself and always choices to go out with wrinkled stained clothes, dirty hair, a smelly outfit, and a wardrobe full of holes and filth

A man who moves too fast

Why is this man trying to get you into bed yet he doesn't even know your last name? Casual flings are totally fine and super appropriate for any adult to be a part of. But if you're looking to seriously date you HAVE to be picky. Even if your connection is magnetic off the bat restraint should be shown until the commitment is there. If you tell him you only want to have sex with a committed man and he gets mad, pressures you, or asks you to be official on the spot and then have sex afterwards, he just wants to orgasm, nothing more

A man who's all talk and no action

If a man talks about how close he feels to you, but doesn't try to commit, he's keeping you away from love. If a man romantically messages you everyday, but doesn't take you on a date, he's a pen pal. If he's always talking about going for a big promotion, but doesn't put in the work the position requires, he's just a job holder. Actions speak louder than words and if he wanted to, he would

A man who struggles with handling you

Far too many men couple up with talented, sexy, smart, extrovert women, then try to change them when they become official because they can't keep up with her. If she was a sexy dresser BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If she was always having deeply intellectual conversations BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If she had a large group of friends that she loved hanging out with BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If he can't keep up with you then he shouldn't take up space in your circle

A man who is incompetent with chores

Need I say more? Chores aren't rocket science. If he can't cook a meal from start to finish you'll be forced to be his personal chef. If he can't do a load of laundry you'll be forced to be his laundromat. If he doesn't know how to sweep, mop, or vacuum you'll be forced to be his maid. Never choose to be a servant when well rounded men exist in the dating pool

A man who doesn't boast about you

He should be proud to have you as his partner. Everyone in his life should know that you two are dating. He should want to walk behind you and open doors for you so that everyone can see you before they see him. He should always want to hold your hand and feel disgusted when other people hit on him. If he says he "lives a private life" and doesn't want to post you on his social media or be seen kissing you in public it's because he doesn't want his wife and other girlfriend to catch him cheating

Never let anyone convince you that it's impossible to find a man of quality because "your standards are too high". You're the prize and for your sake you should never expect the bare minimum for love

[dutchdread]

“She is is envious of the bond Cloud has with Tifa”

Genuine question here because I see a lot of CloTi discourse talk about how Aerith is envious of Cloud and Tifa’s bond, but is this ever mentioned officially or explained? I can’t find one single inference or implication that she is, only that one could argue via subjective interpretation that she maybe wants to try to learn Cloud for who he is and not who he reminds her of.

Arguably, one could say that this interpretation is inherently describing an envy, but I’m looking at it from the perspective of Aerith wanting to learn who Cloud is in an effort to like him for him and not Zack.

(Full disclosure: I’m actually a huge CloTi, but I’ve been out of the fandom for a decade+, and I’ve been reading a lot of discussions on the LTD, and while my personal opinion is that CloTi is more or less canonical at this point, the nuance that they’ve developed with Aerith that just wasn’t there in OG is interesting/perplexing to me because I don’t have a full scope of info. And I like it when things are proven by the devs. It’s possible that there’s information I’m missing or have missed, but otherwise what I have consumed doesn’t seem to indicate she’s envious of Cloud/Tifa’s relationship specifically.)

The idea that Aerith is envious of Cloud and Tifas bond became a thing mostly after Rebirth. Before that it was also put forth at times when someone did a character study of Aerith and the evidence back then was mostly just that it fit and made sense. In essence it was an amateur diagnosis. We saw in Remake that Aerith had unresolved issues concerning her childhood during the Eligor scene, that combined with what we learned about her childhood in TotP made it so that a lot of her outgoing "life affirming" behavior made a lot of sense if she was, in essence, trying to catch up for lost time. She's enthusiastically, perhaps even desperately, trying to have the same experiences everyone else has, to have a normal life. This is also congruent with other parts of the story, like her seeing Zack in Cloud. If Cloud reminds her of Zack, and she had a bond with Zack, then watching Cloud and Tifa express that same young love that she once felt would naturally lead to her wishing she had that. After all, we've known for a long time that Aerith still isn't over Zack, so her being slightly envious of that is natural. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can be happy someone has something and because of that have a positive longing to experience something similar. But where this was really made explicit is in Rebirth, where there are multiple scenes that hint or outright state that Aerith wishes she had something like what Cloud and Tifa have. The main two being the Kalm "date" and the watertower discussion. In Kalm Aerith takes Cloud on a date as a pretense to talk about the prior night, and almost the first thing she does is mention Cloud and Tifas friendship and mention that she'd have given anything to have a friend when she was growing up. As soon as she thinks of their bond her first thought is to link it to her own desires.

She continues by saying to not take Tifa for granted. Since this is something Aerith lacked she thinks it's important, and the idea of it being sullied or undermined instinctively bothers her. She wants them to value it as much as she would value such a thing. This is not her living vicariously through Cloud and Tifa or anything, but just a small nuance that paints the picture of a girl who yearns for these bonds herself enough that she is hyper aware of them with other people. All this is then stated explicitly on the water tower, where Aerith states: "Must be nice..."

She generally willfully daydreams about how nice Nibelheim is. It all paints the same picture, a girl without a childhood who never got to experience the things that Cloud and Tifa had and lost, but wishes that she did. This is a huge part of her character and establishes the background needed to understand stuff like "no promises to keep". Some people are upset that NPTK is not a love song from Aerith to Cloud, but a deeper look into Aerith shows why it would be weird for it to be one. Because Aeriths journey isn't about romance, it isn't even just about Cloud. It's about her experiencing and developing the bonds that she felt she was denied for so long. The song is "even about Tifa and Barret" because it's about all the precious bonds she made on her journey. It's one of the things that makes Clotis version of Aerith superior to the Clerith version, because we give her so many more layers.

[slayerkitty]

Let's Talk About Trust, Baby

I've seen a lot of posts where people are really confused about Mew and where his head might be at with regard to his relationship with Top. Why he hasn't given Top the boyfriend title back, why they haven't had sex yet, etc. That led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about the relationships between the characters and the one thing all relationships need to function - TRUST. If you don't trust your significant other or your friends/family, etc, what kind of relationship can you even have? I tried to break this down in groups/pairs and some of it might not be as thought out, so there may be more on this as the show goes on but here we go.

The Fab Four

So there's a lot of context we're missing about the relationships between our core four dysfunctional besties (Note: So far, Cheum doesn't seem that dysfunctional, you're doing amazing sweetie!) such as how they met, how long have they been friends (what the hell Ray and Mew got up to that one night... *ahem* I digress). Now, we don't have any real answers to these questions (yet) so I'm taking some educated guesses based on my own college experiences and what I've generally picked up from other university BLs typical story telling.

I feel like the four of them met during orientation (except maybe Ray and Mew, I'm waffling on thoughts that they've known each other since high school). Most university BLs set it up that the mains meet during orientation, bond during whatever torture the seniors are putting the freshman through and kind of build their friend groups based on that.

I also feel like they may have gravitated toward each other or remained a group because they're all queer. BLs can go either way on whether or not homophobia exists in their narrative and I think that Only Friends is going the more realistic route (and it's Jojo) so I think that I can definitely see them bonding over being queer. They find an LGBTQ bar and it becomes their thing to do together. Most friendship groups form because people just sort of fall in together due to circumstance and they seem no different.

But do they trust each other? Signs point to yes. (I was shocked too, lol)

Mew and Cheum: We haven't had much focus on her, but he seems to value her opinion and listen to her advice. (We also know that April likes him from the time they've spent together and he likes April, so I would say he and Cheum probably have pretty good trust built up.)

Mew and Boston: He believed without a single doubt when Boston said that Top had never had a lover longer than 3 months and that Top would probably, as Ray put it "nail and bail" once Mew and Top have sex. Cheum also believed Boston. Do I think Boston was lying here? No. But neither do they and that's important. Does Boston trust Mew? I think he does. His issues with Mew are not about trust.

Mew and Ray: These two vibe a little different than the rest of the group. They seem closer; they seem like they've talked about "the deep stuff" (vs maybe superficial topics with their other friends). Their first one on one scene has them talking about Ray's alcoholism seriously (even though Mew doesn't push about it as much as I would have liked) and you can tell there's an intimacy there that the other group members don't share. Whether that stems from whatever it is that happened that night in the video (I am salivating about this, it's delicious, I need more info) or because they've been friends for longer, I don't know.

Let's move on to the pairs:

Cheum and April: Do they trust each other? I assume so? Cheum goes out drinking with the boys at least once a week and April seems okay with that (we haven't heard otherwise), so I'll say yes? (Jojo, I NEED MORE OF THEM. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN ANALYZE. GIVE US MORE.)

