#but perhaps that would have been too controversial. but whom give a shit.

[alliluyevas]

as a nicki stan above all else i do kind of think the epilogue did her dirty. like the whole arc of the final season is kind of the wives all on some level realizing that this marriage is constricting them and they all have different elements of their life they want to pursue that bill is restricting them from doing. and i think in some ways it is harder for nicki to figure out and chase what she wants than for the other two--i always think of the scene where the three wives are all together in barb's car and barb and margene are laughing and looking forward to the future and nicki is in the backseat looking grim because she's apprehensive.

that being said it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that basically post-bill we find out that barb and margene are doing the things he held them back from doing--barb pursuing female priesthood leadership, margene traveling the world--and what is nicki doing? like it's never elaborated on at all but i guess the only assumption you can make is that she's at home with the kids while the other two chase their dreams which is so fucking bleak and i'm not even sure if they intended that to be the implication or if they just didn't bother to flesh out her ending.

i actually think something that might have really worked is giving her her own similar ending by making it explicit that she's also found something that she couldn't have while bill was around. and frankly i think what she is struggling with in the last season and can't even voice the way the other wives voice their dreams is the fact that she doesn't like bill, isn't attracted to him, and doesn't really want to be married to him. like she talks about wanting to finally have romantic love and recognizing that and i think she does but what she can't fully admit is that she doesn't actually want that with bill.

anyway i think they should have revealed in the epilogue that nicki is now dating some normie mormon dentist she met on eharmony.

[random-imagines-blog]

Animal {Avengers Cast x Male Reader}

Requested by: @gameloversblog Wordcount: 1715 Summary: You play a Marvel antihero who has a pretty bad pottymouth. You finally get your own standalone film and invite your castmates over to watch. Warnings: Foul language.

To say that you brought a new life to the controversial character that you were playing was an understatement. Ever since you were young, you wanted to play a comic book superhero, or perhaps more aptly, an anti-hero because you were always a bit naughtier than the characters you grew up with. You swore an almost unprofessional amount, but your charm and skill was enough for you to keep the roles that you had, you requested to do a lot of your own stunts for the thrill of it, and, well, you were a bit of a flirt with everyone that you came across. So when there was a role opening up in the MCU as an anti-hero with a bit of a potty-mouth, you called your manager and told her that she would receive a big bonus if she managed to get you that audition. Needless to say, she got that bonus, and when you got the role, you bought her a brand new car, complete with a big bow on top, and a cut out of yourself for the backseat so she wouldn’t get lonely.

Unfortunately, these were meant to be family movies, and you didn’t get to swear as much as you had initially hoped. You did continue with your language when you messed up, which would never be in the bloopers unless they wanted to get an R rating on their own, and it became a bit of a joke with your castmates. In one scene that you filmed with Chris Evans and Scarlett Johanson, you actually shocked Evans so hard with your language that you missed a fighting cue and genuinely got struck in the head. He didn’t let up about that for a good month, but it was all light-hearted.

The movie was incredibly successful, as you had hoped that it would be. The critics loved it, and there was even praise on the way that you accurately portrayed your character - but there was one complaint. It wasn’t completely true to the character as you hadn’t been able to swear as much as they did. You brought in a couple of ‘hell’, ‘goddamn’ and ‘what the f-’ before you were cut off, but that was the extent that Marvel would let you do. It was literally signed into your contract that you could not improvise.

But now you were all smiles to the press, though your publicist was always on hand to give you a stern look, or clear your throat if your language started to go downhill. “It was fucking amazing!” was something that you couldn’t help but say when journalists asked about your experience. During one particularly memorable interview, you spewed out, “It was so fucking cool, like have you seen this shit? There’s like explosions all the goddamn time, and those are real, they don’t just put that shit in during editing, it’s right there, like holyyy mother of God, there was a time when I was scared I was going to be actually on fire, because of how close it was. Fucking burning up hot like Rhianna’s newest cd, you know?”

That interview showed on TV and had more bleeps than an episode of COPS. And you know that to be true because Robert Downey Jr called and told you that he had compared them as something fun to do. That interview also ended up on some videos of ‘Most cringy interviews’ which you didn’t completely understand. You had a blast, you were being yourself - it was the show hosts who looked baffled.

Out to celebrate the success of the movie making millions in the box office, you and co-star Jeremy Renner decided to hang out at his house with a couple of beers. Now that most of the press was over, and you didn’t have to go to any more premieres, it was so nice to be able to just hang out with friends. You were lounging in his living room, bottle in hand, telling a story about a scene that you did when you were in an action-comedy movie with some other famous actors. “So Mark Wahlberg has that expression on his face, you knew the one, where he looks all confused, like he needs to take a shit and doesn’t know how to get it out?” You laughed, and Jeremy nodded, knowing what you were talking about. “So I took the chance man, I had to take it, I just blew into my elbow and it made the biggest fucking fart sound, I’m talking about camera breaking loud man.”

Between laughs you heard your phone ringing. When you saw your manager’s name, you were expecting her to come down on you hard for swearing in the interviews. You had no idea that your life and your career were about to make a huge turn for the better. “Yo and hello,” You said, smiling at your cheesy line.

“I’m not calling to bitch at you, believe it or not,” Your manager sounded excited about something, which peaked your interest.

“I would never use the word bitch - I’d more say it’s complaining mixed with nagging,” You started. “All of which I know that I deserve. So what’s up, buttercup?”

“You managed to get a starring role, and I mean, big time starring role.”

“Oh, is someone trying to get a big Christmas bonus? What a coincidence that this is happening around the oh so busy clusterfuck of a holiday. You know - I don’t even remember auditioning for anything lately. What is it, what is it?”

Your manager said the name of the character that you had just played, who was originally just supposed to be a one-off character. “You were recieved really well, so they want to give you your own film. With at least a Mature rating so you can use those words you love so much.”

“I can finally say shit, dick, asshole, fuckfest?” You said, growing happy. You legitimately got up from Jeremy’s couch and started to do a happy dance.

“To a degree,” Your manager warned. “We’re still in talks about who is going to do the script, so you might be able to have some say in it...”

“Thank fuck for that. Do you know how hard it was to say darn with a straight face? Who says darn anymore? I wasn’t playing Cap!” Jeremy snickered behind you and you shot him a wide grin. “I’ll even write the script myself if they can’t find the perfect person. I practically am my character, you know.”

“Yes, I know. Everybody knows.” Your manager sighed. “I’ll put in a good word for you, you know that. Just hang tight. They’ll be sending you an announcement soon enough.”

-

Just over a year later, you were sitting in the living room of your spacious home with your best friends and castmates all around you. You managed to get a copy of the film before the premiere, and managed to talk everyone into coming over and watching it. And you, being a devious little thing, created a drinking game.

“Alright, so here’s the rules,” You said, standing in front of the TV before the film started. Your friends stopped talking amongst themselves and looked at you. You grinned like a maniac. Some of the biggest names in Hollywood were hanging out in your house right now. Suck on that critics who thought you’d never make it this far. You were one of them now. “I don’t have enough alcohol in the house to make you all take a shot at every swear-”

You were interrupted by a couple of laughs, so you gave a wink to Paul Rudd who had been the source of a couple of them. “-So how about you guys just have to take a swig of your beer? And a double if you’re referenced in the film.”

“I guess that sounds fair,” Jeremy said, settling into your second-favorite armchair.

“Why do you want us to get so drunk?” Scarlett Johansson asked, raising one of her perfect eyebrows in your direction. You shrugged before taking your seat, the best seat in the house, your favorite overstuffed chair.

“Instagam, snapchat, facebook, tumblr,” You listed off the various social media sites that you could put their drunken pictures up on.

“I think my publicist would actually kill you,” Elizabeth Olsen chimed in, cracking open her own beer.

“Great! Think of the publicity that would generate for the film!” You joked with that same grin. “Marvel Superstar murdered by publicist of Elizabeth Olsen! The tragic story of a drinking game gone wrong! More details inside if you want to play along...”

“Alright, alright, we’ll play along but no cameras, okay?” Chris Evans said, opening a beer of his own. You couldn’t stop smiling. You absolutely loved when you got your way.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the best Marvel film in the world? Now presenting - me!” You pressed play and the movie started.

Almost immediately, your friends had to start taking drinks because of how often there were curse words. Nothing too bad, but just the usuals. Fuck, shit, damn. Not the overly offensive ones.

Your favorite part was slowly coming up. You kept shooting glances over at Chris Evans, which the others noticed, but said  nothing about. Chris was oblivious, paying more attention to the film rather than to the people around him.

“Darn,” A character in the movie said, albeit a young one.

“Language!” The camera whipped to your character, who was standing there in a heroic pose. Weapon in one hand, charming smile, looking good for the victim whom you just saved. “In this movie, we say fuck.”

The scene had the right effect. Everyone started to laugh, and Anthony Mackie was nudging Chris, encouraging him to take double the drinks.

“You know, I wasn’t in charge of writing that line, but I keep getting the flack from it.” He grudgingly picked up his beer and finished it off while the rest of the group cheered.

