#but please also remember to take care of yourselves too while this situation fans out

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[binniesthighs]

multifandom soulmate aus ✨

soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites! 

➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general! 

✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts 

✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨

➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;) 

Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!) 

Genre: fluff n’ smut

Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol  

*all photocreds go to ops :) 

both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip! 

♡ chanlix ♡

sfw

omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates 

arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!! 

the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world. 

this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever! 

the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves! 

 your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh 

i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours! 

bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up. 

felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair! 

nsfw 

okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh 

once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh 

here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?” 

there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤 

since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;) 

chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm! 

felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;) 

favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over 

cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it! 

♡ woosan  ♡

sfw 

idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before... 

there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is! 

woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!! 

their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up! 

Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha 

wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL 

san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh 

at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha 

nsfw 

THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL 

and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!! 

i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...

sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it 

both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it. 

wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss 

san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well. 

back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him! 

in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA 

every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life! 

AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them. 

favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3 

♡  moonbae  ♡

sfw 

HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh 

there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about 

INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you 

Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;) 

Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke

Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night. 

Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice. 

Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well 

Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob

Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe 

it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here. 

THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK 

You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho. 

The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you 

nsfw 

ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe) 

firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you! 

i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire! 

kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that) 

separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too! 

jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;) 

together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho! 

when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol 

favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;) 

♡ jookyun  ♡ 

sfw

oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll) 

the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time! 

as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf! 

i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL) 

while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering. 

because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day. 

your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah 

the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah

Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets! 

jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee 

the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP 

nsfw 

hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is. 

also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt 

jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started 

while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too! 

on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles 

at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join! 

kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~ 

♡  junhao  ♡

sfw

here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha 

while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved! 

first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good? 

hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe 

TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics 

hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you! 

jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute! 

there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh 

still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames.... 

in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that! 

nsfw 

hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏

this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words. 

well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten. 

minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes! 

i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more! 

BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on

oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this 

it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit 

and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral 

actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others 

favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~ 

♡  yeonbin  ♡

sfw 

DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT  

admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe 

FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course 

LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha 

being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends! 

dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic! 

soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it! 

his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen! 

yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks! 

in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders! 

Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah 

nsfw

NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations 

oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll 

i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it. 

yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose. 

im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too) 

WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS

both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it? 

at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too

FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight. 

i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down 

oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh 

one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~ 

♡ taekook ♡

sfw 

omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception! 

i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute 

another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe 

the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL 

jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh 

kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you

i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!! 

i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd 

together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe  

forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand! 

nsfw 

luxurious in this area tooooo 

they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh 

ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so! 

i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh 

these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh 

BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd 

in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~ 

tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy 

jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver. 

both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that! 

there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy! 

sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~ 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[alchemania]

Barbara, and Bennett: Toxic Positivity (and how they each exude it)

While it's easy to spot negative toxic behavior, toxic positivity can be harder to recognize and pin down. In this blog, I am going to analyze 2 characters in Genshin and explain just how they show traits of toxic positivity. (I originally was going to include Jean, but I already covered her in an earlier blog so it'd just be redundant)

Barbara Page

Barbara is all smiles and sunshine, trying her best to ensure that everyone is happy. However; she does this to an unhealthy degree and often does not prioritize her emotional wellbeing.

#1: Forcing herself to always be happy.

Barbara's story lines state that she "only allows herself to be depressed for 30 seconds" and that after that, she basically puts on a smile; regardless of what she's actually feeling. She often talks about how good everyone is to her, and I honestly believe that Barbara invalidates her own depression because in her eyes; she has a good life and there's no "reason" for her to be sad, plus if she was sad then everyone else would feel down. She hasn't experienced anything traumatic, so how can she have the right to be depressed? But the thing is, she has: her parents divorced when she was young; and Barbara grew up apart from Jean, leading to a lack of a relationship between the two. While the divorce, based on Jean's story lines, did not seem to have a lot of negativity around it (from what I can tell Simon and Frederica actually split on amiable terms, they just fell out of love with each other), it still affected Barbara in a negative way and no doubt she is hurting from it but she's not acknowledging her pain. All trauma is not the same, this is true. But all trauma IS valid; just because someone is hurting less doesn't mean they're NOT hurting and Barbara needs to understand that her pain is valid and give herself time to process it.

#2: Lack of emotional boundaries

If there's anything that Jean and Barbara have in common besides both being healers, it's that they're absolutely terrible at saying no. In Barbara's hangout, she feels guilty for avoiding Albert and wanting to be left alone despite being emotionally exhausted and even wants to apologise, despite doing nothing wrong. Later on when her fans ask for autographs; she agrees, despite being off the clock and trying to take a break: Aether has to step in personally to get people to go away, and not only that; he has to lie through his teeth in order to do so. If you tell the NPCs the truth ("Barbara is currently on leave, please don't disturb her",) they'll reply "Oh she's on leave? Perfect time to ask for an autograph!" They don't care about her feelings; all they care about is what she can do for them and the worst part is that Barbara lets them treat her like this. It's so bad that the Knights have to constantly step in and rescue her because folks can't get it in their heads that off the clock =/= available; and Barbara feels like if she can help other people that she needs to; to the detriment of her own needs. She seems to think it's selfish to put herself first; but looking out for yourself emotionally is anything but. It's okay to say no, it's okay to tell people you're not available. Just because you're free doesn't mean you're up to engage and there's nothing wrong with that. But like Sister Victoria says herself; Barbara is too nice. She gives and gives and gives and expects nothing in return, and people take advantage of that.

#3: Undermining herself through constant praise of others

In her hangout, she tells you that besides singing and healing, she doesn't have anything worthwhile about her, and then goes on about how amazing you are, Jean as well. Barbara doesn't acknowledge her positive traits, and then when she vents to you she apologizes for doing so, since you were supposed to be hanging out and having fun. She puts a lot of her worth in comparison to what other people can DO, and not actual character. Barbara is a lovely person: she's sweet and kind and loving, but because she doesn't see herself as physically strong or powerful, she doesn't think she's worth a lot.

Bennett

My GOD, Bennett is like the EPITOME of toxic positivity.

1. Allows others to mistreat him and take out their feelings on him because he feels it's his fault they're suffering (essentially, a martyr complex)

Bennett's hangout is a prime example of this where when Royce got angry, Bennett simply let him yell until you step in. Due to his almost perpetual bad luck, he feels that he's responsible for the misfortune of the people around him and since he can't physically do anything about it, he attempts to "atone" by letting himself be emotionally assaulted.

He also puts himself in physical danger to keep other people safe (he figures since he's already unlucky, might as well suffer a little more if it means everybody else is okay, right?), and accepts abandonment as the norm since he's a liability. Bennett does not value his wellbeing whatsoever due to constantly being in danger and he seems to be of the mentality "If I'm going to die, at least let me die protecting everybody" and that immensely upsets me that a KID, who's probably no older than 17, is already considering his mortality.

#2: Not allowing himself to process negative emotion

Just like Barbara, Bennett constantly forces himself to always keep a smile on, only in his case it's more to keep himself from getting overwhelmed about his situation. It's heavily implied in his story that Bennett is afraid that he could die any day (and I don't blame him) and so he lives hard and fast because he feels he doesn't have a lot of time. He's cheated death MULTIPLE times (he almost died as a baby, and he almost died prior to receiving his Vision), and Bennett more than likely feels that one day, he's not going to get lucky enough to escape again; and he'll actually die. His life is an entire string of misfortune and unlike Barbara and her parents divorce, Bennett is aware of this trauma: he simply chooses to take it in stride and forces himself to stay upbeat. Which is just as bad as letting negative emotion completely overwhelm him, it's literally just the other ditch.

Bennett also seems very sad about the fact that his team abandoned him but he doesn't let himself process that either (if you respond angrily to the revelation that his teammates left he'll jump to defend them and insist "they had their reasons"- and that may be true, but that doesn't invalidate the trauma and sadness of being left behind because of something you literally cannot control). Similar to Diluc, Bennett is sort of an Atlas of his own right, but instead of carrying all of Mondstat on his shoulders he's shouldering his emotional wellbeing: he refuses to vent to anyone and bottles everything up because he doesn't want to be a burden; but in doing so he's only hurting himself in the long run.

(Thank God for Razor though it seems like he might be hanging around for the long haul and that makes me immensely happy. I could cry. Please don't let anything bad happen to him and Bennett they deserve friendship)

I'm going to go off the beaten path a bit here but, to all you guys reading this; please remember that:

1. Your trauma is valid, regardless of how "lesser" you think it might be.

2. You are not obligated to give yourself emotionally to other people if you are not up to it. You cannot give what you do not have, and if you're not 100% emotionally wise, you really shouldn't be taking on any more negative energy. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. If people can't respect that then they're not worth your time. Set emotional boundaries and don't budge for anyone. The people who are meant to stay will honor your boundaries.

3. It's okay to be sad! And it's okay to be sad and have no idea why. It doesn't matter if you have a 'good life,' depression doesn't care who you are or where you are on your walk of life and sometimes it hits like a truck. Your sadness is valid and don't be afraid to take the time you need to acknowledge and process your negative emotions.

Please take care of yourselves, friends; and be safe.

Have a good day. 💗

[suneatersupportsquad]

means something; dream

summary: dream loses his last canon life and no one has the heart to tell the reader. the reader is in denial, confused as to why their dream isn’t coming home.

dedication: @lemonlime-system​

genre: angst, romance

pairing: c!dream x reader

characters: c!dream, c!fundy, c!nihachu, c!ranboo, c!ph1lza, c!wilbur soot, c!sapnap

word count: 2.8k

warnings: angst, alcohol, character death

a/n: this is obviously not canon so please don’t take this as such. also i’ve never written dream before so i apologize if this is a little ooc. if y’all have any suggestions on how i can improve writing for dream (or anyone else), please let me know because i’ve only recently gotten invested in the SMP. thank you :))

important links: lizzy mcalpine - means something  masterlist

I saw your name on a street sign In the middle of nowhere And that has to mean something

You and Fundy had been messing around on the server all day, this being one of your boyfriend’s busier days. You didn’t want to let yourself miss out on any of the shenanigans on the SMP just because your boyfriend couldn’t be online, so you rang up Fundy and decided to muck around a little. The two of you had been sprinting down one of the paths when you had noticed a new sign at one of the many intersections. You stopped and crouched down to read it, Fundy watching you curiously. Suddenly, you giggled. “Hey, it says Dream Street,” you beamed, turning to face him.

“What?” he laughed, stooping down to inspect it. After a moment, he straightened back up. “Huh, I guess it does.”

“Oh, that’s so cool!!” you gushed, bouncing a little. “Would you mind taking a picture of me with it, Fundy? I wanna show him later.”

After laughing a little at your face-splitting smile, he agreed. You struck a cute pose beside the sign and smiled as the Dutch man crouched a little and took the picture.

I know your zodiac sign Me and Leos get along great And that has to mean something

“Are you on your astrology shit again?” your boyfriend asked as he laid across from you on the bed, an amused smile curling his lips.

“No,” you giggled, dragging it out as you opened an app on your phone. Co-star lit up your screen as you pulled your knees to your chest. “On a completely unrelated note, your birthday’s August 12th, right?”

Dream playfully rolled his eyes, nudging you with his foot. He busied himself with the strings of his hoodie, fake-ignoring you. Looking up at you, you raised your eyebrows. Well? Your partner huffed and cracked a smile. “Yes, my birthday’s August 12th.”

You hummed, nodding a little and typing some stuff into your phone. “Huh.”

Dream looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed. “What?” You looked up from your phone with the smallest, fond smile on your face. When you didn’t answer, he tried again. “What? What are you huh-ing about?”

Your smile grew a little as you started to speak. “It says that me and Leos get along great.”

“Oh my god-”

“You know what that means?” you asked, cheeks dusting pink.

The boy sitting across from you snickered a little, short puffs of air leaving his nose. “No, what does it mean?” he replied, deciding to humor you.

“Our love was written in the stars!” you exclaimed dramatically, flopping over onto his legs. “It was meant to be.” You beamed up at him, clasping your hands together.

Dream sat up, brushing a stray hair behind your ear. The smile that curved his lips was real this time, not playful or mocking or amused. It was warm and fond and home. “It sure was.”

But for some reason You’re not here And I refuse to believe That means something

You’d been there for hours, waiting. He said he’d meet you at the bench - your bench. He said he’d meet you and you’d go for a walk and watch the sunset like you’d been planning. You had your little picnic blanket and your backpack and your dinner all packed up, probably no longer warm. You’d been ready, giddy all day, excited to watch the sunset with your one love and look at the stars and make up stupid, fake constellations and laugh at each other’s antics. You’d brought the little flower you’d made out of a piece of scrap paper too while wandering around aimlessly earlier, another little paper craft for his collection. You’d been excited. So excited that you couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the dark feeling in the pit of your stomach; the feeling that something was wrong.

You refused to leave the bench, even as the breeze picked up and the sun neared the horizon. Sure, it wasn’t like Dream to be so late without giving you some sort of heads up, but maybe he was just this one time. Maybe he got caught up doing business with someone and he’d forgotten to shoot you a message. Maybe he forgot something and he had to run back home and grab it. Maybe he got stuck setting up one of his Classic Dream Surprises and had lost track of time. Maybe-

Many of your friends passed you on the path near your bench, gazing at you sympathetically but not stopping to talk. No one had the heart to break the news to you. Niki and Ranboo had lingered on the path for a little bit, whispering back and forth, debating whether or not they should check up on you. They eventually decided against it and went to go get Phil.

You bounced your leg and clutched the blanket a little tighter. It’ll be fine, he’s just running late.

I felt the way that you hugged me When I was broken inside And that has to mean something

He was gone. Wilbur was dead.

Your ears were ringing. The news had been on loop in your head since you’d received it. He’s gone, Y/N. He’s gone.

You and Wilbur had been relatively close - one could even go as far as to say that he was one of your best friends. Although you loved him dearly, you couldn’t say that you didn’t see it coming. Unfortunately, that didn’t dull that shock that came with the news. Dream had been out on business when you’d heard, and you’d been laid up in bed ever since. You refused to look in the mirror, already well aware of how rough you probably looked. Your eyes were swollen and red from crying, and you’d been wearing the same big hoodie all day. For the past two hours you’d been doing nothing but staring up at the ceiling, replaying every little moment you could remember from your friendship in your head. It hurt. Everything hurt.

You hadn’t heard when the front door opened. Or when Dream called out into the eerily quiet house, announcing that he was home. Or even the steps of your boyfriend approaching from down the hall. He opened the door, confused to see you in bed, puffy-eyed and motionless. You sat up in bed when you noticed a blur of green standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

The two of you stared at one another for a moment, the tension nearly palpable. Dream’s eyebrows were furrowed in confusion as he stared at you in a vain effort to assess the situation, neither of you breathing. He blinked and your bottom lip began to quiver. Concerned, he look forward and you let out a wail, tears spilling down your cheeks.

He caught you, kneeling awkwardly over you on the bed to hold you tight against his chest. “What’s wrong, baby? What happened?”

“He’s - gone,” you managed out between sobs.

“Who’s gone, honey?”

“Wil-” You hiccupped. “Wilbur’s dead.”

I felt the way that you kissed me When we got too drunk that night And that had to mean something

It was a good night; you and your boyfriend were sat around your candlelit coffee table having a celebratory drink. Celebrating what, you may ask? Well, no other occasion than Dream successful negotiating with a business partner. You couldn’t quite put your finger on why this negotiation was more important that your partner’s other successful business ventures, but his excitement was enough for you to give in.

You’d started drinking and talking around sunset. It was now nearing midnight and the two of you found yourselves dancing, slowly swaying to the tune of Dream’s humming. He lifted his chin from the top of your head, and you looked up to meet his gaze, curious. Leaning down, he rested his forehead against yours. “Can I kiss you?”

His breath fanned across your face, warming your already pink cheeks. Your lips curled in a lazy smile. He smelled like red wine and something smoky. You loved him like this, all close and vulnerable and yours.

Scrunching up your nose, you scoffed. “Can you kiss me?” you mocked playfully, leaning into him a little more. “Of course you can kiss me; we’re dating, love.”

“I just wanted to make sure,” he replied breathily, leaning down to lock your lips. Your noses brushed together, your eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. You clasped your hands behind his neck, leaning up the slightest bit on your tiptoes, and he held your elbows. The kiss was timid, but it warm and him and love and home. It was soft and sweet and comfortable. He kissed you like he was promising you the future, that everything would be okay. Like he was telling you he would always be there to take care of you.

When you pulled away, he moved to cup your cheeks, keeping your foreheads pressed together. For a good, long while, the two of you stayed standing like that, just swaying and smiling at each other.

But for some reason You’re not here And I refuse to believe That means something

You’d curled up on the bench by now, knees pulled up to your chest and wrapped in your picnic blanket. He’s coming, you assured yourself, chin tucked into your hoodie. The sun had long since dipped below the horizon and you’d resorted to tapping your foot against the wood of the bench in the awkward position. You didn’t bother checking your clock; you didn’t want to know how long you’d been waiting anymore. You just wanted to sit there and wait until your boyfriend showed up.

The paper flower you’d so carefully made for him had been cupped between your palms for hours now, probably sweaty and wilted. You’d thought about setting it down - but what if it blew away? What if you accidentally lost it?

You lost yourself a little staring out into the distance, trying to make out some kind of constellation in the inky darkness of the night. Sighing you slumped a little, trying not to let your paranoia get the best of you. At least you were both under the same sky. It was admittedly getting pretty chilly, but you didn’t care. You’d wait at your bench until Dream got here.

A hand gently met your shoulder, and you jumped. You smiled excitedly, relaxing. “Finally-” you started, turning to face him. Your smile dropped when, instead, you turned to be met with Phil’s sad smile. Confused and somewhat disappointed, you cocked your head. “Hi.”

“Hi, Y/N,” the older man greeted softly, moving around the bench. “Can I talk to you about something?”

Your brows furrowed once again, concerned. He seemed really serious. Scooting to one side, you patted the space beside you. “Yeah, of course. Whatever you need.”

He sighed sadly at that, taking a seat next to you on the bench. “I have some news,” he started carefully.

“News?” you echoed, sounding a little empty.

Phil inhaled deeply, sensing that you already knew that something was wrong. “Yeah, I have some news for you.”

You blinked slowly, turning to face him better. “Okay, what is it?”

“Let me start by saying however you react to this is totally okay, alright?” he began softly, watching as you nodded numbly.  “So, uhm.” He paused, wringing his hands. “Dream’s gone.”

“Yeah,” you said as if it were obvious. “He’s on his way here.”

“No, Y/N-” He paused again, trying to figure out how to word it delicately. “He’s not with us anymore.”

You scoffed in disbelief at Phil’s stubbornness. “Yes, Phil, I know. He’s away on business.”

“Y/N.” A sigh escaped his lips as he covered his mouth with his hand, now genuinely afraid of how you were processing things. “Y/N, he’s dead.” He waited for you to respond but, instead, you just blinked at him. “There was a disagreement during their meeting and things got out of hand-” Another pause. “He’s gone. I’m so sorry.”

Every time I think too much It ends up crazy I don’t know how to not think about you Every time I trust my gut I think I’m crazy ‘Cause I don’t know how to put my trust in you

It had been a few hours since you’d gotten the news, and the denial has slowly faded away. He would’ve texted you if he’d been running late. He wouldn’t have left you there for hours and hours, waiting for him on a little bench.

After the initial shock had worn off, you’d gone home to process things, and to say that things didn’t turn out pretty would be an understatement. Once you had gotten home, you went straight to your shared bedroom and made a mountain out of his clothes. Grabbing a case of beer from the fridge, you sat on the floor and stared at his stuff for a long while. You only had two bottles, knowing that drinking yourself out of feeling probably wouldn’t be the best solution right now, but you still sat there nursing your drink as the tears silently rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d been here before.

By the time you’d heard the knock at your front door, the house was a mess. Picture frames were shattered, anything that belonged to Dream or reminded you of him was scattered about, his snacks were piled up on the kitchen counters, his shoes were stacked up behind the bedroom door - the entire house was in a state of complete chaos. And there you were, wailing and dragging yourself through the mess towards the front door. You swung open the door, which bounced off of an overflowing box of trinkets Dream had collected from you, and there was Sapnap standing awkwardly on your front porch.

You were suddenly aware of how rough you looked, red nose and puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks in all of your grieving glory. You’d put on a pair of his sweats and a random hoodie he’d gifted you for one of your anniversaries, both of which were obviously too big for you. You sniffled, looking up at the man sadly.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Sapnap asked softly, wondering what exactly was and wasn’t okay to ask someone who’d just heard that their partner had passed away.

Your eyebrows knit together and something inside of you broke. You tried to choke back a sob, but it came out as a sputtering cough as a waterfall of tears poured down your face. “No,” you wailed, slumping in on yourself and grabbing fistfuls of the extra fabric of the hoodie you were wearing. Losing a little bit of your self-control, you lurked forward and threw your arms around the other, who didn’t hesitate to pull you into himself. Rubbing circles into your back, he walked you back into the house. Navigating the mess of you trying to sort out all of Dream’s things was no easy task but, eventually, he led you to your living room. 

The both of you sat down on the couch, you still hugging him and him still rubbing circles into your back. He would hold you for as long as you needed, humming a little in a vain attempt to try and make you feel better. “I know it’s hard that he’s gone now,” he started, trying not to start crying himself. “But it’ll be okay, Y/N. I’ve got you.”

Do you think it means something That I wrote another song about you?

You sang softly, kicking your legs from where you sat at the edge of the cliff you’d found. It was some coping and recovery exercise Bad had recommended - writing songs or poems or stories or whatever about things you were struggling to come to terms with. You had to admit that it had helped some. When you’d first started with the writing, you’d chosen to start writing songs because you’d seen how happy Dream had been when he used to write music. You wanted a part of that. You wanted to understand what had made him so happy.

So you gave it a shot and here you were, singing a song you’d written for him, sitting on your picnic blanket and watching as the sun set, painting the sky with oranges and pinks. It almost felt as though he were right beside you, swaying along to the tune no matter how good or bad it was. You could feel him smiling down at you from wherever the hell he was. You were okay now. You were safe and recovering and taking care of yourself. Wherever he was, you’d make sure that he knew. He means something to you.

[itsarealshitshow]

Stray Kids’ reaction to falling in love with a fan secretly

Requested by anon

Pairing: Stray Kids x reader

Warnings: None

Author: Admin Wiki 

Scenario: Each member has a secret fan account to keep up with their fans and to secretly interact with them. Eventually they make friends with a fan online who thinks they’re just another fan. However, now that the members have fallen in love with you, what will they do?

Bang Chan (Bang Chan or Bang Chris)

Chris already knew that stays knew about him having a secret twitter account. He started it as a way to stay connected with his fans and to see what they thought about recent comebacks or what concepts they want to see. But now he mainly uses it to talk to a special fan that captured his heart. You’d messaged him first wanting to become friends and mememates. At the beginning of the friendship, both of you agreed to keep your identities anonymous. However, it wasn’t too long before Chan was head over heels for you. 

To be honest his first reaction is just staring at a wall thinking about the situation he got himself into. It seems unreal that he’s fallen for a fan he’s never even seen or met in person. He’ll want to come clean about his feelings but because you guys are anonymous he thinks it’d be weird. Chan will slowly start hinting that you guys should video call or show each others photos of yourselves. Eventually when you reveal your face, he will too. 

He’s all like “let’s go on skype to see each other for the first time. It’ll make it special” and bam his face is on the screen. You were so confused and when it finally hit it was over for you. He’ll confess his feelings to you that same night and hopes that you like him too. 

i mean if chan appeared on my screen i’d piss myself and be so flustered. i would definitely say yes to him. y/n is always living the life i want 😪 

Lee Know (Lee Minho)

He’s literally only ever on his secret accounts once a month. He probably never remembers about them until Felix sends him something and is like hyung please look at this. However this one time, Minho noticed he had a DM from someone other than his members. This intrigued him and made him look at it. He quickly becomes more invested in the platform that his secret account is on. 

He’s literally only on that certain platform for you. He hasn’t seen your face but your personality and mannerisms definitely ensnared him. Which is also something his members quickly realized. Felix teases the hell out of him about the fact that he only ever checks the app to see if you sent him something. 

This also makes him realize that he likes you. Someone who he’s never seen, never met, never spoken to. It makes him question himself and his feelings for a little bit. bc to be honest with you guys talking to someone online is way different than talking to them in person. especially if you like them Without a doubt he tries to keep it secret from the members, but Chan figures it out way too fast. Chan being the absolute dad that he is, encourages Minho to confess to you. Chan’s encouraging works because Minho plans on confessing to you as soon as you know his real identity. 

Seo Changbin

He’s both the person who never goes on his secret account and the person who’s always on the app. It stays the same even when you guys start talking. He can be on it for a week straight or he won’t be on it for a month. But of course when he’s on it he’ll take the time to actually respond to your texts. You always text him theories that you’ve seen and funny memes that other stays have made. 

It’s before one of their comebacks when he’s writing songs that he realizes that he’s fallen for you. It’s something that helps inspire him during his slumps and that makes him happy to feel. He’ll keep it to himself for a long time but after his realization he’s definitely going to go on his secret account a lot more than usual. He won’t disappear for a month and will start to talk to you consistently. He can’t believe that he’s fallen for a fan. To him it seems like something that rarely happens and that he should appreciate. 

Huang Hyunjin

He definitely has like a tiktok or instagram account to see what the fans are up to. I feel like he’s really good at blending in with his account, not making it too obvious it’s him. Cause Felix or Jisung would accidentally confess their real identities. He’s the one who started to talk to you first, wondering how you felt about their recent comeback and what you think their next one would be. You’d send each other memes, crack videos and so much random shit. 

Eventually you’d be the one to ask if you could send each other photos of each other or maybe go on a video call because you’ve been talking for a while. You’re just curious and if he’s okay with it you want to see each other. He’ll send a photo of himself and be like ‘I don’t think you’ll believe that this is actually me’. So of course you’re like ‘Send a photo of yourself with Chan and the both of you with toothbrushes and teddy bears’. Something specific like that and he’s like 😐  girl I’ll just video call you. 

He already had a crush on you before seeing you, but after being on video call together he quickly realizes that he needs to tell you how he feels before someone else snatches you up. He doesn’t care that you’re a fan because in reality you’re just a regular person who idolizes him. A while after you guys started to video call more frequently and he’s certain you’re good and the one for him, he’ll confess his feelings.  

Han (Han Jisung)

He’s not as bad as Felix but seeing as they were literally born a day apart, they’re pretty much the same. He’s definitely got a secret twitter, instagram and tiktok. He’s on them as much as he can because they’re all really fun but we all know that he’s also writing songs and in the studio all the time. 

When he starts talking to you it’s both of you clowning stays. You’re all like “hii I know we haven’t talked before but I like the stuff you post so here’s something I think you’ll like.” AND NO CAP HE’S PROBABLY ALREADY FALLEN FOR YOU. You guys talk a lot after that and there’s multiple times where he’s revealed his identity and that you just sit there all confused. He’ll quickly be like “haha I’m joking.” 

Finally there’s a time where he suggests you two do a video call and you accept. But mans forgot that you’ve never seen each other and he answers your call both of you just sit and stare at the screen like 👁 👄 👁 . He’s “ahaha yeah um, hi. I’m Jisung, what’s your name.” He kinda panics about liking a fan but soon after that video call you two organize to meet. And when you finally visit him he’ll confess. 

Lee Felix (Lee Felix or Lee Yongbok)

Felix knows that we know he has a secret twitter and tiktok account. It’s so painfully obvious. Of course none of us have found it yet so maybe we’ve already unintentionally interacted with him. 

