#but really I'm genuinely just putting it in the tag for organization and further thought. 字面意思 quotes for keeping hhh

[hunxi-after-hours]

"The neoliberal regime isolates people while at the same time invoking empathy...The demand for empathy can be heard in particular in atomized societies. The present hype surrounding the concept has primarily economic causes: empathy is used as an efficient means of production; it serves the purpose of emotionally influencing and directing people. Under the neoliberal regime, a person is not only exploited during working hours; rather, the whole person is exploited. In this context, emotional management turns out to be more effective than rational management. The former reaches deeper into a person than does the later. Neoliberal psycho-politics attempts to elicit positive emotions and to exploit them."

—Han Byung-Chul, The Disappearance of Rituals (trans. Daniel Steuer)

[m00dysunflower]

Testimone di Gangster vs Purple Haze Feedback

Just came fresh off of reading the new Squatizi light novel (which I LOVED) and decided to ruminate on why I loved one and hated the other so much.

I want to preface that if anyone is nasty in replies or tags about my views and opinions of PHF, I'll block you, I don't have time to fight over a non canon Fugo centric light novel. And I think it's valid to compare the 2 stories because they're both based around part 5 and in light novel format that supposedly expands upon the part. If you find my thoughts valid and insightful, cool, if you don't, move along, you're not going to convince me to change my mind sadly.

Also this isn't going to have too bad of spoilers. I'm kinda more vague when it comes to talking about the Squatizi story.

............................................................................

Purple Haze Feedback:

I respect that people needed more Fugo content and it was a genuinely good premise. An aftermath story of Fugo returning to Passione under Giorno and Mista? Yeah I would have loved a story about that. But if you need to warp characters' personalities and throw in a bunch of forgettable stands and their users to do it... I honestly can't bother to care.

If it was much shorter then I could tolerate it, but it wasn't, so here I am. I'll be going point by point with PHF just to organize my thoughts better for such a chaotic story.

1. It warped the pre-established characters.

Mista I think was done the most dirty with that opening scene, but to insinuate that Abbacchio and Fugo killed kids behind Bruno's back felt like absolute whiplash. Also Abbacchio is bisexual obviously, he would have slept with men too, not just women lol.

I don't like that they made Trish become a pop star. Maybe she would have been better as a model, but regardless, not so soon after part 5 when she needed her time to be normal and heal, or at least be under Giorno and Mista's protection.

The whole "Fugio" moment also felt off-putting to me and is part of the reason I don't like the ship. Look, it was absolutely no rain scene or "The only time I feel at ease", let's not try to compare it.

Fugo was okay, but he was just boring and I feel that's not good... you know, considering he's the protagonist of this story. He got better near the end, sure, but by the time I got to the end I was so tired and done with the story. A better writer would have done him and the story more justice.

2. Uninteresting supporting cast and villains

Cannolo was a fine addition, but I never understood what his stand actually did, same with all of the villains' stands. I think that's just poor writing if people walk away not understanding what just happened. I had to reread scenes and I still didn't get most of what happened. Voodoo Child was a cool stand, reminded me a bit of Moody Blues, but I didn't like Sheila as a character. And I'm sorry, who let's a 14 girl in a skimpy ass outfit be the Don of Mafia's bodyguard? Sheila's whole design was so hyper-sexualized and gave me the ick, especially if she was allegedly supposed to be indigenous coded. I've only seen speculation though so I won't go into it further.

Volpe and Manic Depression are the only villain names I remember. I couldn't even tell you the names and stands of the others or what Manic Depression even did as a stand. None of them felt like an actual threat.

3. Felt like a poorly written fanfic

The random mention of Tonio from DIU as Volpe's brother was also a whiplash "where the fuck did that come from" moment, because it was so unnecessary and felt like a cheap tie in for something that was formally published in a book. It really helped give it an average fanfic feel (and I write cheesy, overly dramatic fanfiction!). I think that was also when I was nearing my breaking point.

I once had someone try to mansplain to me that PHF was a "more realistic look of the mafia"... it is not, I promise you that lol. Mafia had rules about women and children and all other kinds of shit that Passione definitely does not abide by. Real life Mafia has so much more to it. This is camp fictional media, no one should ever take it so seriously.

In short, I just think PHF had a lot of wasted potential and would have done better with an altered story. I just can't convince myself to blindly love it, no matter how much I tried to like it.

............................................................................

Testimone di Gangster

I read it last night so it's still so fresh in my mind, but this is how you expand upon a story in my humble opinion. This is also probably going to be shorter just because it was a shorter and more focused story with less characters. I also don't want to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet since it just came out in English.

First off, I think it was a such great idea to take two characters we knew so little about and expand upon them in a way that felt so much more natural. There's less room for warping characters when they didn't have such distinct personalities to begin with and also helps build the world up.

There was no overly complicated plot about drugs and stands and it gave more insight on how the crime world works in Jojo's version of Italy. It even had nods to other real life gangs and how Passione fit into this world with them. It even gave nods to the Cosa Nostra and a real life prosecutor (Falco) who dealt with a lot of gang business in Italy and I think that's just so cool. I love shit like that so much, I adore me some good worldbuilding in general that we didn't necessarily need, but it's just cool to see.

I'll admit, the story was bit hard to follow in the first chapter, but once I picked up that it was from Squalo's perspective, it was such an easy and fun read that didn't make me question what was going on every two paragraphs.