[vivithefolle]

Can you rec some Ronarry fics? (Preferably long ones?) Sorry if I'm annoying you.

You’re not annoying me at all, Anon! :D Thought I’m super frustrated because I’ve read one very long fic that has Ron searching for Harry, who has amnesia and ran away to America (and is gay but nobody knew that) and Ron realizes he’s in love with Harry and the fic has about 30 chapters and it’s on FFN but I can’t find it!! x_x

Sooo… I didn’t find that many long fics but I can give you a long list of them if you want?

Beautiful FriendIt took six years for Harry to learn something in History of Magic.This one. Oh my lord this one… it’s short, but it’s amazing. It’s full of lovely lively details and Harry’s description of Ron is… aaaww.

Life DrawingDean watches, and sees something unexpected.Again, the descriptions! My lord the descriptions, and also you will relate very much to Dean if you’ve ever worked with pencils.

Something They Can Barely SeeHarry has no idea how to tell his best friend he wants more that friendship. He’s pretty sure this would be hell of a lot easier if he knew for sure how Ron felt about him.This one is plenty cute. Ron is adorable and Harry… Harry’s trying his best. :’D

Our Inner BeastsLater, Madam Pomfrey would tell them that both Bill and Ron were going to survive. But she had no idea what the effects of a werewolf bite, when the werewolf was still in human form, could do to their behavior.Okay, who’s up for writing more Creature!Ron fics? Seriously. Someone do some more of those. Here we have Ron as a werewolf, aggressive, feral, self-loathing… doesn’t matter, Harry loves him.

Running with the Wolf, Loving the Mansnapshots of Harry Potter’s life with a werewolf boyfriendFollow-up of Our Inner Beasts. Someone heard our prayers and gave us more Werewolf!Ron, and it’s as wonderful as it sounds.

What HappenedThat’s just the thing, though. He doesn’t know what happened. He can’t pinpoint a single event where everything suddenly made sense. There was no epiphany or choir of angels or aligning of stars, or any of the other rubbish Parvarti goes on about in the Great Hall. There’s no one moment when he realized, “Oh.”Ron and Harry’s friendship, only it’s not just friendship. The last line will make you want to put on some epic music.

Follow The Butterflies“Why did it have to be spiders?” Ron moaned. “Why couldn’t we follow the butterflies?” Harry privately agreed with his best friend, but if there was anything Hogwarts had taught him, then that if he didn’t do something, no one would. “I promise the next time we have to follow anything, it will be butterflies.”Harry and Ron’s friendship again, with more butterflies thrown in the mix. It’s just as perfect as it sounds. If you don’t ship Harry/Ron, this fanfic might just change your mind.

Sonnets of Magical InterferenceHarry receives some strange notes about his love life, or lack thereof.By the end of that fic, you might just cheer for a very controversial character.

HeavenHarry’s heaven includes Ron.Features Ron being emotional over a movie, Chinese takeout, and Harry being a sap. What more could you ask for?

Harry Potter And The World That Went Bloody Insane“I know something you don’t know” is, apparently, the essence of Harry Potter’s love life. Harry’s certain that the world has been reading one too many romance novels, but then, Harry’s always been a bit oblivious.Featuring Protective!Attentive!Caring!Ron and Oblivious!Harry in their stinky flat and everyone shipping Harry/Ron. It’s awesome.

Check MateHarry questions his dreams, Ron has a scary one of his own, Hermione and Cho plot, and Seamus and Dean obsess.Harry’s subconscious has lots of funny ideas. Ron is ridiculously cute. Might be a bit difficult to read because of FFN’s shitty formating for line breaks.

On The OutsideHarry doesn’t think there’s much point to his being gay. He can’t have regular sex, he can’t have children, and he can’t tell his best friend he’s in love with him.Ron is utterly adorable, do I really have to say it? Why, yes, yes I do.

Newton’s LawFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reactionCheck out this author’s other Harry/Ron fics. I especially like Brass Ring; in the meantime, have a rather in-character reaction of Hermione and Ginny finding out about their ex-boyfriends dating. Hey, not my fault if JKR doesn’t know how to write strong female characters without making them abusive.

Sleeping BeautyThe most gen ever retelling of Sleeping Beauty.Who cares if it’s gen, it’s amazing. Harry sleeps, Ron is wonderful, and ants get colorful.

The Complexities Of Muggle MachineryHarry bought a refrigerator. Then it was a microwave. Then a blender. Thursday was the coffee brewer. Ron really liked that last one.Ron is absolutely, heart-stoppingly, adorably cute and pretty much just like I imagine him to be around Muggle things. Harry’s lucky.

After the cupcakesThey never really talked about it but they are each other’s world. And perhaps a lazy Sunday morning is as good a time as any to finally say something.Utterly sappy and fluffy and you know me, I was mostly there for Harry’s description of Ron. It didn’t disappoint.

Sing Your LoveThroughout the years they’ve lived together, Harry has always enjoyed Ron’s singing but lately he’s been picking up hidden messages in his flatmate’s song choices.Do you like Ron singing? Do you like Ron dancing? Do you like Ron crying his heart out over an emotionally oblivious Harry? Well in that case you’ve found the perfect fic!

Snakes & LaddersAfter the final battle with Voldemort, Harry intends to get on with his life. There’s just one problem; he was supposed to have died when he confronted Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest and now the Other Side is trying to collect him. But in the space between his ‘death’ and the victory celebrations, Harry’s fallen in love… and he’s not going to give up his second chance without a fight.A complicated premise, a complicated tale, a very worried Ron, a very determined Harry, an entirely unwelcome Severus Snape coming from beyond the Veil, all leading up to an epic confrontation in the Other Side. Who knew the afterlife had a court?

Now, it’s time for… TEH SMUT! D:Every story below this text will have MATURE CONTENT. Shoo, children, shoo!

Partners (last chapter gets NSFW)What if the girls hadn’t come in just then?  What course of action would Harry, in his desperate frame of mind, have latched onto instead?This fanfic made one of my most desperate wishes come true. For those who don’t know me, I’ll just tell you that Cinderella isn’t a matter of gender.

Scars (warning: mentions of self-harm)Ron is embarrassed of his scars, and Harry might be able to help.Ron is his terribly self-loathing self, but at least Harry is there to remind him of what we Ron-lovers know: that he’s loved and beautiful.

The Matchmaker (contains sexual mention)Sir Nicholas has never had a couple like these two…Nearly-Headless Nick ships Harry and Ron. So does the entire Gryffindor House. All in all, just what we need.

Exploring The Spectrum (NSFW at the end)Ron wakes up to find he can only see in a single colour.Very interesting mystery and clever use of a forgotten plot point. The resolution is basically “sex solves everything” but otherwise it’s a great story.

Hug! Hug! Kiss! (second-to-last drabble is NSFW)Ron loses Harry in a foreign land. In other words, Harry accidentally joins a Japanese boy band.This story is ridiculous, confusing, crazy, and absolutely hilarious. No existing celebrities were harmed.

Just Another Teenage Epoch - Ron Weasley, 1999 (NSFW at the end)Ron wants to be an Auror, and he wants to not grow up, and he really wants other people to stop kissing Harry.The classic mistletoe tale! Ron is not amused at all. It’s okay, we’re rooting for him (and Harry is, too).

Trapped in Winter (NSFW at the end)Harry and Ron have an argument. When Ron goes to storm out of the room, he’s frozen in time, and when Harry touches him to see what’s the matter, they’re both transported to a snowy winter wonderland.A surprising premise that leads to a confused, hurt Ron and a tight-lipped Harry, and of course, to Harry/Ron. Pretty nice!

That We Might Be Exactly Like We Were (warning: graphic self-harm, realistic depression, themes of suicide)'Everything just takes me back, to when you were there…’This author pretty much nails what depression is like. She also has several other Harry/Ron fanfics that are written just as expertly as this one, but be forewarned, they tend to deal with very upsetting topics as well. Sadly, I could see her version of Ron existing in the canon we know.

Slow Slide (get out) to a Better Place (warning: abuse and r*pe)Harry told himself that everything was fine in his relationship with Ginny, at least until he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. And by then, he thought it might be too late.  Fortunately, he has two very good friends who will always be there for him, one of whom might eventually be something more.Downside: Ginny fans should NOT read this story. Upside: contains Vivi’s most beloved ship, Romione + Ronarry.

Prelude and Fugue (NSFW in the middle)It took over an hour, from the time Harry arrived at work, for him to realise just how different today actually was.The “Groundhog Day” loop is wonderfully done, you can actually feel the weariness building as Harry wakes up and notices it’s still Monday, bloody Monday.And Ron is absolutely adorable - yes, I’ll say it every time!

Princes of Maine (NSFW at the end)Harry wakes one morning to find an abandoned baby on his doorstep. Little does he know that this is only the beginning of his most challenging adventure yet: parenthood.You want Harry as a single parent and not knowing anything about babies? You have it. You want Ron as a competent Healer who’s sick of Harry’s shit and determined to get answers as to why his best mate is a wreck? You have it. You want Harry/Ron? What are you waiting for, dive in!

Still looking for more? Take a look at this post!