In not so new news, there’s a clown right here. When he first started his account he started talking to a select few people and quickly became friends with you. On multiple occasions he’s accidentally said things like ‘What did you think of my comeback?’ or ‘What do you think of my new hair colour?’ and send a photo of himself that hasn’t been posted yet. He quickly realizes his mistakes and covers them up by changing the sentence and posting the photo to the Stray Kids instagram. 

It takes him a long time to realize that he likes you. It’s Chan who makes him realize it by asking questions about you and seeing Felix’s reaction. Every single time Felix immediately smiles which makes Chan tell him that he should confess. This causes Felix to panic. You were a fan and he was the idol you adored. Would you be with him because you genuinely liked him? or just because he was an idol? 

He decides that he has to confess either way or else he might start drowning in his feelings. 

Kim Seungmin

He doesn’t seem like one of the members who has a secret stan account. Like Chan or Felix stole his phone and downloaded it so they could scroll on it if they didn’t have their phones. One day he gets a notification from one of the apps Chan and Felix downloaded onto his phone. Curious, he opens it and sees that it’s you sending a meme and are like “Your comments are super funny here’s a meme I think you’re gonna like.” Seugmin was like “Oh uh sorry it’s my friend who uses this account I’ll show it to him for you though.” Quickly though, Seungmin starts using the account for himself and starts to befriend you. 

It’s not until Felix accidentally looks at the texts you guys have been sending each other that he realizes just how he feels. He realizes after he gets mad at Felix and telling him it’s an invasion of privacy to just read these intimate texts. i mean it is but i’m more relaxed with people reading some of the texts that my friends and i have sent. He’ll want to confess to you pretty soon after that incident. To him it doesn’t matter if you’re a fan or not because he likes you for you. 

I.N. (Yang Jeongin)

He’s like Felix and Jisung. He’s on his secret account all the time but no one really notices because he doesn’t make references all the time. He loves being on his secret accounts and talking to fans secretly. It makes him feel closer to fans when comebacks are close. 

You direct messaged him first which is what made the friendship blossom. You two send each other memes of his members and of just random things, like shows you two watch. It takes Chan talking to Jeongin about you to make him realize how he feels about you. He gets super nervous about the fact that he likes you. This insecurity comes from the fact he feels like if he were to reveal his identity you’d like him because he’s an idol you like and not for him. He’s not going to want to confess anytime soon sadly because of his worries. 

[farfromtommy]

black and white (tom holland x singer!reader)

request: all too well part two? Maybe happy ending

a/n: this is a continuation of all too well! i left this one with kind of an open ending. not angsty like the previous fic. i really loved writing this and i’ve been thinking about making this sort of a mini series with different songs. please let me know what you think! based off of the song black and white by niall horan 

requests are open!

word count: 2,200

warnings: quick allusion to sex

masterlist  social media au masterlist  taglist form 

part 1

You walked calmly off stage wiping the few tears off your face. You kept your head down as you walked towards your dressing room to get ready to leave, moving as quickly as you could to avoid any familiar faces. With the last of your things packed, you grabbed your bag and followed your assistant  out of the building. Right as you rounded a corner you heard chatter and Tom’s voice right ahead of you. He spotted you immediately and said ‘if you’ll excuse me for just one second’ before walking towards you. 

“Hey, Y/N. It’s uh.. It’s really good to see you.” Tom mumbled quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. Your assistant looked at you questioningly. “I’ll be out in a minute, just have the car pull around.” You said to her and she walked off. 

“Yeah it’s good to see you, too.” You rubbed the side of your arm and met his gaze. “They didn’t tell me who was going to be on the show tonight. I probably wouldn’t have put us in this position if I would’ve known you were here with everyone.”  You told him truthfully. Regardless of how things ended for you and Tom, the last thing you wanted to do was put him in an uncomfortable situation. 

He had an unreadable expression on his face. It was uncommon for you to be unable to know what Tom was feeling, it had become a sort of superpower of yours. 

“It was an amazing performance, I’m glad I was able to see it. You know I always loved watching you perform.” He said, gesturing his hand to the entrance to the stage. He was nervous, you knew it. You saw movement from behind him and saw your manager waving you to hurry up the conversation. 

“T-Thank you. Uh, look. I need to go. Tonight is the last show on tour at O2 and I need to get to rehearsals.  Um. If you want to go, I’ll have my assistant put you on the guest list. Bring whomever you’d like, there won’t be a guest limit. We can talk more after the show, if you’d like.” You moved to start walking towards the door, nodding towards your assistant. 

“Yeah, I’d really enjoy that. I’ll be there.” He said, saying his goodbyes as you said yours and he watched you jog off. You looked over your shoulder as you walked out the door and saw him still staring at you. 

~~ 

Tom walked into the VIP section, nerves radiating off of him. He was recognized by a few other celebrities there and by the fans sitting close by. Flashes started going off in the stands and screams were heard as he looked around and waved. He was wearing a lanyard with your new album cover and ‘special guest’ written along the bottom. 

He greeted the handful of people he knew and took a few pictures as well. He ran into a few of your friends who seemed shocked and a bit skeptical to see him, knowing the history. He shot them a tightlipped smile and a polite nod before grabbing a beer and heading to a spot where you could see him from the stage.

He had been in this spot like this many, many times before. Him and Harrison had often gone to your shows as special guests for support. This was the opening night of you opening for Harry Styles. He did his first musical feature on your latest album and you had been really good friends for a while, so it made sense to have you open for him. It was a dream of yours to perform in O2 stadium alongside an amazing artist like him. He knew one day it’d be your name in big letters all over the stadium. 

The lights dimmed and the thousands of people screamed as they heard the beat to one of your songs. You walked out with a huge grin on your face and started singing the lyrics. All the fans joined in and even Tom caught himself singing along. The song ended and the screams of the crowd made Tom’s whole body vibrate. He looked around and saw the pure joy spread across the faces of the fans at the mere sight of you. 

“London, how are we doing tonight?!” You screamed into the mic and pointed it towards the crowd. 

“I’m so overwhelmed with joy, excitement, and a little bit of nervousness to be here tonight. This is the biggest crowd I think I have ever performed in front of. Everyone give yourselves a round of applause for selling out all 20,000 seats!” You giggled into the mic as the crowd continued to go crazy. 

“I just want to give a quick shoutout to my amazing friend for allowing me to join him on tour this year. Travelling the world with such an amazing group of people has been the adventure of a lifetime and I’m so grateful to have been a part of this. Let’s give it up for Harry Styles!” The crowd went nuts at the mention of the headliner and Tom politely clapped and cheered. 

One of Tom’s favorite things in the world was watching you perform. He loved the energy that came out of every pore in your body, and the crowd loved it too. His favorite moments were hearing the crowd singing along to your songs and watching your reactions to it. Your time on stage seemed to go so quick. He hadn’t realized it was almost time for you to wrap up your set. 

“I’m having a blast with you all tonight, but unfortunately our time together is coming to a close. I have a few more songs for you tonight. I wrote this next one a few years ago, kind of as a personal message for me and someone really special to me and I never recorded it and only performed it for one person.” You paused, grabbing your favorite guitar and clearing your throat. 

“This song means a lot to me, personally. I performed on the Graham Norton show today and while I was there, something reminded me of it and I had to dig it up so I could share it with you all tonight.” You looked around the VIP section until your eyes landed on Tom. His heart sped up as you shot him a smile and he sent you a small wave. 

That first night we were standing at your door Fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you Ask me if I want to come inside 'Cause we didn't want to end the night Then you took my hand, and I followed you

He remembers the lyrics to this song vaguely. You wrote this song for him. You would spend hours with your guitar on the couch humming along to lyrics you came up with. You had performed it for him once, when you finished it. He remembers the smile on your face as you sang to him and the blush that spread across your cheeks as he got emotional listening to you sing. 

Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

This is the song I’m dedicating to you on my album. We’re gonna tell the whole world about us, Tommy. I want everyone to know how much I love you. This is how I want to do it, is what you told him when you set your guitar down after you finished singing the song. He told you he was finally ready to tell the world about your relationship. It had been over a year already, and he was getting tired of sneaking around. He was ready to show you off to everyone. 

Now, we're sitting here in your living room Telling stories while we share a drink or two And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind We're 65 and you ask "When did I first know?" I always knew

You always knew Tom was it for you. Even after the breakup, you knew you’d never love anyone the way you love him. Even after meeting Harry and falling into his arms and into his bed, you both were aware of the deep love you still had for Tom. You thanked him for those intimate moments you had with each other and swore it never had to come up again. He stuck by your side and helped you heal from the heartbreak. The friendships you developed with him and his band were the reason you managed to stay afloat and allowed yourself to enjoy life again. 

Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

The fans could sense the emotion through your words and stayed silent as your voice filled every corner of the arena. Flashlights were out and hands were in the air as they moved in sync with the people around them. Tom could feel the eyes of your friends burning into his skin as he kept his eyes glued to you. All he wanted to do was jump on stage and tell you everything he wished he could’ve told you after you ran out of his house. He reached out to you handfuls of times after the breakup, wanting to apologize to you and to try and fix what he had broken. 

I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes

Your silence spoke volumes to him. You never returned any of his texts or his calls. The only thing he had heard from you was a message that had been passed onto him by a mutual friend. Y/N said she needs to find out who she is without you. She said that maybe one day your paths will cross again and maybe take another shot at it, but for now she wants to be alone and hopes you understand why. She also wanted me to tell you that she’s never going to stop loving you and if you find someone who makes you happy, she hopes you’ll love them the way you did her. I’m sorry, Tom. I wish I could’ve passed along a better message. Take care of yourself.  

I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night There'll never be another I promise that I'll love ya

Your eyes scanned the crowd and you watched them as they felt every word of what you were singing. You continued your scan to the VIP area and smiled as you saw your friends and they blew kisses to you. Tom’s gaze never broke even as you met his eyes. He felt the emotion bubbling in his gut as he continued to listen and watch you. Your eyes never left his as you kept singing. 

I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See me standing in my dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

He mouthed the words with you as you sang them so powerfully. He let a few tears fall and wiped them away. Your voice wavered a bit as you started to get emotional as well and the crowd heard the slight dip in your voice. Some fans followed your gaze that landed on Tom and went crazy as they saw him in a similar state as you. A few noticed him mouthing the words to the song you had said you only performed for one person. You smirked as you watched the handful of fans put the pieces together and whisper to the people around them. You winked at Tom and he blew you a kiss. 

There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Hello!! I like your hc so much! So i was wondering can i request the rfa+v, and saeran with an mc who is really insecure with her body so she starve herself on accident? If you’re not comfortable than you don’t have to!! Thank you tho :)

Hey there! Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoy them😊I hope it’s okay but I mainly left out the eating part/made it brief. I’m really sorry, it’s just a bit of a delicate topic for me to write about but I really hope it’s still okay for you.

Just a reminder that it’s okay to feel insecure, but remember that you are not defined by your insecurities. I also don’t believe that there is one definition of beautiful, nor do I believe that thinking you are beautiful is vain or arrogant. Please be kind to yourselves, and if you are going through a rough patch with your body image or self-love, then I sincerely hope this can be a comfort for you and, if you can, I encourage you to reach out to someone or talk to a professional. My DMs are always open, if you ever need a chat or to rant then I’m here to listen. You are welcome and loved here💛

***

RFA with an insecure MC

Zen:

❤︎ now, if you’ve done his route, then you know that this man understands

❤︎ and we also know that his looks are very important to him, so he completely acknowledges your feelings and in no way invalidates them

❤︎ but that being said, this man worships your body

❤︎ if you guys weren’t together he would be the best wing man because he LOVES to praise you and lift you up, even if you aren’t feeling particularly insecure

❤︎ you got a new outfit? “YES GIRL YOU WORK IT” you do your makeup different? “YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND ARTISTIC YES” you’re in your sweats and your hair’s a mess you feel totally gross? “THAT’S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE WOW YOU ARE GLORIOUS”

❤︎ he’s very vocal about his love for you and his love for your body

❤︎ sometimes it can be a bit embarrassing and usually comments on your appearance can make you feel uncomfortable/self-conscious, but for some reason when he does it it gives you a lil confidence boost <3

❤︎ we’re no stranger to the fact that he is hot as fuck

❤︎ honestly makes a little mad like who gave you the audacity to look like that hMMM?

❤︎ so when you first started going out, your confidence plummeted

❤︎ and it didn’t help that, whilst the majority of his fans loved you and loved the relationship, there were a few that really got to you

❤︎ they would post some not very nice comments about you on the forum

❤︎ they were just jealous fanatics, but you didn’t know that and took what they said to heart

❤︎ you started working out a lot after that, probably a bit too much

❤︎ Zen picked up on this, and he was all for exercising with you but bbygirl you’re over doing it and you really don’t seem to be enjoying it

❤︎ so he decides to teach you how to dance!!!!

❤︎ that way, you still get the endorphins from exercise, but you also learn a great skill which gives you loads of confidence because guess what!!! you’re a natural and you look gorgeous when you dance!!!!

❤︎ teaches you that working out doesn’t necessarily need to be done for aesthetic purposes, and you can have loads of fun with your boo whilst you do it!

Yoosung:

★ bit like Zen, he kinda understands how you feel

★ he often expressed it in the chatroom that he was jealous of Zen’s looks, so I think this boy is also a little insecure

★ poor lil chicken nugget you’re beautiful too

★ but when you chose him over Zen?? oh boy the confidence boost

★ it was then that he got to appreciate that his looks didn’t mean everything, and he was grateful that he got to learn that from you

★ so when he found out you were insecure, it made him sad because??? you’re literally perfect????

★ he noticed that you were always second guessing yourself

★ you would always try on and so many outfits/do your hair over and over until giving up and throwing on whatever, but you always looked so defeated

★ he made a note from then on to always show you off to his friends like yeah bitch this is my hot ass girlfriend who also happens to be the most amazing person on earth what about it?

★ his social media is flooded with candid photos of you and the captions were always about how beautiful you were and how lucky he was to have you

★ however, he was still a little suspicious about your insecurities

★ when you were together and he asked if you want to grab something to eat, you had always “already eaten”, which started to seem unlikely especially in some situations

★ so whenever you came over, he would cook you SUPER delicious food

★ this boy is a cooking GOD

★ he also tried to make sure they were fairly healthy and balanced meals so you wouldn’t feel guilty about eating

★ little by little, your relationship with food became healthier once you discovered how good it could be when you cook properly

★ but also insecurities and bad eating habits don’t go away over night

★ so he always leaves post-it notes around reminding you to eat and take care of yourself, and also one’s that tell you how much he cares and loves everything about you

★ he’s so damn cute somebody hold me

Jaehee:

☞ GIRL SAME

☞ i know i’m repeating myself but this lady gets you

☞ we know that when she started working for Jumin, he made her cut her hair and wear fake glasses, and even though she looked HOT AS HELL (yes baehee work it) she just felt wrong and uncomfortable about her appearance

☞ so she could pick up on the fact that you were insecure from the get go

☞ she noticed how you would shy away from pictures, and you always wore clothes that would hide your body

☞ well that just won’t do

☞ something must be done

☞ you wILL FEEL THE LOVE MC YOU WILL

☞ organises a shopping trip for you to try on some hella cool outfits

☞ invites Zen along because, as stated above, he is very vocal with his praise and is just really good at hyping you up

☞ pretty sure everyone in the shop hates you because Jaehee and Zen do not hold back whenever you come out of the changing room lmao

☞ you may have been kicked out of one shop but let’s not worry about that

☞ you came home with some pretty fire outfits that were really flattering on you and just made you feel great ya know?

☞ Jaehee is usually pretty shy when asking you personal questions

☞ but she wants to help you, so one night over dinner she manages to get you to open up to her

☞ and man Jaehee is a good listener

☞ as a woman, i feel like she is able to understand where you’re coming from more than any of the others, so you’re in good hands :)

Jumin:

♚ this man…

♚ he just doesn’t get it i’m so sorry

♚ it’s not that he doesn’t care about your insecurities or thinks you are ridiculous for feeling that way, not at all actually

♚ looks were just never something he really thought about it in general

♚ he knew he was ‘good-looking’ and he knew what was considered ‘good-looking’, he just never cared about it much

♚ at first he was just like??? but you’re literally MC??? what is there to be insecure about???

♚ you had done pretty well at hiding your insecurities at the beginning of your relationship

♚ which was helped by the fact that Jumin would never assume that you had anything to dislike about yourself, so he never looked out for/noticed the signs

♚ it took a whole year guys damn

♚ it had been a year since you got together, so he wanted to take you out for a lovely meal

♚ but he also bought you a beautiful dress

♚ haha…

♚ this was where it went tits up lmao

♚ you were so grateful for it, it was a really stunning dress and you were actually pretty excited to try it on

♚ and so was he hehehe

♚ but when you came out of the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror, he noticed that your eyes were welling up and boi your face did not look happy

♚ Jumin’s like: ??????

♚ Jumin.exe has stopped working

♚ instantly takes you in his arms, shushing and cooing you as he rubbed your back

♚ “My love, what is it?”

♚ after a few sniffles, you knew you just had be honest with him

♚ “I’m sorry, Jumin. It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen but I just ruin it…it belongs on someone else, not on me.”

♚ holds you so much tighter and even starts to feel tears prick his own eyes

♚ he takes a different approach to compliments

♚ he finds a way to compliment your appearance without sounding superficial or fake

♚ instead of “you’re beautiful”, he goes for “your smile lights up the room” or “you carry so much warmth and kindness in your eyes”

♚ it’s his way of letting you know that he thinks you’re the most gorgeous thing to walk the planet, but while also telling you that you are so much more than what you look like

Saeyoung:

☀︎ hoo hoo boiiiiii

☀︎ i’m just gonna cut to the chase

☀︎ he found out during some ~sexy times~

☀︎ i’m not going into graphic detail it’s not that kind of post ;)

☀︎ things were getting hella heated like damn

☀︎ so he started to ya know like…unbutton your shirt

☀︎ why am i actually getting embarrassed while writing this i need to get a grip

☀︎ spot the virgin lmfao

☀︎ but then you stopped him and he’s like P A N I C

☀︎ terrified that he crossed a line bby chill for a sec

☀︎ but then you ask if you could turn off the light and he starts to suspect that you don’t want him to see your body

☀︎ he’s so gentle about the topic it’s very sweet

☀︎ he wants you to know that he loves every fibre of your being, but he also doesn’t want to push you if you’re uncomfortable

☀︎ “MC, I adore every part of you, including your body. If you want me to turn off the light I absolutely will, but if you let me, I want to show you just how much you mean to me.”

☀︎ you hesitated, but eventually agreed to leave the light on

☀︎ and JESUS CHRIST HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT

☀︎ Saeyoung has an incredible attention to detail, as well as patience

☀︎ and he took his sweet time with you lemme tell ya

☀︎ you’re pretty sure he kissed every inch on your body whilst also whispering his praise as he did so

☀︎ he honestly made you feel like a Goddess

☀︎ everything he said was sincere and he just treated you with so much care and love and that shit is contagious

☀︎ ever since then, he was more physically affectionate with you until eventually you didn’t even think twice when undressing in front of him

☀︎ hello yes i would like to order one Saeyoung pls thank you

☀︎ actual love of my life

V / Jihyun:

❁ he asked you to be his model for one of his paintings

❁ and you were like ummmm……okay maybe it won’t be too bad????

❁ but this man has no chill

❁ he wanted you to be semi-nude and you were like h e l l  n o

❁ he was also Confused™

❁ you tried to make up some excuse but it was hopeless

❁ so you just told him that being nude in front of him was already difficult for you, but for you body to be on display for others to see was just too much

❁ this sweet man

❁ his heart broke

❁ it hurt him so much to know that someone with such a kind soul ever doubted her worth, especially because of something like your looks

❁ you were absolutely stunning to him, but he wanted you to believe that yourself

❁ he made a deal with you that if you modelled for him and were still uncomfortable with the outcome, then it would only ever be seen by you two

❁ you reluctantly agreed, and he made it his mission to make you see yourself through his eyes

❁ it took him a while to complete, but when he did oh man

❁ you full on started sobbing

❁ OH SHIT HE MADE MC CRY PANIC PANIC

❁ someone help this man

❁ you managed to tell him that you weren’t crying because you were upset, but because you never thought that you would ever see yourself as beautiful

❁ but the way he painted you GOOD G R I E F

❁ he made you look ethereal, and you couldn’t believe that this was how he saw you

❁ you didn’t even focus on the parts of you that you would usually hate because he made them look so heavenly and like,,,they belonged there???

❁ “Jihyun, you made me look so lovely.”

❁ “No, my love, that’s just what I saw. Everything you see here is you, nothing else.”

❁ okay great he made you cry even more goOD jOb jIhYuN

Saeran:

☽ ha ha ha ha ha

☽ you thought Jumin was bad?? oh i am so sorry my guy

☽ he just has no clue

☽ “What do you mean? Why do you care about how you look? You’re not ugly or anything.”

☽ gee thank you Saeran

☽ but also you are not helping in the slightest

☽ he’s REALLY not good at expressing his affection okay pls give him a break

☽ but he’s not heartless come on now

☽ it took him a while to fully understand where you were coming from, and even then he struggled to find a way to help

☽ Saeran is a very quiet supporter

☽ it’s hard to spot to the naked eye, but you know when Saeran cares for you because you feel it

☽ the first thing he notices is your body language

☽ and since he doesn’t really know what to do, he kinda just...adjusts you

☽ for example, if he sees that your body language is very closed off, almost like your trying to hide your body, he’ll silently move your shoulders and fix your posture so you are more open

☽ and if he sees you bow your head or try to block your face, he’ll silently lift your chin up

☽ but the most important part is that when he does this, he always smiles at you

☽ now Saeran is very careful with expressing his emotions. so when he does show his feelings, you know he means it

☽ so you started to hold yourself with more certainty and confidence, because it made him smile to see you not hiding away

☽ ‘fake it til you make it’ is a very real thing, and eventually it became natural to embrace every part of you

☽ when he became more comfortable, he told you that he was proud of how far you’d come and how he loved to see you feel good in your own skin

***

Thank you anon for the request, I hope you’re doing okay. Once again, anyone is welcome to message me if you’re struggling and need a friend to talk to <3 x

[hemmingslftv]

wildflower 🌸 calum hood (chapter 1)

Words: 4k

Warning: smut, oral sex, unprotected sex, drinking

Author’s Note: I wrote this a while ago as a prequel to a fanfic but I don’t know if I will ever write the actual thing so here it is. I will write mostly in the second person (using y/n) but this was already written this way. This is my first time posting so please let me know what you think! Feedback is appreciated. Also, my requests are open. Enjoy!

It was almost midnight already. Lesley and Julia were supposed to meet their friends at the club about 15 minutes ago.

- I can't believe we're late again - Lesley said getting out of the uber after thanking the driver. - Me neither! I hope they don't get mad. I don't wanna start the night with an argument. - No, they won't. - How do you know that? - Julia asked while they walked quickly trying to get there as soon as possible. - Karen just texted saying she'll be here in ten, so we're not the only ones late. And they can't get mad to all three of us - Lesley placed her phone on the front pocket of her leather skirt and adjusted the white top she was wearing. - I know I already told you, but you look stunning tonight Lesy. - Thanks, Jules. - Promise me you're gonna try to have fun and please promise you're gonna stop overthinking. Just for tonight. - Okay, okay, I promise - They arrived at the club, their friends already standing by the front door. After waiting for Karen, they got in. - Are you all drinking tonight? - Lesley asked, raising her voice as they came closer to the bar - cause I definitely am - All of the girls nodded in response. - Okay then, I'll be the one controlling all of you tonight - Julia said receiving a few "thanks" from her friends.

Two weeks ago, Brandon had broken up with Lesley, after a 2 years relationship, by phone call. He hadn't even bothered to give her an explanation, arguing he didn't owe her anything. She had spent the last fifteen days crying and not wanting to get out of the house. After a lot of fighting, Julia, her flatmate, had convinced her to go out with all their friends, just a girls' night, without worrying about boys at all. Lesley had agreed just so she would stop listening to Julia begging day after day. About three hours later, all the girls were on the dance floor, enjoying themselves and having a good time, Julia included. She had started drinking an hour before, giving up to the girls asking her to do so. That meant that now there wasn't anyone to control the situation, but it felt right to all of them.

Lesley was feeling great for the first time in a while, and she decided she hadn't drunk enough, although anyone else could disagree on that. She walked back to the bar and waited for the bartender to notice her while she checked her phone. - Hello, what would you like? - a girl asked a moment later behind the counter. - A tequila please - she answered and reached for her purse realizing she hadn't actually brought one and her wallet was in Julia's - fuck - she muttered to herself and turned trying to find her friends, but they were nowhere to be found. She sighed trying to decide what to do but she couldn't really think straight at that moment. - Do you mind if I pay for it? - she heard a deep voice asking right behind her. When she turned, she couldn't believe who was talking to her. She just stared at him, getting lost in his brown eyes. - Um, I guess I don't - she answered, trying to clear her head. He smiled and paid for her tequila. - Someone has had a lot to drink tonight? - He asked taking the drink from the counter and handing it to her. - Maybe, but I don't think I've had enough - she took the glass from his hand drinking it all in one gulp. - Take it easy babe, are you here by yourself? - he asked placing one hand on her back just to make sure she didn't fall. Listening to the pet name gave Lesley goosebumps but she decided not to think too much about it. - No, I'm with some friends. I just don't know where they went - she tried to find them again but failed and returned her look to the handsome guy in front of her - I'm Lesley by the way. - Calum - he said with a smirk on his face - but by how you're looking at me I guess you already knew that - Lesley nodded, not knowing what to say next. - Are you gonna keep your hand there for much longer? I think I can stand by myself - she finally spoke. - Oh, well, I thought you didn't mind - Calum said putting his hand back on his pocket. - I actually liked it - Lesley wasn't always so honest but the drinks she had had were the ones speaking for her. She grabbed his hand and put in on its previous position - I was just wondering what your plan was. - I think it depends on what your plan is, honey - he said getting a little bit closer to her. - You're gonna have to stop with the pet names or else I'm gonna have to kiss you - the alcohol was speaking for Lesley once again but she didn't mind. Calum laughed softly while he came even closer to whisper on her ear. - Why don't we get out of here first? - he suggested and pulled away. Lesley weighed her options before deciding that there wasn't any reason why she couldn't have a bit of fun and leave with Calum. - Sure, let me just text my friends - she picked her phone and informed her friends she wasn't going to stay any longer. - I should go tell mine too, but I don't want to lose you in the crowd. Come with me? - he asked taking her hand. She smiled and they started walking to where his friends were - okay wait here, it'll be just a second.

Calum made his way to the couch where the rest of the band and their partners were. He knew they weren't going to like the idea of him going to a random girl's apartment, but he didn't really care, he was mature enough to decide for himself. - Where are the drinks? - Michael asked as he saw Calum returning empty-handed. - You're gonna have to get them yourselves. I'm leaving - he said while taking his coat. - What? Where? - Luke asked confused. - I met a girl, I'm leaving with her - he answered quickly, not wanting to give them too many details. - Well, that's new from you. But you know there's a reason why we don't do that - Ashton said. - Yes, because y'all have girlfriends you can spend your night with. - Cal, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that it's not really smart to go hooking up with strangers nowadays. - Yeah, I know Ash. It's just, I need this tonight. You know me, it's just once, I promise. Plus, she seems nice, nothing is gonna happen. Trust me. - Well, okay, have fun, just don't let it get too crazy, and remember we have that interview tomorrow evening - Ashton gave in. Calum said his goodbyes and walked back to Lesley, who was standing in the same position. - Ready to go? - she asked as he approached her. He nodded and held her hand again, leading her out of the club.

