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blue2jay · 2 months ago

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“Strength in Unity”

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Summary:

During a family visit to your and Leon’s cabin, David struggles to lift wood and, out of frustration, criticizes you for your lifestyle. Leon steps in, shutting him down with a sharp reminder of your strength and contributions. Meanwhile, inside the cabin, Melissa takes jabs at your home and insinuates you rely on Leon for everything. You confidently stand up for yourself, pointing out your capabilities and reminding her that your life choices work perfectly for you and Leon.

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“Strength in Unity”

The day at your cabin home was supposed to be peaceful. Your family had finally agreed to visit the house you and Leon had built together, tucked away in the woods. The cabin was spacious, sturdy, and exactly what you both needed—functional for your careers yet cozy enough to be a true home. It wasn’t long before the visit turned competitive, though, as Melissa and her husband, David, couldn’t resist their usual antics.

The morning started with the men heading outside to gather wood for the fireplace. Leon and your grandfather worked seamlessly, lifting logs and stacking them neatly while your father supervised. David, however, was struggling.

“Damn,” David muttered as he tried and failed to lift a heavier log. “Who cuts wood this big? This is ridiculous.”

Leon, carrying two logs with ease, glanced over and raised an eyebrow. “You alright there, David? Want me to grab that one for you?”

David bristled, clearly embarrassed. “I’ve got it,” he snapped, his face reddening as he failed to budge the log.

Your grandfather chuckled from his spot by the cabin wall. “It’s alright, son. Not everyone’s cut out for manual labor.”

David scowled, muttering under his breath. “Maybe if this place wasn’t so… isolated, you wouldn’t need to do this stuff. But I guess that’s Y/N’s influence, right? Always has to do things the hard way.”

Leon froze, his expression hardening as he slowly set down the logs he was carrying. “Care to repeat that?” he asked, his voice calm but laced with warning.

David hesitated, realizing he’d spoken too loudly. “I’m just saying… Y/N’s always been the type to complicate things. This whole ‘cabin in the woods’ idea? It’s overkill. And let’s be honest, she’s not exactly built for this kind of life.”

Leon took a step closer, his broad frame towering over David’s. “Y/N built this life with me,” he said evenly. “She’s not just ‘built for it’—she thrives in it. She’s stronger, smarter, and more capable than you could ever understand. So unless you want to embarrass yourself further, I’d suggest keeping her name out of your mouth.”

David swallowed hard, shrinking under Leon’s intense stare. “I wasn’t trying to—”

“You were,” Leon interrupted, his tone sharp. “But you don’t have to like our choices. They work for us. And since you’re on our property, I’d appreciate it if you showed some respect.”

Your grandfather let out a low whistle. “Well said, Leon. Now, David, maybe grab one of those smaller logs over there. We don’t want you throwing your back out.”

David muttered something unintelligible and stomped off toward the smaller pile, leaving Leon and your grandfather exchanging an amused look.

Meanwhile, inside the cabin, the women were chatting in the living room. Your grandmother was knitting in her favorite chair, while your mother and Melissa sat on the couch, sipping coffee. You were busy tidying up the kitchen, but you could hear the conversation clearly.

Melissa, as usual, couldn’t help herself. “This place is… nice,” she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness. “A little rustic for my taste, but I guess it suits you, Y/N.”

You glanced over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Rustic?”

Melissa shrugged, swirling her coffee. “You know, out in the middle of nowhere. No modern conveniences. It must be hard to keep up with everything. I mean, I can’t imagine living without a proper gym or a good coffee shop nearby.”

Your grandmother snorted softly, her knitting needles clicking. “You’ve got a coffee cup in your hand, don’t you? And Y/N’s in better shape than anyone I know. What are you getting at, Melissa?”

Melissa huffed, clearly annoyed at being called out. “I’m just saying, it’s not exactly… practical. I mean, I’m sure Leon handles most of the heavy lifting. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.”

You turned around fully, wiping your hands on a dish towel as Melissa’s words hung in the air. Her smug expression only fueled your irritation, but you kept your tone calm, refusing to let her bait you.

“Actually, Melissa,” you began, stepping into the living room, “Leon and I share the load pretty evenly. I can handle my fair share of heavy lifting. This lifestyle works for us because we built it together.”

Melissa scoffed, clearly unimpressed. “Oh, come on, Y/N. Be honest. Leon probably does most of the work, and you… what? Supervise?”

Your grandmother’s knitting paused as she raised an eyebrow at Melissa, but you held up a hand, signaling you had this under control.

“Supervise?” you repeated, your voice carrying an edge of sarcasm. “Last week, I split a whole pile of wood while Leon was fixing the roof. I’ve also been known to carry my own weight on missions, which, as you might imagine, requires a bit more than just ‘supervising.’”

Melissa rolled her eyes, brushing off your words. “Missions. Right. But that’s just temporary, isn’t it? I mean, how long can you really keep up with all this… effort?”

You crossed your arms, meeting her gaze directly. “As long as I need to. I don’t think you get it, Melissa. This life isn’t some phase or compromise. It’s exactly what Leon and I want. I don’t expect you to understand it, but that doesn’t give you the right to belittle it.”

Your grandmother chuckled from her chair, the sound cutting through the tension. “Well said, Y/N. Maybe Melissa could learn a thing or two about hard work and independence. Not everything has to be catered and cushy, dear.”

Your mother, clearly uncomfortable with the exchange, sipped her coffee quietly but didn’t intervene.

Melissa’s face flushed, and she stammered, “I wasn’t trying to— I just meant—”

Your grandmother cut her off with a knowing smile. “Oh, we know what you meant. But maybe next time, you should think before you speak.”

At that moment, the door swung open, and Leon walked in, carrying a large stack of firewood like it weighed nothing. Your grandfather followed behind him with another stack, while David trailed behind, barely managing to carry two smaller logs.

Leon’s eyes immediately found yours, and his smirk grew when he saw your calm but firm stance. “Everything alright in here?” he asked, setting the wood down near the fireplace.

“Perfect,” you said with a small smile, exchanging a knowing look with your grandmother.

Your grandfather clapped Leon on the back, chuckling. “This one’s got a good head on his shoulders,” he said, nodding toward you. “And you, Y/N, you’ve got your fire from your grandmother. Glad to see you didn’t let anyone snuff it out.”

Melissa shifted uncomfortably, her earlier smugness completely gone. David, still catching his breath, plopped down on the couch and muttered, “That wood was ridiculous. Who even needs that much?”

Leon straightened, his gaze shifting to David. “The wood’s for keeping the cabin warm tonight,” he said evenly. “But I guess not everyone’s cut out for the work.”

Your grandfather snorted as your grandmother chimed in, “Well, David, maybe you should hit the gym. It’d do you good. You wouldn’t want Melissa doing all the lifting, would you?”

Melissa’s face turned a deeper shade of red, and she opened her mouth to respond, but thought better of it.

As the evening wore on, the cabin settled into a warm, peaceful atmosphere. You and Leon sat close by the fire, his arm resting casually around your shoulders. Your grandparents shared old stories, your mother stayed quiet, and Melissa sulked in the corner, clearly unhappy with how the day had unfolded.

Leon leaned down, his voice low so only you could hear. “You handled that perfectly,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

You smiled, leaning into him. “It’s easy when I know you’ve got my back.”

“Always,” he said, his hand giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

And as the fire crackled and the tension melted away, you couldn’t help but feel proud—not just of the life you and Leon had built together, but of how strong and united you were in the face of whatever challenges came your way.

#leon kennedy #resident evil #leon scott kennedy #leonkennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader

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hotasfahrenheit · 1 year ago

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something i've been thinking about a lot since watching the end of Love For Love's Sake is what and who exactly is real in the universe that Myungha is playing the game in.

what do we know about this world? firstly, it is presented to us and Myungha as being the world of the story that Myungha read, but focused on Yeowoon instead of the main characters from the manuscript who are a happy couple that ends up together. they don't enter the picture at all; we don't know what point in that theoretical timeline Myungha is inserted into, but this implies it's before Yeowoon meets them since they're just not there.

the next step from there tho is... is the manuscript that Myungha read even real? he remembers the mysterious sunbae being the one who gave it to him to read, but if the sunbae is some kind of god or angel of death, did Myungha actually read it after he died, as part of a test to figure out what to do with his soul?

really my ultimate question that this whole line of thought is digging at is if Yeowoon is also someone being given a chance at life and happiness again, and is as real as Myungha is (and if the other boys are thus real too). despite Myungha seeing the game interface that no one else sees and having the system errors affect his existence in the world, the interactions between other characters when Myungha is not there are too deep and too real to be just NPCs. they're experiencing life and making decisions like fully really people, and living it outside of Myungha's scope of knowledge and what he can see. we get multiple scenes of the characters interacting and doing things without Myungha, and not all of them connect directly back to him or things he's doing.

knowing that Myungha's grandmother already passed away fills in her existence easily- she could very well actually be Myungha's grandmother's soul actually brought into this world as well. clearly some people are not there because they're also dead- like his ex girlfriend appearing as the agent, or his mother appearing in the cafe- but they have much simpler functions in this world. but there's little things- Sangwon struggling with his relationship with his mother and talking about how his father used to hit him too, Kyunghoon having a boyfriend that is always far away and he can't see until some point in the future- that hint to me that they might be other lost souls that had bad or sad things happening in their lives too, that might have brought them early deaths as well.

was the story that Myungha read about Yeowoon a story about another real, sad, lonely person who made the same choice Myungha did? was the game not just a set up for Myungha to save himself and learn how to love himself and others but a way to save multiple souls?

one of the main pieces of support behind that idea for me is the fact that Yeowoon breaks through the haze after Myungha disappears and not only remembers Myungha but is able to take control of the game to bring him back. i agree with this great post from @wen-kexing-apologist that Myungha (and his depression) is the one controlling the game he's experiencing in general and causing the system errors, because that makes sense for the things Myungha sees. but the others don't see them, though they do see the physical effects on Myungha when things happen like him falling down the stairs when he's with Sangwon. they see Myungha reacting to screens only he can see, and they do notice that's he's interacting with them and clearly think it's odd even tho they don't really comment on it.

and in the most crucial moment, Yeowoon finds the pen and the notebook. Yeowoon pushes to remember Myungha, pushes to find him, pushes to figure out a way to get him back, and i cannot believe that he's just some kind of NPC in an actual game or a made up person in a constructed reality that Myungha gets to exist in as the only real human soul. he has drive, he makes autonomous decisions, he is cognizant and aware. he needs to learn about how to love and be loved like Myungha does; he needs to learn how to connect to others and not be alone and adrift. he has a reason to be placed in this world like Myungha does even if he's not the one in charge of it until the moment it matters most.

could this be an alternate reality where Myungha just hasn't died yet and that's how everyone is real and there? theoretically maybe, but the fact that he is experiencing everything as a 19 year old in the current time and not in 2012 means despite going from 29 to 19 means that this isn't just another parallel earth where he's taking over the existence of another Myungha. (plus where would that Myungha go??) also his grandmother being there and being fully a real person means that he hasn't just been placed back into the real world, since we know she's already passed away there as well. i don't have a solid theory yet for how their world exists, i just have ideas about how they're existing within it.

i feel like i'm hitting the point when i'm just gonna be talking in circles about this from here out, since i've been thinking about it in circles, so I'm gonna wrap this up and go think about it for the rest of forever.

tldr is that i think at least Yeowoon and the other boys are all real. they're all being given another chance, with Myungha as their ringleader. they need to learn from him as much as he needs to learn from taking care of them; they all learn that they're worthy of love and friendship in ways they hadn't known before.

they all get their second chance.