Sand and Ray: I'm gonna call this one as Sand does not trust Ray, but Ray trusts Sand. Sand knows that Ray is a walking red flag and he's trying to resist but Ray is making it really hard. *ahem* Ray bailing mid-make out is not helping Sand's trust issue. If you look at how Sand has cared for Ray since episode one, however, Ray most likely trusts Sand. I mean, Ray talked about his mom to Sand. I think that's a biiiig deal.

Mew and Top: Thanks to Boston, neither of them trusts the other. And this, right here, is why Mew has not moved the relationship forward. HE DOESN'T TRUST TOP. He's still worried that Top will "nail and bail". Remember Mew's checklist from episode two? He only checks off "gets along with my friends" (HAH!) and "respects me" but not "doesn't lie to me". We can infer this means it hasn't been marked off since he doesn't mention it to anyone in this episode. Given that a lot of us clocked Mew potentially spotting Boston's trunks on the floor in the shower, along with him questioning if Top was telling the truth about the fire, it's clear this is the one thing holding him back.

If Mew agrees to be Top's boyfriend, then the expectation of sex becomes a lot higher (it shouldn't but that's a different discussion to be had). It's also implied in the narrative (and from Jojo) that Mew is a very structured person and he doesn't like to lose control (re-watch the counter scene from episode one. You know you want to. I'll wait). The moment that Mew realizes that he is way too into what they're doing, he panics because he doesn't have control over the situation.

Up until episode three, Top did trust Mew. He trusted him enough to get vulnerable and then Boston blew it up by fabricating a narrative backed with evidence of...something between Ray and Mew (I'm seriously dying for this scene, I need it).

Another thing I am having thoughts about is that in this episode, Top referred to himself as Mew's boyfriend and so did Cheum and Mew didn't deny it like he did in episode two. When Top's *ahem* "buddy" approached them at the silent disco, it was very clear that Mew expected Top to introduce Mew as his boyfriend and was visibly (if momentarily) upset that he didn't.

Boston and Nick: Yes and no, but also no and no, respectively. So Boston trusts Nick with some things but not everything which leads to him lying, gaslighting and manipulating (he's a triple threat). In turn, Nick lies right back, because what else can he do? (a lot of things actually, oh Nick, you are starting to spiral hard.) This leads Nick to rigging the CCTV video to show on his phone and to wiretap Boston's car, which just shows you his trust in Boston is non-existent.

In conclusion: Trust is another theme the show seems to be exploring: earning it, keeping it, and what you do after trust is broken. I think it can tie back into the ongoing ephemerality discussion as well: trust isn't permanent. You have to earn it, maintain it, and once broken, it's gone (and seldom can be repaired).

Also, everyone needs therapy.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @ranchthoughts, @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Hope I didn't forget anyone!

[chodzacaparodia]

Why doesn't a great character like Chifuyu Matsuno have a significant other? After all, we know he's the best boy and deserves all the love in the world.

He would be the perfect boyfriend who would certainly take care of his lover. If he wanted to, he could certainly find someone without a problem.

But for him, friends always came first, not romantic love.

When Ryusei's mom asked him about the girlfriend, he admitted he wasn't interested. And then he really wasn't. He had just met Baji, a guy he admired and somewhat his first true friend, who would show him the importance of male bonding by introducing him to the world of the gang. It was also then that he devoted all his energy to the matter with Ryusei, who he was worried about. Friendship was important to him. Toman was important to him. Dating was the last thing on his mind back then.

The woman kind of predicted that he would never have a girlfriend. Because just as he focused on Baji, Ryusei and all Toman then, his commitment to his friends was present in his life all the time and became even stronger. 

It's not that Chifuyu doesn't want a partner in life at all. He imagined he would still have his old hairstyle when he got married. He believed that in the future he would have a wife. But in his mind, it was all going to happen in the indefinite future. 

And he actually seemed a bit salty about being single. He even envied Takemichi that he had a girlfriend because he didn't have one himself. And he wasn't going to have a significant other in the future that we know of. 

Why didn't he find himself a date for Christmas? Because he was focused on helping Takemichi save Toman from a terrible future. Because he wanted to help all his friends and protect them. And since then, he has consistently focused on desperate attempts to save his friends, focusing his entire life on it.

Chifuyu took the "bros before h*es" rule to a whole new level. He placed his friends in such high regard that he did not even allow himself to have a love life. His friends are the most important in his life and he will always devote himself to them the most. He was ready to give his life for them.  He did sacrifice himself for them. Many times. He entrusted his life to them so much that he did not allow himself to have anything but friendship.

Even if he was in a relationship, he would still put his friends first (although I'm still pretty sure Chifuyu wouldn't date someone he didn't befriend first). He values friendship more than his love life, because his friends are his whole life.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.213 thoughts

[The End of the Beginning of the End]

(Contents: Criticism - pacing, praise - Fuuko's speech)

I'm so tempted to just say that this chapter should have been what I predicted last week, hit post, and never say anything again to anyone ever, but I feel like that would be doing a disservice to everyone involved, most notably myself, so I'm going to try to give this chapter a fair and partial evaluation to the best of my ability

As other readers have said over the course of this week, I feel that this chapter was, in and of itself, fine, it's just mistimed. What the Unchaste Arc (if you can even call it that...) needed was a capstone focusing on Kururu. I won't go over how that would have looked since I went into detail on it last week, but it's extremely evident that that's the missing piece here on the basis that she's still clearly an antagonist in this chapter

Kururu does not have a single line, but she spends the entire chapter picking a fight with Julia and baring her fangs (which I'm glad she still has, to be clear), so Fuuko's entire speech about how all of the Negators used to be enemies but are now friends rings somewhat hollow

Fuuko mentions that Kururu told her Soul was the actual villain for this arc, but a) we didn't see that conversation, and b) that doesn't mean that she's on friendly terms with the team now. And if she is on friendly terms, then why a) weren't we shown that? and b) is she attacking Julia???

It's one thing for background events to be handwaved by omake on twitter or the collected volumes, but in my opinion this is central to not only the themes of the current arc, but the story as a whole. And I know Tozuka knows that. I've said it many times, Tozuka has earned my trust that he knows how to tell this story, all of my expectations for future events come from precedents that he's established, so when something like this happens, I have to wonder what's going on behind the scenes

Shonen Jump just got a new editor-in-chief, so it's possible that someone higher up the chain wasn't happy with the flow of this arc either and just wanted the slate cleaned, but that's entirely speculation. If I'm right though, that could also explain why the Bunny arc got wrapped up in a single panel, as it likely wasn't going to be "action-focused enough" for whoever wasn't vibing with the idol battle

In my opinion, this should have been a three-event chapter, like when Yusai, Isshin XII and Sean were recruited, with a third being about wrapping up Kururu's arc, a third being about Bunny's adoption (a lighthearted bit of cutesy comedy) and finally Fuuko's speech about Remember

Nico crying over Fuuko accepting this new version of himself as the same man was easily the highlight of the chapter, as it drives home what value using Remember has. We already saw from Nico regaining and perfecting Unforgettable that the memories don't overwrite the current self, they integrate and inform a more completed self. I've talked about the Looping mechanic introducing a sort of "reverse character development," but that development is still half-baked without the cast fully understanding the lies that they've overcome

I doubt we'll get a full scene dedicated to every single character reconciling with their memories, but even just a few of them remembering what they've lost rather than just understanding that they were supposed to lose anything will really change the flavor of their interactions going forward. There's a world of difference between Rip hearing that he's killed people and knowing who he killed, and the ability to strive to be something more comes from experience, not hearsay

All of the bonds that Fuuko has now are strong, but Nico knows firsthand just how much there was for those bonds to overcome. He's not simply her friend who doesn't remember her, he's someone who has helped and hurt her more than he could ever atone for, and she still forgave him. The weight of their friendship as it is now is all the more apparent after Nico could recall the actions that put that friendship to the test. For Fuuko to come see him when he was essentially a new man, think to herself "yes, this is the same man who put me through that," and then decide that that man was, after all was said and done, her friend...well, I'd cry too in Nico's position

And I imagine that everyone else will be much the same. For Shen to remember he sacrificed Gina, for Mui to remember she personally killed Shen, for Billy to remember betraying the Union only to be forgiven...everyone has a past that has informed who they are now, they just don't realize how much of an impact that it's had

And that's why it's so important that Fuuko waited until everyone had joined up to use it. Juiz once said that Remember was meant to reunite old allies, but that's not what Fuuko is using it for. If she did, she wouldn't be teaming up with the friends she "doesn't know yet does know," she'd only be teaming up with the friends she knows, invalidating the lives and choices of those she doesn't