[mustlovelance]

Are you planning to writing about the remake/reboot you keep on mentioning about? Just because it sounds cool and I would love to see something like that if you decide to do that.

eh, probably not anytime soon. why? because the combination of s8 and the fandom’s disgusting reaction finally broke my spirit. 

i can’t even enjoy a/l’s canon development, because it’s been thoroughly soured by s8. none of their s8 moments even seem truly cute to me, knowing that they were only there to make her inevitable death hurt more. it’s just sickening to watch–allura’s slow crawl to death and lance’s right-but-ignored protests. we “won” and got “what we wanted”, but i’d rather see allura alive without lance than allura dead with him. we get the brunt of the hate for “winning the ship war” but we don’t get to actually enjoy this supposed win. 

i can’t even support the vast majority of any blogs seeking justice for allura, because they’re anti-a/l and anti-every-other-ship-that-the-OP-doesn’t-like, under the guise of being ship-neutral and truly focused on allura herself.

i can’t even commiserate with the majority of the fandom, because they’re angrier that their OTPs didn’t become canon (mostly k/l and s/k) than that allura died. i literally rage-quit my own damn k/l server because one person in particular was disgustingly more concerned with k/l being technically “possible” now that allura was dead than that allura had died. they had the audacity to argue with me that it was “beautiful”, actually. so. yeah.

JDS immediately addressed the controversy surrounding adam’s senseless death, but none of them have said a peep about allura’s senseless death, and i’m guessing they never will. because allura just wasn’t worth it, i guess. 

perhaps that’s the most disheartening part–that i’ve found out how few people actually give a shit about allura, a character whom i love so damn much and am so devastated to see killed off for no good reason.

imagining my own reboot is pretty much the safest, happiest approach that i can take, but at the same time, the amount of people who would care about my reboot, one that doesn’t “fix” most fans’ biggest issue with the season (a/l being canon), could be counted on one hand. that’s not to say that i’m seeking external validation/notes, but rather, i want that sense of community. the a/l community was my best fandom experience that i’ve ever had, not because of the attention (i got 10x as much when i wrote k/l meta instead, literally), but because i loved interacting with other a/l shippers. i can’t get that sense of community and fun by rambling at like three people.

that isn’t to say that i won’t change my mind eventually (i really want to write a fic that’s basically my version of the episode in which sven gets injured, particularly allura and keith’s reactions to lance’s anguish/guilt), but i think i’m still too upset to really enjoy sharing my ideas right now.

[archonreviews]

The Archon’s Review of Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning is a fantasy role-playing game developed by Big Huge Games and published by Electronic Arts. In the fantasy realm of Amalur, Fate has dictated the comings and goings of all things. Particularly sensitive to the workings of Fate are the immortal Fae, whom are divided into the Summer Court and the Winter Court. However, tragedy strikes when a rebellious Winter Fae named Gadflow decides that the current Winter King isn’t doing enough murder, and that he should be king instead. After killing the Winter King and usurping his throne, Gadflow and his followers, the Tuatha Deohn, go to war against the mortal races of Elf, Gnome, and Human. The mortals seem doomed, as while the Tuatha can be killed, they reincarnate quite quickly and return to fight, whereas the mortals die when they are killed. To circumvent this disadvantage, a Gnome by the name of Fomorous Hughes creates the Well of Souls, a device meant to resurrect the dead. You are its first apparent success, and in the process of reviving, you become unbound from Fate, and basically ruin it for everyone. Now, you are the last hope for mortal-kind to defeat the villainous Gadflow and his Tuatha followers, restoring balance to the Fae Courts and preserving the realm of Amalur.

I first heard of Kingdoms of Amalur back in the mid-2000′s, just around when I was playing Oblivion obsessively. It was contemporary with another third-person fantasy thingie, Two Worlds, which the GameStop employee recommended against, before trying to shill for GameInformer. I suppose my point here is that I picked up KoA:R because I was curious to see what I had missed all those years ago. And yes, I am aware of the controversy surrounding the game’s creation and the dismantling of Big Huge Games, but I must confess to not being too familiar with the happenings.

The first thing one may notice in this game is the graphics. They’re actually pretty damn good, with beautiful vistas and vibrant landscapes. The characters are surprisingly expressive, even if that expressiveness does result in some humorous facial expressions. The character models are a little funny though; all the men, at least, have what I like to call “Ground Beef Body”. I ended up naming my character “Flaskkott Djur”, or “Pork Animal” in Swedish because he immediately reminded me of a hunk of ground beef (I got the word “Flaskkott” confused with the word “Nottkott” which is “Beef”. There’s your Swedish lesson for the day).

(Just look at that chin! And he’s got the neck of an ox to boot!)

Speaking of vistas, the diversity of environments is greater than I might have expected; although, get ready to see plenty of magical forests. There are, however, plenty of deserts, beaches, swamps, and arid landscapes to explore, all with plenty of monsters to kill and things to loot. All the environments are quite pretty and vibrant to behold and great emphasis has been placed on making each area feel like its own self-contained region. Even the magical forests feel different enough from one-another that you’re not likely to get lost.

(Upward shot of one of the game’s major cities. Go all the way south, along a beach and across a desert and through a forest, and you’ll find a Greco-Roman city ruled by Gnomes, as opposed to this necropolis-looking thing.)

Character creation is interesting. You only have two choices at the start; race and deity to worship. Funnily enough, you can choose to be an atheist, and it may be the best choice in my opinion, not because I’m some trilby-wearing “Dark Enlightenment” nutter, but because being an atheist gives you a permanent +1% experience point boost, and I’m always a slut for levelling up. All the other deities give you different boosts, and each of the four playable races gives you certain bonuses to non-combat skills.

When I say that you only have two choices at the start, I was leading up to something. See, KoA:R sort of has you create your character throughout the entire game. Every time you level up, you get a point for non-combat skills and for combat abilities. You could easily make the case that all RPG’s do something similar, having the player build up their character over the course of the game, but the difference is that KoA:R basically gives you nothing to begin with, save for a few points in all the beginning combat skills, plus a few points in non-combat skills dependent upon your chose race. Most other RPG’s would at least give you a bit more than that, if only to establish a direction. KoA:R is unique in that building your character is a persistent, fluid process, which keeps it engaging; in addition, the ability to refund all your points for a small fee allows you to go back and try a different build should you get curious/ fed-up.

One side-note I’d like to make mention of: If you’re the sort of person who gives a shit about difficulty curve, don’t buy the “Weapons and Armor Bundle” DLC. As the name would suggest, it creates a chest in the first town filled with weapons and armors for you to grab and use at your leisure. And while you’ll get/craft better equipment in time, it’s still better than the equipment you would otherwise have at the time, and it throws the balance off for a bit.

Speaking of crafting, the game actually has a pretty rad crafting system which allows you to create equipment, potions, and socketable gems. And frankly, once you put enough points into the requisite skills, you can craft some frankly ridiculous things. After a while, I was salvaging nearly all my equipment for the spare parts, rather than selling it. Gold wasn’t much of an issue anyway, and I wanted to see if I could craft an even more effective murder tool.

If it seems like I’ve been avoiding the topic of combat for a while, it’s because I’ve been avoiding the topic of combat for a while. Honestly, I think it’s one of the weaker elements. It’s slow and cumbersome, and it’s completely possible to be hit for a full combo because you couldn’t get your fucking shield up in time because you were already swinging at a different enemy. Whenever I swung my sword, I was committed for roughly the next half-hour. Also, for those of you more used to Dark Souls styled dodge-rolling, I should warn you that the dodge-roll in this game does not seem to have any invincibility frames; it just zips in a direction real quick is all.

(Spiders rather quickly became my arch-nemeses. They always came in groups, attacked somewhat unpredictably, and where often harder to kill than might be expected.)

To be fair, once you level up a bit and develop your own tactics, combat becomes easier. Learning your enemies’ attack patterns and learning abilities that stagger them, or prevent you from being staggered will help immensely.

If the plot synopsis up there seemed kind of involved and a little faffy, it’s because that’s how the game is. Ostensibly, the whole thing is based on old Irish and Scottish myths about the fae, and while the influence is clearly there, and it’s clear that the devs at least did a modicum of research on the mythologies they use. I like the idea of fighting Fate, the rapacious bastard. Although, there’s a bit where it’s implied that you’re appearance (remember, your character exists outside the web of Fate) was itself predicted by Fate. As others have pointed out, that point is kind of mad, but it’s not as big a deal as it sounds, and there’s evidence to suggest that perhaps Fate has simply rewritten itself to fit you in.

(The antagonist either screaming in madness or receiving amazing head. I’ll let you decide.)

Now, I have a bit of a confession to make. I spent almost my entire time playing this on sidequests. Much work has been done to ensure that the sidequest chains are engaging, from helping the resident mercenary guild fight an invading demon lord and his army of elven followers, to saving a small village from a rogue Fae and her spider minions. I had a lot of fun on all the sidequests; I almost forgot about the critical path. By the time I got back, I was massively overlevelled and had a set of powerful equipment to back me up.