#the likelihood of me spending my lunch breaks this week at work rewatching this show is very high #there's so much to think about and analyze and just... love #i will never be over this show #love for love's sake #love supremacy zone #love for love's sake meta #tae myung ha #cha yeo woon #tae myungha #cha yeowoon

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lifeandtimesoftrying · 1 year ago

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Eddie McKenna and the connection between his kindness and his willingness to be wrong

(hi again! It’s Eddie day for TOTA takeover. There will be some spoilers for the show, hence the cut)

I think that one of the most remarkable things about Eddie is that he’s so *willing* to admit when he’s wrong, and this is directly influenced by his kindness. We see this in the very first episode—his first reaction to meeting Campbell is to assume that he’s one of the staff, because he has preconceived notions about what the patients should be like. But once he knows he’s wrong? He’s fine with it, and throughout the series we see him repeatedly advocate for Campbell.

(spoilers start here!)

Eddie repeatedly insists that he and Campbell are a team, and when Radio Scotland want to take Campbell but not Eddie, Eddie… agrees. And furthermore, he *tells* Campbell to take the job.

You also see this worldview with his treatment of Francine. Within the show, she’s the most unstable character, but Eddie actively tries to learn about all aspects of her, and doesn’t dismiss her out of hand. And with Fergus, Eddie continuously insists that he’s qualified, which provides a stark juxtaposition with employers’ and psychiatrists’ treatment of Fergus. And this isn’t because that Eddie went into the job already being accepting—as noted earlier, he *did* have preconceived stereotypes. But he was willing to actually get to know the patients and adjust his assumptions.

He’s also a generally selfless character. He pays Harriet’s lunch (she was the little old lady), and gives his grandmother 3,000 pounds so she can go to Lithuania, even though he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. He goes against his job as a double-glazing salesman and tells the single mother that her windows are fine, just loose, and if she has putty he can fix them for her.

Furthermore, he’s incredibly honest. This is demonstrated with the window example, but it also heavily influences his relationships with the patients, particularly Campbell. Eddie repeatedly tells Campbell to not get his hopes up, and while this creates conflict between them, Eddie’s stance is sympathetic—he isn’t saying it to discourage Campbell, he’s saying what he has experienced and has full reason to believe is true so that Campbell isn’t misled and later disappointed. Eddie is also unusually self-aware. He readily acknowledges that he hates his day job, and in episode 6 when Campbell confronts him, he doesn’t go back on that, but instead makes it clear that what he wants is financial security and respect “for this first time in [his] life.” There’s also the line where in response to Campbell saying “Eddie, you don’t see that job’s killing you!”* Eddie replies, “No, Campbell, my dreams. My dreams are killing me.” And in some ways it’s *true*. Eddie’s job is soul-sucking because of the kind of person that Eddie *is*, and Eddie realizes this, even if he doesn’t give himself credit for it.

(*note: this line might also be “Eddie, don’t you see that job’s killing you!” I believe it’s the former but there are no subtitles to check against.)

The combination of Eddie’s willingness to be wrong, selflessness, and honesty is also what makes the line “he’s funnier than me” (referring to Campbell) so impactful, because it very clearly showcases all three of those characteristics. That statement encapsulates a core part of Eddie’s character, and we as the audience know that, which is why it hits. It’s not false modesty, or a cop out, or something that’s going to be undermined—it’s part of the reason that we want Eddie’s to succeed, and seeing it used in a place where Eddie is going to be punished for it *hurts*.

Finally, I think that this triad is what makes Eddie’s arc of recognizing his alcoholism compelling. This is really the one thing that he doesn’t honestly acknowledge about himself for most of the show, which indicates that it’s far more difficult for him to be wrong about than anything else that we’ve seen. There’s also a double standard between him and the other characters; he is routinely kind to those around him, but isn’t nearly as kind to himself. He views himself as a failure and lets others take his agency away from him, and the first time we really see this stop (or at least pause) is after he and Francine go to Lithuania night. While this could be interpreted as ~romantic love makes everything fine~, considering the sheer amount of respect the writers have for the characters and that the message is clearly not that, I think that that scene shows that Eddie needed someone to be kind to him and appreciate him in order to realize that he *can* and *should* be treated with kindness and respect, which includes him treating himself that way.

#Tota takeover #eddie mckenna #takin’ over the asylum #takin over the asylum #taking over the asylum #I genuinely love Eddie’s character so much #he feels so very real and I have lots and lots of thoughts about him #there’s also an idea rotating in my head about Eddie recognizing Campbell as being in many ways a foil to himself #and how that impacts his treatment of Campbell #but I’m trying to save multi-character posts for after the specific character days #(I’m also busy cause of tech week)#behold! an original post!

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quemirabobo · 6 months ago

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I think that family dramas are the most funny and insane kind of drama

Like my grandmother on my mother's side died in 2019 and I have a cousin who yet doesn't know, we kept it a secret so he doesn't find out, we are forbidden to post any kind of memorial thing (one of my cousins is that kind of person). Why are we gaslighting my cousin? Because he might tell it to his father (who's an absolute shit) and he might want some kind of monetary compensation??? Why you may ask? I have no fucking clue but it would be in character tho. The one who had the idea was my grandma's boyfriend, who is a little younger than my mother, who's the oldest sibling, and my aunt (second child and mother of said cousin) agreed. This aunt has only the bare minimum relationship with my other aunt's and my families, why do you ask? Because she made a move on my uncle, my other aunt's husband (at the time), when she was living with them?? Also treated my mom like shit and that's crossing the fucking line, not to mention that she stalked my big brother and told my mom that he loved her more than he loved our mom???? She would drop at his university every night to see him?? And my grandmother, when she didn't want us to go to her house she would tell us that that aunt was visiting her (she wasn't) and when she wanted to visit her then she would tell her that we were there??? This worked for like 6/8 years????? She went blind and we didn't find out even tho we would talk to her every fucking day??? Also my aunt and uncle on my father's side were friends with my aunt (the youngest) and uncle, they had a really close relationship until my uncle on my mom's side asked the other one to hack my aunt's msn and facebook to see if she was cheating (he was the cheater obviously)? And my little cousin saw them, while my other aunt was trying to distract her but when her mom came back she told her?? She had like 5yo?? Then that aunt called my uncle and told him something like "I too can tell you shit about your girlfriend" and he told her "I already know and we moved on" so apparently my aunt cheated on him??? My aunt on my mother's side didn't know that, she was going to tell her some other shit????

Insane behaviour, I love it

#there's so much more that i can't remember right now #chronicles of Yu's life

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peach-fiz · 1 year ago

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With Robin Williams trending, I'd like to insert my 2 cents about my favorite of his works and one of my favorite movies in general, Hook.

I don't see much about this movie and it's kinda sad seeing as it's such a deep movie about parent child relationships and the fear of death via getting old. And after having read the actual book by James Barrie, it's incredible how accurate they got it. I would also love asks if anyone has other things to add ab it, but I'm mainly going to talk about Peter and Jack's relationships and therefore Peter's relationships with his parental figures. (Tink, Wendy, his adoptive parents, and his birth parents)

The first thing we learn about Peter Banning is that he has a troubled relationship with his (I'm assuming 10 year old) son Jack. Peter himself is a merger and acquisitions lawyer and is deeply woven with his work. We also learn in those same first few minutes that it affects the time he spends with both of his kids.

In the same 2 minute span, Peter agrees to a meeting that occurs during a baseball game he promised his son he would attend, on a phone call in the middle of his daughter's school play where she is the female lead. A role very important to her because she's playing her great grandmother. Of course Peter missed the game and rather, sends a coworker with a camera to film it for him; which sets off a main theme of the film being Peter being unable to be there for his children, mainly Jack.

Next we learn not only does he not keep promises made to his kids but also to Wendy Darling(who took him in as an orphan when he was 13) who has invited him over for Christmas every year and yet he hasn't been in a decade due to work and her living out of the country.

Then when the movie's plot officially starts we begin to understand that Peter is wasting time and not caring (which could be a psychological side affect to being the same age for so many years that his concept of time is generally inept). Much later in the movie they expand on this idea of Jack's relationship with his father not being good and fueled by when they got to Neverland James Hook proposed thst if Peter could touch their hands, trying to get him to fly, that he would let them go.

He climbed all the way up the mast and gave up from grief and exhaustion. But to Jack, this meant his dad didn't care enough to try the tiniest bit harder to touch them.

Then we have later on when Peter finds his happy thought (which is one of my favorite scenes) where he remembers his mother and being Peter Pan and Wendy. I'm going to condense this as much as I can but Peter ran away and doesn't like his parents especially his mother because they wanted him to grow up and b e something and in his tiny baby head that meant growing old and eventually dying which is a fear that has dictated his life. He leaves people behind and breaks promises but when the same is done to him he feels abandoned (the way children do).

I don't know how to write an ending for this but I could continue if anyone is interested!!

#hook #captain hook #hook(1991)#hook 1991 #robin williams #peter pan #peter banning #maggie smith #long post #peachy rants #rant

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sulphuryasecretcloset · 2 years ago

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In the eye of the beholder

“Why are you acting like you don't know?” Flare asks, sounding even more annoyed than usual.

“Like I don't know what?” Corin asks, aiming to walk out of the room and escape her words. She makes him nervous. Flame Troopers made him nervous from the first time he walked into combat with them. Even when they were supposed to be on their side, Troopers dying due to friendly fire, quite literally, was not uncommon. It wasn't that Flame Troopers took delight in killing their allies, they just didn't care if someone was between them and whatever they wanted to set on fire.

Flare moves, fast, and steps in front of him, blocking his escape. She's grinning, but not due to mirth. Usually Flame Troopers would only feel joy when something, or someone, was being devoured by their incinerators and she's probably no different. “You walking around pretending you don't know you're pretty, acting like you have no idea you're pretty, it's either because you are a complete idiot or you're just content to act like one. So which one is it?”

Corin clenches his jaw. He does not like confrontations. He prefers to avoid them and any kind of argument if possible, but Flare is looking for a fight and she clearly won't back off until she has one. Fine. He'll take her on. Flame Troopers make him nervous, but they don't scare him. “How I look has never really mattered to me.” He holds her amused stare with a cold one of his own. “I have spent most of my life wearing that helmet we both know very well, and no one having a clue or caring how I looked. I was just a soldier. And the times when the helmet came off, yeah, there were those who called me 'pretty', and that meant one of two things: One, it was not meant as compliment. Two, it was an empty line that lead to nothing but a one night stand. I'm not special, I never was, I know that. There are people far better looking than me and there are those deemed by others as less 'pretty' due to personal taste, that's just a simple fact.”

Flare grins.“I'm sure Din would disagree. He really likes that face of yours.”

Corin's heart jumps and he feels heat rising in aforementioned face. “Yeah, well, I'm just lucky he does.”

Din is the only soul who has complimented Corin on his looks and made him believe it, made him feel good about himself. He might not agree with Din, a part of Corin won't allow himself to think he's above average on any area, but he believes that he is good looking in Din's eyes and that is all that matters to Corin. If his face meets Din's approval, Corin won't change a single thing about it.

