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#but others i am in fear to talk to
waytoobsessed · 1 year
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Half the time I interact with people it's because I got excited or I wasn't feeling nervous - Out of Glass
WAIT SAME THOUGH
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.
#Fear and Hunger#D'arce Cataliss#Cahara#Ragnvaldr#Enki Ankarian#Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs#It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs#I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs#And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set#This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series#If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot#It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights#Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.
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demigods-posts · 6 months
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one thing that'll always kind of bug me is how the conflict of percabeth's relationship the year percy turned fifteen goes unaddressed after they get together on his sixteenth birthday. because dude. percy has never owned his life. he's only perceived his existence a nuisance to gabe, a burden to his mother, or a plaything for the gods. so he spends the year before his sixteenth birthday avoiding everyone that reminds him of that because all he sees in the reflection of their eyes is a dead man walking. meanwhile. all annabeth has ever known is instability. first it was her father, then thalia, then luke. and the pattern continues when she falls in love with the boy who always has one foot out the door. and despite it all. she does everything in her power to ensure his permanence in her life. but is wise enough to know the odds are stacked against her. just because luke died and rachel swore off dating doesn't mean those problems stopped existing.
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ninyard · 2 months
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i think the issue with wanting to create a lil discord is that like ofc i just want aftg friends and for us to talk about our days and be FRIENDS but i also. want to talk about aftg 24/7. i want us to share wips and theories and ocs and thoughts and i just don't know if i'm too insane about it and that's not something anyones ACTUALLY interested in
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gazumirei · 1 month
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the pressure fandom right now
#pressure#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#pressure game#pressure sebastian#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#sebastian roblox#Like bro I have never felt this much “pressure”🤪 with fandom drama before like#like holy hell#I just feel mixed feelings about this entire situation#Like one second I see someone talking shit about the dev team and the fandom while trying to Spread a false Narrative#About zerum and then I see someone defending the dev team and the fandom#Or seeing people deconstruct this entire Situation and just boil it done to people being childish about someone else's character and#Boundaries or I'm seeing horror stories about zerum and zeal and other dev members getting doxxed and harassed#And then I'm seeing people getting pissy about the whole thing because of shipping drama or I'm seeing people calling zeal out for#ableism or something else entirely#Like I get where people are coming from with this#This isn't the only time people got mad at a character for put boundaries on their character#And I know it would be the last time unfortunately#I'm not trying to defend zeal or zerum nor am I trying to get people to hurt them#I just feel awful about this whole thing and it's just a reminder to stick to smaller fandoms where people are less vocal ig#ok i'm done yapping#Selfshippers live your best life#And I hope the rest of the dev team recovers from this and try to learn how to be more Professional#Once again#I'm not trying to defend anyone I'm just confused and scared of this whole thing#I just wanted to make silly crossover art with sebastian and not have the fear of someone coming into my inbox or dms with my full name#For once :(#thank you for coming to my semi vent ted talk about the current pressure fandom issue
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sciderman · 6 months
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rottengurlz · 1 year
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lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you
#this is leona's vampire lover audra#i guess you could say the first time they met was when audra nearly killed her in a blood lust because she hadnt fed in so long#idk how to describe it well but audra suddenly stopped devouring her when leona looked at her with no fear in her eyes#but looked at audra like she was something to worship#she whispered that audra was so beautiful even as her own blood was splattered between them and staining her lips#leona had never seen someone or something so perfect and powerful#power that she wanted and knew exactly how to get when audra whimpered over the slightest bit of praise#i never talk about them but i am CONSTANTLY thinking about them <3#some fun little facts is leona killed her husband in cold blood because he was pitiful and boring#she married the first person to show any interest in her just to get away from her family#he would have been a perfectly good husband for anyone else#but the best part of their marriage was when she stabbed him in the stomach 47 times and felt his blood splatter against her skin#for audra OBVIOUSLY had to make another oc who would do anything to be loved even if it means destroying herself#audra was turned very suddenly and without any guidance#she murdered her lover without even realizing it she opened her eyes to find them splattered across every surface of the room#because of that shes done everything she can to protect herself from others even if it means starving herself of blood#until she goes into a frenzy#leona is the first person she has ever willingly fed off of#idk if willingly is the right word since leona practically begs her to do it#i really want to remake leona now.........#i like how leona looks but i want her to match audra better#mysims#the sims 4#simblr#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#sims 4 edit#ts4
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beanghostprincess · 10 months
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I wanna know who your favorite vinsmoke sibling is so bad actually please tell me 👀✨
My friend and my brother laughed at me when I told them my favorite Vinsmoke is Niji, and I genuinely was embarrassed that day because I didn't really know much about him at the time (I think I had only watched a few eps of WCI) and it's pretty clear in the show that he's, uh, the worst of the Vinsmokes. And by "the worst" I mean: The one who's portrayed as the worst because he's the most active one when it comes to abuse and supremacism within the family line. Unlike Ichiji (who's more serious) and Yonji (who's more playful, somehow) Niji is the one who has to actually fight for a role in his family and that's why I think he's so fucking annoying all the damn time. I hate him. I love him. I want to hug him. But also I wouldn't mind punching him very, very hard. I have mixed feelings, but yeah, Niji is my favorite Vinsmoke. And you haven't asked why, but I feel the need to do some sort of mini argument about this because I am a very resentful person and I want to show my friend and my brother that Niji is actually a very interesting character!! And my fiancé thinks I just like him because he's hot, and she's right but only like a 20%. Maybe 40%.