Here’s a weird thing apropos of nothing: while the human ladies are dressed normally (boob-plates notwithstanding), the elven ladies are almost always in some kind of revealing top, often a deep V-neck. I have no idea why this is; there’s no lore reason for it. Maybe Big Huge consisted entirely of elf-misogynists? It’s bizarre is all.

(She’s just dressed like this. No idea why, especially when a normal human wearing leather armor has it look like regular leather armor.)

Now, some people have compared this game to Skyrim; certain reviewers even calling it “Baby’s first Skyrim“ I don’t necessarily think the comparison is a fair one. Whereas Skyrim is very much a standard fantasy RPG in the vein of its forebears, KoA leans more heavily on semi-frenetic combat action, even bumping up against the (admittedly nebulous) action-adventure genre in the subway car. Crafting is different as well. Whereas Skyrim has you stock up on ores and ingots to craft with, this game has you salvaging your old weapons to find screws and grips and rivets, which gives the crafting a different feel, even if they are functionally very similar. While Skyrim is admittedly a more detailed, immersive experience (glitches notwithstanding), KoA is about as complicated as it needs to be. It gets in all the features it needs to be a pretty good game in its runtime.

And Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning is a pretty good game. Levelling up is more addictive than it is in most RPG’s, and great pains have been taken to make sure that each quest is fun and interesting, not just the main questline. Despite the reputation it’s accrued as a cut-rate Skyrim or “That one game what got a bunch of people in trouble and now it’s owned by Rhode Island,” I’d recommend it to anyone who likes somewhat complex fantasy worlds and/or anyone who likes their RPG’s a little bit on the actiony side. I may come back to it. After all, I’m more than half-way to the level cap and I’m not even close to the end of the main quest.

All in all, it’s a damn fine game. Would love to complete it some time.

(A back shot of a male character. I told you these people are made of ground beef.)

[thiefofnobility]

I’m afraid I have to disagree, quite firmly. I understand this is an issue people feel quite strongly about, but I’m not going to admit I’m wrong because, in this case, I have a firmly held critical opinion and believe I am justified in expressing it.

Yes, the character isn’t from the sixties (though, let’s remember, it’s unclear where he is from back in Hartnell’s time, it’s initially suggested he’s a human from the future if anything). But the writing is. And a few progressive shining stars like Verity Lambert aren’t going to lift everything out of the cesspit of human injustice. And it shows in the writing, including that of the character of the first Doctor.

Context never can be erased from writing. Never. And it absolutely, absolutely shows in how the first Doctor was written. Of course, Doctor Who transcends that. Doctor Who can transcend most anything. But it’s always there. I certainly noticed it a lot when watching the classic series several years back, and I have a far more critical eye now than I did then.

This isn’t reinvention. It’s just making the implicit issues explicit text and dealing with them. Hell, the show’s done it with more recent eras already (even eras by the same people!) with things as little as the Twelfth Doctor pondering why everything is called “sexy” now, or responding to Donna’s ending with Clara. The show’s always going to be reflecting on itself. That’s fine. That’s how it moves forward, and Twice Upon a Time is very much about moving forward, specifically to Jodie Whittaker, which I think is rather safe to call a progressive endpoint. And I’m sure give it a few years and we’ll be laughing about how the show was so white up until the Fourteenth Doctor came along and sorted it all out.

Take Susan’s departure, for example, which I mentioned the other day. And I know I’m just fishing for controversy here. I don’t like that feeling, but equally, I’m not going to shut myself up when people keep pushing me to voice something rather angrily like you just have. So I will admit, it’s a good moment. Hartnell utterly shines. It’s iconic for a reason. And yet, personally, I find it uncomfortably chauvinist in a way that is indicative of the era. The Doctor is generally overbearing and paternalistic towards Susan, but this is a particularly bad case. He has stripped her of agency numerous times and infantilized her, but this really takes the cake. Earlier in the serial we get beautiful moments like Susan rejecting the whole heteronormative labor thing, saying “I eat” when asked if she can cook. God, I love that moment. But her ending up with David, that’s treated as her way of growing up and living the life she should have. Travelling the universe isn’t good enough, I suppose, nor leaving on your own terms. You’ve gotta be dumped off to be the housewife of the first man who gives you googly eyes. I get the feeling if we were to see a televised continuation of that at the time, it’d be about her learning to cook and clean and raise children and become a good little wife.

Seriously, those lines are loaded. “I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own. With David, you’ll be able to find those roots and live normally like any woman should do.” Yikes. Gotta be a wife and give up adventuring to be fulfilled, apparently. It’s not cruelly intended or anything, it’s just good old fashioned gendered expectations of the time. Meant sweetly, but from a modern eye, horrific. Same as the spring cleaning line David Bradley has, sweet and harmless in the sixties, eyebrow raising now. It’s implicit, culturally ingrained chauvinism, that wouldn’t impact an alien from the future, but would absolutely impact how men (and let’s not pretend otherwise, it was overwhelmingly men writing, directing, and producing) would represent one.

It’s not something active or malicious, but it is, in my perspective, something that does happen a lot in the era. Not big things, just a bunch of little ones. That happens to pretty much all fiction, impacted by its context. And it seems like those little things will give birth to little reflective moments in a bigger and more interesting episode.

At the end of the day, though, really, I just want to be excited about my favorite show having one of my favorite Doctors return to close off one of my favorite eras.

Weeeeelll, let’s start by pointing out the fact you are wrong when saying it’s unclear where the Doctor comes from. In the unaired pilot, Susan straight up says she was born in the 49th century. She also calls Ian and Barbara “Earth people” and the Docco says he is “of a different race”. If the unaired pilot is not canon enough for you, I will use examples from the aired pilot. In which the Doctor says “the children of my civilization” and “I tolerate this century but I don’t enjoy it”. So however you got “sexist 60s human” from that is beyound me. While they didn’t have a name for Gallifrey at the time, they explicitly said he is from another planet and from the future. And even if THAT’S not enough proof for you, I should argue that whether or not they knew where he was from at the beginning is actually totally irrelevant. The point is, we know now and the story is being written now. So, hypothetically speaking, if One did ever say something sexist in his days, it was because of the time period it was written in and not because it’s something the Doctor would say. So why make him say it now? We know the Doctor now and there would be no need to point out something that isn’t actually part of him. 

You seem to be totally missing the point, however. The show is not reflecting on itself. The First Doctor has never shown an ounce of distaste or disrespect for someone based on their gender. He has never made a comment that comes off as sexiest. They are adding a character trait that was not there before for the sole purpose of being woke. Now, I’m doing this paragraph by paragraph, so I’m waiting to get to the part where you give me actual context from the show because so far it’s just been fancy words and generalizations.

AH! But here we go. Yes, let’s take Susan’s departure. But before we do, may I go to “I’m not going to shut myself up when people keep pushing me to voice something rather angrily like you just have” because did I in no way encourage you to become angry over this. I was telling you, as a One stan, the view point we have. If it came off as rude, I’m sorry, but that’s what voicing your opinion over the Internet does. And perhaps, my friend, as an analysis blog who posts opinions and replies to anons, you should understand this. I did not and do not have malicious intentions. I simply want to clear this up and clear the name of my favourite Doctor.

Whom you are trying to convince me is okay to completely destroy for the sake of unnecessary relevance. So if anyone should be angry, it’s me. But I’m not. I want to do this as civil as possible.

Now, back to Susan.

“The Doctor is generally overbearing and paternalistic towards Susan”

Pardon my French but, ehem, no shit. He is her grandfather and she is the last thing he has of his family and his home planet. Naturally, he would want to protect her. Whether I think it’s overbearing, no. I suppose that’s a matter of opinion. I think he has a reasonable level that any grandfather with his grandchild in dangerous situations would have. I believe the words you are looking for is protective and love. In fact, using Susan is a rather awful example because she was the one person he initially only showed affection for. Of course, he gained affection for Ian and Barbara when they all became besties, but from day one, Susan was the one he was the softest on.

“Earlier in the serial we get beautiful moments like Susan rejecting the whole heteronormative labor thing, saying “I eat” when asked if she can cook.”

I’m sorry I had to pause for a second because I think you might be looking too much into this. I’m 99% sure that was comic relief at best. What’s the opposite of cooking? Eating. What’s the key to comedy? Opposites.

“But her ending up with David, that’s treated as her way of growing up and living the life she should have. Travelling the universe isn’t good enough, I suppose, nor leaving on your own terms. You’ve gotta be dumped off to be the housewife of the first man who gives you googly eyes. I get the feeling if we were to see a televised continuation of that at the time, it’d be about her learning to cook and clean and raise children and become a good little wife.”

I understand your job is to analyze, but the thing is, this scene isn’t that complicated. The Doctor did not leave Susan with David because David fancied her. She did not stay to become a good little wife or because it’s the “role of a woman” to look after a man/children. The whole point was that the Doctor felt he was dragging her down. Susan expressed numerous times that she wanted a place to belong, somewhere to stay and not have to keep moving around. The trouble was, she felt so attached and protective of her grandfather that she couldn’t bare to leave him. The Doctor, however, selflessly, forces her to stay. Because he knows she could do good in this time period and he knows she would be happy here (which she was). But he also knew she was too loyal to leave him. It had nothing to do with romance. It was a good place to give her what she wanted. It had to do with the Doctor giving up the one person he cared most about to let her live the life she wanted and make her not feel obligated to take care of him. 