“Based on this, I guess that makes you a complete idiot then, huh?” Flare declares.

“If that is the name for someone who doesn't care about their looks, I guess so.” Corin replies easily enough. “And that makes two of us, huh?”

Flare's eyes are beautiful, if you disregard the crazy in them. Her hair is thick and would have been a flattering frame to her face if not for the singed parts and the uneven bits cut off it. Her skin is probably lovely under the grease and soot. Her smile is scary but pretty as she acknowledges his reply. They both have more important things to care about instead of their looks.

This time, when Corin steps aside and moves by her to leave the room, Flare lets him. Corin cannot deny he feels a rush of relief as he walks away from her and her pyromaniac tendencies.

Walking down the hallway, Corin catches a glimpse of his reflection in a window as he passes by an open door to one of the common rooms and he sees nothing but the face and the body he's had with him his entire life. He hadn't been lying when he says he sees nothing worth looking twice at.

His father's only comment on Corin's looks as he was growing up had been resentful remarks about how much he looked like his mother. His grandmother had sneered that Corin looked too much like his father and that was definitely not meant as a compliment. As for his body, Uncle Vecon kept complaining about how Corin wasn't putting on muscle fast enough during training, and next to Paz Corin still feels like the scrawny kid he once was.

No, Corin's looks are not remarkable in any way.

Except to Din.

Corin smiles. That is more than enough for him.

#the mandalorian his son and the storm trooper #the one-shots start coming and they don't stop coming

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terra-feminarum · 1 year ago

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Hi. Sorry for the random message. But you seem really knowledgeable and I wanted to ask you a question. Or many questions as it seems from my paragraphs below lol.

I know you’ve stated transitioning is a capitalistic desire to become something you aren't in order to experience femininity, or whatever you desire to become, without the strings of being who you are, and that we are estranged individuals who run to fantasy when we can’t cope our reality.

I am an ace trans woman. I know it seems as if I'm a man, a man who wants to use femininity as a product to cure myself or to heal myself, just like everything else men use it for. Only I took it a step further because I wanted cheap approval.

Maybe I am those things, maybe I’m selfish, maybe I’m delusional. Maybe I’m no better than a drag queen who calls women “fish” or whatever.

But a part of me believes that it isn't that, that it runs deeper than that, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want this to be true. I've never wanted approval from anyone, and if I became invisible one day with no one to see me transition or change except myself, I believe I would be very happy. I remember reading a study that trans brains are more inherent to their gender than they are the predisposed gender attached to their sex. If I have the brain of a woman and the body of a man, where does that put me? Am I just a joke that God played?

I don’t know.

I know you mentioned that transitioning has always been purely physical. But for me it isn’t like that. I was already born with a body that overall, was feminine enough for me. Is it based off of stereotypes? Maybe. And maybe that makes me inherently selfish. But I’m ok with my body, at least for today.

I've always believed that I embodied feminine traits. I've always tried to be caring, I've always tried to give and receive. I've always tried to be emotionally strong, and I've always tried to be empathetic. Not tried in an imitation sense, but just really wanted to give it my all. Do what my mother and grandmother did in a sense, to follow in their footsteps. Maybe I have a flawed idea of what feminist is, but honestly who doesn’t? It’s been so skewed by societies expectations of women, that it’s like keeping track of an electric atom. But I have a deep feeling, that may or may not be flawed in of itself, but if anyone had a perfect idea on what things were we would already be on Mars in a utopian matriarchal society.

It's always been taken advantage of. A lot of men have called me gay, and when I tried makeup I was a drag queen. That always humiliated me, as if I wasn't really a woman, just a pale mocking imitation of one that men created. But maybe they’re right. I've always felt I had feminine energy. Is that too abstract? I really hope I'm right in a sense, but if I should give up now and go back. I don't know what to do.

Have I based myself on a lie?

Maybe this is the gender equivalent of chasing ghosts or taking pictures of UFOS. Striving for something that is ultimately pointless and fantasy. (Would you be surprised if I told you I believed in ghosts)

Are all trans women just strange offshoots of body modifiers who took advantage of femininity as a cure for their own self deprecation? I would be lying if I said I knew the answer.

All I know is that I’m not crazy. And I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone, or myself. All I’ve wanted is to become a vet, take care of my 4 dogs and 2 cat and make some difference in the world, and maybe pick up some gender along the way.

Sorry for the long read, thank you for your time. It means a lot. I think you have some of the most intelligent and nuanced tales I’ve heard in a while. Even if I don’t personally agree. Let me know if i misinterpreted what you’ve said. I hope this adds at least some sort of value to the conversation.

Hi, and thank you for your message. I like random messages.

I'm glad to hear you try to follow in the footsteps of your mother and grandmother when it comes to empathy and being caring. That's what all people should do, regardless of sex. Being like a good mother isn't a female virtue but something we all should strive towards. There have been times and places where striving to be like a good mother wasn't humiliating for men.

This is a bit of a tangent but I do have to disagree that in a perfect world we would have a matriarchal society on Mars. We would be here and our planet would be livable for all the future generations to come. Using valuable resources for pointless endeavors is a male fantasy. And by that I don't mean you believe that because you are a male but it's a fantasy of a male-dominated culture. I very much believe a good society wouldn't use natural resources and workforce like that. For most of our history humans were clever enough to live without leaving a trace. I think that is something we should also strive towards.

But this is off-topic. You seem like you're in distress. To me it sounds like you've had a lot of hardship with not fitting in and you're trying to find a way to make sense of that and find a way to feel like you belong. The way you've made sense of who you are is by claiming, or hoping, you're a woman.

You said you've always had feminine energy. You asked if that's too abstract. I have to admit I don't understand what is feminine energy. You wrote to a woman who is most of the time more or less dirty, has short hair, doesn't shave. I wear "men's" clothes and swear non-stop. Where is my feminine energy? Do you have it and I don't? Am I a woman? Or is my capability of empathy the feminine energy I have? Are men inherently devoid of it? How much empathy a man has to have before he stops being a man? These non-physical ideas of womanhood and manhood make me ask questions I've never found good answers to.

You also said you believe you might have the brain of a woman. This too, is a male fantasy, this artificial division between mind and the body. There can't be a female brain inside a male body. There can be an atypical male brain, sure, but it doesn't make it a female brain. I'm under the impression that those kind of brain sex differences have been debunked, anyway. But even if they weren't, our whole bodies are sexed. There isn't a separate soul that could be of different sex than your body. Women aren't oppressed for our souls but our bodies which are capable of creating life. A woman with a "male brain" would have been still forced to birth 12 children in the past. Our bodies are what the patriarchy controls.

Associating womanhood with certain personality traits or certain looks is harmful for women. We aren't a costume. The things trans women describe when they argue why they are women are stereotypes. If these stereotypes are a proof of womanhood, it hinders us from freeing ourselves of those stereotypes. To be free, women need to be able to be any kind of people. But now there's so many young women who believe they're not women at all because they don't recognize themselves in the stereotypes.

All this said, I don't think you've based your identity on a lie. Lying implies knowingly deceiving someone. I'd rather think you've based your identity on certain cultural concepts that help you make sense of what kind of person you are. I believe you find those beliefs comforting and have no bad intentions.

How I understand a lot of trans women are is that they are males who don't fit the social role that is expected of men. They feel more comfortable in the social role associated with womanhood. It's by no means easy to be a trans woman but it's easier to assimilate and think women as your peers, when compared to being a man who is everything a man isn't supposed to be and who is often very alone in his experience. As a trans woman you have a community, you have words with which to make sense of yourself, you have a feeling of sisterhood, maybe with other trans women, maybe with all women.

I'm all for gender non-conformity. Having a certain kind of body doesn't mean you need to act certain way, have a certain type of personality or prefer a certain kind of style.

So: What is a woman? A woman is an adult human female. It excludes males, like you. It doesn't mean I want you to change yourself. You have your personality, your values, your sense of style that fits you. Does it make you a woman? I don't think so, no.

We could, of course, broaden the definition of womanhood to include males. A lot of people like you find comfort in the idea. But we can't. We live in a patriarchy. It means male dominance over women. And we need words to talk about that.

Adopting an oppressed identity to fulfill your personal needs so you'd feel you belong hurts the oppressed people. Just a comparison: my values align a lot with what I've read about many indigenous peoples values. But I see those values through my western lens and can't even see the huge distortions I most likely have. My knowledge is second hand knowledge based on books and I have no idea what it's like to be indigenous. I have my own feelings of alienation as I struggle within my own culture and so I become attached to things I think I recognize myself in. But it doesn't mean I am indigenous nor does it even mean I understand those other cultures at all. I could be very mislead in my western fantasy. So what I need to do is to be in touch with who I really am and where I really am and create something genuine from that starting point. Something that aligns with my values and who I am. I don't need to appropriate an identity to carve a place for myself in the world, and to change the world.

You see where I'm going? People like you could do this. You could destroy all the rules imposed on you and become the kind of man you need to be, and maybe the kind of man the world needs, too. I know it's not easy. People like you are being mocked, even hated. It's not easy, of course it's not. But I believe a good feminist ally would rather use his energy to build new kind of manhood, rather than come to our spaces, claiming to be just like us, when you aren't.

I don't think trans women are inherently selfish or evil. I know many kind and nice trans women personally. I think a lot of you are going through the same process that caused me to believe I was a man. But to change the world and to be genuinely comfortable with oneself, the reality needs to be accepted.

I'd happily share spaces with kind and nurturing men, and might feel we are similar as people. I believe that is what many trans identified males wish, to be one of the women, so to speak. But being comfortable around women doesn't mean you have a right to forcibly claim our spaces and our attention and our resources. I believe many women would gladly share their time with people like you and would think of you as sisters. But I wished it wouldn't have to involve pretending to be us.

This is what I think about this right now. I don't know if this is my final opinion on the matter. I have no ill will for male people who feel kinship with women. But my priority is women's right to our own words which we need so we can tell the story of our oppression.

#trans #feminism

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seyoonlgc · 2 years ago

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hello hello, it's mr. calm, cool & super awesome!

just kidding, he's actually just some cheerful guy from a rural city in canada, here to try out his luck. where did all of his optimism come from? well, he must have soaked up a lot of sunshine while picking through the blueberry fields during the summer time.

more info about him is under the cut. please like this post if you would like to plot & i'll hit you up! i came up with some plots but am better off just brain storming. if you want something in particular, please bring those ideas to the table. i am open to most things!

thanks for all the welcomes and i look forward in writing with everyone.

CHILDHOOD.

seyoon's parents divorced soon after he was born. neither of them wanted the kid, but one had a softer heart than the other. seyoon's dad took him back to canada, and raised him with the help of grandparents and experienced neighbors. he remarried a few years later, to a woman who had more gentleness in her eyes. she treated seyoon well, taking care of him as if he was her own.

but it wasn't enough. when he was old enough to learn he was born from another, seyoon insisted on sending a letter to his real mom. his birth mother responded right away, but his step mother hid the letter until he was much older because the words in there would have been too cruel for a child.

seyoon played in the blueberry fields with his step siblings. healthy, energetic, and adored by all the elderly nearby. he liked bears, and his grandmother would hand stitch a bear onto every piece of his clothing item. she knitted him sweaters and scarves, socks and gloves. she told him that he was her favorite.

grandma was the only one who reassured him like that, though. did his dad really love him if he was willing to let him go once? could a step mother truly see him as an actual son? did his snuggly lil step siblings know they weren't actually related by blood?