I will try to put my thoughts into words, but it's pretty difficult because I have a lot of things to say about this blue evil gremlin.
I like Niji the most because I think he is, between the three brothers, the one who shows feelings and ambitions outside their emotionless selves the most. I know they technically are the same, but I don't think so (btw, please assume I'm not including Reiju in this text because she's canonically different from them and I'm just referring to the brothers).
As I mentioned before, I think Niji is the one brother who is the most annoying and evil because he feels the need to stand out. Ichiji is serious, and calculative and has a secure place in the family. He is the number one, even if Reiju is the oldest (I would like to talk more about how Reiju, being a woman, even if she's the oldest, she's the number 0. Because she is the oldest but she's a woman, so she obviously doesn't and would not be able to wear the number 1 like a man would. She is the oldest and yet, she has less significance in the family line than Ichiji. But, yeah, this is something that has nothing to do with Niji, sorry). Ichiji, like all of his siblings, wants recognition from his father, but he doesn't have to try as hard as the others to be impressive because he is, after all, the oldest. The typical "older sibling in an abusive household who has to deal with all the bullshit to protect their siblings"? That's something Reiju took over. That's Reiju's responsibility as the oldest and the woman. Ichiji literally doesn't have to do anything besides leading the team and being the evil, emotionless machine his father created. That does not mean that I don't think he could be able to develop more feelings, because I think he could and I love the concept of him being the first one to protest against Judge's behavior, but you get me. When you're the oldest brother with an even older sister, your responsibilities are pretty limited. So he doesn't have to be anything but there and himself.
Yonji, on the other hand... He is the youngest. Even younger than Sanji. He doesn't have to try, because Niji and Sanji should be the ones to do so. Little siblings are not expected to do much besides existing because irl parents are usually tired of raising children and they end up either getting neglected or seen as decoration. As a little sibling myself I can confirm that these things affect really badly to your brain growing up, but I got a more Sanji treatment so I can't speak for Yonji here. The thing I can say, though, is that in comparison to Niji, Yonji is just there. He's silly and goofy. He's funny. He's dumb. He has the excuse of being the little one to act that way. Getting lost eating or doing whatever. Even the fact that his powers are more physically focused instead of power/intelligence centered shows that he can just punch away his issues. He's the gym bro of the siblings. Don't expect much from him. <- Thing that's often said about little siblings, btw, and affects real fucking badly in early teenage years. The fact that he's portrayed like that is so on point tbh but after all, they don't have high expectations for him, so little to no effort is everything he does.
Then there's Niji, of course. My favorite. Love him. Hate him. Whatever. Niji is the middle child. And God, do I have to say things about middle siblings.
The thing about Niji is that he actually has to try and make a name for himself in the family because otherwise he'll probably get forgotten. I often wonder if he had that fear of becoming the next Sanji once he "died" (he's the only one genuinely asking if Sanji died on them before Yonji and Ichiji say they don't care) because his role is not as noticeable as the others. Reiju is the woman, Ichiji is the successor, Sanji is the weakling getting bullied (being technically one of the little siblings but still being in a limbo of middle/youngest because the little one is Yonji), and Yonji is the little one. Then... What's Niji?
Niji needs Sanji way more than he's willing to admit, and I love that. I absolutely love how he's written because he constantly shows that he needs Sanji, through both words and actions. He needs him because without Sanji's existence -without Niji being his bully- Niji is nothing but number 2. And there's nothing more frustrating than being the number two when it comes to family hierarchy. Not going to mention every little thing he does, but as I said, I love how well-written he is. He's the sibling Oda uses the most to show the abuse Sanji went through, but that's only because Niji is the only one who needs to do that. Niji is the one to talk to Sanji first, all the damn time. He gets angry when Sanji doesn't respond. He gets angry because Sanji can't be bullied anymore. He gets angry out of fear, in my opinion, because if the weakling can't get abused anymore, then he's not worth anything. If Sanji isn't the third, the second one is left alone. 2 can't fight 1 because 1 has the protection of starting the line. And 2 can't fight 4 because there's a missing link that keeps 2 from 4. So Niji is mad at Sanji because Sanji isn't the same weak crybaby he used to be, and he can't use him anymore to be secure and safe.
That's fucking horrifying when it comes to family hierarchy.