- God, it's freezing - Lesley complained once they were on the street. - Here - Calum placed his coat over her shoulders and she smiled in return - do you live nearby? - Well, it's a fifteen minutes walk. But if you don't mind I'd prefer to go by foot just so I can sober up a little bit - Calum chuckled and agreed while he placed his arm around her shoulders. - Lead the way - he said. They started walking down the street in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, in fact, they both felt really comfortable with each other. - So, do you usually drink this much? - Calum asked breaking the silence. - Not really. I was just in the mood, but I don't even go out that often. At least I didn't. I had a lot of fun tonight, I could get used to this. - So not much of a partier? I thought I hadn't seen you around before. - Do you go to that club often? - Yeah, almost every weekend, I do like to party. So, what was the occasion? - Oh, uhm, my boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago and my friends forced me to go out and try to forget about him. And it worked out, to be honest - she said looking up at him and biting her lower lip. - I'm sorry to hear that - he said. They continued their way to her apartment, arriving not much later. - Here we are - Lesley took her keys out of her top to open the door. - Oh, that's a great place to hide your keys - Calum said making Lesley blush. - It's the only place where I know I'm not going to lose them - she answered. They both got in and took their shoes off - I'm gonna go drink a glass of water, do you want some? - No, thanks, I'm fine - Calum answered. - Okay, you can wait in the living room if you want to.

Lesley got to the kitchen, drank a bit of water, and tried to get sober. She could still feel the alcohol running through her system and she wanted to remember what could happen next. After taking a few deep breaths she returned to the living room. - You said you knew who I was, are you a fan of the band? - Calum asked as Lesley got into the room and sat on the couch next to him. - Not really. I mean, I like a few of your songs but I haven't listened to your albums like properly, just what sounds on the radio. But my flatmate is, that's why I knew you. - Oh, cool - Calum said turning to face her and put his left hand on her right thigh - is that okay? - he asked. She nodded, afraid that any sound of pleasure would come out of her mouth if she spoke. His touch was so warm it made Lesley feel butterflies all over her body, but she didn't want to make it so obvious - you told me you just broke up with your boyfriend, I assume you aren't looking for anything serious right now? - Definitely not - Lesley answered. - That's great because I couldn't offer you that. But I think I can help you forget your ex, at least for tonight. - Can you? - Lesley asked biting her lower lip and giving him an innocent look. - Just if you want me to. - I do - she said, biting her lip a third time. Calum groaned. - I love it when you do that, it makes your lips so kissable. - Kiss them then - Lesley got closer but stopped as she started to feel his breath waiting for Calum to close the gap between them, which he did shortly after. It was a sweet kiss, and Calum started to rub circles with his thumb on her thigh. She put her hands on the back of his head and passed her right leg over his so she was sitting on top of him. She could already feel his length growing behind her and she started to get that wet feeling as she moved her hips trying to get some friction.

Her tongue left her mouth asking for permission and Calum opened his lips letting her in. The kiss deepened as he placed his hands on her waist. - You're already making me feel so damn good - Calum said pushing Lesley down gently as he moved his hips up making her moan quietly. He started kissing her neck and she tilted her head giving him more space to work with. He sucked in harder and Lesley knew it was gonna be visible the next day but she couldn't care less. His hands went from her waist to the back pockets of her skirt making her jump a little. - Where's your bedroom honey? - Lesley whimpered as she heard the raspy voice now coming from Calum's mouth. - On your left - she said. He stood up holding her on his waist as she wrapped her legs around him. She played with the curls at the back of his head while he took her to the bedroom and placed her softly on the bed. He kissed her deeply and continued to give her wet kisses on her neck quickly going down to her breasts. She leaned forward a little bit just so he could remove her top. He widened his eyes when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra underneath and Lesley giggled. Calum put one of her breasts on his mouth while he played with her other nipple, making her back arch. Once he was done with one, he switched to the other. Her hands reached for the hem of his shirt and she started to unbutton it slowly while she placed her hands under the shirt tracing her fingers all over his abs and a bit under his jeans. - I see you're a teaser - he said smiling. - No, I just enjoy doing things nice and slow - she replied.

Once she had unbuttoned the whole shirt, he leaned back and took it off. She stared at his tattoos, analyzing them one by one, she loved them. In fact, she had been wanting to get a tattoo for a while but she didn't because she knew Brandon hated them. - Do you like what you see? - Calum asked ripping Lesley out of her thoughts. - Quite a lot - she answered honestly and bit her lip once again. - God stop doing that, it drives me crazy - Calum said pulling her up to kiss her. He took her skirt off and groaned when he saw she wasn't wearing panties either. - You just hate underwear, don't you? - he asked, making Lesley laugh. - I actually don't. But it is uncomfortable under tight clothing, you know? - She leaned down on her back again while he took his pants off. Lesley could clearly see his boner under his boxers and it made her wetter than she already was if it was even possible. She closed her eyes for a second and felt Calum's lips on her abdomen, making her sight. He started to lick her thighs softly and Lesley tensed as she realized what was about to happen. - Is everything alright, love? - Calum asked as he felt her body tense under him, raising his head to look at her. - Y-yes - Lesley whispered. - You don't sound too confident. We don't have to do anything you don't want to - he was going to sit up but she placed her hands on his shoulders to stop him. - No, no. I'm fine. It's just that I've never, uhm, n-no one has ever - Oh, is it your first time? It's okay. I just thought since you had a boyfriend you'd - No, it's not - Lesley cut him - I've had sex but no one has given me oral or touched me before, that's what I was trying to say - Lesley blushed and covered her face with her hands. - So he was a real asshole - he said taking her hands off her face and kissing her - there's no need to be ashamed of that, he's the only one who should be. Now, I'm going to make you feel really good if you let me - she moaned in agreement. Calum looked back down and started to kiss her thighs once again while he traced his fingers all over her body - I'm gonna make you scream my name doll, I'm gonna make you come so hard - Lesley couldn't stop a louder moan getting out of her mouth. Listening to Calum's dirty talk was driving her crazy. - It will be okay if you can just make me come - she said. - Oh, so he didn't even make you come? - He didn't even ask, he didn't care - she explained, having a difficult time breathing due to Calum's fingers going up and down her thighs. - Don't worry, I know how to treat a girl right. And you're already so wet for me - Calum said while he traced his fingers softly over her entrance. He started to rub circles with his thumb over her clit and she moaned his name softly. Then, he changed his thumb for his mouth and started licking her clit, at the beginning carefully but going quicker once she placed her hands on his head, pulling him closer. - Fuck - she said moving her hips up trying to get as much friction as possible - shit Cal - she screamed when she felt his finger slowly getting inside of her. - Do you like it? - Fuck yes Calum - she screamed pulling him by his curls. - Cute little girl, tell me what you want. Talk to me. - I want more please, I want all of you - he groaned and added a second finger making her clench around them. He started going faster making her whimper with every thrust. His pace was not too fast but it was more than enough to make Lesley forget everything else, feeling a pleasure she never had before. She started to feel a knot forming on her lower stomach and she was surprised she didn't even remember how it felt like - Oh god Cal, I think I'm going to come. - Oh, are you? Are you going to cum all over my fingers? All over my mouth? - he said getting closer to her heat - C'mon, let it go, Lesley, let it go - he licked her clit roughly sending her over the edge. She cursed as she felt the adrenaline all over her body. Calum sucked every drop of her cum softly since he knew she was probably still very sensitive.

- That was amazing - she whispered once she was finally able to speak again. - Do you think you can take more tonight? - he asked, his eyes filled with lust as he looked at her blushed face. - I do - Lesley answered sitting up and realizing Calum had already taken his boxers off. He was on his knees at the end of the bed so she did the same thing and leaned in to kiss him. She put one hand on the back of his neck and started pumping his cock with the other. She bent intending to put it on her mouth but he stopped her. - It's all about your pleasure tonight, baby girl. - But I want to repay you - she complained. - You already are repaying me, wildflower, don't worry about that - he lay down grabbing Lesley by her waist and sitting her on his lap. She moaned at the warmth of his length. - Babe, are you already wet again? - she nodded frantically and he giggled - you can't get enough, can you? - Not from you - she said leaning in to kiss him. He seized the opportunity to bring his hand down to her heat and started rubbing her clit again, making her groan while they kissed. - You're being such a good girl tonight, do you think you can ride me? - Lesley pulled away from the kiss and bit her lower lip, this time on purpose, knowing the impact it had on Calum. Instead of answering, she grabbed his length and placed it at her entrance, lining them up. She teased a little bit moving his tip around her entrance. - Lesley - he moaned giving her goosebumps - please - he begged. She started taking him in slowly until all of him was inside. They both moaned loudly in response and she stopped moving to try to adjust to the fullness she was feeling. Once she felt strong enough, she started riding him slowly, whimpering every time his pubic bone touched her clit. - You are so freaking tight god - he said leaning in to kiss her shoulder. She arched her back and tilted her head back grabbing his blonde curls. - I'm gonna move faster if that's okay - she whispered on Calum's ear making him shiver. He grabbed her waist and quickly switched their position so that he was on top of her. - You've had enough control for the night, babe. Now I'm going to make you all mine, I wanna see your face when you come screaming my name, okay? So don't look away, please. - Okay - she said almost breathless as he put one of her legs on his shoulder and pushed himself in as deep as he could. He picked up a steady pace hitting her G spot on every thrust. After a few minutes, she didn't think she could take it any longer. - I'm so close Calum - she said rolling her eyes back. - Me too, honey, me too - he grabbed her by her waist pulling her up just so he could get in even deeper. She started to moan loudly and he could feel her clenching around his length every time he got in - Lesley, fuck! - he screamed - I'm gonna - It's okay Cal, come for me, let go - her words were enough to make him reach his peak and after a few thrusts, she reached her second orgasm screaming his name on repeat. He collapsed on top of her, their chests together as they both came down from their highs.

A few moments later he moved so he was next to her and she looked at him. She couldn't help but smile and she found herself imagining what it'd be like to have him around so they could relive what had just happened. - Baby girl, you are incredible - Calum finally spoke looking at her. He kissed her forehead and stood up. She whimpered at the feeling of emptiness when he left the bed. He noticed and smiled at her - I'm just gonna go get cleaned and bring you a towel. - The bathroom is next to the kitchen - she explained, speaking for the first time as she regained her normal breathing. Calum came back with her towel a minute later and she tried to grab it but he insisted on cleaning her up, so she opened her legs letting him take care of her. She would have felt embarrassed to let any other person do that, but she felt different with Calum, she felt even more comfortable than she had ever felt with Brandon. Once Calum had finished, Lesley grabbed the towel and threw it on the laundry basket. She was confused about what to do next since he was her first one-night stand. She didn't want him to leave but she didn't feel confident enough to ask him to stay. They laid on her bed for a couple of minutes checking their phones until Calum spoke. - Do you mind if I stay the night? I'm kinda tired but I totally get it if you think it's weird. - Oh, no, not at all, maybe we could cuddle - Lesley smiled at him and Calum wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer, her back facing his chest. - I like the idea. Goodnight Lesley. - Goodnight Calum - she said closing her eyes and making herself comfortable. Calum placed a soft kiss on her cheek and closed his eyes too, falling asleep shortly after.

[you-did-well-moon]

Seventeen reaction to idol! s/o crying during an emotional performance

Type: Fluff/Angst

A/n: I don't know if you guys know just how much I love writing idol au’s. They’re always fun for me to create and imagine. I promise the next reactions will be much fluffier, I really did try to make this reaction as happy as I could. Some songs are in English while others are in Korean, but they all mean a lot to me. I asked people for songs, researched, got some from my own playlist. I totally didn’t cry looking at songs for this reaction. Thanks anon for requesting. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me or to request!!~Moon

TW : mental illness, curse words, insecurities, self-depreciating, mentions of suicide 

in this reaction it is assumed the public knows about your relationship

S.Coups

Song: Breathe - Lee Hi

“It’s alright if you run out of breath No one will blame you It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes Because anyone can do so Although comforting by saying it’s alright Are just words”

The song you were singing was made to comfort someone going through a hard time. To tell them it's okay to slow down a bit and be human. You had repeatedly told yourself you wouldn't cry during the performance, but in the end, emotion overwhelmed you. Singing the lyrics of the songs you had always wished there was someone to say those words to you. Now, you were singing them to thousands of people who had stories and scars of hurt and pain that would always follow them no much how fast they ran away.

You were proud to be able to give them comfort, and you embraced the tears with open arms knowing you were just as human as the crowd in front of you crying the same tears alongside you. With the live orchestra behind you, the back round of a star dotted sky, and your mic clutched in your hand, you raised your chin high as you felt the tears traveling down the slope of your nose.

Seungcheol wouldn't even notice he was crying, and he would not notice the cameras filming him. He wouldn't notice the crowd’s “aaw” when his distraught face showed up on the screen. He could only focus on you.  Seungcheol’s heart would sink deeper at each tear that dripped off your chin. His knee bounced with the anticipation of running to you and comforting you. When he did get to you, he took one look at your shaky hands paired with shiny eyes, and he rested his forehead against yours kissing your eyelids staying in that position until he was sure you weren't in such a sensitive state as you were on stage.

“You shouldn't cry when i’m so far away. How will I wipe your tears away then?”

Jeonghan

Song: Little Me - Little Mix

“I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful Everything she doesn't see You gotta speak up, you got to shout out And know that right here, right now You can be beautiful, wonderful Anything you want to be Little me”

This stage was a bit different than what your group was used to. You had partners in the form of 14-15 year old girls supposed to represent the younger selves of your group. All the time you had spent with your partner practicing led to the growth of a bond. Rayul had come to open up to you with some of her insecurities, and you had never failed to comfort her. You had grown fond of her. You saw yourself in her too much for you not to grow close to her. Now as you and Rayul moved as one on the stage, and you looked into her trusting eyes, you couldn't help but get emotional. 

As you cried, you hoped that no harm would come to your younger friend, but in the world you lived in, that wouldn't happen. It was the same world you grew up in, and you knew the world would to everything it could to break that little girl down. Rayul had a worried look in her eyes, but she kept dancing. At the end of the performance, you made sure to hug her tight apologizing in your head for all the hurt she would have to go through.

As Jeoghan watched you power through the performance with tears tracing lines down the contours of your face, he teared up. He was able to blink them back, but the camera caught his furrowed eyebrows and glinting eyes. Jeonghan was so used to you always being mature and competent that seeing your tears always managed to take him by surprise. Even then, Jeonghan couldn't stop the wobbly smile from slipping out at the fact that you still looked as fierce as ever on stage while crying. After the performance, he found you looking sadly at the mirror, and he back hugged you placing his chin on your shoulder. He would whisper words of praise and soft teasing into the crook of your neck

“You did as amazing as always love. Even crying through half the performance can’t stop your talent.”

Joshua

Song: I - Taeyeon

“But strong girl, you know you were born to fly Tears you’ve cried, all of the pain you’ve felt for the day you’ll fly even higher, It’s to prepare you. Butterfly, Everybody’s gonna see it soon”

You were fully prepared to cry, and you embraced the tears with open arms using them to make the performance more effective and sincere. The story of the song was one of losing and gaining. A story of a butterfly gaining enough courage and breaking free from the cocoon of pain trapping it to finally fly along the liberating expanse of the horizon. Throughout most of the performance you were dressed in oversized dark clothing until the last chorus came, and your backup dancers ripped away the somber clothing to reveal a more colorful outfit. 

As the song came to an ending, you reached your hands up to the sky when the backup dancers lifted you up, and you cried tears of happiness. Smiling brightly at the sky, you didn't mind the tears. You felt peaceful. After everything, you were still here. Still alive. Still smiling and laughing, and you weren't alone anymore. All the days on an empty stomach and all the late night dance practices weren't enough to rob you of your dreams. In the end, you were stronger and better. You were gently put down, and you smiled softly at the camera before disappearing backstage.

Joshua would have the fondest look in his eyes. Many fans would be making GIFs of the expression on his face because the moment was too sweet not to share and remember. Josh couldn't stop himself. He was just so proud. When he first met you, you were always cautious and scared of taking risks. As time progressed, trust in both yourself and what you do increased. You had come a long way, and he had been there for it all. He tried not to bring attention to himself, but he thought you deserved the standing ovation. Meeting you backstage he would smile at you as he walked towards you calling your name softly. He shrugged off his jacket wrapping it around your shoulders before tugging at the ends of it to bring you closer to him so he could place a kiss on your forehead. He would probably crack a lame joke. Or two...

“You really should be an actress babe, because you made half the stadium cry. The Oscars don't know what they're missing out on.”

Jun

Song: Home - Machine Gun Kelly X Ambassadors X Bebe Rexha

“Now tell me: how did all my dreams turn to nightmares? How did I lose it when I was right there? Now I'm so far that it feels like it's all gone to pieces Tell me why the world never fights fair I'm trying to find                                                                                                        Home A place where I can go To take this off my shoulders Someone take me home Someone take me”

This song was the result of a collaboration with Mark lee and Jackson Wang. You had all been sitting at the studio awkwardly with no ideas for songs until you bought up a common factor between the three of you. All of you were not from Korea with Jackson being from China, Mark being from Canada, and you coming from (country). Your nervous habit of spewing random facts in awkward situations ended up in your little group talking about all the homesickness and nights crying yourselves to sleep after having to say goodbye to your families. Which ultimately ended up in a song. All the memories of missing your families had to be dug up, but you were able to comfort each other through the song. The song ended up being such a hit that you guys were asked to perform it at an awards ceremony.

 You were a bit hesitant as first. Even releasing such a personal song was unnerving to you. Now you had to perform it? You had to sit yourself down and think about all the people in that audience who would find comfort in the song missing their homes or maybe still searching for one. You were able to pull through, but you hadn't been told they collected childhood pictures from all of you and were to display them on the back round set up. The song was already an emotional one, so when you turned around to a picture of yourself in your parent’s arms, you chocked up. At the end of the song the three of you met at the center of the stage, and Mark awkwardly pat your shoulder while Jackson put his arm around your shoulder tears also streaming down his face. You held the mic up to your mouth telling your parents you loved them before walking backstage with your arms on the boy’s shoulders and a peaceful smile on your face.

Jun would try hard to keep his tears at bay, but seeing his girlfriend cry while singing a song about trying to find home really did a number on him. Seeing the childhood pictures of you and the guys would make him remember his own infancy, and how much he missed his family and home some days. He tried to hide his tears from the camera by bowing his head, but he wanted to keep watching your performance. Jun never liked seeing you cry, but in that moment he understood just how much he really cared for you and how serious your relationship was. This was no normal “fling”. Seeing you backstage he would chuckle awkwardly wiping your tears away and trying to lighten up your mood.

“You send me a meme of myself crying to your song, and I won’t talk to you for three weeks. You just had to go and make an emotional song didn't you?”

Hoshi

Song: Black - Lee Hyori

“I dyed my hair to deny myself The red lipstick hid my pursed lips The thing that shook behind The colored lens It was me who didn’t want to be me”

Of course you knew what you were signing up when you decided to be an idol, but even all the years of training weren't enough to prepare you for the emotional toll it would have on you. Having to constantly put up a façade and be someone you’re not had led you astray and wandering down a path of identity confusion. You had come to rely too heavily on the dye, the contacts, the makeup, and the stage outfits. Sitting down to write this song, you were horrified at how you had been so eager to throw yourself away to appease someone who you had never met. How heavily you denied yourself in favor of “earning” the love of the industry. Someone can only take seeing a stranger in the mirror so many times.

You had sat down with your company talking about the idea for the song, and surprisingly, they agreed. Now standing on stage with millions of eyes on you, you felt free. You felt confident, like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. Your natural hair color flew along with you as you danced. Your eyes were your normal color, and the makeup on your face was natural. The stylists had even let you choose your own stage outfit. You knew the fans accepted you for the your idol self, but would they accept you for who the real you? For the first time in years, you didn't feel like a stranger to your own body and mind. That thought was what bought you over the edge, and soon, there were tears streaking down your face. 

Soonyoung would try being funny at first. When the camera came near him, he would solemnly shake his head pretending to wipe a tear away. But as your performance progressed and you started crying, his previous actions would come back to slap him in the face. Not only did he feel bad for joking around at your emotional stage, but he was now sobbing into Dokyeom’s shoulder. He was proud. You were finally putting your foot down after years of ignoring who you were under all the makeup and hair dye. After all the times he had told you the real you was just as important as who people want you to be, he was glad you had finally come to see the truth in his words. He saw you backstage looking into a mirror with worry etched all over your face. Wrapping his arms around your waist he would rest his forehead in the space between your shoulder blades trying to comfort you.

“You were absolutely perfect love. There’s no way they won’t accept you, and even if they don't what matters more is that you accept yourself”

Wonwoo

Song: Disappear - Eli 

“I've been feeling low, so low now Tryna do my best, don't know how Holding on to hope for life now But I become consumed with doubt, yeah Carrying the burdens of the world up on my shoulders Looking for the answers Maybe I'll know once I'm older”

You didn't make it to the first chorus before you broke down. You could hear you voice wavering from the mic, and you had to spend energy in stabilizing it as you danced the choreography. Tired was not enough to explain the overwhelming need to lie down and cry it out. Instead of waiting until you were backstage, you decided to let it all out as you performed. You were proud of being able to make music and make others happy, but you had forgotten how to make yourself happy. It seemed easier to disappear. If you disappeared there would be no expectations. No vile comments. No labels. No deadlines. You could be free of the burden of having to constantly seek out other’s validation. You remembered once being a hopeful girl with dreams bigger than people’s expectations.

 Now you were always shackled by doubts, and you felt weak for giving in to them. You tried your best to stand up against the voices of doubt and insecurity plaguing your mind, but instead you ended up feeding into them. You had sat yourself down multiple times asking yourself just when you held yourself to a lower standard than the voices in your head, but each time it ended in you hating yourself just a bit more. You were in a constant war with the negative thoughts circling around in your head, and you were tired of the never ending battle. As the song came to an end you let your knees give out falling to the floor as you backup dancers hid you from view of the camera, and you let out a sob that rang around the stadium.

The whole time as you performed, Wonwoo remained stone-faced. He was leaning forward elbows on his knees, and his hands grasped tightly together in front of his mouth. Although his hands did a good job of hiding his trembling lips, the camera still caught his clasped hands shaking and the turmoil swirling around in his dark eyes. Wonwoo was there with you through your good days and your bad days.  He had seen you hit rock bottom, but even with his heart shattering at each crack of your voice, he believed you were making progress. He believed you would be able to stand back up again, and he would be there for that too. When he heard your sob, he closed his eyes and winced as if it physically hurt him. Seeing you after the performance, he wouldn't say anything. He would tuck your face into his neck stroking your hair with sweet words whispered into the crown of your head.

“Just let it all out love, its alright. Don't worry about my shirt. You matter more than a piece of fabric, just let it all out. You were so brave”

Woozi

Song: Home Is Far Away - Epik High ft. Oh Hyuck

“I get more and more scared I'm running but my feet and heart forget why Dreams just become baggage now My only hope is to just leave it behind and run Rushing myself to take just one more step But when I looked up, I’m right in front of a cliff I look back and all these expectations are lined up behind me It pretends to support me but it’s pushing my back I wanted to place a comma in my heart some time”

You weren't used to doing this kind of performance. Especially at an award show. It was one of the simplest stages you've ever done. It was just you with a mic on a stage. No choreography, no props, and not even a mic stand. You supposed it made sense. You were not here to entertain. You were here to tell a story. It was not a story of finding home. It was the story of getting lost and straying away to wander a vile and cruel word. A story of not being able to find a way back and instead having to grow in a monstrous society. As you walked towards the center of the stage you straightened you gray bomber jacket paired with a white turtle neck, and you tugged at your black beanie touching the hollow of your neck to gain reassurance from your mother’s necklace. 

You made sure your clothes were as simple as possible. You wanted to appear as normal as possible. As human as possible. Staring out into the crowd, you cleared your throat and bought the mic up to your lips starting the song. You started strong, and you remained strong. Until you started one of the final verses. You were still lost. It felt like it had been so long since you left the safety of your comfort zone. You missed the person you used to be. You missed knowing who you were. You missed many things you would not know the comfort of for a long time. It started with you getting choked up. Then your vision blurred, tears hugging the corner of your eyes, and they slid down your cheek past your trembling lips to your jaw.

Jihoon had to bow his head every now and then to stop himself from getting too emotional. He would unconsciously nod his head at your lyrics relating to them. He teared up, but he wouldn't cry. His eyes would have a noticeable somber shine. He had actually been there when you were first producing the song, and he was also there when you were adding the final touches to it. He remembers with a heavy heart having to calm you down when you started worrying about whether the song was too personal and real or not. You worried you would get backlash for trying to be too personal with your fans, and he told you to stop thinking that way even helping you improve the song. Seeing you backstage, he wouldn't say much. He would stay by your side with your hand in his, and you leaning into him.

“It’s okay to cry y/n. You worked hard, and you did amazingly well”

DK

Song: Scars To Your Beautiful - Alessia Cara

“She has dreams to be an envy, so she's starving You know, covergirls eat nothing She says "beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything" "What's a little bit of hunger?" "I can go a little while longer," she fades away She don't see her perfect, she don't understand she's worth it Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface, oh, oh So to all the girls that's hurting, let me be your mirror Help you see a little bit clearer the light that shines within“

Although this performance was riddled with a deeper meaning, your outfit was still fun and colorful. With a white crop top, some ripped shorts, and some boots that went up to your knees. The most important, and difficult, part of your outfit was the pink blindfold that covered your eyes. You had to practice for weeks, and even then, some of the younger girls that would be dancing with you would help guide you across the stage when they needed to. Everything had been going fine and smoothly until the bridge of the song came on and a choir of young boys and girls sang along with you. You started tearing up, but no one could see it because of the blindfold. The song started to come to an end, and the girls led you to the center of the stage where they had set up a mirror.

 You took away the blindfold smiling brightly at yourself in the mirror. That's when the tears started slipping out no matter how much you blinked to hold them back because for once in your life, you didn't feel any repulsion at yourself looking at your reflection. You had dealt with the insecurities of almost every young girl your whole life. As if the numbers on the scale defined you, you came to starve yourself and pinch at the fat that seemingly clung to your body. It wasn't until you were an adult that you really started to come to terms with your body liking it just how it was. Smiling fondly at your reflection you bowed to the audience before walking off the stage.

Seokmin couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips at the sight of your performing. He would have a tender look etched on his face. Seokmin couldn't help but get a bit worried at you not being able to see as you danced, but a small part of him would feel prideful. Seeing your tears at the end of your performance even if you were smiling would be enough for a tear or two to slip out, but much like you, he was still smiling brightly. Being someone who was also riddled with insecurities his smile would falter a bit, but he also felt a sense of appreciation for you for having spoken about an issue many people struggled with. Seeing you after your performance, he would immediately take you into his arms joking around and laughing when you accidentally tripped on his foot almost sending both of you crashing to your ground. 

“I can't believe- how did you trip with clear vision, but you didn't trip on stage with that blindfold on huh?? Are you living in some kind up reverse world- Yah!! Don't walk away from me young lady”

Mingyu

Song: Human - Zico

“I keep lowering my head these days When did I last look up to the sky? The blurred world is filled with dust Because people like me struggled, yeah We always say, later, for the later Without my skipped birthdays I’m still in my teens As I grow old, I'm afraid of imagination A slide starts to look like a hill”

It was safe to say you were mad. Fuming. Enraged. Or as other people would call it, “acting problematic”. You were angry and tired of people constantly thinking they could define you, or that they had any say on how you should live your life. There was always something wrong with you, and you were exhausted of always having to change yourself for other’s standards on what they thought was best for you. You found yourself living a life you came to hate because other people were always telling you who should be. You came to forget the person you wanted to be. You always kept your mouth shut and your head lowered staying quiet when people tried defining who you were, but you had enough of it.

 You firmly told yourself things would get better if you just put up with it, but they never did. You put your foot down. You just wanted your life back. Now you had been invited to perform the song at an award show, and although the song was set in a melancholy song, you found yourself feeling absolutely livid. Your hands were trapped in shackles and throughout the whole performance your eyebrows were furrowed, and your face held a bitter expression. When you cried, they weren't tears of sadness. They were tears of frustration. At the end of the song you shook your shackled wrists and broke the shackles glaring at the camera before walking off the stage.

