#but rats and bears being the same is the big one for me because of how true it is

[skullhazard]

A core component of my worldview is understanding that rats and bears are the same creature.

[derangedanomaly]

Woi!! You're still taking requests, right? If it's okay, can you do any sanses x fem!reader who's kinda like Niffty from hazbin hotel? You know, like obsessed with cleaning, extremely hyper, and a little,,, deranged? [Cute emoji]

Bonus points if reader is short. The chaotic little rat <3

Yes! I love my girl Niffty! I swear, she's so silly. I think that this is a fun request! Thank you! And since you left me to pick out the Sanses, I'll do those that aren't requested much! Thank you for the request!

Masterlist

SANS AUS X READER THAT ACTS LIKE NIFFTY

(Sci, Fresh, Epic, Horror, Ink)

Sci:

Likes having you around, because you clean up his lab 💀

I swear, he tries to clean it up, but he just doesn't have patience and the time for it.

You're a blessing for real.

The thing he's not very happy about, is how hyper you are.. you have too much energy, that you sometimes mess up an experiment of his on accident.

He tried to observe why you're so hyper all the time, but you just kept staring at him, doing absolutely nothing

He got shocked when he realized that you completely took over his normally busy schedule.

Doesn't comment on your height, but he will laugh whenever you're trying to get something that's too high up.

Do you need a lift?

He doesn't know why, or how, but you somehow wormed your way to his heart.. this needs to be figured out!

Fresh:

The first thing he immediately noticed, (besides your height), is that you like to stare. A lot.

He gets a little uncomfortable at your staring... So he will probably just leave while you're having your own staring contest. 💀 (Him?? UNCOMFORTABLE?! The skeleton that makes everyone else uncomfortable??? Well that's a first.)

Laughs whenever you're running around cleaning everything. But when he accidentally mentions that his house is a mess, he'll immediately freeze upon noticing the FATAL mistake he just did. 💀

Shares the same amount of hyper energy as you. Which makes you a pretty good duo. That's rad brah!

I swear, everyone audibly groans whenever they see you two together. They just know that it's gonna be pretty unbearable when you're both involved.

Likes your shortness. Gives him an excuse to hold you. ❤️

Epic:

Lmao this meme master constantly jokes about your height.

Tell the bugs I said hi.💀

Doesn't appreciate whenever you're cleaning because you pay no attention to him! :(

But you're a pretty good motivation if he does say himself. Like, you're always so determined to clean everything you come across! It's a motivation, really.

Doesn't know what to think about your derangement. Kinda creeps him out at times, not gonna lie.

Horror:

Horror is pretty big, so you look like a leaf next to him.

But the difference is, is that Horror is like a cuddly bear towards you, and you're like a menace to society.

It makes him feel warm whenever he finds you cleaning.

After awhile, Horror will probably start to think that you're a married couple. You're cleaning for him, cooking for him (which he helps you out with), hell, you do SO many things for him. (He's just confused with what your relationship is 😭)

He likes how deranged you are. Makes him at ease knowing that you won't freak out when he brings a dead human home.

He keeps saying that you're like his sun. (MY HEART)

Ink:

You're both short asf. So when he makes a comment about you being short, you make one right back.

You're both just stuck in a never ending insult game about your heights. 💀

Doesn't get why you're always cleaning. He doesn't see the point if it's gonna get dirty again anyways.

The only thing he probably likes about you is how hyper you are. (You're matching energies.)

You, Fresh and Ink would be a really dangerous trio 💀

Overall, you both don't really get along. But that's only because Ink is always salty. 🙄

[hegoeshardasfuck]

you let me complicate you

wordcount: 1K

tags: oral sex, praise, he/him lesbian chilchuck beloved, binding, thighs, check Ao3 for full tags

synopsis: even the most professional succumb to the lure of sex, the isolation of the dungeon only makes it harder to deny for a woman like Chilchuck

authors note: hee hoo butch lesbians, if ya enjoy consider checkin' the Ao3 port

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56102938

"You're getting better at this," He abruptly praised one night with you between his legs, fingers knotted in your hair as you ate him out. Red rises to his face when he realizes what he's done, before you can look at him dumbfounded he's tightening his grip.

Your fingers claw into his outer thighs, his ankles crossed between your shoulder blades. Praise from Chilchuck, you savour the flavour because you know that it'll never come from him again. He's too cold for that, too professional, and yet his heels knock against your back as you glide your fang over his clit. One hand is in your hair the other is covering his mouth because you're still in the dungeon.

Can't be too loud, it'd be a massive fucking mess if he was loud enough to attract any monsters. It'd be a whole other kind of mess if they found out that Chilchuck's been playing the role of a guy for so long. You're the exception to the facade, the only exception because you're just like him. Bandages wrapped tight around your chest and ailed every two weeks with agony but playing a role with intensive skill.

He shudders as you claw up his thigh to his hip and his ass. A full body tremor coursing through him paired with a light and breathy moan that you live for in the dungeon. His nails dig into your scalp and the pressure between your shoulder blades increase as you lap eagerly at him.

He bites down on the leather of the glove as orgasm rocks him, thighs bearing down as he tries to hold a calm expression. He unravels under your simple actions and when he unhitches his ankles you rear back, gasping just a bit. You wipe away the excess with the back of your hand and go to smudge it off onto your blanket, but he stops you.

"Don't," He falters which is new, new and exciting and enticing, "Lick it off."

You quirk a brow.

"Or don't," He rolls his eyes only to go rigid when you drag your tongue across the back of your hand. That might be a bit hotter than he accounted for, just a bit.

He stares as you clean your hand of every single drop. Eyes locked to the smug look on your face and the tongue that unwound him like it was no big deal not even five minutes go. The casualness of it all makes him shudder, eat him out and use that same tongue to clean up the mess, and those same hands to slaughter monsters the next day.

Your hands lay down atop his thighs, drumming your fingers rhythmically. You slowly trace down the curve to the inner thigh and glide up, swiping excess with your thumbs swiftly. He yips as you brush nearly overstimulated skin with the back of your thumbnail. You spread him open with your two thumbs, fingers resting just below his abdomen.

"What are you planning?" It's a threat, but it's open ended enough that you don't see the harm. What's he gonna do about it anyways? Kill you? He's too small to do that effectively, even though you're not much larger despite being human.

"Clean up," You murmur, words quiet enough that you doubt even the rats could hear. But when you glance up at him he has this flabbergasted look on his face, ears bright red. You smirk a bit before raising your thumbs and ducking your head to lap at his innermost thigh.

Sharp inhales and staggering panting filter past parted lips with one hand propping up his thigh and tongue gliding between labia and leg. He doesn't dare tangle up your hair again because this isn't for pleasure, at least he tells himself that it isn't for pleasure, that this is to clean up. He's having a hard time with it.

Your nails dig into his hip as you transfer to the other side and his hand rests heavy on your shoulder, gripping tight. He's biting his tongue and he swears it's gonna start bleeding if you keep fucking teasing instead of just calling it a night. You don't stop, you lay on harder. Sliding a thumb to his cunt and pressing down just hard enough to phantom penetration but not quite, he can only whimper. He shakes as you nip at his thigh, he gives a choked out moan as he throws back his head.

You retract your thumb and press your tongue flat, the sound he gives borders on an exhale and a moan. His muscles relax under your grip as you slowly, oh so very slowly, drink up the excess like it's wine. You don't mean to grip his hip as tightly as you do, or his ass, it just happens. You don't let go until he actively swats away your hands and yanks up your head by the hair.

You're grinning. This dumb, exhausted look on your face as you lick your lips. You slowly retract yourself from between his lap and he reaches out to your chest. Flat, constricted, sensitive- you squirm as he presses at the gauze and slides a finger between the layering folds.

"Payback," Chilchuck laughs lightly as he speaks, reaching for the safety pin but instead opting to just slide his fingers past the top of it. They dip between tightly wound bandages and skin without abandon, you go rigid.

"Chilchuck, don't," You try to keep it a threat but he just smirks instead.

He slowly slides down a different layer, the pressure sparking euphoria across your entire body. He leans in closer, "Make me."

You lean back, knees bent over each other and spreading as Chilchuck slots himself between them. Your eyes are squeezed shut as he rolls one hand down your side to press down next to your ribs and under the gauze.

"You're gonna be a good girl and sit tight for me while I repay you," Chilchuck explained, voice firm and unwavering. It's a demand and an offer wrapped into one, an equal exchange because he's a business woman if nothing else.

You nod slowly, "Got it, ma'am."

His fingers twitch as you call him ma'am instead of sir.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hi Petri <3, so this request is a bit longer than the other's so bear with me (and my broken English lol). I was thinking about a Minho x fem!reader where she's from maze B and is close friends with Aris, so she's with him in the whole cafeteria scene where he gets introduced (while the boys are excited about the food, beds, girls and etc. and Thomas is having a bad feeling about that place). She's more positive about being there than Aris cause they been through a lot and she just want a little rest, but when she sees what that place really is she's terrified and is willing to do everything to get out, so Minho sees this fire in her and kinda likes it. (I don't know if it made any sense 😬, but I trust you to make a good fic out of it)

Oo, I do like more plot-driven requests like this, they give me more to work with :))

DECEPTION IN LIBERATION

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Movie based fic.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, violence, teenage boys still not knowing how to act in the presence of a girl, WICKED spelt WCKD because movies, Rat Man aka Janson, probably innacurate Group B slang thanks to Wikipedia.

Just 'cause you wouldn't know the characters' names doesn't mean I don't, so the Gladers' names are used before you meet them. Because there is no way this would work if I couldn't use their names.

You'd escaped the Maze.

Finally, after all this time, you'd escaped, and now you were safe. The years of torture and stress are now behind you and you can finally start to heal.

Your friends are safe. You're safe. And so are an entire group of teenagers who apparently went through the same things you did. WCKD definitely had big plans, but that doesn't matter anymore.

It's over.

At least that's what you think.

You playfully nudge Aris. The measly boy sits next to you, hoodie hiding his face as he stares at the table in front of you. You guys escaped the Maze first, meaning that you were the first to arrive. They keep taking people away; Aris' best friend Rachel was one of the first.

And he's been distant ever since.

You've been keeping an eye on him. Though, it is hard trying to spend time with the boy when he barely speaks nowadays.

You nudge him again. "C'mon, Aris, you've been avoiding us for-finching-ever." He scoffs, shaking his head. "What's goin' on?"

"You won't listen to me, so what does it matter?" You sigh, shuffling slightly and swinging your leg over one side of the bench to look him at him straight.

"Of course I'll listen to you. What's going on?"

From a few feet away, the Gladers have started talking to boys from other groups, and have taken note of Aris.

And therefore, you too.

"Who's the girl he's with?" Minho ask the unknown boy, eyes fixation on you.

The boys shrugs. "Just some chick he was in the Maze with."

"Lucky shank," Frypan chuckles.

Thomas, however, takes note of Aris. He's not like the other people that are sitting around and chatting. He's reserved, sunk low into the table and not even looking at you as his hood hides him.

"Aris," his eyes flicker to you, "I'm always gonna listen to you- talk to me."

He hesitates but takes a deep breath. "There's something wrong here," he mumbles, his voice barely a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"Something is going on- the Guard's are armed, our friends keep getting taken away, and..."

"And?" You push him to continue and he shuffles closer.

"Don't tell anyone, please."

You start to feel anxious. This is getting weird. "Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"At night, I've been sneaking through the vent tunnels-"

"What?" You hiss. "That's so dangerous."

"I know, I know- but they go all over the building, a-and they take people into this... room that I can't get into. There's something weird going on. I know it sounds weird and you won't believe me, but-"

"I believe you," you trust Aris, and he's smart, so if he thinks something isn't quite right, then chances are something isn't quite right. "But what do we do?"

"Teresa!" Both of you perk up as you watch Thomas, who you're yet to know, stand up from his table, marching over to the doors to try and follow a girl behind some windows.

He's quickly stopped by some guards, but he's clearly agitated.

"Maybe he could help?" You blink at Aris. "We need all the help we can get. I'll show him what I mean- you too."

○ ○ ○

If you knew when you'd escaped the Maze that you'd end up stuck in another round of twisting and confusing corridors in the form of the vent system, you might've actually killed someone.

Aris, on the other hand, seems happily at home as he crawls around the tight spaces.

You're awkwardly crouching around the corner whilst Aris goes to get this Thomas kid.

After a few seconds, your friend reemerges, with the boy hot on his heels. He blinks at you and you give an awkward peace sign before Aris hurries him along.

"Come on."

You both follow him through the vent system, Thomas in front of you.

"Hey, wait a second." Thomas grumbles, clearly questioning how he gets himself on these situations. "What the hell are we doing?"

"Come on, we're gonna miss it," Aris says.

"Sorry," you answer instead, "he thinks you might be able to help- he reckons something weird's goin' on here. I don't really know."

You crawl into a more open area- even you don't really know what's going on.

"What are we doing?" Thomas asks again and it's kind of funny that he even came in the first place.

"Shh. Come here," Aris waves you both over. You both hover over an open-ish vent that looks down over a corridor.

One of the doctors appears, following by a strange trolley that seems to have a person in a body bag with a screen over the face. The screen shows vitals and other medical information, making you and Thomas exchange concerned glances.

"What the hell was that?" Thomas asks for the both of you.

"They bring in new ones every night like clockwork." Aris answers.

"What do they do with them?" You ask, even though you probably already know the answer.

"I don't know. This is as far as I've ever gotten. The vents don't even go into that section. But once they go through that door, they don't come back out." Aris pauses, visibly shaken. "I don't think anyone ever really leaves this place."

"C'mon," you say, "we gotta go before someone notices we're gone."

"Why'd you show me this?" Thomas asks, stopping you both.

"Because maybe the others will listen to you. There's something weird going on here- I know you think so too."

"Hey, wait," you stop again, "what's your names?"

"Aris," your friend answers, "and this is (Y/N)."

And with that, your friend crawls ahead.

"You're Thomas, right?" He blinks at you. "I heard some of your friends say it in the cafeteria."

He nods, and you offer him a reassuring smile. "It's nice to meet you, Thomas."

○ ○ ○

Janson reads out more names of people as you sit in the dining area. Apparently, Aris and Thomas spoke briefly earlier- they have some kind of plan regarding a key card.

You're, quite frankly, scared to watch.

Thomas has told the members from Group A what he saw, they seem skeptical at best. But, they seem to be a strong group and with most of Group B gone, you have little choice but to hope Thomas can convince them.

Thomas suddenly stands up, storming towards the doors and trying to blend in with the people's whose names were called.

He's stopped fairly quickly.

You can't quite make out what's going on, but when a guard sharply points into Thomas' chest, you're already on your feet.

"(Y/N)-" Aris hisses, but the plan isn't going to work if Thomas gets himself in trouble. You can't let this go south.

Thomas pretends to walk away, before turning and diving into the guard. All of the Gladers are on their feet in seconds, jumping to Thomas' defence.

"What the hell's your problem, man?" Thomas shouts as he gets shoved again and you dive in.

Pushing the guy back, you stand protectively in front of the boy. "Back the fuck off, man- you think shoving a kid around makes you tough?"

The boys exchange glances.

Who is this girl? Where did she come from? How come she's helping Thomas? Why does Thomas get all the girls? What is happening?"

"Control your friend!" The guard yells just as Janson bursts through them.

"What's happening here?" Janson seems lost for a second as he looks at the boy. "Thomas? I thought we could trust each other." He touches the boys shoulder and you go to step forward again, only for Thomas to slightly put his arm out, stopping you from intervening.

"You know we're all on the same team here."

"Are we?" Thomas asks.

Janson seems irritated by this and you ball your fists. You could punch this guy and give the Gladers an easy distraction- it would give them and Aris time.

You think about it until a hand grabs your wrist. You look up and meet the eyes of an Asian boy. He's tall, tanned skin and dark, swept up hair. He's handsome, but something in his dark eyes is telling you to stop.

And for some reason, you do. Relaxing your muscles, but returning your attention to Janson- Minho doesn't let go.

"Get them to their bunks."

In a matter of seconds, you're all separated. You just about manage to get to Aris before going to your separate rooms- agreeing to meet at Thomas' vent.

You can hear bickering as you approach, just catching Aris before he knocks down the vent.

"Hey, Thomas," he says casually.

"What the...?" You catch from one of the boys.

"You got it, didn't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go. Where's your friend?"

"Right here!" Your voice echos on the metal from behind Aris. "Getting real finchin' sick of crawlin' around, though."

"Alright, maybe you guys are right," Thomas says to his friends, "maybe I'm just paranoid. But I gotta find out for sure. Just cover for me, I'll be back as soon as I can."

Making the same trip as last time, Aris and Thomas jump down out of the vent, with you staying up there to help them get back up again and keep watch.

You anxiously crouch, watching as you wait for the boys to return.

"C'mon, guys," you mumble to yourself, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

What feels like hours passes, but it couldn't have been more than five minutes, when Thomas and Aris burst out of the room. Both of them are clearly worked up.

You open the vent. "C'mon!" Offering a hand, they struggle back up, but eventually they join you again. "What happened?"

"We gotta go," is all Thomas says, "we gotta go!"

The boys are rapid at getting through the vents, Thomas bursting into his friends room. He, quite literally, throws the vent cover across the room.

"Thomas!" Someone shouts as he frantically scrambles into the room.

"We gotta go! We gotta go right now!" Thomas says as you and Aris both struggle out of the vent, still yet to have an explanation from either of them.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Minho, whose name you're yet to learn, asks.

"What do you mean 'we gotta go'?" Newt adds on, all of the boys in a frenzy.

"They're coming! Come on! We gotta go!"

"Thomas! What's going on?" You try to grab him but he brushes past you, grabbing things and starting to try and block the door.

You look at Aris, who is completely shook to the core so there's no getting anything out of him.

"What happened?" Frypan yells. "Aris, what happened?" He shouts at the timid boy, getting too close.

"Don't shout at him!" You pull him away. "He's terrified! He ain't gonna tell you klank!"

"Thomas! Can you just calm down and talk to us!" Newt begs, the whole room in a frenzy.

"She's still alive!" Thomas says.

That's ominous.

"Who's she? Teresa?" Frypan asks.

"Who the finch is Teresa?" You ask.

"Ava." Thomas is blunt now.

"Ava?" Newt repeats, watching his friend desperately try and tie the door shut. "Will you just turn around and talk to us?"

"It's WCKD!" Thomas snaps, turning around to face you all. The group freezes. "It's still WCKD. It's always been WCKD."

"Shit," scrambling to help, Thomas seems almost relieved that someone else is doing something as you help him move a mattress to block the door.

"Thomas," Newt stops him. "What did you see?"

Thomas gives a very vague explantion- a video call with Ava Paige and bodies strung up and being tested on.

That's all you guys need to start your escape.

"Come on, let's go!" You usher all the boys towards the vent, letting them go before you.

The Asian boy from before is last, hesitating for a second.

"Ladies first?" He says.

"Minho!" Someone from inside the vent shouts. "Not the shuckin' time, man!"