If she simply revived their memories right off the bat, they'd pick up exactly where they left off, for better or worse. Billy and Rip may still hold everyone at arm's length, Sean may still resent everyone for being more important than him, Shen may still be motivated by revenge, etc. And worst of all, not everyone would be friends. Everyone was on mostly good terms by the end of L100, but Under was still Under and the Union was still the Union, separate entities for all intents and purposes

Now? It's just the Union. Everyone knows everyone, everyone is friends with everyone, and everyone knows more about themselves than they did before. The selves they know yet don't know are important tools for becoming better than they've ever been, lessons that they wouldn't have been willing to learn the first time around but are now retroactively open to

Fuuko is no longer turning complete strangers back into her friends, she's reminding her friends where they came from, and showing them how important their decision to be her friends truly is

No one is fighting God because of what he did to them anymore. They're fighting God because they believe it's the right thing to do, because they believe in Fuuko's vision of a better world. That's not an opinion they would have if she had used Remember on them, as their past ego would likely subsume their present, like Victor trying to erase Andy to resume control of their shared body, but now Fuuko has allowed them a strong enough sense of self to unify past and present into one complete future

The sentiment behind this chapter really can't be understated, which unfortunately is what makes its timing all the more frustrating. The fact that the Union isn't even all together means that this speech isn't actually hyping up how major it will be when Remember finally does get used, we already got that when Fuuko shared her vision of a 25-seat Roundtable, and instead it feels like it's priming her to fail. Like we're so close to seeing that vision fulfilled, how's it going to go wrong?

And if that's not what happens, then the timing is still wrong for one very simple reason: KURURU'S STILL NOT ONBOARD!!!

Everyone agreed to using Remember all at once, except for Kururu, who was still throwing an oddly silent fit in the background! "The friends I don't know yet do know"??? Kururu doesn't have any god damn clue who any of you are!!! She's the one person here who hasn't had that rapport built up, the one who doesn't have a reason to help Fuuko achieve anything, and the one who's motivations could still end up being overwritten simply because she hasn't developed a firmly established and differentiated ego! Granted, it doesn't seem like this one is too different from the last one anyway, but that's exactly the problem!!! We don't know the difference between the two Kururus because she's the only character who hasn't been given the opportunity to explain herself to the audience!!!

I mean, I guess Bunny hasn't either, but again, she at least has the naivete and optimism of a child who was freshly adopted, so we can at least somewhat justify her lack of characterization

I really, truly, deeply hope that Kururu gets the Feng treatment, that her development is just being put off for a more opportune moment, because if she's just going to be reduced to a background gag, then I will be sorely disappointed

That said, my love for Kururu ironically skyrocketed after this chapter, because now the Kururu I created in my mind, the Kururu I don't know yet do know, has much less chance of being replaced by the "true" Kururu from Tozuka's. While obviously I'd prefer to know authorial intent, Tozuka has inadvertently set Kururu aside and left me the opportunity to say "my character now," which is an oddly powerful way to form an attachment between character and reader

I should know, it's exactly what Oda did with Monet

Anyway, I think that's enough venting for this week. Here's hoping that next week's chapter will leave a better taste in my mouth

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[xplrvibes]

some people on twitter are getting really mad at colby for apparently ‘ditching’ shea for his new girl saying shit like oh he led shea on and now he’s pushed her away lol

they’re fully acting like he’s committed an awful crime like why are they cancelling him 😭

(side note - i’m actually, whole heartedly convinced that half of the fandom genuinely hates colby and everything he does fills them with rage lmfao)

This is going to be a one and done, on this topic. I don't like Shea, don't like what she's doing. Never did like her, as you all know, because she has been an absolutely awful and manipulative bully and generally trash person over the years and I don't want her taking up too much space on my blog because of it.

But I felt the need to just put this out there before I move on, so here we go, behind a cut for anyone who doesn't want to hear it lol.

You know, I find this whole "taking Shea on her word all of a sudden" thing interesting.

According to Shea, they had a 10 year (even though he was still living in Kansas 10 years ago) "on-again, off-again thing" that was "mostly just talking" and was "never official," although it was "almost dating, but not official" for 2 years (even though there hasn't been a 2 year period where Colby hasn't been at least seeing someone, if not hooking up).

She doesn't seem to know any of his friends and not a single one of them follow her on socials - in fact, most of them unfollowed her several years back. Of particular note is the fact that Sam, after all these years of her being Colby's future wife, still hasn't followed her back...but has followed several of the other girls Colby's been linked to over the years, including M.

She never seems to have a clue about what is going on in his life and has been promising (and not delivering) fans content with Colby for years now - including her telling everyone that her and Colby were going somewhere to film a documentary in January of this year when Colby had already told everyone on xplrclub that he and Sam were going to be in Vegas or in Texas filming in all of Jan and then in Australia for most of Feb. She promised to have him on one her streams on a day when he was actually in Hawaii, then another day when he was actually in Kansas visiting family.

She hasn't been invited to a single party or group gathering of theirs since 2019, save for one time when she visited Colby and Sam in Las Vegas - which came across as very awkward, given the above.

She complained about never getting invited to snc's Halloween parties - you know, the ones that have 500-1,000 invitees and snc have claimed include an invite to every single person they know and are friends with? Yet Colby's soul mate gets left on the list somehow, 6 years running?? (One year he had four different past flings there at once. But the future Mrs. Shea Brock just didn't make the cut somehow)

Oh, bonus: she once told a gc full of her fans that Colby asked her out, but she turned him down because she valued the friendship too much. Funny how those turns tabled.

Colby meanwhile, has never hidden that he considers himself single, does not think he's met "the one," uses Raya to find dates, hooks up and has flings....he's not just pretending to be single, he IS single.

So. to recap: They have had a 10 year friendship and emotional bond that Shea deluded herself into thinking was more. Colby comes around her again after having had a cancer that could've easily rendered him unable to have children, and her grand idea is to tell this guy she freely admits she was never even dating that she wants to cash in on some vague promise he may or may not have actually made to her about getting married and having CHILDREN???

I'd have left her ass, too.

But sure. He's the bad guy. By the way, to hear Shea tell it, Colby did the same thing to her that Sam did to Kat. But all the people trashing Colby were the first ones in line to defend Sam from big bad mean Kat and her hurtful words because "he wasn't ready" and wah wah wah. Isn't that funny...and on par.

So yes, lol. Most of the people pissed about this are using any excuse put in front of them to trash Colby cause that is the only enjoyment they get out of life. Trust me when I say they are backing the wrong horse with Shea. She's not the hero victim y/n sainted good girl she pretends to be.

[bonesandthebees]

im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

[friendlyengie]

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

seven degrees east - chapter seven

Fandom: Masters of the Air Pairings: multiple Rating: E Chapter: 7 / ? Word Count: 4397

read on tumblr: one | two | three | four | five | six

Professor Harding moved amongst them, and the boys had the sense that they had been in the trenches of Walden together, that a bond had been forged between bean fields and the fundamentals of self-reliance, that the murky veil of authority between instructor and student had been thinned, all for the better. It was now mid-July, and the summer semester was almost at an end.

In the two weeks since the party in Cringleford, the boys felt their worlds—social and academic, personal and shared—had been changed. University, which in its functions and expectations cared little for the lush, revolving inner worlds of its students, ploughed ahead as though nothing were different. This meant it was time for the boys to immerse themselves in the plotting and planning and researching and revising of concepts for their final essays. It was time to show what they’d learned.

Feeling he worked in the spirit of Thoreau’s project, Harding had permitted, for this last assignment, arguments which yoked Walden and each boy’s particular literary speciality. The professor’s aim was to make the essay useful to them, as Thoreau’s excursion to the woods had been to his own mind and methods. This allowed Harding’s students more freedom for creativity, and so more space for development had also been allowed. Harding had allocated that day’s class for the workshopping of final essay ideas.

Curt was sitting next to John. Had this arrangement been tried even the week before, it would have set the rest of the class—including Harding, who didn’t concern himself with his students’ spats and scuffles but, like a barometer, always noticed a change in atmospheric pressure—on edge. However, John’s bruises had faded, and he and Curt had worked to clear the air. This had involved less effort than either might have expected. Since John hadn’t hit Curt, Curt’s primary grievance had been the insults John had slung at him while baiting him into the two right hooks he had thrown. John had apologized sincerely and, because Curt understood he hadn’t really meant what he’d said, had his apology accepted at face value.