Mingyu’s lips would tug upwards when he first saw you on stage, but he would immediately purse his lips when he realized what song you were performing. He knew how much the song meant to you, especially when he had seen how much you had lost yourself in the battle between who others wanted you to be and who you wanted to be. He knew how much you had doubted yourself, and he had always tried to cheer you up, but he knew you could never be happy until you started focusing on what you wanted for yourself. Ever since you had written the song, confidence in yourself had surged and the foundation of faith in yourself and what you could do was stronger than ever. Mingyu had even given you the nickname “firecracker”. Seeing your tears and your cold eyes he would feel like his air supply was cut off because you were upset, and he wasn't there to help you. Seeing you backstage and would grasp both your hands in his and sincerely look into your eyes trying to comfort you.

“You’re free now firecracker, they can't control you anymore because you won’t let them. You've come so far, and I couldn't be prouder angel.

The8

Song: Broken - Anson Seabra 

“Am I broken? Am I flawed? Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I just another fake, fucked up lost cause? And am I human? Or am I something else? 'Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there To save me from the nightmare that I call myself”

You were horrified. Your fans and Minghao knew you would be releasing a new song. They just thought it would be one of your usual songs. A happy and bubbly song with an energetic choreo. This song was far from happy, and it would be released at the same time you were performing it, so people could be surprised instead of already knowing what to expect. This would be a water performance too, and the choreography was the first contemporary dance you would do for one of your title tracks. The dance was more anguished and solemn than any of your other choreographies.  The whole reason you were turning a new leaf was because you hadn't been feeling like yourself lately. When you were once so sure of yourself, you had begun questioning yourself.

 You felt numb. Some days you couldn't feel anything. Not the warmth of happiness in your chest. No sadness to burden your heart. No anger to cloud your mind. It was always just empty. You began to feel like someone less than human because with an empty heart and soul, what were you? You were also nervous because with how hectic your schedules had been, you didn't have a chance to tell Minghao you weren't feeling mentally well, and you knew he wouldn't be too happy finding out like this. As the performance ended, you fell to your knees grasping at your neck and breathing raggedly. You couldn't help but cry feeling helpless and acting like you were drowning before letting your body fall into the water. The stadium went dark giving you a chance to run backstage.

Minghao would shift in his seat slightly leaning forward when he noticed you were performing. His features softened slightly at first glance, but his eyebrows would furrow and his eyes would narrow when he noticed this song was vastly different than any of your previous works. He would realize the sad situation you were in that he was seemingly was too busy to take notice of. The cameras would catch the corners of his lips curled down and the shaking of his head. Although he looked pissed off on the outside, he was panicking on the inside. When he saw the tears making their way down your face and your body fall, the only thing he could think of was being there to catch you. He wouldn't hesitate to make his way backstage immediately after the lights he went out. Upon seeing you he could bring your face into the crook of his neck lowly murmuring comforting words into your ear.

“No matter how many times you fall, I'll catch you. No matter how many times you cry, I'll cry with you. No matter how many times you laugh, I'll laugh with you. I will always have your back, just let me in.”

Seungkwan

Song: She’s In The Rain - The Rose

“She’s in the rain You wanna hurt yourself I’ll stay with you You wanna make yourself go through the pain It’s better to be held than holding on No whoa“

The stage was a bit uncomfortable, but you were willing to sacrifice a bit of your comfort if it meant performing a song many needed to hear. Before going on stage, the stylists had soaked your stage outfit in water to make it look like you had been the victim of a harsh downpour making the clothes stick to your skin. They has also made your hair look like it was wet, and your makeup was a bit smudged around the edges of your eyes. You had fun with the choreography since it included an umbrella, but you were more focused on singing the song hoping you could deliver the message of the song clearly and efficiently. The making of the song was centered around making people understand it was okay to rely and confide on others. You knew how tiring it was to go through bad days without anyone to hold your hand through it.

 You believed you would come out of it stronger if you handled your demons alone, but at the end of the day it left you exhausted. You had been one of those people once. Then you met Seungkwan, and he managed to worm his loud jokester self into your heart. When he witnessed you having a break down, you fought him when he tried hugging you, but you eventually let yourself get comforted by him. It started with Seungkwan, and eventually you were letting yourself lean on people when it got particularly hard. As the song came to an end, you clutched your umbrella knowing people in that crowd were struggling. You cried unapologetically hoping they would find someone reliable to fall back on, before you covered your face with the umbrella and walking off the stage sniffling and trying to control your tears.

Seungkwan already knew what song you would be performing, and while getting his hair done, he had repeatedly told himself he wouldn't cry. All the members had rolled their eyes because everyone knew he would be bawling by the end of the night. Indeed, the minute he saw any form of sadness on your face, he himself burst into tears. He was quick to wipe them, but more always replaced them. Seungkwan really did try controlling himself, but as he thought of how much you had grown and how you were encouraging people to do the same, he couldn't handle the emotions now crashing over him like a tidal wave. Seeing you after the performance, he would whine and playfully fight with you while cradling your face.

“You know my ugly crying isn't something anyone should see. Why would you make me that emotional. I can't believe I just cried in front of thousands of people- are you laughing at me right now?!”

Vernon

Song: You Don't Know What It’s like - Katelyn Tarver

“Let me just stop trying Let me just stop fighting I don't want your good advice Or reasons why I'm alright You don't know what it's like You don't know what it's like Don't look at me like that Just like you understand Don't try to pull me back” 

At first you had strongly opposed the stylists wanting you to go on stage practically bare faced. If you went on that stage with little to no makeup, people would be able to see how much color your face had lost and the dark bags currently residing under your eyes. Sitting in front of the mirror, you jokingly thought you looked like a zombie. Thinking about it more seriously, you realized just how miserable you looked. You eventually ended up agreeing with the stylists, because you had a message to give. You were so tired of people telling you it was just a phase whenever you were upset. Sometimes you wanted to be not okay, and you wanted to let it all out so could return to your usual self eventually.

 People always seemed to catch you at your worst moments, and they always wanted to sit you down and force you out of your upset stage. Telling you all the reasons you had to smile while the reasons you had to cry chaotically bumped around in your head. Why couldn't they just be there for you as you calmed yourself down? Why were they so hell bent on giving you advice that flew in one ear and out the other? Those questions rang around your head making tears spring out of your eyes. You walked off the stage with your head bent, and your hand grasped to your mouth as if trying to control the sobs echoing around in your chest.

Hansol already knew what song you were performing, but he couldn't have known how exactly you were going to execute the stage. When he saw you appear with no makeup, his eyes would widen a bit. The glumness on your face would be clearly visible. The cameras caught him visibly deflate as he took in your solemn and exhausted appearance. When he caught sight of your tears his lips would part a bit, and he looked shock because “oh my god, my s/o is crying, and I can't do anything about it right now”. Then his eyebrows furrowed and his expression would change from shocked to melancholy. He would walk briskly backstage to your waiting room seeing you sitting in a cough with your head in your hands. Sitting beside you silently, he would rest a hand on your knee and lean his head on your shoulder trying to comfort you as much as he could.

“I’m here love, no matter what, I’m here. Just hold my hand for now, tomorrow will be a better and brighter day. I’ll make sure of it.”

Dino

Song: The Day Before - Nell

“At first, I hated you a lot. I cried a lot too But after being like that for a while I wondered what in the world I was doing

Actually, it’s like this. What use is it to hold onto something that is scattering? Only the heart will hurt more But again I wonder, what is The purpose of living like this?”

You wanted to hate them so badly. When you first heard of the news, it was anger that came before sadness and grief. Anger because after all the promises and late nights talking, they left you. They left this life and with that they left you. You didn't think it was fair. You got to live and wake up every day, and they didn't. No one had ever known you had a brother, and they probably never will. After spending all your days crying and lamenting what could have been, you had to step back and take a good look at yourself because you knew no matter how many times you cried or screamed angry words at his picture, it wouldn't bring him back.

 You realized the more you tried to hold on to someone that wasn't here anymore, the more pain you put yourself though. You had to accept his departure, and you just had to hope he was happy wherever he was. You didn't want to live a life where you spent all your time wasting time and energy in something that would only tear you down in the long run. Standing on stage you let slip a small smile as you saw a sea of many light sticks waving to the melody of your song. With the song coming to an end, you imagined his smiling face deciding it would be the last time you cried for him. When you did cry, it felt like a weight had been taken from your shoulders. 

Chan would hear what song you were performing, and his heart would claw up to his throat. He was sitting right next to you while you were writing the song with angry tears as you stared ruefully at the computer screen. Watching you cry almost every day, he knew you would eventually get better, but back then, watching you struggle to keep your tears at bay on a daily basis was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do. He was tense the whole performance worried you wouldn't be able to handle singing the song. Then he saw you let out a little smile as the song ended. You had never once smiled while crying for him. He knew, that you had let him go. Now that you were at peace, so was Chan. Meeting you backstage, he was a bit hesitant, but seeing you smile brightly at him, and he would smile right back hugging you tightly.

“You've cried enough the last few days for a lifetime don't you think so babe? Let’s go eat, food cheers everyone up”

[ask-the-phan-site]

Phan Cam: The Unexpected Heist

>The Hub. After taking the heart of Sheriff Johnson and Oracle and Violet starting college, we finally have time to keep our promise to the Scorchers and Battle Force 5 to help them reopen the portal of Highway 35 and bring back the World Race.

>We were all gathered together waiting for Oracle’s fellow hackers to make contact.

Me and Sophia have made the necessary precautions just in case the Silencerz attempt to trace us if we are caught.

Good, Sage. We’ll need it.

I just hope the Silencerz don’t realize that the ones hacking them are the people they had to deal with in the past.

Don’t worry. Something tells me they never had to deal with a hacker like me before.

Really? What makes you any different?

Oracle: Ever heard of Medjed?

The hacktivist group? Yeah. Why do you ask?

Brace yourselves. I was the founder.

Scorchers and Battle Force 5: (in shock) WHAT!!!?

You’re Medjed? I can’t believe it. I actually followed their work. Though, I thought how Medjed was doing these days seemed a bit odd. Now I know why. Other hackers were impersonating you. But now, I’m meeting the real Medjed!

Oracle: I was the real Medjed. That was a long time ago. I’m Alibaba now. But Oracle is good, too.

RING! RING!

Oracle: Speaking of Alibaba...

Incoming call from three unknown callers.

Oracle: Patch them in.

>Three holographic screens pop open.

Oracle: Hey you guys, long time no see!

Hey, Alibaba! Still rockin’ the headphones! I like that!

Still loud as ever, Yu-ichi.

Somethings never change, huh, Six?

Six: Yeah, nice to see you again, too, Lunch.

So you’re Fu- I mean, Alibaba’s fellow hackers.

Lunch: Yeah, nice to meetcha. You can just call me Lunch.

Six: I’m called Six.

Yu-ichi: And I’m Yu-ichi.

Six: Which is not much of a hacker name since it’s your real first name.

Yu-ichi: But it’s clever. No one would ever suspect that my hacker name is my real name.

Oracle: Okay, guys, stay with me.

Yu-ichi: Sorry. Hey, are the others coming, too? Spooky? Hitomi? And... what’s-his-name? (Gee, it’s been a long time, so I forgot his name.)

Lunch: They’ve been through enough already. Best to leave them out of this. So, why did you bring us back together?

Oracle: Nothing much. Just hacking into a secret organization’s databanks.

Yu-ichi: (laughing a bit) That’s all? That’s like the easiest thing there is. Give us a bigger challenge.

Six: (a little anxious) Get serious. We don’t even know anything about this secret organization.

Oracle: I’ll tell you about it.

RING! RING!

Oracle: Soon. Right now, our next hackers are calling in.

>Another screen opens.

Are we fashionably late?

I think that’s suppose to be my line.

Oracle: Nope. You four are right one time.

Alright! Let’s get this party started!

Hold on, comrade. I get there feeling there are more guests coming.

Indeed there are.

RING! RING!

Queen: That should be him.

>Another screen appears.

Here I am. Did I miss anything?

Queen: No, Forge san, you made it right on time.

Hold on! You’re Forge of the X-Men. Peter told me about you.

For real? Harry, Makoto, and Captain America told me about him, too.

Joker: And Adi told me.

Mixer: (in awe) Holy- It’s really Forge! Dude, I’m one of your biggest fans.

Joule: Come sono io.

Forge: Thanks. It good to meet a fan and a colleague. Un piacere di conoscerti. Y tú también.

Makoto, how do you know Forge?

Queen: Do you remember that Inhuman student from the school festival? The one who said her friend is a mutant? I looked into those students. The mutant student was visited by Dr. Hank McCoy. Forge san just happened to have come with him.

Forge: We wanted to talk to her before she and her friends left for Attilan. We wanted to make sure that she’ll be ready to go up us or her parents worrying about her getting M-Pox if she’s exposed to the Terrigen Mist. We also wanted to let her know that she’ll always have place with the X-Men.

Joker: That’s good to hear.

I thought you left the X-Men so you could do your own thing.

Forge: I still help them from time to time. Mostly with mutants who’ve just come into their powers.

Queen: I know what you mean. I had to go through Scott Summers and almost the rest of the X-Men to contact you.

Forge: And I still can’t believe you decided to ask me and had to go through all that just to do it.

It was either you or the other Forge. The one who still maintains his youthful appearance from being stuck in another dimension for many years.

Forge: Yes, I know who you’re talking about. I’ve met my Fellow Forge many times. A little rambunctious, but he’s a good person. I even asked him with help on some projects. Including this one I’ve been working on.

>Forge hold some kind of metallic helmet along with his phone which had an app open with the lets “c” and “p”.

Forge: I call it Cerebro Portable. Me and my Fellow Forge created it to help telepaths find mutants within a hundred mile radius. Especially ones who just got into their powers. But it’s not finished yet.

Yu-ichi: Really? How so?

Forge: We tried to design it based on the original concept for the original Cerebro. There’s just one problem.

Sophie: And what’s that?

Forge: There are only two people I know who know more about Cerebro than any and that would be the original creators. Professor Charles Xavier, but he won’t awaken from his coma for eight more years. The other is... Erik Lehnsherr.

Magneto.

Forge: That’s right. And I’m not about to go all the way to Genosha just to ask him to help me create something that he, himself, could use to find mutant to recruit into the Brotherhood or his mutant army. So it may be a while. Hopefully Professor Xavier will be awake by then. But for now, I’ll just settle with getting help from my Fellow Forges.

RING! RING!

Forge: Speaking of which.

>Another screen opens.

Sorry for the wait. Just finishing up with Kurt and the others.

Forge san! It’s been too long.

Queen: Yes, it has.

Forge: I didn’t want to leave him out of it, so I invited him to help out, too.

Other Forge: I’m willing to do what I can.

Joule: I think we’re going to have some confusion here.

Six: Yeah, how do we address one of you?

Other Forge: Well, my Fellow Forge came here first, so I guess we can call him Forge 1. I’ll be fine with being called Forge 2.

Yeti: If that works, we’ll take it.

How did you two meet Forge 2?

Queen: (unsure) Well...

Noir: (smiling) I can tell you. It all started...

>Flashback.

>The streets of Shibuya in the summer before the pandemic. A fast car was driving up wildly. Queen and Noir were coming back from grocery shopping... and Noir was behind the wheel.

Haru, please be careful! These eggs are for a special meal Sis is making tonight.

It’ll be alright. I think I’ve had a lot of improvement.

>The car was zooming around while people try to back off. Suddenly, someone accidentally fell into the street.

LOOK OUT!!!

>The car was about to hit the young man on the street... But it didn’t. The car suddenly was floating in the air. Queen and Noir looked to see that the young man they nearly hit had some kind of device that was creating some kind of gravity field.

Wow! Good thing I came here to show my new anti-gravity generator for situations like this. Hope you girls have your reentry cushions checked.

>End of flashback.

Mona: (unsurprised) That makes sense.

Noir: We exchanged information and we’ve known each other since.

Forge 2: And your eggs were even safe.

Forge 1: And how did that anti-gravity generator work out?

Forge 2: They said they’ll thank about it.

Translation: You were rejected.

Forge 2: Yeah, I figured.

Noir: Why would they? It’s a great invention. It really helped us.

Forge 2: Good question. Either because their minds are too slow or small to handle how advanced my inventions are, or... Well, you know.

Vert: Because you’re a mutant. Now that’s just unfair.

Forge 2: Sounds like you know the feeling.

Vert: (a small smile) Let’s just say, I have secrets of my own.

>For a moment, a small light formed in Vert’s hand which quickly vanished just as I saw something move on his back behind his uniform... I wonder.

RING! RING!

Oracle: Sounds like another fellow hacker’s here.

>Another screen opens.

I’m here and ready for anything.

Joker: Glad you can join us, Player.

Wayne: Yeah, how are things back up there, eh? I haven’t been back in awhile.

Player: Well, things are still quiet because of the pandemic. Other than that, everything’s great.

Joker: And speaking of of how things are, how’s Red chan doing?

WARNING: Spoilers for Carmen Sandiego ahead.

Yeah, ever since V.I.L.E. went down in flames and Zack and Ivy joined A.C.M.E., she’s been pretty quite.

Player: She’s fine. She finally found her mom, but she hasn’t said anything else. But I’m sure we’ll learn more soon. For now, I’ll see what I can do. Thanks again for inviting me.

Oracle: We’re gonna need all the hackers we can get.

Yu-ichi: I know. Hackers are getting younger and younger these days.

Six: (whisper) And yet you ack like you’re getting younger and younger... Don’t change, man.

Player: (smiling) Hey, the Spookies. Nice to meet you. You’re actually one of the reasons I was inspired to become a hacker.

Lunch: Really. That’s good. Of course, our reason for hacking is probably much different than ours.

Player: Pretty much.

Wolf: (a bit surprised) Hold on! Spookies? I thought you three were familiar. I should have realized that when you said Spooky, real name Masahiro Sakura.

Queen: Now that you mentioned it, I think I remember my father talk about a case from another part of Japan. I didn’t think much of it at the time and completely forgot about it.

Yu-ichi: So you know about that? I wonder what he’s doing now. He disbanded our group after some stuff happened and he left to find himself.

Lunch: I’m sure we’ll see him again soon.

Six: Same here. I sort of miss him and the others.

RING! RING!

Sophie: We have another one.

>Another screen opens.

I just finished my start-of-term homework, now I’m all free.

Joker: So glad you could join us, Adi. I just hope the Future Avengers won’t be called away anytime soon.

Adi: No, things have been relatively slow lately, so I think we’re good. But just in case, Mr. Stark and Cap want us on stand by.

Skull: I’m sure it’s nothing you, Makoto, and the others can’t handle.

Adi: I’m sure, too.

Joker: Thanks for helping us, little-brother-may-become-son.

Adi: You’re welcome, big-brother-may-become-father.

>I can sense I made Adi happy inviting him here.

Rank Up!

Confidant: Codec

Arcana: 3

Ability: Technical Act Type 2

Delivers the same effect as Technical Act but to a much greater extent.

RING! RING!

>Another screen opens.

All set and ready to go!

*Chirp*

Oracle: Welcome to the party, Conor. You, too, Chim-Chim.

Mixer: Is that a robot monkey?

Conor: Yeah, I’m allergic to most furs, so I designed him.

Forge 2: Whoa! Robotic technology sure has changed since 1978.

Conor: What do you mean by that?

Forge 1: It’s a long story.

There are so many hackers here.

Joker: I know, it reminds me of that movie Oracle showed us.

Oracle: Yeah, Angelina san was a treasure in Hackers Jackers.

Yeah. So, is that everyone?

Forge 2: Not quite. I have a feeling... that we have a couple more to go.

RING! RING!

Mona: You bet.

>Another screen opens.

Have you guys been waiting long?

Oracle: Just a little.

Thanks for inviting us. We’ve hadn’t had much to do since what happened on Eternia. I guess now that most of the evil of the universe, particularly Lotor, has been defeated, business for the Voltron Force has been a bit slow.

Really? That’s a shame. I’m sure something will come up soon.

Pidge: Well, it’s not totally slow. We do get the occasional bully or mad conqueror. Though, it’s not really the same.

Forge 2: Don’t give up. You guys will see real action again someday.

Pidge: Thanks, Forge-Of-My-Dreams. But for now, the only real action we’ve seen is in our dreams. Like how I dream that I’m some kid with heel problem fighting monsters from Greek Mythology or a pirate kid with a very pirate family or some kid with magical slugs.

Joker: That’s all?

Pidge: Pretty much. But I haven’t been having more actiony dreams. There were two others, but they’re gone for some reason. Though, one of them I’m glad is gone. But the other one I really miss.

Forge 2: Yeah, I think I know. But, you still have me... and our last hacker.

Vert: (confused) Our last hacker?

Queen: Vince isn’t the last hacker we’re expecting?

Vince: No, but Pidge says he knows about him.

Then he knows that he’s just as smart as I am.

RING! RING!

That should be him now.

>Another screen opens.

Sherman: About time. We were afraid you weren’t coming at all.

Yeah, I kinda forgot until I took a siesta and these two reminded me. (he nods to Forge 2 and Pidge)

Pidge: You’re welcome.

Vert: (a bit suspicious) You seem familiar... You wouldn’t happen to know a teen alien who sounds like I used to when I was his age and is accompanied by a little alien robot that sound like you, would you?

Hi-Tech Young Man: (smiling) Maybe.

Spinner: Everyone, this is our cousin, Roberto Martinez. We call him Berto for short.

Berto: Hola, nice to meet you.

Six: Great, now we’ve got three headphones.

Hey, respect the headphones, man!

Mixer: Yeah, dude, don’t start dissin’ the phones.

Yu-ichi: Besides, you’re the one whose only mode of transportation is a skateboard... BTW, you still use for that?

Six: (blushing a bit) ... Maybe... Okay, so I’m still a long ways from getting that fancy sports car I’ve wanted. Business at our family’s store is rather slow these days. Even more since the pandemic hit. But I’m not giving up.

Berto: Hey, no shame in still skateboarding at your age. Look at me. I’m close to your age and I still do it.

Six: Easy for you to say, you look like you have a car. Most likely a high tech one at that.

Berto: Ture, I have a couple, but nothing beats a deck. Plus, it’s good for the environment.

Six: I guess that’s good to hear.

Wolf: So, is that everybody here, or are we expecting more?

Skull: Let me check. Yo, is anybody expectin’ anybody!?

Panther: Well, I did thought about asking Tecna for help, but I don’t want to get her or the Winx in trouble with the Silencerz, so she’s out. But I’ll call her if anything happens.

Skull: Then yup, that’s everyone!

Vert: Now that our team’s been assembled, let’s get on it. Now, I bet most of you are wondering why you’re here. Well, for that... I turn things over to my dad. Take it away, pops.

Thanks, Vert. You’re here because we might have a way to bring back one of the greatest inter-dimensional races ever. However, the secrets to that are locked away in the Silencerz’ mainframe. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (I’ve always wanted to say that), is to hack into their mainframe. In the mainframe, you must find a file containing the research data of the late Dr. Peter Tezla. But be warned, the Silencerz will try every hacker defense trick in the book: Firewalls, anti-virus software, encrypted passwords, security algorithms, even their own viruses and malware. If you do managed to get in and find the file, you have exactly 15 minutes to copy it before the failsafe kicks in.

Adi: Failsafe?

Jack: 15 minutes after the file’s been hacked, said file will delete itself permanently to prevent further hacking.

Forge 1: But if the Silencerz try everything to stop us, it’s going to be hard to get past all that. I think this is going to be much different than hacking into MRD tech.

Sophie: Luckily, that’s where I come in.

>The hackers on the screens (except for Adi, Player, Conor, and Chim-Chim) where confused until Sophie vanishes and reappears on the main screen.

Vince: (surprised) Holy!!!

Pidge: (smiling) I had a feeling that was no ordinary girl.

Yu-ichi: Amazing. An AI with it’s own ego... I wonder if I should tell my cousin Tokita about this.

Sophie: I am Sophia, humanity’s companion. I am going to help you all with whatever I can. That includes hacking into the Silencerz’ mainframe.

Mixer: You know, we have an AI of our own.

Sophie: You do?

??-??: A! I! S! H! A! We! Are! AISHA! ... Sorry, I couldn’t help it.

Sophie: So you must be M.A.Y.H.E.M.’s AI.

Call me In-Su.

Oracle: Didn’t I see you as part of an opening act for August Gaunt?

In-Su: With my sisters, yes. But that was a long time ago. I’m with M.A.Y.H.E.M. now. I mainly help Friday, Mixer, Gremlin, Joulie, and Safeword with cybernetic things, but I have done on-the-field missions... If the field is in Cyberspace.

Sophie: That’s good to hear. Nice to meet you. I guess we will be working together. I look forward to our mission together.

In-Su: I so will I, sachon*.

*”Sachon” is Korean for “cousin”.

Conor: Hey, if you’re gonna do something like this, me and Chim-Chim want to go into the virtual world.

Chim-Chim: *chirp chirp*

Lunch: You can do that?

>Conor shows he has some VR equipment.

Lunch: I guess that works.

>Conor connects the VR headset to his computer and Chim-Chim connects to it as well. Within moments, they were jacked in and something appears on the main screen with Sophie and In-Su.

Conor: Alright, all buffed up and ready for action! (begins singing) Here they come. Here comes Conor and his monkey, Chim-Chim.

>We all just stare... Which of us will be the first to ask?

Six: Oh, god. And why do they both of mustaches?

Vince: I’m guessing to match.

Yu-ichi: (smiling) I kinda like it. It’s actually quite clever.

Conor: (satisfied) Ha, I knew it! Take that, Lucy.

Pidge: Go with what works for you.

Jack: True. But remember what I said, the Silencerz will do whatever it takes to protect its secrets. I should know, I used to be the leader.

Vert: I wonder who took after you when you left.

Jack: (looking a bit down) Vert... I think you have pretty good idea.

Vert: I... I see. Well, we’ll still be able pull this off we work together.

We will. We can do this.

Vert: Thanks, Ren.

Jack: Again, I have to warn you, the Silencerz don’t play around. This is your last chance to back out. If you do, I won’t blame you.

>The other hackers were showing some doubt. No doubt they were thinking about what Jack said... However, their doubt quickly fades.

Player: Our friends wouldn’t have called us here if they didn’t we could handle the risk. We trust them.

Safeword: He’s right. They even helped M.A.Y.H.E.M. with a little something. Time to repay the favor.

Conor: Same with me, Chim-Chim, and our friends.

Vince: And us, too.

Lunch: I know this is the first time we’re meeting Alibaba’s friends, but we will help them.

Adi: Me and the other Future Avengers trust Ren, Yusuke, and the others.

Forge 1: We also just met, but we trust you.

Forge 2: Yeah.

Berto: (curious) Espeda, M.A.Y.H.E.M.? Racer Academy? And Arus? Aren’t those the places the Phantom Thieves... You know what? Never mind. I don’t wanna know.

Taro: (smiling a bit) Good. I don’t think you could keep your mouth shut.

Six: Look, what we’re trying to say is that we’re in. We’ll help you.

Jack: (with a look of gratitude) Thank you all.

Taro: Good luck, you guys. The fate of the World Race and Highway 35 is in your hands.

No pressure or anything.

Six: Believe me, we’ve seen through demons in a cybernetic world.

Safeword: Fight an evil organization everyday.

Player: What Safeword said.

Adi: Ditto, with a side of other villains.

Conor: I think we can handle it.

Vert: (smiling) Then let’s get to it!

Oracle: I’ve already got a lock on the mainframe. Ready when you are.

Conor: Ready as we’ll ever be.

>With that, Chim-Chim transforms into a motorcycle and Conor gets on.

In-Su: How are we suppose to keep up with that?

Oracle: Leave that to me.

>Oracle programs something into her laptop and something appears on the main screen.

What in the world!?

Oracle: I hope you don’t mind. I just thought we’d go with something more appropriate. This Johanna pretty much has all the things the original has for extra protection. Sophia, you’re driving. In-Su, I’m adding a side car for you.

>Oracle types something on her computer and a side car appears on Cyber Johanna. Sophie switches to her Phantom Thief attire.