"Go," you tell him and he obeys. At least you know his name now.

Thomas somehow ends up leading the way as you all try to fight through the crawl space.

He breaks out into a corridor you don't recognise, the rest of you hot on his heels.

"Come on! Come on!" He ushers you towards him. "Okay, okay, let's go!"

"You guys go ahead, there's something I gotta do," Aris states and you look at him.

"What are you talking about?" Thomas steps towards him.

"Trust me, it's important. You guys wanna get outta here, right? Just go."

"I'll go with him," one boy offers.

"Okay, Winston, go! Go!" Thomas takes charge, and you learn another boy's name. "Come on!"

You hesitate, watching Aris start to take off, you go to follow him but Thomas grabs you. "You're with us, okay? Stay close."

You're reluctant, but you nod.

"You sure we can trust this kid?" Minho asks.

"You don't wanna know where we'd be without him," you're glad to hear that Thomas has faith in your friend.

You turn a corner, immediately bumping into the same doctor you saw earlier. You all freeze.

"What are you kids doing out?" She asks.

Then the sirens start blaring.

Which is enough of a hint, I suppose.

"Move," you demand, stepping forward and grabbing the doctor. She struggles, but you grab her wrist, twisting it behind her back and pushing her in front of you. "You're gonna show us how to get outta here."

The boys exchange looks once again. But, Minho smirks- he almost impressed at this point.

"Let's move."

The group starts the make their way down the halls.

"We gotta get Teresa." Thomas states.

"Who?" You question him. "Who is that?"

"A friend."

"A friend? Seriously? We- oh, finch it, I don't know who any of you guys are either."

"I'm Newt, if that helps." The blond says.

"Frypan."

You look at him. "You're called Frypan?"

"I'm-"

"Yes, I know who you are, Minho."

Rounding another corner, you're almost immediately met by gunshot. You're quick to retreat, letting go of Dr Crawford as she also ducks for cover.

"They're shooting at us!"

"No shit!"

You back away, running in the other direction when Minho suddenly stops.

"Minho!" Thomas yells. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Minho!" You yell as the boy starts charging in the direction of the shooter.

Just as he rounds the corner, Minho jumps, kneeing the guy in the chest and causing him to crash into the wall, knocking him out cold.

All of you, including Crawford, run over, staring at the guy on the floor in some kind of awe.

"Shit, Minho," Newt says and you snort.

"Not bad, stick," you grin at him, watching as he smiles himself, "not bad at all."

Thomas grabs the Launcher, using it to direct the doctor as you make your way to this girl you don't know.

"Dr. Crawford," a scientist says as you force her to pretend to open the door, only for Thomas to follow her and everyone go into a panic.

"Where is she? Where is she!" Thomas is pointing the gun at anyone and everyone as they put their hands on their heads.

He passes the gun to Minho as he rips away a curtain, revealing a girl.

"Get down!" Minho yells. "Get down, now!"

The scientists and doctors all get on the ground as Newt starts tying their hands together to deem them less of a threat.

"You're never gonna get away with this!" Doctor Crawford threatens.

"Yeah?" You scoff. "Watch us."

"Guys!" Frypan, who's watching the door shouts. "They're coming! Where do we go?!"

"Frypan! Move!" Newt pushes over a medical table, shoving it in front of the door just as it's nearly forced open.

"Get back!" Minho grabs your wrist, pulling you behind him along with his friends. "Get back!" He points the gun at the door, keeping you all protected. "Okay! We gotta get outta here! Where do we go?"

"Everybody stand back!" Thomas yells, picking up a chair and slamming it against the glass window, only for it to bounce off. "Newt! Help! Help!"

The boy grabs another chair. "Ready?"

At the same time, they smash the glass, sending shards scattering everywhere as you use your hand to shield your face.

"Go! Go! Go!"

It's a blur of action and yelling as you all try to climb out of the window.

"Hurry! Go!" Minho yells, lingering back before tossing the Launcher to Thomas and jumping over himself.

"Stay behind me," Thomas instructs you all as he opens the door, revealing another Guard.

Which he immediately shoots.

In a burst of sparks and electricity, the man hits the floor, his body seizing and twitching uncontrollably.

You're stunned for a second, but you recollect fairly quickly. Running past the guy, all of you break into a sprint, eager to escape as you near the exit.

"There it is!" Reaching the door, Thomas tries the key card, which denies access.

"Shit! Come on!" Thomas begs. "No, no, no!"

"Thomas!" You spin to see Janson making his way down the corridor. Handing you the key card, he raises his weapon, walking towards them.

"Open the door, Janson!" He yells.

"You really don't want me to."

"Open the damn door!"

"Listen to me!" The Rat Man snaps. "I'm trying to save your life. The Maze is one thing, but you kids won't last a day out in the Scorch. If the elements don't kill you, the Cranks will. Thomas, you have to believe me. I only want what's best for you."

"Yeah, let me guess, WCKD is good?"

Whilst this exchange is going down, you're desperately trying to open the door. Both Newt and Minho stand by your sides, pushing and grabbing at the door to see if that does anything.

"You're not getting through that door, Thomas."

As if the Gods themselves were listening, the key pan suddenly lights up green. Whirring as it rises, it reveals Aris and Winston standing there.

"Hey, guys," Aris says and relief washes over you.

"You crazy bastard," you laugh. "Come on!"

"Thomas! Come on! Let's go!" Newt yells.

Thomas starts shooting, the amo quickly running out, so he launches the weapon towards them.

Janson barks orders down his radio and the door starts to quick close.

You all start to yell words of encouragement, pushing Thomas as he starts to bolt towards the door. He hits the floor, sliding aross the mouth surface as he slips under it.

"Move! Move!" Aris slams a pipe into the pad, breaking it as the rest of you grab as many supplies from nearby as possible.

You're in some kind of warehouse area, all of you sprinting towards another set of giant doors; WCKD personnel flooding from all areas.

You reach them first, pulling on a handle and having to cover your face from flying sand as they open.

Running out into the desert, all you can do is tell each other to keep moving, and that you'll lose them in the storm. It's dark and windy and hard to run.

Following the girl, she finds a building buried in the sand, and you're the first to following as you slip into the shelter.

Eventually, you all have a moment to catch your breaths, using a flashlight to illuminate your new surroundings.

You're too busy examining to listen to Thomas' full explanation and the Gladers' arguing.

Eventually, they come up with some plan to find the Right Arm and you find footsteps.

You start moving, deciding to stay close to Minho because he has the best light source.

"You were pretty good back there," you attempt to make some light-hearted conversation since you just risked your life with this kid.

"Yeah? You weren't so bad yourself." You chuckle, accepting his compliment. "I, uh, I never caught your name."

"What? Tommy-boy didn't tell you?" You raise an eyebrow and Minho shakes his head.

Even in the dark, it's easy to see how attractive the boy is. He's well built and effortlessly charming. And impressive from the stunts he pulled before.

You might just develop a crush on this kid.

"(Y/N)."

He hums in response. "I like it; (Y/N), really rolls off the tongue."

You roll your eyes, but hearing him say your name does make you feel a typa way.

The feeling is mutual, too. Bold and quick-thinking, but also caring and easy to talk to. Not to mention you're easily the most attractive girl Minho has seen (which isn't many but that's not the point.)

"Minho! Quit flirting with the new girl and give us a hand!" Newt shouts, making you try to repress a smirk.

"I wasn't flirting!" Even in the dim light, you can see Minho's reddened expression.

"Sure, you weren't!"

Confident and smooth, but easily flustered.

Good to know.

He turns to you. "I wasn't flirting."

You grin. "Uh-huh."

He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out and he ends up looking like a fish out of water.

You snort. "Yanno, you can flirt with me, if ya want to. I don't mind." You playfully wink at him, unsure if he can even see it before you jog off, catching up to your friend.

He watches as you throw an arm over Aris' shoulder before he puts an arm around your back.

Minho stands there, grinning like the Cheshire Cat before dropping his head and shaking it to himself.

"Okay, lover boy, c'mon," Thomas says, having watched the whole exchange, "you're with me."

"Shut up, shank," Minho playfully pushes his friend, "don't you wanna be with your girlfriend, anyway?"

"I should be asking you that." Minho rolls his eyes.

But he smirks.

Yeah, okay, maybe he likes you. After all, you can't really nearly die with a hot girl without catching feelings, can you?

Okay, so, not quite as good as some of my other pieces and there's barely any romance, but that tends to happen with my pieces that I have to pull the movie up for lol.

Maybe a part 2 is in order again? Well, you guys will have to let me know about that.

I hope you enjoyed :))

[the-suicidal-lizard]

you are young that's your fault | (Rise!TMNT & Mom!Reader - Rise!Splinter x Reader)

Summary: HC’s of you being a Mom to the turtles, and slight Splinter x Reader.

Version: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Warnings: No? Not that I can thing of.

I’ve never written for the turtles of any kind, so I’m sorry if I do this wrong.

You met Lou by accident, and you met him through a small, mutant box turtle. A real cutie pie. You hadn’t freaked, and instead took the small, scared baby into your arms and fed him, rubbing his shell. Lou had rushed over, having realised he lost his youngest and freaked out upon seeing you.

You didn’t care. In fact, you recognised his hair style, despite the fact he was changing into a rat. You happily helped him, buying food and baby products, clothing and anything else he needed. Lou - now going by Splinter - was thankful, grateful.

It was only when the eldest - Raphael - called you “Mamma”, did Lou ask you out on a date.

Congratulations! You just gained a boyfriend and four sons! You then later gained a daughter through April, and a grandson through Shelldon. And an enemy in Big Mama. And, Draxum had so many bruises from you hitting him (how dare he hurt your family?). And eventually, a nephew in a Casey Jr.

You lived a strange life, but not one that you would change. And, with each one, you treated each child differently, depending on the child.

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Raphael:

He’s the eldest, so he gets it into his head he needs to be the eldest and stop relying on his Mom and Dad.

“You’ll always be my baby.”

Cue Raphael instantly relaxing, smiling. “I know, Ma.”

Calls you “Ma”, as a way to keep his old name for you - “Mama”.

You recall that day with fondness.

He wants hugs so badly, but he’s terrified to hurt you. But you helped raise him since he was a baby, so you know how to navigate his spikes.

You make him extra large clothes, and clothes with holes in for his spikes.

When he was leader, you would pamper him and give him a massage, because he deserved it.

You hated Ghostbear... hated him. But, you would listen to your baby talk about Ghostbear.

You made and bought him so many teddy bears for him. You're the reason he loves them so much.

Mrs. Cuddles - any time she’s on screen, you switch the channel or distract him.

His fear of loneliness used to be worse when he was little, but you told him you’d always be there, watching him, and protecting him. I mean, it’s still not good... but better than it was.

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Leonardo:

He went to Splinter and Señor Hueso for advice. But, sometimes he needed his Mother.

Calls you “Mom”.

You would sit and watch Jupiter Jim movies with him, and would listen to him info dump about the movies.

He needed hugs and head pats. Poor baby was touch starved, but tried to act like he didn’t need it.

“Hey so... Mom, if you want, obviously you don’t have to. Just for laughs. You wanna scratch under my chin? Hahaha — ”

“Would you like chin scratches baby?”

“... Yes please.”

Any joke he says, no matter how terrible, you laugh. It’s worth it, seeing his face light up.

He doesn’t trust Draxum, and he never will, so he hides behind you since you do not hesitate to take off a slipper and throw it at Draxum.

Spanish lessons together.

As much as he pranks and annoys the others, he will instantly stop misbehaving if you give him a Look™. That Look™ means he’s in trouble!

Cue the brothers saying “oooooo”.

So, just because he goes to Señor Hueso and Splinter more than you, does not mean he doesn’t love his Mom.

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Donatello:

Needs attention. Needs physical touch. Needs affirmation. He’s the middle child, he needs attention!

You didn’t touch his shell unless he was okay with that, and you were the only one who could give him hugs and kisses - unless he specifically stated otherwise.

Sometimes would go nonverbal, so you learned Sign Language.

Calls you “Mama”, but in the same way he calls Splinter “Papa”.

“Oh Mama! Could you give me a screwdriver!”

You sometimes cover his ears if he doesn’t have his noise cancelling headphones. You’ll just stand there and keep them covered.

He dumps Shelldon on you.

(Jokes on him, you love Shelldon!)

He gets annoyed though, since Shelldon goes to you a lot when he doesn’t comply with what Shelldon wants.

Mama: Donnie? Why did my Grandbaby just come to me crying?

Donnie: He wants grapes! He can’t eat grapes! You know that!

Mama: Make a liquified grape flavour oil, or so help me God!

Sometimes he doesn’t want you to touch him. You’ve never done anything, it’s just sensory issues. So, you kiss the air around him, as if kissing his cheek. You caress the air around his cheek, never touching him, as if caressing his cheek.

The Purple Dragons are your worst enemy, and you hate them.

Sometimes, he just needs you around and he’s happy. That’s all. He loves you a lot.

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Michelangelo:

The baby of the family, and your youngest. Therefore, constantly all over you.

Clinging to you. Hugging you. Arms and legs wrapped around you and you hold him close.

Head pats. Shell scratches.

The wall on your side of your and Splinter’s bedroom is covered in drawings and art pieces Mikey gave to you.

You taught him how to cook, and Mikey grew to love him. Gives you dishes all the time to try.

Meat Sweats and you have beef. Any time you see him, you fight him... after you forced him to sign his chef book to give to Mikey.

You didn’t treat Mikey like a baby, you treated him like an adult, much to Mikey’s delight, but at times he wants his Mom to hug and baby him.

Calls you “Momma” and “Mom”.

Mikey dislikes that you don’t get along with Draxum, so when Mikey is around, you're more tolerable of Draxum. When Mikey looks away, you give Draxum a threatening gesture.

Helped you make a photo album on your phone of them as babies. Instantly regretted it because if you're ever kidnapped, the kidnapper now knows everything about the turtles as babies, and has seen the pictures.

“Momma… you didn’t show him the one — ”

“The one where you shoved crayons up your nose? I did! You were so cute!”

“NOOOOO—!”

Mikey finds that embarrassing - especially when you showed Meat Sweats. But, didn’t mind so much when Hypno and Warren returned you out of their own free will, apologising and suddenly, he gained two new (gay? Are they evil and gay? Cool!) uncles!

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Ultimately you love your boys and your little family.

[chihuahuawashere]

If Mikio was still alive I bet Taigen would try to kill him.

Like imagine if Mizu didn’t kill Mikio and really did just walk away from the ranch and left him behind with her dead mother and soldiers.

But Mikio was to scared to ever rat her out again so he’s still at the ranch with the greatest secret known to man.

The plot is still the same but after the whole London trip she goes back to Japan and reunites with Taigen who did just want a quiet life and be happy.

He lives by the shore with Ringo and they made their own noodle shop and people travel all around Japan to go to their shop because it’s /so/ good.

Mizu gets word of this and makes her way there all the way to the shore without being detected by anyone because they think that shes dead and by the time she gets there. The shop is fully packed with people and there’s a long line warped around the building

Mizu was surprised but also not surprised at the same time considering how good ringos noodles were. But she didn’t feel like wasting the rest of the day in a line so like a badass that she is, she walked right in getting people Who are waiting in a line for more then a day and rightfully got mad

But Mizu didn’t care about them all she cared about was seeing Taigen and Ringo again after disappearing to London. When she walked in it was much nicer then the noodle shop that Ringo used to work at with his dad. Everything was bigger and more spacious good for them.

But when she walked in she did make a noise complaint from all the people waiting in line and Taigen was ready to kick out whatever jackass thinking that they were better then the rest of them (trust me he knows that feeling all to well) so Taigen left his spot at the cash register to go punch whoever it was.

Only to drop his sword completely. He couldn’t believe his eyes at what he was seeing. Ringo told him that Mizu was gone. Dead in the fire, they couldn’t find the body but they thought that her bones must’ve melted or turned into ash in the big fire at the castle. In the beginning Taigen was in denial and searched weeks months just trying to find a body that’s similar to Mizus hoping to find her while the same time not at all. Couldn’t bear the thought of losing Mizu without having a proper duel or saying his true feelings.

He completely tackled Mizu to the ground hoping that it wasn’t just a ghost that he was seeing. He was a crying sobbing mess completely a wreck in a matter of seconds. Ringo rushed to the front of the shop wondering what in the hell is going on? What’s all the commotion? Only to see Mizu over Taigens shoulder and tackle the both of them as well- smashing them both onto the ground basically into human pancake. Ringo is also a sobbing mess even worse than Taigen.

But Taigen got out of the human pancake pile to announce to the whole shop that they are closing early too much of all of the customers and people waiting outside dismay. They were either shoved out of the shop or threatened saying that it is an important family matter that they need to attend to. Ringo was the only one being polite about it and apologizing and saying that they will get a refund if they come back tomorrow and also apologizing to all the people who are waiting in line for more than a day. 

Once everybody was out of the shop and away from the shop in general Ringo went back to the kitchen to cook up some fresh noodles for Mizu really quickly while Taigen was asking 1000,000 questions per millisecond asking all the questions that have been on his mind for so long. 

Ringo was also shouting questions from the kitchen also wanted to know how Mizu was still alive after all this time and where could he have gone. Mizu tried to answer the best I could without sounding like a complete nut job and a psychopath. But it’s already coming knowledge that Mizu is those two things. Mizu explain about going to London and killing the other two white people that were supposedly her father as well as going a little aventures washers in London and then meeting some really cool people.

But now he has back with you no more vengeance to venge and is ready for a quiet life. Ringo was more than happy to hear this news as he made his way out of the kitchen with three bowls of hot noodles handing one out to Taigen and Mizu and sat down with his. He was excited to go back to training of trying to be a samurai under the teachings of Mizu again.

Taigen saw this as an opportunity to try and court Mizu now. He didn’t care if Mizu was a man all he cared about was being happy and Mizu made him happy. Now that there wasn’t anything trying to killed them now, he had all the time on his hand to make this courting go absolutely right.

In the end they didn’t Open up the shop next day if anything they didn’t open up the shop until next week because they wanted to show Mizu The cute little village they’re in and all the stores and even their house that they shared with all the land that they have from making all there money off of the shop. They were pretty well off Mizu had to admit.

Ringo made Mizu move right in with them they had a room that was there guessed room but now it’s Mizus and she couldn’t complain it had a nice view of the ocean. After a week the shop opened up again and Mizu started working with them at the noodle shop working as a bodyguard basically keeping the peace in case someone tries to cause trouble. Surprisingly there wasn’t except the time she cut everybody else in line but it seems like everybody forgot about that incident.

It really was just peaceful living. And Mizu loved it but was also scared of it. Nice you really have a taste of what the peaceful life was like with Mikio and it sent chills down her spine. She didn’t want to ruin this one like she did with Mikio. So instead of being a lazy bodyguard Mizu tried to do more extra help around the shop.

But Mizu didn’t know how to do anything but cause pain and destruction wherever she turns.  just like I already told her she was like a monster. She would trip over herself or bump her elbow onto something or completely shattered a bowl or break the chopsticks either way there wasn’t a day that we can buy that some of the new that was Mizus fault.