TEENAGE YEARS.

tw: implied suicide

average academically, but great at sports. seyoon/abie (his english name) was well liked by his peers and made tons of friends. he's out socialing five out of seven nights of the week, and so popular that kids from the nearby schools knew him. both of his ex-girlfriends were really smart and total knockouts.

but he wasn't there for someone who desperately needed him. twelve calls on that night and he never picked up. he cried at the funeral, asher, but he forgot about you not too long after. you don't blame him, do you? you want him to move on, right?

end of tw.

ADULTHOOD.

after high school, his birth mother wanted him to visit so they can reconnect-

he resented her.

-and he said sure, why not! because seyoon understood it was not good to hold onto negative emotions, and that he should forgive people for their mistakes. seoul was a beautiful big city and he fell in love! his mother asked him if he would stay with her in korea, at least for a while longer and he agreed.

it's not like he loved the apartment she rented for him or anything...but it was fucking gorgeous. with giant windows and high ceiling, the most wonderful view at night time. it was worth saying goodbye to his family back home...at least for a little while.

seyoon worked at a fried chicken place for two years, practicing his korean and getting to know the city. took some dance classes on the side for fun.

his mother paid for those classes. she married wealthy and could afford to be kind now.

in 2022, he joined legacy and it's been fun so far. seyoon loves singing and dancing and making people smile!

PLOTS.

there's sincerity in silence - he's not smiling when he comforted you on that particularly rough day, and that's how you know it was real.

oh hey, is that my ex? - awkward reunion? he's acting nonchalant, so maybe we are still be friends? [female, must have been in canada at some point]

even on the longest day, the sun must surrender to darkness - kim seyoon has a problem with nightmares? he mumbles the same name but doesn't seem to recall a wink of it by the next morning. you, as his dormmate, is really troubled. or maybe you just want some goddamn sleep. [must be in the same dorm as him]

knock knock knocking on your heart - is a smile enough to make you fall in love? even if it only lasts for...45 seconds?

would you backstab a friend? - your character got some sort of injury or sickness that affected an important evaluation and my character has something to do with it. maybe he accidentally made you twist your ankle or gave you spicy soup that temporarily rip'd your voice. there's no way he would do such a thing on purpose, right?

sleep spell - your character suffers from insomnia, and seyoon's quietly hummed lullaby can put them to sleep. [same dorm preferred]

i know what you did - your character believes seyoon knows one of their secrets and...well, the guy seems kinda loose mouth wise. maybe y'all should have a discussion and make sure he doesn't spill

#this is unnecessarily long #feel free to skip to plots if you don't want to read it all #lgc:intro #I have to go out so I amma post this now and reply to messages later #thanks!!!

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ailelie · 2 years ago

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Okay, the title I gave the last post gave me another idea.

Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian have been night-hunting in an attempt to improve their relationship while their children spend a year in Meishan Yu with their grandmother.

Because of this, they learn of Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren's deaths sooner and find Wei Ying in the inn before he is turned out onto the street. He is roughly 4 or 5 years old at this point and even Yu Ziyuan doesn't want to turn him out on the streets.

That doesn't mean she likes her husband's plan of just bringing him home like that's a thing people do.

"People will talk," she tells her husband. "They will say he is yours and I will lose face. We can take him as a disciple, but not into the family."

But Jiang Fengmian, while too quiet and soft for her tastes, is a very stubborn man.

Yu Ziyuan considers leaving. She could return to her children and simply live with her parents and them and let her husband tug this whole mess down on his own head. But she won't do that.

"I have conditions. Either you agree to these conditions or I leave."

Her husband brushes a hand through the hair of the sleeping child. She wants to hate him, but for this to work, she can't.

She and her husband have had many marital issues, including nearly a year not long after Cheng's birth when she returned home, intent on dissolving their union entirely. She wants him to fight for her and, when he refuses, she leaves.

(In another universe, this leaving stops when the child arrives as she refuses to cede ground to the interloper).

"He is ours," she tells him. "He takes our name. We bribe whoever we must so that he has always been ours. Like A-Li, he has been sickly and so he has been living with my relatives in the hope they can help him. Our night hunts are a cover to visit him. Whatever his true age, he is now a year younger than A-Cheng. Do you understand? I refuse to compete with a dead woman so either he is mine or I am gone."

She watches her husband, knowing this demand hurts him. Erasing Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren from A-Ying's life hurts him. But, accepting him into her household and enduring the endless rumors and speculation his presence would cause hurts her.

Finally he speaks, "Jiang Ying is a fine name."

When A-Ying awakens, Ziyuan unties the red ribbon from his hair. "A-Ying," she says. "I am your mother now. You are Jiang Ying. You are three years old. You must remember that. A monster has killed your parents and their spirits asked my husband and I to keep you safe. The only way we can do that is if we fool the entire world into thinking you are someone you are not. Do you understand?"

"Like pretend?" the child asks.

"Very, very important pretend," she affirms. "Now what is your name?"

"Wei, no, Jiang Ying," he says.

"Very good, Jiang Ying," she says. "And how old are you?"

"This many!" he says, holding up three fingers.

She catches his hand and presses a kiss to it. "And who am I?"

His eyes fill with tears. "Did they really ask you?" he asks.

"I made a promise," her husband says, side-stepping the question easily with truth.

A-Ying rubs away his tears and sets his face in a stubborn expression Ziyuan will learn to fear in the future. "Mama," he says. "We go home now?"

She gathers him into her arms. "Almost," she says. "First we need to collect your older sister and brother."

Over the following days, Ziyuan quizzes the new Jiang Ying repeatedly until his answers are automatic.

Over the years, he forgets he is not their natural born child. His early memories of other adults explained by his years with Meishan Yu.

Then Ziyuan and Fengmian die and Yanli is the only one who remembers he is adopted, though even she does not know from whom or why. It is not until she is looking through the remains of her father's study after the war that she finds a half-burnt letter from a Wei Changze sharing the birth of his son, Ying.

She has to decide whether or not to upend Jiang Wuxian's world. (He is still Wuxian because in this AU, Changze and Fengmian picked courtesy names for each other's sons long before they were even married).

In this world, when Jiang Cheng loses his core, he forces himself to hide his despair because he is a big brother and has a younger brother to protect. He likely even warns Wen Qing that Jiang Wuxian will try to do something stupid and to not let him. When people challenge that he cannot be a Sect Leader without a core, he points to his brother and says something like "He has spiritual power enough for the both of us." This is a Jiang Cheng who was never made to feel inferior. Wuxian's successes are proof he is a good role model and teacher for his younger brother. No Core transfer. No demonic cultivation. No Stygian Tiger amulet. But the Jin still round the Wen into labor camps. And Wuxian is torn between helping them and supporting his brother who is trying to lead a sect without a core. Because of this he actually asks for help. (Or worse comes to worst, this is when he learns about his past and how he is actually a Wei rather than a Jiang and decides to use rescuing the Wen as an excuse to run away. So then his siblings have to get through to him.

#AU #yu ziyuan #mdzs #plot bunny #fic i want to read

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s-b-party · 2 years ago

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Vultur Volans: Alhaitham and the Flying Vulture

****Possible spoilers ahead!!! (TW: there is one pic of a vulture covered in blood)

Our “feeble scholar”, Alhaitham, is someone who prefers to be away from the eyes of others not because he cares about how others perceive him but because he would prefer to not interact with others (that’s so relatable😭)

Volans means flying/soaring & Vultur is a generic translation for vultures, but not many vultures today have it as part of their scientific name; the reason for this is bc the word vulture is used to refer to a group of raptors that look similar & share a common trait: they feed on carrion

So why is his constellation the vulture, a creature that tends to stand out in the skies or whenever it’s feeding, when he himself is often hard to find?

Normally the first thing we think of when we think of a vulture is “a bird of prey that is an intimidating scavenger,” but there is a lot more to it than just how we perceive it (TW: blood on vulture in 2nd photo)

Vultures are intelligent creatures & can be quite wholesome when we look at the way they look after their own family

Like other birds, they will digest food first to regurgitate back into their chicks’ mouths so that their offspring can get the nutrition they need; interestingly, this includes bones which are an important source of calcium (listen, I think they’re wholesome even with this regurgitating behavior, you can’t change my mind 😂)

They are usually social animals that live in groups although few may choose to be solitary

Now that I’ve gotten the wholesome agenda out, let’s look at the symbolism associated with vultures; although they are usually associated with death, there are a LOT of meanings attached to vultures, both positive & negative, so I’m going to focus on the ones that I think can be strongly connected to Alhaitham & his lore: motherhood & intelligence

Intelligence is the easiest out of the two to see in his lore, but motherhood is probably the last thing you would think of as a concept present in Alhaitham’s lore at first glance, but I think we should take a closer look at his childhood & how he was raised since it would eventually lead to him becoming the person he is today (motherhood is present essentially in the entirety of his Character Story 5)

He had a grandmother who raised him after the death of his parents. His grandmother had essentially become the mother figure in his life who clearly loved him & understood him. She knew that Alhaitham was incredibly smart even for a child, reading difficult works at the age of seven

She opted to have him start school early, but when he came back telling her that everybody was boring & that he preferred reading books over listening to others lecture, she agreed to let him be self-taught rather than forcing him to attend school

This reminds me of those situations where students sometimes become depressed because they’re not getting the intellectual stimulation needed when they are forced to learn at the same pace as those who are struggling to understand or are new to learning the topics (it might not be the same exact situation but it could speak to him not enjoying his time at school)

Some might wonder “Wouldn’t his self-taught education have negatively affected his social skills since he most likely saw others at the Akademiya boring and thus avoided interacting with them?”

The thing is when it comes to his social skills, there are a number of factors to consider: he knows that everybody has different strengths & weaknesses in various aspects (intelligence, work capability, judgement, etc.) & he knows that he is very different from them, so he already understands that his interactions w/ “ordinary” people are not going to be quite fulfilling; we have to keep in mind that he was VERY young (7 years old) when he was reading about topics that probably many children wouldn’t have understood at that point

I think it goes back to the idea of needing proper intellectual stimulation so that could explain why he called those people “boring” & why he didn’t really vibe with the lectures from that day

We know that he avoids interacting with others, it’s not that he’s incapable, it’s because he doesn’t think such interactions are quite necessary; if it is necessary for him to interact w/ somebody (like in the archon quest w/ the traveler), then yes, he will make an appearance & interact, but otherwise, you’re not going to have much luck w/ him

A subtle factor to consider that could further explain his attitude towards socializing with others is the environment of Sumeru itself when the Akasha was still running

Up until the point when the Akasha was shut down by Nahida, many of the citizens took everything that the Akasha ever told them to be factual without ever questioning it, but Alhaitham merely saw it as another source of information that he didn’t completely rely on

For him, it probably felt like being in a nation full of sheep (the mob mentality was probably strong); if he’s interacting with someone who’s just going to regurgitate what a machine tells them, he might as well just be using his own Akasha; chances are he frequently encountered people who simply placed their trust in the Akasha rather than question it

There’s also the fact that knowledge in Sumeru is highly prized & those who show evidence of being geniuses or prodigies are usually shown with much respect (qualifying people based on intelligence is what divides the citizens of Sumeru to the extent of a hierarchy; it’s the reason why there is an obvious divide mainly between scholars & the desert people even though the latter for a long time didn’t have access/had limited access to resources that scholars had within the city so it’s an unfair assessment of the desert people to begin with); Alhaitham is someone who doesn’t like extravagance/over-the-top treatment, which we can see in how his position is something that is glorified/hyped up by others

In other words, he doesn’t like people making a big deal out of matters or stalling around when it comes to conversing

Alhaitham’s grandmother taught him to not take his intelligence & uniqueness for granted; bc his intelligence is so high, she believed that it was his responsibility to always stay clear-minded & objective

As a result, Alhaitham doesn’t care about being exalted as a genius or looked down upon as a loner by others in Sumeru; he just looks at everything as it is without overly praising/criticizing something/someone

You can tell it’s a trait he values, he’s even smiling as he mentions it being one of his strengths

Understandably, there are going to be people who don’t like him after talking to him because their feelings WILL be hurt not only because he’s straightforward with his words but also because not everybody will react well to being exposed/being told they’re wrong/questioned, etc.