Are you ready, In-Su chan?

In-Su: (now wearing a purple helmet with M.A.Y.H.E.M.’s fleur-de-lis which was blue on it) Ready.

Conor: Then let’s get going!

>With that, Sophie and In-Su get on Cyber Johanna and they, along with Conor and Chim-Chim, ride off.

>A little later, we were at the mainframe of the Silencerz. It was shaped like a giant tower with the Silencerz’ logo on it.

Sophie: This must be it.

Yu-ichi: You can already tell that they’re hiding something here.

Forge 2: And we’ll find out those secrets soon enough. Time to get to work.

Lunch: Let’s see what we’ve got here.

>Lunch begins hacking into the first line of protection.

>Meanwhile in the Silencerz’ Headquarters in an unknown location, an alarm goes off in the computer room.

We have a problem. Call #1.

>Almost immediately, another Silencer comes in.

What is it, #2? What happened?

Silencer #2: Someone is trying to hack into our mainframe.

Silencer #1: So what else is new? Have you got a lock on where the source of the hacking is from?

Silencer #37: (don’t ask, we’re using their numbers) Not yet. We are still trying to find it. But we have got a lock on the hacker’s virus.

Silencer #5: I do not know what to make of this.

Silencer #1: A virus based on a ghost? Then I suggest you try busting it.

>Some of the Silencerz began typing something.

>Back in Cyberspace, the Spookies’ virus was phasing open a way when something appears near them. They looked like four men in jumpsuits curing some kind of large device on their backs that had guns attached to them.

In-Su: (confused) Are those... the Ghostbusters?

Jack: I told you, every trick in the book.

>The Cyber Ghostbusters begin firing at the Sppokies’ virus ghosts.

Conor: Time to go to work, Chim-Chim!

Chim-Chim: *chirp*

>Conor and Chim-Chim begin fighting off the Cyber Ghostbusters. In-Su and Sophie join in as well. In-Su’s dance moves already makes her a capable fighter and Sophie was swinging her yo-yos. After a while, Sophie, In-Su, Conor, and Chim-Chim manages to beat the Cyber Ghostbusters, but they had completely destroyed the Spookies’ virus.

Safeword: Our turn now!

>Safeword, Joule, Mixer, and Yeti, begin typing.

>At Silencerz HQ...

Silencer #20: This does not look right. What do we do?

Silencer #12: Try typing “cookie”, you idiot.

Silencer #1: Hey, be nice. And I do not think that would work. I have seen this movie before. Try regular anti-virus software.

Silencer #20: Yes, sir.

>Back in Cyberspace, the first few defenses have been broken though. Suddenly, a bright light flashes and the virus is deleted.

Forge 1: (smiling) You ready for this?

Forge 2: (also smiling) You know it!

>Forge 1 and Forge 2 upload their viruses.

Forge 2: Scott, this is for you, man.

>The two viruses begin attack the Sliencerz’ other defenses. Vert was looking at Forge 2′s virus.

Joker: Is something wrong, Vert?

Vert: Something about Forge 2′s virus that reminds me of someone... But I’ll think more about it later.

>Back at Silencerz HQ...

Silencer #3: Now we have viruses based on mutants?

Silencer #2: Be nice. One of my relatives was a mutant.

Silencer #1: Either way, we cannot let them through.

Silencer #3: I know.

>Silencer #3 begins programming something.

>Back in Cyberspace, Forge 1′s virus and Forge 2′s virus managed to break through more lines of defenses.

In-Su: It looks like we’re making progress.

Conor: Keep it up, you guys!

>Suddenly, something appears... Something big.

Forge 1: That can’t be good.

Sophie: I can help them with this. Time to show you my own power. Persona!

Pidge: (surprised smile) Whoa! I didn’t think she had one, too.

Vince: But there are robots who do.

Six: I think I read something about that... And dreamed about it.

Berto: Like I said, I don’t wanna know.

>Sophie and Pandora fight the Anti-Virus Sentinels along with the Forges’ viruses.

Player: With them busy, looks like I’m going up to the plate.

>With that, Player begins typing something and a new virus comes up. It looked like Carmen Sandiego, but a little blue.

Player: I hope Red doesn’t get too upset for changing her colors.

>Player’s virus begins using an enlarged version of her laser cuter to cut through the defenses.

>Back at Silencerz HQ.

Silencer #7: They are still coming!

Silencer #1: This is getting out of hand. Have you found the source of the attack yet?

Silencer #37: It is hard to tell. They are coming from multiple sources.

Silencer #1: See if you can find the closest source. We will start there.

Silencer #37: Yes, sir.

Silencer #40: I will deal with the current virus.

>Back in Cyberspace, Player’s virus has cut through more of the mainframe’s defenses and the Anti-Virus Sentinels have been deleted.

Oracle: There’s only a few left. Keep going, we’re almost there!

Adi: I think I have something that’ll move us faster.

>Then, a virus that looks like a queen bee appears with a swarm.

Adi: I got the idea from some children’s show. I’ll tell you more about it later.

>The bee viruses begin helping Player’s virus cut get through more of the defenses along with the Forges’ viruses. Suddenly, something flies up.

Adi: These guys don’t quit, do they?

>The virus swarm fights off against the security algorithms with Sophie, Pandora, and the Forges’ viruses while Conor and Chim-Chim break through the last of the walls.

Conor: Just a little more...

>Finally, the last of the security walls were gone. But no sooner they were, a blast of flames came and nearly blew Conor and Chim-Chim away!

Conor: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

In-Su: You mean great walls of fire. It’s a firewall. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.

Pidge: Hold on, I have something that could help you.

>Suddenly, some big gun that resembles a lion appears in In-Su’s hands.

Vince: This wind blaster will help blow out the flames. But don’t use it now. Wait until you’re on the other side of the wall to use it, or you might blow the flames at the files and destroy them.

In-Su: Right. Here I go.

>With that, In-Su dances her way through the flames until she finally got to the other side.

In-Su: Stand back!

>Then, with a large blast of wind, the firewall was out. Conor and Chim-Chim go in.

In-Su: Okay, we’re in.

Jack: Well done, kids! Now, the file you’re looking for is labeled “200335″.

Oracle: We’re searching now.

>Outside the mainframe, the security algorithms were still coming.

Sophie: This looks bad, we’re running out of room. If only we had at least one more to help us.

Berto: Leave that to me! I’ve got the perfect thing!

>Berto then uploads his own virus.

>Berto’s virus assists Sophie, Pandora, and the Forges’ viruses as In-Su, Conor, Chim-Chim, and the other hackers search for the file.

>At Silcencerz HQ.

Silencer #20: Damn! They are in the mainframe.

Silencer #1: You still have not found them?

Silencer #3: We might be able trace them if they find they file they are looking for.

Silencer #1: Then do it.

>With that, the Silencerz begin their work.

>Back in Cyberspace, the Silcencerz’ security algorithms were finally defeated.

Sophie: We did it! Thank you all.

>The viruses gestured a “You’re welcome” to Sophie and disappear back to where they came from.

Vince: That virus of your, Forge 2, it makes me wonder.

Forge 2: Wonder what?

Vince: If... If I should have asked my dream brother from New Olympia to help us, too... Oh well, I’ll ask him next time.

Vince: You’ll have to get through his Big Buddy, Hunk’s dream brother. And I don’t think my own DB would be too happy. Especially after everything that’s happened in recent months. But I’m sure I can talk him into it.

Panther: Dream brother?

Queen: You mean...

My gift of connecting people’s minds and hearts with my singing strikes again.

Conor: Hey, I think we found it!

>Conor, Chim-Chim, In-Su, and Sophie who joined them, found a file that looked like a file cabinet. One of the drawers was labeled 200335.

Jack: That’s it!

Sophie: We found the file. Let’s copy it.

>Sophie opens the drawer show many files. No sooner did she open it, it starts flashing and making a siren sound.

Spinner: (covering his ears) Yikes, that loud!

Jack: That’s the alarm for the failsafe. You now have 15 minutes to copy the file before it deletes itself permanently.

Oracle: Leave it to me. I’ll just use the same program I created to copy Makoto’s Sis’s computer.

Queen: Let’s hope it works on the Silencerz’ mainframe than it does Sis’s.

>Oracle enters the program and it begins to copy the file.

>At Silencerz HQ, the computer room was now flashing and alarms were ringing.

Silencer #3: They are copying the file! Now, if I could just... Got it! I got a lock. The source of the copying is coming from... some town nearby.

Silencer #1: You mean... Handler’s Corners.

>Silencer #1 begins to leave.

Silencer #9: Sir, where are you going?

Silencer #1: (turning back) To visit an old amigo.

>With that, Silencer #1 leaves. Suddenly, the alarm gets louder.

Silencer #20: What is happening!?

Silencer #3: This looks bad. Someone else is in the mainframe. They are also copying the file.

>Back in Cyberspace.

Oracle: This doesn’t look good. There’s someone else here. Someone’s also copying this file.

>Sure enough, something comes out of the file cabinet. It was a little blue bad... wearing a pair of glasses and had the most ugliest comb-over ever.

It’s Strega! What the hell do they want?

Vert: Who?

Taro: Some cult.

Oracle: If they’re also copying the file, then us copying it will be difficult.

Lunch: So, we may not be able copy the whole file?

Yu-ichi: Well that sucks.

Player: I’m sure I think I might help with that. I mean, I can’t stop Strega from also copying the file, but I think I have an idea what may happen and how to solve the problem.

Oracle: I hope so.

Jack: Hurry, only 9 minutes left.

>Oracle’s program tries its best to copy the file which is difficult as the program from Strega (most likely made by Jin) is also copying the file.

Jack: Only 6 minutes.

Oracle: We’re almost done.

>Before we knew it, only 4 minutes left. Please copy it.

>3 minutes. Not much time left and the copying is still going.

>2 minutes. There’s still more.

>1 minute. Almost there.

>59 seconds... Come on. Come on! COME ON!

>10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

FILE DELETED. CONNECTION TERMINATED.

>The main screen goes to static. Then, Sophie is re-projected back with us, In-Su returns to M.A.Y.H.E.M.’s computer, and Conor and Chim-Chim are back in their real world forms.

Panther: Conor, Chim-Chim, are you two alright?

Conor: (a little dizzy) We’re fine. We’re used to this sort of thing.

In-Su: I’m fine, too. My source code is a little frizzy, but that can be helped with a quick fix.

Joule: You’ve earned it, In-Su. Enjoy your nap.

>With that, In-Su shots off for now.

Vert: So, did we succeed in copying the file?

Oracle: Let me check.

>Oracle checks the copied file.

Well, I’ve got some bad news, good news, and some stressful news.

Agura: I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy.

Oracle: Bad news: We weren’t able to copy all of the research data. Good news: We did manage to copy most of it. Stressful news: Most of it is encrypted. Until we can decipher the code, you guys are going to have to wait a little longer.

Taro: I figured as much.

Berto: But with all of us, we should be able to crack the code.

Mixer: Afraid you’ll have to count us out. We didn’t tell Persephone that we did this and she’s got a strict policy about messing with organizations other than L.E.G.I.O.N. without her permission.

Yeti: (looking down) ...

Mixer: (panicking) YETI, YOU TOLD HER!? SHE’S GONNA PUT ME ON COFFEE DUTY AGAIN!

Safeword: I see. If that’s the case... I’ll take a double shot expresso.

Joulie: I’ll take a mocha.

Mixer: (shocked) Seriously?

>With that, we bid our M.A.Y.H.E.M. friend fair well for now and they leave.

Conor: Chim-Chim and I have to bow out, too. Speed will be back any minute and I don’t want him to know what we did. I wanna keep it a surprise.

Pidge: Me and Vince have to go, too. I have a few castle defenses to upgrade.

Vince: And I’m on standby. I know business is slow, but Keith says peace time is the best time to prepare for anything.

Joker: Right, see you all later.

>With that, Conor, Chim-Chim, Pidge, and Vince sign off.

Adi: The rest of us will stay and help you decipher the code.

Player: With Red on break, I’ve got time.

Oracle: Thanks, you guys.

Berto: Guess I better let Max, Steel, and Ferrus know I’m gonna be busy for awhile.

Sherman: We’ll back you up.

Berto: Gracias.

Spinner: That’s what primos are for.

>With that, Oracle and our hacker friends begin their work to unlock Dr. Tezla’s research to reopen the portal to Highway 35 and bring back the World Race.

Oracle: But I am curious about one thing: What does Strega want with Tezla’s research?

>Meanwhile in an unknown location...

Crap! Of course the Phantom Thieves would be after this file.

Yeah. Talk about rotten luck.

Uh-huh.

Maybe you should have some kind of alert for them.

Jin: I’ll think about that. Right now, thanks to their hacking into the Silencerz’ mainframe for that file, I only copied most of it, but not all of it. Not to mention it’s encrypted.

I wouldn’t say that. I’d say that you copied plenty. And I’m sure with our new allies’ help, we might be able to unlock all of Dr. Tezla’s secrets.

Jin: Why are we even doing this, anyway? Since when are we interested in a long forgotten and completely no longer popular race?

Takaya: You would be surprised by what one can learn from things like this. After all, there are many ways to achieve your goals. Am I correct?

>Someone comes out of the shadows... in a dance-like manner.

That’s right, ghosty boy. I bet even M.A.Y.H.E.M. couldn’t think of something like this.

Jin: (a bit confused) Even though they were just in the mainframe as well.

Gaunt: A minor mishap. Something we’ll fix soon.

Myles: With a voice like that, it’s hard to say he’s wrong.

Evan: Uh-huh.

Gaunt: (with a small bow) Thank you.

Jin: So, can L.E.G.I.O.N. help with deciphering the code?

Gaunt: Maybe. Even we can’t work miracles that quickly. Just look at me. At first, I was only partially restored. I didn’t even have my-

Jin: (quickly with a frown) Okay, okay, we get the picture!

Takaya: Soon, we’ll gain what we’re after... Soon...

>What will happen next?

NOTE: We apologize if this post is a little long. We thought this would be the end of this heist, but like we said, this post was a little long. The last post for this heist will come soon.

[neocityarchive]

ends | mark lee (pt 4)

summary | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Y/N’s POV

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: none

Chapter Summary: “I’ve learned the feeling of losing you. It hurts more than I can take.”

It was another chilly night. You didn’t understand what’s so important about today that Hyuck wanted you to meet him as soon as possible. Without anything else to do, you agreed.

You and Hyuck hung out a lot lately. And although so many parts of him remind you of Mark (plus the fact that he constantly mentions his hyung), the times you spend with him are the most you’ve laughed in months.

You were already late when you arrived at the cafe. You found it strange that he wanted to meet there. It didn’t look like a place he would wanna go to, but then again, there’s still so much you don’t know about him. Somehow, he always ends up surprising you until now.

The bell above the door rang as you entered. The place was a bit huge but only half full. You looked around in search for your friend among the sea of strangers who were completely immersed in their own businesses. But then what you found instead, you didn’t expect at all. 

You felt as if air had been knocked out of your lungs. Your heart started beating so fast that it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. You haven’t felt this since you downed three cups of coffee before your college finals. You blinked. Thrice, just two make sure if it’s real. You hoped it wasn’t, but it was.

Mark Lee, the boy you loved and maybe still do, was sitting at the corner of the cafe. His cap hung low on his face in the hopes of giving him anonymity, clearly trying not to be noticed. But you do. You could be in a crowd of hundreds and you would still recognize him anywhere. Especially when he’s looking back at you, eyes wide, mouth slightly open.

What a cruel game the universe plays, you thought. Just when I was starting to think that maybe I could be happy by myself again, it throws me this.

You shook your head slightly and started walking towards him, your feet almost as if moving on their own. As shocked as you were, though, it felt nothing compared to how he seemed to be.

“Hi,” you said, looking away at once. Somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes when you know they were staring back at you.

“Y/N,” Mark said, standing up. “H-hi.”

You forced a smile. “I was just, um—” you cleared your throat. “I was supposed to meet Donghyuck. Is he here?” You looked around again, hoping to find Hyuck or literally just anyone who could pull you out of the situation. It hasn’t even been two minutes, but your whole body was already screaming at you to run, that none of this is good.

Funny how you’ve been spending so much time thinking about Mark, but now that he’s right there in front of you, you would give anything just to disappear.

He shook his head. “He just left, like ten minutes ago. He told me to wait a while before heading out.”

“But we were supposed to...” your voice trailed off as it occurred to you what just happened. You sighed. “Oh, that asshole,” you muttered under your breath.

“Why?” 

Under his cap, you could see his eyebrows furrow for awhile before he started to realize what was happening. You wanted to scream. It annoyed you how you still find it cute that he’s slow to catch on things.

“He set us up...?” Mark asked, his tone hesitant. “Oh.”

“I can’t believe him.” You groaned. “I’m sorry. I swear I have nothing to do with this. I honestly had no idea. I promise. I’m just gonna go. Sorry.”

You turned around immediately and started walking away. But you haven’t even taken your second step when you felt Mark’s hand grab you by the arm. You sucked in a breath, realizing how this scene was all too familiar. Suddenly, it was like you were back at the lounge beside the recording rooms. Suddenly, it felt like he just broke your heart again.

You bit your lip to stop yourself from screaming as the memory of that day ran through your head.

“Stay,” Mark said, his voice low. “Please.”

Your heart melted at the sound of his voice. It was getting harder and harder to breath, like standing in neck-deep water. Even just looking at him, with him touching you like that, being this close... it’s a bit too much.

“Mark, just...” you said weakly.

His grip loosened until he let go. 

“... don’t,” you continued. “You probably have somewhere you need to be anyway.”

“I don’t,” he said immediately. “And I also wanted to talk to you.”

You let out a breath. You hate how you’re trying so hard not to show him that he still has an effect on you. You hate it even more that you’re most likely failing. 

“It’s getting late. I might miss the bus,” you lied.

“I’ll take you home. I promise.”

“Mark, this isn’t—”

“Please,” he insisted. His voice sounded fragile. Now that you’re getting a better look at him, you realized he looked like he just cried. His eyes were red, his nose puffy, his lips looking more plump than usual. Still, you thought it was impossible considering he was with Hyuck earlier. Maybe it was just the lighting. Or maybe he’s just tired, as usual.

You looked away. Some of the people in the cafe were starting to look at the two of you. You had a feeling at least one of them have already recognized Mark.

You exhaled and groaned to yourself before making a decision you were 99% sure you were going to regret later on. “Fine,” you said.

He smiled.

“But let’s get out of here.” You eyed the people around the room. “You’ve already been here for too long.”

Mark quickly got the message, looking around warily for fans and nosy media people. It was one of those things you’ve developed in the relationship while you were still together after encountering those kinds of people so many times.

“Alright, come on.”

When you got out of the cafe, you were disoriented for a while. Paradoxically, the whole scene felt so strange because it was too natural: the two of you getting out of a cafe this time of the night, going on walks together. You remembered how you were always wishing that your house was a bit further away, and him whining about having an early schedule the next day. You remember how much the two of you hated goodbyes so much. It’s kind of funny how you gave each other the biggest one.

Now, he’s just... there. The familiar scent of his perfume has been driving you crazy. Something about it makes you want to wrap your arms around him and bury your head in his chest, but you can’t. You wondered if this is what they mean by someone being so close, but so far away.

The two of you started walking the opposite direction of where you came. You buried your hands in your jacket pocket, feeling the warmth of your breath as you exhaled the cold air.

“Where are we going?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Where do you wanna go?”

You shrugged, too. During the first few weeks after your breakup, you hated going out so much since everywhere you go, something always reminds you of him. The traces of your relationship are all over Seoul and beyond, it was so hard to run away from.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“I’m fine.”

As if it’s the universe’s job to constantly prove you wrong, a cold wind blew past, making you shiver.

“I’m fine,” you said again, this time trying to convince yourself.

“No, you’re not.” Mark shook his head. He held his hands out, waiting for you to take it. You knew what he was about to do. It’s one of those things he learned from watching too much romcoms with you. “Come on. I know you’re freezing. I’ve always told you to put on extra layers since you get cold easily. You never listen.”

“I said I’m fine,” you whined.

But Mark only clicked his tongue and took both your hands in his, pressing them together and blowing on them. His warm breath on your freezing hands immediately took effect, maybe partly because your cheeks were heating up, too. He rubbed his thumb on the back of your hands in circles, calming you down. It was all you could do to stop yourself from doing something even more stupid.

When he finally let go, you were frozen for a second with no idea what to do. You put your hands back in your pocket and looked away.

“Better?” he asked.

You nodded weakly, not meeting his eyes.

“Do you want to crash the recording studio? I have to get something from there anyway.”

You couldn’t think straight after what he just did, so you agreed. You knew if he didn’t just mess up your mind like that, you wouldn’t have even considered it.

The rest of the walk was quiet. Neither of you talked. The tension was high. You were aware of both your and his movements, careful not to even brush your hands against each other. Along the way, you decided to get yourselves some coffee since you weren’t able to order from that last cafe.

It was quiet again when you went inside the building. There weren’t many people around at this time of the day. Almost everyone already went home. When you reached the recording studio, it was empty. It didn’t look like anyone was on the whole floor either.

You looked around, suddenly remembering how you were just crying here a few days ago. You wanted to kick yourself for it. How stupid.

Mark asked you to hold his cup as he turned the lights on and everything. The studio looked the same as you remembered except there were no loose pieces of papers or genius producers.

You took a sip, looking around some more.

“Okay, it’s good,” Mark announced after switching the last light on. He handed you a piece of paper with what looked like lyrics in it.

“Jet Lag?” you read.

“It’s a song we’ve been working on,” he said as he turned to you and smirked. “And I think that’s my coffee you’re drinking.”

Your eyes widened. You pulled the straw from your mouth so fast that a few drops spilled down your chin. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” you said, trying to wipe your face which was a challenge considering you were holding something on each hand.

Mark laughed, taking both cups from you and placing them on the table. “It’s okay.”

“I wondered why it suddenly tasted vanilla,” you said.

“At least I’m not drinking something from hell,” he retorted. He pulled his jacket sleeve to cover his hand and used it to wipe the droplets of coffee on your chin that you weren’t able to get.

“Thanks,” you muttered before clearing your throat and looking away.

“You look tired,” he said.

You shook your head. “I’m okay. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately, but I’m okay.”

Mark’s face filled with worry. You realized he must have taken what you said differently.

“It’s because of work!” you added hastily. “Just work. Nothing else. Things are just hectic for the newbies.”

He nodded hesitantly. “Didn’t they offer you a job here?”

“They did. I was actually here last week and they offered me a position again, but I didn’t take it.”

He frowned. “Why not? I thought you loved the dynamic of the team upstairs.”

“I do. But–” You sighed. “I hate this place.”

“Why?” Mark asked, his voice little.

You shrugged. “Because,” you said, “it has stolen so much from me.” You forced yourself to look at him.

Through all that time you’ve been together, you realized you took advantage of how he made you feel. You got used to the butterflies in your stomach, the feeling of security, warmth, and comfort that his presence brought you. You didn’t realize how much it changed you until you lost it all.

Looking at him and knowing you lost so much more than just a boyfriend, you just wanted to break down.

“... Including you,” you let out, your voice almost a whisper.

Mark bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. You, on the other hand, don’t have that amount of self-control right now. You were feeling the same surge of emotions you had when you two broke up. You knew you had to let it out.

“Look,” you said. “I don’t know what you wanted to talk to me about. I actually didn’t think you still have anything to say after... you know. But I do, and I know I won’t have the nerve to say it if I don’t do it now. So I’ll start.”

He nodded his head in encouragement.

You took a deep breath before speaking. There’s a great possibility that this would just make everything worse, but you figured you haven’t taken a lot of risks lately. And this was one you were more than willing to take.

“I know you love your job, and I know how much this all means to you. I never wanted you to choose between that or me because I know I don’t stand a chance. But that’s okay. I understood that. I knew I would never be first priority. But God, it hurt when you didn’t even have to think twice about it anymore. It hurt so much hearing you say you’re tired of us, that you wanted to end it. And honestly, I’m still learning to deal with that pain.” Your voice cracked. “So if you’re gonna say something just to break me again, please just... don’t. I’m so tired, Mark, and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”

“Hey. No. Don’t cry,” Mark said, an edge of panic in his voice. He moved closer to wipe the tears away from your face but you moved back.

“Don’t touch me, please.” You closed your eyes, turning away from him.

“Y/N,” he said softly. Helpless.

“God, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have come here. This is exactly why I didn’t take the job. There’s just too much of you in here. And I can’t be reminded of what I lost everyday.” You tried wiping the tears from your eyes but they just kept on coming. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”

You turned to leave, but Mark was fast. He was already at the door before you could take two steps, his body blocking the way. “You’re not going anywhere until you’ve heard what I have to say.”

You sighed, exhausted. “Please just move.”

He didn’t. “Please just listen.”

You tried to push past him but it was no use. He wasn’t the biggest but he was definitely stronger than you are. And he wasn’t emotionally crumbling inside. Yet.

“Please,” you cried.

Mark stopped fighting as he heard you sob. He sighed and moved away from the door.

You didn’t meet his eyes as you opened the door, ready to leave. Maybe after tonight, you thought, I’ll finally come to my senses and move on. Maybe I could finally learn how to leave all this behind me. Maybe I’ll start healing myself. Maybe—

“I still love you,” Mark’s voice echoed through the empty room, stopping you in your tracks already halfway out the door.

Your head spun as you turned around and let out a shaky breath. “What do you want from me, Mark?” You leaned against the door frame to steady yourself, afraid how easily you might fall.

“I still love you, Y/N,” he repeated. “I’m still so deeply, crazily, unconditionally in love with you. And I hate that it took losing you to realize how much you mean to me. I know I messed up. I’m so sorry. I understand if you’re just going to ignore everything I say tonight, I deserve it. But it’s really important that you hear it.”

You sighed, your emotions as fragile as glass at the moment. “Mark Lee, I swear to God if you’re just messing with me, I will completely cut you out of my life.”

“This isn’t a joke!” You could tell he was getting frustrated too.

He took something from his pocket and handed it to you. It was the Chinese elephant keyring you gave him the day you broke up. You frowned at the tiny thing.

“You said that it was a lucky charm.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“It didn’t work,” he said bluntly. “Ever since we broke up, I have this empty feeling inside me, like I just lost a part of myself. I thought it was normal, I mean, I did lose you. I thought it was gonna’ go away with time. But days passed, and then weeks, and then a month... I realized it won’t, because I miss you. It felt like all my luck in the world had ran out.”

You eyed him carefully. “You’re being corny,” you muttered.

“Y/N this is serious!” he whined.

You decided to shut up when you realized he was hanging on edge. You could tell he was close to breaking, too, and you didn’t know if you were ready to handle that just yet.

“I miss you asking me how I was, where I am, whether I have eaten or not. I miss telling you to dress warmly, to be careful, to always be safe. I miss sneaking out of rehearsals to call you because even just those few minutes of hearing your voice could get me through the day. I miss getting home late and risking my managers getting mad but thinking it’s worth it cause I got to spend time with you. I miss holding your hand and going on walks. I even miss your death drink of a coffee.

“I miss everything about you. Then one day I got so scared when I realized I couldn’t imagine not doing all those things with you again. I hate myself for hurting you, for making you cry. I hate that I let you go. I’m really sorry. I know I don’t deserve you and this apology might be a bit too late. But—” He swallowed as a single drop of tear escaped from his eye. “If you take me back, I promise to work hard to be the person who deserves to love you.”

Your vision blurred from the tears. You didn’t realize your cheeks were wet again. Now, he’s crying, too. He rarely does, but when it happens, it’s like watching the world end before your eyes. It’s so obvious how he crumbles that all you want to do is wrap him in your arms and tell him it’s going to be okay. But not now.

“You can’t just break up with me and ask to get back together whenever you want,” you said. “I love you so much, but what happens if we give this a try again? Let’s face it. We’ll get tired. Nothing will change with your schedules and mine will only get busier. What happens then? Will you just bail on me again and come back when it’s convenient?”