And Mizu got more and more worried and anxious. She couldn’t lose this family as well. She couldn’t live with herself if she did. Ringo and Taigen saw the worry in her and decided to confront her when they were at home.

They basically locked up all the doors in the windows so Mizu couldn’t try to escape when confronting her but surprisingly Mizu didn’t try to run. Because Mizu has nothing to run away from now. She killed them.

So when Ringo and Taigen asked why she was so anxious and worried all the time how it wasn’t like her to be like that. She came out to Taigen that she was a girl.

Ringo was a true even after Mizus “death” he still kepted her true gender as a secret for all this. And was truly surprised that she told Taigen but was sooooooo happy to not have such a big secret on his shoulders anymore.

Taigen was /surprised/ to say the least. Actually that was an understatement. At the dinner table he had a whole sexual identity crisis going on in his head. He totally thought that he was okay with dating and marrying a boy only to find out it was a girl. Genuinely he was so confused but happy just knowing that Mizu was alive and that he was gonna marry her with way boy or girl Taigen was not gonna let her go.

Well Mizu explained about her from quaint and peaceful life on a horse ranch with her former husband and mom. And how she ruined that peaceful life by being “herself” (aka a monster). She even called her own mother saying “I gave you tea with gold leaves and you spat in it” Till this day Mizu blamed herself for ruining her chances with a happy and peaceful life. Her mother is dead and her husband… well she doesn’t know and she doesn’t want to find out.

Taigen is mad at this information and wants to kill Mikio because how in hell does he pass up Mizu?! Her powerful body is hot! And watching her kill people’s is sexy! And how dare Mikio betray her like that!

Taigen storms out of the house trying to clear his head. Damn he really wants to find this Mikio guy and kill him so bad! How dare he make Mizu hurt like this?! But then he stops pacing the stairs I was hands. How ironic keeping some self knowing that when he was younger he also did that exact same thing. Hurting Mizu and calling her a monster.

But it’s different this time! He doesn’t see her as a monster. He sees her as someone he can love someone he can fight for someone he can live for someone he can die for.

But in order to make Mizu see that he needs to show her exactly that. And just on que Mizu runs out of the house looking for Taigen only to see him right outside the porch. Mizu runs up to Taigen to try and cool his down telling him to not make any dumb decisions. But of course Taigen does exactly that. 

Taigen pulls Mizu into a kiss it was fast and sweet. He looks Mizu deep into her beautiful crisp blue eyes and told her that he’s gonna go look for Mikio kill him for hurting you come back with his head as proof and marry her and there’s no stopping him from doing that. All he asks is for Mizu to wait for him.

Mizu completely in shock just nods her head not really fully registering what just happened. Not until she sees Taigen go on a horse and rides away does it all fully click in her head that she now has to wait for her “husband” to come back.

How long does she have to wait? She doesn’t really know but she wishes she could come. She’ll love to see Mikio be killed. That was her husband after all. But she’s absolutely fine waiting for Taigen to come back to her.

Ringo on the other hand was watching this all go down threw the window and this is the most juiciest tea he got his hands on besides the old ladies that always sit in the corner of the shop gossiping about the village.

♥️ thanks for reading!!! 



[theywhoshantbenamed]

do you mind headcannon dumping everything you have onto me

idc if I’ve already heard it from you before, give me all your silly ideas about ships and characters and literally any aus you’ve come up with

California and Alaska bleed gold also they have nicknames for each other Big Bear and Little Bear after the Ursa Major and Minor constellations

New York is a pigeon fancier and has six pet rats

Original 13 + Rhode Island have large canines and claw-like nails

Not really a headcanon but I feel like I flip flop between New Jersey actually having horns and a tail or them just being accessories

Massachusetts has a prosthetic leg that he definitely has used to bonk his fellow states from time to time

Florida has serious shark teeth no one can take that from me

Alabama and Florida siblings btw. If you even care

TEXAS AND NEW MEXICO BEING COUSINS IS IMMENSELY FUNNY TO ME “hey New Mex isn’t that guy your cousin” “I don’t know him”

Georgia is the actual epitome of having fat ass and mental issues also his hypersomnia is special to me

Kentucky and Indiana as a duo are dangerous because they’re both incredibly sweet individuals with the best intentions. It’s prolly because of Ben’s portrayal but they’re the same font to me

Texas is closeted as hell but the closet is made of cling wrap. Could be making out with a guy and think “but I’m not gay I just like kissing this guy”

Btw New Jersey is ftm no one can take that from me

Actually speaking of which my California is intersex

Maryland is also ftm and uses she/her pronouns

Some rarepairs that I think are neat:

Satanic Temple/Gov - friends with benefits

Satanic Temple/IDC - “dam Gov that’s your ex!?”

Rhode Island/Hawaii - one of those ships where you throw darts at a wall and it just sticks

California/Kentucky -they should’ve gone on a date to hillbilly festival :(

Kentucky/Maine - i really really need to draw and write them more often 😭

Connecticut/Nevada - bougie ass couple fr

Georgia/Florida/Louisiana - floui is common but Georgia makes it rare. Georgia is the mellow to their chaos duo

Washington/New York - apple wars, what can I say /ref

New York/Rhode Island - does anyone else think this would be so funny?? 😐 someone get them away from each other

Alaska/Minnesota - bear for bear ship

California/Illinois/New York - this ship rocks actually

Therianthrope AU:

Ohio is a white tailed deer who loves to set fire to the ranger station Michigan is often in

He definitely does not do it for attention at all no sir

The Dakotas in this AU are coyotes who left their mothers pack but have a sort of close bond to Minnesota, who’s also a park ranger in this AU

The national park in this AU leans toward made up generic national park but is kinda sorta based off of Cuyahoga Valley NP

California is a ground squirrel in this one cause I think it’s funny

I think I drew Indiana as a cardinal and an otter at one point but these days I kinda feel weasel. Either way, mustelid

That’s about everything I could think of for now I’ll add more if I think of them

[ruthytwoshakes]

oh good evnening my homos,, my swagggalishis peepol, my lovely little guys . idk. I drew some gi. rrrrrls !!! Some fem fort!! Wahhooooo!!! Yippepeeee!! oh oh and big thank you to everybody who voted in the poll I set up! Once winter break hits I’ll be able to work on the projects full time, until then I’ll just be putting out little wips because school is more important :]

I’ve always wanted to make a gender swap au of some sort but I really had no good ideas until now,,. . They’re all clones of the red team that Engineer and Pauling worked on!! But like kinda. really crazy and blood-thirsty.

Pauling was requested to make a better Blu team because they sucked so bad,, ,so instead of hiring new people she got lazy and asked Engineer for help to mess with the respawn machine and create these new guys. They’re also like a fourth bigger than the original mercs. They’re very scary and violent and not r,eally good at being people yet. to be fair they were born like yesterday sorta. And I think I’d be a little evil too if I was born with the memories and mannerisms and scars of a life that I had not lived. ? ,,,,oh well sucks 2 suck. They hate the other team with a burning passion because they were programmed that way I guess. Idk I just came up with it tonight so it kidna isn’t all that coherent but we bal l . If I have the time I’ll draw them all beating up the boys or just like tormenting them. heheghjshh. pyro is a bear because the original pyro is a butch,, and spy is trans masc cus the original spy is trans fem. c ool

oh if anybody has any ideas for names I’d love to hear them! I’m shit ass at names so help is appreciated B))))) )

oh. welell hello thehrer,, here is more deisntns

these are for fun and would not actually work in the au,, teehhe. Man I don’t know what the fuck happened with saxton but he just looks the exact same. he’s growing out his hair. happened with saxton rhymes kindaa also Bidwell yay! Made her look more like Ma because I think she and scout are sisters booyahhh woah. Reddy with the butch realness hell yeah ,, love her. Mister Pauling wooooooow don’t have much 2 say. Twink Pauling little scary. Administrator though fucking killed me ,,I turned a bad bitch into an old man I’m losing my minddd. Kept the earrings cus they slayy cunty cunt cunt? Idk I don’t say that stuff

PYRO FACE JUMPSCARE !!! I know I committed sin and removed a masked character’s mask buut,idk fuck it I wanted to. Got some gnarly burn scares there and a rat tail cowaaabunga. Don’t know if you can tell but Blu has a half a beard.

JUMPSACREE JUMPSCARE I ADDED MY OCS MUHAHHA it’s gliderrrs yay. Red and Blu glider are two different. guys,, uhh they’re both twins!! Fraternal I think. Red is very flamboyant and extroverted and talks with her hands while Blu kinda stares at you,, you can’t really tell if she’s angry or not? Not happy with you that’s for sure. I can’t info dump about them on this post because I have to get back to work but one day in the near future. perhaps. perchance. mayhaps. what

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Things I noticed the nth time watching Nimona:

Knight armour can get sliced through like nobody's business (Balister's arm), but can take a laser hit without serious, body-altering consequences (Director hitting Ambrosius with a laser made from the same one that apparently has the power to wipe out half the realm, or kill an Immortal being who doesn't feel severe pain from an arrow wound)?

...is this because Ambrosius' armour was made to be more protective than Balister's?

"She manipulated BOTH of us." Ambrosius says this about Nimona, who he had very few interactions with aside from her very blatantly fucking shit up for the institute. How did she manipulate HIM?

I guess it probably makes sense when you consider he was going to arrest the director, implying that he believed Bal AND Nimona, but I dunno. The little rat in my head started running on its brain-powering wheel at all the possible fanfic plots this could lead to.

Nimona as Ambrosius grabbed the Gloreth statue when they fell to the ground.

On the one hand, this could just be actor!Nimona putting dramatic emphasis on how even in death, the leaders of the realm will cling to their hopes and beliefs, or the golden boy finally getting to join his ancestor.

On the other hand, we could make it deliciously angsty (yum yum) and say it is Nimona's personal desire to grab the statue of Gloreth for reasons such as: taking down the monster-killer image of her former friend out of anger and sadness because she never wanted that image to be so true in representing one of the few people who ever cared about her even briefly;

OR, While trying to think about how she would act if she were actually dying, she reaches for the closest thing to a friend that she has, but this is her staging a false death, as that particular friendship was false so this is just fitting, isn't it?;

OR, They wanted it to spread a message that with the fall of the director, would come the fall of the corrupt system they live in, as well as the fall of this narrow-minded view of both Nimona and Gloreth's story as well as Gloreth and Nimona themselves.

Nimona freaking out about the arrow in their leg in the comic vs Nimona treating it like a little scrape not to be worried about in the movie.

This is really interesting to me. In the comic, it's played up for humor like Nimona is almost overreacting, then having Bal take care of her because he does care about her. This shows it as a bit silly, but so very meaningful.

Then you have the movie where Balister is freaking out and it's kind of funny because clearly Nimona is relatively fine about it, so he doesn't really need to make a big deal out of it. Then he helps her and is still very careful about it like with anyone else's arrow wound, and asks her questions so he can better understand them. Again so very important.

I love both versions of these scenes, I just am so curious about why they made such a drastic change.

I love this movie so freaking much. (I knew that already, but it bears saying for the thousandth time. It's just so fucking good.)

For this last one:

TW: mention of police brutality (discussed as a theme in the movie, nothing specific outside of the Nimona movie)

"He's got a weapon." It's not a weapon. It's a phone. But Todd (and who knows how many of the other knights) didn't choose to see it as anything other than what the director told him it was, and destroyed it as he was trained to do. This screams messaging about the stupid, dangerous, and harmful actions of too many police officers who don't check the situation for themselves before acting on "information" they gathered from insufficient data and/or unreliable sources, and combine that with profiling to make decisions that so often end up being harmful and even fatal to others.

[daysofyellowroses]

DAAAARRRLINGGGG 👹 GUESS WHO JUST ESCAPED THE PSYCH WARDDDDD WITH A NEW JUICY FLUFFY IDEA FOR YOUR VOLUPTUOUS LIL NOGGINS 🧠🧠We be brain dumping but -

Imagine Carmy w a girl that they’ve been dating a little while, she’s a blankie girl. whenever they’re snuggling on the couch watching a movie, or cuddling up in bed (either at her place or his because she can not sleep without blankie) she has her childhood blankie with her in times of leisure because it’s presence brings comfort. So I imagine they’re snuggled up on the couch one day, watching some rerun of a show or movie he’s seen multiple times so he’s more focused on her of course - and he realizes that she’s sat there, picking at the knots in the tail of a fabric nub that’s been permanently sewn on to the end of the blanket, and he realizes that she’s always stroking that part of the blanket. Whether she’s picking at the lint-knots in the tail, brushing the strings against her cheek, pressing the little fabric nub in to her lips- that was the part of the blanket that she fidgeted with the most. So one day, he’s like ‘babe, y’want me to snip that ball of thread for you? I can see why it’d be bothersome.’ & she just looks up at him with slight shock and offense and holds it up being like

‘Absolutely not - how dare you call blankie bothersome. This?’ *cue her dangling the bundle of essentially fabric rags in front of him* ‘is thingie, and this-‘ *she dainty beholds the tiny bundle of strings with a rat tail* ‘he- is the original blankie, thingie is his friend. Just his friend. And thingie knows he’s only here cause of blankie, so respect blankie.’

And he’d just think it was the sweetest most innocent adorable thing that his sassy, big mouth girl is so attatched and in need of her ‘blankie’ every night, stroking a little nub of strings against her face.

I’m a bear baby, like I have a bear from birth and Mr.bear is in perfect shape, his colors are just faded. but I find it HILARIOUS and adorable on tik tok when girls will pull out like 6 strings and a ball of dirty hair lookin stuff and be like “this is thing 🥹💖 my baby blanket” bc it’s like sooo funny and cute how a human can be so attatched to a bundle of thread but at the same time so sweet & I think Carm would see it that way too lolll

oh god if this is not the cutest thing ever i don't want to know what is 🫢😭🥹 absolutely obsessed with this idea, it's perfection 👌🏻 and i love that you still have a bear from birth that is so adorable 😍 i love you and your incredible mind so much i need to sit down for a minute 💗🫶🏻🌼

[lurlur]

Rating the NHL mascots - Part 2

Part 1 is here

Minnesota Wild

Nordy

What are you, Nordy? Officially, Nordy is a "wild animal" which is just SUPER helpful, Minnesota. Thanks. He's got a sweet face, though. I like the extra colouring that keeps him from being boring. I feel like he'd benefit from some sharp teeth though. Give the boy some ferocity. Assuming he's the kind of wild animal that can be ferocious? WHO FUCKIN' KNOWS???

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 6/10. Could be better, but the inability to commit hurts Nordy's potential.

Buffalo Sabres

Sabretooth

I may not have much in this world, but one of the things that I do have is a degree in palaeontology. This goofy looking motherfucker is not an accurate sabretooth cat and I have decided to take that personally. This is a cartoon tiger with dental issues. This is Tony the Tiger's inbred cousin. He's not OK. At least he looks relatively kind, if a little concerned.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetics: 1/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 2/10. Is it too much to ask for to have palaeontologically accurate mascots in 2023?

Nashville Predators

Gnash

Is this a joke? Am I a joke to you? ANOTHER sabre tooth cat? Jesus fucking christ. OK, this one isn't AS bad. It's not good, but it's not as bad as the last entry. Actual sabre teeth, a sculpted cat head, team colours can be forgiven for mascot purposes. The lower jaw is all wrong and the stripes are conjecture at best, but the overall effect doesn't fill me with the same blind rage as Buffalo's cat. Gnash is getting by on a loaded comparison. His name is pretty cool though.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Literally skating through because Sabretooth is SO bad and SO fresh in my memory. Take the wins where you can, Gnash.

Florida Panthers

Stanley C. Panther

Florida somehow has two mascots? I'm going with Stanley, but please do be aware of, I assume, Matthew Tkachuk's best friend: Victor E. Rat.

Stanley, here, is a panther. Of course. And he's fine. Just fine. Another big cat, underwhelming design, pretty minimal costuming. He's got a reasonably characterful face. I feel like a good performer could make him work, but in still images he's lacklustre. Sorry, Stanley.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 3/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Middling score for a middling mascot. Maybe I should have gone with Victor...

New York Islanders

Sparky the Dragon

Got myself tied in knots about this one because the Isles have made some attempts to move on from Sparky, it seems. There's an absolutely horrifying fisherman named Nyisles that I won't ever unsee. The NHL website says Sparky, though, so Sparky it is! He's a dragon! Look at his lil wings! Good teeth, bright colours, horns for holding. What's not to love? Literally nothing. Except the fact that he's mascot for the Isles... but that's not what we're doing here.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 8/10. He's a dragon! I love me a dragon! I don't care!

St Louis Blues

Louie

Louie, OK. Blue, OK. Wipe clean mouth? OK, I guess. Why a bear, though? And why such a pale blue? This thing must be a nightmare to keep clean. Good ear shape, kind face, not quite hitting the bear perfection that is Carlton but a decent effort. The muzzle really is throwing me as a weird design choice. Like, OK, it does make the face more visually interesting but it also just looks like Louie has a skin problem. Does he have mange? We simply don't know.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 7/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 5/10

Overall, 5.5/10. Mostly because I'm concerned about his health. I don't want to catch mange.

Detroit Red Wings

Al the Octopus

Oh yeah, now we're talking. I actively hate this for a million reasons but it's so fucking insane that I also kind of love it! I do wish that Detroit fans would stop throwing octopuses onto the ice because that is no fate for a poor cephalopod. But look! It's a giant tentale monster! He looks MEAN! That's not just a guy in a bad fur suit! it's interesting and that's worth big points. I fully believe that Al would beat the shit out of me for no reason.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 9/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 9.5/10. Horrible, never stop.

Philidelphia Flyers

Gritty

Now, this is podracing! Gritty is how you do weird, undefined monster mascots properly. Gritty emerged following construction work at the Philidephia arena and is best described as a force for chaos. The eyes are wild, the energy is all over the place, the flow is spectacular, and the best part of Gritty's launch was the speed with which Philidelphia went from rejecting their new freak to declaring Gritty the new godking. Oh, you think Gritty is an ugly monster? Fuck you, we love them. Gritty is also undeniably a queer ally/icon/community leader? Hard to say exactly, but it's there. Immaculate vibes. Shame we can't say the same about everyone on the team...

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 10/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 10/10. Gritty, hit me up. I have a short list of Flyers I need you to eat. Thanks, babe.

Ottawa Senators

Spartacat

Someone please get this lion a good haircare routine? Dear god, Spartacat. You leave the house looking like this? There's something almost endearing about how wet and pathetic this lion looks. He's just giving nothing. I want to nominate him for Queer Eye.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 4/10. Honestly, it's a pity fuck as well. Someone please help this lion.

Montreal Canadiens

Youppi!

What IS it? A man? Why is it so hairy? It might be a giant (lol) but that doesn't explain much at all. I HATE this. I think that's a fully body beard. You could shave that and maybe find just a normal man underneath. It's SO orange which just looks jarring with the Montreal colours. Bad. I would turn around and walk the other direction if I saw this on the street.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetic: 1/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, a generous 3/10. Please never make me look at Youppi! again.