Which. Funnily enough. Is the opposite of chauvinism.

“I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own.” Because that’s straight up what she has been asking for for the past few episodes.

“Yikes. Gotta be a wife and give up adventuring to be fulfilled, apparently.” Nope. Because once again, Susan expressed that she wasn’t fulfilled by adventure and wanted to belong somewhere. Because, believe it or not, people all want different things. Not everybody wants adventure. Some people want roots. This, of course, all coming from her trauma of being pulled from her home planet and exiled into a stolen time machine where she proceeded to go on adventures in which she watched friends and her grandfather nearly die multiple times. So no, it has nothing to do with being a good little wifey but instead, wanting to be home somewhere. Sort of like when you take a long vacation and you just want to get to your own bed. But Gallifrey is off limits because it didn’t exist at the time of writing so the Doctor gave her a new home.

“that wouldn’t impact an alien from the future, but would absolutely impact how men (and let’s not pretend otherwise, it was overwhelmingly men writing, directing, and producing) would represent one.” Yes, which is a totally valid argument considering Verity Lambert, a female, produced the episode. And like.................. all of Hartnell’s era. Most of it, anyway. Up until Mission of the Unknown. Also, fun fact, Verity was one of the first women to be awarded role as a full time producer in television. So, y’know, Doctor Who was also built on powerful females in charge.

“It’s not something active or malicious, but it is, in my perspective, something that does happen a lot in the era. Not big things, just a bunch of little ones.” Lots of little things you haven’t named. I, personally, cannot think of any. And neither can you, apparently, as the one example you did give wasn’t actually an act of sexism.

If One is truly one of your favourite Doctors, you shouldn’t be excited for what Moffat is going to do to him. Because a true One fan knows this is not something he would do. He adored his companions, he never once said an offhanded chauvinistic line to them. And ESPECIALLY not with the intentions of it being such.

And, once again, even if you can come up with a valid example that perhaps I may have forgotten about as there IS a lot of Classic Who, I would like to go back to my original statement by saying any slightly, offhanded sexist remarks would yes, be because of the time period it was written in. However, just because they did it back then doesn’t mean we have to do it today. If you go out and call someone a racial slur and say “Sorry! They did it in the 60s and I’m just trying to make a point that it’s offensive now” doesn’t actually help anything. You still were an asshole to somebody, somebody got hurt, and nothing was gained, because yeah, no shit it’s offensive. The fact that Moffat would even think of adding such a plot device despite it not legitimately being a part of the First Doctor’s personality, says more about Moffat than it does about the writers of the 60s/The First Doctor. He’s essentially doing what writers in the 60s did and then pulling himself back up and going “It’s okay! I know this is wrong!” Good for you, Moff. We didn’t need to know that because it affects Doctor Who in no way and reflects on something that never existed.

As someone who likes Moffat, you should be thankful I disagree with this. Because if he didn’t do it to begin with, he would’ve saved himself some dumbassery.

Also it’s 2am so this is a mess, forgive me.

[blockheadbrands]

Former Phylos Bioscience Employee Sheds Light on Breeding Controversy

Dick Fitts of High Times Reports:

An ex-employee of Phylos Bioscience comes forward after convincing breeders and growers to trust in the impartiality of the company.

There were perhaps twenty people gathered to hear me speak. For a noon slot, not too bad. All the same, it was my first time giving The Pitch for Phylos Bioscience, and I psyched myself up through a buzzing chest as best I could. Fairbanks Alaska in July is a land without night; having spent the previous evening watching the sun through my hotel window as it barely dipped below the horizon only to creep back up from its catnap an hour later, I was a bit edgier than perhaps I should have been. I stiffened, walked up to the podium, clumsily fiddled with the microphone, had a deep breath and jumped right in. This was my moment, after all. I smiled.

The Script

“Hello, folks! Hope everybody’s had a pleasant morning. My name is Ricky, and I’m here today from Phylos Bioscience.”

Many of you in the grower and breeder communities who are reading this met me under exactly these circumstances. I smiled at you, shook your hand. I answered your questions with austerity and confidence, gained your trust, followed up on the phone, shared laughs and grow stories, tragedies and drug war nightmares. And I even fulfilled your orders for the Phylos Genotype kit, compiling a vast blueprint of your genetics and charting them in the Galaxy, the largest genomic map of cannabis worldwide.

I reassured you time and again, hundreds of times daily: “We are not out to steal your work. We are here to help you protect it, to prove prior art. We’re a different type of cannabis company. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate…” and on and on.

The Flip

Within the last three weeks, a side of the company has come to public light that calls all of this into question. What I helped build was merely a pawn for a horribly different endgame. I helped build an unparalleled data set of the cannabis genome, paid for by an eager public, to help the company build barriers to entry for anyone else who breeds. I helped establish my employers in a dominant and unfair competitive position for this new venture with an eye towards becoming the industry’s number one acquisition target for Big Ag.

And in the end: I am so, so sorry to you all. I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing. I’ve never believed more deeply in what I was doing, nor been bamboozled so fully. I’d like to speak to this, and if I can’t right my wrongs here at least give some thoughts on how the community can move forward independent and strong.

Phylos Bioscience Starts as Testing Facility for Breeders

In case you’re new to this story and its many twists and turns, here’s the nuts and bolts: Phylos built their name as a testing facility, creating a super-cool 3D map of the Cannabis genome called the Galaxy. For depth of information, ease of use and simple visual appeal: it’s unrivaled in the world, truly an accomplishment to be cherished proudly and applauded by any bioinformatician anywhere. Phylos set themselves up as a guardian of people’s genetic work, helping growers and breeders establish a prior timetable of when they had their genetics before the inevitable wave of patents and big ag attorneys looming on the horizon start to rewrite the rules of what belongs to whom.

For years they had a page on their website titled “Tools for Breeders”. This dealt with developing marker-assisted selection, a technology where the specific mutation points on an organism’s DNA code are tracked and understood, then that data used to inform and accelerate traditional breeding. This isn’t GMO, where a CRISPR machine is used to rewrite sections of the plant’s basic DNA. This is simply kicking traditional breeding into overdrive: with a pre-grow genetic roadmap, a breeder could use this tech to decide which seedlings out of a crop will carry the traits they’re looking for; all of a sudden you’re looking at bringing ten plants full term instead of potentially hundreds of thousands, saving time and labor and resources and farmland.

All in all, this promised better, more refined traditional agriculture for the community and a safeguard against private labs under the direction of a multibillion-dollar ag company steamrolling us all out of existence. A level playing field, an honest and even shot for so many small and underground growers who suffered for so long in our drug war: truly a paradigm shift in agriculture with the potential to ripple outwards into the wider web of what we grow, how we grow it and in essence who we are as a culture and species.

This was one of the things that really attracted me to the company, and one of the reasons I’m so sad to see them go the way they have: a breeding program could have been introduced to the public as a series of tools to develop and further their own work. As it goes, this was simply not to be.

Phylos Bioscience Announces In-House Breeding Program

They made their fateful announcement on Instagram on April 9th: an in-house breeding program, one that by definition would not only be stiff competition for any other breeders of industrial hemp or craft flower but most likely bury with the tech they’ve gathered and perfected. Imagine if all the umpires in baseball got together and said they were starting their own team, putting the full weight of their support behind it. Should the other teams, or the general public for that matter, trust them when they tell us they’re not competing, that they just want to contribute to the love of the game?

This was the quandary Phylos presented with their public statement. True, they’d be paying royalties to the original breeders of the building blocks they started with. But they kept repeating it, over and over in the comments section: we’re not going to compete with you. At best it was patronizing and to this day it remains unfounded. And people got…really, really mad.

Community Responds with Outrage

Between the low-level emoji trolls, loud-mouthed blowhards, cannabis influencers and well-meaning, erudite responders who clearly had a much more solid grasp of genetics and science than the company was giving them credit for: it was an unmitigated shitshow. There were the most horrible names, from “Corporate fucking chads” to the worst you can imagine. There were ignorant pitchfork-wielding yokels spouting pseudoscientific nonsense, there were numerous physical threats.

On the occasion that somebody would ask for clarification or a more complete picture of what might be happening with the data they submitted, the slightest optimism in their sentiment was met with some of the heaviest ridicule I’ve witnessed anywhere, anytime. Everybody took their piece of the big bad scientists and their reputation. It was awful for me to watch; like a dream home you spent a year building reduced to cinders quicker than you could comprehend.

They tried to salvage the situation with form responses to comments, a public statement from their PR person (turns out “You know what? I AM a suit. But I think I’m a pretty good one.” …is not a delicate statement when your intent and role in the industry is being called into question), but the community was relentless. They made a second IG post and a post on their website’s blog, attempting to clarify the first but eerily avoiding some of the deeper questions being asked of them. They did what they could to speak to “how scary this must be” for Everyone involved. Some were pacified by this. Most remained skeptical at best.