Curt’s secondary grievance was all tangled up with John’s primary one: that John hadn’t kissed Gale, while Curt had. When they’d hashed the whole thing out over a smoke, Curt had placed the blame for all the shit between them on John’s failure to act on his feelings for Gale sooner. John had taken this criticism on the chin—close to where he’d taken Curt’s fist at the party. Once John had cooled his head and his heels (and was sober), he had more easily accepted that what he’d seen through the door of that Philosophy classroom had been a combination of friendship, trust, and spontaneity. Gale had been newly (officially) single. Curt was known among their group to be the least uptight about his sexuality. Like Gale had told John the night of the fight—and other things as yet unexamined—it had been a one-time occurrence. Had Curt enjoyed kissing Gale? Of course. (John had clenched his fingers into a fist beside his leg where Curt hadn’t been able to see, then forced himself to relax them.) Was Curt rooting for John and Gale to get together? Abso-fuckin’-lutely. Why hadn’t it happened yet, Curt had wanted to know? What was this new weirdness between them that no longer seemed to have anything to do with Curt? John had staggered into a sentence he didn’t know how to finish before just letting it float away like the smoke he sighed from his nostrils.

Now, Curt was ranting to John about his two favourite ideas he’d come up with for his final essay.

“You got the travel narrative, right? You with me, John? You got fuckin’ Kerouac, fuckin’ On the Road. That,” Curt said, “versus Thoreau’s, I dunno what ya’d call it… his stayin’-put story. Ok? So, we got movement and restlessness and how that gets channeled.”

“Right,” John said, more to show he was listening and less because he was totally following.

“Or—second idea, second idea now, John—we got city and country. Another comparative essay, external conditions seemingly in opposition. And for this we go to Baldwin. Yo, Buck! Baldwin!”

Gale, who was mid-discussion of his own essay with Rosie, glanced over and offered Curt a thumbs up. His gaze slid automatically to John, who blushed for no good reason, scratched his head, and turned back to Curt.

��I’m a little less sure about that one,” Curt admitted, focus back on John. He kneaded the knuckles of his left hand into his right palm until they cracked. “But if I could figure it out, it’d kick ass.”

“It’d be fucking killer,” John said, really quite at sea, but carried along on the tide of his friend’s enthusiasm and, more than anything, wanting to demonstrate his renewed love and support since the rupture in their friendship.

“Ok, and for my third idea—”

“Your third?” John had one idea for this essay, exactly one, and he rubbed worryingly at his chin as Curt prepared to launch into another pitch.

“Yeah, dude. So, this one I’m thinkin’ Hinton—you know, The Outsiders?”

“Sure, man. Patrick Swayze.”

“Patrick Swayze? Goddammit, John.” Curt’s hand shot out and lightly cuffed the back of John’s head. “This is a fuckin’ literature class. Read a book, would ya?” He shrugged. “But sure, Swayze, if it helps ya follow along.”

John scoffed before giving in to his grin. He planted his elbow on the table and sunk his head into his hand as he listened.

“This one’s simple. It’s so good,” Curt promised. One thing they shared, luckily, was confidence in their work. “I look at belonging in a group and belonging in a place.”

“That’s interesting,” John said. He meant it.

This time, the idea struck something deep within him, something that twanged back. He was warmed by the resonance. It was them, he thought. He could see that Curt, himself, and the rest of the boys fit neatly at the center of Curt’s concept. They were Thorpe Abbotts’ English PhDs, the Bloody Hundredth, their own favourite company to keep. And they were a part of this place, this university, these grounds, this country they’d transplanted themselves onto in the hopes of learning something of books and life and driving on a different side of the road.

“That’s the winner,” he said.

“You think?” Curt asked earnestly.

“Yeah, man. Run it past Harding.”

“Alright, alright, but tell me yours first. Whaddaya got?”

John smiled a slow smile and said, “Hemingway.”

“I’m shocked,” Curt joked, and beckoned with his hand. Gimme more.

“It’s not much,” John explained, meaning the idea was spare, unadorned, not that he thought it was a poor one. He straightened up in his seat. “I’m just thinking… Thoreau. Hemingway. A man alone. Not sure yet if I’d go Old Man and the Sea or For Whom the Bell Tolls, but one of the two.”

He nodded conclusively.

“I mean, yeah,” Curt said. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“Then fuck yeah!”

“Fuck yeah,” John agreed, nodding again.

Curt shoved his chair away from the table, preparing to speak to Harding about his idea. He paused before rising.

“That’s everything you got?”

“That’s it.”

“Sick,” Curt praised.

“Thanks, man.”

A man alone, John thought when Curt had gone to the other end of the room. He drummed his fingers on the table. Without meaning to, he found himself gazing idly at Gale. Gale sat so still as he listened to Rosie, who was speaking with sweeping gestures of his hands. The other brainstorming group—comprised of Crosby, Nash, and Bubbles—already had three members, so John knew it was Rosie and Gale he should join. And he would. Any minute. He made his body as still as Gale’s, heavy and content, chest moving in and out. Gale’s gaze swung over to meet his and John immediately pushed his chair back and went to join them.

Gale watched as John approached, as he flung his pen and notebook down and took an empty seat, stretching his legs out beneath the table. He wore a brown t-shirt. It might’ve been nothing on someone else, but dark brown on John made his hair look lustrous, his sunburned nose and cheeks peachy rather than painful—these were Gale’s thoughts, and this study of John as he moved, as he sat and unfurled his long limbs, recalled the John of two weeks prior, if only because of the contrast (and because that John had rarely left Gale’s mind in the interim). That John had been compact; Gale’s gaze had darted madly to take in the taut-muscled twist of his best friend’s body. John had been on his knees and ducking his head to avoid the jeep’s ceiling, though turned towards Gale, the hunch had resembled a bow. And his cheeks; the flush on his cheeks had been blood, not sun, lit up just enough by the porchlight that Gale could see the heat trapped beneath John’s skin. God help him, he had ached since that night to know what it felt like to touch the heat rolling off John when he came.

“Whadda we got goin’ over here?” John demanded, forcefully casual.

“Poe,” Rosie said, steepling his fingers against his own chest. He indicated Gale next. “James.”

“Hemingway,” John supplied with a grin, sticking out a hand for each of them to shake as though they had taken on the names of these authors as their own and were introducing themselves. They humoured him. Gale hung on a little long before letting his fingers slip free of the hold.

“Let’s hear it,” John encouraged, waving Rosie on.

“You want my shpiel?” Rosie checked wryly. He smirked. “Alright. Picture Thoreau’s cabin.”

Gale had heard the shpiel already, so while John closed his eyes to center himself inside the narrative Rosie was constructing around him, Gale stared at John. They had talked, and the talking had been a relief after the days John had spent freezing him out. Unfortunately, they had talked about everything but the night of the party. Gale was beginning to wonder if they ever would, and the wondering filled him with a longing he couldn’t have described with all of Henry James’s winding, self-conscious language of introspection. Like James’s characters, Gale felt divided between past and present existences. He felt he was leaving some version of himself behind with the new one not yet fully formed. Though he could not go back, he feared going forward alone. If only John would say something. Why was he suddenly such a good listener?

Listen was what John did as Rosie laid out the argument for convincing his reader that Walden could be interpreted as a Gothic story. He spoke of legacy and sustainability, the fickleness of memory, the blurriness surrounding whether the landscape intruded upon the characters or they upon it. “The Fall of the House of Usher,” Rosie insisted, would help him break new ground on Walden.

“I like it,” Gale was quick to say when Rosie had wrapped up.

“Same here,” John said, and Gale felt the satisfaction of their agreement from his scalp to his toes.

Rosie, caught in the middle, glanced from one of his friends to the other with a knowing smile. A slight action of his shoulders showed his shy acceptance of their approval.

“Gale’s turn for show-and-tell,” he informed them.

John started a facetious drumroll on the edge of the table. Gale snatched up Rosie’s eraser and bounced it at him. When it landed in his lap, John gave Gale a look (You wanna pick that up? the look said) before slowly returning it to the table. His eyes glittered like Gale remembered the streaks of rain on the jeep’s windows had, catching headlights as Bubbles drove them home.

Gale cleared his throat.

“I’m thinkin’ of something a little cerebral.”

Through a fake cough, John barked out, “Snob.”

“Maybe,” Gale allowed, grinning. “Maybe.” He stared at the table for a few moments while he collected his thoughts. “So, Thoreau spends a lot of time doing, but there’s a lot of thinking there too. He talks about meditation. He, uh, he… really makes you see the value of patience, besides just that it’s necessary when you’re waiting for something like crops to grow.”

“Sure does,” Rosie encouraged.