Obviously Alhaitham isn’t trying to be mean unless he’s intentionally trying to bait you, then that’s another story, but he will & does acknowledge both a person’s weaknesses & strengths (a lot of people will find his bluntness to be a negative quality, but at least nobody will ever have to worry about him dancing around in a conversation with rhetoric)

In the end, Alhaitham seems to be happy living a life where he doesn’t have to interact with others a lot; his grandmother wanted him to have a peaceful life too so it seems to be a win-win situation for Alhaitham honestly considering that he gets paid well as a scribe & he is living comfortably

What’s interesting is that society even in our world views being a loner as a negative trait because it implies that you don’t know how to interact with people & there seems to be a requirement(?) to be able to interact with others because that’s just how it is (for any occasion regardless of whether it’s personal or business)

As I’ve said before, it’s not that Alhaitham doesn’t know how to socialize, he chooses not to if he can help it whereas others are just not comfortable doing so

Now the reason why I talked so much about his social skills is because part of it is how he was raised not just in Sumeru but also by his only family, his grandmother who essentially became his mother figure, going back to the concept of motherhood being present in his lore

Based on how he is in the present, I would argue that he was raised well in spite of his bluntness; his grandmother loved him & wanted him to be happy; it sounds like she didn’t force him into anything that he didn’t want to do (like going to school), she taught him to never take his intelligence for granted & to always remain objective; by letting Alhaitham be self-taught, she helped him to nurture his critical thinking skills & his ability to question others

We don’t know exactly if she ever brought up the topic of being blunt to Alhaitham, but if she did, it didn’t really seem like she saw a problem with it, at least not enough for him to change his ways from a young age

It’s interesting seeing such a character and knowing that his family loved him; honestly when we first met him in the archon quest, I wasn’t expecting to hear about him having a grandmother who took care of him; it’s wholesome, maybe not as wholesome as some other things in the game but it’s still a bit wholesome 😊

#genshin impact #genshin spoilers #genshin lore #genshin constellations #genshin alhaitham #tw: blood #there's one pic with blood on a vulture

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kquil · 3 months ago

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HI POOKIE!!!!! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? I hope everything has been going well for you—if not, I pray things start getting better ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

I sent two asks separately so I’m going to divide my reply into this one ask (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

first ask:

HAHAHAHAHA MONSTROUS ASK I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THAT, but yes I couldn’t contain my geeky side coming out + I had to let you know how much I enjoy reading your work! it’s the least I can do after all your hard work (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

your personal headcanoon was delivered exceptionally! And your inspiration for it is even more endearing ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩) . I always get so sappy when I see older siblings subtly protecting younger siblings. But yes you’re right, our little pookies deserved so much better (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡ (but yay cause both of them found a home!!)

Agreed! Orion is a man child, the type of man child you’d want to give diarrhea too... 𓁹‿𓁹 I’m sure the reader is going to make it sting more and I’m going to sit in my desolate room and laugh like a hyena ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ (I think my neighbors can hear me laughing out loud they always side eye me after I have a laughing session)

I can understand your dislike for mr dumbles (ᵕ—ᴗ—), but he is quite mischievous himself hahaha. Yes!!! Now having reader to compare loser Orion to, they’ll be able to know what they deserve with their beloved mother beside them.

IDK IF I LOOK CUTE WHEN IM BEING A MENACE BUT THANKS HAHAHA IM BLUSHING ( ꈍ◡ꈍ) I can tell, she’s gon have an immense effect on them and I can’t wait to read it!! it’s so obvious reader’s gon be the cool mum (•̀ᴗ•́ )و (she already is)

Baby Regulus is a cutie-pie!!! I’m so happy you got to write Mcgonagall! YAYYYY!!!

You’re doing an amazing job at writing this series, I was hooked from the beginning—I just didn’t have the courage to send an ask before (╥_╥). And of course I must tell you how much you have an impact— I’m sure on all of us ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

DAMOCLES AND RUTH ARE PERFECT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH KQUILLLL LIKE I GUSHED SO MUCH READING CHP 6. Their love for each other is so pure. I don’t know if you plan to make the blacks (excluding loser Orion) a family friend of this lovely couple BUT if you do, they’d be a such a great example of a healthy couple for regulus and sirius hehe. of course we have the potters and the lupins…I’ve often seen the parents in these families be depicted as healthy—there’s not much on Peter’s family, sometimes he’s just living with his mother or grandmother. I don’t know what you plan to do further but I know I’m going to love it anyway hehe.

And yes I know you love your cliffhangers, always leaving us longing for more ¬‿¬

Can’t wait to see what is up with walburga, I kind of have an idea but I’ll let you know if what I thought was correct or not once you post chapter 7!!

AGAIN I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR WORK IS APPRECIATED AND LOVED. I’m happy I can express it to you hehe (I’m going to try to ignore that you called me a lovely darling cause I’m shy OKAY AHHHHH THANK U)

second ask:

I WAS A TREAT? YAYYYY!!!!!

hahaha yes! Halloween isn’t widely celebrated here. We do have a few events but people usually do it for cosplays or the country does it in specific tourist spots. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT IS ALWAYS ALIVE WOOHOOOO. Also I’m stealing this emoji from you ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ hehe

hehehe of course ♡ ♡ ♡

I try to have a positive attitude as much as I can haha!! Thank you for your encouragement (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ADVICE!!! I really appreciate it ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

I actually used to write before but I stopped in between due to my poor mental health. I’ve been meaning to start writing again but I was hesitant. However, a friend of mine really encouraged me to start and I thought to ask for advice and this really helped and encouraged me!!

Creative writing had always been an escape for me before I completely stopped so it feels foreign yet familiar. Thank you so much once again hehe ≽^•⩊•^≼

I’ll make sure to send the sources your way soon! Being a witness to the ones suffering is really important when a lot of people continue neglecting or ignoring them and honestly it’s the least we can do. Thank you so much for showing up for them! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚

-🌸

MY DARLING! HELLO! I'm so sorry it took me this long to reply, the past few weeks have been crazy busy but i'm finally getting back on track with things so i think your prayers have worked hehe~ (。>\\<)♡

first ask

Yeah! Oh my goodness, I think your ask was the longest ask I had ever recieved! It was very much a monsterous ask (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) but please feel free to let out your geeky side and telling my your thoughts, it makes all the work worthwhile and it's always a pleasure to talk to you and fangirl with you too!

Awww~ I get like that too and thank you thank you! I will be delivering more domestic fluffiness and family bonding scenes for our beloved boys and their mother dearest! I can't wait until you see what I have planned for when they're teenagers! (。✪ω✪。)

LOL! I can so imagine you laughing maniacally at the justice being served but you and I are the same in that sense, I laugh the same way when I'm writing so, just know, that you're not alone (๑>◡<๑)

Yes yes, I'm definitely taking advantage of Mr Dumbles' mischievous side, I don't think the worst of him comes out until that dreaded prophecy is given but our reader isn't taking any chances, that's for sure -- and I agree, having Orion to compared our lovely reader to makes the decision so sooo obvious!

Reader, for sure, is going to be the best mother ever! Anything for our darling babies and their friends and all of our other favourite characters! And I'm so happy to write McGonagall too, she with Reader and Madam Pomfrey are going to be a motherly golden trio ✧。٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*。

You're the sweetest! I'm so happy you built up the courage to send an ask my way in the end, you've had a profound impact on me too, my darling! Writing for you is never a struggle ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ*)!♡

That's so perfect and true! Damocles and Ruth would be a great example of a healthy couple for our babies! But, of course, with Reader being Damocles' only 'investor' making them family friends seems to be the natural path forward (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)♡

hehe~ cliffhangers are the best and I love seeing your theories for what you think may happen so please come forward with your thoughts before, reading, after reading or even in between updates! Hearing your thoughts have to be one of my favourite things as a writer/author (。>\\<)♡

AND I APPRECIATE YOU SO SO MUCH FOR GIVING MY WRITING A CHANCE AND SHOWING ME YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT! I honestly don't think I would have been writing this long without your darlings ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ ) (i will always be calling you a lovely darling, it's very fitting for you, no? I think so, at least, and that's what matters!)

second ask

Seeing you in my inbox is ALWAYS a treat, my darling ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ*)!♡ and as long as the Christmas vibes are on point, you're good! Haha! Awww~ so cute, I love these emojis so much! They're adorable, very much like you (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)

That's great, having the right attitude is half the battle done o( ˶^▾^˶ )o and you're very welcome! I understand what you mean about putting writing on hold, your mental health always comes first so please don't ever feel bad about prioritising it -- also, you and me both on creative writing being an escape, it's the best feeling ever so I'm happy to see you're giving it another go. I'm cheering you on all the way!

Please do, I would really appreciate that. Again, there's not much I can dobut being aware of it and making sure those people aren't suffering in silence is the least I can do. And thank you for bringing them to my attention, you have such a big heart and it speaks so much to your beauty and kindness, aren't I lucky to be friends with such a person? (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

#☁︎ : kquil talks #🌸 : anon #I'm sorry I took so long to reply!#my beautiful darling!#I missed you and I'm so happy you're in my inbox again!

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legends-of-time · 1 year ago

Text

The Journey of Living at Downton

Chapter 25: September 1921

Masterlist

A year has passed. Many positive things have happened, Mary and Matthew have celebrated their 1st anniversary and Tom and Emma with their second. Ivy is now 1 year and 4 months while Sybbie is 1 year and 1 month. Other positives are that Mary and Emma find themselves pregnant. By September 1921, Mary is 8 months and nearing the end while Emma is just 4 months and still in the more early stages.

They all deeply miss Sybil. The anniversary of her death began with a celebration for little Sybbie and later on a recollection of her late mother. Emma is glad she's finding footing with her new family after the loss of one of her best friends.

Emma and Billy stand with their young daughters, pointing out the servants as they go about their business.

With the autumn beginning, it is the start of the deer stalking season. All the staff are preparing for the family to leave for their regular holiday to Duneagle, the home of Lady Rose MacClare and her parents, Hugh MacClare, Marquess of Flintshire and Susan MacClare, Marchioness of Flintshire, for a summer break at Duneagle Castle in the Highlands of Scotland, leaving most of their servants back at home. It is quite a significant trip as the family hadn't been since before the war.