Phylos Founder Vows to Replace Modern Varieties of Cannabis

Almost immediately afterward, a video of one of their founders giving a presentation was unearthed, speaking at the Benzinga Cannabis Capital Conference in Miami in February. The term “smoking gun” almost doesn’t do it justice: like many of us who had worked with Phylos in the field, and myself more poignantly than most having worked directly for them, put my name behind them, gone to bat for them with my honor and my word… it was really, really hard to watch. I had to go through it several times over several days just to believe what I was hearing. I cried through a lot of it, puked at one point. It couldn’t possibly be real.

“All the cannabis that’s around now will be replaced by varieties that will be optimized and specialized, and we’re going to be the company that makes those.”

“We have huge barriers to entry protecting us.”

“It would be impossible for anybody else to collect this data set.”

“Cultivators can’t do real breeding on their own.”

“Our core business is plant breeding, we had to build two other businesses to support that…so we built an entire testing business to create all that data.”

“We have a really unusual advisory board. They are not there for show… Ron started and ran a couple of seed companies that he sold to Syngenta, he worked for Syngenta for years and is now the CEO of a spin-out company from there. And Barbara until recently was the VP of technology acquisition for all of Dow / DuPont. So, having these guys around is just critical for us, because we’re building a company that is ultimately going to be acquired by that universe.”

It was suddenly, starkly clear that the brass at the top of the company didn’t give a shit about the community they had built themselves up on the hopes and aspirations of. Actually, truly the case that they looked down on that community and the breeder’s art they’ve carried, for decades, risking everything as “a quaint, rural hobby that maybe farmers get into.”

Supporting Big Ag over Craft Cannabis

Since then, their reputation is on fire and the trolls of the internet have decidedly unleashed themselves. Almost as painful to me as watching their credibility disintegrate has been tracking the body of grotesque, virulent, often badly-uninformed and occasionally decidedly ignorant vitriol being espoused in their direction and that of anybody who supports them, or wants to, for any reason, no matter how rational the rationale.

Things seem uncertain at best for their standing in our community. For being the most dedicated, passionate and capable team of people I’ve ever worked with, in any industry: they’ve chosen to support Big Ag over craft botanists, money over the community. They had a real, solid chance with one of the most valuable crops on Earth as it emerges into full marketplace acceptance to stand with the right people, change the way the game of agronomics is played. Instead, they took the money. They fucking blew it.

Worst of all: they set back the trust of the cannabis community in science, possibly by years, until a stable and reliable alternative can present itself. We need to advance and evolve if we’re to survive the coming onslaught of Corporate Weed. It is not guaranteed that we’ll retain control of our culture or our plant, and with this development things just got darker for us all.

A Word of Advice to Phylos

That all being said, I’d like to give a couple of points of unsolicited advice to the folks at Phylos. Maybe they’ll listen, maybe not: all the same I hope that one way or another they take some time to address their tone-deafness on many key points and publicly raised concerns surrounding their announcement. Who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise me in a way that works for everybody. I can’t help but hold out hope.

First of all, stop talking about “How ‘scary’ this must be” for the community. The term that more accurately describes your recent behavior is “insulting”. Here’s why: the language you’re using indicates a complete lack of understanding and empathy for a group of humans who have endured generations of legal persecution, social stigmata and violent crime. I personally have had friends lose their freedom, their possessions, their families, been lined up against a wall and executed – all for the love of this plant.

This is far from an isolated experience. If you think you’re “scaring” the devoted, hardworking community who had the guts and integrity to build this culture during prohibition that you’re now attempting to appropriate and sell off to big ag, you’ve got another goddamned thing coming. You clearly have no idea who you’re talking to, nor what they’ve endured to get here: we’re in this because we ARE this, past present and future. Check yourselves.

Secondly, you need to state, clearly, what side of the business you’re on. You can’t simultaneously use the lab experience the breeder community has paid you to build, sell yourself off to the biggest fish that waltzes into your bank account and expect to continue enjoying support from the community.

You want to sell out? Fine. But quit acting like you’re not competing with the rest of the industry. Referring back to suggestion #1: it’s insulting. This isn’t a question of a small group of bad actors being really mean and hateful on Instagram, nor is it a question of nuance and context in your communications. Stop bullshitting the people who got you here.

Moving Forward as a Community

To the community at large: we need to take a moment right now. We need to assess, to reflect, to adapt and overcome. There are clearly some mammoth changes coming our way and everything our predecessors have fought and died for is being coveted and actively taken from us by greedy businesspeople who did nothing to help our plight when it really mattered.

As a community, we need a common legal language and framework that breeders can use to protect their work.

We need a scientific community that’s open source, fully transparent and works for everybody equally. We need to support this with personal research, communication and our dollars.

As consumers, we need to support crop diversity and the ability of small farmers to innovate and drive our industry by making our purchasing choices reflect those ethics. 

When we get burned, we pick ourselves the fuck back up and keep moving. Given what we’ve survived so far: this is just another bump in the long, strange trip. Not to worry, we’re gonna WIN this thing. Better goddamned well believe it, Y’all.

With peace, love and respect for everyone involved,

-Dick Fitts

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON HIGH TIMES, CLICK HERE.

https://hightimes.com/news/chronically-il-man-fired-using-marijuana/

[weedconsortium2]

There were perhaps twenty people gathered to hear me speak. For a noon slot, not too bad. All the same, it was my first time giving The Pitch for Phylos Bioscience, and I psyched myself up through a buzzing chest as best I could. Fairbanks Alaska in July is a land without night; having spent the previous evening watching the sun through my hotel window as it barely dipped below the horizon only to creep back up from its catnap an hour later, I was a bit edgier than perhaps I should have been. I stiffened, walked up to the podium, clumsily fiddled with the microphone, had a deep breath and jumped right in. This was my moment, after all. I smiled.

The Script

“Hello, folks! Hope everybody’s had a pleasant morning. My name is Ricky, and I’m here today from Phylos Bioscience.”

Many of you in the grower and breeder communities who are reading this met me under exactly these circumstances. I smiled at you, shook your hand. I answered your questions with austerity and confidence, gained your trust, followed up on the phone, shared laughs and grow stories, tragedies and drug war nightmares. And I even fulfilled your orders for the Phylos Genotype kit, compiling a vast blueprint of your genetics and charting them in the Galaxy, the largest genomic map of cannabis worldwide.

I reassured you time and again, hundreds of times daily: “We are not out to steal your work. We are here to help you protect it, to prove prior art. We’re a different type of cannabis company. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate…” and on and on.

The Flip

Within the last three weeks, a side of the company has come to public light that calls all of this into question. What I helped build was merely a pawn for a horribly different endgame. I helped build an unparalleled data set of the cannabis genome, paid for by an eager public, to help the company build barriers to entry for anyone else who breeds. I helped establish my employers in a dominant and unfair competitive position for this new venture with an eye towards becoming the industry’s number one acquisition target for Big Ag.

And in the end: I am so, so sorry to you all. I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing. I’ve never believed more deeply in what I was doing, nor been bamboozled so fully. I’d like to speak to this, and if I can’t right my wrongs here at least give some thoughts on how the community can move forward independent and strong.

Phylos Bioscience Starts as Testing Facility for Breeders

In case you’re new to this story and its many twists and turns, here’s the nuts and bolts: Phylos built their name as a testing facility, creating a super-cool 3D map of the Cannabis genome called the Galaxy. For depth of information, ease of use and simple visual appeal: it’s unrivaled in the world, truly an accomplishment to be cherished proudly and applauded by any bioinformatician anywhere. Phylos set themselves up as a guardian of people’s genetic work, helping growers and breeders establish a prior timetable of when they had their genetics before the inevitable wave of patents and big ag attorneys looming on the horizon start to rewrite the rules of what belongs to whom.

For years they had a page on their website titled “Tools for Breeders”. This dealt with developing marker-assisted selection, a technology where the specific mutation points on an organism’s DNA code are tracked and understood, then that data used to inform and accelerate traditional breeding. This isn’t GMO, where a CRISPR machine is used to rewrite sections of the plant’s basic DNA. This is simply kicking traditional breeding into overdrive: with a pre-grow genetic roadmap, a breeder could use this tech to decide which seedlings out of a crop will carry the traits they’re looking for; all of a sudden you’re looking at bringing ten plants full term instead of potentially hundreds of thousands, saving time and labor and resources and farmland.

All in all, this promised better, more refined traditional agriculture for the community and a safeguard against private labs under the direction of a multibillion-dollar ag company steamrolling us all out of existence. A level playing field, an honest and even shot for so many small and underground growers who suffered for so long in our drug war: truly a paradigm shift in agriculture with the potential to ripple outwards into the wider web of what we grow, how we grow it and in essence who we are as a culture and species.

This was one of the things that really attracted me to the company, and one of the reasons I’m so sad to see them go the way they have: a breeding program could have been introduced to the public as a series of tools to develop and further their own work. As it goes, this was simply not to be.