“You wanna talk about what’s worth waiting for?” John asked abruptly—so abruptly that the question seemed to short something in Gale’s brain and he forgot, just for a moment, what it was they were discussing. He blinked and recoupled the cars on his train of thought.

“More the worth of waiting at all,” Gale corrected. “I’m going to throw in Washington Square to complicate that. I think what James really shows is… the importance—but the difficulty—of trusting your own mind.”

“Hmm,” Rosie said thoughtfully, which was a not-discouraging response.

“I think what James really shows is how much the mind sucks ass,” John declared. He added, “Figuratively.”

“You do, do you?” Gale countered, slightly annoyed.

“Yep. It’s too much thinking that keeps whatshisname and whatsherface apart.”

“You haven’t read it.”

“You’ve talked about it,” John said shortly. “I listened.”

They had a brief, silent standoff during which Rosie wrote down some useless jot points in his notebook. Gale suspected he was working hard to resist the urge to break into a self-soothing whistle.

“Morris and Catherine,” Gale emphasized, “stay apart because her father believes Morris is after their money.”

“Which he can never confirm?” John checked. “And neither can she?”

“That’s right.”

“So, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s a great work of literature.”

“Yeah,” John drawled, “but it’s stupid that Catherine decides to be suspicious and alone. If you ask me—”

“I didn’t,” Gale pointed out.

“—everybody in that novel thinks a little too much. Where’s the…” He snapped his fingers, attempting to summon the right word.

“Spontaneity,” Rosie provided without looking up.

“Thanks, Rosie. The spontaneity. Why doesn’t Catherine grab life by the fucking balls?”

“Maybe that’s not who she is, fundamentally,” Gale said.

“Maybe it could be,” John challenged.

“She’s a product of her time.”

“Bullshit. Love is timeless.”

A laugh burst from Rosie, who could no longer pretend he wasn’t listening to the exchange happening across him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, beaming. “I was imagining my grandmother embroidering that on a tea towel.”

His laughter cleared the accumulated tension from the air. Gale took a deep breath and stole a glance at John doing the same.

“My essay is mind over feelings,” Gale said weakly. “It’s what I know.”

“It’s not all you know,” John said. “But, for the essay, I get it. I think the ‘trusting your own mind’ thing’ll work with Thoreau, that pretentious fuck.”

“A little respect for our dead friend, Egan,” Harding called over.

“Don’t worry, sir, I meant it as a compliment.”

Gale had his back to their professor, but he heard him sigh. The three boys chuckled quietly.

“Bet he can’t wait to get us out of his hair,” Rosie guessed.

“Nah,” John said, “he loves us. Especially me.”

Who wouldn’t, was the thought that came to Gale unbidden.

As John took his turn, once again delivering his idea in a style so stripped-back it rivalled Hemingway’s own, another trio was brainstorming in the opposite corner of the room.

Aside from the mandatory course texts for their class, Nash hadn’t read anything written by a man since he’d spent the night with Helen. Helen hadn’t directed or even requested this. It hadn’t mattered, and Nash was already in deep. Rosie had walked into their floor’s shared kitchen in the dorms the other night to see Nash squinting at the fine print on the Pop-Tarts box (probably bored while using the toaster, Rosie had figured). To mess with his friend, Rosie had shouted, “A MAN WROTE THOSE NUTRITIONAL FACTS,” not expecting to laugh so hard he almost peed his pants after Nash dropped the box in horror.

Nash’s essay idea wasn’t one the boys felt moved to mock though; he planned to set Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s fictional Herland up next to Thoreau’s portrait of the actual Walden Pond and compare them as utopias—what they had, what they were missing, through whose eyes the reader was meant to view them as idyllic. At another time in his life (pre-Helen), Nash might (would) have joked about Herland as the utopia to end all utopias because it was full of women, but he had grown, he had changed. He felt less eager to surround himself with women and much more eager to get himself drunk on Helen. Just intoxicated. Falling-down, slurred-speech sloshed on the sight of her, her laugh, the feel of her fingers raking through his hair when he’d had his head between her thighs.

Since the party, Helen had borrowed Sandra’s car to visit Nash once on campus. He’d taken Rosie’s keys and seen her three times. Between these four meetings, it had felt as if they’d barely been apart, and Nash liked it that way. He was up to his heart-shaped eyeballs in love and overflowing the joyful energy into writing his final paper, just so he’d have something to talk to Helen about when he called her at night—as he had been every night they weren’t physically together.

Where Nash deconstructed an idealized vision, Bubbles went for realism from the start. Feeling he hadn’t spent enough time with his pal Steinbeck this semester, Bubbles was bringing that author into his final essay to help him examine the dichotomy of working man and intellectual. He thought Thoreau inhabited both archetypes, and while Thoreau’s life-on-the-land project had perhaps taken a few shortcuts, Bubbles was keen to dig into the messier side of a collision between two seemingly contradictory paradigms. The struggle was everywhere but in how he explained it, words rolling off his tongue.

Bubbles’ only distraction—though he proceeded through it—was Crosby. His best friend’s face was so serious as he listened. It was nice to be heard with such rapt attention, Bubbles felt, but he worried. He’d overheard Crosby on the phone with his mom the night before. Touching base with home would be good for Crosby, Bubbles thought, but none of them would be making the trip back to the States until the semester ended. Bubbles knew Crosby, and if he was reaching out to his mom now, it suggested something was up, that his balance was off, that he was looking for someone or something to right it. Did Crosby really need to be reminded that Bubbles was right there? But then maybe he did. Bubbles had seen how mixed-up Crosby could get himself if he wasn’t careful, and it was a shame when Bubbles thought the whole world of him.

“Last but not least,” Bubbles said, when he was finished and had turned towards his best friend. “What’ve you got for us, Croz?”

“Mystery?” Nash guessed.

And usually, knowing Crosby, this would have been the correct guess, the easy right answer, but today, Crosby leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms against his chest, his ankle over the opposite knee. His own limbs wound tight around him, he smiled a smile that troubled Bubbles.

“Maybe the mystery is why people are still reading Walden,” Crosby quipped.

Coming from Crosby—usually so eager, so earnest, so desperate to get it right (whatever it was)—this remark was shockingly irreverent. Bubbles and Nash looked at each other, at a loss. Nash made a noise between a laugh and a choked sigh. Bubbles pondered what to say. Long seconds later, it was their professor who was the first to come up with a response to Crosby’s snark.

Sidling silently up to their clustered chairs, Harding ordered, “Go with it.”

Crosby jumped.

“Sir?”

“‘Why are we still reading Walden?’ Go with that.”

Bubbles cast his gaze from Harding to Crosby.

“I was just—” Crosby began, the flush of wrongfooted embarrassment creeping up his neck.

“And now you are,” Harding cut across him to state with finality. He fixed his student with a commanding stare which, despite its ferocity, wasn’t without humour. “Consider writing the paper punishment for your curiosity. You asked the question, Crosby. I expect you to answer it.”

“But I don’t know…”

“Find out.”

Crosby stammered, but Harding turned abruptly away and went to Rosie, who had his hand raised. Crosby looked to Nash and Bubbles instead.

“What do I do now?”

“Write the paper,” Bubbles suggested with a smug smile. “What other choice you got?”

“It’s one essay,” Nash reasoned. “Just write something.”

“You can always start over if you don’t like it. We both know you’d be doin’ that anyway.”

“Yeah, but Harding assigned me this topic,” Crosby protested. “Normally, the only person pressuring me to get something perfect is me.”

“When’d he say it had to be perfect?” Nash asked.

“It obviously has to be perfect!” Crosby picked up his pen and began rapidly clicking the end. In, out, in, out.

“There’s not just one way,” Bubbles assured him. He reached out to stop the clicking and Crosby sighed, sliding the pen behind his ear instead.

“It’d be simpler if there were.”

“Simple’s not really your style, buddy.”

“Nobody overcomplicates shit like you, Croz,” Nash threw in.

Crosby bowed his forehead to the table and groaned.

—

The next day found Nash and Rosie in their suite’s common area. There was no air conditioning in the dorms, so they usually left the windows shut on the hottest days in an attempt to keep humidity out. Today, they had shoved the windows up in their casings and surrendered themselves to the heat.

Rosie was lying on the floor in his boxers. Next to him was the boombox. An infectious pop song—“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls—had come out earlier that month, and Rosie had found a radio station that was playing it on repeat. The first time he had heard it, he’d just listened. After a couple more listens, he’d sung the chorus under his breath. Now, he knew all the words and hummed the melody even when the song wasn’t playing. This included when he was washing dishes, brushing his teeth, and getting gas in his car. Not when he was showering, of course; then, Rosie belted “Wannabe” at the top of his voice. Other residents of the dorms (and anyone passing by outside) were instructed to not go wastin’ Rosie’s precious time. As a boy, Rosie had never been particularly self-conscious. As a man, he lived in the same building as John Egan, who was not exactly a role model for shame or restraint.