It really showed us how Tiziano is clever and calculating and can be such a useful stand user and teammate. It solidified why he and Squalo are partners (and most definitely in more than just crime for sure now ahaha). I also just love the idea of him being an attorney, especially with Talking Head as a stand, it was a fantastic concept.

The entire time I was just so entertained and caught up in the story, it was so much more engaging than I thought it was going to be. I was genuinely invested in the trial and how Tiziano was going to win the case for Passione. I'm almost sad that this story was so much shorter and would have loved more in between moments with Squalo and Tiziano, but maybe it was for the best not to drag things out.

The ending was a great nod back to their involvement in part 5 and this was in general a great insight into who they were before joining Diavolo's special guard. Plus it makes so much more sense and is amusing to know that he had a lawyer (Tiziano) apart of his elite team.

............................................................................

Now look, I don't think I necessarily have a bias because I do like Fugo just as much as I like Squalo and Tiziano. I also normally don't care for light novels when comes to anime/manga so I don't think it could be that either.

Maybe it was simply the Fugo/Fugio lovers had over-hyped and demanded that everyone read PHF that it just soured the novel before I even read it? I couldn't say for sure. All I know is I went into PHF was no expectations and was so dissatisfied where as I went into Testimone di Gangster with some expectations and was thoroughly entertained.

This is by no means a dig at Fugio shippers, like I said, PHF's ending and the hype around it made me personally more uncomfortable with the ship than I already was before reading it. Simple as that.

If I were to recommend additional Jojo content, especially for the part 5 lovers, Testimone di Gangster is the one I would urge people to read if they have an hour or two to spare. It's a short and sweet look at some great side characters and has more of part 5 spirit without getting caught up in a bunch of bland ocs.

[damienthepious]

idk idk idk i’m just doing my best

Going Through Changes, Ripping Out Pages (chapter 5)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ao3] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ch 10] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, (uhhhhh sorta), Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (WE WILL GET THERE…… EVENTUALLY)

Summary: Lord Arum wakes to discover that some things have changed while he slept. Namely, there is a human in his bed.

Chapter Summary: Just a moment to breathe together.

Chapter Notes: happy LKT! it's finally not death-grip hot today. i hope you're doing well <3

~

The Keep brings the pair of them to a familiar room, though not one that they would have expected. There are a lot of spaces in the Keep that don't have particular functions, exactly, since Arum isn't keen on categorization or organization, but this room he and Rilla have mostly taken to calling the study. It has a few books (far fewer than the scroll room), a couple soft seats (fewer than the dining room) and a window shaded by a thin, wide-leafed curtain of vines, and as they enter, the Keep drops another set of vines, lifting Rilla's instrument from beside the window and pressing it into her hands.

Rilla stares down, and Damien watches her swallow roughly as her hand wraps around the neck. It's a homemade thing, the same instrument that she engineered during her first stay within these walls, though it has been structurally bolstered and restrung and better tuned and painted with playful florals since that time. Rilla laughs, and it sounds nearly hollow, and the Keep's vines press the instrument more firmly into her grip.

"Keep," she says, her tone uncertain and worried, and the Keep warbles an urgent set of tones, pushing the instrument again before it releases it into her hands. "I'm… I'm not sure if-"

The Keep sings, then. Sings in words, the first line of a familiar song, and Rilla clutches the neck of the instrument tight enough that one of the strings makes a tight high noise against her fingernail.

"Oh," Damien says, catching the Keep's meaning, and it is so strange, he thinks, that such a sound can fill him with such warm memory and such sadness at the same moment. "Oh," he repeats breathlessly. "I see. You believe that he might… if he hears- you think the familiarity of the song, the association between it and us-"

"No. No, that's not going to work," Rilla says firmly, her eyes upturned vaguely in the direction of the Keep.

Damien sighs as the Keep exhales a wilted sort of song, but he can't deny that he agrees with his flower. Rilla winces, though, raising a hand to pat at the air consolingly.

"I mean- Keep, it's a really sweet idea, and the theory that he'll remember the song-" her voice goes strange and wobbly for a moment, and then she inhales and continues, "the theory that it would help him remember isn't without merit. Music has a lot of connection to memory, between repeated patterns of things like rhyme and rhythm and leitmotifs- but- but I don't think he's gonna take it very well if we try to like, perform a little three-creature concert for him, y'know?"

The Keep sings again, tentative but hopeful, and Rilla sighs.

"He'll think we're trying to manipulate him," she says quietly. "Technically, we would be. And- and he won't buy it if he can tell I'm not fully into it. I'm an awful liar- he can always tell if I'm putting on a face, and- and honestly? I just-" she folds her arms over her chest, looking down and to the side. "I just … I really don't feel like singing, right now."

Damien's heart pulls, caught in the tide of Rilla's ill-hidden sorrow. For its part, the Keep sings again, an understanding descent of notes, an obvious concession to Rilla's points.

"Why don't you play, just a little, my love?" Damien's keeps his voice low, and he brushes his hand over hers on the neck of her instrument. "And I will do the singing myself."

"Damien," she says, sounding tired and uncertain. "It isn't going to w-"

"Not," he clarifies, "for the sake of a solution, I mean. Simply for us. You have sung for my own comfort more times than I could possibly count. If it would bring you more distress, you need not play, but at least let me sing for you. Our Keep has made a lovely suggestion, and I should like, I think, to take some small measure of comfort where I can, and share it."

"Oh," Rilla says, blinking, and then she breathes a weak sort of laugh. "Oh, I mean… if you- if you want?"