Phylos Bioscience Announces In-House Breeding Program

They made their fateful announcement on Instagram on April 9th: an in-house breeding program, one that by definition would not only be stiff competition for any other breeders of industrial hemp or craft flower but most likely bury with the tech they’ve gathered and perfected. Imagine if all the umpires in baseball got together and said they were starting their own team, putting the full weight of their support behind it. Should the other teams, or the general public for that matter, trust them when they tell us they’re not competing, that they just want to contribute to the love of the game?

This was the quandary Phylos presented with their public statement. True, they’d be paying royalties to the original breeders of the building blocks they started with. But they kept repeating it, over and over in the comments section: we’re not going to compete with you. At best it was patronizing and to this day it remains unfounded. And people got…really, really mad.

Community Responds with Outrage

Between the low-level emoji trolls, loud-mouthed blowhards, cannabis influencers and well-meaning, erudite responders who clearly had a much more solid grasp of genetics and science than the company was giving them credit for: it was an unmitigated shitshow. There were the most horrible names, from “Corporate fucking chads” to the worst you can imagine. There were ignorant pitchfork-wielding yokels spouting pseudoscientific nonsense, there were numerous physical threats.

On the occasion that somebody would ask for clarification or a more complete picture of what might be happening with the data they submitted, the slightest optimism in their sentiment was met with some of the heaviest ridicule I’ve witnessed anywhere, anytime. Everybody took their piece of the big bad scientists and their reputation. It was awful for me to watch; like a dream home you spent a year building reduced to cinders quicker than you could comprehend.

They tried to salvage the situation with form responses to comments, a public statement from their PR person (turns out “You know what? I AM a suit. But I think I’m a pretty good one.” …is not a delicate statement when your intent and role in the industry is being called into question), but the community was relentless. They made a second IG post and a post on their website’s blog, attempting to clarify the first but eerily avoiding some of the deeper questions being asked of them. They did what they could to speak to “how scary this must be” for Everyone involved. Some were pacified by this. Most remained skeptical at best.

Phylos Founder Vows to Replace Modern Varieties of Cannabis

Almost immediately afterward, a video of one of their founders giving a presentation was unearthed, speaking at the Benzinga Cannabis Capital Conference in Miami in February. The term “smoking gun” almost doesn’t do it justice: like many of us who had worked with Phylos in the field, and myself more poignantly than most having worked directly for them, put my name behind them, gone to bat for them with my honor and my word… it was really, really hard to watch. I had to go through it several times over several days just to believe what I was hearing. I cried through a lot of it, puked at one point. It couldn’t possibly be real.

“All the cannabis that’s around now will be replaced by varieties that will be optimized and specialized, and we’re going to be the company that makes those.”

“We have huge barriers to entry protecting us.”

“It would be impossible for anybody else to collect this data set.”

“Cultivators can’t do real breeding on their own.”

“Our core business is plant breeding, we had to build two other businesses to support that…so we built an entire testing business to create all that data.”

“We have a really unusual advisory board. They are not there for show… Ron started and ran a couple of seed companies that he sold to Syngenta, he worked for Syngenta for years and is now the CEO of a spin-out company from there. And Barbara until recently was the VP of technology acquisition for all of Dow / DuPont. So, having these guys around is just critical for us, because we’re building a company that is ultimately going to be acquired by that universe.”

It was suddenly, starkly clear that the brass at the top of the company didn’t give a shit about the community they had built themselves up on the hopes and aspirations of. Actually, truly the case that they looked down on that community and the breeder’s art they’ve carried, for decades, risking everything as “a quaint, rural hobby that maybe farmers get into.”

Supporting Big Ag over Craft Cannabis

Since then, their reputation is on fire and the trolls of the internet have decidedly unleashed themselves. Almost as painful to me as watching their credibility disintegrate has been tracking the body of grotesque, virulent, often badly-uninformed and occasionally decidedly ignorant vitriol being espoused in their direction and that of anybody who supports them, or wants to, for any reason, no matter how rational the rationale.

Things seem uncertain at best for their standing in our community. For being the most dedicated, passionate and capable team of people I’ve ever worked with, in any industry: they’ve chosen to support Big Ag over craft botanists, money over the community. They had a real, solid chance with one of the most valuable crops on Earth as it emerges into full marketplace acceptance to stand with the right people, change the way the game of agronomics is played. Instead, they took the money. They fucking blew it.

Worst of all: they set back the trust of the cannabis community in science, possibly by years, until a stable and reliable alternative can present itself. We need to advance and evolve if we’re to survive the coming onslaught of Corporate Weed. It is not guaranteed that we’ll retain control of our culture or our plant, and with this development things just got darker for us all.

A Word of Advice to Phylos

That all being said, I’d like to give a couple of points of unsolicited advice to the folks at Phylos. Maybe they’ll listen, maybe not: all the same I hope that one way or another they take some time to address their tone-deafness on many key points and publicly raised concerns surrounding their announcement. Who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise me in a way that works for everybody. I can’t help but hold out hope.

First of all, stop talking about “How ‘scary’ this must be” for the community. The term that more accurately describes your recent behavior is “insulting”. Here’s why: the language you’re using indicates a complete lack of understanding and empathy for a group of humans who have endured generations of legal persecution, social stigmata and violent crime. I personally have had friends lose their freedom, their possessions, their families, been lined up against a wall and executed – all for the love of this plant.

This is far from an isolated experience. If you think you’re “scaring” the devoted, hardworking community who had the guts and integrity to build this culture during prohibition that you’re now attempting to appropriate and sell off to big ag, you’ve got another goddamned thing coming. You clearly have no idea who you’re talking to, nor what they’ve endured to get here: we’re in this because we ARE this, past present and future. Check yourselves.

Secondly, you need to state, clearly, what side of the business you’re on. You can’t simultaneously use the lab experience the breeder community has paid you to build, sell yourself off to the biggest fish that waltzes into your bank account and expect to continue enjoying support from the community.

You want to sell out? Fine. But quit acting like you’re not competing with the rest of the industry. Referring back to suggestion #1: it’s insulting. This isn’t a question of a small group of bad actors being really mean and hateful on Instagram, nor is it a question of nuance and context in your communications. Stop bullshitting the people who got you here.

Moving Forward as a Community

To the community at large: we need to take a moment right now. We need to assess, to reflect, to adapt and overcome. There are clearly some mammoth changes coming our way and everything our predecessors have fought and died for is being coveted and actively taken from us by greedy businesspeople who did nothing to help our plight when it really mattered.

As a community, we need a common legal language and framework that breeders can use to protect their work.

We need a scientific community that’s open source, fully transparent and works for everybody equally. We need to support this with personal research, communication and our dollars.

As consumers, we need to support crop diversity and the ability of small farmers to innovate and drive our industry by making our purchasing choices reflect those ethics.

When we get burned, we pick ourselves the fuck back up and keep moving. Given what we’ve survived so far: this is just another bump in the long, strange trip. Not to worry, we’re gonna WIN this thing. Better goddamned well believe it, Y’all.

With peace, love and respect for everyone involved,

-Dick Fitts

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[exfortysixzoidberg]

Broken, defeated, and like a fool.