Mr Bates, Anna, Mr Molesley, and Miss O'Brien are also making the trip. Tom, Emma and Billy remain at Downton after not being invited, which they don't mind.

——

They all sit down for breakfast in the Dining room before they head off. Robert sits at the head with Mary, Emma and Cora on his left, Edith, Matthew and Tom on his left and Billy opposite on the other end. Thomas stands in the corner looking very prim in his under butler outfit.

There's a call for Edith and she leaves to take it before returning.

"Who was it?" Her mother asks.

"My editor, Michael Gregson," Edith answers as she takes her seat. Emma can already see Robert pulling a face at the sound of the man's name. Honestly, after a year you would've thought he would have come round to the idea of his daughter writing for a newspaper. "He's realised he'll be in Scotland at the same time as us."

"Don't tell me he'll be near Duneagle," Mary remarks.

"Apparently." Mary and Emma share a look though Emma's is kinder.

"What a coincidence." Emma jokes with a smile. Matthew gives her and Mary a scolding look.

Edith raises an eyebrow. "Yes, isn't it?"

"Maybe we can ask him over," Cora suggests. "We want to meet him, don't we, Robert?"

Robert sighs and thankfully Matthew changes the conversation. "Why are the Flintshires based in Scotland when the title's Welsh?"

"Oh, Shrimpie's grandmother was Countess of Newtonmoor in her own right. It's now their courtesy title." Robert explains.

"Dare one ask why he's called Shrimpie?" Billy asks with a smile.

"It was a Nursery game. Louisa was a lobster, Agatha was a shark, which is easy to believe, and I suppose Shrimpie was a shrimp." Robert answers.

"Is he very small?" Tom asks. Matthew chuckles.

"No, but he was the youngest," Mary replies. Mr Carson walks in to relieve Thomas of his position in the corner.

"I'm sorry you three won't be with us," Cora says to Tom, Billy and Emma.

"It's all right. We'll have lots to do." Emma reassures her. She has appreciated how Cora has taken a mothering role with the three of them, which Emma has missed. "We have the children too."

"And why should they ask us? We don't know them at all." Her husband adds.

"Nor do I, really." Matthew remarks.

"Are you sure you should be going?" Robert asks his eldest with concern.

Mary sighs with annoyance, not that Emma blames her considering this has been a never ending topic since Mary had declared she's not being left behind. "Don't be a spoilsport. I still have a month." Mr Carson harrumphs. "You don't want me to go, either?"

"I think you should take good care of yourself, Milady. That's all." The butler replies.

"I agree." Her father says.

"Well, Emma supports me." Mary retorts leading to a few raised eyebrows in Emma's direction.

"Um, well, they say women can exercise up to the day before delivery." Emma awkwardly explains. She receives a suggestive look from her husband to which she rolls her eyes.

"Right, let's get started," Robert announces. "I told Mama we'd be on the platform at quarter to, and we're late."

——

At the Station, it seems to be organised chaos as luggage is loaded up and everyone is finding their seats. Emma has already said goodbye to Anna and Mr Bates and now stands with Cora and Isobel near the front of the train when Edith and Violet approach. The Dowager had, in her own funny way, conceded and gave permission for Emma to call her by her given name since Emma seems to call the rest of the family by such names she had said.

"Have you got everything?" Isobel asks Violet.

"Well, if I haven't, it's too late now." Violet remarks then glances over her shoulder. "Do you think it's wise to leave them here unsupervised?" Emma looks to see Robert talking to both Billy and Tom, who is holding Isis' leash. Probably giving them strict instructions on how to look after the dog.

"What do you mean?" Cora asks.

"Well, I know they're house-broken, more or less and Emma will watch them, but I don't want freedom to go to his head." Violet worries.

"I'll keep an eye on them as well. They and Emma can come to dinner tonight." Isobel suggests.

"Oh. Well, that's one day taken care of. Only nine to go!" Violet remarks.

"Don't worry, I'll be around," Emma reassures her with an amused smile as she boards the train.

——

"I'm sure I don't know." Mrs Hughes' voice is heard coming from one of the bedrooms, Billy's, that Emma passes as she walks to put things away after coming from the station.

"I wonder what Lady Flintshire made of her cousin's daughter eloping with an engineer," Edna remarks. Edna Braithwaite is a new addition to Downton after having recently joined as a new general maid. Emma is not sure what to make of her. In a way, with some information from Gemma, she seems to be wishing for a better life like Ethel but seems more conniving about it.

It seems they talking about Sybil, which causes Emma to pause and listen.

"It's not your place to wonder." Mrs Hughes reminds her.

"What was she like?" Edna asks softly.

"She was a sweet, kind person. And a real beauty. Inside and out." Emma smiles softly with tears in her eyes.

"You'd think she could have done better." This causes Emma to sombre up and step into the room.

"But SHE didn't think she could do better, and that's what matters," Emma says shortly as she steps inside. The two in the room whip round to look at her. Edna seems to have been changing the sheets reminding Emma of the old days of her, Gemma, Gwen and Anna doing this job.

"Mrs Branson." Mrs Hughes greets with an amused smile.

"Mrs Hughes."

"He's nice looking, I'll give him that," Edna remarks. Emma narrows her eyes at her.

"I don't think you're required to give him anything." Mrs Hughes snaps.

——

Emma, Billy and Tom have lunch together in the Dining room. It is odd to be in this house without the family and for it to feel so empty despite all the people downstairs. They are chatting away with each other when Edna, carrying a tray interrupts.

"Oh," she says, pausing when she sees they are still in here and Emma then realises they have been in here longer than usual, "Mr Carson sent me up to clear. He thought you'd be out of here."

"We should be," Billy says, smiling kindly at her.

"Seems sad for you all to be left behind all on your own," Edna says to them but Emma can't help but feel she's more looking at Billy than her and Tom, particularly after the conversation she had heard earlier.

"We're used to it," Tom remarks. Edna flickers her eyes to him then looks away towards Billy in a dismissive action. Emma is beginning to really not like this girl.

"Yes. Yes, of course. You would be. It must be very hard for you Mr Prior." Emma is surprised at how direct she's being, Emma was never like this when she was a maid though back then she was used to this world and was still figuring it out.

Billy looks sad and also startled at her statement. "Don't worry about me." He hurriedly says as they all stand.

"Well," Emma interrupts Edna's staring, "there's plenty to do."

"You're the new maid, aren't you?" Tom then asks. Usually, Emma likes how friendly her husband is with everyone but this time she's not happy. "What's your name?"

"Edna. Edna Braithwaite."

The three vacate the room as Tom gives his wife a questioning look. She shakes her head. There's nothing to worry about just yet.

——

Billy, Emma and Tom go to the Crawley house that evening to eat with Isobel and afterwards sit in her Drawing room to have some tea.

"I hope you'll come here whenever you like," Isobel says. She and Billy sit in chairs on either side of the settee Emma and Tom sit on. "It must be odd, being alone in that great house."

"Well, we're not alone." Emma corrects. "There are people Tom and I know well. Except they're all downstairs, and we're up."

"Well, why not take the opportunity to spend some time with them?" Isobel suggests.

"I don't think old Lady Grantham would approve of that," Tom remarks causing Emma and Billy to chuckle.

"No," Isobel agrees, "but I doubt she approves of the working class learning to read." They chuckle. "But can I take this chance to say to all of you that you've managed a very delicate transition superbly?"

"Thank you," Billy says softly.

"But don't be too eager to please." Isobel continues. "You have a new identity. And I don't mean because you're not a chauffeur or a maid or an engineer at the low standings anymore. Tom as the agent of this estate, Emma as a nurse at Downton Hospital and Billy being a higher standing engineer, you all have a perfect right to talk to anyone who works under you. Anyone you choose."

"That's quite a speech," Emma says feeling quite touched.

"I mean it. You all have positions now, and you're entitled to use them."

——

They return to Downton and to cause the least disruption, they take the servants' entrance.

"Mr Branson, Emma, Mr Prior?" Mrs Hughes calls as she steps out of her Sitting room behind them.

"Sorry Mrs Hughes, we didn't want to drag one of you upstairs to open the door." Emma apologises and the fact that she feels weird doing it without the family here.

"That was kind." Mrs Hughes says before adding, "Oh, I wondered if you would allow the maids to clean during the day while the family's in Scotland?"

"You don't need our permission, Mrs Hughes," Billy tells her.

"But I do." Mrs Hughes insists awkwardly and it is, then three ordering the servants about? Bizarre. "And if any of you want to use a particular room, then please let me know and we'll vacate it at once."

"Thank you, Mrs Hughes," Tom says. "Good night."

Emma and Billy mutter their own.

"Good night, Mr Branson, Emma, Mr Prior."

——

The next day to save the awkwardness and all the work for the servants, Emma, Billy and Tom decide to go to the Grantham Arms for lunch. Emma is honestly looking forward to it as she is getting away to sit with people of the real world.

Emma and Tom are late because Ivy was fussing but ask Billy to go ahead with Isis so she can get a good walk in and they'll catch up.

"Good afternoon, George." Tom greets as they enter and walk over to the bar. "The usual sandwiches, please."

"Anything else extra for the missus?" George asks.

"I'm good George, thank you," Emma says. George nods and walks away.

Emma glances around to see if Billy has arrived and spots Edna talking with Billy as they sit at a table together. Emma nudges Tom to get his attention.

"Hello." Tom greets.

Emma frowns a bit when she notices Billy looks a little alarmed and startled and she wonders what Edna could've possibly said to him.

"Edna has invited us to join the servants downstairs for dinner one night." Billy pipes up.

"That's nice to hear," Tom says with a smile as he and Emma sit down. Emma can't help but think Edna looks a little displeased with their arrival.

"Yes, very nice, but we don't want to distract you from your work," Emma says as kindly as possible. "I hear Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes are giving you all extra work now the house is a bit more empty."

Edna doesn't look pleased but excuses herself, giving a lingering look to Billy before leaving.

Emma tries to enjoy her lunch with Tom and Billy but she can't help but think about Edna. She would like to have dinner with the servants but is unsure now, particularly considering it seems to have become Edna's idea.

——

Tom and Emma go for a walk to have a look around the ground that afternoon and had warned Billy they would be late for dinner that evening. Emma had spent that morning resting, as pregnancy seems to always make her tired, and spending time with Ivy and Sybbie in the Nursery.

"I worry about the new maid Edna," Emma says to her husband as they walk back to the house.

"Why? I thought you would like a modern woman." Tom comments confused.

"Well, yeah but think she's after something and it's like she'll get it through any means," Emma says. "I can't help but feel like she's trying to manipulate Billy in some sort of way."

"You're overthinking, love. I doubt Mrs Hughes would allow it." Tom reassures her.

"True," Emma murmurs though she wonders if something will happen before. "Thomas has told me about a fair in Thirsk. This Friday he says. Apparently, a group of them from downstairs are going. Why don't we?"

"Why not."

Emma isn't so sure about Tom's dismissiveness of Edna when they come back to join Billy to find him looking visibly shaken as he sits at the table.

——

Billy had become insistent on the dining downstairs and when Tom backs him up, Emma can't say no, especially when she herself missing sitting with those downstairs despite not all of them being at Downton right now.