Vancouver Canucks

Fin the Whale

They anthropomorphised a whale. That feels like it should be a crime. Certainly the way they've gone about it is. Fin loses points for having his dorsal fin on the back of his head and not, y'know, his actual back. He also appears to have no tail which is a real shame. Tails are a great design choice in almost every situation. I do like the sharp teeth and red tongue, though. Very suggestive. This feels like a missed opportunity. Fin could have been a lot better but they took the easy path instead of the interesting one. Boo you, Canucks design team.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 5.5/10. I really wanted to like this more. I'm going to think about Ethan Bear for a minute to cheer myself up.

San Jose Skarks

S J Sharkie

No points for originality on the name, but for literally everything I just said about Fin? Sharkie gets it right. His dorsal fin is in the right place, he has shark elements beyond his head with those little elbow fins. Clear evidence that it's possible to make a weird sea creature/man hybrid without being boring AF. The head is a weird shape, but I'm feeling too much goodwill towards Sharkie right now to really mind. Nice teeth, too. I would have loved to have seen rows of teeth, maybe with some missing for a real hockey feel.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 6/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7.5/10. A good score for a very smooth boy. Smooth in every direction.

Arizona Coyotes

Howler the Coyote

Hims feets too big for hims gotdamn shoes! I haven't ever actually seen a coyote before, so I had to go looking for a comparison. Conclusion? Why is his face so wide? I do like the very pointy nose, though. We've seen too many soft faced predators, this boy has a SNOUT. Got some lil teefies too, I like that. And a tail. I keep coming back to the feet busting out of the shoes though, like some teen wolf knock off. I kinda love it.

Vibes: 9/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10. Very good showing for a pointy faced doggo who needs new shoes.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Stinger

Help. Serously, please help me. Look at this thing. It's a bug, meant to be a play on blue jackets/yellow jackets. But I don't know what a yellow jacket is so any cleverness is kind of lost on me. This is HORRIBLE. They really went all in on making this unpleasant and I can applaud that, even as I hate it viscerally. And I do. The eyes, the butt, the rictus grin, the colour... It is offensive to mine eyeballs. I love it. One note, they should have given it another set of limbs.

Vibes: 1/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, 5/10. Awful. I can't look away.

Honourable mention to Boomer, the other Blue Jackets mascot who is just an anthropomorphic cannon. Great moustache. I wonder if Johnny Gaudreau is afraid of it.

Anaheim Ducks

Wild Wing

I do not believe that Wild Wing's designer had ever seen a duck. I'm not sure that the person who described duck to the designer or Wild Wing had ever seen a duck either. I think the description of a duck may have passed through as many as 15 people who had never seen a duck before reaching Wild Wing's designer. Oh Holly, you're so harsh. It's a duck in a hockey mask. OK, so they hadn't seen a modern hockey mask either. I like the mean expression, somehow through a mask, the Donald Duck-esque nudity, and the feet design. Almost a horse-sized duck.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 6/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 5.5/10. You're no good, duck. You'll never be shit. You're just like your father.

Chicago Bad Team

Tommy Hawk

That's a turkey.

Vibes: 0/10

Aesthetics: 0/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 0/10

0/10. Boo.

[mesopelagos]

First I would like to say I have never asked a question. In my life. Second I like to say that your au is a very cool and interesting idea, and I cannot wait to see where it goes.

For your Pants AU (is it called that?) Where is Splinter? Did something happen to my ratty boy?

Love, me

Thank you for the ask! Kudos for having the courage to send it :)!!

It's called the Pants AU mostly as a joke lol. I had a joke title for one of my fics that I didn't keep so for the sake of my dearest @spectra-bear I kept This joke title. Pants AU because they wear pants.

I did talk about Splinter's place in another ask (if you look through the "#Pants AU" tag on my blog you can find it in there) but I can get into what happened to him a little more here >:)

He was taken from the Nexus and mutated all the same, the only really different part is that he didn't manage to save the turtles before he ran off from the collapsing laboratory. Since he didn't have the turtles to take care of, he just kind of wandered around on the streets being sad about the fact that he was a rat now for a few weeks. between the fact that he was kidnapped in the first place, and the mutation thing, and the guilt from failing to save the turtles (he oscillates between thinking they're dead and thinking they're being raised to be murder machines-- both are terrible options), he eventually runs back to Big Mama with his (now literal) tail between his legs

She does take him back at first-- she cares about him in her own........very very strange way-- and tries putting him back into the Nexus. while he wasn't refusing to fight anymore, he had absolutely zero drive or spark. not nearly interesting enough. a shell of the champion he used to be. so she kicks him out and he becomes a sort of drifter through NYC's underbelly. never really settles and makes frequent trips between the Hidden City and the human world

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

fucking love the new chapter, so much good yummy dialogue and well done exposition.

also the zenin being fine with what they thought was happening to megumi??!!! like obviously we know gojo would never even think about it but the fact that they were willing to just let it happen so that they didn’t have to deal with what toji did??!!! do megumi or tsumiki know?? do nanami or shoko know?

my honest guess is that the reason why they would be so okay with that they thought was happening is because they genuinely don’t think it’s a big deal cuz shit like that happens in the compound itself. or they’re just disgusting rats who should have their children taken away from them.

*****TW for discussions of rape, non-con, and CSA*****

Nanami and Shoko know.

Tsumiki and Megumi don’t. They were both really little when this was all going down, and no one wanted to be like “hey GUESS what the people who are actively trying to get full custody of your brother thought Gojo was doing to him all this time and were super fine with it.” After, they tried to bury the hatch and play nice to make the custody agreement work as best they could, and after the custody agreement went to shit, Megumi was already so hurt by the Zenin that no one saw any point about making him feel worse about them. It wouldn’t have surprised him to learn that’s what they thought, though, nor would it surprise him to learn that they didn’t care. He fundamentally views himself as disposable to the Zenin, and this fits that worldview.

Nanami and Shoko know because they were part of the negotiations when this went down. They were operating as a team.

In my mind, when Tsumiki and Megumi were first adopted, before the Zenin realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, they really were the closest they had been since Riko died. They all came together for the kids. They were starting to be happy again. They weren’t fighting so much and they had actual hope for the future.

Then the Zenin found out Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and things went to shit.

To me, the catalyst for everything going south was actually when they took off with Megumi and Tsumiki. The Zenin weren’t budging on anything less than full custody with no contact from Gojo. They were willing to go to war about it, even if they were guaranteed to lose. Their pride was freshly wounded, and the fact that this was the third time (to them) that the Gojo had taken the Ten Shadows from them was too much to bear. The higher ups were just content to let clan infighting play out, especially since I think it’s canon that they’re mostly Kamo. They were going to let the entire drama play out and see if they could leverage the Zenin and Gojo attacking each other into more power for themselves, and then Gojo fucking took off with the Ten Shadows and Shoko. Like, Nanami was there too, but he was really the one who had the unique skillset to offer. They didn’t care about losing him the way that they cared about losing the others. His skill set wasn’t irreplaceable the same way the others were.

At the end of the day, power is capital in this world, and Gojo’s got more power than anyone. Megumi, supposedly, will be in the same boat as him one day. Shoko is the only healer they have.

The higher ups wanted Gojo to burn bridges with his custody battle. They wanted him to use up his goodwill and influence and leave him vulnerable to them swooping in when he had weakened his own position to take advantage. What they did not want was for him to up and leave with other irreplaceable members of their society.

Gojo and the others leaving made them take very constructive efforts to isolate each of them and break them. Gojo was overworked, frustrated, and never given a break or anyone to share his load. Shoko was supplied with harder drugs and pushed to take them. Nanami was left alone on campus more often than not, constantly reminded of his own losses and ineptitudes, always made to feel helpless to change what was going on around him. It tore them apart, eventually, and the higher ups spent months to accomplish exactly that. It took a long time to rebuild.

But when negotiations with the Zenin were happening, they hadn’t been shattered yet. They were a team. And they handled that moment as a team.

Honestly, when they found out that’s what they thought gojo had taken custody for, it really was a big “what are we even doing this for moment.” They almost pulled the plug then and there. And when they’re torturing themselves over how they hadn’t didn’t, this is one of the big moments they come back to. Like, Naobito offered to Gojo’s face to just find someone who looked like Megumi to replace him like they were exchanging a fucking T-shirt at the mall.

Gojo already was completely enchanted with Megumi and Tsumiki at this point. They all were. Those were their little village babies and they loved them so, so much. It was an absolute slap in the face to insinuate Gojo only was taking care of them because he was a pedophile going after megumi, and it sort of tormented them to think that he could have been and the zenin would have been fine with it.

See, I think the narrative totally has the space to interpret that as it being an issue on the zenin compound. Inbreeding is already a thing there, and there’s one panel in the manga that arguably implies that Naoya assaulted Mai. However, I personally included the detail because 1) I thought it was the sort of propaganda that the Zenin would spread about Gojo, and 2) it really emphasised that they Zenin genuinely do not love Megumi outside of his technique.

Like. Gojo’s the favoured son of their biggest rival. He just waltzed in and took one of their kids, in a society where kids are considered property. They wanted to slander him as much as possible, and “you know why he really wants him” is low hanging fruit. It sort of blew up in their faces when Megumi went from their least to most important member on the turn of a dime, and all of their members started freaking out, but the clan elders pivoted that hard into “he obviously took him because he was stealing our ten shadows again” and that became the narrative.

The second reason is that it leaves no doubt that they don’t actually love Megumi.

There’s no actual familial bond that makes them want him. If that existed even a little bit, they would have tried to help him before they found out his technique when they thought he desperately needed it. They didn’t. They laughed about it. He was their blood and they thought he was vulnerable and hurt, and they did not care. This is not about love or family bonds. They only want him because of his technique.

I do think that the zenin do still genuinely believe that Gojo will or has sexually abused Megumi, but I don’t think they think of it in terms of sexual abuse. This is because they think Gojo will do to him what they’d probably one day do to Megumi if they had him.

Techniques are passed through blood. Power is passed through blood. That means megumi is someone who they likely want to have kids, who would then be raised to be clan leaders. There’s value in making sure he has kids, and I just don’t see them taking “actually no, I hate you and don’t want to have kids with my literal cousins” as an answer. And I don’t think the Zenin would think of it as sexual abuse or rape if they took matters into their own hands. It’s about procreation. The mechanics are a means to an end.

I think the Zenin expect the Gojo to have Megumi procreate with members of their clan in hopes of one day stealing the ten shadows from their bloodline. I also think they have active plans to kill any kids Megumi had with Gojo’s bloodline, if they weren’t able to steal them back.

At the same time, I think that if Megumi did ever get taken back by the zenin clan, they’d eventually do something themselves to ensure his bloodline continues. Like, I want to be enormously clear that that did not happen in the recent five day span that they had Megumi. But I do think they’d cross that line eventually. Because even apart from procreation, it’d be a reason to force Megumi to stay.

Like. Most of the clan is deluded about him. Not all of them are. They want him to stay and lead the clan, mind, but they don’t think he’s going to suddenly wake up and love them when they spend most of their time beating him. They have the kid who’s supposed to one day be one of the most powerful beings in the world, and they kicked the shit out of him. He openly hates them. They need something to keep Megumi in line when he’s too powerful for them to keep down, and kids would do that.

He can’t leave the clan. He’d be leaving the kids behind. Even if he took them with him, what if they don’t want to go? What if they don’t want to leave their mother? What if they don’t want to leave the only life they’d ever known? How could he even provide for one or more children without the Zenin when he’s presumably been locked up on the compound for years and has no resources apart from them?

The only way they have ever gotten him to cooperate is by holding Tsumiki over his head. They know they can put him on a leash if they get people he loves, but they don’t want him to have Tsumiki. And if they don’t have a more acceptable alternative, they can make one.

Him having kids in the clan may keep him from running. It may keep him from turning around and killing all of them. It would boost clan morale, because the ten shadows blood was continuing through the Zenin. I don’t see this as the line they aren’t willing to cross. And I don’t see them losing sleep over it either.

[bloogers-boogers]

So I've been getting into the sp fandom lately and let me tell u it's a must for me to do a one-shot.. It's gonna be a good attempt

One-shot SP

/CURSE/

(Kinda shipping? (Kyle/Cartman) Kinda trying to replicate the imagination land scene where Kyle dies an other various scenes, Cartman(important for the plot),Cartman and Kenny lore,some Stan against, and death of a main character. Kenny plays a role, also y'know death and resurrection that's he's thing.. right?)

It a pretty damn long One-shot.

It's been a common day in the little mountain town of Colorado called south park, Randy had arranged a parade/party at one of the most popular places in town 'DikinBaus' because of some festive weed special (trying to make it seem out of the ordinary weed when it comes to the same shit with a diffrent label) that Stan Marsh and his three other friends would care less about, well, atleast one. Eric Cartman.

Yes, the little evil master mind of south park.

Bitch was angry and quite bitter about the fact that his old home was no longer his, after being part of creating it's popularity. Though he did deserve it and his jewish friend made it know.

"I don't know why you're so pissed off, Cartman, you we're asking for it when you took advantage of Butters hard work," The latter roll his eyes.

"Whatever, it's Butters," He stated, as if it were obvious.

"Dude, just be grateful you got your old house back," Stan tune in, his tone was a little bit frustrated then it should've, luckily his fat friend payed not much attention to it. He wished he could move back, be close to his friends, have his old life back. But his father was farther than an idiot to just let go of his marijuana dream.

"How am I gonna be grateful about losing my DikinBaus!?," He exclaimed angry. Kenny, their blonde friend snorted, "shut up Kinny!."

"C'mon man, it's not a big deal," He patted the bigger boy's shoulder in hopes he'll just moved on from the subject. But ofcourse, he didn't.

"No! I can't leave it like this with out a fight!, I work hard for that shitty place to reopen, it's not fair!," He clenched he's fist, glaring at the nothing.

Both three boys just looked at each other, in a mutual agreement of not getting involved.

Later that day, Stan was forced to partake in the event host by his father, ofcourse not before arguing and complaining about it being just another waste of the income they made, for then later on his father to complain about how they had no money for more resources. Repeat all the time. Stan just hold the bridge of his nose outta frustration.

No boy his age should be this stress out for his parents doings, in this scenario, his dad.

"Hey Stan, check this out!," Exclaimed excited, Randy. The boy followed him, as he has no other choice but to listen.

"What the fuck is that," Stan questioned a little horrified, confused? He couldn't tell, cause he actually gave two shits. But this looked outta the ordinary of the ordinary. If that even makes sense.

There was a seagull looking mutation with what it seems like a rats feet. For a second there he was worried his father accidentally caught man bear pig's kid.

"It's the Tergrity farms mascot!," He exclaimed even more excited taking out a board outta nowhere, explaining his new strategy.

Oh. So that's that.

"Yeah, bye," said lastly, in a flat tone, no longer caring about the rest before returning outside.

Stan was not gonna get involved, no matter how bizarre and crazy his dad's Karen episodes get, he told himself for the millionth time that same day. He was NOT getting involved.

[...]

"For fuck sake dad! What did you do!?," He shouted confused by the change of event, being tied in a chair was far from the plans he had for this evening.

"Uh.. well, let's say it a TEGRITY strategy," Randy smiled commercially, clearly seems nervous. Clearly fucked up. The latter frowned from that response.

Stan sighed, "okay. What did you do," he asked again, finally had calm himself and processed the situation he's in. No pizza night at Tolkien's tonight he said to himself.

"Well, remember my mascot?,"

He nodded, ofcourse he did, it all happened today.

"Well turns out he's like, related to chutulu."

Stan wanted to grip his nose outta frustration again, so bad, after hearing that, "what?," he asked again. As he couldn't believe that thing was related to.. unfuckin' believable. Actually it was definitely believable.

"Yeah, I don't know how'd it happened but he found out and wanted to massacre me and my farm, can you believe that! I even offered some of my weed," said exhausted while having a pout face as a child being scolded.

"Okay, so how the hell did we end up being tied up?."

"Stan, there's a bunch of cult members in south park," he stated obviously while he rolled his eyes by being questioned this much. But he still bother to answer, "those motherfuckers knew chutulu wanted us so they found us, knocked us and tied us up, as their way of worship. We're pretty much a sacrifice."

"But why me!?," he stated bitterly as he was NOT trying to get involved today.

"Because you are, Stan! I told you about my strategy did I!?."

"I left!?."

They bicker a bit more before Stan decided to speak out for a solution.

"Look, I think, I have a plan. You know Cartman?."

"Your fat friend? What about him?."

"Well, he manipulated chutulu to join he's superheroe team awhile ago. Thing is, if we get Cartman, maybe he can help us."

"Isn't he like, a dick?."

"It's complicated. Let's just find a way outta of these ropes."

"Easy." Randy picked out of his pocket shirt with his mouth some weed and light it up with his feet and a lighter he had in his pants. And burned the ropes. He then untied him.

"You could've done that all this time!?," exclaimed baffled by his father's stupidity once again.

"No time Stan!," he said while he ran into the depths of the woods with the boy following behind.

Yes, they were in the woods. Let's move on.

[...]

Kenny found himself running like a mad man, he did not mean to provoke the dark lord, but he did. He just wanted answers about his curse! Was that too much to ask?

But here he was, regretting kicking one of those big claws of him after being bluntly ignored by chutulu, it seems it was looking for something. He assumed it was Cartman as he couldn't link the others with it. That fat fuck. What did he do!?

He couldn't bare die today as he was not aware how far chutulu would detroy the town by tomorrow. He needs to know why it's here, and ofcourse, his curse! Cause it seemed no one cares besides himself! Fuck!

He dodge one of chutulu lasers that ended destroying a car near by.

He hid in one of the markets from town, as if that's gonna make a difference. Then he saw him. That fat fucker! He was with Kyle and Butters in the meat section. Both seemed to be arguing about something while the blonde hold a riffle nervously watching the two, he'd care less right now about whatever those two were arguing about.

"You son of a bitch!," He slammed cartman into one of the freezer, Cartman looked at him with opened feared eyes, "what did you do!?."

"K-kinny..!?."

"Woah, dude, calm down," said, Kyle, "what's going on?."

" 'What's going on?'," he responded incredulous, "chutulu's out there destroying the town and killing countless souls! That's what going on!."

"Oh," Butters said not being so stoked about it.

"Yeah, we kinda know that, asshole," the brunette said casually loosing his grip.

"Eric thinks that chutulu may be here because of a mission," Butters explained.

"Oh really," the blonde said sarcastically eyeing him, "Cartman why the fuck did you summon chutulu here!? Do you know all the damage you've done."

"Excuse me? I didn't do shit, kinny!," Cartman exclaimed offended, by being accused so surely.

Yeah, he has committed various, and I mean, VARIOUS crimes, but he did NOT do this. Though he must admit to himself that this turn of events could be convenient for him to destroy DikinBaus. As no one in this stupid town does not deserve such a wonderful magnificent place. That HE made. And as such rightly deserves it and rightly could destroy it if he wanted to, right?