That's how I suddenly felt waking up on an otherwise fine day in the Philippines. A place where I hoped I would be able to enjoy myself and get away from the stress I was being dealt in America. Instead I am somehow met with guilt. Grief. Despair. Wondering what the hell went wrong. I feel like I've let down my friends and family before. Believe it or not, I've been on this same path many times already. Too many times, in fact. And now I'm feeling it more than ever, more than I ever have before. All because of an unfortunate event that had transpired recently on my behalf. The severity of it caused seemingly endless pain and sorrow, which was too much for anyone like me to bear. No matter how many times the people I care about say they still love me, care about me, support me, and always have my back, and no matter how many times they tell me not to worry about it, or that I'm mentally ill and in desperate need of help (which is true, you're reading this from someone who falls under that category), and no matter how many times they tell me I'm still in a healing process that takes quite a long time, I still feel like the worst person on earth. I still feel like everyone hates me for who I am. I still feel like I'm dead to the whole world. I still feel like there is no point anymore in trying to make a change for the better. And I still feel like I'm taking advantage of everyone's heartfelt love and support. Having said that, I feel like I'm a spoiled brat, a selfish son of a bitch who is always taking and never giving. I admit to myself that, for 33 years of my seemingly miserable life, I am totally undeserving of everything I have at this point. I also strongly feel like I'm no longer worthy of the fraternity letters that I worked so hard to earn 10 years ago. I feel like I'm not the right person to represent Chi Sigma Tau, no matter where I am. I don't deserve their letters, I know I don't. Any smart and sane bro from that fraternity would secretly know that. That's precisely how I feel right now. I know and feel like I've lost everything at this point. The chances of me getting back what I've lost and then some are slim to none. As such, there is nothing more I can do right now than to feel sorry for myself and to admit guilt. After all that was said and done by me, the people I offended and let down deserved better...a lot better. Allow me to explain in full detail what went wrong. I woke up and immediately hopped onto my phone to check my Facebook first thing in the morning, only to find out that I had lost more than half of my friends whom I knew so dearly—including my fraternity brothers and family relatives—and along with them their respect. And something tells me that chances are I'll lose even more of them in the near future. I was afraid something like this would happen. It was clearly because of what I posted on April Fools Day of this year. Something that people up to now likely will never forget. Something so sensitive and as seemingly tragic as 9/11, perhaps even more than that. As such, I picked the wrong prank to pull. And it was so completely foolish and stupid of me to even post it on Facebook that I wound up being the Fool...and feeling like one too. To this day, and likely for all eternity, I totally regret what I said and did on Facebook on that fateful day. Like I pointed out previously on Facebook in an apology I gave out, I hoped that this topic would never be brought up ever again by anyone, yet here I am, about to discuss it once more, even though I prefer not to. There are times when you just can't help but talk about it again and again nonstop. For me, today is one of those times. It's easy for anyone to tell me not to worry about it, but no matter what I do, it just keeps coming back to haunt me. It continues to get to me somehow. The pain of my mistake is too much for me to bear at this point. As much as I don't want to talk about it, the loss of more than half of my dear friends, family and fraternity brothers on Facebook serves as a painful reminder of what happened, of what I did. The sensitive topic? It was about a deadly disease that affects tons of people day in and day out. It was about a disease that people fight 24/7. It was about the #1 killer of the most unfortunate people in the world. It was about cancer. And I mistakenly joked about it. On April Fools Day, of all days. And now I find myself feeling forever guilty of it...because I am. All things considered, I know it's my fault and mine alone, and for all that, I'm truly sorry. According to the whole world—or at the very least 99% of it—the April Fools prank I pulled was totally unacceptable and uncalled for. I ended up offending so many people, including those I cared for, breaking their hearts, shocking them, devastating them even. The joke, as cruel as it was, was a slap in the face of the community of cancer survivors and victims. It was the equivalent of spitting on the memory of a loved one. More specifically, in my case, that of my dad, who passed away from cancer. I unfortunately didn't know or realize until then—the moment I got so much unwarranted hate from so many people—that what I did was wrong and stupid, and without a doubt it was dumb. Joking about cancer by pretending to go through what my dad went through certainly wasn't the best way to honor his passing, much less anyone who died from it. My intent to make such a joke like that, let alone any joke, wasn't mean or insensitive at all, but according to a majority of people, it sure seemed that way. I understood from that point on that it was wrong and a mistake to joke about a serious issue that held significant meaning to a lot of people. But that didn't matter, not to anyone else at least. Nevertheless it was offensive and done in poor taste. It was rude, heartless, disgraceful, disrespectful. People still refused to forgive me even after I apologized. The insults just wouldn't stop coming. While most people saw my controversial post as idiotic, others—the more generous and considerate people—saw it as a desperate cry for help. And indeed it was. As you can clearly tell, I've been going through some tough times as of late, and yes I am in fact in desperate need of help. But help from who? If some people out there suggest I seek professional help, what if professional therapists deliberately and blatantly refuse to provide me with the treatment I need to ease this pain and suffering? Who can I come to then for help? Who can I trust if there is no one left for me to trust? Call me an attention seeker all you want. But you don't know or understand what I've truly been through. You don't understand the pain, the humiliation and the heartaches I've had to endure in the days leading up to today unless you have experienced it all yourself. From the time my dad first got sick I kept worrying about him day in and day out, 24/7, the same way that people worried about me when I first pulled the so-called prank. And look where that got him. The thought of losing him never crossed my mind. NO ONE—not even my family or closest friends—had the guts to tell me what my dad was truly going through until the day he passed away. As my sister pointed out, it's very sad to note that I only learned about my dad's real situation—which was the fact that he had cancer—on the day he died, and it's even more sad and unfortunate that he died on my actual birthday. The pain caused by my dad's absence from my life still lingers...and believe it or not, it hurts. For me, especially, it...it just hurts so much, even just talking about it. I'm not gonna lie, even that comment that my sister shared on my apologetic post, I was crying just reading it. They say the ones who normally are smiling the most are suffering and hurting deep inside. And I'm no different from those people. Ever since the passing of my dad, I ended up being one of the most unfortunate people in the world. At least that's how I feel, though I'm sure there are other people out there who have had it worse than me. Losing my dad on my birthday made me feel like my life was cursed, to the point where there was nothing left for me to live for. For me, it meant that my birthday would no longer be remembered as much, even by people I knew so dearly. Rather, it meant that it would forever be remembered as the day I had to say goodbye to my dad. No child wants to have that burden placed on their shoulders, that's for sure. But that's the burden I'm stuck with for good, and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. To much of my family, this is apparently a blessing in disguise. To me, and perhaps to many others, it's the other way around. As of this point, though it may not seem like it, my family is suffering financially and mentally, they are constantly arguing amongst themselves at such an alarming rate, I was laid off from the job that I tried so desperately to hold onto, and I am now left with no hope and no means to support myself in the near future. It hurts me even more to find out that ever since the incident occurred, so many people I was cool with and knew so dearly suddenly turned their backs on me. I have never felt so betrayed in my life until now. They promptly un-friended me from Facebook and spewed all sorts of hatred they can muster at me. Even after I explained that it was a mistake making it an April Fools joke and I apologized for it, instead of accepting said apology and forgiving me for it, they had the nerve and audacity to berate me, threaten me, and say things along the lines of: "I've lost all respect for you as a person" "I'm so broken right now because of you" "You are a fucking disgusting excuse for a human being" "Fuck this guy, he is an insensitive piece of shit" "You are and have always been a disgrace to your father and your family" "I hope karma comes back to bite you in the ass hard as fuck" "I hope you and your family die from cancer you heartless, insensitive piece of shit" This is just to name a few. These aren't even all the insults they threw at me. If any of these was you, I'm sorry...I apologize in advance, but I reserve the right to expose you and put you on blast. If karma truly is a bitch, then I do hope you eat your words and take back everything you said about me, because everything you say can and will be used against you. And to make things even more complicated and worse, these same people are telling me that taking my own life is not an option and is not the solution to my problems. But what does that matter, they all made me feel so betrayed either way, because the more they diss me in any way, shape or form, the more it's gonna make me want to take my own life. With all these insults being thrown in my direction, I feel like more than half of the world hates me and wants me dead, so in a way killing myself may very well be the only logical thing to do. It may very well be the only choice I have, so it seems. To everyone out there I accidentally offended, know this: If you dare to do so much as insult me, threaten me and ridicule me the way you did, you are insulting, threatening and ridiculing my family and everything they value and stand for. I understand that you're offended, and I admit that I screwed up pretty badly, and like I said, I'm sorry. It was all a mistake. It was an accident. I didn't know until now that it was that serious. I do hope you all understand. If you or anyone you know is affected by cancer—and I'm sure there are tons of people out there who are affected by this deadly disease everyday—I will let it be known that I'm truly sorry to hear that, and I hope you or they get better in time. I wanted to explain that I was going through a pretty rough time up to this point and I wanted to express how I felt about it; I just wound up doing it the wrong way, that's all. But now that I've learned my lesson the hard way, you definitely did not have to stoop so low as to insult me or berate me the way you did, even after I apologized and vowed never to joke about cancer ever again. That I absolutely did not appreciate, and feelings were hurt. MY feelings were hurt. I personally didn't insult or threaten your family, so there should be no reason to think you can insult or threaten mine. I already admitted that I'm at fault for my wrongdoing, yet it appears that people still don't seem to want to let it go. They don't know when or how to quit. It's as if a simple apology isn't enough. I asked for forgiveness, they ridiculed me instead. I said sorry so many times, instead they threw all sorts of insults at me left and right. That's how bad it is, and that's what hurts me the most up to this point. That being said, I ask myself, and I ask God, "what more do they want from me? What can I do to repent for my mortal sin that I committed?" I find myself wholeheartedly wishing I could turn back time to before April Fools Day and remind myself to never post something I'll regret saying. Long story short, bottom line is I screwed up. I wholeheartedly admit I could've and should've chosen a better April Fools prank to pull than the one I did. And for that, once again, I'm sorry, everyone. To all those I offended, I humbly and sincerely apologize time and time again. It was my mistake. I vow never to make that same mistake again. I will not allow that mistake to define me. I do hope you all understand that I'm still currently going through extremely rough times ever since my dad passed away. My mom and my sisters are all I have left, now that my dad is sadly gone from my life. They're the only ones who stood up for me and fought for me every step of the way when I couldn't. My sister pointed out in a Facebook comment (which I hope you all read)—on an apologetic post that I made—that even after I already apologized, you are all still giving me a hard time. She is asking that you don't contribute anything more to the pain, suffering and heartaches that my family and I have had to deal with at this point. As her dear brother, and the only one she has left, it's safe for me to say she's right. I can honestly attest to that. Enough is enough. I pray that you'll forgive me for everything I've said and done. That's the only favor I ask of you, for my father, and for my family. If I am truly a dear friend, family member and a brother to you (you know who you are), you would stay closer and closer to me no matter what. If I am truly a dear friend, family member and a brother to you, you would stand up for me and you would always have my back. If our relationship is truly built on trust, you would place the same amount of trust in me as you would your brothers and sisters, as I have in you. If my dad can forgive me for the mistake I made, I'm sure you can too. If God can forgive me for the mortal sin I committed I'm sure you can do the same.