“No, of course not. I promise.”

“You don’t know that!” You raised your voice, choking back a sob. “Eight months ago, you told me for the first time that you love me. You promised you will never get tired of saying it. You said let’s just take that feeling and run away with it. But look where we are now. Promises don’t mean anything anymore. I’ve lost faith in them.”

“But this is different,” he argued. “I’ve learned the feeling of losing you. It hurts more than I can take. I don’t want to lose you again, Y/N.”

“I don’t want to lose you again either, but…”

Mark shook his head lightly before closing the gap between the two of you. He planted his lips softly against yours, but still harsh enough to take you by surprise. It took you a while to react before melting in his arms, giving in. One of his hands was holding the small of your back, pulling you closer against him as he deepened the kiss.

He tasted like vanilla and coffee and tears, but the feel of his lips was exactly how you remembered it, and God it’s crazy how much you missed it. When he pulled away, both of you were breathless.

Your cheeks heat up. Your knees felt like jelly and your whole stomach was in shambles. It’s crazy how this is still his effect on you.

“You won’t lose me,” he said softly as his forehead rested against yours. “Not again. No promises, fine, but take a risk with me again because I can’t imagine not being with you anymore. Heck, I’d spend the rest of my life with you if I can.”

Your eyes widened. “Is that a proposal?”

“What, no. I mean—what? It wasn’t—I’m not... I... I just—” he stammered.

“Relax, I’m kidding.” You laughed. But somehow, you found comfort in hearing him say those words. 

“So are we back together?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Maybe, but if you leave me again, I swear I will shave those seagull eyebrows off. I don’t care what your stylist says.”

“You won’t have to. Trust me,” he said cheekily. “If I knew you just needed a kiss, I would’ve done it much earlier. Saved us from all that crying.” He laughed. He looked brighter somehow.

You punched him lightly in the stomach. “I am not that easy.”

He groaned. “I was kidding!”

You rolled my eyes. “God, I hate how much I love you. It’s sickening.”

“I love how much I love you.” He smiled.

“Dork.” You frowned. He just laughed again.

Mark planted a soft kiss on your forehead, your eyes fluttering close.

“Remind me to thank Hyuck later,” he said.

“Right! This was all his fault,” you remembered. Hyuck has always been the one helping the two of you fix whatever goes wrong in your relationship. He went out of his way on this one, and you couldn’t be more thankful. You guess he cares a lot about Mark to do all this for is friend.

“I’ll take you home? It’s getting late for real.” Mark held his hand out. This time, you took it. No hesitations. Your fingers interlaced with each other like perfect puzzle pieces.

You came out tonight thinking it would go much differently than it did. Funny how fast things change. You almost ran out on him twice today. You don’t know what would’ve happened if he didn’t stop you. Probably not this.

“If we hurry up, we could still catch the last bus,” you said.

“Or we could just walk,” Mark said.

“Or we could just walk,” you agreed.

You wouldn’t walk all the way home, of course. You’d probably be taking a cab before even getting halfway there, but the point is, you’re back where you left off. Here you are again, wishing for roads to be longer and time to be slower. You have everything you could ever ask for.

You heard something jingling as you walked. You searched your pockets to find that it was the elephant keyring. You handed it back to Mark. It was his lucky charm after all.

“I guess it’s working now,” he said. “Maybe my luck hasn’t totally ran out yet. I got you back.”

You smiled. “I guess it hasn’t.”

-끝-

[beyond-the-mirror]

Nocturnal Encounters - An Incubus! V x Reader story

After a long time, it’s finally here!

Fourth chapter is finished, also titled “A casual conversation with a demon over tea”

This took me a lot of time and to be honest I’m not exactly sure what to think of this chapter but maybe that’s just my insecurities talking.

Hope you enjoy it!

------

Fourth Night: Deal

You couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak, in fact you had even forgotten how to breathe at all. The man whose image had plagued your dreams for many nights was now standing right in front of you in the flesh. His eyes, you couldn’t stop staring at those beautiful eyes.

The only thing that brought you back to your senses was the smell of something burning, looking around to see the cause you found a horrifying creature laying dead at V’s feet, its body slowly disintegrating in ashes.

“What is that?” you questioned a bit panicked.

“Just a Mara, a lesser demon that induces nightmares to feed directly from a soul. Nothing to worry about now, your unwanted guest has already been dealt with and shall bother you no longer” V explained to you in a soft voice before waving his hand, the glass doors of the veranda opening at his will to ventilate the room and let the smoke from the demon’s corpse dissipate.

You sat there in silence observing his graceful movements, mind full of questions for the mysterious one, and yet you dared not to speak. As the moonlight peered into your bedroom, you noticed the peculiar shadow projected from his figure. His shadow was as tall as him and had the same built, but the disturbing thing about it was that it appeared to have a pair of horns protruding from its head, folded wings sprouting from its back as well as a long slim tail that followed all his movements.

Fear paralyzed you completely.

The man before you was not human. He was not human at all.

V turned to you before slowly approaching you, each tap of his silver cane against the floor made you increasingly nervous. Each step he took forward made you scoot away from him little by little until your back was against the headboard.

Finally stopping before you, he lowered himself at your level on one knee, his eyes never leaving yours.

“You’re not human, are you?” You inquired, your voice unexpectedly calm considering how scared you were feeling at the moment.

His answer didn’t surprise you at all.

“No.”

Feeling tears forming in your eyes, you looked away from him and towards the floor, his presence and reality of the current situation overwhelming your mind and body.

Carefully, he reached a hand to caress you cheek gently before lifting your chin with his long fingers. Your eyes locked once again with his hypnotizing ones.

“Do you remember the promise I made you those nights ago?”

You nodded silently. His hand moved once again to cup your face, wiping away a few runaway tears that escaped your eyes from time to time. You let out a sigh and closed your eyes, the softness of his actions almost felt like a lover’s would.

“Little wanderer, I will not let anyone or anything hurt you again… not even my very own self. I can sense you are still wary of me, but I assure you I mean no harm.”

“Then why are you here? There must be a reason for you to appear in my dreams.”

You didn’t know where did that small glimpse of bravery come from, but you firmly inquired him about his intentions, having enough of whatever game he had been playing with you all the time his presence invaded your slumber.

“V… what the hell are you?”

He smirked at your courage, an extraordinaire human you were indeed, to act so demanding in the presence of a demon. And yet when he closed the distance between yourselves you immediately flinched, back to a meek trembling mouse cornered by vicious panther.

His breath fanned over your lips.

“I am an incubus.”

A deafening silence.

Incubus.

“I am here because I want you, my dearest.”

------

Tonight was definitely the most bizarre one you had in your entire life.

Here you were sitting on your bed, a warm cup of tea in your hands, while an incubus sat in front of you on a chair he had summoned out of nowhere, cup of tea in his hands as well. Although deep down you weren’t truly surprised considering the demonic activity in Red Grave, having a cup of chamomile tea with a demon in the middle of the night just couldn’t be the strangest incident in the city if you were being honest.

The moment you heard his confession you felt your heart drop in your chest, a dizzying sensation taking you over, it seemed the lingering tension and your panicked state before had finally taken their toll on you.

A worried expression took over V as soon as he noticed your weakened state, an aftermath of the mara feeding from you surely. How he wanted to hold you, alas he decided it was best to give you a bit of space so as to not overwhelm you, it was clear you still felt scared and nervous around him after all. Yet that didn’t stop him from staying at your side concerned of your well-being.

“Are you alright little one? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m… I’m fine, i think it’s already passing. Maybe some tea will help me.”

He offered to prepare it for you, but you declined his offer, insisting in rather doing it yourself. He accepted your decision, your mistrust towards him completely understandable. That didn’t mean he couldn’t offer his hand for support as you stood from the bed, accompanying you to the kitchen by your side.

As you were about to fill the kettle with water, you hesitated. Instead you turned around and asked him if he wanted a cup too, and flattered by your offer, he accepted. What kind of gentleman would he be if he dared to deny a lady such kind offer?

And that’s how you both ended in this situation. Quite the story huh?

You cleared your throat after taking a sip. “So… would you care to explain what did you mean before and why have I been dreaming about you?”

He let out a hum before answering “We incubi mainly feed from energy released by a human soul; however our approach differs deeply from other creatures from the underworld. When an incubus finds a human attractive to them, they plant a ‘dream’ in the human’s mind that makes the soul release said energy, thus the incubus is able to feed and sustain themselves for a while.”

He paused to take a sip from his tea before continuing. “However this is not enough to survive. We are demons after all, creatures born of sin and vice. It is not an exaggeration to state that greed does run in our veins. That’s why we eventually need to present ourselves to our chosen human, so we can start the process of courting them. If one succeeds, the energy we obtain at the end will be exponentially larger than before. You were not supposed to find out about my true self this soon though. Alas, this unexpected incident with the mara requires my plans to be rearranged for the time being.”

You listened to his explanation attentively, his beautiful voice basically luring and capturing your attention with ease. Your mind wandered to his voice reading to you and reciting poetry to your ears alone, the thought making you shiver unintentionally.

Glancing at him, you noticed his now empty cup. You stood up and offered to take it back to the kitchen, however he politely refused, instead he used his magic to teleport the now empty cups to the sink so they can be washed later.

“Allow me to thank you for the tea, it was quite delicious.” A genuine smile appeared on his lips, making you almost forget that V was actually not human but a demon nonetheless. He was so gentle and well-spoken, even though your experience with his kind was null before this encounter, you could very well assure he was the kindest demon that ever existed in the universe.

You smiled at him in return “Oh no, I’m the one who should be thanking you actually. You saved me from that creature.”

V stood up, the chair vanishing in the air, and once again cupped your cheek.

“It is my pleasure, my little wanderer” Oh god, they way he pronounced those words in such a sensual voice, his tongue rolling over each letter like honey. Then there were those eyes again, once again you felt them pulling you towards him. You immediately stepped back and looked down to break the eye contact, having figured if you didn’t look at him directly, you wouldn’t fall for his spell at all.

“I think it’s best if I go to sleep for now, thanks for again for saving me V but i’m afraid I’m gonna ask you to leave-“ you turned towards your bed and you would have climbed on it already if it weren’t for a pair of hands taking hold of both your arms from behind you.

You let out a gasp as V pressed his form against yours.

Leaning down so his lips were next to your ear, he spoke “Did I tell you what type of energy do we incubi feed from? I did mention it in my explanation, but I’m afraid I failed to specify more about it.”

Oh god his voice.

It sent shivers down your spine and made goosebumps appear on your skin.

“Aren’t you curious to know little wanderer?” One of his hands started rubbing your arm up and down while the lightly ran the thumb of his other hand over your bottom lip.

You could feel your blood rushing upwards tinting your cheeks a lovely shade of red, your lips letting out soft whimpers. He chuckled at your sweet sounds of innocence, you swore you felt the vibrations to the very core of your being.

“We feed from the energy released from the highest ecstasy. The one that can only be obtained through sexual activity.”

The way the words left his lips, his tongue rolling smoothly over them.

You gasped when V took your ear in his mouth, nibbling it gently and playing with it. The same trance you would fall into during your dreams with him was back, making your body pliant to his ministrations.

But you hesitated, what if he was lying to you? What if he planned to hurt you in the end and this was only a façade? Doubt filled your mind, and eventually the words fought to come out of your mouth “N-no… Please stop…”

And to your surprise he did. He took a step back from you but not before placing a soft kiss on the back your head, giving you the chance to turn and face him. You dared not to look at his eyes, scared of what you would find in them. Lust? Possessiveness?

With a graceful finger under your chin, he gently lifted your face but you refused to open your eyes.

“Open your eyes little one, look at me.” He spoke so softly, so sweetly. His voice relaxed you, and slowly your eyes fluttered open. In his deep eyes you found kindness instead, looking at you intensely like a long-time lover.

“It’s true I feel a vast burning desire for you sweet (Y/N); however, I also want you to know I’m willing to stop my advances shall you choose to reject me.”

Taking your hand in one of his, he lifted it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on your knuckle. Warmth spread along the skin where his lips touched.

“I want to properly court you, to shower you with the affection you deserve, anything you desire, you shall have it. All I ask in return, is for you to allow me to indulge in carnal pleasures from you. But understand this my little one, only with your full consent shall I proceed. The decision is completely yours, you are the one with absolute power and freedom in this deal of ours.”

His words felt so sincere and authentic, his eyes sparkling with complete honesty. His entire posture, his aura, even his voice made you feel calm and safe, and although doubts still lingered deep inside you, you were sure now that V would never hurt you.

However that didn’t change the fact that you’ve never had sex before. You never really felt the need to experience it and an opportunity to do so never seemed to arrive before. Still you had to admit you were a little curious, sometimes wondering how would it feel like to be held in the arms of a man in such a passionate embrace. You had touched yourself before yes, but you were curious to see if experiencing sexual pleasure with someone else would feel even better than that.

On the other hand you were scared. As an incubus, V merely saw you a source of energy to feed from, something to help him survive, you thanked him for being considerate enough to at least ask for your consent to it, even going as far as treat you affectively so that you can get some pleasure from the experience too. But what if in the end you find yourself wanting more than just that? What if you start developing feelings for V? You weren’t sure to handle falling in love with someone that would never return your feelings, what if you refused to accept this was merely a one-time exchange?

Your mind and body were torn between accepting V’s offer or refusing it. You needed to think about it more

“I’m not sure what to answer, this has been completely sudden. Can I have some time to think about it?”

You were kind of expecting V to react negatively, annoyed that you wouldn’t decide just yet. He surprised you once again when he simply nodded, that gentle smile never leaving his face.

“You may take all the time you need to consider it, dear (Y/N). In fact…”

With a graceful movement of his right hand, a black feather materialized just above his palm, a feather you immediately recognized.

Noticing your awestruck expression, he let out an amused chuckle. “Familiar isn’t it? This feather I gifted to you the night of your first dream. It’s how I’ve been able to make sure nothing bad ever happened to you little one.”

Handing the feather to you, he continued “When you make your decision, when you feel absolutely sure about your answer, I want you to kiss this feather, and I shall come to you in an instant.”

“Thanks, V.” You smiled at him, a lovely blush decorating your cheeks.

“Now now my precious (Y/N), I’m afraid it is terribly late. May I tuck you in if it’s not too inappropriate for me to ask?”

You nodded bashfully. Climbing onto your bed and laying down, you let V pull the covers over you. For some reason, you felt much warmer and comfortable than before, maybe he was using his magic to help you relax and fall asleep?

“Now before I go…” He then leaned down and pressed a loving kiss on your forehead. You let out a small gasp as a little orb of light emerged from where he pressed his lips, floating aimlessly before he caught it with his fingers.

“Just taking back the dreams I planted in you. I figure they have bothered your slumber more than enough, my apologies if they ever caused you any disturbance.”

You saw him pick his cane that was resting on the wall next to the bookshelves before going toward the glass doors that lead to the balcony.

“Sweet dreams form a shade, O'er my lovely infants head. Sweet dreams of pleasant streams, by happy silent moony beams.” He turned to look at you one last time “Goodnight my little one. I’ll see you soon.”

And with those words, he disappeared into the night.

[mokkoriness]

ROCK AND READ BAND 003 A9 Interview

Something will awaken in these "beautiful beasts"?! Let's take another look at A9's origins before their 15th year anniversary!

There will be an "important announcement" 10 days after this magazine is released, on August 10 at Hibiya Open-Air Concert Hall. As we look forward to the live show, let's take a look at their 15-year history. The members were frank and open about everything, such as unknown backstories that some members learned about for the first time from before the band formed, discord during the period they were classified as neo Visual-kei, and setbacks at their International Forum Hall A show, which became a turning point for them. That they can be so honest here is surely because they are in a better place now.

A9, who are celebrating their 15th year anniversary this year, first released the 15TH ANNIVERSARY BEST ALBUMS "Kachou no Chou" and "Fuugetsu no Shi", re-recordings of songs chosen by the members, on April 24th. This was something that was kind of expected. The issue is then what came after that.

Show: Yes (laughs). Many things.

Yes. On the first day on the tour on May 4th, you made some very interesting announcements. The tour that you are currently on now (interview took place in mid-June) in conjunction with those albums, "BEST OF A9 TOUR ALIVERSARY" had "A9 LAST ONE MAN TOUR" added to the tour title. Also, the tour final, which will take place on August 10th at Hibiya Open-Air Concert Hall, "BEST OF A9 TOUR ALIVERSARY FINAL A9 15TH ANNIVERSARY" also had "A9 LAST ONEMAN" added to the title. On this day, the band will make an "important announcement". On top of that, the live at Hibiya will be your last one man live, but it was announced that at the A9 festival live, "Beautiful Beast Fest.", to take place afterwards on August 24th, for some reason, even though it's A9's festival live, they will be the opening act. Although you are welcoming your 15th year anniversary, we don't know if A9 is in a celebratory mood or not (laughs). Today, while asking about a general outline of these last 15 years, I would also like to ask about the true meaning of these interesting announcements.

All: Sure.

In what aspects do you feel that this is your 15th anniversary year?

Nao: That my stiff shoulders won't go away. I'm joking (laughs). It would be that just looking at the number of songs we have, we have over 100 songs! Personally, it doesn't feel like we have that many songs. But we already have over 100 songs. That's amazing.

Show: We have about 120 songs.

Nao: The fact that the number of songs we have are in the triple digits actually makes it feel like we have been doing this for 15 years. Though saying we have been doing this for 15 years, we have always been doing this, so I don't actually feel the gravity of that. But taking the time to think about it, 15 years is quite some time. It's very long.

It's the length of time it would take for a newborn baby to reach third year in middle school. 15 years.

Nao: That's right. When fans tell me "I first started listening to you when I was in elementary school", it makes me think "Are you serious?!". When I think that those fans who were elementary school students back then are now adults and are full-fledged members of society, it really is a long period of time. It makes me actually feel just how long 15 years is.

Saga: I don't really get that feeling if you tell me a newborn baby would be in third year in middle school, but if I were to compare that length of time to a prison sentence, I do think "That's real long" (laughs).

It was just an example, but still (laughs).

Saga: Mine was a bad example, but putting it in terms of prison sentences makes it feel long.

Tora: That's true!

Saga: Just try imagining "A9 in prison for 15 years". It would make you think that we weren't able to be out in the free world for quite a long time.

Tora: Gahahaha.

On the other side of the fence.

Saga: Right. Don't bands have an element that is detached from the real world, by nature? Although I do think we have to match our feeling to society, when you've been in a band this long, this feeling starts to disalign with that of society, and become different. Lately I've been getting this feeling that when you're not in the free world and on the other side of the fence for 15 years, "Even if we were to go out into the free world now, it would be impossible to live a normal life". I feel that I can no longer live a normal life. In our 15th year anniversary, I get this kind of feeling that even from now on, I'll be living like a lifetime gambler.

Tora: I might not even feel that we are in our 15th year at all. Because our band has had more events than I thought it would.

What do you mean by events?

Tora: We left our management company, and there were many other troubles and accidents (laughs).

And in actuality, you yourself had a big accident (emergency operation due to myocardial infarction) last year.

Tora: Since there were many things that happened, I feel like we were able to do this for 15 years without getting bored.

Hiroto: For me, I feel it at those moments when I get dejavu. Actually having experienced the moment in the past, recently, there's been plenty of times where I was like "I've felt this feeling in this situation before". I get that feeling when I'm with the members, and I've been getting it quite a lot at lives too. Right now, we're on tour for the best of album, and there have been many times where I felt "I don't quite remember it clearly since it was such a long time ago, but I've felt this feeling before". That is where I actually feel that we are in our 15th year.

Show: You might feel that quite a lot recently since we were on tour for "Kachou no Chou", the best of album that covers our early years. Now, we've started touring for "Fuugetsu no Shi", the best of album that covers our years as "Alice Nine". For each tour, we travelled across half of Japan. As for the way we built the setlist for the tours, we say that this particular block is for "Alpha1", and this block is for "VANDALIZE2", and we play 3 - 4 songs from the albums without any talk breaks in between. What I think when we do that kind of tour is...... Hehehe, the ladies in front of us go back to being "young girls". That is what I feel, looking out from the stage. "VANDALIZE" is the last album we released under KING RECORDS, and that was already 10 years ago. When we play songs from "VANDALIZE", those 25-year old ladies go back to being 15 years old. Although we probably can't compare ourselves to the "magic" that happens with bands such as BUCK-TICK, even for bands with a history such as ours, that kind of magic happens too. I really do feel that music transcends time.

In that way, it was a really good thing to have made these best of albums.

Show: That's right. The best of album itself was a project which started without any motivations like "If we released this, then our old fans will come back".

If I remember correctly, the best of albums were made with the goal of the current version of yourselves facing your older songs and drawing out the good qualities of the songs to complete them.

Show: That's right. But when we did that, many fans who we've not seen in a while came to see our live shows. I think that as a project, it was a good that we did that. Re-arranging over 20 songs at once, half-way through it seemed like Saga was going to work himself to death, and I did wonder if he would be okay. Honestly, I was worried about whether or not we would produce the results that corresponded to the efforts put into it, but we are currently on tour feeling that it was a good that we did this, so I'm relieved. Looking at the fans' faces during the live show and thinking that music really does transcend time, through the setlist that is packed with several albums of songs, I feel twice the weight of 15 years.

So, could you please tell us once again the details of how A9 was formed 15 years ago?

Show: If we were to give a proper explanation--

Saga: It's a band formed with members with really bad reputations.

Nao: (Looking at Saga) You didn't have a bad reputation, though?

Saga: Yeah, I didn't.

Nao: Neither did I.

Show & Saga: You did, you did!

Nao: What?! I'm sure I didn't~ (laughs).

Show: To be completely honest, Hiroto, Nao, and myself were invited to be in another band. When I asked Nao "So, are we gonna be in this band?", he was like "Nope, not me".

Nao: Gahahahaha. You're making me out to be the bad guy (laughs).

Show: Before that, Saga and Nao--

Nao: That was at Rokumeikan3, right?

Saga: Right.

Nao: I barged into the place and suddenly said to Saga "Be in my band", and exchanged contact info with him.

Saga: Even though I was still in another band.

Nao: At the time, I thought my life was in a dangerous spot, so I had no time to care about others around me.

Since your band had already disbanded at the time, you were desperate.

Nao: Yes. It was just at the time where the internet was getting more widespread, and after looking at many bands on the internet, I thought "Him. He's good".

Saga: So I was chosen in the same way people choose prostitutes from a webpage (laughs). By Nao.

Show: That's an awful analogy (laughs).

Nao: So when I saw him play live at Rokumeikan, he was exactly as I thought he would be like, so I spared no time to go and convince him to start a band with me.

Show & Hiroto & Tora: Ahh~.

Show: Even though we've been together for 15 years, it's my first time hearing about it in such detail.

Nao: I was in a really dangerous spot back then.

Saga: It was unheard of. He tried to headhunt me even though the other band members were standing right in front of us.

Nao: Hahaha. That is crazy.

Saga: It was that bravery of Nao, who had tried to headhunt me in that situation, that won me over.

Show: Amazing!!

Hiroto: That is amazing.

Saga: It left a strong impression on me.

Show: That's a nice story. It really is my first time hearing that he charged into Rokumeikan.

Hiroto: I've only heard the story from the point in time when these two (Nao and Saga) were together and other other two (Show and Tora) were together. So this is my first time hearing this.

Despite it being your 15th year, you finally discovered the truth!

Hiroto: That's right.

Saga: But I had my own circumstances, and it had only been about half a year since I joined that band. So when Nao came upon me at that time, I said "It's definitely too early to quit". On top of that, I had been added to the band after they formed, so I kept thinking over it quite a lot. I mean, what kind of person would it make me, to quit at that time? But under the pressure of Nao's energy, I thought about joining his band.

Nao: Umm, you might have forgotten, but at that time, Saga had said to me, "I'm in the process of joining another band, and we already have the members finalized".

Saga: Huh? Really? I was invited to join quite a lot of bands.

Nao: That's right.

You were really popular.

Saga: Yes. I was at peak popularity. As a bassist, I'm just right.

Show: Ever since back then, Saga was a bassist that could make a band not doing so well have a "big break", simply because "the bassist is good-looking".

Amazing!!

Hiroto: What do you mean "just right"? You stood out like no one's business. When you looked at the flyers, all you could look at was him. And that "him" was Saga.

Saga: It certainly is true that I was popular among band members. Even though I'm not that social.

You received invitations from everywhere to join their band.

Saga: Right. But even among all that, Nao had left an especially strong impression on me, like "This guy is crazy".

Nao: So with the band Saga was invited to join, the members actually were in the middle of joining a management company.

Saga: That's right.

Show: Were you at the stage where they would treat you to BBQ meat from Jojoen4?

Saga: Right, that's right! I ate BBQ meat and they treated me well. At that time, I had already pulled Nao into this new band.

Nao: And so I was also treated to BBQ meat from Jojoen.

Hiroto: How cunning of him (laughs).

Nao: Yeah! Gahahaha!

Saga: At that time, Show & Tora had contacted Nao about starting a new band.

Show: That's right. I called Nao at about 10 in the morning. What I remember Nao saying to me at the time was just this one phrase: "I'm strict, you know?".

Nao: Puhahahahaha!

Show: His enthusiasm was at another level. Even at that time, Nao said "We're already old men compared to the young kids, so we can't keep starting new bands. My next band will be my last band". It really felt like he was on the edge of a cliff.

Saga: Right. Hearing that about Nao, I also got infected with that feeling, and even I started to get this "Oh crap" feeling. There was no other way about it, and we thought we better make a decision. So we spoke openly to the management company that treated us to BBQ meat, right? If I remember correctly, Nao contacted them.

Nao: Right. When I told them, "To be honest, it's impossible to go in the same direction with these members and be serious about this, so we quit", they were really kind and listened to us, and said "It is what it is". Because of that, Saga and I were able to form a band with Show and Tora.

Hiroto: By the way, I received an invitation to join the band of the president of that company.

Show & Tora: Oh?

Hiroto: But this was after I had met the other four, so I was also honest and said, "There's another band that I want to be in", and they understood, and said to me "Do your best".

Show: Wow. So after myself, Tora, Nao, and Saga got together, the four of us made an assault on the disbandment live of Hiroto's band.

Saga: We sure did.

Hiroto: I think the live the four of you came to was before the disbandment live? Because the band that these two (Nao and Saga) were in also played at the disbandment live.

Nao: Really?

Hiroto: "Really?", he says (laughs).

Show: Even his own memories are getting fuzzy.

Nao: I don't remember.

Saga: Right! It was the band in the management company that treated us to BBQ meat. We were serious about the band, so we played live shows and put in the effort. But Nao was pissed off all the time. To the point I felt sorry for the other members.

Nao: Even though I joined the band later, I had the most complaints. It was after putting in the effort that I had spoke to the company about it being impossible to continue working with these members.

I see. Hearing these stories, it feels like it was Nao's passion and seriousness that led the way to the formation of A9.

Saga: I think it is correct to say that Nao's passion formed the band.

Show: When we joined PS Company, I had even said to the manager at the time "I don't want to stand out, so can you write on Wikipedia that the "Nao formed the band"?".

Really?

Show: Yes. I'm serious. The manager had said to me that being a vocalist is a huge mental strain, so I shouldn't be the leader. So I discussed it with Nao, and ever since joining the company, Nao had taken on the role of leader.

Hiroto & Saga: Oh~.

Nao: All I remember is that the company president said to me "NaoNao, you be the leader".

But to think that it was for the sake of reducing the mental strain on Show.

Nao: What about the mental strain on me (laughs)?

Well, now that you mention it (laughs).

Show: So until the band formed, Nao had been pressing forward and had a lot of enthusiasm, but right after we formed the band, Nao had kind of deflated.

Nao: Nahahahahaha.

Show: He wouldn't show up to rehearsals or would show up late. He did a complete 180 from his serious self.

Saga: There were even times when he didn't show up for interviews.

I can't even imagine it, seeing how he is today.

Show: I know, right? But he went through such times.