"Like I'm gonna believe whatever shit comes from your mouth, fatso," Kenny stated.

"It's true." Kyle spoke up, "what Cartman said.. look, I've been following this asshole since he said he was gonna try to do something about that dumb hotdog place, so, I followed him around-"

"Like and stalker," bluntly added Cartman.

"And-" Kyle continued, ignoring cartman's comment before frowning, "the only thing he's done is shit on Butter's porch and purchasing 200 hotdogs in hopes DikinBaus will run out and shut down. Which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed–"

"Oh c'mon, Kyel it was brilliant!," Cartman defended his stupidity, "it's easy an effective! I buy all the hotdogs, open my own stand and start a business," finalizing while crossing his arms. Kyle look at him angrily.

Nobody will question where he got the money to pay for all those hotdogs. Most likely in a fraudulent way. Whatever it doesn't matter.

"You ate all the hot dogs, fatass!!."

Cartman frown finding a better comeback, "well..! Atleast I have hot dogs!."

"What?," Kyle responded simply with one eyebrow upward.

"Tsch, whatever. I have a new better plan that I won't be sharing to either of you assholes."

Kenny, snapped. He had enough of this bullshit.

"Guys! Chutulu!?."

"Oh yeah, yeah," Cartman had his arms up. A freaked Kenny is a scary Kenny, "uh, what about him?," he added.

"Really?," he asked again incredulously, not waiting for an answer he continued, "something or someone must have summon the dark lord. We need to find a solution to get him out."

"Dude, that's chutulu. Even if we wanted to do something what can we do about it?," Kyle added skeptical.

"Yeah, it's not like this shitty town deserves to be saved anyways," Butters stated, still a little bitter about having to spend community service cleaning the mess the towns people made just cause he was seen as a sex offender for pinching a girl who he thought had no green on San Patrick's day!

"Well. Cartman?," Kenny asked staring deeply into Cartman's eyes. For some odd reason he felt a connection with the boy. As if his eyes had a glint of something.. he just couldn't recall what it was.

"How would I know?," Cartman asked confused, and kinda annoyed that he hasn't even started his plan B because of an overdramatic Kenny.

"You manipulated chutulu you fat fuck! Do it again," He exclaimed frustrated of the whole thing now looking at the other boys. He's finding all of these unnecessary scenarios being unfold overwhelming. Nobody seems to care, nobody seems to care about chutulu destroying south park, maybe he doesn't care!?

He sigh. Maybe he really doesn't. Maybe all this is an excuse to find out about his curse shield with the idea of being heroic. Screw that. He cared! This town may be fucked up but it was his home! Our home! They must care!

"Okay, I got a plan," Kenny stated finally after a brief silence.

[...]

Cartman found himself frowning angrily standing in the middle of the street, in a kitty costume. He would've rather just picked his coon costume but Kenny stated it'd be more effective and he was definitely trying to mess with him once again, cause he found it hilarious.

Stupid kinny.

The other three boys were hiding behind a dunked car near by him. Not like it'd make a difference. Always put Cartman in the more risky messy situations! Ofcourse he was convinced with a reward if things goes well, not because he's scared of Kenny and he was being a pussy! It was the reward he was promised of!

He heard Kenny snicker a bit, stupid kinny. He finds this amusing didn't he!? Asshole.

He then was faced with the giant dark lord with each step the ground rumble and the buildings breaking and weakening by him.

He gulped. He's done this before, he can do it again. Why is he nervous this time?

Both pair of eyes met. Time for action.

"Miaw Miaw! If it isn't one of my best pals! Miaw miaw!," he then climbed in one of chutulu's feet to his head. My gawd he deserves a reward for this acting. He then pursued on scratching the lord's head as he enjoyed the sensation of the fake claws on his skull, "who's my precious chutulu?," he then added a purr distracting the giant.

The three boys started preparing the trap they had made while upon seeing cartman's manipulation was once again, working. That fucking fatass.

Kyle was trying to knot the rope to one of the polls light but end up falling backwards in the sight of chutulu, who immediately put it's attention on the redhead. Great, just fucking wonderful.

Chutulu immediately turned his attention to Kyle and growled once knowing damn well this was set up.

"Dammit jew!," Cartman shouted making it more obvious that this in fact was, indeed a setup.

'Twack!'

Chutulu looked behind him as he had felt a tiny rock hit his tail.

"Stan?," Kyle said confused. Once Stan and his dad we're visible with some hunting gear on and some guns in there hands.

This was not going as plan. And once again Kenny sigh frustrated. He wasn't sure if the new pair of characters were a good thing or not. He's gonna let it slide this time.

Randy slowly approached chutulu leaving behind Stan, who just cautiously watched.

He then took out a weird mutant goose rat thing from behind his right arm.

Chutulu raised a brow. If that's even possible, but it was. Ofcourse it was.

Chutulu looked down as the mutant thingy went to his side rubbing himself against it's feet. It was heartwarming if it weren't for the situation they were put for and who it was. Then Chutulu did the imaginable, he squashed it.

Stan and Randy looked stoked.

"Well that does it," said Randy.

Both Marshes mouth agape, still looking at chutulu and now dead corpse.

And in splits seconds Kenny put himself in front of the two, standing in front of chutulu embracing his blonde hair exposing his face, he had taken his parka off. Glaring at the monster above. He have had enough.

"What am I?," he asked once more, "answer me now!."

"What's with this one?," Randy side eyed Stan, as he shrugged in response. Confused also.

Chutulu ignored him and approached Randy. Which jolted a bit nervous as he did not figure out what he did to anger the creature. If it wasn't his mascot than what?

He lowered his face to the man and quickly head bunked him to the side, hitting his body through a store window breaking into pieces.

"Dad!!," Exclaimed Stan, rushing in hurry to his father's aid. Noneless a idiot but still his idiot.

"Ow! I'm okay Stan.." the injured man reassured.

In a blink of an eyes the military had showed up and started attacking chutulu, bullets in and out angering the creature, he had put himself on it's feet again trying to block the bullets and attacking the attakers, Cartman still on the dark lord's head completely taken off guard as he was distracted with the dialog was then shot in the back 'ow!' falling off chutulu's head straight to the ground. He had broked his limbs and neck during impact. This anger chutulu even more, as for him kitty Cartman was like a pet.

Kyle and his other two friends had witnessed it. As he shouted, "¡Cartman!," he ran towards him caring less of the chaos around him.

"Fuck, he killed Cartman!," Kenny exclaimed as he approached the now what appears dead boy.

'There's no way'.

"Holy fuck!," said Stan from a far, he was still on his father's side but had witnessed it aswell.

Kyle was next to him analyzing the boy's wounds as he couldn't believe it.

"He's dead.." says Butters while having his mouth slightly agape standing next to Kenny watching the now corpse.

"You bastard.." whispered Kenny, he was staring at his so called best friend, lifeless eyes. It was definitely an odd sight.

"He can't be dead.." Kyle reassured griping into the boy's costume, "he just can't," he frowned.

Stan had already approached the scene as his father seem to had been well standing up not as injured.. or in this scenario dead.

He was also as stoked as the two other boys that were just standing there watching there fat friend laying there. Kyle was the only one on the ground gripping on to Cartman as if he didn't want to let go.

Kyle stared at him for a bit longer than he expected, his body had lost color, his half lidded lifeless eyes staring at him and his hands were cold.. this can't be happening. Cartman can't die. That's not possible!

Kyle with both his fist hit his friend's chest as hard as possible, anger. So much anger!

"Cartman! Can't! Die!," hitting him more times with no intention, it just felt right.

"Woah, dude," Stan put a hand on his best friend's shoulder trying to calm him down he's never seen his friend act this way. And to be honest he never expected to see Cartman this way either. Lifeless.

Kyle smacked Stan's hand off him still in disbelief.

"¡Cartman! Cartman!," he shouted almost in a cry, desperation in his voice," you fat fuck! Wake up!," he again hit as many times as he could, in the dead one's chest.

"Dude, Kyle.. he's gone," Stan said in the most pity voice. As if he could feel what Kyle felt.

"No he's bullshittin' he's fucking bullshitting, Stan!," He said almost as he's trying to believe it himself, he felt himself shake, his eyes felt watery.

A big thump caught their attention leaving the other boy kneeled to the other not leaving his side. He could now care less about that fucking dark lord and this stupid chaotic town!

"You fat fuck...!" he whispered more to himself as he closed his eyes and clenched his fist.

He may hate Cartman, and may have countless times told him that's he's better off being dead. But he really didn't mean it. If Randy can be alive, if Garrison can be alive, if man bear pig can be alive.. then why can't him? It's only fair. Two of those people he mentioned are assholes in there own fucked up way, but have done countless crimes and gotten away of being a dick atleast man bear pig is a wild satanic creature it makes sense if he kills thousands of lives. But those two other bastards are here! Free, alive.. So can Cartman!

"Cartman..?," he said choked as he felt steaming tears fall down his cheeks as he watched his fat friend laying down breathless, no bicker response. No insults. Nothing but flat silence from his part. His death even seems painful, not the typical peaceful dead look, just plain painful.

[...]

As the day ended things went back to normal as per usual, well almost.

Kenny never thought he'd find himself sitting in a funeral of one of his best friends. It was always the way around. For some reason it felt wrong. That he was supposed to be in that box and not his friend.

His mother crying on the side of the casket while some of the south park parents tried to comfort her, but failed. As she was never that close to them anyways. Besides, deep inside she knew no one would fully understand what she feels as she knows her son wasn't the best of person's. And that probably there were people from this town who'd want this or asked for this. But she? She saw the evil in him and had gotten tired of his stupid schemes but that was still her little boy and she will always be his mother. And that won't ever change, so the pain will always remain there. And everyone else was an hypocrite in her eyes.

The four boys remain silent, listening to the ceremony behold them. Yes four boys, as for now that Cartman would no longer partake in their group they added Butters in his place.

"So, do I like have to act like an asshole now?," Butters asked grabbing their attention.

"Uh no?," Stan answered.

"Well if I'm gonna take Eric's place I think I should like try to act like him, like when you guys once choose Clyde because he was the second fat boy of our class..?"

"No Butters, you don't have to act like Cartman," Stan stated now a little annoyed, this wasn't the place or time to discuss something like this when their friend hasn't still been buried. It kinda stings.. this feels fresh. It is fresh. Who knew this fat fuck would affect him?

"Are you sure?."

"For fuck sake Butters, shut up!," Kyle exclaimed angrily, receiving a couple of odd stares from some of the other people there. He cared less to be honest. He clenched his fist as he wanted so bad to punch his face and beat him up. As he'd normally just do with Cartman. Cartman..

Cartman, Cartman, Cartman..

He looked down to his feet avoiding his friends gaze.

[...]

Two days have pass, and honestly this Butters thing just wasn't working. Stan wondered if he truly would prefer having Cartman back than having to witness a whimp like Butters attempt to be a douchebag loser. Don't get him wrong, Butters can be a douchbag but he can't get into Cartman's level. Even if he tries to be. Maybe that's what Butters doing wrong? He's attempting to be someone he's not when he can easily be himself as a douche. But still, not Cartman.

For much of Stan's surprise, south park still hasn't changed a bit after his friend's passing. It's still chaotic, and bizarre. And as hard to admit it even feels longer and even torturous. New characters appear here and there, some were dicks, others were plain awful, some just bland boring ass people. He couldn't believe it, he's actually starting to miss him, as these other characters just feel forced to continue continuity when it's just full filling!

It's just two days. Two fucking days. He's been longer than that with out seeing his fat friend and he's okay with it, even thankful, and yet knowing he won't ever be seeing him because he's dead just changes things.

Let's not even talk about Kyle. Out of the the three. Yes, he's not counting Butters. Fuck Butters!

Kyle has been the most affected. Ofcourse he also has to witness the cringey attempts of their idiotic blonde friend, trying to become his new "arch-rival" as that comes in the packaging of being Eric Cartman. Including being a selfish, manipulative piece of shit. Anyways, point is, to be Eric Cartman you must also hate Kyle Brofloski. And Butters just doesn't have it in him to fully hate on someone or just give him the time of day Cartman would normally do daily, actually obsessively to Kyle.

So here he was, on one of the seats of the school buss behind Kenny and Butters, hearing Butters trying to bicker Kyle. It really feels surreal.

"So, Kayl."

"It's 'Kahl', if you're trying to mimic Cartman atleast do it right," he responded back with an added eye roll at the end.

"Well, geezz.. I mean Ay! Shut up you dumb jew! I'll do and say what I want, whenever I want!."

Well, now that's actually better. Stan actually had to repressed a laugh cause he actually found that funny.

"Wow, Butts you're getting better," complimented Kenny.

Butters beamed and stared at Kyle, who silently watch another kid entering the bus. He really did not bothered putting his attention on the blonde.

"C'mon Kyle, you must admit that was pretty good," He tune in, trying to get Kyle to loosen up.

"Yeah.. I suppose," Kyle then looked up at Butters while the other just looked back nervously. Kyle sigh, "can you fight?" he then added with a glint of mischief while the other two boys stared at Kyle, confused for the sudden change in demeanor. Butters looked a little uncertain on what to answer.

As he should, this is Kyle we're talking about.

"O-ofcourse I do!," In fact, Butters does know how to fight, just not Kyle, never Kyle.

"Great, meet me up after school in the playground," said finalized while standing up to get off the bus.

"Ah geez.." Stan heard Butters whispered before getting off the bus to join his friend.

He didn't know what Kyle had planned, but he sure wants to find out.

[...]

"Oh geez! I don't think I can be Cartman no more!," exclaimed Butters with a couple of bruises in his face, tired, "Kyle was beating me up like a butcher to its meat selection!."

"Well that is Cartman's job to deal with y'know," Stan added. He figured this must be a way for Kyle to get rid of Butters. So he followed along.

"Yeah dude, if you're gonna be Cartman. You must know that you have to become Kyle's personal punching bag," Kenny tune in, actually enjoying the laugh. He knew we were all messing with him. Cause in fact, it seems Stan was not the only one bothered by Scotch.

"Oh Jesus!."

"Man, actually I do believe you can become Cartman, even better. As you seem to be more capable of taking Kyle's moods," yeah, we can be assholes sometimes. Stan smiled a bit.

"Oh boy.." he was not liking what he was hearing. Before adding anything further Kyle approached the group, tuning in with a happy humming.

"Hey there guys," he then glared at Butters, "Butters."

"AHHHHHH!!!," He scream while dashing out of there before adding, "Screw you guys I'm going home!."

"Well, that does it," Kyle shrugged.

"Guess no one can deal with you more than a day," Kenny added.

"I guess so."

"So now what?," Stan questioned. Everything just went silent.

Normally Cartman would suggest some stupid shit, we'd shit on first before following through with it. But even the substitute bailed on us, so we must figure it out on our own.

"Board games..?," Ken then added.

"Nah, done that yesterday," Kyle replied, tapping his foot on the ground, kinda impatient, kinda bored.

"What about basketball," Stan suggested. Once again the three boys remain silent. The wind whistling in their ears as they thought harder and the space between them felt thicker as they become smaller. And smaller, and smaller..

"Who wants to try summoning Cartman with a ouija?," Kenny added plainly, while pursuing on leaving the area to his place, with the certainly the others would followed.

In fact, not only did they follow, they were eager for it.

[...]

-In Hell-

"Dammit! no barbecue at sight in the most hottest place between three worlds!," Cartman exclaimed baffled.

He's been a hell citizen for two days now, and it has sucked. He isn't even allowed to go in the cool clubs cause he was a minor and would be forever be one for eternity! He did enjoy the public torture that was embrace there but besides that, nothing too outta the ordinary he could see up in south park.

He sigh, not knowing what to do, with out his friends to annoy, death feels empty. Boring as fuck! He wants to get outta here!

When he approached a counter were there were two men talking about some country song while drinking martinis, he decided to sit next to them. They immediately stayed quiet as his presence disturb them. 'Dumb bitches' he thought.

"So... how can we get out?," he asked.

"Excuse me?,"

"Yeah, like how do we get out from hell."

"Oh, why the hell do you want to get out?."

"Because it's boring as fuck, i want to live!."

"Well, he is young, George," one of the men side eyed his companion. The other nodded in agreement.

"Well there's no way, young boy," one of the men answered, I'll call him number two. Pftt, number two, get it? Hahaha! He repressed a laugh and continued trying to get more information outta the two grown men.

"Okay, but like there must be atleast someone who COULD know a way outta here, right?," he digged.

"Hmm.." number one begin thinking, pftt.. number one, "actually I believe there is."

Getting the boy's attention, he leaned forward as if it'd help him hear them any better. They were both drunk as fuck. For what it appears. Their talk was all gibberish, but 'anything to get out of here' he said to himself.

"You should look for the 'dark red soul'."

"The 'dark red soul'..?," he murmured.

"Yup, he lives in the coast side, just follow the direction signs and go to the yellow hotel. And just ask for him, someone must know where exactly he lives at, he's quite a party goat," number two explained chugging the bit of martini he had left.

So that, he did, he followed the directions signs that lead him to hotel 'jak n off' it was yellow, that's all he cared about. This asshole better know how to get out or he'll make sure he'll make himself a new bowl of chili.

[...]

"Oh, looking for red man?."

"Sure? Is that dark red soul?," he asked not very sure if it's the same guy he was told of.

"Yeah, that's his party animal name. Follow me."

'Tch, lame.' But he did follow. This tall freckle man took him to a long dark alleyway, he was feeling skeptical at first but then remembered he couldn't die if he was already dead. It's like respawn. Sigh. He remembered when he first came here, he fell in some spikes down a lava-fall (waterfall) he also remembered how painful it was but how quick he repawn back. So all is new.

The man enter a dark room and turn on the lights.

"Yeesh!!," some rookie exclaimed angrily as he was caught in a very peculiar position with a lady friend. Both naked.

"The fuck man!?," the red head turned his gaze down looking at the chubby boy.

His eyes widen as the latter.

"Dad..?" his mouth slightly agape. He couldn't fucking believe it. Out of all things. Out of all people. It was him.

Back then he would've dreamt of finding his dad, feeling complete and happy. But once he knew about what the town hid from him what HE hid from him, he just became bitter with the idea of ever having a father figure in the picture. He figured it would've weakened him and it was for the best to had never encountered or meet him. Cause he hates feeling weak. Cause he isn't.

They both looked at each other for a long brief silent second.

The other two people that were in the room left them, well more like the other dude stole his companion.

"Uh.. 'dark red soul'..?" he added, uncertain what to say. The boy felt his legs wobble and his lip twitch. While the older man had his left eye twitch instead.

"Yeah.." Jack answered quietly.

They were both put in a very awkward situation.

"..Eric huh?.." He then added when he received no answer. He wasn't use to having someone who didn't listen to him. Noneless a son who doesn't. Scott was always so eager to answer him even with the most smallest things. Man, he really missed his boy.