Damien smiles, and it feels mostly genuine. They still have not come to any solutions, but surprising Rilla is delightful enough to warm him regardless. "I believe you are correct," he says, "that any attempts at artifice will only cause our lily to mistrust our intentions further. Perhaps we should attempt to show him your recordings, next. That seems an appropriate step. But currently, while he is… cooling off, as you put it, I think we should take a moment of our own. Settle our minds, comfort our souls." He squeezes her hand, ducking his head. "Will you let me sing for you?"

"Damien," she says, and her cheeks are dark as her lips tilt into a fond smile. She glances down to her instrument, and then she sighs, and sits, and lifts it to a proper playing position as she meets Damien's again. "I'll play. You can sing, if you really want to. But- but you don't have to sing for me, okay?"

"I know," he says, settling to sit beside her as her fingers dance across the frets, lazily adjusting the tuning. "But surely you know that I want to."

Her smile grows, and she plucks out a few unconnected chords. "Alright, alright," she says, voice warm, and then she bites her lip for a moment as her fingers move, as she strums through a few more experimental notes before she decides on something he can sing along with.

Another folk song, one without quite such a fraught connection to the four of them, this time. A song about warm rains and bolting for shelter, about closeness and laughter, about staying together in the hidden places, even after the storm passes by.

She is always so beautiful when she plays. She laughs, even, when the Keep begins to hum wordlessly along with Damien, and he nearly loses his thread when the combination of her talent and her joy threatens to overwhelm his heart. Eventually, on the final verse, she lets her own voice raise to join theirs, harmonizing until she strums the last chord.

Her smile tilts her lips, and her eyes sparkle between rueful and mischievous.

"Tactical and romantic," she murmurs, and Damien attempts to look innocent. "Okay, okay, I'm actually feeling a little better now. Happy?"

At the admission, Damien's shoulders relax, and he cannot help his own smile. "Absolutely delighted, my flower," he says, and then he leans closer, and Rilla breathes another small laugh as she lifts one hand away from the frets to cup his cheek, to pull him more decisively into the kiss.

Damien freezes when he hears the sharp inhale from the doorway, and he can feel the too-small reserves of comfort and warmth shrink within him. He can feel Rilla's frame stiffen beneath his hands as well, and he forces himself to pull back, to glance aside, to look where he knows he will see-

Arum leans on the doorframe, two hands clinging to the wood, his thin lips parted and his expression confused and open and raw. A moment after Damien looks towards him, though, he snaps his jaw shut again, forcing himself to look nearly blank.

Nearly. Damien knows him too well to be entirely fooled.

"How- how long were you-"

Rilla cuts herself off before she finishes the question, and Arum looks away with a throaty rumble, his tail flicking behind him.

"Long enough to know you were including my Keep in your little moment of bonding, which I do not appreciate in the-"

Arum cuts himself off as well, and Damien wonders for a strange moment if this is a very convoluted attempt at mocking, but the lizard's mouth twists into an uncomfortable line as he visibly struggles through some decision, his hands clenching and unclenching from tense fists as the rattle in his throat grows again.

Arum inhales, glances back behind himself for a moment, and then he seems to shake whatever thoughts he had been grappling, and he narrows his eyes at Rilla.

"You," he says, and Damien can see the way he is layering suspicion over his confusion now. "Rilla. You mentioned the Senate, when discussing how you claim we first came to… to know one another. What do you know of them?"

Rilla bites her lip, confused over this sudden return to interrogation. She furrows her brow as she meets Damien's eye for a moment, and he gives the shadow of a shrug, exactly as unsure about the monster's intent as Rilla herself is.

"Uh, only what you've told me?" she tilts her head, setting her instrument gingerly to the side of their seat and then crossing her arms over her chest as she thinks. "Which honestly isn't all that much. I don't think you really like talking about them? And as far as I know they haven't been much of a factor since the mess at Fort Terminus. They kinda-sorta run the show with the monsters in general, yeah? Mostly because they're powerful enough to just… do what they want, even if it infringes on what other monsters want."

Arum frowns, but despite his clear displeasure he nods. "That is not entirely inaccurate." He pauses, tension in his jaw before he continues, "and you are certain that I am… no longer in communication, then, with these beasts?"

Rilla's eyebrows shoot up, and Damien answers, "You have certainly not mentioned any correspondence, no. May I ask why this is a concern, currently?"

"Do you think they're involved?" Rilla asks, eager, and Arum's snout wrinkles.

"I cannot say for certain," he mutters, and then he bares his teeth uncomfortably, "and if I do not discuss them with you, I do not know how I could find out."

Damien turns that phrasing over in his head, and he is sure that he must have misheard for a moment, because he seems to be implying-

"Wait." Rilla shifts at his side, sitting straighter. "Wait. You're talking like- do you believe us?"

Arum stares at her for a moment, brow furrowed, and then he blinks quickly, hissing sharp and low.

Damien watches him hunch his shoulders, duck his head, hands flexing, and Damien does not know if his heart should swell or plummet. Arum did not even realize his own implication.

"I-" the monster stammers. "That is not-" he shakes his head, his frill fluttering with distress. "I do not-"

Damien stands, and Rilla stands a moment after, her hand at his elbow.

"Arum," Damien tries, and the monster snaps his jaw shut, glaring between the both of them for a long moment.

"… I do not know what to believe," he says slowly, eventually, and then he drops his eyes. "So … so perhaps you should continue attempting to prove your point. If- if you are so terribly certain that you are correct, if you believe you have some so-called evidence that may be so utterly compelling…" he trails off, exhales a slow sigh, and then gestures with a hand, prompting the Keep to form a doorway at his back. "I may have found some evidence of my own. Come. Convince me, and perhaps I will show you what I've found."