"Oh, how can I help, Mrs Branson?" Mrs Hughes asks as Emma enters the Servants' Hall. While the woman often calls Emma by her first name, she understands that Mrs Hughes wouldn't do so in front of the other servants, particularly the new ones.

Thomas stands by the bells, Jimmy and Alfred polishing the silverware further down the table, Daisy seems to be sorting the cups and plates with the help of Anne and Edna has a box open next to her though Emma can't see entirely what she is doing. Mrs Hughes' words draw attention to her. Alfred and Jimmy abruptly stand while Anne and Daisy spin around. Edna sits in her seat, looking at Emma with a judging look. Emma had hoped Gemma would be here but clearly she is busy.

"I was thinking... It's just..." Emma stumbles. While she had used to be one of them, it had been so long and there are now many faces who did not know her when she was a maid.

"Yes?" Mrs Hughes prompts encouragingly.

"I, well we, Mr Branson, Mr Prior and I, thought we'd come down for supper tonight. Catch up with your news." Emma suggests. Her eyes flicker to Edna and she doesn't like the pleased and smug look that appears on the maid's face.

Mrs Hughes looks surprised but quickly continues. "If you would like to, of course, you'd be very welcome. We don't eat late while the family's away, so dinner will be at about eight o'clock."

Emma nods hurriedly, she glances towards Thomas, who gives her a small smile and then says, "I'll see you then." And quickly leaves.

——

"He's what?" Emma hears Mr Carson spit out as she, Tom and Billy approach the Butler's Pantry that evening.

"It's only meant to be friendly." Comes Mrs Hughes replies before Tom knocks on the door and the three enter.

"Good evening, Mr Carson. I don't expect you to approve." Tom greets. Mr Carson glares at him and Billy but only gives a simple disapproving glance to Emma.

"Well, now, come along in." Mrs Hughes urges and practically pushes out of the room.

——

"Know what you're going to wear?" Edna asks. Emma, unfortunately, has to sit directly across from Edna with Jimmy on her left and Tom on her right.

"Nothing good, that's for sure." Gemma remarks from Edna's left.

"I'll keep an eye on the place," Billy says as he sits on Tom's right.

"Oh, don't say you're not coming." Edna suddenly says before quietening quickly when she seems to realise she's overstepping. Thomas glances at her observingly and Emma is glad someone else is noticing. "I-I thought you could drive us."

"There is no need for impertinence, Edna, thank you." Mrs Hughes reprimands her pointedly from Thomas' left.

"Plus, Mr Branson can drive," Emma adds, frowning at Edna.

"No, it's fine. There's lots of us and Mr Branson has already been teaching me. I'll be happy to get you all there." Billy reassures quickly.

"But who'll stay here?" Gemma asks.

"I will." Mr Carson announces.

"You don't want to come to the fair?" Alfred questions.

"I would sooner chew broken glass."

Jimmy and Alfred look pleased with the reply but Emma sees Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes sharing an amused look and realises that it was intentional.

——

The next day is the fair. All of Thirsk and then some seem to be there. These kinds of fairs are good as it is free to enter and only spent how much you wanted to. Emma knows that she won't be going on any of the rides as it'll make her nauseous, which annoys her to no end.

"I said I'd meet him at his stall." Mrs Patmore says as they all slow to take in the scene in front of them. Him being Mrs Patmore's fancy man according to Gemma.

"What's that?" Mrs Hughes asks her, gesturing to the bundle Mrs Patmore carries.

"He asked me to bring sandwiches."

"Can I come?" Alfred asks. "I want to find out where the best food stalls are."

"Why don't we all go?" Mrs Hughes suggests.

"Here's something for us," Jimmy says, taking notice of a sign for tug of war. "Alfred? Mr Branson? Mr Prior? Let's give it a go."

"I don't mind," Tom remarks.

"What about you?" Alfred asks Thomas.

Jimmy snickers. "Isn't it a bit rough for Mr Barrow?"

"Oh, I think I could manage." Thomas retorts as he walks away. Emma raises a pointed eyebrow at Jimmy before following him with Tom close behind.

——

"Any side bets before we begin?" A man calls. He stands in the tug of war, which is marked by some rope creating a rectangular shape. Jimmy, Alfred, Tom, Billy and Thomas stand at one end of a long piece of rope while an equal amount of men stand at the other. The man talking stands at the middle where some fabric has been tied around the rope at the midway point.

"Who'd bet on them?" A man at the front of the opposite team remarks smugly. The rest of his team share similar expressions. Emma doesn't like it and shares an unhappy look with Gemma who stands beside her.

Gemma has been clinging to her side ever since Tom had left it to join in on the tug of war and Emma can't help but feel like, after seeing her husband and Gemma talking, that the maid had been assigned to keep an eye on her.

"What odds would you give us?" Jimmy replies unbothered.

"10 to one." The first man says.

"Right. A quid on the Downton team." Jimmy declares. Emma raises her eyebrows in surprise. Jimmy seems very sure of the Downton group's capabilities.

The opposite team laughs while Jimmy hands the money to the man who had declared the odds. "Any more? Ready?" He picks up the rope where the fabric is tied.

"One moment." Jimmy stops him and turns to a plump man that stands next to Mrs Patmore on the opposite side to Emma. Must be her fancy man. "Mr Tufton, you'll join our team, won't you? As a Downton supplier?"

"If you want us, lad, aye." Mr Tufton takes off his jacket and hat to Mrs Patmore and walks to the end of the rope, just in front of where Emma stands. He turns to two female spectators standing nearby. "Good afternoon, ladies. You all right? They need abut of muscle, so they sent for Tufton. Go on, feel that muscle." He offers his arm to the two females who remark how strong he is and Emma is in shock at his blatant flirting while Mrs Patmore, who he had invited, stands nearby.

"Gentleman, take the strain! Pull!" The man lets go of the rope and the teams begin pulling.

Emma joins in the cheering of the crowd while also admiring how nice her husband looks with the sleeves rolled up and muscles straining.

"Come on, lads!" Daisy is yelling.

"Come on, boys!" Edna cries.

"Mr Tufton!" Mrs Patmore yells cheerfully.

The man who had let go of the rope is looking increasingly annoyed and stressed with the opposing team or it looks that way with how he's yelling at the team.

Eventually, the Downton team are successful as they tumble backwards with the rope, pulling the opposing team forward onto the ground.

"I declare the Downton team the winner!"

Emma cheers and claps. She smiles happily when she sees the beaming smile on her husband's face.

——

While Emma will be too nauseous to go on the swinging boats and swings, she can go on the carousel. She rides next to Tom, having to grip his arm as she accidentally slides too far towards him as she laughs and enjoys herself. Her laughter is cut short however when she sees Edna gripping onto Billy a few seats ahead.

Emma takes a turn at the coconut saloon with Gemma before also finding Isobel and Dr Clarkson at the fair. The Doctor checks in on her health before joining in with other men with trying out some bikes and Isobel draws Emma into blowing up some balloons though Emma completely fails at it as she's never been good at it.

Other things worry Emma though. Mr Tufton seemingly flirting with every woman he sees when Mrs Patmore's back is turned, Edna's continued flirtation with an uncomfortable Billy and how an increasingly drunk Jimmy keeps flashing his cash about like there's no tomorrow.

The good atmosphere is broken when a frantic Jimmy barges into Emma as he pushes through the crowd.

"Oi watch it!" Tom exclaims, pulling Emma away from Jimmy.

"Sorry, Mrs Branson," Jimmy mutters but Emma can see he is distracted. His eyes dart over the crowd determinedly.

"Jimmy? What is it? What's wrong?" Emma questions.

"Where's Dr Clarkson?" Jimmy asks instead.

Emma looks around and spots Isobel with Dr Clarkson sitting at a table under some covering, having a drink. "Over there. But what's—"

She doesn't get a chance to finish as Jimmy runs off in the Doctor's direction.

"What's going on?" Tom wonders.

"Let's find out." Emma decides.

They get near enough to hear Jimmy yell, "Doctor! Doctor, you've got to come now!"

"What is it?" Dr Clarkson questions as he and Isobel stand.

"It's Thomas. Please!"

At those words, Emma's eyes widen in panic and she breaks out into a run after Jimmy, Dr Clarkson and Isobel despite Tom's protests and Billy's once he starts to chew after her himself when he sees the commotion.

——

They come across a beaten up Thomas lying under a bridge. Emma gasps in shock and immediately begins assessing his injuries and helping Dr Clarkson by whipping blood from Thomas' face.

Not only are Dr Clarkson, Emma, Isobel, Jimmy, Tom and Billy surrounding Thomas but Edna, Mrs Hughes and Alfred have joined them as well.

"Is there any chance of apprehending these men?" Isobel questions.

"Not really." Alfred murmurs.

"But why did you get into a fight? It's not like you." Mrs Hughes says to Thomas. Emma sees Thomas looking over her shoulder, she turns to see Jimmy staring back at him. What's going on there?

"What have they taken?" Tom asks.

"Every penny I had, but it wasn't much." Thomas gasps out.

"Is anything broken?" Mrs Hughes asks Dr Clarkson.

"I don't think so." The Doctor replies.

"So, he'll be all right?" Jimmy then asks surprising Emma. His whole behaviour when he came barging through the crowd looking for Dr Clarkson has been surprising considering the rocky relationship Emma knows he and Thomas share.

"We ought to get him home." Emma declares.

"Mr Branson and I will fetch the wagonettes," Billy says, he and Tom leave.

"I'll help him," Alfred says. He assists Dr Clarkson to lift Thomas up while Emma anxiously hovers. Thomas groans in pain.

"Lean on me," Alfred says as he guides Thomas out of the dip they are all gathered in.

Emma helps Dr Clarkson in looking after Thomas once back at Downton and makes sure Thomas is comfortable in his bed before leaving him to rest. He had confessed to her when it's just the two of them that he hadn't simply gotten into a fight but was saving Jimmy. Emma hopes this means the two of them will get along better in the future now.

——

The next day they get a call saying that Mary and Anna are returning. Emma feels immediately feels concerned about Mary but she is reassured that Mary is just unsettled and needs to return to rest.

Emma hears from Billy that Edna has been fired but is leaving with a good reference. Emma thinks it's because of Billy that she's getting a good reference and is also glad that she wasn't the only one that noticed Edna's behaviour.

Emma is anxious to go to Mary once she gets to the Station. Tom insists that they stay and at least have a decent lunch, reminding Emma that if the birth is really imminent, she will need her strength to help Mary get through it.

They are only just finishing, with Billy joining them, about two hours later, when news comes from the train station: Mary and Anna have arrived safely, but Mary has requested to go directly to the Hospital.

Tom, Billy and Emma bolt up from their seats.

"Get what you need," Tom says. "I'll get the car ready."

Emma nods and then runs upstairs for her nursing uniform. She also grabs a bag then goes to Mary's room and grabs a nightshirt, a dressing gown and a handful of toiletries. She has been by Mary's side through check-ups and will be mad if she isn't with her today as she gives birth. Once everything is packed, she runs downstairs. Tom is waiting in the car, already running, while Mr Carson holds the front door open for her with Billy anxiously standing beside him. She doesn't blame him as this is the first birth in the family after Sybil.

"We'll telephone with news once we know the situation." She says to the butler. "And the rest of the family are probably on their way back by now."

"Not to worry, Mrs Branson, we'll have the house ready for their return." Mr Carson replies.