"You know my name?," the boy answered too quickly than he expected. He cough nervously, "ofcourse you do, I'm Eric Cartman," he boost his ego. More like a cover up of his insecurities at the moment.

Jack lighten up a bit at the comment. Indeed he knew about the trouble maker he was, well the trouble in general, everyone in south park knew. The son of a single crackhead whore mother, a whore he slept with.

"I see you're quite a confident one," he said cheeky before nudging the boy.

Cartman jolted by that action. Skepticism was basically like his middle name. That type of gesture is uncalled for and unnecessarily. And it made him feel uneasy for some reason.

"Yeah..right," he decided to ignore the remark, "okay so.. I heard you know how to get me back to south park?."

"Oh, so that's why you're here?," then he realized that the only reason the boy is presented here was because of the inevitable, he died in the upper world.

Maybe it's his instincts, or just maybe because he's been so lonely. He feels this sudden sickening attachment towards the boy. As messed up as it sounds, considering he did ground him into chilly. But in his defense he didn't know. He didn't know he was his father. Would've that made a difference? That he couldn't know. But that made him soften just a bit. That would keep him fooled just for now.

"Yeah, I want to get back home," Cartman stated, as the tense moment had started to drift off coming to a lighter ambient.

"Oh, well I suppose I could help you with that," he lied. He saw Eric's eyes sparkle a bit, as in hope. It remind them so much like Scott's..

"Sweet!," he exclaimed excited. Finally, this literally hell will be over soon.

[...]

"So you're saying you own that hotel?," Cartman asked. As his father explained most of his living down in hell and his ropes in it.

They headed to a taco stand and Jack gesture him to take a seat in one of the chairs while he order.

"Pretty much. Cool huh?," he responded a little proud of his accomplishments.

"Yeah.. so.. 'jak n off'?," Cartman asked while he saw the waiter place their beverages in the counter.

"Haha yeah.. I thought it'd be funny. No one seems to care," he added with a chuckle, taking a sip of his soda.

"Ha.. I- when I was in the upper world me and my friend kinny started a business reopening a old hot dog restaurant and we named it 'DikinBaus' haha.. just to mess around with people," he admitted, strangely still feeling uneasy and nauseous.

"Ha! 'DiknBaus'? I love it!," Jack laughed a bit whipping a fake tear out of his right eye, "I guess we share a certain humor, Eric."

"Yeah.." he look down at his hands. It felt odd talking to his dad. He wasn't sure if it was good but he knew it wasn't unpleasant.

"So you also have a business?," Jack asked interested. His boy does resemble him in ways he won't deny that, though his slut of a mother's features were surely there, all over his face to be in fact.

Scott never seem interest in taking big steps on trying to climb to the top leagues or have big ideal dreams. He seemed okay with living in the low peaceful life and well, following his favorite bands gushing over there new songs as a fellow follower than a leader.

"Well. Turns out they took it away from me when it became one of the most popular places in town! Can you believe that?," he complained, finally letting loose the awkward tension he felt, to vent his anger and displeasure, "and what's worse is that my mom followed through with it and didn't care that we had a lifetime successful business with a cool looking house!."

"That sounds awful, your mom's a bitch," Jack admitted. He can already tell Eric can have a bright future as a business man if he we're to try harder.

The boy jolted. It anger him when anyone talks bad about his mom, maybe Jack can be an exception being his dad and all?.. but it still pinch his heart and left a sour feeling in the tip of his tongue. Yes, his mom's a bitch, but only he can say it. He really doesn't know how to respond to his dad about it.

"Right.." he then continued sipping his soda, "so, how did you manage to create one of the most popular hotels in hell?," ignoring further his mother's mentioned.

"Well, when I was down here I was very popular among the other people that had also previously died. I stood out in a way."

The food had already been served. And Cartman picked one of the bean tacos and starting munching it, he felt his father's stare on him and he felt conscious of how he was eating 'Do I have something?'.

"Really? What made you so different?," oblivious to the other stares he was getting from the other customers.

"My death," He bluntly admitted, making Cartman almost choke on his food. 'Fuck'

"Oh," he flatly stated.

"Yeah, it was a hit back then. Everyone was talking about it, and people glorified me for it. As they say it was one the most radical deaths they've had ever heard happening," Jack explained, smiling by the memory, he found himself oddly proud of it. As it had benefited him in so much, and honestly he liked the attention on him, "As to expected I was very popular and was given many opportunities, like talk shows and lots and lots of 'money'," said emphasizing the last word.

Cartman stared at him for brief seconds, "money?," hint of greed in his words. Jack smiled by that, and nodded. He sure was his son.

"So.. how did you die?," he finally asked that anxious question he's been wanting to know.

"So like, I was kinda forced to help my annoying friends out to bring back chutulu to the underground, even though I didn't want to and wanted to just use chutulu to destroy 'DikinBaus' as because no one deserves such a wonderful place I made, and I was shot by the military by accident while I was on top of chutulu's head, falling straight to the ground," Cartman answered casually, squeezing some ketchup on his plate mimicking the blood he imagine leaving, sparing the costume details and the manipulation tactic he use too.

"Wow, I guess us Tenenorman just have it in us on dying radically and cool," Jack laughed excited with a fist in the air.

The name used took Cartman off guard. He was a Cartman after all! But it really warmed his heart to be complimented that much and it felt nice, being included for once. So he let it slide just this once.

"Yeah, I guess it is!," He exclaimed more confident and puffed his chest out, proud.

Jack gave him a warm smile and Cartman returned it back.

[...]

Jack had went on asking for some books he claimed as 'solutions' for Cartman's problem, while the boy decided to sit back and rethink his choices of the chilly incident and how different it would've been if they had just told him the truth.

Then, he felt a odd buzzing sound inside of his ear. He started smaking his left side with his palm.

"Cartman!," he.. 'was that Stan?', "Dude can you hear us? Are you there?."

'Holy shit, it is the hippie!'

"Stan?."

"Fatass?," another familiar voice chimed in.

"Aye! I Ain't fat you stupid jew!."

"Holy shit, Cartman dude!," Stan exclaimed a little too excited then he wanted to be. Cartman flinched by the intense noise in his ears, it was bothering him.

"Ow! Aye you damn hippie! Lower your voice will yah! My head hurts just hearing you guys!."

On the other side Kyle couldn't hold a smile. The other boys just laughed by being able to still annoy Cartman even being in a whole different life.

"So how's it going over there, Eric," Kenny asked.

"Yeah, you haven't lost ten thousand pounds over there by not eating junk food all day?," Kyle added, knowing well Cartman would answer back by the remark he leaned forward to the magic ball that was centered in the middle of the ouija.

"In the matter of fact, you dumb jew, I'm eating pretty well," The boy answered with puffed cheek and airs of superiority, "But things are going pretty well, it's boring as fuck though I was trying to find a way outta here," he then added. Not even questioning how they even managed to connect with him.

"And how's that going, Cartman?," Stan asked curiously. He really wanted to know if there was way.

Cartman took a few seconds to rehear his friend's question. He considered it a bit. After all, he was starting to find hell quite less boring now that he found his dad. He was not going to admit that to them though.

"Uh- well, I'm still on it. Not much luck though," he lied.

"Dammit Cartman, you fat fuck you really can't do shit with out us can you," Kyle then added, smirking slightly.

"Aye!."

The three boys started howling of laughter.

"Eric?."

Eric jolted in shock by the sudden voice behind him, reappearing to his vision. He reposition himself.

"Everything alright?," Jack answered a little concerned of his son behavior just now. He had just returned with some books at his hold while he witnessed Eric seemingly talking to himself.

It was nothing new to him that his son was mentally fucked up, so he has decided to shrug it off.

"Yeah, everything's alright."

'Who's that, fat boy?,' Stan asked.

"No one.." Cartman answered in a whisper.

"C'mon, Eric. Let's go to my place and discuss about your situation," Jack added with a nod gesturing to follow him.

Eric then pursued on following behind him.

[...]

"I guess we lost connection with Cartman," Kenny stated. As they no longer could hear their fat friend.

"How long will it take for us to be able to contact him again?," Kyle asked a little eager. He was finally being able to enjoy the presence of Cartman again, and honestly it was hard to admit he did miss it.

"Probably tomorrow," the blonde shrugged laying down on his bed, "maybe we should try asking the goths if they know how to bring a person back from the depths of hell."

"That sounds like a good idea," Stan chimed in.

The three were now determined on bringing Cartman back.

On the other side, Cartman found himself admiring his father's pent house. It had one of the most amazing views of hell. He stared at the window for a brief long period while seeing every store, house, streets, even the small from afar hell citizens.

And don't get him started on his gaming room! There was also a personal gym 'meh' who gives a damn about exercise. He continued looking through the home. Big kitchen, bathroom, room.

Wow, literal heaven.

There was a box full of condoms on one of the kitchen counters which his dad immediately hid when he found the boy inspecting the area.

He followed behind him with his arms cross on his back, he liked how much Eric was admiring his success with those big innocent looking eyes, though he knew deep inside that image, he was a little devil just like his mother. Both innocent looking yet easy to sugarcoat someone into giving them what they want, making them devilish.

He remembered venting with pride to his son Scott about being a Denver bronco and the games his won, all the attention he received because of it looking for praise from him, but received none but a small nod while he presided on listening to music. Maybe because he was a teen and no longer interested in hearing about their parents accomplishments and tales.

But Eric, oh small little Eric found everything he did amusing and exciting! He enjoyed that.

"Okay, uh.. Jack?," the boy spoke, uncertain what to call him.

"You can call me dad," The redhead added too quickly, he 'tsch' silently.

It went silent again. Jack figured it'll be a matter of time for things to settle down and fix on it's own.

Cartman had his mouth slightly agape staring at his father trying to pick on any slight hint of bluff in him. But found none. 'No one wanted to be his dad' no one dare tried to be.

Jack was starting to feel a little uncomfortable 'maybe it was too soon?' Before the boy spoke up.

"O-okay, dad," he said with a flat line as his mouth.

That word just felt so cursed coming out of his mouth.

Jack beamed.

[...]

A whole week has passed and the boys were no longer able to contact Cartman. Kyle began to worry if something must have happened to his idiotic friend while in search of an exit from hell.

They had failed miserably to summon Cartman back. Tried the various forms the goths have told them to do. But nothing worked. And now they had lost the only connection they had towards him, Cartman was just too much to bring back he supposed.

Stan had suggested that it may be because he was too fat to fit in any of the portals made. He found that funny cause it was most likely to happen.

He sigh.

The boys decided to just start looking for a new replacement. As they had already gripped on the idea on the other boy's return being less possible.

So here he was. Being the one chosen to pick the new Eric Cartman.

"So why again do I have to pick him?," he asked with a frown expression, having cupped his cheek with the palm of his hand.

"Because, the new Cartman has to be able to keep up with you," Stan stated the obvious.

Kyle raised a brow by that, "What's that supposed to mean?."

"It means, that if he were to be put in a stupid situation where he pissed you off enough to riled you up, then he must be able to budge through with it."

"Doubt it," He said bored. He wasn't interested in finding a new Cartman, he wanted his Cartman back. Their Cartman back.

"Okay, kid. You got the rules?," Stan questioned, eyeing a brunette chubby boy. His name was Tobias. The boy tilted his head not as sure.

"So.. I just can't fight back?," he asked displeased, wrinkling his nose. 'Kinda like cartman' Kyle thought.

"No. You fight back in a sketchy scheme to bite back at Kyle," Kenny explained balancing a pencil with his mouth, "you just let Kyle beat you up."

"But- that's not fair! How can I just let this dude just beat me up?."

Kyle was just standing next to him eyeing the boy. Already annoyed by this interaction. A good start he supposed.

"Dude, it's Kyle you just-" Stan gripped the bridge of his nose to calm himself down, "look, you be an ass, then Kyle beats you up for it. Get it? That's how their dynamic works."

Still not reassured by the answer the boy looked at Kyle in a stance for a fight.

Kyle then did a stance, about to prepare punching the kid. But before even giving him a throw, the boy flinched and cover himself up with his arms.

"Damn, what a pussy," Stan said.

"Ay! I ain't no pussy!," he shouted, his fist were clenched, and his cheeks were red with embarrassment, frowning his face.

"Go on," Kenny tune in, finally fully focusing on the boy, an eye brow raised.

"W-well.. you guys are a bunch of assholes! Fuck you guys!."

"Okay, okay," the blonde boy raised his hands, grinning from ear to ear, "and what am I?," he closed his eyes putting a hand in one of his ears waiting for the correct answer.

"A poor piece of shit!," the boy in question exclaimed, "you're a stupid hippie. That only -" he points at Stan. And continued bashing on all three of us.

Stan and Kenny were grinning widely while Kyle felt a little sting is his chest.

They found their Cartman.

[...]

Cartman on the other hand had been laying down on the living room couch, with a very thin blanket as the environment he was in was already quite warm. Atleast for what his father had explained to him. The weather is only based on just two season changes. Summer and 'winter'. Summer is burning hell, winter it's freezing hell as if it were wanting to snow in literal hell, but it never does. Ofcourse, they were in summer when he had arrived, and it'll be like that for the next eight months.

The TV was on and it was kinda late at night for what he supposed called 'hell hour'. Their night time.

His eyelids were half lifted, tired. He won't deny the first few days spending time with his dad we're great, with the exception of the crappy so called 'food' he made, it was just too.. let's say bland 'healthy'. Unlike his mom's amazing cooking nothing could compare. But he had adapted to it very quickly as Jack had promised him to go out for some yummy foods as a 'treat'. He supposed he could endure the torture for a couple more days as long as he was still able to play with all his video games.

But the more the clock ticks the more bored he gets, the more un-patience he gets. Jack also wasn't always home compared to his mother. He had work, and had explained to him this is how he owns such nice things and keeps things in check under 'their' rooftop. He was barely home, and not only that he'd come back with lady friends and takes them to bed with him, claiming they were there for business. What he's not aware of, is that he's already very familiar with the so called 'business' before. His mother has finally mellow down on it but this prick doesn't seem on ending it anytime soon as some college freshman.

He had guessed his former wife had ended up in heaven as she is no longer in the picture and the man never mentions her. Taking this as a opportunity to sleep around with as many women he could get, just like with his mother. He frown by the thought.

He sigh, as he knows better than to knock on the grown man's door. He knew he had taken a lady friend with him inside, he didn't even bother glancing at him before taking her inside. So he layyed there. In that silent room, all by himself hearing the TV noises slowly being blocked by his brain.

He missed south park.

He missed his friends, and his bitch of a mom.

He closed his eyes. And then he jolted back up.

'That's it!' He exclaimed to himself.

He went through all the pages of the books Jack had brought, claiming they could 'help' which he never bother bringing up again cause he was distracting Eric with other cool more interesting stuff than returning him back to South park. For Eric's surprise they were a bunch of cooking recipes 'nothing of actual use!', he frown angrily. 'That motherfucker!' Literally.

He quietly tip toe to another shelf and started going through each individual book but found nothing. He was getting desperate as he was wondering how could Jack keep that information from him when it was literally the whole reason he found him for.

Then, when he was about to give up a green book had ended up smacking his head 'ow!', it had fell from above the shelf. But there was something special about that book that made him peek inside. There was code written in the back part of the book. He wondered where to use it for but was immediately answered as he look at the front cover. It was the best hint.

He slowly open the front door to sneak out and successfully do so. He ran trough each hall way of that huge building and had entered the elevator tapping a button for the ground floor.

He waited patiently, and had entered the shallow hallway. The book was titled 'room fith'.

He open the room and for his luck, it was opened. Everything was empty, a plain green painted room. He stood there confused thinking in 'what' he had calculated wrong.

Before 'snap!' The ground open immediately letting him fall straight into some cushions. The fall didn't feel so deep. But the whole secrecy makes it all skeptical, as if there's something to hide.

He looked around the small room, it was adorned with many satanic symbols, candles, glasses with sand and there were plenty of papers spread in the floors like rituals. He examine each one and approach the table that had many finished and unfinished work. Building plans, maps from areas of hell he hasn't heard of. He figured this was all work of his father as he can recall his writing from the small notes he had left him in the counter before heading for work explaining how to use certain things of the kitchen and wishing him a 'have a nice hell day' before adding 'you're not allowed to go outside'. Kinda controlling not gonna lie.

He flipped through plans and saw many other rituals of summoning. Who knows, he may be able to summon Kyle here? He snorted of the thought of pissing his friend off by bringing him to hell.

But then stop his tracks when he looked under the table to find a small safe, his eyes widen at the revelation 'this is it! This is were he's supposed to add the code.'

"What're you doing there champ?."

He jolted scared turning into the opposite direction.

Jack was smirking slightly while having his arms cross.

"Guess you're enjoying the tour huh," he approached slowly stopping three steps away from Eric.

The boy gulped felling this huge uneasy felling between them, sweating uncontrollably. He felt small for the first time in his whole life, looking at the older man's eyes.

Before being knocked out.

[...]

He opened his eyes and felt his arms tied to a wooden surface unable to move, he notice once adjusting his vision that he was in fact tied up in a chair. He freaked out, this feels oddly familiar.

He then turned his gaze upwards looking straight ahead. Seeing his father sitting down in a couch from that same room, arms were cross around his chest, man spreading but his gaze was straight towards him. He gulped once more. 'He really looks like Scott right now'.

Jack immediately lightened up once he saw Eric awake, he then proceeded to speak.

"Oh, Eric you're awake!," he beamed, forcing a cheerful tone. He didn't want the boy to realize how disappointed he was for catching him trying to escape, "look, Eric, I'm not gonna hurt you," he tried justifying his actions while he stood up.

"You knock me out and tied me into a chair you crazy bitch!."

"BECAUSE someone decided to bash in a forbidden area," Jack defended, he disliked the naming but bit his tongue.

"Cause you lied to me of helping me get out! Those books you brought were all cooking recipes!."

"Well, yes, they will be of help once you're older, champ! I didn't lie," the red head continued explaining while searching through his drawer, "Eric I want you to know that I'm just doing this for the best for you."

The boy remained silent which gave Tenorman the opportunity to continue reasoning.

"I want you to be able to accomplish your goals, I want you to become successful and I want you to be able to follow my steps in hell."

"What? Fuck that! I don't want to be a business man!."

"Eric, I see so much potential in you and have no plans on letting you waste it like your brother."

Eric froze by the mentioned of Scott.

"Unless you'd prefer ending up living in a old dusty hotdog like your mother lead you too?," Jack said with a blank face showing a couple of prints that had many, and I meant many incidents involving Cartman, "When you first approached me, that same night I made a huge search and found so much information on you, Eric, so, so much. You're quite a special boy," he added with a little hum.

"Scott has lost all his marbles, and as hard it is to admit it. I don't see him giving a good name for the Tenormans."

"Fuck the Tenormans! I'm no Tenorman!."

"But you are, Eric," there was a glint of greed in those eyes, something that made Eric's skin scrawled, "in fact, you're more of a Tenorman than a Cartman," he took out a scrapbook from the left side of his drawer.