Fortunately, Nash could work through pretty well any kind of commotion—it was silence that he found distracting, and he avoided the library accordingly, except when he had to collect a book. Also stripped down to his underwear, Nash sat at the desk and worked on his essay. The biggest hindrance was the damp paper, courtesy of the humidity the boys had failed to shut out. When the Spice Girls were silenced mid-verse, Nash swivelled around in the chair to see Rosie sitting upright.

“What’s up?” Nash wondered.

Rosie looked at him.

“I’m gonna ask Liss to marry me.”

“What?”

But Rosie leapt to his feet and strode into his bedroom, closing the door. When he reappeared, he was dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, the collar flipped under against his neck. Nash spied the glint of keys twirling around his roommate’s finger.

“Rosie. Rosie.”

Rosie didn’t seem to hear him, marching to the door. His jaw was set, his gaze determined.

“Rosie!”

The door slammed behind him.

“ROSIE, FIX YOUR COLLAR!” Nash yelled at the closed door.

Nash sighed in annoyance and tossed his notebook down before forcing himself to get up. The heat was oppressive and he hated to move. He went to the door, opened it, and peered down the hallway. Rosie was already gone.

Leaving the door ajar, Nash shuffled over to Gale and John’s dorm. John opened the door to Nash’s knock and automatically glanced down.

“Aw, Jesus Christ, Nash,” he said, assaulted by the sight of Nash in his briefs.

Nash grinned and shrugged, then remembered why he was there.

“Rosie’s being weird,” he reported.

Gale arrived in the doorway, encountering the same view that had provoked his roommate’s exclamation. He blinked and asked, “Compared to what?”

“He just blew outta here. He said he’s going to propose to Liss.”

John chuckled and Nash, who was still smiling, raised his eyebrows to underscore the ridiculousness of such a thing. Gale, however, cocked his head thoughtfully.

“That’s fast,” he observed. “Good for Rosie.”

“Good for— what?” John demanded in disbelief. “Rosie can’t get married.”

“Sure he can. He’s a grown man, John. Knows what he wants.”

“Ken’s married,” Nash noted when it looked like John was opening his mouth to protest.

“And Lemmons is a helluva lot younger than Rosie,” Gale added.

“I just can’t believe he didn’t talk it over with us,” Nash went on, affronted.

“Hey,” John said to get his attention. “He’ll be back. We’ll talk to him then.”

And so they rounded up Curt, they rounded up Bubbles and Crosby, they went back to Nash and Rosie’s dorm (they made Nash put some clothes on), and they began their vigil. The aura of disbelief lingered, but the fact was that Rosie wasn’t there. Had he really driven up to Cringleford? Did he have a ring? They asked Nash and he could only tell them there was no ring that he’d been aware of; it had seemed to be a spontaneous decision with no clear impetus beyond “Wannabe” playing for the zillionth time. The boys were perplexed.

They received some answers within the hour. Instead of coming back through the door, Rosie called the suite’s landline. Nash picked up.

“Liss said yes,” came Rosie’s rushed voice. “Can you come meet us?”

“Where?” Nash asked, flapping his arm at the boys to demand background silence when they tried to ask what Rosie was saying.

“Norwich City Hall.”

“What?”

“I’m getting married, Nash.”

Nash could hear the smile in Rosie’s voice. Still, he said, “When?”

And Rosie said, “Now.”

[acourtofthought]

listen I love Feyre to my very core, she's my favorite FMC since I read these books and in this entire series but god she's such busybody sometimes and tries to be an expert matchmaker like Rhys but honey... no!

like that time she suggested about Az and Elain in acowar and Rhys was like "Feyre, I love you but shut up this is not in your league" thats what I gathered from Rhys reply lmao

GIRL YOU LITERALLY KNOW THESE PPL FOR A FEW MONTHS HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY NEED AND WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE THEIR HEAD? I'm quite certain she just wanted it to keep it in the family at that point bc did she forgot Azriel is "in love" with Mor before she suggested that? and Rhys had to aggressively shut that idea down lol. tbh I love that Rhys stopped her right then and there bc obv he knows him better than Feyre. they've known each other for +500 so ofc he can guess Az feeling on the matter and Az himself confirmed it in the bonus chapter (that Rhys also suspected) Az only wants Elain for release and nothing else.

and now her comment on them lead to her being the biggest e/riel shipper and e/riels LOVE to brag about it and its quite funny bc I think it was only that one time!!! we see Feyre encouraging Elain to talk to Lucien and even in her bonus chapter in acosf she wanted to suggest Elain to use Lucien's gloves that he gifted her but she didn't (which i hope she'd learned to not be a busybody after what happened with Lucien in acofas and Mor lecturing her to let them figure it out themselves)

After getting this message I didn't respond right away. I wanted to think back over the series because you are 100% correct but your correctness is even more far reaching.

In ACOMAF we have the following:

Feyre thinking that the reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe because she and her family fled during Amarantha's reign.

The actual reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe is because she sexually harassed him.

In ACOMAF, we have Feyre think Ianthe is her friend.

Later we find out that Ianthe was only ever self serving.

In ACOMAF Feyre kept wondering if a mating bond with Tamlin would snap into place.

The reason that didn't happen was because Rhys was her mate yet she was clueless about that until the Suriel told her.

In ACOMAF we have Feyre think about how Nesta and Amren would be fast friends.

In ACOWAR, Nesta and Amren were fast friends but not LASTING friends. Their friendship fell apart in ACOFAS and it never really recovered. I think they're in a better place after SF but they'll most likely never be as close as Nesta is with Gwyn and Emerie.

In ACOMAF, Feyre mentions how she sometimes notices Mor watching Az. She also asks Mor what she feels for Az which Mor deflects only for Feyre to then think, "but almost in answer, Mor declared, "Paint Azriel's. Next to mine".

Only that all fell apart in ACOWAR when Mor's preference came to light, something Feyre never suspected.

In ACOMAF, Feyre thinks how Az and Cassian could wipe Lucien off the planet.

But in ACOSF, we see Lucien command Cassian with a single word.

In ACOMAF, Feyre does say Elain would cling to Az to have some peace and quiet and how handsome they would be.

And in ACOWAR, we do see Elain and Az sharing moments of peace and quiet however, that seems to rapidly be falling apart in SF. Feyre once wanted peace and quiet too and at first she was happy with Tamlin until the peace and quiet no longer suited her. Similarly, we see Elain want to finally break free of her peace and quiet and Az is the person (after Nesta) who wants to keep her in her box of safety. He even spoke out against her AFTER Elain told Nesta off so it's doubly as problematic. Also, Feyre thinking of Elain and Az being together because of their physical appearance is the most superficial thing. It speaks nothing of their personalities or what they want from a partner, what their values are. Not to mention it reduces Elain to a "doll to dress up" or whose only worth is her beauty, just as their mother always did.

In ACOWAR, Feyre worries whether they can trust Lucien. Whether he would try to grab Elain, to sell them out.

Her fears are proven unfounded when she slips into Lucien's mind and realized he only has concern for Elain. Also Lucien regularly helps out the NC, sharing information with them, the opposite of selling them out.

In ACOWAR, Feyre questions why Lucien and Elain are mates without putting any consideration into who they are and what they want in a partner. She asks RHYS if HER SISTER is a match to Lucien 🤦. Her entire argument is based on the fact that Rhys and Tamlin's parents weren't a match for one another so maybe Elain and Lucien's is poor match too. Even though the reason Rhys tells us for WHY his parents weren't a match would not apply to Lucien and Elain and WOULD actually apply to Az and Elain.

Feyre is young and she doesn't always the see others clearly but that's ok because she's learning as she goes. She's asking these questions because this entire world is new to her and the why and the how's of it are something she's trying to figure out.

But anyone taking her thoughts as gospel as she's stumbling through it all is looking to the wrong person for predictions.

Feyre (in the original trilogy), Nesta (for the first 3/4 of her book) and Az (even now), for as great as they are, were /are not the characters to look too for clearheaded opinions because they are too close to certain situations, too emotional and too wrapped up in their own confusion about everything to be valid resources. Feyre and Nesta especially were all over the place. For example one minute Nesta was going on and on about how Elain is good and special and that's why Nesta protected her at all costs, and the next Nesta is furious with Elain, claiming she was "undoubtedly wholly convinced of her own innocence, her innate goodness" and mad at Cassian for defending Elain.