I like Niji because, despite being an asshole, he has reasons to be like that. First of all, because his father literally made him this way. But also, the little feelings he has (selfish emotions, yes, evil. But they're feelings, anyway. Urges. He's supposed to be emotionless and yet he knows how Sanji feels enough to use that to his advantage) are used as a way to feel superior and safe because he feels inferior. I think he's the one showing more emotions out of the three, even if those emotions aren't healthy or good and it's just him being angry all the time. That means that if he has urges and needs like that, even if he doesn't fear his own death, he could end up developing more and more empathy. His type of empathy comes from a place of fear. He feels what Sanji feels. And it's not that he doesn't care (I mean, I am aware that he technically doesn't, but let me dream) but it's just convenient for him not to care and keep bullying him to secure his place in the family.
Also pointing out that I like Niji because, being the one who says he hates Sanji the most, he's the one to protect him with his own body when that scene of the siblings helping Sanji escape happens. The others only clear the way, Niji stays with him. There's a really cool post about this on Niji's tag somewhere!!! I personally think he does this because, as that post said: Niji keeps seeing Sanji as weak, instead of believing in him enough to just clear the way. He protects him because he thinks he can't protect himself. Because he's weak.
And yes, it might sound offensive and emotionless and it doesn't make Niji a better person. But it makes him an older brother. Believing in Sanji would be great, but thinking that he's weak and needs protection after years of projecting on him only shows that the weak one is Niji. That he wants and is willing to protect his brother, too. If he didn't care about his well-being he would've just cleared the way for him, not caring about what could've happened to Sanji. But he goes all the way to help him out and protect him longer than the others did. Idk. I find that a very beautiful way of ending their relationship.
All of this being said, I have to be honest with you: When I said I liked Niji for the first time I only did it because people around me kept saying he was the worst one and it bothered me because I found his design pretty fucking cool. And tbh when he started being an actual character? I loved him even more. Because during WCI he's a fucking asshole but the way he acts towards Sanji is wanting to get a response from him, and I just find that so curious and complex... Like, if he just wanted to be evil he'd be more the Doflamingo type. But Niji looks for a response in Sanji's eyes. He wants to feel powerful because he knows he isn't.
And also, well, he's very cute and I like his hair a lot and he makes me furious sometimes which is great because if a character doesn't make you want to punch him at one point, is he really a good character? Look at him! He deserves to get slapped in the face. But also, I would love to kiss him afterward. What's that Olivia Rodrigo lyric? Ah, yes: "I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up. Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut." That's how I feel about him.
I really hope it's obvious, with all of this, that "Succession" is one of my favorite TV Shows, because I could go on and on and on (and nobody would listen but idc) about how the Vinsmokes are just the Roy family. Both One Piece and Succession deal with family in which hierarchy is crucial in a very specific and accurate way. It makes me sick. I love it.
Anyway, have some pics of my blue idiot:
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I want to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.
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dorizardthewizard · 2 months
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a cliche campfire scene with gwayne and criston would cure me i think
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greeen-bean · 23 days
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What type of 'Die a hero or live long enough to become a villain' shut is Netflix PULLING RN!!!!!
Either they'll nuke a show after 1/2 good seasons for really no reason, or give it a handful of seasons that progressively get worse until its the most unwatchable shit imaginable
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snezfics-n-shit · 11 months
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shi0n · 24 days
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me when i finally get a job as an artist and i actually have to draw 😦
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deoidesign · 4 months
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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techmomma · 7 months
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I am increasingly certain after 34 years of life that if you are afraid of something, if you want to get better, then you have to face it. Maybe you face it in little pieces. Maybe you face it with help or holding someone's hand, preferably in a safe environment but not everyone has that luxury. But exposure and being around what scares you is the only way to make it better.
Afraid of the ocean? Go touch the ocean.
Afraid of crowds? Go be around crowds for a time.
Afraid of being alone? Gonna have to be alone for a time.
Afraid of death? Talk about death, maybe go to a cemetary.
Afraid of becoming your parents? Gonna have to face the idea that you ARE probably like them to an extent, in order to NOT be like them.
Afraid of people not liking you? Gonna have to be not liked, sometimes.
Afraid of those thoughts saying you're a bad person. Gonna have to go talk to those thoughts.
Because humans are funny, paradoxical creatures, and almost always, the answer to being afraid of something is embracing it.
The more we embrace the thing we're scared of, the less control it has over us.
But, sometimes, people are also afraid of getting better. The decision to embrace our fears is not one that everyone takes.
Because sometimes, the fear of what is involved in getting better is greater than the original fear itself. It turns into a self-eating ouroboros.
Brought to you by me remembering me avoiding doing scary things and that made them worse and the only thing that makes them better is doing the scary things, even when scared.
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mango-mya · 2 months
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Yes that's Shakespeare please leave me alone
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anistarrae · 7 months
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Thank you for being in the world.
started sobbing when i saw this. i appreciate this very much, thank you so much
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