He flipped through it and stopped in one, deciding to show the boy what was in it.

It was a old newspaper with a young man, probably in his mid-thirties he had ginger looking features but it looked like him, a way older version of him. He had a smirk on while being dragged by cops in the picture, his features resemble pure chaotic vibes. You just knew by seeing a glance of this man, he was trouble.

The article had titled 'psycho man rigged presidential election'. Eric gulped again.

"That's your great grandfather," he then picked up another of his prints, "you know who also tried rigging a presidential election?," Jack added smirking while showing a picture of Cartman and the head of Disney along of millions of election votes.

He then showed him another article, he so called great grandfather was standing next to three other boys picking on one in peculiar, he supposed a friend. He seemed jewish as he had a star of david necklace on him. This article had nothing too chaotic on it, they just use those four teens as an example of 'what not to be'.

Then his dad showed him a picture of his three friends and himself. One where he was in fact, taunting his jewish friend.

He sigh.

"Okay? That means nothing! I want to get back home!."

"That's the thing, Eric, you're not," Jack said, calming placing delicately the scrap on top of the drawer, "I'm protecting you, by the evil of yourself, the evil of your great grandfather's soul on you and the evil of your mother's influence," he pointed, sitting back down comfortably in the couch.

"I'll actually put of good use of your skill and potentials, someone like you Eric should always waste their potential in something actually beneficial than to just fuck around with," Jack lit up a cigar while he continued his rant, "that's what your great grandfather did wrong, and that's what you're doing wrong. Putting your motives and desires into unbeneficial things, un important things. And for what? Just for a three second laugh before being dragged away to jail or to a 'pyscho ward'?," he denied with his head looking at his expensive shoes, smiling after emphasizing his last sentence.

"You mother fucker.." Eric murmured finally realized what the ginger meant, Jack smirked in understanding, "Scott.. he didn't just go crazy because of what I did, he was already going crazy before I enter his life I just pushed him forward to actually snap!," the boy exclaimed scared.

"Ding ding ding!," Jack nodded happily, "see, you're very smart."

Cartman really wanted to go, run away and hide himself under the warm covers of his bed, under his mother's care far away from this crazy bitch!

Jack had left claiming he'd get him some food.

There he was just sitting there afraid, he really prayed for a miracle, just one more miracle in literal hell!

He closed his eyes tight trying to imagine himself being just trapped in a really bad nightmare.

The boy found the switch in personalities amusing, as it were so sudden and unexpected. In a blink of an eye the man that was seen as a caring cool father turned into a crazy psychotic lunatic! He really started missing his mom.

He felt himself uncomfortable felling the ropes being sunken in his flesh, hurting him and he felt having cramps in his calves, it hurted like hell and he couldn't do anything about it. He began crying outta desperation.

Then, he felt a buzz in his ears once more 'guys?'

His eyes lit up.

"Is there someone there?," he asked sniffing his snot back inside as it was running down his mouth.

"Cartman?."

"Kyle?," the brunette boy smile, 'there was still hope after all!'

"Kahl! You gotta help me! Kahl!," the boy cried with no shame. It isn't unusual for him to seek help from his ginger friend when he had fucked up and needed help solving it, "I can't! I'm all tied up and I-I-! Bwaaahh!!!," he cried louder.

"Okay, Cartman calm down!," his friend responded, "what happened? Is everything okay?."

"No! Nothings okay you stupid fuck!," the chubby boy eyes were all puffed up and red, while he felt his throat dry up, "this fucker lied to me! He lieeed!"

"Who lied to you?," he didn't hear Kyle ask as he cut him off continuing explaining his current situation.

"I need help! I'm tied up in 'jak n off' hotel in room five the ground floor! I'm at the bottom!," He cried once again, between breaths he hold back tears, he was freaking out. He was scared, and he was alone.

Then snapped back nervously when he heard a door open from behind him.

"Hey, Eric. I got you some grilled cheese sandwiches in hopes for you to cheer up a bit, my little future super star," said Jack beaming mimicking his mother's tone, it had sent shivers down the boy's spine, "I don't want you gaining too much weight though, or you'll be seen as a piggy for the rest of your life. And no one, likes, pigs."

"Cartman? Are you still there? Cartman!?," he heard his friend's voice.

He remained silent not trying to reveal his last only solution outta this mess, blocking also Tenorman's hurtful words.

"Why Eric! Look at you, you look like a mess," Jack put the sandwiches aside while running to his drawer and taking out a box of tissues and wipes. He then approached the boy and started wiping his face. Cleaning all remaining leftover tears and the snot that had started to dry up in his mouth.

[...]

"Dude, how the hell are we gonna go find Cartman if he's in hell," Stan exclaimed confused about his best friend's claims.

"The only solution is one of us dying," Kyle said with a frown, determinant on finding cartman.

"Dude!?," the latter responded with a brow raised and his arms raised in 'wtf', "dude I don't want to die! There's so much I want to do" looking at the ground thinking about the thousands of board games he hasn't played yet.

"Yeah, me neither!," exclaimed, Tobias.

Kenny remained silent staring at the red head.

"No one has to die, but me," Kyle spoke, he lowered his gaze. He knew it was risky, "I'm offering myself to do it," but it was worth the shot.

"Kyle that's the most crazy shit I've ever heard you say!."

"It's the only way! Nothing else has worked!."

"No, I'll do it."

The three boys turned their head towards Kenny. He had a frown and he seemed to not fear losing anything. Cause he wouldn't.

Kenny had already tried getting back into hell, dying various times to see if he could find Cartman but for some reason he hasn't been able to get a hold of the underground world. Waking back to life the next day. As in some sorta temporary limbo.

"That's okay, Kenny," Kyle reassured with a smile," I know you have your siblings to care of.. and well, I know Ike would have my mom and dad to take care of him, just in case I don't come back."

"Kyle, I'll do it. Eric is my best friend after all," Kyle's words was heartwarming but he wasn't gonna risk losing another friend.

Kyle frown reconsidering it. He then proceeded to nod.

They had left the Marsh residence as they wanted to be as far as possible from any witnesses, they went inside the weed 'garden'.

They found a solid ground far away from the farm. Atleast enough for a bullet to not be able to hear from a distance.

They got into a circle and Kenny stood in middle of the three.

He took the gun out, and pulled the trigger with not even a second thought. But there was nothing, just a small click everytime he pulled the trigger.

"What the fuck?," the blond asked confused looking up at Kyle.

"Sorry, Kenny I couldn't let you do that," his friend stated before pulling out a gun out of his jacket and pointed at his head 'that crazy son of a bitch' Kenny thought eyes wide open in panic, "here goes nothing," 'BANG' was all he heard before hearing the other two boys scream.

"Kyle no!," Stan shouted with his hands gripped into his head staring at his now dead friend, his face covered in Kyle's blood, "Jesus christ!!."

"Holy fuck," the brunette boy said horrified, "you guys are crazy! I no longer want to be part of this stupid group!," he screamed horrified before dashing away no longer looking back.

[...]

"¡AHHH!," Kyle found himself screaming while falling straight into what it seems to be lava. He looked upwards meeting with a pair of people staring at him. Is he really in hell right now? Fuck, he needed to start behaving once he's back in south park. He got up and managed to get out of the pit with ease.

He looked around, people forming circles partying here and there. There was lights everywhere even though it was pretty much lit already. Stores, buildings even food stands. 'No wonder that fat fuck didn't complain about being hungry' he thought to himself. Hell didn't seem bad at all! Well with the exception of the public torture displayed in front of him, he didn't seemed to mind it as much as he felt he should. What the literal hell?

He went to what appeared to be a big wooden cartel for new hell residents with the instructions on how to get back in their feet and their new purposes and do's, 'fuck that', he went where there was a map with all the locations needed to know. Also, pamphlets. He picked one and opened it. He recall Cartman mentioning a hotel called 'jak n off' and pursued following the directions given.

He then stood in front of a yellow building.

Okay, first instruction checked. Now, room fifth of the ground floor. But he stopped before doing any further action. He recalled his friend claiming there was someone with him 'what if they're still there?' He thought before considering a different approach.

Meanwhile...

"Holy shit, Kenny! What do we do!?," Stan said in panic, gesturing the other boy's dead body.

"Okay, Stan. Just listen carefully," the blonde had his right hand as a 'stop' gesturing to calm down.

He saw his friend breathing heavily, closing his eyes trying to regulate his heartbeat and breathing.

'he's just a crazy as Cartman!' That realization made the boy's eyes widen, "Holy shit," He spoke, now gripping into Kenny shoulders while the other boy flinched by the sudden action, "that was just as crazy level as Cartman!," he exclaimed his concerns.

Kenny loosen up from the grip before picking Kyle's body from head to shoulder. He gesture with his head for the other boy to help him with the other half.

Stan hesitated a bit but followed through.

"Fuck."

[...]

"Hmhm hmm!," Jack nodded repeatedly when he had finished re-dressing his off spring. He had bought him a little business suite the other day but had found this time appropriate to give.

The boy had refused and complained when the man attempted to take his clothes off but then failed immediately from his strength. 'Something beneficial from being a Denver bronco' he thought. He proceeded to submit.

Once back tied in the chair, his father turned him around being front of a large mirror.

'Ofcourse he was handsome' but he did not like being force to do things against his own will.

"Eric Tenorman," the man spoke with pride, "doesn't that just sound right?."

Eric gulped. He hated that name.

"Look at you, looking like a professional business man already!," he beamed again, "I'll be right back I'm gonna go fetch some wine."

"When are you planning to untie me!?," the boy wince when he saw a spider slowly going down on him.

A laugh as it were a joke was made, "oh, Eric," he then walked out.

None long after he had heard a loud 'thump' from behind him, he looked instead in the mirror and his eyes widen of excitement.

"Kahal!"

"Cartman?," the boy asked while standing up, he had fallen down from the cushions, ass straight to the ground, "Holy shit, dude! You alright?," he asked approaching him, he proceeded to untie the boy.

Kyle looked around a bit and proceeded to look at the boy that was stretching his back. He heard some cracking and popping.

'He looked like shit'

"We have to get outta here!," Cartman said before dragging Kyle from hand to hand outta the dark room. He was grateful he manage to see how his father summoned a door. But he stopped returning to the safe and grabbing the book and papers that were in there, once again gripping onto Kyle's hands dragging him out.

Once they were safe. They had ran out of the building, running towards the entrance of hell through the amount of new people that had arrived, and found themselves hidden behind 'Sussie's Buttocks' club.

Cartman sigh and Kyle just watched him with a frown brow.

With out further warning Cartman hugged the boy tight leaving Kyle speechless tensing his shoulders and his hands were up in the air unable to figure out if to correspond or just let the boy finish. He decided the second option.

"Thank you, Kyle! You came! I can't believe it!."

The boy loosen up the tension he had felt on his shoulders and just kept silent, letting his arch rival embrace him with his warmth. He could feel Cartman's rapid heart beat.

"Just so you know, I'm just here cause I couldn't stand your replacement," he said finally getting out of the boy's grip.

"Ay! You guys replace me already!?," Cartman protested angry while pouting.

The ginger smirked. With out realizing he felt himself hugging the boy tight. 'Fuck, he actually missed him', he buried his head under Cartman's shoulders as he felt him tense.

Kyle then let go, gazing at Cartman who had his eyes widen and the most heated red cheeks, mouth agape 'he looked gay' he thought. The boy then proceeded to lean towards him causing Cartman to panic as he weakly slapped him backwards snapping him out to his senses.

"Okay so who are we hiding from?," the red head spoke while he dust off the dirt on his jacket.

"Jack Tenorman."

Kyle's attention back to Cartman, in shock, "your dad?."

He nodded before vomiting. Everthing was all so overwhelming. Everthing his father revealed, his great grandfather and how home sick he felt, how much he missed his friends and mom. His insides twisted as he felt shivers all over him.

He made sure to point at Kyle's seamlessly new shoes though

"Ow gross, dude!."

[...]

Kenny found himself desperately wanting to go to hell but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't. As if there were something blocking him by going.

He sigh, legs crossed next to Kyle's rotten body, flies piling up around him. He and Stan had hid themselves in Randy's shed. They weren't certain if to burry him or not so they toss him in there while both took turns checking outside for any future witnesses which they failed miserably because Stan's dad had went for a quick smoke hidding from Sharon, and looked at them, glancing at both boys before looking at Kyle 'ohhh' he murmured, both brows were raised before closing the door slowly, leaving.

Kenny then took out the ouija board and place it in the ground. Might aswell try to contact Kyle.

"Any luck?," Stan asked wincing from the smell that was coming out of his best friend.

"No," Kenny tried cutting some more blood out of his wrist, carefully not making the wound any deeper. They needed a living mortal's blood to be able to contact the dead.

"Do you think he went to heaven?."

"Nah, man. You really think one of us will end up there after the amount of shit we've down?," he had went to heaven before but it was a one time thing, after he started simply caring less about his deaths he became bolder and is no longer admitted into heaven.

Besides he recalled Kyle unintentionally killing a bunch of Canadians that was enough reason to be sent to hell.

"Good point."

Cartman and Kyle found themselves looking through rituals and plans, they inspected the book while Kyle flipped through pages then stopped pointing at one.

"Here 'lay the one and only chosen one for the path to open, a bright light as blindfold being turned to one'," then continued reading the next paragraph, " 'the second gripped to life, will become sacrifice to give light as they are two'."

"What's that supposed to mean?."

"As they are two.." Kyle reread trying to add sense to what was written, brows knitted together, "that's it," He said looking at the drawings of two men one represented death, the other life. While life was seen switching places with death.

He flipped through the rest of the pages reading new paragraphs and prophecies.

'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one'

'Life and death which are shown to be bounded by a soul'

'Death is life, life is death, a curse forming in between them as the new bounded soul is created'

He flipped through the next page and eyes widen. It was a drawing of Kenny and Cartman. 'Holy shit'

"Did you find anything?," Cartman asked while laying down on his stomach, making paper airplanes with the loose pages that were spread on the floor as he had gotten bored.

"Well, there you are my special little boy."

Both boys gasped turning around while they got up, Kyle having gripped the book on his chest. He walked backwards placing an arm on Cartman backing away slowly shielding him

'Cartman was our way out' he told himself, justifying his actions as if it were the first time he found himself protecting the fat fuck. Which it wasn't.

Jack stood there with his arms crossed behind his back, grinning eyeing the book then looking back at Kyle.

"I see you brought a friend to play, Eric," he took a pistol out from the inside of his suite pocket.

Both dashed outta there running through the multiple people that were all formed in circles. Hearing Tenorman shout from a far 'Ay! come back here!'

'Like father like son'.

Kyle panted hardly while trying to grasp some air, Cartman was knocked out cold on the floor. Hopefully they were far enough from Tenorman.

A buzzing feeling in his ear caught his attention, he held it because of the intense pain it did as if that were gonna stop it. Blood trailing down his cheek he looked at the hand he had held himself with 'my ear is bleeding'.

"Kyle?," the boy in question jolted.

"Kenny!?"

"Dude finally! We were worried sick for you!."

"Is he there? Kyle? Are you there!? You crazy piece of shit! Jesus christ!," Stan chimed in," are you alright? Did you find Cartman?."

"Yeah, he's right here," he looked at the boy that was now trying to stand up. He offered a hand while the boy reached out and was pull up to his feet again. He looked tired, uncharacteristically tired. It gave Kyle an uneasy feeling as he remembered what he had read 'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one' he assumed Cartman may be 'life'.

"Okay cool, have you guys find a way out?."

"Is that the hippie?," Cartman asked finally paying attention to the buzzy feeling of his own ears.

"Yeah.." Kyle whispered more to himself than to anyone else, "Kenny?"

"Yeah? I'm here dude."

"Look this is gonna sound crazy but,"

'Bang'

"¡AAH!," Kyle looked at Cartman who had screamed in horror, then looked at his now wounded chest half lifted eyes before feeling his legs weakened.

'Fuck' was the only thing that came out before knocking out on the floor.

'Kyle!?'

'Kyle!?'

'Kyle!'

The boy slowly felt himself waking up by the sound of Stan's voice rumbling in his ears. He grunted, feeling sharp pains in his chest were he was previously shot, but managed to stand up.

He looked at his hands an feet, then his chest. It seemed to have healed as if it never happened 'had he dreamt it?' He looked around and found himself in the entrance of hell once more. Cartman was no longer at sight.

"Fuck," he frown 'this was being dragged too much', "Kenny, are you there?."

"Yeah man, what happened? We lost you for like an hour!."

"An hour? Holy shit.. okay, Kenny. I'm not crazy but I think you're 'death'."

"What."

"Yeah. I have a satanic looking book on me that has you drawn in here stating that you're bound into a soul."

"W-what?.."

"Yeah.. as crazy as it sounds but you're bonded. Not only are you bounded but to Cartman of all people."

"What!?," he heard both friends shout in unison.

"Look I don't know much for sure, but that's what I've gotten from what's written here. It says we need both of you to be able to get out."

"But how? I'm not allowed in hell."

"What?," he found himself confused by that comment but shrugged it off, "look 'the chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death' i- I honestly got lost by that point," Kyle admitted nodding to himself.

" 'The chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death..'," Kenny found himself repeating the words. He frowned.

Cartman and him were bounded.. but how? But why? Life and death. If he was death that makes Cartman life. Which having him in the underworld makes it not possible to be 'life'.

Death.. death is life. Which would makes sense if he were to die and revive.

Would that mean switching places with Cartman? As he found himself in life and he in death. All this is messing up his mind.

Would that mean what's been blocking him from both heaven and hell and keeping him in a sorta limbo state is because he's slowly becoming life? And Cartman..

'fuck'

"Kenny?," Stan's voice snapped him back.

"We need to find a way to bring Cartman back and quick!."

The chubby boy felt his body weakened while he was carried by his father. He had taken him to the rooftop of the building he owned while gripping tight with steel chains his wrists and legs into some torture table he had put there.

Half lifted eyes stared to the ground. He felt like shit.

His father stood there with clasped hands eyeing him everywhere as he was some golden trophy, as he were just waiting for something. But he couldn't grasp what it was.

"Did I ever mentioned you that Liane was part of a cult?," spoke Jack.

Cartman just kept silent as he began coughing badly.

The grown man walked towards him taking out a tissue from his pocket cleaning some of the trail blood he had cough out 'the fuck!?'

"When I first met your mother it wasn't at some stupid party your town folks had told you about. I met her in a cult meeting. I was young and was told they will be free booze," He reveal while fixing the boys now untied tie, "we felt attraction immediately and bonded over the fact that we were both there for booze, laugh it off and things just lead to an other," continued while shrugging.

Cartman found himself feeling his muscles spasm.

"I'm the good guy Eric! I would've never asked for this to have happen to you if I knew," he then place his hand onto his chest as an innocent demeanor, "your mother is to blame."

"The thing is, unlike me, Liane ended up getting too into the cult meeting and had unintentionally set herself up with two other soon to be parents, she had dragged me in, unaware of what would happened. She found it silly and fun and I found it a little creepy but followed through cause I was just too wasted to care about the odd rituals the other members were putting us in 'everthing for a piece of that' I kept telling myself."