[->]

[theenjoninecollective]

Hey, I'm just asking this out of interest because I want to understand other people's thoughts. So I don't mean to be rude or anything, ship whatever you want. But why did you choose to ship enjonine over enjoltaire, as the later is such a popular one?

Mod @viridescentlights 

Is this your way of flirting, hmm? If it was, it’s not working the way you want it. That aside, you say you want to understand and that it’s out of interest, but if it was, why the question at the end? That’s downright condescending. Simply put, your ask never meant to respect our opinions, in the end. In what way does this benefit you at all, hmm? I ask this because the timing of this ask, though given in January, is suspect. Fandom activity in Les Mis has been quite low, but it always has been given the fluctuating interest of people towards it. Furthermore, there are different factions in the group, and I’ve observed that your group is very active. So why bother us, when your group has enough fan art, fanfic, and whatnot? We’re busy enjoying on our own. It does not matter if it’s popular because that is our interest. Unless you want another fic war because you’re bored? Pfft. You could’ve asked in a better way, you know? We could’ve organized a sort of fic exchange and whatnot! Instead you go ride on your high horse and be demeaning. It’s annoying already. 

So, if you want an exchange, just let us know, mate. It’s not that hard to do. Plus, it’s fun. I’ve been able to do one with a good friend who ships enjoltaire. Why destroy when we can make art, mate? Let this be our enemies-to-friends-to-maybe-partners story, yeah? Haha. But seriously. Do not do this rude ask again. 

Anyway, I’ll let my friend do the nuanced discussion. Ta. 

Mod @decembersiris: 

Just because a ship is popular that does not mean I’m going to ship it. Often times now most of my ships are not the popular ones because in the fandoms I am in, the more popular ones end up being really toxic, I have found. And this includes Les Miserables and the enjoltaire ship as well.

Why I don’t ship enjoltaire: the ship itself

I have watched the musical and read the book. I have also watched multiple films and TV series such as the 2012 movie and the French 2000 miniseries. Of course there are more out there and more that I have watched but I’m not going to go into detail, because the point is that I am well reversed in the mediums of the story itself. And in all that I have watched and the book that I have read, the ship does not appeal to me. In the book, it is explicitly said that Enjolras hates Grantaire. And that immediately puts me off against the ship because why would I ship a couple where one of them completely hates the partner. That does not tickle my fancy, regardless if Grantaire loves him. I understand that there are multiple Greek references to homosexual couples to represent Enjolras and Grantaire, but frankly, I don’t care. And I’m allowed to not care. For me, just because there is symbolism, that does not mean the ship is without a doubt canon.  Because as Hugo wrote, regardless of the symbolism, Enjolras hates him.

As some enjoltaire shippers throw at enjonine shippers, that we are homophobic because it is written in the book Enjolras has not interest in women. Yep, I understand that that is there. However the way Hugo shapes this information leaves a lot to be interpreted. Enjolras may not be interested in women RIGHT NOW because he’s so focused on his revolution. That is very possible and very real, that he may not want to establish a relationship because he knows what is at risk, that pursuing a relationship will only lead to further tragedy because he knows what he is doing is putting his life at risk. The way I interpret this sentence though is that he is not interested right now because of the revolution and also because Enjolras, to me, is asexual. Just because he isn’t interested in women DOES NOT MEAN (and many enjoltaire shippers willfully ignore this point) he is interested in men. Enjolras could very well be asexual and not interested in anyone at all.

As for the musical, I appreciate the friends dynamic and I enjoy the interactions they have. But for me, that is not enough for me to ship them. Often times friendships and especially male friendships are default labeled as homosexual which to me is erasure of genuine male friendships which isn’t right. So I appreciate the friendship between them, but that isn’t enough for me to ship them.

Why I don’t ship enjoltaire: the shippers

A huge reason I do not ship enjoltaire has to do with the shippers. At first I could tolerate the shippers but as they became more and more harassing of pretty much the smallest ship in the Les Mis fandom, I began to get pretty frustrated with them. Which resulted in my hatred of the ship as well. Granted, not all enjoltaire shippers are intolerant fucks, but a lot love to overstep their boundaries. They, for some reason, cannot stay in their lane, and continuously harass enjonine shippers and infiltrate the enjonine tag with their bullshit. It’s almost as if they’re so insecure because not everyone ride or dies with their ship that they have to go and ridicule the enjonine shippers. And they frame in the guise of “enjonine shippers are homophobes!” and cry about it in our tag. Calling us homophobes just because we don’t ship their ship is incredibly ludicrous because shipping is FUN and HARMLESS. I don’t care what you ship as long as you stay in your lane and don’t try to force your ship onto others! Those who can’t differentiate between real life and fiction and real life and shipping need to take a step back and reevaluate their lives.

I think it’s funny because many enjoltaire shippers call us queer erasure in an attempt to come off as “woke” which is quite hypocritical on their part because they know that many of us enjonine shippers either view Enjolras as bisexual or asexual. For them to call us that, to me, shows just how ignorant and pigheaded they are; they are fake woke, bashing us for not believing what they do when people are allowed to have different opinions. They’re the ones blatantly ignoring the possibility that Enjolras is asexual or bisexual or even both which, I could turn onto them and call them acephobes and biphobes. But I don’t go to their tag and post a plethora of reason as to why I hate enjoltaire and call them acephobes and biphobes.