So again, I think much of what those three say / think in regards to Elain, Lucien, and Az needs to be taken with a grain of salt

Cassian was the one who predicted Nessmerie and guess what? They ended up being as close as sisters.

Rhys was the one who said that he might need to pull some threads in regards to Nessian and guess what? They were mated in the very next book.

Mor predicted that Lucien was trustworthy enough to enter Velaris and guess what? He didn't steal Elain away and he never sold out Velaris to anyone and helped provide information to the NC about Autumn.

We have Cassian telling us that Nesta was wrong about Elain being loyal like a dog, Rhys admit that maybe Elain behaves in certain ways because of the way the sisters treat her, we have Rhys and Mor tell Feyre to stay out of things with her meddling. We have Amren tell Az he's wrong about Elain. We have Rhys express genuine concern over the way Az spoke of Elain. These are characters who are a few steps away from it all and able to think more rationally because they aren't as personally invested in what happens. Feyre feels guilty for her sisters being made so she was desperate to throw Elain in any direction she thought might snap her out of her depression (except giving her a real chance to interact with her mate). Nesta and Az have / had too much of their own self loathing to see anything clearly. But in my opinion, Cassian, Mor, Rhys and Amren are the voices of reason when it comes to what's going on with Elucien and E/riel.

[stillness-in-green]

Wait wait wait if spinaraki is one of three pillars what are the other two

(Re: my tags on this post.)

Ahahaha, well, actually, what I was referring to there was my quip about betting on friendship in a Shonen Jump manga—one of the three pillars of Shonen Jump:

If you google those three terms + Shonen Jump, you can find more in-depth discussion, but basically, they're the themes that manga serialized in SJ generally aim for, not necessarily because it's a strict editorial mandate or anything, so much as because those are just viewed as the most key themes that make a Shonen Jump manga—well, a Shonen Jump manga. This sense of identity accounts for a lot of the traits of the “Shonen Jump main character” archetype, as well as the expected presence of “nakama”-type characters, and plenty of other tropes that you might think of as being synonymous with shonen manga in general.

The importance of this ethos factors into some of my frustrations with Deku, actually. While he had to put in lots and lots of hard work in the early parts of the manga, since acclimating to OFA, there’s been considerably less Effort going into his victories.  It’s part of the conflict between his relationship with his classmates and the secrecy All Might demands, too, a tension that comes to a head in the Deku vs. 1-A fight, but that doesn't really continue on to a better place, I don't think.

If you look at where the three tenets are in that fight, it’s clear from the beginning who’s going to win.  Deku might be putting in Effort, but so are the rest of the kids, and it’s really obvious where the Power of Friendship is between the kid trying fiercely to go it alone vs. nineteen kids working together for a single goal and with the value of their bonds burning in their hearts.  Effort + Friendship = Victory, see?

Even after having proven the supremacy of friendship-based teamwork, though, the characters in-universe (especially the adults) continue putting Deku on this pedestal as the character who'll solve their Shigaraki problem and the kids just kind of—let this happen.

Well, I could elaborate on that more, but EH. That's not why I nor you are here. So to refocus, one of the things that makes the League of Villains so interesting and unique as SJ villains go is how they interact with the three pillars. Villains don't, as a general rule! A key part of having protagonists that express Friendship, Effort and Victory is contrasting them against villains who express the opposite of those things. And, indeed, many villains in BNHA work in exactly that way: AFO has to work for very little, Overhaul is very much not here to make friends (though some of his minions are a different story; the trash trio are very interesting in this context), and so on.

The League, however, is different. That’s most clear in the My Villain Academia arc, with Shigaraki being emblematic of Effort, with hints of Friendship here and there, Spinner’s Friendship taking the form of devotion that powers his Efforts, and Twice being a beacon of both.  Mr. Compress’s faith and self-sacrifice (Friendship+Effort) are instrumental in the villains’ escape from Jakku.  Toga’s grief over losing Twice (Friendship) is pivotal in her endgame arc.  Dabi is pretty bad at the Friendship angle (it’s what most clearly sets him apart from the rest of the League), but he’s a monster when it comes to Effort, pushing through a lifetime of pain because giving up might as well mean dying (and dying absolutely means giving up).

Looking more closely at Spinner and Shigaraki, you can read large chunks of their character arcs through this lens.

Shigaraki starts the story as a cranky and entitled manchild, unpleasantly demanding towards the few people he’s close to; he also bails on USJ once the odds turn against him.  Having thus no Friendship to speak of and being disinclined to bother with Effort, of course he can’t obtain Victory.  His lack of determination is one of the things Deku critiques in their mall encounter; during the training camp, Kurogiri asks if he views the Vanguard Action Squad as merely pawns.  Losing AFO at Kamino deprives Shigaraki of his reset button, meaning he will need to put in more Effort to secure Victory, since there will be no one around to mitigate his defeats anymore.

In the Hassaikai arc, we see him develop an understanding of his team and begin to clarify his ideology, demonstratively opening up to Toga and Twice, and trusting in their Friendship and Effort as the basis of the plan that culminates in the highway attack.  A few months later, Gigantomachia pushes him to extremes like never before, with the place of belonging he offered Twice in particular being key in the League overcoming the MLA.

This arc of finding comrades (Friendship) and discovering the beliefs he’s willing to fight for (Effort) delivers him to a decisive victory (you get the gist) at Deika.

This arc is also why I find the possession plot so frustrating and underwhelming—Shigaraki being subjugated by All For One, his friends scattered and used, feels violently at odds with the way Shigaraki engaged with the three tenets up to this point.  Like, why did we even spend so much time on Shigaraki’s Efforts and Friendships if him spending two years and 85 chapters of the climax as a damsel thanks to AFO is all it was going to amount to?  So I’m very much hoping him taking back control will get us in a better spot going forward, even if I’m skeptical that it’ll be able to wholly undo the damage.

As to Spinner, his arc begins with him being inspired by Stain’s willingness to strive even when he’s one man against the whole world; this admiration of Effort is what leads Spinner to the League, while his sense that his Effort is being wasted is what drives his confrontation with Shigaraki in Chapter 220.  He’s struck to empathy after hearing Shigaraki speak of being empty, however, and seeing Shigaraki’s Efforts lead to Victory in Deika solidifies his loyalty (Friendship). That keen understanding of Shigaraki leads to him being able to wake Shigaraki at Jakku, avoiding a defeat if not securing a victory; his enduring loyalty then leads him into AFO’s hands.

In the last scene we’ve gotten of him thus far, all three tenets are on display: his dedication to Shigaraki drives him to power through heroic opposition and his own fragmenting mind to wake Kurogiri with a plea that’s based in his love of Shigaraki and the League; Kurogiri being woken is directly responsible for Shigaraki being returned to full power just as he also returns to his own mind.

Friendship mixed with Effort leads to Victory—that progression is what I was specifically thinking about when I said I felt pretty good about betting on Friendship in a Shonen Jump comic, and made the quippy tag about the three pillars.

That's the serious answer. See here for the funny/fannish one.

[cebwrites]

What are your fave op ships?

good question! i don't think i have any canon/canon ships that i'm nearly as attached to as my oc/canon ones but hmmm off the top of my head in no particular order- (i definitely rambled too much omggg 🏃‍♂️💨💨)

ZoSan: my first introduction to OP through doujin of all things when I was younger lol, my feelings towards these characters have morphed and changed and complicated over the years (regards to Sanji in particular), I have a lot to say both good and some bad about them but at the end of the day I'll always have a soft spot for curly and marimo in this little heart of mine, they're my old reliable <3

PenShach: I'm a sucker for childhood friends to lovers lmao, they've been glued to each other's sides through hell or high water (literally, with the tsunami that killed their respective parents), having their backs when things got rough at home with Shachi's aunt and uncle, swearing their loyalty to this weird kid who both beat them up for bullying an innocent polar bear and saved their lives, stumbling ass backwards through their attractions to other people, each other, and Penguin's gender - it's a sweet idea 💕

KilKidd: similar to PenShach in that they grew up together and learned to get along when they had no one but each other to rely on but on top of that also the absolute devotion and unwavering trust a first mate can have in his captain, the resolve to stick by him til the bitter end 🥹

Frobin: two jaded, hurt people doomed by fate and circumstance who are ultimately bound to one another and decide to build their way out of a shitty situation together, stronger - the fact that they're a little "older" as well (even though early-mid 30s shouldn't be considered old at all) but still managing to experience all these giddy, happy feelings you'd only expect from adolescence is very important to me 🥺💕 (they're also t4t bi4bis)