The boy cut him off he began to have various seizures that lasted for up to three seconds before repeating itself, he felt his mouth grasping for air and being choked by his own saliva. His fingers twitched and his feet curled.

"And then, months after, you were born," unfazed the man wiped the saliva off his cheeks, "ofcourse by the time you were born I had no longer any contact with Liane and that so called meeting became a fuzzy memory for me."

"But, Eric," he approached the boy, face to face, "this, it's life changing," the boy heard while still trying to grasp for air, his vision long gone as it became blurry.

"Imagine, a Tenorman being able to switch in between worlds! Being able to use this curse and becoming one of the most powerful beings on both worlds," He ranted for himself, with every word being said his eyes dilated. Malicious, greed, selfishness surfacing, "not being able to die! HaHA! We'd be unstoppable!."

'Bang'

Tenorman fell into the floor.

Kyle then reloaded his shotgun while two other boys stood next to him.

"Stan help me with Cartman!," Kenny order running towards the almost unconscious boy. Stan nodded following.

They had manage to summon Satan while being in the upper world. Luckily Satan owed Stan a favor and it was just all convenient.

They managed to release Cartman by pressing a button that was place under the table with the label 'release' on it.

Kenny held the boy who convulsions worsened.

"Eric can you hear me?."

"K-kinny? Dammit kinny! Get out my death sequence," the boy complained even though his eyes looked elsewhere.

"You're not gonna die fat boy! You're already in hell."

"Oh, right," His body stiffened trying his best to take control but failed miserably once more, "how's it going?."

The comment made the blonde boy cracked a smile, "look Eric," he gently caress cartman's hair.

'That's gay' he heard the boy remark but ignored it.

"It'll be hard to believe this.. but I die," Kenny revealed, "like all the time," he sigh, feeling the glances of his other two friends on him.

"I know."

Kenny's eyes widen, "no, like I mean it, I die all the time!."

"I know," his chubby friend frown feeling stupid by hearing his best friend seemingly finding it hard for him to remember the obvious. And because of the condition he's in 'duh' he didn't feel like arguing, "I can tell you death by death, each and single one with detail and date."

Kenny was left with his mouth opened, speechless, he couldn't believe it. 'Is he really telling the truth or is he fucking with me?' All this time he's been looking for someone atleast one person that could remember. And he was there all along infront of him, someone he least expected.

"And you didn't bother on telling me!?," Kenny said angry, he felt his eyes water.

Cartman twitch in his arms, "nobody seemed to mentioned anything, and you never asked. I figured it may have been a bad dream or not as important cause nobody seem to believe me the few times I did mention it, they all looked at me weird as it I we're delusional," the boy admitted.

Now that he thought about it. The times he has admitted to someone about his curse, Cartman was never present. Which meant he had never given the opportunity to answer him. And when he mentioned it he was either dead or not around to tell.

Like if it were intentional for both boys to not be able to share this moment until now.

"You know what's messed up?," cartman's voice snapped him back, he had a weak smile plastered, "I began to be so use to it, it was easy to use your deaths. Like the time you were in the death bed or the time I had convinced everyone it would be best to disconnect you to have your psp, or being able to better my vision stealing one of your eyes, I knew you'd come back, you always did."

Kenny's eyes sparked in amusement 'he really did remember'.

"But the first few times.. kinny they were horrifying, I still feel uneasy but it isn't as before," his body twitch some more while he complained about the pain in his arms and legs, "I remember the rats eating your flesh, I remember trying to shoo them away cause you still weren't dead."

Kenny watched his friend with such warmth as if it were a cute tale he was retelling.

"The time Kyle killed you with a chainsaw," 'I what?' They heard their ginger friend asked confused but ignored it, "being killed by a bull, eaten by some pterodactyl, by oral sex, squished, run over," the boy shaked, the pain decreasing the more closer he got to kenny. On the other hand kenny was feeling immense warmth in his chest, like literal fire. 'Hell, It's really burning!'

Kenny remembered always being close in a certain way with Cartman, they even were once trapped together by his soul because the stupid idiot had eaten his ashes.

He glance down at Cartman who had let his head fall into his lap, smiling. 'This was kinda gay' he thought.

He felt the boy latching on to him, and he won't deny he felt the sudden urge to do the same which he unintentionally did. The burning sensation in his chest increased the pain, becoming unbearable 'fuuuuuck!'

On the other hand Cartman never felt more peaceful in Kenny's arms, he felt like he was in the clouds and couldn't recall why the sensation just felt like he was falling but there was no fear of an impact just comfort with in the clouds and sky.

Stan and Kyle didn't bare interrupt the two boys as they knew it was needed to get out and Kenny knew how to do it but they couldn't help feeling a little discomfort as this felt intimate and private. Atleast for Stan it wasn't displeasing just disturbing while with Kyle it was the opposite. He found the boys sudden closeness displeasing he just didn't know why.

Sudden the back door sling open reveling Jack. Kyle prepared his gun and pointed at him making him stop in his tracks.

"You guys don't know what're you're doing! Fuck, ¡no!," He exclaimed once he saw Kenny holding on to Cartman and vice-versa. He knew there was no longer takes back as their ritual bound was already in the stages of ending.

The two boys burst into flames seemingly showing no response to it. Atleast from Cartman's part, internally for Kenny it was a pain in the ass but he didn't show it. Sweat begin to pop up in his skin and his nails digged up in Cartman's suit, wincing his eyes shut.

Their silloette formed a door which proceeded to opened.

"Dude! I think it's the portal!," Stan exclaimed getting near it, while Kyle shot Tenorman in the head once more before following Stan. Not after glancing at Kenny and Cartman before jumping through the portal.

Cartman then layyed down flat finally letting go of Kenny. The blonde watched him while he started twisting in pain 'this is it' he then looked at Cartman, suddenly understanding before proceeding to enter the portal, finally vanishing.

Kenny sigh as he turned into ashes finally dying.

[...]

"Morning dudes," Kenny salute, beaming. He was in a good mood after all.

"Sup Kenny," Stan greeted.

"Hey Kenny," Kyle added.

"Cartman hasn't arrived yet?."

"That fat fuck probably forgot to turn his alarm on," the red head spoke with a yawn.

"Or, he did set an alarm but ignored it," Stan added.

"Either sound possible."

Not long after Cartman got on the bus greeting them.

"Hey dipshits!," he proceeded to take a seat next to Kenny who grinned at him, "so how you guys dealing after the hell incident?," he asked.

Stan and Kyle just raised a brow confused.

"What're you talking about, fatass?," Kyle then added while frowning not wanting to deal with Cartman's shit again this early in the morning.

"Yeah, dude, you alright?," Stan chimed in.

Kenny stared at Cartman still beaming while he saw the bigger boy's face turned in disbelief.

"Dude! I literally died a horrible death not long ago! Remember? Hell!? Kyle you literally went to save me!," he screamed.

"Did he also came in a shining armor?," Stan teased while both best friends, then, howl in laughter.

Cartman pouted bitterly. Kenny put a hand on his shoulder understanding well enough the feeling. The boy glance at him.

"Welcome to the club," he smiled.

Cartman looked up at the two boys infront of him that still found themselves laughing then looked at Kenny, smiling back.

"This sucks ass."

They both chuckled.

[...]

Kyle found himself approaching Cartman while they were entering the school entrance.

"Hey, fatass."

"What up," the fat boy answered while he took out his phone.

"About me saving you did I also bring a sword?," he bite his upper lip before bursting into laughter.

"Ha ha very funny Kahal," the boy said bitterly, "actually not only did you showed up in a shining armor, a sword, but you also kissed me on the lips as I was the damsel in distress." honestly was not the best combat but it was the first thing that came into spot. He wasn't planning to let Kyle have the last word after feeling still bitter about the red head not recalling the previous events.

Kyle was left baffled by that. For some reason Cartman's stupidity was beyond compression but the mystical accusation left him speechless.

Cartman had already proceeded on leaving to class but Kyle just stood there blank hearing a small noise in his ears that kinda sounded like 'hootie and the blowfish'.

In class Kenny had both his hands clenched, excited. He never felt more happy knowing someone does remember! Not only that, but the bound ritual just made their bound strengthen, as he watched Cartman knowing the other boy felt the same. He knew the feelings were true cause he felt it, they both felt each other when their soul united once more 'as gay as that sounds'. Cartman looked back at him sharing that same beaming felling before returning to bother Wendy interrupting her speech with slurs an unwanted opinions.

He always felt alone knowing no one remember him dying, an as much as he had his moments despising Cartman there was now this warmth comforting feeling that someone other than him knew, even if it were a bigot like Cartman. It's not like he could complain much after all, they will be forever bounded by a soul so there's no preventing being connected to one an other.

But he'd care less, he wasn't alone no more.

He smiled once again, he's been feeling all giggly all morning, he just couldn't help it. He was happy and today was just a nice super fantastic day.

School had ended as the bell rang.

The four boys walked with each other discussing what they'll do this evening as a squad.

"What about boar-"

"Stan, I swear to God if you say 'board games' once more I'll kill myself," Cartman interrupted by grunting.

Stan frowned.

"No offense dude, but Cartman's right. We've been playing boards games three times in a row for weeks," Kyle chimed in.

Kenny nodded. He knew Stan had developed a new obsession with board games when he moved to the farm and starting hanging out with Tolkien, which we didn't seem to mind much, but it had gotten boring being repeated multiple times everytime they hang out.

"What about cards?," the blonde suggested.

"Same shit," Cartman rolled his eyes with that.

Is that 'hootie and the blowfish' they began hearing in the background?

"Does anyone hear that?," Stan asked looking around.

"No," Kyle quickly stated.

"Anyways, what about basketball?," Cartman suggested while putting his attention on the others, his hands gripped on to his waist.

"You know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea Cartman," Stan agreed while turning his focus onto Kyle who seemed kinda spaced out.

"Hm?," the boy said before barfing on Cartman.

'BLEEEEARGH!'

"Ah! Gross dude! Wtf Kahl!?," he wince disgusted wiping off the barf from his jacket, "disgusting!," he kept complaining.

"Sorry!."

"Woah dude," Stan exclaimed.

"I think breakfast didn't do me too well," the boy explained while rubbing his stomach, nauseous.

"Fuck you! You're so fucking disgusting!," Cartman kept rambling angry while walking off, seemingly going home, "ew! Screw you guys I'm going home."

"Sorry, Cartman!," Kyle apologized once more before returning his attention to the others, "so is basketball still on the list?."

"Hell yeah."

Cartman not long after joined the other three with a new jacket staying farther away from Kyle claiming that he didn't want the ginger to barf on him again which the boy rolled his eyes from and Stan calling him out a 'pussy' while continuing playing the game.

It was a nice evening with the four boys peacefully enjoying their company as everthing had turned back to normal.

[askthefivefallen]

Angel has fat nuggets and Charlie has KeeKee, is there any chance any of you would want a pet in the future? I think Junior would be a very good cat dad.

J: "Oh, I think I'd like having a cat! Should probably figure out how to take care of myself first, though, before getting a pet..."

R: "Hey, you're taking care of yourself just fine, dude. You can feed and water yourself, plus hygiene- I think that's enough to consider yourself for being a cat dad. It's not like you have to teach the cat accounting."

L: "Plus, having a pet can be therapeutic. Maybe we should ask about visiting a... pound? I think that's what they're called."

R: "Why a pound specifically?"

L: "Well, after spending over two centuries indiscriminately killing Sinners, offering a home to those considered unwanted might be a step towards... something. It was just a thought."

T: "Well, we'll need to be careful about visiting pounds in Hell. Pounds can also be Hellhound adoption agencies, and there's a pretty big difference between adopting a pet and adopting a kid."

A: "Wait, do Hellcats exist? I want a Hellcat."

T: "Did- did you not just hear me-"

A: "I heard you but fuck it, I'm a great role model, I want a Hellcat."

R: "Too bad, you're not getting a Hellcat."

A: "Fuck you."

R: "Or any kind of cat. You need to learn how to mind boundaries before you go near another cat; the fact Keekee only teleported you into the air instead of a hellfire pit is the only reason you're not extra crispy right now."

A: "I'm getting a Hellcat, fucking watch me."

L: "I think you'd do better with a ball python. They're more sedate and come in pretty colors."

A: "Ball py- isn't that a snake?"

L: "Yes. A literal, actual snake, the embodiment of defiance against Heaven, the misunderstood creature bearing an eternal curse."

A: "... okay yeah I want a snake now."

R, quietly: "Nice save."

A: "If I get a black snake and put a top hat on it, think I could convince the Egg Boiz it's Sir Pentious' son?"

J: "Could you? Absolutely. Would you survive Cherri finding out?"

T: "You know, all this talk of pets makes me want one. Lefty, what sort of pet should I get?"

L: "Uh, well... it's hard to say? I mean, I would say a working breed of dog as a running partner but you... have that covered? A boxer might suit you, though. They're very playful and energetic."

T: "Playful and energetic, that's me! I think you should get a bird, Lefty. Like, a falcon or something. You'd be a good falconer. Falconeer?"

L: "Falconer and really? I would've expected um... something like a canary."

T: "Ah, c'mon, you're one of the most fearless divers ever! I've seen you pull up from a dive at the actual last possible second! You're totally a falcon."

J: "Oh, hey, there's actually a pound in the Pride Ring. It's not too far away, either, and look! They've got some cats. Think we could go and just look?"

R: "Two things: one, we can't all leave the hotel at the same time, and two, don't I get a pet?"

L: "Righty, we all know you adopted two of the rats, you're covered on pets."

R: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

A: "Oh, fuck off, you're not subtle. You named one Squeakerton and the other McCheesings. Which... honestly, are we sure we can't become actual Sinners, because those name choices are actual Sins."

R: "They chose their names!"

L: "Writing a bunch of names on pieces of paper and waiting for them to eat one is not a good naming mechanic."

R: "Oh, what, should I use the Adam method?"

T: "Wait... do rats have tits?"

L: "I mean, yes, they're mammals, so they definitely have-"

R: "Tits, Junior, Ass, you three go to the pound and see if any of the animals there catch your eyes. Because, honestly, I don't want a biology lesson right now on the sexual organs of rats."

[twistedtummies2]

Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 7

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! Today’s entry might be called an Underrated Mouse-terpiece. Ha Ha. Number 7 is…The Great Mouse Detective.

This is one of at least two films on my list where, if you don’t know me well, the movie being in my Top 15 – let alone my Top 10 – will probably be a surprise. However, if you DO know me well, then you probably won’t be surprised at all. “The Great Mouse Detective” is one of those hidden gems in the Disney canon: it’s not exactly a hated movie – I don’t know anybody who dislikes it outright – but it’s a film that frequently seems to get overlooked. It’s the very definition of a cult classic: a movie with a small but devoted fanbase, and a lot of other people just sort of go, “Oh, yeah. That movie exists.” There are a few reasons for this, I think; one is that the film, in its own time, wasn’t necessarily a smash hit. Oh, it was a successful film, don't get me wrong, and a much-needed one, at that. The previous movie, “The Black Cauldron,” performed so poorly at the box office it lost to the bloody Care Bears Movie (yes, seriously), and didn't exactly get a lot of critical praise. This film was a modest commercial hit, and critics seemed to like it both then and now, but it wasn’t something that revolutionized the company or made people suddenly become die-hard Disney fans again.

The other reason is merchandising: this film just hasn’t had the level of ATTENTION a lot of other films, both before and since, have gotten, or so it feels to me. Disney doesn’t exactly make a lot of toys, coffee cups, t-shirts, and so on based on this movie today, and I’m not sure if they ever did. Even the characters seem to be quite forgotten in the annals of Disney moviemaking; I think Bongo and Lumpjaw from “Fun and Fancy Free” have made more subsequent appearances in comics and cartoons than any of the characters in this film. Heck, outside of a cameo in an episode of “House of Mouse,” and a few obscure children’s books, I actually can’t think of ANY real subsequent appearances for these characters, off the top of my head. Whatever the cause for all this, it’s fair to say that “The Great Mouse Detective” isn’t a movie with the same level of enthusiasm, from fans, critics, and the company itself alike, as something like “The Little Mermaid” or “Big Hero 6.” Which is a shame because, very obviously, I think it’s a great film! Admittedly, a big part of my love for this film stems from the story itself, and what it's inspired by. The film is a pastiche of Sherlock Holmes. The movie was based on a series of books called “Basil of Baker Street,” which I’ve admittedly never read; from what I understand, however, the film has almost nothing to DO with those books, and instead treats itself as a more or less straightforward Sherlock Holmes movie. It just so happens that the names are different, and all the characters are now mice, rats, dogs, cats, and so on. As a kid, this was my introduction to the concept of Sherlock Holmes, and anyone who knows me well knows how much I love the Conan Doyle classics and their titular detective. So you can absolutely blame this movie for that obsession: I wouldn’t care about things like “Sherlock” or “Moriarty the Patriot” if I didn’t first see “The Great Mouse Detective” many times while growing up. In fact, as an adult, my love for this movie has only grown, because I now love it for both different and similar reasons to when I was a child. The main thing that I marvel at with this movie, now that I’m older and have so much more experience with the source material, is just how much this film pays homage to the stories. Some elements are quite transparent, like the characters: Basil is very obviously Holmes, Dawson is very obviously Watson, and Professor Ratigan is very obviously Professor Moriarty. They are the three key examples. Another is the battle atop Big Ben, which is a transparent riff on the climactic duel atop Reichenbach Falls from the books.

However, some details are surprisingly subtle. For example, the whole sequence with Basil and Dawson disguised as sailors is based on a specific episode of the probably-just-as-obscure-then-as-it-is-now 1950s Sherlock Holmes TV show. Unless you happen to have seen that show, you won’t pick up on that detail. Another example is the use of Toby the Bloodhound: he actually does appear in the Holmes story “The Sign of Four,” where Sherlock uses him to track down a peg-legged villain. While I knew of Toby’s origins, it wasn’t until earlier this very year that I realized that’s EXACTLY what Basil does with the pooch in the film: use him to track down a peg-legged villain, albeit one unrelated to the tale. A direct reference to one of the books I somehow never picked up on before! When even a die-hard Holmes fan like myself can be surprised by the film all these years later, it’s clearly doing its job well! Even if you AREN’T a major Sherlock Holmes fan, however, the movie is definitely worth looking into. It has wonderful characters, with a superb voice cast behind them (VINCENT PRICE IS THE VILLAIN, PEOPLE), an atmospheric setting, a couple of good songs, and a lot of fun, adventurous shenanigans from start to finish. While at first it may seem like just a typical “cute little mouse movie,” it’s actually got some real nail-biting moments, including one of the best and most action-packed climaxes of any Disney motion picture ever made. If you haven’t seen it before, find time to do so. And if you have seen it already, watch it again: I can promise you there’s always something new to uncover with this wonderful little crime story. The countdown continues tomorrow with my 6th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: “Most Everyone’s Mad Around Here.”