Regardless of whether or not enjoltaire is implied in the text, that does not mean I have to ship it either! The ship does not appeal to me. Even if they frickin kissed in canon, the ship would not appeal to me. Victor Hugo could rise from the grave and scream that Enjolras and Grantaire fucked and I would not care. I would not ship them because I don’t like them! For some reason, enjoltaire shippers have their heads so far up their asses, demanding we ship their ship because it’s “canon” through symbolism. They critique us for “not have comprehension skills of the book” but guess what, there are so many people who don’t ship canon! There is nothing wrong with that! And enjoltaire isn’t even confirmed as canon! As far as I’m concerned, it’s all headcanon because nothing confirms a solid relationship. Symbolism can be interpreted. The great thing about literature is that everything is up for interpretation and not everyone has to believe the same thing. There are so many ships out there that go against canon but for some reason enjoltaire shippers think they should get a free pass and everyone needs to ship their ship because their ship is homosexual. But that’s not how fandoms work. Enjoltaire shippers do not have the  right to ridicule enjonine or any other ship just because they think they’re more woke than others for shipping a gay couple.

There was a point where I came close to multishipping Enjolras with Grantaire as well as with Éponine but that concept sank so quick. It’s because of intolerable enjoltaire shippers that I refuse to ship Enjolras with Grantaire and ship him with Éponine even harder.

Why I ship enjonine

In all the different mediums of consuming Les Miserables, I always found myself absolutely adoring Éponine and that’s because I found myself relating to her more than any other character in Les Mis. She is an endearing character with many flaws, feelings, and complexities about her. When I actively found myself liking a character, I’m most likely going to find a ship for that character because I want my characters to be happy and paired. I was also drawn to Enjolras for the very reasons his friends are drawn to him. He’s inspiring, charismatic, and someone who has his flaws as well, who has done wrong for what he believes is right. Both characters are complex because of their beliefs and who they are and I adore them for that. Because of this I want them both to be happy and why not let them be happy together? Éponine could not be happy with Marius because Marius loved Cosette. She could find that happiness with Enjolras! Yep he might not be interested in women because he is focused on his revolution, but the beauty of fanfiction allows authors to tweak canon to suit their fantasies. And there is nothing wrong with that. That’s the whole purpose of fanfiction. The idea of having my two favorite characters get together makes me happy and anyone who thinks they can police my happiness can fuck right off. This ship has gotten me through some of the toughest times of my life and I’ll be damned if I let other peoples’ shitty and harmful opinions devalue that.

The fact that both of these characters have not interacted makes things even more interesting because of the potential they have! I also believe that if they had interacted, their dynamics would be very interesting to see unfold. Because they are both so headstrong and firm in their beliefs, it would make for such engaging fics and it has. I’ve read many enjonine fics and they are so well written and so fun to read because they feel so genuine and sincere to the characters that it makes me ship them even harder. While sparse, there is beautiful enjonine art out there and as a shipper, it makes me giddy.

Not only that, I have met some very sweet and interesting people in the fandom. While very small, most enjonine shippers are so openhearted and encouraging and because of this ship I have met beautiful people made a few friends as well. They have been nothing but kind and have helped me grow as a writer. Because of them my love for enjonine is as strong as it is. While I may not actively participate in the fandom for now, enjonine is the hill I’ll die on. They are my otp because they have helped me through such hard times and as a result made me so happy. So what if I don’t have canon to validate them? So what if other people adamantly despise the ship? If they despise me too, fine by me. I don’t need that negativity and toxicity in my life. I’ll do me and ship what I please and that’s enjonine.

[nancykali]

Hey I donated 6$ and I hope it helps ❤ (Is there anything else we can do to help you? Cheer you up, fill prompts for you?) Can I ask for a "I picked up your bag at the airport but I can't find your number so I'm about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all times by using your strange belongings to track you down" AU for mike/el/will maybe? I'm not yet sure how it could work for an ot3 but I trust you and your amazing writing and I'm sure it's going to be super amazing and wonderful 😍

Mike had never been to an airport before the first springbreak of his college career. So it didn’t surprise him that he had managed totake the wrong bag off the baggage claim when he and his boyfriend Will hadreturned from their week-long vacation at Dustin’s family’s lake house.

And it just happened to be a bag with no ID tag on it. Only when taking the bag from the Uber driver’s trunk had Mike noticed the subtledifferences in the black suitcase telling him it wasn’t his. One peek in thefront pocket had been the damning second clue; it contained not his shavingsupplies, but a book titled Flight bySherman Alexie.

It had taken another two hours to find their way back to theairport, to the baggage claim office, only to discover that not only had no onereturned for the mystery suitcase, but no one had left Mike’s suitcase behind.

Will had comforted Mike on the way back to the dorm with theknowledge that at least Mike’s suitcase had his name, address, and phone numberattached. Whoever had it would have to return it. Mike tried to remainoptimistic, completely blocking out the price of the X Box games he’d packed inthat suitcase.

“It won’t be that hard to find her, she has to go to thesame college as us,” Will told him, seeing the guilt and chagrin on Mike’s face.Will sat across from him on the still absent roommate’s bed, as he and Mikestudied the contents of the suitcase in Mike’s dorm room (as hard as they’dtried, they hadn’t been able to get a dorm room together—Will’s room was eightdoors down the hall. Mike had counted).

“What makes you think that?” Mike said, his face almostburied in his hands, elbows on his knees.

“This t-shirt,” Will said, fishing a shirt from the pile ofhaphazardly folded clothes. It was bright red and had the phrase “Keep Calm andGive Blood” printed on the front in black letters, a silhouette of a “bleeding”jack-o-lantern in the middle.