UsoNami: kids drawn to the open sea by a dream and realizing immediately that they were WAY in over their heads but bond over being the 'weakest links' in their group despite holding immeasurable value to the SHs in their specialized skills and friendships, they've also just always had a cute kind of chemistry that I like - girlboss with the silly guy who makes her laugh (also bi4bis but aside from Usopp I think Nami would be disinterested in guys entirely)

I like SmoAce, AceSan, and DeuAce all for different reasons - smug punk getting on an older man's last nerve every single day and babygirling the hell out of him at the same time, the push and pull/taboos of a pirate x marine dynamic, how both of them are a little dissatisfied with their lot in life (constantly being on the run with no place to return to, having to answer to uncaring and at worst outright cruel higherups that cared none for what their so-called "Justice" actually meant) and find comfort in each other for what few, temporary chances they get - Sanji's bisexual awakening/the immediate angst in the wake of Marineford and what that means for the feelings he has no where to put now because Ace always said it for him (because he was too scared to on his own) - that sweet sweet first mate/captain dynamic I love 😩👌 + I kind of like the Spade pirates as they were before joining WB and all, I want to know more about the people Ace deliberately chose to surround himself with rather than the family he was adopted into

honorable mentions go to: SmoDra, BartoCav, DraKoby, DraZo, YamaAce, KilZo, whatever ship name Blue Gilly and Ideo have, IcePaulie, CrocoDaz, CoraBug, and Bege/Chiffon (literally married) no detailed reasons for why I like them, i just think they're cute for a one off thing/in general or have a good dynamic <33

additionally, i don't really like pairing law with anyone but my oc, sorryyy 〒▽〒

[rick-ety]

I know you like the tsp but what game(s) do you think is the best ever made? Curious (it’s fine if it’s tsp)

Actually, I hyperfixate on tsp but the games that had a severe impact on my life and my mind are Doki Doki Literature Club and Your Turn to Die. GET READY FOR THE CRAZIEST RANT EVER GAH (major spoilers for both below btw)

You should know why I like ddlc, lmao it’s the most beautifully crafted game I think I’ve ever seen in my life. The stories behind the characters, how all four aren’t just leveled down to stereotypes like you’d expect and have their own complex motives and beliefs. I find Monika and Natsuki especially fascinating. Monika obviously because of her dealing with being trapped in a purgatory where she’ll always be alone, her friends aren’t real and there is no escape. The one person she feels can understand her, she’ll never be able to reach. Natsuki has been my favorite character ever since I first watched the play through of the game when I was 9 or something, but my reasons have changed over the course of all these years. Her character is my favorite, and her story especially with the ddlc+ release is amazing. She’s constantly in defense mode in order to protect herself, having to deal with her situation at home and her toxic friends. Her only save haven is the literature club, and in act 2 when Monika tries to recruit more members we find out that Natsuki values her friendships and finds safety with just these four people. During the just Monika scene in act 2 when you read what Natsuki wrote I got goosebumps reading her poem. Her cry for help and her concerns for yuri’s mental health seemed so real through how they wrote her poem. In fact, I think she’s the strongest of the group, albeit the most immature and reckless at first glance she’s the only one who doesn’t really succumb to Monika’s antics. Both Yuri and sayori died to their own minds, and there were tons of ways to kill Natsuki off as well. Yet she survived. Technically, at least (lmao). Yuri had a suspicion toward Monika, but they chose to lead that into the climax of her obsession for MC. Natsuki seems to be the only one who decided to step in because she *knew* something was wrong. Idek why I’m talking about Natsuki right now this is about the game but it has BEAUTIFUL character writing and story and mechanics and I love it with my heart and soul. I could play that game over and over again for the rest of time and never get sick of it. I’m not joking.

Yttd is just as good, maybe even better for completely different reasons. I think what made me love this the most is the character death. In lots of series and games when a character dies, it shoves someone into an arc and writes a chapter and then everyone moves on. Yttd is so realistic and impactful with their deaths, when Joe dies you literally get a mechanic in game where you can’t think about him too much or else you’ll go crazy from grief. The death scenes are so unique too, especially in the first chapter. Sara having to carry the guilt of “prolonging and causing” her friends deaths is persistent through the story, and everyone understands when she needs support people to trust. Keiji’s story and his relationship with sara makes the entire game even more important to me. The whole game really emphasizes the bonds between everyone and learning to cope with the death of loved ones. To help each other feel safe, to help each other calm down and trust each other, to help each other live. The pain in everyone’s eyes every time they have to vote someone to die. The fact that they argue for hours and try to bend the rules of the entire game’s reality to get just one more hour for Sou to be alive. The mechanic of being able to choose who lives and who dies is something I’ve never seen before, ESPECIALLY in that style of game. Your choices matter. Every single one. And they WILL have consequences. Game over scenes or selfish incorrect choices don’t just flash a title on your screen and say retry. You have to watch as you crumble to the floor in disbelief, knowing you failed everyone as you watch them die one by one. This game isn’t even completed yet and I’m CRAZY over it oh my god I never expected ANY of these plot twists and it’s beautiful and I love it. The day the next chapter comes out is the day I rejoice so hard I pass out from exhaustion. ANYWAYS I AM SUCH A YAPPER BUT OMG ddlc and yttd great games check them out

[hypermania]

Do you think caryl will go canon in the spin-off? And if you could have chosen any other time for it to go canon when would it have been? 

i have no idea. the extent of my knowledge about the spinoff is pretty much just that it exists and it's french. so yeah sure maybe?

as for when i would have wanted it to go canon? that's a more difficult question to answer because i don't necessarily care if it ever does. my only real canonical wishes for caryl are that 1. their relationship, in whatever form it takes, is always central to their characters and 2. that daryl does not end up with anybody else (and really that's more about daryl as a character than it is about the ship). the flagship show grants both of those wishes, more or less, so i'm already pretty happy with caryl as is.

but if i could have made it explicitly canonically romantic at some point in time, i know for sure i wouldn't have wanted it to happen any time before the saviors. maybe not even before the time jump and carol marrying ezekiel. i love angst and i love quiet pining, but more importantly, i love the foundation of their friendship and the reasons they developed a bond in the first place.

when they met, they were two people who were in no place to begin a relationship (romantic or sexual) with anyone. they were both hurting and neither of them really knew who they were yet. carol thought she was a mousy housewife, nothing more than dead weight, too weak to leave an abusive husband and definitely too weak to save her daughter. daryl thought he was an angry and violent waste of space, with no value outside of his ability to provide (food, protection, the return of sophia, etc).

and then they changed each other. carol kissed daryl on the head and told him that his value was not in whether or not he was able to bring sophia home. his value was that he cared enough to look in the first place. that he was "every bit as good as [rick]." and daryl told carol that she was stronger than she thought she was and that she was worth saving, worth cherishing, even.

and the beauty of their friendship was that it was simple. especially in those early days when they were still trying to figure out how to be people (without merle and without ed). it's so so important to me that there was no pressure on either side to move it somewhere else. it was a safe space. carol jokingly flirted with daryl because it was safe to do so. he wasn't going to take it seriously. he wasn't going to make a move. she could try on her own sexuality again without having to give up anything to do so.

and the thing about daryl is that i read him as ace (probably more demi than flat out ace but on the ace spectrum somewhere) and from that perspective, his relationship with carol has to be such a fucking relief because she isn't expecting anything from him. she doesn't want him to make a move and so he doesn't have to. he doesn't have to feel like he's failed to live up to some imaginary idea of what masculinity is. he can be around an ~available~ woman without it being a Thing. like, i don't think he was out picking up woman regularly before all this but i think every single time he failed to do so, he heard about it from merle or his father or whoever else was around.

so they build this beautiful friendship and then somewhere along the way, it shifts. personally, i think it shifted for daryl pretty early on (sometime in s3-4) but it took awhile for carol to get there. not necessarily because she didn't feel it, but because she refused to acknowledge it. it was a boundary she didn't want to cross. i think it's part of why she agreed to marry ezekiel. that life was a role she was playing so it wouln't matter if she lost it (at least she thought it wouldn't. but she was wrong). i think she finally admitted how she feels about daryl when she realized he was mad at her over the whole alpha thing.

idk idk i know my opinions are unpopular but i just really appreciate that so much of what makes caryl special is that they are each other's safe space. putting them in a romantic relationship too early ruins that. they both had too much growing to do. i would be delighted to find out that the spinoff makes them canon though. i would also be delighted if it retroactively made them canon like "yeah we've been fucking since the jump what about it??" just because i think it would be hilarious.