——

When Tom and Emma arrive at the Hospital, only minutes after Mary, who is still in the Entrance Hall with Anna waiting for the duty nurse to direct her to a room, the first words out of Mary's mouth are, "This is your fault." Emma rolls her eyes knowing she's not being entirely serious.

"Lady Mary, we're ready." The group turns to see Dr Clarkson gesturing for them to follow him down the Hall.

Before she does so, Mary looks at Tom. "We left the luggage at the train station."

"I'll get it. Don't worry." He reassures her, even before she asks the question.

"I have some things from the house," Emma says. "But probably not everything you need."

"Why don't I go with him," Anna suggests. "I can unpack and bring back what's needed for yourself and the baby."

"And call Duneagle," Mary adds.

"Don't they know?!" Emma exclaims.

"We sent word from the train station, just after we called the house, but I'd like to know for sure that Matthew's on his way," Mary explains.

"I'll call to say you're back safe but that they should come back as well, if they haven't left already," Tom tells her.

"Pardon me." Dr Clarkson interrupts. "I know plans have to be made, but if the child really is on his way, we should make Lady Mary as comfortable as possible as soon as possible."

"Of course," Emma says. "Go on, darling." She adds, gesturing to Tom that he be on his way.

——

Mary is settled into a small bed in a private room, at the very end of the Hospital, away from the main ward where she'll have privacy and quiet. Emma goes into the nurses' quarters to change into her uniform, glad to not have to use the corset as she's pregnant, and when she returns, Dr Clarkson has just finished his examination.

"And your pain, how often are you feeling it now?" He asks the mother-to-be.

Mary thinks for a moment. "Every quarter of an hour, maybe? I felt it an hour or so before we pulled into the train station. It's what prompted me to come here."

Dr Clarkson nods. "Well, it's still early on. If you wanted to go home—"

"No," Mary says firmly. "Unless you're prepared to tell me that the baby is not going to be born this week, I won't leave the Hospital without him— or her." Emma knows it's important for Mary and the estate, but she really wishes Mary won't pin all her hopes on the baby being a boy.

"Well, I can't promise that it'll be today, but tomorrow surely." Dr Clarkson explains. Considering what happened with Sybil, extra care is needed this time around so it's better for Mary to stay put.

"Thank you, Dr Clarkson," Emma says, stepping forward. "I'll stay with her. You won't need to alter staffing for the Hospital at the moment."

"Thank you, Nurse Branson." Turning to Mary, he adds, "I can't imagine you'll be in better hands."

Mary smiles. "I quite agree."

Once he is gone from the room, Emma comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Anxious to have it done with now," Mary remarks. Emma chuckles, she knows that feeling. "But apparently, I'm just at the start. He did say that nothing looked out of order, not like..."

Emma smiles sadly. "Not like Sybil?" Mary nods, as if afraid to say something more. Emma takes Mary's hand. "You should hope that it all goes smoothly. You needn't feel guilty if it does."

Mary doesn't look quite cheered yet. "I just wish I'd known more. I would have spoken up, supported Mama, Billy and you."

Emma shakes her head and dismissively waves her hand. "Don't dwell on that now, we can't change the past. Just focus on keeping calm and resting. You'll need all your strength soon enough."

"Will you be here with me tonight?" Mary shakily asks.

Emma smiles. "Of course."

——

Mary has a fitful night's sleep, with the pains growing closer together and growing in intensity. She is tired but in good spirits and seems ready for what comes next in every respect save for Matthew's absence.

Emma remains with her all night, taking only a small rest in the early hours of the morning, when Isobel, who had arrived in the afternoon after being alerted, comes to check on Mary again and offers to give Emma a reprieve. Emma only sleeps for several hours, but by the time she wakes up, she can see that the baby's arrival will happen likely no later than that very afternoon.

——

"I wish Matthew were here." Mary huffs as Isobel sits by her side, holding her hand. Emma wipes her forehead with a towel. "It's funny. I feel as if I'm only half myself without him."

"He'll be arriving soon I bet," Emma reassures.

"And you won't want him in the room till it's all over, trust me!" Isobel says with a grin Mary huffs a laugh out.

"I had Tom in the room. I felt he aught to suffer a little." Emma remarks.

Mary laughs again but then groans in pain. "Oh!"

"It won't be long now," Isobel reassures her.

"We must ring Carson. He'll be in such a state." Mary says.

"I will," Isobel tells her.

"I shouldn't have gone up north. How could I be so stupid?" Mary laments.

"The baby will be well Mary. It's going to only be slightly early but that's okay, we'll look after them." Emma reassures her softly. Mary nods and gives her a thankful smile.

——

Mary's delivery goes off without complication. She gives birth to a son. He weighs a healthy seven pounds, with bright blue eyes and features that suggest he will grow up to be the spitting image of his father.

Mary, being her father's daughter, is immediately pleased that she has borne an heir on her first try. Emma is too happy for her to point out the silliness of the notion that boys are more important and lets Mary bask in her success.

Emma calls to tell Mr Carson and he's a blubbering mess.

"Thank you. Thank you very much." He says earnestly.

Emma laughs. "We'll keep you posted."

"Thank you very much indeed." He ends the call and it is then Emma realises that he never asked about the sex. Oh well.

——

"He's perfect," Emma says as she watches Mary hold the tiny creature, cleaned and bundled into a blanket.

Mary has nothing to say for several minutes. Her eyes cloud over with tears, but there is no crying, only relief and love. Emma smiles on seeing the usually stoic woman allowing herself to be this emotional.

"Is he really all right? There's nothing wrong?" Mary asks frantically out without taking her eyes off her son.

"Like I said, he's perfect." Emma answers.

"He is, isn't he?" Mary says, beaming.

"Do you know what you'll call him?"

"Not yet," Mary replies. "We haven't settled on one. I liked Alistair, after great-grandpapa. Matthew was partial to George."

"Well, Matthew should be here soon enough, and you can decide. In the meantime, I have spoken with Mr Carson, so they'll have the news at home when they arrive." Emma tells her.

But Mary is too taken with the bundle in her arms to say anything in response. Emma can only smile at the sight of the enamoured mother.

She steps outside of the room, to let them be alone. Once she has closed the door, Emma finally allows the tears she had been holding back to roll down her cheeks, tears of joy, relief and exhaustion all mixed together.

"You did well, Nurse Branson."

Emma jumps and her head snaps towards the voice. Dr Clarkson stands there smiling.

She lets out a watery chuckle. "Thank you. Don't know why I'm crying." Emma wipes her cheeks. "I'm blaming the hormones."

"Perhaps, but it could be a relief after all that has happened." Dr Clarkson suggests.

"Maybe, but I warn you, there'll be more tears when the father arrives," Emma remarks.

"I do not doubt it." He chuckles.

——

As it turns out, Matthew misses his son's birth only by a little over an hour. Emma and Isobel linger by the entrance, waiting for him to appear. Matthew bursts through the Hospital doors, hands shaking and looking like he is about to collapse when he sees the two of them. His features draw together in desperation as he looks at them expectantly. They guide him down the corridor to the room Mary and the baby are in.

"She's fine." His mother says. "So is he. They're both fine."

His shoulders drop in relief and his emotions seem to turn into one of jubilation. He kisses Isobel on the cheek before abruptly doing the same to Emma, which catches her by surprise causing her to laugh. Tears are wetting his eyes as he stumbles to the door of Mary's room. Emma shakes her head at him with a chuckle.

Isobel lets out her own. "We better let the new family be alone though I better go to Downton, keep at bay."

"Quite right."

Isobel leaves to return to Downton while Emma lingers on the other side of the door that contains the happy family.

——

Emma has just closed the door behind her when she hears footsteps coming up the hallway. Her face brightens for a moment at the sight of Robert and her husband.

"What are you doing here?" She chuckles. "Can't believe it's really a boy and come to see for yourself, have you?"

But the teasing question is only just out of her mouth when Robert steps into the light and Emma sees his face. His eyes are red-rimmed as if he has been crying recently. Tom's face is equally solemn and downcast. Emma turns her head to seek his eyes out, but he just looks away.

"What is it?" Emma asks.

"Is she awake?" Robert asks instead.

Emma's heart begins to race and dread begins to pool in the pit of her stomach. "What is it, Robert?"

"Is she awake? Is the baby with her?"

"He's with the nurse. What's wrong?" Emma can't take this suspense anymore.

Robert and Tom look at each other and Tom nods.

"Tom?" Emma asks, looking at her husband expecting to find the usual comfort in his eyes and seeing fear and resignation instead. Robert moves to open the door. "Robert, please..."

But Robert ignores Emma and goes in, pushing the door closed behind him. Emma, now growing angry, turns the knob but feels Tom's hand over hers. She looks into his eyes again.

He closes his eyes and sighs. "Matthew is dead."

Emma shakes her head as if shaking the thought away, not accepting what she'd just heard.

"I'm sorry, love."

"But—"

"It was a motoring accident, just a few miles from here. I-I saw it."

Emma brings her hands to her face and crumples into Tom's chest. After a moment, she pulls her arms down and around Tom's waist and the two stand there comforting one another for several minutes before Emma's grief becomes concern for Mary. Abruptly, she pushes Tom away and moves to open the door once again. This time he doesn't stop her, and when she does Mary is standing there, on the other side.

The two women look at one another for a long moment before Mary says, "I need to see him."

Emma numbly nods and steps aside to let Mary step out of the room.

Immediately, Robert speaks up, "Emma, bring her back here. She needs to lie down!"

Emma hesitates for a second before turning to Tom. "Where is he?" Tom looks torn. "Tell me or I'll just look myself."

Tom nods, resigned, and turns to guide them toward the basement room that serves as the Hospital's morgue. Emma grips Mary's arms and guides the woman along the corridors.

Robert, on their heels, "Tom, Emma, this is ridiculous. Stop at once!" But he is ignored.

It is a short walk, to the end of the Hall and down the stairs. Neither Tom nor Emma speak to Mary. Mary seems to be barely registering what's around her. Emma pulling her along seems the only reason she's moving along with them.

When they arrive, the door to the room is open. Mary steps forward, but Emma puts her hand on her arm, stopping her.

"Are you sure?" She asks her. Emma doesn't know how this'll help.

"I need to see him," Mary says firmly.

"You can't unsee it," Emma warns her. "I won't stop you, but I need you to tell me you're sure."

"I need to see him," Mary repeats. It seems to be the only thing her mind is set on. She steps into the room. Emma tries to walk in with her but Tom holds her back.

Mary walks to the only bed on which there appears to be a body. The bed is low to the ground. Mary hesitates then before bending over, grabbing a fistful of the sheet and pulling it away unceremoniously. She squeezes her eyes shut immediately and looks away. Robert pushes past Emma, who had put her hands over her eyes and turned into her husband's chest once more, and is at Mary's side in an instant. He puts his arm around her to pull her away, but she stops him.

"Wait," Mary says quietly. She kneels and, with her sleeve, begins to clean off the blood coming out of his right ear. She runs her fingers through his hair several times then she closes his eyes. She stands and breaks down into tears before fainting in her father's arms.

——

A/N: I'm sorry to those who probably wanted me to save Matthew but I just wanted to show how the whole story is about Emma travelling back in time and how she reacts to Downton and how the world is affected by her presence. This isn't an alternative 'what if' where they survive.

Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

#downton abbey

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