Mike looked at Will in confusion, and Will answered hissilent question, “I have the same one. Remember last October, the blooddonation campaign? Everyone who donated got this t-shirt.”

“Oh, you’re right!” Mike said, perking up. He hadn’t gottenthe t-shirt, because he hadn’t donated blood. Needles frightened the hell outof him. The first and only time he’d tried donating blood in high school he’dfainted. Will was kind enough not to bring up the embarrassment, he simplyfolded the t-shirt and put it back.

“And we do have a name,” Mike said, picking up the stranger’sbook he’d set on his bed next to him. Inside the front cover, written in smallcursive handwriting, was the name El Hopper.

Encouraged by this information, the boys set off on theirinvestigation.

And quickly hit a roadblock.

There was no “El Hopper” listed as a resident at any of thedorms on campus. Not even anyone with the last name Hopper. They got the sameanswer when they found out who to contact from the blood donation campaign. Noone by that name had donated blood last October.

That same night, with Mike’s roommate still not back fromhis spring break vacation, Will and Mike settled on Mike’s bed to study thesuitcase’s contents further.

They’d turned up nothing useful besides that the owner was asize small, bought Herbal Essences hair products, and seemed fond of the colorpink—more than half of her clothes were a shade of pink, even the socks. Andthe swimsuit (“It’s a bikini, Mike. I know you’ve seen one before. You have twosisters.” “Shutup. This is different. Also you’re gay and I’m not.” Will wasstill smirking so Mike threw a pair of pink socks at him).

It was now nearly 10:00 and they’d ended up taking a “break”that was actually Will leaning against Mike’s headboard, reading El Hopper’sbook, Flight, while Mike rested hishead on Will’s stomach and played a game on his phone.

They both nearly jumped out of their skin when there was aknock on the door. Will and Mike exchanged glances, their expressions and theunspoken question in them mirroring each other. Who the hell could be knocking at Mike’s door at 10pm? Then—no way, it couldn’t be.

Mike shot up to answer the door while Will scrambled to closethe stranger’s suitcase. Mike peripherally saw Will scrambling back for thebook he’d left on Mike’s bed, before he turned back to open the door.

A girl stood there, and she looked to be about Mike and Will’sage. And there was no doubt—she had Mike’s suitcase next to her.

“Hi!” She said brightly, grinning at him. “Are you MikeWheeler?”

Mike blinked a couple times before he realized he was gapinglike a fish. He closed his mouth. “Uh, yeah.”

The girl glanced behind him, obviously seeing Will. Mikeglanced back too—Will was holding what had to be the book behind his back, hischeeks a cute shade of pink.

“I’m Jane,” the girl said, looking back at Mike, her smilefaltering. The guilt returned and Mike could feel his face reddening.

“I have your suitcase. The people at baggage claim said youmight have mine?” she said, tilting her head. She had dark shoulder length curlsthat framed her face perfectly. Mike’s face grew hotter.

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, we, uh, have it. I—um—Come in. Please,”Mike said, stepping aside so she could get past him.

She moved past him and sure enough, she smelled like HerbalEssences shampoo.

Mike closed the door, then made a realization. “You saidyour name was Jane?”

She’d stopped in the middle of the room, feet away fromWill, who stood in front of El Hopper’s suitcase as if guarding it, though hecontinued to look as guilty as Mike felt.

Looking up at him (she had to be nearly a foot and a halfshorter than him) Jane nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry there was no ID tag on my bag.I’d never gone out of town before, it just slipped my mind.” She looked down atMike’s suitcase, then back up to him. Her grin was back. “They do look nearlythe same, don’t they?”

Mike nodded mutely, then looked over to see Will staringpointedly at him. He looked at Jane, who was also staring at him. Curiously.Why did she look at him like that?

“This is Will,” Mike said, nodding toward Will, who gave atight smile and shook Jane’s hand. They exchanged nice-to-meet-you’s and thenJane added, “Are you Mike’s roommate?”

“Boyfriend.” Mike and Will spoke in unison.

“Oh, cool,” Jane said, smiling, not at all awkward orforced. Mike could literally see the stiffness go out of Will’s shoulders.

“Um, we were trying to find you,” Will said, holding out thebook Flight to her. “But the name inhere says ‘El Hopper’. Is she a friend of yours?”

Jane took the book, laughing and shaking her head. “No, no,El is me. El is my nickname. Middle name, really. I guess,” she said,shrugging. The way she said it made Mike think there was more to it, but hewasn’t going to press.

Will turned to pick up Jane’s—El’s—suitcase and hand it toher, and seeing Will was about to offer some sort of explanation, Mike quicklysaid, “We were trying to find clues. To find you. Um. That’s why your stuff isgonna be kind of…”

Jane was looking at him, her brows raised in question. Hewas rubbing the back of his neck, all but sweating now. He floundered, tryingto find the right word. Will remained unhelpfully silent.

“…Disorganized,” Mike finished lamely.

Jane’s mouth quirked. It was not the response he expected.She glanced between him and Will.

“It wasn’t that organized to begin with,” she said, laughterin her voice.

There was a few beats of silence while Jane replaced herbook in the front pocket Mike had found it in. Mike blurted out, “Is your lastname Hopper then?”

Jane’s eyes snapped up at him, this time looking genuinelysurprised. Then even more interesting—her expression became guarded.

“No, it’s Ives. Jane Ives,” she said. There wasn’t even ahint of a smile on her face anymore. Mike bit the inside of his cheek,wondering how much he’d screwed up.