Tora: I even answered some interview questions for Nao.

Show: Yeah, you did.

Tora: I randomly wrote answers, like "Q: What is your ideal type of girl? A: Yumi Adachi".

Nao: Ahahahahahahaha!

Show: On top of that, when we were deciding on our band name, only Nao had already gone home. So we had no choice but to decide between the four of us at the restaurant.

Hiroto: It was at a fast-food restaurant. We wrote down band name ideas on the napkins and folded them so you couldn't see the name. Then we opened them one by one, and one of the names was "アリス九5".

Oh. By the way, what were the other potential band names?

Show: "ROSSO", "KORN", and "Ms. Anita".

Tora: Gahahahaha! I remember that.

Show: There were already bands called "ROSSO" and "KORN", and "Ms. Anita" was the name of a foreigner who was in the news headlines at the time, so the only band name that we could use was "アリス九".

Is that so? To go back a little bit, when the five of you got together, for you, Nao, did you get the feeling that this was something you could pour your soul into, as your last band?

Nao: I thought that with these members, we could do something, and I could bet my life on this. I thought it was something I could get serious about.

So what was the reason behind you wanting to join PS Company?

Show: From around our third live show, we suddenly got more people coming to see us. Nao was already a famous bandman, Saga was already famous and more people will show up with just him being in the band, and myself and Tora were also famous, in many ways (laughs). So in the 2 - 3 months after starting the band, one of Hiroto's acquaintances was handling all the calls. For tickets and such. But they said they couldn't sleep because their phone wouldn't stop ringing. So we were at the limit of doing things on our own.

Nao: There were also some livehouses you couldn't rent out if you weren't a corporation. We thought that we couldn't go beyond this, so we started talking about joining a management company.

Hiroto: So we thought if we were going to join a company now, it would be PS Company.

Show: With Nao's connections, we got ourselves a black and white page in SHOXX6 that introduced our band. the GazettE's manager at the time saw it and apparently talked about it in PS Company, like "These kids are going to make it big". So we handed a proposal that outlined the band and a demo tape to the underling of that manager.

So you kind of made presentation material for the band?

Show: That's right. About a month after that, the company president listened to it and contacted us. They apparently decided that if we came late, they wouldn't let us join. At the time, the president told us that because we showed up on time, we were able to join the company.

Hiroto: We went to go meet them at around 11 at night. All of us.

Show: The meeting ended at around 5 in the morning, and after that, we went to one of the member’s houses...... Now that we've come this far, we have to tell the truth (laughs). If we don't, it will be inconsistent.

Saga: To give the true story, we had actually played at a PS Company event once before meeting them. At the time, we were kind of dropping hints to them that we wanted to join the company. If I remember correctly, we also handed them some presentation material directly. At the time, they had told us "Now is not a good time".

Hiroto: Oh yeah! For about a month after that, we really didn't hear anything from them.

Saga: Just when we were about to give up, they contacted us.

Was that around the time when the GazettE had joined PS Company and they were going full steam ahead?

Hiroto: They were. It was also right after MIYAVI and Kagrra, made their major debut.

Saga: People have always said that we were a band that PS Company made. People around us often said to us things like "You're a band that PS Company made just by bringing together good-looking people, right?".

People did say that (laughs).

Saga: That's not the case at all.

Show: It's just as you have read in this interview.

Saga: It's a band that Nao had formed.

So where did the band concept of "blending of Japanese and Western style", which アリス九號. had at the time, come from?

Show: The management company had said to us "Come up with a catchphrase about what your band is about", so it's only just something that was added on.

Hiroto: At the time we joined PS Company, all the bands had a catchphrase that was kind of like a subtitle for them.

Show: It was a phrase added to our name because of the company rule.

Saga: Did we have that subtitle attached to our name?

Hiroto: No. We refused to have it. Right from the beginning, we never did what we were told.

Even though in PS Company, you look most like the honour students, but you actually weren't.

Hiroto: Yeah. We didn't add anything ourselves, because we were like "We can only come up with lame phrases!".

You refused to add a subtitle, but you listened to the company when they told you to put a period at the end of the band name.

Show: That was instructions given to us after the fengshui of the band's name was examined.

Hiroto: As we joined PS Company, they said to us "The number of strokes in your band name isn't good. There's one stroke missing, so change your band name".

Show: So I said "Then I'll just add a dot on the end", and we became "アリス九號.".

At first, your name was "アリス九", right?

Show: Yes. When I was writing down our band's name at Takadanobaba AREA7, the staff there said, "Oh, it's like Sakamoto Kyu (坂本九)". I also thought that "アリス九" didn't have much of an impact, so I just added a "號" to the end. Because it seemed like a strong word. Even I was quite proud of myself, to know such an old word like "號".

Now that you think about it, in 2004, when the band had formed, you had already changed your name twice, from "アリス九" to "アリス九號" to "アリス九號.".

All: Oh!

So in your 5th year, you changed your name from "アリス九號." to "Alice Nine". What were your activities like in the time since joining the company and changing your band name to an English stylisation?

Nao: The feeling was different from what it is now. At the time, just by being able to film music videos and being able to record in a proper studio made me think "Wow, we're like pros. It really feels like we're doing music". I was glad.

Were there any dramatic changes since joining the company?

Tora: At the time, there were lots of magazines, and we pretty much appeared in all of them and more.

"All of them and more"? It was that many?

Hiroto: We even appeared in extra editions of magazines.

Show: We appeared in loads of magazines.

Hiroto: Around our third year, whenever we released an album or single, we would be in all the magazines in the music magazine section at bookstores. On top of that, we were also in idol magazines that other bands weren't in.

You were!

Tora: So the toughest thing was that for about 20 days of the month, we would be doing photoshoots for magazines. Since we also had to go on tour with that kind of schedule, the toughest thing was not having the time for band practice, the most important thing. The band was still not a cohesive one, and from such an early stage, where it wasn't as though we had a song that was killing the charts, we were already rushing forward into that kind of thing. So at any rate, we did photoshoots, to the point where I didn't know if we were a band or models.

Show: Just around our third year, the term "Neo Visual-kei" was coined. The NHK music show "MUSIC JAPAN" held a "Neo Visual-kei Midsummer Party", and that was suddenly the trend at the time. We thought that we had to secure a spot there. It was that kind of time. I think that is also why we were appearing a lot in media. So the phrase "Neo Visual-kei" was coined, and when people wondered "So which bands are Neo Visual-kei?", it was our seniors Plastic Tree and MUCC. But don't you get the feeling that if kids like us were to actually go in there to compete with them, we would get roasted? So that was the trend at the time, and for better or for worse, we were there at around the same time. In the world of entertainment, there are limitations to the things that someone can make by themselves. HYDE had once said to me "The world needs trends too". I think that truly amazing people can read the trends of the time and get on board with that. But for us, we went ahead recklessly, and before we knew it, we found ourselves in that trend.

Without you even knowing it.

Show: Right. To begin with, when we started our band, it was at the time where "Visual-kei" was losing its popularity. So I didn't even imagine that we would be appearing on TV or playing at Nippon Budokan8. It's just that at that time, this was the trend.

Along with the birth of the phrase "Neo Visual-kei", things were stirring up in the world and in the music scene.

Show: Yes. BAROQUE was an early adapter, and bands such as ourselves, SID, the GazettE, and NIGHTMARE were being labelled as "Neo Visual-kei". That era ended fantastically with Golden Bomber. I think they were able to bring a close to the era because they are the real deal, and not just copying our seniors.

I see. Even among the "Neo Visual-kei" bands, was it the company that thought to set you apart from the rest by really putting it out there that in terms of looks, you were like an "idol band" or "princes"?

Show: There was not even a single time where the company could properly control us.

Saga: We had good looks. Compared to other bands. So even if we didn't put it out there, it just appeared that we did. That's all it was. Maybe the company or record label wanted to put our looks at the forefront, but it's not as though we purposely did that kind of thing. So that it appeared that way was only natural.

Show: So from then on, we just owned it, like "Yeah, that's right". For example, it had taken us 14 years to be able to use the "prince" thing of our own volition.

Until at your 14th anniversary live, "ALICE IN CASTLE -Princes from the Stars and the Castle of the Moon", where the five of you played the part of princes.

Show: Yes, that's right.

Nao: But for me, back then, hearing people calling us a good-looking band made me think "Oh, so I'm good-looking too?". It made me so happy I was smirking all the time.

Show: Even back then, Nao was famous for being the good-looking drummer of Fatima. Apart from YOSHIKI, who is in a whole other dimension, there weren't really any other star drummers.

Even if you didn't voluntarily use it to your advantage, between yourselves, were you at least a little bit aware from the beginning that the band was full of good-looking people?

Show: Isn't that something we all instinctively felt? In Saga's previous band, he was so much more cooler than the other members. Even with Tora, when I first saw him, there were only fans on the stage left side, where Tora was. At the time, he was working up the crowd by hopping from side to side though. I was confused by that.

Even though he was cool, you didn't understand the point of doing that.

Tora: Nahahahaha.

Show: But I thought "Wow" (laughs). Hiroto being Hiroto, he was a guitarist that stood even further in front of the vocalist and stood out.

Saga: Even though the vocalist was singing, he would be shouting in an excessively loud voice "Let's go!", and be making gestures.

Wahahaha. So what did you think when you first saw Show?

Tora: He was cool. I remember him singing from a really low position. He was pretty much singing from the ground. I thought "What's with that guy?".

Nao: Really?

Show: I've never talked about this before, but I liked FANATIC♢CRISIS' RYUJI The most. He would spread out his legs really far and play from a low position. So I sang with that kind of style in mind.

Saga: I want to see that. Him singing from really close to the ground.

Tora: But when it's like that, it's Visual-kei but also not Visual-kei. I felt something with Show that I had never felt before, and I thought he was really cool.

Saga: The first impression I got from Show was "his face doesn't match his voice". From his face, I thought he was the cute type, but when I heard his voice, he wasn't like that at all. Since his voice was deep and dark, I thought it was interesting.

Show: I think what Saga and Tora saw was when I was in my very first band. Up until then, I had never been in a Visual-kei band before, let alone seen one play before. I had look at the "looking for members" section in "Rockin f (technical music magazine)", and applied to be in a SlipKnot copyband. That was a band where they said to me "All you have to do is go nuts. Don't worry about the singing"...... Are we even going to be able to talk about our 15th year at this pace?

Tora: That's because you just took us back in time again (laughs).

I do want to ask about those times again. When the five of you came together, what ideas did you have about the kind of musical direction you would take?

Saga: I get the feeling that we didn't do what everyone else at the time was doing. That's why from the very beginning, we had a lot of songs that emphasized the singing.

Tora: I might have even talked about it.

Hiroto: So he took the lead and went to go sell his 7-string guitar. And instead, he went and bought a Clapton model guitar and said "We should play the kind of music you can play with this guitar".

Nao: Wow.

Tora: I thought that this wasn't the kind of band that needed a 7-string guitar.

When did you think that?

Tora: When it was time to stand on stage, everyone was shining brightly. It was at that time. At first, I thought it would be better for me to watch things from the back, so when we formed the band, I used to stand where Saga stands now. My personality is not the type to want to put myself out there, so my approach was "I'll just stand back here, and all of you can go to the front". So when I watched the band from that position, I thought that we didn't need a 7-string guitar. It would be better for us to do upbeat songs.

Is that so? So let's move on from when the band formed. During the band's 5th year, why did you change the band stylization from "アリス九號." to the English stylization "Alice Nine"?

Show: We had intended to change the band stylization to "Alice Nine" in 2005, but at the time, the company was against it. So in 2009, we were finally about to get our way. That's all.

What were activities like after you changed the stylization to "Alice Nine"? You also played at Nippon Budokan for the very first time in 2011.

Show: To be honest, we were not able to play at Budokan when the band was at peak popularity. Our peak popularity was around our 4th year. After that, when we left KING RECORDS, which we had been signed to since the beginning, we took a break and lost many fans. I want to let everyone know that you shouldn't take a break, if possible (laughs). Since 2007, having been dragged to the center stage as a Neo Visual-kei band, we were led by the nose by the adults and changed record labels twice. We even reached the decision to leave our management company, and we suffered quite a lot of hardships.

In terms of public image, it doesn't seem like you are a band that had quite a lot of hardships, though.

Nao: That's certainly true. That's how people tend to think of us. Although I do think it's because when we debuted, we rushed straight ahead without any struggles.

Show: Maybe so. For me, even though I'm a vocalist, I was actually better at things other than singing. Although I think the members accepted me because of the way I carried myself on stage, to be completely honest, I was at the level where I needed to become a professional singer. I was a strategist and a designer, but as a musician, when you looked underneath the surface, I had no self-confidence whatsoever. I had lost the power to express things. Also as a band, the adults had started saying things to us like "Write that kind of song" or "Write this kind of song", or "Get a composer to write you a hit". At the time, Saga had said "No, we'll write it ourselves", and the songs he wrote while giving a big "fuck you" to the adults was "JEWELS" and "RAINBOWS". It was from then that this feeling was born that we're not just pretty faces, and that to a certain extent, we had a kind of spirit as a rock band. But still, singing was very difficult for me. Unless you're a person that has liked singing from a young age, and keeps listening to your own voice, critiquing yourself saying "If I did this, I'll be able to sing better", and do it for a long time, you shouldn't become a professional singer. Because singing really is difficult.

But that said, since quitting the company, you've made leaps and bounds as a vocalist.

Show: Now I know how to practice, but back then, I didn't even know how to practice, and I think my singing was plain awful (awkward smile). But what's amazing about the members is that they never once said to me "It's because of your awful signing that we never made it big".

Wow. That's a nice story. I get the feeling that's another reason why the band was able to keep on doing this for 15 years.

Nao: I don't really compliment people, but I think that Show's voice is one of a kind, and the best. I thought that from the beginning.

Hiroto: I thought the same when the band had formed. Even if there are things like technique and pitch, you cannot change the voice itself.

You must be happy to hear that, Show.

Show: All of the members are wonderful people. I think that that's another reason why the band was able to continue. However, one thing I will mention is that after our first time playing at International Forum Hall A, all Nao had said to me was "Show, let's do our best, okay?" (laughs).

Nao: I didn't mean it like that~! I didn't mean just you, but as a band, we should do our best.

Nao was crying backstage after the show was over. What was behind those tears?

Nao: Up until then, we were doing things without any reservation, and I thought that we were perhaps too flippant about it. Those were tears of me reflecting on ourselves, that we should have put more effort into it.

Show: Forum Hall A painfully lays it bare. The upper floors were pitch black. At the time, only about 2700 people had come to see us (the hall fits 5000 people). Seeing that would want to make anyone want to cry.

Nao: It was simply frustrating.

Tora: I have poor eyesight, so I didn't realize it at all.

Nao: Gahahaha!

Hiroto: I thought that the scene in front of us was reality, and accepted that reality. I thought that this was the result of everything we had done up until then.

Saga: From the beginning, I thought there was no way we would fill up the hall. Despite that, truth be told, we were about to play there for two consecutive days. Looking at it objectively, I thought the people around us were acting strange. I thought "Is filling up the hall such an easy feat?". In time, the two consecutive shows was changed to just one show. It was then that things had stopped for me. The vigour we had since forming the band stopped and we came back to reality. It was there that I felt the sense of danger, that we were in a bad spot.

I see. So how did the band recover from that?

Saga: I thought that all we could do is write proper songs, that we had to draw out the charm of our band more. I saw the reality that we could not get any more fans just by having pretty faces. Even with practice, it's not quite what Show was talking about, but without knowing if what we were doing was right or wrong, we kept practicing. The lesson we took from Forum Hall A was that with practice, it was something that had to be done seriously. That's why I wasn't sad that we didn't fill out the entire hall. It was more like "Well, of course not". It was around here. I was the one to wake up from that dream first. My eyes were wide open.

So that was the fork in the road where Alice Nine awoke as a rock band.

Saga: That's right.

Nao: Because of that exprience, from then on, I practiced like crazy. I was in the studio so often to the point you wondered if I lived in the studio. So I think that empty Forum Hall provided the band with good motivation.

After that, when the band was welcoming its 10th year anniversary, you graduated from your management company and started to do things on your own.

Saga: We were indebted to the company, but when we considered our life from that point onwards, we were no longer able to leave everything to them. When looking at our future, we thought that we had to do this ourselves.

Show: Because we thought that humans don't grow and don't have a future if they don't take on risks. That company had taken good care of us, as if we were family. After leaving, it made me think once again that they are a good company, but at the time, we chose to take on the risks. That we can do activities like this now is the socially correct thing, I think.

After graduating from the company, you changed the band name from "Alice Nine" to "A9", and restarted activities. What do you think about that now?

Show: We didn't want to fight with our previous company, so we proceeded logically and changed our name to "A9". Even now, I think that we made the right choice.

Where did the name "A9" come from?

Saga: The phrase "A9" was already there before we even became A9. I don't remember who said it though.

Hiroto: At first, that's what our Chinese fans called us.

Nao: Oh.

Hiroto: So when it came to changing our band name, we didn't want to change it to something that was competely unrelated, so we settled on "A9".

Even after becoming A9 and going independent, you were faced with many difficulties.

Show: If we were to go into detail about that, it would take another 3 hours (laughs). We had a lot of hardships, but now we are at our best. I also feel very grateful that the media will still cover us, like right now. Because this is a chance for us to present ourselves to the people who watch us from a distance, like "A9 is Alice Nine, right? They're still around?". Since going independent, we had met L'Arc~en~Ciel's Ken, and regarding what we could contribute to society, we started to think again about what our strengths were. From the dilemma that we felt about being called "princes" or an "idol band" when we debuted, we accepted the fact, and we started to think about how we could use this to make people happy, and what we could offer to add flair to the audience's experience. Those are the kind of activities we are doing now.

Among those activities, you showed us many surprising performances, such as going back to your roots of a blending of Eastern and Western styles, setting aside your instruments on stage to dance, and even trying out acting. I get the feeling that through this, it has revitalized the image of the band amongst fans.

Show: There was that. Also, we want to play at event lives, but I think that we became a band where it was difficult for others to invite us to play with them. Since we know what our strengths are and we are using it. That is why we decided to host an event ourselves for our 15th year anniversary. If you are reading this and want to see what we are like, I ask that you do come see us.

The A9 that knows what its strengths are now, and is using it.

Show: Yes, because as a Visual-kei band that was around in the 2000s, we can now do our activities properly considering how we can make the audience happy. Be it at Hibiya or Studio Coast9, I would like for them to come see us.

I think that wanting to make the audience happy is connected to that slogan the band had since the beginning, of "the customer is king". Where did this complete approach of "fans first" come from?

Show: It's not as though we want to flatter them (the fans). I think the true essence of Visual-kei is "entertainment". In a different format to the Visual-kei that YOSHIKI had invented, if our generation were to reinterpret Visual-kei and give it a definition, it would be for us to get to the venue much earlier than normal rock bands to do our makeup and to create and wear non-normal outfits to express a world view for the sake of the audience. By doing so, I think that the attitude of entertaining the audience as a part of show business is an element of Visual-kei that allows it to also compete on the world stage. I think that is perhaps the conclusion we reached after these 15 years.

Finally, let me ask about what is on our minds the most. You added the interesting title of "A9 LAST ONEMAN" to the tour that leads to your show at Hibiya. What is the meaning behind that?

Show: I think that you can pretty much guess what that means from the mood of this interview, where there isn't a single indication that we're going to disband (laughs).

1 Album released in November 2007 under the band name アリス九號. 2 Album released in January 2009 under the band name アリス九號. 3 A livehouse in Meguro, Tokyo. It is known as one of the "holy places" for Visual-kei bands. 4 A relatively expensive bbq meat franchise. 5 Literally translates to "Alice Nine", but stylistically different to the actual band name "アリス九號." 6 A Japanese Visual-kei magazine (no longer in publication). 7 A livehouse in Takadanobaba, Tokyo. It is another "holy place" for Visual-kei bands, and being able to play here is like a milestone for bands. 8 A large indoor arena in Chiyoda, Tokyo. 9 A large concert venue in Shinkiba, Tokyo.

[magicalmarauder]

Panic

A/N: This is my first Shawn imagine, hope everyone enjoys it! :) 

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: Y/N is dating Shawn Mendes and is home alone in their shared apartment while he is on tour and her appendix bursts. Angst and fluff ensues!

You groaned in frustration, burying your head into the pillow as you curled further into a tight ball on yours and Shawns bed, trying your best to ignore the pain that was slowly gripping you. Today had been your second day with this nasty stomach virus that had been so fiercely plaguing you. It seemed as if the constant nausea, vomiting, chills, and stomach pain would not leave and all you wanted was your boyfriend with you to help take care of you. But instead, he was on the other side of the globe being the huge rockstar that he was. Not to get you wrong, you were incredibly proud of your amazing boyfriend, but it was times like these where you really wished that he had a career that didn’t take him so far away from you and so often. It seemed like every time you turned around, he was jetting off somewhere new.

Currently, he was in London preparing to play Wembley Stadium, which was a huge accomplishment and you were so, so proud of him, but again, you couldn’t help but wish that he was here with you to make you some soup and cuddle with you until you started feeling better.

But alas, wishing it to be so wouldn’t do anything. This was your reality and you had to face it.

Before you could continue down that rabbit hole of self-despair any further, your phone began vibrating and you groaned, blindly reaching over to the bedside table and pressing accept without even looking to see who was on the other end.

“Hello?” You moaned pathetically, voice hoarse.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Shawn’s sweet voice greeted you from the other end of the line. “Still not feeling well?”

You grunted in response, the pain feeling more unbearable than it had the last day or so. Maybe you should go to the doctor? This couldn’t be normal, could it? You should be getting better not worse, right?

“Are you taking anything for the pain?” Shawn questioned in concern, the background noise fading slightly as Shawn presumably moved to a less crowded area in order to hear you more clearly.

“Yeah, I took some pain medicine about an hour or two ago,” you explained pathetically, “but it hasn’t helped at all. I’m still nauseous and throwing up and my stomach still hurts too much for me to get comfortable or really get any sleep. I tried taking a sleeping pill last night, but it didn’t really help any.” Thinking back to the past two nights made your head pound in pain and frustration. You didn’t think you had gotten more than forty-five minutes of sleep at a time and even that had been fitful.

Tears slipped down your face as all the pain and frustration finally wore you down to the point of tears. “I wish you were here with me,” you whispered softly, knowing it was a fruitless thought, but needing to get it out in the air anyway. Although you knew Shawn was needed in London right now, you also couldn’t help how you felt. And if that made you selfish, you just couldn’t find the energy to care at the moment. You were sick and miserable and all you wanted was your cuddly boyfriend.

Shawn sighed, sounding slightly irritated. “You know I can’t be there right now, Y/N. I have to work.”

From just the tone of his voice at the moment, you could clearly picture him running his hand through his hair in frustration, the circumstances of the situation affecting him more than he would like to admit. Despite the fact that Shawn was incredibly hard-working and would do anything for his fans, in his heart even he couldn’t deny that at times it was too much and wish that he could be a normal boyfriend there for his girlfriend when she needed him.

“I know, Shawn. There’s just sometimes that I wish it could be different.”

Despite the fact that Shawn had literally just been thinking the exact same thing, he found himself becoming angry with his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, baby, but this is how it is,” he stated briskly. “We both knew what we were getting into when we started dating. This shouldn’t be a surprise.”

You recoiled, surprised to hear your boyfriend using such a harsh tone with you. If you were thinking rationally, you would probably have more patience in this moment, understanding that he was just as frustrated as you were with the fact that he couldn’t be there for you at the moment. However, you were sleep-deprived, sick, and annoyed with how he had just spoken to you. So, instead of responding in patience and understanding as you should have done, you allowed all of those negative emotions to flow over you.

“Well,” you started tiredly. “Considering that I’m exhausted and feel like death, I’m going to go now. You obviously don’t even care enough. So, I’ll just talk to you later. Goodby-.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Shawn interrupted immediately, trying to catch you before you hung up the phone on him. “I’m sorry, baby. I know I shouldn’t have said that, I just wish that I could be there with you. It’s hard being so far away from you normally, but especially when you’re not feeling good and you need me there to take care of you. I just feel like the world’s worst boyfriend.” He sighed out, hoping that his honesty would earn him some points back into your good graces.

“I know, Shawn,” you sighed. “I’m sorry too. I’m just frustrated and wish you were here with me, but I understand that you’re needed there now. I think I am going to go though, I really do want to try and get some more rest.”

“Okay, sleep well, Y/N,” Shawn murmured, still not feeling right about the bizarre little argument that the two of you had somehow found yourselves in. “I hope you start feeling better soon. Please call me if anything happens.”

“I will,” you promised softly, your head still throbbing from the conversation. “Have a good show tonight.”

“Thanks, gorgeous. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, bye.”

You placed the phone back onto the bedside table, snuggling further under the covers and hoping that sleep would claim you quickly in order to offer a bit of a reprieve from the constant pain you had been in for the past few days.

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You were awakened by a sharp, stabbing pain in your right side that instantly had you gasping and clutching your abdomen. Okay, you thought to yourself, this is definitely not normal. Tears slipped down your face as you wondered what you should do. You were all alone at the apartment. Your parents lived over an hour away, too far for them to come pick you up and drive you to the hospital in time. You didn’t understand what was going on with you, but you knew it was something serious that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible.

As you pondered what to do, you remembered a conversation that you had had with Shawn’s mom not too long ago when you were discussing her son and his insane traveling schedule. If you ever need anything while Shawn’s away, don’t hesitate to give me a call, okay sweetie?

At the time, you hadn’t planned on calling with anything. You were a big girl and you could take care of yourself after all. However, this was a situation that was definitely out of your hands. Therefore, as quickly as you could you grabbed your phone, searching for the name, and dialing.

“Hello?” A voice answered on the other end of the line and you almost sobbed in relief.

“Karen?” You questioned, tears falling down your face in pain and fear. “Can I ask for a favor?”

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Shawn walked off stage after his big show with a large grin plastered across his face and sweat dripping from his brow. Wow, he thought to himself. I cannot believe I just did that! Selling out and playing Wembley Stadium had always been a dream of his, one that he could not believe had actually come true. The only thing that would make this better would be if his girlfriend could be here to share this moment with him.

He sighed, thoughts wandering to the conversation he had had with her before the show had started. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper and snap at her like he did, but he had just been so frustrated and by so many things. Yes, he loved his job and he relished these opportunities to travel and share his music with his fans, but it was so hard sometimes. And then he felt guilty for feeling that way. Like he was ungrateful or something. His fans were the reason he was able to live out his dream, travel the world, write music, meet so many other incredible artists, and so on and so on. If being away from loved ones was his price to pay, it wasn’t that immense in the grand scheme of everything. However, there were times, times like today, where that was hard to believe and if he was being truly honest with himself, where he would trade anything in the world in order to be by your side, including sacrificing his music career.

He walked further backstage, already feeling that post-show adrenaline high beginning to fade. Performing in front of thousands of people was truly a feeling like no other, one that he couldn’t even begin to put into words, even years later and well into his music career.

Walking into his dressing room, he grabbed his phone that he had left sitting haphazardly on the couch and opened it up, noticing he had three missed calls from his mom. He furrowed his brows in confusion. That was odd, he thought to himself.  His mom knew that he had a performance tonight. What if something’s wrong?His mind immediately going into a panicked state, worrying that something was wrong with his dad or with Aaliyah.

Before he could click on her contact name in order to call her back and figure out what on earth was going on, Andrew came speeding into his dressing room, a frantic expression glued to his face as his eyes landed on Shawn sitting there, confused and worried.

“Andrew?” He questioned, further descending into a state of panic, already figuring that whatever had Andrew on edge was the same thing that had caused his mom to call him multiple times despite the fact that she knew he was in the middle of a show. “What happened?” He asked, already fearing the answer.

“It’s Y/N,” Andrew choked out, eyes wide and fearful, dreading the task of delivering this news to Shawn.