Will cut in, “So that’s why we couldn’t find out if you livedin any of the dorms. We thought we could find you that way.”

Jane looked at him and nodded. “That makes sense. I haven’thad the last name Hopper for a few years. It’s a long story,” she said, hereyes moving down and away. Then she shrugged again. “I live in the dorm rightnext to you guys actually.”

“Cool! You guys have the better dining hall,” Will said,smiling at her. She smiled back, and Mike felt a pang in his chest. He wouldn’trecognize what it was until later, and then he’d be furious with himself.

“Want to meet there for lunch sometime? Mike and I havesimilar schedules, we’re free after two most days,” Will said, adding on, “Iwant to ask you more about Alexie. I started reading it, he seems really good.”

Jane’s eyes brightened. “I love all his work. I’lldefinitely rec you more of his stuff,” she said, then glanced at Mike, bitingher lower lip. Mike only had time enough to hope he didn’t look as idiotic ashe felt.

“Are you guys free after two on Wednesdays?” Jane asked,directing her question to Will.

“Definitely,” Will said.

“Okay! Well, I’ll see you guys then,” Jane said, walking tothe door, pulling her suitcase behind her. She opened the door, then beforewalking out, made a show of checking her bag. Then she gave that same grin,directed at both of them. “Had to make sure,” she said. She winked and gave alittle wave, before shutting the door behind her.

A couple beats of silence passed. Mike grew hot with embarrassment,and turned to see Will grinning diabolically at him.

“Did you just make a lunch date…for me?” Mike said, noemotion in his voice.

“Kinda had to, you were making cow eyes at her the wholetime, I had to do something,” Will said, pulling Mike’s suitcase across the roomand lifting it onto his bed.

“You’re my boyfriend,”Mike almost yelled.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m chaperoning.”

“Chaperoning?”

“Jane seems pretty cool, I want to see her again too, y’know,”Will said, unzipping Mike’s suitcase. Still not looking at him.  

Mike huffed, not replying. He couldn’t think of what to say.Will was right. Jane did seem cool. He definitely wanted to see her again, too.But why?

Then Mike saw something that made his stomach drop.

“Will, goddammit,” Mike said.

“What?” Will said, turning to him.

Mike pointed. On the floor in front of Mike’s TV stand was apair of Jane’s pink socks.

[anghraine]

Having been wowed by your fanfic ("wandering inside this night" holds a special place in my RO heart), I'm curious: what is your writing/editing process like?

Oh, thank you!

My writing process really varies depending on what I’m doing, but I can explain it in terms of wandering inside this night.

It’s long and rambly, so you can scroll down for a very concise tl;dr version of The Process.

1. Eureka!

I pretty much always start out with 1) a vague sense of something I want to write about, and I sort of mentally fish around until I land on an idea, or 2) an idea pops into my head, or 3) some combination of both.

The last two are the most common for me—I have more ideas than I could ever write. With wandering, it was definitely that way. 

I was hollering into my tags about the Cassian-Leia parallels pretty early, which … Jyn-Han is obvious, but I felt like the Cassian-Leia ones went relatively unnoticed but were probably more profound. And as spies in the ragtag ANH-era Rebellion, it’s more than possible that they’d know each other; I’d made babbling posts, but I really wanted to do something with it. So I sketched out a backstory in until the last chance is spent, but I still wanted more, and also to get into Han-Jyn at the same time, and also just—have something fun! And suddenly (I was actually at a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert, lol) the idea popped into my head of jumping to the Han/Leia meltdown of 1980 with established relationship Jyn/Cassian.

2. Percolation

This is particularly important for longer fic (or any long-form writing, really), but it helps with shorter things, too. It’s where you’re not actively working to figure out details or more ideas, much less writing, just passively letting your mind wander. It’s best if you’re actually doing something else—something that doesn’t take much attention, but enough that you can’t completely focus on your thoughts, like showering or washing dishes or something.

When something does come to mind, I scribble it down (or stick it in a doc in some form that will hopefully make sense to me later). Sometimes it’ll be scraps of dialogue, or a phrase I want to make sure gets in somewhere, or a plot-point, just anything that pops up. Ideally, though, I don’t write anything beyond that—just note down anything I might forget and let my ideas develop freely. 

Normally, I’d only do so much of that with something like wandering (fairly short, fairly light). But I ended up snowed in with my extended family, where I was both bored and unable to sit down and write. So I’m sitting there entertaining myself by imagining Jyn and Han, drinking buddies, and how that’d work with the Cassian-Leia brotp of ruthless idealism (Han would be jealous!), and just having that percolating in my head while I read fic and let stray thoughts pass through my mind. (‘Okay but Cassian would fucking hate Han’ being uppermost among them, lol)

3. Brainstorming/Outline

At this point, I try to pin down the free-floating ideas and/or organize what scraps I have into something coherent. With something longer, like ad astra, I generally do a pretty traditional outline—decide what the story is specifically going to cover, and where the things I’ve actually written fit with that, and what’s going to go in the spaces between.

It’s not classroom-style brainstorming; I usually brainstorm ideas by trying to put together an outline. I’ll be “okay, I want to start with something like that shot of Jyn on the platform with an Imperial ship at the end, but it’s Bodhi” and “they get sucked into the Death Star and Jyn exploits Cassian’s injuries to get in” and then I sit down and figure out how I’m going to get from one to the other. “Okay, so—there’s no way they can actually get Kaytoo, but maybe something—yeah, she just up and grabs his dismembered head l o l, okay, and there’s the jump into the ship which rattles Cassian further, and she’d try to treat him with whatever supplies are available, and we’d have Bodhi trying to get out without being shot down, and maybe I can work in the your father would have been proud of you line, and Jyn goes to check on Bodhi and they see the Death Star and…”

Also, it helps a ton to actually talk ideas over with someone else. With me, it’s generally @steinbecks​—not some strict ‘this, then this, then this, tell me what you think’, but ‘I had this idea’ and ‘OK BUT IMAGINE IF’ and ‘haha yeah exactly’ and ‘shit you’re right they do change outfits’ etc. 

4) Drafting (The Big One)

Ideally, I only get to this after nailing down an outline or at least getting a lot figured out in chats/notes to myself. That’s what I did for pretty much all my most successful longfics—First Impressions (f!Darcy/m!Elizabeth), Season of Courtship (Darcy and Elizabeth’s engagement), we get dark, only to shine (AU of The Borgias that moves the canon pairing getting together from S3 to S1), and now ad astra. It helps a TON if you have trouble with discipline and direction, as I do, because you can always go back to it and figure out where you need to be headed when you’re muddled/uninspired, even if some details change along the way. (They always do, for me.)

I did some of that with wandering, but … I was snowed-in, lol, and finally everyone had gone to sleep and my head was full of ideas. So I laid down with my laptop and just dove right in with the only clear line I had in mind: 

Han Solo once had apleasant conversation with Cassian Andor.

Just once.

That was where I planned it to begin! The actual beginning came later, because I very quickly ran into a problem—the sentence worked to jump into exposition, not an actual scene. And with the exposition, I needed to introduce 1) Cassian’s hatred of Han, 2) Han’s lesser but firm dislike, 3) Cassian and Leia’s history together as spies, 4) Han’s brief and half-hearted attempt to suck up, 5) Jyn and Cassian being married, 6) Han’s friendship with Jyn, 7) Han’s jealousy as contrasted to Cassian and Jyn’s mutual trust, etc. Yikes.

So I kept getting mired down in explanations and flashbacks (I actually wrote the scene where Jyn drunkenly complains about finding something for Cassian’s birthday, lol) that slowed it down. And I wasn’t really happy with anything—I constantly niggled at sentences and moved things around and rephrased and it just didn’t work right. I actually have the document I worked in (I didn’t have Internet at the time), so you can see this sort of intermediate stage:

I niggled with it for the rest of the vacation, then it hit me that the issue was that starting a fic with exposition was the real problem. Starting with ESB-era Han just being ESB-era Han could let me work the exposition section in, and without the pressure of it being the opening section I could keep it to a tangential aside and move the jealousy around and so forth. And from there I could just leap to the canon scene with bonus Cassian-Leia shared indignation, and impulsively I added Kaytoo at the end. 

Moral of the story: if you keep trying to make something work and it just won’t, there’s probably something deeper going on. Take a step back and figure out why it’s not working, and often you’ll be able to correct course. Once I tacked in that little ‘Han sulks’ section at the beginning, it all fell together easily. 

5) Revising!

You can probably guess from #4 that I do a lot of this as I write rather than after I write. That’s true, to an extent.

It can be a very … I wouldn’t say discouraging, but sluggish way to write, because you end up struggling over phrases you might not even keep in the end. I genuinely think it’s best to at least try to restrain the impulse to polish everything, but at the same time, there are some of us who genuinely can’t keep going if the current section isn’t working (again, see #4!). So I allow myself a certain amount of freedom in polishing-as-I-go, while restraining the impulse to do anything more substantial. The single best way of doing this is sprinting—writing in short, timed bursts with little to no editing, ideally with a partner that you check in with. (Again, I generally do this with @steinbecks​.)

However, even if you edit as you go and turn out pretty clean drafts, you should still revise at the end. What I generally do is, first of all, just quickly re-read. The writing process is a lot slower than the reading one, and it’s easy to get so focused on particular passages or sections that you lose sight of how it’s working as a whole. So that quick read-through is a way to back up and see how it’s holding together. It’s best if you give yourself a break before you do this—a day or two at least, to get your mind out of the writing mode and look at it with relatively fresh eyes. 

(I will say that I almost never wait. But I do pretty much always end up editing chapters yet again in the first couple of days after I’ve posted them. Sometimes it’s contuinity, sometimes a passage that isn’t working quite the way I thought, whatever. There’s always something. It’s why the chapters I post at Dreamwidth are generally cleaner than the ones at Tumblr, which are cleaner than the first versions posted at AO3.)

However you do that read-through, the most important for me is the next one. At this point, I read the whole fic/chapter/essay/whatever from start to finish—out loud. In fact, if it’s possible, I’ll do a full-on dramatic reading. By reading aloud, you can catch things like typos that your mind silently corrects for your eyes, but also it’s easier to notice sentence-level problems like repeated words/phrases and unvaried sentence structure. If something makes me cringe when I read it aloud, I cut it or rewrite. If saying it aloud makes it sound wrong for the character, it probably is wrong for the character. Sometimes I do the dramatic reading revision two or three times.

And then I either post or print!

The short version:

1) I get an idea, 2) I let the ideas develop without thinking too hard about them, 3) I nail down and think up specific ideas, mostly through chat and/or outlines, 4) I plow through a draft, rearranging/adding material if things just aren’t working, and 5) I revise, once with a quick re-read of the whole thing, and then again by slowly reading it aloud to myself to catch problems with (primarily) mechanics, voice, and word choice.