Shawn felt his heart stop as he heard those two words before it kicked into overdrive, practically beating out of his chest. He tried to take a deep breath, calming himself. Okay, Shawn, just calm down, I’m sure she’s fine! I mean, she’s been at home sick all day. What possibly could have happened to her in the safety of your own home?

Thoughts and possibilities immediately rushed into his mind, his thoughts rushing to all sorts of horrible and somewhat ridiculous alternatives.

“Shawn!” Andrew yelled, pulling him out of his downward spiral. “Did you hear what I said?”

Shawn, unable to form coherent words at the moment, simply shook his head in response, anxiously awaiting his manager’s next words.

“Y/N started experiencing intense stomach pain not too long after your show started,” he began, trying to relay the information as smoothly and calmly as possible so as not to distress Shawn any more than necessary. “She called your mom, who took her to the hospital, but while they were on their way there, Y/N lost consciousness. It turns out she hadn’t had the stomach flu these past few days, but appendicitis. Her appendix burst in the car on the drive to the hospital. She’s in the operating room now, they’re doing emergency surgery as we speak.”

If Shawn wouldn’t have already been sitting, he would have fallen to the floor as he heard this news. His world completely stopped. Not you, he thought in agony. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. He felt like he was in shock, slightly disbelieving that this was even happening to him right now. This had to be some horrible dream that he would wake up from any second now only to find you safe and secure by his side. However, deep down he knew this wasn’t a dream that he could easily awaken from, but real life. You were truly in the hospital at that very moment, unconscious and being cut into. His hands started to shake and tears started forming in his eyes as he thought about you, all alone in your apartment, realizing that you were so sick and in so much pain that you needed to go to the emergency room. And he hadn’t been there for you.That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He was the worst boyfriend in the entire world. That same sentiment slammed into him, causing the tears to well and truly flow down his cheeks now in an unending torrent.

He jumped up, grabbing random things around him and stuffing them in the backpack that had been thrown carelessly on the floor only a few hours earlier. “I have to go,” he mumbled distractedly, mind running a million different directions, but his one focus being consistent: you. He had to get to you. He didn’t care how, all he knew was that he had to get to you. Now. “I have to see her, she has to be okay,” he cried, slowly crumbling before Andrew’s eyes. “I need to be there with her!” He shouted.

Andrew flinched slightly, eyes widened in sympathy. “I already took care of it, Shawn. I booked you the next flight back home. You leave in two hours and there’s a car waiting outside the stadium to take you to the airport. I’ve already talked to the manager’s here about postponing your show tomorrow. Y/N’s more important right now.”

Shawn breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that Andrew was understanding. He didn’t have the energy at the moment to throw a big fit about the necessity of leaving if Andrew had insisted he needed to stay for the show. “Thank you, man, I owe you one,” he stated, already making his way towards the door and dialing his mom’s number to alert her that he was on his way.

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The sound of steady beeping pierced through your consciousness, slowly bringing you back into awareness of the world around you. Blinking against the harsh light that welcomed you once you finally opened your eyes, you looked around, noticing that you were in a small hospital room.

Well, this can’t be good, you thought to yourself, not quite remembering how you had gotten here, what happened, or even what day it was.

Looking down, you noticed an IV poking out of your arm and you grimaced. You hated needles. At least you didn’t remember the actual moment of its insertion. That was a small relief.

As you continued to come to, you noticed that the pain in your abdomen had faded from that sharp, stabbing, unbearable pain to now a dull ache that was definitely more manageable than the former had been.

“You’re awake!” A relieved voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing you to turn your head at the noise only to be greeted by Karen, Shawn’s mom. She quickly set down the cup of coffee that was in her hand that she had presumably just returned from obtaining, before sitting down in the chair beside your bed and grabbing the hand that didn’t have the IV in place. “I have been so worried about you, sweetheart. You gave me a downright scare there, fainting on me like that!”

“I did?” You questioned. You didn’t remember that part. But then again, the last thing you could recall was waking up from your nap in unspeakable pain. So surely Shawn’s mom would be aware of the true nature of events. “What happened?” You asked hesitantly, wondering if you even wanted to know what had led to you waking up in the hospital. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, sweetie, you’re going to be just fine. You gave us all quite a scare, though,” she soothed, smoothing your hair down comfortingly.

“What happened?” You questioned again, anxiety rising higher with each passing moment.

“Shh, shh, shh,” she reassured. “Everything’s just fine, I promise. You had a pretty nasty case of appendicitis though,” she explained softly, once again grabbing your hand in reassurance. “Your symptoms over the past few days weren’t signs of the stomach flu, although they could be easily mistaken, but it was really appendicitis.”

You winced, knowing that appendicitis was not something to take lightly. People have died in the past from that. Why, oh why hadn’t you just gone to the doctor earlier? You knew that something had been seriously wrong. “How did I get here, though?”

“You called me up yesterday afternoon. You were in an awful amount of pain and you asked if I could drive you to the emergency room, but when we were on the way over here, you lost consciousness,” she stated, wincing slightly at the memory. “Thankfully, we weren’t very far away at that point and we were able to get you inside quickly and then up to surgery to have your appendix removed and your abdomen cleaned out.”

Your breaths started coming quicker and more raggedly. You had undergone surgery?! The girl who was terrified of having an IV put in, had gone through major surgery? You didn’t know what to think, panicking at the fact that if you hadn’t called Shawn’s mom when you did, you would likely be dead in your apartment right now. No one would have been able to get you to the hospital in time if your appendix had truly been that close to rupturing. Oh, God.

Shawn! You couldn’t even imagine what would have happened if Shawn had found out that you had died in your apartment from a burst appendix. Speaking of Shawn, did he know where you were? What had happened? He must be so worried! “Shawn- “you choked out, barely able to get that one syllable out as you felt worry rising within you like a wave.

Karen seemed to have sensed where you were going with this however and quickly reassured you. “I called Shawn once they took you up for surgery. He was in the middle of his show, so he didn’t get the message until it finished. He’s on his way here now though. He hopped on the first available flight. He should be here any minute actually,” she revealed softly.

You let out a quick breath, feeling slightly at ease that Shawn wasn’t halfway across the world, unknowing of your current condition. He would be here soon. It would all be okay. Shawn was coming. You would be in his arms soon enough. A few tears trickled down your cheeks and Karen pulled you in for a swift hug, knowing you just needed to be held at the moment and if her son couldn’t be here right now, she would be happy to fill in until he got here.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait too long. Not even five minutes later, they heard the door softly push open and a tired, fearful voice quietly stutter out your name in question. “Y/N?”

Your head shot up, immediately making eye contact with your beloved boyfriend, who looked absolutely horrible at the moment. His eyes were bloodshot, hair a mess from running his hands through them in worry, and a shirt that you recognized as being one of his tour shirts half-unbuttoned and slightly askew on his tall frame.

“Shawn,” you breathed out in relief, a new batch of tears already beginning to make their way down your cheeks.

Karen quickly stepped out of the way, a small smile gracing her lips as she beheld the love between her son and his girlfriend. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” she murmured, grabbing her purse and squeezing Shawn’s arm briefly before making her way out of the room.

Not even a second after the door had swung shut, Shawn had you in his arms, tears falling freely and unashamedly down his face. “You’re okay,” he sobbed, tightening his hold on you and burying his face into your hair, breathing in your scent. “You’re really okay. I was so scared something was going to go wrong and you weren’t going to make it,” he admitted, shuddering at the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind for the entire ten-hour flight that he had had to endure.

He pulled away slightly to press his lips fiercely against yours and you quickly returned the action, pouring all the love and reassurance that you could into that kiss. “I’m okay,” you whispered softly, once you both pulled away, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

He placed his hands over your own, smiling slightly at you despite the tears that were still falling down his face. You wiped them away gently, taking in each of his features, relieved to finally have him by your side.

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here, baby,” he wept. “I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you. If my mom hadn’t been there. I – I…” he trailed off, words failing him as the tears fell harder. You gently pulled him into your arms, stroking his hair softly.

“Shhhh,” you murmured softly, doing your best to comfort him, knowing just how hard he was on himself. This was not going to be something that he forgot easily. “I’m okay, Shawn. I’m okay. We’re both here together and we’re safe and we’re okay. That’s what matters. Nothing else is important right now, alright?” You tried your best to convince him that this wasn’t his fault. It was some freak accident that none of you could have anticipated and he shouldn’t beat himself up about it. It was out of anyone’s hands, especially his own.

He nodded weakly, head still buried in your chest. His sniffles were slowly calming down however, which you took as a good sign.

He pulled away to bring you in for a sweet kiss. “I love you so much,” he murmured against your lips before peppering kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle in response. He was just the cuddliest, sweetest boy you had ever met and you were beyond grateful to have him here by you side.

“Wait!” You gasped, sitting up, causing Shawn to snap to attention, thinking that something was wrong. “What about your show tonight, Shawn?” You asked. “You had two more in London, right?”

Shawn gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you softly. “Don’t worry about it, baby. Andrew took care of it. We’ll do make up shows sometime soon, but right now this is where I belong.”

You smiled up at him, wondering how you had ever gotten so lucky as to have this incredible man in your life. “I love you, Shawn,” you whispered, wanting him to know just how much it meant to you to have him here with you and for him being so willing to drop everything to be by your side in your hour of need.

He grinned in response. “I love you more, Y/N. I’m so glad that you’re okay. You’re my anchor in this crazy world. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Luckily, you’ll never have to find out. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Shawn,” you stated sweetly before bringing him in for another sweet kiss.

[ohayohimawari]

Tumblr Milestone!

For whatever reason, Tumblr has chosen to keep me hidden from tags, searches, etc. So, I’m really, really thrilled to have finally hit a milestone of 100 followers!

Thank you, you 100 of the most beautiful, most excellent, most exceptional people, for finding me and for following me. An additional HUGE thank you for reblogging my posts (especially the ones that contain my fics) so others may find me too. You make me visible.

To celebrate reaching this milestone, I’ve written a short story, which I hope you read, enjoy, review and share. It was based partly on this gif:

The Troublesome Genius

Read below the cut, or on: AO3 FF

Rated: T

Pairing: ShikaTema

Other characters: Kakashi, Sai, Shikadai, Tonton

Summary:  Shikamaru Nara maneuvers his way through the troublesome aspects of being a husband, father, and assistant to the Rokudaime.

The Troublesome Genius

“Come in.”

Shikamaru looked up from his task at the unexpected knock on the door to the Hokage’s office. The Rokudaime, however, continued to address the stack of paperwork in front of him. “You can add this one to the ‘Un-fun’ file,” he said as he handed the top sheet to his assistant.

“Good afternoon.” Sai’s polite monotone greeted them as he quietly closed the office door behind him.

“Hey, Sai. What brings you here?” Shikamaru lifted Tonton off a tall stack of papers to add another to it. He returned his gaze to their visitor and watched him set a large, earthenware pot on the Hokage’s desk.

“Ino asked me to bring this for your and Shikadai’s dinner this evening.” Sai finished with a smile that was more genuine than he’d been capable of in the past.

“Un-fun.” Kakashi handed another piece of paper to his assistant, and Shikamaru added it to the towering stack. “You have the whole village cooking for you this week Shikamaru,” the Rokudaime continued. “I’m jealous. When does Temari return?”

“The day after tomorrow. Shikadai and I should probably start cleaning the house up tonight.” Shikamaru chuckled to himself, thinking of the lazy week he and his young son had been enjoying in his wife’s absence.

“It’s been slow this week, you can take a half-day tomorrow and have one more evening to be kings of your castle. Ooh here's one for the ‘Fun’ file.” Kakashi handed the piece of paper he’d briefly checked to his assistant as he spoke.

“What’re you doing?” Sai asked as Shikamaru added the piece of paper he’d been given to the smallest stack upon the Hokage’s desk.

“Filing.” Shikamaru offered the succinct explanation as Sai moved the pot he’d brought further away from the growing piles of ‘organized’ tasks. Nara then returned his attention to the Rokudaime, “I appreciate that Kakashi, but are you sure? The ‘Un-fun’ stack is getting out of hand again.”

“And here’s another one to add to that file, but don’t worry, I’ll get around to it.” Kakashi waved his hand in a dismissive gesture once Shikamaru had relieved it of the ‘Un-fun’ document. “It’ll probably take you the whole afternoon to return everyone’s dishes to them. Besides, what’s the point of having fought so hard for this era of peace if families like yours don’t enjoy it?”

“Oink, oink!” Tonton added her two cents to the conversation.

“Well said, my dear.” Kakashi ceased reading to pat the head of the unofficial mascot of his office. Then he turned to his assistant again, “How’ve you two spent the last week with your house to yourselves?”

“In our underwear, mostly.” Shikamaru laughed, and even Sai joined him, understanding the joy of sharing such simple freedom with his own son whenever Ino left for a ‘Ladies Weekend.’

“Also, not doing the dishes,” Shikamaru smirked. His grin grew wider when he softly added, “I’ve started to teach him how to play shogi.”

“Ah, now that’s time well spent.” The Rokudaime displayed his smile through closed and creased eyes.

Eyes that flew open in the next moment when a woman yelled from the other side of his closed office door. “Where is he?!?!”

Shikamaru recognized that shriek, and before the door to the Hokage’s office was flung open, had just enough time to utter, “Don’t leave me.”

Temari stood in the doorway, her eyes quickly scanning the occupants of the Hokage’s office until they landed on Shikamaru and stayed there. The three men watched as a dangerous calm visibly settled over her face.

“You’re back early,” Shikamaru choked out, in what he hoped was a cheerful greeting.

Temari’s eyes narrowed in reply.

“How was your trip?” He attempted again.

“Shut up.” Temari folded her arms across her chest. “Please excuse my intrusion Hokage-sama, but I need to speak to your genius assistant about his genius son.”

“I was about to leave anyway,” Sai offered.

Shikamaru knew that Sai would be the first to betray him and was prepared for it. “Yes, to deliver that message for me, thank you. I’ve almost finished drafting it.” He grabbed the nearest piece of paper and quickly scribbled his plea where Sai could see him,

Find Shikadai-I don’t care how-tell him Mom’s home early, and he needs to wash all the dirty dishes. Now. Tell him I said to take out the trash too. Hurry.

Sai accepted the note and his mission with a nod. He took a step towards the door where Temari still stood, second-guessed himself, and chose to exit the Hokage’s office via the window instead.

Temari aimed her gaze at the Rokudaime next. “It’s his office, you can’t expect him to leave,” Shikamaru started.

However, Kakashi was already standing and gathered Tonton into his arms. “I think it would be best if I did.” He looked at Temari and continued, “Only for a moment though, it’s been a hectic week for us. In fact,” he turned to Shikamaru, “I may have to ask your husband to work this weekend to help me catch up, depending upon your situation of course,” he finished with a wink to his assistant before turning to exit.

“O-oink?” Tonton looked up at the Rokudaime as he carried her to the door with him.

“Exactly. How do you always know just what to say?” Kakashi replied to the pig as he walked around Temari and closed the door behind him, leaving the Naras to themselves.

Shikamaru stood still, carefully observing his wife. His previous attempts to get to the root of the problem had proven unsuccessful. He stuffed one hand into his pocket, found the lighter that had belonged to his sensei, and ran his thumb over it as his mind thought through the various possibilities for her foul mood.

‘Had she been home and found the mess? Maybe. She doesn’t look like she’s been home though, she’s still carrying her fan and her bag… Birthday? Anniversary? No, she wouldn’t have gone to Suna for a visit if that was the case. She ended her trip early and rushed back here-shit! Did Kankuro tell her about the stag party? No, no she said she needed to talk about my genius son-not our son, my son, and she called me a genius too, so that means…’

“What’d he do?” He asked aloud.

“Pulled the fire alarm at The Little Leaves Kindergarten Ninja Academy!”

Shikamaru felt his jaw drop at Temari’s exclamation. His eyes drifted to the window behind her in time to see Shikadai’s worried and tear-streaked face fly past on one of Sai’s ink birds in the direction of the Nara home.

His eyes quickly returned to Temari’s. “When?”

“This morning, while the kids were lined up to go outside for first recess. The school called me at the emergency telephone number listed on my parent contact card. I was so embarrassed taking that call, in front of everyone in the Kazekage’s office, Shikamaru!” Temari smacked her hand down on the Hokage’s desk in a show of her frustration. “I told them to call you, but the secretary said she couldn’t. Do you know why?”

Shikamaru gulped, as he suddenly remembered the forgotten, blank parent contact card sitting in his desk drawer at home.

Temari brought her hands up to her head and massaged her temples with her fingers. “I’m upset that this interrupted my visit with my brothers, I’m exhausted from rushing here by train, and I’m sick of being the ‘mean parent,’ Shikamaru.” She let her arms fall to her sides, exposing her face which was flushed from stress and emotion.

“Look, I understand that I’m not allowed in your and Shikadai’s boys-only club and I know that you two laugh at how strict I can be. However, I’d really appreciate it if you could see your way to completing more of the ‘troublesome’ tasks of parenthood so I could be part of the joke instead of just the butt of it.”

Shikamaru stood silent, his thumb running over the inherited lighter in his pocket. He began to realize how his behavior as a father had been inherited as well, and he considered the impact it had on the woman he’d asked to be his partner. He could only think of one maneuver to resolve the situation.

“You’re correct, and I’m sorry Temari.”

It appeared his wife hadn’t expected him to understand and apologize so readily and it almost pained him to see it. But she relaxed and replied in the gentle voice she reserved just for him. “Thank you, Shikamaru.”

He returned her soft smile with a sheepish one of his own. Then he sighed and ran a hand down his face, tugging a little at his goatee. “Why did he pull the fire alarm, though? I can’t imagine Shikadai doing such a stupid prank, it’s not like him at all.”

Temari chuckled, and it was Shikamaru’s turn to be surprised at his spouse’s reaction. “What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t funny to me at the time, even though the teacher was laughing when he told me.” Temari quieted her laughter long enough to explain, “Apparently, your genius son is learning to read faster and better than we thought. He pulled the fire alarm because the words, ‘please pull’ are stamped right on it.”

Shikamaru groaned, and Temari laughed louder at his reaction. “His teacher explained to me that it happens often enough that a request was sent to the Hokage’s office to have the alarms replaced.”

“It’s filed,” came the muffled voice of the eavesdropping Rokudaime from the other side of his office door.

Shikamaru looked at the leaning tower of ‘Un-fun’ paperwork and groaned again.

“Regardless of the reason, he still had to be punished and served detention after school today,” Temari finished relating Shikadai’s unfortunate day to his father as she opened the office door so Kakashi could reenter.

The Rokudaime still held Tonton while he sat in the chair at his desk again. Shikamaru had begun sifting through the tallest stack of documents, looking for a request from The Little Leaves Kindergarten Ninja Academy. “I think we need to rethink our filing system, Hokage-sama.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi reluctantly agreed, setting Tonton down on his desk.

“Well, I’d better go collect our genius son from school.” Temari sighed. “His detention ended fifteen minutes ago, but I had to cool off before I could pick him up. I’m sure he’s waiting for me now and dreading my reaction.”

Shikamaru smiled when Temari used the word ‘our’ to describe their son again, but then he recalled the image of Shikadai flying past the windows, as well as his instruction to clean up the evidence of the lazy week they’d had while his wife was away. “Wait—” his mind raced to cover up one last secret of the boys-only club, “as you say, he’s a genius. Shikadai will know to head home by now, and I’m sure he’s had enough trouble for one day. You must be tired after your unexpected trip back. Why don’t I take you out for tea and then we can pick dinner up on our way home?”

“I thought you two were having a ‘hectic week’?”

“The Rokudaime assured me he didn’t need me to get through the ‘Un-fun file’ himself,” Shikamaru quickly and subtly appealed to Kakashi with his eyes. The Rokudaime assented with a slight nod of his head.

“The what file?” Temari turned back to face the Hokage and his assistant.

“Besides, what’s the point of having fought so hard for this era of peace if families like ours don’t enjoy it?” Shikamaru recycled Kakashi’s words as he set aside his work in favor of leaving with his wife instead.

“Oink, oink,” Tonton approved.

“Oink, oink,” Kakashi concurred and waved goodbye to the departing couple.

The End

[kwamiwayzz]

Citrus Fanfic (Rec-ish) Masterpost

Hello Hello! It’s been about two weeks since the Citrus manga ended and while it leaves some of us fans thirsty for more content, Saburouta did say she’s planning for a spin-off that’s coming up in Winter 2019 :D 

But since that’s 4 months away, I figured I could create this fanfic list that could keep y’all busy in the next few months ^^ 

Keep in mind, I actually haven’t read some of the fics on this list, but have added them here since I’ve heard good reviews from other people and thought why not add them on here too~ 

Also, if any of y’all are starting out reading Citrus fic you should definitely start here lol I actually have this a top rec on this list and have recommended it before but everything smx writes is absolutely amazing and in-character

Alright, I’ll possibly add some of my thoughts and opinions on some of the fics included in this list so...here we go~ 

Valentine’s Day by mikotyzini

Citrus: Fantasies by epitomeofdisaster

Milk and its Derivatives by Joebagadonut & WhyMeiTalksWithPigeons

Warmth by Ennju

Into the Gremlin’s Den by AlexIsOkay

A Fresh Coat by mizutanitony 

Citrus - A Compilation by mikotyzini 

My Papa by Shmehua1

Sweet and Sour by Cynical-Banshee

Tenderness by ArcanicSoul 

Market Fresh Citrics by MCMulch

Dates Like Detentions by AlexIsOkay

The Price of Pretending by AlexIsOkay

[More under the cut since I know it’ll get really long]

Citrus schtuffs by angel0wonder - Yeah, I know I’ve recommended this before countless times in the past, but honestly, I can’t help it. I love it too much and it was the Citrus fic collection that introduced me to Citrus fic and eventually inspired me to write my own. Every chapter has nice little moments of fluff and comedy that the manga is in dire need of and every character included is in character that I can almost imagine Saburouta writing this herself! There’s some angst in it too, like chapter 41, but even those ones are a great read! If you want to know my favorites to start with, I can suggest reading chapter 9, chapter 16, chapter 25, chapter 33, CHAPTER 39 (pls read this one), chapter 41, and chapter 43. There’s a lot more and I love this collection dearly, but those chapters are my absolute favorites ^^ 

Uncomfortable Truths by mizutanitony - Okay, so confession time. I was actually really, and I mean REALLY hesitant to read this fic at first because of the premise. It’s basically a sequel to a bad end if Mei chose to marry her fiance Udagawa, leaving her and Yuzu separated for almost 2 years. The fic itself actually takes place 5 years after those events transpire and Yuzu and Mei are engaged and taking care of their son who’s the biological son of Udagawa. One thing I can say to why I was hesitant in reading this at first is because I thought the drama would be way too drawn out and/or I thought the premise was mostly going to heavily focus on flashbacks that have Yuzu and Mei still be separared and Mei trying to deal with herself being married to Udagawa. But when I did give this fanfic a shot, I was surprised and honestly glad I read it. The characters are all in character, and while there’s heavy drama here and there I feel like with the situation presented, it’s necessary and justified without being too overblown. Much of the focus on this fic is Yuzu and Mei trying to manage their relationship as adults, their respective jobs, and how to take care of a child. I could actually see this be a potential route if Mei did end up marrying Udagawa at the end of the manga and did try to do everything she could to win Yuzu back. And honestly, the parts where Mei and Yuzu talk out their relationship, the parts where they’re struggling mentally (especially) in figuring out where to go from where they are, especially knowing how much their past still hurts them, is the best thing I love out of this fic. Also 12/10 the smut scenes are hot. The fic itself is almost over but the chapters themselves are really long and can give y’all something to keep yourselves busy! Give it a shot! 

Skipping a Beat by BluBerserker - I binged this fic during my stressful first week of school and I really like the direction the author is taking this story! I’m not really sure how it’s gonna pan out, but I was interested in the premise. Yuzu being sick and learning how to deal with living with a heart condition? Mmmmyes I can feel the angst. One thing I love about this fic is the chemistry established between Yuzu and Mei, especially after Mei finds out about Yuzu’s brugada syndrome and ends up feeling guilty for causing her more pain than necessary. She really starts to loosen up around Yuzu and comes to terms with her feelings a little faster and earlier than where the manga went ^^

Neapolitan Ice Cream & Secrets by DoorIsAjar - aAAAAAAAAAA, this one!! I love this one! This is the kind of fluff that I used to write during my earlier days getting used to writing Citrus fic for this fandom. It’s basically about Yuzu taking care of Mei after Mei gets her wisdom teeth pulled out and is loopy on nitrous-oxide. There’s just a charm and endearing appeal to this fic in particular, and while Mei has a more childlike demeanor because of how loopy she is, it’s actually very in character and just absolutely adorable. I’m just surprised Yuzu didn’t drop dead after the many times Mei has been too cute for her! >u<

Grandes Esperanzas by YuzuAihara1993 - I actually have not read this for the sole reason that...well, it’s in Spanish and I can’t read Spanish ^^; BUT don’t let that stop you! The reason I’m adding this on this list is because I’ve heard from different people, mainly smxmuffinpeddling, how amazing this fanfic is and how it made her cry. She actually translated a portion of this fic and even said she’s in the process of translating the fic itself! As for those who already can read Spanish, try this one out!

Studies With Wolves by punklobster - I just really like this one, okay? i wrote a gigantic ass review on AO3 detailing how much I loved it. It’s basically a Wolf Children-esque AU where Yuzu meets Mei in college but notices she’s not a student there. Just read it. Please, it’s amazing 12/10 in character and 20/10 would read again.

Dinner at Aihara’s by fishnspice - This was one of the very first Citrus fanfics I read on AO3 and it has this nice atmosphere established between Yuzu and Mei that I sometimes find myself reading over and over again. 

Daughters and Lovers by LittleElisa - Okay, I need to recommend this one. This one, while kind of intimidating to read at first because of the formatting, is actually really nice and really in-character. I found myself re-reading this fanfic about 4-5 times after the first time I gave it a chance. It takes place around Volume 3 (back before we knew what the heck would happen, so this fic is pretty old), and takes a route where Ume finds out about their relationship pretty early on and...does not take it well, leading her to separate Yuzu and Mei. She doesn’t play the “non-understanding” parent and does actually feel bad for separating her daughters like that, but realistically I felt like this is what she would do after dealing with the shock that...well, her two daughters are making out behind closed doors. Everything else about this fic is actually amazing. I think I even remembered smxmuffinpeddling beta-ing this fic at one point! Give this one a shot! Unfortunately, the fic is unfinished and hasn’t been updated in years so like...if you like cliffhangers, well...good luck ;u;

Love Like You’ll Never be Hurt by vyoria - This one takes a bit of a different route compared to most other Citrus fics I’ve read so far. It’s basically where Yuzu and Mei don’t meet until they’re much older, like possibly in their late 20s, early 30s, and Mei is married to Amamiya. Unfortunately, because of the author’s busy schedule, there’s only been 1 chapter out so far. But the premise is nice and even if it is just one chapter I suggest y’all check it out! 

i have died everyday (waiting for you) by forbiddenquill - This fic...boi, back when I read this fic I didn’t really know what to expect from it aside from it was named after a really cheesy and endearing love song from Twilight. I think the thing that gravitated me the most towards this fic was the atmosphere the author set up between Yuzu and Mei. It had been a couple months since they’d last seen each other, and you can really feel for that sense of longing they both crave while also understanding the tense atmosphere they feel around each other because of the awkwardness from being apart for so long. You know Mei wants to be with Yuzu but doesn’t know how and yet Yuzu still reaches out to her one more time just to talk. Honestly, I don’t know where this author has been but they pretty much predicted the last chapter through this fic (almost). Spoiler alert: you kinda have to read it through to know what I mean XD 

And that’s the most I could think of so far! ^^; If you guys have any other fics you feel should be on this list let me know! 

I’ve also written my own Citrus fics, but like...it feels weird self-promoting myself XD. I’ll just say that if you’re curious to read some of my stuff, I’m Zoop Top on fanfiction.net and Rolex on AO3 

;D